#one of my prouder posts

[sugarwithsarcasm]

Was it so much for Dipper to ask to get to explore Gravity Falls without the forest throwing a complete wrench at him and ruining his plans? It was always either a) a massive threat that would harm him and trap him in the woods or b) a minor inconvenience that took way more time to solve than it should have.

But even Mabel didn't have being forced to marry a Gnome king (?) in front of his boyfriend who would just laugh at him on her "Reasons why Dipper STILL isn't back yet" bingo card.

Dipper cursed under his breath at the tiny gang of gnomes who cackled as they led him to the tallest building in their gnome village, (about the height of the absolutely ancient speaker set that Grunkle Stan refused to give away because “it still works, if you want one of those fancy bluetooth speakers either steal it or buy it yourself kid!”) pulling him along a loose vine near his hip, forcing him to walk past the gnome village, bound tightly by a bunch of vines after accidentally falling into their “wife trap” while trying to inspect velociraptor prints he had found in the edge of the forest.

“Wooo eee, boss yer not gonna BELIEVE THIS!!!” The white-bearded gnome who sounded eerily like Mcgucket knocked on the door. The door opened, the king gnome (?) walking out of his tiny castle, luckily saving Dipper the humiliation of having to crawl on his belly to enter.

“My WIFE TRAP!!!” The man cried out, doing a little dance, clicking his heels together in the air. “It’s finally gone and trapped me a wife!!” He leered at Dipper, smirking.

“But sir!” A weirdly buff gnome who he assumed was this gnome king’s (??) the bodyguard interrupted his happy dance. “This human appears to be a male!”

The gnome king (???) frowned at him, causing the buff gnome to cower. “You ain’t think I got eyeballs Jerry?! Of course I know he’s male, but look at ‘em, he’s feminine enough for me to consider him my wife!”

“ Excuse you.” Dipper scowled at the brown-bearded gnome, exasperated with himself for having screwed up on enough life decisions to lead him to being in a situation where his masculinity was being insulted by an elderly gnome. “Anyways, there seems to be a misunderstanding, I am not getting married to some elderly garden gnome, I just lost my step in the forest so if you could please just let me go-”

“Silence!” The gnome king (????) gestured for Jerry the buff gnome to kick Dipper’s ankles. “You will be my wife, I have wasted enough of my vines catching stupid phoenix’s and unicorn, I will not be passing on such a wonderful opportunity.”

Before Dipper had a chance to use rather colorful language to curse this gnome out, the Mcgucket gnome interjected, “Now, now, as the town lawyer, I must remind ya sir that there is a rule against forcing the victim of your wife trap to marry yer without the consent of the wife.”

Dipper was about to celebrate, but instead noticed the smug grin of the gnome king (?????), killing any remaining hope he had. “Well, well, well. You think I didn’t know that? My ex-wife’s failed attempts to murder me is the reason that their law was put in place!”

Dipper sighed heavily, thoroughly regretting his life decisions, “I wonder if I just fall forward if the impact of this castle would be enough to give me a concussion?”

The gnome king (??????) ignored him and continued, “So I decided to make sure that any new wife caught in my wife trap would consent to being my wife beforehand! Look closely at the vine he got caught in gentlemen.”

Jerry the buff gnome snatched the loose vine from McGucket the gnomes hand, squinting his eyes as he examined it, “By stepping on this here vine and getting stuck like a dinosaur in amber, you consent to be Jeff Geoff Goffrey’s wife.”

“Well bury me in the ground and call me a groundhog,” McGucket gnome snapped his fingers, “I’ll be darn tooting, looks like you’ve got yourself a wife who finally consents to being your wife!”

“What?! No!!!” Dipper yelped, “I couldn’t have possibly had read that, the writings to tiny! Plus it’s a VINE in a FOREST! I can’t be expected to examine every single vine I come across for an agreement to marriage!”

“Jerry,” The gnome king dismissed him again (no wonder he couldn’t find a wife naturally) “go send the Wedding Invitations to the Mystery Shack and stop by to get a cake on your way back, the wedding will be at sunset!” Jerry the buff gnome nodded and quickly began awkwardly jogging out into the forest. “Jason, go and invite the boys from the neighboring gnome villages – you know who I like and who I don’t – and tell them about my wedding and keep an eye on my bride, I need to start preparing for my big day!” And before Dipper could get out another word, the tiny gnome door was slammed shut on him.

“Ugh, this is not fair! That contract has got to be breaking some kind of laws or, or something!” Dipper sputtered, glancing at Jason, the gnome who gave him a blank looking smile.

“I don’t really agree either if it helps!” He beamed, as if expecting validation and praise from Dipper who merely rolled his eyes.

“Well you're a lawyer! Raise a complaint, find a judge to review the situation or something!”

“I would kid, but cases take ages to get reviewed by a judge around here,” he began leading Dipper into the woods, “I’m the town’s only judge, and I got a nasty habit of putting things off until the last minute.”

Yeah, Dipper was screwed.

---

Bill cackled as he ran up from Ford’s basement after the boring old elderly man had thrown him out for messing with his experiment. Much to this amusement, at the exact moment he entered, he saw Mabel speeding towards the front door and flinging it open, excitedly struggling to open an envelope.

“What’cha got there shooting star? Anyone died recently making you expect a big inheritance?” Bill casually walked over to Mabel, peering over her shoulder at the envelope.

“Nope! Even better!!!” She clawed at the sticky envelope, “I ordered a raffle ticket into the Bad Boyz 4 eva ultimate fan experience concert! My tickets should be getting here any day now, since Waddles already told me I’d win and that oinker of mine is totally psychic.” She began biting at the letter and finally ripped it open.

Her look of excitement quickly dropped to a frown. “Well? What’s it say?”

She sighed, mumbling how she was “too old to deal with this shit.” After a moment she cleared her throat and read in her best impression of a gnome, “Dear residents of the Mystery Shack, you are passive-aggressively invited to attend the totally not forced union of Jeff Geoff Goffrey and Dipper Pines. I still don’t like you, but I want to rub in your faces that I’ve moved on from Mabel Pines. Gifts are mandatory if you want to attend. The wedding is at sunset tonight, the same place as last time. P.S I attached a lock of my future wife’s hair as proof this is totally not a trap. Stay jealous haters.”

Bill cackled, “Man, what did he do now to get him all caught up by a bunch of gnomes? I swear, your brother sometimes even surprises ME.”

Mabel sighed and shook her head, shrieking as a lock of soft looking brown hair fell out of the envelope. “Oooo, do you think that’s actually Dipper’s hair and not like a Grizzly or something?”

Bill took one glance at it and could immediately recognize it as Dipper’s, “Nah, it's totally Pine Tree’s. I know for sure. It’s his hair color and has the same texture.”

Mabel gave him a blank expression, “That’s a little weird Bill.”

He laughed, “If you want to hear weird than–”

“Lalalalala, going to my happy place, pushing Waddles around in a baby stroller at Disneyland!” She singed, plugging her ears with her fingers. “Anyways, tell Dipper I can’t make it because I have a totally hot date with Pacifica today.” Mabel waltzed out of the room hallway and into her bedroom, still singing.

Bill grinned, he couldn’t wait to crash the wedding.

---

“Now I know ya might be nervous,” Jason the gnome lectured Dipper as he tugged him along (he had really hoped they would’ve untied him by now, his arms and legs were sore and his feet hurt from having to hop everywhere.) “But when yer on the verge of a panic attack cause yer so overcome with excitement, just do what I do to calm down, breathe, acclimate, relax and focus, or BARF for short!!!”

Dipper sighed as he turned to walk down the aisle, dressed in some makeshift white cloth they had draped over him that they called a wedding gown and a flower crown. He noticed a horde of gnomes, the only person he recognized was his boyfriend Bill who was grinning at him evilly.

“You look absolutely stunning sapling, I must say, for such a rushed wedding-” Bill started as he passed him.

“Oh shut it and get me out of here already!” Dipper barked at him, earning a tug from Jason and a snicker from Bill.

“Nah, I think I’ll just watch the show. It’s about time you suffer the consequences from barking up the wrong tree, Pine Tree.” Bill smirked and sat back down with the rest of the gnomes on the floor when Dipper reached the front of the altar, where the gnome king (????????) was beaming at him.

Jason the gnome held onto Dipper with the vine, but moved in the middle of him and Jeff. “Gentle-gnomes! We are gathered here today to celebrate the wife trapping of Jeff Geoff Goffrey!” The gnomes in the crowd cheered, Bill, who Dipper was staring at out of the corner of his eyes, simply raised an eyebrow at Dipper and then winked, clearly very amused. “To begin, Jeff, you may now kiss your bride!”

“ What .” Dipper felt his face fluster as he came face to face with Jeff the gnome, who had his lips puckered, making obnoxious kissing noises. He hoped that Bill would see this as the time to interject, knowing his boyfriend’s jealous streak, but much to his surprise Bill seemed to be trying his best not to burst out into laughter. “No! Isn’t this part supposed to come at the very end of the wedding?!?”

“Well urm,” Jason the gnome scratched his head with his free hand, “that’s a very good point. But as per the request of Jeff Geoff Goffrey, I decided to shorten up the wedding a bit, I got a surgery to perform tomorrow morning y'know?”

“Enough with the chitter chatter,” Jeff barked, before leaning in and cupping Dipper’s face with his grubby hands, pulling him close to his face…and then closer… and then bam! Dipper felt the taste of maple syrup as Jeff’s much too chapped lip met with his, he felt like he was going to barf, so tried to take a moment to follow Jason’s instructions to barf, but recoiled in disgust as Jeff attempted to bite his bottom lip.

The forest erupted in the cheers of gnomes, continuing even after Dipper had squirmed out of Jeff’s grasp. The second he broke the kiss, he sent a worried glance over at Bill, fearing that the his dream demon boyfriend would somehow be mad at him for practically cheating on him, but was instead very annoyed as he looked over at Bill who was practically dying of genuine laughter, to the point where he was wheezing and grabbing the attention of the very annoyed gnomes surrounding him.

“Gentle-gnomes!” Jason the Gnome announced once the applause (and hysterical hyena laughs) had begun dying out. “Before we concede and make this official, are there any of you who wish to oppose this union and agree to a duel against Jeff.”

Dipper smiled to himself as he watched Bill slowly get up, still chuckling to himself. “I have an opposition to this union!”

The room gasped, gnomes moving out of Bill’s way staring at him in shock as he sauntered over to Dipper, grinning. Jeff huffed and crossed his arms, “And what might that be?”

