#one of my favorite all time films and i love space opera aesthetics

[wormwoodandhoney]

genre swap: roman holiday as a space opera, requested by anon

the sheltered princess of a small planet steals a pod and decides to explore the galaxy. two-bit reporter joe agrees to show her around, planning to sell a story to light up the screens- but as always, love makes things complicated.

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Wire — Not About to Die

In the late 1970s, Wire invented a certain variety of art punk—short, rhythmic, minimalist, melodic and smart. The band’s first three albums, Pink Flag in 1977, Chairs Missing in 1978 and 154 in 1979, set a template for a whole generation of 1980s bands: the Feelies, R.E.M., Sonic Youth, the Wipers, Mission of Burma, the Minutemen and others. Their brash, engaging aesthetic continues to reverberate through rock and pop—Jay Reatard, Franz Ferdinand, Shopping, the Woolen Men and a hundred others all sound like they spent time listening to the first Wire albums.

Wire itself moved on briskly from this early salvo, refusing to play early material (relegating that role, on one tour, to a cover band called Ex Lion Tamers) from 1985 forward and moving instead into a synth-y, dance-y phase.

Perhaps because they were so insistent on leaving the past behind them, Wire spent years resisting a release of the material now on Not About to Die, a collection of demos and alternate versions of songs from Chairs Missing and 154, as well as other tunes that never got an official pressing. Cassette copies circulated unofficially, and in the early 1980s, Amnesia Records released a bootleg version despite the band’s objections.

The demos are rough sketches, made without much attention to production and further damaged by several generations of tape-to-tape copying. But while no one would mistake this material for an official Wire release, it provides fascinating insight on Wire’s creative process. Early versions of “French Film (Blurred),” “Used To,” and “Being Sucked in Again,” document the development of Chairs Missing, while prototypes for “Once Is Enough,” “On Returning” and “Two People in a Room” hint at the rough beginnings of 154.  “The Other Window,” blown out on 154 into a baroque space opera, is here a galloping, punk song.

The whole enterprise sheds light on a period when Wire was reinventing itself—not the only time but a significant one—and the way their songs changed as their ideas about what they were doing changed. It’s also a lot of fun, and if you like the earliest Wire best, it’ll make you happy in the most basic way.

Jennifer Kelly

Jonathan Shaw:  A university girlfriend gave me Chairs Missing in 1990. I knew about the synthy Wire, which was my only schema for them. The one-two punch of "Practice Makes Perfect" and "French Film Blurred" completely knocked me out, still one of my favorite two-song sequences in music. Canonical in my post-punk imaginary. So the version of "French Film Blurred" here really threw me. As someone who has never made music, I always sort of know that songs get wood-shopped, worked over. And the guys in Wire had very specific ideas of themselves as a band, so one can imagine the journey from initial concept or melody to final version could be really long. But man, that's a very different song, and an interesting glimpse into the band's process.

Ian Mathers: Personally, my favorite of their opening trilogy (and still just my favorite Wire album) is 154. The weird, often kind of mannered energy of that record (the reason I love it!) isn't really found here, even on versions of those songs, but that's not a complaint. I'm most struck by the way that, if I didn't know most of these songs already, I'd be quite willing to believe this was just an early Wire album, and a good one. It might be the use of 'demo' throwing me off a little —  reviewing the Pavement Terror Twilight reissue I listened to a lot of demos, but those were much chintzier efforts intended by the songwriter to show the rest of the band what the song sounds like. These demos feel more like Wire are at least considering the idea that any of these could be basically the final songs. If anything they feel more like the different takes on the Stooges' Fun House box than a lot of more recent demos I've heard.

I guess at least some of the material here was included on the previously released Behind the Curtain comp, but maybe because that's less focused (31 tracks in I think a bit over an hour, versus 18 tracks in a little under 40 minutes) I could never get into them there, whereas I've been listening to Not About to Die a lot, and enjoying it. Something like "Chairs Missing (Used To)" is an example of a demo for one of my favorite Wire songs that's both different and lacking a lot of what I specifically love about the LP version of that song, and yet I love this one too. And then stuff like "Stalemate" just feels like a lost gem. I came into this interested to hear this record and expecting to find things of interest, but already I'm thinking this is just getting added to my regular collection, which I didn't necessarily expect.

Tim Clarke: Like Ian, 154 is my favorite Wire, so on initial listens, the hard-edged punk energy of the opening run of songs on this collection threw me a bit. I've never been that attracted to the fast and loud aesthetics of punk, but what's really striking with Wire is how tight they were as a band during this era, even when throwing together demos. Admittedly, part of the magic comes from what they brought to the songs in the studio, but there was clearly chemistry within the band that came from just playing together in a room.

Jonathan Shaw: Fast and loud is where most of my listening is located, so my surprise at the record's relative polish is inflected differently. I also come at demo recordings with other contexts for how the form functions. There's a long tradition of public-facing demos in heavy music, stuff that's recorded for large(ish) audiences by bands that haven't yet been signed, stuff recorded by signed bands that's issued outside of labels' releases. Those tend to be rough and raw by design, a sort of marker of the music's authenticity. That's a fraught term in punk — always has been: see the venom associated with scene "posers" in the 1980s. It's even more fraught when listening to a band with such sharp attitudes about Art. Still, I share Tim's enjoyment of the sense of the band "just playing together in a room." Wire's music is not famed for its warmth, but these recordings have a sort of warm immediacy that's appealing. 

Jennifer Kelly:  I was just A/Bing "French Film (Blurred)," and it's a really striking transition.  The demo version is loose and live sounding, sort of barked out vocally, with those really serrated, punk rock guitars, not that far off from the Buzzcocks or the Clash.  The one on 154 tamps the vocals down to an ominous whisper (and gets it way more under control pitch-wise), while bringing the guitar and bass up and sharpening them up.  There are some close harmonies in the chorus, where in the earlier version they could barely get the right notes on one vocal line.  It's just so much more carefully coiffed, at once odder and more pop sounding.  And having said all that, I like them both, and I maybe like the demo a little better.  

Bryon Hayes:  I was doing this as well with "The Other Window," as on my first listen through of the demos, I didn't know what song I was actually listening to.  The demo is a chugging guitar rave-up with actual sung vocals that could easily have fit in on Pink Flag.  Had I heard this version before the one on 154, with its underwater guitars and spoken word, I might have thought that the latter was actually someone like Bauhaus covering Wire.  I know that this is anachronistic, since the "Bela Lugosi's Dead" single came out the same year as 154, but I think this is also more evidence of Wire having a major influence on such a diverse array of bands and musicians.  Even more evidence: my introduction to the band was actually through Flying Saucer Attack's cover of "Outdoor Miner."

Jennifer Kelly:  Anyone want to share early live Wire experiences? I don't have any, but I bet someone does.

Bill Meyer:  I believe that Wire did a tour of the USA with Roxy Music in the late 1970s, but I didn't see it. My first encounter was in 1980, when I went to Wherehouse Records in East Lansing with a request for guidance. I'd just picked up XTC's Drums and Wires and dug it, so I wanted to hear some more new wave sounds. I was directed to 154, which was a bit of a mind-blower for me. I worked my way back over the next couple years, picking up Pink Flag and Chairs Missing, and I also enthusiastically embraced Colin Newman's solo albums. My first impression of the demo recordings under consideration is that they lack the precision and conscious preference to take roads less traveled that made Wire's albums so powerful. I suspect that part of the Wire recording process in the 1970s was to take their songs and figure out what about them sounded like someone else. Those parts had to go. 

I didn't get to see Wire live until 1987, when they came to town in support of Snakedrill and Ideal Copy. They weren't playing anything earlier than "Drill," but they did have the ex-Lion Tamers on hand to play Pink Flag straight through. I remember being amused by the open act (who were very accurate), and very impressed by the spareness of Robert Gotobed's drum it - one hi-hat, one snare, and a bass drum with a garbage can lid nestled inside. I was also very impressed with the rhythms he played using that set-up. The band's sound was pretty streamlined, but "Drill" had real teeth live. Oh, back then Graham Lewis had a rather impressive mullet, which in combination with his fierce faced delivery made him look a bit like Frankenstein's monster.

Jonathan Shaw:  I have never been in the room with the band, but this set from German television in 1979 is pretty great. It was released as a CD/DVD bundle a number of years ago. Likely my favorite Wire music.

Tim Clarke:  Comparing 154 opener "I Should Have Known Better" with its demo version here (entitled "Ignorance No Plea") demonstrates how restraint and subtle changes in tempo can transform the feeling of a song. In its demo form, it starts off slower than the album version, dragging its heels, then picks up speed and introduces plenty of cymbals that swallow up the high end. The demo works fine as a standalone song, and it's not massively different to its final form. However, they reined in the sense of release that comes from the demo's second half and introduced eerie reverb, crafting the song into a more effective album opener.

Likewise, the production on the album version of "Two People in a Room" really dials up the huge snare sound and the dissonance between the guitars and bass. The demo almost has a rockabilly feel, plus that distracting phaser effect on the guitars. Wire really knew how to pare songs back to essentials in order to maximize their impact.

Bill Meyer:  The differences between the demo and final  versions of “Chairs Missing (Used To)”  are, I think really informative. Jonathan used the word “warmer” to describe the demo editions, and I do think that the added electronic sounds and more restrained vocal of the final edition result in a decidedly chillier sound. I’m also intrigued that the demo has such an elaborate vocal arrangement; this was not a dashed-off performance, and they threw out some elaborate work to get to the song to its end form. 

“Being Sucked In Again,” on the other hand, wasn’t drastically changed at all. The modifications are mostly a matter of tweaking gestures to make them stick out a bit more.

Jonathan Shaw:  The opening seconds of the demo version of "Used To" sounds like a blues shuffle. I almost expected ol' Keef Richards to start riffing over it. Like Bill, I'm struck by the experimenting with vocal arrangement--wonder if "5th demo" indicates a number on a tape reel or the fifth version of the song. I think the former is more likely, but the band must have worked hard on many of these songs.

The version of "I Should Have Known Better" here isn't so radically different from the 154 version, but the demo has some serious 1977 punk attitude. Strongly prefer it.

Ian Mathers:  Funnily enough, the Flying Saucer Attack cover of "Outdoor Miner" was also MY introduction to Wire!

I hadn't done many A/B comparisons before reading about the ones mentioned here, and it's been really interesting! Something like "Options R" is a case where the demo sounds so great and so... finished, I might have thought they didn't really change it unless I compared. The actual b-side version is largely the same, possibly a slightly less winning performance. But the slight vocal distortion and the way they turn the sort-of guitar solo near the end into this shimmering, serrated thing is another example of those small, distinguishing touches that really makes the finished versions worthwhile in their own right (compared to such strong demos, I mean). 

I'd seen the Wire on the Box video Jonathan shared before, and love it - one of my favorites from them as well. I wasn't able to see them live in person until even later than Bill, on the tour for the first Read & Burn EP. They did not have any Ex-Lion Tamer equivalent with them, I think may have just played one older song, during the encore (sadly it's not up on setlist.fm and I didn't take any notes back then!), and was one of the louder shows I've ever seen. I definitely heard some fans lamenting the lack of earlier material, but honestly they played with such ferocity I respected the not-looking-back gesture.

Jennifer Kelly:  In addition to alternate versions, there are a few cuts here that never made a proper Wire album.  I'm liking "Culture Vultures," for instance, which was recorded on a Peel Sessions, but never for a studio album.  

As was often the case, Peel got something especially visceral out of the band.  

Bryon Hayes:  I'm really liking "Underwater Experiences".  This track wound up on Document and Eyewitness and the more recent 10:20 collection, but in a sped up and aggressive format.  The version on Not About to Die is such a slow burner, you can feel the aggression building but it doesn't really burst until that last line, "to free my mind and break my neck".  Priceless!!

Bill Meyer:  Ian, that Read & Burn tour really drew me back in. As Wire’s music got more ponderous and less rhythmically interesting in the latter part of the late 1980s-early 1990s run, I grew very disenchanted. When they did the tour in the late 1990s where they finally played all the old tunes, I just didn’t want to know, and I sat it out; it seemed antithetical to their concept as a project in perpetual progress, and given what the Wire album had sounded like, I didn’t trust their judgment. But then I heard a promo of the first Read & Burn EP, I liked it, and decided to see the tour. The short, ferocious, and (yes, very) loud set of new material made it clear that I was wrong to write them off. The Read & Burn/Send era still really holds up for me.  

Jonathan Shaw:  Speaking of short and ferocious: I really like the way the recording quality gives some of the playing such an immediate snap. The opening seconds of "Stalemate," for example, in which the action of the strings feels so taught and sharp; or Gotobed's crazy, tight rhythmic structures in "Stepping Off Too Quick (Not about to Die)." The undercurrent of anxious tension is just about palpable. I've often found that really engaging on some of the classic records we've been discussing. "I Feel Mysterious Today" is a batshit song--as insanely paranoid as it is playful. That weird, psychologically inflected quality feels especially present in the playing on these demo tunes. So sharply attuned, so beset by nervous intensity. It's not the most pleasant thing to tune in to, but feels very much in tune with that thing we call post-punk.

Chris Liberato: The Read & Burn EPs and Send have held up for me as well, Bill. Those are good records. As for the songs on Not About To Die that didn’t make it onto a Wire album, I don’t think anyone’s mentioned “Oh No Not So (Save The Bullet)” yet. That one really threw me off on first listen; It’s so bouncy and jangly and generally un-Wire-like that I thought I was listening to a different band the first time I heard it. I had burned Not About to Die onto a CD-R (I know, I know) to play during a road trip and had it sequenced to follow a bunch of Neutrals’ music. When the Neutrals portion of the disc ended and “Oh No Not So” started, the two blended so well that my brain didn’t register that I listening to Wire until the chorus hit and just enough of Newman’s chilliness came through that it finally clicked.“It’s The Motive” is probably my favorite of the songs that didn’t appear on an album, though. I hadn’t thought about the similarities between Wire and The Feelies before Jenny mentioned it in the introduction, but Gotobed’s fills on that one definitely bring them to mind, as does the skittery guitar work and rhythm on tracks like “Once Is Enough.”

