#one of the. best songs to hav ever done it

[radioprune]

I mean just to be honest like. Can we. E honest

[kvtnisseverdeen]

This is my humble take…

Joe Alwyn was Taylor’s best boyfriend. She knows this and her fans know this. But he demands actual work and accountability. Taylor is a white rich conservative girl first and foremost. And she’s very narcissist. Joe is the first boyfriend of hers to put actually limits on how her public personal affects him and their relationship. And she liked dating him at first because he was private and reserved and she was desperately trying to scape the industry and she found the most non-industry British man ever. She liked that security and knowing he didn’t attract that much attention. Then, she slowly gained her reputation back on track and realized that she could finally go back to being the person that plays for the media again. And yes, maybe her relationship with Joe was slowly fading — it happens a lot. But she clearly says in her lyrics that wanting to be shown off in public is one of the reasons too. Because she likes that every relationship she’s in gets consumed by her fans and the media.

And Joe Alwyn required her to go and do some work on herself! He comes from a very activist family. He was the one that made her be more open about social activism. It was because of him that she tried to do the bare minimum like encouraging during elections, have more racially diverse people on her music videos and tours, and do a very cringey job at supporting lgbt rights. But it was at least something…

Isn’t funny that the moment they broke up she went back to being very problematic? The climate terrorist that she’s been for the pass year and then wanting to sue people for spreading her private flights information (knowing this is public information). Then dating that racist man that mocked woman of color and admitted to watch what he did, being quiet about the war that’s going on, and the lame and immature issue she created over some of Olivia Rodrigo’s songs (a literal new artist and teenager at the time) to the point she cut total ties with her and her next man being a very typical conservative macho man that seems to love the attention just like her. She’s back at being who she’s always been…

“Your integrity makes me feel small” Yes, Taylor, indeed. I am glad you know this too.

oh you absolutely have said it all. this is extremely well said and on point.

i find it so odd that most swifties can't pinpoint that the real issue between joe and taylor was taylor once again giving into the industry and being a rich white capitalist which is something joe is not and does not want to be, and most likely caused the demise of their relationship. taylor herself has said this in her songs (like the lyrics in peace, as you said). so yeah, maybe she wanted marriage but joe probably wasn't comfortable marrying someone who had completely different morals than him which is his right. let's be real here.

and oh the relationship between her and travis probably set her "redemption arc" far back than ever. she really was finally speaking up on so many matters and now she's dating a problematic trump supporter, giving into the media frenzy with the NFL, and has done no activism despite having the biggest platform. i think what sucked the most was her being times person of the year and using it to talk about travis and how she wasted 6 years of her life being private. so disappointing. and the cherry on top are some of the lyrics from ttpd (ex. 1830s racism lyric) like WHAT?

another thing swifties misinterpret is that no one would've known joe if it wasn't for taylor and that he's living off of his songwriting credits from folklore/evermore. joe who is notoriously low-key and has stated he just wants to be seen as human never used taylor for clout and has avoided saying her name in interviews, even after the break-up. not because he didn't love her, but because he did not want to feed into the media frenzy. and if all eyes are on him, he's using it to make a statement about palestine which is amazing. sure, you may not have known joe alwyn if it wasn't for taylor but he never used taylor's fame to make him more famous. and might i argue, it was taylor who despite releasing positive songs about him sometimes didn't defend him (like in the folklore sessions where jack antonoff was obviously being rude to him? or how she told her fans not to go after john mayor releasing speak now tv but didn't say anything for joe when her fans have been harassing him like crazy?)

on the other hand, we have travis kelce who has most definitely brought her up in every capacity like on his brothers podcast and let's be real, most of the swifties didn't know who travis was (i didn't!) unless they were football fans. we saw proof of that when NFL sales and viewership was significantly higher. so yes, travis is using her name for clout and feeding into the media frenzy. and then you have swifties saying he loves her and supports which yes, can be true, but you cannot deny that taylor and travis' relationship fed the media, fed the NFL, and diverted attention from more important issues like gaza. and while taylor and travis had their eyes on them, they didn't use it to do any good.

so yes, you are right. joe was taylor's best boyfriend.

[eclipsingmoons]

Hi there, this is my first post on this channel. It's a small comfort fiction about Overhaul I decided to write since there's truly not enough around. Excuse or correct some weird wording, I got all inspiration and motivation around midnight and wrote this for an hour.

I decided to make it a songfic using Invincible by Tool. I love (their) music and had to think of the character when listening to the song. I'll probably write some more in the future if I'm feeling up to it ^^

Feel free to leave comments, feedback and ideas in the comments or send it to me directly. I'd love to improve my writing :3

You can start reading here, I cropped it with the banner a little to make it look more organized. Much fun

Invincible

Long in tooth and soul

Longing for another win

Lurch into the fray

Weapon out and belly in

Visions haunted him again. Memories of a time not long past. He was running with Chronos- no, Hari and Eri in these ever changing, never ending hallways. The sound of battle, clashing blades and flowing fists rang in his ears. Never had he anticipated something like this to happen. Still, he tried his best to keep a calm mind and was rather successful surrounding that. After all, this was a scenario he had a plan for. A foolproof plan. Like any of his, of course. He won't go down without a fight, hells, he won't go down at all. Pathetic.

Warrior

Strugglin'

To remain

Consequential

Then, a lot happened at once. In one second, he was fighting that green kid, then Eri was away, in the arms of the kid with that Permeation Quirk. Was that even a kid anymore? His memories played tricks on him. Next thing that he sees is a white ceiling, the surrounding soundscape tells him he's in a car. Vision still blurry, he can only guess that there's heroes or doctors above his body. Why won't it move?

Bellow out loud

Bold and proud

Of where I've been

But here I am

The memory of Shigaraki replays. Slowly, his arm crumbles into dust. His mouth opens but there's no sound at all.

Beating chest and drums

Beating tired bones again

Age-old battle, mine

Weapon out and belly in

"Hey! Hey, wake up. Hello?" Right. It was all a dream. The kind that haunts you at night instead of processing the day. "You screamed, had a nightmare again? I'll get some water, wait here for a second"

Tales told of battles won

Of things we've done

Caligula would grin

He was breathing heavily, chest heaving and sinking in irregular patterns, his dry mouth trying desperate to catch some air to fill his lungs with. Beads of sweat were running down his back, his things, his forehead, his forearms. His....forearms.... Right. Even his own mind, his unconscious has to remind him of how far he's fallen.

Beating tired bones

Tripping through remember when

Once invincible

Now the armor's wearing thin

Heavy shield down

"I've got the water." You held still for a moment, staring at him. "You're hyperventilating again. Calm down please, let's do the breathing exercise again with me. You're safe now, it's okay." You put the glass down onto your nightstand.

"Breathe in."

"Hold 3 seconds."

"Breathe out."

"Breathe in."

"Hold 5 seconds."

"Breathe out."

"Breathe in."

"Hold it."

"And breathe out. Good job."

He did as told and after the final breath, he let his head fall back against the headboard.

Warrior

Strugglin'

To remain

Relevant

"It's okay now. Whatever it was, its over. It might come back some other time, but you made it through. Was it that day again?"

He slowly nodded. It hasn't been the first time that that particular nightmare, those particular memories made sleeping impossible. Those particular memories that remind him every time of his uselessness, his stupidity, his arrogance and loss.

Warrior

Strugglin'

To remain

Consequential

Was he really that blind? He should have seen it coming sooner. Should have paid more attention. Should have listened to his Father. Should have dealed with Eri differently. Should hav-

"You with me? Hello, Earth to Kai." You snapped with your fingers in front of his face to get the attention back on you. "Lost in thought again?" You knew the answer.

Cry aloud, bold and proud

O' where I've been

But here I am

Where I end

A first tear left one golden eye. A second followed. Without a single sound, as quiet as a grave, he started to cry. They made their path over his cheeks, down to his chin, over the small stubbles, down to the blanket.

Warrior

Strugglin'

To remain

Relevant

Only the rustling of the blankets and pillows was audible as you guided the man down to your lap, wrapped in your own blanket. Softly, his head rested on the sheets, eyes still staring into the void, never letting the flow of tears die out.

Warrior

Strugglin'

To remain

Consequential

Your hand moved slowly through the man's soft strands of hair, carefully scratching his scalp. In the past, this helped to soothe him a little. As soon as your fingertips met the skin of his scalp, his eyes relaxed and looked at your face. As if checking, that it's really you.

Tears in my eyes, chasing Ponce de Leon's phantom soul

Filled with hope, I can taste mythical fountains

False hope, perhaps

But the truth never got in my way

Before now, feel the sting, feeling time bearing down

It felt pathetic and nice at the same time. Never before was he treated like this. Noone dared to, else their existence would find a quick end. With you, it was different. Mostly, because he depended on you at first. Every action counted on your mercy and empathy for him, from eating to showering. It was as if a huge toddler lived with you. A huge toddler that committed countless atrocities. A huge toddler whose mind is in utter shambles. A huge toddler you...felt sorry for.

Tears in my eyes chasing Ponce de Leon's phantom soul

Filled with hope, I can taste mythical fountains

False hope, perhaps

But the truth never got in my way

Before now, feel the sting, feeling time bearing down

Why, for what possible reason, would you want to help him. Want to take care of him. That's what freaked him most at first. You weren't afraid of him, nor did you respect him like he was used to be respected. You saw neither a monster, nor a psychopath in him. Tartarus made him used to feel like an object. A mere nuisance. An existence, that isn't worth anyone's time or resources.

For the maybe second time in his life, he was seen as a person. Not as his villain alias or any other glorified title. Just as the man he was.

False hope perhaps

But the truth never got in my way

Before now, feel the sting, feeling time bearing down

Bearing down

"Thank you."

---------------------------------------------------

[Thank you for reading :3]

[unablethethird]

once again

Same with you skip the weird ones

1: Name Robert [rob]

2: Age 14

3: 3 Fears 1- Friends dying/getting hurt 2-Going back to the last place i lived 3-Not being able to help/be there

4: 3 things I love 1-My frens 2-Laptop 3-headphones

7: My best friend You and yaya [irl]

8: Sexual orientation AroAce [fictoromantic/fictosexual, and kinda orchidromantic]

10: How tall am I 166cm [for now]

11: What do I miss

cant think of anything rn

12: What time were I born 4am

13: Favorite color red, orange, purple, black

15: Favorite quote "Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night, light a man *on* fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

16: Favorite place Arcade

17: Favorite food Imjaderah [rice+yoghurt+beans]

18: Do I use sarcasm sometimes, not rlly tho

19: What am I listening to right now

20: First thing I notice in new person Not sure, maybe symptoms???? but not on purpose

21: Shoe size No idea

22: Eye color dark brown [almost black]

23: Hair color black

24: Favorite style of clothing 1920s men atire

25: Ever done a prank call? Not that i can remember

27: Meaning behind my URL I mean this is the 3rd acc

28: Favorite movie THE LORAX!!!!

29: Favorite song right now it's

30: Favorite band FamilyJules? LemonDemon? Will wood? Chonny jash?

31: How I feel right now My body's scared but im chilling

32: Someone I love You /p

33: My current relationship status AroAce, platonically married

34: My relationship with my parents lol

35: Favorite holiday Eid al adha, free money

36: Tattoos and piercing i have Ear

37: Tattoos and piercing i want Sleeve tattoo when i transition

38: The reason I joined Tumblr Needed to continue a fic/comic that was on tumblr

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? idk

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? thank you fren /gen

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? my dad? maybe when i was really young

42: When did I last hold hands? My little sister, i didnt want her to get run over when crossing the road

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? As long as i have, if u give me an hour i'll take an hour, if you give me 30 seconds i'll take 30 seconds

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope, i get gender dysphoria from shaving my legs/arms

45: Where am I right now? Bed

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Mum, not dad

49: Am I excited for anything? Turning 18 and going uni and being a human person with a human life

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Im an oversharer

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Im autistic so not in a deppressed way

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Cant remember

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? H [irl]

55: What is something I disliked about today? My sister stealing money from my mum, i was this close to having smoke outta my ears, she should know better

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? God, im going to beat the shit out of him

57: What do I think about most? Cringe memories i guess?

58: What’s my strangest talent? I can bird whistle

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Touch might be strange?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind fs

61: What was the last lie I told? "I don't know who they were talking about" [i didn't want to hurt her feelings]

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? voice, video is a nightmare

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yea because either i've seen them or im delusional [im delusional]. aliens are a given, even a bacteria could be one

64: Do I believe in magic? Kinda? idrk, maybe

65: Do I believe in luck? yea

66: What’s the weather like right now? cloudy n cold

67: What was the last book I’ve read? DnD rulebook

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? LVORE IT LOIF LVOE LOVE IT

69: Do I have any nicknames? I get called by my last name a lot

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? not sure

71: Do I spend money or save it? Save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Unfortunatly no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? My sisters deoderant

74: Favorite animal?

FOXES!!!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? calming myself down

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I dont think he has one, idk im not religious

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Corny/cringe as hell but Honeypie by JAWNY

78: How can you win my heart? havent thought about it

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

I TOLD YOU MY FOOT WAS KILLING ME

80: What is my favorite word? supercalifragilisticexpialadocious

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr Moots

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? your god is the right one [chaos]

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not currently, but my dad and some uncles were

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Time manipulation

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i dont think questions are scary

86: What is my current desktop picture? basic

90: Failed a class? classes

94: Had job? I have one now, dont always get paid though

95: Left the house without my wallet? Dont have a wallet

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no

98: Played on a sports team?

Unless school sport team counts

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

104: Been overweight? No

105: Been underweight? yea

106: Been to a wedding? ye

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Duh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? maybe i dont remember

109: Been outside my home country? Technically im from iran, and i live in australia, so, yeah

110: Gotten my heart broken? i guess

111: Been to a professional sports game? no

112: Broken a bone? no

113: Cut myself? yeah Im stopping though

114: Been to prom? we dont have that

115: Been in airplane?

Yeah

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? kinda

119: Learned another language? I know arabic and english

120: Wore make up? Forced to when i was younger but not anymore

123: Dyed my hair? Part of it purple, but its gone now

124: Voted in a presidential election? Cant vote, eitherway all of em suck

125: Rode in an ambulance? Yep

126: Had a surgery? not sure, memory bad

127: Met someone famous? Not that i know of

128: Stalked someone on a social network? mutuals tumblrs

129: Peed outside? Yea

130: Been fishing? nope

131: Helped with charity? yep

132: Been rejected by a crush? nope

133: Broken a mirror? Yep

134: What do I want for birthday? Wouldn't ever happen because it's expensive as fuck but a pump it up machine

i usually get a slice of cake tho

[scereplop]

portrait of a lady of fire (yay movies)

The reason why I decided to watch ‘The Portrait of a Lady on Fire’, or even found out about it in the first place, is because of a citation in the footnote of a fanfic. The movie had been rotting away in my ‘to watch’ tab group for months, and when I’d finally gotten around to actually give it a go, I wasn’t as interested in that particular fanfic as I was at first. I feel that a huge reason for this is that I actually quite dislike the very ship it is about, however I liked it a lot back then, and with every morsel I got I was bursting at the seams. It doesn’t change the fact that it is still fairly well written, but upon rereading it, the spark in me failed to burst into flames. I blame the characters, not the writer nor the idea. The important thing, however, was for me to be as impartial as possible when watching the movie (I can never be fully unbiased but I can try my best to. I’m also far from a trained film critic of any sort, so feel free to take any of this with a pinch of salt. But I’ll really try my best.) and so I didn’t read any reviews of any sort before watching the movie or writing this, and I had no clue what I was in for. I also had completely forgotten which scene from the movie that part of the fanfic had been based off of, so I really was going in helpless. And honestly, I was and am glad of it. It’s always best that way. (Warning: spoilers ahead)

Of course- the cinematography. I don’t think I have to say much because the gorgeous shots throughout the entire movie speak for themselves. I’m sure that there’s some deeper meaning to the placement of the characters in each frame and an art to the delicacy of the lighting that I am sorrowfully unfamiliar with, but to me it was simple, it was plain and there for me to see. And there was a charm to that simplicity. It felt like I was watching it through the eyes of the very characters in the movie. I was never bored, each pause was purposeful. It felt like life. It felt real. When I wake up on holiday, I have no backing track as I brush my teeth or walk along the seashore. I have no special effects or superhuman powers as I play in the sea. I have the the sounds and things I and the people around me make. The movie never really was silent, just like life never is. There was the sound of the sea cushioning sparse dialogue, and with the sparsity of dialogue I treasured every word, I mulled on them and I understood them like they were spoken to me. There’s always the risk of me getting incredibly bored when I watch these kinds of movies, but I am so glad that I wasn’t with this one. Not once.

Then there was the fire. There was the portrait itself on fire, there was her dress on fire, the very image of Héloïse that Marianne had remembered, and not just remembered but held so dear to hear that she had to see it again, had to paint out and stow away, there was the bonfire that boomed with song and the art done by candlelight. It felt like an ever pressing, omnipotent presence throughout the film, but despite its destructive nature, never once did it feel threatening. Just like fire, I don’t think it ever stood for a specific, concrete definition, never bloomed for specific purpose but served one nonetheless. A means of communication, of warning, of foreshadowing. To share a pipe, it must be lit first before two pairs of lips can touch the same mouthpiece. To see faces (or the lack of one) in the dark passion of night, we must play with fire to keep those impassioned stares held no matter the destruction it may bring. Because fire is bright and burns with a hope that demands attention, it was a perfect constant because it never felt constant- it grew, like their love with time, and longing too.

Even though I’m not a huge fan of the horror genre in films (mostly because most of the time all it composes of are jump scares and no substance that disconcerts me at my core), when included in subtle amounts in films that you’d think have no reason to have it really is the cherry on top. I don’t know if these scenes would even be considered horror per se, but it really did give me fucking chills because of how unexpected it was, even though I wasn’t scared out of my skin. The white garbed vision of Héloïse that appeared before Marianne twice in the film before the actual scene from which it was from (before she left for good), felt like some sort of warning. It always appeared right before a key moment between the two of them like some ghost of futures past and was genius. Whatever it was meant to do, I think it did perfectly.

______________________________________________________________

from here on out i kind of went a little mad and and completely ditched paragraphing and sentence structure and grammar laws and any sense at all. i don't know what happened because i wrote this like ages ago and left it to wither and die for some reason that has now escaped me, and i'm way too lazy to figure out what on earth i was trying to say. hopefully it makes sense for someone out there!

______________________________________________________________

their relationship. the secrets. the fights. the PIANO i mean harpsichord scene. the OTHER FIGHT. the whole dynamic in relation to the rest of the film. ever moving never stationary

THE STORY. the looks back. that was so genius and the new take on it n stuff DAWG

(i suspect i was talking about the story of Orpheus and Eurydice. i do remember that there were so many overlapping themes in the film itself, and every time i managed to pick the likeness of one of them out, it was so satisfying. and especially for this theme in particular. i had only vaguely heard of the myth before but after watching it i think that story has been seared into my mind for good. and i agree with past me- it was such a genius move to have the story be a reflection of their life. the shots of their last goodbye were STRAIGHT OUT OF THAT STORY. fight me. and the uncertainty of it all. LITERAL GOOSEBUMPS.)

the ending and teh conceert! is it a sad ending it s not happy but typica l sad ending - someone dies boo hoo but no theyre alive and they seem well but the thought of what couldnve been if if if

it just lies dormant and with these kinds of things you cant really forget (LIKE THE MOVIE NUOVO OLIMPO - where no one dies and theres no tragedy but instead this slow descent into, not madness, but like sadness and stuff and like you can do somethig but you cant at the same time and like UGUGUGUGUH)

[hurtramblings]

Let's Get Personal, Pt. III

· 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I have really tried not to, however there is one person I do hold a grudge with and that's because my wife left me for a complete clusterfuck of a delusional idiot and she had the nerve to rub it in my face when they were together only for her to be entirely wrong about the dumbfuck afterward. She's told me that he wasn't the one that broke she and I up and that our relationship was over well before then, I think she's lying but w/e.

· 52: What is your astrological sign? Gemini

· 53: Do you save money or spend it? I try as hard as possible to save it however I wind up spending it on something or an unforeseen purchase makes its presence known.

· 54: What’s the last thing you purchased? Food and I really need to cut that out.

· 55: Love or lust? It's always going to be love for me. I believe in the power that it has and the power it has to bring people together.

· 56: In a relationship? At the moment, no.

· 57: How many relationships have you had? One, I dated my ex-wife and she got pregnant and we got married and were together for almost twelve years when she decided that she no longer wanted to be with me.

· 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No, I cannot.

· 59: Where were you yesterday? Same place I am Monday to Friday, in my bedroom and from the hours of 9:30am and 6:00 pm I belong to an employer that I work for remotely.

· 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? My "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" Pink Ranger power morpher that is part of the Lightning Collection.

· 61: Are you wearing socks right now? I am not.

· 62: What’s your favorite animal? I have many but very partial to dogs.

· 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I don't think people need 'secret weapons' to get someone to like them. You either like the person or you don't and that becomes apparent during the first meeting.

· 64: Where is your best friend? I have one in Seattle and one in Florida.

· 65: Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr. 1.) @heavenly37 2.) @drawn2this 3.) @gentlemansssecrets 4.) @writing-prompt-s 5.) @elizabethxdanielle

· 66: What is your heritage? Irish, Italian, Polish, German, Native American, Mexican

· 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Wondering why I was awake.

· 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? This is a silly question.

· 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Many times, everyone has and anyone that says they haven't is lying.

· 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? From what I have been told about the kind of friend that I am, I think I would.

· 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? I'm saving the dog, I can always get another job.

· 72: You are at the doctor’s office, and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? A.) I would tell certain people. B.) I would quit my job and start giving away my valuable things to the people that I know would take care of them and I would live like every day was my last. C.) I have always been afraid of dying... But from what I have been told or what I have researched, I think I would only be afraid for a very short time.

· 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Love, trust is important but I would rather have and experience love.

· 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Pass.

· 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 9344

· 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Communication, Connection, Commitment.

· 77: How can I win your heart? Pass.

· 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? I believe it could... But I have never experienced insanity.

