#one person went as far as implying she did not want claire to answer her question when she asked it

[thatsouthernstate]

Andrew Scott & Claire Foy at a taping of Happy, Sad, Confused Live with Josh Horowitz at Symphony Space.

Takeaways:

Claire Foy is a an absolute gem! Confirmed.

Andrew got emotional again at the idea that a movie like All of Us Strangers would have even been made when he was younger and that he’d be able to be in it. You can really feel how much he loves this one and how much it means to him. I swear to god I nearly cried too. So sweet.

Claire brought up something so interesting that I hadn't really thought about after my first viewing of the movie -- That when a child loses their parents, obviously the child is losing so much. But the parent also loses the ability to be apart of their child's life. I guess as someone who doesn't have kids, I hadn't really thought about that. But that idea that you would have kids and then not be able to watch them grow up is gut wrenching. I can't imagine.

Claire loves the word “Surrender”. Hard agree.

Andrew hates the word “Wednesday”.

They reenacted that scene from Harry Met Sally and let me tell you…. Iconic.

Andrew has read all of the “filthy, feral” things you’ve posted about him on the internet. But he’s sorta…. Okay with it? 😂

I have to find me someone who looks at me the way Andrew looks at Jamie Dornan giving his detailed recipe of roasted potatoes. 

Andrew wants to bring Vanya to New York! 🙌🏽

[akasanata]

I was writing this for a prompt from @gerec for the rare pairs, but didn't manage to finish it. Sending it to the void to see if I can find motivation to continue.

Warnings: Underage (implied at this point)

Prompt:

Age Difference AU. You can also go with Howard Stark/Charles, Winston Frost/Charles, or any older non-Erik parental figure/Charles pairing :D Charles is rich, spoiled and used to getting what he wants (even without having to use his telepathy), and what he WANTS is to seduce his best friend's Dad! Maybe he does it to just prove that he can, or maybe it's at the request of his bestie to get back at their parent (i.e. because Tony or Emma or Raven/Cain asked him to do it). Feel free to take this in any direction - Dad legit 'falls' for Charles, or they mutually use each other, or Charles ends up being the one smitten and then unceremoniously discarded. Just make Charles the instigator and the other party a reluctant (at first) and then very willing target.

“Maybe... we could head over Tony’s, play around his workshop for a bit,” Charles suggested, trying to sound as casually as possible. Tony groaned. “No. No way, I’m not letting you anywhere near my dad!” Charles pouted, “what’s that supposed to mean! Your workshop is amazing, I just want to check it out!” “Uh huh,” was Tony unimpressed answer, “you’ve never shown any interest on anything mechanical before, and I know what you did with Emma’s dad.” “Hey, that was a mutually beneficial deal!” “That doesn’t change the looks you’ve been throwing Howard! So no, not going to my house when my dad’s home!” Charles huffed. The last thing he expected was to have resistance from Tony. He and Howard barely talked, and when they did, it was only to insult each other. He had thought it would be similar to what had happened with Winston Frost. Emma had been the one to actually suggest it, when she realized he was interested (which was, of course, as soon as Charles thought about it), going so far as to help him. She saw it as some kind of retribution for what he had done to her brother Christian.

Speaking of which... he turned to Emma, but by the way she was reading her book, purposely ignoring them, he supposed he would get no help from her.

Charles huffed again. Fine. If Tony wouldn’t let him go to Howard, then he would have to find a way to make Howard come to him.

A week later, Charles pretended to have a migraine when Tony invited him to try a new club. He ignored Emma’s knowing look, and went home. He had carefully organized everything. A casual comment at dinner last week about Howard Stark’s advances in mutant gene research, a little mental suggestion for Kurt to invite him to his personal lab, a miscommunication in the hour they’d meet, and Howard would be his for at least one hour. He paced his room impatiently until he finally felt two minds quickly approaching the mansion: Howard and his driver. He went downstairs, ready to intercept. It all went as planned. Claire, the housekeeper, opened the door, and as she was informing Howard about Kurt’s absence, Charles casually walked by. “Mr. Stark?” he asked, feigning surprise, “did you need anything?” “Charles!” Howard’s mind ringed with surprise and excitement, making Charles even more sure of himself. Charles thanked Claire, dismissing her. “I was supposed to meet Kurt…” Howard trailed off. “Oh, Kurt will come back shortly. If you have the time, you can wait for him. I’ll keep you company,” Charles smiled innocently, opening his eyes widely and slightly biting his naturally red lips. Howard’s gaze drifted to his mouth. Bingo! Still, Howard hesitated, “I wouldn’t want you to put up with an old man like me, I’ll find a way to entertain myself.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” replied Charles, coming closer, “you wouldn’t deny me a game of chess, would you? I have no one else to play with.” They were close, way closer than what would be appropriate, almost at kissing distance. Almost. Howard wasn’t a tall man, but he was still taller than Charles, making Charles having to look up at him through his lashes. Howard chuckled. “Sometimes I forget that your tastes are like an old man’s. You wouldn’t find Tony near a chess set even under death threat.” “Nothing wrong with having an old man’s taste,” Charles answered, licking his lips slowly and making sure his gaze wandered all over Howard’s body. He could feel the interest in Howard’s mind, but in that moment, hesitation was stronger. Maybe he overdid it a little. “Come on,” Charles added, abruptly turning around, “we’ll set the game in the library, that way, we won’t have interruptions.” He made sure to walk in a way that’d emphasize his butt, and without waiting for an answer, went into the library. Howard followed. As he said, all according to plan. One hour later, and Kurt’s arrival imminent, things had not gone according to plan. Charles had expected they’d have delicious sexy times. Maybe to have blown Howard and leave him wanting for more. Instead, they had actually played chess. And Charles had forgotten all about his sexy times plan because he was having fun. Playing chess. It’d been years since Charles played chess. Maybe since his father had died. But he had read a lot of strategy books, and his memory was eidetic. Still, Howard was no fool, and playing against him turned out to be a real challenge. On top of that, they were having a conversation about the mutant gene. And Howard was listening to his ideas, not just dismissing them like Kurt always did. The game was interrupted when Kurt entered the library. Charles had been shielding completely, as to not accidentally read any of Howard’s strategies, so he hadn’t felt Kurt arrive, which was not good.

[noah-moth-cursed-chaos]

Museums and Abstract Paintings: A quinnby fic, chapter four

Quick disclaimer: Chris’ amnesia is not modeled after any real world type of amnesia, please don’t base any understanding of real world amnesia off of it. Tw for mentions of murder and implied mentions of murder, along with guilt and anxiety.

Trilby didn’t quite know how to take what he’d learned on his mission with Chris. He’d noticed the ministry was always short staffed. He hadn’t before recognized the constant influx of new faces, or how there was usually no explanation to what happened to the old ones. They were all just hear to get tossed into the fire in the fruitless attempt to protect a few civilians. There was a better chance of ending up dead or insane than making it through their job. Why did so many people stay? Did everyone come in the way he did? Wanted by the law and under threat of imprisonment if they didn’t work for the government? He sighed as he got up from his desk, his report wasn’t as detailed as his usual work but it was good enough. Time to turn it in.

Despite the small staff there was no lack of the normal office gossip in the ministry building, usually about the results of another agent’s mission. Trilby overheard a snippet of this as he walked past.

“Yeah, came in covered in blood, again, think most of it was his this time.”

“Good grief, Chris really is trying to cost the carpet cleaners a fortune isn’t he?”

“Is he okay?” Trilby had stopped, glancing at his two coworkers.

“Not sure, he’s in the infirmary. But he’s always bounced back before so I’m sure he’s doin’ fine.” One of them said.

“Starting to doubt he *can* die he’s done this so many times.” The other said.

Trilby changed his route after that, heading up to the floor the infirmary was on, the report could wait.

Chris hated when he had to get stitches. Oh well. He was alive, a bit worse for wear, but alive.

“In no point did it cross your mind to, I dunno, *run*? There’s no shame in not coming in here a bloody mess after every other job, y’know, plenty of agents manage it quite well.” Claire walked in, an expression of concern and exasperation on her face.

“Not demonslayers.” Chris said, “Besides, it’s not *that* bad.” He shrugged.

“You have too much pride in your mission record, you can fail one mission.” She shot at him.

Chris could’ve laughed, he couldn’t give less sh^ts about his mission record, “It isn’t about that. With some of the jobs other people here have, if they slip up someone else comes in and it’s fine, if I slip up people could get hurt, good people.”

“You already saved the world once y’know, it can be someone else’s problem now.” Claire sighed, “... but I guess I get where you’re coming from.”

“Saved the world?” The two turned to the doorway to see Trilby, who looked thoroughly confused with what he just heard.

“Yeah I saved the world from a henweigh.”

“.. a henweigh?” Trilby asked.

“Yeah.”

The thief paused, clearly having expected clarification, “And what’s a henweigh?”

“‘Bout ten pounds.” Chris smirked. Claire chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“You know one day someone’s gonna ask about it who’s already heard that joke.” She pointed out.

“So you didn’t actually save the world?” Trilby asked.

“Who knows.” Chris smirked at the other’s annoyance, “Maybe I did maybe I didn’t.”

“You can just say you don’t want to answer.”

“I know, but it’s funny to watch you get annoyed. I do think I’m gonna leave you in the dark though, mate.”

“Well, at least you’re alive to do that, heard you ruined the carpet coming in.” The ex thief leaned against the wall, Chris couldn’t help but laugh.

Trilby had tried to brush off what he heard in the infirmary, maybe they were just joking around. Really, Chris saving the world? Sounded about as likely as a beaver running for parliament. But he also barely really knew anything about Chris. Just that he took more dangerous assignments and was known for being reckless and unpredictable. But for some reason he couldn’t shake his intrigue. Couldn’t hurt to ask around.

Turns out it couldn’t help either. The answers people had just raised more questions. Chris stopped something horrible, nobody knew what it was or how he did it. Some people even suspected it was just some delusion, seeming as apparently he was supposed to be in a mental hospital during the time.

Trilby guessed he wasn’t quite as sneaky about his prying into the matter as he assumed, because Chris did find out eventually, and did confront him.

“Ya know it’s kinda rude to go asking about someone’s personal business behind their back.” Trilby couldn’t tell if the redheaded man who’d walked into his office was upset with him or not.

“... pardon?” The idea of being found out hadn’t crossed his mind, so he wasn’t quite sure what Chris could be talking about.

“You *really* wanna know what Claire was talking about in the infirmary don’t you?” The taller man raised an eyebrow. A younger Trilby likely would’ve turned an impressive shade of red at realizing he’d been caught, or would’ve tried to think up some half baked excuse as to why he’d been snooping. But now Trilby held his composure, despite the slight panic he felt inside.

“Oh, yes I have been looking into that.” Trilby said, turning his attention back to the file he was reading, “Is that a problem?”

There was a short pause before Chris spoke again, “... I guess I could tell you.” He said, “On two conditions.” Trilby couldn’t help but look up, intrigued to hear whatever conditions the taller man wanted met. “You meet me at the museum tonight at 4, and you don’t call me crazy.”

Chris was more than anxious as he waited outside the museum. Why the hell had he agreed to talk about it? Why here? Trilby would just think he was insane or he still belonged in the mental hospital or-

“Quinn?” He was snapped out of his thoughts, finding Trilby standing a small distance away, “Are we going in?”

“Oh uh-yeah.” Chris cleared his throat and got up, “.. how long have you been standing there, by the way?”

“Nearly ten minutes.” Oh. Oh sh^t. He just let him stand there for ten minutes. God Quinn you’re stupid.

“Sh^t, sorry mate.” Chris lead him inside. There weren’t many people here, and those that were seemed caught up enough in their own exploration of the building to pay no mind to the two men. Chris showed Trilby his favorite exhibits, talking about the history behind them and why they caught his eye. Trilby seemed more interested in Chris’ words than the museum itself, but his eyes lingered on more valuable exhibits, and Chris wondered if he was thinking of what it’d be like to have possession of them. Eventually they wondered to a part nobody was in at the moment.

“Why did you want to meet here?” Trilby asked, “Why not your apartment or my office or.. anywhere more secluded?”

“Uh, stupidly enough I figured it would be. Sorta a neutral ground. We’ve both made fools of ourself in front of each other in a place like this.” Chris explained. He walked over to a bench and sat down, “So how much did you find out eventually?”

“Not too much I think. Something happened when you were in a mental hospital, you stopped it somehow. Nobody knows what it was. Well, Claire might, but when I asked her she told me to mind my own business. Hey! Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just-“ Chris managed to calm down, “You sounded so offended.” He said, “Well, I’m uh, not really sure if my version of the story is even the whole thing.” He said, yeah that’s a good way to start Chris, set yourself up as an unreliable narrator. God he probably already thinks you’re nuts.

“What do you mean?”

“I Uh, don’t remember anything really before uh. The night my parents died.” He began, “Sometimes things feel familiar or I think I *should* remember something but I just... don’t. That day I was heading to their home after a book signing. I was stressed and they’d left a voicemail asking me to come over and I just.. I thought maybe seeing them would make things a little better. But they were dead when I got there, murdered. They never found the killer.”

“Oh I’m... sorry.” Trilby didn’t expect the story to start off with dead parents, Chris figured. It sounded like a cliche. He sounded like a sh^tty comic book hero.

“It’s fine, nothing that can be done now.. I checked myself into a mental hospital, I’m pretty sure it was a last straw thing for me. I didn’t react the way I thought I should’ve. Figured I should get help.” He was pretty sure the hospital f^cked him up more, but he didn’t say that, “One day I woke up and there was just a guard, dead. I didn’t really know what to do, so I took his gun and went out to investigate. The place was crawling with zombies, which I know sounds insane but it’s true, I recognized some of ‘em, other patients, guards, they smelled like rotting flesh and I remember wondering if I breathed in too close if I’d catch it. At first I didn’t really think about what was going on, I mean what are you supposed to think? I had to get out. That’s what I thought. I had to get out and I had to find out what was causing this and I had to get rid of it because otherwise I’d die. It was kind of a blur until I got shot.” Chris glanced at Trilby, trying to read his face for a reaction to what he’d said so far, he couldn’t find one. The other agent was just.. listening. Chris paused before he continued, “I killed this big lard^rse looking thing and then one of those walking corpses shot me. I woke up in a graveyard, I was one of them but.. somehow I wasn’t. Gone. Not like they were. I went to my parents house to see if there was anything there that might help. I don’t really remember everything I grabbed. I fought my way through the rest of ‘em, I killed it, the evil, the thing that was doing it all, at least I think I did.. I remember the life leaving my body and thinking it was my time.”

“But you’re not dead. Or a zombie.” Trilby now sounded confused, Chris didn’t blame him, this was all so odd he could barely make sense of it half the time. He sometimes wondered if maybe he was just delusional.

“Yeah. That’s what doesn’t make sense. I died a zombie and woke up a human on the side of the road with a bunch of guns and the book of transformations. Everything was normal and nobody knew anything about a zombie apocalypse.” Chris said, “But there were. A lot of people dead. Really quick. A lot of them looked like the zombies I killed. Nobody could figure out what did that to them.”

“I actually remember hearing about that on the news.” Trilby admitted.

“.. sometimes I wonder if there could’ve been a better way. If I’d known I swear I would’ve found one but- but... yeah.” He sighed, why was he saying this? Why had he agreed to talk about it?

Chris looked so uneasy, Trilby wondered if his mind was taking him back to what he went through, or thought he went through. He wondered how to break the tense silence, and silently realized why Chris chose this place to meet. Last time both of them were in a museum was lighthearted and fun and honestly ridiculous. Despite how quickly Trilby left it behind and forgot about it, the few times he had thought about it it was never a *bad* memory. As absurd as what Chris was saying sounded to an observer, to the demonslayer this was a personal hell. A shroud of guilt and uncertainty that he couldn’t shake. “... I’m not going to say I know what that’s like, because I don’t, I don’t think it’s *possible* for someone else to go through something like that. But I do know what it’s like to only realize something you did after it was done.” He didn’t know why he said that, or why Chris talking about the people he’d killed stuck out so much to him.

“.. what do you mean? If you’re okay saying it?” Chris’ voice was soft, quiet.

“There Uh, was a mansion, some things happened... it was my body but.. it wasn’t *me*, I never would’ve done it if I had control.” Trilby elected to keep details sparse, he was sure trying to explain what happened at Defoe Manner wouldn’t do either of them any favors. Besides. Chris had brought him here to share something. This wasn’t show and tell, and he didn’t want it to seem like he was trying to upstage the other.

“.. I don’t think it really counts against you then, you didn’t want to do it.”

“I don’t think what you did is your fault either. You had no clue what would happen.” He paused before adding, “I won’t say a word of what you told me. I swear.”

Chris paused, before grinning a bit, “Hey, maybe this can be a thing, but, less morbid in the future. Museums could be like our Las Vegas.” He had effectively dispersed the tense mood between the two with that.

“What?” Trilby had to hold back a laugh, what the hell was the other saying?

“You know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? We can hang out in museums and do whatever we want and say whatever we want and when we leave we don’t tell anyone about it.” Trilby had to admit, it was a nice idea, if a bit silly. A place where both of them could be vulnerable yet also maintain complete privacy the moment they left.

“That sounds nice.” Trilby said, “Next time let’s go to an art museum. They’re less boring.”

[schrijverr]

Q&A pt. 2

After a while it’s time for another Q&A where Dean and Cas answer your questions.

Part of the Famous Husband verse, which is also a series.

On AO3.

Ships: Destiel

Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed anything or you want me to tag something!

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“I like could become an angel, but I’d say no, just because I think it would suck to have to answer to God, as a human it’s at least optional.” Dean said as Cas started giggling.

After that the intro rolled, it was a drawn impala that came down the road, it stopped in the middle of the screen and the drawn Dean gave a wink to the viewers, then he sped off again and the smoke was bridge back to the video.

“Hi Hunters and welcome back to yet another Q&A, I’m here with my husband, Cas, to answer some of your questions, so lets get started.” Dean began the video.

“Hello.” Cas nodded, while Dean opened his phone.

“Okay, first up @Spngrl272, who asks: ‘If you were to dye your hair an unnatural color what would it be and why?’ Hm, interesting, what do you think, angel?” Dean said.

Cas thought about it for a moment, then he answered: “Pink, or maybe red, because I think it would be fun mostly, I do not have a specific reason.”

Dean nodded thoughtfully and said: “Yeah, I can see that. I think I would dye it blue, but it would have to be the color of your eyes, because that’s the best color I know.”

Cas blushed and shoved Dean slightly as he said: “You sap.”

“Only for you, darling.” Dean batted his eyelashes over the top, then he turned to his phone and said: “Next one! This is from @reesespuffs1 and they ask: ‘What’s your favourite memory of each other?’ Now that’s a hard one.”

“I agree there are so many to pick from.” Castiel agreed.

A silence fell and it was obvious that a chunk was cut out between then and the answers while they thought about it.

“I have one, but it’s going to sound really cheesy.” Dean said, “It’s from a few years back and we’d just moved here, we finally had our own place, you know. Anyway, it was a Saturday and you were sleeping in, but I woke up early and I was gonna surprise you with a breakfast in bed.”

Cas was smiling softly as Dean talked, but he softly broke it to say: “I remember that, I’d had a horrible week and we’d gone to bed early.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Deans voice had also gone soft, “But the sun was peaking through the curtains and it hit your face and you were just so peaceful and it was totally like a movie scene and it just struck me how lucky I was to have you and that this was real.”

Giving him a quick peck on the cheek, Cas said: “That was kind of cheesy, but also really sweet.”

“I try.” Dean grinned, “So, what do you got?”

“Well, it’s an old one and there were many others, who also had a lot of potential, but this was from before we were dating.” Castiel told him.

“God, that is old.” Dean commented.

“I know, but it was during exam week and I’d fallen asleep at my desk, I knew I did because I remembered thinking ‘oh god this isn’t good, I should go to sleep.”

Cas got interrupted: “That is such an A+ internal monologue.”

“I was very eloquent back then, you might not notice it nowadays, but I was quite the talker.” Cas joked, before he went on: “So I had fallen asleep at my desk, but I awoke to you carrying me to bed, it was briefly and I dropped off again right after, but I never forgot and you never even mentioned it, but it was very sweet.”

