#one time someone i knew went to germany and they jokingly said 'did you know it doesnt even flood after it rains heavily there?????' lmao

[kimmkitsuragi]

that moment when internet dies every 2 minutes <3

[samwilsonshandsandass]

I Think I'm Seeing Triple

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Sam Wilson x Sam Wilson x reader x Bucky Barnes x Bucky Barnes x Bucky Barnes Summary: You just want to get settled in in your hotel room for a weekend conference, when your room is also given to two other attendees of the conference. And then something happens no one can explain and four surprise guests are also in the room Warnings: Smut, oral (f and m receiving), spanking, choking Word count: 3240 A/N: @keanureevesisbae were suffering together because of a post with four pictures each of Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan and then I had a thought and got some inspiration.

You went up to your hotel room after the first getting to know each other event at the weekend conference you had to go to. You hadn’t even put your shoes near the door when it opened and in came two other attendees. You knew who they were, had seen them all over the newspapers and also columns. Sam Wilson aka Cap and Bucky Barnes aka… he wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore and you didn’t know if he wanted to claim that title to morph it into something good or if he was called something else. So, Bucky Barnes.

Before you could ask them what they did in your room, and how they got a key card when it was clearly booked, and before they stopped their bickering about who was the blanket hog, there were two flashes of golden light and from each flash tumbled a pair of men identical to the pair of men who just walked into your room. Just their clothing separated them from each other.

“Who are you?”

Sam Wilson asked and looked at someone who seemed to be his friend. Although that friend had entered the room beside him.

“I’m Bucky” The one spoken to, said.

“No, I’m Bucky!” A third version of the man said.

“And you?” The one who seemed to be the actual Sam, wanted to know.

“Sam.”

“Who am I then?”

“My less attractive twin?”

“Ha-ha.”

“So, There’s three Sams. And three Buckys. That’s not weirder than other things we were confronted with. And you are?” The Bucky who had entered the room with the first Sam questioned and looked at you.

“Y/N” You answered slowly. “And why are all of you in my hotel room?”

“We’re here because the person at the reception told us this room was available. We’re last minute additions to this weekend conference” That was one of the Buckys. He gestured to himself and one of the Sams.

“O- kay. And you four?” You looked at the seemingly identical versions of the Sam and Bucky who were supposed to be here.

“There was a flash, everything went cold and now we’re here” The third Bucky replied.

“We had something similar happening” The Sam in the middle said.

“Alright. Okay. Cool. I’ll just be blunt and say I wouldn’t have been opposed to one Sam and Bucky being in the same room for an entire weekend” You mumbled after you looked shortly to the heavens.

“You do know we’re supposed to actually attend meetings and workshops and networking events, don’t you?” The Bucky you dubbed “Bucky number one” asked you.

“Stickler for principles…” Sam number one grinned. “I know you. You’d do anything to get out of at least the networking events.”

“Of course I would! Still doesn’t change the fact networking just means getting drunk and fucking someone just for the sake of fucking someone. I’m not for that. And I can’t get drunk.”

You saw the other two Bucky’s nod in agreement.

“So, that’s the defining trait of the different Bucky’s” Sam number two smiled.

“As if you like what comes out of these events” Bucky (you couldn’t say which) grinned back.

“No, I’d cook for someone first. Be a gentleman.”

“See. And I’d take her dancing.”

You cleared your throat.

“I still don’t understand all this” You stated.

“Me neither” Bucky number three. “Maybe we could each explain the basics of yourselves.”

“Good idea. So. In this universe, my universe, you” You sat back on the bed and pointed at Sam number one, “were a para rescue and then used what you learned during that time to save the world. And you” You looked down at Bucky number one who was laying on your belly, “were a P.O.W. during World War II and then basically got turned into a human weapon and got frozen to keep your body the way they needed it to be. You were found and then, a year later in probably the technologically most advanced country on earth you finally got freed for good from it all and now use your skills for good as well. With him as your partner.” You pointed at Sam number one again.

“Wait. You had a second World War? We only had one. You know, the one from 1914 to 1918?” Bucky number two asked. “What happened in your universe?”

“The Germans thought the cure for their humiliation in Versailles could only be coped with by committing genocide and reaching for world domination.” Bucky number one explained. “And my best friend got quite big and muscle-y because of that. Why didn’t the Germans do in your universe what they did in mine?”

“Some Germans had their heads on straight. Fought back when the political landscape of 1920s Germany was close to morphing into street terror and they succeeded. They stayed a democratic country and that was that.”

“My Steve got all the muscles as well.” Bucky number three smiled. Then it fell from his face. “We actually served together, after he changed like that. When the Germans and their allies were defeated, Steve went on to train new recruits back home and I went to Korea.”

“So, you aged normally. How come you’re here now with a body like back then? And why are you also looking like that, when there even wasn’t a second world war and in theory you should’ve lived a long live and, no offence, be long underground?” You wondered and looked between Bucky number two and three.

Bucky number two snorted. “I know what you mean. After school, I actually got a scholarship, one of the few back then, for Teachers College, which is a part of Columbia University. I became a Math and Physics teacher. After some years, the university offered a few places in an experimental study about nitrogen and cryogenesis.”

“And I suspect you accepted one?” Sam number three asked.

“Yep. Wanted to see what progress the future made in science and to have the body and age and mind to enjoy it all fully.”

“That takes being a nerd to a whole new level. I thought the Bucky I know was flexing!” Sam number one exclaimed.

“Just because I could read the Hobbit when it came out and you couldn’t?” Bucky number one shot back.

“You read that, too?” Bucky number two and three exclaimed.

“No matter the universe, they’re nerds” Sam number two mumbled.

“And you two? What happened with you in your universes?” You looked at Sam number two and three.

“My and Sarah’s parents died quite a few years ago. My nephews were little, and yet, I thought I’d help my family more if I went off to the air force. Sarah wouldn’t have that and then the community got wind of my plans and they kept me there” Sam number two smiled. “I took over more of the workload to keep our fishing business afloat so Sarah could focus more on the kids when they were really little. When they got bigger, we shared the workload more equally and still do that now. Haven’t regretted not moving away one day.”

“I also didn’t move away. Well, not entirely to Washington, after our parents died. I worked my ass off to get into an undergraduate program for social work and now I’m working as a counselor for families in tight spots in St. Bernard” Sam number three told.

“Okay. This is quite much, but I can work with that. Or at least understand more. Want to know something about me?” You looked around at the six men around you.

“Isn’t that confusing for you?” Bucky wanted to know.

“On every level, yes. So, I’ll just concentrate on the fact there’s six handsome and hot guys and just one of me.”

“That’s certainly something” Sam smiled.

“Yeah” You laughed quietly and took his hand.

You felt him stroke the back of your hand and move towards you. With a half smile and half lidded eyes, he pecked your lips. He moved back slowly. You cradled his head in your hand and pulled him in again, scratching his head all the while and earning a moan. You moved your lips against Sam’s, sucking his tongue into your mouth. He chuckled against your lips and moved back again. This time just enough to be able to bite your lips and then move his tongue against your lips again.

When he allowed you to breathe, another Sam asked: “You gonna hog her all for yourself or let us have a piece, too?”

“As if I’d deny myself the joy and pleasure of all of you…” You simpered.

“Well then” He pulled you up to stand and walked you to the middle of the big, fluffy rug in front of the bed.

Sam stood in front of you. With a faint smile, he unbuttoned button for button on the top of your dress. At the same time Bucky knelt behind you and let his hands wander from your ankles to the hem of your panties. He pulled them down slowly, until they caught on the hem of your stockings. Bucky pulled them down as well and put them on the ever growing pile of clothes near the foot of the bed.

“Would you look at this body!” Came from the direction of the bed, where the other two Buckys sat when the Sam before you let your dress fall from your body.

“God” That drawn out moan came from the loveseat with two Sams on it.

You smiled and opened your eyes, looking around to see the four men naked and teasingly stroke their cocks.

“C’mere baby” Sam purred.

The two men who had just undressed you went over to the bed. You stood in front of the loveseat.

“And where am I sitting?”

“Laying” Sam smiled and pulled you down.

Your torso laid across the legs of the Sam sitting left and your thighs across the Sam on the right. You wiggled your ass jokingly until you felt a gentle spank on the right cheek.

“We’ll be the ones to make you move, baby. You just relax and take it” Bucky said from the bed. You had no idea which one.

“Although that doesn’t mean we’ll be soft” Another Bucky said. You could hear the smile in his voice.

“I don’t think she wants us to be soft. Well, maybe a little?” The Sam who had your torso laying on his legs, questioned.

You looked up at him and opened your mouth to answer but before you could, he slipped two fingers into it. His other hand wandered to the nape of your neck. He started massaging it, and with a guttural moan, you spread your legs.

The Sam with your legs on his thighs now kneaded your butt, lulling you into a sense of security and comfort.

Then came the first spank. Pretty light, on the left butt cheek. You squeaked in surprise.

Before you could say anything, he landed a slightly harder spank on the right one. You whimpered.

The third spank was even harder, on the left cheek again.

The fourth spank made your ass cheek jiggle and yourself moan.

Sam continued in that tempo and alternated the cheeks with every other spank. The other Sam moved his fingers in and out of your mouth at a different pace, not giving you a chance to get used to just one rhythm.

From the couch pants and moans could be heard. Sam didn’t let you move your head, squeezing instead of massaging your neck each time you wanted to look in the direction of the bed.

“No looking, baby. You just feel and hear.”

You nodded as best as you could and felt a visceral need in your core. You tried to alleviate it, humping the side of Sam’s thigh.

“You need something more, baby?”

You mumbled around the other Sam’s fingers.

“I’d say that’s a yes” The Bucky in the middle of the bed grinned.

“C’mere baby.” Both Sam’s helped you up and got you in front of the bed.

You looked up at Bucky and he petted your cheek.

“Ready?”

You nodded and knelt in front of Bucky and another Bucky pushed your head down to make you take everything until you gagged. They both gave you short periods of reprieve when one of them pulled a little back until they made you gag again. With each gagging noise you made, you felt yourself getting wetter.

Suddenly you felt the tip of a cock between your ass cheeks. With a sigh, a sigh as if he came home, the man behind you penetrated you slowly, making you feel every inch. Bucky pushed you down quickly. The pace made your eyes water and a tear fall but that didn’t keep you from recognizing that beautiful brown skin in the corner of your left eye.

“We’re so good, we make you cry?” Sam grinned, showing his canines.

You nodded once when you heard a growl above you. Suddenly your mouth was empty and not a second later long ropes of cum hit your face.

You opened your eyes just in time to see Sam’s hand rubbing your clit as he pulled your back close to his chest. You felt the warmth of his chest and his accelerated heartbeat at your back. He bent forward to caress your neck. Sam kissed your neck and bit every spot he had just caressed. You bucked against him, trying to get him moving deeper into you. You felt him smile against your neck where he had just sucked. He pressed his index and middle finger to your clit. He tapped it and with two further movements, you felt him squeeze your neck and with a long whine you came.

You wrapped your hands around Sam’s left wrist and that did it for him. You felt him spurt into your core and your legs trembled a little with the aftershocks.

“God…” He moaned into your neck and kissed it.

“J- just me” You mumbled in a haze with a grin.

You heard several chuckles from the bed. Someone pulled you slowly up and put you on the bed. Several people stroked your body and kissed you softly. You, in turn, caressed Sam’s face and could almost hear him purr under your touch.

When you felt like you were in the here and now again, you laid on back on the bed, the head in the lap of one Bucky with one Sam kissing the life out of you. He had his hand wrapped around your throat and squeezed now and then. You were moaning and whimpering continuously but you didn’t know why exactly. Maybe it was because Bucky massaged your head. Maybe it was because Sam choked and kissed you so beautifully.

And maybe it was because what happened between your legs. Looking down your body, spread out like a feast, you saw one brown haired head. Two strains had escaped the low bun and stuck to his face with his spit and your slick. Next to Bucky, there was Sam. This was the Sam with longer curls. Perfect to rake your fingers through and pull him even closer to you.

Both of them licked, nibbled and sucked on your private parts and on the tighter rim a little below. Occasionally they bumped heads and shoulders, chuckling each time. Each chuckle sent vibrations through you and made you pull their hair. Every time you did that, they moaned. Even more vibrations went to your clit. A vicious cycle.

Until they stopped everything.

Although you wanted to form words of protest, nothing articulated came out of your mouth.

You saw the two grinning at each other and they rammed three fingers each in you. Three in your pussy and three in your ass. You could only moan and your back arched up.

Bucky attacked your g spot right away and Sam hammered into your ass. With the contrast of that to the kissing of the other Sam and the head massage by the other Bucky, you couldn’t focus on anything, just letting it happen. Out of the blue, you sensed something warm and wet and occasionally sharp on your nipples and your neck. You could only guess that was because of the other two.

With one more come hither motion of Bucky, you screamed into Sam’s mouth and came. You felt your walls spasm and spasm and spasm. Yet, Bucky didn’t stop. Each time your pussy let up, there was another come hither motion and Sam hadn’t stopped fingering your ass once.

Sam and Bucky bit your nipples until they were swollen and the Sam who still had his hand around your neck, squeezed.

Your body, that hadn’t ceased moving since your scream, spasmed as a whole and then everything went black.

---

As you came to again, one pair of Sam and Bucky were grinning up at you and two pairs were grinning down at you.

“There she is again” Bucky smiled.

“I take it you’re satisfied?” Another Bucky asked you cockily.

You nodded, panting.

You were maneuvered until you laid on a mountain of pillows. From that position you could see all six men gripping their erections. Your body was sweaty, spit from six men clung to it, your face was painted with the cum from one of the Bucky’s and between your legs there was a mess of the cum of one of the Sam’s and yours. Still, you wanted more. And you knew how to get it.

You made grabby hands, decidedly close to the men’s cocks. They grinned and moved closer to you.

“Please?” You made puppy dog eyes at them.

“How can you say no to this very beautiful and very naughty girl?” One of the Sam’s mumbled to himself.

“You don’t, never!” Bucky answered and started jerking faster.

You licked your lips and sat up a bit. You didn’t want to miss one second of this show. Their hands went over their cocks, faster and faster until the six faces contorted in pleasure and you saw your belly and breasts be painted by their cum. It was accompanied by several growls and whimpers.

You smiled tiredly, when the six collapsed around you. You pulled them closer, reveling in their warmth.

“Gimme some minutes, doll” Bucky whispered into your ear.

After some time, he went and got several warm wet washcloths. He and another Bucky cleaned you up softly. Only after that, did the men clean up themselves. You turned on your side, tired and sated. Sam pulled you into his chest, Bucky molded himself to your back and put his legs over yours. The other four cuddled up to you three in the middle, making you a tangle of seven people in the middle.

“Does one of you know when the first meeting of tomorrow starts?” You yawned.

“At nine” The Bucky of this universe mumbled.”

“The cyborg strikes again” A mix of a yawn and smile was audible in his voice. “Do we have to attend that?”

“I think so.”

“Ugh. And what about the four not from here?” Sam wriggled his arm free and hugged one Bucky and one Sam to his back.

“No idea” The Sam hugged by Sam shook his head.

“Let’s sleep for now. We can worry about that tomorrow” The Bucky between the two Sam’s said.

[rei-does-stuff]

Hii!! Here’s a CH fic! It’s a lil gift for @dinolil1 but I thought y’all would also enjoy it!

Lmk your thoughts!!

—

“You have nothing to worry about, relax. You’re all worked up over nothing…” England said gently. Yet he had a bit of malice in his voice. It was…concerning. His hand pressed gently against Germany’s shoulder. “Would I lie to you…?”

.

.

.

I think you would lie.

I think you have lied.

Germany was in his office. He seemed stressed, well, more stressed than he usually was. Something was clearly on his mind. Though he tried to distract himself it wasn’t very effective. He sighed, leaning back in chair. Seems like burying himself in work wouldn’t be helpful this time.

But suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Germany tried ignoring it. But it got louder and louder. He went up and unlocked the door. And there stood England, right outside the doorway. Germany grimaced. “What could you possibly want at this time? I’m really busy and you aren’t even supposed to be in the EU building.” He said bitterly. “Woah woah there’s no need to be that aggressive!” England said. “I just wanted to talk with you, I was thinking we could maybe go somewhere or something-“

“So let me get this straight, you decided to come all the way to the EU building, climb up three flights of stairs, and manage to avoid the EU but also any other countries that would’ve stopped you from knocking at my door, all because you’re bored and wanna chat?” Germany said blunt. England chuckled nervously. “Well when you put it that way—“ He was cut off by a stern ‘no’ from Germany.

However before Germany could close the door, England quickly spoke again. “W-Wait! C’mon Ger! It’ll be fun! I know you never go out with anyone so today would be great! We all need a break! I’m sure it’ll be at least a little better than staying in a cramped office all day!” England said, trying to convince him. Germany groaned. “I hate when you’re right..” He mumbled, “Fine. If I say yes will leave me alone?” He asked. “Yes sir! I’ll pick you up!” England said happily before leaving.