· 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? When I make it, I will update this questionnaire.

· 80: What size shoes do you wear? 13 or 14 depending on the shoe.

· 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Pass.

· 82: What is your favorite word? Pass.

· 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Strength.

· 84: What is a saying you say a lot? Dude

· 85: What’s the last song you listened to? Theme song for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

· 86: Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Purple/Black Red/Black

· 87: What is your current desktop picture? LCARS display for the 1701-F.

· 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? The boy that my ex left me for.

· 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? I have nothing to hide from anyone, I have nothing that I would be afraid to tell the truth on.

· 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Find the quickest way out of the bedroom.

· 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Super speed or Super strength.

· 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? The birth of my son.

· 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? My father's death.

· 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? My crush since age 15, Jeri Ryan?

· 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Nashville, Tennessee?

· 96: Do you have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of.

· 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? When I was a kid.

· 98: Ever been on a plane? Of course.

· 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Pass.

[cookiecrim]

Title: Poor Little Dolly

Started: 31/07/22 at 14:00pm

Finished: 31/07/22 at 15:10 pm

Ship: Asmodeus x MC!Jade

Other Characters: N/A

Song Inspiration/Other Inspiration: N/A

Trigger Warnings: N/A

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 774

Summary: Asmo drags Jade out to help him pick out stuff for his room, but it's a very hot day in the Devildom. If it's too hot for a demon then itmust be unbearable for a human...especially one with issues with the heat.

Notes: This is based off my personal issue with fainting, it commonly happens and I kinda write this for comfort. Might do more of these with my other f/o's but for now, here's Asmo! Also this is the first thing I've managed to write in a while, so sorry if it's not the best!

Poor Little Dolly ~ Asmo x Jade

Why had they decided to agree to this?

With every second that went by in this unbearable heat,Jade was regretting ever agreeing to help Asmo with picking out items for his room that he was apparently thinking about renovating.

By "help" all he'd really meant was to have the human tag along and pretty much confirm his own opinions on what would look good in his room, as if they knew as much about fashionable decor like he did.

The more Jade had to follow along behind the demon though, the more the heat was getting to them.

It wasn't a good thing, but none of the brothers knew about their "issue" and they'd sort of like to keep it that way…

 

"Hey um…are we nearly done with this, Asmo?"

 "Oh? Is my little doll getting impatient now?"

 

Jade flushed, but wasn't going to allow the lustful demon to have the satisfaction of knowing his teasing got to them so they looked at the ground instead.

 

"I-It's just kind of hot is all… "

Asmo chuckled "A few more minutes, hon. Be patient!"

Even though a few minutes wouldn't sound long to most, Jade knew that the time length varied when it came to Asmo, so they could be waiting a while for him.

With this heat though, Jade was beginning to feel light headed…it was much hotter today than it usually was in the Devildom and with their issue…they didn't think they'd last much longer…

Not now though…anything but now…

They really didn't want anyone knowing…especially Asmo. 

It was more the fear that they'd be seen as more fragile than they already were by the brothers…and that just felt embarrassing in a way.

 

"What do you think of…are you alright, doll?"

 Jade managed to look back up to see Asmo looking kind of concerned and simply nodded.

 

"Are you sure? You look kind of pa-"

Jade didn't hear the rest of what he said because it was at this moment that they couldn't take it and…

They blacked out.

Asmo managed to catch the human before they could hit the ground.

They seemed fine, other than being both pale and unconscious that is. Was it perhaps the heat that had caused them to faint? 

"My poor little doll. Let's get you back to House of Lamenation"

Taking them into his arms bridal style, Asmo carried the human back to the HOL dorm.

—

When Jade came back into consciousness, firstly they felt really embarrassed upon realising that they had passed out in front of Asmo.

But that feeling was replaced when they came to the realisation that they weren't in their own room but rather…someone else's room.

Judging by the style and decor of the room it could only belong to one person…

 

"Seems like you finally decided to wake up, doll!"

Jade looked to see Asmo sitting at the edge of the bed and immediately felt more embarrassed than before.

 

"Are you feeling alright?"

 "Yeah…I'm fine" 

 "Let me help you sit up then"

The human began feeling flustered once again as they felt Asmo wrap his arms around them and gently helped them into a sitting up position. 

 

"I'm fine, really…this isn't the first time this happened"

 " Hm? How come? "

Jade looked away "N-Nothing…forget I said anything"

Asmo placed his finger under the human's chin and made them look up at him "Jade, talk to me"

Jade let out a sigh, feeling overpowered by the look in his eyes "It's nothing much…I just have an issue with fainting often. Usually if I'm too hot or haven't eaten or even if I feel overwhelmed…"

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have dragged you out today if I'd known"

"I-It's embarrassing. I don't want you or your brothers to worry about me or treat me like I'm delicate glass or something"

Wrapping his arms around them, Asmo pulled them in close to him "Darling, that's nothing to be embarrassed of. It's not your fault and you shouldn't feel ashamed about it, okay?"

Jade simply nodded, feeling comforted being in the demon's embrace. 

"I'll bring it up with my brothers, but don't you worry, Asmo will make sure no one treats you differently. Promise!"

The human smiled "T-Thank you. I'm sorry you had to see that though…"

"Don't you apologise, hon! I'm sorry that I wasn't paying enough attention to you! "

"It's okay, you didn't know"

Asmo placed a gentle kiss on the top of their head and caressed their cheek, bringing their gaze back to his.

"I'll take better care of you from now on, my little doll, I won't let this happen again~"

[hellurdur]

140 questions😋

Pick a question and I'll answer🤗

Then I'll pick and you'll answer

#till we're tired#😋

1.scars?

2.crush?

3.fears?

4.someone you would die for?

5. someone you hate?

6.someone you can tell anything to?

7. have you ever smoked?

8. have you ever drunk alcohol?

9. have you ever done 'bad' drugs?

10. last time you cried?

11.bestfriends?

12.favourite colour?

13. lucky number?

14. birthday?

15. bi/straight/gay?

16. eye colour?

17. hair colour?

18. best body part?

19. obsession?

20. if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

21. male or female?

22. kiss or hug?

23. nicknames people call you?

24. favourite song?

25. favourite thing?

26. worst thing that ever happened too you?

27. best thing that ever happened too you?

28. something you would change about yourself?

29. full name?

30. worst mistake?

31. something your proud of?

32. your dream?

33. watch the movie or read the book?

34. ever tried to kill yourself?

35. favourite TV show?

36. ever self harmed?

37. ever caught a virus, disease or sickness?

38. special talents?

39. do you ever wish you could start over?

40. ever been abused?

41. abused anyone?

42. ever had a near death experience?

43. someone you can't tell anything too?

44. Virgin?

45. Any tattoos?

46. Are u single or taken?

47. someone who knows all your secrets?

48. someone who's secrets you know?

49.single or taken?

50.middle name?

51.last kiss?

52girl bestfriend?

53boy bestfriend?

54favourite song?

55 ever cheated on ur bae /boo b4

56 u wish to fuck me someday?

57 first kiss?

58 play any sports?

59 one secret?

60 who do you hate?

61 longest relationship?

62 who do you like?

63 what do you like in a boy?

64 what do you like in a girl ?

65 what's favourite number/colour?

66 what area do you live?

67 age?

68 Hobbies?

69 one thing you can't live without?

70 ever had sex?

71 Are you naughty?

72 Ever exchanged nudes?

73 Favorite body part of your opposite gender?

74 ever maked out?

75 Wanna explore me?

76 Wanna kiss me?

77 Wanna date me?.

78 your bra size

79 do u wear bra

80 can u let me touch u

81 hug me

82 favorite sex position

83 have a guy have kissed u

84 hav some1 evr seen ur boobs or dick

85 favorite cloth

86 ever feel like hvn sex

87 will u like to sex me

88 best hubby

89 can u let me suck u

90 favorite annual

91 What do you wish to do now if I were there?

92 What are u wearing now?

93. What's ur plan for the day?

94. When last did you play naughty with a guy in real life and flirt?

95 What do u think of when u masturbate OR touche urself sexually?

96 Show me outline of ur boobs/dick thru ur cloth

97 What do u like doing during romance?

98 Dine annal before?

99 see us together in nearest future or whiling away time?

100 When last did you have sex

101 what do you love the most on ur body

102 Glad we are friends or feel like punching mt face most times?

103 What you enjoy most during sex

104 How many are you in your family?

105 What comes to ur mind when you think of me or hear my name mentioned?

106 What's the colour of ur pantie and bra Now, and what type are u wearing?

107 Do you believe in God?

108 Like ur natch shaven or hairy?

109 How u like your man/woman to dress

110 What you like and love most abt me?

111 Would you go to swimming with me?

112 Your worst regret about me?

113 Your most erotic and naughty thoughts about us, in the past or now.

114 Would you love a massage by my own hands?

115 Can you suck me?

116 What's your biggest fear about me?

117 Who do you love most in your life?

118 Will you like to be mine if given the opportunity?

119 What's your best meal?

120 What would you do if we are cuddled at night and I am getting aroused, and rain is falling?

121 Do you love me?

121 what your best fruit?

122 Any great plan for the future?

123 Your best ally in decision taking

124 Your first kiss, where and with whom?

125 What am I to you?

126 Who am I to you?

127 What type of movie do u like watching?

128 Who made you smile most today?

129 What lead to your break up in your last relationship, and do you have any person in mind under consideration?

130 When last did you pray?

131. Who is your worst enemy in life?

132 What do you hate most about me?

133. Who am I to you?

134. What's the colour of ur pantie/boxershorts now?

135. Can you kiss me if I were with u alone now?

136 . What's ur plan in life?

137. Can you marry me if I am ready now?

138. When last did u speak with your mother or father?

139. Do u have a serious relationship or lover?

140. Do you love me? 🤗😘😍💯

[flowersbby]

Nobody Compares | Corpse Husband x Reader

Request:  “Hi babe! May i request for an imagine/one shot where Corpse and fem reader used to be together and broke up due to lack of time for each other... then after a year they re-connected and reader was surprise bec Corpse still hasn’t forget the things she likes/loves? And they got back together eventually lol”

a/n: My first request! I’m excited :D

Warnings: Angst, awkwardness

You were nervous. You had agreed to go to game night with Rae at Corpse’s and as the time got closer and closer to the event you felt more and more anxious. Your eyes scanned your closet as you tried to piece different articles of clothing together in your head to wear to the small party. You wanted to look good for him, even though you guys broke up a year ago. Your mind started wandering to that night.

“Baby...” Corpse muttered to you as you were packing up your stuff. “Please, stay. We can fix this just please don’t leave. We can make time for each other, I’ll clear my schedule, I’ll do anything just please don’t leave me..”

You were trying to contain your sobs as tears ran down your cheek. You didn’t want to leave, but you hardly had time for each other anymore. It was hurting both of you and it was causing you two to fight an unhealthy amount. “I need to.” You told him as you trudged towards the bathroom to get your stuff. “I hardly see you anymore! And when I do you’re always in a bad mood! What’s the point in staying?” You shouted from the room’s bathroom, wiping tears from your face as you got all your bathroom necessities. When you returned from the room, Corpse was pulling your clothes out of your suitcase and putting them back in their original spot in the closet. “What are you doing?!”

Corpse sniffled. He was crying. He didn’t look at you. He couldn’t. “You’re my everything!” He shouted and stopped moving your clothes from the suitcase. “What am I supposed to do without you?!” He looked up at you. His eyes were filled with tears. This was the most you’ve seen him cry.

You started crying more from the sight and shook your head. Grabbing your clothes again and throwing them in the suitcase, not caring if they weren’t folded. You just couldn’t be in this apartment anymore. You zipped up the suitcase and fast walked to the door. Corpse grabbed your wrist. “(y/n), please..” 

“No.” You said simply and shook his hand off your wrist, opening the door and slamming it behind you. You heard a loud bang from the apartment as you left followed by Corpse screaming out of heartbreak.

You regretted it. You missed him more than you could put into words. You were also surprised since Corpse was okay with you coming. Rae was excited, though. She wanted you and Corpse to get back together. You wouldn’t mind it either, you just didn’t know if Corpse felt the same. You tried moving on but you couldn’t. Nobody else could compare to him.

You decided to wear a black dress paired with your favorite black and gold heels, putting on a gold necklace to go with your shoes. You did your makeup and as soon as you got the text from Rae that she was there to pick you up, you left for the party.

                                                          ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You guys finally made it to the party. You and Rae were laughing about a joke she said as you made your way up his apartment stairs. When you guys finally reached his door, a wave of nervousness washed over you. Rae knocked.

The door opened, revealing Corpse. He had his black mask on but his eyes were only on you. “Hey..” He said. You looked up him.

“Hi.” You said and waved your hand a little. He greeted Rae as well and stepped aside to let you guys in.

Everyone was already there. You saw Sykkuno, Lily, and Toast. “Hey guys!” Rae said excitedly and went over to hug them. Corpse was standing next to you. You guys both wanted to say something to each other but didn’t know exactly what to say.

Your throat was getting dry from nervousness. “Do you have anything to drink?” You turned to him and asked him. “I’m a little thirsty.”

“Uh,” He stuttered, “Y-yeah, yeah.. let me get you something.” He turned towards the kitchen to grab you something to drink. You decided to go talk with the group while you waited.

“Hey, (y/n)!” Said Lily as she hugged you. “Gosh, it’s been ages!”

You laughed. “Yeah, I know!” and pull away from the hug. “I’ve missed you guys!”

“We’ve missed you two!” Said Sykkuno, “Ever since you stopped playing with us last year it hasn’t been the same.”

You smiled sadly. You stopped playing with the group after you and Corpse’s breakup. You figured it would be best to separate yourself from them since you only knew them because of Corpse. They were his friends. You only kept in contact with Rae because she always texted you.

You felt something cold tap your arm and saw Corpse handing you some (f/d). “My favorite!” You said excitedly and quickly opened it.

He just smiled at you. You couldn’t see it because of his mask, but the way his eyes squinted you could tell he was smiling. You smiled back at him. His heart fluttered seeing your smile he hasn’t seen in almost a year. He realized how much he missed you.

“Do you guys wanna play twister?” Lily asked, bringing up a game suggestion.

You didn’t answer. You didn’t want to flat out tell her no but you didn’t say yes either. Twister was your least favorite party game. It made you really anxious. “(Y/n) gets anxious during twister,” Corpse told Lily, “Can we play something else?”

“Oh, Of course!” Lily said. She then proceeded to list off more games to play. You weren’t listening. Your mind was stuck on how Corpse remembered what you like and don’t like after all this time.

                                                         ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

It was 11:00 PM and everyone had already left. You were just waiting for Rae to get done in the bathroom since she was your ride. You and Corpse were standing in front of each other in awkward silence by the door.

“How-”

“What hav-”

You and Corpse talked at the same time. You guys laughed and you gave Corpse the signal to go ahead.

“How have you been?” He asked you.

“I’ve been okay,” You said, “You?”

“I haven’t been that good.” He said and proceeded to scratch his neck. “I made a song about you.” He chuckled like he was embarrassed about it. You knew about it. You listened to it. A lot.

“Yeah I listened to it.” You told him. “LARain?” You asked to make sure that was the song.

“Yeah.” He said. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” You missed him probably more than he missed you.

“Would you want to go somewhere sometime?” He asked. “Like the beach or something? I remember you used to love the beach when we were together but I don’t know if you still like it..” You smiled once again at how much he remembers about you.

“I still love it.” You told him. “I’d love to go with you. I have the same number so just text me the times and stuff.”

“Okay~!” Rae sang as she walked towards you guys. “You ready to go, (y/n)?” You nodded at her. “Thanks for having us Corpse!” She told him as she opened the door and walked out.

“No problem.” He said.

You turned around to look at Corpse as you were leaving. “Text me.” You told him and shut the door behind you.

As you were walking with Rae to her car you heard your phone ding. You smiled as you saw who it was.

Corpse: how does friday sound?

[okskz]

Mistake.

Mia + Stray Kids

during their kingdom performance, mia ends up making one mistake towards the end which causes her to be upset.

hope you guys enjoy! please feel free to leave some feedback because it is always appreciated!

[9th Member of Stray Kids]

Mia sat patiently in the chair, getting her makeup done. She was getting a few more touches done on her face, the makeup artist adding some shimmer on the side of her face and neck. As well as adding some sparkle in her hair. Mia felt like she was shining, and them wearing all white made the look even better.

“You look like a disco ball.”

Mia glared at Changbin through the mirror. “Be nice to me.”

“Eh, not fun.”

The girl shook her head, letting out a small snort before she got told that they were done with her makeup. She quickly jumped out of her seat, but had slipped back on the chair. “Woah. These shoes are kinda slippery.” She looked down at the white combat boots she had on and began sliding them on the floor. They were indeed slippery, but Mia paid no mind to it.

She looked at herself one more time in the mirror, her outfit looked great, and her hair had faded out from the pink she had so now she had some blond streaks at the bottom, which she had really liked. And it was pulled back on top, braided. Mia wasn’t a big fan of having her hair in her face because it got in the way of performing sometimes. So she was glad the hairstylist decided to pull it back for her.

“How do I look?” She twirled around when approaching the boys, seeing they were done getting ready.

“Ugly, hideous, I hate you, none of the above.” Minho joked. “Just kidding, you look great. Stunning even, the most beautiful girl in the world, so pretty, Mia.”

Mia rolled her eyes. “Thanks, you’re so kind.” She said, with a hand on her hip.

“Starting making your way to the stage.” Their manager had said to them, making everyone get up from their seats.

Mia began feeling a little jumpy, standing next to the stage. Out of all the performances she’s ever done, the Kingdom performances made her feel more pressure. Mainly because so much was added to them, from props, to having backup dancers, and making sure everything turns out good. Especially since this was basically a competition, not just performing for fun. Although she did hav me fun performing, Mia knew she had to be extra cautious on not making any mistakes. Which has always been not hard to do for her.

“Nervous?” Changbin questioned her.

“A little.” She whispered. “But also super stoked. This might be one of our best performances.”

What could go wrong?

Mia had lots of adrenaline going on throughout the performance, everything was going great. They were close to finishing and Mia was the one that was going to end it with the last verse. She knew she had to finish strong.

Everything was happening so fast when the backup dancers had lifted Mia up and she had to jump down.

But when she did, Mia ended up accidentally slipping. With her shoes and floor being a bit slippery, it wasn’t a good mix which ended up making her fall back.

Thankfully the two backup dancers that were behind Mia caught what had happened and were quick to pick her back up on her feet to pull off the mistake she did. Mia felt her heart racing now, but still manged finish off the song. Except her mind was now on the mistake she had made, and only hoped it wasn’t affecting how she was performing.

They were at their ending pose, and Mia could already feel the embarrassment go through her if someone had caught her mistake. She was also going to feel bad if this mistake was going to cause their rank to go down. She swallowed hard, feeling her anxiety kick in.

And once they got the okay to leave the stage, Mia was the first to get out. “Mia.” Chan called out. He had noticed her mistake and knew she wasn’t taking it so good. Mia only ignored him, looking straight as she could feel herself slowly breaking. Tears making her vision blurry.

“Noona, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” She said, trembling.

“She made a mistake while performing.” Chan whispered to the group, low enough for Mia to not hear. “At the very end.”

“I didn’t even notice.” Jisung whispered back. He felt bad now for Mia. He knew how much Mia hated making mistakes in anything.

“Mia.” Changbin jogged up to the girl, softly grabbing her wrist to turn her around. The group finally catching up to her. “Hey, it’s okay-“

“No, it’s not.” She softly cried. “I should’ve been more careful.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, accidents happen.” Seungmin patted her back.

But as stubborn as Mia was, she wasn’t listening to them. The more she thought about her mistake, the more upset she was becoming. Mia took Changbin’s hand away from her wrist and darted away from the group, then quickly following right after.

“Mia!” Chan called out again, but the girl was quick to enter the restroom, causing all of the boys to halt. “She’s really upset.” He sighed.

“It wasn’t even that noticeable was it?” Jeongin questioned. “I didn’t even see it.”

“The two dancers behind her were quick to pick her back up to play it safe.” Chan informed. “But, we should all know her by now. She can be a perfectionist, and this was her very first mistake.”

“She’s going to be in there for awhile then, there’s no trying to talk to her right now.” Jisung sighed. “She’ll only ignore us.”

“Um, excuse me?” A voice said beside the group. “Can I please pass through to use the restroom.”

The group turned to face the direction of where the voice came from. “Oh! Elena!” Jisung exclaimed.

“Hi guys.” She bowed. “Everything okay?” Elena had questioned when seeing the groups’ facial expressions. All looking a bit upset.

“It’s Mia.” Jisung replied. “She doesn’t want to come out of the restroom because she’s upset of her one mistake she did while performing.”

“Oh, I see.”

That was when Chan had came up with an idea now that Elena had showed up. “You’ve met Mia before already, you think you could go in there and talk to her?” Chan suggested. “She probably won’t listen to us when talking to her, but she might listen to you.”

“Please, Elena.” Jisung said after.

“I’ll try my best.” The girl smiled at the group, heading towards the restroom.

Mia was sat against the wall, hugging her legs as tears continued to flow down her face. She felt like she was overreacting, it was only one mistake, not the end of the world. But the more she thought about it, the more she kept feeling worse about it.

When Elena had opened up the door, Mia didn’t dare to look up until she heard her name being called. “Mia?”

“Yes?” She sniffled, when looking up. She felt a relief when seeing it was Elena. They may have only met once but it felt nice seeing her again.

“You okay? Your members told me what happened.” The girl took a seat next to Mia.

“Not really.” Mia wiped her tears away. “It’s just, I feel a bit embarrassed and honestly not good about myself. I should have been more careful when jumping down.”

“If I’ll be honest, I didn’t even notice anything, when did it even happen?”

“Towards the end, when I had to jump down.” Mia answered. “I fell back on my bottom, but I got picked up quick.”

“Ah, see if you would have never said that, I wouldn’t have known.” Elena slightly chuckled, making Mia smile just a bit.

