#mostly fluff is slightly angsty

[bloombird]

I stayed up reading X male! reader story on Quotev last night. Cringe but indulging. How about you?

[monzabee]

prison for life - mv1

masterlist ||

Summary: The one where if anybody hurts you, Max is going to prison for life.

Pairing: max verstappen x pregnant!reader 

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: fluff, pregnancy, mentions of throwing up, cursing, kinda angsty in some places, jos verstappen

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i’ve been in such a max mood recently that is actually shocking to me, but i just needed some fluffy anything after working on smutty pieces for weeks. i got this idea in my dream and honestly i think it turned out better than i could’ve imagined!! feedback is always appreciated, and my requests are currently open if you want to check that out, i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

If you would have to choose a word to describe Max, it would be ‘overprotective’, because that’s what he is. It’s not a bad thing, per say. He isn’t overbearing or controlling at all, but he is simply overprotective. And if you thought he was overprotective when the two of you were dating or when you first got married, you have to admit that you were not, at all, prepared for his protectiveness when you told him that you were pregnant. Apart from his initial meltdown over becoming a dad, or rather becoming like his own father, Max has been pretty chill about the whole thing – with the exception being your safety, of course. The underlying problem isn’t the fact that you’re some sort of daredevil because you’re not, the problem is the fact that Max believes that everything is out to get you. 

The olives you wanted to eat for breakfast? Choking hazard.  

The candles you bought for the living room (to be purely decorative, but still)? Fire hazard.  

The pool lounger Victoria thought would be a cute addition to the pool? Drowning hazard.  

The seatbelt in his car that is surprisingly tight? Could be all three, according to Max, given the right (or wrong) circumstances.  

So, yeah, maybe he wasn’t that scared of becoming a dad, but he was surely scared of you being in danger. That’s why you agreed to stay back for the most races this year – you knew he didn’t need to worry about you or your baby’s safety on top of the stress he had to deal with during the usual racing weekend. That was until you realised how much you would miss your boyfriend after almost a month of not seeing him due to a triple header. And so, you did the thing any person with a common sense would do – flying out to see him without telling him beforehand, because what’s the fun in that?  

The sheer look of shock on his face might be the funniest thing you’ve ever seen when you meet him in his driver’s room, but of course Max doesn’t share the same sentiment as you. Because all he chooses to focus is the fact that you were on a plane – a 0.23% risk out of very 7.7 million flights each year, but still. He spends at least half an hour, just checking you over and assuring himself that you and the baby are fine; at some point he decides that you need to go to the nearest hospital to get an ultrasound just to make sure the baby is okay, but you tell him to fuck off and calm his tits down in the kindest way possible. And that’s how the two of you end up on the small couch in his driver’s room, with his arms around you as you lay between his legs, his hands splayed on the swell of your stomach as he caresses the skin through the fabric of your dress. His voice is low as he tells you about his day, mostly media duties since it is only Thursday, and how he thinks putting a cat tree in the nursery is a bad idea (that was your idea initially, but you can see how having two rumbunctious cats hang out in the nursery could cause problems). 

“I also thought about something else,” he mumbles, suddenly busying himself with the flower pattern of your dress instead of looking at you.  

You raise your brows slightly, motioning him to continue, but let out a huff when he doesn’t do so right away. “Come on,” you whine softly, “tell me what it is Maxie.”  

“I don’t want him to get into karting.” His words are soft, mumbled, and most definitely final. You know how Max can be when he puts his mind into it, and this particular topic has been a discussion in your household ever since the two of you found out that you were having a boy. “I don’t want him to go through what I went through.” 

Letting out a soft exhale, you motion Max to six next to you on the couch. “He won’t,” you assure him, voice soft as you give pleading looks at him, “you’re not your father, Max.” He gives you a look that basically begs for you to not dwell on the topic, but you continue despite the look he gives you, “And what if he wants to get into karting? Are you going to tell him no?” 

Max tries his best to ignore the knowing look you give him, knowing very well that he won’t be able to ever say ‘no’ to his son, who already has him wrapped around his finger. “I might do that, you never know.” He grumbles, hiding his face in your hair – though the soft giggles coming from you manages to put a soft smile on his face. “You’re supposed to agree with me, you know, we have to be a united front.”   

“We’ll discuss it when the baby comes, until then, I’ll be the voice of reason.” You emphasise, poking him at his bicep to convey your point. “You feel better now?” 

“Kinda,” he murmurs, leaving small kisses onto the exposed skin of your shoulder as he keeps on murmuring against your skin, “I would feel better if I knew you stayed in bed all day, relaxing.” 

With that, you choke a loud laugh, and motion him to stand up as you try to do it yourself – though, of course, he has to help with the baby bump being in the way of you doing any sort of physical activity. “You’re funny, let’s go get me ice cream.”  

The only response you get back is a confused look from your husband, his head tilted to the side as he eyes you warily. “What does that have to do with anything?” 

“Um, excuse me?” You raise an eyebrow, “Your son,” pointing to your stomach, you emphasise your words, “is craving ice cream right now.”  

Max’s eyes soften instantly, and a smile creeps across his face. He nods, taking your hand gently as he helps you up. “Well, if my son wants ice cream, then ice cream he shall have.” 

You giggle as you both make your way out of the driver’s room, Max's hand never leaving yours. The paddock is bustling with activity, but for a moment, it feels like it's just the two of you, cocooned in your little world. As you approach the nearest concession stand, Max’s protective instincts kick in once again. “Is this ice cream stand safe? How long have they been here? Do they have the proper health certifications?” 

You roll your eyes playfully. “Max, it’s ice cream, not a five-course meal. I’m sure it’s fine.” He sighs but nods, deciding to trust your judgment. After all, you did manage to fly all the way here without incident and somehow alerting him. You both get a generous serving of your favourite flavours, and as you sit down to enjoy your treat, you feel a sense of normalcy and contentment wash over you. 

Max watches you with a tender expression, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and worry. “I know I can be overprotective,” he says softly, reaching out to brush a stray hair from your face, “but it’s only because I love you so much.” 

You smile, leaning into his touch. “I know, Max. And I love you too. But sometimes, you need to trust that everything will be okay. We’ll figure things out together, just like we always do.” 

He nods, his gaze shifting to your belly. “You’re right. I guess I need to talk to my mom.”  

“Why?” You ask, tilting your head to the side in curiosity.  

“Well, she promised me she’d look after you but you’re here, so I think we need to have a talk about not keeping secrets from each other.” He mumbles, dragging a hand down his face. 

You laugh, nudging him playfully. “Oh, Maxie, who do you think helped me with my bags at the airport? Your mom is unsurprisingly a strong woman.” 

He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “I should’ve known better than to think you’d stay put for a whole month.” He sighs, but there’s a smile playing on his lips. “Alright, but next time, at least let me know you’re planning something. My heart can only take so much.” 

Max feels a lot better after tricking you with ice-cream into at least staying put withing the Red Bull hospitality for the day as he gets through his media duties. Max feels a lot better after tricking you with ice cream into at least staying put within the Red Bull hospitality for the day as he gets through his media duties. He periodically checks in, making sure you're comfortable and well-fed. Each time he sneaks a glance your way, you catch him with a knowing smile and a roll of your eyes, and he returns it with a wink. He knows that there is absolutely no reason for him to be checking on you as much as he does, because you’ll be fine in the cool hospitality suite with enough water to keep you hydrated for years, but he can’t help but worry about anything and everything going wrong. And his worries prove to be true when he sees the one person who he definitely doesn’t want around you.  

“What are you doing here?” He asks the approaching figure, “I thought you were not going to be coming to this race but the next one.”  

“Given the drop in your performance in the last few races I thought I should be here for... support.” His dad supplies, eyes finding you behind his son’s back on one of the couches in the hospitality, “And I can see the reason for why you’ve been distracted lately, what is she doing here?”  

Max scoffs, crossing his arms on his chest protectively, “She’s my wife, she is more than welcome to be here.” 

“She’s also a distraction, Max,” his father points out, “you’re going to lose your focus if you keep–” 

Since Max is faster than his father where it matters the most, he cuts him off before he can say anything further. “Leave, I don’t want you here.” 

Max’s father looks taken aback, his eyes widening momentarily before they narrow into a scowl. “Excuse me?” he says, his voice low and dangerous. 

“You heard me,” Max replies firmly, his stance unwavering. “I don’t want you here if you’re going to criticize my wife and stress me out, or worse, stress her out.” 

“You’re being irrational,” his father argues, taking a step closer. “I’m just trying to help you stay focused.” Seeing that his son is not going to back down anytime soon, he points a threatening finger towards him. “I’ll be back on race day, but you better be ready to put in a winning performance,” his father finishes, his voice laced with finality. He turns on his heel and walks away, leaving a tense silence in his wake. 

Max sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair as he watches his father disappear into the crowd. Looking back at you over his shoulder, talking to some interns from the social media team, he can’t help but feel the dread of you having to face his father – which gives him another reason to somehow stop the two of you from running into each other during the weekend.  

On Friday, Max’s luck decides to do him a favour as you tell him that you’re not feeling well enough to go to the track with him for the qualifying, and though it is true that he wants you to be with him, he also realises that this will give him one less thing to worry about. He knows how stressful it can be for you to navigate the bustling paddock and deal with the crowds, especially with the added pressure of possibly encountering his father. 

“You rest up, okay?” he says, his voice full of concern. “I'll be back as soon as I can. If you need anything, just call me.” 

You nod, giving him a reassuring smile. “I will, Max. Good luck today. We'll be cheering you on from here.” 

Max leans down to kiss your forehead gently as he mumbles into your skin, “I love you.”  

“I love you too,” you reply, your voice soft and comforting, “be careful out there, okay?” 

Max has one goal throughout qualifying, and to his team principal’s dismay, it is not being on pole. His one and only goal is to get the session done with as quickly as possible and get back to you as soon as he can. After the session ends, he barely waits for the car to come to a stop before jumping out and heading straight for the hospitality suite. His team notices his urgency but knows better than to question it once he tells them he’ll pay whatever fine the FIA will give him for missing his interviews. 

Bursting through the door, Max finds you resting comfortably on the couch, a cup of tea in your hands. The sight of you immediately calms his racing heart. “Hey,” he says softly, walking over to sit beside you. “How are you feeling?” 

You smile up at him, still in his team gear and the hat he almost never takes off, the warmth in your eyes easing his worries. “Better, now that you're here. How did it go?” 

“Starting on pole,” he replies, mostly in a mumble, taking your hand in his. “But all I could think about was getting back to both of you.” 

You squeeze his hand, your expression tender. “I'm proud of you, Max. You did great.” 

He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “Thanks. Let's just relax for the rest of the day, hm? I want to hold you to make sure you’re not getting out of this bed until tomorrow.” 

“You know, I would be happier about this proposal if it was until different circumstances,” you sigh, earning a laugh from him as he pulls you towards his chest, being careful not to spill your tea, of course. Why? Because it is a safety hazard, of course. 

As you settle back into the bed together, Max feels a sense of relief wash over him. The stress of the day melts away in your presence, and he realizes how much he needs these quiet moments with you to forget all about the outside world and focus his energy on what actually matters instead. 

The next day, feeling much better, you prepare to join Max at the track for the race. He’s still concerned but reassured by your determination to support him. As you arrive at the paddock together, Max is more attentive than ever, keeping an eye out for his father in hopes of trying to prevent the two of you running into each other. Navigating through the bustling paddock, Max keeps a protective arm around your waist, and a hand on your bump whenever the two of you stand somewhere talking to someone, guiding you through the throngs of people. His eyes constantly scan the crowd, his jaw set in a determined line. The other drivers and team members greet you warmly, and you return their smiles, feeling the anticipation that surrounds you. 

“Max, relax a bit,” you whisper, squeezing his hand as you notice the tension in his posture. 

He glances down at you, his expression softening slightly. “I just want to make sure everything’s okay.” 

“I know,” you reply, reaching up to stroke his cheek, “but we’re here to enjoy the race and support you. Try to focus on that.” 

He nods, taking a deep breath as both of you make your way to the Red Bull hospitality area. The team welcomes you with open arms, and you settle into a comfortable spot where you can watch the preparations for the race. He asks one of the interns to keep an eye on you, which he thought he was being sly whilst doing it, but you of course catch him in the corner of your eye. That’s when you realise the man walking towards him, your eyes meeting in nothing short of disdain for each other.  

You stiffen slightly, your hand tightening around Max’s hand as he turns just in time to see his father approaching, his protective instincts kicking into high gear as he lets go of your hand and decides to wrap his arm around you protectively instead. 

“Max,” Jos says, his tone neutral but carrying an underlying condescension. “We need to talk before your race begins, walk with me.” 

Max's grip tightens around you for a moment before he reluctantly loosens his hold. “What is it, Dad?” he asks, his voice steady but tinged with irritation. 

Jos's eyes flicker to you before focusing back on Max. “I wanted to discuss strategy, but I can see this isn't a good time.” 

Max's jaw clenches, his protective instincts on high alert. “If it's important, we can talk here. I’m not leaving her side.”  

Jos sighs, clearly frustrated. “Fine, if that's how you want it.” 

Max’s arm remains firmly around you as his father steps closer. “Make it quick,” Max insists, his tone leaving no room for argument. If other people were to see your eyes moving from one Verstappen to the other, they’d probably think you are watching a tennis match, though the situation in front of you is certainly more tense than that. 

Jos glances at you once more before addressing Max. “I just wanted to remind you to stay focused. Pole position is a great start, but you need to keep your head in the race.” 

Max's eyes narrow, and he lets out a scoff, “I know how to do my job, no need for reminder. Anything else?” 

Jos shakes his head, his expression a mix of disappointment and resignation. “Just don’t let distractions cost you the win.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Max hisses, taking a step towards his father as he gently pushes you behind himself. You have to put a hand against his chest to slow him down, though that doesn’t prove to be a sufficient prevention method. “I already told you; she is my wife, and he is not going anywhere so you better get that into that damaged brain of yours.” 

“Max,” you try to plead with him, “please, not before your race.”  

He gives you a look over his shoulder for a short moment before turning back towards his father. His jaw is set as he looks at the man in front of him. “I’ll only tell you this one more time. When she’s here with me, you don’t show up. If you do show up, you don’t come near her, you don’t talk to her, you don’t even look at her.” Another step taken towards his father has you tightening your hold on him, but he still manages to convey his message. “Try something like this again, and you won’t be in my life anymore let alone my son’s.” 

Jos's lips press into a thin line, his eyes darting to you briefly before settling back on Max. “Fine,” he repeats, his tone colder. “Just remember what’s at stake every time you get behind the wheel.” 

Max stands his ground, his eyes locked onto his father's, unwavering. “I know exactly what's at stake, and I don't need you reminding me. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a race to focus on.” 

Max stands his ground, his eyes locked onto his father's, unwavering. “I know exactly what's at stake, and I don't need you reminding me. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a race to focus on.”

It’s not the first time Max has stood up to his father, not by any means. But you can tell that this time affects him in a different way. The weight of the words exchanged and the implications for their future relationship linger in the air. You can feel the tension radiating from Max as he watches his father walk away, and it takes a moment for him to relax his posture and turn back to you. “Please tell me something that will calm me down so I don’t somehow do something that would put me to jail.”

“Okay,” you singsong, quickly positioning yourself in front of him so that you can fix him with a strict look on your face. “You are not doing something that will put you into prison, period.”

“I’m going to need a very good reason because all I want to do right now is follow him to his car and punch him.” Unfortunately for you, the way his jaw is set is a telling sign that, no, Max would actually do something like this given the circumstances.

“There is no sim racing in prison.” You try to provide, giving him a weak smile.  

Max's lips twitch into a small, reluctant smile at your words, the tension in his jaw easing slightly. “No sim racing in prison, huh? Do you honestly think that would keep me from doing something stupid?” 

“I panicked!” You exclaim, hitting him on his chest lightly as he laughs at you silently. “How are you supposed to help me raise our son,” you point to your stomach to emphasise your point, “if you’re in prison, huh?”

Max's smile grows wider, the tension in his posture finally starting to melt away. “Okay, okay, you’ve got a point,” he says, placing his hands on your shoulders and looking into your eyes. “I need to be here for both of you. But it’s so damn hard to ignore him.” 

You reach up and cup his face in your hands, your eyes soft and filled with understanding. “I know, but you’re stronger than him. And you have more important things to focus on. Like winning this race and getting me more ice cream on our way back to the hotel.” 

He takes a deep breath, nodding slowly as he lets out a soft chuckle. “You’re right. I can’t let him get to me. Not today.” 

“Exactly,” you say, giving him a reassuring smile, “I usually am.” 

Max laughs, the sound lightening the mood even more. “Yes, you usually are,” he agrees, pulling you closer for a brief kiss. “Thank you for always knowing how to calm me down.” 

“That’s what I’m here for,” you say, resting your forehead against his. “Now, go out there and show everyone what you can do. We’ll celebrate with ice cream afterward.” 

“Deal,” he replies, his eyes twinkling with affection and determination. With one last squeeze, he lets you go and turns towards his team, his focus now fully on the race ahead. “But I feel like I need to let you know that I would definitely go to prison for life for you.” 

You laugh, shaking your head. “Don’t you have a race to win, Verstappen?” 

He grins, giving you one last kiss before heading off to prepare for the race, giving you a grin over his shoulder as he starts to move away, “So, I’ll get the rest of that kiss after the race, then?” 

“Yeah, Max,” you let out a breathy laugh, your eyes not leaving his for a moment, “after the race!” 

[pshcomforts]

➳ broken love | psh.

dad!sunghoon x mom!femreader

“every time i think of you, it’s just killing me”

synopsis: you and sunghoon still see each other whenever your guys’ daughter, seo-ji, is dropped off to one another — and it’s obvious you two still love each other, even after the divorce papers were finalized.

warnings/content: written in third pov. angsty fluff(?) — mostly angst. kind of aged up(?). not proofread. cursing (i think). unresolved tension. mentions of pregnancy. reader used to hate kids (lmao).

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 3.4k

a/n: part two — ₊˚ʚ try again ɞ˚₊

fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend).

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist��.✧˚

current song playing: broken love by gemini

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

0:48 ───|──────────────── 2:04

y/n’s heart was heavy with the burden of being at his doorstep.

“you got this,” she mumbled to herself, knocking the door with shaky hands.

a happy scream of a child was made, one that she knew at heart. her face lit up at the instant yell, already recognizing that it was no other than her adorable daughter, seo-ji.

“mommy’s here! mommy’s here!” the little kid screamed at the other end.

little shakes of the doorknob were heard before it opened to who she expected; her daughter and of course, her ex-husband, park sunghoon.

she felt her heart slightly shatter at the sight of him, anxiety taking over inch by inch.

“hey y/n,” he awkwardly said. her head nodded in response — “hey sunghoon.”

there was quick tension between them, both truthfully not knowing what to say after coming to terms of the divorce.

they still loved each other, longed for each other in fact.

“mommy!” their baby girl intruded, arms opening wide at the sight of her caretaker.

y/n’s face instantly lit up at her little girl, embracing the sweet hug she offered. “hey princess, how was your day with daddy?” she exclaimed with kisses around her daughter’s cheeks.

seo-ji giggled at the act with an utter — “mommy, stop!!”

the mom smiled at her, noticing her light dimples on display inherited from her father.

“it was good! daddy couldn’t stop talking about you and him though!!”

her sudden callout made y/n look at her ex-husband, finding him in a small blushing state.

“aish seo-ji, you said my secret was safe with you!!” he quickly exclaimed to avert her gaze, hands immediately finding their way to his daughter — tickling her all around.

y/n’s eyes softened at the sight, lips automatically upturning to a sweet smile. she missed this, the feeling of being a happy family.

when the giggles from seo-ji soon drowned out, she ran to go get her stuff from the apartment, leaving the two divorcees alone with each other.

they both quickly became awkward and tense like earlier. their hesitant glances towards one another were evidence that their relationship was on good terms only for their daughter, and perhaps more.

but for the time being, everything and anything was uncomfortable between them.

“so.. heard from jake that you have a date tonight?” y/n suddenly blurted, trying to break the ice.

the male’s head shot up. “hm? oh yeah..,” he paused — “sunoo just set it up for me, and practically begged me to go so…,” his voice weakened at the end with an awkward chuckle spurted out.

she nodded at his reasoning in return— “that’s good..,” she slightly trailed off at the end.

“and you?” he squeaked.

y/n gave a small laugh with a shake on her head. “oh no.. my life revolves around our little girl now. she will always have my full attention.” her eyes shifted from sunghoon to her daughter in the background, hearing the rushed talks from seo-ji as she tried to swiftly gather her belongings.

“she’s my life,” she murmured with a smile she didn’t know she had.

as her gaze stayed on their little girl, sunghoon kept his on her. his eyes sparkled with love that he still had for her — love that had never been resolved.

he missed her and her warmth. just everything about her, really.

but the divorce between them was still fresh, giving them fresh wounds to heal from — wounds that had been cut open from their constant fights and arguments.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ — flashback

“sunghoon, please.” y/n sighed in a groggy expression.

“i’m tired too, can’t you see that? you can’t be the only one acting tired here.” he reverted back with a slight eye roll.

“i’ve been watching her all day, you were barely home.”

“you think i’d rather be out, doing work?” he spat. “i’d much rather stay home with our little girl, but does it look like i have a choice? i’m trying to provide for us.”

the girl groaned. “i’m trying to let seo-ji have a good life, you think that she can do that with only me?”

sunghoon clicked his tongue in annoyance as he slightly walked away. his hands were firmly on his hips as he uttered, “did you not just hear me? i want the best for my daughter too, i want to be there too. you’re the one who gets to be with her, i don’t.”

she sighed at his words, heart breaking down each time she let it ring in her ears. she was glad her baby was staying with min-su and her partner, heeseung for the night. the couple came to pick her up towards the end of the day, giving her and sunghoon a moment to say things.

and with their raised voices and constant arguing, she couldn’t help but feel grateful for them. otherwise, it would’ve woken her sweet girl.

“sunghoon..,”

she watched him roll his watery eyes. “what?” he croaked in a weakened tone, voice cracking with every strength he had to hold back his breakdown.

she didn’t continue, letting his eyes meet hers so they could speak their worries through the dreaded gaze.

“this isn’t working..,”

he sighed at the painful truth. “i know… it’s not.”

the two were sat a few feet away from each other as they came to terms of their situation. constant miscommunication and bottled feelings drifted their relationship apart.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“okay, mommy, ready!” seo-ji yelled, quickly clasping onto her mom’s hands. “bye daddy!”

y/n formed a half smile towards her old lover. “let me know when you’ll pick her up,” she mumbled.

sunghoon gave soft kisses towards his daughter before the two walked away — giving him memories of when he’d kiss his used-to-be girl goodbye whenever she left anywhere.

a faint sigh left his throat as he stumbled back into his apartment.

“i should get ready..,” he said to himself, walking away to his planned outfit.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“hey baby, what are you doing?” ji-woo sweetly uttered to her friend’s daughter.

“i’m trying to draw you, auntie ji-woo!” seo-ji yelled back.

a few giggles went around as min-su uttered, “ooh! me next!”

“okay! wait! i’m almost done!”

y/n’s little girl beamed an eye smile, causing ji-woo to say — “she has your eyes.”

“yeah, but she has her dad’s cute smile.” y/n responded, letting her gaze linger on seo-ji’s adorned features.

“so.. you heard about sunghoon right?” dae mumbled with a lip bite.

she quickly glanced at jungwon’s boyfriend before looking back at her daughter, who peered her head up at her dad’s name.

“daddy?” seo-ji whispered.

y/n smiled and nodded. “mhm, daddy’s going out with a friend tonight, that’s why you’re with me!” she gave a soft ruffle to her little girl’s wavy hair — inherited from her mom, of course.

“how long will he be gone? i miss him.”

“you miss him? but i’m with you! how could you miss him when mommy is right here?” y/n pouted, hiding her grin.

“your mommy’s sad now, seo-ji! what are you gonna do!” yelled min-su with a slight gasp.

“oh no!” dae beamed.

“noo! i’m sorry!” seo-ji quickly exclaimed, jumping on her feet to comfort her mom. “help me, auntie min-su and uncle dae! ..mommy??” she poked her mom’s arm.

y/n peeked down at her and found her bulged, puppy eyes melting her heart instantly.

“i’m sorry! i like you just as much as i like daddy!”

“like? you don’t.. love?” the mom teased with a plastered grin.

“oh my gosh, your daughter’s trying to apologize to you!” dae chimed in, playfully scoffing.

y/n huffed out mounds of laughter in her stomach before forgiving her empathetic daughter. she tucked a few hair strands behind her ears, placing soft kisses on her forehead while murmuring, “i forgive you, seo-ji. are you hungry?”

the little girl furiously nodded her head as min-su uttered — “me too!” — followed by ji-woo and dae to chime in as well, causing y/n to laugh with a healing heart.

her daughter and her friends were all she needed.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

seo-ji remained in the dining room area, eating with rolled up sleeves and a tied hair done by her mom.

y/n and her three friends were near but stayed closer to the living room, carefully hearing for the little girl just in case something happened.

“she eats just like you,” min-su said with a slight snort.

her words caused a wide chuckle to erupt out of her friend. “seo-ji’s been with me a lot so i wouldn’t be surprised if she ate just like me.” y/n murmured back with her eyes staring at her daughter.

“are you really okay with the whole sunghoon thing though?”

she glanced at ji-woo who said it, but only nodded.

“nothing much i can do about it, he’s moving on.”

her heart tore a little, ripping open another wound in her chest that was barely healing. she didn’t like how every sentence she spewed left a bitter taste in her mouth, but what else could she do?

“i’m really sorry for how things turned out..,” one of her friends sympathetically said to her.

“it’s okay.. my little girl is all i need.” she murmured, glancing at seo-ji who was just about done.

“mommy! i’m done!”

just as y/n was about to get up, ji-woo stood first.

“don’t worry girl, i’ll get her.”

before the mom could protest, her friend had already rushed to seo-ji. a small smile formed on her face, feeling grateful for all three.

“come on, seo-ji, let’s wash your hands!”

“auntie ji-woo, where’s uncle jake? he’s always here.”

the two walked away to the bathroom, giving ji-woo the chance to give her reasoning that no uncles except dae would join for tonight.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a few hours in, and seo-ji was wrapped in y/n’s arms now.

the little girl was settling into her nap time, eyes closing in an instant with the comforting warmth her mom radiated.

y/n continued to tuck a few wavy hair strands away from her daughter’s face, gaze fixated on every gorgeous feature she inherited from her and sunghoon combined.

“i never thought i’d actually see you become a mom.” ji-woo confirmed with a proud smile.

“we’re proud of you,” dae added in.

“you used to always hate kids, but now here you are, having one of your own in your arms.” min-su softly uttered, careful to not wake her niece.

everyone’s eyes gathered on the little girl who was softly snoring in her sleep.

y/n’s eyes were softened the most.

she did, in fact, hate kids, but she loved and cherished her daughter — her daughter, who she never imagined to have.

“it feels like we’ve seen you grown up,” ji-woo continued her sad talk. “remember when you always told us that you and sunghoon would be the last to have kids out of all of us?”

the four broke out into laughter as they thought back to their years of being in college.

“yeah..,” y/n’s heart sank as she remembered how good her and sunghoon used to be. “we were so sure of ourselves that we’d have kids after you all had yours too. we were so bad with handling kids before we had our little girl.”

she smiled back at the memory before hearing dae intrude — “now look at you, you were the first to have a kid.”

“me and heeseung next,” min-su prompted, causing hushed laughter to fill the air.

y/n beamed a wide grin afterwards, standing up to settle her baby down in the bedroom.

after doing it with ease, she walked back out and found dae specifically sitting where she had told sunghoon she was pregnant.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ — flashback

“gorgeous, what happened??” sunghoon bursted out the door, heavy breaths of air leaving his lungs.

he clenched onto his chest with his eyes sewed shut, desperately gasping for oxygen as his girlfriend stayed sitting on the couch in silence.

“y/n? you okay?” he said in a softer tone. “what’s wrong?”

“sunghoon..,” she whimpered.

her head turned to meet his gaze, and almost immediately, her reddened eyes that were puffed from her tears worried the poor boy.

“hey, hey, why are you crying?” he attempted to comfort, arms immediately bringing her into his embrace.

“hoonie…,” she quietly called again.

sunghoon pulled away with a comforting hand placed on her cheek.

“what’s wrong, pretty?”

“i’m..,” y/n sighed with a heavy heart, feeling a lump in her throat as she uttered, “i’m pregnant.”

the male paused every muscle movement in his body. “w..what? you’re what?” he said in denial.

“i’m pregnant,” she repeated, fingers fidgeting around little picks of skin.

it now added up for sunghoon — all of why she was suddenly moody, why her period was delayed, why she kept talking about feeling sick — the girl he loved was pregnant.

a gasp of air left him as he grinned ear to ear, heart feeling full with the thought of a baby on the way.

“you’re pregnant,” he reiterated with an upbeat tone. “you’re really pregnant.” he quickly stood on his feet before yelping in joy. tears were quick to fill his eyes as he felt like someone who had just won the lottery.

as her boyfriend continued to celebrate, y/n stayed sitting, chewing on her lips in fear.

“sunghoon.. please sit..,”

the boy quickly obliged, though his excitement still seeped through him in every way possible.

slowly, her eyes trailed up to meet his. and almost instantly, her heart fluttered at how handsome he looked — but it shattered within seconds of the news she was gonna deliver to him.

“i don’t know if i want this…,” she cracked out.

“o..oh…,” hoon blinked with a dry throat. “you don’t want to keep the baby?”

y/n quickly shook her head, tears already filling her eyes for the worst outcome.

but his hands placed itself on hers, letting his fingers cling around to reassure while he continued — “it’s your decision, gorgeous, i won’t force you.”

she shot her head up at him, and sunghoon only pushed his lips together to form a confirming smile.

“having a baby with you is what i want, but just not right now. we’re too young, and we’re both barely starting life and-“

her constant blabbering was shut up by a quick peck on the lips from her boyfriend. “we are young, y/n, but this decision is entirely up to you. i want this with you, and i want to be a dad but if you decide that you don’t want to yet, then that’s okay.”

sunghoon’s thumb rubbed little strokes on her crying cheeks as he spoke with his caring eyes.

he wanted the baby, but he wanted y/n more.

“can i think about this first?” she uttered with sparkling eyes.

his thick brows knitted together to convey how she could even question a thing like that. “of course you can, pretty girl. think about it, and let me know.”

the boy placed a sweet and comforting kiss on his girl’s forehead before pulling her into a hug.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

what broke y/n’s heart the most was how the stress of raising a child never bothered to pop into their head until later — when the continuous struggles got to the soon-married couple.

all they wanted was to be a family, and all they wanted was to have their daughter have loving parents who were in a loving relationship.

and of course they had their moments of joy when everything felt perfect for a while.

like when sunghoon would sleep closely next to seo-ji when she was an infant after watching her all day, and his body would be facing toward his baby girl. then y/n would come home, find them softly snoring, and laugh silently to herself when catching onto her baby’s wavy hair contrasting with hoon’s messy hair that fell to the front of his face.

or when seo-ji would wake up in some mornings with a sudden, personal preference on which parent she wanted — it mainly being y/n. and their little girl would cling onto her, making sunghoon pout in return of how his daughter had most of his features but would much rather be with her mom. little complaints would leave his mouth, but he secretly loved to see his small family together.

or, when seo-ji was still one, and sunghoon remained persistent in going ice skating so the three went to an ice rink. their baby would be dressed in warm clothing with mini earmuffs and gloves wrapped around her hands. and hoon would carefully glide the little girl around, letting her get used to the constant slippery surface while y/n personally sat the ice skating out and recorded instead.

or even, when they’d go to gatherings planned by their friends and everyone would instantly go to seo-ji, leaving the exhausted parents to intertwine their hands and watch how much their friends adored their child. little murmurs of — “us next?” would constantly be heard all around while uncle jay would try and snatch her away from everyone else.

nothing could beat those fond memories that were shared upon sunghoon, y/n, and their special little girl, seo-ji.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a sigh left y/n as she walked to her ex-husband’s apartment. days had gone by since she was last here to pick her daughter up, and now she’s dropping her off once again.

