#ooc i am actually getting a kitten!

[the-molderrrrr]

GUESS WHOS GET KITTY TOMORROW. ME BABY. YEAHHHHHHHHHHH

[temis-de-leon]

Pick me girls and OM! Brothers - Part 2

Characters: Satan, Asmo, Beel and Belphie (x reader, separately)

Part 1 - Lucifer, Mammon and Levi (x reader, separately)

Part 3 - Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon and Simeon (x reader, separately)

Masterlist

CW: pick me girl behavior, one of these girls is actually really stupid, suggestive, mentions of sex between the brothers and mc, mentions of violence, a bit of magic, mentions of cheating (not actual cheating), nightmares, implied death, jealous mc, some fluff, some hurt, some comfort, still ooc but i had even more fun

.

Satan

Your boyfriend looked more offended than you ever had the chance to feel.

The cashier at the bookstore barely had the time to say anything about her supposed romance with the demon before he appeared in his signature pose: a hand in his hip and the other one over his chest.

He had been a regular for years and you didn't know if the girl had been delusional enough to believe she had something with him or if she was just jealous and wanted to make you feel bad.

You weren't sure which one was sadder.

"Am I hearing this correctly?" he said with spite, distracting you from your own thoughts "Are you so daft you were considering me reciprocating your feelings?"

The girl lowered her gaze, clearly embarrassed, and for a moment you felt guilty. Maybe she really thought she had something mutual going on with Satan; a crush that went too far in her own imagination.

She proved you wrong, however, when not only did she give you a side eye, but also said the most stupidest thing one could ever muster.

"Well, obviously you are so daft you chose them over me"

You couldn't waste time on feeling hurt; not when Satan was showing his fangs, letting his tail scratch the floor as it lashed behind him. As hot as he looked like this, it was not the moment nor the place to show his demon form in a fit of rage.

The stupid cashier seemed proud of getting a reaction out of him, finally catching his attention. Maybe she was a demon of wrath too? Maybe that's how she flirted with other demons?

The poor thing would be lucky if she ever lived to see another day.

Let her discover that fact on her own.

"She's not worth it, Satan" you urged, pushing him to the door "Let's go to that cat cafe you mentioned earlier. You said they had new kittens, right?"

That seemed to do the trick.

He looked at you with love, still mixed with anger and bewilderment, but not enough for you not to hold his hand and lean against him.

"I'm sorry, my dear" he murmured, then he spoke louder "Do not believe a word she said"

"I would never"

"Good"

He nodded to himself, like the idea of you believing the cashier was too stupid to even consider it, but neither of you could ignore how his hand stiffened in yours for a second.

"Let's go see some kittens" you said in a singing voice, leading him in the street towards your destination.

You failed to see the adoration in his eyes.

Asmo

This succubus dated Asmo long before you were even an idea in your parents' minds and she wanted you to keep that in mind.

She wanted you to know that everything you knew, she knew better (a blatant lie) and that Asmo preferred experience over novelty (ew).

"I remember the times we went to the sauna and... Oh, sorry, does he take you to the sauna?"

"He invited me a couple of times, yes" but I had to say no or else I would've boiled alive.

"And does he...?"

Does he. Does he. Does he.

He does. HE DOES. HE DEFINITELY DOES.

In which moment did you think going to The Fall was a better plan than doing each other's skincare routine while making fun of 50 shades of Grey?

The both of you could be criticizing that poor excuse of BDSM right now (before recreating the correct version), but, instead, Asmo was ordering the girliest cocktail ever made while this Camila Cabello wannabe harassed you.

"...that was a little joke between us"

Lord Diavolo she just kept going.

"I'm so happy you remember so well your past relationship with him" you intervened with a strain in your voice, "but maybe it's time for you to stop and leave"

The succubus smirked with a smugness that made your innards burn from the inside out.

"Don't get jealous! I'm sure he loves you too"

Oh my Lord.

The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch.

"Hon', look at this!"

There he came, your savior, dressed in a skimpy dress with hands full of shimmery drinks and a glint in his very beautiful loving eyes.

"They didn't have human beverages, but I swear the taste is impeccable, you'll love it! Just let me take a picture for Devilgram first"

Camila Cabello, as you had finally decided to call her, cleared her throat in search of the demon's attention. Asmodeus looked in her direction, obviously trying to remember who she was.

"Asmo, baby!" she was nothing but a smile full teeth and a mission. Her gaze a little desperate "Remember me?"

Her determination died, however, when Asmo's expression turned shocked after studying her. He grasped his chest in sorrow as he asked the funniest question you could hear at the moment.

"What are you wearing?"

Camila Cabello was finally at a loss of words and you briefly wondered if this had ever happened to her.

"If you're gonna meddle in my relationship with MC at least take effort in looking decent"

His expression was sweet, saccharine, but there was an underlying seriousness in his voice.

He was so beautiful. And he was all yours.

Beel

She was one of the boys, apparently. Beel had definitely never mentioned her, but the girl only laughed when you told her that.

"Wow, controlling much? Does he have to tell you about every friend?"

Well, no, Beel didn't have to inform you about everyone he's ever met, but your boyfriend was sweet enough to want you in every aspect of his life, thus introducing you to his friends, his teammates and even his gym bros.

Definitely not to this girl.

You looked at her in disbelief, licking your teeth with a calculating glance. How much would Beel care if you hit this airhead with a dumbbell?

"We hang out together almost every day" she boasted, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger "It's not even weird for me to be in the boys locker room"

Were you strong enough to throw a dumbbell?

Surely she'd rather be with them instead of you if she was 'one of the boys', no? Why would she be in the bleachers with you, waiting for the team to finish their training, when she could be in any other part of the field doing exercise or playing for another sport?

"I'm not making you insecure, am I?" asked the girl in poorly faked innocence "If he loves you so much you should have nothing to worry about"

"Oh, I trust him" you assured her, but you didn't sound as confident as you wanted to. Although Beel never gave you any reasons to doubt him, it was difficult to defend your relationship when this girl was so convinced everyone was in love with her.

"That's so cool"

You decided to ignore her and her mocking tone, hoping to end the conversation right there, but she just kept talking. It was obvious she wanted to get under your skin.

For what? you wondered. Did she expect Beel to leave you if she batted her lashes fast enough? Did she know Beel at all??

"Oh, Beely!"

You cringed with a scowl visible to everyone around you. Some of Beel's teammates laughed at your missfortune, while the others, the ones you liked best, turned around in horror and left without a second glance.

Wether he was oblivious or just didn't care, Beel wasted no time in running towards you with a smile on his face.

"Did you see me?" he asked, looking up to you with a boyish grin and brightened eyes.

"I'm always looking at you"

Beel blushed, his smile still obvious in his face, but he couldn't get another word in before the girl talked again.

"I was looking at you too"

You rolled your eyes and Beel immediately stared at you with a curious glance. He hummed in response, ignoring her once again as he reached out for your hand to caress your knuckles.

"There's a new limited edition menu in a restaurant near RAD"

No questions added nor needed. You smiled at him and nodded, bringing his hand to your lips to kiss it. A promise for later.

"Noo, we used to go there so much..."

"Can you stop?" Beel interrupted her with a deadpan expression "You're making MC uncomfortable"

The girl looked at him in surprise, mouth wide open, clearly not expecting to be snapped at.

She didn't dare to look at you after that.

Belphie

It wasn't the first time you dreamt about this girl and it wasn't the first time you dreamt about her stealing your sloth of a boyfriend.

She wasn't some mystery girl, but rather Belphie's old seatmate, the one he had before you were kidnapped admitted in RAD. A quiet doe-eyed succubus that looked at him like he was the best thing that ever happened to both human and demon mankind.

She'd tried to sit next to him a couple of times with no avail, always getting rejected in your favor. Then, Belphie and you started dating and she stopped trying. You'd innocently thought she'd surrendered.

But not only did she search for him the very few times you guys weren't next to each other, she also ignored you completely when you were there.

Ignoring her back was easier said than done.

And this time, the oniric version of her wasn't just stealing your boyfriend. This time, he was willingly going to her, making your heart hurt so much it made you wake up with what felt like broken ribs.

It took you a couple of minutes to pull yourself together and not push Belphie away when he brought you back to his chest. The image of him kissing her while looking at you was engraved in your mind.

So, although sweating and hurting both from your heart and your confidence, you forced yourself to sleep.

You didn't notice just how awake Belphie was.

Back when you were still friends, you had allowed him to introduce himself into your slumber each time you had a nightmare. Images of you dying under the jaws and claws of faceless demons disappeared faster when the real Belphie was there. Ironic, isn't it?

He tried to stop every single one of them, but sometimes he was so deep in his own dreams it was proved to be impossible.

You thought this was one of those occasions, but, alas, you were wrong.

Days passed without any new event and Belphie mentioned nothing about your initial irrational coldness towards him, which made you feel a tiny bit better. Eventually you'd get so embarrassed about the situation that you had no other option but to dote on him like the brat he was, leading to a whole weekend sprawled over his bed in the attic.

The girl was still there, although not as persistent with Belphie, and she avoided you like the plague, with fright in her eyes.

So he did something about her, didn't he? But how did he know? And what did he do? You wanted to ask, curious as ever, but as time went by and the eyebags under her eyes started to occupy her entire face, you decided against it.

Barely a month later she disappeared without leaving trace. And since Belphie didn't even acknowledge her at all, why would you?

Tagging a little more: @hello-gloomy @the-sassiest-toaster @hero-nii-blog @yourlocalyin @elaemae

[nakedtoasterr]

Male reader month | April edition

This one is late so I apologize but life happens, hopefully I can get into a rhythm of getting these done before the end of the month.

I added 3 experimental fics this time around. Two of them are character x GN reader and the other is a Fem character x Male reader. I’m hoping you all will enjoy these and please tell me if you don’t! I won’t add any in the future if that is that case

Ps: if anyone wants to help with these hmu im so slow 😰

Sfw male reader

Kittens; scoups | @seventeenficsformalereader

Scoups(?) x male reader

None listed

—

A Tease | @moonbyulsstuff

Kaidou x male reader

None listed

—

Tea at 9pm | @anystalker707

Vinsmoke Sanji x GN!Reader

babygirl sanji / wholesome relationship / reader is a writer who keeps a journal with the crew's adventures / extremely fluffy ending

—

Izuku midoryia x male reader | @odue-sp

Izuku x male reader

m/n has a problem with personal space and people touching him. m/n's quirk is tendrils, he is able to form them anywhere on his body they're usually invisible (warped areas). They're supposed to be visible but he's able to make them disappear.

Top male reader

Soft yandere Aether x MR | @dvlboy

Aether x male reader

Soft yandere aether

—

Sub/bottom Dottore and pantalone hc

@bazthefirstborn

Dottore/ pantalone x male reader

crying, (A LOT) spit, sensory deprevation, rp, bj's, (m reader recieving) just general gay men activities

—

who loves to be marked? | @chaepink

Izuku/Bakugo/kirishima x GN!reader

dom!gn!reader, suggestive, marking, biting, spanking

—

Tony Stark x Younger Poolboy Male Reader hc

@justice-maul

Tony stark x male reader

Sub Tony, age gap (not specific), porn with plot, reader is muscular and tall, manhandling kink, cum, degrading praise, humiliation, mentions of rough sex, and making out (tell me if I messed any, I didn’t double check this)

—

Bottom male reader

Daddy’s home | @dabisbratz

Gojo x male reader

light angst, daddy kink, bottom male reader, finger sucking, fingering, apology sex, dubcon (gojo’s a lil pushy but everything is consensual), dacryphilia, dirty talk, praise, biting, reader’s kinda bratty, possessiveness, established relationship, secret relationship, reader’s a regular civilian, anal sex, spit, mating press, sexualizing gojo’s thermographic xray vision, amab body terminology

—

Momo x male reader | @trafalgarya

Nsfw head canons

mommy kink, penetration, strap-on, oral (giving and receiving), soft dom!momo yaoyorozu, sub!male reader, praising kink, sex-toys, teasing, orgasm control, begging, nipple sucking, masturbation, use of "slut", a bit of ooc ig, analingus (receiving, mention of giving too)

—

The Devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy

@adoniss-tales

Gabriel x male reader

corruption kink, guided masturbation, praise kink, voyeurism, pet names (reader receiving), p.w.o.p, no actual penetration : reader is a follower of gabriel, but not an alternate. . Gabriel is referred to as "Mister Gabriel" once.