“Ahw, thanks.” Dean said, before clearing his throat and reading out: “@Winter_Wolf101 wants to know: ‘What’s the weirdest fan interaction you’ve ever had?’ Had any already, Cas?”

“Not really, unless you count that girl at the supermarket, who I made eyecontact with and she just dropped a thing full of eggs in surprise.” Cas replied.

Dean laughed at that, before he answered: “I think that had to be the time a girl asked me to sign panties and she just handed me a pair, like she carried them around just in case. Note, this was not during a convention or something, she just happened to have one in her pocket.”

“What?” Cas asked.

“I don’t know either, man, that’s why it was so weird.” Dean shrugged.

“That is quite unusual.”

“Next question is from @Why_do_you_want_to_know, who asks: ‘What is Cas’ weirdest habit?’ I think we answered this in the husband tag video and I mentioned your eating habits with burgers.” Dean answered.

“Did you think of a new answer?” Cas asked.

“Lemme think,” Dean hummed, then: “Oh, yeah, Claire mentioned this to me. I hadn’t even noticed until she pointed it out, but that’s just because I haven’t lived without you for over a decade. But you don’t really blink whenever you’re listening to someone.”

“Really?” Cas frowned.

“It’s nothing bothersome or anything and I’m not even sure that counts as a habit, but it is peculiar.” Dean was quick to say.

“I guess, I don’t really feel the need to blink usually.” Cas said thoughtfully.

“Dude just you saying that would have made it into the docu.” Dean grinned, “Which brings us to the next question from @Shazzy_Cat_1903 and they ask: ‘We all know that Cas is an angel, but if Dean were a mythical creature, which would he be?’ What do you think?”

“I would say you’re also an angel, since you’re so caring and nice, but I don’t think you would agree with that.” Cas answered.

“Yeah.” Dean replied, “I like could become an angel, but I’d say no, just because I think it would suck to have to answer to God, as a human it’s at least optional.”

Cas choked on a breath, before he started giggling at that. Getting a glint in his eyes, Dean went on: “Or I’d go full demon, just to make us Romeo and Juliet and God would be sitting on his big throne in heaven just face-palming while you try to sneak around with me, forgetting he’s all knowing.”

Cas giggled some more, but he managed: “No, I’d try to get you to stop being a demon to make it alright again and you’d be grumpy about it.”

Dean laughed too and agreed: “Yes, yes, I would be. Very grumpy that I do not get to be a demon with little horns and a pitchfork.”

“I think that’s about as accurate as an angel having a harp, Dean.” Cas told him with a fond eyeroll.

“Aha, and how would you know that, angel?” Dean joked, getting another eyeroll.

Then more serious, he said: “Maybe I’d be a vampire, they’re cool and if you’re an angel then at least I’m immortal and get to spend forever with you.”

“That would be nice.” Cas said softly, before it cut to Dean reading the next question: “@Destiel_heaven, god, we did that ourselves didn’t we.”

“Technically it was Sam, who came up with it.” Cas said.

Dean pointed into the camera accusingly and said: “If you’re seeing this Sam, this is all your fault.”

A small message appeared: If I recalled correctly it was you, who first said the name out loud for the internet :( XP  ~Sam

“But what did they ask?” Cas asked.

“Uhm,” Deans eyes flickered back to his phone screen, “‘How long have you gone without talking to each other? And if you guys fight, who is the one to apologize first and make up?’”

“I don’t think we don’t talk to each other when we’re mad.” Castiel said.

“Yeah, I’m usually too sad about not seeing you that I try to make up as quickly as I can, and I think you do the same.” Dean agreed.

“But we usually don’t argue about important things, it’s mostly stupid stuff like you using my charger.” Cas said.

“It’s a pretty even balance, I’d say.”

“And I’d agree.”

“Cool, moving on then, @Lightningbugqueen, what a name by the way, wants to know: ‘How have Cas’ students been acting after they found out about Dean?’ Care to enlighten us, dear?” Dean read the next one.

“Mostly the same, it gets hard to be impressed when they have to listen to me talk about American History and force them to do assignments, but there are some questions here and there whenever you upload a video and a few of them did not trust me for the week between you taking a break and your documentary about me.” Castiel answered.

“First time your teacherness saved you from having to be social.” Dean grinned.

Castiel pouted: “I don’t think teacherness is a word, Dean.”

“I thought you taught History not English.” Dean was not deterred.

“I’m not that unsocial.” Cas whined.

“I know, sunshine, but you can be awkward. I meant it as a good thing.” Dean said gently.

It was silent for a beat, then Cas said: “I guess you are right that it is nice that this isn’t effecting work in the classroom. I’d hate to think it would be my fault if they got distracted and failed.”

“You are literally the sweetest person ever when you talk about your students.” Dean told him, getting squinted confused eyes and a cocked head in return.

Dean explained: “You care about them all so much and you want them to succeed, it’s really sweet, honestly.”

“Oh.” Cas didn’t really know what to respond to that, so he just said: “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Dean smiled, before turning back to his phone to read: “@Dean-no-no asks: ‘Does Cas get jealous of all the fans swooning over Dean?’ Only you can answer that one, angel.”

“I wouldn’t call in jealousy per se.” Cas said, getting two raised brows from Dean who remembered that the whole reason Cas barged in on that live stream so long ago was because of jealousy.

“Don’t look at me like that, I wasn’t done yet.” Cas told him, “I wouldn’t call in jealousy, more possessiveness. Jealousy implies that I feel like I don’t get the same attention as your fans, but you do still pay a lot of attention to me, it’s sometimes more that I feel some comments go a bit too far for the connection there is.”

“What?” Dean asked, “I get the start, but that last part.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s- They know a lot more about you then you from them, it’s just how it is, but sometimes comments come across as if you’re both the best of buds and it can go a bit too far in my  opinion.” Cas explained.

“Ah.” Dean got it, “Yeah, sometimes it can be a bit personal or uncomfortable.”

Cas nodded as Dean went on: “Now the last question is from @FanFictionIsLife1234, who asks: ‘What was the moment you realized you were in love with the other?’ Ending on a sappy note.”

“You love sappy notes.” Cas teased lightly.

“I absolutely do, but that’s just between us two. I think I answered this before, about us in the forest, but I’m curious about your answer.” Dean said.

“But that’s when you realized you liked me, when did you realize you loved me, I think that’s different. I knew I liked you when I stayed with you for the holidays and I just never felt more at home and happy than I did that summer, but I knew I loved you when we’d just moved in together and suddenly I realized how domestic we’d gotten.” Castiel answered.

Dean got a thoughtful expression on his face, before he said: “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am.” Cas grinned smugly.

“Little bastard.” Dean told him fondly, “But I do like your answer, most people don’t realize it’s the little things that really keep people together.”

“It’s kind of like in The Lord of the Rings, it’s the little things that keeps the evil at bay.” Cas agreed getting a look from Dean, “I’ve spend time with Charlie lately.”

“Ah, yeah that’ll do that to you.” Dean smiled, “But as for my answer, I think, god this is hard, I’ve always loved you it seems and picking something is hard, cause it was this slow built and suddenly I didn’t know how to exist without loving you, you know?”

Cas leaned into his side and said: “That is also a very sweet and good answer.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

It was quiet for a moment, then Dean cleared his throat and said: “Well, I think I’m ending the video now, hopefully you all enjoyed it.”

“I’m sure they did.” Cas smiled, making eyecontact and getting a smile back that could be the definition of hearteyes.

Cutting to the endcard Dean did his outro: “Like this video if you did, leave a comment, hit the subscribe button and ring that bell, there are links to more of me and Cas over here and I’ll see you on the road, bye!”

Then the video ended.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Dean talked about loving

Cas my heart exploded, they’re

just made for each other.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lollll little demon dean killed me

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE QUEERS HAVE BEEN FED BY THE GAY OVERLORDS

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If you told me a year ago that

Dean would be sappy with his

husband on main, I’d have

laughed, what a timeline to live in

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Who is that girl with the panties

I feel like I need to know more

about this, wtf

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean can carry Cass, get yo self a

swole man

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

fuck guess it’s time to write a

Romeo and Juliet angel/demon

AU now, fuck

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This man calls his husband the

sappiest nicknames, little bastard

and dude, get a man who can do

both lol

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

theyre so sweet, id puke if it wasnt

so cute

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Cas is my spirit animal when it

comes to social interaction

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THEYRE SO CUTEEEEEE!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[imnotdoneyet-forreal]

Deals with the Devil- 12

Author: Amanda Preston

Summary: A need to fill a void and an encounter to start something new, Elijah and Katya never knew that a simple one night stand would wind up into a love affair filled with family drama and side deals gone wrong.

Deals with the Devil Masterlist  

        Josh Rosza nervously tapped against the leather portfolio on his lap. It held his school transcript, a copy of his resume, and a few samples of his work. Davina had come by twice now to offer him something to drink and a few encouraging words but neither the cool water nor the encouragement helped calm the anxiety he held for the interview.

        He adjusted his tie once more and glanced at his watch when he heard the clicking of heels once more. 

        “Davina, I’m…” 

        Josh stops as he notices the woman in front of him was not Davina but someone else entirely.

        “Joshua?” 

        “That’s me,” he answers casually, quickly regretting the choice of words. “I mean, yes that’s…uh me.” 

        Her smile softens at his response and she nods. 

        “Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you,” she greets. “I’m Katya Fontaine. Follow me to the conference room.” 

        Josh is quick on his feet and follows a few steps behind her. Katya deliberately slowed her pace so she could walk beside him. 

        “You’re early,” she comments. “Which I like in a potential employee.” 

        “Thanks, I tried.” 

        “Is it ok to call you, Joshua?” she asks him. “Or would you prefer something more professional like Mr. Rosza?” 

        “Actually Josh is fine,” he answers. 

        “Ok, well I looked through the resume you sent me earlier,” Katya comments. “A lot of good stuff there. I’m impressed.” 

        “Thank you.” 

        The nerves he held before easing at the casual conversation. His hand moved to adjust his tie again but he stops himself from doing so as they reach the conference room. 

        “Ok, Josh,” she states as she offers him to take the opposite seat from her. “Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself? Something your resume didn’t cover.” 

        Josh knew that this was a typical interview question but he couldn’t help but still feel stressed in answering it. He opens his mouth to respond but is interrupted as another person steps into the room. 

        “Sorry, I’m late…” 

        “Marcel,” Katya states out of surprise. “What are you doing here?” 

        He shrugs casually as he takes the seat next to her. 

        “Thought I’ll sit in on Davina’s mystery man,” he answers, adjusting his suit and staring at the nervous man in front of him. 

        Katya should have known Marcel’s overprotectiveness over Davina would drive him here. She wanted to kick him out of the private interview but knew better than to do that in front of Josh. 

        Realizing that he was staying, Joshua went ahead and slid his print copy of his resume towards the man. He reads over it briefly and hums pensively. 

        “We’re talking about this later,” Katya mutters, not falling for his act. She then turns her smile towards Josh trying to make up for the intrusion. “Where were we?” 

        “Oh about me,” Josh nervously answers. “I guess… I uh… I moved to New Orleans for school a couple of years ago. I came with a friend but she left for reasons unknown and so I was left on my own. I got through school fairly well and then I uh… well, I’m going to be honest and say that I was asked to leave after what they label an incident.” 

        “And what would you prefer to call it?” Katya asks. 

        “A statement,” Josh answers. “The school was refusing to change so I forced them to see their mistake. I hacked into their system and changed a student’s gender label into the one they identified as. The school was not upset about the change, but the way I went to implement it. Hence, my departure.” 

        There was a silence that followed his explanation as Katya and Marcel shared a look. Josh swallowed nervously wondering if he had said too much of the incident. He wanted to be honest but it may have cost him a great opportunity. 

        “You’re honest,” Marcel responds. “I like that.” 

        “Thank you, Josh,” Katya follows up. “I know how hard it is to speak of something like this and I appreciate the honesty. It’s none of our business what you did in the past. What I’m concerned about is what you’re willing to do in the future.” 

        “I want to do what I love,” Josh answers. 

        “Which is?” 

        “This,” he states, pulling out the designs in his portfolio. “I’ve worked on websites before. I’ve designed, I’ve coded, I’ve formatted… whatever you need, I can do it.” 

        “And your degree?” Katya asks. 

        “I uh… I don’t know if I have the option of finishing that anymore.” 

        “I’m sure Marcel and I can figure something out about that,” Katya answers as she shared a look with Marcel once more. “It’s the least he could do for barging in today.” 

        Marcel simply chuckles and shrugs. 

        “I can look into it.” 

        Josh was confused as to what was going on. He expected this to be an interview not some kind of free aid. 

        “I’m sorry,” Josh interrupts. “Not that I wouldn’t mind going back to school but why would you go through all the effort of getting me back in?” 

        Katya couldn’t help but smile at him. 

        “I want you to achieve your future, Josh,” she answers. “You’ve got what it takes and then some. That passion of yours will take you far so how about it?” 

        Josh was still in the dark. 

        “How about what?” 

        Katya’s smile only grew bigger at the question. 

        “Come work for me,” she responds. “We’ll take it slow, like a trial run. I want to see if you really are prepared for the work ahead. In the meantime, Marcel will talk to your school and see if they can wipe that incident off your record and get you back in.” 

        Josh was in shock with everything she was telling him. Katya knew it was a lot but the young man in front of her didn’t deserve the harsh punishment for helping out a friend. 

        “You deserve to accomplish your dreams, Josh.” 

        He didn’t know what to say. He in fact did, but he wanted to scream it from the top of his lungs which would be widely inappropriate. 

        “Yes,” he answers with a smile. “Yes, I would love to come and work for you, Ms. Fontaine. Thank you.” 

        Katya offers her hand for him to shake which he eagerly does. Marcel was quick to intercept the joyous occasion by a fake cough. 

        “Excuse me,” he states. “I had a few lingering questions of my own.” 

        Katya rolls her eyes at him. 

        “Need I remind you that the questions you want to ask are widely inappropriate and illegal to ask.” 

        Marcel just shrugs and Katya rolls her eyes. She turns to Josh and just chuckles. 

        “Josh, for the sake of this being over, would you mind clearing up a simple misunderstanding?” 

        Josh frowns confused but nods, “Yes, of course.” 

        “What is your relationship with Davina Claire?” Marcel asks. “There’s a policy here at MoonStone revolving romantic…” 

        “Oh, no, no,” Josh chuckles out. “Davina and I… we’re just friends. We will only be friends.” 

        “But she…” 

        “Marcel,” Katya calls out to him. “Potential lawsuit.” 

        Marcel didn’t need to be reminded but he couldn’t let the issue go. Katya lets out a sigh while Josh felt amused at the situation overall. 

        “Mr. Marcel, sir,” Josh speaks up. “Davina and I are simply friends. I could never… date her.” 

        Josh tries to imply but Marcel was not having it. 

        “What?” 

        Josh turns to Katya who seems ready to bury herself alive. 

        “I’m not ashamed to say it,” Josh assures Katya. “Can I just speak freely?” 

        “Sure, I guess…” 

        Marcel looked between them wondering what they could possibly be speaking about. 

        “I’m gay,” Josh states. “Not happy gay, but attracted to men gay.”

        Marcel leans back into his chair at the announcement. 

        “Did that clear things up?” Josh asks. 

        Katya couldn’t help but laugh at this point causing Josh to ease up too. He smiled in amusement while Marcel couldn’t help but join in on the fun. 

        “I am so sorry,” Marcel apologizes. “I can be so dense when it comes to D.” 

        “You’re dense in other things too,” Katya jokes. 

        Marcel rolls his eyes but shakes off the comment. 

        “Alright, now that that’s over,” Katya sighs out. “Marcel, would you be a dear and pull up a contract for Josh?” 

        Marcel nods and Katya turns to Josh and can’t help but smile at him. 

        “Come by tomorrow to get the paperwork done,” Katya instructs him. “I’ll explain the role you’ll be filling and we’ll find you a space to work in. I’ll have Davina give you the grand tour and explain the employment policy to you.”

        She stands up from her seat prompting the end of the interview. 

        “Welcome to MoonStone Publishing, Josh.”

[mimzy-writing-online]

10/10/10 Tag Game

Thank you to @emdop for tagging me in this. This is their tag game here

How it works, answer ten questions your tagger gave you, make ten new questions and tag ten new people to answer.

1. For any of your OCs: What’s their favorite drink?

Ulric: black coffee or cappuccino for a treat

Anna: Earl Grey tea

Felix: English Breakfast tea

2. What very specific thing do you like to write the most?

The scene when two characters sit down and talk, opening up to each other

3. Favorite Tropes?

Friends to lovers, slow burn friendship, slow burn romance, found family, 

4. Least Favorite Tropes?

Enemies to Lovers with no friend stage, 

5. What is something you’ve always wanted to write?

A Witch’s Memory is something I’ve wanted to write for the longest time, but other projects I think about a lot:

A whimsical magic in a completely different world. A Witch’s Memory is only a different version of our modern world, one where magic is normalized like science and technology. I want to write something in a fantasy world that completely turns everything we know upside down, with climates and natural environments only from our wildest dreams and an era that is only partially recognizable in its fashion and technology, pulling from every era into a wonderful cluster of confusion and fascination.

Soft-fantasy novel set in the 1990′s with 90′s era technology, libraries and librarian aesthetic, dragons, witches, 

Most recently I’ve also been playing with the idea of a steampunk royalty story with a romance plot.

6. Do you make playlists for your WIP ideas?

Yes, and they usually either a “if this book was a movie this would be its soundtrack with this song for this specific scene” or it’s a “this would be this character’s personal playlist of favorite songs”. Anna, Ulric, and Felix have their own playlists.

7. When you’re having trouble writing, how do you inspire yourself?

I also make a pinterest folder for my WIP ideas, and A Witch’s Memory has its own board for its world building as well as a board for Anna, Ulric, and Felix. I look at that when I’m stuck and don’t know how to start or continue a scene.

If I’m drafting, I look back at my outline and work through what I have planned. Sometimes I have to deviate from the outline a little and figure out a way to reconnect back, or alter it altogether. 

If I’m very stuck I go back to other works of fiction that have inspired me in the past, specific for that story. That includes rewatching them, rereading them, listening to soundtracks or looking at fan art.

I get out of the house and spend some time with a friend. My friend (A) and I usually work through a story problem by talking it out. (K) usually distracts me and takes me to random places. Sometimes I call or message (C) because she lives far away and we talk. They all help.

8. Where do your WIP ideas typically come from?

“I really like this story, but I kind of wish it went differently, involved these tropes, had this world building, had these characters, etc.”

Nothing is really original, no matter how far back in fiction you go. Everything is inspired from something else, so for me what I do is find the aspects of fiction I love most and see what I would do with them personally.

Example: witches are cool, but if it takes place in the modern world then it has to be a secret and humans can never know, but if it takes place in a hard-fantasy historical world then everyone knows about magic and has access to it somehow. - - - > And it becomes the whole premise for this world I built

Example: why do werewolves hate being werewolves? And why must they blackout during a full moon and go total beast? And they’re either always alone or there’s this whole alpha pack thing which isn’t technically true of real wolves - - - > and it becomes a thing that werewolves are proud of being werewolves, they easily form bonds and friendships with other people, even non-werewolves, and when the full moon comes around werewolves run in a group as a fun activity, something they enjoy

Example: Amnesia makes for an interesting story, but it’s not very realistic when you know actual medical stuff, and it’s always one-sided so people are always trying to make their loved one remember or trying to “reconnect” in the exact same way they did before - - - > Which lead me to amnesia through magic curse and mutual loss of memory, forgetting the entire friendship, so now they genuinely start from scratch

Example: Long distant pen-pals is a popular trope, especially since the invention of the internet, but every time I see it, it involves people who have met in real life even if it was only for a moment and they never knew it / didn’t give each other enough information to figure it out. - - - > It turns into, they couldn’t possibly have known each other before, they live in different parts of the world, but they want to meet one day, and then by a twist of fate (or meddling) they do meet

9. If your OC was a breakfast food, what would they be?

Felix: unsweetend English Breakfast tea and jam toast: When I say jam toast, I mean his humor is a little dry like toast, but he’s still enjoyable company, sweet if he wants to be. He can also be a little bitter sometimes, the kind of person you need to know a little bit before you develop a taste for it

Anna: Earl Grey tea and honey on an English Muffin: she’s calming company but complex like the flavor of earl grey tea. As for the English Muffin, it’s a joke that she’s English-adjacent, not actually British. She spent her first eight years in America and then lived in the U.K. with Felix’s family for the next eight until their family moved to America. Her accent is slightly changed and she uses some U.K. English vocab instead of American English, so most people think she’s British. English muffins aren’t actually English. They’re an American breakfast food based on crumpets. 