“be good okay? i know daddy probably misses you a lot,” she muttered, hands moving her daughter’s strands of hair.

“mhm! i will!”

a few knocks on the door were made before it creaked open to the handsome man, sunghoon.

“daddy!” seo-ji yelled, quickly detangling her hands from her mom’s to jump into hoon’s arms.

“seo-ji! how’s my little girl?” he left constant kisses around her cheeks, causing little laughter to burst out of her.

y/n beamed a smile at the sight in front of her. she knew they weren’t a family anymore, but it was somewhat healing to know that they could still share loving moments like this.

she heard her old partner yell out in joy, laughing with their daughter and giving wide grins that still secretly lit up her heart.

she still loved him.

“alright, i’m gonna take off, but be good, seo-ji. i’ll come pick you up some time soon, okay?” y/n mumbled.

her baby girl stood with a pout. “you’re leaving already?” she frowned. “you can’t! i don’t want you to! just stay a little longer in daddy’s house.”

y/n immediately chuckled at her daughter’s words. “i have to go, i have to meet auntie ji-woo and them soon.”

seo-ji’s eyes were quickly filled with tears as her bottom lip puffed out. “please mommy..,”

the mom’s heart shattered at her words but she only sighed.

“i’m sorry baby, i’ll come soon though okay?”

her daughter sighed as well before giving a tight hug around her mom.

sunghoon watched his two girls with soft eyes, heart slightly melting at this cherishing memory.

he loved the little things like this when they were still together.

and the one thing that always made him fall in love with y/n even more was how she always mentioned her hatred for kids, but when their daughter came into their life, she immediately loved her with no resentment.

everything about y/n was his weakness and it still showed because —

he still loved her.

“i’ll miss you,” seo-ji muffled through her sobs.

“i’ll miss you too, seo-ji.” y/n pulled away, wiping the tears from her sweet girl as she placed a soft kiss on her cheeks. “have fun with dad though, he misses you a lot too.”

she glanced up to hoon with a half smile. “okay i have to go because if i’m any later, uncle dae will be scolding me! here’s her backpack.”

the girl raised the bag and allowed sunghoon to take it, letting his fingers softly graze against hers.

there was a flicker — a spark, almost, at their little touch.

something was obviously still alive between the two when they glanced up at each other, eyes quickly shifting back and forth with their unresolved tension.

a linger was made present in the air, both not wanting to break the locked gaze but needing to anyway.

y/n walked away after saying one last goodbye to her daughter, feeling heavily burdened at the weighed pressure in her heart; while sunghoon closed the door behind him, mind and heart painfully filled with the memory of his ex-wife, and the mere thought of how much he loved her.

they knew they couldn’t though.

they shouldn’t, for the sake of their daughter, seo-ji.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

a/n: i just wanted to say as well, that i see the requested oneshots in my inbox, and i will try my best to write them! but it may take me a while, so please be patient with me <3 also someone tell me if this oneshot came out okay bc i wrote this at 3am with tired eyes..

[pathologicalreid]

in sickness and in health | S.R.

Minutes before your wedding is supposed to start, Spencer gets cold feet, and you have to find out why.

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff (a smidge angsty) content warnings: alzheimers, weddings, children, babies, sad!spencer, reader wears a dress and makeup, cursing word count: 1.8k a/n: so this became sadder than I had initially intended. also i decided to try something new and write in a different POV and i don't know if i like it. this is my entry for @imagining-in-the-margins' new beginnings challenge, because nothing says new beginning quite like getting married! thank you for having this challenge!

If it were up to you and Spencer, your wedding would’ve taken place at a courthouse with no fuss, just rings and a certificate. Especially after he shot down your idea of a 24-hour wedding chapel in Las Vegas.

In your defense, you pitched it to him as an intimate wedding in his hometown, but he didn’t take the bait.

But when the team found out that the two of you were planning what they deemed unsuitable, they all volunteered to help throw together a ceremony and reception. Everyone was under the duress of Penelope at the time, but they all volunteered.

She could be very formidable when she wanted to.

Your now maid of honor’s eyes were shimmering as she carefully adjusted some of the last few strands of hair upon your head, you had managed to talk her out of a tiara, but to Penelope Garcia, a veil was non-negotiable. “You look gorgeous,” she says, “the perfect bride.”

Laughing uncomfortably, you turn to look at yourself in the full-length mirror and take a deep breath, “Thank you, Pen.”

“I know I may have slightly nudged you in the direction of a bigger wedding-“

“More like punted,” you interrupt, an affectionate smile on your face.

Rolling her eyes, she leaned over to grab her buzzing phone on the velvet chair in your ready room. “Whatever, I just think that after everything you and Spencer have made it out of, you deserve a celebration that reflected that,” she speaks passionately, as she always does when discussing people in love.

Turning around to look back at the mirror, the tulle of your veil cascading over your shoulders as you grew giddy. Your dress was a whimsical, white chiffon that fell to the floor and moved with you as you walked. Small straps of fabric were delicately draped over your arms for an off-the-shoulder effect, you had never felt more glamorous. Although, if there was a day for glamor, your wedding day would certainly qualify.

You snap your head around to see Penelope furiously typing on her phone, “Uh oh,” she whispers, looking at the screen.

Humming, you step off of the pedestal and over to her, careful not to trip on your dress, “What’s wrong?” You murmur, trying to see what was distressing her. Dread built in your stomach; the team couldn’t be getting called away? Two of its members were about to get married. This is why you should’ve just gone to the courthouse; you never should’ve let Garcia talk you into this.

Jolting you out of your panic induced stupor, she answers, “Something’s up with Reid.”

Your heart clenches, “Reid? My Reid?” You whisper, “Is he okay?”

The two of you jump when someone bangs on the door, and she moves to open it, just a crack at first – to see who it is – and then all the way open to reveal Luke on the other side. Naturally, the members of the BAU made up your wedding party, and Luke as the best man was the easy choice.

He was mostly dressed, save for the bowtie that remained undone around his neck, “I need to steal Y/N.” His shoulders were rising and falling quickly like he had run across the building.

“She’s getting ready for the wedding. Her wedding,” Penelope answers, gesturing back to you. “Besides, it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.”

Really, you were mostly ready, you just needed to put your shoes on and line up. “There won’t be a wedding if we can’t get the groom out there,” Luke replies.

You warily approach the doorway, peeking around the door, “What’s wrong?”

“He just needs you,” Luke explains, gesturing toward you with his hands.

Nodding determinedly, you step out the door and run over to the other side of the building to where the groom’s ready room is, pulling the fabric of your dress up so that you don’t trip. Along the way, you pass a few guests, but you don’t stop.

It wasn’t news to most of them that you were a grounding force for Spencer, the two of you had been put through, as Luke put it, the wringer together and still managed to come out the other side. You skid to a halt in front of the door and knock quickly, “Spence, it’s me.”

“It’s bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony,” he murmurs through the door, echoing the earlier sentiments of Penelope. You know he doesn’t believe in it, which only adds to your concern.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, fidgeting with the doorknob just to discover it’s locked. “If you don’t unlock the door, I’m going to go find Derek and have him kick it down for me,” you threaten, wondering if the reminder of all of the people here would coax him out.

There was no response from the other side of the door.

Sighing, you turn to look at Luke, “Can you give us a minute?” He nods, letting you know he’ll talk to Garcia before walking down the long hallway.

Once he’s gone, you hear the tell-tale click of the door unlocking, “Garcia will kill you if you walk in here.”

“Penny isn’t here, baby. It’s just you and me, okay?” You speak lowly, “What’s wrong, my love?” Dropping your hand on the doorknob, you startle slightly when it turns and the door swings open.

You yelp when Spencer pulls you in, closing the door behind you before he wraps his arms tightly around your waist. Immediately, you feel his body relax against yours, “Isn’t this supposed to be bad luck?” He murmurs.

Humming, you return his hug gratefully, “We’ve had enough bad luck, don’t you think? It’ll be okay.” His arms loosen around you, and you pull away slightly so you can look up at him, placing your hands tenderly on his chest, thumbing the satin fabric of his lapels. “And besides, I’m not fully dressed yet. I’m fairly certain that means it doesn’t count.”

“You look beautiful,” he whispers, holding you out at arm’s length. “You’re perfect, and I’m…” His voice trails off as he takes a step back from you, sighing as he takes a seat in one of the white chairs in the ready room.

Tilting your head to the side, you felt the fabric of your veil flow to the side, “You’re what, Spence?” You ask, slowly approaching the chair he was sitting in.

He furrows his brows in apprehension, “I think I might be scared of you,” he answers candidly.

You couldn’t help the giggle that spurted from your lips, “Am I really that scary?” You inquire softly, seeking more answers from him. You saw him better now, the darkness of his tux offset by the purple bowtie and handkerchief, joined with the light florals of his boutonnière. Spencer’s hair was a mess, a tell-tale sign that he had been running his hands through it.

Clearing his throat, Spencer looks up at you with a look in his eye that you can’t quite place, “I passed by your room earlier, and I heard you laughing.” He took a deep, tentative breath, “I thought you sounded so happy, and now I’m not sure I can keep you happy.”

Sighing, you duck your head slightly, “Spencer,” you say seriously, “are we still getting married today?”

“What?” He says in disbelief. “Of course we are, that’s not- I’m sorry,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “We’re still getting married; I’ve quite literally never wanted anything more in my entire life. I’m just worried,” he speaks quietly.

Gingerly, you step closer to the chair before he reaches out for you, placing a hand on your waist and gently guiding you down until you are sitting on his lap. “You make me so happy, Spencer Reid. I know that somewhere in that gorgeous brain of yours you know that, but I also know that you are your own worst critic.”

You’re sitting sideways on his lap with your legs latticed on top of each other. Gingerly, he places a hand on your thigh and another on the small of your back, “You deserve everything you want in the world.”

“And I want you. Doesn’t that count for something?” You ask him, emotion beginning to rise in your throat – you cannot cry, then the wedding would really be delayed. “Spencer, I’m so ecstatic that at the end of today, I get to be your wife. That’s such a privilege to me. You and I, we get to be so fucking happy today. We deserve that.” You tell him gently, “We get to be married and go on our honeymoon and come home and we can tell all of your stories to your mom, and we’ll have a baby or two and we’ll be so fucking happy.” You swallow your emotion, looking up at the light in the hope that it will clear your tears. “For the rest of our lives, we’ll be so happy.”

Then it came, “I don’t want to forget you.” His voice is almost imperceptible, but you hear him still.

The ache in his voice feels like a stab to your heart, you were well aware that his mother had Alzheimer’s. She wasn’t having a good day today, but the two of you had gone to visit her in the morning. Ever since she was diagnosed, it’s been like Spencer has a storm cloud hovering over him – he can’t be tested for the gene markers, not for a few more years. Taking a deep breath, you reach over and smooth his hair back, “If you get Alzheimer’s, I will sit down with you every day and remind you. I’m going to walk down that aisle today and tell you that I’m going to love you in sickness and in health and I’m going to mean it.”

“I’m scared,” he murmurs, leaning into your touch.

Using your free hand, you reach up and tenderly wipe a tear from his cheek, “We can take it.”

He nods in agreement with you, “Together, as a team,” he concurs, a slight amount of confidence returning to his voice.

Resting your head on his shoulder, the two of you take your moment. The last moment before you officially unite as one, and you let that moment take as long as you need. “I should go,” you whisper, looking over at the clock, the ceremony was supposed to have started by now.

Spencer leans down and kisses you, “I’ll see you out there?” He asks expectantly.

Nodding assuredly, you reach up and wipe a smudge of lipstick from his mouth, “I’ll be there.”

During the ceremony, you impressively were able to keep yourself together, until you promised him you would love him in sickness and in health.

please remember to like, reblog, and/or comment if you enjoyed!

[sarawritestories]

You Are Not a Burden

Cassian X Fem Reader

Summary: You have been tasked with going to the Spring Court to check in on Tamlin for Rhys. Though You and the High Lord do not get along and this visit leaves you injured and doubting your abilities in Rhys and Feryre's court and in the Inner Circle.

Content Warning: Angst, Aggression, injury, Stubbornness, Self doubt, barely proof read.

ACOTAR MASTERLIST

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: I hope you enjoy this angsty fic that has some really good fluff at the end.

Exhaustion had been your constant companion in the past weeks. Doing emissary work between Summer and the Day Court had been successful and have been in good company with Tarquin and Helion, who have always loved when you come to visit. Though standing on the dilapidated building of the Spring Court, you wished you could be anywhere else. The territory has been neglected as shown by the dead plants and the Mansion looking like no one has stayed there in centuries in a matter of months. The once rich color of the land had dulled, and the people of this court have suffered just as much as the land.

Rhys had asked you personally to touch base with him as you were already traveling to nearby territories and seeing the exhaustion on his face mostly from taking care of Nyx and not wanting to have Feyre endure going back there you agree. The relief in his eyes made it worth being here though it meant that you would be apart from your mate for weeks as Cassian was at the Illyrian camps handling Devlon and making sure the camps were staying in line. The time apart has left an ache in your heart, but the work has been a great distraction.

Shaking your mind from your thoughts and sending love down the bond that links you to your General. There was a warmth that took over your body as he sent warmth and comfort through the bond. Taking a breath you raise your hand and ready to knock on the door when the door opens, and your eyes meet Emerald ones. “I could hear your heart rate spike. What do you want?”

You straighten your posture, “I was in the area, I wanted to check in.”

Tamlin scowls, “Consider me checked in. You can go run to your High Lord and your Bastard, like the good little Bitch you are.”

He is about to shut the door when you breach your boot against the frame preventing it from shutting, ignoring how his blow hit his mark and gave a knowing smirk placing the mask Rhys has taught you “Look who got his bark back.” You rolled your eyes, “Can I please come in? The sooner we have an adult conversation the sooner I can leave, and you can wallow in whatever pity party you’re hosting for yourself.”

His claws peeked over his knuckles, “Why do you care, you sure as hell didn’t care when you took Feyre from me? You sure as hell did not care when your High Lord let her come in and destroy my territory.”

You cross your arms, “Tamlin, Feyre, wanted to do that on her own, there was no coercing on our end. As for your territory...you were a ticking time bomb. Your people were getting frustrated with your rule. Feyre just sped up the process. Maybe it’s time you stop blaming others for what happened in your court and take some responsibility.”

In a flash Tamlin tackles you to the ground, your head hitting the concrete at the bottom of the stairs, your vision blurred slightly as Tamlin’s claw clamps around your neck and squeezes, “I want you to listen very carefully,” He snarls and you wince, “You don’t get to judge me when its apparent there is no use for you in that vile court you call home. Rhys and Feyre have no use for you other than sending out and parade around in other territories.” He smirked as a tear escape cascading down your cheek, “I’m sure you are only good for warming your general’s cock and sitting prettily on his lap.” You wince as his blow landed some of your deepest insecurities being confirmed by the person you hate the most. “You are not welcome in my territory and if I catch your scent even in my territory, I will kill you. Leaving your Corpse on your bastard mate’s doorstep.”

He presses his face close to hers causing a whimper, “Get. Out,” he whispered and ripped away from your body the sound of a door slamming solidifying that the High Lord of the spring had slithered back into his tomb. You laid facing the sky the beautiful sight of the sky a stark contrast of what transpired.  For a moment not fully aware of how that escalated quickly, and your hand gravitated to your neck and tears began to pool. You make sure that your bond was locked so your emotions were not flooding to Cassian as he was out checking on his armies.

You stood and the ground began to spin briefly before steadying yourself a sharp pain stung behind your eyes and you touched the back of your head and something wet and warm met your fingertips. You look at your hand and find blood dripping down to your wrist, without a second glance to the manor, you winnowed back to Velaris. You ended up on Madja’s doorstep and you stunned the older Fae healer, “Oh dear, let’s get you checked out” Madja brought you inside and tried to tend to your injuries.

The familiar mental claws scraped your mental shield as Madja had you lay in her cot checking your neck to make sure Tamlin didn’t do any permanent damage as a bruise in the shape of a hand was blooming across your skin. You open your shield enough to let your High Lord come in.

“Home so soon?” Rhy’s voice was a mixture of surprise and concern, “Was your trip constructive?”

You take a steadying breath Tamlin’s words began to bubble up. You tamper it down just enough to keep it from Rhys and replied, “Yes my report, will be on your desk in a few days.”

“I’m glad you’re home, Cassian and Azriel are on their way as we speak so we’re having family dinner tonight at the River House.”

“I’ll be there. I am going to rest it’s been a long journey, and I haven’t been sleeping well.”

Rhys chuckled, “I’m sure Cassian will be more than happy to help tire you out when he sees you. He has already promised to kick my ass for keeping him away from you for this long.”

You smile briefly, and once again Tamlin’s words tried to bubble on the surface causing you stress. Rhys must have picked up on the shift of your feelings, “You sure you’re okay. Tamlin give you a hard time?”

“Rhysand, I’m fine, I’m just tired. I’ll see you at dinner.” You put your shield up before he had a chance to press further on the subject, and let unconsciousness claim you.

~Later That Evening~

You make your way down to the dining room of the River House, your plumb colored gown swishing against your bare feet. The high neckline that has a cut out that compliments your breast is why you chose this. Madja was able to close the wound on your head but the dark purple bruise dawning on your neck was going to have to heal on its own. The sound of laughter flooded your ears and the sound usually brings a smile to your face but this time insecurities run rampant.

They don’t need you.

You don’t belong.

You don’t bring anything to this group. They are better off without you.

You wince at the last one, but you school your features and put on a smile and walk into the dining room. The laughter died out and nerves racked down your body by the silence your lips turning down slightly, “Don’t mind me,” You whisper as you make your way down to the empty chair next to your mate. Your heart stopped at the sight of him as he rose from his seat to approach you. Being out in the mountains in the Fall sunshine his skin had darkened a shade and there was stubble along his face that made your toes curl. He was devastatingly handsome, his hair in a clean bun and his leathers been replaced by a dark button up shirt and dress pants.

“Hey, Sweetheart,” Cassian scooped you in his arms and spun you around. Placing you down he steals a kiss from you, “I missed you. I was so happy to hear you were home early.”

His hand grazed down your face and as he neared your neck wiggled out of his grasp and got on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek and gave him a small smile, “Me too, General.” You take your seat, and You see Cassian take his, his brows furrowed.  The food appeared and everyone gave approval

Feyre looked at you and gave her smile, “How is Tarquin and Helion, I hope they are doing well and treated you well.”

You are only good at parading to other courts.

You cleared your throat as fiddle with the food on your plate not having a solid “They are fine, warm and loving as always.”

“Rhys and Feyre have no use for you… you are only good for warming your general’s cock and sitting prettily on his lap.” The image of Tamlin snarling in your face and his hand squeezing your neck.

Rhys stilled his head shot up and his eyes met yours, your eyes widened and slam your mental shields up. Cassian’s head swiveled between his brother and you and guilt washes over you as he realizes that you have him locked out of the bond. “How was the Spring Court?” Rhys asked tension seeping into the room. Cassian’s head whipped to Rhys.

Feyre also stilled, “You sent her to the Spring Court?” she whispered her food forgotten. Mor poured more wine and filled Amren and Azriel’s goblets. Azriel’s shadows almost obscured him from view and Amren leaned against her chair and sipped her goblet.

Cassian’s grip on his fork tightened his knuckles turning white, “I chose to go,” I whispered. I reach my hand to grip Ferye’s across from me, “It was fine. I was banned but that was the only thing that happened,” Feyre didn’t return her smile.

Rhys jaw locked, “Don’t lie.”

Cassian through gritted teeth, “Someone tell me what’s going on right now!”  Rhys made eye contact with the General and his eyes went vacant along with Feyre’s. He was showing both yours and his mates the image that slipped. When the connection was severed you saw that the General had tears in his eyes as rage contorted his features. Feyre had tears streaming down her face.

You rise from your seat tears threatening, “I’m fine. I can handle myself. I’m so sorry that I ruined Family Dinner with this.” You fled and could hear Cassian call out your name as you winnowed to the door of the House of Wind and took the 10,000 steps to the top. You are aloud yourself to fall apart and sobs racked your whole body. Emotions swirling, of the pain on Feyre’s face and the pure rage on Cassian’s, the venomous truth that Tamlin spewed to you and when you reached the top. You moved as quickly as you could despite your thighs burning from the trek up the steps.

You reached the bedroom and were greeted by Hazel eyes, and you sniffled, “Cassian,” You whispered.

The General was leaning against the bed post with his arms and ankles crossed his eyes red rimmed, “Why did you block me out?” His voice was quiet and pained, his knuckles were bloody.

You open the bond and worry is sent down to him, “You’re hurt,” you whisper not looking away from his knuckles.

 He looks down at his hands and his eyes meet yours and they soften at your worry and relief shimmers down that bridge between him and you. “The blood isn’t mine. It’s Rhys’,” He shrugged, and you bit your lip, Cassian sighs and pushes of the post and approaches you and you avert your eyes. “He’s fine, he could have fought me off, he let me get the hits in. He felt guilty.”

“Why?” You ask, taking a step away from the door and approaching him.

Cassian stared at you in disbelief as he brought his arms down, pushing off the post to close the distance between the two of you. “Because he purposely put you in danger sending you to Tamlin’s territory. That the bruise your hiding behind that neckline is his fault.” Your eyes widened, “Rhys had stopped by Madja, and she told him she was worried about you.” You nod briefly, “We’re all worried about you. Especially Rhys and myself.”

You shake your head, “It wasn’t. I went willingly. I may have pushed Tamlin’s buttons, and he got the up on me.” You whisper, “It’s not Rhys’ fault it was mine.”

Cassian cupped your face in his hands, “Rhys was aware that you and Tamlin do not get along. He also knew that you wouldn’t say no whereas anyone else would have. As your High Lord and more importantly your friend, he should not have put you in that situation.”

You wrap your fingers around his hands that are still cupping your face, “Tamlin wasn’t wrong though.” Cassian’s face fell at your admission. Tears trailed down your cheek, “I feel like I don’t have a job that is really helping this court, but I can’t fight like everyone else and sometimes I feel like Rhys and Feyre really don’t know what to do with me.” Cassian wipes her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m even a good enough friend to be part of the Inner Circle. Then what he said about you.” You closed your eyes, “I know you love me. I know you value me as a friend, partner, mate and wife, but I think back to the number of times you have had to reassure me and take care of me. I can’t help but feel like a burden to you and this court.”

“Oh Sweetheart,” His voice cracked as he picked you up and led you to the bathroom where he took a moment to change you out of your gown. His eyes were flaring with anger at the sight of the bruise. He puts on one of your favorite night gowns that is red and black. He guides you to the vanity back in the bedroom and has you sit as he begins to brush your hair. “There has never been a moment since you came into my life where I ever found you as a burden. You have been such a bright light in my life, your smile brightens the room and even on my worst day that same smile always melts my problems away. You have the affect on the team too, your easy and calm demeanor grounds everyone even Amren.” He meets your gaze through the mirror with his smile that always settles your nerves. “Your charm is perfect for dealing with temperamental High Lords which is why Feyre and Rhys have you go out and touch base with them every now and then. They like you and find comfort in your presence.”

He kisses your cheek and turns you so that you’re facing him, “I love you, You have never under any circumstances simply been someone who warms my cock.” You give him a small smile and his eyes light up at the upward tick of your lips. “I love your kindness, and your bravery. Most importantly it’s your willingness to drop anything for anyone, no questions asked. People know they can come to you for a listening ear, a shopping spree. You even know when I just need to hold you after a difficult mission, and you don’t pry but you somehow know what any one of us needs at any given moment. That’s special, Sweetheart, you’re special.” He presses a kiss to your forehead. “I will happily remind you of that, everyday from now until my heart stops beating that you are NOT a burden.” Another kiss to your lips briefly before he pulls away.

You feel tears flooding out one more time as you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his neck taking in his scent. “I was nervous, that if you sensed my dread and fear down the bond, you would have shown up in the Spring Court. That’s why I blocked you out and I really wish I hadn’t. I thought he was going to kill me he even told me as much.” Cassian stilled at the admission but did not say anything as you continued, “Then when I got here all I could think about was how I couldn’t inconvenience anyone to help. I was cowardly and didn’t want Rhys to think I failed him. Failed you and began and self-doubt is a parasite that is easy to come in and harder to extract. I just didn’t want to bring the mood down of everyone being home for the first time in weeks. ”

Cassian snorted and you could hear him roll his eyes, “He failed you, Sweetheart. But Tamlin will be dealt with. I promise.” You nod and continue to sob into his neck ruining his dress shirt with your tears.  “Also, you are more important to me than any dinner or game night we could have. How you’re feeling takes priority for me that will never change. Just because you're not feeling joy all the time doesn't make you a burden, it's normal to have those bad feelings as it is the good ones.”

Cassian tucks an arm under your knees and behind your back and carries you to the armchair looking out at the balcony. Holding you close as your sobs ebb and flow he strokes your back and presses his head against yours whispering sweet nothings.

A few moments go by when the sobbing turns to soft hiccups, you raise your head from his neck to meet his beautiful honey-colored eyes. “Thank you, for being you, Cassian, you always know what to say.”

He presses a kiss to your hand, “Promise me something, Sweet Girl.” You wait to let him continue, “Promise me that you will not block me out like that again, if you think you will be in a dangerous situation or territory, you keep the bond open so I can help. While we’re at it, tell me things. Don’t try to protect me from your dark feelings, or worries, it’s my job as your mate and your husband to help you through them and work on quieting those loud voices. No different than what you do for me.”

You nod, “I promise.” You kiss him, “I love you.”

He smiles and holds you tighter to him, “I love you too, Sweetheart. Let’s get some rest, we have an early meeting with the High Lord and Lady tomorrow.”

You nod and let him carry you to bed. He quickly removes his clothes, apart from his underwear and crawls into bed next to you, bringing your head to his chest and his wing wrapped around the two of you for extra warmth as your eyes droop close you feel lips on your forehead, “My beautiful, mate.” He whispers as you drift into slumber.

~FIN

[pretty-little-mind33]

chaser!James Potter x chaser!fem!reader

Summary: James is threatened by how good you are at Quidditch which means he hates you. And what emotion is closer to hate than love?

Genre: Angsty Fluff, 'rivals' to lovers <3

Warnings: James is seriously a dick in the beginning, teasing, slight bullying, swearing, fighting, social class differences, reader is an only child, didn't really understand how Quidditch Captains are appointed but bare with me <3

~ finally finished this! loved this ask anon! thank you, my lovely! ~

JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST

James Potter is sprawled across the large, maroon, couch in the center of the Gryffindor Common room, his arms draped over the cushions as his legs lay across Sirius Black's lap.

Sirius, who would probably mind more if he wasn't as drunk as his best friend. 

"I mean, fuck me, she wasn't even that good and McGonagall saw her and still looked at her like she'd just hung the moon in the sky!" James exclaims, his ears burning as he recalls Quidditch tryouts that morning. 

He's pissed. 

"You're just annoyed that she just started and now has a chance at Captain because Mini liked her so much," Sirius points out, which earns him a harsh swat on the top of his head.

James's face sours and he restrains himself from whining like a petulant child. Sirius was right, he was mad because you gave him a run for his money and no one has done that until now. 

This was supposed to be his year. McGonagall loved him (mostly)! The Captain position was basically promised to him since his second year and now you've come around and ruined this for him! 

"She's seriously not even that good, it's infuriating," James lies and looks around the small gathering they're having. He knows everyone can hear him but he doesn't care. "And she's so fucking annoying," he sounds bitter, "she's always talking everyone's ears off— and have you seen her stupid hair? She wore those fucking space buns just to make herself look cute, I swear!" He lifts himself off the couch for a moment, his arms raising in exasperation, and then lets out a sigh. 

"That is usually the reason girls do their hair, James, yes," Remus interrupts from the floor where he's reading his book, his back leaning against the couch. 

"Shut up," James grumbles and slumps back down. "I don't want her on the team. She's a nuisance already." 

"Speaking of," Peter adds, his voice smaller as he glances towards the stairs to the girls' dorms. James whips his head around and his eyes narrow. You're walking towards the small gathering with some friends. 

You're dressed in a Quidditch sweater that is only slightly oversized as the sleeves cover your hands. You're blissfully unaware of how much James Potter hates you so when you see him staring, you assume he wants to talk to you. You liked his company during tryouts. He was funny.

You'd always found him funny. 

So, you walk over with a smile and James struggles to sit up. He's very obviously sloshed. 

"Hello, Potter," you say and your smile widens. "This is Jane and that's Gabrielle," you introduce your friends. "I enjoyed try-outs, you were amazing. If I'm honest, I've always admired you during games. You're so talented," you feel yourself rambling but you're smiling too much to stop yourself, "I'm so happy we're gonna be on the same team now! I think we should–" 

James cuts you off, a mean smirk on his lips as he looks at his friends and the students around you, "What did I say? A little chatterbox this one is," he quips, not completely unaware of how harsh his words are even in his drunken state. 

Your hands fall at your sides, and the wind feels like it's been knocked from your lungs at his words when you realize he's making fun of you. You look at your friends and they stare at James with pronounced frowns.

"Oh," you whisper, but then you add, "That's not very nice, Potter." 

A little surprised you'd had the guts to stand up to him, James retorts instantly. "Yeah? Is it now, Y/l/n?" He sounds mocking again and you don't understand why. 

Your friends pull on your sleeve. "C'mon, Y/n, he's a prick," they turn you around, feeling how hurt you are as they walk away from James and his friends. 

"Classy, James, real classy," Remus mutters under his breath. 

And as awful as sober James might admit it is, he feels like he'd won something against you. 

* * *

You can't understand why James seems to hate you as much as he does. 

You've never been mean to him or done anything to harm him— on the contrary, you've only ever spoken highly of him and you know you've made a point of showing him that you trust him as a player when you're practicing. You want him to trust you too. 

And still, James hates you and he makes that very clear. 

He turns anything into a competition when it comes to you and it's obvious he takes pleasure in making you feel like shit.

As the days turn into weeks, you feel hopeless and even now you find yourself sitting alone on the grass during breaks, adjusting your uniform so you look busy as you hold in your tears. 

You can hear James's cruel whispers about you to your teammates, purposefully creating rifts between you and them so you'll feel even more alone.

"She's so desperate," James's mockery causes another ache in your stomach and you chew on your lip so hard you're afraid you'll draw blood. You try not to listen to him as the whistle blows and the practice game starts again. 

You're not on James's team this time–which means he either ignores you completely or targets you over anyone. As he hovers near you, you realize this morning it's the latter. 

Maria Baker throws you the Quaffle and just as she does, you can sense James coming. You avoid his shoulder just in time and, with a huff, you score into the nearest hoop.

This just infuriates James even more and ups his game—which means the next time you have the Quaffle, he flies up to your shoulder again and pushes you hard to the side. He jabs his elbow into your ribs, purposefully playing dirty. 

You wince. "O-ow, James, that hurts," you hiss, focusing on staying in the air as James rough-houses with you.

Your anger builds now and you shove him back, almost slipping from your broom as you try and defend yourself.

The Quaffle falls from your arms as James hits your shoulder with his again and you gasp. You expect him to rush to the ball and continue the game but he's furious from you shoving him so he grabs one of your braids and pulls. 

You feel yourself fall from your broom as you cry in pain and you turn your body, clutching the end of James's uniform and, with a grunt from him, you're suddenly both plummeting to the ground. 

You roll onto your stomach, falling onto James's chest as his arms automatically wrap around your back and he groans, looking up at you as you practically straddle his lap. Your head is throbbing from where he'd pulled your hair, your left braid messier than your right, and pure fury flashes in your eyes. 

You lean over James, grabbing a handful of his curls and you pull. "What the bloody hell is your problem? How do you like it, hm?! You insufferable jerk!" 

James doesn't take too kindly to this and he grabs your wrists, flipping you over so you're the one under him. His mum had told him never to hit a girl but oh does he want to hit you right now. You're staring up at him with that look he hates—the one that makes him feel all fluttery in his stomach.

You're struggling against his grip, grass in your hair. James's cheeks must be just as covered in dirt as yours are and his shoulder aches from the way he'd fallen. 

"Potter! Y/l/n!" The whistle blows and the current Captain, Ines Clarke, runs up with McGonagall behind her. She'd seen the commotion from inside and seemed more than furious as she rushed over.

