#one of my friends said that this idea is basically whole ass Dream channel before face reveal

[eghtony]

How about........ some hum!ShellyVee......... huuuuuuuh........

I thought that What If hum!Vee could wear some kind of TVHead mask on her face to cover it during the show? Like, be that one mysterious game-host everyone likes, and whose face nobody ever seen? I think that's a neat idea and i didn't see somebody doing that already, soo...

(yeah and also imagine that TENSION when she just takes her mask off GOSH- yeah of course i'm not freaky! you're freaky!)

[studiobeebo]

Hey Bee, super excited to see you writing again even if just for a bit! Might I be so bold as to ask for Hawks making breakfast in bed for reader? 🍳 I'd love some snuggly domestic fluff. Also, are people submitting pets? I'm not sure why or if it's a thing, but incoming pictures of my little bastard fur baby.

HHHHHHH VIX I HOPE THIS IS BETTER LATE THAN NEVER TY FOR REQUESTING MY FAV CHICKEN ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE BEEN INSPIRED TO WRITE FOR HIM  ALSO THANK U FOR SHOWING ME UR BASTARD

Hawks / Keigo Takami

Legally, even heroes amongst the top ranks were required to have days off. An unstable hero is an ineffective hero, after all. For a long time, however, days off were just that for Keigo: a necessary component to be the hero he was trained to be. It took him a while to see days off as most people saw it, a time to relax, even if those days off were usually interrupted in one way or another. Still, that never stopped him from dreaming of a world where he could have genuine free time to fill with whatever random shit he could think of, but for now he was making do with ‘enjoying the little things’, something that you had drilled into his brain when the two of you first started talking, and since then he’d had plenty of time to realize that you were one of his favorite ‘little things’ to enjoy.

He didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time with you, but over time you became one of the main factors in why he wanted to be done with the difficulty of hero work. He liked being with you, as cheesy as it sounded, and he found himself always hoping he’d have a little extra time in his day to swing by your place so the two of you could talk over lame late night sitcoms and some terribly unhealthy food.

The two of you never outright called your little get togethers ‘dates’ and you never even dared get into the conversation of finally calling it how it is and saying you were together, but compared to just about everything else in his life, the issue there wasn’t actually his job, it was just how the two of you were. Despite how cheeky and suave he liked to act, he could never really figure out the right way to go about this sort of thing. He mulled over the idea of just flat out asking or mentioned the two of you dating, he never had problems keeping other things to himself anyways so it sounded like the most natural way to go, but he could never bring himself to just say something. It never felt like the right time and to be fair, you could always be the one to say something too but you found yourself in the same dilemma. It seemed like the two of you were in a constant cycle of ‘Eh, I’ll just bring it up next time’, always assuming but never really realizing how much the other wanted to make things a bit more official.

So that’s how things went and have been going, the two of you dancing around the idea of just sharing your feelings and growing closer in the process. Even with work becoming more overbearing than ever, he still always managed to get lost in the way you made him feel the moment the two of you were together. You, on the other hand, spent your time excitedly wondering when he’d come by next, even going as far as to try and spend more evenings at home instead of out with friends just to heighten the chance of hanging out with him. Needless to say, you knew you were head over heels for that winged idiot and after weeks of consideration you finally decided on saving your confession for a few days before the upcoming White Day.

The idea was that, if he returned your feelings like you hoped he would, you’d then be able to get him a gift a few days later. Cliche maybe, but you figured that would make for an extra special anniversary if things ever happened to get that far. Plus, even if he rejected you, you figured at least that wouldn’t ruin the holiday for either of you.

Unlike you, Keigo really wasn’t that inept at the whole ‘think before you act’ thing in regards to relationships.

He wasn’t an idiot (well, not in this regard) and he knew he had insane hots for you at this point and since his idea of just casually dropping that he wanted to be with you wasn’t coming to fruition, he figured he’d try to do something a little more structured and came up with what he thought was a fantastic idea.

Valentine’s Day was romantic, right? So what better day to confess his feelings? He didn’t bother worrying about the whole ‘what if you say no’ thing and instead started thinking about what he could do to make it less lame than ‘hey we should go out for real’. He started paying more mind to couples he’d see out and about while patrolling and even would watch any of the seasonal abundance of romance movies that he’d pass by while scrolling through television channels when he had the time, but everything he saw seemed a bit too romantic and totally not his style. He wanted to do something sweet but a bit more laid back and with no other thoughts in mind, after some time he finally settled on the classic act of breakfast in bed.

Of course in his plans he sort of omitted a few things that tend to make ‘breakfast in bed’ a special thing, the first being that, well..he didn’t know how to go about cooking breakfast. Growing up his diet was extremely regulated and he was rarely allowed to cook for himself, so the only things that were his choice were snack foods or pre made meals he’d grab from a 7/11. Sure he was a few years out of the constant regulations and overbearing ‘caretakers’, but he was out of the frying pan and into the fire in a way so he never had a lot of chances to improve his skills past a basic enough level of cooking to keep himself alive. 

With that in mind, his plan was to pick something nice up for you and maybe if he was feeling it he’d get some flowers or something as well before finally stopping by and sneaking in with the extra key you had given him to surprise you. You’d probably call him a loser for waking up so early, ask him what the hell he did this for, and his answer would be that somehow he managed to fall for you. It was easy as pie in his mind and he was actually pretty chipper in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, but things never quite go as planned for him, do they?

For starters he was out much later than he had planned the night before which pissed him off because every little issue that popped up felt so insignificant and not worth the price of pushing back his plans. He wasn’t some narcissistic asshole, but when he’s out until three in the morning dealing with little mishaps that cops should have been able to handle, he tends to get a bit irritated despite not showing it. Still, by the time he got home he barely had a few hours to rest before he had to get his plan into motion of picking up things and making his way to you. He wasn’t even planning on closing his eyes when he sat down for a ‘minute’ and when he woke up an hour or so to a call for aid from his agency he barely had time to worry about what was ahead. Even then by the time he was done as the sun began to rise, not only was he behind in general but the call took him a good distance away from where you were so it would take at least an hour to fly there and even more to get what he needed so instead, in his exhausted state he ended up saying ‘fuck it’ and dropping his ass into a family mart, picking up a bagful of breakfast pastries and coffee, and then rushing over to your place where he was finally able to give his wings some damn rest.

He was relieved enough to have made it a little after the time you mentioned you usually woke up around and being as jittery as he was he didn’t give a second thought to unlocking your door and practically slamming it open in the process before cursing to himself for being so damn loud when this was supposed to be a surprise, but with all his clattering around he spilled still very hot coffee all over himself and proceeded to practically throw the bag of goods in surprise as he cussed himself out some more.

Of course meanwhile all that was happening on your end was being woken up by your front door being slammed open followed by noise and cursing. You immediately tensed as you snuck your way closer to the intrusion, a small knife in hand in the event your quirk was rendered useless. As your heart raced in your chest you rounded the corner before bracing yourself, only for your eyes to widen at the sight of the absolute idiot you had fallen in love with whisper-yelling at himself surrounded by a now spilled puddle of coffee and various packaged breakfast pastries.

“Keigo?!” You practically screamed, rushing over him to see what the hell he was doing, but when he looked up at you as if he should be surprised you couldn’t help but sigh and cross your arms.

“A knife?? Jesus, (Y/N) the hells’ a matter with you.” He said with a smile, only half preparing himself for the huff of annoyance and smack to the side of his head.

“What’s the matter with me?! What the hell are you doing breaking into my apartment and making a fool of yourself???”

That made him groan and run a hand through his hair as he looked around to realize exactly what you meant about him looking ridiculous.

“Well you gave me a key so I wasn’t really ‘breaking in’, right?” He questioned, raising a brow as he moved to grab a kitchen towel to attempt to blot his clothes dry, but when he saw the look on your face that screamed you were tired and cranky and not having his jokes, he finally let out a sigh before leaning his back up against your kitchen counter.

“Was trying to do the whole ‘breakfast in bed’ thing, figured it would be best to make myself look good to confess or whatever you want to call it, with it being Valentine’s Day and all.” 

He immediately tensed as his brain caught up with what he had just said before slouching his shoulders upon realizing that in the end, he ended up going with his original plan of just blurting it out like an idiot. 

You scoffed, bending over to begin to pick up what he had dropped before stopping in your tracks as you heard the rest of his sentence. Now your heart was beginning to beat faster for a different reason as your brain replayed what he had just said as you picked up one of the pastries off the ground. After a moment of calming yourself so you wouldn’t embarrassingly bust your own feelings open like you had planned to do in the upcoming month, you stood up and smiled, holding up a one of the things you had picked up.

“You tried to make yourself look good with store bought pastries and crappy convenience store coffee?” You teased, making your way over to him and stopping so you were face to face with him and that ridiculously annoying and attractive smirk of his.

“What can I say, if you don’t love me at my worst you probably won’t love me at my best.”

“What would you have done if I didn’t love you at all?”

“Pfft,” He huffed, “When you go sayin’ things like that it makes it sound like you do love me.”

A moment later his face dropped and he let out a quiet ‘Oh’ as you gave him a look that said ‘Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m trying to say’. All this time not worrying about whether or not you actually liked him back and him thinking that surely you did since the two of you had gotten so close, and yet when you put it so clearly like that it made his stomach do ecstatic flips not knowing that you were just as thrilled as he was.

“That’s cool.” Was all he could manage to say, figuring he would save at least some of his pride by not going into a love stricken rant about just how much he had come to love you.

“Just cool?” You asked, biting at your cheek in an attempt to keep your smile at bay but failing miserably at keeping your happiness on the inside, your hands itching to do something you had only previously dreamed of as you reached up to rest your hands on his shoulders before actually wrapping them around his neck as he leaned into your touch which effectively bolstered your confidence and lowered any inhibitions you had.

“Maybe a bit more than ‘just cool’. At least extra cool, maybe even insanely cool if we really want to push it. But h-“ His words were pleasantly cut off by your lips pressing against his own, a little desperate and very much eager after waiting so long to feel his lips pressed against your own. He was supposed to be the cool and suave ‘Hawks’, the nation’s number two hero, but just like that he was melting against your touch as his hands gripped your waist, gently at first but giving a desperate tug as you finally pulled away from him and he tried to lean in for more, the only thing stopping him being the fact that he just had to savor the look of happiness on your face that he was sure matched his own as you bit your lip out of slight embarrassment as the wave of ‘I cannot believe I just did that’ finally hit, though to him that look along with the fact that he now knew you really liked him back only made you that much more attractive.

“Sorry..” You muttered, a smile still on your face as you couldn’t help but chuckle at seeing him flustered and looking so naturally himself, the self that you had learned to love maybe a bit too much. “I’ve been kinda wanting to do that for a while.”

If he wasn’t already relieved before, hearing you confirm that you’ve been aching to be his as much as he was yearning to be yours made his heart soar with adoration and a liiittle bit of an ego boost that he probably didn’t need.

“Was it cool? Even without breakfast or the bed?” He questioned, still trying to keep things casual in a way, but with you, even being in a position he never thought he’d actually be in, it was easy to act naturally since he so naturally loved you.

“Oh yeah.” You laughed, pulling him closely into a tight hug that fit the two of you together so perfectly that it made it feel like you should have done this ages ago. “Perfectly,-“ You pulled back, giving him a peck on the lips that felt so right it made you giddy, “Extra-“, another kiss, this time with him returning the favor while trying hard not to let his own excitement take him too far as he relished in the fact that this was real and you were his and if he could help it, there’d be nothing in the world to change that “- and insanely cool.”

[ghostlyhamburger]

Gonna Rock Your World

Prompt: Striptease

Request: Adrienette with Mari stripping

Rating: E

Read on Ao3

Alya was the one who started it. Somehow while the group of four friends were hanging out in Marinette’s bedroom, the subject of stripping came up.

“Stripping is just taking off your clothes for money,” she claimed. “Anyone can do it.”

“No, there’s some art to it,” Marinette replied. “The girls who do well with it are basically athletes.”

“When have you seen strippers?” Nino asked, earning himself a throw pillow to the face.

“I think Marinette’s right,” Adrien said. “Looking good isn’t always easy.”

“Oh, is that why you used to have a stripper pole in your room?” Alya teased.

He flamed red and said, “It was a fireman pole.”

“Uh-huh,” she said, clearly not believing him. “Anyways, there’s only one way to settle this. Someone needs to strip.”

“Alya, no,” Marinette said.

“Alya, yes. Just down to underwear. Let me just pick someone…” Alya had long ago installed a randomizer app on her phone to make decisions for her in situations just like this. “Marinette! You’re up.”

“No way,” she said, her face turning bright red. “I’m not just going to take my clothes off!”

Alya leaned close to her and whispered. “You sure? Look at Adrien’s face.”

The boy in question was blushing and smiling at Marinette, unable to hide the way his gaze raked across her body.

“F-fine!” she said. “Just to underwear, right?”

“Yeah,” Alya said, starting to play some music from her phone. “Show us how ‘artsy’ stripping is!”

Marinette stood up and faced her friends. She awkwardly shuffled from side to side with the beat of the music as she grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head. She was thankful that she’d managed to wear a sort of matching lingerie set today—both her bra and panties were plain pink.

She couldn’t look at her friends once her shirt was off, so she turned her back to them before undoing her pants and shoving them to the ground in one quick motion. She stepped out of one leg of her pants as she turned around, her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

“There,” she said. “See? It takes skill. Which I don’t have.”

Alya gave her a devious smile. “You’re right. So, since you and Adrien are the smart ones, Nino and I are gonna get going and let you two be right together.”

They were out of the room in a flash, leaving Marinette half naked in front of an equally dumbfounded Adrien, who had crossed his legs at some point during her “performance”.

“I, uh sh-should get my clothes back on,” she said, blushing hard. She stepped forwards, intending to reach for her discarded shirt, but she didn’t get her other foot completely out of her pants leg. She fell forward, and Adrien instinctively moved forward to catch her, ending up kneeling in front of the chaise with Marinette wrapped in his arms.

His hands were splayed out along her bare back, feeling like fire on her skin. The awkward position had her face-to-face with his crotch, where she could see a noticeable bulge in his jeans that definitely wasn’t there before.

“Are you all right?” he asked softly.

“Y-yeah,” she replied. She was still staring at his dick. He was definitely going to notice her staring at his dick. She had to say something. “So I guess you liked watching me, huh?”

That was the wrong thing to say.

He laughed sheepishly and crossed his legs again as he sat back on the chaise. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make it weird…but, uh, yeah, watching you was pretty nice.”

She bit her lip and dared to look at his face, seeing him just as red as her. His shyness somehow made her bold, and the words spilled from her lips before she had time to think. “You know, technically, I’m not done stripping…”

“I-if you’re comfortable with it,” he said. “I don’t want to make you—”

She silenced him by moving a little closer, placing her finger on his lips. She stood up, channeling her inner Ladybug as she gently, subtly swayed her hips. She bent forward, resting her hands on the back of the chaise on either side of his head, noting how his eyes moved to her chest. She gently pushed one hand against his knee, prompting him to uncross his legs, before she knelt on the chaise, straddling his lap.

Her heart was racing, and she forced herself to pay attention to his reaction, the way his lips were parted with his tongue darting out to wet them, the way he stared at her with his eyes wide, dark with—lust? She had to hope.

She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, watching as he watched her breasts. She slowly slid the straps off her arms before throwing the whole garment to the side, leaving herself completely topless in front of the love of her life.

“Marinette,” Adrien groaned, and all the embarrassment was worth it to hear him sound so wrecked saying her name.

She rested her hands on his shoulders and leaned close to him, feeling her breasts brush against the fabric of his shirt as she murmured, “Do you want to touch me, Adrien?”

He raised his hands tentatively, looking at her, an unasked question on his face. She nodded slightly, then gasped when he touched her hair, gently working it out of her usual pigtails. He ran his fingers through her locks as they fell loose around her shoulders, a gentle smile on his face.

“Adrien,” she whispered, feeling more exposed than ever. “C-can I—”

“Anything,” he said, his voice low, husky. “God, Marinette…”

She kissed him. She didn’t let herself take the time to think, just closed the distance between them and pressed her lips to his. He moved his arms around her, holding her close as he returned the kiss, his lips soft and warm on hers.

The soft, sweet kiss soon turned to something more. His tongue slid against hers, and he moved one hand along her side, tantalizingly close to her breast. She gripped at his shirt, fingers finding the hem and tugging to lift it over his head.

They parted just long enough for her to throw his shirt to the side, then they were kissing again, her breasts warm against his bare chest. His hands moved to grip her ass, pulling her close so every part of her was pressed against him. Her hips rolled against him and she moaned as his cock pressed between her legs.

“A-Adrien,” she moaned, wanting, needing more. She moved back, getting off of him so she could stand before him and shimmy her panties down her hips, finally fully stripped.

He smiled as he looked over her naked form. “You’re so beautiful…I feel overdressed.”

She smirked in response and said, “I can help with that.” She knelt in front of him and undid his jeans.

“Fuck, Marinette,” he murmured, lifting his hips slightly so she could slide off his pants and boxers.

“That’s the idea,” she replied with a cheeky grin, all semblance of shyness having been shed away with her clothing. She moved her gaze to his cock, finally seeing what she’d been dreaming about since high school. She reached out gently and grasped his length, sliding her hand along his shaft.

He groaned, hips bucking slightly, pressing himself into her touch. “Ma-Marinette!”

She leaned close and pressed a small kiss to the tip of his cock before opening her mouth and taking him in. His hands gripped her hair, fingers twisting in her hair as he pulled her close. She tried to curl her tongue around his shaft, wanting to taste as much of him as possible.

He let out a strangled cry and bucked his hips, pushing himself down her throat suddenly. She gagged and pulled back as she felt bile threaten to come up.

“Sorry,” he said, his eyes wide, his face unsure. “I didn’t mean—just so good—”

Marinette breathed hard, forcing herself to feel sort of normal. She stood so she could straddle him on the chaise again, kissing the corner of his mouth before gasping against his lips as she felt his cock brush against her core. “I—I want you,” she murmured. “Please, Adrien?”

“God, yes,” he responded. His eyes were blown wide still, but he was smiling slightly, making no attempt to hide his gaze as he stared at her breasts. He lifted one hand to touch her chest, cupping her and gently squeezing the soft flesh.

She moaned softly as she felt sparks of electric energy rush through her, from her breast to the growing ache between her legs. She gently grabbed Adrien’s other hand, sliding it down her stomach, guiding his fingers to her pussy.

He touched her gently, fingertips exploring her slit before pushing into her, sending a jolt of fuckyesgood through her body. He moved his hand in her as he kissed her lips again, seeming to relish in the way she squirmed and gasped against his lips.

His fingers slipped out of her too soon, but they were replaced by something harder, bigger, hotter entering her. She groaned, her eyes meeting his as he pulled her hips down to meet his, letting his cock push deep inside her.

“Adrien,” she breathed. She needed to shut her eyes, enjoy the bliss of this moment, memorize the feeling of him inside her.

“Marinette!” He lifted his hips, thrusting into her again, before he kissed her again, dotting her neck, her chest with his lips. He kissed her breast, his tongue flicking against her nipple.

“Adrien—ahh, Adrien—I—god, I love you,” she moaned as she ground herself against him, fucking herself on his cock. She didn’t see the way his eyes widened at her confession, but she definitely noticed him slipping a hand behind her head and pressing his mouth to hers, his tongue finding her lips as he groaned against her.

She came as he kissed her, letting her body melt against his as she moaned his name, her voice almost lost to gasps and cries of pleasure as everything for one moment was absolutely perfect.

Adrien groaned as he moved his hips faster before suddenly stilling, releasing into her. He said nothing as he came, instead silencing himself by kissing Marinette again, holding her tight.

They separated just enough for Marinette to rest her forehead against Adrien’s, smiling at him.

“Marinette,” Adrien murmured, his hand on her cheek, thumb softly brushing her skin. “Do you want to go on a date sometime?”

The timing was just insane. She burst out laughing before replying through her giggles, “Yeah. Yes, I’d love to.”

He smirked, shifting so he was no longer inside her, but still so, so close to her. “Is it because you love me?”

She turned red. “Oh my god I did say that, didn’t I?”

“You loooove me,” he teased in a singsong way.

Marinette rested her head against his shoulder and just said, “Yeah. I do.”

[sapphiretsuki]

Surprise! Gift Time!

This is something I wrote while sitting next to the intended receiver. I took incredible joy in answering her questions about what I was writing with a smug “None of your business” when it was in fact very much her business. I’m kinda proud of this beast. I got a little out of control with the word count but whatevers clever right? So, without further ado, @channiesmixtape​ , this is a gift for you. I’m SO proud of the leaps and bounds you make with your writing every day and with your undying belief that I’m some sort of incredible writer. It means so much to me. (Please don’t hate me if I didn’t do your baby justice, I TIRED!) It’s untitled as of this very second, because I’m just not witty enough at this hour, but I’ll add one later when the inspiration returns.

Pairing: Bang Chan x Y/N (neighbors, enemies to lovers)

Word count: 6511 (I swear I didn’t mean to!)

Smut, masturbation, oral (m/f), unprotected sex, talk of condoms, wine, comedy, sass. If I forgot anything particularly bothersome, lemme know and I’ll fix it. Cr. to google for the lovely pic also.

It had been such a bad day all you wanted to do was go home and curl up with some wine and pet your cat and not emerge from your comfort cocoon for days if you could help it. Your boss was a total thunder cunt. People apparently lacked any form of common sense. Basic decency was no where to be found from anyone at all today. You missed a package because the tracking info was incorrect, so now you were going to have to squeeze that into your Monday somehow. Great. Thank fuck it was Friday.

You unlocked the door to your apartment and chucked the keys in the general direction of the kitchen as you were slipping your black pumps off. Your cat, Whispurr, was doing his daily dance around your ankles now that you were home and could tend to his kingly nature. Oh you loved that little butthole. Even though he threw up on the floor and started your days spiral into the land of what in the actual fuck when you stepped in it. He was still basically all you had and asshole or not he was there for you in his weird catty way. "Hey buddy, I'll get you some food in just a sec. Lemme just slip out of these terrible hose and I'll be right back." You leaned down and gave him a little scratch under his chin for good measure before nodding and heading to your room.

Once in your room you wasted no time at all peeling the awful pantyhose from your legs. Somebody had decided that full on business attire was a must today for the outings to meet with clientele and so you were forced to leave the comfort of your pants and blazer for something 'more feminine' as your boss had put it. She had absolutely no idea and it killed you every time she opened her mouth. The amount of time you spent covering for her and cleaning up behind her with clients all day since she'd decided to leave the office and 'tag along' to 'express her thanks' was exhausting. In the midst of peeling off the hose you decided that a nice scalding shower would be the start of your fix-it list for the evening. You finished undressing and threw a robe on before tiptoeing back to the kitchen.

Cat and then clean. That was absolutely the correct order, because your cat would most certainly do something heinous in retaliation if you neglected to feed him in a timely manner. You're sure his level of sass would put actual royalty to shame. He showed up on your balcony one night a few years ago as a drowned puff that you were both unsure how he got there or if he was going to make it. A few vet visits and some paycheck to paycheck living for a bit and here he was. A permanent resident. The freeloading roommate as it were. You put his food in his bowl and added a little extra something just because. You had a feeling he was gonna need some buttering up to be your cuddle buddy while you downed wine and watched terrible Netflix.

You traipsed down the hallway and made your way into the bathroom, neglecting to grab anything to change into since you figured the robe was more than enough for a session on the couch with the remote and a glass. You cranked the shower to scalding and decided you were going to unwind in the tub after you scrubbed off. Bless the water heaters in your complex, you paid enough for the damn utilities, that knob also got turned to hot and you tossed in a bomb and some dry flower stuff your friend swore by. It smelled good and thats really all your tired body cared about in that moment. After stepping into the shower and relishing in the heat meant to melt the skin off lesser mortals, you lathered up your loofah and scrubbed like there was a fire in the building and you needed to get out. The same speed was applied to your hair, which left you free and clear to melt into the tub and not move until the water was cold if you chose.

Feeling moderately better than you did when you walked in the door, you decided music was an excellent companion for a good soak and set about cranking the volume on your phone and hitting the shuffle button before laying it on the counter. The tenor voice of the man singing that began pouring out of the phone speaker immediately had you feeling the pangs of need and you squeezed your legs together as you pursed your lips in thought. It had been quite some time since you'd had a casual lay. Partly because your last friend with benefits turned into some sort of possessive psycho and partly because your newish neighbor was insufferable and somehow always managed to ruin your recent date situations. You were convinced the universe had conspired against you and the root of it was your stupid and ridiculously hot neighbor, Christopher. He hated when you called him that and it served him right.

Resigning yourself to the fact that you were just going to have to be your own relief tonight, you sunk into the tub and let the silky water wash over your tired and needy body. One song melted into another and you couldn't resist the urge to reach down and take care of your sudden desire. You knew if you let it be you'd just be miserable later and the whole mission this evening was following the theme of fix it. Not one to be anything less than straightforward, you began to slip your fingers into your doubly slick folds and stroked a little before you felt entirely too impatient to drag the process out. You hooked your fingers into your warm channel and began to stroke and scissor your fingers while your thumb pressed firm circles on your clit. You hoped the music and sloshing sounds from the water were enough to cover the sounds of what it was you were doing since the walls weren't the greatest in the bathroom area in terms of thickness. Shared plumbing and all that. You were so close to completion, right on the precipice of sweet release when you heard a loud crash in your apartment the general direction of your living room.

You quickly wrap a towel around your body and then make your way as swiftly to the front of your apartment as wet feet would allow. You skipped flipping lights on in favor of the element of surprise. Heart just about thumping out of your chest, you round the corner and turn on a single light, but don't see anything apparently out of place. It dawns on you at that moment that you are still essentially dripping wet and flew to the scene of some nonexistent crime practically naked. What if someone had been standing there waiting? You heart rate spikes at the thought and you felt anxious again. So much for your relaxing bath. Deciding you'd investigate the cause of the sound more closely after you felt more secure, you turned to make your way back down the hallway to put some clothes on, there was no way you were just going to be lounging in only a robe after that ordeal. The idea crossed your mind that perhaps you should double check the lock on the door at the very least, and ever the indecisive individual, you turn again and head towards the door instead. As you near the door you hear something and stop dead in your tracks. It sounded like feet on the concrete and now your heart was ratcheting it's way into your throat.

Completely convinced now that someone had in fact been in your house, you began to hatch a wild plan. With a burst of courage that was probably completely unfounded, you grabbed a vase off the console table nearby and in a rush flung the door open with a shout. "Who the fuck are you and what were you doing in my home?!" You screeched as you made to throw the potentially deadly item at the perpetrator. Much to your dismay, you hadn't remembered your current state of mostly undress and as you went to throw the vase your towel decided it had had enough and fell. What happened next could only be something from a terrible comedy and as you attempted to snatch at the only barrier between you and semi public indecency you somehow got tangled up and not only failed to throw the vase you ended up on the floor sans towel and with your bare ass exposed to whoever was standing there, glass all around you.

