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accirax · 9 months ago

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DRDT Secret Swap AU: For Better and Worse

The following is an ask sent to me that, while numerically present in my inbox, is invisible and inaccessible, and thus, I was only able to read it through its corresponding notification email. Tumblr be a functional website challenge; level impossible.

What a great question! Up to this point, I’ve been more of an AU enjoyer than an AU creator (other than the BNHA thing), so this will be an exciting foray into the realm of possibility! The task of creating both the best and worst outcome also provides a lot to think about when it comes to characterization. I’m excited to get talking about this! But first, some rules.

(And the usual CW for DRDT spoilers, as well as mentions of murder, suicide, self harm, eating disorders, and implied homo/transphobia. You know, standard business for DRDT secret discussion.)

To keep things simple, I’m going to be assuming that the true owners of the secrets are as follows:

While I’m by no means asserting that this interpretation of whose secret is whose is 100% accurate, it’s what I see widely agreed upon by the fandom, and what I currently believe myself. Having to factor in a bunch of different permutations of secret distribution seemed terribly complicated, so I decided to avoid it. If anybody disagrees with where I’ve placed any of the secrets, please just consider it as another facet of the alternate universe.

Additionally, I’ve kept up the “rule” that no one is allowed to receive their own secret. I’m also assuming that everything is the same up until when MonoTV hands out the motives, such that Xander and Min are still dead. However, a different distribution of secrets could have changed the details of the Chapter 2 murder, so I kinda have to speak about it in hypotheticals. I was just talking about how I didn’t want to make things needlessly complicated, so I’m not throwing in a bunch of speculation about how the secrets may have factored into the AU killer’s motives when I can’t even say for certain who the canonical killer was.

I also decided to interpret the prompt as “what’s the best/worst overall shuffle” as opposed to “who is the best/worst recipient for each individual secret.” The latter seemed like it might repeat characters too many times, and “the ch2 secrets [getting] swapped in a different way” implied to me that each character was still limited to receiving one secret. Hopefully that’s what you were going for with your ask!

Okay, I think that’s it. Let’s get started with the best case scenario, given that I think that’ll be easier. I’ll go through the characters’ secrets in the order they’re listed in on the board, so that it’ll hopefully be easier to follow along.

The Good Timeline

Eden receives Levi’s secret

If someone was going to have remorse for the remorseless killer, I think it would be Eden. Even if the concept of someone killing in cold blood might frighten Eden, the pair is already off to a good start with the conversation they shared at the beginning of Chapter 2. Eden knows a bit more about Levi’s family situation (which may have been the cause of his callous killing) and how he is trying to be a good person, even if he feels like he might be failing. Compared to others in the cast, I feel like Eden might be more willing to hear Levi out.

Specifically, we know from canon that (under David’s encouragement, at least) Eden planned to share her secret– which was a pretty severe one already– in a closed environment with just her and the secret’s owner. Of course, we haven’t yet seen from canon how Levi would react to getting assigned this secret, so it’s possible he could flip out in a similar manner to how Arturo did when Eden confronted him. However, I think there’s a good chance that he would be more resigned or neutral, which might also give Eden hope that he isn’t a lost cause… again, under the assumption that he isn't. This secret does have a chance of backfiring, but I’m making the choice to have faith in Levi– much like I think Eden would if she saw his secret!

Nico receives David’s secret

Now this is kind of an unconventional one, but, hear me out.

I don’t know if there really is a “good option” for David’s secret in the sense that I think anyone who would choose to reveal the information to the group would be the type to do so in an accusatory, non-constructive way. Similarly, a lot of people who wouldn’t reveal the secret might face problems if it caused them to quietly simmer in their distrust. That suppression of emotions could lead to a big blow up in the future.

Because of that, you might be wondering why I didn’t assign this secret to one of my throwaway slots– namely, Xander, Min, or Rose. Well, it’s because I also wanted to consider what would happen if, even in this good universe, some number of students still needed to attend a Class Trial where the secrets are unknown. Certain secrets, if left unassigned, would lead to paranoia and distrust amongst the students. And, by throwing this secret away, this secret could basically never be confirmed as David’s other than by process of elimination or (highly unlikely) self-assignment. Therefore, all of the students would have to assume that anyone whose secret isn't known has a decent chance of believing that everyone exists to be manipulated. In my opinion, that would make productively discussing a murder really difficult.

So, I decided that the best course of action would be to give this secret to the person who would make the smallest deal out of it, and that turned out to be Nico. Nico already believes that socially interacting with other humans is a complicated and confusing process, the rules of which force you into expressing yourself in a specific, “acceptable” way. Basically, I think that Nico might already see a lot of conversation as manipulation, and themselves as the manipulee. The secret says that David is really good at interpreting those rules and acing the bullet points of “acceptable” conversation? No shit, he’s the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker.

I’m not trying to say that Nico is “dumb” enough to not realize that this secret is generally threatening, but I think that, if word of it were to come out, Nico would present it in a subdued enough manner that it wouldn’t make things worse than they need to be.

Hu receives Ace’s secret

Oh boy, this is a dangerous choice given Ace and Hu’s tumultuous relationship. Although, to be fair, I don’t remember exactly how established that rivalry was prior to the distribution of the canonical secrets. To the extent that they didn’t already hate each other to the point of no return, I chose this one because I think that Hu having the context of Ace’s secret might actually help to mend their relationship.

As I said up top, this AU is predicated on Hu having the “hopeless child” secret. Thus, in this AU, we can say for certain that Hu has a prior history of self harm/self destructive tendencies. If hopeless child Hu does turn out to be canon, it would support the theory that part of the reason why Hu won’t share the “harm yourself for fun” secret is because she knows that mental health is a sensitive subject, and doesn’t want to force someone to open up about it. Given that eating disorders are a form of self harm, we can rest assured that this isn’t a secret Hu would share, no matter how much David suggests that she does.

Given Hu’s history, she might be one of the people in this cast who could best understand Ace’s plight. With this additional context, his quest for power over something in his life might feel more sympathetic, and Hu might be able to muster more concern for him. And, I’m not gonna lie, part of this assignment was granted in the slim hope that the Ultimate Mom Friend Hu would be able to make a big grandma-style meal for Ace to enjoy. They could be an improbably wholesome duo if not for… The Circumstances.

Those circumstances won’t fade anytime soon in canon, but exploring hypotheticals like this are the whole reason why AUs exist!

J receives Eden’s secret

Compared to everyone else, Eden’s secret is a pretty nonthreatening one that, especially among this pretty queer cast, shouldn’t raise a whole lot of issues. The biggest problem I can see arising from it is if someone decided to out Eden, sort of like what happened to Nico. Therefore, I wanted to give Eden’s secret to someone who would be unlikely to share it without Eden giving the okay. And, J seemed to fit that description pretty well.

Obviously, some of J’s canon behavior was spurred on by the fact that Arturo non-consensually revealed her secret (which, spoilers, will not be happening in the blessed half of this AU). But, given J’s preference for privacy, I don’t think J would jump to sharing even a “harmless” secret. We directly saw that J only revealed Charles’ secret once he gave express permission for her to do so, which is what I would ideally want for Eden. Eden’s secret being given to a girl who would presumably be cool with her lesbianism is an added bonus to assuage her fears that (straight) girls who know she’s gay wouldn’t want to be her friend.

Unless, of course, J is also a girlkisser… then maybe the motive secrets could turn into a meet-cute…….. (/j)

Rose receives J’s secret

Finally, our first throwaway slot. After what J’s been through, I think she deserves to have her secret not be a topic of discussion at all– or at least not until all of them are listed out on the board.

There is also some logic behind which secret I gave to Rose as opposed to Xander or Min. We didn’t really see this in canon, but if Whit had let his secret go unclaimed, I could see some people being mad at Rose for inadvertently throwing away valuable information. This sentiment would only increase if Rose’s secret was something more relevant to the case at hand. Like, could you imagine how mad Teruko would have been if Rose had received the “murderer without remorse” secret? They could have had the answer to which person among them was a murderer without remorse, but Rose just carelessly threw it away because she was worried about people’s privacy?!

Therefore, I think the best case scenario for Rose is to receive one of the low-stakes secrets. In the case of J’s secret, it’s possible that someone like Arturo would be able to figure out that it was J’s secret without any confirmation from Rose as long as he had the information that someone in the cast was Mariabella’s daughter. No harm, no foul if Rose throws out the secret only for it to be instantly solvable anyway.

By giving J’s secret to Rose, J gets the blessing of privacy for as long as the secrets don’t become public knowledge, but Rose also doesn’t garner any backlash if they do, for one reason or another.

“Xander” receives Arei’s secret

Just to clarify, there isn’t any meaning behind which secret Xander vs Min got; they both just mean that the secret is un-confirmable.

Arei’s secret is a good one to bury because of how easily it can be misinterpreted. From the phrasing of the secret, nobody would know that Arei’s sisters abused her unless Arei told them herself, and without that context, Arei appears quite villainous. Hell, some people believe that learning of this secret was a reason why Levi would have chosen to kill Arei! If this information about Arei just isn’t out there to be known, then nobody could make that fatal oversight.

Also, Arei already knew what the vague contents of her secret would be, presumably without having seen the actual text. In Ace’s flashback, she quotes David’s secret from memory (because she read it), but when she unveils her own secret, she throws in the detail about reform school which isn’t at all present in the secret’s text. I think it was really important for Arei’s development that she had the agency to reveal her secret at her own pace. By making her secret inaccessible, it removes the possibility that someone else would reveal it before she’s emotionally ready.

Arturo receives Min’s secret

Look at me, pairing Arturo and Min together yet again. What is it about these two that causes me to keep coupling them…? Well, at least this time, they’re paired up because they, like, never talk in canon.

Arturo has proven himself to be a problem when it comes to revealing secrets. Even if he hadn’t been handed Miss Rosales’ dirty laundry, I would believe that he would air out the secrets of whichever nobody he learned about simply due to disrespect. Therefore, I think that giving Arturo a secret that really doesn’t matter is the best course of action. Whether he reveals it on the day the motives were distributed or the day of the Class Trial, most people probably wouldn’t make much of a fuss about an already-dead student’s secret, least of all Arturo. If he doesn’t care about what Min was up to, he wouldn’t stir up any drama by revealing or concealing information.

David receives Xander’s secret

Not gonna lie, I mostly gave this one to David as a form of damage control. I don’t know what he’s going to do with the secret he did canonically receive in the future– whether it belongs to Teruko or someone else, or whether he’s dying immediately or in it for the long haul– but giving David the silver bullet of “the killing game is all your fault” seems like way too much power to hand over. With a dead student’s secret, he doesn’t gain much by telling the truth or have much of a basis to execute a good lie.

The elephant in the room, of course, is that David received Xander’s secret, which is all about the tragically heroic backstory that probably led him to find comfort in David’s speeches in the first place. (And it does paint Xander in a decently positive light– “it wasn’t your fault” erases the possibility that Xander killed his family or whatever.) I imagine that, had David received this secret on the first day, basically a little buffering symbol would appear over his head and he would have to go lie down and stare at the piece of paper for a few hours. Or days.

By distracting David, we can hopefully avoid any of the decidedly negative side effects that him attempting to deduce and reveal everyone else’s secrets caused. While everyone else is growing as a person and whatnot, David can just be… looping the Literature Girl Insane MV in his head, or something. Is that really good for him? Probably not, but these are the heights you can reach when you set out to cause problems.

Arei receives Whit’s secret

Arei already didn’t reveal whose secret she had to anyone, as far as we know. So, if she had the secret belonging to Whit, arguably her closest friend at the start of Chapter 2, I really don’t think she would say anything. That’s good for Whit, because, similar to what I said about Arei herself, I think it’s better for him to have the ability to come forth with his secret when the time is right. Anything else and it might shake up his persona too suddenly and send him fight or flight mode.

I think the biggest potential flaw here is that we don’t know how Arei felt about her mom. Arei is willing to go confront other people about their secrets, so if Arei either really loved or really hated her mom, maybe that would lead her to go confront Whit about what his secret meant. And then, that could lead into him deflecting and looking shady.

That’s not really a huge liability to me, though, so I think this one will be fine.

Veronika receives Charles’ secret

Veronika is a weird case, because whether or not she reveals a secret seems to be based solely on entertainment value. In canon, we’ve seen that she hasn’t yet revealed the “hopeless child” secret because, for whatever reasons, she thinks that’ll make the killing game more interesting. But presumably, if she thought that revealing someone’s secret would make the game more interesting instead, she would have done that.

Because Charles doesn’t remember his brother’s death himself, I don’t think Veronika would see much value in holding it over his head, saving it for a dramatic reaction down the road, or whatever the hell she was trying to accomplish by not revealing Hu’s secret. Therefore, I think Veronika would find it most entertaining to see Charles’ reaction to learning about his amnesia, and tell him pretty quickly.

On the surface, that seems bad. However, I actually think that Charles learning about his secret is… for the best? If you assume that Charles is going to have to learn about this factoid someday, it’s probably better for him if he does it before a Class Trial is called, so that he can be in a more stable mental state. It’s also better for him to do it while he has Whit there to support him, and who knows what could happen between those two in future chapters? Much like Arturo’s assignment, we defuse Veronika’s chaotic power with this one, with the added benefit of potentially helping Charles on his journey to self-understanding.

Levi receives Arturo’s secret

Arturo’s secret was a hard one, because I think most people would react to it pretty negatively, especially with the confirmation that it belongs to Arturo of all people from the start. You could leave it with Eden as someone who seemingly didn’t judge, but given how poorly that situation played out in canon, it felt wrong to leave it in her hands.

Therefore, I gave it to someone who could potentially relate: Levi. He, too, came from a tense family background which he had to leave, and as such, he might better be able to put himself in Arturo’s shoes. While it is possible that Levi could resent Arturo for “ruining” a “good(?)” relationship with his sister (given how Levi struggled to coexist with his siblings), I don’t think it would irk Levi so much that he’d take drastic action against Arturo.

At the very least, we saw that Levi didn’t spill the beans about Arei’s similarly anti-sister secret. By that logic, he probably wouldn’t tell anyone about it, possibly including Arturo. In that case, we avoid Arturo blowing up on whoever was unlucky enough to have to break the news. And, even if Levi did tell Arturo, and Arturo decided to attack, I trust that even an injured Levi could defend himself far better than Eden could.

Ace receives Veronika’s secret

I just don’t think anything particularly bad would happen here. When I imagine Ace receiving this secret, I kinda just think of him going, “what the fuck?!”, and then putting the paper away. As someone who cares immensely about his own safety and image, I can definitely see this secret confusing Ace, but I don’t think to a point where it would really mess him up. It might make him think that Veronika is dangerous and weird, but… well, he already thought that.

Speaking of, especially with this information, Ace is too afraid of Veronika to try to bully her in the same way that he did with Nico. I don’t see any reason why Ace would benefit from revealing this secret, so it would likely remain hidden, which is probably for the best. Honestly, I don’t know if Veronika would care if this secret of hers got out, given that the main reason why people think this is hers is because of the similar sentiments that she already shared with Teruko in a public location. But, regardless, it takes away any ammo Ace might have by making his only target someone who he’s too afraid to take shots at.

Teruko receives Hu’s secret

Completing our little triad of sadness, this is the third instance of me giving a secret involving self harm to someone else who engages in self destructive practices– first Hu with Ace, then Ace with Veronika, and now Teruko with Hu. It obviously sucks that there are so many people in this cast who are struggling with this same issue, but I think it works out well to have them overlap. They’re probably the ones who best grasp the severity of each other’s problems, so they understand the gravity of sharing the information and would take steps to avoid doing that unnecessarily.

But, yeah, there wasn’t much of a reason beyond that for me to assign Teruko here. As a further extrapolation of the above point, though, if Teruko decided to ask Hu about her secret in the same way that she did with Rose, maybe Teruko could provide Hu some comfort about the situation and they could become friends.

Although, thinking about it more, that would actually have a decent chance of backfiring, as Hu might not appreciate having to take on the role of the helped as opposed to the helper, and Teruko might freak out if she felt herself letting her walls down around Hu. But that’s only if Teruko chose to talk to her about it, which is dubious in the first place. I don’t think Teruko would intentionally use this as any sort of weapon against Hu, which is the main criteria I was looking for.

Charles receives Rose’s secret

More unproblematic people being unproblematic. I don’t know if anything weird would happen as Charles’ upper-class upbringing came into contact with Rose’s cash-strapped past, but if it did, it would probably be a positive development for Charles. Y’know, like “realizing that it’s not only wealthy academics who can have talent” or “further learning to recognize his privilege and have sympathy for other people.” Much like what Charles canonically did with Eden’s secret, this one would probably go under the public radar until a Class Trial occurred, at which point Charles would reveal it. And, hey, that’s kind of like Rose’s secret’s canonical fate as well.

I also don’t think that we’d run into any trouble with Teruko possibly learning this one from the note that Charles passed her either, because… again, this was Teruko’s canonical secret, and nothing bad happened. Sometimes no reaction is the sweetest reaction of all.