[dweemeister]

Best Animated Short Film Nominees for the 93rd Academy Awards (2021, listed in order of appearance in the shorts package)

NOTE: For viewers in the United States (continental U.S., Alaska, and Hawai’i) who would like to watch the Oscar-nominated short film packages, click here. For virtual cinemas, you can purchase the packages individually or all three at once. You can find info about reopened theaters that are playing the packages in that link. Because moviegoing carries risks at this time, please remember to follow health and safety guidelines as outlined by your local, regional, and national health officials.

Continuing with one of my favorite Oscar-time traditions, here is an omnibus review of this year’s Academy Award nominees for Best Animated Short Film. This is an older category than many might believe to be, with some of the first nominees and winner including ‘30s and ‘40s fixtures: Disney’s Silly Symphonies, Warner Bros.’ Looney Tunes, MGM’s Tom and Jerry and Happy Harmonies. These days, the category tends to be more democratic (perhaps not so much this year), but certainly more experimental. Here are the nominees, as they appeared in the order of how they appeared in the short film packages released to theaters and virtual cinemas in the United States:

Burrow (2020)

Burrow, directed by Madeline Sharafian (story artist on 2017’s Coco, writer on Cartoon Network’s We Bare Bears), is the eighth in Pixar’s SparkShorts series, in which Pixar’s junior animators craft a short film on a limited budget and timeframe. This is the film that played in front of Soul for those lucky enough to view that film theatrically. This dialogue-free, hand-drawn film stars a young rabbit, looking to dig out and furnish her own home – complete with a bathroom-disco (or something like that). Her best-laid plans, however, seem dashed when she keeps digging and running into other animals’ underground abodes in this area. Not that these animals seem to mind the intrusions too much. The rabbit, so anxiety-driven in her eagerness to project a picture of self-assuredness, soon realizes that these nearby animals she fears to have disturbed are all neighbors, a community ready to lend a paw for the newcomer.

Sharafian credits her sense of impostors’ syndrome when first working at Pixar as the film’s primary thematic inspiration. With only a bare number of lines, the rabbit expresses a vast array of emotions, endearing the audience to her self-dramatization and youthful insecurity. Drawn flatly but nevertheless suggesting some depth, the cutaway animation depicting the burrow neighborhood recalls Richard Scarry’s books and other such colorful ensemble illustrations found in children’s picture books. Burrow is a worthy addition to Disney/Pixar’s animated short film legacy, despite the lack of innovation and obvious low-budget appeal (it uses the third movement of Mozart’s Oboe Concerto as its soundtrack), and seems like something that could have been made during the heyday of Silly Symphonies or Warner Bros.’ Merrie Melodies.

My rating: 7/10

Genius Loci (2020, France)

From the Latin term meaning “the spirit of a place”, Adrien Mérigeau’s Genius Loci is the most difficult, abstract film of this year’s slate of nominees. Genius Loci stars a young black woman named Reine (Nadia Moussa), a solitary soul who embarks upon, while walking the streets of Paris at night, an existential revelation. Reine, who is supposed to be babysitting her nephew that evening, decides to have a small adventure instead. She will find this experience and this Parisian neighborhood disorienting and chaotic, in many of the ways that life in a sprawling metropolis can be. The film’s sound mix clangs, whispers, vibrates, and echoes into Reine’s soul, injecting feelings of harmony, but mostly those of displacement. The distant rumbling of traffic is subliminal here, crescendoing and decrescendoing to control the film’s tension. Throughout, Mérigeau provides a fragmented narrative (do not fixate on the plot) and the protagonist’s intangible, occasionally abstruse, narration. Spiritual and existential loss colors Reine’s ambling, as well as a sense of modern France’s racial otherizing that makes the city feel unwelcoming, if not antagonistic.

Mérigeau (background cleanup on 2009’s The Secret of Kells, art director on 2014’s Song of the Sea) collaborated with Belgian comic illustrator Brecht Evens (production designer on the excellent Marona’s Fantastic Tale from 2019) for the film’s dumbfounding backgrounds, as well as storyboarding the changes in aesthetic as Reine continues her journey through Paris. Marona’s influence is felt keenly throughout Genius Loci – from the lack of recognizably human figures among strangers to Reine and the ever-changing color scheme. Unlike Marona, Genius Loci commits to watercolors (or computerized animation meant to resemble watercolor paints) during the film’s entirety. The watercolor animation serves to loosen the character animation and the backgrounds’ definition, and serves as a paragon of expressionist animation. Genius Loci will bewilder audiences, challenging them to understand Reine’s painful attempt to find belonging and solace in a place that disallows such reflection.

My rating: 8.5/10

Opera (2020, South Korea)

Opera, directed by Erick Oh (an animator at Berkeley-based Tonko House, which crafted the 2014 nominee The Dam Keeper), is an independent South Korean/American production that owes more to Sandro Botticelli and Hieronymus Bosch than anything ever seen in animated cinema. This is a cinematic fresco teeming with activity, intended more as interactive art than for a movie theater. The setting is a pyramid filled with souls living, laboring, luxuriating, dying. As the camera pans downward from the godlike or prophet-like figures occupying the top, it later zooms outward, all timed alongside a day-night cycle. Opera’s story is that of human history, distilled in eight minutes of repetitive activity. The design of Oh’s film is as a museum installation – projected on a wall or the ground (the only instance Opera has been screened as such was at the Ars Electronica Animation Festival in Linz, Austria) – that loops continuously, and, if one looks closely enough at the pyramid’s sections, there are loops within the film’s loops. If viewed in a museum, Opera does not pan selectively as it does if projected in a theater or a home media screen.

Pieced together in between Oh’s other film projects over four years and a pandemic, Oh and his animators (some of whom participated voluntarily, without pay) concentrated on different sections of the pyramid at a time, synchronizing the action in a specific section to match the surrounding areas – and, ultimately, the film as a whole. Opera contains intricacies impossible to realize on first, second, third viewings. Even in its limited, virtual cinema form, it engulfs the viewer in its hierarchical animation, the intentionally simplistic character animation serving to universalize the drama of its beings’ existence. It is rapturous art, the sort that defies description, and undoubtedly will echo across Oh’s subsequent films.

My rating: 8.5/10

If Anything Happens I Love You (2020)

For some American viewers, I imagine that this title alone has already spoiled the film’s content even without seeing any footage. A Netflix production directed by Will McCormack (co-writer on 2019’s Toy Story 4) and Michael Govier (bit roles in American television), If Anything Happens I Love You is the only nominee in this category directed by individuals with no background in directing animation. McCormack and Govier met at acting school; acting remains their primary profession. Without dialogue, the film opens with two parents eating dinner at opposite ends of the table. They seem aloof, their minds elsewhere. The background is spare, with only a jumble of pencil sketches making sense of any barriers enclosing them. Flexible, animated silhouettes appear from their bodies – sometimes arguing vigorously with each other, at times shadowing the person and attempting to call their attention. Grief overhangs their household, expressed through a largely monotone palette, minimalistic designs and backgrounds. The background artists exclude any detail unnecessary to the story.

Written and crafted in collaboration with (so as to not spoil the film, I am about to opaquely write about this film’s intentions) a prominent, deep-pocketed political non-profit so as to shear the film of any thematic excess, If Anything Happens I Love You has, unlike its fellow nominees, broad support among certain prominent actors in Hollywood. Laura Dern is the executive producer and various actors – including Chelsea Handler, Rashida Jones, and Lesley Ann Warren, among others – have openly contributed or advocated for this movie. The visualization of the parents’ pain, even without dialogue, brings the viewer into a space unfathomable to most, unbearable for those who know too well. The use of the King Princess song “1950” meshes awkwardly with what is being portrayed on-screen at the time. But the character animation – McCormack and Govier’s experience as actors endows the couple with indelible humanity – and its visual discipline carry the film to its heartbreaking conclusion.

My rating: 8/10

Yes-People (2020, Iceland)

Icelandic film Já-Fólkið (Yes-People) is the epitome of cheap European computer-generated animation. Directed by Gísli Darri Halldórsson (a former Cartoon Network Studios character animator), Yes-People – the Best Icelandic Short winner at the 2020 Reykjavik International Film Festival and the Children’s Choice Award winner at 2020’s Nordisk Panorama – is a largely aimless movie following the zany lives of the people who live in an apartment complex. That is all I have to say about the film’s narrative. The sketches it draws in each character’s life always feel disjointed and disconnected from all the others – save one scene of the elderly couple fornicating loud enough for their downstairs neighbors to hear. Halldórsson describes his film as a mosaic of personalities, but even a mosaic has a thematic consistency that unifies its disparate parts.

The desaturated colors of Yes-People are meant to resemble old photographs. As much as I respect what Halldórsson is aiming for, the results make the film look muddy, half-rendered – like a knockoff Pixar short from the early 1990s. Inspired when Halldórsson described to some of his Irish friends about the different tonal meanings of the word “Já” (“hello” in Icelandic), Yes-People only has one repeated word of dialogue throughout: “Já”. Is this supposed to be funny? Philosophical? I am not sure; and I am not sure the film knows it either. Reading some of Halldórsson’s interviews following his Academy Award nomination, he mentions that the film’s positive response from Iceland and Scandinavia might be culturally specific, as opposed to other parts of the world. As to what those cultural differences might be that prevented me from liking this film, I hardly have a clue.

My rating: 6/10

^ All ratings based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

Three other films played in this package as honorable mentions: Kapaemahu (2020; 7.5/10), The Snail and the Whale (2019; 6.5/10), and To: Gerard (2020; 6.5/10).

From previous years: 85th Academy Awards (2013), 87th (2015), 88th (2016), 89th (2017), 90th (2018), 91st (2019), 92nd (2020).

[battlestar-royco]

here is part 2 of my sci fi recs masterlist! again, i could’ve gone on with even more recs but i decided to draw the line here. this set for the most part errs on the darker side, thematically, visually, conceptually etc. i personally find it super thought-provoking and intriguing but that’s just me. i highly recommend reading the tw under the cut if you’re thinking of watching, especially the matrix and space gothic slides. please view at your discretion <3

part 1/2

If you like WLW (um idk why I only made this slide based on identity; it just kinda happened lmao but I think it works):

Siren: (tw: parent loss, grief, thalassophobia) a mermaid surfaces in a cove town looking for her lost sister. Polyamorous relationship between a man, a black/indigenous woman, and the mermaid!!!! Environmentalism! As a person who has thalassophobia, I didn’t find this too hard to watch. There aren’t that many underwater scenes, thankfully.

Black Mirror: San Junipero: (tw: grief, but otherwise none that I recall; it’s pretty lighthearted) two women meet in a beach resort in the 80s and fall in love. Interracial wlw!

Orphan Black: (tw: suicide, infertility, rape implication, VB, language, drug use) a woman realizes she is one of several clones and uncovers an elaborate corporate conspiracy. This is one of my personal favorites with great rep of complex women of all ages and bodily autonomy. Several central queer characters and a black male secondary character!

Starfish: (tw: grief, a few jump scares and brief monstrous imagery, blood) after the death of her best friend, a young woman breaks into the deceased’s apartment and discovers a chain of music tapes that could save the world. Weird, subtle, and experimental. Not to sound like a surfer but you kinda have to allow yourself to be in the vibe. The main character and her friend were definitely a thing imo.

Annihilation: (tw: body horror, VB, disturbing imagery) a team of women scientists explore an anomaly that rapidly mutates genes. There are canonical and coded wlw and multiple (light-skinned) POC in this but the rep is short-lived. I put it on because although it should’ve been more ambitious with the casting, I think it breaks *some* ground for Hollywood sci fi with the all-woman team and more than one WOC. Wack ending though.

Mad Max: Fury Road: (tw: rape implication, violence) I think everyone knows about this one but: in the apocalypse, a woman breaks 4 younger women out of a harem. A badass car chase across the desert ensues. A bit light on plot/worldbuilding, but sooooo cool-looking and very thematic!!!!

If you liked STRANGER THINGS:

It: (tw: VB) don’t actually watch this lmao I’m serious. It’s really stupid, and not in a funny way. But I do think Stranger Things was inspired by this story overall. The modern It films are better but they’re also really kjslsklskls stupid? Stephen King in general is obsolete imo.

The Thing: (tw: VB) an alien that can take the form of others wreaks havoc on a scientific facility in Antarctica. It’s dark and vibey, but I feel like it’s just Alien in Antarctica with truly terrible special effects tbh?? Others feel differently. It’s also classified as sci fi/horror, so stay away if you’re easily scared! Not too good on representation.

Super 8: (tw: some language) a group of preteens witnesses an alien-caused train crash as they’re filming a home movie. Not diverse but I definitely think it inspired a lot of sci fi for the 2010s, ESPECIALLY Stranger Things. Not too scary either!

ET: (tw: it’s been a really long time since I watched so I don’t remember but it’s rated PG) I think everyone knows what this is about!

Alien: (tw: VB) truckers in space discover a deadly evolving alien. One of my favorite movies of all time! I love the aesthetic and the mood and worldbuilding so much. Ellen Ripley is one of the first Final Girls in the horror genre. I personally found this more of a sci fi than a horror movie but I’d say stay away if you’re nervous!!

Terminator: (tw: VB) a deadly android is sent to kill a woman who’s destined to birth the man who saves the world. Terminator 2 is way better imo because it centers on Sarah rather than the dudes saving her and trying to kill her. But it’s still worth a watch, you know, for the culture.

If you liked CONTAGION:

War of the Worlds: (tw: blood) pretty straightforward aliens come to Earth to take over. Sorry to rec another T*m Cruise movie but I really like the alien design and the apocalypsey feel of this one. Baby Dakota Fanning is in it too!

Falling Skies: (tw: VB, body horror, rape) alien invasion yada yada but the alien lore gets more interesting as it goes on. It’s kind of cheesy and yeah maybe I did discover it by looking up the iCarly boyfriend (and what about it??) but it’s nice to have on in the downtime. An Asian woman co-stars.

Knowing: (tw: blood) school students unearth a time capsule that contains a sheet from a girl who predicted all the tragic world events between 1959-2009. This is NOT a good movie but it’s SO hilarious to me because of the acting and contrivances. Fun to group-watch!!!!

10 Cloverfield Lane: (tw: VB, emotional abuse) a woman wakes up in a bunker to a captor who tells her that the world has fallen to alien apocalypse. I think this movie elevates the original Cloverfield in pretty much every way. Again, super tense and moody. The conflict revolves around whether or not the captor is being truthful.

