#one of the only people who try in that class. yknow. do they hate me because of that? is it because i’m bad at talking to people?
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hellcatchvalley · 2 months ago
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the way that if any bh member died now it wouldnt even be a "oh no im gonna miss them :(" feeling but more so a "man they didnt even really get a chance to finish anything" feeling is.
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dreamertrilogys · 2 years ago
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i’m so fucking tired (physically but also emotionally/mentally) like i don’t even feel like a person rn
#i still have to finish my diary entry for yesterday + i have to do one for today bc once again my life has been insane and like. AUGH#i don’t have the energy to do that right now tho so tmrw night it is i suppose. anyway ummm. i still genuinely truly deeply have no idea#what the fuck i’m supposed to do about the dani (possibly my girlfriend???) situation like i cannot deal with this#like if she just wanted to casual date or whatever i might be fine with it but no she like ACTUALLY likes me and it’s fucking terrifying#and like. oh my god. ok so there’s this new app or whatever idk i hate it but point is you get lame ass questions like who’s the hottest#person or whatever and you have to pick out of the 4 randomized ppl from ur school it gives you#<- like when you download it you pick ur school and then it suggests you people only from ur school yknow. anyway she showed me some of the#ones ppl picked her for (it doesn’t tell you who picked you for what it just says their grade and gender) and anyway what i’m trying to get#at here is that in english class (while we were sitting super close together thighs touching and all) she showed me and one of the ones#someone picked her for was most likely to marry their high school sweetheart and she kinda looked at me and was like hopefully!#and uhhhh. obviously nobody’s talking about fucking MARRIAGE rn and she’s dated plenty of people in high school but STILL#and like. as i’ve said before i genuinely can’t see myself with her in the future and going into a relationship knowing it’ll end just feel#so fucking mean and like a waste of everyone’s time. except i don’t even know if i feel that way anymore or i’m just telling myself that bc#i’m scared of commitment or whatever#fuck!!!!#and of course there’s still my friend (diff person not dani) who i’m genuinely in love with like it’s actually so fucking bad#like i need to **** *** ** ******* *** *** *** **** *****#.txt#fake ex gf#crushposting#this is just a word for word repeat of my last 3 posts on this topic but anyway. the thing is if you asked me to choose between them (crush#and girl who likes me who i also kind of like) i’d pick my friend/crush like it wouldn’t even be that hard of a choice. but there is no#friend vs dani there’s only dani asking me out and like. ughhhhh#i can’t deal with this!!!!!!!!!!#gf
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stunfiskz · 2 years ago
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ugh i feel so self conscious and paranoid bc of something that happened if sasha doesn’t win tonight i’m actually gonna stab my self or something i swear
#txt#like .. my gf was ignoring me all of fourth period today. the only class we have together#and during lunch she still jsut seemed . so uninterested? i guess? and didn’t seem to care abt anything i said#she just talked to her other friends the whole time during both class and lunch and it just makes me feel like. idk.#did she realize she doesn’t actually want to be with me? did i do something wrong? do her friends not like me??#j don’t know because her friends in fourth period haven’t ever really spoken to me but it’s like. idk. because i feel like a lot of people#in that class don’t like me. like i feel like a self centered bitch for saying it but i’m like#one of the only people who try in that class. yknow. do they hate me because of that? is it because i’m bad at talking to people?#is it because i’m very obviously queer? is it becuase i’m always either too quiet or too loud? is it because i’m fat? is it because#yeah.#i don’t know and she just hasn’t said anything fo me about plans or anything since she asked me out did she realize i’m going to be#so bad at being ina relationship. like this would be the first real actual thing and it’s just so hard for me to understand if#i did something wrong#and i’m worried becuase she did just get out of a bad situationship where they were fwb#and i don’t know if i’m ready for that yet. but she is because she already has and i don’t know how to feel abt that.#i just don’t understand why she asked me out is she gonna reveal in a week it was just a joke and i’m dumb for believing it#i don’t know i’m scared
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maevstar · 17 days ago
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tw: venting, anxiety
I think all I’m doing now here is vent lol. I’ve kinda been distant from this account, I just lost a bit of the motivation abt shifting (ofc I didn’t gave up or anything, shifting exists) but there’s a lot of things in my personal life that are really getting into me and I’m so tired.
When I created this account I was so invested into it, and to me here was a really safe place to share my things, but in my cr I’ve been so anxious abt things in my life that I became distant from here, and I hate that I did that
I’m so so tired of here, I just wanna disappear sometimes, I’m not suicidal or anything, but I just wanted a break from my life yknow? Like when you get aware of the “void” state, and you are just pure consciousness, I just wanna get pure consciousness and forget abt here
I feel anxious all the time and I feel like I don’t have anyone to count on, school is killing me and I skipped so many classes that I feel the most dumb and stupid person ever, and every time someone asks abt it I hold on the urge to break down.
