#only now saw it bc the internet fucking died the whole day

[magicwordorchestra]

club holostars agf2023 incident 600 injured 40 deceased

[orionauriga]

writerly ephemera

✨ share some little bits of you, easter eggs, memories, etc. you have left scattered in your fics or art. if you fancy it, tag a pal. ✨

thank you to the lovely @moondal514 for the tag, and shoutout to the wonderful @decaflondonfog for starting this up!! one thing about me is i love yapping about the behind-the-scenes of my fics

Andrew’s gaze is heavy, like Aaron’s spiraling thoughts are displaying on the dashboard screen amid the radio information: 101.1 Columbia’s Alt Rock Hits — my mother died in a car crash i could kill myself or someone else just as easily and knowing my luck i probably will — Now playing: Sugar, We’re Goin Down by Fall Out Boy — (on the cusp of getting it right)

since getting a functioning aux cord i rarely, if ever, listen to the radio BUT when i do, my favorite local station is 101.1 because they're always playing alt rock. also, writing this scene was terribly amusing to me because (1) this was for last year's T&N fest and was posted anonymously and i was certain i'd exposed myself by mentioning fob by name and (2) when i was learning to drive, my dad never EVER allowed me to have anything playing during a driving lesson. and you know what. he was right to bc i did once nearly crash while trying to change the song when doing practice hours with my mom.

What he learned was that Aaron’s shoulders tensed first when he was scared. What he learned was that Aaron liked things in threes and fives. What he learned was that Aaron was a creature of habit who got cranky when his routines were disrupted. What he learned was that they shared a distaste for mayonnaise, an inability to sleep on their right sides,... (breaking every finger, praying that it makes me clean)

all of the above are true of me as well!

Dan, Matt, and Renee burst in, the latter mediating a debate between the couple about something useless and incomprehensible as usual. “I’m just saying, I don’t give a fuck if Harry has had the most successful solo career, I’m going to be a Louis girl ‘til the day I die.” (proof of survival)

take a wild guess who my favorite member of one direction is

Aaron would love to have an answer. At first he’d thought it was exams: there’s nothing like the last two weeks of a semester to send him into a soul-crushing, mind-destroying study spiral to prepare for three straight days of tests that will directly impact his future. But it’s officially winter break and he should be relaxing, yet he can’t shake the tight flutter of nerves behind his collarbone. (call the parents, tell them i'm okay)

right around my collarbones/upper chest/throat area is where i tend to feel the physical effects of my own anxiety

On the table directly in front of him are rows and rows of pin-back buttons in an overwhelming number of color combinations, each emblazoned with PSU PRIDE ALLIANCE in blocky font. (despite everything, i'm still human)

tbh this whole fic is projection central, but this was inspired by my school's annual coming out day table in the campus center, which had tons of buttons and is where i got the aromantic and asexual pins that lived on my backpack for the rest of my undergrad years

unrelated to the fic but still feels relevant: someone in my spanish class who i barely spoke to all semester let me know on the last day of class that he saw my ace flag pin and wondered what it was and that eventually led to him not only learn what it meant but to figure out that he is also ace. i don't think i ever saw him again but i think about him a lot. i'm so glad he told me that.

In the bakery, a package of cookies for you. Frosted in ice blue and dotted with snowflake-shaped sprinkles. (leftovers)

i didn't describe them with specifics in the fic but i was thinking of the lofthouse brand sugar cookies with frosting that are the subject of much debate on the internet bc so many people think they're gross. however they are very gorgeous to me. dessert of all time imo

There is a house inside Katelyn’s mind. In the room where she harbors her instincts regarding her boyfriends’ respective addictions, a light switches on. This bulb is rarely used anymore; it flickers, uncertain. The room it hesitantly illuminates is bare but for a floor littered with dusty liquor bottles and orange pill canisters prescribed to a dead woman. At the threshold, by her feet: a bottle, empty. “Kevin,” Katelyn says, standing in that doorway, looking at him over her shoulder. (i've known this dream for a long time)

this is one of my favorite metaphors i've ever written. partly because i love inventing incorporeal spaces like this as a way to represent emotions, and partly because this specific metaphor is a reference to something only i'll get. it references the original novel i wrote a couple years back, about a young woman and the ghost who is possessing her. whichever one of them is not presently in control of her body retreats to a house that 'exists' in her mind. inventing that internal world was the most fun part of writing that story (i'm hoping to edit that novel into something readable or at the very least repurpose the concept at some point)

no-pressure tags (sorry if you've been tagged/done this already!): @merceyca @cummandercold @jaywalkers

[eemcintyre]

Re-watching and re-evaluating "M:I - Dead Reckoning (Part One)"

A long, long time ago, somewhere in the Internet ether, I had promised to review this movie. well here it is if anyone still cares

Still think the introductory scene in the submarine was a bit long, but it didn't feel as long as it did the first time when I was foaming at the mouth to see Tom and only Tom for the first time in a new movie in the theater

Definitely a lot of exposition in the first Cary Elwes/Kittridge/etc. scene, but the information was necessary for the most part. Just very funky and unnatural how they divided the dialogue amongst everyone and they were finishing each other's sentences, like people Do Not talk like that

Also did anyone else think it was weird how long it was until the intro credits montage too? Idk maybe that's my personal artistic choice talking. Either way it was a super neat montage and I loved it, regardless of when it occurred; I was just afraid the first time I saw it that we weren't going to get one 👀👀👀

The whole end-of-days AI thing is definitely way too relevant and 1) stresses me out v badly, but also 2) Tom Cruise gives me hope that maybe we will eventually defeat it, even if it's not by he himself punching it to death 🤞🏻💖

Best comprehensive soundtrack of the franchise; the only one that has actually stuck out in my mind and I can remember at all and has stirred up genuine emotion in me

The Rome car chase safely occupies the spot as the best one I've ever seen, and you can tell the difference with how they used real sets and props vs. just wall-to-wall greenscreen 😖 I also love how the hijinks with like, the handcuffs and the seat-switching feel like smth out of an older spy comedy movie?? Vintage vibes ✨🤌🏻

If Tom Cruise could just casually stand with me protectively like that for a while and shield me from the w o r l d I think it might fix me 🥺🥲

The way Grace drives is a glimpse into what it feels like for me every time I get on the road

I love the yellow Fiat and I want it gimme gimme

Pom Klementieff's character is definitely too over the top for me. absolutely feral. someone tranquilize her pls. give her a nap. but hey, I'm glad she's having fun 🩷

Rebecca Ferguson was so underused and felt weirdly distant and separated even when she was present in this movie- def my biggest disappointment >:(

When I say I absolutely hated the big retcon about how agents are drafted into the IMF like MY PUPPY-DOG EYED NERD BENJI AND ETHAN "LOVES HIS FRIENDS" HUNT WERE NOT CRIMINALS IT DOESN'T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE FOR THEIR CHARACTERS BOY HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND CAUSE I'LL HELP YOU FIND IT 😤😤😤

Didn't think I was going to like Hayley Atwell at all before seeing the movie bc I tend not to like the way female action movie characters are written and I am a simp for Ilsa if you couldn't tell, but I ended up really enjoying her

Gabriel showed a lot of promise as a cool villain in the beginning when he was all mysterious, but ultimately there wasn't anything memorable about him for me. Only one who's earned that reward to date in M:I is Philip Seymour Hoffman, but maybe if/when we learn more about his backstory/motivation; hope is still alive for now

They've got Grace dressed like a fkin pirate there in Venice. And Pom is giving absolute "Black Parade" realness

ILSA MY SWEET LITTLE BABY SHE DIED ALL ALONE AND THEY DON'T EVEN SHOW ANYONE CRYING OVER HER DEATH EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS SUCH A SO-CALLED CLOSE FRIEND AND ALLY AND *DEF MORE* TO ETHAN AND IT'S JUST SO FUCKING WEIRD AND WRONG I ALMOST WISH THEY'D JUST QUIETLY WRITTEN HER OUT AFTER FALLOUT

Like kill her off if Rebecca wants to engage in other projects but give the character a proper send-off if you must. But fr, I agree with everyone's critique that she was such a welcome departure and sign of progress from the completely-interchangeable-female-action-character-who's-only-there-to-provide-new-and-different-eye-candy-every-time, and then right after she's really established and gelled with everyone they kill her off and switch her out in the team with another brunette female IN THE VERY NEXT SCENE BEFORE HER BODY IS EVEN COLD IN THE GRAVE

Yes. I understand that it's an action movie and, within the high-stakes confines of the plot, time for mourning is limited. Yes I understand that the other characters have witnessed many other deaths before. But the fact is that her character was special and different, to the characters and to us, and the filmmakers could have done it better. Ok, main gripe of the movie over 😔

Not sure if it's a plot hole or I just don't understand technology, but couldn't the Entity have messed with the computer in Benji's car when he puts it in self-drive while trying to help Ethan board the train...? 🤨🤨

Yep the Train Scene was just as brilliant and utterly harrowing as I remembered; most stressful viewing experience of me life 🥲😭

And, as much of a stretch as it was, I am a sucker indeed still for the part where Pom saves their lives 🥺 and now I kinda hope she lives and sticks around and has a badass, dare I say heroic moment or two in the future

Overall, despite my number of gripes, it still goes down as my favorite movie in the franchise overall 💖 the perfect proportions of comedy and drama, so many iconic and likable characters, and plenty of the unparalleled action sequences we've come to expect but even better than any we've seen before, and I am chomping at the bit for Part Two to eventually, someday, please please please come out thank you and see you at the movies 👋🏻✨

[purpldove134]

I can't remember stuff I think.

Like just now, I wanted to see when I started watching a couple YouTubers so I scrolled down to like 5 years ago and I cannot remember what video was posted after I subscribed, like I think I remember one of them but not one that was posted before. It could be that it's fucking YouTube so like why would my brain remember that.

Even worse is the 2nd one that I KNOW for a fact I started watching like a week before a certain video announcing a break (bc it was funny that I had like a week to go though their backlog). But like I cannot remember any of the videos posted before? I guess I could have only watched older, complete, series but I still feel like I should remember stuff from before? I also saw that a series I thought I binge watched after it was complete was posted after the break, so like I either waited it to end (although I doubt it) or I don't remember having to wait for videos, since it's weird since I usually remember that.

Ok whatever, that is Internet stuff that happened 6 years ago, of course I can't remember, maybe it would be weird if I did. But yesterday I talked to my sister about something that happened when we were kids, that we reference sometimes.

So when we were kids we were eating and she was annoying me so I threw a piece of meat in her hair. It was dumb but I was a dumb kid and now we laugh about it. The thing is, every time either of us have referenced that story, I've had a REALLY vivid image in my head of us sitting on the bed eating (like we had the table in front of it and we were using the bed as chairs) but she says that we were not sitting on the bed, but the table was placed in the corner of the room and we were sitting on chairs.

For a bit more context, we did sit on the bed while eating if the whole family was eating, so 2 of us would sit on the bed and 2 on chairs, but she claims that we ONLY did that if the whole family was eating, but I really remember us eating on the bed if only the 2 of us would eat.

Then, it gets worse when she says that two other things that happened while we were eating (that we sometimes reference) happened while we were sitting in the corner. I genuinely do not remember the table EVER being placed in the corner, like there was a shelf over it so it's not like the wall was empty, I just cannot remember it ever being there.

She says it's ok because I was really young so I just don't remember. But then, it gets even worse when she says we were sitting at the table in the corner after we came home from my grandma's house after grandpa passed away. I remember going to their house, I remember sitting in this room that was usually only for when like, a lot of guests had to eat, I remember it being winter and cold and my grandma showing this notebook that he had where he had the most beautiful handwriting I've ever seen, I do NOT remember sitting at that table after coming home (or ever). The thing is, my grandpa died when I was 12, TWELVE, fucking one and two put together. I SHOULD REMEMBER A TABLE POSITION FROM WHEN I WAS 12 RIGHT? The more I think about it the more I remember it vaguely but I feel like I'm just starting to gaslight myself into thinking i can remember it.

I tried googling but that hasn't helped, people are usually talking about 3-9 yo range not over 10, and those who do talk about over 10 aren't helpful. Like it was 6 years ago, and even before that the table was there for probably YEARS, and I ate at it every day. Why can't i remember it.

[stillgirlfrommars]

you’ve got news

So, I already talked about this with @missmorwen​ and I know I don’t have the time to draw and make an actual comic out of it, BUT I cannot stop thinking about this SamSteve-post-engdame-fix-it story (with a dash of BuckyNat, ‘cause that’s just who I am) which is kinda crack and very rom-com (a bit you’ve got mail) inspired and doesn't make much sense, because... PLOT HOLES but * sigh * I kinda wanna share at least the idea so - bear with me:

So, instead of Nat dying, Steve sacrifices his Captain America powers on Vormir and comes back as Skinny!Steve and starts running a political blog called you’ve-got-news in secret, uncovering all kinds of shady business/corruption and becoming the bane of existence of every politician and greedy CEO - but it takes a while for his friends to figure out it's him who’s running that increasingly popular blog (which the new Captain America is actually a big fan of ;)). And the way that happens is as follows:

So, Steve almost died at the end of Endgame. The idiot (affectionate) of course still wanted to fight Thanos, but even with Thor’s Hammer, he took some serious, serious injuries which led to a tough talk with Sam, Nat and Bucky

Like I imagine, that while Steve would not have any regrets whatsoever about giving up his powers, he would still need some time to come to terms with the fact that he won’t be able to participate in the action like he used to. Even though, he actually wants and knows... it’s time to ... start something new, it’s still a process. So, there he is, trying to figure out who he is without the mantle of Captain America, re-defining the way he can and will fight against bullies in the future (cause there is no way he’s gonna stop that).

And to the surprise of everyone, Steve actually doesn’t press for participating in Avenger-style-fights anymore (he still does some of the practical mission planning and shit like that) but most importantly, he starts taking up new hobbies, like cooking or old hobbies like drawing - and he seems happier than he has in a long time, and yeah maybe it’s a bit too good to be true, if Sam starts thinking about it. But, hey, Steve finally seems to be happy so -

Meanwhile, Sam still becomes the new Captain America, and Steve is there while he is adjusting, finding himself in that role. He is there when Sam needs to talk things through, and yeah, it would still be a process like in tfatws series, but ... a little bit less alone, I guess. 

