#only for the solution to be the simplest thing

[endemise]

i was struggling with coding an if statement that toggles a setting & couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working all to realize i put quotations marks around the variable (“$variable” instead of $variable)

anyways it works now

[headspace-hotel]

I agree with the idea that a lot of humans nowadays have a severe lack of curiosity about the world, but I think there has to be a solution other than shame.

I think about this every day because the fate of our world hangs on curiosity: either we will rediscover the importance and wonders of the soil and bugs and flowers and water and finally with the whole natural world, or this way will be forgotten.

People raised in the great wasteland of the suburbs and roads and buildings have never seen most of the plants and creatures that are supposed to fill every field and meadow. So many humans have never seen with their own eyes more than a scant few of the most common of hundreds of wildflowers that are supposed to surround them. Some live in biomes designated forest and have never witnessed truly mature trees. They do not know what the birds sound like. When they see an ordinary deer, they are awed and amazed by it or even afraid of it. They have never eaten any of the delicious wild fruits that grow in their homeland; all birds except starlings and robins and sparrows are so strange and beautiful that they stare in wonder. They confront insects like people on an alien planet encountering an unknown life form: What is this? Will it hurt me?

I cannot even describe the grief I feel on behalf of humans that grow up and live in the wasteland of pavement and lawn. That we are expected to live in these brutal environments, that we are expected to be content without the right or ability to live alongside living creatures, to walk among wildflowers, to hear birdsong, to feel the plush softness of moss, to see even common bees and butterflies—the fact that we live, work, and raise our children in poisonous wastes where nearly everything has been wiped out, and the simplest and most abundant of natural pleasures are rare privileges—it's cruel. It's a crime against the human spirit. It makes me so angry and sad.

When I started researching plants, I had no idea that I would end up expanding my mind so much that I would be virtually a different person within the year. Before I learned, I could not have imagined the diversity and beauty that exists in the world. My mind did not have the tools to come up with it.

I lived for over twenty years believing that there was only one species of firefly. I lived for over twenty years not knowing that the Southeastern US has native bamboo. I had never tasted the indescribable flavor of a pawpaw or seen the iridescent vibrance of a red-spotted purple butterfly. I had only seen a Pileated Woodpecker out the window of a car. I had never touched true topsoil, the soft, living blanket of rich, sweet-smelling earth full of mycelium, as springy and plush as a mattress. Just one year ago, I knew nothing!

Humans, as creatures, are insatiably curious and hunger for beauty. It is so cruel to deprive a human of relationship with their natural environment.

It is no wonder that we are all addicted to the internet—we have a crucial need that is unfulfilled. Compared with a forest, the world of lawns and buildings is so ridiculously flat and unstimulating. You would expect humans in such a place to feel constantly bored, restless, frustrated, and incurably sad.

I feel that lack of curiosity can be a chosen thing, but it is also a defense mechanism against a world that will feel like sandpaper on the senses of the curious.

But we need curiosity to fix this—we need the ability to notice the living things that have crept in at the edges of the wasteland and be infected and tormented by their beauty. We need to recognize the forest reaching into our cage in the form of tiny saplings. We need to discard the word "weed," not because it is derogatory because it is fundamentally incurious—it designates a plant as needing no identity outside of its unwantedness. We must learn their names. We must wonder what their names are.

[emberuby]

you deserve better | l.hs

pairing: lee heeseung x fem! reader

summary: heeseung overhears you crying about your asshole of a boyfriend. he'd do anything to show you how much better you deserve.

warnings: best friend's brother! heeseung, age gap (hee is 3 years older), mentions of body shaming, heavy insecurity, toxic ex, infidelity but it's deserved, soft dom! heesung, simp heesung, sub! reader, thigh riding, oral (f receiving), vaginal sex, missionary, creampie, sort of angst?, hurt comfort, not proofread.

wc: 4.7k

“Stop being such a pussy and break up with him already,” Sunoo groaned, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. Hojung slapped him on the shoulder and glared fiercely. She felt a surge of frustration on your behalf at Sunoo's nonchalant attitude.

“Sunoo! That’s not helping,” Hojung snarled, her eyes filled with annoyance as she looked at him, but they softened when she turned back to you.

You looked utterly miserable, eyes red and puffy from crying. Your hair was a mess, and your mascara was smeared in blotchy streaks across your cheeks from constantly rubbing your face.

You had recently discovered that your boyfriend of six months was growing bored of your relationship, especially your sex life. You knew it was a trivial thing to cry over, and Sunoo was right. Breaking up with him would be the simplest solution to end this cycle of misery.

“Come on, I'm just being real. He’s clearly not worth it. He humiliates you in front of his friends, sexualises you in front of them, mocks your weight, and can’t even make you orgasm but has the audacity to say the sex is boring? Hojung, why haven’t we kicked his ass yet?” Sunoo folded his arms across his chest and scowled, imagining the worst possible things happening to your boyfriend.

Hojung looked deflated as she slowly nodded, agreeing with everything Sunoo said. She grabbed your hand softly and looked at you with pure sympathy. “Y/N, I hate seeing you like this. Why are you still with him?”

You hiccuped, feeling on the verge of tears again at her worried tone. Despite hating to burden your best friends with your problems, they had been persistent in getting you to open up about what had been happening since they noticed your change in demeanour over the past few weeks.

You had been unusually quiet and dejected, often barricading yourself in your room. Sunoo and Hojung decided to hold an intervention, and now here you were, tipsy off a few seltzers, spilling everything that had been plaguing your relationship onto them. At first, they were angry with you for not telling them sooner, but now their focus was solely on your cunt of a boyfriend.

“I don’t know,” you sniffed, “I have no idea why I’m still with a man who makes me so utterly insecure. I guess I think…I won’t be able to find someone if I were to leave him. I’ve never had guys go after me so a small part of me thinks I should just deal with this because what other choice do I have?” You knew you sounded pathetic, but at this point, you couldn’t care less. 

“Is that what he told you?” Sunoo asked, now matching Hojung’s level of rage.

You stayed silent, but the answer was yes. Your boyfriend always told you how lucky you were to be in a relationship with him given how dull and flawed you were. Before this relationship, you couldn’t remember having this many confidence issues, but ever since he came into your life, you can’t help but believe his words. Maybe you were so undesirable that this is your one and only chance for a relationship. 

“Snap out of it, Y/N! None of what you said was true. You are beautiful and so incredible." Hojung furrowed her eyebrow and drunkenly yelled, “I will kill that bastard for making you feel this way, I swear!”

“Oh! But if I said that, you’d call me all sorts of dramatic,” Sunoo scoffed.

“Yeah, because you would actually mean it,” Hojung retorted, snapping her fingers in front of Sunni’s face. It made you flashback to your early high school days when Sunoo would go after boys who teased you, usually by physically confronting them in the courtyard.

“I…You’re right. Both of you. I will break up with him, soon. I just hope I’m not such a coward that I chicken out like last time,” you used the ends of your sweater to wipe the tears away from your eyes, not caring anymore about the mascara stains that were being left on the fabric.

“You’re telling me you tried to break up with him before and didn’t follow through?” Hojung gasped. 

Before you could answer, you heard footsteps approaching. Turning around, you saw Lee Heeseung, Hojung’s older brother. Despite knowing he was off-limits, you couldn’t help but get nervous and infatuated every time he was around. Ever since you met him at thirteen, you’ve had a crush on him that was all too obvious to Hojung, not that she ever commented on it.

Perhaps it was slightly more than a tiny crush, but either way, you knew your place and never sought after him. Even if he wasn’t your best friend’s older brother, you knew he was way above your league. He carried himself with a confidence and beauty you could only dream of possessing.

It had been a year since you’d last seen Heeseung. He went off to a university in Europe but came back periodically to visit his family. Now that he was almost graduating and had more free time, he decided to come home for a few months and was staying at your and Hojung’s apartment for the week to catch up with his baby sister. 

Hojung snapped her head up at him, furrowing her eyebrows. “Heeseung! What do you need? We’re having a private conversation,” she scolded. 

Heeseung came up behind her to ruffle her hair, much to her annoyance. “You need to watch how much you drink,” he said sternly. 

“Ugh, I didn’t drink that much. I’m fine. Now go away!” She slurred.

“Fine!” Heeseung raised his arms slightly in surrender, “I just came to get some water.”

Heeseung looked down into your eyes, mesmerising you. You held eye contact for a moment before you got too nervous and tried to find anywhere else to look. Although his stare was rather intense and mostly unreadable, there was a hint of concern etched on his expression. “You okay?” He asked.

You nodded meekly, face heating up at the embarrassment of him having to see you in this state—a crying and babbling mess over a boyfriend who clearly wasn’t worth your tears. You tried to lower your gaze so it wouldn’t be so obvious to him, but it was mostly useless.

Heeseung walked over to the fridge and took out four water bottles. When he came back to the table, you felt him behind you, and the heat emanating off his body was all too noticeable. Your breathing became irregular as he leaned over from behind you to place the water bottles on the table. 

Hojung took a swig of water and suddenly tumbled out of her seat, running towards the kitchen to empty the contents of her stomach into the sink. You stood up to hold her hair back, followed by a worried but calm Heeseung. 

“How much did she drink?” Heeseung asked.

You kept your mouth shut, but Sunoo didn’t seem to have a problem with tattling as he said, “A few seltzers, a bottle of soju, three shots of tequila,” he grabbed a can from Hojung’s side of the table and inspected it, “And a beer?”

“Fucking hell,” you heard Heeseung murmur under his breath. “Hojung, what is your problem? You know you’re a lightweight.”

Hojung just groaned back, too dishevelled to say anything. You placed your palm on her forehead and felt it burn. 

“Alright, that’s enough, let’s wrap it up. Hojung, go to bed,” Heeseung scolded. 

“Sunoo, I’ll call you an Uber and—,” you started.

“No, he can stay and sleep on the couch, it’s too late. All of you go clean yourselves up and go to sleep,” Heeseung instructed, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Heeseung and Sunoo led Hojung back to her room, holding onto her by the shoulders.  

You were sitting alone at the table now, scattered with empty cans of cheap alcohol and glass bottles of half-empty liquor. It was half past midnight, and although you desperately wanted to sleep, your mind was still plagued with the thoughts of how you were going to break up with the man who was poisoning your life.

You hadn’t even realised that Heeseung sat across from you until you felt him grab the drink can from your hand. He looked over to you disapprovingly, but also worried. 

“Hojung and Sunoo both went to bed, you should too,” he said quietly. His voice was so soft and soothing that it did make you want to fall asleep to the sound of it.

“I don’t think I can.”

Heeseung had heard everything you said, and he was doing a rather good job at hiding just how enraged he was at your scum of a boyfriend. Not to mention how angry he was at the words you said about yourself. It made him want to grab you by the shoulders and tell you in detail just how gorgeous and desirable you were, right after breaking the jaw of the man who made you cry like this.

If it were up to him, you would never cry unless it’s from pleasure from how good he made you feel. 

He snapped out of his crude thought. “Your boyfriend sounds like a real charmer,” he said sarcastically. 

You looked away from him, embarrassed, “So I guess you heard everything?”

“Sorry,” he said all too unapologetic, “I’m not the type to eavesdrop, I swear.”

“It’s fine. I just don’t want you to think I’m pathetic. I swear I’ll break up with him tomorrow.”

“I don’t think you’re pathetic at all, just misguided. You think way too low of yourself.” His stare made you feel so small. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Y/N.”

Your face heated up like crazy. You finally looked back up into his eyes and Heeseung felt amused at your flustered and shocked face. You were adorable beyond your comprehension. 

“You don’t know how many men would do anything to have you.” Present company included, Heeseung thought. 

You shook your head, chuckling weakly, “You don’t have to say that.”

His eyes went dark now, frustrated at how you didn’t believe him. He leaned over the table to grab your hand. It was comforting and far too gentle for you to have reacted by flinching at the sudden touch. “I mean it, Y/N. You deserve so much better than him,” he lowered his voice and whispered, “You deserve to feel good. A man who can’t pleasure his woman is what’s actually pathetic.”

You had no idea what to say at that, your body going stiff at his insinuating words and the feeling of his thumb rubbing over your hand. 

He smiled tenderly at you, trying to soothe your worries. “I could show you what it feels like to be taken care of.” He leaned closer towards you now, and you felt yourself leaning as well. “Come sit over here,” he patted his lap.

You had no idea what you were thinking when you stood up from your seat and began walking towards him, but you felt him pulling you in. In these months of misery and heartbreak, Heeseung’s comforting presence was magnetic and you couldn’t stop yourself from getting close to him.

You stood in front of him, and he gently held your waist to pull you down to sit over his lap, legs scandalously spread in front of his pelvis. You felt yourself heat up even more, especially the in-between of our legs. You were wearing pyjama shorts and a baggy white shirt, no bra. Heeseung snaked his arms up your back and pushed you even closer so your chest was flush with his. 

You were flustered at the feeling of your tits pressed up against him, and your shorts dampening ever so slightly with your arousal. 

“I bet I could be a better kisser than him,” Heeseung whispered. 

Your faces were so close now that one slight push would have your lips pressed up against each other. “We…We can’t do this Heeseung,” you managed to say.

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” He cupped your face, “you’re going to break up with anyways.”

“No, that’s not it,” you bit your lip and reached up, grasping onto his shoulder, “It just feels…I don’t know if Hojung will be happy with me—”

He placed a finger over your mouth, “Shh, enough of that. She doesn’t matter right now, and you do. What is it that you want?”

You leaned into his palm, ever so hypnotised by his stare. You stayed silent, your mind thinking of all the ways this may hurt Hojung. What if she thought of you as betraying her? You’ve always had feelings for him, but what if you succumbed to your desires as just a means of using him to get over your heartbreak? You cared far too much about Heeseung to do that to him. What if he just wanted to use you? 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when Heeseung grabbed you tightly by the hips, making you rub your pelvis against his, not helping at all with your wave of arousal. You held back a whimper. “Tell me, gorgeous. What do you want?”

