#one of those electric plate thingies

[elibean]

My canon-compliant ass is so picky with my lc fics, but one thing that always makes me pause is when fics will have them cooking or something

BITCH WHERE

[neminomnom]

Cars I think arcane characters would have

Send me requests I beg 🙏🙏🙏

includes: Viktor, Jayce, mel, Caitlyn, Ekko, Felicia, Vi, jinx and isha :)

Viktor

- Viktor would have a Toyota Camry or something very similar, it would be dark grey with a bunch of scratches on near the bottom of it.

- Viktor would keep his car very clean, in the glove box he would keep a bunch of old CDs he’s never even touched.

- has so many air fresheners on the rear view mirror that havnt been taken off in about a year, his car smells like a mix of lavender and that old musty smell.

Jayce

- oh he would definitely have some big, electric car, like a Volvo EX90, that thing would be SPOTLESS inside and out, not a speck of dust out of place.

-Jayces Volvo is in the colour ‘sand dune’ and probably has a custom number plate saying T4L1S or something along those lines

- The inside of the car is pretty clean, he doesn’t keep much things inside of it, but he does have a photo of him and Ximena stuck onto the edge of his dashboard.

Mel

- I feel like mel would have two cars, one being a Bugatti mistral in the colour of black, and the other being a Land Rover defender, she likes the look of the Bugatti and how clean they look, but she also loves the space in the defender.

- the Bugatti is a show car, she uses the defender 110 to get around, it’s in the colour ‘Gondwana stone’ and has a bunch of the accessory packs to go with it.

- that car smells DIVINE, you could not shower for a year, go to sit in that car for five minutes and come out smelling like the world luxury.

Caitlyn

- Caitlyn would have a Mercedes-benz AMG G 63 in black, her car would look incredibly clean on the outside, but on the inside not so much, sure it was clean, but there were a few bits of paper on the floor of the car, Caitlyn hates it and tries to clean it a lot, but it still gets messy

- She doesn’t let people eat or drink In her car, she doesn’t want people to stain the leather seats or get crumbs in the little corners of them.

- she keeps gum in the cup holders and offers it to anyone who gets in.

Ekko

- you could be stuck in traffic for hours then see him filtering on his racing bike, that thing can go fastttt, He would have a Kawasaki ninja H2R.

- him and jinx would have spent ages decorating decorated his helmet and gear thingys with spray paint, he would also have some cool car stickers on the sides of the bike, or the firelight symbol.

-Ekko loves to race with other people, of course he wins, but he still enjoys it

- He would get a bunch of custom stuff done to it to make it stand out, like a custom exhaust, and during the Christmas season he wears a reindeer helmet cover

Felicia

- Felicia would have an old lady car, small but still a nice car, like a 2014 fiat 500 in white, there would be quite a few scratches and it would always be a bit lucky on the outside, not too dirty though.

-the inside of her car feels like the word home, it smells like warmth and she has so many Polaroid photos of her and people she loves on stuck onto her dashboard, there’s a few wrappers littered on the floor, but she doesn’t care that much.

- at 7 in the morning, you could hear her music playing in the car from the opposite side of the street.

Violet

- There’s two options, either a big monster truck what hasn’t been through a car wash since 1987 and has so many problems with its engine, or something like a 1990 bmw 325i, it’s seen better days but is still usable, and I’m going for the second one.

- the bmw sounds like it’s about to take off to space each time she starts it, and it bounces each time someone sits down in it, vi loves it though.

- this car has so many scratches on, the inside has a bit of damage, the seats having spill stains on, so she brought those seat cover things.

- You can tell that thing smells musty, no matter how many air fresheners Vi buys, the smell doesn’t go away.

Jinx

- you bet she has the funkiest car, like a hot pink Mini Cooper with go faster stripes all over it, she has a wrap of her monkey symbol on the roof of the car in a dark grey, still visible but not too noticeable.

-that thing looks like it’s been through wars, but the inside is even more chaotic, she had LED lights around the edges of the roof inside and so many trinkets on the dashboard.

- like mother like daughter, she also plays music so loud it can make you deaf at any time of the day, no matter the song you bet she’s blasting it.

- once tried to race Ekko in it and failed miserably.

Isha

- it isn’t a car, but she has a scooter and a skateboard, Isha and jinx made the scooter all bright and colourful, it has a bunch of things hanging off the handles.

- for the skateboard, that thing is hanging into its last limbs, the wheels keep on coming off and jinx always has to fix them, but Isha loves it too much and she doesn’t want to get rid of it.

—————————————————————————

[horny4hetfield]

Everybody Loves a Parade - Part 3

Warnings: Fluff, Sex teased, Shameless Product Placement

Wednesday

I roll over to find the bed empty.  It is barely dawn.  I hear a guitar being played.  I smile.  James was somewhere in my place doodling.  I crawl out of bed, still very sore from yesterday morning, but it makes me smile.  Pulling a robe on over what I’d worn the day before, I pad out to the living room.  James is sitting on the sofa, guitar on his knee, notepad on the coffee table, completely lost in writing.  Not wanting to crunch in on his vibe, I return to bed.  Laying there listening to him create.

His lips are pressed against my temple, “Hey sleepy head.”  His hand rubs my back, “You gonna wake up today?”

I scrunch up my eyebrows, “What time is it?

“About 8.”

I stretch and groan at the same time.  “Did you finish your song?”

“Did I wake you with it?”  his eyes showing concern.

“It sounded really good.”  I smile, and get lost in those fucking blue eyes.

He kisses my neck, “I still need to work on some things, but yeah.  It’s gonna be better on electric.” 

I caress his arms, “I’m looking forward to hearing it.”  I stretch again and yawn, rebounding into a ball.

He pats my hip.  “My turn to make breakfast.  C’mon.”

He helps me climb out of bed.  Walking into the kitchen, he’d already started the coffee maker.  For being the megarockgodsuperstar, he could actually cook.  Sorta.  His grilling skills are far better, but he still knows his way around in the kitchen.  He put together a breakfast for us of scrambled eggs with cheese, sourdough toast, sliced avocados and coffee.  His eggs are fluffy.  The toast is well buttered.  The coffee hot.  He clears away the plates when we are done.  We curl up on the sofa under a blanket.  “What do you want to see today?” I ask him.

“You.”  He kisses me, “Naked.”  His eyes twinkling.

“I can barely move after yesterday morning!”

“Didn’t say I was going to fuk you, just that I want to see you naked.”

“MMmk.”  I stand up, tossing the blanket aside and take his hand.  Leading him back toward my office and into that bathroom.  The only one with a tub in it.  I had replaced the stupid shallow apartment tub with an old-fashioned claw footed cast iron monster tub.  Turning on the taps to start filling it, I pull off my clothes.  Then I start pulling off James’.  I dump some bath salts into the waters, then I step into the tub and sit.  James slides in behind me.  Using my toes, I turn off the water when the tub is full.  James lets water fill his hands to pour it slowly over my shoulders.  I gently message his arms.  Reaching under the water, I message his thighs and calves.  James gently rolls me to the side and rubs my back, making me sigh in contentment.  He still flinches at the sight of my bruised arms.  I move his hand between my legs, “I can still feel you” I purr into his ear.  His other hand grabs my head and kisses me deeply.

“I love you” he whispers.

“I love you” I whisper back.  My insides fluttering.  My heart soaring.  My brain screaming ‘Hang on a second here.’  I pushed that last thought to the side.

We lay there in the tub, wrapped in each other’s arms until the water begins to chill.  Since it is a cast iron tub, that takes some time.  We finally climb out and wrap up in towels and cross my apartment to pull on some clothes. 

“What time is the gala thingy?” James asked.

“We have to be there no later than 5pm.”  I look at the clock, it was just coming up on 1pm.  “Do you want some lunch?  There’s paella left.”

“mmm!  That sounds great!” as he kisses the back of my neck.

Pulling on clean Yoga pants and a t-shirt – trying to keep the bruises from showing - I quickly get into the kitchen and pull out the paella.  James comes up behind me as I put the dish into the oven.  He wraps his arms around me as I set the temp and a timer.  His hands grab my boobs pulling me into his chest, his face buried in my neck.  “What are you doing?” I giggle.

“Hugging you.”

“Groping my boobs!”  He gently squeezes them.  I reach back with both hands and grab any part of him I can – his head and a hip.  His mouth starts working on my neck.  I pull away slightly, “No hickies today.”  The suction becomes pressure, but I can feel him smile.  I pull his head a little closer, “Tonight” I whisper.  I can feel his question, “I’m wearing a sweater and scarf tomorrow.”  His kisses are little harder.  I sigh out a laugh.  Pulling his hands from my boobs, I turn in his arms.  He rests his hands on my ass.  I caress his face with both hands.  “You are so handsome.”  I can see the doubt in those big blue eyes.  “You are.”  I pull his face to mine and kiss his lips wrapping an arm around his head.  His arms wrap around my waist.  We are still kissing when the timer goes off.  I pull away gently, “I don’t want to burn lunch” my hands holding his head.

He smiles at me, “Please don’t burn the paella.  It should be really good today since it’s marinated.”

I smile at him, “I can’t reach into the oven.”

“Hmmm.”  He looks at me, the oven and back to me.  “I suppose…” as he gently releases me.

Our hands slowly drift off the other.  I turn off the timer and check in the oven.  It’s bubbling nicely.  Grabbing a couple hot pad holders I pull out the dish.  James has already pulled out the two bowls from the dishwasher.  I grab the leftover rice from the fridge and pop it into the microwave.  James pulls out two spoons and napkins and has the table set by the time the microwave is done. 

Opening the fridge, “Drink?”

Pulling the rice from the microwave, I start portioning out our lunch, “Uhmmm, Obituary today, thanks!”  He kisses the top of my head as he passes me.  Picking up the bowls, I follow him to the table.

He takes a bite, “This is even better today!”

Nodding, “It usually is better a day or so later.”

We’re about done when the doorbell rings.  I answer the door, “Carl.”

“Your bird, Miss Mooreland” he smiles.

“Actually, it’s his, but ok!” I open the door wider.

Carl carries the bag from the store to the kitchen and James joins us.  He opens the bag and unwraps the butcher paper from the bird.  Since it was a fresh one, it wasn’t covered in plastic wrapping.  Nodding, “Looks fine” James smiles.

“Excellent!” Carl says as he heads back to the front door.

I follow, “Carl, we’re going to need a car service for this evening.”

“Going to the Gala?”

“Yes, but the catch is, the gown I’ll be wearing I can’t bend over.”  I am ever so slightly embarrassed. 

Carls’ eyebrows knit together, “This one is a challenge, but I’ll see what I can do for you.”  He steps out into the hallway, “Pick up about 4pm?”

“Yes please.”

Nodding, “I’ll ring you!” and he’s off down the hallway with his cart full of turkey deliveries.

I close the door and go back to the kitchen.  James has put the clean dishes away and is working on putting the dirties in it.  “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome!”  He cocks a goofy grin, “I had an ulterior motive.”

Looking askance at him, “And that was….”

“I need a pan for the bird.”

“Ahh.”  Going to another high cupboard, I manage to swing the door open, “There are a couple in here.” 

James comes up behind me and easily pulls them both down.  “I think one of these will do.”  He returns to the bird and puts it into one of the pans.

“Do you want foil to cover it?”

“Foil or a towel will work.”  He repositions the bird, “Or both.” I dig out an old kitchen towel and pull the foil from the drawer.  James soaks the towel, squeezes it lightly and places it over the bird then covers the whole thing with the foil.  I give him a look.  “The soaked towel will keep it from drying out in the fridge.  The foil keeps the moisture in the pan.”

“Huh.”  I screw up my eyebrows, “I think Grandmother said something like that.”

James puts the panned bird in the fridge, then washes his hands.  “It’s probably time we think about getting ready for this evening.”

Looking at the clock on the stove, “You’re probably right.  I should wash my hair.”

He grabs my hand, “I’ll help” he smiles at me.

Letting him lead me to the bathroom, “You just love playing with my hair!”