Germany closed the door. Sighing. Why did it have to be HIM, out of everyone. He would’ve been fine if it was someone else, America, France, hell he’d even be fine with the UK! But it just had to be him. God…This was gonna be a long night, he could tell that much.

He couldn’t shake off the memory. Usually he was fine around him, why was today any different?

“Why are you nervous? You have no reason to be. Everything is fine.” England’s words from back then were cold, quiet, yet had a hint of sincerity. Only a hint though. Regardless it hurt all the same. Everything was fine, calm down. Why was he worrying so much? “You’re fine, you have nothing to fear, are you really gonna cry because of all that?” Relax, relax, nothing is wrong! “I don’t know about you, but if I saw my own brother breaking down over something so small, I’d be so disappointed…” YOU ARE FINE! FUCKING RELAX ALREADY!

Beeep beeep.

Oh. It was time to meet up with England..

It felt like it was only a few seconds since he was in his office. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. But he was fine. He just had to relax. He was at home, nothing was wrong. England was waiting for him. He couldn’t just sit here stunned. He got up and faced his front door. Hesitating to go outside. You’re fine. You’re okay. You need to calm down..

He opened the door. “Germany there you are! I was thinking you fell asleep or something!” England chuckled. “C’mon I was thinking of going to this park, it’s great place to relax and stuff! I take Sealand there all the time! But it’s especially amazing at night!” He said excitedly. “Plus you out of everyone definitely needs to relax a bit!”

“Haha..Yeah. Well, we better get going. We wouldn’t want it to close…” Germany said softly. He was still shaky. He still needed to calm down.

The Car ride was quick. Thankfully there was little traffic. England seemed so happy and calm. It made Germany feel a little better, but the pit in his stomach was still there. By the time they got there basically no one was at the park. Only the the two of them. “Are you sure it isn’t closed?” Germany asked. “Noo it isn’t closed! Maybe—“ “Maybe—“ Germany was cut off by England. “Besides!! No one is here to kick us out so c’mon!!!” He said happily.

Germany went a sat in a nearby bench. England was quick to sit nearby. “So…What do you want to talk about…?” England asked happily. “Uh…Haha…I’m not sure…” In reality Germany had a lot he wanted to talk about. About the past, about how England used to be like. About how he even felt about the man. But he seemed to nervous to even say anything. He didn’t want to ruin anything, but at the same time he desperately did. It wasn’t a nice feel.

England put a hand on Germany’s shoulder. He had a concerned look in his eyes. “Hey, you alright? You can talk to me about anything y’know?” He said gently. “You have nothing to worry about..”

That phrase..God Germany was starting to hate it. This time, there was no malice, no hint of any ulterior motive but the phrase still was so frustrating. It kept bubbling and bubbling until…

“Shut up!”

“Huh…?” England was confused, a little startled by Germany’s aggressiveness. “Just shut up! You have no idea what you’re talking about! You keep saying things will be okay but they clearly aren’t!” Germany said angrily. “I-I don’t understand—“ “Yes you do!” Germany said. “For years you’ve excused all your shit behavior behind a nice smile and trying to convince me that I had no reason to be upset! That ‘everything would be okay’ when even you knew they wouldn’t!” Germany was so angry and upset that he was actually shaking a bit.

“Oh…Oh.” Looks like England finally understood. “G-Germany look I understand you’re angry but that was all in the past—!” England didn’t really wanna admit what he did was wrong. He wanted all of that to stay in the past, but he knew that wasn’t a good way to think. But before he could say anything else Germany spoke again. “That’s what you always say! I fucking know it’s in the past that doesn’t make it okay!” He said angrily. “I know! I know I just..! Why bring it up now? Why not tell me earlier?” He asked. “I..! I don’t know…I don’t know! But I’m telling you now aren’t I?” Germany was frustrated.

“Germany I…You’re right…” England said gently. “Huh-?” Germany was a little surprised. He wasn’t expecting that. “You’re right.” England repeated. “I…I treated you horribly…I treated a lot of people horribly. I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t act like nothing happened. And I’m sorry for that.” England said sincerely. “I…Thank you..I actually didn’t think you cared..” Germany admitted. “Of course I care! You’re my friend! Well- I consider you, a friend..!” England replied. “Thank you…I don’t really know if we’re friends but, I’m glad you care..” Germany said.

“Haha…I guess the park wasn’t that relaxing today huh?” England said jokingly. “I can drop you home if you want..” He offered. “No, I’d actually prefer to spend a little more time here. If that’s alright with you..” Germany said. “Of course! I’d..Love that!” “Then c’mon! Otherwise the park owner will kick us out!!” Germany laughed.

.

.

.

Maybe things will be okay.

[scarletwidowaf]

Ghost Of You - chapter 2

AN: it seems like this story is going to be full of random conversations and grammar mistakes. I'm truly sorry 😂

Also i need to make a chapter index somehow but im practicaly a dinosaur when it comes to stuff like these.

Warnings: terrible jokes. probobly terrible writing and grammar.

Words count: 1011

tumblr index  *   ao3  *  wattpad  :)

----------------------------

"So now what?" Natasha asked while lying on the couch.

The two women were in Wanda's flat living room. The tv was on and some random movie was playing in the background.

It was three days since Natasha came back and both girls couldn't bring themselves to talk about the situation they were in up until now.

Wanda sat crossed legged on the floor in front of the couch, her hands in her hoodie pocket and her hair in a messy bun.

"What?" Wanda asked, her eyes still fixed on the tv but her mind seemed to be in a different place.

"You okay?" Natasha asked.

Wanda turned around to meet her gaze, the younger girl smiled softly at Natasha

"Yeah. I was just.. thinking" she confessed.

"About what?"

Natasha's asked softly and wanda found herself using every inch of self control she had to stop herself from crying.

'About us' She thought.

"About everything" she said.

"Something in particular?" Natasha asked and moved to sit on the floor next to wanda.

Natasha thought wanda looked beautiful.

She always thought that, but now she couldn't stop her heart from beating fast. She hoped wanda cant hear it.

Wanda looked older then before the snap, which was a bit odd considering the fact she was one of the snap victims and didn't really grow old in the past 5 years.

But she looked older now. She looked troubled and in constant pain and Natasha wanted to help her but couldn't do much. She couldn't even hold her hand or play with her hair like she used to.

Yet, Wanda was still painfully beautiful with her green eyes, plumped red lips and her brand new honey-blonde hair.

The last time wanda changed her hair color was after Germany, back then both girls decided to change their natural hair colors so it wont be as easy to identify them. Natasha chose blonde and Wanda chose red because 'it reminded her her favorite person".

Wanda didn't answered, instead she turned her attention back to tv.

Natasha didn't pressure her any further, knowing the younger girl will come around eventually.

"We should try to figure out how to fix this situation" natasha said and wanda laughed softly.

"Someone's in a rush. Do you have something better to do? Do tony, steve and you were raving in heaven before i took you away?" She jokingly said and natasha smiled, Happy for the change in mood.

"Yes. That's exactly the reason" Natasha went along with the joke.

"I knew it" wanda winked at her.

"Really bold of you to assume i ended up in heaven" natasha said with a small smirk. Her eyes sparkle.

"You literally died to save the universe, romanoff"

Natasha smiled. It wasn't a smirk or a knowing smile, it wasn't a fake one of one of her cynical ones. It was a real smile, one of the rare smiles that was saved for special people.

"And look where it got me" Natasha joked.

"Next to me"

The two set in comfortable silence and finally moved their focus back to the tv, both leaning on the couch's front.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" Wanda asked after a few minutes. Natasha turned to her and Wanda turned off the tv.

"You? Never"

"A lot had happened in the last few months, Natasha"

"I doubt it will change my mind. Nothing can change my mind about you Wanda."

It wasn't hard for Wanda to find Natasha's eyes in the dark. The two sat next to each other and Natasha's eyes were one of Wanda's favorite things in the world.

"Do you still love me?" She asked and Natasha laughed softly.

"Unfortunately yes" Natasha smiled sadly.

"Why is that so unfortunate?"

"Well 1- because Im dead." She joked.

Wanda waited for her to continue.

"And 2- because even if I wasn't it wouldn't have changed anything. You did your choice, and it was the right one."

Wanda knew Natasha was right.

Their situation was complicated from the moment they started to see each other as more than just friends.

they were always close but somewhere along the line things started to get another direction.

Natasha never saw Wanda as a kid, yet, she never let herself look at Wanda as an adult too. Since they had a undeniable age gape.

when they met Natasha was already an adult while Wanda was a 16/17 years old teenager.

After a few years alongside each other, in the facility and on the run, Wanda started to develop a crush on the older woman.

At this point Wanda wasn't the young teenager she was when they met, yet it took Natasha a while to acknowledge her feelings towards the younger woman.

When she finally did it it was too late, Wanda and vision started dating and Wanda was happy. And that's all Natasha ever wanted for her.

On the other side of the line Wanda knew Natasha liked her, she found out about it one night when the two sat in their shared hotel room and ate Chinese food. She somehow ended reading Natasha's mind on accident.

It made her happy and scared at the same time.

She truly liked vision and everything about their relationship was so natural and easy that she couldn't bear the idea of not having it. It was the small amount of normalcy she ached to have in her life.

with Natasha it was different, she truly loved her. In every way possible. In a desperate'i will take a bullet for you' kind of way. And it scared her the most.

both girls knew that in some tragic sadistic way, they were each other's soulmates. They would always find the way back to each other. Thats just how it always was. They were two different sides of the same damn mess.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Natasha asked nervously after a few minutes of silence.

"Ill sell them for a dollar"

"That was terrible" the older woman laughed.

"Yeah well. And you're dead"

[anogete]

In Between

Hi, folks.  I’m sorry I have nothing to offer as far as fic goes.  Things have been... ::sigh::  You know, I don’t know what things have been.  Not good, not bad.  Just... things.  I wanted to talk--get things out of my head--this morning, but I realized I don’t have a person/outlet who can accept these things right now.  So, I will put them here for anyone who cares to read them.

1) My car blew up.  Well, the engine did.  I was on my way back home with groceries last Saturday, and I lost all ability to accelerate and brake.  So, I puttered out on the side of the road and waited to be saved.  The issue may be covered under the warranty so I had it taken to the dealership.  They’ve had it for a week and still don’t have answers for me besides an offer to lend me a car for free until they can figure out what to do with my car.

2) This deserves it’s own point, though I almost included it on the first point.  I’ve never bought a car without my grandmother.  She was under five feet tall and had a tendency to wear sweat pants and Christmas sweaters year-round.  She smoked Winston Lights and carried a purse covered in rhinestones.  The car salesmen didn’t know what hit them because she wasn’t at all the sweet old lady who would roll over and accept their first offer.  She was hard to read and she wouldn’t give an inch.  She also wouldn’t tell them what she was willing to pay.  No counter offers from her; she’d just tell you to “do better.”  Anyway, she worked her magic when I bought all three of my cars.  When I realized the problem with the engine was serious and might require me getting a new car, I went into a mental tailspin.  Yeah, yeah, I was worried about fitting it into my budget and all that, but mostly I couldn’t seem to cope with buying a car on my own without my grandma there to hold my hand.  I’m almost 39 years old and the thought of doing this without her had me sobbing in the floor.  Except, I didn’t realize my tailspin was due to my grandmother at first.  At first, I just thought I was incapable of handling stress.  Maybe that’s still accurate.

3) While we’re talking about expensive-ass shit, I knew the air conditioner and furnace on this house needed to be replaced sooner rather than later when I bought it last February.  It looks like the time has come.  I managed to find a nice man with very odd hair (think a longer version of the Prince Valiant hair-do, but bright white) through my boyfriend’s dad.  He does this for a living and said he’d give me a discount and do for $5,000 what other places were telling me would cost $9,000.  So, that’s happening next week.  I have the money, but the idea of writing a $5,000 check makes me want to puke.  Ugh.

4) The days are running together.  I’m working from home.  I can’t complain, though.  I’ve got it better than most.  I’m alone all day.  I have a library with a desk.  I can go downstairs and make tea or lunch in my own kitchen.  I’m getting paid my full salary with bonuses.  I can pretty much make my own hours.  The company I work for is taking the pandemic seriously and has told us that we can all work from home until we feel comfortable returning to the office.  Their timeline for “normal” is months.  I don’t think I’ll be back in the office until late summer, if that.  Those who want to return are permitted to, but they can’t use the public areas (kitchen, conference rooms) and have to abide by some strict safety requirements.  And they can choose when and how often they go into the office, working the remainder of the time at home.  So, better than most.

5) I’ve been doing this social distancing thing since March 19th.  It’s not difficult for me.  On good days I’ll exercise (I have a Peloton) before logging into work around 9am.  On not-good days (which seem to be more often than not), I’ll skip the exercise and just log into work early.  Work keeps me busy and I spend a decent amount of my day on the phone with clients.  I go to the grocery store once a week, but I order for pickup.  Someone else does the shopping for me and loads it into my trunk.  This is nothing new.  I’ve been shopping that way for years.  Now it’s just harder to get my usual pickup slot because everyone else has joined the party.  I do miss taking a break from work and leaving my office to grab a coffee and sit outside on a bench downtown.  I guess I could do that outside my own house, but it just doesn’t feel the same.

6) A few months ago, a husband and wife who are clients came in to meet with me at my office.  They’re in their 80s and both were having trouble walking.  They parked in the garage next door and couldn’t find the elevator to exit.  I walked over and escorted them to our office building.  They were both struggling with walking and the wife (Rose) had been fighting lung cancer for a couple years, so I suggested they wait outside and I’d valet their car once we were done.  The thought of making the trek to their car alone was painful to me because it was a monumental struggle for them to walk down a hallway.  Their daughter-in-law called me two days ago.  Rose passed away two weeks ago.  The husband, a former literature professor for a university, was in the hospital with four broken ribs because he’d fallen shortly after Rose’s passing.  He was a Jewish child in Nazi Germany during the war.  He’d told me stories about hiding from the Nazis, surviving off of tree bark and whatever he could find in the forests.  He also jokingly told me that he’d live until he was 120.  Now, it looks like he won’t survive the year.  He and Rose would tease each other all the time, but you could see all that love between them. Whenever I’d call him, he’d ask me in that wonderful accent to wait while he got “the boss” on the phone as well.  Rose thought it was silly that she was “the boss,” but she humored him.  You know, they’re shorties, too.  Five foot, nothing.  Just like my grandma.  Hearing that Rose was gone and Dr. (he’s a PhD) was likely soon to follow just broke my already fragile heart.

7) Fragile heart, huh?  Yeah.  After the car situation and the realization that one day I’m going to have to do big life things without having my grandma to help me, I was feeling pretty raw.  But I’ve been trying to be responsible and do things I’ve been putting off lately.  So, I gathered up all those medical bills from Ferguson’s illness last September.  (Ferguson was my soulmate little chihuahua mix that I had for over 13 years.)  I had pet insurance on him and hadn’t bothered to make the claim because I couldn’t handle it.  But it’s been almost a year so I pulled out the invoices, which were over $2,000, and logged into the website and starting inputting the info to file the claims.  The little box asks for a description of why I took him to the vet.  And answering that question just brought back all that shit like a wave.  I remember reading this nice description of grief and how it is like waves.  At first they’re big and they knock you around and you can’t breathe.  But over time they get smaller and you learn how to navigate them.  Still there, but manageable.  Filling in that box resulted in a bit of a tidal wave that knocked me on my ass.  My boyfriend came home to find me sobbing at my desk like a lunatic..  He’s... not so good with emotional shit.  And I usually keep it bottled up so that no one knows what’s going on inside me.  But some days...  Some days it just overflows.  So, after confirming that nothing terrible had occurred and that I was reliving September 2019, he slowly backed out of the room to leave me with my grief-wave.

8) I want to be one of those succulent people.  You know, the ones who have succulents lining their windowsills.  The dining room and kitchen windows are full of this oddball little plants.  The boyfriend hates it, but I told him he’d have to deal.  I’ll die on this hill.  I’m a succulent lady.

9) I’ve been reading memoirs or, rather, memoirs through collections of essays.  I don’t know if it’s the mental state I’m in or if social distancing has got me subconsciously reaching out for life beyond my head, but I can’t seem to read much else.  I loved Liz Phair’s Horror Stories.  I’m reading The Book of Help by Megan Griswold right now.  I’m determined to procure a signed copy of What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker by Damon Young.  He did a virtual event for a local bookseller recently and they have signed copies available for purchase.  I just need to muster up the will to call them and ask them to hold one for me.  The little snippets of their life and experiences via these memoirs through essays bring me some measure of comfort.

10) I tried to watch Euphoria on HBO.  I managed to make it through the first episode, but I don’t think I can watch more.  I can’t relate, but that normally isn’t a necessity for an enjoyable story.  Maybe it’s just too depressing for me right now.

