#only 26 outside

[smute]

the whole day ive been feeling so headachey and lethargic and just meh and i couldnt figure out whats wrong. anyway i just checked my thermometer and it's 30°C in here 😭

[skunkes]

biggest downside of not having many experiences or meeting many people is not having anything to feed into the art machine

[heartcircus]

okay, so . the IOUs zam owes from last season:

initially, they were offered to reddoons, squiddo, 4c, and spep in exchange for their blessings/curses in the "a deal with the princezam" stream and the "deals deals deals!" stream. around this time, zam supposedly gave these same offers, while off stream, to pangi, jaron, and terrain as well.

woogie was then later offered 1 IOU when zam first revealed that he was playing on pangi's account, requesting that he didn't tell anyone about it. after that, the only other deal made that i could find was to leo for his login info on the final day.

out of all of those deals, only 5 accepted and actually completed their end of the deal. those being red, pangi, woogie, spep, and leo. red and spep's offers were bumped from 1 IOU to 3 during negotiations. however due to spep betraying during the big pb&j vs. playersTM fight, spep’s was lowered back down to 1. pangi's was done off stream but purely based on context i assume it's only 1 IOU? (or they traded login info ? idk it's one of the two).

during the finale, zam also mentioned that he offered 2 more IOUs to red if he logged on immediately to curse jumper with glowing (1:23:27 in "the finale day" roshambo vod (may 25th)) . yea .

so, from what i can gather: zam owes reddoons something between 3-5 IOUs, spep 1, pangi 1, woogie 1, and leo 1.

[nico-di-genova]

Zak Brown is the Leonardo DiCaprio of racing and I’m praying for his downfall.

[deadleafpard]

i’ve said it before but i can’t find the post so i’m saying it again, to the person that invented the heated blanket, i am kissing you on the mouth

[dykedvonte]

benny was also like incredibly abusive to yes man and kept him trapped in that shitty side room. it’s no wonder yes man genuinely loves the courier regardless of if they make decisions he likes or not after being liberated from benny. courier must be an angel to him

I think incredibly abusive is a bit much.

Like Benny was not kind to Yes-Man but he was not particularly cruel. If Yea-Man was let out of the room then anyone could’ve asked him anything and outed the plan, leading to him and Benny being exiled at best or killed (permanently in Yes-Mans case) at worse. Yeah, it was Benny’s fault he was like this but it was probably the only fail safe to keep House’s systems from tapping into Yes-Man, by giving him no code to reject commands the only way to influence him would be in person. House can’t do that.

Also liberated makes it sound like you are treating Yes-Man like an equal when you’re just treating him slightly better than most would treat a personalized Mr. Handy bot. Benny isn’t nice to him, didn’t give him a real name, but he definitely loved Yes-Man, more like a science project but that was his thing y’know? Robots with personalities like him that aren’t common in the Mojave and are considered odd. Benny already did a lot more than someone who’d just mistreat his creation by allowing him to be passive-aggressive in the first place. He let Yes-Man think which a big step from most AI programs in the Mojave.

I think the issue is Yes-Man genuinely appreciates the Courier for getting the plan in motion but that wasn’t a lack of Benny. He had completely different circumstances than the Courier that didn’t allow him to be as bold. Yes-Man learns to love the Courier because they come to rule Vegas and he sees them as competent and the next logical leader now that Benny is no longer his primary overseer.

Honestly the Courier and Yes-Man are closer to a exclusive business partnership by the end of the independent route if we go by the general answers. The Courier can be as nice or as mean to Yes-Man as they want and Yes-Man does not see the Courier as flawless or an angel just the next logical step in a plan. Of course, depending on what you do or headcanon, their relationship can be much more complex than that but on a even ground between all of the options, Yes-Man and the Courier are means to an end to each other.

A popular theory before New Vegas had the current fandom it did and developer commentary was that Yes-Man was going to betray you at the end of the independent route. Lying that he’d just upgrade himself to only listen to you so you wouldn’t stop him. Some people still follow it despite it being debunked while other love the idea he genuinely only wants to listen to you.

It’s all up to interpretation my dear. I personally don’t think Benny was cruel to Yes-Man not more than he is to another Chairman. He’s a robot, of course, to Benny and that has its own connotations on how he was treated but I digress. The Courier is far from an angel or saint to anyone but I do like the idea that there’s a fondness from Yes-Man. Lee so how they can be so illogically efficient rather than what they’ve done fore him.

[cranberrymoons]

.

[whimsycore]

Sometimes I feel bad about moving out but then I have moments when I remember anytime I start talking my mother literally interrupts me to talk about anything else and continuously does it until I change the subject

[i-am-become-a-name]

got an email at 7am this morning signed from "Rassilon" and just sighed so mightily because it was too early for that sort of nonsense. apotheosis this, gallifreyan supremacy that, please I've still got half an hour before having to get up for work.

[reinemichele]

I'm in a Lot of pain, & I'm allergic to some things my neighbors use (that has seeped into the carpet/furniture -> it seeps into my hair) & it always makes me really sick (IE dizziness, fever, intense brain fog, headache/migraine, nausea, congestion, wheezing & difficulty breathing, hives, itching/burning eyes and throat, contact dermatitis -> anything I touch can cause hives including my clothes or hair, etc etc etc...) and it basically requires 1-2 showers a day and shampooing my hair 2-3 times per shower to get it out of my hair so I can have an hour or two of thinking clearly and breathing without difficulty... But showering multiple times per day for 4-5 days takes a lot of energy, which is already eaten up by my histamines and immune system working overtime + me trying to function through that laundry list of symptoms

I've tried talking to my neighbors about this multiple times, but... they either just don't understand, or they don't believe me. Most people don't believe me when I say what I'm allergic to, which is why I'm being vague here. I've tried to tell them to find a new petsitter, but I'm afraid they'd just take their dog to a kennel... He's around 10 or 11 now, and I just don't want that for him :( So when they text me asking if I can petsit a week before they leave [and don't have much time to find a new petsitter], I say yes

Anyway, because of the pain I'm in and finding out it's scoliosis, my mom insisted that I don't spend more than 1 hour at a time at our neighbors' house, and just go and check on them periodically. I feel bad doing that, but... my neighbors are only gone for 3 days this time, so it's not like I'm leaving them to be lonely for an entire week.

