#only now i realize the irony

[claire-starsword]

oh there's the proof I wanted. while you can easily access the enemy assets by unpacking the jar file, it does not include their palette swaps.

I guess that in order to do a thorough sprite rip i'll have to actually play the whole game and see all enemies. how tragic. having to replay one of the most important games of my life. a sacrifice i make for the greater good

[egophiliac]

should've just let Vil be the one to fly, it would've gone SO much easier. 😔

also HEY how are everyone else's pulls going, because I have had the most RIDICULOUS luck, seriously, halloween magic is 100% real

[dykedvonte]

RE: Your post on the AU of Jimmy being in the cockpit rather than Curly.

I think that Curly would think that Jimmy was reaping what he had sown, but in a way would feel a twisted sense of relief that Jimmy was brought down by his own actions rather than Curly himself having to be the "executioner" in the situation, so to speak.

With "taking responsibility" and the fix-it mentality that he and Jimmy share being the overarching theme, compounded with Jimmy flat out insinuating that all of his crimes on the Tulpar will be "Curly's tragedy" in that one scene, I think Curly would almost find comfort in the irony that the choice was forcibly taken away from him. Which in itself is messed up, but it might be a bit cathartic. There's an interesting polarizing dynamic within Curly's relationship to his own responsibility in that it's his greatest burden and the thing he, too, avoids the most.

I don't think Curly would find any relief in this actually. While Curly didn't/doesn't like the responsibility he had, he defiantly doesn't avoid it, he just goes about it in a weird way.

A thing I noticed is that its less about taking responsibility with Curly and really what that responsibility meant objectively and then subjectively to Curly. The leniency that he applies to Jimmy also applies a bit to the others as well. He thinks his responsibility is more towards keeping the peace and things in order more than dolling out punishment. He has even more choices to make and responsibilities as he literally has to make sure they survive/ration long enough to be saved. Or figure out how to save them himself. The correct issue with Curly and responsibility is the prioritization in his head. He sees the big picture and prioritizes that. He doesn't notice the little things that he should but it's not a active dismissal, perhaps not even conscious despite how dismissive he seemed. He takes too much responsibility, espcially in regards to Jimmy, and I think this situation is when he realizes that is also a bad thing as he can't "fix" all of his wrongs.

I think he'd regret not making a choice, because in the end this happened because he wouldn't directly choose who to comfort and help. He tried to help both and ended up doing nothing for either and letting Jimmy fuck them all over. In this scenario/au he's thinking about all the times he let Jimmy inadvertently make his choice, and how he chose to let it happen. He regrets all of it and would be so bitter that he was giving his choice up for so long. He chose wrong and it affected everyone. The only thing he'd find cathartic is the fucked up truth it will never happen again, not with Jimmy at least.

But he's not happy he's getting joy from that. I think it's a point not a single character other than Jimmy is depicted at deriving joy from another's pain. Even Swansea is being more sarcastic when he cheers on Curly about crashing the ship and ending his sobriety. He's happy Jimmy was forced to take responsibility, but this? He wanted him to learn a lesson and do something with himself, this is hollow in a way it's just embittering. Jimmy didn't get what he wanted, he can be happy about that but no one else did. This isn't justice or closure for Anya, he's stuck in a place he was so desperate to leave with even more pressure on his shoulders. Daisuke is just a kid and Swansea doesn't deserve this after all his year making himself a better man.

Like in his sections, Curly is preoccupied thinking about all the responsibilities he has, taking on things he shouldn't have to and trying to keep the peace when he doesn't have peace in his own mind.

[hanafubukki]

Thinking about how for all that he is worshipped, Malleus is invisible.

No one sees him.

Always seen on the surface level but never deeply.

Always talked about but never talked to.

Always alone.

Lilia has once said he didn't want Malleus to become the hero of a fairy tale.

But that's exactly what he has become, the hero of his people.

The figure head.

In this way, he's not so different from the Knight of Dawn is he?

Only known by name and title, but not the person.

