#only to find out my family have a long history of keeping donkeys

[possiblyunhinged]

What I *love* about being English is you are brought up with the idea we are a ‘Christian’ country that is almost too soft for its own good. That we treat everybody with kindness, and our only problem is that we are just so fucking kind that everybody takes advantage of us 😢. Womp womp.

Of course, you grow up and realise that, actually, the people who are the recipients of that good, Christian treatment are rich, heinous pieces of doo who couldn’t give two shits about anyone who isn’t of their socioeconomic background. Everyone outside of that gilet-shagging bubble is, of course, scum.

And then you leave school and find what you've learned about your country's history is absolute bullshit. Our military didn't go into countries to free people from oppressive regimes but rather to make the rich men who told them to go and kill people they deem as their enemies even richer. Oh, and then there are the civilian rapes and murders. But we are the good guys, see! We may have colonized your country, but we occasionally send an old man with sausage fingers over there to wave at you and ignore your requests for your stuff back!

I thought being British was loving Robbie Williams a bit too much... oh how I was wrong.

The 'kindness' that proud folk misplaced as being an English trait is essentially mass silence regarding rich men and how they want to live while being a cunt to everybody else. English people are very vocal about immigrants, the working class, the disabled and anybody who simply doesn’t live like Sid James in a fucking Carry On film. From tall poppy syndrome, the middle-class people who interchange their politics like a y2k Depop fit to flag shaggers… this country is a joke, and I would like to leave, please, sir xoxo.

Over 4 million children are living in poverty, but please tell me why I should give a shit about a flag on the collar of an England shirt and why Angela Rayner is a slag because she sold her council house. Meanwhile... how much money was spunked up a wall on PPE you paid for through your mate's imaginary companies? How much money did Priti Patel spend in a nail salon again?

P.S. Of course, I can’t just leave because I’m agoraphobic, poor and objectively useless. I have a degree in Music Business, thou lads, if the world's most useless degree is appealing to any EU country, that would be sehr schön xoxo

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Nothing Wrong

Prompt: Writing prompt for Merlin (preferably time passes?): Modern Day everyone try to explain to Arthur how life works now and Arthur trying to get Merlin to therapy because JESUS DUDE and coming up with a somewhat workable alibi for what can essentially be called immortality angst. Hope you're having a lovely day!!

Thanks for the prompt, babe! This is part of a series over on my Ao3 but it can be read as a standalone

Read on Ao3

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2217

 So it turns out that Merlin, to no one's surprise but his, could benefit from seeing a therapist.

“Thank you for coming in today, Mr. Emrys,” Dr. Lerchen says as Merlin sits down in the plush chair, “it’s good to meet you.”

 “You as well, Dr. Lerchen.”

 “Please, Melanie is fine.” Dr. Le—Melanie smiles and fixes her glasses. “I understand that you’ve never been to a therapist before?”

 “Can’t say I have.”

 “Well, I’m happy to have you. May I ask what you’ve heard about therapy?”

 “That it’s something I should definitely do.”

 “Well, I make no judgments about that, but what else?”

 Merlin hesitates. He’s never had someone who’s…paid to listen to him. Whose job it is to help him sort through the mess in his brain. It feels…counterintuitive.

 Melanie nods when he says as much. “You’re not the first person who feels a little awkward asking a therapist for help. Nor are you the first to think you don’t actually need it.”

 Merlin blinks. “I didn’t say that.”

 “No—“ Melanie gives him a look— “but am I right?”

 He fidgets in the chair.

 “You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to,” she says after a moment, “but I want to reassure you that you don’t need to have a reason to see a therapist.”

 “I don’t?”

 She shrugs. “Some people see me because they’re having issues at work that they’re struggling to manage. Some people see me because they’ve got mental issues they need help with. And some people see me because they’ve never actually had someone to talk to.”

 “…really?”

 Melanie smiles. “Yes, Mr. Emrys. You don’t have to need therapy to have therapy.”

 A weight begins to lift off his shoulders. Judging by Melanie’s smile, she can see it. She sits back in her chair too and tilts her head.

 “Is that all this is,” Merlin murmurs, mostly to himself, “is this…therapy?”

 “Well, I’m not sure if it’s as easy to tell from the two minutes you’ve been here,” she laughs, “but…yes. I ask questions, and if you like, you answer them. Or we simply talk. About…whatever you’d like.”

 “Whatever I like?”

 “Believe me, I’ve spent sessions discussing nothing but movies and favorite colors.”

 “With children?”

 “With adults.” She gestures between them. “I’m here to provide the support you need to work through things. Does that sound alright?”

 “…yes,” Merlin breathes, “that sounds…that sounds great.”

 “Wonderful. May I ask you a few questions about why you’re here today?”

 “Yes.”

 “Do you mind if I write them down?”

 Merlin shakes his head and she retrieves a notepad.

 “In your request for an appointment, you mentioned that you’d been referred to me by a friend of yours?”

 “Yes, um, Leon Camlynn.”

 “Ah, yes, I see.” She makes a note. “Had you been discussing therapy with him prior to the referral?”

  “You should try it, Merlin,” Leon says encouragingly as Arthur sits down on the couch, “it’s just talking.”

  “I’ve had experience with therapy before, Leon.”

  “Not like this,” Leon promises, his eyes shining with the understanding of what type of ‘therapy’ Merlin’s been put through, “I promise.”

  Merlin sighs. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but I’m fine, Leon, I—“

  “Merlin,” Arthur interrupts softly, “I think you should try it. Just once, at least.”

  He doesn’t blink at Merlin’s look of betrayal.

  “Leon says it helps him, and maybe it’ll help you too.”

  “There is so much between us already,” Leon says softly, drawing Merlin’s attention again, “so much history—“

  “So why would I want to talk to someone that I’d have to explain things to?”

  “—that you might not be able to talk about it with us,” Leon finishes, “and you’d only have to explain as much as you were comfortable with.”

  Merlin sighs. “I don’t believe you. There’s—I—I can’t—my—hmm.”

  “You don’t have to explain everything all the time, Merlin,” Leon says, “and you definitely won’t have to during the first session.”

 “I agree,” Melanie says, patiently writing things down, “I’m not here to pressure you into telling me things you’re not comfortable with, nor am I going to tell you what to do.”

 “He said that I should get used to talking to someone.” Merlin toys with the end of his shirt. “Someone that wasn’t…him.”

 Melanie nods. “How long has it been? Since you spoke to someone other than Leon?”

 1500 years. “…a while.”

 “And is Leon your closest friend? Do you have anyone else?”

 “I know people at work, I talk to them, they drag me out for pub nights. But Leon’s my only…friend-friend, really.”

 “I see.” She looks back at the appointment record. “It says here you’re also considering whether or not you have some sort of PTSD?”

  Damnit, Leon.

 “…yes.”

 “You needn’t tell me anything you feel uncomfortable telling me,” Melanie reminds, “but whatever you do tell me will be useful in how I can help you.”

 Merlin can’t help glancing at the door.

 “Doctor-patient confidentiality,” comes the quiet reassurance, “nothing you say will leave this room.”

 He takes a deep, slow breath. He hasn’t talked about this to anyone. Not even Arthur. Not really. There are so many secrets that no one knows that he doesn’t know how to tell one without telling all of them.

 “Pick something small,” Melanie suggests when he says as much, “something innocuous. A memory, perhaps, one that makes you happy.”

  “Come on, Merlin, this way!”

  Merlin rolls his eyes as Arthur drags him through the woods. “Whatever creature you’re hunting is going to hear us coming from yards away, as you’re so fond of telling me.”

  “We’re not hunting Merlin, now come on!”

  “Then why are we out in the middle of the woods for no reason? And why am I carrying all this food?”

  Arthur bursts through the edge of the woods into a clearing, spinning around with a blinding smile. “We’re having a picnic.”

  Merlin blanches. “A what?”

  “A picnic, Merlin,” Arthur repeats, taking the basket from him, “we’re going to sit down and eat.”

  And they did, in the field, as butterflies flew around their heads.

 “That sounds lovely,” Melanie says, smiling, “and how long ago was this?”

 Merlin’s smile dims. “A long time.”

 “Was it near where you grew up?”

 “No, no, it was…quite far away. I, um, I grew up in a smaller village and went away to a big city to work.”

 “Was it hard, being away from your family for such a long period of time?”

  He misses his mother’s smile.

  He misses the smell of the barn when he walks outside—not the big, Camelot stables, but their little barn with the cinnamon and cloves stuffed into the corners to keep the old donkey happy.

  He misses Will, the shouts and yells of the other boys as they rush up and down the streets.

  He misses the old man’s warbling in the late night as he walked back and forth with the lantern, putting out the lights on his market stall.

 “I’d never been farther than walking distance away from my home,” he says quietly, examining his hands, “so it was…hard to adjust.”

 “I’m sure. Did you go back to visit them ever?”

  “The winters are harsh in Ealdor,” his mother says, pleading in front of the tightly Uther Pendragon, “and there are many children. Some of them just won't be strong enough to survive. We barely have enough food as it is, and if Kanen takes our harvest, our children won't live to see another summer. Please, we need your help.”

“Ealdor's in Cenred's kingdom,” Uther says dismissively, “your safety is his responsibility.”

“We've appealed to our King, but he cares little for the outlying regions. You're our only hope.”

Uther regards his mother with what can only be described as forced pity. “I have the deepest sympathy for you and would have this barbarian wiped off the face of the earth.”

“You'll help us?”

“I wish I could.”

Perhaps sensing Merlin’s dismay, Arthur speaks up. “Surely we can spare a few men?”

“…once.”

 Melanie tilts her head. “You sound sad.”

 “…my friend died when I went back,” Merlin says, “he…I’d known him since I was a little boy. He was…important to me.”

 “I’m sorry to hear that.” And she does sound genuinely sorry, Merlin realizes, as she leans forward. “What was his name?”

 “Will.”

 “Will,” she repeats, “I’m sorry he passed.”

 Merlin shrugs. Out of all the people he’s lost, he can’t afford to hurt over all of them all the time.

 “What did you do afterward?”

 “I went back to work.”

 Melanie blinks. “Just like that? No time off, no time to grieve?”

 “…where I come from, that wasn’t really a thing.”

 “…I see.”

 Merlin shifts. “Is something wrong?”

 “People need time to process things,” she says, “to reconcile what’s happened in order to learn how to live with it. And if you weren’t given that time…”

 “It wasn’t the most pressing thing on my mind.”

 That gives her pause. She raises an eyebrow and nods for him to continue. Merlin fidgets a little in the chair.

 “…I have a secret,” he says finally, “one that Will died to protect for me.”

 She makes a soft noise.

 “I couldn’t tell anyone,” Merlin continues, staring at a spot on the carpet, “it—they would’ve—“

 He breaks off. He hasn’t thought about his magic like this for centuries. He hasn’t thought about his magic for decades. He hasn’t actually looked at himself for…a long time.

 He’s been hiding for almost as long as he can remember.

 “What would they have done,” Melanie prompts softly.

 “Killed me.” Merlin looks up. “They would’ve killed me.”

 To her credit, Melanie doesn’t look shocked. Instead, she smiles softly.

 “No one will kill you for a secret, Mr. Emrys, not on my watch.”

 That shouldn’t make him feel as warm as it does, but he finds his own mouth turning up into a smile.

 “Does your family know your secret?”

 “My mother did. My father…yes, he knew.”

 “Does Leon know?”

 “Yes.”

 “Anyone else?”

 Merlin hesitates. “Yes. Yes, someone else knows. Even though I…I didn’t…I didn’t tell him when I should have.”

 “You’re the only one who gets to make that decision,” Melanie reassures, “no one else.”

 “But he felt so betrayed when I didn’t tell him. He was…he was angry with me.”

  “You’ve lied to me. You’ve lied all this time.”

  Merlin can’t quite hear his heart crack in two, but he can feel it.

 “Why did you decide to tell him?”

 Merlin shrugs. “He was going to get hurt if I didn’t show—if I didn’t tell him.”

 “Hurt?”

 “He…”

  Ygraine, his mother, gone on the day of his birth because of magic.

  Uther, turned bitter and cynical, making enemies upon enemies of magic while hoarding it for his own selfish purposes.

  Morgana, his own sister, twisted and tortured by Uther, by Arthur, by Merlin, until she was barely recognizable.

  Arthur had lost so much to magic that Merlin can’t bear to give him something else to lose.

 “…he’s already been hurt by it,” Merlin says, shutting his eyes, “I didn’t want to hurt him too.”

 “What happened to him?”

 “He—“

  Mordred steps out from behind a rock and walks toward Arthur, he raises his sword...

  Arthur either hears him or sees his reflection in a sword on the ground. He stands and blocks the attack, he goes to stab and stops, realizing it's Mordred. Mordred stabs him and withdraws the sword, fatally wounding him.

  Arthur goes to a knee.

  Merlin can’t find the breath to scream.

  “Merlin. There is nothing you can do.”

  “I’ve failed?

“No, young warlock, for all that you have dreamt of building, has come to pass.”

  “I can't lose him! He's my friend!”

  “Though no man, no matter how great, can know his destiny, some lives have been foretold, Merlin...Arthur is not just a King-he is the Once and Future King.”

  Once and Forever.

  “Take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest, Arthur will rise again.”

  Merlin. Merlin is all that’s left.

  “It has been a privilege to have known you, young warlock-the story we have been a part of will live long in the minds of men.”

  1500 years…

  “Merlin? Merlin!”

  He’s back.

 “…he went away. For a very long time.”

 “And now?”

 Despite everything, Merlin finds himself smiling. “He’s my flatmate.”

 “I’m glad to hear it,” Melanie says softly, smiling too, “you two deserve your soft epilogue.”

 Wait, what?

 “I’m afraid that’s all we have the time for today, Mr. Emrys,” Melanie says, standing and holding out her hand for him to shake, “but I’d be happy to set up another appointment.”

 “Uh, yeah, yeah,” Merlin says, scrambling to his feet and shaking her hand, “and please, Merlin’s fine.”

 “Merlin.” Her handshake is firm, grounding. “Be in touch.”

 “I will.”

 “And one last thing,” she calls as he goes to leave, “there is nothing wrong with being gay, Merlin.”

 Wait, what?

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts & Reactions to Sole Crusher & Queen Banana!

Here's my 2 in 1! Starting with Sole Crusher. Loved the tourist feel in the beginning, gives it a very different feel and interesting to see it from Zoe's perspective. Aww Zoe's so nice to Marinette right away. And it's awfully sad that she only ever had one friend. :c I wonder who that friend is? Zoe's right about her family not appreciating the baked goods from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. I don't know if she's fully aware of the history there, or if she just knows how picky her mother and sister are. But it was awfully sweet of her to give them to the tour guide to give to her family instead. So Zoe learned: in order to survive, she had to put on an act and be somebody she's not, because her family wouldn't accept her being a decent person that cares about others. When asked about her middle school, her response, "I found a cockroach in my locker!" Might not be true, doesn't sound like it's the only thing at all if so, but sadly it was enough for her mom to not question anything.

Chloe's definitely a lot worse now after Miracle Queen. In my opinion, this is us beginning to see how low she's gotten and will continue to get. As Avatar Aang once said, "When we reach our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change." I'll write more on this in a separate post later. Zoe's sure scared to object to anything and be herself. Not even hesitating to act like a brat when around Chloe. If she didn't end up growing up around Chloe, how horrible are her parents??? We know Audrey is pretty bad, but even then if she had a decent dad she'd likely not end up like this. I suppose we'll have to see, but this poor girl. :/ Rose: Can we adopt her? Lol awww. Wonderful of Marinette to know that after only one brief encounter with Zoe, she knows that the Zoe at school isn't really her, and wants to genuinely help. How can anybody hate that about her? I don't get it. If it's because she doesn't do things how you'd like them...Most things in life won't go as you want them, or be taken by others as you may intend them, so you have to appreciate what's there and the intent of others actions. "But my family made me think that to deserve my place, I had to give up on some of my dreams." If Andre's talking about his parents here, as he said "When I was young", then oof this poor man, no wonder he's so timid and such a pushover. If he's referring to Audrey and Chloe... then that's a huge oof because Audrey knew exactly who she was marrying and should've never ended up with him in the first place if she didn't want to be with a director. So Zoe left because she couldn't stand it in New York anymore around her dad and the kids at her school. She hoped that she wouldn't have to act anymore and could just be herself. It really sounds like she needed to act a certain way in order to survive getting bullied, or worse. Dang, she really must not have met Chloe before then, or heard anything about her if she thought living with her mom and sister would be better. But in a way, it is better for her, because she has Marinette and the kids at school now. And she has Andre who's probably a better parent to her than her actual parents. Which is surprising and also not at the same time. "We end up hiding our feelings deep down in here." Okay so he says that with a booklet that has Emilie's face on it held up to his chest. Now, it may just be nothing but him thinking about his director dream. But. It could've also been any other object he held to his heart, it could've been something without a face on it or at least not her face. And Andre did work with Emilie. So I would not be surprised at all if there was something there that this is hinting at. Hmmmm. Also, I guess that's not Tomoe Tsurugi? Even though it's Kagami's model they used. And she's really pretty, too! Maybe something will come from this, or the animators didn't think it through when they added that image. Who knows. Even Chloe's first thought when she's in trouble is to go to Marinette what the heck 😂 When Kaalki teleported into Adrien's room...had Adrien turned around as it

happened he would've seen enough of her room to recognize it. Instead the portal changed and was outdoors. But lol poor Kaalki slamming against the window! All his things getting sucked in and Plagg's cheese was hilarious. XD Chloe's second thought of where to go: Luka's. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 🤔 "This winner and loser thing doesn't exist!" Sad that Chloe thinks this way at all, who even taught her this? x.x Chat Noir: Did somebody start off on the wrong foot today? Marinette: I'm not finished! Chat Noir: Huh? LOL I laughed so hard at this moment. Did she forget who she is at the moment because even Chat's like what "I will always support you!" AWWWWWW what a good friend! And I think by helping Zoe become stronger, she'll in turn help Chloe be a better person too. But I'll talk about this again later. Poor Sabrina in this episode, my goodness. She works in a tiny closet and has to run along the limo. Chloe's seriously getting awful. Zoe's charm is the cutest one so far! So pretty. Ivan giving Zoe a hug was the cutest thing ever. Like, I don't ship them, but this shouldn't have anything to do with it. He and the rest of the kids care about her and respect her for being open and honest with her struggles, and want to be there for her. It's so wholesome. 😭 I find it interesting that even Audrey in this episode doesn't always know how to react to Chloe. xD But thank you Andre for caring enough about her to keep her in Paris and trying to keep some peace between the two. "For the first time in my life, I feel at home." 😭😭😭😭😭 Just imagine for a minute if Marinette didn't bother to help Zoe, believed how she acted at school rather than when she met her, and didn't tell the other kids about what was going on. Everything for her would be so drastically different. All because Marinette showed some kindness. Now onto Queen Banana. Well poor Marinette can't help but faceplant on the news. xD I can just tell what Alya leaned into say "You okay, girl?" and Marinette mumbling under the cape, "that's what the news is going to see of me, aren't they?" "Afraid so." "groan" Ah okay, Thomas was an alumni of the school. Cool. Poor Andre, he's just doing what Zoe suggested of him and not give up his dream of directing! I wonder if being around Luka and Juleka made Zoe want to put that pink streak in her hair. xD I want Luka and Zoe to be really good friends, that'd be so cool. Chloe being really awful some more. To everybody. I've noticed a pattern and I think I have her figured out pretty well. I'll be writing a in-depth post about her soon! She's making them change the entire movie just for her. xPP I said to my sister, "as soon as she leaves they should just film their original ideas." They do, thank goodness. xD I got so happy that we get an Adrienette scene in this ep! And then I saw he's locked in a cage, willingly, smiling at Marinette while the door shuts and I just burst out laughing. He's not even nervous he's locked in a cage, suspended in the air! Booooooy must like Marinette a lot! "Now let's take care of Adrien and get him out of that cage." OMG thank you, Marinette. While the image of him is comical, it's making me so uncomfortable that someone's up there like that and that someone also being terrified of being locked up in such a small space. Also, how long do you think Adrien would've stayed up there had Marinette not said something? Oh? What a change of pace, when Adrien goes to try to make things better for everyone, he screws it up pretty badly to be what really drives Chloe to get akumatized. She may have cooled off enough on her own as she tells Adrien "I'm fine." ...until he suggests apologizing to everyone. "You promised to stop being rude to everyone. And I told you that we couldn't be friends otherwise." OOF. Okay so her reaction to this really goes into the territory I want to talk about in my upcoming post about Chloe. "Banana BOOM BOOM!" lololol it sounds so funny in German dub xDD Marinette instantly pulling Zoe away from the attack x33 Ladybug's spin move with Chat Noir XD

it's like what's happening we're fighting an akuma not dancing This entire akuma feels like a Donkey Kong game and I love it. Those games are my childhood. Ooof Ladybug needs to be more careful with her Lucky Charms, they can sometimes be massive! Like that giant doughnut in Weredad. I seriously legit thought that the Gorilla was Gorilla, Adrien's bodyguard before the episode aired. XD The best heroes in this show tend to be the ones that have the most self-doubt, have you noticed? Ladybug, Carapace, and Vesperia all expressed serious doubt in themselves being a superhero, but when they suit up they're fierce! Like they were born to be a hero. Don't worry about Chat kissing Vesperia's hand. That's just the way he is, it's not in a flirting way. c: I remember when people freaked out about Rena Rouge and Chat Noir. It's the same as that, nothing more. "Or I'll turn her into baby mush!" LOL Chloe threatening to turn Ladybug into baby food hahaha that sounds so outrageous and weird that it's funny. And yet in this situation, would be actually possible so it's quite disturbing....hm. Dang, Hawk Moth trying to reakumatize her immediately. You go Zoe, speak up for yourself! And good on Andre for putting his foot down about Zoe too. "You may hate me, but I love you. And I'll always love you even if the whole world hates you." OKAY, THAT WAS REALLY BEAUTIFUL. Including the way she convinced Chloe to take the charm. Marinette's literally in hearing range of Adrien as she's talking to Tikki LOL she's like 5-6 feet away maybe? But that's okay, he probably would think nothing of it if he heard Marinette talking lol. I really like Zoe's character, I think she makes a wonderful addition to the show and that her character is extremely important. ;) Again I'll talk about it in my upcoming post! I've really noticed a lot of things when it comes to Chloe that I look forward to sharing my thoughts on sometime early this week. I really don't think things are as clear cut as a lot of people seem to think about her.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #462

i am way too tired to mentally flip through lyrics to put here, rip

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) I have zero idea. When did you last travel alone? Where were you going? The last time I visited Sara in Illinois. Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes. What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? I think I got purple highlights? What was the first social media site you ever used? MySpace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? One. Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Sara's house is lovely. Have you ever been catcalled? No. Are you allergic to any dogs? I might be. Have you ever touched a plant and had hives shoot up your arm? No. Do you think dragonflies are cool? Absolutely! What’s your favorite thing to draw? Meerkats!! Did you toss your hat in the air at graduation? Not high. I wanted to keep it. Do you like fudge? I CAN FUCKING DESTROY SOME FUDGE. Are you an affectionate person? Very. Name something you have to do today: Girt and I are hangin', making fun of bad Netflix anime and going to Buffalo Wild Wings. :^) Would you ever write to a death row inmate? No. People don't get on death row for no reason. I ain't got shit to say to them. Do you reckon online friendships are real? No fucking shit. Most of my most genuine friendships began online. Do you like Slipknot? Yep. Can we talk about how fuckin BADASS Corey's new mask is btw?????????? What do you think of Gorillaz? I like "Feel Good Inc." and one other song I can't remember the name of. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? BOTH!!!!! :') What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? GUYS I recently saw a picture of a little baby dressed up as a Little Oogie Boogie and it made my ovaries cry. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Jesus, Girt is a giant. I don't know about my shortest... If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you choose? Pastel pink. :') What has been the best night of your life so far? Why? Probably something sexual so let's keep it on the down low lmfaooo Would you ever even think about taking part in a wet t-shirt contest? Uh, no. Even if I WAS confident in my body. Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? No. It was dirty blonde. Have you ever been in trouble for being too loud? Ha, yeah, at school with friends. Not big trouble or anything, we were just hushed. Did you ever attend a wedding that was a complete disaster? No. What is something that you were surprised you were able to do? Hm. What is the most bullshit-sounding true fact that you know? Male cats have spiked penises lkasdjfal;kje;kjwr it's something to do with preventing other tomcats from mating with her. What Oreo flavor is your favorite? Gimme that Double Stuffed, friend. Sour gummy worms or plain gummy worms? SOUR. Ever been in a talent show? How many times? What did you do? Nope. Ever try out for the talent show and not make it? Did you cry? Nope. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever cried about? Y'all when I was a very little kid, during my older sister's b-day party, I sobbed because I couldn't pin the tail properly on the donkey lmaoooo How do you feel about the use of nuclear weapons? Absolutely fucking barbaric. What song has the most meaning to you? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus!!!! :') Have you ever made bread? No. Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Pets, a baby I was watching after, and Jason. Ever been dominated in a game you were/are really good at? yep alskdjfla;jwej Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? Wild animal, I guess? Have you ever listened to a group of chanting monks? I haven't. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? Probably of Teddy. I've still yet to decide on the total design of his tribute tat I'm getting. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? I think so, yeah. How mad would you be if someone copied your original work (story, poem)? I'd be pretty fuckin pissed. Have you ever blown something up in science class? Ha, no. Have you ever gotten a serious wound from shaving? Not serious, no. Have you invented anything, only to find out it actually exists? I feel like I have? Ever realize you never truly LOVED your first love? Absolutely not. I loved him. Would you want a Bachelor/Bachelorette party before you get married? Sure, sounds fun. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? As of very recently, I returned to using pads. I used tampons for most of my maturity, but I got annoyed with them for TMI reasons and resorted back to pads, even though I don't like them either. Have you ever dated a model? No. What is your ultimate goal in life? To die happy with my life and what I (hopefully) accomplished. What colour are the socks you’re wearing today? I’m not wearing any. Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? Girt. It was something regarding how I once considered doing the suicide mission at BWW where you eat a select number of their hottest wings, but I didn't wanna die via chicken. :^) Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? I'm average in height. I wouldn't change it, nah. Especially now that Girt and I are together the ridiculous height difference is hilarious but also cute lmao. Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? Like, while I was there? No. Have you ever had casual sex? Nahhhh. What’s your favourite flavour of frosting? Chocolate. @_@ When you think of your childhood, are the memories mostly happy or sad? Mostly happy, I guess. What is it like being you? Is it enjoyable? It's very boring with few sources of joy. What are your thoughts on the cause of homosexuality? I would *assume* it's a genetic mutation. Reason being, having a romantic partnership without the ability to reproduce defies the motives of science. There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, wrong with said (and hypothetical) genetic mutation, though. Mutations are just another part of science. They occur naturally. What subjects did you find most interesting in school? Least? Most interesting: literature/English (especially reading like, old mythology and epics and stuff like that), LOTS of branches of science (but primarily genetics), art, and I looooved my four semesters of German. Least: ANY and ALL math, history, economics, social studies... that kind of stuff. Which do you enjoy more–hot or cold beverages? Cold, for sure. What were some of your favorite bands from childhood? Green Day was one. Would you be more afraid of drowning or being buried alive? Buried alive, for sure. It would be much, much slower. Should you really be doing something more productive right now? Well, I SHOULD be sleeping. Today's going to be a long day, because when Girt comes over, he has a tendency to not leave until like fuckin midnight or later alksdjfl;waje Have you ever lived out of your car? No. Does your family own more than two houses? HUNNY we r poor. A relative just committed a very serious crime, do you turn them in? It depends on the exact crime, but odds are, yes. If you're endangering others, byyyyeeee. You’re in the woods, alone, at night…are you honestly not afraid? Bitch I'm terrified. I have zero survival skills. You are on life support, what would you want a loved one to do about it? For the love of god, please kill me. Your child has only a while to live, do you still enroll them in school? That would be up to them. Also, define "a while." How would you feel if you met your idol and they ended up being rude? WELP I have a tattoo in his honor so that would suck ass lmao According to the tale, was Eve wrong for eating and sharing the apple? "God was wrong for even setting up an apple tree and making up rules in the first place." <<<< There ya go. And the punishment was fucking ludicrously extreme. Are you working on any goals? Yes. I'm currently going to the gym regularly to try and better my physical health and then find a job. I know that being connected sounds odd, but trust me: I can barely carry out very simple tasks just because I have absolutely ZERO stamina to do almost anything. I need energy and endurance. I'm also working towards developing some self-love. Which parent named you? I wanna say my mom. Are you currently frustrated with someone? I mean, myself. Aforementioned self-love is hard. I'm just annoyed my head is so reluctant to accept that I'm not a piece of shit for a million reasons. Why have most of your past relationships ended? They all ended for different reasons, really. Are you having any online conversations, currently? I'm not. What’s on your mind? I'm just tired and going back to bed real soon. Have you ever had an argument with a teacher? No.

