#if immortals dating teenagers makes you uncomfortable then like okay more power to you

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

I can't tell you how much I don't care about age gap discourse. I don't care that he's 700 years old and she's 17! if it's not something you could criticize in real life then I don't care! I. don't. care!

[seaweed-brain2-0]

Not only is it Percy Jackson's birthday today, it is also Percabeth's (12th??) Anniversary, so here are some of the best Percabeth moments in PJO and PJO alone. [The light blue is just me being me]

“You drool when you sleep.” (obviously)

“Me, go with you on the… the ‘Thrill Ride of Love’? How embarrassing is that? What if someone saw me?” (It was at this scene when I knew, these two would be my comfort couple in the future)

“I don’t know what my mom will do, I just know I’ll fight next to you.” “Why?” “Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?”

Annabeth’s shroud was so beautiful—gray silk with embroidered owls—I told her it seemed a shame not to bury her in it. She punched me and told me to shut up. (ah, young love)

PERCY CARRYING AROUND ANNABETHS PICTURE IN HIS NOTEBOOK TO REMIND HIMSELF THAT SHE WAS REAL no i’m not taking this one straight from the book, the paragraph is too long.

But whenever Annabeth talked about the time she spent with them, I kind of felt . . . I don’t know. Uncomfortable? No. That’s not the word. The word was jealous. (and it still took him four years to realize he was in love with her??)

She looked good. Really good. I probably would’ve been tongue-tied if I could’ve said anything except ‘reet, reet, reet’.

She tackled me with a hug, then pulled away just as quickly. “I’m glad you’re not a guinea pig.” “Me, too.” I hoped my face wasn’t as red as it felt. (nine year old me is SCREAMING)

“I’ll get us back to the ship,” I told her. “It’s okay. Just hang on.” Annabeth nodded to let me know she was better now, and then she murmured something I couldn’t hear because of the plugs in my ears. (THE INTIMACY)

The crowd cheered. Annabeth planted a kiss on my cheek. The roaring got a lot louder after that. (THEIR FIRST KISS DFGHJNBGVFDFGH why am I still fangirling over this, I've seen them kiss a billion times-)

“Um, who should I ask?” She punched me in the gut. “Me, Seaweed Brain.” “Oh. Oh, right.” (✨slow dance✨)

[Aphrodite] When she smiled at me, just for a moment she looked a little like Annabeth. (I repeat: AND IT STILL TOOK HIM FOUR YEARS TO REALIZE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER????)

“You didn’t believe I was dead?” “Never.” (I believe I was dead at this point)

“I, uh, was thinking we got interrupted at Westover Hall. And . . . I think I owe you a dance.” She smiled slowly. “All right, Seaweed Brain.” (✨slow dance✨ part two *more screaming*)

“Think positive. Tomorrow you’re off to camp! After orientation you’ve got your date—”

“It’s not a date!” I protested.”It’s just Annabeth, Mom. Jeez!”

“She’s coming all the way from camp to meet you.”

“Well, yeah.”

“You’re going to the movies.”

“Yeah."

“Just the two of you.”

“Mom!”

She held up her hands in surrender, but I could tell she was trying hard not to smile. (this whole scene deserved to be in here and you know it)

“Hey, it’s . . . it’s okay.” I patted her on the back. I was aware of everything in the room . I felt like I could read the tiniest print on any book on the shelves. Annabeth’s hair smelled like lemon soap. Behind me, somebody cleared his throat. It was one of Annabeth’s half-brothers, Malcolm. His face was bright red. I stepped away from Annabeth “We were just looking at maps,” I said stupidly. (imagine falling madly in love with Annabeth Chase and not knowing it until she kisses you, couldn't be me 😐)

Annabeth glared at me like she was going to punch me. And then she did something that surprised me even more. She kissed me. (*screaming intensifies*)

Annabeth and I pretty much skirted around each other. I was glad to be with her, but it also kind of hurt, and it hurt when I wasn’t with her, too. (I've just given up on screaming at Percy for not realizing his feelings sooner 😐🔫)

Annabeth wiped a tear from her cheek. “I’m glad you’re not dead, Seaweed Brain.” “Thanks,” I said. “Me too.” (you know what I'm not glad about? Beckendorf's death 😃👍🏽)

We locked eyes. I thought of a different time last summer, under Mount St. Helen's, when Annabeth thought I was going to die and she kissed me. She cleared her throat and looked away. “Prophecy.” “Right. Prophecy.” (ahaha pain)

Malcolm grinned at me. “We’ll wait outside while you finish inspection.” The Athena campers filed out the door while Annabeth cleaned up her bunk. I shuffled uneasily and pretended to go through some more reports. Technically, even on inspection, it was against camp rules for two campers to be . . . like, alone in a cabin. That rule had come up a lot when Silena and Beckendorf started dating. Anyway, for some strange reason I was thinking about this as I watched Annabeth straighten up. (fOr sOmE rEaSoN)

“Hold on, Seaweed Brain.” It was Annabeth’s voice, much clearer now. “You’re not getting away from me that easily.” (*sobs*)

“I’ll go with Percy,” Annabeth said. “Then we’ll join you, or we’ll go wherever we’re needed.” Somebody in the back of the group said, “No detours you two.” (stop saving the world and go make out 🙄)

Before I could lose my courage, I said, “Don’t I get a kiss for luck? It’s kind of a tradition, right?” I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. “Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then we’ll see.” (AND COME BACK ALIVE, HE DID)

“You’re cute when you’re worried,” she muttered. “Your eyebrows get all scrunched together.”

“You are not going to die while I owe you a favor,” I said. “Why did you take that knife?”

“You would’ve done the same for me.” (HOLY F U C K)

I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. But this was Annabeth. If I couldn’t trust her, I couldn’t trust anyone. (goodnight.)

I glanced back. Annabeth was trying not to meet my eyes. Her face was pale. I flashed back to two years ago, when I’d thought she was going to take the pledge to Artemis and become a Hunter. I’d been on the edge of a panic attack, thinking that I’d lose her. Now, she looked pretty much the same way. I thought about the Three Fates, and the way I’d seen my life flash by. I could avoid all that. No aging, no death, no body in the grave. I could be a teenager forever, in top condition, powerful, and immortal, serving my father. I could have power and eternal life. Who could refuse that? Then I looked at Annabeth again. I thought about my friends from camp: Charles Beckendorf, Michael Yew, Silena Beauregard, so many other who were now dead. I thought about Ethan Nakamura and Luke. And I knew what I had to do. “No,” I said. “I’m honored and everything. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just . . . I’ve got a lot of life left to live. I’d hate to peak in my sophomore year.” The gods were glaring at me, but Annabeth had her hands over her mouth. Her eyes were shining. And that kind of made up for it. (THIS WHOLE SCENE RUINED MY PERCEPTION OF MEN. THEY ARE, IN FACT, NOT AS PERFECT AS PERCY)

“I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.” When she kissed me, I had the feeling my brain was melting right through my body. (I'M MELTING)

We held hands right up to the moment they dumped us in the water. Afterward, I had the last laugh. I made an air bubble at the bottom of the lake. Our friends kept waiting for us to come up, but hey—when you’re the son of Poseidon, you don’t have to hurry. And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time. (DFGHJHGFDFGHJNHGFDFGHJNBVCFGHJMNBVCFKIJUHYGT I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER RECOVER FROM THIS ITS TOO PERFECT GOODBYE FOREVER)

[threshasaurus-writes]

My SPN Fics by Ship (Gen Included)

I now have 85 Supernatural fics on AO3. I’m a multishipper and I thought it would be fun to see how those fics break down by ship. A few of them will repeat since they feature more than one ship, so you can scroll to the ship you’re interested in and see what’s there. 

WIP chapter fics = ✍️ Completed fics = ✅ Contains art/cover art = 🎨 Explicit = 🔥 Podfic Link Included  = 🔊 Newest fics = 🆕

Here goes the list!

Gen (No Ship)

✅🆕 The Right Thing - Dean can’t sleep after helping put down some vampires that look like children. The hunter involved in the case reminds Dean uncomfortably of himself -- and her vampire sister they just put down reminded him of Sam.

