#one of you I have approached irl
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Ok consider:
A new hero emerges and the Justice League watches him for a while who make sure he’s not a threat. They see this giant clumsy man who moves like he’s not used to his body, smiles goofily every time he saves someone, and is clearly inexperienced with his powers and they’re all just like. Ah. This is a child.
Except they don’t think he’s a ten year old or however old Billy is at the time, no no. Clearly this hero came into existence shortly before his first appearance, just a few months ago. They don’t know how or why but It’s not the weirdest thing they’ve seen so it’s pretty easy to believe.
But they can’t just leave this toddler with the powers of a god to stumble around and potentially hurt someone by accident, nor go down the wrong path and become a villain. So of course they decide to ‘subtly’ guide him without alerting him to the fact they’re onto him.
They introduce themselves but instead of inviting him to the league they pop by every once in a while to ‘subtly’ teach him about responsibility and power, but also about love and humanity. They try to teach him to enjoy life and that he doesn’t have to act like an adult around them, instead encouraging him to enjoy his childhood even if it’s not an ordinary one.
(Too bad the Justice League suck at subtlety.)
Billy is certain they somehow found out he’s a kid before they even met him, probably because of Batman’s freaky know-it-all powers, but he isn’t very worried as they seem nice and don’t treat him like he’s dumb or fragile. They respect him as a hero despite his age so he lets himself act like a kid around them after a while.
When he gets comfortable enough to detransform Billy thinks that’s his identity reveal. The league thinks that he magicked himself a body that’s more of a representation of his true self and fits his developmental age better, possibly as a way to blend in with humans and experience what it’s like to be a normal child. Good for him!
Basically Billy gets a bunch of super powered parents and the Justice League get a newborn man that they think they’re raising from scratch lol
#billy batson#shazam#dc#dc captain marvel#justice league#fanfiction#fanfic#dcu#Diana’s idea of subtly teaching responsibility is to attack him before ever introducing herself#Billy’s happily helping a cat out of a tree then sees a sword rapidly approaching his face held by a terrifying woman#it ends with them both getting ice cream and discussing his tactics#Clark was one of the very few reasonable ones and just gave advice#hes not very subtle though#I mean have you seen him? he’s the most recognizable figure on earth#he’s often spotted on rooftops sharing homemade sandwhiches with Marvel as a way to encourage him to take breaks and be social#Surprisingly the most famous group of people in America who do flips in colourful spandex all day aren’t exactly masters of subtlety#Bruce tried to do an irl trolley problem to see how he would handle it#it was rigged so no one would get hurt and all the victims were well paid actors of course#but Billy didn’t know that#he stopped the trolley with his bare hands#he didn’t even consider any other option#he did not go to school so he's never heard of the problem and didn't even realize there WAS another option#Bruce nodded approvingly but was honsetly kind of disappointed#he wanted to know how a toddler with above average morals would solve it the intended way#maybe he’ll try it on Jon next#My writing
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dedue: animals don't like me. it must be my face
byleth "stop looking at me like that" eisner: I know exactly what you mean. let me help
#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#dedue molinaro#byleth#as a Horse Guy TM in irl I had no choice but to project that onto my byleth#horses tend to get nervous if you make direct eye contact and walk straight towards them bc they interpret it as aggression#some horses react more strongly than others. my horse didn't really give a shit but some of them freak out#one horse I worked with wouldn't let me get close at all unless I literally approached sideways and stared at a random point in the distanc#I think byleth learned all this as a kid bc he wanted to visit the horses but they didn't like the Byleth Eyes#so he figured it out and now he's really good at teaching horsemanship#anyway dedue ended up as a great knight in my AM run and I was So Fucking Proud Of Him#guy of all time you WILL have animals love you
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.