Train to Busan: (tw: extreme VB and disturbing imagery) a man and his daughter are on a train when a zombie hops on at the last minute. It’s Korean with an all-Asian cast; Choi Woo-shik co-stars. I definitely wouldn’t watch if you’re scared of blood and gore. It’s very gross and violent.

12 Monkeys: (tw: ableism, violence) a man from the 2030s is sent back to the 1990s to prevent the plague that will end the world. I think the aesthetics of this are really cool but otherwise it’s not a favorite. But I think it appeals to people who like apocalypse and time travel stuff!

If you liked THE MATRIX:

Strange Days: (tw: rape, sex, nudity, VB, racism, police brutality) memories can be saved to hard-drives and sold on the black market for exorbitant prices. Very problematic and triggering presentation of rape, but young Angela Basset stars and there’s a condemnation of police brutality that’s still relevant 20+ years after its release.

Upgrade: (tw: ableism, VB, fridging) a disabled man installs an AI in his spine to help him move and investigate the murder of his wife. The premise is glaringly ableist and I feel weird even recommending it tbh but it’s got great visuals and a few good twists.

Altered Carbon: (tw: VB, weird interracial body switching, uhhh I haven’t finished this one IDK) in a society where human bodies are interchangeable, a man wakes up in a new body after 300 years of his mind being dormant. A Latina woman co-stars, two Asian characters in a subplot, a few other POC here and there as well. I think season 2 stars a black man.

eXistenZ: (tw: VB, anti-Asian racism, general weirdness? IDK it’s hard to describe. There are guns made out of bones and weirdly sexual visuals.) after someone tries to assassinate her, a video game designer and her bodyguard must play through her virtual reality game in order to save the only copy of the game.

Minority Report: (tw: VB, eye removal/insertion) all crimes are predicted and criminals reported before they are committed. The main character is preemptively accused of murder. This one is really white but it was one of the first movies that got me into sci fi. Early 2000s Colin Farrell <3.

If you liked WESTWORLD:

Humans: (tw: uncanny valley, objectification) androids are household helpers and public assistants throughout Britain until one day they start developing consciences. It hits a lot of the themes of Westworld without all the unnecessary pretentiousness, “edginess,” and “grittiness,” and it stars Gemma Chan and Colin Morgan!!

Blade Runner 2049: (^) an android is ordered to find and kill a human/android hybrid. It’s not without its issues but it’s one of my favorite movies of all time, right up there with Alien. So beautiful, so thematic, so thought-provoking (to me, anyway. I know a lot of people thought it was way too slow).

Ex Machina: (^) a man is invited to a private estate to help test the intelligence of an android. It’s kind of predictable imo but you know Oscar Isaac and Sonoya Mizuno are in it so we have to stan, and so is Domhnall Gleeson, for the SW fans! I like how isolated and quiet it feels.

I Am Mother: (tw: blood, gaslighting) after an extinction event, a young woman is raised by a lone android in a human repopulation facility until one day a woman knocks. It starts off slow and a bit generic, but I’m obsessed with the 2nd and 3rd acts of this movie---good acting, dialogue, and fantastic visuals. It has that same isolated feel as Ex Machina with only three characters, all of which are women/woman-coded!!!

If you liked ALIEN (space gothic):

Battlestar Galactica (2004-2008 reboot): (tw: genocide, war, colonization, VB, uncanny valley, rape, infidelity) space opera that follows humanity as it fights the ever-evolving and powerful enemy of their own creation: androids named Cylons. Um? I  L O V E  THIS SHOW SO MUCH and I truly do think it’s everything sci fi should be. There is a really unfortunate Miss Saigon-esque romance plot in season 1 and a lazily-written love triangle involving a black woman in season 3, but otherwise it’s one of my all-time favorites and I highly recommend. It’ll spin your mind and tug your heartstrings for years.

Black Mirror: Men Against Fire: (tw: genocide, war, nudity) soldiers in the near future protect citizens from mutant zombies, but one soldier starts experiencing strange hallucinations in the field. This is such an underrated Black Mirror episode starring a black man. There’s brief objectification of a black woman but it’s very anti-military and it has an interesting sterile aesthetic that reminds me of Alien.

High Life: (tw: rape, black holes/space anxiety, very disturbing) prisoners are given the option to join a space expedition and serve as experimental subjects en route to a black hole. Please please stay away if you are triggered by sexual violence of any kind. There’s almost no physical violence in this movie but it’s psychologically haunting imo.

The Faculty: (tw; VB, drug use) high schoolers discover their teachers are being possessed by an invading alien race. I LOVE THIS MOVIE LMFAOOOO. The cast is SO wild---Elijah Wood, John Oliver, Usher, Salma Hayek, Josh Hartnett??? And I’m probably forgetting more. The combination of the cast, the terrible dialogue, and shitty special effects is PEAK comedy imo. But bear in mind it’s bloody!!

Prometheus: (tw: body horror, VB, uncanny valley) a crew of scientists heads on a deep space mission to find the aliens who created the human race. A prequel to Alien, but I kind of view it as its own thing. Despite the plot holes, I love this movie too! It was one of my sci fi gateways and the visuals are stunning. It’s pretty gory though so if that’s not your thing stay away.

Life: (tw: extreme VB) a lesser Alien, but it provides all the space gothic tropes (jokey crew, shots of space, really pretty spaceship, everyone dies, creepy alien) with a well-known cast---Gyllenhaal, Reynolds, etc.

The X Files: (tw: a few episodes contain 90s racism, sexism, queerphobia etc but you can skip them) a lot of people have watched this so I barely have to explain, but it’s one of my favorites. Two FBI agents investigate multiple aliens and get involved in government conspiracies along the way. A good gateway!

A Quiet Place: (tw: child loss, VB, tension) I think most people know what this is about too. Alien apocalypse with aliens that hunt by sound. The daughter in the family is deaf, and so is the actress who portrays her. The representation of deafness was critically acclaimed.

[abnerkrill]

All numbers from 1-30 for your writing ask! Please?

um yes absolutely, thanks for asking!! lol I have a lot to say so buckle up :’)

1. What’s your WIP title and any working titles it’s had in the past?

My current feature screenplay is called “Charity” and it’s never had any other name. I am open to changing it in the future, but for now I think it’s a decent working title!

2. If you could write for any currently airing TV show, what would you choose and why?

omg... The Mandalorian of course... I just think I would be an excellent fit for our fave Star Wars space western, and I just love the show so much <3

3. If you could go back in time and change the series finale/ending of any TV show, what would it be and what changes would you make?

going to have to go with Star Trek: Voyager on this. I love the show to bits, but the final few minutes are SO unsatisfying, and I’d want to extend the ending to include an epilogue of sorts showing their return to Earth and the resolution of several major relationships.

I would also kill the Chakotay/Seven romance dead because Janeway/Chakotay is where it’s at >:(

4. What’s a trope you find yourself including in almost all your works?

I LOVE giving my characters truly awful moral dilemmas where there’s no right choice and either way someone gets hurt :))

5. What’s a trope you hate/could never bring yourself to write?

love at first sight...... nope, can’t do it! it’s slow angsty buildup or nothing, baby!

6. What’s your OTP from your own writing and what’s their story?

I’m REALLY sorry for outing myself as a self-insert/canon character shipper, but my Star Wars OC Akēna ends up with Axe Woves from the Mandalorian. I know he literally has 3 lines in the show, but I love Simon Kassianides so much and came up with this whole angst-ridden backstory for Axe that I just literally can’t resist

(His parents were Death Watch, he wanted to leave Mandalore for good to escape that history, but the Mandalorian genocide/Purge brought him back to fight for vengeance and to support the survivors, and he’s struggling with the legacy of just what it means to be a Mandalorian. [Religious deconstruction, anyone??] Then Axe and Akēna meet when Axe is on a mission for Bo-Katan that brings him to the planet where Akēna’s been in self-imposed exile for the past year, then they go on lots of fun/action-packed space travel with slow burn shenanigans and defeat Akēna’s archenemy, who killed her dad.)

7. What mashup of two writers/filmmakers matches your storytelling vibe? (___ meets ___)

I while back I said I was Madeleine L’Engle + China Mieville and I stand by that!

8. If your WIP was being made into a film, who’d you want to direct it? (Choose an established filmmaker)

perhaps Cathy Yan (Birds of Prey)—it’d be important to me to have an Asian woman directing Charity and I looove her visual style!

9. Who would you cast as your main character/s in the screen adaptation of your WIP?

Jessica Henwick as Krida (she’s a bit too young but she’s so gooooood), David Morrissey as Dr. Brandon Lane, haven’t decided the rest of the cast but maybe Maggie Q as Verda, Dominique Tipper as Mia, Bob Morley as Raul??

10. If you could collab with any living writer on a full length work, who’d you choose and what would your project be?

hmm, this one’s tough but honestly I’d love to write a fantasy-horror screenplay with Guillermo Del Toro. I just want to learn from him and I think he should do more fantasy!!

11. What are your favorite and least favorite genres to write?

Fave: high fantasy, space opera, urban fantasy. Least fave: contemporary drama and romantic comedy.

12. List the top 3 words/phrases you find yourself unintentionally writing over and over. (E.g., my characters are always furrowing their brows)

my characters definitely furrow their brows, glance away, and inhale/exhale too often lol

13. Your WIP is being adapted into a TV show. What song plays over the main credits and what’s the vibe/aesthetic of the credit sequence?

this one’s hard because I have so many songs I love!! for Charity, maybe the chorus of WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? by Bastille. I’d love for the main credits to be really a jarring juxtaposition of the hedonistic cruise vibes + the blood/sweat/violence of the latter half of the story. (It doesn’t really work as a TV show because it’s very much a standalone film lol.)

14. Share your WIP’s plot like it’s a Reddit “am I the asshole” post.

Okay so I’m (F38) on this luxury cruise [AN: through space, because as a rule I write sci-fi and fantasy] and started seeing this guy (M50s?? let’s call him Brandon) who’s probably newly divorced but we aren’t really talking about our respective reasons for going on a cruise alone. That’s just not what this relationship is. Everything’s fine and I’m doing a great job at distracting myself from real life™, but then our ship is rerouted to respond to a ship in distress a few hours away.

Brandon’s a medical professional so he volunteers to assist. I’m in marketing with no medical certification so I feel kind of useless. I go and get a little bit drunk with a new friend who also feels useless (F35, we’ll call her Mia). Mia tells me she’s been seeing one of the ship’s third engineers, and through him, we get access to the engineer group chat, where we find out that our ship is literally breaking all the speed rules and going way over the recommended limit for this vessel, putting all of our lives in danger to try to reach this other ship faster, with no certainty that we’ll actually arrive in time to save anyone.

At this point I haven’t told anyone but Brandon that my estranged older sister (F50, we’ll call her Verda) is actually the ship’s captain, and I came onboard in hopes of reconnecting with her, I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. But as we read the engineer group chat, Mia and I get more and more convinced that the ship’s top brass (meaning my sister!) are keeping important info from the passengers, and we might actually be in real danger of dying because they’re pushing the ship too hard.

Now here’s where I might kind of be the asshole. I’m legitimately concerned that we’re putting our lives at risk (and potentially destroying our ship!), and while my sister’s a really smart woman, obviously she’s keeping our speed and the actual status of the other ship a secret from the passengers. So I use my relationship with my sister to visit her on the bridge, cause a distraction, and broadcast our current speed and the status of the sinking ship across the entire ship.

So Reddit, help a girl out: who’s the asshole here, my sister (who might actually have killed us on our way to help that other ship) or me, literally just trying to save our lives? Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I’ve been lying to Brandon about what I’m up to via text message this whole time, but I felt like he didn’t really deserve to know. We’re not even in a relationship and this just wasn’t something I felt I had to involve him with. That was kind of asshole-y of me, but telling him the truth also would’ve been weird!

15. Share a line from your WIP that you’re proud of.

I love this exchange:

Then an AUDIO RECORDING: Mia hits play. Alby's a Southern girl--with a sailor's mouth. The roar of the ENGINE can be heard behind her.

Alby (v.o.): Y'all aren't going to believe this shit when you get up--I've never gone faster than 21 knots on a fucking cruise ship--I didn't think it was possible--oh, man, engine watch is having a night. Couple of officers came down here to oversee it. I'm just chilling till they tell me to suit up. (muffled--to others in the room) Hey, how fast are we going?

ENGINEER: (v.o.): Just passed 24 knots.

Alby (v.o.): Ho-ly shit.

END OF ACT

16. Share the most recent line from your WIP.

“Krida turns off the lights and they head out.“—wow that’s a boring line but at least I’m making progress on the script??

17. Share your top 3 strengths as a writer.

consistent idea generation, killer loglines, and sheer stubbornness to keep at this writing thing lol :’)

18. Share something about writing/craft you learned recently.

well, the other day I heard from a screenwriting/TV writing podcast that I should really have 6+ scripts in my pocket before striking out as a writer. which I am absolutely Not doing because I just have 2 scripts right now. oh well!!

19. You’re given a blank check to adapt a book or book series into a TV show, miniseries, film, or film series. What book/s do you choose and which medium do you use for the adaptation?

ooh okay I’ve LONG dreamed of adapting The Dark is Rising by Susan Cooper into an extended miniseries (like a few episodes for each book), but I also acknowledge that should really be done by a Welsh person because it’s so steeped in Welsh geography, culture, and mythology.

I would also KILL to do a Queen’s Thief film series but someone is already adapting it, and besides I don’t know if I’m smart enough to catch all the subtle winks and foreshadowing in those books!! so my real answer is maybe the Westmark books by Lloyd Alexander as a film trilogy :)

20. You can hang out with any living author for a day, who do you choose and what do you hope you’ll talk about?

TA Barron, author of the Lost Years of Merlin series. He seems like such a genuinely wholesome, smart, compassionate guy and I’d love to just bask in his wisdom and maybe take a nature hike with him tbh

21. What’s your ideal readership, publication, or writing career path for the next 5-10 years? (Sky’s the limit, but also fine if you don’t have publication as a goal!!)

I want to have an agent and be on a TV writing staff, writing spec features for fun. Ideally I’d make enough money from TV writing to not have a subsistence job on the side, ahaha. TV writing jobs are just like... you’re employed in a room for a few months and then the show ends and you have to scramble for another job or just be unemployed for a while? which sucks. but at least I’m walking into this career with no delusions of grandeur!!