Nodding, “That too!”

A good scrubbing later, we both emerge from the shower stall.  James stops at the sink and checks his cheeks.  Grabbing a second towel, I leave the bathroom while he shaves.  Sitting on the bed, I towel my hair dry.  I hear the blow dryer in the bathroom.  Three minutes later, James comes into the bedroom.  Naked.  I heave a sigh.

“What?” he looks at me.

“You look wonderful.”  He rubs his belly.  “Trust me, you look wonderful.”  I take his hand and put it between my legs where I’m getting wetter by the moment.

Grinning wickedly, “We don’t have time right now.”

“Sadly” I whine.

He reclaims his hand from my body and licks me from it, groaning.

Reaching up I cup his face, “Later” I whisper.  Then I smack his ass.  He grabs me and kisses me, smiling.

“Where is my suit?”

“Hanging out with my gown” I nod towards the closet.  James relinquishes his hold on me and opens the door.  He pulls out his suit pants and lays them on the bed.  He reaches into his suitcase and pulls out a pair of briefs and socks.  I return to the bathroom to attend my hair and makeup.  Starting with a quick double bump to the pits.  Once my makeup is done, I work on pulling up my hair.  I manage to get a couple of long curls left out to hang down my back.  Digging out my curling iron, I add a little more curl to them.  Taking another look at me in the mirror, I like what I’ve come up with.  Deciding to not take any chances, I take a damp cloth and give my sex a quick wipe down.  Then pull out a tampon and put it in place.  I wasn’t going to take the chance that I’d leak my arousal all over my gown since I have to go completely commando under it.  I hear James becoming frustrated in the bedroom.  “What’s wrong?” I ask as I reenter the room.

“I can’t get these cuff links…” he’s struggling with the little gold devices.

Holding out my hands, “Here, let me.”  It took a moment, but I got them in place.  Patting his wrists, “There.”  I help him with his jacket.  I make sure that his shirt collar in the back is standing up.  He turns.  “Damn!” I breath.

“What?” he starts checking his clothes.

“You look hot!!”  The tampon was great idea.

“So do you!” he grabs me and kisses my cheek. 

“I need to get dressed!”

Patting my ass, “Mmmk” he pouts slightly as he releases me. 

I dig out my shoes first.  After putting them on I pull out my gown.  It’s deep green velvet with rhinestone trim is actually pretty heavy.  Its plunging back makes it easy to step into.  I pull it up and James helps make sure that it sits correctly on my shoulders.  His fingers gently tug up the plunging back to make sure that my ass is covered.  Barely.  His fingers linger a moment before he gently runs them up my back to fluff my curls.  He plants a soft kiss between my shoulder blades.

Then he stands back, “Wow.”  His eyes are radiant.  “I do love this gown on you.”

I gently rub the front of his pants, “You love this gown off me” as I walk out of the bedroom.

He groans, “That too!”

Going to my office, I pull out my ID from my clutch wallet.  Returning to the dining table I check my phone.  No call from Carl yet.

“I’ll put that with mine” James says putting my ID in his wallet with his.

“Thank you.”

His fingers make lazy patterns on my exposed back.  “What jacket are you going to wear?  It’s cold out there.”

“Oh.”  I think a moment, “You’ll need an over coat too.”  I take his hand, “Come with me.”  I led him to the storage bedroom.  This had been Grandmother’s room.  She’d had her closet lined in cedar.  I open that door and pull out an overcoat, “I think this will fit you.”  James turns and I pull the overcoat up his arms.  It fits him perfectly as I smooth my hands over his shoulders.  He turns slowly, his fingers running over the material.  He just looks at me.  “It was my Grandfathers.  I never met him, but Grandmother said that someday I’d need it.”  I look into his blue eyes.  “I guess that is today.”

“It’s beautiful.”  James kisses me tenderly.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”  I turn back to the closet and pull out Grandmother’s dress coat – as she called it.  “I never saw her wear this.  But like Grandfather’s, she insisted that I keep it.”  The coat is curly black wool, with a broad fur collar. 

James takes it from my hands and holds it for me.  I slip my hands into the sleeves and James pulls it up my arms, gently lifting my curls so that they don’t get smashed.  He fingers the fur collar, “This is real fur.”

“I think Grandmother said it was fox.”

James rests his hands on my waist, “Does that bother you?” 

“Not really.  I think Grandfather hunted it.”  I run my fingers over the pelt.  “They would not have been trophy hunters.  In the 30’s they would have needed the meat.”  Knowing his feelings on hunting, I smile at him.

James presses a kiss to my forehead.  He fluffs the collar, “It looks beautiful on you.” 

I hear a phone buzz.  “I think our ride is here.”

James takes my hand and pulls me from the bedroom back to the dining room table.  “yup.  That’s Carl.”  He pats his pockets, “Phone, wallet.”  He reaches into his front pants pocket, “key!”  He grins like a cheshire cat.  “Ready?”

“Yup!” as I head to the front door.  This gown makes me walk a little taller, straighter back.  Namely because if I slouch, the gown will slide off my naked body.

James locks the apartment door and offers me his elbow as we walk to the elevator.  “You look amazing” he breathes into my ear.  A few moments later, we are in the lobby.  Carl is opening the front door for Mrs. Friedman and Floofy to come in.

Looking up, Mrs. Friedman stops.  “Kira.  You look gorgeous.  Is that your Grandmother’s overcoat?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Friedman.  Yes it is.”

Leaning in a little closer, “May I see your gown?”

Smiling, James helps me pull off the coat.  He takes my hand and spins me slowly.  I hear a gasp from Mrs. Friedman.  James pulls the coat back up my arms.

“Gorgeous and scandalous!”  Mrs. Friedman actually smiles, “Just like your Grandmother.”

“Thank you” I reply quietly.

“Miss Mooreland, James, your car is here” Carl says holding the door open.

James again offers me his arm and we walk to the car.  I hear Mrs. Friedman say to Carl, “They make a good-looking couple.”

We both snorfell laughs.

I have to reach inside the coat to pull up the back of my gown before sitting.  “You ok?” James asks.

“Just making sure that I don’t stretch out the back” as I sit in the bucket seat.

James holds his hand out to me.  I lay my hand in the warmth of his.  He slow blinks me.  I smile back at him.  All too soon, the van pulls up to the front of Radio City Music Hall.  It’s a full-on red-carpet event.  I look at James, “We don’t have to…”

He lifts my hand and kisses it.  “I want to.”

The door by James is opened by a valet.  He steps out.  It takes a moment, then the photographers go nuts.  The big megasuperstarrockgod at the Rockettes Gala.  Gracefully turning, James holds his hand out for me.  I gingerly step out of the vehicle, grabbing his hand.  Once he knows that me – and my gown – are safely out of the car, he tucks my hand into his elbow.  The cameras are non-stop.  As we approach the doors, I can see the confusion on the staffs’ faces.  James’ name is not on the list.  I stop at one staff member holding a tablet, “Mooreland.”  Looking at the list, he finds my name and smiles at me.  He opens the door to the Hall.  James steps back slightly to let me enter first.  Once inside, an usher points the way to coat check.  James sheds his first, then turns me so that I’m facing into the foyer and slides my coat off.  He collects the check ticket.  Stepping up behind me, he gently takes my left wrist in his left hand.  From over my right shoulder, his right hand appears – holding a pink rose.  I burst out laughing looking up into his sparkling blue eyes just before he kisses me gently.  I can hear the cameras outside going bonkers.  I take the rose from his hand and he gently lets his right arm drift down my bare back to rest just above the scoop of the gown barely covering my ass as we walk into the foyer.  Again, I hear the cameras clicking away like crazy.

Mrs. Corbett approaches me, “Kira!  I am so glad to see you!”  She gives me a quick peck on each cheek.

“Good to see you Mrs. Corbett!”  Pulling James a little closer, “May I introduce you to James Hetfield.”

Mrs. Corbett’s eyes grow large, but she maintains her cool, “Welcome to Radio City Music Hall!”

Nodding slightly, “Thank you.  It’s really pretty.”  I can feel him wince.

“Yes it is an amazing building.  Have you seen the Spectacular before?”

“No, this is my first time” James says happily now that the subject is changed, his fingers gently playing on my lower back.

“This is the first time James has done the holiday in person.”

Looking at me, “Then you will be using your Grandmother’s seats tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“I will personally make sure that you have seats front and center!”

Raising a hand gently, “I’d prefer the front and center seats go to the kids.”  I can see Mrs. Corbett thinking.  “However, I would love to have an appointment with the – uhm – Big Guy.”

Her face lights up, “Done!”  She looks across the foyer, “Excuse me please” and she hurries away.

“The Big Guy?” James just looks cockeyed at me.

“Yup.”  I smile back mischievously at him.  “The Big Guy.”  James’ fingers gently lift my chin and he kisses me tenderly.  More camera nuttery.

I wrap my right arm around his arm as an usher approaches.  “Miss Mooreland, your box is ready.”  She indicates the stairs, “This way please.”  I shift the rose from my left hand to my right, grabbing a fist full of skirt as we start to climb the stairs.  Again, I hear the cameras clicking away.  Once at the top I drop the fabric.  James looks at me concerned.  I just smile back at him.  Entering the box, I slide one chair closer to the rail and – holding up the back of my gown – sit.  I pull the other chair closer to me and pat the seat.  James just snickers at me and sits, his hand resting on my thigh.  I look at him, “You ok?”

Shifting his hand from my leg to wrap around my shoulders, his fingers gently pulling me closer, “You never said it was box seating.”

“oops.”

He kisses my temple smiling.

The lights go down.

Two hours later, we participate in the standing ovation.  The smile spread across his face lifts my heart.  He sinks back down in his seat.  “That was amazing.”

I smile at him, “TV doesn’t do it justice.”

His eyebrows are almost in his hairline, “NO.  It does not!”  He stands again and plants a kiss on me, “Thank you.”

Grabbing the backs of his arms, “You are very welcome.”

The Hall slowly is emptying out.  James holds his hand out to me and we leave the box.  Looking up and down the hallway, he pins me to the wall, kissing me deeply.  His mouth by my ear, “I can’t wait to get you home.” 

I whimper.  “Let’s go.”

He again takes my hand and we walk down the hallway to the main stairs.  At the bottom of the stairs, James leaves me with my pink rose standing in the middle of the foyer facing the doors – I think deliberately – to go collect our coats.  I see him pull out his phone.  Probably calling our car.  He shrugs on his overcoat and collects mine.  Coming up behind me, he gently turns me and then - with a smug look in his eyes – gently lifts my coat up my arms, one at time to accommodate the rose.  He deftly pulls out my curls and drapes them over the fur collar.  I just look knowingly up at him.  He’s showing me off.  Somehow, I’m fine with that.  He takes my hand and completes the spin, tucking my hand into his elbow just as his phone buzzes.  “Ready?”  I merely nod and let him lead me out into the cold to the car.  Again, the cameras are going wild.  He hands me into the car and then climbs in himself.  “Home?”

“Yes, please.”

James nods to the driver as he pulls me into his side.  I bury my nose into the pink rose.  “I still have the postit petals.”

“You do?” his blue eyes sparkling.

“Of course I do.”  I play with the real rose in my hands.  “That was very creative and romantic.”  He just smiles at me leaning in to kiss me.

We get back to the building and step out of the car.  The night doorman, Morty, opens the door.  “Miss Mooreland!  Very good to see you again!  How was the Gala?”

“Thank you Morty.  Good to see you too!  Wonderful as always!”

“It was marvelous!” James chimes in.

“Uhm, Morty.  Would you please keep a keen eye out for paparazzi?”

“Of course, Miss Mooreland.”  Morty pushes the elevator call button.  He winks at James, “When you’re out with the most eligible single woman in New York City, everyone is going to want your picture!”

“Already?” I say.

“Probably page six tomorrow morning” Morty grins.

The elevator door opens.  We step in.  “Page six?” a look of total confusion on James’ face.

“The gossip page” I lean into James.