#tw sh#the one from a fortnight ago. which i have told nobody irl about including the person to which i showed the first one. is still thinking#about healing and not really doing it yet. it'll get there. might have to wear a bandage or smth on placement#if we were going into winter i would think there was a serious concern of doing it a bunch more but for now i know i absolutely cannot#because it will be visible.#i mean it already will but im gonna pretend it was from months ago and hopefully deflect questions about just how i got such scars#actually the one that i think approached muscle is surprisingly close to healed and probably going to scar surprisingly little#the other one is simply too fresh still to know how it'll scar#should've taken progress pictures to monitor healing but was too scared others would accidentally see it#didn't want to traumatise folks#honestly was genuinely tempted to take one (1) photo of the more recent one and post on my secret sh tumblr but i talked myself out of that#anyway im fine#personal#puddleglum hours#yesterday dad hugged me and patted my arm and it was LITERALLY directly on top of the fresher one but i was able to Not flinch#fun fact: when you go that deep it is in fact Less painful than a few layers shallower#which i found to my own concern the first time and was freaking out thinking id done something nerve-related#anyway yes i really am fine prommy#fessed up to my doc about self harming anyway#and technically unless muscle is involved it is clinically described as superficial#(fat layer is the one where they will nearly always consider sutures necessary but some shallower will be dependent on how much they gape)#but also because of how much blood there is every time you kinda have to spend longer making sure you're not gonna bleed all over everythin#so that also stops me bc oh it's nearly midnight i cannot devote like two hours or three to making sure i don't wake up in a puddle of bloo#(hyperbole)#anyway in some ways i find this funny. probably should be vaguely concerned. but eh
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it is a bit fucked that the main hurdle in this fandom is people not accepting that something that happened in the story was at the very least not consensual. despite explicit "i don't want this" just. being right there. in the text.
#benvey (not at all) vaguely bitching and moaning hour#between “the mind doesn't understand but the body does” and “if this was irl i'd consider it sa but i don't here because ???" the amount#of mental gymnastics i've seen is fascinating but very tiring. like. the baseline is that even if the author one day decides to drop the#ambiguity and just say “what happened was okay” that would be something worth criticizing and analyzing in itself wouldn't it?#and fine whatever i don't particularly care how people read the story for their own enjoyment. it's interesting to think about the whys but#you do you. i curate my space you curate yours. but of course not everyone does that and you get the same arguments and all these#attempts at convincing you that no no it was okay and sometimes there's an understandable expectation of a friendly conversation#on the topic. i guess. but all i can really think is “your understanding of consent is horrid” or just wonder why the person#even wants to talk to me when they have the “this is fiction” or “true love” approach which i clearly don't share. whatever!#anyways mother's gone home alone time. yuppie
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To me Law is like a cat in that when he wants your attention it'll swing wildly between just wanting to be in your viscinity to just. Inserting himself in whatever you're doing until you give up and pay attention to him
THIS IS SO REAL THIS IS SO REAL. someone put this man in cat ears STAT
#.jesterasks#i have four cats irl and all of them are incredibly needy#you know that thing cats do when they want in your lap and your pushing their head away but they keep squirming and inching closer#imagining that with law#youre pushing on his chest and he keeps approaching with a shit eating smirk because he WILL be the one who wins this#also parallel play with law isnt a want anymore its a need#that one post thats like: theres no baseline for cat autism all cats are autistic#law core#i got wildly off topic here
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i love waking up and being me because i be out there interacting with people in the most ordinary and uneventful way possible and still the most innocent well-intentioned remark could set me the fuck off. A stranger guy (very normal and non-threatening) come over to make conversation and told me "there's something very calm about you which kind of makes you pretty approachable," aaaaaaand boom. Now i'm in 89% defense mood and ready to snap your neck in half if you look at me a certain way.
#and this is fucking hilarious to me because he's right! I know it!#my general vibe irl can be interpreted as calm and personable it is something that i know about myself#but also i do not want to read as approachable. It makes me feel defanged and infantalised and cheap#when i'm called approachable right off the bat. and i dont like being taken for granted as ''non-threatening''; it's not a compliment to me#to be seen as easy by people who i dont know and dont want to be ''easy'' with#(no offence whatsoever to the people who love being approachable; i have nothing against it; it's just a me thing)#i've always always hated being talked to with insincere soft words#''you're so sweet'' ''you're so cute'' ''you're seem friendly'' ''you seem approachable''#i could effectively make you throw up the name of every one of your ancestors that abandoned you before you even existed#and i'm mean enough to not care about it while i do it. Dont call me cute first thing;#cute only means something when you have the balls to acknowledge that i'm a fucking threat.#is this different with women? not likely. It's just generally demeaning when i'm called approachable unless i like the person#and want them in my space#but also all this and i know that the guy meant well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ there was objectively nothing to it#and i get yikesy about it waaay less than say. when i was 20#at 20 calling me cute was the surest way to get punched free of charge#and now i can actually rest in my own sweetness and be soft without getting cought in the discomfort of its vulnurability#but it still sets me off so fast
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I can't tell you how much I don't care about age gap discourse. I don't care that he's 700 years old and she's 17! if it's not something you could criticize in real life then I don't care! I. don't. care!