—

Ayato Petplay | @vikeii

Ayato x Male reader

pet play, established relationship, everything is consensual!!!, puppy play, mild praise kink, cockwarming, dumbification, male reader, belly bulge, mild overstim, mild nipple play, collars and leashes !! he/him pronouns for reader, amab reader, marking, biting

Hey y’all!!! I know I’m super extra late but I really did try… I’ll do my best to start earlier in the month so this doesn’t happen again I’m so sorry guys. Tysm for all the support on my last post!!! Seeing all the reposts and hearts really motivated me to finish this one. ❤️❤️

Extra apologies to the ppl I messaged when it was 3 am over here. I’m not my best when I’m bout ready to pass out

[weralika]

i would also love to hear your thoughts about kandreil being codependent and toxic please and thank you 🙏

SORRY I MISSED YOUR ASK SOMEHOW!!!

so lemme begin 🙂🙂

the most dependent one is kevin, obviously, because of raven's partner system and everything. when he transferred to psu, Andrew (whether he wanted that or not) became his partner and Kevin would be so broken when Andrew starts to spend time with Neil more than not.

Andrew is angry about that!! because yes, he wanted to save that stupid boy, but he didn't know Kevin would never learn to be by himself, Andrew would never treat him with that kind of caress (I dare say) if he knew Kevin would become addicted.

so yes, Kevin is addicted

there we can imagine Kevin leaving PSU and crying in his bed with dirty sheets because he misses them so much he can't even do the chores properly (same bro)

Neil is the smartest one 🙂 he quickly realised that they have a strange kind of friendship and he knows that their tension is mutual (somehow??? he was oblivious with Andrew I know, but he just knows they like each other)

he still feels some awe when talking to Kevin because wdym KEVIN DAY is training ME??? is that a dream? wtf

so he would never cross the line!! because of Andrew he learnt the concept of consent and now he's afraid to make a mistake (he is 99% sure that Kevin wants to kiss him but that 1%)

their relationship starts when Kevin gets so jealous he almost tells them to stop flirting and fuck already (bc he knows they do fuck. he has ears, unfortunately)

he only tells them to be quiet bc he has a lot of homework and Neil strikes with "I'm not your homework, but you can do me" like maaaan wtf is that (Kevin blushes, Andrew asks if they want him to go away and then long conversation about kevin not being gay and not being in love with them)

almost instantly they become a wreck!! because Kevin needs so much attention that sometimes he tries to ignore their boundaries!! he is stupid and wants to kiss!! he feels guilty as fuck after being scolded he almost cries (sorry is it too ooc???)

he learns how to be not that demanding (imagine having 2 boyfriends and still it's not enough) and Neil tries to help him (he hugs him actually)

when they are apart, Kevin is sad as fuck but when together he is a little nervous most of the time, because he is too afraid to ruin everything (like he checks if Neil really wants to kiss him)

also this post became just my rant about Kevin but he's really terrified of being a third wheel and tries to give them time alone even if he's so hungry for their attention he has to grit his teeth after saying "I'm going for a run alone because I don't want to interrupt your crazy chemistry"

Andrew is afraid of losing them!! he thinks he's not enough for Neil and Kevin, he's not even so interested in exy and they have so much in common and he is just stupid traumatized boy who can't show affection when Kevin needs it, he's so useless that they don't even ask him about going pro anymore, they do not imagine their future together like andrew does.

they do.

Neil is just a stray kitten in a warm house who thinks he would not spend another night there :D so he tries to make the most out of their relationship! he kisses Kevin 70% times he wants to be kissed, and other 30% is Andrew or no one because they're not in the mood

it turned out not toxic or even codependent I'm sorry ☠️☠️ but I tried to describe my vision or them close (as I can) to canon, not some ugly shit I have in my brain about andrew being (a little) abusive or Neil being a fucking cheater which I am guilty of thinking about!

[froggy-demon]

Oh, Deer - Part One

A/N: This is going to be a looooooong fic, slow burn AlastorxOC, this is just what I have so far. I haven’t liked how OOC Alastor has been written, so hopefully you enjoy :) Part one has one trigger warning: drugs + date r@pe drugs.

Fic Summary Part One: Lilly meets Angel Dust and after a few close encounters is recruited by him to move into the Hazbin Hotel.

Part Two

______________________________________________________________

“LILLY!” My head snapped around at the sound of Velvette’s voice calling my name from across the studio. I flashed a “sorry” look to the  background actor I was attempting to get the measurements of and went to Velvette’s side. 

“Yes Ma’am?” I asked, standing stiffly, anticipating whatever she needed done that would be too boring or annoying for her to do herself.

“I need that fucking idiot off of my set. Now.” She hissed, jabbing a finger out at the offending party. There was only one person Velvette let boil her blood like that, and I didn’t want to deal with them either.

“Yes Ma’am.”

She mumbled to herself, something about cry babies and professionalism and staying the hell away from her as she stomped off to yell at another assistant. I turned my head to fully size up the situation, across the large expanse of the studio sat Valentino on an over stuffed couch with a hand gripping the upper arm of a studio aid who looked like he did not want to be there. Valentino always has a knack for running anything that isn’t his production off course. I held my clip board a little tighter as I made my way over to him. It was always odd to deal with Valentino, if he is causing big disruptions Velvette will call in the big guns, Vox, but for minor disturbances she seems to have no problem making me try to deal with it. Valentino being bored and taking that out on our crew did not qualify as a Vox problem. The clicking of my kitten heals against the floor stopped as I found myself standing in front of Valentino now, though he had not looked up from his hostage. The studio aid had a nervous smile on as Valentino had not let up his grip on the demon at all and as ranting on about ‘loyalty’ and ‘being respectful’. As intimidating as an angry overlord may be, I am far more scared of an angry Velvette than Valentino. 

“Mr. Valentino, may I steal back my aid? I’m afraid he is imminently needed on set.” I said coolly, it’s best to not give him any emotion he can twist just to get a rise out of you. 

“But then who will keep me company? Plus we are having such a good of a time, get someone else to do his job!” Valentino snarled, looking up at me over his sunglasses.

“Allow me to double check sir.” I replied, rolling my eyes mentally. I made a show of looking at my clip board, tapping my fingers on it, flipping between pages and then sighed. “Mr. Valentino, sir, I’m so sorry it would appear that no one else can cover for him. Maybe I can find someone else to keep you company.” He gave a dramatic sigh and released the poor sinner who quickly got up and scurried away. 

“You can keep me company then since you’re clearly not busy today.” He said as he lit a cigarette and flashed me a toothy smile. Right, not busy, sure. I smoothed out my skirt a little, I knew I didn’t want much alone time with Valentino, but I also still needed to actually get him out of the studio and preferably with something to keep him out. 

“Ms. Velvette has asked me to escort you to your suite, or studio” Or anywhere, but here. I stated plainly, he frowned. 

“So that bitch just sent you to get rid of me? Fuck her! I can do whatever I want, I can go wherever I want, she cannot tell me what to do!” Valentino jumped to his feet and picked a vase up off the table and before I could protest, threw it at the wall in frustration. Standing he was more menacing, it felt as though he was nearly double my height now. He adjusted his large fur coat as he took some deep breaths, if I wasn’t obligated to follow the instructions given to me I would have been anywhere but here at this point. I did not want to be the next assistant he quite literally tore into to vent his anger with Velvette. Despite my anxiety, I stayed poised. 

“And, Sir, where is it that you would like to go?” I ask keeping my tone level. Instead of replying he starts furiously texting on his phone. Satan help the soul in the other end. After a few moments he seemed to give up the texting route as he shoved the phone back into his pocket. He looked back at me now and I attempted to not make eye contact, but also not look like I was trying to not make eye contact. 

“My suite. He should be there soon.” Valentino huffed and I nodded in response, allowing him to lead the way to an elevator that would presumably take us there. He looked back at me and as we reached the elevator placed a hand on the small of my back, a shiver ran up my spine. 

“You know Doll, I know you work for Velvette and everything, but this goody-two-shows, all-serious-business thing you have going on is quite…” he took a drag of his cigarette and then blew the smoke into my face. “...Profitable, if you’re ever looking to be bought out.” He flashed me another wide grin, like it was some great opportunity he was offering me to be a porn star instead of a wardrobe assistant. 

“I believe this is your floor, Sir.” I responded, avoiding the topic altogether as the elevator came to a stop. The doors opened straight to Valentino’s suite, it was massive as well of course, but laying on the largest couch in the room was a white spider demon who looked up at Valentino though his eyelashes and flashed a cheesy smile. 

“I didn’t realize you were bringing company, Val.” he teased and sat up. Valentino seemed very pleased to see him and strides across the room to meet him. 

“I was just ensuring Mr. Valentino got where he was going.” I turned to Valentino a bit, though he could no longer care less that I was here. “Thank you, Sir.” I added and stepped back into the elevator to return to work as moans start to fill the room. As soon as the elevator is back to Velvette’s studio I saw her with a line of models in front of her as she tore apart everything wrong with their hair, makeup, and outfits. Without casting a look my way she calls out, “LILLY! It’s about damn time, fucking hell!” And began listing off all of the things she had thought to tell me to do in the last 15 minutes. And so the day dragged on and on and on. 

By the end of my day I am exhausted and I have the choice between going back to my shitty apartment with my roommate who I honestly think is trying to poison me, or go out and drink that worry away. While my feet are tired of these shoes and I know my hair has seen better days, I’ll take alcohol poisoning over regular poisoning any day. I let my hair down and walk myself to a near by bar that I like, they have the best espresso martini on this side of hell by far. I sit at the bar and order exactly that when I catch a familiar shape out of the corner of my eye, it’s that spider demon that was with Val, small ring of hell I guess. He is sat laughing with a group of demons, I don’t give them much thought though because I hear a friendly voice come up behind me. 

“Lilly, sweetheart, fancy seeing you here!” I swiveled around to be face to face with a long time friend, Cherri. She flashed that trademark smile and I knew she was hatching some kind of an idea.

“Hey Cherri, didn’t expect to see you over on this side of hell, you usually prefer to kick it over in Pentagram City, what brings you out?” I offer her the seat next to me and she hops up crossing one leg over the other. She quickly flags the bartender and orders a double shot of tequila. 

“Oh just dropping in on an old mate of mine, have I ever introduced you two? You know HE knows how to party with me, maybe you could learn a thing or two Little Miss Lightweight!” She jokingly elbowed me in the side and I smiled and swatted her away. Cherri threw back her shot and ordered two more doubles, sliding one over to me “Join us?” Cherri got this glint in her eye and I knew that she had made up her mind: I was joining them. 

“You know I can’t keep up with you, not after dealing with Velvette all day and god the tantrum Valentino threw today-“ Cherri grabbed my shoulder and for a moment gave me a very serious sober look, she glanced around and then looked me in the eye again and very carefully told me, “look, absolutely no Valentino talk tonight, okay?” I nodded yes, a little taken aback. Cherri had never stopped me from ranting about work before, but I trust her judgment if it’s that serious. I downed my shot and grabbed my martini, Cherri already have three more doubles in her hands as she hopped down and sauntered over to the exact demon I had noticed a few minutes ago. I suppressed a smile, they looked like they went together. Cherri shooed away the demons at the table with him and he quirked an eyebrow up at me. 

“Aye, haven’t I seen you recently?” He asked as I slid in the booth next to Cherri, she passed out the shots. 