11) I binged Dollface on Hulu and wish I had more to watch.  Parts of it hit me hard.  I’ve always had trouble maintaining friendships, period.  But maintaining friendships while in a relationship has been damn near impossible for me.  Just like Jules.  Except, I’m not nearly as cool or gorgeous as Kat Dennings.  And I have no friends in this city to go back to.  Just friends at work. 

12) I haven’t worn makeup for 2 solid months.  I’m starting to miss it.  I found old selfies I’d taken in which I don’t recognize myself.  Did I ever look like that?  I must have since here is photographic evidence.  I look like shit now.  I’m forever in yoga pants and a hoodie with half-wet hair from the shower.  Maybe putting on a pair of jeans and a cute shirt and some makeup will make me feel like a human being again.  Maybe I’m not doing as well as I thought in quarantine.  Huh.

13) I hope you all are well.  If you’ve sent me a message, I’m so sorry for not responding.  My mental state has been delicate lately and the silence from me has nothing to do with your kind words.  I promise I read and treasure and appreciate anything that is sent to me.  I’m also sorry for having no offering of fic or a promise of something to come.  I haven’t written since last summer.  It’s been almost a year.  I guess I’m in a dry spell.

14) Since I’ve been struggling with loss/grief lately, I’ll leave you with a quote from Philip Pullman, taken from his novel The Amber Spyglass.  It’s about death, I suppose.  Or maybe just a transition to something else entirely.  It’s nice to think of my grandma and Rose and my sweet, sweet love of a dog falling in the raindrops and riding on the wind through tall grass.  If it wasn’t raining, I’d take my computer outside right now.

“Even if it means oblivion, friends, I'll welcome it, because it won't be nothing. We'll be alive again in a thousand blades of grass, and a million leaves; we'll be falling in the raindrops and blowing in the fresh breeze; we'll be glittering in the dew under the stars and the moon out there in the physical world, which is our true home and always was.” 

[fic-for-fic-sake]

Does Your Mother Know

A/N: Peter is 18 in this, nothing inappropriate. Age gap. You’re like 25, he’s 18. Also yes I got the inspiration while watching Mamma Mia. 

Pairing: Peter x reader 

Even though the Avengers now had an upstate facility you were staying at the tower for the time being. You were working on your masters degree in neuroscience at Columbia, so Stark offered an available room in the tower, of which you were grateful. You had cringed at the thought of having to take a car into the city for your classes every other day but Tony hadn’t thought twice about setting you up at the tower, claiming you could keep a watchful eye on everything. 

What you didn’t know, what Tony conveniently forgot to tell you was that Peter was also staying in the tower. He started his freshmen year at NYU for Biophysics. It’s not that you had a problem with Peter, not at all. You had known him since he was 15 and Stark recruited his help at the airport in Germany, but Peter had developed a bit of a crush on you. Which more than weirded you out. He was only seven years younger than you but the thought of dating an 18 year old made you balk, it felt wrong. 

Most times you could steer clear of Peter, claiming you had research to do (which wasn’t completely untrue) or saying that you were going out with your friends when really you were hiding at your friends apartment, avoiding him. After the tenth visit to your friends apartment she officially banned you for your own good. And she was right. You just had to tell Peter you weren’t interested in him like that, it should be easy. 

The next morning you readied yourself to talk to him. Practiced phrases over and over in your head until they sounded right. You wanted to let him down gently, he was still your friend after all. And you wanted to make it perfectly clear that this didn’t have to mean the end of your friendship, you could move past this amicably. All of those thoughts left your mind when you walked into the kitchen to see Peter chugging a glass of water. 

Your mouth went dry. He was only wearing a pair of gym shorts slung lowly on his hips, giving your eyes the perfect chance to glimpse the v that was prominent. You also got a very close look at his abs which were, um, impressive to say the least. You maneuvered your way around him to get a coffee mug and start making your brew for the day, your mind now muddled. He refilled his glass once more and then gently pressed his hand against your lower back before moving behind you, “I’m just gonna sneak by you.” His voice husked in your ear. 

You’re so hot, teasing me. So you’re blue but I can’t take a chance on a kid like you. It’s somethin’ I couldn’t do. 

You coughed to cover up the shock as you filled your mug with coffee. You didn’t bother to say anything, much less risk a glance in his direction, as you added milk and sugar to your drink. You knew what he was playing at, you just shook your head and laughed before turning around to go back to your room, conversation be damned. 

But like the dutiful enhanced human he was, he was in front of you in a second, blocking your path with his lithe but toned body. He leaned against the wall casually, like he had done this hundreds of times. 

“Don’t I get a ‘good morning’?” Peter asked jokingly, cocking his head to the side. You could see mirth in those chocolate eyes of his and you wanted nothing more than to wipe the expression off of his face. You just rolled your eyes as you walked around him, giving his half naked body a wide berth. 

There’s that look, in your eyes. I can read in your face that your feelings are driving you wild. Oh but boy you’re only a child.

You had been around the block enough times to know what that expression meant on a guy. Hell, you had given that expression yourself once or twice, enough times to know that nothing good, or rational, ever followed. You were saving the both of you an even more awkward conversation than the one you had actually worked out in your mind. 

“Good Morning Peter.” You responded in a singsong tone as you walked back to your room, hot coffee in hand. You could hear his resounding chuckle as you closed your door and prepared for the day. 

An hour later, as you were preparing to leave for class you got a text from the Iron Man himself. 

Stopping by later today for a little get together. Nothing major, just a few friends. Tell Pete

You rolled your eyes as you typed your response. For Tony, “little get together” meant the whole damn team. Here. In your apartment. You made sure to have a cleaning crew come by the tidy up while you were out. You were about to send a text to Peter when you literally ran into him while going to the elevator. 

He caught you, hands gently but firmly pressed against your shoulders as he helped you right yourself. 

“Woah, where’s the fire?” He questioned, warm brown eyes meeting your own. 

“Class, and then back early because apparently we’re having company tonight.” You explained to him as the elevator opened and you both walked inside. Peter was standing closer to you than usual but not close enough for you to comment on it so you let it slide, for now anyway. You had enough to deal with. 

That night you had come back to the tower at 6pm sharp. You were thankful that the cleaning crew was gone and left the place looking spotless. You had two hours to go before Tony and whoever else arrived so you took the time to relax and unwind. You played music as you took a shower and tried to pick out something to wear. You weren’t sure what you were in the mood for until you saw the perfect dress. 

It was a button down shirt dress that stopped mid thigh. The best part was that it was in royal blue, Peter’s favorite color. Just because you didn’t want to date him didn’t mean you couldn’t have fun. He sure had a hell of a good time teasing you this morning. It was time to give him a taste of his own medicine. You grabbed a deep tan belt to wrap around your waist and didn’t bother to do much with your hair. You painted your lips a deep cherry color before adding small diamond studs to your ears. You looked at the clock and it read 7:55, perfect timing. 

You came into the main area where Peter was sitting on the couch wearing a striped button down of his own and dark wash jeans. He stood at attention when you walked into the room and you could feel his eyes roam over your body. You gave him a coy smile and fluttered your lashes before the elevator door opened. Tony spilled out along with the team each carrying an assortment of food and drinks. 

Rolling your eyes you made your way over to Tony who was already directing where everyone should place the numerous pizza boxes and different cases of beer, hard cider, spiked seltzer, and other kinds of mixed drinks. Honestly, after the week you had, you were more than grateful for this but you would never let Tony know that. 

“I thought you said a ‘little’ get together.” You said, a twinge of a whine in your voice. 

Tony smiled as he threw an arm over your shoulder and gestured at the team, “There’s only like what, 12 people here. Relax.” He pressed a kiss into your hair before going off and grabbing a slice of pepperoni from Nat. 

You were happy to watch the lovely chaos unfold before you but then Bucky was walking towards you, a hard cider in his hand. 

“Ugh you’re the best I love you.” You moaned to your best friend as you opened the can and took a generous swig. Bucky was your best friend on the team and even though you were glad to be living in the city and thus close to campus, you were bummed that it meant you couldn’t see Bucky as much. 

“Careful sweetheart, don’t let Pete overhear ya.” Bucky teased, opening a beer for himself. You shook your head at his antics, because he knew how much it was on your mind. You, of course, had told him about it and he, being very unhelpful, told you that you could probably stand to get laid. 

“You know what, I take it back, I hate you.” You replied before going into the kitchen closet and pulling out a cooler. Bucky helped you load it up with ice before you took it to where the alcohol was. Bucky made some lame ass excuse about checking in on Steve as Peter headed in your direction. You silently cursed him as he walked away. 

“Mind if I take a beer?” Peter asked, gesturing to the brews in the cooler. 

“Aren’t you a little young Pete?” You teased, reaching inside to get him one anyway. 

“I’m old enough.” He replied brazenly before taking the beer from your hands, letting his fingers brush up against yours. 

Well I can dance with ya honey, if you think it’s funny, but does your mother know that you’re out?

Fine, two could play at this game. You, having finished your cider alarmingly fast, reached down for a spiked seltzer this time, fully aware of Peter’s eyes on you the whole time. 

“It’s getting a little warm in here don’t you think?” You questioned, as you lifted the cool can and pressed it against the column of your throat, moaning a little bit as you did so. Peter’s Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he watched you slide the aluminum across your skin and the trail of condensation it left behind. 

You took that feeling of satisfaction with you all the way to the couch where everyone else was chatting about their latest missions. 

“Ugh I wish I could be on missions with you guys, getting a masters is hard.” 

“But the work you’re doing is literally groundbreaking. I would argue that it’s more important than what we do on the field.” Steve replied, ready to cheer you up, and you were glad for it. 

“I agree, I think you’re doing great work.” Peter said casually, as he sat in the vacant spot next to you, opposite Sam. 

“Hey Pete, how’s freshmen year going? Meet any cute girls?” Sam teased and you internally groaned. You wanted to smack Sam. He knew what he was doing. 

“The girls at school don’t really interest me,” Peter began, placing a hand on your bare knee and rubbing his thumb back and forth across your skin, “I’m into someone else.” 

“Oh yeah.” Bucky teased, eyes narrowing in on Peter’s hand. “What about you doll? You into anyone right now?” Oh you could kill him. You could murder Bucky and you’re pretty sure nobody would stop you. 

“Well...there is someone.” You started, at this Peter’s hand stilled, waiting for your reply. 

I can chat with ya maybe, flirt a little baby, but does your mother know that you’re out?

“Really?” Peter choked next to you. 

“Mhm,” you started, “But I don’t know if I should give him a shot or not?” 

“And why’s that?” Bucky asked, knowing damn well what you were doing. You gave a small smile before you answered. 

“I need someone...with experience in certain things. And he's younger, so I don’t know if he’s qualified for the job. If you know what I mean.” You responded, letting the implication of your words hang in the air. 

Bucky choked on his beer and Peter removed his hand from your leg all together. You smiled. That should buy you some space, or so you thought. Twenty minutes had passed before you got up to use the bathroom. The team hardly noticed, they had picked a movie to watch and everyone seemed pretty glued to the TV. There was only an acknowledgement from Bucky to bring him another beer when you got back. 

You checked your phone in the bathroom and gave yourself a once over in the mirror before you planned to head back out. The only problem was that when you opened the door, a very determined looking Peter was standing on the other side of it. 

“Can we talk?” He asked, voice soft. You conceded and he walked into the bathroom with you before you closed the door again. You turned around to find him staring at you, brown eyes now a liquid amber shade. You didn’t say a word as he moved towards you until your back was pressed against the bathroom wall. He brought a hand up to rest it over your shoulder, pressed against the wall. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, gaze locking with his. 

“I think you know.” Was all he said in response, as he leaned in closer to you. You just shook your head as you rested your hands on the planes of his chest and then ran them up to rest on his shoulders. 

“What do you want Peter?” You asked again. 

“I want you. I want to kiss you.” He admitted. And maybe it was his honesty, maybe it was because you had been teasing each other all day, or maybe it was because you hadn’t had more than one drink in a while, but mostly it was because you wanted to see how far he was willing to take this, so you said, “then do it.” 

He pressed his lips to yours in a gentle, if not unsure, kiss. But you were having none of it. You made up your mind and you were done with his teasing. If he wanted to kiss then you were going to give him the kiss of a lifetime. You threaded your fingers through his hair and pressed your body against his own as you deepened the kiss. You felt his arms wrap around your waist and you moaned your appreciation against his lips. 

You gently coaxed his mouth open with your tongue and wasted no time in exploring every inch of him, enjoying the throaty moan that followed. You walked him backwards until he got the idea and sat on top of the toilet seat, with you in his lap. Your lips never left his as you undid the buttons on his shirt and started to kiss the newly exposed skin, appreciating the deep lipstick shade that marred his otherwise perfect complexion. You moved off of  his lap as your hands found his belt buckle and began to undo it. 

“Woah, are you sure?” He asked, his face flushed and hair mused from your hands. 

Take it easy, better slow down boy, take it nice and slow. Does your mother know?

You cocked your head to one side and rested your hands on his upper thighs before you spoke. 

“Isn’t this what you wanted? I can’t think of another reason why you keep teasing me.” You whispered in a husky voice, looking at him through your lashes. The picture of submission. Before he got to answer there was a knock at the bathroom door. 

“Doll are you still in there? I wanted to make sure you weren’t dead.” Bucky called from the other side and you had to fight the giggle that made its way up your throat. Of course Bucky knew what was happening here. You pressed a finger to your lips for Peter to be quiet before you answered. 

“I’m in the middle of something, I’ll be out in a minute.” You called back. You heard Bucky say something under his breath before you heard his footsteps recede back into the main room. Suddenly you got up from your knees and went in the mirror to wipe off your lipstick and fix your hair. 

“Well, this was fun. Let’s do it again sometime.” You mused to a confused Peter who had a mixture of a shocked and frustrated look on his face. 

“Wait, where are you going?” He asked as you unlocked the bathroom door and made for the hallway. 

“To watch the movie with the team.” You said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “See ya out there.” You gave him a wink before you walked back into the main room and sat down next to Bucky who gave you a knowing smile. Peter came out five minutes later and took a spot on the floor next to Tony who asked him where the hell he’d been. Pete looked like a goldfish as his mouth opened and closed repeatedly, looking for something to say, before he came up with an excuse and Tony went back to watching the movie. 

You were curled into Bucky’s side with his arm wrapped around you when you felt Peter’s eyes on you again, giving you a questioning look. You only gave him a smirk and a wink in return before turning your attention back to the movie. 

Does your mother know, does your mother know that you’re out?

[ohnoivemadeamistake]

I DID THE THING!

Enjoy, ya friccen nerds

First Act of Kindness, pt. 1

Blood on the ground. Blood on her teammates. Blood on her enemies.

Vivian Miller, the BLU Medic, was trying her best to get to every teammate that needed her, but it was difficult. The RED Team was really aggressive this match, especially their Soldier and Scout, who were shit-talking the other team to the max.

"Looks like they got some anger issues," Derek, the BLU Sniper, jokingly stated before Vivian left to take care of the BLU Scout. However, she didn't quite make it to him before his blown off arm landed in front of her and he ran out of Respawn, even more irritated than he was.

"Medic!" BLU Spy called from the bomb, which was being held by the RED Heavy and Demoman. Vivian started towards the payload, but the RED Spy shot her in the shoulder, uncloaking him. He laughed at her before running up behind BLU Soldier. She called out to him, but he dropped to the ground before he turned around. He laughed again.

"You should have stayed in Germany with your paints, you DaVinci wannabe!" He taunted. She stared at him as he turned around straight into the BLU Pyro, which prompted her to laugh at him as he burned. Pyro looked at her and gave her a thumbs up.

"Hmmpf mm(goodjob)! Hmmpf hmm hmmpf(go get healed)!"

The Medic smiled slightly and nodded before running to where she knew a health packet would spawn for her.

She saw it, but before she got too close, she saw the RED Sniper fall down closer, his bloodied hand outstretched towards the same health packet she was running towards. The Medic got a little closer around the small corner, and saw that his leg had been blown up partially, most likely by the BLU Demoman. It was just his left leg, and as she stared, examining it from afar, she saw that the pant leg was pretty much gone past the knee, and it was bloody and his foot was gone, the area where his ankle was had just been pouring out a massive amount of blood, and she could see a dark red trail end not too far away, so he must have just lost it.

The BLU Medic was looking at him for a hot minute before he started crawling towards it. She felt sorry for him, and thought about how much he would need this health packet rather than her, even though he was the enemy.

---

He shouted a profanity as he fell victim to one of the BLU Demoman's sticky traps. The RED Sniper had been trying to head up to his secondary nest, after he got chased out of his primary one for this location, but the enemy had predicted where he would be going long before he even knew he'd have to go there!

You see, he thought to himself, THIS is why we've been so aggressive all round. Because the BLU Team has to be so SMART! They're always so coordinated, and work together so nicely, and we AREN'T so coordinated, and we DON'T work together so well! Even with the two calm and collected teammates that can make a plan for our victory, we never seem to follow any of their plans since our brute force always seems to do the job!

