#one of them needed a therapist/emotional support person and the other needed people to prove how she saw herself

[allbuthuman]

i want to go back to the messages i sent with my two best friends when i was 18-19 that shit was so analysable

[1d10tch1ld]

Being Winterqueer should be the norm

(Message me if you need, I am not going to attack anyone over this subject even though it does frustrate me.)

Like how Queer Activism is the norm because guess what? Making assumptions that all white people or white passing people could not be going through severe trauma or could not be gaslighted into thinking their a bad horrible person because of their race or adding to their pre-existing trauma is not funny.

Racism is Taught, Not a Biological "gift."

Save your opinion for after you've heard me out, I know I am like the only white person affected by this but I am also autistic and have a hard time being sure on certain tones.

Most of my trauma stems from TikTok, but the thing is I don't view my trauma as that much connected to it since that'd be avoiding responsible that the creators should be taking with over 1Billion people I think the person/people should be held accountable.

I can't force someone into my opinion but I hate being spoken over, I don't mean to trigger anyone but if you are then please scroll past this post.

Racism hurts everyone, including the relationships and friendships someone can have so even if the racism is not explicitly aimed at a white person it can still hurt them because majority of people hate seeing the ones they love in pain.

2. Calling someone a colonizer for being white passing or having white genes is just as bad as calling a German person a Nzi for being originally from Germany, years after the holocaust ended many Germans were hated for being German whom did not even support Nzi's (such as children who were born after the event, It's not the childs fault for their parent including if someone has a parent who is a murderer, the child had no choice in who their parent is such as with their ancestry.)

3. I support everyones right to talk about their experiences whether they are white or not, but putting one over the other or any kind of forced ethnocentrism is wrong and gross. (as in claiming stuff that didn't originate from their country as originating from their country is wrong.)

4. the conflation between feeling good about being white and being a white supremacist is gross, I don't support stuff like the KKK or NeoNzi's. But I want people to feel good about being white since someone who is proud of their heritage may be less likely in certain situations to be against racism especially fi the person was taught to be racism because they thought or were taught into thinking that all Black people for example hated them or would steal from them (which is a huge lie but someone already told to think that when they were searching for researchs to feel good about their race from their insecurity can fall into the pipeline of becoming a NeoNzi).

5. I think it should be taught in schools or universities for people looking to become psychologists that emotional manipulation can be helpful or can provide a good tool to make people avoid becoming racist or even if it's given into someone's selfish point of view they should still use it but not to gaslight them into hating themselves. such as an interaction like this:

"I hate xyz people"

"Why do you hate xyz people?"

"Explain here or something."

:0 Then the therapist can gain knowledge on how to redirect the persons thought process to avoid any hatred against people of "xyz" race. but that should be the norm of what is used in therapy to negate those feelings of shame or doubt in someones feelings towards being or towards people of "xyz" race.

I love how black activists act like white people are the problem when for years majority of them don't care about Black men, or cared about George Flloyd yet did nothing to actually change laws or change things for Black men like putting a better system in place for them? If George Flloyd lived today he'd still have been klled which to me prove as a society we did nothing. we are the society, traditional is not mainstream society so stop conflating traditional with society.

Like the same for White people, majority of racism that would come from a white person is likely feeling threatened by POC people so it's good to teach that out of them but somehow POC people took that to mean making fun of their trauma or paranoia! Making fun of someone with Paranoia about something no matter what is ableist and I will not stand for it but purposely inducing Paranoia into someone is also ableist.

I would argue that black men are often dispositioned into roles where they are more likely thought to be dumber or less-human then black women. the whole George Flloyd thing did not get to the root of the issue which is the Police System --- since no one thought to take it to the Police Department / Head of the police to have honest discussions on what to change to make sure its less likely to happen since it'd influence the training style or it'd still make a remembrance day or something??? Like guys words aren't all you need to make a change.

(NO!) No, more gaslighting someone into not being able to talk about their experiences, some people act like therapists are just robots pre-programmed with automatically knowing how to make someone better yet these lies from POC people (not all POC people but like a lot of POC activists) do reach therapists yet a white person can't say they feel gaslighted or they feel like their trauma is not taken serious for being white --- or other white people shut the white person down, not wanting them to label their trauma as racism when it technically is.

Like the whole argument over, "white racism does not exist" so what am I to tell my therapist if the therapist thinks like that? It does not prove anything to them, it just makes it harder for a lot of people to access therapy as they may refuse or think the therapist is weak because they are basing their opinion on "empathy" and not every feels empathy.

No one is arguing that white racism is as bad as any other types of racism but yet people want to know why so many people go from being White at birth to go identifying as Trace like??? I don't want people to have to identify as Trace because it's just been adding to the trauma I have because I want people to be able to work through their trauma and what I mean by that is not the current gaslighting therapy style we have now. So please stop the way you talk or act about race, you don't need to be an activist based on the colour of your skin.

That goes to everyone, you can be an activist if you genuinely want but know this It doesn't change if you are morally right or wrong as long as you hear people out then its fine but if your not willing to on any issue then you can't really get your own activism across to them.

[tojikai]

OH GOD KAI… (sorry in advance for the thesis that is this message)

I know that Satoru always plays it safe with condoms/plan B but birth control isn’t 100% 😭 she could still be pregnant 😭

I’m going to find comfort in the fact that Satoru probably would’ve had a more emotional reaction on the spot if Naomi was pregnant. (I’m coping so hard right now) I’m hoping that Satoru finally cuts his mother out for good and let’s his father know how fucking disgusting she is.

I can’t imagine what Satoru was thinking. The woman that raised him using him as a security blanket for her own selfishness and then the woman he thought he could have a companion in proving that she’ll do whatever it takes to tie him to her even if it’s not what he wants. aside from himself… who does he really have as a support system? he has his therapist yeah, but that’s not the same as having your person. my heart definitely goes out to him.