“I want you,” you finally pushed yourself against his lips. It didn’t take long for Heeseung to hold your head and push his tongue inside your mouth. The way he was using his tongue was making you hazy, not being able to suppress your noises any longer. It was rough and passionate. A fiery passion you weren’t used to. 

“Stay quiet, baby. Don’t want to wake anyone up, right?”

You nodded weakly, but you weren’t sure if you were going to be able to keep that promise. His tongue now latched onto your jaw and you clasped your lips together to hold back your whimper. Your squirming made Heeseung’s cock harden and stand up, and you began feeling sensitive to the feeling of his erection pressing up against you. 

It was almost involuntary the way you began grinding against his crotch, and you felt desperate. His lips were now on your neck and he grabbed a handful of your ass, steadily pushing you back and forth on his thighs. It made you see stars. 

It was embarrassing how you felt yourself nearing your orgasm just by this. You have been so sexually deprived and neglected it made you sensitive to real and passionate intimacy. It was in the feeling of your clit pressing against the fabric of your panties, and Heeseung’s hand inside your shirt playing and palming at your tits. Your nipples hardened at the pressure.

Fuck, you were going to cum practically untouched.

You quickened your pace, your hips beginning to tire as you started chasing the high.

“Are you going to cum, baby?” Heeseung whispered. You nodded meekly, not being able to speak a word. He gripped your hips, halting your movements. “Why don’t you take off your panties and ride my thigh? It will feel so much better.”

Although you were frustrated by having your pleasure taken away from you, you stood up on unbalanced legs in front of him once more. He put two fingers into the hem of your shorts and pulled you towards him. He leaned his head towards your leg and began placing kisses on your thigh as you felt your shorts slide down your legs and eventually pool on the floor.

“You’re fucking drenched,” you felt him place his fingers on the wet spot on your panties and whimpered at the feeling. “Have you ever been eaten out?”

You shook your head. Your boyfriend was the first sexual relationship you had, and he never seemed to be interested in making you feel pleasurable. You weren’t even sure if he knew how to.

“Bastard,” Heeseung murmured under his breath. He was utterly furious at how your boyfriend had practically been using you for his own pleasure like you were some object. He discarded your panties and pulled you back on his thigh.

Your clit came into contact with his thigh. He rocked you back and forth and your mind short-circuited at the friction of his jeans and your sensitive clit. You pressed your lips into his shoulders trying to muffle your moans, not trusting yourself to keep it in.

Heeseung was in bliss seeing you like this, desperate and beautiful and in utter pleasure. He felt his jeans get dampened from where your cunt was drooling on them. 

Because you were already so hot and stimulated, it didn’t take long for you to feel it. The feeling was almost foreign to you since it’s been so long since you’ve pleasured yourself. You were going to cum on his thigh. 

“I-I think…I’m close,” you whined.

“I know, baby,” he cupped the back of your head gently, “cum for me.”

You rolled your eyes back as you felt your orgasm wash over you. You felt it everywhere in your body. You wrapped your arms tightly around Heeseung’s torso, almost like you’d fly away if you weren’t anchored to him. He kept slowly pushing you on his thigh, gently helping you come down from your high.

“Thank you, Heeseung,” you said after you had time to calm down.

“Don’t thank me. Not yet,” he chuckled. You were confused until you felt yourself rise as he picked you up and began walking towards his bedroom.

He laid you gently on his bed and leaned down to press his lips on your forehead. You were prepared for him to fuck you some more, and as much as you were tired, a major part of you was excited at the thought of him wearing you out for the night. You were surprised when he stood back up and grabbed your phone out of his pocket. You had no idea how you got that.

“Open it,” he demanded. You did so, feeling upset at yourself for being so unquestioning and submissive. You couldn’t help yourself though as you had the utmost trust towards Heeseung. 

He went through your contacts and found the man he was looking for. His name on your phone was followed by a sparkly pink heart after it. It made him want to gag. He pressed the call button, surprised at how quickly the man picked up given how late it was into the night. “Babe?” came out of the other line.

He put it on speaker and handed you the phone. You were immensely afraid to take it, still hesitant about your ability to leave this dead relationship. “Tell him. Tell him now or I will,” he whispered spitefully. He wanted to watch you dump that pathetic excuse of a man before he let himself have you fully. 

He couldn’t give a fuck about how the other man felt about his girlfriend cheating on him, but he knew you needed to get this over with. He wanted you to forget your boyfriend and focus solely on him as he took you.

“Y/N, what do you want?” the voice on the phone came out harsh as he was getting annoyed at your silence, making Heeseung clench his fists. How dare he speak to you like that, he thought.

“H-Hi��I called because I wanted to tell you something,” you said gently. Heeseung was sure he did not deserve to hear your soft voice. 

“Okay? Well hurry the hell up, I want to sleep.” Heeseung felt himself holding back from becoming violent.

“I think…I don’t think I can keep doing this.”

“Do what? What are you talking about?”

“I…,” your eyes trailed towards Heeseung, looking for help. He held your hand to help comfort you, but he wasn’t about to break up with your boyfriend for you so he gave you a stern look to continue what you were saying. You decided to rip the bandaid and said, “I think we should break up.”

There was a silence on the other line until your boyfriend—now ex—began raising his voice and cursing at you, “You’re not fucking serious, Y/N. Is this seriously why you called me in the middle of the night? I mean, what the fuck?” You noticed Heeseung clench his jaw. “Go ahead, leave me. You’re just going to come crawling back when you can’t find someone who can put up with how boring you are. Honestly, you are suck a fucking bitch, too scared to—,” Heeseung grabbed the phone out of your hand.

There were tears welling up in your eyes, but you were trying your absolute best not to cry over this prick. You already embarrassed yourself enough. 

Heeseung knew he couldn’t yell in fear of waking up the others in the apartment, so he said as quietly as he could, “Listen here you fucking cunt. Speak to her like that again and I will rip your throat out with my bare hands, do you understand?”

“Who the fuck are you?” the man on the line spat, but you could hear the slight fear in his voice. Your ex has never been a particularly confident man around men who intimidated him. Heeseung’s strong presence was clearly making him feel inferior, even if it was through the phone.

“I said do you understand? Never call this number again. In fact, don’t step or look or breathe anywhere near her, asshole.”

“Are you fucking—,” Heeseung ended the call and blocked his number for good measure. 

Heeseung leaned down and pressed his forehead against your forehead, “How do you feel?”

Instead of responding you grabbed him by his shirt and pulled his lips on yours. You felt like your body would not function unless he was on you. You didn’t want Heeseung to think you were upset over leaving your boyfriend, because you weren’t. You couldn’t give a fuck about him anymore, but fuck were you embarrassed by your cowardly attitude.

You may have been too weak to take action against your now ex-boyfriend, but you mustered up all of your strength to show Heeseung how much you wanted him, and solely him. 

He grabbed your waist and pushed your back on the mattress. You were moaning into each other’s mouths. It was hot and desperate. He needed you just as much as you needed him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, one hand pinning your wrists above you, the other descending down to your waist and grinding into you. You moved your hips up to meet his, trying to satisfy your craving for getting him inside you. 

He kissed you one more time before trailing his mouth down your throat, eliciting louder moans out of you. “Please,” you begged. You moved your hands to try to take off his shirt, forgetting he had them restrained. 

Heeseung let go of your hands, but instead of undressing himself, he peeled off your white shirt, leaving your bare breasts on display for him. He couldn’t hold himself back from moaning, gripping one with his hands and wrapping his lips around the other. It was practically impossible to keep quiet at the feeling of his mouth flicking and sucking on your sensitive bud. 

You felt his fingers yet again, but this time on your bare cunt, making you flinch in sensitivity. “Heeseung…,” you said breathlessly.

“Baby, you’re drenched,” his eyes were like a predator before it was about to devour its prey. He moved down the bed, placing your legs over his shoulders, thighs resting comfortably on his shoulders. He began lapping at your hole, and it felt like this was all that he was made to do. He was meant to pleasure you and now that he has been given the chance, he won’t be able to live without the feeling of your arousal on his tongue.

He licked up all your juices and then moved up to begin sucking on your clit. You accidentally yelped, despite your desperate effort to stay quiet. Heeseung chuckled, and looked up at you, “Baby, I told you to stay quiet. Or would you rather I shove your face into the mattress and take you from behind?”

You clenched at the thought, not entirely sure if you would mind. It didn’t get past him how positively you reacted to his threat. “Next time,” he murmured before continuing the devouring of your cunt. 

Your hand was tightly pressed over your mouth as you felt yourself cum on his tongue, your body shaking as you began to take in the feeling of overstimulation. You don’t remember a time in your life when you’ve had more than one orgasm in a single night. Heeseung climbed up once more and placed a kiss on your lips, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

“You taste incredible,” he groaned, making your face heat up in flames. You couldn’t believe he could say such intimate and coarse things so calmly. He began kissing your neck again, surely leaving a mark for tomorrow. That’s something your future self would have to worry about. 

He slid off his jeans and groaned as you reached down to cup his cock with your hand, mind going haywire at how massive it felt. You were nervous now to take it in your cunt, but he removed your hand and thrust himself inside you in one quick motion, wrapping your legs around his waist. 

You were both moaning now, your walls blaming around his cock from the pleasure, but partly due to your struggling of trying to take his size. You were still a bit too tight even with the two times he’s already made you cum. He let you slowly adjust to it before increasing his rhythm, pumping his cock more deeply and quickly.

His back was now littered with your scratches from clawing at him. He was pounding into you at a speed that was making it harder to form any thoughts. How could you, when you were having your guts rearranged by the man you’ve been in love with since you were a little girl? You felt his cock throbbing inside your walls, and you knew your climax was coming closer, as well as his.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum baby,” he breathed. He reached down and you felt his fingers playing with your clit, trying to get you to cum at the same time as you. Even if you tried your best to stay as quiet as possible, the sounds of the bed creaking were not going to fool anyone who was awake at this time. 

“Cum inside me, p-please,” you managed to say in between whines. He didn’t object, and you felt your insides become hot as his seed spread inside you, coating your walls. At the same time, you clamped around his cock as you came with him. You gripped tightly at his back, needing him as close to you as humanly possible. 

Heeseung stayed still as he waited for you to calm down, running his hands up and down your waist to help warm you and stop your shaking. He pressed his forehead against yours. It was just you and him in this world, breathing slowly to each other’s rhythm. 

He knew you were exhausted, so he wasn’t about to bring it up now so as to not overwhelm you, but you were his now. You were now forever belonging to him. There is only one thing that will let him live a fulfilling life and it’s to keep you in his life, happy and protected.

While you were sound asleep, you didn’t even notice your phone vibrating throughout your sound slumber.

LEE HOJUNG [09:27]: i’m guessing you’re still asleep but…seriously girl. i’m glad you’re moving on from that garbage bin of a human (please please please tell me u broke up with him) but did you seriously have to do it with my OWN BROTHER????

LEE HOJUNG [09:27]: i’ll kill him if he hurts you i hope you know that.

LEE HOJUNG [09:28]: are you guys together now or smth?

LEE HOJUNG [09:28]: he’s never allowed back here again don’t argue with me istfg

LEE HOJUNG [09:28]: UGH…YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING 🤮🤮 WAKE UP ALREADY SO I CAN BEAT YOUR ASSES 

KIM SUNOO [10:03]: Yeah…I’m not shocked in the slightest. 

[elysiansparadise]

In a world where everything seems superficial, they seek to get to the truth and know the essence behind everything.

Sagittarius Rising: The Wanderer

There is an air of mystery in their relaxed and contemplative appearance. Natives with a strong physique, gifted with the charisma and wisdom of Jupiter, these natives tend to look older when they are young and younger when older. A charming enigma, they can go from being hilarious, witty and jovial, to being rational, analytical and observant. An insatiable thirst to see beyond appearances, seemingly perfect systems and the masks people seem to wear. Strong will and mind, endowed with courage and bravery, no obstacle seems greater if they take a look at everything that forged them. They are people devoted to the beliefs they have and, no matter how open-minded, making them change their minds is not an easy task. Adventurous and curious when something catches their attention, rooted when making a decision. An inquisitive mind with idealistic overtones, a strong need for independence and a character with ambivert tendencies.

When we see Capricorn in their 2nd house, we can define that they firmly believe in the value of hard work and effort. From a very early age they learned that the best things in life or the most valuable things require work, sometimes giving up things that, although deep-rooted, only cause pain. They are willing to make sacrifices and work intensely long hours to achieve their goals. They do not usually take unnecessary risks and prefer safe and stable investments, both economic and time and energy. They have a strong ambition to achieve success and feel proud of themselves. They set high goals for themselves and are willing to work hard and persevere to achieve them. These natives are the clear representation of valuing quality over quantity, and can be considered picky by other people. Their self-esteem and self-worth are often linked to their achievements of all kinds, leading them to feel that sense of security when they have achieved their goals. They think long term and plan their future with vision and strategy. Their focus is on building a solid foundation that will provide them with lasting security and prosperity. It is likely that they grew up feeling that many things were missing in their lives, materially, emotionally or even spiritually.

Since they have Aquarius in the 3rd house, these natives are very open to new and different ideas, a trait that is often constantly associated with this rising. They enjoy discussing and debating theories and concepts on many diverse topics, from the simplest to the most profound. They have the quality of adapting well to different communication styles and are able to speak with people of diverse backgrounds and perspectives, ironically, they hardly feel that other people understand their way of thinking. Sometimes they may even feel judged for the way they communicate and think. They value mental independence and prefer to think for themselves rather than blindly following what others say. Their thinking is free and they do not easily conform to traditional opinions, nor are they afraid to question them. They have strong intellectual intuition and can reach conclusions quickly through intuitive perceptions. They are not afraid to question or debate regardless of the person they are dealing with. They are prone to feeling creative during short trips and can be inspired by things that to others may be very mundane or simple. Their rational nature helps them find ingenious solutions to complex problems. They have an insatiable intellectual curiosity and love to learn about a wide range of topics. There are chances of being only children, having some kind of distance from their siblings, or feeling very different from them. They can treat friends fraternally.