"Woah sweetheart, woah!" You'd know that accent anywhere. Of all the people that could have been on the other side of your door, why him? Why the man that in equal measures infuriated you and was the star of many restless nights and wet dreams. Anger was at the forefront and as you scrambled to retrieve your cover you spat at him "Christopher you have less than five seconds to explain yourself, and for fucks sake quit gawking at me! What in the hell are you doing here? Were you in my apartment?"

"Slow down little lady, I was not in your apartment." He said while waving his hands in front of himself to signal that he wasn't a threat. Those same hands that you found your eyes fixated on on more than one occasion, including now. Shaking the thought away you asked "Then what the hell are you doing? And don't try to tell me you weren't outside my door, I heard you pacing." He had the decency to look a little sheepish at that, and while you secured the towel around yourself he said "Your lights were all off but I heard a loud crash and worried that something happened here." It made sense, but you were still angry. And embarrassed. Not only had he seen you completely naked,  he looked completely unbothered while you were still contemplating his long fingers and stupid beautiful face and body and damn it you were staring again. Of course he showed up in a pair of grey sweats that left you sweating yourself. And was he shirtless? Could this day get any worse? You just wanted to get to that bottle of wine and curl up into a ball and hope that the earth opened up and swallowed you whole. Shaking off the stupor once again you remembered your second problem, namely the glass that was now all around you from your valiant attempt at thief catching. You were going to have to ask for his help up.

Gritting your teeth you prepared yourself for the inevitable smug look you knew he was going to sport when you opened your mouth to ask him for something. "Christopher, would you mind helping me up, I'm kind of, uh, stuck here."  You knew it was coming, but nothing could ever prepare you for the damn dimple. Stupid attractive man. "Now sweetheart," he drawled, "Is that really any way to ask someone for help? And I believe I've told you many times to call me Chan."  Fine if he was going to be stubborn, you could also be stubborn. You looked up to him standing in your doorway and in the most saccharine voice you could muster, you cocked your head to the side and said "Channie, I really need help up. Can you help me please?" He audibly gulped and you counted that as two wins because finally the bastard was showing something other than a ridiculous level of cocky charm, and now he should have no qualms with helping you.

He took too long to move and you figured he was plotting again, so being the headstrong brat that you were you started to move yourself. As you were about to plant your palm on the ground next to you he suddenly snatched your arm with  warning, " That's dangerous, just let me help you foolish woman." It was your turn to flounder as the feeling of his palm wrapped around your slim arm felt like fire and suddenly there were no more smart comebacks because you felt breathless. In one swift motion he pulled you to your feet and and then swept you literally off your feet. He had you in a firemans hold and began to make his way into your apartment, carefully dodging the shards of glass. Was your heart going to catch a break tonight? What was with this turn of events. He must have noticed your shiver because he picked up the pace and set you down gently on the other side of the disaster zone. "Go put some clothes on you must be freezing, I'll sweep this up. Where do you keep your broom?"

You wanted to protest. You really wanted him far away because you were on fire and didn't think you could even begin to have a normal interaction in your current state without being a complete mess. Breathless is how you felt, and the only saving grace is that he thought you were cold, not terribly turned on. Hell, you were still trying to process the feel of being pressed against that body almost nude yourself. Instead fuckery appeared and logical words came out. Well you weren't stuttering at least. "It's in the kitchen in the closet. I really appreciate your help, I was going to have a glass of wine to take the edge off my bad day, would you like one also? As uh, thanks for your help?" You sounded meek and you wanted to kick yourself. All of the adrenaline was gone and you were left with a weird mixture of relief and panic for a completely different reason now. He must have misunderstood because all he said with his back to you, already on a mission to help you again, was "Y/N. Go put some clothes on." You must have sounded weak to him when you said okay because he turned and his features softened. "I'll still be here when you come out, it's okay now, you're safe."

You didn't feel safe though as you padded back to your room in search of clothes. You felt rattled and hot.Your own body was set to betray you. Did the air conditioner break or something? It was just your neighbor helping you out. Your gorgeous neighbor. With a voice that should have been relegated to hotlines. Neighbors were friendly, right? What were you expecting anyways, it's not like you guys were the nicest to each other regularly. That's right, he himself must revel in your pain since he constantly was the source of dates ending on your doorstep and never amounting to more. His timing was something else. You realized you'd been standing in the middle of your room for too long and moved to put clothes on. Digging through your drawers you grabbed a super lacy pair of panties along with some shorts and a large t-shirt. You weren't trying to impress anyone, but underwear should always be beautiful was your policy. there was nothing wrong with a little self indulgence.

Perhaps you could call it a new beginning of sorts with him tonight. The extension of an olive branch in the form of a friendly glass of wine should aid that. Yes, friendly. You needed to pull yourself together and get your head out of the gutter. It didn't matter how wet he made your panties since there was very obviously no way that was ever gonna go anywhere. Shaking all thoughts of risque situations away, you took a towel to your hair and gave it a quick rub down before grabbing your brush from the vanity and tackling your tangles. Feeling a little less hot and a little bit more brave you made your way back down the hallway toward the kitchen to assess the damage and test your newfound bravery with the man who starred in a lot of your fantasies. You weren't going there. Nope. Nuh-uh. Olive branches. That's what you would focus on.

You quietly approached the kitchen granting yourself one tiny moment to enjoy the view of Chan's back muscles as you saw him putting the broom back in the closet. He really should put a shirt on. "So, whats the damage?" You called out to get his attention. He spun on his heel and looked you up and down. You could swear you saw something in his eyes, but refusing to play into any delusions, you pressed onward, "everything okay in here? You didn't happen to see what the mysterious crash was all about did you?" He rubbed the back of his neck and dammit his abs, and that delicious v that trailed down into those wretched sweats he was wearing, and were you drooling? What the fuck. You quickly rubbed your mouth with the back of your hand and hoped he hadn't noticed. "Well a bit of bad news, sugar, your cat, quite charming little guy by the way, or maybe thats just his drunk showing?" He scratched his chin and made a face that reminded you of that stupid thinking emoji and you bit back a smile. "Well, your cat appears to have acquired a taste for the red, bit of a lush it seems. He either knocked your bottle down or it fell. Either way, he's been in the booze." Your eyes darted to where he was pointing and sure enough there was your little asshole sitting in the middle of the kitchen licking the purple off his white tipped paws. He had bits of purple around his mouth and was he swaying? "WHISPURR!" you shouted and the little jerk just gave you a look like he couldn't be bothered.

Totally frustrated now, you threw your arms in the air and let out a sound of pure exasperation. Chan must have found it funny because he let out a little chuckle before you shot him a glare that could freeze fire. "It is absolutely NOT funny. This day has been one bad thing on top of another and now my damn cat is even in on it. I was really looking forward to that damn glass of wine" You felt like you were genuinely on the verge of tears and Chan started to approach you. He put his hands on your shoulders and said, "Hey, hey. It'll be okay. I have an idea. While its probably not as nice as what your cat had a taste for, my little sister left a few bottles of wine over at my place the last time she was fighting with her boyfriend and took it upon herself to come crash there. How about I go grab one or two and we can watch something and you can forget all about your day?" You felt drained and could do nothing but nod. His body in proximity to yours was doing things to your sanity. Part of you thought this was a bad idea and you should just thank him and send him on his way, but there was another part of you that was excited at the prospect of spending some time with him without animosity involved. Hopefully the bastard put a shirt on before he came back.

You told him you'd just leave the door unlocked if he was going to be quick and set about making some popcorn. You were gonna coat it in butter and too bad if he didn't like it. If this night was going to be full of bad decisions the least you were going to allow yourself were the extra calories. You grabbed two glasses and the bowl of popcorn and set off for the living room to set up the streaming services while you awaited his return. After you got everything powered on you went to the linen closet to toss some fluffy blankets at the couches. As you made it back to the living room he had reappeared with a bottle in each hand. Much to your dismay he still lacked a shirt and now you began to wonder if you were going to be able to focus on whatever you decided to watch at all. Whatever, it's not like you were taking a test on the content. He had a bottle of red, and a bottle of white, so you took the white off his hands and headed to the kitchen. You threw the bottle in the fridge and grabbed the corkscrew before making your way back to the living room. You expertly popped the cork on the bottle and then turned to him and asked, "So any preference to what we watch? I realize I know very little about your likes." He seemed to get a kick out of that but answered anyway "Can we watch something action? I've kinda had a long day and don't want to fall asleep. Bonus points if it includes Chris Hemsworth, he's my mancrush." He threw a wink at you and that smile that made that cursed dimple pop and now you found yourself on autopilot and typing the franchise name into the search bar. Did he realize how dangerous his behavior was?

"Okay sit wherever, I threw tons of cushions and blankets and junk around, make yourself comfortable." He nodded and made to sit on the couch you were hoping he'd avoid. Like hell you were going to sit anywhere other than front and center though so your stubborn popped out again and as nonchalantly as you could, you plopped down next to him and covered your legs with one of the throw blankets you had laying around. Scooting your ass to the edge of the couch you leaned towards the coffee table and poured a glass for each of you. You turned to hand one to him and could have sworn he was staring at your ass. You disregarded the thought and raised your glass his direction to toast. "Thank you for all your help this evening." He raised his glass to meet yours and added on "It was really not a problem sugar." The way the word sugar rolled off his tongue. Sugah. You gulped and raised your cup. Clinking glasses you both took a swig and you snatched the remote up to hit play.

As the movie rolled you found yourself sneaking glances every so often, even though you swore that you were going to leave well enough alone. Maybe it was the wine finally letting the tension leave your body, but you didn't feel as on edge as you had and maybe thats where the bravery was coming from. Your best friend often told you you didn't think things through. You hadn't been paying attention to the movie and a loud blast made you jump and suddenly his attention was on you. Busted. "Baby girl, am I really so interesting? You've been looking at me an awful lot." And there was that smug look you were so accustomed to again. This man was so infuriating. It was your own fault though. As usual you couldn't leave well enough alone and found yourself in the spotlight. Self preservation attempted to kick in and you scoffed. "You're insane. Don't think so highly of yourself, I just wanted to make sure you weren't actually falling asleep since you said you were tired," you attempted feigning ignorance. "Well yeah, lets say I'm a little crazy. Sugar the fault is all your own though. I'm trying my very best to be a gentleman here and you're doing everything in your power to make that impossible."

Movie long forgotten you let your emotions get the better of you and out came the word vomit. "Look, I'm well aware that you hate me, but you don't get to come in here and be rude. I'm trying to patch whatever this THIS is between us," you say as you swing your hands between the two of you to convey the things words are failing to express. You continue, "Don't think that just because you're stupidly attractive with your stupid dimples and your stupid abs and your stupidly sexy voice that you can just oomf-" Suddenly his mouth was on yours swallowing the words you  were endlessly spewing and you froze as he wrapped his muscular arms around you body and pulled you closer. You gasped as you realized his mouth was actually on yours and he used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Throwing all caution to the wind and keeping true to your typical do first ask later nature, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the passion you could muster. Long held frustrations coming out, you explored his mouth like it was an oasis in the desert and you were a weary traveller seeking respite.

Breathing heavily you broke away from the kiss in need of oxygen and searched his face for any sign of regret. Instead you were smacked with such a look of lust that the air in the room felt heavy again and before you could screw it up by opening your mouth you decided to put it to better use. You climbed on top of him straddling his lap and kissed him again. This time he froze, but undeterred you felt around for his arm without breaking the kiss and raised his hand to your chest. You felt relief when he squeezed your breast and he gasped. "You're not wearing a bra," he panted out. "Of course you're not wearing a bra. Are you literally trying to kill me Y/N? I already told you I was trying to be a gentleman, and look at what you're doing to me. Baby girl I'm not going to be able to stop if this goes any further." You were suddenly aware of just how rock hard he was as he shifted in discomfort and his cock grazed your clit though the layers of clothes between you. "So don't." you said, "Don't stop Chan. Show me just what I'm supposedly doing to you." He growled and flipped you off his lap and was on top of you in an instant caging you in between those gorgeous arms of his. He leaned in and his hot breath on your ear made your already ruined underwear feel like a dam about to burst. He whispered in your ear, "Baby girl, I'm gonna fuck you until you can't walk tomorrow, but you're far too dressed for that right now." He nipped at you ear before moving to take your shirt off.

You were in awe of his rippling abs as he pulled himself upright when your face reappeared from the inside of the gigantic shirt. Brushing his bangs out of his face he leaned down and began pressing open mouthed kisses from you hipbone up your stomach and to the valley between your breasts. He enclosed his lips around one of your nipples, sucking fiercely, and began to rub the other between his thumb and forefinger. You felt your nipples tighten to the point that it was almost painful and began to squirm with need. He reached down and stilled you with a hand on your hip, "Ah ah, we'll get there sugar, but I' gonna take my sweet time. I'm supposed to be showing you right? Where's the fun if it's over too fast?" He hooked his fingers in the waistband of your tiny shorts and in one swift motion slid them down your legs. Taking a moment to appreciate you in nothing but a pair of sinfully sexy panties you could swear he growled again as he roughly pulled the crotch of them aside and slid those illegal fingers of his through the incredibly wet folds hidden within. "Look at how wet you are. What exactly has you so drenched Y/N? Hmmm?" He made to wipe his fingers off on his sweats but you snatched his wrist and brought the digits to your mouth. Slowly swirling your tongue around them, the taste of yourself foreign, you watched his eyes widen and his incredible smile appeared again. He peeled the panties off you and took another moment to appreciate your fully nude body. You suddenly felt exposed since he still had clothes on and you were completely naked. "It's not fair if I'm the only one naked Chan," you pouted.

He let out a lighthearted laugh and stood up to take his pants off. He was smirking at you when he looked your direction, you must have been staring but the anticipation was killing you at this point and you didn't care. "You still have too much on." you stated matter-of-factly. His boxer briefs were barely containing the tent and you were pretty sure you could see a wet spot on the front of them. He gave a shrug and went to remove them and his cock sprang free of the confines. Okay now you were definitely salivating. Was it okay to call a cock pretty? His was beautiful and you found yourself wanting to devour it whole. You're sure he picked up on your increased desire but you were completely uninhibited and shameless now and the words were out before you could think twice. "Can I taste you?" He moved to stand in front of you and you sat up greedy and impatient. You wrapped your hand around the base of it and took a moment to appreciate the large vein running up the underside. It reminded you of the veins in his hands and arms and you licked your lips before wrapping your mouth around the head and sucking down the length of it. You could see his hands clench into fists as you began to bob your head up and down and hollow your cheeks as you swallowed around the girth of him. There was drool running down your chin and he was so big you couldn't take all of him so you gripped what you couldn't and stroked in time with the motion of your head. You could hear him panting and feel the twitching and pulsing as you picked up the pace. He pulled away and your lips left his cock with a pop. "As fantastic as your mouth feels wrapped around my cock, I have some other things in mind babe, I wanna cum buried inside that sweet pussy of yours"

You clamped your legs together tighter as the thought of his dick confined inside you had you feeling like you were a faucet. You were sure there was a large puddle on your couch you were going to have to deal with later but you couldn't be bothered to care just yet. Standing, you grabbed his hand and proceeded to move down the hallway towards your room. Once you cleared the doorway you spun on your heel and on tiptoe pressed your mouth and body to his. You were in need of friction and figured the best way to facilitate that would be to ruffle his feathers a little. "Christopher, I thought you were going to fuck me until I couldn't walk. I'm not a very patient woman." Before you could run your mouth anymore he marched you backwards towards your bed and when the back of your knees hit the mattress he lightly shoved you and you fell backward. The fluffy comforter cushioned your fall and he was there immediately sucking bruises into your neck, his hands wildly exploring your body. He began to stroke your folds and inserted one finger and then another easily due to the overwhelming amount of fluids you were producing. He hooked his fingers and brushed that spongy spot inside that made you tremble. As he continued his assault on your neck and pussy you could feel the burning tension begin to build up in your abdomen and knew you were finally, finally close to cumming. The walls of your pussy were clamping around the rhythmic thrusts of his fingers and he also knew you were close. He abruptly pulled his fingers out and the sense of emptiness and you moaning in frustration. "Please oh my god, I'm so close, please please." you whined.

He dropped to his knees and wrenched your legs wide apart and before you could question anything at all mis mouth was on your clit and your first instinct was to clamp your legs around his head. He kept your legs spread wide and continued fucking you with his mouth. He flattened his tongue and licked a few long stripes up your pussy "I'm going to let go of your legs, I need you to be a good girl and not thrash okay?" You were so desperate for release you would have agreed to anything. "I'm not hearing yes sugar, can you do that for me?" You mustered up your voice and choked out, "Y-yes Channie," and that was all it took. He wrapped his lips around your clit and began sucking on it again while simultaneously ramming his fingers back in your dripping channel. The tension was back and you were trembling from trying to keep your legs spread. Your orgasm washed over you in waves of white hot pleasure and you came all over his tongue and fingers. He worked you through it and when the overstimulation became too much you couldn't stay splayed out any longer and let your legs fall. He pulled back with a smirk and pressed a kiss to your temple before kissing you on the mouth. You really thought you could learn to love the taste of yourself if it came from a mind blowing orgasm like that every time.

"Do you have any condoms baby girl? I'd hate to have to go next door." he asked. Your head lolled to the side, still drunk off your post orgasm high and you said, "In the drawer beside the bed, theres a brand new box. I uh, haven't gotten to use any of them. I'm also clean and on the pill." He smirked at this and you were more alert than a moment ago as you wondered what that look was about. "I know," he said cockily. "I've seen how many dates left you wanting. Pathetic excuses and all that. I've also heard you take care of yourself in the bathroom Y/N. If you've wanted me for as long as you've been using me to get off, all you had to do was say so."

You were suddenly very aware of what had been going on and didn't know whether to feel angry or embarrassed or to just take what you were finally being gifted. You decided all three were appropriate. "You little shit! You sabotaged my dates on purpose! I knew your timing every. single. time. was just too coincidental! And so what if I used you to get off?! I can throw your words back at you, if you've wanted me for that damn long how come you never said anything?" He looked like he hadn't expected your outburst, but it was going to take more than a mind blowing orgasm to make you stupid enough to not address the elephant that was now sitting in the room. "You're you. That's what. You're so funny and attractive and sassy. So sassy. It's not like you've ever given me any reason to think you actually liked me. I finally figured you out a little better tonight though, your rough exterior is definitely hiding something incredibly sweet. You don't have to be embarrassed, or hide yourself from me. I'd already fallen your your stubborn ass a long time ago."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. How was this even possible? You were both idiots. Total fools. "You stupid man." You said and he looked like you'd kicked him. "No, no, you're not stupid. We're stupid," you sighed, "if we both weren't so stupid we could have been not dancing around each other a long time ago." He looked up again and had this stupidly endearing and hopeful look on his face. You decided to show him mercy and squash the awkward situation "If you don't get over here and keep your promise to fuck me until I can't stand, I might have to reconsider my stance on this." You smirked at him now and the look of challenge on your face had him covering you again in an instant. He kissed you deeply before lining his cock up with you entrance and dragging it through your pussy lips before he entered your slick heat. The feeling of being so full after so long left you breathless, but also oddly complete. He rocked into your core slowly at first and then picked up the pace as your moans became louder. The sounds of skin slapping against skin and moans echoed throughout the room and you could feel another orgasm building. "Feels so good Chan, mmmm right there," you breathed out as he shifted and this new angle had him brushing against your g-spot with every pass. He reached down to rub circles on your clit and you completely fell apart around his dick as you moaned his name. His strokes becoming sloppy with his own impending release his hips stuttered to a stop as your pussy milked him for every drop of cum he had and he painted your insides.

Breathing heavily you admired the strength he demonstrated in not collapsing on you and as you felt him soften and slip out you suggested you guys maybe get cleaned up a little. "Mmm I don't think I wanna" he said as he nuzzled into your neck affectionately. He was impossible, and adorable, and apparently maybe yours now. "Let's at least lay in the bed the right way then, yeah?" He appeared to think about that for a moment before he stood up and pulled you to your feet. He turned down the comforter and climbed into the bed and with his dimples on full display pat the spot next to him beckoning you to join him. You shook your head and laughed but climbed in beside him. He wrapped the blanket around you both before proceeding to wrap himself around you like a koala. You can take the man out of the land, but not the land out of the man you supposed. True to his word before the night was over you were thoroughly tended to. Several times. When morning came and you truly couldn't walk very well, he brought you breakfast in bed. It was definitely the perfect turn around for the travesty that yesterday was and you were looking forward to not hating your neighbor anymore.

[neshabeingchildish]

Determined: A Chasper Fic Conclusion

Second half of the chapter is extremely kid heavy. I feel like those actually reading this know how I am about kids and writing kids into these things. Alas, we’ve reached the end of this journey. Thank you to all those who stuck with it. I know this fandom isn’t a long story fandom and I apologize that I keep doing this to y’all. But, finally, the end is here.

Happy, Healthy Endings for All

Henry pulled up to the gate of “the estate” and when he was going to push the button on the little box, heard a beep and a voice say, “Henry Hart, Access Granted,” before he had the chance to do so. 

“They’ve most likely programmed it to scan your car… or your DNA,” Piper commented with a shrug of her shoulders. 

“How rich are our friends these days?” Henry wondered.

“Well, Charlotte is a genius who works with tech and DNA stuff, so she might have done it herself, but if not, Jasper is literally the highest paid executive coach in the country as of last year,” Piper said. 

“I honestly thought for a while that Jasper made that career up and I still don’t even know what that means!” Henry chimed. 

“He tells big bosses how to be better bosses and writes books to help little bosses become big bosses, if they have enough money to do so.”

“Yeah, I don’t understand HOW, either. Like… Who looked at Jasper and decided that he knew this stuff? Is he good at it, or just one of those people who got lucky and gets paid a lot?”

“The companies that he helps have better stats after he’s done helping them reevaluate their model. He’s gonna get one of those Netflix deals, I think. To get his own show where he basically goes in there and you see a few of his projects. He writes books, does speaking engagements, invests his money, and is kind of even helping Charlotte to try to branch out on her own. He just… is good at what he does. But, I mean… Jasper’s kind of been this way. Remember whenever he was doing his vlog and podcast and he’d get all these places and fans sending him stuff? He has a knack for smoothing people over. I think if somebody is confident enough, people are willing to at least hear them out and when he got his foot in the door that way, he owned it.”

“Are you… giving Jasper compliments?”

“No. I’m telling you nice things about Jasper. Did you ever see his “How to be a Good Man to a Difficult Woman” series on his channel? He’s got some very good life skills, when he takes the time to think about it and not just blurts stuff out.”

“Wait. He had a…” He stopped speaking whenever he got closer to the house and the yard, which had a very enormous playground, off to the side like… almost like a park and a huge garden on the other side, with like… what his mind could only seem to think of as a “tiny neighborhood” beside them. “Did this come with the house?” Henry wondered.

“Nope. Jasper had it commissioned. Sat down with the kids and got their ideas, worked on some designs, spoke with his architect, and voila.”

“Why are there so many little houses here when the big house is huge?” 

“That you’ll have to ask them.”

.

Jasper was giving directions to the crew that he had working on this event, which Henry could tell were frat boys who probably knew him as an alumnus and wanted to make good with him. He could hardly believe that his Craig used to be one of those guys. He’d be meeting them later on, because he had some work emergency and insisted that Henry go on without him.

Whenever the Hart siblings walked up, Jasper dismissed the crew and came to hug them. “Hey! Glad you two could actually make it! I think this is your first time coming to the estate at all, so what do you think, finally seeing it in person?” (That was more to Henry, because Piper saw it before, even if it was only in the beginning.)

“What is this property, Dude?” Henry asked, marvelling around.

Jasper smiled proudly, “Well, the site where Charlotte will be opening her center after her hospital fellowship is in this area, so I wanted to make sure that we had a house near here. I can work from anywhere. Still unsure if we want to fully transition out of the old house, since so much of the kids’ memories are there, and Char’s still got a few years before she’ll even be opening the practice, but they’re all still young enough where you set up enough fun stuff and they don’t even know what their previous memories were. I don’t really want to rent it out and have anybody mess up any of the sentimental stuff, but we’ll probably have it for AirBNB for a while or something. Haven’t decided.” 

“What are all these little houses, Dude?” Henry asked, pointing at a few.

“Oh, that’s Jazz’s treehouse, up in the tree, and Amber’s dollhouse, Ruby’s funhouse and the baby playhouse for the new baby. It’s like a little kiddo community for them, and all of them have their dream playground in the community “backyard.” On the other side is Charlotte’s she shed, which is one of my birthday gifts to her…”

“It’s like… the size of a regular house,” Henry pointed out. 

“We’re on our fourth kid. Locking herself in the bathroom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, even in a house as big as our last one, or even as big as the new house,” he said, so casually, that it almost made sense to Henry for them to have a whole other goddamn house a few feet away from their ridiculously huge house! “And her garden is like her front yard, then there’s the three dog houses. The kids want a puppy, so we’ll be getting another one, and already are making room for them. The Kiddo community and the Doggo community right across the way from each other. Charlotte’s she shed and her home lab on either side of the big house.” He was pointing at everything. “Took YEARS to get it just perfect and I figured since the timeline was so close, that instead of doing the whole housewarming thing that we’ve done in the past that we’d just throw Charlotte’s 30th Birthday party here and get showing off the property and showering her in love all over with in one event. Plus, Diamond is coming ANY day now, so by the time we’ve got them coming home, there won’t be time for socializing between getting them nursed, Char’s fellowship, getting doctors and scientists and stuff for the clinic, lab, and the spaces in the center, and…” he shrugged. Henry noted that Jasper looked the happiest that he had ever seen him. Like, everything in his life was perfect. He hoped Charlotte was feeling the same. He had been super busy at work. Springtime was very hectic for weddings and his busiest summer was right around the corner. Plus, he had a man now, and was still a Swellview hero.

“So, you decided on Diamond, huh?” Piper asked. “Just keeping the whole crystals/stones thing going?” 

“After Jasper, who was of course just named for me, we went with birthstones. Wanted to have their names be closer connected to Jasper’s than ours or something else. Amber was better than Citrine or Topaz…” 

“Those are mine,” Henry said proudly to Piper. “November.”

Piper rolled her eyes. Jasper hadn’t stopped, “Ruby is my fellow Leo, and even though that’s typically considered a girl’s name, Ruby is thought of as King of gems, so we rationalized that it was  gender neutral and that if it wasn’t, we’d just have someone with a name that was as rare as the gem itself… you know, if they turned out to be a boy.”

“Ruby is actually a turning out to be a nuisance. They’re my favorite of all of your bad ass kids,” Piper said.