He felt his eyes water in anger as he hit the ground. Anger at himself for not seeing the obvious sticky bomb until he tripped on it, triggering it. Anger at his team, for choosing to rely on their strength instead of their smarts. Anger at the BLU Team for using both their strength and smarts. He grabbed his dark orange aviators to hide the tears that would start to form at the sides of his eyes.

He held himself against the wall and started limping towards a health packet at the end of the hall. He slowly transitioned from the wall to trying to use his rifle as a crutch, which wasn't a very good idea so he went back to limping against the wall. He was so close to the health packet now, the RED Sniper forgot that his foot was missing and fell face first into the wood flooring, his hand stretched outward towards the packet. He looked up and continued trying to crawl towards the health packet.

He was so close before he saw a pair of boots step briskly in front of him, bloody at the bottom. Before he could sigh, a blue pair of rubber gloves reached down and grabbed the pack. It was the BLU Medic, and she got the pack before him!

He groaned into the floor, but he didn't hear the steps of her boots. Instead, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Sniper looked up to find himself staring at the blue-turquoise eyes of the BLU Medic, and she was holding the health packet out in offering to him. He noticed a bullet hole in her right shoulder, so why wasn't she taking it for herself?

"Aren't you going to take zhe packet or not?" She told him. He snapped back to reality. He couldn't help it, her eyes were unlike anything he's seen …

"Sorry …" Sniper sat up and grabbed the packet, prompting her departure. Even though he should've been focusing all his attention on the packet and getting his foot back, he found himself watching her go. He was confused, mostly. She was the enemy, and he'd been headshotting her all round. Why would she help him? Did she feel bad for him? Was it instinct?

---

The BLU Team had finally won their first match in a week, and they were all ecstatic. The RED Team had been bullying them with their 4-match winning streak, this loss had really crushed them. Both Scouts had taken the time that the BLUs were celebrating to shit-talk each other, saying they were either absolute garbage or just flat out yelling profanities at them.

The BLU Medic and Soldier were chatting it away, the Medic complimenting her father endlessly for how well his planning with the BLU Demoman had led to their first victory in a week, and the Soldier, flustered, telling his daughter that he shouldn't get all the praise before shushing her when he saw the RED Sniper walking towards them with a very slight limp.

"Hey, doc, could I ask you something in private real quick?" The Australian asked her nervously.

"Not in private," the Soldier got in between him and the Medic, which was reasonable, but the Medic got a bit defensive.

"Soldier," she put a hand on her father's shoulder. "Maybe you can stand guard, so ve can talk." He nodded, and the Medic followed the Aussie around the corner and stopped when he felt that they wouldn't be heard.

"So, I don't mean to be rude, but why'd you help me back there?" He asked her. The Medics eyes lit up.

"Well, I don't quite know," She replied nervously. "I guess that, as a Medic, it became an instinct to help everyone that might need it. It … I don't think I should have done it with what we are paid to do, but it just felt right." She looked up at him again. She looked past his dark orange aviators and into his dark blue eyes and found sincerity.

"Well, I just wanted to thank ye, for that," He said, and the Medic started to feel a bit hot under the collar. She tends to get at least one thank you from every member of her team during a match, but after a match and from the RED Team? The people she was hired to kill, not heal? It was nice, she supposed. "It's not something I would've expected from someone I've been absolutely destroying the entire round," he concluded, and she laughed.

"Alright, now let's get back to our own teams, you buffoon!" She bapped his arm with her fist in good fashion when she was able to recollect herself, which caused Sniper to flinch. He laughed it off, said goodbye, and they both went back to their respective spawn rooms, and teleported to their respective bases, while still thinking about that health packet.

[idyllicstarker]

Hey, same anon! If you wanted an idea, could you maybe do Tony introducing peter to either pepper or Rhodey (regardless of what the relationships are) cause I’ve always wondered how and when it happened?? Don’t worry if not x

Of course anon, thank you for the idea x

I chose Rhodey just because I feel like Tony would have spoken to Pepper a lot about Peter beforehand and at the end of homecoming she saw Peter so yeah..

I also chose to do irondad just because you said you preferred it.

So let me just, get right to it...

Tony never thought that he’d be the type of father a kid could want.

Don’t get me wrong, he was cool, and suave but he just didn’t think he’d be cut out for that. At least not without some careful thinking time beforehand. You know, nine months probably would be enough. But unfortunately, Peter Parker was now a fully grown spider boy. There was no waiting time as he was bought to life. He was there. But yet, it wasn’t a secret that Tony already felt a paternal responsibility to look after the boy, and protect him from the moment he laid eyes on him.

He wasn’t so welcoming to that feeling at first. In fact he tried to take a more ‘hands off’ approach. He assigned Happy to Peter, in hopes that he would keep the reckless boy safe.

But then everything kind of went wrong.

The sight of the teen being vaulted across the airport in Germany had Tony’s stomach dropping in the most uncomfortable of ways. 

Of course, as the famous tale tells, Tony attempted to avoid the issue like he did best. Until, of course, Peter got dunked in the lake, broke a ferry and of course crashed Tony’s own damn plane, almost killing himself in the process of it.

And it was in fact, that moment, in which Tony realised, he needed Peter, and Peter needed someone there for him.

Either way, Peter’s appearance around the tower was no longer an uncommon thing. It just so happened that, for a while, no one really knew.

With the talk of the ‘internship’ still in the air, Peter was just his intern. But as Tony’s fridge became stocked with pickles, apple juice and ice cream, pencils being left behind his couch cushions, and a beaten up and frayed hoodie always laying casually on the coat rack, it was no wonder that his closer personnel started to question it. 

One of these in which was his ever loyal best friend Rhodey, It wasn’t talked about, only noticed. But it also wasn’t like Tony was trying to hide it either.

So when F.R.I.D.A.Y. announced one Thursday evening that Peter Parker had arrived in the tower, Tony didn’t even flinch. Rhodey on the other hand, who was sat opposite Tony in the lab looked up surprised.

���Peter?”, he asked, an eyebrow raised in confusion. He was skeptical of the new name he’d never heard before.

Tony nodded his head, looking up from his paperwork. “My intern”, he answered casually, the tip of his pen hitting against the table slowly from where he mindlessly tapped it.

“So what’s he doing it?”

Tony didn’t reply, only shrugged, he wasn’t too sure himself. Peter wasn’t scheduled to be here, not that they really kept to that schedule anymore. Peter came and went as he liked. Sometimes when Tony wasn’t here he’d come in to find the boy adorably curled up on the couch asleep.

It wasn’t long until he heard the soft voice walking into the lab. “Hey Mr Stark.”

However, Tony didn’t give much of a greeting in return. “Don’t you have school tomorrow?”

Peter physically frowned at that, shrugging his backpack off his shoulders and dropping it carelessly onto the floor, having yet to notice the other man who was in the room. In which by the way, was looking between them awkwardly.

“Teach training day tomorrow Mr Stark”, he answered, sheepishly shuffling forwards. “Do you think i can stay tonight?”, he asked hopefully, bright eyes melting Tony once again. 

He was automatically nodding before he had time to consider it. “As long as your aunt is okay with it. But what have i told you about leaving your backpack on the floor like that”, a slight hint of scolding in his tone.

However Peter was no longer listening, frozen in his shy walk (because he still got all flustered whenever he asked Tony a personal question such as that) his wide, and yet excited eyes settled on Rhodey.

“Y-You’re War Machine”, he whispered slowly, which earned an amused nod from Rhodey himself. 

Peter scrambled to wipe his clammy hands on his sweatpants before fumbling to hold it out to the man. Tony laughed loudly at that before gesturing to Peter, 

“Kid this is Rhodey, Rhodey this is Peter. You’ll be seeing a lot of him around here so i’d get used to him”, he told him.

Peter still seemed a little starstruck, and seemed to repress a slight throaty sound of apprehension i guess as Rhodey shook his hand. There was a moment of locked eyes before Rhodey too laughed and nodded his head.

“Nice to meet you Peter”, he said. 

All he got back was a scrambled “uh huh” and a clumsy nod of Peter’s head. 

Tony smiled affectionately, standing to gently pat the boys back and bring him back down to earth. “Kid go take your backpack upstairs, grab a snack because i don’t want you turning all moody on me due to you forgetting to cater towards your freaky metabolism”, he told him, squeezing his shoulder slightly. “and then come back down and we’ll finish what you were working on yesterday.”

Peter looked up with a sheepish gaze, nodding his head. “okay mr stark, i’ll be down soon”, he said, flashing him one of those grins before sprinting off to do as he was told. Of course, he couldn’t help but flash a yearning look towards Rhodey as he slipped out the door, backpack in hand, as Tony rolled his eyes slight.

Rhodey looked over at the man with a knowng glance, letting out a slight huff of a chuckle. “You seem close”, he noted. Tony dropped his gaze down to his shoes as he ran his tongue over his teeth. 

Eventually he let out a breath and nodded his head. “yeah, he’s a good kid, and needed a father figure of sorts.. i’m not saying that I-”, he began, but was cut off by a hand being placed on his own armm

“It’s okay Tones, I understand.”

Peter’s visits only started becoming more frequent. Even May began to jokingly complain that he may as well live there. And Rhodey watched on.

Tony didn’t want to admit that he was anything more than a mentor to Peter, and Peter was too embarrassed. But everybody already knew.

Tony was the father figure that Peter needed, but he’d become the dad he’d always needed.

[irondad-not-ironsad]

Better Place

AN: So this ideas been in my brain for weeks. and I wrote a bunch of it a few days ago but I accidentally deleted it, so here’s take two

“and ah, you’re my favorite thing

ah, all the happiness you bring

well it feels like I’ve opened my eyes again

and the colors are golden and bright again

and the sun paints the skies

and the wind sing our song

it’s a better place since you came along” -rachel platten

Tony wishes he could say the day he walked into Peter Parker’s life was a day like any other, but that was unfortunately not the case. It was likely one of the lowest points of his life. Pepper had left him a few weeks ago, and now half of his team was following. Worse yet, he was now resorting to recruiting a teenage kid to help detain what were now being called the Rogue Avengers. He tried to push that all aside as he put on his mask to introduce himself to the kid’s aunt. Not his Iron Mask, as that would likely startle her quite a bit, but his figurative mask that was the persona he took on at press conferences and business meetings, the persona of a cocky, flirtatious, carefree billionaire. After a brief questioning. Mrs. Parker buys his phony story of a grant and soon the boy arrives home and he is allowed to speak with him in private. Seeing the kid in person for the first time, it felt hard to breathe. Years of practice allowed him to hide his panic but he was internally at war with himself, he knew this kid was a 14, but his brain did not truly realize how young that was until his eyes were seeing it. Even his brain, which many considered genius, struggle to consolidate this gangly teen with the graceful vigilante from the videos. Be brought the kid to Germany and told himself that he was helping him by giving him a safer suit, but the guilt came crashing down on him when he saw the boy knocked out by the giant Ant Man, ad felt panic that he refused to admit felt vaguely parental when he did not get back up. Thankfully, Peter seemed to be okay, albeit slightly roughed up.

In the time that followed Tony’s life just seemed to keep going further and further downhill, starting with Rhodey falling from the sky and Tony being unable to help, to Tony facing what he considered the ultimate betrayal from the Captain he used to call a friend. Returning from the fight, Tony immediately rushed to be with Rhodey while the doctors ran tests. While they awaited results, Tony kept checking for messages from Happy, who he had left Peter with.

“I can tell your worried about more than just my legs Tones, your waiting for Happy to message you about the Spider Boy, right?”

“It’s Spiderman” Tony mutters

“That’s not the point and you know it. How do you know the guy? You haven’t told me anything about him but judging from what I’ve seen, he can’t be older than 25, which places his birth right around the time of your-”

“He’s fourteen, actually” That manages to put Rhodey into a stunned silence as Tony looks away guilty. After taking a few seconds to process Rhodey whispers

“Jesus Christ, Tony” after pausing for a few seconds “How could you recruit your teenage son to fight with the Avengers, and how could you have not told me?”

If Tony had been holding a drink he would have spit it out. Instead the man shook his head, and explained what had happened.

“Despite your denial, i can tell you care a lot about the kid. Go, check on him. I know you sent Happy to take him home, based on how eager the kid was to please you, I bet he’ll be glad to see you”

“Rhodey I can’t just leave you here alone”

“Why not? I’ll be here when you get back, it’s not like I’m gonna get up and walk away.” Tony laughs for the first time in what feels like weeks, bids his friend good bye and good luck and goes off to check on the spiderling.

Tony had originally planned to take a hands on approach in mentoring the kid, but upon seeing his eagerness to get involved with the big leagues he decides a more distant approach may be better. Tony already made the mistake of bringing him to an Avengers fight, he wasn’t going to get the kid killed by introducing him to a level of fighting he is to young for. Instead, he has the kid send Happy status reports, but in truth he has them all forwarded to himself. When he spends long days working with politicians to fix the accords, listening to Peter’s voicemail reminds him that there is good in the world. Living alone in the tower was rough, it seemed every corn he turned he could feel the ghosts of the happy memories he and the team had had their. Now, the rooms that once seemed vibrant and full of life faded to a dull gray.

Over the next few weeks several things happen very quickly. While Tony is away in India Tony has t send a suit to save Peter after he got involved in crime that was a little to advanced for him. Tony briefly thought that the stress he felt for Peter’s safety must be what it’s like to be a father, but he quickly pushed that notion out of his head.  Next comes the incident in DC, which Tony only saw a few hours later and he swore that kid was TRYING to give him a heart attack. A few days later, Tony calmed down and realized, despite how stressful it appeared, the kid did a good job. He had just got off the phone from telling him this when he saw Spiderman on the news, and he was most definitely NOT at band practice. 

The events that follow happen in a bit of a blur, one second he’s fixing the ferry, the next he’s on top of a building with Peter, taking the suit. He feels awful about it the next day, but he also thinks that he cannot go back

Of course, then comes moving day, and the plane crash, and Tony decide that maybe he ought to keep the tower after all.

(Pepper suggests he wants a location to stay close to New York  to keep a eye on Peter. Tony will never admit it, but she isn’t wrong)

After the shocking turn of events that was Peter turning down the offer to join the Avengers, Pepper and Tony were in their kitchen, celebrating their engagement when his phone rings. He does not recognize the phone number calling and he answers in the manner he does all of these calls

“I don’t know how you got this number but don’t even think about cal-”

“This is Spider Man’s aunt. You may remember recruiting my kid to fight behind my back?”

“Crap.”

No women could ever scare Tony as much as Pepper, but May Parker came pretty darn close. After she finished thoroughly chewing him out she agreed to allow him to continue under the basis of Tony training him and personally monitoring his patrols (which Tony normally did anyways, not that he’d admit it) and that he give her access to monitor the suit (he sent her a StarkPad that was completely synced with Karen the next day.) After Peter accidentally blew up his school lab making web fluid, she added the condition that he go to Tony’s lab once a week. What started as Peter using the facility to make web fluid, led to Tony teaching the kid all the inner workings of the Spider Man suit to Peter being his personal intern. 

(Pepper suggested that it was less like he was his personal intern and more like he was his son, but what does Pepper know?)

Occasionally they would work so late into the night that Peter would just stay the night. This led to Peter coming to the compound every Friday after school with a duffle bag and then returning to his apartment Sunday afternoon. This definitely was not because they were forming a father son bond (”I swear to God  if you call me Iron Dad one more time Rhodey....”) It was just convenient. May had the most shifts on weekends and Peter got bored being home alone. Any good mentor would invite him to stay. For an early birthday present, Tony decided to redo the guest room to personalize it for Peter. Pepper suggested he just hire someone to do it, but he brushed her aside. If someone leaked that he was having a room decorated for a teenage boy God only know what kind of rumors would spread. That is why he was sitting on his tablet at 11 PM stressing over what color paint would prefer.

“Just buy both and ask him which he likes better when he comes over”

“Pep I can’t just.... actually your right, I’m a billionaire, I’ll get both.”

That is how, a few days later the billionaire finds himself hand painting a room with a 15 year old boy. Peter returns from the bathroom just to feel paint drip on his face from above. He looks up to see Peter on the ceiling painting the part of the ceiling he couldn’t reach from the ground.

“Whoops, sorry Mr. Stark” the laughter in his voice told him he wasn’t really sorry. picking up a paintbrush he exclaimed

“I’ll get you for that little you little twerp” and with tat flung some of the paint at Peter.

When Pepper went 30 minutes later to see what kind of pizza to order for lunch, she finds them laughing hysterically and covered in paint.

