#only in an internalised way tho

[conanssummerchild]

being alive is soooo embarrasing like oh no i cant handle loud noises like everyone else can oh nooo

[akkivee]

it makes me laugh knowing the way kuukou disciplines people is because it’s the way shakku disciplined him lol

[wyngigi]

ꕀ LUST FOR LIFE ꕀ 04

↳ sex money feelings die remastered .ᐟ cross posted on ao3

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“ they say only the good die young, that just ain't right 'cause we're having too much fun, too much fun tonight ”

↳ synopsis: a group of individuals find that their first taste of freedom in the world brings more obstacles than expected. some of them, find solace by drowning in liquor or in the backseat of somebody else’s car. a lot of them have got to get their shit together. a lot of them won't.

mdni » story contains nsfw content intended for 18+ audiences pairings » member specific, not listed for spoiler purposes ↳󠁪󠁪 ateez x female reader, ateez x ateez ↳ genre » coming of age ↳ word count » 2.3k ↳ general warnings » substance abuse & consumption, sexual content, morally grey characters, unreliable narrators, internalised homophobia, angst, basically every struggle young adolescence can go through ↳ a/n┆i hope u guys love this chapter as much as i do !! a little blast from the past always has me excited <3 p.s let me know which pairings ur rooting for after reading hehe (and yes next chapter we will be back at the party dont worry the drama has just begun)

04⌇memories of summer bring you

As San weaves his way through the crowd, past the drunken bodies of guys and girls alike, he finds himself reminiscing in just how much he had changed the past few years. Was it okay to live a life like he was right now? He’s not too sure. San first thinks of high school, then his thoughts float to you.

San watches the clock tick above his teacher’s desk, mind wandering as he scribbles on his worksheet with a ballpoint pen. He’s trapped in a god-awful environmental science class (which mind you would’ve been a free period instead), courtesy of not taking enough science courses earlier on to hit the credit minimum. It’s torturous, making him study about the world in a stuffy classroom when he could be out there learning by simply living in it.

San might just be a little salty, but the lesson isn’t actually that interesting either, so his mind has been elsewhere the last half hour. He’ll listen when it actually gets important, maybe. First he was daydreaming about buying a motorcycle and speeding off into the sunset, away from this boring sad old town to go live some larger-than-life bullshit.

Then he thought it’d be too lonely to do by himself, so he brainstormed an alternative. If he were ever able to do it, he’d probably try convincing someone to come with him. He hasn’t even finished his senior year, yet his ideas still don’t seem all that crazy to him. It might be farfetched to others, but San disagrees. If you aren’t dreaming big, could it even be considered a dream at all?

Then he starts wondering if his thoughts are too reckless most, if not all of the time, if attempting to move through life hastily would be too irresponsible and could scare the people around him. But he really doesn’t want to miss out on living, San wants to go see and do the things you have to go out of your way to experience. Something you make the journey for to begin with, not just a simple detour.

The type of stuff you have to just hold your breath for and jump into with no regret before it’s too late, the tide retreating, water becoming far too shallow. (He truly wasn’t lying earlier when he said he loves to be on the move, or that the thrill of exploring had always been dangerously enticing to him.) Those mantras, principles, whatever you wish to call them replay in his mind daily. They always have.

San knows the world won’t slow down and wait for him too. He sees it outside the classroom window right now, how the cars still pass down the street as the birds fly high into the sky even if he’s confined to his seat. San is well aware that it’s him who has to be the one to take the leap of faith and choose to start living. The problem is that sometimes he just can’t.

When San would think about the daredevils, adrenaline junkies, risk takers of the world, those who love to live on the edge of things, preparing for their big take off, he’d think of how he would love to be like that someday. Yeah, someday. The difference was he liked staying on the edge too much. Didn’t like the feeling of climbing to the highest point just for the glory if he could end up tipping over, see himself falling down and lose control of everything in the process.

When third period ends San makes his way out of class then down the hall, stopping at his locker so he can drop off the notebook and stationery he no longer needs till after his second lunch break. San knows he has PE next, so he quickly grabs his gym clothes. It’s not that he cares much about being late for it or missing out on any of the “action” though, he only really enjoys it depending on what sport they’re playing.

He likes the sports where his only role is to defend whenever a ball or something comes his way. It’s why he thinks volleyball is torture; trying his best to stay in his position once his team scores but then somebody is already telling him to hurry up and rotate. Those days are just endless cycles of torture. Actually, were.  He started to sit in the nurse’s office on those days.

It’s a good thing they’re doing netball today (he doesn’t have any more passes to sit in the med bay now). San has a lot of fun playing it. He’s even claimed the goalkeeper bib before anyone else can so much that whoever he plays with just lets him have it. The people he usually plays with are good enough to the point where the opposing team never even gets to his third of the court.

Goalkeeper suits him for that exact reason, he enjoys getting to win without even having to take a shot with the ball. San liked how it was so much he didn’t think or want to try being a goal attacker or centre. Well, maybe sometimes he did a little. There were a couple instances where he wanted to try a different role for the first time. San had gotten as close as picking up a different position bib even. Thoughts like that were shoved away quickly however, and the bib would end thrown back into the crate. The mere possibility of letting anyone down in case he was terrible outweighed his curiosity (and potential) on multiple occasions.

Failure was a funny thing; it had given him a terrible feeling that would sit in the pit of his stomach or make him so nauseous it was awfully dizzying. The funnier thing was that San had never truly failed at anything in life, simply because he had never tried much to begin with. That was the case, for quite some time in his life as he knew it. He had been growing more than okay with that knowledge as time passed, then one day he wasn’t.

As he turned away from his locker, San spotted you walking the opposite way to your own fourth period class, clearly getting ready to ditch the rest of the day. His heartbeat had sped up and his palms were awfully sweaty but for the first time ever, he shut out every reasoning voice in his head and chose to do something he never had the courage to before.

The two of you were in the same grade, so he had seen you passing by in the hallways always with both earphones in (to drown out everyone else he assumes, you never talked to anyone when you had them in while carrying an almost sorrow expression). Despite how you looked, you would still be humming away to a tune he could never fully quite catch.

He also knew your lunch times were spent eating shitty snacks from the vending machines and that you really liked the strawberry lollipops from the cafeteria (which they only sold every Friday for some fucked up reason, he overheard you complaining about it to your friends in math).

San would also see you after school with all of your cooler, older friends too. You would all huddle around the corner near the bike racks in the parking lot, out of sight from teachers so you could bum cigarettes off of each other. You’d also listen to music while you were there, only with one earphone in though so you could still hear everyone talk. He liked seeing that, you always looked happy and smiley talking to your friends.

The two of you weren’t complete strangers, but nowhere close enough where he could feel safe calling you his friend either. You shared multiple classes with San, greeting him with a small smile when you’d walk by his seat to get to your own (he liked that you’d always say hi to him even when he never did first). The both of you even worked on group projects together, but that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to know more about you, to take even the smallest peek at the inner workings of your mind. To find out how you always seemed to not care when things went wrong.

He thinks of your reaction when you would fail a test, how you’d simply shrug before shoving the paper into the bottom of your backpack. Immediately after, smiling as you’d turn around to talk to your friends about whatever you all planned to do that weekend. Stuff like that didn’t make much sense to him. Why would you not opt out of hanging out just for one weekend and study harder to do better on the next test like he would?

San supposes that’s what separates the two of you into vastly different worlds, yet he wants nothing more than to just step over that line and join you.