[sunsetcurveofficial]

fics by yours truly

sometimes i write. you can find me on ao3 here. this is a list of all my most relevant fics. there are some ouat/cs and doctor who/tenrose ones to be found on my ao3 as well, though. 

Merlin/Merthur:

golden as i open my eyes

The Once and Future King shall unite the lands of Albion and bring magic back to the kingdom, they'd said. But then Arthur had died before any of that could come to pass and Merlin had to make the easy choice to bring him back by giving him half of his own remaining lifespan. Well, he might have miscalculated a bit. So there they were, on the verge of a golden age, and the possibilities suddenly seemed limitless. The story they were a part of had just taken a different turn.

Words: 16,404; Rating: M

Love, Merlin

Merlin and Arthur have been best friends since they were kids, but even though they’re inseparable, life always seems to be getting in their way, separating them against their will. Timing, fate, and life itself seem to have conspired against them and when it comes to love, there always seems to be someone else. Will they ever get their timing right and both realize that they were meant to be together since the beginning of time (quite literally), and that even across time and space, the bond they share can never be severed? A tale of magic, friendship, family, and a love that outlasts centuries.

(Love Rosie AU)

Words: 66,823; Rating: M

Dreams Don’t Turn To Dust

In a world where every person starts dreaming about their soulmate on the day of their 16th birthday, Prince Arthur is expected to be the soulmate of a beautiful princess. But when the big day finally rolls around, it turns out that his true soulmate is as far from a beautiful princess as one could get… a peasant boy with magic.

Words: 4221; Rating: T

Podfic read by me: [Podfic] Dreams Don't Turn To Dust

The Frog King

Arthur gets turned into a frog when he tries to protect Merlin from Morgana, and there’s only one way to reverse the spell.

Words: 3105; Rating: T

Sleepyhead

Merlin has a habit of falling asleep after sex and Arthur loves teasing him for it. That is, until a very sleepy Merlin accidentally proposes to him one night… or does he?

Words: 1874; Rating: M

Of Bumbling Fools and Awkward Nights

At the end of the day real life just wasn’t like the movies, and it wasn’t like fancy novels loved to describe it.

In which Merlin is clumsy, Arthur farts, and their first night together just isn’t quite like either of them expected.

Words: 2245; Rating: M

Worth It

Sometimes Merlin thought about that first night in the pub, when he’d been sure that putting up with Arthur Pendragon wasn’t worth any possible benefit that might come from it at all. Looking at the wide and shining smile in front of him now, he knew it had been worth it after all; all of it.

Words: 2921; Rating: T

With All My Heart And Soul

Arthur couldn’t believe that it had taken him an awful lot of alcohol on multiple occasions to finally get to this point. Well, that, and a firm kick in the arse by Gwaine, who probably had planned it all out all along and was smirking smugly to himself now.

Words: 8112; Rating: M

Nothing but the Truth

After almost eight years of being Arthur’s manservant and friend, Merlin was pretty certain that he’d seen almost everything and that nothing could truly surprise him anymore. Goblins, trolls, love spells, donkeys - he’d seen it all. But nothing could have prepared him for this: Arthur under the influence of a truth serum that showed them all just how much the king liked to keep to himself. Usually.

Words: 7363; Rating: T

Harry Potter/Drarry:

Antidote 

Harry and Draco are ex-bandmates, formerly the two most popular members of the world's most successful boyband of their time, Diagon Alley. What nobody knows? They are also ex-lovers, who haven't seen each other in 3 years, ever since Draco left the band. Unknowingly, they've been invited to the same event, where they inevitably run into each other and both realise that they're far from over that thing they had. Turns out that you can only run for so long until you run out of breath and that every secret has a habit of coming out eventually.

Words: about 37k when it’s complete; Rating: M

High on Our History

Sometimes a single decision can change your whole history. Sometimes a simple question and a little bit of insistence can make all the difference. Sometimes all you need is someone who thinks you deserve a second chance. 

Draco nearly crumbles under the weight of the Dark Mark and the task he has been given. It’s like a constant weight on his shoulders that just would not let him breathe, would not budge, no matter how hard he tries. But there is another constant during his horrendous sixth year at Hogwarts, always around a corner, always watching: Potter. And Potter seems hellbent on saving him.

Words: 72,736; Rating: M

Gilmore Girls/Literati: 

Nice Little Place in the Stars

“Oh my god,” Lorelai announced as she put down the new chapter of Rory’s manuscript. Rory frowned at her, eyebrows raised in question. “You’re still in love with him. You realize that, don't you, honey? You’re still in love with Jess.” Rory sunk back into her chair as the realisation dawned on her that Lorelai was right. She’d known, deep down, but having her mother confront her like that with the truth… 

“Oh my god!” She jumped up, her hands nervously rubbing over her growing belly as she started pacing. “Oh my god! I’m in love with Jess! I love Jess. I’m still in love with him.”

Words: 10,579; Rating: T

more to come and be added soon <3 

[86-was-his-year]

Totally Rad | p.s.h

Warnings: Bullying, near sexual harassment, violence, swearing, domestic violence, anxiety, lots of crying, if you have an issue with any of these please don’t read this isn’t the right book for you.

Summary: It’s 1985 and arcades are the perfect place to meet your soulmate.

A/N: This took like 2 months and it’s like 12,000 words please don’t let this flop. Sorry for spelling errors I proofread as much as I could handle. 

The wind blows harshly as I make my way to the small arcade around the corner. It's a chilly October morning in 1985 and my thin sweater isn't doing enough to keep the wind out. I watch as the cars pass me by, all looking ahead ready to get to their desired destinations. They barely turned an eye toward a freezing kid on the side of the road, nobody trusted each other anymore. The small arcade came into view and I saw the doors filled with flyers and posters for new games that came in, as well as a small logo dead center.

'Pips Arcade'

The perfect job for a senior in high school. It was easy to work around here but I'd rather do this than scoop ice cream for the annoying kids down at the mall or be an assistant in a small news office. They treat women like slaves over there, my friend Betty told me so. She can't get a better job so she's currently stuck there.

"Y/N! You made it!" Maria, a small 15 year old girl stood behind the counter giving some kid their coins before telling them to have fun. She was always optimistic when it came to working, especially with the kids that came in.

"I'm five minutes early." She acted like I wasn't coming at all. Sometimes people really did leave her there and she called me at home to take her shift because she couldn't be out late. It wasn't her fault she was paranoid but it irked me just a tad to think that she thought I wasn't coming.

"I know. You're always early." She signed off on the slip of paper and I signed in before setting my things in the back room.

"Have a good night, Maria." The gave her a wide smile before shooing her away.

"Hey, my family is having a bonfire to burn all of our junk. Do you want to come. My parents would really like to meet you!" She held the door open for some more kids before turning back to me.

"I'll think about it." My response was short but I didn't hurt her feelings. I didn't plan on going but there was no reason to tell her that. Knowing her she'll invite five more people before hearing an official response from me. She's always been the type to make friends no matter who they were. It was kind of a gift if I was being honest.

"Bye!" She waved and let the door shut on it's own a small drift catching it's way in causing me to shiver behind the counter. It was really time to invest in a coat but with the stress of trying to buy a car and help my parents stay afloat it really wasn't the time to be selfish.

My family. An easy way to explain them would be dysfunctional, abusive, selfish. My older brother had left when he got the chance, but not before sticking it to my dad. I got beat for that one. We occasionally talk but its usually on holidays or if I can get access to a phone. Sometimes if the arcade is slow I borrow Pips landline and call my brother, he seldom answers. I look around at the kids and wonder why they get it so good, how a 10 year old can get two dollars from their mom or dad to get coins at the arcade. If I found money as a kid it was going straight to my parents no questions asked, the scar on my right hip reminds me of that.

"Excuse me miss?" I was pulled from my thoughts as a small kid walked up to the counter, "May I have some more coins please?" He put a dollar on the counter and I took it with a smile, handing him six coins back. Pip likes to be real generous so instead of the regular four coins he has us give them six, hes nice like that.

"Have fun." He laughed and ran away to give some to his friend. Sometimes I envy that. The look he gets when he has someone to talk to, someone to share with. I never had enough to share anything. I was about to go back into my thoughts when the bell in the door rang I turned to say a greeting and I stopped when I saw four teens walk through the door. They were jocks and anyone with a pair of eyes could see that, their varsity jackets clinging to their arms like a medal.

"Hello." I got over my shock and said a mandatory greeting, Pip likes us to be formal.

"Hi!" One of them shooed the others away and walked towards me. The closer he got the more intimidated and fidgety I became. At school jocks were known for unnecessary violence and bullying, I was always a target.

"W-what can can I get for you?" I felt my eyes slightly widen at my stutter it hadn't come out in years yet here it was crawling back up my throat. It was something I learned to control a while ago, my father insisting I not speak until I dealt with it. The boy looked at me and I saw something flash across his eyes it didn't look malicious to harmful but it looked different. Not like when my dad got angry after hearing my stutter. It was something else, something warm.

"Can I get some coins for a five?" He pulled out a five dollar bill and slid it across the counter putting his hands back into his pocket after I took the bill.

"Sure." I put the bill into the register and typed the number into the coin slot. I grabbed a small bag and put it under the receiver just to make it easier for him.

"Hey, you go to OS right?" I stopped in my tracks, "I think I've seen you around." I pressed the button and let the coins fall into the bag.

"Yeah, I do." I looked back and saw him watching me. I turned back to the coins and pulled them away from the receiver once it was done filling. I twisted the back and put it up onto the counter.

"You're a senior right, I think we have AP US History together." I looked down at my hands before looking back up at him.

"Maybe I'm not sure. I don't really talk to anyone in that class." I smiled lightly before looking away, keeping eye contact was so hard for me it almost felt impossible.

"Hey, Park!" He turned back and shooed his friends away for just a second.

"Well, I'll keep an eye out for you. You got a name?" I took a breath and pushed my fear away. I wasn't just going to leave him hanging I know it would haunt me for months to come. I wasn't going to be that girl.

"It's Y/N." I smiled at him and he smiled back, his teeth shining so bright I could almost think they were fake.

"Pretty, I'll see you around, Y/N." He took the bag from the counter and smoothly walked away. The way my name rolled off his lips made my heart skip a beat or two. I had never gotten attention like that and I couldn't help but want more of it, for some reason it felt good to be acknowledged by him. All my life it was beat her, call her names, make sure that she knows she's trash and soon I began to believe it but hes making me feel different. He even called my name pretty.

I scolded myself. I couldn't be thinking about this I didn't even know his name, I mean I know his last name is Park but only because it says it on his jacket. His last name with a big two on the back in black, white, and red, OS colors. Why didn't I see it before logically I should've known as soon as he walked in. I guess my fear just blinded my brain. I really wanted to look at him again and I looked up to find some of his friends looking at me, a small smile on their faces. I quickly looked away and went to cleaning under the shelves. Maria really needed to learn how to keep organized.

Time passed in the small arcade and kids came and went with smiles and laughs. It was great to see them happy. Them talking about girls or boys that they had crushes on or how their math teacher sucks Donkey Kong's dick, yes that's something I've actually heard. All their juvenile fears and worries are something that I have envied for so long. Sometimes my brain thinks of what my family could have been and honestly it's just my subconscious throwing a pity party for myself.

"Hey Y/N?" The boy from earlier came up to the counter with a little girl had to be no more than 8, her black hair pulled up in two ponytails secured with a pink ribbons. He smiled and slid another five over, "Can I get some more coins please?" I smiled and nodded taking the five and repeating the process over again. I put the coins in the bag and slid them back across the counter.

"Now," he crouched down to her level and handed her all the coins. "go take these and share them with the rest of the kids okay. You'll have so many friends you won't even believe." He patted the little girls shoulder and watched her as she ran off the coin jingling in her grasp.

"Thank you mister." She waved and went over to a small group of kids, offering the coins to play with her they all screamed in glee and hugged her. So, it was that easy to make friends huh?

"Why did you do that?" I couldn't hold back the curiosity he spent 10 dollars here today, 10 dollars. That's a lot for an arcade and money usually isn't tossed around like that.

"She was crying over there. She had no coins and no friends it's hard out there if you have no friends. Look at that," he pointed to the gathering at Pac Man. The girl was laughing and watching some boy play. "instant happiness."

"Why are you so nice?" The question came out like rushing water. I didn't want to push him because for all I know he could come out and be a total jerk.

"Where would I be in life if I was rude? There's really no point." He shrugged and leaned on the counter, his stance was calm. He watches his friends mess around at street fighter and he watched the girl with her new found friends at Pac Man.

"But you're a jock. You have every right to be rude." I sounded defensive and I urged myself to relax, my shoulder were tensed and my hands were crossed at my chest, my body basically telling him that I didn't trust him.

"I mean I play a sport yeah, and I have a bunch of friends but that doesn't give me the right to be rude. I think it's just a stereotype to be completely honest, based on some assholes who were jocks you know. Being a jerk only gets you alone." His words really rang true, I was stereotyping him and I found myself disgusted with myself.

"I'm sorry." I let my hands fall against the counter, finally relaxing.

"Its alright. I mean it's a stereotype for a reason. Some jocks do think they can get away with being rude. Not this one." He smiled and pointed to himself.

"I never got your name." I said pulling over the stool that sat there for slow days.

"Oh, its Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa." He pushed out his hand and I took it with a smile. He went back to leaning against the counter but this time he was facing me.

"Do you live around here?" He asked smiling. He held my eye contact and I found my heart skipping a few beats again.

"Um, no it's like 10 blocks away." I pointed in the direction my house and I finally took notice of the sky outside. The sun had set and it looked pitch black except for the dim yellow street lights that lit the roads.

"I didn't see another car in the parking lot, do you walk?" Worry flashes across his face and I found myself not wanting to tell him the truth. I had a feeling it would worry him even more if I confirmed his suspicions.

"Yeah but it really doesn't feel like a long time." I waved him off and smiled. He opened his mouth to say something but his friends interrupted him.

"Hey, Hwa I gotta get home. My moms got a casserole in the oven. Wanna join, you know she loves you." A short boy with blonde hair came up to Seonghwa and put an arm around him.

"No, I can't I got family plans tonight but I'll take you home." He stood up fully and the guys arm fell back to his side, not being able to comfortably sit on Seonghwas broad shoulders.

"And who's this pretty lady?" I found my cheeks heating up at the compliment. He seemed slick and his feline eyes held deep brown orbs. They are soft but sharp at the same.

"Guys this is Y/N, Y/N these are the guys." He moved out of the way and I stood up to politely greet them.

"Wooyoung." The blonde haired boy waved and moved to the side.

"Yeosang." He has beautiful auburn hair and brown eyes that I could stare into forever.

"Hongjoong." The last guy had light brown hair that came to a mullet at the end. And on his hand I saw one painted fingernail.

I hated to make the observation but Seonghwa really was better looking than all of them. With his tanned skin and heading highlights nobody in this group matched his complexion, he was almost unreal.

"It was really nice to meet you Y/N. We'll see you around." Seonghwa held the door open for his friends and waved to me as the door shut, letting the cold night air in again. I waved back and sighed my gut telling me that they were just going to tall about how ugly I was on the ride home. My brain really wouldn't let me have anything good.

"Hey kids, I'm gonna have to ask you to finish up your games." I went out from behind the counter and started shutting down the games that were being used, alas it was closing time at Pip's Arcade. One by one the kids walked out the door to their parents or I saw groups of them riding away on bikes the ideal transportation for kids these days. I began to wish that I had a bike when I was younger, the thought of being able to ride away from my parents whenever I wanted to because a little fantasy of mine. Maybe that's why they never let me buy a bike, I mean if I ever learned how to ride a bike that's what I would be doing.

I began to do small chores like wiping down the screens of the games as well as the windows and doors to the arcade. The keys and joysticks have already been disinfected and all the coins that were used today were put in a separate bucket to keep inventory. I refilled up the coin machine and double checked that everything else was stocked.

The bathrooms were usually the worst part, sometimes kids didn't flush and there was literal shit everywhere or the paper towels and toilet paper were thrown haphazardly around the room. Thankfully it wasn't as bad as it usually was, a couple napkins and candy wrappers here and there but nothing too bad and for sure nothing that I couldn't handle.

The last thing to do was to do a once-over of everything to make sure that it was all good before locking the back door and taking the trash out of the front, locking the glass doors behind me. Each one of the closing staff has a key of their own so we could just close up and Pip wouldn't have to worry about coming to close it up at night. I put the trash in the side bin and turned to go home.

"Hey, pretty girl!" I turned around in shock to find Seonghwa sitting on one of the small decorative poles we had set up at the front, a bag of colorful candy in his hand. He looked me straight in the eyes and pulled some of the gummy candy out of the bag before popping one side in his mouth, stretching it until it broke off his his teeth.

"Seonghwa, what are you doing here? Don't you have family plans?" I tightened my grip on the backpack strap on my shoulder and took a deep breath. This is where he takes me around the corner and slits my throat and no one will ever find my body like with that one handsome murderer. What was his name again?

"Just thought you might like a ride. It's too cold to walk without a coat now." He finished off his gummy and put the rest in his pocket. He hopped off the pole and walked over to me.

"You really don't have to. I can walk." I looked you at him and I finally realized how tall he really was. My neck had a small stretch from looking up at him and I literally just started. His skin was also so smooth I wouldn't believe he was a teenager, it was almost like he was a robot. I mean my dad was saying that Russia made robots already but that was only when he was drunk.

"Well, I really want to." He looped his arm around my shoulders and guided me to the car opening the door for me to slide right in. His car was actually really nice it was clean which was a really big plus. The seats were black and the outside was a light blue a really good match for him.

I sat on the plush leather seats and held my bag on my lap, not knowing till now how uncomfortable it was to sit in a bar with a backpack. He opened his door and hopped in putting on his seat belt and then started the car. The engine sounded impressive for how the car looked but then again I haven't sat in a car for long time.

"Seat belt." He looked over at me with expectant eyes. Like I was meant to do something for him.

"What?" I looked at him in confusion and he smiled lightly.

"Here," he reaches over my chest and pushed my bag out of the way a little before grabbing something next to me and pulling it across my chest. It clicked by my hip and I looked back up at him, "seat belt." He smiled and then pit the car in reverse looking back before smoothly pulling out of the parking spot.

I guess I hadn't been a car in longer than I thought. My dad's car didn’t have seat belts or if it did he never told us. It also felt weird I was so used to walking so seeing everything go by so fast was crazy, I looked out the window to see if I could catch every single house with my eye.

"How do you get to school Y/N?" Seonghwa had his hand on the little console nub, occasionally shifting the nub making the car change in speed and the other on the steering wheel.

"I walk every morning." I looked over at him and his eyes were focused on the road.

"Your parents don't take you to school?" He shifted gears again and I gave him a small direction to turn left.

"They don't have time to take me to school anymore," like they eleven did in the first place, "I'm really fine with walking. It wakes me up in the morning." He sighed and shook his head.

"Its gonna start getting really cold soon. Do you have a coat?" He looked over at me and caught me looking at him so I turned towards the window again. I put my forehead against it and found that it was freezing, it soothed the beginnings of a headache.

"No, why do you care so much?" I didn't want to sound defensive but with the way he sighed I knew that I did.

"I don't know Y/N. You just can't go around walking in winter with no coat." He said and I pointed to the he small house at the end of the street. The rotting shingles of the cream colored house were hidden bu the darkness of the night but everyone could see the house. It looked like the drug house, every neighborhood had one. This one just happened to be my home.

"It's not winter yet." I grumbled and he chuckled.

"You are just so stubborn aren't you?" He pulled into the driveway and put the car in park.

"I mean I think I'm pretty reasonable." I shrugged and smiled at him. He looked at me and rolled his eyes with a light smile.

"I'm picking you up from now on." He turned to look straight ahead at the garage door which house an old 1950 car that my father only used to go to the bar.

"Seonghwa you can't. It's completely out of the way. It's a waste of gas." I turned to him in my seat and tried to reason with him. Even him being here now was a risk if my dad saw him taking me home we were both toast. He would kill both of us.

"It's okay. I have a good paying job. I can't just let you walk in the cold. I'll let you walk again in the springtime." He let his hands fall into his lap and he turned to me for the first time since he started this conversation. His eyes were warm and genuine, it felt calm and serene it was like the moment in the movies were nobody speaks but they just know and they kiss and gross shit. I just knew he was being genuine.

"Fine. Just park across the street and I'll walk to your car, okay?" I looked down at the seat belt and began to try and pull it off. It just kept getting tighter and tighter and I sighed looking for something for it to unlock.

"Deal." He reached towards my hip and the pressure on my lap disappeared. The buckle went back to its place by the door and I smiled, I was so dumb. I grabbed the handle and opened the door.

"Bye Seonghwa." I grabbed the frame of the door and was going to shut it when he stopped me,

"Hey wait," he reached into his pocket and pulled put the candy, "for making my day." I took the bag with a smile and gave him a small wave before heading into the house.

The door creaked and I turned around to watch Seonghwa pull out of the driveway and back down the street. I shut the door quietly and locked it up, knowing my dad would have a fit if he woke up and it wasn't locked. He was asleep in his easy chair the light snoring in the living room telling me to go nowhere near there. I put my bag back on my shoulders and walked quietly into the kitchen grabbing a plate from the fridge before making my way up the stairs.

My mom was one of the exceptions to the abuse and the dysfunction. She married my father when they were young, she had no idea what he would become. She told me once that she was going to just run away and leave but then she found out that she was pregnant with my brother and she stayed. She was a flower in the desert, it's what I like to call her.

"Mommy?" I put the plate and my bag in my room before taking to the hallways to find her.

"In here dear," I followed her voice to the bathroom. She was in the bath her hair pulled up and a book in her hands, "I borrowed this from your room. Hope you don't mind but I've read all mine twice already." She laughed and folded the book to show me the cover. IT by Stephen King. It came out earlier this year and has been one of my favorite books up to date.

"Not at all, mind if I eat in here with you?" I waited until she nodded to go grab my plate. It was meatloaf and mashed potatoes my father's favorite. He must have been in a bad mood today, the fresh bruise on my moms arm was also a dead giveaway. She knows that I see it and yet I don't say anything. I know it breaks her heart.

"So, this Stephen guy is kind of messed up." She flipped the page and then folded the corner, which made my heart die a little but I let her do it because I love my mom.

"Yeah, I think he's made a couple of others and there all messed up. They have like murder and like spiritual powers and stuff. He's the new King of horror. Get it?" I laughed at my own joke and she began chuckling as well.

"How did I make something so perfect?" He grabbed my cheek and caressed her fingers against it. They were soft and warm comforting, like ever mothers touch.

"I mean have you looked in the mirror? Look at all that beauty." I knew that if I let her indulge in how much she loved me I would begin to cry. We often cried together because we both know we deserve better than this. We deserve a nice house in a cul de sac with a good dad and husband who cooks while my mom takes her baths and reads.

"Oh shut up." She laughed and patted my head before finally putting her hands in the bath and relaxing. "How was work?" She closed her eyes but I knew she was listening. I reached over and shut the door lightly.

 "It was good. Maria thought I wasn't coming in once again." I leaned against the tub and began to finish my dinner.

"That girl needs to relax." My mom shifted in the water and the sound of water moving around instantly relaxed me.

"Well, they've left her there alone three times. That's three times too many." I put my plate off time the side and took a deep breath. "I also met a boy." My mom sucked in a deep breath and I shut my eyes tight.

"You can't bring him here. You know that right?" My moms voice turned serious and I sighed.

"He wants to pick me up every morning. He's worried cause I walk alone at night in the cold." She shifted in the water again and I knew she was looking at me.

"Y/N, you remember the last time you brought someone over? He hurt you so bad, you were so young." She caressed my hair and I felt the water droplets fall down the back of my neck.

"I told him to park across the street. Hopefully hes here after dad leaves." I sighed and leaned into her touch, a small tear leaving the corner of my eye.

"Good. Now, tell me about him. Is he cute?" The rest of the night went smoothly we talked for hours or until the water in the tub got cold then we went to her rooms after doing the dishes together and I braided her hair. We talked about Seonghwa and what I want to do when I'm older. It was really anything and everything. I fell asleep in her comforting arms as light rain began to pour from the sky.

I woke up to my mom shaking my arm. It had to be before the sun was up because the only light in the room was the light coming from the bathroom. She stood above me with a pile of clothes, "I washed these for you. Go put them away. Your father's gone." I sat up and took them from her, a fresh pair of underwear sat on the top of the pile. That meant I was able to shower today.

The water was nice and warm against my back. It has been about three days since my last shower and I was already beginning to feel grimy. After sweating at work and in my gym class it was time to take care of myself a bit. I never showered when my dad is here you never know when he'll pop in to go pee even when there's a bathroom downstairs.

My mom insisted she brush my hair and style it, something she's done ever since I was a kid. She put it in a half up half down look that was becoming more and more popular. She even sprayed a little perfume on my neck, something she only did for special occasions.

"You know I love you right?" She smiled and gave me a hug. He made eye contact in the mirror and I could see her eyes were full of love.

