#oof this took longer than expected

[kogratorm]

QSMP's Candidates Statements (Translated)

From QuackityToo June 19th Stream.

DISCLAIMER: My native language is Brazilian Portuguese, not Spanish nor English. Due to that and the differences in language expression, I made some changes/paraphrases while translating to accommodate the context, but the overall understanding remains 98% loyal to each candidate’s speech.

BadBoyHalo

BBH proposes that he is the only person capable of carrying out the necessary decisions that the president of Quesadilla Island must take. He believes he is the only one who has the courage to make the difficult decisions necessary to keep the island safe and sound for the residents and prevent a dictator from taking power, all while protecting the eggs.

Foolish

Foolish is excited about the opportunity that the island has provided. He says he wants to enjoy and make the most of the situation because it's not every day that you end up on a crazy island with a diverse population speaking a variety of languages. Some people would prefer to get out of here [Quesadilla] as soon as possible, but he wants to make friends with everyone and enjoy everything the island has to offer.

Etoiles

Etoiles stated that he is charismatic, generous, and that the only negativity he carries is for himself and never for others. Etoiles sets out to explore the island in order to better understand the environment of where they are; he will visit as many dungeons as he needs to get a better understanding of the island.

Baghera

Baghera stated that she has her head screwed on the right way and wishes only the best for the islanders. She values communication and maintains positive relationships with everyone. Baghera believes she is capable of dealing with any fervor or rash situations that may arise. Quesadilla Island is where she was introduced to motherhood, and as a result, she has a specific goal. The place that gave her family and friends is one she must protect at all costs.

Felps

Felps work(ed) as a shipping officer, bus driver, artist, and gardener. What he wants to do is make everyone happy by giving more rights to eggs, noodles, and pasta.

Forever

Forever stated that he is one of the most active players on the island, and as such, he will always be there to protect the people's interests. As a professional Minecraft player, he has many ideas for community projects. Forever describes Richarlyson as one of the happiest things that has happened to him, as well as meeting all of the island's inhabitants (despite the fact that the French make a lot of noise at the egg hotel), given how everyone is very friendly and entertaining.

Mike

Mike promised to restore order to Quesadilla Island, his favorite aspect of the island being the islanders themselves. He would forbid the use of waystones, which would improve the island's dynamics by forcing players to build paths between their bases, allowing them to finally implement a railroad train system.

Cellbit

Cellbit has had prior work experience as a tribute (HG), murderer, prisoner, and detective. He claimed to be Roier's husband, capable of making eloquent arguments and pose intricate inquiries in various scenarios and circumstances. In summary, he believes he is a good president for the Island's future, both for introducing new creative ideas and new narratives to other content creators, as well as for protecting the eggs. His husband, son, and friends are his most valuable things on the island.

Gegg

I swear this isn’t bad translated; it is literally what has been said.

Gegg said he's a businessman, going door to door Gegging. He's a Geggwar criminal. He is an influencer of the family lifestyle. Gegg changes the world. What Gegg likes most about Quesadilla Island is the humidity, the damp places and caves. Gegg promises you freedom. Gegg promises the truth. Gegg promises you power. Gegg promises the abolition of all government rules, taxes and any existing laws. The government establishment holds us, so Gegg will release us. Just one geggrule: believe in Gegg, because Gegg believes in you.

El Quackity

His speech is about his character as well as the election scenario (from the perspective of a Content Creator, not a character). I decided to put it all together because it was somewhat scrambled and also because it was an important reminder for the community.

According to ElQuackity, there is a lack of organization and order. He believes that in the ideal scenario, this can be resolved. He believes that his candidacy in this work and position is critical, and that it will be the best possible. One thing to be clear about it: during his campaign, he will do whatever it takes to ensure that the people have a good president. Thus, he reminds and states that this election event isn’t predetermined, scripted, or planned, and there is no pre-written ending. Elections will be decided by the votes of creators, the efforts of creators, and the votes of the community. He warns that if If he decides to kill a candidate or an egg because it suits his political campaign, he will do so. And, if another candidate decides to kill him for their own benefit, it will be done. No one (except the creators) can say anything to encourage another narrative. We, as a community, need to understand that none of the creators will truly hate each other if one decides to attack the other or kill the other for their own campaign benefit. He encourages the community to support their favorite candidate, but if a creator decides to do something bad to another creator within the game at any time, those who send hate towards creators for actions taken by players in game will be rightfully banned and restricted from all QSMP chat streams. It is, after all, a game. It's a block game. The decisions made within the game will be made by the creators themselves. If the creators ever have a disagreement, it will be solved in private DMs. And nothing bad will ever happen because all the QSMP members are adults who understand that this is all for entertainment purposes. The QSMP Elections ARE for entertainment purposes ONLY.

[countlessimpossibilities]

Kokonui and Bajifuyu Fankids!

Ngl I procrastinated A LOT to choose their names lol

Kokonoi Masami:

-Since Koko have dark hair and eyes but Inupi have light hair and eyes, had to make them with a mix of the two

-They have a pretty stoic face, but likes to tells jokes, so they might get a bit misunderstood

-Koko's eye shape with Inui's long lashes is definitely a good combination

Baji Aoi:

-I mean, both Chifuyu and Baji have blue as their signature color. Aoi is the perfect name

-Of course Aoi's into cats.

-The Baji's genetics seems pretty strong (I mean, look at Ryoko and Keisuke. They're basically copies of each other.) But Aoi have Chifuyu's facial features (nose, eye shape, cheeks, etc.)

[whattraintracks]

I wasn't really looking forward to anything going into High Potential 1.05 "Croaked" because, honestly, HPI 1.04 "Phyllobates Terribilis" is an episode I'm kind of meh about. After re/watching both and writing this, I appreciate them more, though.

Thoughts and comparisons below.

Things unique to "Croaked" that I liked:

Karadec to Morgan: "I am not listening to you for the rest of the day" (later) "I am still not talking to you"

"I know it kinda doesn't seem like it right now, but I do feel really bad about shooting you" Morgan says hardly bothering to conceal her laughter

Oz using the nickname Daph (as Karadec did in 1.04) highlights how familiar these three are with each other

I don't remember Daphné having any particular desire to emulate Karadec in HPI. I'm interested to see what they do with that here

Karadec, referring to the number of dates he goes on: "I cast nets"

Karadec, after Morgan swipes his phone: "You have exactly one second before I arrest you for theft" (and the look he gives her, my guy, please chill out) ((but also don't this is so funny))

I'm happy we got to see Fernanda reunited with Rodney!!

Morgan and Ava's conflict was a sweet demonstration of their relationship and the effects of Morgan getting emotionally invested in a case or, more accurately, in the lives of those involved. This time, it helped her, but I hope we continue to see the effects/toll this takes on her

Things "Croaked" did differently that I liked:

this is the first remade episode with a name change that I really like. It's both clever and easier to remember lol

clearly showing Morgan walk past and notice the dart gun on the wall and that the tank has one frog in it but nametags for two

Karadec turning to stare at Morgan in shock and betrayal just before he collapses

GIVING OZ THE COMIC BOOK PHOTOFIT SCENE T^T THAT'S SO CUTE

establishing Céline is a mom is something I wish HPI had done earlier, so I'm glad it's been brought up between Selena and Morgan a couple of times now

Daphne and Oz having a more visible contribution throughout the episode, even if it's weird (not bad, just different) seeing Daphne in the field

the 'we investigated different clues but ended up in the same place at the same time' trope is one of my favorites, and I like that all four ended up together again

Morgan bursting into the salon, declaring, "Bethany, you lied to us!"

Karadec's face is so cool to watch once Oz shows Nathan the book. The way you can tell he can tell something is up with the sudden confession

in HPI, Karadec is the one who wants to keep working on the case that night, is baffled Morgane leaves, and actually remains at the station after everyone. In this version, well, allow me to sum it up:

Karadec, trying to go home: Yeah, well, like I said, let's just dive back in on Monday Morgan, her eyes enormous: you tell morgan to WAIT? you tell her look with fresh eyes MONDAY? oh! oh! jail for karadec! jail for karadec for One Thousand Years!!!!

from the date: Karadec not seeming too bothered by the interruption, Ava asking before stealing his food, Morgan's "I thought we agreed that we were only gonna splurge on hookers as a couple?", the partners/not partners banter, and how quickly he and his date get into Morgan's revelations

the flip flops during the robbery detail and the ear dimples, since those are more likely to be genetic than the way one folds their thumbs

the grandma getting to meet her grandson!

something I didn't love so much was Oz saying "Or I'm so good, I got an innocent man to confess" like

Things I'm glad they kept from "Phyllobates Terribilis":

Morgan/e putting the very-out-of-it Karadec in timeout at the salon while she interviews the friend

Oz/Gilles' love of treats and snacks, plus his overall silliness and kindness

Daphne/é's tech-savvy and tendency to condescend a little

Karadec and Morgan/e feeling sure the case isn't over but for different reasons (the confession v. the karate photo)

Karadec continuing to manage Morgan/e's expectations (as seen in his original "welcome to my job" and new "hate to tell you, but it's like that a lot" in response to her frustration about the case's ending. I love this aspect of their early partnership. Karadec who's learned to shield himself emotionally v. Morgan/e getting invested in everyone they encounter in a case. She calls him heartless. He calls her ridiculous, but still tries to warn and shield her <3)

Things not included from "Phyllobates Terribilis" that I miss:

Dr. Bonnemain! Though I don't miss Morgane flirting with him

Karadec's allergies and the equally hilarious bit where Gilles lists all of them

Morgane shooting Karadec without warning (and in the butt)

Gilles pulling his gun on Morgane after this (could've had Daphne do it to emphasise her respect for Karadec? 🤔)

Morgane promising to take Karadec home safely; cut to her driving his car like a maniac, sirens running, and music way too loud

still in timeout, Karadec very seriously asking about the nail polish color (which would've been a BRILLIANT callback to 1.02!!)

High Potential missed the opportunity to name Bethany Beatrice or something, so it would fit with bees like Camille fits with Camellias

Karadec's little "Ha. Ha. Ha." when Céline finds him on the stairs and asks about his butt

also his insistence that Morgane didn't save his life

a ton of development on Romain's case! Actually, if they cut those scenes to take a different course or at least take their time with this plot, I won't be upset

Eliott, Albert, and Théa helping Morgane find the bad reviews

Karadec not taking Morgane to check out the second apartment because he wants to be discreet

then he says it feels good to work in peac—HONK it's Morgane! She's already here! Staking out! Would you like to join her in the very red car she just drew attention to? She brought beers!

Morgane noticing the realtor's pen at the vet clinic and the second apartment

Morgane picking up lunch for her and Karadec, switching the phone to speaker every time he changes it back, her soda exploding, him putting the call on speaker after all, her little HAH! when he does, and her stealing his laptop. They're work spouses

from the date: Ranir's, the kids sneaking Karadec's food, his exasperated "Alvaro" x3 then very exasperated "Morgane," his date staring at him to nonverbally commiserate but he's not even paying attention to her anymore bc he's sucked back into the case

Karadec's interrogation of Camille: his barely concealed anger that she's letting her husband take the fall, "there's no such thing as the perfect husband, but that man loves you" (which could've tied into the scene where Nathan explains to Oz why he falsely confessed)

the soundtrack! Rewatching this episode reminded me how much I love the motifs and character themes

[narukoibito]

Prompt 15!!!!!!! (That might have been a touch too enthusiastic)

Too enthusiastic? Never!

Prompt 15: Stargazing together. A is actually smart and points out constellations, B just points up at the sky every so often and says, "That one looks like a penis" or something along those lines

-

"What's the name of the ziggy one?"

"Cassiopeia," Ginny said immediately, tracking it on her star chart.

"Well done," Harry said, impressed. He grinned, leaning over to watch her write. His presence beside her made her warm and soft inside despite the occasional brisk evening wind up in the Astronomy tower. "How do you remember all of these?"

"Not all of us just putz around with our studies," she teased, knowing it would just make him smile. "That one's easy. It reminds me of you, actually."

"Oh?" He looked at her, curiosity shining in his eyes.

"If you tilt your head, it looks a bit like a lightening." She used to wistfully looking at the sky, seeing things that reminded her of him when her crush was all-consuming.

"Think about me, do you?" he teased.

Always.

"Careful," she warned. "You'll give me another reason for Cassiopeia to remind me of you."

"What's that?"

"Your hubris."

Harry let out a puff of laughter. She grinned.

"Fitting, Potter. I bet you think all the stars are about you," Ginny mimicked Snape's waspish drawl. He laughed hard.

Harry leaned back, smiling up at the night sky. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, an old habit even though now she could look at him without pretending that she wasn't. He always seemed to be smiling these days, his posture relaxed and at ease. Her heart skipped at the thought that maybe she had a little bit to do with that.

He pointed up at the sky. "That one looks like a penis."

She burst out laughing. "You're supposed to be helping revise!"

"Who came up with that bright idea?"

Ginny snorted. He grinned back cheekily.

"Hermione'll have your hide if you make me fail my exams," she reminded him.

"Nah," he said, his shoulder brushing against hers. "You're too smart for that." He tapped on her parchment. "What is the name of the penis constellation?"

"Gemini."

They fell into rhythm, taking turns guessing first or trying to make each other laugh. ("Blegh, Draco." "Looks like a sperm." "Or micropenis.")

"And that one...er," Ginny paused. They hand landed on a big cluster of stars that was incredibly familiar, but the name seemed to elude her.

"Orion," Harry said.

"Yes," she said, glancing at him in surprise, but his gaze remained focused at the night sky. The humor in his face had faded to something more somber, even a little lost.

She bit her lip and scooted closer, which seemed to draw him out of his brief reverie. He gave her small smile before averting his gaze, suddenly seeming interested in her star chart.

"What about Orion?" she asked, her voice light as she wrote down the name.

Harry hummed. For a moment, she didn't think he would say go on. "Orion. That was Sirius's dad's name."

Ginny scrunched up her nose. "Purebloods and their need to immortalize themselves with such names."

He laughed, humorless. "Yes."

She squinted up at the sky. When she found what she was looking for, she pointed with her quill. "There."

He followed where she indicated. He turned to her, his smile soft. The blue light from the stars above glinted against his wire-rim glasses. "Yeah."

His green eyes flickered down to her lips, his hand covering hers.

"Do you...think you've done enough revising?" he breathed.

Ginny smiled and leaned in, her heart warm and full. "I thought you'd never ask."

[anathemafiction]

Inflation prices

Hosted Games is going to raise the price of all of their games on January 19th — it's been years, but it seems inflation has caught up with them. This won't affect newer releases much, like the Rose, but it may have a pretty substantial price increase in some of the older titles. 

The Golden Rose will go up 15% percent — so if you want to buy it, now's the time to do it! Outside of Steam sales, it'll never be this low price again.

However, some old gems will have bigger price changes, and I wanted to take this opportunity to shine some light on a few of my old favorite HG games. If the summaries interest you, give the free demos a try!

(I'll be linking the COG page, where you can find the links to Steam, Google Play, the App Store, and Amazon at the bottom of the screen).

Tin Star (50% price increase) — Step into the shoes of a US marshal in the old, wild west. It's a very big game, full of hard decisions and a great cast of characters (Preston, you cocky bastard, I love you). You can be a terrible person, a saint, or anything in between. 

Zombie Exodus (60% increase) — Try to survive a zombie apocalypse. There are dangerous missions to navigate, complicated power dynamics between survivors, and, of course, friends and lovers to remind you what it is you're fighting for. This is an old game, but it was one of the first IFs I read, and to this day the story and characters hold a special place in my heart. 

Zombie Exodus: Safe Haven (40%) — This one isn't really an old game, but I want to include it since the price increase is still substantial and, if you enjoy the first ZE, you will LOVE this. The author took everything from the first game and made it better. You can see how much he has improved. From customization (it's mind-blowing), to relationships, to writing atmospheres - I was legitimately scared in some parts! Plus, the different prologues are so good and... just try it! I adore this game so much. 