✅ The Evil Itch - Jack’s wings are itchy, and he’s worried something is terribly wrong with them.

✍️ The Biggest Heart - Through some magic mishaps, Jack is 40 feet tall, and will no longer fit inside the bunker. Sam keeps him company outside while Dean and Cas try to figure out a cure to the spell.

✅🎨 De-aged Dean 4: Duckie Dilemma - Sam coaxes Dean, who is still de-aged to four years old thanks to a witch, into taking a bath and a nap. Dean gets very attached to a cute rubber duckie in the process. 

✅ Whiskey and Wool - Dean is hurt on a Wendigo hunt, and the weather's too dangerous to drive down the mountain in. Sam patches him up and they settle in for a night in the Impala.

✅🔊 A Little More Time - Cas tells stories to Sam’s little herb garden at night, thinking the boys are asleep and won’t hear him. Podfic Version Here

✅🔊 Who’s Counting? - Sam learns that Jack can count the number of hugs he's ever had on his fingers. Podfic Version Here

✅🔊 Of Bees and Necromancy - Bees are officially extinct, and Castiel is despondent over it. Sam and Dean try a spell to bring the bees back, but instead accidentally create zom-bees. Podfic Version Here

✅ Always - Teenage Dean saves his kid brother from a monster and makes him a promise.

✅ Devil’s Advocate - Sam muses about Jess and college…and Lucifer and Hell.

✅🎨 De-aged Dean 3: Comfort Bacon - After a witch hunt gone awry, Castiel comes home with a four-year-old Dean who won’t speak. Sam and Cas do their best to reassure him everything will be okay.

✅🎨 De-aged Dean 2: Small Smiles - Castiel drives quiet four-year-old Dean home in the Impala, and tries ways to get him to smile. Sequel to my little fic Suddenly Small, where Dean gets de-aged.

✅🎨 De-aged Dean 1: Suddenly Small - In a witch hunt case-gone-awry, Dean has de-aged into a little boy who doesn’t really talk. Castiel gives him his coat as a security blanket.

✅ Last Words - It’s been weeks since Jack died, so why does he keep visiting Sam every night?

✅ Feather Pillows - After a night time case gone wrong nearly kills Sam, he and Dean and Castiel retreat to a motel to sleep through the day. Everybody's a little shaken up still, though. Sequel to Barbed Wire. 

✅ Aches - The night after returning from the past and learning that Lucifer is possessing Castiel, Dean can’t sleep. Turns out Sam can’t either. 

✅ After Heaven - Jack returns from helping Heaven make new angels with his powers, and Sam, Dean and Castiel learn that he visited his mother while he was there. 

✅ Nothing Serious - After several hunts that end in injuries, Sam realizes Dean thinks he deserves it when he gets hurt, and that it ties back to John. 

✅ Strangers - Mary's having trouble adjusting to life after death - and she's not all that died in 1983. 

✅ Barbed Wire - Sam is ensnared in a constricting, soul-shredding trap, and Dean and Cas resort to torturous measures to save him.

✅ Co-sleeping - Sam finds Jack crying in the middle of the night and is reminded that the nephilim is just a baby, no matter what age he looks.

✅🎨 The New Horizon - Sam and Dean and John go into stasis on a colony mission to Mars, but something goes horribly wrong, and that something is John. (Concept ficlet.)

✅ Magic Carpet - Baby needs a bath. Dean needs sleep. This car wash attendant needs a raise.

✅ Saving Juliet - If there was one thing Sam would never have guessed he’d be doing with his Friday night, it was playing veterinarian to Crowley's favorite Hellhound.

✅🎨 Unnecessary - Sam insists on patching up Castiel's injuries, even though they'll heal in a day or two anyway. Cas considers why.

✅ Carnival Memories - Sam and Dean drag Cas to a carnival. Cas does not see the appeal.

✅ Threads - When Sam is badly wounded during a hunt, a newly human Castiel tries to save him without healing powers.

✅ The Chills - When Dean gets whammied by "magic flu" that Cas can't cure, he's stuck on bed rest until it wears off on its own.

✅ A Favor - Something’s bothering Dean. He loves Cas — really loves him. Loves him too much to be just brothers, he thinks. There’s only one way to know for sure.

✅ Night Light - After Cas uses up the last of his grace saving Sam’s life, the brothers try to help him adjust to his now-permanent humanity. For an ex-angel, falling asleep feels a little too much like dying.

✅ Broken Wings - Sam finds a way to see angels' wings, helping them identify who is an angel on sight. He doesn't realize just how damaged Cas's wings are from Metatron's spell until he sees it for himself, though.

Destiel

✍️🎨🔥 8 Reasons - Space pilot Dean is caught trying to break Sam out of prison, and ends up tossed into a cell with a half-man, half tentacly monster alien. Now Rated Explicit; blame chapter 9. 

✅🆕 Tbbloboerne and Edibles - A suspicious package arrives on Cas's dorm room doorstep addressed to his roommate Dean. Cas thinks the contents are a death threat.

✅🔥 Can’t Wait Anymore - Dean’s leg is hurt, and newly human Cas can’t heal it, so it’s up to Sam to drive the Impala home from their latest work-related road trip (and to try not to strangle both of them for how they’re handling the situation.) Meanwhile, Dean really, really needs to pee.

✅ Never and Always - Dean looks back on how he’s treated Cas over the years, and he’s got a lot of regrets.

✅🎨🔊 Seashell Hearts - The story of a merman named Dean who got caught in a fishing net, and the human named Cas who saved him. Prepare for a cuteness-induced toothache, and enjoy the accompanying chibi artwork. Podfic Version Here

✅🔊 Back Asswards - People still mistake Sam and Dean for a couple. Dean is irked they don't assume he and Cas are a couple, because they actually are. Sam can't pass up the chance to tease his brother a little. Podfic Version Here

✅ Little - Cas tells Dean how it feels to be immortal and in love with a human. 

✅🎨 Winter Wonder Hell - When Crowley blames Team Free Will for Hell freezing over, they know they’re not going to have a silent night or any peace on earth. 

✅🔥 Something More - Cas lets Dean touch his wings, and neither of them expect the kinky response. 

✅🎨 Moon Eyes - Dean is the key to Castiel's revenge on Heaven. (Concept ficlet.)

✅🎨 Trust Exercises - Sam and Crowley have been dating, much to Dean’s dismay. When they decide to go to a couple’s retreat in the middle of the woods, Dean and Cas pose as a couple to keep an eye on them.

✅ Factory Reset - Castiel has lived with Sam and Dean for years when his hold on his vessel starts to slip. Sam can see what Dean’s love blinds him to: Heaven is overriding Cas’s programming. (Concept ficlet.)

✅ Sam Squared - When a spell goes wrong, Sam is split into two people, each with half of his soul — and half the morality that comes with it. The halves do not get along. Dean and Castiel try to reassemble Sam before the two conflicting sides of him can cause any damage.

✅ Old Habits - Cas is human, but he still wants to watch over Dean while the hunter sleeps. Unfortunately, Cas needs to sleep now, too — and he accidentally falls asleep in Dean's bed.

✅🎨 No Time At All - Sam is in a coma. An experimental drug lets him wake up for a few hours at a time, though, and be able to visit with his brother. Dean is helpless to change Sam's situation, so Sam decides to try to change Dean's.

✅ Hand in Hand - Somebody’s slapped a symbol on Crowley that keeps him out of Hell – and that is slowly killing him. Sam wants to research a way around it, but the demon seems content just to spend his last few days in the Moose’s company.

✅ Dancing Around You -  Sam teaches Castiel to dance a few weeks before Dean’s wedding, and the angel confides in him.

✅ The Words -  Dean and Castiel give in to their desires, leaving everything unsaid. The next morning, Cas wonders if they’ve ruined what they had before.

Sastiel

✅ Change in the Cushions - Sam and Cas think back on all the memories attached to the beaten up couch in their old shared apartment. The couch they’re leaving behind. It’s been with them the entire time they dated, and now everything is about to change.