“Most eligible single woman, huh?”

“Not any more” I lean a little harder into his body.

Kissing my hair, “Good!”

The doors open.  After opening the front door I dip into the first bathroom using it and pulling out the tampon – that is completely soaked.  My rose gets dropped into a water glass.  Two minutes later, we are both naked in bed exploring each other’s bodies.  Our clothes, jackets, and shoes are strewn in a path from the front door to the bedroom. 

[wandering-ghost]

As promised for the @rottmnt-au-summit I wrote how Mikey meet little Godzilla! Enjoy! (Meme art is in development, some issues just came up so it may take a while, sorry.)

(Will soon be posted on my Ao3)

“Ow!” Mikey cried as his body was sent crashing against the wall, slowly slumping down as gravity took its course. A low groan escaped his lips as he finally hit the ground on achy limbs.

The events that lead to this current situation was not his fault this time. His brothers, best friend, and him were simply having a fun cannonball night. It was Raph who caught sight of the strange dog thingy and it was April who jumped into the portal to save said dog thingy from two weird mutants. His brothers and him then found a way to enter said portal and landed themselves in a strange hidden city under New York. April led them to where they took the creature and found new weapons to replace their old ones, now they were fighting a guy who’s name he already forgot about but made purple vines come out of the ground. Their mission to save the dog thingy wasn’t going really well with their admittedly poor attempt at fighting. But his brothers, or at least those who could still fight, weren’t giving up, so neither would he!

He was about to jump back into action to join his brother until something caught his eye.

A tiny reptilian looking creature was laying around a pile of rubble with green goo still dripping off it, it seemed to have been mutated alongside the fish man with a spiky body and plates along its spine. It was unusually small if the goat man wanted to use it for his evil plans.

Mikey slowly made his way towards the creature, kneeling down and poking it. The creature shifted a little before looking up at him with a curious stare. Mikey’s heart clenched at how adorable it was, “hey little guy,” he said, holding a finger out to see if he could touch it, “what are you?”

The creature sniffed his finger cautiously before churring and rubbing itself against him. Mikey giggled as it showcased its affection, scratching it under the chin with the little guy’s tail thumping against the floor.

“You’re adorable,” Mikey said, picking it up gently and holding it up to him, “why don’t you come with me yeah? It’ll be lots of fun I promise.” The creature simply tilted its head before chirping and snuggling alongside Mikey’s hands.

“Mikey!” Mikey jumped when he heard his name being called, he clutched the lizard thing to his chest and looked back to see his brother’s butts being handed to them by the goat man.

Mikey floundered around trying to find a spot to hide the lizard thing before giving up and risking his safe space. It’s at times like these he wished he carried around a pouch like Leo. “Ah fine!” He exclaimed, he gently placed the lizard thing in the space between his shell and shoulder, making sure it wasn’t extremely uncomfortable for him nor the creature.

When he found the placement satisfactory he rushed back into the fight, swinging around his brand new weapon aiming for the goat man but the fire demon inside the weapon had other plans and went off trajectory. Mikey tried to yell out a warning but it was too late and he crashed into Donnie, entangling them together, and dragging him around too.

“You fight like untrained buffoons, but under me, you could become true warriors!” The goat man exclaimed before shooting out a web of vines at them. Mikey ended up entangled with Donnie but the pressure against his shell and the lizard thing squished in there with spikes and claws was starting to hurt. “We don’t spend enough quality time together.” He said, nuzzling Donnie to try and distract himself. “Oh, please not now, Mikey.” Donnie huffed. “How are we going to save the dog thingy now?” April asked, “Donnie’s on it.” Donnie said, bringing his goggles down to inspect the area. His visors' alarms blared as the lab sparked with electricity.

“Wait a second!” Donnie exclaimed, Mikey yelped as the lizard thingy’s claws dug into his scales but he covered it up as shock from the sight of the lab. “Turtles, why are you trying to stop my plans? We are all in this together!” The goat man said, “Ah, hey, I don’t know if this is part of your plan, but the lab’s about to explode.” Donnie stated as they try to wiggle away from the now dangerous lab.

The goat man looked up to see the start of the explosion, mumbling something mikey couldn’t hear and was covered by a giant rock that landed in front of him. If he witnessed a death he’s going to pretend he didn’t.

“Little guy, can you do your thing and get us out of here?” April asked the dog thingy as they tried to break free, the thing yipped and teleported them out the building and next to the wall and brought them to the city.

Mikey drew out the symbol quickly and a portal opened, his family and him quickly entered and reappeared in the glorious city that is New York once again.

Mikey watched the little device break as it escaped his grasp, “oh no! Splinter’s doohickey!” He exclaimed, getting up and shifting his shoulder a bit to allow the reptile thing more space.

“Man,” April said, stretching her back as the dog thingy popped up and she caught it, “are you okay, boy? Or girl? You sure were good through all that mayhem. Hey mayhem! That’s a cute name.” She cooed. “We just defeated a boss villain. We’re heroes!” Raph said, striking a pose, all of them following suit. “We deserve a name like Mad Dogs.” “Mad Dogs?” Leo questioned, breaking character first. “You don’t think something like Ninja Mutant Turtle Teens or… I don’t know maybe - maybe we’ll keep brainstorming.”

A mosquito flew past them all before hundreds more came from the portal. “Huh, that can’t be good.” Donnie said. “We should go, people’s blinds are starting to open.” Leo noted as the sun started to rise. They all ran to their prospective homes, they waved April goodbye as she ran to her apartment complex and they located the nearest manhole to the sewers.

Mikey quickly ran to his room after hugging his brothers goodnight and ignoring Donnie saying it was morning. He zipped his curtains closed and quickly scooped the lizard thing out of his shell and into his hand. He sighed in relief to see it was relatively unharmed, the little guy looked around Mikey’s room in curiosity. “Hmmmm, what are you?” Mikey questioned, the lizard thing squeaked at him, wagging its tail before nibbling his finger. Mikey chuckled, “Welp! I have no idea what species you are, but from watching Wild Kratts and the documentaries donnie has made me watch, I can only guess you eat meat, maybe I’ll test to see if you can eat fruits and veggies too!” Mikey said, scratching the little guy who churred in delight.

Mikey looked around his room, trying to find something that inspired a name for the little guy before something caught his eye. An abstract painting he worked on inspired by, “Picasso!” Mikey exclaimed, “that’s what I’ll call you! Picasso! What do you think, little guy?” Picasso chirped in delight. Mikey giggles and spun around with Picasso in his hands, “we’ll have so much fun together, just you wait pico! You’ll love it here!”

Pico squeaked, chirping and churring in return to Mikey’s excitement. “Now, how do I hide you from my family?”

[turbofanatic]

After too many years I've finally realized I can have my nice aesthetic pictures with a short description, plus my enormous background writings by reblogging later. Will wonders never cease.

Various tidbits below cut:

Tiny's armor has been difficult, because I'm trying to combine the Hero's Shade armor with something semi-plausible AND make the aesthetic fit into the world. It's hard! For one thing, his armor looks like no other armor in the game, where did he get it? Odds are pretty good that the developers just put some cool stuff on a reskinned darknut and called it a day, but I am here to overthink things. I'm using some Etruscan influences to distinguish it from Hyrule Kingdom armor (also using Etruscan influences for Ikana... hmmm).

It's probably pretty obvious by now, but the Fierce Deity's Mask just gave young Tiny the abilities of himself as an adult. It's symbolic of him *actually* growing up instead of that weird stunted thing that came out of a seven year coma. People comment a lot on him being unnaturally pretty in Ocarina of Time, but I do creepy better than pretty so OoT adult Link is a weird test tube prettyboy because Fi Just used the prior guy as a blueprint. Sorry dude. She couldn't change his wonderful nose though. Anyways it's interesting that both the fierce deity form and the Hero's Shade are enormous dark-magic aligned armored warriors that shoot projectiles out of their sword even when not at full health! Coincidence?! Probably yes, but not for Bad Moon!

Okay, for Fuzzbutt we have to talk about the mask first. I'm using Celtic inspiration for the Kokiri, and since Ordon is clearly a reference to them they also get the Celtic inspiration (them and the light spirits). So I referenced several Celtic brooches for this.

Originally I had it so that Fuzzbutt could turn into a wolf at will, but that's not really how it works in-game (which involves using the shadow crystal with Midna's help). Now he's both scarred by the wolf transformations making him a very wolfy hylian, and prone to transforming in large concentrations of dark magic (good news though! Dark magic doesn't hurt him!) which is very annoying but heeeeey he's got a great-great-great (???) grampy that knows how to turn curses into masks sooooooo...

I'm thinking Righty's armor (based largely on the hylian armor set) is a padded gambeson (this poor guy is so skinny, they need all the padding they can get) underneath chain mail, underneath something akin to a 1950's hockey sweater. Those things are tough. I've removed the weird leather breast-plate thingy because it just looked uncomfortable to me.

Righty is carrying so many weapons! Lots are modified. They include Sheikah throwing knives, a Zonai electric sword fixed up by Purah, and a Zora sword gifted from king Sidon. Awwww. It's funny to imagine the big fish still being extremely supportive of this walking cyborg corpse because Hylians all look kind odd to him anyways.

I'm removing most of the back scabbards, because it's difficult to pull swords from them. Exceptions include some odd open-scabbard designs (for exotic swords that do not need oiling and cleaning) and Tiny can hold stuff with his vines. It's a cool party trick.

Feel free to ask questions, I don't intend to go as far as making a comic with Bad Moon, but I've put a lot of (too much) thought into it.

I'm also changing some of the lore around, so if you see something that contradicts earlier stuff, I probably changed my mind! I do that! I'm not being paid for this and I don't care!

You're not human anymore.

You're not human anymore.

Your eyes go black electric blue.

The animal inside of you.

-elegant slims

[alohajun]

♡ DEATH OF ME — CHOI HYUNSUK

hyunsuk x fem!reader | wc : 1.4k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, established relationship au, kinda suggestive, hickeys, mentions of morning after, the hyung + middle line being teasing bullies, crack-fluff (?), slight cursing | request : hii can i request since your request is open? could you please write park jihoon / choi hyunsuk (icannotchoose) morning after please? maybe you're making breakfast and the members saw your hickeys or else, and they are start teasing you. and he woke up and gave you kisses at your neck and it tickles and the members making faces. idk i am imagining let it fun yet fun making angry either from the two leaders

“it’s a national holiday, y/n. hush, and go back to sleep!”

hyunsuk whined, wrapping his arms around you tightly as he tried to keep you still. however, you were adamant about getting up, so with a big sigh, your boyfriend moved his hands away, letting you move freely.

“just because the country is having a holiday doesn’t mean my stomach is, hyunsuk,” you complained.

“i know … so let’s order in. what do you want? i’m kinda craving french toast. what about you, babe?” hyunsuk inquired, grabbing his phone as he went on the delivery app, wanting to order breakfast.

“it’s a national holiday, idiot. all restaurants and stores open in the afternoon.”

“oh, fuck.”

you laughed, pointing at yourself. “i can make french toast, though,” you stated, looking confused. “are you doubting my skills, mr choi?”

“not your skills, baby.” hyunsuk shook his head shyly, smiling. “but do you have the strength to walk after last night? you don’t have to make breakfast if you are not feeling well.”

“pfft, of course, i have the strength! i am completely alright.” you scoffed, standing up from the bed, only to fall back at the pain you felt in your legs. “okay … maybe ten more minutes in bed won't hurt.”

“i thought so too. now come here.”

after gathering all the strength you needed to make breakfast, you freshened up, changing into one of hyunsuk’s shirts and sweatpants. you greeted a sleepy junkyu and haruto on your way to the kitchen, finding them adorable in their half-awake state.

“are you making breakfast?” yoshi asked, making you smile at his early morning enthusiasm. “i’ll help. just tell me what to do.”

“you guys had those electric griddle thingies, right? set them up and we can start!” you ordered, working on making the egg wash for coating the bread.

both of you worked together to make most of the breakfast until the boys came from the other dorms, helping however they could. mashiho offered to help with the cooking, while jihoon plated the finished toasts, handing them to the others who ate it.

