#online art community shit is so annoying sometimes
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Can I complain a little bc I literally hateeee the attitude that’s like “you need to draw people like this you need to draw diverse body types and ethnicities and subjects! If you dont draw what I like personally then you suck as an artist” Like sure it’s good practice to have those skills but I ain’t have to do shit except be gay and die and if I want to draw the same skinny white guy a hundred times then I’m gonna do that unless you are quite literally paying me otherwise bc it’s my art. It ain’t about you all the time spoiled ass.
#personal#online art community shit is so annoying sometimes#glad I’m basically taking a whole break rn#it’s so entitled#you are not critiquing you are demanding#and acting like random artists are bad people for doing their own thing
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random loonatics unleashed hcs bc I like childhood comfort show binging
only elites watched loonatics unleashed—so for the ATOM SIZED community who still gaf abt this gem here’s some random hcs I thought of
ACE BUNNY
[+] confident, determined, loving
[-] stubborn, cynical, impulsive
since he’s like. the most heroic MF known to acmetropolis, overconfidence is his thing. sometimes it goes too far and people have to smack some sense into him (lexi & tech, most likely) and y’all thought duck was cocky… ace is cocky and smart vs duck is cocky and dumb.
i imagine he has some sort of cooling eye drops he puts in after battles or over usage of his laser vision.
may wear glasses if needed.
he defo has underlying anxiety about his leader position since he’s basically in charge of the universe and his teammates he considers his family. (he confides in lexi with this eventually)
on a similar note, since he feels the pressure of being the leader, he suppresses his emotions all the time until lexi finds out and they teach each other to heal :’)))))
as much as he and duck annoy the fuck out of each other, they complement each other in the sense that ace needs comedic relief and duck supplies it (bratty ass little brother things)
anime STANNNN. anything that’s got good lore—He and Tech love sword art online. they hook in rev and slam in the second season. he and slam like attack on titan FOR SURE.
duck gives ace social media tips (because ace loves the attention but doesn’t know SHIT ABT creating a following)
japanese culture fascinates him, so he implements traditions and holidays into the loonatics' activities.
stubborn as fuck, it’s his way or the highway. since zadavia has always put him in charge, it's hard for him not to boss people around when he's unable to help. (as seen in s1 ep6)
since in the show it’s hinted all the loonatics are in university, I have ace being the second oldest child. he’s a natural-born leader, but still can’t take certain things seriously. tech is a good influence on him.
LEXI BUNNY
[+] sweet, empathetic, fiesty
[-] emotional, hot-headed, judgemental
she wears noise-cancelling headphones all the time if not needed by others. the absolute peace and quiet she needs to stay sane, tbh
the amount of radio traffic and minds around her causes headaches and migraines—but also some paranoia and slight insanity since she can’t take all of these mind voices all at once. she receives medicine after years of putting it off/testing due to her super powered dna
^^ tech is the one who finds her crying and screaming and he takes care of her until she tells everyone else.
also to touch on that, tech creates wrist bands that lexi can put on. they are supposed to cancel any brain waves or mind reading for a certain amount of time (but not forever, as she is super powered and it’s still a wip for him). (she also needs her powers to protect planet blanc)
actually hates carrots of any sort (minus carrot cake, she would die w/o it) ace thinks she’s crazy.
“can you read this person’s mind” is her biggest gripe and she hates when anyone asks her to do so
due to her upbringing, she hates mean girls and anyone who isn’t a girls girl gets to have a not so nice convo with her.
she’s very social savvy and is always in the newest trends, she hates how self conscious she is but funnily enough she and duck relate to one another and do have shopping sprees and Amazon hauls for therapy 😭
she’d like tiktok but rarely post lol, and when she does her social media pops off
feminist. "oh girls can't be heroes" "girls shouldn't be doing a man's job" SHUT UR TRAP. she will prove u wrong in 1000 different ways.
most popular of the loonatics—she’s the only female.
her age hc I have is she’s third oldest. which kinda leans into my duck/lexi hcs but that’s in another post
TECH E COYOTE
[+] intelligent, punctual, organized
[-] uptight, perfectionist, egotistical
perfectionist syndrome we LOVE HER
he’s so father type (big brother to all of the loonatics, everyone relies on him imo) Ace is the leader, but Tech is the dad 🤪
since he and mallory (mastermind’s) huge falling out, he has a people pleasing complex. this is because he feels guilty about putting her in jail as she is his protégée but knowing what he did was for the best makes him uneasy. so not only does everything have to be perfect, he has a hard time saying no to prevent conflict.
that being said, when it comes to danger and safety he’s gonna put his foot down.
he absolutely loves tinkering with rev. the two of them share one braincell, though. call them thing one and thing two. they’re smart. but not together 😅
while tech likes…well…technology, I feel like he’d also like forensics too. And watching crime shows with Ace and Rev.
he also has a bit of an ego. mostly bc he’s the creator and manager of all the technology in blanc. (And the universe, maybe. at least blanc and acmetropolis.)
has some sort of side gig going on for sponsorships. i hc that he loves to help create new technology, but he'd also like to provide said ideas to companies, kingdoms, etc. usually has the loonatics branding on it.
when his powers upgraded, he had a bit of trouble controlling it to the point where their new HQ had electrical issues for a month. yay metal but also oopsies I can create electrical currents and it’s a lot
the idea of him being immortal due to his regeneration abilities scares him because his friends will eventually die off and he will remain on his own :( (if i had to think about this, so do u.)
very protective of his stuff, and his family. this is not debatable.
he tries to hide itttt but he loves kids. he likes to surprise them with things he makes and teaches them how to build objects (with lego, of course. ain't no way is he letting any cheeto-dusted fingers come in contact with his shit.)
he’s the oldest loonatic NO QUESTION.
REV RUNNER
[+] energetic, comedic, caring
[-] oblivious, childish, sporadic
he’s so baby boy. a child. I love him so.
adhd brain on TOP
fears rejection, but works on it with lexi helping him out
I think he’d also play league with lexi and ace.
he loves running around fast, obviously but he also likes to stop and enjoy views when he can. (Defo uses the wormholes to escape to sunny places.)
definitely has lists to keep himself organized (and slam, which he is blessed for)
likes mechanical machinery and modifications (hates detailing though, fuck that)
recites the entire bee movie script to tech to annoy him
relies on zadavia for advice frequently. she’s a mother to him and she gives him hugs :))))
knows the best spots in the universe for anything ever, (thanks internal gps)
may the lord bless him bc he loves his brother so so so much that he'd do anything for him. rip is always welcome at hq and they play games/invent shit together :)
would pull pranks on all of the loonatics and he’d get away with it (but duck sees right through him—helps him anyways) since it's shown in season 1, episode 6 that ace and rev like to watch sports/attend games, they'd love other ones that are hockey, basketball and football-oriented. (since this is the future and all, the sport they play in this episode is based on soccer anyway) duck is also part of this too.
the metabolism popped off this man can EAT. since he's already burning it off. He's unlike slam though—he eats at a regular speed due to conversation-making.
youngest loonatic.
SLAM TASMANIAN
[+] strong, resilient, comforting
[+] aggressive, uncontrolled, moody
has a hard time with expressing himself due to the language barrier b/w him and the civilians.
good news tho, rev and duck help him to learn english :DDD they get him to read a ton of things (rev with different books while duck just shows him magazines with him as the street model LMFAO, also trends and stuff.)
has an action figure collection that if touched, a tornado will destroy your room. (he had them before the meteor hit, as a coping mechanism from all the fighting he did)
obvi fave food is pizza, specifically meat lovers
gets into origami to control his mind. lexi loves doing this w him :)
tech and slam love to do weapon tests together bc slam is BEEFY and withstands more injury than people think.
ace and slam train together the most. it helps both of them with tiny/large targets.
desperately wants a cat, a kitten, something cat related… but ace says no all the time bc it serves “as a distraction” from their job (ace is delulu ignore him)
a chef. amazing in the kitchen. cooks all the food for the house. a WHOLESOME MAN. watches the food network LMAO
gives the best hugs.
VERY BROTHER BEAR VIBES, he'll tell someone straight up to NOT FUCK W HIS FAMILY. just DON'T.
third youngest loonatic but acts older
DANGER DUCK
[+] loyal, self-aware, amusing
[-] arrogant, overbearing, hypocritical
u know this man is one of the ✨g w o r l s ✨
he attends drag shows with rev and lexi (DID I STUTTER ??? I think not.)
he doesn’t give a FUCK this man will do what he wants, when he wants, for as long as he wants. (until ace or zadavia gives him shit, whoever comes first) attention-seeker, but rightfully so as he is very much overshadowed by all of his teammates, when in reality he is the strongest and most deadly loonatic. i mean think abt it. he has three powers. the most out of all the loonatics. ace has laser vision. lexi has telepathy. tech can manipulate metallic objects and regenerate. rev has super speed and is a human gps. slam can create storms/tornados. DUCK HAS THE POWER TO CREATE HOT LAVA ORBS (EGGS), MANIPULATE WATER, AND TELEPORT. u see the vision???
it also doesn't help when zadavia is always shitting on him for his character. in her defense, he is a superhero and should be a good influence and in a professional manner, when in his defense, he should at least be praised and acknowledged for the work he puts in...js.
TAKES HIS TRAINING SERIOUSLY EVEN IF HE USES IT AS A VIDEO GAME SIM— HE'S ON IT IN SECONDS.
he does get a bit depressed abt the whole overshadowing thing sometimes. but he's so cocky that he hypes himself up and forgets it ever happened.
HIS APPEARANCE IS EVERYTHING TO HIM, which is why he and lexi hang out a lot when lexi is in need of a break. THEY LOVE THE SALON.
he helps the men eventually with tinder profiles so they can get out there and find romance and shit (but not lexi, since she knows she can get whoever she wants) he's pretty successful at it too.