"I know, mommy. I love you too." I hugged her arms and then turned around for a full hug.

"Go wait for your friend. I'll see you when you get home." She kissed my forehead and I grabbed my bag from my room, the bag of gummy worms still in the front pouch. Turns out my mom had excellent timing, Seonghwa showing up right as I reached the window to watch.

"Is this a good time?" I opened the door and he greeted me with that." I nodded and put my bag on my lap reaching for the seat belt while looking for what it clicked into. The silver metal box with the red button on it seemed like a good spot and I got it in on the first try.

"So, do you live around here?" I wanted to know how far away he lived so I could measure how much has he was using to pick me up.

"Yeah, actually. Its really just right around the corner. About 3 blocks that way." He pointed to the right and I nodded. That was the rich people neighborhood, everyone knew that.

"Okay that's not horrible." I looked out the window again and watched the trees go by. It was gloomy today, the remnants of the rain still dripping from the tree branches.

"Hey, so me and a couple of friends are going to see a drive-in movie tonight. Wanna go?" His eyes were still on the road when I looked at him. Is the asking me out on a date? It was honestly a foreign concept to me but first dates are always to the movies. But he said his friends were going so it wasn't just us.

"I don't have any money." I felt embarrassed at the fact that I truly didn't have money for things like that.

"I can pay for you. Its gonna be rad." He chuckled and looked at me for assurance.

"Are you sure you want me to come?" I looked at him and found him staring at me, the look in his eyes much like the one of my mother's but different.

"Of course. I hope you like horror though." He turned back to the road and pulled into the school parking lot, finding a spot close to the door. Student athletes get privileges what can I say.

"Which one is it?" Not that I really would have an idea of what it was. I haven't seen a movie in theaters since my fifth birthday, the last birthday party I ever had.

"Aliens, it came out a couple years ago. They’re just now allowed to show it at the drive-in." The way he talked about it made me excited. His smile pulling his cheeks up and making his eyes squint. Stop. You can't think like that, hes just trying to be nice. Befriending the loner girl would make his reputation soar.

"Hey, we're here." He out his hand on my shoulder and I instantly flinched. I chuckled and shook it off.

"Sorry I was thinking about how cool that movie is going to be. I'll come." I could stick it to my dad for one night. Tell them that Maria asked me to take her shift tonight. Easy enough.

"Awesome!" I couldn't help but think about the look in his eyes after I flinched at his touch. It was just so natural to be afraid if anyone's touch but my mother's. Her loving hugs and touches were the only good contact I had with people in this world. Even my brother couldn't compare.

I got out of the car and instantly felt eyes on me. Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Hongjoong were all waiting by the doors for him and a couple of others standing next to them as well. They all waved and smiled and walked over to us. They were positively magnetic, wherever they went new eyes followed their movements and in turn they all went to me the new person in the group.

"Hey Pretty Lady!" Wooyoung out his hand up in the air and recoiled a bit before realizing that it was just a high five I pulled it off by doing some weird hand movements to reach his high five. They laughed and whooped causing more attention to shift to us.

"So, Y/N's going to be coming to the movies with us today. Is that cool with everybody?" They all agreed and nodded. I felt accepted already into this large group of jocks and I couldn't help but feel a little powerful.

"Oh, this is Yunho, San, Mingi, and Jongho." Wooyoung pointed at a bunch of different people and I shot a small wave to all of them.

"I'm Y/N nice to meet you." I smiled and laughed as they all shot greetings my way.

"Alright guys let's go." Hongjoong led the way into the doors and I felt Seonghwas arm slip around my shoulders. Honestly I was thankful for his touch, as all the eyes and the whispers began to become too loud to my ears his warm arm was there to pull me back to him. Almost like a gravitational pull.

"I'll see you in US history." He branched off the other way and I was back to being alone. In a sea of monsters who all wanted to stop me and talk but I brushed past until I finally got to my English class where my isolation began all over again. It was really nothing special everything the teacher taught I knew already, I was way ahead in the book we were reading so all there was left to do was stare out the window and hope that the bell would ring soon.

The halls were way more crowded than I remember them being, everyone trying to get to their lockers or whatever class they were going to, lines behind the vending machine and the bathroom doors swinging open and closed. It was all so much and all the eyes staring at me made my skin crawl with unease. Around every corner it was "the girl who is friends with the football team".

"Hey," an arm slipped around my shoulders once more but I knew who it was, "how was your class?" I leaned into his shoulder and sighed.

"It was fine. Really nothing interesting, it's senior English." I chuckled and breathed in his scent. He was wearing a grey turtleneck and black pants, no varsity jacket to be found a plain outfit but it was nice. It smelled warm and calm, and mixed with his natural scent it was practically heaven. Maybe it's weird to like the way he smells but I didn't tell my olfactory senses to hop on it.

"I get that much. I take that third and fourth term. Maybe you can help me, cause you're just too smart." His voice turned to a mocking tone and I chuckled, hitting his stomach lightly.

"I did not say that." I pushed a little closer to him and he stumbled a little but caught his footing before it was an issue.

"Sounded pretty similar if you ask me." I put my head fully on his shoulder and just enjoyed the moment. He was walking me to class with his arm around my shoulders, saying that yes this is my friend. We looked around the class and saw only two available seats next to each other so I sat in front of him and he sat behind me. The bell rang and I got out my stuff and that's when I began to feel his hand in my hair.

At first it was light pressure against my scalp, he was twirling my hair in his fingers I really didn't mind either on of the ways my mom helps he relax after my dad gets angry. He was twirling and braiding the strands of my hair together and then he moved up, his fingers grazing the nape of my neck causing me to flinch a little at the sensitivity there. He rubbed small circles into my skin, telling me that it was okay he want going to hurt me and I relaxed in my seat.

His fingers then went into my scalp and that's when I felt really calm. The teacher was droning on about some president or whatever but my eyelids were dropping and I couldn't care, the way he was rubbing circles into my scalp had my body loose like a goose and that's when my head fell back in his hands and I was out like a light.

"Hey, pretty girl." Someone was shaking my arm and it was then that I remembered where I was. I opened my eyes to see Seonghwa crouching next to my desk, his eyes warm and sweet like always.

"Did I fall asleep?" I yawned and sat up in my desk, multiple places in my back popping.

"Yeah, you really didn't miss much. I can give you the notes." I looked around at the class and the rest of the students were packing up, getting ready to go to lunch.

"Thanks, Seonghwa." I put my books back in my bag and zipped it up before standing up and putting in on my back. I yawned once more and Seonghwa opened his arms. Without a second thought I went into them and put my ear against his chest, hearing his steady heartbeat. He put his arms around me and held my head to his chest, playing with my hair once again.

I can't imagine how we looked right now. Last night I was telling him that he couldn't pick me up or take my home but without the fear of my dad shadow over my my heart was so open to him. It felt like I had known him for years really, the way it was so easy to talk to him and have him hold me like he does was something that I couldn't wrap my head around.

"Let's go to lunch." He pulled away lightly and turned me around, lightly pushing me to walk towards the door.

"Alright alright I'm going." I groaned and walked faster until his hands fell off my shoulders. He walked next to me and grabbed his backpack straps.

"What are you gonna get? He asked while waving to some guys in the hall.

"I've got some stuff in my bag." I shrugged and looked towards the cafeteria doors. Really I was just going to eat the gummy worms that he have me yesterday. I don't have the luxury of packing a lunch, surprise surprise.

"Alright you wait here and I'll find the gang and lead you there." He smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I was actually grateful that he did that for me. One of my biggest anxieties was trying to find somewhere to sit during lunch. It's not like I had friends to find during lunch.

"Hey sweet cakes." I turned around to find a guy standing there. His hair shagged against his forehead and his blues eyes burned into mine. They were close and unforgiving, it made me take a step back.

"Um, hello?" I looked around for someone to save me but the hallway was empty.

"So are you and Seonghwa a thing?" He put his hands in his jean pockets and leaned against the white wall.

"No." Part of my heart desperately wished that I could say yes but I guess it was for the best.

"Oh that's sweet. Wanna go out back and show me a good time?" He licked his dry lips and looked me up and down.

"No thank you." I took another step back but that prompted him to take a step closer.

"Of come on. You need all those men to satisfy you? I can give you what you want more than those jokers can." He moved a step closer and I put my arms up trying to tell him to keep a distance.

"Is there something I can help you with?" Seonghwa rounded the corner and in two strides he was gently pulling me away from this guy.

"Hey Hwa. I was just offering that sweet piece of ass a good time behind the bleachers. Give the old one two football ritual?" The guy laughed and licked his lips again. I watched as Seonghwa pulled the guy by his shirt and whisper something in his ear. The guys face turned from smug to terrified.

"You ever come near her again I'll break your nose." Seonghwa placed his hand on my shoulder and lead me into the cafeteria.

"That guy was a creep." Seonghwa put his arm fully around me and led me through the cafeteria.

"That's Nate for you. He didn't touch you did he?" Seonghwas eyebrows were firmly set in the middle of his forehead and his jaw was clenched.

"No, I think you got there just in time. I mean I told him no but he just kept coming." I looked up at him and saw that was still looking ahead.

"Its okay. He won't come near you again. And you tell me if anyone does that again, okay?" I nodded and he looked back to guide me to a table in the middle. It was chaos, San, Mingi, and Wooyoung were playing swords with their pencils, Yeosang, Jongho, and Yunho were trying to throw food in each others mouths, and Hongjoong was shaking his head as he watched this all fold out.

"Hey Y/N!" Wooyoung waved and in the process got stabbed in the hand by a pencil. Hitting San has he began to celebrate.

"I'm going to find something to eat, I'll be back." Seonghwa rubbed my head before going to join the small lunch line.

"So, you met Hwa at the arcade?" Yunho stopped throwing his food at Yeosang and Jongho choosing to talk to me instead.

"Yeah, I also met Hongjoong, Wooyoung, and Yeosang." The boys began to turn their heads as I said their names.

"Are you sure you guys didn't know each other before?" Yunho stabbed a grape tomato with his fork and brought it to his mouth and popped it in after he was finished talking.

"No, I don't think so. I just feel really comfortable with you guys." I pulled out the gummy worms from my bag and began to slowly eat them. I can't remember the last time I actually had candy.

"Well, you guys seem very close. Like best friends for years close." San joined in in the conversation while chewing on some of Wooyoungs french fries.

"Guys I'm convinced that the lunch lady has a crush on me." We all laughed and talked through lunch Seonghwa looking down at the candy every so often with a smirk on his face.

Without Seonghwa on my side I found how boring my life actually was. I didn't move from class to class and have friends in each one like most people do, different moments of happiness. I moved through the rest of the school day sluggish and bored without Seonghwa I mean, even Hongjoong or Wooyoung would be an improvement from all these girls whispering in each others ears while looking back at me. Acting like I was some sort of endangered animal that they could just gawk at.

The white walls seemed yellow and the bright red lockers looked crummy and gross without the filter of Seonghwas happiness. I guess I was looking too far into this friendship thing I've never really had a friend before. Having plans after school, having people that enjoy my company, it was all very new to me.

"Y/N!" Wooyoung stopped me in the hallway and threw his arm over my shoulders like Seonghwa does. He was wearing red shorts and a black t-shirt, gym clothes.

"What's up Wooyoung?" I followed him down the hall and watched as more people stared. Honestly it was getting old.

"The basketball coach what's a small practice today so Seonghwa was going to come get you but I offered instead. It's not fair that he gets you all the time." Wooyoung put his head on mine and pouted into my hair. It was really nice to hear that he wanted to spend more time with me, and to be honest I liked how they already argued over my attention. It made my heart beat too fast to be normal.

"I'll try and hang with you more." I put my arm around his wrist and pulled him closer. "So, will I just sit and watch this practice?" The gym was within sight and I saw all the boys bouncing basketballs and shooting hoops it immediately made me feel nervous. I have a really bad reputation and basketballs always seem to find my head like a magnet.

"Yeah, we're just gonna run through some drills and see if they work okay for us." We walked through the doors and Seonghwa looked over and waved with a big smile on his face. "Want me to grab a chair for you?" Wooyoung unraveled his arms from mine and pointed to a closet which, I'm guessing held all the chairs.

"No, I'll pop a squat on the floor. Thanks though!" I dropped my bag on the floor and took out a book, something I just grabbed from the library today, it seemed good enough.

"Alright boys! Balls away let's line up." The coach walked out in skin-tight red shorts and a white shirt, neither left any to the imagination. "Hey kid, are you just here to watch?" He walked over to me a crouched to my level.

"Yeah, my ride is practicing." I pointed to Seonghwa in the lineup and the coach smiled.

"He's a good kid. This shouldn't take too long." He stood up and gave instructions to the boys while I started read the first words of my book.

"Alright! Start running!" He blew the whistle and the boys began running around the gym, occasionally pushing each other because that's what boys do. It was cute watching most of them keep up with boys like Seonghwa and Hongjoong, Mingi sticking out in particular. He was sweating buckets and breathing heavily, for being a tall skinny boy he sure didn't have good endurance and I laughed as Wooyoung hooked an arm around his shoulder encouraging him to go faster.

Seonghwa was doing so well and I finally understood why he was such a star athlete. He ran about 5 laps and he wasn't even breaking a sweat yet, his legs moving effortlessly against the gym floor. He talked with Hongjoong about anything and he wasn't huffing and puffing like I would be if I was in that situation.

After a while the boys stopped running and spread around the gym to stretch and things before the coach distributed pinnies. The old material looking and smelling like death in the musty air. I wished that the coach actually took time and washed them for the boys and for the bystanders. Maybe his mustache covered up the funk and he couldn't smell it. That could be it.

Even as he worked out Seonghwa looked great, which was a heard feat for some people the activity being too much often giving them a red face that is less than attractive, like Nate over there. The boy who stopped me in the hall and was being awfully disgusting was over there with his hands on his knees trying to catch is breath. I think he caught me staring because he straightened up and winked. I could’ve thrown up in my mouth right there and then but Seonghwa came over, refreshing me like a cold glass of water. 

“What are you reading?” He tipped the book and looked at the cover, finding the women on the front clearly in distress. 

“Something I just picked off of the shelf.” I closed the book slightly and looked up at him. There was something so sweet and protective in his eyes and it made me feel safe from Nate, from my Dad, from the world. He opened his mouth to say something before the coaches words cut through the thick air. 

“Park let’s get back in the game!” He smiles at me and taps the tip of my nose with his finger. He gets up and takes the ball from the coach before officially starting the game. I turned back to me book and didn’t pay much attention to the boys anymore, finding their game to be very repetitive and a little boring for my taste. 

The book was bringing in so many characters that my head was spinning, the mention of all these characters confusing the mental list in my head. All these people fighting over the main protagonist that really didn't want to have anything to do with these men. She was really ready to just pack up and leave with her younger sister. A princess with a "duty" to her country and her family but she doesn't want to. Just as I was getting into the book I heard someone call my name and I look up to see the ball come soaring towards my face.

"Watch out!" I dropped the book and went to cover my face, ready for the ball to hit me where ever it wanted. There was a loud thud but the pressure wasn't there at all. I slowly opened my eyes and let my hands fall to my lap. Seonghwa was standing in front of me, his back to me while he stared back at the boys.

"Play ball." The coach tried to defuse the situation and held his hands out so Seonghwa could lightly toss the ball to him. He didn't join the game, instead he picked up the book and handed it back to my shaky hands.

"Are you alright?" He crouched down once more to look in my eyes.

"Just a little scared is all." I laughed quietly and just watched as he brought his hand to caress my hair.

"It was Nate, he threw the ball at you." He sighed and just looked into my eyes, trying to gauge my reaction.

"It's okay. Some people are just assholes and that's okay." The words made me think of my father. He was an asshole for no reason and I felt like I was defending him. Every swing he took at my mother and me felt justified by my words.

"But people should pay for their wrong doings." Seonghwa tapped his fingers against my forehead and cheeks causing me to laugh at the ticklish sensation.

"Alright boys, practice is over. Nate stay back with me." The coach blew the whistle and the boys ran away to go change, knocking into each other and slapping backs of heads. Just boy things.

"You can wait outside the bathroom until we're done, okay?" Seonghwa stood up and offered me his hand which I gladly took. He waited while I gathered up all my stuff and I threw my backpack onto my shoulders. He hooked his arm around me like normal and led me to the outside of the changing room.

I held my backpack straps in my hands and took this time to think. I thought about my mom and how much I loved her and I wanted her to have a better life than what she had. It was something that I thought about way too often and when I told my mom that I do think about it she just scoffs and tells me to focus on more important things, like she's not the most important thing in my life.

I thought about Seonghwa and how he made me feel safe and loved and how he is taking care of me even though he doesn't have to. Thinking about how he brought me to this group of people who accepted me even though I'm not rich or not on a sports team. I don't have a Letterman jacket and I don't have fancy clothes and sometimes I wear them two days in a row.

"Hey, are you ready?" His grey turtleneck and black pants were back on and the rest of the boys were filing out of the locker room.

"Yeah." I smiled and followed him to his car. Once we got there he grabbed the bag from my shoulders and threw it in the backseat while I got situated in the front seat.

"So, we've still got a bit of time before the move so we're going to go out to eat." He sat down on the seat and buckled up before starting up the car.

"Seonghwa-"

"Before you say 'I don't have money' I don't care. I'm paying." He pulled out of the school smoothly and started driving.

"You don't have to do that." I gripped my shirt between my fingers and looked out the window, watching all the cars pass by.

"You're stubborn." He chuckled and pulled into a diner it was small and really hidden between the mess of libraries and newspaper outlets. It wasn't that far from school but I don't go out to eat so it wasn't a surprise that I had no idea what the place was.

"The Travelers Diner." I read the sign out loud as we passed by. There was barely any one there so that told me a bit about how popular they were.

"Yeah, Jongho works here on the weekends and let me tell you its super busy. We just missed the dinner rush." Seonghwa pulled into a parking spot and turned off his car, hopping out and running around to my side. He grabbed my hand and helped me out of the car before shutting the door and locking it. My hand was still in his as he led me into the diner and I felt my cheeks and neck heat up at the simple touch.

The patrons were mostly the elderly all of them enjoying an early dinner or a late night cup of coffee. The shop smelt good fresh coffee grounds were being poured into the coffee machine and the grill had sizzling meat on it. The whole atmosphere was warm and cozy, the small chatter between a husband and wife and the old man on the counter lightly humming to the song coming from the boombox behind the counter.

"Seonghwa! Who's it going buddy?" A man with an apron cane from behind the counter and have Seonghwa a deep hug. He was much older then the both of us but he seemed ecstatic to see his friend. He had to be about 40 and he had a bit of a guy but it really suited the vibe of this place.

"I've been amazing how about you, Sergio?" Seonghwa pulled away and joined hands with me once more, not even parted for a minute.

"Business is booming thanks to you. I'm still waiting on that picture." He laughed and grabbed two menus from the counter.

"You don't have to do that. I'm just here to help." Sergio led the way to the tables and Seonghwa pulled me along behind him while I let the situation sink in. I was going out to eat for the first time since I could remember.

"I was going bankrupt and you swooped in and saved the day. I owe my success to you, kid." He set down the menus and smiled at us, before walking back behind the counter and into the kitchen.

"Who's that?" I looked around the table and saw small little designs that made me smile. The table was a bright red and had a small black border along the inside. 'Jake' was messily carved into the middle and in could just imagine the boy taking a knife and marking his territory.

"His names Sergio. Family friend." Seonghwa smiled before bringing the menu up to his face, searching over what they had. I really already knew what I wanted and it was definitely not meatloaf. I

"Hey kids. What can I get you to drink?" A middle-aged woman came over wearing a bright red uniform and a tag that read 'Cindy'. She was smiling and smacking on some bubblegum as she brought out her notepad. 

“I’ll get a Dr. Pepper.” He smiled at Cindy and then turned to me. 

“I’ll get the same with a lemon please.” I remember hearing some kids say that Dr. Pepper was super good with lemon and now would probably be they only time to get to try it so I might as well. 

“Alright and are y’all ready to order?” She looked up form her pad and looked to Seonghwa. 

“I’ll have whatever the chef’s special is today.” He put down the menu and nodded to me.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger with everything on it and the waffle fries with a side of ranch.” I looked to Seonghwa and he smiled back at me, nodding slightly at my choice. 

“Alright kids. It’ll be right out for you.” She took the menus and went behind the counter to put the order in. 

The diner was great. Seonghwa and I talked about anything and everything, the socializing bringing back a side of me that I couldn’t remember existed. I almost made Seonghwa spit soda out of his nose at least six times with all the jokes I was cracking all while actually having my first cheeseburger. We laughed until the sun was setting and we were heading out the door to join the rest at the movies. 

The laughing didn’t stop at the diner and it carried on into the car, him talking about funny stories with his parents and me adding onto that with funny stories at my old school, choosing not to talk about my parents. We pulled into the entryway of the movies and he purchased two tickets for Alien. 

“So is this movie like really scary?” I looked around the parking spots and saw Yeosang and Mingi waving their arms in the air, telling Seonghwa to park there. 

“I’m really not sure. I heard that it’s scary but I didn’t have them go into detail.” He put the car in park and turned the station that the attendant said the movie would be on. 

“What took you guys so long?” Hongjoong rolled down his window and hooked his arm out of it. 

“We went to grab a bite to eat.” Seonghwa had me roll down my window so he could talk with Hongjoong. 

“And you didn’t invite us?” Wooyoungs voice cute through the wind and he went over to my window. 

“Yeah, it was just Y/N and me.” Seonghwa smiled and then rolled down his window, Mingi knocking on it lightly. The boys were so excited, the sun had set and the screen was flickering to life. Seonghwa had us roll up our windows and turned the air conditioning on a low blast. The movie started and I immediately  curled up into the seat, listening the beginnings of the movie. 

I can’t remember how long it’s been but I just remember leaning into Seonghwa more and more, the events of the movie getting scarier and scarier. Baby aliens were popping out of peoples stomachs and I just couldn’t handle it. I jumped and pushed my head into Seonghwas neck, wrapping my arms around his torso. I squeezed my eyes shut and just listened to the sounds of the mans stomach popping open,

“Hey pretty girl it’s okay. It’s just a movie.” His hands came around my shoulders and ran his hand through my hair. He turned down the radio and brought his lips to my hair, running them across the smooth expanse of my head. 

“I know, I know.” I pulled away from his neck looking back at the movie only to turn away again. I laughed against his chest and rolled my eyes, I was being so stupid. It was really just a movie. The sounds of the movie played quietly in the background but I decided to focus on his heartbeat which was faster than normal, probably because he was scared. 

“Hey, Y/N?” Seonghwa was rubbing small circles onto my back and occasionally my arms, traveling around a bit. 

“Yes?” I looked up to him and I found that he was already looking at me. His hand snaked up to my cheek and held the flesh gently in his hand. He was looking at my eyes watching as I flicked them from his eyes, to his nose, and finally to his plump lips. They turned up into a small smirk and my cheeks heated up at the fact that he caught me looking at his lips. Part of me just wanted to lunge forward and connect our lips but I didn’t want to misread the feelings in the air. Maybe he was just laughing at me because I was scared of the dumb movie, or maybe he was laughing at me cause I actually thought he maybe likes me.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as he brought his lips onto mine. The soft flesh melding together as my stomach turned in circles. Butterflies had infected my belly and they had taken flight after being dormant for so long. It was nothing like I had ever felt before, his lips moving lightly against mine virtually showing me what to do and I just kind of went with it. Our mouths were moving together naturally now, messily bumping noses as we turned our heads to follow the other. He pulled away and set his forehead on mine breathing onto my face as he settled down. 

“I’ve wanted to do that ever since I met you.” He chuckled and held my head in his hands.

“Seonghwa, please don’t leave me.” I let my words fly as I let my head fall to his shoulder. 

“I could never.” He held me and turned up the radio, hearing the terrible screams of the people that were dying on the spaceship. 

After the movie we all waved to each other through the windows and one by one we all pulled away when traffic presented the opportunity. Seonghwa could not stop smiling throughout the drive home and I couldn’t help but watch as he gently bobbed his head along the songs to the radio. The silence felt comforting like something big had happened and we both needed a moment to let it settle in. 

“I wanted to thank you for tonight, Seonghwa. I don’t get to do this a lot.” We pulled into my driveway and I instantly felt all the blood drain from my face. My dad was sitting on the porch, a bottle of something hanging from his hand. 

“Y/N,” Seonghwas whole mood instantly changed. His voice got quieter and darker, all while watching my dad on the porch lightly sway back and forth. “Don’t go in.” Seonghwas hands were braced on the steering wheel and he didn’t look at me. I watch the side of his face as his eyebrows scrunching in discomfort. 

“Seonghwa you don’t understand.” I clicked the seat belt and grabbed the door handle to leave but he grabbed my knee. 

“If I let you go in that house right now, are you going to come out?” He finally looked at me and I saw the tears that were threatening to spill from the corner of his eye.

“What are you taking about?” I played dumb. He couldn’t know about my family, nobody knew.

“Y/N, I know what your father does to you and your mother.” He took a breath and squeezed my knee lightly. “My mother told me who you were.” My dad had gotten up from the porch and was waving me inside. 

“I can’t stay here. My mother.” I opened the door and let his hand slip from my knee, even if it was the last time I ever got to touch him I had to take that chance for my mother.  

“Where have you been?” My dad grabbed the back of my arm and drug me inside, the flesh of my arm already beginning to sting.

“Dad you don’t understand.” I gripped his wrist and tried to alleviate the pain that was steadily getting worse.  

“Do you think I’m stupid? I knew that boy dropped you off last night. You didn’t think to tell him to leave you alone? Am I not good enough?” He threw me on the ground and slammed the door. My mom was in the kitchen sobbing over the sink. 

“N-No. I told him no but he came anyways.” I put my hands up as he brought his foot down against my side. 

“Anything to get away from dear old dad.” He smashed the bottle on the ground and used both of his hands to land punches to my head.

“Derek stop!” My mother ran over and pushed my father onto the ground, part of his leg landing on the broken glass. My mom pulled me away and caressed my face shushing me into a calm state, the tears still running down my face. My dad got up and spit onto the floor. 

“You bitch!” He went to charge at me and my mother but the door swung open causing him to stop and look. 

“No!” Seonghwa threw his hands around my dads waist, tackling him to the floor. I saw the tussle of bodies and I couldn’t see what was happening beyond the flood of tears. I turned my head into my mothers neck and sobbed as I heard the sound of bones cracking and the sound of flesh against flesh. 

“Derek?” My mother called for him and let go of me. I opened my eyes as Seonghwa was sitting on the ground his knuckles bloody and his nose was dripping blood down into his open mouth. 

“Seonghwa!” I crawled over to him and held his face in my hands. He was still occupied with my father like he was waiting to see if he would get up and begin the fight again. He was holding his right wrist in his hand flexing it back and forth to see if any damage had been severely done.