Elena was quick to notice Mia’s small smile which caused her to do the same. She then slightly tapped Mia with her elbow. “Your members probably told you this, but don’t beat yourself up. Especially if the mistake was quickly recovered.”

“I know.” Mia sighed. “I guess it’s hit me a little hard because this is the very first mistake I’ve ever done while performing. I’m always careful.”

“And making mistakes is definitely okay. We’re not perfect, Mia, and accidents do happen, and don’t forget yours was recovered quickly, just gotta make it work.” She reassured her. “Plus what idol hasn’t done mistakes while performing? Your members have, haven’t they?”

“Yeah.” Mia said in a low voice.

“And who knows, maybe you’ll back at this and just laugh about it.”

Mia took in Elena’s words and she was definitely right. Her words made Mia not feel too bad about the mistake happening. “Thanks for this. It definitely helped, Elena.” Mia said, standing on her feet. She put a hand out to help Elena up as well.

“Not a problem at all, glad I could help a little.”

“If you ever need anything, I got you as well.” Mia smiled. And who knows, maybe after Kingdom ends, Mia would end up having another great friend.

Elena had stayed back in the restroom while Mia walked out, feeling a lot better than before. She was met with all her members right outside, everyone staring at her. “I’m okay, now.” She said softly.

Chan broke into a grin and went in to crush Mia with a tight hug. Jeongin had came up from behind her. “That’s great to hear.” Chan patted her head.

———————————————————————————

elena belongs to @ateez-elena! please check out their blog :) hopefully we can continue collabing in the future!

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars • 06

Pairings: Sirius Black x [F]Reader, Remus Lupin x [F]Reader Content: Language, possible errors, music snob!Remus,  Author’s notes: song used: Come Together by The Beatles

BTW: I always try to use little to no physical descriptions for the reader insert but I did add that the reader has some sort of hair. I didn't mention hair texture or length (Sorry if ur bald). My taller readers, I only mentioned that you were shorter than Remus (no height was given)

Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 6: ABBA vs. The Beatles 

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

“Merlin’s beard! Binns is a sadist; torturing students must be his only pastime,” James yawned, taking his glasses off to rub his eyes.

Nothing could ever compare to the History of Magic. Today, lessons were dreadful and muddy. Professor Binns’ monotone voice filtered throughout the class, rambling on and on about various dates in history. Hardly anyone paid attention before he started calling on students. Annoyed, Binns would continue to reiterate his inquiry until the student(s) got the correct answer, no matter how long it took.

A sadist indeed.

Although Binns wasn’t the sole reason why the class was pathetic, but rather the lack of any practical work was simply a joke. The class only reminded Y/N of her short time in public school. Geometry? Utterly useless for any daily life interactions. To make matters worse, Binns surprised the class with a pop-quiz and two chapters of reading. Luckily, he had an ounce of mercy in his ghostly body and dismissed the class early for lunch.

James continued, “I would rather fight a dragon than — Woah! Your hair! “

She glanced to look at herself through the reflection in James’ glasses. Her hair, which originally was emerald green, was now turning into a golden yellow. The different colours clashed together boldly.

“You look like the banner for the Holyhead Harpies,” Peter said, striding up to James’ side.

“The Holyhead Harpies,” James said dreamily, “They’re probably one of my favourite teams.

Remus, who had been trailing behind Peter jumps in, “You only like them because they’re all women, you wanker.” He turns to Peter, his hand shooting up to the side of his head, massaging small circles into his temples, “Why’d you get him going?”

James became insufferable whenever someone or something mentioned Quidditch. Not only would he boast about his abilities as a Chaser, but he seemingly was a never-ending encyclopedia about Quidditch. It only worsened as November neared, the start of the new Quidditch season was approaching.

One time Y/N found herself stuck listening to him babble about Ireland winning the world cup for about thirty minutes. She didn’t have the heart to stop him, though. Nobody listened to his rants and he could hardly contain his excitement. How could she tell him she wasn’t interested?    

A monstrous smirk etched its way onto his face, “Caught me.”

“Be anymore of a predator would ya, Prongs?”

“Hey! That’s not the only reason why I like them. Did you forget their victory in 1953 against the Heidelberg Harriers? Their strategy was blood-fucking-brilliant. They’re legendary! My father was there to see it in person. Lucky bastard. He told me…”

His voice fades into the background as Y/N catches Remus’ eyes. A glint of mischief shined through them before he forced a fake pitiful smile. He mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ to her before looping his arm around Peter’s shoulder, discreetly leaving James’ side and out of the classroom.

That sly, slippery bastard.  

"— and did I mention that their seeker was one of the most sought out —”

“Wait, James.”

He abruptly pauses, waiting patiently for her to continue. She leads them out into the corridor and towards the great hall. “Sorry, didn’t mean to cut you off like that, but when is my hair going back to normal?”

Y/N instantly regretted mentioning her hair. There was no trace of a smile on James. His shoulders slumped a bit and his walking even staggered. “Godric, I know, I know and I’m sorry. I thought it would have returned back to normal by now. I’ve been creating reversal spells — even started asking Moony to help.”

“Moony?”

“Remus.”

“Another one of your nicknames?”

“It’s not a nickname! It’s a brotherhood — a pack!”

“Oh, sorry Prongs,” she drawled, a sarcastic smile on her face, “If I didn’t know you I would assume you were an asshole.”

“What? How?!”

“You go around calling yourself a marauder, the king of Quidditch and now Prongs. Seems pretty assholely.”

James’ mouth opens before closing again, repeating the process several times.

“Plus, you pull silly pranks every day.”

He chuckles, “Oi! You helped us with that itching idea!”

Her eyebrows raised in acknowledgement, “Touché.”

To this, James shakes his head, directing the conversation back to the Holyhead Harpies. Inwardly, Y/N wanted to whack him with a broomstick.

They were among the first students to reach the Great Hall, aside from students who had a free or were excused early by Professor Binns. None of the girls were there yet. Unfortunately, Marlene was held back by Binns, so Y/N was left to sit beside James who sat opposite to Remus, Peter and Sirius.

She had been trying her best to avoid Sirius whenever she could. It was clear he didn’t like her. He never laughed whenever she made a joke, he hardly noticed her, he never praised her, even if she tried to compliment him. He was just rude for no apparent reason. The rest of the marauders and girls knew this, although they preferred not to comment about the obvious, strained relationship (which they didn’t even know the reason for. Granted, Y/N wasn't quite sure herself. Was it the rejection, he just didn't like her or is just an ass?).

Although, ignoring and avoiding him proved to be extremely challenging. Y/N was glued to Lily’s hip ever since the Sorting Ceremony. It also didn’t help that if you were with one marauder, another one was sure to follow. She and James started to spend more time with each other, and by extension, she was obligated to be around at least one other marauder. With the addition of study sessions with Remus, it was inevitable.

Surprisingly, Sirius hadn’t made any snarky remarks, excluding dirty looks, he was being… nice — nicer to her. The action was a stark contrast from his previous behaviour and she speculated a few reasons why:

Most likely, James or Lily, she assumed the former, said something to him. Since his little spat with James at breakfast a few weeks ago, Sirius was tight-lipped ever since.

Maybe he was done being a prick, deciding to stop by himself after realizing he was a prick.

Went through something personal, it stopped, and his behaviour improved.

Minutes after the bell rang, students began to trickle in for lunch. The comfortable chatter rose as Y/N finished eating an apple. Everyone seemed pleased when James’ Quidditch lecture was interrupted as hundreds of owls streamed in, packages and letters dropping into the laps of students. She hadn’t expected anything considering her owl, Celeste, didn’t drop anything off since the first week of October. However, today she fluttered down between the bread and fruit bowls, dropping off several letters and a small parcel onto Y/N’s plate, pecking at the bread crumbs on the table. She tore the letter open, inside it said:

Dear Y/N,  

Are you still having a hard time with Charms? If so, perhaps I find some textbooks and send them over.  

Don’t slack off this year. Send me a letter whenever you have the chance. (Make sure to tell Celeste to be quieter next time. You know I can, and never will get used to the owls.)  

Mom  

Her mother finally wrote to her. A sense of joy flooded her body as she placed the letter back down on the oak table. A part of her wondered if Celeste was dropping off her letters to the wrong house, the one back in Toronto as her mother never wrote back. She opened the next letter, immediately recognizing the messy scrawl:

October 19, 1975  

Y/N! I thought you replaced me with one of your brits, but a false alarm, your letters just take a while to arrive. Must be tiring for Celeste to travel to and from Scotland then America and back. You know, whenever people see her fly in, they still recognize her.  

Are you doing anything for Halloween? We’re throwing another dance. Going to be alone this year now that I can’t force you to come. I guess I’ll just watch half the school dry hump each other while I smuggle in firewhiskey.

How’s it going over there? I heard from a few students, even read in the papers about the war. It’s getting pretty crazy over here. Teachers have been meeting and trying to prevent students and parents from losing their shit. My mom has been worried too, writing to me like a lunatic and I’m not even in the UK. The MACUSA have been keeping quiet but they were caught having meetings with counsellors from the Ministry of Magic. Even heard that Jenkins is stepping down. If it keeps getting out of hand here, I can’t imagine what it must be like at Hogwarts. I truly thought the war was dying down, I was wrong. Keep your wand close. Surely, you’ll get away with a hex or two.

Until next time

Matthew G.  

So engrossed in her new environment, her old life slipped to the back of her mind. There was a detachment from her reality compared to the one at home. A pang of guilt hit her, swallowing her up from the inside out until another pang hit, loneliness. If she easily forgot everyone, would anyone remember her? None of her old friends, apart from Matthew, had made a move to contact her since she left.

Often thinking about writing them first, she had to remind herself if they wanted to, they would. Especially with the knowledge that people still recognized Celeste.

Was she forgettable and if so, was it karma for forgetting too?

It put a mechanical vice grip on her heart, applying just enough pressure to be a constant reminder. With every beat, it tightened more and more.

Looking around the table, she saw her peers huddle in groups, familiar laughter ringing throughout. So noisy, so taunting. She may have been friends with Lily, Dorcas, James or even Marlene, but they had their own friends. Friendships that had years to develop before she came. She had only known them for less than two months.

Forgettable.

How hilarious, she thought.

“Hey,” a gentle voice cooed into her ear, “Are you okay?”

She hummed back absentmindedly.

James wore a concerned expression, his eyes knitted together, one raised higher than the other like it always does when he was worried. The look he shot her suggested he wasn’t convinced, although he didn’t press; instead opting to stir the conversation. “So, who wrote to you?”

“A friend and my mom —”

A snort so loud that it caused the rest of the marauders, random onlookers and even Lily (who had a look of pure disgust on her face) turned towards them. “What did you say?”

“I got a few letters?”

“No!” He bellowed, “Who sent you them?”

“My friend and my mom —”

Nearly choking on his sandwich, James clutched his stomach laughing. Laughing so hard he has to grip the table to prevent falling off the hall bench. "Haha! Mom?! MOM?” He mocked in a poor American accent, “What the fuck is mom? It’s MUM. Bollocks!”

“We say vitamin.”

“It’s VIT-A-MIN! Who says VIGHT-A-MIN?” Without a pause, James presses his entire body onto her shoulder, smushing her before grabbing the letter her mother sent her. His eyes scanned across the pages before hitting a certain word. “Back home? Maple trees? Where did you use to live exactly?”

“Canada.”

“Canada?! You don’t mean those snowy gits?” At this, Peter and Remus snort under their breaths. Even Lily had to force down a smile.

Staring deadpanned at him, in an unamused voice, “Really?”

“You are a bundle of surprises! I thought you lived… I’m not sure. I assumed somewhere like New Hork.”

“York,” Lily corrects.

“Tomato, tomato,” he jokes, playfully batting his eyes at Lily before biting into his sandwich, “You do live in London, right?”

“Right.”

James takes a moment, letting the conversation die down before he quickly glances at Y/N again. An undecipherable expression crosses his face before it’s promptly replaced with elation, “I take back anything negative I’ve said about Canada. They have an amazing Quidditch rooster. Have you gone to any of their games?”

A low grumble of sighs follows at the mention of Quidditch from James. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Remus shake his head and sighed dejectedly.

“Nah, I’m a New-Maj, remember? My mom — “

“Mum —”

“ — sorry, Mum — hardly understands the wizarding world, let alone what Quidditch is.”

His eyes were wide, whimsical, as a hand flew to his chest dramatically, “Rubbish! Bloody ridiculous! You’ve never seen a real Quidditch game? One day, I swear I’ll bring you to one! Or you can bring me to Canada one day and we can watch a home game!”

As James continued to rant, Y/N’s mind slowly drifted back to the bitterness in her chest. Trying to distract herself, she borrowed Lily’s quill and a few sheets of parchment, scribbling down letters in response.

Mom,  

I’m fine with Charms, you don’t need to send anything. And don’t worry, I’ve been studying for my OWLs.  

Love you, write soon.

The next letter was addressed to Matthew:

Matty Matt,

Of course, I didn’t replace you… yet. 

Another dance? You would think the students’ protest last year would have influenced the professors this time. I guess it’s time for you to get wasted. I didn’t tell you last time but I think I’m going to a party. A friend of mine is throwing it and I know he’s going to force me to come no matter what. He briefly mentioned costumes and drinks. Plus, there’s going to be some kind of prank that I may or may have not been a part of? Sounds cool right?  

Yeah, I’d say it’s been bad up here. I don’t know much about what's going on outside of school, though. The professors are hiding it well. I didn’t even hear about Jenkins stepping down. Keep me updated.  

Until next time  

She sealed the letters before sending Celeste off again, “Be quieter when you drop off the letters, yeah?”

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

It must be her lucky day.

The ringing of the bell went off, signalling the end of class. Professor Flitwick asked the students to stay behind so he could hand out quizzes the students completed on Monday in preparation for their upcoming test on Growth and Reductor charms the following Tuesday.

It was never a good sign when a professor flips your test over to prevent other students from seeing their mark. Flipping it over at a downwards angle, Flitwick handed Y/N her quiz.

Turning it over nervously, a tight coil formed in the pit of her stomach. A large P was plastered on the top right corner in bold red ink. She studied hard for this too. Angrily, she shoved her work into her bag and left the class. This was the third poor she'd gotten in a row. She should have told her mother she needed those Charm books.

“I swear I’m going mad! Her brother is a complete cow! He even — are you listening?”

She looks at the girl beside her, Marlene. Her glossed over, doe eyes must have served as an answer before the blonde shook her head.

“Sorry, distracted,” she mumbles, before forcing out a fake-happy tone, “Continue your story! I wanna hear!”

“Hey,” Marlene says in a softer voice, “If something’s bothering you, you can talk about it.”

“No, it’s okay,” she replies instinctively. She felt bad spacing out during Marlene’s story but her mind was running through and under hoops. The last thing any fifth year student needed was to fall behind in their classes, let alone feeling like nobody cared about them.

At that moment, she wished she was wrapped away in red and gold blankets to wallow in her self-pity party, away from prying eyes. She could feel the burning sensations of tears building up.

Dammit.

Y/N looked out the window to her left. The sky was melting with the warm hues of reds and yellows while the other half was being slowly engulfed into a cloak of twilight. Even from here, she could feel the cool air seeping in from the windows making her tug on the sleeves of her robes.

She continued, “I’m just tired — been a long day. I’m going to take a nap before dinner. See you.”

Judging by the look on Marlene and Lily’s face, guilt riddles her body. They both look sympathetic. The pity only made Y/N feel disgusting. In all honesty, Y/N will care later. Right now wasn’t the time and she desperately needed some shut-eye.

Before she left the room, she overheard them talking.

“What’s up with her?”

“Dunno.”

Great.

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

Sleep did little to ease her thoughts.

The same uneasiness she felt on the train ride to Hogwarts settled deep into her bones again. She thought she was past this. The worrying about friends, missing home, feeling alone, failing class, stressing about her future. The rational part of her brain knew it was just one silly quiz (and old shitty friends), but knowing herself, if she were to continue to have this mindset, she would only fail in the end.

Dinner ended and Y/N belligerently climbed up the stairs towards the library to attend today’s study session. The Charms quiz threw her into a loop and it was better not to dwell on it, opting to rather use her time for something useful.

Her marks improved significantly since she attended her first session two weeks ago. The last couple of assignments and quizzes she handed in that she worked on during the groups were some of her best work, ever. Additionally, her ability to retain information was improving at astonishing rates and she found herself participating in lessons more often. Unfortunately, she started to doubt her abilities again.

There weren’t as many students as usual. Perhaps it was because of the Quidditch meeting for all teams tonight, or because nobody wanted to spend their time in a library Friday night. She assumed it was the latter.

Although, the same student with black hair from Slytherin was there; tucked away in his usual corner. He was always there. Whether it was the study sessions, another OWL or NEWT student or he simply just enjoyed the library, Y/N could always rely on him sitting there in his little nook.

In the far back, surrounded by tall bookshelves sat Remus. Another student, a first or second year, judging by their height, seemed to be asking him a question, rapidly writing down something on a piece of parchment whilst they walked away. Remus leaned back in the brown chair, his right leg was folded over the other as he stretched.

She spent over twelve hours minimum with Remus directly since the first session, minus the time he was around James and the girls. Perhaps she only started to notice afterwards but she swore Remus wasn’t around this much before. Now, he was everywhere.

In the past couple of weeks she’d gotten to know him, she made a mental list in her head of him:

1. Remus loves sweaters. They weren’t flashy, seemingly preferring to wear ones with small designs, stripes or a solid colour. He wore green the most. He also wore cardigans. Two, in particular, he wore the most; one was white and the other was a muted brown. They were big and hung off his loose frame, the pockets were often stuffed with books, rumpled parchment and his wand.

2. He’s a coffee addict. He drank it in the morning, the afternoon, at the study session and sometimes with meals at dinner. He loved to dump pounds of sugar, so if he only drank black coffee, it usually meant he was in a bad mood. James even joked that he became Sirius whenever he drank black coffee, because haha! Get it? It’s BLACK coffee!

3. He frequented the library whenever he wasn’t with the rest of the marauders. He enjoyed poetry, wrote post-it notes after post-it notes to annotate his favourite parts. He even slept there from time to time, not without having to persuade Pince to not give him detention.

As if Remus magically sensed her, he took a large inhale before he stopped stretching, opening his eyes to look at her. A small smile was plastered on each other’s faces. He stuck up a few fingers to wave at her, motioning her to come over.

“Hi Y/N. I thought you didn’t come on Fridays?”

“I don’t but I have a test, Charms, Tuesday.”

“Oh, well I’m happy to help.”

“Thanks for the offer, Professor Lupin, but just being down here will help me focus.”

A scarlet blush settled on his face at the mention of his tutoring. “Well come sit with me then.”

Pushing the chair out of the way, she sat down beside him, pulling out her cassette player and earbuds along with her notes. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Remus staring at the player curiously.

“Do you want to listen?”

“If you don't mind. I didn’t know you could use these here.” Picking it up, he turned the rectangular device.

“If record players work here, why not this?”

She hands him an earbud, alongside a small collection of other tapes she had on hand.

“Choose whatever you want to listen to.”

Without much thought, he pressed the play button. The upbeat tune of Waterloo by ABBA trickled into their ears. Y/N bobbed her head up and down before the song was suddenly stopped.

A sour grimace sat on Remus’ face before their eyes met, his nose upturned slightly.

“Why’d you stop it?”

“I hate ABBA.”

“What!?”

“I just don’t like their cheesy disco-pop-esk sound. They sound generic and random words are thrown in when they don’t add to the song.”

“Jeez— never met anyone who hated them that much.”

A ghost of a smile appeared before he flicked through her collection of tapes. He picked up Abbey Road by The Beatles. Opening the player up, he slid out Waterloo. With a click and the press of a button, Come Together played.

“So you hate ABBA but not The Beatles? Benny and Bjorn said they were influenced by them!”

“Keyword: Influenced; which is just another word for a shitty knock-off version.”  

4. Remus Lupin is apparently a music snob.

“Well, I think both are good.”

“Respectfully, I disagree with you.”

“Whatever you say, professor.”  

"I've been thinking a bit, why did you come to Hogwarts? Why not just stay at your old school?"

The sudden switch of topics threw her into a loop. “Wasn’t by choice. My mom’s a doctor and got a position here. It was too good to turn down. But it’s not bad. There’s less wizarding laws.”

He nods his head, "I'm assuming you have dual citizenship?"

"Mhm."

About a half an hour passed as she sighed for the umpteenth time before putting down her quill. Her chair scraped back noisily as Y/N’s hand balled up into a tight fist, feeling her fingernails bite into her palm. She’d been flicking through her notes, the words all blended.

At this rate, if History of Magic didn’t exist, Charms would surely be her least favourite class.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?”

She was at a loss, this was the third time Remus had offered to help and he was persistent. She felt horrible that she was taking up his time to help her on a stupid Charms test.

He continued, “If you think bothering me is an issue, it’s not. I run the sessions on Friday. It’s my job.”

“Fine, but there has to be something I can do in return.”

“Hmm,” Remus pondered for a second, “How about this, I tutor you in Charms and in return you give me your Potions notes? I'm dreadful at it.”

“Deal.”

“Great. Before we start, is there anything in particular that you have questions on?”

Silently tapping on the quiz she received today, Remus snatched it and quickly scanned over her answers and Professor Flitwick’s notes.

“I see what happened. You know, the curriculum taught at Ilvermorny is different. That’s probably why you can’t understand some of this shit.” He cleared his throat, “So as we know, the growth charm increases the size of your intended target…”

His voice, like a light switch, changed instantly. Instead of his softer deep, raspier voice, it became commanding and steady. He never stumbled over his words and articulated his points elegantly. She found herself enraptured by him, understanding why he was in charge of the study groups.

Eventually, Remus takes a pause, “Does that make sense?”

“Yes. You know, you’re really good at this. No matter how much I asked Flitwick or even Lily I could never get it.”

A large blush bloomed on the apples of his cheeks before he shyly rubbed the back of his neck, averting his eyes. “I’m not that good.”

“No time for modesty, Professor Lupin!”

