#one of the dumber dreams i've had honestly

[daybreak-avenue]

Had a dream last night where Mohn from the Pokémon games remembered he had a family and finally, permanently, came home to them.

They held a public party at Aether Paradise for Mohn's return. Everyone important to the Alola region was there. The four Kahunas, their families, Professor Kukui and his wife, the recently-crowned league champion and his mother, etc.

Then this guy showed up:

He proceeded to dance all funny while Mohn, his kids, and their pokémon looked on, super confused.

My dream ended there. I'm somebody who's passively interested in Sonic the Hedgehog but all in on Pokémon, so...

What the heck was that?

[tetsunabouquet]

11, 17, 18, 24, please? :)

I honestly don't know how many and neither can I keep count (flip flops are like socks- there's always one that just disappears). They're mostly just regular sneakers or flip flops though. I mentioned this before in a post about my congenital claw toes, but most shoes aren't actually build for feet like mine. Other then my toes being shaped differently, my instep area is shaped also a little differently from other feet. Sneakers and flip flops are the only 'normal' shoes that are actually build for comfort so they are generally the only shoes I can wear. Inside my home I am always barefoot as even my good shoes feel like a bra to me- I am happy to take those off and have my feet just move and wiggle without something attached to them.

There are fashionable shoes that are orthopedic, but unfortunately the only orthopedic shoes I can get for free (or at an immense discount) through my health insurance are the boring grandma shoes, so I just stick to my sneakers.

Someone I can trust with my life and sees my happiness (and not just their own) as a top priority. Someone who isn't too stupid to annoy me, but I would like someone who is turnt on by my intelligence and is overall a 'little dumber' then I am because I am as vain about my skillset as I am about my beauty. Someone that loves animals and can appreciate the simple things in life. As a bisexual, for heterosexual romancde I'd say: A real man, and not a craven douchebag because the latter description befits both my father and maternal grandfather and I do not wish for history to repeat itself. That is my mom's mistake and it shall never be mine. When it comes to women I'd like: A woman with balls who doesn't accepts people's bullshit. I'm raised to be a strong bitch but I don't like being overtly dominant. I want someone who's my equal.

Also when it comes to women I'd like them to be strong but have a softer, feminine look about them. Have you ever heard of the Nickelodeon show House of Anubis? That originally was a Belgium-Dutch show that got remade in German and English. Nienke (the OG counterpart of Nina), was my sapphic childhood celebrity crush and she still heavily influences my taste to this day.

Fun story: But my third pair of earrings were actually done by this cute girl who looked a little like Loek Beernink (the actress name), and my heart was racing as she marked my body forever with those piercing needles. I still think about the piercing girl every once in a while.

Yes, I have always wanted them. However, with my various health issues I do want to make sure that if that stage in my life ever were to present myself that 1, am in an okay place with my physical health and 2, I have tested myself and my partner to how likely it is that our child is going to inherit something from me and my side of the family as almost everyone is neurodivergent and certain phsical conditions also run in the family. I want my child to be healthy and want them to have the gift I never had.

I do like to say though, is that with the current times, I am not sure if this is an enviroment I want my children to be born in and if I do have children, I am very much going to make sure wether their schools aren't teaching them propoganda or that they bring home the wrong friends. When I hear stupid things like that British schools are going to teach children things like afrocentrist lies that black people build Stonehenge and that they are the original inhabitants of Europe (something I've also heard is being said by some pro-BLM people in my country), I do very much fear for the current quality of children's education.

Baths. It's my dream to someday own a home where I can have the Jacuzzi my aunt used to have to be build into (yes my aunt had a Jacuzzi, because she was the luxurious middle class type). I remember bathing in it when I was a little kid, and that I switched the lights on to green and turnt on the bubble function. I pretended like I was being cooked in a witch's cauldron. The memory is dear to me.

[cc-kirby]

With the new fall season coming, my thoughts on the three Summer 2023 anime series I watched this year:

My Tiny Senpai: Loved loved loved this series. I came into it hoping to just get some lighthearted romantic fluff and came out of it getting even more than that even. Shiori was an angel and needs to be protected.

My two types of girls are tsunderes and fail girls and this series managed to give me two girls that are combinations of both in their own ways. Shinozaki's Sister and Hayakawa completely own my heart now.

The discourse surrounding the trailer was incredibly fucking stupid even when it was directly happening and as this series went along it really made it look even dumber in hindsight than it did before. If you don't like to watch move slowly this series will drive you nuts, and in episode 9 it makes a big decision that even had me raising an eyebrow and groaning a little bit before accepting that it wasn't going to be permanent (and I was right, thankfully). As someone who doesn't mind slow burn romance, especially when there's no love rival involved (the oldest of hats in any romantic comedy), I really enjoyed it. Lots of good, goofy comedy and two main protagonists you really do find yourself rooting for. Definitely worth a watch if you just want to see lighthearted office fluff.