When he had spotted you there, on that humid summer day in early June a feeling had begun to settle into his stomach again. The strange bit was that it didn’t feel humiliating nor demeaning, but there was still something unsettling about it. It felt extremely foreign at first but now, incredibly comforting. Because for once, it didn’t feel like failure.

So, he then decided to call out to you. It was the very first time he had ever greeted you, without you doing it first. Your name exceedingly foreign on his tongue when coming out of his mouth while you weren’t sitting at your desks in a shared class. You had turned around at the noise, both earphones still blasting music into your ears.

Once you had recognised who the voice belonged too, you immediately had taken out both of your earphones with a smile. The tune he had never been able to fully hear, was now playing into the world for him to hear freely. He felt the corners of his mouth beginning to prick upwards at that. Yet with no plan of what words he would say now, San was immediately regretting his choice to speak to you. His fists were balled up in front of him, grip tightening on his clothes ever so slightly as he lowers his eyes down away from you.

The edge he always treads so carefully on was now unstable and he felt it beginning to crack already. You don’t leave him any more time to freak out over it though. When he looks up, he sees you already opening your mouth to say hello in the soft tone you always use, ushering him over.

“Hey, San. You want to come skip with me?”

The cool breeze flowing through the corridor, cooling down his cheeks just had to heat up again when he locked eyes with you, of course they did. Because San had always found everything about you pretty, from the first time he ever saw you. Not a day would there be a doubt in his mind of that. But, in that very moment he found you strikingly beautiful. In a split second, where his brain and his heart finally worked in unison he had responded hurriedly, before he could overthink it and regret it for the rest of his days.

“Yeah, I do. I’ll come along,” As he chucked his gym clothes back into his locker, a switch had been flicked on in his mind. When he turned around and saw you then, one lollipop in your mouth and a second in your hand, held out to him, a realisation had been thrown into his face like a bucket of ice-cold water. San had ultimately discovered that dancing on the edge was fun, yet leaping off it was much better. Even if the water was too shallow down below, San thinks he would be okay with that.

While walking away from the gym and instead down the hall with you by his side, San had spotted your earphones tangled up and peeking out of your backpack. That day, he settled with the fact that maybe it was okay to be a little too reckless, to move a tad too fast. Even if it could scare people, even if it scared him.

If you asked San what made him love that summer far more than the previous ones, he might mention his drunken bike rides with you and your friends, or the nights he spent laying on the beach with you gazing at the stars. Hell, he even liked the part time job he had to take up thanks to the party you helped him throw (which ended in that broken window he had to pay for). Spending a portion of his summer working as a server wasn’t fun in theory but when you’d visit him on his breaks or pick him up after his shifts, San had found it pretty worth it in the end.

He was truly happy in every moment back then; he’s enlightened even now, because all the memories of summer bring you back to him. Despite existing only as a brief moment in his own mind, San is content because whenever he closes his eyes he finds a version of you is there with him. He’s able feel the sun on his bare skin, with your lips pressed against his own again. His favorite bit being when the lingering hint of strawberries followed as you both pulled away.

Yeah, that’s exactly when it was. Three summers ago. When San had first decided it was alright to embrace being him, to be the person he still was today. All thanks to you.

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[hyperionheights]

bones sexuality headcanons

yeah i dont have proof (except angela) i just Know. call it my lesbian spidey senses. disclaimer that those are MY headcanons, you can have your own opinions on those ofc

main characters:

brennan: bi (preference for ugly men... but i digress). she probably started exploring her sexual orientiation in college and came to the conclusion that she's attracted to every gender to varying degrees. she's probably tongue kissed angela a few times pre season 1

booth: cishet ally! ⭐️ he's a bit confused but he's got the spirit, i'll give him that.. bi wife energy start playing whenever he walks into the room

zack: gayboi with a bad case of hero worship for dr brennan. naomi from paleonthology made him realise this isnt really what he'd like to excavate, if you get the gist... ;) (ew)

angela: imo? bi, but it's up to anyone. canon queer and i'm very happy about it

hodgins: bi. putting my foot down on this one- to me, hodgela is bi4bi. one day early into the series angela goes "why is everyone so hot... being bi is so hard" and hodgins is like "yeah, tell me about it" and they have a Oh, You Too? moment

cam: distinguished (ex-disaster) pan. she's all cool and collected now but in middle school she was probably stuttering whenever she saw a pretty girl

sweets: pan. boykisser. i just KNOW. that man is not heterosexual. probably had a few boyfriends in high school too

aubrey: bi? preference for women but in an alternate universe he and sweets are a thing

goodman: token straightie along with booth except i actually like him even tho even tho he took a 2 month sabbatical and never came back

squinterns:

clark: bi. a bit repressed and only realised it after breaking up with nora but as long as he gets there it's fine

daisy: pan. absolute girlkisser. she has the wlw equivalent of whatever zack felt for dr brennan. swaisy is a disaster pan couple.

fisher: pan- and i wont have it any other way. he was 100% checking sweets out when he came over to b&b's in s8, so i like to think when hodgins asks sweets "what is it with you and interns?" in 9x23 he's including fisher

wendell: bi and in a lab au he's dating vincent thank you

vincent: english twink and i think he and wendell should kiss in the lab lost & found

arastoo: straightie but we still love him. pan wife energy since he and cam are married

finn: god, i have No Idea but i have a feeling he doesn't either

wells: aro, and maybe ace too, but fyi even if he wasn't no one would want him

jessica: ... i used to say lesbian but i kinda let the jaubrey of it all get to me... pan vibes perhaps? i'll have to think it over. in another universe she and daisy are a thing too btw

other characters:

caroline julian:... lesbian. no i will not give an explanation for this one. sham marriage and all.

karen delfs: big pansexual energy coming from this random profiler?? i like her

villains: (do not take those seriously, but also...)

pelant: unlabeled. getting strangled by hodgins awoke something in him but he didnt have the time to figure it out between 8x01 and 9x04

taffet: very VERY mean lesbian

epps: heterosexual incel

broadsky: internalised homophobia over booth, clearly

kovac: the man pretended to be married to his sister. i'm not sure i even wanna know

[unnaturalequilibrium]

Capítulo 13

- Mafin rewatch (Sueños de Libertad)

I do like Marta and Jesús together and I really wish he wasn’t such a psycho, because even though their relationship is tempetous, it is nuanced in a way that’s interesting to watch. And there’s also - I don’t know if respect is quite the right word for it, but there is a sense of shared professionalism between them. At least at this point. He doesn’t believe in the idea that the photographer has pitched with one of their workers as the model for the new perfume, but sales is Marta’s field so he gives her free reigns. Maybe because he underestimates her, maybe because he’s distracted or maybe because there is a sense of respect despite it all. Or he’s under the impression she’ll hang herself with the slack he gives her, but…yeah. It’s a fascinating relationship.

Ahh, there it is. Marta left to her own devices in the office, picking up Fina’s picture. Something has begun rolling and it’s picking up speed.

Fina is so sensible I fall in love with her again and again. Her reaction to one of the worker’s being picked as the face of the new perfume is simply “well that would be a bit embarrassing, wouldn’t it?!”. 

Oh, here it comes. Marta lets it rip as Fina shows familiarity with one of the customers and calls her pretty (an old friend of hers from school). This does not sit well with Marta, even with an audience in the photographer she absolutely tears into Fina. Fina who she only a few episodes ago defended fiercely, because she was such a good person and worker. But seeing and hearing her be familiar with another woman and calling her beautiful clearly triggers something in Marta and for a little while her eyes take on a subconscious green tint.