“Angie, this is Lilly. Lills, this is Angle Dust.” Cherri introduced us and Angel stuck out a free hand to shake mine which I accepted. I don’t love mixing work and fun. I don’t know about having a night out with someone else who works for the Vs…but if Cherri knows him he can’t be too bad, right? 

“I believe, we briefly met this afternoon, but let’s leave the work stuff at work.” I said and gave a small smile, taking my next shot.

“I cannot agree more!” Angel said and Cherri laughed. She pulled out 3 small bags with a couple of pills each and held them up for Angel. 

“I hope you don’t think we’re just taking shots all night!” She sang giving one to each of us. 

“You know,” Angel said, popping it in his mouth and washing it down with his tequila, “Val said you were a tight ass, what the fuck does he know!” Angle and Cherri laughed and I sipped my martini as the music playing blared in the background, seemingly getting louder. Tonight might actually not suck. 

And then I woke up. 

I rubbed my eyes awake, trying to take stock of myself and my surroundings, and retracing my steps. Cherri is next to me in bed, okay that’s a start. Is it my bed? Yes. Okay even better. Angel was nowhere to be seen though. Do I remember him leaving? Hell I don’t even remember leaving the bar myself. But I don’t feel horrific so, things could be worse. What time is it? 6am, perfect just in time for work, ugh. 

“Cherri-berry, I have to go to work,” I gently shook her to wake her up, brushing the hair out of her face. “I have to get dressed, if my roommate offers you ANYTHING do not take it, it is poison.” She groans to confirm she heard me and I set off to get my ass out the door on time. I rip off yesterday’s outfit and replace it with a black sleeveless dress with a high slit, run a brush through my hair, brush my teeth and gently shoo a groggy Cherri out the door while refusing the coffee being offered by my roommate. 

It felt like I had been through this day at work a million times. Sometimes all the little problems in productions and costuming just run together, it becomes mind numbing to distinguish between 666 News, whatever newest sitcom we’re running, daytime talk shows, and whatever trash Vox is pushing to melt the brains of sinners. While trying to track down the extra mannequins needed for the next lineup I was pleasantly surprised to see a white tuff of hair attached to some very long legs rounding the corner down the hall ahead of me, maybe he had a better idea of how last night went, or I could at least say it was nice to properly meet him while it’s just the two of us. 

“Angel Dust!” I called out and walked a little faster to catch up to him. “Hello! I just wanted to say-“ I stopped as soon as I rounded the corner, Angel wasn’t alone, Valentino was with him. Val had one arm wrapped around Angel’s shoulders and I think Valentino is one of the few demons that can manage to make Angle actually look small. They had stopped walking, Angle was still staring a head, unmoving, but Valentino was looking at me with an anger I couldn’t explain. A shiver run down my back and I found myself standing very still, I tried to remember not to show emotion, but it’s different when you’re caught by surprise. I didn’t want to be the first one to speak, but I also knew I shouldn’t leave until the silence was broken. 

“Aw c’mon Val, she must be a fan of mine.” He turned around and gave me that same toothy grin as yesterday with a hand on his hip and another twirling a stand of hair. “Tell me, Doll, what’s your favorite video of mine?” He teased. Val did not seem pleased yet though. 

“Aren’t you that bitch from yesterday? Unless you changed your mind about working for me, fuck off.” He growled, and Angel gave me a look that said that’s the best out I’m going to get. 

“Yes Sir, thank you.” I said with a slightly bowed head, I nodded to Angel and promptly turned around to find my way to anywhere but here. Note to self, try not to make an overlord your enemy. I trekked on to find my mannequins for Velvette and got on with my day.

I wanted to go home and curl up in bed, but if I did that I would only think about how utterly stupid I had been today with Angel and Valentino. Not only could I barely keep my cool, it was ridiculous to even try to say hi to Angel at work in the first place. Nope, I did not want to wallow in my own self pity and hatred at home all night. So I went out, hoping to find some club to lazily move though and let someone buy me one too many drinks until all the sudden it’s tomorrow and I can repeat the whole damn cycle again. I walked a few blocks before I finally found somewhere that looked right, Nightmare Nightclub, and once I was in I made my way up to the bar. I tried to flag the bartender, but she was quite busy. 

“You have such lovely hair, has anyone ever told you that?” I felt an arm snake around my waist as he said it, but I didn’t know that voice. I turned my head to see whoever this stranger is and was met with the sight of a red hell-borne with blue horns just a few inches longer than his hair, and a wide smirk. He wasn’t bad looking, but the night was juuust starting. 

“Y’know I don’t think they have,” I spun around in place so I was at least facing him as he held onto me. “You can tell me just what else looks lovely on me if you can get the bartender to put a drink in my hand.” I smiled and he seemed eager to take on the challenge, puffing up his chest and going to get the bartender’s attention. While he’s busy I scan the room, it’s mostly dance floor that’s hard to see too much though with the mass of people mixing with the low and colorful lights, then booths lining the wall for any interested in a less public place to talk. If it wasn’t proving so hard to get a drink myself I might have walked off in that moment, but I needed something to distract myself. 

“You didn’t say what to get so I figured we’d start off with something quick, a whiskey neat for the lady, and for me” he chuckled as he handed one of of the glasses, not my drink of choice, but that’s what I get I suppose. I knocked it back and set the glass back down on the bar just a step away. 

“Thank you, that’s the least horrible tasting whiskey I’ve ever had!” I smiled a little at my own joke as he drank his and set down his own glass. The demon placed his hands on my hips from behind me, I became suddenly aware of the sharp nails at the end of fingers, more like claws than hands.

“Why don’t you join me at our booth? I know some people who I think would like meeting you.” He said into my ear. Normally I’m more hesitant, but I let him walk me over to a booth far from the entrance and the dance floor, but at least it was a little quieter over here. When we got there there were 4 other similar looking demon men sitting there. “Gentlemen I’ve found a lady willing to keep us company, don’t scare her away.” He teased his friends as we sat down, one of them motioned to a passing waitress and she nodded, assumingely for drinks. “I’m so rude though, what was your name?” he asked me as the other man beside me put his arm over my shoulders and the original demon’s arm found its way back to my waist.

“Lillian, but please, I prefer Lilly, and you?” I asked him and then glanced at the others around the table. The waitress brought over a tray of drinks and some shots for the table and began setting them down. 

“Sebastian, these are just my friends that I’m out with tonight.” He slid a cocktail in front of me, “Another drink? Maybe this one will be a bit better than ‘least horrible’." He watched me try my drink and admittedly it was pretty good, some fruity mix. "Let me know when you want another, you're drinking on me tonight sweet stuff." That, I don't mind. He sipped his whiskey and began to fiddle with the hem of the slit on my dress.

I knew his game, get a couple drinks in me and then ditch his buddies so we can sneak off somewhere, that was also my game tonight. Still it's early, I should pace myself this drink must be pretty strong because I felt a little lightheaded already. I realized I needed to know how to make small talk, neither in life nor afterlife has that been my strong suit. "So, Sebastian, when you aren't buying overpriced drinks for girls what are you up to?" I teased, drinking some more.

He seems to think about it for a moment, maybe not everyone wants to talk about their job, or they don't have one to talk about. "Oh nothing too fun, I'd rather hear about you, I think this lot is tired of hearing me bitch about all the stupid fucks at work." He said earning a couple of laughs from the other demons. I glanced around the table and Sebastian pressed his claws into my side a little, not enough to hurt, but enough to say we wanted a response. He scooted my drink closer to me again, encouraging more. I finished what was left of my drink and more was ordered.

"I don't have time to get up to anything very interesting. I work for 666 News and the rest of the TV studio in wardrobe, or really as a task rabbit for whatever Velvette tells me to do." I say and the waitress brings over another round. Sebastian drums his fingers on me and flashes me another smile. There was a bit of ringing in my ears, maybe the music was too loud for me, but it felt far away.

"Well there are worst way to spend your days here I suppose, they haven't killed you yet so you can't be too shit at the job either!" He says and grabs my second drink from the demon with his arm over my shoulder and gives it to me. "You out here all alone tonight?"

I had to give it to him he was at least charming, scary, but charming. "Well-" I took a sip of my drink, but watched as Sebastian’s face fell into a scowl as he looked out of the booth before I could finish answer. My eyes went to meet what he was looking at, but my ears found it first. 

“There you are tuts! You promised to let me know if you were running off!” It was Angel, but why was Angel here? He looked at the demon with his arm firmly holding my waist, his eyes lacked their usual carefree spirit. “We were just headed out.” Angle Dust reached across the table to grab my wrist, but the two demons had a better grip on me and I was beginning to feel dizzy between my head and the lights. 

I blinked a couple of times trying to make sense of the situation.“Angel, yeah, we wanted some air. I want some air.” I looked back down at my drink and Angel slid it away from me with another arm. He leaned in close to Sebastian and whispered something I couldn’t hear. Sebastian begrudgingly released his grip on me and after a look his colleague did the same and Angel practically yanked me out of the booth. He kept one pair of hands on my shoulders leading me to the door and used the other set to keep people out of our way. 

“You got some self destructive tendencies babe I can tell yah that.” He chirped. I still didn’t feel any better than I had sitting down inside. 

“What can I say, I’m here for a reason.” But I felt far away, and really I was glad Angel was there. We made it outside and I think it is the only time I have been happy to breathe in the ‘fresh’ hell air. 

“Listen I may not know you well, or really even at all, but” he looked away from me, fiddling with his gloves a little. “you gotta be careful going out like that. I’ve seen that scenario play out a hundred times and let me tell yah, 5:1 is not a good ratio. I’ve seen that video babe, hell I’ve made that video. I wouldn’t recommend it.” Angel had one hand on my shoulder and I suddenly felt my face get warm with embarrassment and shame, but I could focus on his words less and less. “You gotta be aware, that guy he-“ 

I'm starting to think he put something in my drink.

I remember being outside and the club had been so hot that the regular air almost stung my skin like the cold. I remember standing up trying to listen to Angel, god he was saying something important too I really wanted to listen. And I remember that feeling of falling, like when you nearly fall asleep and your brain goes into free fall mode. For a second there isn’t really an up or down or left and right, just the air you’re moving through. Luckily I don’t actually remember hitting the ground, judging by my headache though I’d guess it was pretty hard. 

I open my eyes, but this time I’m not back in my room. Is this Angel’s place? It’s…nicer than I imagined. And bigger? I sit up from the couch that I’d been laid on, holding my head with one hand. Hopefully I only bumped the back of my head, Velvette would be pissed if I scratched up my face. Looking around the room, I’m in a library maybe more so a study. It’s me, the couch, a warm fireplace and whole walls of books. Interesting, Angel didn’t strike me as much of a reader. I swing my legs over the side of the couch getting ready to stand up, but my whole body begs me to stay down. I groan as my feet meet the cool floor. 

“Did I hear signs of life?” Thank goodness, Angel. He walked in and leaned down towards me, grabbing my face to make sure I looked alright. I grunted when he lifted my head back and he sighed. “Well you look alright, but you sound like you don’t feel great, huh?” He had this little ‘I-Told-You-So’ look and to be fair he was right. 

“Goodmorning to you too.” I pushed him back and stood up, stretching out the aches on my arms. “Is this your place?” I ask him rubbing the sleep from my eyes. He looks back to the open doorway and then closes the door, as if someone is listening. 

“Yes, and no, mostly no, but I live here!” He said excitedly. He sat me back down and paced in front of me. “So the hotel you see, which we’re in, let’s you stay for free so long as you are ‘working towards redemption’ or whatever!” He explained, using air quotes. Yeah that sounds too good to be true to me. I may be fresh, but it’s not my first day in hell. 

“Yeah and which overlord sold you THAT bullshit?” I crossed my arms, skeptical. Angel furrowed his brow and shook his head. 