BOARD GAME CHAMPION. BACK-TO-BACK MAY I ADD. Slam hates it bc he almost clutches the win but duck suddenly has a trick up his sleeve then BAAM. winner winner pizza dinner. his favourite board game is monopoly. (for obvious reasons, mans' needs to be able to manage his money for future investments.)
if he could be on a version of america's next top model, he would.
might be a sarcastic asshole, but does deeply care about his family, and other beings for that matter ( I mean, s2 ep12 ANYONE ??) tweetums was his everything that WAS HIS SON.
trolls people on club penguin with rev, don't ask, I just know.
blogger typa beat. is the social media editor and influencer for the team.
second youngest, but acts like the youngest LMAO
aaaaand that's it for now, i will make separate hc posts for pairings (platonic and romantic) and obvs the loonatics in general, so stay tuned. :)
if u read this far u THE GOAT >:D
#faves: lu#loonatics unleashed#loonatics unleashed hcs#viv speaks#i love the loonatics and u will never hear the end of it nope not ever#i thought long and hard about these ok#i think i did a pretty good job !!!#but yeah i love my kids sm so take some brain mush#ace bunny#lexi bunny#slam tasmanian#tech e coyote#danger duck#rev runner#MORE SOON
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sent the 🐯 - nono the thing is i do know you!! youre not a stranger im just... sometimes i get spooked off, from interacting so much. because sometimes i think people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset :( and thats got nothin to do with you, you didnt do anything wrong. its me with my stupid thoughts and shit. i think youre really cool and i love your art and style and you seem so confident and dont give a shit about a lot of things. im intimidated by that
tried to answer this one privately and realized i couldn't because its an anon ask haha .. welp! i still want you to hear my input on this one so it's just going to be no reblog.
i'm going to put my response under the cut though for the sake of people's dashboards and because it's somewhat mushy. continue if you dare, followers - i'll be talking in depth about, like, emotions an shit.
so i sat on this ask for a while and really rolled it around my enclosure a little bit. full disclosure i need to just say for a long time i also felt this way - by that i mean feeling as though [people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset] - for various reasons.
one reason was that i had experienced real world examples of this sort of coddling many times - people online and in real life would often entertain me to my face and talk about me behind my back, mostly until i got too annoying to bear and was openly lashed out at or shunned. most of these incidents occurred when i was 16 or younger, to be fair, but they did make a mark on me.
another reason was just anxiety - if i didn't know exactly what the people around me thought, it would be safe to say those thoughts were bad. it would've verified what i thought about myself- and assuming those people already hated me allowed me to empathize with the versions of my loved ones that i created in my head. i often mourned the fact that they had to deal with me before i even knew whether they were annoyed or not.
these were the two main reasons why i often felt like people hated me, but i'm sure there were more.
i don't have an EXACT read on who you are anon, though i feel like i have an idea (you don't have to tell me, but if you'd like, reach out and send me a dm) - but personally, if we know each other, and i've not yelled at you or blocked you or told you not to talk to me, there's an incredibly decent chance (99%) that i neither hate you nor think you're annoying.
if you're my next door neighbor from two years ago, i take that back. but if you aren't, keep reading!
other than in my deepest darkest worst moments, i've pretty much trained myself out of the kneejerk assumption that my friends and loved ones hate me. i'll try not to sound preachy when i talk about why, but trust me when i say i have a point here in talking about it.
anyway - here's how i stopped doing that.
#1 - i started to model my own understandings of people's attitudes toward others based on my own attitudes.
ok i know that sounds weird or isn't very easy to understand so let me just give an example.
a technique i used a lot was just thinking through how, when, and why i liked or loved my friends. i loved my friends because they have similar interests to me, because of the history we had together, because it was easy to communicate with them, because i loved their minds and ideas, because they enriched my life (even when i didn't talk to them as much), because i was excited to hear from them + learn about their life, because i cared about them and didn't want to see them sick or hurt, because they were fun to hang out with, etc. etc etc.
then, i'd think about how i felt when one of my friends messed up, was irritating, annoying, or made me angry in some way. depending on how egregious the ill was, i reacted anywhere from pretty much none at all (for most irritations or annoyances) - to 'angry in the moment, it fades later' (for high stress situations in which i had no excuses for that friend) - to 'we seriously need to work this out' (for ongoing situations in which i was building up the strength to address).
most of the time, the irritations i encountered fell into the first category. many times i couldn't even be annoyed - i loved those friends so much that it didn't even matter, either in the very second the irritation happened or in the grand scheme of things.
in the few moments that i encountered more grave irritations such as those in the last category, what usually would happen is either that me and the other person sorted out our grievances and both agreed to change our behavior, or we parted ways.... and many of the friends i parted ways with i found wanting their company again and reconnected with them.
in evaluating myself in the context of my friends, though i can never know how, when, or why my friends love me, i know for relative certainty that when i am irritating or annoying to them, it is incidental and fades just as quickly for them as it fades for me. my friends will never be as concerned with my small flaws and ills as i am - it simply doesn't affect them nearly as much as it affects me.
^ this idea is doubly true for acquaintances and people you don't know as well as to say "friends" -- at the acquaintance level people can choose whether to get closer or to drift, factoring in time, interest, hyperfixation, location, their jobs, etc.
but this first technique only worked when i had the self-esteem to internalize the fact that other people's inner worlds were both just as complex as mine (holding complex feelings about oneself and each other) and just as simple as mine (annoyed or not? and for how long? etc)!
so another thing that really helped me was
#2 - faking confidence until i could build it properly.
i know everyone says this shit and it seems so ineffectual when it feels much more grounded and real to be cynical, to be anxious and upset with oneself.
and in many senses, it IS ineffectual - immediately. faking confidence is something that only works over years of doing it, and in faking your confidence you must also identify very real parts of yourself to be Actual Confident(tm) about and work toward feeling that way for real.
faking confidence is the sandbox where i, personally, found actual things to be proud of myself for within. when i faked confidence in my voice, way of thinking, my art, and my personality, i eventually found actual things to like in each of those aspects of myself based on how people reacted to that "front" of confidence i put up about those aspects of myself.
for a while i faced an awkward phase where my faked confidence was so intense that it manifested as arrogance and aggression toward others -- avoid this if you can . facepalm emoji.
but in presenting myself as somebody who was equal (or even greater) than other people in social situations i was in, other people pointed out things to be praised about me.
at first i'd be skeptical, but i'd keep it in the back of my mind. but over time, i'd see over and over the success of those parts of myself in social situations, artistic circles, athletic contexts, etc, and start to think "maybe i am good at [x]" or "maybe [personality trait] about me is helpful and cool", and on and on and on.
confidence and self-like is a process that builds on itself and gets easier over time. the second i began to question whether traits i had were really harmful or bad, the more i started to see reinforcing evidence of the contrary; of them being productive, healthy, interesting, worth having rather than destroying.
and the further you progress in this avenue, the easier it is to #not give a shit about things - or to respond less to attacks on the psyche or personality.
and when i reinforced + gained a respect for the parts of myself i once hated, it became easier to believe that others could admire me as much i admired them - that others could brush off my shortcomings as easily as i brushed off theirs.
recently, i hate to admit, i've had to start this process of loving myself all over again as i've started to experience a major personality shift brought on by gaining different + new responsibilities in my life. i respond differently to new circumstances so many times that i'm becoming somebody different - somebody i'm not yet prepared to love. somebody that i'm much more inclined to loathe, because i've seen the effects of my new personality traits on myself and others; not in observing my own actions, but in observing the actions of people in my life with the same personality traits such as my family.
so for now my confidence in a lot of situations is much shakier than it used to be - but the foundations i created back when are still there. when i don't believe in myself or punch down on myself i can keep it relatively contained internally and not project it onto others - or if i can't avoid projecting it, i at least understand on some level that i'm being unreasonable... and i can still keep that outward confident look pretty seamlessly while working out new insecurities from within.
trust me - i give a lot of shits, and so does every other confident person you know. we just keep it to ourselves - not to say that keeping it to oneself is inherently better, but it just helps to keep oneself from spiraling into deeper and deeper self hatred. keeping that hate on the down-low keeps it from gaining significant power.
in terms of being intimidated by other confident people....
i have nothing really to say about that. i think it's something that both affirms and worries the confident person in question - to be intimidating is to be slick and cool and impenetrable. but to be intimidating is also to be impenetrable (/neg) - impossible to see the inner life of through that glare of coolness or confidence. i guess its a double edged sword, i dunno.
but i think it gets easier to see even the intimidatingly cool as dorky, regular people when you recognize that pretty much everyone has or had crappy self image at one point. people are less intimidating when you allow the idea that they too, are people who fuck up, who go through things, who break down, who hate themselves, and who are just trying their best to seem like somebody lovable and worthwhile. and do that in order to CHASE interactions with others - and that wanting those interactions doesn't reflect badly on you or them.
but idk. i get it if u don't wanna read all that.
TLDR: ur thoughts aren't stupid and we've all been there. and i'm just some tumblr user on the internet it's really not so serious or scary. i post incessantly about robot sex and wizards instead of getting groceries. and everyone is just as stupid and dorky as the worst person you know and that's totally fine.
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Ehhh little vent. Ignore if you want.
So I just realised something about a fixation I've had since I was young and why I sometimes feel icky about it. Yeah turns out I was groomed.
I just spoke with an old contact (we've known each other since we were 14- both in our 30's now) about my aversions to this fixation, and he just blew my mind with his perspective. Basically he told me what I just mentioned above, but his reasonings make sense. I entered these online spaces where people had the same common interests. Unfortunately, I was taken advantage of. Usually in the form of taking art requests. Some, if not most- took a spicy turn. Worst of all I didn't know the ages of these people, but guaranteed that they were adults. I feel like I don't need to explain the dodgy implications here. They knew better, yet still used me for their own selfish kicks. Reason why I didn't make a big deal out of it at the time? Well probably because back in the early 2000's, most people assumed there were only one or two ways to be groomed. And if you claimed otherwise, then you were seen as an attention seeker or something.
At the time I didn't think too much of it, until I had this weird encounter with an ex and his best friend when I was around 21. They were both from the same community and they pushed a hard boundary. I always thought when I broke up with my ex, it was because we had grown apart. Which we had, but it still felt like there was more to it. I had in a sense, gaslit myself into overlooking the main issue. After the break up, I went cold turkey on the whole fixation, even to the point of resenting it and lumping everyone in the community together. I know that last part was wrong of me. Every group has some bad apples and all that jazz.
And yet every few months or years I would pick it back up again, tell myself it is fine only to find myself back in iffy circles again. Cycle repeats and so on. It wasn't until a couple of years back when I started this shit up again. This time though I met people who didn't like the waaaay spicier side of the community. I felt at peace. But then the guilt would come back and whenever my new friends would push for me to engage in the topic, I'd flake out or make an excuse. I didn't even know why I felt that way- until now. I fell out of that group a while back (unrelated reasons) and have since decided I want little to do with the community from now on. I don't hate it by any means. I shouldn't feel ashamed either.
However now I'm left realising that the few friends I have left from the community might drop me since I'm not interested in that stuff as much as they are. There is one person in particular whose reaction I am dreading, but one step at I time. Sorry for the ramble. I'm just annoyed at myself for not catching onto this sooner.
TLDR; Was groomed into liking a fixation/topic and now I hate it.
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Vent post vent post vent post [cw // mention of like internalized fatphobia & suicidal idiations & all that kinda not fun stuff]. Probably gonna delete later
For one thing I'm ugly as hell, fat & not a nice face. Incredibly unfit [like winded checking the mail unfit]. I have no clothes like literally I have two pairs of pajama pants I can't wear outside cause again fat so my thighs are constantly rubbing together so there's massive holes in the worst places. I got no job [& I have been applying]. I'm impulsively selfish [I try not to be but it takes time to change & my living situation kinda sucks]. My rooms filthy [& I don't mean kinda really messy I mean actual genuinely filthy] I'm trying to clean it cause one it's just better for me but also I have exercise equipment but I can only use them if the rooms clean [due to the size of the equipment, if I could use it messy I would]
I'm trying to change but I don't feel like I can be myself where I am. Like I eat once a day but my family still makes offhanded comments about what I eat, my size, etc.