Even though there is a lot of power imbalance between them Fina sort of still stands her ground. Marta keeps going at her, demanding an explanation and Fina finally snaps that she’s trying to respond to her, but she isn’t leaving room for it. It’s kind of - not disrespectful, but it shows a fire and it clearly only makes Marta more worked up. I sort of get it though, imagine being annoyed at someone because you’re finding them attractive and as you try to shut that down they do something that only makes them even more attractive. 

That profile tho-

The photographer calls Marta out on her behaviour as Fina leave and she tries to shrug it off as her being all about that professionalism. That she just gets worked up when one of her workers steps out of line. Which yeah, maybe could have been an excuse. And maybe he and I could believe her, if she hadn’t followed it up by watching Fina close the door with the expression of a sad wet hungry dog begging for scraps at the table ladened by steak and steak and steak. "Emo lesbian longing" is the name of her punk band and she's the lead singer . He’s got eyes, so he picks up on it.

Fina is convinced her rather brusque treatment from Marta is due to homophobia. I mean. Yeah she’s not wrong, but it's the internalised kind. Carmen defends Marta however. But Fina doesn’t quite buy it, she thinks that maybe the only reason Petra was let go instead of her is because of her father and his relationship to the DLR family. And now instead Marta is determined to make her life a hell until she quits on her own. Carmen having none of it, telling Fina that no one has a right to kick her out of anything for who she is. Also that she doesn’t think Marta is that kind of woman. Have I mentioned I love Carmen? Fina and Carmen eventually make a pact of helping each other forget about their woes with Marta and Tasio and go for the audition for the perfume campaign instead. I love these besties.

Fina pressuring Claudia to come clean with Carmen, because even if she’s no longer seeing Tasio, Fina wants Carmen to know. To know what a right bastard he is. That is a true friend. Also, it’s as if she’s allergic to secrets and lies and I do love that about her, even if it repeatedly puts her in a lot of trouble. Especially with the whole homosexuality in a time when it’s illegal. Also, I think this is why I sometimes have issues with Claudia, if she’d just owned her mistake in this and told Carmen as much, then I’d have a lot more respect for her. Hiding the truth and hoping it won’t come out, yeah that’s the kind of behaviour I despise in real life and the same rules apply to the fiction I consume.

Fina untying that bow on her chest stirs things within my soul.

Carmen and Fina almost coming to an argument because Carmen says she wants to help Tasio pay off his debts. This relationship is really well done. It feels dynamic and alive. They're incredibly caring with one another, but they're also very much their own persons and do not always see eye to eye on everything. It's - yeah, feels alive and real.

Oh, there’s the guns, Marta at the formal family dinner bringing the gunshow in a really pretty sleeveless dark dress. But yeah I was sort of right, the gay was outed first. Sort of at least.

I’m going to distract myself from the cheating straights being unsubtle and gross at the table by thinking about how I want so badly to see Fina at one of these family dinners. I used to think it would be an impossibility, but the way the story has been going, maybe not, but this is me getting way way ahead of events. But there’s just something about the idea of one of these fancy ass formal family dinners and Fina by Marta’s side that - this too stirs things within my soul, though in a slightly different manner.

Jesús is a sloppy drunk, but an entertaining bitch. Marta holding back Luis makes me happy. If I were to write fanfic I think I would write up this relationship, they’d probably be more of confidants than they are on the show. The beginnings of that kind of relationship is already on screen, but just not given a lot of time or development. I want it mainly because, out of all the members of that twisted clan of theirs - they're the only decent ones.

[fernlessbastard]

You guys aren't ready for the conversation of how Quackity sincerely loves bottoming

I'm not at all saying he wants to always bottom, I'd say he still prefers topping most of the time, but whenever he's down to get something up his ass, he's DOWN to get something up his ass, if you know what I mean

(the switching applies to position only, tho. I sincerely can't see him genuinely enjoying subbing, and neither can I see Wilbur actually domming unless they're both being influenced by years of internalised homophobia and patriarchy and all that bullshit, but even then it's just cringe and they're just both pretending it's not cause it's easier that way (and the sex itself isn't like, actively bad, not to mention that it provides some degree of an emotional connection which they both desperately crave), plus it's still basically vanilla just with a little bit of dirty talk - that's how i see them in Pogtopia (with Q bottoming - if you want another huge post on their Pogtopia dynamic let me know cause I have so many thoughts on it and how their traumas affected them and their relationship and how complicated it all was))

That being said, man's 10000% intensely fucking traumatised

(tw personal hc and following the logical path from canon implications idfk)(also exaggeration) like, if he were ACTIVELY evil and had ZERO (even personal) moral code, then the amount of anger he feels towards Schlatt for taking away the enjoyment of it is probably enough to ignore all ethics and torture Dream so utterly unimaginably he ends up violating entirety of the Geneva convention, and then having 50 new ones written specifically to condemn his actions, just to break every single one of those as well on the way, just so that Dream gives him the revival book so that he can re-kill Schlatt with his own hands

Also he absolutely re-traumatised himself with Karl and Sapnap cause he was for sure like "I shouldn't be having an intense panic attack right now, I'm going to push all my energy into pretending that everything's ok and that I don't want to cry and scream and rip my skin off. I'm just being silly and dramatic anyway ha ha" which just resulted in them unknowingly hurting him all over again. I take no criticism. Q's got MASSIVE communication issues when it comes to validating his feelings and Karl and Sapnap are "everything's fine"-ing way too much on the daily. And whole Quackity should work on his issues, it IS a partner's job to at least try to check up on the other(s) (and vice versa), and Karl and Sapnap clearly always preferred to ignore any hints that something might be wrong as a general life rule. The relationship was immaturely focused on "fun and good vibes" from the very start, so any bad topic obviously felt out of place. It started off with lack of communication and it died cause of it too.

That's also actually why I will always firmly stand by the fact that Wilbur (during las Nevadas era) is the only person with whom he could ever heal, btw (yes, including Charlie as a hypothetical romantic interest). Cause Schlatt's abusive, Karl and Sapnap "deserve better" in his eyes (so he pretends to be fine until shit hits the fan and everything falls apart)(that also applies to his hypothetical relationship with Charlie). But with Wilbur there's enough distance to feel safe and call out his bullshit without retaliation in form of abuse, and on the other hand he doesn't care to pretend to be perfect - hell, he probably purposefully shoves his issues onto the guy cause he's like "you think you're so strong and stubborn you can handle me??? You think???? Think again." (Wilbur does the same btw). They're purposefully trying to push each other away, destroy the "relationship", show each other just how fucked up they are. They're psycho-competitive. Even being the first one to be "too much" and get abandoned turns into a competition.

But it backfires. They bond. They're real with each other. They're stubborn, they're determined enough to stay just long enough to see each other's walls crack. And once they do, the feelings are quick to spill. They're each other's only people to be GENUINELY themselves with - no masks, no manipulation, no bullshit. Just themselves. And that's the first, CRUCIAL step to developing a healthy relationship (or at least healthier than all their other relationships).

So with Wilbur he probably only tries to bottom either once he ACTUALLY begins to feel like he could maybe try to reclaim it, or even if he tries it in a self-destructive way, (considering their history+patriarchy and shit) Wilbur'd know and care enough to realise Q's just trying to hurt himself. And as shitty as Wilbur can be sometimes, he's not a bad person - he'd stop Q if things'd go too far, or give him (at least a temporary) safe space to safely go through a breakdown without hurting himself like that. He wouldn't take advantage of such a low moment, and he would know enough to recognise it's a low moment in the first place.