There is a lot of depth in the overlay of Pisces in the 4th house, as it is a part of the natives that others do not have a notion of so easily. In their childhood they could have been sensitive children, with that curiosity about the world around them, to understand how things worked, the people around them and, even at their young age, how life worked. There may have been that feeling of being lost, of not finding your place and a longing for that security that is associated with the word 'home'. For these natives, it is an important refuge for them, a place where they can retreat and recharge their energies, and I clarify, this does not necessarily have to be the one in which they were born, but rather the one they create. They dream of a quiet home, in which they can lower the volume of the outside chaos. Many of these natives need a serene space to maintain their emotional balance. They can find comfort in movies, books, music or even in the art they create, whatever it may be. This placement sometimes suggests someone who from an early age had to take care of someone else, whether it was a sibling, an older relative, or even their own parents. They are very perceptive people of the emotions of others, especially those that are deeper, those that others seek to hide. They can also be very intuitive with the emotional needs of their family members. They like to create a welcoming and hospitable environment in their home, as they enjoy making others feel welcome and comfortable in their space. They need a space where they can escape the demands of the outside world and find solace. They look for an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity at home.

With Aries in the 5th house, these natives tend to have a passionate approach to romances. Romance with them feels like an awakening, the awakening of excitement, intrigue, and a desire to explore new things with them. An emotion that drives you in your daily life, that motivates you and drives you to live the day as if it were your last. They greatly value their independence but once they know that you are what they want, they jump in with enthusiasm and can be very direct and honest in expressing their feelings. They like certainty and indecision in a person may seem unattractive to them. There are no grey tones, half-hearted feelings or unfinished ideas, they are looking for a lover as willing, daring and passionate as they are. Love makes them feel alive, fills them with enthusiasm and the desire to go after what they want. It is very likely that once they find love they will feel more ambitious, creative and confident. They value their independence and freedom in love, so they will not tolerate any type of relationship that restricts them or makes them feel limited or incapable of being themselves. They will always focus on motivating their partner and encouraging them to do what they are passionate about, they will never limit them in any way. These natives attract a lot of attention and stand out for their attractiveness, confidence, and sexy and independent aura. Many of them enjoy playful competitiveness. Their self-expression is direct and unfiltered. They are not afraid to be themselves and express their opinions and desires clearly and forcefully. If they decide to have children, they will be active, expressive, playful and very authentic. They can be parents who prioritise that their children have a strong sense of self-acceptance, that they are not afraid of anything and that they feel empowered.

Something that these natives will prioritise a lot no matter what their well-being is, from physical, to emotional and mental, which we attribute to Taurus in the 6th house. When they see that something is not positive in their lives, they do not hesitate to keep it away from them, because they are in constant search to keep what gives them pleasure and comfort close, distancing themselves from what sinks them and prevents them from growing. They can be very selective about what they make part of their day to day, and this includes the people they surround themselves with. They are people who will make part of their routine things that they find pleasant or comfortable, so they may have problems doing chores or things that they find boring or repetitive, postponing them and falling into procrastination tendencies. Taking care of their body and emotional tranquillity is something of great importance to them, so it is common for natives with this placement to exercise, do or have skincare routines, read constantly, meditate or practise similar activities. Many of them have this need to stay active, to be constantly doing things and even if they stay busy, they may have that feeling that they are not using properly most of their time or that they could be doing even more productive things. This placement tells us about the importance of comfort for them when choosing a job, without forgetting that it can also indicate earning a lot of money doing something that they really like and gives satisfaction. In their work they can enjoy not only a good reputation, but lasting bonds and courtesy with others. Taurus being here shows us natives who can be very devoted and constant with any task they have to do, investing a lot of time in it. A good work ethic is possible and a calm and relaxed way of working, as they dislike putting themselves under constant stress.

They highly value their independence, it is difficult to get their attention, and it is even more difficult to awaken in them that desire to have a long-term relationship, and it is not because of fear of commitment, but on the contrary, they think deeply and are very clear about what they want in a relationship and a partner for the long run. This rational and analytical, but above all precise approach is thanks to Gemini in the 7th house, as it means that Mercury is ruling this house. These natives do not have a long list of requirements that you have to meet to be their life partner, but they know perfectly well what things they do not want to deal with. Their discernment makes them realise this easily, and their blunt personality makes them not hesitate to make it clear. They want a partner who makes them look twice, who awakens their curiosity, interest and that has a magnetism that attracts them. They are fascinated by people who always have something to say, those with a clever and agile mind that fills them with excitement and makes them discover sides of themselves that they didn't even know they had. Someone that speaks their mind, that turns daily and boring into exciting and pleasant. They have a fear of deception and sudden distancing from their special person, so they will look for a partner who seeks to be present without the native asking for it. They are people who think a lot when it comes to being with another person. They want to find someone who will erase their doubts with actions and words, a person who will constantly let them know their intentions, feelings and thoughts, someone who will surprise them, not necessarily with seemingly big and outlandish things but by showing that they are not the same as the rest of the people that the natives to found throughout their lives. Good communication is something of utmost importance when thinking about a potential long-term partner, much more than other aspects even. For them it is crucial that this person can talk to them about anything regardless of the weight of the situation. Their future spouse is a person with great intelligence, good social skills and a person who uses his resources and knowledge astutely, someone who is difficult to catch off guard, open-minded and often a fascinating communicator. They will enjoy a marriage with adventures, fun and many learnings. Both the natives and their partners will feel intrigued and strongly attracted to each other, they will be intellectually stimulated and may even feel that they are both friends and partners.

One of the aspects of their personality that is less talked about but that is very determining in them is Cancer in the 8th house. These natives experience their emotions in a very intense and deep way. Their emotional world is rich and complex, and they can be very sensitive to the energies and emotions of others. Although they are protectors and caregivers, they can hide their own emotional vulnerability. Many of them, due to their experiences, are often afraid of showing their weaknesses and tend to build a protective shell around their emotions. They have an innate capacity for emotional healing, both for themselves and for others, transforming themselves and those around them internally. They can be excellent counselors, therapists, or emotional healers. They are firm protectors of what they consider family [whether biological or not], they will keep those they love safe and will not hesitate to attack to defend them if necessary. Their approach to sexuality is deeply tied to their emotions as it is crucial for them to feel a strong emotional connection to fully enjoy their sex life. They may have deep fears of abandonment or betrayal in their intimate relationships. They need to feel a deep emotional and spiritual connection with their partners and can be very protective and nurturing in their intimate relationships, being attentive to their partner's needs. They love the idea of ​​having a relationship where both can be vulnerable with the other and where both fiercely defend the other, giving themselves body and soul to the other.

These natives usually have Leo in the 9th house, which tells us that their pride lies in their intelligence, talents and abilities. They are excellent and fierce debaters who will always seek to speak their truth without filters and without trying to win the good side of others. Strongly tied to their convictions, they give great importance to justice and will always act according to what they consider optimal and most correct in certain situations. Since I mention their strong and fixed opinions, it is worth mentioning that it is difficult to change their minds. If the native is not grounded enough, they are likely to believe that they have the absolute truth and refuse to listen to other people. Their intelligence and ability to create is great and they can bring many interesting and successful projects to life. They will have a lot of happiness traveling or connecting with other cultures, as well as a source of ideas and the ability to create warm memories in places far from home. They may feel very different from people from whatever group they belong to, from school, or even from the stereotypes of their countries. They have a strong passion for knowledge and education, as they love to learn and may have a great interest in philosophical, spiritual or cultural topics. They can communicate their ideas passionately and effectively, motivating others to learn and explore. They have academic ambition and in some cases this placement leads them to seek high achievements in their education. 

With Virgo in the 10th house, these natives are seen as reliable and responsible people in their professional field, coupled with their serious and committed approach to their work, earning them the respect of their colleagues and superiors. Their integrity and work ethic are fundamental to them, and they do everything they can to avoid mistakes or failures. For them it is always crucial to charge and show that they act based on their principles, seeking to do things correctly. They stand out for being adaptable and able to adjust to the changing demands not only of the professional environment, but of what they experience throughout their lives. They are extremely dedicated to their work. They have a strong and admirable work ethic and are diligent and meticulous in everything they do. Always seeking to improve and achieve high quality standards. They can be very critical of themselves and others, especially those who boast of being superior in role or morals. They can be excellent in roles that involve analysis, administration, or any type of detailed work. They may choose jobs in which they maintain order, have control of a specific area or a specific group of people, that are related to analysis and research, or something that involves supporting or helping others. They do not seek recognition or glory, but are satisfied with doing their job well. They are not interested in pleasing others or meeting other people's expectations, rather they constantly strive to meet the expectations of a single person, themselves.

Natives with Libra in the 11th house are selective with friends, thinking a lot before giving that title to someone; Despite their initial wariness, they remain cordial enough. As friends these natives can be very supportive and caring, giving not only sympathy and affection, but also bringing realism to the lives of their friends and colleagues. This placement gives them the tendency to be popular and/or recognized either in their environment or on the internet. They value their friendships very much and will always focus on them being fair relationships in which they get the same as they give to others. They can create very strong ties with friends and vice versa, in some cases it can be expressed in friends being very attached to the native and relying on them, although there may be a risk of dependence on either party. They are very good at working as a team and can count on diplomacy. They are the kind of people who seek social justice, can defend others from injustice and prevent them from getting hurt. They hate injustice and discrimination, because they believe in equality regardless of gender, age, race or beliefs. They are skilled at mediating and resolving conflicts within their social groups. Their natural diplomacy allows them to find fair and balanced solutions to disagreements. They have the ability to positively influence the groups to which they belong. Their ability to see both sides of a situation allows them to provide balanced and fair perspectives. This house is also related to earnings through their work, with Venus ruling this house we can also determine that they can have many economic benefits in a job that they genuinely like.

What lies within you, love? How does Scorpio in the 12th house play a role? When someone sees you they immediately perceive your strength, they sense your impetus and courage, many even tremble at the power that you naturally emanate, but only those who dare to look directly into your intense and sharp gaze, realize the pain that has forged your shell and attitude. You are secretive with many aspects of your life, you deeply bury the gray and overwhelming tints that life has poured on you. You don't let anyone know for fear that it will be used against you. You have learned to watch you back, that trust is not something that is given to just anyone. From betrayals, disappointments, people's cruelty and prejudices... you have been through a lot and yet you remain firm, because you know that you yourself are your most faithful companion and your strength. Fear of betrayal, revealing too much of yourself and being judged or ignored, fear of loving someone who doesn't love you with the same depth. You have a fascinating mind, a fervent desire to get to the bottom of things, and the ambition that allows you to achieve it. It is difficult to hide things from you, because your keen intuition accompanied by your need to discover the truth are your most lethal weapon. You feel things deeply, many times more than you would like, and for you there is no middle ground. You are decisive and do not hesitate, things may be black or white, yes or no, all or nothing… Unlike other people, you find refuge in the spaces where you are on your own. At the end of the day it is better than the masked crowds, those who smile in front of you and conspire behind your back. You have the ability to sense when someone is not what they seem, you can detect people who have shady intentions for miles, a gift that experience has given you. All of these traits protect your noble and loyal heart, the one that makes you capable of completely surrendering to something or someone that makes you feel safe and comfortable. It's never too much for you when it comes to someone you love or something you're passionate about.

[daretoassume]

if you are always bothered by whatever is happening in your life, you will always remain a victim of your physical reality. perhaps, a specific solution did not occur, or your sp didn’t meet your expectation, or you still feel like the same person when you want to be something else, which leads to frustration.

if you want your reality to change, you cannot be constantly fazed by what you see outside, nor can you frequently check to see if any changes have happened. most likely, your mind has numerous ways to predict how it could happen, but you also cannot keep thinking about how your reality will unfold or think of ways that will catastrophize your desired reality.

"what do i need to focus on then?"

as long as you have that inner knowing that you are what you desire to be and are already in your desired reality, or at least believe that whatever you are experiencing only leads you to the reality you desire, then you don’t need to do anything except do what excites you every single day. even the simplest things, like making a coffee, watching your favorite show, or talking to your loved ones, can be enough. because you cannot always be watching other people's lives and expect your life to change in the way you prefer when you are not even doing anything to align your mind.

"i simply ignore all the facts of life – all that reason dictates all that my senses dictate, and i dare to assume that i am the man, or the woman, that I want to be. so, i no longer want to be it. i am it! and i walk in the assumption that i am it. then i command, by that assumption, the whole vast world to obey my will." ♱ you dare to assume, neville goddard

these days, i notice that as long as i focus on what i need to do and what i love to do, which is writing, i don’t feel the need to check all areas of my life for changes because i have the inner knowing that i already have my desires. if i constantly check my physical reality, it means i don't truly have it. clinging to my desires will only lead to frustration and attachment, so i focus on my own thing and know that living from the end is the way for me to realize my desires. if it's already done, then there's no need to think about them, check on them all the time.

our minds naturally wander, and this can affect our emotions when we are not aware of it. that is why it is important to stay grounded and centered so you can quickly catch yourself if you are entertaining beliefs or daydreams that you should not be thinking of. understand that if you assume you are already the person you desire to be, they would not have thoughts and beliefs that do not serve them. their natural thoughts and beliefs are divine.

[prokopetz]

I'm fascinated by the Knights in Tight Spaces demo for what can potentially be taken away from it for the tabletop – less in terms of the deckbuilding stuff, and more in terms of its asymmetric action economy.

Basically, the structure of each round of combat is as follows:

Each NPC moves – typically either one or two squares in cardinal directions, though some NPCs move in other ways – and chooses a facing.