What the fuck was Naomi calling his mom for??? “Hey I tried to r*pe your son and it didn’t work and he’s really angry what do we do now?” YOU made the decision to follow through with it knowing damn well he doesn’t love you, you own it. don’t try to blame literally everyone else for your cruel actions because no one forced her to do anything. she made the decision to take the decision away from satoru and for that, she’s scum 🤷🏽‍♀️

i sincerely hope Satoru does put Naomi behind bars… and his mom, or at least gets a restraining order on the two of them. they’re horrible people worth less than the ground they walk on and i hope satoru’s dad lets him rain hell on them two.

now toji… i’m happy they’re both open about not being each others first choices but that’s Yui’s dad. he has every right to be uncomfortable with the fact that Satoru has openly confessed his love for y/n but i hate that he invalidated her feelings of being uncomfortable and told her to get over it when it came to a pet name she didn’t wanna be called. y/n even said it’s not the fact that he talks about his late wife in general, it’s about HOW he makes her feel when he does mention her. there’s a big difference because he only does it in a way that compares the two. and then weaponizing her pain to drive home his point??? that’s definitely not cool.

it’s safe to say the honeymoon period is over and now they’re going to be dealing with the baggage of their past relationships. satoru is always going to be a presence in their lives and so will megumi’s mother (through toji’s words) whether they like it or not. i kind of hate that satoru is willing to give up time with his daughter to make sure toji doesn’t get upset (don’t punish yui 😭) communication is going to be key and they’re going to need to see if they want to work through it because love isn’t enough sometimes.

i wonder what y/n would do if satoru told her what naomi and his mother tried to do… i think she probably should know since it involves yui’s grandmother and who knows what that crazy bitch will do (to yui) to keep satoru. personally, i think that y/n should beat the shit out of her, for EVERYTHING that woman has done. to y/n, to satoru, to yui, to satoru’s dad? i know for a fact she wouldn’t let him deal with everything alone if she found out and part of me hopes they can rely on each other for this.

i’m still hoping for a gojo endgame with a reunited family myself, but i mostly just want everyone to be at peace regardless of what happens 😭 i think satoru has shown actual progress and willingness to ensure y/n and yui’s happiness at the cost of his own and i’d love to see them reunite and get through this stronger than ever 🥹

you killed it again kai! i have so many emotions and thoughts and i can’t wait to see what happens next. thank you for sharing your work and i hope you have a fantastic week! much love 🥰

OMGGGG i enjoyed reading this a lot !! esp. the part where you pointed out how yn's problem was not just toji mentioning his late wife. but rather, how it makes her feel. it wasn't a surprise to her that he'd talk about her at times since she knows about his past, what made yn sad was how it seems like he was trying to tell her to do what she does. that's why she said she felt like a 'placeholder.' :'(( and yeah, the betrayal satoru felt when he found out how his mom spoke w naomi abt it is just too much, and the fact that he has to bear it by himself too :((( as for him giving up their time together w Yui so as to not upset toji, does not only show selflessness but also his hopelessness. he's thinking abt long term, like the school events thing mentioned, which implies that he really thinks that he's got no chance w yn anymore yet he's still trying to make it all up to her 🥹 i feel like satoru's been through too much during these past few chapters😭 anyways, thank you much for sharing your thoughts and for your support <33 it took a bit for me to respond to asks, but i hope you're doing well~ take care !!

[sunnywalnut]

You know. Personally I really hate the whole "men thinking a sexworker is in love with you is like girls thinking their therapist actually cares about them" post. Cause like. Dude. You're giving a whole bunch of people trust issues just to prove a point?

Yes. Sexworkers are actors. That's how they get money. No they don't actually have any emotional ties to you and you're not entitled to it either. Lovely. End post.

But you just had to add that last bit. And I, a person who not only has a mother as a therapist, but my former therapist is also my mother's best friend, don't believe you.

Because when nobody was supporting us, she was. Both of them.

My mother is the strongest person I know. And she will come home telling me about her clients and about the good times she has with them, all the smiles and the tears she shares, and yes. While some of them grind her gears(like when she works with people who refuse to acknowledge their problems), she genuinely loves her job.

The entire first month she was working at her new job, she would be regularly reduced to tears because of how she wanted to sweep up all the little kids that walked into her office and adopt them so they wouldn't be hurt anymore.

And my former therapist? She's the one that saw my mother's drive and will to help other people and encouraged her to go back to school to get her degree. She was the one to tell my mom that "you can do this, even if it's hard." And she was my mother's therapist originally, as well. Before they became coworkers and friends. And this is the same woman that came to my graduation party and gave seventeen year old me a $50 gift card to spend on art supplies. And as someone who grew up scrounging together change and building up off of Crayola and every sketchbook I was gifted for birthdays, it was like gold. I finally was able to afford good quality alcohol markers and a gigantic multimedia sketchbook. I even bought myself a wooden easel so I wouldn't hurt my neck anymore staring at the table. I still have all of these things. And we still have contact with her.

And while this isn't the case with everyone, and I'm very lucky to have been given the life and resources I have right now, I know that I wouldn't have been able to do any of it if that woman hadn't sat down with my mother and actually gave her the love and encouragement she needed to be better. If she hadn't sat down with me and done the same.

And as somebody who grew up with extensive trust issues, I can tell you full throttle that this idea of your therapist not caring about you is bullshit. If they don't care about you, get a new one. Because their whole fucking job is to have you get better. And I'm sorry but you cannot convince me to any degree of persuasion that you can spend years across from the same person, get to know them, the real them, their fears, their joys, their motivators, their love, and then just??? Not??? Care about them???? At all???? And even if you don't spend years with this person, isn't it something to be proud of when you see them succeed????

So no. I won't be subscribing to this idea. Because everything I've ever known has proven it wrong. And to anyone that's been affected by that post and thought that they were crazy- I'm sorry. Because I felt that way too when I first came across it.

You're therapists should care about you. So should your doctors and your pharmacists and anyone who is fully vital to your well-being. Because if they don't, you're not going to end up healthy. And the whole point of going to these people is to be healthy. Or at least try your best at it.

It's not your fault.