Anyway once they figure all that out and Quackity's genuinely comfortable with it again, it's for sure not uncommon for him to enjoy some nice aggressive pounding, all the while having one hand in Wilbur's hair, pulling it to hold him close, and the other hand on Wilbur's neck, lightly choking him as they're intensely making out

All that to say Q's a massive sadist but he's also a huge massochist and he'll absolutely have Wilbur on a nice leash and call him a pathetic, desperate, horny dog or something like that as the man's (purposefully) sloppily thrusting in and out of him, causing the most "carnage" he can (Wilbur will be double fisting Quackity and Quackity will be just looking at him unfazed like "your hands are small" (they're not)/hj)

Oh btw to clarify [TW ok more direct talk of SA so please be careful and take care of yourselves]- yes, I'm absolutely saying Q got repeatedly SA'd by Schlatt throughout their relationship. The guy was canonically generally verbally and physically abusive, AND basically the whole point of his character is that he's like, the epitome of everything wrong with society. Add to that the sexual comments which were constantly used to demean, insult, and objectify Q, as well as Quackity's intense, palpitable discomfort which noticeably grows each time the topic comes up when they meet after Schlatt's death during Las Nevdas era, it's a pretty safe bet to assume Schlatt didn't stop at "just" verbal and physical violence. Sexual violence is almost a guarantee when you consider all that context - it's hardly even "reading between the lines". And you can't tell me that in our society that views being penetrated during sex as something negative, especially for men, while viewing penetrating someone as an act of "conquering" and "winning" and all that a character who's supposed to embody as many of this world's faults as possible wouldn't shove his dick where it's not wanted, even just purely to prove he can despite lack of consent.

[cluelessandsenseless]

Tim Laflour headcanon

Had to make a cute collage of my current obsession Tim Laflour (x blackfem!Reader- since I’m black and finding content for melanated girls is like finding a good man) use of she/her pronouns for Y/N.

Y/N is supposed to be Darryl’s little sister so like Bbf vibes. Cute bunny girl vibes just effortless, pretty and girly, ya know?

Y/N is Darryl’s sister who might transfer so she comes to check out some classes and tour the campus.

She’s only heard good things about Tim and thought he was hot when they first met.

Tim helps her carry her bags up even though Darryl is there (no ones complaining tho).

Tim thinks she’s cute but he thinks she’s probably judging him because of his fashion sense.

They get along so well when she arrives.

Y/N is kinda shy but not with Tim, he was just so sweet.

Y/N asked about the chiming sound.

They love how opposite they are to each other, like Tim thinks she’s so cute with the way she dresses.

Tim loves when she looks up at him with her doe eyes, she’s small in comparison to him (since he’s 6’4”).

Whereas she thinks he looks so cool/hot with the dark clothing, pierced face and how his personality juxtaposes his style.

Y/N loves everything cute but reads and watches horrors.

She loves Buffy the vampire slayer and clueless (because I do).

Y/N listens to Riot girl music and soft alt rock because she loves rock for girls

They just like to admire each other.

Y/N has long box braids.

She wears cute little pjs and always smells like fruits.

Tim loves that after Y/N showers the smell of her fruity body lotion and shower gel is all over the appartement.

Y/N loves that’s Tim smells like leather and cologne, she thinks it’s very masculine (ignore the low key internalised misogyny)

They don’t know that their crushes are mutual (Darryl does tho and he won’t tell).

Y/N deffo flirts with Tim in front of Darryl, she doesn’t see any issue with it.

Y/N always makes eye contact when he speaks to her, bites her lip and laughs at all of Tim’s jokes

She makes him blush.❤️

Gives him a kiss on the cheek for good luck (just a little too close to his lips) before he gets on the ice.

Y/N leaves lip gloss stains on his cheek.

He skates up to her whilst she is taking a tour of the campus (he’s even taller in the skates).

Tim offers to give her a better tour.

Gives her his jacket if she gets cold, It’s so big and harsh looking on her.

Y/N loves listening to Tim talk about whatever new thing he’s into.

I think Tim low key loves attention and she loves to listen.

When Darryl isn’t home they order takeout and flirt (they can’t help it).

They watch hockey in Tim’s room and she gets very comfortable meanwhile he can’t pay attention to the game because she’s wearing her pjs in his bed.

Tim takes her and Darryl to a punk bar, Y/N loves it.

Asks Tim to take her to get a piercing, Tim is conflicted because he think she would look hot but also loves how untouched she looks.

Maybe Y/N tells Tim she already has a nipple piercing/piercings and he melts at the thought.

Tim always compliments her outfit and hair, that she makes extra cute for him.

She thinks he’s pretty.

He thinks she’s pretty.

Y/N leaves after 2 weeks but transfers over the next semester.

They spend so much time together.

That’s all for now.

It’s just a bit too much text for a mood board collage but I wanted it to be like a headcanon almost, so we move.

All the photos are from Pinterest.

I love making little mood boards and I love my man Tim, he’s so cute and eats down I know it!

I might make more of these and maybe try and make them gender neutral. I could never write a full fic but I do love a good mood board. Xx

[absolutebl]

Hi! apologies if you've answered this before, but can you recommend some bls that deal with homophobia, be it internalised or external? or more generally, bls that are not set in the bl bubble where gayness is 100% accepted?

Thank you very much <3

Ooo, sure thing!

BL's Not Set in The Bubble

BLs that deal with homophobia (internal or external) and rough coming out sequences

Began Beginning from Myanmar is all about this. It's not a BL I would necessarily recommend but it is interesting for many reasons. Both leads are dealing with massive internalize homophobia, among other issues.

Similarly: Like in the Movies and Tie the Not from the Philippines.

And Goodbye Mother and Nation's Brother from Vietnam.

From Thailand

To Sir, With Love - witnessing his family's massive homophobia that results in major tragedy as a child is what drives our main character's whole personality and self hatred. Massive trigger warning.

Until We Meet Again - the pair in the past, of course, it's the driving trauma of the relationship reincarnated. Massive trigger warning.

I Feel You Linger In the Air - fear of being caught is a through line in this drama.

More modern set stuff:

City of Stars deals with having to leave the closet as a super star. So does Close Friend Season 2 a little. The OhmFluke pair also deals with coming out to parents. Love Stage!! (Thailands version) contains one couple that chooses to remain closeted for the good of a career and another that risks it.

Moonlight Chicken - mostly about self hatred and difficulty in being out, to the point where his young nephew challenges him on it and provides a foil.

Also, ya know, TharnType and Why R U. Both have self hated and challenging coming outs because of trauma and daddy issues.

Dark Blue Kiss - Kao is terrified of being outed and it's used to blackmail him.

Similarly although he is out of Ae, Pete is being abused and blackmailed because he is gay in Love By Chance. Also Ae doesn't manage to come out... yet.

I Told Sunset About You - of course.

My Gear and Your Gown final episodes contain homophobic (or are they?) parents.

Second Chance heavily implies that there is something going on with Paper's inability to accept Fah.

Similarly Gene accepting Sib in Lovely Writer.

I'm pretty sure there's a ton of homophobia at the back end of My Tee, but honestly it's been years sicne I watched that mess.

Charming little pulp 21 Day Theory deals with quite a bti of this, but our main character has a lovely gay uncle to guide the way.