I just wish I could leave. Part of me really really really wants to die, but there's things I wanna do before I die but it'll take so. Long. To finish those things. Plus everything's so daunting.
It's funny cause I can imagine my work [art] someday being loved - not by like everyone I can't fathom being a household name. But a decent size fan base I can kinda picture [kinda because while the art I make is the only good thing I can do, compared to 99% of other things it's sub-par at best]. But one thing that seems like a crazy wild unrealistic fantasy is... Being genuinely happy. Having a spouse that loves me, kids, friends who genuinely enjoy my company. It feels like a pipedream. I feel like I'm destined to be alone somewhere, probably by my own hand, before 40 [& ik I'm still young - turned 22 last month]. It's not like there's currently proof otherwise, I can count on two hands how many times I've left the house since 2020. I got no IRL friends & the online friends I have are more like acquaintance, which is my own fault I'm shit at communicating. I see them as friends but ik if they were to be asked to name 10 friends I wouldn't show up [& on the off chance I did that'd probably only be in the case they only talked to 10 people or less, which I don't believe is true for any of them].
I don't think my family really likes me either - I don't blame them they say it themselves I'm selfish & whiny & annoying & an asshole. The only reason they'd be upset I died is cause the food benefits are in my name [they're on it too but the paperwork & shit is in my name so it'd cause complications plus they'd get cut since ya know I'd be dead]. They do care I mean they randomly get stuff sometimes & most people don't do that for people they don't like but still
I wish I was a person worth loving.
[Also disclaimer ik I talk about wanting to die/dying a lot but plz know I'm not about to kms dw, I have these feelings but I'm not gonna act on them - at least not any time soon***]
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Brain Bubble Moment
Sometimes I have these weird nostalgia brain moments were I remember 2010s and 2011s roleplay atmosphere online- seeing artists drawing a lot of art with their besties and doing all this original content based off roleplay.
Man, I’m finally at a place were I’m confident with my work compared to my 13 year old miserable self.. And the RP community I used to know is now all adults enslaved to work.
Except me, I’m at home 24/7 because my body can’t handle shit. Even going outside for fun occasionally is like, extremely exhausting. Hecc, I love going out with friends but its annoying how hard it is on my energy levels.
Being at home as a kid, not feeling tired all the time and stay up till late at night just doing RPs.. It was great man. But my tastes have changed and so has the atmosphere around OC RP. Most people prefer DnD now, but the type of RP I did is simply not compatible with ttrpgs. I would feel overwhelmed and out of place. I don’t like dice rolling for anything or the limit to playing one character in my rps.
I enjoy watching dnd content though. Its cool. Dingo Doodles, critical role, and other stuff thats kinda niche. (brain can’t think of names rn)
I’ve always been envious of seeing other lgbt peeps being publicly posting their RP stuff and talking about writing on and off with their besties / significant others- I wonder if I had been able to accept I’m gay much earlier in life if that would’ve landed me in a healthy relationship with an artsy guy with the same interests.. Because that’s the dream, man. Social media really got me dreaming about winging a hot marvel-addicted boyfriend who draws cooler than me, and loves my little neurodivergent traits, and my hyper-fixations, and my ocs. My dumb fucking self.
haha.. I’m too insecure for a dating scene. I have way too much problems. I’d be so easily taken advantage off given my condition- I have trust issues. If I never get a relationship, maybe that’ll be the best. Given my situation, a partner would have to take care of me, and I don’t like being a burden. It’s just reality. I’m not opposed to ever being in poly throuple stuff either- but still//
Learning more about myself, my disabilities, my flaws, I just don’t see it happen. And that’s okay. But I can fantasize about it. I’m not unhappy. It’s just human to desire or crave something that you’ve seen around your community.
who knows, maybe those dreamy relationships I look up to have some dark stuff to them- maybe the people I thought were living the dream are not. They’re just showing the good parts. But a guy can dream right? I won’t get lost in it. These are just thoughts I have sometimes.
They’re just thoughts. Something to ramble about.
I’m okay!
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I think because nobody really makes any ship content for Jason and Barbara and it is extremely rare to see art for them, especially right now where everything is Dick and Barbara. So it’s nice to see that there is still a community out there or people who still like Jason and Barbara as a pairing. I absolute adore your JayBabs art! It’s so beautiful!
It's cute that my JayBabs art has been feeding my ask box a lot lately. I've produced a lot of fanart for niche ships over the years and I've never brought this type of attention to myself. By what you're saying the JayBabs tag has been very deprived of content. That's kinda sad. But it's not a big deal in my eyes. You'd be surprised by the fact that the majority of people engaging on the Batfam fandom online probably don't even know this ship exists and have no previous judgement towards it.
Sometimes you just need the one fanart that gets viral for the ship to gain a few new entusiastic shippers :)
The DickBabs ship is just Batwriter agenda, crafted with the purpose to keep Dick isolated from having any relevant bond outside the Batman property. And it's so fucking plastic and poorly writen that constantly gets in the way of everything even inside the Batman related stories. I'm starving for Jason & Dick content first and foremost, and I can't stand this shit getting in the way of every single Batfam dynamic involving Dick. Seriously, where are my Jason&Dick centered stories? I want Nightwing&Batman stories too without any nasty ships stealing valious pages from the story that could be used to explore other more relevant things. Do I also have to mention how annoying it is that Dick cannot count on his friends anymore because now his only bestie is the woke bitch?
The idea of me shipping this kind of editorial plastic craft that stank of "Batwriter agenda" since day 1, instead of a blank page full of potential for writers like JayBabs is laughable honestly.
Even worse it becomes when you add the fact that my most hated fictional trope of all times: the "childhood soulmates" one was injected to this turd back then, when the characters' ages were retconed to add their off-panel "history together" bullshit.
I have a problem with this trope. I have a big personal problem with any fictional ship that follows this shitty trope. This bland idealized fantasy that consists in two characters that meet each other as kids, and they become the first crush for each other, and become best friends and later on they start to date and they make love and they grow up together and stay together for the rest of their lives blablablah does not vibe at all with me. The reason? I LIVED IT IN REAL LIFE. The love of my life is the first man I've dated and the only romantic experience I had. It's been many many years since we started dating.
I get why normies instantly become attached and idealize this kind of relationships in fiction. Because in real life this is not the norm. The probabilites of someone having their first crush on their soulmate at a young age are what… 0.00001%? I've met many many people in my life, so did my boyfriend (and he knows thrice people than me), and even for the Catholic standards from my country, the number of people we've met that had a story similar to ours is NONE. It's no wonder really why so many writers write this ships so badly, and why the audiences of those stories cannot identify how awful those ships are. It's a fantasy scenario.
But I lived it, and I hate 99% of ships that fall into this trope because I consider they do a terrible job at depicting a reality that has been my normal day by day basis for the last 13 years. DickBabs is the worst of them all but in my eyes is just another example of why this shitty trope shoud burn in flames and never be used again, unless your typical writer actually tries to sit down for a minute and think about how humans behave and how human relationships work. You don't need to experience what you write in first hand to depict it well, you just need to be intelligent about it, do some proper research.
One day I'll write my own story featuring the childhood soulmates theme. It's going to be heavily based on my personal experience and it's going to bitchslap every stupid writer who ever wrote this trope as a bland boring idealized fantasy. It'll be the deconstruction of the childhood soulmates trope. I'll get to be the Latin American female version of Alan Moore!!!!1111oneone
But either way, I think it'd be nice if we stop mentioning DickBabs while talking about JayBabs. That ship is not a ship that has earned the status of relationship by the sweat and effort of countless writers that tried to make it work over the years like say, Clark and Louis. No. It's a Batwriter agenda shit. A retcon. The fact that it gets constantly shoved down our throats lately doesn't add any depth to that. It just makes it more forced and annoying. It really does not deserve the mention, unless it is to use it as a punching bag lmao.
Let's focus instead on why JayBabs has potential to be a great ship if it ever gets explored on the main continuity.
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@inception30daychallenge Day Thirty-one: A letter to Inception fandom.
Dear Inception fandom,
Sometimes the world isn’t fun. Sometimes I look at my writing or my art and I wonder why I make any of it when there are so many people doing it better than I am. Sometimes grad school burns me out to the point that even my hobbies feel like burdens. Sometimes simply trying to exist and be an adult is rough and annoying and I just want everything to slow down for five minutes until I can catch my breath.
But there are still bright spots even when everything else feels a bit like shit, and you, Inception fandom, have been one of those bright spots for me over the past two years.
You read my self-indulgent fics and leave sweet comments. You encourage me to make art and be proud of it even when it isn’t quite what I pictured in my mind. You laugh at my memes and silly shitposts and leave wonderful tags on my HCs. You help me celebrate the little things like a tasty meal I made and give me a sympathetic ear to bitch about things when I just need to vent. You make me feel welcome and appreciated and remind me why I love this movie so much.
So thanks. You guys are one of the kindest, most welcoming online communities I’ve ever been part of. Don’t ever stop dreaming bigger.
Your local trash goblin,
Newt
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does anyone have a weird nostalgia and appreciation for the adolescence of our generation (old zoomers/young millennials) growing up online.
sometimes very unique about being a 13 year old who was experiencing so much grief that the only means of coping was drowning yourself in online communities and often too dark anime & roleplay or whatever. Stupid shit like kin drama and black square profile pictures when you were having a depressive episode or breakdown
Like . i guess kids around that age group are having their own run of that now and im annoyed by it because im an adult or whatever but fuck. that part of my life still probably meant something and was still deeply difficult and even if “cringy” it was my means of expressing myself
this is incoherent im just. Thinking about it? how the tropes of scene/emo/weeb kids online are mocked mostly because it was afab & queer kids engaging in it but i dont know why we consider it cringe. we obviously all acted like that for a reason, most of had difficult lives and no means of expressing it so that was how we ended up doing so
even if the “sad anime profile picture” or the black square are kind of memes now its kind of cathartic to remember that that was a way of us expressing our sadness to the people around us without having to come out and say it, something infinitely harder than changing a profile picture. even if it was “attention-seeking” i dont think being attention seeking means it’s a bad thing necessarily. a cry for help is attention seeking too
and drawing or writing weirdly graphic and depressing art too. god i remember the stupid “outside im smiling inside im dying” but that shit resonated with me so hard when i was in middle school lmao? because it was true. i had so much shit going on internally but i couldnt deal with it, i didnt know HOW, so i just acted happy until i got home and could roleplay some depressed anime girls
anyways i also find it funny that this specific era of internet is now a tumblr core tag
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Long Lost Partners
Summary - When Kaminari gets caught from cheating on the recent English test, he receives an unusual punishment from Present Mic and joins another student from class 1-B. The two hit it off but Kaminari can’t shake the feeling that he knows this individual. But from where? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To say that Denki Kaminari was tired would be an understatement. He was absolutely wrecked, though partially was his own fault. This morning he swore off procrastination and walked into class proclaiming that he was a new and improved man. To be fair though, this was probably the three monster energy drinks he downed while running to school talking, not him.