Whit receives Nico’s secret

Yup, like you implied, Whit receiving Nico’s secret would probably be one of the best options for them. It’s not too much of a surprise. Whit seems to be a pretty securely out bi guy, so he would obviously support of Nico’s identity, and possibly even be someone Nico could look up to for being confident in who they are. On top of that, Whit greatly values privacy, and thus wouldn’t go around immediately shouting, “wow, Nico, it’s so awesome that you’re nonbinary!” He’d only do that if Nico wanted him to, after asking them first. I’m not even sure if Whit would contact Nico about it directly, but even if he didn’t, I feel like Whit would try to find ways to subtly encourage Nico so that they would feel safe coming out themselves. At least, that’s what my bias is telling me.

As a side note, I’m still playing with the rule that Arei sees whatever Whit’s secret is over his shoulder, which is actually what gave Nico’s secret the nod here over Eden’s. We saw that Ace, along with some others, were confused about what exactly the text of Nico’s secret meant. Meanwhile, if attached to Eden, her secret is pretty explicitly about her being sexually attracted to women, and therefore homosexual. I’m not at all calling Arei homophobic (in fact, the concept of doing so makes me very uncomfortable, so please don’t joke about it), but given that the two had been fighting beforehand, it’s possible that Arei would have tried to use the content of Eden’s secret against her somehow (but again, not in a homophobic way).

At the very least, Arei would know something about Eden that Eden might not want her to know, which is bad. I’m not sure if Arei would inherently understand Nico’s secret enough to gain anything of use from it, while Whit and his intuition would definitely understand what’s going on.

“Min” receives Teruko’s secret

Here we go; our other throwaway secret! Part of the appeal of leaving this one in the dark is because… well, we don’t know if it’s true. While the secret doesn’t explicitly state that its owner is the mastermind of the killing game, it’s definitely designed to make you think that’s the case. And, uh, I don’t know if Teruko is the mastermind or not. I recently wrote 1000 words about it, which is equal to one picture.

So, let’s explore both avenues. If Teruko isn’t the mastermind, then sharing this secret around is obviously bad. It would cause people to unwarrantedly distrust Teruko, and possibly even cause Teruko to distrust herself. That could impede the progress of Class Trials, if people don’t trust Teruko’s reasoning anymore, and the progress of deducing the actual mastermind. Therefore, by taking this secret out of circulation, we stop the misinformation from spreading.

Alternatively, if Teruko is the (evil) mastermind, then… aren’t I doing a disservice by not allowing the students to encounter this information? Well, yes, and no. I am preventing them from accessing the deus ex machina of David just outright saying, “oh, and by the way, Teruko is the mastermind!”; that much is true. But, by leaving that information out… aren’t I just leaving them in the same position that most killing game casts are in? They know that one of them is the mastermind, they just don’t know who. And, actually, they have a leg up on the other casts because the mastermind’s identity would still be a logically deducible fact that they could basically confirm if they all worked together. I don’t think it’s too much of a blow to the innocent students if we leave this one out, is what I’m saying.

So, that’s the good ending! A quick graphic to show how everything shook out:

(I swear, I didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Nico’s identity. I just reused the sprites from my archetype analysis because I was too lazy to go get new ones…)

Now, on to the bad ending. This one was a lot harder to assign. Given that these secrets were meant to sow discord, there are only so many ways that things can play out well. There are lots of ways that things can play out poorly.

But, hopefully I’ve found the aggregate worst answer! Given that this is, you know… the one where things go horribly wrong, things may get pretty dark in this section, so proceed with caution. Nobody’s going to die or anything like that, but know that your faves may not be depicted in the most positive light in this section. Grab something comforting and put on some happy music, or lean hard into the angst, ‘cause we’re about to get started.

The Bad Timeline

Ace receives Levi’s secret

Look. I 100% agree that the whole Ace/Nico situation is a Major Yikes Situation /pos. However, I’m hopeful (in the sense of trying to craft the worst possible outcome) that we could still get a More or Less Yikes Situation even without the pair obtaining each others’ secrets.

Although Ace revealing that he was in possession of Nico’s secret closely preceded Nico’s death threat, that wasn’t actually what specifically led Nico to intimidate Ace. It was Ace’s comment that Nico was such a weakling that they could only solve their problems by getting people like David to help them, as well as the culmination of several days of Ace’s torment beginning in Chapter 1, which led them to do it. What I’m saying is, Ace and Nico were already rivals before the secrets even came out, so even without the direct connection to one another via the motive, it’s possible the high tensions would still cause similar events to unfold.

All that preamble hopefully helps to justify my choice to put Ace on Levi’s secret, because, my god, you can open a whole other can of worms with this one. Ace gaining the knowledge that Levi is a killer without remorse the day after Levi threatened to kill him would freak Ace out like nothing else. Being as loud as he is, I would think that Ace wouldn’t be able to stop himself from sharing this one with the class, starting a conflict right from the start.

While do I think the other students would believe Ace in the end– especially if he showed them the paper on which Levi’s name was printed– I also think that some people might doubt Ace’s words at first, thinking he’s overexaggerating as usual. However, that moment of being Boy Who Cried Wolf-ed by everyone else would also really fuck with Ace. He’s literally right, and has the paperwork to prove it, and yet people are still disinclined to believe him because they see him as a fool. It would draw an even deeper wedge between Ace and his classmates than we saw in canon.

Tying back around to the beginning, I think that this extra layer of powerlessness would just make Ace even more inclined to seek out a feeling of power elsewhere. So, I’m thinking that would still result in Ace bullying Nico, and, assuming he still keeps it up for long enough and calls Nico a weakling, we might be able to loop back around to Nico’s death threat anyway. Major Yikes Situation not averted!

Veronika receives David’s secret

Here’s a chaotic choice. Given how open-ended and accusatory David’s secret is, I definitely think it’s one that Veronika would have chosen not to reveal. However, just because she doesn’t want to reveal it doesn’t mean that the information won’t get out… in a way.

We’ve seen time and time again that Veronika is fascinated with morally questionable people, first with Arturo and later David himself once she knew about his secret. Therefore, if she knew about David’s secret from the start, I don’t think she would be able to stop herself from following him around and making some clever comments here and there. Can you imagine how concerning it would be to watch David try to give hope speeches and guide people while Veronika is peering over his shoulder and grinning at him, refusing to elaborate?

It would definitely be worrying, but I don’t think it would fully stop everyone from listening to him– but in this case, that’s a good thing! David’s tactics wound up causing more harm than good, so it was important for me to give his secret to someone who wouldn’t call him out immediately and stop him from enacting these bad policies. Veronika is a great choice for allowing that to happen, but also causing a lot of stress and doubt speculating as to what exactly Veronika could know about David that would make her act this way. Honestly, it might be the worst for David himself…

Levi receives Ace’s secret

This one isn’t that terrible on its own, but in the context of Ace also having Levi’s secret, I think it gets pretty hairy. I can’t really see any scenario where Levi knowing Ace’s greatest secret goes over well for them. If Ace blows up at Levi right out the gate, there’s a definite possibility that Levi can’t keep his cool and winds up firing off Ace’s secret in front of everyone else as retaliation. Betraying Ace’s trust like that (even if Ace was the one to mouth off first) would make their relationship even more unsalvageable.

Even if Levi did manage to keep his mouth shut, knowing Ace’s secret would just generally make it harder for Levi to talk to Ace when explaining himself or trying to make amends. Like I discussed with Hu in the good timeline, there’s a lot you can learn about Ace in the contents of his secret and the way it’s phrased. I feel like Levi would be able to pick up on some of that knowledge, but he would then find it even harder to interact with Ace without accidentally spilling the beans on some of that newfound understanding. This secret shuffle would make their relationship basically irreparable in my opinion, and the increased frustrations from both boys might make one of their tempers flare and lead them to do something inadvisable.

“Xander” receives Eden’s secret

First of all, giving “Xander” this one means there’s one less problematic person who could draw a relatively harmless secret, which is a pro in this scenario. Leaving this secret unconfirmed could also cause problems in a Class Trial. Given that this secret doesn’t include murder, blackmail, manipulation, etc, it’s a pretty nice secret to claim for yourself, even if it can basically only be claimed by one of the girls. This means that, even if Eden tried to be truthful about her secret, people might believe that she’s lying.

Furthermore, the DRDT cast seems to be a pretty queer group of people overall. 6/15 of the non-Edens are confirmed LGBTQ+ themselves (even if not all of them are out), and everyone has treated Nico and Whit’s identities with respect since learning about them. Canonically, I would say that Eden has nothing to worry about with regards to the other girls treating her differently for being a lesbian.

So, by making Eden’s secret far less accessible, it becomes less likely that she’ll ever get that moment of recognition and affirmation. Instead, as Eden’s secret remains hidden and irrelevant, it becomes easier for her to stick to what she knows is safe. An accepting environment was right there in front of her, but with the convenience of periphery, she might not ever see it.

Arturo receives J’s secret

Yeah, I agree with you on this one– J truly did roll a crit fail. I did consider giving J’s secret to someone else, as long as they would definitely publicly spill the beans, if it meant that Arturo could learn the content of J’s secret while receiving an additional bad secret as well. However, I couldn’t think of anyone who would be so guaranteed to tell everyone about J’s secret that I could be confident Arturo would hear of it, nor could I think of any particularly catastrophic secrets I’d rather give to Arturo. So, this one stays. J really is living in the worst timeline already– like if you cry every time.

Hu receives Arei’s secret

Hu was a tough nut to crack, because I think the ideal bad situation for her is that she gets a secret that’s problematic enough that it would cause major issues if news broke, but not so problematic that she wouldn’t be willing to share it as a part of David’s “let’s tell each other about our secrets” plan. Operating under the logic that the mention of self harm was the reason why she wasn’t willing to share the secret she got in canon, 3/15 options immediately disappear. More options vanish when you start eliminating not-super-problematic secrets like Xander's family, Charles’ brother, or Rose’s debt.

After some consideration, I landed on Arei’s being the best balance of thorny and not. It’s a secret that discusses a serious crime without incorporating murder, and there’s lots of room for public interpretation that could cause things to go really poorly for Arei if folks jump to conclusions. Given that Hu already didn’t super like Arei (I’m basing this off of her chastising Arei for bullying Eden), I could totally see her being willing to share this secret publicly in order to help everyone see that Arei is someone not to be trusted.

Making Arei’s secret publicly aired also removes the very important aspect of Arei’s agency that I wrote on in the good section. If Hu is sharing this secret, it’s probably pretty early in the chapter, which means that Arei might not be prepared whenever the news drops. The context of the secret sharing doesn’t involve Eden at all, so Arei might have a harder time putting two and two together about why she acts the way she does and how she wants to change. Not to mention, if Hu shares the secret in a way that directly agrees with David’s scheme, it automatically pits David against Arei, which means that he can’t offer her any help (to the extent that what he said helped her canonically). It’s just bad all around. But that’s why I’ve come to feel pretty confident in this choice.

Rose receives Min’s secret

Following up on Rose’s last entry, this is not one of the secrets that the rest of the students could either easily deduce or ignore. It would be very easy to assume that the owner of the poison secret was a murderer– possibly a mass murderer, and even one who didn't regret what they did. Even if poison wasn’t used in the Chapter 2 murder, people might suspect this person of being the killer, and/or it could throw suspicion on Charles as the only one (who we know of) who has a poisonous custom weapon.

Now, obviously, this secret did not cause much of a scene in the canonical Chapter 2 trial, but I think at least part of that is because it was Xander’s. Everyone knows that the person who has that secret can only be determined by process of elimination no matter who they ask. The same would be true if it were the secret Rose got, but people might grow upset that Rose threw away such a valuable piece of evidence. And, with Min incapable of claiming her secret, it might appear even more that someone was trying to hide something when nobody spoke up to claim it. It’s not much, but Rose made it difficult to come up with something bad.

Teruko receives Xander’s secret

Funnily enough, the logic behind me giving Xander’s secret to Teruko is quite similar to the logic behind me giving it to David. Much like how David would be taken out of commission by reading this secret, I think that Teruko would act the same– it would just be worse for her and the group as a whole.

Like I said for David, Xander’s secret paints him out as a tragic hero. He loved his family to pieces, and regrets their passing so much that he wishes he could have died with them. Even though it was textually not his fault, Xander still beats himself up every day for not being around to do the right thing and save people when it counted. …What does it mean that the guy with this secret was the one who felt he had to kill Teruko for the greater good?!

Reading Xander’s secret would only pull Teruko deeper into anger, self-hatred, and confusion. She was already pretty off kilter in this Chapter from trying to ignore her mixed emotions regarding Xander, and I think that having to relive her trauma and his betrayal any time someone brought up the mere concept of secrets would basically take her out of commission. I mean, check out how many times I was able to say the word secret in these three paragraphs alone. I don’t imagine Teruko would be able to fare much better in the hellish environment of this terrible swap, which might lead her to hole up in her room all day and grow increasingly bored and bitter.

Now, I’m not saying that Teruko needed to be up and at ‘em in the daily life because her running around and pressing knives to people’s throats was just so helpful. But at least, unlike David, she wasn’t actively making the situation worse. Her presence may have even made potential friends like Eden, Charles, or Rose feel better. At the very least, Teruko learned some key social context in the Chapter 2 daily life prior to the Trial, so removing Teruko from those interactions would make it much harder for her to fully grasp what was going on should she be forced to solve a murder once again.

Charles receives Whit’s secret

I agree with you here as well– Charles acquiring Whit’s secret is probably the worst case scenario for Whit. As one of two people who actually heard Whit talk about his mom in Chapter 1, Charles is one of the only people who would know that Whit doesn’t just “omit that truth” by not talking about his mom, he actively talks about her like she is alive. This would raise a very big question for Charles at a crucial point in their friendship. Charles has just come to start trusting this guy, so what do you mean he was lying about something so odd…?

There’s a chance that the reveal of this concealment of the truth would cause Charles to determine that he couldn’t trust Whit anymore, and it would drive them apart. But, I think that’s pretty unlikely. More likely is the option where Charles (who’s in a fragile state from his meltdown yesterday and only JUST started learning how to be a good friend) tries to question Whit about it, only for Whit to panic. I don’t really think that Whit would try to keep the ruse going, seeing as Charles literally has the answer right in front of him, but he still might be full of deflections, or try to avoid the subject with jokes. (“Huh? No, I totally said that my mom passed away a few years ago! You must’ve just not heard me– did you fling some detergent into your ears with that laundry machine?”)

I’m not sure if this distribution of secrets would fully split them up, but it would definitely cause a rift in their conversation and bonding that might stop Charles and Whit from growing as close as they did. And, all this isn’t even taking into account that–

Whit receives Charles’ secret

Did you ever notice that Whit and Charles’ secrets are both about a hidden dead relative? I didn’t put two and two together until now, but boy does it work out poorly for purposes of this AU.

Much like Levi with Ace’s secret, I don’t think this is an inherently bad draw for Whit, but it kinda sucks in this context. Whit gets placed into a really weird trolley problem: do you tell and comfort Charles about his dead brother when it’ll definitely segue into discussions of your own dead mom, or do you keep it hidden, not helping Charles and leaving yourself open to the possibility of him feeling betrayed later that you kept this secret from him? It’s these kinds of questions that Whit would be forced to ask himself in the moment that Charles first confronts him, and the time needed to process would only throw him off his game and make him appear more suspicious to Charles.

To be fair, a lot of this does depend on how deep in the lie Whit is. Is he usually pretty quick to admit that his mom is dead to anyone who digs deeper into the issue, or has he been lying about his mom’s status to everyone, his father included? If it’s more like the former, then maybe the two of them could actually come to bond over the tragedy of losing someone you care about. But, if it’s more like the latter, then this distribution of secrets could get in the way of one of the (seemingly) most stable and healthy relationships in the killing game.

Arei receives Arturo’s secret

At first, I actually considered giving Arturo’s secret to Arei in the good universe, because I thought that Arei could understand having complicated relationships with your sisters. But then I remembered something critically important. Arei herself is the younger sister. She wouldn’t relate to Arturo; she would relate to Felicity. And then, all hell would break loose.

Arei knows what it’s like to be a younger sister who, even if she never considered it herself, had other people try to pressure her into committing suicide. So, to have a younger sister lucky enough to actually have a big brother she cared about, only for him to leave her alone and cause her death? Arei would be furious. She would absolutely call him out for it immediately, and use all of the bullying tactics she learned to make his life a living hell.

Despite all that I wrote about what Hu would do with Arei’s secret, I don’t actually know if Hu would be more or less likely to share Arei’s secret if Arei was acting this way. Would Hu take it upon herself to join in shaming Arturo for his actions, or feel that Arei was being a hypocrite and want to share Arei’s own truth? Either way, with both of these secrets, I think that the option of Arei’s character growing at all (or becoming friends with Eden) any time soon is pretty much dead.

