#only tfa so i can’t tell you if this remains accurate

[phoenixkaptain]

I think what we all miss in philosophical discussions about whether the Jedi were right or wrong is that Star Wars (the first six) as a whole is built on the idea that doing things out of fear, whether that be fear for oneself or fear for others, leads to bad things happening.

Anakin searching for his mother was based on fear: Anakin killed an entire village of Tusken Raiders.

Luke left in the middle of Jedi training out of fear for his friends: Luke got his hand cut off.

That sort of thing. In the fiction of the movies, acting on fear is bad, but this is especially highlighted in the prequel trilogy.

One thing I think of, whenever I think of the prequels, is that the Jedi High Council WAS afraid. They couldn’t feel the Force, everything was murky, Qui-Gon showed up with a weird Force kid, and the Sith are possibly back. They’re scared, and that’s okay! Fear isn’t actually the problem! The problem is when you make decisions based on that fear, when you ignore your brain to react on base animal instincts.

That’s the whole point of the Jedi, I think. Your base animal instincts shouldn’t control you. Because you aren’t fighting on instinct, you’re fighting with assistance from the Force.

The Jedi choose to join the war based off of fear, they agree to help the Senate more off of fear, they are no longer third-party made to assist with the people of the galaxy.

One thing to remember is that the Jedi Order was okay with people not following rules. Qui-Gon constantly broke rules, but he only started to get in trouble for it, actual legitimate trouble, during the Phantom Menace era.

Qui-Gon is admittedly all we really have to base this assertion on, especially in current canon, but it can be reasonably assumed that the Jedi accepted Grey Jedi, middle-ground Jedi, in the Order because why wouldn’t they? There was no Sith around! The problem was when Jedi went too far, but most of them didn’t and the Council was probably like “cool, congrats, good work.” It’s only when the Sith are “back” that the Jedi panic and start making the rules stricter. And they make the rules stricter out of fear!

I love the Jedi. I love that, above all else, they are people. They have worries, they have fears, they feel love; they’re just people. The difference is that they don’t allow these emotions to guide them. They let their duty to the Force and to each other and to the Galaxy guide them, instead. They do inherently stupid, reckless things because it honestly seems a bit impossible not to be a Jedi who does stupid, reckless things. But, more than that, they do these things out of an inherent passion for the people they’re doing it all for.

Because that’s really the point of the Jedi! To have passion that’s outward, instead of passion that’s inward.

(I know they say no passion or whatever but look me in the eye and tell me that Yoda isn’t passionate about teaching. You would be lying! Yoda uses fucking everything as a teaching opportunity, that man loves teaching more than he loves stew of dubious origin, he is passionate, do not even try to convince me otherwise you cannot)

But really, what the Jedi did wrong was that they very literally lost their faith in the Force.

Hear me out. This sounds very religious but I’m pretty sure the Force is supposed to be an allegory for God and anyway this is a random twenty-two-year laying on a bed trying to put into words the thoughts that are swirling impatiently around my head, like come on, give me a break, don’t take this too seriously, this is my first and last draft okay I’m tired-

This is me leaning a bit into literal interpretation of words, hold on tight.

Qui-Gon becomes part of the Force because he really, truly, honestly did his best to perform all actions in the name of the Force. Which, I have to remind you, does not include visions of the future because Qui-Gon does not have visions. Qui-Gon believes that something is what the Force wants him to do and so he does it. He is perhaps the most loyal Jedi Knight to the Force that we’ve ever seen, especially since he occasionally contradicts himself because the Force changed its mind (I assume). He is the man who is very sincere when he says “the Force wills it” and I love and hate him in equal measure, just like the Jedi Council.

Because on one hand, yes! Qui-Gon is following their lessons so well! Qui-Gon is doing the equivalent of keeping his eyes shut and letting the Force lead him around! That’s what the Jedi want, for their members to be so attuned to the Force that they are never in doubt of what to do! Yay!

But, on the other hand, this means that Qui-Gon actively goes against other Jedi because Qui-Gon is doing what the Force tells him to do in that moment. He isn’t acting in response to a vision of the future, he is acting as someone who has a list of instructions that only gains a new instruction when the prior has been completed. So, some Jedi will try to react accordingly to visions, while the Force is trying to get Qui-Gon to act in the opposite manner, leading to some discordance.

However, Qui-Gon doesn’t actually ever get into all that much trouble, honestly. Which means that they inherently believe him when he says he was willed to do something by the Force. And they trust the Force, even if that means they also have to trust Qui-Gon Jinn.

The Jedi don’t listen to the Force, is what I’m saying, or else they would never be in contradiction with Qui-Gon.

I think the Force shows visions more as a “Look. This is what will happen if you don’t listen to me.” So the Jedi who have visions are supposed to share those and the Jedi who have strong inclinations from the Force can lead them on how to act as the Force requests and it’s a co-existence that’s good, in my opinion, if I’m right.

But, the Jedi stopped doing that. They don’t listen to the Force, they just listen to the things they see in their visions, which inevitably makes those visions come true, you’d think they’d have learned by now-

Is this a very religion sort of view of it? Yes. Do I think that we aren’t supposed to view the Jedi as religious? Yeah. Do I think that nothing about them is based in religion? Of course I think everything about them is based in religion! “Force” as a word is used as the equivalent to the word “God!” “May the Force be with you” is literally just the Star Wars version of “Godspeed” like come on, the Force is so clearly an allegory it isn’t even funny.

All this to say, I think the title “Return of the Jedi” has multiple meanings, as all of the films do, and I think one of them is that Luke puts his faith in the Force. He saw a vision of himself being Darth Vader, but instead of trying to prevent that, he decided “Something tells me my dad still has good in him, so I’m gonna go pull out the good in him.” Luke listens to the Force, even if he doesn’t know that’s what he’s doing, and that’s what the Force has been waiting literal decades for.

I guess we don’t know what the Force told Obi-Wan or Yoda to do, but I think we can reasonably assume that it tried really hard to get them to help people. Like, maybe it gave Obi-Wan a pass because Obi-Wan was looking after a young Force-sensitive, but there’s no way Yoda got one. Jedi seem to be urged to help others above all else by the Force. It wants them to help people, it wants them to save people, it wants the citizens of the galaxy to have improved lives because of the Jedi. That’s the purpose, that’s why Jedi all formed an Order, so they could more easily go save people like the Force wants them to do.

The fact that Yoda and Obi-Wan were both in hiding suggests that they went against the inherent instruction of the Force. Yes, Jedi being alive is important, but look at all the Jedi who somehow lived while also doing so secretly and pretending not to be Jedi so they weren’t murdered. It was difficult, but certainly not impossible.

I think hiding isn’t what the Force wants. The Force wants direct action, for Jedi to step in and change things however they can, and the Jedi didn’t do that for a long time.

So, when the Jedi “return,” it’s more than in just a physical or metaphorical sense, I think it’s also in allegorically theological sense. Because Luke is listening to the Force. More than that, Leia is listening to the Force. The Jedi have returned.

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Rebirth

Chapter 1: Flowers In The Window

Summary: Steven Grant Rogers, the dumb kid who was always too stubborn to run away from a fight, was never gonna allow a bunch of no-good low-lives to hassle a dame in the street, even if it was going to lead to him getting his ass kicked. For once, however, the ass kicking has an upside as the dame in question seemed particularly grateful, a fact she displays a few days later at the Stark Expo.

But it wasn’t the only encounter that fateful night that seemed set to change his life when Dr Erskine throws him a bone, meaning Steve can finally do the one thing he’s been desperate to do for years.

Join the army.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Nothing much… Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N:  So here it is…my take on what would have gone down so to speak should Katie have been part of the CA: TFA timeline and my contribution of sorts to the CATF 10 Year Anniversary Challenge. I’ll be trying to keep this fic as accurate to the time period and the movie as possible, just like with the other SS fics.  I really hope you enjoy this, there will be some creative license because, let’s face it, what is Fan Fic other than self-indulgence?

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

SSR Masterlist // Main Masterlist

June 1943

It started just the same as any normal Friday morning for Steven Grant Rogers. He unlocked the back of the Grocery Store on the corner of Berry Street in Brooklyn, using the entrance down the alley way reserved for staff. Once inside, he grabbed his beige coloured linen apron off the hook and smiled at the items he had to work with today. Fridays were always a treat as they took the rare delivery of freshly cut flowers ready to be sold for the weekend. This week there were boxes of bright white gardenias with their waxy petals and shiny, leathery dark green leaves, bunches of bright purple heliotrope which always reminded him of one of his mother’s scarves, and plenty of white, blue and purple asters. Steve bent down to take in the strong, vibrant fragrance of the gardenias, closing his eyes. It was easy to imagine he was in some garden somewhere, or even the middle of central park…not some little shop in Williamsberg.

“Don’t be inhaling enough of that to set your asthma off!” Mr Tromley, a kindly faced, portly man in his fifties greeted, and Steve turned to look at him, smiling a little shyly.

“I won’t Mr T,” he assured him, “they’re just so darn pretty…”

“Well set yourself a few aside.” Mr Tromley smiled, “you can take them home and sketch them.”

“Oh, I couldn’t.” Steve protested, the way he always did when Mr Tromley tried to slip him something for free be it scraps of meat he couldn’t sell from the counter that would be given to dogs, bread that wasn’t as soft as it had been in the morning and would be fed to the birds, milk that was going to turn, cheese that was slightly past its best. Mr Tromley ignored all his protests though, usually threatening to sack Steve if he didn’t take it. The man knew what it was like to come from a hard background, which was part of the reason he’d taken a shine to that sickly, twenty-two year old orphan with a degree in fine arts that had come begging for a job some three years ago. He couldn’t pay him much but he could do other things to make sure he got by.

“Well if you don’t take ‘em Steve they’ll just end up withering and a-dyin’, so reckon you’d be doin’ em a kindness.” Mr Tromley shrugged “Now, my Ada has some coffee going, you want a cup before we open the doors?”

Steve glanced at the clock above the counter, more out of habit than anything as he knew full well that he arrived with an hour to go.

“Mr T that’d be swell.” He smiled.

“Okay, you get started and I’ll fetch it down.”

Steve began in the usual way, pulling some simple bouquets together, varying in size and price, ready for the busy men to pick up on their way home from work, a nice present for their dame’s for the weekend. Once the stalks and lower foliage were trimmed and stripped, he fastened and tied them in simple brown waxy paper using plain brown string. Steve always insisted on using plain wrapping as anything else would detract from the beauty of the flowers. He placed the finished bouquets into one of the green buckets of water Mr Tromley fetched from the back, before he then carefully and delicately trimmed down the remaining flowers before placing them loose in their own buckets according to type, ready for the ladies, and occasional gentleman, who had the time and desire to create their own bunches.

Impeccably organised, as ever, Steve finished his work fifteen minutes before the store was due to open. He then set about helping Mr Tromley as they arranged the buckets outside the shop window on the sidewalk, before they set up the other stalls of seasonal vegetables. There wasn’t much fruit to go by at the moment, but that was a sign of the times really. But what they did have, namely a selection of apples and oranges, they set those out ready too. Once that was done, Mr Tromley handed Steve a thick wedge of fresh bread which had been delivered that morning from the local bakery, along with some of his wife’s home-made jam which was sold from their shop. Steve took his breakfast with a mumbled thanks, averse to taking the daily handouts as ever, and Mr Tromley sighed.

“Steve, when are you going to realise that a piece of bread and jam for breakfast ain’t gonna bankrupt me?”

“I just don’t want to appear to take advantage, that’s all.” “Ah quit it.” Tromley waved his hand, shaking his head “If I didn’t want you to take advantage of it, I wouldn’t offer it would I? Now, eat that and get behind the counter.”

The morning passed much the same as they always did. A flurry of activity at opening, a steady stream of locals and regulars through to the usual peak of activity just before lunch. Like clockwork, Mr Tromley closed the doors bang on midday for an hour and Steve gathered his sketchbook along with the brown paper bag which contained his cheese and bread, and headed outside into the sun. At Mr Tromley’s instruction he selected an apple from the display and crossed the road avoiding the yellow cabs and cyclists and trams, taking up seat on the bench which sat directly opposite the shop front.  He chewed his lunch, washed it down with the tin bottle of lemonade that Mrs Tromley had filled for him earlier, and then once he had finished his apple he tossed the core over to a pigeon who instantly began pecking at it. He then untucked the pencil that was behind his ear, opened his sketchbook and resumed the detailed landscapes he was doing of the buildings surrounding the shop front. Drawing was his escape, something he did any chance he got. He dreamed one day of travelling the world, drawing all the different sights he could, but that was out of the question. Well, until he finally got into the army. With four failed attempts under his belt already, most men would have given up but not Steven Rogers. Stubborn, tenacious and plucky to a fault, he was already planning his next attempt at enlisting, this time he was going to hail from New Jersey. Well, as good a place as any.  

Steve glanced up, checking the detail of the window to the cobblers next door, and that was when he saw her, just walking down the sidewalk. She wore a red high-collared, cap sleeved tea-dress which flared out slightly from her hips and finished just below her knee. It was cinched in at the waist with a black belt, and was detailed round the hem and sleeve edges with pretty white lace. On her feet she wore a pair of simple, elegant black block heel courts with a T-bar buckle. Her hair was a silky, shiny chestnut which hung around her face in bouncy waves and she had a soft, gentle profile with high cheekbones, slightly flushed cheeks and ruby lips. She stopped outside the shop, examining the flowers with a smile, and then she looked up at the shop door and saw the CLOSED sign in the window. She can’t be from around here, Steve thought to himself, everyone in the neighbourhood knew when Tromley closed his doors and opened them, you could set your watch by it. Still, she hung around, softly picking up a gardenia and holding it to her nose, smiling to herself as she inhaled.

Steve found the innocent act breath-taking. He felt a little, well, shameful in a way, to be watching her so, intruding on what was clearly a private moment but he couldn’t help it. She was beautiful, grace personified, and he felt a little sad as she replaced the flower, gave the buckets one last look, before she continued on her way. Steve sighed, wishing to God that the shop had been open, it would have given him an excuse to maybe see her a little more closely. Perhaps talk to her. Or not as the case maybe, Bucky was always telling him how useless he was when it came to striking up conversations with ladies. But, for now, he had to settle for watching her walk away. Only he wasn’t the only one.

“Hey pretty thing…” Steve heard a voice and turned to his left where a group of men, most likely in their late teens or early twenties, had spotted her. As Steve watched he saw one of them push himself off the lamppost he’d been leaning on and cross the street towards her. The lady stopped, looking at him with her eyebrow raised. He spoke to her again, Steve couldn’t hear the conversation but a smile tugged at his lips as the lady looked the boy up and down, disdain etched all over her pretty face before she shook her head and laughed. She made to move past the kid but he reached out and grabbed her arm.

And Steve just couldn’t help himself.

“Hey!” He called, jumping up and hurrying across the street. “Let the lady go.”

“Back off, this has nothing to do with you.” The man rounded on him, looking at him before he snorted at Steve’s stature. “Besides, what you gonna do about it anyway? Runt.”

Steve took a deep breath, he was used to people looking down their noses at him, both figuratively and literally. That was part and parcel of being only five foot four inches tall. He also knew that at hundred pound give or take, he didn’t cut a formidable figure either, but he was damned if he was going to let this bully manhandle a dame in the middle of the street.

The woman wrenched her arm away from the man’s grip and glared at him, furious green eyes bored into his as she snorted and looked the guy up and down. “He’s clearly twice the gentleman you’ll ever be. Didn’t your mother ever teach you basic, good manners jack ass?”

“What did you just say?” a sudden darkness crossed the man’s face as he looked down at the woman who stood, un-yielding, clutching her purse as it hung around her shoulder.

“You heard me, well unless you’re deaf as well as ugly.” She shrugged slightly. At that Steve really couldn’t hold his face straight anymore and he felt the side of his lips curl up into a smirk. He was sure the pretty dame’s eyes flickered to his but he must have imagined it as when he stole a glance back at her she was staring straight back at the man who’d been giving her the trouble.

“Mouthy little broad you ain’t ya?” He snarled.

“Show some damned respect.” Steve shot out, and this time the man rounded on him. Steve stood stock still, his mother’s words echoing clearly in his head- you start running, they’ll never let you stop and he was aware in his peripheral that the other 2 men who’d been observing until now were starting to circle like sharks who had just had their first taste of blood.

He braced himself, ready for the inevitable fight, legs slightly apart, hands balling into fists by his side. But it was no use. He was never going to be fast enough or strong enough for one of these guys, let alone three, and as the fist connected with his face he heard a scream and a yell as he fell backwards into the display of oranges and apples which he had lovingly helped Mr T prepare before.

Steve staggered to his feet, readying himself for another hit but it didn’t come. Instead one of the guys was sent sprawling to the ground besides him, shortly followed by the other. He wheeled round to see Bucky had the one that was left standing pinned up by the collar against the brick wall to the side of the shop and Mrs T was on the door step brandishing a broom handle, a string of Italian expletives leaving her mouth.

“Get outta here!” Bucky shoved the one that he was holding harshly into the road where he narrowly avoided colliding with the side of a yellow cab. Then turns to Steve and pulls him up.

“Seriously?” Bucky groaned and Steve shook his head, dusting himself down “You pick a fight with three at once?”

“He didn’t pick a fight with any of them.” A soft voice spoke and both Steve and Bucky turned to look at the dame in the red dress who was dusting herself down as her eyes flitted from Bucky, to Steve, then back again. “He came to help me when one of those bozos was getting a little too familiar.”

“That’s Stevie, a regular Knight in shining armour.” Bucky ruffled Steve’s hair as he gave an exasperated sigh, pushing himself away from his best friend. “Especially when there’s a beautiful dame involved.”

 The lady looked at Bucky, arching an eyebrow before she looked back at Steve and he gulped slightly as for the first time he took her in properly. There was nothing else to say other than she was drop dead gorgeous. Deep green eyes that sparkled like emeralds looked back at him from a heart shaped face, nose speckled with freckles which twitched a little as she smiled revealing a row of perfectly straight, white teeth

"I guess I should thank you Stevie." She spoke, and Steve felt the heat rise in his cheeks.

"It was nothing...I just.." he stopped dead as she reached out and straightened his tie, long eyelashes blinking against his cheeks as she smoothed over his shoulders and dropped a kiss to his cheek.

"My hero"

Steve swallowed and looked at the woman as she stepped back, smiling at him.

“I err, it was…my pleasure.” Steve stuttered and the lady arched an eyebrow, a grin on her face.

“Interesting choice of words.”

“I mean, not pleasure, obviously. No one likes seeing a beautiful dame getting hassled, I mean woman, not that…” he shook his head, as Bucky nudged him. He was rambling, as per usual. “I err, I should…”he gestured to the shop as Mr and Mrs Tromley were now looking at the mess of fruit all over the floor.