Player characters do their thing, spending action points from fixed pools to perform a variety of tactical manoeuvres and attacks.

Finally, each NPC performs a deterministic action based on their final position and facing; in the simplest case, this is "deal your damage to whatever is in the adjacent square you're facing".

In a hypothetical tabletop context, this creates a environment where the players and the GM are functionally playing different games. The players have this whole complex action economy with multiple semi-independent resource pools to engage with, but the GM has no resources to track beyond making sure each NPC gets to move, and the only choices they make are where to position their playing-pieces.

It's certainly not offering any magic-bullet solutions to the traditional problems faced by games that want the GM to be an active player, but this sort of totally asymmetrical action economy feels like it could be a fruitful avenue to explore for solutions to the problem of overwhelming the GM with options because they have to simultaneously direct half-a-dozen characters while each player only has to deal with their own.

[callooopie]

Modern!Davos Blackwood headcannons (pt. evil)

— the bad —

Me and my husband, we’re sticking together — Me and My Husband // Mitski

We’ve explored the ‘good’ of modern! Davos. But now it’s time to explore the bad.

cw — toxic behavior within relationships. Possessive behavior.

Davos is a gamer. And does have gamer rage. But it’s not the type where he’ll cool off after the game or where he’ll laugh about it. These fuckers are throwing his ranked games—they deserve the death penalty and to get doxxed AT LEAST. A bad night on league, csgo, or valorant has a chance of making him violently angry. It’s like you need to leave the room for safety type shit. He has punched his monitor, and he does punch walls. He snaps out of that behavior when he gets with you. Or tries to at least. He doesn’t want you to see that but you do, once in a while. He just can’t stand it! Idiots—idiots with keyboards in front of their fucking blind faces. Goddamn—not to mention you- … just—just get out! He’s fine just—! GET THE FUCK OUT! Close the fucking door behind you Jesus Christ—.. can’t do the simplest shit…

Temperamental. Almost to a startling level. The smallest thing can set him off sometimes, but that’s only if he’s already in a bad mood to begin with. Someone looking at you a little too long? He’ll glare at them, maybe even take an intimidating step toward them. On the road and some fucker’s going too slow? He will lay on the horn and curse them out. Once he did get out of the car to “deal” with “this jackass”. Someone wanted to fight? He’ll stand on business too don’t worry (he did win, but a win that didn’t make you feel good watching it). Laying a gentle hand on him cools him down a little, but what really stops him is the look of disbelief and fear on your face. What? He was just showing that guy what was up—you honestly think he’d kill someone? It looked like he would, are you dumb? That wasn’t even a full fight—don’t be stupid..

Don’t look at his Twitch dashboard. He will still follow people who’re ‘problematic’ or are just straight up cringe. Yes, there are also essentially naked egirl streamers too. Oh what? He can’t follow them? Why? They make good content, plus he was following them before he was with you. He doesn’t even watch them anymore! Don’t tell him you’re policing his media consuming now too—wha? No no! He didn’t mean it like that—

If you fight, he will not let you leave. He wants to settle whatever it is right then and there, no cooling off or whatever. It does stem from a good place somewhat; he doesn’t want to prolong the argument, or revisit it ever. So he wants to just figure out the solution right there. Which means he’ll do anything to stop you from leaving. This behavior makes the argument and situation much worse. Grabbing your wrist, pulling you toward him. Blocking the door… what? You wanna go? You can’t just walk off like that! You’re just ignoring the problem! He’s not letting you—Get back here!

Davos’s apologies… are technically sincere. He’s more so scared of being left alone, without you. So he’ll say anything to make you stay with him. Sweetened words, kisses against your skin and face. Spamming texts, repeated phone calls. You know he didn’t mean it! He’s just got an impulsive tongue, he says things he doesn’t mean. You know this already.. he’s trying to be better! Better for you! Won’t you come back? Please? He’s sorry, really. No take backs. He’ll be better this time around..

He is loyal. Which is good, but also that means he’s clingy. You could be the toxic one of the relationship, but he would stay regardless because of his unwavering commitment and love to/for you (and fear of being alone). He stands on business with you, whether if it’s your fault or not. If someone’s gonna swing at you, he’s gonna be there to take the blow and swing right back. But his devotion can turn suffocating, smothering. He needs you to respond to his texts and calls, he needs you to check in with him throughout the day. He’s loyal to you.. but how does he know you’re loyal to him..? He just missed you! ..you texted him ten minutes ago?—so what?? You’re his! he should know what’s going on with you. Plus he’s bored, can’t you do something with him? …you don’t have time for him? What?! Why?! …are you with someone right now—

That leads to this. He will absolutely be in your business. Where’re you going? Who’re you texting? Hey who was that? A guy friend? Hmmm he looks suspicious.. the way he smiled at you… maybe you should drop that friend. Davos doesn’t like his intentions. Yes, there are always intentions—why can’t you just listen to him for once? God didn’t you see the way that guy looking at you? Davos would be the type to get into a fist fight because he deems someone’s glance toward you as making a move. That fucker’s been staring at you the entire time you’ve been here! He had to do something. What if that guy had bad intentions hm? God—you just aren’t aware of things are you? ..he didn’t mean it like that c’mon now—

Returning back to his gaming habits.. Davos will ignore you if he is gaming. If you’re not someone who plays the same as him? You’re getting ignored for at least five hours or more at night. But if you are a gamer and you both play together? He’s the guy who “kindly” criticizes your every move. Backhanded comments, mansplaining basic gameplay mechanics. Yeah… he’s that guy. Hm.. he guesses that was a nice move. He would’ve made a different play that wasted less resources however. It was good enough he supposes. Do you even know how this mechanic works? You do? Oh.. well you act like you don’t understand the basic macro of the game—

[mitchellnman]

THE SIMPLEST SOLUTION. PT 1.

MDNI.

Martin x reader x Michael Gavey

Word count: about 3.7k

Warnings: porn with very little plot, afab reader, she/her pronouns, cunnilingus, messy feelings, Martin's chill, Michael's not.

A/n: hi hello welcome to my random unbeta'd fic please enjoy

"I don't fucking get it." You groaned, your fingertips coming up to rub at your temples - though what you really wanted to do, was rip your hair out, and smash the mathematics textbook over —

"I didn't expect much from you, but really."

His head. Michael Gavey. Your math tutor. You had made a deal with him a few weeks ago, and who knew that the unassuming genius would turn out to be the devil incarnate? Certainly not you. It had been simple; his brain, your fingers.

Not like that. He wanted to learn how to play guitar, and you, with your band that played on the weekends at the local pub, considered yourself to be damn good at it. It had seemed fair, at the time. But now, tears pricked at your eyes, and you felt like a child again, sitting across the table from your father as he explained long division to you again, and your brain refused to comprehend it.

"Asshole." You muttered.

He smirked, and set his pencil down. "Perhaps if you spent more time studying, and less time with your greasy boyfriend, you'd understand."

"And maybe if you got laid once in a while, you wouldn't be such a cunt!" You spat back at him. You stared at each other, glaring fiercely, anger bubbling beneath the surface. He exhaled slowly, through his nose.

"One more try. Then we'll call it a night. Deal?" He asked, trying to reason with you.

He liked seeing you angry. It excited him, thrilled him - but he didn't want to make you too angry, and have you leave him. He knew you had a boyfriend, that imposing cryptid that you kissed on the cheek, and the lips, and—

He coughed, mentally wiping his mind of that image. He knew he was jealous, he had come to terms with it weeks ago, after a quick and hot rub of his crotch made him cum so hard he saw stars, face buried in the pillow you had plopped on your lap. It wasn't fair that Mark, Matthew, whatever his name was, got to hold you, got to touch you, taste you, and Michael only ever got to frustrate you.

He knew he was jealous. But you couldn't know that. It would ruin everything.

"Michael, no matter how many times you explain this thing, it doesn't make sense." You said, utterly frustrated with yourself. Your hands did go up to your hair then, tugging.

Michael pressed his lips together, and patted your shoulder. It was the only part of you that he permitted himself to touch, beside your hands when they brushed, knees when they knocked. "Let me try to show you a different method. A new perspective, if you will." He offered, his voice softer, and a touch sweeter.

You agreed - without much of a choice. Despite your reservations - by the end of the night you understood the problem, and Michael even had you explain how to solve it to him. He'd never say it, but he was proud of you, it was written all over his face.

You gathered your things and tucked them in your old black backpack, the one with the straps that you had to resew every six months. Michael watched you for a moment, then turned and started to rifle through a drawer. As you turned to say your goodbyes, he was there, holding a crunchy bar.

"For you." He said.

You smiled, brighter than the moon on a clear night. "You're sure?"

"Of course."

You took it from his hand, your fingers brushing against each other. Michael opened his mouth to say something, but your phone pinged before he could make a sound.

It was a text from Martin, your boyfriend.

[ just got dinner. Omw. ]

You smiled, and shot a quick text back. "I gotta go, Michael. Thank you so much, for the candy, for everything."

You bade a quick goodbye, and jogged down to the parking lot, where Martin was pulling up.

In his room, Michael seethed with jealousy, now that he was free to show his true face. He paced the room back and forth, so hard that he might wear a hole in the carpet - that's when he noticed you'd left your jacket behind. Black, oversized, with some band logo on the sleeve. Martin's, probably. With a twist of his stomach, he thought, you'd look better in one of his sweaters.

Michael plucked the hoodie up by the collar, holding it away from him like it might bite him. He licked his lips. Slowly, he brought it closer and closer, until his lips brushed over the ratty fabric. He inhaled, deeply.

It smelled like you. Not entirely like you, there were still hints of him. Of Martin. Sweat and oil and other godawful chemicals he liked to play with. Him and his models. Michael sneered, but only for a second. He pressed his face fully into the hoodie, smashing his glasses against the bridge of his nose.

He moaned.

Martin greeted you with a smile as he pushed the passenger door open from his side, the hinges squeaking in protest. You climbed in, and he tapped his cheek. With a laugh you obliged him, and planted a warm kiss to his jaw. The car smelled like dinner, ramen from a local place that held many of your memories together, laughter, fretting over bloodied knuckles, all of it.

"How was it?" He asked. He watched you buckle in, and took off once you were secure.

"Well," you said, pulling out Michael's crunchy bar. "I did so well, he gave me a reward."

Martin chuckled dryly. "Wait 'til we get home, I'll give you an even better one." His hand fell from the steering wheel, and onto your knee. His fingers found the holes in your jeans, and he started tracing the skin of your knees with light, teasing strokes.

You shivered. "Don't start, or I'm going to have to start, too."

In response, Martin squeezed your thigh. "I'm a good driver, but I don't know if I'm that good." He mused. "Besides, I couldn't look at you. That's the best part."

After dinner, while you were brushing your teeth in the bathroom, Michael texted you.

[ you left your jacket here. I only just noticed. ]

You swore quietly, and smacked your forehead. "Stupid." You muttered.

[ will you be there tomorrow? I can pick it up in the afternoon. I'm swamped in the morning. ]

You waited for a long moment. Then finally,

[ I'll be here. ]

[ thank you, Michael ❤️ ]

"Everythin' alright?" Martin asked, leaning against the doorframe. "I heard you swearin'."

You nodded. "I left my hoodie at Michael's. He was just letting me know."

"Awful nice of him." Martin mused. "Better than what I'd have done."

"Oh?" You asked, setting your phone down. "What would you have done?"

Martin grinned that evil smile of his, and sauntered closer to you. He was shirtless, post-shower, and just in a pair of gym shorts. You, meanwhile, wore one of his shirts, and a pair of boxers. He leaned down, and flicked the tip of his finger over your chin. "I would have fucked it until it smelled like me." He whispered, so close you could feel his warmth radiating off of his skin. He licked the tip of your nose with his ever-blue tongue. "Every time you wore it, you'd think of me."

His arms snakes around your waist, and brought you flush against his chest. His wet hair tickled your cheeks, like his lizard's tongue did when he had her 'kiss' you goodbye. Martin kissed you then, his fingers pressing into your flesh. You hooked your arms around his neck, and he pushed you against the counter, his desire evident against your stomach.

An hour later, you were both fast asleep, the scent of sex lingering in the air. You were curled against his chest, and his arms were around you, just like they always were - protective and possessive.

The next morning, he drove you to college as usual. You shared a long kiss goodbye, and went about your day. You took notes, studied, did everything a good student should do. Then at about 2, you made your way up to Michael's dorm room. You lifted your hand to knock, but Michael opened it before you could.

"Oh, hello-"

"What are you . . Oh, yes. Hoodie." Michael shook his head, as if to say 'duh'. "Come in."

"I can just grab it and go if you're busy—" you offered. Michael was unusually out of sorts, his hair unkempt, wearing the same clothes from yesterday, his eyes staring only at your neck.

"No, no. That's alright." He said. "I was just going to go to a vending machine for a snack." He met your eyes finally, something simmering beneath the surface. "I see Martin's made a snack out of you."

You frowned. "What do you-? Oh, shit—" You pushed past him and took a look at yourself in the mirror; Martin had left his mark on you indeed, four hickeys in the vague shape of an 'M'. "He knows better, damnit." You sighed, rubbing your forehead.

Michael watched you, and tilted his head to the side. "You don't like it?"

"I go to an ivy league college with a blue collar background, I just —"

"You want to make a good impression on people you'll never see again." Michael deadpanned. "You don't want them to think you're a slut."

You rolled your eyes. "I hate when you do that."

"What?"

"Make a good point but deliver it like an asshole."

He grinned, cheekier than you'd ever seen him. "Your hoodies on the edge of the bed - I had to move it to sit." Michael explained.

You nodded gratefully. "Thank you." You said, immediately tugging it on. You sniffed it as you did - and it smelled like Michael. That made sense, it had been in his room all night. He smelled different than Martin, very clean, with hints of cologne and sweetness. It made you smile, a soft fondness crawling into your heart.

