#resumé

[indieyuugure]

Was skimming through pictures of ‘87 Shredder and found this piece of TMNT gold

Seriously, though, the best you can, read Rocksteady’s resumé!

Not only is it hand written in rainbow crayon, but all of his “past experience” is just various wars from the 90s to the early 2010s 😂 also “Iraq” and “Iraq Part 2” is on there which had me laughing for a good 5 minutes.

idk why this is so hilarious to me but I love the level of detail put into this it’s just…I’d just like to take a moment to appreciate this.

[ineffectualdemon]

Because this genuinely stayed my hand a huge number of times in my youth I want to share this poem

Resumé By Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren’t lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live.

[bun-parade]

It's wild to me how ridiculously expensive it is to live in the US on your own. You have to have a roommate or a live-in partner to split bills (both of which I've tried and it always ends terribly). The only way you can live on your own and not live paycheck to paycheck is if you have a high paying job. And those don't hire often, and when they do, they're super picky.

Not to mention even getting a job that isn't retail-based is its own form of Hell. Between recruiters/companies ghosting job applicants, AI resume picking bots trained to toss out "ethnic" sounding names and cherry picking keywords, & redundant application processes (you apply on LinkedIn, only to be redirected to another website to submit your resume, only to find out that you still have to manually input your entire resume), what are we supposed to do? How is anyone supposed to survive like this?

[nando161mando]

So it’s finally come to this…

[aestheteasteria]

How do you build your LinkedIn profile and find internships? Help your girl out

[fieriframes]

[You don't wanna be the one who has to pay for it. You don't wanna be the one who has to change. All you want is what the resumé tells you. I don't wanna play your video game.]

[midnights-wish]

currently updating & redesigning my resumé and wondering why in hell so much about how to do it has changed since last time. it used to be so easy

[animeliz82]

[betweenheroesandvillains]

“poems that helped you survive” except it’s the poem that keeps helping me survive which is plain old “resumé” by dorothy parker

[reaperlou2lou]

Anyone have any resume tips?

Job looking is hell without one and I’d love you for it

[unofficialchronicle]

Two really helpful articles for writing your resume and making it awesome!

Action verbs for your resume: https://uk.indeed.com/career-advice/cvs-cover-letters/action-verbs-to-make-your-cv-stand-out

Adjectives for your resume: https://uk.indeed.com/career-advice/cvs-cover-letters/cv-adjectives

[nando161mando]

AchievementOnResume

[meeshnut]

I justo saw the best job hunting advice:

Essentially, if asked to explain a gap in your resume

You reply “I cannot. I signed an NDA.”

🙌🏻

Amazing. I’ve been bending over backwards to stretch the truth on my resume for YEARS to hide gaps. Now I don’t have to work so hard to fib. 😂

[fieriframes]

[You don't wanna be the one who has to pay for it. You don't wanna be the one who has to change. All you want is what the resumé tells you. I don't wanna play your video game.]

[rustbeltjessie]

Rust Belt Jessie’s NaPoWriMo 2023 Prompts: #21

resumé or online dating profile (or both!)

For this one, I want you to write a poem in the form of a resumé or online dating profile, or some hybrid of both (i.e. a “dating resumé”).

Obviously, since this is a poem and not an actual attempt to get someone to date or hire you, you can take liberties. You know, list weird shit, not just “I like long walks on the beach and playing with my dog” or “I am proficient in Microsoft Excel and Adobe Photoshop” or what-have-you. It might be beneficial to look up some examples/templates of resumés and/or dating profiles; you could even plug in some of the actual categories/topics/questions you find, but respond to them in a poetic way. (Another possibility is to write a resumé that has nothing to do with work, or a dating profile that has nothing to do with romance.)

You can either write this one as a persona poem, or as yourself.

Speaking of persona vs. self: In an earlier exercise, I briefly touched on the fact that even your most autobiographical poem is still not 100% autobiographical. At least—not in the way an autobiography would be. The lyric ‘I’ is not the same as the ‘I’ that is you; even if you are writing from your own point of view. For one thing, no one has just one personality/persona*; you behave and speak differently depending on whether you’re at work, at school, at home, with friends, with family, etc.**

In this way, the ‘I’ in every poem is not you***, or not all of you, even if it’s your POV; and every poem is (kinda sorta) a persona poem.****

And, really, what better way to explore this concept than in a resumé or dating profile? After all, in both those formats, what you leave out is as important as what you put in; in both those forms, you are basically cosplaying as a version (the most employable and/or most dateable) of yourself.

Recommended reading:

Resumé (by Dorothy Parker—this poem comes with a suicide content warning; just in case you’ve somehow never read it)

A Poet’s Online Dating Profile (by Pamela Denyes)

—

*I mean, maybe you do? If so, I can’t relate.

**Do I contradict myself? / Very well then I contradict myself, / (I am large, I contain multitudes.) —Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”’

***I is another. —Arthur Rimbaud

****Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. —Oscar Wilde

(This exercise is from my ebook of NaPoWriMo prompts, which can be found here.)