Instead of arguing that they weren’t bad kids (They weren’t, just very free kids). “I call them “Rascal,” Jasper said. “I don’t understand how they get into everything that they get into at 1. Jazz and Amber Reign at least waited until they were in the terrible 2s to begin their shenanigans. I think that they’re gonna be a genius, like Char. She was doing a lot at 1 too, I’m told...” 

Almost as if on cue, they heard Charlotte yelling, “Andro! Ruby Andromeda Dunlop!” the three looked up to see a barely walking 1 year old running quite haphazardly, holding something that appeared to be a food item tightly in their grip, laughing all the way, with a very pregnant mother chasing after them, running as haphazardly with all of that belly to lug around. 

Piper and Henry both cackled at the sight, but Jasper darted over and snatched up the baby and took the food from them. Charlotte caught up, caught her breath and explained, “I swear, I put it down for a split second to adjust my nursing pad and they grabbed it and ran!” Breathing still a little winded, she said, “Hey, Henry. Piper,” and retrieved her Danish. “I know that the party hasn’t started, but somebody made me miss breakfast,” she said pointing at Ruby. Piper reached for the baby and they went to her willingly. “And they go to Piper before they come to me… The person with the titty milk!”

“Because, I influence them to be the most them that they can be.”

“You can have them, at this rate,” Charlotte said. 

Jasper laughed, “She didn’t mean that. She can’t legally give them away. They’re half mine.”

“Where’s their bling?” Charlotte wondered, finishing off her pastry. “They’re family. They’ll need it for the family photo shoot, not that it’ll be very elegant, considering that Dunlop children are magnets for calamity.”

“It’s covered, Babe. Go sit down. You look like you’ve been through hell.” She frowned. “Beautiful, though!”

“Shut up,” she muttered, waddling back to where her seat was. 

The Dunlops were dressed in all white and diamonds (or you know, knock off crystals for the kids) for Charlotte’s 30th Birthday Diamond Ball. 

Jazz had selected to wear “whatever Daddy is wearing,” so they had a smaller version of his white, suit with opaque floral embroidery and crystal embellishments. They also already had their pants rolled up to the knees and had taken their mass of curls out of the neat braided bun that Charlotte had painstakingly put it into this morning. Fortunately, she’d had the foresight to make sure that they did the immediate family photo shoot before everything else. Charlotte noticed on the way back to her seat that Jazz had also taken their shoes and socks off. They were literally untamed before the party even began. She smiled and waved at them and they waved back, “Hey, Mommy! You look like a queen!”

“If you’re not gonna wear your fancy shoes, at least throw on your sneakers so you don’t hurt your feet on something!” Charlotte called back.

“I’ve got some in the treehouse!” They rushed to the tree, electing to climb the rope, instead of the ladder to retrieve sneakers. 

“You raised them to be independent,” Charlotte said. “Carefree Black child. Literally carefree. They don’t care ‘bout nothing.” 

At least Amber was still put together. They had wanted to wear a princess gown. “It’s a ball! I gotta wear a princess gown!” They insisted. They only had Disney ones in their collection and they needed white, so Charlotte asked them what gown they wanted a white version of. “All of them.”

“You can only wear one to Mommy’s birthday party, though.”

“What about Daddy’s birthday?”

“Daddy’s gonna have a grown man friends party for his birthday. We’re not gonna go to that. Maybe just have some cake at home earlier that day, and sure, you can have a gown for that, if you want.”

“What about my birthday?”

“Sure. For your birthday, you can definitely wear a white gown, but which one do you want for Mommy’s party?”

Amber laughed and placed a hand on Charlotte’s hand, like a little adult. “No, Mommy. For my birthday, I need all the gowns. White. Also… all of them, in yellow.” 

Charlotte smiled and said through her teeth, “Okay. Of course, it’s your birthday and Daddy has literally never told any of you ‘no,’ so I’m sure that we’ll be fulfilling that order. Now, you wanna tell Mommy what white gown you’ll wear to her ball?”

“Hmmm. Well, I think Tiana’s, but white. And I need to add a bustle, so I can dance with a prince, or Daddy if there’s only commoners.”

“Where did you learn the word bustle?” Charlotte whispered, making notes.

“Where did they learn the word “commoners?” Jasper wondered.

They instead made Amber a white Tiana gown that was short in the front, kind of like Char’s wedding dress, and a sparkly pair of white leggings, so that Amber wouldn’t protest too much to the lack of a bustle. Charlotte still didn’t know where they got that word from. But, passing by them on the swingset near their dollhouse, they were still dressed like she dressed them this morning, in their shoes and all.

Ruby being one, was the easiest to dress. Charlotte threw a white romper on them and a sunhat and they were the cutest kid in the world. Keeping it white and them out of trouble though? That was a task for somebody else today.

Charlotte’s twinkling maternity gown and updo made her look elegant enough for the party, but between her tiredness, hot flashes, being hungry A LOT, and rushing to the bathroom so much, she was lowkey miserable. She didn’t want to do a big thing for this birthday, being so close to her due date and this having been the most taxing pregnancy she had gone through, but Jasper seemed so excited about it and once the kids were in the mix with picking outfits and such, she felt obligated. 

He planned it for the weekend before her actual birthday, because the next weekend (a few days after her birthday) was around the due date. It was SO CLOSE. Their birthdays would be even closer together than hers and Jazz’s, which was at the beginning of the month and had been celebrated by unveiling the playground in the yard. Which was so extravagant, in Charlotte’s opinion. But, they had made sure to get a lot of land specifically TO BE extravagant, if they wanted to. 

Besides, Jasper paid for all of that, and what was she gonna do? Tell that man what he could and couldn’t do with his hard earned money? Jasper had always been extra, and now he could afford to be.

Jazz wanted a jungle gym. Amber wanted a carousel, and Jasper filled in a lot of the rest of it with stuff that he thought would be fun for them. She wondered if he wasn’t having some sort of early midlife crisis for a while, because he was extremely diligent on making this property perfect. But, that was because it would be their “Forever home” and he could pass it down from Dunlop to Dunlop for as long as they held it dear. “They’ve gotta hold it dear. It’s gotta be perfect. It’s my legacy.”

Watching him handle it was one of the ways she wound up pregnant again before he could have the chance to have a procedure. That man was simply too virile! And there was something about seeing him so passionately make plans and prep for their children’s futures that there was nothing sexier in the world than him in those moments. They scheduled his procedure after she realized that another Dunlop was on the way. Not that she had anything against her other 3 children, but four was twice what she initially saw for herself.

Charlotte LOVED being a mom. It was some of the best highlights of her life. She never would have expected to love it so much, but she absolutely did, aside from the pain of labor, her suffering was generally minimal. (Mainly, because she knew all of the rules medically, and she was able to figure out any necessary changes that she needed to make in her routine whenever her body called for it. 

She also loved the idea of helping other people safely become moms, especially with the somehow increasing number of fatalities in Black women attempting to do so. So, whenever she finished medical school, her residency and fellowship, she finally was confident and prepared enough to open her own center. 

She would be working as a medical biochemist, specializing in genetics for infants and childrens’ care. The site had an OBGYN, a pediatrician, a gynecologist, and a fertility specialist, when they started out. She wanted to make another option for women who might not get the proper care in other facilities, as well as options for  the babies and children that they had. Also, to help those who wanted to have children and had issues preventing them from doing so. 

Instead of having several doctors who are not associated in the building and renting from some leaseholder, she owned the building, would work from the lab with a team she selected, to avoid the disrespect and distrust at her previous lab, and found specialists that she was interested in, bringing what she valued most to the place. 

Having other Black female doctors around was also quite refreshing, for all of them and she made sure to include an onsite daycare with personally vetted childcare providers. Because she knew that she wasn’t the only working mommy and that was important to her, as well. (This was a separate place from the pediatric playroom), because that was for the potentially sick kids. She even involved the doctors and scientists that she would have there in the development process, as a bit of an interview situation. (They didn’t work for her, but she wanted the vision to work for everyone, and to find people who were on the same accord).

They called it A New Page Childcare Center, and Charlotte had never been happier in her life, as far as her work life went, as she was after getting it off of the ground. She was saving lives again, but doing it with a collective of like-minded professionals who respected and liked each other and worked well together. She could be here until she was ready to retire! Finally! She had not only found her calling, but she was able to build up something to follow it through, and she was able to see her children more throughout all of it.

Plus, even when helping a client through a strenuous process of tests and seeking out solutions or researching new ideas in genetics, she controlled her schedule and therefore was able to do things at this point in her life with Jasper and the kids that she felt guilty about not being able to do before, like family vacations and events. Henry and Craig FINALLY tied the knot shortly after Hen turned 33, and it was her center that they came to when seeking out a surrogate. 

At the center, they were able to speak with a surrogacy agent, because by that time, the center had grown to include an agency for surrogacy and one for adoption. By finding all these childcare specialists and providers and making room for them in her property, it was easy for people to explore all of these options in one place, and there were frequently workshops on site available for training in doula and midwife work, becoming foster parents, and NUMEROUS paid internships in every single one of the areas in the place. 

Now, most of these ideas she came up with, in tandem with Jasper during pillow talk. She knew if he knew how to do one thing, it would be to tell her truthfully how to have a fulfilling workspace. She just had never thought that she would be able to put all of these professions and occupations in one space. Whenever he would say, “Why don’t you just find one and get them in your building?” she would immediately think, I can’t do that! But now, she wasn’t even sure WHY she ever thought that she couldn’t do it! 

She guessed it sounded like too much. She guessed that it would be too hard to maintain rules, regulations, etc… But, Jasper pointed out, “But, they don’t work for you. As long as they can pay you to be in that space, it's an advantage to you all to have sources nearby to suggest. If fertility isn’t working out, your fertility specialist can suggest going to, you know… the fourth floor for a surrogate or the fifth floor for the adoption agency, etc. That way, they don’t have to look around, which would be additional stress and sometimes, you may be able to have a representative from the office of their next step come to speak with them and build rapport in that moment where they’ve lost a little bit a hope, to meet and reassure them that the last step was only another stepping stone and assure them that they will give their all to this particular leg of the journey.” There was always a brilliant idea coming out of him! She loved that man so much, more and more all of the time. 

.

The various talks that had to be had with them were generally successful. Having two socially conscious parents, they were going to get lessons about everything whenever they either were about to go out into the world on their own (school and such) or for more heavy topics, whenever they seemed to want to know. Of course, first and foremost was the way that people outside might perceive and treat them.

Jazz looked almost just like Charlotte, but with a different curl pattern. Her hair mostly grew down, but it was poofy enough that it fluffed out at the sides. It gave her just enough “other” for people to ask her “Black, and what else?” but, if she had it up or something, nobody even bothered. 

Amber was the only one that was really “light skinned,” but she always got a little browner in the summer. Her hair was curly like Jasper’s when he was a kid and it didn’t grow down, but out, so she had a huge curly fro.

Jazz said that Ruby was her mini… like she wasn’t cut from the very same cloth as Charlotte. Ruby had hair like Charlotte’s and similar features. Slightly less brown, but definitely darker than Amber. She looked even more like Charlotte, because they had similar mannerisms and the same face and hair. 

Diamond was only a couple of shades darker than Amber, but she had more of Jasper’s features than the others, who were basically molds of Charlotte with the slight differences mentioned, and her eyes were light colored. Well, they were somewhere between a hazel and a chestnut. Jasper insisted that she had his mom’s eyes. Charlotte just denied it on principle. She lowkey did have Pansy’s eyes and was really the only one that could “pass for a Dunlop,” according to some of the comments Charlotte had overheard and seen on posts before Jasper blocked somebody. People sometimes joked with Jasper to ask him if he was sure those were all his kids, but they quickly retracted these jokes, whenever they noted his face or body language. When Jazz was little, he’d be more likely to kick someone’s ass over it. By the time Amber came, it was asked less, but when it was brought up, Jazz was singled out! She “didn’t look mixed enough” someone said, in that way that he could tell they felt like they were just being honest. She looked just like her mother, if she had wavy hair!! And… what did people think that he was going to presume that they were suggesting about his wife when they asked him shit like that or made a funny little comment.

His mother made that mistake years ago. “I just don’t see any part of you in that one,” she said, opting to try to pick up Amber as she nudged her forehead towards Jazz. Amber hid behind her older sister. Something about Pansy made her nervous. The woman sighed and tacked on, “I don’t think it would hurt to get them DNA tested, just in case…”

And he told her, “If you hadn’t given me life, I would sock you in the mouth for that.” (Jasper never made threats like that at her and she was shook). 

“I was kidding! She’s just way darker than I thought she should be,” she had said about Jazz (which was PRIOR to Jazz identifying as a girl and ALSO made him upset that she called them a she), but Pansy had come out of that. They kept some distance between themselves and her until she had to seek them out and agree to the proper language and appropriate treatment. Then, Jasper monitored every time she was around for a long time before her and Charlotte were comfortable enough (and the kids were comfortable enough) for her to be allowed to spend time with them by herself.

She was a much better grandmother than she had been a mom, and he came to realize that a lot of people were weird about the fact that 3 out of 4 of his biracial kids didn’t quote unquote “really look biracial,” so they wanted to tell the girls about it whenever it was time for Jazz to go to her private school. Jasper wanted them in public school. There was one not too far from the house and it was considered when he bought it. But, they compromised that the kids could go to a private head start, maybe public elementary, and then Charlotte insisted on the private school when they got into junior high. But, after head start, all of Jazz’s friends were going to private school and she wanted to go, as well. Jasper wondered if Charlotte knew this would happen when she made that deal with him. She simply smirked in response.

“What the fuck is biracial?” Jazz had asked whenever the race talk came up. Charlotte threw her head back and Jazz winced, “Sorry, Mom.” She honestly never let go of the word, since she was 2 years old. But, she also had just presumed that since half of her family was different shades of brown and the other half were lesser shades of brown that other people had families that were just all kinds of browns and lesser browns, even those lesser brown people she knew from pre-k. 

Realizing that Uncle Henry and Uncle Craig were not going to be able to come together and simply make brown cousins or lesser brown cousins was like a shock to her system. They had to grow a baby somewhere else and try to pick somebody that would have some similar traits. Then, learning that people might be meaner to her because she was a darker brown than Daddy was alarming, to say the least, and that even more people might treat her differently because of her private areas that they couldn’t even see? She was scandalized and horrified. But… she said that sounded like it meant that girls were tougher than boys and she was “tough enough to be a girl.”

“It’s not really a matter of toughness. It’s more like what you feel like you are, inside. And it doesn’t have to be a girl, or even a boy. You might feel like something else that you don’t quite have the words for, and we’ll help you find the right words, if that’s the case or maybe even you’ll have new words for us that are more catered to who you feel like you are inside.” Charlotte said.

“Well, I don’t not feel like a girl. I feel like a girl who is strong and brave. Whatever that is is my gender. I don’t care. It’s never mattered before. I just am scared of the people out there that might try to treat me like I’m a Black girl. (I am, but… that’s scary stuff, Mom.”

“We’ll protect you as much as we can,” Jasper said.

“I have literally seen your father punch more than a few people for treating mommy some kind of way,” Charlotte admitted. Jasper’s face showed he had zero regrets about those choices.

“Don’t worry Dad. I have a mean right hook,” Jazz said. 

“Damn right you do. That’s that Dunlop Dumb Drop!” And with just that, the kid gestured for a double high five and they growled in each others faces and started barking. 

Charlotte, feeling left out said, “I have some drops too.”

Both of them looked at her and burst into crying laughter. “Mom, please, do not do this to me!” Jazz said as Jasper wiped his eyes from actually crying laughing about it. “Oh, you oughtta end all these talks like that. Who can feel worried when you’ve got this shining sense of humor.” 

Charlotte folded her arms, but couldn’t help but to laugh, in spite of herself of the fact that her young child thought it hilarious that she could drop somebody. “I never said with my fists, Kid. I’m a scientist and a doctor. I know at least one hundred ways to drop somebody without ever touching them. A lot of them, untraceable.” She threw a look at Jasper, who immediately stopped laughing. 

“Well, that’s just terrifying,” Jazz admitted. 

Charlotte winked, “Only for my enemies.” 

Now, Jazz offered her double high fives and said, “Friends for life!” 

Amber was concerned about things, but mostly about partnership. Why, at her age? They didn’t know, but they just answered her questions when they arose. “So. IF I AM a girl, feel like a girl, like things that the world says is for girls, but I also LIKE girls. Like, REALLY like girls, like - like them, you understand… can I still be a girl?”

“If you think you are, yes.”

“But, the world says that girls like boys, right? I hate boys. They’re smelly and unkind. They never like to wear pretty dresses that would be gorgeous on them. They hit you and say it’s because they like you, so if you want to hit them back, you don’t want to, because you don’t want them to think you like them, a stupid boy!”

Jasper balled his fists, “Who the hell hit you?” 

“Daddy, don’t get mad. Since hitting means boys like you, I didn’t hit him back, so he wouldn’t think I like him. Instead, I put mud in his sandwich when everybody was at recess.” She smiled proudly.

“Well, I’m glad that you got him back. But, next time, just hit him. Nobody gets to put their hands on you and if they really liked you, they wouldn’t. Also, who was it?”

“Are you gonna go punch the kid, Jasper?” Charlotte asked.

“I MIGHT!”

Charlotte changed the subject. “Not all boys are like that, but if you just don’t like boys, that’s still fine. You can like whoever you like.”

“I like girls.”

“Cool. Uncle Henry is a boy who likes a boy, Uncle Craig. And Uncle Jake and Uncle Ray…”

She looked frustrated, “Do only boys get to like boys in the world?” They’d already warned her that people are mean to girls, was not being able to like like other girls part of that meanness?

“No! Everybody gets to like whoever they like and sometimes the world is mean about it, but sometimes the world is nice.”

“The world better be nice to me, because there’s plenty of dirt out there for me to put on their sandwiches.”

Jasper whispered, “She’s terrifying, like you.”

“If by that you mean that she’s brilliant, thank you,” Charlotte whispered back and kissed him briefly.

“Hi. Could you not? I don’t really want to have to see boys and girls kiss in my own home,” Amber said, inciting cackles from both of them.

Ruby didn’t care either way. Whenever they told her all these things, they said they didn’t have questions, were undecided on if they knew what their gender was and didn’t care about racist people because, “I have a big, strong dad, a mom that can kill people quietly, an older sister who fights people and one that pees in people’s colas. I think that I’m well protected.”

Jasper and Charlotte were nodding, presuming that they probably had talked to their sisters about this before, but both stopped at “pees in people’s colas” and said, “Wait, what?” Ruby tilted their head, acting like they had no idea what they were asking about.

“I have nothing further,” Ruby said. They kept the “their/them” pronouns throughout life. It just seemed like a lot to them, to sit there and think and decide who they felt like when their upbringing didn’t place any value on gender roles. But, they were also fine with whatever pronouns someone else used for them. It didn’t really matter. 

Henry retired from hero life at 50. 

The Dunlop kids and the Hart kids got together to plan a Semi-Centennial celebration for their parents, instead of calling in a joint birthday celebration. A lot of things were happening within a few years’ time. Jasper and Charlotte being married for 25 years, Jazz becoming a professional athlete, Amber getting engaged to her college sweetheart, Ruby graduating from high school at the top of their class, JUST like their mom and going into an entire new wave of technology that fascinated Charlotte, and Diamond going into high school, and the fact that Uncle Henry was getting ready to “settle peacefully from everything else” and focus on H<3art Eyes until his official retirement… so retiring from Captain Danger so that he could have at least some good years in the wedding shop with his kids and husband, just living his life. 

His Dad and Ray had bought a boat a while back, which they mostly lived on, did some traveling in and also continued to enjoy perks such as the old Man Copter, which Ray basically just redecorated and put a cheesy postcard like caricature of the two of them on the side of it. The same for the RV that Jake brought, for whenever they wanted to travel on land. They were both retired and had no small kids. Ray never told Jake about Captain Man. The Hart kids agreed that he just COULDN'T have that information. It didn’t matter, anyway. They had been working well for about 20 years at that point. Neither chose to get married, but what they had was pretty undeniable. 

The child advocate in Charlotte Ambrosia Dunlop got with Schwoz years prior to come up with a way to keep Swellview safe from the villain threats without training children to work as heroes until they couldn’t. It was a solution that they sort of came to simultaneously, and Schwoz was very upset that he hadn’t really considered it before… Clone generation. Recreating a Captain Man and Captain Danger clone and having the Man Cave computer know just how and when they would need to be replenished! Charlotte didn’t want Schwoz to have to stay there, being the brain behind the thing, so she convinced him to make a Safe Halley, to control it all and to simply keep access to it, if something went wrong, one of them could go sort it out if they had to. But, they didn’t. They never had to again, and Swellview was still quite safe.

.

Charlotte, Jasper, Henry, Piper, Ray, and Schwoz sit on the patio, looking at the view of the sunsetting on the mountains during their annual Man Fam Getaway… “Our life was stupid crazy. I wouldn’t change a thing,” Charlotte said and everybody heard her and they all agreed.

*** The End***

[luvknow]

roommates au | the best friend, kim woojin

genre: kim woojin x reader | college au ; friends-to-lovers au summary: woojin has been your best friend since high school. now he was your roommate, and living together took your friendship to a whole other level. wc: 2.5k

if woojin was going to be living with a roommate, it had to be with someone he already knew and trusted.

he wasn’t about that whole “let’s meet on craigslist” deal after he was randomly paired with someone for his first year living at the student dorms.

the day they met was when he decided he would never do anything like that ever again.

his roommate was absolutely terrible!

not only were they messy, they also played their music loud, got crumbs on his bunk, had people over, and worst of all...

he was sexiled five too many times to count in one month.

all five of those times he found himself crawling to your dorm just down the hall.

you and woojin have known each other all throughout your high school years and when you both found out you got accepted to the same dream school, you figured this was some sort of stroke of luck and applied to be in the same dorms, too.

luck was on your side, because you both ended up on the same floor and in the same hall!

so whenever woojin needed help with his homework, wanted to grab a bite to eat, or was exiled from his room due to a sock on the door knob, he was at your door in a heartbeat.

on the other hand, your roommate was perfect, due to the fact that they were almost never there because they were always at their significant other’s place, so you and woojin often had your dorm to yourselves.

a lot of long nights, long talks, and long study sessions happened in your dorm.

one night, while silently studying, you came up with a brilliant idea.

“hey.”

“hm?” he hummed, not looking up from his textbook.

“let’s get an apartment together next year.”

“ok.”

“wha - really!? just like that?”

“honestly, i was going to ask you eventually. you just beat me to it.”

“ok, this is a real verbal agreement, right? no take-backs?”

“if i have to live in the dorms another year, i will drop out, so i am one hundred percent serious.”

“yay!” you grinned. “we’re gonna be roommates ~! let’s shop at ikea!”

“we can only afford ikea, anyways...”

after spending the entire summer together buying furniture, decorations, and basic essentials, you were all ready to move in before the new school year.

your bedrooms were on opposite sides of the apartment, allowing you to have your privacy if you wanted it.

but most of the time, when both of you were home, you spent that time together in the living room and only went to your rooms to sleep.

you guys studied together, ate together, watched your favorite shows together - as roommates, you guys were inseparable.

sometimes while watching a movie, you wouldn’t even make it to your bed and fell asleep on the couch with your head on woojin’s shoulder.

that was the weird thing about being roommates.

you guys got pretty... intimate while sharing the same space.

mornings often went like this:

“woojin, can you move i’m trying to brush my teeth,” you mumbled at 8am while trying to fight woojin in a tshirt and boxers for sink space.

“my skincare is more important than your dental hygiene,” he scolded back.

“god, why are you so big it’s like i’m pushing a wall!”

“don’t be so mean - i’m thick, not big.”

in the kitchen it was more like this:

“wooojiiinnn ~” you whined cutely from the kitchen table. “i’m hungryyyy ~”

“go make something then.”

“but you’re so much better at making things...!”

“are you serious right now, i made dinner yesterday!”

"and it was amazing ~”

“ugh, you’re so lazy.................................................. what do you want?”

and the living room went like this:

“yoink,” woojin said as he snatched the remote up from your hands.

“don’t you change the channel or i will eat all of your snacks.”

“... you won’t...”

“bet.”

woojin squinted his eyes and dared to change the channel from your drama that was in the midst of a scene that could have led up to a kiss to his stupid weeb programs.

in a fury, you leaped up from the couch and sprinted straight woojin’s stash of snacks in his bedroom.

“hey, get out of my room!” he yelled, chasing after you.

“i said bet, so i’m gonna fulfill it!! that’s what you get!”

“don’t be a dick!”

“don’t change my channel!!”

in the end, both of you missed your shows and ended up sharing the snacks while watching some terrible movie.

living with your best friend had it’s difficult times, but you would never trade your roommate for anyone else.

if you thought you were best friends before, well you sure as hell are now, ten fold.

it took your relationship to a whole other level, and you weren’t sure whether that was a good or bad thing.

take, for example, when you were patiently waiting to use the bathroom when woojin was busy showering.

annoyed and already late for the day, you would continuously knock on the door knowing he was just taking his sweet ass time doing his skin care routine.

“i swear to god, if i miss one more clicker question -”

and then as if he was waiting for you to be at a certain level of annoyance, he’d open the bathroom door, letting all the steam out and revealing him in nothing but a towel around his waist.

he never failed to make you stop mid-sentence to gawk at his nearly-naked body that where his lower half was only covered with a towel.

you thought you knew everything about woojin up to this point in your friendship, but you never thought about how much he worked out and developed a six pack.

“staring is rude, _____,” woojin teased as he walked passed your stunned form.

it was hard to look him in the eye after that.

on woojin’s side of the matter, who also wasn’t sure whether living together and taking your relationship to a new level was good, had a weakness about you of his own.

on nights when it was warmer and you were dressing more comfortably around the apartment in your pajamas, instead of pajama pants, you opted for shorts that revealed a lot of leg.

just like how you didn’t realize woojin’s six pack, woojin never noticed how long your legs were.

your skin looked so smooth and soft, too -

“staring is rude, woojin,” you mocked, kicking him lightly as you passed him.

after that, whenever you wore anything tight that shaped your legs, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, and luckily he was sneaky enough that you never noticed.

sundays were one of your favorite days to spend with woojin because it was a day to relax and go grocery shopping.

it took forever to finish shopping though because you two would argue about which foods were necessary.

“hot cheetos are so bad for you!” woojin scolded while putting the bag back on the shelf.

“if i wanna melt my insides with spicy cheesy goodness, then let me!” you whined.

“no, it’s gross, and you should be eating healthier! we’re not in high school anymore.”

“ugh, you never let me get what i want.”

he pinched a huge chunk of your cheek playfully. “you’re such a baby.”

“if i can’t eat my chips, you need to stop eating fried chicken so much.”

“those are not on the same level of unhealthiness ok, i eat white meat.”