“Are you okay?” He stopped looking at my father and turned to me, his expression solemn. It was his turn to hold me head in his hands as he looked at the damage that had been done to my face. It wasn’t much just some minor bruising here and there but it really hurt like a bitch. 

“I’m fine,” I took a breath and closed my eyes trying to calm my heart down. “Why did you do that?” I sat back on my heels and let him look at me, his eyes softening and filling with tears. 

“I don’t want you here anymore. The police are on their way and they’ll be taking him into custody. I want you and your mom to stay with me for a while. Just until he is put in jail for good.” The words were coming out of his mouth and zooming right over my head. He wanted me to come with with him? The police were on their way? So many things were happening at once so I just nodded. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N, can you go pack your stuff please, we’ll be leaving. The police are going to talk to you at my house.” He stood up and took me hand, helping me off the ground with ease. my stomach clenched and I cradled my bruising ribs. 

“Okay.” She shakily got up and slowly walked up the stairs, her hands shaking by her sides. 

“Why did you do that?” I turned to him as he watched my dad. He looked back, his nose was going off to the right a little and his eyes was beginning to swell shut. The blood was running down his face and accumulating into the alcohol and glass mixture on the ground. His pant legs was torn and he had a big gash on the side of this leg, the glass sticking out in parts. he really wasn’t getting up even if he wanted to. 

“Y/N, I thought he was going to kill you.” He didn’t look in my eye, a thing that he did when the situation was serious. 

“Seonghwa we would have been fine.” I felt tears prick my eyes again, the trail on my cheek becoming warm again. “You don’t understand what you’ve done. My dad is very powerful and he knows people you can’t even dream of.” My voice got louder and louder the fear in it increasing every second. 

“Y/N.” His voice brought a light warning . 

“You don’t understand what you’ve done. He’s going to kill you!” I pushed him and beat my fist onto his chest until he caught them in his hands and pulled me close. His hand flew to my hair and gently rubbed soothing circles. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid, he’s not going to hurt you anymore.” He let me cry into his shoulder and to be honest I really didn’t want to do anything else. I was able to cry and finally be comforted in the night without being told to be quiet or my father might hear. 

“He hurt you.” I looked up at his face and grabbed his cheek for comfort. His nose had stopped bleeding and the dried just stuck to his face like a tattoo. 

“Listen to me, I don’t care who hurts me or beats me up. He could’ve broken my arm and I would still fight for you.” He pulled away and held my shoulders. “I will protect you.” He pulled me back in and held me once more. Sirens in the background telling everyone that something went down. 

“Police!” A man in a dark uniform came in with a pistol, “Search the house!” I let Seonghwa hold me in his arms as they passed around us, going through the house, trying to find anything else to put my dad away. My mother came down the stairs with two bags on her shoulders. 

“Can you all please step outside. We’re going to have to do some thorough searches in those bag in case he decided to hide anything in them.” Another police officer came through the door and held out his hand. My mother nodded and handed over the bags without a fuss. Police after police showed up at my door and began searching the house. 

“You know their going to bring you to the hospital, right?” Seonghwa put his hand around my shoulder and rubbed my arms.  

“We can’t pay for that.” I put my head on his shoulder and shook my head. As if on cue an ambulance pulled up into the driveway, next to all the police cars and pulled out a gurney. 

“Don’t fight them please. I don’t wanna have to hold you back.” He laughed and started leading me over the ambulances. Another ambulance pulled up and one of the police officers lead my mother to it, she was limping clinging to the officer. 

“You’re Y/N Y/L/N?” They pulled me away from Seonghwa and put me on the gurney, more tears rolling down my cheeks. 

According to doctors I’ve made some miraculous recoveries, my body healing my fabulously. I guess this time they could help me. Seonghwas injuries weren’t as severe as mine so they just wiped off his nose and gave him some ibuprofen, telling him to use his right arm as little as possible. His mom was on his way and they were going to take me and my mother home with them. A police officer came in and told me that my father was officially behind bars. He had a broken nose, a broken arm, and a couple of bruised ribs from when Seonghwa tackled him. 

“What did the officer say?” I was laying on a crisp white hospital bed, my light blue gown covering everything nicely. 

“He told me that I had a nice right hook.” Seonghwa chuckled and pulled the boring brown chair over to the edge of my bed. 

“You aren’t getting charged with anything?” I put my hand out and he took it gingerly. 

“No. The only one getting charged is your father and I’m making sure he gets put away.” Seonghwa pulled my hand to his mouth kissing each finger before intertwining our hands together. 

“And my mother?” I closed my eyes and let the tears well in my eyes. I’ve cried way too much today, over Seonghwa, over my father, and multiple things hitting me at the same time. Today was the day that I let myself feel everything, all the hurt and heartache that me and my mother had to go through. 

“She’ll be okay. She still has wounds that need to heal so she’ll be here but you’re coming home with me.” I could hear the smile in his voice and I let the tears fall. 

“I love you.” I squeeze his hand and hope that I didn’t scare him off. I couldn’t deal with anything if he left me here. I wasn’t scared of commitment but he may be, most boys were at this age. 

“I love you too. And I’ll be here to make sure nothing ever hurts you again.” We sat in the hospital room holding each other until the sun came up and we headed home. 

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week - 20

The Unexpected Find of the Week: First King (Il primo re).

A uniquely brutal, “authentic” retelling of twin brothers Romulus & Remus myth, shot with minimal dialogue in paleo Latin, as it was spoken in 753 BC. How the mythical power of fear in primitive cultures shaped who we are today.

(Recommended by AlonzoMosleyFBI)

✴️                 

Why were you so unpopular with the Chicago police department?

Because Charles Grodin died (Hard to imagine that he was 86!), I tried to watch his old ‘Seems Like Old Times’, but had to stop after 10 long, cringey minutes. Instead, I just went back to my all-time favorite his and De Nero flick, Midnight Run. Every time I remember any of the many quotable situations from this funny, delightful film, I have to go and watch it again: It’s literally a perfect movie for me. (As I wrote about it here).

✴️                         

The emotionally powerful Coco, which Adora and I watched many times together, still one of my favorite Pixar’s about family and memories. The widescreen compositions are exceptionally radiant & colorful.

(Photo above).

✴️                     

4 more by Anders Thomas Jensen, whose range of story-telling skills keeps astonishing me:

✳️✳️✳️ After the Wedding (2006) - Another tortured-looking Mads Mikkelsen, this time as an ex-patriot manager of a small Indian orphanage. Here he re-visits Denmark to secure a large donation promised by a rich benefactor, and things do not end up as they start.

Intense and sensitive, with many quiet close-ups, mostly on everybody’s eyes.

Best film of the week!

(Like many other great Danish movies, this was re-made in ‘American’ in 2019 with Julianne Moore - “because it’s too difficult for Americans to read subtitles” (?) - and I tried to watch it too, but I had to turn it off after less than 10 minutes: it was just a jarring, fake copy.)

✳️✳️✳️ "The Revenge" (Hævnen) another drama written by Anders Thomas Jensen and directed by Susanne Bier. 2011 Oscar winner, about violence, retribution and ange. A story of a 12 year old boy who is bullied in school and meet another boy with a chip on his shoulder. 7/10.

✳️✳️✳️ Fear me not, with a manuscript by ATJ, was the least accomplished of all the films of his that I saw. It’s about the growing psychosis of a depressed man who, as part of a clinical test, takes experimental pills with unfortunate side effects. What was missing is ATJ’s usual humanity shining through from the characters.

✳️✳️✳️ On the other hand, I don’t know why I am so drawn to keep watching his layered Riders of Justice (for the 4th time this month!), but the detailed style of the story is so compelling, so sweetly funny and moving, that even the over-the-top violence is completely acceptable.

✴️               

Yesterday I took 15 kilometer bike ride around the island of Amager. Later in the evening I watched 5 hours of the Danish police procedural series “The Investigation“. I was delighted to see that many of the exteriors were shot exactly on the Svenskeholm coast where I just biked!

It’s a VERY slow burn, understated and moody Scandi-noir, with constant and quiet cello background. Didn’t realize it was based on real events. So un-American, without any glitz or melodrama. Second film with Rolf Lassgård in the same week.

✴️                     

I enjoy watching big Danish actor Nicolas Bro very much, but Small Killers from Nibe is a terrible black-comedy, a copy of ATJ’s style but without his charm and humanistic depth. 2/10

✴️                    

First watch: I actually never saw Leni Riefenstahl’s complete Triumph of the Will before! What a masterful propaganda film! Wach Auf!

Trump - and the Nazis of Charlottesville - must have watched this one many times.

This was prompt by travel-guru Rick Steves’ short Germany’s Fascist Story. It’s interesting how he’s been turning recently from geography to history.

✴️                         

Jimmy Carter: Rock & Roll President, the only ‘decent’ American president before Obama, and his friendship with like-minded musicians, Willie Nelson, the Allman Brothers, Bob Dylan, etc. Lovely!

✴️                         

The Human Voice - A Pedro Almodóvar Jean Cocteau-inspired short: Tilda Swinton alone in a gilded apartment saying goodbye on the phone to her lover, who is about to marry someone else. Theatrical, cerebral, affected.

✴️                    

2 by British director Mike Hodges:

✳️✳️✳️ Get Carter - Young Michael Caine, suave, cool as a cucumber, is a gangster returning to Newcastle to attend the funeral of his brother there.

✳️✳️✳️ Clive Owens breakthrough role, Croupier. A struggling writer takes a job in a seedy casino. The 3rd-person interior monologues didn’t work for me

A wave of elation came over him; he was hooked again... watching people lose.

✴️                     

I disliked The Lobster, an artsy, absurdist dystopian fable with a convoluted premise of forced couplehood. Single people are rounded up at a hotel resort and are given 45 days to find romantic partners or otherwise be turned into animals.

The very first scene told me everything I needed to know about what followed:  The camera focuses on a profile of a woman, driving for a while in the rain, then she stops by a field, gets out of the car, and shoots a donkey. 3/10

✴️                    

Unstoppable, another “Runaway Train” themed movie, with Denzel Washington: Tony Scott’s last film before he jumped off the San Pedro bridge in 2012.

Action, Action, Action and large, heavy and noisy machinery.

✴️                       

The One I love, Elisabeth Moss and her husband are visiting a romantic resort in order to save their troubled marriage, where they discover two doppelgängers of themselves: A muddled up & confused story that makes no sense or evoke much empathy.

- - - - -

Throw-back to the  art project:

Adora with Mama Coco.

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

[piermanwalter]

Thief’s Apprentice: Civil Servant Triumvirate

What does it take to keep a city of immortal skeleton wizards functioning? These revenants are the antithesis of the bros: a semi-legitimate politician who won’t fall for petty scams, another large sealed container, and a guy who breaks into houses and attacks people but legally.

The Mayor of Veilheim

Although elected by the literate class as The Mayor, The Mayor isn’t a Veilheimer or even from Surenia. His outsider status is celebrated as bringing an end to cultural and political stagnation, but has caused some problems. Counter to Veilheim customs, he still treats his children and grandchildren as family even though he died decades before. The Mayor’s continued contact with them is seen as unnecessary interference with the affairs of the living. Integration between living and dead society has swung back and forth throughout history, although recently the living in Veilheim have gone from viewing the world outside the living district as another plane of existence to coming and going as they please (only if they are plaguebearers) within a few generations, as orchestrated by The Mayor. 

The Mayor’s political platform is normalising death so the living die happier and produce less madmen. Under his rule, living apprenticeship under dead Masters has increased, a few living businesses such as perfumers and the Rambush family distillery now serve the dead, and skeleton prostitution is decriminalised (for health and safety reasons it’s still illegal for anyone who’s not a skeleton to be a prostitute). The Mayor also implemented the infamous and controversial Destitution Inducing Tax Law, which reduced 1000 of the richest Veilheimers being taxed 0.1% of city budget per year to 100 of the richest Veilheimers being taxed 1% of the city budget per year. The repercussions of this law will be discussed later. With increased working population and ending a few monopolies, Veilheim’s self-sufficiency caused some diplomatic issues with other cities, such as Villa Princeps and Alhambra, which used to count on Veilheim for trade. The Mayor dealt with this by decreasing staple food and fabric imports, but increasing imports of luxury items from outside.

As well as being a functional statesman, The Mayor is also a great wizard. As covered before, magic is the energy derived from souls dying outside the body. Wizards can’t perform magic on their own, but can effectively use magic items, objects with pieces of mage souls in them. To use a magic item, a wizard needs to convince the soul piece inside to die for their sake. Thus wizards are all monstrously manipulative. The Mayor keeps a stash of magic items from his home country that nobody else can use because the souls inside all speak a different language. 

During the uncertain early years of his reign, The Mayor resorted to a lot of secret crimes to stay in wealth and power. After things stabilised, The Mayor has been able to stay in power via legitimate means for a long time and has worked to erase his history, but some elements of his criminal past come back to haunt him, including you. Some of his deals have gone on for so long with people so dangerous he hasn’t figured out how to end them yet. 

Noble Porter

About 10 years ago, a pirate crew attacked the city and were all arrested. While awaiting trial, some pirates died in the cell and went mad, killing and eating the rest, forming into one single creature composed of at least 8 pirates. Temperament stabilised by being made of so many people, the resulting being’s imposing size and treasure-protecting pirate instincts led to new employment. Noble Porter, most noble of porters, delivers state documents within Veilheim and also to other cities by putting them in the big cabinet. The key is delivered separately a few days earlier to the document’s recipient. Then Noble Porter finds you and kneels so you can reach the cabinet and unlock it. Noble Porter’s head is literally and metaphorically filled with state secrets. Noble Porter is constantly surrounded by guards and seems physically incapable. Despite Noble Porter’s helpless appearance, don’t forget the composition of at least 8 pirates who spent their lives killing and looting and died cannibalising each other.

Noble Porter has a very nondescript personality, can’t speak, and takes a very long time to make decisions. Noble Porter must always be referred to without pronouns, since Noble Porter lacks the mental faculty to comprehend anything other than the proper title. It’s easy to infer complete stupidity from this, but Noble Porter has a surprisingly good idea of the general vibe and often bails out of suspicious situations before they begin. How much Noble Porter likes you is determined by how long it takes you to unlock the cabinet. If you use the wrong keys too much or unlock the wrong drawer first, Noble Porter won’t like you. Noble Porter may also relock locks, change pin combinations, and shuffle documents into other drawers. It usually takes a few minutes to get the cabinet open, but you can use this to your advantage by robbing people while they are distracted. This has inevitably led to Noble Porter liking several specific nobles because they get delivered important documents a lot. This is about as fair and efficient as the standard workplace email. How has Noble Porter managed to accumulate the wealth and prestige prerequisite to being a noble without any language skills? Pirate hoarding instincts.

If Noble Porter doesn’t like you, documents will take much longer to be delivered. If Noble Porter likes you, documents will be delivered quickly and sometimes Noble Porter will deliver extra handwritten nonsense letters and random objects. These nonsense letters are starting to become a currency in high society. Noble Porter is also married to Cylinder Locksmith, who has an unfair advantage because she installs the locks into the cabinet. Is she purposefully being exploitative? It’s hard to tell.

Tax Collector

Despite being rich and influential, Tax Collector is seen as being on the same level as other Collectors, such as Rag Collectors, Dung Collectors, Ash Collectors, etc. Tax Collector has been around for at least 500 years and thus has cultivated an extensive legacy of terror. As per Veilheim’s traditional tax policy, if someone can’t or won’t pay taxes, their share will be paid by increasing taxes for other taxpayers and also Tax Collector will drag them out into the street and stab them, after which they are ridiculed by the general public and reviled by other taxpayers who had to pick up their slack. It’s possible to regain some clout by stabbing Tax Collector back. This happens often enough that it’s legal to stab him as he’s stabbing you (it’s still illegal to stab him at any other time). If you are a chronic tax evader, instead of stabbing you in front of your house, Tax Collector will drag you into the judicial district and stab you in the main square. It’s considered a great honor if Tax Collector stabs someone with the same thing you stabbed him with. Sometimes there are multiple rounds of tax collecting, where Tax Collector collects taxes from those who can pay, stabs those who can’t, then calculates how much extra needs to be paid, collects that from those who can pay, stabs those who can’t, and so on until he reaches a monolith of riches who pays for like 18% of the city budget.

Aside from tax collecting, Tax Collector is also involved with antiforgery, crime scene investigation, and tracing the origin of stolen goods. His giant soul from old age and also work experience makes him an excellent alchemist. Alchemy is the study of how souls affect chemistry. For example, if a chunk of limestone is mined by someone and put on the back of a donkey and unloaded by someone else, then burned into quicklime by a different person, the resulting calcium oxide still carries tiny fragments of the souls of three people and one donkey. Not nearly enough to be a magic item or affect its physical behavior, but still enough to be detected by an alchemist. If you touched something, Tax Collector knows. 

After his workload of 1000 people a year was reduced to 100 people a year by the Destitution Inducing Tax Law, Tax Collector is much more involved in normal law enforcement, turning him from an annoying figure among high society to widely reviled by all. As intended by the law, 1% of Veilheim’s yearly budget is enough to drive someone to destitution. Because productive property (things like food, tools, buildings of labor, working animals, and industrial materials) are counted for tax purposes as much less than other things like leisure buildings, precious metals, and jewels, people on the verge of being in to top 100 rush to convert their riches into raw flax, iron bars, and live sheep. Those unfortunate(?) enough to still be considered rich after this often have their life’s work erased. If revenants don’t die, to maintain a functioning economy they must be killed financially. The young by comparison are still afraid of this, but old revenants driven by greed to accumulate as much as they can often lose the will to live after they can no longer grow their wealth as fast as they used to and even the biggest diamonds makes them feel nothing.

Tax Collector! Render me destitute and give my life meaning again!

Then there are people like Noble Engineer and Sporadic Miner who are so absurdly rich that paying 1% of the city’s yearly budget doesn’t significantly affect them.

[curiosity-killed]

a bow for the bad decisions: chapter 18

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(on ao3)

With my blood—                              —my soul as compensation,                                 Kill them all for me. Kill them all! Wei Wuxian, take revenge for me. Blood fills his nose, that familiar perfume. Cold presses into the edges of his bones, stone grating against his elbows and skull. Dragging his eyes open, he gets a hazy glimpse of a dirty floor and scorched blood. Oh, he thinks muzzily, so it worked. Only — destroying the Seal was supposed to kill him. He’d known that from the start, from the very moment he handed over a fistful of his own soul to bring it to life. If he’s alive, then— “Stop playing dead!” 

A heavy foot slams into his chest, rolling him hard onto his back. He scrunches his eyes at the nausea that swells up in his throat as that grating, shrieking voice continues on. What a lot of courage, he thinks, kicking the Yiling laozu. Getting a hand underneath him, he pushes himself up to his knees before a hand is in his collar, yanking him up. The kid has to be in his late teens, though his juvenile sneer suggests someone younger.