“wah, y/n, this is amazing!”

“this tastes great!”

“you should’ve helped us make the princcicity toast too, y/n!”

you laughed at their comments, feeling full yourself as you watched the boys eat the food you prepared for them. amongst the large breakfast banquet, hyunsuk trudged into the kitchen, blinking rapidly as he saw the congregation.

“toast party, huh?” he murmured, making space for the members who searched for seats to enjoy their breakfast. “come on, kids. no standing and eating! how many times do i have to say that?” hyunsuk scolded with a kind smile that betrayed his nagging words.

the endless french toast preparation finally ended, with only you and jihoon being the ones left to eat. you plated jihoon’s share before turning to the pantry cupboard, trying to search for the one with the extra plates.

“y/n, the second one!”

“bottom shelf!”

“on your right!”

all the boys had their eyes on you, snickering to themselves as they saw you struggle to find the exact spot. “this one, right?” you checked, stretching your arm as you opened the door, causing your (well, hyunsuk’s) shirt to go up.

in an instant, the room went silent as their gazes landed on the trail of bruises from the waistband of your sweatpants and up your stomach. the maknae line turned around on their seats, showing their backs and continuing to munch on their breakfast as if they saw nothing.

hyunsuk furrowed his brows at the sudden silence, not noticing what was wrong as he was more focused on your struggle with the plates. but as soon as he saw the pink faces of some members and followed their gazes, hyunsuk quickly stood from his seat, getting you a plate as he held down your shirt.

“even though i had fun giving you hickeys, it’s not that fun when the kids see it,” he grumbled, tucking your shirt under your pants to prevent further slipups. “for now, just pretend like nothing happened. play it cool.”

“doesn’t hyunsuk-hyung know we can hear him?”

“you heard him. pretend like nothing happened.”

“what happened? i don’t know, nan molla.”

you grimaced, unable to meet any of their eyes as you awkwardly ate your breakfast. none of them spoke about what they saw, and even brought up another topic of conversation, but you knew it was only temporary.

as soon as the maknaes go, i am done for.

“we are off to spend our free day playing games, so if you need us, we won't be able to make it,” jeongwoo announced, getting nods from the game-playing hyungs.

“i’ll come with!” you tried inviting yourself, getting snickers from the older members since they knew why you were trying to run away. “i want to play too.”

haruto scrunched his face. “sorry, y/n … it’s a four-player team, and we are already four,” he apologised, looking at junghwan for help.

“i can just watch, yeah?”

“just spend your time with hyunsukkie-hyung,” doyoung urged, patting your shoulder before he left with the others.

now i am really done for.

you maintained a blank expression on your face as you finished the rest of your food in two bites. taking your plate to the sink, you saw jihoon expectantly looking at hyunsuk, his chin resting on his hands.

oh, no. that’s the teasing face.

“wah, now i know why hyunsuk-hyung bought those sound-proofing foam thingies last week,” jihoon remarked loudly, standing behind you as he pretended to come to wash his dish as well.

“jihoon-ah ..” hyunsuk trailed off, coming to the very place you hurried to excuse yourself from the teasing. but no, everyone has to gather in the kitchen. “i didn’t–”

“they work really well. i didn’t hear a thing,” junkyu added, vouching as his room was right next to hyunsuk’s. “i mean i’m assuming it worked, because they can't possibly be quiet when they–”

you internally sobbed, repeatedly washing the same dish as you prayed for them to leave the kitchen. “kim junkyu!” hyunsuk exclaimed, unable to believe what the younger members were teasing him about.

“dang, i should get some of those sound-proofing foam thingies too,” yedam commented, getting looks from his hyungs. “then i don’t have to worry about waking the others when i work on music at night. obviously, not to do what y/n and hyunsukkie-hyung did because–”

you kept the plate down, turning around as you looked at the others. “hyunsuk and i fucked. that’s what you wanted to hear, right? we fucked. happy now?” you spoke, smiling sarcastically as you saw jihoon with a teasing look on his face. “i don’t really mind you guys talking about that, but for a bunch of single guys, it wouldn’t be the most ideal topic of conversation.” you pretended as if it didn’t bother you, hoping the reverse psychology would work.

and thank goodness, it did.

their teasing grins were wiped off their faces at your words, realising what they were teasing you two about. you maintained your nonchalant act as you left the kitchen, with hyunsuk following you to his room.

he held back a laugh, watching you lock the doors before falling into the bed, stuffing your face into a pillow as you screamed, letting out your true feelings. after screaming for a minute, hyunsuk intervened, taking a seat next to you as he tried to comfort you.

“baby, are you–”

“no, hyunsuk! i am not okay. never was okay, but with the way things turned out, i never will be either.” you exploded on your boyfriend, your face burning red. “that was embarrassing, suk. i’m not stepping afoot into your dorm ever again. remind me to not accept your offers to stay the night either. oh, hell no. never again.”

“do you really think i’m going to remind you to not accept my offers to stay over?”

“that’s a valid point. i’ll just remind myself.”

hyunsuk chuckled, nodding to himself. “do you have any plans for the day? we have nothing to do,” he inquired, making you suspicious since he looked at you weirdly.

“not really. what about you?” you shook your head, shrugging. “have anything to do?”

“i was thinking … maybe a repeat of last night.”

it was reasonable enough that hyunsuk got hit by a pillow multiple times, courtesy of you. he deserved it, especially after not really doing anything when his members were teasing you two about your late-night activities.

“i don’t know what to do with you, choi hyunsuk. you are going to be the death of me.”

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TREASURE MASTERLIST

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[cryptidbutchh]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL “puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

[rahullkohli]

alrighty. due to popular demand, here's the recipe for the cookies i baked yesterday. if you try them out, please let me know what you think. also, i am danish, so we're using the metric system, and celsius ha!

150 g butter, room temp - i use plantbased and none of that unsalted nonsense

100 g sugar - i use cane sugar, which technically is more aromatic in the taste than white sugar, but it really doesn't matter

100 g brown sugar

200 g flour - i just use regular all purpose flour as white as my scandinavian viking ass

100 g nuts - i did a mix of almonds and hazel nuts, but you just mix to your fancy with whatever you like, or completely leave them out. you might even say that you can just, ahem, go nuts

100 g chocolate - i used 72% because it's got that lovely dark flavor but not so dark that it makes your tongue dry. but again, use whatever kind of chocolate you like. maybe even mix types.

1 egg m/l - use organic eggs, dude. or at least free range. caged chickens live under awful conditions. plus, there really is a difference in taste, i swear.

1/2 teaspoon vanilla powder

1 teaspoon baking powder

01. start out by plopping your butter in a bowl, with the egg and both types of sugar. now mix that all up until it's nice and smooth. using an electric mixer is cool, but if you don't have one, or you're just real buff and wanna flex your skillz then you don't need that.

02. then you add vanilla and baking powder, and carefully add the flour little by little. i mix that in with a soft spatula so the egg/sugar/butter mix doesn't loose that fluffy texture.

03. after all that is mixed to a lovely soft and smooth mix, you fold in the chopped nuts and chocolate. and if you don't know what folding something in a recipe means (i'm looking at you, david and moira rose!!!) basically it's where you take your spatula or spoon and literally fold the cookie dough mix again and again, until the nuts and chocolate has blended in with the rest.

04. now you put that baby in the fridge. kick back, chill a bit and watch an ep or three of your fave show. i gave it about three eps of the good place.

05. then you put some paper on those plates that go in the oven that i can't remember the word for right now. so, what i do is i have a cup of medium temperatur water and a spoon that goes in the water that i use to shape the dough into little balls. i use the tablespoon size from a set of measuring spoons because it gives a pretty decent size. if you dip the spoon in the water between every ball then the dough won't stick so much and it won't be super messy.

06. anyway, then the plate thingy with the balls on goes back in the fridge if you got room for that. if you don't it's cool, then you can just make pop those babies right in the oven. the reason i like to put them back in the fridge is because that way they get the slight golden edge around and get a little bit more chewy in the center, because when they start to splat out when they get hot they won't splat out as much as if they aren't super cold. but it's still good either way, i promise. it's a consistency thing. and an ocd thing with the shape.

07. so if you put them back in the fridge that's when you turn the oven on at 175 degrees hot air. i gave mine 10 minutes, but it's a little so-so depending on the oven, so i would say start out with 10 and if they still look a little pale, give them a minute or two more.

08. and then you just let them cool off on a rack, and burn your tongue when you're too impatient too wait for that shit.

[fanficfreekmcu]

Introducing Dýrfinna of Vanaheim (2)

ᚳᚻᚫᛈᛏᛖᚱ ᛚᛁᛋᛏ, ᛋᚢᛗᛗᚫᚱᚣ, & ᚹᚫᚱᚾᛁᚾᚷᛋ

“Fandral,” Thor placed his hand on his shoulder while drunkenly swinging his stein of mead. “How goes, my friend?”

“It goes well,” he grinned broadly. “Any prospects or conquests on your plate for tonight?” he took a glance at all of the ladies standing around the bonfire.

“I have not found the one I want,” he looked around as well.

“Don’t be too picky, I might just pluck them all up before you make up your mind.”

“Have fun!” he grinned.

“I shall!” he laughed before walking off toward the ladies.

Thor took a drink of his mead and threw his head back, looking up at the stars. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep his hands off of Finna, and tonight would be no different. He had felt an attraction to her since the moment she joined Sif’s Shieldmaiden Regiment. They had grown close in friendship and she flirted with him relentlessly, but now he wanted more.

He wanted her.

He laughed at the thought. He wondered what the feisty ginger woman would think of the Prince of Asgard finally making his move?

The breeze coming off of the ocean called to him and pulled him toward the waves as he slowly came upon the shadowy figure on the beach. It seemed like a boulder that was moving, but sounded like girls as he stopped and eavesdropped on them.

“Ow!” one yelled.

“Hold still!”

“Finna, make a glowy light thingie!”

“Oh, right. There.”

“That looks horrible!

“Shhhhh!” multiple girls hissed.

“Stop pulling your foot away!”

“It hurts!”

“Would someone please hold her…”

“Ahhhh!”

“Got it!”

“Ladies?” Thor staggered toward them.

Three young ladies looked up at him from standing around a blonde that was sitting in the sand. Finna held up her right hand, which was glowing white as blood dripped from her left hand. The two others were holding their friend’s leg and ankle.

“May I be of assistance?” he slurred.

“We’ve got it, now!” one hiccuped.

“Nina!” Finna scolded her. “Use your manners!”

“There’s no need,” Thor swayed drunkenly. “Intoxication negates the need for curtsey.”

“Well then, Prince Fancy Pants, could you please put those strong arms to work and carry Bryn to the water? She needs to rinse out her wound.”

“As you wish, Captain Finna,” he placed his stein onto the sand and whipped Bryn up into his arms.

Finna giggled as she stole Thor’s drink and headed to a rock to sit and watch him.

“Oh my stars, that’s Prince Thor!” Nina screamed into her ear.

“How very perceptive of you, darling,” she grinned.

“He really is everything my sister described,” she mumbled.

“He does have a reputation with the ladies,” Finna dropped her eyes away from him.

“So does Fandral,” she giggled as Finna smiled. They both quieted as Thor approached them and reached for his stein.

“Thank you for helping Bryn,” Finna pulled her hand away playfully.

“It was my pleasure,” he reached over her, pushing his hips between her legs as he looked down at her. He wrapped his fingers around the cup as his heart beat against his chest. “Captain Finna.”

“Prince Fancy Pants,” she grinned.

“Now that would be my brother,” he grinned. “Loki’s trousers are much fancier than mine.”

She giggled against him. “Fine then. Prince Muscles it is.”

“I like that better,” he tipped his head back as Bryn hopped over to them with the help of Gita.

“Would you like a bit of help in getting to your tent, my darlin’?” Finna slid off of the rock and wrapped her arms around her friend.