✍️🎨 Heaven Help Them - Gadreel returns from the Empty just as Sam, Dean, Castiel and Jack are trying to solve Heaven’s angel shortage. If they can overcome the past, they might just be able to secure Heaven’s future. 

✅🎨 The Night Stranger - Single dad Castiel’s car breaks down during a night time drive, stranding him and his baby son Jack in the middle of a storm. Writer Sam is researching for a horror novel when a stranger in a trench coat shows up on his doorstep...

✅🔥 I Love Yous - Sam likes to encourage Cas in bed. Cas likes to call his name.

✅ Bills, Bills, Bills - Sam wants coffee. Cas wants to talk about hummingbirds. Dean wants to know what's up with all of the puns about bills.

✅ Beneath the Surface -  Cas helps warm Sam up after he falls through the ice during a winter hunt, and Sam can’t hide his longing from the angel.

✅ Heaven and Earth -  Cas likes to stargaze, so Sam gets him a telescope.

✅🎨 Silver and Cold -  When a cursed necklace turns Sam into a merman with an alluring effect on people, Dean and Cas must find a way to cure him. Dean seems immune to Sam's powers, but Cas is another story.

Mooseley

✅ Hell’s (Wedding) Bells - Co-ruling Hell is less intimidating for Sam than what he and Crowley might do on their wedding night.

✅ First Impressions - Sam and his tiny puppy encounter Crowley and his big scary dog at the dog park. First impressions can be deceiving.

✅🎨 Winter Wonder Hell - When Crowley blames Team Free Will for Hell freezing over, they know they’re not going to have a silent night or any peace on earth. 

✅🎨 Trust Exercises - Sam and Crowley have been dating, much to Dean’s dismay. When they decide to go to a couple’s retreat in the middle of the woods, Dean and Cas pose as a couple to keep an eye on them.

✅ Sam Squared - When a spell goes wrong, Sam is split into two people, each with half of his soul — and half the morality that comes with it. The halves do not get along. Dean and Castiel try to reassemble Sam before the two conflicting sides of him can cause any damage.

✅ Hand in Hand - Somebody’s slapped a symbol on Crowley that keeps him out of Hell – and that is slowly killing him. Sam wants to research a way around it, but the demon seems content just to spend his last few days in the Moose’s company.

Saileen

✅🔥 Dancing With a Stranger - Eileen hates casual sex. She’s been dealing with her heat for years with artificial pheromones and a good vibrator. When the elevator breaks down and locks her in with a handsome alpha stranger, though, neither can resist the other.

WinCasWin (Sastiel, Destiel, no Wincest)

✍️🎨🔥 Shadow Box Butterfly -  From Heaven to Hell, it's assumed that Castiel is in a relationship with the Winchesters. Everybody knows but Sam and Dean. That doesn't stop the other angels from making an example of Cas for them to find. 

✅🔥 Burning Questions -  Right after Sam and Dean admit their unrequited feelings for Cas to each other, the ex-angel recruits them to answer a perfectly innocent, newly-human-problems type question: what’s a gag reflex?

✅ Double Dare -  Team Free Will have a few beers, and the brothers discover that everybody there but Cas has kissed a guy before.

✅ Wants and Needs -  Sam, Dean and Castiel are in a relationship, but Cas’s conditioning from Heaven forbids being a lover to humans. He doesn’t feel like he’s enough for them without sex involved, and says so.

✅ Now and Then - (Sequel to Wants and Needs)  Cas has gotten comfortable with sharing the Winchesters’ beds, and they seem happy with their arrangement. The angel still sometimes has flashbacks, though — and doubts.

✅ Love-Stuck -  Do Dean and Cas love each other? Sam thinks so — and an honesty spell might just convince them to admit it to each other.

WinCroWin (Mooseley, Drowley, no Wincest)

✍️ Tender Loving Care -  Crowley’s body has been stolen, his new meatsuit is a (dead) pregnant woman, and Sam and Dean convince him that ruling Hell with a baby bump is a bad idea. Crowley doesn’t care about the baby that will die if he ditches the new body, but having the Winchesters doting on him for a few months doesn't sound too bad. 

Wincestiel

✅🔥🆕 Holy Hell - Sam has a plan for how to cure Dean of being a demon, and that plan involves Cas getting some grace into him the direct way. Unfortunately, it also involves Sam having to watch Cas do his brother over and over…and over…

✅🔥🆕 A Lover’s Touch - Sam is struck with a curse that makes all touch “a lover’s touch.” Dean and Cas have to carry him back to the car.

✅🔥 Attention - Cas gets turned on watching Sam and Dean make out. Noticing this, the brothers playfully decide to focus their attention on him.

✅🔥 Good - One angel, two hunters, and a little praise kinky bondage.

✅ Wins & Losses -  A few months after Sam and Castiel start dating, the angel is killed. Still reeling from the loss of his best friend, Dean can’t just sit and watch Sam’s heartbreak slowly pull him away, too.

Wincest

✅🔥🆕 Eyes On Me - Sam and Dean are completely overpowered by a giant tentacled monster. At first it seems interested only in Dean, but when it sees how he responds to Sam’s attempts to comfort him, the thing gets other ideas.

✅🔥 If It’s You - Sam needs to have sex with someone right now, or the sigils on him will kill him. Dean tries to find somebody for him on short notice, but it turns out Sam wants him to do it.

✅🎨 Safe With Me - A case goes awry, and Sam and Dean are trapped in a rapidly-flooding cave that only one of them took a water breathing potion to explore. Dean must breathe for them both as they try to find a way out. 

✅ Whisper to Me - Thanks to a case with a cursed item, Sam and Dean learn that they both told John about feelings for each other, and John forbade each from ever mentioning it again. Now there’s no barely keeping hands off of each other — they’re scared, and they’ve had a lifetime of practice at living just out of each other’s reach. 

✅ Bad Days - With all of the things the Winchesters have seen — all the things they’ve done, and had done to them — sometimes they have bad days. Today it’s Dean’s turn. 

Gadreel/Dean

✍️🎨 Heaven Help Them - Gadreel returns from the Empty just as Sam, Dean, Castiel and Jack are trying to solve Heaven’s angel shortage. If they can overcome the past, they might just be able to secure Heaven’s future. 

Dean/OC

✅🔥 Enjoy Yourself - Dean’s not sure how he got here, and he’s not sure who has him, but they only want one thing.

✅ Holy Shovel Talk -  Dean's convinced his new boyfriend can't handle the truth about him hunting monsters, and it's getting him down. Protective best friend Castiel decides to have a chat with the guy. 

✅ Dancing Around You -  Sam teaches Castiel to dance a few weeks before Dean’s wedding, and the angel confides in him.

Dean/Pie

Unforgivable -  Dean never should have left his pie alone

Castiel/Castiel/Castiel

✅🆕 Dream On - Castiel visits Dean’s dreams with a message from Heaven, only to find Dean dreaming about two Castiels in bed together. Cas knows how to get the hunter’s attention.

Three or More Ships

✍️ 3-sentence AU Fics - 3-sentence fanfics written based on the prompt of a ship name + an AU. There's a different ship and AU and fic in each (tiny) chapter! 

✍️🎨🔥 The Threshafterdark Art Book - A collection of my NSFW fanart for Supernatural, since I won't be able to post it on Tumblr anymore. Ships and types of smut may vary greatly, but they'll be one pic per chapter and clearly titled. I'll update the tags as I add new works.

[sevens-evan]

pride month day 13

author: daisys-quake

rated: g

ship: kira yukimura/malia tate

word count: 1021

summary: Malia has a thing for PDA. Kira definitely does not.

a/n: someone on ao3 asked for something soft for malira, i hope this qualifies. enjoy. i’m writing a fic a day for pride month; see my post with details here.

Kira isn’t afraid of PDA.

She’s not. She’s just—she likes cuddling and making out and everything as much as anyone, she just prefers those things to be done in private. And it’s not about the gay thing, because Beacon Hills is easily the most openminded place she’s ever lived—living in constant denial of the supernatural wars happening around you probably makes it easier to accept normal things like gay and trans people—, and her dad is supportive to the point of it being almost embarrassing.