Way Walkers: University (40%) — Play as a student in a prestigious magic school. The magic system is super interesting, as is the world at large. But, by far, the best thing about this game and its sequel are the characters. It has one of my favorite ROs in any IF games, Semryu, and the way your friendship develops into a tentative romance is so well done. There's also mystery and tension, and I cannot wait for Book 3! 

Double/Cross (60%) — Okay, I'll admit: I don't remember a lot about this game. It's been years since I read it, but I do remember, however, really liking it! You work as a bodyguard for the richest man in England, and not everything is as it seems. I like it because it subverts your expectations, and when I got my "happy ending" I... did not feel happy at all. It's really interesting and not very long, so I encourage everyone to give it a try!

So, You're Possessed! (50%) — Oh, how to explain this game? You start as a pizza delivery person, and then you meet a demon and your life is thrown upside down. It's been years since I've played it but it has always remained a special little gem. I don't want to spoil the story too much, so just give it a try!

Evertree Inn (40%) — Again, not exactly old, but I think the price increase warrants it on the list. I also think most of you are familiar with the game and its sequels, but I want to mention it anyway. Solve a mystery in a secluded tavern and watch out for the murderer! You can play as a number of fantasy races — dwarf, elf, etc— and interact with a cast of colorful characters. It's just such a fun game, and it leads to a great adventure in the sequel. 

Fallen Hero: Rebirth (40%) — Okay, okay, I know. You all have the game already plus, it isn't technically "old". Well, may this serve as an announcement that Fallen Hero is about to get 40% more expensive, and if by some chance some of you haven't played it yet, you should absolutely do so now. The sequel is coming, and it's held as one of the best IFs ever published. A reputation that, in my opinion, is more than deserved. 

Happy reading! I hope you find at least one game that'll bring you joy.♡

[s0fter-sin]

Chapters: 16/? Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Dabi | Todoroki Touya, Midoriya Izuku & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Midoriya Izuku, Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi Characters: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Dabi | Todoroki Touya, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Midoriya Izuku, Shinsou Hitoshi, Tsukauchi Naomasa, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Iida Tensei | Ingenium, Nedzu (My Hero Academia) Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Case Fic, Deaf Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Villain Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead | Dadzawa, Past Child Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Found Family, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Fights, Fist Fights, Hurt/Comfort, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic-centric, Hurt Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, no beta we die like sir nighteye Summary:

Hizashi is spiralling; his hero career is on the brink of collapse, no radio station will give him a shot and he isn’t sure how much more he can take.

When people start turning up beaten half to death, they lead him to an underground quirk fighting ring. Could it be the big break he needs to save his career or will the mysterious Referee show him something better?

[starryserenade]

Myth and Magic: Prologue

Description: When Tir na NÓg--the fabled land of the fae--falls to a dark power, the destinies of two young mice are set in motion. As each struggle to make their way in an ever-darkening world, they must learn to trust one another, or risk forever losing that which they hold most dear.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44709304/chapters/112488658

Next Chapter: Coming Soon

Ribbons of twilight stretched along the sky, streaming through the clouds to make way for the first layer of stars to breach the horizon. The pink hue settled on the ground below in glowing pools mixed alongside seas of grass. Sailing over them were two horses and their riders, cutting through the breeze with ripples of fabric trailing behind them. Though the expanse that surrounded them was clear and green, it was towards a darker place they rode—a forest that seemed to divide the world in two, with trees whose branches grasped at the light outside its borders.  

As the riders neared this stark divide, the horses whinnied and reared up, flaring their nostrils in defiance and nearly throwing their masters from their backs. Skillfully, the two maneuvered the reins and managed to calm their steers, coming to a halt at the foot of the forest.

One of the two-a mouse dressed in a soft, green dress-slid off first. She was tiny, not even three feet tall, and so had a ways to travel when she leapt to the ground. This, however, did nothing to deter her grace. Her slippers landed on the grass with barely a sound as the streams of fabric round her dress fluttered about her ankles. Her friend was a bit less subtle, and looking to see there were no others about, undid the outer layer of dress so as to move about more freely, then jumped to the earth with a thud. As she brushed her skirt and corset off, the mouse cast her a glare and placed her hands on her hips.

“Really, Daisy?”

“What?” The duck glared back. “This is your party, not mine. I’m just here because you so desperately wanted me to meet your mysterious suitor. Besides, if there are any other handsome fairy bachelors, who am I to deny them a good view?” She scoffed sarcastically, landing the point with a decided shake of her tail feathers. 

At this, the mouse’s frustrated look shifted into one of disappointment. “You still don’t believe me, do you?” She muttered.

Daisy, who had not meant any real harm, realized how her words had struck, “Well, I…” she sighed, then continued. “Listen, Minnie, it’s just…they’re fairies. Heavens forbid I don’t believe they exist–’course they do–but you’ve heard the stories. They’re tricky. They can make you think and feel all manner of things that aren’t-”

“True?” Minnie interrupted, lifting an eyebrow. “I’m not blinked if that’s what you’re trying to say.” She fiddled with the fabric of her dress and looked into the shadows of the forest, letting out a soft puff of air. “I know what it must look like, but…I’ve never felt this way before. Not about anyone. My whole life I’ve done nothing but what’s been asked of me, but right now I have the chance to make a choice of my own. If I go back to the castle tonight…if I go through with what they want me to do…I’ll lose that chance forever.”

They were both quiet for a moment, then Daisy chuckled and threw up her hands in surrender. “Okay, I admit it, you’ve got me there.  Even if we do get trapped forever in the dark and unforgiving depths of the fae realm, it’s better than spending the rest of your life with Mortimer.”

“Oh, I knew you’d understand!” Minnie laughed, a wide smile gracing her face as she flung herself into a hug. 

Daisy just grinned and playfully rolled her eyes, then the two turned to face the forest together.  By now, the sky was a darkening shade of velvet blue and moonlight had begun to peak out from behind the clouds.  “Sooo…” Daisy started, clicking her beak. “How are we supposed to find this fairy land of yours?”

From somewhere within the forest, an owl screeched, and Minnie turned to answer her friend with a wink.  “Just follow me, got it?” Ignoring Daisy’s incredulous look, she pulled something from her pocket-an emerald figure of intertwining knots–and held it to her lips. She let out a soft, indiscernible whisper as she breathed against the crystal  then lifted it to the sky. A beam of moonlight landed on its surface and sparkled in the center, and for a moment, it was as if all sound and motion had escaped from the earth. Then the light within the figure ran along each branch of shimmering crystalline and released a burst of light that stirred up the wind into an uproar. The leaves from the trees before them were caught up in its wake, and surrounded each of the two girls in a spiral of green. Daisy opened her beak to let out a cry of surprise, but the rushing wind carried it far from Minnie’s ears. She simply closed her eyes, smiled softly, and held her hand to her chest as the sudden storm overtook them.

When the wind had calmed a few moments later, Minnie opened her eyes and let out a gasp of joy at the sight that met them. “Daisy!” she hissed, nudging her friend who was cowering with her hands clasped over her head. 

“Is it over?” the duck squawked loudly, and Minnie laughed. 

“Just look!”

Daisy carefully opened one eye then, face struck with wonder, stood straight and took in the view. “Janey Mac…” she whispered.

It was as if time had rewound, for the sky before them was lit with twilight once again.  The line of trees had grown tenfold and seemed otherworldly, with veins of gold and silver running through their trunks and into branches that swayed with leaves of every kind of precious stone. Rivers of moonlight wove through grassy hills of auburn grass, bridges of skillfully etched opal lining a way overtop them and into paths that stretched between an endless expanse of enormous fauna–mushrooms, ferns, and lily-of-the-valleys that fluttered gently in the breeze.

Daisy took a step backwards and Minnie caught her wrist, prompting the duck to glance behind her. If the divide between the hillside and forest had been stark before, it was cavernous now. The blanket of night still covered the world from which they’d come, and there was not a hint of magic even just steps behind where they stood. 

“We’re on The Brink,” Minnie explained, and nodded towards the world ahead. “Once we enter the forest, we’ll cross over into Tir na nÓg.”

At first lost for words, the duck cast a nervous look behind her, then shrugged and let out an exasperated sigh. “Can’t well turn back now, can we?”

The mouse smiled and nodded then, each taking a deep breath, they stepped forward into the fairy plane. The world shuddered, and the place behind them was transformed, the fairy world now overtaking their entire view.

“You know…maybe getting trapped in the fairy realm wouldn’t be so bad, after all,” Daisy murmured, eyeing a rose blossom that was so bright it seemed to be made of rubies. At this, Minnie wrinkled her nose and nudged her pointedly with her elbow.

“Daisy! We can take the tour later,” the mouse scolded, then looked about her. A hint of uneasiness fell over her face as she did. “It’s strange…” she whispered.

Daisy narrowed her eyes. “What is?”

“He usually meets me here…” Her voice trailed off with a quiver of nerves. “Something’s not right.” 

“Maybe he’s just running late?” Daisy prompted distractedly.

“No. No, he wouldn’t be. Not today. This was…well…” She wrung her hands then flicked her tail, flashing a smile. “Nevermind. I’m sure you’re right.

But Daisy’s curiosity had been piqued, and was not easily quelled.  “No, wait. What were you going to say?”

“It doesn’t matter.” The mouse waved off the question. “Let’s get on, the palace isn’t far. If he’s not here, that’s where he’ll be.” She ushered the reluctant duck away from a glittering patch of diamond-crested bluebells. The path they took led them through thicker foliage, and all manner of mystic creatures began to appear from within the shadows, eyes glittering as they watched the two mortal visitors. Minnie walked ahead, the glass amulet clutched in her hands, unphased by their watchers. Daisy, on the other hand, moved with ruffled feathers, nervously glancing at everything that moved. 

“So…” she spoke eventually, breaking the deafening silence and jogging to catch up with Minnie, who had been uncharacteristically quiet. “All the time I’ve known you, and you’ve never once mentioned this prince of yours.”

Minnie cast her an empty glance, as if she’d just been shaken from deep within her thoughts, then, realizing what had been asked, giggled lightly and slid the amulet back into a pocket of her dress. “You may be my best friend, but you’re horrible at keeping secrets. The whole clan would’ve known by morning.”

Daisy gasped in mock offense, and opened her mouth to argue then closed it just as quick and shrugged. “Right, fair. But…” She bounded in front of Minnie and batted her eyelashes. “I know now, so you might as well tell me everything. Like…where and how did you meet?”

A light breeze fluttered through the ferns and the canopy above their heads, sending a whirlwind of jasper leaves down on them. Minnie looked up through the vortex, the dappled light dancing upon her muzzle. “When I was younger,” she breathed, just loud enough to be heard above the river they were following. “Father used to take me into the forest and tell me stories about the fae who lived there. About how they cared for all the lost and broken things of this world, and could turn sorrow into sadness. He said they would protect me too, so long as I believed. But when he fell ill…” The mouse’s tail had fallen into a sorrowful lull, and she walked several steps in silence before taking another breath. “Mortimer blamed the fairies. You remember, don’t you? He had snares placed all around the forest.”

“We thought him mad,” snorted Daisy. “And he never caught a thing.”

“Not mad, just wicked,” Minnie snarled, then lowered her voice. “But he did. Once.”

Daisy stopped in her tracks, mouth gaping open. “No!” she gasped, dumbfounded. “You ’don’t mean-”

Minnie nodded. “The night father died–the same night I learned of my fate to be married to that slimy gaimbín –I went back to the forest, to the place father had first taken me when I was young. That’s where I found…him. His wing had been twisted in one of Mortimer’s iron nets. And the cruel thing…it was killing him. So of course I cut him loose, and-” She paused and bit her lip, trying to form words for something she wasn’t quite sure how to describe. “Oh, Daisy,” she murmured, face flushing a deep red. “I’d not met him once in my life but the moment I saw those eyes, I was certain I knew him. It was like all of father’s stories had come to life right in front of me.” 

Her tail ribboned behind her in pure bliss, until she caught sight of Daisy staring at her with a dumbstruck look in her eyes. “Er…sorry,” she mumbled, tucking a tuft of fur behind her ear. “I suppose I got a bit carried away there.”

But Daisy simply burst into a fit of laughter, swiping an amused stream of tears from her cheek with one hand and leaning up against a table-sized mushroom with the other. 

“Well, you don’t have to be rude about it!’ Minnie snapped, firmly planting her hands on her hips.

“No, no, no,” the duck wheezed, struggling to catch her breath. “It’s just…all those days I caught you acting pure ossified without a sniff of juice about you…it all makes sense now! You were in love!”

At this, Minnie blushed an even darker shade of crimson.. “Wha-?! Was I that obvious?” 

“You’re lucky everyone thinks you’re so sweet, else it would have been clear as crystal you were up to something…either that, or you’d been blinked.  You had me fooled for a bit!”

Groaning, Minnie buried her face in her hands and took up a brisk pace, pushing a tall clump of crimson ferns out of their way. “Ugh, let’s just keep walking,” 

“Hey, wait! One more thing!” panted Daisy as she pulled herself together just enough to keep up. “Why now? What’s so special about this visit that you wanted to take me with you?”

“Well…” the girl fiddled with the fabric of her skirt before looking over her shoulder with a nervous grin and a hesitant reply. “You’ll see.”

She did not give Daisy a chance to respond, and instead darted ahead, weaving through a luminescent clump of mushrooms and moss. “We’re nearly there!” She called. “Keep up!” Minnie’s countenance had shifted quite suddenly, and her nervousness from before seemed to have melted into a joyful excitement the further they pushed through the forest.  Fairy creatures were not the only ones watching now, for the fae are drawn to pleasure and happiness, and so the fairies themselves had begun to emerge from their hiding places. Tiny pixies with light of all colors crept out from behind the flora to join in a glittering dance. Several druids, their bodies made entirely from wood–aspen, cedar, and pine–shook their heads in awakening and scattered leaves from their crowns. And elven-looking folk with wide, feathered wings and twisted horns peered at the girls from the tops of the trees. 

Following the river, Minnie bounded over stones with a carefree essence that had been reserved for far too long, only glancing behind her every now and then to be sure Daisy was still following. She was, though not without a few unfortunate splashes in the shallow waves. As they progressed, the river narrowed until it was little more than a small stream. And at the end of its reach, its waters branched out into a lake filled with glittering stars. Daisy gasped and Minnie smiled as it came into view, for at its center lay a palace unlike any on the mortal plane.  It was not a castle made of brick and stone, but an enormous oak tree with branches that reached far past the clouds and a trunk whose size surpassed even some mortal cities. Magic swirled up and down its bark, and thousands of tiny lights twinkled within its leafy canopy. 

As they approached, two fairies, each about the same size as the girls, came swooping down to meet them, scattering an array of feathers across the shoreline.  “His Majesty awaits you,” they spoke in unison, then parted and gestured towards the lake. The waters split immediately, creating a clear path towards the tree. 

“There’s no need for formalities!” Minnie laughed, waving at the guards as though they were old friends. But they did not say a word, and simply side-eyed each other when she spoke. Awkwardly, Minnie rubbed her arm and moved along towards the new pathway, gesturing for Daisy to follow. “Right then…” she mumbled. “That was strange.”

“Did you know them?” Asked Daisy, flashing a wink back at one of the guards who, though visibly confused, proceeded to blush profusely.

“Yes, quite well,” she replied breathlessly, a flash of worry striking her eyes as they passed through the waters and disappeared from view. “They didn’t seem to recognize me though, did they?”

“Not a bit.”

They walked in silence for a moment, but when the base of the tree came into view, Minnie paused and pursed her lips. Looking left and right, she pulled the amulet from her dress and held it out to her friend. “I want you to keep this for me,” she whispered. “I trust the prince with my life, but something doesn’t seem right. If anything happens, you must keep this safe.”