"Nice man! You know it takes someone who is really manly to step up and take action so I'm proud of you." Kirishima slapped his back appraisingly.
Jirou only looked him down suspiciously. "You sure that's you talking?"
"Hey I'm serious! The second I get an assignment I'll do it. I won't leave it off to the last day like last night ever again." Denki shivered at the thought of what went down this previous night. He was up until four am this morning trying to crank out the two weeks worth of homework that he had been piled up, which conveniently all had the same due date, today. Couldn't help but wonder if teachers planned to have the same due dates for work to make students' lives hell as he tried to complete his English homework.
Iida butted in with a smile on his face while performing his routine robotic chops, "I praise you Kaminari for being an example to the class! It is unwise to leave assignments to the very last minute when you can give them the attention they require and get full marks." At this comment almost everyone in class 1-A turned to look at Kaminari who was wearing a smug smile.
"You hear that Sero?" Kaminari asked with a shit eating grin. He opened his arms wide open giving him a full view. "I think you need to look up to me now."
"You're so full of shit." Sero remarked at his gloating friend who was basking in the attention. This was all in good fun though. Sero and Kaminari had met this year and got along the best between anyone else in class. Sometimes even taking time to hang out after school or play some games online.
Sero didn't really plan on looking up to Kaminari as usually it was the opposite way around. When Sero logged on last night to play a game, he had expected Kaminari to be on as he usually was, but instead was met with a text message saying, "can't tonight. doing this bitch ass English hw."
Sero knew that his friend had been procrastinating but when he opened Snapchat this morning he saw a whole new level of this bad habit. While going through Denki's private story he couldn't count the times Denki had filmed himself downing a whole monster energy drink. At around midnight he even filmed himself making what he called, 'The Acid Drink' which was a 20 oz. bottle of a mixture of coffee, Monster drinks, Kool Aid mix, Red Bull, and just pure granulated sugar. He even attempted to do shots of the 'Acid Drink' while workin on quadratic equations. Again, Sero didn't think it would be wise to follow in Kaminari's steps.
"Man how the hell are you going to stay up all day when all that sugar and caffeine crash?" Sero asked. He was sure his friend had come prepared and to be honest, he wanted to see what his plan was. And Kaminari's smile confirmed his suspicions as he pointed towards his bag.
"I've already thought ahead my friend. I left a bit early to go to the store to get some Red Bulls, candy and other stuff, which was a good idea considering there was a villain attack right near the shop. That would've been rough getting to school this morning."
Sero nodded in agreement. He left a bit too late this morning and he was actually caught up a bit in all the traffic and mess from the attack as well. Two people with quirks that enhanced their sizes went at it at 7:30 in the morning creating huge amounts of destruction.
"Yeah it was a pain in the ass trying to get through. Thank god I made it though. I don't think I can afford to be yelled at by Mr. Aizawa for being late again."
"It would kind of suck if one of my friends got expelled for showing up late to his class for the third time." Denki was now popping a couple smarties in his mouth before chewing it up. Sero then gave him a pointed look before Denki handed a couple over to his friend.
Right on que Mr. Aizawa walked into class for homeroom and thus began another uneventful day of learning, that is, until the end of English class.
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Hearing Present Mic speak was never a problem as that man never ceased shouting about anything. And that proved to be quite annoying in Denki's attempt to learn the English language. Well, that's at least what he blamed to be the cause of his current failing English grade.
Now, Denki Kaminari isn't the sharpest tool in the shed but that doesn't mean he is a total flop. He passed the UA entrance exam so that has to mean something, right? But when it comes to languages that is where he has never succeeded and doesn't think he ever will.
So today when Present Mic started class by asking for Denki to stay after class because, 'I have a few concerns about your English test," this really didn't come as a surprise. Even if it was expected, because there was no denying it, he bullshitted and cheated his way through that last test, that still didn't stop the sinking feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when he knew something was wrong.
He looked around the room as everyone once more stared at him like this morning, but he felt 3 pairs of eyes who looked at him knowingly. And those people would be none other than Hanta Sero, Eiji Kirishima and Mina Ashido.
Kaminari gave a cold look at Sero who also seemed to look like he was sweating in his seat as well, but Present Mic never said anything about him and started his lesson by screaming a song in English.
'That asshole isn't being called out but I am.? We both cheated on the same test using the same sheet yet Sero is the one who gets the clear? Jesus, I'm probably going to be chewed out by Present Mic which is way worse than Mr. Aizawa. Scratch that Mr. Aizawa is scarier than Mic but Mic is just so loud I think that makes up the difference between how annoying they are to be yelled at by.'
And so, by the time English class was coming to an end and lunch was near, Denki did not learn anything in that class as he spent it in his own inner monologue.
"And that's really the main difference between using singular and plural nouns listeners! See you all on Wednesday have a good lunch!" Present Mic concluded his lesson and gave Denki a lingering stare saying, 'don't start leaving yet.' Denki looked to all his friends as each left.
Mina gave him a quick nod and a wave before walking out.
Sero passed by snickering as he confirmed that he was in the clear and was safe.
And finally, Kirishima gave him a quick pat on the back before joining the rest of the gang outside the room.
And Bakugou, Denki didn't even see him leave but he assumed he just packed up and left as usual.
So now all that's left in the classroom was himself and Mic.
Denki slowly made his way up to Mics desk mustering up as much as a pleasant attitude as he could, while also praying his eardrums won't split if he gets too close to him. When arriving at the front of the classroom all he could peep out was, "What's up?"
'Woah that came out higher than expected.'
Present Mic propped his legs on his desk and crossed them before taking a deep breath. "Listen here listener,"
'How can I not listen if you're shouting constantly.'
"Do you know what being a true hero means?"
'Well I didn't expect that.'
"Yeah, it means risking your life to save other people right?" Kaminari wasn't exactly sure where this conversation was going but Present Mic sure got serious all of a sudden.
"I know what a pro hero does, but I am asking about a true hero here. Someone who does or takes actions that are heroic for others without the benefit from doing actions. Being a true hero means being honest," Present Mic consequently pulled out his recent English test and handed it back to Denki concluding, "and cheating is not honest."
'Oh so that's where he was going with that.' So Denki Kaminari took the test marked with a big '0' and took that as his queue to zone out. After years of practice he could say that he mastered the art of looking like he was paying attention, but really was somewhere else in his mind entirely. He wasn't sure if this was something to brag about though. Sometimes words slip in but if he focuses enough, he can totally tune them out and do something else. Like think about what he wants to do after this.
As Present Mic continued on about cheating and whatnot, Denki got more tired by the minute, wishing he was drowning himself in caffeine rather than Present Mic drowning him in words.
"So heroes aren't always the ones front and center taking care of the villians. Often these heroes are working behind the scenes and keeping society flowing. They are honest and handworkers who help their community."
Denki was now swaying from one foot to another getting even more bored with each passing second. Another thing about Present Mic which in his opinion makes him worse than Mr. Aizawa is that he doesn't get to the point immediately. Instead he makes elaborate discussions rather than just telling him what his punishment is like Mr. Aizawa.
"So for your punishment. Of course I will have you retake the test and we can set a date for that, but instead I have a better solution instead of suspending you for cheating. Because what does that teach you? Nothing! You know students can't learn much if..."
And Kaminari began to doze off waiting for Present Mic once more, to get to the point so he can eat. It probably would've been smarter to take his last Monster Energy before this class.
"...instead I'll have you working on your honesty through community service. I have a little group called 'Present Mic's Helping Hands' and it is full of students, like yourself, who also can improve upon their honesty or choose to help out instead of detention. I suppose you may have heard this on my radio show as I send out a line for people to call if they need help doing small services around the city." Present Mic beamed at his plan to Denki and even began to pull out a small binder that was sitting in the top drawer of his desk. Smiling even more, Present Mic beckoned Denki over as he went on about each of his services he did and photos that were taken.
Apparently that binder was just composed of photographs of Mic smiling with previous students who were all wearing matching and tacky bright yellow shirts. Some students smiled, while some looked like they wanted to leave at that very moment. There seemed to be a picture for every time they had a group of 2 or more to do a service project. Kaminari can't even guess how far back some of these pictures go.
"So I just have to do some community service for the rest of the week?"
"Right on listener! I'm so excited for you to help out and join our group along with another, though they've already tagged along once or twice before! I'm just going to have you two meet me at the front of the school at the end of the day! That is where I'll give our service assignment! Sounds good?" Present Mic concluded looking to see if there were any questions on the young teens face. With a simple nod to Kaminari's head, he sent him out to eat his lunch.
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As Kaminari approached the lunch table he saw that everyone was there waiting for him to ask what happened, and Kaminari explained it all. How he won't be able to play games for a whole week because he'll be stuck doing community services with some other person in Present Mics 'Helping Hands' group. He also brought out his last Monster Energy Drink which he has been saving for his lunch.
Sero snickered while finishing chewing his food, "Sucks to suck I guess." And at that Kaminari playfully jabbed him in the ribs making Sero slightly choke on his food. "What the hell dude? I thought we were going to at least get caught together but you get a freebie?" With that Sero only shrugged.
"Well at least you aren't suspended right? That could've been a lot worse. Like imagine if you got caught by Mr. Aizawa." Mina consoled while shuddering at the thought of Mr. Aizawas red eyes glaring into hers as he expelled her.
Kirishima decided to join in saying, "I think you should take this as a learning experience man." But before he could continue Kaminari cut him off saying, "You don't get to talk. I don't think you have ever had to cheat once in your life. And English comes easy to you for some reason. What did you do to get all smart?"
With that Kirishima shrugged his shoulders and turned to his friend, "I don't know being manly means being honest so cheating has never really been an option." Kaminari only stared at him with an annoyed face(because he knew he was right and probably won't try to cheat again) and went back to his complaining.
"This sucks. I really wanted to just take a nap when I got home. I hadn't planned on staying later so I didn't stack up on any energy drinks because the ones I'm having right now will last until the end of classes." He pointed to his empty Monster Energy drink before putting it upside down for emphasis.
As lunch was coming to an end more and more people began to get up and take care of their dishes and trash. The group followed suit and got up starting to walk to 5th period.
"You said that there's going to be one other person right? I don't know, just talk to them and try to get through it." Sero offered, trying to help his friend make the best of the situation he was stuck in.
Walking through the class door together Kaminari responded, "Yeah you're right, we'll see I guess."