“Aye,” she sighed. “Stupid sharp shells,” she pouted.

“You poor thing,” Nina looked over at Thor. “Thank you for your assistance tonight, My Prince.”

“Would you care for an escort?” he couldn’t look away from Finna.

Bryn cocked her eyebrow before breaking into a wide grin. “Please.”

He chuckled before handing his stein off to Finna and whipping the girl up into his arms. He carried her in from the beach and through the festivities as Bryn led them to her tent. Walking in, he gently placed her onto a hammock and  kissed her forehead. “There you go, sleep well.”

“She’ll have sweet dreams, I’m sure,” Gita giggled as she and Nina helped prepare their friend for bed.

Thor stepped out of the tent to find Finna swirling the empty stein around on her finger. He grabbed the mug and her hand and pulled her back to where the ale was being poured. Once his stein was filled, he again pulled her off to his tent.

“Thor,” she stopped at the entrance.

“I’m tired of the endless flirting, Finna,” he turned to her.

“I…” the air escaped her chest as he crushed his lips against hers and pulled her inside. They undressed one another, letting their clothes fall where they might before pulling closer.

She wrapped her legs around him as he carried her to his bed and gently lay her down without removing his lips from hers. 

She closed her eyes and pushed her head back; giving him welcomed access to her neck. Carefully, slowly, he kissed her neck, letting her scent and taste intoxicate him.

Her mind whirled as his scent filled her head. It was like a drug, overwhelming her senses and utterly addictive combined with the electricity bolting through her body. 

He kissed her deeply as he slowly pushed his way inside her, realizing for the first time that she had remained a maiden until that very moment. “Finna,” he whispered as she hushed him with her mouth, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she let out an excited sigh. She opened her eyes as he kissed her, smiling at the fact that she seemed to be enjoying herself immensely. 

The electricity spiked through her body, sending it alight with pulses that she had never felt before. Her body enjoyed the feelings of his against her and him buried inside her, a feeling she had been yearning to feel for over forty years.

Hours seemed like minutes as they worshiped one another, declaring their love and devotion repeatedly, their souls tangled into a web of unreserved bliss. He rolled onto his back, bringing her with him while sitting up and kissing her. As she struggled to catch her breath, he took the opportunity to taste the skin of her shoulder, dampened with sweat and saturated with heat.

“You taste so good,” he whispered happily.

“As do you,” she pulled his bottom lip into her mouth with a wicked grin. She then moved her hips against him until she threw her head back with a scream of pleasure.

He turned them to lay her again on the bed, pushing her into the soft mattress as she wrapped her legs around him once more. Raking her nails down his back, she brought her knees up and encouraged him to thrust deeper as he moaned. 

He began to breathe harder as her third and final orgasm began to tighten around him. She threw her head back and gasped for air as her feet encouraged his thrusting by guiding him on the backs of his thighs.

He laced his fingers though those of her right hand as he kept his body hovered over hers with his right, his eyes intense, yet gentle as everything exploded.

She screamed out her release as his came in the form of a groan, their bodies damp and limp as they lay together on the bed.

“Please tell me why we didn’t do this sooner,” he kissed her fingers.

“You will be crowned King of Asgard shortly, and I am betrothed,” she let out a sad sigh.

“Tell me you wanted this as much as I,” he looked down into her eyes.

“More,” she smiled, but the sadness in her big, brown eyes was evident. “Nothing will ever come of it.”

“I will be King, I’ll… give you a title…”

“No one in Asgard will want to see a Van Witch on your arm, and you know it.”

“I don’t care!” he raised his voice as thunder began to roll all around them.

She placed her hand on his chest. “Calm your storm,” she kissed him. “We will return home to Asgard. You will begin preparations for your coronation. We must relax and just… see what the Ancients have in store for us.”

“Once you’re married…”

“As King, you have the power to deny all betrothals. It’s a stupid and archaic practice that should have been outlawed ages ago. If you really want me, you will find a way to make it so.”

He grinned before pushing his body into hers and taking her again.

➵➵➵➵➵➵➵❂➵➵➵➵➵➵➵ 3

[falseroar]

Maybe 3 with JJ and Wilford? :D

((One “How hard can baking a cake be?” with JJ and Wilford coming up! I’ll admit, the idea of these two in a kitchen together made me smile. Sorry it took so long!))

“So do you have all the flavors?”

Jameson Jackson jumped and spun around, one hand to his heart, a speech slide appearing between him and the fluorescent pink and yellow man as if some kind of defense. “Jeepers! I didn’t hear your knock at the door!”

Wilford frowned and waved the slide away before breaking into a manic grin. “Come now, who needs doors to get anywhere?”

“…Most people, I would think.” Jameson hid his step back from the man by leaning against the kitchen counter. “Why are you here, Wilford?”

Wilford, in a rare moment of awareness, tilted his head past the slide to give the other man a suspicious stare. “You know, for some reason I’m getting the sense that you’re not super comfy with my being here. But that’s just ridiculous, of course!”

Jameson frowned and pointed a finger at him. “Ridiculous?! You’ve turned a gun on me before, not to mention my friends!”

Wilford shrugged. “Existential crisis, happens to everybody! Besides, I’ve turned a gun on everyone at least once, it’s kind of my thing.”

“The last time we were in a house together, you tried to hunt me down like some kind of animal!”

“Ah.” Wilford paused and said, “In my defense, you did have that Antiwhatsit hanging around in your head. Plus, I kind of hoped you would have forgotten about that.”

“…Fair enough.”

Wilford beamed at him and moved toward the counter, only to be stopped short by another speech slide.

“But that doesn’t answer my question.”

Wilford read the words and turned toward him. “Which was…?”

“Why are you here?”

“Why, to bake a cake of course! Didn’t you get my message?” Wilford peered around Jameson to look at the flour, eggs, and other materials carefully arranged on the counter beside several bowls and pans. “Or do you always have baking supplies out and ready to go? Because I thoroughly approve if so.”

Seeing Jameson’s baffled expression, Wilford sighed and placed his hands on the gentleman’s shoulders. “JJ. Jameson Jackson. Jamieboy. J. Jonah Jameson—”

“Not my name—”

“Shush!” Wilford slapped a finger over JJ’s mouth, making the speech slide that appeared cut off and flimsier than the others. “Have you, or have you not, noticed that these days the others are a bit down in the mouth? They’re not going out, keeping away from other people—”

“You mean because people are supposed to be staying home and not breaking quarantine?” Jameson gave Wilford and the door a meaningful look, for all the good it did.

“Yes, yes, that’s what Dr. Iplier keeps telling me. That is, when he isn’t working himself to the bone at the hospital. Your doc’s doing the same thing, isn’t he?”

Wilford’s eyes bored knowingly into JJ, who thought of how Dr. Schneeplestein had been coming home at odd hours just to disappear straight into his room or more often his study. It had been days since they’d spoken to each other despite living right down the hall from each other.

“And what about the others?” Wilford pressed. “How are they doing?”

“I admit, the mood has changed in the house,” Jameson said slowly. When Wilford waited for more, he sighed and added, “We’ve never gone this long without a visit from Master McLoughlin. Jackieboy has volunteered to run supplies for those in the neighborhood who need it, but staying inside so much is not his cup of jam. Poor Chase has lost all motivation to continue his video logs, while Marvin…”

He paused. Actually, outside of cancelling his shows for the foreseeable future, the magician hadn’t changed his habits that much. Not leaving his study for days at a time was perfectly normal behavior for him, although he was more willing to volunteer to go to the grocery store these days to save his brothers from having to do it.

Wilford nodded. “My boys are avoiding each other as well. The house hasn’t been this quiet in, well, ever, even Dark has noticed! Yan can’t go to school to see Senpai, Bim can’t find guests for his show, and you don’t know cabin fever until it affects the Ipliers.”

Jameson shuddered, not even wanting to imagine what that looked like. The Iplier house on a normal day was bad enough.

“Why, even Y/N has taken to self-isolating over at Mark and Amy’s place, and apparently taking them out for the occasional adventure in the middle of the night is ‘dangerous’ and ‘irresponsible’ all of a sudden.”

JJ considered pointing out it probably wasn’t “all of a sudden” but thought better of it.

“The point, my son of Jacks, is that they’re all too focused on the bad things, and don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of it to go around these days.” Wilford threw an arm around Jameson’s shoulder and spoke in a low, conspiratorial tone. “But you and me? We’ve been through this before, haven’t we? And we know the secret: this too will pass. We’ll get there, eventually. But until then, we need to get the others’ spirits up!”

“And to do that, we’re going to bake a cake?” Jameson’s slide failed to convey his doubt, but he had to admit the idea had a kind of simple charm to it.

“Now you get it!” Wilford said, thumping him hard on the back before turning to the arrayed ingredients. “This is going to be great!”

“Well, I do have some baking experience,” Jameson said as he picked up a simple recipe for a yellow cake he had laid to the side earlier. “And as long as we follow the recipe—Hey!”

Wilford snatched the recipe from JJ’s hand and tore it up with a snort. “We don’t need no recipe! How hard can baking a cake be?”

Jameson sighed, his palm pushing the brim of his bowler hat so far up it threatened to fall off of his head. This was going to be a long day.

After convincing Wilford that hands did not make for good measuring devices, an argument that went on for far too long, they managed to get as far as mixing together the sugar and butter before Jameson tapped his chin.

“Next is the eggs, I think. Was it two or three—Ah! Maybe I should be the one to—”

Too late. Wilford had already picked up an egg and, with one hand, cracked it over the bowl before tossing the eggshell over his shoulder and into the trash can without a single glance.

“…What?” Wilford asked.

Jameson opened his mouth and then shut it, unsure of what to say as Wilford continued to expertly crack open the next two eggs.

“Between you and me, I think your popup word thingy isn’t working properly,” Wilford said in a carrying whisper. “You might want to get that looked at.”

That surprise might have explained why JJ wasn’t prepared for when Wilford picked up the electric mixer, but the shout that followed suggested that Wilford wasn’t too prepared either. Several minutes of panicked mixing later, they were left with a large bowl of batter and a kitchen coated with a light dusting of flour and splattered half-mixed batter.

Jameson tossed the mixer in the sink where it could do no more harm and said, “Well, that happened. How about I grease the pans while you get the oven going?”

Wilford chuckled. “Oh, no no no, I’m not allowed to touch any major appliance after what happened with the dishwasher. And the washing machine. And the little mishap with the TV.”

Jameson considered asking but thought better of it, instead with some embarrassment admitting, “I, um, haven’t fully mastered this newfangled machine. I usually ask one of the others to help me, but…”

He looked around the kitchen, which he would much rather the others not see in its current state.

Wilford considered for a moment and then grinned. “Don’t worry, I know exactly what to do.”

“Oh, hey Jameson,” you said, unable to hide your surprise when you saw the dapper gentleman on the other side of your phone screen. You didn’t even know he knew what FaceTime was, not when texting was just barely within his comfort zone. “What’s up?”

The screen went black as a shaky speech slide appeared, the white letters reading, “This is a bit embarrassing to ask, but…”

The speech slide was pushed out of the way as Wilford leaned into view. “Do you think you could talk our lad here through using a modern oven?”

“I—Wilford? What are you doing there?” You frowned. “Don’t you know how to use an oven?”

“According to Chef Iplier, no. Not even a little bit,” Wilford answered with a smile, not even a bit ashamed. “Well, are you up to it?”

“I…I guess? JJ, can you turn the camera toward the oven so I can see it? No, that’s the floor, up a little more—”

It took a few minutes, but you managed to talk Jameson through preheating the oven and how to set a timer, finishing with, “And that should be it. Just don’t forget to turn it off when you’re done—"

“Got it, thanks Y/N, love you,” Wilford said, abruptly turning the phone off before you could finish or answer him. “Say, Jamieboy, what do we have in the way of food dye?”

You stared at the blank screen on your end and laughed to yourself before starting a text to Marvin, typing, “You might want to get some fire suppression spells ready.”

The response came back a few seconds later: “Already on it.”