The Dreaming Boy is a Realist: Man. I almost dropped this one. It really was getting there. This is one where it just doesn't just calm down. It throws like fifteen different characters at you and expects you to know and remember them right away and honestly the first few episodes of this show were insanely hard to follow, let alone the clunky, confusing script and dialogue.

The first few episodes were so overwhelming and the amount of times I had to pause to look up a character they'd mention by name that you only saw for a minute or two in a previous episode so you can be like "ah, that's who they're talking about. I remember them, I think? Maybe?" It kept getting worse and worse about this and I kept getting extremely close to dropping it before I'd give it one more chance mostly because some of the character designs are extremely cute. Even that wasn't saving the series though.

However, then it did something I completely wasn't expecting: it slowly got better. Slowly but surely, episode after episode, it started to breathe a little more and characters finally got fleshed out in the proper ways and you know what? I'm not going to say it became a good series, but it definitely very slowly improved and they even stuck the landing on the ending.

Was it too little too late? Maybe. It's such a bummer because by all accounts this seems like *such* a neat idea for a series (boy is so smothering to the girl that he likes (who doesn't like him back) that he finally has an epiphany that he's been stunting her and keeping her from making friends because they're all too weirded out by him hovering around her, and also realizing he'll never have a chance with her so he backs off (letting her finally grow and gain friends herself) and slowly gains major self-improvement to the point where he earns respect in places he'd have never expected and he becomes the person people come to for advice and he just becomes a better person overall while also slowly repairing his relationship with the girl) and from what I've heard the manga and the light novels are just so much better. They do an inner voice-monologue thing with the main boy that serves as him giving himself teaching lessons and advice that the anime FINALLY begins to explore near the end and if they had been doing that from the beginning they really would've had something.

Honestly the more I watched the more it made me want to read the light novel and manga because everyone swears up and down they're both miles better than the anime was. It just felt like the anime series didn't feel like it had enough time to properly convey all of the stories it wanted to share so they crammed a LOT into 12 episodes and gave nothing any room to breathe.

What this series has most going for it are some of the character designs. Rin is the exact type of girl, right down to personality, that I had a crush on all the time in high school, and Kei isn't too far behind. And of course Aika makes enough of those grumpy puffy tsundere faces that you understand why Wataru (WHY WAS HIS SISTER SO HOT THOUGH) had such a big crush on her, even if it led to him being so overbearing about it.

I would say you're probably fine passing on this one, but maybe give the light novel or manga a shot. I didn't hate it like I was expecting to but your mileage will vary. This one REALLY went out of its way to try and get better and it almost made it, to the point where I'm thumbs in the middle rather than down.

The Girl I Like Forgot Her Glasses: I figured this was gonna be the one that I most loved from the getgo, and honestly? It's a tough tie between it and My Tiny Senpai, but this might have the edge because it's the only one whose sweetness got me tearing up on multiple occasions, especially in the final episode, and it's all because Mie is one of the cutest dorkiest sweetheart girls on the planet. This series was the one that I went out of my way to zoom to where the manga currently is so I could follow along.

The biggest complaint I heard about this series was how it felt like she was constantly losing her glasses. I felt like I was going crazy because I felt like I was the only one who understood what they were going for. They aren't going to do entire episodes where she doesn't forget her glasses. They even mention, multiple times in multiple different episode, how it's been awhile since she last lost them. The entire point of the series is how Komura is getting closer to closer to Mie from the time they spend together when he takes care of her after she forgets, or breaks, her glasses. At about the halfway point in the series they even show that so much time has passed that they're in a new semester. I dunno, I feel like they were telegraphing this to the point that it should've been obvious, especially for someone who can be legendarily oblivious like myself.

Coming of age romance stories are some of my favorites. Hi Score Girl is a series that I only finally watched in 2023 and it affected me so much that it leaped into one of my five favorite series that I've ever seen. So basically, I knew I was gonna love this one from the premise alone. I will admit the weird art direction, especially in that first episode, drove me absolutely insane, and I was VERY thankful that they mostly knock that shit off pretty quickly afterward, because that almost killed the entire show for me.

Another one where the romance is slow, but it definitely moves at a faster pace than in My Tiny Senpai, and the slow developments really do make you root for the both of them, especially when it finally becomes obvious to Mie that she has feelings for Komura too. Her selfishness about it is completely adorable, and the series ends on such a sweet, high note, leaving you hopeful that these two will finally be able to communicate how they feel for each other, and that a season two would be wonderful.

Also, we need a season two so we can get more of Azuma, who I know as the manga keeps going gets more attention and story. I like how in the series to Komura he is like a rival for Mie's love but then to everyone else it becomes readily apparent that he knows these two have feelings for each other and in his own little ways he tries getting them to spend more time with each other. Between him and Sudo in Kubo Won't Let Me Be Invisible, 2023 should be the year of the cool wingmen.