#if immortals dating teenagers makes you uncomfortable then like okay more power to you#i guess don't read/watch shit with those kinds of age gaps#but like to me it's kind of silly ro nitpick fabtastical age gaps#like there are vampires/faeries/insert immortal beings#i simply do not care to hold those kinds of stories to modern dating morality I'm not sorry#(and tbh I'm pretty forgiving of normal life age gaps if they're handled in interesting and nuanced ways#like if one character is 24 and the other is 16 but there is a moral struggle and resistance there then who cares#would i ever condone that irl? absolutely not! but fiction is fiction who fucking cares#if you personally don't want to interact with those stories then don't but imo they're not inherently problematic just by existing)#anyways that's my rant I'm tired of age gap discourse#make the age gaps larger!! a seven thousand year old wizard falling for a nineteen year old go!#(*actually i do have one caveat#I'm approaching this from an adult perspective and i understand sometimes younger readers are more impressionable#and for younger readers i actually think real life age gaps can't be explored well because younger readers often don't pick up on the nuance#and larger than life fantastical age gaps actually serve the purpose much better in YA)
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not telling anyone what to do but I kinda miss when the understanding abt multiple pronouns used to be that any are fine or different ones apply in different contexts whereas now the default assumption is you need to be constantly switching between them per sentence like that is really inaccessible for a lot of people + difficult in a second language + just genuinely defeats the linguistic object of a pronoun 😭
but I think it came from being a tme she/they who no one ever uses they for which I understand the frustration but i wish we could approach the root causes of that rather than the way I've seen ppl claim not alternating pronouns for someone midsentence is literally misgendering & honestly at the end of the day if you don't want someone to use she pronouns for you, tell them not to use she pronouns! we were all pronouns=/=gender until its "they to show I don't identify with the institution of womanhood, she to show my connection with femininity" but honestly how do you actually like being referred to, worry abt that. if u actually don't like ppl using she to refer to u then tell them that & if the discomfort is bc it shows their perception of u doesn't align w ur gender then like performative language doesnt actually change that anyway so mb if we stopped worrying about this we could actually have way more worthwhile conversations about gender.
#I also think it came from celebrities sorry#bc pronouns kind of have a different relevance in that context also im sure reading articles about yourself#is kind of a weird dehumanising experience regardless#which is easy to project as a gender thing#especially with how they'll talk about u if ur a woman or perceived as one#but yeah I think the approach some ppl take of like 'exclusively they in the context of press/talking about my career whatever' is just way#more helpful#whereas in ur personal life I think there are better ways to approach someone who doesn't see you as nb enough or whatever#also online behaviour SORRY you can always edit a comment to alternate pronouns bur speaking that way irl is really hard#bc that is not how our brains think about pronouns 😭#I specify tme bc if ur transfeminine itll be the other way around#my sisters gf finally dropped the they pronoun that she basically used to give ppl an easy out to like soft misgender her#so it's a bit like. can we have some perspective lol#and bc their uni is drowning in wealthy white theyfabs obsessed w trying to shake off their upper middle class white guilt#ppl acted like thats like less Queer.... like agsheiwojsbdnwjd I hope these ppl die. theyre all polycule ppl too
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at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/
#the thing that really got me was that they were talking about their morality ocd triggering them about it#bc of the way tumblr and the internet in general has this black and white approach to things#and one of those i guess was 'transphobes = bad' which like. is not what i'm ever talking about when i say that things have more nuance#that said i DO think that the way this website prioritizing hating terfs over supporting trans people is kinda gross#but anyway this person was so anxious about it and it just was depressing bc i related to that#they were SO afraid of losing friends or being cancelled over it and i was just like damn i wonder if all terfs are that miserable#but they acted like they just had no choice but to believe this 'thing' that they constantly alluded to but never talked outright about#which i am pretty sure now is just that they're a radfem or at least believe in a lot of radfem ideologies#and honestly? i go back and forth between genuinely feeling so bad for them and being like well that's what you fucking get#i wish i'd had the courage to talk to them about it but whenever i thought about it i got immeasurable anxiety#sorry for the very long tag ramble i just haven't been able to talk about this and it's been eating ME up too for a long time#i just feel horrible. i know in the past they've mentioned too how they want people to tell them why if they unfollow/block them#but i can't. i cannot. and then i'm afraid of just feeding into their victim complex by doing this#i just can't win. and it's like. i'm trans i am literally affected by their bigotry that they're acting like is just not even a choice#ALSO I REMEMBER HOW THEY MADE A POST ONCE ABOUT HOW PEOPLE IRL DON'T TALK ABOUT TRANS STUFF#LIEK IDK WHAT PLANET YOU ARE LIVING ON MY DUDE BUT I HAVE LIKE 5 TRANS COWORKERS AND EVERYONE IS VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM#like maybe YOU live in a bad area#but you're just a really loud minority#anyway. yeah. just. oof.#still feeling some kind of anxiety about it#win rambles
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I cannot find a specific writing on here but anyway I miss oc stuff
#vin and victor where you at#i just found the doc#drives me insane if i cant actually find it here too#saga shush#also im getting distracted this is not the time rn#whatever stuff my way can be AFTER finals#ill be ready then#these past few months have just...been a lot irl#but things will settle more in two weeks#then anything else will be more approachable#its fine#also more are maybe???#especially ones i havent posted???