Some of your teammates follow, including Sirius Black who grips James's collar and pulls him off you. You hear Sirius hiss, "Prongs!! What in Godric's name is wrong with you?!" and then McGonagall pulls your attention to her. 

Ines helps you up, looking concerned but then turns her attention to James. McGonagall walks over and when she sees the mess James has made of you, she frowns. "Are you alright, Miss Y/l/n?"

You nod, your lips pressed tightly as you see a bunch of your teammates have gathered around James as he rolls his shoulder. You look at your broom, which lies broken on the grass, and your eyes water. McGonagall senses your distress and she glances at James. 

"James Potter!" She suddenly snaps her dainty fingers and James is next to her in seconds, both hands gripping his only slightly damaged broom. 

It had been better quality than yours anyway. 

His nervous eyes dart from McGonagall to you as he takes you in. You stare at him, unable to look away from how messy you've made his naturally tousled hair and you wonder if grass and dirt stick to your cheeks just as they do to James'. 

"This," McGonagall points in between you both, "isn't how we do things here—you know this better than anyone, Mr. Potter. Your behavior is unacceptable." she reprimands him sternly and then looks at you, "and Miss Y/l/n, no matter how other teammates provoke you, you don't have the right to lay your hands on them either."

"But–" 

"No. No more buts." McGonagall ignores both your protests as she looks down at your broom. "You need to learn how to behave like a team."

She thinks for a moment. "Tomorrow morning, you'll travel to Hogsmeade so Miss Y/l/n can replace her broom. Mr. Potter, you'll help her without any complaints, and neither of you better step foot on the pitch again until you've worked out whatever this feud is." 

Your eyes widen. You want to tell McGonagall you cannot buy a new broom right now, but she clearly doesn't have anyexcuses about her new team bonding exercise. This means, much to your dismay, you end up waiting for James early the next morning, hugging your arms around you as you pick at the wool on your sweater. 

James is ten minutes late. You want to kill him. 

"Oi," his voice calls from behind you, irritatingly nonchalant. You turn and see he's also wearing his Quidditch sweater—which means you're now unintentionally matching—and a pair of casual trousers. James sends you a lopsided smirk, pushing his hands into his pockets as he sways on his feet almost awkwardly. "Why so gloomy, newb?" he mocks, the nickname rolling cruelly from his tongue.

You scrunch up your nose and spin around, walking in front of him as you clutch your purse. You don't want to give him a reaction and have him mock you the entire way into town. Instead, you both walk in silence, taking in the morning air and the sound of the birds.

Occasionally your purse will hit James's hip and he'll frown, opening to say another snarky comment until he sees a keychain; the one you have of Olive Gnats, a famous chaser from the Montrose Magpies.

"Oh, Gnats, I like her too—" he finds himself admitting before he can remind himself he hates you. 

You startle and clutch your keychain, wanting to hide it from him but then you look down and then back up at James. "O-oh, yeah, she's my favorite player. Her technique is incomparable."

"Seen her match last year?"

"'Course," you say, your tone less on edge now that you're talking about something you clearly love, and the rambling you do so much kicks in, "I would watch her every game ever since I was six years old. Have around ten posters in my room at home, some are old now but—I- I studied her moves when I would play around with my mum and dad—they also played in school—that's how they met—" You cut yourself off, James's earlier taunts ringing in your head. 

Your rambling is ignored as curiously overpowers him and James asks, "You have no siblings to play with?"

You shake your head. "Nope. Only child."

James's hazel eyes soften and he feels a funny feeling in his chest. "Oh, m-me too. Has its perks and its downfalls, y'know?" he whispers as he looks at you from the corner of his eye. His heart pounds.

The sun hits your skin just perfectly and your hair smells like cinnamon shampoo. James feels drawn to you again—just like he had in the beginning—and he wants to stop himself but when you laugh at his comment, he feels like an arrow has just shot his heart. 

"Oh yeah, it certainly does," you sound guarded again and James can't even be upset.

It's his fault you're like this around him.

He opens the door for you when you enter Quality Quidditch Supplies and the little bell rings. Instantly, you're drawn to the newest broom—displayed with polished wood and improved flying qualities—but you turn your head, knowing instantly you can't pay for a broom like that—

"Hey, look at this one," James's excitement tugs at your heart and you walk over, standing beside him as you can't help but admire the broom up close. "It feels amazing," James says as he runs his hand over the smooth wood. He's grinning. "This is the one, isn't it?"

You bite your cheek. You want it to be.

"I don't know, I–haven't seen the others," you whisper, avoiding James's eyes.

"What? What are you talking about? This one is the best by far, you aren't gonna find a better broom."

"I want to look around," you whisper, looking at the price of this broom, and your heart sinks.

"Y/n, this is ridiculous—"

"James, stop," you snap, very clearly annoyed. You can't tell if he means well by being persistent since he's only just now started to show you any form of kindness and this still feels like some cruel joke he's playing on you.

"I can't pay for this one—and the truth is I can't pay for any of these so—I- I think—" you pause, clutching at your purse desperately as you hold in tears of embarrassment. "I should tell McGonagall I couldn't find a broom I liked and I'll borrow an older one from my parents—

—plus, if I buy this one you'll just have another reason to hate me," you finish. 

Your words hit James hard as he takes in what you mean. Shame sneaks up on him instantly as he knows exactly why you would think that. It suddenly hits him just how threatened he's been and as silly as it sounds the only image in James's head is the disappointed look of his mother if she knew he had taken out his own insecurities on you. 

If Euphemia Potter knew how much of a dick he's been to you, she'd be horrified.

He looks at you closely, taking in how embarrassed you look. During tense moments with his friends, Remus had sometimes told him he was a spoiled rich boy—unaware of real struggles — and he'd always brushed him off.

Only this time, he can't unhear Remus's jab as he realizes how foolish he had been to assume anything about you.

"Oh," he whispers.

You look away at the other brooms. "I- I honestly didn't realize how expensive new brooms are. My mum and dad had gotten the other one for my eleventh birthday—I should have been more careful—" You sound sad and James's heart sinks. 

"Hey, listen, it's my fault your broom is broken. I- shouldn't have been so rough on you like I was. I'm sorry," he speaks up, sounding sincere and you look up at him, expecting a better explanation than that. 

"It's no excuse but, the truth is, I was incredibly threatened by you. You're so good, better than me even, and I really want Captain so—"

"I don't want Captain," you say instantly. "I just wanted to be on the team—"

At that point, James remembers what you'd said that night when he was piss-drunk in the Common Room. 'I've always admired you during games.' It dawns on him that you just wanted him to like you and, instead, he'd gone and seen you as an enemy. His chest hurts. 

He has never felt more like an ass than now. 

"Okay, well, um," he whispers, rubbing his nape, "Let me make it up to you then. I'll buy you the broom." James means well, he truly does, but it only makes you feel more embarrassed and you shake your head. 

"No. I don't need your pity," you say instantly as you stare at him, eyes narrowed. 

"I'm not pitying you! I'm fixing my mistake," he exclaims, his voice strained.

You open your mouth to protest when he adds, "Please."

James looks determined as he rummages through his robes for any spare change he can use and then he curses. "Shit, I didn't bring enough money," he mumbles and lifts his head, looking up at you with his puppy-like brown eyes. "I promise I'll buy it for you, Y/n. Okay? I'll make this right," he adds again and your expression softens. 

"Sure, James," you whisper, not entirely sure if you believe him. 

* * *

He did buy you the broom.

James had it wrapped neatly with a small letter signed J.P accompanied with the words, "I'm sorry," scribbled onto the parchment. 

Since that morning, he didn't ignore you anymore, he included you with the other teammates, and he played fair with you—even complimenting you sometimes. McGonagall had seen the change in dynamic and so had Ines, which she'd praised you both for.

"Good job, Y/l/n," Ines grins as she packs up her bags, "you and Potter seem to be getting on much better now." She winks and her comment passes over you as you focus on untying your ponytail, rubbing your scalp. 

The rest of the team has fallen in front of you, laughing and chatting as they walk back to the dorm. You're lost in the moment, struggling with holding your bag as you run your hand in your hair, the tightness of the ponytail was causing you a headache. 

Suddenly, you suddenly squeal when you almost trip over James—who had bent down to tie his shoes and had been separated from the group. 

He grunts and stands up, turning around and catching your arm as he steadies you. 

"Oh hey, Y/n," he grins, and then he glances at your poor bag hanging from your arm. Swiftly, he takes your bag and holds it over his other shoulder, not even commenting on the gesture. 

"Want some company walking back to the Common Room?" he asks casually.

You blow some strands away from your eyes as you look up at him, grateful for the momentary relief from your bag as the pain in your scalp subsides.

"Sure," you say, reaching for your bag but James holds it up and away from you. 

"Let me be a gentleman here," he teases.

You roll your eyes with no malice. "Hero complex much, Potter?"

He chuckles as you walk inside the school, side by side. James winks at you. "On the contrary, Y/l/n, I am the hero. Don't need a complex when you are one, y'know?"

You laugh, hearing the joking infliction in his voice as your heart feels lighter. Much to your better judgment, you've actually been enjoying James's company these last weeks, and talking to him alone like this has been even more fun. "I think you think much too highly of yourself, James." you tease him back. 

"I am wounded, Y/n." He fakes hurt as he puts a hand over his heart. 

"It's true is it not?" you say with a smirk and James narrows his eyes as you turn a corner, getting closer to the Common Room. You shrug, catching yourself. "Nothing wrong with some confidence." 

James grins, his eyes sparkling playfully as he gently nudges your side with his elbow. "You could learn a few things from me, eh?"

You frown. "Are you saying I'm not confident?"

James hums, smirking, "'M just giving you some advice, love. You have the skills now, you gotta trust yourself." You both approach the entrance and you mutter the secret word to the Fat Lady Painting and the door cracks open. You push it further with your palm. 

"Since when are you giving me Quidditch advice to make me better?" 

James turns around once he's inside and hands you your bag. "Since I realized if you can't beat them, join them," he jokes with a smile, "We're a team now, Y/n. I know I was a real dick in the beginning, but I look out for my teammates. You're my teammate, so now I look after you."

Your shoulders relax and a small smile tugs your lips. "Thanks, James," you say honestly and rest your bag higher on your shoulder, tucking some hair behind your ear as you smooth the knots a little. "I really appreciate that."

"Anytime," James whispers as you walk up the stairs to the girl's dorm. Sirius whistles from where he's sitting on one of the couches, his head leaning against the armrest as he watches you and James. Once you disappear from view, James spins around, his eyes narrowing at his best friend. 

Sirius winks and looks at James's sneakers. "This is the third time this week you've used that stupid shoelace excuse, Prongs. At this point, just stay back and ask her to walk with you, you chicken."

James's cheeks turn crimson and he walks over to shove Sirius, "Shut up." 

Sirius just laughs loudly. 

* * *

You've never felt so nervous in your life as you clutch the wood of your new, expensive, broom. The wind has picked up and everyone can tell the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor seekers are having a hard time finding the snitch. You're breathing heavily as you look around, seeing Maria—the third chaser—throw James the Quaffle. 

James easily catches the Quaffle, avoiding the Ravenclaws on his right as he swoops lower. Your adrenaline is pumping and you think you know what he's doing. You hope. You fly closer and higher to the hoops, letting James know you're open.

Your memory flashes to the beginning when he wouldn't pass you the Quaffle under any circumstances, even if it cost the team the point. He can be so headstrong and your body is buzzing as you watch him closely.

What if he doesn't throw it to you? You have the perfect shot. 

James looks at you from the corner of his eye, shoving a Ravenclaw with his shoulder to disorient them.

He could want the score for himself—but he's surrounded, he could miss.

The sound of the crowd is drowned out when you see his arm raise and he's communicating with his eyes. You nod, jumping into action as you fly closer and avoid the Ravenclaws as you catch the Quaffle and throw your arm back, throwing the Quaffle directly into the middle hoop. 

Just as you score, Oliver—Ravenclaw's seeker—catches the snitch and the whistle blows. Gryffindor was leading already and you glance at the board. It didn't matter that Oliver caught the snitch, your goal had helped secure Gryffindor the win. Cheers erupt around you and you find yourself in a trance as your feet hit the ground and you clutch your broom.

"Y/n!" Someone calls your name as the ringing in your ears dies and you feel hands wrap around your waist, hoisting you up in the air as you twirl around. A gasp escapes your lips as you clutch onto the culprit's shoulder, the cheers continuing to echo around the pitch.  

"You did so amazingly," James's excitement shines as he slowly lowers you back onto the ground, your chest brushing against his as your hands find themselves wrapped around his neck. You stare into his eyes, feeling his proximity and you suddenly feel warm and dizzy.

Has he always been this handsome?

"James." His name is the only thing your brain can think to say as he refuses to let you go. He also looks breathless and his cheeks have turned a faint shade of pink as his eyes roam over your features. 

You want to tell him a thousand things. How good he was, how you're so happy the team won, how honored you are he trusted you enough to throw you the Quaffle to make the score. You want to ask if you were more confident this time and if he's noticed your effort—but instead, any attempt at words is drowned by his lips meeting yours. 

You don't kiss him back for a moment, your hand faltering behind his neck as your fingers find the baby hairs on his nape. He feels so close and your lips part a little, kissing him back carefully as your eyes shut. 

James's hands squeeze your waist and for a moment the crowd and the team are completely forgotten until James pulls away, and the sound of cheering returns as the realization of what happened dawns on you both. 

"I'm sorry," James mutters, stepping away but he keeps a hand on you. 

"You're sorry?" you ask, your voice small. 

James hesitates, looking at you seriously and then he shakes his head. "No. I'm not sorry."

Your lips curl upwards and, still ignoring everyone around you, you pull him down by the collar of his shirt and kiss his lips again. James grins against your mouth, his heart thumps in his chest as all he can think about is you.

"Oi, no PDA on the pitch, you pervs!" Sirius's teasing voice suddenly shouts out from somewhere beside you but you're almost positive no one else is worried about you and James considering everyone's celebrating on their own.

James must feel the same because he throws up a middle finger with the hand that leaves your waist and you laugh into his mouth, reaching for his arm to stop him.

"Prick," James mutters to Sirius, "You're annoying," he adds with some playful bite. 

He turns to you and his gaze softens. "But you're lovely," he whispers, earning him the prettiest smile he's ever seen and he's never been more proud.

tags: @mischievousmoony, @sayitlikethecheese

[demonpiratehuntress]

gentleman

Roronoa Zoro x F!Reader

summary - after the events of Alabasta, everyone is unwinding in the different gendered baths. while the other men are quick to look over the wall, your boyfriend is much more respectful. until he gets to be alone with you in that bath, that is...

warnings - none, maybe slightly suggestive at the end but mostly fluff, may be errors since I'm writing this with a sprained wrist and my hand is not moving like it should

a/n: just a short fluffy drabble since i'm stunned that i have way too many angsty Zoro fics. also, this gif-

You barely turned around when you heard Nami yelling at the boys for trying to peek at her, Vivi and you. You just turned your head slightly, an amused smile on your lips as your body relaxed into the warm water, soothing your sore and aching muscles.

"Honestly! Zoro is the only one with any decency!"

You laughed at that, and then again when you heard groaning coming from the other side of the wall. It seemed they had all gotten a shock from her outburst and fell, which was well-deserved. Nami settled back into the bath with you and Vivi, grumbling about how annoying they were and threatening to hit all of them when you got back to the Going Merry. You and Vivi giggled, before resuming your conversation.

Much later, you were still soaking yourself in the water even though Nami and Vivi had long since left to go change. You wanted to stay a bit longer, enjoying the quiet. But seconds later, you suddenly felt arms around your waist, pulling you to a strong, hard chest. You smiled, not bothering to open your eyes.

"You were waiting for this, hmm?"

"Baths are always better with you," the swordsman mumbled into your neck, his touch sending pleasurable tingles down your spine.

"Nice to know you didn't look at the other girls while they were bathing," you teased him. "What a gentleman."

A soft kiss landed on your bare shoulder, "I'm not like that pervy cook. Or the rest of those perverts. Besides, I have no interest in seeing anyone but you naked."

His words made you shiver, and a blush crept onto your cheeks, "That-I-" You didn't know what to say, flustered beyond words.

He chuckled, gently grabbing your chin to turn your head so you could look at him, "My eyes are only ever on you." He enjoyed seeing you like this, he enjoyed watching you blush and stutter at his words, knowing only he could do this to you. "But I'm surprised Chopper tried to look."

"Sanji probably encouraged him," you giggled, leaning back against your boyfriend. He was right, the bath was so much better with him in it. His arms tightened around your waist again, and you hummed in satisfaction.

"I'm going to kill that stupid cook for looking at you like this," Zoro grumbled, annoyed that they had the nerve to try and see you bare - something only reserved for him.

You laughed and kissed his cheek, "I won't stop you. That was annoying."

He grinned devilishly, "Permission to hurt him? You must be in a good mood today."

"Well..." You shifted so you were now straddling him in the water, arms around his neck as you leaned in close. "I do feel very relaxed, but my mood is much improved thanks to you."

He smiled, and moved forward to connect your lips. Unlike your usual rushed, brief pecks during the heat of a battle or before one, this kiss was deep, slow, and long. He took his time to kiss you, hands gently massaging your waist, before he brought one of them up to rest on your cheek. This was a side of him rarely seen, because of the constant danger that you were always in, so you enjoyed these few and far between moments. He kissed you reverently, like this affectionate gesture was an act of worship, and to him it was. Because to him, you were a goddess. One that he would happily spend the rest of his life devoting his time and attention to.

"I love you."

His whispered confession caused butterflies to bloom in your gut, and a shy but loving smile to grace your lips. You trailed gentle and featherlight kisses along his shoulder, letting him relax and tilt his head back with closed eyes.

"I love you too."

Moments like these allowed Zoro to be truly vulnerable, something you both appreciated. You were happy that he felt safe enough with you to be vulnerable, to expose his deepest feelings and to just be him. Because he was always acting as the crew's valiant protector, a feat that honoured him but also left no space for him to care for himself. Until you came along.

"You're so beautiful."

You hadn't realised he'd opened his eyes again until you looked up from his shoulder and saw him staring at you. Love, admiration and awe filled his eyes, and a deep blush settled on your cheeks.

"I could say the same to you."

He hummed, but dismissed your comment, "I mean it. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Sometimes I think I'm dreaming." His hand returned to your cheek, this time to gently caress it.

You smiled, and leaned in to kiss him again, "Does this feel like a dream?"

He smiled against your lips, "No. Which only means I died and went to heaven."

You laughed, "I thought you didn't believe in that."

"Meeting you changed my mind."

Your heart thundered in your chest, your brain malfunctioning at such sweet words. You were left speechless, and he noticed, making him smirk cockily.

"Now who's making who speechless?"

"Still me making you speechless," you smiled mischievously, trailing your hands up his thick thighs. His breath hitched, and he let out a strangled half-gasp, half-moan when you reached exactly where he wanted you.

"Fuck."

"That's what I intend to do to you."

[lordprettyflackotara]

Hey Tara, could you do some Toby fluff? Like, specifically a fempov after a nasty breakup...??? Sorry for the weird request ik you usually do smut but I love your style and need some sort of comfort after my boyfriend left me, even if it is just a fictional character... Love you ❤️

-🫀

crown || ticci toby

‘wait, you can’t please everybody’

sum: after a messy breakup you’re undeniably heartbroken and toby wants to make you feel better

tw: unintentionally a little angsty but mostly fluff

a/n: my dearest anon, i am so sorry i just now saw your request. i hope this is not too late and hopefully helps you navigate through your journey and makes you feel a little better. i went through a messy breakup around christmas as well and feel like this resonates with me as well. i’m not the best at writing fluff but i tried, i hope you enjoy and are doing well <3

“I-I found you!”

You could hear that Toby was excited, even as your back was turned to him. You had been curled up in a ball for the past hour, hiding in the attic of the mansion. Dust covered boxes were scattered around the room, your small form perched beside the oval window. You didn’t say anything, unable to match Toby’s typical perky energy. Your knees were tucked to your chest, your gaze settled on the grass outside.

Toby frowned slightly at your lack of a response, the young proxy walking around one of the boxes. “Hey, y-you good?” He asked unsurely. Toby wasn’t good at handling negative emotions, or so he thought. The moonlight gave him a good look at your face, which made his eyes go wide. Bags hung under your eyes, your lips chapped so much they were becoming cracked. Your eyes were undeniably puffy, which he suspected to be from hours of crying. He approached you quickly, squatting down in front of you. He shoved his orange goggles onto his head, licking his own dry lips.

“T-Talk to m-me, what’s wrong?”

The concern lacing Toby’s words was almost enough to send you over the edge again. You inhaled, trying to refrain from more salty tears from escaping your waterline.

“We didn’t workout.”

Your words hung heavy in the air, your ex boyfriend’s name on the tip of your tongue. It felt odd to think about, nevertheless say out loud. Toby’s brain instantly clicked, his bandaged hand reaching out to touch yours. “That’s a g-good thing though r-right? Wasn’t he an asshole towards t-the end anyways?” He asked unsurely. Your eyes were sharp as you met his puppy dog gaze, your flicker of anger immediately diminishing. Instead you took a deep breath, realizing how irrational your scattered emotions were.

In through your nose, out through your mouth.

“It’s not that simple. You don’t know, how horrid the actual breakup was. It was like, the shell of the person I used to know. The man I used to know vanished right before my eyes and got replaced with whatever the fuck he is now,” You rambled. You could feel yourself getting worked up, Toby’s eyes softening as he looked up at you. “I spent so much time, so much time with him and now it’s wasted. Gone. Like it meant nothing at all to him, but it meant everything to me,” You continued. Tears flooded your waterline with ease, painful flashes of memories appearing in your mind. You bit your bottom lip, attempting to stop the tears from flowing. “And I don’t know how i’m supposed to do this. How i’m supposed to waltz around like I know what i’m doing. He was my rock and now he’s gone. It’s like he was never here and I feel like i’m going insane,” You whimpered lowly, unable to stop the tears from free falling.

Toby was never good with dealing with heavy human emotions. Most of the time the responsibility of handling them was handled by someone else in the mansion. But you were the apple of his eye, one his favorite people to walk the planet. So instead he tuned into his instincts, hoping that what he was about to do was even semi socially appropriate. He rose to his feet, sitting across from you on the bench built into the large window. Stretching his long arms outwards he wrapped them around you, pulling you against him abruptly. You tensed for a moment, feeling Toby hold you so close. It wasn’t until your brain registered his warmth and earthy scent that you finally allowed yourself to crumble.

You felt like your lungs were going to collapse, your breath shallow as you nuzzled your face into his chest. Your chest felt tight, your sobs muffled as you cried into his signature jacket. Your soft sounds only made him hold you tighter, the brunette careful to not squeeze you too hard. Toby swallowed, bringing his slender fingers to your hair. Unsurely, he began to stroke it, hoping it would bring you some sort of ease. He continued these actions until you had no tears left to cry, your wheezing now simmering down to deep breaths. “I’m s-sorry I don’t h-have the inhaler,” Toby apologized, regretting leaving it with Tim. (It was in fact Tim’s inhaler).

His sudden outburst made you chuckle, even as a few more stray tears slid down your cheeks. You pulled back a few inches, just enough for Toby to see your face. He didn’t like seeing you like this, so hurt. Without thinking he raised his hand, fingertips grazing your cheek as he tucked some stray hairs behind your ear. “F-Fuck him, you’re the important one, y-you’re the one,” Toby said as confidently as he could muster. You knew his words meant well, even if they didn’t come out the way he meant for them to. He used the pad of his thumb to swipe away the few remaining tears, cupping your cheeks. Your eyes fluttered closed, your face relaxing in the palms of his hands.

Social constructs were a mystery to Toby, truthfully. But he knew in this moment to do what he thought was best. He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. He ignored any emotion he felt towards the gesture, his attention completely centralized on you. “Y-You know i’m not the b-b-best with words, but I p-promise everything’s gonna be okay,” He mumbled, his chocolate eyes filled with worry as he tried to catch your gaze. Your glassy eyes eventually met his, your bottom lip trembling as you confessed, “He’s the one who left me, Toby.”

You might as well have shot him dead then and there. Toby couldn’t feel pain, due to a list of neurological disorders he couldn’t bother to remember. But he knew for a fact he felt a pang of despair mixed with anger thud in his chest. “P-Piece of shit,” He grumbled, his hands still cupping your cheeks. The animalistic side of Toby wanted to find him, to make him hurt for causing you so much pain. But the soft look in your eyes, the way you were borderline clinging to him, made those thoughts evaporate. You came first. You needed him. You needed Toby more than you needed anyone. Swallowing thickly Toby tilted your head upwards, forcing you to look at him.

“You’re b-better off without him, alright? I never liked him anyways,” Toby started. Maybe this wasn’t the correct way to comfort someone, maybe he should try a different route instead of spewing insults. He dug into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small joint. “It’s n-not much but, we can s-smoke and talk about it,” He offered. This made a sad smile creep up your lips, your hands moving to open the window. “I think i’d like that Toby,” You agreed. You both readjusted in your seats, turning to face the window. Toby admired the moon as you took the joint between your lips, sparking the lighter. Again, social constructs were foreign to him. But as he threw his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer, he got the sense he made the right decision.

[thef1diary]

I absolutely love your writing!!!

Are you able to write something where reader is in a relationship with Max or Carlos or Lando. They sometimes playfight and yn usually wins. But one day the driver has to go somewhere else and uses his real strength to stop playing. And yn is shocked that he used to just pretend. Slightly angsty but mostly fluff.

Only if you can please :)

Playfight | M. Verstappen

warnings: slight angst, mainly fluffy

wc: 800+

masterlist

© thef1diary 2024. all rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my work

You and Max have always been close. Long before you started dating, you were best friends, partners in crime, and each other's confidants. Your days were filled with inside jokes, playful banter, and those moments of playfighting that always left you breathless with laughter. You loved the way Max engages in these little tussles, seemingly evenly matched, making it all the more thrilling.

Today was one of those days. The afternoon sun streamed through the windows of your apartment, casting a warm, golden glow across the living room. Lounging on the couch, you and Max are scrolling through your phones and sharing random memes when the playful urge strikes you.

You nudge Max with your foot, a mischievous grin spreading across your face. "Bet I can take you down in under a minute."

He looks up, eyebrows raised, and chuckles. "Oh, really? Is that a challenge?"

You nod, laughing as you leap off the couch and adopt a mock fighting stance. Max follows suit, rising to his feet with a grin that mirrors yours. He's always game for a little fun, no matter how ridiculous.

You start your usual routine of playful attacks, knowing exactly how to make him laugh and stumble. But today, Max seemed a little distracted, glancing at his watch every few seconds. You notice but choose to ignore it, too caught up in the moment to let it break your stride.

"Alright, alright, you win," he says, attempting to end the fight quickly.

But you're not ready to let him off the hook. "Oh no, you don't get off that easy!" you tease, lunging at him again.

"Seriously, schat, I've got—" he starts, but you cut him off with a lighthearted shove.

"Come on, baby, fight back!" you urge, laughing as you goad him into continuing.

He sighs, clearly reluctant. "I really don't have time for this right now," he says, but you're too lost in the moment to listen.

You push him again, harder this time, and his expression changes. Without warning, Max grabs your wrists, twists you around, and gently but firmly pins you face-first to the couch. The sudden display of strength leaves you stunned, your breath catching in your throat.

"There, I win," he mumbles into your ear, before releasing you as he noted the time on his watch.

You lie there for a moment, processing what just happened. Slowly, you push yourself up and turn to face him, your mind racing. "Max... what was that?" you ask, unable to mask the shock in your voice.

He rubs the back of his neck, looking slightly guilty. "I'm sorry. I really have to go. I didn't mean to—"

"You've always let me win, haven't you?" you interrupt, the realization hitting you hard.

Max sighs, his shoulders slumping. "Yeah," he admits softly. "I didn't want to ruin the fun."

You sit up fully, the playful mood evaporated, replaced by a mixture of surprise and a sting of hurt. "Why?"

He shrugs, avoiding your gaze. "I liked seeing you happy. It was never about winning or losing for me."

Your heart clenches, a lump forming in your throat as you process his words. "You've been holding back this whole time," you say, more to yourself than to him.

He nods, finally meeting your eyes. "I didn't want you to feel... I don't know, like you couldn't beat me. It was more important to me that you had fun."

You reach out, taking his hand in yours, squeezing it gently. "You're too sweet for your own good, you know that?"

He chuckles softly, squeezing your hand in return, but the tension between you remains. "I try, and I'm sorry for rushing off like this. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

You shook your head, preventing a smile from forming on your lips as you thought of an idea. "No, don't make it up to me, we'll just have to rematch."

He quirked up an eyebrow, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Are you sure you want to do that again?"

A grin breaks through despite your best efforts to remain serious. "Absolutely. But this time, let's make it more interesting. How about we use Nerf guns or water guns, you name it. Let's see who really comes out on top."

Max laughs, the sound easing the last of the tension between you. "Now that sounds like a challenge I can't refuse. But remember, you asked for it."

You nod, feeling a thrill of excitement. "It's on, baby. Next time, no holding back."

He presses a kiss to your forehead, still smiling as he heads for the door. "I'll be ready. Just don't be too disappointed when you lose."

With a smile, you settle back, imagining the thrill of the next fight. It won't just be about winning or losing—it will be about showing Max that you're ready to match his strength, playfulness, and love, shot for shot.

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @wonnou @jointhehunt67 @helenemandl6 @charlesleclercsonlywife @dreamingonbed @heylookwhoitis @67-angelofthelordme-67 @lochnoch @llando4norris @monsieurbacteria6 @namgification @lilymurphy03 @sargeantdumbass @hiireadstuff @racingheartsposts @d3kstar @xjval @namjoonswaifu @isabellewinchester @thedecalcomania-blog @casperlikej @khaylin27 @mlioravanfleet @mehrmonga @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @bokutos-babyowl

[vad-hander]

NOW, ARE YOU HAPPY? Holiday Special

pairing: idol!Jaehyun x reader

others: idol!Taeyong

genre: one-shot, romance, smut, fluff, angst, family au

warnings: parents au, proposal, marriage, angsty conversations, but mostly romance and family life

words: 12,5 k

summary: after your pathetic attempt to leave Jaehyun in the past, you two finally found a way to make this relationship work. with your newborn baby, the two of you enjoy the domesticity of this relationship, aftertastes of your previous decisions and Jaehyun's job souring your life slightly. But the man that you love finds a way to make it all up to you on the New Years night.

________

this is a holiday special for Now, are you happy? You could read this as a separate story, but for better understanding of certain lines I suggest reading the original fic first

________

“I got it!“ You announced, the shopping bag in your arm entering the room before you. “I was lucky enough to find everything we needed at our convenience store.“ you finally lowered your hand to see your family, your voice completely changing in a little squeal “Hello my little baby angel!“ You left the bag at the entrance of your living room and ran to pepper kisses over your daughter’s cheeks. 

“She woke up maybe 10 minutes ago and was immediately upset she couldn’t see mommy.“ Jaehyun continued to bounce a little with the baby in his arms even though she was completely calm by now. 

“I think she gets upset even when she sees mommy.“ You chuckled, departing from them to pick up the grocery bag. 

“I was trying to be sweet, gorgeous.“ Jaehyun chuckled, switching his arms. 

“I know, but still“ you mused.

“Do you want to do breakfast or do you want to take care of Sohee?“ Jaehyun kindly gave you options, you looked at them getting closer to hear your answer. 

“I’ll do breakfast, thanks.“ you pecked Sohee’s cheek once again, seeing Jaehyun stick his cheek out for a kiss as well. You did exactly what he wanted - pecked his cheek and almost lost any interest in breakfast when Jaehyun’s lips caught up with you on the way back and kissed them.  

“Okay, we’ll play.“ Jaehyun announced excitedly and walked the distance back to the play rug, descending Sohee on the floor. You watched her crawl over to the bite toy she loved so much and looked away to focus on breakfast. 

“Do you need any help?“ Jaehyun called out your name, as you made your way towards the dining table to set the cutlery.