"Punch the homophobe" my favorite trope of all time, happens in Oxygen. But otherwise they neatly circumvent the patriarchs objection by defacto adopting a child to inherit.

TonhonChonlatee is all about one characters inability to acept his own queerness as encouraged by his homophobic family and various other evil characters.

My Only 12% actively tackles and calls out cultural homophobia and damaging misrepresentations.

"Why does everyone think that both of them are strange? If it's not wrong, why does everyone hurt?"

The show he's talking about is Thailand's first proto-BL, love of Siam and it is about an inability to come out.

From Japan

Life: Love on the Line - it's parental disgust and personal self hatred and paranoia that breaks them up (they get back together but he as to get over it)

Similarly His - is a kind of reunion romance after self-homophobia drove one half of the pair to marry someone else.

Actually the original series with the same characters, His the series, also deals with self acceptance around gayness, and it's subtle (Japan) but it's pretty clear one of them was kicked out of/ or left his previous school because he got outed. (Light on Me references a similar situation, but it's ultra subtle.)

If It's With You also kinda falls into this category. Not sure these can be called "dealing with" it tho, more side stepping and alluding to it.

Tokyo in April is - yeah it's kinda the whole thing from one half of this pair

What Did You Eat Yesterday also has a coming out to the parents thread throughout, and a coming out at work thing, but it's not really the point of the show.

From Korea

Most Korean BL are gonna be out. The specialize in the bubble. Although a case could be made for Love For Love's Sake and Love Class. And, see comment, Jazz for Two.

One noted exception is Just Friends which is a short piece about coming out to mom while on leave from the military. This is one of Korea's earliest BL pieces and not strictly BL, but it's fascinating in that neither theme (military nor coming out) would reall be reused again.

From Taiwan

My Tooth Your Love - has a kinda different take and we aren't sure, as viewers whether it's because he's gay or because he's not doing what the Patriarch wishes. But trigger warning for [physical abuse.

DNA Says Love You deals with this and other forms of queerphobia during the later half. Slow start but I do love this show.

Faded is a propaganda piece (pro marriage equality) which is all about coming out to a parent.

In H4CTY Xing Si (of the side couple) is having a hard time coming out but that's complied by the fact that he's fucking his stepbrother, it's a mess, bit I enjoy them - v problematic couple tho.

Papa & Daddy actually has a coming out sequence (GASP!) where the parents don't take it well as does Love is Science? (sides) - but the later is mostly because disaster bi is also baby daddy.

Red Balloon, of course, and it's sibling movie Your Name Engraved Herein are kinda all about self loathing and suffering because of gayness and lack of acceptance.

Unknown is certainly tackling some of this.

In which I talk about some of my favorite coming out sequences:

He's Coming to Me has my favorite series of coming out sequences to both friends and mother.

A few more that I really don't like (Promise) and probably Together With Me should be here, but I willfully can't remember them.

(source)

[marcmorrigan]

finally delivering on the princess tutu headshots i promised... love these dysfunctional teens 🩰💖💕

LOTS of notes about headcanons/design choices under the cut! like. a lot. dont say i didnt warn you

starting with my specialest guy fakir:

i had a suuuper clear vision for fakir, and i couldnt be happier with how he turned out, he looks exactly how i imagine him! trying to translate his Bird-Shaped Hair into my style gave me SERIOUS homestuck flashbacks. my affinity for knights with Problems knows no bounds...

adding the hyperpigmentation around his eyes and his acne scars is what really solidified this for me-- i put those in and was like oh!!! there you are!!! my boy!!! and you can tell because i gave him acne scars + thick eyebrows that he IS my boy... there are very clear trends among my headcanons for my faves lol. big noses, thick eyebrows, skin imperfections, heavy eyebags, long dark hair... and fakir truly has it all 😤 he is so Ideal Character Design to me

i think fakir is actually pretty self-conscious about his appearance tho! we see characters like pike and lilie say hes handsome to ahiru, but i dont know how often he actually hears that? and im sure its hard not to compare himself to mytho, who is straight out of a fairy tale; being a regular teenager dealing with regular teen body stuff is hard enough without your roommate being a magically beautiful eternally youthful storybook hero. i think he probably internalises more that people see him as scary and angry, and that the girls who do have crushes on him always frame it in contrast to mytho, who is Good and Kind and Handsome, implying (or sometimes outright stating!) that fakir is Bad and Mean and... Well...

fakir is very sensitive but quiet about it, so i think its a very private point of self-consciousness. i think he puts a lot of semi-secret effort into his appearance; canonically he has a lot of very funny and clearly customised clothing, and he chooses to keep his hair long and in a very particular style (i have a whole breakdown in my mind of how he achieves that style and it involves a surprising amount of pins and an unsurprising fuckton of teasing. i think his hair is a little fried from heat damage!), and i think that probably extends to other things, too, like manicuring his eyebrows and doing a lot of very Teenage Skincare that doesnt actually help his acne much lol. i think he probably has a lot of self-injurious habits and BFRBs like skin picking and chewing, mostly at his acne and around his nails (both of which he hates, because he knows he shouldnt but does it anyway). i think if he does it enough that theres noticeable evidence it feels, like, world-ending for him, ESPECIALLY if anyone asks what happened lol. do not perceive him except in the very specific ways and contexts he approves of THANKS

on to the narratives favorite princess, mytho:

again, i had a pretty clear idea of the vibe i wanted mytho to have going into this-- i want him to have, like, extreme prince charming vibes, very Classically Handsome without necessarily being 'conventional.' i thought a lot about 'the happy prince' story while i was working on this, and really wanted him to look like a cross between how the prince statue looks in my head and a porcelain doll. and also a cross between jonny brown and brigitte bardot? lots of very direct influences for him lol. so! lots of gold tones, gemmy eye color, cute little tooth gap, quivering wide-eyed thousand-yard-stare doe eyes and big ol dolly anime lashes, which were the very last thing i added because i was NERVOUS about pulling those off lol. they turned out cute tho! ive only done a handful of pieces for this series and i can already tell princess tutu is gonna make me up my lash drawing game considerably, these kids all look like they blink and cause a hurricane from the gale force wind of their falsies

also wait i lied the very last thing i did was add his freckles/beauty marks because he needed that little extra oomph and those were It. i think he probably has some on his hands/wrists too 💕

i was a little unsure if my idea for his hair would translate with this flat-color approach but im pretty happy with it! its supposed to be afrotextured hair (somewhere between 3b and 4c i think? wide range of potential i knowww but im still kind of hammering out my headcanons okay, this is exploratory lol) thats been rolled and finger-styled into his little feather shapes. i think loose, chunky twists would be another fun way to interpret his hair and twists are one of my fave styles to draw do i might draw him like that at some point too...

i guess fakir is the one who styles his hair for him before mytho gets his heart back? i imagine fakir is pretty meticulous about maintaining mythos health and appearance, even at the worst stages of their relationship. i think itd be hard for fakir to frame the way he treats mytho as For Mythos Sake if he wasnt doing some level of actually beneficial care for him, so being really fastidious about things like mythos diet and sleep hygiene and hair care and such gives fakir an outlet for his 'you just have to do what i tell you' thing that helps him convince himself it really is helping, no really, hes doing this for mythos benefit and he just has to be strict with him because mytho doesnt UNDERSTAND he needs PROTECTING and fakir is the ONLY ONE who can do it so mytho HAS to let him because if he doesnt then why does fakir even EXIST, if he cant manage this then what is he good for, and--

yknow. the usual complexes. and their relationship is so complex!!! but also so simple, but like. in a good way. fakirs behavior is complicated but his motivation regarding mytho is SO straightforward which makes that downward spiral into harm really easy to map out... i wont go much into that in this post since this is about visual/appearance-related headcanons but just. augh. i love this show and i love these characters!!! and i hope its apparent in my work that i do love them so <3

im hoping to do a set of these for the girls next!!! i have some other stuff to finish first but hopefully... Soon... Some Birds...