“Okay, okay! So here, do you see what went wrong? There would be a reaction with those two spells if —”

A boy, small, most likely a second year, stood at the foot of the shared table holding a large red and gold book. His hair, dark ginger, similar to Lily’s, was cut short. He fiddled with his fingers as he continued to stare at the two.

“... Um, hi. You're Remus — right?”

“Yup. Did you need help with something?”

“Yes! I’m having trouble with the Transfiguration spell, beetle into button.”

A look of understanding passed through his face before Remus turns to look at her, “Duty calls. It’ll be quick.”

“Of course, take your time.”

It was not quick. Understandably, very few were successful at the ginger’s age to perform the spell, but thirty minutes passed and the second year still didn’t understand the basic concepts. No matter how many times Remus had reiterated his point differently, the boy couldn’t retain it.

“I just don’t get it.”

“You learned this last year, it's a quick revision. I’m not sure what part you’re talking about. Look, do not wiggle or twirl your wand left, direct it towards the right. You have to picture the spell in your head before saying the incantation.”

He guided the boy's hand steadily before performing the spell himself.

“I don’t understand!” The boy whined.

He sighed, “Then we keep trying —”

“It’s too hard. Why are they teaching this crap anyway?”

“Could you stop complaining?” He snapped, closing his eyes before he realized what he’d just done. “I’m sorry about that. I’m… just tired. I can’t help you anymore, though. You should ask someone else,” Remus said brusquely, his eyes unnerving as he stared at the child. As a result, he yelped out a ‘thank you,’ rushing off in the opposite direction.

The muscles in his jaw tensed under the soft glow of the table lamps. There was a pale red tint rimming his eyes and he looked visibly paler than normal. Irritated, he bounced his knee rapidly, up and down, before looking out the large window beside them. The sky was mostly cloudy. Only the peak of the silvery moon appeared. A sliver was missing before it was fully complete.

He closed his eyes, before breathing in. His posture once stiffened, completely relaxed before a flimsy smile reappeared on his face, returning his attention to Y/N.

“Let’s continue, shall we?”

“If you’re tired we can stop.”

“No, s’okay. I’m fine — really.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek, adding to her list:

5. Remus was always so hard to read.

[jalapeno-princess]

Last Night

(There were many more gifs that matched this story but just him licking his fingers did so many things to my heart) (and my vagina)

Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 10.2K

Genre: Angst (toxic relationship, communication problems, Mark being an asshole) smut (brief description I was too lazy to go in to depth) tiny bit of fluff in the end

Summary: The relationship you had with Mark was hard to explain. What started off as the most beautiful relationship you could ever imagine yourself being apart of turned in to nothing but sex and it came to a point where you could no longer stay with someone who’s heart was no longer in it. You told yourself you were done with Mark Tuan completely, but what happens when he shows up to your door three weeks after you tell him it’s over, asking for you to give him one last chance?

A/N: Hey guys! Well that was fast hahaha, I told y’all I can’t stay away from writing no matter how hard I try! This is based on the song “La Noche De Anoche” by Bad Bunny and Rosalia which when I first heard it, I assumed it was a break up song (I do not speak a word of Spanish unfortunately) but when I researched the lyrics, it was actually very sexual so here we are. I feel as though my writing isn’t all that great with this story, I tried my best and it’s very repetitive but eh, it’s whatever. Please enjoy and happy reading! (BTW, I’ve read all your comments on my last post and I just want to say you are all so amazing I actually cried special shoutout to some of my favorite people ever @makeuhwa @solarblooms @ohmysugarclouds @strawberryogeurteu @yup-indecisive-girl-cece y’all deserve the entire world and more I love you all so much!!!!!!)

I know that this won't happen again But if it happens again, I know what would be your weakness Because last night was Something that I can't explain Alone, giving it and giving it without stopping  You told me you'd die for me Because last night was  Something that I can't explain  That was giving it and giving it without stopping You on top of me, me on top of you  Eh, eh You left my body hot, hell But you left my heart cold, winter Dreaming I'm with you is when I sleep  Tell me, papi Tell me, mami Who is erasing that night? You kissed me and my hat fell off Without lots of sweet-talk, without lots of sweet-talk When I'm with you I let the vibe go And let thе moon supervise us With that sweet mouth, evеrything you tell me is delicious We did positions that I, mami, I never did You got wet so that I'd baptize myself And that I'd get serious, serious You and I together creating an empire Those eyes have a mystery But in the end, nothing of ours was serious

MT: “Can you come over tonight?” 9:47 P.M.

You stared at the text message for a few minutes, debating on what your response should be. 

No. 

That was your initial reaction—especially after how things ended the last time you were with him. It’s been almost three weeks since you’ve seen Mark and if you remembered correctly, you left his apartment with your hair disheveled, your clothes a wrinkled mess and a pleasurable soreness in between your thighs—right as you both came down from your highs, you wasted no time in putting on your sweatpants and t-shirt; telling him that you could no longer continue to put yourself through the heartbreak that came with allowing him to take advantage of you. 

Deep down, you knew in that moment that whatever it was going on between you and Mark was over. Or at least, that’s what you’ve been trying to convince yourself in to thinking. Staying away from him for more than a day was already torture; you loved spending as much time as you possibly could with him—or at least you used to. 

You were happiest whenever you’d get to be with Mark. But that was before your relationship became as complicated as it currently was. Now, you wanted nothing else to do with him. These last three weeks felt like an entire year—it went by painstakingly slow and you felt extremely pathetic knowing that his absence was having such a negative effect on your mental and physical health. 

You were miserable not having him in your life anymore and what hurt worse was that he didn’t even try to chase after you once you confessed everything that was weighing heavy on your heart. It wasn’t like you wanted to leave. No. You planned on staying the night like you did every single time you found yourself writhing underneath him. 

Nights like those were reoccurring; he would text you either that morning or sometime between eight and ten in the evening—asking you if you wanted to come over. You would. Whenever he called for you, you’d always come running without hesitation. Every. Single. Time. You could be out with friends, or you’d be staying back at work, finishing an important project and you would drop everything to go and be with him. 

Mark must have had a sixth sense—he had to be aware of how willing you were to practically drop whatever it was that you were doing in that moment just so you could tumble in to bed with him. After a while though, you were getting used to not having him in your life. Sure, there were days that you missed him—well, you missed him and thought about him every single day but some days were better than others. 

Unfortunately, when the bad days came—and there were quite a few bad days, you would have a pity party for yourself consisting of ice cream and alcohol. He never left your mind once; you couldn’t stop wondering how he was doing, if he regrets letting you go, if he was missing you and thinking about you the way you constantly were with him. What made him reach out to you tonight? What did he think was going to happen? You cut all ties with him; did he think you were going to run back to him with open arms, acting as though nothing was wrong? 

Well, you couldn’t blame him for thinking like that. If ever Mark did something to upset you, you’d stay away from him for a couple of days and he could never last for more than three days not being able to hold you, kiss you and just have you with him. It took you a while to come to the realization, but his feelings for you weren’t what they used to be. He no longer loved you in the ways that he fervently did a couple of months ago. You weren’t the love of his life anymore—the person he claimed was his soulmate. The person he claimed was made especially for him. You were just a place to put his penis in every now and then. 

Once you accepted that things were not ever going to go back to the way they used to be, you thought long and hard about what you were going to do about Mark. No matter how much you loved him and how his name was forever etched onto your heart like a tattoo, you could no longer handle the pain that came with not being as important to him as he was to you. You told yourself to ignore him; if you were to give in to him and respond, then it would interfere with your progress in moving on. 

But then again, you couldn’t help but feel as though something was wrong. Mark Tuan could get anyone he wanted. You were confident in the fact that he wasn’t going to wait around for you when there were girls that would practically throw themselves at him on a daily basis. He was a twenty-seven year old man who had his desires and needs. There was no way he went this long without sleeping with somebody—Mark was a nymphomaniac. 

The two of you had sex almost every single day, but you weren’t complaining. Sex with Mark was a wild and extraordinary experience. You’ve only been with two guys before him and you could honestly say that he was the best sex you’ve ever had. 

Not only was he a very generous lover; paying attention to your needs before his own, going down on you without hesitation, experimenting in any position you wanted to try out, allowing you to dominate him whenever you were in the mood—Mark’s sole purpose was making sure that you were having as much of a good time as he was. If only he cared for you during the times when he wasn’t buried deep in to your pussy—like he used to. 

God, you really missed him—or more so the person he used to be back when you could actually feel the passionate love he held for you. But you were going to stand your ground. Mark Tuan didn’t deserve you and these three weeks of being away from him gave you a chance to genuinely think the entire situation out. He’s never deserved you and you weren’t going to give him another chance at breaking you again.

You: “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I meant what I said when I told you I was done Mark.” 9:58 P.M.

MT: “You didn’t mean that, you were just mad. Besides, you would have completely ignored my message if we were over. You miss me just as much as I miss you. Who are you trying to fool y/n? Come on, I need you. Please.” 10:00 P.M.

You weren’t going to lie, he had a point. If you no longer wanted anything to do with him and if you really wanted to cut all ties with him, you would have deleted his contact from out of your phone. His message would have been disregarded and the thought of him would be erased from your mind—yet here you were, allowing him back in and giving him the chance to take advantage of you again. 

Did you not have any ounce of self respect? You knew you deserved so much better than Mark, so much better. But you didn’t want better. You didn’t want someone you knew would give you the relationship you so badly desired. Someone who would give you the entire world and more on a silver platter. Someone who would call you and check up on you to see how you were doing. Someone who genuinely cared about you as a person and not just a body they benefit from. 

At one point in your relationship with him, Mark was everything you could have wanted in a significant other and more. So much more. It shocked you just how much of a caring, doting and adoring boyfriend he was. You didn’t think someone was capable of loving another person the way Mark loved you. Where did it all go wrong? 

When did love—the kind of love that consumed someone like an ocean and drowned them in the waves—the kind of love that was as fierce as a wildfire, never ending and setting your entire body in to flames—when did it all disappear? When did the love he had for you turn in to nothing but lust and sexual desire? Was it something you did? Something you said? When did Mark come to the realization that you were no longer worthy of his love and adoration for you? When did he decide your relationship was no longer worth fighting for?

You: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t miss me. You miss the sex—you miss fucking me. I poured my fucking heart out to you that night and you brushed me off like it was nothing. You made me feel like I was nothing and it hurt like hell Mark. Go find someone else to get your dick wet because it’s not going to be me.” 10:08 P.M.

If he were to send this message in the same week that you walked out of his life permanently, then no doubt would you have gone running straight in to his arms, allowing him to take you in whatever way he wanted to have you. You were sadistic—a masochist. It’s as if you got off on the high that being used and cheated by the man you loved the most gave you. Stockholm syndrome. That was the only plausible reason why you continuously allowed him to treat you the way he’s been for months. 

That’s the only reason why you kept giving and giving until you literally had nothing left to give. In a sense, he was holding you captive. If Mark was a compassionate person, he would have let you go. He would have let you try and find better than him. You were well aware that he wasn’t stupid; he had to know that you would never leave him completely unless he gave up on you. You couldn’t stop him from not wanting you in his life it it came down to that—the ball was in his court. It always has been. 

That’s why he was contacting you now. He must’ve known that even if you told him you never wanted to see him ever again, every world of anger and bitterness that fell from your lips was just a way to hide how you were actually feeling. You refused to make it known that the way he’s been taking advantage of your kindness and generosity was bothering you. He didn’t have the right to know nor was he ever going to. Not if you were going to do something about it. 

Reading that he missed you though—it tugged on your heartstrings. Your head was spinning and you felt like throwing up. There was no way that man missed you. No. It’s been three weeks. No text. No call. No voicemail. Nothing. Did he really play you out to be a fool? What did he expect? For you to pretend like these last few weeks weren’t ruining you entirely? Like his absence wasn’t the reason you were crying every single day and that you were literally minutes away from a panic attack? Who did he think he was? 

This was unfair. He was well aware that he could do this to you and get what he wanted in the end. Mark Tuan was really the scum of this earth. He had to hate you, there was no other explanation. How could someone be okay with hurting another person that gave them everything they had to offer and loved them with every fiber of their being? You waited for his response; you were curious as to how he would respond to that. 

Would he confirm that he was only reaching out to you to get his dick sucked? That’s what you wholeheartedly believed was his reason for finally getting in contact with you. It surprised you that he took this long, but then again—you wouldn’t be surprised if you were to find out that someone else was taking your place in pleasuring him. Then again—if there was someone else, wouldn’t he have just reached out to them? 

The thought of him fucking another woman made your skin crawl. He was not your boyfriend anymore, but your stomach churned as you pictured him touching someone who wasn’t you. However, he wasn’t yours to worry about or get jealous over anymore. He made that decision on his own when he detached himself from you all but physically. 

Sure, he continued to give you his body, but his mind, his heart and his whole being was no longer yours. After fifteen minutes, you accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to respond. Maybe you weren’t worth the time and effort to fight over. You were probably right. He wanted sex and since you made it known that you were not the same pushover you used to be—tending to his beck and call, he wasn’t going to try knowing you weren’t going to give in when you were sure he probably had women lined up to give themselves to him without hesitation. 

You began to clean your kitchen and put away some of the dishes as an attempt to take your mind off of what had just happened when you heard a knock at the door. Just the knock alone made it obvious as to who was behind the door. He’s been over to your place one too many times in the duration of your year long relationship, so it didn’t take a genius to know that it was in fact Mark knocking. Especially because he texted you not too long ago, but what was he doing there? 

To say you were nervous had to be the understatement of the year. You were terrified beyond belief—but that was because you knew Mark better than anyone else, and you knew yourself. Once you were to open that door, there was no fighting him or the feelings you so strongly held for him. You would be putty in his hands. You could put up as big of a fight as you possibly could—you could tell him to leave and even threaten him with calling the cops, you could tell him that you had someone over or you could just pretend like you were already asleep. 

It sounded so simple, but just like you, Mark has known you for quite some time now and this meant that he was well accustomed with your character and personality. He might no longer have cared about you for anything other than what you could do for him behind closed doors, but you were certain that he still remembered the little things about you. 

“Y/n, I know you’re in there and I know you’re not sleeping. Open up. We need to talk.” 

You scoffed and mentally cursed him for actually coming over. You already told him no—what made him think seeing you in person was going to change how you felt? He could say whatever he felt was going to get you to open the door, but you weren’t going to give in that easily. Honestly, you were planning on staying silent and just waiting for however long it took until he grew tired of staying outside. You meant serious business this time—or at least that’s why you kept trying to convince yourself. 

“Y/n—come on. I’m serious. Don’t—please don’t let this be it for us. Please. I need to see you. I’m so fucking sorry. I hope you know I plan on staying the entire night if I have to. I’ll do whatever I have to in order for you to open the door. I’ll knock all evening if that’s what it’ll take. I’ll scream and cry, I’ll even ring on this damn doorbell—“

“What do you want Mark? What are you doing here?” 

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t know why you opened the door. There were so many red flags going off in your mind while a tiny voice in your head was begging you to ignore him. He wasn’t your problem to begin with anymore. If your neighbors were to complain about the noise, than he’d have to deal with the police and he’d be out of your hair in no time. Yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be evil—you didn’t want to cause him any harm or be the reasoning behind his suffering. 

That wasn’t the type of person you were no matter how badly you wanted to hurt him the way he hurt you. You wanted him to cry over you. You wanted him to realize the hell he’s been putting you through in the last few weeks. However, you had a feeling it wouldn’t bother him as much as it currently was bothering you. Men were never as emotionally involved in relationships as women were. 

He probably didn’t even think about you once since you stormed out that night, so you needed to be strong and get him out of there quickly. You needed to remind yourself; you deserved so much better than him even if all you really wanted was him. He would never and could never desire you and crave you in the ways that you so heavily did for him. 

You’d be asking for too much by wanting him to have even the smallest ounce of worry for you. Seeing him for the first time since you got everything off of your chest felt like a slap to the face. You felt as if you couldn’t breathe. It was suffocating—you could feel tears brimming at your eyelids at the sight of him in all his handsome glory. 

He was currently dressed up in one of the most lethal outfits a man could ever wear—gray sweatpants and a white tank top. He knew exactly what he was doing coming over dressed like that; especially because you were very vocal about how simple yet extremely sexy the pairing was and how he pulled it off so effortlessly. His hair was a little longer than it was three weeks ago. You told him you preferred his hair long for some reason and ever since then, he’s been growing it out. 

He claimed it was because the weather has been growing colder and that he didn’t have time to stop by the barber shop but deep down, you knew he did it in order to impress you. Plus, it was easier to grab handfuls of his soft locks as you found yourself riding him like the professional cowgirl you were. If he were to show up the day after you left, you probably would have pounced on him without even hearing a word he had to say. But now—now you were reminded of how he didn’t even try to hide his disinterest and lack of concern as your tears began to fall down your cheeks while you poured out your entire being to him and that gave you the boost of confidence you didn’t even know you were capable of. 

“I—um—I uh—um—“ 

He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. The many years you have known him for made it easy for you to pick up the meaning behind his ministrations. Whenever he’d draw his attention to the ground and bring his hand up to his nape, this meant that he was either shy, had no idea how to respond to something or he was embarrassed. 

Mark took on the dominant role in your relationship. He was the leader; you allowed him to control your entire relationship, but he wasn’t controlling nor was he mean, forceful or ever made you feel uncomfortable. If anything, he was very soft—he was kindhearted and gentle. He made sure that you were just as happy and content in your relationship as he was. 

However, you now regretted allowing him to have that power over you. Sure, he never took advantage of your generosity and vulnerability while the two of you were a couple, but when you changed from a comforting and romantic relationship to one strictly based on sex, you felt as though he couldn’t care less about what you did anymore and that’s when you realized you didn’t have the motivation or energy to stick around with someone who was completely void of any feelings for you. It was a one way relationship and you could no longer handle being the only person who was putting in the effort to keep your relationship going. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say—I have an idea of what you’re thinking and I know you told me not to come. I just—fuck. I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry and I—I—“

“You what Mark? You’re here for the reasons I assumed you were? Sex. That’s all I’m ever good for huh? Someone to get your dick wet. Someone to suck you dry—an outlet to release all your pent up frustration? I’m sick and tired of your shit Mark. I’m sick and tired of the way that you’ve been treating me like I’m nothing but a good fuck. I’m a human being Mark! I have feelings too! Or did you forget that because the only person that matters to you is yourself. I meant it! I refuse to let you do this to me! I refuse to let you hurt me any more that you already did. I’m a shell of nothing! I used to be such a bright, bubbly, ray of fucking sunshine and you took that all away from me. You broke me—you ruined me beyond belief. Is that what you wanted? Are you happy? Whatever I did to you to make you hate me so much, I’m sorry. But I’m done. You don’t deserve me. You never did and you never will.” 

Your chest felt so much lighter now that you got out everything you wanted to say. There was so much more weighing heavy on your mind, but you were confident that he didn’t even care. You’d be wasting your time—hell, you wasted your time the minute you opened the door. You gave him the chance to apologize—to come back in to your life when you should have dead bolted the lock on the door of your past life with Mark once and for all. 

The silence that took over as soon as you finished your confession was genuinely suffocating. You refused to look up at him, if you did you were well aware of the chance that he’d be giving you a look of remorse. One that would make you feel sorry for him. A look that would have you on your knees with a snap of a finger. But you needed to stand your ground. You already gave him so many chances—enough was enough. 

“I don’t hate you—“

“That’s bullshit and you know it—“

“Y/n, I do not hate you. I never hated you. Get that mentality out of your head damnit—“

“Then why—why did you end us huh? Was it because I wasn’t good enough for you? All the girls who’d throw themselves at you—the girls with tinier waists, prettier faces, bigger asses and breasts—girls who would  come running to you at your beck and call? Girls who are easy and don’t care whether or not you use them for your own personal gain? You didn’t love me. You never loved me. I gave you everything—I gave you all of me and you took it like the greedy son of a bitch you are. Do you get some sort of sick high hurting other people? Does it add to your already huge ego? What do you get from manipulating me—“

“I let you go for your sake! Fuck—I was the one who wasn’t good enough for you and I could see what loving me was doing to you. You’re right—I ruined you and I’m so fucking sorry y/n. You don’t have to believe me. You probably think I’m saying these things just to get on your good side or to get you to feel sorry for me but I’m telling you the truth. It was hurting me, seeing you suffering because of the way I was treating you—what I was putting you through. I was never capable of loving someone or being loved by someone, but then you came in to my life and God, I wanted to be someone worthy of your love and affection. I tried so hard—I wanted to do the best I could to make you happy and to be a boyfriend you could be proud of, but I was just so fucking scared of getting hurt again. I’ve never told you this and it was because I didn’t want you to pity me nor did I want to make myself vulnerable but I’ve been hurt before. Before you—I was a player. I was hooking up with girls left and right for a while. Then I met my ex-girlfriend and I really thought she was the one. I adored her, I thought the world of her and I loved her. Or, at least I thought I did. It wasn’t until I came to terms with the fact that I was in love with you did I realize that I never loved her. We were together for almost five months and this was a year before you and I began dating. I found out she was sleeping with a friend of hers and I went crazy. I told myself that I would never allow someone to have that power over me—to hold so much of my trust—to make me feel like the only person in the entire world and then make me look like an idiot—“

You couldn’t help but let out a scoff of disbelief. If you were being honest with yourself, hearing him say that his ex-girlfriend broke his heart and led him in to being afraid of being in another relationship and trusting another person made your stomach sore. Mark had to be one of the most gentle human beings you have ever met. He couldn’t even hurt a fly—one time he accidentally stepped on a lizard and he cried for almost an entire hour. 

His heart had to be made of pure gold, he was just a wonderful human being. Well—used to be. You felt so sorry for the beautifully broken boy standing in front of you. He looked as though he was about to cry, his lip began to quiver and tears were starting to brim at his eyelids. Whether he was upset after his entire heartfelt confession about the love he held for you or because thinking of his unfaithful ex bothered him—you wanted to reach out to him and pull him in to a hug. 

Nobody deserved to get their heart broken, but Mark was the last person who anyone should have done such a ruthless thing to. This was the first time you have ever heard about his last relationship or any relationship he’s ever had but you just assumed he didn’t want to bring up that part of his life since it no longer existed. 