“If something happens?” Daisy stared at the amulet then at her friend. “What do you mean, ‘if something ha-”

But before she could finish, the sound of a creaking doorway was heard, and the massive wooden gate cracked open.  Minnie shoved the amulet in Daisy’s palm, and whipped forward to face the doorway head on. “Hide it!” she hissed under her breath, prompting Daisy to shove the emerald figure in her corset.  “And if anyone offers you something to eat, do not take it.”

Minnie stepped forward and bowed lightly to each guard as she stepped into the castle. Daisy clumsily followed suit, happening  to look up at one of the guards as she did. They were far different than those from across the lake, their faces concealed behind dark masks that made them seem more like shadows than fae. Daisy shuddered, flirtatious countenance instantly dissolved, and followed Minnie inside as quickly as she could.

The moment they crossed the threshold, the door behind them vanished, and they found themselves seated in a brightly lit banquet hall. The room was made of twisted pillars of wood, each flecked with diamonds that caused the light to bounce off them in a dreamlike gleam. Fairies of all kinds laughed and danced around the table at which they were sat, its surface littered with all manner of tantalizing dishes. And at the back of the hall, up a flight of stairs, an empty throne sat overlooking the revelry.  Minnie was too busy staring at this throne to notice when Daisy reached for a crimson glass of wine, and by the time she had turned around, her friend was holding an empty glass.

“Daisy!” she cried out. “What did I tell you?”

“What?” The duck rolled her eyes, then flashed a curious wink, and Minnie couldn’t help but notice that her own glass was suddenly twice as full as the others. “You said not to eat anything.”

Before Minnie could argue, a fairy in an elegant hooded robe had approached them from behind and held out another glass filled to the brim, which Daisy quickly snatched. At first glance, Minnie’s heart leaped, for dressed in royal robes she had only ever seen one fairy wear, she was certain this fae was the one for which she had waited.  But then she caught a glimpse at the wings to his back and in that moment, her breath might as well have left her. Before he had even removed his hood, she had stood, slamming her palms down on the table so that it shook the glassware and nearly toppled her own cup. “Who are you?” she hissed, face as red as the wine on the table. 

The ballroom silenced. For just as much as the fae adore revelry, they despise anger and sadness. But the mysterious fairy looked at her, calm and collected, without a hint of surprise on his face. “Princess,” he chuckled. “You came all the way to Tir na nÓg, and don’t even know when the king himself is serving you?”

At this, she drew back, then leaned in with a scowl on her face. “The fairy realm has no king,” she spat. “Not yet. That was going to change today.” She held his stare as she spoke, eyeing his every feature with distrust. He was short, even smaller than she was, save for the rabbitlike ears atop his head which added at least a foot to his height.  Despite this, there was a bitter pridefulness about him, and he did nothing but laugh despite his accusation. 

“You’re mistaken, though you shouldn’t be blamed. The fae realm can do all sorts of things to a mortals’ mind.”

At this, Minnie scoffed and whirled around to face the rest of the fairies in the hall. “You all know me!” She cried. “And I know that this-’ she gestured to the fairy “king”. “-is not the prince you all care for! Don’t you remember?”

The fairies all glanced at one another but showed no signs of recognition, and looked at Minnie with empty eyes. Seeing them, Minnie took a step back against the table, her shoulders slumping. “What’s wrong with  them?”

The king’s sneer melted into a snarl, and he stepped closer to the mouse, the broken horn atop his head gleaming like a shattered dagger. “Your prince does not exist here, and he never has. My advice to you? Follow your friend’s lead,” He gestured to Daisy, who seemed to have downed another glass of wine. “Eat, drink, be merry! Then wake in the morning and let this place become nothing more than a distant dream.”

Minnie glanced at Daisy, then back at the king.

This time, a dark shadow fell across his eyes, and he lowered his voice so that no others could hear. “I know why you came here,” he growled. “The lovestruck princess so desperate to escape her fate that she would abandon friends and kingdom alike just for a chance at freedom..”

“That’s not-” she gasped, taken aback by his claims.

“Oh, please,” he countered sharply. “You know it is. And you know what?” he leaned in, speaking even more hushed than before. “If your prince ever did exist, I’d say he made the same mistake.”

Minnie’s eyes widened, pools of fear and heartache as she realized what his words implied. “What have you done to him?” she choked, her breaths quickening.

“Oh, it’s all right, though,” the rabbit continued. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving you with such painful memories. Fairies have their own, special way of dealing with unpleasant emotions.” He stared at her dead on,, and past all the anger and cruelty, she could have sworn she saw pain in those eyes. “They forget.”

Minnie pushed back her chair and tried to run, but two of the shadowy fae–red eyes glittering beneath their masks–grabbed her by the wrists and kept her from moving an inch, no matter how she writhed.

Seeing this, Daisy rose from her seat, reaching for a dagger that strapped to her hip. “Princess!” she called out, sounding surprisingly attentive for the number of drinks she had consumed.

“Daisy!” Minnie screeched as loud as she could. “Daisy, run!” 

“But-”

But no sooner had Daisy begun to protest than the king himself waved his hand. Her friend vanished, and the glass she had been holding crashed to the ground in a crimson pool. A look of horror flashed across her face, but the king scoffed. “She’ll be fine. Your friend will wake in her bed with a headache and no memory of where she got it–a quite common occurrence for her, I’d imagine.”

But now, even the room itself had begun to shift. Ornate walls and bright lights vanished, until they had turned to shattered stone and creeping moss.. When she blinked again, the fairy world had gone entirely, and surrounding them was nothing more than a mortal ruin–a stone castle with crumbling walls sitting atop a fog-ridden island. Minnie swallowed, looking down at the lake’s waves that lapped far below the turret on which they stood.

“Mortals have no place alongside fairies,” said the king, lifting the jewel before her eyes. “So you will forget you ever came to our realm. You will forget Tir na nÓg, and you will forget your prince.”

Taking a deep breath, he muttered some words in the fairy tongue, and a snaking thread of shadow appeared from the jewel. It rose like a plume of smoke at first, weaving aimlessly in the air. But then, slowly, it crept towards Minnie, hovering like a serpent about to strike.. “No…” she whimpered, eyes locked on the thread of magic as she tried desperately to escape the grip of her captors.

But the curse slithered forward, deaf to her pleas. And with a flick of the king’s wrist, it leapt forward and pierced her mind. She gasped, all the air driven from her body as she fell to her knees, opening her mouth to scream for a name she could no longer remember. Through the haze, she saw the king turn his head. And in that moment, she drew every ounce of her strength to pull free from the cold hands that bound her. She stumbled backwards as the fae lost their grip, but her mind was still a fog. By the time she had noticed the stone crumbling beneath her feet, it was too late. There was a rush of wind and mist, and then the icy waters of the lake surrounded her. 

The world slowed as a deep chill took hold. Minnie, too cold and too overcome by grief to fight it, let it take her. She blinked, watching as the light filtered through the top of the waves and grew ever-distant. A peace rested in the darkness, and she longed to give into it. But a greater pain lay in her heart that would not let her rest, a loneliness that called to a soul she didn’t know, but could feel. Though she fought to cling to that feeling, the waters were winning the battle. Shadow flitted at the corners of her vision, growing darker all the time.

Then a voice like a deep whisper shuddered through the waters.

Are you the one?

Minnie was silent, certain she had merely imagined the sound. But then the fog in her brain dispersed every so slightly, and the voice continued.

I see your heart. You have lost something great. 

Minnie hesitated, unsure of how, or if, she should respond.

Y-yes…but I can’t remember what. She thought at last, squinting through the water to try and catch a glimpse of the source of the noise, but it seemed to come only from her thoughts.. Can you tell me?

I cannot. The curse that binds you is great.

Then what can you do?

I can give you a second chance. There is another who seeks you, though he does not know it. 

Is he the one I’m looking for?

…You must find that out for yourself.

Bubbles had begun to rise up from the bottom of the lake, and Minnie glanced nervously beneath her. The burning in her lungs had become nearly unbearable.

What do I have to do? 

Wait. Guard these waters, and wait for his return. Do you accept my offer?

The mouse flicked her tail, desperate for air but even more desperate for answers. 

Wait? For how long? What do you mean by bound?

Do you accept? The voice repeated. 

Minnie’s vision had begun to fade once again, numbness spreading along her body as the clutches of death crept close.  

Do you accept? The voice emphasized one, final time. And Minnie, with her last bit of strength, pulled a hand to her aching heart and muttered a single word in answer.

“Yes.”

[umilily]

i'm back. (and i didn't commit murder, but it was close.)

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 29] || [Chapter 31]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.4K~ cw: injuries + recovery Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: johnny is a filthy man :) but also we love him so is that a problem? no, it's not.

Chapter 30: Playing House

It took a while, but, Simon got healthy, and John and Kyle got their soreness’ settled enough to be able to go back to work.

Johnny, however, needed a little extra TLC. Being shot in the shoulder involved a longer period of medical leave, paired with a long while of physical therapy…

And that means that he decided to make himself your problem.

The rest of the lads left on a mission a few days after being cleared and, as such, left Johnny with you. Not because the lad is incapable of looking after himself, but more so because he, himself, decided he didn’t want to be away from you.

And so, whenever you leave for work, Johnny leaves for PT, then, goes to base for a bit, mostly doing work on things that he can feasibly do without straining his left shoulder/arm… Like doing paperwork and reports, going to the gym for cardio, crunches, and leg and hip workouts… Then he comes home to you.

He goes shopping for you, cooks you dinner, cleans after the two of you, despite your insistence that he rest… But, as it turns out, Johnny isn’t good at that.

Nonetheless, the flat is cleaner than ever before, Johnny’s drawing supplies are permanently stationed on the dining room table, next to your laptop, and some of his clothes have taken a permanent spot in your closet.

And, of course, he spends every night in your bed, spooning you from behind and hiding his face in your neck while you watch tiktoks, talk, or he regale you with the most ridiculous of puns.

In a way, it’s like Johnny MacTavish is your live-in boyfriend. Or, rather, that you’re playing house with him.

You wouldn’t say you hate it. In fact, it’s quite nice to have someone staying with you all night… Johnny is a good partner, he’s helpful and chill and provides wonderful cuddles…

Though you’ve jokingly started calling him ‘Johnny Price’, because, since he hasn’t been working for a month now, he’s let his beard grow out. And he looks like Price more often than he does not.

It’s on week three of your new routine with Johnny when you’re at work, that you get a text from him:

Johnny: guess what bonnie. Johnny: [1 Video Attachment]

You definitely should’ve put on some headphones before you watched that video during work… His grunting and groaning was almost pornographic and definitely earned you a few confused/worried looks from your coworkers…

But all you could think of was how he was finally easing back into his arm/shoulder workouts, which meant he finally got cleared by his PT to do as such!

you: did you finally get cleared johnny? 🥺 Johnny: cleared at 50%. Johnny: not there yet. but soon. you: I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! 🫶🫶🫶 Johnny: thank ye bonnie  you: this calls for a celebration! Johnny: i like how ye think bonnie but im not cleared yet to be able to manhandle ye 😏 you: get ur mind out of the gutter johnny price!!!!!!!! Johnny: oof not ye still calling me that! you: ur beard is looking like his what do u expect of me! 🙄 Johnny: yer right idk what i expected. Johnny: so about this celebration. you: i was thinking we go out for dinner? Johnny: are we going to dress up nice? you: i wasn’t thinking we’d go somewhere super fancy because i do not have money johnnyyyy Johnny: oh good because i dont think i can button up a shirt my shoulder is sore 😖 you: okay then! nando’s!!! 🫶  you: and i’ll give you a shoulder rub when we get home Johnny: speaking my language bonnie.

And so that’s what you did. You went home in a hurry to shower and change, and, for once, Johnny wasn’t there, having chosen to shower and change at base.

You met up in front of the Nando’s closest to your flat and you immediately chuckled at the sight of him. Sure, he had changed, but he was still very much wearing a pair of jeans, sneakers and a grey zip-up hoodie… Although you could very obviously tell he was naked beneath the hoodie.

“Mo leannan.” He murmured in an exaggeratedly polite tone as he popped the door open for you with his good arm.

“Thank you, my good sir…” You joked, which caused you both to chuckle and shake your head.

You got inside, ordered your food and, as you talked, you site adjacent to him, right on his left side, so you could gently rub his arm with your hand.

“Do you miss the lads?” You ended up asking him as you caressed his bicep and shoulder with your hand, watching him wince a bit at it, because he felt so sore from his first workout.

“A little.” Johnny admitted as he looked toward you. “Do you miss ‘em?” He returned the question. You found yourself nodding in reply.

“Having you here is wonderful though… I… quite miss you lot when you’re all gone together. Not to mention I worry sick for you.” You admitted and pressed your lips together a bit awkwardly.

“You do?” He asked you, to which you nodded. So, he continued. “Well.. I guess I understand. I imagine my mam and sisters worry about me too… As do the Kyle and the Captain’s families.” He conceded.

“That’s actually…” You found yourself trailing off as the waiter brought you your orders and you thanked him, unboxing your food so you could dig in.

“As I was saying…” You trailed off. “That’s actually an interesting point… I feel like I know very little about you and the guys’ when it comes to your personal lives… Outside of hobbies and what you do with me.” You mused as you glanced at him as he dug into his double chicken burger one-handed.

“I don’t know much about the others myself to be honest with you.” Johnny admitted as he stole one of your chips off your plate.

“Really?” You asked softly as you ate your own sandwich yourself, nodding along as he continued speaking.

“We try to keep our… ‘outside’ lives under wraps. Even being a team… what we talk about is always very superficial.” He trailed off.

“So you don’t know anything about the rest of them, nor them about you?” You cocked a brow in confusion.

“Oh, no, bonnie, I talk about myself a whole lot, I’m a blabber mouth, me.” He joked and winked at you. “But family is one of those topics that’s best kept under wraps in our line of work.” He told you as he leaned in, rubbing his thumb on the corner of your mouth to wipe it clean of peri-peri sauce. Then, he sucked his own thumb clean.

“What about me? Do I get to know about you?” You asked him playfully as you leaned forward, setting your elbow on the table as you lean in to him, eyebrows raised in intrigue.

“Tell ye what, bonnie.” Johnny leaned toward you too, licking his fingers clean and then wiping them on a napkin before he set a hand on your thigh under the table. “Anything I tell ye about my family is not going to do them justice… So how about I take ye up to meet my family over the summer… And ye meet them directly? Could even take the Captain, Simon and Kyle with us.” He offered.

Your eyes widened a bit and you blinked away the surprise, staring at him like he had grown a second head.

“Meeting your family? Really? Isn’t it a bit early for that…?” You chuckled a bit sheepishly.

“Aye, maybe it is…” He trailed off. “But at this point, I’m basically livin’ wit ye and ye’ve looked after me in sickness, haven’t ye?” He joked. “And I’ve fended off yer ex… so I’ve looked after ye in health, haven’t I?”

Rolling your eyes in amusement, you shook your head. You knew he was just joking, the look in his eyes showed it… “Are you implying that we’re married, Johnny?” You teased him playfully.

“I’m just saying…” He trailed off playfully, a playful smirk on his lips. “And, if we were married, not saying that we are,… I’d make sure to take ye home tonight and rearrange yer guts if ye let me, mo leannan.”

Looking away and biting your lip, you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Shut it…” You trailed off. “You need to rest, your shoulder’s bad still.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t use my mouth on ye… and that you can’t be on top.” He added before he grabbed another one of your chips and popped it in his mouth.

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If the video doesn't work: TUMBLR LINK

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taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!):

@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling ,

@tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva ,

@emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes ,

@irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @cod-z , @frescoisnotinthemilitary ,

@leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @xxshadowbabexx , @severenswife , @enarien ,

@agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind ,

@neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine ,

@kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 ,

@gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 ,

@kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust ,

@thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

[pinejayy]

➤ My Fire Flame~ || Portgas D. Ace x Reader!

summary: reader feels insecure about their body and their part in the crew. so they want to leave the crew but ace won’t allow them, and he’ll show them how much he appreciates them and their body.

request by: @sky-skys-world

warnings: smut!! afab reader!! some swearing, fingering, oral (reader receiving) , unprotected sex.

a/n: oof sorry if this took longer than expected but I hope you enjoy!! // please let me know if there’s any mistakes.