A definite, and obvious watch recommendation. This one was so sweet, like a much needed hug after a long day.

[appareils-futiles]

I decided to restart my LiveJournal, cause personal blogging on tumblr, aint cutting it for me, the level of privacy I desire in this life and in this decade of life, require more than just a pin code privacy of tumblr. I'm still keeping my pages, particularly this one and @leniinero, I'll be updating regularly, but the way my family is set up, I'm just tired. My friend Lorenzo has the same problem, and it got me thinking back to when I was a tween, teen and until my mid 20s, how I felt the need to learn a whole new language just to be able to have some privacy because of all the snooping. It's wild that I can't even trust my own family, yet they wonder why I never share anything with them. I still haven't found a new case, and even received a call from a different agency who got my number from my current and I didnt even know that they were allowed to do that. I am so disillusioned with this career, and honestly saw the 600$ i spent on the training, the 3 weeks of classes and the UTI/Kidney infection I got as a result as pointless. I've been thinking a lot about my life, about where it all went wrong, about what I could of done differently, about the what ifs, the should have, the have nots, the listening to others, the fear of losing a mother that never really understood me in the first place and how she saw me growing up and maturing not as a good thing but as me defying her. The pain it caused me to know that the woman that birthed me, somehow, saw me as a fuck up, yet a pain of a past she kept herself from admitting. That somehow, I, this child was kept from all she was capable of because she never made it a point, through the hell and back one goes through being an immigrant, she never bothered to learn English. I remember the look she'd give me every time she'd tell me that opportunities slipped by her because she never learned the language yet looked at me as if i was to blame. As if birthing and raising me stumped her growth. As if I chose to be here. I'm haunted by the person I could of been and every birthday, I grow one year older and one year dumber, I weep for the me that never got to be, that never had the opportunity to be herself and was never celebrated, she turned into a cynical, sarcastic, depressed, confused woman. Who has so many ideas, dreams and goals floating around in her head, yet gets nauseaus and continues to psych herself out at the mere thought of making them come true. She's so used to people putting her down and telling her they are dumb or trash talking her, she can't think straight. What you tell kids/teens stays with them forever. Don't ever forget that. Yet people wonder why I never share anything. I'll be transferring the personal posts on here over time to my livejournal then deleting them. the blog and every other type of content will stay up.

[darkmulti]

Hi N 💗 I've been really mean and snappy to my younger sisters lately because of college and I've been feeling awful because of it. I'm seeing tutors to help lessen my stress, but it's not really working. We're supposed to come equipped with questions, but I don't even know what I don't know. I feel like someone needs to put me in my place, yell at me, and give me a good spanking. Could I get a dub con of tutor Jungkook punishing me to get my life together? Take your time and stay safe 😘

-> sorry for any mistakes

-> honestly, school is expecting too much from students. They want us to learn and do homework 24/7. Fuck school.

⚠️: DUB CON

Today your tutor, Jungkook was coming to your apartment

He attended the same university as you and passed the course you’re currently struggling with

He wasn’t a stranger so you invited him to your home since everything was closed due to the pandemic

He came early and got started right away

He was good at explaining but you couldn’t keep up

Nothing was adding up in your mind and honestly, you just wanted him to do your homework since he was so good at it

You started to day dream about your future until Jungkook noticed

“Y/N! Hey! Are you listening?!”

He pushed your shoulder and looked at you sternly

“I’m wasting my fucking time teaching you like this.” He threw a stack of papers in front of you and got up

“Do your fucking homework!”

“B-but I don’t know h-how.” You gulp and look down at the papers

“We’ve been fucking working on this for weeks, how do you still not know?!” He yelled, making you feel like complete shit

“Look at all the homework you’re behind on! What the fuck have you been doing this whole time?!” Jungkook stared you down until your phone buzzed

The screen lit up and showed a boy’s name with a red heart beside it

Jungkook raised one eyebrow then looked at you

“I see now. You’ve been day dreaming about this guy.” He picked up your phone and threw it across the room

You get up immediately and run towards your broken phone but Jungkook pulls you back and shoves you on the couch

“So this is why you’re so distracted. You’re just a fucking slut, seeking for a man’s attention.”

“W-what?”

“Who the fuck is texting you?”

“That’s none of your business.”

Jungkook got on top of you and started to grind his bulge against your slit

The sight of you being under him turned him on

He just wanted to dominate you at that point

So he did

He ripped open your shirt and pulled your skirt down

To his surprise you were wearing a black lingerie

He eyed your body before making eye contact with you

“Who did you wear this for?”

“N-no one.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me!”

He ripped your underwear and threw it someone before removing your bra

His hands unbuckled his belt while he spat at your entrance

As soon as his hard cock leaped out, he shoved it deep in you, making you gasp then moan

“Fuck! You’re so fucking tight!”

