#oof welp

[chocojincake]

Mine and only, only yours 🧛‍♂️🍷

Ok listen,,, if no one writes nor draw something q!cellbit vampire related imma do it myself imma spread the propaganda

[bleue-flora]

Write the autitic c!dream essay🙏🙏

Why I think c!Dream is Autistic - Part 1

[context]

[Part 1] - [Part 2] - [Part 3]

Welp… I guess while on the topic of neurodivergence now is as good as time as any to do this. So, at long last…

Since every version of this essay ended up way too long I’m going to break it into 3 parts, and I'm going to make more generalized statements for the sake of brevity. So, if there are things about this or autism in general you would like more clarification on or know more about, my asks are always open (though I do ask that you please wait to flood my inbox until after you’ve read all parts). I would also like to add that for the same reason of length, I am not going to go in depth on all of the facets of autism and diagnosing it. I am not a psychologist, and this essay is not about defining autism and going into full depth about what it is, but about the specific aspects of Dream and the dsmp that I think point to autism, based on what I know and more importantly my experiences as an autistic person. Having said that, just so we are on the same page - Autism means that our brains are literally structured differently (also known as neurodivergent), which means we think differently and process the world differently, it does not make us inferior or broken or less than larger society (neurotypicals), it only means we are human beings who are wired differently.

Now, for part 1 I’m going to briefly go into the traits Dream has that I think point to autism, keeping in mind that this is not necessarily all inclusive, these are not necessarily autism exclusive, and some of these can be effected with masking and personal growth. 

Highly obsessive - in general and for specific interest, to the point of not taking care of oneself, like forgetting to sleep, eat, shower, or just not caring enough to do so. 

Strong willed, determined and dedicated - not going to give up easily, willing to stay up training or farming for long hours or put in the work especially for our obsession. Our priorities aren’t always productive, but we are not ones for laziness.

Isolated - outcast, odd ball out, set apart, on the outskirts, loner, alone even if surrounded by people.

Highly intelligent - smart, clever, big brained, skilled, knowledgeable to the point of ground breaking (ex: Einstein, Elon Musk, Michelangelo, Beethoven, Leonardo da Vinci…etc)

Trouble with emotions and feelings - from recognizing them, processing them, letting ourselves experience them, understanding them, leading us to often then lash out, explode, or have a meltdown.

All about the facts and truth - sometimes to an abrasive and candid point where it can become more important than how people feel or the main point.

Logical mindset - making decisions based on logic and strategy rather than on emotions to the point of struggling to understand others when they follow no such logic

“Black and White” thinking - right and wrong, good or bad, yes or no, on or off, love it or hate it, friend or foe. Everything is in extremes.

Rule follower, one to fight for justice and for others - we are stubborn and in our strong conviction we are out against injustice and misinformation, fairness and what is right and true is imperative. 

Unable to forgive and forget - hard to let things go. Often have good memories and are able to remember things with the same detail as if it were happening again and not years ago. It doesn’t really fade with time and that makes us easily hold grudges, and hold things and behavior against people.

Resistant to change -  doesn’t matter how big or small nor whether it’s good or bad, we are enemies of change. We like to understand so uncertainty and new things are often disagreeable.

Able to recognize patterns - able to see the full picture, see history repeating itself and people’s behavioral tendencies, which makes us good at scheming and masterminding. We hate change so we want to predict things to avoid being surprised. 

Trouble articulating our point - stuttering and stumbling over our words, because our brains are moving too fast for our mouth to keep up and it’s hard to explain ourselves because our brain works differently. (we’ll talk about this more in part 2)

Struggle with body language? - I mean it’s hard to say given the Minecraft format, but to me wearing a mask could be to avoid having to make eye contact (which I hate) and appropriate facial expressions and stuff like that, which are pretty important in diagnosis. So while some headcanon that Dream wears a mask because he's too expressive and doesn't like being exposed I actually think it might be the opposite and saves him a lot of effort and brain power to not have to worry about his facial expression. :)

Stimming - (yes an ADHD thing but also an autistic thing and it's very common for someone to be both - like me ;D) vocally and physically often when more stressed, again hard to say for a Minecraft man, but I see him constantly moving like pacing the cell or jumping around and stuff as stimming and he does vocally stim on occasion as well.

Or in other words - Reasons I think c!Dream is autistic:

C!Dream = me, me = autistic -> c!Dream = autistic… boom, shortest essay ever XD lol jk 

But seriously it is a major reason. I read a tumblr c!Dream character analysis (don't remember who's) back before I even joined tumblr and related soo much, which is pretty concerning when you relate to a villain - because like wait does that make me a psychopath? but I have empathy and I care and I'm out to hurt people so why would I relate so much? And that's when I realized I think it is because he’s autistic like me so we think a like... I mean seriously the similarities are scarily uncanny down to things that have happened to me in real life…

Anyways, thank you for reading. I hope I made sense and got the idea across even by not going into super detail on all the points.