✦•·················• ���𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃!! •·················•✦

You watched everyone laughing from a distance, the crew decided to throw a huge party after a successful raid against an other pirate crew, the crew were drinking and eating their hearts away. While you were sulking in a corner watching everyone getting drunk and giggling at each other. As you watched the party some of your crew members tried inviting you to the party but you would smile and refuse kindly. Not noticing the cold eyes towards you, foot steps started to reach your way until someone certain was standing in front of you.

“Hey Kiddo. Why aren’t you with the rest of the crew? Don’t feel like drinking?”

Jumping slightly at the sudden voice and you sigh and look up and see Ace. “Oh hey Ace.” You simply say, avoiding his question. He took a seat next to you and hums softly. “I don’t know. I’m just feel under the weather that’s all no need to worry.”

“Y/N.. Come on join the party, grab a drink with me and let loose. After all you are part of this crew right.” He said and looks over you, giving you an innocent smile. Looking at him, letting out a deep sigh and shake your head.

“That’s okay, sorry I just don’t feel good…monthly problems.” Lying as you spoke and Ace just sighed. “Well I can’t argue with that. Come on allow me to walk you to your room.” He said and stood up but you quickly shook your head.

“Oh no no. It’s okay! No need to walk me!” You say and quickly stand up and shake your head. And try to walk off before he could speak but he didn’t allow you to leave quite yet.

Ace raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “Aw come on kiddo, I’ve walked you back to your room before.” Grabbing your arm and he started to walk towards your room and away from the party and music. Struggling against his grip, he couldn’t see your room…no.

Your room was basically empty…it was filled with duffle bags of your belongs and clothes. You were planning on leaving this crew and hide away from everyone. Honestly these thoughts about your place in the crew have been on your mind for weeks now. And you’ve been looking for the perfect example to run off. And tonight was prefect considering everyone was gonna be wasted but Ace was in the way.

As he walked you towards your room…well more like drag you there you keep struggling against him. “Ace…look I can walk myself.”

“You seem nervous why is that?” He teased softly and before you knew it you guys were in front of your room.

“Oh thanks! Now if you will excuse me now! Look at the time! It’s late!” You say nervously, and rip away from his grip and try to make your way into the room but he quickly blocked your way. “Wait Y/N..”

“Goodnight Ace..” You say softly, and by some miracle you squeeze your way between him and open your door and before you could close it, he blocks it with his foot. Making you groan. “What?”

“Hey hey. What’s your problem? You usually let me tuck you into bed. Not tonight??” He said, and you look down. “It’s nothing Ace, just not feeling good.” You say, trying to close the door on him but he wouldn’t allow it.

“Y/N. I’m serious. You’ve been acting weird lately.” He said making you stop in your tracks and Ace took the opportunity to push himself in, gasping at the sudden action. You began waving your hands in front of his face.

“You’re leaving the crew?” He asked softly, looking down at you. You couldn’t bring yourself to face him. And all you could do was nod. “Does Whitebread know?!”

“No! Of course he doesn’t…”

Ace looks at you and slowly he closes the door and with a quick motion. “So you’re just gonna leave us?! Without telling us? Or anyone?!” He raised his voice at you, and he couldn’t help but feel betrayed and angry towards you. “You were going to leave me…without telling me.”

“Ace…it’s not like that.”

“YES IT IS! WHY WOULD YOU WANNA LEAVE?” He suddenly yelled at you. Making you flinch at his sudden outburst.

“Ace please calm down.”

“WHY?!” He yelled once again before taking a deep breath and looks at you. “Please tell me…why. I thought you loved this crew…” He looked visibly upset, and you could have sworn you heard his voice crack as he spoke to you.

“I do love this crew! I just can’t..”

“Can’t what?” He said and he started to walk towards you. “Tell me! I deserve to know! Please Y/N.” He said and tears started to form in the corner of his eyes.

“I’M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THIS CREW!” You suddenly snap at him. “Sorry I didn’t mean to tell you at Ace.”

“What do you mean you’re not good enough?! You’re more than good enough! You’re prefect…”

“I’m the weakest of the whole crew…I have the lowest bounty…I don’t deserve to be apart of the crew..” You say and we’re on the edge of breaking down in front of him and he just stood there.

“Y/N…stop with this bullshit. Everyone has their part in this crew. And that includes you. You’re not weak, you hear me.”

“Please stop lying to me…look at me.” You said and point at your body. “I’m not like everyone else in this crew….I’m more squishy….and I’m not like the other people…”

That was the final straw for him, he couldn’t just stand there as you talked down to yourself and he grabbed your chin and made you look directly at him. “Nonsense! You’re prefect! Your smile is prefect…your eyes are as beautiful as the ocean. And you’re definitely not weak Y/N.”

“But I am…Ace.” You say and try to move away from him but his grip from your chin wasn’t letting go. “Ace…please…why do you care so much about me…I’m no one special.”

“THATS ENOUGH!” He yelled and sighed and lets go of your face. Running his hand over his face, before taking a deep breath. “That’s enough Y/N.. I won’t stand here allowing you to talk so badly about yourself and I definitely won’t allow you to leave this crew. You’re too important for the crew…” He said, he couldn’t help but look away from your eyes. “You’re too important to me…I can’t allow you to leave…I just can’t.”

“Important? How am I so important to you?”

“God…I was going to tell you this sooner but I guess now it’s the perfect time to tell you how I really feel about you….” He said and you were about to speak up and he held a finger to keep you quiet. “The first time I’ve ever laid eyes on you it was like my chest was burning. It was like love at first sight…I love everything about your. Your smile, your laugh and I especially love how devoted you are to help this crew out..god you have no idea how much I love you Y/N. I love you so fucking much! I think about you when I sleep!” He said and took a step closer to you, closing the gap between the both of you. Placing a hand on your check, wiping the few tears you had. “I love you so much…please don’t leave me.”

You were shocked at his words, he loves you? “Ace? Is this true…you love me?”

He nodded. “I do…you can’t leave. You’re too precious. You’re too important.” He pleaded and grabs your hand and squeezes it slightly. “You’re perfect Y/N. You mean a lot to me.”

“But….”

Ace places a finger over your lips. “But nothing..you’re prefect in every way.” Turning red from his words you were star struck. And he spoke up once again. “Please allow me to show you how beautiful you.”

“I…uh…how?”

“Please just give me permission…please say yes…you have to say yes.”

Not being able to speak all you could was nod. And immediately leans in and places a gentle kiss against your lips. Wrapping his arms around your waist, bringing your body against his. You didn’t kiss back right away since you were shocked. You couldn’t believe that Ace confessed his love for you. Honestly you’ve always had a crush on Ace but were too scared to tell him anything. Now look at you. He literally has his body pressed against yours while your lips are locked.

As time passes up you gave into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and returning the kiss. He couldn’t help but groan against your lips. Ace wasted no time to deepen the kiss, licking your lip asking for permission to which you gladly granted and opened your mouth. And he wasted no time, sliding his tongue into his new territory and he used his tongue to explore your mouth.

Moaning softly into the kiss, god you didn’t know this man could kiss like there was no tomorrow. Ace couldn’t help but brush his tongue against yours. Both tongue’s fighting over dominance.

Before things could get more heated he pulled away from the kiss. Leaving a string of saliva between your guys lips. “Please Y/N. May I have permission….may I have the honor of showing you how much I love you.”

“Oh…Ace..” You say softly and looking into his beautiful eyes and all you could was nod. And he smiled and in a quick motion he picked up and walks towards your head and placed you gently on the bed.

As he laid you on the bed his lips slowly made their way to your neck. Planting soft and gentle kisses against the skin of your neck. “You’re so beautiful…very beautiful.” He mumbled. Dragging his tongue along your neck. Making your shiver and moan softly. And he drags his hands over your body. Feeling every curve and every part.

And as he dragged his hands along your body, his hand made their way to your bottoms. “Do I have permission?” He asked softly. Still planting kissing along your neck. Trying to find your sweet spot.

“Yes..” You moan softly, and as you lay there enjoying the attention your neck was getting. You suddenly gasp as he kissed a certain spot on your neck making him smirk along your skin. “Ah found it.” He mumbled and focused on that spot. Sucking onto the skin slightly, he couldn’t help but nibble onto the skin slightly. He began to tug onto your shirt slightly and you just nodded and he licks his lips and moved away slightly and helped you remove your shirt and threw it across the room. And he also removed his cowboy hat and threw it to the side. And he went back to kissing and biting your neck.

As you were busy moaning underneath him, his hands slowly started to undo your bottoms and his kisses got lower as well. Slowly his kisses trailed down to your shoulder, then to your collar bone and on your chest. “This…this is in the way.” He said softly. And started to tug on your bra. “May I?”

You were a bit hesitant but you nodded. He dragged his fingers along your body and chest. And slowly he undid your bra and removed it and threw it to the side. And he looks back to you and your face was burning red and you hand your hands over your chest. “Don’t be shy. And don’t cover your beautiful body from me.”

He leans in again and kisses your stomach. And he grabbed your hands and slowly removed them away from your chest. And you didn’t put much of fight. And once your chest was exposed he lets out a long whistle. “Wow you’re even more beautiful than I imagined.”

Leaning in once again, he placed gentle kisses along your chest. And soon after he took in one of your nipples into his mouth and sucked on them slightly. Making you arch your back in pleasure. “Wow. Youre already shaking with this? Just wait until I’m done with you .”

And as Ace keeps toying with your sensitive nipples with his tongue he slowly started to undo your bottoms and tug them down slightly and you took notice in his and help him out. He removed your bottoms along with your underwear. Now completely naked…you couldn’t help but blush. And he pulled away to take in your beauty. “So beautiful…so fucking beautiful.”

He made sure you were comfortable before he could do anything else. He leans in again and places his lips against yours. His hand traced along your lips giving a slight pinch making you gasp out and little by little is fingers went lower and lower until they reached your wet core. You were lost into the heated kiss that you didn’t notice that his fingers were almost touching your wet heat.

He slowly spreads your legs with his hands and gently traces a finger along your clit making you gasp out and whimper. Pulling away from the kiss. “Ace..”

“Hm yes?” He said, looking down at you. Slowly rubbing your clit. “Yes my fire flame?”

You groan as you heard his voice, it was filled with lust. “I give you permission…”

That’s all Ace needed, and he couldn’t help but smirk to himself. He was definitely going to keep you up all night. Rubbing small circles on your clit, making you moan underneath him. And without wasting time he slowly moved his hand away from your clit making you growl softly and before you could say anything he inserted one finger inside your needy hole.

He slowly started to move it in and out of you making your moans get louder. And you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed that you were going to cover your mouth to muffle out your moans but Ace took notice on this and grabbed your hand before you could silence your pretty little moans. “Aw come on baby. Don’t do that I want to hear your sweet little moans.” He said and let’s go of your arm.

“But…ahh mmm… what if someone sees us.” You say between your moans, making him laugh slightly.

“Don’t worry about it…” He began saying and slowly he inserts an other finger inside of you. Moving both fingers upwards making you throw your head back in pleasure.

“Everyone is drinking remember. Everyone is getting drunk…and while everyone is getting drunk on booze. I’m gonna get pussy drunk.” He chuckled. Making you whimper and moan at his words.

Ace felt your walls tighten around his fingers and he quickly removed them before you could reach your climax.

“Ace!!” You whine out. “I was so close.”

“Oh I know.” He said and removed his fingers and he couldn’t help but bring his fingers to his mouth and suck on them. Moaning softly at the taste of your juices that coated his fingers.

Not going to lie as you watched this you couldn’t help but feel more turned on. And soon after Ace pulled his fingers out of his mouth. Moaning at the taste.

“God you’re gonna get me drunk Y/N.” He groans and before you could say anything. He was already between your thighs. Spreading them even more. And this man wasted no time to tease you…well at least not for today. He needed to taste you…more directly.

Before you could react or say anything he already had his tongue between your folds, dragging his tongue along your folds and moaning at your taste.

You couldn’t help but drag your fingers in his hair, pulling on it slightly. “Ace…” You moan loudly, throwing your head back.

“So good…good..” He moans softly, mumbling between your heat.

How tongue made its way to your clit and he focused on it. Toying with it with his tongue. And soon after your toes curled in pleasure. You never knew you could feel this good.

Your moans got louder and you felt your stomach began to tighten making you whimper. And with a few more licks to your clit. You couldn’t help but moan loudly. “Ahh A-ACE…” Before reaching the best orgasm in your life.

Ace gave you a few more licks before pulling away. And he stood on his knees and slowly he started to undo his pants. And he watched you, and you were a panting and shaking mess.

“Ahh look at you. All this just with my fingers and tongue beautiful? God wait until I fuck you with my cock.” He teased and slowly he started to undo his pants and he was painfully slowly.

God…this was going to be a long and pleasant night for you~

After awhile he finally removed his pants and he cock sprung up. And it stood up with all its glory. And he was big. You weren’t sure if it was gonna fit…

But this made you blush and you sit up and you wanted to return the favor so you wrap your hand around his cock and slowly moved it making him groan. He grabs your hand and moving it away.

“Tonight is about you my love.” He said and pins you against your back. “But maybe for some other day. I just need to make you feel special. And to officially make you mine.”

As your back was against the bed, he positioned himself between your legs. And with the tip of his cock he started to tease you slightly. And slowly he placed the tip of his cock in your entrance. And slowly he started to sink himself into you and into your warmth. Making him groan under his breath.

“Just let me now.. when this becomes to much for you.” He said softly, and started to make his way in fully. Making you moan and tear up slightly. Stretching you up.

Yup…he was big. It was painful. And he took notice and he was about to pull away but you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Just give me some time…please. I need this..”

Ace just nodded and stayed still, until you nodded after awhile. “Okay I’m ready.”

And he wasted no time, he began to move in and out of you slowly. Not wanting to hurt you. “Are you okay my fire flame?”

You just nodded and bite your lip. “Yes…”

“Good…good fire flame.” He said and leans in and catches your lips with his. And his pace was gentle and slow. Both tongues meeting each other once again. And you couldn’t help but moan into the kiss. “More…Ace please.”

And this man wasted no time to do so. Grabbing your hips and holding them in place and he took a moment to stop and you nodded once again and he started to pick up the pace of his movements.

He pulled away from the kiss, and both of you guys were panting heavily.

Your sweet moans were getting to Ace and he couldn’t help but slam his hips against yours causing you to scream out in pleasure. “Ace…baby! Please..I’m close.”

He groans and keeps his pace going. He felt your walls tighten around him. Ace grip around your hip tighten. “Yeah I know baby…”

You were so lost in your pleasure that one of your hands made their way to your clit and you rubbed it slowly so you could reach your climax faster.

“Now…please Y/N…cum with me.” He pleaded. And you couldn’t help but whimper at that.

And soon after both of you guys reach your guys climax and you couldn’t help but tug into his slightly. Panting slightly, Ace chuckled at your cute reaction. Before giving a few more thrusts he pulled out making both of your groan out. And he watched as his seed dripped out of your hole.

You were a shaking mess. And Ace couldn’t get enough of it.

He laid besides you and wrapped his arms around you, bringing you close to him. Inhaling your sweet scent.

“That was amazing, Ace..” You breathe out, and snuggle against him.

“I love you Y/N…”

You stayed quite as your heard his words. Before speaking up again. “I love you too Ace.”

“Please don’t leave the crew. You’re too important to this crew and to me.” He pleaded and snuggled against you. Burying his face into your neck. “Please.”

Making you sigh out and you wrap your arms around him. “I promise I won’t leave you Ace.”

And you guys lay there, enjoying each other’s company . “But for now let’s get some rest my fire flame. I need rest for tomorrow.”