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time

[swordmaid]

shri'iia's backstory is def loosely inspired by rapunzel (not disney tangled) where her mother stole a plant then she gets punished, and shri'iia ends up in a tower except that her mother willingly stole that plant and risked everything so she can escape that dog eat dog environment and shri'iia willingly pledges her oath to a powerful old woman to be in that dog eat dog environment.

i imagine shri'iia's mother was a daughter of some noble house but more on the merchant side of the city, and the house itself was not too powerful but they def had land and probably specialized in selling alchemical ingredients/medicinal herbs, etc. i also don't believe in that idea that everyone in the spider city was plotting against each other and there are those who disagreed with lolth's will and silently rebelled, and her mother was def one of them. her mother orchestrating this whole plot where she gets caught stealing from her own house then gets punished by hacking off her hand and disowning her. now that she doesn't belong to any house, she ends up living in braeryn with her partner who was one of their house slaves and she raises shri'iia in the slums. even though she sacrificed her entire life, she ends up being free in some ways bc she's not playing the noble's games anymore. she's out of the chessboard bc she's essentially nothing to them, and now she can live a life with her husband where they can be more or less free...!!

but shri'iia doesn't understand that perspective ofc. to her she will never understand why her own mother decided to ruin her life and essentially turned away from the spider queen's will like that itself is a betrayal. so a part of her will always resent that about her mother, and the fact that she has no house name - no place to belong, no place in their world. so! when she starts to feel the presence of her goddess in her trance telling her that she will be giving her a set of trials and she'll need to succeed them to earn her love she's like omg yes queen

[arrowpunk]

Well I got a job

[4ce-of-2pades-inkwell]

@mintythecup

I hope your break from tumblr is doing you good. We await your return, but don't feel rushed. Savor that tiny-umbrella-drink.

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[non-un-topo]

The irony of trying to start a "pain journal" but being too fatigued and having too much brain fog from said pain to start one

[jvzebel-x]

"The impulse toward chaos was one he knew. It ran hand in hand with the desire for violence to be done to him. To destroy him because he was not worth saving."

x. "The Vanished Queen", Lisbeth Campbell

[marvosa-yroz]

Just had a weird revelation.

When I decided to make a new username to use for myself, I went with the name of the main character that was suppose-to-be in my original Wattpad book I kinda wrote a few years back (which never get past the drafts until to this day btw). The name of that character is an anagram to my full name in real life. So I took the two words of that name, and the rest was history.

Years later, I was scrolling from the comments section in YouTube, and one user commented "Maravilhosa!" For a sec there, I thought somebody mentioned my username, but then I reread it again and just sigh. "Oh it's just similar." So I translated it and it said, "Marvelous!"

Oh. When I think about it, 'marvosa' kinda sounds like 'maravilhosa' but was cut short. (I'm not even a Spanish speaker, so this was some coincidence.)

Curious, I stared at my other name, "yroz'. I based it off from the word 'eros', which my middle school self thought it meant love. I searched it, and it was love...but not the kind of love I thought back then.

So apparently, my username could mean "marvelous sex" for all I know.

[mrfoox]

.... I feel bad bc my friend is sad ) :

[khywae]

Khy I don’t know if you still keep up with HSR but this most recent update with Boothill has me so violently ill, ohhh my goddd.

My dearrr I had to basically stop playing all games last month because I had no spare time, and I didn’t want to rush the story 😢 I saw some snippets of what happened, but I’ll play it in full during the holidays. Can’t wait to see our dear cowboy again~

[monstersflashlight]

Pavlovian response (Day 1/8 of 10k followers event)

Werewolf x fem!reader || dub-com, exhibitionism, public sex, knotting

It starts like a joke, but when it starts working… You keep doing it. You’ve been training him for what feels like forever but had only been a couple weeks. Every time you are excited and a bit horny, you ring the bell. With just a tiny ring, he’s ready and leaking, ready to fuck you senseless.

And it’s fun. For both of you.

Until you ring the bell one day by accident, and he gets to you with a raging hard on and mouth salivating already, almost feral. You laugh about it, and he looks at you confused and ready to fuck, but you just chuckle and tell him to calm down. He doesn’t like that, but you keep going through your day. After a while you start to give it a good though, and the more you think about it, the more you want to test it.

So you start doing every once in a while, alternating it with times you actually have sex with him. And it works every single time. You accidentally trained your werewolf husband into one of Pavlov’s dogs, they irony is not lost on you as you chuckle at the thought. Maybe that’s a bit offensive to werewolves, but so funny you can’t stop from giggling every time you ring the bell.