[skyward-floored]

I should draw all my Links together... that would be interesting... except I only have actual designs for like one and a half of them and I suck at group pictures

[sword-swordswordsknife]

[18+ stream and general cw yanno why mature yep]

today is thursday so ISAT stream time with squid yippeee!!! as of 6PMish 7/25ish (started a lil late)!! and there is also a vods channel if preferred (linked right in this parenthesis blurb!)

its his first time going thru the game, i am also in call, and we are doing voices and the like!!

in the midst of act 3.... king quest..... it'll possibly be finished today to act 4. tho who knows depends on if god interrupts or whatever maybe who knows i sure dont (°∀°)b

come hang / lurk / fish if desired itll be fun hopefully ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

anyway my offering of today is a sneak peak mirabelle of sorts ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

[who-can-touch-my-boob]

Yooo I just bid on a house, it’s so perfect because it’s a small house a little bit outside of town (so quiet) and by the sea. If I get it imma be very adult, buying a house alone at the age of 27 alone.

I’m so scared, but also excited!!!

Best part is it’s liveable for now, but it’s old so there’s possibilities to change stuffs in a few years.

[thedeafprophet]

me: * peacefully walking home at my extersion to the grocery store on a lovely sunny day *

my mom messaging me out of the blue after not hearing from her for a bit: oh by the way the whole group on the trip caught norwalk after i caught it, and your dad ended up getting it to and we ended up having to stay in some seedy hotel because he was too sick to drive and then we barely made it to our next location

my mom: but we're doing better now

me: ......

[navnae]

Idk why I’m tempted to writes the cheesiest steddie ficlet that gives off the worst indie movie vibe in history and making them say the corniest metaphors. Just imagine Steve and Eddie hanging out one night and it’s the typical friends having feelings for each other but too afraid to say anything. Eddie talks about how he runs away from any kind of affection because he’s scared that he’ll get hurt in the end and Steve chimed in with “well, it’s probably easier said than done but I’m sure that you’ll find someone who will cherish you and appreciate you.” He says softly. Both of them laugh about it then Steve mumbles “I wouldn’t hurt you.” Making Eddie snap his head towards him with confusion and Steve tries to play it off but Eddie knows what he heard. This is so random I just needed to say something a bout it, Steve and Eddie deserve a cheesy story honestly.

[ruisinjams]

I'd sat down for breakfast a good while ago, in a really good mood cuz there was dosa and then outta nowhere my mom told me that Zakir Hussain passed away and :'/ man I'm still processing it rn

[clowningaroundmars]

not me picking up YET AGAIN another spiderverse ship mannnnn what the hell is wrong with me……………

[bleue-flora]

As an inniter, but also a big c!Dream fan, you would not believe the people who get so upset over me just trying to be chill and talk about them both fairly. I don't get why people want to get so mad over block game. Personally, I love listening to other people’s thoughts, that's what community is about!

It is definitely wild to say the least. Though that’s not unique to discduo or even the dsmp, though certainly more prevalent in this fandom opposed to others. (I mean Supernatural fans are out here shipping brothers and Sam Winchester and his torturer, the literal Devil and I never came across them at each other’s throats. I mean talk about being an “abuse apologist” lol XD… ) but that over passion turned aggression does seem to be all across the internet and even into real life. It’s quite toxic really, used to be only politics were a dangerous topic but now it seems anything can garner pitchforks.

To be completely honest, I used to be a very passionate arguer, mind you about dealing with people and not young Minecraft boys. But I realized at some point that yelling at eachother was quite the waste of energy. If the other side is not even willing to listen or see your side then you might as well by talking to a brick wall, at least they might be more polite. So, I stopped arguing with people, who just wanted to scream nonsense without trying to see the other side, and started listening and discussing with people who mutually wanted to just talk about it. And I found it far more productive and interesting. Turns out people aren’t just terrible if they disagree with you, they just might have their own priorities or experiences or reasons that you don’t have. The world would be a simpler place if there was only one right answer and opinion and one wrong, but the truth is there is typically a little of both in either side, and a lot of times it’s just choosing which things are the most reasonable or important to you.

And we can always learn from each other even if at the end of the day your opinion remains the same. Most importantly, there’s really just no reason to hate someone just because they disagree with you, and their opinion doesn’t necessarily reflect their morals or whether they are or are not a good person. Sometimes you just gotta love and respect them anyways, maybe listen and respectively challenge their thinking when you can and give eachother space and room to grow as people…

[tallbluelady]

And she struck with such a force it made the Destroyer quake!