“No overlord, it’s run by Charlie Morningstar, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of her. She’s just the Princess of Hell!” That caught my attention. What does the princess care though? “She might be the only actually nice person in all of hell. The rest of the staff is slightly more rough, but not bad.” He sounded like he was building up to something, but how much bigger does ‘You crashed at the Princess of Hell’s place’ does it get? 

“Well I’m glad you’ve got a cool situation going with them, and thank you for looking out for me. You didn’t have to do that, especially since I pissed off Valentino.” Angel looked away from me at that, staring into the fire for a moment. 

“It’s no big deal.” He turned back to me with a wide smile. “My point was though, I was completely under Val’s thumb ‘til I moved in here. You seem to me to be under someone’s thumb too, I’m sure they’d be happy to have yah if you wanted to stay here.” He seemed surprisingly earnest. I mean I pay practically every penny I make to live in a rat infested apartment with someone who I’m pretty sure is trying to kill me, so at worst someone tries to kill me for free right? 

“I don’t know maybe-“

“DID I HEAR A YES?!!” The door flung open and a very smiley blonde stood in the middle, sporting a deep red suit, squealing with excitement. To the side was another demon with long grey hair, missing an eye, but she was focused on the blonde more so than me. 

Angel huffed and tried to shoo the two girls away “NO you did not, you are going to freak her out and scare her away, fuck off!” The Blonde bypassed him and strutted up to me on the couch and held out a hand for me to shake. 

“Pleased to meet you! I’m Charlie! This is my hotel, oh and that’s Vaggie, and you know Angel, and I’ll introduce you to everyone else in a moment, and I can give you the full tour, and we’ll find you a room! I’m so excited!” She grabbed my hands, positively giddy. Can you say no to the Princess of Hell? Would Lucifer swoop in and exterminate me himself? I glanced at the annoyed looking Angel who was staring down Charlie and I smiled.

“I’d love that, thank you.” I replied and she pulled me in for a bear hug, not my thing. She stood back up and smoothed out her suit and I stood too. The other girl, Vaggie it would seem, stepped further into the room and smiled, though it did not seem to come as naturally to her as it did Charlie. I forced myself to stand up and tried to smooth out my hair.

“We’re happy to have you, Angel said it’s Lilly right?” Vaggie asked and held Charlie’s free hand as Charlie had linked our arms. 

“Yes, I’m…happy to be here.” Angel gave me four thumbs up and Charlie lead us out of the room. She excitedly explained her plan, to teach sinners how to be better and get them to heaven in order to avoid extermination by ascending instead. We reached the foyer which lead to most of the main level rooms, and where it looked like she had gathered the rest of the hotel staff. 

“Lilly this is Niffty, our maid-“

“Reporting for duty!” And then she flung a dagger at a nearby roach with a menacing laugh.  

“Husk, the bartender-“

“Nice to meet you.” He did not look up from the glass he was cleaning and inspecting, but it was more than nothing. 

“And, uh-“

I felt a hand land on my shoulder and heard someone clear their throat directly behind me. “I’m Alastor, charmed to meet you!” His voice sounded like it came from somewhere entirely detached from his body, as if it was being filtered in some way. I flinched at the surprise contact and looked up at the demon responsible. 

He had the widest toothy grin I’d ever seen, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, they carried a sinister look that felt like he was seeing every weak point of mine in that moment. His suit was similar to Charlie’s, though more refined. Really her suit was a less nice version of his. He took a step away, removing his hand and stood by Charlie’s side, smile never faltering. I knew that name, that voice was familiar, why can’t I place it?

“-The Hotel’s manager!” 

“Alastor is an overlord," Angel whispered in my ear "but he just got back from being missing, I can’t figure out his deal, but I thiink I’m wearing tall dark and handsome there down.” Angel threw a wink to Alastor. Of course, that voice. Who could forget his broadcasts, not that long ago it felt like. I can’t believe here he is just standing here, playing with the Princess of Hell. What the fuck is this place?

“Please to meet you all, I’m Lilly, thank you for letting me stay here.” I said keeping my even tone that I usually save for work. I don’t want to come off cold, but also I also can’t immediately be a target here. I mumbled chorus of ‘Hello’ and ‘whatever’ comes from the staff. 

“Okay babe, I think she gets the idea, let’s try not to overwhelm new guests.” Vaggie says to Charlie, giving her hand a squeeze. Charlie gives her a soft smile and then turns back to me. 

“Ooookayyy! You are welcome to find a room that can be yours and explore the place. If you get lost we are never too far away!” Charlie said and then Vaggie and her set off back to whatever they had been doing before I woke up. Husk sighed in relief and went back to straightening his bar, pouring himself a drink. Niffty scurried off presumably to stab more bugs. I turned to Angel, who I guess at this point is my new friend, and he seemed to know what I was thinking. 

“Yes there is a super fucking cute room across the hall from mine that you should take, I’ll show you the way!” Angel lead me up the grand staircase and we made our way up to the 6th floor. 

It was a lot to take in. Getting roofied, and now I live in Rainbow Hotel with Princess Sparkles and an incredibly murderous deer demon? Cool, that’s totally normal. 

“Angel, can I ask-“ I paused to wait for his confirmation. “-should I never say hello if I see you at work? Valentino seems particularly.. territorial over you. And frankly he is fucking intimidating as shit on his best days.”  I look at my feet as we walk down the hall and Angel doesn’t respond for a moment. 

“Yeah, it’s fucking stupid, but Val has a short temper so I tend to avoid it the best I can. That’s probably the only fucking thing that would make him happy, if he was the only demon in all of hell who got to talk to me.” Angel was pissed off, and he had every right to be. He took a couple deep breathes and smoothed his hair. “So that should work, don’t worry though, babe, that’s just work. Here are our rooms!” Angel beamed with pride at his bedroom door, it was decorated though mostly it looked like with notes from Charlie. He walked over to a blank door just a step across the hall for his long legs. “This one is yours!”

We walked in and it was more than my apartment was that’s for sure. Nothing fancy, a bed with white duvet and pillows, a dresser, and a desk with a lamp, but it was still more than enough. For the first time since arriving in hell I almost actually felt lucky. “Oh it’s perfect! This bed is twice the size of mine back home!” I flopped onto the bed and dust rose up around me, causing a coughing fit. “Okay maybe it needs a clean before it’s perfect perfect.” We both laughed and he walked towards the door. 

“Try to get some more sleep tonight, we’ll worry about how shit it looks tomorrow!” And he went back to his room across the hall. I tried to lay down, but my mind was racing and even though I knew I was alone it felt like I was being watched by an unseen party. I huffed and dragged myself back downstairs, to the bar, what are the odds Husk is still there? If he isn’t is it totally against the rules to get a drink myself? Luckily he was there and he rolled his eyes when he saw me.

“Haven’t you had enough tonight, given you were literally drugged just a few hours ago?” He asked dryly, folding his arms over his chest. I sat down on a barstool in front of him and waved off his question. 

“Oh please, I had one little sip that just put my out of it for a little bit. I’m fine now and looking for something to occupy my mind. Can I please have a drink, Sir?” I smiled unconvincingly, batting my eyelashes at him sarcastically. 

“Ah whatever.” he huffed and began mixing something up for me. I kicked my feet a little in the air as I waited. Why does he work here anyway? Clearly he doesn’t seem to like it. Husk sat the drink in front of me on the bar and I happily took a sip, admittedly this mystery concoction was pretty good. “Anything else you need from me tonight?” 

“Hmm, a vodka double shot to-go should have me set for the night.” He grabbed a second glass and poured exactly that for me. I traced the rim of my glass with one finger and decided to ask one last thing. “Hey I know it’s my first night and all, but…do you ever get the feeling someone is watching you around here?” 

Husk looked side to side and then nodded “it’s because you are. Alastor, he can move through shadows. He could be watching and listening from any dark spot here.” Then he raised his voice just a little. “Which is why I only say the mean things about you in my head!” Clearly directed to an eavesdropping Alastor. 

A chuckle came from the corner and out stepped the Radio Demon himself and his grand smile. “So you caught me! It’s always good to know who exactly you’re getting into bed with y’know! Or in this case in a hotel with!” He quipped, leaning on his cane. Husk wasn't kidding. Of all the rumors and stories I've heard about the Radio Demon shadow walking was not one of them, you would think that would be good to know.

“Well, Mr. Alastor, Sir, do you mind at least leaving me be while I try to sleep in my own room?” I asked allowing a hint of sarcasm to drip into my voice, making him laugh. He walked over to me and leaned down slightly so we were eye level. 

“I’m afraid I am not in the business of making promises that I cannot keep my dear!” He sounded cheerful still but I knew he was dead serious. “Also, ‘Mr. Alastor’ is so formal, we’re all friends here! Please, just call me Alastor, but you can keep the ‘Sir’ if you really want.” Husk rolled his eyes at the ‘all friends’ part, but I am still not going out of my way to anger an overlord, even one who did drop off the map for seven years.

“Oh, of course, yes, Sir. Just Alastor it is then.” I replied with a smile. I finished my cocktail and picked up my double shot, hopping down from my seat which put some needed space between me and Alastor. “Thanks for the company, but I think I should try to get a couple more hours of sleep tonight. I attempted to turn and walk away but Alastor appeared directly in front of me, blocking my path. 

“It might be best if I escort you up to your room, wouldn’t want you getting lost or anything happening to our new guest on your way there!” Alastor insisted, looking me in the eye. This wasn’t a request. I suppose it is natural he would feel a little protective of the hotel if he really does care about this, I’m some stranger who is moving in I wouldn’t trust me either. 

“Of course.” I say. He turns around and starts leading the way, humming to himself. We walk in silence to the elevator, the exhaustion of the night starts to set in and my headache comes back, I drink my to-go booze hoping to hell it will help. Once we’re in the elevator I lean against the wall a bit, Alastor raises an eyebrow at me. 

“Tired now are we? Not sure that liqueur is helping any.” He chuckled, eying me. I pushed myself up off the wall and stood up straight, smoothing out my dress.

“It’s been a long day, and an even longer night. I’m very much looking forward to a couple hours of actual rest.” I responded, watching the numbers tick up to the sixth floor. 

“Very well, sleep tight.” He told me with a gentle push to the opening elevator doors. I looked back into the elevator, but he was gone into the shadows. I just went to my room, tried to floof off as much dust as possible from the bed and got a good few hours of sleep, it felt like the first time in a hundred years I had gotten proper sleep. 

part two

[sarafangirlart]

So because i am not so interested in watching the kaos series. Can you describe how Ariadne and Dionysus are portrayed there?

Dionysus isn’t a drunkard (thank god) but he’s a lot meeker here than he is in mythology, like you’ve seen before, it’s like he’s repeating his arc from mythology all over again except worse, Zeus is physically abusive to him (which tbf is accurate to how he treats his children) Hera bullies him which I feel is a bit ooc bc she’s perfectly capable of moving on from her anger and bury the hatchet, she’s done it with both Heracles and Dionysus. However Dionysus being annoyed at Zeus for calling Hera his mother is pretty in character I think. He has weirdly homoerotic chemistry with Orpheus which is hilarious since I’m pretty sure the maenads killed him in mythology. He carries a kitten around which is adorable, then Zeus kills it to prove a point ig. Don’t the Maenads tear animals to shreds tho? I guess this traumatized Dionysus bc he genuinely liked that cat.

Ok now Ariadne, they make her Glaucus’s twin, for some reason the “Minotaur” isn’t Asterion. Minos tells Ariadne and Pasiphae that as babies, Ariadne fell asleep on top of Glaucus and suffocated him to death. Which obviously traumatized them. Idk why they did that, ig it’s to ease her mind bc she has a prophecy that she would kill her brother? Minos later says it’s to make her stronger which like… ok ig.