“it’s still not good for you. you should eat like, baked or grilled chicken.”

“i would rather die.”

in the midst of your argument, while woojin was inspecting the nutrition facts of some cereal, you saw a shy but clearly interested passer by who eyed your roommate.

you nudged woojin harshly.

“ow, what was that for!?”

“i think someone’s checking you out. look in the next aisle.”

so obviously and not discreetly at all, like an idiot, woojin swung his head to face them and almost immediately, they tried to hide their blushing face behind a box of pasta.

“what are you waiting for, go talk to them!” you whispered.

woojin shook his head and went back to the cereal box. “nah, i’m ok.”

“are you out of your mind, they’re clearly interested in you, for whatever reason! and they’re not bad looking, either! this is so rare for you!”

“you’re such a dick.”

that’s how it always went whenever you two were out.

whether it was groceries, or getting coffee, or grabbing a bite to eat, or even studying in the library, there was always someone who was checking woojin out and every time you told him about it he would shut you down and not talk about it for the rest of the night.

which was crazy, wasn’t it!? like, who wouldn’t want to take all of these opportunities!?

you wished you had even one interested person look at you the way these people looked at woojin.

“why are you so lame?” you teased him while eating lunch one day.

“what do you mean?”

“like why don’t you ever go for it? you know, shoot your shot? you’ve had so many missed opportunities.”

“i’m just not interested in them, that’s all,” he shrugged.

“god, it’s like high school all over again. you had so many people lined up hoping you’d ask them on a date or to prom and you never did! you asked me to go with you instead, for whatever reason.”

“you said you were worried no one would ask you.”

“i mean yeah, but you didn’t have to ask me out of pity.”

“you know i’d never do that. we had so much fun that night, remember?”

“maybe you did, not so much me - i spent a good chunk of the night throwing up at the after party. you didn’t have to stay with me the whole night, you know. i felt so bad, like i took that night away from you.”

he shook his head. “it was so funny seeing you like that. besides, i didn’t want to leave you alone. i learned a lot about you that night, like how fireball doesn’t agree with your body and you have lacy red underwear.”

“oh my god, you saw that!?”

“yeah, and you’re lucky i made sure i was the only one.”

“d’aw woojin, you like me ~!” you teased. “see, you’d make such a good boyfriend for someone."

“maybe some other time.”

“well, i hope you do soon. i wish i had half the people interested in me like that.”

woojin stayed silent and clenched his jaw.

of course you had people interested in you.

whenever you were out, woojin always saw someone eyeing you in not-so innocent ways.

that’s when he would stand a little closer to you or block their view from you.

you never knew about them because unlike you, who told woojin nearly every time you saw someone interested in him, he never told you.

none of them were ever worth your time.

until he finds someone worthwhile for you, he’ll let you know about them. but for now, he’d stay silent.

which sounded selfish, but he was just protecting you, right?

“no dude, that’s totally selfish,” chan said while they hung out at his place. “why won’t you play wingman? they do that for you all the time!”

“all the guys are douche bags who probably put their soundcloud link on their social media bio.”

“hey, i do that.”

“yeah, and how many times have you asked me to set you up with them?”

“ok, i would stop asking if you’d just admit that you liked them since high school.”

“... not since high school...”

“so you do like them, right?” chan teased, nudging woojin playfully causing him to drop the gaming control.

“ah hey, i just died!”

“don’t change the subject!”

“i’m going home.”

“tell _____ to call me sometime ~”

“shut up.”

the walk home was long and frustrating.

maybe chan was talking some sense for once - was he really being selfish with you?

all your comments about wishing you went on dates or all the nights you spent staying up watching romantic dramas - you’ve been like this ever since he met you.

but you and woojin pretty much did the same things!

always going out to eat, making each other laugh, you even live together, for god’s sake.

the only thing that was missing was, well... the whole kissing part.

you were just chilling on the couch watching tv when woojin came home from hanging out with the guys.

“hey,” you greeted.

when you didn’t hear a response, you looked over to the door and saw woojin looking upset with his brows furrowed and jaw clenched.

“you ok?”

woojin softened his expression, unaware of how tense he was being. “yeah, sorry. i just lost to chan a bunch of times.”

“aw, poor you. wanna pick what we watch tonight?”

“you know me so well.”

he gladly joined you on the couch put on something you both would enjoy - trashy reality television.

tonight was one of those nights where both of you were too tired to talk or make conversation, so you’d stay up for hours watching whatever was on.

you were the first to fall asleep. woojin was so used to the weight of your head on his shoulder that he barely noticed it by the time he fell asleep.

the both of you must have been exhausted that night because neither of you woke up until the following morning.

you were the first to wake up, positioned perfectly under woojin’s arm and your head on his chest with your arms wrapped around him like he was your body pillow.

never had you guys fallen asleep in this position before, but for some reason, it didn’t feel weird.

it felt so right.

it was something you could only dream about.

until he woke up, you’d just pretend to sleep and lay there just a little while longer.

but he thought the same thing - he didn’t want to leave the couch at all, even if it was a bit cramped.

holding you was just too good to be true.

then it was almost noon, and both of you figured it was time to get up.

“hey,” woojin whispered, playing with your hair. “are you awake?”

“no ~” you replied, snuggling closer.

“c’mon, we gotta get up and be adults, or something.”

“but it’s sunday ~”

“why, do you like it when i hold you like this?” he teased, tightening his grip around you.

“mhm.”

“i like it, too. but guess what? sunday means we have to go grocery shopping today.”

“oh yeah, i totally forgot!”

“maybe... i could cook you something tonight.”

“wow, and i didn’t even have to ask?”

“i guess i really like you.”

“then i’ll take you up on that offer. in exchange, i’ll bake some cookies.”

“i like the sound of that. it’s a date...?”

you lifted your head up gave a blushing woojin a kiss on the cheek.

“i’d love to go on a date with my best friend.”

[thesinglesjukebox]

LANA DEL REY - THE GREATEST

[7.71]

The discourse is lit...

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Lana Del Rey's embrace of decades-old American culture has always been a window into the present, so it's no surprise that her invocations of rock music and Dennis Wilson's deaths on "The Greatest" are signposts for our own inevitable demise. But even before she concludes the song with ruminations on California wildfires, Hawaii's false missile alert, and the possible necessity of colonizing Mars, you can sense the knowing dread in the midsong guitar solo and her affected vocalizing. She declares that she's "wasted" with poise and romantic longing, stretching the word out into a rallying cry; she intimates that debauchery is not just an expected response to contemporary anxieties, but an empowering action in times of seeming powerlessness. She channels that same depressing spirit in her semi-ironic delivery of the song's most memorable couplet -- "The culture is lit and I had a ball/I guess that I'm burned out after all" -- toying with its dual meaning to succinctly portray how escapism in end times isn't indecent behavior, but a necessary means toward survival and acceptance of one's fate. The sparse guitar strums and piano melodies that close out the song anticipate the somber eventuality that awaits us, but can that be much worse than right now? Worse than a time when "dancing with you" and "doing nothing" can be nostalgic pastimes due to never ending stress? Whatever the case, we'll collectively watch as it happens; it's the "live stream" that Lana hints at in the final line, and it'll be of cinematic proportions: "the greatest loss of them all." [9]

Joshua Copperman: "The culture is lit, and if this is it‚ I had a ball." This line is everything I hate about the aesthetics of this decade, but it IS the aesthetic of this decade, at least the latter half. Apart from rare, usually unintentional exceptions, something about 2010s voice-of-a-generation songs always felt pat, apparently because they had hope. We need songs for an age when everything is so overwhelming and impossible that there's nothing left to do but give up, give in, and bide your time until the flames -- the literal ones or the David Foster Wallace ones -- consume you too. (Who by fire, who by water vapor.) The cool, detached gloominess of "The Greatest" sends the opposite message to the one producer Jack Antonoff sent years ago; I don't want to get better, because there's no time left and no point. Lana was "doing nothing most of all," and that's why she's become the figurehead for this decade's music. Not Gaga. Not Beyonce. Not Lorde. Lana. Lana won the race to the bottom because she was there first; maybe a writer once took her sadness out of context, yet if someone said "I wish I was dead already" today, the response would not rise beyond a shrug of 'mood.' I don't even like this song that much as a song. It's slow and dreary, and that "culture is lit" line sounds hackneyed and pandering in its own way. But it's because of that artificiality that the line feels authentic, which was Lana's whole thing in the first place. Maybe I'm just bitter that she became so important when I wasn't looking. To paraphrase another, equally 2019 line, I hate to see it. Especially when I was so blind the whole time. [7]

Josh Buck: "I miss New York, and I Miss you. Me and my friends, we miss rock and roll." As Lana del Rey laments her Big Apple days, it feels like a lifetime since she was a Brooklyn Baby, singing Lou Reed with her boyfriend's band. She ventured out west to create an entire California fantasia and over a handful of albums, she built a cinematic version of the Golden State that was vibrant and full of endless sun and limitless romantic possibilities; even if it was all tinged with just a dab of noir-ish danger. It was a world as fully realized and teeming with mythology as a great novel. And "The Greatest" is where she watches it all burn down. "I'm facing the greatest loss of them all." California dreams are beautiful, until you have to wake up, so she sparks a cigarette and raises a glass to the ride. But if "The Greatest" is a moment of personal reflection, it's also a celebration. It's a toast to a new Greatest Generation. A generation that created and protested, that fucked and traveled and loved in spite of a planet threatening to burn them alive, and world leaders determined to end things even quicker. It's an anthem for thriving in the face of the apocalypse. It's my favorite single of 2019, and just thinking about it triggers a million competing emotions. If all somehow make it through this moment, we'll have one hell of a story, and a hell of a song to go with it. The culture is lit, but we had a ball. [10]

Michael Hong: A couple of cycles ago, that line probably would have drawn mass scorn from critics, but for now, it may very well be the lyric of the year. Part of that may be attributed to the way the culture has shifted their view on Lana Del Rey, but another part of it is that Lana sounds the most honest she's ever sounded. "The Greatest" is an ominous but sincere reflection of the current state of the world, and Lana no longer seems content with empty depictions of American touchstones. Lines like "I miss New York and I miss the music" still rely on those same symbols, but they now feel like lived experiences rather than empty nostalgic musings. Hell, Lana Del Rey even manages not only to make "me and my friends, we miss rock 'n' roll" work but sound like one of the most profound statements you've ever heard. Lana Del Rey's hushed vocals paired with the gauzy instrumental are quietly disarming, playing out like the cinematic zoom-out at the edge of the apocalypse. And if this is it, those final laments on the outro might be the greatest way to go out. [9]

Alfred Soto: She's not the greatest, nor does she think she's the greatest, so long as she thinks the "culture is lit" and she's "having a ball," whatever that means, but I suspect it means more than the guitar solo. Narcissism as plaint. [7]

Katherine St Asaph: The core Lana Del Rey problem is that she confuses narcotic with dramatic and droning with sweeping. "The Greatest" mitigates those faults a little, but only a little, and only by borrowing some faults from classic rock. The track also smothers what could have been a fine torch song in overproduction -- the culture can't be lit if you snuff it out with a million moles of echo. It shouldn't happen that I felt more genuine things about ghosts and missing things from a perfume newsletter than this. [4]

Ian Mathers: So here's the thing; I originally wrote about and scored this song before the more exhausting parts of the whole Lana Del Rey Conversation that engulfed Music Twitter last week had happened, and I was basically saying, yeah, the conversation is interesting and has some good points but I mostly receive the song outside of it and I just like that song (and generally do, with her singles). But then... it got worse. And between the artist herself showing her ass and all of the assorted takes, the thought of listening to any of LDR's music just got more and more enervating. Some would say it's unfair or incorrect to adjust my opinion of this song, or at least to admit that those events have, in fact, adjusted my opinion of the song. But I'm a guy who wrote a Master's thesis at least partly on the idea that the context around a work of art justifiably changes not only our aesthetic relationship to it but the ontological status of the work of art itself (which is not a physical thing, not even as data). The classical example is finding out, say, a painting is a forgery, but honestly this whole thing is a great example too. Doesn't make me outright dislike "The Greatest", but does legitimately move it from being a real bright spot to a song I enjoy that I need a bit of a break from. [7]

Stephen Eisermann: Hats off to Lana and Jack for really creating an atmosphere of nostalgia that you fall into the second you hit play. Lana's vocal is tender and understated, further reinforcing the sense of longing the track aims to create; but, hearing her sing the word "lit" and the Kanye West reference stand in stark contrast to that moody guitar lick and I... I just can't reconcile the two. [4]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Lana Del Rey is deeply aware of the fickleness of the music industry. On Born to Die, that manifested in her almost-trolling approach -- aggravating, almost-rap cadences, weird production choices, even weirder lyrical ones -- that wormed its way into the pop consciousness. For her middle three albums, she refashioned herself as a thinking person's pop star, working with more respectable (and more male) figures like Dan Aurebach and A$AP Rocky as a way of positioning herself as adjacent to prestige. The music was better but also more boring. Now, with Norman Fucking Rockwell!, she has cashed all the checks that a decade of practice and following the rules of pop earn you. "The Greatest" is a thesis statement for the album's ambition. It's not just the title -- although that is a helpful indicator. It's everything: the classic rock guitars and big drum fills, the nostalgia for doing nothing of the lyrics, the way she sings them. On "The Greatest," Lana sounds done. Not exhausted, but complete, as if she could walk away from this all and not miss a second's worth of sleep. It's a big damn classic rock song that's aware of how bombastic it sounds, and yet its self-awareness does not undercut its narrative and sonic heft. It's the kind of song you can't make without making a lot of worse songs that dance around the same topics. But here, where it really counts? Lana nails it. It's a buzzer-beater of a song, rattling around the rim four times before falling in -- all the sweeter in glory for the bumps on the road before it. It's likely not the last Lana Del Rey single we'll review, but if it is, it's a fitting send-off: in response to all the fickleness of the industry, Lana rewrites her story on her own terms, and makes it sing. [9]

Jackie Powell: Norman Fucking Rockwell started as such a fascinating paradox, but didn't really continue building and evolving on what made its first third so successful. "The Greatest" is lyrically relatable and sonically beautiful. Jack Antonoff, being the wizard that he is, finds a way to wean Lana Del Rey of her noir and whining tendencies. He overdubs her potential for a beautiful vocal pairing it with brighter arrangements. It's pellucid and mellow but not a snoozefest. But its placement on this album really sold the track short. NFR loaded its most compelling tracks at the top of the project. Del Rey placed "The Greatest" after "Fuck it I love you" in a double feature of a music video, which where it should have been placed on the album. In the visual, Del Rey floats around and almost above her surroundings contemplating what's next. The haunting but gorgeously comforting guitar solo brings the listener along with Lana herself back down to earth. Lyrically and through its soft piano, the outro is what gives this song its weight and a sense of profundity. Her cultural references which include Kanye West's physical and emotional transformation and David Bowie's "Life on Mars" allow us to reflect on what we've become. Lana Del Rey does that here and on almost every record. I just wish "The Greatest" was given the proper stage to achieve the status of its moniker. [6]

Joshua Lu: The majority of "The Greatest" feels unbound by time, as Lana Del Rey reuses Extremely American words that apply to the '80s as much as today: Long Beach, New York, the Beach Boys, rock 'n' roll. Only the outro plants the song firmly in the current year -- with mentions of Mars, Kanye, global warming, and that time Hawaii thought it was about to get bombed -- and with this passage of time, these signifiers bring no joy to Lana anymore. Her sprawling sense of nihilism seeps through in her languid voice and the turgid, psychedelic guitar as she laments how her generation's time is ticking away. Tempting as it is, I'm wary to read into this song as some kind of political statement, in part because the epochs that Lana fetishizes were also rather shitty, and also because I think Lana herself wouldn't prefer this reading, as it would play into that "p" word she, erm, has expressed adversity to. Maybe that's the song's trap, that despite how alluring it is to try to ascribe some deeper meaning, it's better to just do what the song does: sit back, observe, and mourn. [8]

Alex Clifton: Lana Del Rey has a beautiful and occasionally overwhelming voice. It's haunting but for me it can be like ingesting too much cake in one sitting -- extremely rich to the point where it feels exhausting to listen to more than one song at a time. Having said that, "The Greatest" is a song that works well with Del Rey's vocals. When the first pre-chorus hits -- "those nights were on fire, we couldn't get higher" -- her breathiness feels less like an affect but sadder and more wistful, the awareness that she'll never be able to get that life back again. It's a grandiose song, strings and languid piano and a chorus of a dozen Lanas sighing "if this is it, I'm signing off," but for once the grandiosity of the production fits the message. My issue with Del Rey's persona back in the Born to Die days was that I couldn't quite make out who she was under all the artifice, flower crowns and American flags. I know that's the appeal of artists like Del Rey, whose entire careers are built off of specific personas (despite what they claim to the contrary), but I don't deal well with facades that are built that tall. Arguments about personas and performativity in music can quickly dissolve into arguments about authenticity and how much that matters to the music, and I want to stress that I don't care about authenticity in the slightest -- I just like the moments where artists aren't invincible but human. In "The Greatest" those walls crumble down and Del Rey revels in her sadness in a way that hits close to the heart. She's vulnerable and mourning over a real love rather than a fantasy, and for once I feel like persona or no, I understand the appeal of Lana Del Rey. [8]

Vikram Joseph: At 2am this morning I found myself in the smoky bedroom of a guy I hadn't met until two hours earlier, half a bottle of red wine deep and still high off the fumes of the MUNA show I'd just been to, discussing the aesthetics of Lana Del Rey's music videos (as a kind of emotional foreplay, I guess?). It struck me that this, right there, was actually a pretty good representation of Lana's aesthetic -- unlikely moments that shimmer at the fringes of reality, a doomed romanticism that bleeds into a laconic, blissful sort of nihilism. There's so much heightened emotion (close to melodrama) in her music, and yet there's a simplicity too in what she craves -- men, bars, California, sun -- that Vice described as a "revolutionary pleasure." It feels like an extremely LDR move to draw a direct parallel between lost love and the end of the actual fucking world, but it's testament to her songwriting, those aesthetics that she's worked so hard on, and the spellbinding, crystalline production on "The Greatest" that she pulls it off so completely. From the opening bars -- dignified piano chords, soft-focus acoustic guitars and cinematic strings -- it feels like an elegy; I can't help but see the crumbling, sunlit edifice of a gorgeous building when I hear this song, especially during that billowing, washed-out guitar solo, or the slow nuclear decay of the outro. "The Greatest" feels like a culmination, and a kind of closure. It's a veteran of an iconic club scene reading the memoirs of her golden years out loud, or the last time two people who once loved each other ever speak, or a beach scene at the end of civilisation. Sonically and aesthetically, it sounds cast adrift in time, and that's why it's so effective. It's the end of the world as we know it -- I don't think Lana feels fine, exactly, but maybe there's a certain comfort in finally knowing for sure that it was all for nothing. [10]

Will Adams: Lana Del Rey made a career writing elegies to American culture, which is what makes "The Greatest" as moving as it is heartbreaking. The patriotism of "American" has turned bitter. The sprawling luxury of "Shades of Cool" has fizzled. The worries expressed in "Coachella -- Woodstock In My Mind" have been realized in twisted, terrifying ways. So it makes sense that, after a few minutes of misty-eyed farewells presented with a smile ("I had a ball"), it all collapses to rubble. The gleaming classic rock evaporates into three descending chords. This, it turns out, is the greatest loss of all. Not rock 'n' roll, not a past lover, not Long Beach, not Kanye West, but everything. In that final minute, the song sinks to the ocean floor, the flaming city fading from view, the monuments and culture blurring into nothing. Del Rey is gone, too, as there's nothing left to say. There is nothing except the brutal end. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[wonderlustlucas]

eggs - lee taeyong

⇢ prompt Breakfast does not go to the stomach, it goes to the heart. ⇢ pairing taeyong x female reader ⇢ word count 3.1k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings none unless fluff gives u whiplash :D ⇢ summary “Taeyong fluff. basically like they aren’t a couple yet but they know they both like each other so they’re all cutesy and shit :) plot doesn’t really matter tbh as long as it’s some cute ass fluff”—request ⇢ a/n take this fluffy shit and shove it up ur ass for optimum benefit

“Noona, will you please make us breakfast?” You are one hundred percent going to kill him.

“Ten, call me that again and the only thing I will cook is your arms and legs. I just bought cereal and milk, so leave me alone,” you groan like a branch under the weight of snow, rolling away from the brightness of the sun filtering through the window and swinging a leg out from beneath the covers to dangle off the bed. “No, you finished the cereal Thursday and never told me to pick up more, plus there’s no milk left,” Ten retorts, voice muffled behind the white door and at the sound of his—your—friends laughing, you feel like screaming. “Then go out and buy some more!”

“___, there’s like fifty eggs in the fridge, plus it’s past twelve and loverboy is starving, don’t you want to cook for T—“

“Okay, shut up!” You shout, accepting defeat rather than embarrassment and whipping the blankets away with an annoyed sigh. Picking a crumpled tee shirt from the floor, you pull it over your head with a certain irritation and make way for the door, swinging it open and glaring coldly at the grinning boy despite the heat growing on your cheeks like sunburn. “I hope you rot in Hell,” you hiss, jabbing a finger into his chest and stomping past him.

In a weak attempt to move past your guests as quietly as possible, you direct your attention to the floor and scurry through the living room quiet as a mouse, embarrassingly aware of loverboy’s—as Ten called him—presence. “Morning, ___.”

Caught. “Good morning,” you sigh, finally averting your gaze to look at the trio and offering a feeble wave. Maybe if you just pretend that he isn’t here, you can survive the day. However, as soon as your eyes land on Lee Taeyong and all his glory, hot rosiness is already burning its way up your neck quicker than before and settling on the apples of your cheeks. Curse you, you want to say, mouth sour and stare fixated on the brunette for a heartbeat too long until he smiles and you embarrassingly hurry on to the kitchen.

If it’s not for the incessant growling of your stomach, you truly contemplate opening the refrigerator door just to slam it back on your head; however, even though you would never admit it, cooking breakfast for Taeyong remains to be your first and foremost priority on this lovely afternoon. And so, no matter how much you don’t want to, you smack a cast-iron pan loudly on the stove and twist on the gas, pausing to count with your fingers how many eggs you’ll need before eventually just grabbing the whole carton.

You see, developing a crush on one of Ten’s friends was never part of the plan. To be entirely honest, you had laid in bed the night Ten first moved in, tucked delightfully in your duvets wondering how in the name of God you were going to survive just a week without falling for him. However, as time went on, Ten’s fiery attitude and the fact that it seemed as if his friend Johnny was the one who in fact moved in based on the amount of time he spent in your shared apartment made it quite painless to get over the brief obsession in your newest flatmate.

And while Ten does have a mentality spicier than sriracha, you could not find it in yourself to complain when he brought not one but three friends over two months into moving in. By that time, you were fairly close to Johnny, considering he was knocking on the door almost every day (at this point, you had already settled on the idea that the two were one hundred and fifty percent dating, although you would never ask), but had zero ideas that Ten even had other friends, let alone met them.

And to be quite frank, you did not expect another two attractive men to enter your life. Jung Jaehyun, quite possibly the most angelic human you have ever met and Lee Taeyong, the greatest threat to your existence.

Perhaps you would not have fallen so quickly if it was not for the fact Ten was adamant on having the three over every fucking day. The first time you met was a terrifying case of embarrassment; you had been sleeping in when you woke to quite possibly the loudest noise to ever enter your eardrums. And so, with speed faster than light, you fled from bed with nothing but measly undergarments to see what sort of Satanic ritual Ten was pulling, only to find two strangers grimacing at an enormous box now flat on the floor.

It was painfully awkward, from the moment they noticed your ghastly presence in the doorway, to the realization they just dropped the new television Ten just bought, and finally to the fact you were practically naked in front of them. Without even a glance to their faces and with a noise akin to a frightened mouse caught in a trap you spun back behind the door, slammed it closed, and dove back into bed, shivering under the covers and planning your plan of survival that included never leaving the one hundred and twenty-seven square feet of your bedroom.

However, five hours later your stomach had a mind of its own.

6:07 PM - To Ten: i will literally do absolutely anything u want ever in ur life if u bring me cereal

6:07 PM - From Ten: No shot

6:07 PM - To Ten: oh my god ten please

6:08 PM - From Ten: I think my friends need an apology for seeing ur titties this morning🤧

6:08 PM - To Ten: please dont do this to me im so hungry i will literally do anything

6:08 PM - From Ten: Bj?

6:08 PM - To Ten: yes an infinite everyday

6:08 PM - From Ten: hmmmm

6:09 PM - From Ten: nah

6:09 PM - From Ten: come get food urself

With an infuriated, muffled scream into the downy pillow, you hurl your phone to the mattress before leaning up and mentally preparing yourself for the onslaught of teasing from your sinister flatmate. Sighing obnoxiously as you exit your bedroom for the first time in almost twenty-four hours, absolutely nothing in the entire fucking universe could have prepared you enough for the unquestionably perfectly crafted specimen of Lee Taeyong.

Upon first glance, you barely noticed his figure hidden in the corner of the room, simply a monochrome silhouette concealed in the darkness. It was not until the hues flashing from the television lit up the dark space with brightly colored shades from a commercial did he come into view, seated on the farthest side of the sofa. He was like a single brilliant star on a sky of perfect midnight velvet, a star whose gravity stole the air from your lungs and left you breathless in the doorway upon first glance.

He was by far the most alluring human you have ever seen.

“Hey ___!” Ten suddenly shouted, cutting your train—or lack thereof—of thought into shreds and replacing it with your previous hatred. “Die,” was all you said, earning a chuckle from someone, although you could not seem to care to find out who and instead continued for the kitchen.

“How’s your day been?” He continued, yelling from the other room and you contemplated whacking the side of his head with a cast-iron pan. “Don’t talk to me,” you shouted back while rummaging through the refrigerator, only to pull out a container of half empty white rice left over two days prior and a gallon of Breyers Extra Creamy Vanilla from the freezer.

“Are you grumpy because of what happened this morning?” He singsongs, followed by just leave her alone from an unknown voice as you grab two spoons and slam the drawer close. He was truly pushing your buttons. Ice cream, rice, and spoons in hand you made way for the living room, paused midway, and mercilessly pegged one of the metal spoons at Ten.

It unexpectedly hit him square in the forehead, creating a chorus of oohs from the others and you beamed. “Don’t forget who owns this apartment, Chittaphon,” you sneered, gracing his friends with a beaming smile before spinning on your heels and marching back into your bedroom.

Needless to say, Ten found it in himself to never tread that deep into your patience again and even apologized the next morning. However, the image stuck in your brain of whoever sat in the corner of the living room could not go without questioning.

“Hey, who was over last night, by the way?” You asked as Ten took a seat on the couch beside you, flicking between different television channels. “Taeyong and Jaehyun.”

“Which one had the pink hair?”