I really want to get motivated abt shifting but all I do is cry and it’s terrible cause idk why im like this, I think im getting a bit depressed and I don’t know exactly what to do, I’m young and I hate to see people of my age happy and living their lives normally knowing that im far from that rn
I feel so tired that I don’t want to do anything, I don’t feel motivated enough to do anything, and my mom says that I can’t cry cause I’m not the only person on earth who suffers over anxiety, but tbh this doesn’t make it better
I really wanted comfort from my friends but they don’t seem to care, or don’t seem to care enough to be worried or something. It’s not like i wanna worry anyone, but i just wish I had someone who cares abt me the way i care abt the ones i love. I hate when i try to talk to my friend and she changes the topic, I feel like a burden
I think I’m gonna start being more active on this account cause when I was active I was so motivated and even happy, was so nice and I want that back
I think nobody is gonna read this but since it’s my blog I just wanted to share this, making it sorta of a diary (btw I’m probably deleting this when I wake up)
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mik0is0bored · 1 month ago
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Im gonna vent rq so ignore this if you want idc
So yknow how in past posts I've said my mom is rude to me (telling me to go to hell is one of the many things she's said) and is nicer to everyone in my family? So yeah basically this all happened not even five minutes ago and basically I say "mom i think I have insomnia and depression can you try and schedule an appointment with my doctor" and she starts saying "no you don't need to go to the doctor your fine" and goes off on "you don't try to sleep at night you stay up and read or draw and think about whatever the fuck you want and you don't try to sleep" like last night I stared up at my ceiling or had my eyes closed and I only got four to five hours of sleep. I tried falling asleep. But I couldn't. I fell asleep at 11:30 last night. And then she starts saying "you dont get to defend yourself" and my irl friend let's me vent abt my mom right and so my mom stops talking and says "who are you texting" nd takes my phone before I can even respond and I say "why can't I talk to my friend" saysi explain why I am and she sits there with her mouth open like shocked or whatever and then she has the audacity to say "you don't get to feel emotions" and you do, mom? You get to decide my emotions? You get to tell me how I feel? Cause you dont. You make me feel like the scum of the earth and I don't matter, but you don't get to tell me that my feelings don't matter. She accuses me of yelling, I'm not yelling. I'm loosing my voice cus I was sick and I'm full on crying cus of all this shit like bro now your standing in the doorway of the bathroom apologizing? "Clean the mascara off your face" why? So dad doesn't see I've been crying? Like sorry i don't hate her, but don't fucking tell me my emotions don't matter then tell me to do shit that'll make it seem like shit didn't happen that's fucking unacceptable and it's beyond cruel to treat your fucking kid like that. And we wonder why people have mental illness and their mental health is bad. (Not all cases, but some) have unbelievable parents who tell them all this shit, and it makes them (me included) depressed, anxious, and fucking suicidal. This has nothing to do with it but I'm scared as shit to ask for help. It took me 10 minutes in health class today to ask my instructor "I'm i citing my sources correctly?" Like that should not take someone that long to ask a stupid question. Now I'm asking for therapy (wow I'm asking for help?) And my parents are ignoring the fact I said anything
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rrat-king · 1 month ago
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Smart Bricker is so important to me! Especially because my thing with the Applebees siblings is they all have at least some level of ADHD in different ways. His thoughts truly run a mile a minute there is always at least 5 things ticking around in his head. Helio gave him ADHD because he knew if he didn't Bricker would lock in so hard he'd ascend to godhood /lh. He also made Bricker grow up in a racist church because he knew if he ever linked up with Adaine and Riz nothing would ever have stakes ever because they'd have it solved like that. Give king like one Fantasy Adderall and he's so focused you're not hearing from him for days.
And like, his siblings know he's fiercely smart as well like he's on Kristen's list of the smartest people she knows. Like she fully believes (though she'd never say this to him because that's embarrassing) no matter what he wants to do with life he can do it because he has the brains for it.
The converse is that if he has no interest in something he does not even pretend to GAF. Like everyone thinks he's bad at like, math because he doesn't try at it but its like he helps C with his homework a lot and he's fine. He just doesn't like math so he sees no reason to bother. Like yknow that kid in the back of the classroom who says ''Miss when are we ever gonna need this in life??'' That's him but 1. He keeps that to himself and 2. He thinks that about math in general. He completely genuinely sees no practical application for math in life.
Arguably him being smart is what enables him to be such a smartass. He's truly that one Mulaney bit that's like ''13 year olds are the meanest people in the world because 13 year olds will make fun of you but in an accurate way, they will get to the thing you don't like about you without even looking at you for long.''
And also as a fun tidbit. I agree he's definitely gay and you'll hate me for this one but his awakening was definitely Ricky Martin. I know he watched the Livin La Vida Loca music video on loop, because he ''liked the song''. Pre-Aguefort Kristen who didn't yet know what a gay person was thought it was just because he appreciated Ricky as an artist. It was not. She figured it out a few months after starting Aguefort but decided to let him realise it first and come to her.
the ricky martin thing is killig me so so much. literally he is obsessed with him but does not get it until he Gets It and. slightly life shattering what do you mean he just likes ricky martin the average amount (no one has had to guts to tell him the average amount is so low)
he has so little interest in the things he has qualified as unimportant. literally what do you mean he is going to use the quadratic formula? magic exists that is dumb and he doesn't care (does he know the whole formula and how to do it but just refuses to cuz it's boring? absolutly). he's one of those kids that is really good at getting the class off topic but the teachers are too charmed by him to stop it which is also. so annoying to his siblings cuz by god do adults like bricker and he doesn't get in trouble for anything cuz of it.
also dude. ur so absolutely right if him and adaine and riz all got together they would truly be such an unstoppable force it's just the issue that he's still dealing with how to be normal around other races cuz he has been so programmed with fucked up info and adiane and riz both have such a low tolerence of tweens. aelwyn can take the scathing jabs cuz she can she come right back at him but riz and adaine are morally conflicted over being mean to a 13 year old which. skill issue on thier part.
sorry yeah the ricky martin thing is going to haunt me and the only thing i can think to add is that it would translate bricker having a crush on ragh if he ever met him
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laulo821 · 9 months ago
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to clarify my opinion on "proper" english, idfc how people write in their personal lives/to friends or family/etc, but in professional/published works- or anything that is meant to be understood by a wider audience i think the clarity provided by adhering to certain grammatical rules and structure is veeerrry important eheheh. for the sake of ease of communication!
i try to be pretty careful about my word choice and order allll the time for that reason, even if i drop a lot of proper spelling/capitalization/punctuation for casual dialogue.