He placed his big hands on your tits and increased his pace, not letting you adjust to his big size

“God, you’re such a dumb slut! I’ve never met a girl dumber than you! While I’m trying to teach you something, you’re daydreaming about another man’s cock!”

He flipped you over onto your stomach and entered again

He pulled on your hair and spanked your ass like there was no tomorrow

“How many questions did you get wrong on your practice test?”

“N-nine questions.”

Jungkook stopped and spanked you really hard, making you wince

“Count!”

He had a heavy hand

Your ass was red after 3 spanks

It was burning too

Definitely was going to leave a bruise

9 spanks later, he started to thrust obnoxiously again

He gripped your hips and fucked you as hard as he could

You were too lost in pleasure to even talk

Soon, you felt his cock twitching inside you and before you could tell him to pull out, he filled his cum right into you

“Tomorrow I’m gonna come here again. If you don’t finish all your homework and pass your practice test, this will repeat but it’ll be much worse.”

[alirhi]

How I'd have done TFATWS pt 1

Okay, I am such a whore for positive attention that, yes, it literally only takes one person expressing interest to get me to do something lol. So, for the lovely @goblin-tea, here is how The Falcon and the Winter Soldier would have gone for Bucky if I'd been a writer on the show!

Also, shoutout to @gunshou, who popped up showing support when I was in the middle of writing this lol 😘

Episode 1: New World Order

I actually love how most of this episode was handled; it's what drew me into the show in the first place, and gave me such hope for the rest of it. Most of the changes that I'd make here are pretty minor, tbh.

I'd specify the setting in some way for Bucky's nightmare. Obviously, since he was there and knows what happened, when, and where he was, it wouldn't be like the setting changes in movies where they slap a big, bold title card over the scene. Still, I'd probably open with a brief establishing shot showing the city skyline or something; some identifying feature so that viewers can work out where this happened without needing a direct statement from Marvel (note: if you need to directly address your audience to clarify something from within your story, you're a bad storyteller). What year did this take place? I show technology from the time; perhaps a dated cell phone in someone's hand. The point is to establish where and when The Winter Soldier killed RJ Nakajima, without detracting from the emotional impact of the scene. Why does it matter? Because we should know why. Why is Bucky dreaming about this particular incident? Was it his last mission before the events of CA:TWS (a theory I see frequently repeated but with no evidence to back it up)? Was it earlier on? Is RJ only on the forefront of Bucky's mind because of his (unhealthy, but we'll get to that) friendship with Yori? How long has Yori been suffering under the weight of his grief?

I would not have had him crash through the wall, btw. As cool as that shot looked, let's try to remember that The Winter Soldier was a ghost story for 70 years. Ghosts don't leave giant gaping holes in hotel walls. I'm not saying brazen wholesale destruction is out of character for him (obviously not. I've seen CA:TWS lmao. many times. this moment lives rent-free in my brain:

found on google without credit; pls lmk if it's yours so I can credit.

but you don't become a "ghost story" if you always leave that much evidence, ijs)

I'd leave the terrible therapy session alone. That scene was beautiful. Beautifully shot; I loved how claustrophobic it felt, and it really did a wonderful job of showing how Bucky felt on the spot, scrutinized, almost put on display for this bitch woman. This scene establishes Raynor as clearly wrong, and an unprofessional mess, and Bucky calls her out on it. I fucking love that!

lmao gods, I love his painfully awkward forced smile... Guys, this episode is fkn great. (betcha weren't expecting so much praise from me, were you? 😂)

"You're free." "To do what?"

👆👆👆 In my show? That would have more of an impact on Bucky's arc. That question would be one of the underlying issues moving his whole story along. Twice in this show, he's told that he's free, but no one addresses what he's free from, much less what he's free to do next.

It's a minor thing, but when Yori tells Bucky to ask Leah out? I'd have Bucky do more than just shake his head in silent horror. Not much more, just something that matters to me as someone who's worked in the service industry for many, many years and dealt with too many creepos: Bucky would flat-out say "she's at work! that's harassment, Yori!"

Yori can still stomp right past that boundary, and Leah can still smile and agree. I just really want someone to verbally acknowledge that you don't fucking ask someone out when they're at work. Ever. Bucky cringing and apologizing puts the power of the conversation back in Leah's hands; it gives her an out to politely decline if she's not interested, and just laugh off Yori's flirting on Bucky's behalf as a senile old man being silly, so I'm actually fine with how this scene turned out. I just would personally have gone that extra inch there for the idiots in the audience who don't get Bucky's subtle "wtf" reaction and why Yori's suggestion was so bad. If someone's livelihood depends on being nice to you, keep your goddamn distance. Flirting with them or asking them out when they're at that big of a disadvantage and have virtually no power to say "no" is harassment.