“I’m sorry about that.” She turned to the shopkeepers who looked at her, Mrs Tromley waving her away.

“Not your fault, dear.”

“Can I at least buy some of the flowers?”  She asked, a little shyly. “That is what I actually wanted to do after all.”

“Of course, Steven, can you…” Mr T nodded to Steve and then his eyes fell on Bucky “James Buchanan Barnes, what are you doing here?”

“Got a week or so’s furlough, Mr T and Ma sent me for some stuff, I gotta list.” he nodded, fishing it out of his pocket.

Tromley took it from him, scanned it and then turned to walk into the shop, beckoning for Bucky to follow him. Steve’s eyes followed his friend’s broad back as Bucky paused in the doorway and stopped, turning back to the woman. Steve groaned inwardly, he knew that face, Bucky was about to turn on the charm and she was no doubt going to fall in a pool at his feet, just like most of the other girls in the neighbourhood.

“You’re not from round here, right?” Bucky asked.

“What makes you say that?” She countered with a question of her own, looking Bucky up and down as she spoke.

“Never seen you before.”

“Know all the girls in Brooklyn, do you James Buchanan Barnes?” She asked, and Bucky gave a chuckle as she repeated his name to him and winked.

“Only the pretty ones.” “Well I suppose with most men joining the army the moment, even the pretty ones can’t be choosers.”

At that Steve let out a snort of laughter as Bucky blinked in surprise. “Ouch.” He gave a little scoff and shake of his head before he turned to walk into the shop.

“He always like that?” The lady looked at Steve who took a deep breath and smiled a little.

“Yes Ma’am. And to be honest it normally works.” Steve glanced at Bucky before he looked back at the woman who was looking at him, her eyes twinkling. “Most girls just can’t seem’ta say no!”

“Well, I’ll let you into a secret.” She grinned and leaned closer to Steve. “I’m not like most girls.”

Steve swallowed again, nervously brushing a hand through his hair as she straightened up and smiled at him. “I’m Katie by the way, seems only fair you know my name seeing as I know yours.”

“I err, that’s a pretty name.” Steve smiled and then inwardly cursed himself again.

Pretty name? Really? That’s the best you can do?

“Thank you.” She giggled, and then she turned to the buckets “So errr, do you wanna make me a bouquet Steve? Something pretty for my room.”

Glad of the distraction, Steve nodded and turned to the various bunches of flowers. “I err, I noticed you were admiring the gardenias, so…” “You were watching me?” she spoke and Steve looked at her, ready to start protesting that wasn’t what he’d been doing when he spotted the glint in her eyes and he shook his head giving a sigh. She grinned “I love gardenias, lilies are my favourite but gardenias are pretty too.”

“Yeah we don’t have any lilies, unfortunately.” Steve shrugged “They were my Ma’s favourite too.”

Steve set about gathering a generous bunch of flowers as she instructed him to make it a large bouquet and then she followed him into the shop where he wrapped them in brown paper and string as Bucky was leaning against the counter, chatting to the Tromleys, Mrs Tromley laughing loudly at something he’d said.

“You are a cad, Bucky Barnes!” She looked at him, shaking her head “Isn’t it bad enough you joined the army? You’ll give your ma a heart attack one of these days.”

Bucky shrugged “It wasn’t so bad, he never caught me. Even on a bum ankle I was faster.”

“You been caught in places you shouldn’t be again Buck?” Steve looked at him and he shrugged, grinning.

“You know me, Stevie!”

“Yeah, yeah I do.” Steve rolled his eyes before he tied off the bouquet with the string and then handed it to Katie. She smiled.

“You have talented hands.” She spoke gently and Steve flushed once more, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah, he’s good with them.” Bucky spoke and Steve glared at him. Katie turned to look at Bucky again, a smirk playing on her lips.

“Makes a change, in my experience most men don’t know the first thing about how to use them.”

Mrs Tromley choked a little on her coffee as she looked at the younger woman, flashing her a wink. Katie bit her lip, her mouth curling up into a small smile as she rummaged in her purse, pulling out a small leather wallet.

“How much do I owe you?”

“No charge.” Mr Tromley spoke suddenly but Katie shook her head.

“I insist, I was responsible for your display getting trashed, least I can do is pay for these.”

“Oh trust me,” Mr Tromley smiled, “seeing you put that toe-rag into them was worth it.”

“Yeah, you had some pretty vicious moves for a dame.” Bucky looked at her and she shrugged as Steve frowned.

“Wait, you…” “Don’t look so surprised.” Katie smiled “A girl should always know how to defend herself. But if I’m honest, it’s always nice to have a man do it for you.”

At that she smiled and slapped some money down on the counter, stepping back. “Keep the change in insist.”

Mr Tromley looked at her, then at the note, his mouth falling open a little.

“Thank you again Steve.” She picked up the bouquet. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“I hope so, I mean…yeah…come back soon.”

She smiled and with a final look in his direction she left, the bell ringing as the door opened and shut behind her. There was a pause until Bucky turned to Steve.

“Come back soon?” he looked at him “Really? That’s the best you could do?”

Steve groaned. “Piss off Bucky.” He shot, giving a yelp as Mrs T swatted at his head.

“Language, Steven!” She scalded, as Mr T chuckled and slid the money she’d left to Steve across the counter. Steve blinked and looked at it, before he shook his head. Mr Tromley glared at him.

“You don’t take that you’re fired.”

With a groan Steve folded the $5 note up and slid it into the pocket of his slacks. Mrs Tromley muttered something about going to check on her scones which were in the oven upstairs and Mr Tromley headed into the back, leaving Steve and Bucky alone.

“You know, that dame was practically begging for you to ask her out on a date.” Bucky picked up the paper bag containing the groceries he had come for and Steve looked at him, snorting.

“You’re joking right?” the smaller man shook his head “Dame’s like that don’t want a guy like me.” “Clueless.” Bucky shook his head “Absolutely fucking clueless.” Steve watched him head to the door, before he stopped and turned back. “Oh that reminds me. Ma’s expecting you about 6 for dinner. She’s making meatloaf and told me that if you refuse she’s gonna, and I quote.” Bucky cleared his throat and spoke in a light, airey impression of his Ma, “march round to his house and drag him outta that apartment by his ear.”

Steve rolled his eyes well naturedly. He hadn’t been to the Barnes’ for dinner for a week so he wasn’t surprised Winnie had sent Bucky with an invitation that was more of an instruction than anything. “Okay, thanks Buck.”

Bucky gave him a salute before he headed out of the store, whistling to himself. Steve took a deep breath, shook his head and turned back to his work, pushing all thoughts of the stunning young woman in the red dress out of his mind.

*****

“You just don’t know when to give up, do you?” She taunting voice of his opponent rang in Steve’s ears as he staggered to his feet. This wasn’t how he’d planned his trip to the movie theatre going, not one iota. But when the loudmouthed asshole had done nothing but show total disrespect to those fighting overseas as the infomercial was showing, his temper had gotten the better of him and once more had led to him getting into a fight. As far as Monday’s went, this one was pretty crappy.

Which of course he could never walk away from.

“I can do this all day.” Steve huffed, swinging his fist at the guy again. The jerk easily blocked Steve’s feeble punch with his arm, delivering a huge jab with his left which sent Steve sprawling straight into the side of the trashcan from which he’d picked up the lid before. As Steve lay dazed, he heard a familiar voice breaking through the fog.

“Hey! Pick on someone your own size.” Bucky yanked the guy backwards by his jacket, shoving him a little down the alleyway. The guy swung at Bucky who dodged it almost lazily, before delivering a punch of his own, placing a firm boot up the guys ass as he retreated hurriedly. Watching as he scooted away, Bucky turned to Steve who was stood with his hands on his knees, steadying himself.

“Sometimes, I think you like getting punched.”

“I had him on the ropes.” Steve replied, pressing the heel of his palm to the cut above his eyebrow, wincing a little from the various blows he’d taken.

Bucky said nothing, instead he bent down to pick up the enlistment form that had fallen from Steve’s pocket and with a sigh he glanced at it.

“How many times is this?” His eyes scanned the information and he arched an eyebrow “Oh, you’re from Paramus now? You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form. And seriously, Jersey?”

Steve ignored him, and then for the first time looked up at his friend to see him stood tall in his full army uniform. Which could only mean one thing. “You get your orders?” he frowned a little.

“The one-o-seventh. Sergeant James Barnes. Shipping out for England first thing tomorrow.”

Steve sighed, great. Just what he needed to hear. “I should be going.” He shook his head dejectedly.

Bucky looked at him sympathetically before he smiled, and looked an arm round his shoulder, pulling him closer in a friendly gesture as they both began to head back down the alley towards the main road.

“Come on, man, it’s my last night! Gotta get you cleaned up.”

“Why? Where are we going?”

“The future.” Bucky handed Steve the newspaper he was holding. Steve opened it to see the ad for the World Exposition Of Tomorrow.

“Buck…” he began to protest but Bucky stopped him.

“Seriously? My last night before I ship off to bust Nazi’s and you’re already tryin’a bail?”

“No, I just…” “Stevie!” Bucky whined. “Since I got my draft last September, I’ve hardly seen you other than when I’ve been home…”

“I know, but…” “No buts, man! I mean who knows when I’m gonna see you again now I’m actually being sent into combat and not just back to Camp McCoy. You know, London is a little further afield than Wisconsin “

“I’m well aware of that.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“So come on! Let’s go, have some fun. Cut loose a little. It’ll do you good.”

Steve looked up to see Bucky’s eyes shining with mischief, his handsome face grinning at him and he rolled his eyes “Fine, but you’re buying the hotdogs.”

“What else is new?” Bucky grinned, grabbing Steve in a headlock and ruffling his hair a little.

“Jerk.” Steve said furiously, pushing him away.

*****

A couple of hours later the two of them entered the Expo, Steve taking in the sights around him. It was crazy busy, a buzz of excitement around the air and it was hardly surprising. Howard Stark, the guy at the centre of it all was somewhat of a celebrity. He’d founded his company some four years ago at the age of twenty-two, and it had grown from strength to strength, with numerous pioneering technological advances to his name. Steve would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little excited to see the latest and no doubt flamboyant invention the guy had come up with, but his mind was still on his failed Army application, the feeling of inadequacy exacerbated even more by the fact Bucky was going to be leaving him behind to serve his country, something that Steve felt he should be doing right along with his best pal.

Sensing his brooding nature, Bucky nudged him and opened his mouth no doubt to make some wise crack, but Steve shook his head.

“Buck, just don’t”

“I don’t see what the problem is.” Bucky shook his head as they wandered down the steps towards the main pavilion area “You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York.” Bucky grinned, and Steve sighed heavily. Yup, there it was. “You know, there’s three and a half million women here.”

“Well, I’d settle for just one.” Steve muttered and Bucky grinned, Steve allowing a little smile to spread across his face at his own joke.

“Good thing I took care of that.” Bucky grinned and waved to two girls, a blonde and a brunette, who stood a few feet away and Steve stopped dead as one of the girls waved back, calling out to Bucky.

Great, here we go again.

“What did you tell her about me?” Steve groaned. “Only the good stuff.” Bucky smirked as they walked towards the girls, Steve brushing his hand through his hair, making sure it was as tidy as he could.

Bucky introduced the girls as Connie and Bonnie. It was obvious from the start that Connie was the one Bucky was trying his luck with, although to be fair Bonnie might as well have been with Bucky too for all the attention she paid to Steve. As they wandered into the Pavilion, Steve stopped to purchase a bag of sweets before he followed on behind the other 3, glancing around at the various exhibits.

“Welcome to the Modern Marvels Pavilion and the World of Tomorrow.” The expo announcer spoke “A greater world. A better world.”

There was a little bit of murmuring from people in front of them as they stopped, glancing at the large stage in front of them which was currently dark, but then there was movement, music struck up and Connie grabbed Bucky’s arm in excitement.

“Oh, my God! It’s starting!” She squealed and yanked on Bucky’s hand, pulling him closer. As Steve stood behind them he saw the stage light up to reveal a row of women all dressed in black and white striped waistcoats, short jackets and top hats. One of them walked across the front of the stage, smiling as she spoke into a microphone

“Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Howard Stark!”

Smooth and cool as a cucumber, Howard Stark strode onto the stage, taking off his top hat, whilst he smiled, handing it to the announcer before kissing her as the crowd cheered. Howard smirked a little, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket which he used to dab at his mouth before he addressed his audience.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” at that point Steve held the small paper bag over towards Bonnie who looked at it, then him, almost scathingly as Howard continued his speech. “What if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground at all?”

“You know…” A vaguely familiar voice spoke and Steve looked up from where he had been examining his bag of bonbons, wondering what was wrong with them, to see the woman from the shop a few days ago, Katie stood to the side of Bonnie. She was dressed in a simple grey dress which sported a pencil style skirt, with a light blue cardigan covering her shoulders. “When a gentleman offers you a sweet and you don’t want one, there’s really no need to be such a rude bitch about it.”

Her eyes were narrowed as she gave Bonnie a scathing look. Bonnie floundered a little as Katie reached out, dipping her red nailed, manicured hand into the paper bag and taking a bonbon. In doing so, she jostled Bonnie forward a little with her elbow, and turned to the stage, popping the bonbon in her mouth, giving Steve a little wink. Steve felt his cheeks flush as Bucky turned, his attention drawn to the slight scuffle behind him. He saw Katie stood next to Steve and he grinned.

“Hey Dollface!” Katie turned her head and looked at Bucky as Steve rolled his eyes. However, just like at the shop, she payed Bucky no attention other than a flick of her eyebrow, before her eyes moved back to the stage, Steve doing the same to see that Stark was now stood by some sort of podium.

“With Stark robotic reversion technology, you’ll be able to do just that.” Howard spoke, and with that he turned to fiddle with a few switches on the podium and the car started to hover ever so slightly off the ground. Steve felt his mouth drop open in awe as in front of him Bucky let out an astonished mumble.

“Holy cow!”

But he spoke too soon, as the jets making the car hover suddenly malfunctioned and the car fell back onto the stage with a loud crash, sparks flying out round it.

Bucky turned to look at Steve, smiling as Steve’s eyebrows raised, and besides him, Katie gave a snort.

“I did say a few years, didn’t I?” Howard laughed, leaning on the bonnet of the car.

“Few years my ass.” Katie mumbled and Steve looked at her.

“What?”

“Nothing, doesn’t matter.” She shook her head. “Listen, I gotta go-”

“Oh, ok.” Steve tried not to sound disappointed but Katie smiled at him softly, cutting him off.

“Meet me at the Cider cart in an hour.”

“I err…” Steve stuttered, before he frowned. “You sure, you wanna meet me?”

“If I didn’t I wouldn’t have said so.” Katie grinned. “One hour, don’t you dare be late.”

“Yeah, an hour, got it.”

Not quite able to believe his luck, Steve watched her go, smiling to himself before he glanced around and his eyes stopped on the familiar Uncle Sam poster pointing at him, with an arrow directing him to a recruitment centre. What the hell, he had nothing to lose…and an hour was plenty of time. Decision made, he followed the signs and jogged up the steps into the building, pausing to take a look around as people were milling in the carpeted hallway.

“Come on soldier!” a woman giggled at her male company, pulling him away from a mirror making him look like a soldier. Once he was gone Steve stepped in front of the mirror but he was too short to fill out the face. His shoulders slumped and then suddenly, a strong hand gripped his right and Bucky chuckled.

“You’re kind of missing the point of a double date.” He said, shaking his head as Steve stepped away, turning to face him “We’re taking the girls dancing.”

“You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you.” Steve replied, hands dropping into his pockets.

“What, you had a better offer? From Dollface?”

“Her name is Katie.”

“Oh my God I’m right!” Bucky laughed. “Good for you, Punk!”

Steve rolled his eyes and then watched as a man strode past him in an Army Uniform and when Steve looked back at Bucky, his friend’s face now sported an exasperated expression as he’d clearly realised what Steve was planning. “You’re really gonna do this again?”

“Well, it’s a fair. I’m gonna try my luck.” Steve answered with a little shrug.

“As who? Steve from Ohio? They’ll catch you. Or worse, they’ll actually take you.” Bucky’s voice was frustrated and Steve gave a little smile.

“Look, I know you don’t think I can do this, but I’m more-“

“This isn’t a back alley, Steve. It’s war!” Bucky cut him off.

“I know it’s a war. You don’t have to tell me that-“ “Why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs.” “What am I gonna do? Collect scrap metal-“

“Yes!”

“-in my little red wagon?”

“Why not?”

“I’m not gonna sit in a factory, Bucky.” Steve argued, shaking his head.

“I don’t…” Bucky protested once more and Steve cut him off.

“Bucky, come on! There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me.”

“Right. Cause you got nothing to prove.” Bucky said gently and Steve took a deep breath. But before Bucky could say anything else Connie called out to him.

“Hey, Sarge! Are we going dancing?”

Bucky turned back to the girls, his arms held out to the side. “Yes, we are.” With that he turned back to Steve, shaking his head a little, his shoulders slumped in resignation. “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” He instructed as he started to walk away.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Steve shot back and Bucky shook his head, giving a snort.

“You’re a punk.” He walked back towards Steve and hugged him goodbye.

“Jerk” Steve said gently slapping Bucky’s back. “Be careful.”

With a pang of sadness, Steve watched his best friend walking away, not quite sure when they’d see each other again, if indeed ever. He licked his lips and then called out to Bucky once more. “Don’t win the war till I get there!”

Bucky stopped and saluted him before he strode down the steps, “Come on girls. They’re playing our song.”

With a deep breath, Steve headed into the recruitment centre, past an older gentlemen in a brown suit. He was given the usual forms to fill out, this time going with Ohio as his place of birth-thanks for that one, Buck- and he was shown to the medical examination room. After the short physical was over, he was just fastening the sleeves of his long shirt up again when a nurse walked into the room and whispered something inaudible to the doctor.

“Wait here.” The Doctor turned to him, moving to the curtain.

“Is there a problem?” Steve asked, frowning a little.

“Just wait here.” The doctor repeated his instruction before he walked out.

Steve paused for a second, glancing over his right shoulder at a sign warning against lying on enlistment forms before he glanced at the curtain, cold dread filling him. Shit, Bucky was right, they’d caught up with him. Jumping down off the bed he sat heavily in a chair and began to pull on his shoes when someone entered the cubicle. He glanced up and saw a Military Police officer looking at him and he swallowed a little nervously. But before he could say anything another man entered, the man Steve had walked past about forty minutes or so previously in the foyer, and he was clutching a file in his hands.

“Thank you.” The man spoke to the Police Officer who left, pulling the curtains closed behind him. Steve watched as the man turned to face him, his hands behind his back. “So, you want to go overseas.” The man pulled the file from behind him, opening it “Kill some Nazis.”

“Excuse me?”

“Dr. Abraham Erskine.” The man closed the folder and walked over as Steve stood up, shaking his hand “I represent the Strategic Scientific Reserve.”

