jasperlion

[jasperlion]

Sometimes I Play Other Games

[jasperlion]

@heartwilled made good and cool points about Alm and Edelgard potential interactions and I think they're so real for it but also this is what my brain came up with last night and i could not sleep for hours bc I was trying so hard not to laugh

[jasperlion]

[ Dialogue from another game pingponging in my head because it is painfully very Alm, in the sense that it is something that is rattling in his head and painfully stabbing him emotionally ever since he found out his whole life was built on lies. Among the probably thousands of things running through his head is the fact that... nothing will ever be the same between himself and his friends. Never again. It's a sentiment that was growing in him with dread through the story, which he tried to express to no avail to his friends because he could not find the right words. He wasn't even sure WHY he was feeling that way either.

Alm: That’s what concerns me. Something’s been bothering me lately. Something I can’t shake. It feels like every victory I secure takes me one step further from Zofia. Tobin: Ha! Am I allowed to point out that that’s literally what’s happening? We’re a long way from Ram Village, kid. Look, I’m worried too. About my family, about everyone else we left behind… I miss them all terribly, so I get that you’re homesick. But that’s okay, Alm. Alm: Thanks, but…I’m afraid that’s not what this is, Tobin. This is…different. *sigh*

Which, well, he felt that way specifically for many, many reasons, but I was talking to Bern about it earlier too that it's just... some of it is just that things will just never be the same. As he tells Faye... he doesn't think he can truly just go back to what he considers Home, not anymore. He mentions wanting this to Celica when they're having their argument, and later in the story when he can have his frank conversation with Faye (A), he realizes it's just... a pretty thought. Even if it's home to him (and Celica, too, who also cannot return to it in the same way he can't, even if it is their mutual home), he just... can't.

(End of Act 2) Alm: No, it’s not like that at all, Celica! I just want to keep Zofia SAFE! Besides, there’s an heir. A princess of the royal family may have survived. If she turned up and fixed all this, I’d happily return to Ram. You could…come with me, you know? It’d be like old times. (A Rank with Faye) Alm: I’m sorry, Faye, but…no. I’m not going back to the village. I can’t. Not anymore. There are too many things left for me to do. But I’ll always be thankful for you and all my friends back home. I never would have found my place in the world if it wasn’t for you. You’re very special to me, Faye. Just…not in the way you want. So knowing all that, will you keep journeying with me anyway? (Act 5) Celica: And this is the only means I have of ensuring that comes to pass. So again, Alm—I’m sorry. I wish it could have been different. I always have. I wish I could have gone home to the village and lived there with you.

Even if he stays friends with everyone from Ram, with everyone he has befriended along the way, things can never, ever be the same. Many of these friendships, especially those he treasures most, were built upon the premise that he was just like them. And, of course, they obviously are, because class is a social construct... but they exist within it. There are rules in the way. There are duties in the way. He can't just drop everything one day to go to the lake and skip rocks with his friends, and even if he did there's that Knowledge there that basically has him exist as separate, in opulence he doesn't like and within constraints he does not enjoy.

Yes, Alm would try to make the most of his position to make Valentia a better, and fairer, place where class has less and less importance, but it still ends with him and Celica at the helm this incredibly herculean task no one had ever done before. Things can't go back to yesterday, it can't just be something everyone around him can ignore and they can go on with being friends as they used to, the exact same way. Try as they all might, because it matters.

In the end, the dream and wish that things could just be the same they always had been is a dream in the end, and one of the many, many things Alm struggles with as he steps up from being a farmboy put in charge of an army to an... Emperor, suddenly. Of a whole other nation he barely even knows.

Anyway said dialogue that got me thinking about this is from Deltarune Chapter 4, which I will put under a readmore now.

Hey, Kris... ... Can I tell you ... a stupid dream I have? ... No matter what I... want to keep being friends with you and Ralsei. When the sun comes up again... I want tomorrow to be the same as yesterday. And the next day to be just the same as that. That in the end... We can always go back to the way things were before.