With the way he used to take such amazing care of you, you just assumed he did the same with his ex-girlfriend. Nobody was perfect, but Mark came pretty close and it made you curious as to how someone could let such an indescribably otherworldly being go. You wanted nothing more to find the girl who tore apart your sweet boy and cause her the same amount of pain she caused Mark—the same pain he was currently putting you through. 

However, why were you being punished for somebody else’s crime? Why was your chance at love being taken away from you because of another girl’s mistake? If Mark loved you like he claimed he did, why would he continue to torment you knowing exactly what his actions were doing to your mental state? 

“Look, I’m sorry she did that to you. I really am. I can imagine the large amount of trauma from being cheated on can cause—but that doesn’t mean you had the right to use me as a way to get over your pain and throw me aside when you realized you were allowing yourself to be vulnerable again. Did you just assumed I was going to do the same thing to you? Mark, we’ve been together for over an entire year—have I once ever made you question my feelings and loyalty towards you?”

“No, but—“

“I’ve told you I love you at least three times every single fucking day and I’m sure I’ve proved my love physically as much as I did verbally. I did everything I could to make you happy. I moved an entire fucking state to be closer to you. I left my friends and family back home, I left a job I was in love with and a loft that is much bigger than this fucking shoe box just so you and I could be together. I’ve loved you since the moment I realized I needed to be around you at all times. I never wanted anyone else. It was always you. Was my reassurance not good enough? Fuck—the fact that you told me you no longer wanted to continue our romantic relationship yet you had the nerve to ask me if we could still have sex—and the fact that I agreed just because I was fine with having you in any way I possibly could—I’m such a pathetic fool. We could have had it all Mark. We could have been so happy together—“

“That’s why I’m here tonight. I want to fix this. I’m sorry for staying away for so long, but I wanted to give you your space and I was afraid that you’d push me away. Actually, this time apart has made me realize just how much I cannot live without you. I love you—I really do. I’m so madly and fucking crazily in love with you that I’m genuinely scared of what I’m capable of doing just to be yours again. I know I don’t deserve a second chance and I’m so sorry for breaking your heart. I’m sorry for being such a fucking selfish asshole. You deserve so much better than me and I should have tried harder for us—but I swear to God if you take me back, this time around will be different. I will take good care of you y/n, I won’t let you go ever again. These last few weeks without you was fucking hell—it took every bone in my body not to call and text you. I actually came here five times and sat on the stairs, trying to build the courage to talk to you. Losing you had to be the hardest loss I’ve ever experienced in my entire existence and it’s all my fault.” 

His fingertips made their way up to your cheeks and you were too caught up with everything he said to realize it until he cupped both sides of your face and lifted it up so that you were making eye contact with him. You were growing upset with yourself for allowing him to touch you—to caress you because this meant you were giving in to him and you made a pact with yourself that you’d move on from him. 

You kept trying to convince yourself that the thought of Mark walking in on his ex-girlfriend in bed with her friend and the pain he must have felt is what got you to allow him permission in holding you as he was so gently right now—but you knew exactly why you weren’t pushing him away like any sane human being would. Mark Tuan, whether you liked it or not was the man who held your heart. The only man who probably ever will. 

All you wanted since you stormed out of his apartment that night was for him to come back and beg you to take him as yours again. Here he was doing just that—yet you were still so hesitant. What if his words were nothing but empty promises? What if he were to hurt you again down the line? What if you were to let down your walls that you took so long to build after you came to the decision that loving him was going to kill you one day only for him to come in and ruin you tenfold? Was it going to be worth it? You were still slowly falling in love with yourself and rebuilding yourself—were you really going to allow Mark to interrupt and ruin the process? 

“I know from past experience and by the look on your face that you’re overthinking and I just want you to know that—“

“Just shut up and kiss me. I’ll probably regret this in the morning but I can’t think at all—I just need closure—“

“Y/n—“

“Either you kiss me or you leave. It’s all up to you—“

Kissing Mark had to be one of your favorite activities not only as a couple but just in general. Even before the two of you began dating, you found yourself staring at his lips on multiple occasions. They always looked so soft—they were plump, heart shaped and the prettiest shade of pink. His lips melded perfectly with yours, as if they were made for you. The kiss started off slow and gentle—as if he was afraid that you would pull away all too soon. Slowly, he began pushing you more and more inside of your apartment and deepened the kiss as the two of you made your way towards your bedroom. 

“Jump for me baby.” 

You did as you were told and threw yourself on top of him, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist as your hands found their way around his neck. He roughly squeezed at your ass and pressed you up against the wall, not being able to go any second without his lips on yours. You couldn’t explain just how amazing being in his arms and having his lips attacking yours felt—God it felt wonderful. Before you could process his next move, he shoved the door open and threw you on to the bed as he started attacking your neck with sloppy kisses. 

“How the fuck did I go so long without you? Fuck baby—you’re so, so beautiful.” 

When you felt his hard on press up against your thigh, you had to stifle back a laugh. Mark was notorious for easily getting turned on. This was a common occurrence; it didn’t take long for his cock to stand right at attention. Whenever you’d wear one of his shirts or if you sat on his lap—he would groan in sexual frustration. 

“Can I—can I make love to you?” You nodded without hesitation and one by one, your layers of clothing were being flown across of the room. Both his clothes and yours were scattered all around the floor, leaving you both in nothing but your underwear. 

“So fucking gorgeous, I can’t wait to have my way with you.” 

He began leaving chaste kisses along your neck and made his way down to your naked breasts. Mark was very verbal about how much he loved playing with and sucking on your breasts. Breast play was both a huge kink of Mark’s and yours. He took both your large mounds in between his hands and began to knead them, twisting and flicking your nipples. You moaned at the sensation—Mark’s fingers always did wonders whether he was using them on your breasts, on your ass, on your hips or in between your legs. He had some of the prettiest fingers you’ve ever seen and they were magical. 

“It’s only been three weeks but I feel as if your tits grew bigger. I didn’t think it was possible seeing as how they’re humongous. Ah—I can’t get over how perfect you are.” 

Your heart swelled at his words—Mark always knew exactly what to say and now you knew there was no going back. You pushed back the tiny voice begging you to stop what you were doing to the back of your head. 

Closure. All I need is closure. 

Who were you kidding? Mark was back in your life now—the ball was in your court and you were non-verbally giving him another chance. Is that what you really wanted though? Of course it was. You wanted Mark—you didn’t need him but you wanted him. God, oh how you wanted him. You were so deep in to your thoughts that the flick of your clit sent warmth to both your chest and your cheeks. 

“You’re already so wet. You feel so amazing as always baby.” 

It’s been a while since you’ve heard that term of endearment fall from his lips. As frustrated as you were with him, you wanted him to say that four letter word as many times as he could. It reminded you of when everything was how it used to be—wonderful, beautiful, extraordinary—fairytale like almost. Too good to be true really. You felt yourself choke up thinking about how amazing your relationship once was. 

Why did he have to ruin it by running away? Why didn’t he just tell you his fears before? Why did he allow you to fall so deeply in love with him? Why did he continue your relationship for so long knowing that your feelings grew deeper and deeper as the days went by? You absentmindedly cupped his cheek and smashed your lips against his; as much as you wanted to be upset with him, you couldn’t help but feel a small amount of pity as his words of insecurity began to replay over and over in your mind. He smiled in to the kiss and continued to rub on your clit with one hand and pinched your nipple between his fingers. 

“Tell me you love me.” 

You looked up at him in both surprise and disbelief. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that you loved Mark. Even though your relationship was in shambles and there was practically nothing left, you never stopped loving him. He took up too much space in both your mind and your heart for you to move on from him that quickly. 

It worried you; since Mark was the first and only man you’ve ever loved, you were terrified out of your mind thinking that you were never going to find someone else. You prayed for God to give you a sign; you also wanted him to give Mark a change of heart. All you really desired was for him to fall back in love with you. It was honestly too much to ask for but you didn’t even care. You deserved to receive the same love you gave him so effortlessly. However, you didn’t know if you were ready to confess it to him just yet. You were still so broken and fragile; he didn’t deserve your love just yet. 

“Mark—I—I—I’m sorry. I can’t.  Not right now. I’m not ready to say it just yet.” 

Seeing his shoulders slump as his whole demeanor changed in to that of disappointment made you feel like literal shit. He looked so defeated; like you ripped his soul right out of his body. If you questioned the love he held for you before you had him hovering on top of you, you were now confident that he indeed still loved you. The look of hurt in his eyes after you admitted how you currently felt was proof enough that Mark held feelings for you. He slowly leaned back and ran his hand through his hair; taking in a few deep breaths before giving you a sad smile. 

“Don’t be sorry—I should be the one apologizing. I have no right to ask you to do that or anything else for me. I’m sorry y/n. I just—I missed hearing you say it. But it’s my fault. I’m selfish. I took all your love confessions for granted—I took you for granted and now I’m paying the fucking price of it having to live without you—“

You wiped a couple of tears that fell down his cheeks before taking his face in between the palms of your hands. 

“Even if I can’t say it, I’m sure you know that I do. I still do. I haven’t stopped. Ever. Not even once and if I’m telling the truth, I probably never will. We’ll talk later—now, I really need you to do something or I’ll go insane.” 

If he was disappointed, he did a good job at not showing it. He returned his position back in between your thighs and left soft, feather like kisses along your body, making his way down to your navel and finally reaching your entrance. He placed a wet kiss on both sides of your inner thighs before licking a long strip along your slit. 

“Such a pretty pussy. I can’t wait to devour you princess. Time to eat.”

The sun was warm against your cheeks and it took you a while to process that you were no longer asleep. The pleasurable soreness in between your thighs was a reminder of what happened the night before. Flashbacks of your late night love making session with Mark came rushing back as you gazed at his sleeping figure. He looked so peaceful and he had his arms wrapped gently around your waist. 

His breath was warm as he continued to wander around in dreamland and it was in that moment did you groan in irritation at your thoughtless decision. Sure, mending your broken relationship sounded good on paper last night—especially after the five hour sex session the two of you had. 

Honestly, in the duration of your time as a couple, last night had to be the best sex you’ve ever had with Mark. It was dirty—nasty—rough—wild—sinful to the tenth degree; you couldn’t even describe just how naughty it actually was. The two of you experimented in many different positions; he sat on a chair and you bounced on him with a relentless pace, he threw you up against the wall and rammed his cock so deep inside of your pussy causing the tip to hit your cervix repeatedly, he kneeled and placed your ass on his lap while he fucked you from behind, he propped you on top of his lap with your back pressed firmly against his chest as he guided you along his length. 

No matter how many rounds you went, neither you or Mark could get enough. You were both addicted to the high that came with loving on the other’s body. You can still see the imprint of your breasts on the window when he pressed you up against the pane and fucked you doggy style. 

The sound of skin on skin slapping—your ass bouncing deliciously against his front; it was breathtaking. The older boy ate you out three times and you came every single time. You returned the favor by going down on your knees, taking as much of his dick down your throat and choking on it purposely—knowing just how much Mark got off on hearing you gag on him. 

Although he was very generous in eating your cunt like he hasn’t eaten anything in a long time, he was very vocal about how much of a professional you were at giving head and because of this, he would indirectly hint towards having you blow him dry at least once a day. You were sure that if you tried to stand up, your legs would give out and you’d end up falling right back down. He fucked you like he hated you—like he had a vengeance against you. Not once was it slow or passionate and as much as you loved kinky sex, it did make you sad as you grew to overthink again. 

You couldn’t stop thinking that everything he said last night was a lie. His tears—the way his chest began to heave as his brows furrowed, it was all his way to get you to feel sorry for him and to hopefully bring you back to him. You believed he sweet talked his way in to having sex with someone he knew would give their body to him so easily. Why he didn’t feel as though he could have gone to someone else instead of running back to you—you’d never understand and you didn’t feel like asking him. 

Looking at him right now; sleeping peacefully, naked and bare, his pretty lashes fluttering as his chest lifted up and down—you wished you could have forgotten the entire month and the months he was only in it for the sex. You wished things could have been what they used to be before everything went to flames. You wished you could pretend none of this ever happened and run straight in to his arms. There was nothing more that you wanted than to bask in him and all his handsome glory. 

Sure, the sex was no doubt out of this world, but you cared for more than just the sex. Sex should be the cherry on top of a perfect ice cream sundae. In this case; you wanted to be held—you wanted to be able to run to Mark whenever you had a rough day. You wanted to stay up in the wee hours of the morning watching reruns of Netflix shows, you wanted to bake all kinds of desserts you’d see on the food network, you wanted to read books while sitting on his lap as he played video games; everything the two of you used to do, you wanted to do it. 

Being domestic; romantic and just genuinely in love—two sided love, that’s all you wanted. You decided to gaze at him for just a little longer. Your heart and your mind were at war in that moment. As much as you wanted to believe his promise of doing better and mending your relationship, the voice reminding you that things weren’t going to change wouldn’t stop nagging you. With a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, you made the decision to jump in the shower. 

Not only did you want to cleanse your body of all the sweat and excess cum you were sure was stuck all over your stomach, thighs, breasts and back, but you needed to be as far away from Mark as you possibly could. Also, taking a shower was when you were your most serene. You could use the hot water to break you out of your many thoughts. Not wanting to wake him, you tried your best to quietly walk over towards your bathroom and closed the door quietly behind you before jumping in the tub. 

The water was blazing hot—but honestly you didn’t even feel it. Your body was too numb to really take in your surroundings and to feel anything at all. It took you a while to start doing something, you had no desire to move. You were filled with too many emotions that it took almost five minutes to put shampoo in your hair. The droplets began to pound against your skin as you thoroughly ran your fingers through your hair. 

Since you didn’t look at your phone or the clock on your night stand, you had no idea what time it was but you didn’t even care. You didn’t have too much planned for the day; if Mark hadn’t come over you would have went grocery shopping and had a little pity party filled with wine and ice cream like you have been for the last few weeks. You had no clue what you were going to do once he woke up. Did you want him to stay? Did you want him to go? Of course you wanted him to stay. He would have left the second he showed up if you didn’t want him there. But you were losing your sanity the longer he stayed at your apartment. 

The love you held for him came crashing in to you like a terrifying storm, there was no turning back anymore and that’s what you were afraid of. Since you were so busy thinking about your excuse as to why he couldn’t stay anymore, you failed to hear the bathroom door open nor did you hear the shower curtain slide. You only realized Mark had join you when you felt him rubbing shower gel along your shoulders. He placed a soft kiss against your jaw as he placed his head in the crook of your neck. 

“Good morning baby. Sleep well?” You hummed in agreement and leaned in to his embrace. 

Just a little while longer y/n. This is your last time with him. Take in as much as you possibly can. 

“That was the best sleep I had in weeks—and I know it’s because you were in my arms. God—last night had to be one of the best nights of my entire life I’m not even joking. I mean, we’ve had makeup sex so many times but fuck—that was fantastic. You—God y/n I can’t get over how beautiful and fucking perfect you are. Do you have any plans for today?” 

You turned around to face him and reached for your shampoo to put in his hair. His morning voice was so sexy. Mark’s voice was one of your favorite sounds in the world. It was soft and gentle towards the people that he was familiar with and even to strangers as his way of being polite. Sometimes he talked to you as if you were a child, but it wasn’t in a teasing or humiliating way. 

It was more so because he was so protective over you and he made it known that you were such a delicate little flower in his eyes. However, in the mornings and during sex, his voice would grow deeper; raspier and it never failed to send shivers down your spine. He giggled as you scrubbed his brown, curly locks and brought his hands down to your hips, grazing your hip bones ever so gently. 

“As a matter a fact, I do. I have to pick up some groceries, my laundry is piling up and I meant to go visit my mom sometime this afternoon.” His small smile soon turned in to a frown, but he didn’t say anything and allowed you to continue washing his hair. 

“So—you—you said you wanted to talk this morning. What um—what are we y/n?” Although you were well aware that the topic of you and Mark was going to come up sooner or later, you weren’t mentally prepared for that conversation just yet. You didn’t come to the decision as to whether or not you were going to take him back. When you heard him sigh, you had a feeling he thought your response was going to be a negative one and he had every right to think so. 

“Y/n, you know we can’t live without one another. As much as you deserve better, and fuck—you deserve the entire universe, you and I need each other. This relationship is toxic, sure, but I wouldn’t want to go through life with anyone else. You’re it for me—for the rest of my life. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I need you to know that. I felt so fucking depressed without you. I was on the brink of insanity. I guess it was my karma for taking advantage of you, but I want nothing more than to fix my mistakes if that is what it will take to bring you back to me. What was last night huh? You wouldn’t have let me fuck you the way that I did if you didn’t see us getting back together—“

“What do you want me to say Mark? Huh? Sex doesn’t solve anything! Did you really think that your half ass apology and your shitty ass, empty words were going to fix the fucking wreck you left my heart in? Did you think your cock was going to patch up my wounds—get rid of my insecurities and make me whole again? Our relationship wasn’t toxic—you’re the toxic one! You’re a fucking asshole Mark Tuan. You know what you were doing the minute you broke up with me and had the nerve to ask me if we could still hookup. You’re the actual devil you know that? You don’t love me. You never loved me. That’s why you could leave so easily. If you loved me, we wouldn’t be here right now but here we fucking are Mark. I wouldn’t have cried every single day because of you. I would have never questioned my worth—I would have never questioned what I was to you or who I was to you. But I did. I always wondered what you’d tell your friends or your family whenever they’d ask me who I was after we broke up. Was I still your girlfriend or was I just somebody you ran to when you wanted to get your dick wet? I can’t blame you completely, I allowed you to do that to me but fuck Mark—did it not bother you in any way? Did lying to me, only reaching out to me when it was beneficial for you, making me feel like I wasn’t good enough—what did that do for you? Did it fuel your ego knowing you had that kind of power over someone? Fucking tell me you asshole! Last night—last night was my way to say goodbye to you. To us. It meant nothing to me—“

“That’s bullshit and you know it, stop fucking lying to me. I can see it in your eyes y/n. Your mouth is saying one thing but your eyes hold a totally different story. I know you. You’re probably stuck—you want me. You want to be with me again just as much as I want to be with you. I’ll do anything to make you mine again. You said it last night. You weren’t ready to tell me that you still love me, but you do. Even if you didn’t confirm it, I know you do and I love you to. I love you so fucking much damnit get it through that head of yours. I’m not going anywhere. If it’s space and time that you need, I’ll give it to you. And no, I wasn’t lying. I meant every single thing I told you last night. You’re my lifeline. You’re all I want for the rest of my life—please, you have to believe me.” 

You turned around in frustration and shut off the water; you were confused and upset. Why did he have to do this right now? Why did he think it was a good time to throw this all on you? There was nothing you hated more than lying. It wasn’t who you were. Every time you had to lie to someone, you just felt so terrible. But you didn’t want Mark knowing the truth. He’d use it against you if he were to find out that you were seconds away from giving him what he wanted. 

“I love you. Okay? I love you Mark and I hate that I do. I wish I could stop. Loving you is so tiring. Unrequited love is the worst. Loving you is going to be the reason I end up six feet under. I love you, but love is not enough anymore.” He brought his hands up to your face and cupped your face all but gently. His eyes pierced through yours; it was obvious that he meant business. With the way he was acting, he wasn’t leaving your place until he made things right. 

“I don’t know what else I can do or say to get you back in my life. Love is enough. Our love will always be enough. I love you, you love me—I don’t care about anyone or anything else. I’ll fight for you, as long and as hard as you need me to. I’ll do whatever you ask of me, whatever will make things right. I know how it feels to live without you and I cannot fucking do it anymore. I’m sorry it took me so long, but you know my reasons for staying away. Don’t you ever think, even for just a second that everything I’m telling you is a lie. I meant and I mean every single fucking word. My heart—or whatever is left of it—whatever you didn’t take with you that night, it beats for you. It’s yours. Forever. I can’t sleep, I couldn’t sleep at all since you left. I haven’t been eating and all I could ever think about was you. The pain in your eyes as you stormed out, the way your words repeated like a broken record in my mind, whatever clothes and items you left at my place—hell, your scent is still on my pillow and it’s been haunting me every single day. I never understood what love was and I never understood why people made such a big deal of it before I met you. But as soon as I came to the conclusion that I was in love with you, everything made sense. So please—I’m not asking you to forget everything I’ve put you through and all that you’ve suffered in the last few weeks. I’m so fucking sorry, I really am. Tell me you don’t want to be with me anymore. Tell me you don’t see me in your future and I’ll let you go. I don’t want to keep bothering you anymore. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I know I’m toxic and it took hearing you say that for me to accept it, but I promise you things will be different this time around. I’ll change. You’ll never question your place in my life or what you meant to me ever again. I will make sure to remind you just how much I love you and how much you mean to me verbally and physically on a daily basis. Please baby, one more chance. That’s all I need.” 

The look of hopefulness in his eyes and the way he was holding you so protectively, so tightly as if he was afraid of what would happen if he were to let you go; his motions alone made the decision for you. There was no going against your heart, no matter how hard you could try. At the end of the day, Mark Tuan—even after all the mistakes he’s made and all the trauma he had you suffer through, he was your soulmate. 

That man, that beautifully broken man, he was made for you. He was yours and you were his. Sure, he could have handled things much more differently and these last few months could have been prevented, but it was in the past. No point in beating yourself up about spilled milk anymore. To both his and your surprise, you pressed him up against the cold tiles of your shower and roughly smashed your mouth against his. You didn’t give him any time to prepare and you took the lead in moving your lips against his. When you felt him smile in to the kiss, you knew you made the right decision. Only Mark Tuan was capable of making you cry, cum and smile in less than an hour timespan. There was nobody like him and there would never be anyone who could replace him. 

“Please don’t ruin things this time. Promise me you’ll talk to me. We need to work on our communication Mark. I think I would actually die if I have to leave you again.” 