“No, the breakfast’s almost ready. Do you need help?“ You teased him blindly with a chuckle and turned around to see what they were doing. You wouldn’t be surprised if you’d see him calling for a little bit of help. They seemed to be perfectly fine, though, Sohee giggled away at the face expressions Jaehyun was making, while laying on her dad’s stomach and cuddling him with her tiny arms. Jaehyun took a loud breath in and as he leaned in and peppered kisses all over her cheeks, Sohee giggled even louder, with that pure and bright baby laugh that took all your breath away. You turned away and turned on the kettle, getting closer to your family right after. Jaehyun reached out a hand when you were close enough to sit you down next to him, when he’d sensed you wanted to get on the couch, and you not so gracefully plopped down, with your arms over Jaehyun’s shoulder, so you’d be able to lay your head on the back of your hand and not hurt yourself over his bony build. 

“I can’t believe she’s growing so fast.“ You sighed, ruffling Sohee’s short hair. 

“Want to give mommy a cuddle?“ Jaehyun whispered into her ear. “Will you give mommy a cuddle?“ you smiled, as your daughter reached out her hands to you and you leaned in, for her hands to reach you and pepper kisses on her tiny nose and cheeks. Your fingers held onto her back for support, as her moves were still wobbly. You leaned in more and took a big loud breath in off the top of her head. 

“Ugh, she smells so good.“ You admitted for the millionth time, running your fingers over her head and making her giggle at the tickling sensation. “I can’t get enough of that baby scent.“ You glanced at Jaehyun, who looked at you two lovingly, while patting Sohee softly.

“Like… a fresh human.“ Jaehyun indulged your feelings. “She’s so warm and tiny and cute and squishy. I can’t let go of her once I see her. Like these eyes are just magnetic. I feel hypnotised and suddenly nothing actually matters.“ Sohee turned her head at Jaehyun’s voice just in time and they locked eyes, the man being completely soaked in in an instance.

“I feel that too, all the time.“ You agreed because he was so right about all of it.

“Did we make a magician and don’t know yet?“ Jaehyun looked at you, only for a split second before he was glued once again to his child.

“Aren’t we just obsessed parents?“ you giggled. 

“Yeah, you’re probably more right.“ he nodded, scrunching his face up entertained. “Can you say ma-ma?“ Jaehyun sang, his eyes two crescent moons as he watched you stare lovingly at the human you created. “Sohee-ya, can you say mama?“ He sang once again. 

“Da-da.“ she replied to him, making you both chuckle inevitably. 

“Can you say na-na?“ You sang to her, Sohee losing her attention on the necklace on your neck, making you repeat yourself. 

“Na-na.“ the girl replied, moving her body back to her dad, cuddling against his chest. 

“Can you say da-da?“ You continued and with no repetition you got a very clear answer.

“Da-da.“

“Of course.“ You chuckled. 

“Can you say ma-ma, though?“ Jaehyun tried once again, only to be met with another fail. 

“Da-da.“ The girl said once again and looked at you with her big baby eyes.

“No singing for mama, I guess.“ you dropped your head back in desperation, only to lower your eyes and see these two being in their own world, Jaehyun peppering kisses over her temple, while Sohee tried to bite onto Jaehyun’s shirt sleeve.

“She looks just like you, not like I’m complaining, but she also only ever calls out for dada and if you’re there, only wants to cuddle with you. I carried her all those months and thought that’ll give us an unbreakable bond, but somehow all she wants is you.“ You pouted and squinted your eyes a little, Jaehyun not even trying to hide his amusement with a smile, his dimples popping the deepest, reaching out a hand to caress your cheek. 

“I actually think she’s a perfect copy of her mommy.“ His thumb tickled your jaw.

“Yeah?“ You rolled your eyes a little unamused. 

“Yeah, always clinging onto me, calling my name and asking for kisses and cuddles.“ Jaehyun bit his lip, watching you push away from his touch a little. “I think since you carried her while being so down bad for me played a role in her mental build. You’re very clearly bonded and she just wants and does what her mom does.“

“You mentioning my love for you in that way kind of makes it sound like you’ve got a very big head.“ You gave him a look.

“If I were you I’d be going around doing the same, though.“ He returned the look. 

“Well my head’s not that big so I’m keeping your obsession with me very private, unlike you.“ You quickly got up, sensing he’d want to touch you somehow and moved around the room.

“So you do admit you’re all obsessed with me.“ Only to pause when he finished his sentence. You licked your teeth, shaking your head disapprovingly, watching Jaehyun move Sohee onto her play mat. The biggest grin not leaving his mouth even for a second. 

“Oh, shut up.“ Jaehyun stood up, catching up to you, attaching himself to your back, wrapping arms over your torso. 

“I’m sure if it was appropriate, you’d glue to me like that, right baby?“ His lips lowered on your shoulder blades at last words.

“Mmh.“ You agreed, trying to make yourself sound as dry as possible, and pressed a button on the coffee machine, moving over the room to check on the rice cooker. You didn’t even need to do that, it would beep, once the rice is cooked, but you just had to busy yourself to not give in and cling onto Jaehyun like he wanted you to. He continued to move with you, glued to your back, helping you reach the tallest cupboard to get a teabag out of it, helping you close it and dispose the packaging into a bin. 

“Oh, by the way,“ he paused, watching you pour the water over the bag. As soon as the kettle touched the kitchen counter, Jaehyun continued to speak “Bad news, I got my schedule for December from my manager.“ He paused, his palm leaving your waist to squeeze your fingers.

“Yeah?“ You held your breath, fidgeting with kettle, you grabbed it once again, to place it back on it’s designated spot. He already said it was bad news, what exactly were you expecting?

“I have schedules on both Christmas and New Years Eve.“ You gave him a nod and grabbed both your cups to place on the table, Jaehyun let go of you with how suddenly you moved around. “Don’t go quiet, talk to me.“ He caught up to you, nudging on your neck with his nose, sensing that you were upset.

“See, I told you.“ You sighed, it was obvious, you knew those schedules are going to be confirmed before they were actually set and both his manager and Jaehyun were informed. Nothing ever changes. “It was obvious, every year’s the same.“ You really didn’t understand what he was hoping for and why did he even think anything would change. No one cared he had a baby, no one should even know he had one. Jaehyun being busy on holidays was a very normal thing to you, you always knew it, but somehow his hopefulness also made you believe in impossible. 

“I still had a little hope.“ He admitted.

“I don’t know what you were hoping for.“ You shook your head. Not in a disapproving or upset way, just matter of factly. You never stood a chance against his job, you were lucky enough to work it our for yourself pretty early, it kept you sane through all those years.

“I’m sorry that it’s like this again this year. You were right, saying we can’t be a normal family.“ Jaehyun’s voice changed, the hold on your body got tighter. You could feel he was constantly reflecting on all the words you told him when you tried to run away from him, and it constantly made you not well, because he was making his life difficult, when the only intention of your words was to hurt him enough he’d stop loving you. 

“It would be a very blatant lie, if I said that I enjoy loneliness on holidays. But it’s not your fault and definitely not something to be sorry about. I was expecting this to happen, so I’m not actually upset. I’m more upset your hopes were crushed.“ You turned around in his hold, caressing his cheeks with your fingers. “You might be away for holidays, but we’ll have you for the whole of January and then some more, and we will have the best birthday celebration for you and will be the perfect little family, while we still have time. Before she has to go to daycare and I will return to the office and all your schedules pile up like crazy.“ 

“About that-.“ You almost rolled your eyes, you knew exactly the words Jaehyun wanted to tell you. How he didn’t see a point in your return to the office, and there was no point in Sohee going to daycare. He had the perfect plan in his head, you loved his plan, it was still difficult for you mentally to just put all of you on his shoulders, it really felt like you wouldn’t like yourself anymore if he did that, you really didn’t want to go down that spiral. Work was the only thing to keep your mind occupied from spiralling down a hole of pathetic fear, sometimes loneliness and even helplessness.

“No, no, no. It’s not a discussion for this beautiful morning. Shh.“ you silenced him with your words, also closing his mouth with your lips on top of that. You weren’t about to give in to the devil and leave work, cause you knew for sure it’ll be so painfully hard to go back this time, if even possible at all.

“Still, it’s our baby girls first Christmas and we can’t even have a proper family celebration. I feel like shit.“ Jaehyun admitted, resting his forehead against yours. 

“I’m sure she will not see any difference if we move Christmas by one day. Don’t beat yourself over this. You’re the best to both of us, always.“ Your voice suddenly turned to whispering and your mouth covered Jaehyun’s once more. 

“I just hope she knows daddy loves her.“ He cooed, making you pause.

“It’s been months…“ You swallowed a chuckle, moving your head away from Jaehyun. “and I still can’t get used to you calling yourself daddy.“ You couldn’t hold back a smile, when Jaehyun gifted you the sauciest grin.

“Why can’t you, mommy?“ Jaehyun asked teasingly, leaving a kiss on your temple.

“Agh-.“ you shook your head disapprovingly, once again. “We’ll just stick to our tradition of celebrating in the morning, it’s our little thing and I love it. And I love you.“

“Love you.“ Jaehyun nodded his head and you tickled his nape to lift his spirits.

-

“How did your beloved boyfriend take our schedule for the upcoming month?“ Taeyong teased over the phone, clicking of his mouse feeling very much like home, you could almost close your eyes and imagine yourself in your old apartment, before Sohee made a noise that signalled she’ll start crying in a second and your eyes shifted to the watch. 

“Oh, wait, it’s Sohee’s lunch time. I need to feed her.“ Your feet took you quickly over to her play mat. 

“Like, now?“ Taeyong asked and the tone of his voice made you chuckle.

“Well yeah, it’s not like she’s going to sit and wait patiently until I finish talking with you.“ You shouted, hoping your voice would still make it through the phone as you walked away.

“But I’m here?“ 

“Yeah, and you’re on voice only, why you’re scared? and you’re on speaker, by the way. She’s totally listening.“ you gave your baby a smile and squatted to get her in your arms.

“Oh hello my little bundle of joy.“ Taeyong cooed over the phone in the sweetest tone. “It’s uncle T.“ He changed his voice back to normal as he addressed you. “Did she recognise me?“

“I think she did, she’s smiling. Wait, let me get her to food.“ You settled on the couch, your phone finally next to you and Sohee ready to get her milk. 

“Food?“ 

“My boob, Taeyong. I just didn’t want to say it like that. I didn’t want you to think of my breasts-“ you sighed exasperated, lifting your shirt up. 

“I wouldn’t think of your breasts even if I was paid for it-“ he sounded disgusted, you were glad he did.

“I-.“ Still there was an urge to fight with him on the topic, if only Taeyong would let you speak.

“Okay, can we quit the boob talk.“ You nodded in agreement, even though he could not see you. “What did Jaehyun think of the schedule? He didn’t read my messages. Where is he, anyway?“

“Shooting his brand deal.“ You bragged a little. 

“Oh okay.“ Taeyong chuckled.

“Yeah he’s a big boy now.“ You laughed in unison with your best friend.

“So you’re avoiding the question because he was upset?“ Taeyong cut straight to the chase.

“He was, but we agreed that it’s okay.“ You pressed Sohee against your chest and felt her mouth on yourself.

“I’m a little worried for him and the way he’s been doing things.“ The clicking of Taeyong’s mouse paused, it made you alert. He only paused his games at serious matters. 

“Why?“you tried to be nonchalant. 

“He’s got that baby fever real bad.“ Duh, he very clearly does. You wouldn’t say it in Taeyong’s face, it’s clear. 

“He seems fine to me.“ You lied to not get yourself all over the place once again. He did get the baby fever, he was obsessed with Sohee and spending time with you two, you could see it was physically hard for him to leave the house. At first you thought he’ll get over it as the time passed by, that he’d settle with the idea that he’s a dad now and lay back a little. He didn’t, it felt like he got more and more attached with every hour passed. You didn’t want him to feel like that, you didn’t know how to stop him from going through this. Talking to Taeyong stressed you out, you really wished you could go back in time and show Taeyong the things he says to you now, when you did very much warn him of the consequence. 

“I feel like he’s losing his senses and the less careful he is, the more open you two to a risk. I only worry about you two being exposed to public, I know how much you’d hate that.“ It felt like Taeyong was beating around the bush and you weren’t about to jump at it and ask him straight what he wanted. No, thanks.

“Ugh, should I worry? What do you mean?“ Taeyong was very generously adding up to your anxiety. 

“He’s just doing exactly what you were predicting.“ 

“Well yeah, that’s what I told you would happen. Ouch!“ You exclaimed and moved Sohee over to the other side.

“What’s wrong?“ Taeyong asked confused.

“Nothing?“ you squeezed your eyes in pain. 

“Are you sure?“

“Yeah, breast-feeding hurts, that’s it.“

“It does?“ He seemed scandalised.

“Apparently yeah, unfortunately you’re not told that beforehand.“ Or maybe you are, if you planned a pregnancy beforehand, you probably would’ve read these things.

“But how does it, she doesn’t have teeth?“ You wanted to tease Taeyong once again, how he really wanted to talk about your boobs today, you held back, though.

“Do you really want me to go into detail how nipples chap and hurt like hell at certain angles because she latches on wrongly sometimes?“

“I have so many questions at that, enough boob talk for one day though.“

“Yeah.“ You chuckled in response, very glad to stop the conversation. 

“I’m sorry though.“ He did sound sorry, you were thankful he cared for you at all costs.

“It’s fine, thanks.“

“So, about Jaehyun.“ Ugh, yeah. You kinda hoped he’d get completely distracted at that.

“Yeah?“ You made a question as you sighed out.

“Can you talk to him? How he should stop doing what he’s doing and get back to normal?“ Taeyong paused every two words, as if he expected you to interrupt him. You just sank deeper into the couch with every two words. You had no idea how to make Jaehyun stop. He was just a girl dad through and through and it came before anything else for him since the day he found out. 

“Ugh, but I don’t know what he’s doing that doesn’t seem normal?“ You took multiple steady breaths, trying to sound casual, trying to not make Taeyong hear how you were blatantly lying and running away from this conversation. “I have no clue what you do at work.“ You were pretty honest at that part, you wouldn’t dare to see what they did at their work - you liked to imagine they were working in finance, or maybe real estate? Anything would be better than thinking of hundreds of thousands of people having an opinion about your close family - one thing is reading them drool - the other is bad mouthing them at every given chance. You went through that with Taeyong years ago, you would never want to even get a glimpse of that on the man you truly loved. “To me, he’s doing normal things, more family oriented, but normal.“ Taeyong sighed. “Just wait for his frontal lobe full development.“ You tried to crack a joke to be more natural.

“And when is that supposed to happen?“ Taeyong sighed once again. You tried to think what age it was meant to be, scratching your temple.

“Agh, scratch that actually, I think by now it’s fully developed.“

-

Your eyes darted from the screen of the TV onto your phone, your mom called you most likely to wish you a very Happy New Year and you picked up, cozying up more into the cushion. 

“Hi mom!“ You chirped, your voice sounding foreign even to your ears since you haven’t really spoken much today. 

“Hello darling. How are you all doing?“ You had to clear your throat to not sound so funny anymore. 

“We’re great. Sohee’s sleeping, I’m watching her and telly.“ Your eyes switched between TV screen and baby monitor.

“We were just watching Jaehyun on TV!“ Your mom announced happily and you smiled, you did just watch him too. 

“Yeah, me too.“ You smiled.

“He’s looking very handsome and happy. It’s a good thing everything worked out well for you two.“ she stated in the I told you so manner. 

“Yes, mom, I know.“ 

“I hope we’ll finally see you get married next year-“ oh wow, what a wild turn for a conversation.

“Mom, we have not planned that at all.“ You meant that you’ve been back together for less than a year after that so called break and since you’ve gotten back together there was not a single chance to talk about marriage, or proposal or making any moves in that direction. Your only focus was Sohee.

“I know honey, I’m just saying we’d be happy to finally see you in a wedding dress.“

“Okay-.“ You nodded, confused. “Happy New Year, mom, wishing you and dad to stay healthy and happy.“

“Thank you honey, your dad is calling me, Happy New Year, bye-bye.“ You dropped your phone on the couch right next to you, your eyes suddenly focusing on the fact that it’s almost midnight, the show you were watching had all celebrities out on stage and you suddenly became very busy, trying to find in the crowd full of strangers your best friend and the man that you loved. Cameraman somehow focused on Jaehyun right next moment and you jerked back on the couch shocked, catching a glimpse of Taeyong, who suddenly waved and smiled at the camera. 

Now that you’ve seen them, you were so invested in what was going on. One of the announcers, who also happened to be Taeyong’s friend you recognised, let everyone know that they’ll start the countdown after a short break and you watched that commercial break like it was the best directed movie. Broadcast returned back to the dome this concert took place in and big numbers popped behind everyone’s backs and as the numbers got lower your heart trembled, because you really wished you could teleport just for the briefest moment next to Jaehyun to give him a kiss. You watched the number change every second. 5…4…3…2…1…  Your phone vibrated as soon as the countdown hit zero and fireworks ran over the screen and you looked down at what it was. So caught up in the notification you forgot how you wanted to wish yourself a Happy New Year. 

From: love

Happy new year, gorgeous

I love you 

Give our baby girl a kiss

And I’m gonna kiss you as soon as I get home

You were so perplexed, Jaehyun was on TV just a minute ago, how the hell did he manage to text you in the process of doing it all? Stupidly enough you tried to dial his number, what if this was pre-recorded and you didn’t know? Expectedly, you were met with no answer on his side, you watched TV for a few more moments in case you’d get a glimpse of him, finally texting him back. 

To: love

How did you get your phone out? I’m so confused

I love you so-so much! Happy new year <3

When exactly am I getting my kisses?

Sohee says she loves daddy too

I hope you’re not staring into the phone like a lovesick fool

Your eyes glued once again to the screen, trying to see Jaehyun in the crowd of celebrities. Your eyes rolled down onto the phone and your messages were read. You looked once again at the screen and different singers were raising their mics to take their parts in the song, but you couldn’t see Jaehyun. You turned off the TV and with tiny steps got to your babies’ crib.

“Are you sleeping well?“ You asked, running your eyes over a child, that breathed steadily “Mommy and daddy love you, happy new year, Sohee-ya“

You watched her sleep for a little while, sitting yourself on the floor. Soon enough it felt a little cold, you crawled into your own bed.

“Hey, gorgeous.“ Jaehyun whispered next to your lips.

“You’re back.“ You raised your head from the pillow, smashing your foreheads on accident, but more importantly, smashing your lips. 

“Yes, love.“ Jaehyun’s palm caressed your back and you pulled back when you needed more air in your lungs. “Happy New Year.“

“Happy New Year“ you pecked his lips once again “What time is it?“

“A little over 1am?“ You opened your mouth surprised, he must’ve teleported home.

“Did you run away early?“ You chuckled, running your fingers through his hair.

“I did. Couldn’t calm myself down until I get to kiss you.“ You melted and kissed his mouth once more. “Are you tired? Did Sohee not behave herself well?“

“No, I just felt cold and got in bed and somehow drifted off. Sohee was on her best behaviour and been sleeping very well.“ 

“We shouldn’t jinx it, I guess.“ Jaehyun smiled and caught your fingers in his.

“Yeah, we better not.“

“So, would mommy not mind if I asked her to get out of bed? And spend a little time together, before it gets too late to pretend like we met the New Years together?“ He laced his fingers through yours and pulled you to sit more.

“Of course, daddy.“ You beamed and Jaehyun stood up, only now allowing for you to see his attire.He was still wearing the suit you saw him in on the stage.“ Did you really, run away?“ Your fingers mindlessly rubbed the collar of his shirt. 

“I did.“ He admitted once again, grabbing your waist to help you stand up. 

“You look handsome, like you always do.“ You cooed, running your hand over his chest and hooking it around his waist. 

“Thanks, love.“ Jaehyun pecked your temple. 

“Wait, if you’re in a suit. Should I put on the dress I had prepared for New Years?“ your face rubbed against Jaehyun’s chest as he teased the skin of your back under your sleeping shirt.

“You prepared a dress?“ He asked softly.

“Before you said you’re busy this year too, I had a little hope you’ll be home, since you believed in it. I didn’t want to tell you, because I knew you’d get all puppy-sad.“ You pulled back and caressed his soft cheek. 

“You should definitely wear it then.“ Jaehyun let go of you and watched you run over to the wardrobe and you took off your sleeping shirt and pants, looking through the closet for the dress, taking it off the hanger and slipping inside it in one swift motion. 

“I even bought new heels in case we’d go somewhere. Wanna see?“ You beamed through the mirror reflection, as you saw Jaehyun walk over to you, wrapping his arm over your solar plexus and peppering your neck in warm kisses. 

“You’re so hot, and sexy, and everything I ever could’ve dreamed of. How are you a real person?“ you felt your body get hot, your fingers instantly wrapping over Jaehyun’s neck to move his face to yours, he fought with you, as his tongue was drawing warm trails over your neck.

“Can’t believe what a cute dress does to you-“ you teased in a whisper. 

“Can’t believe what you are doing to me, I didn’t even see the dress properly in this darkness.“ Jaehyun hugged you tighter, pecking your collarbone like he always does and stared at you through the mirror. “Oh, wait, the heels, you said, sure put them on.“ He let go of you and suddenly the world felt so cold and miserable. His palm patted your bum for a boost and you disappeared inside the wardrobe once again. 

You really fought with the wish to just cling onto him and looked through the shoe rack with super speed, taking the heels out of the box and bringing them in your hands to Jaehyun. Slowly putting both shoes on the floor, you put your feet inside and finally got your face on the same level with the man. He smiled and wrapped your waist once again.

“I actually brought something, let me show you.“ He moved his fingers onto your palm and lacing his fingers through yours dragged you to the living room. As soon as your feet made a single step you paused. The loudest click of the heel against the flooring made the both of you stop. While you were talking in half whispers it slipped your mind that the clicking of the heels will be so loud and potentially could wake Sohee up. 

“Oh damn, Imma take these off.“ You sighed disappointed, already leaning back down to take them off. 

“Hold on.“ Jaehyun stopped you and you straightened your back back up, ready to hear him say anything, when he suddenly bent his body a little, wrapping his arm under your knees, and the next second his back straightened and your body lifted off the floor. You wheezed, probably making more damage to Sohee’s sleep than the heels and closed your mouth with both your hands. “Didn’t I say to hold on?“ Jaehyun smarted with a smirk.

“Oh my god, no, put me down.“ You hissed at the way he held you bridal style, escorting you two to the living room.

“Just a moment, love, I’ll put you down when you’ll be at our destination.“ Jaehyun walked over the living room, lowering your feet to the floor next to the kitchen isle.

“Oh no-o-o.“ You cooed immediately. “You’re so insanely sweet.“ You looked over the table that had the prettiest cake, a bottle of champagne and some very prettily boxed Jeju tangerines.

“I thought that despite us missing New Years Seoul time, it’s definitely New Year somewhere else every hour. We could just pretend we’re in a different timezone.“ Jaehyun bit onto his lip, looking at your reaction, smiling as soon as he was able to see your pouting face. You were honestly touched. He should’ve just gotten back home and fallen asleep immediately. He was on his feet since 4 AM, just a little over 2 hours before it turns into 24 hours and still he thought of you. 

“I love you.“ You whispered, covering Jaehyun’s mouth with yours. Your lips carefully moved over his bottom one, running your tongue over it, to feel the plumpness. “I love you so-so much, sometimes it even makes me sick that I can love a man like that.“ you bit onto your lip, watching Jaehyun biting onto his lip harshly to stop his smile.

“It’s the least I could do.“ Jaehyun ran his fingers over your cheek.

“The least is giving me a kiss and going to bed. You’re doing the most, like you always are.“ Jaehyun pecked your mouth once, and then once more and suddenly you were kissing each other hungrily, every other thought leaving your brain as Jaehyun’s tongue swiped against your lips rhythmically. 

“Wait, let me see the time.“ Jaehyun pulled you back to see the clock on your oven. “We should open the cake, it’s almost 2. We can’t miss this one too.“ 

“My wish already came true.“ You murmured, tapping the tip of his nose with your finger, his eyes making a circle with mischief on his face. He really had a joke in his head cooking up.

“Well, mine didn’t yet.“ cocky eyebrow challenging you for an answer. 

“Oh, it didn’t-“ you teased “We must have different dreams I fear, then.“

“Mine’s not that far from realising so we’ll see.“ Jaehyun teased and worked his fingers over the bottle of champagne. “Do you think Sohee could somehow taste champagne if you’ll have any?“ 

“I don’t think a sip or two does anything.“ You chuckled unsure, it must really be nothing. Your fingers fidgeted with the cake box, finally retrieving it from the packaging. You could see only now how the top of it was decorated with fireworks and champagne glasses, saying happy new year. “Where do you want the candles?“ You looked at Jaehyun, that walked back to you with two champagne glasses. 

“Ugh, let me see.“ he not so carefully plopped glasses over the rock counter, making your heart jump a little at the sound the glass made, watching him close the distance between your bodies. He purposefully flushed his whole body against you, wrapping arms around your shoulders. “Huh, let me see.“he repeated himself in a funny manner. Jaehyun grabbed your fingers, guiding your hand with one candle to a spot in the centre. He pressed the candle into the cake and pressed his teeth into your neck at the same time. The only reason you didn’t jump away was his other hand, that snaked over your waist and gripped the counter. You exclaimed more surprised than in pain, it wasn’t a nasty painful bite, he just bit down lightly and swiped his tongue afterwards. You processed what he did for a second, chuckling right after.

“What is it?“ You craned your neck to see his face.

“What is it?“ He repeated, trying to give you an innocent look. 

“Why are you being weird?“ You squinted your eyes, maybe he was just a little tipsy?

“I just wanted to bite you.“ He shrugged and stole all left candles from your hand to put them into the cake, trying to give you the purest look. 

“Ah-.“ you squeezed your eyes even harder. “It’s not only the bite, you’re a little suspicious this whole week.“ 

“Suspicious in what way?“ Jaehyun gave you a look and busied himself with candles. 

“Like something good happened and I don’t know about it yet way.“ You really tried to turn around and see him, but his pelvis pressed you against the counter even harder. You had to continue craning your neck to see him. 

“No, I don’t think anything like that happened.“ He made that face again and your heart was about to explode.

“Ah, just stop.“ you shook your head and looked away. It’s safer to look at the wall in front of you. 

“Stop what?“ His nose nudged against your neck. 

“Doing this face, I’m serious. I feel like I’m going to explode.“ you tried to dodge his touch, knowing clearly it’s not possible - you were practically squished against him. 

“Just look that way, at the cake or at the clock. Let me get my phone out for the accurate countdown.“ Jaehyun suddenly busied himself, looking all over his pockets for his phone.

“I don’t care, if it’s not that accurate.“ You shrugged. It only mattered that he was right here with you.

“No, it’s important.“ He protested and seemed to finally find his phone.

“Well, okay.“ You chuckled, Jaehyun popping his phone in front of you two. He forced you to look straight onto the phone, the timing felt like he counted everything down to seconds, with the way the number of minutes turned to 59 and he not so coincidentally found a lighter in his pocket and lit up the candles. He was making you feel nervous with the way he took everything so seriously and you tapped your fingers over the counter, watching Jaehyun’s hand over the cake. He left the lighter next to the glass and propped his palms above yours, lacing them through. 

“Make a wish, gorgeous.“ He whispered into your ear, as the clock was on its final countdown and as you squeezed your eyes, still trying to peek on the watch, coming up with a wish, Jaehyun wrapped you with his body more, leaning in so your heads are on the same level. “3-2-1.“ He counted into your ear and before one even left his mouth properly, you two reached to the cake and blew out candles in unison, Jaehyun’s mouth trying to cover yours even before the candles were blown out. 

“Wait, the candle.“ a particularly stubborn one didn’t want to  be blown out, and even though Jaehyun very forcefully turned you around and licked his mouth into yours, you weren’t about to risk setting your whole place on fire. “Jaehyun.“ You gasped and he really tried to get his tongue in your mouth, before you nudged on his shoulder and he pulled back and blew out the candle with a lot of force, turning back to you in an instance. His palm wrapped your jaw, turning your head slightly for his mouth and that pleasures ecstasy spilled over your body. Jaehyun hovered more over you, his tongue taking charge of everything that was happening. You laced your fingers over his shoulder from under his arms and tried to push his body backwards, so he’d get the hint and get you two to the couch. Jaehyun did not give in to your wishes, pressing his chest more against yours instead. You could feel his arms move around, looking for your fingers and to unwrap himself from you, as he did so, he also lowered his lips, making one messy wet trail from your mouth down your chin and neck. Your arms wrapped his head as Jaehyun sucked onto your neck and you were ready to moan his name. He forced your arms off his body once again, allowing himself to go even lower, until his knees hit the floor and you shivered, just at the thought of him lifting your dress up and peppering kisses over your thighs. Your eyes closed in anticipation of the feeling, Jaehyun ran his hand on the back of your thigh and you almost lost balance.

“Baby?“ He called out for you and you opened your eyes with a grin to see him, only to actually lose balance and swap grin to shocked shaking. Jaehyun tightened his grip over your thigh, when he felt you fall back, your arms gripping onto the kitchen aisle behind you for dear life.

“Wha-what are you doing?“ you asked with a very distinctive tremble in your voice. It was pretty clear, the action, what he was doing was obvious, you still had to check with him though.

“Asking you to be my wife?“ Jaehyun reached out more the hand that had a jewellery box in it with the ring inside. Your mouth opened at the size of the rock on it, your mouth opened at the fact Jaehyun was down on one knee on your fake New Years countdown. You were shaking now for good, tears trying to block your view. “Baby, will you marry me?“ He asked properly, blocking any sounds from your throat. You were one step away from chocking on your tears. 

“Oh my god.“ You still gripped onto the kitchen counter with one hand, the other hand trying hard to hide your shock behind it. There wasn’t a minute in your day, when you thought huh, I expect Jaehyun to propose to me this month. He hasn’t even asked you what you think of it since you got back together, he never mentioned a wedding, neither did you and it made you cry so much harder. He stuck to what you two always discussed, not being a big awkward proposal, just you and him, soaking in the privacy of each other and taking a next step with no big announcements, you and him, like it always was and always will be. 

“You’re insane.“ You gasped once again.

“So you don’t want to marry me?“ Jaehyun asked smiling, underlining the don’t with the tone of his voice. “Because I’m a little crazy? Over you, may I add.“

“I do. No, I will marry you, happily.“ You chirped, finally, colliding with Jaehyun, as he tried to get up, and you tried to get down on his level, resulting in your arms wrapped over his neck, him lifting both of you up to stand up. “My brains are all scrambled after the filthiest make out session we could ever have. I thought you wanted to eat me out, not propose-“ You gave him the tightest hug, your heart beating in your ears, as you were processing, finally, what just happened. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t meet your expectations.“ He chuckled, sliding his arm up and down your back. “Since you said yes, will you let me get the ring on your finger? And let me kiss my fiancé? I can move those kisses south, if that’s what you actually wanted.“ you unwrapped your body from his, reaching your arm out, to get it in Jaehyun’s hold, the very next moment feeling the coldness of the ring over your ring finger and finally taking a look at the ring. Jaehyun held your face, giving you the most pristine kiss he could, like he didn’t try to eat your face off a moment ago. “I love you.“ He kissed the corner of your mouth.

“I was so lonely and heartbroken around this time last year, if you would’ve not let me have another chance in this, I would’ve never been happy. Ever. I just know I wouldn’t be able to have a life without you.“

“Oh, Jaehyun.“ You whispered caressing his cheek with the back of your palm. “When we were apart, I was never happy without you. Never. Not a single day.“

“If you ever decide again that we shouldn’t be together-“ you cut him off.

“I already did all the worst things for your career - gave you a baby, made you marry me and moved you in with me. There’s not a thing I could protect you from anymore.“

-

You were sitting between Jaehyun’s thighs on the couch, your eyes focused on the ring he gave you, his - on the bare shoulder that the dress revealed to him, and he was trying to fit about a hundred kisses on it, while also having a very mild, very lazy but oh so pleasures wedding conversation with you.

“When I thought of you and proposal, I thought you’d be a sickeningly romantic type of guy, not I’ll get my girlfriend moaning and then propose type of guy?“ You teased in a whisper. 