[your-actual-therapist]

tumblr legalese (or, why it's safer to keep an emotional support dark lord around for emergencies)

sometimes i feel like i have to add legal disclaimers to the things i write on the internet, like those "may experience sudden diarrhea or pet death" disclaimers they have at the end of drug ads. mine would read, "not responsible for not anticipating all the ways you'll deliberately misinterpret and fuck up my advice, thus proving me a villain."

i feel this way because people are so good at playing that weird game where they take something you wrote and put it in the worst possible context to make you sound like an irredeemably terrible person.

feel a mote of self-esteem? only narcissists feel that way, and narcissists have abused me, and therefore you're abusing me now.

eat when you're hungry? some people can't eat and have to be tube-fed. your privilege is showing.

self-compassion? what if there's a bear near you? how can someone have self-compassion when they're being attacked by BEARS. priorities. smh.

trans women are beautiful? AM I, A CISGENDER PERSON WITH A SKIN AS THIN AS WET TOILET PAPER, NOT BEAUTIFUL?!?!

and as you can imagine i'm like:

i'm not relating any of this to "cancel culture" or "snowflakeism" or whatever other buzzword fascists are using to characterize actual harm as valid opinion. i think the truth is weirder.

rules, fear, and extremes

the expectations tumblr-adjacent people have for themselves and others are extreme. they are extreme in the sense that they have taken sensible statements like "be aware of others' feelings" or "remember that not everyone shares your experiences" and turned these reasonable views into unrecognizable, rigid, toxically exaggerated rules.

as a therapist, i have noticed that this tends to happen to people who have done a lot of therapy or self-reflection and continue to struggle with uncertainty. the therapist or self-help book says "have boundaries" or "take responsibility" and they're like, "i like this concept, but i don't want to make any judgment calls about it. my judgment could be wrong. being wrong would be catastrophic. i need solid, unambiguous rules for every situation."

so they morph that advice into something ridiculous. "have boundaries" becomes "have indiscriminately rigid boundaries," and "take responsibility" becomes "take responsibility for everything that results from your behavior, even stuff that you couldn't have anticipated." the only 100% safe situation, if you're not okay making mistakes and being wrong, is one where the rules are inflexible and taken to their logical extreme.

want to write a fanfic featuring a romantic relationship between two characters who are teenagers? you're an evil pedophile.

you think some foods have different nutritional properties than other foods and that people need more than just cheez-its and coffee for their bodies to work? obviously you're a diet fiend and encouraging anorexia.

you're neurodivergent and you're not always 100% jazzed about the challenges your neurodivergence brings to your life? ableist.

cosmic uncertainty and the allure of safety

these "rules" may sound silly, but they're also safe. without rigid rules, you're forced to take risks. you have to use your brain and assess the situation, and you could be wrong. you may then have to admit to other people that you were wrong and engage with them to learn to do better. you may not ever know whether you made the right call.

on a cosmic level, that gets scary.

because what if you can't ever know whether you're doing the right thing? what if you're going to be uncertain about the important things in your life forever? what if it's not possible to be certain? what if your perceptions and judgments are fallible? what if you're alone in your brain and no one can ever reach in there and be like, "that's what you meant"?

behind every inflexible rule is a deep well of fear. you see it in incel communities, where they've spilled millions of gallons of E-Ink© trying to make sense of their world by explaining sexual success by millimeters of difference in eye position. you see it in dogmatic expressions of religion, which can't allow for human fallibility or subtle shades of gray because if they did, their followers would have to risk being uncertain about something. you see it in those baffling self-help articles that turn self-evident statements like "be mindful of your time and energy" into dramatic extremes like "it's always okay to cancel on people at the last minute 'cause, y'know, self-care!"

enter the villain

so—back to tumblr legalese. my hunch is that it feels satisfying to call someone out based on a rule you believe in, even if that rule is profoundly weird and doesn't take human nuances into account. it's satisfying because it allows you to have a villain.

villains are simple. you don't have to think about whether darth vader or nurse ratched are bad people, and you don't have to waste time untangling your own motives for opposing them. there is no moral ambivalence or cosmic uncertainty. you don't even have to defeat a villain to feel good. it's enough just to know you're fighting the good fight, and that as long as you do that, your life is not meaningless. maybe you haven't defeated the villain, but you know what you have defeated? anxiety.

without a villain, you're left to your own fragile human abilities. what's scarier than pennywise? meaninglessness. uncertainty. being alone in your own brain.

i will leave you with the words of the existential psychotherapist ernest becker, who summed it up in one of my favorite books, the denial of death, much better than my terribly congested, snot-filled self can right now:

Beyond ourselves we sense chaos. We can’t really do much about this unbelievable power, except for one thing: we can endow certain persons with it. The child takes natural awe and terror and focuses them on individual beings, which allows him to find the power and the horror all in one place instead of diffused throughout a chaotic universe. Mirabile! The transference object, being endowed with the transcendent powers of the universe, now has in himself the power to control, order, and combat them.

[vitaminseetarot]

Hey dear! I would love to join your color palette game! ✨❄️

Thanks!

Hello ✨❄️! Thank you for playing.

Your cards are Rainforest (dark green) along with the Queen of Cups. Your current aura is nurturing, caregiving, and gentle. You seem like someone who's in touch with deep feelings and isn't shy to relate closely with others. Almost like being invited to tea at someone's treehouse, or hot cocoa while watching cloudy showers, the energy is cozy and feeling close to nature. You may resonate with being called an empath, or you at least are aware of your empathic ability to connect with how others feel. Emotions, however, don't just come in one flavor, but many. Allow yourself to expand your relationships to let in more positive, happy times along with the sad but supportive. There is a time to commiserate with friends and solve problems, and a time to just relax and be with them. You may be taking on others' emotions too much, trying to carry them along with your own, which can create an imbalance. Try to detach when you give another person space to talk so you're not feeling overburdened. Yes, it feels good to be the person friends go to for advice, but you do not always need to play therapist for them. Recognize when people are taking advantage of your kind nature. Being there for others in need will prove rewarding to you, but recognize your limits and be there for yourself, too. You deserve to have fun with your friends, too.

[weaselishmcdiesel]

AHSJSJ in reference to https://at.tumblr.com/weaselishmcdiesel/idk-if-youre-being-serious-in-the-tags-but-if-you/b7me6xnnx57f (i was the anon in question)

its definitely less “official” than proper therapist, but the letter of recommendation for an emotional supper pet you get is in fact from a Real Certified Therapist (at least mine was, i checked), and it carries no indication of being provided through the website, so i doubt people would be like “oh this isn’t legitimate”

in general is it cutting corners? certainly, but it is a good option if you dont have access to/funds for a proper diagnosis, and if you genuinely think an emotional support animal would make your life better, its worth researching. i dont know if i’d call it “fake” per say, but it is for sure easier to fake than yknow a proper diagnosis, so i see why this would be an issue nonetheless. two sides to everything etc etc

(if youre curious to know more or see my letter i’m happy to send it through dms or whatever)

oo, erm, please take the rest of my response in the context that i really have, maybe a collective of 3 hours worth of research on this topic as i was originally planning not to use an ESA site at all, and im not aware of the specifics of any experience using official, medical, therapy options.

im really glad that everything went smoothly for you, and i hope that more people can have access to treatment just as easily and with just as much documentation to prove it.