Glaucus for some reason isn’t actually a Minotaur but a feral man. Y’know it pisses me off bc making Ariadne and Asterion twins could be hella interesting bc imagine them being linked like real twins and for her to FEEL him getting killed in the Labyrinth by Theseus, that juicy juicy angst. Pasiphae forces Daedalus to make wax figures of her son that she thinks is dead, and makes Ariadne stand in as reference, then complains that Glaucus doesn’t have a big nose like Ariadne, I imagine some girls out there can relate to having mothers being overly critical of their daughters ethnic features (not me tho my mom is great).

She’s in her thirties and helps her father maintain his dictatorship (idk much about modern Greek history but I have to imagine it might be insensitive since Greece was under a dictatorship in the past) but she believes that it’s for good and asks her dad to make Crete a democracy like Athens and that ppl would vote for him bc they love him, obviously Minos shoots this idea down. The Trojans low key feel like stand ins for modern MENA refugees which is HELLA insensitive for a multitude of reasons but the one that stood out to me the most is that they use yt British and American actors for the Trojans which really rubs me the wrong way, to use poc suffering for entertainment. Theseus is Astyanax’s bf (but you already knew that) and sides with the Trojans and he “tricks” Ariadne into coming to “Troy Town” (argh which is segregated btw) and they corner her and ask her to free their Trojan prisoners, otherwise they’d keep her as a hostage, which she does then she has the audacity to be mad at Theseus for this when he is completely justified in what he did. Imagine making Theseus more right than Ariadne lol

I don’t understand making Theseus a bodyguard/ rebel spy and removing him from the context of Athens, and why would you write him as supporting Trojans? Didn’t his sons fight against Troy in the Trojan war? Also I think Theseus was killed by the Minotaur? Idk only 7 corpses were shown and he was supposed to be the eighth of this group but he doesn’t show up again.

[your-local-grinning-cat]

‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe…

You have entered the Tulgey Wood, the home of Che’nya. When the curious cat beastman is not attending classes at RSA or out bothering visiting his friends at NRC, Che’nya will usually be found here, wandering his Wood.

Make sure you keep a good grip on your mind - you wouldn’t want to lose it now! - because things are a little different around here…

If you’re curiouser and curiouser - please be sure to read the directions to be directed in the right direction… but not necessarily directly!

Know that you ignore the rules of the Tulgey Wood at your own peril! 😼⤵️

Before you go any further, you should know Che’nya is not alone in his Wood. He has kidnapped convinced his best friend, AR, to live with him! Where Che’nya goes, AR goes. AR is as much a part of the Tulgey Wood and the world of Twisted Wonderland as Che’nya himself is, so do not be surprised when AR and Che’nya interact!

AR is both a character and the roleplayer. How can AR be the roleplayer for Che’nya if they’re also a character? Well, that certainly is an interesting question, isn’t it? I suppose you’ll have to read further to find out. You were warned that things are different around here…

While all of Wonderland is Mad, there are rules here. The Queen of Hearts has made sure of it! Very loudly! And even someone as chaotic as Che’nya listens to the Queen most of the time. But these are AR’s rules and everyone is expected to follow them, even Che’nya!

Rules of the Tulgey Wood

1️⃣ There is an actual person behind this account. Remember that and be kind and respectful. If you break the rules you will either be ignored, told the rule/s you broke and directed to it/them, or outright blocked.

9️⃣ Be a decent human being to everyone - not just the person behind this blog. Racism, homophobia, misogyny, transphobia, etc. are not tolerated here. MAPs and pro-shippers are also unwelcome. If I ever do/say/reblog anything offensive myself, feel free to tell me and I will correct it! I am human and make mistakes.

3️⃣ The admin running this blog is an adult in their mid twenties. Please keep this in mind. For your safety and my own, if you are a minor, I ask that you only interact with me through asks so that I can answer them publicly. That way the entire interaction is in full view of others.

8️⃣ I do not rp in DMs. If I contact you via Tumblr DM or you contact me in DMs, I will be talking to you OOC.

4️⃣ Everything will be answered at my own discretion and time frame. Not only do I have a life outside of this blog, but I often end up putting a lot of effort into just one reply, making my response time a little slow. Because of this, I can easily get overwhelmed with notifications and burnout, so I sometimes need to step away and take breaks. Please be patient, and thank you for understanding!

2️⃣ While this blog is fairly NSFW, as I allow cursing, some smaller horror-esqe descriptions, and can speak of darker topics, one thing that I do not allow is sexual content. While Che’nya is very tactile and highly physically affectionate, the furthest he will go is kissing, nuzzling, cuddling, etc. He may also do some cat things such as scenting, kneading, kitten licks, nipping, etc., but that is as far as I am comfortable with.

6️⃣ This is a multiship blog. Which means that while Che’nya can date multiple people, those relationships will not intersect with each other, belonging in their own pocket realities. Che’nya, being self aware, is unique in that he is aware of all his partners in every reality and is honest with every partner about the situation. So, to him, it’s more like he’s in a polyamorous polycule. But, for the purpose of the blog itself, because his partners will ever interact as fellow S/Os, this blog is multiship.

5️⃣ Other rp blogs and OCs are absolutely welcome! However, if it’s your character’s first time talking to Che’nya, especially an OC, I ask that you either give a brief explanation as to who they are at the bottom of the ask you send or provide a link to an intro post that I can read so I know who I’m talking to and Che’nya can act accordingly. I am not going to hunt down information about your character if you are wanting to interact with me. It would be different if I was reaching out to you. A summary can be as simple or as long as you like. Here’s an example of a short one provided by @castaway-achlys:

“Character is a mild-mannered and typically quiet boy. Despite his past, he's incredibly intelligent and curious about the world, and always has kindness in store for others. He is 18 and in the Ignihyde dorm.”

7️⃣ Much longer rule because it comes with a little added explanation on Che’nya! But it is just as important!

Please refrain from god modding. Che’nya is my character. I do not appreciate it when you try to force him to act like you want him to, you assume he will react/act in a certain way, or you try to force your headcanons onto the character I am roleplaying. This is not the canon Che’nya, nor is this your version of Che’nya. This is my version of Che’nya.

If you do not know what god modding is, here is a link! And before you click on it, know the tone is /lh

Bouncing off of “no god modding,” people may try to complain that my Che’nya is OP because I let him metagame and seem to let him powerplay. (I will not provide links to these terms - if you don’t know them I think the link previously provided will have been enough to tell you what to do to fix that 😂) While I can’t argue with the metagaming, as Che’nya is self aware, I can argue with powerplay.

Che’nya is not all powerful… unless he is in his Tulgey Woods, where he is the Ultimate Game Master and controls everything. But that does not mean he doesn’t have weaknesses, even there. And once OUT of the Wood, Che’nya is NOT all powerful. He is still strong, but he is no longer the Ultimate Game Master. The key would be managing to catch the cat. Which would be incredibly difficult, but it could be done. This is why Che’nya does not often leave the Tulgey Wood. He is well aware of his vulnerability.

Then there is the fact that, even if he is very powerful, enough to even warp reality at times… he has also managed to get his head stuck in a teapot, summoned marshmallows and skewers to roast them but complained he had no chocolate or graham crackers so he couldn’t make s’mores, and has run face-first into walls more than once.

He may be Powerful, but he is also Mad and Silly and that can make him Stupid at times. It would be no fun if he was truly all powerful all the time.

🔟 This blog is run entirely on mobile with only a few exceptions. So please forgive any weird formatting.

Tags are important on this blog! Not only does Che’nya often speak in them (AR sometimes joins in, even when they were not present in the main post), but there are also good sorting tags to check out if you’re interested!

Tagging System

Sorting Tags - Che’nya

#che’nya meows - when Che’nya makes an original post speaking whatever nonsense comes to him

#che’nya chats - when Che’nya replies to asks sent to him… and yes, that is a play on “chat” being French for “cat,” but no, it’s not for you Rook lovers it’s a REFERENCE TO THE BOOK LET ME LIVE MY LIFE 😭

#che’nya wanders - when Che’nya leaves the Tulgey Wood to go visit other blogs and send his own asks, usually to stir up mischief

#che’nya appears - when Che’nya suddenly pops up on a post, often without warning or invatation

#che’nya grins - when Che’nya finds something purrticularly fun, funny, and/or fabulous 😸

#che’nya lore drop - my Che’nya is not the Che’nya from canon… since we don’t know much about him, I have made him my own

So, that being said…

#che’nya the [REDACTED] - when Che’nya does or says something, in the main post or the tags, that reminds us that he is more than just a silly kitty beastman… he is the Cheshire Cat

#che’nya knows no 4th wall - when Che’nya breaks the 4th wall because he is 100% self aware and does not care about architecture

Sorting Tags - AR

#ar speaks - when AR makes an original post IN CHARACTER (sometimes included even if AR only speaks in the tags)

#ar answers - when AR replies to asks IN CHARACTER (sometimes included even if AR only speaks in the tags)

#ar asks - when AR sends an ask to a blog IN CHARACTER (sometimes included even if AR only speaks in the tags)

#ar comments - when AR comments on posts they were not originally involved in IN CHARACTER (sometimes included even if AR only speaks in the tags)

#ar _____s ooc - when AR makes an original post, replies to asks, sends asks, or comments on posts OUT OF CHARACTER, explaining something that is happening to the blog admin irl

Speaking Tags - All

If only ONE person is speaking in/making a post, whether it’s Che’nya or AR, assume the person “talking” in the tags is them, even with no name identifier. However, if both are speaking, they will identify themselves.

#che’nya: Che’nya is speaking in this tag

#ar: AR is speaking in this tag - in character

#ooc: if you see this tag, I am talking as the admin and out of character, but this is not on a post I have made specifically to speak OOC

Event Tags

Whenever there is a fun situation that lasts a while happening on the blog, there will be a tag specific to the event! It will be formatted like this…

#che’nya event: [event]

Some people have been given their own unique tag. Here’s a list of those who have earned their own kind of cat bell from me that I tend to ring the most often! (let me know if you want to be untagged) There are some other people who have bells, but I don’t tag them as often.

Cat Bell Buddies 🔔

@1930sdarlin: #darlin megs ���

@blind0raven

Foxy: #boxy foxy birdy friend

Kibby: #👑🦊

@castaway-achlys

Castor: #⭐️🔭😸

Pollux: #💫🔭😸

@disgruntled-prince: #🦁💜😸

I will make a post with more information about Che’nya specifically later to link here, but for now… I think they deserve to finally have a place of honor on Che’nya’s blog!

Relationships 😻

Nightlight - Che’nya and his Star, Castor

(@castaway-achlys)

✨🌙⭐️✨

Darli’nya - Che’nya and his Darlin, Megs

(@1930sdarlin)

✨💜💖✨

Leo’nya - Che’nya and His Highness, Leona

(@disgruntled-prince)

✨😸🦁✨

AR: Fuck my life this was supposed to be shorter than the last one…

Che’nya: Well… at least it’s more organized? And, to be fair, you did have more things to add on this one than the last one.

AR: *sobbing*

Che’nya: =o_o=

Credit and thanks to @cafekitsune for the dividers!

[the-wild-ego]

HEeHoo

Hi, im caught up on hw finally >:D

I am known outwardly to be kind of stoic tbh (masking emotions etc) but tend to be more childish in nature in the end. Doll collection, MOnster high....littlest pet shops...haha

I also have like a trillion art based hobbies, including doll customization. On one hand cause its cool, on the other because i get to behead dolls and cut their hair off and scare my neighbors when i spray paint them and hang them up.

Anyways, iplier or battles r my fav tbh

you dont have to do this one if you dont want, just thought i could give you some funny gremlin elements to work with.

So, I'm a little biased with this one, because I know you love Dark. However, I really can't see you with anyone else. hahaha.