So, the new Captain America fights alongside Nat and Bucky - and it’s good, they work surprisingly well together, but also: those two are stuck right in the middle of a weird assassin!flirting situation (I’m imagening a lot of veeery intense staring at the other while cleaning their weapons or beating someone up, innuendos en masse, dark humour etc.). And frankly, it’s getting on Sam's nerves because they seem to be so oblivious about the whole damn thing. Neither of them is actually admitting to anything, no, they are too busy teasing him about the ‘crush’ he has developed on that mysterious dude who is running the famous political-youve-got-news-blog that gained momentum a while ago and is currently keeping all the corrupt politicians and CEOs on their toes.

So, yeah, Sam might have been caught a couple of times reading or reciting from that blog because - it has actually turned into a pretty efficient way of mobilising people to demonstrate for change and it did give him some tip-offs in regards to who the bad guy really was and yeah. But it’s not a crush... Sam just really likes reading the blog posts, okay. That dude seems pretty cool and they share the same moral code, so... whatever.

What Nat and Bucky and Steve don't know (and he’ll never tell them), is that Sam is actually kiiiiinda already frequently talking with the guy who runs the blog. Anonymously on both ends, of course (because for good reasons both of them are pretty careful about giving away information concerning their identities). And in a way that whole anonymity-thing makes it a lot easier to talk about stuff he finds harder to admit to the people who he knows directly. So, you could say, blog-guy has kinda become Sam's internet friend, but not his crush, no.

Honestly, the crush he is more concerned about (that he also isn't planning on telling anyone about any time soon, cause Bucky would just tease him and Nat would start scheming) is, well, it’s Steve. Because, damn, he likes their get-togethers a lot, the meals Steve's cooking are honestly to die for. They watch baseball together, they do museum-trips... And the way they can talk about (almost) everything... He just feels understood and... yeah, loved (maybe not in the way that he wishes for, but still) and it’s nice to see Steve so happy and okay, maybe it’s getting a bit out of control because Sam took Steve with him to visit Sarah and his nephews and Sarah kinda saw right through his act of ‘hey, this is my best friend’ and ‘what do you mean, I don’t have feelings- okay. Yeah maybe I do’ and told him in no uncertain terms to fucking do something about it and get his shit together.

The thing is, he’s got it bad. But Sam is also torn, because this is the best fucking friendship he's ever had and he does not want to jeopardise that. So, in the end he ends up talking about this with his Internet friend... about how he kinda has this huge crush on his best friend, and his Internet friend is like, ‘TELL ME ABOUT IT, big fucking same here UGH. And I feel like I’m being SO obvious about it all. It’s honestly embarrassing. My other best friend keeps teasing me ‘bout it and tells me to just go for it, but that guy still hasn’t managed to ask out the girl he’s interested in, so, what does he know, right?’. And Sam laughs - at least he’s not alone.

So the days go by (Sam’s pining only increases, Steve took him to a wine tasting the other night and he almost... in his drunk state... almost... but he didn’t) until one day, while blog-guy and Sam are chatting, all of the sudden the blog-guy is like, ‘Shit, I think someone's breaking into my apartment’ and then like, ‘Okay, yes they are’ - and Sam's like, ‘call 911′, and blog-guy writes back ‘mmh think I can handle them’ (and Sam’s like ‘WTF... I know way too many people with zero regards for their own well-being, myself included’)

But then blog-guy is not answering anymore, so Sam frantically calls up Nat who rushes to his flat and Sam says: ‘You need to find out where that IP adress is located ASAP - the dude with that famous blog is in danger.’

And Nat does that multitasking thing where she’s working on the problem while ribbing Sam about the fact that, apparently, Captain America's Internet bestie is that famous blog dude, and- 'Are you sure it’s not a crush?'

But after another minute, Nat sighs and is like, ‘I can't find the location, this thing is encrypted af, it’s impossible.’ Suddenly, she notices something about the setup of the encryption and-, ‘Hang on a second, it was me who set this up for someone back in 2011.′ And as she slips on her jacket, she says to Sam, ‘Come on. I know where we have to go!’

So they make their way to what turns out is Steve's (!!!!) apartment and find him in the middle of a fight against over half a dozen heavily armed people, and yeah - he’s actually doing pretty okay for himself ‘cause he outsmarted a couple of them, but also- they kind of outnumber him, so Nat and Sam get to work.

And Sam doesn't even have time to fully register what that means re:blog-guy until they have successfully defeated the bad guys. After that's done, Steve is like, ‘Thanks guys, but how the hell did you know I was in trouble? Nat... you didn’t bug my apartment, did you??’

And Nat tstsk and then she just laughs because this is priceless and OF CoURSE it is Steve who is behind that blog... (she's a bit mad at herself for not figuring it out sooner, and a bit sad that Steve didn't feel like he could tell her, and that he assumes she has is flat bugged but, also,... kinda impressed.) But then she looks at him with a warm smile on her face, shaking her head, saying, ‘No, I didn’t, Steve.’ Her gaze wanders back and forth between Steve and Sam and she humms- 'That actually makes so much sense oh my god.' So, she leaves them ‘to talk’ ;) and for Sam to explain everything’ - and then it’s just the two of them.

And Sam does explain everything and is like, 'So you're that Blog dude, erm...' He's scratching the back of his neck, cheeks flushed, 'Turns out, we've been talking for months over that blog of yours. I'm (insert-Sam’s-username-here).'- and Steve's eyes go wide and you can literally see him processing that information right then and there and he's sputtering out a light laugh, and he's like 'Hang on a second... I... umm, okay, I gotta ask. So, that best friend you've got a crush on...' Well, it’s now or never -'Is you, yeah..', Sam admits and starts, 'and....' They both laugh again and Steve nods and just says- 'yeah, it’s you, too.'

And then they kiss and yaaay, happy ending!!!

And then the epilogue would be about them having a nice dinner with Bucky and Nat a couple of months later, and the whole time, Sam and Steve are being very much in loveTM. The three guys are standing in the kitchen, while Natasha is in the bathroom and Bucky's making a funny quib about how sickeningly cute Sam and Steve are together - and Sam, well, Sam just raises his eyebrows and is like, 'You know what, you're not allowed to say anything bout that, you and Romanoff have been acting waaaaay worse over the last year. At least we got our shit together in the end, what's your excuse, you are obviously absolutely in love with her!', and of course Nat chooses that exact moment to enter the room, hand on Bucky's waist, dropping a kiss on his cheek and is like, 'What do you mean, we've been dating for 6 months?' And Steve laughs and Sam groans bc .... he loves his friends, he does, but clearly, CLEARLY they ALL have to work on their communication skills!

The End.

[hmslusitania]

I see we're going ape over buddie and Choices tonight so

Yknow in 2.07, when Shannon comes back and her and Eddie have their first scene together? The argument at the end, after Eddie says it wouldn't be a good idea for her to see Christopher bc she left them, she says she needed him, she needed a husband and a co-parent - and "I needed someone to have my back!"

To which EDDIE says, "I always had your back"

*insert Incredibles "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*

(Also side note, I do like that the show doesn't try to sugarcoat what Shannon did being messed up, and that Eddie's own actions weren't really the right thing either[thinking about his conversation with Buck where he says he got to pretend he left for a noble cause even tho he was running], and that it was just a sticky situation that neither of them were equipped to handle in any way, and snowballed. I do kind of wish we could've gotten post-divorce Shannon and Eddie and Christopher interactions, figuring out how they fit together, if at all, bc I like those intricate and messy situations but I could see how that might get too close to retreading old ground re: Michael and Athena's divorce. But I do hate how ive seen the fandom like. Seem to oversimplify things with Shannon sometimes? And make her the ultimate villain, and Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, Ever)

Hi Anon!

The decision to have Buck and Eddie's first bonding moment end with "You can have my back any day" and "or, y'know, you could have mine" only to then six episodes later find out that at least a contributing factor to Eddie's marriage dissolving was that he "didn't have her back" is like. Such a galaxy brain chaos move for them to take, honestly. Like?? They could've had the phrasing be literally anything in 2x07 but instead they had it directly echo Buck and Eddie in 2x01. What was the reason? Why did they do this?

As for the rest of your ask:

(gosh this got long and, uh, opinionated. It is Not Pretty below the cut)

One of the things I really liked about Eddie Begins is that we did get to see him at the beginning of his journey in being Chris's dad because it gives us an opportunity to appreciate how amazingly he's grown as a father. Like, he didn't start out as a perfect dad and he was definitely kind of lost in the woods at the beginning there when it came to the whole "how do I parent" thing. And before Eddie Begins, we'd only ever seen the end result of the growth he's gone through, where he really is a fantastic dad whose son is basically his entire reason for being. Before Eddie Begins, we get to hear him say things like "I left first" and "I've failed that kid more times than I can count but I love him enough to never stop trying" but we kinda have to take that on faith? Because we hadn't actually seen him be anything besides a good dad until we saw his Begins episode. (And even then in his begins it's like "area man in his early 20s unsure how to care for small child while also coping with PTSD and a toxic support system" which like. yeah. no shit. there's one hell of a learning curve there)

The thing about Eddie and Shannon as a couple and as parents that always gets to me is that they were so fucking young. We don't know exactly how old Eddie is in the show, but we can guesstimate pretty safely that he's around the same age as Ryan which would make him between 23 and 24 when Chris was born, and it seems reasonable to believe Shannon was around the same age. It's also a pretty common reading in the fandom -- although I'm not sure how much canon support there is for it because we really, really don't know anything about their relationship pre-Christopher unless I'm forgetting something -- that they got married because Shannon got pregnant and that was the Done Thing. And when you're 23-24, baby on the way, freshly married, that is just like. So much. It sure as hell ruined my parents' relationship when they did that exact thing, and then they disliked each other until they were 27 and then they got divorced, and no one was happier than me about it, I have to tell you.

Back to the show, I can only give you my impressions, obviously, but the impression I have always gotten from the whole "I left too" conversation and the context that goes into it and the different behaviours we see exhibited by the characters is that Eddie "left" first and it comes across to me that he was basically an early twenty-something kid running scared from the abstract concept of being a father in general, and then when he was forced home by an honourable discharge, and was confronted with the reality of Christopher, he managed to step the fuck up and become Christopher's dad. It's there in 2x02, right? "Oh, you've got a kid? I love kids!" "I love this one." Eddie doesn't strike me as a Swiss Army Knife all-purpose Dad(tm) the way Bobby is. Eddie is Christopher's dad. (and like, of course, he's obviously moved by kids when he's on a call, we've seen that enough times to know that if there's a child who can even glancingly remind him of Christopher, Eddie's sense of self-preservation goes out the window, and I love that about him as heart-stopping as it can be in practice)

Shannon, on the other hand, didn't run from the idea of being a mother -- at first. When she left, it wasn't from the abstract. She left Chris (and "gave up" on Eddie, thanks Helena). She was not running from a concept, she was running from a reality. I think Shannon is a fascinating character to include in a television show as a side character, because she really isn't a one note character. Like, she was unarguably a bad mother, and from what we saw, she was a questionable romantic partner to have (but as you said, anon, Eddie was also not 100% the best romantic partner when he was with Shannon either; their entire relationship so far as I can tell was built on sexual chemistry which, uh, super does not sustain a relationship), but she also seems to have been a devoted daughter? I mean, yeah, it's entirely possible that her mom being sick was a convenient excuse to bail -- and obviously she didn't come back after her mom died, and didn't, y'know, contact her son or husband in the interim, so yes, I can see that being a valid way to read the situation. I don't think she's the Ultimate Evil, because she strikes me as a very human character in all the ways that people are more often than not really fucking flawed.

But then we get back to the actual break-up scene. The first time I watched it (and second, and third; then the fourth time the person I was watching with was like "I mean, sure, but it could also be read in this light") her "I'm just learning how to be someone's mother" speech really bothered me? Partly because it was the abstraction of it, right? Eddie doesn't like kids, he likes Christopher, and Shannon sort of had the inverse journey there, I guess, where it went from she didn't know how to be Christopher's mother, to she didn't know how to be a mother. And that speech bothered me because it always sounded to me like she was bailing again. She begged Eddie to let her back into Christopher's life (guilt? I guess?) and like, straight up bribed him with sex which was sure a choice, and then decides -- for a second time -- that she's out. It sounded, to me, she was handing Eddie papers and maybe, in a few years, possibly, once she'd had "time" to "figure out how to be someone's mother" she would try again. Just like she had in the interim between leaving when Christopher was little and the time of season 2.

And like, that could totally be a misunderstanding of the scene and what she was saying. It's what I took away from it, but that could very well be influenced by the fact I was raised by divorced parents and my dad had custody and if you count up all the time I spent with either parent when I was a minor, I was predominantly raised by my father and have had an especially tempestuous relationship with my mother that is mostly (sometimes) repaired now that I'm in my late twenties and have not lived with her since I was sixteen.

Back to the show, and to your comment that the fandom tends to treat Shannon like the Ultimate Evil and act like Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, I mean. Yeah. Fandom as a rule tends to shirk nuance. We're all fools here on the internet sitting in our blue industrial waste container crying about a wee woo show. I personally believe a more nuanced take on that might be that Eddie has shown a great capacity to learn from his mistakes (sometimes to make fun, shiny, new ones, but for the most part, just like ends up doing better the next time) and Shannon did not show that capacity in the time we knew her.

I think, depending on what they did with it, there was potential for an interesting storyline if they'd played through the divorce. I don't think it would've been rehashing ground covered by Michael and Athena's divorce because I can't see Eddie and Shannon having reached a point of amicability and friendship. The only thing we know they had in common was Christopher, and frankly, when you boil it down, the ways they engaged with Christopher as a person were so disparate that -- to me -- it really didn't seem like they had Christopher in common when you get right down to it. But I wouldn't have wanted to see Christopher and Eddie dragged through an ugly divorce process. They deserve better than that.

There's also a conversation to be had about Shannon's blatant ableism towards her own son, but that is extremely not my lane since I am not disabled myself. But even from an outside perspective, basically their entire parking lot conversation in Haunted, uh, haunts me with it's repugnance and the fact that instead of calling her on any of it, Eddie "Chronically touch starved" Diaz's response was to kiss her? Gosh golly do I wish that was one of the mistakes he learned from properly instead of finding a new, shiny version.

ANYWAY this got long, tl;dr (although if you clicked on the read more, you probably read it) version is No, Shannon is not the Ultimate Evil, she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress; and No, Eddie is not a flawless human who's never done wrong in his life but holy fuck is he trying and he'd be the first person to tell you he's made mistakes (and often has been); and no, sorry, I don't want to see the divorce storyline play out because we probably would've had to see either Eddie Bashing, Shannon Redemption, or Shannon turning up again like a cardboard cut out of a cartoon villain the way Eva did and I want to be witness to exactly zero of those things.