And then there’s Arturo himself. While we’ve seen that Arturo does genuinely seem remorseful and haunted by Felicity’s death, I doubt Arei would know or care. I also totally think that J would join Arei in absolutely demolishing the man. Having Arei’s offense be backed by the Julia Rosales might just break him. Whether it would be in a victim way or a killer way I’m not sure, but it would definitely be bad for funni beauty standards man. The good news is that it might stop Arei from dying…? Unless Arturo just decided to kill her. There really isn’t a lot of good news.

David receives Veronika’s secret

Alright, back to David and Veronika. This is the third time I’ve had two people just swap their secrets, I guess? And, it’s kinda for the same reasons again. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Since we’ve been through a lot since we last discussed this pair, let’s get a quick recap: Veronika knows that David is a manipulative bastard, but won’t tell anyone that yet because she thinks it’ll be more interesting if she keeps her mouth shut. Thus, everyone is kind of wary of David, and David is definitely wary of Veronika, but not so much that it stops David from doing his information-seeking “let’s all share our secrets” plan.

I think that learning this about Veronika would make David pretty confused, very concerned, and extra conscious of Veronika in a way that would be hard to conceal. He could probably guess from the way Veronika was acting that she had some kind of dirt on him, and therefore conclude that, if he ever tried to share her secret, she might just fire back at him. David does not want that. So, the two of them remain at an uneasy stalemate that would make everyone else increasingly troubled.

Furthermore, I think that Veronika’s secret is a good balance of an unexpected yet potentially relevant piece of information about a living student that David would want to seek more of, while also not being so grim that it would appeal to whatever morals David may have. (Don’t get me wrong, Veronika’s secret is very worrying and tragic, but at least the inclusion of “for fun” makes it less grim than Arturo’s or Hu’s, to me.) David would be inclined to continue on his quest of acquiring the most knowledge-as-power as possible, and Veronika would be thrilled to watch! Both of them would just be giving off… really weird vibes about it.

Nico receives Hu’s secret

(extra suicide TW just in case)

If I say anything offensive or incorrect in this section, I deeply apologize. I don’t mean to portray either of these characters, their issues, or people who relate to them or their issues in a bad light, and I definitely don’t mean to demonize mentally ill people. The reasoning behind why I think it would be bad for Nico to get Hu’s secret is complicated, and may be based on uninformed thoughts or unfounded projections. However, based on what I do “know,” I think it makes sense, so I’ll try to explain myself as best I can.

Basically, I think that receiving Hu’s secret would be bad for Nico because it might make Nico less likely to speak up for themselves when Hu talks over them. If I were Nico, I might be worried about reacting too strongly to what Hu is doing, and accidentally sending her back into the hopeless state of her childhood. Just interacting with Hu in general might lead someone (like David) to start questioning Nico about the secret they received, and cause the information to accidentally leak out. It would make Nico saying anything on how Hu was acting difficult.

Again, I am not trying to villainize Hu, or mandate that you have to walk on eggshells around suicidal people because they’re loose cannons or whatever. I just think that, especially for someone as uncomfortable with socialization with Nico, navigating the sensitive subject of past suicide attempts in this incredibly hostile bad AU environment might prevent them from speaking up for themselves when they’re feeling belittled. And, that would be bad for their personal development.

I wish we could move on to something happier to combat these bad vibes, but unfortunately, we still have a couple more to go.

“Min” receives Rose’s secret

Well, at least we can cool down a little bit with this one. Not a ton going on here; basically just that Rose’s secret is pretty lowkey and I could cause more damage with other secrets elsewhere. I don’t think it would cause a particular stir with either other students becoming paranoid or Rose’s characterization and growth. I suppose that, without the excuse of being able to explain her past, Rose probably wouldn’t have had that chance to vent to Teruko, which was probably a good experience for her? The conflict-avoidant Rose will be suffering enough with all the turmoil going on around her, methinks.

Eden receives Nico’s secret

Make no mistake, this is not a decision made to hurt Nico. It’s meant to hurt Eden. With her compassionate heart and non-judgmental attitude, Eden is a great draw for any secret-holder to have in order to not cause trouble. That’s why I thought that the best move here was to use the secret as an offensive weapon to lessen her impact, as well as preventing a more problematic secret from being absorbed into her positive vibes.

Eden’s greatest secret is that she’s a lesbian, and she fears that people will come to hate her or discriminate against her if they find out about her identity. Therefore, the worst thing to do to her is to affirm those fears by shoving the homophobia someone else suffered in her face. Learning that Nico was mocked for their identity would make Eden less confident in hers, and might dampen her spirit enough that some of the good effects of her optimism are negated. She might become more hesitant to discuss secrets and more fearful of her peers, knowing that one of them probably knows about her identity and could use it against her at any time. Little does she know, it’s actually in the morgue alongside the Ultimate Rebel.

But, the fact that is just further feeds into my idea from Xander’s section. If Eden has just been reminded of how cruel the world can be to LGBTQ+ people, she wouldn’t be jumping at the opportunity to reveal which secret was hers. This would 1) allow another troublemaker to perhaps successfully claim it as their own, 2) make Eden look suspicious as she tries to come up with a solid lie of her own, and 3) postpone or deny (if Eden dies on a short timeframe) Eden’s ability to feel comfortable in herself.

Also (not to say that David forcing Nico to share their secret was a good thing), if Nico’s secret never becomes available to the public, they might have to go through the rest of their time in the killing game getting misgendered. Diversity loss!

J receives Teruko’s secret

J could stay quiet for a lot of things, but I feel like if she knew who the mastermind was (assuming she doesn’t know that she herself is the mastermind), that’s something she wouldn’t stay quiet about. I think that J at least wanted to see Teruko as her friend, given that she approached Teruko on the day she tested out her universal remote and roped Teruko in as part of her plan to get away from Arturo. Teruko double-crossing J by “being the mastermind” would, I think, be enough of a betrayal that J would set out seeking answers. Publicly.

Teruko, having just seen Xander’s secret, is also in a terrible mood, meaning that her ability to defend herself against J’s accusations and keep a cool head would be lessened, and possibly devolve into a screaming match. This would send the students down the incorrect(?) path as to the mastermind’s identity, further encourage Teruko to distance herself from everyone else, and cause J to lose faith in one of the few people she liked just before Arturo starts to get on her ass. Needless to say, the group would be in shambles.

That was rough, but we’re finally done. Let’s take a look at how things shook out.

(Once again, I really didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Charles’ dead brother? A little treat for everyone who believes Whit is evil, I suppose.)

Blech. Even though torturing characters can be fun sometimes, speculating about the worst case scenario isn’t usually the kind of energy that I like to bring to this blog. Hopefully I was able to deliver something satisfactorily devastating, though!

As a final note, assigning all these secrets to everyone did get me thinking a little about what would have happened in this chapter if the motive had gone as planned, and everyone had gotten their own secrets. While it obviously wouldn’t have been as good as the good universe, I do think that people learning of their own secrets is a lot better than many of the bad scenarios that could have been created with a shuffle. Charles and Teruko definitely would have been a bit thrown, but at least in Charles’ case, I don’t know if it would have resulted in murder.

In my opinion, I think it’s probably most likely that David or Nico would have killed? David obviously cares a lot about his career and the prospect of his secret being shared with the world, so he could have tried to ride his good social graces and fake “family history of depression” secret to a Class Trial clear. Nico also has a lot to worry about with their secret getting out, and, already facing pressure from Ace’s bullying, it’s possible they would have made the same decision to kill Ace if Ace’s harassment continued. I suppose this is a question I can ask back at ya, Gremlyn, if you feel inclined to answer! :D And, thank you for the ask. Even if it got a little bleak, I had fun with it.

Stay safe and happy out there, everyone, and make sure your deepest, darkest secret doesn’t get handed to your worst enemy. Or really, just try to avoid entering a killing game at all. Until next time~

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prentissluvr · 4 months ago

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I LOVE WAKING UP TO A NEW MARÍ WRITING. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WORLD I LOVE LIVING IN. Let me lock in and cook for you rq angel

FIRST OFF. I knew it was gonna be good with that prompt

Okay I had a work meeting in the middle of writing this let’s continue

Because that prompt ALWAYS eats. No matter who what when where and when YOURE writing it I know it’s gonna be a yummy delectable treat 😜

“”jesus, honey, are you okay?” he asks, worry making his voice thick.” HASBEVRRRT. I’m going bananas Marí I really am. HONEY??? HONEY!!?!?!?! Oh my god I’m losing my mind because YES Sam would call you honey and I’m SICK OF NOBODY SAYING IT!!! I’m in love with the way you write this man bc he deserved so much more love in the show and seeing it given to him through your pen is just exactly what I need to heal from supernatural rewatch (it’s devastating.)

“who did this to you?” I don’t even think I have to say anything about this to get my point across. So good. It was so perfect, everything down to the LAST MINUTE DETAIL AGHR. So good. So simple, so classic, so perfect. You can never go wrong with it and somehow you built a scenario around it so complicated that made it feel so much heavier and like it had so much more weight.

“��it’s okay,” you say, voice hushed and assured. “this… it’s enough, sam. it’s all i need.” just these few words tell him that you don’t care that he wasn’t there when it happened, that his care and comfort in this moment are enough to make it better.” I KNOW THATS RIGHT. HES ALL I NEED! I will forever praise how you write the simplest of love languages and twist them into beautiful heart-strumming stories and this one is no exception. The love you can FEEL from these words is absolutely insane. The reader doesn’t care that he wasn’t there, only that he’s comforting them NOW and something about that is so inherently correct in what a healthy, communicative relationship should be like and be represented like.

AND OF COURSE. MY FAV PART OF MARÍ WRITINGS. The final paragraphs: “then he holds you under the covers, pressing gentle kisses to your forehead and whispering sweet things, until there’s nothing but soft darkness and his touch left, and you’re asleep.” I love this so much. Simple, open ended, but still so breathtaking and makes you feel so good. I think that’s my absolute favourite part of your writing style in general; your endings are always open ended and left to complete interpretation, but they give that perfect sense of finality that doesn’t leave me wanting and begging for more (although I will still want and beg for more.)

AMAZING AS ALWAYS POOKIE ☺️🤞 Loved it so much if you couldn’t tell. Have a good weekend!

GRACEEEE STOPPP I ACTUALLY TEARED UP IM SERIOUS ABOUT THATTTTTT GODDDD i'll say this every time, you're too good to me and i'm so grateful to you and ILYSMMMMM

LIKE YES !!! YES I SAID HONEY AND I MEANT IT WITH MY WHOLE SOUL !!!!!! i am a sam calling you honey ENTHUSIAST and i will ALWAYS write him saying that. and for you to say that my writing gives him the love he deserves is what made me tear up, seriously :,) like ik he's just a fictional character but ughhhhhh i adore him so much and it genuinely means everything to me that you'd say that about my writing <333

and i'm SO glad you felt like the scenario i built around the prompt brought more weight to the prompt, that was the part that i was unsure/a little meh about when i wrote it, so it means a lot that you thought it was effective!!! <333

"beautiful heart-strumming stories" IM CRYING kjhdflaksjfl it's just the best thing ever for me to hear that you can feel the love in the words i write because that's like everything i ever wanna achieve with my writing honestly <333 and ughhh you just got exactly what i was trying to express with that part and i'm sooo glad for it <33

AND YAYYY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LIKING MY ENDINGSSS the way you describe them has me crying, feeling so so so flattered and happy. i feel like you really see my writing style and that makes me so emo HAHA thank you so much darling <333 ilysm seriously <3333 you have the bestest weekend ever !!!!

#. >> asks !#. >> mooties ౨ৎ !#. >> grace ౨ৎ !#crying sobbing #. >> feedback !

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theresonly1u · 2 years ago

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A major reason why I chose your challenge to participate in is because of how simple and easy is. I love that! Others I excluded in the past is because of how complicated they can be.

Yours is the best ever!!! Perfect fic length and all!!!!

Thank you so much, I'm so glad you're able to participate!! Honestly, when I was thinking about how to create a prompt meme that would encourage an extremely tight word count or creative limit, it occurred to me that the only real way to allow people to create short works without getting bogged down in stipulations (by myself or other prompters) is to just keep as simple and broadly open to interpretation as possible. I'm glad it's worked out well for so many people!

#ask #titaniclover1983

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50yearsofqueen · 4 years ago

Text

Fun with Comments! A Super Simple Guide

Comments are brilliant. They support and encourage writers and artists, they are a great way to connect with people and make friends, and often enough they spark the idea for the next fic or fanart.

And the best thing is: comments don’t have to be long and complicated to work their magic. Here are some ideas for short and simple comments that will still put a big smile on a creator’s face.

The simplest comment ever

❤️

One emoji is enough for a comment? Yes, it absolutely is! However, emojis work great in strings:

💔😭😭😭🙏😥 (Sad)

💕😊💕🥺💕🤗💕🥰💕 (Fluffy)

🔥🔥🔥🥵💥 (Hot)

...or combination with and with some general praise

💖 I absolutly love this! 💖

That was so hot! 🔥🥵💥

I want to leave a thousand kudos! 🙏🙏🙏

And why not throw in a keysmash and allcaps:

😍 askdjfhaglglafdhkjg THIS IS SO CUTE I CANNOT!!! 💕

If you want to be more specific

You can say what’s your favourite part of the story:

Your descriptions are breathtaking/beautiful/creative/evocative/poetic/hilarious...

This is a wonderful take on this character/their struggles/this particular situation

The world-building in this AU is fantastic! I love all the details!

'Idiots to Lovers' is one of my favourite tropes, and you wrote it perfectly!

The dialogue feels so real, I could hear it all in my head!

Or you can quote a bit of the story you particularly liked:

"And then they rode off into the sunset together" What a perfect ending!!!

"She curled up on her bed and didn't hold back her tears any longer" 💔😥

You can say what the story made you feel or do:

This made me cry/smile/dance around with joy (be careful with explicit sexual reactions, unless you know the author is fine with it)

I stayed up until 4 in the morning just to finish this.

I'm an emotional mess after reading this.

I laughed so hard I scared my cat!

I have been in that situation myself, and your description really resonated with me.

I was having such a bad day, and your story really cheered me up/comforted me.

You can talk to the characters directly...

Noooo, don't just walk away like this, he loves you too, you idiot!

OMG BRIAN!!! 😂

...or to the writer:

I'm so happy you chose this prompt!

Looking forward to the next chapter! / Can't wait to see what happens next! (if it’s a multichapter)

Thank you for sharing this with us!

And keep in mind:

You can totally repeat what other commenters have already said!

You can totally leave the same or similar comments on several stories!

Don't worry if your English isn't perfect! We don’t mind, honest! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

For more inspiration:

Comment template

Emoji-based comments

Comment starters

An excel-based comment builder

Advice for commenting novices

And another How-To

So, this is the 'Do' side - but what about the 'Don'ts'? If you like, you can read more about that under the cut.

What about critical comments?

Look at the author's notes. Does the writer specifically ask for criticism?

In that case - and that case only! - you can leave a critical comment. Make sure that your comment contains praise too, and that your criticism is constructive (”concrit”). Constructive means that you offer the writer a concrete idea of how to improve their story, like:

"Freddie is spelled with -ie, not y."

"You change from past to present tense halfway through - its better to choose one and stick with it."

"If you change the dialogue from [this] to [that] during the love confession, it would sound more natural."

Here's an instructive tumblr post on what concrit is and isn't: x

What if the author doesn't ask for critical comments, but I still want to tell them how to improve the story?

Don't. Writers become better writers mainly through writing. Unsolicited concrit can be incredibly disheartening, and may put people off writing and sharing their work - and then they won't ever improve. Here are some detailed posts about why sending unsolicited concrit is not a good idea: x x

If you want to help writers with their fic, leave supportive comments and kudos. Encourage them. Tell them what works. If you're up for it, you can also make it known that you're open to beta people's fic. It's a lot of work, but it's very rewarding.

What if a fic really upsets me?

Did the author not use an archive warning when they should have? Did the story contains a really common trigger that wasn't tagged (a racial slur or self harm, for example)? Did a g-rated story contain porn?

Then see if you can find a way to contact the author privately (click on their Profile to see if they've got an email-address or tumblr link there) and send them a message, off anon. Explain the issue without insulting them or assuming the worst about them, and ask them to make the appropriate changes. In extreme cases of missing archive warnings and misleading ratings, you can report a fic to the archive.

However, be aware that there is a lot of room for interpretation. Some people might rate something "teen" where others use "mature". Some authors tag "dubious consent", where others would use a "rape/non-con" warning. Some authors prefer to tag everything under sun, while others feel it's giving the story away. Tags are voluntary, so make your point, but be prepared to let it go if the writer replies with, "No, I'm not going to change my tags."

In the context of this event, feel free to contact @quirkysubject or @emmaandorlando, and we'll see if there's a way to moderate.