I don't think Dark would mind your childish nature; I think he would actually lean into it. It could turn out to be a stress reliever for him... Now this Dark might end up being a little OOC, but I don't think you'd mind that. ;P

Anyways enjoy this crack-ish fic with Dark;

It was just one of those days. Work, work, contracts, keeping up with his counterparts, it was.... frustrating sometimes. Even egos got a case of 'the Mondays' every now and again. This time, though, there was not an end in sight. All Dark could hear was the never-ending ticking of a clock that wasn't even in the room. Which is what led him to your room. There was ticking coming from behind your door, or something akin to ticking. It was rhythmic and loud.

"Kitten, can you please-" Dark started as the door creaked open. Walls filled with art supplies, dolls, different colors of yarns and twines. And you sitting at the desk in your room, using a small hook to pull hair up through a paint-stripped doll head. Now, Dark knew you were an artist, and he knew that you customized dolls, but that wasn't what was strange to him. It was the several dismembered dolls laying half-dressed on the floor. "Are you alright?"

"No." you gave a blunt reply. Dark was used to this as well, knowing you'd speak with him when you were ready to talk about it. So instead, he went to pick up the dolls that were strewn about.

"I wish I could do what you do to dolls, but to actual people..." Dark huffed, setting the dolls down on your desk. He raised an eyebrow at the blank look you gave him.

"Why don't you?" you ask simply, to which Dark's mouth drops open the slightest bit. Very rarely was Dark thrown off, but you had that power to say the most outlandish things to him.

"Well-..." Dark cut himself off, trying to compose himself quickly. "It's just too messy."

"Then do it to the dolls, it'll make you feel better." you smile, looking less tense than before. With the hair done, you sit the head down to work on the rest of the doll. Dark said nothing to this, knowing whatever came out could possibly offend you. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

Instead he went to your wall of dolls and picked one with hot pink hair, envisioning that it was that fool Wilford. He felt a spike of anger and quickly ripped the head from its body, but his strength snapped the dolls body in half. Dark couldn't help but smile at that. The crunch of plastic was more satisfying than he wanted to admit.

He turned around to show you the remains, like a child presenting during a show-and-tell. The crumbled pieces hit the floor and scattered across the floor, but you were focused on the crushed body.

You frowned at that, "Dark, I still need to use those! Don't crush them!"

"I'll buy you as many as you want..." Dark smiled innocently, shrugging as he discarded the broken doll and picked up another one, this one with neon green hair. The color set Dark off a bit and as he turned to you with a sinister grin, he couldn't help but ask...

"Can I do another?"

[theangiediary]

omg Angie that was exactly what i meant and i loved it! I also adore Lebanon's favourite "are they?aren't they?" couple and imagining samdean co-parenting is such a delight. "If the baby looked like Sam, Dean would have like 12 disorders" got a laugh but it's so true i don't know how he'd handle it. It's similarly what makes me also like the idea of Dean having to deal with a deaged Sam just to see how gobsmacked he'd be. (Also those mommy recs? For a friend? 👀)

1. Oh good I’m glad it resonated! Truly, Dean would be against those baby chest carriers until the little guy was born, and then he’d not only constantly be wearing him strapped in, he’d also have one arm wrapped around at all times. Also that baby would not have a nursery, Dean would put the crib in their bedroom so he could be as close as possible, sit on the rocking chair at night just staring (Sam gets it, at least enough not to press the issue).

2. About A Boy with deaged Sammy: they’d have to end the show right there! Dean would run off into the night with itty Sammy, let some other hunter deal with the missing people. (/hj, I don’t actually remember what their relationship was like prior to that ep, all I know is it was VERY funny to me that they had a solution to the mark but Sam was like 🥺 “I am not baby?? no more Big Bro? Unacceptable.”  

3. Fic Recs

Haha, well! So many flavors... I’m throwing a huge mixed bag here, read what sounds interesting, skip what doesn’t.

Vice and Wish by thatsakitkat (incomplete, ABO A!Sam/O!Dean, 42k)

One of my all time favorites. It’s a little OOC, but Sam’s uh, canonical entitlement toward Dean/Dean’s body and resources is so so sexy. Cockblocking him, spending his money, joining him in Dean’s subconscious against Dean’s protests. Spn was allergic to having a consistent stance on souls, but if you largely view soulless!Sam as Sam without empathy, then.. Yeah. I think the Sam in this fic/universe is realistically ruthless in getting what he wants (a baby in Dean).

(Taste Every Fruit by the same author doesn’t have pregnancy, but is a lactation fic and uhh. Quite good.)

Nesting orphan_account (ABO A!John/O!Dean, 12k)

It’s been a minute since I read this, but I remember it being sweet, in a conservative fantasy way. Stanford era. Forced retirement. Small town. Also slightly OOC but like above, comes with the universe.

homebody by hellhoundsprey (ABO A!Jared/O!Jensen (background Jared/Ruth and Jensen/Tahmoh, 18k)

Listen, if you’re hesitant about rpf, this author writes it very much “vaguely inspired by the PR personsona of X”. People have been fantasizing about celebrities forever, heck, the SPN cast joke about rpf at cons. 

Anyway. Great fic. Darling sex kitten/tease and “Trying to be good” dynamic.

Share the Spoils Ch 2 by vintagedean (Fem!Dean/Sam, 2k)

Recently published, Deanna finding out if she’s pregnant and what she and Sam can do if that’s the case. Pushy teen Sam, distracted Deanna. "John's looming shadow" deserves its own character tag.

the need to choose by deadlybride (Hal!Dean/Sam, 3k)

Canon (post s7) divergence. The author has this halman universe which is similar to ABO but not quite; Dean’s something like an omega but not ✨feminine 👧🌷. Still, one of the things that the author does is realistic sex descriptions/pretty explicit naming of body parts: Dean has a clit, cervix, etc. Explores what having a baby would mean for them, in the context of SPN’s vessel plotlines. Sad, longing, open ended.

They Think I'm Possessed by deandatsgay (Dean/John, Dean/Sam 27k)

No pregnancy; Dean raised as Sam’s mom (thus inclusion in this list). Dark, dirty bad wrong porn. I love it.

[honey-dewey]

My Sicktember Statistics!

If you were unaware, over on my AO3, I partook in the 2023 Sicktember writing challenge for Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order and Jedi: Survivor, and it was really fun! I had a blast and will almost certainly be doing it again next year.

But! Over on the Sicktember Tumblr page, there was a little retrospective created by @ethereousdelirious I figured I would do now that the event is over.

You can read my Sicktember story here on my AO3.

How many prompts did you fill?

All 30 of the standard prompts. I didn't have the guts to write the alt prompts as well, although maybe next year.

Longest Fill:

Now I'll be honest, I don't know the exact word count of each chapter. Oops. If I had to guess I would say "But if you stay, you'll get sick too" and that's probably because I wrote that one first.

Shortest Fill:

I did try to hit just above 1000 words for each story. I really did. But a few came in around 950, and one of them came in at a whopping 736 words (yes I checked just for this post.) That would be Home Remedy/Old Wives Tale! Probably, because as I said above, I don't know the exact word count for all the chapters.

Favorite fill(s) and why:

My favorite prompt I did this entire event is probably "the only place we're going is a pharmacy." I adore writing Cal as a child and his relationship with Prauf, as messy as we all assume it was in the beginning. That and I just love the way I managed to portray Cal as closely to a drowned kitten as possible. If I had to pick two runners up, I would probably say Anxious Stomach (I loved writing that one because Cal vulnerable is my jam) and Side Effects/Adverse Reaction (Because droid dad. Need I say more?)

Least favorite fill(s) and why:

The reason for the first two, Consulting the Internet/Web MD and Cramping Pain are pretty similar. I just didn't like the way they came out. They're too short and messy and not my best work. Same goes for the third, "You're a jerk when you're sick" with the fun added bonus of it feeling painfully OOC. But they're up and I can't change them now, so they are my ugly duckling chapters.

Were there any prompts that challenged you in a fun way?

Pink Eye/Conjunctivitis was a tough but fun one because it was the only one with Kata, and I am not a parent in any regard. It was juts tough to start that one, but once I started, I finished it very fast, which was great because I didn't start it until the day before it was supposed to go up. The second one is definitely Curling up with a Pet, which I started, erased my half-finished submission, and then changed my chapter summary entirely because I had a better idea. Originally, BD was supposed to be the pet Cal curled up with, but then I remembered how much I wanted to pet a nekko, and thus the actual chapter was born literally three days away from posting it.

What, if anything, would you like to do differently next year?

I would love to do longer prompts! I was scrambling to start my senior year of college when the prompt list dropped and I was concerned because I had already planned a looooong and intense Whumptober story, so I would love to deep dive and write another thousand or two words for each prompt next year.

[bugs1nmybrain]

Fictional Others!:

This is a list of my fictional others and details about my relationships with them. I've also listed my DNI, please read that before you interact.

I have included their name, our anniversary, my spotify playlist for them, and their tag

All of my F/Os are romantic! They are listed in order of their relevance in my life at the current moment. I am comfortable sharing them, but NOT with minors.

L Lawliet <3

Anniversary: February 12th, 2021

Playlist: L Lawliet Lovers

Dynamic: Neurodivergent lovers who both have prominent special interests and bond over each other's introversion, analytical mindset, and quirky behaviors. Very sweet and loving relationship. L finds me intriguing as I do with him, and we're almost each other's little science experiment. He loves to see my reactions when he shows me physical affection or uses words of endearment toward me. We have a lot of philosophical conversations and love talking about random things! We watch many educational documentaries together and play analytical games like chess. We also both have sweet tooths, much to L's satisfaction. L is a little ooc in my romantic AU, as he's more romantic, sexual, and gentle. Otherwise, I try my best to keep him in character, but there are so many debates about his character that it's hard to say what is "in character" and what is not.

Tag: #lovebugs🩷😐

Tomura Shigaraki <3

Anniversary: October 25th, 2021

Playlist: Shigaraki Sluts

Dynamic: Chaotic! We found solace in each other's family trauma, mental instability, and resentment toward society. We make fun of each other and are mean but in a very loving way if that makes any sense. We're both gamers (sort of, I mostly play Rockstar games, nintendo, and Minecraft. Starting to learn League and it's Tomura's fault). Tomura gets ooc in my romantic AU because his hatred for everything is subsided when it comes to me, and he's nice to me even if he's a little prick who kicks me sometimes just because he wants to.

Tag: #ihate(love)you❌️🩵

Shouta Aizawa <3

Anniversary: June 22nd, 2020

Playlist: Aizawa's Kittens

Dynamic: I've been with Shouta the longest out of all these three. I started loving him when I was a minor, though, so figuring out the logistics of this relationship is tricky. I DO NOT support full-grown adult men dating teenage girls. 16 yr old me just didn't see how problematic that was.

Aside from that, this is a very domestic relationship. We both love cats, are tired of everything (metaphorically and literally), and are both workaholics. We have also both played the role of a guardian to younger people. I've found a lot of comfort with Shouta because while he's very stern and has expectation, he's supportive and (somewhat) patient. I'd like to think he's found me as a source of levity and is able to let his guard down when he's with me. My version of Shouta is actually pretty in-character, the only differences being that he's much more soft and gentle, at least around me.

Tag: #sleepyheads💛💤

DNI list:

If you are a minor

If you are an adult who ships themself with a character who is a minor

If you are radically against me making my f/os ooc

Racist, pedophilic, sexist, neo-nazi, republican, anti-abortion, misogynist, homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, ableist

If you stigmatize bipolar disorder and/or schizophrenia

TERF, MAP, ZOO

Uncomfortable with NSFW, I post a lot of it

If you think I'm cringe

Are uncomfortable sharing L, Tomura, and Shouta with me

Are a cyberbully/troll anon, though I'm sure this warning won't be enough for you

[fastlanehqs]

WELCOME TO MIDWAY, DUDE. Take a look our checklist for a few little deets before we get started.

OOC INFO

Alias: nikki!

Age: 27

Pronouns: she/her

Timezone: central babyyy

Triggers: [REDACTED]

What made you want to join fastlanehq? girl i invested on the ground floor. I’M A STAKEHOLDER!