“Steve Rogers” Steve nodded, noting the man’s accent as he placed the file on the medical bed and started to look through it. “Where are you from?”

“Queens. 73rd Street and Utopia Parkway. Before that, Germany.” He adjusted his glasses as he glanced at Steve “This troubles you?”

“No.” Steve replied honestly, shaking his head.

“Where are you from, Mr. Rogers?” Erskine asked, resting both his hands on the bench “Mmm? Is it New Haven? Or Paramus? Five exams in five different cities.”

“That might not be the right file.” Steve began to try and get out of whatever trouble he was in but Erskine was quick to cut him off.

“No, it’s not the exams I’m interested in. It’s the five tries.” Erskine closed the file, picking it up “But you didn’t answer my question.” He strode over and stopped in front of Steve “Do you want to kill Nazis?”

Steve glanced to the side before he looked at Erskine “Is this a test?”

“Yes.” The man replied bluntly and Steve took a deep breath, before he answered as honestly as he could.

“I don’t wanna kill anyone.” He shook his head, raising his eyes to meet Erskine’s “I don’t like bullies. I don’t care where they’re from.”

“Well, there are already so many big men fighting this war. Maybe what we need now is the little guy, huh?” Erskine smiled before he turned to leave “I can offer you a chance” he said, whipping the curtains open “Only a chance.”

Steve couldn’t believe his ears. Was this Doctor guy actually telling him he’d done it, that he’d finally made it into the army? He had no idea what the Strategic Science Reserve was, or why Erskine had questioned him so, but right now he didn’t care.

“I’ll take it.” He said, hastily grabbing his belongings and following Erskine out.

“Good.” Erskine placed the file down on the desk and picked up a stamp, before replacing it and reaching for another “So where is the little guy from, actually?”

Steve smiled “Brooklyn.”

Erskine smiled back, stamped the form before closing the file and handing it to Steve. “Congratulations, soldier.”

Steve hastily opened it up and did a double take as he saw the stamp was a 1A this time, not 4f. He let out a deep breath and glanced up to thank the man, but he’d already left.

“You’ll be sent your papers and instructions shortly” Another man spoke to him, taking the file off him and handing him back the recruitment slip. Steve nodded. “Be ready, the SSR are on a schedule.”

Steve nodded, before he was shown out of the room. Still in a daze he clutched the piece of paper in his hand and wandered back to the area where he’d left Bucky before. And then he remembered Katie.

Shit.

He hastily made his way outside the building and headed back to the pavilion, weaving his way through the crowds. He found the cider cart and saw her waiting, chatting to the man behind the counter, her brown hair hanging round her shoulders, rouged lips which curled up into a smile as she spotted him approaching.

“You’re late.” Katie looked at him and Steve flushed. “I was beginning to thing you’d stood me up.”

“I wouldn’t do that, my ma taught me better.” He gave her a small smile “I was just...” he waved his enlistment paper at her and she frowned a little

“You enlisted?”

He nodded “Yup.” “Wow.” Katie blinked, “Erm, congratulations, I guess. Is that the right word?”

“It is when you’ve tried and been rejected several times already.” Steve shrugged before he snorted “Story of my life.”

“That girl before was fuckin’ rude.” Katie’s eyes narrowed and Steve blinked at the profanity coming from her mouth before she rolled her eyes. “Don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact I swore means I’m gonna go to hell.” She snorted “If it does, then I got that particular ticket a long time ago.”

“Sorry, I was…” he took a deep breath. “For such a pretty woman you certainly…er…”

“Have a filthy mouth?” She asked and Steve snorted, shrugging as he looked away, his lips curling up into a crooked smile as he raised his eyebrows. She leaned closer to him, her lips brushing his ear as she whispered “You have no idea.”

Steve swallowed at the blatant innuendo causing her to laugh at him even more before she nudged him with her elbow “Come on soldier, what do you want to drink?”

Soldier…that was the second time in ten minutes he’d been called that, and Steve liked it much more coming from her. He watched her for a second before he realised he was staring and she jerked her head towards the stall.

“Cat got your tongue, Stevie?” She grinned and he took a deep breath. “What do you want?”

“Erm, an ale…please…hang on.” He began fishing in his pocket but Katie gently wrapped a hand around his wrist.

“No need.” She smiled, as the man behind the counter held out the ale for Steve along with a cup of cider for her. She took it with a thanks and smiled, taking a sip. “Put it on the tab, will you?”

The stall attendant snorted and nodded “Whatever you say, Katie.”

She turned away and started walking slowly over to an exhibit, Steve falling into step besides her.

“How does he know ya?” Steve asked. Katie looked at him as she swallowed a sip of her cider

“Because I work here,well, I do at the moment.” She smiled as Steve looked at her blankly “I helped organise this.” She waved her hand around.

“You work for Howard Stark?”

“In a fashion.” Katie shrugged. “Now come on, I’m not working now and I wanna see how everything looks.”

They walked around the expo grounds, taking in the sights and various attractions. Steve was surprised to find his awkwardness ebbing away with each minute he spent in Katie’s company. She was down to Earth, easy to talk to and made him feel comfortable about himself…although his good spirits might have also been due to the fact he’d finally made it into the army. His meeting with Dr Erskine had baffled him a little, all truth be told, but he’d liked the man. There was something about him that told Steve he could trust him, and Steve was normally a pretty good judge of character.

By the time they’d done pretty much a lap of the main area of the Pavillion, stopping to examine The Synthetic Man in great detail, Steve was surprised to find that he’d spent over an hour with a woman who hadn’t been seeking to lose him at the first opportunity, quite the opposite in fact. On more than one occasion he noticed men looking in her direction, then to his with puzzled expressions on their face, and he had to admit was it the other way round he’d also probably be slightly surprised to see them together. She was a good two inches taller than him, but he was used to that, she was pretty, vivacious…well out of his league all things considered. But she was good company, and he was thoroughly disappointed when they seemed to be heading back towards the place they’d started, signalling their time together was likely coming to an end.

“So, do you need to find Barnes or…” she looked at him and Steve chuckled.

“Er no, no. He’ll be busy.” Steve shrugged

“What, he just ditched you for those girls?” Katie frowned.

“No, not entirely. I ditched him, well, I went to join the army. He doesn’t approve.” Steve finished, explaining slightly.

“Approve of what?”

“Me signin’ up.

“Why not?”

“Doesn’t think I can cope.” Steve shrugged. “I wasn’t exactly a healthy kid so…”

“Well they let you in so you can’t be that bad.”

Steve wrinkled his nose and shook his head slightly. “Some doctor in there offered me a chance, what can I say? Said that there were so many big guys fighting, maybe they needed a little one.”

At that Katie stopped walking and looked at him. “Wait, it was a doctor that accepted you?”

“Yeah,” Steve frowned

“You mean one of the Medical Recruitment Officers?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Steve’s frown deepened “He was with some Scientific Division.” He looked at Katie, who was looking right back at him, her eyes wide “Wait, is there something wrong?”

“No, nothing, just surprised me a little, that’s all.” She looked around, as if she was searching for someone and Steve watched her, a little confused as she chewed her lip with an air of contemplation before she looked back at him, her green eyes locking onto his with a softness in them that made him go weak at the knees, well, weaker than normal. “Thank you for keeping me company tonight Steve, I had fun.”

“Me too.” He said earnestly. “Hey, if you want, I mean only if you want, we could maybe meet up again, you know, before I get my posting?” At that Katie’s face fell and Steve sighed, he’d blown it. She’d only asked him to accompany her round he expo out of politeness, duty even as a thank you for his intervention on the street a few weeks back, and now he’d put her on the spot. “It’s okay.” He started to back track. “I get that you’re probably busy and get asked that all the time…”

“No, it’s not that.” She shook her head “I’d love to go out with you Steve, but I leave town tomorrow. I’m needed back at, well, my other job.”

“Oh, okay.” Steve popped a shoulder up, trying to hide his disappointment. “Well, I err…good luck. With whatever that job is.”

Katie laughed. “It’s me who should be wishing you good luck, trust me.” She cocked her head before she took a deep breath. “Just remember Steve, the world needs men like you, be a shame if we lost you all in the war.”

At her compliment he felt himself once more flush, and the heat in his neck rose even more as she leaned down and pressed her lips softly to his cheek. She pulled back a little, locking her eyes onto his and he swallowed, the lump in his throat now only rivalled by the one he was starting to feel in his slacks. And then, he had no idea how it happened but her lips were suddenly pressed to his. He froze momentarily, but then he went with his instinct and mirrored her movements, his eyes fluttering closed. Her hands gently curled over his shoulder, his automatically falling to her hips, shaking a little against the fabric of her dress as the kiss deepened slightly, the warm edge of her tongue flicking at his lips. He parted his mouth a little, allowing her to curl her tongue against his, a movement that made him shudder and he was beyond disappointed when she pulled away. She smiled against his mouth, her nose bumping his slightly as his cheeks felt hotter than the sun. He knew he was blushing, furiously, having just had his first proper kiss in the middle of a huge exhibition, but Katie seemed completely nonplussed as she smiled at him.

“For luck.” She whispered, stepping back slightly, before she turned and headed away, casting a glance back over her shoulder at him, flashing him another cheeky little wink. “See you around.”

Steve floundered a little, mouth gaping as he watched her disappear into the crowd, and with a final shake of his head and a deep, steadying breath he headed for the exit.

*****

 As it turned out Steve didn’t have long to wait for his posting at all. The following day he received his papers assigning him to Camp Lehigh in New Jersey as part of his recruitment to the SSR’s “Operation Rebirth” programme, whatever that was. He assumed he’d receive more details upon arrival. It wasn’t that which surprised him the most however, it was the date upon which he was ordered to report. Wednesday. As in, tomorrow. Whilst it didn’t give him much time to prepare, it didn’t bother him too much. He had meagre belongings anyways and anything he didn’t want to take with him he packed up into smaller boxes with the help of Bucky’s teenage sister Rebecca, Buck’s dad promising to keep it safe for him until he got back.

Winnie was beside herself when Steve broke the news that he too was enlisting, but she wished him well and made him promise to write. As did the Tromleys, who both took the news even worse than Bucky’s family had. Ada having first burst into tears then hugged him so hard he thought she was going to crush him half to death, whilst Mr Tromley had shook his hand and warned him that if he didn’t come back alive, with all 4 limbs, he’d kill Steve himself.

The morning rolled round ridiculously fast and both the Tromleys and Mr and Mrs Barnes insisted on seeing him off.  Once more Ada and Winnie hugged him tightly before Mr Tromley and Mr Barnes shook his hand, the latter promising Steve he would sort out everything with his landlord, taking the key to his small apartment in the tenement building where Steve had lived in all his life. Steve felt a little pang of emotion at that point, this was the last physical tie he really had to his mother but he took a deep breath letting it go slowly. She’d been dead now for seven years and anything that remained of hers in the building was all safely stored.

No, Steve had absolutely no doubts about what he was doing. This was all he had ever wanted, to follow in his father’s footsteps and so, at six am on the 16th June 1943 Steve Rogers boarded the Army bus that arrived at the bus station to take him and a number of other recruits to New Jersey, leaving the place he’d called home for his entire life behind.

**** Chapter 2

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Rebirth

Chapter 1: Flowers In The Window

Summary: Steven Grant Rogers, the dumb kid, too stubborn to run away from a fight, was never gonna allow a bunch of no-good low-lives to hassle a dame in the street, even if it was going to lead to him getting his ass kicked. For once, however, the ass kicking has an upside as the dame in question seemed particularly grateful, a fact she displays a few days later at the Stark Expo.

But it wasn’t the only encounter that night that seemed set to change his life when Dr Erskine throws him a bone, meaning Steve can finally do the one thing he’s been desperate to do for years.

Join the army.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Nothing much… Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N:  As part of SSB’s 1st Birthday, @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ sent me and ask asking what would have gone down so to speak should Katie have been part of the CA: TFA timeline. So here it is, my take!  I’ll be trying to keep this fic as accurate to the time period and the movie as possible, just like with the other SS fics. I’ve gleamed the dates and timeline from good old google and a wonderful post that flipped up on my timeline which can be found here.

I really hope you enjoy this, there will be some creative license because, let’s face it, what is Fan Fic other than self-indulgence? I’ve been dying to write something like this for ages. All of it will be written from Steve’s point of view because…well, just because.   Huge thanks to my beta readers @southerngracela​ and @icanfeelastormbrewing​ who both found time in their hugely hectic schedules to check this over. That said, any mistakes are my own. I’ll probably spot them once posted but, whatever!

HAPPY 1 YEAR BIRTHDAY to STARK SPANGLED BANNER!!!! 

SSR Masterlist // WIYPT Masterlist 

June 1943

It started just the same as any normal Friday morning for Steven Grant Rogers. He unlocked the back of the Grocery Store on the corner of Berry Street in Brooklyn, using the entrance down the alley way reserved for staff. Once inside he grabbed his beige coloured linen apron off the hook and smiled at the items he had to work with today. Fridays, were always a treat as they took the rare delivery of freshly cut flowers ready to be sold for the weekend. This week there were boxes of bright white gardenias with their waxy petals and shiny, leathery dark green leaves, bunches of bright purple heliotrope which always reminded him of one of his mother’s scarves, and plenty of white, blue and purple asters. Steve bent down to take in the strong, vibrant fragrance of the gardenias, closing his eyes. It was easy to imagine he was in some garden somewhere, or even the middle of central park…not some little shop in Williamsberg.

“Don’t be inhaling enough of that to set your asthma off!” Mr Tromley, a kindly faced, portly man in his 50s greeted, and Steve turned to look at him, smiling a little shyly.

“I won’t Mr T.” he assured him. “They’re just so darn pretty…”

“Well set yourself a few aside.” Mr Tromley smiled “You can take them home and sketch them.”

“Oh, I couldn’t” Steve protested, the way he always did when Mr Tromley tried to slip him something for free be it scraps of meat he couldn’t sell from the counter that would be given to dogs, bread that wasn’t as soft as it had been in the morning and would be fed to the birds, milk that was going to turn, cheese that was slightly past its best. Mr Tromley ignored all his protests though, usually threatening to sack Steve if he didn’t take it. The man knew what it was like to come from a hard background, which was part of the reason he’d taken a shine to that sickly, 22 year old orphan with a degree in fine arts that had come begging for a job some 3 years ago. He couldn’t pay him much but he could do other things to make sure he got by.

“Well if you don’t take ‘em Steve they’ll just end up withering and a-dyin’, so reckon you’d be doin’ em a kindness.” Mr Tromley shrugged “Now, my Ada has some coffee going, you want a cup before we open the doors?”

Steve glanced at the clock above the counter, more out of habit than anything as he knew full well that he arrived with an hour to go.

“Mr T that’d be swell.” He smiled.

“Okay, you get started and I’ll fetch it down.”

Steve began in the usual way, pulling some simple bouquets together, varying in size and price, ready for the busy men to pick up on their way home from work, a nice present for their dame’s for the weekend. Once the stalks and lower foliage were trimmed and stripped, he fastened and tied them in simple brown waxy paper using plain brown string. Steve always insisted on using plain wrapping as anything else would detract from the beauty of the flowers. He placed the finished bouquets into one of the green buckets of water Mr Tromley fetched from the back, before he then carefully and delicately trimmed down the remaining flowers before placing them loose in their own buckets according to type, ready for the ladies, and occasional gentleman, who had the time and desire to create their own bunches.

Impeccably organised, as ever, Steve finished his work 15 minutes before the store was due to open. He then set about helping Mr Tromley as they arranged the buckets outside the shop window on the sidewalk, before they set up the other stalls of seasonal vegetables. There wasn’t much fruit to go by at the moment, but that was a sign of the times really. But what they did have, namely a selection of apples and oranges, they set those out ready too. Once that was done, Mr Tromley handed Steve a thick wedge of fresh bread which had been delivered that morning from the local bakery, along with some of his wife’s home-made jam which was sold from their shop. Steve took his breakfast with a mumbled thanks, averse to taking the daily handouts as ever, and Mr Tromley sighed.

“Steve, when are you going to realise that a piece of bread and jam for breakfast ain’t gonna bankrupt me?”

“I just don’t want to appear to take advantage, that’s all.” “Ah quit it.” Tromley waved his hand, shaking his head “If I didn’t want you to take advantage of it, I wouldn’t offer it would I? Now, eat that and get behind the counter.”

The morning passed much the same as they always did. A flurry of activity at opening, a steady stream of locals and regulars through to the usual peak of activity just before lunch. Like clockwork, Mr Tromley closed the doors bang on midday for an hour and Steve gathered his sketchbook along with the brown paper bag which contained his cheese and bread, and headed outside into the sun. At Mr Tromley’s instruction he selected an apple from the display and crossed the road avoiding the yellow cabs and cyclists and trams, taking up seat on the bench which sat directly opposite the shop front.  He chewed his lunch, washed it down with the tin bottle of lemonade that Mrs Tromley had filled for him earlier, and then once he had finished his apple he tossed the core over to a pigeon who instantly began pecking at it. He then untucked the pencil that was behind his ear, opened his sketchbook and resumed the detailed landscapes he was doing of the buildings surrounding the shop front. Drawing was his escape, something he did any chance he got. He dreamed one day of travelling the world, drawing all the different sights he could, but that was out of the question. Well, until he finally got into the army. With 4 failed attempts under his belt already, most men would have given up but not Steven Rogers. Stubborn, tenacious and plucky to a fault, he was already planning his next attempt at enlisting, this time he was going to hail from New Jersey. Well, as good a place as any.  

Steve glanced up, checking the detail of the window to the cobblers next door, and that was when he saw her, just walking down the sidewalk. She wore a red high-collared, cap sleeved tea-dress which flared out slightly from her hips and finished just below her knee. It was cinched in at the waist with a black belt, and was detailed round the hem and sleeve edges with pretty white lace. On her feet she wore a pair of simple, elegant black block heel courts with a T-bar buckle. Her hair was a silky, shiny chestnut which hung around her face in bouncy waves and she had a soft, gentle profile with high cheekbones, slightly flushed cheeks and ruby lips. She stopped outside the shop, examining the flowers with a smile, and then she looked up at the shop door and saw the CLOSED sign in the window. She can’t be from around here, Steve thought to himself, everyone in the neighbourhood knew when Tromley closed his doors and opened them, you could set your watch by it. Still, she hung around, softly picking up a gardenia and holding it to her nose, smiling to herself as she inhaled.

Steve found the innocent act breath-taking. He felt a little, well, shameful in a way, to be watching her so, intruding on what was clearly a private moment but he couldn’t help it. She was beautiful, grace personified, and he felt a little sad as she replaced the flower, gave the buckets one last look, before she continued on her way. Steve sighed, wishing to God that the shop had been open, it would have given him an excuse to maybe see her a little more closely. Perhaps talk to her. Or not as the case maybe, Bucky was always telling him how useless he was when it came to striking up conversations with ladies. But, for now, he had to settle for watching her walk away. Only he wasn’t the only one.