22. You’re a ~famous writer~ who has a special muse-like relationship with an actor/actress (think Greta Gerwig and Saoirse Ronan.) Who is it and which of your characters do you cast them as?

Jessica Henwick is kind of already like this for me. I saw her in promo material for Iron Fist and went “wait that’s me” :’) (terrible show though, glad she’s onto better things these days.) I’d cast her as Iphigenia and Akēna and maybe Krida, though I’d be a little uncomfy with the age difference if Brandon’s actor is really 20+ years older lol, so I’d reconsider that if this were an actual thing

Side note: I’d also LOVE to cast Kelly Marie Tran and Lana Condor in everything!!!

23. Which of your characters is most likely to be voted prom king/queen/monarch?

I think I mentioned Blake Rosario Marquez in another ask as someone who would play wonderwall on an acoustic guitar just not knowing about the memey implications... everyone loves him and he’s very charming so he’s probably an easy bet for prom king!!

24. Which of your characters is most likely to go through life like Goob from Meet the Robinsons?

there’s one character in Iphigenia’s contemporary magic story, Hector Loren, who is 100% this. He’s the brother of the main villain and he feels horribly complicit in her evil deeds, though he did his best to limit the harm she caused. He’s convinced everyone hates him and he deserves it :(

25. If you make character or story moodboards, share a recent fave!

this is for my sweet, sad selkie character Bellan!

26. If you make character or story playlists, share the tracklist from a recent fave!

okay okay this is the angsty man who accidentally stole his lover’s selkie skin a decade ago and is now trying to make amends :’(

a playlist for rivke marhos (oh, my heart, i cannot face him now)

fear - sleeping at last, fallen empires - snow patrol, róróró - of monsters and men, the haunted man - bat for lashes, in my veins - andrew belle, sorrow - sleeping at last, i have made mistakes - the oh hellos, particles - ólafur arnalds and nanna bryndís hilmarsdóttir, shrike - hozier, falling slowly - marketa irglová and glen hansard, sudden love - the woodlands, oh love - phildel, if i knew - bat for lashes, leave the war with me - london grammar, place for us - mikky ekko, samson - regina spektor, ready to lose - ingrid michaelson, unbroken - birdy, union stone - phildel, everything i need - skylar grey, our corner of the universe - ks rhoads, we’ve only just begun - bat for lashes

27. One of your stories gets an amusement park/theme park attraction—what's it like? (Can be a ride, interactive theater event, ren faire-like immersive experience, etc...)

I ADORE the idea of interactive theater events for my stories, but a space cruise ship disaster a la Titanic sounds extremely traumatic?? probably not a good idea in general!

I would love to be able to “visit” my fantasy worlds, especially the city of Varvaris! it’s kind of Mont-Saint-Michel + Tashbaan from Narnia. People could dress up and go to the market and join a croquet tournament in the palace and go fishing at the docks... maybe sneak through the drainage tunnels and join up with various guilds and shadowy factions...??

28. Do your character names have meanings? If not, what are some faves and how did you come up with them? If yes, what are some fave character names and their meanings?

For contemporary stories, I often choose names with specific meanings or mythological/folkloric backgrounds. Iphigenia is a Greek tragic character, the daughter of Agememnon, whom Agamemnon sacrifices. (Is her destiny to die for her people? or can that be averted?)

Also because I’m an incorrigible writer of self-inserts, I will confess that I extrapolated the name Iphigenia from the nickname Nia, which I chose because it’s made of letters from my first name. Akēna is a mangled misspelling of my name backwards.

For fantasy/sci-fi stories, I’ll go with cool-sounding names drawn from specific linguistic backgrounds—I generally dislike just mashing sounds together without rhyme or reason. Rivke is kind of Dutch and Bellan is kind of Roman/Latin.

29. Which of your characters is most likely to start a podcast, and what's it on?

this is totally crack but I personally want to hear the “Akēna interviews important Star Wars characters she’s briefly run into” podcast. like she maybe has met Din Djarin and Grogu once, she and Bo-Katan are reluctant allies but also dislike each other (character bleed?? why i never—), she’s definitely heard of Luke Skywalker, etc... possibilities are endless

30. Is there a dream story/vibe for a story you want to write someday but haven't gotten around to yet?

SOMEDAY I’ll write my vaguely dystopian/futuristic King Arthur :(

[empress-of-snark]

Seven Comfort Movies

I was tagged by absolutely no one but I do not obey the laws of tagging during quarantine. I’m bored and I am making that everyone else’s problem.

1. Hugo (2011) - I just love this movie’s aesthetic, with the Parisian train station and the clocks and the music. Beautiful movie, all around. I always watch it when I’m feeling down.

2. Duck Soup (1933) and A Night at the Opera (1935) - Yes, I’m cheating, but they’re both Marx brothers, so it counts. These are probably the two most watched Marx movies in my family (and pretty well regarded by others as two of their best). They always bring me great joy to revisit.

3. The Holiday (2006) - I think it’s mostly the ideas of a relaxing Christmas vacation in a little English cottage vs. a fun getaway in a giant LA mansion that appeal to me so much here. I can never decide if I’d rather live in Iris’s house or Amanda’s. Or if I’d rather be romanced by hot single father Jude Law or genuine nice guy/movie nerd Jack Black.

4. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001) - I saw this movie long before I ever read the HP books and like the Marx brothers films, it’s very nostalgic for me. Also the first movie is by far the most accurate to the book, so there’s less for me to get irritated about while I watch.

5. Clueless (1995) - Sometimes I just need a ridiculous 90′s rom-com cheese fest based on a Jane Austen novel and, as far as I know, this is the only one that exists.

6. Treasure Planet (2002) - One of my absolute favorite animated movies ever and at this point, I’ve probably seen it enough times to be able to quote it word for word. Steampunk pirates in space, does it get better than this? No. Animation peaked in 2002.

7. Yesterday (2019) - Listen. LISTEN. I know people don’t like the Beatles anymore because cancel culture/rejecting anything boomers like blah blah blah but I love this movie! I love the Beatles, I love Lily James, and it’s a fun, feel good rom-com for people who aren’t music snobs and know that you’re allowed to like John Lennon’s music without liking him as a person.

(Honorable mentions: The Mummy, Megamind, The Breakfast Club, The Avengers, and Pacific Rim)

I tag the usual suspects @novi-la @nothingalarming and @finnskeeper

[aion-rsa]

Star Wars: What the Boba Fett Disney+ Series Could Be About

https://ift.tt/32uGNh3

Boba Fett has long been one of the most iconic and controversial characters in Star Wars. Thanks to a killer character design that launched a thousand cosplays, Boba Fett has long outlived the importance of his role–and unceremonious apparent death–in the Original Trilogy. But as most Star Wars fans know, those films are rarely the be all and end all of a Star Wars character’s story.

The Legends continuity of Expanded Universe books and comics spent a lot of time exploring Boba Fett’s later adventures after Return of the Jedi, and while those stories are no longer canon, it’s clear that Disney has long wanted to follow suit on screen — originally with a live-action movie and now with The Mandalorian. But it seems the infamous bounty hunter’s return won’t just be contained to one popular Disney+ series.

Deadline reports that there may also be a Boba Fett spin-off series in the works for the streaming service. You might be wondering just what that might look like. Well, we have some theories.

Stream your Star Wars favorites right here!

How Did Boba Get Out of that Sarlacc Pit? 

Ever since Boba Fett revealed himself in the final seconds of The Mandalorian‘s “The Passenger,” fans have been wondering just what he’s doing on the show. Played by Temuera Morrison, the actor who played Jango Fett and the clone troopers in the Prequel Trilogy, Boba Fett only appears briefly, watching from a cliff as Din Djarin and the Child zoom through the Tatooine desert, a permanent scowl on his scarred face.

It’s impossible to tell from this scene what exactly his motivations are at this point. We know The Mandalorian takes place five years after Boba Fett took a dive into the sarlacc pit, which probably means he’s been roaming the desert for quite a while since his escape. Why hasn’t he gotten his armor back after all of this time? And how did he escape the Great Pit of Carkoon in the first place? The Legends continuity endeavored to answer the latter question and it could possibly hint at the way Disney will approach the subject.

Boba Fett first escaped the sarlacc pit in the 1991 comic book event Dark Empire by Tom Veitch and Cam Kennedy. It’s revealed in the book that the bounty hunter’s armor protected him from the beast’s digestive system long enough for him to fight his way out. In the 1996 short story collection Tales From Jabba’s Palace, J.D. Montgomery penned a story about that very same escape. “A Barve Like That: The Tale of Boba Fett“ is a far-out story that reveals the bounty hunter was able to establish a telepathic connection with the sarlacc’s consciousness and use concussion grenades to blow up the monster’s insides. Then the 1998 novel The Mandalorian Armor by K.W. Jeter explored the direct aftermath of his escape, revealing that it was rival bounty hunter Dengar who found the half-dead Boba Fett in the desert and nursed him back to health.

In the past, Disney has canonized elements of the Legends continuity when they fit the modern timeline (see: Grand Admiral Thrawn), so it’s not too far-fetched to say we could see a version of the aforementioned stories at the start of a Boba Fett spin-off. For example, we’d love to see the show’s creative team adapt Montgomery’s completely unconventional take on the sarlacc escape. Imagine this as your pilot episode: the fierce bounty hunter suspended from the walls of the sarlacc’s intestines while in constant telepathic conversation with the creature that is currently digesting him. Sounds pretty cool, interestingly gross, and a big statement for a first episode. Plus, you’d finally get to see Boba Fett actually blow stuff up, something he didn’t have time to do in the movies that made him famous.

Mrs. Boba Fett & Boba Fett Jr. 

Seeing as in the Original Trilogy he was a true loner who was only really connected to Han Solo, Jabba the Hutt, and Darth Vader, it seems like there aren’t many people left in the saga who’d even remember who Boba Fett was, let alone welcome him back. But if Legends is any indication, it’s possible Boba actually has a family to turn to.

Published in the Legends comic Star Wars Tales #7, the story “Outbid But Never Outgunned“ follows Boba on a mission. But when he comes across Kiffar bounty hunter Sintas Vel, a dual blaster-wielding badass that he simply calls “Sin,” the shape of the tale changes. In a big final act reveal, we learn that the pair were once romantically involved and even had a child together. 

Read more

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There’s no reason Boba’s family couldn’t be reimagined for the new spin-off series. Maybe we could learn about a family Boba sired and loved after he escaped the pit? This would explain why the bounty hunter hasn’t left Tatooine after all of these years. Or this could be a story about the bounty hunter attempting to reconnect with his loved ones after his escape. There’s plenty to draw from in the stories that followed Tales #7, including one of my favorite tidbits–that Sintas was frozen in carbonite for almost 40 years and forgotten in the belongings of a space criminal. She was eventually saved by her granddaughter Mirta Gev decades after being imprisoned, so basically there are generations of incredible Fett women who could offer up a new perspective on this line of bounty hunters. 

Could Fett be looking for his family in the spin-off series? Maybe that’s what has put him on the path of Din Djarin? Or could Din’s hunt for fellow Mandalorians lead him to Sintas Vel or perhaps her daughter with Boba, Ailyn? Introducing Boba’s daughter would be a really cool twist, and while it’s unlikely we’ll see the characters directly adapted, many current Star Wars characters are heavily inspired by their Legends counterparts. We only need to look at how similar Ben Solo is to Jacen Solo, Han and Leia’s son in the old continuity, to see how easily Disney could do the same with Boba’s story. 

To the Sand or to the Stars? 

The lone wolf nature of the bounty hunter life means that Boba’s story will likely pick up at least some of the Western and Samurai-inspired storytelling we’ve seen done so well in The Mandalorian. After all, these influences are especially connected to Boba’s origin: George Lucas based the anti-hero on Sergio Leone’s Man with No Name. But if we look at the Legends stories in which Boba featured heavily, there’s also another rather exciting stylistic route that the series could go. 

Many of these Legends stories leaned into the sci-fi space operas–like Dune–that inspired the films. Space royalty, glittering intergalactic cities, intricate politics; basically that good pulpy science fantasy that would set the tone of a Boba show apart from The Mandalorian. With Mando already doing a great job at a Lone Wolf and Cub-inspired Samurai Western, maybe Boba Fett will be featured in more of a pure sci-fi adventure filled with nefarious alien princes, strange creatures, and exotic locales. 

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The other option is of course to focus on Boba’s career. The Mandalorian is very much a story about a reluctant hero and his beautiful adopted alien son going on a journey of self-discovery, which means there’s still space (heh heh) for a more procedural look at bounty hunting. Star Wars has a long tradition of playing with genre and tone, so it’s possible the spinoff will focus on the assassin/spy element of Boba’s character. A crime or target of the week would be a simple way to give fans the badass Boba Fett that they’ve always wanted to see on the screen. 

Of course, I still dream of an animated Boba Fett series, leaning into the Moebius-inspired 2D aesthetic of his first appearance in the much maligned Star Wars Holiday Special. For now, though, whichever route the creative team takes, it’s clear fans are thirsty for a proper Boba-centric story, especially one that will stay in canon for the foreseeable future.

The post Star Wars: What the Boba Fett Disney+ Series Could Be About appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[ravenkings]

Hey, what’s your favorite vampire movies? And werewolves movies?

i’m flattered that you’re interested in my opinion, anon! this is also one of my favorite topics to geek out about, so get ready…

vampire films (in no particular order):

- francis ford coppola’s dracula (1992) - not a particularly faithful adaptation of the novel and pretty absurd at times to boot, but the aesthetic is absolutely off the fucking chain and i love gary oldman’s take on dracula

-  interview with the vampire (1994) - a gorgeous and ridiculous vampire soap opera, and i love it to pieces. it’s sexy, it’s melodramatic, it will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will make you want to slap every single character in the face at some point, watch it!! lestat de lioncourt is tom cruise’s best role as well as one of my favorite fictional characters ever, so there’s that. 

- thirst (2009) - a korean film directed by park chan-wook. i’m surprised more people don’t talk about it bc it’s incredible and park chan-wook is a fairly well-known and highly regarded director. i haven’t seen it for a few years, but as i recall (and from checking the wikipedia page lol) it’s about a catholic priest who is in love with his neighbor’s wife and gets medically turned into a vampire. it’s very bloody and gory (even by the standards of a vampire film) and the ending is absolutely batshit. great if you love your vampires with a heavy helping of religious guilt (which tbh i think we all do). 