“I just wanted to give you a new year’s kiss and then I realised I’m losing my mind and if I don’t pause immediately I’m going to lose the moment completely. I really didn’t want to ask you to marry me with my head between your legs.“ his tongue traveled from behind your ear to your jaw.

“Good choices only from my perfect future husband.“ You cooed and rested your head against his chest.

“Mmh.“ Jaehyun sighed into your shoulder blade, you could only imagine how tired he was, from all the dancing and singing, you wouldn’t mind him falling asleep like that and making you his blanket. “So… should I ask you?“

“What is it?“ You whispered back at him, stroking his forearms with adoration. 

“Now, you are happy, right?“ He shifted under you and you knew the very reason he used this exact wording. “I must be right.“ He added in, as you tried to crook your neck enough to see him.

“I am, I’m the happiest when I’m with you.“

“That’s really all that matters to me in this life.“ Jaehyun moved his mouth closer to your ear and pecked it right after. 

“Shh, it’s not and it shouldn’t be.“ 

“I could agree, but I would blatantly lie to my future wife’s face and I wouldn’t want to do that.“ His lips landed behind your ear once again.  

“Taeyong said you’ve been acting funny lately, I can very clearly see what he meant by that.“ You tried to move your head a little away from him. 

“Yeah, and what he meant by that?“ Jaehyun teased, continuing to kiss your nape.

“Like you’re plotting something and not telling anything about it…“ you walked around it carefully. 

“Well, I did, plot something.“ Jaehyun brushed his fingers over the rock on your ring. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not what he meant. He knows you very well, and I kinda know you too.“

“Yeah, kinda.“ His throaty chuckle tickled your ear. 

“Will you tell me?“ Jaehyun sighed.

“I was thinking,“ you gave him a nod, because he paused and made you nervous. “I’ve asked company, if I could publicly announce that I’m dati-.“ You twitched in his arms as soon as your brain worked out the ending to that sentence. 

“No,no,no. Don’t even finish that sentence. If you’ll say it out loud I’ll actually believe you’re considering this nonsense.“ Your voice even trembled, you were mortified at the prospect. 

“I asked company if I could announce that I’m dating a non-celebrity.“ Jaehyun repeated himself anyway. 

“Tell me you decided to celebrate all holidays in one day and we’re on April Fool’s now?“

“I know it’s shocking, but I don’t want you to feel like you don’t matter. You’re, in fact, all that matters to me.“ Jaehyun straightened his back under you, making you as well sit more properly. 

“Jaehyun, please. Why would I even feel that? I don’t feel like I don’t matter, I only say that I don’t stand a chance against your career. It’s different!“ You raised your voice a little at the end of your sentence. 

“I just feel like now, that we have Sohee, I need to do more to reassure you.“ Jaehyun still talked back to you with composure. 

“You’re making me dizzy.“ You tried to pull away from him, so you’d see his face and give him space and fresh air to reconsider his words. He probably was either horny or enchanted by the little human you made, he never has a chance to think straight when he’s at home. Anyone would get a little out of their mind with everything that’s going on. “I begged you to not be stupid, you swore you won’t be. It’s the only thing I ask of you, always. I don’t need reckless bravery from you, she doesn’t need it either. Crushing everything you worked for just like that is insane, Jaehyun. I wouldn’t want that for you. People are insane, they won’t understand.“ Jaehyun gripped onto you like you were his anchor, not letting you move.

“It’s not that. It’s just that-, It’s the rumours in media, that I’m dating this girl, just because we crossed eyes at some show and it’s getting big and company says I should just not read it, if I don’t feel comfortable about it. It’s giving me publicity and them money, they won’t deny and it’s making me insane. I don’t even know her.“ His arms let go of you, finally, when he sighed exasperated. You could tell by the sound of his voice this stupid thing was eating him alive. You couldn’t care less for things like that. Not when he was like a lovesick puppy whenever you looked at him, you wouldn’t even think of being jealous, if he even worried about that. 

“I don’t care, who the fuck would care for something like that? I don’t read celebrity gossip.“ You turned around in his lap, finally seeing his hurt state, your fingers grabbing onto his cheek to hold his face straight forward. 

“I know you don’t, but I don’t want Sohee 10 years later to open up a page about her dad being a fucking womaniser and thinking how he didn’t even have the balls to tell the world she existed.“ He looked you in the eyes and then again lowered them onto his lap, despite you holding on to his face. 

“You paired with a new girl every month, or week, or hour, is not making you a womaniser, baby, if you’ve been dating just me, it’s nothing but words. Our daughter would never think like that of you. And she would never ask you to recognise her publicly, neither would I. If that’s what we have to live with, then we’ll have the happiest life like that.“ Your fingers caressed Jaehyun’s cheek. “You’re overthinking too much, you’re making me sick worried for you. We need to talk, if you’re still not able to adjust to this all, it’s normal. There is so much on your plate, while I get to stay at home and just take care of her.“ You leaned in, leaving a barely there touch of your lips on the corner of his. 

Emotional spectrum of the night was making your head hurt, so much in just one night even for your brain. Somehow from horny to happy and excited you were falling into depressive and dark, Jaehyun really needed a break. 

“It’s not just taking care. You’re living through exactly the reason you didn’t want to take next steps with me. I’m just so scared you’ll slip through my fingers and this time I won’t be able to safe us. I love you so much, I can’t lose you ever again.“ Jaehyun covered your fingers on his cheek.

“Jaehyun, love, you worry too much. We already have our baby, you asked me to marry you almost a moment ago. If I wasn’t ready to do that with you, I would’ve left your room on Doyoung’s birthday and never called you back. We’re here today, in this apartment that’s our home now, because that’s what both of us wanted, with all those but’s and no’s.“ You whispered against his mouth, Jaehyun’s arms moving to wrap your sides. 

“I love you.“

"I do too, and I promise you, none of my concerns have to do anything with being a secret girlfriend." you gave Jaehyun a smile. You snuggled against his chest, closing your eyes, to enjoy properly cuddling against your fiance. 

"You have concerns and don't tell me?" Jaehyun's hand on your cheek made your head crane to see him better. "Again?"

"Yes, and won't tell you because you worry too much about me." You gave him a nod and hid in his chest once again. 

"For a reason. We already went once the wrong way because of that." he patted your bum. 

"Maybe, we did, but still, I won't tell you. It won’t ever go the same path again." You reassured him once again. You would never try to leave him ever again, the hurt and the struggle, it just wasn’t something you knew how to live with. You were so glued to each other, you really didn’t know how to be separate once again anymore. 

"Now you just have to let me know, I fear." Jaehyun suddenly chuckled, and you raised your head - he smiled and you felt relieved, just a little.

"Yeah, right after I told you I won't, you’re one funny man." You smirked back and bit onto your lip, anticipating an answer.

"I have a feeling you won't laugh too much if I set my mind on getting it out of you." You saw the tongue in his mouth make a circle. 

“I would like to see that, I’m so curious you wouldn’t believe.“ His tongue ran over his teeth, with a little roll of his eyes. You really hoped the tongue movement meant he would get the answer out of you with it.

“I’m not really sure, though, you’ll be able to keep your eyes open to see. Saying this from experience, usually your eyes are closed pretty tightly, your mouth making these loud ass gasps and pretty moans.“ Oh- OH, he did mean what you wanted him to mean with that. 

“Well, feels like we should just go to bed quickly, so we could check your theory and go to sleep right after, to gracefully announce our engagement to our families in the morning?" You teased, Jaehyun groping on the skin of your butt, while you drew little circles over his chest with your pointing finger.

"Everyone knows." Jaehyun chuckled, and you straightened your back. 

"Is that why my mom said-" is this why this weird sentence even happened, that she wants to see you in a wedding dress this year? 

"And moreover everyone’s invited to early lunch at our place tomorrow. Or I better say, today?“ Jaehyun gave you a very innocent look. 

"What?! You invited a bunch of people and only said it now?“ You were ready to jump off his lap to go make the house presentable, if only Jaehyun’s fingers didn’t grip onto your wrists and held you down “We don’t have any food, the house is a mess-." you got interrupted. 

"Gorgeous, I have it all figured out. Just be your pretty self, wave and smile and make sure everyone sees your four carat diamond ring?" Jaehyun sounded and looked at you like he was a filthy rich old man and you couldn’t get enough of him, when he was bragging about his wealth like that. He was in fact filthy rich, but also young, hot, smart, funny, undeniably sexy and all yours. 

"Agh-, I feel like I’m in a fever dream whenever you act like that. At least tell me who’s invited." You involuntarily rubbed against his crotch. 

"Just our families." Jaehyun caressed your neck with his thumb. "Actually, I invited Taeyong, but he’s convinced you’d hate to see him at our improvised engagement party."

"Why would he even think that?" You chuckled and stopped your hips from moving. Rubbing against Jaehyun, while talking about your best friend kind of made you ill. 

"I have no clue, we agreed he’ll show up, if you’ll confirm your wish to see him."

"That’s funny of him." You chuckled and thought of getting up to your phone, if only your undying wish to be forever glued to Jaehyun disappeared. 

"Should I take you to bed?" Jaehyun ran his pointing finger over your chin and cheek.

"Mmh, I’ll gladly get on top of you in there too." You replied in a whisper and licked through his lower lip. 

"I won’t spare a second then." Jaehyun grabbed onto your ass cheeks the very next moment, making every cell in your body fight the scream that almost exceeded you, wrapping his hands over your waist as he stood up to hold on to you tightly. You wouldn’t fall even if he let go, your arms and legs properly wrapping him. Jaehyun crossed the living room in what felt like five wide steps even though you were sure your apartment was much bigger last time you checked. Your body fell into the softness of the mattress on your bed and Jaehyun let go of you just for a moment, to get rid of the belt on his dress pants and pull himself out of the shirt that you were pretty sure he had to return maybe by tomorrow. He then pressed you down with his bare chest more into the mattress, the promise of you on top already forgotten by both of you. Your fingers found their spot over Jaehyun’s jaw and cheeks, wrapping around them and forcing his face in front of yours. 

You just wanted to take a good look at the man that made you this happy, at the man that loved you despite your sometimes idiotic ways of handling situations, despite you trying to run away, hurt him, make him hate you. Jaehyun gave you a heartwarming smile, leaning in and rubbing his nose against yours in a warm motion of I love you. You smiled back at him, running your thumb over his lower lip.

"I love you so much, my future husband." Jaehyun smiled wider, his mouth covering yours in a lick, that changed into a proper kiss, his mouth sucking in your lower lip, until your mouth opened in a moan to let his tongue in and right after you got in a clashing of tongues because neither of you ever wishes to give up the leadership of the other. And almost every time this happened, Jaehyun would buckle his hips against you as a distraction and also as a warning - I will tease you until you regret it. 

He did just that now too, and you tried to fight back, letting go of his mouth to leave sloppy kisses down his chin and neck, Jaehyun knowing exactly your thoughts and crawling a hand under the hem of the skirt on your dress. He easily moved it up your waist and his fingers freely kneaded the bare skin of your ass, especially harshly, when your mouth sucked in the skin of his collarbone giving you a warning. Hickeys were no go zone for you at all costs, you weren’t about to give him one - you teased and got exactly what you were asking for - Jaehyun peeling your mouth off his skin and getting his own mouth on yours - overpowering you in a battle and taking the lead. 

When it came to Jaehyun, you were horny to a tremble with a snap of his fingers, if he also had time to tease - you’d be not only trembling, but also covered in pleasures goosebumps. You didn’t need much foreplay, you didn’t have the privilege of having time for much prelude either. When you think of it, it was almost always that way. First you had to be careful, quiet and quick to not get busted at his dorm, the only safe space being your apartment, you had to be all that between his schedules and your working hours, and you had to be even more than that when you became parents and kissing and teasing to your hearts desires resulted in having no actual sex, when Sohee would wake up with absolutely no warning. 

As if, babies could be giving warnings, when they planned to cry. 

Now, too, you couldn’t know for sure - if she would still be peacefully sleeping, or wake up suddenly. Jaehyun bent your leg and let go of your mouth, lowering his face next to your thighs. He worked his mouth over the soft skin there, making you shiver the closer he got his wet lips to your very much burning heat. You whispered his name, really wishing to warn him, how you don’t have time and failing miserably because of his mouth on your left thigh and before you could process the action, he pecked you through the underwear, hooking his fingers to pull your panties to the side and swipe his tongue over your centre and then slightly pull away and just breathe. Your eyes focused on him, because you could sense he was waiting for any reaction from you. You breathed heavily, Jaehyun leaning in once again, to swipe his tongue in the other direction. Your palm trying to stop him, like you really tried to catch him by his forehead and push him away, but somehow missed and grabbed onto his hair and your hand forced his mouth more against you. 

"We really can’t risk our time-" your hips jerked up with Jaehyun’s tongue swirling over you in multiple motions. "Sohee can wake up around this time-. Ah-" you breathed heavily, as Jaehyun worked his tongue over you properly now. "Baby, I’m serious." You finally pushed his head off you, you really wanted him inside of you, you knew for sure he did too, he’s going to have a very busy season soon, travel a lot, you just wanted any and every chance of burying himself inside of you to be used.

"Yes?" Jaehyun asked you lazily, like he couldn’t understand your worries, his eyes glued to the mess he made out of you. 

"Can you fuck me already?" you raised a brow at him teasingly, Jaehyun smirking back at you.

"Whatever makes my future wife happy." You smiled and watched Jaehyun dispose your underwear. You had a feeling this will be his new favourite phrase. "Come here, let me get you naked." He whispered in a soft tone, his fingers reaching out for your hands so you’d sit up and he’d be able to get the dress off you as well. He did it quickly, letting the dress fall onto the floor. Jaehyun ran his eyes over your chest, focusing on your breasts with concern. "I think it’s healing." His fingers ran the ghost of your nipples. 

"You’re just trying to make me feel better. I think she continues to latch on wrongly at times, it just hurts less."

"Gorgeous, I’m so sorry." Jaehyun leaned in, placing careful kisses around the areola of each of your breast. "It’ll be my pleasure to have you as my pillow princess." Jaehyun pushed your shoulders softly back down, his eyes still very much glued to the evidence of one of your every day struggles. 

"Stop staring, breastfeeding makes my chest ugly." 

"I hope you know how badly I wanna fight you about that, you’re lucky I can’t lose my time." Jaehyun pointed out, his fingers undoing his dress pants, that had the same faith to be dropped to the pile of clothes on the floor. 

"There are a lot of things you’d gladly fight with me about." You watched Jaehyun crawl over you and setting your legs wider apart. "Are you sure you want to get married?" You teased, running both your hands from his collarbones down to his thighs. 

"It’s my pleasure fighting with you over how perfect you are. My little miss perfect." Jaehyun cooed over you, lining himself up with you. "My almost mrs little miss perfect." He snorted a remark, diving in deep inside of you, taking all your breath away, because you thought he at least would say something as a warning. He made multiple moves, finding a pace that would not make the both of you bust too quickly. Jaehyun rolled his hips against you, burying himself deep, his thighs making that filthy sound of skin slapping against skin. Your fingers found his neck, pulling Jaehyun in, forcing him to open his mouth so you could play with his tongue. He let you, gasping as your mouth sucked on it. You shifted your legs, grasping on his waist and moving yourself towards Jaehyun as he moved towards you. Jaehyun grunted at the change of the angle, his little grunts filling the room as they accompanied every push of his hips. 

His hands were all over the place, you could clearly tell his wish of teasing your chest, how he couldn’t find the right place to put them as they always ended up halfway to your boobs. You slid your fingers onto his pelvis, stopping his action mid way, you had a good idea how to eliminate the temptation.

"What you want to do?" He smirked, pulling out of you obediently. You ignored his question, raising on your knees to slide your lips against Jaehyun’s. 

"Let me turn around." You watched your fiancé pull a little away, watching you gather duvet under your pelvis and lying on your stomach with your butt sticking out.

"I give you a ring and you chose to turn away as I fuck you, very ungrateful of you." Jaehyun teased and slipped back in, his playfulness changing in two quick motions back to grunting. You grabbed onto his fingers, that were keeping him above you, next to your head, trying to lace them through with yours but also not make him lose balance. "Do you like that? I bet you love it like that." Jaehyun lowered himself on his elbows, getting closer to your head.

You shifted, sticking your ass more up and letting Jaehyun hit the new spot and forcing a very pleasures moan out of you, him at first making the tiniest moan escape his mouth, stopping himself right after he heard you though, you were pretty sure to hear you better.

"Don’t stop making those little noises, it’s so fucking hot to hear your little cries for me, baby." You pressed your face into the duvet, it felt so good and Jaehyun moved around more, moving his palms onto your sides, forcing your back bend more for him and hitting it even deeper than before.

"Fuck-" you panted, your face against the fabric didn’t help you to get enough air in your lungs. Jaehyun also moved his arms around, pressing into your shoulder with his palm. Lack of oxygen definitely did something to your brain, you moaned into the pillow louder, your hips trying to catch Jaehyun mid action.

"I’m not lasting much longer." Jaehyun lowered his lips on your back, leaving kisses all over it. Your arm reached out for him, trying to hook over his neck to wrestle him onto the mattress. Like the man of your dreams that he was, Jaehyun was always able to read your thoughts. He moved from under your arm and plopped with his back onto the mattress. Your thighs straddled his before he could reach his hands out to you, and you lined him up with yourself, lowering with Jaehyun’s help onto him. 

"Agh-" you cried out, lifting your thighs back up and sitting back down. Jaehyun held onto your waist, helping you with every move. You opened your eyes - you wanted to see how Jaehyun was feeling. You were caught up with his stare - Jaehyun looked at you with so much adoration and admiration, his lips adorned with the tinies smile that still made his dimples visible accompanied with little grunts that escaped him eventually. You moved your palm from his chest onto his face, trying to block his view. "Stop staring." You cooed, feeling Jaehyun’s lips kissing your palm that covered them. 

"No, I want to see how long you’ll last with your riding." He smirked and let go of your waist, making it obviously harder for you to make those very rhythmical and deep motions. “Also just trying to see your eyes wide open." You moved your arm away, Jaehyun sitting up more and resting his back against the headboard, pulling you up with him like you were a paper doll. He let go of you once again, allowing you to continue what you were doing. Your hips were beginning to burn a little. Jaehyun’s mouth catching your shoulders and collarbone shifted your brain from the burning pain in your legs, not for long, though.

"I’m giving you pleasure and that’s your payback? Very ungrateful of you too. Seems like we make a perfect pair." You cried, by now he should clearly see your struggle, have mercy and take the lead from you. "What if you regret your proposal because we don’t have fun sex life?" Jaehyun tried to kiss your mouth, grabbing your neck with his hand, you moved away to see his satisfied smirk better.

"I think constant fear of being busted scrambled your brains. Now it’s not there and you think we lack excitement." Jaehyun sucked on your lower lip, you needed to push him away to return to him with a reply.

"No, I’m just constantly thinking what if Sohee wakes up now, and I haven’t heard my husband sexy moan as he cums."

"Maybe you should ask him to do things properly for you?“

"I’m afraid it’ll get to his head. He’s getting a little full of himself, when I tell him he’s the best at everything. I fear a little it’ll blow he’s head off if I also tell him he’s the greatest in fucking-." Jaehyun’s arms closed around your waist, making you sink into him with more force, your eyes rolling into your head with how good it felt. "Fuck, but he really is the greatest in this too-." You moaned and found Jaehyun’s mouth blindly, as his arms were pulling you up and down on him. 

"Oh, wait." Jaehyun very suddenly stopped holding on to you, turning his head to the watch on the bedside table "What time is it?" He asked you and looked away again. "Let me see the watch." He actually had the audacity to reach for his phone and light up the screen. 2:58, you looked together with him. Why the fuck would that information matter to him now- " Da-amn, it’s almost three, looks like it’s almost New Years somewhere else. I guess I just have to fuck you into the New Year." he dropped the phone and turned you around, so you’d be finally under him. 

"Agh, I really hate your brain-" you got interrupted with your own moan and Jaehyun’s mouth, as he slapped his hips agains’t yours in a pace that would finish you two off quickly.

-

“Sometimes I lie down and think how we almost didn’t have all of this…because of me. I’m so sorry. I was selfish and stupid.“ your fingers randomly ran over Jaehyun’s upper arm while he held you close to his heart. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, love. You have a heart so big you were ready to sacrifice your happiness for my career. It’s my pleasure being loved by someone like you.“ Jaehyun’s lips touched the top of your head.

“And the pleasure is all yours.“ You chuckled and swiftly wrapped your leg around Jaehyun’s torso, making your body straddle his hips one again. Jaehyun’s very warm palm touched your lower stomach, sliding it up to your solar plexus and between your breasts, until it reached your neck and he wrapped his fingers around it, pulling your face towards him.

“Want me to make you another baby?“ Jaehyun kissed your mouth, you could tell he was joking, if he wanted one more baby he would’ve asked you before you slid your naked body against his. “Us, a baby. I didn’t get to be with you through it all, I would pay all the money in the world if I could just turn back time and be with you two through all days and nights.“ 

“Shh, what if Sohee hears us?“ You blabbered the very first thing that came to your head to not get emotional once again.

“Well, I’m sure she can’t understand a thing, would be glad to have a sibling and already heard my attempts at trying to give her one hundredths of times, probably.“ Jaehyun clicked his tongue and rubbed your cheek.

“Stop, before I think you’re serious.“ You giggled, wrapping both your arms over his head. “You wouldn’t want two under two in one house with your schedule.“

“I would love to have whatever number of babies you would want to have with me, doesn’t matter if it’s two under two, or ten under five.“

“Ten?“ You almost laughed out loud.

“Well, if we have twins or triplets it is possible, in theory." He really considered that, huh?  "Not like I want you to do that.“

“Well, it’s nice to hear it’s just a theory.“ You couldn’t hold back a giggle and kiss his mouth. You didn’t want him to know you’d birth as many babies as he wanted, because seeing him happy was the only thing you cared for.

“We, anyway, still have to wait for baby number two for at least another 6 months or your doctor will scold me.“ He stated matter-of-factly. How would he own that information, when you didn’t? 

“Huh?“ You pulled back to hear him continue. 

“No, it’s nothing.“ Jaehyun definitely realised he wasn’t meant to say that.

“What do you mean it’s nothing, why would you say that in the first place? Did you call her? Did you call my doctor?“ You squeezed your eyes and tried to choke him with your arms still wrapped over his head and your body hovering over his. 

“I didn’t.“

“Jaehyun-“ you practiced your scolding voice at him.

“No, I swear I didn’t I’m not THAT nosy.“ Jaehyun rolled his eyes dramatically. 

“Oka-“ you almost believed his eye roll.

“I asked her in person when I was taking you two home.“ You almost chocked on air.

“And what exactly did you ask?“ 

“How long we have to wait before it’s okay for you to do that“ he moved his body under yours in a thrust “again and possibly get pregnant.“

“You’re- insufferable.“ You chocked half way. It suddenly hit you that he did, in fact, want another baby ASAP. 

“She was sweet about it.“

“I bet she was, you paid too much money for that hospital.“ You snorted.

“It’s not about money, it’s about you two having the best things I could possibly provide.“ You gave a peck to the corner of his lips, Jaehyun’s hand squeezing your bare thigh under the duvet. 

“So what did she tell you?“

“Nothing much.“ He once again tried to play pretend.

“You’re a terrible liar Jeong Jaehyun, just say it.“

“That our baby is a big girl and I need to keep it chill for at least two months and that your body would probably heal in about 12 or 18 months depending on how fast everything goes back to normal.“

“You refused to have sex with me because of that?“ You were actually scandalised now.

“Did I? When did I?“ He scratched his head with humour, you wanted to smack him, because the first month of celibacy was obvious - your body needed it, your mind needed it, you were readjusting to new life while also healing. Second month was purely on Jaehyun and you couldn’t understand why exactly after Sohee’s 2 months celebration he dragged you to the bedroom like a caveman, when you were always there for him to take.

“You know that vaginas do not heal by magic two months sharp after pushing a baby out?“ You had to say it in the same matter-of-factly tone.

“But yours did?“ He smiled innocently. 

“Way before that and I’ve told you times, baby boy.“ You teased. 

“Mmm, baby boy? That’s new, I almost forgot you were an old lady.“

“I hope you know I hated this so bad.“ You sighed, plopping yourself on his chest.

“I know, gorgeous, I know.“ Jaehyun kissed the top of your head once again and like a magical spell you drifted to sleep.

______

I bet no one expected these two to return, especially as a family of three, it's been a few years and I've decided an open ending doesn't mean we can't imagine what could've happened to this couple. hope you enjoyed!

and I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!

and will have a very blessed New Year :)

[ace-of-zaun]

Kiss Me More. Pt 3:

silco x f!reader - 2.8k words - SFW

cw: angst, Silco being the most clueless mf to ever live (but he’s also a sweetheart, so we’ll forgive him just this once), fluff, Vander being lovely, mentions of poverty, arguments, references to sex, Seven is the actual worst, kind of an angsty end to the chapter (thought i'd mention it just in case)

PART 1 | PART 2

-

Silco has mentioned Seven and your date with him that many times in the past week, you’re genuinely starting to worry he’s got an unhealthy obsession with the boy. 

In fact, he’s brought it up so often, you can tell just by the way Silco takes a breath that he's going to start yet another rant about your situationship, prompting you to scuttle away from him the second he opens his mouth to speak. 

It doesn’t put you off going on your date. If anything, it makes you even more determined to push back against Silco and prove to him that you can do this, with or without his support.

So, you go on your second date with Seven. 

He’d somehow managed to visit you every single day at work following your first date, which caused a giddy, cherished sort of feeling the first two times it happened, but now kind of irritates you after eight consecutive days of it. 

Now, it just feels clingy and suffocating, and you’re getting slightly worried your boss is going to get mad at you for wasting time at work. 

Luckily, Seven hadn’t asked you to go swimming on your date, (or, skinny dipping, as Silco had told you was his actual meaning, approximately six thousand times). Instead, he’d walked you to one of the little piers overlooking the river, where you’d sat side by side and shared a simple picnic. 

It was nice. Mostly. 

Seven had pretty much just talked about himself the entire time (again), and had even interrupted you the one time you tried to tell him about the new vinyl you’d excitedly bought on sale at the market. (So what if you can’t play it or listen to it just yet, Seven, you’ll be able to afford a phonograph one day, and you can just admire the sleeve artwork until then!)

Towards the end of the date, he’d finally kissed you, softer than you were expecting after the bold way he’d previously tried to kiss you outside your apartment.

But there hadn’t been any butterflies, or that wonderful, little spark you’ve often heard people describing when they speak of their first kisses. (Kinda, sorta like the way you felt when you’d kissed Silco…)

Kissing Seven, you hadn’t really felt anything at all, except, slightly icky and a little bit disappointed.

So now, you arrive home from the pier on your own (Seven had apparently been too busy to walk you back this time) with a strange sort of empty feeling emanating from your chest. Like someone has stolen a couple of your ribs while you weren’t looking. 

But a warm sense of relief and delight quickly replaces that feeling when you spot Vander sprawled out on the sofa, arms spread out across the back, head tilted up to the ceiling. 

It’s rare to see him at home, what with his long hours down the mine and evenings tending the bar. And it shows. Tired eyes and limbs betraying just how shattered he must be after all those hours of work. 

You’re desperate to tell him to give up the extra shifts at the bar. But you’re genuinely not sure if the three of you would be able to stay together without it. Maybe you should ask if you could pick up some of his shifts instead, give him a few nights off. Janna knows he deserves it.

Vander looks up when you gently click the front door closed, sitting up properly while you toe off your shoes to join the line along the wall. 

“Hey, you’re home,” you say. 

“I am,” he replies, easy smile to mask his exhaustion. “How was your date?”

Part of you had hoped he’d forgotten so you wouldn’t have to talk about it. But Vander’s far too thoughtful for that. 

“Ah, you know…” you say, looking down at your feet bashfully. 

“That bad?”

“I wouldn't say bad.” You sigh, dropping down next to him on the sofa.

You rest your head against his shoulder, tucking your feet under your legs in an attempt to get comfortable. Vander places his arm around your shoulder and gently pulls you towards him, until you’re leaning against his side.

You’ve always secretly thought of him as your wise, older brother. The one who always knows what to say and how to say it. The person you can always rely on.

"But not good?" he asks, genuinely. 

This time, the sigh you give feels like it radiates from your whole body. 

“It’s just…I didn’t expect any of it to feel like this, I thought I was supposed to feel…”

You don’t really know, to be honest. You’ve only ever heard people describe their experiences with love or dating, so you’re not completely sure what you’re supposed to feel. 

But something deep down is telling you, ‘not like this’.

“Feel what, lass?” Vander prods gently. 

“I don’t know,” you finally admit. 

Van nods in understanding, gently tapping your bicep twice before rubbing up and down your arm soothingly. 

“Maybe you just need a bit more time to get to know him,” he says, offering you the advice you’d been too nervous to ask for. “D’ya think you’ll see him again?”

You tilt your head to the side, worrying your lip with your pointer finger and thumb. 

“He asked me to go on another date with him tomorrow,” you say, pushing down the fact it feels like a shameful confession. “I said yes but-”

And then Silco storms into the room, looking like he’s spitting nails. 

“You're not seriously going on another date with that greasy-haired freak?" he demands, apropos of absolutely nothing. 

Immediately, you push yourself from Vander’s embrace to sit up and glare at him. Trust Silco to ruin the nice moment you were having. 

“Seriously, what have you got against him?”

Silco ignores you, clearly on a rampage that could only be fuelled by pure insanity. 

“You can't go on another date with him,” he announces firmly. 

"What? Why?" 

You wait, with a truly impressive amount of patience if you do say so yourself, for Silco to explain himself. To present his infallible, incredibly coherent, astonishingly well-thought out argument as to why you can’t go on another date with the person you are currently dating. 

"Because he's gross,” he says. 

You could really, honestly smack him. 

"No, he's not." 

"I don't think you should see him anymore," he continues. 

“Silco. I’m not a child, you can’t just tell me what to do,” you say, feeling the anger beginning to bubble away inside you. Silco knows exactly how to push your buttons and he knows it. 

“Yes, I can,” he argues, arms crossed against his chest. 

You narrow your eyes dangerously. 

“No, you can’t.” 

“Alright, that’s enough, you two,” Vander interrupts before one of you tackles the other and turns the argument into a childish scrap in the middle of the room.

Sil huffs dramatically and uncrosses his arms. Then, clearly not knowing what to do with them as they hang awkwardly by his side, he decides to cross them again. 

“Fine. I wasn't going to say anything, but I spoke to a guy at the mines who knows him and he's… got a bit of a reputation."

"What do you mean, ‘reputation’?"

"I mean, he's dated just about every girl in the Undercity," Silco stresses.

You frown at this new information, but honestly, deep down, you don’t really care. Even the mental image of Seven kissing other people doesn’t spark that jealousy in you that it did when you’d pictured Silco experiencing his first kiss. 

But admitting that to him feels like defeat so instead you say, "Well, maybe he just hasn't found the one yet." 

Silco scoffs obnoxiously.

"What, and you think you're the one?" he says sarcastically. His tone is a little bit on the mean side. Like he’s implying that you’re not good enough for Seven.

And honestly, it stings. It hurts and it makes you angry. You thought after all these years that Silco cared about you, that he wanted the best for you. 

But all he’s done for the past few weeks is question you constantly when all you needed was just a little support from your best friend.

And, gods, you know that you don’t really mean any of it, but there’s a burning, horrible impulse to hurt Silco like he’s been hurting you, so you stand up to face him square on.

"And what if I am, huh?” you begin.

Of course, Silco immediately goes to interrupt, but you steamroll ahead. 

“You know what, Silco, maybe I’ll just go and stay with him if you’re that wound up about it. Actually, yeah.” You purse your lips and shrug your shoulders nonchalantly, before looking him dead in the eye. “No need to wait up for me after my date tomorrow, I’ll just stay at his for the night.”

Silco looks absolutely horrified, face draining at the implication (that you don’t mean at all, honestly, you can’t think of anything worse than spending the night with Seven). 

But Silco doesn’t have to know that.

He steps forward a little and says your name, really quite desperately.

“Wait-”

There’s no way you’re letting him get the last word, so you stalk out the living room and into your bedroom without a backward glance, slamming the door shut behind you for good measure.