“You see, it just so happens that your so-called wife is madly in love with me, like, to the point of obsession.” He looked over at Dipper, mischief in his eyes, “Like, it’s very concerning Dipper.”

“Oh shut up,” Dipper rolled his eyes, trying his best to hide the wide smile on his face, “it’s about time you do something. I was starting to reconsider cuddling.”

Bill pouted at him, before breaking out into an even bigger grin, “and after having to watch your lame attempt at a kiss,” Jeff’s face began to grow red with anger or embarrassment, probably both, “I thought I’d finally entertain my poor little sapling and give you a lesson on what a real kiss is like.”

And with that he leaned over to Dipper, the vines binding him together disintegrating as he touched them. Dipper couldn’t hide the smile on his face any longer, and smiled wider when he noticed a similar beaming look on Bill’s face. Bill wrapped his arms around Dipper’s mid-back and pressed their foreheads together for a moment, before unexpectedly dipping him kissing him, the flower crown he was wearing slipping off and falling to the ground with a silent thud.

Dipper enjoyed kissing Bill, more than he’d ever admit to the already overly arrogant dream demon. This kiss wasn’t as emotional as their first one, as fiery as their occasional late night ones or as desperate and relieved as his heartbreaking ones, instead, it was comfortable, almost routine. The way Bill grabbed Dipper firmly, yet kissed him so gently and caringly, as if Bill was scared of breaking him, made his head dizzy. The feeling of Bill’s soft lips pressing against his slightly chapped lips, without any of the extra add ons and bells and whistles of kissing was bliss and Dipper was certain he could’ve happily melted right there in Bill’s arms.

That is, if they weren’t kissing in front of about 45 horrified looking gnomes.

The sound of Jeff clearing his throat broke the kiss between the two of them, Bill holding firmly onto Dipper and bringing him close to his chest, now in an upright position. “And that, my dear short gardening decoration, is how you woo a Pine Tree.” He said smugly, resting his chin on Dipper’s embarrassingly dirty hair.

“This-” Jeff stumbled on his words, yelling something in a language Dipper didn’t recognize (that Bill would later tell him was Finnish, because hey, why the heck not?) and then jumping off his little make-shift podium and attacking Bill’s leg.

Bill cackled at the gnome. “Oh you wanna fight? Well, my next move I guess HUH? Hold onto your cap kid!” He shook his leg, dropping Jeff to the ground, and then promptly kicking him so hard he flew above the trees and into the horizon, screams of revenge echoing throughout the forest.

The gnomes screeched as they saw their gnome king (?????????) fly off into the now starry night sky, with the exception of one gnome that just yelled “Shmebulock!” in a victorious tone.

“Come on kid, let’s go home.” Bill grinned, grabbing one arm around Dipper’s waist and snapping his other hand. In one quick, dizzying moment, they returned to their room in the shack, still entangled in each other’s arms.

“You’re such an asshole. ” Dipper tried to scowl and push Bill away. “Making me go through all of that. How I have the patience to deal with you astounds me.”

Bill laughed, “Ah, but kid, you should have seen the look of horror and disgust on your face! In my defense I’m a demon, these things are hilarious to me.” Bill pulled Dipper closer to him, nudging Dipper to look him eye to eye, their noses brushing against each other. “You knew this and yet look at you, voluntarily exchanging passionate kisses with a dream demon in public.” He pressed a soft, quick kiss against Dipper’s lips.

“Yeah yeah, I didn’t agree with the public meaning in front of an entire village of gnomes though.” Dipper swatted Bill’s chest, secretly relishing in his warm laughter.

“Aw come on kid, be honest with yourself, you’d get yourself in situations like these all the time if I wasn’t here! Don’t give me all the credit,” he kissed Dipper’s cheek, “your the train wreck in this relationship.”

“Excuse you.” Dipper frowned. “Anyways, I’m gonna go take a quick shower, feel dirty after being abandoned for a whole day from my asshole boyfriend-”

Bill snapped his fingers, and suddenly Dipper felt refreshed and clean. “Done,” Bill smiled, flopping down into their shared bed, “come cuddle with meeee.”

Dipper gave him a strange look, “someone’s extra affectionate today?”

“Don’t be difficult Pine Tree, I can still easily snap you out of this plane’s existence.”

“Alright, alright,” Dipper raised his hands, before climbing under the blankets with Bill, “there. Happy?”

Bill hummed in response, hugging Dipper from his back, leaving a small trail of kisses from his neck to his jaw. Dipper relaxed in the affectionate and comfortable gesture, the exhaustion of the day slowly wearing him down.

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, he heard Bill whisper in his ear, “Sapling? This whole marriage stuff…the whole human societal convention where you brag about love and commitment and all of that other fake jazz done to make partner’s feel more guilty about breaking up..what do you think about it?”

“Hmm? Marriage? I think it’s pretty sweet actually. Getting to exchange vows and tell each other how much you love and are devoted to each other in front of close friends. I guess I always imagined myself having one and kind of got attached to the romantics of it all.” Dipper mumbled, half asleep.

Bill flipped Dipper over so they were facing each other. He could see Bill with a soft smile, a special smile he knew was reserved just for him, through his half-lidded eyes. “Sapling, my little Pine Tree, I have given you my demon form, my mind, my black hole of a heart and if I still had it I wouldn’t think twice before giving you my soul. It scares me how much I’d sacrifice for you and how much you make me feel…undemon to say the least kid.” He squeezed Dipper, “Maybe I haven’t shoved cake in your face in front of your sister, but make no mistake my little sapling, I’ve been devoted since day one.”

“I know, Bill. Don’t worry. I love you too, asshole.” Dipper mumbled, beaming as he began to doze off.

“I love you too sapling,” he pressed a kiss to the stars on Dipper’s forehead, before drifting off to sleep himself, “more than you may ever realize.”

Dipper dreamed of weddings that day, not a disastrous one, but a happy, romantic one, the kind he’d envisioned for himself when he was twelve and watching say yes to the dress reruns with Mabel. He knew though, that wouldn’t happen. Bill mocked human conventions constantly, and the concept of marriage itself was not free from Bill’s wrath. But, it didn’t really matter to Dipper if he was being honest, he was content where he was with Bill at that moment in time, he was happy with it all.

Little did he know, Bill had gone ring shopping with Mabel that very next day.

[lunarharp]

into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.

the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the witch.

for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.

the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.

but they were never whole to begin with, were they?

qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.

olly says nothing.

[vellichorom]

Alright this may sound weird as heck but I wana see how you draw blood. It says a lot about an artist, the way they draw blood

does it really? well, well - I think I can supply you with some of my Messier pieces, just to give you an idea!

I'd like to think I'm pretty skilled with blood, but... I'll let you be the judge!

cw // bloody, gorey pieces down below. stay safe!

[servegrilledcheese]

i have developed the habit to check tumblr at the time ur legacy posts go up (which is very conveniently the time i wind down for the day. south east asia slay i guess) and i find it very exciting to open tumblr at 11pm everyday, so thank u for blessing us with before bedtime goodness <3

thank you mom. 😭 though i am going to have to disappoint by not posting as consistently as i used to. managing a queue and simultaneously coming up with new posts before the queue runs out is creatively stifling me, and i end up not liking the posts i have prepared as a result. i’d like to enjoy viewing my own posts and sometimes that takes a lot of work to achieve. 🫠

[babybasher]

i wish i was in more rain worlld community space thingss. ik i keep myself very multifandom (can i even say multifandom? its more like. multi interest. idk if im IN a fandom) but a lot of my gatherings of things on my main is from homestuck and mspfa. so my rain world stuff always flops. that and i dont really know any rain world social groups on discord other than the Big main server and that one is scary i can't talk there. im gonna let out a big sigh and hope a magical fairy godmother will swing her wand at me and let me be big and happy one day

[sapphosboy]

Having repressed memories unlocked very suddenly, is a really terrible experience by the way. Like did not need to see a video of an incredibly traumatizing moment show up on the family digital slideshow but thanks :)

[fastandcarlos]

Our Little Baby : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen

summary: the one that is a series of social posts that journey you and max welcoming your little baby…

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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 407,291 others

ynusername: if there was a competition for man most obsessed with a baby bump max would definitely win btw

37,027 comments

username1: I can’t cope with how adorable these two are 😭

landonorris: if this is an sos yn just lemme know and I’ll hunt him down 😂

maxverstappen1 @/landonorris excuse me for loving my wife and child 🙄

username2: I just know that seashell heart is absolutely max’s creation!!

lilymhe: can you stop making me want to have a baby pls 🥺

alex_albon: @/lilymhe I can very quickly put a stop to that if you want me to!?

ynusername: @/alex_albon stop being a party pooper and give the girl what she wants 😉

username3: can’t wait to see max become the softest dad in the world…

charles_leclerc: can’t wait for the baby to arrive now, do you think you could tell him to hurry up? 😂

schecoperez: the way he talks about your bump in the garage I couldn’t agree with you more!!

username4: have you ever met a cuter couple in your life???

maxverstappen1: and I couldn’t be prouder too…guilty as charged 🙌🏻

username5: poor max will be lost when the baby arrives and yn’s bump disappears 🥺

danielricciardo: I remember the old days when he used to make breakfast like that for me 💔

ynusername: @/danielricciardo you’re welcome to third wheel anytime 😘

username6: these two are goals and no one can tell me otherwise 😂

carmenmmundt: I am so obsessed with how beautiful you and pregnancy are together ✨

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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 3,058,172 others

maxverstappen1: life lately…and I wouldn’t have it any other way 🥺🍼

274,071 comments

username7: all the little outfits…I can’t wait to see him in them 🫠

charles_leclerc: dude you are just gonna be the cutest dad in the world with posts like these

landonorris: does this mean I’m as valuable in your life as your wife and child??