- nosferatu the vampyre (ger: nosferatu phantom der nacht) (1979) - werner herzog’s remake of f.w. murnau’s nosferatu (1922). i believe they did versions of this in both english and german. a very artsy take on the vampire film (re: herzog). really gorgeous and atmospheric. both klaus kinski and isabelle adjani give great performances and the soundtrack is incredible. just a really high quality film imo. 

- dracula (1931) - a classic obvi. basically required viewing if you’re into vampire films tbh. it’s fun and campy, and it shows you the origin of a lot of the classic vampire tropes and cliches. also bela lugosi’s performance is iconic.

- byzantium (2012) - directed by neil jordan who also directed interview with the vampire (dude knows his gothic horror imo). i love this film. it’s great as a vampire film but also as a compelling feminist mother/daughter story. it follows the life story, more or less, of a mother and daughter vampire duo who live on the english coast and move into an abandoned hotel to escape other (male) vampires who are trying to hunt them down. really well written with great performances all around.

- let the right one in (2008) - also a classic. a swedish film with a slightly more horror-oriented (?) take on the vampire story. follows the story of a boy named oskar who gets bullied at school and then strikes up a friendship with his mysterious neighbor, eli. things progress from there, as you can imagine. doesn’t follow a lot of the typical vampire story beats, which makes it p fresh and interesting imo. 

- only lovers left alive (2013) - directed by jim jarmusch and starring tom hiddleston, tilda swinton, john hurt, and mia wasikowska. obviously the cast is quite good and the aesthetics are incredible. tbh the plot is a bit self indulgent and didn’t totally grab me, but the film is so well made and acted that i kind of forgive it that. 

- what we do in the shadows (2014) - THE BEST. GENIUS. one of the funniest (if not the funniest) movies of the 2010s. a comedy and fake documentary about a group of vampire roommates in wellington, nz directed by and starring taika waititi and jemaine clement. not only is the film hilarious, but you can also tell that waititi and clement really know their vampire lore and use that knowledge to incredible effect here. every moment in this film is brilliant and so fucking funny and i stan it forever. the end. (they also made a really great tv series based off of it that is getting a second season!!!)

- vampire hunter d: bloodlust (2000) - like if you ever wanted a gothic post-apocalyptic space opera vampire anime, do i have the movie for you. based off of the vampire hunter d light novels and the anime. i don’t think you really need to be familiar with those to watch this (bc i certainly wasn’t lmao). the animation is really stunning and i love the world that this film takes place in. the plot basically follows d, a dhampir, who is a vampire hunter for hire and who is tracking down a woman who ran away with her vampire lover across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. as i said, i love the super unique fantasy world this story takes place in and it kind of makes me want to get more into the vampire hunter d franchise. 

- a girl walks home alone at night (2014) - an iranian film that also has a more feminist take on the vampire story, which we always love in this house. advertised (according to wikipedia) as “the first iranian vampire western”, so really, what’s not to love? filmed in black and white, it follows the story of a vampire girl who skateboards around a rundown city and kills shitty men and spends her spare time wearing cool striped shirts and listening to her record player. a legend tbh. 

- van helsing (2004) - okay, so this is not a “good” movie. like it’s actually really bad. but i love it. it’s completely ridiculous and fun. tbh the only reason it really makes it on to this list is for one scene (which you can find on youtube) and which i’m going to link here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJRGBmVOJ5I

like….i was obsessed with this scene when i was younger and was formative in a lot of ways….so yeah. 

as to werewolf movies, i’m going to be honest, i really don’t know a lot about them. i should watch more of them. however, one that i can recommend is:

the company of wolves (1984) - directed by our friend neil jordan and based off of the short story of the same name by angela carter (who also wrote the screenplay). kind of like little red riding hood seen through the eyes of david lynch and with a lot more sex. 

[hermannsthumb]

HORNY NEWT/HERMANN ASKS IVE GOTTEN since october PART TWO (there are like 50 here)

part one found here

18+ below cut

SECTION A: BIG DICK HERMANN

Anonymous said: (in ref to this fic) As ;) revenge ;) for Hermann lovingly teasing Newt about Newt's nature show as a child, Newt finds a safari hat and pretends to film a segment on The Rare and Lovely Hermann Mathematician. Stuff like "Much of the Hermann's appearance is used to attract a mate: his elegantly angular bone structure, his soft and brown doe eyes, his beautifully pale complexion, his impossibly long limbs, his thin frame perfect for cuddling and carrying, his enormous cock..." "NEWTON!" "You started this!"

Anonymous said: Okay but the first time Newt saw Hermann's dick, Newt came in his pants a little because Newt is a damn size queen and Hermann is hung asf. Newt just can't stop imagining pinning Hermann to the bed and riding that giant cock. Hermann doesn't even know that his dick is huge until Newt tells him it is. "Jeez, no wonder you wear those baggy grandpa pants. It must be a fucking hassle to find pants that fit comfortably over this behemoth."

Anonymous said: Newt convinces Hermann to wear short shorts while Hermann does yoga. Newt's shorts are a little baggy on Hermann, but Newt is still getting quite an eyeful (the shorts can't contain Hermann's massive dick. It's true and we both know it. Also Hermann has to wear extra soft tank tops when he does yoga, because of his extremely sensitive nipples)

SECTION B: roleplay.........

Anonymous said: (re: any number of herm centric sickfic/hospital fic ive written LOL i cant remember which) As soon as Hermann's all better, Newt still insists that Hermann take it easy. Newt puts on a slutty little nurse uniform and orders Hermann to "Please just lie back, Dr. Gottlieb. I believe a ~very thorough~ examination is in order. Just to be safe, of course." "Of course." "Poor dear! Are you nervous? Do you need to hold my hand?"

Anonymous said: Newmann and roleplay. Newt loves how passionate Hermann is about space. So Newt dresses up as a sexy alien (because of course Newt would) and asks Hermann (the very handsome human space explorer) to please undress. "My race is very curious to about human anatomy, Dr. Gottlieb. And with such an aesthetically pleasing specimen! Oh, how can I resist? Please? It's for science."

Anonymous said: One of the nicest surprises after they're married is that they both still have wet dreams about each other. Newt grinds up against Hermann's cute flat ass like "Oh, Professor Gottlieb, I'm so sorry! Please, I'll do anything to earn your forgiveness!"; and Hermann rubs his big dick against Newt's lovely bubble butt like "Oh, thank you, Doctor Geiszler, you're so kind to me! Please use me however you wish!" (Newt has a sexy professor kink and Hermann has a Newt controlling him kink.)

Anonymous said: Newt (greaser au or otherwise) SO has a thing for Hermann as a librarian. “Hermann, can I please dress you up as a slutty librarian? And then I’ll fuck you as hard as you like, as an apology. You know, because I’m a terrible patron. I’ve never returned a book on time, and I have a nasty habit of dog earrings pages.” “Is that so?” “Honestly, I don’t know WHY you put up with me. Don’t you want to give me a chance to make it up to you? I’m the ;)best;) at apologies.”

Anonymous said: I read your most recent newmann Halloween fic, and I *LOVE* the idea of them roleplaying with Hermann as the slutty little lab aid who needs Dr. Geiszler's firm hand to guide him. I can just imagine! "Mr. Gottlieb, would you like to explain why I caught you in the lab with your hand down your pants?" "Dr. Geizsler, I'm so sorry! *Please* don't report me!"

Anonymous said: I love that Newt says he loves dressing slutty for Hermann. That's such a Newt thing to say. Also, please consider Newt dressing as a slutty schoolgirl for Hermann. "Professor Gottlieb, PLEASE! I'll do anything to pass this class! I'm sorry for being so disruptive! I just wanted to get your attention. It's not my fault, Professor! I get all these naughty thoughts about you and then I can't concentrate!"

Anonymous said: Another anons have mentioned Newt having a professor kink, but you know what else Newt has? An ego. So sometimes, NEWT is the professor. So sometimes Hermann will come to Newt. & Hermann's dressed like a proper British schoolboy. & Hermann's like "Professor Geiszler, *PLEASE* dont fail me! I'll earn extra credit ~however~ I can!" & Hermann bats his long beautiful eyelashes. & Newt's like "Well, come here and prove your eagerness to learn, Mr. Gottlieb." And Hermann is a good, obedient schoolboy.

Anonymous said: omg. that ask that referenced phantom of the opera. newt donning a mask and cape and entering the bedroom like "my dearest hermann...i have come to steal you away" "have you now?" "yes! you shall be mine and mine alone forever!" "oh, how positively dreadful" "you will come with me now! come with me and let me ravish you as you deserve to be ravished!" and hermann is so fondly amused. "oh dear, i suppose i have no choice. i'll do whatever you ask of me, mr. phantom, sir."

SECTION C: Newt’s Butt

Anonymous said: Newton using his adorable bubble butt to his advantage. Bending over in from of Hermann. Asking Hermann to get something from his (Newt's) back pocket (because "sorry, my hands are full"). Newt's favorite way to tease Hermann is to ask "Can you check my butt for panty lines? My jeans are really tight, and I wore those panties you really like, and I just wanna make sure they aren't visible. *bends over to display his butt* Make sure you're REAL thorough when you check."

Anonymous said: NEWTON: Imma get "Property of Hermann" tattooed on my ass. // HERMANN: Please don't. // NEWTON: I'm not gonna, lol. I just wanted to see your reaction. But seriously - this? *smacks his own ass* Is totally your property, babe.

vitamine-dude said: Chalk anon is good.... Also... Hermann slapping Newt's ass with the palm of his hand covered in chalk... 👀 😂

Anonymous said: Hermann has a love-hate relationship with Newt's skinny jeans. He loves them because his Newty got a booty, but also? How is poor Hermann supposed to get any work done with such a lovely distraction? "Aw, poor Herms! Is my ass keeping you from your work? Maybe my butt need to be taught a lesson. You could always use your big sexy hands." "You could at least TRY to be subtle!"

SECTION D: HERMANN’S butt

Anonymous said: Hermann can never wear his skinny jeans out in public because Hermann in skinny jeans renders Newt incapable of keeping his grabby little hands off Hermann's cute little butt.

Anonymous said: Hermann can't get over how gorgeous and adorable Newt looks in his sexy-slutty little Oktoberfest dirndl. "Newton, your skirts just BARELY cover your rear!" "How's that a problem? Yesterday you said my ass was, and I quote, 'plump and perfectly round'." "You are still being indecent!" "Aww, what are you gonna do? Put me over your knee? By the way, is that something I can do to you? Will your leg be okay if I put you over my knee? Because I'd *LOVE* to spank your adorable little flat butt."

SECTION E: you guys are ALSO really horny for hermann’s nips (no judgement whatsoever...very *chefs kiss*

Anonymous said: The moment Newt discovers how sensitive Hermann's nipples are, Newt is merciless. Newt will just spend his sweet time nosing at and nuzzling and licking and kissing and nibbling at Hermann's nipples. Meanwhile, poor Hermann is a panting, writhing mess, just begging Newt to please touch him where he needs to be touched. "Oh, Hermann! All this just from me playing with your cute little nipples? You're adorable. Oh, such a sweet, needy boy, aren't you?"

Anonymous said: Hermann wear baggy shirts and sweaters because he has sensitive nipples. If his shirts are too tight, then he can't concentrate on anything besides the feel of the fabric against his nipples. Once he and Newt get together, and Newt figures this out, Newt is always trying to get Hermann to wear tight shirts, at least in their quarters/apartment/house. Also, Newt likes to tease Hermann by tying him to the bed and running a feather over Hermann's nipples.

Anonymous said: Once newmann get together, it doesn't take long for Newt to figure out how sensitive Hermann's nipples are, a fact that Newt very happily exploits. Newt's such a little shit about it too. He'll run his tongue of Hermann's nipples until Hermann is writhing uncontrollably and begging Newt to please PLEASE fuck him already. "I dunno, babe, you seem awfully worked up. Maybe I should wait until you've calmed down a little." "Newton, PLEASE!" (1/2) (2/2) Also Newt loves to tease Hermann about this. "Alright, whatever you say, baby. Such a sensitive boy, aren't you? Seriously, all I have to do is LOOK at your cute little nipples and you start begging me to please fuck your cute little ass." "Newton!" "No need to blush, we both know it's true. Now come on, legs over my shoulders, that's it, that's a good boy."

SECTION F: more dominant/possessive (like in a sexy way) newt

Anonymous said: Hermann really really loves bottoming/submitting from time to time. Just letting Newt pick him up and move him so Newt can have his way with Hermann. Especially when it comes to roleplaying scenes where Newt says things like "You're too pretty to be such a naughty slut." and "You're being so good, taking me so well, you're such a good boy." and "You're always wound so tight, let's see if we can't fuck some of that stress out of you, handsome."

Anonymous said: One of Hermann's biggest kinks? Having Newt fuck him good and hard, while Newt says things like " 'Dr. Gottlieb', ha! Anyone with any observational skills at all knows you by your more appropriate title: Dr. Geiszler's precious, pretty little sweetheart. You're a brilliant scientist and mathematician, obviously, but you're also obviously MINE. Do you hear me, Hermann? You're my pretty boy. Just mine. I don't share my beautiful, brilliant boy with anyone. You're all mine."

Anonymous said: Hermann doesn't actually WANT to be caught, but he loves the idea, the sexy little fantasy, of someone seeing him being fucked hard by Newt, because he loves being Newt's and having everyone know that he's Newt's. Newt teases him about it sometimes. "Aw, you big softie! You just want everyone to know that you're mine, that's so sweet. Maybe I'll start writing 'Property of Newt' on the back of all your pants. Then everyone will know that the world's prettiest mathematician is mine and mine alone"

Anonymous said: Whenever they have to get a hotel room or make a reservation at a restaurant, Hermann always puts the reservation under the name "Hermann Geiszler", because he knows it's the easiest way to get Newt to fuck him good and hard. Newt loves it. "You may still be Hermann Gottlieb legally, but in reality? You're absolutely Hermann Geiszler. You're my man, my husband, my pretty boy. Only mine, right?" "Yes, of course, only yours." "Good boy, Hermann. Now let's get you undressed."