But the conduct surrounding the treatment of mental health is unfairly complicated so it's not unwise to be picky about which route one takes to receive the documentation and care they require. ideally, no one would have to worry if the letter they acquired IS legitimate and they could collect the proper benefits. unfortunately, i dont know if my school cares about my mental health more than their precious building so much so that they would dig around and find some critical loophole to keep my pet out

the research i DID do uncovered reviews stating that people had their pettable letters denied and in some cases there was fine print that prevented them from getting refunded. the question at the end of the day is do i trust the ESA site to give me valid documentation MORE than i trust my school to be OVERLY, even MALICIOUSLY nitpicky about the legitimacy of my paperwork.

and, i personally would have to be cautious since it's more than a simple drive my cat would have to endure but a plane ride too, and another one back if he's suddenly denied an ESA position, so i can't risk the letter having even one pitfall. i do hope you understand everyone's apprehension ^^ I will continue doing my research and hope that in the end i dont give my school one more reason to be even more strict with ESA especially for people who need them more than me (because there are, probably, people who poorly fake the papers and then make it harder for the rest of us as the other user is calling attention to)

[phdseeker]

The Unspoken Challenges of PhD Life: Mental Health and Productivity

Walking through the door for a PhD journey can often be seen as the dream of most students. It cements the people's impression that they are dedicated, intelligent, and passionate for research. However, beneath the surface of this noble pursuit lies a labyrinth of challenges that few people ever talk openly about: mental health toll and the constant struggle to stay productive.

The Unspoken Silence of Mental Health

The PhD program is different from any other. It is not merely a matter of deadlines; it's about creating knowledge, answering complex questions, and proving your academic worth. Such an environment can create fertile ground for anxiety, self-doubt, and even depression.

1. Isolation

PhD research is, more often than not, a very lonely activity. Sitting in a lab, in the library, or staring at a computer screen for hours is a recipe for loneliness. Though collaboration is encouraged, the level of concentration needed can sometimes leave researchers feeling isolated from everything outside.

2. Imposter Syndrome

The level of inadequacy among PhD students is always becoming a feeler of not having place within the university and also of thinking that all these accomplishments are a result of luck rather than talent. This feeling generally becomes paralyzing and makes them fear failure.

3. Uncertainty of Future

Unlike structured programs in educational institutes, the guarantee of future for a PhD doesn't serve as a great issue because uncertainty of the job market mostly in academia. Continued stress regarding life after graduation.

 

 

The Productivity Paradox

The expectation to bring revolution work might be attained while bringing along the overwhelming weight of expectations. Here's why:

1. The second one is Perfection

The pursuit of perfect results slows down the process. PhD students do not want to present their works or share their results for fear of criticism.

2. Procrastination and Burn Out

The unstructured nature of a PhD project only leads to procrastination. On the other hand, overcommitting might lead to burnout, causing lowered efficiency.

3. Never-Ending To-Do Lists

Between research, publishing papers, teaching, and attending conferences, PhD candidates juggle multiple roles, leaving little time for rest and recovery.

Under Strategies of Coping with Mental Health and Productivity

Even though these issues are great, they are not impossible to overcome. Here are some actionable ways to cope:

1. Build a Support System

Connect with fellow PhD students, mentors, and friends who understand your journey. Joining support groups or participating in workshops can provide emotional relief and valuable advice.

2. Set Realistic Goals

Break your research into smaller, manageable tasks. Celebrate small victories to maintain motivation and momentum.

3. Seek Professional Help

Don't hesitate to consult a counselor or therapist. Many universities offer mental health resources tailored to the needs of students.

4. Prioritize Self-Care

Include activities that nurture well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or mindfulness practices. A healthy mind is the cornerstone of productivity.

5. Imperfection Acceptance

Mistakes and setbacks are part of the research process. Grant yourself permission to learn and grow.

Conclusion

The PhD journey is almost as much about personal development as it is about academic achievement. Acknowledging and addressing the mental health challenges and productivity hurdles of students means better navigation down that path. Remember that seeking help is not a weakness but rather a sign of your strength and commitment to your goals.

Your PhD is not just a degree. It's a story of resilience, determination, and self-discovery. Let that story be one of balance and well-being.

For further research assistance reach out to us on our whatsapp https://wa.me/919424229851/

[time-difference]

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Self-Improvement and Therapy: My Journey Toward Growth

As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been driven to improve myself and my surroundings. Intuitively, I was drawn to people who inspired me—not necessarily family or friends, but individuals whose personalities and accomplishments I admired. As a child of busy and struggling parents, I sought advice and guidance from teachers, public figures, and authors. Over time, I noticed that their insights were instrumental in helping me make significant shifts toward the future I envisioned for myself. Therefore, seeking guidance from both formal and informal mentors became a natural part of every new beginning in my life.

However, it wasn’t until my late 30s that I encountered the concept of therapy. It happened by chance one morning while I was at the library, browsing through the shelves as I often do in hopes of making unexpected discoveries. That day, a book titled The Examined Life by Stephen Grosz caught my attention. As I began reading, I found myself captivated by the author’s approach—he shared stories of his patients and, at the end of each chapter, provided a diagnosis based on his reasoning. I was amazed by how often they related to childhood experiences.

I wondered what would explain the choices I had made in my personal relationships that, at the time, I couldn’t fully explain. First, I was stunned that such a question even arose. Up until that point, I hadn’t even recognized that I had a pattern. But what came next was even more mind-blowing: I was able to put myself in the role of a therapist and, in doing so, I identified the root cause of my pattern. It was a moment of both enlightenment and confusion, leaving me with one major question: What do I do next?

The desire to grow, to live a more fulfilled and aware life, led me to therapy. It became an important part of my journey—much like occasionally checking your blind spots while driving. That’s why I find myself puzzled when people say they don’t need therapy or react with surprise or offence when asked if they’ve considered it. Honestly, everyone needs therapy—even therapists themselves.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Book That Proves the Power of Therapy

Lori Gottlieb’s memoir Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is a perfect illustration of why therapy is essential for everyone. This insightful book offers an intimate look at the vulnerability of being human, with all its complexities, struggles, and moments of self-discovery.

In the book, Gottlieb introduces us to a diverse range of characters—patients she works with and her own therapist. Through their stories, readers get to witness raw emotions, unexpected breakthroughs, what keeps people stuck, and the ongoing challenges people face when they commit to their growth.