“Hey pretty thing…” Steve heard a voice and turned to his left where a group of men, most likely in their late teens or early twenties, had spotted her. As Steve watched he saw one of them push himself off the lamppost he’d been leaning on and cross the street towards her. The lady stopped, looking at him with her eyebrow raised. He spoke to her again, Steve couldn’t hear the conversation but a smile tugged at his lips as the lady looked the boy up and down, disdain etched all over her pretty face before she shook her head and laughed. She made to move past the kid but he reached out and grabbed her arm.

And Steve just couldn’t help himself.

“Hey…” he called, jumping up and hurrying across the street “Let the lady go.”

“Back off, this has nothing to do with you.” The man rounded on him, looking at him before he snorted at Steve’s stature. “Besides, what you gonna do about it anyway?”

Steve took a deep breath, he was used to people looking down their noses at him, both figuratively and literally. That was part and parcel of being only 5 foot 4 inches tall. He also knew that at 100lb give or take, he didn’t cut a formidable figure either, but he was damned if he was going to let this bully manhandle a dame in the middle of the street.

The woman wrenched her arm away from the man’s grip and glared at him, furious green eyes bored into his as she snorted and looked the guy up and down. “He’s clearly twice the gentleman you’ll ever be. Didn’t your mother ever teach you basic, good manners jack ass?”

“What did you just say?” a sudden darkness crossed the man’s face as he looked down at the woman who stood, un-yielding, clutching her purse as it hung around her shoulder.

“You heard me, well unless you’re deaf as well as ugly.” she shrugged slightly. At that Steve really couldn’t hold his face straight anymore and he felt the side of his lips curl up into a smirk. He was sure the pretty dame’s eyes flickered to his but he must have imagined it as when he stole a glance back at her she was staring straight back at the man who’d been giving her the trouble.

“Mouthy little broad you ain’t ya?” he snarled.

“Show some damned respect.” Steve shot out, and this time the man rounded on him. Steve stood stock still, his mother’s words echoing clearly in his head- you start running, they’ll never let you stop and he was aware in his peripheral that the other 2 men who’d been observing until now were starting to circle like sharks who had just had their first taste of blood.

He braced himself, ready for the inevitable fight, legs slightly apart, hands balling into fists by his side. But it was no use. He was never going to be fast enough or strong enough for one of these guys, let alone 3, and as the fist connected with his face he heard a scream and a yell as he fell backwards into the display of oranges and apples which he had lovingly helped Mr T prepare before.

Steve staggered to his feet, readying himself for another hit but it didn’t come. Instead one of the guys was sent sprawling to the ground besides him, shortly followed by the other. He wheeled round to see Bucky had the one that was left standing pinned up by the collar against the brick wall to the side of the shop and Mrs T was on the door step brandishing a broom handle, a string of Italian expletives leaving her mouth.

“Get outta here…” Bucky shoved the one that he was holding harshly into the road where he narrowly avoided colliding with the side of a yellow cab. Then turns to Steve and pulls him up.

“Seriously?” Bucky groaned and Steve shook his head, dusting himself down “You pick a fight with 3 at once?”

“He didn’t pick a fight with any of them.” A soft voice spoke and both Steve and Bucky turned to look at the dame in the red dress who was dusting herself down as her eyes flitted from Bucky, to Steve, then back again. “He came to help me when one of those bozos was getting a little too familiar.”

“That’s Stevie, a regular Knight in shining armour…” Bucky ruffled Steve’s hair as he gave an exasperated sigh, pushing himself away from his best friend. “Especially when there’s a beautiful dame involved.”

 The lady looked at Bucky, arching an eyebrow slightly before she looked back at Steve and he gulped slightly as for the first time he took her in properly.  She was gorgeous. Deep green eyes that sparkled like emeralds in a coal mine looked back at him from a heart shaped face, nose speckled with freckles which twitched a little as she smiled revealing a row of perfectly straight, white teeth

"I guess I should thank you Stevie." She spoke, and Steve felt the heat rise in his cheeks.

"It was nothing...I just.." he stopped dead as she reached out and straightened his tie, long eyelashes blinking against his cheeks as she smoothed over his shoulders and dropped a kiss to his cheek.

"My hero"

Steve swallowed and looked at the woman as she stepped back, smiling at him.

“I err, it was…my pleasure.” Steve stuttered and the lady arched an eyebrow, a grin on her face.

“Interesting choice of words.”

“I mean, not pleasure, obviously. No one likes seeing a beautiful dame getting hassled, I mean woman, not that…” he shook his head, as Bucky nudged him. He was rambling, as per usual. “I err, I should…”he gestured to the shop as Mr and Mrs Tromley were now looking at the mess of fruit all over the floor.

“I’m sorry about that.” She turned to the shopkeepers who looked at her, Mrs Tromley waving her away.

“Not your fault dear.”

“Can I at least buy some of the flowers?”  She asked, a little shyly “That is what I actually wanted to do after all.”

“Of course, Steven, can you…” Mr T nodded to Steve and then his eyes fell on Bucky “James Buchanan Barnes, what are you doing here?”

“Got a week or so’s furlough, Mr T and Ma sent me for some stuff, I gotta list.” he nodded, fishing it out of his pocket.

Tromley took it from him, scanned it and then turned to walk into the shop, beckoning for Bucky to follow him. Steve’s eyes followed his friend’s broad back as Bucky paused in the doorway and stopped, turning back to the woman. Steve groaned inwardly, he knew that face, Bucky was about to turn on the charm and she was no doubt going to fall in a pool at his feet, just like most of the other girls in the neighbourhood.

“You’re not from round here, right?” Bucky asked.

“What makes you say that?” she countered with a question of her own, looking Bucky up and down as she spoke.

“Never seen you before.”

“Know all the girls in Brooklyn, do you James Buchanan Barnes?” she asked, and Bucky gave a chuckle as she repeated his name to him and winked.

“Only the pretty ones.” “Well I suppose with most men joining the army the moment, even the pretty ones can’t be choosers.”

At that Steve let out a snort of laughter as Bucky blinked in surprise. “Ouch.” He gave a little scoff and shake of his head before he turned to walk into the shop.

“He always like that?” the lady looked at Steve who took a deep breath and smiled a little.

“Yes Ma’am. And to be honest it normally works.” Steve glanced at Bucky before he looked back at the woman who was looking at him, her eyes twinkling “Most girls just can’t say no!”

“Well, I’ll let you into a secret.” She grinned and leaned closer to Steve. “I’m not like most girls.”

Steve swallowed again, nervously brushing a hand through his hair as she straightened up and smiled at him. “I’m Katie by the way, seems only fair you know my name seeing as I know yours.”

“I err, that’s a pretty name.” Steve smiled and then inwardly cursed himself again. He really had no idea how to talk to dames.

“Thank you.” She giggled, and then she turned to the buckets “So errr, do you wanna make me a bouquet Steve? Something pretty for my room.”

Glad of the distraction, Steve nodded and turned to the various bunches of flowers. “I err, I noticed you were admiring the gardenias, so…” “You were watching me?” she spoke and Steve looked at her, ready to start protesting that wasn’t what he’d been doing when he spotted the glint in her eyes and he shook his head giving a sigh. She grinned “I love gardenias, lilies are my favourite but gardenias are pretty too.”

“Yeah we don’t have any lilies, unfortunately.” Steve shrugged “They were my Ma’s favourite too.”

If she noticed the use of the past tense verb when speaking about his mother she didn’t say anything, but really what would she say? They’d met literally about 5 minutes ago. Steve set about gathering a generous bunch of flowers as she instructed him to make it a large bouquet and then she followed him into the shop where he wrapped them in brown paper and string as Bucky was leaning against the counter, chatting to the Tromleys, Mrs Tromley laughing loudly at something he’d said.

“You are a cad Bucky Barnes!” she look at him, shaking her head “Isn’t it bad enough you joined the army? You’ll give your ma a heart attack one of these days.”

Bucky shrugged “It wasn’t so bad, he never caught me. Even on a bum ankle I was faster.”

“You been caught in places you shouldn’t be again Buck?” Steve looked at him and he shrugged, grinning.

“You know me Stevie…”

“Yeah, yeah I do.” Steve rolled his eyes before he tied off the bouquet with the string and then handed it to Katie. She smiled.

“You have talented hands.” She spoke gently and Steve flushed once more, rubbing the back of his hands.

“Yeah, he’s good with them.” Bucky spoke and Steve glared at him. Katie turned to look at Bucky again, a smirk playing on her lips.

“Makes a change, in my experience most men don’t know the first thing about how to use them.”

Mrs Tromley choked a little on her coffee as she looked at the younger woman, flashing her a wink. Katie bit her lip, her mouth curling up into a small smile as she rummaged in her purse, pulling out a small leather wallet.

“How much do I owe you?”

“No charge.” Mr Tromley spoke suddenly but Katie shook her head.

“I insist, I was responsible for your display getting trashed, least I can do is pay for these.”

“Oh trust me.” Mr Tromley smiled, “Seeing you put that toe-rag into them was worth it.”

“Yeah, you had some pretty vicious moves for a dame.” Bucky looked at her and she shrugged as Steve frowned.

“Wait, you…” “Don’t look so surprised.” Katie smiled “A girl should always know how to defend herself. But if I’m honest, it’s always nice to have a man do it for you.”

At that she smiled and slapped some money down on the counter, stepping back. “Keep the change in insist.”

Mr Tromley looked at her, then at the note, his mouth falling open a little.

“Thank you again Steve.” She picked up the bouquet. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“I hope so, I mean…yeah…come back soon.”

She smiled and with a final look in his direction she left, the bell ringing as the door opened and shut behind her. There was a pause until Bucky turned to Steve.

“Come back soon?” he looked at him “Really? That’s the best you could do?”

Steve groaned. “Piss off Bucky.” He shot, giving a yelp as Mrs T swatted at his head.

“Language Steven!” she scalded, as Mr T chuckled and slid the money she’d left to Steve across the counter. Steve blinked and looked at it, before he shook his head. Mr Tromley glared at him.

“You don’t take that you’re fired.”

With a groan Steve folded the $5 note up and slid it into the pocket of his slacks. Mrs Tromley muttered something about going to check on her scones which were in the oven upstairs and Mr Tromley headed into the back, leaving Steve and Bucky alone.

“You know, that dame was practically begging for you to ask her out on a date.” Bucky picked up the paper bag containing the groceries he had come for and Steve looked at him, snorting.

“You’re joking right?” the smaller man shook his head “Dame’s like that don’t want a guy like me.” “Clueless.” Bucky shook his head “Absolutely fucking clueless.” Steve watched him head to the door, before he stopped and turned back. “Oh that reminds me. Ma’s expecting you about 6 for dinner. She’s making meatloaf and told me that if you refuse she’s gonna, and I quote.” Bucky cleared his throat and spoke in a light, airey impression of his Ma “march round to his house and drag him outta that apartment by his ear.”

Steve rolled his eyes well naturedly. He hadn’t been to the Barnes’ for dinner for a week so he wasn’t surprised Winnie had sent Bucky with an invitation that was more of an instruction than anything. “Okay, thanks Buck.”

Bucky gave him a salute before he headed out of the store, whistling to himself. Steve took a deep breath, shook his head and turned back to his work, pushing all thoughts of the stunning young woman in the red dress out of his mind.

“You just don’t know when to give up, do you?” the taunting voice of his opponent rang in Steve’s ears as he staggered to his feet. This wasn’t how he’d planned his trip to the movie theatre going, not one iota. But when the loudmouthed asshole had done nothing but show total disrespect to those fighting overseas as the infomercial was showing, his temper had gotten the better of him and once more had led to him getting into a fight. As far as Monday’s went, this one was pretty crappy.

Which of course he could never walk away from.

“I can do this all day.” Steve huffed, swinging his fist at the guy again. The jerk easily blocked Steve’s feeble punch with his arm, delivering a huge jab with his left which sent Steve sprawling straight into the side of the trashcan from which he’d picked up the lid before. As Steve lay dazed, he heard a familiar voice breaking through the fog.

“Hey! Pick on someone your own size.” Bucky yanked the guy backwards by his jacket, shoving him a little down the alleyway. The guy swung at Bucky who dodged it almost lazily, before delivering a punch of his own, placing a firm boot up the guys ass as he retreated hurriedly. Watching as he scooted away, Bucky turned to Steve who was stood with his hands on his knees, steadying himself.

“Sometimes, I think you like getting punched.”

“I had him on the ropes.” Steve replied, pressing the heel of his palm to the cut above his eyebrow, wincing a little from the various blows he’d taken.

Bucky said nothing, instead he bent down to pick up the enlistment form that had fallen from Steve’s pocket and with a sigh he glanced at it.

“How many times is this?” his eyes scanned the information and he arched an eyebrow “Oh, you’re from Paramus now? You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form. And seriously, Jersey?”

Steve ignored him, and then for the first time looked up at his friend to see him stood tall in his full army uniform. Which could only mean one thing. “You get your orders?” he frowned a little.

“The one-o-seventh. Sergeant James Barnes. Shipping out for England first thing tomorrow.”

Steve sighed, great. Just what he needed to hear. “I should be going.” He shook his head dejectedly.

Bucky looked at him sympathetically before he smiled, and looked an arm round his shoulder, pulling him closer in a friendly gesture as they both began to head back down the alley towards the main road.

“Come on, man, it’s my last night! Gotta get you cleaned up.”

“Why? Where are we going?”

“The future.” Bucky handed Steve the newspaper he was holding. Steve opened it to see the ad for the World Exposition Of Tomorrow.

“Buck…” he began to protest but Bucky stopped him.

“Seriously? My last night before I ship off to bust Nazi’s and you’re already tryin’a bail?”

“No, I just…” “Stevie!” Bucky whined. “Since I got my draft last September, I’ve hardly seen you other than when I’ve been home…”

“I know, but…” “No buts, man! I mean who knows when I’m gonna see you again now I’m actually being sent into combat and not just back to Camp McCoy. You know, London is a little further afield than Wisconsin “

“I’m well aware of that.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“So come on! Let’s go, have some fun. Cut loose a little. It’ll do you good.”

Steve looked up to see Bucky’s eyes shining with mischief, his handsome face grinning at him and he rolled his eyes “Fine, but you’re buying the hotdogs.”

“What else is new?” Bucky grinned, grabbing Steve in a headlock and ruffling his hair a little.

“Jerk.” Steve said furiously, pushing him away.

A couple of hours later the 2 of them entered the Expo, Steve taking in the sights around him. It was crazy busy, a buzz of excitement around the air and it was hardly surprising. Howard Stark, the guy at the centre of it all was somewhat of a celebrity. He’d founded his company some 4 years ago at the age of 22 and it had grown from strength to strength, with numerous pioneering technological advances to his name. Steve would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little excited to see the latest and no doubt flamboyant invention the guy had come up with, but his mind was still on his failed Army application, the feeling of inadequacy exacerbated even more by the fact Bucky was going to be leaving him behind to serve his country, something that Steve felt he should be doing right along with his best pal.

Sensing his brooding nature, Bucky nudged him and opened his mouth no doubt to make some wise crack, but Steve shook his head.

“Buck, just don’t”

“I don’t see what the problem is.” Bucky shook his head as they wandered down the steps towards the main pavilion area “You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York.” Bucky grinned, and Steve sighed heavily. Yup, there it was. “You know, there’s three and a half million women here.”

“Well, I’d settle for just one.” Steve muttered and Bucky grinned, Steve allowing a little smile to spread across his face at his own joke.

“Good thing I took care of that.” Bucky grinned and waved to two girls, a blonde and a brunette, who stood a few feet away and Steve stopped dead as one of the girls waved back, calling out to Bucky.

Great, here we go again.

“What did you tell her about me?” Steve groaned. “Only the good stuff.” Bucky smirked as they walked towards the girls, Steve brushing his hand through his hair, making sure it was as tidy as he could.

Bucky introduced the girls as Connie and Bonnie. It was obvious from the start that Connie was the one Bucky was trying his luck with, although to be fair Bonnie might as well have been with Bucky too for all the attention she paid to Steve. As they wandered into the Pavilion, Steve stopped to purchase a bag of sweets before he followed on behind the other 3, glancing around at the various exhibits.

“Welcome to the Modern Marvels Pavilion and the World of Tomorrow.” The expo announcer spoke “A greater world. A better world.”

There was a little bit of murmuring from people in front of them as they stopped, glancing at the large stage in front of them which was currently dark, but then there was movement, music struck up and Connie grabbed Bucky’s arm in excitement.

“Oh, my God! It’s starting!” she squealed and yanked on Bucky’s hand, pulling him closer. As Steve stood behind them he saw the stage light up to reveal a row of women all dressed in black and white striped waistcoats, short jackets and top hats. One of them walked across the front of the stage, smiling as she spoke into a microphone

“Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Howard Stark!”

Smooth and cool as a cucumber, Howard Stark strode onto the stage, taking off his top hat, whilst he smiled, handing it to the announcer before kissing her as the crowd cheered. Howard smirked a little, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket which he used to dab at his mouth before he addressed his audience.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” at that point Steve held the small paper bag over towards Bonnie who looked at it, then him, almost scathingly as Howard continued his speech. “What if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground at all?”

“You know…” a vaguely familiar voice spoke and Steve looked up from where he had been examining his bag of bonbons, wondering what was wrong with them, to see the woman from the shop a few weeks ago, Katie stood to the side of Bonnie. She was dressed in a simple grey dress which sported a pencil style skirt, with a light blue cardigan covering her shoulders. “When a gentleman offers you a sweet and you don’t want one, there’s really no need to be such a rude bitch about it.”

Her eyes were narrowed as she gave Bonnie a scathing look. Bonnie floundered a little as Katie reached out, dipping her red nailed, manicured hand into the paper bag and taking a sweet. In doing so she jostled Bonnie forward a little with her elbow, and turned to the stage, popping the bonbon in her mouth, giving Steve a little wink. Steve felt his cheeks flush a little as Bucky turned a little, his attention drawn to the slight scuffle behind him. He saw Katie stood next to Steve and he grinned.

“Hey Dollface.” Katie turned her head and looked at Bucky as Steve rolled his eyes. However, just like at the shop, she payed Bucky no attention other than a flick of her eyebrow, before her eyes flicked back to the stage, Steve doing the same to see that Stark was now stood by some sort of podium.

“With Stark robotic reversion technology, you’ll be able to do just that.” Howard spoke, and with that he turned to fiddle with a few switches on the podium and the car started to hover ever so slightly off the ground. Steve felt his mouth drop open in awe as in front of him Bucky let out an astonished mumble.

“Holy cow.”

But he spoke too soon, as the robots making the car hover suddenly malfunctioned and the car fell back onto the stage with a loud crash, sparks flying out round it.