Michael let out a quiet sigh of relief. He hadn't, as Martin said, fucked the hoodie. He'd slept with it, his face buried in the fabric, inhaling your scent as much as he could - and he humped the mattress. For a very long time, longer than he'd realized. He only woke up a half hour ago, and tidied everything in a mad dash, and hoped you wouldn't notice anything amiss.

The little 'M' on your neck made his mouth go dry. For a moment, he pretended that you were his, and that 'M' stood for Michael, not Martin. He swallowed.

"Are you alright?" You asked. You stepped closer to him, brow furrowed in concern. Michael looked like he might be sick. You pressed the back of your hand to his forehead. "Michael, you're burning up." You whispered.

He let out a strangled noise. "I'm fine." He insisted. He took your hand in his, then looked at it like he didn't quite know what to do with it. "I..." He took a breath, and shook his head. "I think I just need to eat. I was up late, erm, reading."

You frowned, not believing him for a second. "Michael, I—"

The world stopped. He pulled you flush against his chest, and he smashed his lips against yours.

You never saw it coming.

Well - maybe a little. The two of you had some sort of tension, but - you had Martin, and Michael didn't seem the type.

You pushed him away as suddenly as he had tugged you in. "What the fuck, Michael?!" He tasted sweet. Like a crunchy bar.

He ran his hands through his hair, his eyes wide. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry - I don't know what came over me—" As you watched, tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm so sorry." He whispered, his voice cracking.

"Why did you do that?" You asked, hugging yourself tightly. "You know I'm dating Martin..."

"I know." He said weakly. "I know you are, and, and it kills me."

You stared at each other, tears streaming down each other's faces. You didn't know what to say. You liked Michael, you did - he was kind when he wanted to be, smart, sometimes even funny - and sure, he was cute, but —

"I have to go." You whispered.

"Don't tell him." Michael pleaded. "I'm begging you."

You shook your head. "I have to, Michael."

"He'll kill me." Michael said, his hands starting to shake.

"No, he won't, I promise." You wiped your face with the sleeves of your hoodie. "He's not like that."

"He does that ... car-jitsu!"

"He's got daddy issues, not anger issues." You laughed weakly, and Michael's heart broke a little. "I'll talk to you... sometime. I'm sorry." You said, unsure why you were apologizing.

Michael nodded, and hung his head. "I'm sorry." He whispered again, and you knew he meant it.

You took the bus home, and waited on the couch for Martin to get home from work. You tried to stop the flood of tears, but it was all for nothing. When he came home, you were sobbing softly into a pillow, and he curled around you, immediately comforting you.

When you told him what happened - he didn't have much of a reaction. In fact, he chuckled.

"Martin, it's not funny!" You said, smacking at his chest. "How am I supposed to go back there and face him?"

"Seems pretty simple to me." Martin mused, a shit-eating grin on his face. "An easy solution, if you will."

You frowned, and smacked his chest again. "You're not Gandalf, stop speaking in riddles!"

Martin laughed again, rubbing his chest. "What I'm sayin' is, I don't mind sharin'."

You squinted at him. "But I don't—"

"You do. I've seen the way you talk about him. Even if you don't know it, you're sweet on him, just a little." Martin shrugged, totally nonchalant.

"I am not, he's an asshole, and a know-it-all—"

"First, isn't he quite literally a genius? Sort of his job, innit? Second, you're blushing."

You clapped your hands to your cheeks, and were utterly dismayed to find that he was correct. Your face was flushed, and your skin practically burned underneath your fingertips. "I hate this." You whispered, utterly mortified.

Martin grunted. "Eat dinner with me. Sleep it off. We'll go see him tomorrow. What's his schedule?"

You pressed your fingers into your forehead, gently massaging yourself. "It's Saturday, so - nothing. And knowing him, he'd be holed up in his room anyways. He thought you were going to kill him."

Martin laughed. "Poor guy. I bet I could make him cry."

"Martin!"

"I'm kidding!"

You woke up the next morning groggy and sleepy, but feeling a little better than you had last night. Martin kissed your nose, and you smiled, curling into him, burying your face in his chest. He held you there, running his fingers through your hair. You stayed like that for an hour, just enjoying each other's presence.

"Get dressed." He whispered, patting your hip. You looked up at him with a soft smile, and he squeezed your ass in return.

So you got dressed, in jeans, a t-shirt, and the hoodie from yesterday. You ate breakfast with Martin, pancakes and bacon. Then, you got in the car, and drove to college.

"He lives on the third floor." You said, taking Martin's hand to lead him to Michael's room. Your stomach flip-flopped every step of the way, and once you reached Michael's door, you hesitated. "Martin-"

"Go on." He said. "I'll behave."

"Bullshit." You snorted. But, you knocked.

Michael opened the door - he'd showered and changed clothes, you noted. He looked awfully sorry for himself as he looked at you - then he glanced at Martin, and he gulped. "Hullo." He whispered.

"Hi..." You said. "Can we come in?"

"I thought you said he wasn't going to kill me."

"He won't." You promised.

Martin rested his chin on the top of your head, and he winked at Michael. Michael shivered, but he let you in.

"What's going on?" He asked, closing the door behind you two. "I'm sorry about yesterday, I don't know what came over me."

"I know. I get it." Martin said. To prove his point, he kissed you, lifting your chin up with two fingers. Michael watched, his lips parted. "Believe me, Michael, I understand..." Martin purred, his arm snaking around your waist. "It'd be awful rude of me not to share."

Michael coughed, choking on his own spit. "If you're fucking with me, this isn't funny."

"We're not." You said. "I promise we're not. Michael... you don't have to. But you can if you want." You held your hand out to him, the black nail polish on your fingernails chipped.

He pressed his lips together, fidgeting in place. "I've never - I don't know what to do." He admitted, guilt flashing across his face.

Martin grinned. "Take her hand. We'll show you."

Michael stared at the pair of you, and after a long moment, he did take your hand, his palm sweaty. You smiled, and pulled him closer, just as close as he had you yesterday. You kissed him, slowly and softly at first. Michael was slow to reciprocate, but soon enough he was whining against your lips.

"Easy, poindexter." Martin chuckled. He slid his hands up your waist and under your shirt, his hands cool against your skin. "How badly do you want to taste her?"

Michael gasped, his pretty cheeks flushing a bright red. "I - that's -"

"It's a simple question." Martin said, his hands sliding up your chest, to cup your tits. You hadn't worn a bra, and your breath hitched in delight.

"I mean - I suppose I would - I don't know what to do." He stammered.

Martin grinned. "I'll teach you. Hey, get on the bed."

You obeyed, laying down on your back. Martin took your hoodie off, and looked over his shoulder at Michael. "Get in between her legs. Have you ever seen a pair of tits in real life?"

Michael shook his head as he climbed onto the bed with you two, his hands shaking. You smiled, propping yourself up on your elbows.

"Tell you what, if you can make her come, you can touch them. How's that sound?" Martin asked.

You nodded. "I like the sound of that."

Martin licked his lips, equally eager and nervous. "A-agreed."

"Arms up, babe." Martin said. You obeyed, and your shirt was removed. Michael's eyes went wide when he saw your tits, his mouth gaping wide.

"Watch." Martin instructed. He bent down, and kissed your chest, dragging his tongue over your skin. His lips wrapped around your nipple and you moaned, wrapping your hand in his hair. He suckled there for a moment, his hand teasing your other nipple. He lifted his mouth to speak.

"Take her pants off." He instructed.

Michael obeyed. His fingers fumbled with the snap, but soon enough he was tugging them down your thighs, and pushing them to the floor. He eyed your panties, nearly drooling with want.

"Take those off, too." Martin said.

Michael touched you reverently - he was living a waking wet dream, he wanted to savor this. He slid your panties down your legs, and you bit your lip.

"Put them in your pocket." Martin said, sucking a mark into your chest.

Michael nodded, and stuffed them away with a cheeky grin. "Now what?"

Martin chuckled. "Take your best shot."

Michael bit his lip, and slowly lowered his face to your core. He gave you an experimental lick, humming at your taste. He spread your lips, and licked you again - and he clearly knew his anatomy. He rubbed your clit with his tongue, and you moaned softly, your free hand tangling in his hair, too.

"That's it..." Martin purred. "Good boy. Use your fingers, too."

You were already wet for Michael, he was delighted to find. Slowly, he pressed a finger inside of you, his breath hot on your skin.

"Do this." Martin said, demonstrating a 'come hither' motion with his fingers. Michael watched, and committed it to memory. "You'll know if you're doing a good job."

Michael mimicked the motion, and he found your sweet spot with utter ease. Your hand tightened in his hair, and he groaned against you, his hips rocking against the mattress.

It was all so much, being worshiped so feverishly by the pair of them, Martin practically drooling on your tits, and Michael sucking on your clit like it was the best thing he'd ever tasted.

Which, it was.

It didn't take much to coax you over the edge, and you cried out, squeezing Michael's head between your thighs, the cold wire of his glasses pressing into your skin.

Michael made a sudden choked noise, and by the stuttering of his hips - he had come too, whining pathetically against you. You moaned, and forced your thighs to relax.

Michael sat up from your aching core, his mouth and chin covered in your slick. His glasses were fogged up, and he gave you a cheeky smile. Martin lifted his head from your tits, and kissed him. Michael choked, and shoved him away. Then their lips came smashing back together, Martin hungry for your taste on Michael's lips. You gasped softly, watching Martin's blue tongue disappear into Michael's mouth. Martin took Michael's hand and guided it inside of you. They each had two fingers in your wetness, and they found your sweet spot together.

You squirmed and moaned as Martin uses his free hand to tug on Michael's sandy locks, wrenching his head back. Michael groaned, and as Martin gave him a 'M' mark, his teeth sinking into the genius' skin, you came hard, squirting on their fingers. Your hands twisted in the sheets, so hard they might rip. Your back arched as you cried out their names, your vision going white.

As you came to, panting softly, the boys settled in by your sides. Michael's hand squeezed your tit, and he smiled, nosing into your neck.

"Do you think you're up to fuck her? Martin asked, his voice taunting.

Michael gulped.

To be continued...

[shanastoryteller]

hi shana happy holidays, hope you have a good one! i'd love JC time travel if you feel like writing it, dealer's choice if not!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5

Reducing his use of cultivation is the simplest way to extend Nie Haoyu's life and the one thing he refuses to do.

"You're being ridiculous," Jiang Cheng says tightly, pushing soothing cultivation energy through his palms as he works out the knots in Nie Haoyu's back. He's straddling the man's hips, which feels like a concession in the battle he's pretending they're not having, but it's the only way he could get the man to submit and stay still.

Nie Haoyu breathes evenly and deeply and eventually responds, "You should not have followed me."

He presses his thumbs into a bruise and Nie Haoyu's breathing briefly turns to a wheeze. "Oops," he says brightly before leaning back. "My mistake."

"Wei Cheng," he starts, then nothing.

Jiang Cheng is aware he has a great many admirable qualities. He's equally aware that patience is not among them. "You shouldn't be sneaking away to cursed mausoleums."

"If the spirits are not contained," he says, frustrated, then silences himself.

Nie Haoyu is a patient man. Likely for the best, considering.

"Then I'll help," Jiang Cheng answers. "I can channel resentful energy. You saw that."

He has a golden core uniquely suited to channeling resentful energy.

"You can't," Nie Haoyu begins, then changes tracts again. This conversation is going to give him a headache. "When people find out the root of our cultivation, that it is more than just our sabers, they're horrified."

He would have been, once. He was, once.

It cost him everything.

He leans down, bracing his hands against Nie Haoyu's shoulders. His lips almost brush his ear when he asks, "Do I seem horrified to you?"

Nie Haoyu isn't breathing.

Jiang Cheng leans back. "I will help you. And you will let me."

It's not a permanent solution and he's not planning on dying either. But it gives them time.

Time for A-Ying to grow up.

Time for A-Ying to grow into his power and then maybe he and Jiang Cheng will be able to offer a more permanent solution.

"Alright, Wei Cheng," he says softly. "Alright."

[howtofightwrite]

I’m not sure if this is off topic for your blog, but out of fear for my search history and the police, I wanted to ask if there is a means of someone producing a homemade bomb or something throwable that generates high levels of heat?

For context, the character I am writing is a lab intern that is secretly studying how to get rid of a parasite (think of something like Venom/Carnage) that can only be injured/destroyed with high levels of heat.

Two thoughts come to mind immediately, thermite and white phosphorous. So, in both cases, we're going to be setting metals on fire.

Thermite is more of a process than a specific chemical composition, which means getting the materials to make thermite explosives isn't that challenging. It involves getting a highly reactive metal, and then getting it to oxidize aggressively. Turns out, if you force aluminum to rust on the spot, it gets a bit warm. In some cases (such as with copper) the reaction is energetic enough to cause molten metal to splatter.

Because we're talking about different chemical mixtures, it's a bit hard to predict the exact tempreture, but most thermite reactions (at least, all of the ones I've ever looked up) will burn in excess of 2000K (3000F.)

Rigging thermite into a more portable form isn't that complicated, and crude pipe bomb-like containers should get the job done. Though, this would likely cause further problems.

The second option is white phosphorous. This burns at a lower temperature (around 800C), but this stuff ignites on contact with oxygen. Something you might be able to find in the air you're breathing. White phosphorous is a bit more tightly controlled, and is used in a wide variety of munitions. (In theory, it's used for tracers, as the phosphorous will ignite and glow while the round is traveling to its destination.) Because it will continue to burn in the wound, white phosphorous wounds are particularly horrific (as you'll see, if you ever visit the Wikipedia page.) However, it is already available as a payload for most military small arms cartridges.