Ten huffed, throwing in the towel when it came to choosing an adequate channel, “Taeyong, why?”

You shrugged, “Nothing.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not dumb, c’mon. You think he’s cute?” More than cute.

“I only saw him for like, a millisecond,” you sniffed, waving him off and returning to your assignment. “Good news. They’re coming over again tonight!”

You groaned, throwing your head back onto the plush cushion and kneading your eyes with your knuckles. “I didn’t pick up enough groceries to feed a whole soccer team,” you sighed, lolling your head over to blink at him. “We have eggs?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Tae will help you.”

And only after a proper introduction when Johnny, Jaehyun, and Taeyong arrived an hour later, you found yourself in the talons of a trap designed to drag you down into the depths of drool-worthy dreams and endless nights of “being in your bag.”

When it came time to cook a meal for the new clan you found ravaging your apartment, it took no less than half a minute for the cotton candy haired art-major (something you found out about him during some unacceptably adorable small talk) to jump up from his spot on the loveseat to aid you in any way possible.

“You like cooking?” He asked as you passed him another egg to be whisked, and you laughed heartily. “No, I just have to so I don’t blow all my money on takeout,” you explained, shrugged, and then followed with, “well, I don’t know. If I had time to cook out of enjoyment rather than survival, I would probably like it.”

“You should, it can be really relaxing,” he said, voice luxurious velvet as he poured the whisked eggs into the hot pan. “I don’t really know any recipes,” you shrugged, watching with quiet admiration as he went through what minimal spices you had while simultaneously folding the eggs into what would eventually be an omelet.

“Oh! I’ll have to show some you one day, then,” Taeyong grinned, and no matter how hard you tried you could not fight the rosy blush warming your features.

It was at this moment you realized you were royally fucked. There was absolutely no way of getting out of this one, you told yourself, and it was a constant reminder nearly every day when him, Johnny, and Jaehyun made their entrance. It was especially obvious on days he came over after class, the top few buttons of his shirt undone and revealing an inch too much skin that made your insides crawl, or the alone time you shared when he would help you in the kitchen, when one day over the course of three months you realized it had gone from two strangers forced to feed a group of helpless college kids to a pair naturally creating meals together, including a handful too many hip bumps, tickles, and any other type of physical touching to be categorized as just friends.

“No way,” you blew Ten off one morning when he asked if you thought you would ever date Taeyong, “he doesn’t like me like that.”

When all he did was roll his eyes, some part of you truly did drop with disappointment. For if he had said, “You should hear how he talks about you,” or, “You really are a dumb bitch,” then maybe you would have had some hope. But his lack of response confirmed your thoughts: Taeyong was an unattainable love.

Four months later, you and your now crimson haired friend dragged an absolutely wasted beyond repair Ten into his bedroom, flung him onto his mattress, removed his shoes, and patted him a good night.

“Sorry you had to deal with him,” you frowned, making way for the tiny kitchen and offering him a water in which he graciously took. Lord knows, if you had known he was coming, you would have been more prepared. And yet there you were, in nothing but an oversized tee shirt in front of the man who held all the stars in his irises and the very being of you in his hands.

“Don’t worry about it,” Taeyong smiled, clicked his tongue after taking a sip of water, “either way, I got to see my gi—you.”

Realizing his miniscule slip-up, Taeyong’s eyes grew the size of saucers, as did yours. My girl? Was that what he was going to say? You gulped, windpipe suddenly dryer than any desert on Earth, heart bumping frantically in your chest because holy shit, were you to blow it off or act on it?

Taeyong cleared his throat, and you did the same, an awkward tension suddenly filling the room thick like syrup and you were suffocating. “Anyway, I’m gonna head home. G’night, ___,” said Taeyong, offering a weak pat to your cheek. You watched him in silence as he left, and as soon as the door shut behind him the world came crashing down, the walls suddenly seemed to shrink and you hopped off the barstool in order to save yourself and sped to your bedroom in a rush of excitement and undeniable shock.

Only two days later you saw him again, a mini celebration in your apartment for the end of the semester with a bit too much soju involved. You found yourself curled into his side as the antics settled down further into the night, however alcohol still had your nerves on fire and you were hyperaware of Taeyong’s hand on what was exposed of your waist where your shirt had ridden up, long fingers drawing random patterns onto the bare skin and you could not breathe.

“___,” he said, you turned from the loud Raymour & Flanigan commercial blaring from the television to look at him, eyes wide and honest and his heart lurched. He suddenly could not find it in himself anymore to ask if he could stay the night and instead languidly studied your pretty features, face hovering closely above your own so you could feel his warm breath fanning across your cheeks and he did not know what to do.

“Taeyong!”

Ten shouted and the two of you jerked back, the serene moment suddenly popped like a bubble and you wanted to scream at him for ruining the possibilities.

The exchange between Taeyong and Ten turned to nothing but marbles in your ears, the idea of kissing him much too loud and growing from a small mustard seed hidden within your brain to an enormous tree. Except now it was in bold font and flashing every color known to man because there was no way he was actually going to kiss you, right?

Fast forward nearly a month later and here you were, found in yet another treacherous predicament as the man of your dreams sat only feet away. The past twenty-seven days were the worst of your life, you tell yourself; for every time you close your eyes, all you can picture is all the diminutive moments shared with Taeyong since your almost-kiss, every insignificant touch, every drawn-out ogling, every unnecessary compliment that only increasing became worse because Ten told him that you liked him. And instead of bringing it up, too fearful to do so even though you are convinced he must like you back, you push it away, avoiding any possible interaction that will lead to your potential collapse.

And so, when a, “Hey, do you want any help?” erupts from just around the wall, you nearly drop an egg when every muscle in your body freezes because yes he’s here but no get away. “Um,” you sniff, glancing down at the dozen eggs and then back to the boy sporting hair the shade of oozy caramel, “sure.”

You go on in silence, continuously passing Taeyong an egg to be cracked and then throwing out the shells, and you are telling yourself oh, this isn’t too bad until he decides to break the relative silence, “I like you.” You blink, squint at the wall before moving around him to wash yoke from your hands, hearing the words from those damn kissable lips makes your legs burn and heart thump at a rate that definitely is not healthy. “I know,” you finally answer, voice clogged in the back of your throat so you continue, “I like you too.”

“I know,” says Taeyong once you look up at him and he bestows upon you a toothy grin.

“I’m glad that’s settled, then,” you laugh breathlessly, leaning into his side as he scrambles the eggs, cheek pressed against his bicep, “you’re bulking up, I like it.” Taeyong drops his head to look down and you glance up with a smile that cannot seem to leave your face. “Jaehyun said the same thing,” he grins, pulling his arm away so that you must pull away but, just as your lips start to pout, he pulls your body close and wraps his arms around your waist.

In a sudden surge of courage, you raise your hand to trail a finger down the razor-sharp edge of his jawline, something you have dreamed of doing for months and now that you are finally able to, you do not know whether you will ever be able to stop. “Wow,” you almost say, breathlessly infatuated by his presence, however, the sudden pressure of his lips upon yours steals your breath furthermore and suddenly everything is all him and you pull yourself closer, air hitching in your lungs, nerves fizzing with sparks, melding your mouth against his own as the anticipation of kissing him over the past months has reached its boiling point.

“Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” Taeyong asks once you have pulled away, lips swollen red. “That’s the general plan, yes,” you laugh softly, planting a milder peck on the side of his mouth.

.

.

.

“Does anyone smell burning eggs?”

[pissedoffpaganbitch]

Astral Spaces, and How I Met Monsieur

This one's a long one guys, so if you like my ramblings you're in luck, and if you don't, well, I don't know what to tell you, but you've come to the wrong blog. It all sort of just, came out.

I want to talk a little bit about astral spaces, and creating a safe space. I don't know where it is in the astral, but there's some place that one could create anything they want. I don't know that it's actually a place. Perhaps it's an anti-place. Because it's more or less just space. It isn't really lucid dreaming, but I'm not sure that it's astral projection. It's somewhere on the web-work to the higher self.

The first time I found this place, was when Monsieur and I found out that you can certainly push too hard when diving into the realm of metaphysics. He was teaching me how to channel, and really working hard on dine tuning my empathy, so that we can communicate more easily through emotion and energy. And he was also starting to push for my Clairaudience. Note that I hadn't started developing my clairvoyance until well after my clairaudience had established itself. However, channeling was what he considered to be most important.

The thing was that this channeling was insanity for me. My body would get a mad rush, and I could feel every atom in my body vibrating. I was electrified. When I would be tired at the end of the day, I would nearly be shaking. He was telling me that I'm just like him, that it will be Hell for a while, but there will be a point where I break through, we've just got to push for it. So we did, I was completely willing. I was almost certain he was right, we had the same logic with it. But it really was Hell on my body, it was reacting to this in the same way it would react to stress. I could hardly eat, my muscles were constantly tied in knots. I felt like I had five coffees in me all. the. time. But it was fun, I felt so close to him. And I was in the process of really getting to know someone. You know how it is when you first meet someone, and they're really charming, and you can tell that they like you too, but les deux just are getting to know each other. It was like that, and God damn it if I wasn't just delighted by everything he said. When we weren't practising channeling, we would sit there flipping through books, and he would point things out to me, poems he had written, plants he liked, all manners if things really. We would just sit there and talk. And once my clairaudience had developed to the point where I could hear him distinctly from the voice of my own consciousness, he would tell me of his plans. More or less what we were doing. It solidified our relationship, and our loyalty to each other. To me, it was like being asked to go steady. To say the least, I was fucking stoked.

He was terribly smart in his life, and naturally as smart people might, he got bored. So he got to studying the things no one knew anything about. He was an explorer in his heart you see. So he started pondering the questions that have no answers. He had already been having prophetic dreams, and dreams of things that had no place in history. Then he began to notice the energies all around. That everything had a unique life force to it. He began talked to the plants, and getting to know all of the nature spirits. He had ideas, dangerous ideas. About bridging the gap of this world and the next. He had theories about how it worked.

After he died, he thought about it, and he chose to stay here, and see if he could get someone to notice him. To work with him. He thought about it, and tried working with various people, artists mainly, because they are natural channelers of energy, and because they also put out a lot of energy. Energy that he could use to manifest, and make his presence known to them. The last that he was with before me was a musician, with an incredible talent for stringing together words. The musician knew of his life, and read his poems, but didn't know he was actually there. The musician began to get old, and in the process, his mind became rigid. Monsieur knew he had to move on, find another, because it simply was not working. He needed to find someone who put out a lot of energy, emotionally, and I mean a lot. He needed someone as volatile as he was. But also someone who was receptive. I don't know if you live under a rock, but that's fucking hard to find.

Luckily for him though, I listened to the artists music, and loved it. I had terribly complex emotions, but I couldn't quite seem to figure out how to express them. This music was what I used to communicate in a lot of circumstances. In high school I had a panic disorder, and it was fairly unpredictable, we really didn't know my triggers but I would freak out. I speak of this in past tense because I ended up coping so well with my panic disorder that it was no longer a problem for me. However the victory was short lived, as life happened, I won't go into that, and I ended up with PTSD, which effected me in New ways with new triggers. Anywayyy, to get me to calm down if I was in a full panic, my mom would take me for drives in the mountains, and we would play music. My mom has a mild claircognisence that she's never really had to work on, she just knows weird ass stuff for no reason. While driving in the mountains, a song would come on, and she would say, "Listen, someone's trying to tell you something." And the song would be exactly what I needed to hear. This happened nearly everytime, and when it did, I would have incredible epiphanies, and I would feel better than I did before I even had the panic attack. She pointed him out to me even before I knew his words, before I knew he was even there. This, my friends, was the beginning to a long courtship.

I also wrote poetry like mad in high school, which I believe was another reason he found me to be a decent person to work with. I would write upward of ten poems a day, most I felt were good, most other people said were good. I would write a poem in five minutes flat, on a napkin, stuffed into the pocket of my notebook at home. At some point though, I got a phrase stuck in my head. It was a phrase he said, just an utterance. So i wrote it everywhere, my notebooks, the desks, the walls, the bathroom stalls. I didn't have a clue who wrote it, I only knew I did not.

Years later, he still hadn't gotten through to me. But he got his chance. I was talking to my mom one day, about my poetry I think. And that phrase came up. I got a weird feeling, and I knew I had to look up who had penned it. I found his name. And then a face. And with his face came a mad ping. Like I knew him. He was familiar to me. I read one of his poems. And when I did, I was overpowered by memories, visions. I got sucked into another life, my mind completely absorbed. I saw hills, with green grass, the wind blowing over it, bending it down. I felt the wind in my face. I smelled the outdoors, but it didn't smell like the meadowlands I knew so well. I even felt different, surrounded by beauty, but completely alone. When I came back from this thing I was completely stunned. I had never, ever experienced anything like that before. I cried, hard. Actually I bawled. It wasn't a sad cry though, it was the sort of cry that happens when a child falls and scrapes their knee. It was purely shocked. And really, at that time, I had already more the PTSD thing going, and I never cried. I'd seen horrible things, and never cried about any of it. My first thought was always that of survival, aside from that nothing else mattered. I was feral, wild, as I described it in the few poems I wrote in that time. So began the period where I thought I was him, that he was simply a past life of mine. The whole vision was from a personal point of view, mind you.

He must have used just about all the energy he had at once, simply to get my attention. And I missunderstood. But it was something. He got through to me on a personal level, and in the process he established some kind of psychic connection, because I was receptive to him. I really liked that poem, it had struck me perhaps deeper than the musician had before.

After that, it was nearly undeniable that he was there. He would communicate with me, through music mostly, and then through my thoughts. But they sounded a lot like my own thoughts. So i still was under the impression that I was just channeling an energy from a past life. However he became clearer to me and clearer. Until I could no longer deny that he was separate from me.

This is when we really began to work with each other. Hard. And he was certain that I could come to be the one who completes his work. I myself I'm not entirely sure that I will. I think it may take lifetimes. But he pushed for it, and I was ready. I loved it. The thing was that he pushed me so hard that there was a recoil type effect. I had a sort of survival reaction to this, as I was saying before, I was predisposed to survival, and my body was reacting to this as though it was some foreign stress. It happened when I learned about his death. He hasn't told me how he died, and so I looked into it. He was upset by this, and that sent me into a reaction of sorts too. We echoed off of eachother, and it was not a good outcome.

I got a lot of distress from him after that for hours. He couldn't communicate with me either. His energy was whirling out of control, and there was absolutely no clarity with it. So i did the only thing I actually knew that I could do. And I basically astral projected, but I can hardly say it was that, because it felt more as if I was going inside. One thing was certain, it was that I was not exactly in this world, I was where he was. He had been going through flashbacks of his death, a particularly slow and painful one. He had literally no control. He couldn't speak to me, or move. So i took him up, and slung his arm around my shoulder. I took him to a safe place, one that I created. One I thought he would like. And I laid him on the bed, his hair damp with feaverish sweat. It was there we lied together, trying to convince each other that no one was going anywhere. It was the first time I had seen him scared.

This was our first astral home. It was just a room, but the room was beautiful, with wooden furniture, flowers on the tables, and high ceilings, big windows through which the light shines in.

The next day we woke up, still emotionally bruised from the night before. Feeling like crap, I went back to sleep. I was woken up later that morning to a dove that came and landed on my window, right above my head. It was a message for both of us from my higher self. The mourning dove is a symbol that love cannot grow in the presence of grief, that one has to heal to move on. Which basically meant that he had to let up on me, or he would destroy us both.

It became a deeper relationship after that. He showed me more love, but still encouraged me in our work, continuing to develop my senses, but fighting off every strange spirit he thought would interfere with me. A love between us grew, like a vine. He had always been affectionate before, but now it was deeper. We were equals. He showed me a fierce passion which I had never seen on any other. There was a sense of always wanting to be near, always wanting to touch, to speak, to assure me that he was here.

There have been a few times, where, busy with school, I would forget to pay him any mind. And he would sneak into my dreams, and remind me that he's here, and that he's not going anywhere. He would remind me how I felt about him.

Eventually he made a place for me as well. I think as a response to the kindness I had shown to make him a place to sleep, to sit in the sun in comfort and peace, and read, recover. He made it the way he believed I would like it, and in the process, he one upped me. It was not just a room, this place, it was a house. An upstairs, down stairs, kitchen, living room, master bedroom, master bathroom house. Sleek and modern style to boot. The decoration style was simple, but as a whole the place was cpmplicated, saturated in tiny details.

It was after that when we decided to make something together. Imagine the vastness of the place. This one has an outside, a few rooms, which will have beautiful details in them. It will be both simplistic, and elegant by the time we get done with it. It will be ours.

Wow you made it!

Muddy and Monsieur

[queen-karen-3]

How You Met

Preference #1

--

Zach:

Your older sister, Ayla, had been complaining that she doesn't spend much time with you. You were 16 years old, who was taking junior and senior classes to graduate 2 years early. To say you were smart is an understatement. You never were the type of girl who went to parties, drinks, smokes, sneaks out- never. If anything you were scared of that life. Finally, when you finished your classes and had successfully graduated early, you went and stayed with your sister in L.A.

"Y/N!" You heard your name being shouted and a waving hand just barely above everyone's heads. You had just landed in LAX and was looking for your sister. Just like your sister, you were short. You beat your sister in height by an inch and a half. Which you bragged about a lot.

"Ayla!" You shrieked and ran towards her. She met you halfway, pulling each other into a tight embrace. You saw her at your graduation but since you were busy greeting and taking pictures with many and many other family members, you didn't get to spend much time with her.

"Guys remember how I said Ayla's younger sister, Y/N, is coming into town. Well, last time we saw her, Ayla left her in my apartment with Kong. And we've never compared them to each other. But look! Y/N is taller than Ayla! " Logan exclaimed, talking to the Logangsters.

"Logan, good to see you again!" You shrieked jumping into his arms, wrapping your short arms and legs around him.

"Koala! It's good to see you again! Hows the graduated life! Guys This girl is so smart- you have no idea! She's 16 and she just graduated from high school like a month ago!" Logan yelled into his camera, making a scene. A tall guy, yelling into a camera with a short girl hanging onto his body like a koala, odd picture to see.

When you three made it to Logan's purple charger you called dibs on shotgun. Seeing as you are taller.

You were busy taking in the big city to realize that Logan was talking up a band and that you were all going over to their place. When you arrived you were distracted by the huge house and amazing view. You didn't even realize Logan and group of 5 guys talking and laughing until Ayla handed you Logans puppy, Kong.

"I gotta use the bathroom real quick, do not let the boys take Kong." She warned you.

"Hey, Y/N! Come here. I want to introduce you to someone." Logan said from a patio couch.

"Yeah?" You asked sitting next to him petting the puppy in your arms.

"Y/N this is Zach, Zach this is Y/N. You are both 16 and single." Logan said running off to the four other guys.

"Heh, hi," Zach said shyly. His cheeks turning a slight shade of red.

"Hi." You said finally looking him in the eyes. Your eyes locked and legitimately lost your breath.

"Can I get your number before you leave?" He asked after a moment of just looking at each other.

"Yeah, of course." You smiled at him, which he returned.

Jack:

You were at a skate park in L.A. That your best friend and boyfriend dragged you to. You were dating the quarterback of the football team from your school. He was very cocky and jockey. But before that, he was a sweet nerd who put you first. The only reason you were you still together was that you didn't want to throw five years of your relationship away. You loved him but you weren't in love with him. You cared deeply for him but you can't see the same future with him anymore. He loves you but to his friends, you're his 'ball and chain'. He wants a future with you but only if you're okay with an open relationship. He cheats on you at least three times a month. But his friends cover it up for him. And you never suspected a thing.

"Y/N since you're here you should learn to skate." Your best friend said. She was into skating as much as your boyfriend. You were glad they got along but you didn't know just how great they got along.

"I'm gonna fall on my face. And you know it." You said laughing, but still getting up off the ground. You weren't the type to wear heels to school. You were a jeans, converse and nice top kind of gal.

You stood up on the board already feeling like your falling. You steadied yourself as you mimicked your best friends actions. After hours and hours of going short distances, you finally started to get the hang of it. You had Y/B/F go ahead as you went your pace. You were just cruising around all the obstacles when you had a board to board collision with another skater. You fell on your ass and he did too.

"Oh sorry, I wasn't looking where I was skating." You said laughing at yourself. Looking over to who you crashed with. He had the best top ramen looking hair ever.

"Oh no, it's okay. I wasn't either." He said laughing.

Oh my goodness, his laugh sounds like angels singing in my ears. You thought.

"You skate?" The noodle headed boy asked you.

"Uh, no not really. I'm just started to learn." You laughed at yourself.

"I'm Jack." He said holding out his hand for you to shake. You firmly shook his hand but didn't let go. You two were still sitting on the ground with your boards between you two, at your feet.

"Here let me help you up." He said getting up and pulling you with him.

"Thanks." You were mesmerized by his hair, eyes, smile- his appearance in general.

He waited, standing there with his skate board at his feet and his hand in your hand, waiting for you to introduce yourself. But he didn't mind holding your hand. He smiled patiently.

"Uh sorry. I'm Y/N." you introduced yourself after coming back into reality.

"Y/N suits you." He said smiling at your confused expression

"What do you mean by that?"

"Pretty name for a pretty girl." He simply said not letting go, which you didn't mind.

Daniel:

You were best friends with Logan and Jake Paul but when shit started to go south with Jake and Alissa, you Usian bolt and run. You moved out of the Team 10 house and moved in with Logan because you were on Alissa's side on this. Jake didn't like that you left the house but, you were only there because he asked you to move in as his best friend. But over the months of Team 10 developing he turned into some fake, click bait, hater. You didn't like who he turned into, you wanted the guy he used to be. Then shit started happening on twitter, he said that he kicked you out and Alissa left and that you were both talking shit on twitter and Instagram. You didn't have a YouTube channel. You never really bothered with one because you were afraid you were gonna turn into some arrogant ass-butt.

You moved in with Logan and Mark around the time Jake came out with the It's Everyday Bro song. In the song, he called out you, Alissa and so many other people. You were pissed when the song came out. You had the idea of making The Fall of Jake Paul. Logan wanted to do that song too but he wanted his boys, Why Don't We, in the diss track because Jake dissed them somewhere, you didn't really pay attention to the band because of the recent 411.

You were sitting on a love sac, in the middle of a fight over text with Jake. He was pleading to not make the song he thinks you're making.

"Stupid ass-butt." You muttered, tossing your phone to another loves farther away. You close your eyes, you were so frustrated with everything that Jake started. You were too focused on your breathing to notice the WDW boys and Logan enter the apartment. When you opened your eyes you were surrounded with 5 very attractive guys and Logan with his vlog camera.

"Making every teenage girl's dreams come true." You said looking at all of the guys, they were all smiling down at you. "God, you're even more attractive when you smile."

They all laughed at your comment and sat down around you.

"Y/N these are the boys. Corbyn, Jack, Jonah, Zach, and Daniel" Logan introduced you to the boys, pointing at each individual. You were so caught up with names and faces that you were so confused.

"Boys, this is my roommate and my old neighbor back in Ohio, Y/N Y/L/N!" He said, pointing towards you. The camera recording everything. A string of heys was said to you.

Then lastly, the boy with the long neck and tooth gap said "Hi" he smiled at you, showing off his tooth gap.

"Hi," you said, smiling like a school girl at the attractive guy that caught your eye.

"Yes, she's single," Logan said right as the rest of the WDW boys said "Yes, he's single"

"You already know Daniel and Y/N are gonna get together," Logan whispered to his Vlog camera, catching your attention as well as Daniels.

"What?" You both asked in unison, still smiling.

Corbyn:

You're two best friends had recently been obsessed with some new boy band. You didn't share the same music taste as them, usually. But this time this band was pretty good. You didn't bother looking them up and doing the whole nine yards of fangirling over a new band.

"Y/N! You will never guess what my dad just surprised me with!?" Y/B/F screamed running into your house. She basically lived there, considering her father was a lawyer and spent more time on a plane than anywhere else.

"A car?" You guessed from your spot at the dining table. You were doing your homework eating some left over pizza from the night before. Your parents were on an anniversary trip for the rest of the week. Taking your infant baby brother. And leaving you home alone for at least week. You weren't complaining. You loved being alone. No curfew, you don't have to ask to have friends over, to go out, it's every teenager's dream.

"No!" She said jumping up and down.

"Just tell me." You were growing annoyed. Considering she didn't let you sleep the night before because she was going on and on about her future husband, Jack Avery.

"WHY DONT WE CONCERT TICKETS!" She exclaimed, still jumping.

"Wait, what?! Why? For when? How many tickets?!" You asked smiling. You liked their music. But didn't know who they were.

"Yeah. He missed my birthday last month, he had that one stalker/ murder case in New York For this weekend. Three tickets with VIP passes." She answered your questions.

"Awesome! Who else is going? Our infamous gay best friend?!" You asked, sarcastically.

The weekend finally came around and you were ready. You had to ask your parents for this event because well, you weren't going to be back when they returned. You were the one that drove from Hollywood to San Francisco. The entire way there your best friends played WDW. But you weren't annoyed. You eventually joined them and belted out the notes and words in the car.

Finally, you guys got to the venue just in time for the meet and greet. You didn't really know them so you weren't that excited for the meet and greet. But your friends were.

"Daniel is legit my favorite. He's the one with a tooth gap. It's so fucking adorable." Your gay best friend said trying to look over the many and many of girls in line. After nearly an hour you were next. The limit was two people at a time. Which you were fine with going alone.

"Next!" The guard said. Your friends going up to each of them and hugging them. Taking pictures. You were busy looking around. Taking in your surroundings when the guard spoke again. You walked up to the boys excited and humble.

"Hey" a guy with noodle hair greeted me first. Seeing as he was first in line.

"You're Jack, right?" You said remembering the little trivia game your friends had you play.

"Yeah! Let me guess you're the friend that likes the music but doesn't know the band?" He asked you. You nodded.

"Okay. well, I'm Jack. This is Zach. Then it's Jonah, Daniel, and last but not least Corbyn. " he introduced you to the group trying to match names to faces. The last one was distracted by saying bye to your friends. When he turns to the group he saw you with a confused face. Looking at the boys and your lips slightly moving, trying to make a connection of name to a face.

"Oh, you're the one friend that doesn't know the band but like the music!" The blonde haired guy said smiling like a doofus.

"Corbyn?"

"That's my name. What's yours?" He asked offering his hand for you to shake.

"Y/N," you said taking his hand in yours. He pulls you into a tight embrace. Your trip on the way and fall into him.

"Awe, she fell for him!" Zach said making everyone laugh, even you. You pulled away from Corbyn, his cheeks and yours a light shade of pink. You took individual photos and then a group photo.

"Okay. Thanks, guys! Good luck out there!" You said walking towards the exit. You felt a tug of your wrist, turning around to face Corbyn.