“Whose land do you think you’re living on? Whose rice are you eating?” the kid spits. “Everything you own should be mine anyway!” Leaning as far back as he can manage, Wei Wuxian tries not to grimace at the spittle hitting his face. Given how utterly exhausted this body is, it’s not difficult to simply go slack. His head’s still spinning, cottony pressure throbbing at the backs of his eyes. “How dare you tell Father and Mother? Did you really think anybody would listen to a lunatic like you?” What the hell, Mo Xuanyu? Wei Wuxian thinks as the rest of the meager possessions in the shed are trashed and he’s thrown back to the ground. The brat and his minions storm out of the shed and leave him alone in a circle of dried blood. Scowling at the closed door a moment longer, he exhales in a rush and rubs at the ridge of his brow with the heel of his palm. He pushes the hair back out of his face and eyes the array painted on the floor. It’s with a sinking feeling that he recognizes the pattern. He remembers this, in the way he remembers anything from that year when he tries to focus on it — hazy, half-there, a muddle of ideas with great black blanks in between. Picking up a tattered pile of papers, he winces at the too-familiar scrawl and groans. “Since when am I a ‘sinister ghost,’” he complains to the empty shed. “I just have a bad reputation.” A jolt of pain cuts through his arm and he flinches before reaching over to pull back his sleeve. Four ragged cuts bleed sluggishly, deeper than a physical wound. He scowls down at them, before groaning and flopping onto his back on the floor. “Mo Xuanyu, you brat,” he says into the dusty quiet, “you got the wrong person.” He’s not a vengeful spirit. He’s not even sure how much of a spirit he is — he remembers resentment, remembers the Seal burning through his chest, clawed hands ripping through his chest. Sitting up, he shuts down that line of thought. So he probably did die, after all. That’s. Well. He gets up to find water and something to hold back his hair. If he remembers right, the xianshe should have summoned him into Mo Xuanyu’s own body, but it’s his hands that reach for the bucket he finds in one corner alongside a workbench that makes his Demon Subdue Cave look as orderly as the Gusu Lan library. It’s his face that looks back, gaunt and pale as a ghost. Grimacing, he plunges his hands in and breaks up the reflection. He finds a set of dark robes, shorter than he’s used to wearing but not coated in old blood and dirt at least. Stripping down briskly, he pauses to eye the ruin of his chest and stomach in mild dismay. Deep lacerations cross back and forth over his skin, blood smeared across their edges both from being used as the ink pot for the array and from the rub of the robes against them. His old scars are there, under the blood. He’s not sure if he’s relieved or not to see the marks of his history peeking pink beneath all that red. His hand falls to touch a thin white line low on his belly, and he frowns at it as he pokes at his memory. He doesn’t remember this one. When he’s dressed and his hair tugged back in a high tail, he turns to examine the room he’s in. Even ignoring the cursed array in the center of the floor, it’s not exactly impressive. Filth has accumulated in all the corners, and the shabby bed he finds more closely resembles a rat’s nest. His day doesn’t exactly improve after that. It’s one thing to get dragged back to life, he thinks, and it’s another thing to get dragged back to life and then immediately blamed for murder. Again. He scrambles back from Madam Mo’s outstretched hand and swears at Mo Xuanyu for pulling him into this. The little Lans are competent, at least, and aside from the one threatening to punch him when he snagged a lure flag, they’re better company than the Mo family. He doesn’t really want them to get murdered by the cursed arm lunging for their necks. With a glance to check that everyone’s attention is on the sword formation the juniors are using to try to keep the arm at bay, he steps up next to Tong and Old Man Mo. “Still sleeping?” he murmurs into their ears before clicking his fingers, drawing up a burst of resentment. “Time to work.” Well, he thinks as he watches them go tearing after Madam Mo, at least I’m still good at this. He’d wondered, briefly. Resentment has been a steady pillar of his body for so long now, he doesn’t remember what it’s like to not be pieced together with it. Waking to find that his body hummed with quiet spiritual energy and only traces of that seething black had been nearly as disorienting as waking in a circle drawn in blood. After that, he’s too focused on the fight to pay much attention to anything else. Fresh as they are and angry as they are, the Mo family makes for strong fierce corpses — and they’re still torn and shredded by this arm. Even the Lans’ warded robes only temporarily hold it back. He’s reaching for the resentment around them, trying to coax something out of the shadows and the earth, when a familiar chord cuts through the night air. Even exhausted, the Lan juniors cheer. “Hanguang-jun! Hanguang-jun!” Wei Wuxian brightens, turning instinctively toward the sound of the guqin. Sure enough, Lan Zhan alights on the roof across the courtyard with his guqin out before him. Another chord rings out across the manor, flattening the fierce corpses and leaving the cursed arm groping across the dirt as if it can’t quite get purchase. Tucked against a pillar, he watches as Lan Zhan suppresses every tendril of resentment in the courtyard. He still looks just the way Wei Wuxian remembers him, though maybe a little older, a little sterner. “Still wearing mourning clothes,” he laughs to himself. Something eases in his chest at the sight of him, as if at least one plank of this unsteady world is solid beneath his feet. Lan Zhan’s alive and whole. As much as it hurt in the moment, at least that means his plans worked here. He slips away into the night and doesn’t let himself look back. He makes it to the feet of Dafan Mountain without any more reunions with his past and with some level of success in not thinking at all about his first life. He doesn’t really sleep during the few days, partially out of an irrational conviction that he’ll close his eyes and not open them again and partially out of a slightly more rational dread of his own nightmares. As much as he’s been avoiding trying to think about his last memories before he woke up in that shed, he’s not an idiot. The Seal was never going to let him go gently. Still, he’s relatively pleased with himself as he crosses the mountain, and he makes the mistake of thinking that this is easier than he’d expected. Of course, it’s at that moment that he stumbles across a gaggle of cultivators caught up in a spirit net. “Help! Help— oh. It’s you.” The dismay’s a little unwarranted, he thinks as he sets his hands on his hips and leans back to eye the nets. He doesn’t have any way of helping them down, but that doesn’t mean they have to look so disappointed before he’s even admitted as much. Before he can say anything, there’s the sound of running steps and he yanks Lil Apple’s reins till they’re tucked back in some bushes out of sight. Even with Mo Xuanyu’s hideous mask covering his face, he doesn’t want to risk being identified. The cultivators in the nets groan; one woman tilts her head back as if to beseech the heavens. “Rude,” Wei Wuxian murmurs to Lil Apple. The donkey, as usual, shows no sympathy. “You!” Peering through the leaves, Wei Wuxian spots two teens in cream and gold. The taller one reaches up to jab at the captured cultivators with his bow while the girl scowls at the whole scene. “Why is it always you idiots!” she yells. “You’ve broken ten of our spirit nets. Don’t you have any shame?” Ten? Wei Wuxian grimaces reflexively. The Jin really don’t ever change. “Young master, please let us down,” the cultivators chorus. The boy scoffs, bringing his bow down to cross his arms. There’s something familiar about him, though Wei Wuxian can’t quite place it. The girl shares features with him, similar enough to be a sister or at least a close cousin. His nose wrinkles at the thought of little Jin cousins terrorizing the countryside. “You can stay up there till we find the spirit-eating monster!” the girl huffs. “That way you won’t be in our way anymore.” Her brother flicks his ponytail over his shoulder and sets off away from them. “We’ll let you down once we catch it,” he says. “If we still remember.” What a brat. Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows raise a little, but he has no chance to think further before Lil Apple, that shrieking traitor, brays and tears off directly at the Jin cousins. “Ahh stop! Stop it, come back!” Wei Wuxian wails, to absolutely no avail. The two Jins have stopped short, twisting back to stare at him. He stumbles to a halt as Lil Apple finally jerks free of his hands and gallops into the woods. He’s going to kill that donkey. He doesn’t know how donkey tastes, but he’s eaten worse. “Oh, it’s you,” the boy says, crossing his arms over his chest. “What are you doing here?” He’s slung his bow over his back and eyes Wei Wuxian with disdain, but beside him, the girl has bristled like a cat thrown in water, her hand going white-knuckled around her own bow. “Eh?” Wei Wuxian manages. “What, did you lose all your memories after you were kicked out? And what’s with that mask?” the boy scoffs. “Huh, so you did lose your mind after all.” Well that’s an interesting detail Wei Wuxian wasn’t expecting to find out. He eyes his robes curiously, probing at the thought. Jin Guangshan must have led the siege at the Burial Mounds, and if his bastard son brought Wei Wuxian back, well. He stifles a laugh. “What are you laughing at? Show some respect!” the girl snaps. “Disgusting lunatic.” “Hey,” he calls, “I’m your senior! Where are your manners? Who raised you?” The girl takes a step forward, lips pulled back in a snarl, but her companion pulls her back with a hand on her shoulder. Wei Wuxian has about one breath to feel accomplished with his scolding before there’s a gleaming sword pointed at him. Oh no, he thinks a little tiredly. Not again. “You!” the boy yells. “How dare you speak to my sister like that!” The boy’s quick, he’ll grant. He lunges, swinging out with a slash that would cut Wei Wuxian’s throat if he didn’t sway to the side. He lets him have his fun for a few moments, dodging and slipping out of the boy’s increasingly irritated reach. It’s a good lesson. The kid clearly could use a reminder not to draw his sword on strangers. “Not bad!” he chirps, bending back to dodge the blade and plucking a leaf as he goes. He could keep this going for a while, but he doesn’t actually want to stay here all night and he’s not sure how long it’ll be till the sister jumps in as well. With a little spark of resentment, the leaf splits into a paperman, and he tacks it to the boy’s back with a quick call for a nearby ghost. In seconds, the boy is facedown in the dirt and groaning beneath the invisible weight of gluttony. Humming, Wei Wuxian steps neatly back to him and leans down to pluck up the discarded sword. He weighs it in his hand a moment, trying to figure out why the gilt and jade look so familiar. “Don’t touch that!” the boy yells, a frantic note entering his voice. “Mo Xuanyu, how dare you! Let me up!” The girl races over, tugging on her brother’s shoulder as if that will do any good. She glares up at him, all venom. “What did you do? Undo your curse! Let him go!” she demands. Rolling his eyes, Wei Wuxian adjusts his grip and flings the sword out to cut through the spirit nets. It’s not as neat an arc as Bichen, he notes with mild dissatisfaction, but then it’s been years since he wielded a sword. “Mo Xuanyu! Just wait till my uncle hears about this!” the boy yells. Wei Wuxian snorts, turning back to them with his hands on his hips. “Your uncle? Why your uncle and not your dad?” he asks. “Who’s this uncle?” “I am.” Oh. His feet are rooted to the forest floor, lips parted in soft shock. Anger rolls off Jiang Cheng, a violet stormcloud with Zidian already sparking on his wrist. Wei Wuxian can’t help but stare. If this is Jiang Cheng’s nephew and niece, then — then— shijie. He takes half a step forward before freezing. Fuck you, Wei Wuxian! Go to hell! He takes a step back, crooking his finger behind his back to peel off the paperman. It’s nearly to the safety of his hand when it’s tugged away by spiritual energy and crumpled in Jiang Cheng’s hand. His sneer’s the same, which is less comforting when it’s directed at Wei Wuxian. “I’m going to break your legs!” the kid — shijie’s son — Jin Rulan — yells as he scrambles to his feet. “Break his legs?” Jiang Cheng asks, shooting Jin Rulan a scathing look. “Is that what I’ve taught you all these years?” Of course, it makes sense Jiang Cheng would help raise their nephew after Jin Zixuan died. It explains why the swords looks familiar, too. Wei Wuxian never got too close to Suihua, but he saw it often enough during the war. Gnawing guilt chews at the base of his stomach. “You should’ve brought Fairy, Jin Ling,” the girl — his niece? — says now. “She could bite him and drag him back to Jinlintai for xiao-shushu.” That’s incentive enough for Wei Wuxian to turn tail and bolt from this unexpected reunion. It’s one thing if Jiang Cheng hates him, but he’s not sticking around to find out if the dog does, too. “Stop! You can’t run!” He most definitely can and is going to. His body doesn’t feel quite right even after a few days, like it’s just a little off from what he remembers. He’s more than willing to blame that when Jin Ling lunges for him and he trips, wobbling for a split second as the blue glare off a blade flashes just over his face. He falls hard, twisting almost enough to catch himself on his hands and exactly enough to crack his chin into the ground. Wincing, he lifts his head enough to find white boots directly before him and the edge of familiar white robes. Fuck. He lays his head back down. “Lan-er-gongzi,” Jiang Cheng greets, voice all cold venom, “you truly live up to your reputation of appearing amidst chaos. You had time to come to such a remote mountain today?” Having given himself two breaths to press his forehead into the dirt and wish Mo Xuanyu had never thought to summon him, Wei Wuxian pushes himself up on his hands and knees and scoots backward in as ungainly and hasty a retreat as he can manage. Jiang Cheng doesn’t spare him a glance as he stalks up to Lan Zhan, stepping too close for propriety or Lan Zhan’s comfort. Wei Wuxian frowns but barely manages to keep from protesting. It’s not like Lan Zhan needs him to protect him after all. “Are you here to steal all the credit from us or to look for someone?” Jiang Cheng asks, strangely snide. “You’ve been all over the place these thirteen years. Aren’t you done yet?” “Jiang-zongzhu, what do you mean by that?” one of the little Lans from Mo Manor — Lan Jingyi, Wei Wuxian thinks — calls out. The kid earns a small mark in his favor in Wei Wuxian’s estimation, more than making up for almost decking him over the lure flag the other day. He can’t think of a single Lan disciple who would have spoken out of turn like that before. Good for him. “What do I mean?” Jiang Cheng scoffs. “Hanguang-jun, you know what I mean.” If Lan Zhan does, he doesn’t show any sign of it. He isn’t really showing any sign of hearing Jiang Cheng at all; from where he’s still stuck on the ground, Wei Wuxian can’t catch any emotion on Lan Zhan’s face. “Young Master Jin,” the nice Lan — Sizhui — says, “the night hunt is supposed to be a fair competition between cultivators. However, you have set up so many nets that others can hardly proceed for fear of being trapped. Doesn’t this violate the rules of the hunt?” “They got caught because of their own stupidity. It’s not my fault,” Jin Ling retorts. “Anyway, why bother talking about it? We can talk after I catch the—mmph!” The slant of Lan Zhan’s gaze and the sudden, distressed muteness are familiar enough Wei Wuxian isn’t sure whether to laugh or wince in sympathy. He’s a little surprised, now that he thinks about it, that Lan Zhan never tried using the silencing spell to stop Wei Wuxian from playing Chenqing. It would have made it easier to tote him off to Gusu, for sure. The thought makes his stomach sink, and he regrets it even as a Jiang disciple comes racing up to them. She’s a gangly young woman and sketches a haphazard bow in her haste. “Zongzhu, a blue sword just destroyed all the spirit nets Jin-gongzi set up!” she reports. “Lan Wangji!” Jiang Cheng snaps, teeth bared. Lan Zhan doesn’t bother meeting Jiang Cheng’s gaze, holding himself as still and implacable as marble. Wei Wuxian bites his lips to hold in his laughter. It’s not really funny to see them fighting, but — well, he’s dealt with Jiang Cheng’s temper for nearly twelve years. There’s nothing that gets under his skin faster than refusing to react. It’s easier to think about that than to think about what Jiang Cheng said, about thirteen years. He focuses on the familiar irritation that flashes over Jiang Cheng’s face as he gestures for the two kids and the Jiang disciple to go before him, leaving Wei Wuxian alone with Lan Zhan and his little juniors. “That Jiang-zongzhu!” Lan Jingyi bursts out. “Who does he think he is?” Lan Zhan glances at him, disapproving, and the kid recoils with a look of mortification. Right, what was that? Rule two-hundred-thirty-something: one must not talk behind others’ backs. “Young Master Mo, we meet again,” Lan Sizhui says, leaning down to offer his hand. “Are you alright?” “Ah yes, still here thanks to you it seems,” he jabbers, his voice rising in something he refuses to call panic. He was trying to get away from any reunions, not fall face first into them. Lan Zhan looks at him for a long moment but makes no move to step closer. He turns to the juniors. “Return to your positions,” he says evenly. “Try your best but do not take unnecessary risks.” “Yes, Hanguang-jun,” they all chorus, saluting properly. There’s a moment, after they turn to leave, where Lan Zhan stands still and Wei Wuxian almost thinks he’ll say something. Has he recognized him so quickly? Surely not. If it’s really been thirteen years, Wei Wuxian’s probably just a faded memory by now. Maybe that’s it — that the combination of demonic cultivation and Jiang Cheng and all of it reminded Lan Zhan of his old friend for a moment. When the Lan party has been swallowed by the trees, Wei Wuxian flees in the opposite direction. Forget whatever beast it is; it’s not worth it anymore. He’s going as far away from anywhere he knows and then he’ll figure out what Mo Xuanyu wanted him to do or he won’t and his soul will be destroyed and never able to reincarnate again. He might be panicking, a little. Then, he encounters the ghost in the cemetery and hears the rumors, and Wei Wuxian might be an idiot, but he hasn’t forgotten the last time he came to Dafan Mountain. It had been hard enough for Lan Zhan and him to seal the statue back then, and now there are actual children going up against it with no idea what they’re facing. Of course, it turns out that his niece and nephew didn’t get any of their mother’s good sense, and Lan Zhan’s baby juniors missed out on his preparedness. “You didn’t restock signals?” he demands. “How could you not restock such an important item?” He combs his hands back into his scalp and tries not to scream. If they were his shidis, they’d be running laps for a week. He’s about ready to scold Lan Zhan himself; as their shixiong, he ought to have taught them better. They’d seemed so competent at Mo Manor! Letting out an aggrieved groan, he snatches Lan Sizhui’s sword before the boy has time to do much more than yelp in surprise. He sends a brief apology to the memory of Chenqing as he hacks out an improvised dizi from the bamboo and tosses Sizhui back his sword before he starts to play. As he raises the flute to his lips, an arrow flashes through the evening sky, a white flare through the statue’s forehead. “Jin-guniang! Jin-gongzi! Be careful!” Lan Sizhui calls. Shijie, Wei Wuxian thinks as he closes his eyes, what in the world have your kids been learning? The noises the dizi makes can barely count as notes, and Lan Jingyi gripes about the sound, but Wei Wuxian ignores him. The music itself is only a vector, only conveying his intention. He pulls on every thread of willpower he has, flings out his call to anything powerful and resentful enough to take the statue down. The goddess is a seething blot of anger and hunger in his senses, and he presses around her, pushes his lure out further, farther. Come to me, the garbled song says. Wake up and rise. He can feel her bearing down on Jin Ling, can feel the bright pulse of energy as the kid unsheathes his father’s blade and aims up. Come to me. Every scrap of energy is pressed into the call, every thin thread he can dredge up. All at once, there’s an answer. “The Ghost General! It’s him! It’s the Ghost General!” Wei Wuxian’s eyes shoot open, dizi dipping down in shock. Wen Ning shoots up from the ground, catching the goddess in her brittle chin. Something’s not right, though. Heavy chains swing from his wrists and ankles; his eyes, when Wei Wuxian catches a glimpse, are black as ink. Horror twists through Wei Wuxian. He’d sent Wen Ning away to protect him, to prevent him from getting caught by the sects. Who did this to him? Who could? He doesn’t have time to wonder further. With the statue destroyed, the cultivators turn on Wen Ning himself. He’s flooded with resentment, the energy rippling off him in gales. Without his own control, he’ll turn on anyone who tries to attack. Steadying himself, Wei Wuxian draws in a breath and reaches for the first calming song he thinks of. As discordant as the melody is on this dizi, it still thrums with gentle suggestion. It’s me, he says through it. Wen Ning, it’s me. Calm down. Blurry memories flit through him with the notes: Lan Zhan’s voice low and gentle in the dark of a cave, a gentle hand on the side of his face, red lanterns glowing soft in the night. Taking careful steps backwards, he lures Wen Ning away from the cultivators already yelling for Jiang Cheng. If he can just get a little further— A hand wraps around his wrist. Startled, Wei Wuxian nearly drops the dizi as he starts to pull out of the grip, but he freezes. Lan Zhan’s hand is warm and broad, his amber eyes wide as he stares at Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian’s lips part, though he doesn’t know what he’s going to say. “Zongzhu, the Ghost General went that way!” Shit. Taking up the dizi, Wei Wuxian starts again even as Lan Zhan doesn’t release his grip. He presses more urgency into the melody, urges Wen Ning to flee and hide. At last, he flings himself away, and Wei Wuxian allows himself to draw in a much-needed breath. The hand around his wrist tightens, clenches almost painfully. “Ah!” Wei Wuxian yelps before twisting his hand to flip their grip. “Don’t chase him!” He holds Lan Zhan’s wrist too tightly, but Lan Zhan makes no move to break his grip. There’s something open and trembling in his expression, something almost like awe. Wei Wuxian can’t look away, suspended there with his hand on Lan Zhan and time a distant idea far removed from them. “Zongzhu, he’s the one who summoned the Ghost General,” the gangly Jiang disciple from earlier announces. Breaking his gaze from Lan Zhan, he turns to see Jiang Cheng only a few paces off. There’s something about his expression that’s a little off, a strain that Wei Wuxian doesn’t recognize. “So you’re back,” Jiang Cheng says, spits. “And you went running to him? Wei Wuxian!” Zidian flares to life, unspooling in his hand, and Wei Wuxian can’t help but flinch back. The fern-like scars furled across his back tingle with the memory of pain. Before he can move, Lan Zhan has stepped before him, his guqin summoned to hover under his hand. A single chord knocks Zidian aside mid-stroke, the clash of spiritual energy sharp enough to resonate through Wei Wuxian’s ribcage. Watching from the sidelines, he can’t help gaping a little. Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan really have progressed while he’s been gone. Zidian and Wangji were both powerful enough in his memory, but the way they flare and respond to their masters is like something out of a story. Something, nameless and heavy as a stone, sinks in Wei Wuxian’s chest and he forces it away. Good for them. He backs away carefully before he pivots and starts to flee in earnest. “You’re going to run away now?” He gets no further warning before Zidian is burning a caustic lash across his back and he’s flung into the dirt again. He cringes, gritting his teeth through the pain. It doesn’t hurt as much as he remembers from Madam Yu’s enthusiastic punishments, but it still burns worse than a hundred wasp stings. He scrambles to his feet, rubbing at his back. Mo Xuanyu was recognized by Jin Ling and his sister; maybe he can pretend long enough to deter Jiang Cheng. Anyway, his shidi really ought to have better manners. He’s a sect leader, for heavens’ sakes, and he’s not in his own territory. “Who do you think you are! Just because you’re a rich sect leader, does that mean you can go about whipping people as you like?” he scolds. “Take off your mask!” Jiang Cheng yells. Wei Wuxian is briefly tempted to stick out his tongue, and then, because he’s supposed to be crazy anyway, does it. “No! You’ll be shocked to death if I do,” he calls back. “Jiang-zongzhu, please stop,” Lan Jingyi protests, stepping forward. “Wei Wuxian’s body and soul were destroyed when he died. You killed him yourself, didn’t you?” Jiang Cheng breathes in sharply, eyes briefly widening with hurt, and Wei Wuxian frowns. He died when he destroyed the Seal. Jiang Cheng didn’t— Jiang Cheng, fear and anger snarling across his face— burning — Wei Wuxian, you promised. He stumbles, exhaustion finally catching up to him, and the memories flood in. He wakes slowly, to the solemn chords of the guqin. He can’t count the number of times Lan Zhan insisted on playing Clarity for him during the war; he recognizes it now even in its last notes. As it fades into quiet, a new song begins, one that tugs deep in Wei Wuxian’s chest. It sounds so much better when Lan Zhan plays it. Opening his eyes to the dark wood ceiling, he swallows and breathes through the tear slipping down into his hairline. “It’s really been thirteen years,” he says softly, letting himself take the weight of that understanding. “It feels like a dream.” Even with the river-rush of his memories running through him, there are still patches missing. He remembers dying, but the moments before it are scattered and disordered. He remembers parts of Qiongqi Pass, but so much of it is drenched in red it’s hard to discern the details. When he thinks of that year in the Burial Mounds, it’s hard to tell where reality ends and the nightmares begin. “You’re awake,” Lan Zhan says gently and resumes playing. Drawing himself up to sit with his back against the frame of the bed, he listens to Lan Zhan and tries not to think too much at all. The song curls into a gentle close, and Lan Zhan rests his hands over the strings to still them. He doesn’t look up, his gaze carefully fixed on some point a few strides before his guqin. “These thirteen years…” he starts. “If I say I don’t know where I was these thirteen years,” Wei Wuxian says, “will you believe me?” Lan Zhan swallows before dipping his head in a slight nod. “I believe you,” he says. He speaks quietly, but such surety runs through his voice that Wei Wuxian feels both as if the breath has been knocked from him and as if he might start crying. Ridiculous, he thinks and of course it’s in Lan Zhan’s voice. He pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs. “I don’t remember a lot, I think,” he admits quietly, resting his chin on his knees. “But I remember what I said to you.” Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lan Zhan still, hands tensing over his guqin. A twinge of pain and guilt aches in Wei Wuxian’s chest. So much for giving Lan Zhan an out, an opportunity to go make his life away from Wei Wuxian. Now he’s back, crashing into the peace Lan Zhan has surely cultivated in the intervening years. Thirteen years is far longer than they ever knew each other; what delicate balance has he created in that time that Wei Wuxian is now wrecking? “That day we ran into you in Yiling, the last time I saw you,” he says. “I’m — I’m sorry, for what I said.” Lan Zhan is still painfully still in his periphery, as if carved from jade. When he speaks, it is as if he is picking his words carefully, delicately. “That day in Yiling,” he echoes. “The last time you saw me.” There’s almost a question in his voice, and Wei Wuxian turns to him a little, frowning. Lan Zhan still doesn’t look to him. “Yeah,” he says. He swallows, forces himself to go on. “I — I thought I was protecting you by pushing you away but I was…it was wrong of me. I’m sorry for the way I treated you.” Lan Zhan’s chin lowers a little, but there’s a tension in the corners of his mouth like frustration or maybe dismay. Wei Wuxian’s brow wrinkles. Was it too much? Maybe he’s being too forward, assuming that he mattered enough to Lan Zhan to hurt him. Even as he thinks it, he knows that probably isn’t true. It’s just…well, it has been thirteen years. Maybe Lan Zhan doesn’t care for an apology so late. “Mm,” Lan Zhan says to his guqin. “It is forgiven.” He rises, robes cascading down like the white froth of a waterfall, and steps around the table to come to the bed where Wei Wuxian’s still curled. Perching on the edge of it, he studies Wei Wuxian’s face for a long moment, as if he’s searching for something. “What, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian teases around the knot in his throat. “Did you miss my face that much?” “Yes,” Lan Zhan says quietly. “I missed all of you.” Blinking, Wei Wuxian can only manage a strangled, ‘oh.’ He can feel the back of his neck warming, startled by the sincerity, and he looks away as he clears his throat. He’s not actually sure where they are, except that the simple style of the house and the familiar cloud patterns suggest somewhere in Cloud Recesses. “Eh, Lan Zhan, where are we? I don’t recognize this place,” he says. “The jingshi in Cloud Recesses,” Lan Zhan answers, unperturbed by the change of topic. “My home.” The heat rising up the back of Wei Wuxian’s neck suddenly has less to do with Lan Zhan’s sincerity and more to do with the realization that he’s in Lan Zhan’s private home, in his own bed, and apparently Lan Zhan is utterly fine with this.    “Cloud Recesses? But what if Zewu-jun finds out?” he protests. “It doesn’t sound like people are lining up to welcoming me in.” “Brother already knows,” Lan Zhan says. “He greeted us when we arrived. He…understands.” Wei Wuxian glances sidelong at him but decides he isn’t ready to unpack the emotional depth contained in that one word. He skirts away from it, already feeling raw and bruised. “And Lan-laoxiansheng?” he prods. “Has he finally forgiven me for disrupting class?” It’s the least of his sins against the Lans, but at least that means he can poke at it a little without fresh blood. “Uncle is not sect leader,” Lan Zhan says. The corners of his lips twitch in the faintest hint of amusement. “I believe Lan Jingyi reported that a Young Master Mo aided in their mission and was brought here for healing and protection.” “Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian gasps, scandalized and delighted, “you’ve learned how to be sneaky! I really have been a bad influence.” Breathing out a soft huff, Lan Zhan looks down at where his graceful hands rest in his lap. His gaze flicks up to Wei Wuxian, still soft in a way Wei Wuxian hasn’t seen it in — well, in years. Not since that last visit. “Wei Ying is good,” he says firmly. “You should rest. You were exhausted.” Wei Wuxian wrinkles his nose at that, but he can’t deny the soul-deep weariness weighing him down. Still, as Lan Zhan starts to rise, he reaches out on impulse and catches the edge of one white sleeve. “Hey, Lan Zhan,” he says with a little smile, hopeful, “sing for me?” For a moment, he thinks he has really overstepped. Lan Zhan stands still and straight by the bed, expressionless. Then, the line of his lips relaxes just-so, his gaze softening as he gives a single nod. “Mm,” he says, brushing a hand featherlight against Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. “If you’d like.” He goes back to the guqin instead of staying beside Wei Wuxian on the bed, which wasn’t quite the plan, but Wei Wuxian can’t find it in himself to complain as he nestles back into the bed and Lan Zhan begins. With Lan Zhan’s voice lilting in his ear and the soft thrum of the qin strings humming through his bones, he finds he’s not afraid to close his eyes.

[flightfoot]

Many of the side character’s stories and development in Trials of Apollo mirror and support Apollo’s own development

One of the things I love about ToA is how many of the other characters’ stories, their situations, their development, mirrors and compliments Apollo’s own development, reinforcing the story of how Apollo changes from being a selfish, arrogant, shallow, apathetic person, to one of the most selfless, humble, aware, and empathetic people in the Riordanverse.

Meg Mccaffrey

Obviously Meg’s story is the one that mirrors Apollo’s the most. I’ve already talked about this in past analyses however, and it’s so blatantly obvious I don’t want to waste time making a point that I’m sure all my readers already know. Maybe I’ll make another analysis focusing on Meg later, but I’ll skip over her for now.

Calypso

Fairly superficial similarities here. Calypso is also a former immortal who’s learning to deal with the loss of her powers (though not TOTAL loss) and being thrown into the demigod world headfirst. The emotional core of their experiences is different though, since Calypso’s whole thing was that she was trapped on an island (albeit a nice one) under house arrest for thousands of years. Apollo wasn’t really trapped like that. Even saying he was METAPHORICALLY trapped is a bit of a stretch, Zeus doesn’t seem to have been to involved in the day-to-day business of what Apollo got up to.

Lityerses

This one IS fairly similar actually. Lityerses is controlled and manipulated by his father, and it sounds like he’s okay with that - like he’s as bloodthirsty as his father is.

“Right.” He regarded Calypso. “I think I’ll keep you alive long enough to kill you in front of Valdez’s face. That’ll be fun. But this former god here...” Lit shrugged. “I’ll just have to tell the emperor that he resisted arrest.” (TDP 152)

But there are hints that maybe there’s more going on there. His muttering of “I hate that” when Midas casually mentions accidentally turning Lit to gold in The Lost Hero, him being glad that Apollo gave his father donkey ears, his casual mistreatment by Commodus - all of it gives the clues that maybe there’s a REASON for his attitude, for his behavior.

What it does NOT do, however, is hint that Lit could be a better person. None of any of the heroes’ encounters with Lit actually suggests that. That’s a leap of faith that Apollo makes, hoping that MAYBE, just maybe, Lit will be a better person if someone gives him a chance. If someone shows him kindness, helps him when they have no good reason too. He identifies with Lit. The hidden depths that Apollo’s shown as a mortal... they wouldn’t be apparent to a casual observer of him as a god. Heck, APOLLO didn’t know they were there! He’s constantly surprised at himself, at the kind of person he is now, at the sort of things he’ll do. Apollo gives Lit the chance he wants people to give himself, the sort of chance that he didn’t even really realize he needed. Showing him - showing Apollo - showing Lit - that level of kindness, mercy, and concern, when there’s no ulterior motive, showing it just because this is another person, and they haven’t really done anything to ‘earn’ compassion beyond that simple fact - that threw both of them for a loop.

In Apollo’s case, he really started appreciating others compassion in THO, when his children took him in, treated him as family, cared for him, said they’d protect him against anyone who gave him trouble.

“If anyone gives you trouble, Kayla will shoot them. Then I’ll curse them so bad they’ll be speaking rhyming couplets for weeks.”

My eyes watered. Not so long ago - like this morning, for instance - the idea of these young demigods being able to help me would have been ridiculous. Now their kindness moved me more than a hundred sacrificial bulls. I couldn’t recall the last time someone had cared about me enough to curse my enemies with rhyming couplets.

“Thank you.” I managed. I could not add “my children”. These demigods were my protectors and my family, but for the present I could not think of myself as their father. A father should do more - a father should give more to his children than he takes. I have to admit this was a novel idea for me. It made me feel even worse than before. (115)

It makes a difference here that his kids are helping him when he couldn’t offer anything back. If he’d still been a god, he wouldn’t have given their help much thought. He would’ve just thought that he was entitled to it, and that it’s not like he’d REALLY need them anyway. But this? This is different. They’re helping him just because they care - it’s not anything transactional. Apollo isn’t used to thinking about relationships this way - not for the most part anyway. His relationships with Artemis and Leto are solid, and he seems to have genuinely cared for Hyacinthus, genuinely loved him as a person, and cared for Asclepius quite a bit, but aside from that? Not so much. Certainly not caring about someone who’s practically a stranger.

This set an example for Apollo, one that he carries forwards to Lit. Lit also has never been shown this sort of kindness before, kindness when he’s at his most vulnerable, compassion without an expectation of a return, and most especially, compassion when he’s given Apollo and the Waystation residents every reason to reject him. And that compassion is enough to cause him to break down, to rethink his whole stance on life. Seemingly overnight, he changes from being the brutal, cruel killer who would murder Calypso in front of Leo just to hurt him that much more, to being a lost person just looking for something or someone to live for, to fight for. And having found it, he suddenly softens, becoming kinder, more balanced. 

But it’s not really an overnight change, is it? This other side has always existed, it’s just been hidden under layers of bravado and cruelty. That’s why both Lit and Apollo are able to change their mindsets so quickly - not all the aspects of what they’ve learned is truly “new”, they just haven’t applied them like this before, or not for a long time. Apollo’s experienced these sorts of caring relationships with Leto and Artemis at least, so they’re not totally a foreign concept. I’m betting in Lit’s case that he and his sister, at least at one point in time, did truly care about each other. The difference is seeing it applied more broadly to themselves by people who don’t already know them well, and then applying it to others that same way in turn.

Piper

Piper’s whole identity crisis has similarities to Apollo’s own. She was thrown into a situation where people expected certain things of her, and she just kinda... conformed to them. Which isn’t to say that she might not have chosen them herself on her own, but she didn’t really get that choice. Now that she has the time and has had a chance to think, she’s trying to find herself, figure out who she is. Her dad being financially ruined throws a wrench into it, but both of them returning to their roots, her father seemingly having more time to spend with her - those aspects are familiar. Apollo’s now figuring out who he is, now that he doesn’t have “being a god” to define him, along with everything else associated with that. His having his godhood stolen, and only now spending time really getting to know his kids and his demigod half-siblings, along with many, many others, is like how Piper’s dad now has time to spend with her, time he didn’t have before - a silver lining in this whole mess. 