Which isn’t to say that Kira isn’t thankful for her dad’s support. She’s privileged, she gets that, but when your dad offers to buy you dental dams—well.

Malia had thought it was funny. And Malia is the source of all Kira’s PDA problems, because she doesn’t seem to be aware that it makes anyone uncomfortable, let alone Kira. Kira is maybe a little bit in love with Malia, so if being constantly used as a pillow at lunchtime or in class or whenever Malia feels like sleeping (which is sort of all the time, really) is the price Kira pays to date her, she’s alright with that.

She just wishes Malia would take more naps at home and fewer literally anywhere else.

“You could try telling her that,” Lydia says when Kira tells her this over coffee after school one day, when Malia is off being a coyote and Allison is doing…something probably involving a lot of pointy objects.

“I don’t wanna hurt her feelings,” Kira says, shaking her head adamantly.

“You really think telling her something bothers you is going to hurt her feelings?” Lydia asks, raising an eyebrow in a way that probably isn’t meant to be judging. It makes Kira’s skin prickle uncomfortably anyway. It’s not Lydia’s fault; Kira’s just never really wanted people’s approval before, and now there’s the pack and Malia and suddenly Kira desperately wants them all to like her. Besides, Lydia could be unintentionally intimidating in her sleep.

“She told me once that she loves being able to kiss me whenever she wants,” Kira says, staring down at the flower drawn in the foam of her cappuccino. “And now I’m supposed to tell her not to?”

“She wouldn’t love it if she knew you were uncomfortable,” Lydia points out. “Go talk to your girlfriend. It’s easier than you think.” She checks her phone. “Speaking of which, I’m going to go find mine. She said she was doing sword training today, and she’s hot when she’s stabbing things.” Kira flushes hotly.

“Didn’t need to know that,” she mumbles, embarrassed for some completely incomprehensible reason. Lydia grins at her.

“Come on,” she says. “Allison? With swords?” Kira isn’t sure what she’s supposed to say to that. Is Allison intimidatingly beautiful? Yes. Is the thought of her slicing a training dummy to bits with a sword highly attractive? Absolutely, but she’s Lydia’s girlfriend and Kira is—

“Way overthinking it, babe,” Lyda says, standing up and setting a hand on Kira’s shoulder. “Chill out. Talk to your girlfriend. Stop taking everything so seriously.” Lydia picks up her coffee before walking out of the coffee shop. Kira watches her go, wondering how a girl who hears the voices of the dead manages to be that well-adjusted. Kira’s just a human spark plug, and she can’t figure out how to deal with that.

Well. Maybe human spark plug is a bit of an oversimplification of the whole immortal, all-powerful supernatural creature thing.

“Hey, Malia?” Kira says a few hours later, when she and Malia are lying in her bed, eating pizza and watching Buffy. It had made perfect sense that Malia had never seen it, given that she had spent more of her life as a coyote than as a human, but Kira is taking a ridiculous amount of joy in witnessing Malia watch it for the first time.

“Yeah, babe?” Malia says through a mouthful of pizza. Kira had ordered a large pizza for the two of them. She had eaten two slices, and Malia is almost done with the rest.

“Do—do you think you could maybe tone down the cuddling and all in public a little bit?” Kira’s voice gets quiet near the end, but she’s proud of herself for getting the words out. Malia glances over at her, frowning. A cute little furrow appears between her eyebrows, and Kira has to rein in the sudden urge to kiss it.

“Why?” Malia asks. No judgement, no anger. Just curiosity.

“It—it kind of makes me uncomfortable,” Kira mumbles. She’s blushing. She isn’t exactly sure why she’s blushing, but she hates it and she wants it to stop.

“Oh,” Malia says. “Okay. Sorry.” She says it casually, no passive aggression, not a hint of being upset.

“It’s that easy?” Kira asks, not really intending to speak aloud.

“Of course.” Malia gives her an odd look. “I’m not gonna do something you don’t like. I didn’t know you didn’t like it, that’s all.”

“You’re not disappointed?”

“Babe,” Malia says, setting her pizza back in the box and cupping Kira’s chin in her fingers. The vain, teenage part of Kira internally winces, already visualizing the acne that will be there in the morning (pizza grease, on her face), but the rest of her is far more focused on the feeling of Malia’s touch and the proximity of her face. “I’m never disappointed in you.”

“Yeah?” Kira says softly, feeling strangely vulnerable.

“Course not,” Malia says, kissing her lightly—pizza grease on her lips, where did the napkins go—before settling back down beside her and picking up her pizza. “Now rewind, I think we missed something important. The music got all dramatic.” Kira glances up at the screen and gasps.

“Um, yes, we missed something important.” She grabs the remote, rewinding a good two minutes, just to make sure they don’t miss anything.

Kira doesn’t see Malia smile at her fondly as she mashes the buttons on the remote, but she can feel the warmth of her gaze, and it sets off a pleasant prickling sensation in her chest.

my ao3

[familiaanteomnia]

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?: Well for Alec- M.alec obviously. Uh Diego with Patch. EverybodyxHappiness. No but seriously just depends on the ship. Like I adore a good ship canon otp or just me with a friend like ‘hey your muse is an idiot, mine is also an idiot best friends for life’ or like ‘aww look at these two would be funny to ship them’ *me five seconds later* ‘anyways this works way too well’. 

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: Hmm okay so it varies. Depends on muse. For example Bo isn’t actually like ‘19′ or even appears as such with that fc. Serial flirter so everybody from 18-early 20′s is more viable for actual feelings. But has shamelessly flirted with older/taken advantage like ‘you want somebody to listen- hmm costs you your jacket and 1000 dollars per hour’. Overall though it depends on appearance especially say in cases where immortality,etc comes into play. 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:  Not quite; but I do enjoy build up- jumping around,etc. Plus not everything has to be ship forever material. Sometimes people fall out of love mutually. Or somebody is like ‘yeah hey I prefer us as friends’ etc. Like variety you know? Only get super selective if somebody’s being pushy. 

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW?: Really- depends especially because I have some messed up trauma stories of rp partners and smut. In general I love awkward first times, sweet afters, etc far more. Like anybody can write bad s*x. Which all the power to those who do chose to write such stuff. But I’d rather do more intimate things, or not so smutty. (I’d literally die to do stuff like ‘oh crap I got soap in my eyes’ in the shower together, or gently cleaning each others hair. Painting on the other’s naked torso,etc.) Sometimes I dabble but usually just not a big fan of it. *there’s more to it but hey whatever, also I’m pretty asexual so that’s a thing* 

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?: I’m not going to go on for ages. Whatever makes a good ship. Canon with canon, canon, oc and canon, oc and oc,etc it varies. Also there’s more than romance ships,etc possible as well. 

ANY NOTPS?: I don’t really ship r*zzy, j*lec, s*phael is kind of sketchy territory too, I don’t ship Maia with Jordan/J.ace. Cl*ce. Any of my gay muses with girls. Those are pretty much the main notps. 

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:  I’d prefer it but long as you’re respectful it’s cool. Shipping memes are for exploration,etc after all/can adapt for platonic stuff if you want as well. Otherwise friends, etc are more than welcome. 

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?:  I don’t get what this means? But frequently and I adore it quite a bit

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: Yep!

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:  Healthy medium and you can tell sometimes I’m more ‘uwu yes ship me up’ and others I’m like ‘nobody dare my muses are the worst’ 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:  T.ua- Diego and Patch (I don’t have one to rp with currently though). S.hadowhunters- M/alec. And of course more specific ships I got going on/all of them with my partners naturally. 