A third option is classic napalm. This stuff tends to burn north of 800C. The actual material is a bit more disturbing than you might realize. Nalpalm isn't just a burning liquid, it's more like a burning goop, that sticks to whatever it hits... and continues to burn. Imagine a Vaseline sprayer (except, the Vaseline is ignited just after it leaves the nozzle.) Producing napalm in a modern chemlab, with a reasonable stockpile of ingredients shouldn't be too difficult, though it's unlikely the stockroom would have enough of the relevant chemicals to make much of the stuff. (Nalpalm flamethrowers go through a lot of fuel, so making the stuff on site might not be a great option.)

Using any of these methods will get a lot of attention on your character. While we tend to overestimate just how much casual searches for this kind of information are likely to land you on a watch list (this used to be more true than it is today), actually using them in the field will get an anti-terrorism taskforce crawling down around your character's ears. (Especially if they're making thermite loaded pipe bombs.)

Now, here's the funny thing about all of this: It's unnecessary.

You've got a monster that is vulnerable to flames. The simplest, and cheapest solution, is probably to go buy one of those orange, plastic, flare guns. This'll set you back less than $40 dollars (plus the cost of the included flares.) Then load up on extra flares, (at this moment, they're around $10 per flare.) (If you already have a 12 gauge shotgun, you can skip the flare gun entirely, and just buy 12ga flare shells.)

Those flares burn at similar temperatures to white phosphorous rounds, and are much, much, less regulated. (Though, if you're wandering out and buying up hundreds of flare shell rounds, that's likely to raise a few eyebrows.) (This is also true of normal emergency flares, similar temperatures, and they burn for much longer.)

This is without even thinking about Dragon's Breath shells, which will burn in the range of some of the hotter thermite reaction ranges. (To be honest, it probably is a thermite reaction, but I'd need to look into them a bit more to verify that.)

So, ultimately, the problem for a monster vulnerable to heat is that there are a lot of ways to throw burning metal at it, and let that cook it for you.

-Starke

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[finniestoncrane]

Pornstar!Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader, multi-part au fic cooper howard is a former actor, novice pornstar, and current wasteland escort. reader mistakes him for a bounty hunter and ends up getting far more entwined in his lifestyle than they intended in a bid to get what they need from the first 'kind' person they've met in a long time🤎

☢️ Chapter 2: Misunderstanding, word count: 4.7k reader is just about the simplest, sweetest thing that's ever gone on a journey to find a bounty hunter who can get revenge for her. unfortunately, she doesn't find the bounty hunter she was looking for. fortunately, she finds cooper howard instead, which i think we can all agree is a blessing Chapter 1 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: unprotected sex but cooper can't get you pregnant and i doubt any diseases can survive in his blood stream, lil bit of angst, one night stand with feelings, fairytale style connections here like pussy so good it has a man questioning the existence of soul mates

Your feet were no longer willing to participate, and you found that much of your energy was going towards convincing your lower half to keep going, even at the painfully slow pace you were struggling to keep. Trudging along what was left of the highway, you wondered how much of the difficulty was physical, and how much of it was the mental block. Because for all the effort it had taken you to get this far, with the end goal in sight you were beginning to reconsider.

What were you even going to say when you found the man you were looking for? 

“Hi, I’m looking to hire a bounty hunter, and I’m told you’re the best.”

Far too formal. Almost pleading. He’d know you were someone he could take for a ride immediately.

“Hello. Are you a bounty hunter? The famous one?”

That sounded like you were about to ask for his autograph before you asked if he could take on your job.

“What’s up, good sir. Are you by any chance willing… to… do…”

“Fuck.”

You’d had this entire journey to figure out what you were going to say, and now you were so close to reaching the settlement marked on your map and you were, if anything, less prepare than before.You couldn’t even blame it on distractions, because aside from a few standard dangers, it had been smooth sailing. A small mercy you were incredibly grateful for during the journey. And yet, instead of putting that time to good use, you had daydreamed your way along broken highways, beating the occasional radroach to death with your tire iron, and willfully ignoring what you had set out to do.

It just seemed so dangerous. So seedy. 

But unfortunately necessary.

Four times in the past three months, your quiet settlement had been attacked by raiders. Crops were destroyed and stolen, four brahmin were killed, and almost all of your prized possessions had been taken. It was only by sheer luck that they’d missed your stash of caps under the floorboards, and you’d vowed to use that to get your revenge. It was only this deep, burning desire for justice that had kept you going the past few days. Walking and walking and walking, interspersed only with fitful, uncomfortable sleep. You’d barely eaten, barely drank anything, and you were running low on supplies. But the signs for the next settlement were there on the walls, ushering you in, promising you food, rest and a solution to your problems. 

That was if you could convince the solution to do what you needed. 

And that itself hinged on your ability to recognise the bounty hunter.

“Oh, you’ll know him when you see him.”

That’s what the mayor of your settlement had told you. And what kind of advice was that? 

It’s not like there was a uniform they all wore. And as far as attitude went, what were you supposed to look out for? Handy with a gun and a cruel, cut throat demeanour? That was everyone in the Wasteland.

As you entered the large town, a settlement thriving somehow, you decided the bar was the best place to start your search, and the lure of having a drink, surrounded by voices and music, was far too enticing. There was nothing like that back home. Travelling traders and the makeshift common house was as close as it came to any kind of socialising or excitement. And while you were here on business, and rather serious business at that, you felt like you deserved a reward, a little bit of something to look forward to.

The bar gave everything that you hoped. The minute you walked through the door, you were quickly distracted by a fight that had just broken out. It was stopped by someone you assumed was working security who smashed the heads of the two men involved against the table, and then carried them through to a back room, one over each shoulder. A few people looked up from their drinks or away from their conversations to take you in, none of them settling for too long. This was a trading town, strangers came in and out all the time, you weren’t special here. You blended in. It felt nice, actually, not to draw too much attention. 

Sidling up to the bar, you asked for a water, deciding that quenching your thirst was a better option than beer, and settled into your crooked, wobbling stool. You couldn’t help but smile as you sipped at your cup and looked around the place. As dark as the reason you were here was, it felt like it had given you purpose, meaning. You were on a noble quest. The excitement was dulled, however, as you looked to your left and noticed the man beside you. Only then did the seriousness of your journey settle back in, heavy on your shoulders. 

The stranger next to you had shielded most of his face with a worn cowboy hat, one that was frayed and aged, but his skin was still visible, telling of his kind. A ghoul. The scars that marred his cheeks, sunken eye sockets, and no nose to make up his side profile. He was sipping at a dark liquid in a chipped glass, holding it with gloved hands. His body was covered mostly by a tattered duster jacket, but below it there was a glimpse of blue and gold, hidden under a thick, leather waistcoat. 

He certainly looked the part. The thought made you feel guilty, as though you had judged him based on his looks alone, but that was all you had to go on. Either this was the man you were looking for, or he was bound to know where to find that person. So you took the risk and tapped on his shoulder. 

Immediately, you understood that you had made a mistake, as his dark, brown eyes focused in on you, his lips curling into a sneer. 

“I will be polite, since you look like fresh meat, but do not touch me.”

“I-I’m so sorry, I just-”

He put up a hand, silencing you. 

“I only speak by appointment, darlin’.”

As he turned back to staring into the space in front of him, you decided you’d already come far enough not to push, just a little. Besides, the attitude, the way he spoke, the suggestion that he took on appointments. You were so certain that he was the man you were here to speak to.

“Well… you don’t look too busy right now…”

“You got ten seconds before I take this glass and make an awful mess of you.”

“I want to hire you! Please, just… Can I buy you a drink, Mr…?”

He looked down into his glass, almost empty except for one large gulp, which he swallowed with a sigh before he pushed the glass forward.

“Name’s Cooper.”

“Cooper. So…?”

“Whisky.”

“Whisky. Right. Thank you!” 

Cooper watched as you attempted to make your voice heard over the noise of the patrons in the bar, intrigued by you, far more than he would have liked to admit. Usually, clients were all the same. In town for the night, passing through, a regular. It didn’t matter, they were all there for a reason, and they wanted to get straight to the point of it. He preferred that. No beating around the bush, at least not until they had paid him. 

“Here you go! He said that was the best they had… it was expensive, so I hope he’s right.”

Eyeing the liquid, Cooper swirled it and grimaced, and when he raised his glass to drink, you copied him. The swig was lodged in your throat, a burning, painful taste that lingered at the back of your tongue and had you coughing and spluttering. From beside you, you could hear Cooper’s cruel chuckling, finally smiling, albeit at your expense.

“What’s so funny? What? Do you actually like the taste of this?”

“Oh, darlin’, don’t get yourself all worked up. I just find it amusing that someone like you would want to hire someone like me, that’s all.”

“And why is that?”

Cooper sighed, setting the glass down on the bar and turning in his stool to look you in the eyes. His gaze was intense, his eyes soulful, deep, focused.

“I just don’t think you’re lookin’ for what it is I can offer you.”

“Really? Well, what is it that you can offer me then, and I’ll tell you whether or not I can handle it.”

With a wry smile, Cooper nodded towards the bartender.

“Why don’t you go rent a room and I can tell you all the things I can offer you.”

That settled it for you. He was definitely the guy you were looking for, or at least, the kind of guy you needed. Secretive, trying to act threatening, scarier than he might be, to let you know how dangerous he was. He would be perfect. So you smiled back, hopping off your stool to go and speak to the bartender who gave you a key and a room number. By the time you had turned back around, Cooper was already making his way to the corridor, and you rushed to catch up to him. 

“Room number… five.”

“That’s a nice one, in the centre of the hallway, so it’s kept warm.”

“Uh…huh…”

He seemed to know it well, the whole space, as he confidently took the key from you, opened the door, and ushered you inside. That certainty with which he held himself, the confidence that flowed out of him, it was so oddly enticing. And as he settled himself down in a chair in the corner of the room and lit up a cigarette, you realised that you found him quite attractive. Bravery, danger, those soulful eyes that held what you could only imagine were decades upon decades of secrets, of history. Plus, despite his cold demeanour, he was oddly charismatic. You assumed that’s how he got by in this town, or any settlement. Usually, ghouls weren’t welcome, but Cooper seemed like the kind of man who could charm his way into anywhere. 

“So, what is it that you think I can do for you, sweetheart?”

You’d been staring at him blankly for a minute or so, watching as he commanded the space, relaxing himself into it. If he didn’t have years of being a fetishised novelty to back him up, he could have sworn that you seemed genuinely attracted to him. It had been so long since someone had looked at him like that, a blush on their cheeks, taking in his personality as well as his scarred and interesting body. 

Truthfully, he was looking forward to this himself. He’d have been lying to himself if he denied that you were his type. A little naive, sweet and cheerful, perfectly corruptible. But it was more than that. Your eyes seemed gentle, understanding. A trait that was hard to find these days. A look of the past about you, likely your upbringing. Those smaller settlements up in the hills were generational, clutching to what their ancestors had known before, living on kindness and the American spirit. THe nostalgia settled in his gut as he took you in. 

“Ok, so! Raiders.”

“... Raiders?”

He raised his brow, questioning you silently. It had been a long time since someone had asked for any roleplay in their encounter with him, and he could hear the jingling of caps as he wondered how much he could charge you for that.

“Yeah, raiders. They’ve attacked my settlement four times already.”

“And… they took you hostage? Kept you as a prisoner?”

“N-no… why…? No. They keep destroying our crops.”

“Oh, so you’re hungry.”

“I mean… yeah, but most of all I just need-”

“Need a little relief from all the stress you’ve been under?”

“I guess so, but not before I’ve solved the problem. What I really need is a bounty hunter.”

Cooper raised his hands, silencing you, a confused look on his face.

“I’m gonna stop you there, missy. This is verging on an acting job, and I don’t do those any more. Now what do you mean a bounty hunter?”

“Sorry… I don’t… what is there not to understand? I figured that’s what you did… isn’t it? Hunt bounties? Someone told me I could find a guy here that was good with a gun and-”

“Oh, you gotta be fuckin’ shittin’ me!”

He let out an exasperated laugh as he stood up from the chair and walked to you by the door.

“You think I’m a fuckin’ bounty hunter?”

“I thought… but now I’m sensing that you’re not in fact a bounty hunter.”

“Yeah, you got that right at least, lil lady.”

“So what are you then?”

“I’m an escort.”

You didn’t want to be presumptuous, and you couldn’t quite believe what he was saying, so you sought out some clarification, much to his dismay.

“So you… you go with me to get the raiders like a chaperone?”

Cooper stood in front of you in disbelief, narrowing his eyes at your perceived stupidity. 

“No, I ain’t escorting you anywhere except to this bed. Or the floor. Or against the wall.”

“Like sex?”

“Yeah. Like sex.”

You had so many questions, and not one of them felt appropriate. He just didn’t seem like the type of person who was well-suited to that particular line of work. Of course he was handsome, and there was that alluring, cruel nature that you found so beguiling, but his exterior was so rough and cold that you couldn’t imagine a lot of people getting past that.And with that thought, you wondered if he considered you to be that kind of person, someone who would shrug him off based on his demeanour, or worse, his looks. 

“Why were you so surprised about me wanting to hire you then?”

“Well, darlin’, you just don’t strike me as the wild type.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Means I usually only offer my talents to the people who want something a little weirder than what’s on offer elsewhere. Kinky folks, someone looking to get a bit freaky.”

“Huh…”

He didn’t know you well enough to make that judgement, and it smarted a little. And you were learning more about yourself too, because you were interested in him. Even before he’d revealed to you his line of work you’d been finding yourself stuck in a trance by Cooper. Of course you’d already reasoned that he would never be interested in you, but now that you know his affections could be bought…

“Is that all you brought?”

Speaking of money, Cooper had begun to rifle through the stash of caps that you had laid down on the dresser beside your backpack. 

“Uh… yeah. I thought that would be enough.”

“This would barely cover my fees, and you were gonna try and hire a bounty hunter for that? That is just about the stupidest god damn thing I’ve ever heard.”

You stepped to him purposefully, pulling the caps from him and putting them back into your bag. Even with your little quickfire crush, you found yourself irritated by his constant, snippy remarks. 