Bucky turned to look at Steve, smiling as Steve’s eyebrows raised, and besides him, Katie gave a snort.

“I did say a few years, didn’t I?” Howard laughed, leaning on the bonnet of the car.

“Few years my ass.” Katie mumbled and Steve looked at her.

“What?”

“Nothing, doesn’t matter.” she shook her head. “Listen, I gotta go-”

“Oh, ok.” Steve tried not to sound disappointed but Katie smiled at him softly, cutting him off.

“Meet me at the Cider cart in an hour.”

“I err…” Steve stuttered, before he frowned “You sure, you wanna meet me?”

“If I didn’t I wouldn’t have said so.” Katie grinned,  “1 hour, don’t you dare be late.”

“Yeah, an hour, got it…”

Not quite able to believe his luck, Steve watched her go, smiling to himself before he glanced around and his eyes stopped on the familiar Uncle Sam poster pointing at him, with an arrow directing him to a recruitment centre. What the hell, he had nothing to lose…and an hour was plenty of time. Decision made, he followed the signs and jogged up the steps into the building, pausing to take a look around as people were milling in the carpeted hallway.

“Come on soldier!” a woman giggled at her male company, pulling him away from a mirror making him look like a soldier. Once he was gone Steve stepped in front of the mirror but he was too short to fill out the face. His shoulders slumped and then suddenly, a strong hand gripped his right and Bucky chuckled.

“You’re kind of missing the point of a double date.” He said, shaking his head as Steve stepped away, turning to face him “We’re taking the girls dancing.”

“You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you.” Steve replied, hands dropping into his pockets.

“What, you had a better offer? From Doll face?”

“Her name is Katie.”

“Oh my God I’m right!” Bucky laughed “Good for you, Punk!”

Steve rolled his eyes and then watched as a man strode past him in an Army Uniform and when Steve looked back at Bucky, his friend’s face now sported an exasperated expression as he’d clearly realised what Steve was planning. “You’re really gonna do this again?”

“Well, it’s a fair. I’m gonna try my luck.” Steve answered with a little shrug.

“As who? Steve from Ohio? They’ll catch you. Or worse, they’ll actually take you.” Bucky’s voice was frustrated and Steve gave a little smile.

“Look, I know you don’t think I can do this, but I’m more-“

“This isn’t a back alley, Steve. It’s war!” Bucky cut him off.

“I know it’s a war. You don’t have to tell me that-“ “Why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs.” “What am I gonna do? Collect scrap metal-“

“Yes!”

“-in my little red wagon?”

“Why not?”

“I’m not gonna sit in a factory, Bucky.” Steve argued, shaking his head.

“I don’t…” Bucky protested once more and Steve cut him off.

“Bucky, come on! There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me.”

“Right. Cause you got nothing to prove.” Bucky said gently and Steve took a deep breath. But before Bucky could say anything else Connie called out to him.

“Hey, Sarge! Are we going dancing?”

Bucky turned back to the girls, his arms held out to the side. “Yes, we are.” With that he turned back to Steve, shaking his head a little, his shoulders slumped in resignation. “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” He instructed as he started to walk away.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Steve shot back and Bucky shook his head, giving a snort.

“You’re a punk.” He walked back towards Steve and hugged him goodbye.

“Jerk” Steve said gently slapping Bucky’s back. “Be careful.”

With a pang of sadness, Steve watched his best friend walking away, not quite sure when they’d see each other again, if indeed ever. He licked his lips and then called out to Bucky once more. “Don’t win the war till I get there!”

Bucky stopped and saluted him before he strode down the steps, “Come on girls. They’re playing our song.”

With a deep breath, Steve headed into the recruitment centre, past an older gentlemen in a brown suit. He was given the usual forms to fill out, this time going with Ohio as his place of birth-thanks for that one, Buck- and he was shown to the medical examination room. After the short physical was over, he was just fastening the sleeves of his long shirt up again when a nurse walked into the room and whispered something inaudible to the doctor.

“Wait here.” The Doctor turned to him, moving to the curtain.

“Is there a problem?” Steve asked, frowning a little.

“Just wait here.” The doctor repeated his instruction before he walked out.

Steve paused for a second, glancing over his right shoulder at a sign warning against lying on enlistment forms before he glanced at the curtain, cold dread filling him. Shit, Bucky was right, they’d caught up with him. Jumping down off the bed he sat heavily in a chair and began to pull on his shoes when someone entered the cubicle. He glanced up and saw a Military Police officer looking at him and he swallowed a little nervously. But before he could say anything another man entered, the man Steve had walked past about forty minutes or so previously in the foyer, and he was clutching a file in his hands.

“Thank you.” The man spoke to the Police Officer who left, pulling the curtains closed behind him. Steve watched as the man turned to face him, his hands behind his back. “So, you want to go overseas.” The man pulled the file from behind him, opening it “Kill some Nazis.”

“Excuse me?”

“Dr. Abraham Erskine.” The man closed the folder and walked over as Steve stood up, shaking his hand “I represent the Strategic Scientific Reserve.”

“Steve Rogers” Steve nodded, noting the man’s accent as he placed the file on the medical bed and started to look through it. “Where are you from?”

“Queens. 73rd Street and Utopia Parkway. Before that, Germany.” He adjusted his glasses as he glanced at Steve “This troubles you?”

“No.” Steve replied honestly, shaking his head.

“Where are you from, Mr. Rogers?” Erskine asked, resting both his hands on the bench “Mmm? Is it New Haven? Or Paramus? Five exams in five different cities.”

“That might not be the right file.” Steve began to try and get out of whatever trouble he was in but Erskine was quick to cut him off.

“No, it’s not the exams I’m interested in. It’s the five tries.” Erskine closed the file, picking it up “But you didn’t answer my question.” He strode over and stopped in front of Steve “Do you want to kill Nazis?”

Steve glanced to the side before he looked at Erskine “Is this a test?”

“Yes.” The man replied bluntly and Steve took a deep breath, before he answered as honestly as he could.

“I don’t wanna kill anyone.” He shook his head, raising his eyes to meet Erskine’s “I don’t like bullies. I don’t care where they’re from.”

“Well, there are already so many big men fighting this war. Maybe what we need now is the little guy, huh?” Erskine smiled before he turned to leave “I can offer you a chance” he said, whipping the curtains open “Only a chance.”

Steve couldn’t believe his ears. Was this Doctor guy actually telling him he’d done it, that he’d finally made it into the army? He had no idea what the Strategic Science Reserve was, or why Erskine had questioned him so, but right now he didn’t care.

“I’ll take it.” He said, hastily grabbing his belongings and following Erskine out.

“Good.” Erskine placed the file down on the desk and picked up a stamp, before replacing it and reaching for another “So where is the little guy from, actually?”

Steve smiled “Brooklyn.”

Erskine smiled back, stamped the form before closing the file and handing it to Steve. “Congratulations, soldier.”

Steve hastily opened it up and did a double take as he saw the stamp was a 1A this time, not 4f. He let out a deep breath and glanced up to thank the man, but he’d already left.

“You’ll be sent your papers and instructions shortly” Another man spoke to him, taking the file off him and handing him back the recruitment slip. Steve nodded. “Be ready, the SSR are on a schedule.”

Steve nodded, before he was shown out of the room. Still in a daze he clutched the piece of paper in his hand and wandered back to the area where he’d left Bucky before. And then he remembered Katie.

Shit.

He hastily made his way outside the building and headed back to the pavilion, weaving his way through the crowds. One bonus to being small was that it made it easy to do so. He found the cider cart and saw her waiting, chatting to the man behind the counter, her brown hair hanging round her shoulders, rouged lips which curled up into a smile as she spotted him approaching.

“You’re late.” Katie looked at him and Steve flushed. “I was beginning to think you’d stood me up.”

“I wouldn’t do that, my ma taught me better.” He gave her a small smile “I was just...” he waved his enlistment paper at her and she frowned a little

“You enlisted?”

He nodded “Yup.” “Wow.” Katie blinked, “Erm, congratulations, I guess. Is that the right word?”

“It is when you’ve tried and been rejected several times already.” Steve shrugged before he snorted “Story of my life.”

“That girl before was fuckin’ rude.” Katie’s eyes narrowed and Steve blinked at the profanity coming from her mouth before she rolled her eyes “Don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact I swore means I’m gonna go to hell.” She snorted “If it does, then I got that particular ticket a long time ago.”

“Sorry, I was…” he took a deep breath “For such a pretty woman you certainly…er…”

“Have a filthy mouth?” she asked and Steve snorted, shrugging as he looked away, his lips curling up into a crooked smile as he raised his eyebrows. She leaned closer to him, her lips brushing his ear as she whispered “You have no idea.”

Steve swallowed at the blatant innuendo causing her to laugh at him even more before she nudged him with her elbow “Come on soldier, what do you want to drink?”

Soldier…that was the second time in 10 minutes he’d been called that, and Steve liked it much more coming from her. He watched her for a second before he realised he was staring and she jerked her head towards the stall.

“Cat got your tongue Stevie?” she grinned and he took a deep breath “What do you want?”

“Erm, an ale…please…hang on.” he began fishing in his pocket but Katie gently wrapped a hand around his wrist.

“No need.” she smiled, as the man behind the counter held out the ale for Steve along with a cup of cider for her. She took it with a thanks and smiled, taking a sip. “Put it on the tab, will you?”

The stall attendant snorted and nodded “Whatever you say, Katie.”

She turned away and started walking slowly over to an exhibit, Steve falling into step besides her.

“How does he know ya?” Steve asked. Katie looked at him as she swallowed a sip of her cider

“Because I work here…well, I do at the moment.” She smiled as Steve looked at her blankly “I helped organise this.” She waved her hand around.

“You work for Howard Stark?”

“Kinda.” Katie shrugged “Now come on, I’m not working now and I wanna see how everything looks.”

They walked around the expo grounds, taking in the sights and various attractions. Steve was surprised to find his awkwardness ebbing away with each minute he spent in Katie’s company. She was down to Earth, easy to talk to and made him feel comfortable about himself…although his good spirits might have also been due to the fact he’d finally made it into the army. His meeting with Dr Erskine had baffled him a little, all truth be told, but he’d liked the man. There was something about him that told Steve he could trust him, and Steve was normally a pretty good judge of character.

By the time they’d done pretty much a lap of the main area of the Pavillion, stopping to examine The Synthetic Man in great detail, Steve was surprised to find that he’d spent over an hour with a woman who hadn’t been seeking to lose him at the first opportunity, quite the opposite in fact. On more than one occasion he noticed men looking in her direction, then to his with puzzled expressions on their face, and he had to admit was it the other way round he’d also probably be slightly surprised to see them together. She was a good 2 inches taller than him, but he was used to that, she was pretty, vivacious…well out of his league all things considered. But she was good company, and he was thoroughly disappointed when they seemed to be heading back towards the place they’d started, signalling their time together was likely coming to an end.

“So, do you need to find Barnes or…” she looked at him and Steve chuckled.

“Er no, no. He’ll be…busy.” Steve shrugged

“What he just ditched you for those girls?” Katie frowned.

“No, not entirely. I ditched him, well, I went to join the army. He doesn’t approve.” Steve finished, explaining slightly.

“Approve of what?”

“Me signin’ up.

“Why not?”

“Doesn’t think I can cope.” Steve shrugged “I wasn’t exactly a healthy kid so…”

“Well they let you in so you can’t be that bad.”

Steve wrinkled his nose and shook his head slightly “Some doctor in there offered me a chance, what can I say? Said that there were so many big guys fighting, maybe they needed a little one.”

At that Katie stopped walking and looked at him. “Wait, it was a doctor that accepted you?”

“Yeah,” Steve frowned

“You mean one of the Medical Recruitment Officers?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Steve’s frown deepened “He was with some Scientific Division” he looked at Katie, who was looking right back at him, her eyes wide “Wait, is there something wrong?”

“No, nothing…just surprised me a little, that’s all.” She looked around, as if she was searching for someone and Steve watched her, a little confused as she chewed her lip with an air of contemplation before she looked back at him, her green eyes locking onto his with a softness in them that made him go weak at the knees, well, weaker than normal “Thank you for keeping me company tonight Steve, I had fun.”

“Me too.” He said earnestly “Hey, if you want, I mean only if you want, we could maybe meet up again, you know, before I get my posting?” At that Katie’s face fell and Steve sighed, he’d blown it. She’d only asked him to accompany her round he expo out of politeness, duty even as a thank you for his intervention on the street a few weeks back, and now he’d put her on the spot. “It’s ok.” He started to back track “I get that you’re probably busy and get asked that all the time…”

“No, it’s not that.” She shook her head “I’d love to go out with you Steve, but I leave town tomorrow. I’m needed back at…well, my other job.”

“Oh, ok.” Steve popped a shoulder up, trying to hide his disappointment. “Well, I err…good luck. With whatever that job is.”

Katie laughed “It’s me who should be wishing you good luck, trust me.” She cocked her head before she took a deep breath “Just remember Steve, the world needs men like you, be a shame if we lost you all in the war.”

At her compliment he felt himself once more flush, and the heat in his neck rose even more as she leaned down and pressed her lips softly to his cheek. She pulled back a little, locking her eyes onto his and he swallowed, the lump in his throat now only rivalled by the one he was starting to feel in his slacks. And then, he had no idea how it happened but her lips were suddenly pressed to his. He froze momentarily, but then he went with his instinct and mirrored her movements, his eyes fluttering closed. Her hands gently curled over his shoulder, his automatically falling to her hips, shaking a little against the fabric of her dress as the kiss deepened slightly, the warm edge of her tongue flicking at his lips. He parted his mouth a little, allowing her to curl her tongue against his, a movement that made him shudder and he was beyond disappointed when she pulled away. She smiled against his mouth, her nose bumping his slightly as his cheeks felt hotter than the sun. He knew he was blushing, furiously, having just had his first proper kiss in the middle of a huge exhibition, but Katie seemed completely nonplussed as she smiled at him.

“For luck.” She whispered, stepping back slightly, before she turned and headed away, casting a glance back over her shoulder at him, flashing him another cheeky little wink. “See you around.”

Steve floundered a little, mouth gaping as he watched her disappear into the crowd, and with a final shake of his head and a deep, steadying breath he headed for the exit.

 As it turned out Steve didn’t have long to wait for his posting at all. The following day he received his papers assigning him to Camp Lehigh in New Jersey as part of his recruitment to the SSR’s “Operation Rebirth” programme, whatever that was. He assumed he’d receive more details upon arrival. It wasn’t that which surprised him the most however, it was the date upon which he was ordered to report. Wednesday. As in, tomorrow. Whilst it didn’t give him much time to prepare, it didn’t bother him too much. He had meagre belongings anyways and anything he didn’t want to take with him he packed up into smaller boxes with the help of Bucky’s teenage sister Rebecca, Buck’s dad promising to keep it safe for him until he got back.

Winnie was beside herself when Steve broke the news that he too was enlisting, but she wished him well and made him promise to write. As did the Tromleys, who both took the news even worse than Bucky’s family had. Ada having first burst into tears then hugged him so hard he thought she was going to crush him half to death, whilst Mr Tromley had shook his hand and warned him that if he didn’t come back alive, with all 4 limbs, he’d kill Steve himself.

The morning rolled round ridiculously fast and both the Tromleys and Mr and Mrs Barnes insisted on seeing him off.  Once more Ada and Winnie hugged him tightly before Mr Tromley and Mr Barnes shook his hand, the latter promising Steve he would sort out everything with his landlord, taking the key to his small apartment in the tenement building where Steve had lived in all his life. Steve felt a little pang of emotion at that point, this was the last physical tie he really had to his mother but he took a deep breath letting it go slowly. She’d been dead now for 7 years and anything that remained of hers in the building was all safely stored.

No, Steve had absolutely no doubts about what he was doing. This was all he had ever wanted, to follow in his father’s footsteps and so, at 6am on the 16th June 1943 Steve Rogers boarded the Army bus that arrived at the bus station to take him and a number of other recruits to New Jersey, leaving the place he’d called home for his entire life behind.

[swshadowcouncil]

It’s pretty ironic in retrospect that when the Sequel Trilogy began, there was a large pushback from racists and bigots that a black man and a woman couldn’t be the protagonists in the newest trilogy of Star Wars movies. People were honestly trying to boycott it because a white guy wasn’t the protagonist.

Now years later, the trilogy has come almost full circle with people refusing to see Finn as the co-protagonist of the ST or John Boyega as the male lead. I mean, if we want to look at it deeply enough, some people don’t even think Rey is the true protagonist, but Kylo is. It’s rather funny, in a sad way with the lack of self-awareness, that there are so many fans of the ST (Sequel Trilogy) that have forgotten, or don’t know, that originally there was a giant pushback for these heroes not to be the protagonists, yet years later, fans are echoing the intent of these people without realizing it. Finn has been sadly the biggest victim of this ironic mess. From being one of the central characters in all of the marketing, merchandise, advertising, and basically present and in full view of everything ST related, to slowly being forcibly pushed way into the back and made small enough on posters, merchandise, and media coverage at times that you actually need to zoom in or hunt down a trusty magnifying glass to find him.

The problem has extended from the #boycottstarwarsvii movement on social media in response to Boyega’s casting in 2014, to Lucasfilm (LFL) allowing multiple artworks to be created with Finn excluded, placed in the back, or smaller than the supporting characters, to the EU stories where he is sidelined, depicted as a joke, or generally just treated in a way that would make any sane black person, or person in general, go “Yikes!”. This isn’t an easy conversation to have, nor is it something many people even know how to approach, but from the perception of many fans, especially black fans and other fans of color, this comes across as pretty racist at best. So, without further delay, let us begin.

#BoycottStarWarsVII

Friendly reminder, when people bash the idea of Finn being Force Sensitive, you make this guy smile.

Yeah, I’m not going to sugarcoat this, John being cast as Finn, the male lead/protagonist, alongside Daisy’s Rey, the female lead/protagonist, was met with a LOT of backlash. For those who don’t remember, or just weren’t following the TFA like a lunatic like other losers (me), there was a hashtag going around, #BoycottStarWarsVII, which if you couldn’t tell from the title, was for the boycott of TFA. The main reason for this all circles back to John Boyega being the lead that had many bigoted racists in their feelings (translation: mad).

How bad was it? Well, let me just show you:

  #gallery-0-37 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-37 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 100%; } #gallery-0-37 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-37 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

These are the ones I can actually post. The others I have kept/found I won’t be posting due to the content in them being beyond disgusting. This was all over the place. Racists were rejecting the idea of a black male lead in Star Wars tooth and nail to the point of demanding people to boycott the newest movie.

So, how did the boycott go?

If you look closely, you can see Bob Iger’s tears of joy next to the dollar signs

Yeah, it failed on every level imaginable!