If you're upset because "I hate it when character X is written that way" or "that entire trope is overused and sexist" or "this pairing shouldn't exist" or "why doesn't anyone write about this thing I'm interested in?" - find a place to vent your feelings that is not the fic's comment section. Go rant to a friend who you know shares your views. Pour all your rage in a google doc and then don't post it. Give a 15 minute lecture to your cat. Write the story you want to read yourself.

#commenting #how to

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obeyme-kaidii-writes · 4 years ago

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Alright, this combination spoke to me. I personally am struggling to pick between Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, and Diavolo as my favorite, I love all of them. So Poly with the four, but with the angst prompt of "I don't know how much longer I can endure this." in response to the tortures of not being able to choose. Up to interpretation, but this resonated with me.

I may have gotten a teensy tiny bit carried away with this one. But I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you enjoy it too!

Complicated

Diavolo / Lucifer / Satan / Beel x poly gn!MC

Words - 5330

Content warnings - some angst, lots of comfort and fluff, polyamorous relationship w/MC (no demon x demon relationships)

Prompt/Inspiration - anon request, “I don’t know how much longer I can endure this.”

Summary - You had managed to fall in love with not one, not two, but FOUR demons - and now you had to figure out what came next.

AO3

Complicated.

There really wasn’t another way to describe the current state of your life.

Beel was the first one to really take an interest in you. A genuine interest. You fell in love hard and fast. Perhaps it was the guilt over not being able to reveal what you knew about Belphegor’s situation, but you didn’t feel comfortable making your feelings for him known. It just seemed like something that would burden him, and you really didn’t want to risk losing the one friend you felt the most safe with while you were all alone in this new realm.

As your year progressed, the situation with Belphegor was finally resolved. But still, you hesitated to say anything. You knew how close he was to Belphie, and you convinced yourself that it would be best if you didn’t do anything that would come between them. It was obvious even to your own heart that you were just making excuses for yourself, too scared to take a step forward.

It was then you started growing closer to Lucifer. Your initial relationship with him had been...strained...to say the least. But after he realized the lengths you were willing to go to in order to help his brothers, he couldn’t help but fall in love with you. You had an inner strength that he honestly admired, though he would probably never admit that to you. And he enjoyed your company immensely, even if it was just having you nearby while he worked. Everything just seemed easier with you around, even Mammon’s shenanigans didn’t stress him out quite like they used to anymore. And you enjoyed his company as well - he was a source of stability for you in the chaos of the House of Lamentation. You would often take refuge in his study with him to recharge after a day of playing referee for the other overgrown children you had as housemates.

You had also managed to catch Satan’s eye, particularly after the whole dating sim fiasco with Levi. He liked the fact that you saw him as an individual - you never compared him to Lucifer, nor did you ever try to force the issue about them getting along. You just let Satan be...Satan. And he loved spending time with you reading together. It was like the two of you had your own private book club; he was always ready with a book recommendation for you.

It was Satan that had actually approached you first about the possibility of being in a relationship. You were surprised to hear that he had had such a strong interest in you, since he was always so reserved most of the time. Your initial reaction was of course to want to say yes, but the fact that Beel, and Lucifer especially, still held pieces of your heart made you feel incredibly guilty. You didn’t even have to ask to know that Lucifer was the absolute last person he’d ever be ok with sharing your affections with, even if you could get him to consider a polyamorous relationship.

So, you instead asked Satan for time. And he agreed to give you some space to think things over. You knew it was unfair to him to expect him to wait...but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him “no”. You didn’t want to tell him “no”, after all. It was just the only option you felt was available to you.

Hoping to avoid Satan, and delay the inevitable, you started spending more time with Barbatos at the Demon Lord’s Castle. He taught you all about Devildom teas, and showed you how to bake some of Diavolo’s favorite treats. And Diavolo was more than happy to sample everything you tried your hand at preparing.

At some point, you had just started dropping by even when Barbatos was busy, just to chat with Diavolo and he was always glad to see you. He’d ask you about your life in the human realm, and you’d ask him about life in the Devildom. You probably learned more about Devildom history and lore from these conversations than you ever did in class at RAD; and you eagerly soaked it all up, hanging on Diavolo’s every word, absolutely enchanted with his storytelling ability and his life experiences that spanned several millennia.

Unlike with Beel, or even Lucifer, you didn’t realize when you had started falling for Diavolo, or Dia as he asked you to call him now. One day you had just tried to stop by, only to learn that he was still stuck at RAD, working with Lucifer. And you were absolutely devastated. It shocked you honestly at just how upset you had gotten over the loss of one simple visit. But as soon as you felt that familiar ache in your heart you knew exactly what was going on.

It was the same thing that you had been trying to avoid dealing with with Lucifer and his brothers. And you had somehow managed to get tangled up in again. Only this time things were far more complicated than family relationships between brothers. There was just no way you’d be allowed to enter into a relationship with Lord Diavolo, crown prince of the Devildom. That is if he was even interested in you in that way, which you highly doubted. Why would he be? You were just a simple human. You didn’t have any great experience or insight to offer, your education wasn’t even that exemplary. There was nothing about you that you felt entitled you to ever expect to be more than just friends with the Prince, and you were lucky he even humored your attempts at friendship.

You weren’t sure how, but you did manage to make it home that afternoon and crawled into bed. The tears just started on their own, and you were powerless to stop them. You had fought them off for far too long at this point, your body simply decided it had enough repressing those emotions and they all came pouring out. How much longer would you be able to endure this? You honestly didn’t think there was much more your heart could take, and you had no one to blame but yourself.

————

When Beel dropped by to remind you of dinner, you pretended to sleep and choked back your sobs until he went away. When Lucifer stopped by to check on you, you told him you were busy with schoolwork. And when Satan asked if you would like to come over to his room to read, you said you weren’t feeling well.

You thought you had managed to throw everyone off the scent. But when Diavolo popped in to apologize for not being there when you had tried to visit him earlier, everything quickly started to unravel.

You opened your bedroom door, completely shocked to see Dia and Lucifer on the other side. He had never come by before just to see you. Maybe a few times to check on Lucifer, but he usually would send Barbatos to run any important errands or to issue any invitations. Seeing him before you now, you immediately became aware of how awful you must have looked. Your eyes still red, your hair a mess, your uniform all disheveled since you hadn’t bothered to change when you got home.

As you stood there, opening and closing your mouth, struggling to string together a single coherent thought, the unthinkable happened - Beel walked by on his way to the kitchen, Satan not far behind him, and they both turned to look your way as they walked past your door. Your eyes flicked from Beel to Satan to Lucifer to Dia and you instinctively tried to slam your door shut to escape, but Lucifer caught it before you could.

“Is there something the matter?” he asked.

And of course, once again, your body decided it had just had enough of containing your repressed emotions and let your tears flow freely. This was it, you thought. You were going to be forced to face what you had been trying to avoid and that would just be the end of it all. Since you had refused to make a choice on your own, your choice was about to be made for you and you were going to end up with absolutely nothing as a result.

—————

It took awhile for you to calm down. Beel was sitting next to you on the edge of your bed with his arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders. Satan was standing nearby, holding a glass of water for you. You thanked him quietly for his thoughtfulness, and slowly sipped the chilled water, trying to buy yourself some time before you would start being forced to answer questions. And Lucifer and Dia were sitting across from you in two plush, wingback chairs that they had dragged away from the wall.

Everyone silently waiting for you.

“I’m...sorry…” you finally mumbled out. Beel gave you a reassuring squeeze, and Satan sat down beside you, taking your free hand. What you wouldn’t have given to be able to freeze time and just continue living in that perfect little moment surrounded by your favorite demons. But this was reality. And it was about time you faced that.

“It’s ok, but what are you apologizing for?” Satan asked.

“I umm…” your lip started trembling and you took a deep breath to try to calm yourself. There wasn’t any way to run from this, not this time.

“Take your time,” Beel reassured you, rubbing your arm.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you guys, especially you Satan. I know that wasn’t fair.” You felt him tense up beside you, no doubt expecting the reason for your avoidance to have been due to the fact you were planning on rejecting him. But he didn’t let go of your hand either, which only made you feel more guilty.

“It’s just...I can’t...I can’t choose…” you started to fidget nervously in your seat.

Lucifer seemed to have caught on quicker than the rest, “You mean to say you have feelings for more than one of us?” You meekly nodded, keeping your head down and your eyes glued to the floor. You had absolutely no desire to see the expressions on everyone’s faces as they exchanged looks with one another.

By this point Dia was getting a bit uncomfortable. This didn’t seem like the sort of conversation he should be part of - it was between Lucifer and his brothers after all. Even though he treasured you greatly, he had never made those feelings known to you nor had you ever expressed more than friendly interest in him, so it didn’t even occur to him that he might also be involved.

“I think I’ll go ahead and head out so…”

“No..!” you called out, looking Dia right in the eye, desperate for him to stay. You were surprised at your own reaction, but you couldn’t let him leave without knowing how you felt. The only thing that would hurt worse than him knowing your feelings and rejecting you, was if he thought you didn’t care for him at all and preferred someone else to him. And you couldn’t let that happen. You at least wanted a chance to keep him as your friend.

“I...ummm…you’re part of...this…” you mumbled out as your eyes fell to the ground again.

Diavolo was caught completely off guard with your confession, a deep blush spreading across his cheeks. As was Lucifer, who for the most part had been unaware that you had been spending enough time with the Prince to have any sort of relationship.

The silence that followed was killing you. It felt so oppressive. All you could do was wait for someone else to decide to speak. You couldn’t understand why Beel was still holding you so gently, or why Satan hadn’t moved from his spot next to you, your hand still wrapped in his. It was only a matter of time, you thought, before they’d all leave one by one and you’d find yourself alone. Part of you wanted them to hurry up and go so you could wallow in your own self pity, because the other part of you wanted them all to stay and tell you how much they all loved you, and you knew that was never going to happen.

“Can I speak with them? Alone?”

“Lord Diavolo…” Lucifer had started to object, but quickly stopped himself. He could use this time to talk to Satan and Beel, and it seemed they had a lot to talk about, “Alright, we will be in my study. Let us know when you’re finished.”

Satan, who had been staring at you this whole time, glared at Lucifer for assuming he’d just go along with his suggestion. But even he could see the tender look in his eyes as he gazed at you. There was no doubt Lucifer cared for you immensely, and seeing as this was for your benefit, Satan decided to comply, giving your hand one final squeeze before making his way out of your room.

Beel was having a more difficult time letting you go. He could practically feel how upset you were, and didn’t want to leave you alone. But after looking at Lucifer and Lord Diavolo, he finally accepted that it would be alright to leave you be for just a few moments. So, giving you one last hug and a kiss to the top of your head, he followed after Satan, with Lucifer not far behind.

Now alone with you, Dia dragged his chair closer to your bed so that he was sitting right in front of you, knees nearly touching. He took the now empty glass from you and set it down on the bedside table before taking both of your hands in his own.

“This has been bothering you for some time, hasn’t it?”

“...yeah…”

“Is this why you started spending so much time at the castle?”

“Sorta. I asked Barbatos to help me learn more about Devildom baking so I could avoid everyone else,” you gave a self deprecating laugh, “But then I started spending time with you….and...well then that started to be the reason I came…”

“So you really enjoyed our time together?”

“Of course!” you replied, raising your head to meet Diavolo’s gaze. He was much closer than you were expecting, and you flushed in embarrassment. He chuckled at your reaction. You were just so cute when you got flustered, he had a hard time resisting the urge to tease you, but he’d have to save that for later.

“Then why were you so upset?”

“Because...I...realized it didn’t matter.”

“Didn’t matter? Why would you think that?”

“Because...I’m...I'm just me. A simple human. And you’re you. And I should just be happy you even put up with me or talk to me at all. And even if I told you how I felt, it wouldn’t change how I feel about them and it just didn’t seem fair to have to choose, not after Satan already confessed to me. And I know Lucifer hasn’t said anything yet, but I can tell the way he looks at me. And there is no way Satan would ever be ok with me having any sort of relationship with Lucifer. And Beel is like my best friend and I’m sure if I say anything it would just upset Belphie and I don’t want to hurt him or make Beel think he has to choose…”

You snapped your mouth shut, realizing what you had just done. You had just unloaded everything, all the secrets and worries that had plagued your heart for the past several months, you had shared it all. To say you were mortified right now would be an understatement. You truly wished the ground would just swallow you up. You’d wish for death if you thought it would make a difference, but with your luck you’d just end up right back in the Devildom.

“So what I’m hearing is you’re too busy worrying about how everyone else feels to worry about yourself?”

You nodded your head, averting your eyes.

“What do you want then?”

“...it’s selfish…”

“Then be selfish. We’re demons after all.”

“Wha…?” you looked up at Dia again and he was gazing at you softly, a small smile on his lips as he encouraged you. Was it really ok for you to just ask for that ? Would they really not hate you if you did? It didn’t seem possible for you to get everything you’d want, how could you be that lucky? Surely if you said anything, then you’d lose everything, right?

At least that’s what your human conscience was telling you.

But here sat Lord Diavolo, future king of the Devildom, telling you that it was ok to ask for whatever you wanted, in a way that suggested you just might be granted it. And you wanted so badly to believe that that would be true.

“Go on, love, tell me what you want to do.”

————

Lucifer took a seat at his desk, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms in front of himself. Finding out that you had a close relationship with Diavolo had come as a huge surprise. He had suspected that Satan had taken a liking to you, and he wasn’t at all surprised to discover that Beel was fond of you as well. But Diavolo? He wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“I assume you wanted to talk to us. So what is it?” asked Satan. He was agitated. He didn’t like the idea of leaving you alone with Lord Diavolo, especially not after it seemed that you may actually reciprocate his own feelings. But since, it appeared, he wasn’t the only one in your heart, he had to put your best interest first. And in this case that included letting you speak with Lord Diavolo while he discussed things with his brothers.

“Obviously.”

“Well?”

“First, I want to hear what your thoughts are on this matter. It’s clear that Satan has feelings for them, but what about you Beel? You’ve been quiet this whole time.”

Satan and Lucifer both turned to look at Beel who was seated in one of the large chairs near the fireplace. He raised his head to look at his brothers, before sighing and sitting back in his seat. He knew how much they cared for you. He had even started to realize when Lord Diavolo had begun to take an interest in you as even his casual interactions became more friendly. And he had decided that he was going to keep his own feelings to himself, not wanting to interfere in his brothers’ happiness. Never once had it occurred to him that he may have been causing you to suffer as a result.

“I love them,” he replied, a soft blush spreading across his cheeks. Of course he loved you. How could he not? You were just so bright in his eyes, and you brought so much hope with you. When you had told him that you wanted to help Lucifer and Belphie makeup when you had first arrived, he didn’t doubt you for a second. Even though he barely knew you at the time, he just had this feeling you’d make it happen. And the closer the two of you grew, the more deeply he trusted you, the stronger his love for you became, the more he wanted to protect you and your happiness.

“Then I suppose that makes three of us,” Lucifer said, clearing his throat.

“So? What are you suggesting we do?” asked Satan.

“That depends on them, of course. But it seems the primary reason for their struggle is because they feel unable to choose between us.”

“I already confessed directly, have you?” Satan asked, staring Lucifer down.

“I have not, and I don’t believe Beel has either,” Beel shook his head in agreement, “I think that’s irrelevant though based on the conversation we just had in their bedroom.”

Satan scoffed, walking to the other end of the room to put some distance between himself and Lucifer. Of course his brother was right. It didn’t really matter who said what first, or even who you fell in love with first. All that mattered was what you wanted. And right now, he wasn’t sure what you wanted at all.

He had to admit it did sting a little when he realized you weren’t interested in him alone. Particularly since Lucifer was one of the other parties involved. The idea of being in any sort of romantic relationship which also involved Lucifer just made his skin crawl. But despite that, the idea of losing you entirely was even more painful.

“I believe we need to decide what we would like to do if they express an interest in maintaining a relationship with all three...four...of us. Would either of you have any objections to that?”

Beel immediately shook his head. He didn’t have any issues with a polyamorous relationship, not if that’s what you wanted. He just wanted to see you happy, and he knew it would make him feel better if you were with someone else who loved you just as much as he did when he couldn’t be there. The only other concern that crossed his mind was how Belphie would react, but he knew that Belphie adored you too in his own way, and you enjoyed his company as well. So there really wasn’t any reason for Beel to say “no”.

“Satan?”

“No objections, so long as we get private time with them too.”

“Then it seems we are all agreed. We will wait to see what they decide.”

————

You wrapped your arms around Dia’s neck as he lifted you up effortlessly and spun you around, the both of you laughing. He was so glad to hear what you desired, and more than happy to do what he could to make that wish come true. You hardly asked for anything for yourself, something he found absolutely charming, but now that you confessed to him that you wanted to be his? He’d give you the whole Devildom if you asked for it. Maybe even if you didn’t.