—

Some time and an assist from Marvin’s magic later, you were standing with several of the other Septic egos in their dining room, looking at the pair of cakes arranged there.

“They’re very…colorful,” Chase managed, but like the others he didn’t seem eager to move any closer to it.

That it was. Pink and blue swirled icing heavily coated both cakes in messy globs, both colors so bright as to almost appear capable of glowing in the dark.

“Well, don’t just stand there! Try a piece!” Wilford picked up the knife and everyone in the room flinched. “What?”

“Maybe I should do that,” Jackieboy said, gingerly taking the knife from Wilford’s hand, who just shrugged and backed out of the way. The superhero cut into one of the cakes, revealing the same colors had been used to dye the inside as well, and carefully meted out slices onto waiting plates.

“Those slices aren’t very big,” Wilford said doubtfully.

“We want to save some for Hen, right guys?” Jackie said, looking to you, Marvin, and Chase for backup and getting nods in return. A lot easier to be polite when you only had to get through a small piece.

Very aware that JJ and Wilford were watching you, you dipped a fork into your slice and took a hesitant bite.

“This is really good!” you said, unable to keep the surprise out of your voice.

Wilford beamed as the others shared your surprise and dug in, but you looked at Jameson who shrugged and leaned in to whisper with a slide only you could see.

“I may have baked something similar before. That, and I was able to salvage a couple of pieces from the recipe when Wilford wasn’t looking.”

You nodded, having experienced some of Wilford’s cooking before he was permanently banned from the kitchen in the Iplier house, as well as Mark’s kitchen and Ethan’s kitchen. And judging by the shriek from the other room, he was about to add another to that growing list.

“Meine Küche!”

“Schneep’s home,” Marvin said without looking up from his plate.

“Wow, look at that, it’s time for us to go,” Wilford said, grabbing the Iplier’s cake and your arm. “See you around, Jamieboy!”

“Wait, you can’t just leave me to—” Jameson’s speech slide stopped abruptly as he stared at the empty place where you and Wilford had been standing just a second ago, before it turned into a garble of censored swears. He turned to face the doctor storming into the room, mask dangling from one ear to reveal his anger, and attempted a smile.

“…Would you like a piece of cake?”

[hedge-rambles]

Genuinely, I've met and lived with so many young adults (men and women) over the years who left home never having learned how to:

cook

wash clothes (generally speaking you want the coolest wash cycle except for like sheets and towels, and don't leave it in the machine for hours when it's finished)

hang up clothes to dry (spread shit out so it dries quick, put shirts on hangers to dry btw even if you don't hang them up after)

clean out the lint trap on a tumble drier (seriously, they can straight up catch fire if you don't, you really want to do that every couple of uses at most if only to keep it as part of your routine)

clean a kitchen (you gotta clean behind things sometimes, you gotta clean the hob, buy a pack of cheap green plastic scourers they are your friend)

clean a bathroom (use different cloths and sponges for this and the kitchen I'm begging you)

do dishes properly (never put metal stuff in non-stick pans, clean both sides of a plate if it's been stacked with others, check before putting them to dry that it's actually not still got food stuck to it)

vacuum or sweep properly (harder than it looks actually)

check and change a fuse (youtube is you friend here but don't go fucking about with that if you're not sure because electricity is spicy)

clean a vacuum cleaner (I'm going to explain this one under a cut actually)

And the thing is most of these aren't complicated things that take a lot of time to teach kids for most people, you literally just have to involve them in doing these tasks when you can and by their early teens just like, once a week/month it's their job to make dinner, or clean the bathroom or whatever. I hated that my parents made us do all these chores as kids but honestly? My house is a fucking tip because I'm lazy but I'm still so glad they did because I really do know how to do this stuff and I can unfuck this place when I feel like it.

I get that people don't always have the time but it takes a couple decades to raise a kid you almost definitely have some time during that span to have them make dinner with you. You're doing these things anyway, have them stirring pots or peeling veggies or whatever little tasks that go into it and they'll pick shit up.

Anyway, about cleaning vacuum cleaners: I've moved into shared houses where I've been told "ah yeah, no that vacuum doesn't work" and it's just never been cleaned. If you have a bagless vacuum, it does all sorts of shit to spin dirt and dust into the collection chamber but it's also got filters that stop it just blowing all the lighter particles back into the air. These will clog relatively quickly and reduce flow, you need to either take the filter, usually a little corrugated thingy, outside and bash them against a wall (while standing upwind I cannot stress this enough) or with certain types they can be washed in the sink (and then left to dry for like minimum 24 hours) to get rid of all that dust and hey presto it will start sucking again properly. Similarly, if it's got a rotating brush bar thingy and anyone in your house has long hair you're going to need to carefully cut and pull those out on the regular or it will get tangled and jam, either working less well or burning out motors. AND ANOTHER THING there's a lot of stuff that doesn't vacuum up well, anything long like straw or bits of plastic and the suchlike will jam in tubes and create fun blockages or cause all the dirt to just cascade back out of the machine when you turn it off. Do yourself a favour and just pick those up first.

That's one of those infrequent jobs that I think a lot of adults aren't even properly aware of because it wasn't a thing back when vacuums had bags, the bag was the fine particle filter and it got clogged but then it got replaced regularly. Seriously though, clean out your vacuum filters and watch how it suddenly works like new.

please please please teach your children to cook while they still live under your roof. even the most elementary things can’t be overlooked. because i just had to show my 24 year old boyfriend how to use a potato peeler and now i need to lay down for an hour

[dfroza]

A photographic memory from november 10 beginning in ‘11 with an odometer reading on my former Saturn Vue that mirrors the number 630 (read in reverse as 036) on its Oklahoma license plate [036 AKO]

followed by a sunset scene in ‘12 as viewed from Meijer on 10 mile road in Rockford, MI

A few items in the upstairs living quarters at Electrical Audio in Chicago where we spent the night when Cosmonaut recorded there

A cat and sunlight on 10th street in ‘15 at brian and Lauren’s former house

A pretzel i ate in ‘15 and a restoration scene at Ken’s market on Plainfield avenue after a fire struck

and these are a few of my Facebook memories from 2010 while writing at a Library in Los Angeles:

brought coffee into the library ~ it has now become a caffeinated storyhouse

was thinking about applying for a job as an astronaut, but i may be slightly underqualified (but i do have eyes and i enjoy the night sky)

maybe NASA has one of those temp-to-hire thingy's (it's gotta be here somewhere on craigslist)

i could always become a coffeehouse blogger ~ traveling all over the world writing my caffeinated thoughts

(but i can't find that in my job search either)

when i grow up i want to become a professional child ~ one who sees both heaven and earth ~ and can play in both of them

November 10, 2010 • Facebook

[lokistories123]

The internship (chapter 2): That’s my girl

Okay so first: to prevent any confusion from happening. This Blog and foreverdrivinginpuddles123 are both my blogs. This blog is the side blog (with fanfiction and NSFW fanart) and foreverdrivinginpuddles123 is the main blog. Also: let me know what you think of this story. I’m not the confident type of person.

Your first official day as an intern.

You woke up by the sound of someone singing. When you quietly laid your head on the door that led to Loki’s room, you could hear it was him. It sounded like a lullaby. You opened the door.

“Hey, Good morning Loki.” Loki was a bit startled that you just opened the door, and he was even more frightened that you’d hear him sing.

“Uhm, hey… good morning Natasha.” You both exchanged smiled.

“How late is breakfast usually?”

“It’s pretty early, but it’s from 7 till 10.”

“That’s not bad. Thanks. I’m going to get dressed and have breakfast then.” You smiled at him and closed the door. You chose to wear black jeans with a white shirt and neon green shoes.

“Good morning Natasha!” Jessica yelled from the other side of the room. You obviously weren’t fully awake yet. You rolled your eyes and smiled at her.

“Hey Jess.”

“Not yet awake, now are we? Did Loki keep you up all night?!” She giggled.

“OMG Jess, no he didn’t. What do you think that’s happening up there?”

“Oh nothing, just you trying to get some extra points” She winked at me and we both laughed.

“No, that’s not me. I’ll just write a pissed of essay on why I should deserve more points, if not done verbally.”

“That’s my girl.” You and Jess got along really well. And she enjoyed your sarcasm.

After 20 minutes when you and Jess were having one last coffee, Loki entered the dining hall. He threw some food on the plate and seated himself next to his brother Thor. You noticed he didn’t exchange one word the whole time. He wasn’t a morning person either. Jess was trained by Natasha Romanoff and Natasha picked her up to start the training

“See you later Nat!” Romanoff eyed her weirdly but then remembered that you shared a name.

“Later Jess!” You were now all by yourself at the intern table. You decided to grab a cup of tea with a cupcake to make the morning enjoyable. After you seated yourself again you noticed Loki walking towards you.

Loki didn't even notice you until you stood up to grab something to drink. You weren’t allowed yet to sit where you wanted, so he decided that he would come to you. He really did want to bond with you, but he was afraid to be himself just yet. That was the reason he usually didn’t tutor any interns, because they were afraid of him. But somehow you were very casual around him and didn’t show any signs.

“How I hate mornings.” Loki said and grabbed Natasha’s cupcake, tore It in half and ate one half of it.

“Join the club. I switched to tea for now. But 90% of my veins are coffee in the morning.” You said sarcastically.

“So, I usually start the morning in the training halls. For most of my morning anger goes into that.”

“Yeah sure. I go where you go.”

“After that I’ll show you around the researching halls and medical halls, may you ever need those. Although I hope not.”

“Okay.” Loki was glad that you were okay with his plans.

You both walked towards the training halls. But then everything came back to you: you were never really good ad defending yourself. When you entered the hall, you could see all sorts of people doing all sorts of “training”. There were different kind of weapons that people were training with: guns, bow ‘n arrows, blades, knifes, electric thingies. And then there were all sorts of fighting skills as well. You stopped walking and turned white. Loki noticed you weren’t walking besides him anymore and turned around.

“What? Did that cupcake turn you stomach?”

“Well… I never did anything that’s happening here right now.” Loki rolled his eyes at you.

“Isn’t that the whole reason you joined the intern program?”

“Not exactly, I thought my medical and technical skills would be at good use. I didn’t think I would be trained into a super spy.” You felt even more awkward since it was Loki you were talking to. You still had to keep away those fangirl feelings (if you know what I mean). You went from white to tomato red.

“Well, it depends on the tutor Natasha. I have little medical knowledge and no technical knowledge. What I do know is how to fight in battles. I’m Asgardian if you’ve forgotten.”

No, you didn’t forget. Look at this man. The divine was dripping off of him. You didn’t want to look like a total loser, so you made the decision for yourself that a bid of stamina wouldn’t hurt nobody.

“Yeah I haven’t forgotten. But before you kill me with impatience, we do have to start from scratch.” Loki shrugged.

“That’s why you’re an intern Nat. Now let’s pick a weapon first.”

Instead of a banquet of foods, there was a banquet with all sorts of weapons. There was something about these daggers that took you interest. You grabbed them both and when you turned to Loki he was smirking.

“What?”

“Those are MY daggers.” Well fuck.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll pick something else.” Shit shit shit you thought to yourself. One way to start a trusted friendship by annoying the hell out of a god. Although if he would do anything, you’d probably say thank you anyway…

“It's fine. We’re here for you anyway. But we should ask for a second pair at HQ.”

You grabbed them both and Loki explained the whole art of throwing daggers and using them in fights. You sucked at first, but after a few tries to throw them at a close “target” (big board) you finally got one to stuck in the board.

“YES.” Was all you could manage to say, and Loki just smirked. You could tell he was enjoying it, but he wasn’t going to give in on the second day.

You trained for another two hours and then it was already 1 PM.

“Okay, Natasha. I think that’s enough for now. I’m starving. Let’s get lunch.” You wanted to go on and on and on, since you were finally getting the hang of it, but you decided to just listen to him before you’d get in trouble.

“Okay.” You handed Loki the daggers, and when he securely put them away again, you went back to the eating halls. It had turned from a breakfast feast into a lunching feast.