Ulric: A cinnamon roll and cold butter. This is a weird one. I think if you met Ulric and got to know him, he’d be someone you’d want to protect. He’s polite, kind, and shy. Life keeps throwing him lemons (literally throwing, between his emotionally abusive father and suddenly being blind, dealing with new anxiety/depression after going blind, etc) but Ulric’s just trying to do his best. Absolute cinnamon roll. But that’s not a something he’d let you see. Most people don’t know about that part of his life, so he’s like cold butter. He’s friendly but it takes a while for him to warm up and soften those walls to let you in.

Mason (Ulric’s best friend, who I must add): sweetened coffee - very energetic and hyper, a sweetheart of a friend. There’s no coffee-bitterness, by this I mean that it’s easy to enjoy his friendship, you don’t need to develop a taste for it like you do with black coffee. (Mason is also a precious cinnamon roll if you ask me)

10. Explain one of your WIP ideas in the most ridiculous way possible?

I’m going to do this AO3 tagging system style

A Witch’s Memory

Multi, T, Graphic Depictions of Violence

Anna St. Claire & Ulric Matthews, Anna St. Claire & Felix Robbins, Felix Robbins & Ulric Matthews, Felix Robbins/Hayden Watson

Anna St. Claire, Ulric Matthews, Felix Robbins, Mason Shepherd, Elmsley St. Claire, Veronica St. Claire, Hayden Watson, Katarina Matthews, Tobias Matthews, 

Memory Curse, Amnesia, Pen-Pals, Found Family, Adoptive Family, Slow Burn Friendship, Enemies to Friends, Platonic Soulmates, M/M Slow Burn Romance

Disability, Blind Character, Bisexual Character, Three Bi Disasters, Trans Character, Elmsley is trans, Elmsley is a Good Uncle, Tobias Matthew’s Terrible Parenting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Emotional Abuse

Magic, Witches, Werewolves, Werewolf Ulric, Witch Anna, Witch Felix,

Graphic Violence is only in two scenes, two different characters get punched, and there’s some blood

Tagging: @snowblossim @thephantomofwriting @novel-scribe @the-moving-finger-writes @sapphoopages @owlsofstarlight  @mayvinwrites @belles-library @maggie-wolff-writes @thewritingpirate

Your Ten Questions:

1. What’s your favorite trope to read but not to write? Or vice versa, to write but not read?

2. Some of your favorite aesthetics?

3. Ideal writing environment? (Time, place, sound, drink/snacks)

4. What’s your favorite side character in your WIP?

5. How would your OCs interact with your favorite characters from other works?

6. An embarrassing fact about your OC that they would never tell anyone?

7. What book do you think should be made into a movie?

8. What’s the last mean thing you did to your OCs?

9. Write an Incorrect Quotes post between your OCs

10. I’m stealing from emdop too! Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible?

[rational-mastermind]

It Doesn’t Hurt

Ch 4/5

--

 Siobhan was waiting patiently by the car, took one look at me, and instantly became concerned.

 “Oh no.. What’s wrong?”

 “Nothing.” I got in the car. “We’re heading back to the shop.”

 She frowned a moment then came and sat beside me. We took off for the shop and as it should be expected when one drives through England, the traffic made it difficult to progress. It was turning out to be a rather long, frustrating day.

 My mind wouldn’t let go of what Claire implied, and while granted I was sore that the one person in the office who didn’t talk about what I did even started to mention it so casually, what really hurt was how it was such a clear and distinct reasoning for my past actions that have led me to where I am today.

 I kept my distance from others, shutting them out, because I was the one who killed AJ.

 I have this horrible, crummy, bloody job because I was the one who killed AJ.

 I couldn’t sleep a single wink at night because I was the one who killed AJ.

 I went to the Clanbronwyn Hotel because I was the one who killed AJ.

 I couldn’t move on with my life, because I was the one who killed AJ.

 I was dumb for thinking about having any kind of a relationship after this mission. After this is over, she’ll be running her own store and going to college, while I’ll still be hunting down poltergeists and fending off the anxiety and insanity that threatens to consume my mind, day after day, night after night.

 It didn’t matter if she actually did like me.

 It didn’t matter if I actually liked her.

 Because I was the one who killed AJ.

 I entered Defoe Manor, got too close to the idol, and killed Andrew Jarvis and Philip Harty and from that alone, my life can neither progress nor reset. If I hadn’t been so careless, they would still be alive. Simone would still be alive. Abed would be too.

 But that can’t be.

 Because I was the one who killed AJ

 And it hurts.

 “TRILBY.”

 Like pulling my head out of the dark waters, Siobhan’s voice cut through my thoughts and I actually jumped in my seat. I looked back at her and she was worried.

 “What’s wrong?”

 “Nothing.” I lied and realized I may have said so a little too fast because obviously Siobhan didn’t buy it.

 “Bull. Now really, what’s wrong?”

 I sighed and rubbed my tired eyes.

 “I’ve just been having a long day.” I explained. “I mean, I started it with being accused of taking part in a masochistic cult. I think that really sat the tone beautifully for my whole day.”

 “Oh..” she deflated a little, and I could see the guilt sweep over her face. “...That was pretty harsh of me, wasn’t it?”

 “I don’t blame you. You really don’t know anything about me.”

 There was a moment of silence before Siobhan hesitantly began.

 “I could... try to get to know you.” she offered.

 “Siobhan I’m currently in the process of not wanting to know me.” I said flatly. “I’m not a part of a cult, mind you, but I do have a darker history and I’m not one for indulging in it.”

 “I wouldn’t judge you, honestly!” she persisted. “I’ve been wanting to get to know you, Trilby. The real you. The you behind the hat.”

 “Siobhan...” I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time today.

 “I know we all have troubles in our past, and decisions we probably regret, but that doesn’t make you a bad person. Even when I was skeptical of you earlier, I didn’t really think you could be so bad.” she smiled a bit and I internally cringed at her next words. “Abed really liked you too, and he was a pretty good judge of character. He wouldn’t have liked you if you were anything too far gone.”

 Apparently today I was meant to wallow in my guilt and regret. Abed was such a good hearted and foolish man. I honestly wasn’t sure if he was fully aware of any evils in this world until I came along and ruined it, like everything else.

 My mind was pulled back to when I last saw the man alive. How depressed he looked.

 “You took one companion of mine away and now you want another.”

 At the time I was somewhat puzzled by his words, too focused on finding out what was going on to really pay attention, that only now do I realize what he was thinking before his death. I had gone looking for Siobhan, and spoke with her privately in her room. She had passed out on the bed. Of course I knew what had really happened, but looking at it, from Abed’s perspective, I grimaced. He must’ve felt abandoned. Alone. Forgotten.

 It hurts.

 “I really don’t think Abed thought of me so highly.” I said, unable to mask my own depression. “And honestly, Siobhan? I know you’re trying to help but it’s not working. After all, if it wasn’t for me, he would still be alive, wouldn’t he?”

 “Well what do you mean?”

 “If I had kept a closer eye on you two, if I had just told either of you what was really going on.. Maybe you would’ve been able to escape the hotel. Maybe Abed would’ve still been alive if it weren’t for me.” I shrugged helplessly.

 “Trilby, you’re not responsible for Abed’s death.” Siobhan sighed a little. “It’s not your fault.”

 “What if it is? What if I did something- anything- differently?”

 It hurts

 “Woulda-coulda-shoulda.” Siobhan replied with a shrug of her own. “It’s like I said last month. People die. You can’t feel responsible for it forever. Is this what’s been bothering you?”

 “A million things have been bothering me, but since that’s the current subject, yes. It was all such a blur… I don’t know, maybe there was something I could’ve done. Maybe I didn’t do my best.”

 It hurts.

 “You can’t help that some tall demon was going around and hurting innocent people. That wasn’t your doing.”

 “Then why do I feel responsible?!” I snapped and then groaned. “I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t yell like that.”

 It hurts.

 “Trilby.. You’re the only one beating yourself up over it.”

 “No I’m not.”

 “You’re the only one baring this responsibility. No one else blames you but you!”

 “Because it’s my fault.” I said through gritted teeth.

 IT HURTS.

 “IT’S. NOT. YOUR. FAULT.” she said, adamantly.

 I suddenly slammed on the brakes, as we have arrived at our destination. I was in a hurry to leave the car.

 IT HURTS.

 “And what if it is?” I growled. “Maybe it is my fault! Maybe I should feel responsible for what happened!”

 IT HURTS.

 I could hear Siobhan slam the door and follow after me, clearly growing frustrated.

 “Then what good would that do?” she asked as we made our way into the store. “All you’re going to do is make yourself feel horrible!”

 “I do feel horrible!”

 “Of course you do!”

 “It hurts!”

“Then why let it hurt?!”

 I finally whipped around and raised my voice, all of my frustration and anxiety rearing its ugly head as I snapped.

 “BECAUSE I’M THE ONE WHO KILLED AJ!”

 Before I realized how stupid I was being, the shop shook once more and the wails of the undead immediately filled our ears. Things began to fly off the shelves again, swirling around us. Several shadows became more and more visible, joining in the madness. Siobhan accidentally bumped into me, trying to dodge a flying typewriter.

 “Siobhan, look out!” I quickly ducked out of the way of a launched rotary phone.

 I looked up and saw one semi-transparent form step out from among the madness. He had a broom mustache and a scar that traced down from the crown of his head over his eye. His entire torso was missing, jagged pieces of ribs sticking out under the folds of his clothes. Judging by the vague shapes that made up his uniform and the massive size and build he carried himself with, I was only left with one guess.

 Chief Brutus J. Ustyss.

 I carefully held Siobhan at arm’s length, knowing full well what was about to happen next.

 He came charging, a fist flying. I managed to duck out of the way. Without fully thinking, I tried throwing a punch myself, knowing full well that I’m by no means a fighter, but whether I knew how to fight or not, it wouldn’t have mattered.

 Because my hand passed right through his body, suddenly covered in icy coldness.

 “Oh shit.”

 A large fist was met with my jaw and I hit the floor, only dimly aware of Siobhan’s scream in fear.

 I tried to shake my head clear of the throbbing pain, and looked up only to find Brutus about to pound both fists into me at once. I rolled out of the way, brushing up against the icy cold barrier countless other ghosts have created for us. Immediately hands began to grab at me and tried to pull me in, digging claws into my shirt, but I tore away.

 A saw a china tea set come flying at me and dodged it in time, narrowly avoiding the shattered remains of a broken saucer.

 Despite my best efforts, I knew I couldn’t keep dodging him, nor the flying debris of the antique shop, forever. And there was no time to create a banishment ring.

 My brain was scrambling, trying desperately to find a solution to this when suddenly I hear Siobhan shout.

 “Trilby look out!”

 I looked, barely had time to register the grandfather clock that was flying at us before I felt Siobhan’s body colliding with mine. There was a loud bang, a sharp pain in the back of my head, and suddenly the world was black and still and silent.

 But I wasn’t knocked out.

 Pain throbbed through out my head while my eyes adjusted to the scare light that crept through the cracks. I could hear Siobhan and myself wheeze, trying to regain our breaths.

 “Trilby, you alright?”

 “I think so.. You?”

 “I’m alright. I… I think the ghost stopped.”

 I realized I was pressed back against something wooden, and when I tried to stand up straight, my head hit some kinda pole. I tried to feel out my surroundings.

 “Where are…?”

 “I think we’re in one of the old wardrobes.” Siobhan answered, I could hear her feeling things out as well. There was a moment of rattling. “Oh.. Ohhhhhh nooo..”

 I didn’t like the sound of that groan.

 “What?”

 “I think this is that one that locks automatically...”

 All I could do was stare at Siobhan through the darkness. A comical look of disbelief if she could see it.

 “...And where’s the key?”

 “...behind my desk... On a ring with a bunch more.”

 I sighed and allowed my head to drop against the apparent door in front of me.

 “Can today be any worse?”

 “Well.. I think that ghost stopped. Maybe if you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind?”

 “Hurrah. Now he won’t murder me.”

 “Well I could tell you how it could be better.”

 “And pray tell, what would that be, Ms. O’Malley?”

 “You could start by telling me what the hell’s been going on with you?”

 I heaved a great sigh, far too exhausted and frustrated for this round-about again.

 “I’m just.. I’m not having a good day, Siobhan..”

 “No shit, Sherlock.” she snapped back at me and then sighed. “Trilby, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

 I huffed and rolled my eyes. I was decidedly fed up with everything at this point.

 “Fine, you want to know what’s wrong? Everything is piling up on me right now and I can’t reasonably deal with any of it!” I began to vent. “I went to talk with Claire and apparently the Chief is the only one who’s keeping all the other ghosts, who knows how many, at bay! So I couldn’t do anything in that fight, even if I wanted to! “Then talking further along with Claire, I’m led to believe that apparently I get all the worst jobs my employers have to offer because I’m the one held responsible for the death of one of their operatives, who wasn’t exactly the best at his job anyway if he was going to be murdered by a retarded child’s ghost! If I hadn’t stepped foot in that manor, my life would be a hell of a lot more sane than it already is! I wouldn’t have blood on my hands! I wouldn’t have gone to that forsaken hotel! I wouldn’t be responsible for the death of so many innocent people!”

 “Trilby! Trilby, you’re NOT responsible for anyone’s deaths!”

 I would never admit it to her, but I could feel hot tears sting in my eyes and I fought to keep them from spilling. My body shook. I felt so torn apart. I felt her hands gently rest on my shoulders, guiding me closer to her.

 “But I’m the one who killed-”

 “It wasn’t you.” Siobhan interrupted me, her voice kept low and soothing. “It was the ghost, wasn’t it? The ghost of Defoe Manor?”

 “Well.. Yes..”

 “It used your hands.. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t your fault.”

 I could feel her gently guiding me until our foreheads touched.

 “Trilby.. Look at me.”

 I hesitated, but finally complied. I looked up and saw her dark green eyes, shimmering back at me. The light between the cracks barely catching in them enough to reflect the slight hues of brown that made it sparkle. She was concerned. I couldn’t blame her. But suddenly I couldn’t think of any way to string together the proper words to tell her all the awful things I was feeling. The thoughts that had been plaguing me for days. Weeks.

 “It was never your fault.” she repeated.

 I knew a part of me deep down wanted to believe it so fervently and I leaned more into her, as if somehow being closer would make it more true.

 “Siobhan..” the other part of me still felt hesitant. Still held doubt. I wanted to get as much of it cleared out as I could. “Why do you care so much? What does it matter to you how I feel? It’s.. Not like we’ll ever see each other after this.”

 “We could..” she offered with a small smile. “Whenever we have free time. You could drop by. Weekends. After hours. We could go for walks. Sit on the couch with tea. Talk... Read.... Or..”

 And suddenly, without thinking, our lips met.

 I couldn’t tell who dove in first, but before I could fully think it through, we were kissing. Maybe it was the adrenaline from the fight. Maybe it was something else. My mind tried to tell me how inappropriate and stupid this was. The rest of me told it to shut up. Too desperate to finally feel something good. To just have this one nice thing to myself.

 Our lips brushed against each other and hers were just as soft as I thought they were last night. Gentle hands raked through my hair and I was vaguely aware that my hat had fallen off outside the wardrobe. I carefully pulled Siobhan closer as we continued. Her arms wrapped around me.

 We stopped for a moment to breathe, my brain was scrambling to understand why or what we were doing, but all I could really focus on was how warm her cheeks felt, so close to mine, and how she smelled like apple cider.

 This time she kissed first, but it didn’t really matter. All that did matter was the growing warmth between us as we continued. My hands began exploring her, the same as hers did me.. I was fond in discovering how soft her glistening red hair felt, gliding between my fingers. Shivers raced up my spine in time with her gentle hands.

 It was exciting, sweet, and passionate, and for a while, the world outside of these closed doors was left behind us, for the sake of this moment. Focusing solely on the way she felt against me. The way she shivered under my touch, her soft lips pressing feverishly to mine.

 The way my heart swelled and my head made light and dizzy was almost as intoxicating as the way she giggled and sighed as my lips traced up along her jaw and down her neck.

 I was met with a nose full of her green turtleneck and the dusty smell of old books. I rolled my eyes a little, knowing this simply wouldn’t do, and pulled it away only to kiss at the silky softness underneath. This, of course, was rewarded with an admittedly adorable squeak.

 “Trilby! how ungentlemanly of you.” Siobhan teasingly scolded.

 I chuckled, a little breathless myself, and could feel my face grow warm.

 “W-Well..”

 She giggled and pulled away, leaving me wanting for a moment. Before I knew what she was up to, she was back in my arms, sans sweater. The warmth in my cheeks began to spread to my ears as I was made well aware what difference a tank top or a sweater makes. And before I could really focus more on that, she was returning the favor, sparking new waves of shuddering delight and effectively plunging my brain into a heady fog, in which I was happy to leave it.

 Eventually at some point my waistcoat made friends with her sweater, tangled under our feet. But I couldn’t care less. All I could really focus on was where her lips traveled, as they continued their own exploration further down, past my neck, whilst mine were buried deep in her red hair, breathing in her soft and sweet scent that reminded me of autumn evenings.

 Her hands traveled lower still and whilst mine felt out the hemline of her tank top and the smooth arch of her back as she leaned close into me.

 I was so caught up in the way everything felt that I had no earthly idea what was going on outside of the wardrobe. Time was illusory. That is, until I suddenly ran out of it.

 “Trilby! It wasn’t your fault!” Claire’s voice suddenly pierced the moment, leaving it to die quickly and painfully.

 Siobhan and I looked at each other only a moment before I quickly bent, to the best of my abilities in the cramped space, to grab my waistcoat and began cleaning myself up.

 I stood up and was sharply reminded of the coat hanger railing above my head.

 “Ow!” I tried not to bump the walls too much either, suddenly finding the small space to be far too cramped for me to move around in.

 “Trilby? Where are- OH.” Claire’s voice indicated she knew a little too much.

 “Claire, it’s not what you’re thinking!” I quickly replied, face burning hotter than before. It didn’t help that I had to button up my shirt as well. “It was the ghost! He- W-we-”

 “Should I uh… just let you two…?”

 “No! No, no, Claire, listen, we really should get out of here.” I said, trying to ignore the fact that Siobhan still had her arms wrapped around me and trying to keep a steady voice. “This thing is locked. Th-the key should be behind the counter.”

 I felt Siobhan kiss at my collarbone and fought with all my will to not let my voice crack. I tried pushing her off so I could finish buttoning up.

 “Siobhan, stop it.” I hissed at her, as quietly as I could.

 “It’ll take her a while to find those keys. We have a few minutes.” she whispered, barely audible, back. I could feel her grinning against me and I shuddered with conflicting emotions.

 “Found them!” Claire’s voice rang out cheerfully, suddenly bringing everything to a screeching halt.

 We looked at each other for only half a second before Siobhan finally started rushing to pull on her sweater while I tried to straighten myself out.

 By the time Claire opened the wardrobe, Siobhan and I were standing apart from each other. I tried to look composed and stepped out with slight cough. Claire, obviously, was waiting for me with a mischievous grin.

 “Hi, Claire. Thanks for that.” I said.

 “So, were you two um… Having fun?” she asked, playfully.

 “Nothing happened.” I said flatly.

 Claire only had to look me up and down before I caught on and corrected any mistakes. Claire scooped up my hat from the floor and offered it to me.

 “Right, so nothing happened.” she teased.

 “NOTHING.” I hissed and snatched it away from her.

 “Aaannnyway.. so what DID happen?” she asked.