You hid your face in his neck as you hugged him close. You were pretty sure you must be dreaming at this point, but you didn’t care. You were going to make the most of this dream for as long as it lasted. You still had the other 3 of your beloved demons to talk to, but having Dia on your side made that not seem nearly as scary now. He had given you permission to be yourself, and he didn’t shame you for it, or guilt you into changing your mind. He just listened, and accepted you with open arms.

“I want to suggest we make a break for it, and run off together, but I think Lucifer and his brothers are waiting for us.”

You pulled back to look Dia in the eyes, and smiled at him. He was even more handsome up close, and you couldn’t help but run your fingers through his hair before resting your forehead against his. You wanted to savor this moment for just a little while longer. After you left your room, there was going to be a whole host of things to discuss and negotiate. It might honestly be awhile before you’d get to have some alone time like this with him again, but you knew he was worth it. They all were. You’d figure things out one way or another, of that you were certain.

“Alright, I guess I’ve put this off long enough.”

“I probably shouldn’t carry you into Lucifer’s study, should I?”

“Probably not,” you laughed.

Diavolo set you down gently, only releasing you from his arms when he was sure you were steady on your feet. He pressed a tender kiss to your forehead before offering you his hand, and entwining his fingers with yours. He beamed at you, when he caught you staring at your joined hands, lifting them up to kiss the back of the one he was holding. You blushed at the gesture, but couldn’t help but smile when your eyes met his.

“Shall we?” he asked, leading you to your bedroom door.

————

You peered sheepishly around the corner of Lucifer’s study door before entering the room, Diavolo slightly behind you, with one hand gently resting on your lower back to encourage you. As your eyes scanned the room, Lucifer, Satan, and Beel all turned to face you, various expressions of anxiety and excitement written on their faces. You turned back to look at Dia, and he just smiled and nodded at you, guiding you inside.

“Hey…” was all you managed to squeak out.

Not wasting a moment, Beel rose to his feet and wrapped his arms about your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. He kissed the top of your head, before resting his cheek against you.

“I love you,” he whispered, “and I’m fine with whatever you want to do.” You clutched at his shirt in return, relief washing over you. He didn’t ask you any questions, he didn’t pressure you to make a choice. He just supported you like he always did, the same support you gave him. You took a deep breath, breathing in his scent, before slowly pulling away so you could see his face. He smiled at you softly, and you just felt your heart melt. How could a demon possibly be this cute? you wondered.

“I love you too,” you replied, making his smile broaden. You hadn’t said it to him yet, and hearing those words in your voice made him want to jump for joy. Caught up in the moment, you briefly forgot about the others in the room with you, until Lucifer cleared his throat. You blushed heavily when you realized you were being watched, and you could hear Dia chuckling behind you.

Beel let you go, but immediately grabbed your hand and brought you to the chair he had been sitting in earlier. You took your seat, starting to feel a bit nervous again when he stepped back, even if it only was so Lucifer and Satan could have a chance to speak with you.

They were probably the two you were most anxious about speaking with. Their relationship was complicated enough as it was, you weren’t even sure they’d want to stick you in the middle of it.

“We’ll be outside if you need us,” Dia said, more to you than anyone else, as he offered you a smile. Beel nodded to you as well, before slipping out after Diavolo to give you some privacy with Lucifer and Satan.

Lucifer nudged the coffee table over so that it was positioned in such a way that both he and Satan could sit side by side in front of you. Even after he took a seat though, Satan remained a little ways away, silent and watching. Part of Lucifer wanted to chastise him for being stubborn and troublesome, but then he remembered that Satan was the only one to openly confess to you, and as such, probably had a lot more to discuss with you, preferably in private.

“I’ll keep this brief for now,” Lucifer began, returning his attention to you and holding the hand nearest him, “But I too, love you, deeply. And I hope you will accept me. I’m willing to do whatever is needed to insure your happiness.”

You had not been expecting such an open and forward declaration of love from Lucifer, of all demons, but you could see the unbridled passion in his eyes as he looked at you and waited for your reply. All you could do was nod your head, which made Lucifer smirk, pleased that he had rendered you speechless. He leaned forward, kissing you tenderly on the lips. It was only the briefest of touches, but it contained a promise of more that made your heart race.

“We will talk more later,” he said, as he gave you one final kiss to your forehead, turning to look at Satan before he left the room.

Satan kept his eyes trained on the door to Lucifer’s study until he heard the tell-tale “click” signifying it had been locked. He then sighed, his shoulders relaxing, as he turned to face you. His mask, the carefully crafted one he often hid behind in his attempt to control his emotions, crumbled away and you could see just how exhausted he appeared. Your heart ached knowing that you were to blame for that. He had been waiting for your response to his confession for several weeks now, and you had always managed to avoid answering him.

You knew you needed to apologize to him, before anything else, so you stood up and hesitantly moved to stand before him. Fortunately for Satan, even with as close as you were, you were unable to hear the way his heart thudded rapidly against his chest. Or if you did, you didn’t mention it. Instead, you simply reached out for his hands and held them tightly, rubbing your thumbs along his knuckles.

“I’m sorry, Satan. I was...I was scared. And I acted childishly and selfishly. I should have spoken to you…”

Your apology was cut short when you suddenly felt his lips crash into yours. Taking advantage of your surprise, he wrapped one arm around your waist, pulling you close, and with the other he gently cradled your head, holding you in place. It took a moment for your brain to catch up with what was happening, but once you finally realized you quickly looped your arms around Satan’s neck and deepened the kiss. You could feel him smiling against your lips when you did so, happy tears starting to spill from your eyes.

“I love you,” you whispered, when you finally broke away for air, “I’m sorry for not talking to you.”

Satan rested his forehead against yours, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of your neck, “I guess you’ll have to make it up to me,” he teased.

“I guess so,” you laughed, before pulling back to look him in the eyes, “Are you sure you’re ok with this? With Lucifer and everyone I mean.”

“I won’t lie and say I wouldn’t prefer to have you all to myself. But,” he paused, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear, “but I’m willing to work with you, to try to find a compromise we can all be happy with.”

“Really?” you could feel your tears threatening to spill again as your heart started to overflow with joy.

“Really. Will you promise me something though?”

“Of course, anything,” you said, wiping at your eyes, trying to fight off your tears.

“That you will talk with me if things change. And that we will be able to spend time together, just the two of us.”

Your vision blurred with tears, unable to hold them back any longer, “I promise. I’ll talk to you. About everything.”

“Good,” he whispered, gently kissing away your tears as they slid down your cheeks. You couldn’t stop smiling now if you even were to try. You threw your arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as you could manage, hoping to convey even a fraction of your happiness to him. When you felt him hug you back tightly, arms wrapped around your waist, you knew you had been successful.

Against all odds, and despite your fumbling attempts at dealing with your own emotions, you had managed to get everything you had wanted. Never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined things working out this way. Your arrival in the Devildom had been a lonely one. But you weren’t alone anymore. Not now, not ever.

#200 followers #anon request #request #gn!mc #poly mc #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me satan #obey me beel #lucifer x poly mc #satan x poly mc #beel x poly mc #diavolo x poly mc #obey me angst #obey me fanfic #poly angst #poly comfort

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kurtstinypurse · 4 years ago

Note

for the prompt meme thing: 18. celebrity!au + 9. strangers to lovers + “i’m rambling again, aren’t i?” pretty pls. for the rambling of it all and us etc

so this is way longer than that prompt post had in mind, but. I needed to give this the length it (and you) deserved!!

Kurt shouldn’t be checking his Instagram comments, and he knows it.

In fact, he makes a point not to, usually, because he knows what he’ll find - a sea of half-assed compliments and ass-kissing that, as nice as they are, all run together, and a scattering of rude remarks that will inevitably stick out to him and ruin his day.

And so he doesn’t check them, simple as that.

Well - until now, apparently, and he isn’t even really sure why he’s doing it as he opens the app, goes to his own page, clicks his most recent post.

Maybe he’s a masochist looking for reasons to feel insecure and beat himself up, or maybe he’s a narcissist and looking for an ego boost, or maybe he’s bored, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s home alone on a Friday night, two glasses of wine deep - but that part of it is pretty much business as usual.

But regardless, there he sits, scrolling through the comments on his latest picture - a snapshot of a model wearing his newly finished suit, floral and understated, a design he’s content with every stitch of.

As to be expected, the comments run together. There’s a lot of them these days, a larger following than he ever expected to get, back when he was an up-and-coming designer.

He’s not so up-and-coming anymore, though.

He’s established, made a name for himself and kept it, a big name, actually, becoming one of the most sought-after designers to create custom suits for events in New York - and, ironically enough, for most events in the Broadway world, for premieres and awards shows and the like.

It’s a small connection to the very world he once thought he’d be immersed in, but at the end of the day, he’s happy with what he has.

Kurt is scrolling, and he’s scrolling, and then- he pauses.

A blue verified check mark sticks out to him next to one username, and so he stops to read the comment, finding a name he recognizes, one he hadn’t expected to see.

blaineanderson ✔️ this is incredible! your designs are always great, but this one really captured me. fingers crossed I can wear one of your pieces one of these days!

Oh.

It’s interesting, actually, that Blaine hasn’t worn one of Kurt’s pieces before.

Kurt’s been aware of Blaine for a while now, vaguely tracking his progression from a stand-out off-Broadway to an understudy on Broadway to, finally, a full-fledged lead role.

He’s a hot topic, having been labeled as one to watch more than once, and Kurt knows Blaine attends the events and premieres Kurt often designs for, but they just...never crossed paths.

Or apparently they had, and Kurt’s just been missing it.

He blinks, and he reads the comment again, and he takes a long drag of wine, and he swallows, and he blinks, and he reads it again.

He realizes he’s smiling, down at his phone all alone in his apartment, no one to see it, no real reason to be doing it.

There’s no real reason why he clicks on Blaine’s profile, either, and there’s definitely no reason to explain why he clicks to follow Blaine, but if that wasn’t enough -

He clicks again, and he pushes away all room for logical thought, and he composes a message.

kurthummel: hi! this is really random, but I thought your comment on my post was really sweet, plus if you meant it, I’d love to design for you. anyways, just thought I’d say hello and thank you.

He presses his phone onto the couch cushion beside him, and he drains the rest of his wine, and he goes into the kitchen to refill his glass, and when he’s back - there’s a message there waiting for him already, much to his surprise.

blaineanderson: hey, kurt! this message was really exciting to see! I’ve actually been following your work for a long time now, and...wow. do YOU mean it? I’m not sure I’m worthy of wearing one of your designs, but at the very least, I’m so glad you said hi!

Blaine’s gracious, and he’s sweet, and Kurt already knows he’s handsome, and-

Kurt has had far too much wine.

And he has been single for far too long.

But Blaine… In a single comment and a single message, Blaine has managed to make Kurt feel more special than he’s felt in a long time, and he’s not sure why.

It’s probably the wine.

The wine is also why he writes back again - and another time, too.

kurthummel: of course I meant it! and why wouldn’t you be worthy? I actually happened to see the falsettos revival on opening night, and yours might be my favorite interpretation I’ve seen. I’m a big fan of the show, of course, and being such a lover of broadway, too… I’ve seen quite a few boots at this point, but your whizzer might have tugged at my heart the most. and your voice!

And your eyes, and your face, and your smile.

Shit.

The wine, the wine, the wine.

kurthummel: sorry, I’m rambling...

He wants to apologize for a lot more than that, but he manages to stop himself.

blaineanderson: no need to apologize! I...wow. again. you’re so kind, and it means even more because you’re so talented, too. your visions for your designs are just so thoughtful and original, especially that last one, and so I’m sure your ear is just as well-tuned so…yeah. wow. now I’m the rambling one! anyways, whizzer quickly became such a personal role for me, and I’m so happy to hear that shines through even a little bit.

And they kind of go from there.

They keep complimenting each other for a while - there’s probably a ridiculous amount of compliments traded, actually, but they’re both doing it, and it feels like a creative exchange, almost, on topic and essentially business-related. It’s meant to be a precursor to business, actually, hopefully culminating in a project for Kurt and an attention-grabbing, show-stopping outfit for Blaine.

But then they just...keep talking, about their careers and how they like the city, about how they got to the city and where they were prior, about the songs they like and the shows they’ve seen and the movies they’d managed to miss.

It turns out they have a lot in common.

They keep talking, as Kurt finishes off his bottle of wine, as he moves to the bedroom and crawls under his sheets, burrowing into the pillows and blankets with no light but his phone screen illuminating the dark room.

At some point, he realizes he’s smiling, and he’s been smiling, to the point where his cheeks hurt, actually, but he just kind of lets himself.

Just for tonight.

But then it’s the next morning, and Kurt wakes up to a message from Blaine, and the conversation continues, direct messages scattered through the morning, during Kurt’s commute to the office, at work when he has the chance to sneak a moment on his phone.

And he finds himself looking for those moments to sneak a read of a message or a reply to one, kind of whenever he can.

Which is exactly what he’s doing when his boss, Isabelle, pokes her head into his office.

“Why are you smiling at your phone?” she wants to know, raising a curious, knowing eyebrow when Kurt shoots his head up to look at her, phone clattering onto his desk. “A new guy?”

“There’s- There’s no guy,” he stammers, because there isn’t, at least not the way she means, and he’s not sure why his face is getting hot.

Blaine is nice, and Kurt is nice back. That’s all it is, really - it’s nice to have someone new to talk to, to get to know, especially when they’re so- well, nice.

Isabelle hums like she doesn’t believe him, and Kurt suddenly isn’t completely convinced he believes himself.

Blaine posts a new picture of himself on Instagram that night, a classy shot from behind as he watches the sun set over the city from a tall skyscraper’s balcony, and if Kurt falls asleep thinking about the narrow lines of Blaine’s waist and the way his ass looks in those pants, well.

Kurt’s only human, after all.

He’s not sure when things start to change, exactly.

He can’t pinpoint the moment, but their conversations go from friendly and sweet to something more - deeper, first, a gentle delve into Blaine’s complicated family, a brief conversation about Kurt’s mom and his stepbrother, and then just- just more.

He’s sitting at his desk at work, poking at his salad with his fork and grinning at a silly picture Blaine sent him when he realizes - he feels light, and he feels giddy, almost, and he feels towards Blaine a sort of way he thought he couldn’t feel, not anymore.

But he’s feeling it, and he’s been feeling it, and he realizes, too, that he just kind of knows Blaine feels the same way.

It’s in Blaine’s messages, and it’s in the compliments that reappear when Kurt least expects it, and it’s in the emojis he uses, and it’s just-

It’s everywhere, and Kurt sits there, and he blinks, and he blinks, and he chews thoughtfully for a moment, and he decides, yeah.

He’s not going to question it.

It’s that night that Blaine asks for his phone number, and it feels like a step, and Kurt can’t help but wonder if maybe Blaine’s going to ask him out for coffee or for dinner or for drinks - they live in the same city, after all, and they know a ton of the same people and essentially run in the same circles, and it would be so easy, so easy to just take another step forward and make this real.

Kurt should be scared of that - and in the past, he would be, with a string of brief failed relationships and over three years of being fully single in recent history. He has no reason to think - well, anything.

But he’s just...not scared.

He’s cooking dinner when his phone vibrates, and he reaches for it with his free hand, expecting to find some sort of question or invitation, but instead he finds-

A video.

Unknown Number: Hey, you. It’s Blaine. I know I haven’t told you about this, but it’s only because I haven’t really told anyone about it. But besides just singing on stage, I like to try my hand at arranging my own songs, too, and I felt like sharing this one with you. xx

The attached video is just about three minutes long, and it’s of Blaine on his couch, dressed down in a sweater that screams cozy, and he has a guitar in his lap, and he smiles shyly at the camera before starting to play and to sing.

It’s an upbeat sort of song, and Blaine sings about being a king, about thinking he has it all worked out but figuring out he’s wrong, about his kingdom falling apart but being okay, about being foolish and unexpectedly falling in love.

Kurt knows it’s not for him - he isn’t stupid.

But his heart is stupid, and it’s racing in his chest, and his mouth is stupid, too, because he can’t force away his grin, and his hands are worst of all, because when the song is over, he presses to replay it, and then he replays it again.

And then he picks up his phone, and he types.

From Kurt: Blaine, that was… I don’t know what to say! The lyrics were so clever, and you’re so wonderful at guitar, and you know how I feel about your voice. I listened to it a few times, honestly, and I already want to listen to it again. Sorry, I’m rambling again, too, aren’t I? I...guess I tend to feel kind of foolish around you, actually.

From Blaine: It’s funny, I wrote this song almost a year ago with nothing to apply it to. But it’s starting to make more sense, I think. Or maybe I’m foolish, too.

From Blaine: Besides, I love to listen to you ramble.

Kurt breathes out shakily, and he blinks, and he reads the message again, and he blinks, and he smiles.

He doesn’t hesitate, and he knows he won’t regret it.

From Kurt: Are you free tomorrow night?

Blaine’s reply is near instant.

From Blaine: For you? Anytime.

It’s only been a week, Kurt realizes the next night as he fusses over his hair in the mirror, picks an invisible string of a thread from his vest.