“Listen, I had no other choice. My settlement is struggling, this is all we had left after the raiders. I was hoping that someone would take a little bit of pity.”

“Sounds like the plot of some corny old cowboy movie.”

“Makes sense now, me thinking you were the bounty hunter, hm?”

Gesturing at his outfit with your hand, you let your eyes take him in from the floor up, and when your gaze settled on his face, you noticed him stepping closer, leaning into you. 

“I ain’t just some cowboy, missy. I am the cowboy.”

The way his voice lowered for emphasis, growling in his throat as he spat the words out at you with every intention, made your body flush with heat. A near immediate clenching formed in your gut, a tight coiling as you felt your saliva collecting against your cheeks. If you didn’t ask, you’d regret it forever. So you swallowed your nerves and spoke.

“So, can you do anything for me then?”

“I can do plenty, sweetheart. I can give you an earth-shattering orgasm and something to think about on your travels back to your little settlement. I cannot kill someone for you, but I can make you forget your troubles for a little while.”

“A-and… I have enough for that?”

Cooper grinned, more of a smug sneer than anything that resembled genuine happiness. 

“Are you asking to hire me for these other talents, then?”

“I guess so. Can I?”

“Hey, you got the money, then you’ve got me.”

You reached for your caps once again, handing them all over to him and watching as he put them into the pocket of his coat. All of it gone, in a moment of weakness over a man you’d just met. Before you could resent the decision too much, though, Cooper began shrugging off the long, duster jacket, your caps jingling as he did so. With it off, you could get a better look at his tarnished outfit underneath. He looked even more like a cowboy now. He hadn’t been lying before. Everything about him reminded you of those old holotapes you’d seen, the tarnished posters on the walls of buildings, or in the thankfully spared comic books you had been able to read. 

Noticing that you were just standing there, staring at him, Cooper broke the silence. 

“You look nervous, and I am a busy man. Shall I get things started?”

You weren’t even aware that you had started nodding until he was in front of you, fingers pulling at the material of your shirt and untucking it from your pants. He really wasn’t shy about it, no hesitation at all as he teased it up and over your head, already working on his own.As you stood there, awkward, exposed, he tossed his shirt to the side and began working on his belt, unbuckling it as you watched him. His body was lean, but not slim. The scarring on his face followed over his entire body, covering him completely. Each little line and ridge in his skin looked tempting, and you wanted nothing more than to run your fingers along him, to feel the texture against you. 

Cooper was quick to fulfil that desire, wrapping his arms around you as he worked at your pants. The embrace felt warm, and you couldn’t help but let your own hands travel around to his back, stroking up and down his spine as he pulled your pants down, letting them fall to your knees. As you stepped out of them, kicking them to the side, Cooper did the same, stopping briefly to take you in fully as you admired him in return. 

His cock was average in length, thicker than most, but what intrigued you most, once again, was the way it might feel against you. Ridged, tickling, with a stretch. You could feel yourself drooling at the thought, only pulled back to reality by Cooper’s voice.

“A quick disclaimer: you’re not going to get pregnant, and my blood kills diseases. I’m clean, so anything wrong with you, you can’t blame me.”

It was an oddly comforting statement, and solved a problem you hadn’t thought of until then. You nodded, standing in an awkward silence until Cooper spoke again.

“So, where do you want it?”

“I, uh… on the bed, I guess?”

“Well, that answers that question, but I meant my cock.”

“Oh! Maybe… uh… I…”

Cooper interrupted you, putting you out of your misery as you fumbled around for the right words and the bravery to ask for what you wanted. 

“Listen, just… lay on your back and spread your legs so I can get to your cunt. Nothing too adventurous for you, I think.”

You did as you were told, thankful for the instructions and his easy way of speaking them, even surprising yourself at how enjoyable you found the vulgar way he spoke to you. Everything about him was a little bit vulgar, though. But all the same, exciting and attractive, only fueling your arousal as you watched him spit on his hand, a long strand of drool connecting from his lips to his palm, before he stroked it along his cock. 

“You good?”

“Skill wise, or-”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes. Yes…”

With a roll of his eyes, not quite the look you had hoped for admittedly, Cooper lined the head of his cock up with your slit, pushing the tip past your folds and into your cunt with a soft groan. You were tight around him, stretched by his girth, and the way your fingers clawed at the mattress gave him a feeling of accomplishment already. 

Already, this felt different to him. You kept your eyes focused on him, when they weren’t closing against the pleasurable pain of him thrusting his cock into you. And not just to take in his body, instead, you were looking into his eyes. It felt like he was being seen for the first time in a long time. 

At one point, a soft smile crossed your lips, almost shy, and it pushed a grin to his own lips. It reminded him of someone from so long ago. Someone who looked up at him, body exposed to him, admiration and giddy glee in their chest. From that day, the last one. He couldn’t remember her name, but he remembered how she made him feel. She was sweet, and she saw him for who he was, not what he’d become. And given what he’d become now, he could be certain that it was the last time someone had seen Cooper, until you. 

Cooper grunted as he pushed himself deeper into you, up to the hilt, his hips pressing into you, hands on either side of your head against the bed. Everything about you was enticing. The soft giggles you let out, deep, breathy sighs as he worked at you, half-lidded eyes that sparkled with joy as they took him in. Usually, he was good for a solid half hour of pleasure, well worth the money he charged, but he could feel himself coming undone already. 

“Cooper… this is… you’re so good.”

Usually, he wasn’t one for speaking during sex, unless he was paid extra. But he indulged himself in your praise, wetting his lips and pushing past the grunts of exertion to ask for more. 

“Yeah? Tell me then, darlin’... tell me how good it feels.”

Your words spilled out with surprising ease, given how shy you had seemed. Kindness was clearly natural to you, and Cooper was incredibly grateful for it. It was beginning to feel like less of a job, a task, a need to get you fucked and out of the door and more of a genuinely pleasant experience for him. The more he considered how good it felt, to be touched, to be held, felt, appreciated for more than just fulfilling a kinky niche, the faster his rutting got. He wanted this to last, wanted the feeling of your cunt wrapped around his cock, your body warm under him, your eyes trained on his, to last for as long as possible, but it wasn’t easy to hold himself back. And it seemed less likely that you would be able to hold on either, as you had begun whimpering, fingernails scratching at the sheets, your hand finding his and clinging to it as you began to jerk your hips into him.

With a sharp hiss that opened into a shriek, you felt yourself reaching your climax, clenching around him as you quivered, your body electrified for those thirty seconds of extreme pleasure, your body overwhelmed with the sparking sensation that had you tingling all over.

When your breath was steady once again, you reached a hand up to Cooper’s cheek, holding it there and stroking his cheekbone with your thumb, enough energy left to utter one word.

“Wow.”

The way you uttered that one word was enough to push Cooper to his own orgasm. There was more kindness and genuine feeling in it than anything he’d heard in the past two hundred years. And as he felt himself being emptied inside of you, he couldn’t help but hit an incredible low, realising that it was over already, before he had begun to properly appreciate it. So he sank down into the mattress, rolling over and settling in next to you.

Laying there, your body cooling in the wet patch under it, you could barely speak, but you pushed past your heavy breaths to get at least one thing out.

“Thank you.”

Cooper kept himself as still as possible, letting his body come to a regulated pace, trying not to react to the words he was sure he had just heard you say.

“Thank you.”

No one had thanked him, for anything, for a long time. And least of all for his efforts in sex. The only reason he really made it, so to speak, was that he was a niche commodity in the world of sex. There to be used, to get off on or with, and then to leave again. And if he thought too hard about it, no one had ever thanked him before either. Not Barb. Not his co-stars. Not the directors who he performed for. No one. Was he actually good at it? Talented? Had he now fucked so much that he was an acceptable lay? Or were you just an outlier? Connected to him in a way that made it good? It seemed far more likely, given that he himself had found it far more pleasurable than anyone else in the last two hundred years. But that thought was a difficult one to process, so he rolled over in the bed in a bid to avoid those feelings, focusing so hard on the bare wall in front of him that he fell asleep remarkably swiftly.

Noticing that his breathing had slowed, a soft snore occasionally rumbling over his lips, you stood up from the bed and moved quietly and carefully to the sink in the corner, filled with old, stale water that felt cool against your skin. You didn’t want to risk waking Cooper, mostly because he looked like he needed the rest, but partly because you wondered what you would say, if anything, after what had just happened. So you took a seat to try and ground yourself.

From the chair in the corner of the room you watched him for a few more moments, perching there as you considered everything that had happened that day so far. A journey wasted, in some ways. But now you had an experience worth remembering, truly an adventure. It was almost difficult to imagine it as a one-off though. A singular event, never to happen again. And as you watched Cooper’s body moving slowly, inhaling and exhaling soundly in his sleep, you realised the thought was actually quite painful. And silly. You’d only just met him. He did this with so many people, and you weren’t special. It would be foolish to let yourself think that. How ridiculously typical would it be for some naïve country girl to find herself attached to her first one night stand, with a paid professional no less. So, rather than face those difficult thoughts any longer, you collected your things up, stopping only to reach into Cooper’s jacket and take enough caps back to pay for another room. At the bar, you were given another key, and you headed back up to try and get as much sleep as you could before making the decision about the next steps in the morning. 

[sirfrogsworth]

The Thinker (Dad Edition)

I just thought this photo was cool enough to deserve its own post.

My dad was never booksmart. Sometimes we'd make fun of him for that. Not in a mean way. He just always liked breaking things down to their simplest form and when something refused to be simple, that would frustrate him. Sometimes to comical effect.

But my dad had an amazing mind for fixing and building stuff. And his creative problem solving skills were unmatched in that genre. My favorite thing would be when he needed to solve a problem and there was nothing to buy, no product that would work, or the options were too expensive to be considered. He would tinker in his workshop and design and build prototypes. He'd go through several iterations until he found something that worked. And when he finally came up with something it would always be the simplest form of what it could be. He would remove any complication that did not contribute to the solution and end up with something elegant. And because my mom refused to put anything with poor aesthetics out on display for everyone to see, he would also have to make sure his inventions looked nice.

I'm a little frustrated because I know there are hundreds of examples from over the years and my brain is failing to think of a single one at the moment. The only one I can think of is the pitch-back mechanism he built for me. But that ended up being a giant hilarious failure. I talked about it in my speech at my dad's funeral service.

In any case, every time I use my problem solving prowess I always thank my dad for teaching me how to think creatively in that way.

[transfemlogan]

Transcription:

"'(How do you feel about) Janus? It's hard being the only ones holding the only braincell between the two of you.' Or, it- it is- it- 'is it hard being the ones holding the only braincell between the two of you?' Yeah, Janus, Janus— I think is somebody who I'm, I'm, sort of ambivalent against. I know janus has his own antics and i don't appreciate when he does things against what could be helped for thomas, but a lot of the times he does things in the best self interest of thomas that... nobody else is currently thinking of. And sometimes... Occums razor: the most simplest solution to helping Thomas, is him, specifically, helping himself. And if that means him listening to... old snake boy, over there then... I'm for it! And... he does have a good taste in wine, so we do appreciate each other's company in that sense. But, I'm not a gossiper and he is... and I don't really partake in that. (Clears throat) alright. So—"

[aishnico]

#𝙎𝙇𝘼𝙎𝙃: 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳

» summary: you tried various ways to save your marriage. and just when you gave up, all of your world turned upside down

» word count: 2.7k

» warnings: angst, london and cash are your sons, cheating, grammar issues

late 00’s

"so, is he coming or..?"

"i don't know." you simply replied and buried your face in your palms. "he said he'll try to come but, i don't think he will."

"it's been 8 sessions. 8 weeks, that means 2 months. you two have been coming here for two months and," your therapist softly sighed, trying to find suitable words. "i believe he hasn't tried to change your shared, troublesome situation. since the beginning."

you rubbed your temples. "so you're saying that he had made up his mind a long time ago?"

"i'm afraid so." you both sat in silence.

you and your husband, saul, had problems in your marriage. and since you wanted to save it, you tried to find various ways. cooking his favorite dishes more often, helping him with the simplest and hardest things, listening very carefully about his day, job, tour, seducing him, and having sex more often...

but those acts didn't change too much. so for the final solution, you found a marriage therapist and started your sessions. as time went by, he started to not join you sometimes and you've been coming here all alone for a month now.

"i tried everything i could. i tried to show him my love for him in various ways. with more acts of service, more physical touch, more quality time, more words of affirmation... i don't know what should i do now. should i rip myself out? will this be enough for him?"

"no, of course not. even though his love for you ended, it doesn't mean he wants to see you harmed."

"i... i think i know the reason. i'm just, not pretty anymore."

"nonsense. you know i only say things you need to hear, not what you want to hear. and i'm saying, you look mesmerizing by your age. it's not about look."

"then what is it?!" you raised your voice a little bit with teary eyes. suddenly your stomach started to hurt your insides. your therapist looked at you with pitiful eyes.

"i couldn't manage to get to know him enough to say this but, maybe he just doesn't want to be tied to responsibilities about his family?”

"i don't want it to end." you hopelessly mumbled and tried to calm yourself and your body down.

"[name], it doesn't matter if you want to continue or not, he already ended it a long time ago."

"we have kids. we have two sons."

"that's just improving my point."

you didn't say anything in return. you just closed your eyes and started to assimilate things you don't want to still accept. and a sudden disgusting urge was alerting you again.

you stood up and covered your mouth. "i need to go to the bathroom." then left the room in a rush.

after a couple of minutes, you returned completely unbothered.

"are you okay?" your therapist asked worriedly.

"yeah, it was just a throw-up. i'm sick these nowadays. flu, you know?"

"i don't think throwing up is a symptom of flu."

"no, trust me. my stomach is sensitive. it pains in the slightest illness. maybe that's why saul doesn't want me. i'm like an old lady now."

"[name], we talked about this by just now. and you shouldn't have come here.."

"don't worry, it's fine. i'm heading home straight."