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris I wouldn’t quite stretch that far 😂

username8: ofc lando still ended up making the photo dump 😂

redbullracing: admin is still wondering where all the merch is in that wardrobe???

username9: everything about this makes my heart so incredibly happy ✨

carmenmmundt: I spy the orange baby grow that me and george bought for your baby shower 🥺

username10: pls stop max I can’t cope with all these pending dad photos any longer

username11: someone explain why their son is easily gonna be the best dressed kid in the world

schecoperez: just forgetting racing with your favourite teammate like it’s nothing 😭

username12: can’t wait to see max become a dad, he’s gonna be adorable!!

ynusername: so excited for where life is gonna take us over the next few weeks 💕

maxverstappen1 @/ynusername can’t wait to be by your side every step of the way 💙

georgerussell63: jeez we get it you’re having a baby, you’ve barely mentioned it 😂

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liked by schecoperez, lewishamilton and 3,802,749 others

maxverstappen1: he’s here and he’s beautiful, couldn’t be prouder of my incredible wife bringing such a little beauty into this world. my heart is fuller than it ever has been before, someone might need to come and pinch me shortly 💕🐣

279,464 comments

redbullracing: congratulations from everyone on the team, we’re so happy for you and yn ❤️💙

username13: omg he’s the cutest - congratulations you two!! 💕

pierregasly: those photos are beautiful, hope you’re enjoying life as a trio already 💞

username14: the little hands. the little smile. the slightly scrunched nose 😭😭😭

landonorris: immediately on my way round for all the baby cuddles in the world!!

username15: I can’t believe he’s here and looks so adorable too!!

georgerussell63: this is the best news ever, can’t wait to see you both when you’re ready for us!!

carmenmmundt: @/ynusername @/georgerussell63 don’t make us wait too long tho I’m itching to meet little one 🐣

schecoperez: can’t wait to meet baby verstappen soon ☺️

username16: the way they’re looking at him in the middle photo, they’re so in love with him!!

danielricciardo: can’t believe the fresh faced kid I bet all those years ago is now a dad 😭

maxverstappen1: @/danielricciardo I feel so old now 💔

lewishamilton: he’s gorgeous, well done mama and congrats both of you!!

username17: pls don’t talk to me for the rest of the day imma just be staring at these photos 🫠

lilymhe: I’ve never screamed so loud in my life when I saw this post 😂

alex_albon: @/lilymhe can confirm the cats are now hiding underneath the bed because of this

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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris and 583,103 others

ynusername: some new company on our adventures together. that little smile melts me 🫠❤️

42,958 comments

landonorris: I refuse to accept a child as adorable as yours actually came from the max verstappen ❌

username18: look at that proud dad smile omg 💓

carlossainz55: you need to hurry up and bring him to meet us all 😧

iamrebeccad: not often I agree with carlos 😂 but I do about this!!

username19: they knew exactly what they were doing posting that last photo!!

alexandrasaintmleux: you guys are making me seriously want a baby of my own…don’t let charles know that though 😂

charles_leclerc:@/alexandrasaintmleux I can read a public comments section you know

username20: baby fever has suddenly struck me down hard ⚡️

alex_albon: please stop posting cute baby photos before lily screams the apartment down 🙏🏻

ynusername: @/alex_albon can’t help the fact my son is so adorable 🤷🏻‍♀️

username21: how are two people allowed to make such an adorable little human???

oscarpiastri: your son is already smiling better than me and he’s only a few weeks old 😂

username22: I knew they were gonna be a cute mum and dad but I wasn’t prepared for this!!

username23: that lost photo deserves so much more than just a post on insta 😂

maxverstappen1: with a smile like that little man is gonna be a heartbreaker for sure!

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 he’s far too young to ever think that far ahead yet 😂

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liked by carlossainz55, ynusername and 3,483,081 others

maxverstappen1: the stages of my life currently, living high on cloud nine. racing for you now my little buddy ⛅️

289,472 comments

username24: my ovaries are gonna burst if we get many more posts like this…

ynusername: asking for a friend…is it too early to already be wanting another one?!

username25: not max calling his son his little buddy, they’re already the best of pals 💞

lilymhe: I cannot stress how much I love the three of you 💕

username26: can’t wait for the day when max takes his son racing, future wdc pending 🥹

landonorris: well this post is just a little bit cute 😭

username27: now that really is what you call living the dream 😂

danielricciardo: now Ik what the fans are like, I feel like I’m stalking you three these days 😂😂

username28: you know the baby is adorable when my eyes are drawn to him and not the delicious stack of pancakes there 🥞

charles_leclerc: there’s not a chance for the rest of us if you’re riding for little man 😂

username29: I’m already excited to see yn and the baby in the paddock cheering for max!!

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liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe and 582,018 comments

ynusername: I think these photos are proof that the two of us are absolutely obsessed and refuse to leave our son alone for more than five minutes 😂💓

52,939 comments

username30: we don’t blame you yn, how could you leave his cute face alone?!

heidiberger_: I’m just as obsessed with the three of you, ily guys ✨

ynusername: @/heidiberger_ can’t wait to see you when you’re home 🥹

username31: now that is the ultimate proud dad smile 😂

landonorris: I remember when you didn’t leave me alone, now you barely reply to any of my texts 💔

username32: these three really are joined at the hip and it’s the sweetest ☺️

maxverstappen1: I’m never gonna stop being head over heels in love with you both 💞

username33: I’m obsessed with you guys just as much btw!!

georgerussell63: I don’t think anyone can fault just how much you love your little man

redbullracing: almost the right shade of blue guys 😂

ynusername: @/redbullracing we’ll do better from now on admin!

username34: the little feet in the middle picture, eurgh I’m becoming soft for babies now landonorris:

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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 592,172 others

ynusername: back to my favourite place with my new favourite little human for company. we’re coming to get you papa ❤️💙

59,371 comments

username35: ahhhh it’s finally happening can’t wait to see all the red bull baby photos 🥳

redbullracing: we can’t wait to welcome you back yn and meet baby verstappen too ❤️

username36: can we all take a moment to appreciate the fact he’s sleeping on the plane!

maxverstappen1: can’t wait to be reunited with my team, see you soon!!

landonorris: if I don’t see you guys this weekend I am gonna throw one almighty tantrum btw 😂😂

oscarpiastri: @/landonorris if we don’t see yn can we make a pact to drive his car off the track on sunday??

username37: red bull better have that baby grow ready for him to change into 🥺

carmenmmundt: shut up I’m at the race this weekend, sorry george but I’m leaving you for the weekend now 🥳

username38: max you better win this week so we can get baby celebrations and a podium

schecoperez: max has made sure the garage is perfect for you both…multiple times 😂

ynusername: @/schecoperez I didn’t expect anything less hahah

username39: pls fans and paps make sure you give them the privacy they deserve 🙏🏻

danielricciardo: just remember who looked after you when you first came to f1 and who would like a baby cuddle too 😇

ynusername: @/danielricciardo there’s no way I’m forgetting about you this weekend 🫶🏻

username40: thank you for always blessing us with such adorable baby photos yn 😍

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[menagerofmischief]

she's everything, he's max (mv33)

summary: y/n leclerc starts soft launching a man and soon enough there are paparazzi pictures of the two of them except no one quiet believes that the princess of monaco would settle down with ... max!

max verstappen x leclerc!reader -> smau

cw: some google translated french, my first attempt at a smau, inchident jokes, charles gets bullied

a/n: max won over franco by a few percent and I know there was a lot of people interested in seeing this with franco as well. I'd love to do something with franco so feel free to request it.

yourusername: monaco you were beautiful! I'm so proud of my brother for finally achieving his dream and winning home - love you Cha!

tagged: charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari

liked by: arthur_leclerc, maxverstappen1, alexandrasaintmleux ...

comments:

charles_leclerc: je t'aime petite soeur

charles_leclerc: you could have at least posted a picture of me to celebrate my win

-> yourusername: don't be ridiculous cha, I have a reputation to uphold -> carsgovrom: turns out appearing on his sisters instagram is a harder feat than breaking the monaco curse -> lechair16: of course it is, mother has a refined feed

maxverstappen1: he's come a long way since the inchident liked by yourusername

charles_leclerc: get out of here

alexandrasaintmleux: <3

yourusername: <3

user366: anyone else notice that max's been in the likes for a while now

user374: he also commented user366: call me crazy but something may be going on here user422: you're crazy

user993: mother is mothering again

yourusername: celebrating in style

liked by: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, alexandrasaintmleux ...

comments:

maxverstappen1: charles_leclerc what's that in the second picture?

charles_leclerc: get out of my sisters comments, sid user778: lmao not charles using the max looks like sid meme user801: he didn't come to play

charles_leclerc: betrayal absolute betrayal!

charles_leclerc: first the redbull picture charles_leclerc: AND THEN A MAN charles_leclerc: delete this

arthur_leclerc: say hi to your friend ;)

charles_leclerc: he knows but I don't!!! I can not believe this blashphemy yourusername: he says hi back! yourusername: alexandrasaintmleux come take him away alexandrasaintmleux: consider it done

userus: do the monaco royals know mother is serving the public more than they ever could

user366: can he fight?

maxverstappen1: yes user366: I'm going crazy

f1wags: last night in monaco, y/n leclerc (charles leclerc's sister) was spotted on a dinner with current f1 world champion, max verstappen. after leaving the restaurant the two were pictures kissing and walking intimately. are we getting a new wag in the paddock?

comments:

user366: and they said I was crazy!

user422: sorry girl

user1020: y'all are believing this? why would she date him?

user7789: I'm supposed to believe max pulled THE y/n?

charles_leclerc: oh!

user880: ariana what are you doing here!?

maxssssv: charles commented, it's gotta be real

userrrr: until mother confirms I refuse to believe she's dating .... him

maxverstappen1: family time

liked by: yourusername, victoriaverstappen, charles_leclerc

comments:

user7741: does he really think he's fooling anyone with that soft launch?

uswws: oh he's kinda cute actually

user7755: this is the guy who dating Y/N LECLERC?!

charles_leclerc: tell y/n to call me back, I'm not mad I just want to talk

alexandrasaintmleux: he's mad arthur_leclerc: don't call him back charles_leclerc: I see how it is

f1addict: charles basically confirmed it, right?

yourusername: another trophy on the shelf and another great race! couldn't be prouder of you or happier to call you mine. je t'aime max

tagged: maxverstappen1

comments:

charles_leclerc: ..... this is embarrassing, take it down

charles_leclerc: you never post pictures of me but he gets a whole post!?

charles_leclerc: don't bother coming over, leo already has a better aunt

maxverstappen1: I love you schatje

user366: crazy! I was crazy once

user122: I know she's astronomically out of his league but they're cute

user1010: no because finally someone said it! I ship it

lechair16: I'm only in the comments to see charles going mad atp

maxverstappen1: happy 1 year, schatje! I love you more than words can describe, you have made every day of my life better since the moment you came to talk to me after your brother ruined my race, and now you're the person I dedicate every race win to. ik houd van je

tagged: yourusername

liked by: arthur_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, yourusername ...

comments:

yourusername: aw max! I love you so much!

arthur_leclerc: my sister's crying now, great job mate

arthur_leclerc: jokes aside, very happy for you two

charles_leclerc: fine! I guess you can stay

charles_leclerc: if you must.... charles_leclerc: but if you hurt my sister I won't hesitate to launch operation inchident 2.0 maxverstappen1: noted

yourusername: here you go - welcome to the feed

tagged: charles_leclerc

liked by: maxverstappen1, alexandrasaintmleux, arthur_leclerc

comments:

user001: be honest, was posting charles a condition for him to accept max?

yourusername: yes

charles_leclerc: hey, we said good pictures!

yourusername: I happen to think you look really good in these pictures maxverstappen1: one would say, you've never looked so good charles_leclerc: you're on thin ice sid

load more comments ...