But then it goes south.

You are going to tease him like any other day, but you don’t look at the moon calendar before doing it. Teasing your werewolf husband any day is dangerous, but close to the full moon is almost suicidal. But you are dumb enough to not realize, to do it before thinking twice about it. You ring the bell and go outside, on your way to the pack meeting.

You don’t hear him approach, you don’t feel his heat, you don’t realize he’s behind you until his chest is covering your back and you are being pushed to the ground and he starts grinding his monstrous hard on against the seam of your clothed pussy.

You moan without having time to stop it, and he growls. That shouldn’t make you as wet as it does, but as soon as you hear him you are soaking your panties and wanting to rock back into his dick. You try to break free of him, but you feel his clawed hands against your back, pushing you to the ground as he pushes your ass up. You are in complete submission as he manhandles you until you are panting on the ground and your pants and panties are wet with his precum. He’s leaking so much you can hear it against your clothes.

“We- The pack… The pack-meeting,” you get out as he keeps grinding against your center, making your brain fuzzy and your body thrum with anticipation.

“You think it’s funny?” He growls, his voice so low and dangerous that you had to swallow a whimper. “You think you’d get away with training me into your good pet?” You want to laugh, to cry, you are not sure. But his dick is pressing your clothes against your clit and creating the most amazing friction, driving you so insane.

“I- I’m sorry,” you apologize, your voice breathy and needy, completely messed up after the constant grinding of his dick against your center.

He laughs cruelly, his body cracking behind you. “No, you are not. You love being treated roughly, you love when I fuck you senseless… And now, you are going to get every little bit of that.” You feel him change before you feel his claws prickling at your sides. His body turning so much bigger, so much stronger. You are swallowed by the size of him, so big and feral.

“He- Here?” You ask, trying to focus on the fact that you were outside, close to the pack-meeting point. Closer to all your friends. And you were about to get fucked.

“Yes.” He growls against your ear, his fangs too big to fit his mouth, saliva dripping down your neck as he holds you down and tears your clothes away. Just like that you are naked against the floor and his dick is rubbing against your soaked entrance.

“Somebody could see!” You exclaim, a bit alarmed. He growls against your ear. You groan, his feral nature turning you on more than anything ever could. “They- they are going to see!” You repeat, but he’s too far gone for that. Too far gone to care about anybody seeing you.

“Let them,” he growls. His dick pushes inside of you as you cry out.

He fucks you like a piston, fucking in and out of your pussy like he’s the owner of it, of you. And you can’t stop the ah ah ah you are letting out every time the tip of his dick hits your happy place.

When everyone starts arriving, you want to melt into the ground, but also melt into him. The pleasure is so intense and it’s only heightened by the eyes on you. You are exposed, your pussy being fucked in front of everyone as you groan and moan uncontrollably. He fucks you ferally, no control, no finesse, no caress at all about your well-being, just using you as his full moon toy.

And everyone is watching.

You want to be embarrassed, you want to be mad at him, but in reality you are just hot all over seeing everyone looking at you as you get fucked. Most of them say nothing, some of them are rubbing themselves through their clothes. And you can’t stop the broken groan escaping your mouth at the sight.

You come. Just like that, with everyone watching how much of a slut you are for him. Everyone watching as you get fucked without an inch out of your life. When he starts expanding inside of you, you scream. He growls and bites the back of your neck, making you submit completely to him as his knot fills you. You cry out again, whimpering as he grinds his hips against your pussy. Someone laughs at your pathetic attempt of moving, and your face is hot with embarrassment.

He fills you to the brim, and by the time his dick deflates, there’s an orgy going around you, some jerking off, some fucking, everyone is in some kind of nakedness. He pulls out and howls, enticing a bunch of responses from the rest of the pack. He looks at your abused pussy, leaking and stretched and licks you clean with his long and raspy tongue, so inhuman in his transformed form. You groan and come again, crying out as everyone around you cheers.

He picks you up and walks away. “Never thought she was such a slut…” Someone says as your werewolf husband carries you away, his tail wiggling behind him as he takes you to his den, to your house, to keep fucking you until he’s satisfied.

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.