nonetheless, i think when people act intentionally obtuse just to shame people for speaking casually/colloquially/with slang/whatever thats stupid and evil etc. hate when people do that. i might not understand a lot of it, but it has the right to exist yk! it is just as worthy of respect ^_^
anyways i think this topic is very interesting as well its something i enjoy talking about :33
once again i dare ask, where does the professional/private begins and stops? thats a big debate we had in termonology class (terminology , the science of terms aka specialised & professional words). some terminologists argue that terms are only employed in the field by top-notch experts to top-notch experts and nothing else qualifies as a term. other terminologists argue that funk that: "spoonful" is a term because it belongs to the professional sector of cooking, disregarding how common/unspecialised it may be (they dont actually disregard it but yknow). also some guy who goes fishing as a hobby every week and starts talking about the components of his rod to his friends: not an expert (meaning doesn't work as a fisherman)! but using specialised words! should they count as terms or common words? should that be considered professional discussion cuz the terms or private discussion cuz he's talking to a friend? anyways it's just to say that the gap between professional and private discussions may not be so clear
on a same note, what is a wider audience? we're on the internet literally everyone could read that post, making it, by its nature, designed for a wide audience. should every tumblr post thus should have proper english? likewise, works that were only notes and scribbles, like Les Pensées by Pascal that were published post-mortem... it was not meant for a wider audience in that state and is not always using proper French. due to this, are thus Les Pensées not a piece of literature anymore? (kinda teasing w this paragraph hehe but you see the issue i'm poking)
like you said the most important task of a language is not to be proper. it is to be spoken but also to be effective. to enable communication. we could also go all in and dare say, funk the rules as long as a message or piece or literature is understandable, it is proper english!! arguably, every broken rule of proper english creates a new variation of english that could be its own proper variation english (like UK english, US english, NZ english, etc, coexist together as proper englishes)
also youre soso true about the shaming stuff. dawg that pisses me OFF. that's why fuck the Académie Française i wish i could dismember that bullshit of an institution. they are the ones "making the rules" of French but NONE OF THOSE FUCKERS ARE LINGUISTS AND ALSO ARE ALL 109 YEARS OLD HOW CAN THEY im cool im cool [insert the hades calming down gif]. anyways. language belongs to the people so whatever they do with it it's fine as long as they have fun and are themselves <3
on a final note i'm heavily arguing against you here but i think you're overall right nonetheless :p rigor may not always be needed in a language but languages need a strong basis and grammatical rules to exist and actually make the communication efficient!! i perfectly see your points and they are very legit
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gyunglitter · 11 months ago
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more profiles
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- just you dicking around with txt college!au besties
warnings: i think one curse word lol
tags: txtxreader (platonic), non-idol!au, college!au, txt, lag, tomorrowxtogether, lesserafim, hansohee, drabble fics!, bulletpoint fics!
notes: just some additional profiles for the rest of the cast that i made, these are the people who will make appearances throughout the series
+more profiles might be added as this progresses :)
PLEASE feel free to send in asks/requests about this series to give me more ideas/feedback/reactions to it! i very much appreciate them!
⚤masterlist
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girlies🥴
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sohee:
HFJSLAHM
your older sister
literally the prettiest person to walk the planet
besides you🤭
but fr she is
she’s a model and artist
her career is kinda what inspired you to be a photographer actually!
you’d go to her photoshoots as a kid with your parents and instead of being focused on your sister
you were intrigued by the cameras and work system!
that’s how your parents knew you were a little weird, but everything works for a reason yknow
despite being so different, yall are so close
she adores you but won’t act like it
but you know she does since she offered a room in her apartment when you moved out for college
your friends CONSTANTLY try to find ways to come over
but you know your friends best and only let them come over when sohee okays it lol
yeonjun and beomgyu are her #1 fans, but RESPECTFULLY
girlie has no ops, BUT THEY WOULD FIGHT THEM FOR HER🗣️
she acts like she doesn’t, but she adores your friends too
esp kai—they’re like polar opposites in aesthetic, but she just finds him so adorable
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kim chaewon:
junior
majors in music, studying performance
it's how she met her besties yunjin and sakura
the other local lesbians lmao
jk
yunjin's bi <3 !!
chaewon's a very sweet girl
the epitome of kuromi in human form
she's so cute, but you literally can't stand her :/
after soobin blamed her for you flunking out, you can't trust her lmao
you never confront her tho since you know it was technically your fault
but the side eyes are CONSTANT
and you never fail to curse her name whenever things don't go your way
poor girl is the sweetest thing on earth and has no clue as to why you hate her so much
really wishes you didn't though :(
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huh yunjin:
sophomore
majors in music, studies music theory
main slayer on campus everyone
people on campus are lowkey intimidated by her, until she cracks the unfunniest joke and everyone realizes she's attainable as well
she's literally so cool tho
most likable person on the planet
she's practically sisters with chaewon, but everyone thinks they're together
she's just a girl's girl you guys!!
and maybe likes to kiss a few of em
knows you and beomgyu since yall are the same year and share a few classes
but is mega confused as to the random hate against chaewon
that's her homegirl? she thought you were all homegirls??
guess not
but she likes your guys' friend group, thinks yall are super funny and is on good terms with all of em
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miyawaki sakura:
senior, her second time around!!
had already graduated as a business major when she was younger, but came back to school to be a music major and study music therapy!
she really is THAT girl!
she practically adopted chaewon after she met her in the music program
and yunjin was an obvious addition the following year
mother fr
all three live together and are a force to be reckoned with on campus
wisest among them
also their comfort person
chaewon and yunjin can be unloading the wildest debrief with her and she'll just be giving the best advice with a side of fresh cinnamon rolls
also
the most fearless among them?
she's afraid of loud sounds, heights, ghosts, and goblins
but she will take no shit from the world, let alone men
she's the shortest in the bunch, but everyone WILL get behind her when shit goes down
yall honestly don't overlap at all
tho you do think she has an eery resemblance to taehyun
theories in the gc about them being third cousins twice removed or something
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add. notes: whether the girls follow you/you follow them is ON PURPOSE—yall i put in so much detail into everyone’s profiles so if you see something, it’s very intentional lol
this was supposed to be a fun, silly lil fic i update whenever i have the time in between fics, but it’s slowly consuming me and becoming my hyperfixation atm😭
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plvtosun · 1 year ago
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blancaposting! ongoing bulleted list of her traits, backstory, lil facts, character rxships, songs, etc
blanca edén tennebris*
born/raised in east los angeles
got in trouble for ditching her own first communion and playing with the crows in the cemetery outside the church instead. her dress got all dirty. ( → “i hate it! why am i wearing this anyway i don’t wanna marry jesus!!”) she said if her parents forced her to go through with it she was gonna bite the priest’s fingers. …they didn’t make her go through with it, they knew she would legitimately bite his fingers.
her immediate family is/was very religious, very traditional mexican-american. puro machismo. blanca’s an only child but during family functions she was expected to watch all the younger cousins inside the house while everyone else had fun. as much as she hates it she knows the rosary by heart. but she still has a soft spot for la virgen de guadalupe, to this day. the rose scent of the veladoras calms her down.
she doesn’t get along with her family much, except for a few older cousins who introduced her to metal and anime, and a tía she visited one winter break in mexico, who taught her how to do limpias de huevo for herself. the day that tía passed away was probably the worst day of her life.