Loki immediately went for the food and you went after him. But Loki didn’t seat himself at the table you were seated, no, he seated himself next to the Avengers. But he didn’t talk at all. You did feel a bit hurt. But you also understood the ranking systems. He was the tutor and you were the intern.

Jessica wasn’t there, and neither were James or Katherine. You did know the other interns, but they weren’t THAT nice too you. There were even a pair of guys throwing sexual comments at you the WHOLE time.

“Looking fine Holmes, what did you do?”

“How about you come to my room and I’ll show you some tutoring.”

“Is Loki a bottom or a top? How much work do you have to do to get those points?”

You didn’t even sit for 3 minutes, but you decided to call it quits and just wait for dinner and hope that some nice people would be there as well.

“SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLES!” you threw your plate with food at one guy and the other got the drink thrown at his head. You shoved the chair backwards with so much force that even the chair got damaged. You angrily walked out of the eating halls.

“NATASHA!” You could hear Loki calling after you. It wasn’t anger in his voice, but worry.

You entered your door and slammed it shut as hard as you could. You were still smart enough to lock both doors. Quickly after that you heard someone knocking.

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“Nat? Are you okay? I just walked in when I saw you throwing your food at those guys. Is everything okay?” You could hear it was Jessica.

“Yeah, just some horny assholes. But I need some alone-time. Please.”

“Okay, if there’s anything I can do for you, just let me know.” You could hear Jessica walking away. You threw yourself on the bed and started tearing up a bit. What a hell this would be if those guys were to keep bothering you for a whole year!

After a while you fell asleep and when you woke up there was a tall figure standing next to your bed. You quickly slammed your fist at it and went out of bed the other side.

“Ah, for fucks sake!” After your eye-sight finally woke up too, you noticed it was Loki that you just punched in the crotch area. He was in a bit of pain. You walked up to him to comfort him.

“Loki, I’m so sorry. I thought one of those sneaky bastards sneaked up in to my room, to do god knows what.”

“Nope. Just a sneaky bastard in general.” He said with a high voice.

“Oh my god, please don’t kill me.”

“Nat! Stop thinking that I’m going to kill you.”

“Sorry, I really am sorry!”

“It’s okay. We’re okay. If I knew you better I might say I need a kiss on my booboo, but let’s not do that.” He laughed. You didn’t know what to do, so you just stood there frozen.

“That was a Joke Natasha. You’re supposed to laugh at one.” Loki said smiling.

“I was pretty sure, that you were going to kill me after that!” You pointed at his crotch.

“Well, you had your reasons. I didn’t quite notice what was going on back there, but I did hear it from some other interns. Why are they making sex jokes?” You really didn’t feel very comfortable to even bring up that word to him, but you had some explaining to do.”

“One guy even has a black eye. You threw that plate with quite some anger…”

“Well.. Everyone is thinking I’m sleeping with you for A. the whole internship in the first place and B. for extra points. They think this because I AM staying at your guest room. They also say that the other tutors say you don’t get close to anyone really, and now you’re tutoring an intern. And since I’m a woman 1+1 makes 2.” You had a sad expression on your face and you hated the idea of making Loki feel bad.

“Oh! So that’s the reason why everyone’s been acting so weird... Like I said at the interview, you have something that interests me. But that doesn’t mean I want you as my personal little fucktoy like Tony does with his interns. And there was no place anymore at the intern’s wing, so I came up with an idea myself. Some humans are so stupid.” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Well, yeah. I know that, but the other 99,9% that walks here doesn’t.”

“I’m not going to explain myself to those children. And even if we did have a sexual relationship. It would be none of their business.” HE was so goddamn casual with al this sexual stuff, while I almost had a bleeding nose even trying to talk about it. Must be because he has like a thousand years of wisdom in his pretty head. You just stood there with a questioning face.

“I can tell, this isn’t your favorite subject to talk about?”

“No. But just let it go. I hope they’ll stop after what I just did, and if they don’t… I’m going to need those daggers of yours.” Loki smiled.

“That’s my girl.” You could feel a friendship starting to come together.

[ubeis-purpleyam]

Dream I had last night

I was somehow a very intelligent cyborg 3 year old girl wearing a pink night gown with no shoes and was wandering around this weird Detroit becomes human looking city. I was walking to the pier when I saw like a cyborg dude with this weird toothpaste curl hairdo on his front, like it just went up on the front. He was being kabedon'ed (or pinned) to a building by this big AI dude and I just get the vibe that they were dating and they were gay?? So the cyborg dude with the half metal face notices me literally beside his probably 6 ft tall AI boyfriend and smacks him and points at me, the big dude looks down at me and I smile....Now Imagen that dude stuck in the armor (forgot his name) from Full Metal Alchemist, that's his face but more copper lookin and he has farmer clothes on. His face like lights up (as in happy and surprised not literally lighting up) and he looks at the cyborg as if asking "Can I keep her?" and the cyborg dude says "Oh no! no you can't!" but I walked with them anyways to where ever they were going, the AI dude put his finger out for me to hold and the cyborg dude was holding a gun walking on the other lane away from us. The sky was beautiful, purple-ish pink with a hint of yellow and mixed with the faint lights of the houses by the beach it was extra pretty, I let go of his finger and twirl saying "Isn't it pretty? the sky is so pretty!" and the cyborg dude stops to look at the sky as if he had forgotten that not everything was disgusting and broken. Then the humans found us and they were led by this dude that looks like captain america wearing Conor's clothes, and while we were running away they activated something on the floor that disrupts electric thingies, so the AI dude and the cyborg were having trouble running away along with this robot that looks like that very smart robot from "I am robot". I told them to activate their anti-gravity and I'll just drag them along because the disruptor thing didn't affect me, so they did. I'm running, holding a grown ass man and an AI running with all my 3 year old might and I whip them forward and told them to "Go on! I'll hold em back!" I run into this side lane that leads to a beach and I can hear people gossiping that the dude leading the chase was my uncle, and while he was trying to fix my back plates he tried to take a peek of my no no square so I ran away. I was cornered by these robot things that looks square with exhaust on the bottom, they have those hands you see at claw machines. I charge at one of them, but before I got to attack them I woke up.

[foreverdrivinginpuddles123]

The internship (chapter 2) : That’s my girl

Okay so first: to prevent any confusion from happening. This Blog and Lokistories123 are both my blogs. This blog is the main blog and Lokistories123 is the side blog (with fanfiction and NSFW fanart). Also: let me know what you think of this story. I’m not the confident type of person.

 Your first official day as an intern.

You woke up by the sound of someone singing. When you quietly laid your head on the door that led to Loki’s room, you could hear it was him. It sounded like a lullaby. You opened the door.

“Hey, Good morning Loki.” Loki was a bit startled that you just opened the door, and he was even more frightened that you’d hear him sing.

“Uhm, hey… good morning Natasha.” You both exchanged smiled.

“How late is breakfast usually?”

“It’s pretty early, but it’s from 7 till 10.”

“That’s not bad. Thanks. I’m going to get dressed and have breakfast then.” You smiled at him and closed the door. You chose to wear black jeans with a white shirt and neon green shoes.

 “Good morning Natasha!” Jessica yelled from the other side of the room. You obviously weren’t fully awake yet. You rolled your eyes and smiled at her.

“Hey Jess.”

“Not yet awake, now are we? Did Loki keep you up all night?!” She giggled.

“OMG Jess, no he didn’t. What do you think that’s happening up there?”

“Oh nothing, just you trying to get some extra points” She winked at me and we both laughed.

“No, that’s not me. I’ll just write a pissed of essay on why I should deserve more points, if not done verbally.”

“That’s my girl.” You and Jess got along really well. And she enjoyed your sarcasm.

After 20 minutes when you and Jess were having one last coffee, Loki entered the dining hall. He threw some food on the plate and seated himself next to his brother Thor. You noticed he didn’t exchange one word the whole time. He wasn’t a morning person either. Jess was trained by Natasha Romanoff and Natasha picked her up to start the training

“See you later Nat!” Romanoff eyed her weirdly but then remembered that you shared a name.

“Later Jess!” You were now all by yourself at the intern table. You decided to grab a cup of tea with a cupcake to make the morning enjoyable. After you seated yourself again you noticed Loki walking towards you.

 Loki didn't even notice you until you stood up to grab something to drink. You weren’t allowed yet to sit where you wanted, so he decided that he would come to you. He really did want to bond with you, but he was afraid to be himself just yet. That was the reason he usually didn’t tutor any interns, because they were afraid of him. But somehow you were very casual around him and didn’t show any signs.

“How I hate mornings.” Loki said and grabbed Natasha’s cupcake, tore It in half and ate one half of it.

“Join the club. I switched to tea for now. But 90% of my veins are coffee in the morning.” You said sarcastically.

“So, I usually start the morning in the training halls. For most of my morning anger goes into that.”

“Yeah sure. I go where you go.”

“After that I’ll show you around the researching halls and medical halls, may you ever need those. Although I hope not.”

“Okay.” Loki was glad that you were okay with his plans.

 You both walked towards the training halls. But then everything came back to you: you were never really good ad defending yourself. When you entered the hall, you could see all sorts of people doing all sorts of “training”. There were different kind of weapons that people were training with: guns, bow ‘n arrows, blades, knifes, electric thingies. And then there were all sorts of fighting skills as well. You stopped walking and turned white. Loki noticed you weren’t walking besides him anymore and turned around.

“What? Did that cupcake turn you stomach?”

“Well… I never did anything that’s happening here right now.” Loki rolled his eyes at you.

“Isn’t that the whole reason you joined the intern program?”

“Not exactly, I thought my medical and technical skills would be at good use. I didn’t think I would be trained into a super spy.” You felt even more awkward since it was Loki you were talking to. You still had to keep away those fangirl feelings (if you know what I mean). You went from white to tomato red.

“Well, it depends on the tutor Natasha. I have little medical knowledge and no technical knowledge. What I do know is how to fight in battles. I’m Asgardian if you’ve forgotten.”

No, you didn’t forget. Look at this man. The divine was dripping off of him. You didn’t want to look like a total loser, so you made the decision for yourself that a bid of stamina wouldn’t hurt nobody.

“Yeah I haven’t forgotten. But before you kill me with impatience, we do have to start from scratch.” Loki shrugged.

“That’s why you’re an intern Nat. Now let’s pick a weapon first.”

 Instead of a banquet of foods, there was a banquet with all sorts of weapons. There was something about these daggers that took you interest. You grabbed them both and when you turned to Loki he was smirking.

“What?”

“Those are MY daggers.” Well fuck.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll pick something else.” Shit shit shit you thought to yourself. One way to start a trusted friendship by annoying the hell out of a god. Although if he would do anything, you’d probably say thank you anyway…

“It's fine. We’re here for you anyway. But we should ask for a second pair at HQ.”

You grabbed them both and Loki explained the whole art of throwing daggers and using them in fights. You sucked at first, but after a few tries to throw them at a close “target” (big board) you finally got one to stuck in the board.

“YES.” Was all you could manage to say, and Loki just smirked. You could tell he was enjoying it, but he wasn’t going to give in on the second day.

You trained for another two hours and then it was already 1 PM.

“Okay, Natasha. I think that’s enough for now. I’m starving. Let’s get lunch.” You wanted to go on and on and on, since you were finally getting the hang of it, but you decided to just listen to him before you’d get in trouble.

“Okay.” You handed Loki the daggers, and when he securely put them away again, you went back to the eating halls. It had turned from a breakfast feast into a lunching feast.

 Loki immediately went for the food and you went after him. But Loki didn’t seat himself at the table you were seated, no, he seated himself next to the Avengers. But he didn’t talk at all. You did feel a bit hurt. But you also understood the ranking systems. He was the tutor and you were the intern.

Jessica wasn’t there, and neither were James or Katherine. You did know the other interns, but they weren’t THAT nice too you. There were even a pair of guys throwing sexual comments at you the WHOLE time.

“Looking fine Holmes, what did you do?”