A week later Tony hosted a surprise birthday for Peter at the tower.  He, shockingly enough, kept it small, only inviting Peter’s closest friends, May, Rhodey and Pepper. He and May had spent the past few hours painstakingly setting everything up to be perfect. Tony’s back hurt more than he cared to admit, and part of him was wary the girl, Michelle, who watched him with a far to knowing look. It was all made worth it when he say the look on Peter’s face when they surprised him. When Peter crushed him into a hug his initial reaction was to jerk away, but instead he returned the hug. He wasn’t certain, but he thinks he heard the boy mumble “thanks dad” into his shoulder. After a few seconds he released the boy and ruffled his hair.

“Anytime, son” he said to quietly for anyone to hear. Than, louder, he said “Enjoy the party, kiddo” and handed him off to his aunt.

Now, when Tony walks the halls of the tower, instead of seeing the ghosts of his ex teammates he see’s Peter’s homework strewn across the table, his backpack propped against the couch, his report card that he had jokingly taped on the fridge and often time the curly haired teenager himself, breathing life back into the place.

One day he realized that the world is no longer all gray.

AN: Thanks for reading, i haven’t actually read back over this, though I might sometime soon. Hope you enjoyed!

[neighbours-kid]

Count Your Blessings

I had this moment of....realisation of how lucky I am, a while ago, and after watching Shazam! last night and talking about Zac with my friend, it really hit me again. 

You know, I don‘t really remember much of, well, I guess you could call it my personality, from when I was a child? I know that I liked certain things and disliked others, I know who my friends were and stuff I did on a more or less regular basis. But I don‘t really know what kind of person I was when I was younger.

As a kid, I liked reading, I liked the Harry Potter books. I know I liked playing board and card games with my family, I know I liked playing video games with my brother. I know I liked Pokémon and that I watched both anime and cartoons on TV. I know I liked playing outside with my friends, climbing on trees, playing football, just doing stuff in nature.

I remember liking some TV shows when I got older, liking going to the movies with family and friends. I remember going over to a friend‘s house to play video games.

I remember these things about my life but I don‘t remember who I was within those things. That sort of changes around and after sixth grade. I know that by the time I went to another school after my compulsory education, I quickly became known as the nerd. The kid who knows way too much about movies and tv shows and actors, who can recall dubbing voices and what the guy in the movie you‘re watching is best known for.

I‘ve always liked knowing things and knowing a lot about the actors that starred in my favourite movies and the shows just became part of that. It became so much part of it that one of my friends just had to turn around to look at me while we watched Wilde in class for me to immediately go “Jude Law. Watson to RDJ’s Holmes. The other guy at the beginning was Orlando Bloom. Lord of the Rings. Pirates of the Caribbean.” and she just turned back as if that had been the most normal interaction in the entire world. People became surprised when I didn’t know things.

To this day, I have people who met me during the start of that time, people who I barely see and barely know, come up to me whenever I meet them, and ask me if there’s anything worth watching right now. To so many people, both close friends and people I see maybe once a year, if at all, I have become a walking movie and tv show encyclopedia.

And to be honest, for a while I got really fed up with that, because I knew that this part of my personality was not all there is. I wanted to tell people, I am more than just that! And yeah, I am more than just that. But fuck yeah, I talk about movies a shit ton and I fucking love it.

So when, the other day, I was talking about seeing Shazam! this Friday with someone using the words “gotta see my dude being a superstar”, and upon them asking who the actor is, went through the spiel of “you know the show Chuck? You know Thor’s friend Fandral in the second two Thor movies?” and, when they started googling him, also, for some reason, mentioned his birthday and zodiac sign, I got a face I hadn’t seen in a long while. That of surprise, maybe a bit of confused shock, and wonder. I hadn’t heard the question “how on earth do you know that?” in so long, because it just became normal for people to assume I knew that.

And when I recalled that I had met Zac at SDCC, told a bit about that experience and then jokingly mentioned that I could also tell them about his fashion choices — a necklace in particular —, I felt that surge of gratitude again that had hit me weeks before when I saw Zac wearing the necklace while on the cover of a magazine.

So when I watched Shazam! last night, saw the big pop-up display for the movie, the posters, and his big ol’ face all over the place, it just really hit me again.

You know, I’m not oblivious to the fact that he is a celebrity, even if I hate that word. I know that he has a massive fanbase and that I am only one of many who admire him. I am not trying to put him on a pedestal, and I sure as hell don’t have delusions that I know who he is in private, that I can say I know him as a person. All I know is who he is publicly, in interviews, interaction with fans and stuff like that.

But…having met him twice? Having seen him interact with people in front of me, how he talks to people, listens to people? Having been able to sit down with him for a moment, tell him the story behind the necklace and the reason why I wanted him to have it, and knowing that he got it? Having interacted with him, I know that who he seems to be to the public, is to a very large degree, not just a facade. I am sure that he has some things he hides away from the public, but that’s entirely fair. I don’t believe there is any person in the public eye — may that be actors, politicians, musicians, or even the fucking weather person — who does not, to a certain degree, play a part while out and about. They are just people like you and me, they have lives, bad days and good days. Hell, even I play a part sometimes.

But what I have always felt with him, through watching interviews and experiencing him in actual, real life, seeing him around fans, friends, and even family, I have only ever gotten a feeling of a deep genuineness, a sincere honesty.

I have no illusions about meaning anything to him beyond the “fan” bit, but it sure means a hell lot to me that he wears that necklace, understands its meaning. And it feels kinda nice too, when you’re told that something you’ve written has been read, or when you can see recognition on his face a year after you met the first time. And I am incredibly grateful for that, and so humbled that I got to experience that, and that I get to keep experiencing that. I am incredibly blessed.

This year is a culmination of a lot of things, in a lot of ways. Not just with Shazam! and its incredible success and the fact that people all over the world are going to see what a star Zac is, what we have known to be true all along, but also in regards to Avengers: Endgame coming out. I started down this rabbit hole of a journey seven years ago, when the first Avengers movie came out. In 2012 I really, truly became that movie obsessed weirdo that I am today, and it all started with that movie, really. It was through Avengers that I discovered my love for Loki, and thus my admiration for Tom Hiddleston, and it was through Hiddleston that I became aware of San Diego Comic-Con. And it was through both these things that I found NerdHQ and ultimately yer man Zac Levi.

God works in mysterious ways, guys. And it’s funny, because I often get this question from my mom or people at my church— if I’m so obsessed and pre-occupied with movies and tv shows and actors, do I still have time for God? And it’s funny, because they don’t understand, that this is how I find God, how I see him and his work, every day. Movies is how I have, ultimately, found renewed belief and faith. God has used both Hiddleston and Zac in ways that they can’t see, it seems. I am a kinder, more loving person, a more generous and caring human being than I was seven years ago, because I found those movies, those stories, and those people.

Huh. I am honestly just sitting here, still only barely grasping how incredibly lucky I’ve been, how blessed I am. I have made so many incredible memories, found so many great friends through this world of movies and this nerdy environment, I have seen many places and wonderful things because of it. And sitting in that cinema seat yesterday watching my dude on screen being a fucking superhero and being fantastic at it, just hit that home for me.

I am so lucky.

I am so blessed.

And it’s not just the past, either. I’ve somehow managed to find out that Zac would be at CCXP in Cologne, Germany, on the very last day of early bird sales for that event, and I had the money to book that trip. And now, without any of my doing, the opportunity to work has come up, and with that money I’ll be able to balance these expenses right out again. How fucking lucky is that?

You know, sometimes I go full Freddie Mercury and ask myself, is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy? But it is in those moments that I see the post-cards on my wall with faces on them that prove that this is real life. It is in those moments that I open instagram and see a post of Zac’s and the gold chain of that necklace pokes out of the collar of his shirt. I open twitter and I see my friends from all over the globe interacting with each other, loving each other. And I get to be part of that. How fucking cool is that?

I am so lucky. I haven’t always had it easy, I’ve gone through some shit, am still going through some shit. Life is hard, you know. But I have been so incredibly blessed and I can see so much more of that on the horizon.

I said this to my friend yesterday, but, dude, life is short.

Do the cool shit. Spend your money on concert tickets, trips to foreign countries, opportunities to see your favourite actors, musicians, authors in actual real life. Meet your heroes! They could be dead the very next day. Life is weird and complicated and short. So make the best out of it.

Fuck what other people think! Go make yourself happy.

And with that, I only have one last thing to say, to ask. Go see Shazam! Do yourself that favour. Go see it. It doesn’t matter if you’re not into superhero movies or if you don’t like DC, or whatever. Go see it. You’ll thank yourself later.

I love you, people. Be good, be kind.

.

.

.

(Thank you, Zac. Thank you for this.)

[hexfelicis03]

Am I ready or not?

I’ve been in several dates and one night stands in the past 3 years. I know, it’s nothing to be proud of but I did enjoy my single life and got used to being alone. I loved myself more and learned how to be independent.

Now, don’t say that I haven’t tried to work on a relationship with someone. I did but I’ve pushed people away many times because I am afraid of being hurt. So instead of them doing it first, I’ll be three steps ahead of them.

But suddenly, it makes me look back 2016. I really was working it out with Saul. He was a Spanish expat who was the former CFO of Lazada. We met in Tipple n Slaw and that was were our story started. The Despacito song and Versace on the Floor was one of the highlights of our “relationship” We will have either breakfast, lunch or dinner or even out of town trip together. It was there. I met his friends, he met mine. He met and Jarrod. But there are times he wanted to hangout and I would choose my friends. I drink a lot. I party a lot. Then when I moved to Heineken, that’s where it just went off. No good byes. It was left hanging. Now he has a girlfriend. Was I ever over it? I was supposed to meet him last August 2018 but I blew it off too. If I met him, would we be back together? Or was it the supposed to be “Closure”? I missed those time with him but I have to accept that it was never meant to be. 

Then was Araam... who I met after Saul. It was in Libertine for Nico’s night. He was on a holiday in the Philippines. I wasn’t even feeling that I wanna go out but there, I went. I wasn’t in the mood the flirt or whatever. I was introduced to Chi and he introduced me to Araam. Then suddenly, conversation just flowed. We laughed and talked about anything. He went out to smoke and I can feel that I’m about to pass out because I’ve been drinking day and night. I was working in Heineken back then. I just stormed off without saying good bye. A few days after or maybe it was a day or two after, I saw notifications in both Facebook and Instagram. I saw Araam’s message. He asked me not to freak out because he stalked me and sent two messages in both social media platforms. He said if I wanted to stay in touch, he gave his WhatsApp number. I checked messenger first though and gave him my number there instead. We talked more. It was Heineken Circus in 2020 in Makati. Nico and I went while Raam, Chi and Theresa went too. I invited them over for more beers. Anyway, I didn’t see Chi and I saw Raam and Theresa. I didn’t know who Theresa was and was actually devastated when I saw them together. Then Chi came and Nico asked them to kiss... the typical Nico kiss and shot. That’s when I knew that they were husband and wife. Lol. Then Nico faced us and asked me and Raam to kiss. We were both hesitant and Raam whispered “I would definitely want to kiss you right now but I don’t want to be too forward cause we barely know each other.” That’when I knew that he liked me. I smiled and when the night was getting late and Nico asked us to kiss - we did. It was all sparks and chill. He went to Cebu with Chi but when he was back, he went to our event again in Tunnl. With Araam, he will be sweet and fun but he will ask if it is time to socialize. It’s all easy with him. I can trust him and he can trust me. We jive. I don’t get paranoid when there is a girl with them in the conversation. He would look at me and pull me and kiss me in the forehead. Even if we didn’t go out in the same place, he will leave his door open and ask me to go home to him. We both stopped talking for almost a year. I knew that maybe he had someone and I also had guys with me... LOL. December 2018 he sent me a Facebook messenger. I totally forgot that I didn’t send him my new mobile number. He thought I deleted him but no. I did not. We went to Vietnam after Valentine’s day and I was with him for almost 5 or 6 days. That’s where we talked and he said that if we were in the same place we would definitely be dating. I jokingly said “Are you sure?” He said “Definitely. I wouldn’t allow other blokes to have you.” He visited Manila in June 2019. All I know, if ever I want a boyfriend, I’d want the qualities of Araam... or can it be just us? 

Before Araam and I talked back in December 2018, I met Jonathan. Well, I’ve been seeing him in John’s social media because of the French community but we never really talked. Until July 2018. He told me I was beautiful and that maybe I should know. Jonathan and I talked and talked online whether it’s in WhatsApp or in Instagram. He was sweet, compassionate and passionate. He is too emotional though and that it was one voice only... but hearing his voice made me feel calm sometimes. He can sing, act. He is an artist. We made it official August 16. He booked a ticket to Manila on September. I remember the first time I saw him. No butterflies or sparks and flowers. It made me think that the picture I painted in my head when we were apart wasn’t the same as reality. There were off days, there were okay days. I felt like the meanest person because I pushed him away. I hurt him real bad. For his last day, he wanted to talk more and to spend more time with me. But instead, I pushed him away and left... never looking back. We still kept talking and talking. There were times when I would call him in the middle of the night because I’m sad. His voice still calms me. He told me he might go back to Manila and we should meet. I thought it was another chance for us. Maybe I was ready. Maybe our timing was finally right. He came and we never met because of his schedules and mine. He was about to leave the next day and I met him. Apparently, he will just break my heart. Karma, right?

I think one of the factors why Jonathan and I never worked out was because of Hannes. The German Heineken guy. Ever since I gave my resignation in Heineken, he showed more interest in me. I do know he was interested while I was still part of the team but when I was about to resign, that’s when I confirmed it more. He has been the distraction of my life. Giving me mixed signals here and there. I know he have other side chicks but I chose to ignore it. Even when I was with Jonathan, I will still go to Hannes. He is like a drug that I cannot ignore. I wanted more. I knew he was having a thing with another Heineken girl but I can’t be the one to judge or to be angry because we were never exclusive. He was surprised when I showed no signs of anger and jealousy. He made the situation seem like it was nothing to me... like he was nothing to me. Hannes and I can chill at home. He cooks for me and takes good care of me. He is more of the guy who will likely make me stay in more than go out. But don’t be fooled, I know it’s just him hiding who he’s dating. Like I said, he gives mixed signals. One day he is sweet. One day he is not. One day he will be angry for being jealous. Then one day he will say he will date other girls. He is toxic but I seem to like the drama. I like the excitement and that he was jealous when I posted a photo of Fede, his fellow friend in Heineken. We tried to work it out with communication and trust. Trust. What a word. We met after his trip in Germany and my trip in Australia. We tried long distance when he went to Amsterdam. But I can’t. I was in Vietnam with Araam when I started to tell Hannes I can’t do it anymore. He became more lose and more chill. Letting me enjoy time with friends. Sending me sweet messages. He was asking my plans ahead and when can I go to Amsterdam. I felt the pressure because I don’t know if I can even process the visa to Europe. I don’t want to lead it on with false hope and I don’t see we can work it out given the long distance situation. I think it just dawned on me all the pain of betrayal and also the fact that I’ve been blinded with his affection. I ended it... it didn’t end well. He forever hated me.

I’m done dating here and there and going back to square one. Looking back at the guys I’ve met, it’s only a few I remained friends with. Others have left Manila too. I enjoyed my nights with friends. I go out now just to be with them. Go home alone and drunk.Work and play was my daily routine. Then I met Bonnar. Bon was his nickname. Scottish Chivas Brand Ambassador. I was working with Bryan and his meeting was in Nokal with Niccolo. Bryan left and I stayed. I was drinking until I saw Chino and his team together with Bon and Julian (Jameson Brand Ambassador). Chino introduced me like he always introduces me to everyone. I was the Jameson queen. Just in time, it was a Jameson event in Nokal. Chino said of course I would be there because - duh- it was Jameson. Like Araam’s story, I was just there having fun. I didn’t really talk to Bon. I was just having a great time. I left them too. I did my ninja move. I saw that we all followed each other in Instagram. He sent me a message in Instagram that it was nice to meet me and I disappeared all of a sudden (see? like Araam). Then the next day he asked if I was going out. I had to check if I wanted to cause I was tired. I decided to go out still cause my friends are going out. I invited him to join. We pretty hung out and slept together - like literally just sleep. A few days more of hanging out, he mentioned that he really likes me. I was easy to talk to and very chill. There was this one time in Versus where I kinda ignored him and he said that five dudes wanted to fuck me and that I was annoying. He kept dropping hints about exclusivity, mentioning girlfriend, etc. I don’t know if he’s fishing or if he just wants to tone down. What I am afraid of, he is young (25 and I’m 29) and new here in Manila. Also my job required me to relocate here in Iloilo. I am also scared to be the paranoid girlfriend. I don’t handle overthinking well. I have anxiety issues. I don’t want to get hurt. He have some qualities like Araam but the part of socializing with people - I can’t say I am calm like I am with Araam. He explains who he was talking to but I don’t know. I don’t want to lose what I built. I don’t want to be weak. But my friends told me that he also wants to know what I want. What do I want? Am I ready to take it the next step? How? What’s stopping me?

Lol... Stay With You of John Legend just played. 