One of the most powerful aspects of the book is the reminder that we are the ones who define ourselves. We have the power to decide who we want to be. It’s crucial to understand that you are not the label someone else or you’ve assigned to yourself; you can become anything you want. It’s mind-blowing that in a world where you can be anything, some people choose to be assholes anyway. By the way, one of the characters in this book represents them—giving us an opportunity to explore possible causes.

How Therapy and Coaching Lead to Transformation

Our willingness to reach out for help, to confront the parts of ourselves we often try to hide, or the pain we carry, be vulnerable in the face of uncertainty can help. We can all change ourselves and improve our lives if we are open to making the required changes. On the other hand, if you think therapy is bullshit and you don’t need it at all, chances are you need it the most.

Like therapy, life coaching offers a supportive space for self-exploration and personal development. Coaching empowers individuals to confront their limiting beliefs, set meaningful goals, and create new pathways to personal fulfillment. It’s about taking ownership of your life and making bold moves—whether that’s shifting careers, overcoming personal challenges, or finding deeper meaning in your day-to-day existence.

Ready to Grow? Let’s Make it Happen Together.

[tulasihealth]

Dealing with Grief and Loss: Tulasi Healthcare’s Compassionate Care

Grief and loss can be very profound and dramatically affect the mind and the emotions. It might be the demise of a loved one, a relationship getting ruined, or other major life transitions that make the sting of loss unbearable. Tulasi Healthcare realizes that this is a very complex issue with regard to grief and, therefore, care is given in the most compassionate, personalized way possible in order to help the resident in this difficult journey.

Understanding Grief and Its Impact Grief was one of the natural responses one would develop with loss. It is an extremely individualized and personal experience. The experience might also manifest in emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms. More common emotions include sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, and even relief. Physically, the reaction could add to fatigue, change in appetite, disturbance in sleep, and decreased immunity. At the behavioral level, there could be social withdrawal, difficultly concentrating, changes in routine among other behaviors.

Though the process of grieving is normal, in most cases, it usually gets out of proportion and could take its toll in the forms of depression, anxiety, and complicated grief—a condition wherein the pain of loss has not softened or lessened over a long period of time. How and when such grief gets overwhelming in nature is critical to understand, and here comes the compassionate care from Tulasi Health Care.

Tulasi Health Care's Approach to Grief and Loss Tulasi Healthcare adopts an attitude toward bereavement and loss that is non-judgmental and patient-centered. The staff is aware that the grieving process does not follow a timeline and is unique in every individual. Based on this premise, they develop an individualized care plan that covers emotional, physical, and psychological dimensions in the expression of grief.

1. Counseling and Therapy Counseling and therapy are another strong component of support for grief provided at Tulasi Healthcare. Licensed counselors and therapists form a team that correlates with and gears individuals at close range to be provided with a warm, yet safe, environment in which an individual may be themself, express their feelings, and process their losses. Therapeutic approaches, for instance, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, are some that are commonly utilized to assist the individual in better framing their thoughts, creating coping measures, and finding ways in which to move forward yet remain in honor of their loss.

Our therapists at Tulasi Healthcare are trained on understanding the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression—and finally, acceptance. They guide them through these in a person's own pace. In this attitude, it becomes personalized, hence allowing each patient to get exactly what they might need in this process.

2. Support Groups Grief may be an individual and isolated experience, but it is unbelievably consoling to know that some other person also feels the same. Tulasi Healthcare has support groups where people share the same emotions or agonies. These support groups will help people to share their experiences, support others, and learn from one another.

These support groups are lead by professionals who help facilitate conversation and ensure respect and empathy among participants. Such a communal approach to grief often proves to be a very powerful source of healing, as individuals will not feel so alone.

3. Mind-Body Therapies In relation to the close interrelationship between mind and body, Tulasi Healthcare conducts mind-body therapies in its grief support programs. Mindfulness meditation, yoga, and different forms of relaxation techniques are all conducted with the aim of helping an individual to deal with physical symptoms of grief, such as tension and fatigue, and to create general well-being.

These therapies also serve as tools for reconnecting to the self in finding moments of peace amidst pain. Together with thoughts of the present moment and thoughts about physical health, each one can find their balance piece by piece and begin to recover little by little.

4. Spiritual Care For many, grief is not only an emotional and mental journey but also a spiritual one. Tulasi Health Care believes in providing spiritual care for the grieving process. Individual counseling or group sessions support patients in an exploration of their spiritual beliefs, finding meaning in the loss, and drawing strength from their faith or philosophy.

Spiritual care at Tulasi Healthcare is given in a non-denominational way which respects every belief system. It strives to provide a supporting environment where clients can find comfort and support as they work out their spiritual struggle.

5. Involvement of the Best Psychiatrists in Delhi On occasions, grief may also translate to more serious mental health conditions – depression and anxiety, for which an individual requires specialized care. The best of psychiatrists form part of Tulasi Healthcare, Delhi, and hence work shoulder to shoulder with their patients who suffer complicated grief or related mental disorders. Such psychiatrists are well versed in using medication management, therapy, and other practices to guide people back to a state of stabilization and a way forward.

Their involvement ensures that the patients receive all-rounded care, both emotionally and clinically, for their grief, thus allowing them to heal better and for a longer period.

Conclusion The journey through grief and loss may very well be one of the hardest experiences that any person will ever have to encounter. But with the right support, healing does happen. The compassionate care approach at Tulasi Healthcare equips the individual with tools, support, and an understanding that is required of each individual to journey through their grief. Tulasi Health Care supports them to inch through the pain of loss to a place of acceptance and peace with personalized counseling, support groups, mind-body therapies, spiritual care, and expertise from some of the best psychiatrists in Delhi.

[hieisdarkdragonchick]

FOR AN ENFP-T WHO IS ALSO 2W1

Me trying to figure out what my therapist meant and that I, a 7 year old, was not the world's most selfish brat in existence?

One side of the gene pool is really out to get me and not in the understanding way....

"Growing up with a parent who has anger issues might make them hypersensitive to conflict and eager to please or appease others as a way to avoid confrontation. They may have developed a strong ability to read emotional cues as a means of navigating their parent’s temper."

" Experiencing a parent who was both an authority figure and often absent or emotionally unpredictable could leave them with complex feelings towards authority and independence. They might simultaneously desire approval from authority figures while also yearning for freedom and autonomy."