[olderthannetfic]

To the NLOG anon:

I had written a long piece but lost it, so the gist of it is that bullies are social chameleons. They will always try to find a way to get away with bullying while claiming to be the victims. And many of the "bad" NLOGs were girls looking for ways to recreate the status quo with them at the top instead.

I think that NLOGs were a natural result of the post 9/11 conservative paranoia of "anyone who is not a good American™ is a Satanic Menace to Society" (where good American meant white, christian, affluent, thin, conventionally attractive, straight...and everybody else, from foreigners, fat people, anyone gender non conforming or even alternative people were "planning the downfall of civilization"). In that climate, harassment towards "the weird" was not only tolerated but encouraged as the moral thing to do.

And the thing is, if you are ostracized from society but discouraged to learn about feminism and such, then it's no wonder that your only way of defending yourself is by using the same attacks used against you!

The big change here I think came with the recession where suddenly society became fascinated with the weird, and being a hipster or a nerdy girl was "acceptable" (hence the "golden years" of Tumblr). Many of the bullies who had gained notoriety thanks to their privilege suddenly realised they couldn't get away with it as talk about discrimination and feminism was becoming more commonplace, and so many people adopted NLOG looks and attitudes to keep doing society approved bullying.

Nowadays tho you don't see many NLOGs because, like you said, we either know better now and have deconstructed ourselves or simply because in this era of "bring back bullying" most people don't need to hide behind underprivileged people to harass someone. If they want to hate on other women they can just become a tradwife/high value woman and go back to the conservative politics of the 2000s or they can pick a bit of #girlbossfeminism while going back to their hyper feminine roots to claim *throws dice* that you have to like pink or you have internalised misogyny and that you should just try to fit into the mold, for your own good, you know.

So yeah, those who want to oppress will find a way to do so under any costume, while being the loudest and sidelining the rest of us. There's nothing to do about it, unfortunately :(

--

I mean... sure...

But the actual phrase "not like the other girls" rose to prominence to point out how fucking obnoxious a class of book is for its heroine who is always like "I don't want to stay home and do needlework!" and then the book is set in some era when rich ladies are supposed to be running an entire manor house or something, not just embroider, and the author has blatantly missed all of that. Or it's some Anita Blake bullshit where the heroine hates literally every other woman, and especially all of them with blond hair because the author is insecure and bugfuck nuts.

It's a specific dumb trope in fiction and term in criticism of that dumb trope.

[ohno-the-sun]

Guess what? >:D I didn't realised that you updated the luca fic since last time I visited, sooo... here we go :3

‘Wh– bah! Where are you going?’

I love how he unconsciously switched to "mind communication" ♡♡

Precious baby

‘You were trying to drown me!’

Oh you sweet, innocent baby you!🥺🥺🥺🥺

I also like how Moon was like "I will kill this bi-" and then after he actually arrived, he was all worry, and no anger "shit, this dumbass will kill himself. I will cure him. I should help."

Love the paralell, that Moon hates his human form and disgusted by it, meanwhile Sun do the same for his siren form.🥺🥺🥺 my poor babies. They need someone to tell them, both is ok.

‘I don’t think being a siren is an infection. It sucks sometimes–’

😭😭😭😭😭my babyyy. He is so pure. They are both so pure. Moon got some answers Sun slipped...he wants to relate to him. And he is so concerned about Sun's well being😭😭🥺🥺

There is so much they have to talk about.

But in the same time, I can imagine Bright pacing in the kitchen. Hearing this strange noises and warbling as they speak with eachother😭😭 I am so glad this communication is mind-bounded, because if Bright hears any of this out of context...

“Hey Sun are you guys done in here ‘cause I have to get dressed and–”

Oh no.... here we go...

–"only to notice the very obvious fact that I was stuck in the bathtub– as a siren– who couldn’t talk."

Oooooooooooooh :000

Now I feel dumb. I thought they could speak still human too, but chose not to.

“I’m naked"

The laugh I just let out😂😂😂😭😭😭😭 Oh nuuuu😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

‘I mean yeah– we need to suck it to breathe.

Ba dam css! 🥁😂😂

I love their banters♡

‘What’s family for?’

😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺♡ the way I melted🥺🥺🥺🥺

I imagine Bright watching Moon walk out without a word, like "wtf??? Where is my partner, what did you do to himmm!! >:(" and then wanting to give Sun a bit time to recover (which gives Sun time to soak in the water and get dry)

I am still interested tho how Moon got there :3 ... did he... really stole a car? He knows how to drive??

-----------------------------------------

(Next chapter)

"Sun had suggested taking the car to the bank, but considering it was just a block down the road, I figured walking was better"

Oh no😰😰😰

Oh ok. Sun is smart about it. Or as smart as he can be without saying no to Bright ^^

"Alright, Mr. Fredrickson..."

Frederick??👀👀

Freddy??

Freddy got a new job?

Or this is a reference for another freddy👀👀

Not the glamrock one?👀👀

"My heart sank at the thought. Maybe I had been too pushy asking about Moon? Or maybe I was being annoying, or maybe he didn’t love me anymore–"

No no no Bright😭😭😭 don't internalise it!!! It is not your fault darling🥺🥺 this is not a healty for you...

"But before he could, a horn blared as a giant truck rushed past us. A wave of dirty street water filled my vision."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

IT IS HAPPENING.... khm... I mean its very sad :(

....AAAAAAAAAAAA >:D

-_-

Nevermind...

You got me good...

With the glasses...

You! >:( /pos

“Sun I am not in the mood for a performance right now. Could you please just use your words and help me dry my glasses?”

Oh dear... if he could, he would have done so🥺

"The rest of the evening was spent ordering out dinner and watching an old sitcom on the television. We laughed and joked into the night."

This is the dream :,) ♡ man... what I would give for such a peaceful night...

It’s fine.

I’m fine.

I’m Sun.

Her Sunshine.There’s no rain on sunny days.

AAA😭😭😭😭😭 DON'T MIND ME!!!

just bawling my eyes out😭😭😭😭

I, as a doctor, prescribe Sun a platonic cuddle session with Bright🥺

Waaaa entyter aaaawawaaawa!!

I always love your thoughts you noticed so many little detail ough waa im so happy!!

[justasussybitch]

Picturing LFL au where Luke did manage to escape with Shiera that day. Imagining Luke offering to inter Aemond on driftmark rather then have him killed.

Everyone thinking it’s some weird guilt thing or a devotion to the seven he must’ve found in captivity (obviously no one knows the extent and assumes most rumours spread by mushroom are obviously false (side note George making the drunken lecher having more truths versus the oh so pious Septon Eustace is something I can 100% see)).

Luke just enjoys having the say of whatever Aemond eats or wears. The fact that he’s the only person who can decide if the terror of the riverlands lives or dies is something he probably thinks of whenever he’s having some trouble with sexual intimacy ( though no one would know about the extent to his occasional internal struggles with his past not even Rhaena). anytime he remembers his abuse that’s only been shared with (maybe Rhaena??) ,Jace or Daemon (who would have a bit more of an idea of war time practices in Westeros) he remembers that he has Aemond in his hands not the other way around.