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

summer sizzle | blackout - trent beretta [m]

[prompts used]

As suggested by my lovely Lemon.. Lean into the awkwardness. Ahhh.. I fucking hope this is exactly what you pictured bc I legit couldn’t have made this idea FINALLY work without your input.

** the rest of these prompts come from various lists I squirreled away on the internets. One day, I need to sit down and link to every single list I’ve used. Until then, credit to the prompt creators, I own literally nothing but the scenario and the original character **

Don’t look away + catching someone undressing + “I thought you didn’t peek!” “I don’t have to peek to know you’re hot.” ( belongs to Lemon, btw)  + Staring at each other’s lips for a moment before moving closer, as if drawn together by some unseen force. + “You’re so beautiful.” - Trent Beretta | Roommates/mutual pining au

[pairing] 

Trent Beretta x OFC

[warnings]

18+ only. All kids, exit stage left fucking yesterday pls and thanks? uhhh.. this is so fluffy it’ll rot ya teeth. because i didn’t see Trent being any other way. Body fluids. Oral (male giving), masturbation, heaavy sexual tension. OH YEAHH... unprotected sex.

[tag squad]

@kyleoreillysknee​

@rampagewriting​

@writertoo18​

@thatnerdwriter​

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure​

@chasingeverybreakingwave​

@waywardwrestlewritingwaif​

@sassymox​

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@wrestlingthot​

@unabashedwrestlefics​ 

[ tag list - masterlist - about page ]

                            TRENT BERETTA in BLACKOUT,

Just as I shut the door to the apartment, the storm raging outside reached a fever pitch, a clap of thunder loudly rattling the window and momentarily sending the lights to flicker. I tugged off my soaked jacket and scarf, letting them settle on the floor next to Trent’s gym bag and I sat my messenger bag and keys down on the table before bending down to pull off the boots I was wearing. My feet were killing me, it’d been a really long day and all I wanted right now was a hot shower.

Literally nothing else mattered but getting out of my wet clothing and getting warm again. 

“Trent! I’m home!” I called out to my roommate. I paused for a minute or two and waited. When he didn’t say anything, I figured that he might be asleep because he’d gotten a late flight in the night before. So I made my way down the hall quietly and stepped into the bathroom, wasting no time in peeling off my clothes. The lights flickered again and then I actually heard the shower running.

I froze in place, biting my lip.

Trent was obviously not asleep like I’d thought upon entering. No, he was showering and for the third time in a week, we’d managed to burst in on each other awkwardly. I was just about to back out of the bathroom and make a hasty retreat to my own room right beside it to wait it out, but then I heard him groaning.

When I heard him groaning my name, though, that’s when my knees turned to jelly. I was about to turn around and reach for the knob but the lights flickered and then went out completely.

“SHIT!” I shrieked before I even realized that I’d been trying to make a quiet exit. To keep things from getting any more awkward between the two of us. The shower cut off and Trent stepped out before my flight mode kicked in and for some stupid reason, rather than take a step back and hurry to leave the bathroom like I’d been intending, I took a step forward instead, slipping on my wet jeans. Trent reached out quickly, catching me just as I fell into him. I took a shaky breath and tried to brace myself to look up at him as my eyes adjusted to the lack of light. If I thought my knees were like jello before, it was so much worse now because the way hard muscles pressed against my softer body was both somehow sheer heaven and complete torture. 

For a few seconds that felt like they dragged on for hours, the two of us stood there staring. I licked my lips and swallowed hard, stepping away reluctantly. Trent bit his lip and I watched helplessly as his throat bobbed when he swallowed hard. 

The lights came on again and Trent realized that I’d come in and stripped down and he turned away quickly, a lingering “Fuck” mumbled under his breath after he called out to me, “I’m not looking!” once he was totally turned away. I grabbed for the nearest thing I could find to slip on and cover myself. Slipping his shirt over my head. Once I’d done it, I tapped Trent’s shoulder so he’d know it was safe to turn around.He turned around a little faster than I was expecting and we found ourselves body to body all over again. One of his hands raised, going to wet hair as he took a deep breath and then proceeded to burst into laughter.

I pouted, but then the humor in the whole thing hit me too and I nearly doubled over myself, a hand lightly resting against his bicep to keep myself upright. “Oh god, this is classic. I even managed to put on the wrong shirt.” I barely managed to get the words out through my laughter and Trent’s body brushed against mine. The laughter died on my lips as I remembered exactly what he’d been doing and whose name he’d moaned a time or two when I’d burst in on him a few minutes before and I could feel my skin heating up all over because naturally, my eyes darted down and I swallowed hard almost the second I realized that he was strained against the towel. I tore my eyes away quickly and walked my fingers up and down his chest, managing a quieter laugh. “I’m sorry, I..”

“It’s fine. I’m honestly not complaining. I had a good view.” Trent’s eyes locked on me and he gave this teasing little smirk as he shrugged. 

It surprised me when he said it and I clenched my thighs tight as my eyes met his and I immediately felt myself getting lost in the depths. He gave me this almost teasing little grin and I took a breath. “I thought you didn’t peek!” I pouted up at him slightly as I tilted my head. My fingers caught in the curly ends of my hair and I twisted a curl around, tapping my foot at him, giving an amused soft giggle when his mouth opened and then closed and then opened again.

“I don’t have to peek to know you’re hot.” he muttered, a husky tone to his voice as he spoke.

My thighs went from slippery to flooded and I blinked as the words sank in. He stepped closer and our bodies rubbing together had a shiver passing through my body as he gazed down at me with a tender look in his eyes and his tongue trailed over the outline of his lips only making me want to raise to tiptoe, pull myself against him and pull his mouth down to cover mine. Just the thought of it had me squirming under his tender gaze.

“Back at you.” the words came tumbling out as I closed the distance between us just a little more. Trent’s arm shot out, wrapping around me to pull me even closer and my breath caught in my throat at the suddenness of it. “Back at me, huh?” he was leaning in a little, his nose bumping against mine. I gave in to the fit of giggles that kept threatening to take over and his fingertips dug into my lower back lightly. It was unintentional, but I rubbed against him and he groaned quietly. “Glad this is amusing to you.” he pretended to pout as he tilted my chin so that I had to look him in the eye instead of just staring at his chest, totally distracted. Turned on. Fully aware of the tension thickening in the air around us and not sure what to do about it.

“It’s not amusing. I mean it was funny, but..” I trailed off, blowing at hair as it flopped right down into my eyes. 

“But?” Trent insisted, reaching out with his free hand to tuck the annoying fallen strand of wet hair behind my ear. The closer his face got to mine, the harder it was for me to think. To form words. If I could even come up with anything to say to begin with. I typically can’t around him, the man is a breathing distraction. Walking temptation.

“But I’m only laughing because it takes my mind off of other stuff.” I admitted it quietly, going awkward and about to look down when he tilted my chin again. I swallowed down the lump in my throat as I saw the way his eyes just kind of fixed on my lips as his tongue trailed slowly across his own. 

“What other stuff?” his voice dropped lower, his mouth almost dangerously close to mine by this point. “Because if it’s anything like what I have in mind…” he trailed off in a groan because his mouth brushed clumsily against the corner of my lips. My fingertips dug into his pecs and I leaned against him just a little because if I didn’t I was almost certain I’d puddle to the floor of our bathroom.

I just thought things were intense between us lately. I honestly didn’t have a clue, come to find out.

“That depends on what you have in mind.” I muttered quietly, making myself lock eyes with him as our bodies rubbed against each other just a little more. Trent took one more step closer and my back met the edge of the counter behind me. The hand on my hip dug in, holding me against him and now he was staring at my lips like he had every intention in the world of kissing me.

And I wanted him to do it so badly that I could taste it. I was a breath away from raising to tiptoe and tangling my fingers in his hair just to pull his mouth against mine.

“What if.” Trent rubbed against me a little as he towered over me, his hands all over me. “Yeah?” my mouth grazed against the corner of his as I said it and he groaned quietly, the rest of his question coming in short and heavy pants, “What if I want to kiss you?”

“What if I want you to do more than that?” it slipped out in the heat of the moment before I could even be bothered to censor myself. I bit my lip and went to raise my hand to cover my mouth because honestly, I was shocked I’d said it out loud. Trent’s hand circled my wrist, lowering my hand from my mouth. He released my wrist and both hands wandered down, gripping my ass as he lifted me up and sat me on the edge of the counter, stepping closer all over again. I wrapped my legs around his waist and scooted myself closer to him, biting my lip as his lips inched closer to mine all over again. Agonizingly slow. 

“What if I want to do more than that?” Trent muttered just as his mouth met mine, his lips latching on to my top lip, tugging at it slightly. I pressed myself against him heavily, my arms wrapping around his neck and my fingers tangling in his hair, giving a gentle tug. My legs squeezed at either side of his hips and it caused me to rub against him even more. His tongue slipped past my lips and my fingertips dug into broad shoulders and tugged at wet dark hair as I rubbed against him with more urgence. My tongue clashed with his and he moaned into my mouth, slipping me off the counter and wrapping me around his body as he carried me out of the bathroom and down the hall, into his bedroom without breaking the kiss. My body hit the mattress softly and Trent followed me down, settled over me, propped up with a forearm beside either side of my head as he deepened the kiss even more.

“Just so we’re clear.. You don’t want me to stop.” his words disappeared in the kiss and I breathed out against his lips raggedly the answer, “No.” as I opened my legs, a leg resting on either side of his body as he settled between them. My arms were back around his neck and my fingers caught in his hair all over again, tangling up in thick strands. His head bent, his lips dancing right over my pulse. My heart fluttered lazily as that ever-present sense of calm I felt whenever he was here with me took over. 

“Trent.” my soft moan was smothered by his mouth as it dove back against mine. “Mhm?” the soft murmur against my lips to linger in the air for a split second before being swallowed up by a deepening of the gentle nipping kiss. My back arched away from his mattress and I rubbed against him, a ragged sigh escaping my throat.The kiss broke again and his forehead rested against mine. My fingers hooked in the chain around his neck, tugging his mouth back down against mine all over again, making him chuckle into the kiss, hands roaming and incapable of being still in one area of my body for too long.

And god did those hands feel like heaven against my skin. Each gentle touch had me squirming, struggling to rub against him just a little more. His hand drifted down, fingers splayed over my thigh as he squeezed and his teeth dug into my lower lip. He rocked himself against me, the two of us laughing quietly when our foreheads bumped together and he nearly fell on top of me completely.

“Trent, it’s okay. I’m not made of glass?” I teased gently, making him laugh as my fingertips trailed down the center of his chest, toying with the towel wrapped around his waist as his hand started to move up the hem of the t-shirt I was wearing to cover myself in. “I know.” he locked eyes with me, biting his bottom lip as he tugged the shirt up, tossing it onto the floor of his bedroom with a quiet groan lingering in the air as his eyes roamed slowly over my body. I pouted, squirming against him in a desperate bid for more friction, the sheer need to feel him pressing me into the mattress, his skin against mine. It was driving me crazy and it felt like the more I tried, the more he resisted, determined to draw it out. 

“Trent.” I whined again, a shiver racing through me when he rocked himself against me all over again and his lips settled against my forehead. “What’s your hurry, doll?” the question was muttered against my skin in the softest teasing tone and all I could do was squeeze his hips with my legs and try to rock myself up and into him, my breath catching in my throat when as soon as I did that, I could really feel him straining harder against the thick towel. 

“ Please?” I questioned, giving my best pleading pout as I gazed up at him. He chuckled, leaning down and into me, nuzzling his nose up against mine, damp hair tickling my forehead. As his body rubbed against me a little harder and his fingertips dug in, I rubbed back against him, my breath catching only to come out shaky. I trailed my fingertips just beneath the plush towel, giving a little tug at it, trying desperately not to seem needy but realizing that there was no way to control it.

With a tug, the towel came unwrapped and Trent tossed it into his bedroom floor, his lips meeting mine in a soft and noisy smack as he drawled lazily against my mouth, “Better, doll?”

“Much.” I gave a soft gasp at the feel of skin on skin. Hard muscles on a soft body. Trent’s mouth broke from mine and started to trail lightly down my throat, his teeth catching here and there, totally at random. “You’re so beautiful.”

“You’re kind of handsome too.” I teased, our lips bumping together clumsily. Trent’s teeth caught on my bottom lip, tugging. The soft wet smacks of our kisses seemed to linger in the air between us. My leg bumped against his side and his hand wandered down, squeezing my thigh, holding it there, staring down into my eyes. “Kind of handsome, huh? I could be hurt by that, doll.” he pretended to pout, giving a  quiet laugh as his eyes roamed over me, lingering long enough to make me squirm and try rubbing against him all over again. He rubbed right back against me, making me moan softly when I felt his cock slip between my folds. 

“Oh come off it, Trenty. You know exactly how sexy you are.” I mumbled as I softly planted my lips against the top of his chest, the feel of a strong and steady heartbeat against my lips comforting. They say that when you really love someone, you feel this sense of calm fill you and I was realizing just how true that was. 

He grinned into the kiss, deepening it, his fingertips digging into my body as he rocked me against him all over again. “To be fair, so do you, you little flirt.” he muttered lazily against my mouth as his hands drifted up, one catching hold of both mine, holding them above my head. I pouted a little because he’d stopped kissing me and he wasn’t rubbing me against him anymore either and that ache that had been building only intensified. I needed him touching me, I needed to feel his body against mine, pressing me down into the mattress. I wanted him buried so deep inside that I couldn’t tell where one of us ended and the other began. The realization prompted me to let my legs circle his waist, trying to pull him flat against me, but he nipped at my throat, shaking his head no at me as he licked his lips. 

“Trent.” another needy whine ripped from my mouth, swallowed up by his own when he worked his way back up my throat and crashed it against mine. His hand gripped my ass, squeezing as he rocked himself into me and muttered quietly, “If you had any clue how long I’ve wanted this…” his voice trailed away as his nose bumped against mine, our soft laughter lingering in the air for a few seconds. He pulled his mouth away from mine, rough lips venturing slowly down the front of my throat all over again. 

A shiver wracked my body when I felt them dance across my collarbone and Trent moved himself lower down my body, positioning himself over me all over again. I reached up, fingers carding through thick wet hair and he gave a low growl before dipping his mouth down, little kitten licks against my breasts as his hands journeyed up my body and squeezed them together. “Trent!” I arched up towards him, his name catching in the air as his teeth scraped against my nipples and tugged. 

His mouth crept even lower and I could feel my body tightening up, my pussy practically dripping and throbbing with need. My toes caught in the plaid comforter on his bed and my fingertips dug into his shoulders lightly and I could feel them moving beneath as a shiver passed through. His eyes met mine again as he sank lower, teeth grazing right against the soft surface of my skin as he gave quiet groans. The hand in his hair gave a light tug and it only seemed to encourage him to keep going… But so much slower.