Here is where I'd make one more subtle change, too. When Yori sees the mochi and is reminded of his son, and tells Bucky about his death, I'd just slip in a time frame. "x years ago, my son was..." blah. (Guys, it really bothers me not knowing when that scene took place rofl can you tell?)

One complaint I've seen a lot online about this show is how it's a bit murky on just how well known Bucky is in-universe. He can walk around Brooklyn with more or less total anonymity, but he's also recognized as "an Avenger" (when he was never actually technically in the group)... but honestly? I think it's actually pretty realistic. Just because someone's famous doesn't mean every single person on the planet knows who they are and what they look like well enough to instantly recognize them on the street. People look different in photos than in person, and pre-Blip, Bucky had the complete Jesus look - long flowing hair and a full beard. In TFATWS he's a little scruffy, but not this:

Sebastian looks like about 10 different men from one moment to the next just irl with a change in haircut, lighting, expression, whether or not he got enough sleep the night before... 😂 I don't really find it hard to believe that people not expecting to bump into an Avenger would have trouble seeing Bucky post-haircut as anything other than just another attractive white guy.

Anyway! Sorry for the segue lol. On to the date!

Earlier in this very same goddamn episode, it is established that Bucky can remotely operate a car with a tablet. This is not a technologically-inept geezer. This is a 30-something nerd who loves new technology, who, yes, is facing a brave new world and a whole lot of new technology, but has never shown any issue picking it up. The crappy flip phone he handed Raynor earlier? a burner to keep her out of what little personal life he does have (we never see it again in the real show, anyway). The "tiger photos" line? Stays, not to show Bucky's floundering ineptitude with technology, but as a little nod to his bisexuality. (don't like it? don't wanna see Bucky as bi? go watch the show and read Skogland's borderline-offensive interviews. This isn't "how I would pander to a homophobic audience" it's "how I would have written it." the "Bucky is bi" interpretation is super fucking common and has been since TFA so bite me 😁)

Tiny nitpick, but I'd also have the Battleship boards actually set up properly lmao. What even was that? Anyway...

I don't think I'd have Leah get all ranty about Yori and RJ. That's not first date talk, for one thing. For another, let's ease up on the beating Bucky and the audience over the head with that one incident in a single episode, shall we? Instead, I'd have her stick with the date questions - she asked his age, asked about his family; I'd have her follow it with questions about what he does for a living (giving us a chance to not only actually have that question answered for us - how the hell does Bucky keep himself from being homeless? lol - but also set up...)

He shuts down a little when she starts asking about his past; she's innocently curious, just trying to get to know him, but he's flinchy and deflects with questions about her. The date is awkward, but doesn't abruptly end with him running away lol. He walks Leah home, like the old-fashioned gentleman he is, goes home, himself, and end on him grimacing in his sleep, in the clutches of another nightmare: not as much detail as the RJ murder scene, we see disjointed, disorienting images of fluorescent lights glinting off of machinery, the occasional shot of Bucky writhing in the chair, a shot of that damned notebook (to remind the dumber audience members why Raynor's passive-aggressive notebook thing was so triggering for him), and we hear echoes of a couple of the trigger words, and Bucky's screams.

[voidstilesplease]

By the Angel, TALK

Warning: THIS IS AN ANTI-CLARY AND JACE SPOILER RANT because I need an avenue to let out some of the steam I've been holding off since starting City of Fallen Angels. So PLEASE SKIP AHEAD because I don't want to burden you all with my reading woes.

This thing centers on the beginning of Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire and a little bit of Chapter 8. About eight pages of bad, bad romance set me off.

To start,

The rest is under the cut, so you can go away now.

So, what's been happening to Clary and Jace thus far?

This book introduced them now as an official couple, picking up from the end of TMI Book 3: City of Glass. I don't remember their every scene since then to the point in Chapter 9 where I stopped, but basically, they're having relationship issues early on. They're less than two months into their relationship, and the drama is too frickin much. 

Jace has these weird dreams about murdering Clary and waking up guilty about his subconscious thoughts, so he goes angsting about it and avoiding her, snapping at her, being a total dick, and still question why people think they are on the brink of a break-up. 

So, Jace goes with Simon in the next few scenes, in his plight to get away from her as far as possible, yet still be somehow close by being around Clary's best friend to "protect" him, so his distant behavior will be reasonable and forgivable. Yeah, make that make sense. 🙄 But of course, one way or another, they're going to have to get to the confrontation part (that I still wish had been equivalent to an actual break-up), and so that's when Chapter 8 & 9 enters.

Chapter 8: Walk in Darkness pp. 185-186

Almost instantly, the light went out of them, and the remaining color drained out of his face. "I thought --- Simon said you weren't coming." ��

[...] "So you only came because you thought I wouldn't be here? [...] Were you ever planning on talking to me again? [...] If you're going to break it off, the least you could do is tell me, not just stop talking to me and leave me to figure it out on my own."