"Text me after or before the show. I don't care." He said handing you a phone case that had their logo with a piece of paper in it with his number. And name.

"It's Corbyn if you forgot. "

"I didn't forget. With a face like that, how can I?" You asked smirking and winking at Corbyn before turning and walking away.

Throughout the entire show, he looked for you and just stared at you. Singing and dancing around, he'd look for your face and he'd smile brighter. He even got so distracted he forgot his lines. Making you laugh, as well as his band mates.

Jonah:

You sitting in a Starbucks drinking your third cup of iced coffee, laptop opened in front of you and books upon books around you. You were interning for Atlantic Records. And it was fun but the paperwork was stressful. And if you even missed one day. The pile triples in size. You were stressed but you loved doing what you were doing. At the moment you listening to a new bands ep. You had to give your honest opinion on the songs and the band in general.

You've gone through at least a months worth of paperwork and you were beginning to feel a headache. You went up to the counter and ordered a water instead of coffee.

Hours later you finally decided it was time to leave. As you packed your stuff up you saw a group of three guys walk in. You realized that the three were guys who walked in was Daniel Seavey, Zach Herron, and Jack Avery. Three out of five members of a new band, Why Don't We. You walked up to them ready to speak but forgot what you were gonna say.

"You guys are members of Why Don't We, correct?" You asked, just wanting to make 100% sure.

"Yeah. How did you know? We aren't officially official yet." Jack Avery said.

"I'm interning at Atlantic Records. Your song Taking You is my favorite. I actually was the one that basically vouched for you guys to be signed to Atlantic Records." You sounded so formal and business like but on the inside, you were hardcore fangirling.

"What? No way! You like us that much? You've never met us before?" Zach said, astonished that one of the main reasons the band is because of the girl standing in front of them.

"Yeah. I know. All I needed to do was listen to your guys' tape to know you're gonna dent the world. I could not be any more happy and proud of you guys." You praised them. They each hugged you.

"Hey, why don't you come over and we can have a great celebration dinner? Our parents just got us a house and they are making a dinner to celebrate getting signed." Daniel said, you thought about it and why the hell not.

"Yeah sure. I want to meet the rest of you!" You said. Excited for the dinner.

"Great! Why don't I pick you around 5? Dinner is at 7. That's a good amount of time to get to know us, right?" Daniel suggested. You nodded with a toothy grin.

Later that night you received a text from your supervisor inviting you to the dinner because you had been their #1 supporter since day one. You let him know that the boys themselves invited you to go. And he thought it was a great idea. You were dressed casual but formal. You wore leggings, with a nice blouse and booted heels. Light make up with beach wave hair. A knock at the door signifies that Daniel had arrived. You grabbed your phone and purse and opened the door.

"Daniel! Hey!" He hugged you.

"Y/N, hey! Ready?" He asked, smiling showing his tooth gap.

"Yeah let me just get my keys and lock up." You grabbed your keys and locked the door to your apartment.

As you walked to Daniels car downstairs he and you talked about their families and everyone who was there. You got to know each other as well. Not a second of the ride over was silent or awkward. When you arrived at the WDW boys' house you were amazed at the view they had. It was beautiful. You followed Daniel into the house as he gave a small house tour going towards where everyone else was, outside. Where the view only got better.

"Hey, parentals! This is the intern that is basically one of the reasons we were signed to Atlantic Records." Daniel introduced you to the boys' parents.

"Y/N," you said shaking each and everyone's hands.

As the night went on you became more comfortable around them. Except you still have yet to meet Corbyn and Jonah.

You walked up to Corbyn who was getting a refill on his drink.

"Hi, Corbyn, right?" You asked, getting his attention.

"Yeah, that's me! You must be Y/N! I have heard so much about you. It's great to meet you too." He said with a big grin on his face.

"Right back at Ya! I wanted to introduce myself but looks like the three boys already did that for me," you said laughing.

"It's okay. Let's formally introduce us. My names Corbyn!" He said laughing.

"Names Y/N, pleasure meeting you." You said extending your hand. He pushes your hand to the side and goes in for a hug instead.

"The pleasure is all mine." You hugged him back.

"Have you met Jonah yet?" He asked pulling apart.

"Haven't had time. I've been passed around like a baton or something. Getting thanked and hugged when you guys did the hard work. I simply listened to your music and fell in love with it." You said laughing at the end.

"Awe. Thanks. Just so you know, we really are so grateful for the things you've done and said about our music. It means a lot." He said guiding you to Jonah. He tapped a tall guys shoulder, he paused his conversation with Jack and turned to Corbyn.

"Jonah have you met Y/N? She's that one intern that vouched for us." Corbyn said, laughing at the end. You looked up to Jonah, eyes locking. It took a while for him to respond.

"No, I haven't had the chance. Y/N, it's a great pleasure." He said extending his hand awkwardly. You giggled at his actions.

"You're the shy one." You guessed, mainly because he is the only one that hasn't hugged you.

"Yeah, I guess I am the shy one." He scratched the back of his neck, getting nervous.

"It's okay. It's cute." You said taking a chance seeing as the rest of the guys had left for you two to talk.

"You're cute." He said putting both of his hands in his front pockets, shifting his weight back and forth on the balls of his feet.

You chuckled. "Smooth." You said laughing at his reaction.

"Thanks, I really tried not to sound awkward or shy." He said laughing at himself, taking a step closer to you. You looked up to him again getting lost in his eyes, and him getting lost in yours.

--

8/16/17

[writemywalks]

Letters to the piece of my heart: Ushuaia

After last year events I haven’t flashbacked much, in fact, they cured me of all the drama-related crap and now I barely whine or regret about trying new things like  i rarely feel that out-of-nowhere sadness. Sometimes true sad things set life priorities for you and you just chill the hell down.

Ergo, with that mindest I left home (aka new home/grandma house) a day after Christmas to the airport with a clenched butt, since my budget for the actual trip was very low and I had no credit card to back me up. But in spite of it, with a whatever comes attitude, me and my friend took off and myself finally enjoyed a flight for the first time, since the last two i did, I had a bad time being suspended on air in a locked-up plane.

For the first time in my life, I made this trip with zero expectations, like I wasn’t daydreaming or creating likely scenarios in my head. The only thing that was at the back of my brain was that, this Plan B was going to be made in honor of what Plan A should have been about. Even though our flight was delayed for almost three hours, everything was fine and we made it safe and sound.

Outside the airport while looking for a taxi, we came to realize that it was very windy and that in fact, there wasn’t a drop of the heat we left back in Buenos Aires. We were kind of insecure about the hostel we booked, since it looked too good to be true, but at this point we were already free falling. Once we checked-in and settled in our rooms, we saw that, in fact, everything was just like in the booking page pictures, and we had a plus: our shared bedroom had a dreamy view with mountains that seemed to be 5′ away. 

Gotta say I love having anecdotes of roomates farting in the middle of the night, or people having smelly feet that make you almost pass out, you really hate it when you’re there but I look back laughing now.

I think our first tour was “The end of the world” train that is basically a comfortable train with big windows indeed that takes you throughout dreamy landscapes while you’re being told the old prisoners stories that used to work in the mines located there.

It was a nice ride and bet my life that must be a whole dream on winter, with all those mountains and landscapes full of snow. There were some waterfalls, little lakes, and some good scenery that a movie would do.

On the same day we also booked a tour to the “Canal Beagle”, a channel where there’s the iconic “end of the world lighthouse”, sea lions and pinguins. This was the tour which worth every penny we payed. When we took our sits inside the catamaran, the view from the window of the city from afar looked similar to the Niek Engelschmanbrug buildings in Amsterdam. Once the city landscape was out of sight, we decided to approach the bow of the boat and there are no words to express how much freedom, feeling like singing and all that carefree crap i felt right there. I was like, living in the present is the moto one should live with.

After our first tour we went back to the hostel and spent the following two days boring the hell out of us. Me neither my friend are what we would call antisocial but we are really laid back people, so we weren’t having much sucesss regarding making new friends in the hostel, so we spent the time drinking mate, laying down in the sofa listening to music and scrolling down IG (and with our friend scolding us from her own beach vacation through FaceTime for being lazy asses).

The following day we woke up very early since we had to go to Laguna Esmeralda, a 2 hour and a half trekking to a Lake with a emerald color with white-peaked mountains as far as eye could see. I must have lost almost four pounds walking up and down those muddy paths where I baptized half leg after my friend pulled me down when she almost slipped herself.

Even though you stop to take some pictures, none of them does justice to what your retinas and brain keep for the rest of your life. The most I remember was being eager to reach the lake, the wind against my face, feeling so small in front of those enormous and even more majestic mountains, Indeed some things that a snapshoot would never show.

The first thing we did when we arrived to the lake was devouring our ham and cheese sandwiches, we were starving like mad after such long walk. Then well-fed and full, we decided to take a 5′ nap in front of this movie set-like place. I tried FaceTiming my family but we were so far from everything that we didn’t have any signal at all. I remember trying to capture a lot of videos of my camera and there’s some pictures on my cellphone with my ass laying near the lake trying to capture some good shoots from below. Some other people were icing their beer amongs the rocks since the water was quite cold and there were people gather here and there chatting and with the same wide-eyed gaze we probably had.

When we had enought rest, we walked beside the lake and tried to find some another view closer to the white-peaked mountains. Whatever we looked, it looked dreamy and sadly, we only had 40 minutes to record that in our minds before the truck came to take us to the city again. Our way back to the entrance seemed to take hours, since we were completely out of air and our legs were already giving up. 

Since my budget was low, I just knew these were about to be the only three tours and experiences I would have in the whole trip. They weren’t THAT expensive but I didn’t have much to spend around and we still had to buy our New Year’s Eve dinner. 

On December 31th, me and my friend woke up with the idea to just walk around the city since even walking the streets was a dream. Don’t ask us how but we ended up taking another tour since I remembered I had the hostel deposit left, I made my last bet and we made our way to Glaciar Martial.

The way to the Glaciar was non-stop uphill, we would stop once in a while to catch some air because contrary to the Lake, the path never went downhill. But as we got closer to the peak of the mountain the air was not only more fresh but we saw from afar people playing in the peak of the mountain full of snow?

Let me tell you, my experience with snow is ZERO, I never had a winter holiday and I never seen it falling down and played like in a Christmas movie. I remember watching some vlogs of people playing with snow before I left for the trip but I knew it wasn’t winter season so there was no chance of seeing snow. I remember reaching the summit with my friend and walking over it with my trainers and since we had left with the idea of just walking around the city, my boots were sleeping in the hostel room and I told my friend “I feel I’m walking over my freezer” and my friend who already went to the South in winter said behind me “girl, this is what snow feels like” and I remember sliding down the hill and sincerely having the time of my life. 

And again, a picture never captures your ass freezing, the back of your mind singing that new song you just listened to and feeling the world is so full of wonder and a lot yet to be seen. The view from the top was outstanding. On our way back down, turning to the entrance some grief came out of nowhere and I started tearing up again. That’s how it works, I guess.

.While we were walking down, we were talking with my friend how much of a dream the ski center must be on winter, since there were some chairlifts hanging there and a winter place off service and my longing to see snow falling increased a bit more. Someday.

My wet ass and my friend came back the hostel and some guests were just chilling so we decided to call our Chilean friend we had made two days earlier and fetch some dinner, since the supermarkets closed at 6 pm.

Wish I could tell how much fun I had that night. Meeting a group of Russians, making Italians taste some Argentinian homemade beverages, eating different Chinese dishes made by a guy from Hong Kong who talked in a spotless british accent, laughing with the tall German guy who suggested picture poses and laughed everytime. I bet he barely spoke spanish or english but we understood each other. And ending up dancing with all this people. Duuuude, it’s so odd seeing foreign people dancing to local music but we laughed and man, the beer made in the South, let me tell you, it’s the best I’ve tasted in a while.

The countdown was such a thrill, that’s when I knew I wanted to spend every NYE ahead at places I haven’t seen yet. The rest of the night we spent it, chillin with the only people awake in the hostel: the Argentinians. Everyone else were already sleep by 2 am. Extremely odd for our culture.

I wish I could tell how much I learned from this trip, how people who traveled on their own encourage us to do it, how safe I felt walking around the city at night with the friends we made there, that if you’re open enough, chances can be infinite.

I’m looking forward to more adventures like that.

It’s never too late to wake up to life.

[littlefirefox]

Why I ship the shit I ship

So,I know that shipping in general is a fangirl’s main thing.Basically,it’stwo people or characters that have a chemistry, fanon or canon that makes you super happy and giggly. I know that shipping characters is usually fine,because they aren’t real people, though people do fight over differnet characters.Then, there is shipping real people in the real world. I understand why morals are questioned, but if it does not directly affect you, then don’t bother. I realize that it’s hard to avoid people who ship IRL people, but that does not give you permission to be an asshole. 

Fandom communities are wide, broad and very diverse. You have artists, writers, bloggers, people who do all three, people who spectate, newbies, veterans and crack shippers along with many variations. It’s designed that way so that everyone feels like they have a place in a community. Fandoms are a great way to meet new people, observe writings from young writers and look at incredible art from all kinds of sources. So, why should a ship ruin your time.

I have many ships,as I’ve been in many differnt fandoms. Some, I stayed in a little but left, due to a new interest. Others, I am still in because I am so involved in the fandom or that I can’t get enough of it. Some fandoms I was in or currently are in right now, are: Thomas Sanders, Jacksepticeye, Crankgameplays, Markiplier, Teamiplier, Hetalia, Free!, Attack on Titan, Harry Potter, Supernatural,Sherlock, Doctor Who and at one point, Twilight. As you can see, almost all of them contain real people, whether actors or not. I know for a fact! that YouTube especially, is kinda new in the whole Fandom thing, as it can be hard to create and maintain a captive audiance and keep that audiance to create a fandom around that. But,with it’s growing popularity, YouTube fandoms are growing bigger. And with bigger fandoms, come shipping fangirls. 

C’mon though, there are a lot of collabs and there are quite a few that make you smile, because there is a chemistry between the people. Little chemistries that blossom into amazinga nd pure friendships. These friendships lead to meeting IRL and collabing together in the same location. (I’m mainly talking about gaming channels here). Fangirls love a good chemistry, and they are pretty fricking good at finding a quality chemistry and blowing it out of the water. Soon, there’ll be fanart, fanfictions and posts about these encounters, ranging from fluff, to angst to smut and lemons. We all know it happens, so deal with it. 

Then, come the realists, who start bashing ships with facts. “They aren’t gay”, “They have girlfriends” and “Why are you writing abotu REAL people??” So what?! It’s make believe and for fun anyways! FanFICTION! Fiction is not real / parallel universes, where this stuff can become a reality. Trust me, we know it’s not real. That doesn’t mean we can’t dream and create universes to make it real. 

But, that is not what this is about. You all probably know this, since I’m writing this on Tumblr. This is about my ships (which I will list a majority of them) and then I will (try) to explain why I ship it the way I do without a lot of words.

My ships include the following:

YOUTUBE:

Phan (YT) This ship is one of the most famous, but I don’t ship it as most do. I view this glorious ships as the cutuest and purest brotp ever. I’m talking plaonic I love you’s, forehead kisses and hand holding. This ship for me is fluff! Because they’ve known each other for a long time, I don’t doubt they tried dating, but I can’t see it working out. I feel with their bond, it’d be awkward for them, so they break up, and just stay as incredibly close friends.

Jelix (YT) A semi-rare pair of YouTubers jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie. This is also just an incredible brotp for me. Any collabs they do are super fun and engaging and they almost seem like brothers. The playful fighting and insults remind me of a brotherly feel to their relationship. I know that Jack is dating Signe and she is an incredibly badass girl with killer style, and I ship Septishu so hard! They are absolutely adorable together!!

Septishu (YT / IRL ) Oh. My. God! I can’t even begin to explain this ship. It’s super cute and super canon! Wiishu is an INCREDIBLE person, with the gall to keep up with the loud tennis ball that is Jack / Sean. She has an amazing sense of style and her make-up is always gorgeous. How can ANYONE hate this incredibly adorable Danish badass?! Plus, she has her own YouTube! Any videos she does with Jack are incredibly cute and sweet. 

Tythan (YT) This one will garuntee get me in trouble... Tythan. Oh, the newest (kinda) ship of Ethan from Crankgameplays and Tyler from Teamiplier. Two guys who (maybe?) live(d) together and appear quite frequently on Markiplier’s channel. But, there is a chemistry between the adorable Baby Boy Blue and Stone-Face Tyler. With subtle glances, a couple hovering incidents and a bunch of adorable interactions, how can you not like these two boys. They botha re incredible and sweet people who just wanna spread kindness. How I ship this,I still don’t know. It’s  mixture of lovey-dovey romance with platonic friends who just get along great! I just like seeing my bois together!

Crankiplier- A weird pair, but I like the weird ones. Basically, it’s just Mark and Ethan as their current relationship is. They get along great and Mark has said that Ethan impresses him, with his perservearance of not giving up on his YouTube channel. Plus, thei have great laughs together and their collabs are hilarious! 

Cranksepticeye- Another odd-ball. I don’t know why I like this pair. It’s just, fitting? Both loud bois with colored hair with a dedication to making their fans happy. Plus, they have somewhat similar mannerisms, like constantly brushing hair out of their eyes, and their loud and hyperactive personalities, along with steadfast morals. To me, it’s a mirroring thing and besides, my bois are precious. 

Septiplier-No, THIS one will definitelly get me in trouble... Okay, this originally wasn’t going to be on here, but I ship this. Now, before you get your panties in a twist, let me explain this. I love the friendship of Mark and Jack. The banter and the playful jabs are so funny. They have girlfriends and I only ship them as friends. Much like Tythan. The dynamic chemistry between them, plus the banter, their Prop Hunt videos and general collab videos are hilarious. I did ship it romantically at one point, but not the smutty lemons and that. Eck. I like pure things with dynamic characters that have great chemistry. Septiplier is dead, but their friendship lives on in my heart, because to me, that’s all they ever would be. 

HETALIA: I should say this. All of these ships are based around Fanon only, as I’m not a fan of the show itself. I really love the fanon universe that’s been created.

RusAme- Shut up. I like a good, conflicting pair! A lot of good angst, and headcanons. These two are such a power couple.

FrUK- SIBLINGS!! I don’t ship this romantic. Their pasts are too deep and troubled for them to be romatically in love in my book. 

USUK- SIBLINGS!! See FrUK for the explanation. 

Spamano: A fiesty Italian matched with a lovey-dovey Spaniard who has a great ass? Sign me up! A pair tha’s dynamically opposed, hell yeah!

GerIta- It’s canon. You can notprove it too me othewise.

ScotEng- https://www.youtube.com/user/KamisWorld94 There ya go. These two (German??) cosplayers have created these characters so beautifully that I can’t help but NOT ship them.

AmeCan- Brotherly Love. Grown up together under heavy Native American influence until the British and French came, but still raised in similar ways and are the best bros ever!

DenAme- Two hyperactive, silly adults with the enerdy of 6 year olds? Yep! Two stubborn men with morals, a love for showing strength and then silly antics? Sign me up!

PrUK- Bros. I fully believe in the Head Canon that these two were twins. yeah. 

SpUK- Pirate. Days. 

Awesome Trio- Beer? check. Three men with childish energy levels? check. A home alone? check. Crazy, drunken antics? Sign me up!

SANDERS SIDES: Aka the zany personalities of the amazing Thomas Snaders

Polysanders- Because I love the idea of the aspects of Thomas loving themselevs and each other.

HARRY POTTER:

Drarry- Shut up. I can’t help it! I’m a slut for contradicting characters finally resolving all their hate for love instead, finding out that being gay is okay, and that they are happier. (I’m also a slut for 8th Year Drarry. Huh! be still my beating heart!)

Harmony- Come on! These two get along like brother and sister. Hermione always worrying about Harry, Harry making sure Hermione has some fun. He usually sticks with Ron on arguments, but he does side with hermione when Ron’s being and arse. They watch out for each other, and in thd Deathly Hallows, when Ron leaves and Harry tries to cheer her up? That was super pure and I love their relationship. 

Ginny X Luna- Cute lesbians both underestimated by others? YES!! Luna helps Ginny be a little more girly and Ginny helps Luna with her hexes. Ginny definitely is the protector, but Luna’s in Ravenclaw for a reason. She’s super witty, and exceptionally clever, with music. Plus, Luna and Ginny having sleepovers where they braid hair and just chatter are my achilles heel!

WolfStar- What? Come on! I love Maruaders so much! I would pay a lot of money, to have a Maruader’s universe series, written like Casting Moonshadows. That fic is a blessing on this Earth!! Plus, the YT group, Mishcief Managers have a to die for Marauder’s universe and even a killer Drarry storyline!

Notice: I am not tagging any of the people mentione din this for good reasons. Many of them have said that they do not want to be tagged in shippy stuff that’s about their friends. At least, that’s what I’m trying to prevent. I love them all, because they are all amazing people, so don’t be douchebags and tag them. (What I mean is by @ ) I will tag the various ship names, and fandoms.

[ironic-lion]

soy luna youtube au

because let's face it this had to be done

so jazmín would still have fab & chic

delfi starts out always appearing on the channel as well but she kinda does her own thing later

pedro the smol cinnamon roll has a life advice channel and boi he's good at it

everyone just loves him

he's so nice and easy to watch

he never leaves you feeling discouraged

you just wanna get off your ass and change the world after you watch him

(at one point he tries a cooking channel but it takes exactly one video attempt and a burnt kitchen for him to give up)

nina has this book and study channel

and she absolutely loves it

it's more on the nerdy side

ámbar has a vlog channel where she just posts about her life

it's like watching a more glamorous version of yourself honestly

yam has a fashion channel and everyone just absolutely adores her

(and also jim and yam collab v often and the fandom goes crazy every time it happens)

jim has a mix of pretty much everything but mostly it's about dancing and singing

(and also domestic videos of her and yam but shhh)

gastón's channel would mainly be about dressing well and books

it's hard to believe but it's a combo that works

luna is just a smol bean trying to find her way through life (aka she's a mess)

honestly most of her videos don't even have a structure

she just babbles about everything that comes to her mind

it's so nice and relaxing tho

and you always feel like seeing and old friend again

because she's so open and nice

sometimes she uploads random vlogs

or skating videos when she's feeling like it

matteo would have a looooot of travel vlogs and skating videos and just generally have the cool boy vibe

you either love him or you hate him

there's no in between

it just doesn't exist

you either get his sense of humor and love him

or you don't and despise him

but still most people love him

because come on this is the internet

most of us are sarcastic little shits

simón uploads a lot of video of the rollerband practicing

he also uploads some funny challenges

he's basically the person you go to if you want a nice mix of everything

but somehow it's still organized

honestly how does this boy do that

no one knows

luna wants to know his secret

because sometimes she gets random bursts of motivation

all she gets is “ambition”

nico is the vlogger of the group

he vlogs everything

absolutely everything

at first especially the ones with Secret Relationships are wary

but then they start to relax

it's not like they don't want anyone to know

most of them just had no idea how to tell the internet

but anyway back to delfi for a moment

she would have a channel on how to achieve your dreams

and give advice and mainly tell people to dump their shitty friends

but also how she managed to become such a successful business woman

“i never stopped working for what i wanted and i had an amazing and supportive boyfriend”

pedro and her haven't openly talked about their relationship but...

the looks they give each other in vlogs says everything

the fandom basically takes this as confirmation

(they may or may not upload a super sappy video of them talking about their relationship and just generally being disgustingly cute)

ramiro has a channel where he uploads videos of himself singing and dancing

he and jim collab quite often and they're pretty much everyone's fave dynamic dancing duo

the fandom is divided into 3 parts

the 'jim and ramiro are obviously dating'

the 'yam and ramiro are soooo married'

the 'jim and yam are in love stop this crap'

little do they know they're all v in love with each other

ricardo is the only one of the adults who has a youtube channel and actually knows how to use it

he is a gamer obviously

and he has no idea what he's doing

also obvious

monica would like a cooking platform but she doesn't like this whole youtube thing

so she starts a blog

but let's get back to the actual point of this

nina and luna are friends

so are luna and matteo

(jk they're in the pining stage)

but anyway matteo and gastón are the brotp of youtube

they invented bro jokes

“bro you're the light of my life”

“bro”

(honestly they confess their love for each other every two seconds)

but anyway

luna convinces matteo to ask gastón to collab with nina

because it's painfully obvious that she has a crush on him

but she's also too shy to do it herself

gastón is on board immediately

(not because he absolutely adores her nooooo)

he just really likes her videos ok??

but then they sit down and boi sparks fly

the fandom loves it

honestly they're so cute together

nina just glances at gastón for expended periods of time and when he turns to look at her she turns away

coincidentally gastón does the exact same thing

the fandom wants death

(and so do i)

they're both 100% convinced the other doesn't have a crush on them and suffer in silence

(aka they pour their heart out to luna and matteo, respectively)

(those two are facepalming so hard)

(it takes a shitload of inspirational and encouraging speeches to convince those two idiots of the opposite)

so after this crap has been going on for a while gastón doesn't look away

and nina's heart speeds up because holy shit he's looking at her

(and even though they have filmed quite a few videos together by now she still totally has a crush and now it's even stronger than before)

but noooo of course they still don't kiss

time for more suffering

gastón is so sure that nina doesn't like him like that by now

matteo wants to scream

luna too really

they are this close to fucking collabing and just screaming for 3 hours and dedicating this to gastón and nina

but then they think of something better

because they know there are multiple bets going on about when those two will finally kiss

they betted too

and they aren't about to lose

but they also can't just straight-up tell them

because that would be cheating

so they make sure gastón and nina are in the same room and walk by talking about how in love with each other they obviously are

nina and gastón are both shook

because there's no way he said that

(nope kiddo he definitely compared your eyes to stars once)

(and your entire existence to the best thing to happen since sliced bread)

(matteo was jealous)

nina isn't sure whether that's a compliment or not

but also gastón

he's just starstruck

it takes him about 0.2 seconds to put everything together

and about five minutes to actually move

he turns to nina

and looks her in the eyes

and all that sappy “is it true” “mmhh” shit ensues and then they finally kiss

when they come out of the room luna and matteo are already cashing in their winnings

but what they did not expect was gastón and nina making it their personal mission to make their life a living hell

(and with that i mean trying to get them to kiss)

because if the gastón/nina relationship was slow burn

then what the fuck are luna and matteo

gastón and nina manage to convince them to film a video with them

two videos rather

“boyfriend vs. best friend”

“girlfriend vs. best friend”

everything is well

until they lock them in a room

(really they're stunned they managed to do it too)

they are hoping for them to finally kiss

(sweet hopeful children)

but no

those two oblivious idiots go the entire time without even touching that subject

gastón sits matteo down and asks him if he likes luna

“of course i do, we're friends”

he knows exactly what gastón meant but honestly he deserves it

he locked him in a room (not a closet at least) for several hours

a bit of playing oblivious is definitely well-deserved

luna actually is oblivious

“what do you mean? nina we've been friends for over a year now of course i like him”

now nina isn't on the overdramatic side of life but god

but because those two just have it one day

nina tells luna gastón told her matteo is moving again

she knows that will suffice in getting luna to admit her feelings

it may be a teeny tiny bit mean but jfc she can't anymore

and it works

much to their dismay nina and gastón aren't actually there when it happens

but luna and matteo come back smiling and holding hands

gastón sneakily films everything

(for future blackmail material obvs not because he finds them incredibly freaking cute and high key loves them both)

and while luna may have forgotten what it took to get to this point

matteo. has. not.

but like the true slytherin he is at heart

he thinks

and then realizes he's actually kinda grateful

so when gastón gets a gift basket he's skeptical

until he reads the card

cue the bro jokes

meanwhile

ámbar and simón have a love/hate relationship with way too much sexual tension

honestly no one can tell when they're flirting at first because ????? what is happening???

they're just kind of ????

i can't even describe it honestly

but basically they're both sarcastic little shits

this can go for hours

and no one is sure whether they don't actually hate each other

because boi does it seem like that at some times

but they're actually quite close

and with that i mean really fucking close and simón is one of the 3 people that have ever seen her crying

but they don't really show that side of their relationship/friendship/whatever this is on camera

so mostly the fandom thinks they should steer clear of each other

and they mostly do for videos

because boi do they not wanna deal with idiotic shitheads

so they just hang out off camera

and on camera they spew sarcastic insults at each other

so naturally the fandom thinks they're definitely dating

(or at least a good part of it)

(fandoms are weird don't ask me)

and then one day you can see ámbar just chilling in the corner while the rollerband is practicing in one of nico's vlogs

the fandom completely loses it

but they ignore it

because honestly its no one's business but theirs

and they aren't about to change that

and they're both creatures of habit

so not much really changes

until

simón is doing a livestream one day

and ámbar is at his flat

she is rummaging through the kitchen and cannot find the nutella jar

and she really really really wants to eat nutella right now

“where the fuck is your nutella?”

