#online dating profile

[onlinedatingadventures]

I really liked this. It made me laugh.

(And it wasn't "Head to the Winchester" which is a huge plus.)

[rustbeltjessie]

Rust Belt Jessie’s NaPoWriMo 2023 Prompts: #21

resumé or online dating profile (or both!)

For this one, I want you to write a poem in the form of a resumé or online dating profile, or some hybrid of both (i.e. a “dating resumé”).

Obviously, since this is a poem and not an actual attempt to get someone to date or hire you, you can take liberties. You know, list weird shit, not just “I like long walks on the beach and playing with my dog” or “I am proficient in Microsoft Excel and Adobe Photoshop” or what-have-you. It might be beneficial to look up some examples/templates of resumés and/or dating profiles; you could even plug in some of the actual categories/topics/questions you find, but respond to them in a poetic way. (Another possibility is to write a resumé that has nothing to do with work, or a dating profile that has nothing to do with romance.)

You can either write this one as a persona poem, or as yourself.

Speaking of persona vs. self: In an earlier exercise, I briefly touched on the fact that even your most autobiographical poem is still not 100% autobiographical. At least—not in the way an autobiography would be. The lyric ‘I’ is not the same as the ‘I’ that is you; even if you are writing from your own point of view. For one thing, no one has just one personality/persona*; you behave and speak differently depending on whether you’re at work, at school, at home, with friends, with family, etc.**

In this way, the ‘I’ in every poem is not you***, or not all of you, even if it’s your POV; and every poem is (kinda sorta) a persona poem.****

And, really, what better way to explore this concept than in a resumé or dating profile? After all, in both those formats, what you leave out is as important as what you put in; in both those forms, you are basically cosplaying as a version (the most employable and/or most dateable) of yourself.

Recommended reading:

Resumé (by Dorothy Parker—this poem comes with a suicide content warning; just in case you’ve somehow never read it)

A Poet’s Online Dating Profile (by Pamela Denyes)

—

*I mean, maybe you do? If so, I can’t relate.

**Do I contradict myself? / Very well then I contradict myself, / (I am large, I contain multitudes.) —Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”’

***I is another. —Arthur Rimbaud

****Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. —Oscar Wilde

(This exercise is from my ebook of NaPoWriMo prompts, which can be found here.)

[bi-buckrights]

WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the tags y'all, loved your snippets (as always) 💕 @loserdiaz @heartshapedvows @@hoodie-buck @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks

Here is a little snippet of a silly little fic I started last night (which is the most writing I've done in a month 🙃) pls validate me because my brain has been broken since I posted my last fic

First of all, Eddie never even wanted to download the damn dating app. The only reason his account even exists is because two hefty glasses of wine at Hen and Karen’s had lowered his inhibitions just enough that he rolled his eyes and handed his phone over to them to get them to shut up about getting him back out there. Secondly, the guy staring back at him on his screen is definitely not the type of guy that Eddie would swipe right on, even if he were remotely interested in dating someone from this app. But he’s had a few more glasses of wine since they set up his profile, and the guy is fucking hot. “Oh shit,” he says by accident when the guy’s profile shows up. The words escape his lips before he can stop them, taken aback by the perfectly chiseled abs on his screen, a sheen of sweat glimmering on his skin. Hen looks up from her phone, eyebrows raised. “No one has pulled that reaction from you yet.” Before he can respond, Eddie feels his mouth drop open as he scrolls through the guy’s profile. Ex-stripper turned med student. Willing to trade lap dances for a nice message. Here for a rotation. Hen and Karen crowd beside him to get a glimpse at his phone and immediately burst out laughing. Eddie blames the wine for the blush he feels creeping up his neck.

Tagging @hippolotamus @rogerzsteven @monsterrae1 @prettyboybuckley @giddyupbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @eowon

[myopicry]

how does one make a good hinge profile grrr.

[harbingersecho]

"... we'll photoshop it."

[samrut]

How would you describe Liet’s ideal type? What does he look for in a partner? What personality traits and physical features is he attracted to?

I'd like to know everyone's thoughts. 🤔

[feeshies]

i know someone like me can't afford to be too picky when it comes to dating, but i think i developed a new dating profile pet peeve and it's:

when someone writes like they're already assuming the worst of you and now you have to prove them wrong

[dearvoidgoodnight]

“She’s got all the qualities you’re looking for. She has no idea what she’s doing.”

-Sandi Toksvig

[rabbithaver]

counterpoint: Spin-off sub of r/sonicspotting called r/bigwatching "hey i found this really big cat fishing at my local lake, fished with him for a bit he was really chill"

oh my god this is genius. im obsessed with it.

r/bigwatching posts are just selfies people have taken with Big and the fish he's caught

[teddykaczynski]

nobody wants me bc im unemployed

[mnemo-sick]

trying to make an online dating profile when I have a flip phone and therefore zero pictures of myself is. hard

[areyouafraidofdating]

IFYKYK 🇫🇷🍆🍆🍆

[goldennika]

no but seeing that this girl i met on bumble bff last year(?) has me on her close friends list on instagram despite never having met yet irl and our interactions are mostly just reacting/commenting to each other’s ig stories about music and food was the little boost i didn’t know i needed after my recent bumble date matches fizzled out 🥹

[1-800-dreamgirl]

honestly I don't think I could ever date someone who's too online, my preference lies with no tiktok, no twitter and 30 followers on instagram

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[djdangerlove]

Dj I’m begging you to make Eddie memes with the Vatican approved psd from the cleansing hour, like just a picture of Bobby with Vatican approved Ryan on top