Each slow roll of his tongue over my skin had me squirming beneath him, whimpering and all but begging for it. He chuckled soft against my tummy, his beard leaving a tickling burn against my skin as his mouth worked lower. When I giggled, he stopped and looked up at me, licking his lips and winking. “Keep forgetting how ticklish you are.”

I rose up slightly, extending a hand and catching hold of his jaw to pull his mouth against mine greedily as I mumbled against his lips, “This has nothing to do with me being ticklish.” a teasing wink as the kiss broke and we pulled away from each other. His mouth dove down to my stomach again, his arms hooking beneath my legs as he spread them wider and settled between them. I clutched at the top of his head as his tongue ghosted my navel, rocking myself against him a little. The more I squirmed and moaned, the slower he moved.

Torturing me. Naturally.

When he pressed a kiss against my pelvic mound I bit my lip, tensing in anticipation. Everything happening right now was literally straight out of one of my more wild dreams about the man and yet.. So much more.

By the time his tongue was circling at my clit, my fingers were digging into his shoulders and his hair and all I could do was whimper and rock my hips upward as that ache built even more, sending a slippery wet rush down my inner thighs. 

A slippery wet rush that Trent stopped to lick clean, teeth scraping at skin just a little. Beard burning up the insides of my thighs as his mouth moved higher and higher and two fingers worked me open carefully, a quiet growl escaping his mouth when he realized just how wet I was. “Fuck.” his breath was warm against sensitive skin and I felt goosebumps all over as his tongue rolled lazily right up my center and back around my clit. When his lips locked on the circular bundle of nerves, I sucked in a sharp breath only to have it catch in my throat as his fingers delved deeper inside, stretching me out a little. The soft wet sounds hung heavily in the air and I tried literally everything I could think of just to keep from actually crying in frustration at how slow and tender and focused Trent was on what he was doing.

My toes curled against the comforter as his tongue joined his fingers, soft wet slurps filling the air and competing with my whimpers and whining in volume. “Trent, ahh.. Oh..” 

When I rocked my hips upward to meet his tongue and fingers, he chuckled quietly against my pussy, muttering a softly spoken “Sweet.” as his fingertips dug into my body just to keep me still. I pouted, propping a little to stare down at him, panting for my next breath and shaking just a little more. 

I felt his tongue form the shape of a T and I moaned, managing to fight the grip of his fingers to rock my hips against his mouth. By the time he got to E, I was squirming even more, begging because my orgasm was so close to shattering through me. I felt him smirk against my cunt and when his teeth grazed against my tender and throbbing clit, I moaned out loud, the sound echoing off the walls of his bedroom. By the time he’d finished spelling his name against my skin, I was begging, breathless and dripping. Trent’s tongue delved back into my pussy, my head fell back against the bed and I rocked my hips against it, my orgasm getting closer and closer.

“Fuck. Doll.” Trent groaned against my cunt as he ground himself against the mattress a little, “You ready for me?”

“Please.” I begged, breathless and gripping at his hair as my other hand raised, resting against my forehead, fingers tangling in my own hair, tugging lightly. “Now, Trent.. Need you now.” 

“Okay, baby. You got me.” Trent answered in a lazy drawl, raising up to his knees, his hand lowering, circling his thick length and dragging it along my folds, making me suck in a sharp breath and shiver just a little. He settled against me, carefully, making me giggle as I pressed a soft kiss against his mouth. His hands settled on my hips and he slowly slipped it in, sending a shiver racing through me as he did. 

I dragged my hand through his hair, pulling his mouth deeper, his tongue parting my lips as my legs wrapped around his waist and he groaned into the kiss, our soft smacks the only sound for a few seconds as he sank his cock even deeper inside, growling and snapping his hips against me slowly as soon as he was buried to the hilt. His hand left my hip, settling on the side of my face, his thumb trailing lazily over my skin as he stared down at me intently, catching his breath before his lips settled deep against mine all over again.

“Trent.” I breathed out, rocking against his slow and steady drives, stretched and filled, the pleasure almost blinding at this point. “C’mon baby. Faster.. Please?” I caught hold of his jaw, making him look at me, my tongue rolling over the outline of his lips. He sped up just a little, muttering in awe against my mouth when he pulled it against his all over again for another deep kiss, “Not gonna be able to stop doing this.” and I answered breathlessly, “I don’t want you to.”

His cock struck against my spot and I whimpered, clinging to him. “Feels so good.” he mumbled quietly against my mouth, conquering it with another deep and slow kiss as he started to fuck into me slower, almost pulling totally out only to drive back into my cunt deep over and over again. “Doll…” he groaned aloud as my nails dug into his shoulders and my legs clenched his waist tighter, my heels digging into his ass in an attempt to drive him even deeper inside. 

His hips pressed down into mine harder, his thrusts nearly driving me into the mattress, the soft smack of our bodies meeting over and over filling the room. “Whoa.” he groaned as his hips stammered against me and he paused, pressing little kisses across the bridge of my nose and my cheeks, chuckling quietly, “Was starting to feel way too good.” he muttered lazily against my mouth when I reached out and pulled it against mine greedily, answering into the soft deep kiss, “I know.. Didn’t want you to stop, honestly.” 

“Oh really now?” he asked, biting his lip as we pulled away from the kiss, staring at one another. He started to fuck into me again, hips flat against mine and pressing me down. I lowered my legs and he took a shaky breath, bottoming out inside of me. “You didn’t want me to stop, hm?”

“No. I didn’t. Ugh, fuck.. Trent. C’mon. Please baby.” I gasped, my nails digging into his shoulder and back all over again as he gripped my hips, holding me still, pumping his cock in and out faster, harder. As deep as he could possibly go until I wanted to see stars and I could feel my body starting to tense and spasm a little with each thrust. “So tight. It’s drivin me crazy.” he growled against my skin as his teeth sank into a patch of skin just above my collarbone, his lips latching on as he continued to fuck into me. 

“Trent, fuck. Oh god I’m-...” I trailed off as my head tilted back and I tried to catch my breath, my orgasm about to take over. I literally couldn’t stop it. Trent muttered against my throat, “C’mon, doll. Let go for me.”

I didn’t need the coaxing he gently gave. My orgasm racked me, leaving me clingy and limp, my hips desperately trying to meet his as I moaned his name over and over and actually nipped at a patch of skin above his collarbone just to keep from screaming bloody murder. It flooded me with such a blinding intensity I almost couldn’t catch my breath, my pussy clinging to his cock, making him slow down a little to let me pull myself together, soft kisses all over my face and neck as he did so. “Doll… that felt..” he started and I breathed out against his mouth, “Amazing, baby.” as he started to pump into me all over again, his fingertips digging lightly into my hips, pumping me up and down on his cock, quiet groans and growls. I could feel him tense and he leaned down and mumbled next to shell of my ear, “Don’t wanna stop, fuck.” as he pulled out, his hand fisting his cock, staring down at me from above, biting his lip as he bucked his hips against his hands and his cock throbbed, erupting, his warm seed splashing against my skin and settling. Just watching him had me squirming and moaning, my hands wandering slowly over my body to give him something to focus on as he came hard.

He leaned down, gripping my chin lightly and pulled my mouth against his as he slid off the bed and pulled me up, letting me wrap around his body. “C’mon. We’re gonna shower together and save water.”

“Mmm. Sounds nice.” I drawled lazily as I rested my face against the space between his neck and shoulders.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[spelviin]

endgame thoughts, not because i think i have anything valuable to say abt it, more just bc i want to get my initial unsullied opinions out before various overly nitpicky or overly praisy internet thinkpieces come around

okay so. first of all, i’m tired to death of the way folks talk about the mcu. like, it’s either a godly feat of everything and the most important thing ever or the literal devil incarnate and the source of all evil in this world. i am literally so fucking bored of both these perspectives and have zero time for either of them. 

yes, the mcu is emblematic of a lot of problems in the current state of the film medium as a whole. yes, it is also a really cool feat of storytelling that a whole bunch of movies spanning a whole bunch of years could all come together and culminate in a big huge blowout finale. yes, it could have been far better, but yes, it also could have been far worse. 

i wasn’t a fan of thor being a punchline in this film. like, the whole “lol thor fat” thing was like, really tired and not cool. and the fact that his genuine moments of expressing grief and the significant trauma he’s been through were played off for laughs more often than not bc “lol thor supposed to be big many man but he’s crying like a wimpyboy instread.” like, fucking please. it’s 2019 and other male characters were allowed to be shown crying and processing their trauma but thor’s??? not allowed for some reason??? anyway they did him dirty in this movie and i’m not super pleased abt that. 

i didn’t like that they fridged natasha. i’m not a fan of scarjo so much these days, but i did like natasha. 2012 me adored her and was 100000% behind her as the Only Woman (despite being miffed that she was the Only Woman) and i really liked her character and redemption arc through the films that she appeared in. and like, i get the justification for fridging her. like i get that she was this assassin who killed a bunch of folks and in the end, not only wiped out the red in her ledger, but saved the whole damn universe in doing so. i get that. i’m just annoyed that they literally went and fridged the Only Woman to give the boys manpain before the third act. 

speaking of the ladies.... the One Scene Where Women Get To Do Things. my god. the critical feminist part of my mind greatly resented the obvious lip service of that scene, and the fact that the ladies only got the one shining moment before we got back to the sausage fest. but lord, the lesbian part of my mind hella enjoyed it. like i was legit bouncing in my seat like YESSSS FUCK EM UP LADIES i was just completely stoked. 

and my god. MY GOD CAN WE TALK ABOUT CAROL’S HAIRCUT AKA A GIFT TO THE LESBIANS. THIS MOVIE HAS MANY SINS BUT WE CAN ALL THANK IT FOR THAT HAIRCUT. (and again, feminist me is like, hey, dont focus on her appearance, focus on the important shit she did in singlehandedly turning the battle around for everyone, but lesbian lizard brain is hhhhhhhhhhhhh girl hot)

anyways. 2012 me was a month out of a major jaw surgery when i saw the first avengers, puffy faced, on heavy painkillers, and unable to eat any solid foods, and just generally weak and miserable. i dragged myself to the theatre and i smiled the whole way through that movie bc even though i was feeling super shitty, that 360 shot of the team made me so excited and happy. so happy that i watched and rewatched a bootleg download over what was probably the worst summer of my life, and it made me happy and gave me hope, dumb as that may sound. 

i havent watched the first avengers movie in a long time, and i’m not sure if i’d feel the same way seeing it now. remembering how it felt then still makes me happy, but seeing that same 360 shot repeated in endgame didnt stoke much emotion. tumblr fandom took a lot of my avengers joy away. the drama and character hate and constant complaining and cringe culture bullshit exhausted me. and the recent turns of the mcu also contributed to that. a lot of things contributed to it, i guess. but i dont feel as happy as i once did. so a lot of this movie rang a little bit hollow, needless to say. 

that being said, though, i did feel a little flicker of that joy. for all the movie’s and the franchise’s faults, of which there are many, i can say that the moment where all those portals opened up and the revived characters stepped though, i felt that happiness again. i legit almost cried when i saw shuri’s silhouette step out of that circle. that moment when the score came in with that booming version of the avengers theme, i was 2012 me again, just for a moment, and i think that’s worth something. to me, that’s worth something. so for all its sins, i thank the movie for that. 

this is rly rambly and im tired so im just gonna say 2 more things. things i’m not personally super invested in, but other people are, and so i feel i need to have an opinion on em.

first is bucky. i fucking adore him, and i am kinda miffed that he got like, no interactions with steve. i know steve/peggy is the canon ship, i knew it was always endgame (heh) and that stucky is just a fandom thing. but god damn it, even if they were never gonna have their relationship go there (which tbh i literally never even came close to expecting to happen) it still feels a little bit unfair to have steve basically ignore probably the most important person in his life. like, i know he wanted to live his happy straight life with peggy, and passing on the shield and identity of captain america to sam is super important, and i loved that moment and would never begrudge him that bc i adore sam. i was just... really sad that bucky had to get kinda shafted for that. (literally all i was saying in the last half hour was “but where’s bucky? but what about bucky?” our boy deserved better. 

second is tony. tony tony tony. i know folks have a lot of strong feelings about him, both ways. i know of folks who think he’s the scum of the earth for some dumb reason, and i personally know others who think the entire mcu should revolve around him, for equally dumb reasons. i’m more neutral. i think he’s a good character who made questionable decisions in the past. i feel for him and his struggles with PTSD. i respect him as a character in-universe and also for what he and RDJ accomplished. like, if he hadn’t hit it out of the park with that first movie like a fucking decade ago, none of this would have been possible, and i think that’s pretty damn cool, regardless of feelings on the monster juggernaut the mcu has turned into. basically, i know some folks are maliciously rejoicing at his death while complaining that he got a hero’s send-off when he is a Bad And Not Morally Pure Man, which is. boring. and other people (namely one who i know personally in my family) who are mad because he is an Angel and deserved the Best Happy Ending Because No Bad Things Are Allowed To Happen To This Perfect Boy. i’m not here for either opinion. i’m okay that he died (peter crying over him did get to me in a huge way, but i think tom holland just has a power that if he’s crying, i’m crying so idk). i think it’s cool that he got to save everyone and got a heroic and well deserved send off. this isnt a revolutionary opinion i just wanted to throw it out there bc im bored with the polarization. 

and... yeah? i think that’s it? sorry, im really tired and this probs doesn’t make sense but i just felt like i had to get the initial reactions and feelings down before the thinkpieces get to me lmao. 

oh, also nebula deserved better 2kforever i just love her a lot and want her to be happy and not suffer, kthxbye 

[maman-suho]

WHAT IF - Got7 members were cursed and became girls for one day

Version française

(Stupid) Plot : Once upon a time there was anti witch. One day she send them a letter saying “Because I wish you could understand what it is to be a woman before singing shi*** stuff like Girls Girls Girls, be prepared to turn into girls for one whole day. Good luck.”. And the day after, all got7 members were turned into girls. 

Note : When I say girl  I mean, physically. They’re still theirselves on the inside.