(more under cut)
*“tenebrous”
she needs! her! quiet time! ex: if she’s working on a piece in an area that’s starting to get crowded and noisy, she gets overstimulated and has to leave immediately. some days she can handle noisiness, other days she can’t. (she can always handle the noisiness at concerts though)
her first kiss was a girl in her catechism class.
likes spooky and haunted things but she’s not about to go full zak bagans yknow?
her first and middle name were chosen to keep in line with the whole… devout catholic thing. blanca means white, “pure” in a way. the name was also chosen because it was her maternal grandma’s name, and she was a very pious woman.
she straight up saw la llorona once.
character rxships [updated 8/29]:
toki
she’s down horrendous but he doesn’t notice for a while because she tries to hide or she gets extra quiet when he’s around.
re: kids, blanca: …have you ever had to take care of a kid? like legitimately had to take care of one for a full day? a week? or while they’re sick? …try that out and get back to me. [personal hc that he does, in fact, try it out. the stickiness, the noise, the sensory overload at times despite a few cute sweet moments. yeah, cats and bunnies all the way.]
draws him cutesy (and brutal) pictures whenever he wants!
gets too shy to hold his hand at first and looks away the first time in true tsundere fashion.
cute spanish nicknames!
both t-shirt thieves, even though most of blanca’s shirts don’t fit him. he’s stretched a couple of them out. :/
skwisgaar
likes to mess around with him because of his high opinion of himself. all in good fun though.
calls him “ricitos”/“ricitos de oro” (goldilocks), which he acts like he hates, but lowkey? i think he likes it.
he’s allergic to cilantro, she has that thing that makes it taste bitter and nasty to her. “you’re not missing much. i don’t care what everyone else says, i’m convinced my third eye is open or some shit and that’s why i’m one of those people that tastes straight SOAP when i eat it.”
nathan
he came across her art on instagram and thought it was sick with the brutal imagery and that’s why he wanted her to illustrate the next album cover/tshirt designs, but aside from that, they didn’t get along too well at first because they’re kinda similar in the way they like to tease and mess around + they would butt heads a lot creatively.
eventually they’re chill though. blanca quickly figures out how to shut up and not say certain things even though nathan’s reaction would be funny, and he does the same.
not platonic soulmates, not mortal enemies. they’re pretty alright together. they pal around.
both fucking love chips
he’s the first to notice her crush on toki and he teases her in passing about it every chance he gets. ass.
murderface
refuses to go in his room. “no fucking way man you have all that old historical stuff in there! that shit’s haunted!”
↑ “la neta, la neta, la neta. que mala vibra traes, maestro.”
similar to nathan but she messes with him a little more because he’s pretty rough. she generally doesn’t get along with him super well but they have their moments where they can joke around and have fun. kind of like a cat and a dog.
walked in on him playing bass with his dick and quoted the “there goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality” simpsons line
pickles
when he opens up a little about his mom and family she gets piiiissed. she can relate. she high fives him after he finally tells his mom to go fuck herself.
tv binging buddies!
calls him “canelo” like canelo álvarez because of his red hair
second to notice her crush on toki. he doesn’t tease as much as nathan but he definitely gets a kick out of seeing how she gets around toki before they officially get together.
abigail
admires the way she gets shit done and thinks her curly hair is really pretty
tries not to get in her way when she’s working but loves her calming vibe. she likes to just sit with her in silence while she draws sometimes
begs begs BEGS her to let her do her makeup all dark and gothic. just once!
charles
similar to abigail, she tries to not get in his way too much and she admires how he handles things
feels like he’s kind of unapproachable, but he seemed nice and polite enough when she first met everybody & started working on the album art.
not much going on between them honestly
dr. rockzo
literally only puts up with him for toki but she sets boundaries on him being around quick. she doesn’t like how he’s taken advantage of toki’s kindness before
^ may or may not have put ojo on him once or twice because of this. three times… four… who’s counting though?
he’s gross, dude.
playlist! + youtube link and backgrounds for the songs here.
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freeuselandonorris · 10 months ago
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for the ask game: 1, 19, 20!
heyyyy thank you for asking! 🫶
what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?
ooooh bloody hell. let's see. 1. being an only child in a single parent household. it's made me very happy with my own company (sometimes to a fault) and very close with my mum. also probably contributed to why my inner fantasy life is so active lmao 2. having a period of very poor mental health through my teenage years/early 20s. i basically lost the years between 13-23. it's made me very careful about looking after myself now i'm older and it forced me to have to understand myself more. it's also made me more keenly aware of not wasting more time. 3. art school. i went to a fairly prestigious art school in london and it really opened my eyes to class (i'm northern and working class) - it was the first time i'd really come across PROPERLY priveleged people (a close friend was the daughter of a tory mp and i was later a bridesmaid at her wedding at westminster palace lmao, weirdest day of my life) and realised just how much the world was skewed to their success. also made me realise i like making art but i hate the art world and most art people. still wanna write an art school AU one day.
19. favourite thing about the day?
when i'm having a good head period and can manage it, my morning routine is the best. i get up and make my lil coffee (V60 4 lyf) and then sit down and write for an hour - i like writing first thing before my brain is knackered from Life - and listen to lauren laverne's 6music show, then i read for however long i have left before work. sometimes i'll burn incense or a nice candle. for a while i was doing morning pages too although i find them a drain long-term. it's just my time, yknow? i try not to look at my phone or anything.
i'm going to be moving to a partly office-based job again and not being able to do my morning routine on those days is the thing i'm most upset about.