 “Trilby accidentally uh.. Triggered the ghost again.” Siobhan explained, fixing up her ponytail. I couldn’t help but also notice how flushed her cheeks were.

 I looked over and saw the grandfather clock that flew at us earlier. I quickly moved to stand it back up, finding only the glass broken. Everything else seemed fine. Siobhan sighed with some relief.

 “I don’t think Brutus is going to want to talk about leaving peacefully.” I surmised. “Even if we do pull rank on him.”

 “Hm.. Then what should we do?” Claire asked. “Banishing circle?”

 I looked around the antique shop and sighed. It was cluttered and messy and made worse by the previous skirmish.

 “That could get some, but not all the ghosts.” I guessed to the best of my ability. “And that’s if we can clear the floor well enough for a ritual, to start with. We would get Brutus.”

 “But then how do we guarantee exorcising all of the ghosts under his control?” Siobhan asked.

 I looked at the tears in my shirt’s sleeve, remembering how eager and desperate the others were to get a hold of me. Most of them were likely violent and dangerous criminals.

 “Well.. We could try a big one.” I offered.

 “The counter’s in the way.” Claire gestured towards it. “And some would probably still escape anyway. We need to get them all.”

 I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. This day was certainly becoming taxing. Claire tapped her foot and began pacing back and forth.

 “Well maybe we can try, like.. A lot of them?” Siobhan was asking. “We can clear the floor.. It’d… Mean moving everything downstairs, but we could make more space.. And cover the area?”

 “And if they try to escape?” Claire argued. “They could try to leave the shop. The plot’s supposed to cover the block, right?”

 “Well it starts at the sidewalk and runs from one end of the street to the other, and covers the shops behind this one on the other side of the street.”

 “Right, so the ghosts could move around on any part of that land. They’re only kept here because the basement is Death Row. It’s where Brutus would’ve dragged me had he successfully killed me.” I throw out.

 “Right. That’s also why he stopped when I dragged you out the first time.” Siobhan explained, giving me a glance. “As soon as you left the plot, he stopped. Then Claire and I took you upstairs.’

 “So we’d have a better chance of getting them all if we were to cover not just the floor, but the walls and ceiling as well.” I said.

 “But then we still need to lure them out.” Claire intoned. 

 “What do you mean?” Siobhan asked.

 “I mean we can’t just wait for the ghosts to wander in on their own. Someone would have to invoke them. But since this guy’s obviously violent, it’d be dangerous. And he disappears as soon as the criminals are either dead or gone.”

 “So we need a way to keep the bait safe and stay here in the store while everything is going on…”

 After a moment of thought, we all came to the same conclusion.

 “Salt ring.”

 After that, it was agreed that I would be bait. Claire was apparently too clean for the job and I wasn’t about to risk Siobhan’s health. We spent the day clearing out the shop and Claire offered to pick up chalk for tomorrow.

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Juliet Dies in This Chapter Three: Depression

Claire isn’t the only one that Jim mourns.

So this chapter is where things start to get dark. And, like, not just “oh no Claire is dead” dark. SPOILERS/TRIGGER WARNING: while no one attempts to commit suicide, it is discussed.

AO3

FFN

Jim sat at the edge of the cave. The sun was rising, and Jim could almost feel the warmth it gave. It was like a phantom touch, so near and yet so very far. It was so close to him, and he had to fight the urge to try and touch it. All he could do is watch as it lit up the blades of grass.

There were footsteps behind him, but Jim didn’t want to let his view of the day go. Not yet.

“Master Jim,” Blinky said in an odd voice. It sounded like he was trying to plead but still be steadying. And of course, there was mournfulness.

With all that had happened, it was impossible not to mourn.

“Yeah, Blink?” Jim asked, finally tearing himself away from the sun. “Something wrong?”

Jim hoped Blinky would understand that he was excluding the fact that with three members of their group being gone, one forever, everything was wrong. Not to mention, they had left behind Arcadia. They had left it in good hands, but they had left behind loved ones.

Blinky looked so scared, but why? What had happened now?

Who else did they have to lose?

“Please come away from the sun,” Blinky said. He gripped his staff with three hands, ever shifting them along its handle. Jim wasn’t sure if it was out of worry, or the fact that the grip would feel wrong without the fourth hand. Jim’s grip on things often felt wrong without the tenth finger, after all.

“Sure,” Jim said, though the act of getting up was a difficult task.

Blinky looked relieved by the fact that Jim was so willing to go further into the darkness. He dropped his staff and hugged Jim.

“Bagdwella said you looked like you were waiting for the sun,” Blinky said, and he sounded like he was on the edge of tears. “Master Jim, if there’s anything you need or want to talk to me about, please say it.”

It took Jim a minute to realize what “waiting for the sun” would mean to a species that was killed by daylight. Who else did they have to lose? Blinky must have feared that Jim himself was the answer to that question.

“I’m, I’m not that bad,” Jim said, immediately cursing himself inwardly. Not that bad implied that things were bad but could be worse. And yeah, Jim had mental health issues. He’d had them before he started tenth grade, and after he found the amulet, after he went through the Darklands, those issues had multiplied. But he wasn’t suicidal, or at least, he didn’t think he was outside of occasionally pulling risky stunts in battle. Besides, Blinky already had enough on his plate without worrying about Jim, what with leading a troll migration and adjusting to his lost hand.

The same troll who had built Draal’s prosthetic – and Deya, thinking about Draal hurt – wanted to build a prosthetic hand for Blinky. However, without the magic of the Heartstone she’d have a difficult time forging it. The fact that they were on the move didn’t make it any easier.

Blinky sighed and held Jim tighter. “And for that I’m thankful. I don’t want to lose you.” Too.

Like they had lost Draal.

Like they had lost Claire.

Jim was happy, no, that was a lie. He wasn’t happy, but he was thankful to have his dad with him. But he wanted his best friend, too.

He wanted his girlfriend, and his protector-turned-friend, too, but they were gone.

What had Jim been thinking, having Toby stay in Arcadia? That if Toby stayed behind, Jim could pretend that Claire was happy at home, playing with her baby brother and enjoying time with her family?

There was no pretending that she hadn’t been lost to the Shadow Realm.

Because Toby had stayed behind, AAARRRGGHH!!! had stayed behind with him. Jim could tell that it was taking a toll on Blinky. He didn’t know how to compare it to how Blinky had been when AAARRRGGHH!!! had died, though, because instead of grieving like a normal person, he ran away into another dimension.

Toby would know, but if Toby was here Jim wouldn’t have this problem.

This was all his fault, just like everything else was.

“When I jumped in front of that attack,” Jim said, “I didn’t think…”

“That anyone else would make a similar sacrifice?”

“Do you think I’m what caused her… that I’m why she…”

“No.” Blinky’s voice was firm. “Jim, no one blames you for Claire’s death. Not only were you unconscious, but I doubt there was much you could have done had you been up on your feet.”

“I should have told her I loved her too,” Jim said into Blinky’s shoulder. “Then maybe Claire…”

Blinky’s stump collided into the back of Jim’s head, and he put his arm down with a small apology. A different hand raised to card through Jim’s too-thick hair. “Claire, she was a determined and clever girl. She fought with everything she had. I don’t think you professing your love to her would have changed that, because she knew that you love her. And to her, what she did must have felt like the only option. Don’t blame yourself, Master Jim, and don’t blame Claire. If you want to blame anyone, blame me.”

“No, you tried your best. I know you did,” Jim said. Jim wouldn’t have blamed Blinky even if he still had all four hands.

“And I know that you tried your best, too.”

“I don’t feel like I did.”

“Jim…” Blinky took a deep breath. “Would you rather that Claire was here instead of you?”

Jim didn’t answer. He didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t really want to die, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted Claire back more than he wanted to live his own life as a half-troll. That was so selfish, though. Jim squeezed his eyes tight to keep the tears away.

Blinky pulled away from Jim. Why wouldn’t he? Maybe by now he had figured out that Jim didn’t deserve to be his son, didn’t deserve to be seen as a hero, didn’t deserve to be anything other than a faulty protector.

Blinky grabbed Jim’s chin, and tilted it up. “Master Jim, look at me.”

Through the blurriness of the unshed tears Jim could make out a serious but caring expression.

“We love you, Jim. Your mother and I love you, Tobias and AAARRRGGHH!!! love you. And Claire and Draal, they loved you so very much.”

Jim hadn’t even mentioned Draal; was he that much of an open book?

“They would want you to be happy. To live, and to be happy.”

Jim started to cry.

[spn-meanttobe]

Spn Meant To Be Masterlist - 2009

Here is the roundup of the very first challenge. Please keep in mind, this challenge was ten years ago. Every effort has been made to find current/existing links, but some authors have packed up their work and not allowed it to be shared. Those entries are here to be preserved for posterity, but the download link and title will have a strike-through. Without further ado, this way to the happy endings!

RPS

Title: Better than Cherry Pie Author: mina_rox Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Accountant Keeley Davis has been hired to find out who's been bilking money from the well-respected Bingham Bros. investment firm. To do so, Keeley will have to don a disguise and work closely with tastier-than-homemade-cherry-pie controller Dane Weiss! As Keeley tramps herself up as Dane's personal assistant "Cherry Smith," her calculations start paying off big dividends—like when she serves up a hot plate of Dane à la mode. But as things start to really sizzle, Keeley wonders whether she can keep her eyes on the bottom line…when all she can think of is keeping Dane in her bed? Link to Fic: Better than Cherry Pie

Title: Small Moments Author: hunters_retreat Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Ten year anniversary celebrations weren't something to miss, so Jensen agreed to going to his friend Chris and Steve's week long get away. Only he hadn't expect his partner to go along and demand they leave two days into it. Still, he didn't have to put up with it much longer because they both knew it was over. That was, until they got trapped in a cabin all by themselves and come face to face with themselves, their failing relationship, and the truth they've both refused to see. Link to Fic: Small Moments

Title: I Can Almost See a Skyline Author: poor_choices Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/Misha Summary: Jensen Ackles is the number one surgeon at the most prestigious plastic surgery practice in LA. After a number of threats, his bosses decide to hire him a bodyguard, one Jared Padalecki, who sweeps in and turns his life completely upside down. Link to Fic: I Can Almost See a Skyline 

Title: Sometimes It's Hard to Keep On Running Author: matalinolukaret Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Warnings: Sex, language Summary: Jensen's running from a past he doesn't want to face. Jared's moving on in his life, doing what he can for his daughter. What happens when Jensen stops running away from what he wants, and turns toward his future? Link to Fic: Sometimes It's Hard to Keep on Running   

Title: My New Life is Waiting Author: neros_violin Rating: Adult Pairing: Jensen/Jared Warnings: Past character death Summary: Jared and his daughter Hannah are used to depending only on each other. Their life at the cabin on the lake isn't exciting, but it's safe. Until the night Hannah goes outside, drawn by the soft sounds of a guitar. While Jared is drawn to the music, the guitar player is too close for comfort. But something in music inexorably attracts Jared and his little girl, and they finally reach out to their new neighbor. Jensen seems like the perfect guy, and he is the perfect guy. But like Jared, he has secrets to keep and reasons not to trust. Can they move beyond their pasts to make a life together, away from the isolated shores of the lake? Link to Fic: My New Life is Waiting

Title: Laughing Down Lonely Canyon Author: calamitycrow Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Jared’s entire life centers around the rodeo, until an injury sidelines him for the rest of the season. And then to complicate things more, he gets guardianship of four-year Cody. Meanwhile, world-weary businessman Jensen heads to his Montana ranch to escape the pressure of his life for a couple of weeks. What he’s not expecting is a bout with pneumonia or falling for his foreman’s little brother. Link to Fic: Laughing Down Lonely Canyons 

Title: Pom Poms and Circumstance Author: agt_bush Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Jared/Jensen, brief Jensen/Tom Summary: Jared Padalecki and Chad Michael Murray ditch their friends so they can spend the summer surrounded by beautiful girls at cheer camp. The plan works perfectly until Jared realizes he is falling for the gorgeous, and very male head cheerleader, Jensen. Loosely based on Fired Up. Link to Fic: Pom Poms and Circumstance

Title: What Would Rick Do? Author: gottalovev Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen, minor OMC/OFC and OMC/OMC Warnings: Sex, language Summary: Jared works as a research assistant for Liberty Production but writes sexy columns, The Ten-Minute Seduction about playboy Rick St-Clair, to help pay the bills. When he meets his porn-muse-slash-fantasy-man for real, the gorgeous Jensen Ackles, Jared is almost too nervous to function until he pretends to be his main character. They hit it off, but can they make it work if everything is based on a lie? Link to Fic: What Would Rick Do? 

Title: Chisel Me Down Until I'm Clean Author: orphan_project Rating: Hard R Pairing: Jensen/Jared, implied Jared/Chad, implied Jared/OMC, brief Misha/Jared & Zac Efron/Jared, Jensen/Jeff Warnings: Blow jobs, drug use, gender change, swearing Summary: Jared and Jennifer have been friends for years. All though high school and into adult hood. Yet Jennifer has been going on secret doctor trips since they graduated. Jennifer is gone for a month with her most recent, and when Jared returns to work on the day she's suppose to be back, there's a new man sitting there where she should be. What if there is no one beside you when your soul embarks. What if you simply never knew they were there until this moment in time? Link to Fic: Chisel Me Down Until I'm Clean  

Title: Ripped Apart Author: my_sam_dean Rating: R Pairing: Jared/OFC Warnings: Character death Summary: Jared and Jewel are a happy family with three children until a tornado tears through town. Separated by grief, can they repair their broken home? Link to Fic: Ripped Apart   

Title: Another Start Author: joans23 Rating: soft R Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: This was supposed to be their happily ever after, but life turned out a little differently than they planned. Despite how painful it is, Jared decides to try and reclaim his life and Jensen ... well, Jensen just wants Jared back. Link to Fic: Another Start

Title: Too Far to Care Author: goddamnbatman & karabou Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Warnings: House fire Summary: Jensen was eighteen years old when his family home burned to the ground, taking all but his baby sister with it. Now grown, with a man's responsibilities and a chip on his shoulder a mile wide, he's faced with the last thing he ever expected - a growing attraction to the son of the man responsible for it all. Link to Fic: Too Far to Care 

Title: Nip/Tuck Author: i_o_r_h_a_e_l Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jared/OMC Summary: After an accident that had left his face scarred and killed his boyfriend, Jared never went out or left his mansion. Nor did he intend to have his disfigurement fixed. Until one day he found a plastic surgeon that reminded him a lot of his late boyfriend, and decided that Jensen should come over, without realizing danger looming over their lives. Link to Fic: Nip/Tuck   

Title: The Slow and Steady Rush Author: cookiemonsta Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Warnings: Sexin' and cussin'. You know, the usual. Summary: Jensen spends his days on the family ranch, bitter and lonely after his stint in the air force. When the friendly stranger Jared arrives as the new ranch hand, can Jensen learn to move past his brooding nature and let Jared in? And more importantly, what secret is Jared hiding that could ruin Jensen's family forever? Link to Fic: The Slow and Steady Rush

Title: Tell Me You Love Me Author: juice817 Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Jared has loved his brother Jeff's best friend Jensen for as long as he can remember, but when Jensen turns him down on his 23rd birthday, Jared flees to Corfu in an attempt to get laid and get on with his life - as far away from Jensen as he can get. But Jensen seems to have other ideas... Link to Fic: Tell Me You Love Me 

Title: Cherish Author: breea1 Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Tom/Mike, Steve/Chris Summary: Many years before six boys had sworn they would always be together, despite differing backgrounds and outside pressures, but one summer something happened to change that. Jared, Tom and Steve had eventually left Cherish, Texas to follow their dreams - but not their hearts - and Jensen, Mike and Chris had settled in to make what lives they could for themselves in a town that didn't want them but that they couldn't leave. Now the past is rearing its ugly head and three men are coming home to find answers that had been denied them and to claim the men that they'd never stopped believing belonged with them. Cherish's most beloved sons have been out in the wide world for a long time and they've got a few tricks up their sleeves - and no intention of taking no for any answer this time. Jensen, Mike and Chris - and Cherish - aren't going to know what's hit them! Link to Fic: Cherish   

Title: Awaiting on You Author: saklani2 & myficjournal Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Shy, awkward Jensen Ackles attends his sister’s debut party and is saved from the unwanted advances of Lady Jessica Alba by the dashing Jared Padalecki. He is grateful, especially when Jared makes an effort to befriend him and bring him out of his shell. Little does he suspect that Jared has an agenda of his own. Link to Fic: Awaiting on You 

Title: Save me, I will rescue you Author: trinipedia Rating: R Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Who said you only get one shot at true love? Link to Fic: Save me, I will rescue you   

Title: Never Will Run Smooth Author: kelleigh Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: When he was six, JR Ackles met Jared Anderson—his best friend and future husband. Twenty years later, Jensen meets Jay Padalecki. Link to Fic: Never Will Run Smooth 

Title: You Can't Quantify Love Author: hildigunnur Rating: Hard R Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Jared Padalecki has started a new life as a Ph.D. student, hoping it will help him forget how Jensen Ackles broke his heart. It seems to be working until Jensen shows up where Jared least expects it. Link to Fic: You Can't Quantify Love   

Title: Sunshine and Raindrops Author: the_milky_way Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Jensen is sort of oblivious, Jared a good guy and Mike is just too greedy. Link to Fic: Sunshine and Raindrops 

Title: If You'll Say You're Mine, I'll Say I'm Yours Author: zams Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: At a charity auction, Jensen Ackles wins a date with Jared Padalecki, the head nurse at the county hospital, the winning bid a birthday present from his closest friends. Jensen is shy, but Jared’s dimpled smile and earnest eyes charm him effortlessly, and a simple date leads to more than either expected. Link to Fic: If You'll Say You're Mine, I'll Say I'm Yours

Title: You Can Help Yourself, But Don't Take Too Much Author: withdiamonds Rating: R Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Coming to the rescue of handsome nurse Jared Padalecki when someone tried to murder him wasn't the encounter Dr. Jensen Ackles had in mind when he first set eyes on him. Given that he recognized Jared's attackers, coupled with the chilling death threats, he knew the attack wasn't random. Although Jensen was an expert at covering up his tragic past, clues proved Jared's attack was connected to Jensen's former life. But as much as he wanted the sexy brunet in his bed, Jensen didn't want to admit he was connected in any way to who or what was endangering Jared's life. Will either of them live long enough to pursue their new romance? Link to Fic: You Can Help Yourself, But Don't Take Too Much 

Title: Love and Other Sports Injuries Author: bonspiel Rating: R Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: After a childhood spent moving all over the US and Canada, living with his uncle Jeff, a professional hockey player and then coach, Jensen Ackles tries to avoid hockey whenever possible. Too bad that his hot one night stand turns out not only to be a hockey player, but one coached by his uncle. Jensen came to Kansas City to give a little family moral support, but now he's stuck in the middle of a team going bankrupt, with a defenseman determined to woo him, and worst of all, he doesn't miss his previous staid, hockey-free existence one bit. Link to Fic: Love and Other Sports Injuries   

Title: In the Eye of the Beholder Author: surevesta Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jensen/Danneel, Jared/Sandy Summary: Excerpts from the baby book of Felicity Jaide Ackles. He gained a daughter and lost a wife. He gained a daughter and found a family. Link to Fic: In the Eye of the Beholder  

Title: Where the Heart Is Author: cjmarlowe Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Chicago cop Jensen Ackles returns to his Oklahoma hometown after the death of his father, with his young son in tow and a chip on his shoulder about all things love. But his work isn't so easily left behind, and love isn't so easily dismissed when Jared Padalecki comes back into his life. Link to Fic: Where the Heart Is 

Title: Lost and Found Author: apreludetoanend Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: Jared and Jensen were best friends until an argument tore them apart. When they find each other again, years later, will they become more? Link to Fic: Lost and Found   

Title: Silver Star Author: topaz119 Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jensen/Jeffrey Dean Morgan Summary: As a Texas Ranger, Hayes Keller was used to tough assignments. But protecting Taylor Landis after a recent attack and keeping his professional distance was the most challenging job Hayes had ever faced. Every instinct told him not to let her get under his skin, but sticking by her side--all day and through the hot summer night--was pushing him to the limit. Link to Fic: Silver Star 

Title: Just Over the Horizon Author: starless_riot Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Summary: In order to pay back a favor, Jared Padalecki agrees to spy on rival attorney Jensen Ackles--who suddenly decides to take an international vacation one week before the biggest trial of his career. Jared didn't count on even liking the guy, much less falling into lust with him. When Jared's lies and deceit finally come to light, will Jensen give him a second chance or is their budding romance headed for failure from the start? Link to Fic: Just Over the Horizon   

Supernatural

Title: Alone, Baby, There Ain't No Peace of Mind Author: dreamlittleyo Rating: R Pairing: Sam/Dean Summary: Sam is touched that his sisters have arranged a holiday for him, and he looks forward to some time alone in an isolated cabin on Lake Superior. His only neighbor for miles is the taciturn, if incredibly attractive, Dean Johnson. Sam can't help but be intrigued by this solitary man… and with his warm personality and culinaryy talents, Sam is determined to pick away at the iron padlock around his heart. Link to Fic: Alone, Baby, There Ain't No Peace of Mind 

Title: Two Men, One Face Author: rule_number_7 Rating: PG Pairing: Dean/Jimmy with mentions of Dean/Castiel Summary: Dean is called to Pontiac, Illinois for a hunt and is reunited with Jimmy for the first time since driving him home after Castiel's return to heaven after the war. Despite his efforts to get in and out of town as quickly as possible with as little contact with Jimmy as he can manage, Dean doesn’t seem to be able to avoid the other man. Link to Fic: Two Men, One Face   

Title: The Dare Author: winged_dreams Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Sam/Dean Warnings: Vaguely AU for S1 Summary: Dean’s on a job that takes him to Palo Alto. He’s lonely and the girl at the bar wants to help. Link to Fic: The Dare 

Title: Your Comment is Awaiting Moderation Author: latentfunction Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Sam/Dean, Sam/OCs Summary: Going by the dates on the blog, Sam hadn't even waited a month after the fall-out from Ruby before finding something else to keep secret. Link to Fic: Your Comment is Awaiting Moderation   

Title: Set Me As a Seal Author: dessert_first Rating: PG Pairing: Dean/Castiel Summary: Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death… (Song of Solomon) Link to Fic: Set Me As a Seal

[orionsangel86]

Season 14 Wishlist

Alrighty then! As per the last few season’s, each autumn before the season premier I will write a wishlist of things that hopefully will happen in the coming season, which I will then go through once the season is over.