“How come?”

“Well besides fucking you again.” He said, making you blush and hide your face into his neck. Making him laugh slightly before he spoke up again.

“I need to confront a pirate by the name of Blackbread.”

[mandiemegatron]

ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴ-ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ; ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴏ

ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴅᴏ (ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ʟᴀʙᴏᴜʀ) <- ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ

ᴋɪᴅ x ᴄɪꜱꜰᴇᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ / ᴋɪʟʟᴇʀ x ᴄɪꜱꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ ; 18+, ᴛᴀʟᴋꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴅɪꜱꜱᴏᴄɪᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪʟʟᴇʀ. ꜱʟɪɢʜᴛ ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ. ᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢᴇɴᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴇʀᴍꜱ, ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴀꜱ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴘᴛꜱᴅ.

Welcome and helloooo every-nyan!!! WOW this took so much longer than I expected and it's longer than the first chapter by over 1k words (I literally couldn't be stopped) and I'm hoping this will satisfy.... until the third chapter comes out 😈 mwahaha!

Thank you to all of my mutuals for the support and love, and a big thank you to @laidenbreecatchall for listening to me scream about this for hours and for helping me with ideas! You're amazing, I adore you, thank you so much for everything 💖

As always, a huge thank you and a million smooches for my beta @moss-woods, none of this is possible without you. I love you endlessly 💖💖💖

Without further ado... I present you with part two of Too Much Labour. This chapter is all about the Kid Pirates, so my fellow Kid and Killer lovers might just enjoy this one just as much as I loved writing it 🤭🤭🤭💖💖💖

You tried so hard to fit in.

Three months had passed since you'd fled the Heart Pirates and into, unfortunately for you, Eustass Kid, of all people. It had just happened to be your shit luck that the Victoria Punk was nestled off in a small cove off on the opposite end of the island.

Following behind him and his masked friend, Killer you find out, trying to keep the same pace as your shorter legs carried you as fast as they could. You shuffled your bag a little higher only to distract yourself enough to bump directly into Kid’s back. You fell to the ground, startled, as a small “oof!” left you.

“Pay attention, brat,” Kid sneered, barely throwing you a glare over his shoulder before turning around to snatch your bag from your hands.

“You look fuckin’ stupid tryin’ to act all tough.”

You rolled your eyes in return with an almost mocking look, allowing Killer to help you off the ground with a warm, heavy hand. You brushed off your butt and legs with a sigh, trying not to mumble out-loud as you gave Killer a nod in thanks before continuing after Kid.

You blinked a few times in shock as the Victoria Punk came into view, the huge dinosaur skull that served as the bow of the ship overwhelmingly shaking you to the core. Your pace slowed down and you could practically hear the smug smirk in Kid's voice when he barked out a laugh at your expression.

“Beautiful, ain't she? Nothing but the best for the future King of the Pirates.”

The sheer ego he spewed off himself as he spoke clutched around your heart as it truly began to sink in.

You weren't a Heart Pirate anymore.

You took a slow breath and tried to give Kid a winning grin, throwing up two thumbs as you shakily commented,

“H-hell yeah! It's impressive as fuck!”

Kids brow ridge rose and he grunted, his smirk turning a bit sour as he huffed and continued down towards his ship. “Whatever.” You barely heard his mumbling, your hands falling back down as you gave another sigh.

The same hand that helped you earlier landed on your right shoulder, giving you a slight shake as Killer's voice washed over you.

“Sorry about him, it's just been a weird day for us. He'll get over it.” He gave your shoulder a small squeeze before moving to follow after his best friend and Captain. “and you will too.” He called over his shoulder before motioning for you to follow as well.

You spared a glance over your shoulder towards the way you came, your arms wrapping around themselves as a strange chill settled over your skin. There was a whispering murmur between the trees and you could have sworn you heard your name…

“Y/N?”

Your head turns back to Killer and you straighten yourself out, feeling a cold hand crush around your heart as you take your first step after him, anxious but almost a little excited for a new journey.

Would you still be the same Y/N you were on the Polar Tang? What if the same thing happened again?

You blinked back angry tears as your head replayed the last few hours, reminding you over and over with every step you took that this would be worth it, that this would be different.

It would be different.

“You're in your head again, Y/N.”

Glancing up from chopping veggies for dinner prep to meet Killers masked visage, you sighed softly through your nose before frowning slightly and murmuring,

“I'm just… I'm fine, Killer, I promise.”

A warm hand meets your shoulder just like those months ago though your heart leapt into your throat this time, just like it did every time Killer touched you.

“You wanna talk about it?”

You gave Killer a warm smile, shaking your head slightly before patting his hand with gentle fingers, trying not to let your touch linger on his skin too long.

“Maybe later.”

You could feel the smile Killer gave you under the mask. Slight guilt ate away at you as he gave you a solid nod, squeezing your shoulder once before letting his hand fall from you.

Once prep was done and the food was cooking, Killer kicked you out gently, reminding you to come back later to help with cleaning up once everyone had eaten.

Sitting atop the large skull that served as the ship's bow, you scribbled in your small journal, trying to bite back tears as you poured your heart out to the small book. It had felt like so long since you'd seen the Heart Pirates, your family, and your heart ached to the point it felt like it had been ripped from your chest.

Snapping the book shut, you sighed heavily and rubbed at your face before looking back out to the vast seas. Taking a deep breath, you crossed your legs and straightened your back, letting your eyes fall shut as you tried to ground yourself.

Your eyes snapped back open when all you could see was Law's shocked and broken expression from when you jumped out of the Tang and ran. Steeling your expressing with a slight sneer, you grunted softly and made to get up when you suddenly heard,

“You look like shit.”

Your head snapped up and you met with Kid's fiery eyes. You could tell he was trying to read you, not saying anything else until you either snapped back or got up and walked away.

“... yeah… yeah I bet I do.”

Kid tilted his head slightly with a deep hum before holding out his hands for you to take. You shocked him slightly when your two hands gripped his metal one, letting him pull you up and nearly into him. His flesh hand steadied your shoulder and you stared at each other for a few moments, your cheeks slowly tinting a few shades lighter than his hair under his gaze.

After a few more moments of comfortable silence, he gently tugged your hands in his one, making you follow him as he turned to walk back in the ship. His metal hand kept a grip on yours, pulled back behind himself slightly as you tried to keep up with his long legs.

Your brows shot up in surprise when you realized where he was taking you, your heart skipping a beat as he pulled you into his workshop. He cleared some space off his desktop and patted it, watching you hike yourself up onto his desk and sit comfortably as your eyes took in the chaos of it all.

Eustass sat back in his worn chair, arms crossed over his massive chest as he finally comments,

“You're distracted.”

You stop taking in the wonder of his workshop to look back at him. Your fingers fiddled with themselves in your lap, anxiety beginning to eat away at your insides as you quietly replied,

“Yeah.”

Kid gives a heavy sigh, looking you over as if you were an incomplete puzzle with pieces missing.

He hoped you knew that he would rip his hands apart to their bare bones, broken wires and rusted scrap metal to craft the missing pieces inside you, if you'd let him.

As he continued to watch you, something in his heart screamed that you wouldn't, and he wasn't sure if it hurt more to know you'd never want him the way he wanted you.

The silence crept on, turning almost suffocating as you stared each other down, feeling smaller and smaller under his intense gaze until he finally snapped in a sharp tone,

“If you don't want to be here, we'll drop you at the next island.”

Your heart immediately sank and tears filled your eyes, your hands curling around each other tightly til your fingers turned white. Your mind turned dark, thoughts swarming with the fear of being left behind and forgotten about until Kid piped up again, this time his voice a little softer as he asked,

“You've been struggling this whole time, haven't you?”

You broke down.

You covered your face, not wanting him to see the bitter tears that swept down your face as you barely got out,

“I thought he loved me, man…”

Silently sobbing into your palms, you didn't notice Kid sigh with a roll of his eyes and stand from his chair until you were suddenly surrounded in warmth, flesh and metal pulling you to a chest of muscle.

Weak fingers gripped at the front of Kid’s open shirt as you openly wept into him, no longer caring about feeling weak in front of your now Captain. One of his hands awkwardly ran up and down your back, his cheek resting on the top of your head as he frowned at the back of his workshop door.

He was determined to make you see that you were worth so much more than the pain that shit head Trafalgar gave you.

You weren't sure how long you'd been sobbing into Kid's chest, only pulling away when a deep voice cleared their throat over by the door. Looking over with sad, blurry eyes, you took in Killer who stood with his arms crossed, watching the display with an air of near disappointment around him.

“So you'll tell him but not me, eh?”

There was a joking tone to Killers words, pulling a small smile to your lips that caused both men to relax slightly.

“... just don't want to-”

Your words cut off as Kid squeezed you, cutting off your thoughts as he quickly bit out,

“You're not a bother and you're not annoying, God I'd wish you'd shut up sometimes.”

You froze at his words, brows furrowed as you pulled away enough to look up at Kid. His cheeks tinted a light pink as he huffed, looking past Killer as he continued,

“You think I'd let an annoyance join my crew? You think I'd let some weak nobody stick around? You're not either of those things so stop thinking we're gonna do what Trafalgar did to you.”

His flesh hand gripped the bottom of your face, his thumb brushing away the stray tears that spilled out as he finished with a tired,

“I'm not fuckin’ stupid.”

Killer moved closer, one of his hands brushing your hair over your shoulder and behind your ear gently as he agreed,

“You're one of a kind, Y/N. We see that - we see you.”

Killer leaned in as best he could to press his mask to the top of your head as if pressing a kiss to it. He stayed for a moment before pulling back, picking up one of your hands and holding it as Kid's own moved from grasping your face to moving the strands of hair from your eyes.

There was something between them that you weren't sure about until now, and while something in your heart tugged you towards them, it still felt like there was a boulder in your stomach.

It would be the same.

Your eyes shut and you gave a small sigh before asking softly, “... can... can I have some space?”

Both men went rigid, slowly pulling away before looking at each other. It was like a telepathic conversation was happening between them and finally Kid huffed and nearly stomped out of the workshop, causing you to flinch at the heavy thuds from his boots.

There's a soft sigh from Killer before he follows him out, closing the door behind himself. The second it clicked shut, tears welled in your eyes and you quietly sobbed into your palms.

It would be the same.

-

7 whole days of silence from your Captain caused your anxiety to fly through the roof of the Victoria, feeling on edge and like you were walking around shards of broken glass.

“Is he that upset?”

There's a shrug from the masked blonde before he replies,

“I mean, you rejected him-”

You huffed and spat back,

“I didn't reject him, OR you for that matter. All I did was ask for space and he took it fuckin’ personal…”

You pause in chopping your veggies, huffing again before taking a step back to fix your hair, taking out the messy bun and redoing it, making it a little tighter.

“He took it as rejection,” Killer adds with a stir to the bubbling pot. His signature spaghetti sauce boiled away, the warm aroma wrapping around you like a gentle hug and pulling you from your thoughts as you went back to your veg.

“Pans ready, you can start to sautée at any time,” Killer reminds you and you're quick to add your ingredients to the pan. They sizzle and crackle softly as you add a few seasonings, giving the veg an expert flip in the pan with one hand.

“I get that, but it's irritating as fuck that instead of coming to me and going like, ‘hey, what did you mean by that,’ he just immediately thought ‘she doesn't want me’, and that's not-”

Killer's hand meets the top of your head, causing you to look up at him as his unique laughter flutters out of his mask.

“You're aware he's stupid, yeah?”

You blink up at him for a few moments before sighing out a tired, “Yeah…”

Killer gives your head a small pat before going back to his sauce. “You're overthinking things. When has Kid ever given you the feeling that he's an emotional conversationalist?”

Your lips purse into a thin line as you flip the veg again, mulling over Killers words. He had a point.

You wouldn't tell him that, though.

“Kid isn't a talker, he takes action instead. He won't ask you how you feel about him because how you act around him convinces him that you feel the same way.”

Your heart sinks as you think about all the moments you've had with Kid - the midnight talks, the tears over too many drinks, the night you spent curled in his arms after that terrible nightmare… you shook your head, trying to rid your mind of the recent memories.

“... that makes sense.” Your voice is almost too soft as you finally reply, giving the veg another shuffle in the pan. “I never want to hurt him.” You make a point to look up at Killer again as you add, “Or you.”

Killer stops and turns his mask towards you, taking in your honest and genuine words before he gives you a small nod. He's thankful for the mask as his cheeks burn, glad you're unable to see what you do to him.

“I know.” He turns off the stove and moves the pot to a cold burner before reaching over you and turning off the pans burner as well. You flip the now slightly crispy veg one more time before moving it to a different burner as well.

“Do you?” You ask softly, turning to him with almost sad eyes as you continue, “Because I have tried so hard to fit in here and sometimes I feel so stupid, as if I'm trying to be someone I'm not, but I'm still me. I know I'm me, and you know I'm me, but how can you-”

Killer cuts you off by gripping your shoulders in his hands, giving you a slight shake as he silences you with a serious, “Stop rambling. You sound ridiculous.”

Your face scrunches up as your brain suddenly goes into overdrive, the words tumbling out of you without even realizing it.

“-be sure that I am me? I'm not me, I'm not the me I was on the Tang, I'm not the me I was before all that and I'm not the me I thought I was.” Angry and hurt tears burned your eyes as you choked out, “I don't even know who I am anymore.”

Killer pulls you into a tight hug, pressing your face into his chest hard enough that it silences your oncoming sobs. “No one's asking you to have it all figured out.” He murmurs against your hair, his mask slowly filling with the scent of your shampoo. “We just want you to be here, alive and safe. We just want you to be here.”

You cling to him, your fingers curling tightly around the back of his shirt as he adds, “It doesn't matter which version of you exists here, because this version of you is a Kid Pirate, and that's what you get to be for the rest of your life.” He gives you a small squeeze. “At the end of the day, that ultimatum will never change. You are a Kid Pirate. Say it.”

He gives you another squeeze and you muffle the words into his shirt, only for him to pull back enough and catch your chin in one of his hands. “Say it again.” He demands lightly.

“... I'm a Kid Pirate.”

“Again.”

You sniffle softly before huffing again. “I'm a Kid Pirate.” You can almost see the grin behind his mask as Killer demands softer, “Once more.”

You swear he's staring right into your soul as you look back into his mask. With a slow blink, you speak in a clearer tone, “I am a Kid Pirate.”

That unique laugh of his wheezes out as he gives your chin a little shake in jest. “That's my girl,” he murmurs before letting his hand drop back to your hip, his thumb gently roaming small circles over your skin. “Damn right you are.”

Your heart swells and something inside you begins to melt away, as if his touch was taking all the anger, pain and fear, sweeping it away with such a gentle touch.

In a moment of adoration for the man in front of you, you reach your hands up and cradle his masked face in your palms, pulling a quick, sharp inhale from the blonde. You're quick as you lean in, your lips pressing against where you assumed his lips sat under the mask for a good moment. You could feel his warm breath through the holes, fanning over your face like a gentle breeze until you pulled away, giving him a warm smile that felt more like you.

“Thank you Kil.”

Massacre Soldier Killer was stunned into silence for a good moment, simply staring you down with wide and confused eyes as you slowly stepped back. He was quick to grasp you, gently, lovingly, and bring you back into his arms.

“You… you kissed me,” he breathed out, unable to wrap his mind around that small, simple fact.

Your face burned bright red, redder than Kid's hair as you coughed out, “Uh yeeeah… yeah, I did…” You chewed the side of your bottom lip for a moment before asking, “W-was that okay?”

Killer’s arms tighten around you as he leaned his head down to rest his covered forehead against yours, his lips moving faster than light as he promised, “Yes, yes yes, of course it's okay, my precious, beautiful girl…” His laugh wheezes past his lips as he solidifies, “My girl.”

Unbeknownst to either of you, Kid stood cross-armed on the wall beside the door to the kitchen, a deep set frown on his face as he listened to you and his best friend fall in love. Something in his chest aches, like a grip around his heart and lungs as you laugh at something Killer says.