]

[jasperlion]

"Oh! No worries! It isn't really your fault... you don't remember—! And, well, maybe you didn't even know in the first place." Alm smiles, tries to give his companion a little encouragement. Can't fault her for that! Or anything, really, he's the one who basically ran into her and started asking questions. "But, well, it'd be nice to have a research buddy! Whenever you're up for it." They might not even find what they were looking for, in the end, but it would be nice to learn things about Plegia and her neighbours!

... Maybe. Robin doesn't look comfortable. Or maybe he's misreading it? It might just be that this whole situation is kind of awkward. Here's some guy she's read of about in dusty old tomes asking her about stuff she has no clue about! A perfectly normal event to happen to you at the library. (Only in Askr, hah.)

"Yeah! That Thabes. It was already a mess by the time we got there, sinking into the desert and all, so I guess I'm not surprised it's just... up and gone by your time." Maybe the buildings that were left were just buried, but it might as well be the same as the city being in a grave. ... The morbid thought is kicked aside before it can settle in further, instead briefly brightening his thoughts with the funny title the future gave Marth, as well (Hero King did sound a little cooler than Saint King, it suited the guy as far as he knew).

Still, there's no escaping the whole reason he was snooping around about Grima in the first place.

Without the notebook to fiddle around and calm his own nerves, Alm clasps his hands together, trying desperately to not soak in the nervous energy he can feel from his companion. It doesn't make it any easier to keep his expression calm, not when he feels dread gripping his heart like a pair of jaws. "Yes, I... believe it is this man's perspective. The bits about how Grima was... made." It's a miracle that his voice does not shudder with the weight he suddenly feels again, but Alm cannot help but avert his gaze to the side. Away from someone whom he might have wronged, away from the hands that wrought that upon the world, and to the floor.

It's a fair question to ask. She deserves an answer. In that moment, he felt he owed her, and the future, the world. Maybe he truly did.

"Grima's escape from Thabes, I... I think that was my fault. Or, at least, my actions may have either... slowed him down or made it happen sooner." Alm admits, deciding to swallow his feelings and accept whatever Robin's might be. Much as he desperately wants to explain, elaborate, or even lay out his reasoning... it was probably best to just lay it as simply as possible. The research buddies thing was probably a bust at this point, and he'd respect that. Hands clasped tighter, gripping enough to hurt, he once more makes himself look her way.

"I... removed the seal in the fifth floor. Even if I did strike Grima down with Falchion, it doesn't change that fact." Nor the fact that it was, apparently, temporary, and he really should have listened to his gut about it. He couldn't have known, but unlike Robin's situation, it... still is his fault either way, isn't it?

Much as he wants to explain himself, tell her everything, he instead settles for letting his motives for his quest for knowledge be as clear as possible. "I can't change what I did, but at least I can... try to understand its consequences."

"Of course. I'm sorry I can't be of much more help...though I suppose I could try and help you go through some of the Plegian texts here. To be honest, I was so wrapped up in reading about other things that I haven't gotten around to that portion of the library just yet." And...well, maybe she has been avoiding it, just a little. She's not ashamed of her heritage, no matter how some of the nobles in Chrom's court tried to make her so, but she feels as if it's a can of worms she's not yet ready to open. It's one thing to reconnect with her culture, or even to learn more about the theory behind dark magic. It is another to delve into the cult into which she was born--the cult which would gladly sacrificed her for Grima's return.

But that's not for Alm to worry about. If there are questions in need of answering, she can brave her unknown past.

"Thabes...I think I've heard the name before." Her brow furrows in thought as she tries to remember back to where--and what--it was. "Oh! It's said the city was built with the help of dragons, right? But it was destroyed eons ago--honestly, scholars in my time debate if it was ever real, though it shows up in legends of Hero King Marth." To have confirmation of its existence is certainly exciting, in that regard.

As for Alm and his friends' decision to explore the lost city....well, Ruya can't say it was a smart idea, but she also knows she doesn't have all that much room to talk. Still, the knowledge that Grima was down there...just what does that mean? She takes the notebook Alm offers with no small amount of trepidation, her eyes scanning the words upon the page.