"Why does everyone keep goddamn asking me if I'm going to break up with you? [...]²

First, what an asshole?! 

[1] So Jace finally in-your-face's Clary and confirms that he has been keeping his distance like Clary has the plague. He then has the audacity to [2] be annoyed for being questioned on his intentions of keeping the relationship that he has been actively evading for days!

I get that Jace sucks in romantic relationships and has been fucked up by his daddy-issues, but he has the Lightwoods. Heck, Alec is his parabatai. He sees working relationships, so he has to have known that you don't just stop talking to people close to you and have them not question the behavior, whether you're trying to pull away from them or not. Otherwise, then Jace is dumb for all that he's marketed as the "best" Shadowhunter in his age. Screw that.

---

“You talked to Simon about us?" Clary shook her head. "Why? Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Because I can't talk to you," Jace said. "I can't talk to you, I can't be with you, I can't even look at you."³

[3] Way to make a girl feel special, Jace. Oh, no, yeah. He's trying to do the opposite and push her away with some teenage boy angst that doesn't make any sense. Like, who says that, though, aside from dramatic love interests that can't make a better excuse for going emo? 

That line IS TOO DRAMATIC that it hurts, ugh. 🤮

Anyway, so Clary walks out after that. I don't sympathize with her, but I'd do the same. Who wouldn't? Unless you freeze in the ridiculousness of the situation, that is, which is also likely.

Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire pp. 190-195

Now, here's the real shit. I want to quote this entire six-page scene back to Cassie and scream at her.

Clary reached the door and burst out into the rain-drenched evening air. [...] and was about to race across the street against the light when a hand caught her arm and spun her around.

It was Jace. [...] "Clary, didn't you hear me calling you?"

"Let go of me." Her voice shook.

"No. Not until you talk to me."⁴

[4] DUDE, what even happened to your I CAN'T TALK TO YOU, I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU speech, huh? Be consistent for once, apart from your douchebag routine. Make up your mind, Jace.

---

Still holding her by the arm, he half-dragged her around the van and into a narrow alley that bordered the Alto Bar. ⁵

[5] Man, I love a bit of rough loving in my literature, but I'm so pissed at you, Jace, don't even. Lay the hell off.

---

"I was going to tell you that I was trying to help out Simon. [...]

"And you couldn't tell me? Couldn't text me a single line letting me know where you were?"⁶ [...]

[...]

"I think," he said slowly, "that I thought that the closest thing to being with you was being with Simon. Watching out for him. I had some stupid idea that you'd realize I was doing it for you and forgive me---"⁷

[6] Addressing the lack of communication, that's a great path to follow. These two need to talk so bad. [7] But this line? Sucks Balls. You could be with her, Jacey, and save all the readers your drama if you only pull your head out of your ass and try to communicate. It's like you're allergic to it.

---

She took a step back, blindly, and nearly tripped over an abandoned speaker. Her bag slid to the ground as she put her hand out to right herself, but Jace was already there. He moved forward to catch her, and kept moving until her back hit the alley wall, and his arms were around her, and he was kissing her frantically.⁸

[8] Not only is this achingly cheesy, but it's also totally not the way they should be going off about their situation. They were already talking -arguing, yes, but they're still using words to reach out, and their relationship absolutely cannot be healthy without them. Thus far, they have spoken so less in comparison with the times they've spent canoodling. They're not solving anything by having drama on one second and getting it on with dramatic kissing on the next.

I don't care what Clary says about being so lost in love with Jace. He's treating her like shit. The least he can do is give her answers that she has the right to demand from him. Kissing is not an answer. But, well, maybe to Clary, it is because the next parts from page 192 to 194 are spent on softcore porn in a dark alley under the frickin rain. I bet that's a very romantic setting in their minds, huh.

---

And now this part:

It was nerve-wracking. She could feel the feverish heat that came off him; her hands were still on his shoulders, but it wasn't enough. She wanted him wrapped around her, holding her tight. "W-why," she breathed. "can't you talk to me? Why can't you look at me?"

He ducked his head down to look into her face. His eyes, surrounded by lashes darkened with rainwater, were impossibly gold.

"Because I love you."⁹

[9] Is that supposed to make me tingle? SET ME ON FIRE, but that is the lousiest I love you in books that I have ever read. AND IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, at all!

Shut up with this, can you please. It's not romantic at all. It's a dumb excuse and an even dumber love from the two dumbest people in this whole frickin series. Oh my god.

Clary, realistically, will frown at this answer. She will pull the hell away and spat him in the face with how demeaning his love is if it can make her sick to the stomach with thinking he has already gone bored and is only cooking the perfect way to cut off their connection. He hasn't given her a sound reason, only desperate declarations of love like he's trying to convince them both that it's true. And it doesn't make sense how she's still plastered around him in the cold, trying to convince the readers that every word from Jace has deeper meanings that she understands no matter how gibberish they are. I'm not buying that, okay? Stop selling your larger-than-life connection bullshit because that isn't real.

