#only now i realize the irony

[claire-starsword]

oh there's the proof I wanted. while you can easily access the enemy assets by unpacking the jar file, it does not include their palette swaps.

I guess that in order to do a thorough sprite rip i'll have to actually play the whole game and see all enemies. how tragic. having to replay one of the most important games of my life. a sacrifice i make for the greater good

[egophiliac]

should've just let Vil be the one to fly, it would've gone SO much easier. 😔

also HEY how are everyone else's pulls going, because I have had the most RIDICULOUS luck, seriously, halloween magic is 100% real

[dykedvonte]

RE: Your post on the AU of Jimmy being in the cockpit rather than Curly.

I think that Curly would think that Jimmy was reaping what he had sown, but in a way would feel a twisted sense of relief that Jimmy was brought down by his own actions rather than Curly himself having to be the "executioner" in the situation, so to speak.

With "taking responsibility" and the fix-it mentality that he and Jimmy share being the overarching theme, compounded with Jimmy flat out insinuating that all of his crimes on the Tulpar will be "Curly's tragedy" in that one scene, I think Curly would almost find comfort in the irony that the choice was forcibly taken away from him. Which in itself is messed up, but it might be a bit cathartic. There's an interesting polarizing dynamic within Curly's relationship to his own responsibility in that it's his greatest burden and the thing he, too, avoids the most.

I don't think Curly would find any relief in this actually. While Curly didn't/doesn't like the responsibility he had, he defiantly doesn't avoid it, he just goes about it in a weird way.

A thing I noticed is that its less about taking responsibility with Curly and really what that responsibility meant objectively and then subjectively to Curly. The leniency that he applies to Jimmy also applies a bit to the others as well. He thinks his responsibility is more towards keeping the peace and things in order more than dolling out punishment. He has even more choices to make and responsibilities as he literally has to make sure they survive/ration long enough to be saved. Or figure out how to save them himself. The correct issue with Curly and responsibility is the prioritization in his head. He sees the big picture and prioritizes that. He doesn't notice the little things that he should but it's not a active dismissal, perhaps not even conscious despite how dismissive he seemed. He takes too much responsibility, espcially in regards to Jimmy, and I think this situation is when he realizes that is also a bad thing as he can't "fix" all of his wrongs.

I think he'd regret not making a choice, because in the end this happened because he wouldn't directly choose who to comfort and help. He tried to help both and ended up doing nothing for either and letting Jimmy fuck them all over. In this scenario/au he's thinking about all the times he let Jimmy inadvertently make his choice, and how he chose to let it happen. He regrets all of it and would be so bitter that he was giving his choice up for so long. He chose wrong and it affected everyone. The only thing he'd find cathartic is the fucked up truth it will never happen again, not with Jimmy at least.

But he's not happy he's getting joy from that. I think it's a point not a single character other than Jimmy is depicted at deriving joy from another's pain. Even Swansea is being more sarcastic when he cheers on Curly about crashing the ship and ending his sobriety. He's happy Jimmy was forced to take responsibility, but this? He wanted him to learn a lesson and do something with himself, this is hollow in a way it's just embittering. Jimmy didn't get what he wanted, he can be happy about that but no one else did. This isn't justice or closure for Anya, he's stuck in a place he was so desperate to leave with even more pressure on his shoulders. Daisuke is just a kid and Swansea doesn't deserve this after all his year making himself a better man.

Like in his sections, Curly is preoccupied thinking about all the responsibilities he has, taking on things he shouldn't have to and trying to keep the peace when he doesn't have peace in his own mind.

[hanafubukki]

Thinking about how for all that he is worshipped, Malleus is invisible.

No one sees him.

Always seen on the surface level but never deeply.

Always talked about but never talked to.

Always alone.

Lilia has once said he didn't want Malleus to become the hero of a fairy tale.

But that's exactly what he has become, the hero of his people.

The figure head.

In this way, he's not so different from the Knight of Dawn is he?