[afterglowsainz]

don’t wanna break up again | oscar piastri

pairing: actress!reader x oscar piastri

summary: you never go to any of oscar races and he’s always been okay with it, until he’s not

fc: rachel zegler

warnings: angst

a/n: i am in such an oscar kick lately you cannot physically stop me (i’ve also never wrote angst before this is so fun!)

—

liked by oscarpiastri, gracieabrams and others

yourusername vacation barbie☀️

view all comments

username uhmmm ???

username obsessed with her going on vacation instead of supporting yet another one of his boyfriend’s races

username so now she’s not allowed to go on vacation after working for five months on a movie? grow up

oscarpiastri the prettiest🥰

username oh to be called the prettiest by oscar piastri 😩

username so beautiful 😍

username respectfully looking 👀

username day number 482927 praying for y/n to attend a race

username at this point i feel like the only way she’s attending is if she has to promote a movie or something

username petition for y/n to be in that f1 movie they’re making just so we can see her at the paddock once

liked by yourusername, mclaren and others

oscarpiastri absolutely love austria 🧡

view all comments

username that’s my driver right there !!!

yourusername so well deserved❤️ (liked by oscarpiastri)

username another podium where y/n wasn’t present😊

username i could treat you so much better i swear!

mclaren incredible drive oscar🧡

georgerusell63 👊🏽👊🏽

username next podium is a win👀

liked by gigihadid, oliviarodrigo and others

yourusername star of the year is insane! thank you so much for this award and to all of you, i love you all to the moon and back and without you this wouldn’t be possible🫶🏽 thank you thank you thank you ⭐️

view all comments

username so so well deserved y/n congrats! 🎉

username ms. rabbit has fainted

username oh she just looked unreal tonight 🤩

username she IS the star of our generation 👏🏽

oscarpiastri couldn’t be prouder❤️

yourusername love you! 💘

username she’s just THAT GOOD

username star of the year indeed😍

liked by yourusername, landonorris and others

oscarpiastri incredibly proud of the most talented, hard-working, brightest woman i know. you’re not only the star of the year you’re also the star of my life and i know there will be many more awards to come your way🌟

tagged yourusername

view all comments

username oh

yourusername i can’t put into words how much i love you❤️

oscarpiastri ❤️

username now i just know he did not went out of his way to go to this award show for her during a race week and she can’t even be bothered to go to one (1) race

username he literally made a post about the critics recognizing her work as an actress and you’re commenting stuff like this? jesus

mclaren congratulations, y/n! 🧡 (liked by yourusername)

username y/n they will never make me like you!

username cutest couple🥰

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and others

oscarpiastri hungary will always be in my heart 🇭🇺 🫶🏽

view all comments

username obsessed with the first picture

username about to tattoo this whole race in my forehead brb

logansargeant congratulations mate🎉

username TWO MCLAREN MAIDEN WINS THIS YEAR ARE YOU KIDDING ME

carlossainz55 congrats oscar👍🏼

username so rookie of the year of him 😩

landonorris congrats muppet 🍾

yourusername so so proud of you congratulations my love‼️❤️‍🔥

oscarpiastri 🥰

username girl you weren’t even there…

liked by lilymhe, taylorswift and others

yourusername six weeks of breathing clean air, i still miss the smoke.

view all comments

username no way they actually broke up😭

username can’t believe it’s been six weeks i thought they were gonna get back after two days

username but why is she calling her relationship with oscar toxic? 😔

username at least she’s going out!

username oh you know it’s getting serious when she’s pulling out the taylor lyrics

username refusing to believe my parents are divorced (i’m older than them)

username finally we’re out of the trenches‼️

username currently praying for oscar’s next girlfriend to be supportive🙏🏽

comments have been disabled.

[maxlarens]

MV: YUCK! ⭐ part three

pairing(s): max verstappen x photographer!reader

summary: your aesthetic interest in max verstappen is purely professional, you swear.

fc: daisy edgar jones

a/n: enjoy pookies! happy miami day! i’ll be dead asleep when this posts but looking forward to waking up to sprint qual results and all the love you guys have been giving my smaus so far🥹

previous part ⭐️ next part

(instagram)

@ynusername just posted…

tagged @danielricciardo @maxverstappen1 @redbullracing

liked by @redbullracing @ysistersuser and others

ynusername happy now daniel?

user1 WOOO danny ric #1 in the carousel

user2 omg

danielricciardo I guess 😐

⤷ redbullracing not slutty enough?

⤷ ynusername oh my god not you too

⤷ danielricciardo Definitely not slutty enough

⤷ ynusername when will this joke end

user3 when are these from?

⤷ user4 media day at the miami gp

maxverstappen1 Lol

⤷ user5 has anyone noticed that he comments on basically all of her posts?

⤷ user6 dry ass comments though

⤷ user8 🤷🏼‍♀️ he’s still commenting, says something doesn’t it

(yn’s messages)

(twitter)

(instagram)

(yn’s messages)

(twitter)

(instagram)

🔒 @ynpersonal just posted…

tagged @maxverstappen1 @danielricciardo

liked by @ysistersuser @maxverstappen1 and others

ynpersonal RAHHH P1 and P2😭😭 i literally couldn’t be prouder of you two!!!!!! love u both to absolute pieces!!!

user1 Woahh good job!!

ysistersuser huh🤔

⤷ ysistersuser oh i mean CONGRATS GUYYSSS🏆🎉

user2 photos are incredible! did you take any?

⤷ ynpersonal yeah i took the ones of max and dan! the first one is from sky news’ twitter haha

maxverstappen1 Couldn’t have done it without you ❤️

⤷ ynpersonal SO SO proud of you maxie. it’s all you x

user3 amazing result! and a p3 for leclerc!

danielricciardo Where are you? Aren’t you coming out tonight? You can’t bail! Look how proud of us you are

⤷ ynpersonal YES dan christ im getting changed

(yn’s messages)

📸 can u tell i realised that u can insert more images on desktop😋 also pls ignore time stamps they mean nothing

taglist: @a-disturbing-self-reflection @evie-119 @taygrls @petrifying-risotto @bernelflo @spookystitchery @the-lynnie-the-pooh @illicitverstappen @stinkyjax @chezmardybum @dark-night-sky-99 @zucchinimalfoy @maxverstappendefender @xjval @persiar9 @personwhoisther @marymustdie @bearryyyy @nearlynadin @firelily-mimi @marvelfangirl04 @its-elias-world @youre-on-your-ownkid d @namgification (message me or comment if you’d like to be added to my tag list! ⭐️)

✨next part

[pierregazly]

the bookworm ꨄ george russell smau

george russell x bookworm/writer!reader

the one where george couldn't be prouder to call you his, even if it seems like the whole world hates you just for doing what you love... even if they don't know the whole truth.

georgerussell63

tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, f1wags, and others

georgerussell63 enjoyed the time off! would never complain about spending time with my best friend, time to get back into things 💪🏎

view all comments

username gotta go check off 'george posts shirtless pics during off szn' on my bingo card

username gotta go check off 'yn cares more about her own hobby than her bf' on my bingo card

username girl you got issues with books? can't read?

alex_albon bad hair day? or are hats your new thing

yourusername tried to convince him to go with the bucket hat, but he claims 'all the kids are wearing caps babe'

username girlypop can't even enjoy a holiday with george without being focused on anything other than him??

username he's literally NECKING her in one of the photos?????? do you want her to koala hold him everywhere???

username future wdc russell george and his future writer wife frfr

username 1/2 of these things are probably true and we both know it's not the second lol

yourusername spoiling me always, my handsome handsome man 💗

georgerussell63 wouldn't have spent the last few weeks with anyone else (even if you kick me in your sleep nightly)

username do you think yourusername pictures george as the main male character in any of the books she reads???

username if i can picture him in fanfiction, im sure she pictures him in everything else???

gisèlerosebooks

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, username, and others

gisèlerosebooks first time being on any device since my trip with my favourite person ended. the love on collided continues to amaze me, and i'm so extremely honoured to continuously receive so much love from not only the reading community, but many of the formula 1 faithful as well. this is NOT the end of the journey, either. for now, let the formula 1 season begin... and maybe find me at a race or two? 🤭

view all comments

gisèlerosebooks oh and to my incredible, amazing, handsome boyfriend, thank you so much for always proofreading my formula 1 terminology and understanding. i promise i'll give you real credit one day.

username god adrien is so charles leclerc coded, he's all i could think about this entire book

lilymhe 🏎🫶🏻

username the fact i literally could've cared less about the lil zoom zoom cars before the dirty air series dropped and now im eager for the new season.... gisèle baby why u do this to me

username miss girl???? how are we supposed to find you at any races when we don't even know what you look like!!!

username jealous of gisèle's bf is!!! his gf is too talented for the world

username not throttled being the book to get me back into reading and now i'm blessed wth a second book??? mother is mothering real hard

username this is the type of book series i'd totally read at the track and imagine an f1 driver as my husband sry

username 10/10 book!!! dying!!!

yourusername has posted a story

liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe, bestfrienduser, and others

replies

georgerussell63 wow we're so lucious and hot

yourusername luscious sweetie

georgerussell63 god i love having a hot, smart, book-writer gf. write a book about me and use that word

yourusername they're all already about you??? (handsome)

username you showed up to a race?????? shocking

gisèlerosebooks has posted a story

liked by georgerussell63, username, username, and others

replies

username omg!!!! where are you!!! dying to meet you omfg

username YOU WERE SERIOUS

georgerussell63 i saw u slip up and post this on the og account loser

georgerussell63 can i have my scooter back ya nerd

gisèlerosebooks no sorry </3 i own it now

georgerussell63 no creds in the books and now my scooter stolen???? you hate the british

gisèlerosebooks my pseudonym is an ODE to you PAL

georgerussell63

tagged yourusername and gisèlerosebooks

liked by yourusername, gisèlerosebooks, lilymhe, and others

georgerussell63 a shame that this weekend didn't go the way we all wanted it to go, i know for a fact we'll be coming out on top soon! i also know yourusername or as most of you seem to prefer (for no valid reason at all) gisèlerosebooks is pretty deep in finishing book 3 and apparently this weekend was super influential??? go me (give me book creds)

view all comments

yourusername george!!! lmao!!!