He nodded vehemently and stole a couple of sweet kisses from your lips as he carefully picked you up and threw you over his shoulder—playfully smacking your ass in the process and taking you back in to your bedroom. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it. You and I are endgame baby. Now, as much as I love your mom, I think we should make up for lost time, don’t you? There are many more positions I want to experiment in. Particularly the one where you split on my dick—what? You’re stuck with me for life you know that? I love you so much y/n. More than you will ever be able to comprehend with that beautiful head of yours. Thank you for coming back to me.”

[wheresmybuckyhoes]

Truth or Dare

Summary: Your college roommate Roger and his friend Brian insist on playing truth or dare. Obviously, it takes a different turn...

Pairing: Brian May + Roger Taylor + female reader

Warnings: Swearing, smut, 18+ (obviously), suggestion of oral, threesome, anal, double penetration, drinking

Note from me: This is my second fanfic! If you want me to write about a specific scene you thought of just message me and I’ll write it asap <3 p.s. I just read it and it’s so bad so no judgment please xx

You lazily walked into the small kitchen of your shared apartment in small pyjama shorts and a tight cropped vest top. Although it was already 2 in the afternoon, you had just woken up, as you usually did during holidays. You poured some water into the kettle and flipped the switch on the side to boil the water. Making yourself some coffee, you hummed the song you heard Roger and his friend Brian singing last night during their practice for their band ‘smile’. They didn’t really have a large fan base but you had to admit, they were pretty damn good.

As you added milk and sugar to your coffee, you flicked through a magazine which Roger had left on the table. It was this weeks copy of playboy, and the woman on the front was gorgeous. You admired her body and felt a small flicker of jealousy as you continued to roughly page through the magazine.

When you had almost finished your coffee, you heard keys being rattled and watched as the door swung open. In walked the blonde with the drumsticks and the gorgeous blue eyes followed by the tall brunette with the mane of curly hair. ‘Hey Bri’ you smiled as Brian gave you a friendly wave and threw his jacket on the sofa. You turned to face Roger as he flung a drumstick at Brian, narrowly missing and earning a low grunt of annoyance from Brian. ‘How many times have I told you to stop leaving your weird naked magazines out’ you scorned Roger. ‘Maybe I woudn’t need the magazines if my roommate just walked around naked?’ he replied playfully, brushing past you to grab some beers from the fridge.

You and Roger always joked around in that way. You made out a few times when you were drunk as fuck but nothing more ever happened between you two as you were such good friends. You weren’t as close with Brian but he always made you blush with his flirtatious remarks and meaningful compliments, and you were growing close with him.

‘Is that for me?’ you questioned as Roger pulled out 2 beers from the fridge. He rolled his eyes dramatically and threw one to Brian who was spread out on the couch. He opened the top with his teeth and chugged it down like water. ‘Here you go y/n’ Roger winked at you before handing you the empty bottle. ‘Dick’ you muttered, loud enough so he could hear.

The three of you settled into the couch and watched Netflix well into the night, talking and laughing and barley even paying attention to what was playing on the tv. Now it was 10pm, and you had pulled out the vodka.

‘You know boys, no play date is complete without a hangover’ you smirked as you sat down between them, vodka in hand. ‘This doesn’t usually end well y/no’ Roger said playfully as the three of you took turns taking big gulps from the bottle, passing it around. You shrugged and turned to face Brian. ‘I’m sure it will be fine Rog’ Brian said, laughing.

After the equivalent of a few shots each, Roger’s face suddenly lit up. ‘Let’s play truth or dare’ he said brightly. You raised your eyebrow in question.

‘What are we 10? Oh Brian, I dare you to do 5 press-ups’

‘No y/n, not that shit. I mean the you know... adult version’

‘Seriously Rog?’

‘Yes its an excellent idea’

‘I think Roger’s onto something y/n’ Brian chirped in eagerly.

You sighed and reluctantly opened your mouth. ‘Fine. But I’m not going first’

Roger smirked and pulled both of you of the sofa to sit in a circle on the floor. You crossed your arms and looked between the 2 boys sat in front of you.

‘Ok I guess I’ll go first then. Truth or dare, Bri?’ Roger asked as he took another sip from the vodka. ‘Truth I guess’ Brian replied. ‘Have you ever thought about fucking y/n’ Roger asked quickly before moving back quickly to escape the brief attack from you. ‘That’s so lame Roger. It’s ok if you don’t want to answer Br...’

‘Yes’ Brian replied, looking you up and down and cutting you of. You were taken back. You had never thought that Brian would see you in that way. You were sure he had plenty of other girls to think about. You blushed and tucked a loose stand of hair behind your ear. ‘Erm ok, Roger truth or dare?’ you asked nervously, looking at the floor. ‘I’m not a pussy, so dare’ he said confidently. ‘Ok I guess... take of your shirt?’ you suggested. He didn’t have to be told twice and quickly and swiftly removed his shirt to reveal his toned abs and slightly visible v line. Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt an ever so slight stir in your downstairs lady friend.

‘Like what you see princess?’ he slurred, leaning in slightly. You rolled your eyes and huffed. ‘Right. My turn now’ declared Brian. ‘y/n truth or dare?’

‘Dare’ you said, making brief eye contact with Brian. ‘I dare you to get completely naked’. Your eyes widened in suprise and you looked back at Roger. ‘You don’t hav...’ Brian began before you stood up and began to remove your clothes one by one, until you were entirely naked. Brian and Roger coudn’t take their eyes off you.

As the game progressed through the night and you all slowly got more drunk, you had already given Brian a blowjob, kissed Roger and gave both of them a lap dance. Now you had reached the point of no return. Roger pulled you into a deep, rough kiss (the boys were also both naked by now) and felt his hands move all over your body, feeling your boobs and squeezing your bum. Brian moved behind you as you straddled Roger and kissed your neck, leaving marks behind to make sure you woudnt forget who had done this to you when you woke up tomorrow. I’m between moans, you spluttered out ‘I dare you both to f...fuck me. At the same time’ you giggled from the alcahol and began to lightly grind against Roger, earning a deep and sexy moan. You got up from Roger’s lap and turned to shove your tongue in Brian’s mouth, pulling his soft hair and massaging his cock with your hand. God they were both so hot.

Brian lifted you up with ease and sat up on the couch without breaking the kiss. ‘You sure baby?’ he hoarsely whispered in your ear. You nodded and bit your lip before gently sinking onto his enormous cock. You screamed from the pleasure and but down on his shoulder to stop you from waking up the neighbours. Roger moved in behind you kissed your neck, making you shudder. ‘Lube... in... draw’ you managed to say while pointing to the kitchen draw.

As Brian began slowly thrusting into you as you adjusted to the size you felt slick fingers enter your other hole, causing you to arch your back against Brian. ‘Shh baby, if you want us both inside you your going to have to be more quiet then that’ Roger spoke as he fingered you, sending shivers up your spine. Suddenly Brian pulled out. You whelped at the loss of pleasure and tried to hump him to get your release. ‘No baby, I want to try the other hole’ he spoke. You whined and pulled Roger towards you, climbing onto him and immediately fucking him. ‘Holy fuck y/n, that feels amazing your so tight. Shit’ Roger moaned hoarsely as you moved your hips against his. Just as you started to get a good speed, you felt Braian enter your second hole from behind.

‘FUCK BRIAN HOLY FUCK’ you screamed only to earn Brian’s hand on your mouth, muffling your screams. ‘You ok?’ both the boys asked as your eyes rolled back at the feeling of being completely filled. You nodded desperately. As soon as they both began to thrust you lost it. You were in ecstasy. With each thrust you felt yourself get closer and closer to your orgasm, and after a few strong thrusts from Brian and both the boys cumming inside you and filling you up with hot white cum, you felt the built up please release all at once in an explosion as Roger whispers ‘come for me princess’ into your ear. His voice alone could make you finish.

As they pull out, you collapse onto the coach, breathless. But luckily for you, that wasn’t the end. ‘I dare you... to kiss.. eachother’ you panted, biting your lip and looking between them as they got up and looked at eachother. You knew you woudnt get away with this normally, but they were both pissed. Roger ran his hand through his hair and Brian bit his lip. They kissed, to your suprise, very gently. Their bodies pressed up against eachother, panting and holding each other’s faces. They pulled apart eventually after a few hot minutes and looked at you, blushing. ‘Thank you y/n’ Brian said as collapsed onto the couch next to you and closed his eyes. ‘Yeah, thanks beautiful’ Roger said as he fell on the other side of you, wrapping his arms around your waist. ‘For what?’ you laughed, closing your eyes and smiling. ‘For giving us the best night I think we’ve ever had’ said Brian. The three of you soon fell asleep in eachother’s arms.

[ffangirlingsince2001]

End of the Tunnel: XII

Description: It’s almost been a year since Freed Weasley was lost to the Battle of Hogwarts, and for George Weasley it might as well be an eternity. He is lost in the dark, no color to be found. Until suddenly there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Warnings: Today is nothing but fluff my dears, if you’ve read this far you deserve it.

MASTERLIST

***

Ron and Hermione’s wedding came two months later.

While some may have assumed it was because the young love birds couldn’t wait to get married, the rest of the Weasley offspring knew it was all about avoiding Mrs. Weasley’s love of overplanning.

George was helping his brothers hoist the tent, just as they had done for Bill two years before, and Hannah, upon Hermione’s request, was speaking to the Grangers. When she had first approached them, they had been nervous, and then relieved when she slipped in the small detail about her blood. It seemed Hermione didn’t have a lot of family, and had Hannah not been there, they would have been the only muggles in attendance. Truly, a daunting prospect.

Eventually the vanished to get ready for the ceremony, and their seats were replaced by the ever-radiant Fleur Delacour. Until that moment Hannah had only heard stories about George’s sister-in-law but there was no time to stare in speechless awe. Never one to be rude, Hannah introduced herself.

“Hannah Gladdis.”

“Oh yes, I know you,” Fleur said, “You’re my next sister-in-law, yes?” Hannah could only blink in shock. “You are with George, no?”

“Yes, yes, I’m with George, I just didn’t know people thought we were engaged.”

“Are you not?”

“No, we’re not.”

“In time.”

“I’m not sure about that, I’m not sure his mother likes me much,” she admitted awkwardly, and Fleur let out a soft laugh before taking her hands with her own.

“It does not matter if his mother likes you, it does not matter if his sister or his brothers like you, it does not even matter if his great aunt Muriel likes you. Does George love you?”

“Yes, yes I think so.”

“Do you love him?”

“With every bit of me.”

“Then you will marry him.”

“But-.”

“They called me Phlegm.”

“What?”

“His sister called me Phlegm. Hermione said it too. Even his mother let it slip a few times. And yet I remain.”

“That’s terrible.”

“It is life, and it is how I know that it does not matter if they all hate you. It does not matter if you are a muggle. It does not matter if you are part goblin.  If George loves you half as much as Bill loves me, you will marry him.” Hannah stared at her, swelling with her assurance. She let her eyes wander to George, dressed in his best suit as he chased a small toddler waddling across the lawn, sighing softly. “I look forward to your wedding, Hannah,” she said, standing, smoothing out the red satin of her dress before joining her husband close to the front row. Hannah watched as she pulled her child onto her lap, kissing the white tufts of hair with incredible fondness. Bill wrapped an arm around his wife and Hannah smiled, they were a perfect portrait of love, one that she couldn’t help but feel a tinge envious of.

The envy couldn’t last long though, not when George appeared, having given up his chase.

“Fleur wasn’t scaring you away, was she?” he joked, and Hannah quickly shook her head.

“Definitely not.”

“Good, wouldn’t want my family fighting.” They both blushed at his choice of words but said nothing as he linked their fingers together pulling her towards their seats. As they sat his hand found knee and gently tilted them closer.

They sat in comfortable silence as the chairs filled up around them. Sloane and Draco slipped into seats beside them, maintaining their invitation from a drunk Ron. Draco hadn’t been sure about coming, but Sloane had insisted, she wasn’t going to miss the marriage of two war heroes. The unlikely group didn’t say much as the final seats filled, and the pianist struck the first note of a classical song Hannah didn’t recognize.

The senior Weasley’s began the procession, dressed to the tee. Hermione didn’t have any siblings and Ron had too many to choose from, so they had forgone the mess of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Mrs. Granger came next, escorted by Harry, joyful tears already streaming down her face.

Then, in unison, the crowds stood, turning to watch as Hermione stepped into view. Hannah was unable to contain the gasp that slipped from her lips. Hermione looked like a fairytale as she stepped down the aisle, father guiding her towards the altar. There was no glitz and glam, no lace, only the softest white crepe but the simplicity of the dress only allowed her radiance to shine brighter. Someone had placed white flowers through her French twist and a simple veil hung over her eyes.

At the end of the aisle, Ron was bright red, eyes glossy as she approached him. He was wringing his hands nervously, subtly bouncing on his toes.

When she reached the altar, the vows began. George took her hand as they listened, running his thumb thoughtfully along the back of her hand. The vows moved quickly and when the officiant announced ‘you may kiss the bride’ Ron grabbed her, surprising both her and the audience by dipping her before melding their lips together. The crowd burst into applause, George hooting beside her as the two kissed for longer than anyone thought Hermione would have allowed.

The reception began instantly, Hannah watching in awe as the chairs turned into tables with the flick of a wand. A wonderful dance floor was situated in the center, soft golden lights turning beautiful patterns across the floor. Hermione had tried to explain how she had managed them a few days ago, but Hannah had left feeling only more confused than before, so she simply stared in awe.

The glasses were never empty, and the food was delicious. The conversation was never dull, and everyone was filled with overwhelming joy. Even when the cake tipped over in an incident involving Crookshanks, a garden gnome, and Harry smiles remained bright and cheery. Hannah recognized several people who had visited her bar, and they came over to say hello, surprised that she was there and promising that they would be stopping by to get another round of her firewhiskey. George recognized several more, introducing her to everyone who stopped to say hello.

The bride and groom were making rounds to the table when they stopped in front of their table.

“You look beautiful,” Hannah gushed, pulling her into a spare seat. Hermione blushed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“And of course, the ceremony was lovely, but you really know how to throw a party,” Sloane added.

“Oh, the party was all Ron, he’s rather good at planning when he sets his mind to it,” she admitted, twitterpation evident across her face. “I’m just surprised there’s no reporters trying to crash, we were getting requests all week. Of course, we told them no, but that hasn’t stopped them trying before.”

“Oh, that would be my fault,” Sloane admitted.

“Tell me all your secrets.”

“I signed it as mine. Anyone who comes around will be informed that I have claim on the story.”

“And they listen?”

“Oh yes, you’ll find I’m rather persuasive,” she said with an almost evil smile, “I’m not reporting either, but I thought you might prefer a bit of peace on your wedding day.” Hermione embraced her, thanking her repeatedly. Sloane only responded with a lopsided grin.

“The story’s yours,” Hermione promised, “Say whatever you like, and you tell the paper if they ever want anything the Weasley-Grangers won’t talk to anyone but you.” Now it was Sloane’s turn to hug her, both girls squealing ‘thank you’s as Hannah laughed. Hermione thanked their group one more time as Ron led her away, shining brighter than a new penny as he paraded around his beautiful wife.

George kissed her forehead before searching for his mum, and Sloane and Draco went to dance, leaving Hannah with a moment of silence.

A slow song filled the tent as the first dance began. Hannah watched as Ron twirled Hermione around the dance floor with unexpected grace from the gawky man she had seen trip over dust mites. Slowly, other couples joined them, and she looked around for George, hoping to earn her own dance, but he had disappeared.

“Could I steal a dance before my brother comes back,” a deep voice asked and when she turned, she was surprised to see Bill standing in front of her, a hand extended. She glanced around for Fleur, to ask permission, but she was nowhere to be found either. “It’s alright, she suggested it,” Bill said, and her worries disappeared, taking his hand as he led her to the dance floor. He spun her quickly into the correct position as they moved around their space on the dance floor.

“We’ll be lucky to have you in the family,” he said, and she blushed, laughing softly at his admission.

“Your wife said something similar earlier this afternoon.”

“I know, that’s why she sent me.”

“Oh?”

“We’re all glad you’re here, my mother especially. She raves about you to our father when she thinks no one’s listening, and when you left after Sunday dinner, she was a blubbering mess. You gave her hope, so if for a second you’re ever worried that someone doesn’t like you, I want you to remember that.” A tear slipped down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away.

“I’m just not… the same.”

“Neither is George.”

“But I don’t know if he’s going to propose, and I don’t want to get my hopes up,” Hannah admitted, eyes flickering to her empty ring finger.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and if that’s not unconditional love I’m not sure what is.” She blushed, eyes blurring a bit more.

“Do you really think so?”

“I know so. Speaking of, here he comes now,” Bill said before spinning her into the arms of her beloved boyfriend. He caught her with ease, adding a spin of his own before clasping her between his arms. When she glanced back to thank his brother, she found him already holding his wife as they swayed.

“Enjoying yourself?” George asked and she nodded.

“I am.”

“Wonderful, otherwise I’d have to fill you with more champagne.”

“Oh, I’m not sure I could handle another drop.”

“Nonsense. One can never have too much champagne.”

“I’m practically floating from all the bubbly.”

“That’s why you haven’t stepped on my toes,” he teased, and she gasped, batting his chest softly. “Only kidding, my love,” he said and then dipped her until her hair brushed the floor before sweeping her back into his arms, kissing her as he embraced her.

“I thought you didn’t dance,” she giggled breathlessly, and he shrugged.

“I’ve decided it depends on the dance partner.” He twirled her again, watching with awe as she laughed, stumbling into his chest. He pulled her close to kiss her, hand resting on her cheek. She loved kissing him, it felt like drinking sunshine and the way he held her like no one had before made her feel like a giddy schoolgirl.

“Wizard weddings are so beautiful,” she whispered, not completely meaning to say it out loud. “The decorations are next level.”

“Maybe you’ll get one of your own,” he said before his eyes widened, it was clear he too hadn’t meant to say that out loud. She giggled nervously, and in a desperate attempt to diffuse the tension he spun her around until they were laughing to hard to be nervous. They danced for hours, jumping around with friends when the violins picked up speed and swaying softly as they held each other when the music softened.

And that was how the night ended. With laughter, suggestive winks, and arms wrapped around each other until they were sure they were drunk on nothing but champagne and love.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2636

today was a pretty good day. it started out with class and talking to an SAS advisor for accommodations for classes, and i took a shower and went to pick up nick so we could head down to the con together. i learned on the way that he watched bleach?? and is familiar with the music???? which was fuckin rad for the ride down because we talked theme songs and sang along with my playlist the whole way down. i love havin my bro around. he's cool.

got in, checked in, went and grabbed badges, ran around for a while, camped out in jess's office to just chill out and wound up putting together staff folders and helping with the paperwork, ran around some more, checked in, went back to jess's office to talk to my student, was online with her for an hour or however long with her, went and had some frustration with where things were for painting fans, eventually got in the swing of it because there was a shitload of anxiety all day about it, made friends, talked to people, had a good time, cleaned up a bunch, cleaned up everything (which took two and a half hours to do), wondered in the meantime where the fuck my dinner was, sat back in jess's office when i was done, felt myself on the verge of a breakdown because it was 11pm aka my bedtime and i still hadn't eaten anything so i went to grab more things from con ops, and then went to the green room and had a breakdown in the corner behind the bar. kianna sat with me while i cried and told her about my predicament, but all things considered, only one person didn't get food, so statistically speaking that's good. it just sucked that it was me, who is alone staffing crafts, who also has a tendency to not eat ever, that it was who didn't get food. so.

kianna grabbed me things to munch while i calmed down and i was really appreciative of her thoughtfulness and consideration, and having someone i was familiar with and comfortable with being the person i needed to talk to made it a lot easier to go in and say "hello i require sustenance," unlike last time, when i didn't even know where the green room was until the night before it was over. the same thing happened then, too. i guess it's just always me. i should plan for it next time.

sigh.

anyway, i hung out with kianna and company for a couple hours and then came back to the room where i chatted with dean for half an hour or so until joel came in, and now he's resting next to me and the poor angel is so tired. i just adore him. i'm glad he's helping run this shit because i could never. thank you, love.

oh! i also made a new best friend today! he's our artist, who does all of the art for the con year after year. he sent a message to jess later in the day asking, "is my new best friend one of lisa's kids??" i laughed so hard.

overall, con good. me hungy, but all good. i hav breb.

[writethehousedown]

Things Are Really Cool (In Nazareth) (Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: wow hi, welcome to whatever the hell this is? this is a sort of a kind of a n19f verse/masp verse crossover set some years after the originals take place (but you don’t need to have read either to read this), borne out of the semi-autobiographical experience of my last few weeks at work trying to teach five year olds mid-pandemic. basically Nina’s a stressed primary teacher and Monet is her primary teacher girlfriend. this is fulfilling the prompt “Nice” only ten days late and also probably has one million and one typos in my haste to get it out in time for at least Christmas xo regardless, i hope u all enjoy and in the words of boyband JLS, “mewwy cwistmas”.

disclaimer: there are a couple of lines i’ve yoinked out of tv shows here- “lesbian having a panic attack” is adapted from Kimmy Schmidt and the “what are you, forty?” ones are from Always Sunny. leave me alone i’m too tired to be funny at this time of year xo

fic summary: When Nina’s headteacher asks her to pull a Nativity play out of thin air with only a week to organise it, Nina is simply too nice to say no. As a consequence, she is blindly oblivious to what her girlfriend Monet is planning, with useless lesbian results.

Nina knew she was a people pleaser. Always had been, always would be. She was simply too nice to say no to anyone. She had never been one to say no to anything.

She’d never taken the last remaining teabag for herself way back at uni; she’d always elected to leave it for Brooke or Yvie, knowing that Brooke would be grumpy all day if she didn’t have her morning cup of tea and not wanting to deal with the caffeine crash Yvie would experience if she made coffee as a substitute.

It had even started way further back in her life than her twenties. The most rebellious thing she’d ever done in high school was to pull out one of the cables of her German teacher’s computer at the back so she’d spend the whole lesson fixing it instead of teaching their class. In Primary, she was the stereotypical, insufferable goody-two-shoes: didn’t ever lose a minute of Golden Time, finished both her set tasks and the extension work that accompanied them perfectly, and was the worst kind of tell-tale.