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Zeveryone is so scary. Everything is so scary. im scared of everyone and everything i am hiding in my little corner forever and ever until planet earth explodes
#thinking about that post about friends and oohohiohoguvifh god eyah#what i would give to be able to talk to literally any of my mutuals without detonating#you guys are literally so cool if i fucked it up i would kms#again with the fish thing#seeing the way everyone interacts with each other is so interesting bc i feel like ive being completely incapable of having those#relationships#i see people talking about dms and having inside jokes and finding their People in the strawberry asks and i am absolutely fascinated#how do you DO THAT ???#genuinely i want to study those techniques so i can learn how to approach a friendship that way#i hate that human relationships are the one thing i can’t watch and learn from because you have to make human relationships to study them#and that’s such a fucked up reason to make a friend???#my one irl friend told me she befriended me to study me a little and like it’s funny when it’s me bc i am so studyable#but i would feel so bad experimenting with real actual people#even saying it like that sounds bad#radiohead wrote creep about me#I’m like loser premium#literally a jonathan kinnie…
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i need there to be a gay bar or club near me like i need air to breathe i think
#the nearest one is in * and ccording to reviews is mostly for older men which like slay that they have a space but wheeeerreee are the DYKES#the ads lieedddddd where are the hot singles in my area :( where are yhe babes interested in chatting etc etc#i am drunk btw baby had their second bar crawl except i stood in line for one bar yhen met my friends at a different bar? close enough#had a single drink with like 3 shots worth of alcohol and sippies of mt friend's Big Specialty Shot (delicious) and was approached by 2 men#then we went home after almost getting a free drink for yhe road :( but he couldn't get yhe bartender's attention and i felt bad. alas.#but yeah i need more irl gay friends who like barhopping and also more single gay woman friends perhaps. maybe plus qu'amies qui peut dire..#(if the french is wrong sorry. i am intoxicated.)#anyway peace and love i <3 you all and i hope you havr a beautiful friday 🫶#a post
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Hm I want to say nice things about you today too >:0
You are genuinely so fun to talk to, I was a bit scared to interact with you at first and tbh I don’t actually know what broke the ice originally?? But like you’re so easygoing that I warmed up to you really fast which is kinda a feat of it own
I’m pretty sure I knew you from dailymumbo first and when you followed me I was like ‘weasel???? 👀’. Your arts so fun and expressive, you’ve got a really distinct style that I can recognize even if it’s for something I know nothing about. Your choice of color is So tasty and I want to eat the art you render fr. (your designs are also so adorable and fun too, still obsessed with conure grian)
and ye you turned me into a real mumbo appreciator too so thanks for that :)
you’ve also helped me come out of my shell a bit more too which is really cool okay I run away now
*me reading this with a growing smile and the gruesome sounds of markiplier playing callisto protocol in my ear* AJSHKDF
ROOOO IM GONNA *PUNCHING AND KICKING THE AIR IN FRONT OF YOU* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUU i also dont remember what got us talking but i do remember seeing your art page reblogging some of my stuff and getting excited and then it took a while after that to discover your main actually liking it paha XD i have absolutely shit memory but i am really super grateful to have such an easy n fun time talkin with you :D and little tag messages are so fun w you akjdhsf ESPECIALLY SINCE I REALLY LOVE YOUR ART I WAS KINDA SCARED OF YOU TO BEGIN WITH I SAW YOU AS A REALLY COOL INTIMIDATING ARTIST ASDHJKF turns out we have a lot of interests in common meaning youre just as lame as me 😈😈😈😈 mwahahahah
i really love your use of dark and bold colors, it makes your style super unique i think and it's something i really struggle with XD so i use the .. lighter brighter colors X) and then your absolutely superb animals and dragons and things and all your designs youre literally so cool please akdhjsfhsfa BUT AGAIN THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES. ROO IM. *CONTINUES SHADOWBOXING IN FRONT OF YOU OUT OF DIFFICULTY TAKING COMPLIMENTS* RARARGHGHG