20. favourite things about the night?
i'm the kind of person who has a brain that is constantly chewing on to-do lists and anxiety spiralling about All The Things I Must Do and i like feeling like i am mostly done with the day's tasks by evening (even though i find it hard to stop percolating them or adding more sometimes). recently i've got into the habit of listening to shaun keaveny's daily grind podcast on my headphones while i cook my dinner which is a rly nice way to mark the end of the workday, although i guess that's evening more than night.
i like that the night can be either end of the spectrum - it can be the time for extreme cosiness, feeling safe and protected and sleepy, or it can be the time for excess and sleaze. when all the hidden things come out to play!
from questions i think it would be fun to be asked!
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soggypotatoes · 1 year ago
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also I had such a complex inch resting dream this morning that I already wrote out in my dream journal and it was so many words I'm not explaining again but like
basically I was this guy who lived in a society governed by a Higher Figure, like a god but one who is very present like a big brother scenario, and my job was to sit in the middle of the desert 24/7 (I could sleep tho) in full sun with no shade operating a gate. I was there to allow the upper class to pass but not middle or lower (incl me, I was like working class). the gate wasn't really a gate, it was spikes in the ground that I'd let down when an upper class person came by.
I was like, ok with this, it had been my job nearly my whole life. I wasn't allowed to not do it, but I didn't really think of it as fucked up, just wished I could get some shade during summer yknow. I had a dog to keep me company, but nobody stuck around that area so I didn't know anyone else, except my sister who had a higher ranking than me. she lived halfway up a rocky cliff over a river with a really fast current, so she didn't know anyone either, she was very inaccessible. I could visit her sometimes though, and I didn't know what her job was, but I went there every now and then both to see her and bc she had air conditioning so her house was cool lol. she had books and a tv (I didn't, literally all I had was a folding chair and a tent to sleep in). she had it better than me but I had the sense she was lonelier, bc at least I saw people as they came past. she only saw me for like 20 minutes every now and then when I had a break.
then it went into all this crazy business with me getting swept away when a group of the lowest class of people managed to get past my gate, and I ended up where they lived where they were this huge close knit family/society of their own. they didn't have their needs taken care of and they were hated n treated like shit by everyone else, but they looked after each other. I abandoned my post to live with them, tho it meant I had to stay in hiding bc the Higher Figure would kill me for it. I faced that danger to try to get my sister to come with me, but she was too scared. and then there were vampires
OH, OH AND ALSO
this was the craziest bit right
after all that, I still wasn't radicalised, but then while I wAs hiding amongst the upper class ppl I found out that the gate I was guarding was a gate to a huge water park??? and that's when I got really mad, cause they never told me what my job was for right, I just did it. and then I find out not only did they keep me there in full sun 20 hours a day with a water park right there, but my job was stupid and not even important at all. I'd thought at least that I was doing something important which was why they never told me what it was. but no. I was just out there suffering under the sun to keep the Poors from the water park.
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floralovebot · 2 years ago
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idk who leon and luis are but 👍 cool
also here’s a short list of some of the ideas for how i would’ve changed netwinx lmfao:
Aisha is still royalty and gets her own plotline about like having and becoming comfortable with her freedom now that she’s no longer in the palace. and maybe also her trying to keep her royal status a secret bc she wants to be treated normally for once
bring Tecna and Brandon and Timmy and all the Trix back
if we have to keep the elemental system they were doing (fire, earth, water, air, mind) then Musa should just be an air fairy so she can still have sound powers. also then (if we’re also doing the thing they did where Cloud Tower doesn’t exist fsr and the Trix are at Alfea) Stormy and Musa can still have their little subplot of not liking each other bc they’ve got air magic classes together or smth
make Tecna a mind fairy and either give her telekinesis or telepathy?
Sky is a fairy but his parents forced him to be a Specialist bc they thought it would be more becoming of a future monarch. the Winx help him train his fairy powers (aka as they learn stuff they kinda teach him)
Bloom is still adopted and has a good relationship with her adopted parents!!
Stella has her personality back!!! also all the Winx are friendly from the beginning. are they always gonna 100 percent get along? no. but they still try to be friends first
(ok look I had this idea where Sky and Riven were maybe exes who dated briefly in the school year before the Winx came to Alfea. not sure about it now but eh)
look the Brandon-Sky switch is wild to me but I feel like it would be so funny to keep it
Dane… I had a whole thing with him but idr anymore
there was a whole thing with the Trix and what they were planning, and there was a whole thing for what to do with Dane x Riven x Beatrix, but I said I’d make this list short
I just looked through my notes for this for the first time in like two years and uh. wow I made the Winx way gayer for each other than I remember djdkgksksj
there are probably a few other things that I’ve forgotten but it’s been a hot minute idk
also I feel like this goes without saying but we’re also taking out all whitewashing, racism, homophobia, fatphobia, and ableism
aldhglajd luis and leon are from resident evil !!
ANYWAY i love these!! i've been saying that so many winxers genuinely would be able to fix that mess, it's truly insane to me that they casted a director that hated winx club like dude.
i really like the idea of aisha keeping her royal status a secret!! especially if there was a subplot where she got closer to stella and sky because of it (like they would be the only ones to Know and they'd help her?). musa having air powers is so fun!! like genuinely do not understand why they got rid of music like fuck you. i initially thought they could've just done sound yknow? like not exactly an element but definitely a natural part of nature?
i thought of mind tecna too! i feel like so many people did!! i feel like that would be SUCH a good way to tie in her issues with emotions too. like you could go the easy route and make her an Emotional Mind fairy and she has to deal with that or you could go the Logical Mind fairy route and stick a little more to canon! sky being a fairy... love that for him i want him in so much glitter (me to the specialists: and where's your uniform?????)
i'm actually so mad about them taking away the sky/brandon switch so Mad SOOO MAD
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captainaikus · 2 years ago
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BELLEEEEEE!!!!! I’ve missed you so much 😭😭😭😭😭!!!!! Typing this as I’m sitting in my car after getting out of my last class. FINALS. ARE. FINALLY. OVER. And I passed all my classes with As!!!! Final exams went really well too!!! I feel like I’m gonna fall and pass out for 12 hours. Which I actually did yesterday because I had finished all my exams/classes but I had one more class to go to today.