(At the time, she thought her teachers loved that- the fact that she acted as their five-year-old corporate spy, ready to report any wrongdoings to headquarters. Contrarily, now that she was a teacher to five year olds, Nina thought that if she heard one more story about who skipped who in the line she would climb very slowly and very carefully into the staffroom microwave and blow herself into fifty million partially-heated bits.)

So when her headteacher ducked her head into her classroom on a cold, wet, rainy Wednesday after all the kids had been dispatched home, Nina panicked. Her eyes darted up to the displays on her walls. Fuck, there were still Halloween pumpkins blu-tacked up there. There was, so far, nothing on her December learning journey wall. And there were still Very Hungry Caterpillars made from bottle tops pushed into dollops of paint stuck to bright green backing paper which had been there since the kids’ first week at school back in August.

Well. Red and green were Christmassy colours. Right?

But Mrs Del Rio didn’t seem all that interested in the state of her wall displays. She’d come to ask Nina if she could film a Nativity play with her class.

“It’s for the parents really,” Bianca had rolled her eyes, folding her arms in her usual no-nonsense way. “Just something they can watch and share with the families since we can’t do a real Nativity. It doesn’t need to be anything big- just a few songs…one, two…say four. And then just have the kids in their costumes with a couple of lines. With a backdrop, y’know, there doesn’t need to be props. Just the baby Jesus…the gifts for the three Kings….maybe a couple of no vacancy signs for the innkeepers…that sort of thing. Just for before we finish up term. Maybe if it could be done by next Friday. That okay?”

And Nina, because she was a people pleaser, had nodded and said yes! and of course! and Bianca had nodded curtly at her in the frostiest thank-you the world had ever seen before leaving.

It had only taken the time in which Bianca’s heels had slowly disappeared from hearing distance for the reality of the situation to sink in for Nina. She’d just agreed to do a whole Nativity play, with songs, and costumes, and props, in the space of eight days.

She was going to be sick like little Jack had done that day he’d come into class and projectile-vomited halfway onto the carpet and halfway into Nina’s outstretched hands.

Nina was so consumed by the all-encompassing panic that she didn’t even flinch when there was a loud, jaunty knock at her classroom door.

“High Court Enforcement,” came a loud, brash voice, Nina finally turning to see who was there with glazed eyes. Willam leant against the doorframe, her messy blonde waves falling over the shoulders of her dark blue jumper like curly vines. She was the only teacher who could match the sass levels of the Year 6s and was a colleague that Nina both loved and feared. Loved because she was straight-talking and blunt and altogether hilarious, but feared because her girlfriend was the deputy head of the school and anything Nina said to her would definitely be reported back as gossip.

Also because she was, for all intents and purposes, a pint-pot riot.

“Nina. Nina. Nina,” Willam said repeatedly, her voice monotone and her persistence irritating. Nina mumbled something out.

“What?”

Nina raked her hands through her shock of frizzy blonde curls and sighed, her stress levels already rising. “I said I’m a lesbian having a panic attack.”

“Oh, that’s a mood. I was sent round to do the collection for the support staff but I’ve already spent forty minutes chatting to Alyssa instead of doing what I was asked. Got a grand total of a fiver so far,” Willam shrugged blithely, coming into Nina’s classroom and perching on one of the tiny munchkin-sized tables. “What’s up?”

The pressure-cooker that her mind was rapidly becoming told Nina to throw caution to the wind and vent, so she told Willam everything in a series of babbles barely comprehensible in the English language.

“So you’ve just agreed to doing a full Nativity video in the space of a week?” Willam cocked her head, pulling a confused face. “Why didn’t you just tell Bianca to fuck off?”

Nina paused, feeling all her panic momentarily leave her body as she fixed Willam with a glare. “Are you expecting me to answer that?”

“No, no. Shit, wouldn’t it have been amazing if you had, though? What d’you think would’ve happened? Maybe she’d’ve shouted so loud at you her lungs would’ve just exploded.”

Nina couldn’t help but blurt out a small laugh. “That’s way too dramatic. She wouldn’t even fire me on the spot because that would mean management having to go in and cover my class tomorrow while they tried to find my replacement.”

Nina regretted the small barb at their management team as soon as it was out, but Willam seemed nonplussed.

“Yeah. Court’s way too impatient to deal with your lil’ rugrats.”

“I’m too impatient to deal with them. I’m too impatient to deal with them on a day to day basis. How I’m going to teach them four Christmas songs in the space of a week, fuck knows.”

Willam cocked her head again, her smile becoming patient. “Well if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

Willam’s words were a small source of comfort to Nina. Suddenly everything seemed doable. She matched her colleague’s smile, glad she’d arrived in that moment. “Thanks, Willam.”

As soon as her words were out, she saw the small, playful twinkle in Willam’s eye. “Because nobody else would’ve been mad enough to agree to the damn thing.”

***

Getting her class sorted and organised for the day couldn’t really be likened to herding cats. No, this process was far more chaotic than that. At half past nine each day what could only be described as a minor tsunami of children hit Nina’s classroom: throwing their jackets into the designated tubs with wild abandon and subsequently knocking anything and everything off her adjacent desk, unloading every possible snack in their lunchboxes into their trays and Nina’s pleas for them to only take one snack out falling on deaf ears, spilling their water bottles and getting the zips on their jackets stuck and wanting to tell Nina a billion and one things that seemed to have happened in the 18 hours they had spent outwith her care.

During the month of December this chaos only intensified. Hats, scarves and gloves littered the classroom floor as they fell off the kids like baubles off a dead Christmas tree, shrieks filled the air as they discovered a new chocolate in the advent calendar, and at least half the class surrounded Nina like festive zombies as they all battled to win the competition of “Who can tell Miss West about what their elf on the shelf had got up to overnight the loudest”.  

Nina hammered the little bell she kept on her desk with the palm of her hand, stress levels already rising. “Okay, Reception! Jackets in tubs, snacks in trays and bums on carpet!”

As her class giggled about their teacher’s use of the word “bum”, Nina sat down in her wheely chair and waited for them all to join her on the little strip of carpet in front of her smartboard. It was moments like these where she’d be hit with a sort of out of body experience; she was someone’s teacher, she was this class’ first teacher. She was sitting in front of her class waiting to take the register and start their day. It was slightly overwhelming, even though she’d been doing the job for a number of years now.

Eventually her kids were all organised and she’d taken the register and made sure they all had a lunch to eat that day. Nina made sure to put on her best excited face as she prepared to tell them about the Nativity.

“Right, Reception!” she said, injecting lots of mystery into her voice like a storyteller. “I have got some very exciting news for you all today!”

Their little faces all grew equally excited as they were expectant, and Nina’s heart almost popped. Just then, Harry, a boy with enough gel in his hair to single-handedly keep Brylcreem in business for a year and huge bottle-top glasses’ hand went up.

“Yes, Harry?”

The boy bounced on the carpet, incredibly eager. “Can I tell you what my elf did last night?”

Ten more hands immediately shot up, and Nina’s heart sank. Great.

But she was still teaching four and five year olds and this was truly the most important thing in their little lives, so she fixed a bright smile on her face and tilted her head inquisitively. “What did your elf do?”

Harry was now sitting on his knees, towering over the other children and threatening to knock himself over with every passing second as he swayed in the nonexistent breeze. “He did a poop in my Dad’s shoes!”

The rest of the class shrieked with laughter in response. Internally, Nina was rapidly reaching her wit’s end. Love it. A bit of toilet humour to start off the Nativity rehearsals. Great. Exactly what’s needed. “Oh my goodness! What a cheeky elf!”

“He did three poops! And you know what else? They were cola jellybeans! I ate them!”

Sophie, a girl with long ginger hair in a low ponytail and a gap in her smile where two baby teeth once lived, gasped in horror. “You ate the elf’s poop?!”

The rest of the class fell about laughing. Nina had to get control back of the situation.

“Well thank you very much for sharing, Harry! Okay everyone, let’s pop our hands down.”

There were still ten hands waving proudly in the air like rebellious flags.

“We can do more elf stories at the end of the day if there’s time!” Nina lied. There would not be time. There was never time. But it placated most of her class enough for them to follow the instruction. There was, however, one remaining hand up which belonged to Jason, a boy with hair so platinum blonde it seemed otherworldly.

“It’s not an elf story! I’ve got a question,” he insisted, shouting out despite the fact his hand was already up. Nina relented, just in case he did have something important to ask. Maybe he was about to pee himself. Highly likely with the Reception kids.

Jason, pleased as punch that Nina was allowing him to speak, put his hand down. “Can I tell you a rhyming word I’ve just thought of?”

Nina’s smile grew all the more gritted, and the muscles in her face all the more tense. This was going to be the longest week she had experienced in living memory.

***

Nina would never get tired of living with Monet. The sound of her singing as the shower provided a backing track, the unholy racket she seemed to make when she cooked (a symphony of swearing, the banging of kitchen utensils, and the clattering of saucepans and baking trays). The smell of the Dior Sauvage she used instead of perfume and the Cantu hair custard she combed through her hair after she washed it. The fact that Nina could get a cuddle from her any time she wanted and the soft squash of her arms around her.

But living with Monet was best at Christmastime. The endless arguments they got into about their Christmas decorations and what looked best where, both stemming from a fierce loyalty to their own family traditions. The way they’d write their Christmas cards to their friends with a Christmas film playing in the background, and the way Monet would tease her about having such picture-perfect, font-like, primary-teacher handwriting. The way Monet would get too excited in the supermarket and load party food into Nina’s shopping basket like a child trying to sneak chocolate.

Even though Nina was completely exhausted, she still felt herself smile as she turned her key in the lock and heard her girlfriend loudly singing along with Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, paired with the blast of the extractor fan.

“Hello?” Nina sing-songed as she closed the door shut, shedding her heavy jacket and her scuffed trainers and her backpack full of jotters that had been haphazardly stuffed in as she left work.

“Hello!” Monet chirped back, in what had become their tradition since moving in together all those years ago. “Your timing’s perfect, I just finished dinner.”

“Ooh. What is for dinner?”

Monet gestured to the pile of grated cheese, pan of bubbling baked beans, and loaf of white bread. “Beans on toast.”

Nina snorted and leaned against the counter. “Wow, don’t I have the most perfect domestic housewife! That must’ve taken, what…two hours?”

Monet reached over and squeezed her side, eliciting a yelp that would probably give their downstairs neighbours the wrong idea. “Shady bitch. It’s this or two rice cakes that’ve been in the cupboard for so long I swear they’re turning fossilised.”

“No, I’m kidding. Of course I’m hungry, thanks hun. I’ll make dinner tomorrow,” Nina promised, sliding into one of their second-hand wooden dining chairs as Monet plated up.

“No you won’t,” Monet frowned. “You look dead. What’re your kids doing to you, beating you with their tiny little chairs?”

“The fucking Nativity,” Nina sighed, pausing to thank Monet as she placed two slices of golden toast covered with beans and flakes of grated cheese down in front of her. Admittedly it did look like absolute heaven.

“Have you told Bianca to piss off yet?” Monet scowled, stabbing her toast so hard she threatened to break the plate in two.

“What kind of fantasy-land school do you work at where you can tell your headteacher to piss off and she actually listens?” Nina cocked an eyebrow at her, and Monet shrugged in agreement as she chewed a mouthful. “No, of course not. I’m going to make it happen, though, even if it kills me. We started learning the songs today, which you would think was a simple enough endeavour. Except my class, who usually can’t shut up if their lives depend on it, have all the singing volume and skill of one of Yvie and Scarlet’s cat’s chew toys. They don’t even sound like cats being strangled, that’d probably be louder. It’s like trying to have a sing-song with a room full of laryngitis patients. Except it’s not a room, because apparently we’re not allowed to sing inside because of covid. But I can teach Phonics and the kids can all make the ‘p’ sound at me until their hearts’ content and shower me with their spit like the world’s shittiest production of Singin’ In The Rain? Anyway, we have to rehearse outside. In December. I think my feet actually fell off.”

As Nina finally finished what had unintentionally become a fully-fledged rant, Monet attempted to compose herself as she wiped away a small tear of laughter from her eye and clutched at her belly. Nina watched as her girlfriend took a few deep breaths, then fixed her with a humoured grin. “But apart from all that, how was your day?”

Nina stuck her tongue out at her in response. “Shut up. How was yours?”

Monet rolled her eyes as she speared a bean. “Awful. Tried to assess time with my class today. God I love them, Neens, but they’re so bad, how can they be that bad?”

“If anyone can help them progress, it’s you,” Nina smiled encouragingly, only getting a shaken head in reply.

“No, I can’t. Nobody can. They’re beyond help. Some of the answers I got today wouldn’t even be believable if they were part of some TV comedy show. What month is Christmas in? ‘Santa’. The kid answered Santa. How many months are there in a year? ‘Sixty six’. How many days are there in a week? ‘Two’. TWO!” Monet cried, outraged. Nina couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up in her throat, and Monet pointed warningly at her in response. “Don’t you dare laugh. This is my reality.”

“Hey, you laughed at my Nativity nightmare!” Nina giggled, to which Monet chuckled guiltily. Nina paused to swipe a bit of toast around the plate with her fork, mopping up any stray tomato sauce. When she looked up from her plate, she saw Monet tapping at her phone. Nina frowned disapprovingly. “Hey. No phones at the table.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Monet apologised quickly, though didn’t put her phone down yet. “Monique’s just sent me a screenshot of her friend that’s getting engaged. Look at the damn size of this ring.”

Monet turned her phone to show Nina. Pictured was a diamond the size of a small Pacific nation and a band encrusted with tiny gems on the finger of somebody she’d never met. Nina couldn’t help the way she screwed her face up, which made Monet blurt a laugh in response. “Not a fan, then?”

Nina pulled a face in thought. She was sure that kind of ring made some girls happy, but to her it just seemed tacky and over-the-top, not to mention heavy. “I’m sure she likes it, but I wouldn’t want something that huge. Imagine working in a Reception class with that?! Play-dough stuck in all the little crevices. And Jesus, what if you lost it? Nah, it would stress me out owning that. I would just want one simple little gold band and one singular tiny diamond. Much less of a burden.”

Monet snorted a laugh as she finished her last mouthful of dinner. “You are the only girl I’ve ever met that would consider an engagement ring a burden. Christ on a crucifix.”

“Well!” Nina protested, before realising she didn’t really have anything else to defend herself with. Then, she narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend playfully, kicking her under the table. “Why’re you so interested in my engagement ring opinions, anyway? You asking?”

Monet chuckled as she put her phone face-down on the table. “Bold of you to assume I can afford council tax, never mind a diamond.”

Nina smiled, shrugging in agreement. “Yeah, fair. What should we do tonight? I have Maths jotters to mark but then that’s me done.”

Monet tilted her head, her expression thoughtful. “I would say fucking our shit days out but I don’t even have the energy to operate a vibrator.”

Nina almost choked on her food as she laughed. “Christ, that’s a mood. Finish dinner, pyjamas, rewatch The Office for the ninety billionth time then bed at 7pm?”

“Sounds good, babe,” Monet smiled, lifting her glass of water up to cheers with as if it was sparkling wine.

***

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! Oh McFun it is to ride in a waffle sofen sleigh, HEY! Jingle bells, Jin-”

“Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah,” Nina cut in, waving her hands frantically and stopping the twenty-three five and four year olds that had previously been singing their little kidney bean-sized lungs out. “What are the words?”

Her class stared back at her as if she’d just asked her what twenty-eight times thirteen was. Although Jeremiah, who was already working at Year 5 level, could probably have worked that out given enough time.

“Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh,” Nina said, rhythmically and clearly. “You try.”

The children all parroted it back to her in their little voices, word-perfect. Thank God, thought Nina. Jingle Bells seemed to be the only song they recognised, so if they turned out to not know it after all then Nina would very probably need an inhaler despite the fact she wasn’t at all asthmatic.

“Let’s try it with the music!” Nina said cheerfully, making sure the bluetooth speaker she’d brought outside was still on.

“Miss West,” a small voice piped up belonging to Amber, the human embodiment of a whine. “I’m cold!”

“We’ll get inside soon!” Nina replied patiently. “Just let’s practise it one more time!”

“I’m cold too,” piped up Joshua, Amber’s male counterpart.

“I’m freezing,” Amber offered again.

“I know, it’s very cold outside!” Nina smiled sympathetically, even though her teeth were gritted. “But we can’t do our singing inside because of the virus!”

“Why not?” Amber pouted.

Nina didn’t really know. The answer was because of the care inspectorate guidelines, but that was incredibly far beyond the realms of a five-year-old’s comprehension. Just then, an idea struck her.

“Well we need to sing our songs outside so that Santa can hear them when he’s taking his sleigh out for a test drive!” she said animatedly. The wide eyes and ohhhh-s she received in reply made her feel like a genius. Move over, Steven Hawking. “Okay, one more time with Jingle Bells. Nice and loud for Santa!”

“Miss West?”

Nina blinked slowly and heavily, taking a small breath before answering the newest child that demanded her attention. “Yes, Sophie?”

“I’m cold.”

“I’m cold!! We’re all cold!!” Nina replied quickly, just that shade away from snapping so that her class knew she meant business. “We’re doing the song one more time and then we’re going inside! So nice big smiles, nice loud voices, and here…we…go!”

Nina pressed play on the song before any more children could regale her with tales of how their body temperatures had dropped to that of a snowman’s.

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!” they all enthusiastically sang. “Oh McFun it is to ride in a waffle sofen sleigh!”

Nina rubbed so hard at her tired eyes that she thought they might disappear into her skull. She was momentarily glad of the fact that she didn’t have a teaching assistant to help her, as to have any other adult witness this would be embarrassing in the extreme.

Just then she noticed around five parents queued up at the nursery adjacent to the playground, watching with wry smiles on their faces as they waited for their children.

“One more time!” Nina cried, as she stopped the music with freezing cold hands.

***

“So Nina, when you gonna wife your girlfriend?”

Nina very nearly spat out her tea, a horrifying milky brown hurricane only just avoided. She hadn’t been expecting to answer deep, meaningful life questions in the staffroom during a lunch hour, but Willam was the human incarnation of petrol on a campfire and with her around things were always in danger of going from zero to a hundred very quickly. To Nina’s relief Courtney was also in the staffroom, and she whipped around from the countertop and gave her girlfriend daggers.

“Willam!” Courtney chastised her in a hiss that Nina wasn’t quite sure was meant to be audible. Willam only gave her an incredulous glare, affronted that she seemed to be the voice of reason in the conversational chaos.

“What?! Just askin’. I mean you’re what…twenty-nine? Twenty eight?”

“Twenty-six,” Nina replied. She was now at the age where being assumed she was older than she was was a curse, not a blessing. (If she’d told seventeen-year-old Nina that one day she would be disappointed at no longer being ID’d for wine at Sainsburys she’d have laughed in her face.)

“Exactly. That’s wifeing age. Mid to late twenties.”

“Hey, I passed that stage long ago, where the hell’s my ring?“ Courtney asked Willam, stirring the coffee she’d poured into one of the many, many “World’s Best Teacher!” mugs that littered the staffroom cupboards. Willam responded by turning around in her chair and positioning her pencil skirt-clad ass in the air.

“Right here, bitch!”

“Christ Almighty,” Courtney turned away from her, rolling her eyes so hard they looked like little spheric dice. As Willam gave her best impression of a seal on laughing gas, Nina cast her eyes over to Sasha who was sitting at the other end of the staffroom. As they caught each others’ eyes they shared a long-suffering smile that mourned the death of peace and quiet.

Nina was glad the conversation had been diverted from the subject of her perceived lack of marriage plans. Until Sasha opened her mouth, that is.

“I wouldn’t worry, Nina. Me and Shea haven’t had that conversation either. I mean we’d both love to, but there’s more important stuff for us right now, you know? We’re saving for a house and I think we’d rather live in a place we’ve chosen for the foreseeable future than just having one singular big lavish day.”

“It’s all about what you want to do with the person you love the most, isn’t it? Not just doing what society wants you to do,” Courtney chipped in, her voice warm and kind. “Like me and Willam used to be total party girls before we got our shit together. And now, like…there’s nothing I’d rather do of a weekend than curl up with her on the sofa and get all cosy with a film and a blanket and a cup of tea.”

Willam scoffed affectionately. “That’s your ideal weekend plan? What are you, forty?”

“Yes? As are you?” Courtney replied incredulously. Nina heard Sasha snort in her chair. As she turned her gaze back to the other two girls she realised that Willam was still looking at her expectantly. Nina sank back into her seat, a little reserved.

“It’s not really something we’ve spoken about? Well…no, we have spoken about it, obviously,” she babbled, watching as Willam took on the look of someone witnessing a victim of cardiac arrest. “Like we both want to get married. To each other, of course. But teaching is just such a busy job all the time and…you know, we only bought our flat last Summer and…I don’t know, it’s nice not to have everything happen all at once, right?”

Courtney nodded emphatically in agreement. “Of course! And I mean, if she asked, you’d say yes, right?”

Nina had to stop herself from pulling a face. How am I having this conversation with my boss? “Well, yeah. God, I couldn’t imagine life without her at all.”

Willam pretended to gag, which Nina thought was pretty rich from the woman who had begun the entire conversation. Courtney seemed to pick up on her girlfriend’s distaste.

“I don’t think Willam has ever said anything that cute about me!”

Willam turned around to look at her girlfriend, disbelief on her face. “Yeah, I only left my damn husband for you. Fuck me, right?”

Nina’s eyes widened as Sasha gave a yelp from across the staffroom. That was a small piece of workplace gossip she hadn’t expected to learn today. As Courtney’s face turned red and she shot Willam a warning glare, she turned to Nina once more.

“Nina, how’s the Nativity going?” Courtney beamed artificially at her, moving the conversation along with all the grace and decorum of a one-wheeled snow plow.

Considering the question, Nina thought that she’d rather be discussing marriage plans with her boss and colleagues again. “It’s going.”

“That’s a ringing endorsement. I’m sure that was on the poster of Titanic too,” Willam chipped in.

“It wouldn’t be any less disastrous than the actual fate of the Titanic, at least the passengers could’ve probably remembered the words to fucking Jingle Bells,” Nina deadpanned, causing Willam to break into fits of clubbed seal laughter.