For those of you curious:

Here is my wishlist for season 12 and here is my season 12 wishlist review

Here is my wishlist for season 13 and here is my season 13 wishlist review

Now as a slight disclaimer I need to stress that this isn’t meta, or me promising anything to happen (since I’m not a showrunner nor psychic) and is purely meant for fun - having said that most of the items on my wishlist are at least somewhat realistic wishes and within the realms (at least in my opinion) of actually happening.

So without further rambling here we go:

A decent arc for Michael!Dean. Yes, we all expect it to only last 3 episodes. which I find deeply disappointing. I would prefer if things are not as they seem and it turns out to last far longer than that.

Scenes inside Dean’s head. Like we got with both Cas and Sam when they were possessed, I really want to know where Michael has got Dean stashed away inside his head - and exactly what kind of experience that is for him. I can think of a whole bunch of different ways that could go - will Michael put Dean through hell? Or will he distract him the way of the Djinn with his idea of heaven? I am extremely excited by this idea and hope they don’t pass on the potential.

The missing scene from 13x23 when Dean said yes to Michael. There was definitely more to that and I hope so much we will see it - though I don’t think this is particularly likely.

Cas’s grief. Obviously. Last year I was all about Dean’s grief arc. This year, I need Cas’s to be just as bad. This is 10 years since the original story. Stopping Michael and changing allegiance to stand with Dean was Cas’s origin story - Remember how he reacted in season 5 when Dean was thinking about saying yes to Michael? Oh ho ho I can’t even begin to imagine how this will affect Cas. I want this to be a mirror of last year, and far worse than season 10. 

Sam’s continued leadership role. Now where I want to see Cas absolutely broken with grief over Dean’s possession, what I think would compliment it perfectly is Sam’s fearsome determination and functional leadership. It would be a great way to show how far the brothers have come to breaking the toxic codependency which has bound them to each other - that Sam is capable of functioning without Dean and without immediately trying to sell his soul or give his life for his brother. 

Sam and Cas working together. One of the things that I really hated about the start of season 10, was that without Dean around, Sam and Cas’s relationship just fell apart, and Sam was made to look pretty much like a douche by the show implying he had kicked Cas out of the bunker and blamed him for breaking his shoulder?!? (I found the whole thing very out of character for Sam but then destiel’s continued refusal to become canon tends to make Sam look occasionally douchey - but that is a meta for another day). Give me Sam and Cas as a team. Supporting each other in their grief and acting like the brothers (in-law) that they are.

Jack and Cas father/son bonding time - I mean I saw the promo and it looks like Jack is gonna be grounded for a little while... >.> but once he has written 100 lines of “I will not suggest killing my dad in front of my father” I think Cas will forgive him. I’d like to see Cas trying to teach Jack human things or mundane tasks with Dean watching them with a fond expression!

Addressing Dean’s abuse trauma - this one has been going around on tumblr recently so I’m latching on to other wonderful meta a bit here, but since last season explored Sam’s Lucifer trauma (and to an extent Cas’s Naomi trauma), it would be fitting if this Michael!Dean arc is followed up with an arc of recovery for Dean, not just from Michael, but from everything he has suffered since the apocalypse.

More seeing “behind the mask” with Dean. I think he has already massively grown into himself and out of his fathers shadow, but I’d just like more examples like with the chick flicks and the cucumber water.

Cas truly breaking free from heaven. Now I think that the ideal situation would be that Cas is the one to fix heaven, and that he leaves the angels by choice, and with them all respecting him and being thankful to him. But Cas needs to start to break free from that duty and obligation that he still feels to heaven. Even in season 13 he carried that guilt, and whilst this is more endgame stuff, I desperately want to see more progress on this. 

More hints towards Cas desiring human things and human feelings and basically desiring humanity for himself (no jokes guys, this time I DON’T mean Dean). I am a staunch human!Cas endgame girl after all. The show spent a lot of time in season 9 and 10 building on this for Cas and then it went a bit quiet. I’d like to see those threads picked up again.

In fact, when it comes to Cas, how about he starts answering some of those hundreds of unanswered questions that have been thrown at him since Carver era? How about he finds his place, where he belongs and AS WHAT in general? Cas, you have a home now and a family. Stop lingering in doorways. 

Sam showing us more of his personality. I think now that his Lucifer trauma has been somewhat addressed, Sam should be a bit lighter and more carefree. I’d like to know some more about him other than his obsession with serial killers which is frankly a worrying hobby Sam!

Mary and Cas bonding - in fact I just want to see all of the rest of Dean’s family bonding with Cas more. I want more knowing looks from Mary and even a conversation about the topic - oh wouldn’t that be a dream!

Dean coming out of the closet. Yes yes I know I know. Every year... But it is 20gayteen and next year is 20BITEEN and dammit the world is full of rainbows right now - Bert and Ernie made it official... Why can’t Dean Winchester? I’m totally cool with someone slipping THIS to Dabb. I won’t even ask for credit. ;)

Last year I wanted Sam to build on his relationships outside of Dean and we did pretty well last year with that. But of course, I want more. Maybe some Sam x Rowena? I’m game. 

On that note WITCH!SAM. I am still a huge lover of Sam practicing magick. It’s a story line with so much potential.

More badass ladies kicking ass. Aww man we were kinda blessed with this last year weren’t we? Keep it up show. Please keep it up.

Billie continuing to play a large role as Death. I find her captivating and want more.

Wayward Sisters returning. It still hurts, but we need to know what happens next.

JODY AND CAS NEED TO MEET GODDAMMIT. Also I want Cas to reunite with Claire again.

As per last year: The return of the mixtape. BRING BACK THE MIXTAPE (yup I’m gonna wish for it until I get it).

Please dress Cas up. The closest we got last year was the cowboy hat and the dreadful nazi uniform of AU Cas. Why can’t we have him in plaid? PLEASE.

Absolutely no Lucifer, Lucifer vessel or any hint of Mark Pellegrino. Plus no Kentucky fried chicken pantomime villains either. I’ll be happy if season 14 is free from this nonsense.

Saving the best for last, what do I always wish for above all else? You guessed it - DESTIEL. Do I want it to be canon? Well yes eventually of course. But in season 14 my wish is for their story to continue as it did in early season 13. More obvious destiel content, more of destiel built into the narrative and ideally, made explicit. A love confession? Even if only to a third party? That is undeniably romantic. Zero “no homo’s” would be nice. I just wish for further development on the destiel narrative. That is all. 

As always feel free to add to this with your own wishes! 

BRING ON SEASON 14!! :D

[archaeopter-ace]

The Girl in the Mirror

Day 3 - Mirror or Masquerade @talesofarcadiafemslashweek​ Aja/Shannon (Shanaja) wordcount: ~2k Rated: PG

(Quick note: the reason Aja uses she/her for herself and he/him for Krel is an artifact of imperfect translation. Akiridians don’t have genders as we’d understand them, so their use of gendered terms like ‘brother’ and ‘sister’ really just reflect that the Akiridian language has more than one word for ‘sibling,’ and that Aja and Krel use different terms for each other.)

Aja washed her hands slowly at the row of sinks in the school bathroom - she was not eager to get back to English class. It was, by far, her least favorite class. There were so many assumptions made, so many fundamentals her classmates had spent years learning, comparisons being made to other books that everyone else had already read.

She was forever thankful that she and her brother had Universal Understanding, that the technology had been acquired by her people in trade with the Babelpisces several generations ago. It was essential for interplanetary negotiations, and, now, to analyze eyeball symbolism in The Great Gatsby.

Aja turned off the sink, taking a moment to examine her features in the mirror. She did not know when she would get used to her fleshy human appearance, but she hoped it would be soon. She poked her nose, moving it from side to side, opened her mouth to look at her teeth. She was a girl now, apparently, whatever that meant.

All she knew for certain was that it meant using certain pronouns and not others. Akiridian pronouns did not, so far as Aja could tell, correspond to gender, but she was still a little unclear on what ‘gender’ was, and had been racking her brains - a funny human idiom - to see if she could think of an Akiridian equivalent.

On Akiridian-5, a person’s pronouns told you a lot about them - their approximate age, social rank, and sometimes even area of expertise. They had over a dozen third-person pronouns, but it was easy to know which one to use because they also had a over a dozen corresponding first-person pronouns. In Arcadia, everyone was “I” this and “I” that - it was honestly one of the most startling things about being human, how the same everyone seemed.

Aja and Krel used the royal pronouns for first born and second born, respectively. Krel had once confided in her that he had toyed with the idea of using an engineer’s pronouns, but ultimately his sense of duty to the crown won out. That, and their parents would have thrown a fit if they had known.

Aja had not told Krel that she sometimes disguised herself and used artisan pronouns when she went to the skeltag pits to watch the fights.

(Neither of them had quite gotten the hang of the new king- and queen-in-waiting pronouns they should now be using.)

Mother had implied that gender was a social rank modifier when she said that Aja would be overlooked if she were a girl - Aja had, at the time, assumed it meant something like the suzinx, those who moved unobtrusively through the palace - but Aja was unsure how true that was since Krel was less girl than she was but he was more ignored. (Possibly Aja was just exceptionally bad at blending in and lying low.)

Aja had yet to reliably identify who was and was not a girl in daily life. At first she thought being a girl had to do with clothes, but she had given up on that idea after it turned up so many false negatives. It also had nothing to do with eye color or hair color or how much time they spent talking or whether they liked burritos.

Being a girl seemed to be positively correlated with hair length quite strongly, so that was her current working theory: the longer someone’s hair follicles, the more girl they were.

Aja had the longest hair of anyone she knew; she supposed that made her a full girl. Mary was a close second - 90% girl, maybe? Her best guess was that Krel was at least half girl, about the same as Claire. Aja had been momentarily stymied by the fact that Claire was apparently considered a girl while Krel was not, since both had shoulder-length hair, but then she realized that all the clips Claire added to her hair probably increased her girl quotient.

Aja was startled from her introspection by the sound of rushing water behind her. Shannon stepped out of a stall and blinked at Aja, offering her a tentative grin, before she moved over to the row of sinks.

(Splitting hairs into clumps seemed to have a similar effect as adding clips, because Shannon’s hair looked like it might be shorter than Krel’s but she was also a girl.)

She looked on in curiosity as the other girl washed her hands - Aja quickly realized that she’d forgotten to use any soap, and hurried to correct her mistake, washing her hands a second time while carefully imitating the human’s motions.

“Oh!” A flash of color had caught her eye, and she abandoned her own sink to try to get a better look, reaching over with the intent to pull Shannon’s hands from the faucet for closer inspection - but the girl eeped and jerked her hands away. “Sorry, sorry.” Aja held up her dripping hands in apology. “I was just admiring your colorful fingers. How did you do that?”

“You mean my nail polish?” She finished rinsing the suds off, revealing dark blue fingernails that seemed to shimmer in the light. For some reason her face got very red, like Aja had seen on some humans in gym class when they breathed in and out more than usual. “You, you like it? um.”

“Yes, very much! Very lively!”

“Oh, thanks.” Her face got even redder, and Aja started to grow concerned. “Um, I could - I could do your nails for you sometime? If you want?”

Any color she added to her nails would not survive her transition back to her Akiridian form, but as she thought about what ‘doing her nails’ would entail, going to Shannon’s house and sitting down together, spending time with her, she decided that it didn’t matter to her that the finished product would not last longer than a day.

“Yes, I would like that very much. Thank you! And oh! Maybe you could help me with a problem I have been having. Could you help me understand what a girl is, please?”

“You - you what?” Shannon sputtered, wide-eyed.

“We don’t have girls on Ak - on Cantaloupia. Being here is very confusing. I would like to learn to be a girl, please.”

“Oh, I thought you meant - nevermind what I thought.” Shannon looked at her for a very long time, the red color slowly fading from her face. Aja was not sure what she was looking for, though she had an inkling.

She tried to reassure her, “I know my hair is tucked up right now, but I promise you, it is definitely long enough to be a girl.”

Shannon’s expression seemed to… crumple, and she bit her lip. “Are you just… wanting to learn performative femininity because it’s expected of you?”

“Per-for-wha?”

“Sorry, my mom’s a therapist. I meant, do you just want to learn to act more like a girl because you think it’s expected of you?”

“I am supposed to do what people expect of me, it is part of being in hiding and remaining unnoticed. Ah, I mean…” Aja blanked on trying to explain away her slip-up, decided to ignore it and hope Shannon didn’t notice. “Yes, I suppose it is a little bit what you said. Mostly, I think I am just curious. I have been watching the television and there are many girl things I would like to try - like your fingernails! They are so colorful and lively! I would like to do that.”

Shannon still did not look satisfied with her answer. “You can do girl things without being a girl, that’s okay too.”

Not be a girl? Was that an option? “But I am a girl.”

“But you just told me you don’t know what a girl is!”

“Yes? What is yout point?” Aja was a girl now and that was why she needed to know what one was.

“Do you want to be a girl?”

“I… I don’t know. That is why I want to better understand what a girl is.”

Shannon rubbed at her temples. “Okay, okay, I think I understand. You’re exploring your gender identity, and you want to see if being a girl is right for you; is that about the gist of it?”

Aja did not particularly understand the question, but she thought she could guess at the answer. “Yes?”

Shannon nodded. “Okay, alright. Yeah, I’d be willing to coach you in girl stuff, hang out and show you the ropes. But, um,” she wrung her hands together, “while we’re being open and honest, I want to say that… I’vegotacrushonyou.” She immediately buried her face in her hands. “Argh, why did I say that?! Stupid Shannon, stupid.”

“Oh. Was it mistake to say that?” Aja cocked her head to one side.

Shannon peeked at her between fingers still firmly affixed to her face. “Do you…” she began hesitantly, “know what a crush is?”

Aja waggled her hand back and forth in a so-so gesture she learned from watching her classmates. “I have been observing hu-uh-hyour culture and I know it does not mean flattening someone with a zorkgast. I think,” Aja picked her words with careful deliberation, “it means the same as like-like, yes?”

“Yes.” Shannon removed her hands from her face, and drew herself up to her full height. “Aja. I think you’re cool and amazing, and I like-like you. Do you want to go out with me?”

Aja gave that some thought. She knew what ‘going out’ meant, and dating - she was a princess, she knew all about courtship. She had never expected to have the freedom to do so without political consideration, and it gave her a heady rush.

But it would be selfish to say yes just because she could, just because she wanted to learn what this girl could teach her, just because it sounded like an adventure. She could see that that would not be fair to Shannon.

And yet. Shannon was nice. She told funny jokes, and she carried extra pencils to loan to anyone who needed one. She read a lot of books that looked a lot more interesting than the books they had to read for class. Thinking about it, Aja realized she would like to spend more time with her, find adventure together, learn more about her and hopefully more about herself.

“Shannon,” Aja began, uncertain if she would be able to find the right words. “I like you too. I do not know if I like-like you - there is a lot I do not know, yet - but I am willing to find out, if that is okay.”

Shannon smiled softly at her, “Yeah, yeah that’s okay.” Suddenly she squealed loudly, “EEEEEEIH! Sorry, sorry, I’m just so excited, I couldn’t help it!” She glanced at the door, shifting her weight back and forth. “We’ll talk more later, yeah? We should really be getting back to class - Ms Janeth hates long bathroom breaks, she’s gonna give me the stink eye.”

“I do not think Mr. Clemens is all that fond of them either,” Aja admitted ruefully.

“Here,” Shannon pulled Aja’s arm towards her and fished a blue pen out of her pocket with her other hand. She wrote a string of numbers on the inside of her forearm. “Call me, yeah?” Her face had gone that funny red color again.

“Yes, I will!”

Aja felt lighter than she could remember feeling, the prospect of figuring her life out seemed less like a weight she had to bear and more like journey she could share, and she skipped her way back to class.

(Mr. Clemens was very unhappy with the length of time she had spent in the bathroom, and said she would not get any more bathroom breaks in class for the rest of the week, but Aja did not particularly care)

[jasperlion]

Peace and War — very much based on dialogue/meta

Alm has an interesting view upon war, peace and all of their portents, although most is likely based on how Mycen raised him, more of soldier and leader (empathically/charismatically/but specifically a military one, being a general himself before his discharge) than anything else.

Of the following conversation I’ll highlight the important points on this, since I don’t want to lose the context of said conversation for the sake of what I want to talk about (since it’s important to the topic, too).

Alm: Look, I’ve heard from the others. I know the drought’s made Zofia a scary place. People are starving, and many have turned to thievery and plunder. Brigands loot villages for a mere sack of grain, and soon they’ll be at OUR door! And don’t think I haven’t heard what the Rigelian army has been up to. They’ve been crossing the border for years in violation of the Divine Accord. And with that sacred bond broken, now the Terrors have resurfaced as well… Mycen: …All true. Alm: Zofia is full of innocent people who are looking for help. Please, Grandfather. I want to make a difference in a world bigger than a handful of houses. I want to see all the amazing places you’ve told me about— that Celica told me about! Mycen: Suppose you do set forth with your sword and your wits. So what? Alm: …… Mycen: Will the grand story of your life be how you met the end of a brigand’s axe? Before you dream of changing the world, learn your damned place in it. And no more talk of leaving. -Mycen leaves- Alm: …What’s his problem?! Why teach me to use a sword if you’re not going to let me fight? Every day in this place is exactly the same as the next. I know I’m meant for more than this! But you have to let me find it!

--

Alm: Lukas! Were you able to speak with my grandfather? What did he say? Lukas: He said no. Sir Mycen made it clear he has no intention of joining the Deliverance. Alm: What? But he’s ridiculously strong! He could defeat some stuffy chancellor with his eyes closed! Why would he refuse when so many people are suffering? Lukas: I cannot speak to Sir Mycen’s thinking, but it seems we misplaced our hopes. I’ll have to return to our hideout and bring Sir Clive the ill news. Perhaps Mycen has simply grown too old for the battlefield.