BUT ENOUGH ABT ME HOW ARE YOU MY DEAR SWEET BLUE PUNK FAIRY FRIEND??? Have you been eating and drinking water?? Resting??? Taking breaks??? Isabelle. If you haven’t. *gently bonks head* Oliver would reprimand you too yknow? And not the fun bedroom scolding. TAKE BREAKS LOVE!!!! 😭😭❤️ Taking regular breaks is a responsibility to yourself that everyone forgets sometimes when they get lost in all their other responsibilities. Multitasking writing different works too much can cause headaches, speaking from experience sweetheart. And going to the gym is great but your body needs to relax and rest too. Water and a good meal and a hot shower/bath do wonders after a long session do wonders trust me. So please rest okay?
CONGRATULATIONS ON 1.6K 🎉✨🥳!!!! The numbers keep climbing so fast and all these milestones are amazing!!!! I’m so proud of you love 🥹✨❤️!!!
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHOS WATCHED KUROKO NO BASKET. Seriously the fandom is almost completely dead 😭😭💀. I knew it was a oldie but a goody but I didn’t think it was dust and tumbleweeds out here 😭😭. So glad you like it too!! Haikyuu will always be my favorite sports anime and one of my top favorites in general, it holds a really special place in my heart, but KnB was still a really fun watch.
ASFKKFFKJFHKHJG. THAT OLVER ART. Pls he’d hate getting out of bed and just become a complete octopus in the mornings. You gotta wake him up for practice and it’s such a chore. He’s such a big baby pshhhh. But there are some upsides like him saying the only way he’s gonna get up is if you place exactly 100 kisses all over his face, more than half of them end up being on the lips when he actually starts to get up, and you relent every money with a roll of your eyes and and huff and a fond smile he misses cause his eyes are closed. The first thing you do is wipe off that smug smirk from his face. Also hc that Oliver is actually really ticklish and it’s your weapon. Don’t get up even after the kisses? His sides are looking very open rn. Wont get off after flopping on you on the couch? You’re in the perfect position to reach his armpits. Wont stop clinging to you while you’re trying to do a new eye makeup style for your guys’ date? His neck is literally wide open cause he loves smushing his face into the crook of your neck.
What video? Did you post it on your other account? Because I couldn’t find it. Dangit I wanted to simp for Oliver too 😭😭.
Seriously I’m an introvert what are you gonna do? Lock me inside your house? Great free access to your clothes. Still me seeing friends? What friends babe? Take me everywhere with you? Nice let me grab my book and coffee and we’re good to go. Adjkgfhnjhhhv 💀💀.
That girl shoving into you was so rude. All it takes is a simple excuse me dude. And ISTG PEOPLE WHO SPOIL THINGS WHEN NO ONE ASKED 😤😤😤. They seriously piss me off and ruin the experience. See it’s different when I intentionally spoil myself because I’m too impatient. Someone else doing it? Oh heck no. Its the same feeling as someone taking the last of your favorite snack from the vending machine.
Also just a heads up. I’m gonna sending in multiple asks cause there’s just too much I wanna talk abt and breaking it into parts sounds better. So this is the first one. *sends aggressive virtual hugs that feel like they squish all the exhaustion out of you*
- ✨ anon
Starry! Omg- All As! That's great! And it's a good thing you took rest too- ik that i'm bout to pass out when i finish exams. I hope you're doing alright tho! Sorry it took me long to get to your ask; tumblr is being weird cause i can only see it when i get on my pc... and not on the app. yeah no I'm moving to ao3. i saw the rb of which character i would interpret the best and you said- Oliver Ofc. he's my husband but he doesn't know it yet ૮꒰ ˶> ༝ <˶꒱ა Well, I've been doing pretty good! I finished a jar of nutella (in 2 days) and i'm planning to buy a bigger one; i did drink a lot of water, ate some pasta, taking rest too made a wedding playlist for me and aiku and lowkey enjoyed it *the way i laughed when i saw : And not the fun bedroom scolding.' I'd like to see Oliver reprimand me (truth : he can't. Cause he knows at the end of the day even if he's bigger and stronger than me, he is gonna be beneath me) but yeah he'd probably say something like "you're gonna get sick, doorbell." But yeah i've been taking rest, dw starry! i'm actually giving myself a treat. with ao3 i can take things slow and easy tbh, which is another reason i'm moving there. The blog will be up ofc; to answer asks and for anons who wanna talk to me abt my work, but yeah my activity on ao3 is gonna be very irregular... THANK YOU!! 1.6k is such a big number, past me would have been like 'huh... never thought i'd make it this far.' BUT YEAH I DID ! T.T But actually it’s you guys who got me there so thank you everyone 💓
I think everyone thought that they were the only ones who watched knb; me included. I used to have the BIGGEST crush on aomine, i even found an asmr of his. (and yeah i do listen to asmrs btw) And yeah the fandom is almost dead (。 ́︿ ̀。) and I didn’t even get to read that many aomine works too…but yeah I really liked that anime! Haikyuu made me cry after clannad and also made me laugh the hardest, does hold a special place in my heart as well, Bokuto was my fav and rn… no one really. I like all of them cause they’re so unique yk?
As for the Oliver art, pretty sure he would hold you down to the bed. He would demand kisses! He is such a smooth talker- but since I’m me. When he expects a kiss *places hand on his lips before you kiss* “good morning. It’s time to get up” and he just groans when you have a tiny smirk and walk out of your shared bedroom, and his brain just going ‘god woman. You’re gonna be the death of me.’