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: Ask? Send memes- be like ‘okay so lets like have them be best friends since they were teenagers and everybody thinks they are dating but in fact both are repulsed by the idea/constantly trying to be like ‘no no this is my significant other not my best friend ew’

TAGGED BY:  The one, the only @pulchrousati  TAGGING: Whoever wants to

[hyrulehb]

You Stole My Breath (Give it Back) Chapter 2 Caught in the Closet

part one

part two:

Kou was frustrated, okay maybe that wasn’t the right word to describe his current emotions. Was irate more fitting? Shit, he didn’t know and honestly, it didn’t matter. It had been almost a week since the whole ‘waking up after reviving to find Nagai Kei kissing him and saying he loved him in his own way’ incident. During that time, Kou had yet to trap Kei long enough to demand an explanation or to even have a halfway decent conversation with the cold asshole.

Kou was frustrated, okay maybe that wasn’t the right word to describe his current emotions. Was irate more fitting? Shit, he didn’t know and honestly, it didn’t matter. It had been almost a week since the whole ‘waking up after reviving to find Nagai Kei kissing him and saying he loved him in his own way’ incident. During that time, Kou had yet to trap Kei long enough to demand an explanation or to even have a halfway decent conversation with the cold asshole.

No, Kei had taken to sneaking around the base and it was obvious that he was trying to avoid him. Kou hadn’t seen the other at any meal time and apparently, the other teenager was taking his food to his room. Kou would still report to the tree and see the noose hanging, waiting for him to repeatedly reset in the hope of bringing out an IBM to help fight Sato. While the thought of using it without at least meeting Kei beforehand was intimidating, Kou ended up going through with it. Hours later he would wake up, laying on the forest floor with the only sign of Kei having been there being the cut rope and the shoe prints in the dirt. This cycle continued uninterrupted.

 During meetings, Kei would stand as far as possible from Kou and would disappear as soon as it was over, Izumi was now the one that had to explain what the meeting had been about to Kou. Which was nice in some ways, but aggravating in others. He couldn’t even enjoy the time chattering with the gorgeous female ajin because Kei’s face was stuck in his brain.

 Yeah, that led up to Kou’s other problem. Questioning Kei’s sincerity of his words. Kou had been with some girls and guys in the past so he certainly wasn’t inexperienced or in denial about his own bisexuality. However, not once in their ‘friendship’, if Kou could call it that, had it ever popped into his mind to see Kei as a potential partner… or a romantic one at least.

 Then again, Kou had always found himself leaning towards girls more than guys. Now, here he was sitting on the roof of their compound to get some privacy to think about the aloof intellectual ass some more.

 More often than not, the two young ajin had been at each other’s throats and hurling subtle and not so subtle insults. Still they both shared a connection and concern for the other at the same time. Maybe it was the fact that they were both ajin and in that sense the rest of the world was against them.

 While Kou wore his heart on his sleeve and looked for the good in each person, even in the mercenaries and Tosaki that had attacked and hunted him ruthlessly, Kei was the opposite. Kou often questioned if the dark haired ajin had a heart to begin with when they first met.

  Kei had his reasons, Kou was sure of it, but neither of them had spoken about their pasts and Kei had been tightlipped whenever Kou asked for details about what had happened during the government’s experiments on him. There were plenty of videos online that Kou had seen of other experiments across the world on ajin that gave him a pretty good idea of what had happened. Still the details never came from Kei himself and he felt it would be going behind the shorter ajin’s back if he asked Tosaki or Izumi about it.

 The question was, did he return Kei’s feelings? The answer by all rhyme and reason, should be ‘no’. But, the answer wasn’t that?

 A loud groan left Kou’s lips as he, in a frenzy, ran his hands through his hair in frustration, as if that would somehow alleviate his confusion.  He didn’t hate Nagai, he was a scumbag sure, but he certainly didn’t hate him. In fact, he supposed he admired Kei. The shorter ajin was also willing to do what was necessary for his own survival. No matter the cost, which was, to be frank, frightening. There was never any hesitation in Kei’s hands when he took his own life and forced a reset.

 At the same time, Kei was fighting a war that he claimed no interest in and was laying his immortal life on the line for. The other would also get testy if anyone brought up the name of his childhood best friend ‘Kaito’. That knowledge came from a conversation that Kou had overheard between Tosaki and Kei one night.

 Kei was also smart, a fact that was shoved into Kou’s face quite often, much to his annoyance. But the way the other would think on his feet and come up with plans was astounding. Kou hadn’t been lying when he said that Kei was amazing. It wasn’t hero worship either, after all, Kei was far from a hero with the way he acted and what motivated him.

 Alright step one done, Kou had accepted the fact that he might be in love with Nagai Kei. Step two was figuring out why, which was harder to explain. But he needed to, if only to understand it himself. Yes, he admired Kei because he was smart, daring, and able to push his emotions away. Kei wasn’t bad looking. Kei was shorter than him, lean, kind of solemn faced, rich black hair, and had the same murky red eyes as him that marked him as an ajin. It was when he stared into those eyes that Kou was able to find Kei’s true feelings no matter how much he tried to hide them away.

 These reasons should be enough to justify a high school crush and to start casually dating. But, now that Kou was thinking about it, something felt… deeper than that. Why did he NEED Kei in his life?

Maybe that was the answer…. Need.

 When he was with Kei he felt needed.

 Even if it was just to call the other ajin out on his bullshit. Kou felt that in more than one way, Kei needed him. They were opposites, what did his old literature teacher call that, a ‘foil’. Honestly, he wasn’t sure what cooking had to do with anything.

 That aside, Kou felt that maybe he needed to care for Kei because the dark haired ajin actually didn’t care enough for himself. No one else did either from what Kou had seen on the live news reports when the government first started to hunt for the third recognized ajin in Japan.

 Kou also felt that perhaps Kei’s selfish, cold attitude was just a lie he was hiding behind in an attempt to protect himself from more pain. Then again, maybe it was just wishful thinking on Kou’s part. Regardless, when Kei was around Kou found himself enjoying their moments, even during the yelling. He was determined to drag the other buried heart to the surface.  

 Step two was done, on to the next, how was he going to approach the other ajin when it was so obvious that Kei was doing everything in his power to avoid Kou? Should he let the other come to him when he was ready? Then again Kei wasn’t one to be very keen on admitting a weakness.

 Kou felt his heart squeeze at that thought, was he just a weakness in Kei’s eyes? He couldn’t produce a black ghost, he wasn’t smart, and he had no reputation to be proud of certainly. The only thing that Kou had going for him was his immortality. Which was a pretty good bonus when it meant he didn’t have to worry about speaking his mind to Kei.

 Every time he tried to get even close to Kei the other would find some excuse to leave or would just flat out ignore him and flee. He had a feeling that physically tackling Kei wouldn’t exactly be the best option either to begin a heart to heart conversation.

 Another frustrated groan left Kou’s lips and he flopped onto his back, ignoring the feeling of the uncomfortably hot cement that made up the roof penetrating through his clothes and into his skin.

 The early summer sun was brutal as it shone down on him and he started to sweat, but it didn’t really bother him.

 The now familiar sound of IBM particles crackling and slamming into each other reached Kou’s ears, prompting him to peek over the edge of the roof to the courtyard below. Of course, it was Izumi and Kei training with their black ghosts that clawed, punched, and kicked at the other, aiming for the head in hope of destroying the mummy-like monster. Kou could also see Ogura sitting in the shade of the building watching the battle while puffing on a cigarette.

 The female ajin was much more skilled at controlling her IBM and it didn’t take long for Kei’s to fall. While the teenager could summon another ghost more quickly, Izumi had the advantage of experience and finesse.

 As Kei’s IBM sunk to its knees, Izumi and ‘Kuro-chan’, as she called it, crossed their arms over their chests, a perfect mirror of the other. While Kou was too high up to hear any conversations, he was able to see if their lips moved. The way that Kei jerked suddenly and turned away from the group made Kou assume that, once again, Kei’s IBM had said something strange or embarrassing as Izumi looked first confused and then concerned. But as her mouth started to open Kei spun on his heel and stalked into the building.

 Kou raised a bushy brow, it took a lot to make Kei lose his cool like that.

 The door clanging open behind him made Kou spin around, heart leaping into his throat for a short moment before it fell once more as he saw it was only Hirasawa. He tried to act casual, something that Kou usually spectacularly failed at. Hanging his arm limply over the railing of the roof like he hadn’t been about to attempt jumping over it if an attack was coming his way.