[jastenes-league-unlimited]

How A Single Music Can Change The World

There's this someone who told me that "A poetry can't stop a battle nor can stop a war tank." But little do we know that the song Silent Night / Sille Nacht impromptly made a history of ceasefire for a day in World War I and made soldiers sang Christmas songs in the midst of cold night?

In WWI 1914, a German soldier named Walter Kirchhoff sang the said song in top of his lungs, following some of his buddies, his fellow soldiers, and also their enemies. And troops crawled forward into no man's land, shook hands with their fellow British enemies, ended up playing football and giving some souvenirs.

*the original photo of German and British met in no-man’s land*

The day after, soldiers wrote home to their families, wives, and parents...

What was happened?!

"It was a beautiful moonlit night, frost on the ground, white almost everywhere; and about seven or eight in the evening there was a lot of commotion in the German trenches and there were these lights – I don't know what they were. And then they sang  'Silent Night' – 'Stille Nacht'. I shall never forget it, it was one of the highlights of my life. I thought, what a beautiful tune."

- Private Albert Moren of the Second Queens Regiment.

"I shouted to our enemies that we didn't wish to shoot and that we make a Christmas truce. I said I would come from my side and we could speak with each other. First there was silence, then I shouted once more, invited them, and the British shouted: "No shooting!" Then a man came out of the trenches and I on my side did the same and so we came together and we shook hands - a bit cautiously!"

- Captain Josef Sewald of Germany's 17th Bavarian Regiment

"Suddenly a Tommy came with a football, kicking already and making fun, and then began a football match. We marked the goals with our caps. Teams were quickly established for a match on the frozen mud, and the Fritzes beat the Tommies 3-2."

- Lieutenant Johannes Niemann of Germany's 133rd Saxons Infantry Regiment

Then, it ended up in afternoon...

"I fired three shots into the air and put up a flag with 'Merry Christmas' on it on the parapet. He [a German] put up a sheet with 'Thank You' on it, and the German captain appeared on the parapet. We both bowed and saluted and got down into our respective trenches, and he fired two shots into the air, and the war was on again."

- Captain Charles "Buffalo Bill" Stockwell of the Second Royal Welch Fusiliers

The epic story became an advertisement. You may see it YouTube with the title  1914 | Sainsbury's Ad | Christmas 2014 or you may just click this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWF2JBb1bvM , and ready your tears because you it get eventually emotional to those soft hearted people like me. These are some of the original letters of Christmas truce from soldiers to their families... 

A full summary of Christmas Truce from “Tom” to his sister “Janet”;

Christmas Day, 1914

My dear sister Janet,

It is 2:00 in the morning and most of our men are asleep in their dugouts—yet I could not sleep myself before writing to you of the wonderful events of Christmas Eve. In truth, what happened seems almost like a fairy tale, and if I hadn’t been through it myself, I would scarce believe it. Just imagine: While you and the family sang carols before the fire there in London, I did the same with enemy soldiers here on the battlefields of France!

As I wrote before, there has been little serious fighting of late. The first battles of the war left so many dead that both sides have held back until replacements could come from home. So we have mostly stayed in our trenches and waited.

But what a terrible waiting it has been! Knowing that any moment an artillery shell might land and explode beside us in the trench, killing or maiming several men. And in daylight not daring to lift our heads above ground, for fear of a sniper’s bullet.

And the rain—it has fallen almost daily. Of course, it collects right in our trenches, where we must bail it out with pots and pans. And with the rain has come mud—a good foot or more deep. It splatters and cakes everything, and constantly sucks at our boots. One new recruit got his feet stuck in it, and then his hands too when he tried to get out—just like in that American story of the tar baby!

Through all this, we couldn’t help feeling curious about the German soldiers across the way. After all, they faced the same dangers we did, and slogged about in the same muck. What’s more, their first trench was only 50 yards from ours. Between us lay No Man’s Land, bordered on both sides by barbed wire—yet they were close enough we sometimes heard their voices.

Of course, we hated them when they killed our friends. But other times, we joked about them and almost felt we had something in common. And now it seems they felt the same.

Just yesterday morning—Christmas Eve Day—we had our first good freeze. Cold as we were, we welcomed it, because at least the mud froze solid. Everything was tinged white with frost, while a bright sun shone over all. Perfect Christmas weather.

During the day, there was little shelling or rifle fire from either side. And as darkness fell on our Christmas Eve, the shooting stopped entirely. Our first complete silence in months! We hoped it might promise a peaceful holiday, but we didn’t count on it. We’d been told the Germans might attack and try to catch us off guard.

I went to the dugout to rest, and lying on my cot, I must have drifted asleep. All at once my friend John was shaking me awake, saying, “Come and see! See what the Germans are doing!” I grabbed my rifle, stumbled out into the trench, and stuck my head cautiously above the sandbags.

I never hope to see a stranger and more lovely sight. Clusters of tiny lights were shining all along the German line, left and right as far as the eye could see.

“What is it?” I asked in bewilderment, and John answered, “Christmas trees!”

And so it was. The Germans had placed Christmas trees in front of their trenches, lit by candle or lantern like beacons of good will.

And then we heard their voices raised in song.

Stille nacht, heilige nacht . . . .

This carol may not yet be familiar to us in Britain, but John knew it and translated: “Silent night, holy night.” I’ve never heard one lovelier—or more meaningful, in that quiet, clear night, its dark softened by a first-quarter moon.

When the song finished, the men in our trenches applauded. Yes, British soldiers applauding Germans! Then one of our own men started singing, and we all joined in.

The first Nowell, the angel did say . . . .

In truth, we sounded not nearly as good as the Germans, with their fine harmonies. But they responded with enthusiastic applause of their own and then began another.

O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum . . . .

Then we replied.

O come all ye faithful . . . .

But this time they joined in, singing the same words in Latin.

Adeste fideles . . . .

British and German harmonizing across No Man’s Land! I would have thought nothing could be more amazing—but what came next was more so.

“English, come over!” we heard one of them shout. “You no shoot, we no shoot.”

There in the trenches, we looked at each other in bewilderment. Then one of us shouted jokingly, “You come over here.”

To our astonishment, we saw two figures rise from the trench, climb over their barbed wire, and advance unprotected across No Man’s Land. One of them called, “Send officer to talk.”

I saw one of our men lift his rifle to the ready, and no doubt others did the same—but our captain called out, “Hold your fire.” Then he climbed out and went to meet the Germans halfway. We heard them talking, and a few minutes later, the captain came back with a German cigar in his mouth!

“We’ve agreed there will be no shooting before midnight tomorrow,” he announced. “But sentries are to remain on duty, and the rest of you, stay alert.”

Across the way, we could make out groups of two or three men starting out of trenches and coming toward us. Then some of us were climbing out too, and in minutes more, there we were in No Man’s Land, over a hundred soldiers and officers of each side, shaking hands with men we’d been trying to kill just hours earlier!

Before long a bonfire was built, and around it we mingled—British khaki and German grey. I must say, the Germans were the better dressed, with fresh uniforms for the holiday.

Only a couple of our men knew German, but more of the Germans knew English. I asked one of them why that was.

“Because many have worked in England!” he said. “Before all this, I was a waiter at the Hotel Cecil. Perhaps I waited on your table!”

“Perhaps you did!” I said, laughing.

He told me he had a girlfriend in London and that the war had interrupted their plans for marriage. I told him, “Don’t worry. We’ll have you beat by Easter, then you can come back and marry the girl.”

He laughed at that. Then he asked if I’d send her a postcard he’d give me later, and I promised I would.

Another German had been a porter at Victoria Station. He showed me a picture of his family back in Munich. His eldest sister was so lovely, I said I should like to meet her someday. He beamed and said he would like that very much and gave me his family’s address.

Even those who could not converse could still exchange gifts—our cigarettes for their cigars, our tea for their coffee, our corned beef for their sausage. Badges and buttons from uniforms changed owners, and one of our lads walked off with the infamous spiked helmet! I myself traded a jackknife for a leather equipment belt—a fine souvenir to show when I get home.

Newspapers too changed hands, and the Germans howled with laughter at ours. They assured us that France was finished and Russia nearly beaten too. We told them that was nonsense, and one of them said, “Well, you believe your newspapers and we’ll believe ours.”

Clearly they are lied to—yet after meeting these men, I wonder how truthful our own newspapers have been. These are not the “savage barbarians” we’ve read so much about. They are men with homes and families, hopes and fears, principles and, yes, love of country. In other words, men like ourselves. Why are we led to believe otherwise?

As it grew late, a few more songs were traded around the fire, and then all joined in for—I am not lying to you—“Auld Lang Syne.” Then we parted with promises to meet again tomorrow, and even some talk of a football match.

I was just starting back to the trenches when an older German clutched my arm. “My God,” he said, “why cannot we have peace and all go home?”

I told him gently, “That you must ask your emperor.”

He looked at me then, searchingly. “Perhaps, my friend. But also we must ask our hearts.”

And so, dear sister, tell me, has there ever been such a Christmas Eve in all history? And what does it all mean, this impossible befriending of enemies?

For the fighting here, of course, it means regrettably little. Decent fellows those soldiers may be, but they follow orders and we do the same. Besides, we are here to stop their army and send it home, and never could we shirk that duty.

Still, one cannot help imagine what would happen if the spirit shown here were caught by the nations of the world. Of course, disputes must always arise. But what if our leaders were to offer well wishes in place of warnings? Songs in place of slurs? Presents in place of reprisals? Would not all war end at once?

All nations say they want peace. Yet on this Christmas morning, I wonder if we want it quite enough.

Your loving brother,

Tom

[obsessive-fics]

you’re gonna be my wound-chapter four

Title: It Takes Two

Word Count: 1.9k

Rating: T

A/N: I’ve decided to post twice a week, so updates will now be Mondays and Fridays. Thank you to @yourfriendlyblogstalker for beta reading

[Read on Ao3]

[Masterlist]

[Previous Chapter]

“You have to come with me.”

“Why would I come with you? I’m not in any of the scenes you’re gonna be running,” PJ pointed out, as Phil paced the length of their living room nervously. He was basically wearing holes in the carpet at this point, and he was fairly sure he’d looked at the same Coke stain on the carpet about eighty times in the last five minutes.

“Because! I don’t wanna be like… outnumbered,” he tried to explain, stopping in front of the tattered university issued couch where PJ was watching tv.

“Outnumbered?” PJ asked slowly.

“Yeah, like, you saw him and Louise at rehearsal, always huddled in the corner together, talking about everyone,” Phil said, resuming his pacing. The longer he stood still, the less he felt like he could do this.

“And we were what, discussing show notes the entire time?” PJ replied, giving him a look.

“You know what I mean,” Phil said, stopping in front of him and waving his arms emphatically. When PJ just kept looking at him knowingly, he shook his head and started to pace again. “You know what, forget it. I’m not gonna go.”

“Alright, come on,” PJ said, standing up.

“You’re coming with me?” Phil asked, a wave of relief washing over him already.

“No. I’m gonna walk you there, and then I’m gonna sit outside in the lobby reading until you’re finished,” PJ told him, turning off the tv. It wasn’t ideal, but it did help.

“Okay, fine. Let’s go,” Phil acquiesced, and the two headed for the auditorium.

Dan and Louise were already on stage when they got there, which was unsurprising. He was playing the piano and they were singing “Word of Your Body.” It sounded so good they didn’t want to interrupt, so Phil and PJ just sat in the back of the auditorium and waited for them to finish. When they did, PJ jumped up clapping, startling everyone in the room.

“How long have you been here?” Dan asked, standing up.

“Not long. Just didn’t want to… interrupt,” Phil replied, walking over to the stage.

“Let’s just get started. Which scene did you want to run first?” Dan asked, walking to center stage. Phil climbed up on the stage, and stood next to him, trying to look like he was thinking (he had no clue which scene he wanted to run first. How did people even decide that?).

“I’ll just follow your lead,” he said finally, and he could see Dan and Louise sharing a look. He wished PJ was here, so he could point and go, look! See, this is exactly what I meant! But as it was, PJ had already ducked out. Coward.

“Why don’t you run the ‘Touch Me’ scene?” Louise suggested. “You seemed to be having a lot of trouble with it during auditions.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” Phil agreed nodding.

“Try not to laugh this time,” Dan added, which was just completely unnecessary. Phil glared at him and opened up his script.

“Ready whenever you get your head out of your-”

“Hey!” Louise interrupted before it could escalate into a full blown argument. They both turned their attention to her, and she smiled at them sweetly.

“We are going to be professional, and we are going to respect each other, or I will be very upset. Understand?”

“We’d better listen to her. You do not want to see Louise upset,” Dan whispered to him, and Phil nodded quickly.

“Okay, Louise, cue us in,” Dan called to her, and she opened up her script. “Moritz Stiefel to see you.”

“Moritz?” Dan read, and Phil was momentarily distracted by how easily he managed to sound equal parts worried and confused.

“Sorry I’m so late. I yanked on a jacket, ran a brush through my hair, and… what?” Phil asked, stopping reciting his line. Dan and Louise were looking at him like he’d just taken a sledgehammer to the stage.

“Not to… Step on your interpretation,” Louise started to say.

“But that was crap,” Dan interrupted before she could finish.

“What are you talking about? I barely got through the line,” Phil answered defensively. If they were just going to spend the entire time ganging up on him, maybe the extra rehearsals weren’t worth it.

“Dan,” Louise said warningly.

“Sorry, sorry. You’re just… you’re jumpy, yeah? You’ve been up all night, and you just ran all the way here. You’re tortured by the things you’ve discovered, and the audience needs to feel that,” Dan explained. There was something different about him whenever he talked about the show- less arrogant, more passionate. This was clearly something he felt strongly about, and Phil supposed he could at least try a little harder.

“So that wasn’t it?”

“Not even a little bit. But I did feel it at auditions- what were you thinking then?” Dan asked, and Phil shrugged.

“Just that I’d never been so nervous in my entire life.”

“That’s it! When we’re doing this scene, just pretend you’re coming from an audition, and it was absolutely terrifying… but also that the person running auditions was like, really hot,” Dan suggested excitedly.

“I don’t think Ms.Jay would appreciate that,” Phil replied slowly.Ms.Jay was beautiful, with her lion’s mane of hair and golden brown skin, but she was also their director, which made her kind of motherly.

“Not Ms.Jay. Who’s someone you think is hot, but also kind of intimidating?” Dan asked shortly.

“... Thor?”

“You would. Okay, let’s try it again.”

They ran the scene again, and this time when they were done, Louise applauded.

“That was great! That’s the exact sort of nervous energy we were talking about. Pacing back and forth like that was an excellent choice,” she complimented, and Phil looked down sheepishly. He’d just done what Dan said, tried to capture the exact feeling he’d had during auditions, and translated that to Moritz. Apparently it had worked, and he couldn’t help but feel a little proud of himself.

“Do we want to run the rest of it then, plus the song?” Louise asked.

“Sure, why not,” Dan and Phil answered simultaneously, and then froze. That was weird. Really weird. Dan recovered first and walked over to the piano. Phil shook his head and sat down at the piano next to him.

“Can you play every song in the show?” Phil wondered.

“For the most part. It helps rehearsing when I’m the one playing,” Dan explained with a shrug.

“What else can you play?”

Dan grinned at him wickedly, and played a singular note.

“Noo, not the g note,” Phil cried exaggeratedly, and they both laughed.

“Something told me you’d appreciate that,” Dan replied, laughing- it was a different laugh from when he’d made fun of Phil for falling down, more soft and joyous, and Phil found he didn’t mind it at all.

“It’s the hair isn’t it?” Phil asked, laughing too.

“Yeah. Perfect for Moritz, though. I imagine he would’ve listened to a lot of Muse if they were around in Germany in the 1890s,” Dan said, playing a few notes on the piano absently.

“Then I really am the perfect person for the part,” Phil replied jokingly, and for a second there, they smiled at each other- genuinely, which was new. And then Louise cleared her throat, and whatever had been happening dissipated into thin air.

“I hate to break this up, but we’re meant to be rehearsing, remember? Stop flirting, and let’s get back to work.”

“We weren’t!” they answered in unison, and they really had to stop doing that.

“Uh huh. Go on- Phil, cue the song in,” Louise instructed, officially putting them back into show mode.

“Really? What it feels like… for the woman?” Phil recited, as Dan started to play.

Where I go, When I go there

No more memory anymore

Dan turned to Phil as he sang, smiling a little. Not maliciously, or like he was making fun of him. It was small, like they were sharing it, and it was kind of a nice smile, with dimples. Phil was so distracted he almost missed his cue, but Dan nodded at him slightly, and he remembered what he was supposed to be doing.

Where I go, when I go there

No more listening anymore

They held eye contact the majority of time they were singing, trapped together in this moment, and something about it all was making Phil feel a little lightheaded. The moment didn’t end until Louise started singing the other character’s solos for them so they didn’t lose track of where they were, and then before he knew it, they were at the end of the song.