A mere week since he messaged Blaine, a mere week since Blaine messaged back, and yet-

It feels like so much longer, so much more than that.

Blaine has agreed to meet Kurt at a cozy, low-lit cafe a few blocks away, one of Kurt’s favorite spots that’s coincidentally one of Blaine’s favorites, too.

It’s funny, really, how connected they’ve always been, even when they didn’t know each other yet.

Kurt isn’t used to not wanting to cancel at least a little bit. On every first date he’s been on in the past handful of years, he’s had to practically force himself out the door, force himself to try, already knowing nothing will come of it.

But now, he has to force himself not to leave for the restaurant too early.

Of course, time moves forward as it inevitably does, and it comes time, and so Kurt heads out, and he walks down the street with a rush in his chest, pulling his jacket close around himself, ready.

A breath catches in his throat as he sees Blaine waiting outside the restaurant, rocking slightly up and down on the balls of his feet in an impossibly endearing nervous motion, a bouquet of colorful flowers in his hand.

Kurt can tell the very moment Blaine sees him, too, eyes locking with Kurt still about a block away, and Blaine positively beams, radiant and happy and beautiful, and wow, Kurt made him do that.

Once he gets close enough to say hello, close enough to see all of the colors and the softness and the warmth in Blaine’s eyes, close enough to touch, Kurt is pretty much done for.

He isn’t the type to kiss on the first date, particularly not before actually having the date, but he’s not the type to pay so much attention to his Instagram comments or send someone a direct message out of the blue, either.

As he pulls Blaine close and presses their lips together, Kurt finds he’s never been happier to surprise himself.

(A handful of months later, Blaine wears a Hummel Designs original to the premiere of the Waitress revival, an adaptation of the very suit he commented on the picture of - with Kurt on his arm, too, there to stay.)

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daresplaining · 4 years ago

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[ID: Excerpt from Zdarsky’s Daredevil run. Elektra and Daredevil are in prison, at the door of Matt’s cell, talking (Matt is in an orange prison jumpsuit and matching mask).]

Elektra: “You wanted to strike higher! No more beating up drug dealers! No more chasing liquor store robbers! This is what you’re looking for! This is the ceiling! There is nothing higher! How can you even--”

Matt: “It’s simple... I don’t trust you. You’re a murderer. You use people.”

[ID: Matt closes the door of his cell in her face and lies down on his bed.]

Matt: “You’re tired of the darkness? You want to work for the light? Prove it.”

Daredevil vol. 6 #25 by Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto, and Marcio Menyz

Like much of this run, I’ve had kind of a tough time grappling with my feelings on this issue, for various reasons that I won’t necessarily go into in this post. But I did want to talk about this moment, and my main takeaway from the Matt side of things.

One significant, recurring facet of Matt Murdock’s character is that he’s a colossal jerk. Not all the time, of course, but enough to be noteworthy. This is actually one of my favorite things about him. He can be petty, cruel, thoughtless, selfish, and there are several key runs in which you are prompted to root against him, or at the very least, to disagree with his behavior. I love that. I love how human it makes him, and I enjoy stories in which the protagonist isn’t always in the right. I’ve mentioned before that one of my main problems with Zdarsky’s run is that I dislike Matt, but it doesn’t feel like I’m supposed to. I haven’t been able to parse whether he’s intentionally being written as punchable, or if I just don’t like the writing. But regardless, Zdarsky did a great job of making me want to wrap my hands around Matt’s throat and squeeze the life out of him in this issue.

The context, if anyone hasn’t read it, is that Matt (as Daredevil, hence the mask) is in jail for accidentally causing someone’s death all the way back in the first issue of the run. He pled guilty and allowed himself to go to jail only because he felt comfortable knowing that Elektra would be protecting Hell’s Kitchen from this story’s Big Bads. Elektra then comes to him in this issue and asks for his help fighting the Hand, and this is his response: to tell her that he doesn’t trust her and that he thinks she’s a terrible person. I’m not going to claim this is new, because it isn’t. Matt also pulled this type of moralizing with her in Soule’s run, and it bothered me then too (note: that post was written before anyone knew that the whole arc was a dream sequence, but the point still stands). Maybe Matt is being intentionally petty here, because Elektra slept with him and then manipulated him and so he’s annoyed at her. Plus, one of the reasons Matt is so unlikeable in this current run is his repeated self-important moralizing at everyone around him, so this at least fits that pattern of behavior. And it’s extra galling here because it’s Elektra, and this is a genuinely cruel thing to say to her, particularly now, when she has just done him a huge favor.

I’ve had some issues with Zdarsky’s characterization of Elektra, but I think that just comes down to a difference in taste. It was clear from the beginning that he was basing her characterization on Frank Miller’s semi-canon Man Without Fear mini-series, and that became extra blatant in this issue, which literally starts with a flashback to a scene from that comic. And it happens that Elektra’s MWF characterization is... not my favorite. But I certainly can’t criticize Zdarsky for using it, other writers have too, and again, it just comes down to differences in interpretation. What matters here is that this version of Elektra suffers from some kind of inherent violent tendency that she has always struggled to control. And in general, over the years, one of the most common recurring Elektra plotlines has been her attempts to find peace and comfort and human connection in the cruel, brutal world in which she lives. When she returned from the dead the first time, she made a huge effort to put her life as an assassin behind her. Matt knows this. He was there. And many, many Elektra stories have focused on her empathy, on her own feelings of loss and trauma being pulled to the surface again and again, on the clash between the armor of pragmatic cynicism she has constructed in order to do her work and the ethical issues she faces as she performs that work. She is not cruel and she is not unfeeling, and Matt knows this because he knows her. She has helped him many times, she has had his back, she has saved his life, and at the end of the day, when you get right down to it, he loves her-- and this is the point where I give Zdarsky credit for making me want to strangle Matt because telling Elektra that he doesn’t trust her, and making her feel like she needs to prove herself to him yet again, is a nasty thing for him to do to her. And it’s very telling and painful that Elektra seems to take this criticism to heart, and it’s why her decision to act as Daredevil for him (as she says outright: in order to get him to believe in her) is bittersweet rather than just downright awesome. (To clarify: It is awesome. It’s just... an emotionally complicated awesome.)

Clearly, this was a pretty emotional read for me, and I’m grateful for it, because I’ve formed an emotional connection with so few issues in this run that it was wonderful to feel something, even if that something was just a burning desire to punch Matt in the face.

#Long post #Daredevil vol. 6 #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Elektra Natchios #Commentary #Matt no.

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edupunkn00b · 4 years ago

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Remy & Emile, Chapter 8: So It Goes

Word Count: 3193, Human AU, pre- and during Chapter 1 of Happily Ever After [ AO3 ] May Flowers Event Day 18 Prompt: Kalanchoe for persistence ---

The end of the quarter felt unreal. Remy couldn’t tell if he should be worried or impressed at how Emile managed to navigate his new split life. Half of him seemed to stand steady with one foot on the firm, familiar ground of final papers and end-of-year exams, while the other barely gripped the shifting sands of the college's response to Max’s behavior.

”I can't believe campus security cares more about the fu- laptop than everything else this creep did," Remy grit his teeth, growling into the phone, his frustration breaking through the calm reassurance he worked hard to project around Emile.

"Unfortunately this is a fairly typical pattern," Janus sighed. While grateful for the support and advice Janus was able to provide, Emile had insisted that Remy’s uncle never find out which of his friends so desperately needed his expertise. He allowed Remy to send Janus a copy of the police report only after manually redacting both his and Max's names, and would not even speak to Janus over the phone, instead only occasionally silently listening to their calls. Most of the time, though, like today, Emile avoided being in the room when they spoke and instead asked Remy to serve as a messenger.

The last thing Remy wanted to do was to force Emile into something he wasn’t ready for, so he readily accepted the role. This also allowed Remy a rare opportunity to let down his guard and share how angry he was at what Emile was being put through.

“Remy, property destruction, particularly of an expensive laptop, is easy to prosecute, simple to discuss, and doesn't open up large, complicated debates about intimate relationships between college roommates,” Janus continued. “It’s safe for the college. It leaves no room for interpretation or for freaked out phone calls from homophobic or puritanical parents if word of any ‘incidents’ ever got out.”

“But it's just not right. You should have seen E- his face after this asshole just ...," he huffed out a hard breath. This isn't helping, Remy. Get a hold of yourself.

"I know what you're feeling, Remy. I know." Remy could hear Janus repeatedly clicking a pen on the other end of the line. "Right now, we're going to play the hand we've been dealt. This guy's on academic probation for violating the school's code of conduct and he's been expelled from the dorms, correct?" Janus sighed again at Remy's grunt of assent. "And your friend still refuses to file for an order of protection? I can help you prepare the paperwork and leave the names blank, if that would reassure him."

"I'll talk to him again. I have a feeling he's going to say no, though." Remy gnawed at his thumbnail, shaking his head. "The creep’s on his way across the state. He doesn't want to poke the bear while he's running away." Remy grimaced, “And, I know, I know … convince him. He’s just …,” Remy sighed heavily, thinking about that lost look Emile was starting to get. “He’s already been through so much …,” Remy’s voice cracked. “I just can’t hurt him more by trying to push him to do something he doesn’t want to do. “

Janus hummed, “It sounds like you really care for him.” Remy could practically hear his uncle's raised eyebrow.

"I know what you're thinking, Uncle Janus. He's just a friend."

"Mm-hm.” Janus' tone couldn’t have been clearer if he’d said the word ‘smirk’.

"If you're just trying to get me to calm down ...," Remy finally sighed. "It’s working.” Remy's phone buzzed in his hand. "Oh, hang on ..." Remy checked the screen. It was his reminder that it was time to leave for his next class. “I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll talk to him about an order of protection and ... Thank you, Uncle Janus. And … thank you for, you know …”

“For keeping this from your father?”

Remy sighed again. “Yeah, that.”

“You do realize that’s he’s worked even more D.V. cases than I have? And I am confident he would treat your friend with respect and empathy.” Remy was silent. That’s part of why I’m reluctant to tell him. Janus waited him out for a few beats. “Very well. You’ve already given me your word that you will talk to him about it when you’re home for the summer.” Janus’ voice grew serious. Remy felt a little chill and nearly felt sorry for anyone who ever had to face his uncle in court. “I intend to hold you to that promise.”

“I will. Thanks, Uncle Janus.”

…

The first few weeks of the new school year were difficult. Despite what the staff in the Housing Office knew about what had happened last June, because Max had given up their shared room assignment for the new school year, going so far as to actually use Emile’s account to do so, Emile was dropped to the end of the long wait list for available dorm rooms. Technically homeless, and unwilling to take a break from school the way his parents had tried to convince him to do, Emile started his junior year as a house guest, or, rather, a suite guest with Remy and his three suite mates.

They were all remarkably supportive and friendly, but it was still a cramped space. Remy shared his closet and dresser with Emile, and each suite mate had a section of the storage unit in the common area. Remy left his allotment in that unit completely for Emile to use. The group had lucked out during the housing lottery the previous spring and had drawn one of the larger suites, and so the common room had a sofa large enough for Emile to sleep on.

Three weeks into the quarter, Emile had his own bit of fortune when Remy’s roommate formally moved in with his off-campus girlfriend, relinquishing his half of the room. Because Emile would be joining an established suite group, he was able to bypass the waiting list. The pair raced down to the Housing Office to get Emile officially listed as the new fourth suite mate.

Resolving Emile’s depression, however, was proving to be significantly more difficult.

Remy was able to get Emile out of bed each day, ensuring he ate regularly by dragging him to breakfast and making sure they met for dinner. They had lunch together most days, as well. Remy knew that Emile enjoyed flowers in the room, so they had spent a Sunday in downtown Bellingham picking out flowering plants for him to care for. That way, even on days when Emile didn't have morning classes, after breakfast he would have to stay up at least long enough to tend to his flowers. Emile knew that even the hardy Kalanchoe couldn't go too long without water. Remy would also encourage him to study at the same time he did, so Emile wasn’t at risk of a drop in his GPA and the loss of his scholarships.

But both men could see that Emile was just going through the motions of classes and teaching, uncertain how to move forward. Max had consumed the past four years of Emile's life. Emile's first step had been excising him like the cancer he was, and with Max moving across the state, that first task was proving to be the easy part. Figuring out how to put himself back together was going to take time.

One dreary Saturday in October, Emile was pulling his jacket from the closet and slowly working his arms through the sleeves. Remy was looking under his bed for a missing shoe. “Are you heading out?,” he asked, voice muffled.

“Yeah. I was going to check my mailbox and then …,” Emile shrugged, looking aimlessly around the room, “Homework, I think.”

“Ok, wait just a sec …” Remy leapt to his feet and opened his desk drawer, pulling out a sparkly jar and presenting it to Emile. “Take one of these before you go.”

Emile’s eyebrows knit together as he looked in the jar. Inside were dozens of little folded paper squares. He shook his head slightly at Remy,“What is this?”

“Take one and read it,” Remy prompted, a smile growing on his face.

Shrugging slightly, Emile placed one hand on the jar in Remy’s hands to steady it as he reached in. Remy hoped that Emile didn't notice how his breath caught in his throat and he shivered when Emile's fingers unexpectedly brushed against his. Emile retrieved a square and opened it, reading aloud, “ ’You are enough’,” his voice breaking at the end. “I don’t understand, Remy.”

Remy smiled softly at Emile, “Take another.”

Emile reached for another square, “ ‘Remember your meds & vitamins’, “ A confused smile spreading on his face, Emile retrieved another square. “ ‘The world is a better place because you’re around’. “ He took one more, “ ‘You are not defined by things that have happened to you’ .“ Emile blinked back tears that started to burn in his eyes. “What is this, Remy?”

“My brother sent me this post he saw on Tumblr the other day. It’s little messages to …, “ Remy shrugged, placing the jar on Emile's desk. “Just little messages to get you through a rough day. To keep you going.” He looked down at his feet, scrunching his toes, one foot still missing the shoe that was under the bed. “I know you don’t like social media, so I made an analog version.”

“And so you just made this for me?” Emile shook his head, “Why? When did you do this?”

Remy scratched his temple, pink blooming on his cheeks. “I sorta snuck out to the common room after you fell asleep last night.” Remy stepped a little closer to Emile. “You’ve … you’ve had a rough few months and …,” he bit his lower lip, reaching for Emile’s hand. “I - I just wanted you to know that I noticed and …,” Remy met Emile’s eyes, “And that I’m here for you and …,” He took a deep breath “And that I’ve started to - “

Emile closed the distance between them, reaching for Remy, placing one hand on either side of his face and pressing their lips together. Remy’s eyes opened wide for a second before he closed them, melting into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Emile’s waist, drawing him closer as Emile’s fingers wove through his hair, grasping the back of his neck. Emile deepened the kiss, bringing one hand down to Remy’s shoulders, holding tight.

Remy smiled, humming against Emile’s lips, “Oh, wow … Babe …,” before kissing him again in earnest.

Suddenly, Emile broke away, staring at Remy, trying to catch his breath and shaking his head. Remy’s heart froze in his chest at Emile's horrified expression, his mouth falling open. “I'm sorry ... I shouldn’t have done that to you," Emile whispered. "This is wrong - “ Remy was speechless, watching as Emile picked up his book bag and scurried to the door, “I have to go. See you later.”

Remy stared at the door as it closed, all words gone. He sat down on the edge of his bed. He curled in on himself, elbows on his knees, holding his head in his hands. He couldn’t stop the tears starting to drip down his face. A moment ago he felt like he was flying and now he was just drowning. How did things go wrong so quickly?

Remy kicked off his one shoe and slid all the way onto his bed, pressing his back against the wall and drawing his knees up and under his chin, hugging his legs. Emile was his closest friend on campus now that his roommate was gone. Fuck it, he's my only real friend. Did I just ruin everything? Emile left Max just a few months ago. Should I have stopped him? Remy brushed his fingers against his lips. As much as he tried not to, he’d been thinking about kissing Emile for such a long time and it had been even better than he’d imagined it could be.

Until it wasn’t.

Remy’s shoulders slumped and his eyes wandered the room. His gaze landed on his phone sitting on his desk. His uncle’s voice sounded in his head, ‘Give him the chance to help you.’ He was pretty sure this wasn’t what Janus thought he’d need help with, but Remy couldn’t think of anyone else - besides, of course, Emile himself - who he’d rather talk to right now. Leaning over, he grabbed the phone and started texting before he lost his courage.

𝙾𝚌𝚝 𝟼, 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟾 𝟷𝟷:𝟷𝟾 𝙰𝙼 𝙷𝚎𝚢, 𝙳𝚊𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐?

𝙾𝚌𝚝 𝟼, 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟾 𝟷𝟷:𝟷𝟿 𝙰𝙼 𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘, 𝚁𝚎𝚖𝚢! 𝙸𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞! :) 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎. 𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕? 𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚕𝚍𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚙 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚙?