"Their upbringing might make them cautious about opening up and trusting others, FEARING ABANDONMENT or volatility in relationships."

"Their self-esteem might be closely tied to the feedback and appreciation they receive from others. A lack of acknowledgment or rejection could lead to significant emotional turmoil."

"Their already strong drive to help and support others could become even more pronounced, pushing them to go above and beyond to prove their worth through acts of kindness and support."

"They might overcommit themselves to causes and people, stretching themselves too thin in an attempt to be indispensable, which could lead to burnout or resentment if their efforts aren't reciprocated or acknowledged."

"Living with someone who lacks empathy might have forced them to become highly perceptive and adaptable, learning to read subtle cues to anticipate mood shifts or potentially harmful behavior."

"Constantly seeking approval from a narcissistic caregiver might result in them placing excessive value on external validation and struggling with self-esteem."

They might become overly attuned to the needs and moods of others, often at the expense of their own needs, driven by the desire to avoid criticism or neglect

Intense Desire to Help and Be Needed: Their background might intensify their ENFP-T and 2w1 tendencies to help and support others, possibly as a way to find value and purpose they felt was lacking in their upbringing.

Challenges in Personal Boundaries: They may struggle with establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, having grown up in an environment where boundaries were likely disregarded or violated.

Early Maturity: Taking on a caretaker role so young would likely accelerate their maturity, making them more responsible and serious than their peers. They would have had to learn practical skills and emotional intelligence early on.

Nurturing: They would develop a deeply ingrained nurturing side, always looking out for the needs of others, sometimes even at the expense of their own.

Self-Sacrifice: Their identity might become closely tied to their role as a caretaker, valuing themselves primarily through their usefulness to others and their ability to provide care and stability.

Dependency Issues: There could be a risk of developing unhealthy dependency relationships, either by being overly needed or by needing to be overly needed. They might struggle with forming relationships where they are not in a caretaker role.

"Stress and Anxiety: The weight of such responsibilities from a young age can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. They might constantly worry about the wellbeing of their siblings and even the adults they care for.Delayed Personal Development: While they might mature early in some aspects, their personal development in other areas, like independence, personal interests, and social skills outside of their caretaker role, might be delayed or stunted."

Driven by Service to Others: Their life choices, career paths, and values might be heavily influenced by their early caretaker role, gravitating towards professions or causes that allow them to care for or help others.Search for Belonging and Purpose: They might be on a continuous search for belonging and purpose, driven by the early experience of being indispensable to their family's functioning but also burdened by it.Resilience and Adaptability: Despite the challenges, this upbringing could instill remarkable resilience and adaptability, enabling them to navigate life's hurdles more effectively than others.

God why did I spend so much time hating myself and thinking I was the one who messed everything up why can't I be angry at them without feeling guilty?

[redrockhospice]

A Thorough Guide to Selecting the Appropriate Hospice Service

Making an educated choice that guarantees your loved one receives the finest care and support possible is essential when confronted with the dilemma of choosing hospice care services. Because hospice care focuses on enhancing the quality of life and comforting patients in their final stages, choosing the right assistance is essential. The following information should be considered when selecting a hospice:

Verification and Permitting:

Look into the hospice's licencing status with the state and ensure it has the appropriate accreditations from nationally recognised groups. This proves that they fulfil particular requirements for their profession.

Background and Credentials:

Find out what the service has been through. For what amount of time have they been providing terminal care? Do people in the community think highly of them? You can learn much about other families' experiences through reviews and word of mouth.

Services Offered:

Hospice care takes a person's mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Evaluate the breadth of their offerings, including counselling, spiritual direction, pain management, and bereavement support.

The professionalism of the Teams:

Please ask about the experience and education of their team to get to know them better. A first-rate hospice care team includes physicians, nurses, social workers, therapists, and counsellors.

Number of Patients to Employees:

A staff member's ability to provide consistent, high-quality treatment depends on the quantity of patients under their supervision. More individualised care is typically available when the patient-to-staff ratio is lower.

Location and Operational Area:

Think about hospice care services that a patient can access from the comfort of their own home, nursing home, or assisted living community. This guarantees that you will receive emergency support and visits promptly.

24/7 Availability:

The emergence of symptoms and crises is only sometimes predictable. Make sure the hospice care services are always available so that you can get help immediately if you need it.

Spiritual and Cultural Factors:

The most compassionate hospice care considers and honours patients' unique cultural, religious, and spiritual values. Make sure the service can adapt to your needs in these areas.

Care Maintenance:

Determine if the hospice group stays together as a unit. The care experience as a whole can benefit from continuity since it aids in the development of trust and understanding.

Budgetary Factors:

Decide in advance how you will make payment. Even if Medicare and other insurance plans cover hospice care, it is important to be informed of any out-of-pocket expenses. Also, ask about any sliding scale prices or financial aid programmes they may have.

Expressing ideas:

Good hospice care is based on honest and open communication. The service should communicate honestly with families, updating them on the patient's condition, treatment changes, and any problems that develop.

The Role of the Family:

In hospice care, family members frequently take on pivotal roles. Research the organisation's stance on family involvement in care decisions, procedures, and training for family carers.

Conclusion:

Many considerations play a role in the deeply personal decision of choosing hospice care services. Please ensure prospective providers align with your loved one's needs and preferences by taking the time to assess, inquire, and visit them. This thoughtful planning guarantees your loved one a dignified, pleasant, and loving final trip full of all the comforts they deserve.

[bestpsychiatristbhopal]

Battling Bipolar Disorder: Strategies for Stability from a Trusted Bhopal Psychiatrist

Living with bipolar disorder can be a difficult and overwhelming experience. It is important to have strategies in place to help manage the condition, as well as access resources that can provide support. A trusted Bhopal psychiatrist can offer guidance on how to best cope with the challenges of bipolar disorder and achieve stability.

The first step in managing bipolar disorder is understanding it better. Bipolar disorder affects people differently, so individuals living with this condition need to educate themselves about its various forms and symptoms so they know what they are dealing with specifically. This knowledge will also help them identify when their moods or behaviors start changing, which could indicate an episode coming on or worsening of current symptoms – allowing them time for early intervention if needed.