Apollo’s advice to Piper seems to be talking about himself nearly as much as it’s talking about Piper.

“It’s been my observation,” I said, “that you humans are more than the sum of your history. You can choose how much of your ancestry to embrace. You can overcome the expectations of your family and your society. What you cannot do, and should never do, is try to be someone other than yourself - Piper McLean.” (265)

With how Apollo’s grown throughout the series and ESPECIALLY in TTT, this fits him as well. Apollo is more than the sum of his history, of what he has done, of what has been established by the older gods. He can choose how much of his past - and his family - to embrace, and overcome the expectations of his family, both godly and mortal, and of godly society. And he will do it by being himself, his WHOLE self, including the parts of his being that he’s been nurturing as a mortal, the compassionate, empathetic parts of himself.

Jason

Jason is a little different, because I don’t think his development, his situation parallels Apollo’s CURRENT situation, so much as Apollo’s future development. His willingness to sacrifice himself, to be the one who dies so that his friends can survive, wanting to keep secret about the prophecy so that Piper doesn’t try to stop him, so that hopefully he can keep her safe, even if it means merrily walking to his own death.... I’m expecting Apollo to get into a similar situation in TON. Though there are elements of that he’s already lived through, since he ALREADY chose Meg’s life over his own in TDP, and in TTT, he tried to conceal and downplay just how badly he was hurt to try to stop Meg from worrying as much.

Frank

Frank carries his mortality - the stick that’s attached to his life force - around with him. He’s decided that in order to lead the Legion effectively, he has to put one hundred percent of himself on the line. He can’t let fear hold him back. 

Apollo’s mortality is also on the line all the time. Originally he wanted to hide away, to cower behind others so as not to die (not that he actually tended to go THROUGH with it, either because he couldn’t or he wasn’t willing to abandon them) but now? Now he doesn’t even try. He wants to live, that’s true. But he values his companion’s lives more. He won’t hesitate to put himself on the line, to commit himself completely if he believes that it gives them a greater chance of survival.

The greater parallel however comes later, with Apollo’s hypothesis for how Frank survived his stick burning up. He believes that maybe since Frank took charge of his own destiny by willingly sacrificing himself, that he was freed from his old destiny and forged a new one:

“It’s just a guess,” I admitted. “Frank went into that tunnel knowing he might die. He willingly sacrificed himself for a noble cause. In doing so, he broke free of his fate. By burning his own tinder, he kind of… I don’t know, started a new fire with it. He’s in charge of his own destiny now. Well, as much as any of us are. The only other explanation I can think of is that Juno somehow released him from the Fates’ decree.” (393)

I don’t know how plausible this explanation is. Honestly, it kinda sounds like BS to me, especially since Jason did the same thing and HE died. But what’s important here is what APOLLO thinks happened. His explanation says as much about him as it does about what he thinks happened with Frank.

Breaking free of your fate by accepting, by EMBRACING your own mortality, putting everything on the line, sacrificing yourself completely in order to have a shot of stopping your friends from being hurt or killed... it’s similar to what happened with Jason, but with the added twist that Frank survived and started a new story, free of his previous destiny.

The destiny thing is really important. As a god, Apollo’s not ‘supposed’ to be able to change or mature. The gods seem to believe that their nature is more set in stone than mortals are. But Apollo has disproven that. He’s changed a lot, and has continued to change. He’s forging his own destiny, one different than he ever imagined it could be. And maybe, just maybe, one that Zeus won’t have control over. One that’s truly his own.

Don the Faun

Don has only a small role, but what Apollo says about him - what he thinks about him - says a lot.

“Hey, Apollo, you- you know the difference between a faun and a satyr…?”

[…]

A moment later, his body collapsed with a noise like a relieved sigh, crumbling into fresh loam. In the spot where his heart had been, a tiny sapling emerged from the soil. I immediately recognized the shape of those miniature leaves. Not a hemlock. A laurel - the tree I had created from poor Daphne, and whose leaves I had decided to make into wreaths. The laurel, the tree of victory.

One of the dryads glanced at me. “Did you do that…?”

I shook my head. I swallowed the bitter taste from my mouth.

“The only difference between a satyr and a faun,” I said, “is what we see in them. And what they see in themselves. Plant this tree somewhere special.: I looked up at the dryads. “Tend it and make it grow healthy and tall. This was Don the faun, a hero.” (398-399)

Here, Apollo’s noting that the difference between satyrs and fauns are purely societal. That there’s no inherent difference between them. Like the difference between gods and mortals, mentally, isn’t that different. Gods may be more powerful, but they’re still people, like mortals are. The differences between them, psychologically, have more to do with how society sees them, and how they see themselves. Having had his godhood stripped away, this is very apparent to Apollo. Because he’s still himself. A better version of himself, in fact, but that has nothing to do with him being mortal - not in and of itself. But with the things he’s learned as a mortal. He can be a hero, truly. Because he is just as capable of such things as any mortal.

Reyna

And lastly, there’s Reyna. She too, like Frank and Don previously, broke free from expectations to forge her own path. 

“My whole life, I’ve been living with other people’s expectations of what I’m supposed to be. Be this. Be that. You know?”

[…]

“But you showed me. When you proposed dating…” She took a deep breath, her body shaking with silent giggles. “Oh, gods. I saw how ridiculous I’d been. How ridiculous the whole situation was. That’s what healed my heart - being able to laugh at myself again, at my stupid ideas about destiny. That allowed me to break free - just like Frank broke free of his firewood. I don’t need another person to heal my heart. I don’t need a partner… at least, not until and unless I’m ready on my own terms. I don’t need to be force-shipped with anyone or wear anybody else’s label. For the first time in a long time, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. So thank you.” (405-406)

Reyna thought that she was supposed to find a partner. Everyone else thought she needed a partner - needed romantic healing. Until Lester asked her out. Until she saw how ridiculous it was to let others expectations - or curses, or whatever you’d call Venus’s little prophecy - control her life.

Apollo has a similar thing going on with letting expectations about what he’s supposed to do, about who he’s supposed to be, control what he does - or did, at least. I’ve gone over that already, so I’ll skip past that.

But the romantic angle? About thinking - or having others think - that she needs to be healed romantically? That also falls in line with Apollo’s development. Apollo’s had a LOT of romantic relationships, and a decent number of them have ended in disaster. He seems to be convincing himself that some romance will “fix” things, like with how he convinced himself that getting together with the Cumaean Sibyl would fix things:

But that wasn’t enough for me. I was smitten. I convinced myself it was love - the one true romance that would wash away all my past missteps. I wanted the Sibyl to be my partner throughout eternity. As the afternoon went on, I coaxed and pleaded. (131)

But he wasn’t in love with her, not truly, or his love wouldn’t have turned to hate so fast when she refused him. He just really WANTED it to be a shining romance, one that would finally fix things.

He actually does seem to be finding this sort of fulfillment now, but not with romantic relationships - with more platonic, familial relationships instead, such as with Meg.

I’d always wondered what it would be like to have a younger sibling. Sometimes I’d treated Artemis as my baby sister, since I’d been born a few minutes earlier, but that had been mostly to annoy her. With Meg, I felt as if it was actually true. I had someone who depended on me, who needed me around no matter how much we irritated each other. I thought about Hazel and Frank and the washing away of curses. I supposed that kind of love could come from many different types of relationships. (192)

I don’t think he’s realized it yet, but in a way, Meg seems to be “washing away” his curse of loneliness, of feeling empty. Taking care of her, connecting with her, bantering with her - this is what he needed. To be a protector. To be a friend. Romance is fine, but they’re not the only fulfilling sorts of relationships. 

Honestly with Reyna and Piper both taking a break from romance in order to find themselves, I think that Apollo may lay off the romance for a bit after ToA’s over, work on his more platonic relationships instead. I don’t think he’d swear it off, but maybe look for something more steady than he was before. And with the experiences he’s had as a mortal, I think he could better recognize truly serious love versus a temporary infatuation.

Final Thoughts

I really love how focused this series is on developing Apollo! A lot of aspects of this series seem geared to do that, from who the antagonists are and how they act, to the storylines of the side characters. It allows a level of development for Apollo that’s deeper and more nuanced than with any of Rick’s previous protagonists, even Percy. I look forward to seeing how Rick will conclude his development. If his writing for Apollo in TON is as solid as for previous entries, I’m sure it will be worth the wait.

[i-am-the-hero-alfred-jones]

Fairy Tail’s Fairy Tale’s Chapter 1

((This is my contribution to the Fairy Tail big bang by @ft-ez-bb​ ! I hope you guys enjoy it! Please comment/reblog/ect. I’ll be putting up a new chapter every day until the 27th.))

WENDY'S BIRTHDAY

Wendy awoke with a smile on her face, and in her heart. After all, how could she not be happy? It was her birthday, and Chelia and Lyon had come all the way from Lamia Scale to spend it with her! Which brought up a troubling fact, her bed seemed a lot more empty than the night before. Where was Chelia? The house only had one guest room, and they had decided to give it to Lyon, since he was a boy. Wendy threw her legs over the edge of the bed and hummed in thought. Carla wasn't in her bed on the opposite side of the room either. Where was everyone? 

The crashing and bickering from downstairs quickly answered her question. "I'm an ice mage! We deal with cold, not heat! Did you honestly expect me to be good in the kitchen?!" "Oops! Lyon! I accidentally started another fire!" "Quiet! You'll wake the child!" At the smell of smoke, Wendy decided she should probably get down there. She walked into the kitchen to see all three bickering around the oven, Carla was in her human form. 

"Uhm. . . Is everything alright?" Wendy asked politely. The group turned around, looking slightly panicked. "Wendy!" Chelia raced over to hug her friend. Wendy laughed and happily hugged back. "Happy Birthday!" "Thank you!" "We tried to make you breakfast but. . . um. . ." Chelia glanced over at the charred, strangely shiny remains of what had been eggs. ". . . It didn't go well.  . . " Wendy just smiled, "It's okay, we can go out to breakfast." she assured. "Oh! I wanna give you your present!" Chelia eagerly pulled Wendy towards the living room. 

Carla turned to the ice mage disappointingly once the girls had gone. "Honestly, Lyon! You're an adult! And you can't even cook?" "I can cook just fine!" Lyon snapped. "Tell that to the frozen eggs." Carla countered, gesturing to the frozen pan. "Oh, forgive me!" Lyon replied, sarcastically, "Next time I'll just let the fire keep going and burn your house down." Carla sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "I just hope the guild does better than you." Lyon had to laugh at that, "You think those fools remembered Wendy's birthday?" Carla gasped, "How dare you! The members of Fairy Tail utterly adore Wendy! They would never do anything to hurt her!" "Yeah, but they're idiots." Lyon stated. It wasn't an insult, it was a fact. ". . . Oh dear. . ." Carla murmured. Lyon had a point. ". . . They're definitely not the brightest . . . What if they did forget her birthday?" The exceed exclaimed, worriedly, "Oh! she'll be crushed! I can't let this happen. You have to stall her." Carla decided. Lyon was bewildered.

"Me?! What am I supposed to do?!" "Take her out to breakfast and open gifts. She received her gift from me last night and will no doubt want to show it to you. I'll go ahead to the guild and make sure she is not forgotten!" Carla shifted into her cat-like form and flew off without another word, leaving a very panicked Lyon in her wake. ". . . I am so screwed. . " he breathed.  ----- Carla was breathless by the time she arrived at the guild. She threw open the doors and glanced around worriedly. The wizards and witches of Fairy Tail were lazing around as if it were any ordinary Sunday afternoon. 

"No!" Carla shouted out loud. She put her head in her paws as the guild glanced towards her curiously. "What's wrong, Carla?" Happy asked, worriedly, as he approached. He didn't like it when Carla was sad. "You all forgot!" Carla wailed, looking back at the guild in misery. "We didn't forget nothing!" Natsu yelled angrily. He leaned towards his teammate, "Lucy, what'd we forget?" She sighed in reply. "Lyon was right . . ." Carla groaned. "Lyon?" Gray asked, "What are you talking to that jerk for?" "This is absolutely unacceptable!" Carla exclaimed, glaring at the guild, "Wendy is a part of your family! I cant' believe all of you would forget such an important day for her!" "What? Tuesday?" Gajeel asked from his place, with his arm around Levy. The woman stared up at the man she had chosen to be with in awe, ". . . It's Sunday Gajeel." The slayer scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Whatever. . ." "It's her birthday!" Carla exclaimed. "Who's birthday?" Jet asked. "Wendy's birthday you imbeciles!!!!" The guild fell silent at that. ". . . Oh shit . . . ."  "Didn't anyone remember?!" Carla exclaimed desperately. There was the sound of a throat clearing from the back of the room and everyone glanced over. "I thought this might happen and planned accordingly." Freed explained, smiling, "As you can see, I"ve provided both a gift and a banner." he gestured to the counter, where two presents and a rolled up banner sat, "The second gift is from Mystogan." he explained. Carla sighed, "At least one of you remembered. The rest of you better come up with something fast, because Wendy will be crushed if she learns you forgot her birthday." "I could put on a show for her?" Gajeel offered, rubbing the back of his neck. "No one wants that for they're birthday!" Natsu yelled from across the room. "Shut up Ash-for-brains, you wouldn't know talent if it bit you on the ass!" "I know it's not you!" ". . . Actually. . ." Carla mused, "A performance could work. . ." "Really?" Levy asked, surprised. "Really?" Gajeel asked, just as surprised. "Indeed, my present to Wendy was a book of Fairy Tales, and she was quite happy to receive it, Perhaps we could act out these stories in the form of a play, letting Wendy choose the cast and narrate." "That's a great idea, Carla!" Levy praised. Carla smiled, "Perfect! Now we have to get the stage and banner set up before she gets here." The guild members rushed to set everything up for their little sky dragon slayer.  --------  Wendy smiled as she entered the guild. Everyone was bustling about. Lyon chuckled at the view. "Never a dull moment around here." He lit up as he saw a beautiful figure from afar. "Oh, Wendy? Would you mind if I. . ." "You can go talk to Juvia." Wendy answered Lyon's question before he even finished it. "Thank you!" Lyon dashed off. The girls giggled as they heard Lyon get berated by his childhood friend. "Do you think he's ever going to give up on her?" Chelia asked, curiously. "Maybe after she marries Gray." Wendy joked. The girls laughed again. It was around this time Wendy finally spotted  her exceed, whom she approached curiously. 

"Carla, what's going on?" Carla gasped and whirled around at the voice. "Wendy! You're here!" the exceed paused for a long moment while the girls stared at her in confusion. Carla sighed and spoke louder, "Wendy's here!!!" The guild members whirled around to look at Wendy. They quickly took up the cry of "Happy Birthday!" Which Wendy beamed at. "Thanks so much everyone! I'm surprised you all remembered." The Fairy Tail guild fell completely silent for the second time in history, as everyone glanced away guiltily, while Wendy looked on in confusion. "Of course they remembered!" Chelia exclaimed, "They love you! So what'd you all get her?!" "Chelia, that's rude." Lyon scolded, lightly. "And you stealing my guild mate isn't?!" "This isn't about you, Gray!" The two returned to their bickering. "Our gift is a performance Wendy." Carla explained. "Really?!" Wendy lit up, but glanced around shyly, "Oh, I hope you didn't go through any trouble for me. . ." "Oh, hush, child." Carla scolded, "It was no trouble at all." 

Carla sat Wendy down at a table in front of the stage. "Did you bring the book I got you?" "Mm-hmm!" Wendy nodded and eagerly brought it out. "We are going to put on the Fairy Tales for you." Carla said, smiling as Wendy grew excited, "You may choose the story and who plays what part." "That sounds like so much fun!" Wendy cheered. "Then let's not dilly dally, let's get straight to it." Carla said. "Oh, there's so many stories- I don't even know where to start!" Wendy admitted, shyly. "Then let's start at the beginning." Carla suggested, "What's the first story?" "Um. . . Puss In Boots." Wendy said, turning pages to find the first story. "Who will play what part?" Carla asked. "Hmm. . . " Wendy thought for a long moment, "Well, Puss In Boots is about a clever cat that defeats an ogre and helps his master get a wife-Lily can do it!" "Lily can do what?" Pantherlily asked, looking up from his kiwi breakfast. "You can play Puss from Puss in Boots! Uh. . . if you want to. . ." Wendy added, shyly. Lily smiled, "I would love to." Gajeel stood. "Where are you going?" Levy asked. "No one's being my Lily's master but me!" he replied, sternly. Wendy giggled, "Okay. And Levy can be the princess! We need an ogre and a king!" "Makarov could be king." Mirajane suggested. The old man sighed, "I'm not as young as I used to be, but I'll give it a try." Mirajane gave her brother a look and he sighed, "I'll be the ogre." "Yay!" Wendy cheered. The group glanced over Wendy's shoulder and quickly re-read the story. "I can easily provide costumes." Erza assured, leading the group backstage  while Wendy began the first story. 

PUSS IN BOOTS 

Wendy began to narrate eagerly. "Once upon a time there was an old miller. When he died, he had three sons." Gajeel walked onto the stage. "To the first, he gave the mill." "Alright!" Gajeel said grinning. "That's not you." Wendy explained. ". . .Huh?" "That's your brother." Wendy told him. ". . .Oh. . ." She continued, "The second son got the donkey." "Not bad!" Gajeel grinned again. "That's also not you." Wendy informed him. "Then what did I get?!" Gajeel complained. "The cat." "The cat?! My brothers get a business and a donkey and I get a damn cat?!" Gajeel asked, angrily. "The cat is Lily." Wendy offered. "Best present ever!" Gajeel hugged his exceed happily.  

"But the miller's son had a problem. What was he to do with a cat? But the cat assured him that he would be fine." Wendy continued. Lily wormed his way out of Gajeel's grasp and turned to him, "Listen, all I need is a pair of boots and some hunting gear, and I'll make you rich." he promised. Gajeel looked skeptical, but shrugged, "I don't really believe you, but I'm desperate, so what the hell?"  "The cat got his boots and spent the next few months hunting to take care of his master." Wendy continued, "But every few weeks, the cat would go visit the king." Makarov sat in a  fine throne onstage. Lily walked up, holding a bowl of fruit up to him, "A gift from the Lord of. . . the Iron Hills." "Tell your master that I thank him for the gifts." Makarov replied. Lily bowed and both of them scurried offstage. 

"One day, when the cat knew the king was going to be out in the village, he brought his master to a lake." Wendy said. Gajeel followed Lily back out onto the stage. "I'm doing what?"  the slayer asked. "Strip and get in the lake." Lily gestured to a large barrel that was serving as their lake. "Why?!" Gajeel exclaimed. "Just trust me. I have a plan." Lily assured. Gajeel sighed and climbed into the barrel. They had decided to leave the stripping out, since there were children in the room.  

“While he was bathing, the king walked by with his daughter." Wendy continued. "Help! The Lord of the Iron Hills is drowning!!!" Lily exclaimed. Makarov rushed over and pulled Gajeel out of the 'lake'. "His clothes were stolen by a thief!" Lily explained. "You will have some of my robes then." Makarov said. Erza used her magic to give Gajeel fine clothes. "I remember you from the gifts your cat has given me. Now walk with me." Makarov walked offstage, Levy and Gajeel followed. 

"The cat ran ahead and told everyone he met to say that the land they were working on belonged to the Lord of the Iron Hills." Wendy continued, "And went to the nearest castle, which happened to be owned by an ogre." Elfman walked onstage and Lily walked up to him and bowed, "Dear Sir, I have been told that you can turn into anything." "I can!" Elfman confirmed, cockily. "Can you turn into a giant monster?" Lily asked. "Of course I can!" Elfman changed into a large creature and Lily yelped and hid behind the nearest object- which happened to be the barrel/lake. Elfman laughed as he changed back into a human. 

"Hmm. . . not bad." Lily admitted, creeping out from his hiding place, "But can you turn into something small, like a mouse?" "With ease!" Elfman flexed and Wendy turned to the guild, "When the ogre turned into a mouse- the cat ate him!" The duo raced offstage. "It was around this time that the king and miller's son arrived." Makarov and Gajeel walked back onstage. "So this is yours too?" "Indeed. My master is the best lord in all the land." Lily assured, standing by his dragon slayer's side. "If he's that great, he has my blessing to marry my daughter." Makarov assured, letting Levy step forward. Gajeel grinned as he leaned down to kiss her. "And they all lived happily ever after!" Wendy cheered. 

The guild clapped as the actors got off the stage. "You two can stop kissing now." Lily said with a small sigh as he watched the couple make out. "No thanks, I'm good." Gajeel only grinned as Levy gave him a light shove and looked over towards the book. "What's next?" she asked curiously. Wendy turned back to the book, "The Foolish Wishes." she read. "I know that story!" Levy smiled, "That would be perfect for Natsu and Lucy." "Huh?!" Lucy exclaimed. Wendy gasped and turned to the duo energetically, "Oh, please Lucy?! Please Natsu?!" Lucy sighed and smiled fondly "Oh, alright. . ." she stood and began reading the story. "Sure! If Gajeel can do it, I can do it!" Natsu grinned and used Lucy as an arm rest while he read. Once they were done, they headed backstage and Wendy began the second story. 

THE FOOLISH WISHES

"There was once a poor woodcutter . . . " Wendy began, at this Natsu walked onstage. "He was so sad he wanted to die." "SCREW YOU, HEAVENS!" Natsu yelled, angrily, "You've never given me anything!" "At this moment Jupiter appeared! Oh. . . but we didn't choose a Jupiter. . ." Wendy realized, sadly. "The heck is a Jupiter?" Natsu asked. "Jupiter is the god of thunder and lightning." Carla explained, "King of the Roman gods." 

"We have our own god of thunder~" Freed smirked over at his love teammate. Laxus slowly turned to look at the rune mage, "NO." "Come on, Laxus. You'd make her day." Evergreen pressed. "Yeah! Don't be an ass!" Bixlow said. "Ass!" "Ass! "Ass!" his babies repeated, flying around Laxus's head. The blonde sighed and glared ahead, "You three won't leave me alone until I do it, will you?" "No, we will not." "Nuh-uh." "We're just gonna keep annoying you!" "Annoying!" "Annoying! "Annoying!" "I'm also going to cut off your alcohol privileges until you do it." Mirajane chirped in. That did it. Laxus groaned and approached Wendy.  "I'll be your Jupiter- but only because I'm being forced into it." he shot a glare at his team as he climbed onto the stage. His voice was emotionless when he spoke. 

"I am Jupiter. God of thunder and lightning. Fear me." Natsu snickered at the lackluster performance, "That's all ya got? C'mon, man! Do some special effects or something!" Laxus was more than happy to strike Natsu with lightning. While the Salamander lay on the ground in pain, Wendy continued, "Jupiter promised the woodcutter three wishes!" "Alright, dumbass, listen up." Laxus grabbed Natsu by the scarf and yanked him into a standing position, "The first three wishes you make will come true, got it?" Natsu nodded, he opened his mouth to speak but Laxus quickly covered it, "So don't waste them on dumb shit." Laxus dropped Natsu onto the ground again and hopped off of the stage, grumbling bitterly as he returned to his seat. "With those words, Jupiter returned to the sky!" Wendy narrated, happily, "But the woodcutter raced home to his wife." 

Lucy walked in and set up a table and two chairs, before taking a seat at the table. Natsu raced over gleefully, "WE'RE GONNA BE RICH!!!!" he cheered. "What?" Lucy exclaimed, "How?!" "The woodcutter told his wife the story." Wendy narrated. "We have to be careful with our wishes, Natsu. We'll sleep on it and make the wishes tomorrow morning." Lucy suggested, "I'll go make dinner you start the fire." Natsu nodded, "I'm good at that." Natsu enthusiastically set the nearby barrel on fire (the one they had used as a lake in the last story) and put his feet up on the table. 

"Man this fire looks tasty." Natsu thought aloud, "I wish I had a sausage too!" Mirajane threw a sausage onstage and Natsu stared down at it, ". . . Oh no." "Natsu!! You idiot!!" Lucy yelled angrily, "We could've had gold, diamonds, jewels- And you wish for a sausage?!!" "It was an accident!" Natsu defended. 

"I can't believe i ever made friends with someone like you!" Lucy ranted on. "Hey! I said it was an accident!" Natsu was starting to grow angry. "This is the stupidest thing you've ever done! And you've done a lot of stupid things-" "I wish the sausage was stuck on your nose!!!" Natsu yelled angrily. Lucy gasped as she picked up the sausage and held it to her nose. "NATSU!!!!!!" 

"Oh no! We only have one wish now!" Natsu realized, ignoring his 'wife's' plight, "What should I use it for?!" "I have a sausage stuck on my nose!!!!" Lucy scolded. Natsu sighed, "I wish my wife didn't have a sausage on her nose. . ." he grumbled. The sausage fell to the ground. "And so the woodcutter and his wife learned a valuable lesson!" Wendy announced, proudly as the duo left the stage. "Man, Lucy, why do you always gotta mess things up?" "I messed it up? I think you read the wrong story pal-" 

[harveywritings92]

Connor x Albino! Native! Reader

Readers Native name is: Otsi'tsa A Mohawk name meaning: Flower. The reader and  Ratonhnhaké:ton were childhood friends until she was captured by colonists at a young age because they thought she was a white child who was kidnapped by the Mohawk, And was renamed Y/n L/n by the orphanage the colonists had left her at, she eventually escaped the orphanage eventually finding her way to Davenport ending with her being adopted by Achilles.

Italics = Kanienʼkéha

Normal = English

"father I've done my work can I go out please?"  You ask hopping on your toes in anticipation as Ratonhnhaké:ton and Kanen'tó:kon both stood outside waiting for her as the other children ran passed them, after some consideration your father silently nodded. You smiled along with the two boys and ran off as your father yelled "Be sure to keep your hood on! and stay within sight of the village!"  

You nodded pulling the small hood over your head protecting you're pale skin from the sun as you white braid rest over you left shoulder as you and the other kids gathered around in a group trying to figure out what to play when they heard a twig snap you and all the children whipped your heads in the direction it came from and were terrified when group of white men appeared from the woods started walking towards the group.

You felt your heart sink into you're feet as one of the men pointed at you. "See, I told ya them savages kidnapped a little one!" he said gruffly as the presumed leader took a step forward causing the other kids to scatter and hide. 

You were too scared to move or scream as one them went to grab you only for Ratonhnhaké:ton to suddenly jump in and hit the man's hand away with a large stick. "Get away from her!" he hissed standing in front of you protectively.

Despite how brave he was trying to act; You could tell he was scared he was shaking like a leaf! The men laughed gave the little boy a swift kick in the stomach knocking the air out of him and sent him off his feet, and the men got a hold of you! you screamed kicked and struggled as they dragged you away all while hearing Ratonhnhaké:ton and Kanen'tó:kon screaming. "Otsi'tsa! NO! give her back! help!!" over and over until the voices faded... 