SECTION G: miscellaneous

Anonymous said: Precursor Hermann, but Newt does believe for a second that Hermann would leave him without so much as a goodbye. Newt's all "Look, whatever forces are possessing the love of my life! Hermann is a gentleman! He might be a cranky, irritable, bitchy old dude, but he would NEVER leave me without saying so! Hermann just doesn't operate like that! So! Y'all wanna get out of my man, or do I need to fuck you outta him? I mean, he's getting fucked by me anyway; I just wanna know the order of events here"

Anonymous said: omg if hermann ever said the word "dude", newt would just immediately drop to his knees and ask hermann if he could pretty please unzip his pants and let newt suck his dick pretty pretty please

Anonymous said: (re: this comic) That comic reminded me of one of my fave newmann headcanons: after their first time having sex together, Hermann is utterly MORTIFIED because he was so damn loud. Honestly, Hermann always thought screaming during sex was an exaggeration. Then he had sex with Newt. And he learned that it is NOT an exaggeration. "Newton, oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!" "Sorry?! Baby, are you sorry? That was so hot. Imma work to make you scream again and again and again and again forever."

Anonymous said: Hermann USED to wear boxers, but Newt insists on Hermann wearing tighty-whiteys because "I don't want your underwear covering any more of your sexy legs than is necessary. I gotta have those hot supermodel legs exposed, baby. They demand to be groped."

Anonymous said: (re: this fic i think....) Newt-on-painkillers asks a nurse "Hey, where's the hottie with the sexy sharp cheekbones?" & the nurse is like "He stepped out to get you a snack. I didn't understand everything he said, but he definitely mentioned some kind of German pastry." "Holy shit, he's the perfect man." (When Hermann finally gets to take Newt home, Newt's in the passenger seat all "As soon as we're in our bedroom, I'm gonna ride your dick so good, baby. No amount of painkillers could make me forget how to fuck you good."

Anonymous said: Ur fic abt newmann making a porn reminded me of 1 of my fav newmann headcanons: Newt loves to tease Hermann abt what a successful porn star he (H) would be. "Oh, just think of how much money I could make frm recording u: sexy physicist fingers himself! Adorable scientist begs to be fucked! Pretty lil mathematician begs for permission to come! Willowy scientist gets his nipples played with&wakes up the entire country with his slutty lil screams! Scientist presents his ass for a thorough fucking!"

Anonymous said: (no additonal commentary required) Newt: I'm young, dumb, and full of cum!

Anonymous said: Hermann managing to fuck the Precursors out of Newton, who tries to have Hermann awarded some sort of medal of valor.

Anonymous said: One time Newmann tried switching it up, having Newt ignore Hermann while Hermann pleasured Newt. It didn't work because Newt has no self control and he wouldn't stop petting Hermann's hair and moaning and hollering about how good and pretty and perfect Hermann is.

Anonymous said: (re i think this fic? i write so much hospital bedside fic...) The first time they have sex after Newt's finally been released from medical, Hermann is just all kinds of sweet and gentle with him. "Is this too much, darling?" and "Calm yourself, liebling. Let me do the work." and "Slow down, sweet boy. You're going to hurt yourself." Eventually Newt's like "I'm not gonna break, babe! Lemme just..." "Shh, next time you can be as rough as you want with me." "Promise?" "I promise." "Next time I'm gonna fuck you so hard, baby."

Anonymous said: Newton making it his new job to make sure that Hermann has ALL of his needs seen to is my new jam. Like, he's still objectively obnoxious but now with a side order of willingness to fuck his math husband raw whenever he asks for it.

Anonymous said: Newt riding Hermann's dick and, between sighs & moans & gasps, saying all the sappy lovey-dovey things he wants with Hermann. "We're gonna have a cute little cottage somewhere secluded with lots of cats! And I'll chop plenty of firewood to keep you warm! I'll be your personal lumberjack! All I'll provide you with all the beautiful dresses and warm clothes you could ever need! And we'll have a huge library! And you'll want for nothing!" And Hermann's just like "Yes, that sounds perfect, darling."

Anonymous said: Newt bending Hermann over a desk/their bed. Gently petting Hermann's hair and softly kissing Hermann's shoulderblades. All while he (Newt) pounds into Hermann's sexy flat ass. "Hermann baby you feel so good I love you so much I love all your little gasps and moans and how you can't keep your hips still and you're always so beautiful but this is the beauty that only I get to see when you're a wild moaning mess oh god you're gonna get the nicest bath after this get you all cleaned up for bedtime."

Anonymous said: (re: this ask) Oh man imagine how absolutely slutty Newton would get on Snapchat if he thought that Hermann wasn't picking up what he was laying down (meanwhile Hermann is going through multiple boxes of tissues because of the constant blood nose, he's constantly in a state of arousal, everything reminds him of Newton, just hearing the Snapchat notification is enough to turn him on).

Anonymous said: Newt usually loves parties, but once he and Hermann get together, he always passes on new year's parties. Like, why go to a new year's party when he could instead ring in the new year by fucking Hermann senseless? And of course spoiling him in all kinds of soft sweet ways as well.

Anonymous said: NEWT: "Hermann, babe, I know you're not as into Halloween as I am, but do I still get my Halloween ;)treat;) from you?" HERMANN: "...You might, if I had any idea what you're referring to." NEWT: "Ugh, how can you be so smart, and still so clueless? I want to blow you!" HERMANN: "Oh! Well, far be it from me to object..." NEWT: "But I wanna dress you up first! Because it's in the Halloween spirit, and also I found an extra lacy corset that I really REALLY wanna see you in!" Also, Newt's biggest weakness in regards to Hermann in corsets, is Hermann in corsets with big bows on the lower back. Newt loves anything that draws attention to Hermann's precious, perfect flat butt.

Anonymous said: A while ago you said something about Newt having both a praise kink AND a shame kink, and I think Hermann would be perfect at fulfilling Newt's needs there. "Newton, you're such a sweet and pretty boy. Why do you insist on acting like such a little tart?" and "There we are, darling. Can you come for me like the sweet, filthy boy you are?" and "You're such a darling little slut."

Anonymous said: Newt totally gets panties that say "Property of Doctor Hermann Gottlieb"

[scrapsofsky]

I have once more (and a very long time ago) been challenged by Ian Sales to join him in our un-named war to come up with the best arbitrary list of films within an equally arbitrarily selected category. You can find previous iterations of this absurdity here, here, here, here, and here. We have, alas, not done this in a long while, which we can both blame on being busy with many other things.

But in the interest of rekindling silliness, I have been loosely challenged by Ian to come up with a list of 10 underrated SF/F films from the last 20 years, which is a direct response to this ScreenRant list. Since this list is in response to a link with a remarkably open prompt, I’ve opted to stick to the 10 item list format. Future challenges will go back to our favorite number:  5.

Ian, of course, has already dropped his list. Go check it out!

With that in mind, the following list of 10 films represent my attempt to put together films that I consider to be overrated. My criteria is fairly simple:

It must be a SF/F film released since 1999.

It must be underrated in the sense that it is underappreciated by the SF/F community or has largely been forgotten. Box office numbers may be part of the equation, but mostly I will go on my own interactions with the SF/F community and sadly arbitrary interpretations of what has been “lost” to everyday discourse.

I literally don’t care if the movies I pick are considered “good” by other people, and so I’ve picked films that I think are interesting for some reason or another. This inevitably means that you will hate my list and wish me to fall into a pit of endless fire.

So, without further adieu, here’s my list:

The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)(dir. Makoto Shinkai)

One of my first academic essay publications focused on this film, which should tell you how much I enjoy it. Kumo no Mukō, Yakusoku no Basho is, in my opinion, Makoto Shinkai’s magnum opus. A story of friendship, betrayal, and love. A story of the Cold War, imperial control, and out of control technology. Shinkai’s method of storytelling is remarkable:  low key and vibrant, emotionally tense and freeing. In a world where Hayao Miyazaki is considered the King of Japanese Animation, Shinkai’s work has sadly not received the appreciation it deserves — Kumo no Mukō, Yakusoku no Basho especially.

The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)(dir. David Twohy)

I strongly considered putting 2000’s Pitch Black here instead, but I think that film, while perhaps a bit underrated today, has received considerable praise. Its sequel, The Chronicles of Riddick, however, has often been derided for one reason or another. Unfairly, in my opinion. From its Gothic (with a side of emo) aesthetic to its expansion of the Riddick universe into a sprawling space opera to its total commitment to the gritty, morally ambiguous treasure trove of dirty, grungy themes, places, and characters, The Chronicles of Riddick is easily one of my favorite science fiction films of the last 20-ish years. Plus, the cast is fantastic. This is a hill I’m willing to die on. (Also:  I look forward to checking out Furya and Merc City in the near future!)

Night Watch and Day Watch (2004 and 2006)(dir. Timur Bekmambetov)

I’m counting these as one because it’s my list and I can do what I want. This Russian duology is based on Sergey Lukyanenko urban fantasy novels about the conflict between two supernatural factions who monitor the actions of one another as part of an uneasy truce. Part detective thriller and part dark fantasy, the films pack quite a punch. However, outside of the circuit of foreign film lovers within SF/F, they’ve largely flown under the radar, this despite starring well known Russian actor Konstantin Khabensky. If you’ve never seen these films, you owe it to yourself to watch them, even if for no other reason than to watch someone drive a sports car across the face of an apartment complex!

Sunshine (2007)(dir. Danny Boyle)

I considered putting Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later here instead, but I don’t think that film is actually all that underrated even if it doesn’t get as much play today as it did a decade ago. Sunshine, however, has spent most of its existence floating between general praise for its visuals and premise and general dislike for its second act. And, yes, it is a spectacularly gorgeous film, but that second act is, in my opinion, far more interesting than most people are willing to admit. Turning a space thriller into a horror film as a commentary on the paradoxical frailty and strength of the human spirit is, in my opinion, a gutsy move. For me, that move pays off, and it’s one of the reasons I think this film has remained underrated. It doesn’t follow the pattern these stories usually follow. It’s basically Armageddon if that film took itself seriously and Rockhound actually went insane. And that makes it an infinitely more interesting film.

Upgrade (2018)(dir. Leigh Whannell)

If you didn’t get a chance to see Upgrade, you’re missing out. This sleeper scifi action thriller had some of the most compelling fight choreography and shot compositions of 2018, and yet it flew under the radar. I had the good fortune to see the film in theaters; the experience did not disappoint. Much of the fight choreography relied on some impressive camera trickery to follow the lead actor’s movements, giving the entire film a robotic and wonky feel. It’s truly exciting to watch, and I wish more people had had the opportunity to do so in an actual theater. Because it’s gorgeous on the big screen!

Push (2009)(dir. Paul McGuigan)

I will watch almost anything with Djimon Hounsou in it. Push is one of those forgotten little films that takes a less in-your-face approach to the whole super powers concept. In this world, people with powers are test subjects or hidden in plain sight, monitored by a nefarious organization with equally nefarious intents. By comparison to the typical superhero film we have today, Push is quite restrained, relishing in the quirks and trickery of its list of powers and giving actors like Dakota Fanning the space to place (watching her drunkenly stumble around is kinda fun). It’s an imperfect film to be sure, but one that I still love.

Hulk (2003)(dir. Ang Lee)

I’m going to catch hell for this, but Ang Lee’s Hulk is one of my favorite superhero movies to date. I even prefer it to that other Hulk film by a long mile. Lee does give us some of the stuff you expect from a superhero film (big fight scenes and visual spectacle), but I particularly love the softer focus on Banner and his mental state. It feels more like a film that is trying to say something about human nature than a film stuck in an endless action sequence or caught up in villainy for the sake of villainy. For me, that means the film takes more chances with its performance and themes. And I’m always more compelled by the film that tries to do something interesting and failed than I am by the alternative.

Another Earth (2011)(dir. Mike Cahill)

Independent cinema has a tendency to produce some truly introspective and powerful films. Another Earth is no exception. A film about loss, guilty, love, and second chances, Another Earth‘s science fiction premise (a mirror Earth) is really just background, offering an opportunity in the conclusion and lending weight to the central thematic of loss and guilt as the romance between the protagonists comes head-to-head with a secret that threatens to tear them apart. The narrative is at times quite haunting, but it also commands us to think more deeply about what it means to seek forgiveness, to seek second chances, to live with loss, and so on. And if you like this one, Sound of My Voice (2011) is a far creepier film about cults that also stars Brit Marling!

Dredd (2012)(dir. Pete Travis)

We will never get an adaptation of Judge Dredd that is as good as 2012’s Dredd. A vicious, unrelenting and dark film, Dredd is one of those films that desperately deserves more credit than it has thus far received. Karl Urban’s performance is textbook perfection, and Travis’ direction gives this a brutally honest tone. And unlike its predecessor adaptation, Dredd isn’t endlessly mockable; instead, it is a visually arresting satire that makes most action thrillers look tame. There are few films on this list that I would say are perfect. Dredd is one of them.

The Cat Returns (2002)(dir. Hiroyuki Morita)

Studio Ghibli gets a lot of well-deserved love for its many Hayao Miyazaki films (my favorite Miyazaki is actually Mononoke Hime / Princess Mononoke). But one film the studio doesn’t get enough credit for is the utterly delightful Neko no Ongaeshi / The Cat Returns (or The Cat’s Repayment). It’s an Alice in Wonderland type tale (or tail, heh) about a young girl who gets sucked into the secret world of cats. Calling this film delightful is an understatement. It is downright adorable, and it has been sadly overshadowed by Ghibli’s many other exceptional productions. But if you’re looking for a cute (and sometimes hilarious) fantasy adventure involving talking cats, The Cat Returns is the film for you.

And that’s it. That’s my list. I could add many other films here, but I’ve limited myself to ten.

Now for a challenge to Ian and anyone else who wants to take it:  pick your five favorite films featuring talking animals! Go!

It's time for another #FilmChallenge. @ian_sales challenged me to come up with 10 underrated SF/F films released between 1999 and 2019. So here's my list! :D I have once more (and a very long time ago) been challenged by Ian Sales to join him in our un-named war to come up with the best arbitrary list of films within an equally arbitrarily selected category.