Where the winds sigh…

Where the winds sigh…

“How was that?” Phil asked, turning to Louise instead of confronting… whatever had just happened between the two of them. Acting, he thought to himself quickly- they were just acting. It was an intimate song, one of the most intimate in the whole show, of course he was feeling… what was he feeling exactly?

“So good! I could literally see sparks between the two of you,” Louise replied, clapping excitedly.

“I don’t think you’re meant to see sparks between Melchior and Moritz,” Phil replied, confused.

“Says you,” Louise said with a shrug, and Dan sent him a look Phil could somehow understand meant ‘drop it,’ so he just shrugged and stood up.

“I should go. PJ’s probably died of boredom waiting for me out there.”

“Next week we’ll run ‘Those You’ve Known,” Louise told him, nodding.

“Sounds good. Um... thank you. Both of you, for helping me with this scene. I am so out of my element here,” Phil said, and it surprised him how much he really meant it.

“Don’t mention it,” Dan replied uncomfortably at the same time Louise went, “Any time!” brightly.

“Right. Well… Bye, then,” Phil said, climbing down off the stage.

“Wait!” Dan called before Phil was even completely down the aisle, and he stopped and turned around, looking at him expectantly.

“Remember to make choices for your character. You have to know them better than anyone, have to know how they’d react to things. It gets a lot easier once you do that,” Dan explained, looking down at the piano. It was decent advice, so Phil just nodded slowly.

“Got it. See you tomorrow then,” he said, and waved one more time before leaving.

“I’d call that a successful rehearsal,” Louise said after Phil had gone, reaching down to pick up her bag. “Once the two of you started playing nice.”

“Hey, I was playing nice the whole time,” Dan argued, absentmindedly hitting a few notes on the piano.

“Sure you were, darling. Ms.Jay’s going to love what you did with that song,” Louise said, climbing up on stage to sit next to him.

“What are you talking about? We literally just did the song as it’s written,” Dan replied defensively.

“Really? So all that tension was written in the script?” Louise asked teasingly.

“What? No, there was no tension. And if you saw any, that was all between Moritz and Melchior, two completely fictional characters,” Dan answered, and he really wished his face wasn’t burning right now. Sure, there had been something different about Phil while they were singing. Something less goofy and insufferable, and more.. Soulful, a billion emotions behind stormy blue eyes. But that was acting, and for all his trouble with it, Phil was a pretty decent actor. That’s all that was… Right?

“If you insist on being in denial, I won’t stop you. One thing’s for sure, though. This show is gonna be so fun- for me at least,” Louise said, grinning.

“Do you want to run your solo or not?” Dan asked in lieu of dignifying that with a response, and Louise winked at him before singing the first few bars of “Mama Who Bore Me.”

[hetalia-tlw]

Hetalia: The Lost World Part 1

"Everyone listen up! I called you all here to help me solve the world's problems. Yes, I know we've been at each other's throats for years. But since we can all get along we can combine everything we learned. Alright, here we go! About global warming and climate change, I say we create a hero called 'Global Man' who can stop climate change and stop enslavement around the world. So what do you guys say?" asked a loud man with glasses happily. "I agree with America-san" said a black haired man. "Oh stop it Japan! You just can't agree to everything!" yelled a long blond haired man, who's sitting next to the black haired man called 'Japan'. "Excuse me? There's no way in a million years that a hero will stop Climate Change. So I disagree with America's idea, along with it's 'learnt' not 'learned'. Speak in the proper English!" said a man with a thick British accent. "I disagree to both America and England" said a man with long blond hair. "Shut up you bloody frog!" yelled England. "You Frenchmen are so different from today. Why not go back to making sexy female statues like you used to?" asked America. Soon America, France, and England started arguing and fighting. "You guys are acting so immature! I just don't understand you western countries. Here, why not have some food to stop fighting, aru" said a man with long black hair that's in a pony tail. "We don't want any!!!" yelled both England and France who were still fighting. "I'll have one, please" said a man who looks like America while holding a polar bear. "Russia, why not you scare these fighting idiots?" asked Spain. "What me? Sorry, I just can't. I'm too busy trying to improve my relations with the Baltic Trio. Hey, Lithuania! Do me a favor and cry on your hands and knees for me" said Russia while pointing at Lithuania who made a panicked expression. Just like that Lithuania begins crying while Belarus and Ukraine are calming him down. "Now now Russia. It's not nice to pick on the weak" said Estonia. "Oh look who wants to talk" said Russia jokingly. The world meeting was in chaos with everyone fighting and arguing, while Greece is sleeping away all his troubles in the world. "EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!!" "G-Germany?" asked both England and France who stopped fighting. "DOES ANYONE REALIZE HOW LONG VE BEEN HERE!? VELL GUESS VHAT? I DO UND VE ARE IN A SERIOUS MATTER! NOBODY TALKS, BUT SHOULD REMAIN QUIET UNLESS SOMEONE IZ TALKING!!!" yelled Germany. "Now zhen I shall call on one of jou to talk. But don't try to mimic somezhing from mein country's past. Got it?" asked Germany while calming down. Everything was silent until a hand rose up. "Italy, jou may speak" said Germany while pointing at a man with a strange curl. "Veeeee~! Okay, hmm... PASTAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" yelled Italy in excitement. ~At Germany's House~ "Veeeee~! Gerrrrrrrmmmmaaaannny!" yelled Italy. "Uh Germany-san, I think Itary is rooking for you" said Japan. "Like I haven't noticed" said Germany. "Veeeee~! Gerrrrrrrmmmmaaaannny!" continued Italy. It wasn't long until Italy reached his two friends, which in this case he was running towards them. "Vhat do jou vant Italy? Can't jou see zhat I'm busy dealing vith somezhing. Zhis better be gut" said Germany. "Germany, I-a find something and it's-a really important" said Italy. "Alright fine. Japan und I vill come vith jou" said Germany. "Yaaaaayyy!!!" said Italy in excitement. ~Time Skip~ "Germany! Japan! This-a is-a place where-a I-a find it" said Italy. "How far did you go Itary-kun?" asked Japan. "I went this way" pointed Italy. The trio eventually made it deep within the forest, until they stopped in front of a big rock. "Zhat's strange. I don't recall ever being zhis deep into zhis forest. Are jou sure jou've seen it, Italy?" asked Germany. "Si! This-a is-a were I-a found it" said Italy. "Uh Germany, something is very off about this forest" said Japan. "Vhat do jou mean Japan?" asked Germany. "I just don't know. I've got a feering that there's a reason why nobody goes this deep into the forest" said Japan. "I-a found it! Let's-a get out of here, it's-a kind of scary here" said Italy. With that the trio headed back to Germany's house, where Italy shows both his friends of what he found. "Italy, how long are jou just going to keep digging in zhat bag?" asked Germany. "Not long" said Italy and with that Italy pulled it out. "Finally" said Germany. Italy soon put whatever he found on the table, as both Germany and Japan look at it in question. "Vhat iz zhat?" asked Germany. "It appears to be a grassed rose" said Japan. "Ve~! I-a knew it was-a glassed rose" said Italy. While the trio were trying to solve the mystery of the glassed rose, the awesome man alive burst through the front door of Germany's house. "Zhe awesome me has returned!" yelled the albino man. "Oh nein, not him" mumbled Germany. "Does someone need some awesomeness? Too bad jou can't get any of mine. Cuz I'm zhe awesome Prussia!" yelled Prussia. Prussia than came into the living only to see the glassed rose on the table next to Italy. "Oh vhat's zhis zhing? Bruder iz zhis for me? Oh jou shouldn't have, zhis iz zhe must awesome zhing I ever seen! Da-" said Prussia but he was cut off by Germany only to say "Bruder, zhis iz not for jou! Italy found it und I'm pretty sure he's not going to give it to jou" Prussia who was shocked quickly said "Vhat? Zhat's very disappointing to hear. In fact did jou just say zhat Italy's unawesomeness found it?" "Si! I-a did! I-a found it deep in the forest" said Italy. "Oh zhat's awesome. Vhat does it do?" asked Prussia. "We don't know" said Japan. "Don't know? Vell zhen, zhe awesome me vill be going out. See all jou unawesome people tomorrow!" said Prussia and with that, he already ran out the door. "I'm getting somezhing to drink" said Germany, while Japan also got up saying "I'm just going to make my famous sushi" Italy was left by himself with the glassed rose, he was about to make pasta, until the rose started to glow. "Germany! Japan! Come quick!" yelled Italy and with that both Germany and Japan came only to see the rose glowing. "ITALY, VHAT DID JOU DO!?" yelled Germany. "N-Nothing! I-I-a was just going to-a make pasta, until-a the rose started-a glowing!" yelled Italy. Suddenly the rose started to open while a bright light started to grow bigger and bigger. Italy, Germany, and Japan covered their eyes until the light started to dim. They then uncover their eyes only to see the sprout of light coming from the open tip of the rose. Before they could move, the light started to shape into a man leaving the trio in shock and surprise. "Greetings" said the man. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Im Yong Soo" "Wait, I heard that name before. It's so famirilar, but where did I heard it from?" asked Japan, who was (finally) surprised. "Hmm... I thought I was forever to be forgotten, but I guess not" said Yong Soo, while raising a brow. "Courd it be? Are you the forgotten country?" asked Japan. "Close, I was the second forgotten country. I was once the great South Korea and I'm surprised that you still remember me, brother" said Yong Soo. "Bruder? Japan vhat iz he talking about?" asked Germany. "I suppose Japan never told you. Well then that's a shame. I was both Japan and China's brother a long time ago, until the day when the Soviet Union came and took everything away from me. They even took a piece of me and called it North Korea. After time went by, I was dissolved along with the other half. But there are rumors that he's still alive or he was revived" said the former South Korea. "Vait before jou go vhat's zhe other half's name?" asked Germany. "You mean my older brother? His name is North Korea and he's really a messed up dude. However both Russia and America only know a few things about him, I'm sure both of them will tell you" said South Korea and with that he vanished back into the rose. "North Korea? Somehow that name sounds so famirilar" said Japan. "Ve~! Germany what-a we going to do-a now?" asked Italy. "Ve are going to have a talk vith both America und Russia, zhat's vhat" said Germany. ~Meanwhile Back At The Forest~ "Gahh! Where is that [beep]ing thing?" asked a deep American voice. "Now now, what did I say about using such foul language?" said a calming British voice. "Oh, I [beep]ing hate you!" yelled the American voice. "Ah swear jar, pay up now poppet" said the British voice as the American sounding one growled. "Sir we couldn't find the glassed rose. It's gone" said a deep Canadian voice. "Oh really? That's-a shame. I-a was hoping that it-a was suppose to-a stay here" said a deep Italian voice. "Sir vat do ve do now?" asked a deep French voice. "I say we crush and kill the people who took it, da" said a deep Russian voice. "Actually we-a need to call-a the others for-a meeting. To our-a private first-class jet, boys" said the Italian voice in a dark happy tone. ~Meanwhile Somewhere In England~ "Now just one tiny drop to this potion and ahh complete" said England while finishing a magic potion for... who knows what. "Now since I'm finally done with that magic potion, I can now turn that bloody frog into an actual bloody green frog" said England while carefully putting the potion in his potion cabinet. While England was about to look at his spell book for the cure, he got a surprise blinking glow from his magical vision orb. "That's weird I don't usually get an alert message unless if that bloody frog is in my house" said England in confusion. England then ran over to his vision orb and in under five to seven minutes, he saw something unbelievable and scary. "No it can't be! It just can't be happening! Not again! I thought his rain of terror has ended! Why hasn't it ended!?" yelled England in confusion. ~Meanwhile Somewhere Else~ "God naneun dasi han beon dangsin-eul mannal geos-ida naneun mog eulo dangsin-eul delyeo gal dangsin eul lo gadeug habnida yeong-gug (Soon I will meet you once again and I will take you by the neck and chock you, England)" said the mysterious male. "Mr. North Korea? Are you in there? What are your today plans?" asked a maid. "Oneul naui gyehoeg-eun migug e gal geos-ibnida. Naneun olaen chingu leul bogo sip-eoyo. Naleul wihae nae gaein choego sujun-ui jeteu leul junbi (My plans for today is go to America. I want to see an old friend. Have my private first class jet ready for me)" said the so called 'North Korea'. "Excuse me Chin-Sun. He said that his plans are to go to America. He wants to see an old friend and yes he wants to be on his private jet" said a translator. "Why thank you, Hyeon. Without you we won't be able to understand what Mr. North Korea is saying" said Chin-Sun. "You're welcome. I just don't get why he doesn't bother to speak English like most other countries do. But I guess he still wants to have his culture, but it shouldn't hurt him to speak in English every once in awhile" said Hyeon. Soon North Korea's jet was ready for him and while North Korea was on board, he said one last thing "Segyega yeogie bughan-i oneun bakk-eul bwa (Look out world here comes North Korea)" with a devilish smirk on his face.

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

The Three of Us-Julian Draxler and Erik Durm Love Triangle

Requested: Yes

Warnings: None

A/N: This takes place in 2014 and I am so sorry about the delay @girlinmanyfandoms123. I’ve been slammed with work because of study abroad but I’ll hopefully be more active :)

There were many perks of having one’s father be the coach of a national football team: I met a lot of cool people, I went to so many sports award shows as well as movie award shows, and I got to go to any game I wanted for free, at least, when it took place in Germany. However, I have gone to every World Cup since my father became the German National Team’s for free and it’s been pretty fun, but the next one was going to be great since it was taking place in Rio. The parties were going to be nuts and the music was going to be amazing. Also, I was bringing Y/B/F/N along so I could have someone else to talk to during matches. 

  “Wow,” Y/B/F/N said as we watched the German national team warm up.

   They had about thirty minutes before their first match in the World Cup and Dad was grilling them on how to be stronger, faster, and overall better than the rest of the world. The stadium was packed with fans, all chanting and screaming for their own team in their different languages. Y/B/F/N and I were sitting in the VIP area with the other celebrities and WAGs. 

     “What?” I teased.

     “So many beautiful men in one sport. How have I not noticed this before?” 

     “Because you were too busy studying for the MCAT.”

      Y/B/F/N huffed. “And it paid off, didn’t it?”

      “Which is precisely why I brought you here.”       I glanced back down at the pitch, admiring the lean, stealthy players running through their warm ups. I couldn’t help but make eye contact with Germany’s favorite blonde, Erik Durm. He winked at me before going through a complicated warm up drill. I smirked at the warm feeling that spread throughout my stomach at his gaze.

       “Oh my gosh,” Y/B/F/N said.

        “What?” I asked with a blink. 

        “You’re messing around with Erik aren’t you?” she whispered so no one else would hear us.

        “What? No, of course not! You know my father has that rule of no messing around with players.”

        “So why did Erik wink at you?”

         “I don’t know, because he’s a flirt.”

         Y/B/F/N didn’t look convinced and I couldn’t blame her. I was always a terrible liar but the truth was I hadn’t done anything with Erik besides flirt with him ever since we first met. Who could resist those light green eyes and cheeky smile? Plus, he was charming, passionate about football, and incredibly nice. However, Dad would kill us both if he found out about anything so it was better to keep it under wraps. 

        “Y/N, spill,” Y/B/F/N demanded.

        “There’s nothing to spill about, he just flirts with me sometimes and that’s it.” I turned to face the pitch again and began nervously munching on my popcorn.

        Of course, Julian went right after Erik for their footwork warm up and he managed to find me in the crowd and wave. My cheeks warmed up as I waved back as discreetly as possible. As much as I hope our exchange went unnoticed, Julian’s megawatt smile tipped off Y/B/F/N quickly.

       “Julian, too?” she whisper hissed.

       “What do you mean, ‘Julian, too’?”

       Y/B/F/N crossed her arms over her Hummels jersey. “This explains so much now. Why would you want to go out with any of those idiot boys from uni when you have two hot football players eating out of the palm of your hand?”

       “I wouldn’t say that....”

       Y/B/F/N’s e/c eyes widened. “Then what would you say?”        “I would say that I like them both and think they’re both great players.”

       “And you wouldn’t mind jumping their bones, either?”

       “Y/B/F/N!”

       “How long has this been going on?” Y/B/F/N asked.

       I sighed, deciding that if I had to confide in someone about my complicated love life, I would prefer it to be Y/B/F/N and not some journalist. “About two years now.”

      “Two years?”

      I nodded. “The team went out for drinks one night and my dad let me go along with them as long as Mats was watching me. Anyway, Erik ended up buying me a beer and we hit it off. We talked for hours and I have never had a conversation so easily with someone. Then, when he left for the toilet, Julian came over and asked me how I liked the practicing. Me being the football fan that I am, I explained in detail just what was wrong with everyone’s technique and then I complimented him on his form. He blushed and we ended up talking some more.” I ran my hand through my y/h/l y/h/c hair. “When Erik came back, things got awkward but the three of us held a good for the rest of the night before Mats took me home. Ever since that night, they’ve been kind of fighting over me.”