‘... Damn…’

The back of his head thuds gently against the wood before he pulls away from the wall, silently debating with himself for a moment before he finally turns and walks into the kitchen, seeing you plate up the mountain of sautéed veggies to be brought out with the spaghetti and sauce. You throw Killer a bright grin before turning to the door and your smile falters, falling slightly as you take in the ragged looking redhead.

“... Hi.”

Kid seems surprised that you're even speaking to him, glancing over at you before giving an awkward wave with his flesh hand.

“... Yo.”

You both stare each other down for a moment before you ask, “Are you still mad at me?”

Kid huffs and rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his massive chest and goes to bark back when he takes in your sad eyes. He could read you too well, just wanting an apology from him for everything, and unfortunately his ego wouldn't let up.

“I'm not mad at you, never was,” his words seem honest though his tone is snarky, making your brain roll around like a wayward marble. “Don't worry, Killer’s girl, we're good.” He ignores your raised eyebrow and confused expression by looking at Killer and nearly demanding, “Is dinner ready? I'm fuckin’ starving.”

Killer nods with a hum and replies tightly, “Yeah, we're just bringing it out now.”

Kid gives him a nod of his own before turning on his foot and stalking out the door, not even stopping as you call his name. Your heart sinks but before you can wallow in your own misery, Killers laugh fills the space, causing you to turn to him.

“What's so funny?” You ask, clearly not in on the joke.

You can feel the grin behind Killers mask as he chuckles out, “Oh, he's jealous as fuck, that's all.” Your face changes into something a little more amused as you ask, “He's… jealous?”

Killer hums again and leans down to press a faux kiss to the side of your head before gripping the large sauce pot with both hands. “Yep! This has happened a few times before but phew, this is too funny.” He heads towards the door and you follow behind, carrying the large veg plate in your hands.

“How is it funny? Why is he jealous?”

Killer laughs again, looking over his shoulder at you as he replies, “It's funny because he thinks he's slick at hiding it, and he's jealous because he hates to lose, and twenty beris says he thinks you don't have a spot for him in that cute little heart of yours.”

Your brows furrow worriedly as you offer, “But I do!”

Killer laughs again, shaking his head slightly as a tinge of his own jealousy climbs up his throat.

“Well then, I think you should show him that.”

He can't see it, but you give a determined nod, your heart set as you begin to think over ideas as you make it to the mess hall.

-

“Come on, we gotta catch up with the others,” Killer rushes you the next morning, nearly pushing you up the stairs with a chuckle as you splutter and snark back at him. “Y-yeah well who's fuckin’ fault is that, eh?”

There's a rough pinch to your left buttcheek and a shrill screech leaves you, your hands waving away Killer’s touchy fingers and covering your behind the rest of the way up. You ignore the sad “Aw…” from Killer as you open the door to the main deck.

“Finally! Come on, let's get this shit over with. Here's your list, don't get lost.” Barks your Captain from his spot off to the side, expression grumpy at being awake before 9 am.

You take the list from Kid and you throw him the widest grin you could manage, ignoring the way he scowls at you with tinted cheeks. He gets himself comfortable in his Captains chair, one leg thrown lazily over the other with his arms crossed.

“You're not coming?” You ask, kicking the toe of your boot into the side of his own, the soft squeak of leather on leather meeting your ears.

“Pff, hell no. That's what you assholes are for,” he jokes, hissing when you kick him a little harder. “Oi! Don't be a bitch,” he barks at you, ignoring the sly grin on your face.

“Ooh, don't be so mean to me, I'll cum,” you tease back before leaning down to press a chaste kiss to his scarred cheek. You then turn away from the now mouth dropped, gawking redhead, nearly skip over to Killer who is also staring down at you in slight shock. Tossing a wave over your shoulder, you take the list and Killers hand in your other hand before letting the blonde lead you off the ship and into town.

The walk was silent, almost heavy. Luckily, the weather was bright and beautiful, the sun shining on both of you and it warmed you right through.

“... that was interesting,” Killer finally commented, making you bark out a loud laugh, covering your face with both palms as you laughed out, “I'll be honest, I don't know where that came from.”

Killer’s arm wraps tightly around your waist, grunting to himself before he grumbles out a little pathetically, “You wouldn't even stay with me last night but you'll kiss him and cum for him…”

You laugh again, your arm resting around his hip comfortably as you sigh out happily, “Yeah…”

There's a silence between you both again before you both begin laughing, finally making it to town. He gives you a slight squeeze, leaning his head down to press a masked smooch to the top of your head before pulling away with a serious warning of, “Don't go too far. I need to be able to see you, understand?”

You roll your eyes before tearing the list in half, giving him the top half and keeping the easier things for yourself. “Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Don't worry, I don't plan on disappearing,” you joke, throwing him a wink before leaning up and pressing a few soft kisses to his mask. “You don't go too far either.”

Killer hums, pressing his mask against your kisses in response before murmuring down to you, “I won't.”

Turning away from you, you watch Killer stalk off into the opposite direction, trying to keep an eye on his blonde hair right up until he disappears. You know he's still close by, the market truly nothing large, but you still can't help but feel incredibly overwhelmed now. Taking a deep breath, you settled your nerves before finally looking down at your now shortened list, grinning at the easy items you had to grab.

You'd bought the first few items easily, even getting a bargain for the spice blends Killer had asked for, though at the next stall, you found yourself frozen in place as you took in the figure of a certain orange jumper covering a large, white bear.

Your swore your heart stopped, fear gripping you like icy fingers around your entire body as the bear turned. You tried to turn as well, keeping your face towards the wares on the table but a heavy paw quickly spun you, pulling a soft, surprised gasp from you as you took in two beady, watery eyes.

“Y-Y/N?!”

[xiao-zhen]

Words Better Left Unread, or Is It? ~ Part III ☆

Part I Part II Part IV

Picture: Macaque's Dojo

“Shift a bit more to the right, Mk. To maintain your balance on your tail, you really need to tune into the sensation,” came the encouraging voice.

“It’s my tail, and I can definitely feel it! But no matter what I do, I keep tipping over!” Mk protested, frustration evident in his voice. He lost his balance again and landed unceremoniously on the ground with a soft, defeated “oof.” Wukong chuckled, but Mk could tell something was bothering him despite Wukong’s attempts to hide it. Mk paused and looked at Wukong, who was balancing on his tail. He always found it interesting that his tail was a little longer than Wukong’s but not as long as Macaque’s. When Wukong stood up, his tail didn’t quite reach the ground.

In contrast, Macaque’s tail appeared softer, and when it was raised, some of it even touched the ground. Mk realized that discussing Macaque might be a bit premature, as it would likely bother Wukong. However, knowing Mk’s curiosity, he couldn’t help but ask in a way that wasn’t very subtle; he ended up saying it out loud.

“So, Monkey King, why is Macaque's tail longer and fluffier than yours? And how is it that his tail is longer than ours, even though all three of us are monkey men?” Wukong didn't expect Mk to bring up Macaque, especially given the timing. Wukong's expression revealed that something was off, which Mk surprisingly noticed. Nevertheless, Wukong answered the question. 

"Some monkeys have different characteristics. I have less fur than Macaque. On my chest, there is a pink patch without any fur, while the macaque has a smaller, red patch that looks somewhat spiky but is soft, has a different shape, and is covered in fur. The same applies to our tails; his is long, mine is shorter, and yours is in-between compared to ours. But don't worry, you'll get a better sense of your monkey form at some point!"

Mk suddenly realized that Macaque was supposed to be at training today, just as he had promised. But where was he? Concerned, Mk turned to Wukong and asked, “Hey, did you see Macaque? He was supposed to be here for training today.” Wukong furrowed his brow, unsure of how to explain Macaque’s absence. He thought, Oh no, I really don’t want to have to tell Mk this. What could he even say? “Macaque writes letters to me that he never actually sends, using them to help process his emotions. Recently, Savage decided to give one of these letters to me. I couldn’t help but read it, and now Macaque is probably panicking and avoiding training to escape the situation.” Yeah, Wukong is definitely not on board with telling Mk.

Mk couldn't help but notice Wukong's reaction and asked, "What happened? Don’t tell me you two got into an argument, and he didn’t show up just to spite you?" Wukong froze; that wasn’t exactly what happened. It was partly true but also partly not. However, what Mk said next made Wukong freeze again—this was a terrible idea!

Mk crossed his arms, and frustration was evident in his voice. “Wukong, stop acting like a child! This isn’t just about you anymore,” he reprimanded, shaking his head. “You think I haven’t noticed how you’re handling this? If we don’t confront him together, we’re only making things worse!” He took a step closer, determined to get through to Wukong. “Macaque helped us defeat Lady Bone Demon and retrieve the scroll; he’s on our side! You need to trust that we can face this, but if you keep backing away, you only isolate yourself. We’re going, and that’s final!” His tone softened just a bit as he continued, “I know you’re scared, but you’re stronger than you think. We can do this together.” After that, Wukong looked like a dejected child, his shoulders slumping and his gaze cast downwards. The weight of doubt and fear clung to him, making it hard to find the resolve he once had. He seemed lost in thought, reflecting on the dangers ahead and the uncertainty of their mission. Clearly, the burden of their struggles weighed heavily on his heart, and the flicker of hope he had was now dimmed. 

Mk explained that he would take Wukong to see where Macaque lived, suggesting it might help clear the air. “I’ll wait outside while you two talk,” he said, trying to reassure Wukong. “Sometimes, facing someone in their own space can change everything.” He glanced at Wukong, gauging his reaction. “Just remember, this is about understanding and finding a way forward.” With a nod, Wukong seemed to soften a bit, the tension in his expression easing. They set off, hoping this meeting would be the first step toward healing the rifts between them.  He paced back and forth, gripping his hair in frustration. Mk couldn't help but say that he felt like the wise Subodhi. 

With Mk, they flew onto Wukong’s cloud in his bird transformation, guiding the way to Macaque’s dojo. When they landed, Wukong noticed the area where Macaque lived. “Is this where he lives? In this neighborhood? It’s a pretty dangerous area,” he remarked. Mk pointed out, “Yeah, but he’s the Six-Eared Macaque; he should be fine.” Wukong noted how Mk spoke about Macaque; it was clear the kid viewed him positively, seeing him as a warrior—the warrior he once was. Wukong then realized, “A dojo? His place is a dojo?” He couldn’t help but snicker, but his laughter quickly turned to nervousness as Mk approached the door to knock. 

They heard Macaque's voice drift through the air, husky and heavy with fatigue. "Not interested," he said. His tone had an unmistakable weariness, a grogginess that suggested he had endured a restless night. Clearly, he hadn't slept; the roughness of his voice indicated he had spent hours tossing and turning, possibly preoccupied with worry or contemplation. Wukong couldn't help but wonder if the arrival of that letter had affected Macaque to such a degree that it robbed him of his rest. This thought weighed heavily on him as he considered the depth of Macaque's unease. Mk also noticed it and looked at Wukong with concern, clearly showing that he cared for Macaque. Mk then spoke up, saying it was him and Wukong, just as they heard a loud noise of weapons clattering to the ground from somewhere high above in his place, followed by a muttered, “Crap.”

“Don’t you have training to get to? I didn’t feel up for it today, Kid. Maybe next week.”Mk knew he was avoiding Wukong, so he scolded Macaque to get him to open the door. “Come on, Macaque! I know you’re in there! You can’t just hide away like this,” he shouted, his voice a mix of frustration and urgency. “We need to talk, and you can’t keep shutting everyone out! I know you’re tired, but at least let me in to sort this out.” Despite his stern words, Mk couldn't shake the feeling of sympathy for Macaque, who looked weary and worn from a sleepless night. The silence stretched between them, punctuated only by the unsettling clinks of metal weapons being picked up and shifted around. Macaque remained detached, seemingly lost in his thoughts, choosing to ignore the attempt at conversation. Sensing the growing tension, Mk took a deep breath and prepared to speak again, hoping to reach the man behind the formidable façade. 

Mk inhaled deeply, the cool air filling his lungs as he raised his hand to the door, knocking firmly once more. The sound resonated softly through the stillness of the hallway, a solitary echo amidst the quiet. After what felt like an eternity of tense silence, the door creaked open slowly, revealing Macaque standing in the frame. His expression was palpable annoyance; his brows furrowed, and his eyes narrowed as he glared at Mk. The irritation was evident on his face, as if the mere thought of facing Wukong’s familiar, with all its infuriating traits, had worn thin his patience.

“I’m not talking to him.”

He was, of course, referring to Wukong. Mk groaned and then began to plead, “Come on! Just talk to him! Think about how you worked together for the Lady Bone Demon and the ink scrolls. I know you both care more than you want to admit, and you miss each other—you miss the friendship! Just talk it out for once!” Wukong shifted uncomfortably, glancing around with anxious eyes as he stood in the shadow of Mk, his heart racing. The air was thick with tension, and he felt the weight of uncertainty pressing down on him, starkly contrasting with Mk's confident stance. As Mk continued, Macaque had enough. 

“Well, Great Sage Equal to Heaven, I haven’t slept, so I’m timing it. Come in.” Mk stayed outside and walked to the side, revealing the nervous wreck of the Monkey King. The door closed from behind Wukong when he nervously walked in. Wukong hated how it felt as if he had been “caught” reading the letter at this very moment. 

“I know you read that letter. Your impulsiveness couldn’t help it. Now get what you want to say out and leave.”

What Wukong said next surprised them both.

[moni-logues]

Kintsugi 9

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, eventual fluff

Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.

Word count: 6.2k

Content: MORE Yoongi POV!, um, honestly there's really not anything to warn for in this chapter, I don't think; Yoongi is not having a fun time

A/N: thank you to @quarter-life-crisis2 and @minttangerines for beta-ing this for me!!! Also, I know I have said before that this story is outlined for 10 chapters but it's going to be more like 12, so we're not THAT close to the end yet!!

Chapter Eight | Masterlist | Chapter Ten

Chapter Nine – Crush 

Yoongi stopped outside your building but you didn’t immediately move to get out of his car. You looked at him and had no name for what you felt, muddled as it was. You didn’t know what to say.  

“Thank you for driving me back,” is where you began. 

Yoongi grunted. 

“I was driving anyway.”  

“Are you ok?”  

He turned towards you and most of his face was in shadow, a lance of light cutting sharply across his face, missing his eyes entirely.  

“I’ll text you tomorrow.” 

You knew what that meant and you didn’t want to push for him to say anything more, not yet. You nodded, opened the passenger door, turned to climb out, and reached out to give his hand one last squeeze. You hadn’t been expecting him to hold on, so when he didn’t let you go, you fell backwards into your seat with a muffled ‘oof’, loud enough though to cover whatever quiet words he uttered. 

“What?”  

“Thanks for coming.”  

His voice was the smallest you’d ever heard it.  

“I’ll always be here for you,” you told him, meaning it, hoping he believed it.  

He let your hand go and didn’t stop you this time when you climbed out of his car and shut the door. You wanted to watch him drive away but you knew he wouldn’t leave until you were safely inside, so you waved and walked into your building.  

Yoongi slipped off his shoes and called out for Cherry, but he needn’t have bothered as she was already hurtling towards him, screaming what he assumed was invective for having left her for so long. He picked her up and carried her to the sofa and he had to remind himself to be careful, to not squeeze her too hard. At least someone was happy to see him.  

He lay, his body feeling thick and heavy, and stared up at the ceiling. The apartment was dark—he hadn’t turned the lights on—and where he had been hoping it would feel like home, that he would feel relieved and comforted to be back in his own space, he felt empty. 

That raw, clawed-out feeling burnt in him. The emptiness rang out in the cold, dead space of the room. He felt skinned alive. Everything he had not wanted to deal with, everything he had been putting off, everything was hiding from, everything that scared him most in the world had come home to roost. All at once. He used to think of you when he felt like this. You made him feel one ounce lighter, one shade brighter, a little less hollow. He would think of you and remember that you were there and remember the promise that you had made and he would go to sleep and wake up to another morning.  