How- I think I’m getting too predictable with my writing cause I do have something to do with eye makeup in Ocean hues… 👁️ *but we don’t talk abt that cause no spoilers!*
The video! Starry. I BLEW A FUSE CAUSE OF THAT REEL. so story time, I was checking my insta in the morning after I woke up and this gym based reel popped on my feed. And the moment I saw it - I thought of Oliver. Like alright fineeeee this is a guy Idek on the internet just doing his own thing and posting fitness reels but his body. IT LOOKED. LIKE. OLIVER. AND HIS HAIR WAS LIKE AIKU’S TOO! I’m not even joking - The shaggy hair down at the back minus the green highlights - it’s like the way I imagined Oliver’s body to be like. And- I really wasn’t expecting to see THAT in the morning. So it was a really great start to my day- and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for a whole day so I had to save it. I posted the link for a bit so that blue (💙 anon) and other Aikuists could check it out and we were just fawning over this guy. I took the link down soon after cause I didn’t want anyone reblogging it and creating chaos. I’ll put the link again and take it down in 10 mins. I’m telling you though. IT. WAS. FUCKING. HOT. (i'll be putting up the link in a bit and taking it down too you should totally take a look at it- cause the content is not mine neither do i know the guy but FUCK. THAT LOOKED LIKE OLIVER.) The free access to clothes 😭 Happy relationship = yandere bf + a very introverted partner oliver stealing my oversized clothes in the corner I'm an introverted person as well introverted enough to terrify a yandere as well istg- idk who that was, but it was rude to push shove someone and not apologize for it or even an excuse me. and the girl who spoiled wednesday, never saw her again. i get that someone's enthusiastic about a show, but at the same time... some consideration for people around you 😭 anyway, that times gone and i got a lot of better things to move onto like movies, working out and just overall, making myself happy and having a good day yk? *Sending hugs back*
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earth-wyrms · 9 days ago
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hi do you know the rage that helvetica and its evangelists evoke in me?? like fuck its not about helvetica helvetica - actual rage towards any font (yes even that one) is just a low effort meme: youre not funny. but as its cleanliness and uniformity has grown into modern design ethos like a cancer it has been chosen as the de-facto correct answer to any design problem. i thought that graphic design was the art of communication? did we not take the same classes?? yalls professors forget to tell you this????
i cant divine the exact reasons why this has happened. i have guesses and conspiracy theories but nothing useful. internally ive been calling it the "apple store problem" where good minimalism is really hard - nearly impossible to make human enough, but bad minimalism is hilariously easy. yes im a frank lloyd wright hater why do you ask. but all of these individual examples are just data points and i am stuck inside my mind with no identifiable root cause.
furthermore, and perhaps more important: - is it fair to critique an art movement on the basis of its incurious hacks? - doesnt every artist in every era feel like this? - isnt this just the feeling of having an Establishment against which we make our art? - isnt it okay that corporate art is always going to be "like that"? that all corporate art is always going to trend towards least common denominator, watered-down mass-appeal? - how careful do i have to be? when i sit here and complain that advertising of all things is more and more stale oatmeal how much am i yearning for a mythical perfect past where REAL artists made REAL art and not this degenerate* slop? - is it even worth it to try and ask that art in advertising be any good? like. its still art for advertising. yknow. the horrifying screeching mindless presence of light and sound that exists only to wring every living drop of attention, time, energy, and capitol out of humans until we are a barely living, shivering, bio-mechanical GDP booster whos only purpose is to feed the machine that hurts us. that advertising.
i think maybe theres more here than: clean lines bad and im bored
oh hi there, i see you making *word associations. yes, that is exactly what i was talking about, thansk for noticing: OG fascists and neo fascists love to cite how great art used to be before The Bad Times as a way to retroactively legitimize themselves and to propose a Good future where they win verses the Bad future where cops arent allowed to murder people. this regularly seeps like poison into conversations about mass-market art because they both sound like criticisms of the present. in discussions on the damaging relationship between art and commerce where most folks there are lamenting how the need to be advertiser friendly stunts communication and limits what art can even be made, you can regularly find little fascist shits whinging about the good ol days. when complaining about how capitalism is making it impossible to talk about sex or being black or being trans in your art make sure youre not inventing fictional pasts. there was never a The Good Times where only real artists prevailed. yes we are in a particularly censor-heavy, advertiser-friendliness-driven time on the internet BUT getting sucked into the rhetoric of how much society has devolved these days lands you in Neo Nazi Proximity Danger Zone.
where was i? oh yah: 1. charles eames can get fucked. 2. it is a good thing to demand more from the commercial art in your life 3. if youre bored of the same thing again and again try finding independent art projects that match your freak and come back to me 4. the achingly personal, earnest art you make will never be lowest common denominator marketable 5. do it anyways. make bad art that pisses people off. 6. i also hate helvetica for reasons that have nothing to do with this rant, its just not appealing to me. i like Baskerville and MCIR fonts
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queerrambles · 10 months ago
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Hi. This is going to be a LONG ASK. I'm sorry.
There's a nonbinary person in my English class (English is our second language,) and I accidentally misgender them all the time. They use different sets of pronouns in each language (the equivalents of she/her and he/him in our L1, but exclusively they/them in English,) so I get them mixed up ALL the time. I have told them that I don't do it on purpose and apologized for this, and they say they don't really mind, but I don't want to be that person, yknow? Specially because I am queer too and I fucking hate when people ignore my identity like that.
But it gets worse. They came out during a presentation in class. We had to tell an anecdote and they decided to talk about the first they went to the doctor to get HRT. So when they finished, I asked their pronouns, in front of classmates and the teacher. But everyone else but me who was present that day decided to just completely ignore this information. Also many students casually missed that class and we have many other teachers, so there's also a lot of people who didn't get the information at all. So they all just continued exclusively referring to this person as a she/her girl. And they never corrects them.
I really try to remember using they/them pronouns in English and only he/him in our native language to makeup for all the people who only use she/her, but again, I accidentally mess up all the fucking time. Other people using she/her for them so confidently confuses me.
But, this is the worst part, I don't correct other people who misgender them either. Because we are the only two openly queer people in our class, and I just fucking hate explaining queer stuff to nonqueer people. Even those who were there when they explained they're trans and want to be referred with other pronouns, nobody listened and I don't think they even understood what they meant. And I really don't want to be the one to explain it.
I don't try to get people to use multiple pronouns for me irl because, personally, I just don't want to have that conversation with nonqueer people. Specially people I only see in class but don't care at all about in my personal life. But I know this isn't about me. They wanted people to use those pronouns. All people. And I feel so bad. Even if they're not correcting us, it may be just because they don't want to argue or be "difficult"? They're very chill and quiet and don't like conflict. I don't want them to feel like not even the other queer person in the room is willing to support them. But. Well.