yourusername a heads up next time??? maybe?!?

username 'for no valid reason at all' so SASSY oh boy

username everyone on twitter the other day calling yourusername a freeloader is soooo not doing well rn

lilymhe the secret's out!!!! (shocked, baffled, wild, can i get my books signed now)

username (G)isèle (R)ose... (G)eorge (R)ussell... dare i say... deliberately done

yourusername 🤭

username amazing race this weekend!!! can't wait to see you on top

username no one talking about book 3 almost being done??? or the fact george proofreads all her writing??? so cute

charles_leclerc so collided... is not about me?

georgerussell63 get lost mate

yourusername has posted a story

liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, username, and others

replies

georgerussell63 you think im a gentleman??? love you

yourusername the BIGGEST gentleman, i love you

username god this is so cute

georgerussell63

tagged yourusername and gisèlerosebooks

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, username and others

georgerussell63 that's my little freeloading, best-selling author and future wife!

view all comments

username someone come get this chronically online man rn!!

yourusername can i be your freeloader forever??? spending my own money sucks

georgerussell63 my money's your money always my little freeloader

alex_albon emphasis on the best-selling author and future wife part

georgerussell63 you're right mate

username re-reading dirty air and knowing fully the entire book series is about george makes me so happy omg

username proud to admit i loved yourusername before AND after she was revealed as everyone's fav author (and it's not just a hobby losers)

username george doesn't get book creds until he wins a race again :)

yourusername i love this stipulation!!! georgerussell63 thoughts?

georgerussell63 you hate the british.

i had SO much fun writing this!!! i picked george after going down a george rabbit hole again (of course), so i hope you all love it!! thanks for all the love always.

i'm not necessarily taking requests right now, but if you have suggestions please feel free to send them my way.

[23victoria]

“Who is she?!”

f1 grid x fem!hamilton!reader smau, charles leclerc x fem!hamilton!reader smau

faceclaim: tyla (i love her shes so gorgeous!!)

authors note: i honestly love doing smaus! any feedback is appreciated and please like, comment, and reblog!! hope you enjoy!! also thank you for all love! i appreciate it! and yes there are some typos i’m too tired to fix them😭 let me know if you want me to start a taglist!!

edit: this has been sitting in my drafts since may 26…i needed to post it

𝚏𝟷 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

instagram

liked by lewishamilton, yourbff, yoursibling and 56,357 others

life lately >>>>

view comments

yourbff you so pretty babe 🤭🥰

↳ y/n_ig i love youuu 😘

yoursibling photo credits?!

↳ y/n_ig you ofccc! 🫶🏾✨

username1 who is she and why did the lewis hamilton like her post?!?

stany/n ughhh your skinnn! your glowing girl 🤧✨

↳ y/n_ig thank u bby 🤭

username7 uhhh? lewis what are you doing here?!? 🤔

↳ username5 right?!? like who is she?!?

view more comments

twitter

messages (lewis)

instagram

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, yourbff, yoursibling and 123,357 others

supriseeee!!! new single “water” out now!! 🤭✨

view comments

yoursibling ahhhhh I’m so excited!! it’s finally out!!

lewishamilton congrats y/n the song is a banger!!! 🫶🏾

↳ y/n_ig thanks cuzzo 🥰

yourbff one my fav songs off the album

↳ livelaughlovey/n album?!? what?!?

↳ y/n_ig @yourbff shhhhhhh!!!

↳ y/n_ig @livelaughlovey/n hehe soon! 🤭

↳ livelaughlovey/n @y/n_ig OMGGGG!!?!

stany/n bout to blast this through my speakers rn!!

charlesleclerc the song is amazing y/n! you’re so talented!!

↳ y/n_ig aww thank youu!!☺️

↳ lewishamilton @charles_leclerc why are you here?!? 🤨

↳ username8 lol not lewis gagging charles 💀

view more comments

twitter

messages

instagram

liked by charlesleclerc, lewishamilton, landonorris, yoursibling and 3,963,857 others

holy fuck. i literally have no words. number 1 in three days is insane! i’m speechless honestly, thank you. thank you to everyone who has been here form the beginning and saw something in me. this is for all of us. i love you ❤️

in honor of this huge achievement I’m having a concert this friday in new york, at the barclays center!! tickets are free!! see you there! 😘

view comments

livelaughlovey/n you deserve it!! i’m so proud of how far you’ve come!! 🥹

↳ y/n_ig thank you baby!!

zendaya congrats beautiful! it was so nice meeting you last night!

↳ y/n_ig thank you! we have to hang soon!!!

charles_leclerc congratulations gorgeous, you deserve it! ❤️

↳ y/n_ig thank you charles 🥰

↳ f1gossip101 oh 👀

cardib congrats honey!

↳ y/n_ig thank you 🥰

lewishamilton congrats cuzzo!! couldn’t be anymore prouder!! can’t wait to see what the future has for you 🫶🏾❤️

↳ y/n_ig i love you lew!!! ❤️

yoursibling beyond proud 🥹

↳ y/n_ig i love you 🥹

yourbff no words, the world is yours, i love you!!

↳ y/n_ig you’re going to make me cry, i love you!

username8 as you should!!! water is the song of the year!

username2 omg!! a free concert in ny!! i’m so there!!

view more comments

messages

instagram

liked by charlesleclerc, sza, lewishamilton, landonorris, cardib, oscarpiastri and 4,568,897 others

last night, best night of my life✨! you guys came and showed tf out and I’m behind grateful🤧!! the energy was highhh and i had a fucking blast!! thank you for coming and showing love!! I can’t wait to do this again!! love you🥹!!

view comments

charlesleclerc what an amazing show beautiful!! you were amazing!! 🥰

↳ y/n_ig thank youuu!! 🤭

lewishamilton you came and out did yourself!! the energy was ridiculous! 🤩 liked by y/n_ig

sza you were fucking amazing baby 🥹

↳ y/n_ig ahhh thank you!! 🥹

landonorris we have to do this again!! best fucking concert ever!!! 😝 liked by y/n_ig

cardib i had a motherfuckin blast girl 😫 liked by y/n_ig

megantheestallion real hot girl shit ahh 😝 liked by y/n_ig

oscarpiastri the most fun i had in a while!! 😊 liked by y/n_ig

livelaughlovey/n STILL FEELS SURREAL THAT I SAW YOU PERFORM!!! 😭🥰 liked by y/n_ig

georgerussel fuck this was one hell of a show! 👏🏻💕 liked by y/n_ig

username10 the outfits are the fuckk downn

↳ username2 her stylish never misses 🤭

view more comments

twitter

messages

y/n_ig has just posted a story!

twitter

part 2?!

© 23victoria 2024 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate, or claim my work as your own.

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

private collection

Summary: Dieter asks you, his PA turned girlfriend, to take a video of him to help promote the project of a friend of his. He makes sure to thank you for it afterwards.

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x fem. reader

Wordcount: 2.3k

Rating: E

Warnings: based on that damn instagram dancing snippet, flirting, dancing, established relationship, kissing, smut (unprotected sex; oral sex f receiving), cum play, making some private videos, sneak of a bj at the end

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

A/N: look, I had to. Somebody stop this man keep going. Used @iamasaddie's gif as Inspo (hope that's okay! Tumblr apparently won't let me message anyone from this account some reason 🥲) cause I suck at all things graphic design. Merry Crisis!

Full Masterlist // Dieter Bravo Masterlist

The night was coming to an end and you were tired. 

Dieter had insisted you come with him to a get together with some of his friends who were in town to promote their newest projects. Of course all of them knew that you were much more than just the PA the outside world knows you as.

You had been dating on and off for around four years. What started as a… mutual quarantine friends with benefits kinda situation turned into something more throughout the last year. You had been with him through his final successful rehab and you couldn’t be prouder of him being sober for almost two years now. By now you were living together, but keeping it all lowkey. You were still working as his PA, but not for that much longer. 

You’d start working at Dieter’s new production company as an production assistant in the next year. You had always wanted to work in that field, being Dieter’s PA and the pandemic only delaying your goal by a bit.

Not that you were mad about it.

Sure, you would still technically work for Dieter, but not like you did now. You would work for the COO of the company and not for Dieter directly. 

„Come dance with my baby,“ he gave you one of those smiles he knew you couldn’t resist, his friends already on their feet, music loud in the background as Dieter held his hand out for you. Knowing you couldn’t say no to him you took his hand and let him pull you up and into the middle of the room. 

It was a small private bar in some fancy restaurant, the only people around his friends and one bartender. Crossing your arms behind his neck, feelings his arms, his hands on your back you let him sway you to the music, his chest against yours. 

„You look really pretty tonight,“ he hummed with a small smile, kissing your forehead. 

„Thank you. My man got this dress for me,“ you grinned softly, your fingers playing with the soft hair in the back of his neck. It was just a black sweater dress he had surprised you with the week before.

„He got good taste, your man,“ he grinned back and you nodded. 

„He got his moments,“ you teased and he chuckled, swaying your bodies to the song. 

„Thank you for coming with me tonight. I know you wanted to stay in. But it was nice having you here with me. And I promise we will stay in for the whole weekend and do whatever you want,“ he said and you smiled at him. 

„Love you,“ you smiled softly and he mumbled a love you too, before he kissed you softly. 

You continued to dance for another two songs, one slow song, and one where Dieter attempted to teach you how to actually dance to the beat, but you were a lost cause, you both ending in a fit of giggles before he tells you that he wants to head home. 

You agreed, wanting to use the restroom before.

„Baby, you gotta help us,“ he called out to you when you came back into the room. With a raised eyebrow and a small smile you walked towards Dieter and his three remaining friends. 

„With what?“ You asked.

„Wanna promote his movie and had an idea,“ Dieter said, nodding towards one of his friends.

„Okay?“ You nodded, a little confused. 

„But these suckers can’t stop laughing while filming so you gotta,“ he winked and now you were intrigued. 

„What exactly am I going to be filming?“ You playfully narrowed your eyes. 

„Just little old me, dancing towards the camera while this song play,“ he shrugged innocently but you could see his eyes sparkling with mischief. 