Another essential part of managing bipolar disorder is having a strong support system around you who understand your condition and are willing to listen without judgment when things get tough; family members, friends, or even therapists should be consulted regularly for emotional guidance during times of distress associated with this mental health issue. Additionally, medication prescribed by psychiatrists may prove beneficial in controlling some aspects related to depression such as sleep disturbances, irritability, etc. However, one must remember not to take any medications before consulting a professional doctor.

Lastly, lifestyle changes like regular exercise routines tailored according to individual needs (yoga/meditation) along with a proper nutrition plan might go a long way towards achieving overall well-being. In addition, being mindful of stress triggers & avoiding risky behavior helps maintain balance & control over emotions & thoughts while keeping episodes at bay!

Also Read: OCD Treatment Bhopal

For those seeking more advice from trained professionals regarding strategies for battling bipolar disorders effectively, there are many qualified psychiatrists available locally here in Bhopal who specialize in treating mental health issues including bipolar disorders using evidence-based approaches combined with psychotherapy sessions aimed at helping patients reach their goals faster!

About the Author:

Dr. Sanjeet Diwan is a highly experienced psychiatrist practicing in Bhopal. With his compassionate and patient-centered approach, he has been helping individuals of all ages overcome mental health issues for many years. Dr. Diwan offers a wide range of services including psychotherapy, medication management, and cognitive-behavioral therapy to help patients manage anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and other mental health concerns. His expertise in the field of psychiatry has helped many individuals lead healthier, happier lives. Dr. Diwan is committed to providing personalized and effective care to each of his patients, and he strives to make a positive difference in the community.

[peppypersona]

Starter for @surgicalallure

Things can change in an instant. When you least expect it, and that is what happened with Arizona. She didn’t expect to live her worst fear and that was feeling closer to death on an airplane, as it just proved to her when she was on the plane on Boise. Maybe it was karma for the way she went about things, or maybe it was just the way things were supposed to go for Callie and her she wasn’t sure but this wasn’t supposed to be her life right now. Arizona also knows she lost a part of her in those woods. A part of her she will never ever get back, but learn to cope with the persons he is now and try to find some sort of old Arizona back.

But, losing a leg, it does things to people and Arizona was prime example of that. It put her in a depression like one she can’t explain, one she can’t doesn’t want anyone else to feel. Being so angry and mad at herself and the whole situation and taking it out on Callie, that was not ideal either. That was something that Arizona didn’t want to do, it was something Callie didn’t deserve either. But, Arizona, she was trying. Learning to walk away, it was frustrating as she knew she could do better, but then again, she was knocking over everything and it took her forever to get the hang of anything. This wasn’t her, but she was a new version of herself and that meant learning to live with the Arizona she wakes up every day being.

But one thing she hasn’t told anyone, because she has refused to see a therapist as well, is she has nightmares and it triggers some sort of PTSD inside of Arizona. One she doesn’t want to admit, but she knew that Callie would figure it out sooner or later, that is why she needed to admit it to herself and realize that seeing someone wasn’t a bad idea, but she was just so scared of opening that door and really just allowing all of those emotions out and letting everything else she had pushed down out. They have a daughter to think about, and maybe that is why Arizona was ready to admit she needed help. It’s never a bad thing, and it’s never something to be ashamed of, but Arizona was always proud and she was someone who helped others, no one ever helped her.

She and Callie made it a habit to watch their cooking shows together at night, after Sofia was in bed. It was one of the normal things that had still happened even when Arizona was lower then what she is now. Sighing low, she rested her elbow on the back of the couch and she leaning into the couch slightly and she looked over at Callie, and she knew to make things better between them as well, she had to be honest with her. “So, I know you have been asking if i am okay and I always say yes, well, I’m really not.”

This was the first time Arizona had admitted to herself. She finally was ready to let Callie in just a little bit. “I think I need to finally see someone. There are things I need to address if I am ever going to move forward. I just — I don’t know Callie, I just don’t think I will ever be okay If I don’t.” Arizona wanted Callie to realize she was being honest and open and hoping she wouldn’t judge, but more so be supportive and help her in anyway she needed and wanted at this point. This had to be how things were if Arizona was going to allow Callie to be close to her again.

[laundryandtaxes]

healthliberationnow (.) com/2022/04/02/leaked-audio-confirms-genspect-director-as-anti-trans-conversion-therapist-targeting-youth/ how do you reconcile this when listening? I feel like there’s nowhere for me to go as someone who doesn’t think my dysphoria is proof of an innate gender identity but also doesn’t support debunked pseudoscience used to hurt people like AGP/ROGD. I feel really hopeless.

I think there's very little basis for tossing AGP and ROGD as concepts into the junk bin as "debunked pseudoscience," though I think the place of each in the discussions is unnecessarily and suspiciously large in a way that does imply really troubling things to me- a baseline discomfort with male gender nonconformity on the one hand such that any interaction between a person's sexual orientation and their day to day behavior is cast not just as fetishim but a violent fetishism even though both heterosexual and homosexual people's daily behavior is obviously impacted by their sexual orientation, and a baseline discomfort on the other with the question of why children who are NOT easily sorted into the easy peasy ROGD category, who were very gender nonconforming children who are likely to grow into very gender nonconforming adults, would be so uncomfortable in their bodies that they would be dreaming of not having them. To be clear, I think we probably agree that the terms are not "scientific;" that is to say, I don't think they speak to some natural, non-social truth. I think they are terms (frankly, like "gender dysphoria") that human beings invented to describe human phenomena that are experienced by real human beings in ways that the affected will tell you deeply impact their lives, and that they create frameworks that prove themselves very useful for understanding those phenomena. For ROGD in particular, I think people who find it to be an offensive proposition that teenaged girls would spread a form of expressing emotional distress among themselves need to explain why they find that proposition offensive in and of itself because I've seen absolutely 0 good reasons to make that jump myself, and secondly they need to offer up their alternative explanation for the rapid rise in non-female identification among girls and young women, and in order for me to find that alternative explanation as compelling it would need to account for things ROGD accounts for like social pressure to be associated with marginalized people, and the outright swap from mostly male to mostly female patients in gender clinics, and the phenomenon of entire friend groups identifying as nonbinary one by one.