Something interesting about it though was that while some people were speaking up about the racist treatment that had been thrown at Finn:

You’re a good man, Trevor Noah. Thank you.

Others had remained silent on it completely. There was an odd amount of radio silence on how the public was treating Finn and his actor John Boyega, and looking back on it now, when there is still a great amount of pushback against the character and actor, I can’t help but feel that silence was a choice, rather than ignorance. Which brings me to the main topic of this very article:

#WhereIsFinn?

The #WhereIsFinn movement was created by fans of the character who started to notice something…odd. Now, I can’t actually pinpoint the first moment Finn’s erasure had started, but I do remember the most prominent and famous one that many in the community still remember to this day, and that was the Chinese Poster for The Force Awakens.

Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again

Oh, this kriffing poster! Years later and my blood still boils like Anakin’s did on Mustafar! Now, I’m not pointing any fingers at any one individual at Lucasfilm, yet I highly doubt that if Rey was made smaller than a BB-8, or if Kylo was taken off of the poster, whoever said yes to this would have had the same response. Finn was made significantly smaller on the official Chinese poster for TFA. Now, for those reading this who don’t know, racism against black people isn’t just an American thing, I know, surprising, right? It’s something that happens everywhere, and movies with a black lead don’t usually do well overseas. So, someone made Finn smaller, and it somehow slipped through the cracks. A one-time thing though, right? It was a mistake and it’d never happen again. Lucasfilm would never try to make the co-protagonist of the sequel trilogy smaller or treat him with disrespect…right?

  #gallery-0-38 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-38 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-38 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-38 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Well, I guess that’s one way to avoid the Chinese poster situation. Just make him small by default

Rian, turn on your location. I just want to talk.

Johnson…just…why?

The longer you look at this image, the more you likely will want to die inside.

Don’t worry, guys. We got rid of the black character for now!

I’m like 85% sure the Nines (TR-8R) is making these with Phasma.

Well this is just erase. Not much to say about it. Finn’s not even here, I guess he wasn’t in TFA or TLJ.

I don’t know if making Finn smaller than Poe, and shoving him behind Chewie, is an accurate depiction of who were the protagonists of TFA

Just…why is it always Finn?

No, for those of you wondering, Finn isn’t allowed to even win the fight. BB-8 does and Poe lectures Finn.

Okay, why is Poe constantly being made bigger than Finn? Would this be approved if he was made bigger than Rey? Did someone sell their soul to Papa Palptine?

It sounds petty, but notice Rey and Kylo aren’t being made small, Poe, who’s not the co-protagonist, is made fairy decent sized, but Finn again is placed behind him and smaller.

Yeah, it’s been a LONG few years

Some of this is official artwork, some of these are posters, others are book covers, the backwards tux is how Rian Johnson thought Finn couldn’t dress himself, the leaky bacta suit was included in the film, etc.  These are far from the only times Finn has been made small or been made a fool of since post-TFA Star Wars, but I wanted to give some type of understanding to what’s going on. Now, I know some people may be wondering: “Well he’s there. What’s the big deal?”

Well, to understand what it’s a big deal, you have to understand how Finn originally was marketed and depicted.

  Regardless of your views on if Finn is Force Sensitive or not–which, if you’re doubtful, let me shamelessly plug another article I wrote about there being two awakenings in TFA (click here)–Finn was always presented as the male lead of the ST: heroic, brave, and important to the story. The idea of him being just as important to the ST as Rey, or the antagonist Kylo, wasn’t something that people scoffed at, which is a stark contrast to how things are going now.

Through these last few years, there has been a trend of individuals trying to remove Finn’s importance from Star Wars, whether it be by depicting him as smaller than characters he’s narratively bigger than, leaving him off of posters and artwork, depicted him as a joke in various forms of media like comics or books, or even just cropping him out of pictures completely. There are even attempts to make him seem less important on Wookieepedia or TvTropes.com, and it’s having a domino effect with how the powers that be see the character. Disney and Lucasfilm are businesses at the end of the day, and like any business, they do what’s best for them first and foremost. If certain fans and media go out of their way to erase, sideline, or mock Finn, then Disney and Lucasfilm will not try to course correct it, but rather let it continue or make less content for the character. Then fans of the character get less interested in content regarding Finn, and the cycle continues.

At first, many didn’t think much of it, yet as time went on, the number of instances that it seemed people were going out of their way to depict Finn as a supporting character or sidekick were starting to pile up. Its honestly become a trend now that if new content is coming out that has to do with the sequel trilogy era, you might as well play bingo for one of the ways Finn will be depicted.

We have him pushed to the back, looking like a supporting character/sidekick:

  #gallery-0-40 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-40 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-40 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-40 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Finn is once again in the back, with lighter skin for some reason???

Finn once again is made smaller and has lighter skin…okay

How are there 3 different versions of this cover and Poe’s head is still orbiting Tatootine while Finn is smaller than Darth Vader’s will to live?

Is Phasma the one green lighting these? Is she still mad?! She’s probably alive! Nobody is ever really gone, remember! Maul does!

If that’s not your flavor, then we have The Rise of Skywalker media coverage, which consists of basically Rey and Kylo, with article writers that seem to forget everything about the last two movies and can’t remember that they’re not on Archive of Our Own anymore.

  #gallery-0-41 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-41 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-41 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-41 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

The Journey to Rise of Skywalker really isn’t doing too hot for anything Finn related, if you couldn’t tell by the giant orbiting space station that is Poe’s head on the cover for Resistance Reborn. In Spark of the Resistance, Finn isn’t even in the book, sent off on some subplot with Chewie that likely we’ll never hear from again. Maybe he went back to Canto Bight to free the slave children instead of the horses. Side note, whose idea was it to have the former slave child of two decades (Finn) not even comment on the slave children at Canto Bight? Oh…yeah, never mind. There’s also Resistance Reborn, which is again more about Poe than anyone. There’s even a scene where Poe has to tie Finn’s tie because he doesn’t know how to do it, and so many people are now flashing back to the backwards tux.

At this point, I can already hear that person who always appears in discussions about Finn saying “Who cares? He’s just a supporting character who was a janitor. John isn’t the male lead”

First of all, go jump into a Sarlacc pit!

Second, let’s talk facts:

Huh, Finn sure does have a LOT of screen time for someone that doesn’t matter. Oh, well. Maybe, he was there for moral support.

As of both TFA and TLJ, Finn comes in 2nd to only Rey, while having 15 more mins of screen time than Kylo. In fact, in two movies, Finn has more screen time than Han or Leia had in their first two OT movies. Hell, Finn almost has as much as Obi-Wan did in his first two PT movies and Finn lost around 16 mins of screentime because he had the most deleted scenes out of TLJ. 7 deleted scenes if you’re curious. No, I don’t know why, beyond the fact that one of them had more Canto Bight in it, and yeah, that one should have been cut.

See, that’s the funny thing I’ve never understood about people saying that Kylo is the real co-protagonist and male lead, or that Poe is bigger narratively than Finn. Finn still has more screen time than Kylo in both TFA and TLJ and Poe isn’t even in the same league as Finn’s screen time in either of his two film appearances.

Further, John’s Finn represents something not seen in the Star Wars franchise ever before – the first and only black lead of any Star Wars movie let alone trilogy. Lando and Mace Windu didn’t exceed 10min of screen time in any of their films, and Ahmed Best’s Jar Jar in The Phantom Menace was severely reduced and nearly erased following the toxic backlash that drove the actor to contemplate suicide. And while James Earl Jones’ voice of Darth Vader is a timeless and iconic addition of black voice acting to the Star Wars franchise, Finn, and Finn alone, represents something more as a leading face of the concluding arc to arguably the most successful episodic series in cinematic history.

The real problem here is that there are people in the Star Wars community that just don’t want Finn to be the co-protagonist, the irony of which is amazing since it’s just the TFA boycott all over again. For every time someone says that Finn is the co-protagonist of the ST, there will be someone there to comment that he’s not. Kylo is, or in fact, Kylo is the SOLE protagonist of the ST and Rey is below him. So the irony that originally racists and sexists were boycotting the ST because they didn’t want to have a woman and a black man as the protagonists, have now turned into “fans” in general claiming that the true protagonist of the entire sequel trilogy is Kylo, the white guy.

Ironic indeed, papa Palpatine

Now, people putting Kylo above Finn isn’t the only cause of Finn’s erasure. As you can tell above or in recent merch or artwork, Poe is being depicted in front of Finn, bigger than him, more heroic, etc. Now, there is no problem with Poe getting more of a spotlight. But when every single thing that comes out is constantly depicting Poe, a character who is at best a supporting role that was upgraded to the status of one of the main characters in TLJ, as bigger and narratively more important than Finn, who dominated the marketing for TFA and still has more narrative presence in the trilogy than Poe, it comes off as colorism at worst and biased favoritism at best from LFL. Recently there’s been a drought of actual Finn content that treats the character with respect or even content at all with him in it at all. Meanwhile, the EU for the ST is practically filled with Poe to the point of arguably oversaturation for some. Now, I like Poe and I like Oscar, and maybe others can’t see it because they’re not used to colorism, but as a black man myself (Kenyan-Brazilian to be exact), I’d be lying if I said that elevating a white-passing Latino man of color like Oscar’s Poe while slowly erasing a darker-skinned Black man like John’s Finn doesn’t look like clear colorism on LFL’s part from the perspective of many black fans. For black fans, it seems like there is a constant battle to remind people of Finn’s status in the trilogy while everyone is trying to put Kylo and Poe above him.

  #gallery-0-42 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-42 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-42 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-42 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Since 2016 when Finn’s erasure started to take place, people on social media have been trying to bring attention to this problem, yet they’ve been met with others in the fandom ignoring them, or suddenly saying it doesn’t matter and changing the topic. In fact, recently, while even more people have been trying to bring attention to #WhereIsFinn, the #WhereisRose tag was created. Not only was it picked up by Nerdist, but major social media accounts agreed there was a problem with how Rose (who, mind you, is a supporting character) wasn’t on the initial merch, but were silent about the co-protagonist being shoved in the back behind Poe, made smaller, or not being present in the marketing in the same levels he was at the start.

  #gallery-0-43 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-43 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 100%; } #gallery-0-43 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-43 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

I’m not knocking you for trying, Nerdiest, but it’d help if you also talked about #WhereIsFinn that has been going on since 2016.

It’s actually ironic that OP has never touched on Finn’s erase or his placement in the back…

The thing about #WhereIsRose is not that it’s a bad thing to bring attention to the fact that Rose isn’t in the TROS marketing or merch, it’s the fact that these same people who are fighting for what they feel is an injustice, are totally ignoring the blatant racism and erasure of what’s going on with Finn. The difference is, some of these people aren’t even overtly racist, but they are against the idea of Finn being the co-protagonist. So this erasure of him isn’t seen as a bad thing, it’s seen as what should be. For instance, there is a vocal shipping community in the Star Wars fandom that has ironically been echoing many of the same things that the bigots did when the ST began. Only instead of the bigots who said “Finn shouldn’t be,” you have shippers saying “Finn isn’t” whenever it is said that Finn is the co-protagonist, or the male lead, etc, etc.

Another puzzling aspect of #WhereIsRose, is that if the objective co-lead of the trilogy is getting sidelined, or artistically segregated into tiny portrayals with the other black characters, what hope is there to give a supporting POC character proper justice and representation? In fact, we’ve seen the result of successfully gaining attention for #WhereIsRose without any thought or consideration for #WhereIsFinn.

Take for instance this The Rise of Skywalker art (below), which segregated the black characters to be much smaller than Poe, and left out Rose. After the artist acknowledged #WhereIsRose backlash, the artist then added in Rose, placing her in front of the other black characters. In doing so, the art now further segregates and minimizes the black characters behind Rose and under Poe. The artist has yet to acknowledge the #WhereisFinn trend pointing out the artistic segregation even though they were quick to acknowledge the #WhereisRose trend AND act upon it.

  #gallery-0-44 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-44 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 100%; } #gallery-0-44 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-44 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Approving artistic representation such as that above spells out an extremely negative portrayal of ALL black characters, since not a single one of them could break a bigger feature than Poe – a secondary supporting character. Regardless of the artist’s intent, and without their responding to or acknowledging the #WhereIsFinn trend – it sends a message of favoritism and apathy at best, and accurately portrays colorism and anti-blackness at worst.

You see, that is in of itself is part of the reason why #WhereIsFinn even exists. Finn’s erasure is coming from all sides at this point, and only certain fans even care about it or recognize it, most of them being fans of color who are openly getting ignored or mocked. I’m not saying it has to be #WhereIsFinn vs #WhereIsRose, but if you think the lack of Rose merch is a problem and gives a voice to the racists and sexists, and see ZERO problems with Finn’s erasure and sidelining over the last few years, then there is a severe problem with how you are seeing the world and its problems with race. No, it is not right for a black man to be the co-protagonist, be on equal footing with two other white characters, then years later be placed in the back of everything or not even shown at all. There is a problem with this and people need to see it. No one is saying that we shouldn’t ask about Rose, regardless of if she is a supporting character or not, but all we are asking, and by we, I’m now referring to myself and many black fans at this moment, is that the same type of energy be used to help defend Finn and John Boyega from the racist treatment that has been going on since 2014.

People stood up for Rey, people are standing up for Rose, yet whenever it is time to stand up for Finn, no one does a damn thing. All many fans of Finn are asking for is that the same effort people give in fighting sexism or racism against other characters, they do the same for Finn.

But to be the devil’s advocate, for once in this argument, let me tackle why #WhereIsFinn isn’t picking up the same coverage that #WhereIsRey did get and #WhereIsRose is now picking up.

People. ARE. TIRED.

There is nothing more disheartening for a black fan, or a fan of Finn in general, who really wants good content for the character, than to be met with a comic that projects the negative attitudes that the fandom has for Finn by calling him a janitor in the description or having him scream “fear my mop!” while dirty water drips on his shoulder as Kylo stares him down. Regardless of Canon already debunking multiple times that Finn wasn’t just not a janitor, but rather one of the best cadets that the stormtrooper program ever had, seeing Finn depicted as a joke or a sidekick just makes fans and non-fans of the character not want to even consume his content. No one wants to see their heroes constantly made to look bad, and that’s something parts of the community and LFL do at times, which has a domino effect on how people absorb Finn content.

The second reason, that is in relation to everything we’ve talked about, is that Finn barely gets good, solo content made for him at all. There aren’t even many people championing for the character to be seen anymore because of the fact that all attempts to bring awareness to this problem, have fallen on deaf ears. There isn’t an “FN-2187 comic series or novel” that is used to flesh out Finn’s life and suffering when he was in the First Order while providing world-building for the FO and its characters. There isn’t a “Finn’s journal” that helps dive into the character’s inner POV and feelings throughout his adventure. In contrast, there has been a decent amount of solo content for Rose, Rey, Poe, and as of recently, Kylo, yet we still have nothing for standalone for Finn that’s detailed and personable.

  #gallery-0-45 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-45 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-45 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-45 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

The comics that come out give fans of the other characters have moments like this:

  #gallery-0-46 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-46 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-46 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-46 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

As Finn was being lectured by Poe, the fandom cheered because it looked like Poe was in a Jedi Robe.

A Rey comic that explores her abandonment issues before leaving to find Luke’s fish nun island

This one IS a Kylo comic, where he’s doing backflips and screaming ‘Your God is dead”.

Hux’s comic, that dives into some of his past trauma and his nightmarish adventure with Kylo “I haven’t showered in a month” Ren

Poe doing his best Captain Kirk impression as he dressed like Spock

And Rose and Paige remembering their sad childhood

Snoke’s comic that is basically a Kylo comic featuring Snoke

Phasma just being Phasma

Rey kicking names and taking ass

General Princess Space Mom and Rose. No jokes here. Move along.

While what little Finn fans get looks like this:

  #gallery-0-47 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-47 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-47 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-47 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

First image of we see of a comic featuring Finn, is him getting wrecked by some steroid using alien. Spoiler alert, he doesn’t win the fight and he’s lectured after. Yay!

After years of trying to make it clear Finn wasn’t a janitor by citing Lucasfilm’s own canon, Finn’s comic description calls him a janitor, shows a preview of him playing with a mop he doesn’t know how to use. Why? Who the kriff knows

It’s rather hard for people to feel anything but disappointment for this character they cared about because of how he’s been handled, and that disappointment is having a negative effect on how everyone in the community, media, and even Lucasfilm treats Finn.

This character means something to people:

This character is an inspiration to many black fans, not just because he’s the lead in one of the biggest franchises in all of cinema, but because he’s someone who was oppressed by a system that enslaved him and chose to be better, to do the right thing, and stand up for what’s right, regardless of what the cost of it was to him. Seeing so many people at LFL, in the Star Wars community, and in the media not only refuse to treat the character with any respect, but also act like he deserves disrespect, is heartbreaking to many many fans of Finn who relate to the character, regardless of their skin color, age, or gender.

  #gallery-0-48 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-48 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-48 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-48 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

It doesn’t matter what you are in this world. We all want the same thing in life, and that’s to feel like we belong. This article isn’t being written to target anyone, it’s not being written to start any fandom drama. The reason this article exists is that there are a lot of fans not getting their voices heard when it comes to trying to fight for Finn, and we want to give that voice a platform. We want people to hear them because this message is important. FINN. IS. IMPORTANT. He’s important for reasons of representation, he’s important to people who want to believe they can change their life for the better, and he’s important to the story of this trilogy. All we’re asking, all anyone is asking, is for him to get the treatment he deserves from the media, community, and LFL. That is why people are asking where is Finn.

  “Finn could not simply be a sidekick or key ally in the story; he needed a story arc of his own. For the first time, The Force Awakens offered a Star Wars film in which two characters, not only one, are undertaking the Hero’s Journey.”

“Each of these archetypes appears in the Hero’s Journeys of Rey and Finn – but not always in the same way or with the same character in the respective storylines. This makes The Force Awakens an interesting study in the use of archetypes.The Hero, of course, is the central protagonist of the journey. In Rey’s adventure, she is the Hero; in Finn’s adventure, he bears that mantle and Rey fills a different archetype.” – Tricia Barr

Thank you for reading, and may the force be with you…Always.

Where is Finn?: The Erasure and Sidelining of a Star Wars Protagonist #StarWars #WhereIsFinn #WheresFinn It's pretty ironic in retrospect that when the Sequel Trilogy began, there was a large pushback from racists and bigots that a black man and a woman couldn't be the protagonists in the newest trilogy of Star Wars movies.

[sol1056]

five anons on the MFE pilots

 Opinions on the... very heavy emphasis on the new characters introduced in VLD s7?

...this business with introducing the GG cadets, paired with the possibility that they might attempt a spinoff with them reminds me of how they handled Voltron Force, the series previous. Not sure how familiar you are with it, but it also featured new cadets alongside the OG cast, posed them as "the next gen", and were originally supposed to be the stars of their own series entirely. Obviously the execs didn't like that very much in the end, and morphed the project into a direct DotU continuation, dropping two out of five pilots and putting the original team back in (and it shows somewhat in the writing) but it's interesting how convergent evolution might happen in the end with DW.