"Waking and controlling the dead...that sounds much like the Risen from my time." But the more she reads, the more a pit grows in her stomach. "Dragon and human blood mixed together, the voice of the creature echoing in--is this Forneus' perspective?" A fist curls in her lap, grasping the cloth of her cloak in an unconscious search for comfort. The Brand of the Defile prickles on the back of her hand--though she hopes that she's only imagining it. "So Grima isn't a dragon per se, but a being created from the blood of dragons and humans both. But how did He escape the old city?"

[jasperlion]

"Gods, all this paperwork really sucks the fun out of reading, huh?"

"I really ought to pick up something fun to read later..."

[jasperlion]

[jasperlion]

[jasperlion]

❝𝕀 𝕤𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦!❞

Est. 05/2017. Written by Alu. Private/Selective/Multiverse/Multiship

[jasperlion]

conviction: a STRONG belief that is not likely to change, or the strong feeling that your beliefs are RIGHT.

Independent & selective & oc friendly & multi verse & multi ship & based on personal interpretation, of both Eng. & Jap. writing, Chrom from Fire Emblem: Awakening role play blog. Shepherd by yours truly Faty. Please ♥ & ↺ if you are interested in writing with blue krumbino. [ rules // about // verses ]. I do enjoy delving into other fandoms so don't worry if you are not familiar with awakening. I like to write verses for this dorking. enjoy your ride with us! because we can change anything! (currently obsessing over love and deepspace if you must know so expect deepspace himbo hunter to bother you lmao)

[jasperlion]

@shajaah writes: "Alm, can I ask you a question?" Of course, Alm had no problem with Lucina asking him one. It did confuse him at first how come she is Chrom's daughter when the man he knows is about her age. "Are you and ...miss Celica...married?" hands nervously rubbing against each other. "UM! I'm sorry if this was so forward I just erm, saw you two...happy in the spring festival, together. You looked quite beautiful if I can say so that's why I was wondering if you guys were um married." Why is she asking this though ..."Alm! When do you know you want to marry this person?" Now she is serious in her tone.

There's something about the energy Lucina radiates in her approach that makes Alm feel as if he has been set off balance before she even speaks. Of course, it's a feeling he's had to get familiar with in Askr, grappling with the idea of people here being all sorts of time apart from each other to absurd degrees, but it felt like there was more to it than this particular angle at the moment.

And then, of course, she speaks, and he can feel his stomach start to sink to his feet and cheeks burn with sudden color at the very idea that they were— gosh.

The laugh that leaves him as jittery as his nerves, his hands clasp together awkwardly, rubbing at where the ring on his finger would be were he not in battle attire. Well—

... ... ... oh! What a roundabout way to ask...! ... And what a position to be in! He's usually the one asking questions to those he thinks have more experience, not the other way around.

"Uh... well..." Great start, Your Royal Sheepishness. Alm takes a breath, rolls his shoulders, and tries to tackle his nervous cohort's questions. One step at a time.

"Ease there," he pauses. Kiddo? Buddy? "Lucina." That worked. They were, in the end, equals, and Lucina here looked a bit older than him (maybe it's that haunted look that seemed to follow her around). Trying to school his expression into a more calm and collected one, he claps his hand on her shoulder in what he hopes is reassurance and smiles. "Celica and I, well... we aren't married. Yet. Sort of. We're engaged, see? And, well, set to marry at the start of the new year back home." And Gods does he hope that when he returns he has not simply missed his wedding and whatever else may have happened in his absence... this whole Askr thing was weird and he tried not to think about it.

"As for knowing— well, if you want a more analytical perspective, you might want to ask my better half. She's a whole lot more... deliberate than I am in actions and choices. I kind of crash my way through with... straightforward sincerity, really, when it comes to matters of the heart." Knowing he hasn't quite put his best foot forward, Alm figures he might as well make a case for himself not just going on whims, whimsy and the first things that come to mind. So, he takes a breath, then taps his left index finger on his chin thoughtfully. "I know it's not helpful to say 'I just kind of knew', it wasn't just on impulse that I asked her to spend the rest of our lives together..."

