#but i also made the mistake of judging them incorrectly for longer than i normally would have because of that

[allbuthuman]

i want to go back to the messages i sent with my two best friends when i was 18-19 that shit was so analysable

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

Just for the record:

I do think Yuzu has every right in the world to say what he thinks about his scores and how it affected him.

It's his life and his career. And actually everyone involved in figure skating should be able to tell their opinion publicly. (yes also Ilia Malinin and Vincent Zhou - no matter if you agree on their opinions or not. It's their life, their experience, their opinion.) Feelings are always valid. No one can tell you what to feel. No one can say Yuzu is wrong. And it makes me incredibly sad that Yuzu felt like he is not welcomed anymore. I feel that if he would have felt a bit more appreciated, he would have maybe made less mistakes in his skates, could have skated more freely, but as it was he always knew that he would have to be extra perfect. It affects you mentally. And ppl should realize that.

Judging in this sport is a mess. And humans will never be completely objective. There is room for interpretation in the rulebook or at least no one actually cares for holding judges accountable for the way they judge at ISU. (however I do think that some fans take it to extremes that I cannot agree on)

BUT what Yuzu never did was blame other skaters or mind them their win. He never stated that he should have won certain competitions and he didn't say it now. In the past he said "I want to congratulate Nathan from the bottom of my heart" back in 2017 4CC where Nathan beat him for the first time. He told about Shoma winning over him at JNats 2019: "Shoma has finally returned to his old self, and I’m glad to have lost to him properly for the first time. I’m very happy for him. (...) Now, Shoma can say wholeheartedly that he is a real Japanese champion, because he won in a year in which I was able to compete here. I congratulated him from the bottom of my heart.”

Yuzu knows much better than any of us what's going on behind the curtains. So if he doesn't take it out on his rivals, why should we? It's not his rivals fault the judges judge incorrectly and it's not his rivals' fault that the ISU did let Yuzu down. Blame the judges, blame JSF, blame the ISU, blame the politics, but don't blame other skaters. And that's what I personally don't like about the discussions. It always gets personal, about who you stan, support and like and that makes your opinion more or less valid. But that's just sh*t.

The longer I follow this sport and the more I learn about the sport the more problems and red flags I see. The toxic environment in this sport in coaching camps (and yes toxic behavior is everywhere more or less, skaters just grow up in it, some may not even realize things are problematic), how it's expected to compete on injuries, how eating disorders are justified, how coaches can even get away with sexual abuse and assault and continue to teach, how abusers are tolerated, how skaters are told to do everything for the sake of their career even an abortion is beyond problematic. Physical and mental health is not important in this sport. I am not sure if any skater in this elite level world is mentally or physically healthy. I am not even sure anyone who grew up in this, knews what a normal childhood looks like without toxicity and judgements. Figure skating is beautiful for the eyes, but I wouldn't recommend anyone an elite skaters life. (Yeah maybe I am too invested in this sport and I love to watch it, but it doesn't mean I cannot see how also problematic it is)

This got way out of hand, I am sorry. But I am angry that the discourse is always made by some into a fan war and popularity contest, when there is problematic systems lying beneath it all that does affect health of the skaters longterm.