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At the end of the day Kaminari changed out his shoes and made his way towards the front of the school where he noticed one other person standing and waiting where he was told to meet Mic.
'Probably the other person.'
Making his way towards them he started to get a clearer view on who would be joining him for the next week. And his first impression was not who he has been picturing at all. He thought this student would look like a total delinquent and fool around all the time but this person in front actually looked pretty put together. And also kind of hot.
"Hey I'm Denki Kaminari but you know you can call me Denki if you'd like." He flashed his best award winning smile waiting for his new partner for the week to respond. Denki began thinking maybe this won't be so bad after all.
"Hi I'm Y/N L/N and same you can call me Y/N I don't really care either way. Oh and I'm in class 1-B." You responded with a cherry smile. Denki didn't know a simple smile or laugh could make him feel warm and mushy inside. This was a foreign feeling.
"Oh for real? I'm in class 1-A." He said, but the sudden drop of your face meant that he needed to clarify. "I promise we're not like the rumors. At least not all of us." You knew what rumors he was talking about. A lot of class 1-B along with others from the student body tend to think that 1-A was just full of stuck up brats who think they are better than everyone else. And though Kaminari can think of a few students who fit into that rumor, he didn't think at least he was better than anyone else. It was quite obvious that he wasn't and the proof was that he was standing here with someone else who had cheated. Which brings up his next question.
"So did you get caught cheating too?" You shook your head quickly and let out a bit of a chuckle. Scratching the back of your neck as though you were embarrassed, you responded sheepishly,
"Well it's a bit of a long story,"
"Alright guys for one box of Pocky I'll do a backflip right off of Mics desk to my own seat." You exclaimed to your quiet class who were all patiently waiting for Present Mic to come. Everyone turned to you with eyes wide open.
Kendo was quick to shut this down. "Yeah, no you won't. I don't need you causing a scene. Besides Present Mic is going to be here any moment so we can just wait patiently. Save that for hero training." She advised. While her words were convincing, Tetsutetsu's were more after saying two simple words, "You're on."
Immediately getting up you could hear both the mixed interest and protests of your classmates as you began to make your way towards the front of the desk. With a quick peek out the front door and seeing nothing you quickly mounted on top of the desk and got situated.
"Y/N I'm serious you need to get down. Present Mic is going to come in and punish us all for your actions." You looked at Kendo questioningly. "Are we talking about the same teacher? 'Cause the Mic I know would cheer me on." She gave you a small glare in return preparing to get up from her own seat to stop you.
"Hey c'mon! Wouldn't it be cool if when I jumped, I landed in my seat the moment Mic gets here?" You chuckled along with a few others in the class at the thought of pretending nothing ever happened and that a student totally did not do a backflip off of his desk full of all his personal work, files, records, etc.
You raised your eyebrow and tried to figure out how to jump so you would land right in your seat. Kendo let out a tired sigh before continuing her protests. Ignoring her you finally got into position and ready to jump. The rest of the class, though excluding a few, were all watching intently, a few even chanting.
And so, taking your leap backwards, it would've been a perfect landing, if your shoelace hadn't got snagged between two drawers from when you were fixing your position. As you jumped back you pulled not only you, but Mics entire desk causing it to fall and contents to spill everywhere.
Thankfully Kendo dropped her hands giving up completely and got up to help you out along with others who went to see if you were all right. It sounded like you hit your head pretty hard. And right on cue Mic walked into the disaster of a room with his desk completely turned over. Records, papers, pens, files, clips, all of it was everywhere.
And it didn't take long to find the culprit behind this as they were lying on the classroom floor. No other words had to be said between you and Mic other than, "Did you bring your shirt?"
After hearing the story Denki was now laughing it up as you gave him pointed glares. You continued on saying, "The worst part was that I didn't even get any Pocky!"
Kaminari raised his eyebrows at you. "Well yeah obviously. You didn't stick the landing. Can you even do a flip?"
In return you gave him a mock-offended look, "Can you even do a flip? Of course I can do a flip asshole." But at that Kaminari shook his head laughing, "From that story I think it was clear that you can not do a flip."
Now at this comment, you took his words as a personal offence. "How dare you, first of all fuck you, and secondly watch this." As you took a stance and did a back flip right in front of Kaminari. As you landed you stretched your arms wide waiting for an applause which was shortly given by Kaminari. After that's when the two of you began to laugh.
In that very moment Kaminari can feel as though they've met this person before, he could've sworn he knows that laugh. It's so distinct, something he would never forget yet he can't place where he knows it in his mind.
Now it was your turn to question his own skills, "Can you even do a flip?" But before he could respond the two of you heard shouting from across the school yard near the busses.
"Listeners! Come meet me over here!" Present Mic shouted waving over for the two to come.
And the two did a quick jog over to where Present Mic had been waiting along with a small bus that Kaminari guessed was to drive you both to the service activity for the day.
"Sorry that took me a while, I had to dig out a new shirt for our new member of 'Present Mics Helping Hands!'" He shoved the shirt quickly to Kaminari. Kaminari knew the shirts were tacky and embarrassing from the photos, but the photos never showed the back. He couldn't believe he was going to need to wear this all week. While the front of the bright yellow shirt said, 'Present Mic's Helping Hands,' the back of the shirt had Mics face plastered all over the back as he was showing his hands.
"So what do you think? I designed them myself! Pretty sweet right? Feel free to wear it whenever you're outside school!" He quipped. The first thing Kaminari wanted to do was burn this shirt to the ground.
Present Mic then turned to you, "You have your shirt from last time?" And you gave him a thumbs up before pulling it out from your bag and showing it to the two. The same face was plastered on the back of his as well.
"Awesome! Now put them on over your uniforms and come in front of the bus to take a picture! It's tradition that every time we go out for a community service activity we take a picture to remember these fond memories!"
The two of you both put on your shirts and made your way to the front of the bus. Lining up the two of you stood right next to each other, though it looked a bit awkward considering the space between you two. So Mic went up and pushed you and Kaminari both close together before turning around to fit him in the selfie. Both of you brushed hands slightly as you felt a faint shock of electricity when touching him.
"Okay Listeners on three say, 'Present Mics Helping Hands,' okay?"
On three you both exclaimed 'Present Mics Helping Hands,' though it didn't sound as enthusiastic as Mics booming voice through his speakers. With a look at the photo he turned off his phone and shook Kaminari's hand.
"Welcome to the group and congratulations on being the third member to join this school year!" Kaminari shook his hand back weakly and turned to you. "I didn't know there was another member." he commented.
As the two of you both climbed the bus preparing to leave you answered his comment saying, "Yeah, we were actually the first members to join this year. It was a guy from class 3-A and I remember being so surprised that this guy had been "recruited" into the helping hands. I mean he was just so quiet and shy too. Honestly the conversations were pretty one sided so it's nice having someone to talk to for this week."
Kaminari let out a small oh as their journey to the service activity continued. Mic was upfront driving the bus signing some English song and next to him was Y/N who was currently on her phone playing a game.
Taking a closer look the game turned out to be none other than Minecraft.
"No way you play Minecraft?" He asked as Y/N turned to look at him.
"Oh yeah! I haven't played in such a long time though, but only recently I've started to play again because my little brother got really into it. But I used to play a lot when I was younger."
Kaminari felt a twinge and that feeling like he knew who this person was before even meeting them happened again. But still he couldn't place the feeling to exactly where he knew them.
"Same! I was obsessed when I was younger and would always log on. Hold up I'm going to pull up right now and I'll add you on my phone now and then later sometime we can play." Kaminari whipped out his phone and opened the app he hadn't touched in such a long time.
"Sounds good, I usually play on my PC anyways." You replied going back to building your home on the game.
Once Kaminari had loaded the game he asked you, "Okay what's your username?"
You paused for a moment before going to scratch the back of your neck. "Promise not to make fun, I made it when I was super young and I've been a bit lazy to change it..." Kaminari stared at you, prompting you to go on.
"It's 'green_penguin.lover33.'" You turned away embarrassedly.
Kaminari stopped immediately when he heard that name. It finally clicked. From the time he first heard them speak to the time they had first laughed there was no mistaking it. He finally knows where he remembers you from!
"No way, you're 'green_penguin.lover33?' I'm 'sparkguy8!' Holy shit I thought I knew you from somewhere."
"Oh my god." You exclaimed. You knew that name the very second it was spoken. That is because 'sparkguy8' was none other than your very first and only, Minecraft boyfriend.
This was insane. It's not everyday you meet your first Minecraft boyfriend in person especially after such a long time. Kaminari was the first to start talking after the reveal.
"Where on earth did you go? When you stopped showing up I was so lonely. I thought we had broken up! I still remember your last words which were, 'see you soon.' What the hell happened?" Kaminari was literally bouncing in his seat like a puppy after seeing its owner come home from work that day.
"Oh that's actually easy to explain." You told him how when you moved your console got lost and by the time you had gotten a new one you were already done playing Minecraft and instead you played other games and just over time forgot about it all. It was just only until recently when your little brother had gotten a gaming console he got Minecraft and has been bugging you about playing together.
After taking in all this information, Kaminari feels as though his life is finally complete. Not only did his Minecraft partner go to his school, they were actually a really cool person and fun to be around, and not only that but they were really attractive as well. For once he could actually thank Present Mic for this.
"I hope you know that as soon as we get home we are playing right?" He said determinedly.
"Of course," you replied. Shaking your head in confirmation as the two of you rode the bus to the service activity. You felt closer to Kaminari then you have ever been with another person before.
Apparently cleanup from this morning's villain fight is taking longer than expected and Mic had received a call from his help line. Time couldn't have flown any faster as the two of you picked up rubble and trash from the part of the city that had been destroyed. Whether it was talking about older memories of playing, music, newer games, food, all of it.
In the moment when you two were parting ways, and you watched as Kaminari walked off towards the sunset, you were positive that attempting to do a backflip off of your teacher's Present Mics desk was the best decision you've made in your life.
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well hopefully that wasn't too awful to read haha.
i finally got the motivation to write and i’m going to start pumping out a bunch of these denki x reader one shots so stay tuned!
i hope you all stay healthy and safe, love you <3
-sinjinlover1
#denki#denki kaminari#kaminari#kaminari x reader#denki x reader#denki x y/n#kaminari x y/n#my hero academia#mha#denki imagines#denki oneshot#kaminari oneshot#bnha#bnha imagines#fanfiction#fanfic#denki fanfic#sero#kirishima#mina#bakugou#comedy#fluff#mha imagines#mha oneshot#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#minecraft#boku no hero fanfic#boku no hero academia
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•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•
IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄
(24) 26 years old
From Swansea, Wales
Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her
has a dysfunctional family...
her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?
and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face
all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another
her mother is of Venezuelan heritage
And Her father is of Italian heritage
her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy
he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night
Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights
also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased
In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs
Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban
Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister
Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?
Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house
Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them
Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person
Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day
Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that
Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP
she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time
She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails
It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her
That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her
Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)
Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically
anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes
And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao
Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did
But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated
Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it
Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?
Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago
has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!
Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat
went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out
A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh
Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself
Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others
She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then
Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same
has a toy poodle that she loves deeply
doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic
is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online
has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!
currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez
but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown
yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective
She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show
from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry
doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?
Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions
and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first
Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies
i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered
Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off
some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous
“Did he just call me a virus?”
And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way
We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!
You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!
Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit
idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so
still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???
She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time
she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else
the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!
Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that
Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days
I feel like she has chronic migraines too?
Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨
Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!
Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way
And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums
Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!
also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for
Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes
Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times
posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does
Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested
her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)
#litg#litg allegra#litg headcanons#litg headcanon#litg moodboard#litg mason#litg Tim#litg jake#litg jen#litg erikah#litg mc#litg oc#had to make to drama filled since s1 did us right along with s2#I do feel like Allegra bettered? herself after the show and stand by that#I still laugh when I see her character in my head and the fact that someone said she looks like the bride of chucky#anyways I like giving people the benefit of the doubt and I think ppl like her better than Lucy? lmao so this is for y’all allegra stans#decided to give s3 a break and play s1 again hope that’s cool lol#also no longer doing celeb crush/music choices anymore cause I’ve run out? lol alright bye!
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i want to start this off by saying i am infintitely grateful for all the support i've gotten while i was away, and i cannot express enough how much it means to me to know i have so much support during such a frustrating part of my life, even if i'm only showing you guys one part of it. i cannot tell you enough how thankful i am, and i'm going to respond to as many messages as i can tomorrow because this has taken a lot of time and energy for me to write and piece together emotionally
i definitely think the other week when i made that lengthy post about my identity and my place in online spaces may have been a bit of an overreaction, however while i've had some time to think about it on my own i think that just avoiding tumblr outright is causing me to become pretty insular in how i'm perceiving the entire situation, which isn't made any easier for me considering when i ask my friends who've been seeing it unfold what their opinions on it are, their responses have been pretty mixed.
as a whole, i think that being in online fandoms, as an outspoken artist (outspoken in this sense meaning redacted and fat kid fuckery, both shameful and heretical topics few dare to mention), tends to inflate my ego in a way i don't really find desirable. meaning people who are super kind and friendly towards me and who give me a lot of positive attention, while reassuring and definitely welcomed, tends to lean into people admiring me for reasons i don't really understand, and this can also end up trapping me into a certain role to fulfill in a community because of the kind of attention i tend to reward and validate, i.e. fat kid fuckery in my dms, which leads to the expectation of me being this sort of bastion of hornyposting where all evil (affectionate) thoughts are encouraged and endorsed.
on the other end of the spectrum, and if you know what i'm talking about then you know, i tend to attract a lot of negativity from people i've never interacted with or had any intention of interacting with, and this has been an issue for me pretty much the entire time i've used social media (me adding hornyposting as a facet to my personality is really recent, like i only started doing this late 2017 and i'm really tired of it by now but. again. it's what people expect of me, more on that later), and i'm not entirely sure how to make it stop. granted, when i was a lot younger, i was genuinely an asshole, but i want to stress a very important thing i think very few of my followers on here are aware of
i'm 28 and only just now aware of the fact that i'm autistic, and i was misdiagnosed with bipolar when i was 13 and because none of the treatment or therapy worked, i always thought there was something really wrong with me, so i couldn't actually learn how to cope with a lot of my problems in a productive way until recently. so yeah, i was a jackass when i was younger, and i can be a jackass in private sometimes when i'm under a lot of stress, but having this realization about myself is really helping me a lot on its own
and being autistic, people can think i'm annoying or obnoxious or irritating and that, juxtaposed with content or opinions they might personally disagree with, can make people very angry just inherently. i've spoken with my friends about how i can't seem to shake off any drama that i really, really have nothing to do with or any interest in, and the only ones who could really relate were other autistic people. my own friend actually told me that she thinks this is something i'm just going to have to struggle with my entire life, because even if it's not being horny or advocating for sexual positivty, i'm ALWAYS doing something that will piss someone off
(quick disclaimer: i know some of you are probably going to try to engage in bad faith arguments with me saying that i'm calling all my haters ableist, and if anyone tries to insinuate that this is the conclusion i'm coming to, i'm not only ignoring your ask but blocking you as well. i'm also not answering any asks trying to insinuate that i "need help" simply because of the type of fiction i enjoy, when the issue was HOW i was engaging with it, which i think i have made exceedingly clear.)
i think it's funny that me clearly being into waycest and clearly being into babystump is lost on people to the point where they feel they need to make callout posts "warning" people about the fact that i'm...openly and unabashedly interested in this shit, but the very second i say "actually i'm asexual but i'm glad you guys are so sexually open about yourselves and your interests" i lost more followers than any active campaign trying to cancel me, which is exactly what i fucking mean when i say this is what people expect of me
so i can't really make anyone happy in the current environment i've curated for myself because it is expected of me to maintain this personality and continue engaging in this nature of content regardless of my own personal feelings on the matter, because if i want to break free from it then i risk pissing people off. i also can't just act how i want or make the kind of jokes that i want or enjoy the kind of things i want anyway because simply by having a mental disability that effects how i engage with people socially, i am risking ostracizing myself by pissing the wrong people off and ultimately making things a lot worse than they otherwise would be
however. However. even if this is exactly how i feel, this isn't entirely a situation that is exclusive to this current blog, and when i said in the beginning i was taking this too seriously, i still mean that, and i think that my own personal problems with being in online fandoms stem from external factors that have nothing to do with this website. i'm almost 30 and a lot of my life this past decade has been very stagnant due to severe depression, with no real progress towards furthering my life in any meaningful way, and i think that what i was really frustrated with when i made that post was this very factor. in conjunction with this, i use online spaces a way to try to find an open and accepting community of people i can befriend and be myself in, because my undiagnosed autism has historically made it difficult for me to really socialize with people in a productive way that didn't make me feel like an outcast. i think a combination of the fact that online spaces are becoming increasingly more difficult for me to adapt to, as well as incresingly unfulfilling, adding to the lack of fulfillment in the rest of my life, was the subconscious realization i came to when i decided to make that post and take a break from tumblr for a bit. i'm frustrated that i have no fulfillment in my life, and i can no longer find it in online spaces that i used to enjoy and find so much meaning in
this being said, i'm actually doing shit with my life at long last. i'm enrolled in classes for an english degree, and i'm going to subsequently get an associates in creative writing that i'll be able to complete in a single semester after the fact, leaving me with two whole degrees under my belt that i can use in developing my future in the literary world. i'm taking my art more seriously as well, although i only post my bandom and lotr drawings on here, and i'm thinking of making an instagram account to start posting my art on there as well, as a sort of portfolio. i'm sick of this ongoing feeling of there being no meaning in my life, and i'm sick of feeling like i'm just wasting away and putting my mind to no use, and the immense joy i got just from seeing my class schedule for the fall semester made me realize that i am an intellectual, i'm an academic, and i'm in love with media and literary studies and this is what i find meaning in. this shit makes me so fucking happy and when i finished the picture of dorian gray the other day i IMMEDIATELY went on a tirade about its themes and symbolism just to myself and that, alone, was so fucking rewarding. i've been watching movies with my friend sweaterangst and just describing the themes of the horror used in the fucking texas chainsaw massacre movies made me feel so fulfilled even if he might have barely been listening LMAO i find meaning in seeking out complex and thought-provoking pieces of work and i
absolutely
am not getting that being on tumblr and talking about how i'm gonna let the fat kid deepfry me at the state fair (affectionate) (delusional) (severe)
with that being said, yes, i'm still asexual and i don't get fulfillment from purely sexual discussion, but i think i'm still gonna be answering asks about the sexy stuff so long as i find it engaging to a degree. i'm gonna start trying to use the guys you say as creative writing exercises because in the beginning that's what the fucking smut started as LMAO but i lost the plot a while ago and just let myself stagnate, like i said. i'm still gonna blog about bandom stuff but now that i have no reason to treat social media like it's all i have, and now that i'm breaking out of my depressed state in more meaningful ways, i think i'm gonna start blogging about a lot more things too and try to start having fun on this site again.
five nights at fat kid's is back, baby
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twenty questions
tagged by @are-you-quite-finished-giovanna thank you babe!! 🥰
1. why did you choose your url?
simply put i adore louis and i like purple and it just rolled off the tongue lol, but i also had a list of possible urls i also liked and i had to snatch this one up while i could!
2. any side blogs?
yes i have four....i'm not one of those 'everything goes on main and you can deal with it' type people.... but i have an inspiration blog @prickelndauge (art insp, lots of fashion, cool photography), an art-only blog @swmpwxtch, one just for spooky/creepy content because i'm really into horror manga and scary movies and that kind of stuff but i keep it off of main because i know a lot of it can often be triggering to others! (i also don't post much there but @bonepickng) and one for art references, life tips, random resources, and more donation sharing @am-ref!
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
soooo long i thought i'd be gone by now tbh. i know i signed up in 2011 after just browsing the site through random blogs and tags for ages, but i didn't start actively using my own account until early 2012!
4. do you have a queue tag?
when i actually remember to tag things i have queued i'll use 'i'm sleep queue' because all my early morning posts everyday are queued....i am an insomniac rip
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
keeping up with my interests better! i was like 15/16 at the time so it made sense. back in Ye Olde Days much like now—i really have come full circle lmao—it was mostly just for 1d and then some random tv shows/franchises i just to see content of semi-often, as well as finding cool art!
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
rn it's just a regular pic of louis! as much as i like using my collages or little edits as my icons, you can't see much of anything and it looks too busy sometimes (but also the photo i have rn....i am always thinking thoughts about it soooo)
7. why did you choose your header?
it's pretty! i wanted everything to follow a color scheme + i love embroidery and fancy gowns!
8. what's your post with the most notes?
ok i thought it was gonna be one of my old larry chibi doodles because i know a few of them hit 1k+ notes, but i deleted those in 2017 and apparently now it's this 6 year old like....funky photo study i did of dan howell from 2015 when i still watched him and amazingphil a lot?? i mean at least it's something i was once proud of lmao....there's a few art posts i have with semi decent notes that i pretend i Do Not See
9. how many mutuals do you have?
i think rn 40 something so not very many, although i unfollowed a lot of people i was moots with when i left my last fanbase so that's probably why 😬 i've been meaning to check out more HL/ot5 people though!! i love mutual interaction but i'm afraid of being annoying if i'm any degree of attentive
10. how many followers do you have?
overall i have almost 2.4k rn, but there's a decent amount that are totally inactive or at least don't interact with me so it feels like....a lot less lmao but since re-joining 1d i've already made up like all the people i lost when i left my other fanbase of almost three and more so thank you for actually liking my work and maybe me as well 🥺💗
11. how many ppl do you follow?
around 370 rn!