 “H-Hey, old man! Ever heard of knockin’?”

 “I wasn’t aware I needed your permission to come to the roof,” Came the short answer from the old mercenary, the man cocking his head slightly as he waited for Kou to get his heartrate back under control. He had to wonder through, “Aren’t you a little close to the edge, I thought you were afraid of heights?”

 “Fuck!”

 One look down gave Kou a dizzying sense of vertigo now that he didn’t have Kei to focus on. With one violent motion, the brunet flung himself away from the railing. He tripped over his own feet however and landed in an ungraceful heap at the balding man’s feet, a moan of pain coming from his lips as he looked up at Hirasawa’s unimpressed face.

 The seconds of silence continued to stretch between them before a sheepish chuckle escaped Kou as he crawled back to his feet, “So umm, what are you doin’ up here anyway?”

 “Actually, I came looking for you,” Hirasawa continued to talk over the teen’s sound of confusion, far too used to it by now. “Your shooting was worse than usual these past few days and I came to ask you the reason why, we can’t afford screw-ups when we go against Sato.”

 “Oh…” Kou wasn’t sure how to answer that question, scratching the back of his head uncertainly he moved to sit on top of one of the inactive fan units. The human followed him without a word, but didn’t sit, instead waiting silently for Kou to answer at his own pace. Which he really did appreciate. Despite their rocky beginnings Kou had come to trust and enjoy his time with the group of mercenaries that had attempted to capture him and hand him over to be strapped to a dissection table.

 Funny how things worked out, the thought made a dopey smile cross Kou’s face and caused Hirasawa to furrow his brows in confusion. But then Kou was frowning again as he wondered how to answer the man. The speed at which different emotions could cross Kou’s face was enough to give anyone whiplash.

  Well, brutal honesty was supposed to be the best policy, right? Kou was going to go with yes. Barely taking a breath as the words spilled out of his lips, “I think that I… ya know, ‘like’ Nagai and he’s being an asshole and avoiding me.”

 Then the whole story of what he had woken up to days before came tumbling out. Only once he was panting did a troubling thought come to Kou’s mind, how would the rough man take the fact that he liked dicks?

 The mercenary appeared to be caught off guard by the confession, blinking slowly as he tried to process the word vomit that had assaulted his ears. Sure, it was surprising, but when you were pressed down in the trenches and facing bullets from all sides one couldn’t exactly be picky about whom your allies were.

 Kou felt that he meshed well with the group of mercenaries, and Kei was something to them… in his own way. They had both seemed to have gradually grown on the old team, even if they were still wary towards the dark-haired ajin.

 “So, you both love each other?” Hirasawa asked softly, Kou sighing as he rubbed at his forehead as he answered, “I mean, yeah, I guess. He kissed me and said as much, even if it was on accident.”

 “And you love him?”

 “Yes!” Kou shocked himself with how quickly and loudly he answered, a blush burning his cheeks under Hirasawa’s gaze. Sure, he accepted that fact but to say it out loud was something else.

 “Well, what are you going to do about it?” There was a militaristic, challenging tone that Hirasawa was taking, making Kou flinch as he whined back, “I don’t know, every option I’ve thought of so far ends with me dead!”

 “And that’s a problem?” Damn teenagers, and their hormones.

 “I mean… I guess not,” Ouch, Kou flinched, but he guessed worrying about a short, albeit, painful death, shouldn’t be intimidating when he had immortality on his side. Still there was another problem that he couldn’t really do anything about, “But during the time that I reset he’s just going to run away. Then I’ll be back to square one or whatever.”

 Hirasawa scratched at his chin, humming softly in thought, yeah, that was a problem that would be harder for Kou to handle on his own. Finally, he patted the brunet on his shoulder, voice assuring as Kou continued to look downtrodden and frustrated, “Don’t worry, kid. It’ll work out.”

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 Of course, the researcher had strolled after Kei when he had stormed off, why not?! He was tempted to go tell Ogura to go choke on one of his cigarettes and leave him alone.  But instead Kei remained silent as he walked to his room, a sanctuary with a lock to keep Kou away from him. The ajin researcher silently followed him into it, casually leaning back in the chair by Kei’s desk as he drawled, steepling his fingers together over his chest as he swung the chair from side to side slowly, “So… You going to tell me what all that was about?”

 “I could get my IBM to throw you out of here,” Kei growled back as he moved to sit on his bed after locking the door, still he kept his eyes from meeting Ogura’s. Why did his stupid black ghost have to betray him at every turn? Seriously, every time that he had summoned the monster since his accidental confession, the IBM had continued to repeat that damning phrase: “I love you…dumbass….”

 It was humiliating.

 “You could toss me out, but are you going to?” Ogura’s quip drew Kei out of his thoughts, making him give another glare at him in answer. “It’s highly tempting,”

 “That’s not a ‘yes’,” the researcher chuckled under the increasing intensity of the ajin’s scowl before continuing, “So… You and Nakano? Are you macking on each other?”

 What the fuck did ‘macking’ mean, it had to be some strange American term as Kei didn’t recognize it. After all his time in the United States, the older man definitely didn’t fit the model of a proper Japanese citizen anymore. The meaning of the strange word could have several implications, all other which led to the same result. The pair of ajin being more than friends or allies.  

 ‘There is nothing going on between us’, was what he wanted to say, but couldn’t, instead sitting silently as the chair continued to squeak under Ogura’s movements. Silently, Kei was grateful that the man wasn’t smoking, he seemed to have at least some respect for his space.

 “We are not together,” Which was a true statement, no problem with that.

 “But you want to be.” The sentence was spoken like a statement and not a question, like Ogura could see right through Kei’s chilly exterior. They had spent so much time together talking that that might be the case.

 “No.” That was a lie, and they both knew it as Ogura rolled his eyes and Kei tried to shove down any heat that was building in his cheeks. He tried to speak the next words with conviction, but they sounded hollow to his own ears, “I don’t need a weakness or liability like him to worry about.”

 “True, you can look back in history and see that relationships are like wielding a double-edged sword, plenty of monarchs met their grizzly ends because of some action that their lover or spouse committed.” There were many cases that showed that the lover wasn’t completely to blame, but they could be the tipping point in one way or another. “Is Nakano the first person you’ve ever fallen for?”

 Kei’s eyes narrowed at the curious and overly innocent tone that Ogura was trying to use, subtlety definitely wasn’t the man’s forte, “Are you trying to use this for research, seriously?”

 “Might as well! Two ajins with wildly differing personalities able to get together and do the hanky-panky. It’s a scientific revelation.” Now Kei was certain that Ogura was just throwing weird English words at him to further aggravate him.

 Kei let himself fall back onto his bed breathing slowly to make sure that he didn’t accidentally let his ghost break free and gut the other man. In his own way, Ogura was trying to help, Kei was dimly aware of that as the researcher fell silent to let him gather his thoughts. ‘Double-edged’, huh?

 They stayed like that for a while, dinner the only thing prompting them to leave as it had been midafternoon when the ‘incident’ occurred. Ogura ruffled Kei’s hair in parting, telling him not to worry too much about it.

 A few days later Ogura approached Kei once more, asking for some help looking for something in the storeroom that might help them with more experiments with the IBMs. Seeing no reason not to, he agreed his mind still a mess. Too distracted to think that it was odd to see Hirasawa lounging back against the wall next to the door of large supply closet. Which was already open.

 “Okay, so the cylinders should be in the back-right corner according to Tozaki so let’s search there first,” Ogura muttered making Kei roll his eyes, the researcher had to get a dig in on the pale haired man even when he wasn’t around it would seem.  

 Kei nodded slightly, entering the room first before flinching as he heard the door bang shut behind him. Whirling around he tried the lock, already knowing too well that it would be locked. “Ogura, what the hell is this!?” Kei’s shout echoed in the storeroom, but on the other side of the door it was barely heard as a mumble.