You drop onto your bed, desperately trying not to cry as you slap your hands over your face, like it’ll hold everything in. 

You just don’t get why Silco is acting like this. 

And the more time you spend with Seven, the more sure you are that he’s actually quite a repulsive, self-centered person. But you don’t know how to fix any of this mess you’ve gotten yourself into and all you really want is your best friend back. 

You just want everything to go back to the way it was.

Is that too much to ask? 

-

You haven’t spoken a word to Silco since your argument. Even after Vander had carefully explained that Silco probably didn’t mean what he’d said, you don’t want to hear it. The hurt is still too raw to forgive him yet. 

Everything has changed since you kissed. Now, your heart does this breathtaking little flip in your chest every time you see him, and all you can think about is kissing him again. But you're dating Seven and it's not like Silco likes you anyway, so there’s no point in entertaining it. 

Gods, you wish you could just stop feeling like this. 

You force yourself to go on another date with Seven, even though you had originally been planning on cancelling when you were talking about it to Vander. Now, you’re going just to spite Silco. 

So that’s how you find yourself walking through the city’s sprawling market stalls with Seven, kinda wishing you were anywhere else. You’re not really buying any of the products for sale because neither of you can afford much of anything at the moment, which just makes you feel all deflated. 

And Seven is holding your hand as you stroll along, but honestly, you wish he wasn’t. His hands are a bit sweaty and he’s gripping your knuckles just a bit too tightly for comfort. You have to keep letting go to wipe your hand on your leg and it’s starting to get really quite embarrassing. 

Just as you’re on the cusp of deciding whether to fake some kind of horrific illness or whether it’d be too dramatic to just flee Zaun and adopt a whole new identity, you’re saved by a tall figure stumbling into your side.

You only just manage to stop yourself from tripping to the ground, thankfully righting yourself before you can fall, just to look up in confusion at-

Silco. Who looks down at you with the most unapologetic expression you’ve ever seen in your life.

It’s clear he’s followed you because why else would he be in the market, he hates the market when it’s busy. He once said he’d rather run naked through the streets of Piltover in front of the Council building than risk the ‘throngs of dawdling idiots’ on a busy market day. 

"Hey, fancy bumping into you!” Silco acts surprised, completely over the top and almost embarrassingly unconvincing. He’s not getting a job in the Piltie theatre anytime soon, that’s for sure. 

Then, his expression drops when he glances at Seven, like there’s suddenly a bitter, bitter taste in his mouth. “Oh. What’s he doing here?”

You resist the urge to scream, finally letting go of Seven’s hand to step away from him.

"Silco-" 

"We're on a date." Seven finally speaks, looking thoroughly annoyed at the interruption. Even more annoyed than when Silco was rude to him outside your apartment. 

"Really?" Silco questions. He looks pointedly at the distance between the two of you and then stares obstinately at Seven. "Doesn't look like it to me." 

"Look, mate-" 

Silco cuts him off with deadly sharp precision. 

"You know, Six, I think we have a mutual acquaintance," he says, timbre turning positively dangerous. "Her name’s Lia. Works at the mines? That ring any bells in your dense, little head?" 

At this, Seven’s face pales. Rapidly. 

"Never heard of her," he insists, far too quickly to be anything but a lie. 

Then, he turns to you, snatching up your hand again. 

"Let's go, doll, we don’t have to put up with this." 

Silco’s expression darkens immeasurably, clenching his fists by his sides as he steps forward, but you beat him to the punch, ripping your hand out of Seven’s grasp. 

Fuck this. 

"You know what, I've just remembered that there's something that I need to do," you snap, borderline shouting over them when they both jump to speak. "Alone." 

Turning on your heel, you stalk off in the opposite direction, automatically heading towards the River without even really thinking about it. It’s the place you usually end up when you need to clear your head, and right now, you just need some peace and quiet.

You’re only a few streets away from the market when you hear Silco following you, knowing after all these years the loping strides of his gait by heart. When he makes no sign of stopping, you take a deep breath and turn to face him. 

"Please don’t." 

He says your name pleadingly but you shake your head. 

"I don't want to hear it, Silco," you say, a wave of exhaustion sweeping your bones.  

You’re far, far too tired for this.

"But he's-" 

"Why are you going out of your way to sabotage this for me?" you ask, absolutely detesting the way your voice wobbles on the last few words. 

Silco’s expression flickers, clearly torn between giving you space and stepping forward to comfort you. He ends up shoving his hands into his pockets defensively, but not without inching just that little bit closer to you. 

"I'm not trying to sabotage anything, I'm just trying to protect you," he replies, tone soft. An attempt at reassurance. 

"From what?" you ask.

"From getting hurt.”

He bites his lip, determined and desperately worried all at once. 

You sigh heavily, scrubbing a hand over your face.  

"I just don't get it, Sil, I don't get why you're doing all this," you say, letting your arms drop wearily by your side. 

He seems almost startled by your need for an explanation, uncharacteristically sheepish for the briefest moment as you watch him expectantly. 

"I… I just…" 

And then, as you continue to wait, his expression shutters, turning stony and closed off, and you know you’re not going to get anything from him now. Certainly not anything honest or in the least bit vulnerable. 

You bite your lip hard to stop the burning tears from falling. 

"Just go home, Silco," you say. You sniff back the tears, dejected but accepting. "I'll see you later.”

It breaks your heart to watch the way his shoulders slump but his expression still doesn’t crack. And he still doesn’t say a word when you slowly turn and walk away from him. He doesn’t stop you. 

The next few days feel like a haze of misery; a looping, unfathomable rhythm of going to work and returning home in silence, trying to ignore the way he watches you walk through the flat with a terribly lost expression, like you’ve slipped from his grasp.

You can’t bring yourself to talk to him, even though it physically hurts you to ignore him like this, the irony of not being able to talk to the one person who you can always go to. 

And with Vander gone so often, you’re left to just sit silently in your bedroom, staring at the cracks in the ceiling, wondering where the hell it all went wrong. 

-

a/n: I’m sorry for such an angsty end to this chapter, lots of fluff and comfort in the next one, i promise!! (and this story will def have a happy ending, i think i’m physically incapable of writing sad endings, it’s just not in my dna)

-

super secret taglist 😎: @oceansssblue, @inolaphoenix , @holographicgarden , @darlingimafangirl , @rainyforest777 , @kikiiswashere , @deviantgamergirl , @miffysoo , @eternallyvenus

[sweetbans29]

Injured - PB

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Summary: You tear your ACL and Paige is there to care for you (based on THIS request)

Warnings: slightly angsty, fluff, Paige as caring GF, role switch when it comes to injury (mirrors timeline of Paige's actual injury)

Word Count: 2.1k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: I am still figuring out how to write for Paige but we are out here trying. Any and all feedback is always welcome!

You never imagined your life to be what it was. At no point growing up did you expect to play college ball or go to one of the best colleges for women's basketball. Basketball was always something you enjoyed and mostly played because your friends played. It wasn't until high school that key people in your life started encouraging you to take it more seriously.

The summer before going into freshman year of high school your middle school coach sat down with you and your parents and highly encouraged them to put you in basketball year-round. He saw something in you that no one else had seen up to this point.

Your parents asked you if you wanted to play year-round and you just shrugged.

You did. Your parents switched you to a high school with a better program. When you weren't dominating on the court in high school, you were dominating on another court - turning the eyes of a lot of coaches and brands.

Your first brand deal was with Gatorade. It was all thanks to your old middle school coach who had some connection within the company and told them they would regret not getting you early. You were only a sophomore when you signed with them.

Your current coach did an interview that explained who you were as a ball player when someone came out right after you closed the brand deal.

"Her mentality when it comes to the game is unmatched. She is a sophomore in high school and is ready to play in college - if you haven't seen her play, you must." Coach Rudd says. When asked about what specifically stands out about the young star compared to other up-and-coming players that colleges are scouting, his response was not what you would expect. "There is no doubt that her talent is seen when she is on the court. That is known. But what impresses me the most is how she brings her teammates into her thought process. She takes the IQ that she has for the game and is able to explain and teach that to her teammates." Coach Rudd says. "There are times I feel like she gives me a run for my money as head coach of this team." Rudd jokes. "The world needs to watch out for her - she may not enjoy standing in the spotlight but it will follow her wherever she goes. She is just getting started." Rudd finishes.

Even with the interviews and the brand deals that followed, it wasn't until colleges started reaching out and asking about your plans for college that it dawned on you to play after high school.

All of your teammates at the time thought it was comical how much you had your head in the sand when it came to how sought out you were. They would tease you endlessly about it, just shrugging them off and playing the game you love.

After becoming one of the most known high school ball players, you committed to UConn to play for Geno. The way he approached you about college ball was different than any other coach had. He understood your basketball mentality better than anyone else had up to this point.

It wasn't until you got to college that it really hit you how many people knew you. You walked into your first practice and the whole team started mumbling about you. Not much bugged you, but for some reason this did.

You feel someone come up beside you but you don't pay them much attention until they speak.

"Don't worry, they aren't saying anything bad - I heard them talking about the freshman superstar that's coming in and how she is going to change the Huskies game for the better. I thought they were talking about me, but then they said your name..." The girl says as she extends her hand to you. "I'm Paige," she says, and you shake her hand introducing yourself.

"Oh I know who you are ma, everyone here does," she says with a little laugh. You pull back a little embarrassed now.

"This is all new," you say trying to justify your body language. That was the truth - not many people talked about you in high school and you just kept your head down. But this was much different.

"Just stick with me, I got you," Paige says and you follow her over.

She was your saving grace freshman year. The more you got to know her - the more you realized you had in common with her. Her understanding of the game, her understanding of outsiders looking in, you both loving the sport and just wanting to play to the best of your ability.

It was toward the end of your freshman year that you admitted your feelings for Paige. You had spent the night at hers and woke up entangled with the blonde. You watched her sleep and decided you had waited long enough. When she woke up, you were already staring at her. As she looked into your eyes, you leaned in and kissed her without warning.

It caught her off-guard but she melted into you.

The two of you decided to keep your relationship as lowkey as possible, knowing that you don't like being in the limelight. You told the team a few weeks in and it came as no surprise to them. Most of the time, Paige took the lead which was nothing out of the ordinary.

Everything in your life had been pretty smooth. It all changed during an early-season game your sophomore year.

You were mid-transition when you pivoted and felt a snap in your knee, immediately falling to the ground. You were guarding a girl from the other team, and by the looks of anyone watching, it looked like she had faked you causing you to lose your footing and fall. It was only when you were on the ground holding your knee that everyone realized something had happened.

Initially, the play kept going. Both teams believed you were going to get up and continue to play. After the other team finished the play, the refs and your team noticed you were still on the ground.

You knew exactly what had happened the second you felt the pop but refused to believe it. After the initial pain, you tried to get up on your own while the play was still going but couldn't. Not that anyone would expect you to but yourself.

Paige was the first person to run over to you, kneeling by you and asking you what hurt. You were holding your knee, rolling around trying to find any sort of unpainful position which didn't come. Your hand kept hitting the ground in frustration.

Paige is yelling furiously at the bench for someone from the medical team to come over to you. No one was moving fast enough for Paige's liking.

She kneels by your side, grabbing the hand that keeps hitting the ground. She knew she could let anyone see how scared she was, but she was terrified. If there was anyone in the building who understood you better than yourself it was Paige.

"Someone is coming, babe. Someone is coming." Paige keeps muttering.

"Just get me up," you say - frustrated with the whole situation.

"Someone is coming." Paige repeats again.

"Get me up!" You yell indirectly at Paige. Paige doesn't want to move you without someone coming to help but Azzi reaches out her hand to help you up. Nika is behind you and hooks her arms under your arms.

"1, 2,3," Azzi counts and you let out a grunt as the two girls lift you up. You balance on one leg as Azzi puts one of your arms around her shoulders, Paige on the other side with Nika still behind you. The three girls help you to the bench - the medical team meeting you halfway.

You see Paige turn to them and yell something that you can't make out.

Paige doesn't want to leave your side but is grabbed by Geno when Azzie and Nika pass you off to go back to the locker room.

"We need you here," Geno says. "They will take care of her," he says as Paige looks down the hall where they had just taken you.

She heads back out on the floor and finishes the game.

You on the other hand were being looked at.

The game ended - it was a total upset. After you left the floor, Paige fouled out leaving the team down two of its best players. When the team made their way back to the locker room, you were lying on one of the tables with your leg elevated with ice. You have your arm covering your face as your mind races with a thousand different thoughts.

Girls from the team come and make their way to you but you don't say a word. Everyone but Paige tries to talk to you and you just give nods or little exhales.

Once the room cleared out - Paige walks up to you.

She puts a hand on your stomach and it is like she releases all the pent-up frustration you had been harboring since going down. You feel tears stream down the sides of your face as you bring your other arm up to stifle the cries that are coming whether you want them to or not.

"It's all so stupid." You say. Paige pulls up a chair and sits next to you.

You don't say anything for a few minutes.

"I'm stupid." You finally say.

"Don't say that ma, you aren't stupid," Paige says as her hands come up to remove your arms from your face.

Your arms fall and she begins to rub the one closest to you.

"This could have happened to anyone," she continues. "I know this sucks - it is the last thing you want to be dealing with right now but this isn't the end okay?"

Paige sits there knowing that if the roles were reversed, there is nothing that you could say to make her feel better about the situation. So she just sits there with you, holding your hand and rubbing your arm until you are cleared to go home.

Paige takes you home that night You don't say much but you are incredibly thankful your girl is there.

She helps you into bed and runs out to get you all the necessities. Your phone is turned off, not wanting to hear what anyone has to say about what happened.

When Paige walks back in, she hands you some meds and water.

"I let your parents know how you are doing," she says in the softest voice. You don't look at her, knowing if you do, tears will begin to fall.

She comes and lays next to you, opening her side up for you to cuddle into. She makes sure your leg is positioned well before you finally feel her settle and exhale.

After a few minutes, you speak.

"It's funny how I wasn't even thinking about college basketball until someone mentioned it to me. I never would have imagined playing past high school. I mean I have always loved the sport and knew I would always play but coming here and playing at this level has been amazing. It opened my eyes to the potential of more. The potential of a championship. The potential of multiple championships. The potential of the W. The potential of coaching someday. If there is anything that this injury has shown me it's that I'm not finished." You say.

"I am going to do what I need to do to come back better than I left the court. Not only physically but mentally. The world has no idea the drive that is burning inside me." You finish.

Paige can feel your breath pick up as you talk - only backing up what you are saying. She kisses the top of your head with a smile.

"I have no doubts that you will come back better." She says as she intertwines her fingers with hers. "But for now, I need you to rest, ma."

You nod.

"Rest is good." You say with a yawn. "But tomorrow we start."

"How about we give you a week or two, then we can talk about it," Paige says knowing you are going to be a challenging girl to care for. "We will have plenty of time to get you where you want to be, but before then we gotta get you fixed up." She is rubbing your thigh.

"We will see about that," you say and nestle into your girl.

Right as you are about to fall asleep, you let out a deep sigh.

"Thank you, P," you say. "Thank you for knowing me and loving me for me." You say knowing you can be a lot.

"I can't imagine my life with anyone else," Paige says, voice laced with sleep.

"Good," you say. "Because you are stuck with me."

AN: First Paige request in the books. Hope you all enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for your love and support 💙

[renjunphile]

for the rest of ours ᡣ𐭩 song eunseok

୨♡୧ WORD COUNT: 13.4k ୨♡୧ PAIRING: riize's song eunseok x female!reader ୨♡୧ TAGS & WARNINGS: chaebol heirs!au, rich kids!au, one sided enemies to lovers!au, arranged marriage!au, angsty at the start, overall fluff, reader is selfish and mean to eunseok for a good chunk of the story, brief unrequited love but y/n is an unreliable narrator tbh, second chance romance, she fell first but he fell harder trope, drinking, partying, non linear narrative

୨♡୧ SYNOPSIS: you find song eunseok to be utterly and despicably insufferable. too bad he's your fiancé since birth! and there was nothing you could do about it!

୨♡୧ NOTES: OHHHH im having such an intense eunseok rot that i had to write the most gut wrenching and nonsensical piece that becomes to sickeningly fluffy at the end. theyre just so in love with each other and there's literally no plot at all!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey one of the worst pieces i've written in recent times since i rushed it but i will edit and add scenes and plot in the future :> but for now, enjoy! ♡ i.b let my by zayn at the end :)

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

It may be disturbing for some and horrifying to say, but your eyes hadn't even fully formed in the womb to open and your limbs weren't even well defined enough to have joints when your life was signed off to another's. For goodness' sake, it had barely even been a month since your tiny, minuscule heart started beating! What would the Song's have done if you grew up ugly?

You sighed to yourself, muttering under your breath how Korea's third richest family should be grateful you were akin to art in anyone's eyes. You were looking through the dusty photo albums that the housekeeper found while tidying the primary study of the mansion, and you grimaced at the photos of your fiancé that appeared from even the very first page.

It was bad enough that you were engaged before you were born, but did he really have to attend your birth? He probably didn't even have memories then! But there it was, under your fingertips: a perfectly preserved photo of a 3-month old Eunseok bundled up in sleep suit being posed next to where the nurses placed you after they literally just took you out of your mother. You don't even think the umbilical cord had been cut yet.

"Y/N, Mr. Song is outside," your favourite housekeeper coos at you from the double doors going into the study. You give her a terse smile and stand up from your father's office chair, straightening your silk gown before taking her hand as she helped you down the marble stairs of your home.

You roll your eyes (mostly to yourself, but you didn't mind if he noticed) as you saw his car parked at the bottom of the stairs leading to your front door.

"You can't even be bothered to come and collect me? Or open the door for me?" you sneer as soon as you settled yourself into the passenger seat.

"Well hello to you too, my lovely wife," Eunseok smirks, immediately revving and setting off around the fountain of your courtyard.

"I'm not your wife," you snap, deciding to ignore when the word 'yet' seems to slip under his breath, "But seriously Eunseok? This car? I'm going to look so stupid trying to get out of this car in my dress and heels. Why do you love sitting on the floor so much?"

Eunseok has an extensive car range. One that any car junkie would envy, but Song Eunseok knew nothing about cars. He just had them because he could. This car was a sports car where you had to sit in such a ridiculous position just so the car could look cool on the outside.

"It's white!" he defends himself, slightly whining in a cute way to which you swallow down a positive reaction. His eyes flicker over to you momentarily and his tongue traces across his bottom lip, "You look gorgeous, by the way. Very bridal."

You're wearing a white silk dress that looks like it's made for your body. It's draped so beautifully around your hips and hugs every part that needs to be accentuated. You loved this dress the second you saw it in Paris, but you never thought then that it would be used for this occasion. 

"Just shut up and drive," you quip. It takes a few moments of silence for you to feel bad even though his expression remains neutral and you sigh, "I guess you don't look too bad."

"Aw, I knew you were in love with me!" he teases again, a phrase he liked to use every time you said something to him that wasn't snarky, sarcastic or an insult.

You choose not to reply, instead taking in the bright lights of Seoul as he pulls into a main road. You haven't been back in a while, holing yourself up in your penthouse in Manhattan, but you always loved the sight of home.

"But seriously, Y/N," Eunseok coughs to get your attention, his voice dropping down low and suddenly serious, "This actually might be your last chance to back out of this. Just say the word and I'll turn this car around and take you straight to Incheon and you can run away around the world long enough until they find me a new bride."

You turn to look at him, perplexed by his words, "And you? You actually want to get hitched off to some random?"

Eunseok shrugs, not meeting your eyes, "You're not some random. I've known you since you were born. I've known you'd be my wife since the day I could understand what that meant. But if I have to find a replacement because you don't want to do it anymore, I will."

"Gee, ever the gentleman," you deadpan, "I think want is a pretty strong word. I don't want to marry you, but I guess I will."

"You're not backing out? Not leaving me looking stupid up on the altar?" Eunseok taps his finger on the leather steering wheel.

You think about his words sincerely. There's really nothing more in the world that you'd love than to run away to a small little town on the southern coast of Italy- somewhere quaint and quiet where you'd find love and spend the rest of your days cooking, cleaning, baking and finding peace in the ocean. There's nothing more in the world that you want more than for someone to ask to marry you because they were in love with your soul and not having you by their side would be like torture in the cruelest form.

Alas, you're Kang Y/N of the powerful Kang family, the eldest child of your father and the next heir waiting to take over the conglomerate. And because you're Kang Y/N, the eldest daughter of the second richest family in Korea, you were contracted to marry the first son of the third richest family in Korea. After that, your companies would merge and you would overtake the Kim's as the sole ruler of the country.

"It's my duty," you swallow nervously as you begin to recognise the streets of where you were driving, signalling that you were soon approaching the venue, "It's fine, Eunseok."

"I wish it wasn't just fine. I wish this was what you wanted." he breathes out and your heart stops beating for a second before anger seeps in through the cracks of your heart.

"Do you think it's any girl's dream to marry someone that doesn't love them?"

Eunseok sighs as he presses on the breaks, moving through the lifted barrier where they had closed a portion of the street in anticipation for his car and your arrival. He twists his body to look at you, "Y/N-"

"It's fine, Eunseok," you grit your teeth as you repeat your words, eyes trained on the paparazzi camped out on the steps of the venue, eager to get a glimpse of you, "Let's just get this engagement party over with."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

Song Eunseok had to follow you around the world like a lost puppy.

When you said that you wanted to go to that boarding school in Switzerland where only the richest sent their kids, Eunseok was in the seat next to you on that first class flight. When you said that you were going to Oxford to study for your undergraduate degree, Eunseok was tossing away his dream to study at Harvard to join you getting drunk at 18 under the grey British sky. When you said that you wanted to do your masters at Columbia so you could live in New York City, Eunseok was moving into the apartment across yours while he worked at the company his dad created in New York just for him to have something to do there.

If you said jump, Eunseok had to say how high?

That was just the name of the game considering the Song's had more to gain from this arrangement. Your family was richer. Your family was in a greater range of industries. Your family's money went back a lot further than the Song's. And you- you were the most stunning woman in Eunseok's eyes and because of him, you were stripped of your choice to fall in love. That's why the Song family gave you princess treatment from the second you were able to demand things. 

You had protested until your vocal cords went raw when they found out that they were sending Eunseok to university with you. For years up until you turned 18, you had imagined finally getting away from Eunseok for once, even if just for 3 years. He had always talked about Harvard and with the grades to boot, you thought that you'd finally have an ocean separating you.

It certainly wasn't an easy fight at the airport as you threatened to drop out of university the second that you even stepped foot into the new country. All your father did was bat his eyelashes and give you a heartfelt, "Please, princess? Just do this for us."

The phrase 'just do this for us' nearly knocked you sick nowadays after over 2 decades of hearing it spew out of your father's mouth. Ultimately, yes, you were lucky to have such a loving family that never pushed anything evil or truly despicable onto you. This was the one thing they needed from you. They obliged every want and wish for the trade-off of giving your hand in marriage to the Song's first born son.

In June of your third year of university, a couple months out from your graduation, Eunseok turned up at your door completely drunk.

"What are you doing here?" your arms were crossed tightly, trying to cover as much of yourself as possible as you were clad in the smallest pyjamas for the British summer heat.

He grinned goofily up at you, eyes lazily fluttering open and closed, "Hi, Y/N. I'm drunk." He was leaning against the doorway, nearly making out with the frame.

"I can see that," you sniffed the air and grimaced, "And smell it. But what are you doing here?"

"Can't I visit my lovely fiancée on her 21st birthday?" he batted his long eyelashes sweetly at you, taking one step into the apartment. You gazed at him hesitantly, taking one step back.

"I don't think anyone would appreciate their fiancé turning up on their doorstep piss drunk at 2am," you spat, "If you truly wanted to wish me a happy birthday, you would have left me alone."

"I lost my keys," Eunseok groaned, "I didn't know where else to go."

It should be sweet that out of all the places he could have chosen to go to in the city, he went to yours. Instead, it made you feel angrier.

"Eunseok, stop bothering me," your words contrasted your actions as you pulled him into your apartment and locked the door behind him, "Go sleep in the spare bedroom and leave as soon as you wake up. I'm going out for breakfast with my friends tomorrow so lock the door behind you and keep the key with you 'til you see me next." You pulled the spare key out of the drawer and placed it in his pocket.

Like a pathetic dog, Eunseok followed behind you as you led him through the apartment your parents had bought for you.

"Can I sleep with you?" he murmured.

"In your dreams, Song," you retorted, stopping in front of the spare room door, "Plus, you stink like shit."

"Ah, it's okay," he sighed dreamily, resting his head against the door, "We have the rest of forever to sleep beside each other."

You let out a frustrated screech, shoving his chest, "Can you let me live in peace? Why do you have to keep reminding me?"

"In the hopes that one day the thought of it won't make you sick or angry," he replied, opening the door of the room.

Your strong gaze faltered, "What are you- in love with me?"

"No," Eunseok shook his head, "I could learn to though, if you wanted me to."

"The only thing I want from you is to be far away from me," you ran your hands through your hair to soothe yourself, "And even that you can't do."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. Thanks for letting me stay," Eunseok gave up on his tyranny and dropped his voice, "Happy birthday."

You muster up a near half-smile, turning to return to your bed where you'd be tossing and turning until your alarm went off, "Goodnight Eunseok."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

The worst thing about your arrangement with Eunseok was that it was kept secret.

Of course, it was an open secret in your families and to the company- and there were always rumours about it since you two ended up always together around the world. But it wasn't like it was announced to the world at any point to protect the prospective merger happening when you and Eunseok came of age.

That made relationships very hard indeed. It always had to end in heartbreak, at least for the other person.

The two of you agreed that you could see other people if you wanted to, and you agreed on this the same day you had your very first heartbreak.

"Eunseok, can we talk?" you poked his side to catch his attention. Eunseok was bouncing his basketball up and down while he spoke with his friends just outside the school courts. It had been 2 months since you moved back to Korea after spending 3 years in Switzerland at boarding school, where you quickly became homesick. Eunseok followed you home immediately.

Your fiancé bid his friends goodbye and gave you a sweet smile, "Yeah of course. What's up?"

You led him to the adjacent square that was thankfully deserted and settled just under the bloomed cherry blossom tree in the middle, "Um."

Eunseok giggled at your hesitancy and pushed your hair behind your ear, "What is it?"

16 year old you blushed terrifically at that moment, highlighting your plump cheeks and shining eyes as Eunseok peered down at you.

"I know this is um, pretty stupid," you began, breaking his stare and looking down at your Prada loafers, "Well basically, my friend Jimin- you know Jimin?- she told me to-"

"Just say it, Y/N."

"I like you?"

It came out more of a question as you quirked your eyebrow up at your fiancé.

His eyes went wide, taking in a deep breath, "Y/N. You," he paused, "You like me?"

"Yeah," you exhaled, "Is that so bad? We're going to get married someday."

Eunseok looked around and noticed his friends turning the corner to the courtyard, presumably to look for him, "Look, Y/N, I'm sorry but I thought we were going to, you know, try experience life like how others do and meet people and do whatever we want to until they tell us we need to get married. I didn't think we were obliged to date."

Your eyes began to water and your lips began to quiver as sheer embarrassment sunk into your bones, "So what? You want to date around?"

Eunseok reached out to cup your face but you quickly took a step back, feeling humiliated and slightly bettayed, "I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't know you felt like this towards me. Look, can we talk later? I'll swing by your house after basketball practice, okay?"

From the ages of 0-16, you would say that you and Eunseok were close childhood friends. Even though you had no concept of marriage or love, your parents had forced the two of you to be together through every occasion with weekly play dates and attending the same schools. When you finally understood what being engaged to each other meant at around 12 years old, it made you swoon that you were going to spend the rest of your life with your best friend, who you'd always found endearingly cute. He became more handsome as the years went by and at 16, he was the object of all of your desires.

He was manly, he was protective, he was sporty and most of all, he treated you so well. He would run around town with you no question to go shopping and indulge you in all of your cravings even if you needed to have ice cream at 10pm in the dead of winter. He would take the train with you all around Switzerland to see different lakes and ski resorts. He would help you study in the library and pass you your favourite snacks whenever it seemed you were getting tired. He would give you his jacket on the breezy nights watching the local sports matches.

You were so blinded with your affection towards him that you had convinced yourself that he did those things because he liked you back. Because he wanted to treat his future wife well.

The day Eunseok stamped all over your little heart was the day you waged a one-sided war against him. Eventually, Eunseok began reciprocating your snarky attitude and the rest had been history.

You told your maids and house security to refuse entry to the grounds to Eunseok that night, but because of your parents' unconditional offer to Eunseok to make your house also his home, he had spent a good part of the night on the other side of your bedroom door trying to get you to open it so he could apologise. For a man you were once smitten for, it was easy to put on your headphones and drown him out until he got exhausted and left.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

Eunseok opens the car door for you and offers out his hand. In the darkness of his car, you grimace slightly, but force yourself to take his hand and use your free hand to smooth your dress out as you exit the car. The flashes from the press are blinding and carry on all the way up to the bottom of the staircase leading into the venue your parents had hired for the evening.

You try to keep a pleasant smile on your face as Eunseok passes his keys to the valet men before wrapping his arms around your waist. It comes nearly naturally to him, from all the photos your parents had made you pose together in dating back a decade or two. But it's your first official public appearance together, so the flashes intensify and you're taken aback. Eunseok feels you stumble slightly and begins to lead you along the carpet rolled out up to the stairs.

There's shouting from every direction- asking where your dress was from, asking if you were dating, asking why you were with the 'rival' company's son all the time- nothing new to you. After you traverse up the stairs, the two of you turn around and give a small wave at the cameras. You feel Eunseok drop his head down to yours, so you nestle yourself into him a bit more. How sweet, you thought to yourself, pushing down the urge to throw up at all this fakeness.

"Last chance to run," Eunseok murmurs as the doorman opens the glass doors into the foyer.

"Are you begging me to?" you counter, "Why do you keep insisting I back out?"

"I'm not. I just feel guilty, so I'll make up a solution if you want to stop all of this," he whispers into your ear. To others, it's an endearing moment as you keep your face neutral.

"It is all your fault. You should feel guilty. I'm not doing this for you or your family, but for my family. If this is what they want, then I'll oblige," you nod your head firmly.

While Eunseok's family was definitely benefiting more from the merger, it did come with some advantages for your family too: less competition in the market, combined success superseding the current top conglomerate, and for your parents: the knowledge that their first born child was going to have someone that was born to and raised from a good and rich family- someone that would be able to take care of you no matter what and understand your life in a way no other civilian could.

You know that your parents' argument for you to marry this guy was weak- there were plenty of good, rich guys from other companies- but you had been happy with the arrangement at the start and by the time you were 16 and he was breaking your heart, the companies had already started slowly merging or putting the plans into place. It was honestly a shame to your parents that other than rejecting you, Eunseok really had no faults. He was always polite, always courteous and intelligent enough to take over the conglomerate with you when the time would come.

Eunseok drops his arm from your waist, instead sliding his finger between yours.

"Miss. Y/L/N, Mr. Song," your family's general assistant approaches you in the foyer with a tight smile, "The event is about to begin. Please follow me to the stage. Are your speeches prepared?"

"Mhm," you hum, tugging Eunseok with you behind your assistant, "The rest of the family are here?"

"Yes. They're waiting by the stage," she replies as nerves finally settle into your stomach. You suddenly can't even look at Eunseok anymore as the gravity of the situation clicks into your mind. After this, you were going to be officially engaged in front of the world and you were going to be his bride in no less than a year from now. There was no turning back anymore.

Eunseok has to shoot you a look to stop you shaking on the stage as your father and his begin their speeches about their company, and the new era and blah, blah, blah. You tune them out in order to focus on your breathing and make sure you don't barf the second you step up to the podium. After minutes of nonsense, you feel Eunseok place his hand on the small of your back, signalling you to take to the stand.

"Um," you began, suddenly losing all the lessons you had learned in your public speaking classes growing up, "Thank you all for joining us on this occassion. As my father said, we are transitioning into a new era of our company and as I take on the role of COO, we believe it's important to have good people by your side to support you. While my family and the Songs are joining together in business, we are also joining together in family," you look over at Eunseok, who gives you a reassuring nod, "Song Eunseok and I are to be wed in one year's time. We have been close friends and partners since we were born and I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be by my side. We can go into this business partnership fully trusting each other and our companies and we would be grateful if you could give us your support. Thank you."