"that's good, take care of yourself."

"thanks, you too. it was nice to talk with you these past months."

"same goes for me." you two hugged and you opened the door. and saw your youngest son, cash, laying his head on his older brother's, london's, shoulder. and london was playing with a phone. when he saw both of you, he gently pushed his brother's face away and stood up in front of you.

"thanks for the phone, ma'am." he gave the phone to your therapist. "you have cool games on there.

"wha- london! when did you- you should've asked mine instead!" you scolded him.

"it's alright."

"yeah. besides, your phone is boring, mom."

"yeah yeah, go wake your brother."

london gently shook cash's shoulder a few times. he then slowly opened his eyes. god, he was looking like an angel. both of your boys were looking like angels in front of your eyes.

"mommy, can we go now?" he asked with a sleepy voice.

"yes sweetheart, we're heading out now." you offered your hands to your sons and both of them immediately held it.

"can we go to mc donalds?" cash asked excitedly.

"we have food at home." you simply replied.

both of them snorted. "you're so boring..." he mumbled.

"uh huh," you shrugged off.

"meegan is way funnier than you," london added.

"yeah sure. wait, who's m-" your voice had cut off since you suddenly fell on your knees and the earlier urge was hitting you again with pain. and before you realize your body has become unconscious.

"mom!"

you slowly opened your eyes at a hospital. you didn't think the situation might end here. while still trying to wake up, you heard two voices of children.

"mom, you're awake!" london cheered and hugged you without harm.

"i'm so sorry mommy, we shouldn't have said them." cash jumped on your stomach and you let out a low whine.

"it's okay, we're all good." you both caressed their hair and planted a kiss on each of their head.

"all right boys," a doctor entered the room with a smile. "i think we need to talk with your mommy so..." she showed the door to them.

"nuh uh, we're not leaving mommy." london tightened his grip on you and frowned. "yeah!" cash supported him.

"boys, you know mommy's been sick a few weeks. i need to speak with the doctor to know what's wrong with me. it won't take so long, okay?"

they both sighed heavily and looked at you with big puppy brown eyes. "okay..." they both walked out of the room.

"are you feeling any pain right now?" the doctor approached you and asked. you shook off your head.

"good, what's your complaint?"

"it's just um, my stomach. i started to throw up frequently even though the food was not the problem, or my work/sleep schedule. and stomach spasms..."

"huh, i would want to say it might be flu or cold but the problem is not in your throat or nose. are you periods regularly? when was the last time you had?"

"it was like..." you stopped. "i, don't remember. maybe more than a month? but skipping a week shouldn't be a big problem."

"sure, it happens. are you active in sexual activities?"

"i used to be. like a month ag- wait, no. no, no, no, no... it can't be."

"why not?"

"i'm in my 40's. i can't bear a child. it's a low chance."

"like you said yourself. it's a chance."

you grabbed the sheets tightly and grimaced. you? pregnant? only when pigs fly from now.

"i gave birth to two children. i birthed the eldest one with my womb, but with the youngest one, i had to do cesarean. i had no choice. and since then i have had regular stomach spasms. and right now i'm going through a rough time with my husband. it's so stressful for me. can those might be the causes of my pain?"

"of course they can. but don't forget, women who had cesarean can get pregnant again and even can give birth with their wombs."

you felt cold sweats dripping down from the top of your head.

"it's okay. like you said, the causes might be personal too. rest now."

"can i talk with my sons?"

"sure." the woman replied before opening the door for them. your sons immediately returned to their first place.

"we were so worried about you, mom." london expressed with a gloomy tone. he was lying on the left side of your lap while cash was lying on the other side. he has already fallen asleep.

"i'm sorry, angel. but i'm completely fine right now, trust me."

"we even called dad."

you furrowed your eyebrows. "dad? and what did he say?"

"he said he's on the way, gonna pick all of us."

"good. maybe we can go to mc donalds."

"you said we have food at home."

"ha ha, yeah i forgot. didn't you guys say i'm boring?"

"well, not completely. we're just saying this when we don't get what we want."

"who's that meegan by the way?" you mentioned this again.

"huh, who?" it was cute how he was pretending like he didn't know.

"london..." you give him a small smile and looked directly into his eyes. he immediately turned his head away.

"i can't- ugh... i broke a promise." he pouted.

"what, promise? listen, baby. i'm going through a difficult time and i'm expecting you to help me a little bit."

"fine, one day when you weren't home, me and cash went downstairs and saw dad with a black-haired woman on the couch. her name is meegan. when we asked who she was he told us that she was an old friend of yours and dad wanted to make a surprise for you. so we promised to not tell you anything."

you were utterly in shock and too stunned to speak. saul, was using your sons, to hide his new plaything? you've never met someone named meegan, so who was she?

"mom..?"

"oh," you didn't realize you zoned out. "i'm sorry, sweetie. i was just trying to remember who was she."

"have you remembered?"

"uh, i don't think so. you know what? let's pretend that we didn't have this conversation just now. i didn't hear anything nor know anything. alright?" you winked at him.

he smiled and nodded. just in time, your husband rushed into the room with a sweaty, frightened face.

"[name]..." he walked toward you with big steps and hugged you tightly. like never wanting to let you go, or it was just your delusions.

"are you okay?" he asked worriedly and pulled himself off you. he put his calloused hands on your cheeks and gently caressed them.

"i'm completely fine. i just passed out, nothing more." you gave him a fake smile.

"i was so scared, i'm sorry." his voice was shakening.

"for what? you didn't do anything wrong. i'm fine, saul. believe me."

he sighed and looked deeply into your eyes. "if you say so," he looked at the boys who were lying on your lap. "i hope they didn't give you any trouble."

london immediately looked at you with pleading eyes. you pinched his cheek. "how could they? they're my little pumpkins." you kissed both of the tops of their heads. london giggled and cash smiled at his sleepy situation. then suddenly saul's phone rang out. he looked at the screen and put it inside his pocket.

"uh, do you need anything?" he asked.

you thought for a second then replied. "a tea would be nice."

"okay, i will get one for you." he stood up but you stopped him.

"hey saul, can you go there with boys, please?"

"sure, but why?"

"i need to do something, important."

a couple of days passed since your accident. and the atmosphere of the home was fickle. when the boys weren't at home, you wouldn't speak to saul unless it's necessary. and he wasn't minding it at all. some days he would sleep on the couch, some days you. but then you would wake up in your bedroom all alone and would see saul's uncomfortable position on the couch.

you wondered how long he could keep his secret from you. he really was thinking that you were stupid. how could he? you've been together since the middle of 90's. you spend almost 15 years with him and just because you don't look like you first met now, he threw out all of them away.

he was the cause of your body and mental pains. and he was pretending like you did all of these to yourself. days ago, you didn't want to accept that your marriage was over. but now, you're ready to sign the divorce papers.

but you need him. you need him, especially after the call you received from the hospital. that was the time to face the truth about your situation.

you got ready to head outside and saw saul and the boys sitting on the couch, watching sponge bob.

"i'm going outside!" you informed them and went to the door.

"mom, can you buy some snacks please?" cash asked excitedly.

"we'll see, be good, boys!"

"hey," you heard saul's voice from behind. "when you'll be back?"

"i don't know, maybe an hour?" you shrugged.

"good. i would like to speak with you after your arrival. would you like me to take you there?"

"i'm good, thank you."

"well, see you then. be careful."

it's been 2 hours now since you left the home. not wanting to go there at all after the truth you learned about yourself. but it was already dark and they would probably search for you if you were a little later.

you took a deep breath and slowly knocked at the door. a couple of seconds later you heard heavy steps approaching to door. saul opened the door with a sign of relief.

"have you thought about coming home?" was the first thing he asked.

you turned your head to the wall clock. it was 10 pm.

"since i'm here now, it means i did." you took the coat off you and went to your bedroom. of course, he was following you.

"are boys sleeping?" you asked. and remembered that they wanted some snacks from you.

"yeah, they waited for you all night. said that they were not going to sleep until your arrival. but eventually, they fall asleep."

you just hummed in response, not looking into his eyes. but you knew he was staring at you right now.

"can we talk now?" he asked.

"sure, i wanted to talk too."

"okay, go ahead, then."

"no, please, you go first. i'm listening."

he took a deep breath and started. "look [name], we spent almost 15 years together. and in all of these years, even though we had conflicts often, i was really happy with you. i appreciate so much how you were both in my best and worst moments. you made me the happiest man in the world by making me a dad twice." you already knew where this speech was going.

"but, i don't feel the same connection between us anymore. it's not because you've become sick since cash's birth, or not because you're unattractive. it's not even true. i just, don't feel the same anymore."

you couldn't help but laugh. "i'm sorry, but i think i know the reason behind this. i'm just a boring, dull woman, right?"

his lips were in a straight line, giving you a half-apologetic smile.

"it's okay, you're not the first one to say this. the boys told me too."

"you're a good person and a mom too."

"sure. when will you mention that meegan?"

"how do you know?" he asked shockingly.

"do you really think i'm stupid?" you joked. not wanting to give away your older son.

"you know my nature, i can't stick to something so long. believe me, i wanted to stick at our marriage and family forever. but i was just fooling myself. i'm looking for new excitements. and i found this excitement in meegan. i'm sorry."

you deeply sighed and chewed on your bottom lip. not sure what to say.

"i want a divorce." he said while giving you an already signed paper. you hesitantly took it from him and glanced at the paper.

you held your tears back. you both need to be separate but why is it hurting so damn much? he's leaving you when you need him most.

"i'm going to the bathroom." you muttered and put the paper away but he was fast enough to catch your wrist.

"please don't go. i really want to settle these all now. you said you wanted to talk too. please tell me what's on your mind."

you got hesitate to tell him or not. but there was no point in hiding it now. so you gently removed his hand from yours and got your bag. after unzipping it and grabbing a piece of paper, you passed it to him.

"i'm pregnant."

[eri-lessthan3]

Hey you

all of you complaining about tumblr live

Seethe and cope 😎

Okay but seriously

Get yourself the Stylus extension For Firefox users: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-GB/firefox/addon/styl-us/ and for everyone else: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/stylus/clngdbkpkpeebahjckkjfobafhncgmne

Get the Old Tumblr Dashboard Style: https://userstyles.world/style/11286/old-tumblr-dashboard-2023

You should get this stuff even if you don't plan to remove tumblr live :3 Now here is where the magic comes from:

Stylus allows you to add custom css styles to websites, and you can edit themes made by other people to fit your needs!

See that little fucker? How about we fuckin g kill it?

Press f12 to open the Developer Tools (or however it is called lmao)

Click on this little guy

Now you can select an element on the website, and it will show where it is in the html!

3. Point

Click on it, and now we will see something like this in the inspector!

Collapse a bunch of this stuff, since here we only care about the list items, or <li>

These are the different buttons in the banner

Now, how do we fucking kill that guy?

There are a number of ways to do this, so let's start with the simplest one

Delete

Just select the list item that has the title "Live" and press delete!

So it is gone now, right?

Well... not really. If you refresh the page, it is back. Which makes sense, since the only thing we did is remove that part of the "code" (if you can call html "code"), but when we refreshed it, the server gave us a version of the site that obviously had the button still there.

So what is a smarter way to get rid of it?

While you can't really delete a specific part of the site with just css, you can hide it! To do that, all you have to do is apply the style display: none;

Like that! While it doesn't fix the problem with the refresh, it brings us closer to the solution.

Remember when we got Stylus? yeah!

Go inside of it (😳), and inside the Old tumblr dashboard theme (😳😳), and now we just need to apply the css style of "remove that fucker" to the specific list item. How do we do that, since we can't add it directly into html? We use the attribute selector, and we look for title="Live"!

Where do I write this????

Well, css applies the styles from top to bottom of the style sheet (usually, this post is already too long), and you see how the list item has a few classes assigned to it? It so happens that they also modify the display property, so we have to override it by putting our selector after those in the css sheet... so basically you can just write the thingie at the end 😅

Here is how the attribute selector works!

the .IYr09 part is that specific class, so that if there is ever something on this page that has the title="Live" but isn't what we are looking for, it won't apply there (You don't need to do this, but whatever). The attribute selector is written in the square brackets, and you just... write the attribute that you are looking for there ;P

(I also did the same for the Explore button, but that can be an exercise for the interested ;P)

And now, BEHOLD

(How am I so popular that I got dms during the making of this >.&lt;)

And it will stay like this, forever*

*except if something happens to the addon, theme, css of it or whatever, but you get the point!

[morningdewer]

Gojo could've never have a happy ending because that possibility died with Suguru Geto. No one else would have the courage to love him so genuinely, nor would he ever be able to love anyone else once again. Only they were the strongest. Nothing could've hurt them, therefore nothing would have the power to separate them except, of course, themselves. Loving Suguru was not only inevitable but also the simplest thing.

How cruel to have to be the one in charge of killing someone who represents everything you had always looked for and that you so feared did not exist; somebody who didn't saw him as an untouchable god, but as a human. And I find it ironic that Gojo's purpose is to keep everyone safe and the only person he failed to save was the one he cares about the most.

Oh, and the audacity to appear in the afterlife in his teenage self. Those two didn't care what role they had to play in the world, the only thing they wanted was to spend as much time as possible together, and because of that their story hurts more since that last chapter. It breaks my heart to see how easy it was for them to talk as if nothing had ever happened, because that means that, despite everything, there was always a possibility of a solution. I don't doubt that Gojo would have cared very little about Suguru's crimes.

And then there's where his happy ending is; They finally have the opportunity to love each other with total freedom. It no longer matters who is the strongest because there is no one else to save, and although the world still needs Gojo Satoru, he now has what he's been needing most in the last years; his best friend, his first and last warm spring of youth, his one and only, sitting right next to him.

Their story is full of obstacles and impossibilities. And while I personally don't give up the hopes that Gojo will come back, I wouldn't be surprised if he decided not to.