Ughh I feel like such an asshole, making this about me and my own comfort, and ignoring their wishes.
This situation has shown me that it's really easy to be a good person in theory but take the easy (bad) road in practice. It's so easy to defend hypothetical people in hypothetical situations, but when I actually meet a nonbinary person irl I don't know how to support them AND I AM NONBINARY TOO.
I should be supporting the people who come out of the closet, instead of trying to get them back in just because I'm not ready to come out too yet.
Idek I just needed to rant about this.
If you have any advice, I'll appreciate it, but I understand this ask is a mess, so no pressure. This is my issue and I need to be better, etc etc.
I just want to say that I'm sure that your classmate appreciates the effort you put into referring to them with the correct pronouns. People make mistakes. You're not a bad person for making mistakes. A bad person wouldn't care or try at all, or even be worried about this.
And keep in mind, you're not responsible for what other people do. It is in no way your fault that people keep using the wrong pronouns for your classmate. Your classmate explained that they want to be referred to in a certain way, and your other classmates chose to ignore their wishes. That's not on you. You're not at fault for their disrespect.
You say you want to support your classmate, but you do not want to correct other people for using the wrong pronouns. Something you could try is, when referring to your classmate, put a slight emphasis when you use their pronouns. It should be subtle but still noticeable.
And then, maybe on a day when you feel like you can handle it, you could try actually correcting 1 person. Just 1. I would recommend starting with a friend. And you don't have to explain a whole lot! You could say, "Some people prefer to be referred to in a neutral way." If they press, politely tell them that they should look it up on the internet. That way, you're not having to explain too much.
Remember: you are not a bad person! Everyone makes mistakes. You are not responsible for how other people behave.
If anyone else has anything they'd like to add, feel free to do so in a reblog or comment!
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iampikachuhearmeroar · 1 year ago
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yknow it's funny how people perceive you and how you (or personality tests lmao) perceive yourself/you. like last week at my cadetship grad, the manager of it said in her blurb about me, that I was "naturally shy and quiet, but she came out of her shell, eventually"... some of the people in the group around this time last year found out that if you load me up on wine and shots, that im super loud, kinda obnoxious, and wild... and kept trying to drag me back out on town in sydney.... and to also say "im the sexiest bitch here!!!!" even to their families lmao... someone in the course even called me "charismatic" in feedback, and it stayed with me for the rest of the program.
from years 7-10 (early to mid high school in 2008-2011), I was known for being all edgy, wild "not giving a fuck what people think about you" and "marching to your own drum", weird, loud, funny..... you get the picture.... at the catholic school I was at.
back then, i was NEVER deemed as quiet or "shy" or "introverted" or "keeps to herself" etc etc.... actually, by year 10, when lame buzzfeed and other personality quiz sites started to spit out that I was introverted and gave me other readings that weren't extroverted (eg. I remember doing one about "what aussie animal are you???" and it gave me koala (extremely introverted, shy, and sleepy) instead of kookaburra or cockatoo (which were both extreme examples of extroversion))..... I got SO FUCKING ANGRY that those quizzes were basically calling me a killjoy and boring, bc I was a koala who was the above listed characteristics. like hell, my drama class kept telling me to pursue comedy or do stand up (im not that funny tbh, in hindsight) bc I was just so talkative, loud and such a show off jackass that.... yeah, I might as well be a stand-up comic, throw it at me.
but then, when I moved schools in 2012 to public school, I played the precocious, diligent, modest/placid (except for my group), and timid former catholic school girl they thought I was (but really wasn't- we all know how) so well for my teachers.... that I basically got asked frequently by my bio teacher before I went to tafe every second thursday, "I really can't see how you EVER excelled in drama, when you're so flighty and nervous???? what were your marks like??? you never talk in this class or get up and address the school, like a drama kid would..... what do you mean you were nearly a straight A student in drama??? what on earth??? again, you're so introverted and thoughtful here at *insert the schools name here* that you possibly couldn't excel in that subject????"
like mr garrel, pls consider that I HATE biology and resent this line of questioning very much. also, NEVER say any of that to my drama teacher, I'm sure he'd fight you at this point. moreover, consider that drama isn't in the subject selection for my year. plus, y'all need funding for new drama room equipment, so that's why I'm quiet. and finally, I've learnt that being the loud show-off, weird, "you march to your own drum" girl for the ENTIRE year group for the first 4 years of high school, was much too tiring.... so now I just limit it to my friend group only.
now, back in the present day.... yesterday, I did a chatbot interview for kmart. where after I answered the 5 questions of it, it emailed me the "personality insights" from my answers. one of the insights basically said that, "you have no problem being the centre of attention, and you generally gravitate towards people who have the same energy as you. but have you ever considered piping the fuck down??? bc this may scare people, bc you seem not to let them voice their opinions. learn to sit and listen to others more often and dim your natural Loud Personality™️. "
like, I guess it's "I contain multitudes" and everything else, where you turn on different parts of your personality for different situations. like at work last year, I very much wanted to be left alone to do my fucking assessments.... and eventually, wanted to get out into the field to do home visits (inspections) and shit for my assessments.... but the place I worked at deemed me "too shy" for fieldwork, and just stuck me on back office phones for the entire rest of my cadetship.
but throw me into the cadetship group, and everyone always made me the leader of group projects or activities with powerpoints (when quite a few of them already knew how to use powerpoint, but they didn't want to do it.... so they just passed it onto me and called me the "powerpoint whiz")... and obvs the one night where a few of them got me wasted and met Loud Ilona™️ , that I started this post with.
and I know work is NOT the place to be my super extroverted performer self, so I'll get quiet and mousy in the back... and most esp in the trainee/cadet position I was in.... bc that's how I learn most of the time. by being quiet and thoughtful and methodical (while also being impulsive).... which that place (and also the kmart test picked this up through "you're easily distracted and that ruins productivity. pls consider staying on task and caring about productivity levels") really didn't want me to be.
anyway, yeah. it's something I'll always be wary about, how my personality presents itself to different people.... and also what mood I'm in when I do personality tests or job interviews. also the
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