You actually listened to the song, lips parting as you recognised it. Sucking your bottom lip between your teeth you looked up at Dieter before you playfully rolled your eyes, holding your hand out for his phone. He kissed your nose softly before he walked back towards the other side of the room while someone put the song on repeat and turned it louder. 

„How slutty is this going to be?“ You asked with a small grin as you searched through his phone for the camera app. 

„Oh you know me, baby. Just the right amount,“ he winked at you and you chuckled before you straightened up, watching him with a smile as you pressed record. 

„Do your worst then, Bravo,“ you challenged and he danced towards you, smoulder full on, his eyes on you behind the phone as he moved his body, pulling his arms up, hands towards his face as he danced closer towards you. You bit your lip as you watched him, asking yourself how you got so lucky to get to call him yours when his lips twitched into a smile as he was close to you, his hands coming to rest on your hips as he kissed your cheek, your skin suddenly flushed at his little performance. You chuckled as you stopped the video before you tilted your chin up to kiss him softly. 

„Let’s get out of here?“ He asked and you nodded.

You used the way home to edit his social media posts, taking a little longer than usual to edit the clip of him dancing, cutting the last part of him kissing you out. 

„Gotta say this video hits different cause I get to experience just how well you can move your hips on an almost daily basis,“ you said with a small smile and felt Dieter look at you from the drivers seat. 

„Aren’t you a lucky girl?" He teased and you looked up at him. 

„Can’t argue with that,“ you sighed with a dreamy smile and felt his hand on your thigh the next moment. You were finished with editing by the time Dieter parked his car in his garage. 

„You wanna look or should I just post?“ You asked. 

„Just post it,“ he said. 

„You sure? Pretty sure that video could qualify as foreplay,“ you grinned and he chuckled. 

„Merry Christmas to everyone watching then,“ he winked before he got out of the car. As he rounded the car to open your door, you hit post, putting his phone into your purse as you let him help you out of the car. 

„How do you feel about some actual foreplay upstairs?“ He asked before he kissed you as soon as you were out of the car, your back leaning against the car door. 

„Pretty sure you could just fuck me right here from how wet it made me to watch this video two hundred times while editing,“ you mumbled against his lips, feeling his twitch into a smile. 

„While I’d love to do just that,“ he whispered, one of his hands tilting you head up, the palm of his hand caressing your cheek. 

„I really want you to sit on my face,“ he winked before he pulled you into his house.

„Oh my god, Dieter,“ you gasped, your fingers wrapped around the wooden headboard in front of you, Dieter’s arms wrapped around your thighs, his head between them as he ate you out. 

He really did not waste any time to get you to sit on his face as soon as you made it upstairs, stripping down himself then you quickly, before pulling you on top of him. 

His tongue was merciless, playing with your pussy like only he could, bringing you closer and closer towards your first orgasm. One of his arms let go of your thigh, his hand coming up to play with your tits, palm squeezing one of them softly. 

„Shit, baby. Right there, suck on my clit,“ you moaned, crying out when he did just that, your walls clenching around nothing seconds later as your orgasm washed over you, your lips parted with a satisfied smile, head thrown back as you rode it out, one of your hands coming down to slip into his hair as he continued to lick into you. 

Finally you looked down, finding his dark eyes already fixed on you and you slipped down his chest, his hands coming to rest on your hips as you straddled his, slowly rubbing your drenched pussy over his cock. 

„You’re so fucking sexy, baby,“ he said as he licked his lips and you grinned before you leaned down to meet his lips in a sloppy kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. 

„Want you to ride my cock baby, please,“ he whined between kisses, as you continued to slip his cock through your wet folds. 

„Yeah?“ You teased against his lips. 

„Fuck, yes please,“ he whimpered, his hands kneading your ass as he helped you move on top of him. You loved how needy he got sometimes.

„What if I really want to suck your cock?“ You asked and he groaned. 

„Later. Wanna be inside you now,“ and you hadn’t it in you to tease him any longer, sitting yourself up and wrapping your hand around his cock to line him up. 

You both moaned when you sunk down on him, every inch of his thick cock stretching you perfectly just like it did since the first time you had fucked until you were sitting on top of him, cock deep inside of you. 

„Shit, your pussy is so fucking perfect,“ Dieter moaned and you smiled down at him. His eyes on your tits before he looked up into your eyes. 

„All of you is fucking perfect,“ he moved his hips beneath you and you gasped. With both of your hands on his chest you began to move on top of him, first rolling your hips before you slowly began to ride his cock.

„Feels so good, Dieter,“ you moaned softly, enjoying the way his cock was stretching you out. 

„Yeah?“ He asked, both of his hands on your tits, playing with them. You sucked your bottom lip in, nodding as you began to move faster, bouncing on his cock. He began to move too, thrusting up into you to meet you halfway, the sound of skin smacking against skin filling the room. 

„You close?“ He asked and you nodded. 

„Good girl. Use my cock and make yourself cum. It’s yours,“ he groaned and you moaned. 

„Wanna fuck you from behind after you cum, shoot my cum all over your back,“ he said, his eyes on you as he fucked up into you harder. 

„Oh fuck,“ you moaned, arching your back as your second orgasm rushed through you, your hands covering Dieter’s that were still on your tits as you slowly rode it out. 

As you breathed deeply you looked down at Dieter with a fucked out smile on your lips. 

„Hands and knees baby,“ he winked up at you and you sighed before you got up from him and let Dieter help you get you on your hands and knees, still feeling a little wobbly from your second orgasm, his cock back inside of you within seconds. He grabbed his pillow, pushing it under your chest and you let yourself fall down even further, your ass up in the air as he fucked into you. 

„You good?“ He asked and you nodded. 

„Use me, baby,“ you said, the side of your head on the mattress, wiggling your ass playfully and he slapped it twice. 

„Tell me if it gets to much,“ he said and you nodded, crying out at the next moment as he began to fuck you with hard, deep thrusts. Somehow he felt even deeper like this and it was like you could feel him everywhere as he pumped himself into you, the bed squeaking beneath you with how hard he was fucking you. 

It felt so fucking good, Dieter knowing just how he had to touch you to make you feel good.

„Oh fuck I’m gonna cum,“ he groaned and you nodded desperately. 

„Cum for me baby,“ you whined, already feeling his cock twitching inside of you before he pulled out. You turned your head to look up at him, his hand jerking off his cock, a long groan escaping his lips before you felt the first rope of his cum on your back. His eyes were closed, head thrown back as he milked himself dry and you hummed with a tired smile, his eyes opening when he finished, finding yours. 

With a fucked out smile he looked down at you before he looked at the mess he made of you. Leaning down you gasped when you felt his tongue run up your spine, licking himself off before your felt one of his hand on your arm, finding yourself on your back moments later with him towering over you, his lips meeting you in a messy almost desperate kiss, both of you moaning as you shared the taste of his cum. 

„Your so fucking filthy,“ you mumbled against his lips with a grin. 

„You love it,“ he grinned back and you  kissed him again, your arms crossing behind his back and he landed on top of you with a surprised huff. 

„I really fucking do,“ you agreed with a laugh. 

The next morning, you were only wearing his shirt form last night, you sneakily filmed him in his kitchen as he made breakfast for you, wearing only some very low hanging grey sweatpants. 

You filmed him as he danced through the kitchen, Christmas lights hanging on his kitchen window as Wham’s „Last Christmas“ played in the background. Excited for the first Christmas you would spend as a couple.

And much later it was Dieter who filmed you, him with a Christmas hat on and you, with his cock down your throat. 

But those videos would remain private. 

For just you and him.

[seunghyunjigglers]

mama, a stray kid behind YOU ★ @seunghyunjigglers

ot8 skz members as brainrot memes!

author's note: we even included links for some of the less chronically online divas out there (generous much?)! a lot of thought and effort went into this and we hope you love and appreciate our firstborn child. tw: dark humor. betas, do not interact!

chan ★ "i'm the leader, i'm the alpha, i'm the one to trust"

unironically watches bad edits of himself and goes "ayeee" to hype himself up about being edited

comments under them on his secret account

his fyp is now most definitely infiltrated by alpha chan edits

let's be real the whole trend was probably what inspired wolfgang to be released

bites his lip bc he thinks it makes him look sexy and he just looks like he's eating his bottom lip

tries to do that thing where guys put their necklace between their lips and take pics to be sexy but the necklace falls down his throat and he starts choking

would deliberately start doing aegyo followed by serving face to show his 'duality' since apparently the fandom love it (poor guy doesn't understand irony still)

LOVES when stays talk about his gyatt and starts using it bc he thinks its just another normal word for ass and seungmin and felix almost throw up laughing at him

minho ★ "queen never cry"

genuinely thought 'lock in' was something to be taken seriously and does NOT take it lightly when chan tells everyone to lock in

his kinky ass also probably thought it was some kind of jail roleplay (jisung had to explain it to him)

has mewing competitions with himself in the mirror

makes 'minho never CRY 💜' the note on his alarm in the morning

thinks it’s funny when he recommends the ki sisters manga (where the meme comes from) to people as his favorite series and the poor author has to actually go on a talk show cause he blew it up with the internet

checks his notifications EVERY day hoping someone will edit him with that baby

accidentally comments “queen NEVER cry” under a sentimental skz edit on the official account and wakes up with several calls from his managers.. let’s just say it didn’t go over well

changbin ★ "gadagadegadagadao" (omega nugget)

he stumbled across this meme on felix's fyp one evening and thought it would make the best vocal warmup for his raps, didn't realise it was a joke and actually uses it before recording tracks

when he discovers its a meme he thinks its hilarious and makes it his whole personality

stops mid convo with people and makes the face and thinks he's so funny (everyone is tired of it)

orders mcdonald's for everyone and takes the time to draw the face on EVERY chicken nugget and couldn't be prouder of himself

genuinely thinks the song is an actual banger and has it saved as a sample for a potential title track

hyunjin ★ "donatella VERSACE"

only types like THIS 💜 and felix and seungmin are the only ones who get it

chan finds out and secretly changes his name in a groupchat with their managers and staff to "hwang HYUNJIN 💜"

he is tired but donatella is not

his gag christmas present for secret santa is boxers with ms versace herself covering his chocolate starfish and he has a wardrobe malfunction while wearing them at a show and EVERYONE sees

is actually really embarrassed when he has to explain what it means to her and she just nods and tries to smile with all her botox

after this she comments it on all her posts and he accepts that he’s never escaping it

jisung ★ "jiafei 'in my head' remix" (floptropica)

this man is always singing his lungs out in every skz code and somewhere along the way he saw an edit of him with jiafei's vocals in the bg

was actually impressed by her vocal skills and tried to hunt down her ig page, ends up on some fake floptropican fanpage but he doesn't know this because he has minimal survival skills

dms some loser message like "wow your voice is sooooo nice haha...i also like to sing lol...so do you like korean boys haha..."