Anyway 2.0 . ALL of this to say lol that even tho I've only been over at my neighbors for 1 hour at a time and spending most of the day here, my cats are making it known that they don't like me being gone and miss me 😭 Ali is using her "sad wet pathetic widdle baby" meow, which she usually reserves for when I close the bathroom door, Kacey meows sadly when I go near the front door, and Bailey spent like an entire 5 minutes purring, drooling (happily), and insistently rubbing his cheek (scent glands) all over my hand this morning. I was like, "Aw, you don't want me to smell like anyone but you."

It's very sweet, even tho like I said I've spent most of the time here and only 45 minutes to an hour at my neighbors' before coming back home for 3-5 hours. It makes me sad that people still insist that cats are unloving/indifferent to humans. Every cat out there has the potential to be this openly affectionate, they just need to be shown that humans are trustworthy. And there's other forms of affection from cats, like slow blinking and just sitting in the same room with you, silently enjoying your company. You just need to be patient and meet them halfway, when it comes to reading body language and initiating affection first 💞

[feline-evil]

Sick and unwell over how often it looks like kaz's lip trembles or his jaw clenches with emotion, god they really put all that detail and time into facial capture data and animation to include tongues moving to annunciate and muscles in the face reacting to the slightest twitch just to torture me in particular over one deeply emotional blonde man i think

[astriiformes]

It's definitely... interesting to look at the evolution of the type of characters whose narratives hit me the hardest, because there's a very real shift over time that corresponds pretty glaringly my own life experiences.

When I was younger (high school and into early college) I had a tendency to latch onto bright, eccentric genius characters, not just for their positive traits but also because I was awkward and often lonely and struggled socially, and felt like I could project that onto them easily while still feeling good about myself. There were very real reasons beyond just wanting to feel smart, but I still tied a lot of weighty mental importance and self-identity to characters like the Doctor, and Newt Geiszler, and Ford Pines, in ways that absolutely influenced things like my future career goals and college choices

--and as someone who ultimately fell short of that brilliant academic archetype, in the long run I think it did a lot of damage. I won't say that seeing myself in those characters was exclusively a bad thing (it helped me figure out I was autistic, for one thing, as well as recognize elements of my personality that are also very real during a formative period), but I do have sort of an awkward relationship with how I used to feel about them vs how I feel about them now.

There wasn't a huge transitional phase. I think the main character I can point to as a sort of pivot point might be Percy de Rolo, who still fits the brilliant eccentric archetype but is much more glaringly mentally ill and ultimately ends up on a very different path than he started on by the end of his story. That smug desire to be the smartest person in the room is very much still there, but it wasn't the main reason I latched onto him. And I don't think it's coincidental my biggest CR1 phase hit after I dropped out of school the second time.

Since then, my favorite characters have been...... different. There's Fjord, who picked the wrong patron, totally ruined his life for a bit, and then slowly rebuilt his self-esteem with the guidance of a friend, a new god, and a better calling. Hunter, who was driving himself to the point of a complete breakdown trying to live up to unreasonable standards, and Lilith who made questionable life choices that put her in a similar position prior to a full-on midlife crisis in her 40s. Harrow, who's brilliant and powerful but also completely broken for it and would have been better off if she didn't feel like she had to constantly apologize for existing. And now I'm having a lot of feelings about Andreas, who starts out as a university drop-out going through a total career shift and is clearly somewhat insecure about it who then.... well..... [gestures]

Even when I do like smart or particularly gifted characters, it's for totally different reasons. I like Raine because they're awkward and anxious but still willing to stand up for what's right, and have had a real impact on how I think about my gender and helped reignite my love of performing music. When I first read Gideon the Ninth, I spent a good chunk of the book thinking about how my younger self would have latched onto Palamedes instantly, whereas with my experiences now I almost felt wary to, before ultimately deciding I actually liked him because he was kind, had a strong moral compass, and deeply loved someone who was chronically ill.

And it's not like it's more virtuous to like characters for the reasons I do now, but for me, personally it's certainly healthier to have my preferred archetype be "people who have tried and failed (but aren't giving up)," and it's been a bit of a trip watching that shift happen when for so long I felt so differently.

[tariah23]

236 is my 9/11-

[agenderhyde]

cold weather means snuggles

[purple-is-great]

Keeping the window open to a crack while i sleep would be an excellent way of getting the temperature somewhat tolerable, but as i discovered last night i unfortunately need to keep it closed because there are so many pheasants here. And they love nothing more than screaming at the top of their lungs while i try to sleep

[dingusships]

bigass vent over general life things

things in general are really not great i don't really have any optimism for the future or making a life for myself. like i don't really have any drive or ambition to look forward or work towards anything good/meaningful because as time goes on there are going to be really bad life events that i just don't think i can keep facing anymore. and theyre going to be worse. i'm just dragging along life solely on the basis that i was plopped here to just Exist and that's my task at hand that i'm reluctantly upholding. just exist until it's over