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is a shitpost fdngjkdf like my tags are bad enough lmao, no one needs to properly share the bs i have to say
13. how often do you use tumblr?
pretty regularly rn but there are times i'll go completely MIA depending on what i'm into/how busy i am!
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog?
in the past i have had some....issues with other people i've met on here but never directly had confrontation with them? most of the time that's happened i figure it's been one-sided though because i can get irritated with certain behavior really quickly—like i always say my heart is big and open but my bullshit tolerance is dangerously low—but when that's the case i'll just unfollow or block without saying anything?
although back in the day there was one instance (and seriously if anyone remembers this you deserve a medal because this shit was Ridiculous) where i kinda but not really called out another 1d fanartist who posted untagged noncon fanart they'd done of at least two of the boys, and then acted like it was no big deal (like. 1. those are irl people my dude and 2. untagged noncon art?? in front of my salad??) and their friends kept defending them for it and tried to come for me claiming i was a proponent of Purity Culture when i'm not and literally all i said in my post on it was that in my own opinion it was kinda fucked up to draw noncon art of real life people—not characters played by actors! but actual real people as themselves—in the first place, but if you felt the need to post highly triggering content like that the least you could do was tag it accordingly
but i think that was the last time properly so i guess times within this fanbase are still chaotic as ever just in a different way?
15. how do you feel about "you need to rb this" posts?
Annoyed™️ like don't guilt trip me over a post lmao i do what i want !!
16. do you like tag games?
YES i love to talk about myself after years of trying not to show any personality online out of fear of judgement dfjkngdf
17. do you like ask games?
yes! i want to do them more but i'm always afraid of reblogging one and then getting nothing and looking like a Fool :'(
18. which one of your mutuals is tumblr famous?
i guess i have a few moots that are kinda well-known or at least get good interaction within the community we're a part of? also isn't that phrase kind of an oxymoron at this point adfjkdf
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
not past platonic friendly affection lmao but honestly what is it like to have a realistic crush on an actual tangible person versus someone in the public eye who doesn't even know i exist.....it's been so long and i am so lonely please send help
20. tags?
@niallnailme @bolitodequeso @milkcurls @exzouis @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @got-my-devotion @aliensyndrome uhhh anyone who'd like to please consider yourself tagged by me! literally if there was an 'all my moots' button i'd just pick that lmao and as always no pressure/sorry if you've already done this and i haven't seen!
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I’ve been debating doing this for some time now because for months I have been making posts out of tags because, like I said EVERYTIME, Sean doesn’t have to know everything we think. He doesn’t have to get wrapped up in everything. But since people to this day still take posts that I say (and others) and focus on things and completely miss the point and/or take it out of context to then post in the tags so spread false positivity and information, might as well do it then myself!
Truly, honestly, I am exhausted with this community. It’s been the most long dreadful thing year and as a result this year feels like 12 years.
People trying to constantly silence others who are going through actual hard times or voicing their opinions on things (ON THEIR OWN BLOG. MOSTLY OUT OF TAGS). Coming into inboxes to be like “that’s not PMA of you” , “ Seán would be dissapointed in you”, or telling people to “just leave” is disgusting.
How many times must we go through what PMA means? Sean has said over and over it’s not just a “always be happy” thing. That’s not realistic! People have used that (myself included) in the past to actually help themselves in ways as a small reminder. That just because today is bad, doesn’t mean tomorrow will be or that it will always be bad. To better yourself and take care of your mental health, even if you slip up at times. People have taken PMA and twisted it into forced fake positivity that “you must always be happy” and use it AGAINST people. How can people claim to be “‘more pma” and in the same breath say “Sean would be dissapointed in you”?!
Speaking of, don’t claim that Seán would be dissapointed in others just because they said something personal on their own blogs. People have the right to complain about things or have annoyances about things on their own blogs. Someone is annoyed with something irl ?- let them be annoyed. Someone is annoyed that their art doesn’t get reblogs but instead gets thousands of likes? - Let them be annoyed!!
Speaking of art with likes vs reblogs, people truly need to support creators that you like. People in this community who make edits/gifs & art constantly feel discouraged because their art doesn’t get nearly the amount of recognition as the jokes/memes that they make. People can spend hours, days, weeks, Hell even MONTHS on creative projects but when it’s done it gets like hundreds or thousands of likes but only like 38 reblogs (to name a number). But when those same people make a meme or joke post it can get hundreds of reblogs. It stings as an artists and creator. It has been making well known artists in this community lose motivation completely and not even want to creat anymore. But people see it as “shitting on people who make memes” it’s not. People can make memes, most of us don’t care about that, what we do care about is people only liking art (that they clearly enjoy since they liked it or even commented on) but refusing to reblog it. We aren’t saying to reblog or like things you DONT enjoy but if you clearly like it why not support a creator and reblog it? It’s not to boost ego like “oh I’m soooo great!!” its to help creators see that you do enjoy our hard work and that makes us want to push ourselves healthily more to create better things! Hell, there are so many young artists in this community that need support! Give them that! Spread work around, tags nice things, encourage them! Likes don’t encourage artists and if for sure doesn’t help if all you do is reply.
You can enjoy memes or whatever like I said, but when the tags are just constant jokes and hardly any art it’s no wonder why. Because being funny seems to get more attention then putting in hours up days of work. The same memes over and over, jokes going so long that they run dry by day 2, it’s evident where people’s support is. And that’s what’s making most artists leave, they feel discouraged.
But of course I don’t expect Seán do change everything! No one does! He is one person and a busy one at that! I don’t blame him for getting anxious whenever he comes online at all! I know he most likely wants us to be happy and content but sadly he can’t do that for every single one of us. I know he cares, I truly do. I’ve been watching him for years. But as of late it seems to be “joke funny first and only jokes”. It feels disconnecting and commercialized. But during the beginning of the year it didn’t nearly feel like that for me personally. It’s as if communication and connection are gone, which is sad because I don’t want it to seem that way. But it’s not Seán that seems that way too but also the community. It for sure isn’t me growing out of him or let’s plays either because I have 0 issue watching other lets players I enjoy and I also enjoyed him collabing with friends since there was so much genuine fun energy! It just seems like if Seán can’t be funny that he won’t be liked, which isn’t true. I hope he doesn’t feel that way but it sometimes reads as that. I want him to be happy but when he says things that contradict himself I get a bit worried.
People who complain, are upset, irritated, hell maybe even angry at things should be allowed to be. Let people be upset out of tags. Stop dragging everything everyone says into tags to make it “discourse” because it’s not. Most of us just want to scream into the void and pop off, but people dragging it on is what causes the exhaustion. The community desperately needs communication. Talking to each other. Not being “I’m right!!! You be happy and shut up!! Sean look at me!!” Or treat Seán like he is our dad an run to him each and every single time you have a problem. He isn’t some godly figure that can save you he isn’t your dad stop treating him like that to get your tiny bit of instant gratification.
Also, before anyone says, know I’m not attacking or wanting to purposely hurt anyone in perticular. Kids/teens who might see this know I’m not trying to go after you please don’t take this to heart if you disagree. Adults who are reading this I beg for you to please behave as such. Not to say “don’t have fun” because I’m 22 over here having a blast over dumb things unrelated to this post/situation, but to try to read and understand what is being said on why communication is needed.
Tags have been so dead and people are leaving for many reasons and it’s disheartening but I don’t blame them at all.
I was never going to make a tagged post but like I said in the beginning, fuck it at this point! Because I’m tired of people twisting words and taking things out of context to put it into tags. I’m tired of others trying to silence people who have justified complaints who never posted in tags to begin with. I’m tired of forced fake positivity. People using PMA against others.
I am tired
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For Anyone Looking for Not-Super-Angsty-Stuff
I’m compiling mine (or at least the less-angsty stuff) into one list for ya.
Seen ✔️✔️
His lock screen has three texts from Rey on it:
Rey Wife: Babe I know you’re probably busy right now, but you sent that pic to the wrong chat. Rey Wife: Bennnnnnn Rey Wife: Call me when you’re done processing your trauma.
And then about ninety chats from the Skywalker Ranch WhatsApp thread.
--
In which Ben sends a picture to the wrong chat.
The Sweater Curse
She’s never made a sweater before, but she saw the pattern on Ravelry and who cares if she’s only made (lumpy) hats before—she has to try it. She has to make it. She has to make it for Ben.
“You realize that Hannukah isn’t an important holiday, right?” Ben asks as she makes eye contact with him. His eyes are big and brown and—at this moment—mildly annoyed.
“Really? Is it a giant conspiracy theory? Part of the war on Christmas?”
“More than you realize,” Ben says and for the life of her she can’t tell if he’s joking. He does this thing sometimes that’s confusing—where he’ll say something that sounds mopey but is actually snarky and it disarms her every damn time. “In any event, ugly Hanukkah sweaters definitely aren’t a thing the way ugly Christmas sweaters are.”
“Well, they are now,” Rey says firmly. “I’m making you an ugly Hanukkah sweater. Deal with it. And stop moving.”
it's you and me (i know it's our destiny)
It’s just a kid’s game, he thinks when jealousy pangs in his heart. But it’s more than just a kid’s game.
It’s Pokémon.
It’s the only good thing in his life.
Shalom Rav!
In which Rey comes to terms realizing that she is attracted to the rabbi.
Apples and Honey
When Ben catches wind that his mother is planning to foist a potential girlfriend on him when he comes home for Rosh Hashanah, he takes matters into his own hands: specifically, he runs to Rey and asks her to pretend to be his girlfriend.
atlanta > all atlanta > community > missed connections
In which Rey meets a cosplayer at DragonCon.
Two to Tango
Rey: I need to ask you something awkward. Ben: What’s up? Rey: Can I give you a blowjob? Please?
Bang for your Buck
“We ready?” he asks her, sounding huffy.
“Nice to meet you Ben, I’m just familiarizing myself with your training,” she replies.
“Ok, well I don’t have all day.”
“No, you have,” she checks her watch, “another hour.” Because of course he’d booked an extra long session. Bless that sweet, sweet overtime pay.
“And you’re sure you know what you’re doing?” he asks her and she glances up at him, sure that her eyes are flashing because that’s fucking rude. She’s a professional. Amilyn wouldn’t have hired her if she didn’t know what she’s doing, and just because he apparently thinks he’s the center of the universe doesn’t change that fact.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get your bang for your buck,” she tells him icily.
A Picture's Worth
reyjay: hiya your art is amazing
reyjay: it’s a big ask but could you draw me for my art final tomorrow? i’m shit at drawing people and i can’t fail this. can you help?
He stares.
And stares.
And stares.
kyloren: is this some kind of a joke?
reyjay: no?? why??
kyloren: you’re asking me to help you cheat your exam, but you’re not even offering me money?