owner of the jiafei fan account is a stay and thinks this is hilarious and catfishes the hell out of him for WEEKS, sends vocal edits and jisung unironically eats them up, he def sends back vms of him doing vocal covers to impress her

felix hears him singing a jiafei remix one day and almost shits himself laughing, jisung gets angry and defensive until felix reveals that jiafei is literally a meme

realises he's been catfished

blocks the account and gets sulky whenever any floptropican edit pops up on his fyp, but still sings the jiafei remixes quietly to himself (some habits are hard to break)

felix ★ "oi oi oi...baka" (freaky larvae)

recreates it and everyone takes it seriously and he has to make a video telling everyone it was not in fact a thirst trap

breaks up serious arguments like "we need to calm down...you're all being a bunch of...heh...bakas..."

searches it up one day to see if there's any other lore and accidentally discovers a yagami yato audio and gets traumatised

seungmin gets fed up by felix constantly repeating it so he comes up with a master plan and during one of their japan concerts says "oh, felix has been practicing his japanese lately...what's that thing you keep saying?"

i feel like he'd perfect that freaky expression and everyone is sick of him and changbin for randomly using them

picks larva on his turn to choose something for movie night and everyone comically (see what i did there) groans and gets up while he’s just there cracking up

seungmin ★ "saddam hussein hiding spot"

this guy saw a 'saddam hussein hiding spot' comment under jeongin's post and fell down the rabbithole (or rather, the entrance covered in bricks and rubble)

thinks its HILARIOUS because it's a historically accurate meme (nerd!)

definitely whispers it every single time he sees someone or something laying down and everyone is so fed up with it, also gets felix to do the voice since he can imitate it perfectly

uses it as an excuse to randomly start lying down during dance practices and when everyone complains he just says "why am i lowkey serving saddama hussein hiding spot?"

he'd take this shi so seriously like he'd be doing the math to figure out how much time to spend on each app each day so he can make his daily screen time average look like saddam hussein JUST to make the reference

jeongin ★ "that feeling when knee surgery is tomorrow"

someone makes a comment about how they tore their acl and have to get knee surgery and he goes "that feeling when knee surgery is tomorrow" and starts laughing

it wasn't very funny to said someone

probably has to make one of those formal instagram apology posts because of it (he sets the music as the bg for the original post but his manager makes him delete it and post again)

fake falls at practice and when everyone crowds around him all worried he says he feels like he might need knee surgery tomorrow and gets kicked out of the room

pays an insane amount of money to get everyone matching knee surgery knee pads for practice and absolutely loses it every time someone actually needs to use it and has no other choice

posts a fake hospital pic with “do NOT get your knee surgery from shein !!” on his secret account

asks for permission to change his pfp to the grinch and considers outing jyp when he gets told no

[f1fnatic]

BUT I THOUGHT SHE WAS UNFAITHFUL? ⤿ d. ricciardo 3

→ ( in which. . . ) you star in a movie as the lead actress. in said movie, you date your co-star. the fans of your boyfriend don't like the idea, so they spread rumors in response to you and your co-stars friendship. but, little do they know, it's not you they should be worried about.

→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) social media au

→ ( face claim. . . ) sydney sweeney

→ ( pairing. . . ) daniel ricciardo x actress!reader

→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) rumors of cheating, eventual cheating, cyber bullying, language, toxic fans

→ ( author's note. . . ) this was sitting in my drafts for so very long and i just finished it in class, i am so happy i am able to post something after such a long hiatus. I hope you enjoy! see end for more

─ INSTAGRAM ↴

y/nnnn

liked by glenpowell, danielricciardo, alexademie, lewishamilton and 3,126,731 others

tagged: glenpowell, sonypictures, and anyonebutyoumovie

happy to announce that anyone but you in theaters NOW! go watch it >:)

view 865,729 comments

y/nlover ugh cannot wait to watch!

alexademie pretty pretty girl

y/nnnn all you lexie :(

danielricciardo so unbelievably proud of you roo ❤️

y/nnnn thank you badger ☹️

glenpowell such an honor to work with you!

y/nnnn i can say the same!

y/nhater don't you think that her and glen are too close to be co-stars?

y/nhater2 i'm thinking the same thing there's no way she didn't cheat

y/nfan wtf are u talking ab? y/n would NOT do that to danny they are happy together

lewishamilton free tickets 👀

landonorris 👀

maxverstappen1 👀

charles_leclerc 👀

y/nnnn sonypictures what do you think?

sonypictures I'm sure we can work something out.

danielricciardo

liked by y/nnnn, glenpowell, landonorris, scottyjames31, and 3,421,874 others

tagged: y/nnnn

words cannot express how proud i am of you, my love. you have poured so much blood, sweat, and tears into this movie. i know it has been hard, especially the long shoot hours, the frantic facetimes in between scenes can vouch for that and so can the texts. i will definitely miss the on-set pictures/updates.

i love you so much y/n. i don't know how i could be any prouder. p.s. i better get a private showing if you know what i mean 😉

view 831,341 comments

landonorris gross there are children on this app

hunterschafer cutie pies

zendaya is that blond single?

danielricciardo not atm no get in line

y/nnnn danny be nice.

danielricciardo sry love 🫡

y/nfan LMAO

georgerussell63 get a room 🤮

drlover she is such a slut

alexademie actual goals

y/nnnn awe danny i love you too

y/nnnn definitely NOT crying right now!!!

lewishamilton she is lying she facetimed me SOBBING

y/nnn i called you in CONFIDENCE. CONFIDENCE LEWIS.

y/nnnn you are the sweetest, most supportive person i have ever met. i could not have gotten through this without you ❤

danielricciardo there is no one else i rather support ❤

y/ndanny they are meant for each other

y/nhater what a fucking whore

y/ndanny2 the best couple

─ TWITTER ↴

─ IMESSAGE ↴

─ TWITTER ↴

imessage ↴

—————————————————————

Unknown Contact i stole ur mans 😜

—————————————————————

lexieee 😚 i am so so sorry my love, he didnt deserve you ❤️

—————————————————————

Lando Norris He treated you like shit anyways

—————————————————————

alrighty, finished! thank you so much for reading, so sorry for the radio silence, ive been super unmotivated and consumed with school 💔 anyways, requests and feedback are welcome! make sure to leave a comment and kudos as well (only if you want :P)

[sethvzekiel]

141 + könig x cold! squadmate

gn! reader. lowkey inspired by widowmaker from overwatch, mostly platonic unless you squint. reader is very close to laswell in a platonic way + set backstory.

reader x price, gaz, ghost, soap, and 141! konig bc bias. messed with the timeline a little in post-mwii but they’re still 141 and recruited konig. 3k words.

part 2 here.

warnings: canon-typical violence mention. strong language.

callsign is azrael but only mentioned once or twice.

  price

Azrael. Angel of death. What the hell did you do to get a callsign like that? Price was almost afraid to ask — if it’s anything like Ghost’s callsign, it can’t be a happy story.

Your file was almost entirely blacked out, but the scant few that he could read was impressive, if not bloody. Laswell always called on you for her most delicate tasks, plenty of it related to human trafficking and stealth operations. You’re not tied to a single company, more a solo merc than a soldier among many, but you’ve served alongside enough armies that your lack of a badge doesn’t matter.

And there’s that feeling again in Price. The dulled rush of anticipation, of knowing that he’s got a good one in his hands, bursting with potential. Laswell recognized it the moment she saw him reading your file for the first time.

“Don’t poach all my good men, Price,” she sighed, but gave him your contact details, regardless.

He wasn’t surprised that you turned him down. Your file was rather explicit in telling him that you’re more a lone wolf than a mainstay. But by the fifth rejected call, he had to play the ‘Laswell’s Christmas drinking buddy’ card and get her to convince you.

It was then that he'd seen you in person for the first time, in the cold light of one of Laswell's safehouses, and it'd be a cold day in hell before Price lets himself get intimidated by anyone, but hell was feeling a little chilly that night.

Still, he'd recruited Ghost. He'd recruited König. Surely, he knew how to handle you.

…right.

Your problem, which Laswell already warned him about, was that while you followed his orders in a professional sense, there was a difference between obedience and genuine respect, the second of which you’d only reserved for Laswell.

Price wasn’t particular about demanding respect from anyone and everyone, but he also had the urge to help you open up, to untangle that knot of bitterness and cold that kept you silent. Yet the distance between your ranks was too wide, with a wall of ice damn near impenetrable for Price. Not that he was the type to give up when faced with such challenges.

If you smoked, he’d easily offer a cigar, but if you didn’t, he’d do most of the talking as you silently stood by him during his smoke breaks just by his office window.

You reminded him a little of Ghost that way, ever the silent shadow with haunted eyes and an icy composure. You also insisted on calling him Captain, which wouldn’t have been an issue if not for how robotic you sounded, even in small talk.

When it got around that Gaz managed to get you to warm up, Price felt half relieved, and half like he'd just been upstaged. That was his job as captain, damn it. He watched you grow from the sidelines, slowly defrosting as you spent more time with the others. 

The day after your first leave together out to the pub, he wanted to shut Soap up because of how much he bragged about you taking care of him. Something about you giving him hangover cures and making him food. But he couldn’t have been prouder when he told Laswell the same story.

During your smoke break chats by the window, Price always gave you advice through his stories and musings.

It was only on the last day of your contract that you said anything yourself.

“Kate trusts you.” You spoke suddenly, under the moon of a quiet night.

Price didn’t respond immediately, afraid to break the sudden fragile atmosphere between you two, and silently urged you to continue.

“...she was captured on your watch.” The accusatory sting in your tone was like a knife in the dark.

Price dipped his head low. “And we fought like hell to get her back. We don’t leave our men behind.”

“I know.”

A long silence followed. You were assessing him. Mulling over whether this task force was worth your time or Laswell’s trust. Price could see it in your eyes, and as much as he’d want to convince you to stay right there, that olive branch was already extended a long time ago by Gaz, Soap, Ghost, and even König. As captain, it was his duty to keep you in line. As Price, he wanted to earn your trust. To trust you himself to make that decision.

When his last cigar for the night burned low, the sliver of smoke joining the creeping sunrise, you hummed.

“See you later, Price.”

You retreated back into his office, and from behind him, Price heard the rustle of paper. You left without another word.