--

Alm: I’m just saying we could do it together. …Fighting, I mean. Not the lance. Grandfather trained all of us, right? Not just me. You already know how to use a sword and a bow. So what’s the problem?

--

Alm: What? They’ve taken a prisoner?! Lukas: Alm? Let’s just be calm and… Alm?! Alm, wait, don’t — Alm: Hold it, you lecherous pigs! Brigand: Huh? Who the hell are you? Alm: Release the woman you’re holding at once, or else

Battle has always been a solution for Alm, but not in the way of savagery or wanting to subjugate, as much as it is to defend. All of his focus on the problems are what he can stop with his physical strength to protect innocents who are suffering. He is not beyond killing those who attack others to meet his goals, but he’s also not beyond parley and seeking from his opponents a more peaceful solution (provided they aren’t already doing something dastardly, like looting, attacking people, kidnapping them, etc). All in all, those are the views of someone growing up under a general, views necessary for someone whom his father and surrogate grandfather both intended to go to war in the first place and fight.

Even so, despite his willingness to draw the blade, he’s not willing to kill on sight (usually) unless weapons are already drawn. He’s rather compassionate to a fault, which stops him from attacking others without question even when he jumps to the wrong conclusion, not unless he has seen them do shit with his own two eyes (that’s pretty much how you strike the match to his temper and killing intent fhkJDKHD).

Alm: Don’t blame yourself, Lukas. Sir Clive sent you to Ram Village. right? You didn’t have a choice. If blame lies with anyone, it’s him. Lukas: …… Alm: Regardless, standing here accomplishes nothing. We need a plan. I assume this Clair person is still alive, right? In that case, we just have to take back the Southern Outpost and save her!

Really, his solutions always involve getting in a scuffle to save someone when he knows they were both wronged and are in trouble. And he jumps to conclusions and is quick to pin blame.

Of note is that instead of ordering a chase of Desaix and the Rigelian detachment with him, he instead decides to stay within the castle. He does this again after Berkut’s mirror smash, ordering his men rest instead of give chase to the fleeing Rigelians. Alm may be focused on battle as a means to an end, but he’s not at all for eliminating all who stood in his path or destroying them. (Gaiden Alm would say different here, lfmao)

It can be a little confusing when Alm has always been about compromise when there’s a misunderstanding — surely the whole thing makes him butt heads with himself... and it does! His argument with Celica is one of the biggest demonstrations of this, but there’s another thing I want to touch first.

Silque: Sir Alm, what did you see? Alm: It was… It was so clear! Silque, it was horrible! Silque: Be calm. What you saw in the vision is not the present. The Mother is either telling you what could be…or what once was. Her power is sight. Alm: So the vision is something that’s going to happen? Silque: Something that COULD happen. If the vision was ill-boding, perhaps it was a sign— a sign that the Mother wishes for you to take action in order to prevent it. Alm: ……

Alm’s reasons to continue pressing forward with the war despite Celica’s pleas is both his will to make a difference and the fact that he was called to do it. Mila sent him a vision that if things continue and he does nothing, all of Zofia will die. Her vision sets him directly at odds with Celica, who recieves one that should Alm continue on his path, he will die (and everyone he loves will die on his way to get there). 

They are directly contrasting visions, albeit Celica’s was likely a warning to get her off the island before the Cantor arrived and likely killed everyone at the priory (you know the one, the one on the lonely boat who implies he was on his way for her). Anyway, this isn’t about that, so fast forward to the argument itself with this in mind: His feeling of duty to see the war through was to save lives, but his focus was not to invade Rigel, merely push them all the way back.

Alm: …Wow. That’s quite the story. I’m trying to picture you swashbuckling pirates, and… Yeah. Just…wow. Celica: I didn’t mean to swashbuckle anyone. It just sort of…happened. But forget all that for the moment. Alm, you aren’t REALLY planning to fight the Rigelian Empire, are you? Alm: Listen, it’s not… It’s not something I chose. They were the ones who attacked us. Celica: But there must be a way to resolve things other than bloodshed, no? Alm: That’s a pretty thought, Celica, but I’m not sure it’s true. If it were, no one would be risking life and limb on the battlefield. Celica: Is it really so naive? Zofians and Rigelians are both people of Valentia, are we not? I know we can reach some kind of accord if we just try! Besides that, I… I just can’t imagine Emperor Rudolf is the monster some claim him to be. Alm: It doesn’t matter what sort of man he is. The Rigelian Empire chose to cross Zofia’s border—that’s a fact. We aim to drive back the invaders. Nothing more. Celica: But why do YOU have to lead this rebellion? Mycen’s grandson or no, you’re neither knight nor noble. So why make yourself a target like this?! Alm: Nrgh… If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear I was speaking to a blue blood. My station doesn’t matter, Celica. I’m here because I was called. I have a duty to perform, and I’ll perform it. No more, and no less. Celica: Oh, Alm… Alm: Do you think I WANTED this fight? This all started because Lima IV went and angered the empire. If you wish to point fingers, point them at the ruler who failed his people. It’s his fault we’re in this mess. Celica: That’s not… Well, so what if it is? Maybe you should go become king if it’s such a damnably easy job! Alm: What? Celica, that’s not— Celica: You’re awfully free with accusations for a boy with no idea what royalty entails! And now that you’re a “hero,” I imagine the throne is next on the list, is that it? Alm: No, it’s not like that at all, Celica! I just want to keep Zofia SAFE! Besides, there’s an heir. A princess of the royal family may have survived. If she turned up and fixed all this, I’d happily return to Ram. You could…come with me, you know? It’d be like old times.

Hoooo, other than Alm and Celica here fanning flames (flames Alm didn’t even know existed, and flames Celica did not realize were alight at all due to Alm’s previous confrontations with nobles (notably Fernand)) this shows a lot of Alm’s thinking. 

While he’s very gung ho and willing to fight for a cause, and even kill for it, he’s not alright with it having to be the solution (even if he’s okay with using it as a solution). Basically, it’s the only way he knows he can help with the problem, and he is fine with doing it, but he’s not fine with having to do it. If there are other options, he’d take them. That’s the biggest takeaway, really, since he doesn’t just speak those thoughts, but acts upon them. Jumping right to the start of Act 4 now...

Alm: …… Clive: A word, Alm? Alm: Clive! Did we receive a reply to our petition? Clive: Unfortunately, no. The empire’s silence is likely its answer. I believe it wise to resign ourselves. Emperor Rudolf has no intention of treating for peace. He means to continue his march on Zofian soil. Alm: Damn… Clive: Our men are approaching their limit. And Rigel’s climate is far colder than what they knew in Zofia. Further delaying here will only sap their strength and morale. Alm: All right, Clive. I trust your judgment. Let’s get ready to march. Clive: Understood. I’ll pass word to the others and prepare them to cross into the empire. Alm: …… What’s all of this leading to?

Alm has legitimately sent a petition to Rudolf to stop his march into Zofian soil. As per his word, his aim was merely to drive back the invasion, then request that the Rigelian’s cease trying again. His attempts for peace, or at least a meeting for parley, are met with silence, and yet he waits until Wyrmstym/Winter before finally heeding Clive’s advice and engaging in a march. Who knows how long he had between Pegastym//Autumn and Wyrmstym to wait, but it’s implied it’s been long enough for a courrier to make it to the Empire’s capital, wait for political deliberation and receive a response, and then some.

And most importantly...

Alm: Listen, Celica. I know you sacrificed your own life to protect me and the others. But I never wanted that. I couldn’t ever be happy in a world you died to create! Celica: Oh, Alm… I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Alm: Don’t apologize. Just know that I need you, all right? Without your wisdom, all I know how to do is fight whatever’s in front of me. So please… Will you fight with me? Believe in me. Believe in US. Believe in our combined strength!

Alm is very much aware that his skills lie in battle to resolve a conflict or problem, and as much as he has stated to dislike meaningless fights or struggles that can be avoided (as noted by his attempt to speak to some enemies (like witches) to try and dissuade them from attacking, or willingness to listen to Tatiana and thus speak to Zeke at the start of the fight with Jerome), and has even been noted to be a compassionate/kind leader (your choices as the player aside if you decide to kill everyone on ‘defeat boss’ missions lfmao), enough that Rigelians know this already and Rudolf can positively affirm it.

It makes him a mixed bag of emotions for this reason, because he feels terrible about what he’s good at doing, but he feels its the only way he can help.

Anyway, this was too long a post to just say that, but it’s what it is at its core. Alm is down to fight, especially if it’s someone he sees doing something vile, but as a means to an end he feels if it’s unnecessary it should be avoided (even if he feels its the only skill he has, even if it’s not particularly true). This compassionate side of him does not show at all when he feels it’s someone who deserves it, however (like Slayde and Desaix), which is probably something considered a flaw by some, maybe a dangerous one in a leader. It’s kind of fortunate that he has a well-maintained moral compass, I suppose, because this kind of thinking could lead straight to hell otherwise.

[underthewingsofthblackeagle]

The Murderess from the Grunewald (7): Secret Whitsun holidays on Rügen (2): Prince Bismarck and the secret

“Villa Kogge” Berlin * Picture by SPQP [CC BY-SA 3.0  (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], von Wikimedia Commons

Previously

Meeting Prince Bismarck

         "Jamie! What's this?"

         "My house."

         "That's not a house! That's a," Claire swallowed the swear word, "castle!"

         Jamie laughed.

         "Well, it's not that big."  

         He had driven up the driveway, then turned left around the circular flower bed that separated the driveway from the house and stopped just in front of the entrance.

         With each meter that they had come closer, more details had become visible. Before their eyes appeared a large, rectangular building with three floors. An eight-step stone staircase led to a plateau, from which one could enter the house through a high and heavy oak door. Implied Corinthian columns, held in a light brown color, lined the front door. The door and the windows of the first floor were rounded at the top. The windows of the other two floors reflected the rectangular shape of the house. The conclusion of the third floor was a gable triangle. Inside of it was a coat of arms held by two lions. Below the roof a frieze of flowers and tendrils went around the whole house. Like the columns, the frieze was held in a light brown color – a clear contrast to the rest of the house, which was painted in white.

         Before Jamie got out and opened Claire's door, she was standing in front of the house, staring at it with wonder.  

         "A classic example of classicism," she said mischievously.

         Jamie took her hand and led her up the steps to the front door.

         "Now we have to be cautious. Please step beside the door."

         Claire looked at him, puzzled.

         "Why do we have to be cautious when we enter your own house?"

         "My friend Prince Bismarck is something ... well, let's say - spontaneously - and I do not want him to run you over accidentally."

         "Jamie ...?"

         He did not answer her questions, but placed her behind one of the large flower tubs that stood to the right and left of the door. Then he took his keychain out of his jacket and carefully opened the front door.

         Before they knew it, a small black ball of fur, no larger (and probably no thicker) as Claire's forearm,  raced out of the door. The 'Tour de Force' of this little black Something was accompanied by a barrage of barks, wuffs and other indefinable noises. Then Claire suddenly realized why Jamie had put her in safe distance. Obviously, the little black creature had lost control of his bladder while rejoicing over the reunion with its master. Several wet spots on the flagstones testified to this.

         "Enough Bismarck!" Jamie said emphasis and after a few more jumps of joy the dog stopped and sat down. Then he looked up expectantly. Jamie stroked the head of the little dog several times, talking calmly to him, then he grabbed its neck.

         "Come on, Claire."

         Jamie carried the dog into the house and Claire followed him. They entered a square entrance hall about the size of Claire's entire living room. Jamie disappeared into a room on the right side of the front door. She followed him and saw that it was a small bathroom for guests. On the wall to the left of this room was a framed quote in Gothic script: "Nothing will turn a man's home into a castle more quickly and more effectively than a dachshund. - Queen Victoria" Claire read it, rolled her eyes and smiled. Then she looked at Jamie.

         "My little friend, Prince Bismarck, is not quite clean yet ... especially when he is in his joyful welcome mode ...."

         He took a moistened washcloth and cleaned the animal. Then he wrapped it in a towel. When he returned to the hall, Claire saw that the dog Jamie was holding was a small black short-haired dachshund. The animal looked at her with big brown eyes.

         "Bismarck, that's Claire. Be polite!"

         "Claire, that's my friend Prince Bismarck!"

         She smiled and shook her head.

         "May I?"

         "Of course! He does not bite, he still has baby teeth. "

         "How old is he?"

         "Four months. Usually I do not leave him alone overnight, but ... I'll take him with me to the office. He stays with my secretary when I have to go to court ... "

(”Dackel” by congerdesign)    

         Claire gently stroked Bismarck's head and before she knew it, he began to lick her hand.

         "That's fine, old boy. Give the lady a hand kiss. "

         After some more petting Jamie put the animal on the floor.

         "Ready for a little tour of the house?"

         "Gladly."

         He took her hand and led her through a double door separating the hall from the rest of the living area. Through a corridor they came to other rooms.                   "Right here is the library."

         Jamie opened a large oak door and led Claire into the room. Three sides of the room had shelves of dark wood in which she saw books of all sizes and age. In the middle of the room were two black leather sofas opposite. In the middle stood a large coffee table, on which a glass ball vase was placed. Fresh lilac branches were sticking out of it. Their scent was clearly perceptible in the whole room. A stack of magazines and some current dailies could also be found on the table. On the fourth wall she saw a large window front, from which one could see part of the garden. A desk, which Claire assumed was from the time of Biedermeier, stood in front of the windows. Two chairs, one in front of and one behind the desk came from the same era. Not far from the desk, but closer to the window, stood a wooden pillar. On the top of the plate stood a white-and-gold porcelain pot that harbored a large green fern. A not inconsiderable number of different cacti were lined up on the window sills. Behind the desk stood, a bit offset, a Biedermeier cabinet.  Its upper half was glazed. Behind it, glasses and bottles became visible and Claire guessed that Jamie was using this cabinet as a bar. Then she felt his hand lightly on her back.

         "Do you like it?"

         "Very much."

         "Come, I'll show you the rest."

         He led her through the hallway.

         "The living- and dining room," Jamie said as he opened the next door. A large room was displayed in front of Claire. A long dining table with numerous chairs stood on its right side. On the wall beyond stood several sideboards, over which hung several paintings showing various persons and a ship in a stormy sea. On the right side of the room, they came to an arrangement of leather sofas and leather armchairs placed between another window front and a large fireplace. Claire tried to estimate the size of the room, but she forgot it because there was so much to see. A door dividing the window front caught Claire's attention.

         "Where is this door leading?" she asked softly.

         "Into the winter garden."

         Again she felt his hand lightly on her back as he slowly led her forward.

         Claire's eyes widened once more. The winter garden turned out to be a miniature version of the dining and living room. There was a smaller dining table with six chairs, and four large leather chairs in front of a fireplace. Numerous flowers - orchids of various kinds, small palm trees, orange and citrus trees and other green plants, stood on the windowsills or in clay and porcelain containers between the seating arrangements. Another door on the left led to a large garden.

         "Jamie ..."

         "Do you like it?"

         "It is ... amazing!"

         In Claire's voice there was astonishment, but also exhaustion. She would need days, if not weeks, to get to know this house, and she had seen only a few rooms. Slowly he pulled her close and kissed her gently on her forehead.

         "Come on, there is more to see."

         When she opened her eyes again and looked into his bright face, she thought for a moment that he resembled a teenager who was about to share a big find with a friend. She had experienced so many facets of him - the serious, educated and purposeful lawyer. The loving and caring friend. The forward-thinking strategist. The formidable protector. But this site she especially loved. And she wondered how many - or rather how few - people knew this side of him. The answer to that came only a few minutes later. Slowly they had gone back into the hallway. Bismarck, sniffing at this or that piece of furniture and occasionally making a little sound, always in tow. Jamie, his arm still around her waist, opened another door.  

         "The kitchen."

         The room they entered was clearly different from any room of the house she had seen until now. The kitchen was a bright and friendly room with all the modern equipment one could think of. Just to the left  side of the door stood a plaited dog basket with a red checkered cushion, in front of it a feeding and a water bowl. Above the basket hung a framed picture that showed a kind of cartoon drawing. It showed a brown dachshund in the costume of a dragon and the lettering: "Dachshunds are dragons in disguise".  

         "Beware the dragon," Jamie whispered.

         "Oh yeah, sure," she whispered back, as the little black dragon suddenly squeezed between her feet to his water bowl and started to drink. Once again she glanced around the room. On the right side of the room was a white bench that surrounded a large table on three sides. Claire paused for a moment. Then she looked questioningly at Jamie.

         "What is? Something missing?"

         She hesitated for a moment.

         "You told me so much about your family. Where are they?"

         Jamie swallowed.

         "They ...  they don’t live here."

         Although he answered quickly, Claire didn’t miss the sadness in his voice.

         When he saw Claire's questioning look, he continued:

         "I'll explain it to you later. When we are on the island ... and ... and have more time. Is that okay for you?"

         "I'm sorry if I ..."  

         "No, Claire. It's okay that you asked. I ... I want to tell you. But as I said ... when we have more time."

         She nodded.

         "Ready for the second floor?"

         "Yes. Lead on."  

  “Villa Kogge - Berlin - Oberlicht” * Picture by Elmar Nolte [CC BY-SA 4.0  (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

       Jamie led them back down the corridor to the hall, from where a staircase led to the upper floors. The stairs were wide enough for two people and so Jamie put his arm around Claire's waist again and they walked up next to each other, followed by Prince Bismarck right behind them. Arriving on the first floor, Jamie led her past several smaller rooms.

         "These are rooms that I don’t use right now. Only when I have guests."

         He pointed to the furniture covered with large sheets.

         "On the third floor there are a few other small rooms. I use them as storerooms and for supplies."

         They went back the whole way and stopped in front of a double door. Jamie opened one of the doors and motioned for her to enter.

         "This is my work and living room."

         The room was almost as big as the living room below, but without the dining area. It was dominated by a large, desk obliquely placed to the window front. Behind it there stood a modern leather armchair that matched the dark color of the desk. Under the desk she saw a plaited dog basket with a dark red pillow. Claire went to the window front. From it she could see not only in the garden, but over a small forest also the Havel. Carefully she ran her fingers over the few plants that stood on the window sill: another large fern, a blooming violet, and an orchid with a panicle of red blossoms. Then she turned around. To the right of the door there was a large fireplace, in front of it a small and a larger leather sofa, as well as two or three small side tables. To the right and left of the fireplace hung various paintings. One showed a couple in noble clothes. Claire suspected that it showed Jamie's parents. Another picture showed a large, gray mansion with several floors and a tall tower next to it. Both buildings were embedded in a green hilly landscape. The wall opposite the desk was filled with bookshelves that reached to the ceiling. When Claire turned around again, she saw that Jamie had sat down in the desk chair. Bismarck had made himself comfortable in the dog basket at his feet.

         "You two spend a lot of time together up here, right?"

         It was more a statement than a question.

         "Yes, a lot of time."

         "I understand that well. It is really cozy. I can imagine that you can work or relax here with joy."

         "That's true. Especially in winter. "

         "And where does the last door on this floor lead?"

         "Only to a bathroom."

         "To a bathroom? Then ... you have your bedchamber on the third floor? "

         Jamie grinned.

         "No. As I said, there are only storage rooms. "

         Claire looked perplexed. But he just smiled and stayed silent. Then he got up, pulled her close and kissed her.

         "Can you keep a secret?"

         "Sure."

         She said the word with all conviction she was capable of. But at the same time, she was not so sure that she would be able to keep her promise. What kind of secret would he reveal to her? What hidden side of him would she now get to know now? Would it be a positive or a bad surprise?  

         "Good, then come on."