“How about you come to my room and I’ll show you some tutoring.”

“Is Loki a bottom or a top? How much work do you have to do to get those points?”

You didn’t even sit for 3 minutes, but you decided to call it quits and just wait for dinner and hope that some nice people would be there as well.

“SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLES!” you threw your plate with food at one guy and the other got the drink thrown at his head. You shoved the chair backwards with so much force that even the chair got damaged. You angrily walked out of the eating halls.

“NATASHA!” You could hear Loki calling after you. It wasn’t anger in his voice, but worry.

 You entered your door and slammed it shut as hard as you could. You were still smart enough to lock both doors. Quickly after that you heard someone knocking.

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“Nat? Are you okay? I just walked in when I saw you throwing your food at those guys. Is everything okay?” You could hear it was Jessica.

“Yeah, just some horny assholes. But I need some alone-time. Please.”

“Okay, if there’s anything I can do for you, just let me know.” You could hear Jessica walking away. You threw yourself on the bed and started tearing up a bit. What a hell this would be if those guys were to keep bothering you for a whole year!

 After a while you fell asleep and when you woke up there was a tall figure standing next to your bed. You quickly slammed your fist at it and went out of bed the other side.

“Ah, for fucks sake!” After your eye-sight finally woke up too, you noticed it was Loki that you just punched in the crotch area. He was in a bit of pain. You walked up to him to comfort him.

“Loki, I’m so sorry. I thought one of those sneaky bastards sneaked up in to my room, to do god knows what.”

“Nope. Just a sneaky bastard in general.” He said with a high voice.

“Oh my god, please don’t kill me.”

“Nat! Stop thinking that I’m going to kill you.”

“Sorry, I really am sorry!”

“It’s okay. We’re okay. If I knew you better I might say I need a kiss on my booboo, but let’s not do that.” He laughed. You didn’t know what to do, so you just stood there frozen.

“That was a Joke Natasha. You’re supposed to laugh at one.” Loki said smiling.

“I was pretty sure, that you were going to kill me after that!” You pointed at his crotch.

“Well, you had your reasons. I didn’t quite notice what was going on back there, but I did hear it from some other interns. Why are they making sex jokes?” You really didn’t feel very comfortable to even bring up that word to him, but you had some explaining to do.”

“One guy even has a black eye. You threw that plate with quite some anger…”

 “Well.. Everyone is thinking I’m sleeping with you for A. the whole internship in the first place and B. for extra points. They think this because I AM staying at your guest room. They also say that the other tutors say you don’t get close to anyone really, and now you’re tutoring an intern. And since I’m a woman 1+1 makes 2.” You had a sad expression on your face and you hated the idea of making Loki feel bad.

“Oh! So that’s the reason why everyone’s been acting so weird... Like I said at the interview, you have something that interests me. But that doesn’t mean I want you as my personal little fucktoy like Tony does with his interns. And there was no place anymore at the intern’s wing, so I came up with an idea myself. Some humans are so stupid.” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Well, yeah. I know that, but the other 99,9% that walks here doesn’t.”

“I’m not going to explain myself to those children. And even if we did have a sexual relationship. It would be none of their business.” HE was so goddamn casual with al this sexual stuff, while I almost had a bleeding nose even trying to talk about it. Must be because he has like a thousand years of wisdom in his pretty head. You just stood there with a questioning face.

“I can tell, this isn’t your favorite subject to talk about?”

“No. But just let it go. I hope they’ll stop after what I just did, and if they don’t… I’m going to need those daggers of yours.” Loki smiled.

“That’s my girl.” You could feel a friendship starting to come together.

[oldscarredlove]

AfterGone - Part 2/3

Part 1 - http://scarredlove.tumblr.com/post/158033060124/aftergone-part-13 The Origins of AG

Error, Geno > @loverofpiggies Ink > @comyet Fell > (Don’t know)

—CONTINUE— Silence has been the only thing I’ve heard, other than the imaginary voices of the other monsters before they were massacred, so after a few minutes of self-loathing, you could imagine my shock when I heard a glitchy Rip and very real, confused voice ask:

“What’s this place, Error?”

I immediately put up my hood, the electric blue fluff hiding my cracked face, and looked over the edge of the roof, seeing two skeletons leave some sort of void thingy.

“It seems this is another Genocide universe.” The one in front said, his voice seemed to be glitched and sounded annoyed at the other skeleton.

His jacket was black with the hood being dark blue, his shorts were black also with a light-blue strip on the sides and wore dark slippers. His skull was black, his eye-sockets red with blue tear marks and yellow teeth, he had little black and white particles and the word ‘ERROR’ surrounding him.

The second one was shorter, his bones were pearly-white and I could see his expression of confusion. He had a blue cloth tied around his neck, gloves in the same shade of blue and wore silver armour with dark bottoms and heeled boots. When I squinted to see his eyes, I could see they were baby-blue and large, I secretly hoped I won’t have to harm him.

They were such a contrast, black and red against blue and white, in the back of my head I questioned how and why they were here but I was more angry than anything. Well, my home was basically invaded… And I never wanted anyone to see the mess I got myself into…

Look at all these graves,” the error pointed to my handy work, “this obviously didn’t have a friendly human.” I nodded to myself and his statement.

The smaller skeleton stopped in front of Papyrus’ grave and I immediately lost my chill, I jumped off the roof and landed in a crouch, quickly standing up and walking behind their backs preparing to FIGHT.

“It seems this universe had a Papyrus like UnderTale…” The blue skeleton knelt before her grave, his voice carrying a mournful tone. My eye suddenly started to glow as my anger grew, questioning why he felt sorry, if anyone should feel bad it was me.

“I have no idea who you are or where you came from.” They froze and turned to me, eye-sockets widening at the sight of me. “But get out… Before I get really mad.”

The blueberry held up his hands and tried to reason with me. “H-Hey we were only curious to what this place wa-”

The black skeleton sighed in frustration. “Talking isn’t going to help with this situation, Blueberry.” He took out his skeletal hands out of his pockets, this tips of his multi-coloured hands tied up with blue strings. He raised his hand at me and the strings shot forward, aiming at me.

I allowed my right hand to crystallize and shield my skull, ending up having threads wrap around it, I heard gasps of both amazement and fear. “I’ve had ENOUGH.” I sliced the threads and lowered my hand. “Leave, now.”

Error grinned evilly. “I was only looking. You’re a new AU and I wanted to check it out, see what there is to see, ya know, before it ends.” I glanced away for a brief second, I’ve always thought it already had ended.

“Nothing to see here, I’m ‘fraid.” I frowned at his words.

“Oh, I can see that,” his grin widened, “But this is so fascinating. A female Sans and the only one left.” I felt my eye-sockets get larger. How did he know my name? What did he mean by ‘a female Sans’? “There’s a grave for every monster, Papyrus and the human are also included. Did you manage to defeat them?”

“You don’t know anything…” My voice had become a whisper.

“I don’t,” he agreed, “but I want to.”

Far from it but those words never left my mouth, I was incapable of talking, when the blueberry frowned and took a step toward me, that seemed to jolt me back to life.

“What are you doing?”

“Trust me, I got this Error!” He attempted to smile at me, possibly to make me relax and open around him, but I made sure to keep any information of my world away from him. “H-Hi, my name’s UnderSwap Sans but everyone calls me Blueberry. What’s yours?”

What a stupid question, especially since that ‘Error’ guy got it. “It’s Sans…” He then asked me to show my face, I didn’t feel comfortable with doing so and he understood which was nice. The black skeleton scowled and looked over the ocean of sticks and stones.

Blueberry then offered me to come to the ‘Omega Timeline’, apparently it was full of Sanses and Papyruses, all of which either came from different alternate universes. I declined instantly, after what I’ve done? I don’t deserve it… But then again, this was the first time in a long while that I’ve spoken to someone, someone that actually existed.

As I turned away from the odd duo, I shoved my hands into my pockets and started to head in, until a broken voice questioned. “You live here alone, right?” “Yeah, what of it?”

“How much have you eaten?” I halted and felt my cheekbones flush, it’s been a few days since I’ve been trying to preserve my resources.

“Oh! That’s right! In the void, we can provide you with plenty to eat and drink! Or at least, those who can actually cook. I, the magnificent Sans, shall make you the best tacos you’ll ever have!”

I hate those two… — As soon as I stepped in, I was flabbergasted by the amount of look-a-likes, some looked evil, some seemed happy and few were a mixture. It was very odd, I’ve forgotten what it was like to be part of a crowd.

The void or Omega Timeline, whatever you wanna call it, doesn’t actually look as blank as you’d think. It looked like just an ordinary house, the main room was a gigantic living area with a kitchen and a dining room next door (which I can guarantee is enormous) with a several few bedrooms in the back.

All the Papyrus almost made me lose my cool, at first all I saw was my sister in different outfits until I blinked and saw all the different men. One Papyrus noticed me come through and thought I’d be funny to throw me a bone, aiming for my soul, I dodged a nanosecond before it hit me and glared at him.

According to Blueberry, he was UnderFell Papyrus, although most called his Edge or something along those lines. I didn’t even want to go near the pair but I did see a few good-lookers there if I do say so myself. I tried not to giggle when one of these said ‘Good-Lookers’ glanced at me, probably feeling my eyes on them.

“The spaghetti is finished!” Those words killed whatever positive feeling I had, all I felt right then was numbness, thinking I’d see a happy sister come out of the odd kitchen. It was a Papyrus that came through wearing a stained apron but I was filled with disappointment when I realized it wasn’t my Papyrus.

I knew my sister was dead, so why did I hope it was?

“Ah! You’re the newest Sans?” I nodded at the hyperactive skeleton. “I’m from UnderTale, come to the table and select whatever dish you want!” His smile and speech was so much like my sister that I had a deep desire to hug him and cry.

Many universes headed toward the kitchen to receive a plate of whatever they felt like. I looked behind me and felt sick all of a sudden, all I could see was a long corridor full of grey doors with words written onto them and having a closer investigation of them I realized these lead to the other AUs that existed.

“Here! Have some of my famous spaghetti!” Turning around, I see UnderTale Papyrus handing me a plate of pasta, steaming and covered in sauce. I sat down on one of the many couches and gazed at the plate, memories flashing before my eyes.

“Sans! I finally learnt how to cook spaghetti!” “I’ve improved! Try it Sans!” A sad smile rose to my mouth, I twirled a fork in the pasta and felt a tear slither down my cheekbone.before taking a bite. — I was back in my AU, the snowy ground cooling off my hot head. I didn’t feel good at all, after having a bit of that pasta, I immediately wanted to be sick so my first thought was to return and spit it all out. After finishing, I got up only to take a few steps and be sick again, I fell onto the ground with my head spinning and my face burning.

Opening my eyes, I thought back to all those AUs, they were all so kind and entertaining, the best company I’ve had in a long time. Even UnderFell was fun. Sitting up, I rested my forehead onto my knee and thought of what to do. I have a new place to go now, somewhere new and joyful… but was I ready? Ready to take that leap back into sanity and life?

I’ve been frozen in time for such a long period of time that I almost forget that nothing is actually changing, expect my body although my state of mind has stayed the same. As I looked back at the grey door now set up next to the door to my old work-space, I sat there in silence, rehearing the cries and yells of those I’d killed… — As I returned to the void a Sans Blueberry introduced me to as Geno Sans, the lone survivor of AfterTale, greeted me with his expression quickly turning to one of shock.

“You’re skull… It’s-”

“Yeah,” I raised my hands up to my shoulders and smiled a genuine smile for the first time in who knows how long, “I know.” I searched around for Blueberry but saw no sign of him, guessing he’d returned back to his own home. I turned back to Geno. “UnderSwap Sans told me of your story…”

He nodded mournfully, he had every right to be upset. “Everyone knows everyone here.”

I couldn’t help but to smirk at that comment, of course we all would, we’re the same people but with altered personalities. I looked up to Geno and said. “We’re very much alike, so from now on… I’d like to be called AfterGone Sans.” —PAUSE—