Words : 1140

While Mark had woken up without realizing it, Bambam instantly felt the difference

Immediately he touched his boobs 

but then realized he doesn’t really have some cause he’s still skinny as fuck

and as soon as he got up, he tried his clothes

just to realize they still fit him perfectly 

Because indeed, the difference wasn’t that big

Witch is not the case of Yugyeom... poor boy

He might have big breasts, his oversized sweaters made him feel like a flag

and turned him into a clumsy mess

this guy even tried to dance, but felt terrible because he doesn’t have a bra

and god knows it hurts

so he stopped

And when Bambam arrived (on high heels, of course, cause he’s sassy and bc shoe lifts are overrated when you’re a girl) they started to do shit tgt,

comparing theirselves and screaming w/ high pitched voices (help)

The noise had attracted evil Jinyoung

who wanted them to shut up

But he got instantly whistle at by Jackson.

“Nice ass!” he said by raising his eyebrows

Jinyoung smiled against his will because wang gae park gae for ever ykwim

Jackson would be a really sexy girl tbh

Like a curvy fit girl

and everybody would know that fact because

he would have shared it on ig

in a story, w/ a bikini and a wicked smiley,

tagged “too cool to be a woman guys! Am I hot?”

And everybody would agree, of course

Everybody except Yugyeom, 

because while Bambam started to polish his nails like he already did as a man 

the maknae started to feel pain in his lower abdomen

and soon came out of the bathroom panicked

because he peed blood

“You didn’t peed blood, you have your period” answered Mark, absolutely neutral

Jinyoung would have laugh so hard 

and then be (gently) hit by Yugyeom

“That’s not funny it hurts like hell!”

And when a web site (because they had to search on internet to be sure) mentioned he had to go to the convenience store to buy sanitary pads

Yugyeom blushed

So Jinyoung accepted to go w/ him

And Jackson too because it’s so funny to be a girl

“I got accosted three times on my way here, be careful guys, men are dogs.” said Mark before they leave

An awkward silent had then invaded the room before Bambam spoke.

“Hmm... Usually we’re men, do you remember?”

“Honestly, when I look at you I don’t see any difference.”

Awkwardness then vanished w/ laughs, they left 

But on their way to the store nothing happened even if they clearly understood why Mark had to face that situation

In fact Mark was really fabulous as a girl,

even dressed w/ oversized men clothes

When they arrived at the convenience store Jackson bet he was able to get the checkout boy phone number, and leave

to start flirting with him in an awkward provocative way

Meanwhile Yugyeom and Jinyoung had difficulties to decide on what type of pads they had to buy

Then Jinyoung saw a guy behind them,

he was clearly glaring at Yugyeom ass

so mode ‘mummy Jinyoung’ now activated, he yelled at him, with a terrifying expression

“Hey ! What are you looking at you little...”

And the guy, scared to the bones, left without a word

while Yugyeom couldn’t help but reddened

“Mark was right. I didn’t know men could be that horrible...” he concluded w/ a sigh before

Jackson came back, a phone number in his hand

“I got a number from a guy !” he exclaimed when they came back

“I guess he gave it to you because you intimidated him w/ your muscles...” said Bambam with a laugh

“It’s cool to have muscles, even when you’re a girl you know.”

But then the room became silent, every new comer paralyzed in amazement, 

their eyes stucked on Youngjae sat on the sofa

“Damn Youngjae” said Jackson while Yugyeom only breathed a “wow”

Indeed Youngjae was stunning, looking even more beaming as a girl than usual

His face fitting perfectly to be a girl, and a really cute one

“What?!” He abruptly asked, not girly anymore

“Nothing you’re just... wow!”

“Yeah.” said Bambam. “Hyung, honestly, I think I would have flirt w/ you if I was a boy” he stupidly laugh.

“I think you better called him ‘unnie’ now” laugh Mark while Yugyeom escaped to the bathrooms

After a while everything was calm again

Bambam had brought up the idea of sleeping with a man to check the difference

after Yugyeom expressed with his unbearable voice how it’s horrible to have periods.

They started to make a list on who’s the sexiest, the prettiest and the cutest member

then planned to go out to have a drink as girls

before Youngjae asked where’s JB

“He locked himself up in his room since the morning. He said he had work to do”

But everybody knew it was fake

Jaebum was just dealing with losing his virility, alone

like he couldn’t even go to the studio to do music cause his voice wasn’t okay

“I’ll stay there” he has asked when Jinyoung and Youngjae came to know if he was okay and if he wanted to go out with the band

“I have an idea to hurry up” suddenly said Mark “Bambam, just come here and disrespect the hermit!"

So after the fake maknae enjoyed being a little shit for a minute JB exited his room

“I knew he was hot! Bam you owe me 10!” exclaimed Mark.

And he was right, Jaebum was hot. Blasé, but hot.

“Okay I’m out” he said turning around to go back to his room

But Jackson stopped him, and soon they we’re all out, having a drink together

But they forgot they were girls

and they didn’t expected to not holding their drinks as good as before

so soon every of them was drunk

They started to approximately sing their songs to check if they have a better future as a girls band

And then the waiter accosted JB to say he was cute

So Jaebum died from shame, 

hiding himself in his sweater

and disappearing under the table

Bambam even took a picture

Then started the drunken debate ‘Is it cool to be a girl?”

Opposing the team “No it sucks” w/ JB, Yugyeom and Mark

against the “It’s soooo cool omg” including Jackson and Bambam

while Youngjae and Jinyoung stayed indifferent

because as Jackson said “of course it doesn’t change anything for you. You still have a peach booty and you a cute face...”

So on this wises words, the day ended 

And this is how got7 spent their day as girls.

[araliaceaes]

IVY LANGSTON ( CIS FEMALE & SHE/HERS )? oh, aren’t they the TWENTY-TWO year old DARK WITCH who works as a BARISTA at THE ROASTED BEAN? word on the streets is that they are BOLD & DYNAMIC, but they can also be DEFIANT & IMPETUOUS. by the way, they look eerily similar to JESSICA HENWICK, don’t they? ( izzie / 21 / pst / she/hers ) 

like this if you wanna plot!

FULL NAME: ivy amelia langston AGE: 22 PRONOUNS / GENDER: cis female / she/hers SPECIES: human ( witch ) HOUSING: an apartment in frenchtown with a couple of protection spells around it. FAMILY: her mother, her stepfather, and three step-siblings. on some days, she actually gets along fine with her step-siblings. she and her mother are estranged. she hates her stepfather. BACKSTORY:

( tw: emotional and verbal abuse )

a human and a witch fall in love, but like many tragic love stories, there is no happy ending. the human doesn’t know the witch is a witch, and when she finds out, she leaves and takes their child with them, swearing their---her---daughter will have nothing to do with magic. but i’m one of the good witches, her lover protests. the woman doesn’t see the difference: they’re all dealing with the devil.

and so the girl is named ivy langston, given her mother’s surname and nothing of her father, though she looks more like him with her dark hair and dark eyes than the blonde and blue of her mother. the two move to the suburbs of massachusetts just a short drive from the coast, and they’re lulled into normalcy.

her mother soon meets a man full of charisma with no spells or potions in sight, and when ivy turns four, they marry. she’s not even jealous of her new stepbrother, born a year later; she gets candy when she asks for it and her parents buy her books and dolls and a gameboy. in the back of her mind, she knows her father is not really her father, but she never bothers to ask. why should she? after all, everything is perfect.

but cracks start to show. children are cruel when you look different, especially when you look different from the rest of your family. middle school is no better, and ivy fights back. she’s a regular at detention and she becomes known for her argumentative personality.

the biggest crack, the one that shatters everything, is when her mother finds out she’s a witch just like her dad. childhood wishes turn into reality, and kids who are mean to her suddenly get sick or trip over nothing. ivy’s mom starts to turn on her, a reminder of a man she never wants anything to do with again, and all of ivys attempts to win her mother’s affection ( drawings and tugs on sleeves and good grades ) are in vain. even as a young girl, she can sense the hostility, how her mother’s eyes wander over her to her other children, how she greets them warmly but greets ivy with dismissal. 

if there is one thing her mother has been sincere about when it comes to her, it is harsh disapproval. nothing ivy ever does gets her mother to look at her as someone other than as a mistake, a girl with the same magic running through her veins as her father’s; she swears she saw fear flash across her mother’s face, too.

high school is better. she’s more outgoing, more fun. she finds a passion for art, makes new friends, throws herself into a thriving social life, searching for the attention and affection she never receives at home. she brings home c’s and b’s, d’s on her worst days, but it’s not like anyone cares. she tries to spend as little time at home as possible; all she gets from her mother is emotional and verbal abuse if not dismissal, and her stepfather’s not much different. there’s always arguments happening in the langston house.

all but cut off from her supernatural side except for passing comments her mother makes, it’s up to her to figure out this shit on her own. her dad’s nowhere to be found, thanks to her mother. social media brings her together with a couple of other witches from her school, and they form a little coven, helping and teaching other magic. there’s solidarity and security in it, even if they aren’t always using spells and potions for the good of society. her ex was shit, so why not hex him?

when the unveiling happens, ivy knows she has to get the hell out of her house. her stepdad’s revealed to be a hunter, her mom’s anti-supernatural, and ivy’s never felt more suffocated in her life. her stepdad might not realize she’s more than human now, but she’s not sticking around for him to find out. as soon as graduation hits, she takes all the money she’s saved and takes off for art school in rhode island. 

college is full of flings and parties and loud laughter and feeling almost whole. four years pass and she’s lost again. she’s not going back to massachusetts, but when a friend of a friend tells her about fairview, she figures it’s a good place for another fresh start. she gets an apartment in frenchtown and a job as a barista, working as a freelance illustrator on the side.

PERSONALITY:

she’s daring, vivacious, and brash with a tendency to jump first and look later, but she gets along easily with a variety of people due to how vibrant and genuine she is. a definite spitfire with a love for life and a good time, she also has a sharp tongue and a temper on her. likes attention and searches for it in parties, the beds of strangers and almost lovers. 

makes arguably bad decisions, both when sober and drunk. insecure and unsure as hell, but covers it up with faked confidence and a smartass attitude. not much of a filter. trying her best while at the same time not trying at all. she is also unapologetically, wholly herself even if she isn’t quite sure who that is all the time. if you don’t like it, she doesn’t care---she’s tried to be someone she’s not before, and she’s tired of it.

bisexual biracial babe

dark witch bc she’d rather side with the supernaturals than the humans, despite having a foot in both worlds. and she’s always been a bit of a spiteful, petty thing.

MISC.

Does your character have any nicknames? if you can come up with a nickname for ivy, be my guest

Does your character have any distinguishing features such as tattoos, scars, piercings, etc? she has a few tattoos; one on her thigh, another on her back, and one on her arm. she has a few piercings on her ears, as well.

What is your character like in relationships? Are they clingy? Faithful or unfaithful? Do they jump from one relationship to the other? Do they even have an interest in something romantic? she’s faithful in relationships but with a tendency to leave before people can’t too close in fear that they’ll abandon her. so, she’d rather be the one to cut off. jumps from one relationship to another quite quickly because of her need for affection. kind of a serial monogamist who also has flings in between??? she really enjoys sex, too. 

What kind of things does your character like? What do they dislike? she likes alcohol, nightlife, binging netflix, drawing, painting, and being around others. big on art. she dislikes boredom, authority, being told what to do, bigotry, and being hungover. good thing there are potions for that!

How does your character treat their friends and family? How about strangers? Enemies? she is steadfastly loyal to her friends, and while she’s not great at advice, she’s always there to listen and help them get their minds off things. she’s fun. she likes a good time. she’s friendly to strangers, supernatural or otherwise, and tries not to antagonize them. as for the rest? fuck her enemies, and fuck her family. 

Where does your character go when they are angry? she likes to go the gym and punch her feelings out. or she goes running. she likes to stay active otherwise her anger will consume her, and it’s one of the few times she likes to be alone.

Does your character have a secret? If so, what is it? once a spell went very, very wrong and the outcome was very, very bad

Does your character have any flaws? What are they? she is headstrong, reckless, and spiteful. she doesn’t like to face her problems until she absolutely has to, and she’d rather numb her pain than deal with it. she’s argumentative, pushing buttons simply because she can; she can also easily say the wrong thing at the wrong time. and she has her vices. she’s also rather dependent on people; she needs to be surrounded by others to feel loved, and she has a hard time being alone. surprisingly, she’s also the type to keep her problems bottled up until she bursts.

WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS:

i’d love some friends! people who showed her around fairview when she first moved there / helped her settle in, maybe. some ride or dies. new friends. party friends who really only get drunk and high together; it’s fun, but a rather surface-level friendship. drinking buddies who end up having a heart-to-heart and becoming better friends.

will they won’t they, flings, friends with benefits, slow burn????? 

enemies & rivals. she’s probably pissed some people off, and she’s not one to hold back when she doesn’t like someone. 

witches! dark witches who are trying to further bring her into the ~dark side~ or light witches who are trying to sway her away being a dark witch. an older witch who can be a mentor. she’s mostly self-taught, a magical education cobbled together through old spellbooks, the internet, and other witches she’s come across. girl’s got a lot to learn. witchy friends would be cool too :’)

anything and everything

[pappydaddy]

Obx anon here lmao I hope you're not sick of me. 😭😂

I definitely agree the whole Kie vs her parents arc was very badly handled bc it made her seem more ungrateful than she probably is. I just really couldn't stand her this season, I mean she wasn't my fav character to begin with she definitely already had those moments in S1. I mean she was 80% annoyed with something this season sooo... 💀

I'm kinda surprised that so many ship her with JJ bc I got the impression from her she's rather their friend than be romantically interested in any of them. Like she mostly acts annoyed around JJ, for example in S2ep10 when they both stayed together in the ship container she literally rolled her eyes at him while saying "now it's only us" , so I'm sorry I can't really get on board with this when 85% of their interactions are like this. Or maybe it's just me because I love JJ so much and I think he deserves better idk please don't come for me. 😭 I can totally see her in a relationship outside the friend group plus it's super weird if she would go through every guy in her circle idk. The entire Pope thing was so unnecessary and I still hate her for playing him like that.

Dude I'm way too invested in this show I basically binged the entire thing in two days bc I refused to watch it until this year. I already knew this would happen based on the things I saw on the Internet and I didn't want to add another fictional white boy to my list of characters I'm hopelessly in love with, but here I am daydreaming about JJ Maybank like I predicted a year ago. 🙃🤦🏻‍♀️💀 (might fuck around and start writing fanfics for him bc I can't help myself)

Definitely a highlight of this season was JJ stealing a fucking ambulance bc ofc he would. Like he's so loyal to his friends my heart can't handle this 😭❤️ He definitely has Steve Harrington energy another white boy who stole my heart 😂🙃 I wish both would get more development as normal characters and are not treated as punching bags (literally) and comic relief characters.