But how should he put this? Well! Why not tackle the real reason behind her question? A plan of action forms in his mind.

"I figure you're asking because you've got someone on your mind, right? Well, does this person make you happy? If you try to imagine a life with them, how does that make you feel?" A pause. "You don't have to say, of course, just... try and picture it. Think about how you feel about the idea of living with them every day— even without marriage or anything official. Even just... spending the spring festival together, like Celica and I."

[jasperlion]

[jasperlion]

PICK A SONG FOR EACH LETTER OF YOUR URL.

I've done something similar before, once again trying to only use songs that suit Alm (without using SoV music). J— Jewel A— Against the Wind S— Standing Up P— Pollyanna (I Believe in You) E— Each Drop R— Romance Anonimo L— Live Life I— Insatiable O— On Your Mark N— No Reason

tagged by: i took this from @heartwilled tagging: if you are seeing this, you.

[jasperlion]

[ I know the 'villager fork' is supposed to be a... pitchfork, and that's funny imagery in itself to give to someone like Clive, but the manga taking the Actual Fork approach has lived in my head forever so it's what it is. ]

[jasperlion]

At least the corpse staring him down wasn't, you know, his own, but it was still unnerving when he knew the living Chrom.

"Uh...?"

AND he was just standing there. Menacingly. Alm crosses his arms. "Something on my face?"

" . . . " he has a familiar scent. Is this ...the master's smell? But it's odd, like ... lighter. S T A R E S EVEN MORE.

[jasperlion]

The little guy seemed so unsure... and so, so uncomfortable. It reminded him of Celica, when she had just arrived to Ram. Withdrawn, scared... at least he wasn't lashing out, too. Still, it made his heart ache for the young dragon (a dragon he... didn't exactly have a name for, actually, they should do something about that), more so at the little one's apprehension at his proffered hand.

He holds the far smaller hand as if he were holding something fragile, and smiles, though the question makes it feel like his heart and stomach dropped to the rug beneath them instantly. Gods, the kid was scared stiff, huh? "No offense, buddy, but I don't think there's anything I could do to stop you from just transforming and flying away or something." He says as he tries desperately to keep his tone light and humorous, although there was no lie in his statement. It was, well, extremely possible. "Though it'd make me really sad to see you go so soon— we only just met."

The grip, loose already as it was, loosens all the more. "You can let go anytime, okay?"

Alm tries to lead the dragon out of the room and to the hall of the place they are borrowing to rest before returning home, dispersing the crowd with a tired wave of his hand. Should the dragon be amenable, he will be lead to Alm's room for the night and... prompted to take a seat on one of the chairs. Maybe he should demonstrate? The door is, of course, left open. It invites intrusion, but he'd rather the kid doesn't feel trapped first. "Now this is a seat!"

The young dragon was purposely trying not to notice the small crowd that was starting to form just outside of the open room. Instead, he focused more on the rug, holding his legs and staring down at it while listening to Alm. What the other said made sense, except for a couple of words he hasn't quite grasped the meaning of yet. Most of the others in the group that he returned with were not as comfortable as the rest that he had tagged along. Sure, they haven't met any dragons his age, but he hasn't exactly been in social situations with humans either. It was almost a case of who's more afraid of who.

“ Um... I guess so...”

Sensing that the other was getting up, the child look up at him, a bit confused why the other was suddenly doing so. They were only sitting together for a few moments. But then, seeing the hand outstretched towards him, he only stared at it for a moment, a little unsure that he is supposed to grab it. Alm has been pretty trusting so far, being one of the very few that don't seem to be scared of him.

“um...” Deciding to join, the child also got up, cautiously grasped the other's hand. “ You're not going to lock me away, are you? ”

[jasperlion]

He's got to stop dealing with corpses...

"Uh. Hey. I was just leaving."

s t a a a r e s.

[jasperlion]

" . . . " did ...someone call him?