You step away from the podiums as gasps ring through the crowd. The business venture was nearly an open secret in the industry, but your relationship with Eunseok was based on rumours only, having never confirmed it. Now that you have, it would stir up all these new rumours- were you only getting married for the merger? Did you two actually love each other? What about all the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes that had been conniving to get even a bit of your or Eunseok's time to beg for your hand in marriage?

Eunseok takes his place beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist again as your families smile together for the pictures. The engagement party also doubled as a celebration for the merger, so at least all of the spotlight wasn't on you.

You're glad that your friends are here. They're all business heirs too, since like attracted like at your school. Your best friend Minjeong attacks you with a hug the second you step down from the stage.

"Ah, my best friend is getting married," she sighs dreamily into your ear, "You know what, Y/N, at least he's handsome. It's harder to hate someone when they look that good."

"Then you marry him," you chide, half-joking, "The problem has never been his looks. It's the situation."

"He doesn't hate you half as much as you hate him," Minjeong tuts, "And he's in the same situation. He never got a choice either."

You know deep down that she's right, but you're committed to making his life hell until the ends of the earth for breaking your heart. If anyone could say anything about you, it was that you could hold a grudge.

"Whose side are you on?" you prod her arm, but she rolls her eyes and links arms with you to join Eunseok and his friends.

"Happy engagement, lovebirds," Sungchan greets you with two kisses on your cheeks, "So excited to be at your wedding."

"I'm sitting you at the back," you retort, sticking your tongue out. You hated that Eunseok's friends were genuinely nice and funny people. It was so hard to distance yourself from Eunseok when your friendship groups had been deeply intertwined since you all could walk.

"Not when I'm a groomsman, right Eunseok-ie?" Sungchan swings his arm around his friend's shoulder, pulling him close, "Now tell me, who's the best man?"

Eunseok shoves his arm off, "You can just draw straws for it."

"I'll be the best man, hyung," Seunghan grins cheekily, "I'll make sure to give a really good speech, okay?"

"It's almost as if it's a real wedding," you smile bitterly, "Jeong, you'll be my maid of honour right?"

"You have to ask me properly," Minjeong whines, "We're going to do this wedding right, okay? My best friend will only get married once. I'm not letting you let your wedding planner do everything; we've been planning our dream weddings since we were 10 so we'll do it according to that."

"C'mon Y/N," Wonbin bumps his shoulder with yours, "We can make it fun. We know you'd rather not marry hyung, but he had always been the groom in all the weddings you'd plan when you were young. Now it's like a dream come true."

"Yah, Park Wonbin," Eunseok grits his teeth at his friend for bringing up the past. You wince at the reminder as Minjeong slaps his arm.

"Y/N, I think your mother is calling over you and Eunseok to dance," Shotaro calls for you softly, and you turn around to see your mother desperately signalling to you to join her on the dance floor.

"I'll see you guys later," you bid your friends a goodbye as you follow Eunseok into the crowd.

The night crawls by. It's nearly painful as you fake a smile with every passerby and acquaintance who congratulates you for your engagement. It feels like you're getting stabbed in the heart over and over again as everyone coos over how in love the two of you seem and how they always knew you were going to end up together. It crushes you as Eunseok leans down to your ear while you dance, apologising for how this was your life.

You get into his car after the party. The ride home is silent, apart from the noise of the city around you that seeps in even through the rolled up windows. Eunseok won't even dare breathe too loud in fear of making your life even less like what you had dreamed it to be.

He pulls up to your house and you make a quick move to unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door in one motion, but Eunseok wraps his hand around your wrist gently, bringing you back down.

"What is it now, Song?" you sigh in frustration, closing your eyes in defeat.

"I know this night has made your hatred for me 10 times worse," Eunseok begins, shuffling in his seat to reach into his inside pocket, "And I know that what we have isn't real to you, but I thought you at least deserved this."

Your eyes flutter open and you look over to him. He uncurls his clenched hand, unveiling a shiny ring in the middle of his palm. You bite back the gasp that bubbles up through your throat, and you reluctantly take the ring between your fingers without looking at him.

It's exactly your dream ring. It's what you imagined the love of your life to propose with when you were younger. It's what you wanted to be someone's physical manifestation of their love and devotion to you. That makes it all the worse when it comes from Eunseok.

"I remembered," Eunseok reads your mind, "When we went ring shopping when we were young for fun because you wanted to make sure I would propose with the right ring. I hope it's still what you want."

You can't bear to look at Eunseok at all, so you clench the ring in your hand and open the door, "Goodnight Eunseok. Thank you. Get home safely."

There's 100 steps between your front door and your bedroom. It takes what's left of your energy to hold back the sobs that threaten to escape prematurely. As soon as your bedroom door clicks shut, you collapse against your floor and break down in tears.

Why did Song Eunseok have to be such a good man? Why did you have to hate him? He was yours now, and that was what younger you wanted all along. Why were you taking it out on him? You had been holding onto a grudge for so long and he had been trying to make amends in private ever since, despite going along with your whole enemies thing for his own fun.

You hated how you knew that Song Eunseok could and would give you the life you wanted. You hated how all you wanted to do was love him like it was your choice and for him to love you back like it was his. But in this world, you were privileged enough to have everything you ever wanted, aside from the choice to love whoever you wanted to.

You hated how you didn't even have a choice in loving someone who didn't love you back.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

You fought with Eunseok nearly every time that you saw him through your university years. You found problems in the way he positioned himself too close to you and problems in the way he would distance himself and act like strangers when you did complain about that. You found problems in the way he didn't talk to other girls despite rejecting you and found problems when he would go on dates after you said that.

In short, Song Eunseok was a problem to you.

Yizhuo was forcing shots into your hands and demanding that you downed them with her as you tried to tune back in to the party going on around you. You couldn't think of anything else the second that Song Eunseok walked through the door arm in arm with some girl.

It was the last party of your undergraduate university days, since exams had finished and you were going to graduate in just a couple of weeks. Someone had rented out some kind of manor in the outskirts of Oxford, dedicated for everyone to stay at and party for a weekend. You knew the organiser through a friend of a friend, but everyone that had been invited was someone you either knew personally or knew of. The spoilt brats community at your university was large, but tight.

You obliged Yizhuo's request and bitterly downed the drink, hissing as it burned through your tracts, "What is this? It tastes disgusting."

"Alcohol isn't made to taste nice," she tutted at you, following your line of sight before sighing, "I guess it's time to get you more so you don't have to be sober looking at that."

Minjeong shook her head on the other side of you, "I can't believe he would bring someone here. He knew you'd be here. So disrespectful."

You saw that Eunseok was about to turn, so you quickly spin away in order to avoid eye contact, "It doesn't matter to me. We're not dating."

"But he's your fiancé," Yizhuo stomped in defiance, "He should have some respect for you."

"Since he didn't want to date me, i'd rather him date other people. Then it just looks like he rejected me because he didn't like me as a person," you affirmed, taking another shot with Minjeong.

"Y/N, please. You were 16 when you confessed and 16 year old boys don't have the most mature outlook on life," Minjeong argued, coughing after the bitter shot, "I'm sure he's not stupid anymore. You grew up hot and he's practically tripping over his own feet trying to chase after you."

"He's not chasing me," you scoffed, "He brought a girl here."

"Oh, you're impossible, Y/N," Yizhuo cried out, beginning to slur, "What do you actually want that poor boy to do? Even I would be confused with the way you act."

Your best friends have been trying to knock sense into you since you turned 18 and Eunseok gave up his dream to study at Harvard to be with you in England. They had claimed that Eunseok realised his feelings for you and wanted to make up for rejecting you. You claimed that if that was his intention, he would have told you that by now instead of pestering you by inserting himself into your new life without reason.

"He can do whatever he wants," you turned your nose up, "I don't care about him."

"Well you better act that way. He's coming," Minjeong warned you, suddenly disappearing with Yizhuo and leaving you stranded with your fiancé walking towards you.

It honestly felt like the grim reaper floating over in slow motion before he came to collect your soul. You fought hard to control the grimace on your face as he stopped in front of you.

"Y/N," he greeted softly, leaning in to give you a hug. You stood still, but you don't push him away. You ignored the way your heart skipped a beat when he pressed his cheek gently against the top of your head.

"Eunseok,"

"How were exams? You're graduating this year, right?" his head is tilted at you, eyes focused into yours.

"Why are you even asking? I'm sure you know my plans for the next 10 years considering you're still following me around," you scoffed, "Does your new girl know you're moving to New York after graduation so you can stalk me while I do my masters?"

"Are you jealous?" he smirked suddenly, gentle demeanour disappearing, "She's just a friend."

"Does she know that? I don't care what you do, Song. I just feel bad for the poor girl whose heart you're going to break when you tell her you're engaged," you feigned nonchalance, pouring yourself another shot, "I guess it's my fault for telling you to have your fun and experience things since apparently you'll be so devoid of love when you get married."

"Y/N," he trailed off, grabbing the soju bottle that had appeared in your hands, "You know it's not like that. I didn't mean it like that when I reject-"

"Save it, Song," you rolled your eyes, "Your girl is coming. Don't go blaming me when time comes to break her heart."

You turned away in time and managed to snatch back your alcohol before arms wrap around Eunseok's and a high pitch voice squeals to him about how she lost him. You find Sungchan somewhere in the crowd and convince him to call you a taxi to take you back into the town where your apartment was. Before he could even confirm the booking, you had already disappeared into the crowd, the shots you had taken truly seeping into your blood and making your head spin.

You don't really remember what happened the rest of that night, but if you try hard enough, you can remember being tucked into a bed on the third floor, big eyes peering down at you as you tossed under the duvet, a hunched figure sat at the end of the bed on the floor and a soft voice singing you to a deep slumber.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

"It's gorgeous, darling," your mother's voice takes you out of the focus mode you're in. The sunlight seeps through the stained glass, illuminating the sunroom at the back of your house. If you look down through the windows, you'd find the garden that your mother has been cultivating for decades. The rose garden with its arches and its vines was where you'd dreamed to get proposed to when you were young.

"You think so?" you showed her the sketch in full, turning the pad, "Do you think it's easy enough to create in real life?"

"We can make anything you want happen," your mother takes a seat in the lounge chair next to yours.

"Can you make Eunseok love me back?" you hum dejectedly, shading in the corset of what would be your wedding dress.

"He does, sweetheart. You just refuse to see it," your mother swiftly utters, and you stop your drawing, clenching the pencil tightly in your fist.

"Why does everyone say that?" you growl, "Everyone but Eunseok."

"Because you act like you hate him. You act like marrying him is the worst thing in the world. You act like there's nothing he could say or do that would bring him back into your favour despite you loving him all these years," your mother is lecturing you now, "He follows your lead, my darling. He will go to the ends of the earth for you and he always has. What more does he have to do for you to accept the way he shows his love? What more can he do to have your forgiveness?"

There's tears welling up in your eyes and your mother takes the drawing pad away from you to examine the dress you had envisioned. She carries on while you chew your lip and fight back the tears.

"You're going to be beautiful in this dress. One year's time will fly by, so make amends with Eunseok by then. Even if you don't go into this marriage as lovers, at least go into it as friends. That will make your life easier."

"I don't want to be friends," you grit out.

"Mhm, you want all or nothing. Why don't you ask him, then? He threw the ball in your court when he asked you if this marriage is what you want. Someone who doesn't love you or care about you wouldn't give you the option to run away to save yourself, you know?" you hate how insightful your mother is as she grabs your left hand, "This ring is beautiful, Y/N. He knows your heart like it's his."

"Cause it is his," you choke as the tears begin falling, "And he stamped all over it 8 years ago."

"He was just a young boy back then. He's followed you all over the world to be by your side ever since. He's sacrificed his own life to make your dreams come true. You have no choice but to marry each other, but he's been making choices to give you the life you wanted," she strokes your hair gently, "Can you give the boy a chance?"

Over the years, your parents had apologised to you for putting you in such a situation. They had told you that if you truly, inside your heart, didn't want to get married to Song Eunseok, they would call the whole thing off. The marriage was a way to ensure the merger wouldn't go awry by putting you and Eunseok as collateral if one side ever did try to betray the other. Tying the two of you together in marriage was a way to prevent either families from ruining the other.

You considered putting a stop to things more times than you could count on your fingers, but selfishly, you would imagine yourself on a rocking chair on a porch, hair grey and skin wrinkly and when you would look over to see who would be on the other chair, Eunseok was the only one you could imagine with you.

"But I've treated him so horribly all these years," you hiccup, trying to stop your crying, "There's no way that Eunseok would love someone like me."

"Because you won't let him," she stands up and places the drawing pad back in your lap, "Y/N, your father and I love you very much and all we want is your happiness. We haven't opposed this marriage despite how hard you've tried to push Eunseok away because we know that if you let him, he would make you truly happy. You're the only person stopping that happiness."

You ponder on her words for a while after she leaves, adding little details to your dress. For someone who was acting like this wedding was going to ruin their life, you sure were investing a lot of your free time into it. Maybe Minjeong had gotten into your head; unless you planned to divorce Eunseok (after the 5 year clause, per the contract), you were only going to get married once, so you should at least do it in your style.

Wonbin was right at your engagement party. You'd been planning your wedding since young. You knew exactly which flowers you wanted to adorn the aisle, which flavour of cake you wanted to eat, which song was going to play while you walked down the aisle, and whose eyes you wanted on you on the other side as you did. Eunseok had always been your dream man- he was your first crush, your first love and your first heartbreak all rolled up into one devastatingly handsome package. You imagined him in his crisp suit, laughing through his tears because you just looked so beautiful, and the thought of that takes you out of your fantasy and back into the room that was filled not with tears of happiness, but of silence.

You look down at the ring. The sun is hitting it perfectly, making the diamond shimmer in the beam. You slide it off and inspect the band for the first time, wondering what size he got since you didn't even know your size. Your heart stops when you first notice it. It's so small that if you blinked at that moment, you probably wouldn't have even noticed it and you would've lived the rest of your life not knowing it was there.

You run your nail against the engraving, your breath hitched as you read it.

To the one I'll always choose.

It's always been about choice. This whole time, it's been about your freedom to choose.

You and Eunseok weren't born with the privilege of choosing the one who was going to love you so hard that it would drive you crazy. You were instead born with a silver spoon in your mouth and a signed contract that because your family was going to have a girl first, that girl would be married to the Song's first born when the time came.

There was no question or argument about it. You grew up beside Eunseok knowing you were going to spend the rest of your life together, so you chose to learn everything about him. You chose to learn that he loved playing basketball with his friends and that he became silly and unserious when around them. You chose to learn that he doted on his much younger baby brother and that he would fight anyone and anything that could bring harm to him. You chose to learn that Eunseok had a soft heart that had its very own soft spot reserved just for you- one that grew bigger after your hatred for him did as well.

While you chose to hate Eunseok for rejecting you, he chose to stick by your side anyways. He chose to join you in Oxford, even if most of his friends went to America to study. He chose to live at the block just down the street from yours, so he could walk behind you to lectures and check that you were okay every day without overwhelming you. He chose to sleep on hard floors and wake up with kinks in his neck because he chose to sing you to sleep while you were drunk and then refused to leave to sleep in a nice bed so he could watch over you and protect you in your state. He chose to take on a job in New York for two years instead of joining his father's company straight out of business school so that you had someone to accompany you on your midnight walks through New York City. He chose to give you the choice to leave if marrying him was truly a burden you couldn't bear, because your happiness was the grand reward of the consequences that he would bear in your place.

When you chose to hate him, Eunseok let love grow in the emptiness that you left behind instead. He would choose you a million times over and over again until the day you'd finally see it. Your hatred for the situation stemmed from the fact that you thought your choices were stripped away in being arranged to marry. You wanted Eunseok to love you not because he had to, but because it was his choice to.

You were too blind by your rage to see that Eunseok had been choosing you over and over again not because of the arrangement, but in spite of it. That was the greatest love of them all.

-

On the next sunny day, Eunseok joins you on the bench in the middle of the rose garden. You'd been sketching up ideas on how you want the aisle to look like. You were thinking light flowers along the bottom with candles dispersed to illuminate it. In your dreams, you'd get married at sunset in a glass pavilion that could hold only your closest friends and families. As the sun started dipping, the candles would take over as the source of light and bathe everyone in a soft, golden glow. In your dreams, the light would reflect onto Eunseok's face, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and large, round eyes that were peering down into yours.

"What did you call me over for?" Eunseok sits on his hands and looks around. It's spring time and the garden is at its most vibrant and beautiful.

You hold out your hand in front of you, "I found the engraving on the ring."

Eunseok takes a sharp breath in, "Ah you did?"

"Did you not want me to see it?"

"I had just hoped that whenever you did see it, you would believe it," Eunseok whispered, "It's true, by the way."

"I know," your response has Eunseok turning his head so fast it almost gives him whiplash.

"You do?"

"Mhm. You chose to follow me around the world despite me hating you and you having to give up on your dream schools just so you could try to prove yourself to me. You chose to keep giving me gifts on birthdays when we were abroad since my family often couldn't make it. You always choose me. Why?"

"In part to make amends for the mistake I made when I was young pushing away your feelings like that without thought," Eunseok explained, "But for the most part because I care about you and I want to make the best of a bad situation we're in. I know that no one wants to be in an arranged marriage. I just wanted to show you that I could give you the life you wanted. That you could be happy with me."

Your heart aches at his words as you realise how truly misguided your perception of him was. You had thought that he was following you around to torment you and to remind you that you could never be free, but all this time, he was letting you live your dreams and staying by your side to show that he was supporting you.

"I've treated you so badly over the years and you still want to marry me?" you meet his eyes that have been trained on you since the moment he sat down.

Eunseok giggles and reaches up his warm palm to your cold face, "Hm, your words are harmless Y/N. You've shown your affection to me in other ways; I know you love me."

You roll your eyes and push his hand away, "In your dreams, Song."

"Mhm, actually in your dreams," Eunseok teases, "Considering you've been dreaming about marrying me for 10 years."

"And I don't know why. I must be sick in the head for that. Did you hit me in the head when we were young or something?" you retort, trying to move away from him.

Eunseok lets out a full-bodied laugh that sends butterflies through you instead of the burning rage that usually ensued whenever he was having fun in front of you. He stretched his arm around you behind the bench and pulled you closer to him, "Just admit it, Y/N. Everyone knows you've had a fat crush on me since we were teens and it's only ever grown. There's a very, very fine line between love and hate."

"I still hate you," you grumble, "This doesn't mean anything."

Eunseok drops his head down, pushing your head into his shoulder. Your first instinct is to recoil away and grimace, but Eunseok's grip on your shoulder is tight, so you try to relax in his hold.

"You'll always be my girl, Y/N. You just have to accept that."

You hum and watch the bees buzz around the rose garden, "I've always wanted the whole ordeal- the crushing, the pining, the courting, going on dates, having your firsts, moving in together, proposing how you want. I feel like that was taken away from me before I even knew what they were and even if we do those things, how would I know what's real and what's fake? What you're doing because of me and what you're doing because of the arrangement- that kind of stuff."

Eunseok's heartbeat is slow and strong, "The arrangement only brought us to each other. How can I make you believe that everything I do for you is because I want to?"

"How about we start with when you rejected me and left poor little 16 year old me heartbroken?"

Eunseok scoffs, "Y/N, I was stupid, okay? It was a mistake, I was young and I was too blind to see what was in front of me. You were still special to me back then and I have always cared for you, but I didn't know what I wanted back then. I grew up and haven't looked back since."

"And the girls you brought around at university?"

"Because you were demanding that I dated other people," Eunseok rolls his eyes, thinking about your past explosive arguments about relationships, "I just went on dates here and there, but never anything serious. I always let them know that I couldn't commit, but you know there was a line wrapping around Oxford wanting to date me."

You chuckle at that. Everyone was falling over their feet for the chance to get just a second of Song Eunseok's time, the same way he was doing to you. He was incredibly popular and girls would approach you to ask you to set them up, but you would always growl and send them on their way.

"You were only the most eligible bachelor because you're the son of the third richest family in Korea," you sneer, jokingly.

"And I'm handsome, charming, intelligent and kind," Eunseok lists off his traits on his fingers, "But everyone knows you've always had my heart."

"I don't know if I can believe that."

He shrugs simply beside you, "Doesn't matter. I can show you now."

"What?"

"We can date from now on. I'll show you how I feel. Then in one year's time, you'll be gladly getting married to me instead of having to be dragged up the aisle kicking and screaming by your family," he says it so casually that you question if the shocked reaction you're having is the abnormal one.

"Date?" you splutter out, completely bewildered, pulling away from him, "Us two? Now?"

"Why are you saying it like it's crazy? I basically just confessed to you," Eunseok crosses his arms in front of his chest and tilts his head in confusion, "Are you rejecting me? Is this payback?"

You wave your hand in dismissal, "Yah, you're really confusing me here, Eunseok. I don't know what I'm feeling right now."

He laughs again, and he's glad that he can finally laugh with you for the first time in years. He takes your hand between his and squeezes assuringly, "It's okay. We can figure it out together as we go. Just stay by my side, okay?"

You sigh into the breeze. The air was crisping up as the sky began to illuminate in visions of pink and purple. You look over at Eunseok and the reflection of the sun makes his eyes look iridescent. One thing you've always known about Eunseok is that with him, you felt safe, so you nod and squeeze his hand back, "Yeah."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

The first time you saw Eunseok again after your undergraduate graduation, it was in New York City at the end of summer.

You had spent the entire summer travelling nearly every country in Europe with your friends, while Eunseok was forced to come home and start learning how to actually work in his father's company before he started his role at the New York branch. You were glad to have this summer without him considering the two of you spent your summers together as children and as teens, your friendship groups overlapped so you also had to hang out with him.

There were endless boxes in your apartment since decorating your space was one of your life's great pleasures. The boxes were organised by room and had been shipped out from England at the start of the summer when you moved out. They'd been collecting dust, so all your windows were thrown open in the summer heat to air out the apartment and the dust. Of course you had AC, but there was something about the noise of the city traffic and the hustle and bustle travelling up to your apartment that made you feel like you were truly in the city.

The knock on your door made you groan instantly and you had to suppress the urge of banging your head into the coffee table you were decorating. You took small and slow steps to the front door, but the pattering on the door wasn't letting up.

"Already here to bother me on my first day? It's only been like 3 hours since I got off the plane," you sighed as you came face to face with your dreaded fiancé.

Eunseok rolled his eyes and pushed past your shoulders into your kitchen, "I know you missed me. I brought takeout since you probably haven't eaten and don't have any food yet." Eunseok held up a bag of his favourite Korean food in the city and placed it on your dining table, dishing out the styrofoam boxes.

He arrived in the city a week and a half before you did, moving into the apartment across the hall so he had been able to get himself settled into both his job and his city before you came to rain down terror on him.

"What makes you think I want to eat with you?"

"I bought it, so I'm gonna eat it. Up to you if you wanna starve or not," Eunseok shrugged, already making himself comfy in one of your expensive dining chairs. He took out some plastic cutlery from the bag and began to dig in to the beef bibimbap he had ordered for himself. There was another few boxes of food in the bag, all of which smelling amazing and instantly causing your stomach to grumble.

Sheepishly, you took the seat across from him and scavenged through the food. He had ordered you some tteokbokki and a stew with some rice. Either he knew you too well or it was a lucky guess. For the sake of your heart, you settled on the latter choice.

The two of you ate in silence for a while, not really looking up at each other and just staring passively at your food. Silence was few and far between when it came to you and Eunseok. It was always hushed arguing or full blown insulting between the two of you no matter where you went or how inappropriate it may have seemed to others. You were sure there were rumours that the two of you didn't always get on despite being photographed together so often, but your families' PR teams were experts in mangling all those 'rumours'. 

You broke the silence first, "How's the new job?"

The heir in front of you coughs and looks at you strangely, as if he couldn't believe you would ask him that, "It's... work. Not horrible and met a couple friendly colleagues. Having this job does make me feel so grown up and responsible, though," after the initial shock of you initiating a conversation, Eunseok began blabbering about his new position at his family's company.

"Well then hopefully it makes you more mature," you snide.

Eunseok scoffed, "Trust me, Y/N, when I say that I'm the more mature one out of us. You'll find out what I mean one day."

"If you were mature enough, you'd know to oppose this crazy marriage with me," you turned your head away from him, feeling the anger bubble up again.

"And it's because I'm mature enough that I'm not," he shrugged, "Unlike you, I don't think this marriage will be the worst thing that can happen to me."

"I'm honoured," you retorted, "I don't know why you think that when all I've done is make your life difficult. Why would you think I can't continue for the rest of our lives?"

He smiled coyly at you, pushing a drink that appeared in the bag towards you, "You'll get tired, sweetheart. Then you'll fall in love with me."

You feel sick at how he's all entirely wrong. Despite that, you appreciate how he's always able to diffuse any tension between the two of you even if his words are always cocky and arrogant. z

You don't say anything to him for a long while. When you finished up your food in silence, he packed everything anyway and placed it in the correct bins. Wordlessly, he began to unpack your boxes with you, unwrapping everything bubble wrapped and placing it on the kitchen counters for you to organise. You would have protested this act of service, but he's right- fighting him all the time does get tiring.

In this light from the living room as the sun setting made your apartment glow and burst with light, Eunseok looks radiant. You hope he can't see you admiring him from the next room. It's almost as if you're a normal couple, moving into their first home and starting their new life together. It's a melancholy sight as you ponder the what if's.

He breaks down all of your boxes flat, humming to himself a song that you think you've heard at the end of parties when you'd be sat on someone's bedroom floor just talking or playing cards half-drunk. Eunseok turned his head towards you and you whipped your head away so fast it hurts your neck.

"You still have this?" he held up a mug that instantly flashed you back to 6 years ago. The mug is majority a light pink and wonky in places since you made it yourself from clay. It was a few months process making and painting the mug, but when you were 15 with the biggest crush on him, having a mug brandishing "Y/N + EUNSEOK" on it made you feel giddy inside.

"All my other mugs broke," you lied through your teeth, snatching it from his grip and placing it in a random empty cupboard, "My mother packed it for me when I moved to Oxford."

"Mhm, okay," you could tell he was smirking but you made yourself busy with the plates, "I'm gonna take the boxes down to the recycling. Do you want any more help?"

"I've had enough of you for today," you breathed out. Too much time with him truly drove you crazy, "But thanks."

"Anytime, princess. I'm just across the hall if you need me and I'll get your number whenever you get it set up." he wiped his hands on his jeans and have you that charming smile that made you fall in the first place.

You see him out wordlessly. You don't argue when he turns up the next day demanding for your number in case you ever needed anything from him (or if he wanted to come and bother you). You feign annoyance when one morning he's insisting that he ran out of coffee in his apartment and wanted some of yours. You leave him in your apartment because you were running late to class, but when you get home, you open the cupboard and try not to fall all over again when you see a matching, much lumpier, handmade blue mug that brandished the words "TO FOREVER <3" on it next to yours.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

You're tossing and turning in your seat as Eunseok shakes you gently. He laughs when you groan under your breath as he wakes you up, "Sit up. We're landing soon."

The sleep you got on the flight was long, but you still woke up incredibly tired since you kept getting woken up for meals. You were grateful that you could fly first class with separate seats and beds, otherwise you'd be much more groggy than you already were.

Buckling yourself in the seat next to Eunseok's, you yawn, "Eunseok, what the fuck is an engagement trip?"

"A trip celebrating our engagement, duh," he looks at you like you're stupid, so you shove him as hard as your tired body could muster, "Like a honeymoon but before. Never too many excuses to take a vacation. Plus, we're going to be busy this trip."

You've never taken a vacation with just Eunseok before. Sure, you've lived in three different countries together outside of Korea and gone on a couple of vacations as children and with a large group of friends, but never just the two of you with a purpose.

"I don't understand why our wedding planner couldn't just pick a venue for herself and call it a day. Why must we go all the way to Italy and do it ourselves?" you're up to your neck in work, but you couldn't protest when you found a week blocked off in your calendar by your assistant, telling you it was 'orders from above' AKA your father.

"It was my idea," he confesses with a shrug, "Won't it be nice if we actually like where we're getting married? If we chose it ourselves because we can see ourselves getting married there?"

It feels like your heart is clenching at the insinuations behind his words. He wants to get involved with your wedding planning, like it's a real wedding. You sniff and turn away from him. It is a real wedding, you remind yourself. You were going to get married legally and this wedding was real, no matter the intention behind it. No matter if you loved or hated each other, it was a real wedding.

"Yeah. Everywhere in Italy is nice so at leadt it'll be a good trip," the past couple of months since you've been officially engaged to Eunseok, you've been attempting to be nicer and hold back your retorts. You've made an effort to argue less and he's been trying to get on your good side. You've both been busy with work considering the news of the merger brought a whole new wave of problems, so you've had no time to interrogate his profession to "date" you. Thank gosh, because your heart would not be able to take that.

The plane lands soon enough and before you know it, you're in a private car going to your hotel. You were staying in Milan, but driving around Lake Como and Tuscany to tour the list of potential venues that your wedding planner had come up with. You were definitely going to be exhausted by the end of it.

The drive was relatively silent, just listening to music and looking out of the window, but when you arrive at the hotel, Eunseok opens the car door for you and snakes his arm around your waist as you walk up to the front desk, "Hello. We're checking in to the penthouse suite. For Song?"

The hotel clerk smiles sweetly, handing over your keys swiftly, "All ready for you both, Mr Song. Congratulations on your engagement."

You're spluttering a thank you with flushed cheeks as Eunseok drags you over to the elevator, "You told them?"

"I just wanted the free champagne that I assume will be up there," he grins cheekily and you roll your eyes. As if he couldn't afford it.

You are however delighted to find a small cake beside the bucket of ice cold champagne and you dig into the red velvet goodness as you watch Eunseok open up your suitcases and hang your clothes up in the master bedroom wardrobe meticulously. You're halfway into the cake when he drags his suitcases out of the room.

"Wait, where are you going?" you frown.

Eunseok snickers, "To the other bedroom? Why? Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Oh. I just didn't know there were two rooms." you say sheepishly.

Eunseok stops in his tracks, hand on his suitcase loosening, "So you went into this trip okay with the thought of sleeping with me? If so, I'll stay here with you then."

"No!" you call out, "Just- just shut up and go."

The smirk on his face is smug as he nods and continues his leave, "Alright, sweetheart, but let me know if you get nightmares and want company."

You bear the butter knife at him and he laughs melodically on his way out. You pop the champagne yourself and drown a glass down, hoping you'd be able to make it out the trip unscathed. He's running into the room with a pout after hearing the loud pop of the corkscrew, so you pour the both of you a glass and you clink them together as you chugged them back.

The days pass by similarly. You wake up and have breakfast together before embarking on a sleepy drive to a venue. You have lunch in endless terraces and gardens under the sun, basking in the heat and evaluating the venue you saw that morning. You both ooh and ahh at different venues that all look the same before you find a flaw in it that stops you from making the decision to host one of the most important days of your lives there. Some are too big, some too small, too pretentious, not pretty enough, the flowers aren't the ones you envisioned, the location too secluded or not enough. You always agree on the flaws of the venues and it's the penultimate full day when you make it to the final venue on the list.

"If I don't like this venue then I'm not marrying you," you huff in the car as it pulls up the driveway.

"Who knew wedding venues were so complicated?" Eunseok exhales in frustration, "Should we just get married in Seoul?"

You puff out your lips, "Italy was always my dream, but I was naive to the process."

Eunseok smiles and takes your hand, "I have faith in this one. At least I hope." The commitment he has to giving you your dream wedding despite it all is unwavering.

When you enter the final venue, you think that maybe it was the last on the list for a reason, since you're blown away every step you take through the grounds. The hallways to the main room is ornate and delicate at the same time, with pretty floral paintings wrapping the walls and big windows letting in the golden light. The room where your reception could be held is stunning with murals all over the walls and a dome ceiling that compliments it perfectly. It's neither too big, nor too small and there's little nooks and crannies for guests to nestle themselves in. You could see yourself in the middle, slow dancing with your head on your husband's shoulder.