𝙾𝚌𝚝 𝟼, 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟾 𝟷𝟷:𝟸𝟷 𝙰𝙼 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕. 𝙰𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚢? 𝙲𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞?

Remy had hesitated before hitting send, afraid that if his father was actually in the middle of something important he would still drop everything to take his call because that was just the kind of thing his father did. Finally, though, his need for the comfort of his father’s voice had outweighed his overthinking and he'd sent the message.

Remy’s phone began to buzz a few moments later, his father’s contact picture popping up. He swallowed and took a breath before answering, pushing back his tears. Answering the phone crying would only panic him. “Hi, Dad.” He clamped his lips together, unsure if he could say more without his voice cracking.

“Remy.” Remy closed his eyes and smiled. Even his father’s concerned voice was soothing right now. “You have asked to call me twice in your entire life. Once when you had a 104° fever in middle school and the school secretary thought you were exaggerating. And now today.” Remy heard a rustling sound and he could imagine Logan switching hands to adjust his glasses. “What can I do for you, Remy? Are you alright?”

“You don’t have anything to worry about, I swear, Dad. I’m safe. Everything’s fine. I just - “ Remy blew out a breath when his voice broke, unsure how to proceed. He laid back against his bed, closing his eyes and imagining he was home, resting his head against his dad's shoulder instead of the pillow.

“Remy, whatever is going on, I will help you however I possibly can.” Logan grew quiet for a moment. “But I do need you to tell me what is wrong.”

“Oh, Dad, it’s -“ Remy sniffled a little, feeling very, very small. “Ok, do you remember that friend I told you about over the summer?”

…

Emile speed-walked blindly through the Quad. What the hell had he been thinking? Remy was his friend. His sweet, protective, gorgeous, ridiculously earnest and geeky friend. Friend. Emile wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t completely oblivious. He had an idea that maybe Remy had actually started to develop a tiny crush on him but that did not give Emile the right to just kiss him! It didn’t matter how his heart ached whenever Remy got that sweet little smile. Or how right it had felt to finally hold him in his arms. He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. Emile knew he was too broken to ever be able to hold up his end of any kind of romantic relationship again. He was barely a passable friend. Kissing Remy had been selfish and stupid and so, so weak.

Maybe this was all ultimately for the better. The sooner he got Remy past his little crush, the better it would be. Remy could then move on and find someone better, someone undamaged to give his heart to. Emile's only real option was to push Remy away so he could go find someone who would give him all that he deserved. Someone who would give him what Emile couldn't. Emile knew he owed Remy everything. If it wasn’t for Remy, he’d be in Cheney, Washington right now, married to Max. Emile squeezed his eyes shut. Or worse.

The very least Emile could do was to let him go.

Gradually, Emile slowed his pace and looked around. His feet had led him to the Arboretum. He blew out a quick puff of air, starting down the path for the three-mile trail. Walking helped him think. By the time he’d finished this hike, he’d have a plan for how to apologize to Remy. Then he'd be ready to go back and face him. Emile shut his mind and his heart to the hurt he’d seen wash over Remy’s face as he’d left. It was a much smaller hurt than what he would end up doing to Remy if he let things go any further, making promises in kisses that his heart couldn't keep.

He just hoped Remy could forgive him. Of course he will. He’s Remy. Kind, thoughtful, wonderful Remy. At least he can forgive me.

…

Later that afternoon, Remy was sitting cross-legged on his bed, his Sociology textbook in his lap. He heard two taps on the door before Emile’s keys jangled on the other side. Dropping the book, Remy rushed to the door, calling out, “Hang on, I got it, Emile,” and opened it. He stood for a moment, chewing on his lower lip, staring at Emile before registering that he was blocking his way back into their room. “Oh, sorry, um, here - “ Remy jumped back behind the door, holding it open.

“Thanks,” Emile murmured, giving Remy a little half-smile and fighting to remember his planned apology. “I brought you this,” he said at last, handing him one of the to-go cups from the campus Starbucks he was carrying. “They made it extra hot, so it’s still drinkable.”

They stared at each other for a moment before each spoke at the same time.

“Emile, I’m - “

“Remy, we should - “

They chuckled, each not quite meeting the other’s gaze. Remy took a deep breath, “Why don’t we sit?”

Nodding, Emile sat on the edge of his bed, facing Remy’s side of the room. Remy followed his lead and perched on the edge of his own bed, taking a sip of his coffee as he did so. He smiled. “It’s a mocha. You remembered.” Emile smiled briefly, meeting his eyes before wincing and looking down at his own cup.

“Remy, I … ,“ Emile squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his earlier resolve melt at the edges under the warmth of Remy’s gaze. He took a deep breath. Just do it. Let him go. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, Remy. It was a mistake.” He sighed heavily. “Not an accident, but an error.” Emile finally looked up at Remy. “I’m so sorry. You have no idea how much.”

“Oh,” Remy wasn’t sure what he had been expecting Emile to say.

“I don’t have a lot of friends left after …,” Most of Emile’s friends blamed him for breaking Max’s heart and, in their minds, causing him to move across the state. Only his parents knew the whole truth. And Remy, of course. “But you know, even if I had a million friends, I wouldn’t want to do anything that could make me lose you.” Emile scratched at the edge of his coffee cup, hanging his head. “I hope … I hope I haven’t.”

“No, Emile, you won’t get rid of me so easily.” Tell him how you feel, Remy. His father's advice echoed in his head. He opened his mouth. I think I love you, Em … But the words died in his throat faster than he could form them. He sighed and pressed his lips together into a small smile.

Emile looked up at Remy, his face slowly blooming. “So we're still friends? Really?” Remy looked into Emile’s hopeful eyes and he felt his heart crack. “You really forgive me?,” Emile whispered.

Remy swallowed hard, and smiled, “Of course, Emile … there’s nothing to forgive.”

@tsshipmonth2020

#remy & emile #day 18: kalanchoe for persistence #remy sanders #emile patshki #remile #remile needed their own story to get the air time they desserved #<- you make *one* mistake #there is a big difference between mostly fluff and all fluff #mostly fluff is slightly angsty #ok real talk - this chapter is more than slightly angsty #mayflowersevent

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zoryany · 5 years ago

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Hey! Not sure if you’re still taking request for ficlet prompts but 67 with Luke + Padmé pleaseeeee!!! ❤️

send me ficlet prompts – optionally include characters67 – My father may look like the scary one, but it’s my mother you need to be afraid of.(you sent me this SO LONG AGO and I’ve been wanting to answer it SO BADLY but lacked the inspiration until now. it kinda got away from me, ended up being more skysolo than I intended, and I accidentally created a new AU but ahh, I hope it was worth the wait!)

Gripping the controls of the speeder tight enough for his knuckles to turn white, Han Solo shifted nervously in the pilot’s seat. His passenger, looking incredible as always in his simple yet finely made black tunic and trousers, had the audacity to appear completely casual and not at all bothered. How in all the hells was Luke so calm?

Han licked his lips and furrowed his brow. Was he sweating? Why was he so nervous? He could out-shoot any bounty hunter, out-fly just about any pilot and charm the slime off a Hutt – he could do this, too. It was just meeting someone’s parents. He was good with people, so this should be no exception, right? Why should this time be any different?

Oh, right, that’s why, Han thought to himself as the Palace came into view. This time, the parents I’m meeting just so happen to be in charge of the entire kriffin’ galaxy!

He really did seem to have a particular kind of luck with his romantic interests, didn’t he?

“Relax, Han,” his companion soothed, resting a hand on his shoulder and tracing gentle circles there with his thumb. “They’re really not as scary as everyone makes out. Trust me. They don’t bite.”

“Nah, but I’ve seen what your old man is capable of,” he replied without thinking, instantly regretting it when the hand on his shoulder tensed, slightly.

“Yeah.” Han could practically feel the conflict and guilt radiating from the seat next to him, and he was ready to cut in with profuse apologies and lay himself down at the mercy of the court, but a wry laugh from Luke stopped him. “He makes a point not to do anything… to enforce the will of the Empire at home, so you should be good.”

Han didn’t miss the hesitation or the irony in those words, but Luke was smiling, at least, so he relaxed a little bit.

“Besides,” Luke continued, shrugging, “Father’s not the one you need to worry about. My father may look like the scary one, but it’s really my mother you need to be afraid of. And, well, my sister too, probably. Father’s protective, definitely a force to be reckoned with, but it’s no match for the bond between a mother and her child, or the one between twins.” A pause. Then, almost as an afterthought, “They’re also both politicians. Nothing is more dangerous than words.”

The grin on Luke’s face had taken on a wicked quality, a slight level of menace in his voice, and Han suddenly found himself sweating profusely. “Tell me again why this was a good idea?”

Bright peals of laughter filled the speeder as Luke had a good chortle at his expense. Han grumbled as the kid nudged him playfully and moved his hand to the back of Han’s neck, fingers snaking their way into his hair. “Relax. I’m just messing with you. Mostly. It’s gonna be fine. I promise. I’ve got a good feeling about this.”

Oh. That boded well.

***

As Luke approached the private entrance at the back of the palace, he had to admit to himself that he shared at least some of Han’s trepidation. Not quite to the same extent, but a hint of dread prickled at the back of his neck nonetheless.

“Look, Han, I – I know I said I had a good feeling about this. And I know I assured you everything would be fine, but…” He hesitated. While he wasn’t nearly as eloquent as his mother or sister, he was unaccustomed to being as at a loss for words as he often found himself when he was around Han. Something about this smuggler made him feel more like a farmboy than the prince he’d been raised as. Normally, he didn’t mind, but this… this was important. “My family can be a lot. And, well, we’ve only known each other a few weeks, and all. So, I mean, if you’re not ready – ”

“Hey,” Han cut in, resting a hand on Luke’s shoulder. “I know how much this means to you – how much your family means to you. You think it’s time we all meet then I trust you.” He grinned, cheekily. “Don’t go thinkin’ you can get rid of me that easily, Your Worship.”

Rolling his eyes, Luke returned Han’s grin before nudging him with his elbow. “Alright, alright. Let’s get going, then. No point in putting it off.” He could still feel a healthy level of anxiety rolling off of Han, but his good-natured ribbing and confident stride made Luke feel a bit more at ease.

At least, it did until they stepped into his family’s sitting room and saw the look Leia was giving them.

“Y’know,” she said slowly, her voice smooth and silky, “I was sure I’d seen the height of your stupidity already.” She wore a dangerous smile on her face, one Luke knew far too well, and it only grew wider when he scowled at her. “I was sure you couldn’t do anything more idiotic than the time you took Father’s speeder out for a joy ride and thought he wouldn’t notice. But I think you’ve really outdone yourself this time, well done.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The look of delight on Leia’s face had quickly become the most accurate impression of an anooba playing with its meal before devouring it that Luke had ever seen. “Disappearing for weeks on end, leaving us nothing but a cryptic note, no hint of where you’ve gone and hardly a word from you over holocall, then showing back up here with this scruffy-looking scoundrel in tow?” Behind him, Han bristled, which really only served to feed into Leia’s amusement. “Honestly, Luke, I’m impressed. I mean it! The fit Father threw when he found out was spectacular, I haven’t seen anything like it since – well, the speeder incident, actually.”

Despite how entertained Leia seemed by all of this – and there was a vein of genuine amusement in her words – Luke could also sense her underlying worry. Nobody else would be able to detect the tension in her body, the shadow of concern in her eyes, the minute tremor in her voice… She was his twin, and he suddenly felt incredibly guilty for leaving her, even temporarily.

I’m sorry, Leia, he muttered through their bond.

Don’t you dare pull anything like that again, or I might have to strangle you.

With Han oblivious to their silent exchange, Luke decided to mirror Leia’s outward attitude as he raised a brow at her then turned to his “scruffy-looking scoundrel,” who looked like he was trying to decide whether to be terrified or irate. He ended up landing somewhere in the middle. “Han, it is my pleasure to introduce to you Her Royal Imperial Highness, Princess Leia Naberrie-Skywalker, my dear, lovely sister and twin. Leia, this is Captain Han Solo, my – ” He hesitated a moment, glancing at Han as the word caught in his throat. They never did decide what they were going to label their relationship as to his family. Han just gave him a small shrug and a short nod, prompting Luke to just pick something, for now. “He’s my companion.”

“Believe me,” Leia drawled, the delight on her face melting into a much colder, calculating look, “the pleasure is all mine.” Her eyes were piercing as she looked Han up and down, causing him to shift under her gaze. They lingered for a moment as she came to whatever conclusion she had about him before flicking them to meet Luke’s. “Mother’s expecting you in her parlour. Better not keep her waiting.”

All the warmth had left his sister’s voice, by now, but he could still feel her quiet concern. Leia sent him a silent Good luck as Luke led Han towards his mother’s chambers, a fresh knot of anxiety tying his stomach into knots as they went.

***

“Well,” the kid said quietly next to him, “that’s one down.”

Han rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if maybe he should’ve turned back when Luke gave him the chance, but tried to cling to a shred of optimism nevertheless. “If your mom’s anything like your sister, maybe I would’ve had more luck meeting your dad, first. Wasn’t expecting to get eaten alive like this.”

Luke chuckled darkly and shook his head. “No, trust me, it’s for the best that Father’s off-world until tonight. Leia’s all bark and no bite and Mother… you do have to earn her respect, but she’ll give you a fair chance to do so. Father, on the other hand…” Pausing a moment, he bit his lip while searching for the right words. “Well. You said yourself. You’ve seen what he can do.”

He knew full well how much Luke idolized his father. Pure admiration flooded his baby blues any time he brought him up, especially when he’d neglected to share with Han the little detail of his true line of work. It was unnerving, now, to see the discomfort in his face as he discussed Vader, but Han did have to admit to the relief he felt in knowing Luke’s devotion didn’t overshadow his moral code.

They reached the door to the Empress’ parlour before Han had a chance to say anything in response, so he just sighed and glanced down at Luke. “Well, I s’pose it’s now or never.”

Nodding in response, the kid gave the door two sharp raps before pushing it open and leading Han into a large, pleasantly decorated room. The floor was covered in a plush, bright crimson carpet except for directly in front of the fireplace at the far end of the room, which was lined with dark, smooth stones. Artwork lined the walls, from lavish paintings of lush worlds to intricately woven tapestries to complicated abstract works Han would never understand even if he dedicated the rest of his life to interpreting them. The room was furnished with two large, gold-trimmed sofas and a matching armchair that resembled a throne, all encircling an ornate golden table. Han felt entirely out of place, surrounded by this much luxury; even Luke didn’t look quite at home in his surroundings.

The woman before them, however, matched the decor perfectly. Dressed in a flowing, deep blue gown and a sheer, silvery cape, with a golden circlet perched atop the chestnut curls that cascaded past her shoulders and down her back, she stood regally in the centre of the room, awaiting their approach. Trying to keep himself from staring, Han fell into a kneeling position next to Luke, who was the picture of contrition.

“Mother. I have returned home, and I beg your forgiveness for my unannounced absence.”

Having spent the first several weeks of their relationship unaware of his royal status, Han had never imagined Luke’s voice could sound so regal. It sure was a far cry from the naive, chattering kid who’d struck up conversation with him in a run-down shipyard on Ord Mantell. He had to admit, the change was a little spooky.

A few moments passed, feeling like hours, considering how nervous he was, but it wasn’t long before the woman strode forward and wrapped her arms around Luke, pulling him up. “Luke!” she breathed, pulling him into an embrace. Han suddenly felt like he was intruding on something very private. “My son, it’s so good to have you home.” She pulled out of the hug and gripped his shoulders, a stern look etched in her features. “Don’t you ever do anything like that again! If something had happened to you – What in the stars possessed you to do something so rash?”

Luke never did tell Han why he’d run in the first place. Sure, he’d asked, but the kid would get evasive every time he did so eventually he dropped the subject. Under his mother’s gaze, now, it was a lot more difficult to dodge the question, but Luke still seemed determined to do so.

“Oh, sweetheart,” the Empress sighed, brushing her fingers through his hair. “We can discuss this later, when your father returns.” Luke stiffened but bowed his head in acknowledgement. “Now! Are you going to introduce me to your guest, or were you planning on leaving him to kneel at our feet all day?”

Han’s head snapped up and he met Luke’s eyes, who nodded at him to rise. “Mother, this is Captain Han Solo of The Millennium Falcon. I’ve spent the last several weeks in his company, and the two of us have grown… close.”

He could practically feel the kid’s cheeks flush at his own choice of words. Thankfully, the Empress herself appeared to be plenty amused, and she offered Han a brilliant smile that left him somewhat weak in the knees. He could see what Luke meant about her being the dangerous one. There was something so very disarming about this woman and her charm, and he’d met enough charming women to know to be on his guard.

“Truly, I’m charmed, Captain,” she said, voice ringing like a bell as she slipped into formality. “Luke has a gift for befriending the most… fascinating of people.” After offering him another bright smile, she turned to face her son. “Luke, go prepare the guest room, please? If he’s to be staying with us, he’ll need proper accommodations.”