Now, he couldn’t even think of you. Because he couldn’t pretend anymore. Because you had come to Daegu and met his family and held his hand and nothing had ever made him feel more cared for. These feelings that he’d had, that had sparked in him the second you smiled at him and waved him over on that very first evening, that he held close to himself like a warding spell, were no longer under his control.  

He had denied them at first, obviously. Strenuously. You were friendly; he wasn’t used to people being so friendly. You were generous and sweet and overly familiar and it took him off-guard, that was all. Then you gave him a brownie and his heartstrings snapped. He carried that brownie around with him until he had to throw it away, not because he didn’t want to eat it, but because he couldn’t bring himself to make it disappear. It showed him all the ways in which you and his ex-girlfriend were different: all of the ways in which you made him feel happier and lighter and like he was having fun, like he was a person who could have fun and all the ways in which she made him feel bad and irritable and lonely.  

He tried to deny that, too, furious and sick with guilt at his disloyalty. His cowardly resolution was to not talk to you at all, made all the harder by the fact that he ended up at the station next to you and then harder still at the way you kept talking to him, the way you stopped talking to him when he didn’t utter a word in response.  

He usually took a long way home, a detour; sometimes he stopped in at a friend’s for a drink or a snack or he wandered around a convenience store, putting off going home. He didn’t that night because he felt sick with himself, made livid by his own cowardice. So he had walked into his apartment and Cherry had been curled up on sofa, which was very unlike her, but Yoongi hadn’t had to wonder why for very long. His ex had never been quiet and neither, apparently, was the guy she was fucking in Yoongi’s bed.  

He figured he deserved that, but it had also given him a really good excuse to break up with her, to kick her out, to stop feeling guilty when he had realised that he didn’t actually fucking like her at all. The relief he had felt when she left was physical. And fleeting, because then he had felt guilty about the way he had treated you.  

He never intended for you to sleep together. There was no plan. No plan other than seeing if maybe he could be the person you made him feel like. Could he be fun? Could he be a person that someone like you would like? Could he be more like you? But then you had put on that fucking dress and all he’d wanted to do was take it off. You had put on that dress and he had accidentally told you that you looked sexy and you had looked surprised, delighted, so fucking cute and he had been way past most of his inhibitions by that point so he just... kissed you.  

He knew it wasn’t the start of anything. He knew you were going to backtrack, brush him off, sweep it under the carpet. He knew and he forced himself not to mind because everything you had said was right; you had already told him enough about your relationship and break-up for him to know that you wouldn’t have wanted anything with him. And that was fine by him, for the most part. He was safe at this distance, nursing his delicate feelings in secret, unworried at the prospect of being found out or having to do anything about them.  

Besides which, you loved him. You told him that. So quickly that he automatically didn’t believe you, couldn’t believe you, because love doesn’t just spring up like that, but you told him and you called him sweet names like you did Taehyung and you teased him and you showed up and you understood and even though he didn’t think it was possible, not really, he believed you when you said it. He was happy to have you in exactly this capacity because your generosity of spirit and your kindness and the brightness of your spark carried him through. Every time he thought to himself, sad and lonely and miserable, that no one like you would ever want someone like him, that you could never see him as a real man, as a true partner, as someone you might want to be with, he reminded himself that he had you as a friend. That had been enough.  

But now, it wasn’t. Now, Yoongi couldn’t hide from himself anymore. He had, foolishly, when he had been wrung out and exhausted and it was almost five in the morning, told you that he wanted a hug and you had got on the first fucking bus to come and give it to him. It had broken him. It had broken him open and there were worms everywhere. It had been like trying to swim through mud; he was fucking drowning. Then he would see you—in the kitchen, preparing dinner; out in the garden with his nephew; looking tired and biting the inside of your lip like he knew you did when you felt self-conscious—and it was like a lungful of air. Like a lungful air getting punched out of him.  

It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough anymore to be your friend, to be at a safe distance. He wanted the distance between you to be atom-thick. He wanted to take a hold of you and never let you go. He wanted to pour his entire wretched heart into your hands.  

He knew he never could.  

You had been clear. You were just friends. You were just friends and, besides, you weren’t seeing anyone right now; you were off romance, off relationships. Everything would have had to be different for him to stand a hope in hell of getting what he wanted. Though, in a warped kind of way, he didn’t really want to get what he wanted either. Because, as much as he wanted to be with you, he didn’t want you to be with him. You deserved more. You deserved better. You deserved the best. He was far from that.  

You had said so yourself that people like you—people like the person you had been—people like Yoongi, they were burdens. You had said you were unlovable and you had said so many times that you and he were the same. He looked at how you saw yourself and he knew you saw him the same way. How you used to see yourself anyway. Because you were brighter now, lighter, genuinely happier and more confident. He didn’t know how it was possible because he had already thought you were the sun when you first met, but the brittleness of your spite had disappeared, the frequency with which you joked about dying had diminished, and there was something more peaceful about you now, the spikes of your anxiety more like ripples.  

Yoongi wasn’t ripples. Yoongi wasn’t even spikes. He was a pit. An abyss. A blackhole. And the very last thing he wanted was to suck you into the middle of it. You deserved more than anything he could ever give you, so he could never tell you how he felt. And now that feeling hurt.  

You sent a text to Taehyung as soon as you stepped inside your apartment. 

[18:31]  You: can you please come over so I can have my crisis now? 

[18:34]  Teddy 🐻: ofc sweet thing. I'll text you when I'm on my way xxx 

* 

The door beeped and you were just about to sit up from your slouched position on the sofa and exclaim about how glad you were that Taehyung was here, when you spotted Hyunjin just behind him and you stopped. 

“Hey!”  

You greeted them both but it came out a little more hesitant than you liked. 

“Hey! Don’t worry, I’m not staying,” Hyunjin replied with a wide smile. “My friend lives around the corner so I’m going to hang out with him for a bit but I thought I’d come up to say hey, happy new year.” 

He shrugged and your heart melted. 

“Oh, bless you! Happy new year, babe! Got any resolutions?” 

“I don’t know,” he answered lightly, casting his eyes about, nodding his head side to side. “Have more fun? Take more chances?” 

“Sounds perfect.” 

“What about y-” 

“No, do not ask about mine. I cannot even fathom having a resolution about anything right now. Why do you think Teddy’s here? He has to tell me what to do with my life, as usual.” 

As if on cue, Taehyung handed you a glass of wine from a bottle he had taken out of your fridge.  

“I’ll leave you guys to it. Just wanted to say hey. So, hey.” 

“Hey,” you repeated with a wave as he shut the door and left the two of you alone.  

Taehyung sank into the sofa with a sigh that was unlike him and you eyed him suspiciously. 

“What’s up with you?” 

“We’re not here for me, babe; this is your crisis.” 

“No, there’s something going on. You have energy.” 

“It’s really nothing,” he insisted, taking a long gulp from his wine glass.  

“Tell me or I won’t tell you anything. The entire fucking confection, Teddy.” 

He looked at you, blinked slowly, and then put his wine glass back on the coffee table. 

“Hyunjin is leaving.” 

“What do you mean leaving?” 

“Leaving Korea. He’s going to Paris.” 

“What?!” 

“Yeah... But it’s fine.” 

“Fuck off is it fine! He can’t leave! He can’t leave you! Why? Why is he going?”  

You felt betrayed on his behalf. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Taehyung and Hyunjin were perfect together, everyone knew. How could he just leave? You reached out to take his hand but he pulled it back. 

“He got a graduate scholarship thing for the- I don’t know the name, it’s in fucking French, Beaux-Arts school or something.” 

“Aren’t there arts schools in Seoul?” you demanded. 

Taehyung smiled in appreciation of your outrage, but he shook his head. 

“Not like this one. This is a huge opportunity for him; he couldn’t turn it down. I wouldn’t have let him even if he’d suggested it... And anyway, it’s not like we were serious; this was always a casual-” 

“FUCK. OFF. You and your bullshit ‘casual thing’. He was your fucking Morticia, Teddy.” 

“I’m serious,” he said, in the voice that brooked no nonsense. Then he sighed. “He’s been applying for this stuff since before we started seeing each other; this was always going to happen. That’s why we were trying to keep it casual. And I’m happy for him, genuinely. He deserves it. It’s an incredible opportunity and I’m glad that he’s got it...” 

“Just also kind of fucking sucks, too.” 

He began to nod but then it changed to a shake. 

“No. No. No, I’m not doing all of that. He leaves in two weeks. In two weeks, I will be sad. In two weeks, you can have another family emergency and take care of me when I can’t get off the sofa and want to drown in vodka ice-cream floats. But I’m not sad yet, now, because he’s still here. So it’s fine.” 

You looked at him carefully and he let you when you tried to take his hand again. 

“Ok, but also, I am really fucking sorry and you have to promise you’ll tell me when you are sad. You carried me through a break-up and I want to do the same for you.” 

“Oh, darling, I’ll be putting you through your paces, don’t you worry about that.” 

He knocked his glass against yours, as if making a deal, and you forced him to let you give him a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. Then he shuffled to face you properly. 

“Come on, then. That’s out of the way. You can have your crisis. Start from the beginning.” 

That you could do. The start was easy. 

“Ok, so I was with my parents over Christmas and we went to the supermarket...” 

* 

“I just don’t know what to do,” you said when you very quickly reached the point at which things stopped being easy and stopped making sense. “I don’t understand. I don’t know how I feel and I don’t know what to do with that. I have Feelings, Teddy, you know this. My feelings are always big and loud and strong and I know what they are—no matter how unreasonable or disproportionate or stupid, I know what my feelings are. Always. And now I just... don’t? And I don’t know how to find out. And I don’t know what to do or what to say or what anything means and it’s all so confusing and c-” 

“Ok,” Taehyung held up a hand to stop you. “Can I tell you what I think?” 

“That’s literally why you are here.” 

“You have feelings for Yoongi.” 

It made you squirm to hear him say it out loud like that. Something didn’t feel right about it. It made you feel uncomfortable, made you want to shrink away from him and cover yourself. There was a discomfiting churning in your guts that made your body feel weak. You shook your head. 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

You knew that you had started this, that this conversation was happening because you had said to him that you thought that maybe, actually, perhaps, you did have feelings for Yoongi but hearing him say it out loud, such a bald statement like that, made you recoil. You wanted to chop those feelings off at the root- pull them up from the roots before they could sprout. No, you couldn’t have feelings for Yoongi. 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

“I said NO!”  

You picked up a cushion and tried to hit him, not gently, in the face. He had his arms up in front of him before it could make contact and he merely took it from you and placed it on the floor next to him. 

“And I said yes.” 

“KIM TAEHYUNG!” 

You picked up another cushion and he was so shocked that you called him by his actual name, his full name, that this one hit him square in the face. When the cushion fell, he looked at you, open-mouthed, genuinely surprised for a moment, before his face settled into exactly the sort of face a teacher might use on a child who was having a tantrum. 

“Babygirl, I can see you’re getting angry,” he said, using the most patronising tone he could muster. He even reached out and took one of your hands in his. “And what do we know about anger, hm? It’s a secondary emotion, that’s right. So what do we do when we’re feeling angry?” 

“I want you to get out of my house.” 

“No, you don’t,” he said in retort, back to his normal voice. “You want me to say that you don’t have feelings for Yoongi and everything will go back to normal and you don’t have to worry about anything. But that’s not fucking true.” 

You flopped backwards against the sofa and sighed, defeated, feeling an enormous wobble start in your chest. You did your best to beat it back but it still choked your voice when you next spoke. 

“I don’t want to have feelings for him.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because it’s Yoongi.”  

“It is. Why are you saying that like it’s a bad thing?”  

You didn’t want to say it all. You didn’t want this to become clear. You hated the confusion but this would be even worse. Because Yoongi was safe to you; he was your safe space, in a way that was different from Taehyung, and you’d done that. You’d had a safe space; you’d had a boyfriend who was your safe space and it had been your downfall. He had broken up with you for it. You couldn’t lose Yoongi. You couldn’t go through it again; you wouldn’t make it out the other side, you just knew. 

“I love him,” you said quietly, tears brimming. “He’s my friend. It’s too much.” 

Taehyung nodded and thought for a minute or two while you sat sniffling next to him. 

“Yes,” he said eventually. “It’s scary... What about if we made it less scary?” 

You looked at him doubtfully but this was where Taehyung shone: trying to convince you of his visions. 

“Having big, new, romantic feelings is terrifying, but have you ever had a crush? That's fun, right? Like with me and Hyunjin, how I would go into the café and hope he was there and I’d see if he drew a little smiley face or flower on my cup and how I alwa-” 

“I fucking told you you were dotty about him from the start! Playing it cool, my fucking arse.” 

“Yes, yes, fine, I admit it. But it was fun. You remember having a crush, a harmless, cute, little crush that never has to go anywhere-” 

“Like you and Hyunjin, you mean?” 

He rolled his eyes. 

“Ok, fine, that wasn’t a good example, but you know what I’m talking about. That guy who always gets the same train as you, or who lives in your building, who you see from time to time and you get to just go mad fantasising about him and what he’s like and what your relationship would be like and all that. That’s fun, right?” 

Yes, you could remember those feelings. The bubbliness, the fizzing, the curling in your toes and sparkling in your eyes. You didn’t see how that could possibly apply to your situation though. 

“What I’m saying is,” he continued, reading your mind, “can you... lean into this? Lean into your feelings and just... have a crush on him?” 

You looked at him in disbelief.  

“You’re fighting your feelings right now, right? You’re so confused and upset because, as you literally just said, you don’t want to have feelings for him. You’re trying to deny it. I’m saying... don’t. Give in to it. Just to see. Try the feelings on. Maybe they’re not comfortable and you don’t like them and you do want to be just friends with Yoongi. But maybe they are comfortable and you will have clarity on what you want because you’ll have let yourself feel things.” 

“You know I’m not going to pay you for this therapy session.” 

You were pouting, sulking. You didn’t want him to be right—you never wanted him to be right about your life, even though he always was and you were always grateful to him for it in the end. You just didn’t like this part, where he was able to poke around your insides and see you better than you saw yourself. 

He grinned. 

“I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, love. You said it yourself: your feelings are bloody loud. You know what you’re feeling and your feelings are arguing with each other.” 

You sighed dramatically with a heave of your chest. 

“I don’t know how to have a crush on Yoongi.” 

“That’s why you try.” 

“What if I do it and I really do have feelings?” 

“That’s when you tell him.” 

You grimaced at the thought, squashing yourself against the sofa and away from Taehyung. You could never. But you would try this crush thing; it gave you some direction, some way to channel your feelings. You would do it in the hopes that it didn’t work. You hoped whatever you were feeling now would go away. You and Yoongi were just friends. That was the whole point. That was it. Nothing more. You would prove it.  

Your fortnightly dinners were reinstated and the following Friday was your first opportunity to test this out. A crush, you reminded yourself. A cute, innocent crush. You pretended to yourself that your nerves were excitement, that the anxiety was anticipation. That the sweat in your palms and snakes in your gut and the buzzing sound at the back of your mind—all good things.  

It got off to a bad start because Yoongi looked so worn and tired when you saw him. All your nerves were replaced with worry and a sinking in your stomach and a rift opening up in your heart. He insisted he was fine; it was weird adjusting to being back; he was still processing Daegu. He was fine, he said. He was fine. He promised you. And then you could see him making the effort to be a little brighter, to smile a little wider than he wanted to. You loved him, you reminded yourself; he was your Yoongi, your person, your friend.  

“I may have to cancel our next dinner, just so you know,” you told him as you picked up a slice of the pizza he had ordered (which is how you knew he was not fine, not really). “Hyunjin is leaving Korea and I don’t know how Teddy will deal so I want to make sure I’m available.” 

“Oh, he’s leaving? Where to?” 