You've only been together for two months, okay? The strongest you can feel for each other is lust. And it's showing.

---

His hands slid down to her waist and he kissed her, long and lingering, making her shudder.

She pulled away, "That doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does this," he said, "but I don't care. I'm sick of trying to pretend I can live without you. Don't you understand that? Can't you see it's killing me?"¹⁰

She stared at him. She could see that he meant what he said [...] Her desire for answers battled the more primal part of her brain, and lost. "Kiss me then,"¹¹

[10] NOBODY THREATENED YOU UNDER BLADE TO DO THAT BULLSHIT, so shut the hell up with the whining. [11] and Clary, I am so disappointed. You've both just drained me, and I'm dry inside like a raisin.

The next paragraphs describe their very erotic kissing against the wall. Jace, propping her up and her legs around his waist bull crap. Seriously? Am I supposed to believe these two are, what sixteen?- up until Isabelle thankfully ruins their moment by kicking a garbage can that would look better with Jace and Clary in it tbh.

---

And the nastiest horseshit of all:

Clary looked at Jace. At any other time, they would have laughed together at Isabelle's moodiness, but there was no humor in his expression, and she knew immediately that whatever they had had between them ---whatever had blossomed out of his momentary lack of control--- it was gone now. [...]

"Jace---" she took a step toward him.

"Don't," he said, his voice very rough. "I can't."¹²

And then he was gone [...]

[12] No, I frickin CANNOT. His actions keep on contradicting his words, and he's fickle and can't decide which mood to settle, and it's so exhausting, honestly. He wasted a few pages for a cosmic, meaningless declaration of feelings. They're empty words. At this point, I believe the writing only strives to convince the readers that these characters care for each other but is shitty at showing it.

It's not love, because they say it is love.

---

I was already gaining hope for this book, and then one simple few-pages scene with clace squishes it, smearing the innards on my face.

Honestly, TALK OR TAKE A BREAK. This back and forth can't continue throughout the rest of the book or -heaven forbid- the rest of the series. Or at least, put these characters in the background if they really must drag on this problem, because I care not a lick.

Bye.

[colour-outside-the-liness]

First of all!! Loved the MoU fic update! left you a comment on AO3 and all. 10/10 ratings haha.

Secondly, moving countries is great you should try if you ever get a chance. I've always wanted to do that and jumped in on the first opportunity I got to make that dream come true, and I recgozine how lucky I am to be able to do so. It's definitely not easy but I'd do it again if I could (in true sag fashion 😎 haha). Where would you want to live? You ever been outside the UK?

Hahaha you and I in a team would be a nightmare to play against I think. Oh come on you absolutely do not deserve people questioning your intelligence! I like to play dumb in addition to the taunting so people underestimate me, they never see it coming when I win. They never see the cheating coming either, my friends are always shocked when they find out, but I do it almost every single time! 😂 I'm competitive too but I like to play it cool especially If I lose I'll be like "it's just a game calm down yall" but if I win I'm like "in your face losers!" (very mature I know).

I love your drunken story, though does sound like it was very dangerous so I'm glad nothing bad happened to you two! Ah I love yalls nordern accent (me and everyone in this fandom 😂) haha your friend's sense of humor is golden.👌 I'm glad you enjoyed my worst drunken experience, that was the last time I did something like that, I felt bad bc my best friend had to take care of me the whole night and you're right she should've told me it was just a rock! Lucky you you didn't get a hangover the day after, I certainly regretted drinking too much that night however fun it might have been haha.

Like I said before your niece is a really cool kid haha I'm glad you have someone to talk to about Bly Manor, don't know anyone who watches the show and my friends don't like scary stuff so I have to talk to myself about it 😂 and now you! Thank you for entertaining me ;) and I only watch the parts I really like now, I'm tired of crying every time I watch the whole show haha.

Do you do random accents really badly like Dani too? 😂 it is kinda funny your mom said it like that yeah hahaha maybe she just meant the good bits? And I mean, do you think you need help? Lol

I have a sneak peek of that damie fanart here, don't think I'll ever finish it tho. I want to do a medieval AU inspired fanart. Maybe it will also inspire someone to pick up the idea and write it haha.