     When I looked at Y/B/F/N, her eyes were as wide as saucers. She didn’t look as though she was judging me, rather she was just in shock. My heart beat picked up out of nerves and I was anxious to hear what she had to say. She was always extremely blunt and spoke what was on her mind and her opinion mattered a lot to me.

    “So, you’re telling me that you’re in a love triangle with two German footballers and you have to keep it a secret from everyone, including your father?” she said slowly.

    I nodded. “Awful, huh?”

   “It’s equal parts awful and amazing. Awful because you will eventually have to choose between them and amazing because you couldn’t have been any more fortunate than to have two football players pining for your affections.”

   I couldn’t help myself but laugh at her words. Then, reality set in: I would have to choose between the mischievous Erik or the sweet, sensitive Julian. Both of them appealed to me in different ways since Erik pushed me out of my comfort zone and would surprise me with little gifts unbeknownst to my father. On the other hand, Julian was always complimenting me on thing outside of my physical appearance and he didn’t mind that I knew so much about football “for a girl”. 

   “Ugh, what am I gonna do, Y/B/F/N?”

   “Ever heard of polyamory?”

   I elbowed her jokingly and we both laughed. However, I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy the match as much as I usually would. I didn’t want to hurt either of their feelings or have either of them (or myself) get in trouble with Dad. Julian and Erik both knew about the others feelings towards me and the last thing I wanted was for them to blow up at each other and risk losing the World Cup.

    For the next month, I dragged Y/B/F/N to all the parties I knew both Julian and Erik would be attending not only to introduce her to some of my favorite German and non-German WAGs but also to relieve some of the attention between the three of us. I stopped attending practices as much as I used to, but I couldn’t avoid either of them all together: Erik would show up at my hotel room and take me on some excursion in Sao Paolo while Julian always made sure to text me something sweet. I liked them both equally but I just didn’t know what to do. However, everything came to a head the night before the last match.

   Y/B/F/N and I were stumbling out of the elevator to our hotel room floor, drunk out of our minds, when we ran into Erik. He was wearing a hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants but he still looked so good. I supposed all of those whiskey shots at the bar gave me the courage to say so.

    “Look, Y/N, there’s Erik, one of your boyfriends,” Y/B/F/N teased before we both burst into giggles. “He looks good in a pair of sweats. What I wouldn’t give to---”

   I slapped my hand over her mouth and shushed her loudly. “He’ll hear us, you idiot!”

   But I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. I only stopped when Erik turned around, raising an eyebrow at us.

   “Y/N?” he asked.

   I swallowed, pulled my hand away from Y/B/F/N, and strolled forward. “Hi, Erik. What are you doing up so late? You know that Coach wouldn’t approve.”

   “Couldn’t sleep.” He glanced between me and Y/B/F/N. “I see the two of you went out.”

   “It was great,” Y/B/F/N said.

   “Would’ve been better if you were there.”

    If I had been sober, I wouldn’t have dared to say such a thing, but my inebriated mind thought it would be a good idea. Erik smirked and stepped closer to me.

   “Are you sure you wouldn’t have preferred Julian over me?”

    I rolled my eyes. “No, I wanted you both there.” I stepped closer to Erik and ran my hand over his chest. “There were other men in the bar----total creeps----who kept hitting on me and Y/B/F/N. I just wish one of you could’ve been there to help us out.” I looked up at Erik. “To help me out.”

     Erik’s green eyes darkened and his hands gripped my hips, pulling me closer to him. “You have no idea how irresistible you look right now.”     I grinned. “I think I have an idea.”

    I think Y/B/F/N muttered an excuse before running off into our room, leaving Erik and me alone in the hotel room hallway. Anyone could’ve seen us: another player, a sneaky paparazzo, or my dad. However, I didn’t care as I stared into Erik’s eyes, which were full of lust and longing. It was as though something was pulling us closer together and all I could think of was how his lips----how his body----would feel pressed against mine.

   “Y/N?” I jumped and stepped away from Erik. Julian was standing in the doorway of his room, looking exhausted and incredibly gorgeous in only a pair of sweatpants, showing off his sculpted abs.

   I gulped. “Oh, uh, hi, Julian. Shouldn’t you be resting up for tomorrow’s match?”

  “I got woken up,” Julian said, glaring at Erik.

   Erik stepped forward. “Just go back to sleep, man, everything’s fine out here.”

  “No, it isn’t.” Julian stalked towards us and for a moment, I was sandwiched between him and Erik. “Things haven’t been fine for a long time.”

   “Julian,” I grabbed his face so he would look at me, “this isn’t a big deal.”

   “ Zum Teufel ist es nicht!” Erik hissed. “Y/N, we have been playing this game for too long and I for one am tired of fighting over you with Julian.”

   “The same goes for me.” Julian looked extremely downcast as he pulled my hands away from his face. “I care for you deeply, Y/N, but I do not want to have the urge to fight my teammate because we are fighting over a girl. You need to choose.”

   “Yeah, me or him,” Erik said.

   And that was when I began to panic. All the kind things they each did for me as well as the sexual-tension-filled moments we each shared flew through my mind. I wanted to choose between the two of them but I couldn’t, especially not in my state.

   “I can’t,” I whispered.

   They both looked extremely disappointed in me. As they both began walking to their respective rooms, I realized that I couldn’t risk losing the both of them.

   “Wait!” I said.

   They both stopped.

   “I’ll make a deal: if Germany beats Argentina for the Cup, I will make my decision at the after party. If Germany loses, I will not make a decision.”

   “What does that mean?” Erik asked.

    “It means none of us wins,” Julian said.

   “I think it’s a risk we’ll have to take. What do you say?”

   Julian and Erik glanced at each other.

   “I have faith in our team, how about you, Draxler?”

   “I think we will do well.” 

    Erik looked at me. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Y/N.”

   “Fine.”

   “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Julian said.

    The gravity of the deal didn’t hit me until I woke up the next morning. The fate of my relationship with two incredible men was hinged on the result of the game. However, Dad had been working with the team extremely hard so we definitely had a good chance of winning. The only problem was I still had no idea who I would pick.

   “Did you write up a pros and cons list?” Y/B/F/N asked.

    We were sitting in the stadium, the two calmest people in the stadium. We had perfect view of the pitch which meant I could clearly see all members of the team, including Julian and Erik. There seemed to be much less tension between them than there was beforehand. 

    Y/B/F/N was chomping on nachos when she asked me that question. 

   “Yes,” I said.

   “And?”

   “And I still can’t choose.”

   “Y/N, you’re twenty-two years-old, you’re a grown woman and grown women have to make decisions. Do not be like every girl in young adult books and TV shows that I hate and refuse to pick between two guys. You’re a smart girl----no, a smart woman and you do not have time for these games.”

    “You’re right, I have to make my decision. Thanks, Y/B/F/N.”

     “You’re welcome and just to let you know, I will be happy to take one of them off of your hands.”

     I laughed and swatted her arm before turning back to the pitch. The game was amazing and stressful, but when Germany won, I think I lost my voice. Everyone played magnificently, especially Erik and Julian, but no one was more ecstatic than Dad. He was one of the first people to run out on to the pitch with the WAGs and other players trailing behind him. I dragged Y/B/F/N with me ,cheering, screaming, and hugging the players. Then, I got to Julian.

   “Congratulations, Julian,” I said as I hugged him and kissed his cheek.

   “Thank you, Y/N.”

   I turned to see Erik through the crowd of players and he did not look happy. They deserved equal attention since they both contributed equally to Germany’s win. 

    “I’ll see you tonight?”

    “Of course.”

    I grinned at him before running over to Erik. “Congratulations, Erik.”

   He managed a small, knowing smile as he hugged me and picked me up, making me squeal. “Couldn’t have done it without my good luck charm.”

   “Put me down, Erik!” I yelled through a laugh.

   When he did put me down, he stared into my eyes in a way that made my heart drop to my stomach. The only person who has looked at me so intensely was Julian.

   “Y/N...”

   “Y/N!” Dad grabbed me and kissed my cheek. “We WON!”

   I managed a wide smile for Dad and hugged him back. “No, Dad, you won.”

   He had wanted a win for Germany for so long and now he got it. I did feel some guilt sneaking behind his back, but after tonight, there wouldn’t be anymore guilt. As Dad got picked up by his players and carried on their shoulders after accepting the trophy, I made my decision.

    The party was being held at some bar in Rio, where only German players, their wives or girlfriends, or celebrities had been invited. The sound of the German national anthem nearly drowned out Rihanna’s “Pour It Up”, making the singer jokingly yell in protest. I was nursing my third gin and tonic, working up my courage to talk to Julian and Erik, who were socializing with other teammates.

   Y/B/F/N sighed as she plopped down in the seat next to me. “Mario is an insane dancer!”    “Yeah.”

   “What’s wrong, Y/N? Still having trouble picking?”

   “No, I’ve decided who I want, but I’m just having trouble admitting it.”    “Y/N, they’re only a few hundred feet away and you shouldn’t be insecure. You’ve made a decision and you look bomb, nothing can stop you.”

   “Thanks, Y/B/F/N. I’m still a little nervous.”    “Another G and T will solve that. I’ll be right back.” Y/B/F/N bounced over to the bar to order me another drink.

   I don’t think anyone is fortunate enough to find a friend like her. However, almost immediately after she left, Julian and Erik came over.

   “Y/N, we need to speak with you,” Julian said.

   “Yes, of course.”

   The moment was here and there was no more running away from it. I sighed as I stood, brushing off any dust from my sequin camoflauge pants and followed the two of them into a private room. There was only a couple of cushioned chairs in the room, but it didn’t matter because I had a feeling that we wouldn’t be sticking around for long.

    “So, we won,” Erik said.

    “Yes.”

     “And now it’s time for you to hold up your end of the deal.”

     “Yes.”

     “Erik and I talked and we decided that no matter what the decision is, we won’t let it influence the team or our relationship badly,” Julian said.

    “That’s good.”

     I took a deep breath. The moment I thought was going to be so liberating was terrifying, but the gin and tonic I’d had before was helping. Dad was definitely going to kill me for this.      “I choose...”

     And the rest is history. 

[hurtsy-fiction]

From the life of a tattoo artist

Benjamin David Foster was a tattoo artist for many years now. He had always been passionate about this form of creative outlet and at the young age of sixteen, he had started with his first tattoos. 

Of course, he had first of all tried it out on himself and luckily on places which weren’t visible in his normal everyday life because oh boy did they look crappy. Later, as he had gotten better at it, he had also tried it on some friends of his’, who back then thought it was just the coolest thing. Admittedly, when he saw those tattoos, of which he had been pretty proud at the beginning of his tattoo career, now, it made him flinch. 

But everyone starts from scratch, right? And to get better at what you do and love, you have to keep trying and trying. Sure, there will be lows and it wasn’t any different for Benjamin. He as well had had his times where he thought he’d quit. Difficult times where he had barely any money. But the passion for tattooing kept him going and look where he’s now. He’s got his own studio and people are so hooked by his style of tattooing, that he’s booked up for months in advance.  

Anyway, today he had a quite popular customer. Theo from the band Hurts. He wanted a bluebird on his ribcage and said he’d bring his friend and bandmate Adam with him, as emotional support.

Ben had put up his headphones, played his favourite music on full volume and started drawing some drafts. He had to admit that he had to look up bluebirds on google for that, as he had never actually heard of their existence in the first place. But oh, if only bluebirds were the weirdest thing he got asked to tattoo.

 Anyway, after some slight difficulties in the first attempt, he soon had finished some sketches he was happy with. As he looked up onto the clock, he saw that it was 10:27 am already. So he had just enough time to accredit himself a nice cup of coffee before his appointment at 11 am.

+++

The two men punctually arrived at the tattoo studio and Ben was nicely surprised. He had had some famous customers before and some had a quite diva like behaviour and were late without even apologizing. As if he wanted something from them and not the other way round. 

Anyway, this Theo and his friend seemed sympathetically to him already. Even though Theo did look a bit nervous, but who could blame him. After all he was about to be tattooed on one of the most painful spots one could even pick.

However, the man had shown his customer his sketches and the singer had quickly decided for the draft of the bluebird with his wings sprawled out. Pleased with this decision, as Ben liked this one the most as well, he prepared a stencil with the favoured motive while the two men already went into the tattoo room.

A few minutes later, he joined them and shaved the man’s fine hair from the chosen spot on his ribcage, before he applied the stencil. After the singer had checked and approved the position in front of the mirror, he took place on the comfy looking seat and Benjamin got a pair of disposable gloves and his needles ready.  

+++ two hours later +++

“Want me to hold your hand?”, Adam asked his mate, more jokingly than actually being serious, but in the next moment Theo had already grabbed one of his hands and held on to it tightly.

“Oh fucking hell.”, the man groaned and tried to breathe evenly, despite the pain.

Noticing his customer’s agony, Ben stopped tattooing and turned off the tattoo machine. He had already applied some numbing gel onto the reddened spot on the man’s body but the effect hadn’t really lasted long.

“You know, if it’s that unbearable for you, maybe we should just call it a day and set another appointment for next week?”, he suggested.

“To be honest, I’m surprised you could even take it that long as your tattoo is quite big and I’ve had people collapse at way smaller ones. The ribcage is an unbelievably painful spot to tattoo.”, Ben added.

“No!”, his customer quickly gave back.

“No.”, Theo repeated himself. “It has to get finished today. I won’t be in town anymore next week. We’ll head to Germany tomorrow.”, the singer replied through clenched teeth.

“Alright then. Just a few more minutes. I’ll try to make this as fast as possible.”, Benjamin replied and activated his machine again.

Honestly, he knew it weren’t just “a few more minutes” and the singer probably knew that as well but if he’d just say that often enough, they’d be done eventually.

Ben saw the pained expression on the man’s face as he set the sharp tip of the angrily humming machine to his skin again.

+++ 20 minutes later +++

“Oh my goooooood”, Theo groaned in pain and tormented his poor friend’s hand, which by now surely had no proper blood circulation anymore.

“Adam, please distract me.”, he mumbled through gritted teeth, his forehead sweaty and eyes tightly shut.

“What? How? What am I supposed to do?”, Adam gave back, having no idea how to help his mate and seeming totally overstrained with the current situation.

“I don’t know... Tell me something. Anything. A joke, what you had for breakfast- Fuck, I really don’t care just please do something!”, the singer almost sobbed.

The man was already shivering all over, the skin in the area of the tattoo heavily reddened. Ben quickly glanced at the singer’s friend and saw the despair in his face. He seemed helpless looking at his pained mate. Of course he wanted to help the other but what on earth was he supposed to do? Would a detailed description of scrambled eggs with bacon be enough to distract the singer from the pain? Very doubtable.

Suddenly Ben held his breath, as he saw how Adam leaned down and kissed his pained friend on the mouth. Quickly but gently. At that unforeseen action, he stopped his machine and noticed how Theo froze in an instant. His band mate’s face turned a bright shade of red as he hastily pulled back again, his free hand quickly coming up to cover his mouth and eyes wide open. He seemed quite horrified at his own action. 

However, said man’s anguished friend still did not move. Seemed like the rather unusual form of distraction really did help.

After Ben had shaken himself out of it and had finally set the needle to his customer’s skin again, he didn’t hear any curse or complaint or actually any other sound come out of the singer’s mouth. He almost seemed paralysed, his face seeming peaceful, the agony gone. Luckily, he was still breathing though and thus, the tattoo artist quickly took advantage of it and continued to finish his work. 

As he was almost done, he noticed the singer blink a bit irritated. Seemed like he was back to earth again.

“Thanks”, the man eventually uttered after what felt like an eternity, his face slightly flushed.

“Don’t mention it.”, Adam croaked, his voice a bit higher than usual and blushed heavily, avoiding to look at his mate.

By the way the man had said this, Ben thought to himself that what he actually meant was “Never, under no circumstances ever, bring up this incident.”

“I’ll uhh... I’ll just wait outside.”, the older man uttered and let go of Theo’s hand, which now had loosened it’s tight grip on his own.

+++

As the singer and his band mate had left the shop, Ben’s thoughts still lingered on them for a moment. He briefly wondered if the two actually were a couple but quickly dismissed this assumption again because they hadn’t seemed like that. Despite the kiss. 

There certainly was a great chemistry between them though, Benjamin could tell that, even after only briefly getting to know them. After all, you don’t take anyone to the tattoo studio with you. At least not when you’re sober and clear thinking. It had to be someone special, someone who’d most likely see you in pain and very vulnerable.

He also had to admit that, just visually speaking, they’d make a nice couple, actually. He couldn’t help but wonder if they’d ever talk about what had happened today or just remain silent about it. Maybe they’d even- Wait. God fucking damn it, he really needed to stop. Was he seriously starting to ship his customers? Bloody hell, he had definitely read too much Johnlock fiction the night before.

Benjamin quickly shook himself out of it and focused onto the artwork he was preparing for his next customer. The guy wanted a rotting looking zombie on his back. That’d hopefully distract him for a while.