Balancing never seeming weak again and being this loving brother/son/heir that once came so easy to him. Then him and Rhaena having her six daughters like canon (for Rhaena) and him making the eldest heir like he fought for but always in the back of his mind that men are not safe from other men in war time but especially not women. Just whole other bucket of trauma for him to deal with. Especially after he started praying to primarily female deity figures during his own s/a and captivity.

Probably spoilers if anyone has ever read my own fic but I quite enjoy Luke claiming Cannibal trope (now a trope, at the time I started publishing my fic in October 2022 there was crumbs to eat but thankfully we’re feasting now as lucemonders!!). Arrax being this pearlescent dragon who was swift and growing every year symbolising Luke himself growing from this unsure boy into someday maybe someone more sure of himself then claiming cannibal a dragon rumoured to be strange enough to devour its own kind, pitch black and monsterously older than the Iron throne itself. Just a very silly and lazy way for me to bring this visual of loss of innocence tho I defend myself in my mind that GRRM probs wanted Arrax to evoke that when he made him Pearl white with golden chest to die when he was 13 along with Luke.

Not even getting into the fun interactions with Aemond. Maybe Luke is still keeping this love act up for some fucked reason in his head and has Aemond convinced he’s alive out of love. Or if history changes yet again and Aemond has the injuries of Rooks Rest instead of Aegon (like the rumours his dick broke) after the war kicks off later, how Luke would manipulate his way into topping him (the thing he’ll think will “cure him” of his nightmares and traumas. Not how that works bookie but I understand even being raised by a polycule in this time would not save him from the patriarchys nonsense lol)

Even better him visiting winterfell with Jace and stumbling upon his brother and Cregan and watching their interactions (Cregans fucking Jace’s “cunt” and still sees him as a man??? Talks about loving Jace’s cock despite being the “man” in their relationship) just completely breaking apart his ideas of what he’s internalised m/m relationships being.

I wouldn’t change a thing of LFLEFE of course, it’s perfection. it’s always fun to read someone’s work and wonder of the “what ifs” (which is what I do between chapters of fanfiction too as you’ve seen from my delirious asks before lol) and how the characters would shift and change when the butterflies wings change to a different direction.

At that point in the story Aemond has already planted this cruelty in Luke (not in general, we see him freely empathise with people even when not knowing them like the servants entering the chambers after shieras death) that Luke has to foster against Aemond in his mind to survive the ordeal. It’s a coping mechanism for him that allows him to continue the charade. The satisfaction of tricking Aemond is probably what kept him alive through much of the uncertainty.

A scene of the new show Mary & George where the main character who usually tops bottoming with his enemy after (falsely) professing love just to fuck with his mind and get one final “I’m the one who won here. Go fuck yourself” literally gave me this vibe and I don’t know where it could possible fit in this “au” lol. Luke taking back his own asshole in a way idk that’s so silly hahah

Luke taking his own feelings of self loathing and low self esteem and sharpening them into a weapon to use against Aemond? Art, chefs kiss!

Sorry this got so long I was inbetween tasks and kept forgetting how long it was 🤣

some very mild spoilers for the themes/arcs i have planned for the series

a friend had already recommended Mary & George to me, but this definitely confirms i need to watch it also, 100% get it. i constantly have to restrain myself from writing canon divergence fic of my canon divergence fic. to the point that, if i do manage to finish the series in a reasonable time frame, i may very well cave and do just that. (personally, i like to think that if Shiera lived, she would have become a sailor). tbh if anyone, for whatever reason, wrote a 'what if' fic based on any fic of mine... well, i think that's kind of the highest honour a fic writer could receive, isn't it? so it's a practice i fully endorse.

westerosi gender is 100% something i want to explore/am exploring in this series. especially in relation to sexual violence being so gendered in the setting, to the point that being raped is almost feminising in the eyes of many of the characters. lfleye!Luke 100% identifies as and will continue to identify as a man in the series. but his experiences now means he identifies *with* women far more. as you've noted, Luke is a very empathetic character. while not many characters will acknowledge it in-universe, Luke is extremely strong as a character, and thats proven with how his experiences have increased his empathy rather than diminished it. it's so tempting to be 'strong' after being 'weak' by inflicting abuse on others and exploiting whatever societal power you have, especially in a setting like Westeros. but a really big part of Luke's arc is going to be to a refusal to do that, and to continue to identify with the abused (women, lowborn, etc). (some of my interest in Theon as a character actually comes from a similar place)

this is a roundabout way to say that, yes, if he had six daughters he would be Stressed. but those six daughters would be very, very lucky.

at the same time. lucemond in this series is Toxic. with a capital T. and i'm not going to let Aemond have all the fun with that. if Luke ended up in the role of captor, it would be delicious. because he would 100% find comfort and satisfaction in asserting control over Aemond, even as he felt shame for it. or, alternatively, felt shame for *not* feeling shame for it.

and oh. oh boy. Luke being confronted with an actual heathy (for hotd) m/m relationship, not just in the abstract of Laenor but in the this-is-happening-right-now-in-front-of-me of his brother, would also be an experience for him. probably one he needs. in general, Luke is definitely going to try and get a better understanding of sexuality, and his sexuality specifically, in the next fic. whether he succeeds...

and Cannibal!!!! gods, i adore Cannibal. i do remember him being kind of unpopular, at least among some of the more active fan creators, but i saw this analysis about how he represents the dance--black scales, green eyes, eats his own kind, disappears at the end--and i've been obsessed ever since. he's definitely going to make an appearance so he can bring that symbolism (amongst others) to the table, whether Luke claims him or not. (i decided in 2022 whether Luke was going to claim a second dragon or not, and if yes then who, and while it is foreshadowed in the fic, and in some of the comments, i'll at least pretend i'm maintaining the mystery). what's the name of your fic? bc i would love to read some Luke & Cannibal.

[lollytea]

you talking about all of your different hunlow aus got me thinking:

hsm au

Believe me I have TRIED! I have tried so hard but I can't make it work. Troy and Gabriella are just so boring to me. And no matter how hard I think about it I can't slot Hunter and Willow into their positions in a way that makes sense in my brain. It feels so unnatural. Their characterization doesn't align in that perfect way that I like. There's only like slight snippets of similarities to work with.

The thing about Hunter is that it feels weird putting him into lighthearted high school AUs because he doesn't feel like Hunter to me unless he was raised by some fucked up cult. And it's very hard to find wiggle room for "Oh by the way this character was raised by a cult" in the HSM universe.

I think Willow, in a human AU, WOULD play basketball tho. So would Hunter. But he would not be encouraged to do so by his parental figure. Also I personally don't imagine either of them can sing. Willow, maybe, but she can't belt out a note that's gonna land her the lead in the school musical. Hunter is a theater kid to me but not the type who can sing.

Gustho HSM AU on the other hand....

We have a math prodigy with an unrealized interest in the performing arts. We have a very short but very talented basketball player who was bullied at his old school and is relieved to finally be popular and appreciated. Issac Ryan Brown and Jorge Diaz are both talented singers. Something about internalised homophobia?? I don't know!! I DONT KNOW!!!