“babe it's in the right cupboard you know that”

she does

she just forgot

she's had a really hard day, ok?

but the chat is losing it

he just called her babe and she's at his flat in the first place

HOLY SHIT

they still don't make a proper video

they just couldn't care less

she just appears in more livestreams

u can see her in the background scrambling to the couch and falling down face-first on it

and maybe they might even be seen holding hands in another one of nico's vlogs

honestly their 'official announcement' is a lot less official and big than most people expected

they just allow nico to not cut out a snippet of them kissing

that's when the fandom really loses it

their otp is beautiful and it's real

delfi and pedro are just The Parents of the group

always there to give good advice and disgustingly sweet

no one even knows how they met

they have just been dating for sooo long no one bothered to remember

(except for delfi and pedro and that's their lil secret)

but anyway they're so good holy shit

they're so supportive of each other and god i could keep going for hours

honestly there's not much drama with them at all

not with ramiro and jim and yam

surprisingly enough their lives are actually pretty drama-free

not their fandom tho

they invented ship wars

honestly their fans keep attacking each other

and making a lot of 'proof' videos

(jim totally watches those when she's sad and needs a reminder people love her)

but our three heroes are just so fucking done

it's not like they don't leave hints

and obvious ones at that

but nooooo

the fandom consists of dipshits

so they're like “ok fuck this”

(btw people only know jim and yam live together)

ramiro uploads a video one day and keeps in a little clip where he just woke up

only he's lying in yam's bed

but still

people are saying things like “HE STAYED OVER AND IN YAM'S BED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT US TO KNOW HE'S DATING JIM”

jesus honestly

(joke's on them, he fucking lives there as well but this was the only thing they could think of)

then yam uploads a pic on instagram

it's a giiiiaaant bouquet of flowers

coincidentally it's also jim's birthday

she captions it 'for my girl'

ok that worked to freak out the jim/yam fans

not so much everyone else

“MY GIRL AS IN MY BEST FRIEND U IDIOTS”

honestly they want death at this point

nico is commissioned to put up a vlog where ramiro and yam hold hands

“THEY'RE JUST HOLDING HANDS PLATONICALLY”

THEY. ARE. DONE.

on this faithful sunday a video called “yes we are dating” is updated to each of their channels

it's just clips and pics of them kissing and holding hands and being domestic

this is also the day people realize ramiro lived with them all along

(and that they were wrong as hell. all of them.)

it fills ramiro jim and yam with intense satisfaction to see everyone freaking out

cue ámbar's horrified screams when people start shipping simón and her with nico

[jarienn972]

Mirrored - Chapter Five

I am so sorry to anyone who was following this story!  It was my first fan fic story for this fandom and being a Tumblr newbie, I thought I had the remaining chapters queued correctly, but oops - I found out they never posted.  I reblogged chapter one with links to Chapters 2-4 for anyone who wants to get caught up but here is Chapter 5.  There will be 8 total and I will get them up on the site by the end of the week.

Complete story on FF.net and AO3.

From the beginning on Tumblr: Chapter One  Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four

After nearly twenty agonizing minutes, Whale finally emerged from Killian's room. Neither Snow nor David could get a read on his expression as he approached them. Behind him, they could see one of the nurses reopening the curtain but from the angle where they were standing, they weren't able to see inside.

"Well?" David asked impatiently.

"We were able to get him stabilized," Whale replied. "I've given him an anti-convulsive medication that will help control the seizures and we were able to get his fever down to under 102 degrees. It's still higher than I'd like to see, but at least it's in a safer range."

"Oh thank goodness," Snow breathed a sigh of relief.

"Let's not get too excited," Whale continued. "We still don't know how much time this bought us. If someone doesn't come up with the antidote pretty soon, we may be just prolonging the inevitable."

"You don't know Killian the way we do. He's going to fight this with everything he's got," Snow stated, if for nothing else than to make herself feel better.

"I surely hope that you're right," Whale said, "because he's still got one heck of a fight ahead of him. I did increase the sedatives so he's back into a deep sleep again, but he was having such a difficult time breathing that I had to make the decision to put him on a ventilator. If you're not familiar with that machine, it basically is one that breathes for him by way of a tube placed down into his windpipe. I wanted to warn you because it might be a little disconcerting, but there really wasn't another option."

"Thank you," Snow told him, now really unsure of what to expect. "Are we able to go back in to see him now?"

Whale nodded. "I'll check on him periodically throughout the night. Let me know as soon as you see or hear from Emma though. I'm going to need to speak to her."

"We will," David assured him as Whale left them, heading off down another corridor. He had a very good idea of what Whale needed to discuss with Emma, but he tried not to think about it as he again wrapped his arm around Snow, pulling her in tight to him. "It's going to be alright," he said. "I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I trust Regina. She's going to find the right flower to make the antidote."

"For Emma and Killian's sake, I sure hope so," Snow said as they stepped back up to the glass wall and peered into the room before stepping inside. Even with Whale's warning, Snow gasped a little at the sight before them. The doctor had not been exaggerating when he'd said that the sight of Killian being aided by the ventilator would be troubling, but it wasn't just that. The whole scene disturbed her. Neither of them said a word as they stepped through the doorway, not because they feared waking him but rather out of pure shock.

Finding the reality of the plastic tube extending from the corner of his mouth and connecting to multiple other intimidating looking tubing and hoses a bit much to take in, Snow found herself unable to even look at Killian's face, instead noting the minor details. A small square gauze bandage had been taped to his chest, covering the puncture wound Whale's syringe had inflicted when injecting the anti-convulsive drug. The back of his hand was also bandaged as it had bled when the IV needle was torn loose. A new IV was taped securely in place to the inside of his wrist, directly over the old tattoo of Milah's name.

"It's after one AM," David began, sensing her tension. "I'm wide awake now. I'll stay until Emma gets back. Why don't you head home and get some sleep?"

"I feel like I should stay though. What if Emma needs me?"

"Then I will call you," he assured her. "Go home. Try to sleep. I promise to let you know if anything changes."

"Alright," she sighed, giving him a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. "Please let me know when you talk to Emma. I don't care what time it is."

"I promise," he replied, not sure exactly how long that might be. He'd hoped that she would have at least sent a text message by now. Clearly she was fixated on finding this rouge pirate, but with each minute that went by, he became more concerned.

***************************************

This time, Killian knew where he was before he was even able to open his eyes. The welcoming scent of the marine air embraced him like an old friend; the sound of waves striking the dock and sails flapping in the breeze were like music to this pirate's ears.

"All hands on deck, Pirate!"

There was that sweet little voice again, he thought as he opened his eyes to find himself standing on the deck of the Jolly Roger.

"Is that any way to talk to the Captain of this vessel?" he smiled, seeing only the very top of a blonde head and two tiny hands above the helm. Laughing as he ascended the steps to the navigation deck, he saw Maeve poised on her tiptoes trying to maneuver the huge wheel. Thankfully, they were still moored in the harbor or who knows where they'd be now.

"You told me that a proper pirate princess should know how to captain her own ship," she stated firmly.

"And so she shall," he replied, sliding a storage trunk across the deck for her to stand on. He hoisted her up atop the trunk and guided her hands to the proper position on the helm. "Tell me where we're navigating to today, Captain?"

"The Enchanted Forest."

"Then off we shall go. Twenty degrees to starboard!"

Without any guidance from him, she turned the huge wheel clockwise. Child after his own heart. Part of him actually wanted to cast off the moorings, but not knowing exactly how things worked in this dream world, he felt it best to stay put in the harbor.

"Calm seas ahead," she giggled, turning to give him a huge hug that felt so real that for a moment, he nearly forgot that he was only dreaming.

**************************************

Now after four AM, Emma had been all over town in search of Devereaux Sinclair, leaving her physically and emotionally exhausted. She'd give the pirate credit – she knew how to hide, but if she really wanted to trade the mirror for the antidote, being evasive didn't make much sense. It was almost as though this were just a part of some sick game that Emma really didn't want to play. Whatever history Devereaux and Killian had, it was pretty evident that they hadn't ended things on good terms – at least not from Devereaux's perspective. Killian didn't appear to be bothered by whatever was implied, possibly having forgiven her enough to let her go earlier. Devereaux was another story. Maybe she was just a sociopathic crazed lunatic. No matter what, Emma was determined to get answers out of her and hopefully, the antidote too, - assuming Devereaux even really had it and this wasn't just another ploy in her game.

But nagging in the back of Emma's head was a lingering bit of guilt. If she hadn't been engaged in such a long meeting with Regina discussing that stupid compact, she would have already been back at her office before Devereaux broke in. It would have been a very different confrontation had she been there. The pain in the ass pirate would already be behind bars and Killian wouldn't be fighting for his life in a hospital bed.

Of course, she knew that second guessing herself wasn't going to help them right now. Hindsight was always perfectly clear when the present and future were muddy. She had to focus so, as she sat in her car parked on the street in front of the Sheriff's station, she reminded herself of the task at hand. It was at that moment that she felt the weight of Killian's hook, still tucked securely inside her jacket as she'd wanted to keep part of him close to her heart. She lifted it from her pocket and held it lovingly in her palm for a few seconds, long enough for a tear to escape the corner of her eye and drift down her cheek. Only a few hours ago, they'd been happily strolling arm in arm along the waterfront and then Devereaux Sinclair and her damned mirror crossed their path…

The mirror.

Why hadn't she thought of this before now? With a flash of realization, Emma placed the hook on the seat next to her as she dug into a different pocket to locate the compact. It had shown her a vision earlier, and if Regina was to be believed and this compact really could function as a crystal ball, perhaps she could get it to give her some clue as to where Sinclair was hiding.

"Wonder how you get this crazy thing to work?" she asked herself as she pressed the button to open the compact. Seeing her own reflection – bloodshot eyes and weary, gaunt face - all she was seeing was her own face. "Come on," she pleaded with it. "You showed me something before. Do it again."

She nearly regretted asking for the object's help as the first fuzzy image came to life in the bottom mirror because what it showed her was a view of Killian laying deathly still in the hospital bed with her mother seated by his side. It reacts to emotion, she thought. She'd been sad when she picked it up and worrying about Killian, so it gave her an image of him. She needed to change emotion and think about what Devereaux made her feel.

Anger.

Anger and frustration.

Channeling those emotions, the image in the bottom mirror began to change. The shadow of a female form came into view, at first only a dark profile. Emma needed more though. She needed something to identify where Devereaux might be and as the scene played out on the tiny mirror before her, a familiar setting was displayed in the background.

Her office.

Devereaux had apparently been interrupted early in her search when Killian found her and she had returned to continue her search for the mirror, apparently (and incorrectly) assuming that Emma would be entirely preoccupied with him. But how recent was this image? This may have been from earlier in the evening and there was a good possibility that she was long gone – a possibility that vanished as Emma spied a flash of light that flickered between the blinds on the station's front window.

A flashlight – and in the misty image displayed on the mirror, Devereaux was holding a flashlight.

She was still inside.

Emma snapped the compact closed as she pushed open the door of her little VW bug and stepped out into the street. Time to show this little pirate wench that you don't mess with the sheriff or her family in this town. She stormed up to the front door and – taking a page from Regina's playbook – blasted it open with magic. No use being subtle, Emma thought to herself as the door flew off the hinges. She didn't care if it had to be repaired later.

She wanted to make an ENTRANCE.

"I know you're here, pirate," Emma shouted, "and you can quit searching. You won't find your mirror in my office or anywhere else in this station because its right here in my hand!"

"That was quite a display," Devereaux replied as her head lifted above Emma's desk and into view through the glass partition. "I may have underestimated you, Sheriff. You have me at a bit of a disadvantage as I'm not a practitioner of magic."

"Step out of my office and give me the antidote."

"Hand over my mirror and we'll negotiate."

"This isn't up for negotiation," Emma stated as she waved her hand to close and lock the side door to her office, leaving Devereaux with only one path out. "Where's the widowsbane antidote?"

"Yeah…that…," Devereaux laughed, stepping through the door frame with an almost sadistic smile on her lips. "I kinda left it back on my ship."

"Then let's take a little trip out to your ship so you can get it."

"You think it's that easy?" Devereaux grinned. "Unless you happen to know of a portal back to the Enchanted Forest, it won't be an easy jaunt."

"I thought you told Killian that you arrived here by your ship being blown off course in a storm?"

"Not exactly. I got here through a portal after stealing a few magic beans from a sorcerer so that I could find a way back to the Jolly Roger."

"Why were you searching for the Jolly Roger?" Emma wondered.

"Because it's the last place I saw an object I've been hunting for a very long time. I'm sure by now you've opened the compact and since you obviously have magic, you know what it is."

"A looking glass."

"Exactly! A looking glass that came straight from the shores of Wonderland, but it was missing its handle. The last place I saw what I believed was the handle before the Queen's curse struck was aboard the Jolly Roger. Hook blocked me from taking it years ago and I've been searching the realms for it ever since. Little did I know that it had been brought to this strange new land."

"It's what you were after in the safe this afternoon, wasn't it?"

"Aye, and it's what I went back to search for again after our encounter here in your office. Damned if I could figure out how to open that safe though. I'll give him credit for that one…"

"Encounter? That's what you're calling it? You poisoned him!" Emma patience had waned and her face flushed crimson with anger.

"It really wasn't personal. I needed a diversion and it was a perfect one to keep him off of the ship, and of course I thought it would keep you busy, pining at his side. As I said, I may have underestimated you."

"You honestly thought that poisoning him with a deadly toxin was just a tactical diversion?!" Emma had had just about enough of Devereaux's cold, smug attitude.

"Just business," Devereaux responded nonchalantly. "Yours is upholding the law, mine is breaking it." She held up a tiny glass vial that appeared to contain the same purple dust that had been all over both Killian's skin and clothing as well as Emma's office earlier. "Now, I'd like my mirror back, if you please or I'll throw this. Think your magic is fast enough to stop a cloud of toxic dust from spreading?"

"Yeah, I do," Emma replied and with a quick wave of her hand, the vial vanished from Devereaux's palm and rematerialized in Emma's possession. "And now I'm done dealing with you."

Emma tapped into her rage and frustration, flinging Devereaux into the wall then quickly got a magical grip around the pirate's throat, dragging her out of the office without ever actually laying a finger on her.

"What are you going to do – kill me?" Devereaux asked when Emma loosened her grip around her neck. "Go ahead. I know your type. You can't do it…"

"I have no intention of killing you. You're not getting off that easy." Emma waved her hand again to cause the iron barred door of the holding cell to swing open, then with one more flourish, tossed Devereaux across the room and into the cell. The pirate slammed hard into the concrete block wall, then slid slowly down to the bare concrete floor as the door slammed shut before her.

"You can tell Captain Hook I said goodbye," Devereaux spat. "Because unless he knows where the handle is, he'll never get the antidote."

"And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"With the handle attached, supposedly the looking glass gains the ability to open portals. It might be the only way to get to the antidote on my ship because you won't get it any other way."

"Guess it's a good thing that Regina is already working on a batch of the antidote then."

"Regina? The Evil Queen? If she told you that she can make the antidote here then she lied to you. There isn't a way to make the antidote here because the flower needed to brew it doesn't grow in this land." As Devereaux began to laugh over the realization that Emma had actually believed the Evil Queen's words, Emma threw her one more time, slamming her into the cell's tiny, bare cot.

"I'll be back to deal with you later, Sinclair. And just so you don't get any ideas about trying to break out…," Emma sealed the cell lock with her magic so the pirate wouldn't have any dreams of picking it. She then backed away, leaving the station with its door still laying on the floor. No one else would be crazy enough to break into a Sheriff's station anyway.

Right now, she needed to calm herself. She was angry that Regina had lied about the antidote and now that she'd learned that Devereaux didn't have it either, she was scared. Climbing back into her car, her eyes were immediately drawn to the shiny steel of Killian's hook as it reflected the street light above her. She had every right to be upset and Regina had a lot of explaining to do but right now, all she could think of was that she needed to be at his side – no matter what the outcome may be.

***************************************

Hours into their research, the mountains of books had now spilled off of the library table into the floor and as dawn approached, Regina was growing increasingly frustrated. There had to be something. She refused to believe that with all of the flowers and plants in this land, there wouldn't be one that was related to a thimble flower. So far though, while she had found numerous references to thimble flowers, nothing mentioned anything outside of the Enchanted Forest.

"All of this is really beginning to make me hate flowers," Regina stated, slamming the cover of the book in front of her closed.

"Regina, please – many of these books are delicate. Could you please show them a little respect?" Belle's concern was genuine, but right now, Regina was really to tired to care.

"Are we looking in the right place?" Regina wondered.

"We are. There just aren't a lot of books that cover multiple realms, but I found this old journal that might be useful." Belle strolled over to the library table and showed Regina an ancient, sheepskin bound personal journal with a battered cover and pages that were brittle and yellowed. "It's the personal notes of an alchemist who used portals to travel through many different realms collecting flowers, plants and other items for his experiments and potions."

Regina's interest was piqued.

"Any mention of thimble flowers?"

"Not yet, but I'm only a few pages in. Its actually quite fascinating."

"Fascinating is wonderful. Relevant would be better." Sarcasm was flowing freely now as Regina was growing more weary and fatigued. "Let me know if you find anything useful."

Regina grabbed the next book from the stack and turned her attention toward it. Time was running short and so was her patience. She was ready to turn a toad into a thimble flower, but she knew it wouldn't work. Hell, she was ready to turn Devereaux Sinclair into a toad – and maybe she would after Emma got done with her. Maybe something lower than a toad? A cockroach perhaps so she could savor the satisfying squish under her heel?

But first she had to find something to make the antidote or things were going to get really challenging in this town. The last place she wanted to find herself was standing directly in front of a pissed off Emma Swan.

[niigoki]

STEVEN UNIVERSE Title: Never Knows Best - Chapter 27 Rated: M Link to Ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7848907/chapters/21473687 Link to FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12115868/27/Never-Knows-Best

The night came fast. After walking around town for a bit longer and having a quick dinner, everyone returned to their respective rooms without exchanging many words. The group was pretty much divided into strangers who knew each other through other people, so conversation was reserved to mainly Amethyst, Peridot and Lapis. As soon as they bid each other goodnight, – but not before Ame’s obvious “don’t be too loud or I’ll kick your ass” joke towards the two girlfriends – they walked into their rooms.

The room was warm and cozy to compensate for the chilling air of the night outside, and Peri fell on the bed and wrapped herself up in the blanket right after Lapis closed the door. Turning around, Lapis halted at the cute sight of her girlfriend, who now looked like a burrito. “Cold much?”

“A little bit,” Peri yawned. “I’m also really tired from the trip.”

“Aww, that’s a shame…” Lapis made her way to the bed slowly. “I was really hoping to annoy Amethyst.”

“Huh?” It took a moment for Peri to get what she meant, and even after thinking a lot, she didn’t quite understand it. Her head was already usually fuzzy, but it got ten times worse when she was sleepy. Blushing, she finally asked. “Annoy her with… what?”

Lapis giggled, not fazed in the least, and lay down next to her. “She did tell us not to be loud.”

“Oh. Ohhh,” For some reason her heart shot up to the skies and Peri buried herself even more inside her blanket. “That.”

Not bearing to look at Peridot being this adorable without touching her, Lapis wrapped one arm around her tiny frame, bringing her body impossibly close and burying her nose on the crook of the girl’s neck. “I’m kidding. I know you’re tired, we should rest.”

Lapis’ whisper near her ear made Peridot melt, and she turned around to face her, untangling herself from the blanket. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.” Lapis’ eyes were so close and they shone so brightly. “Just being here with you like this is… like a dream come true, honestly.” As soon as she said that, she blushed. “Wow, way to be a sap.”

“Hey, I’m the sap queen.” Peri murmured with a smile. “You can’t beat my sap.”

They both chuckled and stood frozen in time, staring at each other without a care in the world. For a second, everything wrong seemed to have vanished; Lapis’ anxiety regarding meeting her mother tomorrow, Peridot’s fear of the unknown, their worries and anguishes. At that moment, it was just the two of them, staring at the infinite.

“Like a galaxy…” Peri couldn’t stop herself, but Lapis was already used to the random words that left her mouth.

“Yeah?”

“Y-yeah,” Peridot swallowed, forcing herself to remember that this was Lapis, and that she didn’t mind her weirdness. “Your face. Your eyes always seem to shine and your… freckles look like the Milky Way. Sometimes I swear I can see shooting stars in them.”

Lapis’ heart was beating so fast already; there were no words that could possibly compete with the poetry that simply flowed out of the woman in her arms. So she said the first dumb thing that came to mind. “You should make a wish.”

Peridot’s memory flashed back to the first day she saw Lapis in the junkyard, where she mumbled the exact same nonsense to Amethyst. At that time, Lapis had briefly exposed her silhouette to Peri with her lighter, but she had vanished as quickly as she’d come. Peridot had called her a shooting star then, and it warmed her heart to realize that Lapis now was more than a rare beauty in the blink of an eye.

She was real, and she was there.

“You should make a wish.” Amethyst teased.

“I already did,” And then Peridot leaned forward, capturing the woman’s lips with her own. The kiss, unlike a shooting star, was long, and would last for as long as she wanted. A thousand wishes were made against those lips, and a thousand more popped up in Peri’s mind as soon as she was finished thinking about all the things she loved about Lapis. It didn’t matter what happened; Peri knew that this girl deserved a world of happiness. She swore she would try to make that a reality.

Lapis’ hands started to roam through Peri’s sides, and it was then that the bartender had an idea.

“Wait,” She broke the kiss, a little breathless. “Let’s take a shower.”

Lapis blinked, but then smiled, leaning in to give her another brief kiss. “I like this idea.”

At least this way the water would muffle the sounds.

--

“Man, that shower is a blessing!” Bismuth’s happy face came out of the bathroom and Jasper let out a snicker.

“You say that about every shower that comes with hot water.”

“Exactly! Training camp made me truly admire the little things.” Then she plopped down on the bed next to Jasper, who was flicking through the channels without paying much attention. Bismuth stared at her friend’s muscular back for a bit before speaking. “Say… how are you doing?”

Jasper finally found something decent and put the remote away. She looked down at her tattooed arm and sighed. “Scared.”

“Never thought I’d see that,” Bis smiled softly. “Big-ass Jasper, afraid.”

“My size doesn’t matter, Bis.” She pushed herself back on the bed and settled against the headboard. “It’s an emotional thing.”

“Right…” Bismuth mimicked her pose and looked down to her hands. “You know, I came all the way here to be supportive, but I still have no idea what is happening. I mean, I get that it’s a family thing, but…”

Oh. That’s right.

Jasper never told Bismuth a single thing about her past.

And she had a good reason not to, of course. Just like Lapis, she was afraid of pushing people away with her burdens, so bottling things up inside was for the best. But now that she had involved Bismuth in this whole mess, Jasper felt terrible for not even bothering to explain the basics. She was truly grateful that her best friend had decided to help her, no questions asked. It was just like Bismuth, to do something dumb for the sake of her team.

No. For the sake of Jasper.

“…I’m sorry, Bis.” Jasper looked at her with a guilty expression. “You came to help, and I did nothing but shut myself off. I’ll…” Taking a deep breath, she nodded to herself. “I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything.”

Bismuth smiled, and put a hand on Jasper’s shoulder. “I’ll be here for you, Jazz. Always.”

Jasper returned the grin. “Thanks. You should make yourself comfortable. It’s kind of a long story.”

--

“And then the guy wouldn’t stop calling me for three whole weeks! That’s when I decided to never give my phone number to anyone ever again, doesn’t matter how lovely the night was.” Amethyst finished her story as she rested against the headboard in the bed, earning a laugh from Pearl.

The TV was on, but on the lowest volume – there was nothing good on and Amethyst just liked to have some sort of sound around when she talked to potential crushes. It helped distracting both her and the person in question from awkward silences. Pearl was sitting next to her with her pajamas on after taking a shower and listened to her story with her eyes glued on the screen,

“I suppose that is a smart move.” Pearl nodded. “Although I don’t think I can flat out refuse someone when they ask for my number.”

“You just need to be polite,” Ame reached for a glass of water in the nightstand. “It’s way harder with guys than girls, though. Well, in my experience at least.”

“Oh, with men I can manage.”

The conversation, which had previously started as an ice breaker about the weather and the town, had at some point shifted to dates and past relationship experiences. Amethyst cheered internally, because this opened the opportunity to ask her boss a little bit more about her private life without it sounding weird or flirtatious. Not that Amethyst wasn’t trying to flirt.

She was just not managing to flirt correctly with Pearl for some goddamn reason.

“So I suppose you’re just interested in the ladies.” Ame tried.

“Oh, definitely.” Pearl’s answer didn’t miss a beat. “Not that I should be interested in men, either. Being a nun, and all.”

Ame snorted at this. “I’m sorry, I just— the nun thing I just so funny to me.”