#SOCIALLY ANXIOUS BITCHES UNITE 🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝#irl i come off as incredibly cold i think#bc i? like dont make any moves to talk first usually?#and like if it's in class time to work i will become very focused and put headphones in yea. just like not approachable at all#but by nature i cannot stop myself from cracking jokes sometimes and thats what usually gets people to like. approach me.?#and im glad that at least online i dont come off as cold is what im trying to get at X)? i think?#so im grateful for anyone and everyone i get to talk to online but im even more excited to have helped you get out of your shell too :D#MAN. BIG SAPPY HOURS#i used to do this thing before covid in highschool id go to shake peoples hands#or like friends right so it's fine it's all for a joke anyway#but then instead of shaking their hand i'd smack it really hard and hold on tight and reel them in quick to a one arm hug#and then if i knew them better id smack them on the back adskhf SO THATS WHAT IM DOING TO YOU RN#IM GOING FOR A HANDSHAKE REEL IN BACK SMACK HAHAHA#no i dont know how to hug 😇#weasel speaks#asks!
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every day i wake up abd i see your yakuza posts and its like a daily occurrence
the sun is shining so nicely today :) and i open my phone is the furst thing i see is “i wish kiryu would let me suck him” abd i feel fulfilled
this blog is how i learned about yakuza and i want nothing more than to see it from you
You guys are literally so nice to me... every day i think to myself maybe i wont be so horny to spare my followers from the whorrors and then i open tumblr and immediately type some shit like i wanna strap metal bands to his ankles and deglove his legs with electricity and hit post without even thinking maybe i should give the keyboard a rest today ... i hope every day after this one is beautiful for you .... grins
#Thanks for the ask !#you got me down so well like yeah i do wish kiryu would let me suck him#but if he doesnt then ill just have to do it within a split second so that he doesnt notice#like a lightning strike on his groin. quick attack on his inner labia. one suck and i have his pants back up whistling innocently with my#hands tucked into my pockets and he regards me with suspicion before he unzips his pants to see and ive left him a small box of chocoates#and a love letter and he reads it with one hand while i hug his other arm and blink wetly at him like a seal and then he says sorry i just#dont feel the same way. and i say at least keep the chocolates ..? and he thinks for a moment before going no thank you#and he walks away and then when he rounds a corner he drops my beautiful handcrafted letter into the bin and the camera zooms in on it and#it just says any1 up? who wants 2 suck me#kiryu sees me around often and he approaches me one day like hey are you my new neighbour ? and i go im your stalker#i will catch sight of him coming down the street then i will start squealing and giggling and running back to my house to sift through my#belongings and bring a cinderblock out to the balcony so i can throw it directly at his head then call the ambulance so i can ride inside#with him and watch him concussed as hell with his eyes rolling in his head and i go it will be okay kiryu !!! and he goes mfrrgh#im crawling into the hospital bed with him so i can hug his arm and kiss his shoulder all day and he mumbles that he needs to go to the#toilet and i nod in understanding and kneel at the foot of the bed with my mouth open and he gets angry at me#how nice would kiryu be to hug he is so big and burly and so much space on his beautiful skin for kissing and bite marks. he lifts up his#hospital gown to piss and ive already dove between his legs and started sucking the goop straight out the cervical tap. im jumpscaring him#its like a majima everywhere event but instesd of fighting him i crawl out the sewer and attach my teeth to his ankles and dont let go no#matter how much he shouts at or kicks me because im giggling and so happy we are hanging out#i say all this but if i knew kiryu irl he would be my sweet baby boy who i would go out of my way to give massive discounts to (i work at#the m store and always throw in some free hair gel for him)
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#p sure i've said this before but god it really does feel bad sometimes to be like the most Perpetually Single person in my circle of friend#like of everyone i know here i'm pretty sure the grand majority are in serious relationships & even the currently single ones have dated b4#and meanwhile i'm over here approaching my 30's and haven't even so much as held hands with anyone. and i doubt that's changing anytime soo#hell even outside of dating i have basically zero actual like. meaningful positive IRL connections#idk why this is suddenly hitting me so hard right now. maybe just because i'm stressed about having to go visit my mom this weekend#personal#negative#like if you read i guess
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