Imagine Troy and Gabriella but they're gay and they're more interesting this time

[starrylayle]

marauders v.s. slytherin skittles (ft. the valkyries + snape)

With the rise of the 'slytherin skittles' in the fandom (even tho half of them are in ravenclaw but whatevs) -- I've been trying to figure out why I don't like it, despite enjoying the dynamics presented. And I think I've finally figured out why.

It all goes back to the Sirius / Regulus dynamic. I feel like their relationship is depicted as angsty and such but I love it when they are estranged. Yes, they're brothers and they go to the same school, but they are worlds apart. And i like when their friend groups and dynamics reflect that. Regulus, who's stayed with his family and supports their causes (yes I know he gets redeemed eventually but boy used to worship voldy) -- has access to the high pure-blood society and its perks. But one thing he does not have, is the friendship his brother shares with his mates. Reg tells himself that he doesn't care, that he doesn't envy his brother and his friends, but it is one of the things being in this pureblood fascism cult can't offer -- true friendship. That's why, despite my issues with 'choices' by messermoon, I really like how they depicted the dynamic between Regulus and his friends -- like yes Reg had friends but not in the same way Sirius had. And it adds a layer to the loneliness Reg feels, which i feel is a core part of his character. He's surrounded by people that on the outside my appear as friends, but really he's just very lonely.

On another note, i hc both brothers as gay, and love the differences in how they would be presented. Sirius, after finally getting over his internalised homophobia, is free to love and make out with whomever he wants. While Reg, aware of this part of himself hates it, and denies himself this luxury, only getting off (with barty, mayhaps, who is in a similar position) every now and then. Maybe he also has a burning desire for James (if ur into jegulus) but he doesn't ever do anything abt it, coz he feels like he can't.

As for Dorcas Meadows, I picture her in the year above the marauders (so two years above Reg) and not really having any friends at all. Not because she can't make any, but because she simply doesn't want to (my characterisation of her is heavily inspired by rollercoasterwords' version of her in 'the hand that feeds'. She ofc grows close to marlene when they start dating but never really gets close to marlene's other friends. She may or may not have a begrudging relationship with Pandora tho (but only because she provides her weed ofc!!) .

In a way, I kind of like when the houses represent certain themes, like gryffindor v.s. slytherin, freedom v.s tradition, friends v.s. 'co-workers'. Yes i know the fandom likes to depict the houses as more of a personality based system -- which i'm sure that's why jkr intended -- but really i think the houses represent more of values and beliefs. (Which is also why i think the houses should have been destroyed, united or changed at the end of HP DH coz the status quo as it is, is not healthy, but i digress).

Oh and as for the valkyries -- have nothing against their friendship. Lily deserves to have her own set of friends besides James and snape. just think they wouldn't give themselves a name like the marauders did coz they think its cringe, but I can see it coming up and them immediately shutting it down out of embarrassment.

i think this an analysis of snape and his relationship with lily compared to the other slytherins would be interesting as well, and how the interactions and dynamics differ. And canonically, snape and regulus would make more sense than reg and dorcas so if anything snape should be a part of these 'slytherin skittles' lmaoo.

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

something ig is a bit of a hot take (maybe not on twt tho) is the whole people speculating about dan’s gender. it all just feels a bit off because i sort of think of it as his whole sexuality journey and how people were so onto him. he has said that he is comfortable as a man but obviously if that were to change it would be fine and we would be accepting.

as well as saying phil is autistic or neurodivergent based on some behaviours and videos. he has not stated it so we don’t know but if he came out and said he was it would all be fine. i just feel weird about the whole speculating aspect of it.

It's fine to not want to engage with particular kinds of fandom activities, you can always curate your experience so that you don't see people posting that

It's odd that you throw this at me though, who has a whole autism tag for keeping track of these instances where Phil does things that make autistic me feel represented

No one is pressuring them, no one is tagging them, this is just what marginalised people are Like when we see kindred spirits and go all Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme at them. We aren't trying to get personal info from them, nor are we trying to spread misinformation about them. It is something of interest to me though that when people try to shut down speculation because 'we shouldn't assume', they don't realise that you are taking being cis and being allistic and otherwise neurotypical as the 'normal' there. "They haven't said they are trans so you should assume they are cis" "They haven't said they're gay so we shouldn't assume they are" what should we assume in these scenarios? That they are the 'normal thing to be'? Because people are hardly ever uncomfortable about speculation when it's shit like 'maybe they like cats more than dogs' 'do you think this celebrity is gonna marry his girlfriend this year? I think he is' etc etc it's somehow always only when marginalised people are like 'ooh I really relate to those experiences and went through that phase of discovery, wonder if they are also a part of this group' that people start being uncomfortable. Which is like. Honestly, genuinely, betraying some internalised queerphobia and ableism.

If you have your reasons for it good for you, yk, you can learn to make it so you don't see shit that makes you uncomfortable. It's just v weird to go to marginalised people of that group to say 'hey it made me uncomfortable that you even suggested that someone might be like you'. Yeah we know, we hear that like. All the time. Lol.

This askbwasn't worded very hostile so I'm taking in good faith and assuming you just didn't think about it this way before, so like. Anon if you see this please do a bit of introspection about this. We are tired of having our identities treated like they're radioactive

[heavenangelly]

hi my love! hope ur doing okay!

i have a couple of questions, pls go easy on me :)

  im so scared of applying the law. ive had soo many success stories before but ive been trying to manifest 2 things for few months and kept failing, studied neville and realised it was bc i wasnt "being" it, i have all the right info but im scared ill apply and fail even tho its impossible be ill already be the person who has it. do u have any advice for that?

  "you are already that what you wish to be quote by neville, he means that infinite realities exist within us so we just choose ? could u explain that quote?

  how do you "be" it in imagination? how to identify with it? how do you shift states in the 4d? how do i occupy a state?

i have adhd so its really hard for me to focus and shift states, do u have any advice for that :(

  how can i stop feeling scared of the 3d, im scared ill change self but the 3d won't change, i tell myself its a mirror but i can't believe

  how can i feel like the operant power of my reality? so many things have happened that i didn't imagine but what i imagined didn't get reflected which makes me feel so skeptical

thank u so much, u are so wonderful. i cannot wait for ur response

Hey! I’m doing good, thanks for asking!

1. I’d suggest just doing it. The fear is going to stay there unless you conquer it and just get over it and decide to manifest what you want. Just take the leap of faith and get over your fears because just imagine how wonderful your life will be with your desires. Do it scared and eventually that feeling will melt away

2. The correct quote is, “You are already that which you wish to be, and your refusal to believe it is the only reason you do not see it.” He says this with the context of the 3d and 4d. “You are already that which you wish to be” is when you accept in imagination and instantly are and “you’re refusal to believe it is the only reason you don’t see it” is when you take the 3d into account and accept the 3d instead of imagination.

3. You’re always in a state. States pass by like lightning. One moment you’re in the state of happiness and the next you’re in the state of sadness. States are just deciding you want to feel a different type of way. In this case, it would be knowing your desires are yours. So you’d get into the wish fulfilled by deciding your desires are yours and feeling the truth of that. You can be it in imagination by shifting your awareness to having/being your desire in imagination and disregarding the old awareness

4. As stated above, states are incredibly easy to get into. You just shift your feelings/decide you are in one. And as for the adhd, you can just know your desires are yours for a fleeting moment and then get distracted again and that okay, but whenever you think about it just fulfil yourself again

5. You just have to internalise that fact. That’s what the law is. Your assumptions must become a reality. The 3ds only job is to reflect imagination so it literally cannot not change.

6. Practice using the law everyday and building up that belief in yourself