         He led her to the middle of the shelf and put his right hand against one side of one of the drawers. A click sound was heard and suddenly the right side of the shelf came off the wall. The secret door opened to a bedroom that Claire would have expected in an early 18th-century castle, but not in a villa of today's Berlin. Carefully, she stepped over the threshold and marveled at the world that offered itself to her. In the middle of the room, which dominant color was a dark blue, stood a large four-poster bed. Claire estimated its age to be at least two hundred years, if not more. To the right and left of it were small side tables of the same color and with the same carvings as the pillars of the bed. In front of the bed was a large chest with iron fittings. On the left side of the room stood a massive wardrobe. When she turned around, she saw that even this room had a fireplace. Next to the fireplace stood a small table with a mirror. Behind it was the only window of the room. Two armchairs in front of the fireplace completed the furnishing of it. Carefully, Claire slid her right hand over the blue wallpaper and the silver leaves woven into it. Then she turned to Jamie.

         "It ... it's beautiful," she whispered.

         Jamie, who had approached her, gently put his arms around her and looked at her.  

         "Over the generations, parts of this house have been renovated and altered over and over again. But not this room. Since my great-grandfather built this house, it has always been the bedroom of the couple that continued our line. Apart from my family, you are the only person I have allowed to enter this room and I wish nothing more than to carry you across this threshold as my wife ... one day."  

         She looked at him. Then she turned her face away, looked down, and was silent.  

         "Claire, what is it?"

         "Are you sure, Jamie?"

         "Yes of course! Why do you ask?"

         "What about Jeanne Luigi?"

         "What is with her?"

         She saw in his eyes that he was genuinely surprised. This calmed and disturbed her at the same time.  

         "Didn’t you see how she looked at you? I thought she would devour you alive."

         "She is a married woman!"

         "I know. But you know the saying: That's a reason – not an obstacle."

        "Claire, for me that's a reason and a hindrance and an absolute taboo! She is the wife of a client!"  

        "She looked at you like ..."

         "I don’t care. She doesn’t mean anything to me. Absolutely nothing. The only woman who means something, everything, the only woman with whom I want to share my life stands in front of me!"

         Before she could say anything, he kissed her with an intensity of which she didn’t know if it was fed by passion or rage – or both. As they parted, she looked at him for a moment, quiet and thoughtful. Then she said:

         “Please, forgive me. It's none of my business anyway."

         "Isn’t it?"

         "Is it?"

         "Yes it is. And you don’t have to apologize for asking. I'm glad you did it."

         He pulled her close. Then he whispered:

         "We are ... not ready to tell each other ... all that is to tell. That's fine. We will endure this time. Our relationship will grow and so will our trust. I wish to share everything with you. But until we are ready, everything we tell each other should be true. Can you agree?"

         "Yes. Yes, I agree."

         He smiled and she saw, how his whole body relaxed.

         "Thank you, Claire. And now I'll tell you another secret."

         He went to the wardrobe and reached with one hand to its top. As if guided by an invisible hand, the cabinet moved to the left with a rolling noise. Behind it a door became visible.

         "This one leads to the bathroom ..."

Thank you for reading. Next time, read: Claire’s story (2)

[hiei1300]

An Avenger’s Secret

Chapter 4: Team Up

Pairing: Loki x Female Reader

Summary: Being the epitome of professional, you have one rule that must be followed to the T; Never mix business and personal. But how will your integrity fair against meeting the Avengers, or better yet, a certain Avenger’s brother?

A/N: I’m still new to all of this, so I’m sorry that I don’t know the proper protocols when it comes to tagging, I’m working on it.

Word Count: 3554

Warnings: None

Chapter 3

“Morning John.” Walking through the double doors, the smell of fresh linen and flowers surrounded and welcomed you. A man with chocolate brown hair and a sharp complexion smiled widely at you before turning back to his customer.

“Good morning, (Y/n). Give me a minute and I’ll be right with you.” Taking a fancy looking dress from a young woman, John, the owner of the establishment, gave her a card and sent her on her way before turning to you. “Here for your pick-up?”

“Yes sir. Is it ready?” you asked handing him your order slip.

“It is,” pressing a button on a large remote on the wall, the long line of clothing started to rotate at a leisurely pace, “and who are these fine-looking specimens? New toys?” giving you a wicked smile, the glint in his eyes directed to the two men standing behind you.

Raising a brow at you, you ignored the look as you answered the man.

“Colleagues of my boss. They offered to help with my run today.”

“I’m relieved to hear that, I thought I had competition there for a moment.” He smiled.

Looking at him openly, he looked fairly young, around late 20’s early 30’s. A strong physique and a fine chiseled jaw with a 5 o’clock shadow.

“That implies you were ever in the running.” You said bluntly.

“Awe, that’s harsh, (Y/n). Even after all the chemistry between us?” he was leaning over the desk, his smile never faltering.

“It’s a biohazard.”

Laughing at your answer, he turned around to stop the rotation. Sifting through the tags he pulled yours out.

“Here we are, Ms. (L/n), I believe this is yours.” Handing you a long solid white bag with a hanger. “I have to ask; how did you do that to this beautiful gown?” with a playful frown on his face, you took the hanger.

“Not me, E did that.”

“That girl is a danger to her own art. Well, tell her ‘hi’ for me the next time you see her.”

“I will, thank you John.” Turning to leave, the two men followed you out, the taller one taking a glance at the man behind the counter, his smile still plastered on his face.

“He seems to really like you.”

“I’m a regular at his laundromat.”

“Regularly inclined?” an obvious tone was in his voice, teasing and suggestive.

Giving the suited man a glance over your shoulder, you looked forward once more on your walk.

“I am not, Mr. Laufeyson, and even if I was there are two reasons why that just won’t be.”

“Oh?”

“The first being that the man is already in a relationship.”

“Midgardians aren’t exactly the most faithful lot.”

“The second is that he is gay.”

That bit seemed to throw him a bit. Bucky, as well, for that matter.

“Furthermore, my relations are of none of your concern. There’s no need to trouble yourself with my personal life.”

“What can I say, you’ve peaked my interest.”

“What else do you have to do?” Bucky asked.

“I need to drop this off before I move on with the rest of my list.” Going for your pant pocket, you patted around your hips and rear before you remembered.

“Oh, can I see my phone?” giving you an amused smirk, Loki took your phone out and handed it to you.

Pulling up your To-Do list, you scrolled through before you landed on Saturday.

“Here we go. I have a few orders to pick up today, hopefully it doesn’t take too long. We can stop for a bite if the others don’t mind and if you both want to. I have an item to return and…” Stopping, you turned to the two men.

“Are you both staying the night again?”

“Funny you should mention that.” Loki smiled.

“Tony invited us to stay at the tower so, we’re all going to be staying here for a while.” Answered the soldier.

“Then I’m going to need to do some grocery shopping.” You said, continuing to walk. Turning your phone off, you handed it back to Loki. “Could one of you call and ask what everyone would want for dinner?”

“You’re cooking?” they questioned.

“Unless you’re ordering in, yeah, regardless if all of you are staying for a while I’m going to need to stock up. Something tells me none of you are canaries.”

Looking at you questioningly, they waited for you to elaborate the comment.

“Light eaters.”

You continued your walk for a few more blocks, coming onto an apartment complex, you walked in what looked like an art studio rather than an apartment.

“This is where you live?” questioned Loki, the two wandering in behind you and taking a good look around.

Canvases of different sizes were leaning against the far end wall. Portraits and paintings decorated every inch of the large space. Clothing racks were stocked with beautiful gowns, and there was a tall rack of different fabric rolls. In the middle of it all was a large table with blueprints and sketches of more dresses and model concepts.

“Oh no, this isn’t mine.” Walking over to hang the bag with the rest of the dresses, you went over to the table to write a something down. “This belongs to my friend. I just came to drop off her dress.”

“These are amazing.” Bucky commented, admiring one of the larger pieces leaning by the door.

“Be careful what you touch, you might get paint on yourself.” Pining the note to the bag you turned back to the men. “Let’s go.”

Locking the door behind you, they followed you out once more.

“What does your friend do?” Bucky asked, checking his hands for any evidence in the room.

“She’s a professional designer and artist. That was one of her private studios.”

“And you have keys to them?” Loki questioned, seeing the ring of multiple keys on it.

“I do.”

As you continued to walk the more people seemed to appear. Being in, what looks like, a shopping square, your next stop was a boutique.

“(Y/n)! Oh, I’m so happy to see you!” running up and throwing her arms around you in a hug, a tall blonde woman ushered you into the bright store. “I was wondering when you’d show up, I’ve been guarding your order all week. Sammy thought you forgot about it but I told her you didn’t that you were just busy that you were sure to come and you did!”

“Claire, breathe. You’re going to pass out if you keep talking like that.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just so happy to see you!” she bounced, running behind the glass counter and pulling out a few small boxes and a slightly larger flat box. “These are some of our top sellers, do you want me to call you if we get any new stock in?”

“Please. Thank you, Claire.” Carefully putting the boxes in your backpack, it was only then that she noticed the guys.

“I’ll be right with you gentlemen, I’m finishing up with her and I’ll be happy to help you.” She chimed happily.

“That won’t be necessary.” Loki spoke, watching you carefully.

“We’re with her.” Clarified Bucky.

“Oh! Which one of you is she dating?” she asked almost overly happy.

“Neither.” You answered bluntly. Pulling the pack back over your shoulders you turned back to the woman. “They’re colleagues of my employer, they volunteered to escort me on my run today.”

“That’s too bad, I can see you making a cute couple with both of them.” She smiled sweetly.

“I’ll see you later, Claire. Take care, tell Sam I said ‘hi’.”

“Bye, (Y/n)!”

Leaving the store crowds were starting to form, the trek becoming that much more unpleasant.

“You’re quite well known, aren’t you?” Loki smirked, seeing people from other stores you pass wave at you enthusiastically.

“Not at all.” Waving back in a polite manner. “I’m only known from my friend.”

“The one, who’s studio we went to?” asked Bucky, seeing how many people seemed to be trying to get you to join them in their establishments.

“She’s well known around here.”

“You don’t seem pleased.” Loki poked.

“I’m not that comfortable with the attention, that’s why I didn’t want to be seen with any of the well know Avengers. No offense to you guys.” You said nonchalantly, entering a bookstore.

“Hi, welcome to BB’s Book Café, what can I do for you today?” the clerk asked as you walked up to the counter.

“Hi, is Tommy in today? I have a return for him.” You asked, pulling a book from your bag.

“He is, I’ll go get him for you.”

Turning to the guys you spoke, “This might take a while, you’re free to take a look around. I’m going to do that when I return this.”

“It’s just one book, how long can it take?” Bucky questioned, leaning against the counter.

“He likes to talk.”

“More than that girl?” Loki raised an eyebrow to you in disbelief.

Shrugging your shoulders, you turned in time to see a dark male rush over to you. Well built, a strong jaw, he looked really happy to see you.

“(Y/n), good to see you again. What do you need?”

“Just a return, Tom.”

“What? No way, what didn’t you like this time?”

“The main female was insufferable.” You exclaimed, sliding the hardback to the man. “Her attitude was frustrating and the male lead was an ass.”

“Most people like that about their characters, (Y/n). Kinda coincides with the whole ‘damsel in distress’ bit. I thought you’d like the adventure aspect of it though, that’s why I recommended it to you.”

“Adventure, yes. Brainless bimbos, no.”

“Danny was asking about you again. What should I say this time?” he asked, scanning the book back into the computer.

“I really don’t want to deal with this again. My answer stands.”

“What about me, then?”

“What about you?”

“What about going out with me?” His question caught you off guard as you stared at him. Though your expression was unreadable, your company caught the hesitation in your stance.

“I- “

“Hey, (Y/n).” Turning to the call, you and Tom looked over at Bucky. “Tony wants to know if you’d be willing to play volleyball when we get back.”

“Yeah, I’ll play.”

“You’re together?” Tom asked, pointing between you and Bucky.

“Him too.” You motioned to Loki, not understanding what the man was implying. His eyes went wide in surprise but simply nodded without another word.

“We’d best get going.” Loki ushered, peering down at the man with a smirk.

“I’ll see you later, Tom.” You called out, exiting the doors.

Before either of you could make a comment, your name was screamed out.

“(Y/N)!!” Turning to the voice, you were nocked back, slamming into Loki. In your arms was a petite girl with bright blue and purple hair and bright big brown eyes.

“E!” you exclaimed happily, hugging her and spinning her around. “I was just about to call. How are you?”

“Better now that I’m with you.” She said, rubbing her face into your chest and hugging you closer.

“What did you do?” you asked, peering down at her.

“I didn’t do anything.” Looking at you with a hurt expression.

“E.”

“I promise, I didn’t do anything!”

“If you tell me now, I won’t get mad.”

“But I didn’t do anything.” She whined

“I’m gonna find out, better tell me now while I’m in a good mood.”

Looking away while she nervously laughed seemed to give her away more.

“Spill.” You said, letting go and crossing your arms.

“I didn’t do anything bad,” she clarified, trying to look innocent, “but I do have a favor to ask you.” Looking up she noticed the two men behind you. Her eyes going wide and a smile spreading across her face.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me?!” she bounced around, hooking her arms between the two tall figures.

Laughing at her enthusiasm, you introduced her.

“E, this is Loki Laufeyson,” pointing to the suit, “and that’s James Barnes.”

“Gentlemen, this is my friend, Elli.”

“I’m her best friend.” She clarified. “It’s soooo nice to meet you, (Y/n) told me you stayed over last night. Though I have to admit, you’re a lot more attractive in person.” She laughed.

Pulling her back into your arms, your smile was surprising them. It was soft and loving, brightening up your face all the more.

“Reel it back, cougar, I don’t feel like being imprisoned for your promiscuity.”

“You told her about us?” Bucky questioned, looking rather unsure.

“I’m a big fan.” She laughed, leaning against you.

“She won’t tell anyone.” You reassured them. “So, what’s the favor you wanted?”

“Right!” Spinning around to face you, wrapping her arms around your waist. “Can you babysit this week?”

Your smile faded as concern replaced your features.

“E, I can’t. I don’t have a set punch out time, you know that.”

“But you’re the only one I can ask. They don’t like anyone else and it’s only until Friday.”

“A whole week?” pulling her at arms-length to look her in the eyes. “What are you doing for that time?”

“I got a call from Paris, I’ll be taking off on Monday. Please, (Y/n). You know I’d take them if I could.”

The look in her eyes was pleading and desperate. With a dejected sigh you answered.

“I’ll ask- “

“Oh, thank you!” she jumped.

“Not so fast, E. I’m not guaranteeing anything here. I’ll ask, and I’ll let you know by the end of the day.”

“Thank you, (Y/n)!” hugging you closer. “The boys have been doing so good, they’ll love having you over.”

“It’s not the boys I’m worried about, it’s that little girl of yours. I can’t have her running around causing trouble for me.”

“She listens to you better than she listens to me.” She countered. “Besides, she loves being held by you, she won’t go anywhere.”

Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay Let It Rain Over Me!

Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay Let It Rain Over Me!

Making everyone jump you and E looked to the guys.

“It’s not me.” Bucky spoke, all of you looking to Loki.

Digging your phone out of his jacket pocket, the loud ring tone had caught him off guard, he was fumbling with the device.

“Here.” He urged, handing you the phone.

“Yes, sir, was there something you needed?” you answered, not bothering to speak his name, based solely on the ring tone, you knew it was your boss.

“(Y/n), how do you feel about playing volleyball with us?”

“Mr. Barnes already asked that, I agreed.” Looking to Bucky, realization crossed his eyes, he forgot to let them know.

“Oh, that’s great! Hurry back, Clint is hungry and we still need to decide teams!”

Hanging up and handing the phone back to Loki, who was now a little reluctant to take it, you bid your friend good bye.

“Gotta go, E. I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

“Alright, bye (Y/n), say hi to Tony for me.”

“Oh, and John says ‘hi’.”

Hugging you tight, you placed chaste kiss on her head before she ran off in the opposite direction of your party. Your blank curtain returning as you walked.

“What was that?” The tall God asked, following behind you back to the tower.

“What was what?”

“You were a completely different person when your friend showed up.” His smile seemed to have increased some on the walk. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you two are more than friends.”

“Then it’s a good thing you do know better, Mr. Laufeyson.”

“You said my name earlier, you can say it now.” He smirked.

“It was merely an introduction, nothing more.”

Noon came quickly, nearing 1:30 when the three of you entered the building. Stepping out of the elevator, you walked in on Tony trying to chart out the teams so they were fairly even but Steve arguing the favoritism with his team choice.

“What are you doing?” you asked, walking in and bringing their little squabble to a halt.

“We’re trying to pick teams.” Mr. Stark answered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Tony is trying to get the better players.” Steve informed, before Tony could protest, you stepped in and shooed them away from the board.

“You’re not the captains.” You concluded, holding your hand up to stop any interruptions. “If we’re going to play, it’s going to be fair.” There was a mother-like one in your voice that made both men almost sulk and the others to giggle at their lack of authority.

“Before teams are going to be picked we need to split off into categories.” You told them, waving a hand for everyone to file into the living room.

“What do you mean?”

“You want a fair match, right? The categories will be based on each of our skillsets or how much we have in common, for example;” walking over, you moved Thor and Loki next to each other, “these two are categorized as The Gods. Understand?”

“Oh, that’s means there will be five categories for us to choose from for our teams.” Nodding at Sam for understanding, you proceeded to move people around.

“Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes will be the Soldiers. Mr. Stark and Mr. Wilson are our Suits. Mr. Barton and Ms. Romanoff are the Knights, and Dr. Banner along with myself will be the Joes.”

“Joes?” questioned Thor.

“It derives from the term, Average Joe, meaning that we are almost common compared to the rest of you.”

“Alright, so, who will be the captains?” asked Nat, looking to Stark and Rogers who were ready to volunteer.

“The Gods will be the captains.” You answered, shutting down any attempt of Tony trying to cheat. “They have a better chance of being fair than the rest of you.” Looking at your boss with a disapproving glint in your eye.

“When one person is called, their opposite will go with the other team’s captain. Alternate choosing, who wants to go first?”

“Flip a coin.” Banner suggested, pulling a quarter from his pocket and handing it to you.

“Mr. Odinson, heads or tails?”

“Heads.” He smiled. Flipping the coins in the air, you caught it and revealed tails.

“Mr. Laufeyson, you may pick first.”

Looking over everyone carefully, his eyes hovering over you a moment longer, he smiled. “If you’d please, (Y/n).”

Nodding, you walked over next to the dark clad man.

“That means I get Banner.” Thor boomed happily. The Doctor coming over next to the blond.

“You choose next, Mr. Odinson.”

“Clint.”

“Tony.” The smirk on his face made Stark a little uncomfortable but he was happy to be in the same team as you.

“Hmm, you both have admirable qualities.” Thor wondered out loud, debating which of the soldiers he wanted to pick.

“I’ll choose the Captain.” He decided happily.

“That’s the teams.” You pointed out. “I suggest wearing something more mobile.” Patting Loki’s shoulder, you walked over to the kitchen and started to prep for lunch.

“Whoa, hold up there, (Y/n). I was gonna order in. It’s your day off, relax a little.”

“If you insist, sir.”

Taking a glance around the area, there wasn’t much to be done on your day off in the tower. As much as you wanted to leave for the library, they wanted to keep an eye on you. The teams seemed to have split off when you turned to the kitchen, Stark was at the phone presumably ordering food, not feeling the role you had to take, you sat on the couch next to Natasha.

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re a natural in sports?” the redhead laughed, bringing the others’ attention to you.

“Not at all, I’m familiar with volleyball but that’s as far as it goes.”

“What is volleyball?” Loki inquired, sitting in the recliner next to you.

“It’s a game for two teams, usually of six players, in which a large ball is hit by hand over a high net, the aim being to score points by making the ball reach the ground on the opponent's side of the court.” Your answer was rather robotic, though Loki didn’t see anything wrong with your explanation, Clint, Natasha, and Bucky looked at you with surprised shock by your text book definition.

“Uh…w-when was the last time you played?” Barnes asked.

“July, two years ago in Albuquerque.”

“New Mexico? What on earth were you doing there?” Tony asked, coming to join the group.

“E had a shoot there for a convention and I tagged along, she heard about a local volleyball tournament and signed us up.”

“Wow, so you have experience. How far did you get?” A little eager to hear more about it, aside from Loki, they leaned forward to listen.

“Not very far, we won four matches before we lost, needed six wins to make it to the semifinals. Other than that, it was pretty fun.”