If you aren’t chosen for your first skeleton choice, what are your second and third choices? [REDACTED]

Are you applying for a wanted connection? If so, which one? wanting to connect w ur mom

Anything else? ‘oh! you pretty things’ by bowie is SOOOO kasumi coded

IC BLURB

[SERENA MOTOLA, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER] Well, well, well, [KASUMI NISHIMURA], after that stunt you and your friends pulled, half of town didn’t think you’d make it to graduation! Let alone turning [19]. You’re getting a reputation as [THE FEZ] you know, it’s all the talk around [THE SPIN]! Nevertheless, Principal Grauss announced your postgrad plans to [MOVE TO L.A. AND BECOME A DJ] when you walked across that stage and got that diploma. Folks around Midway will always remember you as [EASYGOING, CHARMING] and [IDEALISTIC, SHORT-SIGHTED].

WRITING SAMPLE

Please choose at least one of the three prompts to respond to in character. There is no word minimum or maximum! 

Nostalgia’s a drug, and sometimes your character catches themselves thinking about the good old days. Describe the last school dance they attended– the good, the bad, and the poofy.

The dress was so totally not Kasumi’s idea. She didn’t have a clue what taffeta was or why it was apparently so desirable, and she had to wonder if the dressmaker was high off of mushrooms to drape the thick blue fabric in another layer of lace, and Mrs. [LAST NAME]’s hot rollers were making Kasumi’s neck hot and itchy. But Kasumi was a good sport, even posing for two whole pictures before Gwen showed up to save her. While [NAME] and Gwen smiled for what felt like the hundredth photo-op, Kasumi tucked her borrowed kitten heels underneath the couch and laced up her Chucks. 

What they don’t tell you is that high school prom is actually pretty awkward. Kasumi was expecting it to be like all the movies– this big, writhing mass of teenagers in the middle of the dance floor. But instead, it was the same still-smelly gymnasium, watery punch, and a hundred awkward teenagers hugging the edges of the room.

[THE NONCONFORMIST] pretty much ditched Kasumi right away, which she’d expected– hell, she was shocked they even showed up for pictures after things fizzled between them. But this was… sad. Standing here, toeing the glossy wood floor and taking tiny sips of her punch, pretending she wasn’t hoving near Gwen and [THE BOY NEXT DOOR] because she rode with them.

But if she could only find… Ah-ha! Kasumi slammed her punch down onto the table they’d claimed, stammered out a half-witted explanation to her rideshares, and weaved her way across the gym. Her good fortune was only solidified when she spotted the glint of metal slipping into [THE PATRIOT]’s jacket pocket. “Hey, what’s that?” she asked, grinning and rocking forward on her heels. 

When he hesitated, she doubled down, “C’mon, it’s my first American prom. Probably my last!” 

It didn’t matter that the music was totally wrong for line dancing– Kasumi didn’t know either way, but she could tell that the do-si-do didn’t exactly mesh with “Time of the Season”– but it was funny to see how focused [THE PATRIOT] was on their steps.

She didn’t even notice when the dancefloor filled out with other brave dancers, not until she’d lifted her dress off the floor to grapevine and totally hip-checked [MISS AMERICA] on accident. “Oh shit, sorry!” Kasumi devolved into laughter at how un-coordinated she was in comparison to the pageant queen’s naturally graceful swaying.

“Oh my God, I almost laid out the prom queen!” she whispered to [THE PATRIOT] behind her hand. “Is it just me, or am I super good at this?” Kasumi laughed, doing a clunky scoot-scoot-kick maneuver.

By the time the dancefloor cleared again, Kasumi’s once-perfectly-curled hair stuck to her forehead and neck, and her dress boasted black scuff marks on its trim– but she could move freely again, and isn’t that what prom is all about?

“If you think about it, it’s kind of xenophobic to not give it to me when I literally saw you and [THE TERRY BRADSHAW] passing it back and forth.”

Finally! Life on Mars. 

Kasumi ducked behind [THE PATRIOT] to take a gulp of the bitter liquid, and disguised her cough behind a hand. She was really only used to beer, and that most definitely was not the watery wheat flavor she’d come to tolerate. That tasted like… shoe polish.

“That’s so bad,” she laughed, tucking the flask back into her friend’s pocket. “Thank you.” She took a beat to recover, swiping at the droplets on her lips and surveying her peers. “This is like… kind of sad,” she hummed, to no one in particular. Now that her head was swimming a little bit, the way her dress swished against her legs actually felt kind of nice. 

“You dance, right? Like line dancing?” Kasumi asked, looking up at [THE PATRIOT] expectantly. “You’re gonna teach me,” she decided, taking his hand and tugging him towards the middle of the room.

[askthecat]

Hello, bonjour, and a good day to you! You all sure look different from any other Who! But no matter the appearance, no matter the walk You will not be judged here, as I am kind, and can talk Oh, that rhyming sure does get old...Anywho, hello! I’m the Cat! The Cat in the Hat! I’m sure you are just itchin’ to start askin’ me some things, but I have some rules to be followed! We wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt now, hm?

1- Asks must be safe and friendly, as I am a Cat, and a pleasant one at that.  2- No foul language! I have kittens around! 3- You can ask me, or the kittens, Rascal, Darling and Kit! You may also ask the Grinch and Holly if you wish! 4- We all love magic! It’s so fun to do! So I’ll also allow this for you, too! Now, magic anons are allowed, yes it’s fine! But only for a maximum number of asks, which is five! 5- We all have our own sign offs, they’re simply our names! Less room for confusion, more time for games! (oh, rowdy-doe, i’m rhyming again!) (ooc) Info about Cat!

-Gay -In a queerplatonic relationship with the Grinch -Autistic -Enjoys activity, reading, music and all that fun stuff -He’s genuinely terrified of pumpkins- like he has the actual phobia, it’s called Cucurbitophobia

[anzuuyo]

"Would you still love me if I turned into a worm?" pt.2

cw: dumbassery, cringe

ft: Draken, Chifuyu

a/n: I apologize if any of the characters turn out to be ooc, it's been a while since I last wrote about any kind of character so- 🥴

Draken

3:35 am

Was what the time was last time you checked, and you couldn’t sleep.

With all the wiggling you were doing, you half expected Draken to wake up numerous times but it seemed like he was knocked out cold.

With a loud sigh you turned toward him, staring at his angelic sleeping face, he looked so calm when he slept. It was nice.

“Are you gonna stare at me all night long, or are you gonna go to sleep?” Draken opened one eye tiredly to look at you.

That startled you

“I thought you were asleep-!”

“I woke up like 30 minutes ago”

“What seriously, why didn’t you say anything when you woke up?”

“Didn’t realize I had to say something”

Pouting, you mumbled a quiet ‘rude’

Sighing, he pulled you in on top of him. Wrapping your arms around him, you rested your cheek on his chest.

“So wanna talk about why you’re still awake?”

Humming you stared into space for a second before glancing up at him

“I dunno, I’m just not tired…”

“And?”

‘“...and I had a thought, well more of a question”

Letting out a sigh, Draken mentally prepared for the question. Already assuming it’s going to be a dumbass question.

“If I were to turn into a worm, would you still love me?”

Draken blinked once, then twice.

And let out a groan, He was right, it was a dumbass question.

“Hey don’t give me that, this is a serious question. What If I were to fall asleep then wake up tomorrow morning as a worm because some secret admirer of yours knows dark magic-”

“Shhhhhh” Draken drags his hand up to your lips to silence you.

“That would never happen”

You were about to open your mouth to protest when he continued.

“But if by some crazy, out of this world phenomena, that it actually does happen, I would 100% still love you, worm or not”

“Awe, really?” You stared at him with so much love and adoration.

He mhm’d, grabbed the back of your neck and brought you into a sweet, gentle kiss.

“Can we go to sleep now?”

Draken whispered while putting his forehead on yours.

“Yea, I guess. Although I do have one more quest-”

Draken kissed you again, to shut you up.

“Nope, sleep now. Questions when we wake up”

Chifuyu

“Hmmmmm”

Tilting your head, you stared at the orange and white kitten playing with a toy worm. It was absolutely adorable.

You had visited the pet store that Chifuyu and Kazutora owned, to help out with a couple of odd jobs. But ended up getting distracted by the kittens, specifically one playing with a worm. That got you thinking.

Noticing that you were deep in thought, Chifuyu came over to you and nudged your side.

“Hey, what’s up?”

You let out an almost inaudible ‘hm’, still deep in thought.

Chifuyu smiled at you, he loved how everything seemed to disappear when you were like that. Your only focus was on whatever was on your mind at that moment. You were adorable to him, his one and only.

Lifting up his arms, Chifuyu grabbed both of your cheeks and turned your head towards him.

That seemed to snap you out of whatever small trance you were in.

“Huh?” Your eyes widened when they met Chifuyu’s. When did he get here? How much time had passed? What were you doing again?

“Are you here babe?” He chuckled as his thumb brushed over your cheek.

“Yes? Yeah, I’m here” Sounding kind of unsure, you lean into his hand.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Chifuyu smiled adoringly at his love. Honestly, it was a crime to be that cute.

“Promise not to laugh?”

“Mhm, for you, I promise”

Taking a deep breath, you stared into his eyes.

“If I was turned into a worm, would you still love me?”

Chifuyu had to bite his tongue and cheek, to try and contain his laughter. But that was proving to be a challenge as small snickers escaped his mouth.

Narrowing your eyes slightly, your cheeks dusted a light pink.

“Fuyuuu, you promised not to laugh” whining quietly.

“What are you talking about, I’m definitely not laughing” Chifuyu tries to stop a smile that was fighting to come out.

“And to answer your question, Yes I would love you. I’d carry you around in my pocket and even make you a small office area in the shop”

“What if you accidentally mix me up with another worm and feed me to a bird?”

“Then I’d be a horrible boyfriend and would take myself out!” He announces confidently, smooshing your cheeks together to give your lips a peck.

"Get a room you two" A low voice that belonged to Kazutora echoed throughout the shop, causing both you and Chifuyu to break out into giggles.

[domino-waki]

taking catlad au and putting my own spin on it. technically making him worse than regular tim since he didn’t need a cat god to keep him alive.

 Basically, Jack Drake gets some illegal cat merch from an archeology dig, and Selina wants it. Tim does his tiny baby stalker thing, figures out who Cat Woman is, and breaks into the area the thing is being and waits for her. He tells her the deal, and I guess, not wanting to be cursed or whatever, she goes to return it. With a baby boy in her luggage.

Tim makes the offering to Cat God since it was his Dad who fucked it up, and Cat God is like “damn dude, nice, have a boon” but never tells them what it is. Tim does get some cat boy behavior, but Selina also does the same shit, so she figured the kid imprinted on her like a duck.

She keeps an eye on him for the next couple years. With his kind of absent parents, he bonds with her easy. She never planned to take him on heists, but he was a smart kid, and there were things he could help with. She wants shiny things, but she only uses the kid for his big fuckin brain, and never takes him out into danger. but she trains him for self defense. 

then Jason Todd dies, and Tim is like “hey mom, gotta go tell Dick Grayson to dress up like a watermelon again, Batman needs a Robin.” and Selina is like “YOU KNOW THEIR SECRET IDENTITIES???” and Tim is like “yeah? don’t you?” and I don’t know if she did at this point in the comics, but Catboy Tim becomes Robin and has a real crisis about helping Batman do the justice thing while having helped Selina steal shit. She only had him help her steal from real assholes, but still. crime.

Bruce is very suspicious about why Tim knows the layout of some buildings so well.