Forged
There are several reasons that Ben would never have dreamed he’d ever receive this text. The first is that he’d be invited to a Halloween party. The second is that he’d never in his life expected to be in a serious relationship, much less the sort of serious relationship where his partner would suggest matching Halloween costumes. And the last is that he is dating someone who’s show only and they’ve only almost murdered one another twice. Because he’s an A Song of Ice and Fire fan. He hates Game of Thrones.
(Not) Interested
We're bringing Speed Dating back to Space Battles Bonanza! Register online for one of our special Bonanza sessions of 15 three-minute dates so you’ll no longer have to look for love in a galaxy far far away. Choose from one of seven speed dating sessions, two of which are queer focused. If the Insurgents can blow up the Doom Moon in 11 minutes, let’s see if you can make a love connection in only three.
There’s a history of successful Speed Dating at Space Battles Bonanzas, with long-term couples, engagements and marriages now among the alumni.
--
In which Rey & Kylo meet at their fancon's speed dating.
do or do not (do the do)
In which Ben, in an effort to improve his stamina (look he's making progress, ok?) after reading some articles that he'll never be able to unread, receives some coaching (that he very much did not ask for).
(Very much did not ask for.)
A for...
Rey’s seeing double by the time there’s food on her plate. Oh. There’s food on her plate. That’s good. That’s unexpected at this point. “Eat,” Ben tells her.
So she does. It tastes good. Very good. She likes this food a lot.
“I’ll make sure she knows,” Ben says.
Oh she’s at that point of drunk where she’s just saying things out loud instead of keeping them in her internal monologue.
“You are,” Ben says, looking very amused.
She hopes she doesn’t say anything embarrassing.
“I promise, you haven’t yet, but oh boy, I’m looking forward to this.”
She shoves food into her mouth to keep herself from thinking out loud about his dick in her ass at his mother’s Passover seder.
The Love Committee
In which Rey, tired of her bad luck with dating apps and failed relationships, enlists her friends' help in determining who she should date next.
They take it a little too seriously.
💦💦💦💦
In which Ben accidentally implies that he gets his cardio from having sex on national television.
You, Me, and He
When they say that Kylo's brain is in his groin, they're not far from the truth.
Alternatively,
In which Kylo Ren is his own penis.
and beyond
“Please?”
For a moment, he thinks it will be like the first time, him begging, her crying and saying no and him not knowing how to protect his crushed heart.
But she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t say, “Please don’t go this way,” she doesn’t look horrified or disgusted. She just grabs him by the front of his shirt and tugs his lips down to hers before reaching down to cup his cock.
we decided not to kill the wolves (we wanted to be wolves)
A pack of wolves lives in the woods to the north of Raddus and as winter looms, they have their eyes set on Leia Organa’s stronghold. Rey may be new to Raddus, but she’s not about to do nothing while it may be in danger. And besides, Poe must be exaggerating about wolves the size of bears. She’s not afraid of monsters.
myosotis
Ben picked the flowers for their wedding.
The Kitchen
Rey and Ben, hunting for their first house.
Investiture
In which Ben goes to daven for his father’s yahrtzeit and manages to prove to himself once again that he is both a terrible person and a terrible Jew.
Oh and he sort of falls in love.
The Sweetest Thing
A post-coital trip to Waffle House.
with you i shall play
And when it's dry and ready, then Ben's dick Rey shall play.
Everything to Prove
“The show,” he says. “It’s probably best if they don’t—if we don’t—”
And Rey follows his line of thought at once. For all the program is one that doesn’t seem melodramatic—the height of drama in previous seasons came from someone’s cake falling over and that was about it—she does not doubt that the producers and cameramen would leap at the opportunity to make there be something out of nothing in their relationship—especially if there was something out of something.
“Yeah,” she agrees. “Yeah, probably. We can pick baking stations that are…” but she doesn’t want to complete the thought. She likes baking next to Ben.
“Or we can just be careful?” he suggests, sounding quite as pained by the prospect as Rey feels.
“Yeah, careful. I can do careful,” Rey says at once and her lips are on his again and he’s laughing now, and she’s laughing, and she didn’t think laughter would be part of all this. She didn’t think it could be. But here she is, laughing and kissing and holding a man who, at some point, she’s going to want to beat.
She does her best not to think of that now.
It’s a friendly competition, after all.
It’s not life and death.
It’s baking.
Brightblades
In which Rey learns about a startling kink of her new boyfriend, and in which, much later, they roleplay it.
The Knotting Shop
Ben realizes upon entering the shop that he had gotten the complete wrong impression from the name of it.
What the fuck sort of shop calls itself The Knotting Shop if it’s not about, well, knotting?
The answer, apparently, is a knitter with a sense of humor. An Omega, by the scent that seems to have landed in every colorful ball of yarn in the shop and which hits him right in the groin.
Let Go (Never Let Me Go)
In which Rey swipes right on Ben, 35. Probably too much of an asshole for you, but my therapist is trying to convince me that assholes deserve love too, so here’s me on Tinder, and it does not proceed as she expects.
crossfade (cursed and blessed)
The Talmud states that on Purim one is to drink to the point of not knowing the difference between “cursed is Haman” and “blessed is Mordechai.” In other words, you’re supposed to get so blitzed you can’t tell your friends from your enemies. Rey and Ben might be taking this a little too literally at Leia’s annual Purim Party.
Kind Stranger
Ben stares at the text for a minute before opening up his computer and typing “+7793 area code” into his web search. Jakku. Of course he wouldn’t have recognized it. He confessed himself surprised to know that Jakku even had an area code. Did people still live in Jakku?
#kylothekiller
It’s not the first time that Rey has seen Kylo pop up in her Fido stream, but it is the first time she’s clicked on him fast enough to be scheduled for a meet and greet with dog and owner on Saturday.
All Bets Are Off
“Fake girlfriend. What does that even mean?” Ben asks her.
Rey rests a hand on his arm, feeling the muscles underneath his sleeve. “Babe,” she says, leaning close to him. “It means we pretend we’re madly in love. Think you can pull that off for your office pool?” Ben’s eyes flicker softly between each of hers and he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.
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itaru talks about noah - part 1.
1. what’s the strangest/weirdest thing mun has watched on youtube? you know those raunchy parodies of rap songs and the versions where people are quite literally screaming the lyrics of songs? yeah, he watches that stuff a lot.
2. what’s the strangest/weirdest movie the mun has watched? i don’t know if he’s watched any movies that have been known for being strange, but a lot of the horror stuff he finds can get pretty creepy at times.
3. what’s your mun do when they become sad? do they hide it or talk about it? it really depends. most of the time, i think he hides it at first and then opens up when things start to go really wrong. it’s probably because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden.
4. how long does the mun stay upset for? again, it really depends on the issue. he does struggle with really bad mental health, so it’s possible for something to weigh him down for quite a while. i think a lot of it has to do with his willingness to communicate with others.
5. what’s your opinion of the mun’s fashion sense? basic bitch. well, more basic than me, but at times he does like to mix it up a lot and put jewelry together with a top that just...don’t naturally fit. i mean, have you seen the earrings he wears to class?
6. is the mun prone to mood swings? oh, very much so. one moment he’ll be so down to write, being all bubbly and completely running his mouth about the things he likes, the next he’ll get frustrated and upset and go to watch some funny shit on youtube or listen to music to hopefully help to stabilize his mood.
7. what was the strangest thing the mun has done that made the muse confused? doing kpop dances in the middle of his school’s hallway. that’s all i’m going to say.
8. does the mun like to shitpost/make funny posts a lot? he doesn’t shitpost a ton over here, but on his anime blog, i swear, sometimes the shit that he thinks of and comes out of his mouth is so strange that it’s just funny.
9. has the mun ever scared the muse? not in any particular way that comes to my mind immediately.
10. what about the mun does the muse find annoying or bothersome? sometimes he just can’t stop talking. i can never tell if it’s because of his ADHD or if he’s just excited about something, but sometimes he just completely interrupts my peace and quiet seemingly out of nowhere.
11. do you like the backstory your mun gave you? he didn’t really give me a backstory; he adheres to what my creators did for me. but he did give my sister a pretty nice name.
12. is mun a social butterfly or a loner? he’s a pretty social person, but he does have his moments. he likes to keep his distance, even though sometimes it’s hard for him to tell when he should be less energetic or give someone their space.
13. did you once not like your mun? if so, why? i don’t think i’ve ever actively disliked noah. he can be a bit obnoxious at times, but he’s a pretty cool dude.
14. do you wish your mun was more open to those around them? in real life and on tumblr? he’s pretty open with people in real life, but who am i to criticize him or even give him advice on the matter? i struggle with being open about who i am myself, so i don’t think it’s appropriate for me to judge him.
15. does your mun draw or write? if so, what work are they most proud of? he writes a lot and he does have some experience with art, but most of his focus goes into the things he writes. it’s hard to say what he’s most proud of, because he always describes his works as ‘short, sweet, and mindless,’ but i do enjoy whatever angsty stuff he writes. he says he’s not good with angst, but sometimes when i read his angst fics i can really get the sense of some things he may be struggling with in his unconscious. some of the things he writes just roll off the tongue, and in such a beautiful manner.
16. how long does it take your mun to draw/write a piece of work? it really depends on what he’s doing. an art piece, even a small sketch, can take him up to an hour, but his fics can usually take him between thirty minutes to two hours. his short and soft fics he usually spends about half an hour on, but his longer ones, like his angst and relationship fics, he can spend up to two hours on.
17. what other social websites does your mun use? other than tumblr, he’s probably most active on his anime twitter account as well as some discord servers he’s on, but he also has a facebook, instagram, ao3, and sparingly uses deviantart, reddit, pinterest, soundcloud, twitch, quotev, and wattpad.
18. who are the first 3 people the mun thinks about when asked for blog recommendations? obviously, the mun is a bit biased, so he’s gonna first off recommend his best friend’s blog orang3lover. they post a lot of cute memes and social stuff, and they follow each other on their main blogs. here in the tumblr rpc, he’s really been enjoying writing and interacting with demontragedy’s chikage, aka my lovely boyfriend, and gloomyheart10′s banri, who is the bane of my existence but miraculously still considered to be my best friend.
19. how many people are in your mun’s close-knit circle? he has a few friend circles actually. the one he interacts with the most would probably be his friend group from high school, but he also has a lot of friends, less of a circle, that he talks with a lot and hangs out with in college. this college friend group all consists of music majors, so he feels really at home with them. he does also have a few small friend groups online, but they’re pretty sparse and don’t have as many people as his irl friend groups.
20. how does the mun feel about their blog/blogs? i get the sense that he’s really happy with the blog he’s set up here in the tumblr rpc, but he has mentioned that with his personal blogs he wants to be a bit more creative about the content that he releases. his main blog is like 99% reblogs, so he wants to think about how he can release more original content that will attract more people to his corner of the internet.
21. what ask meme does your muse like the most? i don’t think he has a specific one, but he does like to reblog a lot of fluff-based sentence starters.
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