[nbbkatherine]

A Year in Review

Saga by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples; Polar 2019 Jonas Åkerlund film; The Imitation Game 2014 Morten Tyldum film; Kingsman: The Secret Service 2014 Matthew Vaughn film; The Hanging Gardens of Beatenberg by Beatenberg; O Human Star by Blue Delliquanti; Lucifer television series; 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami; Carnival Row television series; Chicago Art Book Fair; Romeo + Juliet 1996 Baz Luhrmann film; Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 1986 John Hughes film

October marks one year of Never Be Bored! In celebration, here’s twelve more things for the twelve posts of this year to add to your queue.

Really Big Worms is where it all began, with three sci fi novels and a webcomic. As I wrote in that post, I’ll read just about anything with a Hugo nomination, and a year later, I’ve still never been let down. So don’t just take my word for it, the volumes of Saga by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples have been nominated for the Hugo Award for Best Graphic Story six times. If that’s not a strong enough reason to check out this epic space opera masterpiece, I don’t know what is.

I kind of love those larger than life bad guys from Baby Driver, featured in Floor It. For more characters with a strong dedication to the Aesthetic and also to guns, try Polar, streaming on Netflix. Mads Mikkelsen is fabulous as an assassin who just wants to retire in peace, goddammit. 

In On Computability I recommended a book on a math paper by Alan Turing, but he’s probably more well-known for his work helping to break codes during WWII and developing the field of artificial intelligence. Although it’s not strictly historically accurate, The Imitation Game is still a really lovely film about Turing’s life, the kind of movie that reminds you why we make movies. And don’t worry, there’s far less math than there is in The Annotated Turing. 

If you liked the impeccably dressed murderesses of Non je ne regrette rien, then you might like the fashionably attired gentlemen spies of Kingsman: The Secret Service. It’s a funny action movie, with a lot of characters in really well tailored suits, what more can I say.

I feel like Elio from Call Me By Your Name, featured in Is it better to speak or die?, might like The Hanging Gardens of Beatenberg by Beatenberg. Something about the song “The Prince Of The Hanging Gardens” in particular reminds me of Elio and Oliver’s relationship, but I adore that whole album, some of the lyrics are absolute poetry.

In The R Smith Edition I recommend a queer sci fi webcomic with gorgeous single color art. If you’re into that, definitely try O Human Star by Blue Delliquanti. It’s got amazing world building and so much diversity, and it has robots which is always a plus.

If your favorite parts of Worm, featured in All Superheroes Need Therapy, were the chapters where some of these characters actually got therapy, you might like the TV show Lucifer, about the literal devil taking a vacation in LA to solve crimes, and also getting therapy. Currently on Netflix.

As the story of Mr. Nobody unfolds, we jump between alternate timelines; the three movies and book of Nonlinearity can get unsettling at times in the way they play with time and memory. If you liked those recommendations, try 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami, a dystopian mystery love story whose main character Aomame one day realizes she’s slipped into a parallel world.

Altered Carbon, featured in To Whom Am I Speaking?, is a slightly cheesy sci fi show with probably more swearing and nudity than is necessary, but whatever, I love the concept of it. Carnival Row, streaming on Amazon Prime, is basically the same, but fantasy—just one extended metaphor for racism but with magical creatures. It might not win any Emmys any time soon, but it’s entertaining and fun to binge.

If you liked reading Helicon, featured in The Northwestern Edition, then you might enjoy going to Chicago Art Book Fair, this incredible three day event that brings independent artists and printers from all over to the Windy City. This November will be its third year, and I can’t wait to go again!

In Art Curious, featured in The Eye of the Beholder, we learn about art that was considered scandalous in the time and place of their creation, in ways we may not easily realize now. Shakespeare can have a reputation today of being super sophisticated, but back in the sixteenth century his plays were pop culture. Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet reimagines the classic play in Verona Beach and does a wonderful job staying true to the original while being totally over the top and camp.

In Next!, I described the plays of the Neo-futurists of Chicago sometimes serious, sometimes funny, maybe musical, fourth-wall-breaking. I could apply the same description to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, one of my favorite movies of all time. I think Ferris would make a great neo-futurist. 

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

I had a friend create a 10-category, 50-question Harry Potter trivia quiz for my 30th birthday. I have a Ravenclaw tattoo that takes up most of my right forearm. I’ve helped orchestrate an HP-themed baby shower. I’ve held multiple HP movie marathons. And when we were first dating and Wife told me she’d never read the books, I legitimately cried and then blocked it from my memory. When she told me for the second time, months later, I cried again. 

One could say I’m a fan of the wizarding world. 

So here we are, at the second entry in the second wizarding franchise, and the only question really worth answering is, is this a world that’s still worth visiting? Well...

Imagine someone you love - it could be anyone, but as an example I’ll use your best friend. Imagine your BEST friend, whom you’ve shared so much with, whom you’ve gone through ups and downs with. That one. Now imagine that every few months, your best friend’s mom sends you a text, or calls you, or puts up a billboard in your town that seems to be actively trying to get you to hate your best friend. Things like “She kicks puppies” or “One time, she made fun of a homeless man until he cried” or “She told me she wants to set fire to a hospital.” Like, real fucked up stuff. Would you maintain a relationship with that friend? With them both? Or would you cut ties completely and just hold onto the memories of the friendship you used to have?

I’m genuinely asking, because J.K. Rowling seems hellbent on shitting all over the things I love in some twisted effort to make me utterly baffled and repulsed by the world she has created. I never thought I’d say this, but Johnny Depp is the least of this movie’s problems, so welcome to Whose Crime Is It Anyway? where the timelines are made up and the plot points don't matter.

A spoilery summary! Our favorite Hufflepuff Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) is asked by Hot Dumbledore (Jude Law) to go to Paris and find Credence (Ezra Miller). You remember Credence, the sweet emo boy from the first movie whose death functioned as the climax of the film? JK JK death is meaningless and impermanent here! It’s the roaring 20s, everyone’s drunk. Newt needs to find him because Grindelwald (Johnny Depp, doing his best impression of day-old potato salad) is also looking for him. Credence is the subject of a prophecy that everyone’s familiar with but the audience, you see, and he’s currently trapped in a Parisian street circus with a woman/snake named Nagini (Claudia Kim, and yes, THAT Nagini). Jacob and Queenie (Dan Fogler and Alison Sudol) also show up again, because they were in the first movie too so they have to be here for this. Jacob’s memory has been restored because...~handwavey reasons~ and Queenie decides to join The Mayonnaise Man’s cause as a wizard Nazi because...she wants to marry a Muggle. Somehow I think she didn’t read the whole orientation flyer. Leta Lestrange (Zoe Kravitz) is engaged to Newt’s brother, Theseus (Callum Turner) but is mostly hanging around to look sad and reveal that Credence couldn’t be her long-lost brother because she killed her long-lost brother by switching him with another baby on a ship right before it sank at sea. And she’s right, Credence isn’t her brother - he’s gone over to the dark side, where the vaguely human amalgamation of cauliflower rice tells him he’s the long-lost brother of Albus Dumbledore! Because why the fuck not, nothing else in this goddamn thing makes any sense anyway.

I would also like to point out I left out at least 40 more characters, many of whom seem to be important but are never named or introduced in any way.

SEVERAL thoughts:

Visually, this world is stunning. The set designers have done an incredible job showcasing new magical settings in rich, vivid detail. The Parisian street circus and the French Ministry of Magic building were particular favorites of mine.

Likewise, the 1927-era costumes are drop-dead gorgeous. This franchise should really be called Fantastic Coats and Where to Find Them.

50 galleons seems so steep. I wonder what the wizarding inflation rate is.

Snakes can fit through bars of cages...

Performances - Redmayne is sweet, but virtually shoved out of the way in his own franchise; Kravitz is cold and removed - is that acting choice secret pain or constipation? Hard to say; Fogler is underutilized, especially after being the emotional MVP of the first film; Sudol is fractured and manic, completely devoid of her earnest warmth from before; Miller barely gets 3 lines, and mostly looks like he’s about to cry; Law is fine as hell and kindly and wise and doesn’t give off weird “I’m going to use children as sacrificial lambs without telling them or anyone else about it” vibes, so that’s already a big step up from the Dumbledore we get in the books; and then there’s Johnny. Johnny “lightly braised tofu” Depp is giving one of his most understated performances in years, to the point that he’s almost...boring? Most genocidal fuckheads are at least compelling speakers, but this dehydrated turnip just sort of glides about, while his followers do dastardly things for him. He doesn’t even kill his own toddlers, he outsources it to his followers. Does nobody believe in honest, hard work anymore? 

Basically all of the details - the set dressing, the costumes, the overall aesthetics and feel of the film - are beautifully realized. However, the foundation is made of smoke and sand and the distant sound of JKR’s maniacal laughter.

Cast and endorse an accused abuser who is teetering on the brink of public collapse? Check. Include outdated Orientalism cliches by casting an East Asian woman as mysterious, dangerous, and literally snake-like? Check. How about a white imperialist Imperius-ing Leta Lestrange's (black African) mother and literally forcing her into sex slavery with no follow-up or reflection on the part of the film or its characters? Check. It’s like some sort of perverse bingo game she’s playing to try to alienate everyone who might have seen themselves in the Harry Potter universe as belonging, because they understood what it was like to be an outsider, to be abused, to be shunned and made fun of and ostracized. Cause fuck all those people, amirite?

And that’s just the offensive choices from a purely political standpoint. How about the offensive choices regarding more trivial matters like linear time and space - like Dumbledore teaching Transfiguration, not DAtDA. Or like Professor MacGonagall being born in 1935, yet somehow teaching at Hogwarts in 1927. People apparating inside Hogwarts. Complete reversals of characters’ personalities and motivations. Characters being introduced and never seen again (where did Bunty go?? Did she die???) Characters NOT being introduced and never seen again (what up Jessica Williams, super psyched that you’re here, sure would be neat if I knew who the fuck you were playing or why that person was important!) If the references are meant for fans’ benefit, it fucking BACKFIRED, because most HP fans I know aren’t looking for a convoluted soap opera where babies are switched, people have secret brothers, everyone's amnesia gets reversed, and people come back from the dead.

Now that I think about it, the practice of confronting a boggart is super problematic. Like people have traumas. It's not all spiders and snakes, Dumbledore! God, Hogwarts pedagogy is shit.

I’m still not convinced that Jude Law’s tasty Daddy Dumbledore could possibly still be in love with this tuna salad sandwich from a vending machine at the DMV. That flashback in the Mirror of Erised is supposed to be full of longing but all I could think was, “is this how straight people think gay sex works?” Would have loved to hear that day in the writer’s room. “Maybe we could have them kiss?” “Too gay. What if they exchange blood vows and hold hands to form a magical amulet?” “Nailed it.” *everyone high fives and chugs a Red Bull* 

There’s just...so much. So much that I wish were different. I don’t quite know how it’s possible for a film to explain both too much and not enough, but here we are. The Crimes of Grindlewald isn’t just a title, it’s a prophecy of what audiences are forced to endure here - it’s not just separating art from artist, it’s not just cultural exploitation and othering, it’s not just queer erasure, it’s not just overplotted and underwhelming narrative, it’s not just cheap shocks and winking references. The rap sheet just keeps getting longer and longer, and I have to wonder when, if ever, Rowling will atone for these crimes.

[afsaneh-jaan]

21 Questions

I go tagged by dear @xxekmrxx​ and reappear out of hazy obscurity to answer these questions.

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

I’ll tag @countessatrinava, @daddy-satrinava, @kaia-is-ohana, @eyersflrs, @kittypugface and those are all i can think of atm

Nickname: (I’m usually called by my given name, since it’s a short one) Mo, Momo, Moni, Monski, Mönchen, and a friend used to call me love bug

Zodiac: Cancer

Height: 5'3.5″

Last movie I saw: I don’t remember... I’m usually watching series, so the last film was probably a cheesy christmas film I watched with my family

Last thing I googled: (how to find your search history lol) uh... probably how to say a certain number in Italian

Favorite Musicians: Florence + the Machine, Hozier, Bastille, Alana Henderson, Bishop Briggs, OMAM, Marina and the Diamonds (or is it only Marina at this point?), Von Wegen Liesbeth... and a bunch of other people. The first four are like the core group and then there is a constantly fluctuating group of other artists around them.

Song stuck in my head: LL Cool J - Mama Said Knock You Out (because of b99)

Other blogs: I’d rather not share them. I like keeping my blogs separate, that’s why I have different accounts for blogs as opposed to just creating side blogs. Just know that this is a main blog, but it isn’t my main blog. I have two others I use more frequently than this one.

Do I get asks: I used to get a bunch when I was more active, but none at the moment. Maybe that’ll change once I’m more active on here again. I’ve certainly always enjoyed them.

Following: 61 (I’m picky and also I’m trying to look for as much Nadia exclusivity as possible)

Followers: 536 (oh wow, I haven’t checked this in a long time - thank you so much guys! I hope I can make this blog worth following again soon)

Amount of sleep: Amount I get or amount I need? Cause those numbers are currently not quite the same. I need 8 - 9 hours of sleep and I get like 6 - 7 at the moment.

Lucky number: I don’t know if it’s my lucky number, but it is widely considered one of the luckiest and it’s also one of my favorites: 7

What I’m wearing: mismatched socks, black high waist pants with buttons instead of a zipper and belt, tasty pink cropped sweater with zippered high collar and black and white stripes. it’s my most colorful item of clothing i wear regularly, considering that I mostly wear all black.

Dream Job: Singer/actor in operas and musical and singing teacher on the side. On my way to achieving that dream.

Dream Trip: ever since I’ve been to Iceland I’ve wanted to go back. But there are also so many other places I want to see, so really, I can’t decide.

Favorite Food: Persian food

Play any instruments: violin, piano, guitar (I used to play the clarinet and I have a few other instruments like the Persian ney and setar that I’m trying my hand with. Oh, I also played cello until not too long ago and want to start that up again at one point).

Languages: there are like three categories here - native level: German, English. can understand well to moderately well and hold a short conversation if pressed: Dutch, Spanish. Learning, can understand it, but hold no conversation yet: Farsi, Italian. (I’m a lot better at writing the last two than speaking them). But yeah, I can at least understand all of them and then the basics of some adjacent languages.

Favorite songs: this question should be cancelled because how on earth am I supposed to choose?

Random Fact: since the person tagging spoke about eating non-edible things as a kid - I have swallowed at least 7 coins as a kid. I used to like to take things in my mouth and then when running around and jumping on the bed, I’d swallow the things on accident.