“He’s going to fucking Paris to become Monet or some shit.” 

You weren’t angry with him, not really, but you were angry with the situation and it was such a clean feeling, amongst the mud of all your others, that you indulged in it. 

“That’s a real shame.-” 

“Yeah, and you never even so much as got to kiss him.” 

His mouth twitched up. 

“Truly the greatest tragedy of my life.” 

“You’ll live.” 

“Yes, but is a life in which you’ve never kissed Hyunjin really a life worth living?” 

“Guess we’ll just have to find out.” 

* 

You felt him relax as the night wore on; he was a little less brittle, a little softer, and you hoped he was feeling better. He had spent weeks living with people--his family—and then come back to an empty apartment to live alone; that would’ve been a tricky adjustment at any time, but especially when his grandfather had just died, and especially because it was him and you knew how he felt about his family, his home, himself.  

His sharp edges worn a little smoother, though, meant that your worry eased and, without even trying to, you were looking at him differently. Noticing things you maybe hadn’t before. His hair was thick and dark and longer than you had ever seen it; it suited him. It looked good when he pushed his hand through it and it immediately fell back in strands over his face. You hoped it wouldn’t annoy him into cutting it off.  

“Your hair looks nice,” you said, without thinking, regretting it immediately when he looked at you, a surprised ‘o’ on his pouty mouth, his eyes wide and disbelieving. 

“Thanks?” 

You felt embarrassment creep up your neck and you didn’t know what to do. You suddenly couldn’t remember what you would usually do or say. You chuckled and bit the inside of your lip, hoping he wouldn’t notice. You wanted to reach out and trail your fingers through it, just a little, a gesture more than a touch but you didn’t know if that was something you would do, as just a friend. Your mind had gone blank. Would that be weird?  

“Yeah,” you said, somewhat pointlessly, to break the silence more than anything else. “It’s um, it’s long. You’ve grown it long.” 

He shrugged. 

“I haven’t really grown it; I just haven’t cut it. My mum said I should. She wanted me to cut it for the funeral actually but I didn’t have time.” 

“No, you look good with longer hair. Really good.” 

That was too much, wasn’t it? All your jitters had returned but it was almost worth it with the way his ears went pink at the tips and his mouth pulled into a pursed, shy pout.  

“I’ll tell her,” he said, a half smirk on his face, making eye contact with you for only milliseconds at a time.  

* 

You were exhausted by the time his apartment door was shutting behind you and, when you got home, you did something you almost never do: you wrote in a journal. It was something your therapist had you do in the immediate aftermath of San breaking up with you, when your feelings were so strong and so many that you couldn’t get your mouth around them, couldn’t parse them because of the way they howled around you in a screaming gale. This wasn’t that, but you had now spent a fortnight with everything buzzing incessantly in your head and Taehyung might have helped (or might not have—jury was still out) but you had to try to find some kind of clarity, to at least purge these feelings so they existed somewhere other than your brain.  

You repeated this over the coming days, scribbling furiously whenever your mind turned to Yoongi (which it did, all too often) and you were relieved when you had to cancel your next dinner together (Hyunjin had left and Taehyung was calling you from his sofa). Relieved because all your writing made the crush thing easy; it was easy in your imagination but you didn’t know how you could do it in real life, faced with the real him.  

You found out a couple of weeks later. You weren’t nervous this time because you felt inured to it by now. You had exorcised your anxiety and you thought you had exorcised the crush, too—you had thought of little else and the familiarity of those feelings was starting to reassure you. All the things you were feeling were things you had felt all along; you had always known he was handsome, and cute, and funny; you already knew he was kind and sensitive and generous. None of this was news to you so you didn’t need to fear romantic feelings or test a crush anymore. He was the same Yoongi he’d always been. 

Then you opened the door to him with half his hair tied in a bun on top of his head and, when you meant to say hello, what came out was, 

“U-h, um.” 

“Hello?”  

He looked at you, theatrically quizzical, and walked past you into your apartment. He placed a box on the counter—dessert—and was peering into the pan on your stove when he noticed you were still staring. 

“What?” 

You merely gestured to your head and swallowed. He mirrored your gesture and looked hesitant. 

“It stops it getting in my face,” he said, unsurely, as if you had been asking for an explanation.  

You could see his cheeks turning pink and he was reaching backwards, as if to take out the hair tie holding it there. 

“No, no!” you exclaimed. “It looks good. Uh...” You cleared your throat. “Really good.” 

You felt a little breathless, your chest a little tight, your stomach fluttering.  

It turned out that, all this time, as you had been writing down, with such confidence, all the things you liked about Yoongi, all his good qualities, all the things that anyone with a crush on him would believe, thinking that it was catharsis, that you were expelling these feelings, you had really been confirming them. You saw his smooth, shiny skin and his dark, narrow eyes, crinkling at the corners when he smiled, when he laughed, when he opened his mouth wide and showed his tiny teeth and it made your heart flutter; you saw his hands, deftly untying the ribbon he had put on the dessert box and it made your own fingers twitch with how much you wanted to touch him; your mouth was dry looking at his pink lips, the strong arch of his cupid’s bow—every time you remembered the name, you remembered Hallowe’en and how much fun you had had, how easily Yoongi had slipped in, and it made you feel warm in a way that also made you wobble. It made you feel soft and scared and like this wasn’t just a crush.  

You shook your head to dispel the thought and set about serving up dinner. You ate it, as you always had, at your little makeshift table, and you talked and you tried to concentrate on the things he was saying, but he was so close to you, always so close to you in the confines of your miniscule apartment, that you found it difficult not to let your mind wander. You could barely remember what it was like to kiss him—that night was still a blur—and it made it all the more tantalising. This knowledge that you had, somewhere in the recesses of your mind, you imagined it coming back the second you kissed him again; you would remember it from that night but it would also feel like you had kissed him a thousand times already, like your mouths knew each other in lifetimes before, like somewhere your souls had previously met and you had been doing this all along.  

“So?” Yoongi asked, nudging you with his foot and bringing you back into the room. 

“Huh, what? Yes.” 

He grinned, knowing he had caught you not listening. 

“My birthday party; will you come?” 

“What?! Oh my god, it’s your birthday?! Of course! Happy- wait, when is it?” 

His eyes were crinkling again and your heart was skipping beats. 

“9th March, a few weeks. Party is on the 10th.” 

“Obviously, I would love to come. What do you want?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean as a present. What do you want for your birthday?” 

He shook his head. 

“Nothing.” 

“Yoongi, I have to get you something.” 

“No, you don’t. I don’t want anything. Just come.” 

You rolled your eyes. You decided not to fight with him because you needed to preserve your energy for worrying about what to get him.  

* 

Usually, you had dinner and dessert and sometimes an extra drink or two and that was it, but you didn’t want this night to end. You hadn’t been spending time together outside of these dinners and you wanted to maximise this time; you didn’t want him to leave. Not yet.  

“Want to watch a film or something?” you asked as you stood from your stool and piled dishes in the sink. 

“Oh, uh, ok, sure.” 

“You pick; the remote’s on the table, I think. I’ll wash up while you choose.” 

“I can wash up.”  

He was moving next to you, reaching for the bowls in your hand. 

“Fuck off, babe. I’m doing them. You go and sit down.”  

You fixed him with a determined glare and he backed down. 

“What sort of films do you like?” 

“I’m best friends with Teddy; I promise you, I can sit through anything. Put on whatever you like.” 

“Tazza?” 

“Yeah, sure, what’s that?” 

When there was only silence in response, you turned around from the sink to see him looking at you in shocked incomprehension. 

“What do you mean, ‘what is that’? Have you not seen Tazza?” 

“Haven’t heard of it.” 

“How is that even possible? Come here right now, we’re going to watch it.” 

“Give me a minute!” 

* 

You pushed your luck, pushed your nerves to the limit. You curled yourself into Yoongi, telling yourself that you would happily sit like this with Taehyung so why should Yoongi be any different? You were the only one who knew it was different; there was plausible deniability all over this thing! You stretched your legs out over his lap and, eventually, he rested a hand on your knee; it was heavy and warm and distracting. You shuffled down and rested your head on his shoulder; you hoped he might shift and put his arm around you, or if not around you, at least over the back of the sofa so you could snuggle down further, smell the detergent on his shirt, maybe feel the hair at the nape of his neck. He didn’t. You tried not to be disappointed. 

You also tried to follow the film, you really did, but when Yoongi’s other hand came to rest next to his other, just a little higher on your leg, over your thigh, you found yourself incapable of paying attention to anything else. You wanted to take his hand, hold it, lace your fingers with his. You wanted to trace the vein on his hand all the way up his arm, wondering if it was true what the Greeks said and it really did go all the way to his heart. You didn’t do that. You just kept staring at it, imagining that you could.  

You tipped your head up to look at him, the profile of his face; a loose strand—freed from its elasticated prison—fell over his eye and you couldn’t resist the urge to try to tuck it gently behind his ear. It immediately fell forward again when he turned to look at you. The swoop in your stomach almost made you gasp and you flicked your eyes back to the TV screen, feeling the heat in your cheeks and the stutter in your heart.  

* 

When the film ended, you wanted to think of something else to get him to stay longer but it was already late and he was already stifling his yawns. So you let him get up, you forced him to take back some of the yakgwa he made (he may have missed that class but he certainly made up for it; they were better than any you had ever attempted), and you closed the door behind him with a sigh.  

You reminded yourself that this was a crush. It was a fun, harmless, innocent, little crush. That was all. Nothing to get carried away with. Nothing to be scared of. Just a crush. A crush. 

But it was also Yoongi and your heart was starting to ache.  tags: @chimmisbae, @idkjustlovingbts @miriamxsworld, @quarter-life-crisis2, @tarahardcore, @simp47koreancrackheads, @xyahrinx, @olyd, @diorh0seokie, @thelilbutifulthings

Chapter Eight | Masterlist | Chapter Ten

[aragonlediagon]

sillies

Hi my ff6 team again. This took way longer than expected oof

I wonder if anyone can find the little secret I put in it hehe :)

[smolweeblets]

Sleepytime

Junker queen x reader

Loud, passive-aggressive sighs were heard as your girlfriend tried to not-so-subtly hint at you to pay attention to her. After getting tired of doing that for almost 5 minutes, she finally gave in and said something.

“Oi! Get over here already! Been fighting the sleep demons for like 10 minutes.” She calls out for you.

A yawn escapes her as she impatiently waits for you to come to bed. The frown on her face only grew deeper the longer she watched you work.

It took a few seconds for you respond, too absorbed in your work to answer immediately. Absorbed enough in your work in fact, to not notice the large ominous figure that materialized behind you.

“I said just a sec, im not done with this and- Ahh!” Before you could even finish your sentence, you were slung over her shoulders and being carried back to bed.

Sleep was overtaking her brain, and so she wanted nothing more than to get some shut-eye, but she’ll be damned if it was not while cuddling with you. The only other solution was to wait for you to finish whatever it was that you were doing on your laptop. But in her own words. “The sleep demons are draggin’ me down, i can feel myself slippin’

“Heyy! Odessa let me go!” You giggle as you playfully beat at her back.

“No. Its sleepytime.” She grunted out while still frowning, shes not very happy at the fact that you made her have to get up the bed.

“But I have things to do!” You whined as Odessa stood still by the foot of your bed. She was trying to figure out how to put you down for the least chance of escape.

“And I have sleep to catch, so do you. So we should sleep. Together.”

You were dropped on the bed, and she went on top of you, trapping you in her arms.

“Oof–” Some of the air was knocked out of your lungs at the sudden impact, but you find it was incredibly hard for you to struggle when Odessas arms felt this warm and secure.

“But I was almost done–” You whine.

She shuffles a bit so she could comfortably lay beside you while still having a secure hold on your body. She lay on her stomach while her arm was positioned firmly around your waist.

“Then do it tomorrow.” She managed to grunt out. She yawned again. Her eyes were already closed, and slowly it was getting harder and harder for her to talk.

You pouted and let out a small huff.

“Fine. But dont expect a morning kiss from me then.” You crossed your arms and turned your head away from her for emphasis. You peeked back at her only to see her face fully buried in the pillows.

“Mnggghh” Was all she could muster to grumble while she snuggled closer to you. Not understanding a word you said.

“Ugh. Fine, im going to sleep, but dont think your cute face will help you every time you do this.” You scoffed while smiling. You huffed as you pulled the covers over the both of you.

~~~

Lets be honest here, you still gave her that kiss the next morning. And if you didnt, she made you give it to her anyways.

A/n: Hi guys please accept this very short fic for a new fandom i wrote at 1am because i feel bad for leaving you guys for so long but i swear its the last week of our school please be very patient with me until then i love u guys mwah

[rin-and-jade]

Petrified like Medusa: A Post about Catatonic Dissociation. (more like how catatonia and dissociation work, creating a devastating combo. oof!)

Have you ever got that feeling where you cannot move your limbs, say a word, or even breathe? Do you feel like all your functions had stopped as if it's a statue? Where everything ceases to a halt as your body betrays whilst doing your daily activities? Something else might felt wrong and odd too;

It's not just your imaginary,, it is something real that us, systems sometimes experience. May this post bring you understanding of today's topic!

The difference between catatonia and dissociation

Catatonia is similar to freeze response, the only difference lies on the reason, which is: it is usually a byproduct of something (usually by overwhelm), while freeze activates from stressful situations. Being catatonic means:

Stuck in a position, no matter how uncomfortable or what pose you're at.

Find it hard to execute/keep up with basic actions such as eating, drinking, breathing, or even blinking!

You find yourself actively struggling/fighting against the heavy friction of the unmoving body. Or is absent from any forms of thoughts, seemingly empty inside out.

Stiff, rigid movements, making soft skills harder to perform.

--

Dissociation on the other hand, is an active defense that works by flinging you out from there by any means. Making you feel physically + emotionally detached, and mentally not engaging the situation. It is a veil that blurs the details and such, minimizing as much damage as possible.. it can look like:

The world looking a bit slow, distorted, or unclear.

Tactile sensations and sounds feel toned down and damped.

Your thoughts and movement may or may not get sluggish/lagged.

Memories feels fuzzy, preventing clarity of the situation.

How it affects us, systems..

Catatonic dissociation can happen when we are faced with inevitable, stressful moments. Depending on how bad the situation is,, when you're dissociating, catatonia can slowly creep up on you and petrify everything from top to bottom.. like medusa; This alone can hinder the communication and body coordination in systems.

Luckily, you can be aware of the warning signs soon before it sets in, pay attention to:

Feeling a huge reduction in movement, or have confusion of it.

It's harder to speak clearly, possibly restricting volume or vocals.

You are unbothered when someone is pushing you, for example. And stayed passive/still trying to process what happened.

Finding yourself standing/sitting/etc longer than you'd expect to.

A change in switching patterns, or show clear struggle in attempt.

Things feels like it skipped a beat, and you 'snapped out' every few moments. As if you were put into a trance.

--

Additionally, catatonia-like dissociation can also happen when you are in the middle of the process of a switch, feeling extra blank and unmoving until a new fronter completely took over, too! To minimize discomfort and possible injuries, practice caution by choosing a safe, comfortable spot beforehand.

The takeaway and tips to overcome this:

This episode is temporary, lasting from a few minutes to an hour or two (there might be instances that it will be longer). Frequency is subjective,

There are things that can be done to ease and lesson such discomfort or struggles; starting from planning a tactic for this situation, minimizing current triggers/stressors, finding a spot to lay down/sit although it'll be hard.. so take this step steady, and stay comfortable until it disappears by itself. Grounding techniques could help, though i have not tried them myself, feel free to test the theory.

Lastly, this concludes the end of the post! Thankyou for helping me decide which to do first, so please expect the other one to be out in a few weeks as i go down the rabbit hole, yet again. If you find this interesting, or helpful, or worthy of being shared to other people, i will appreciate every one of you who had read 'til the bottom of the post <3

- j, a very happy one