 “Why are you helping with this again?” Hirasawa asked, eyes sliding over to the man he treated as a prisoner not so long ago. It was Ogura that cooked up this scheme after he sought the balding mercenary out about a ‘problem’ a certain two of the ajin were apparently having between each other. They were surprised that the other knew of the situation, but quickly figured out a plan. Hirasawa easily tricked Kou into the storeroom in the same manner as Ogura. The brunet ajin was still digging about in the supply closet, each time being sent in by Hirasawa because he ‘found the wrong part’.

 The researcher just chuckled softly as he lit up his cigarette, ignoring Tosaki’s no indoor smoking rules, he took a long drag on the cancer stick before blowing the smoke into the air while reaching forward to hang a small sign on the shaking doorknob, “Science.”

 Then Ogura called out louder for the ajin to hear him, “Don’t bother trying to use your IBM to break down the door, it won’t work. We’ll check on you two in a couple of hours to see if you’ve worked out your feelings. If not, you can spend the night in there. ‘Kay?”

 The pounding on the door became more frantic before stopping, Ogura smirking as he nudged the taller man in the side, “Come on, let’s get a beer while the lovers figure things out.”

 Hirasawa didn’t protest only following behind the researcher, their fading footsteps barely heard through the thick metal of the door.

 “Nagai?”

 The all too familiar voice made a shiver run down Kei’s spine, he didn’t want to face Kou. Instead he pressed his forehead against the cold metal of the door, like if he tried hard enough he could just melt into it and pretend that this wasn’t happening.

 “Naga-,” Kou cut himself off, taking a deep breath to steady himself as he tried to brace himself for claws coming at him, “Kei, we need to talk.”

Hope you all enjoyed this! Last part will hopefully come out soon, thanks again to @origami10 for editing, and this is part of a birthday gift to @kelpie-hearts

[theconservativebrief]

Ten years ago this month, the first Twilight movie sparkled broodily into movie theaters. By then, the four-volume book series had already been published in full, made the best-seller lists several times over, and was safely established as a cult phenomenon for its target demographic of teen girls — but with that first movie, Twilight became mainstream.

In the fall of 2008, America at large was introduced to the story of Bella Swan, teenage everygirl, and her fraught, star-crossed love for glitter-streaked vampire Edward Cullen. Twilight introduced us to Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, and it continued the Harry Potter tradition of the YA book-to-movie franchise as a dominant box office force.

It also became a cultural flashpoint. Think piece after think piece by turn celebrated Twilight’s cultural dominance, mocked its shimmery vampire mythology, and feared the effects that romanticizing its tortured, dysfunctional love story might have on its teen readers. In 2008, Twilight was adored, but it was also hated, feared, and mocked.

Here in 2018, we finally have room to get a little perspective on the whole thing. In celebration of the 10-year anniversary of the first Twilight movie, Vox culture writers Constance Grady, Alex Abad-Santos, and Aja Romano joined forces with deputy managing editor Eleanor Barkhorn to look back at the unlife and legacy of the Twilight phenomenon.

Constance: When the first Twilight movie came out in 2008, I was 19, and I was positive that the entire franchise was a blight on the pop culture landscape. Before the movie even came out, I made up my mind about it. I read the posts about how the Edward-Bella love story ticked all the boxes of an abusive relationship; I shook my head over Stephenie Meyer’s bland, boring sentences; I howled over the whole concept of everything that happened in Breaking Dawn. (He chews the baby out of her uterus!)

But I was also completely fascinated by the franchise. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I picked up the first book to see what the fuss was all about, and even though I thought the love story was creepy and the prose was blah and absolutely nothing happened until about three-quarters of the way through the book beyond some vampire baseball (vampire baseball!), I kept turning those pages. I was compelled. I couldn’t help myself.

I hate-read every Breaking Dawn review, and every review of the movie. I developed opinions on Kristen Stewart (bit her lip too much) and Robert Pattinson (I appreciated his palpable hatred of the franchise). I spent so much emotional energy thinking about the whole Twilight thing that I was, for all intents and purposes, a fan. I was just a fan who hated it.

Looking back 10 years later, I don’t think I was necessarily wrong about most of the things I disliked about the franchise then. Bella and Edward’s relationship does have some disturbing power dynamics (which we’ll get into in a bit). Myer’s prose is pretty bland. The structure of the plot is bananas. (I was wrong about Kristen Stewart, though, and the way she was penalized for sometimes seeming mildly uncomfortable with the Twilight phenomenon while Pattinson was lauded for his outright hatred of it says a lot about gender politics circa 2008.)

But I also think that I clearly found Twilight really compelling when I was 19, and I was mad about that, because smart girls weren’t supposed to like books and movies like Twilight. There’s a weird, creepy eroticism to those books that is calibrated to speak precisely to the sexual and romantic fantasies of teenage girls, and I was a teenage girl. It did speak to me. And that pissed me off.

There are few pop cultural products that our society likes to shit on more than the pop culture created for teenage girls, and Twilight circa 2008 was the pinnacle of that phenomenon. This was a franchise that was built for teen girls, marketed to teen girls, and loved by teen girls, and because of that, it became accepted common knowledge that all correct-thinking people could only despise and revile it. So when I look back 10 years later, I find it difficult to untangle my hatred of Twilight from my own internalized misogyny, and from my profound and at the time unexamined belief that anything made for teenage girls must inherently be less-than.

How did you feel about Twilight back in 2008? Has it changed for you since then?

Eleanor: I was 24 when the first movie came out, and I think being just past teenagehood made all the difference for me. I loved the movie — fully, earnestly, without irony, without reservations. I loved the moody Pacific Northwest setting. I loved the longing glances. I loved the vampire baseball! (But then I am a sucker for the “characters with superpowers show off their superpowers” scene that these movies always tend to have. Ask me how I felt watching Tobey Maguire leap from Queens rooftop to Queens rooftop in the 2002 Spider-Man.)

I had spent my teenage years full of feelings, full of angst, full of deep, painful crushes on mysterious boys. And I’d mostly felt embarrassed by those feelings. I wanted to be calm, detached — a Cool Girl, to reference Gone Girl, another best-selling book turned hit movie. Seeing Bella feel so many of the things I’d felt was tremendously validating. I was normal! I’m okay, you’re okay, etc.

The fact that I watched the movie at 24 instead of 19 also meant that Twilight inspired a fair amount of nostalgia for me. By my mid-20s, I was no longer having those intense feelings anymore. I was turning into a much more practical, grounded person — realizing that I should be looking for stability, kindness, and shared values in the men I dated, rather than hotness or mysteriousness.

This was a necessary step in my maturation as a human being. (I’m very glad to be married to my kind, stable husband, whom I met at church, rather than the hot guy in my algebra class who sometimes showered me with attention and sometimes ignored me.) But it came with a sense of loss — intense teenage feelings have a particular joy and drama to them.

Twilight came at just the right moment for me to be a fan: I was close enough to my teenage years to appreciate the validation of my feelings, but far enough away that I could appreciate, rather than be embarrassed by, the romanticization of those feelings.

And that’s why I never fully understood all the hand-wringing about whether Twilight was “good” for women, or whether Bella was a “good role model” for girls. Pop culture doesn’t need to be instructive to be good. It can simply show people as they are, rather than as they should be. Bella isn’t a character I want to be like as an adult, or want my daughters to be — but that’s fine. Fiction for young people is full of spunky, plucky young women role models. It’s okay for Bella to capture a particular way that many young women are — even if, with the benefit of a few years of hindsight, we recognize that’s not the way we want to be forever.

Alex: I mean, I understand the hand-wringing and analysis of whether Bella is a “good role model” because of Twilight’s audience. The books were being consumed by teenage girls (and younger-than-teenage girls), and the natural response from adults, when it comes to any piece of culture as popular as Twilight was, is to fret over “what is it teaching the children?”

Many adults seem to believe that books for younger audiences should follow a certain moral code or provide some kind of moral guidance. Though overhauling the way we teach kids about books and how we approach books ourselves warrants its own entire article.