I suspect this is why every new Gundam series starts with its own premise, world, and characters: because you get attached to certain protagonists, and (especially in well-written, character-driven stories) those protagonists become what propels you through the story. My guess would be it’s less the execs’ personal preference (or else they wouldn’t have greenlit the spinoff in the first place), and more their recognition of audience disinterest. 

This is not to say you can’t do a spin-off, but you need to look at the franchises that managed it successfully. When Star Wars kicked off again with TFA, we got a full introduction to the new characters --- and then old faces reappeared, but they were now in support roles. The original cast all had solid closure in the original trilogy, which made their appearances (among others) in the new movie feel like passing the baton to the next generation. 

Korra followed the same template, with the previous generation making appearances, but not dominating. (I haven’t seen any of Boruto, but from what I’ve caught, it seems the story keeps circling back to the first generation cast.) Even Star Trek found ways to bring in its original cast to its first television spin-off (I mean, literally ‘next generation’). 

There’s something to unpack in the way these stories successfully shifted the audience’s loyalties to the new generation of characters. In particular, that none introduced the new generation until the first one had full closure -- and having done so, then the first generation remained part of the world, but not in the forefront. I never saw VF, but if they tried to jump-start a new story without even recognizing the original cast, I’d mark that down as the biggest error. 

I'm wondering if they're going to try and use the new cadet characters as the pitch characters for Vehicle Voltron... doubtful, but the thought makes me giggle.

Okay, I take that back. Introducing the MFE pilots in the first iteration -- before the first story has wrapped -- is a much larger error. It’s premature, and it comes across almost as impatience for the (current) story to be done. 

It’d be one thing if the MFE pilots were simply background voices, not even given full names, or even names at all. Let them be easter eggs, for audiences to look back and find their earliest appearance, unremarked-upon (as someone already has, looking back to the pilot to find one of them, iirc). 

That note of impatience --- right as the main protagonists’ stories should be coming to closure --- is destructive. It’s hard to root for new protagonists when they’re simultaneously stealing screen-time from the very characters and conflicts we’ve been invested in for 60+ episodes so far. I would not be surprised if that dislike is hard to overcome, if DW were to introduce a spin-off.

Did DW know about the MFE pilots? How much screentime they were gonna get and ... made [the paladins] look like incompetent children? Did they know or did they see the final product & were ???? EPs clearly don't care for VLD’s story, as it’s not their story, [and they] broke it to get what they wanted, then proceeded to kick the pieces aside to make room for MFE pilots who were clearly the team they wanted so they can get spinoff greenlit & tell their own story. But DW?

It’s an open question, because it requires knowing how much oversight VLD’s really gotten. My understanding is that a pitch is often rather glossy. The EPs may never even seen reason to mention Adam would later die in a pointless battle. That battle, and the new pilots, were probably introduced with little more than, “and then the paladins get to earth and rejoin their old classmates, who’ve graduated into being fighter pilots, and will be Voltron’s support forces just like the rebels were at the end of S4.” 

That parallel is accurate, at least in the broad strokes. In the particulars, it’s wildly off, since we only got first names for maybe three or four rebels? Seeing how many bit the dust in S4′s finale, that could’ve been an immensely more powerful two-parter had we been given reason to care about any of them. 

I kept wondering why are we spending SO much time with the MFE pilots (& GG), 1/3 of the season! With them acting more competent than the (orange clad) Voltron team who just y'know, had been fighting (and winning) a war in space for years. And they STILL all felt flat, unlike our team where they all got us hooked instantly. Now we know the EPs vision of VLD was this team, and they’re willing to ruin VLD so they can get their own team off the ground in a new series. With terrible writing, of course.

Seeing the paladins --- with or without their lions --- put back in cadet orange felt like a slap. Seeing Allura in cadet orange was outright being punched. The woman whose father designed the damn castle, and Coran as the man whose grandfather built the damn thing, and they’re both in cadet orange? 

The Garrison’s leaders should’ve been on their knees thanking the Alteans for lending their knowledge and technology to Earth’s cause, not treating then like random aliens who tagged along. The Blades may be a badly-used sub-plot, but at least Kolivan had the respect to bow when he met the princess. Out of respect for her family --- and her loss --- if nothing else. 

Beyond that, the entire point of coming home --- in terms of story structure --- is to show how much the characters have (theoretically) grown, now that they’re nearing the end of their story. Putting all the focus on new characters stole the current characters’ thunder, and removed too many of their chances to shine. 

What should’ve been a triumphant return home became more of a case of the protagonists getting put in their place. The point of a story is to show how the protagonists outgrow their original world --- and their original concepts of themselves as the scaredy-cat, the too-young nerd, the insecure wannabe, the angry loner, the broken soldier. Their progression through a story is their path of becoming stronger and better. Not to end by sliding back into their original spots as if the intervening six seasons had taught them nothing. 

[sw-daydreamer]

Forgiveness is the path to redemption.

The catalyst in the creation of Kylo Ren is the precise moment Luke thinks about killing his nephew, albeit for a mere couple of seconds.

There are 2 different versions of that scene. 

TWO different points of view.

Ben remembers seeing hatred in his uncle’s eyes while Luke remembers feeling shame... and seeing  the fear in his nephew’s eyes. 

Their emotions are colouring the way they remember things, especially Ben, because he was young and afraid. The brain is complex, and so is memory recall. You can be convinced of remembering something accurately, but your state of mind at the time  might have altered your perception of actual events, worse even, the brain is actually capable of “reconstructing false memories” to fill in the gaps and recreate a story that never truly existed.  The reasons behind that can vary from a trauma to ‘suggestion’ (made to believe it happened and thus creating the memory). 

However, Luke did think about killing Ben and he did activate his lightsaber, that is not a lie. Variations between the 2 stories are subtle, but they’re not just about reading expressions and intent. 

1- What are the differences?

2- Why are the memories so different?

3- Forgive who and what?

1- What are the differences?

Luke’s memories: (2nd retelling)

You can see Luke’s fleeting anger, barely formed... 

(close up shot, we are meant to read him easily and the lightsaber is barely visible, mainly outside the frame, therefore diminishing its impact, it does not threaten)

The anger is already fading away, in a couple of seconds. Luke then lowers his lightsaber. 

(close up shot, the focus on micro emotions is visible, the features are relaxing, the tension is leaving, and the lightsaber has not moved. Regret is clear and obvious.)

Yet that moment is witnessed by Ben... (extreme close up on the face / eye)

which fills Luke with shame. He looks at him imploring his forgiveness,

(close up shot, Luke’s face is tilted, no lightsaber in the frame. He is pleading and there is no threat visible. We are meant to understand his mistake and empathise)

Ben grabs his lightsabers and attacks him. Luke is actually in a defensive position here, and screams “Ben, no!”

(Medium shot, the lightsabers are taking 1/3 of the frame. Ben’s face is slightly visible in the frame:  Luke’s memories are hyper aware of Ben’s actions and reactions. Luke’s face is in full light, we see clearly his features, begging Ben to stop.)

We’re meant to believe this version of events even more so  because it’s the second time we are told the story from Luke’s point of view, after being pressured by Rey to tell the truth, he is giving up the lie by omission, he is admitting the sin.

Ben’s memories:

Ben wakes up, and see his uncle ready to strike him.

(medium low angle shot, allows us to see Luke almost fully. Surrounded by darkness, there is a clear visible threat with the activated lightsaber, in the center of the frame. Because of the distance created by the medium shot we can’t easily read his expression, but his posture, shows him about to attack. The low angle shot accentuates the idea of power over Ben, who is absent from the frame.)

His facial features are showing no signs of regret, only anger and darkness. 

(close up shot, to further confirms the danger.)

He raises his lightsaber to strike.

Ben is the one in a defensive position here.  

(medium low angle shot, The threat and dominance emanating from Luke are accentuated by the low angle and the presence of the lightsabers in 2/3 of the frame as well as Luke’s features distorted by hatred.   Ben’s face remains absent from the shot. He is coded as the victim, in a position of weakness.. )

His hand shooting up is also reminiscent of Rey’s grabbing the same lightsaber in the throne room, an allusion to power play and search for control.

From a narrative point of view Ben’s memories are more interesting because they are the images he probably plays over and over again to sustain his resentment and need for vengeance or reparation. 

You did this... I will do it to you... you will hurt the way I did. / repeat.

 2 - Why are the memories so different?  

It may be due to the trauma of experiencing a direct threat from a person he should have trusted with his life. The memories must therefore match perfectly the acute distress he felt by painting Luke in a darker picture.  Luke’s betrayal becomes a sin in his eyes, a corruption of his trust in family, love, and all human bonds and it is reflected in his mind. The memory is more in tune with his emotions at the time than the facts. It’s not done consciously.

 His memories may also have been altered by Snoke’s manipulative influence before, adding bias and mistrust, and (or) after, distorting the reality of that fateful moment. When you are greatly hurt, it is only very natural to seek to protect yourself, and it is also so much easier to react to the hurt with anger and even violence, hence the creation of the Kylo Ren persona. Remembering Luke’s actions with such evil intent is also a way to refuse to forgive and keep justifying everyday the path of violence he has chosen.

His anger hides his vulnerability and hurt. It is a way to avoid feeling weak and foolish as Kylo himself puts it to his father in TFA:

“He was weak and foolish, like his father, so I destroyed him” 

Kylo / Ben is referring to his attempt to destroy the part of himself that sees goodness in others, and trusts,  while the part that feels anger and lacks empathy lives on.

3 - Forgive who and what?

Luke was so disheartened by the consequences  of his act, that he drowned himself in self loathing and hopelessness. When he first tells Rey what happened on that day, he tells an incomplete and inaccurate story,  because he is not ready to admit and  voice the truth, he just can’t be seen as any different from what he was before that tragic moment. Luke the hero, Luke the Jedi Master who protects and saves, Luke the Legend. Instead, he hides, cutting himself off from the Force, he hides from his family, Leia, he hides from himself, from the truth. He blames the Jedi. He is in a sort of limbo, waiting, incapable of moving on, alone in personal grief and resentment.

// Luke: it’s time for the Jedi to end 

Kylo / Ben :  I’ll destroy you, and her, and all of it //

When Rey finally confronts him, he lets it all out, he acknowledges the shame he feels.  It is freeing. Later he makes the conscious decision to let go of the self-hatred poisoning his mind, to open himself to the Force  and to accept to feel vulnerable. 

He forgives himself, when he finally stops hating himself.

On Crait  he calls Ben “kid”, a term of endearment used by Han Solo, there is no resentment.  

Luke is a flawed hero, who becomes a Legend all over again. He becomes one with the Force by choice. It is much more profound and inspiring to witness, because of his flaws, because the choices he finally made did not come easy.

I believe that Kylo/Ben will follow a similar path to forgiveness, though I am convinced there will be NO sacrifice of his life, power or limbs. I have explained before (see meta: Ben understood Luke’s sacrifice) how his wound of hurt and betrayal has been cleansed on Crait during his showdown with Luke. Luke’s sacrifice leaves him alone with his conscience and his own sin, and more than ever I think the killing of his father will haunt him in episode 9, as Luke foretells and as the fading dice foreshadow. It can’t be ignored.

He will  have to choose to forgive himself, first by admitting that he is hurting from what he has done.... When Rey confronts him on the killing of his father, he deflects the question although we sense his pain and conflict through out the movie, he does not voice it, he does not admit it.  He will have to stop hiding behind the Kylo Ren persona  he created to look unafraid and powerful unlike the day his own blood thought the Galaxy might be better off without him.

Luke’s deeply moving sacrifice is also a catalyst to forge a new memory, where truth, forgiveness and unconditional love are now associated with the Legend of Luke Skywalker, his uncle, who sacrifices himself because he believes the Galaxy will be a better place with Ben Solo, because he trusts In Rey’s words, in her and in her plea. 

For Kylo / Ben, forgiving HIMSELF means being able to reconcile the part of him he once despised for being weak, and the part of him who committed patricide. 

Forgiveness is not forgetting,  it is embracing failures from the past and letting go of the anger. 

Forgiveness is needed to be whole.

[alltingfinns]

“The Last Jedi is new and fresh!”

This is one of the weirder pieces of praise for the film. Because this movie was honestly a way bigger retread than The Force Awakens, and everyone and their grandma seems to delight in referring to TFA as A New Hope 2.0. Meanwhile TLJ is basically The Empire Strikes Back but “edgier” and with pieces of Return of the Jedi thrown in haphazardly.  

Breakdown under cut (spoilers obviously):

First there’s the overall plot structure.

- Starts with a battle. Only three SW movies begin with a battle rather than end with one, those are ESB, Revenge of the Sith and TLJ, and only ESB and TLJ have the battle during an evacuation. 

- Our main heroes are separated. One hero seeks out an old master, and two others go to a beautiful city with dark secrets to seek help from a scoundrel who ends up betraying them. Before they decide to go to this city they spend time escaping from the dark forces with a sense of claustrophobic foreboding. They can only just remain out of the grasp of the dark forces, and their only hope is that the scoundrel can help them fully escape.

- The old master refuses to help at first. At one point a ghost from the past shows up to point out how this new pupil is better than the master realized. The pupil leaves the master against his protests to confront the villain, who pushes the pupil into an emotionally difficult realization about their parentage. 

- The very last scene is a bittersweet moment focusing on the remaining heroes reunited with the rebel army (or what remains of it).

Then there’s the “new” characters. Say what you will about The Force Awakens, their new characters were mostly in fact new characters. Finn as a defecting stormtrooper was a particularly new and fresh idea. And Poe’s closest counterpart in the original trilogy would be an amalgamation of Wedge Antilles and Princess Leia, and maybe another character or so. Rey is admittedly pretty much The Skywalker, which is why her not being a Skywalker makes no goddamn sense, but I digress. The first order has a neonazi feel to it that echoes the original empire’s nazi Germany feel, which is a good way to combine old and new in a thematically relevant way. Having a Darth Vader wannabe fanboy as the villain follows in that vein. Snoke was the emperor 2.0 sure, but the mystery of where he came from and how he appeared to be older than the emperor himself was at least somewhat intriguing.

TLJ’s new characters on the other hand... One out of three is new, how refreshing! 

I honestly can’t say much about Rose Tico, other than that she’s technically new in that we’ve never had a fangirl-type of character in Star Wars before. Not sure we needed one, or for the first major WOC to be that, but still new. Admiral Holdo and DJ (who I had to look up right now, because his impression was so fleeting I couldn’t recall his name) are not new, but rather trashy Mon Mothma and Lando Calrissian respectively.

Trash!Mon Mothma is a respected leader in the resistance, except we’re not given any real reason as to why, as her leadership is awful. Mon Mothma spoke openly about the plans and made sure everyone had their turn. In general the rebels had a transparency in their leadership, and ran it as the democracy they wished to restore. Trash!Mon Mothma was authoritarian and a bad tactician. Whether she was short- or longsighted was debatable, as she didn’t consider the possibilities of her “do as I say because i say it and for no other reason” type of leadership to lead to a mutiny. A soldier is honestly duty bound to mutiny when faced with incompetent leadership that risks the lives of an army without so much as a hint of possible gain from the venture.

Then there’s trash!Lando, or more accurately, nuclear-waste-dump!Lando. Where as original flavor Lando was charismatic and charming, nwd!Lando couldn’t charm a fly attracted to his smell. And yet we’re suppose to buy that Finn and Rose were ready to trust him, just because they couldn’t get a hold of their first choice? And where Lando was given more than enough motivation for his betrayal, nwd!Lando is basically trash for the lulz! And again, why didn’t they try to keep their communication with Poe away from him when he looked ready to sell them for a cheese sandwich? If your plot only works because you’ve made all the characters far more idiotic than they either were established as or could reasonably be considered to be based on their occupation or basic pattern detecting skills, you are a bad writer period.

What’s worse is that Rian even made the already new characters from TFA embarrassingly old. Many have already pointed out the latinx stereotype that Poe got turned into, as well as an obvious reprise of Han Solo at his most “all about me” point of his life. Which makes no sense if you watched, oh say, the first couple of scenes in TFA. Finn had to repeat his previous character journey only more clumsily. And then Luke Skywalker was made into Yoda 2.0, when the Legends verse already showed that you can write him as his own type of teacher different from the ones who taught him, but still the same wide-eyed farmboy with added wisdom of his years. 

But please tell me how this is all new and fresh, because a lot more died and the Vader fanboy got added focus.

[fresnoborn]

Can’t Just Knock On The Front Door

RULES:

Basics:

This is a sideblog to weaponizedembrace. I follow from there.

Mun is 35+. Please do not follow or interact if you’re underage.

Morita is MCU and HC based.

I am not Japanese, nor do I particularly consider myself a history buff, but I am going to do my best to portray Morita as accurately and sensitively as I can when issues surrounding race/racism arise. If you ever have a problem with something I’ve written or said in regards to this, please come talk to me off anon. I am happy to learn and do better.

OOC -phobias/isms and repeat negative vagueing will get you unfollowed.

I will probably not follow rp blogs that do not have a statement of the mun’s age (the most important of these to me), basic rules and tagging, and reasonably cut posts. I will also not follow or interact with strictly genderbent/rule 63 versions of canon muses.

Thought I suspect it won’t arise here, I love duplicates, and I’m happy to do same muse threads!

I do not enforce reblog karma strictly, but please be considerate and don’t blast my notifs without ever sending anything.

Writing/formatting/etc:

I am MUTUALS ONLY for IC interaction! This blog is going to be very selective in who I interact with (and probably low activity).

Thread tracker links are coming soon, along with all relevant info.

No major godmodding without discussion. You guys know the deal.

2-5 paragraphs is the sweet spot for me for plotted/continued threads, and sometimes I get on a roll and write novels for people. You don’t have to match my lengths, but don’t give me 3 sentences when I write 3 paras, you feel?

One of my personal peeves in roleplaying is conversation splicing. If we’re writing long replies with a lot of dialogue and/or action and you notice that I don’t respond to everything single thing your muse said/did, and have started my response by replying to the last thing your muse said first and working back if necessary, this is my attempt to prevent serious splicing of the conversation. If this bothers you, please talk to me and we can switch to shorter threads.

I have a tendency to tense switch a lot between past and present. If that’s going to bother you… *shrugs*

Muse =/= mun.

I don’t require formatting or icons for interaction. That’s bullshit.

Mutuals can feel free to continue asks as long as you move it to a new post (tell me if you genuinely can’t). I do drop threads from time to time, though, so please understand these may go before plotted things, depending on how developed they become. Note: If an ask is nsfw, I will be more selective about continuing it. If we’ve never written or discussed smut (and you’re not one half of my otp–see autoshipping section below), asking before continuing might be a good idea if you’re going to be bothered if I don’t reply.