As for Stella O'Malley's opposition to pediatric medical transition, firstly it doesn't bother me because I share it, but secondly it's not anything close to a secret that she generally opposes the medicalization of gendered distress in children. I am pretty sure it's why the podcast began. But even if I had really major reservations about that, I would very possibly still really enjoy the podcast, because a podcast is not "a place for me to go," it's a piece of media in which ideas that I personally find very interesting and meaningful and relevant are discussed. And I think that parasocial relationships and the cultural acceptance of them have helped to land us culturally where we are right now, where we can't even ask questions or discuss these things in public without being shouted down by people who don't even bother to offer up their own ideas. I really really enjoy the podcast, and I have some admiration for Sasha in particular, but I don't have a personal relationship with either person, I enjoy the thing they created because I find the discussions interesting and I regularly find myself in disagreement and agreement with these two women, who are perfect strangers to me. I am also a firearms enthusiast and I regularly watch videos or take classes or passingly discuss hobbies with on the internet people whose opinions on any number of things I would likely find absolutely abhorrent if I approached every interaction like an interaction with my best friend in the whole world.

[shewhotellsstories]

i really dont wanna annoy you but you post about racism in fandom sometimes so i thought you'd be the right person to ask. i hope this doesnt come off as expecting u to be my teacher. yesterday someone said they didnt trust white zk shippers and i thought it was mean but then people started sending the them all these nasty messages and i started to worry maybe op was right. honestly a lot of this stuff is pretty new for me. i think our fandom is inclusive & unlike the rest of the atla fandom we actually like katara. but i'm trying to learn.

why would it be a problem that a lot of zk fics have katara looking after zuko? i always just felt like he needed it more bc he was abused and kataras better at dealing with feelings and she's good at taking care of people. is fire lady katara still ok? is there racism in our fandom? there are a lot of woc zks and i've seen them get hate for it. but the messages op got were pretty bad too. i know i'm asking a lot of questions i just hate the thinking that we might be as bad as the z*kka stans have been saying all year.

This is gonna get long so I’m just gonna jump right in. When I listened to fansplaining’s episode on fandom racism one of the guests said white fans who can acknowledge that fandom racism exists tend to frame it as “just a few bad apples” and get caught up in worrying about not looking like a “bad apple” instead of making fandoms spaces that aren’t hostile for BIPOC. Jag offs hiding behind anon to tell women of color who ship zutara that we have a creepy fetish for imperialism and colonialism suck, but your biggest concern really shouldn’t be the optics or if you can claim superiority over zukka stans.

Yeah the “katara’s a homophobe” nonsense didn’t come from our end of the fandom, but it feels naive at best or dishonest at worst to act like the zutara fandom is uniquely immune to fandom racism. A creator I follow made the excellent point that allyship conditional upon if a poc talks "nicely" about racism is still white supremacy. I believe poc need to be allowed to vent and be salty or angry without being tone-policed. I definitely have my days where I’m like “ugh white people,” or "why must white fans be like this," so I get where the OP was coming from. Ironically the folks that sent them anon hate proved their point. You can always count on hit dogs to hollar.

Fandom is only escapist for some people. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum so you’ll find racism in fandom because there’s racism in the world. Navigating that gets exhausting. There are certain things I enjoy, but for the sake of my sanity I'll only talk about it with friends in real life or only follow fans of color. Before I follow white fans I need to see first that they’re not the kind of person who inspires posts about fandom racism. A good friend of mine loves Star Wars, Kpop, and gaming but after years of attempts at calling in she decided that she’d only interact with woc in those spaces. Again, you get tired.

ATLA wasn’t on my radar until last year so I definitely haven’t read every zutara fic out there but I have noticed a lot of fics do tend to have Katara being the one comforting and supporting Zuko. It’s not inherently wrong of course, it’s just in the grand scheme of things in fiction woc are often cast as eternal caretakers and confidants in fiction:

“How characters of color are portrayed in fanworks, especially fanfiction, is worse than the actual films. They are portrayed as supportive, almost invisible understudies. Any characteristics which they possess in the [MCU] films are stripped and given to other white characters. It is not only erasure. It’s a theft of identity.

Characters of color are positioned within storylines to support the main, white characters. Even within the slash biracial pairings, the character of color is underdeveloped and in a position of servitude within the relationship.”

TheNavyLanguage, Fansplaining

As the quote above points out this honestly happens in a lot of fandoms. I’ve read fanfic for books, movies, tv shows, and comics and I can’t help but notice that in fics the writers often have the non-white character or-- if neither character is white--the darker skinned character being the care-taker, the bodyguard, or the person who is performing all the emotional labor. It’s not inherently wrong to have a character of color have a nurturing personality, you just have to remember that since Black and brown folks have been saddled with narrative after narrative where we exist to serve leaning into dynamics where the non-white or darker skinned character is providing all the emotional support and getting very little in return has some unfortunate implications.

It’s not better if instead of being defined as the avatar’s girl, Katara’s the fire lord’s girl. Part of the appeal of zutara for me is the idea that Katara could lay down some of her burdens and get some much needed support. I always imagine she’d have some major issues after the war.

"i always just felt like he needed it more bc he was abused and kataras better at dealing with feelings and she's good at taking care of people."

I’m going to push back against that statement. Yes, Katara didn't grow up in an abusive household but she has pain and trauma of her own. In fact I’d argue that her believing it’s her job to take care of everyone is rooted in her trauma. Katara needs support and care just as much as anyone else does.

Having read a lot of fics revolving around abuse victims in different fandoms I’ve observed that if fans feel a character’s trauma wasn’t properly addressed in canon, they’ll give them a lot of TLC in fics. But again, reducing the non-white or darker-skinned character to a glorified therapist has some implications.

I feel like the Fire Lady Katara headcanon's been talked to death so long-story short, it’s not inherently racist but it can problematic if it's not clear that Katara is Katara of the Water Tribe wherever she lives. Fics and art where her crown has a crescent moon, she wears blue, or Zuko wears blue when she's in red are the executions I'm fondest of.

When in doubt just listen when poc talk about uncomfortable trends in the fandom. Give fansplaining’s episodes on fandom racism a listen here, here, and here. And very loosely quoting my favorite professor just remember that if a marginalized person says they’re distrustful of a group of people or institution it usually happens after a lot of bad experiences. Don’t center your own comfort and hurt feelings.

“If we truly believe in fandom’s progressive credentials, then perhaps it is necessary for us to listen to critiques that make us uncomfortable rather than those that keep arguing that the status quo is perfectly acceptable—even as there is plenty of evidence to the contrary. Perhaps then we will be able to come at these, yes, these very complex and nuanced discussions with the type of openness and good faith that is required for them to succeed, rather than approaching them with hostility.”

-Rukmini Pande, Fansplaining