"This is nice," Eunseok awes, coming up behind you with the grounds manager, "Very pretty."

You nod in agreement and ask to see the gardens, since you always wanted to get married outside in the sun. The manager gushes over the outside while she leads you out and your heart is pounding in anticipation. Eunseok probably guessed how giddy you were, because he joins you by your side and gives you a hopeful look.

"We're here. Most brides start from here and have the aisle straight down to the arch."

She throws open the double doors and you gasp in admiration at the sight in front of you. The stairs going down to the garden seen steep, but grand. You envision that your father could probably help you hobble down to the garden, where it was staged as a wedding venue. There's chairs laid out in rows, decorated in tulle and bows with an aisle adorned in flowers. At the end of the garden, there's an arch with vines wrapped around it and flowers creeping up. From where you were standing, you could see that this garden was actually on a balcony overlooking a lake that seemed to be glowing and sparkling as the slight wind caused some ripples on the surface

"I'll give you two some time to explore?" she proposes, to which Eunseok nods and wraps his hand around your wrist, tugging you down the stairs.

"First impressions?" he's looking around with blown out pupils as the two of you reach the bottom of the stairs and the beginning of the aisle.

"I like this one a lot," you shyly admit, "It's exactly what I imagined."

"I love it as well. Why don't you walk down the aisle and see how you feel. Imagine yourself on the day," he's taking off in front of you, running swiftly to the arch before you could even take a breath and get a word out.

At his antics, you let out a full-belly laugh and straighten out the ivory dress you happened to be wearing. You look down at the slip dress hitting your ankles and think it might be fate you chose to wear this specific dress on this specific day. You look up and find Eunseok suddenly frozen still at the other end, hands intertwined in front of him and his eyes trained solely on you.

When he notices that you meet his eyes, he gives you a gentle smile as he mouths to you, "Come here."

It takes you a few breaths to actually muster up the courage to follow his direction. You think that walking down a straight path shouldn't be such a big deal, but the thought that this could be the very steps you take to marry the same man at the end in less than a year's time strikes your heart.

The aisle is a soft and smooth stone, perfect for walking on in high heels. It's wide enough that a wedding dress wouldn't drag along the sides and knock over the flowers and long enough for anticipation to build as Eunseok gazes down at you from afar.

"Y/N," Eunseok calls over.

You take the first step and your breath catches in your throat. All you can look at is Eunseok now, with his shirt unbuttoned at the first three to expose some chest and his hair falling over his eyes. He keeps fidgeting with his fingers, as if he couldn't stand still and his lips are puckering and stretching as if he had much more to say.

The second step is easier than the first and the third one even more so. By the fifth step, Eunseok is chewing on his bottom lip and you're ridden with anticipation to meet him at the end.

With each step you take down the aisle, you're flashed back to all the crucial moments in your life with Song Eunseok so far.

You were sandbox best friends. You learned to walk together, and then ride bikes with each other. You learned to swim in the same swimming pool that still remained in your garden. You learned to ski and snowboard with each other in the blustery mountains of the alps. You were each other's first heartbreaks when you were teens. You took your first alcoholic drink together with your friends by the Han river, faces flushed red and hearts beating out of your chests at the prospect of getting caught. You got blackout drunk together for the first time during your first week of university. You posed together as you threw your graduation caps up in the air at the end of the three years. You chased each other around New York City, running around in blocks after he snatched your phone from your grasp when you would ignore him. You begrudgingly invited him to ride swan paddle boats with you in every lake and river around the city since he was the only person that would drop everything for you at a moment's notice. You would leave containers of home cooked food outside his doors when you noticed he was getting swamped with work, knowing he had the tendency to either order too much unhealthy takeout or stop eating altogether when busy.

With every step you take to meet Eunseok at the bottom of the aisle, you accept that Eunseok has been with you for every step of your life.

He's an arm's length away when you notice his eyes are glossier than usual. Eunseok refuses to break the stare between the two of you as you arrive in front of him, exactly where you would stand under the arch if you got married at this very space.

"Are you crying?" you whisper, afraid of your own voice.

He chortles and dabs at his eyes, "It's just the wind."

"Mhm," you hum, fighting back the smile threatening to expose your emotions, "What do you think?"

Eunseok takes a bold step towards you and closes the gap between your bodies. He's closer than you've ever had him and you can nearly feel his breath on your skin. It's making you dizzy but all you can do is keep your eyes on him.

"Eunseok," you murmur in a hushed tone.

His head is drifting closer down to yours, forehead nearly touching. If you moved your face even just by a centimetre, your noses would bump and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop yourself.

"Let's get married here," Eunseok nudges his face forwards. You have to stop yourself from pulling back even with the drumming in your chest, "You're going to look so beautiful. You do already."

"I like this place. Our parents would like it here too."

Eunseok's eyes flutter shut as he sighs and shakes his head gently, "No, let's get married here because we want to, not because our parents would like it. Let's get married because we want to."

"Eunseok," his name falls out of your mouth like it's the most sacred word you can say.

His forehead is still pressed against yours, his eyes squeezed tight and his palm comes up to make home on your cheek, "I love you. I always have."

Sincerity drips from his words and you know that this time, it's the real thing. It's the words you'd been dying to hear him say sincerely for a decade. It's the words that underlined every fight and argument you've had as adults. He finally and bravely bares his heart to you for the first time, still considerate as he always had been by giving you the choice to determine what will end up of the two of you.

There's something different about his profession of love after all you'd experienced together. Back then, when you confessed that you liked him, the world would probably say it was just some puppy love- a silly high school crush. Something that would fizzle over and dissolve when you would experience the real hardships of life and what it could throw at you. You think that a late confession carries a profound and heartfelt meaning like no other.

"Seok-"

He cuts you off before you could finish, pulling away from you and causing you to open your eyes, "I don't need an answer yet, Y/N. I just need you to know that I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend, your husband, your partner- whatever you want me to be. I want to make you only happy from now on, instead of angry or resentful. I want to be by your side and keep following you around the world. I want everything with you."

You've never felt more sure of anything else in the world when you bounce up on your tiptoes and capture his face between your hands, pressing your lips against his. It feels like every nerve ending in your body is on fire, but at the same time feeling relief as if this was the one thing in the world that could finally relieve you from all the anger and bitterness you had been displaying and trying to internalise for all these years. Deep down, you could never ever hate Song Eunseok, the boy who has had your heart since you were just young.

He's rigid for a split second while he processes your own confession, but he quickly regains enough composure to part his lips and deepen the kiss, moulding your lips to each other's. It's unlike anything he's ever felt before and he finally understood the real pleasure of kissing someone you really love. As he runs his tongue along your bottom lip, Eunseok knows that he could do this for the rest of his life.

"Song Eunseok, I love you too," your eyes are glistening with adoration as you pull away from his kiss, "Let's get married?"

When he finally looks you in the eye at the moment you give yourself back to him, he can't help the tears that finally break free from their barrier. He's laughing as he finally pulls you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your body in desperation of keeping you close to him. You nuzzle deeper into him and he tucks his head into your neck. His body is shaking with the laughter of relief and his heartstrings tug when he feels his shirt dampening at the exact spot where your face laid.

"You're the one I'll always choose to love," he coo's into your ear words that travel straight into your heart, "For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours."

You look down at your hand and breathe deeply as the ring glistens on your finger. The Italian sun makes it shine bright as the symbol of your love. You start thinking of what you want to engrave on the inside of the ring that you want to get him. You start thinking of the dress and suit you'll be wearing at this very spot soon enough. You're dreaming of the house you move into together and of the company you'll spearhead by each other's side. You fantasise over your future kids- the kids you hope will have his eyes and your nose. You yearn for the life you know Eunseok will give you and your heart is finally at peace, knowing it will always be him.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

[quin-ns]

Assigned Seat (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Word count: 2.8K

Summary: JJ won’t sit in the correct seat because it’s not next to you

Tags: fluff, mutual crushes, lots of flirting, JJ being cute, slightly oblivious reader, getting together, everyone ships, just cute fun fr

A/N: binged obx and this is my first fic for it and of course I had to write for JJ- he’s my fave. also, it’s s2 when school starts but let’s say they know that john b is alive before the first day of class bc I don’t want this to be angsty lol

OBX masterlist + main masterlist

First day back in your first class of the day—Mr. Sunn’s history class—and you were greeted with a seating chart. Usually, you would just sit with your friends, but now you saw that Pope and Kiara weren’t in the same row like they usually would’ve been when you all shared a class. You didn’t even see JJ at all yet. You wondered if he’d show up. It was the one class that you actually had with him, so you hoped he would. Otherwise you wouldn’t see him until lunch break.

You found your seat with ease, but gave Kie a light frown when she turned around and saw you weren’t anywhere close to her or Pope.

About a minute before class was about to start, JJ walked through the door. He spotted you and grinned. He headed for the empty seat beside you and dropped down in it.

“Hey,” JJ greeted. “I was almost late but here I am.”

You laughed a little (mostly because of how proud he sounded). “Yeah, I see that.”

“So, what’s up?” he asked, side eyeing Kie and Pope. “Are we avoiding them for some reason or…?”

“What? No,” you replied quickly. “Appreciate that you were instantly on my side, though,” you said with an amused tone. 

JJ smiled at the comment. “I appreciate the appreciation.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled back nonetheless.

“If you two are done flirting, perhaps Mr. Maybank could move to his correct seat and we can get class started,” Mr. Sunn called out suddenly. You and JJ both were startled, realizing he was talking to you

JJ furrowed his brows. “Correct seat?” he whispered. “What is he talking about?”

“There’s a seating chart,” you muttered back, finally remembering.

“What?” JJ asked a little louder. “That’s lame,” he grumbled. 

“Well, tough,” Mr. Sunn replied, clearly having heard. “And according to my lame seating chart, you’re on the other side of the room.”

“It’s an empty seat,” JJ pointed out. 

“Actually, it’s Mr. Kane’s seat,” Mr. Sunn gestured towards a boy standing near you guys that you embarrassingly enough just now noticed. 

“Well, great, he can have my seat,” JJ suggested with that cheeky smile of his. 

Mr. Sunn looked from JJ to you. “You must be something special, Ms. Y/L/N. I’ve never had someone fight so hard to keep a seat.”

All you could do was laugh awkwardly, very aware of all the eyes on you. You gave JJ a look, asking for him to save you from being the center of attention on the first day. The only way he could was by relenting. 

With a sigh that you would deem dramatic, JJ stood and grabbed his backpack. Mr. Sunn held up the seating chart paper. Everyone watched as he went to the front of the class and glanced at the paper, and then found his actual seat on the opposite side of the room. 

“You can see your girlfriend after class,” Mr. Sunn commented in response to your friend losing the argument.

You weren’t his girlfriend, but neither you or JJ corrected him. You didn’t because frankly, you’d gotten your fill of attention. You weren’t sure why JJ didn’t, though. 

Besides, you weren’t totally against people thinking that. It was still weird having a teacher call you out like that, though.

The kid who had been waiting for JJ to vacate his seat gave you an apologetic look before turning his attention to pulling out a notebook.

You made eye contact with JJ across the classroom and he winked.

“Now that everyone is in their correct seat,” Mr. Sunn announced. “We can get started with class.”

Everyone turned to focus on Mr. Sunn going over the first day syllabus, except for Kie. You caught her looking at you and you met her eyes. She raised her brows as if to ask, “what was that?”

You shrugged, telling her that you didn’t know. It was true, you didn’t. 

After class, no one brought it up so you didn’t say anything about it either. You all went about your day and soon, the whole seat incident left your mind.

The next day you were reminded of it.

You arrived to history with Pope, chatting about the syllabus and what supplies you still needed to get. Kie was already in class. You said hi and then bye and headed to your seat. JJ was the last to show up, cutting it close again. You gave him a small wave, assuming you weren’t going to get to talk to him until after class.

Except, he walked right up to you and sat down next to you. 

You raised your brows at him. “What are you doing?”

“Well, hello to you too,” JJ acknowledged with a light chuckle. 

“He’s gonna tell you to move again,” you predicted. 

JJ shrugged it off. “Like some seating chart is gonna keep me away from my favorite girl,” he retorted in a playful tone. 

You smiled, ready to go along with his flirting. “Favorite, huh?”

He put his elbow on his desk and leaned on his hand. “What, you didn’t know that? I coulda swore I made it obvious.”

You hummed, ready to hit back with a sly comment. Until you were interrupted.

“Is this going to become a daily occurrence?” Mr. Sunn’s voice tore you and JJ away from the gaze you held. You both looked to the front of the class, where he stood watching you two. “I believe you know your correct seat, Mr. Maybank.”

“I forgot, actually,” JJ lied easily. “I’m pretty comfortable here, though.”

Mr. Sunn rolled his eyes and held back any indication that he found the situation as funny as you did. “I can’t have my students revolting,” he decided. He pointed to JJ’s assigned seat, waiting for him to move.

“It’s only 45 minutes, JJ,” you told him. “I think you can survive.”

“Fine, fine,” he told you and Mr. Sunn. He got up and moved to his seat. The boy that sat next to you came out of nowhere and took the seat. 

After class, you met up with your friends. You were about to walk with JJ to the hall where both your next classes were, but Kie decided something different.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” she announced. “Y/N- come with me?”

Except you didn’t really feel like she was asking. 

“Um, sure,” you agreed and headed off with her in the other direction of the boys.

“Why do girls always do that?” JJ wondered, watching as the two of you turned a corner.

“Girls just do that,” Pope explained. “This time they’re going to talk about you, dude. For sure.”

“About me?” JJ furrowed his brows. “What about me?”

“About how you like Y/N and that it’s totally obvious now. To everyone.” 

JJ just shrugged. He thought everyone already knew. The only person he really wanted to know was you, but you never seemed to think he was serious. You always flirted back and that was fun, but maybe he had to up his game.

Oddly, no one brought up the seat incident yet again as a group. Kiara and Pope did observe you and JJ closer, but even if the flirting was a little more obvious, it didn’t go beyond that.

Next day in history, it was a repeat of the previous days.

“I’m starting to think you like me,” you joked to JJ when he sat down beside you.

“It took you this long?” he responded teasingly. You tried to not read into it, not wanting to get your hopes up. Not realizing that he was hoping you would read into it.

Mr. Sunn looked up from his desk when the bell for class to start rang. Immediately, as if in a force of habit, his eyes landed on you and JJ. Once again he would have to start the class period by telling JJ to move.

“You must have amnesia,” Mr. Sunn directed towards JJ. Everyone knew that, he didn’t have to say his name.

You and JJ exchanged a look and a small laugh. You’d gotten over any level of embarrassment that came from people chuckling and eyeing you and JJ. 

“Can’t you just make an exception?” JJ asked. He was bargaining but didn’t have anything to offer.

Kie threw a smirk over her shoulder at you, but you avoided eye contact. 

Yesterday she had spent the “bathroom” trip convincing you that JJ really did like you—as more than just a friend. She knew you liked him, but also knew you were avoiding telling JJ. You didn’t want to mess with your friendship by making what you had always assumed was just friendly banter into something awkward and feeling like an idiot for thinking it was some kind of signal if it wasn’t. 

If she hadn’t sworn to JJ that she wouldn’t tell you how he felt, she would have cleared it up yesterday. But of course you didn’t know that.

Mr. Sunn’s lips pulled into a tight line. You couldn’t tell if he was genuinely annoyed or amused. “If you’re next to her, how can I expect you to pay attention in class?” 

At that, the whole class chuckled. Even you. At least Mr. Sunn had a good sense of humor.

JJ blushed a little at that. You hadn’t seen him flustered like this in… well, it had been a long time. He couldn’t think of a comeback as quickly as he usually did. Too many seconds passed for him to recover, so he had no choice. 

JJ grabbed his backpack. “I’ll see you after class,” he promised. 

“You always do,” you replied just loud enough for him to hear as he stood. He shot you a smile before walking over to his assigned seat.

Class moved slowly, although at least the subject was mildly interesting compared to your other ones this semester.

When the bell rang, you waited for your friends and you all walked out of class together. 

“JJ, are you trying to get in trouble?” Pope asked, almost accusingly.

JJ scoffed out a laugh. “Don’t be dramatic, I’m not gonna get in trouble over a seat.”

“Interesting that you keep going for a seat that’s right next to Y/N,” Kiara mused in a knowing tone.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop,” you told her, but not in a serious way. You and JJ flirted but you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable by her comments, implying that there was more.

Turns out it was the opposite. You didn’t see the way JJ looked at you. You were focused on the eye roll Kie gave before saying bye and heading to her next class. Pope followed suit, leaving you and JJ to walk to your next classes together.

“Y’know, if Kie wants to think… that,” JJ started, referencing her very obvious implication. “Or if anyone else does… I wouldn’t mind.”

You stared up at him, a bit taken aback. You and JJ had always been close and flirted, and even though you had a crush on him and all your friends were convinced he had a crush on you, neither of you brought it up or confronted it. JJ was taking the first step.

“I wouldn’t mind either,” you admitted, smiling lightly. 

JJ looked surprised, then relieved. “Really?”

You only let out a small laugh, “I’ll see you later,” you told him. You were about to walk to your class further down the hall, but stuck around for a moment longer. “Tomorrow, just sit in your seat,” you suggested. “Mr. Sunn is a chill guy but it’s gonna be a long year if we start off annoying him.”

“We’re not annoying,” JJ faked offense. “But yeah, alright,” he relented. “I guess I’ll just have to stare longing across the class,” he teased.

Your smile grew. “Yeah, I guess so,” you replied smoothly. Then, you walked away towards your class.

“We’re still meeting up with Pope and Kie later, right?” JJ called after you.

“Yeah,” you called back, not looking over your shoulder.

You hung out with your friends later and gone about your day. You and JJ of course flirted, but nothing more than usual. Pope didn’t bring it up again and Kiara just shot you knowing smirks. 

Next day in Mr. Sunn’s class, much to your surprise, when JJ walked into class he gave you a light wave and continued on to his assigned seat. He was following your advice, which was a hard thing to get JJ to do. You looked over and realized he was standing near where his seat was. 

And that someone was already in it.

The guy who was supposed to sit by you was in JJ’s seat. Meaning there was an empty seat right beside you.

JJ looked over his shoulder at you and grinned. He waltzed over, suddenly in a much better mood.

“Is this seat taken?” he asked you cheekily.

You looked past him to see the guy in JJ’s seat. He gave you a shrug and a look that said, “you’re welcome.” You almost laughed. 

“I guess not,” you answered JJ, looking back at him with a smile of your own.

He sat down in the seat, victorious. 

Mr. Sunn walked in when class started and went to the board.

“I see my words mean nothing to you, Mr. Maybank,” Mr. Sunn said, spotting JJ.

A smirk crossed your friend's face. “Actually,” he started, perking up. “My seat was taken.” 

Mr. Sunn looked at JJ's actual seat and sighed. The kid looked a little guilty but didn’t say anything. He looked back at JJ. “Fine, you win,” he decided. Then, he began to write on the board. 

After class, you and JJ parted from Kie and Pope to walk together to your next class. 

“I can’t believe he finally gave in,” you said with a laugh.

“I can be persuasive,” JJ replied smoothly.

You let out another laugh. “That was not persuasive. That was…I don’t know what that was,” you admitted.

“Fine, but I got what I wanted,” JJ revealed. It was no surprise, but there was something underlying in his tone. 

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” you held your hands up in surrender. The two of you stopped outside of your class and faced one another.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “I would hope not.” 

“I’ll see you later,” you told him. “Don’t miss me too much,” you decided to add on. 

“Oh, baby, I always do,” he played along casually. 

Your face felt warm at the nickname, but you didn’t say anything more. When you all hung out later, the interaction played through your mind.

You were too distracted to realize JJ was staring at you all night—or at least that’s what Kie had told you later.

The next day in Mr. Sunn’s class, JJ was there before you. You couldn’t remember the last time he was ever in a class before you. You walked to your seat and he smiled up at you.

“Hi there,” you greeted, sitting down beside JJ. “For once you actually came to class early,” you pointed out. 

“Well, I had a reason to,” JJ replied with a smile. “I wanted to ask you something.”

You chuckled, thinking of a joke. “Do you need an alibi?”

“Ha ha,” he said sarcastically. “I’m serious though.” Your expression turned confused. “Not like, serious serious. Don’t look so worried.”

“Alright, what is it?” 

“After school today would you wanna hang out? Just me and you?” JJ asked with a hint of nervousness.

“We hang out all the time,” you started knowingly. “So if you’re asking…” you mused, suppressing a smile (you were having a hard time with that, though). “Is this you asking me on a date, JJ?” 

“Maybe,” JJ said with a tad of nervousness. “Would you want to?”

“Yeah,” you answered without hesitation. You could’ve held out longer and maybe messed with a little, but you decided against that.

JJ looked pleasantly surprised. “Really?”

In your head, you were beaming with excitement. Out loud you confirmed, “it’s a date.”

“Don’t let me interrupt,” Mr. Sunn called to you and JJ, interrupting. “But since it seems important, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind sharing with the class.”

“Well, I’ve got a date later, so that’s pretty great,” JJ practically bragged, not missing a beat. “As for how that goes, I don’t kiss and tell.” 

JJ shot you a wink after that, Kie and Pope looked over their shoulders so fast you thought their heads were gonna spin, and Mr. Sunn actually looked impressed.

“About time,” someone in the class spoke up. It was an unfamiliar voice. When you located the source, you found it was the boy in JJ’s old seat.

And what did you do? Well, all you could do was let out a laugh and share a smile with JJ.

You had a feeling this class was going to be much more fun now—although, maybe not as much fun as your date with JJ.

[garoujo]

hiiiii !!! what are your thoughts on reader bumping into ex!gojo at a party, after not having seen him for years? his unboxing has taken a toll on me i’m patiently waiting for anyone to write fics for him 🤸🏻‍♀️

✩ ˛˚ . GOJO SATORU — you don’t realise how much your heart still calls for your ex until you see him again, years later.

ஜ ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ contents! sort of angsty but mostly fluff! ex!boyfie gojo, ex’s to lovers sort of vibe, very much right person wrong time ♡ ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ note! i’m so sorry this took me so long to get to nonnie, i’m also sorry this turned out sad snifle! i wrote it to this song so i blame that! i’m sorry i just had to post for him tonite!

maybe you should’ve just stayed at home, you think despite the way you know you don’t mean it, as you let the drink in your hand swirl around it’s cup a few more minutes longer. it’s lost its bubbles slightly, it’s leaning more towards an hour old— still untouched as you lean yourself against the kitchen counter while your friends catch up around you.

it’s been a while since you’ve seen everyone like this, a few years atleast you’d assume and it was fun, recalling back the memories— the drunken nights and the time you spent together, the seasons you experienced. there’s a sentimental sort of feeling to it all, you realise.

everyone’s different now, not only in looks— in spirit maybe, married and settled down, running their own business or jet setting abroad. your childhood bestfriend is taller, she smiles softer now— maybe it’s the ring on her finger or the love in her life. it suits her.

“hey! you still with us?” she calls to you, just as you hear the apartment door close again— alerting you to more guests despite the way there’s probably around fifteen of you here already. you jolt slightly, sending her a smile before you’re placing down your glass and excusing yourself to the bathroom.

you allow yourself a few breaths to relax before you smile at yourself in the mirror, it’s nice being able to see everyone again— not realising how much you’d missed them and suddenly you realise that you’re so happy to have lived.

you pat yourself on the cheeks as you give yourself a silent little nod, soft sort of smile in place as you push your way through the bathroom door again— maybe a little too determined to seize the night when you send yourself into a hard chest as you clumsily leave the room.

“ah! sorry, are you okay?” you begin as you try to steady yourself but there’s hands there to keep you from falling before you even realise you’re on your way down.

“oh? it’s been so long you’re jumping into my arms already?” familiar, you think as the teasing response sounds smoothly and you can’t help the way your body seems to stiffen at the sound— like instinct. you look up and there’s a warm sort of squeeze on your heart at the crystalline gaze that looks back, cheeky grin in place.

you should’ve expected to see him here after all, gojo satoru had always been a constant in your past, up until a few years ago. he was your now ex-boyfriend after all.

he always had this air that seemed to follow him around — this noble sort of presence but he was even more handsome now, unfortunately. he’d grown a little more in height but he filled it out better now. his hair is longer but his gaze is just as pretty, as breathtaking when it meets yours.

you’re pretty sure if this were a movie there’d be a trail of women at gojo’s feet — back of their hand against their forehead and fawning for his attention.

you can still recall the nights you cried on your kitchen floor for him.

“hey, after all these years, you’re getting shy on me?” you didn’t realise you’d zoned out until you blink up to see gojo looking at you, teasing tone and his long fingers flicking gently at your forehead until you’re sending him a cute frown. he remembers that look all too well.

“no, shutup! i just didnt expect to see you.” you fall back into the dynamic quickly, like he’d never left— both of you parted ways gradually you think. it’s not that the love wasn’t there, but you just felt like your life had taken you down separate paths.

gojo satoru was your right person, wrong time is what you’d tell strangers at parties.

“are you sure? it seems you had an attack planned for my arrival, pretty suspicious i’d say.” he goads, teasing you again and you roll your eyes before you’re shoving playfully at his chest.

“you’re still so annoying.”

“hm? are you just embarrassed i figured you out? did you really think you could catch me off guard with a move like that?” you wish you could say you hate gojo, truly. but it’s been years and instead you realise that it’s quite the opposite, because he’s already got you laughing like you’re both teenagers again.

sometimes you wish you’d known him sooner, even just so you could love him longer than you can now.

“yeah right, i could totally beat you if i tried.” you laugh again, teasing as a cheeky grin settles on your expression and gojo squeezes at your shoulder playfully before you’re both finding yourself returning to the group. but the laughter doesn’t falter.

“you want a beer, satoru?” your friend asks as you both enter the lounge and you cast the snowy haired man to your right a glance before he answers. he won’t take one, he never was a drinker.

“nah, aren’t i fun enough already? it wouldn’t be fair.” he jokes, you all laugh. like old times.

the night continues and you catch yourself looking in your ex boyfriends.. in gojo’s direction a little more frequently than you’d like to admit. but you’re having fun, you realise as you all exchange jokes— even going as far as to pull up videos from your old phones, little vlogs from your days at the beach, shopping trips and more.

you breathe again, nestling back into your place on the couch as the rest of your friends get up to dance to one of your old playlists from a few years ago. you remember it well, like the soundtrack to some coming of age movie.

you allow yourself to look at him once more, to take in the cut of his features— the way his lips still upturn at the corners when he grins and the way he still talks with his hands. you think it’s cute that he still wears his hair down, still doesn’t do the top button of his shirts— you wonder if he still takes four sugars in his coffee.

you feel something twist in your chest with the thought before you look away again. you think it’s embarrassing in a way, the way you’re wanting must show when you look at him. maybe it’s because you already know the feel of his hand on yours or the soft voice he’d always use to call you out of sleep, the taste of his coffee on his lips when he’d kiss you as the sun woke up.

you liked the now, but then you remember how gojo satoru loved you and it’s like you’re aching all over again.

you breathe deep before the couch cushion to your left sinks as someone sits down and you know it’s him when it grounds you.

“you’re not dancing, gojo?” you begin before he can say anything, giggle despite the turmoil in your mind, your heart, and he sends you a soft sort of look before he chuckles.

“oh no, after all those times you told me i was a terrible dancer? it broke my heart so much, i’ll never dance again.” still a drama queen, you think to yourself as you watch him press his palm to his chest — throwing his head back against the back of the couch as he sighs.

“yeah right, you had a great dance partner to level you out back then though.” gojo laughs at that one, nudging his thigh into yours slightly when he does, but neither of you seem to pull away at the touch.

he settles down and you let the silence hang in the space where you both take a breath before he speaks again,

“satoru is fine, you know. i was always satoru to you, no?” gojo questions gently, although still trying to make it more lighthearted than awkward, and you feel the tension leave your shoulders when you exhale.

“okay then, satoru.” comes more naturally than you’d like to admit, but you’re not ashamed of it either when you notice the soft sort of glow in gojo’s eyes when you speak it with fondness.

he looks at you, nods like he’s smug, then pushes himself up to stand. emphasising how tall he is as he sends you a cheeky sort of grin, followed by his arm outstretching to offer you his hand.

“well oh great dance partner, i may need your expertise. you wouldn’t want me to embarrass my handsome self infront of all our old friends, would you?” gojo whines playfully as he bows towards you, free hand on his heart like he’s begging you for his life.. just his pride this time though.

“‘toru..” you begin, a soft sort of breathe and you wonder if he can hear the hope in it— your own hand twitching by your side.

“come on, for old times sake. you said it yourself, i cant dance without my partner there to lead me, right?” gojo satoru had always been terribly convincing, you realise as you recall all the other moments he’d whisked you off into other great things. memories that you still look fondly back on now.

“fine, for old times sake, satoru.” you finally answer before your hand is resting on his, noticing that is palm still feels warm when he pulls you to your feet.

for the love that once was, and the love that remains. 

© 2023 GAROUJO. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

[eph3merall]

## eph3merall archives 01 — eph's sturniolo masterlist

matthew sturniolo ᨳଓ

꩜ full fics

꩜ blurbs

whats wrong ? — [ toxic!matt , fluff/light angst ]

fuck u and ur bf — [ toxic!matt , suggestive ]

stalker!matt — [ smut ]

head on stream — pt. 2 — [ smut ]

gamer!matt x sleepy!reader — [ smut ]

like a puppy. — [ toxic!matt , angst ]

📸 — [ stalker!matt , smut ]

anything — [ smut , edging - for those who dont like it ]

late nights — [ gamer!matt x sleepy!reader , smut ]

cheat — [ "cheater!"reader , angst ]

not good for u — [ mean!matt + toxic!ex!matt , suggestive + slapping ]

dry humping n lazy makeouts. — [ smut / suggestive ]

brat — [ slightly mean!matt , smut / suggestive ]

cheese! — [ smut ]

intro ,, artist!matt x muse!writer!reader — [ no warnings :) ]

꩜ other

toxicex!matt hcs — [ suggestive, a lil fluff ]

gamer!matt x sleepy!reader moodboard

christopher sturniolo ᨳଓ

꩜ full fics

꩜ blurbs

let me make it all better... — [ toxic!chris , smut/light angst ]

other girls and empty promises. — pt. 2 ; pinkie promise — [ toxic!chris , angst , suggestive ]

hotel - montell fish — [ dealer!chris , smut, drug mentions ]

kiss land - the weeknd — [tour!chris basically , smut , drug mentions ]

reminded me of u — [ dealer!chris x innocent!bff!reader , mostly fluff + TINY angst if you squint really hard ]

on the phone — [ dealer!chris x innocent!bff!reader , fluff + kinda angst but not ]

"y'got me" — [ loser!reader x fratboy!chris , angst , fluff , smut at the end ]

party — [ dealer!chris x innocent!bff!reader , angst ]

first time — [ dealer!chris x innocent!bff!reader , smut (virginity loss) ]

in my head - ariana grande — [ dealer!chris x doll!reader , angst , drug usage ]

thinkin bout u — [ dealer!chris x innocent!bff!reader , smut ]

jealousy, jealousy — [ fratboy!chris x loser!reader , angst + suggestive ]

hurtful words — [ dealer!chris x innocent!bff!reader , angst + a little fluff i guess ]

not ur fault — [ fratboy!chris x loser!reader , angst ]

jealous, jealous, jealous boy — [ dealer!chris x innocent!bff!reader , angsty suggestive kinda .. ]

late night smoke n talk — [ fratboy!chris x loser!reader , angst + maybe a lil fluff ]

nightmares — [ pure fluff ]

busy mind — [ fluff ]

hes gone, dude — [ angst, no reader, triplet death (matt) ]

꩜ other

fratboy!chris x shy!reader hcs — [ fluff, suggestive, light angst if you squint hard enough ]

dealer!chris x innocent!bff!reader hcs — [ angst , fluff , suggestive ]

extra/misc ᨳଓ

꩜ could be things including both matt n chris, random lil thoughts.. yeah !

fratboy!chris + fratboy!matt moodboard — [ duo from @/sturnioz ! check her stuff out <3 ]

loser!reader headcanons — [ one of my reader au's. paired best with my fratboy!chris <3 ]