[labelleizzy]

Just embarrassed myself at the polling station because had my writing notebook out and my polling station lead saw my notes about Bitty and Kent being dirty dirty kinky boys

😳👉👈🥺

[rohirric-hunter]

Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my actions again

[punkinspice]

If you don't mind my asking, are you still Christian? I have seen your posts over time about leaving cults and whatnot, and I was curious how that impacted your faith.

Hello! I don't mind you asking at all, and I am happy to talk about it, it's just that it's a very touchy, complicated, controversial and long answer that I don't always know how to answer it in a way that makes sense. (this may get really deep)

If I were to be 100% honest, I will admit that I personally no longer believe in or identify with being a Christian or the Christian faith.

As to what I believe in currently, or what I'd call myself now? I really don't have an answer to that. I guess you could say I'm currently leaning more towards being an agnostic and sometimes atheist? But honestly, the things I may agree with today, may change tomorrow. and I'm sure the things I will believe in currently will be completely changed in a year. And.... I am ok with that. I want to be questioning and to have an open mind to things, opinions and questions and to have the permission to be wrong and to change my mind on things as I learn new or more information.

This is not a choice that I've come to easily, or glibly. It's been a process I've been in the past 3 maybe 4 years of my life, and I think in the last year is when I've chosen to leave the faith. It's a place I never thought I would be in and it's involved a lot of pain, confusion and trauma and healing in my life. There is a whole ton more I could go more deeply into, but I don't feel this is the right post to do that, and I don't quite have words yet to explain or describe everything.

As far as the cult thing goes, there were and are a lot ways that I was raised and taught to believe in, that by definition, was a cult. There were a lot things that were abusive and still traumatize and cut into me deeply and I am in the process of recovering from and untangling the things that were taught to me and it still brings up a lot of trauma for me, of which I am thankfully getting help for.

I also joined a well known Christian organization around the age of 21/22, and was in it for over 2 years, until Covid hit and I had to go home. And the more time I was out and after a ton of research and studying, I will be honest and say that that organization is a cult, and it did leave a lot of mental and financial wounds on me that I am going to be recovering from for a long time. Did I learn a lot from that experience and grow from it? Yes I did, but it is an experience and chapter of my life that I am glad is over.

I know that from the short examples that I've given it's really easy to say that that really wasn't true Christianity, or it was just people poorly misrepresenting the word and love of God, or worse, blaming me and saying that I was never a Christian to begin with, which I can't even begin to explain how much and how deeply into the faith I truly was, and how hurtful that allegation is.

...And maybe all of that is true... And maybe it isn't....

There is a lot of pain, betrayal, anger and grief that I am still healing from and will be healing from for years to come. I don't want to live in a state of bitterness and anger and blame of the things that were done to me. But I also want to admit and be honest about the wrongs that were done to me and the abuse that was done to me in the name of Love.

I need time and separation, but mostly I need love and understanding. It's one of the most painful and isolating experiences I've ever gone through in my life, and so utterly earth shattering and life changing and most of the time you can't even talk to your family or friends about it because you are so afraid of the way they will react and what they will take away from you.

A lot of this is very surface level of my journey through this "deconstruction" of faith if that's what you want to call it. There's so much more that I could go in depth in, but again I don't always have the words or mental fortitude to really get into a lot of things.

If you still have questions I'll try my best to answer. I know this is a really sad and hard thing for a lot of people to hear, and yeah.

It is sad. It's devastating.

There are days I wish could go back to the way it was, or that I could fully go back into the faith.... but I can't. And, despite the excruciating pain and grief that I've been going through, I ironically feel so much more freedom and peace than I ever did in religion. Which I know is hard to comprehend... it's hard for me to explain.

I'm sorry for the ramble and the heaviness. But I guess now's as good a time as any to finally admit this about myself and where I am at.

My final thought is to please have so much grace and understanding to people in your life who are going through a similar process to me. If you have friends or family in this same process, please just be kind to them. They didn't ask for any of this, and many times these doubts and questions came from things out of their control, and they're simply trying and surviving the best they can. There is so much pain there that I'm sure they haven't expressed to you because they are afraid of losing everyone and everything that they love, simply because they do not believe in the same thing anymore. So just love them, and hold space for them and don't argue or defend, as that will only push them away further. And also be open to them. They may have very important and valid insights to things that you may have become blind to. If you really believe in a loving, kind and gracious God then he would be doing those things for these people 10 fold.

[dhampiravidi]

stages of hell (lust); TV version

going into a show thinking "eh, it's something to watch"

you weren't even that interested (it was rec'd by a friend)

the MC & their love interest seem nice

you start finding "evidence" aka reasons to ship the MC/their friend

you ship the friend/SC* even more

you start crushing HARD on the friend who's your fave character

you start shipping the friend/SC/yourself

[feel free to tag the ship and/or show if this or something similar has happened to you...I know I'm not the only one!]

*SC = side character

[the-kipsabian]

aight im looking at my wip list rn (like actual work i have started so far)