piermanwalter

[piermanwalter]

"This is Ningbo. He's a firetruck."

[piermanwalter]

my entire body hurts i'm sobbing so bad over this holy shit

[piermanwalter]

While wandering around the neighborhood, I found a few people setting up a 100-foot-long illegal rope swing attached to a giant bridge over a ravine. I rode it three times. These people pose as a swingers' club on Facebook to notify when they have the literal swing set up, inadvertently disappointing countless metaphorical swingers by responding to all location requests with "You need to find us ;)".

[piermanwalter]

Ixobrychus sinensis [ヨシゴイ,Yellow bittern]

大きなハスの葉に乗っかり雄叫び😊

[piermanwalter]

Yeah, so there's a feral girldad out and about and my boywife is too scared of her scent trail to leave his enclosure. You're SO right- I SHOULD euthanise him.

Drake could have won the beef if he made The Fart Part Sex instead of The Heart Part Six.

Breaking the bed needs to be retired as a rubric of sex intensity because all new beds are made of particle board and all old beds are being eaten by worms and mold.

Having an excellent time going to online sex toy pages, searching by contradictory tags like "Glass" and "Inflatable", imagining what horrific contraption could possibly contain them, and feeling relieved when there's no results.

Excellent Posts I Refuse to Make

I have cultivated a rather formal and decorous presence online, so it would be unfitting to post these here. If you have a platform these posts can succeed on, feel free to post as if they were your own.

Mr. Squidward if you don't replace me IUD before me customers arrive, YOU'RE FIRED!!!

Yea, I am the sole apothecary at Ye Olde Fantasy Fetish Town. Year by year Sex Pillory Spring Solstice Festival leaves more revellers sundered by vile poxes than I can treat, and so perish in droves. 'Twere not for crowds of travellers seeking to be collared in Sex Pillories, our town would surely be dead as Sodom and Gomorrah.

Some hae meat and canna beat And some wad beat that want it But we hae meat and we can beat And sae the Lord be thankit

Under the Woke Regime, all instances of Catherine the Great horse sex insinuations will be removed from the history curriculum and replaced with Robert E. Lee horse sex insinuations.

[piermanwalter]

Fishs cross the road.

Anabas is a genus of climbing gouramies native to southern and eastern Asia.

[piermanwalter]

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

[piermanwalter]

Does this summer heat make you feel like a greater naked bat (Cheiromeles torquatus)? Glands in its neck produce unpleasant-smelling, oily secretions—the scent of which has been compared to “stale socks drenched in engine oil.” Also known as the naked bulldog bat, this mostly hairless mammal can be found in parts of Southeast Asia, including Sumatra, Java, Borneo, and the Philippines. It typically lives in large groups, and colonies of up to 20,000 individuals have been observed.

Photo: Vatcharavee Sriprasertsil, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist 

[piermanwalter]

My first date who, unbeknownst to me, is cursed to have an isekai adventure condensed into a single second of unconsciousness whenever they do something creepy, waits until I go to the bathroom to roofie my drink, gets consequentially isekaied as a steampunk fantasy WWI telegraph operator, dies 30 years later in an airship crash, then comes back to reality, when confronted with a tantalizing unattended drink, immediately chugs it before its owner returns, and subsequently passes out.

[piermanwalter]

I had a dream Nintendo made another Donkey Kong show, but this time the 3DCG animation was amazing. In one episode where the main plot was Kong and krew hanging out on a beach, I could find at least nine separate stories play out and intersect simultaneously in the background.

As a consequence of this incredible visual and narrative density, each episode was only 5 minutes long, but the show still aired in half-hour segments. The DK Rap credits theme was extended to fill the rest of the runtime with “He has no future. He has no past. Endless Kong will live to see your last.” repeating over and over.

I think at one point, Endless Kong was acknowledged as the cameraman and the show was from his perspective, but he was never shown on camera and otherwise had no impact on events.

[piermanwalter]

His wrath….disgusts me

BUT HIS DETERMINATION AND SPIRIT BLESSES ME

[piermanwalter]

A king crab feeding. Filmed in Norway. From Sea in Motion - The Unknown North Sea (2023).

[piermanwalter]

Ever feel like a fish out of water? Meet the giant mudskipper (Periophthalmodon schlosseri). Believe it or not, this fish needs to breathe air and spends a decent amount of time on land! Found on the muddy shores of mangroves in parts of Southeast Asia, it uses its pectoral fins to “skip” or “walk” across mudflats.

Photo: mysorekid, CC BY-NC-SA 4.0, iNaturalist 

[piermanwalter]

...Where did he get this?

[piermanwalter]

Paco won but not solely under his own power which means no boxing this week but I should try to beat my lat pulldown personal record. Surely nothing bad will happen.

The first time thinking about Paco Laburantes motivated me to go extra hard in the boxing gym, I agreed to a fight with an EMT and got my ass beat, and the second time, I bruised my knuckles on the heavy bag and lost the use of the same part of my hand as Paco did, so if Paco dies in Chapter 27, I'll interpret that as a sign that I should maybe calm down.

[piermanwalter]

baby secretary bird is being restrained after previous slopcidents (slopping incidents)