“Hey, Tony, don’t you have an empty room that we can use to practice?” Nat encouraged. “That way we can teach our captain how to play.”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” Getting up from his spot, he motioned the team to follow him. “This is gonna be fun.”

Chapter 5

@harrymewmew @themes87 @pieceofhamiltrash @trashyemonerd @haven-in-writing @jj-trickster @southside-serpent-princess

[spider-bih]

Neighbors [Peter Parker]

[Traces Of You Series P.2]

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, implied sex (briefly mentioned by a side character), mentions of drug use (weed) (not condoning illegal drug use or romanticizing it), angst, shitty writing, etc

Part 1, Masterlist, Part 3

Peter was on edge- but he wasn't sure if it was his Spider-Sense telling him to be, or his own curiosity. It'd been two weeks since his new neighbors moved in, and he'd never seen their faces. He only knew there were two people because he'd caught a glimpse of their hooded figures walking into their apartment. One was much taller and bigger than the other- but neither were really small. He assumed both were guys, but he really had no clue. He only ever saw them hooded, and he couldn't tell them apart from just their height. He just knew they felt.. off.

Anytime he'd come home late from Decathlon practice or his Spider-Man duties, he'd catch one of them slipping back into their apartment or sneaking out with their head down low. What were they hiding, and why? Did they not realize how shady they looked- or was he the only one concerned? Maybe he was because he was the only person who needed to be concerned. He was the only person in this building with a secret like his- one that could cost him his Aunt, his friends or his life. So perhaps that was why he was so concerned- so on edge and constantly looking over his shoulder. As far as he could tell, they weren't following him. He only ever saw them in his apartment building, directly across the hall. No where else. He didn't see them outside- it was as if they didn't exist anywhere else.

Sometimes he wished he had more of Mr.Stark's tech. The kind that would allow him to see the names of the people who moved in across from him- their faces and where they'd come from and why. Karen could only do so much, and he had yet to ask the A.I in his suit to do something like that. It felt too personal to do so- what if he was snooping in on innocent peoples lives? What if they were hiding from someone in their life and didn't want to be found by anyone, even a stranger?

What if he was so worked up over nothing? What if-

His thoughts were cut off by a shoulder colliding with his- his neighbor, or one of the two, at least. They had a really hard shoulder- they also didn't even say sorry for bumping right into him. They just kept on going until they reached the elevator- only to turn to the stairs and start running straight down. Rude much?

Maybe they had somewhere to be..

Another week flew by, and still he knew nothing of his new neighbors. Hell, he barely knew anything of his current neighbors- but at least he'd seen their faces. At least he knew the sweet old lady down the hall wasn't out for his blood- at least as far as he could tell. She may be old, but that didn't mean she couldn't hate him- off topic and unimportant. What was important, was that he had their mail. Some mix up must have happened (or some stroke of luck) and he got their mail. He also had a name.

Tito _____.

Definitely a guys name- still no insight to who this person might be. He had half a mind to ask Karen to look into her database for this name, but his rational thinking won over. It would be wrong to do so. This guys criminal record was none of his business, unless he was doing something illegal and he could prove it. He couldn't, so it was better to just return the mail to it's rightful owner. He just wished that doing so would make his curiosity dissolve into nothing instantly. He was tired of having thoughts of the two shady people living across from him in the middle of Advanced Physics or his nightly patrols as Spider-Man. He was tired of being so jumpy and concerned. He just wanted all this to be over and done with. Maybe these people really were nothing to worry about.

Maybe he was as much of a worry wart as May was- though he would never admit that to her face.

With a heavy sigh, he made his way back up to his floor and readied himself for what he was about to do. He knew this could go all kinds of horribly wrong, but he had some small sliver of belief in himself. He just had no idea that sliver of belief would be for nothing. He was going to fuck up horribly- his whole day, month even, was about to be completely flipped upside down. All because of a mix up in the U.S Postal Service and the universe's weird way of making things happen.

He made his way to the door identical to his- the door that had him insanely curious. Music was creeping out of it from it's crevices, not too loud, but loud enough.

"Oʜ ᴍʏ Gᴏᴅ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ? Tʜᴇ ᴛʀᴀᴄᴇs ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ, ɴᴏ, I ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ.."

The lyrics were unfamiliar to him, but he had to admit the beat was pretty catchy. He could feel it in his bones. The words meant nothing to him- yet, he felt something from them. It was odd. He huffed, shaking the feeling of it off as he raised his fist and knocked on the door. Once, twice, three times. Quick, but not too much. Loud, but not pounding- gosh, was he really over thinking a knock? A fucking knock?

"Wʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ? Wʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ? Wʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ?"

The music continued for a beat as he waited. It was turned down, but he still heard it, along with the footsteps that grew closer to his door. Time to meet this Tito guy and see if there was any reason to be-

"Can I help you?", a voice spoke as the door swung partially open. Their face was easily visible and it looked unamused, bothered even. This face was not a guys face, not by far. She didn't look like a Tito.

She looked, in his eyes, absolutely stunning, and he didn't even know her. She was a complete stranger- and he was a complete fool (especially around girls). His brain instantly shut down as he struggled for a response- and the longer he remained quiet, the more bothered she seemed.

"Hello? You gonna answer or..?", she asked, trailing off as she waited on his response. The music still went on.

He was so fucked.

"Lɪᴋᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜʀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ. Yᴏᴜ ᴅʀɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍɪxᴛᴜʀᴇ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ sʜɪᴛ ɢᴏɴ' ʜɪᴛ ʏᴏᴜ.."

TOY Tags [Ask to be added]: @draqcnheartstrinq

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[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Starting Over (1/?)

Summary: A Lost/Once Upon A Time crossover.Three years after leaving the island, Kate and Claire’s search for a quiet town in which to make their permanent home brings them to the peaceful idyll of Storybrooke, Maine, where new friendships are forged and new relationships tentatively kindled - although nothing is ever plain sailing. 

Eventual Claire/Gold, Kate/Ruby, with appearances from lots of Lost and OUAT characters.

Rated: T

[AO3]

====

Starting Over

One

“We need to get out of the city.” 

James glanced over at Kate on hearing her words. She was looking out of the kitchen window at the garden. Claire was sitting out on the deck, wrapped up in a thick afghan and nursing a cup of tea, watching over Aaron as he ran around, playing and investigating mud and bugs like any self-respecting six-year-old did.

“I thought you said that she was getting better. It’s been three years, Kate. If she’s not better now, do you think she’s ever going to be?”

Kate sighed and turned to him at last. “She is better, James. Look at her. You can’t look at her now and say she’s not a completely different person to the one that left the island three years ago. Be that as it may, though, she’s never going to be happy here in the city. There’s a tension in her all the time, even when she’s happy, like now.”

James looked back out of the window. Aaron was proudly showing his mother a worm that he had found in the rockery, and Claire was laughing and pretending to be grossed out by it.

He had to admit that the difference in her really was remarkable, and it had been good to see her growing out of the trauma that she had experienced on the island and returning to someone who could almost be compared with the person that she had been before the man-who-wasn’t-Locke had got to her. She was never going to be the same Claire; she had gone through too much for it not to have a permanent impact on her, and everyone knew it, even herself. Continuing to watch mother and son playing in the garden, James looked for the tension that Kate had described.

He saw her twitch as a plane taking off from La Guardia rumbled overhead, her shoulders hunching with the sound, and Aaron picked up on it too, his head on one side, one grubby little hand touching Claire’s knee. He couldn’t hear their conversation from the kitchen, but he could see Claire reassuring her son that she was all right and he should go back to playing.

“I’ve been thinking for a while that we need to go somewhere quieter,” Kate said, bringing James’s attention back into the kitchen with her. “New York probably wasn’t the best place to come in hindsight, but I couldn’t exactly go back to LA and I thought that it would be easier in a big city. We could hide away in plain sight. I’m so used to doing it that I didn’t really think about what it would be like for Claire. Going from an island with no-one in sight to a city with millions of people in it every day. She’s come so far, but I don’t think that she’s going to come any further.”

James gave a final glance out of the window then turned his back on it, focussing on Kate fully.

“Are you sure that she’s the only reason, Freckles?” he asked.

Kate gave him a look. “What are you implying, James? You only ever call me Freckles when you’re anticipating a fight. So, what is it that you have to say that you think I’m not going to like?”

“Are you sure that you’re not getting itchy feet yourself?”

The question had blind-sided her, he could tell, but at the same time, perhaps she wasn’t completely unprepared for it. James sighed, sensing that he wasn’t going to get an answer immediately, and he went on.

“If Claire needs peace and quiet to finish her recovery then that’s all very well, Kate, and I’ll be happy to help you find that peace and quiet wherever you want it. But considering everything she’s been though, and everything Aaron’s been through, in the past few years, with all the upheaval, I don’t want you to use her wellbeing as an excuse to satisfy your own desire to move on.”

It was strange to be jumping to Claire’s defence. In the past, he had always sided with Kate, not that there had ever been much to take sides on. Claire was too busy trying to sort out her own head to really argue about any of the arrangements and was happy to go along with anything as long as it meant that she got to be with Aaron. As time had gone on and as the dust from the island had settled, so it was that James had gradually understood just how badly Claire had been affected by her time alone there. He wanted to make her life and her recovery as easy as possible to take the strain off Kate, yes, but at the same time, Claire was capable of making her own decisions regarding her health and state of mind now. She knew when she was heading into a downward spiral and needed a couple of days just keeping to herself in her room. She knew how she was doing at any given moment. Kate was her friend and co-parent, not her carer; as much as he would always support Kate’s decisions made for the good of all three of them, he didn’t want her to be putting words in Claire’s mouth. The idea that Claire needed protecting was a hard mindset for Kate to break out of, but she didn’t need protecting as much as she had done before.

“James, if I had itchy feet, do you really think that a small town in the back of beyond would be the place I would choose to run to? Come on, you know me. I tried small town life once, and it really didn’t suit me.”

“Well, that’s true.”

“If I was running just for the sake of running, just for the sake of moving on and not staying in the same place for too long, then I would go to another city. It’s the city that we need to get out of. There’s too much noise here and too many people.” Kate shrugged. “A lot of people don’t like living in cities for that reason. We wouldn’t have small towns if people didn’t like living in cities.”

In spite of himself, James smiled. Kate did have a point there. He supposed that his hesitance was because he knew that Claire had lived in a city before, in Sydney, another busy, bustling city just like New York was. Her newfound nervousness around so much life and vibrancy, living in a concrete jungle as opposed to a green one, was proof that she had changed irrevocably.

“Have you talked to Claire about it yet?” he asked. “You know that you can’t just pack up and move on without consulting her.”

“I know that, James, I’m not stupid. I’m not going to start making plans on her behalf without asking her first. I’m not her mother.”

“No, you’re not. You’re not her older sister either.”

He saw the little sag of defeat in Kate’s shoulders. The friendship that she’d had with Claire since leaving the island had been so hard to define, close and fierce and protective, and James thought that he had hit the nail on the head. Kate desperately wanted to do what was best for Claire and had to reign herself in from just making all the decisions and expecting Claire to go along with them. She’d had to do that at first; Claire was in no fit state to be making such decisions. Now though, things had changed, and Claire was getting better, and deserved more of a say in what their life together as parents to Aaron was going to be like.

“I’ll talk to her tonight,” she said. “But if we do make the decision to move somewhere else, will you help us?”

James smiled. “Of course. Whatever you need.”

Kate gave a snort of laughter. “Sorry, I just had the image of you driving a u-haul up the east coast.”

“Who’s driving a u-haul up the east coast?”

Claire had come in from the garden, her mug of tea empty. Aaron was still digging in the flowerbeds; Kate wondered if the spring plants Claire had put in earlier in the week would survive the experience.

“No-one, yet,” James said.

Claire just raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, just washing her hands and getting started on dinner. Looking at her now, it was hard to tell just what she’d been through, but Kate was right. There was something about her that was still on edge. Maybe a change of scenery would help with that.

X

Claire was sitting out on the deck wrapped in her afghan again, and Kate came to sit beside her. Aaron was asleep at last; it had been Kate’s turn for story time and he’d been unusually awake, needing two stories before he started to nod off. Maybe he could sense the beginnings of change in the air and it was making him just as on edge as Kate was. James’s earlier words to her had struck a chord; she might think she knew what was best for Claire and what she needed, but ultimately she couldn’t make the decision for her. She was glad that he had come over and played devil’s advocate in a way. She was so used to making the big decisions on her own or with only Carole’s assistance that she did sometimes forget that Claire had a voice and a stake in all these things too now, and she needed to be able to use them.

“Hey. Is he down now?”

Kate nodded. “It took ages though. With all that running around in the garden earlier, you’d think that he’d be tired out. Why do I always get bed time when he’s hyper?”

Claire laughed. “For the same reason that I get bath time when he’s really muddy.” She closed her eyes, turning her face up to the cool evening breeze, and Kate watched it blow her hair around her face like a golden halo. They’d had to crop it so short to get rid of the tangles after the island and it was in such bad condition that Kate had wondered if it would ever grow back, but now it was just brushing her shoulders again, and she looked more like the Claire that Kate had always known before.

“Claire,” she began, “are you happy here?”

Claire turned to her. “How do you mean?”

“Here in New York. Are you happy here?”

“Of course. Where else would I want to be? I’ve got Aaron and I’ve got you, and we’ve got our friends around. That’s all I need. I mean, it would be nice if I could see Mum a bit more often, but other than that, I’m happy here. Why do you ask?”

“I just thought that maybe you’d prefer somewhere… quieter.”

Claire didn’t reply for a long time, just staring down at her toes.

“When you’re so used to solitude, such a large place can be overwhelming,” she admitted. “I don’t miss the island, I never will. I’m glad to be away from it, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I feel like I just can’t breathe here.” She shrugged. “I can deal with it. It’s not as bad as it was. I just miss being near the sea sometimes. Walking along the Hudson isn’t really the same. But I can cope with it. As long as I have Aaron and you, then I think I can cope with anything.”

“But what if you didn’t have to cope? We can go somewhere else. Somewhere quieter, somewhere near the sea.”

Claire nodded. “That would be nice. Did you have anywhere in mind?”

Kate shook her head. “No, not really. It was just an idea to get away from the city.”

“Well, if you’re sure that it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“After everything that we’ve already done in this life, I don’t think that anything’s going to be too much trouble. If we can get off the island and rebuild our lives after that, then moving to a smaller town than New York should be plain sailing.”

Claire laughed. “I guess you’re right. Thank you for getting everything sorted out for us coming to live here. I feel like I never really thanked you properly; I just left everything in your hands and tried to put myself back together again. I wasn’t really pulling my weight.”

“All things considered, I think that’s understandable.”

“All the same, I want to be more involved this time. It’s all of our lives that we’re moving if we’re moving them. If we’re going to do this, then I don’t want you to have to do all the work. I’m helping out.”

It was the stubborn streak that did it, Claire’s old determination bleeding through again. Kate thought of her mission to recover her lost memories of her abduction after Aaron got sick on the island. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer then, and she wasn’t going to take no for an answer now.

“I’ll be glad of your help,” she said, and she meant it. The more that Claire got involved with the move, then the less it felt like she was steamrollering over everything and making all the decisions on her behalf. Now the only thing left to do was to actually make the first steps towards moving. It wasn’t going to be an easy process. Moving around under fake identities was never easy, especially with a child in tow, but they’d done it before, and they could do it again. If necessary, Kate was sure that Richard could activate the Others’ off-island network again and get them some brand new documents drawn up just like he had done when they had first left the island. It had been a tense wait for new lives, but they hadn’t had any trouble once they had finally returned to civilisation.

“I guess that this is what you were talking about when James was mentioning driving a u-haul up the east coast,” Claire said presently.

“Yeah.” Kate wondered if Claire was mad that she had talked it over with James before her, but she didn’t show any signs of anger.

“What did he think of the plan?”

“He wanted to make sure that I wasn’t projecting my desire to move onto you. He thinks I’ve got itchy feet.”

“Have you?”

“Maybe a little. But I’ve stayed in one place before. I stayed in LA with Aaron. I would have been happy to keep staying there if Ben hadn’t intervened and pressed my paranoia button. No-one’s pressed my paranoia button now. Still, if there’s an opportunity for a change of scene, then I’m not going to say no to it.”

They fell into silence as the sun began to set, bathing the garden in a soft pink glow.

“Will you be happy in a small town, Kate?” Claire asked eventually. “You really don’t strike me as that sort.”

“I tried it once,” Kate admitted. “But I wasn’t really me then. I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I was pretending to be the perfect small-town housewife. When we move, if we move, whatever… I won’t be pretending. I’ll still be me. As long as I’m still Kate then it really doesn’t matter where I am. I’m still Aaron’s mom and your friend. As long as I’m not trying to be someone I’m not then I think I can settle anywhere. It’s when I start trying to fit in that the problems start.”

They fell into silence again, but Claire was mollified with her answer, and Kate fell to thinking. She had never tried living in a small town for any length of time since her ill-fated marriage. She’d always stuck to cities, and as she’d said to James, if she was moving just for herself then that was where she would go. But this wasn’t just a move for herself. This was a move for the good of her entire family. If this was going to be the best thing for Claire, then ultimately it would be the best thing for all of them. Claire would be happier, and Kate and Aaron wouldn’t be worried about her. They could all be their best selves, and who knew? Maybe something miraculous and unexpected could come of it. It wasn’t the first time that their lives had been turned upside down, and Kate knew better than to think it would be the last.

“I guess that the next question is to work out where we’re going to go,” Claire said.

Kate didn’t have a ready answer for that one.

X

“Storybrooke.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Storybrooke.” Desmond tapped their map of the eastern seaboard about halfway along the Maine coast. Penny and Kate had taken Aaron and Charlie out for ice cream, leaving Desmond and Claire poring over maps. “I know it’s a bit far, but I think it would be the perfect place for what you’re describing. We spent a few months there around the time Charlie turned one.”

“What’s it like?”

“Small and quiet, which is what you’re looking for. Not too small though. It has all your necessary amenities; you don’t need to drive four hours for the nearest hospital or anything. It’s got everything you could really need apart from a throbbing nightlife. Well, it’s got one bar.”

Claire laughed. “I don’t think that a throbbing nightlife is high on our list of priorities right now, Desmond. What about a school for Aaron?”

“Elementary and middle school. The high school’s in the next town over but there’s a bus. Here, I’ve got some pictures somewhere.”

He grabbed the camera from where he’d been showing Claire and Kate the pictures from the latest Hume family sailing trip and quickly clicked backwards through them until he found what he was looking for.

“I swear that the weather wasn’t always gloomy,” he said. “We did have quite a bit of sun, I just never managed to take any pictures whilst it was out.”

It did look like just the kind of place that Claire was hoping to find. A sleepy town on the coast near to the ocean that she missed so much, without the madness and chaos of New York.

“What are they like with strangers?” she asked. “I know that small towns can have that kind of mentality sometimes. They don’t like incomers.”

“Well, they were perfectly welcoming to me and Pen and Charlie,” Desmond said. “I don’t think it’s that small a town. It just feels like it’s tiny in comparison to New York. I think you’d get on well there, all three of you.”

“That may be, Desmond, but remember that we’re not exactly the same kind of traditional nuclear family that you, Penny and Charlie are.”

“You’ll be fine,” Desmond said. “Honestly. Look, why don’t you just go for a visit? There’s a nice inn there; stay for a couple of days, say that you’re looking at moving to the area and you want to get a feel for the place. If you don’t like it, or if you don’t feel that the locals are going to be welcoming or accepting, then you don’t have to go there. It’s just a suggestion.”

Claire thought about it for a long time.

“No, I think that’s a good idea. We wouldn’t move to somewhere without doing any reconnaissance first.”

“I’m sure you’ll like it. I have a sixth sense about these things, you know.”

Claire laughed. “Don’t tell me, you’ve already seen a flash of the future with us living in Storybrooke happily ever after.”

“No. The flashes are a thing of the past now, pun unintended. Just call it a hunch.”

Claire continued to flick through the photos. A lot of them were of Penny and Charlie in various places around the town, but there were some of the scenery as well, and a few did even have sunny skies in the background. It was as good a place as any to start their search for a new home.