Dropping threads happens if I get overwhelmed or overly stressed, and I might not tell you (anxiety! -jazz hands-). Relationships developed in said threads remain, though, if mutually desired.

When I queue a reply, it’s usually just scheduled for the next day so I can feel accomplished clearing multiple drafts at once without potentially getting them right back.

My reply speeds vary greatly, from immediate to months later. You can reply at any speed you want to, but I do archive threads on a semi-regular schedule (see tracker link above for details).

Messaging/Inbox:

Feel free to send me ooc/character development/positivity/etc and spam my inbox whether we’re mutuals or not!

IC asks from your muse are for mutuals only.

Asks are sometimes deleted for the same reason threads get dropped. It’s not personal! Feel free to send more at any time!

Please don’t send messages like “hi” or “wanna rp?” with nothing else.

I am mentally ill and anxiety ridden (in case you haven’t realized yet lol), and therefore can be spotty in replying to messages. It’s not you. Sorry in advance.

Discord is available for mutuals. Just ask for it.

Shipping/Smut/Etc:

GENERAL: 1) Shipping is one of my favorite things. I am a ship whore, but I will likely want to write at least a little with you before fully committing to shipping. 2) Morita is cis and bisexual, though threads taking place during his canon timeline that become shippy with men will probably feature a heavy dose of fear and/or internalized homophobia due to the times. This does not mean I don’t want to explore that, though, because I do. 3) If you are feeling chemistry between your muse and mine, please tell me! I probably am too! 4) If you send me a shippy/smutty meme and we’ve never discussed either, my muse may respond in a way that might not be positive or I may delete your ask.

AUTOSHIPPING: The more comfy I am with any given mun, the more likely I am to jump into ships with any of their muses without build up, if they are of the same mind.

SMUT: I like writing smut, if muses are muns are comfortable with each other and of age, though I will get bored if it’s all we write. Do not expect either muse to be DTF in our first thread, though it may occasionally happen if plotted/discussed.

Triggers/Tagging/Etc:

Canon-typical violence/blood/etc. will not be tagged.

I will try to remember to tag nsfw, and for other triggers as “tw: trigger”. If I forget one or there’s one I’m not tagging that you think I should be, please message me!

Misc:

I use Kazunari Ninomiya as a faceclaim because Morita should have been 24 years old during TFA (Kenneth Choi was around 40 at the time). It’s already easy enough to forget how young most of the men fighting in WWII were. You will probably see Kenneth Choi here from time to time, though, just bc he is the canon fc.

I do not ask for a password to be sent, nor will I send one to you. I have read your rules if I followed you. If I accidentally break one, I’m human. Please tell me.

I know my rules are long because I’m a wordy bitch, but thank you very much for taking the time to read them. I appreciate you. :)

[adambethyname-blog]

What I’m Hoping to Learn From “Star Wars: The Last Jedi”

Tonight during Monday Night Football, we are going to get to see what will most likely be the most comprehensive trailer for December’s “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.” 

Director Rian Johnson has been warning fans through his Twitter account that the trailer might be a tad “spoilery” but honestly, my experience dealing with properties of Lucasfilm in the past tells me that the trailer will not give away anything pivotal. 

I have to admit, the trailer has snuck up on me this year. Normally I am pretty in tune with all things Star Wars, but this one took me by surprise. That being said, I won’t be disappointed if there is something in there that could be considered a spoiler. I remember two years ago when “The Force Awakens” came out, I read every single “leak” and “spoiler” to hit my Facebook wall.

Absolutely NONE of them were accurate. None. 

It has taken a while for me to form an opinion regarding “TFA.” I did like the movie although it was pretty much a reboot of “A New Hope.” My only real complaint about it was that JJ Abrhams treated the movie like an episode of “Lost.” There were so many dangling threads, it was as if he was expecting us to tune in next Wednesday at 9 to find out what happens.

And here we are two years later. 

I made a list of the top 10 things I’m hoping we find out from The Last Jedi. Granted, I don’t expect all 10 to get answered since there are two movies to go in this new modern trilogy, but I hope we can knock a few of these out. 

How did they get Luke's lightsaber from the ventilation shaft in Bespin? And who got it? And why? No one knew it was there except Vader and Luke. 

The lightsaber ends up in the coat closet at Maz’s bar in “TFA” where it “calls” to Rey. Maz gives it to Rey, but how did she get it? No one knew where it was. Even Luke didn’t think to go back for it. In Episode VI, Darth Vader comments that Luke constructed a new lightsaber. So how does this piece of hardware get to some remote bar, stuck in a steamer trunk?

When does Kylo Ren go to Endor and retrieve Darth Vader's mask? How did he know it was there? Obviously Luke told him but why?

Just like the lightsaber, Vader’s helmet was on Endor, smoldering on a funeral pyre. At some point, Kylo Ren has to go back to Endor, find it, and bring it back to his ship so he can put it on display to impress the dates he brings back to his room. Did Kylo road trip to Endor? And this is a PLANET. How did he know exactly where it was? Did he go kicking over Ewok corpses looking for the remains of a barbecue? 

Under what circumstances is the Falcon stolen from Han Solo?

Apparently this question gets answered in the novelization of “TFA” but we didn't see it in the movie. A gunrunner named Gannis Ducain, who was first introduced in the novel Smuggler's Run, is the guy who stole the Falcon from Han and Chewie before the events of the movie. But how did he do it? Did he grab Han’s keys off the dresser when he wasn’t looking? Did he hot-wire it? 

Leia and C3P0 reference a Republic Army. Where is it? What's it doing?

This is a very brief reference in “TFA” but both Leia and C3PO mention that the “Republic Army” is somewhere in the galaxy just.... waiting. What’s this Army doing? How big is it? It’s hard to believe they couldn’t help as they took on Starkiller Base.

Who are the other "Rens" in Rey's flashback?

When Rey has her flashback by mind-melding with Kaz, you can see very clearly that Kylo Ren is leading some kind of black-masked ANTIFA group that’s looking to do... something. It looks like there are six of them, plus Kylo. Who are these people? What was their purpose? Where were they found? Were they recruited? Do they have names? Are they still around, cooling their jets until needed again? 

These First Order Stormtroopers are not Clones. What are they? Where are they from? And why not use clones anymore?

When Finn explains to Poe in “TFA” that “FN2187″ was the “only name they ever gave [him]” it implied that he was basically a Stormtrooper since... birth? is that even accurate? Did the First Order institute a draft of some kind? 

If you go into "exile" why do you leave a map that tells people where you are?  Doesn't that negate the purpose of exile?

There better be a darn good explanation for this one. You’re going into exile. You want no one to find you. So you make a detailed map and leak it via USB drive? This reminds me of the dumped girl, calling her ex-boyfriend to see if he called. Yoda did it right. He went into exile after “Revenge of the Sith,” told no one where he was going, but maybe leaked it to a Force ghost (Obi Wan) who can’t tell anyone because the Empire isn’t talking to “good” Force ghosts. 

There are Empire AT ATs, a Star Destroyer, and an X Wing crashed and abandoned on Jakku. Why? What happened there? Who was involved? And why?

This got answered in the god-awful “Aftermath” trilogy of books that was supposed to fill in a lot of the details between “Return of the Jedi” and “The Force Awakens.” They didn’t - not even close. Apparently, there was a major battle between the remnants of the Empire and the Rebellion who were trying to close the door on the old Empire, but couldn’t. The story was told through ancillary characters that do not show up in “TFA” and will never appear in the movies, so the battle details in the book are inconsequential. I’d like to know how the battle affected the characters that showed up on the screen.

Lor San Tekka  (Max Von Sydow) obviously knew Kylo Ren, who he was and what he did... But how? And he lasted less than 10 minutes of screen time as a result.

We barely get any screen time with one of the most mysterious characters of “TFA.” The opening line of the movie is “This will begin to make things right,” as Lor hands Poe the USB drive with the missing part of the map to Luke’s super-secret exile. So he’s acknowledging that things are “wrong.” How did HE get the map? Are we going to learn more about him in some flashbacks or something? There needs to be some exposition that fleshes him out.

There are only 2 Sith at any time. A master and an apprentice. Vader and Palpatine were both killed in Episode VI seemingly extinguishing the Sith. Is Lord Snoke a Sith? Better yet, is Kylo Ren? It's never said. Assuming they both are, how was the Sith side of the Force resurrected?

This is the one I really need an answer to as I am a huge fan of the Darth Bane Trilogy of books. Darth Bane introduced “Rule of Two” (see above). Essentially, it says that there can only be two Sith at any one time. If you remember in “The Phantom Menace” at Qui-Gon’s funeral, Mace Windu and Yoda realize Darth Maul was a Sith, but they didn’t know who Maul was, the master or the apprentice. There was a point in Star Wars history where there were hundreds of Sith who were considered equals; however, the order was weakened by their own actions because several Sith would gang up and murder the leader, weakening the order. Bane undid that practice. At the end of “Return of the Jedi,” the Emperor is killed, Vader dies and that’s it. Master and apprentice are gone. At some point, the Sith order has to be started up again. So is Kylo a Sith? Is he the master or the apprentice? For two years I’ve been reading ridiculous fan theories about Snoke...

...is Snoke the master? It seems that Kylo is subservient to him. And if he IS the master Sith, where has he been? He was obviously doing something between the time the Emperor was tossed down the elevator shaft and the events of “TFA.” He’s never mentioned in the original trilogy. Further, the word “Sith” isn’t even uttered in “TFA” so does Kylo represent some new manifestation of the Dark Side? 

I really do hope that this is the beginning of a sprawling space story that completes its own tale like the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. I don’t mind cliffhangers as long as they pay off. December should be the first step in filling in the blanks.

[emperorren]

on reylo being one-sided

(and why I’m not a huge fan of this scenario)

This is something I’ve wanted to address for a while---the fairly popular idea that the “only” romance we’re going to get in canon between Rey and Kylo will be one-sided on Kylo’s part. That there’s no way Rey can ever return his feelings (or, more accurately, his obsession), and will never forgive him for what he’s done.

I’m curious as to why this became so easy to believe in our corner of the fandom (and I mean specifically reylo shippers). Is this because we want to keep our expectations low? Is it because we recognize that some of the arguments “against” this ship are valid? Is it because, despite all meta and character analysis, we ultimately see Rey’s character as incompatible with Kylo’s, or we don’t believe in the writers’ ability to make her compatible without “ruining” her? Are there any actual signs of this dynamic being necessarily, intrinsically unrequited? 

The answer to the last question, in my opinion, is no. Kind of the opposite. But I’ll get to this later; meanwhile, I’ll concede that this is probably the easiest, safest scenario to speculate on. Kylo being fixated on Rey is already de facto canon, we’re not exactly making wild speculation here. From “what girl?”, to "forget the droid, we have what we need”, to the way he watches her for who the hell knows how long while she’s unconscious, to “I can be your teacher”, it’s clear that our bad boy finds Rey fascinating, and it’s not a stretch of imagination at all to assume that this fixation will only get worse from this point on---that he’ll probably try again to kidnap or lure her again to his side, now that he knows how powerful she is. Villainous crushes are a Thing, so there’s nothing particularly outrageous or unrealistic about this. 

Rey, however, is much more problematic. Her developing some feelings (whatever their nature) for Kylo really seems at odds with the way her character is portrayed and with her other main relationship (Finn). She doesn’t seem to feel anything but unadulterated hatred for Kylo at the end of the movie, and she has every reason to feel this way: the guy killed her newly found parental figure, hurt her best friend, is complicit in genocides and the destruction of an entire solar system, his every action proved that Leia was wrong about him. That Rey can ever feel even the slightest sympathy, let alone attraction, for such a person does sound like a stretch. "Falling” for Kylo would either irreparably taint her likability as a protagonist (what kind of person is attracted to someone who hurt her friends?), or, as many ant*s fear, turn her into an ooc, pallid imitation of the strong willed, independent, loyal young woman we’ve seen in TFA. Rey doesn’t have any real “reasons” to fall for Kylo, and the authors can’t make it happen unless they bend her character in really unpleasant ways. That’s the assumption.

But we shippers still want to see some romance---because what we saw blossoming in Kylo is unmistakable and too juicy not to be explored by the narrative. A tragic unrequited love on Kylo’s part that ends with him embracing the fact that Rey will never return his feelings, but still sacrificing himself for her safety, and redeeming himself with this purely selfless act---that sounds like a good compromise, right? Right. It’s not bad. It’s feasible from a storytelling perspective, it leaves Rey’s agency, personality, motivations etc. intact, while giving a payoff to Kylo’s anticipated *pull to the Light* without turning the story into a cheesy, bad trope-ridden romance in which the bad guy “gets the girl” as a prize for becoming good.

Still, I'm skeptical.

I’m 100% here for angst and a conflicted, tortured Kylo Ren who doesn’t know what to make of his feelings for the enemy, but do I really want to watch him chase a recalcitrant, disgusted Rey around the galaxy for the next two movies? Hell, no. Not only I’m afraid I’d find this repetitive and quickly exhausting, but the discourse around him would only get nastier, the “stalker” reading of his character more substantiated. Honestly, I don’t want to hear any of that.

But more importantly: even if it’s done well and the stalkey vibes are kept at minimum, it would work for Kylo, for his arc. Rey, on the other hand, would remain crystallized in her rejection of everything Kylo Ren is and stands for, which reeks of character stagnation, tbh. Especially compared to the enormous development that Kylo would undergo should he start to genuinely care for Rey. 

You know, if you put all the burden of character evolution---of “meeting halfway”---on Kylo Ren and none on Rey, the inevitable risk is making him much more interesting than her. (honestly, he already is, because the writers bothered to give him some complexity, some flaws that read as flaws, and not just as endearing quirks that don’t compromise the overall adorableness of the character.)

I personally don’t see Rey as already whole, and I strongly reject the idea that “she shouldn’t change anything about herself”. Not changing anything about yourself doesn’t sound like a great idea if you’re the protagonist of a trilogy that is simultaneously a hero’s journey and a rite of passage into adulthood. Rey needs an identity arc, a trajectory. She starts as a character with a rather black/white sense of morality, that the narrative doesn’t really challenge or present as even remotely problematic. That’s definitely less complex than, for example, Finn, who has a moment of “fuck, I’m getting the hell out of dodge” and then comes around, who lies repeatedly to Rey, to Poe, to Han, to the Resistance, who has this huge shadow of his former identity as a stormtrooper looming above him for 3/4 of the movie. Finn is conflicted---he doesn’t share Rey’s unflinching loyalty to bb8 (although, unlike Rey, he did meet bb8′s owner), and his primary concern is getting the FO out of his system and saving Rey. Rey otoh jumps on the good guys’ bandwagon almost immediately, the only thing holding her back (her desire to go back to Jakku to wait for her family) conveniently pushed aside to shove her into action. Amazing, but two more movies of Rey never questioning herself, her loyalties, her assumptions, never showing a single flaw, never even being tempted, sound absolutely dull to me. Luke is so memorable as a hero because he evolves throughout the movies; he’s not stagnant. He begins his journey as an idealist, naive farm boy with a very black/white mentality (the same we find in Rey), but then he’s broken, he learns something that forces him to reconsider his place in the war (in the universe) and his perspective shifts, and he sees a man to save where he used to see only an enemy. 

Of course, Rey’s arc doesn’t necessarily have to be similar to Luke’s, and her evolution surely doesn’t hinge on her relationship with the main (anti)villain. But the way they’ve framed her interactions with Kylo---including the fact that their duel represents the climax of the movie---tells me that this dynamic is going to be crucial. It would be a missed opportunity if Rey’s feelings weren’t as complex and layered as the ones Luke has for Vader.

I see the word “agency” tossed around a lot when promoting the idea of Rey never *falling* for Kylo. It’s a legitimate concern. But I think there’s a difference between:

a) feeling something for a person; b) acting on those feelings; c) letting those feelings define all you are or, worse, destroy who you are d) becoming a passive object of someone else’s desire

I definitely don’t want options C & D for Rey, and I only want B with... reservations (that is, if Kylo stop being an aggressive, self entitled ass, and changes himself in turn) but I think A is crucial---not for Kylo, but for Rey’s arc and complexity as a character. Feelings don’t have to be explicitly romantic, and she might continue on her path without giving in to them (i.e., refuse to let them dictate her actions)... but that she’s never going to feel sympathy for him in her heart is nonsensical given the way they shaped them as each other’s foil.

It’s important to note that Rey’s esteem of Kylo has already hit rock bottom by the end of TFA. Henceforth, it either rises or remains static, and I think we can all agree we can’t just watch two more movies of Rey thinking of Kylo as a monster. Well, I suppose someone could, but I for one would be bored to tears. (storytelling-wise, a character screaming their hate against their enemy in such a transparent, literal way in the first act is only a good choice if it’s going to be subverted later.)

Unrequited love is also at odds with my perception of this dynamic as intrinsically mutual. 

Everyone commented on the yin and yang subtext, that was possibly a source of inspiration for a lot of imagery surrounding Rey and Ren (starting from their curiously similar names). The thing about yin and yang is that they both need each other---they both strive to incorporate the other to achieve wholeness; it’s a two sided feedback. If Rey, the yang, doesn’t need, or care for, or feel temptation for Kylo, the yin, then you can throw the whole yin/yang narrative out of the window. There’s no yin/yang dynamic if the yang doesn’t need, or want, the yin. 

Even at this early stage, it’s a give and take between them. Kylo invades Rey’s consciousness to grab the map, Rey turns the tables on him and “steals” power and knowledge from his mind. The duel is a power play, a battle for dominance where each of them gets to have the upper hand at some point. Everything Kylo does to Rey, Rey returns in spades, almost mirroring him. So far, their interactions have been essentially violent, but should Kylo begin to feel something akin to affection, or compassion, or attraction for Rey, it makes sense to me that this would stir something of the same nature in her, an equal but opposite reaction. Why? Because they’re linked through the Force, she “feels” him as he “feels” her. Because she learns his story, and realizes that he wasn’t born bad. Because she starts dealing with her own darkness, and this makes her see Kylo’s in a different... light, no pun intended. I think these issues are already solidly rooted in canon, and in the hands of a skilled writer (and I think the authors behind this trilogy are skilled, if maybe lacking a bit of courage), can become a perfectly realistic premise for Rey to start feeling “something” for Kylo while maintaining her complexity 

tl;dr; “Rey redeems Kylo by doing absolutely nothing” is infinitely less interesting to me than “Rey and Kylo change and redefine each other through their collisions and interactions”. If I had to choose between a one sided romance on Kylo’s part and no romance at all (but rather, a mutual... friendship? ambiguous antagonism?) I’d choose the latter without blinking. I’m more interested in the mutual nature of whatever’s going on between them (even if it’s just platonic), than I am in any explicit (but one sided) depiction of romantic feelings.