I can't wait for season 3 and how this entire thing ends (I heard there will be only three seasons so correct me if I'm wrong). How the fuck will they escape from the island and when will the Camerons finally face the consequences for their actions? 🙃😬

Of course I'm not sick of you lovely! I love when you guys interact with me like this!

I get what you mean, I feel like the situation between Kie and her parents was handled poorly on both their parts, but I feel like Kie's faults were a bit (teeny) more excusable as she is a teen who thought her best friends had died and then had her parents tell her she couldn't hang out with her friends anymore. But overall, aside from her situation with her parents, Kie did annoy me in both seasons. I really hope in season three, there is more character development for her because she is a good character and has strong morals, but I just feel like she's a bit lost in herself. Which is a big reason I don't like her and JJ together. I just feel like they both have such strong personalities and they would only draw out the worst in each other. I also picked up on the things you pointed out about Kie acting annoyed with JJ and that's another reason I feel like they wouldn't be a good match romantically - more like a brother/sister kinda match would be better I feel. For next season, I would love for Kie to find another person outside of the main circle as well, I feel like that would not only be good for her character development, but it would be interesting for the plot since she is usually the person who doesn't like new people joining the group. And I know I said this before, but it would be great if she was LGBTQ+ because I feel like the writers could incorporate her past behaviours and such into the internalized anger she felt towards herself for being part of the LGBTQ+ because I feel like that is something many people in the community still battle internally about even if they are accepting and I know that a lot of bi people still deal with those feelings (spoken from experience).

My take on the Pope/Kie thing was that Kie knew she didn't like Pope that way. And even if, for a second, she thought she might like him that way, when he stopped her before they had sex expressing how he didn't want to do it if there was a possibility that it would mess up their friendship - she should have respected that and maybe they could have felt the relationship out a bit more before going all in. Especially because it was Pope's first time. I love Kie, I really do, I know it doesn't seem like it from this post, but I feel like the writers aren't doing her character justice. Just like Greys Anatomy destroyed Izzie's character.

Also, don't worry, I binged the entirety of season 2 in one day. Nonstop. I laid in bed for ~10 hours just watching the show because I worked 8 hours the next day and I knew I was gonna be too tired when I got home to watch it and I needed to finish it for my sanity. When I first started watching, I knew JJ was gonna be someone I fell in love with because he is the type I usually fall for, so I tried really hard to fight against it, but I am a white man's whore so I ended up losing. But Pope is my baby, I want to protect him and just save him from everything so it's not just JJ who I am in love with from the show. IF YOU START WRITING FOR JJ PLEASE SEND ME THE FICS I WOULD LOVE TO SUPPORT YOU! I ALSO HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING FICS BECAUSE THEY NEVER COME ACROSS MY DASH SO!

BUT 100%, START WRITING FOR JJ, THERE IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH OBX CONTENT ANYMORE! YOU WOULD BE AWESOME, TRUST ME, YOU HAVE A REALLY GOOD SENSE ABOUT THE CHARACTERS FOR JUST WATCHING THE ENTIRE SERIES IN TWO DAYS! IF YOU NEED ANY HELP REACH OUT!

And JJ def gives off more chaotic Steve vibes. Loyal, a little dumb sometimes, his heart in the right place, crappy parents, etc. It's pretty much a dead match. Even in between last season and this season, JJ had a lot of character development. He seemed more calm this season, he wasn't getting in fights every episodes. But, I agree, both characters def need more character development and to be beat up less.

I haven't heard anything about them being signed on for more seasons yet, so I'm not sure how many seasons there are going to be. But saying as though it's still in the top 10 and lot of people are streaming it, I feel hopeful that Netflix isn't gonna just cancel it like they love to do. I have a feeling that they might sign on for more than three seasons if the actors are willing (hopefully) since it is such a popular show.

I think they will probably pick up next season with a search being conducted, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Pope will figure a way to get them off or lure help to them. Maybe the coast guard will stumble upon them or Pope will do some cool shit to send a distress signal to them. But since this show is really realistic when it comes to the privileges that rich, powerful, white men hold, I have a sneaking suspicion that Rafe and Ward won't face the consequences for their actions, especially not if Rose continues to help them.

But, please, oh please, start writing for JJ and send me your fics, I would love to read them and support you! I started this blog and writing my fics just because I wanted to try my hand at them, but I also didn't want them cluttering up from drive. I just had so many ideas swirling around my head and I needed a place to put them. I have not regretted the decision to start this blog. It's been the best year. I found so many great people who are supportive, I found followers who are supportive and put up with my randomness and my rants about my life and family. If you need any help getting started, never hesitate to reach out. I would be glad to help you even if you just need a hype man.

[shytiff]

Small Nov Wins

1 - cant bring myself to study, got out of bed 10:30-ish am. While lazing around i read royal servant and do random internet stuff and watched romee's vlogs. Ate breakfast and i somehow has no appetite?? This is rare. e, cicil kompre began at 15:30 pm (i know, i waste my time a lot). Pengumuman wahana mpi wow yay kalideres makara and budi asih

2 - the weather was pleasantly cloudy. poli anestesi anak, simul. went to what used to be calais, its called flavola now. at this point i quite need some calories because i only ate bubur ayam and its like 2-3 pm ish. Eventually the hunger is gone, arrived home at about 4-ish, drank protein to curb my hunger (nanggung dinner). dad said sumn that annoyed me so after maghrib i just lazed in bed, not feeling like doing anything (even though there’s lots of exams and hw lmao), fell asleep

3 - woke up at 2 am, prated, randomly searched for angel - chancellor and taeyeon’s lyrics and i basically wept at 4 am. i assumed the song was just like,,, a guy talking to a girl, his angel, you know. EXCEPT,,,,,,,,. the 2 MVs was also rly222 beautiful 🥺. Poli geriatri today, didnt even see patient because there was no more at that time (status salin nadia). ate ichiban salad (surprisingly quite good) at dm bcs i rly do be functioning better outdoors, made matcha latte with full cream milk ((powder)), cicil PT

4 - can finally wake up late. finished 1 sitasi pt, made ikk ppt, bujing lina called about diarrhea and nausea meds, laddered the leader for tomorrow’s exam and it,, was,,, me,, group call with shiko. frantically studied for EA

5 - PT (finished in 45 mins), simul as a leader, with STEMI, VF and hypoglycemia case. somehow made it through. i suck at dosages omggg. PP by car with mom (not rly that tired) but i SLEPT after i got home and had no mood to study helpppp

6 - did my first swab test today. i pushed the doctors hand when she’s doing oropharyngeal swab im sorryyyy 😂. slept. matcha. cicil kompre

7 - still havent finished ikk (deadline: today), and still havent studied for geri and ikk AND i still managed to take a nap. why. Read a bit of kompre. Not sleepy after matcha, but insted i reread bj alex and tsubaki chou lonely planet until 2 am the next day #rippriorities

8 - im having matcha latte seven days in a row as of today :))))) woke up at 10:30 am, went to flavola with atikah and got strawberry yakult (tasted like es mony), arrived home at abt 7-ish am and there no dinner, so i drank protein and ate japota honey butter. My breakfast was chicken porridge, so my diet is sooo liquid today. Rip proper nutrition (ate buryam, lumpia, japota for the whole day and drank 3 beverage). Cicil kompre and studied geri

9 - suma geri, slept, cicil kompre, ny head kind of hurts

10 - my head still hurts, suma ikk with dr herqu and dr retno, didnt take swab result by car because the TRAFFIC in soetta so my brother took it. Thankfully negative.

11 - lulus kompre alhamdulillah, the examiner were Prof Saptawati and dr. Dani from THT. Dr dani still remembered me :"") they were very kind. Went to tamel for first wahana: klinik makara UI. Picked up masker first at mahmudas place, and then went to depok. On the way i was interviewed by maba 2020 wtf im so old. Cleaned up my room with the fam, printed sumn in barel (its quite empty there)

12 - first day at klinik makara ui. i WALKED. such wow. fixed my shoes in kutek. had breakfast in barel and bahari for lunch-dinner. somehow i felt very drained. bought Dapur Alya (nutella and regal) and 2 salads from Salad Point since there was 11.11 promo. Put all of them in the fridge. Read Fools and its sooo good omg

13 - had salad and left over bahari rice for brekkie. went to clinic by grabbike :)))), had my first teleconsultation experience today, a chemical trauma case. suma ea with the help of shiko

14 - woke up at 5:20 ish and i jogged a bit at ui lmaoo. fisip - ft - fisip. By 6:30 im already back at my room. 1 hour can be spent a lot of different ways, it turns out. Washed my clothes. Ate monstercheese pizza. Slept a bit. Went to blok m with ara (she was late as always, surprised her with koi milk tea), ate futago ya (greasy cheesy milky goodness, enak tapi eneg afterwards), bought red bean bread at la mouette, bought discounted onigiri bento box at papaya. We went to m bloc space, looked around, ate gelato at kebunide (blueberry: yum, fresh, kiiinda feels artificial, salted caramel: delicious but makes me thirsty) and did photobox at connectoon. Walked to mrt asean but turns out!! for weekends mrt is closed at 8pm. Took grabbike to sudirman, seeing the pretty city and people just hanging out, playing skateboards on the wide sidewalks.

15 - planned to go jogging with salemba frens but i woke up late (06:45), so i just lazed around. Ate onigiri bento (super worth it for 25k for the proteins), fell asleep again 10ish to 14:30 lmaoo. The doms from yesterday was present even on the right side of my lower back 🙂 the red bean bread made me feel full, and the red bean was not too sweet, which i love. Reviewed some meshwork materials i missed. Fianti called and we talked abt her and hari

16 - had mujigae for sahur and fish bite for iftar. The fish was not as soft as fish streat, but the flour was definitely better and crunchy. But it doesnt have the seasoning micin like fish streat do. The pasta was quite a lot im in food coma afterwards. Fell asleep, and my stomach was so gassy that i woke up in the middle with a headache that does not play around. Fortunately it dissapeared in the morning

17 - breakfast is rice kimchi and abon lmaoo just pretend it makes sense. The scrubs i ordered finally arrived. I fell asleep AGAIN, WHYYYY. Lost my streak in DL, i guess i can stop using it for now.

18 - finished reading blood link, girlll i thought the human died at the end. Did not buy food today wow. Took a nap and cicil kompre.

19 - brekkie at barel. Helped measuring antropometry today at clinic, and also measured my own. The fucked up thing was that i THOUGHT my body fat is still at 28% compared to the past (dr rina's research). So i looked at the old paper AND. I USED TO HAVE. 35% FAT 🙂 even my memories are in denial and are fooling me. All this time i thought i was at 28 🙂 did swab at rsui. The one swabbing was from fkui 2012 and we had small talk. It hurted more than lmk :( now this does feel like drowning in water (cause before i said "nah its not like water in nose"). Took angkot back to tamel, bought piscok lumer pocin and its soooo gooood ugh

20 - i feel like if i have breakfast with leftover rice and abon and sozzis i get hungry faster lmaoo. Ordered ken karaage from kukusan, yaa okela for 25k with ongkir. Did online posbindu education through wa. BTS BE COMEBACK 🥺 i maximized my wifi time (no wifi at tamel) so i listened to the whole album. My mobile data is at 200MB lol. Read a good longreads from the atlantic, about down synd and genetic screening. The writing is so so good im just blown away. And teary eyed.

21 - ran a bit, solid class (gastro, rheum, infection), embryo, webinar about sleep by dr Gita Anindyajati, SpKJ, bought ayam geprek gold chick (lotsss of oil since i ordered tempe, jamur, egg, bought pop cookies. matcha cheese was actually better than i expected (the combination somehow fits), dark chocolate and marshmallow is very chocolatey like mom’s brownies, and vegan strawberry cookie with a hint of mint. i wonder how they replace the egg. I wonder why after i run i dont feel hungry for a moment. bloating just gooes away

22 - joined kris' healthy weekly event (lmao) in tamsur. They went to epiwalk first. Its difficult for me to run w mask, ngl. Went back to tamel, embryo, ate leftover meal from gold and chick, felt somehow drained to the bone so i just laid in bed and lazed and lazed. Theres no soreness, but the weakness was generalized lmao. Ordered bbq chicken almond salad from salad point, it was actually quite fulfilling and delishhh (added chili sauce to the dressing). Literally laid in bed from 7 until i fell asleep and woke up at 6 the next day. Finished readin shame application lmao

23 - i still feel tired ckckck. No doms, but i feel like i just want to lay down. got DV patient today at clinic, its most likely derm numularis??? Ate salad and dark choco marshmallow cookies in the evening and that cookie. Is so damn sweet im just thinking about the increase in my blood sugar. And i like sweets so!!! Never thought id find sumn too sweet. Washed my clothes and cicil ukmppd (i put things about studying ukmppd in habitica now)

24 - ate tanoshi sushi and ufo ramen for bfast, ate the sushi again for lunch and after waking up from my sleep i tried kokku ramen (so so, but the egg yolk's good)

25 - bfast: superbubur, protein shake and cookies. (did not make me feel full long enough). Ordered burger from EATG (so so, burger bener is better) for lunch. Last day at makara ui. Ara arrived coz shes staying here in tamel. Waiting for mom to arrive from cibubur, she arrived at about 20:30. I passed out at home

26 - first day in pkm kalideres, i volunteered to be pj to avoid RSUD. my room is a mess, i feel tired after i go back. maybe its the physical withdrawal (?) because i dont walk like when im on klinik makara. came to pkm thinking i wont do anything (orientation only) but the 6 of us ended up going. i was at igd. i saw nail extraction and injected ats for another patient 

27 - talked for almost an hour with the doctor at poli lansia. went home, felt sooo tired, i slept and actually showered after maghrib. originally planned to go to sbux but i was just tired af. my mood was horrible at home. 

28 - turns out i started my period today. i havent studied at all during pkm kalideres era. embryo. slept again. read some manga by nishin something with the psychological and BL genre. 

29 - embryo. cut my hair, showered, and felt better. fell asleep on dr gita's lecture. Drank cimory banana milk with a bit of matcha powder. I dont know if its the sleep, or a bit of caffeine, but my mood feels better and im more awake. Cicil ukmppd with a slow pace. Read itasaku ff. Slept at about 2 am

30 - surprisingly, i dont feel sleepy when i wake up. poli anak today, surprisingly i got perinatology case (jaundice). presented it on pleno. for bfast i ate 3 slice of bread (2 with meat and cheese, 1 choco and cheese) and protein shake, lunch: a slice of choco cheese bread and a banana, fell asleep, dinner: 1 bakwan, a banana and nextar. i can feel that the calories i got today is even less than what i usually got (and usually i already try to limit calories that i am counting the intake amout and made sure im not too far from my bmr lmaoo (~1100)

[ubelyptus]

soooooooooooo bb,,,...,.,,,strawberrry.