He might have rushed to his desk to see what you’d done to his paperwork, and a low, rough chuckle bubbled from within his chest.

You signed his offer.

ghost

‘Laswell’s attack dog.’ That was the cruel summary of your file.

Ghost was the first person Price consulted with on getting you in the team. From how Price and Laswell described you, it slowly dawned on Ghost just how much Laswell trusted you.

If the 141 fails, Laswell will send you.

Naturally, that made Ghost a little wary of you. He trusted Price, he trusted Laswell, but he didn't trust this outlier. You're another sniper, too. Just what he needed after König joined up. Wonderful.

He wasn’t subtle in his caution against you, but it wasn’t supposed to be subtle. It was a warning.

You didn’t cause trouble. Quite the opposite, in fact: you were quiet. Too quiet. Always tending your gear or spending hours at the range, seeming to only have the next battle in mind. He had to check the security feed to make sure that you were going to your room at night and getting food instead of living at the range 24/7.

By that point he’d decided to go to the range and see you for himself.

“Where’d you learn?”

He couldn’t help but ask as you perfected a whole round of targets. You weren’t startled by his presence, already having heard his quiet steps long before he saw you.

“Picked it up as a habit,” was your frosty reply. “Then did it for money.”

“How old were you?”

“Ask Kate.”

There it was. He had his suspicions about how you came to be so attached to Laswell. If you’d served in enough missions, or if there was something deeper than that, with how you would kill for her without question or how Laswell trusted your strength, yet still discreetly asked Price to keep an eye on your well-being.

“Suppose I won’t,” he said, and that was enough for your to pause and turn back to him.

“Thought you were grilling me for info, LT.”

“I know when not to pry. You better not bring old enemies to us.”

“The dead can’t walk.”

Were you cold? Distant? A bit mean? Yes, yes, and yes. But Ghost was patient. So long as you weren’t a threat or nuisance to the team, you could stay. You were even one of the more obedient ones, so he wasn’t complaining.

That changed when he partnered with you on the field for the first time. It was also your first mission with the others, as you were usually the sniper from the far back instead of charging in with them.

Amid the sands and gunpowder, you were a machine. No enemy slipped past your combined strength, and you complemented each other’s combat styles perfectly. He goes in with the heavy fire while you shot down snipers like you already knew exactly where they were.

“Fuckin’ splendid, soldier,” he said on the way back, when everyone else was asleep.

“I try, sir.” 

He looked forward to training with you from then on, silently one-upping each other’s skills from shooting to sparring in an endless chase to the top. The competition grew notorious enough that other soldiers began approaching you for advice on how to improve themselves or to compliment your skills, garnering a reaction from you that only Ghost could tell was embarrassment.

Despite not being as close to you as the rest, your standoffishness and frigid personality were things that Ghost was familiar enough with that he could see right through you. 

“Aw no, another Ghost?” Soap once complained when Price sent them your file. Ghost had only scoffed then at the ridiculous notion.

Now, though, as you silently fussed over your teammates while insisting that you weren’t at all concerned, it made him feel a little warm inside.

Nothing wrong with a second Ghost if it meant more people looking out for his comrades.

And with how you seemed to have König wrapped around your little finger, Ghost could at least trust you with keeping him in line.

  gaz

He can’t explain why, but there’s something about you that reminded him of his old anger; the frustration he had with how much injustice the world let slip between the cracks, the helplessness he’d felt before he met Price.

Your relationship with Laswell… it’s a little like his own with Price, but in the place of brotherhood or mentorship is something quiet and mournful, the kind of loyalty forged out of a dark place. It’s clear that you view Laswell as a kind of savior, the type you’d owe your life to. It’s the only way to explain why you only come back to her.

Gaz kept his distance, unlike Soap. He could tell when you needed space and respected it — unlike Soap. Or Price. Or — he couldn’t believe it — Ghost. It’s just Gaz being respectful, definitely not related to feelings of intimidation or fear. Maybe.

Funnily enough, it’s that wordless consideration of your alone time that made Gaz the first person you warmed up to. It was only a brief chat about when the next resupply for ammo comes in. You’d been running low for a while and your kit is rather specialized, but Gaz was the first you’d spoken to without hostility or work in mind.

With that ice broken, the next conversations were slow-going, but easier. Shared watch duty where Gaz babbled mindlessly about everything he'd been thinking about, just to keep himself awake, while you listened silently, but intently.

Gaz didn't know that you were actually paying attention until you started setting out his favorite tea in the morning without a word or clearing your throat before entering a room because he hated getting startled. Those were things he'd only told you at night, when he thought you were barely tolerating him.

Instead of a terrifying shadow, he started to see the human side of you. The considerate side that you tried to hide with a bitter scowl when he brought it up. Dare he say it, it was a little endearing, like the grumpy stray cat he used to feed as a kid.

When the rest of the 141 noticed, he'd automatically been designated as your unofficial 'translator.' He could decode any of your blank (and sometimes terrifying) expressions to the letter.

"Quit it, Soap, they need a nap."

"Captain, you're bumping into their injured shoulder, sir."

"LT, might want to hide your tea stash, think they saw your cup."

"König, come back! We just wanted to compare gear!... Eh, sorry mate, he's gone."

"What d'you want, black coffee or... latte? Huh. Two lattes, please."

Usually, when you'd be paired up with Gaz, you're the sniper supporting him from far away. Your quiet murmur over the comms, even in a firefight, instantly calmed him down and Gaz swore that he worked better when he knew you were watching him.

Post-mission naps on your shoulder didn’t sound too bad, either. That was a privilege he wasn’t going to give up to anyone. No matter how annoying about it Soap got.

soap

We know Ghost's attitude didn't stop Soap from getting all buddy-buddy with him.

But even then, your demeanor, as sharp as a coldsnap and twice as biting, gave him pause. He's spoiled with reactions from other people to his presence, whether it's reciprocated friendliness or annoyance at his energetic personality. Total apathy, with a tinge of hostility, only came from Ghost and you. And Ghost warmed up to the guy already, so your silence bothered him a little.

Not that he hated you, but it stirred a competitive urge to challenge your coldness and finally get you to crack.

Mercifully, he somehow didn't end up getting killed in the process of fighting for your attention. He's not subtle about it, though: other people on base always referred to him as your 'pet dog' when he's looking for you.

"Hey, your Scottish Terrier came by, was yowling for your attention."

"Put your dog on a leash, would you? He won't stop interrupting R&D to ask where you are."

"Feed your pup, sergeant, he looks pitiful from over here."

But you didn’t look down on him the way others do. You didn’t see some kid trying to play hero, who got lucky because Price took a shine to him and had no other skills to speak of. You looked down on him the same way you did at everyone else: a detached gaze from your metaphorical ice castle, nothing more. And in a twisted way, it’s refreshing.

When he found out that you'd gotten close with Gaz before anyone else, he was ready to whine. Ghost certainly got the worse end of his complaints. Since then, he'd butt into yours and Gaz's conversations, especially when you started joining the boys for lunch instead of eating alone.

It was only on your first leave together, your first civilian outing, that Soap realized that you were closer than he'd thought.

While he was drinking at the pub, you carefully watched him, silently looking out for signs of him getting too drunk, at which point you'd begun secretly ordering watered-down versions of his drink until it was practically juice. 

Even with how wasted he was, he saw through your trick, but all was forgiven by the next morning when you'd cared for him through his hangover in your own, grumpy way. You even cooked breakfast for him, but he wouldn’t tell you that it was practically tasteless and mostly hangover cures. The thought counts, right?

And wow, he would not stop rubbing the fact that you took care of him all over 141’s faces.

“Watch your back, Gaz. I’ll be takin’ your spot soon!”

“Johnny, it’s two in the fucking morning.”

“You can’t be their favorite and Price’s at the same time. Pick one!”

“No. Besides, think König is second to me, not you.”

“The fuck?”

könig

You reminded him of the deep winters of his deployments in the north. Cold, cruel, yet beautiful. Sorrowful. Lonely. Silent. Calming.

Make no mistake, the first few months with you around, König was sure he was going to have a breakdown. Your lightless stare bored holes into him, no matter how hard he tried to hide from your field of view. It took enough of his energy to resist the urge to hide behind any of his new 141 teammates. Seriously, how did he get along better with Ghost than with you when you didn't even have a mask?

It didn't matter if you’re built like Ghost or the scrappiest operator around: your chilling aura always left König with his hands clammy and breaths a little short.

If Gaz pre-friendship was giving you space, König was running from you at first sight.

But when König watched you grow close with the rest of the 141, his sharp eyes catching that lightning-fast flicker of tenderness on your face, it was over for him. He had to see it again, like sunlight glancing off fresh ice.

Cue the big guy trailing after you helplessly, like a fidgety shadow, that the other 141 members politely pretended to ignore. Not that he's any good at hiding.

König may have done a good job at absolutely shattering his terrifying image with his actions at base, but when you're on the field, he's an entirely different person.

A beast. A hunter. A king of the battlefield. He's covered in blood from head to toe, glee rushing through his veins as he bludgeoned two men with his bare hands. For a moment, he wondered if you would be impressed with his kill count. You must be. Then he thought for another moment. Then another.

And he remembered that you were his partner for this mission, and that no, this was not a good look for him.

Slowly, horrified, he turned back to you. You looked over the aftermath: a warehouse filled with bodies, not all of them slain with bullets, and broken weapons. König barely heard you convey your victory to Captain Price over the comms, even if you were right in front of him.

It was only when you clapped him on the arm that he snapped to attention: both from your touch and the miniscule smirk on your lips.

"Don't forget to watch your six."

"You... are not... afraid?"

"Just glad I'm not on your bad side. Let's go."

On the next missions, König would restrain his bloodlust a little, if only to see you in action himself. You moved smoothly and quietly, just like a shadow leaving death in your wake. He watched you snuff out an entire enemy safehouse without anyone noticing. 

You truly were the Angel of Death, going from door to door, taking lives like it was divine decree. There was never a more beautiful sight.

König was... stuck to you like glue, to say the least. He'd slowly begun joining you at target practice, or sparring, or running into you around the base and coincidentally offering his help with the reports you meant to file.

Whether you noticed or not, he didn’t care. Actually, he wouldn’t mind if you noticed how helpful he’d been. The more you saw him as reliable, the more you’d be willing to be his buddy on the field, yes? And the more he’d get to see you in action, no?

Now, if only the others would stop hogging you for a second… he could interrupt that conversation you were having with Ghost… if Ghost wasn’t looking… any time now…