Only known by name and title, but not the person.

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time

[swordmaid]

shri'iia's backstory is def loosely inspired by rapunzel (not disney tangled) where her mother stole a plant then she gets punished, and shri'iia ends up in a tower except that her mother willingly stole that plant and risked everything so she can escape that dog eat dog environment and shri'iia willingly pledges her oath to a powerful old woman to be in that dog eat dog environment.

i imagine shri'iia's mother was a daughter of some noble house but more on the merchant side of the city, and the house itself was not too powerful but they def had land and probably specialized in selling alchemical ingredients/medicinal herbs, etc. i also don't believe in that idea that everyone in the spider city was plotting against each other and there are those who disagreed with lolth's will and silently rebelled, and her mother was def one of them. her mother orchestrating this whole plot where she gets caught stealing from her own house then gets punished by hacking off her hand and disowning her. now that she doesn't belong to any house, she ends up living in braeryn with her partner who was one of their house slaves and she raises shri'iia in the slums. even though she sacrificed her entire life, she ends up being free in some ways bc she's not playing the noble's games anymore. she's out of the chessboard bc she's essentially nothing to them, and now she can live a life with her husband where they can be more or less free...!!

but shri'iia doesn't understand that perspective ofc. to her she will never understand why her own mother decided to ruin her life and essentially turned away from the spider queen's will like that itself is a betrayal. so a part of her will always resent that about her mother, and the fact that she has no house name - no place to belong, no place in their world. so! when she starts to feel the presence of her goddess in her trance telling her that she will be giving her a set of trials and she'll need to succeed them to earn her love she's like omg yes queen

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[4ce-of-2pades-inkwell]

@mintythecup

I hope your break from tumblr is doing you good. We await your return, but don't feel rushed. Savor that tiny-umbrella-drink.

[non-un-topo]

The irony of trying to start a "pain journal" but being too fatigued and having too much brain fog from said pain to start one

[jvzebel-x]

"The impulse toward chaos was one he knew. It ran hand in hand with the desire for violence to be done to him. To destroy him because he was not worth saving."

x. "The Vanished Queen", Lisbeth Campbell

[talkorsomething]

Since weavechat is gonna let you change images for existing buttons now... i wonder how well the arasaac symbols will translate at my current grid size?

Ever since i made the font size larger a lot of words are cut off, but figuring out how to set up a smaller grid size the way i like it is really hard. And i prefer text-only buttons, but like... being able to read what it even is is also important. (I keep hitting "because" thinking it's "be", for example.)

Also, i just like arasaac's symbol set in general. The stick figures are aesthetically pleasing in a way; idk how else to explain it.

Weavechat's default library is fine, but for me personally (can only access it on my phone) they tend to be hard to parse + add a lot of visual clutter.

So we'll see!

[lith-myathar]

.

[tintysun]

Just taking a moment, before too long, to wish a Merry Christmas. Whether you're on a tropical island, like me, or in a big city, as usual, it's fine. It is still Christmas. And there's much to share and enjoy in either scenario.

Also, the right people will get you and what you're all about. Would still require communication and coming to agreements, but there's nothing to worry about if they have your best interests at heart and are mature enough to treat people fairly and well. (I'd personally smack them on the head if they get too stubborn.)

You take this time to recover from the long year and, once you can get going again, start preparing for (and manifesting) the next. Sort out all you can, and leave the rest to Santa Claus. 😋🎄

[khywae]

Khy I don’t know if you still keep up with HSR but this most recent update with Boothill has me so violently ill, ohhh my goddd.

My dearrr I had to basically stop playing all games last month because I had no spare time, and I didn’t want to rush the story 😢 I saw some snippets of what happened, but I’ll play it in full during the holidays. Can’t wait to see our dear cowboy again~

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

[rubys-domain]

finally got kazuha in the alt. i forgot it was july already so the stardust shop reset. probably wouldn't have made it otherwise. he came home at exactly 75 pity