......I JUST FIND IT

  interestinggggggggg

how you Big mad cuz MY block game seeems 

skrong or summn

hanh???

oh.

well.

i never blockedt you 

on snapchat 

or whatsapp (you weren’t even muted),

yup, i still haven’t

but i didn’t have a properly working phone...

still......don’t

but either way you keep threatening to split on me 

like a weapon…fcking

manipulative as shit

it just seems to me that you just want to?

you never imprinted tho 

but she did 

so why should you?

i won’t ever, again, fight....

….with you.

my favorite accomplice

i wanted to learn with an open mind 

even after my phone died 

how to remain soft with you.  

even after being callled 

“old news" 

pffft

at least until

 i ‘m  eventually murdered by a cisgender man...

but

don’t fckn

pppppppop shit 

cuz like….. literally…..all i did was change my url.

shit, i Only blockedt you AFTER i saw you referencing gaslighting.

bc uhmm IIIIIIif that is about meeeeeeeeeeee 

ha!!!

 how fucking dare you.…..lyk....wuhh?

like when you said there is no difference between syn and alesia?????

HANH?

oh, but you think i blockedt you first bc i didn’t wanna get my feelings hurt?

….mhhhhhhh. ok.

seeems odd since you’re not liar 

right, eli????

but,,,,,so what’s this about the cozi password change? am i just shifting too rapidly between your and my reality???

bet.

no, i blocked you on things after THAT 

AND THAT WAS TODAY

oh, and didn’t your friend, my so-called “fighting buddy,” anan…

.just,,,,,fckn block me like i’m useless

trash

randomnly 

after all

i asked 

was that they 

not speak to me 

about you?

but YAAAAAAS  twas ONLY Me and simply Myself and just i 

who ain’t wanna get….hurt.

hanh?????

oh ,

obvi,

yeaaaaaaa

yeeeei

truuuu,

sooooo 

sssssorry,,,,but

calling me “old news” or saying i’m “old too” 

don’t forget your girl is 2 yrs older than you 

and then staying silent for these few days about changing passwords

that..... already did that, boo

at least i sent alesia third party emails thru the app, boo

she pushin 30 and can only talk you 

venuse....????. no....a 

talking and 

w a l k i ng tragedy

entyway don’t bring that up just to be loud and wrong about that too

you’re not always wrong tho, you know

you’d probably fuck up and slit my throat 

 powertripping

when i’m wrong about you

and you can only do that if you

 black and white 

me out 

to NEVER BE WRONG 

AND I DO 

ACTUALLLY HATE THAT ABOUT YOU!!!!! 

WHY CAN’T I EVER BE WRONG, ELI???? 

WHY????//

OH your emotions....? about your father that after 6 yrs you didn’t tell me about?

your reality? when you have a habit of projecting?

 and lowkey being dishonest 

to yourself first

 and then subsequently

 to me????

your time? when i’m mostly on yours?????

your efforts? like ripping up notes and telling me 

“my turn” to get fucked 

by you 

was over

when the only reason i was tiredt

was bc i crashed

too tiredt after explaining to You

that

  i‘m not even going to LET you play middleman

for a baby pushign 30????

oh. bet.

but since we’re being transparent:

here are receipts with timestamps:

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-hop-hop

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop+hop+bun

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-bunny

yea you must love dirty laundry

oh.

but that’s what i knew about you.

oh:

be yr own guest my love

i Knew you would ignore the “old news” message since that's literally when you started telling on yourself 

you do treat trans partners

 like side hoes, 

thasssa wholeBET 

and some change

 for you to create

cuz thassssssss 

how you feel about me fr fr

so that “like” is mine but

  i…..actually really Really love that you laughed tho.

bc i haven’t heard you fully belly laugh in a long time.

if ever iirh.

even after knowing you for 6+ years, 

your supposed “first friend “ in the DMV

the person i can trust my life with

the only

you’re my only...

 ,,,,,even after i spiraled 

and cut myself for the first time since middle school?

now my friends are fucking spotting you 

and talking to each other 

about you

oh, you didn’t know. 

but i got mehndi done today 

let a summer baby boy

love 

a cut up 

by me

body

 before noon

today 

thinking i’d see you and we could talk like,,,,

…..like real people do.

and you’d be distracted by the design and not zone in

 on the failed cuts

 on my wrist 

since i’m shit at not just repeatedly carving into 

white meat

 when i can only use a ceramic blade

i just didn’t WANT you to 

so i never “came home to [you]”

you said that on nov 4th/5th of last year

and

i’ve been looking up bpd all day

eventho i told you

  i don’t trust the internet 

sooooo you not telling me 

didn’t hel p

but it’snot at all your job to 

and i sitll

stilllstil stil stilllca’t see

....and i dind’t want you to see.

bc i’m not just a man.

i’m still femme

which you seem to love to forget

and still soft enough, i think.....

i hope…..or learning to be soft,,,,

where it won’t get me killed,,,,,

but where it still counts.

with…or without you.

either way i’m a man who loves you. a man whose phone died at 28% trying to get you to see that i was trying to be soft even after you called me

 “old news”

but,,,,,.....,,,compared to …..who?????? sh....oooo??????

your new girlfriend who is 1 or 2 years older than you?????

and can’t speak to me 

a man who is only barely out of 23???

and instead only whispers

 to you?????

bruh, she’s clearly not fond of me. 

and you’re not a liar , 

so don’t 

she had to tell you that she wasn’t the one putting out “aggy energy”

specifically

during yennayer which

i ruined

and im still sorru

but which means

she’s probably done it in your apartment on purpose already, boo

didn’t think of that, did you

lingustically.,,,,,nope.

oh, but there’s power in a whisper, darling.

i am just cardinal like you

i am air too.

  i should know 

bc i accidentally whistled....and,,,,,,

i only blockedt you so that you wouldn’t “hurt [your] own feelings”

 like you told anan you sometimes do.

sooooooooooooo yea... i

did it so you wouldn’t hurt you. 

as cardinal water/pisces moons 

are prone to do.

you can;t drain

and you can’t drown

 ain’t that how i affirmed you

i already hurt me 

when i dissociated 

and i’m STILL FUCKING sorry 

that there was blood that you had to see. 

i couldn’t stay in my body long enough to clean fast enough

but i still didn’t want you to hurt you bc of me.

like you did repeatedly

bc of bpd or bc of basically cishet or at least cis ~queer girls

or other partners 

like when you were with kat,

who’s still disgustingly attached to a messy white

and now a new black kid.....

or with shushoo.

and how you might with alesia.

no, correction: how you have with alesia. 

how you will continue to, if you’re not careful, with alesia.

you’re a lion facing a prince of a house kitten ,....,

.,, who is homeless.

do you feel good, big boss?

all i asked was for you to listen t

o how you were speaking to me 

on the phone 

at your place of work 

and when she’s there

possibly a place of worshiop

..... even after i told you 

that i was intentionally putting energy into Not fighting you

and you

  say you

"don’t wanna be a middle person" 

but you also….wanna cape for yet another fucking cis girl.

who isn’t even muslim this time. 

HOWtragic.

i couldn’t laugh

couldn’t ever laugh at sway

bc by whatever fortune if you do split or don’t 

 i still  love you

i love you too much

but in those moments after that phone call….

after my phone died…

and my body couldn’t move to charge it.

wouldn’t move….

and all i could do was cry during the adhan.

bc you’re tooo much like matt now

i wish i knew what it could feel like to

 hate someone 

who called you 

"OLD NEWS” 

compared to a bitch pushing 30 

youza WHOLE fuckn clown, dawg.

matt did this same shit

move me out for a new side bitch

yet anotehr cis

look at how cute trans love can be

oh

no

NO

no,

no

no

this is what you give me:

laughter.

BC what fucking luck.

BUT IT’S gotta be TROOF

  s ince you don’t lie?/?

shit I LAUGHED TOO:

it sounds like….

NEITHER OF US

KNEW WHAT COULD

HAVE BROUGHT US

HERE, ELI.

maybe you nursing poison in your own home

and telling me i’m making you feel unwelcomed

on a blog and not to my face did it

fuckingggggggggg. why’ald.

you think it’s too much sweat????? false. 

that apartment stayed cold.

too many tears?

 ok ok yea troof.

but too much love? forreal?

we?????

ooooop

hoooop!!!

oh, you speakin’ french now. our collective colonizers tongue in 20gayteeeeeeeen?????

CAN’T RELATE 

bc I’M TOOOOOO GAY

wow. we ruined it, fam???? fr fr?

nah, chosen fam.

you ruined us.

you ruined us over:

 a cis girl and

your own impatience

and your own anger.

and my slow brain and my slow body

//

i’m not sure she’d find you from maryland

if you dissociated bc your other semi

 but not 

girlfriend emotionally abused you

until people who didn’t know you were muslim

thought you were fucking drunk

and you fucking stilllllll 

work with her?????

why couldn’t you just wait until she found a new job???

ain’t she trying????

or izzzzzz she??????

hahhnh???

where was the damn rush?????

you’re like two goofy high schoool kids 

reaching for the quickest nuts every 6 hours

 like jesus fuck.

you’re irresponsible as shit telling me i’m a grown man making grown decisions and i see this 

?????

unREASONABLE, ELI.

this isn’t a situation of a kettle calling a pot black

 babe

bc i’m actually Black

and you’re not

but she’s black too.

what did i tell you:

"you datin’ two whole Niggas. if you fight me over her, you will lose either way.”

but instead you called me “obtuse”

SAT words for me

 but not for you…….what.,,,.,,,,,,,, fckn luck……..

what luck,,,,,that the one person who housed me consistently

and kept me alive

when i trusted no one

would call me "old news”

and let their cis girlfriend

 turn herself into your

personal "healing” …...

sibkid. \\\\

howTragic like all of CC’18

you know what happens when you slip and get sloppy and let a baby bitch be responsible for your healing?

she leaves. 

for a real bitch 

with microhealing abilities, 

GOOFY.

she worships a new goddess every friday?????

well, i know only of orixas 

and only of black power

 but from what i know of goddesses OFF of OUR continent…

soooon...

at least one of them WILL want a soul from her

just letting you know it might not have to be hers.

…..OH!

and when i chargedt and openedt my phone after days of wandering. ….the last messages from you are:

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID “LEAVE [[[[MMMMMYYYYYYY]]]]]] KEYS”

like a fucking baby.

imagine that.

even to you, i’m still a whore.

out…the…bakc….dooor.

??????

i couldn’t even work a john when i wanted to

 if i was sad about you.

but imagine?????

  a cis-pixie woman older than you

letting you treat her like a child?????

then

imagine me feeling shamed into leaving

bc of pictures of your smiling face

after i cut myself and felt shame 

that

in your unwelcomed  to both me and you

BLOOD

 blood 

is what brings me back

 to life.

how.

fucking.

why’yald.

i blockedt you so that you didn’t lurk.

bc THat is what you do.

instead of speaking with me, 

you seem to have expected me

 to read your blog back 7 years.

and just know all of the fatherly things that trigger you.

like…even during the times when i was afraid of my own phone and laptop for 2 months bc of my sister, brother, and birth parents????

funny how i’m the youngest of us “grown folks” and yet still find that really 

FUCKING

immature.

of YOU

to do

you really never knew me, or did you…..??

you donated to me before you even knew me.

so i know your heart has parts made of gold.

but now you show off your crystals and your gold.~~~

yep.

here we are.

you’ve "only every seen [me] as a boy.”

ok. bet.

and unti this post:

i’ve hardly heard you refer to me as a man.

so:

ain’t you late?

ain’t you late, babe??

ain’t you late?

i’m a year younger than you.

which means if you grown

i musta BEEN a man too, boo.

but you’ll always be

 my favorite accomplice

 and always be my favorite friend too.

but you cannot think you can play me by calling me

 “old too” or “old news"

 for young fish who is basically femme trade

and thinking i won’t cut open a fool.

which coincidentally always happens to be me

she’s hardly out to anybody important and lying at work too.

i must be bigger fool.

bc you knew better and didn’t do better.

but i’m being immature.

  ok ...,.,,.,,

cute.

your pisces moon is keeping you from seeing clearly but that’s what young water seems…to do. to much light reflected; tho it is a fountain of youth.

she’s pushing 30 baby 

but true, you’re her boo.

yea, a childish boo.

you ever wonder why her playlist from you had more songs than ours did?

why she can never keep a man around for valentines day?

oh but don’t you love “patterns”, baby????

unless it’s her leaving shit around the apartment

or her triggering you

or her treating your dick like it’s foreign, 

even to you.

my gay ass was shookedt 

when you told me you voluntarily 

triggered yourself

 for her kitty too

but i AM 

a grown man

 who is “running” from….you

you think that statement is not…. dishonest??

you really think that statement is true???

—

i didn’t run. i just

needed space

and you afforded me none.

you couldn’’t afford it.

february is before march which is before april 

sooooooo it’s always a tight month ain’t it???????

oooooooh but you afforded her plenty.

she gets to take off her fucking pants while i try to figure out if i should move from a spot next to you….

on your fucking bed.

she took off her pants to climb near you before she could even say hi to 

nooonoo

ahh right

and THEN ME.

“Oh, you CAN stay”

that’s what She told me.

and you said nothing.

so i left….the room.

i never run.

you pushed me out with your captain save-a-cis silence.

it’s violence.

and

you’re still pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing 

until me…you know 

i, the "old news” 

just feels like he should just 

fucking fall 

onto the district streets

and she finds it

to her fucking fancy 

to fall

 into your lap

like a damn,,,,zel. 

distressedt.

with a roof over her head outside of your apartment too.

woooooooops!

yip, as she is probably prone to do.

her kind….isn’t new….boo.

her kind isn’t new to me

her kind isn’t new to you

you ever wonder why she feels so familiar to you?

she reminds Me of the girl who told you 

she could never marry you 

and is now trying to date someone just like you

so don’t be so unkind to me 

or to you 

or be so foolish

 as to believe i gave up on you

you gave up on me

and on top of that

you think i just...ran

ran….with what clothing?

the ones you packed up for me and left at the door 

that i was suppose to pick up 

and slide out the back….like a fucking whore?

you just tryna be

a cissie's bae

who stay clownin on trans folks now?

oooooooh issa bet, mo

. i mean.,,,.,,.mhhhh i guess?