3rd pov: That was six years ago...

Six years since those men took her from her home. Six years since they left her at this awful orphanage! Six years since they forced her to change her name...

Well, not anymore! Otsi'tsa or Y/n as She had been dubbed had been causing a lot of trouble for the nuns and any potential families interested in her...much to the other kids enjoyment.

the nuns chased her around the orphanage demanding she behave herself. "Make me donkey face!!" she'd yell in her people's language causing the old woman to turn beet red due to not understanding what she was saying, and she'd get the ruler foe speaking the devils tongue, it was during one such time something seem to snap in the other kids; they started running around and acting out with the white haired girl! 

Soon the entire orphanage was in a tizzy as the head nun tried in vain to get the children under control, Otsi'tsa used the commotion to quietly slip out of the orphanage before they noticed she was gone and hid in the first cart she saw turns out it was headed to the frontier...

The albino was awoken abruptly by the cart stopping she quick got out and jumped into some bushes as the driver came around grumbling and checking the back of his grumbling about the wheel coming loose and looking for tools only to find apple cor and a bite taken out of one of the cheese wheels!

...They barely fed them at the orphanage, So the little native couldn't help herself! luckily she was long gone as the owner frantically look around for who or what was responsible for eating his supplies.

Otsi'tsa wasn't sure how long she trekked through those lands for, But she thanked whatever forces out there, that she hadn't had any run ins wolves, bears or mountain lions! soon she found herself on a doorstep of a of a large mansion, dirty, cold,wet and hungry...

She knocked hoping someone was home and maybe she could get them to give her job in exchange for food? and then continue her way home...there was a cranky voice on the other side that snapped at her to go away...She blinked and knock again causing whoever was yelling to cuss.

the swung open and an angry old man was standing in front of her Otsi'tsa shrank back, as he got one look at her miserable state and his glare soften before sighing and let her inside, She introduced herself as Otsi'tsa,The old man bluntly told the white haired girl he can't pronounce that! So she said he can call her Y/n.

Soon the native girl had gotten to know her host (after he had given her a bath and clean clothes) and noticed how lonely the old man or Achilles as he introduced himself was; she noticed he looked sad whenever she asked where his family was, Since the clothes he'd given her were boys clothes so surely he couldn't be living in this manor by himself?

Eventually she got her answer; While pulling weeds around the property, her red eyes widened when she found his wife and son's tombstones after some coaxing he told her his life story.

And soon Y/n's overnight stay, turned into permanent residency and with that Achilles had started training her to be an Assassin, Three years into her training Y/n was stunned when a ghost from her past showed up on their doorstep.

She was in the kitchen making spiced apple bread when she heard a knock at the front door, surprising the albino native as they hardly had visitors except for Faulkner...But only when he was low on Alcohol, and she'd had already went on a keg run for him not even a day ago! She heard Achilles grumble get up from his chair and answer the door and talk to someone...

Curious Y/n wiped her hands on her apron and went to see who was there, just in time to see Achilles yell and slam the door in that person's face! Odd...And rude. "Who was that?" The red eyed girl asked blowing her bangs out of her face as the old assassin grimaced "No one to worry about!" he huffed scudding to the sitting room as the knocking came from the backdoor.

The native girl hummed bemused and went to see for herself, only for her mentor to bark "Leave it!" from the other room "Stubborn old man..." She mumbled in Kanienʼkéha then she saw someone move out of sight out the window and Achilles move upstairs soon the knocking started up there too! Whoever this person was, they do not give up! She heard the old man snap at the visitor to go away...

But they didn't, they came back the next day! and kept badgering the old man, Y/n could only sigh and shake her head at this whole scenario! when one stubborn hot-head meet another sparks are bound to fly! on the third night, the albino was awoken in the wee hours of the morning by voices coming from outside, they aren't the boy who had been badgering Achilles. No, these were different malicious...

The female assassin got up from her bed just in time to see said boy fighting off a group of crooks and immediately she went on high alert as she got her hidden blade started making her way downstairs, Achilles had the same idea, the albino silently snuck up behind one and stabbed him the back while Achilles took of the boss, And went to help the boy of the ground she grabbed his hand and...

"Otsi'tsa?"

"How do y...Ratonhnhaké:ton?"

The albino gawked at her old childhood friend trying to process how he could be here? next thing she knew Y/n was swept up in a tight bone crushing hug by Ratonhnhaké:ton! she was still in shock before it hit her that he was really here..and return the hug the two pulled away as they got a good look at each other. "I can't  believe it's really you.." Ratonhnhaké:ton he said with slight tremble in his voice as he held her cheeks in his hand, his childhood friend cracked a smile.

"Me neither..." she said back tucking some hair behind her ear and wanted to ask about her father and the tribe but was interrupted by Achilles clearing his throat "As heartwarming as this all is, would you two clean this mess up so we can get down to business?" the two teens separated and got to cleaning up the bodies, than joined Achilles in the manor. The old man  went on to explain the creed history and precursors to Ratonhnhaké:ton while the albino went to make something to eat and drink as the two talked as she had heard this all before.

"Until you’re ready, Y/n will act as you teacher while out on the field." Achilles announced confusing the native boy as far as he could tell Achilles and Otsi'tsa were the only ones living here? When his friend sheepishly announced that she was Y/n. "No you're Otsi'tsa." He said confused and the red eyed girl had to explain that the orphanage she was sent to gave her a new name, that... and Achilles doesn't speak their language so Y/n L/n sorta stuck.

"You can still call me by my real name." She assured as Ratonhnhaké:ton awkwardly tested her second name few times, before Achilles explain why she was in charge of him during training as Y/n had more experience then took them down to the basement to show them the wall. 

there Ratonhnhaké:ton was temporarily distracted by some assassin robes before Y/n "You have long road ahead before you're ready for those." she stated without even looking at him, the Mohawk boy blushed and started to stammer insisting that he meant no harm. 

the albino giggled as Achilles slammed his cane into the ground making the look at him, Needless to say Y/n was horrified ti find out what happened after she was kidnapped the village burned, Ziio and her father's death and most shocking of all Haytham Kenway the grand master of the colonial Templar order was the one responsible and Ratonhnhaké:ton's father.

Y/n didn't know how to process this went out for a run to get some air and think... she eventually found herself at Faulkner's shack the sailors could see something was bothering their Little Missy, but it was clear she didn't really want to talk about it, She always comes to the docks when she wants to think, she heard Faulkner come up behind her a sat down next to her "Now Girly what seems to be the ailment of the day?" he coax after a few seconds she unloaded everything meeting her childhood finding out his father killed her father and half their village, now she doesn't what to do or think! the old sea dog hummed took a sip from his flask.

 "That's quite the debacle...I don't have anything to say to that other than don't hold it against the boy, and good luck." He said gruffly and then offered her a swig from his flask the pale girl cocked a brow and took a sip before noticing Ratonhnhaké:ton coming up to them causing her to choke and start coughing as she handed the flask back to Faulkner who got up and left. "*cough* H-How..wh-what are you doing here?" she stammered the boy shyly rubbed the back of his head.

"I saw you leaving the basement you looked haunted.." he said sadly "I didn't mean for you to find out like that." he said taking Faulkner's spot next to her, grimacing when he smelled the alcohol on her person the albino shook her head. "Don't sorry, it was probably for the best I find out now then later." She knowing full well if Ratonhnhaké:ton had kept his parentage from her she would've been on guard and suspicious of him for the rest of their lives, the two sat on that dock for the rest of the morning exchanging stories and how much had changed since they'd last seen each other. 

Ratonhnhaké:ton was amazed how Otsi'tsa escaped from the orphanage by rebelling and starting a riot, it was shocking to say the least considering she was the most timid and cautious child in their tribe, mainly due to her condition and her father's over protectiveness, she wouldn’t even harm a rabbit unless she was positive she wouldn't get in trouble! The Albino wasn't even phased when Ratonhnhaké:ton was given orders by the spirits to seek out the Creed and help stop the Templars, she felt he was meant for something greater in life that something wasn't staying with their tribe.     

She informed him they had a lot of work ahead of them, and he had better be prepared because the Old man wasn't the one he had to worry about, "I'm one harsh teacher." She teased causing Ratonhnhaké:ton to playfully bump her shoulder. "Sure you are!" he hummed as they got up to raced back the manor. Needless to say Achilles was unimpressed that two of his students were late, dirty and smelled like a bar! Nor was he impressed by the "will they? won't they?" game they played with each other through the years, But that is a story for another day!            

~End~

[writersrealmbts]

Painted Crown: Part 4/End

Description: You have faithfully served the royal family for years. But as reality sets in, Jungkook, a prince from a neighboring kingdom, offers you something you had never dreamed of having.

Warnings: N/A

Posted: 08/27/2019

Tags: Jungkook x reader, Prince!Jungkook, Prince!Taehyung, Prince!Hoseok

?: 3,333 words

A/N: I literally just finished writing this and haven’t had time to proofread because I need to get ready to leave, so I’m sorry for any mistakes!

You gazed out at the town through the carriage windows, worry starting to gnaw at your stomach at the impending meeting with Jungkook’s parents. Your father had no objections or qualms over you marrying Jungkook, but he was a prince. You were not a princess, and you were well aware that both princes may be disillusioned with their parents expectations regarding Jungkook’s marriage. “It’s beautiful.” “I’m glad you like it.” Jungkook gently took your hand. “You see that street there, that we’re passing?” You nodded, noting the colorful banners of market stalls and the spacious conditions of the roads. “That’s the best street to ride down in the mornings, the kids on their way to school and the stalls not quite open yet. And then walking to the school with the kids, before riding into the fields and back to the castle. It’s great.” “Jungkook always buys the kids fruits when he rides there in the mornings,” Hoseok said, smiling proudly at his younger brother. “Studying while hungry is the worst,” Jungkook said, dread in his voice at the thought of it. “All those days with Jongsil staring down his nose at me while he incanted the history of four centuries ago and the genealogies of rulers so long gone that their names don’t even grace the halls of the dead in what’s been the capital of our country since it was founded: all on an empty stomach because he always came between morning and evening meals, right when I would take my midday meal.” You laughed softly. “You’d think you would have learned to take a snack with you.” Hoseok laughed at that as Jungkook just sort of gaped at you like the thought had never occurred to him. You laughed a little louder at his face, then kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry, I will ensure your meals are never missed unless it absolutely cannot be helped. A morning ride such as the one you described does sound lovely. Perhaps I could join you on your next one?” He smiled at you and nodded. “I would love that.” “I should have ridden my horse instead of being stuck in here with you,” Hoseok muttered, looking out the window. You smiled up at Jungkook, who grinned back shyly. “You know, I did hear that you are betrothed to a princess in the south. If you’re that jealous of us, you could always go ahead with the marriage plans.” Hoseok looked at you with a mix of surprise, discomfort, and horror. Jungkook started laughing. “Don’t act jealous if you’re not ready to tie the knot, hyung.” Hoseok put a hand over his heart like you had given him the biggest scare in his life. “Do you even know what she is like?” You asked. “I have heard rumors here and there,” Hoseok replied, shrugging. “She’s beautiful, and kind. She’s the second of twelve sisters. There’s some sort of trouble over there recently, I think.” He shook his head. You frowned slightly. “What sort of trouble?” “A curse, on all of the sisters.” You felt your eyes widen. “All twelve?” “Yeah, so we’ll probably go in a year or so to find out what really is going on. Then we’ll either solidify the betrothal agreement, or render it null.” Hoseok shrugged, looking out the window and sighing with a stretch as the carriage entered the castle gate. “Meaning you’re going to drag me all the way to another kingdom to see if you actually want to marry this girl and if you don’t you’re going to have me help you convince father that it would do the country more ill than good?” Jungkook asked, sighing and looking out the window. “Like you did with the last princess mother wanted you to marry?” “She laughed like a donkey and had the manners of a hag,” Hoseok muttered, folding his arms. “I couldn’t live with that. No matter the good the alliance could do to the kingdom. I couldn’t make her the future queen of our kingdom.” Jungkook gave you a look that said that the princess they spoke of was only the latest in a long line of potential matches. You smiled softly. “I’m sure you will find the right princess for both the kingdom and yourself, my lord.” “I told you, call me Hoseok.” “Mmm, perhaps after the wedding,” You countered quietly, looking at your hands before taking a breath as the door to the carriage opened. “A maid will show you to your room to freshen up, then I’ll meet you in the great hall and we will introduce you to my parents,” Jungkook told you quickly. You nodded as Hoseok dismounted and turned back to help you instead of the footman. Over the trip you had learned that they preferred to do it over having the footman help you, but had yet to learn the reason why. The footman, a nice fellow who played the lute, was just as mystified, but far more accustomed to it. And though protocol would usually have you exiting the carriage first, they preferred to have one of them exit first, a precaution outside of the castle in case of danger. You had tried to argue that you were much more dispensable than either of them, and were met with intense reproach and rebuttal. You surveyed the castle with guarded awe, stomach churning as you looked up at the daunting fortress. It was larger than the one you were accustomed to. If you were staying, it would take you at least two weeks to memorize the layout of the castle. “Don’t worry, it looks friendlier on the inside,” Hoseok told you, amusement lacing his voice. You looked at him. “I hope you’re right.” His face softened as he continued smiling at you. “I am. Everything will be fine.” Jungkook hopped out in a very undignified manner, stretching. “Oh, it’s good to be back. Let’s get away from the crowd, yeah?” “Jungkook, could you at least act like a prince?” You asked, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as you took his offered arm. Hoseok snickered and strutted toward the entrance. Jungkook looked a little taken aback. “What do you mean?” “I mean, don’t you think they’ll judge whether or not I’m a good match for you based on your own behavior as well as my own?” You asked in a quieter voice. He smiled. “Of course. I apologize, y/n. I wasn’t thinking.” A maid came over and curtsied to you. “My lady, I will be showing you to your room, if it please you.” “Thank you, what is your name?” You asked, releasing Jungkook’s arm. She looked a little shocked at the question, leading you to believe you would have your work truly cut out for you. “Rose, ma’am.” “Rose, yes, please do lead the way,” You said, turning to bid adieu to Jugnkook. “Try to rest, y/n.” He bent to kiss your hand, then walked quickly over to where a knight was waiting. You sighed silently, gazing after him a moment before looking back to Rose. “I apologize, I’m keeping you waiting.” “No, ma’am, it’s alright. Just this way, please,” She said, sounding nervous now as she quickly turned to lead you through the castles. You were led to nice bedchambers, very spacious and richly furnished, though maybe not completely to your own taste. “Some of your things have yet to be brought up,” Rose apologized with a curtsy. Two more maids were standing by in your room. “We’ve drawn a bath and prepared a gown for milady to change into,” One of them, an older woman, likely of some standing in the staff said. “Shall I assist while they unpack your things?” You hesitated in your response. She had a twinkle in her eye. “Or perhaps milady would prefer I defer my assistance until after she has bathed and changed into clean underthings.” “Yes, that would be…preferable.” “Her majesty also sent a gown for you, as a present, wishing you to wear it to this evening’s dinner,” the other maid said, curtsying. You looked past her to the gown that lay on the bed. “I am sure I am grateful.” However it really wasn’t your color. Actually, it was the opposite of your color. And it looked like it was made for someone half your size. And half your age. “However, I would like my blue gown for this evening if this gift should…prove…” “To be the wrong size?” Rose offered. “Yes, thank you. I apologize, it must have been a longer journey than I expected. What are your names?” You asked the new maids. You suspected they were appointed to be your ladies maids by the queen (providing you weren’t rejected by their majesties) and you weren’t about to be that naked with strangers. “Brigitte,” The younger said with a curtsy. “Magdalene.” The elder sort of bowed instead. “Pleased to meet you both. My blue gown should be in that trunk over there, likely towards the top. And my slippers should be just underneath.” “Yes, ma’am,” Brigitte curtsied again. You nodded and headed into the chamber where Magdalene had gestured when speaking of the bath. She followed behind you, hanging your underthings and then laying a towel out for you. “Just leave your clothing in the basket over there and I’ll see that they’re cleaned. It must have been a long journey, so take your time and try to relax. You’ve a few hours before I am to show you to the great hall to meet his highness.” “He sent instructions in advance with some of our luggage, I take it?” You asked in a hushed tone. “Yes, miss. The castle has been buzzing with word of your coming. Word’ll soon spread to the town. We were all surprised, though. The younger prince has always been so shy.” You felt the water to check the temperature, noting the rose petals floating in the water. “Indeed. I am as surprised as anyone. But he’s so…universally charming. He’s everything a young man ought to be if he can. He has his faults, we all do. Mine is to doubt, and expect the fragility of the situation to crack and disappear through my fingers as sand at any moment. I was the young princess’s lady in waiting. I was to teach her diplomacy, war tactics, and politics. How did I end up here?” “If I had to guess, my lady?” You looked to her, waiting. She smiled warmly. “You fell in love.” You looked away, the corner of your mouth turning up into a smile. “How could I not? Am I a fool, do you think?” “No, miss. I think you’re very far from a fool, and I think the Prince may have made a very wise decision. To teach those things, you have to know them, I would think.” She bowed a bit again. “Begging your pardon, miss, my knees can’t bend like they used to.” “Then do not stress them on my account. Thank you, Magdalene. I shall call when I’m ready for your assistance.” You smiled at her. She bowed a bit again, and left you to your bath. After a long soak, you changed into a gown the maids had picked out for you to meet the king and queen in, which was one you had picked in your mind to wear as well, and allowed Brigitte to do your hair (it was her specialty). Then you picked at some cosmetic lotions and such that the queen had also gifted you with the assistance of both maids before using a simple lip tint that you had brought from home. You wore your mother’s pearl necklace and earrings with a sapphire necklace your father had given you at your coming-of-age gala. You stared at yourself in the mirror, looking for flaws and seeing all of them. “You look beautiful, my lady,” Brigitte breathed, looking genuinely awed. “Just as a princess should.” “I do not wish to mislead them,” You whispered, smoothing the already smooth fabric of your bodice. “You shan’t, my lady. It is time to go meet the prince,” Magdalene said gently. You could understand why she was assigned to assist you now, and were grateful that the head of the maids had had the foresight to give you someone like Magdalene to assist you. Jungkook was talking with some noble-looking men in the great hall, but his face lit up when he saw you, causing the other two men to turn. You curtsied to them. “You look beautiful, y/n, as always,” Jungkook said softly, taking your hand and kissing it, but he never released it again. “May I present Lord Kim Yugyeom and Jung Jaehyun, Duke of Betasilla.” The bowed as though you were a princess, despite you curtsying in respect to their positions, which led to some awkward glances. You smiled at them. “I take it you are close to Jungkook?” “Ah, yes, we grew up together,” Yugyeom answered, looking mischieviously at Jungkook. “Unfortunately we should head to the throne room, my parents are eager to meet you,” Jungkook intervened quickly, as if sensing the trouble brewing behind that gaze. “See you at the feast tonight.” “We’ll be toasting to the two of you loudest,” Jaehyun responded with a grin, raising a hand as though he were holding a chalice already. Jungkook led you away at a brisk pace. “Jungkook,” you murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. “You’re walking a little too quickly for me.” He came to an abrupt halt. “Sorry.” You blinked a few times to compose yourself. “Are you nervous?” “No,” He answered immediately. “Those two were just liable to make up some nonsense story to try and make me look bad in front of you.” You smiled and placed your free hand on his arm. “If you thought I was that easily swayed, then you would not have brought me here.” He looked at your face and smiled back. “Yeah. Ready?” “Not remotely, however we should not keep them waiting.” He nodded and led you into the throne room, bowing as your curtsied in the proper manner after reaching the point where you were in front of the King and Queen. “Father, mother, this is Lady Y/n. I intend to make her my wife.” You tried to suppress your surprise at his blunt greeting, mentally panicking because that is not how you would ever think of presenting a marriage between yourself and Jungkook. “I see,” The King’s voice murmured, a slightly amused tone to the single word he said, but you didn’t dare to look up to try and read his face. “She has been taught in the ways a princess should, with a background in politics and tactics. She understands diplomacy, and propriety. She knows what the lives of the poor look like, as well as the lives of the nobility. She makes me comfortable in crowds, and she’s gentle, but she’s not afraid to put those who have stepped out of line in their proper place. She’s graceful, and looks like an angel on the dance floor.” Jungkook’s voice was so soft and loving that it made you feel warm all over—or maybe that was the embarrassment. “And she’ll probably scold me later for saying all of this in the way that I am.” You were frozen, gaze on the stairs to the dais where the thrones and their occupants were resting. “She’s older than I thought,” The Queen said. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to marry Princess Mala?” “I love y/n,” Jungkook said resolutely as you died a little more inside. You peeked up. The King looked amused while the Queen’s pinched lips wore a frown. “But a marriage to Princess Mala would help the Kingdom.” “Our kingdom is secure, and will be helped with whatever marriage Hoseok-hyung makes. There is something to be said for a wife that can help me help our people.” “And you think that a princess cannot do that, but this nobody can?” “Mother,” Hoseok protested, surprise in his voice. “My dear, she’s hardly nobody. Prince Taehyung and his family wrote us specifically regarding her.” You felt queasy. “Just because of their peculiar regard for her, I am to believe that she will be good for the kingdom?” “Your majesties?” You spoke up, uncertain of what you would say, but needing to say it all the same. “Yes, you have something you wish to say?” The King’s voice was gentle. You looked at Jungkook, who looked frustrated and upset, then back to the King and Queen. “It is true. I do not have the riches, nor the promised peace a union with his highness and a princess would bring. I cannot offer anything in that regard. I can only offer what I do have. I was taught well beyond what normal education is for both women and noblemen. I was taught first because my mother would not have me be a victim to ignorance, then because I was to teach the young princess of my home kingdom. My brain, and my heart are the only things I can offer your kingdom. I would use them to help your son and to try and help your kingdom thrive a prosper within my ability. A princess may know how to do these things, perhaps even better than I. But a kingdom prospers even more when their royals are happy. To be happily married is a privilege many royals would not dream of having.” You couldn’t think of what to say next and looked back up at Jungkook. He was gazing at you with so much warmth and love, that you felt yourself relaxing a little. “I will not lie to you, I did not think I could love him when we first met. But I do now. And I would not have dared to come here, unless he and his highness, Prince Hoseok, had not assured me that I…” You blinked, throat closing on you as you tried to think of the proper words. Jungkook’s hand rested lightly on your back. You closed your eyes as the words ran dry. “You may make the arrangements for the wedding,” The King said. “My dear!” “No, I am convinced. She is correct. Look how the kingdom to the east withered with that arranged marriage, let our boy be happy, let this woman help him improve the conditions for our people. We always brought the kingdom more prosperity by working together, did we not? Let them marry. Hoseok will have to settle down eventually and he’s likely to give us a strategic marriage. We’re at peace with four of our neighboring countries. Times are good.” You looked up in astonishment. Jungkook grinned. “Thank you, father.” His mother’s nose crinkled. “Fine. But if there are any issues, don’t complain to me. And I want her to go through extra ettiquette training.” “I’m sure she’ll pass the training just fine,” hoseok said. You dropped a curtsy before you were practically dragged out of the room by Jungkook. He led you down some back halls and to a private room after a flight of stairs. You looked up at him. “Your father had no protestations, but you never mentioned your mother.” You hit his arm. He kissed you on the lips, firm and sweet and full of relief and happiness. “Because I knew that father would reason with her. She’ll come round once she realizes how perfect you are for me.” “We’re getting married,” You whispered. He nodded with a big smile. “And we’ll live happily together. Yes?” “We’ll try,” You agreed, kissing him. Your prince. There was still much to do, and many trials to go through, but you knew that he wouldn’t ever let you go now. “I love you.” He kissed your forehead. “I love you, my princess.”

—–

Part 3 

Masterlist ~ Jungkook Masterpost

[jessiohhh]

One of my best friends @ahufflepuffhobbit tagged me in this long list of things to help us get to know each other, and I’m just so glad to learn more things about her! So I’m going to tag @the-angry-pixie, @s-s-georgie, and @purebloodqueen (and anyone else who wants to join in!) with no pressure to these three to actually complete this! It’s long.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I’m a pen snob. I prefer black G2 pens, but I’ll also write with blue or make notes with red on paper copies of reports and things (just so I can feel like a professional at some point in my life). I don’t mind the colors so much as I mind the pen. G2 only for my personal life (bic when I know the pens will be stolen).

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? I lived in Boston for 4 years, and I liked some parts of it. Now I live in a smaller city outside of Boston (around 100k people) and I love it here, but the art scene and the queer spaces are ample and I really like my job.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? Outside of becoming a better writer, I really want to learn how to cook better and do better food presentations so I can make a “food blog” and become famous for learning how to cook better and teaching people how to cook better.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Yes, I just do a regular regular (2 cream, 2 sugar) for coffee, but for tea I prefer honey.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? Under 5, I read The Cay with my dad and loved it. Under 8, I read Goodnight, Mr. Tom, a book about a child evacuee from London which got me started on my WWII history obsession. Under 10, I became obsessed with The Outsiders (which is still my favorite book to this day). Under 13, The Only Alien on the Planet. Under 15, Harry Potter (unfortunately, the author has ruined the series for me). Under 18, I fell in love with this book about a young teen dad, and I’ve never been able to find the book again.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? I’m totally a baths person, but no tubs are quite the right fit, so when I’m rich and famous I’m getting myself a soaker tub and I will live in that damn thing (I have dreams that my grandmother had a soaker tub--which she did--that she never used--which she didn’t--but I would sneak into her house to use her soaker tub--which unfortunately never happened. Can you tell how stressed I am by nature? I just need a soaker tub with a bath bomb and like 4 hours to myself).

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Hmm... I just want to be your average garden variety hedge witch. 

8. Paper or electronic books? Either/or. I suck at reading these days. I just don’t have the attention span. Give me a book and I’ll probably only read half regardless of electronic or paper. (#badwriter, #readmore)

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? I quite like capri leggings. They’re my typical go-to wardrobe choice. 

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I don’t feel like Jessica really fits me that much anymore, but I’m comfortable with Jess.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I would classify one of my college professors, but she just “unfriended” me on facebook because of differing viewpoints (neither are wrong, but her view of what I was saying wasn’t accurate). So I might be in the market for a new mentor.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? Sure, in some regards, I suppose. A part of me has always wanted to be “famous” but really I’d just take my 15 minute spotlight and be happy with that. I’d really like to be on one of those cooking competition shows (only a nice British TV one, not an American one), or I’d like to have fans on youtube and have a really cool youtube channel, or I’d like to be a writer with some really good books published... or even just a child development theorist. Whatever. Gimme my 15 minutes!

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Relatively, yes. I’m up to pee, to toss and turn, with nightmares. I’m someone who talks in their sleep and who thinks that their dreams are happening in the waking world--so I respond verbally to things dream characters say.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I think I’m a romantic at heart, but I have few people to express that side with.