Tim doesn’t become catlad (Or Kitten as I’ve been calling him) until after he’s healed up after Jason gets his ass. Bats wont let him back as Robin, but Tim knows that Bruce needs an emotional support child in order to not be fucked up and evil. So if he play Robin, he’ll be the Kitten that funnels wayne enterprises money into many different charities and shit. He does a lot of robin hood ass crimes actually. He doesn’t take anything of personal value to people, and if he scoops up something nice from some asshole, he can pass it on to Mamma Cat.

and Bruce is just standing there like “am I really going to send my girlfriend *and* her son to prison? When He mostly steals from me and returns stolen artifacts to their rightful homes? and my girlfriend who is very hot?”

anyway that’s the Kitten Backstory bullshit I got.

oh yeah, and tim, now knowing he won’t die, puts himself in more danger. He’s going to give his cat mom a heart attack.

OH and he loves Helena so much, good sibling time on one half of the family.

OOC on probably everyone’s part? probably. am I having fun? oh yeah.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Wounded Love Pt. 2 (Lady Dimitrescu/F!Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T? Maybe? Almost the exact opposite of the first one. Language, minor violence Genre: Fluff, mainly, with admittedly a little bit of humor? I blame my lack of sleep. And my adhd. Warnings: Implied cannibalism adjacent activities because guess what honey, this is a fucked up family, what do you expect of me??? Sure, they have breakfast in this, there's cute stuff, but c'mon, they don't eat flowers and oatmeal! Notes: Doubt it needs to be said, but this is a sequel to the good ending of part one. Also Cass has one line in this that might be OOC, or seem oddly placed, but admittedly this chapter is also loosely based on a dream I had, and I couldn't not include the few direct quotations I remembered, and she seemed the most likely to say the line. And yes, there will be a part 3, because I am weak and also kind of maybe made this one less plot-moving than intended.

{Wounded Love: The re-woundening}

Every step ached more than the last, even with Alcina supporting you. She had wanted to carry you down the stairs, of course, but you had insisted that you would be fine. Now you were just determined not to complain out loud. One yelp or cry and you’d be scooped up in her arms, surely to be carried for the rest of the day. As much as you appreciated your girlfriend’s assistance, you hated feeling useless, and hated putting a burden on others. So here you were, one arm wrapped around Alcina’s waist, limping ever-so-slowly towards the dining room.

Further ahead (unburdened by your injury) the three Dimitrescu daughters talk among themselves, voices hushed as they too headed for breakfast. It was odd to see them all awake, and socializing, as there was usually at least one who came to meals late. You couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with your condition… or the circumstances that had caused it.

Less than eighteen hours had passed since your fight with a stray lycan, and tension had been high since. While you hadn’t yet spoken to the sisters, you had spoken to Alcina, who had briefly mentioned their concern for you. Whether they actually cared about you as a person or just cared because you are dating their mother is unclear. Based on how they had acted while treating your wounds, though, you were inclined to think that they were fond of you. And seeing as Alcina had already vowed to get revenge on your behalf… well, you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that her daughters intended to assist.

“Careful on the last step, dear,” Alcina says, positioned as to catch you if you fell. It takes a little willpower to resist the urge to hop down the rest of the way. As long as you landed on your uninjured leg, it wouldn’t even be that bad. Still, irritating your girlfriend first thing in the morning felt like a pretty stupid thing to do. Instead you just nodded, slowing down even more, and took visible care not to trip. “Good girl.”

Well, you certainly couldn’t say that being careful didn’t have its rewards.

“I have my moments,” you replied, blush rising to your cheeks. Suddenly your pain didn’t feel so bad (at least until you took another step and winced). “Damn, who woulda thought that cutting a chunk out of my leg would make it hurt more?” The leg in question throbbed in pain, as if to prove your point, protesting the weight you put on it. Changing the angle at which you stood helped some, allowing the lower half of the limb to bear more of the burden.

“Dearest…” Alcina starts to say, looking like she was going to readdress her desire to carry you. For a moment you try to avoid her gaze, but she moves in front of you, making sure that you could still hold onto her for support. “I know how you feel, how you want, desperately, to be independent. When I was first… granted this gift, it took a long time to adjust. There was so much I had to relearn how to do, so much that I suddenly needed done for me.” A pause, a deep breath. At last you look up at your girlfriend, warmth in your heart, reaching out to hold her hand. “You have time, my dear, and plenty of it. More than that… this will not last forever. The more you push yourself, the longer your recovery will take. Now, please, allow me to assist. You have already proven how strong you are.”

“Oh, you drive a hard bargain… but if you insist, who am I to decline? Or, well, who am I to decline twice in a row?” You answer, somewhat begrudgingly. It wasn’t much farther to the dining room, you figured, so it wouldn’t be much of a loss to accept help. Or at least that was what you told yourself. Even with Alcina’s encouragement it was so hard for you to accept her help. After all, you were the one that worked for her. Never mind the fact that she was somewhat responsible for your injury- really, you were actively avoiding thinking about that.

It’s much easier to forget once Alcina carefully picks you up. One arm goes under your legs, the other under your chest, lifting you without any effort. You might as well have been a kitten or a child’s toy. The movement does, however, shift your injured leg in such a way that it aches. At this point you can hardly move the limb at all without it hurting, and even the slightest friction against the bandage makes your eyes water.

Apparently someone would be delivering some painkillers later in the day. You assumed it would be The Duke (whose name is apparently not Doug, as you had thought), seeing as he knew some special way to get to and fro without risking the same fate that had befallen you. Which, of course, made you feel a lot better. Getting someone else hurt would weigh on your mind forever.

Regardless, you were safe now, as was your strange, bloody little family. Before long you would even be enjoying a pleasant meal together. Certainly that would help get your mind off of your wound? For now, though, you were met with an unexpected impasse. The sort of impasse that really, really should have been expected.

“Why… is the doorway… so small?” You asked, jokingly, as you stare into the mildly embarrassed face of your girlfriend. It’s already hard enough for her to crouch through the gap normally. When she’s carrying you? Impossible. “Can we ask Mother Miranda for bigger doors? She gave you eternal life and also three kids, she’s gotta be capable of making bigger doors. Put me down, I’ll go call her and-”

“That won’t be necessary, dear,” Alcina cuts you off, not fully appreciating this part of your humor. Or maybe she had already asked for bigger doors, only to be told no?... Okay, yeah, it was probably the first option. With a sigh she sets you down, as gently as she can manage. Ready and raring to go, you start to hobble forward, only to find all three of the daughters waiting for you, just beyond the door. They’re grinning as they watch you, and Bela extended her arm to offer her help. “What appears to be the matter?” Alcina asks from behind you. Accepting your fate and Bela’s arm, you let the sisters guide you to the table, Cassandra holding your other side, and Daniela pulls your chair out for you. Honestly it’s pretty adorable. Evidently your girlfriend agrees, from the way she smiles as she follows.

“Thank you,” you say, more out of reflex than genuine gratitude. Again, you weren’t thrilled about needing this assistance. If the girls notice they’re at least polite enough not to mention it. They simply move to their own seats at the large table, eager to dig in. It feels… strange, to be here, on this side of things. Stranger still to realize you’re the only one intending to eat actual food. There’s wine in your glass, but it’s a much fainter red than those you’ve previously served to your girlfriend. Thank goodness, you think, after how raw my throat was yesterday, I really don’t need to taste any more blood.

Once Lady Dimitrescu sits down, the meal formally begins, with several maidens appearing from the kitchen. Several seem relieved to see you, although surprised, and one even gave you a brief smile. The smile did not last, however. It wasn’t unexpected, considering the nature of her job, the pressures that it put upon her. No one smiled at mealtimes. Well, no maidens, that is. They simply moved around, wordlessly, faces blank, doing exactly as instructed. Only a few days ago you had been among them, fear keeping you in line. Was it wrong of you to care for Alcina, knowing what she was capable of doing to others? Knowing what she might have, in another life, done to you?

A maiden places a plate of warm food, as well as a bowl of fresh fruit, in front of you. For a moment your eyes meet, but she looks away instinctively. Your heart threatens to break.

“This looks wonderful, thank you for your hard work, all of you,” you speak up, glancing at each of the women working so hard. There’s more you want to say that dries in your throat; you are valued, you are deserving, someday I will join your ranks again.

“You don’t need to thank them, they’re just doing their jobs,” Cassandra chimes from the other side of the table. Hearing her say that damn near makes you drop your fork. It’s not an uncommon settlement, particularly among older generations and the rich, but one that irks you nonetheless.

“They’re doing my job. They are taking on extra work, for no pay, because I am injured. Why would I be so cruel as to ignore them? Have I not toiled alongside them enough to call them my kin?” You ask, struggling to keep your voice even. Next to you Alcina is slowly cutting into her meat, watching the scene unfold out of the corner of her eyes, perhaps considering when to step in. On the other end of the table, Bela looks increasingly uncomfortable, as if silently willing her sister into silence. None of the maidens have reacted to what you said, likely too afraid of Cassandra to even consider speaking.

“Ooooh, this is much more fun than our usual breakfasts,” Daniela says, stifling a giggle. “Do you have any other thoughts you’d like to share? Preferably ones that aren’t about me.” At this, Alcina sets her utensils down, clearly intending to put an end to the discussion. Unfortunately for her, you were a bit… impulsive, especially considering the previous night’s activities had left your mind struggling to cope.

“Dead lycans smell terrible. Literally the worst thing I’ve ever smelled, easily, no question about it,” you answer, shrugging a little as you do. It’s such a simple thought that you almost don’t realize how the others at the table react. Until the clatter of silverware on the table catches your attention, that is. All three sisters are eying you with different expressions (Bela is confused, Cass is impressed, and Daniela looks shocked). But it’s Alcina’s wide-eyed stare that gets you to elaborate. “Should I have said ‘a dead lycan’? I only got one, so I guess I shouldn’t say they all smell bad. C’mon, though, they have to all smell bad, right?”

Suddenly Daniela shifts from shock to pure amusement, a fit of giggles overtaking her. You’re still confused, not sure what the matter was, so you just sip your wine and hope someone asks the right questions.

“You… killed the lycan that attacked you?” Bela finally says, after a few moments of her sister laughing, expression still incredulous. When you nod she sort of shakes her head, trying to clear her thoughts. “May I ask how you managed that?”

“Oh, you know, I just meh meh-” you mime a stabbing motion with your fork- “until the stupid thing stopped moving. I had to use a tree branch as a weapon, but then it broke after a few whacks, which actually helped because then I had two stabbing implements to, you know, stab with. That’s right around when it got my leg, and it tried to bite me. Thankfully it wasn’t very smart, so when it leapt at me I just hyah-” this time an upwards strike- “right into its neck. That didn’t kill it, but it was enough to slow it down, which allowed me to stab the other half of the branch into its skull. Made this horrible, horrible sound as it died. Seeing as we are eating, I will not imitate the sound. Not that I could, now that I think about it…”

Once again there’s silence. Even Daniela has quieted now, and is watching you with rapt interest, likely hoping that you’re hiding another story up your sleeves.

“So… did you guys actually think that I managed to run away from the lycan? Or were you under the impression that it simply got bored of me and left?” You ask, casually returning to your breakfast afterwards. No one says anything, at first, taking in your words as best as they can. A few moments later both Daniela and Bela resume their meal, as nonchalant as one could be in the current situation. Alcina, however, rests a gentle hand on your shoulder, meeting your gaze with a loving look.

“You will never cease to amaze me, my dear. But let us ensure you never have to… smell, or see, one of those wretched things again, yes?” She says, softly squeezing you as she does. You can’t help but agree, and nod eagerly, mouth too full of hashbrowns to speak. Still, there’s been a shift in the atmosphere of the room. It’s not that the family didn’t respect you before, as far as you can tell, but they evidently hadn’t expected you to prove as capable as you had. It brings a sense of pride to the forefront of your mind, making you completely forget about your injury for the remainder of the meal.

Unable to stop yourself, you insist on helping the other maidens clean up, and Alcina eventually agrees to let you wash a few dishes- as long as you stay sitting the entire time. The last thing you hear before you shuffle off to the kitchen is the start of a conversation between Cassandra and her mother.

“You picked quite a feisty one, didn’t you?”

“That I did, that I did…”