“I get why.” Pearl looked up, reminiscing. “I’m really glad I didn’t go down that path. N-not that there’s anything wrong with nuns.”

“I get it,” Ame shrugged. “Just wasn’t your lifestyle.”

“Exactly.”

A quick pause followed as both of them stared at the TV in a comfortable silence, and then Amethyst spoke again.

“So… any awkward relationship story you wanna share?”

“Oh… w-well…” Pearl’s stutter was really cute. “I suppose we all have those.”

“So you do have one.” Amethyst smirked, leaning in.

“Just one,” The artist shifted on her seat. “It was so bad that no other beat it, though.”

“Damn. Um, you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s…” Pearl looked over to her phone resting next to her leg and breathed in. “It’s alright. It was a long time ago.”

Ame felt like this conversation could really use some beers, but she didn’t know where the closest convenience store was. So she just nodded and paid attention.

“Well… this will probably sound obvious, since I’ve done nothing but talk about her, but... I more than simply admired Rose. I was genuinely in love with her.”

Oh.

Of course.

“At first I thought it was simply teenage admiration over this older woman. She was on her twenties and I was barely fifteen when she found me crying. After that day we started talking more and more, and I felt… things for the first time. I just wanted to be next to her all the time and make her laugh, you know, typical teenage behavior towards a crush. Then time went by and we were both adults, and the feeling just wouldn’t go away. It was actually stronger than ever.”

Amethyst looked back to the TV, still listening.

“Garnet knew what it was, of course. She’d been there, done that. I was just in a long period of denial.” With a small sigh, Pearl turned to her with a grin. “As you know, it didn’t really amount to anything. Rose met Greg and they fell in love, and that was that.”

Amethyst bit her lip, choosing carefully her words. “Did you… resent Greg for that?”

“Oh, absolutely!” Pearl didn’t miss a beat. “I was extremely jealous. How dare this… stranger come in between us? He didn’t know anything about Rose, and I knew everything.” Then she chuckled. “That’s what I thought at the time. Like I deserved to be the one, you know? We’d been through so much together, so why wasn’t she in love with me too? It took me a long time to realize that Rose didn’t… own me anything. She was free to fall for anyone at any time, and I had to accept that it wasn’t me. Garnet helped me see that, too.”

That really struck Amethyst, and she quietly nodded, lost in her own thoughts. Ame really cherished her freedom above anything else, and that was one of the reasons why commitment scared her to no end. She loved being able to kiss whoever she wanted and sleep with whoever she wanted, without having to give explanations or get nervous about things. She liked it simple, and she wanted to have fun.

So Pearl’s words were confusing to her at first, even though they shouldn’t be. Amethyst had never experienced true love before, so the idea of being jealous of someone because they stole the love of her life was ridiculous in her head. She always thought that if one day she fell for someone, that person had every right to not love her back, and she was okay with that. Amethyst didn’t think it would hurt that much, and she’d be able to move on easily.

But now she understood that it probably hurt a lot more than she realized.

“You know…” Amethyst said. “I never fell in love.”

“…What?”

“Yeah, weird, huh?”

“But… didn’t you say you love people?” Pearl frowned.

“I do love people. I love kissing and I love sex, and sometimes cuddling is okay. But I was never in love with anyone.” She picked the mattress, distractingly. “I forced myself to go on a blind date and try to have a girlfriend for once, to see if I could fix this part of me. That’s actually how I met Peridot.”

“Oh, you two dated?”

“Yeah, it didn’t last. But it was one of the best experiences of my life, because it got me a best friend and roommate. I can say for sure that I love Peridot more than my average friends, but I can also say that I was never in love with her. Not like Lapis, or like you and Rose.” Ame sighed. “So when people tell me love stories, I get a little lost. I mean, I understand the concept and all, but I can’t… feel it. I don’t know what that’s like.”

They stood in silence once again and stared as the TV program ended and the commercials played in a loop. Then Amethyst felt a warm, soft hand on top of hers, and flinched, looking at Pearl.

“That’s not something you need to fix,” The artist’s smile was soft and full of emotion. “Give it time, and just… do what you always do. Go with the flow.”

Ame’s heart started beating fast when she realized their proximity and for a second her eyes flickered towards her boss’ lips. “Can I be painfully honest with you right now?”

“Of course.”

“You’re really pretty and I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while,” She swallowed hard. “And I totally would have by now if you weren’t my boss, but I don’t want to get fired so I restrained myself, does that even make sense? I mean, I totally get it if you think we should keep things strictly professional between us, I just wanted to let you know that someone out there really admires your passion and your attitude and your hair – I really love your hair and tattoos, by the way, they’re on point – because you work so hard to accomplish things, which is so amazing, and I just—”

“You’re rambling.”

“Yes I am,” Amethyst caught her breath. “I swear I’m much smoother than this. You do things to me.”

Pearl’s expression was unreadable for a few seconds, then she broke into a laughing fit, bending over to touch her forehead on Amethyst’s shoulder – who laughed nervously in return. When the laughter subdued, Pearl straightened her back and looked at her with teary eyes; Ame didn’t know if they were because of happiness or something else. “You’re quite amazing yourself.”

“I am?”

“You are,” She wiped a small tear from her eye. “We’re already sharing a bed, I think we can throw ‘strictly professional’ out of the window.” Pearl’s eyes had a mischievous glint to them, but she was actually really nervous.

“I mean, when you put it like that.”

Pearl’s eyes searched for something in Amethyst that she didn’t really know what it was. “Are you sure you never fell in love?”

“Positive. Why?”

“You’re not really acting like it right now.”

“It’s a crush, that’s different.”

“So you have a crush on me?”

“I—” Ame blushed. That was the worst flirting she had ever attempted in her life. “Yes.”

Taking a deep breath, it was Pearl’s turn to blush. “So you want to kiss me?”

“Yes.”

“Right now?”

“I guess?” Ame frowned at herself. “Okay, usually there are not that many questions, so I’m kind of lost.”

Pearl giggled and bit her lower lip. She didn’t want to disappoint, but this was all so sudden that she was a bit taken aback by the whole confession. “I… could I think about it?”

Ame immediately nodded. “Of course! Don’t feel pressured, or anything. I completely understand if you don’t want to.”

Feeling relieved, Pearl nodded and yawned, the day finally taking a toll on her body.

“We should sleep. I need to mentally prepare myself for the trip back,” Ame said, already tucking herself in. Pearl agreed and turned off the TV, settling by Ame’s side. It was comforting knowing that someone was nearby, Pearl thought, and turned off the lights.

Before drifting off, Ame felt Pearl poking her shoulder, and turned around to face her. “Yeah?”

“Thank you for admiring me.”

Ame smiled, her heart doing that thing again, and she just scooted closer.

--

It was nearly 4:00am when Peridot woke up. She’d just had a nightmare about a huge witch who had gobbled her up, so her chest was pretty heavy as she huffed. When she tried to move, she felt Lapis’ arms and legs tangled around her body and calmed down considerably at the touch. Peri didn’t want to wake her up, but the darkness of the room was making her nervous, so she placed a gentle kiss on Lapis’ forehead before moving carefully away from her grasp.

Peri crouched and touched the floor looking for her shirt and shorts – which had been tossed aside before… certain activities – and finally found them on the right corner. She put them on and opened the balcony window, stepping outside for a bit of fresh air.

The moon illuminated the night sky and she leaned forward on her elbows to appreciate the view. There wasn’t much to see from the balcony of that particular room, but Peridot still smiled at the thought that she was in a different city. She took a deep breath, and even the air tasted differently somehow. Today was the day Lapis would face her worst nightmare, and Peri wondered if she should prepare an encouraging speech or something, for both Lapis and Jasper. She wanted to help somehow, but at the same time she knew that this was too complicated to work out with simple words.

A sound made her turn her head to the balcony on the left and she was surprised to see Jasper walk out of her room with a lighter and a cigarette in hands. The athlete halted when she saw her. “Oh, hey.”

“H-hi,” Peri replied. It was the first time she was alone with Lapis’ sister – adoptive sister? – and she didn’t really know what to say. So she asked the first thing in her mind. “Are you… okay?”

“Been hearing that question a lot, lately.” Jasper mumbled as she took a drag of her now lit cigarette.

“Oh, it’s j-just… it’s really late and all, so I thought…”

“I’m fine.” Jasper answered. “Are you?”

“U-um,” The whole situation was making her tense, but she forced herself to calm down; that was Lapis’ sister, someone who was going through the same things her girlfriend was. There was nothing dangerous about Jasper. She was just intimidating. “I had a nightmare, actually.”

“You had a nightmare?” Jasper almost laughed. “Out of anyone, I thought I’d hear these words coming from Lapis, honestly.”

“Oh, no, she’s sleeping well!”

Jasper hummed at the answer and brought the cigarette back to her lips. “That’s good.” She took a drag and exhaled. “Is she talking in her sleep?”

“Huh? Not really. I mean, I didn’t hear anything.”

“Gritting her teeth?”

“N-not at all.”

“Frowning, or grunting?”

Once again Peridot shook her head, negatively.

“Then she’s sleeping just fine.”

Oh, that’s right. Jasper used to share a bed with Lapis; she probably knew all of her quirks and habits. Peridot wondered if she missed that.

“Did she… have many nightmares?” Peridot ventured, wanting to know a bit more about her girlfriend.

“All the time,” Jasper looked up at the moon, reminiscing a few things. “She used to grab whatever was within reach and wouldn’t let go until morning. She’s stupidly strong, that girl.”

“She is pretty muscular…” Peridot mumbled and quickly covered her mouth. “I m-meant no disrespect by it!”

Jasper raised an eyebrow at the exaggerated reaction, and let out a heartfelt laugh. “You two are dating, you don’t need to be discreet about it.” Then she looked at the bartender from her head to her toes. “Besides, you’re wearing your pajamas inside out.”

Peri looked down and her immediate reaction was to cover herself for some reason. Jasper laughed again and took another drag. “I get why she likes you.”

“H-huh?”

“You’re genuine. I don’t really know you, but I doubt there’s a single drop of dishonesty in you.”

“W-well, I—” Peri was blushing at the awkwardness of the conversation, but Jasper seemed to be so at ease that she couldn’t help but to calm down because of it. “I can’t really lie to people. Whatever you see is the whole me. I mean, I think being honest with each other is what makes a relationship work out…”

“Yeah…” The athlete sighed. “Peridot, right?”

“Y-yes!”

“Lapis told you everything. About our past.”

“She did.”

“And you stuck around.”

“I wouldn’t leave her because of that.” Peri said with conviction. She might be nervous, but her feelings concerning Lapis were strong.

“Thank you.” Jasper finished her cigarette and Peri blinked, surprised at the words.

“You’re… thanking me?”

“I used to think I had to carry this by myself through my whole life. Lapis told some people about Malachite and all of them left after that. I couldn’t understand why she did it, but it kept happening.” She side-eyed her tattoo. “I wanted her to be happy, so I told her to keep her mouth shut about this. I never brought it up to anyone, and she shouldn’t either. But she didn’t listen, and kept getting hurt, over and over again. Until you came along.”

Peridot looked at Jasper’s blue flames and wondered why the athlete looked so disheartened by it.

“I see the way she looks at you and I’ve never seen her so… happy.” Then Jasper looked at Peridot again. “So thank you.”

Peri unconsciously analyzed Jasper, focusing on her expression and body language. The bartender had a terrible time understanding people, but was fascinated with how humans expressed themselves. If she could, she wanted to take a psychology course in the future to have a better understanding of people around her. Right now, Jasper seemed relaxed – shoulders down, sleepy expression, curved back, breathing slowly. She should’ve been terrified, afraid, scared of what tomorrow would bring, but none of that was showing – at least not that Peri could tell.

She realized that it was because she’d told her that Lapis was sleeping peacefully. That Lapis was happy dating Peridot. That Lapis wasn’t alone anymore.

As long as Lapis was fine, Jasper was fine too.

“You really love her, don’t you?” Peridot asked in a low voice.

Jasper didn’t answer for a while and stared down at the street. The silence was comforting, with a few crickets singing here and there, and the distant sound of occasional cars. “I do.”

“Have you told her that?”

“Drunkenly and in the worst possible way,” She scoffed. “She didn’t take it very well.”

Peri turned around and touched her back on the balcony, throwing her head back to look at the moon. Then she saw a shooting star and widened her eyes.

“You should make a wish.”

And so she did.

“Tell her again.”

“What?”

There was a fire in Peridot’s gaze when she turned to Jasper. “Before you talk to Malachite tomorrow, tell Lapis you love her. Truthfully.”

Jasper opened her mouth to retort, but closed it again at the intensity of the girl’s words. That shorty truly was something special. With a soft smile, Jasper turned around to walk back to her room. “Alright. Goodnight, Peridot.”

“Goodnight, Jasper.” Peri smiled back and mouthed a ‘thank you’ at the sky, before going back inside too.

[angelsanarchy]

Hi, I had a fic prompt of Lukas between hiding who he is/his relationship with Philip to be able to compete in pro motocross... obviously deciding not to because he hid their relationship for so long before. And of course he chooses Philip because he's his new dream? And he basically goes on to talk about how Philip makes him feel/how madly, truly, deeply in love he is with him..... I'm giving myself so many feels just suggesting it 💗💗

Okay this got away from me a bit so I’m sorry it’s a bit long. I hope you enjoy it!

Lukas kept ringing his hands out. It was his first competition back and he really needed to get sponsored today or he’d miss his shot.

“Just relax. You’re going to do great. You’ve worked your ass off to get better and your jumps have gotten even better than before you were shot.” Philip gripped Lukas’ hands and rubbed them between his own.

“I know I just…what if I don’t get a sponsor today? What if I carry too much baggage you know?” Lukas worried and Philip smiled at him.

“Witnessing a murder, getting kidnapped and shot are kind of out of your control. I don’t think anyone can really hold that against you.” Philip reminds him. Lukas ducks his head so he doesn’t see him smile.

“You’re going to take pictures right?” Lukas moved into his space and Philip held up his camera.

“Helen and Gabe got me a new one for my birthday. It takes pictures within a video so I’ll have both. I’ll try not to be the cheering boyfriend in the background.” Philip teased making Lukas laugh. He kissed Philip’s forehead and hugged him.

“Thanks for being here.” Lukas said but before Philip could respond, a loud banging on the door of the trailer made Lukas jump away from him.

“You’re up Waldenbeck. Let’s hit it.” Lukas grabbed his helmet and Philip followed him out of the trailer, camera in hand as he walked over towards the stands. Lukas was out…to Helen, Gabe, Rose and his dad but they’d decided that for now, it’s best it stays between just them. Rose had sort of adopted Philip into their friend group to make things less weird for everyone. Told their friends, Philip saved Lukas’ life so that kind of greased some wheels but Philip didn’t seem to care. He hadn’t cared what people thought of him, only what Lukas thought. 

Lukas jumped on his bike and looked focused on, less nervous and Philip looked for some good places to get some shots so he could post the race on Lukas’ channel afterwards. The starting siren went off and Lukas took off down the ramp to start on his first set of hills getting impressive air and doing his first set of tricks.

Lukas took off, gripping the bike tightly between his thighs focusing on nothing but the ground beneath him. Philip followed his bike careful not to shake the camera so much whispering encouragements between gritted teeth and remembering to take shots whenever he caught air or did an impressive maneuver with his feet leaving the bike.

“Come on Lukas. You got this!” Philip breathed hearing cheers growing louder behind him. Lukas had let go of the bike mid air and pulled it back under himself with little effort making people go nuts. It was like he never left. The announcer praising him and calling him the “comeback kid” quite a few times. Lukas had one final big jump and Philip held his breath knowing he was going to try the backflip. He’d practiced it a few times but only landed it once. He hit the jump and hesitated, throwing the bike to the side before pulling it back underneath of him to land and skid to a stop.

“YEAH! WOOOOOO! LUKAS!!” Philip heard Helen and Gabe cheering behind him in the stands with Bo. Lukas fist pumped the air and everyone got to their feet to cheer him on. Philip ran around to see them interviewing Lukas who looked like he couldn’t smile any bigger.

“Lukas you’ve been out of the circuit for a month and after everything that’s happened, how are you feeling after such an amazing run?” The man held the mic up to Lukas’ mouth and he laughed.

“Oh man it’s unbelievable. I can’t describe it. It feels good to be back again. It feels like I never left.” Lukas said wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“You without a doubt had the best run today out of everyone here so far and I know you’ve been looking for some sponsorship’s, I think it’s safe to say they’ll be knocking your door down after this one.” Lukas shook his head.

“You know what, I’m just a regular guy out here doing something he loves. I’m not trying to focus on any of the stuff I went through. I’m moving past it and if sponsors can handle that then I’ll be happy to help them make some money.” Lukas had his cocky nature back and it made Philip smile proudly.

“Well I’ll let you go, I know there are about 30 girls over there waiting to ring your bell so congratulations!” Lukas glanced over at Philip and smiled awkwardly as he headed off to his trailer. Philip walked in as he was pulling his shirt over his head and Lukas pulled it back down.

“You did AMAZING! I’m so freaking proud of you!” Philip threw his arms around Lukas and he pulled away slightly when Philip went to kiss him.

“You okay?” Philip asked making Lukas look nervous.

“I just…maybe we shouldn’t be too close when we’re here. I mean we’d decided that it was okay to just keep this under wraps right? Maybe we should keep it off the track too.” Lukas said hoping Philip wouldn’t lost his shit but Philip stepped back.

“Yeah…I mean I just…you aren’t on the track right now, we’re in the trailer but that’s fine. I’m still really proud of you.” Lukas frowned reaching out to rub Philip’s hand that rested on the wooden bench inside the trailer.

“I kept hearing your voice in my head and I felt calm…like no matter how I did, it’d be okay. Thank you for being here.” Lukas wanted to kiss him so bad but he knew he had to get these sponsors if he wanted to get into the pro circuit by the summer. 

“You know I’ll always be here for you.” Philip reassured him. That’s how it always was. Lukas could feel like his whole world was falling apart but Philip had a way of bringing him back, making him feel safe. The fall continued with Lukas winning more and more competitions and turning a lot of sponsorship heads. The footage that Philip was getting was also a huge bonus for turning pro circuit heads as well. Philip went wherever Lukas went. Sometimes Gabe and Helen would make the drive, other times Bo would allow Philip to go with them. Him and Philip had spent a lot of time together traveling for Lukas and getting to know one another. Gabe thought it was a great idea and the more Bo got to know him, the more comfortable Lukas was holding Philip’s hand when they were on the road or kissing Philip good night. But if they weren’t on the road, Lukas treated Philip like his friend.

Philip hoped it wouldn’t always be like this but he would never force Lukas to do anything. Watching girls hanging off of him drove him nuts. Lukas never gave into them obviously but it still bothered Philip. Lukas didn’t get it though. He constantly told him that he didn’t do anything, he was just being polite. Philip continued to cheer him on and film his runs. Take cards from sponsors wanting a meeting and making sure he was everything a supportive boyfriend should be.

“Hey son, we’ve got that meeting tomorrow with three different sponsors so you’ll need to get some rest tonight.” Bo said from front of the trailer as Lukas came out from the back wearing fresh, clean clothes.

“I won’t be out late. Some of the other guys want to hang out and tell me about some of the sponsors. You know, try and sway me to the dark side.” Bo looked at him confused.

“Are you taking Philip with you?” He asked but Lukas fixed his jacket.

“No he said he wasn’t feeling well. He’s out taking some pictures of the course. I figured he could turn in early and be ready for tomorrow’s tournament.” Lukas had reached for the door but Bo shook his head.

“If you aren’t careful, you’re going to lose him.” Lukas stopped and laughed.

“He’s a big boy dad, plus it’s not even that dark. He’ll find his way back just fine.” Lukas opened the door and turned around to wave. Bo waited up for Philip to come in and he had his eyes on his camera.

“I got some pretty nice photos of the sunset if you want to see.” Philip smiled and Bo chuckled.

“Sure. Let’s see what you got.” Philip looked surprised but quickly realized Lukas wasn’t in the trailer. He frowned and Bo put his hand on his shoulder.

“I actually think I’m just going to get some sleep. You’re welcome to look through them though. Good night.” Philip took his sleeping bag and climbed on top of the trailer. He’d liked sleeping up there now that it was warm out. The stars reminded him of Tivoli. He’d considered leaving twice but he couldn’t take this from Lukas. This was his dream. He heard him open the door and get into the trailer before climbing the ladder a few moments later.

“Hey, dad’s asleep. Did you want to come down here and sleep in my room?” Lukas asked but Philip didn’t move.

“No I’m fine here. How did it go with the other guys?” Lukas finished climbing the ladder and sat down next to Philip looking down at him.

“It was alright. They keep trying to steer me in the direction of which team pulls the best chicks like that matters.” Lukas laughed and Philip kept his eyes on the sky.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back inside with me? I promise not to make you too warm.” Lukas pushed Philip’s hair out of his face and he turned his head away from his touch.

“No I think I want to stay out here tonight. It reminds me of being back home. I miss it there. Everything seemed…easier there. I never thought I’d get homesick of Tivoli.” Philip sighed making Lukas worry.

“Well..I mean did you want to go back?” Lukas asked hoping the answer was no but he didn’t want to hold Philip hostage.

“Tomorrow is a big day, you should really be getting some sleep.” Philip tried to change the subject but Lukas clicked his tongue to his teeth.

“Don’t do that. Tell me what’s wrong.” Lukas laid down on his elbow putting one arm over Philip’s waist pulling him closer.

“Someone might see us-” Lukas knew exactly why Philip was upset.

“You said you were okay with this. I thought…I thought we were good.” Philip finally looked at Lukas and had tears in his eyes.

“I know. It’s fine. We can do whatever you want.” Lukas put his hand on Philip’s face.

“Philip…please.” Lukas hated seeing him like this.

“Lukas, I’m trying really hard right now okay so please don’t ask anymore of me. This is your dream. I’m here and I’m watching you live your dream, capturing every single moment on film and every part of my body screams for you when people start cheering for you. All I want to do is run to you and kiss you but I…I can’t. I miss the barn. I miss being able to put my arms around you. I miss going to the track we built and taking stupid videos together. I miss laying in my bed just watching you sleep but here…I can’t do that. I’m not apart of this dream.” Philip wiped the tears off his face and put his hands over his eyes when Lukas looked away to blink his own tears away.

“I’m sorry. I know how big tomorrow is. I shouldn’t have dumped all this on you. Come on, let’s go to bed.” Philip slid towards the ladder and shuffled down quickly not waiting for him. Bo nodded at him and Philip shook his head ready to apologize.

“Don’t apologize son. He needed to hear it.” Philip gaped a bit but Bo touched his shoulder again.

“Most of us are lucky to find love once in a life time. My boy gets his hard head from me so for that I’m sorry but you’re good for him. He just needs to start being good for you too or for your own sake you’ll have to let him go.” Bo said sadly just as Lukas walked into the door looking thrown.

“Goodnight boys.” He went back to his room and pulled the door shut. Philip slid into his bed and Lukas slid in behind him spooning up close to hold him tightly. They didn’t say anything, just held onto one another tightly until they passed out. 

The next morning, Lukas sat through his meetings listening to all the sponsors had to offer and feeling a million miles away. The traveling and the paychecks sounded amazing. The gear and the exposure all sounded like a bonus but he knew that if he took these offers, he might never get to go back to the barn with Philip.

“Son, you ready for this?” Bo snapped Lukas back to his bike and he knew he was just about up.

“Where’s Philip?” Lukas asked and Bo pointed to the booth.

“One of the sponsors gave him a press badge to take better footage.” Lukas saw Philip messing with the settings on his camera and couldn’t help but stare.

“You can be a motocross star and a good boyfriend, son. It is possible but that kind of love you can only find with a person, not a sport.” They called Lukas’ name on the speaker and Philip looked over at him giving him a smile and mouthing “Good Luck” at him. Lukas smiled and looked over at his dad.

“I’m with you no matter what kid.” Bo reassured him as he pushed his bike to the start. Lukas started up his bike and shoved his helmet on thinking about practicing with Philip back home. He started his run and smiled thinking of all the tricks that made Philip’s eyes go wide with amazement. He kicked up dirt and clicked his heels together making people cheer. He saw the final jump coming up and he finally had enough confidence to try the backflip which he felt in his chest as he pulled the back with him through the rotation and landed perfectly hearing an applause so loud, he couldn’t hear the announcers. People swarmed Lukas as he parked his bike but he pushed through all of them to get to Philip who was jumping up and down with excitement.

“You did it! That was so awesome! I got it on film and-” Lukas stopped Philip ranting with his lips not caring what anyone around him said because all he wanted to do was kiss his boyfriend. Philip pulled away wide eyed and confused.

“Lukas...” He breathed.

“You’re my dream. This...this used to be what I dreamed about but you...this means nothing if I can’t have you too. I’ll walk away today if it means I lose you. I love you.” Lukas kisses him again and this time Philip gripped his shirt tightly in his fist kissing him with everything he had. Bo finally had to pull them apart so Lukas could accept his winnings and the announcer put his mic in his face again.

“That backflip was the most savage thing we’ve seen from you in a long time Lukas and after your 6th consecutive win, how are you feeling?” Lukas looked over at Philip who was smiling ear to ear.

“Man I wish I could explain to you how free I feel. I’ve got another win under my belt, a trick I feel like I could pull off in my sleep and a boyfriend who I love more than anything. I’m on top of the world.” Philip blushed and his dad smiled at him putting his arm around Philip.

“I guess you’re kind of out now. That’s pretty crazy. You could very well be the first ever openly gay motocross star.” Lukas shook his head.

“I don’t want to go into this as some poster boy. It’s taken me a really long time to accept myself and actually be fearless enough to stand here saying I have a boyfriend but he deserves to be praised. He’s why I’m here. If I get sponsored, I won’t be using my sexuality to get anyone a paycheck. I want to be Lukas Waldenbeck, motocross star who just happens to be gay.” Everyone cheered louder and  Lukas left the podium getting hand shakes from the other riders and words of admiration, some even gave him short hugs with respect as he reached Philip. Philip wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply.

“I am so proud of you and I love you so much.” Philip felt his face hurting from how hard he was smiling.

“Wherever you are is where my home is.” Lukas put his hand on Philip’s chest and Philip closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Lukas’. They stood there for a moment until someone cleared their throat.

“Lukas Waldenbeck, I’m Greg Warner from EXT Motors. We would like to talk to you about a sponsorship.” Lukas had wanted to be sponsored by EXT Motors since he started racing.

“And before you give me the third degree, we want you strictly for your abilities and dedication. You’re a racer, what you do in your home life is your business, not the press or circuit. You’re brave and charismatic. I think you’ll represent the brand proudly.” Lukas looked over at Philip and he shook his head urging him to take it. Lukas knew that this was jut the beginning for the both of them and he was excited to truly start a new life.

“So what do you say?”