I read New Moon — the one where Bella wants to die so Edward will come and save her — and I’ve seen every movie except Breaking Dawn Part I. I guess my main impression of that one book and the four movies (I don’t want to speak for Stephenie Meyer’s entire oeuvre) is that Twilight is both a not-so-well-written book and a mildly exciting movie franchise.

But like Constance said, it gets criticized exponentially harder than other pieces of pop culture because teenage girls like it. I think some of that criticism is warranted, in that the book wallows in shallow descriptions, but it gets magnified because of who its target audience is.

One of the things I wish the movies had done more of was lean into the vampire action. There wasn’t enough vampire baseball. If you’re gonna give these vampires magical superpowers — elemental manipulation, mind-reading, pain projection, etc. — then show us those powers. Make it seem cool to be a vampire. Or at least make it seem cooler to be an immortal high schooler than Twilight often did, with the characters just trolling around a Pacific Northwest high school looking for an eternal mate.

Aja: We also can’t really talk about whether Twilight was instructive or not without talking about the kinds of real-world legacies it left us with — including a full decade and counting of YA novels with extremely problematic relationships at their centers. Despite the many red flags flying around Bella and Edward’s relationship — starting with their 87-year age difference, his stalking and controlling behavior, and the fact that he wants to bite her more than any other human he’s ever met, fans loved the couple. And because plenty of Twilight fans were so interested in their codependent passion, publishers started marketing books that featured similar relationships as a selling point.

(One of the most disturbing of these books was Hush, Hush, a New York Times best-seller that featured a hero who literally stalks, threatens to sexually assault, and tries to kill the teen protagonist. It’s a controversial book that’s currently being made into a movie, so the phenomenon is still very much with us.)

But we also have a whole generation of Twilight fans who turned the publishing industry on its head with their insistence and demand for trope-filled stories that indulged their fantasies. And their unashamed consumption of a brand of media that nakedly catered to them arguably presaged the flourishing romantic comedy resurgence we now appear to be in the middle of.

Twilight fans were also responsible for one of the most remarkable and underdiscussed publishing phenomena in history, in that they essentially built an entire new publishing genre from scratch. They started by creating a controversial but very effective system of pull-to-publish Twilight fanfiction — stories that centered on Bella and Edward analogues, without any copyrighted names or details. Then, backed by the money and enthusiasm of ravenous Twilight fans who wanted to read more, more, more, they created their own small-press publishing houses in order to ship those fics-turned-novels directly to their audiences.

It was from one of these Twilight fandom publishing houses, created for and by Twilight fans, that Fifty Shades of Grey — which was originally a massively popular Twilight fanfic called “Master of the Universe” — originated. By blowing the doors wide open on the potential financial power of fanfiction, and introducing it to mainstream culture for the first time, Fifty Shades of Grey forever changed publishing. And it wouldn’t have existed without this very specific way in which Twilight fans commercialized their fandom.

We could debate endlessly whether the marketing of any of these fics was “good” or “morally instructive,” but I do believe these fans were galvanized to do what they did because they were forced to spend years defending their hobby and their reading pleasures. And we all know the best way to defend your hobby is to find a way to make money from it.

Constance: Aja brings up a great point here: Twilight was such a giant franchise that it had a real effect on pop culture. So what do you think is its most lasting legacy?

An interesting counterbalance to the wave of YA romances about creepy, mysterious, controlling boys that Aja correctly pegs to Twilight’s popularity is that Twilight also fundamentally changed the way we talked about those romances. Before Twilight, they were considered silly and fun and not really worth critiquing, but the criticism of Twilight was so heated and so pointed that it ended up influencing the discourse around practically all relationships built on the Bella-Edward model.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a lot more sophisticated about the power dynamics of its relationships than Twilight was, but I don’t know that it could have gotten away with a ship like Buffy-Angel in a post-Twilight era. When Buffy first aired, a scene where Buffy wakes up in the middle of the night to find Angel sitting on her windowsill passed without comment, but after Edward Cullen, it became one of the scenes that people brought up when they talked about why they don’t like that pairing. That’s because one of the things the hand-wringing over Twilight established is that it is creepy when a boy breaks into a girl’s bedroom to watch her sleep, the way Edward does with Bella.

And The Vampire Diaries, the next big vampire romance franchise after Twilight, went out of its way to subvert any Twilight comparisons with its central romance between Stefan and Elena. That show very pointedly played the big reveal that Stefan was a vampire in an echo of the famous “Say it!” / “Vampire,” scene in Twilight, but in this version, Elena ran screaming in the other direction as soon as she realized what Stefan was. There’s even a scene in one episode where Elena is watching Stefan sleep, rather than the other way around, and he tells her it’s creepy.

There’s plenty for us to critique about the gender politics of The Vampire Diaries, but it’s a show that clearly wanted to be the woke alternative to Twilight, and the way it positioned itself to take that slot was by subverting the tropes that the Twilight discourse had established were gross.

Eleanor: The only love triangle YA story I really got into after Twilight was The Hunger Games, which provided an interesting (but also maddening) foil to Twilight. I saw The Hunger Games get treated a lot more seriously as a franchise because of its apparent critique of income inequality (the movie came out just months after Occupy Wall Street), and because Katniss was in so many ways the anti-Bella: tough, resourceful, independent. Also in The Hunger Games’ favor: Jennifer Lawrence, who played Katniss, was much, much better at the celebrity image game than Kristen Stewart.

But I found everything about The Hunger Games a little too perfect; the good role model protagonist and the “serious” commentary on today’s social issues was all a bit much. I still appreciate Twilight’s stubborn refusal to be anything more than what it was: an evocative, albeit problematic, teen love story that took its characters’ feelings seriously.

Would it be a stretch to call movies like Brooklyn and Lady Bird part of the legacy of Twilight? Of course, they’re in an entirely different genre; they’re also more nuanced and better acted, and the relationships at their center are largely absent of the troubling power dynamics we discussed above. But they fill a place in my heart that Twilight once did, for the way they show that the stories of young women and their romantic choices are important and worthy of deep study.

Alex: The world would be a better, kinder place if everyone was required to watch Brooklyn. Though I’m not sure if it and Lady Bird are a part of Twilight’s legacy or are simply terrific stories about teenage girls growing up that haven’t been given the credit they’re due.

Twilight’s more direct legacy is Fifty Shades of Grey and the phenomena — the backlash and the fandom — that followed it. Right? When Fifty Shades came out, article after article depicted and chided its readers as desperate, horny middle-aged women. The book was considered “mommy porn.” Like Twilight, Fifty Shades is no beautiful tome of language. But the criticism of it seemed amplified because women, particularly women of a certain age, were really into it. And If there’s one demographic whose taste people like to judge more than that of teenage girls, it has to be moms. Poor moms.

Aja: I definitely think we can’t discount the fact that a lot of the teen girls who got vilified for loving Twilight grew up and got vilified for loving New Adult erotica, so I’m doubling down on the stance that Twilight’s legacy is creating a generation of women who became loud and proud about their fictional kinks as a result of being perpetually shamed for them. I want to think that ultimately, this confidence outweighs all of Twilight’s problematic tropes.

I will add that Twilight sparked a weird purity backlash in YA literature whereby depictions of sex and sexuality between teens became newly taboo, in part because of all the hand-wringing over Twilight and its ilk. I think that’s taken a while to wear off, in part because Twilight’s imprint was so indelible.

Also, there’s one really obvious thing Twilight bequeathed us, simple but huge, and that’s “Team X” and “Team Y.” Twilight made shipping, and discussion of shipping, a standard part of the pop culture discourse around media franchises, and it did so specifically via “Team Edward” and “Team Jacob.” (And the perennial underdog, Team Bella.) These ideas — and the specific concept of shipping as rooting for your pairing or character, or “team,” to win the love triangle — entered the pop culture landscape with Twilight, and now they’re ubiquitous. And crucially, by framing shipping as a pastime akin to rooting for a sports team, they made shipping into something harmless and fun rather than yet another toxic, galling thing to shame fans for doing. If only for this, I am Team Twilight all the way.

Original Source -> Reckoning with Twilight, 10 years later

via The Conservative Brief