“Oh, that’s really not necessary, Majesty,” Han sputtered, “I got my ship, and – ”

“Nonsense!” The word was light and pleasant, but she somehow infused enough authority into it that he knew there was no point in arguing. “As a friend of my son’s, you are welcome in our home.”

Han was sure they had servants or droids who could set up the bedroom, and even if they didn’t, he was more than capable of doing it himself. He didn’t see why she was sending the Prince to do it. “Well, alright, if you insist, but Luke doesn’t have to set up for me, I’m happy to get it myself.”

“No, no, you are our guest, and we your hosts.” Her deep eyes glimmered with something dangerous. “My son has brought you here, and it is proper etiquette for him to see to your comfort here. Luke? If you will?”

Luke wore a somewhat confused expression that he turned from his mother to Han, but his hesitation was brief as he bowed slightly and muttered “Yes, Mother,” before he set off towards the parlour door.

Turning to follow, Han was frozen in place by a sharp tut from the Empress. “Not yet, Captain Solo. Sit. Relax. I’ll have some tea brought, and you and I can get acquainted.”

From the doorway, Luke shot an alarmed glance in their direction and looked, for a second, as though he was about to protest and insist on staying, but his mother’s expression brooked no argument. Pressing his lips together in a thin line and putting as much reassurance into his eyes, Luke gave Han a final nod before disappearing from sight.

Now alone with the Empress, in her domain, the smuggler couldn’t help but feel he’d landed in a krayt’s den and was about to find out just how dangerous this woman could really be.

After gliding towards the lavish armchair and perching on it, she indicated one of the sofas and stared at him with a pleasant yet sharp look. “Sit,” she repeated, and Han’s legs complied, of their own accord. As he did so, a protocol droid filed in and set down a tray carrying a steaming teapot, a bowl of sugar, cream, and four teacups. “How do you take your tea, Captain?”

With a lot of alcohol, he thought.

“Black,” he said, and she poured him a cup. He muttered an awkward thanks as she handed it to him.

When she’d fixed her own cup and taken a sip, she zeroed in on him, expression growing hard. “Now, Captain, I will be blunt.” Her voice was cold in a way it hadn’t been before, bearing an edge to it that caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand at attention. “My son has a heart the size of the galaxy itself, and he’s prone to giving it away far too easily. That isn’t to say I do not trust his choices, nor do I believe him to be a poor judge of character. He has faith in people, believes in their strengths and capabilities and their capacity to do good.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen that part of him,” Han agreed, thinking back to all the down-on-their-luck Mantellians whose lives were just a bit more comfortable now, thanks to Luke.

The Empress nodded gravely. “Then I’m sure you know how easily he places that trust in those who may not deserve it. In the past he has been drawn to… the wrong sorts of people, and it’s gotten him into trouble more than once.”

Those words were pointed, they referred to him, Han knew, and he found himself scowling at the most powerful woman in the galaxy. “I can assure you, Your Majesty,” he ground out, “that I have no intentions of being the wrong sort of person for your son.” That would cost him, he was sure, but he felt the need to defend his – and Luke’s – honour, even if it meant snapping at the kriffin Empress herself.

Raising a single brow, she regarded him with an appraising stare, dark eyes seeming to burrow right into his soul. “See that you aren’t,” she said evenly. “There are precious few things in this galaxy, Captain, that I treasure more than my children and their wellbeing. So long as you are in Luke’s favour, you will be treated well, I assure you, but if you bring him to harm…” The threat lingered in the air for a moment. He got the message.

He maintained her gaze and held his ground. “Look, lady,” he said, far braver than he had any right to be, “I ain’t suicidal, I’m not about to go messing with your family, and I’m definitely not gonna hurt Luke. Don’t think I could handle his face if I did – looks too much like a kicked puppy when he’s just a bit disappointed, can’t imagine it when he’s genuinely hurt. Besides, seems to me he’s got enough pain in his life without me contributing to it. Now, I may not be some high and mighty noble or anything, and what the kid actually sees in me is anybody’s guess, but, dammit, he’s got me carin’ about him, and anyone who can do that is worth protecting, in my books.”

Well, Solo, you had a good run. Always knew that mouth of yours would be the end of you, just never expected to go quite as dramatic as running it in front of the Empress and getting executed. If only Lando could see you now…

Silence echoed deafeningly in the chamber, which now felt far larger than it actually was, ready to swallow him up. The Empress was staring at him, eyebrows raised, gaze flicking over him again. After what felt like an eternity, the barest shade of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Very well, Captain Solo. Perhaps you will do well here, after all.” For the first time she’d spoken to him, her voice carried genuine warmth.

All of a sudden, he could breathe again, a wave of relief crashing over him as he sank into the sofa and sighed. “Thank you, Your Majesty. I’ll do my best.”

“See that you do.” A pause. “Now!” she chirped, “Luke should be finished with your accommodations by now. I’ll send Threepio to fetch him and my daughter, and we can all get acquainted properly over some tea. Yes, I think that sounds lovely.”

There was no way anyone he knew was going to believe this. He wasn’t sure he even believed it himself. But, sitting here in the Imperial Palace having tea with the Empress and her children, he couldn’t help but wonder just what he’d gotten himself into this time…

#luke skywalker #padme amidala #luke and padme #han solo #skysolo #padme naberrie #padme survived #vader killed palpatine #somehow convinced her to become empress #twins are royalty #and of course luke is restless and runs off to hook up with han #because he's luke and an idiot #beaurozguru #lol this is over 3k words long #i did NOT mean to go that hard lmaoooo #my writing #star wars fic #imperial royal skywalker family au

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ganymedesclock · 6 years ago

Text

Something I think is a really interesting exercise is that player-controlled characters that don’t speak up much / at all (e.g. Chell from Portal) still actually have what constitutes a canon personality. They’re often perceived as blank slates, but they’re really not.

There are several things that, in a meta sense, will tell you about a character you’re controlling.

1. The hard parameters of the game.

Have you ever noticed, in Zelda games, there are a bunch of characters you’re incapable of attacking? No matter what lethal implements you flail in their vicinity, Link will never launch a damaging or killing strike on them. There are also some regions in-game where you, the player, are unable to make Link draw his sword.

Thing is, the guards do not corner Link upon entering a town and confiscate his sword. His equipment is not explicitly magic and only able to harm monsters. In fact, the divide between “enemy species” and “friendly species” is basically arbitrary- in Twilight Princess, for example, you can attack gorons with impunity right up until they become allies.

This makes it clear that Link is consciously staying his hand. While it’s a very simple statement to make about a character- Link will not consider attacking those he perceives as civilians or allies- it’s still a clear statement. Link might be a punk sometimes (the game does gleefully give you options to mess with people, such as parading around near-naked or standing on tables in Breath of the Wild or specifically taking out your lantern in Barnes’ bomb shop in Twilight Princess) but he is driven by a hard line of ethics. Furthermore, IIRC only a handful of games will allow you to steal and then, at specific opportunities. In Skyward Sword, an entire sidequest is started because, upon breaking someone’s chandelier, the plot-furthering thing to do is to go talk to the owner directly, suggesting a Link who isn’t morally opposed to cutting and running when someone’s justifiably mad at him, but who is more likely to (the reward and emphasis is heavier on) own up and apologize.

Out-of-universe, we can’t do these things because they’re not programmed into the game. In-universe, though, there’s actually nothing stopping them, making it a deliberate action on their part. This also will involve things like how the story progresses- to use Twilight Princess again as an example, while Link needs Rutela’s blessing to get the third fused shadow, and thus pragmatically needs to save her son, he also refuses to talk to Ilia about her memory or try to get her to come with him back to Ordon before saving Ralis. This suggests that his motivation is in part personal compassion.

Later events in the story also would suggest Link has a lingering grudge towards both the doctor and the knights that refused to help in the situation- advancing the plot requires you to threaten the doctor with his tab and then search his house behind his back and if you’re in wolf form in Castle Town- only available after getting Ralis to Kakariko- Link isn’t afraid to snap at the knights, though he doesn’t bite or kill them. He’s more willing to get rude with someone who offends his personal sense of ethics.

Furthermore, there’s a matter of how obstacles are presented to you, and what you’re encouraged to do in response. Zelda is a series that focuses on personal adventure, a great deal of travelling long-distance, puzzle-solving and dungeon-crawling. You’re rewarded for being inquisitive, clever, helping others, and poking around. While the sidequests aren’t mandatory, you will only get Link at his absolute best and brightest when he’s been roaming the wilderness and doing favors for people. And you also virtually never have a consistent home base to return to- most games make it clear you’re basically leaving home and staying away for a good period of time when you revisit. So an interpretation on Link that reads him as someone who lingers at home heavily and doesn’t want to leave, ever, is unsupported by canon.

This can even be sneakier than something tacitly unavailable to the player- consider an NPC or party member talking at great length in a somewhat uninteresting manner. Does the dialogue go all the way with perfect legibility? Does it scroll onward into the background, or get interrupted? Any of those options tell us something about the character and their relationship to the speech. Are they listening? Are they zoning out? Are they expressing active contempt or implicitly cutting off the speaker with a gesture or expression?

2. Superfluous Actions

This is technically under the umbrella of game parameters, but I wanted to give this some special attention. Unfailingly, there are things a player character will do either without the player’s input, or that the player can direct them to do with no obvious merit to them.

Abzu, as a game, has a large number of basically superfluous controls. The “interact” button, while useful, also lets out a chirp, and not only does this have a neat visual effect in other areas, if you have a drone accompanying you (as you do several times throughout the game) making the Diver chirp with nothing to interact with prompts the drone to chirp right back, even varying how many times they chirp in a way that seems to respond to how many you gave them, albeit not on a one-to-one ratio. Which is absolutely adorable.

Another button lets you do flips; a third allows you to ‘boost’, which can be used to jump out of the water. You can ride on the back of larger sea creatures. Pretty much none of these are actually required for the advancement of the game. You don’t have to sing to the drones, you certainly don’t have to repair all of them you find. Riding a creature is never necessary but in the steam version of the game you get multiple achievements for doing so. You can sit and meditate and watch the fish as long as you want.

All of this creates a very playful, compassionate, and inquisitive personality for your player character, the Diver. What’s more, encountering a dying shark at one point in the game, Diver, unprompted, will come over to rest their hand on the creature until it passes, and then bow their head and move on.

In Hollow Knight, at several points you’re able to sit beside someone; one of which is the last time, in-game, you’ll be able to see a character who is implied to either die, or simply abandon his weapon and wander off alone afterwards. Like the Abzu example, you’re given an achievement for sharing this moment with him. There’s no tangible in-game reward. And yet the game gives you the option to do so, when that option is not normally present. It tells us, whether we as players take or leave that option, Ghost- the character- considers this moment and this person special enough to at least consider something they don’t normally do.

Some superfluous actions can be very subtle. Things like a camera moving on its own, implying the character’s attention is pulled to something the player didn’t actively choose to look at. In several games in the Zelda series, Link will turn his eyes and head towards certain things of notice, which can tell us, if we’re stumped on a puzzle or how to proceed, that Link may have quietly figured it out faster than we did.

3. Flavor text

Unless the text is actively being provided by another party in-game, it’s fair to assume any way something is described reflects how a character feels about it. For example, in Hollow Knight, the in-game bestiary has comments added by several other parties, but it also has succinct explanations at the top of what the creature is. These comments seem to lack much personality compared to the deeper elements in the journal, but on one particular entry, the Sibling, the Hunter’s comments on the bottom make it clear he has never actually seen this creature before- while the top entry not only describes it, but conveys rather intimate knowledge about its origin.

This stands out, because the player character, Ghost, is familiar with the Siblings- they are basically the lingering spirits of dead vessels in the location Ghost was raised and abandoned. Since, again, the Hunter implies he’s never been to the bottom of the Abyss, it’s likely Ghost is even the one who specifically labeled that particular entry the “Sibling”.

In Breath Of The Wild, food is a major game mechanic as the primary healing and stat-buffing item, but, we are also given lavish and detailed descriptions of the flavor profile of each. There’s basically no two ways about the obvious evidence that this particular incarnation of Link, at least, is a very dedicated and educated foodie- though, apparently, not someone with such a sophisticated palate that he won’t scarf down something “so gross you can’t even look at it” or made with inedible ingredients.

This can even tie into the game parameters thing- given the simplicity of the cooking system in the game, it’s clear that Link’s experienced hands are guiding the player- we might pick a handful of ingredients and toss them into a pot, for example, but, for Link, it’s clear that he’s going through a lot of trouble to cut, pare, fricassee, saute, garnish, and plate his dishes appealingly, even with limited equipment. You can interpret that a lot of ways- are we assuming Link is the type who lovingly handcrafts tools from the materials he finds to take his cooking to the next level and carries a cooking kit with him regularly, or is he more the type who waited until he made it to a town to get distracted by a pretty knife set?

While I just finished talking up the game parameters as a form of characterization, you do have to make some accommodations for what makes a fun and streamlined game experience. The creators of Breath of the Wild didn’t feel the need to complicate the cooking system with other tools besides a big metal pot- but in-universe, we can enrich our read on the character because Link is clearly not just stewing, but cooking a bunch of different ways that would call for specialty tools, so, how and where is he getting them? That’s more of an interesting subject for personal interpretation, but, that’s one of my favorite parts of this- what canon gives us virtually never creates a complete picture, but it will virtually always point us in an entertaining and interesting direction. Perceiving Breath of the Wild’s Link as a blank slate, I might not think about his relationship with cooking tools, but looking at canon and that very few of the created meals look like campfire food- many of the dishes are on plates. Which raises the obvious implication Link is going out of his way to acquire dishware, carry it around with him, and clean and reuse it. (Even if, in a more realistic setting without a vast, inter-spatial inventory, that dishware would probably look more like travel carry containers, like cheesecloth packages tied with twine, jugs and flasks for elixirs, beverages and soups, wooden and metal boxes)

And that can be super useful for a fanfiction, roleplay, or other writing scenario- it implies something about Link’s daily routine. I could write a scenario with him carefully whittling a skewer, or scrubbing dishes in a bubbling stream. And that he’s so interested and motivated by food, he probably does carry soap or something else to keep his hands and plates clean, given Hyrule’s level of technology he probably knows what germs are, and someone so proud of their cooking wouldn’t sicken themselves or potential dinner guests by using unclean containers. It becomes a springing ground for a lot of other headcanons.

4. Tone of the game

Every game has certain attitudes and worldviews that emanate through the setting, as well as a sort of overarching atmosphere that presides over the story. While it can be funny to imagine the protagonist of a moody, atmospheric piece as jarringly contrasting it, unless given evidence to point to that, it’s not going to be canon-supported.

Chell, from Portal, is resistant to many of these forms of characterization. She provides no flavor text, she doesn’t have a lot of superfluous actions besides tacitly refusing to catch Wheatley in early Portal 2, and while we do have the benefit of a bonus comic, Lab Rat, that gives some insight into her behavior, as well as the questionably accurate portraits that suggest how Rattman, at least, sees her, there’s not a lot.

However, it’s pretty much fair to assume that she’s a smart aleck- not just because the game gives you plenty of opportunities to, and in some situations, runs on the premise that you will try to spite and disobey the various people controlling Chell’s situation at the time*- but because the entire tone of both games is primarily snarky. Everyone you run into is some flavor of wise guy. Everybody’s a little/lot sarcastic, everybody’s a little/lot eccentric.

The one way that Chell obviously breaks from the mold is she’s not highly talkative- and this is impossible to miss because her refusal to talk is called out canonically all the time.

So we can guess that Chell being a wise guy- reinforced by her other actions- is per setting standard, and she’s probably a little weird, because everybody here is, we can tell that she doesn’t love to hear herself talk or is especially prone to monologuing like many of the other characters in her setting, because this contrast is actively called out, and makes her noteworthy and interesting as the protagonist.

Comparatively, Ghost from Hollow Knight is characterized as a very willful and brash creature through their environment- many of the areas in the game are pointed to as appealing to those that seek glory and aren’t afraid to put their life on the line to get it. While challenging the Mantis Lords is essential to proceed into Deepnest, that is not made apparent anywhere besides the Lords’ throne room themselves; while talking to Quirrel outside the village gates has him muse that Ghost probably intends to challenge the Lords.

* while you do get achievements- something I pointed to earlier in the Abzu example as an inclination something is more in line with their personality- for listening to GLaDOS and Wheatley to a fault, those actions end in Chell’s immediate death- since in-universe she is mortal and has no means of respawning, it’s fair to assume those are dead ends and thus, not actions she takes, just something the writers threw in because they thought it would be funny.

Basically a good rule of thumb for all of this is evaluate how its framed and the context- there is no one gospel of characterization here and especially in more meta frameworks like Undertale, characterizing Frisk requires building a comprehensive read on how to separate Frisk as their own person from you, the Player, and your will- since you have an acknowledged in-universe presence and the ability to override Frisk’s inclinations.

#writing ruminations #readmore

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