15. Which element best represents you? My sign is water, but I’m definitely more fire.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? I don’t really have anyone that I’m afraid of being close to, but I wouldn’t mind having a datemate. Find me someone to fit that role, please.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? I think a part of me will always miss my brother, and I’m close to my mother but prefer that we have a bit of space between us (we’re too similar). I think there’s this thing where you miss things you’ve never had, because I totally miss feeling part of a close knit friend group.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I played alone as a kid a lot, and in my backyard we had a swing set that I would play on a lot. There were horses in the field beside the back yard, and a donkey in the field behind it and in the woods on the other side of the house were a bunch of feral cats. I remember swinging on the swings and hearing something make a god awful sound that I had never heard before (and it sounded really close to me) and I remember panicking and running straight for the house. My dad told his version of the story; he looked out and saw me, eyes wide as saucers, pale as a sheet, running in as fast as my little legs could carry me. 

Admittedly, this is also the house where I’m pretty sure I saw aliens peeking in my bedroom window, so was it supernatural or just an animal? I’ll never know.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I’m down to eat almost anything; I ate a baby octopus once, and didn’t really like it. It was too spicy and too chewy.

20. What are you most thankful for? The job I have; I feel incredibly supportive by my supervisor and incredibly thankful to have such wonderful families I get to support every day.

21. Do you like spicy food? I used to... and then I became too white.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? I once spoke on the phone with Hal Sparks (a friend was at a comedy show of his and called me in the middle of the night so he could say hello to me). I’ve also brushed past a few other people while in New York City or in Florida, but nothing super memorable. 

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? I try to, but then I forget for a year and then I write a page that’s like “well this has happened in the last year.” and I do that every year I keep the physical journal. Sometimes I do write down tarot interpretations and things like that as they pertain to my life at the time.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Mostly pens. Occasionally pencils, but mostly pens. 

25. What is your star sign? Cancer

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Ew. Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal?

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I want to be able to continue supporting families even after I’ve gone... through a foundation or through a child developmental theory book... we’ll see.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I enjoy reading, but I’m pretty sure I have an undiagnosed case of ADHD, and I’ve been chasing the high of going into hyperfocus ever since I was a child--I haven’t stayed up all night reading since my teens and I miss that.

29. How do you show someone you love them? I’m very much a words of affirmation sort of person, and a quality time person. Gimme a day out with a friend or someone I care about and I’ll compliment who they are as a person about 800 times, and if you give me a task to do, I’ll love you forever.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Yeah, I’m an ice cruncher.... I know it’s bad, but it’s so good.

31. What are you afraid of? I don’t have a lot of fears, but I think fear that my mom would pass unexpectedly is a big one. I don’t know how I’d get through life without her support and guidance. I also fear panic attacks (not the triggers themselves, but the panic attacks that I have every now and again).

32. What is your favourite scent? I have this incense called Opium that I love... I also love the smell right as it starts to rain, the ocean, sometimes sunny days have a really nice smell too... 

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? I don’t typically say people’s names, but if I have to address someone, I’ll usually say, “Ma’am or sir” until they tell me to call them by their first names.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I mean, honestly, I’d still be doing the same thing, but I’d be considering buying my own house and having a kid... two of the things I really want but can not afford right now.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I prefer to be in the water at the ocean as compared to a pool (the chlorine kills me), but if I’m going to swim I prefer to do that in a pool... because I don’t trust myself to swim in the ocean--I don’t have enough experience to be a confident ocean swimmer even though I’m a fairly good swimmer in general.

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? Look around to see if anyone has lost it, but then pocket it. Maybe I’d hand it off to a homeless person or someone who looks in need, but that’s me being optimistic that I’d do that.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yeah, I drove through the Pleiades meteor shower one year, and saw about 15 shooting stars in 10 minutes. I also stood on top of Mount Lee in Hollywood (where the hollywood sign sits) and saw a shooting star there. Once I was up in Maine and laying in the grass with some friends and saw a shooting star there too... you just have to be in a place that’s dark enough, and it’s likely you’ll see some flaming space trash crash into the earth.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I would like to have children to teach them, but I’m worried that won’t happen because $$ and society suck. But I really try to teach the children that I love in my life how to be a good, kind, person, and how to treat others with respect. I try to teach consent early and often. I try to teach loving yourself as you are and how you are, and that who you are is deserving of love, no matter what happens in your life. I try to teach them that they are not perfect (no one is), but that you can amend your actions and make reparations to the people you have harmed with your actions, and that even though you have made a mistake as long as you are taking steps to correct your mistake you are a good person and always worthy of love. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I already have them, but I would like more. But again... $$.

40. What can you hear now? The roomba just turned on. It’s definitely time for bed.

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my room, in my home.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Feeling unworthy of love.

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I’m not really interested anymore in going back into previous times... the past was only idealistic to white people, and people of color have had a shitty time in every era so I’m good. Take me to a time when racism is done and then we’ll talk.

44. What is your most used emoji? the crying laughing cat face

45. Describe yourself using one word. Intense.

46. What do you regret the most? I don’t know that I have a lot of regrets. I regret when people misinterpret what I mean when I say something that wasn’t explained well. I regret individuals who have exited my life that have chosen to do so of their own volition. But they aren’t things that I had a lot of control over, so I don’t regret them very much.

47. Last movie you saw? Hamilton. I quite appreciated being able to see it finally.

48. Last tv show you watched? I watch a lot of paranormal tv... just because it’s something to put on... actually I fall asleep to a lot of paranormal tv. If I were to see a ghost, I probably wouldn’t react that much because I just sleep through the weird shit they do on tv, so... what up ghost?

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. I don’t tend to invent words... I do like putting words together in new ways though and telling different stories. Maybe I’ll do that sometime.

[itsclydebitches]

I consider taking angsty prompts and turning them into absurd fluff to be a specialty of mine~ 

Wretched 

Aziraphale had always had a soft spot for children’s books. One wouldn’t think it based on the antiques and religious texts crowding up the shop, but if you took your time and wandered all the way to the back you’d find a sizable collection waiting, enhanced by the occasional plush and toy truck. They were mostly books from the mid-18th and 19th century, didactic texts with (surprise, surprise) religious bents. A Little Pretty Pocket-Book Intended for the Instruction and Amusement of Little Master Tommy and Pretty Miss Polly had been a long time favorite of his, both for the brightly colored paper it was bound in and the absurdly long title by contemporary standards.

The History of Little Goody Two-Shoes. The New England Primer. Millions of Cats. Peter Rabbit, The Secret Garden, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland...that was about as modern as Aziraphale was willing to go—for now at least—with the exception of one co-authored series from the 1990’s.

“The Bailey School Kids,” Crowley read. He flipped through one at random, eyes already skittering away from lack of interest. The cover got an amused snort though. “Dracula Doesn’t Drink Lemonade? Wouldn’t mind showing that to old Bram sometime.”

“You’re welcome to take that copy if you ever pop back downstairs.”

“Isn’t he with your lot?”

“Can’t quite recall anymore.” Aziraphale’s fingers skimmed the spines until he found the book he was looking for. With a dramatic flourish he showed off this cover too: a glowing woman performing a kick in front of four children.

Crowley’s lips twitched. “Angels Don’t Know Karate.”

“I’ll admit this one certainly doesn’t.”

“‘She’s too good to be true!’ Well they got that part right at least.”

Crowley’s admiration was rarely verbal. He preferred actions over words and when something did come tumbling out it was quickly followed by an insult for balance. You’re so clever. How can someone as clever as you be so stupid, and so forth. Thus, Aziraphale waited for the blow and instead felt his cheeks heating when all Crowley did was glance up over his glasses, eyes soft. He’d bent to get a look at the book and having him in such a, ahem, submissive position did nothing to calm Aziraphale’s racing heart.

What absurdities human bodies were. His palms had begun to sweat so badly that Aziraphale feared he’d do damage to the pages.

Yet when he dropped one hand to brush against his trousers he found it caught halfway, Crowley’s fingers ensnaring his, right at the tips. He drew Aziraphale’s knuckles to his mouth and placed a kiss there, reverent.

“Too good by far,” he murmured.

“Oh,” and Aziraphale was floundering, choking a bit, trying to put the book down and pull Crowley forward all at once until they were simply a mess of limbs and laughter. They finally succeeded and as Aziraphale bent to press his own kiss into the hollow of Crowley’s throat he forgot the reason he’d brought him over here in the first place.

I was making a joke, he thought faintly. Then Crowley took his face between his hands and Aziraphale forgot that too.

***

It came to him thirty hours later when a stray cat nearly upended itself into a drain in its attempt to get away from Crowley.

That was it. The Bailey series was missing a title: Demons Don’t Keep Pets.

“Wretched beast,” Crowley muttered and Aziraphale kindly ignored that the words were spoken in the same tone as, ‘I’m not nice’ and ‘That’s ridiculous,’ and ‘Shut up, angel.’

“We merely startled the poor thing,” Aziraphale said. He kept his eyes straight ahead.

“Shut up, angel.”

Hmm.

Spending time in the company of demons resulted in all sorts of odd, but really quite predictable outcomes. The stench of sulfur and chlorine was a given. Aziraphale had long ago ceased trying to cover up Crowley’s scent with any human-made creations and after the first couple of hundred years he’d forgotten why he’d wanted to in the first place. Minor mischief was another. Not anything planned, demons simply had a sort of... bad luck that surrounded them. Minor falls, forgotten words, and lost socks followed them everywhere. There was the expected gravitation towards warmer climates—many were cold blooded by nature—and the inevitable itch to groom one’s wings once the encountered concluded. Though that was due more to self-comparative embarrassment than anything the demons actually did.

And then there were the animals. Needless to say, creatures of Earth didn’t take kindly to demonic entities from the literal depths of hell.

Over their multi-millennium friendship (Courtship, Aziraphale silently corrected himself, experiencing a little thrill) he had seen Crowley interact with every animal imaginable. Or rather, unintentionally terrorize every animal imaginable. Cats, as established, had enough sense to get out of his way. Dogs were a little dumber, but that just resulted in shaking, whimpering, and a pungent mess on the floor. The Bentley was beloved not only for it style, but the freedom it had afforded him. Over the years Aziraphale had watched Crowley get bucked off of horses, camels, donkeys, mules, and on one memorable occasion an elephant. Though there were upsides too, of course. This particular body was quite susceptible to bug bites, though Aziraphale never needed to worry about such things when on a dusk stroll with Crowley. In decades past a visit from him had been more than enough to scare off the rats and cockroaches plaguing Aziraphale’s home. Squirrels and other rodents never bothered them while eating outside. Birds wouldn’t dare to defecate anywhere in their presence (smarter than the dogs then). It had taken a hundred years for the ducks of St. Jame’s Park to become accustomed to their routine... and even today they very obviously only ate the bread on Aziraphale’s side of the pond.

In short, there was a reason that poor unicorn had bolted the moment Crowley come on the scene.

“You’re thinking about how I’m responsible for the extinction of the unicorns, aren’t you?”

Aziraphale faltered only briefly. Uneven pavement. Such a danger. “Not at all, my dear.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Zira.”

“I am quite accomplished in the art due entirely to your influence. Now hush and enjoy the sunset.”

Crowley grumbled, but slipped his hand into Aziraphale’s when they just so happened to brush. They did enjoy the sunset while strolling back from dinner and as they did not a single mosquito, bird, or daring cat came their way.

***

Crowley would have dearly loved to have a pet.

He’d never said as much, not even at their most inebriated, but the desire was clear as day to Aziraphale. Put aside how well they knew one another; Aziraphale was, quite literally, a being meant to understand and exhibit love, someone who could feel it in all its forms. He knew that Crowley loved animals with the same surety that he knew Crowley loved children. And him. The duck obsession, the drunken worry for all the ocean’s creatures, they were just neon signs pointing to an already obvious statement.

Aziraphale had briefly thought that Dog was the answer. Who better to love a demon than a hell hound? Sadly, a visit to the Young household established that Adam had been a bit too thorough in transforming Dog into a normal dog. The puddle on the family room rug had created quite the stir.

So, with Armageddon two weeks behind them and all the freedom to do as he pleased, Aziraphale went shopping.

“Angel, when you said you’d gotten me a present...” Crowley’s mouth worked for a moment, seeming to taste a whole lot of words before rejecting all of them. “Weeellll. Kinda thought it was another stuffy old book.”

“You love when I give you stuffy old books.” Aziraphale had seen the small collection in Crowley’s apartment, as loved as anything else in that minimalist space.

“Is this a stuffy old book then?”

Crowley pointed to the box. The box moved.

“No, dear.”

In truth Crowley already knew what was inside. He could no doubt smell it, but he went through the motions of surprise all the same. Aziraphale watched how hard he swallowed and the shake in his hands as he pulled back the flaps.

“...You got me a snake,” he said and Aziraphale smiled at how wet his voice had gotten.

Specifically, Aziraphale had gotten him an Eastern Hognose Snake, black with a reddish tint to match Crowley’s hair. Docile and small, the little dear had no sooner tasted the air then it was making a beeline for Crowley, around his wrist and up onto his shoulder.

He’d been right. The curse didn’t extend to one’s own species.

“I’m surprised you never got one for yourself,” Aziraphale said. He watched as Crowley ran two fingers delicately over the scales, entranced. A soft, subconscious hiss was emanating each time he breathed. “It’s rather the perfect pick for you.”

“Way to toot your own horn. But nah, just... snakes. Not very cute, are they? Not the sort of thing people want in their home.” Crowley used his free hand to sit his sunglasses more firmly onto his face and... oh.

Oh.

Aziraphale felt something in his chest tighten. He stepped forward and removed those glasses, despite the protest.

“I think they’re positively adorable,” and a laugh bubbled out of Aziraphale as Crowley spluttered. The tension in his shoulders released though and the little Hognose ended up better settled between them. “A snake will make a wonderful addition to this home, rest assured. You’ll have to give him a name.”

“Her,” Crowley croaked.

“Her then.”

“Got any suggestions?”

“Not just yet.” Stepping closer Aziraphale laid his head on Crowley’s shoulder, eye-to-eye with their little lady. He wasn’t at all scared though. Like with the snake above him, Aziraphale knew he was perfectly safe. “I hear these lovelies play dead when feeling threatened, so the name must be something suitably dramatic. You see? You’re perfect for one another.”

“Shut it, angel.”

“And yes, there’s a collection of stuffy old books in the second box. You must read up on how to properly care for her. You don’t really think I’d pass up the opportunity to—”

“Somebody give me strength do you ever shut up?”

Crowley finally decided that the best way to achieve silence was to get it himself, which was precisely why Aziraphale blathered on in the first place. Kissing one snake while another watched wasn’t precisely what one would consider angel-like behavior.

Although, given that Aziraphale was an angel and here they were, perhaps it wasn’t so far off the mark after all.

[snowbellewells]

Face to Face in the Broad Daylight: Prologue

(Here we have a sequel to my werewolf, alternate season two and beyond fic from last year’s CSSNS. This one partially exists just because I wanted to revisit these couples and enjoy a bit more of their fluffy happily ever afters. However, we may also see them get into some new surprises and challenges, and of course we need to see if Rumplestiltskin is still under control or back to his usual scheming and plotting. I hope you will enjoy.  I’m so glad to be part of this event again, and this is just the opening chapter. I hope to update once a week until it’s finished.)

Thank you SO MUCH to @branlovestowrite for the amazing story banner, which I just loved. All four of our main characters look so happy and in love, which just makes me grin looking at it.

Tagging: @cssns @kmomof4 @hollyethecurious @searchingwardrobes @laschatzi @spartanguard @revanmeetra87 @teamhook @darkcolinodonorgasm @resident-of-storybrooke @winterbaby89 @ilovemesomekillianjones @bmbbcs4evr @jennjenn615 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @let-it-raines @therooksshiningknight 

If you missed last year’s story, to which this is a sequel, you can find it here: ff.net, AO3

“Face to Face in the Broad Daylight”

by: @snowbellewells

~~ prologue: altogether in one place

As a cooling breeze blew in off the water of the harbor to combat the bright heat of an early May afternoon, Killian Jones smiled easily, enjoying the trace of air over his neck and ruffling his dark hair as he headed back up the street from the docks toward the center of town. It was a perfect day for the celebration he was on his way to attend, planning to meet Emma and Henry at the pretty little two bedroom cottage not far from the harbor that they moved into some weeks past, before the three of them walked the rest of the way to Granny’s together. The rest of their family and several friends were doubtless already gathering at the diner’s outdoor tables for the planned picnic. It was Mother’s Day, and the first which Emma would be able to spend with her mother, and with her boy as well. Killian smiled fondly at the tentative joy mixed with nervous anticipation on his love’s face as they’d spoken of it laying side-by-side that very morning. His heart had warmed right along with dawn’s first rays peeking through the curtains, glad that Emma could have her loved ones surrounding her, as she always should have. Though his own mother had been gone so long that he only retained the barest memories of a gentle voice singing to him and the twinkle in kind, loving eyes, he still felt not a fiber of his being to be jealous or begrudging of the wealth of love and belonging his lady had found. Emma deserved it all, and more besides.

It helped, he admitted to himself as he neared the front walk, their yard surrounded by white picket fence that he could now see Emma leaning on casually with Henry at her side, that he too had been welcomed into the fold gladly. With the wolf born inside him, his horribly checkered and painful history, and how long he had wandered alone in the world, Killian could never have imagined being accepted as a part of something so good, nor feeling that he mattered to others again. Despite his stunned disbelief, however, he could only continue to be grateful.

As he drew nearer, Henry caught sight of him and waved enthusiastically, a wide grin stretching across his face. “Hey, Killian!” the youth called out. “Are you ready for this?”

“Aye, lad, of course,” he answered with a chuckle, smiling to Emma as well, his heart swelling still further at the blush which rose on her cheeks as he waggled his eyebrows playfully. He turned his attention back to Henry quickly, not wanting the young man to feel dismissed, but instead leaning forward to whisper secretively to Henry, “We wouldn’t want to miss your grandma’s famed cherry chess pie, now would we?”

Henry agreed emphatically with Killian’s winking query, then scampered on ahead of them as Killian pulled Emma into a quick embrace while she stretched up to press a chaste kiss to his lips before they joined hands and followed her son the rest of the way to Granny’s before they were late.

Not many minutes later they were turning into the front seating area of the diner, entering under the arch and being greeted from all sides by family and friends. Ruby bounded over to gleefully wrap Emma in an exuberant hug, whispering in his love’s ear that she wanted to hear what they’d been up to at the new house in a blatant enough way to have the blond blushing once again. Killian followed Henry’s urging over to his grandparents’ table, shaking David’s hand and easing into conversation with Emma’s father thankfully.

He liked the people gathered around him very much, but so often in the past he had kept to the shadows, on the outskirts of society, either due to prejudice and ostracism or his own attempts to insure others’ safety from the beast within him. Having at last found his home in Storybrooke, and also a peace within himself that he had rarely known, Killian felt as stable as he had ever been in both parts of himself. His wolf had room and freedom to run, even a pack of sorts with Ruby and Graham nearby, and he rarely feared the howling need to break free he had sought to hide or contain in his youth and throughout his years of bitter, aimless wandering.  All that being true, he still sometimes preferred to ease into larger groups one person at a time. Once Emma’s slightly overprotective and traditional father had gotten to know him, Killian found the man quite easy to talk to and good company, so he naturally went to speak with him first.

Their friendship hadn’t taken long to develop once things had settled down around the holidays, some six months ago, after Regina, Cora, and Rumplestiltskin’s defeat. Both David and Killian served as reinforcements to the sheriff’s department when needed (though in sleepy, calm Storybrooke they rarely were) and so had spent many long afternoons when there were no calls sharing long chats, wadded up paper ball free throw contests in the desk trash cans, endless one-upping games of darts, and - if they grew truly desperate - filing of the somehow never ending stacks of paperwork. Their little town had been free of most trouble beyond cats in trees and neighboring fairy tale characters’ squabbles since Thanksgiving. None of them had forgotten that Gold was still simmering impotently in his shop (surely wanting revenge, but hands tied by the fact that his dagger forbade it, thanks to Emma’s brilliance).  In fact, the citizens were enjoying an everyday normality most of them had never been able to experience before - in either this realm or the Enchanted Forest.

So, though there was often hardly enough work to keep one person busy, Graham had remained Sheriff, and kept Emma on as his deputy. Killian’s eyes found his sandy-haired fellow wolf amidst the happy crowd of partygoers, attentively leaning to whisper something in Belle’s ear where she sat talking to Granny Lucas herself, along with Nova, Leroy, Bashful, and Doc. The Sheriff was clearly happy to watch over his girlfriend, glad just to see her in high spirits, having brought her a drink and standing behind her chair to listen and look on. Graham had always been a good and competent lawman, but now that he was completely free to act of his own will and as he saw fit, it became even more clear just how kind, compassionate, and worthy a man he was. He no longer had to glance over his shoulder at each turn, fearing retribution for his choices. The townspeople liked and trusted him even more than they had before, seeing how dedicated he was to their causes and thorough in handling problems immediately and lawfully for the good of all to the best of his ability.

Watching just a moment longer, Killian saw Belle pause in her conversation, looking up over her shoulder at Graham with an adoring expression in her eyes, resting her hand over his where he had placed it on her shoulder. Something passed between them wordlessly, so slight that it went unnoticed by most around them, but to Kilian’s honed and heightened senses, it sent almost a frisson of intense feeling all the way across the space to where he stood. He didn’t know what it meant, but he found himself more than a little curious, and happy for his friends whatever the cause of their joy.

His attention was drawn back to his own immediate circle when David threw his head back in a booming burst of laughter as Henry finished relating how Killian had recently taken he, his mom, and his friends Grace, Nicholas and Ava out fishing and swimming on the Jolly. It wasn’t the first time Killian had dropped anchor in the harbor where the preteens could dive off the bow and bob in the waves to cool off while he and Emma sat in the sun watching over them and talking, but what had gotten such a reaction from his grandpa was the mental image of Ava’s disastrous practice at casting and somehow catching her hook in Grace’s hair. The ensuing noisy melee had caused quite a commotion until they’d gotten Grace free from the painful tangle, reassured Ava that they all knew it was an accident and gotten back to catching fish rather than each other.

As the afternoon wore on, Killian relaxed into the atmosphere of easy camaraderie around him, graciously complimenting his hostess on the lightness of her dinner rolls and the fine quality of her rum - to which he earned a sniff of begrudging thanks but also a sidelong smile. He exchanged a few words with Belle on the last book she had recommended to him and what he thought of it so far, and though she carried an obvious glow of satisfaction and practically radiated good humor, he was no closer to the reason that it seemed so especially prominent today, even after conversing with her. He exchanged pleasantries with Graham, and let Henry drag him into a ridiculous game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey that Snow had organized to hilarious results with the assorted dwarves’ poor aim and inebriated states by that hour of the waning day.

Despite what else he was doing however, his eyes were continually drawn back to Emma wherever she was. There was the simple fact that he couldn’t help but marvel at her beauty, for one thing. Her golden hair stood out like a beacon in any gathering, this one no exception, and the very sight of those flowing waves cascading down her back against the red leather of her favorite jacket made his hand itch to brush through its silky softness.  Her long, lean form, her throaty chuckle, and the sparkle in her jade green eyes all made hunger rise in him that had him aching to pull her out of the party and into the first empty room he could find. A long life of practice made him able to rein in his desires, but it certainly didn’t slake them in the least.

He remembered too that it was nearing the full moon, which made all his more canine traits closer to the surface. As intensely protective as he would have been anyway, because he loved her, the animal instinct within demanded he be aware of his mate and her safety at all times. Especially when they were out in the open and not alone, whether or not those with them were friends and the gathering innocent. There was possessiveness as well that he could contain, but not vanquish completely. Between those two impulses warring inside his average human faćade, Killian was rather proud of himself for managing to eventually retreat to a corner table with his drink, lean back in a chair and observe the goings on around him with at least the air of calm.

Still, needless to say, he was relieved when the festivities did begin to break up an hour or so later. Many called out a friendly goodbye to him, and he waved back jovially to them.  Some, like David, came over to say ‘good night’ and make plans for when they’d get together next. When Emma finally came up to him with an easy smile and an outstretched hand, asking him if he was ready to head home for the night with a teasing tilt of her head and playful “Captain?” he was on his feet in a moment. With Henry in tow, they headed back toward their house on the shore as the stars came out above.

A deep sense of satisfaction warmed Killian once again at the very idea that this could be his life, while Emma leaned into his side as they walked and Henry pointed out the various constellations that he had learned to recognize through Killian’s tutelage. It was more happiness than he once could have imagined having in his life on a regular basis. In a few days he would need to prepare for shifting about three nights in a row, as was his monthly due, but for tonight, he could sense it was still safely far enough off to take his time seeing the two most important people in his life home safely and enjoy that they saw him as one of their own.

Once they reached the front gate, Henry hurried on up the walk and into the house with a “See you tomorrow!” for his mom’s boyfriend. Alone at long last, Emma turned to him, her face tilted up to his with a devious glimmer in her expression. Only moments ago, he wouldn’t have imagined things could get much better, but when she ran her hands up his torso to rest on his chest and whispered invitingly, “Wanna come in for a nightcap, Sailor?” she blew his mind all over again. 

A couple of drinks, an entire bowl of popcorn and a movie later, they were cuddled together on the couch in Emma’s living room, making out like two teenagers.  Killian didn’t leave his love’s arms again until the next day dawned. Slipping out to his boat before Henry could walk up and begin scavenging through the cupboards for his breakfast cereal, Killian stooped to place a kiss on Emma’s groggy forehead as she mumbled a sleepy farewell. No one else in the house was stirring as the former pirate headed away down the walk, and he was too cheerful and relaxed to be on his guard, so the eyes watching his every move from the shadows as he moved toward the docks, went unnoticed…

~~***~~***~~

Far removed from the cheerfulness and revelry of the rest of the town and their holiday celebrations, Mr. Gold was holed up in the dim, shrouded back room of his shop, scowling silently at a clouded orb with its contents swirling inside. He hadn’t bothered to unlock or open his shop doors today, not wanting to see the idiotic smiles of the townsfolk, nor to waste effort pasting on a smile and haggling to make sales that mattered little to him, all things considered. No, all that mattered now was possessing the one item which could free him of the Savior’s binding order stoppering his Dark One powers to set things right. He would be loosed of her interfering magical hold; it was merely a matter of tracing the artifact to its hiding place and summoning an accomplice he knew was powerful enough to aid him in the ritual needed to slip the noose of his Dagger’s control, and therefore Miss Swan’s meddling command.

All the pieces were in place; once the crystal showed him where his former compatriot could be found, he would set the ball rolling.  He would make Belle see sense, return her to her place by his side, where she clearly belonged. That Sheriff who had dared to try taking his place in Belle’s affections would rue ever having his heart put back in his chest. And that wretched cur ...that wolf he had nearly finished off before - and the woman who had prevented it, who had the audacity to tangle with him and think she could defeat the Dark One - both of them would pay, once and for all.