Sasha pouted sympathetically from the other side of the room. “It’s those cute bits that the parents love, though, isn’t it? They won’t mind if they get the words wrong.”

“I’m sure there needs to be a foundation of at least an audible tune though, Sash,” Nina smiled resignedly back at her.

“If Bianca wants a Nativity so bad, just tell her to come teach your class,” Willam half-suggested, half-yelled. “Or get Court to teach them! They prolly don’t need to be in tune anyway!”

Courtney’s expression appeared to be the same as Nina’s after her morning’s rehearsal. “Do you ever stop talking shit?”

“You think I’m bad? That bell is going to go for the Comp’s lunch break in five minutes, Bob is gonna arrive, an’ then it’s RIP our eardrums,” Willam said, pointing to the staffroom door for dramatic effect.

“At least Bob has never presented his clothed arsehole to his partner in front of his colleagues,” Courtney cut in at once, her tone deadpan and making Nina splutter a laugh.

“Aw, c’mon Court! That’s just banter. These girls don’t mind.”

“It’s unprofessional!” Courtney clutched her chest. Willam only snorted in response.

“Unprofessional? What are you, forty?”

“We’re the same age!!” Courtney cried in response, her incredulous tone only setting Nina off in a further fit of laughter.

It was only later on that night once she had driven back home, parked, and approached her and Monet’s flat that Nina remembered the staffroom conversation. She cast her gaze up to their first-floor window in their red brick building, almost being able to feel the way her heart gave a swell at the sight of their Christmas tree framed proudly within the glass. And as she got in through the front door, Monet greeted her with a hug and a takeaway leaflet.

“We’ve got nothing in the fridge, so I thought we could get noodles? This came through the door today and I think-” Monet raises her eyebrows, slapped the leaflet into the palm of her hand decisively. “- it’s a sign from God.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Nina laughed, shrugging off her coat and feeling grateful for not having to cook.

It was only when they were both curled up on the couch, empty pad thai containers in front of them, that Nina turned to Monet and saw the lights on the tree reflected in her eyes. She turned to her girlfriend, threw an arm round her and snuggled in to her side.

“What’s up?” Monet asked, her voice soft and sleepy and a little concerned.

“Nothing,” Nina sighed. It was true. There wasn’t really anything up, and she was the happiest she’d ever been. But she still turned to Monet, tilting her head up inquisitively. “You don’t feel under any pressure at all, do you?”

Monet snorted. “I feel under pressure to get fifteen children who can’t write the word cat on their own to magically be able to write a sentence by the end of the year, yeah.”

Nina rolled her eyes. “No! I mean, like…in life. You didn’t just…buy this flat with me because you felt you had to, right? You wouldn’t do anything because you felt obliged to?”

Monet raised a single eyebrow back at her. “Yeah, I decided to piss my life savings away on a deposit for a flat because I felt I had to. Jesus Christ, Neens.”

“No, no, I know,” Nina chuckled, realising how silly the whole thing now sounded. “But I just mean…in life, like milestones and stuff. You’d never do stuff because you felt you had to keep up, in some way? Reach some goal by a certain age?”

Monet brought an arm around Nina and cuddled her closer, kissing her hair and resting her chin on top of her head. “Everything I do in life, I do because I want to. Especially when it comes to you. Promise.”

Nina gave her girlfriend a squeeze, happy. She took a deep breath, smelt the fabric softener on Monet’s jumper that they both used but just seemed to smell better and feel softer on everything Monet wore.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

Nina sat in a child-sized chair with her knees practically up to her chest, a crumpled, printed-out script on her lap that she’d hastily typed up on her work iPad’s notes app the following evening. Her class sat behind her in costumes pulled on over their school uniforms, with books and pens and pieces of paper with botched photocopying on the back under strict instructions not to talk until the whole thing was filmed.

“Okay, Amber!” she smiled breezily at the small girl whose school blouse was sticking out under her angel costume. “You’re kicking off the video. So your line is two thousand years ago, an angel came to a woman called Mary. Practise it for me?”

Amber gripped the hem of her taffeta skirt in two tiny white-knucked fists. “I don’t want to.”

Nina bit her lip. Great start. Fantastic. “We can give it a try together?”

Reluctantly, Amber parroted the words in tandem with her. So far so good.

“Okay. Now do you want to go up against the backdrop and I can film you doing it?”

Amber’s ponytail full of flyaways swung wildly as she shook her head. Nina thought for a moment. Then her eyes came to rest on Hazel- the class’ Mary and, coincidentally, Amber’s best friend.

“What about if Hazel stands with you?”

That seemed to change things and, only slightly hesitantly, both girls got up in front of the hastily staple-gunned silver tinsel.

“Okay Amber. Two thousand years ago, an angel came to a woman called Mary. Ready?”

A nod in reply.

“Go!”

Amber took a deep, shaky breath in. “Two thousand years ago….a woman called Mary.”

Nina stopped filming, fixed the girl with a kind smile. “An angel came to a woman called Mary. Try again?”

The iPad was back in filming mode, and Amber went again. “Two thousand years ago, a…a…a little cute angel came to Mary.”

Nina stopped filming, fixed Amber with two thumbs up. That’ll do.

Things seemed to be going well as Hazel and Oliver (or, Mary and Angel Gabriel) got through their lines without too many bumps in the road. Then, it was time for Amber to take to the stage (or blue curtain with a tinsel border) once more.

“Okay Amber, so your line this time is…Mary told her husband Joseph. Want to practise?”

“Mary told her husband Joseph,” Amber repeated, with all the enthusiasm of a patient about to undergo a colonoscopy. With two days til the deadline, this would have to suffice.

“Perfect! Ready? Three…two…one…go!” Nina smiled encouragingly, as she hit record.

Amber stood beside Mary and Joseph, a little grin on her own face. “Mary told her husband Joyce.”

“…Joseph,” Nina reminded her. Where the fuck had Joyce come from? She hit record again.

“Three…two…one…go!”

“Mary told her husband Joyce.”

Nina couldn’t stop herself from bursting out laughing. “Joseph, Amber!”

The little girl nodded earnestly. “Joseph Amber.”

Nina spluttered. “No…Amber is your name. Joseph is Mary’s husband.”

“Ohhhhhh.”

Nina shook her head, amused. This was what she loved about teaching. None of the other girls working from home could say that they got to spend their day feeling like they were stuck in an episode of You’ve Been Framed.

“Go again. Mary told her husband Joseph. Three…two…one…”

“Mary told…em…um…I can’t remember,” Amber giggled. Nina could feel her own giggles bubbling up inside herself, but she had to stop otherwise it would set her whole class off.

“Mary told her husband Joseph,” Nina repeated, both Amber and Hazel now giggling to each other. “Shh shh! Okay…three…two…one…”

Amber composed herself, took a deep breath. “Mary told her husband Joyce.”

Christ Alive. Nina gasped incredulously, unable to help herself from laughing now. The whole class, Amber herself, and Nina was pretty sure God, were all doing the same. She put her head in her hands, her whole body now shaking with laughter. “Joseph!!”

She already couldn’t wait to tell everybody she knew this story. Not least so she could cement in her mind that it was something that actually happened to her, and not just simply the script of a comedy show she’d dreamed up. Miraculously, mercifully, she managed to get the rest of her class settled down and for Amber to say the correct line on film, even if Nina could be faintly heard frantically mouthing “Joseph!” in the background.

Eventually they reached the innkeepers. Easy enough, in theory.

“Okay, Carter,” Nina smiled encouragingly at the first innkeeper. “When Mary and Joseph ask for a room, you say ‘no, sorry!’. Okay?”

Carter nodded, half a finger stuck up his nose. Nina gestured to him to put his hands down, then began filming. As directed, Mary and Joseph asked if there was any room at the inn.

“YES,” the little boy shouted. The whole class burst out laughing. Nina did not.

Just then, Willam walked past the open door with her class. She gave her a look of inquisition, shooting her a tentative, questioning thumbs up.

Nina put her head in her hands in reply.

***

By some miracle of nature (although it could also have been Nina giving up on work that afternoon) Nina had made it back to the flat before five o’clock. This never happened- five pm was usually the time she left work, but a day full of recording Nativity clips and then putting them together on iMovie while her class played (read; caused havoc) had been tiring and she needed Monet, chocolate, and Merlot.

Only the first thing she heard when she opened the door to her flat wasn’t Monet singing, or the hum of the extractor fan. It was the grainy crackle of a Zoom call and an incredibly distinctive voice.

“So when you doin’ it? Do it tonight. Do it when she gets home from work.”

Monet’s voice- humoured, long-suffering. “I’m not doing it then, Vanj, she’ll be exhausted.”

“That was honestly your best suggestion? When she gets home from work?” Brooke’s voice. “Aren’t you the pinnacle of romance!”

Nina had realised that Monet was on a Zoom call with all the girls, from the way Vanessa had obviously kissed Brooke on camera was being met with half a dozen cries in protest from the others. She excitedly shrugged off her coat and unwrapped herself from her scarf, eager to see her friends again. Part of her was intrigued, though. Why were they all calling each other without her?

“My question is how you’re going to do it,” Akeria’s voice came, as questioning as always. “It needs to be good but it better not be too damn cheesy.”

“An’ you better make sure she got her nails done, she might say no if she ain’t got her nails done!” Silky came shouting through Monet’s Macbook speakers.

“Yeah, you better make it as romantic as you can, Mo,” Scarlet added, making Nina wonder what the hell it was they were all talking about. Before she could wonder any further, she heard Yvie’s distinctive snort of a laugh.

“You are in no position to speak about romance, I mean, need I remind you how you asked me?”

“Shut up,” Scarlet replied, her tone a little bashful as the other girls laughed.

“Monet I could hire you a plane if you really wanted,” Plastique offered, making Nina snort despite the fact she had no idea what the conversation was about.

“Shut up, bitch,” Nina could practically hear the roll of Akeria’s eyes.

Nina toed her shoes off and finally padded through to the kitchen, where Monet’s eyes grew wide when she saw her, her body visibly flinching.

“Hey, babe!” she smiled, looking a little startled. “You’re home earlier than usual!”

“Oh sorry, am I interrupting your Zoom call with all your side chicks?” Nina deadpanned, forcing her way onto Monet’s lap to see her friends on the screen.

“Ninaaa!!!” Vanessa’s face popped up first, her friend waving excitedly as she sat on her sofa in Brooke’s arms. “How are you, girl?”

“Shattered,” Nina sighed, rubbing her eyes harshly. “Just filmed the whole Nativity with the rugrats today. Think it took ten years off my lifespan. How’re you?”

“Good,” Brooke smiled back through the screen. “We ordered our Christmas food today. Trying to convince this one that we don’t need twelve pigs in blankets between two people.”

Vanessa scowled back at her from their position on the sofa. “Uh, yes the hell we do!”

“Twelve pigs in blankets as well as the turkey, stuffing, and all the veg? Y’all are gonna explode,” Akeria said disapprovingly.

“Kiki! How are you?” Nina cried with delight, seeing her friend’s tired but smiling face appear on screen.

“Good. Don’t stop work for a while yet, but it’s fine. Still flat hunting.”

“How’s Pri?” Nina asked, heartened by the way Akeria looked down, trying and failing to suppress a smile.

“Yeah, she’s good. Still batshit crazy. Horny all the time.”

“The ideal girlfriend, really,” Yvie said, a wry smile on her face.

“Nina!” Silky suddenly cut in, yelling. “Did you hear any of what we were talkin’ about before?”

Nina frowned, shook her head. “Something about planes and nails. And cheese. I’m too exhausted to have paid enough attention. Why, were you having a mad bitchfest about me?”

“Trying to ask the girls how best to dump you,” Monet deadpanned. Nina shot Monet a look and squeezed her leg, resulting in her girlfriend yelping and cracking her knee off the table.

Whatever the previous conversation was was soon forgotten about as excited catchups took over. Silky was excited as she was interviewing some singer that Nina had never heard of and wanted the girls to help her work out what questions she was going to ask her. Yvie and Scarlet were lamenting the fact they had to host both of their families for Christmas and had bought a turkey so big Scarlet wasn’t sure it would fit in their oven, and Plastique was telling them the weirdest things she’d been gifted by companies desperate for her to endorse them on Instagram.

“I got a box of sex toys from LoveHoney. That was probably the most random. Me and Naomi had a wild fucking night that night.”

“STOP BEIN’ GROSS,” Silky had yelled down the line, causing Nina to hammer Monet’s volume down button.

Eventually the call came to an end, but not before lots of promises to catch up soon once the situation across the world was better than the shitshow it was currently. As Monet closed her laptop, Nina threw her arms around her neck and nuzzled into her side.

“I miss them,” she sighed, and Monet patter her back comfortingly.

“I know, babe. I miss them too.”

There was a moment of pensive silence, and then Nina spoke again, the Nativity never too far away from her mind.

“I can’t export this video.”

“What?”

“The Nativity video. I can’t export it,” Nina muttered pitifully against her girlfriend’s shoulder.

Monet kissed her hair, making to stand up. “You get a cup of tea. I’ll fix your video.”

“You’re the best,” Nina sighed gratefully, walking over to the kettle.

It was only after she’d sat down with a cup of tea and Monet had promised she’d sorted her video that Nina thought about the conversation she’d walked in on earlier.

She had a strange feeling that it had something to do with her.

***

When Nina arrived at work that morning, she could tell something was…a little different. She couldn’t really tell what it was. It started with the slightly knowing smile Tatianna shot her from across the corridor.

“Congrats, Nina!” she shouted down to her before she ducked into her own classroom.  

“Uh…thanks,” she replied a little too late. Okay, the Nativity process had been stressful, but did she really need congratulated?

She supposed she appreciated it. It had been a whirlwind of a process, after all.

Only the odd thing was, it continued. The congratulations came pouring in; Alaska, Ivy from the Nursery school, Alyssa had cooed and gushed for ages about how exciting it was and how happy she was for her.

Nina had only blinked in reply, a little bewildered. “Thanks, Alyssa. It was a stress, but they managed to pull it off in the end.”

Alyssa gave her a funny look, then realisation seemed to dawn on her. “Oh…they’re non-binary! You know I never knew that, sorry sugar. Well congratulations to you both.”

With that, Alyssa hurried away only leaving Nina more confused than ever.

What in the fuck?

When the bell rang and Nina went to collect her class from the line, things only got weirder. Before she could hurry her class inside, Harry’s Mum waved at her from behind the school gate, beckoning her over. Nina’s heart began to sink- she was going to ask her why Harry was only a shepherd, wasn’t she, or why he didn’t get a solo during Little Donkey, or some-other-bullshit-like-that.

To Nina’s surprise, she held up a sparkly gift bag.

“Hi, sorry for bothering you!” she beamed at her. This was already unheard of- a parent apologising for taking up her time? Nina was beginning to question if she had slipped through a crack in the fabric of reality while she’d been sleeping when Harry’s Mum spoke again. “Me and the other parents had a quick whipround and got you a couple of things and a little card to say congratulations! We thought it was the least we could do given your lovely news.”

It was only after Nina had thanked her profusely, taken the bag and led her children into class that her words sank in. What lovely news was she on about?

Nina taught that morning in a daze. Well, ‘taught’ was pushing it; the last few days of term were always movie days or games days, and today was the former. Nina had decided to inject a bit of an educational element to it by showing her class Nativity and then asking them if they thought the film’s play was better than the one they’d put on. Despite it being one of her favourite Christmas films, though, she still wondered why everyone had been congratulating her today. Maybe her Nativity video had really been so amazingly good that people just had to comment on it. Nina decided that this was the only plausible explanation, and so was feeling particularly spirited as it reached breaktime and she sent the kids out to play.

She was sitting in her classroom reading all the messages she’d missed on her group chat when Willam practically crashed through her door.

“Oh my God!” she yelled, practically vibrating with excitement. “Congratulations, you lucky fucker! That’s gotta be the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen. I mean Bianca probably wants your head on a plate for keeping it in, but still! How’re you celebrating? Should we go to the shop at lunchtime and get prosecco? I mean it’s the last few days of term, I’m sure drinking on the job’s allowed. Court wouldn’t tell anyone.”

Willam was talking with such speed that it took a few seconds for Nina to register everything she’d said. “Why…would Bianca want my head on a plate?”

Willam snorted. “I mean it’s kinda obvious. You don’t think she’s gonna be pissed about it? Then again, maybe she won’t. I don’t know, I can’t get inside her head. I’m not on that Honey I Shrunk The Kids kinda bullshit.”

Nina felt her head was so clouded that even if she possessed the brightest fog lights in the world she still couldn’t see what Willam was trying to say.

“Willam,” she asked, slowly and carefully as she rested her head in her hands. “What the hell are you talking about?”

There was a pause as Willam froze, then as her eyes became huge and wide as she slowly raised a finger to point at Nina. “Jesus Harvey Christ. You…you don’t know, do you?”

Nina frowned, bewildered. “Know what?”

“Oh my God. You don’t know. This is the best thing ever. You don’t even know!” Willam howled with laughter, then, before Nina could ask what she was meant to not know, Willam had dashed out of her classroom and had begun yelling into the hall. “Courtney! Court! She doesn’t know!”

Nina began to feel her heart beat in heavy thuds as the bell went to signal the end of playtime. What didn’t she know?

Eventually Nina managed to reach the end of the day. How, she didn’t know. She was so confused by all the different odd events of the day that she felt she didn’t properly make sense at any point to her class, but that probably didn’t matter as they were all so wrapped up in Christmas nonsense that Nina could’ve left the classroom and they wouldn’t have given a shit.

She was just getting ready to leave work for the weekend when Bianca stuck her head into her classroom and made her almost jump fifty feet in the air.

“Nina,” she began, in her own blunt, abrasive way. She didn’t wait for Nina to greet her as she continued. “I know you must be wandering around with your head in the clouds at the moment, but next time do you think you could maybe just run the video by me first? I mean you’re very lucky that the parents took that well. I mean it’s really about the kids, y’know?”

Nina could only blink at her wide-eyed like a deer in the headlights, getting into trouble but not entirely sure what for. Loath to say anything in response, she simply nodded.

“I mean you should’ve really kept it out,” Bianca frowned. She let the awkward, tense silence hang in the air for a few moments before a humoured smile appeared on her face. “But congratulations. I’m very happy for you.”

Without stopping for Nina to reply, Bianca had turned on her heel and left her classroom. Nina could only look at the space she’d previously been standing in. Maybe all of this was a dream. A fever dream. She’d probably contracted some sort of illness and was experiencing some hallucinogenic vision.

She didn’t know how she made it home without causing a crash, but she managed, and as soon as she was through the door she began to vent to the person she loved most.  

“Monet!” she called through to the kitchen, hanging her belongings up. “I’ve had the weirdest fucking day in living memory. So first all the teachers were congratulating me…then I got a present from the parents…then Willam was screaming about me not knowing something…and then Bianca gave me a row at the end of the day…but I still don’t know exactly why…but then she said congratulations to me too?”

It was only when Nina stopped and walked through to the kitchen that she saw the kitchen table all done up with candles and laid beautifully, Nina’s favourite meal (slow cooker beef and buttery mash) on two plates, and Monet sitting at the table with her makeup done, dressed in a backless blue bodycon that Nina had once very nearly broke the zip of trying to rip it off her one weekend away.

“Uh…” Nina frowned, more confused than ever. Slowly, as a smile spread across Monet’s face, she began to connect all the dots of weird and the picture it presented illustrated that somehow her girlfriend had to be behind it all. “Okay, what’s going on?”

Monet got up and leant against the kitchen counter. She very gently took both of Nina’s hands in hers. “You didn’t watch the whole video once I exported it, did you?”

Something like dread crossed with excitement began to pool in Nina’s gut. She narrowed her eyes. “Monet…what did you do?”

Wordlessly, Monet reached back across to the table where she picked up her phone and loaded up the Nativity video. Skipping to the end, she got past the end of Jingle Bells and showed the video to Nina. The screen faded to black, and then, Nina watched as another little title card faded into view.

To the teacher that always gives so much of herself to others, I now want to give all of myself to you.

Miss West, will you marry me?

Love, Monet x

And suddenly everything in Nina felt as if it was made of fire, adrenaline and jet fuel. Her eyes flew open, her hand smacked against her shocked, gaping mouth. Her pulse raced and her heart hammered and all of her limbs turned to jelly to the extent she wasn’t sure she was able to stand any more. When she took her eyes off her phone screen and looked at Monet, her girlfriend was down on their kitchen floor, down on one knee like in every princess movie Nina had ever seen, her hair soft and curled and loose on her shoulders and a bright smile on her painted taupe lips. Gemstone tears brimmed in her dark eyes and hung from her lashes like icicles, and there, in her outstretched hands, was an open navy box.

Inside was a ring - gold band, one small diamond - and it was when Nina saw it that she gave a sob, her own tears springing from her eyes like a broken fountain, uncontrollable and erratic.

“Oh, baby, c’mere,” Monet gave a small laugh, shaking her head and immediately rising from the floor to wrap her arms around her in a hug. Nina took a few shaky, shallow breaths, pawing at Monet’s chest to release herself from her grip and look her in the eyes.

“You! You knew…all this time, and you…you put it in the video, oh my GOD, Monet, I could’ve got in so much trouble…I did get in so much trouble, oh my God…and you didn’t even tell me-”

“I thought you’d at least watch the damn thing through before you uploaded it!” Monet burst out laughing through her tears, and Nina joined in in a lightheaded, giddy way.

“I can’t believe this is real. Fuck. My whole body feels like that time we did poppers in Crete. Oh my God. Is this happening? You want to marry me?”

“Well, I would love to marry you, but I’m waiting on an answer,” Monet smiled bashfully, bringing her arm out from around Nina’s waist and holding the ring up so Nina could see it.

The diamond only seemed to glisten more when she saw it through the tears in her own eyes, and the gold shone warm like the brightest star. It was an engagement ring- her engagement ring- and it was real, and it was surreal, but Monet was in front of her waiting for an answer with tears in her eyes and hope in her heart that matched her own.

And Nina had never been one to say no to anything.