—==—

but troooof, i don’t “need" anybody.

but i want you.

but you need her.

that’s how it work, don’t it?????

that’s why you risk job security every day.

and let her leave her panties on my clothes.

and let her tell me i "can stay" in …..A, not MY, spot next to you

in yo'bed?

what fucking fools. the two of you.

but “no one is forcing [me] to"

oh, baby you /are/ forcing me too

i look on your blog and then find out you’ve been feeling “unwelcome in [your] own home”

this whole fucking time

all the way since early november, innit?????

if i love you at all, 

what else am i to do?????????????

??????????????????????????/

know that you will self-destruct 

and just…wait for you to????????????????????

???????????????????????????????/

no

i didn’t run.

you just fucking pushed me.

and you’re still fucking pushing.

and you’ll keep pushing.

bc that is what you do.

embe…..@strawberreli 

se sá’m te konne nu’ou.

you like microblogging so much

so like it if you read this shit

[littledonkeyburrito]

It’s tequila and beer so I shouldn’t be surprised

1. Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I prefer trimmed. I don’t want to feel like I’m fucking a well-endowed 12 year old but I also don’t want to be yanking all his hair out when I’m giving a handjob. Tbh it’s not a strong preference though. He can do what he wants.

2. Do you prefer liquid, mousse or powder foundation? Why? Powder because it feels less gross. I don’t generally wear any makeup though

3. How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Mum knows a very small amount, but more than Dad knows. She knows I’ve dated two guys, at least.

4. Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? Not my scene

5. Do you worry about gaining weight? I don’t.

6. Have you ever used fake tan? No. In fact, I get a little weirded out when I have a real tan because my hands don’t look like my hands

7. How do you organize your make-up? There isn’t much. Doesn’t really need organising

8. Do you ever look at someone cute, and automatically make a move? No. Except maybe if I’m extremely drunk...

9. Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? Apartment

10. What’s one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in? I don’t know all of Barcelona’s festivities. Brisbane has the Ekka which is fun. Things I don’t like to participate in would probably be sporting events like marathons and such.

11. Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names? No.

12. Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you don’t like? A couple of Dad’s friends are slightly seedy but just in a regular old white dude way, not in a legit creepy way. They’re all fairly nice.

13. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? Yeah, Dad hates almost everything American.

14. What venue was the last real concert you went to at? Some showground in Madrid for a music festival.

15. Does your best friend and their mom have the same last name? Yes. Well, half. She has both parents’ last names.

16. What color is your cellphone? Black

17. Are you currently waiting for a phone call? From whom? Yes, I was supposed to get a call back from my health insurance company today. I’ll have to call them again tomorrow. At least I have a number to the english customer service line now.

18. Do you have any drugs in your bedroom? No

19. Is there a feature on your face that people compliment you on? Occasionally eyes I guess

20. What are your plans for the rest of the week? Figuring out how to get my luggage to weigh less than when I came to this country so I don’t have to pay extra baggage fees.

21. How many studded belts do you own? None.

22. Has your boyfriend/girlfriend ever had braces? Don’t have a partner.

23. What have you eaten today?

 Spicy rice soup, tabooleh, a mandarin, some chocolate

24. What’s your favorite thing to do? The thing that comes to mind is having dinner or drinks with my friends, possibly because I haven’t been able to do that for a year.

25. Did you wear a jacket today? Yes, I wore my coat when I went out

26. Have you kissed more than two people of the same sex? Yeah.

27. How many times have you had sex in one day? Twice 

28. Did you exercise at all today? Not on purpose

29. Would you ever move far away for a job opportunity? That’s the plan. Once I’m back in Australia I’m going to be applying for jobs in Spain and Central America in my field and if I get offered something with a liveable salary then I’ll move.

30. Are you too shy/embarrassed to tell people your middle name? No

31. If not, what is it? No bc internet

32. What day of the week is garbage day on your street? Three times every day.

33. What is something new you learned today? That my grocery store sells pigs ears, and that the drink “desperados” does not taste good (it’s tequila and beer so I shouldn’t be surprised)

34. Do you need a haircut? Yes

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? If I try

36. When was the last time you ate popcorn? It’s been a while. I finally learned that popcorn is not worth the dry cracked lips and the kernel shells stuck in my teeth and gums for all eternity

37. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Cheap restaurants. The more expensive they get, the less I enjoy the atmosphere.

38. Is your name common? In Australia it is, but not in Spain.

39. Do you look older or younger than your actual age? Younger. I got asked ID the other day for the first time in like 6 months. And also a cab driver thought I was 16.

40. Were you ever a Pokemon fan? Yes

41. If you could get rid of one season, which one would you choose? Six

42. Have you ever performed in front of a large group? Yes

43. Are you hungry right now? No, I’ve eaten so much today

44. Have you ever had the chicken pox? My brother got the chicken pox during the school holidays with the whole fever, mild hallucinations, etc. So mum went and got me the vaccine (the last needle I was ever scared of bc in the end it wasn’t so bad). Then I got the spots start to show up and school had just started again so I got 4 days off school. We later found out that because of the needle I wasn’t contagious at all. I never had a fever or illness at all, just the itchy spots. My brother was pissed. 44. How often do you do laundry? About once a week.

45. Do you know anyone who snores? Both my parents, the last guy I slept with, this one guy I was friends with in school. Nobody else immediately comes to mind. 46. Would you make a good movie critic? No, I’m too nice. 47. What goal are you aiming for this year? Pay off debt and start saving again so I get the fuck out of Brisbane again within a year or two. 48. What’s the farthest you’ve walked? In one day? I think about 25-30km 49. What does your favorite shirt look like? I think my current fave would be my dark red tshirt with little white birds on it. I also like my denim button-up and my netflix tshirt 50. What made you feel most accomplished in you’re life so far? Being able to earn enough money in a job that I love to be able to move to Europe for a year after learning a whole new language. 51. What can’t you afford but wish you could? I can’t afford to stay in Spain :(

Last 10 people in your Facebook messages inbox: (I’m excluding group chats)

1.       Joh

2.       Me (had to write a number while on the phone and didn’t have a pen)

3.       Kym

4.       Emily

5.       Bronwyn

6.       Dad

7.       Aman

8.       Pegler

9.       Leisa

10.     Brenda

1. How long have you known 1? 4 years

2. When did you meet 2? At birth

3. When was the last time you saw 3? Yesterday

4. Have you and 4 ever gotten into trouble together before? No

5. How old is 5? 47

6. Have you ever taken a shower at 6’s house? Many, because I grew up in that house

7. Have you ever taken a dump at 7’s house? Lol, no.

8. Have you ever thought about going out with 8? No

9. What about 9? She’s my auntie

10. Would you ever go out with 10 or ask 10 out? No, she’s my dad’s friend

11. What’s the best memory you have had with 1? Too many to choose just one

12. What’s 2′s lastname? yeah nah

13. Would you ever take a bullet for 3? Probs not, soz

14. What would you do if 4 died? I'd be sad

15. What would you do if you found out 5 killed someone that you were related to? That would be horrible since we’re related to the same people

16. Would you take care of 6 if they were sick? Yes

17. Would you kill 7 if it was the only way for your other friends to survive? Yeah... if it was the only way then I would

18. Has 8 ever cooked for you? We lived together for 3 years but I don’t think so..? Maybe we occasionally offered each other leftovers but we never specifically cooked for each other

19. How many times have you and 9 fought? Never in my memory

20. Have you and 10 ever cried together? No

21. Have you and 1 ever kissed? Lol yes every time we get drunk together

22. Do you ever dream of 2? Almost always

23. Is 3 a boy? No.

24. Does 4 have any kids? No

25. Do you want to marry 5? I do not want to marry my aunt 26. How did you meet 1? At an event we were both at and then we ran in the same circles 

27. What was your first impression of 2? I do not remember when I became self-aware 28. Would you ever date 3? No. She is my dad’s married friend with 3 kids 29. Are 4 and 5 friends? They have never met

30. Who is 6 going out with? Sharon, who he lives with 31. Is 7 a boy or girl? I feel weird calling him a “boy” because I used to sleep with him. He is a man. Aman, a man. A man called Aman. 32. What would you think if 8 became your stepbrother/sister? I don’t think either of his parents are a suitable match for my parents but he’d be a kickass brother 33. Is #9 a dork? No, not really

34. What is a random fact about #10? She’s Irish 35. Who does #1 have a crush on? Probably his boyfriend 36. Does #2 have any stalkers? No, I don’t 37. If #3 said they were in love with you, what would you say? It would be very inappropriate and I would say that it makes me uncomfortable.

38. Is #4 hott? I’m sure her husband thinks so. She is pretty though. 39. Who is #5 best friends with? idk 40. Does #6 have good fashion sense? Not especially, but if he tried to dress young he’d look worse. What he wears works for him. 41. Is #7 single? I think so. If he’s not then I’d wonder why he’s messaging me and saying he wants to meet up when I’m back. 42. Would #8 and #9 make a cute couple? God no

[lightandwinged]

So the more I read about The Last Jedi in terms of spoilers and leaks, the more I’m like 

(potential spoilers below cut)

The two big ones that have me side-eyeing the most are (a) the idea that Luke dies as a result of his Force juice running out while he’s projecting himself across the galaxy Because Of Reasons and (b) the idea that Kyle Ron kills Snoke by cutting him in half, and thus takes his place in the Great Circle of Life as leader of the First Order.

(b) is the one that has me more like “...really?” because... look, you built up Snoke to be The Big Bad, more Emperor Palpatine than Darth Vader. And I get if you’re trying to go all M. Night Shamalamadingdong on things and make us all go “wat a tweest!” as it’s revealed that Kyle Ron is the Actual Big Bad, but I’m just getting whiffs of Darth Maul here. Only less so because Darth Maul looked like a badass and Snoke looks like Palpatine’s used bubblegum. 

And like... I’m not asking for some extensive trilogy backstory about why Bubblegum McGee is in charge of the First Order and fucks around with Hux and Kyle Ron, but like... we saw a hologram in TFA and I doubt we’ll get more than a few scenes in TLJ because we have to spend time with everyone else (REMIND ME TO RANT IN A FEW SECONDS ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE HUNTING FOR LEAKS ON THE INTERNET BC IT IS RELATED) so like... ????

Like at least with Palpatine’s few scenes in RotJ, it felt like he deserved all the build-up he got. He spent the whole time pointing out to Luke that he literally orchestrated everything that was happening and gently poking and prodding him towards the Dark Side, a turn that was only averted by Vader stepping in and refusing to let his son go down the path he went down (HAVE I GIVEN MY ROTJ INTERPRETATION IN THE LAST HALF HOUR???). The only thing that really defeated him was the element of surprise: nobody expects the Ewok Inquisition, and bad guys never plan for Love To Win The Day. 

And look, I am fine with Kyle Ron dealing a killing blow to Snerk but... an evil person would expect their protege to be the one to deal the killing blow, especially as reports suggest that Crylo Rong doesn’t deal the killing blow to defend anyone or save anyone or because Love (sorry, R3yl0s) but to seize power for himself, which...

I don’t know. As a plot point potentially happening, it doesn’t sit right with me. I may change my mind when I actually see it happen, but I’m like... really? 

As far as (a) goes, I 100% figured that Luke would die in this film because it’s all about passing the torch to the next generation &c., but (1) I feel less okay with it now that Carrie’s gone, meaning that if Luke is also gone, there’s no torch passing next film except... idk, Chewie to porgs? R2 to BB8? Something? and (2) it feels like a cop-out for Luke’s character, WHICH MAKES SENSE CONSIDERING ALL MARK HAMILL HAS BEEN SAYING. 

Someone (probably on Reddit, but idek anymore) made the point that this trilogy reduced the OT mains to who they were at the very beginning of their trilogy, not to who they became... as if the writing completely ignored anything that came after about the midway point of A New Hope. I haven’t been one to jump on the “LUKE THEY DID YOU WRONG” bandwagon yet because we just didn’t know, but... seeing that his character arc was basically completely mirroring Yoda’s and Obi Wan’s is just weird. I haven’t read anything in Legends, but even in regular canon, it just doesn’t make sense that Luke’s response to baby Kyle Ron making a mess would be to say “welp, I’m a failure now” and pack up to live the rest of his days with hairless Ewok nuns and porgs. It just... his leadership that he developed in the OT and willingness to put aside even his personal feelings and connections for the people he loved; where did that go? 

And now, mind, this is all just the most persistent rumors from people who allegedly saw the film. There’s no confirmation yet and probably won’t be for another day or so. For all I know, either everyone’s wrong about these leaks OR they’re done in such a way that I’ll be like “why yes, I see what you were going for here, well done.”

But I was burnt bad by the prequels and my vibrating excitement for them back in 1999-2005. I’m going into this expecting something that will make me very angry and upset, and I’m hoping to be pleasantly surprised. MEANWHILE, ON THE HUNT FOR SPOILERS. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it. Hate it so much. The easiest venues for finding spoilers are this blue hellsite and Reddit, and both are AWFUL. On the blue hellsite, it’s literally just R////los crowing about how THEY ARE SUPER CANON U GAIZ and I’m like... can u not? I find the ship annoying for about 65 million reasons (can we pls pair Rey with nobody, Kyle Ron is actively the Worst, the fandom makes me bleed, if Rey must be paired with someone can it please be a woman or else Finn, HEY GUYS FINN FUCKING EXISTS, etc.), but it’s also like... the least of what I’m wondering going into this. I lived through the Great Harmonian Ship Wars of the early 2000s. I don’t want to pick through 6000 pages of straw-grasping to find a leak I actually care about.

Reddit at least posts leaks that are relevant overall, but they’re also The Actual Worst because most of the complaints about another persistent rumor (Rey’s parents were nobodies, which... seemed pretty well confirmed, if bothersome, but okay?) are things like “if girl not Skywalker, how girl use lightsaber?” and variants. And then there’s another rumor (that I actually like) of Leia using the Force to survive being tossed into space (by some accounts, flying like Superman, which I’m like... that’s fucking awesome) and the Reddit response also ignores the OT and is like “how Leia use Force if not established by her using lightsaber?” Like come on you troglodytes. Did you miss the end of ESB where she hears Luke calling her through the Force? Or where Luke says “my sister has it” (it being the Force)? Or where she’s pondering over her suddenly understood Force intuition at the end of RotJ?

Basically, they seem baffled that girls do things, and I can’t, y’all, I just can’t. 

And naturally, exactly NO leaks discuss Finn, Poe, or Rose. From looking over the visual dictionary and children’s books already released, they actually have a lot to do, but nope, we’re not going to talk about them because we’re racist they’re not as important, I guess?

Hrrrngh. 

I’m going to see this movie on Thursday night, for better or for worse, and God-willing, I’ll feel better afterwards. Right now, though, I really want to go find the beatable Kyle Ron action figure and take out some frustration.