How's your weekend been so far? My neighbor is making me watch Grey's Anatomy season (???) 500 idk but I wish I was reading that pirate AU instead 😂

Awwh thank you so much!! I will get around to replying to the comment on AO3 tomorrow when I reply to the others I've had a very busy day today though so haven't even had chance to read any comments yet but thank you so much for giving it a 10/10!! I wanna do it as soon as I get chance but I know it's gonna be hard and that I am gonna need a bit more money behind me first but I definitely wanna do it when I can... yeah I've been out of the UK twice- one time I went to France for the weekend when I was doing my A Levels and was like 17 the college I was studying at took some of the art kids and since I was doing a photography A Level I got to go and then a couple of years ago I went to LA for a few weeks which was great but I've never been out of the UK for longer than that!! A nightmare for everyone else but it would be hilarious for us I just know it would haha... I sometimes do I have said some dumb things, I actually used one of my dumber moments as a funny little story in one of my fics- people still laugh at me now for what I said and it's been 10 years... my roommate will not let me live it down!! See surprising people that way is always brilliant like when people just expect you to lose and then you win? That's the best kind of win in my eyes!! I don't cheat at games I am just ridiculously competitive and can't stand losing unless it's something like a video game I am okay with losing those but board games I can't stand losing and I am also a terrible winner my roommate won't play games with me anymore!! I can't say anything about anyone being that kind of a winner because I know I am and one of my sister's is terrible too we literally make a song and dance over winning Oh it was so dangerous and we were so dumb to do it like anything could've happened and we both sit and look back at that and go "man we were dumb" but I also sit and go "oh my god she's gonna be a mum in like 4 months" because we've done some crazy / stupid stuff!! My roommate is without a doubt one of the funniest people I have ever met and she's not afraid to tell it how it is... I'll admit because I have a Northern accent Jamie is like the only character on Bly Manor to not have an accent to me so when I hear people talking about her accent I'm always a little like "what?" Because to me that's just how people talk around here haha I did enjoy your drunken story and honestly we've all been there I have had to be taken care of on more than one occasion for being too drunk like to the point of people having to help me into my pyjamas and everything I've been in some bad ways haha!! She should've definitely told you it was just a rock and not a turtle!! Yeah I've only had one hangover and that was after a night of drinking where I blacked out and don't remember any of the night!! Yeah the night of the drinking is always fun- the hangover isn't though and often makes you wonder if it was worth it haha She's so cool like genuinely just a cool and funny kid and she just asks all the questions about shows she's watched so with me its Bly Manor with her mum and dad it's Stranger Things she asked me about it once but I had to tell her I'd never watched it she didn't seem impressed but yeah I'll talk to her about Bly Manor any day of the week- and you too now honestly I will talk about it to anyone that will listen... I can't not watch it all if I watch it because there's just so much about it that I love even if it makes me cry... episodes 4,6, and 8 are my favourites though and are probably the ones I have watched the most!! Yeah I do random accents all the time and they're always terrible but I always find myself really funny- I had this friend at Uni that had a slight southern English accent because he had spent most of his childhood there before moving up north and he still said certain words in a southern accent and I used to do his accent all the time but it was always terrible!! Oh yeah my mum is pretty blunt with stuff like she'll say things sometimes without thinking about how it sounds that or she just doesn't care like she's said

somethings haha I am sure she did mean the Dani thing in a nice way though because she said she liked her- Dani and Owen were her favourites and I mean some help for me wouldn't be a terrible thing I'll admit haha That fan art is incredible!! Like seriously amazing!! I would love to see some medieval fan art for Damie!! I have been sent a few medieval prompts for Damie and I have started writing some of them but it's taking time to actually get full chapters together but once I have and once I have more time from wrapping up other WIPs I'll make a start on editing and uploading those because medieval stuff is always great!! It's been good thank so far today I went to a little beach town with my mum, 2 of my sisters their partners and two of my nieces (my cool niece was one of them… not that my other niece isn’t cool but you know what I mean) and me, my two brother in laws, and my nieces all played a game of crazy golf while my mum and sisters went to a cafe and had cups of tea... they didn't wanna play with us but we still had fun while we played (I came second which I was very happy with)!! I hope you enjoy Grey's Anatomy and that you get chance to read the pirate AU soon!! It's soo good!! ��️

[dnpsuck]

i'm a lesbian so you already know i'm a dummy dumb. i've had a big crush FOR YEARS on this girl who's kinda my best friend (also 100% gay) and like 2 years ago she met this other girl and she kept talking about her with me (i didn't mind at all tbh they would've look/looked cute together lmao) but like at the beginning of this summer she suddenly stopped and like one day she kept calling me with my name and her surname 1/2

& today when i saw her she talked about how she's disgusted about how she was dating boys at 13/14 & i remembered at the time she kept talking about how we would look together (but saying things like ew would never) & LIKE WHEN SHE FUCKING PLANNED HER DREAM HOUSE WITH ONE BEDROOM AND TWO GUESTS ROOMS EVEN THO SHE SAID I WAS GONNA LIVE WITH HER ?? like honestly i need help she's just so fucking beautiful i'm barely a 2 and last year she kept implying i was ugly?? so i am confusion lola explain

i...... am even dumber than you. kiss her and see what happens