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: boy this is hard. uh.... space gay, neon signs, old books, sheet music, glitter, outer space, night skies, constellations, ambient lighting sources, colorful skies, trees, strong winds, antique objects with history in them, old buildings, musical instruments, sketch books, pretty pens, all black clothes, currently sporty kind of clothes/cuts, colored hair, silver, mermaids, Persian decor in my mom’s and grandparents’ house..... like I could just go on and on this is very hard for me, especially since I feel like it changes all the time.

[artmutt]

LA Philharmonic Centennial

My chief reason for a frenzied 4-day visit to L.A. this fall was to hear some of the music being performed as part of the 100th anniversary of the L.A. Philharmonic. I became a fan of this orchestra during the tenure of Esa-Pekka Salonen, when concerts were still happening in Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. I waited anxiously for the completion of Disney Hall, the Frank Gehry building that now houses the orchestra. And Gustavo Dudamel was giving a series of programs with the Chicago Symphony the week they announced that he would become the next Music Director of the Phil. Call me a fan.

Of course, it’s a little intimidating to try to write about the programs I heard, when Alex Ross has already done so, eloquently, in The New Yorker (November 26, 2018 issue). I’m sorry to have missed the premiere of Andrew Norman’s new work, and I wish I’d been able to hear the new Steve Reich premiere. Oh well...I was able to attend Susanna Mälkki’s performances of Sibelius’s music for The Tempest, and the remarkable realization of John Cage’s Europeras I & II.

Outside Disney Hall, on our way to Mälkki’s concert, we caught a performance of George Brecht’s Drip Music, happening outside the hall. I’m sorry I didn’t get the name of the handsome, nerdy guy who gave what I considered a rather radical version of Brecht’s piece. I mean, some of the crucial components were there (music was poured from a smaller container to a larger one), but the drips and pouring had been amplified, looped, and audio-processed into something much more like “music” in a conventional sense than most of the performances of this work than I have previously experienced (or participated in). This was part of the orchestra’s “Fluxus Festival,” a daring component to this centennial celebration, given that so much Fluxus “music” is, in fact, a critique and deconstruction of the conventions of classical musical performances.

Inside the hall, things were deconstructed, too. For this was not just a performance of Sibelius’s music for The Tempest. This was a full-fledged performance of Shakespeare’s play, with Sibelius music placed in the appropriate spots in the action. The stage of Disney Hall had been transformed with a set, with the orchestra (and chorus) placed behind these objects. A fair number of Hollywood actors were in the audience: we nearly bumped into Mariette Hartley on our way to our seats.

All this seemed fairly brilliant and daring, and The Tempest is one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. Alas, Disney Concert Hall was not really designed to be especially conducive to the spoken word. Indeed, and large resonant space like this is great for music, adding warmth and natural reverb to instrumental parts, but it swallowed up words the way my cats swallow up tuna. We were in the third row, close enough to practically smell the actors, and even with microphones, vast stretches of Shakespeare’s beautiful words got sucked into the acoustic void and lost. (I’m blaming the acoustics; American actors enunciating Shakespeare were also to blame.)

Sibelius’s music, under the baton of Susanna Mälkki, on the other hand, was dark and profound or delicate and ethereal, as needed by the text. I thought that the music was particularly lovely, and only wish that I could have heard it in the proper context of Shakespeare’s often profound words. Alas, this brave new world did not have a lot of comprehensible speech in it.

Comprehensibility was not the issue the next evening, when John Cage’s Europeras I & II were performed. In response to a commission for an opera, Cage responded by subjecting the components (both vocal and instrumental) of approximately 113 operas to chance operations. The stage was turned into a grid, and subjected to further chance processes in terms of lighting, stage movement, and set components. Musicians watched large clocks, set up behind the audience, to time their contributions to the piece. The result - where singers sometimes performed arias in near darkness, while a space on the other side of the stage was brightly lit with nothing happening, only to have a flat descend in front of the singer mid-aria, with an orchestra playing things completely unrelated to what was being sung - was something you either got into, or took strong opposition to, depending on your point of view. (Audience members began fleeing after about 15 minutes of Europera I, and a fair number did not return after intermission for Europera II.)

I. on the other hand, who knew what to expect and was prepared for an evening of non-sequiturs and discontinuity, was both periodically bored and periodically delighted, much as when I see a conventional opera performance. The production was directed by Yuval Sharon, a much-admired figure in L.A.’s experimental theatre community, who clearly understood and respected Cage’s aesthetic, and supported it, rather than fighting with it. The whole production felt surprisingly affectionate.

This performance did not take place in Disney Hall, but at Sony Pictures Studios, which used to be the old MGM lot out in Culver City. This is where The Wizard of Oz was shot, along with a bunch of the MGM musicals. Sharon was given free access to the Studio’s archive of backdrops, costumes, etc., which worked brilliantly in Los Angeles. Flats that descended while we listened to an aria from Mozart were straight out of some Gene Kelly or Judy Garland movie, while the costumes suggested other famous films. All jumbled together, and competing with each other, much the way they are in our collective, unreliable memories. In calling his work Europeras, Cage noted that he wanted to give back to Europe a work made up of the heritage of European operas. But in Los Angeles, the pun struck home more: these were Your Operas too: and by extension, the musical theater tradition in the U.S., which was enabled by the movies, could embrace its origins in European operas. of the 19th century. 

Europera I - at 90 minutes - felt a touch too long for the material. But Europera II, at 45 minutes, was perfect, filled with humor and occasionally pathos, and endless surprise. We laughed, we cried, it became a part of us. Oh, and we loved the work of the six dancers, who helped further confuse and clarify the chaotic mise-en-scene of this delightfully randomized work.

[rebelsofshield]

Ranking a Saga

It’s that time again everyone! Two more Star Wars films have been released since I last posted this ranking in 2017, and one more, sure to be controversial, addition is on the way in just a few hours!

Part of my joy for this saga is seeing my opinions and tastes for it change over time. I find new strengths in works I didn’t originally love and see flaws in my old favorites. This time, I’ve gone ahead and ranked all existing saga films, Solo, Rogue One, and The Clone Wars animated movie from my least favorite to my cream of the crop.

Feel free to reply with your own rankings and favorites! I love sharing opinions on this site and every fan has different wants and needs for this franchise. I know my take on Rogue One has always been a minority, but I love that some find real value in it.

11. Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)

Watching the theatrical pilot for Star Wars: The Clone Wars is like watching a talented high school quarterback be assigned to play for a major NFL team. It’s taking something that in its own small, minor scale would be perfectly acceptable and potentially even good, and forcing it into a realm where it has no business belonging. This is the unfortunate task faced with director and eventual showrunner Dave Filoni and his crew. Star Wars: The Clone Wars is a movie that should not be a movie, in fact it barely functions as one to begin with.

I do not hide my love for the still flawed but at the same time charming, engaging, and compelling animated series that this film would spawn. It’s for this reason that the failings of The Clone Wars feel all the more painful.

Hastily edited together out of the initial five episodes for the series, quite simply everything about The Clone Wars is a mess for a film. Despite the best efforts of Director Dave Filoni, The Clone Wars cannot escape its slipshod construction. It moves along in hurts and jolts and switches focus too quickly to attain much of any narrative momentum.

It also hurts that the animation itself, while perfectly serviceable for a CG animated series for the late 2000’s, is stiff, clunky, and oddly flat. Environments are sterile and lacking in texture. Characters move in jerky motions and lack facial expressions. In a year that would bring us kinetic and gorgeously detailed CG animation from films like Wall-e and Kung Fu Panda, watching The Clone Wars is an ugly and even depressing affair.

The only passing grace for this film are the creative and at times epic in scope battle sequences, but when the film itself is this lacking in cohesion and heart it is hard to raise anything more than half-interest.

It’s unfortunate that this film would be the world’s first introduction to such beloved characters as Ahsoka Tano, Captain Rex, or George Lucas’s take on Asajj Ventress. It’s the definition of a bad first impression and it only grows more ugly and messy with each passing year.

Score: D

10. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)

By far the weakest of the so far released Saga films, Attack of the Clones acts as a call to action for all those who have issues with the prequel trilogy. While it has dropped the bizarre racial stereotyping of its predecessor, George Lucas’s second installment in the series’ second trilogy is filled with strange decision making and a convoluted plot structure.

Trying to understand the narrative of Attack of the Clones is often very difficult. While it is relatively easy to tune out and simply enjoy the spectacle of it all, the attempts to meld space opera with noir and political intrigue prove unfortunately more convoluted and stale than intriguing. In particular, the circumstances surrounding the creation and implementation of the clone army stretch credibility.

While The Phantom Menace made extensive and competent use of combining miniatures and digital effects, Attack of the Clones falls back on computer generated images to detrimental results. While it serves the sweeping battle sequences and wide arrange of alien creatures well, the pervasiveness of digital additions to the film’s world becomes distracting when it oversteps its bounds. In particular, the decision to make the armor for each of Temuera Morrison’s clonetroopers digitally rendered is an unnecessary decision and it gives a slightly uncanny feel to the clone army itself. Even worse are the completely digital environments which feel detached and weightless in their interactions with movie’s cast. It quite simply stands as the ugliest looking Star Wars film and that doesn’t seem slated to changed any time soon.

Ultimately though, the biggest failing of Attack of the Clones is Anakin himself. While Jake Lloyd may have struggled in The Phantom Menace he at least succeeded in turning Anakin into something of a likable character. While Hayden Christensen is a talented actor and he certainly improves by the time Revenge of the Sith arrives, it is hard to relate or even sympathize to the manner the character is presented in Attack of the Clones. He oscillates between arrogant, angry, and uncomfortable without giving us much to fall back upon. If we are meant to feel for his temptation and fall from the Light, then there needs to have been somethings there worth saving in the first place. By the time Attack of the Clones closes, we don’t have much of that.

The same can be said for the much maligned romance at the film’s center. While the concept is compelling in and of itself, Lucas’s writing and staging of the scenes can’t help but feel forced and impersonal. Both Natalie Portman, who was one of the previous film’s highlights, and Christensen struggle in finding a chemistry in the material that feels natural and the end result is something that at times approaches unwatchably uncomfortable in its presentation.

That being said, once the film’s political powder keg explodes, Attack of the Clones evolves into something intense and actually quite fun. Both the unique arena sequence and the Battle of Geonosis are visually stunning and entertaining action set pieces that are bolstered by a swashbuckling and charming performance by Ewan McGregor. While it does close out in the most disappointing lightsaber duel of the saga, it still ends on a relative high note given the meandering and detached mess that preceded it.

Score: C-

9. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

While still one of the weaker films in the saga, The Phantom Menace receives significantly more ire than perhaps it deserves. Much of this is likely due to the initial hype and disappointment that it brought with it during its release in 1999. Some of this is understandable considering that it does mark a significant step down in terms of quality from 1983’s Return of the Jedi and an even further one from the first two films. However, when viewed in context of both Attack of the Clones and The Clone Wars animated film there is something about The Phantom Menace that feels inherently more watchable and even entertaining.

Much of this is that despite the fact that the film’s structure is strange and lacking in cohesion, it does move along at a pretty steady speed and provides us with a wide variety of locations and faces. There is also something about the aesthetic of the whole thing that feels significantly more in line with the original Star Wars than both the other prequel films would provide. It helps that Lucas’s action direction, even if it does tend to the over complicated and unnatural, is visually arresting and engaging. Both the extended podracing sequence and the stellar lightsaber duel between Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Darth Maul are representative of the sort of fast moving fun that make the Star Wars films what they are.

Unfortunately, this is about where the praise for The Phantom Menace ends. I have already spoken at length about the rampant presence of racial stereotyping in the film and one does not have to spend much time discussing the flaws behind Jar Jar Binks or Jake Lloyd’s performance of a young Anakin Skywalker. The fact of the matter is, much of the negative aspects of the film have been so ingrained into popular culture that even discussing them at length would feel almost unnecessary. Jar Jar is annoying. The acting is stale. Etc.

However, perhaps the biggest detriment to The Phantom Menace as a whole is the lack of a direction when it comes to its characters. Of the cast on display only Liam Neeson and Natalie Portman are given characters with much of anything to do and while they may lack depth or charisma, their portrayals are competent and engaging enough to avoid boredom or disinterest. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the rest of the cast. Although there is nothing inherently poor about his presence in the movie, Ewan McGregor’s Obi-Wan Kenobi is given next to nothing to do in the film and in the process his sudden importance at its conclusion feels half-baked and insincere.

Ultimately, The Phantom Menace is a disappointment, but it remains a watchable and at times entertaining movie, especially in contrast to the worst of the saga.

Score: C+

8. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

The second of the so-far released Star Wars films released by Lucasfilm since Disney’s heralding of the franchise is also the weakest. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story represents the first live action, theatrically released film in the Galaxy Far, Far Away that centers itself outside of the main Skywalker saga. It styles itself as both a prequel and spin-off and strikes out to capture some of the genre-bending style that has been Marvel Studios’s secret success. Telling the story of the theft of the Death Star plans, director Gareth Edwards styles Rogue One as a science fiction war epic filled with intense battle sequences and clever camera work.

When Rogue One is at war, the film is a success. Edwards’s strong visual eye, especially when detailing scope and scale, is the movie’s true secret weapon. Rogue One is a gorgeous film to look at and more so than The Force Awakens finds a way to inhabit the aesthetic of the Original Trilogy while also updating it for a contemporary audience. The blending of practical and digital effects is close to seamless (outside of the infamous digital recreations of Peter Cushing and Carrie Fisher). As an extension, the battle sequences whether they be urban shootouts in the ancient city of Jedha, storming the beaches of Scarif, or capital ships crashing into one another in high atmosphere, are stunning to behold and perfectly capture the chaos but also emotion of galactic warfare.

Similarly, when Rogue One functions as an allegory for the battles of oppressed people against fascist or totalitarian governments it is effectively stirring and even emotional. Sacrifice for freedom is a key theme of the franchise and Edwards and screenwriters Chris Weitz, Tony Gilroy, John Knoll, and Gary Whitta are keenly aware of this.

It is unfortunate then that so much of Rogue One is so starkly impersonal and flat. Throughout the film’s runtime there is an undeniable texture of ideas and concept that are intriguing. There are different political factions, sub-cultures that have clear beliefs and unique meanings to the franchise, and characters that are well drawn and conceptualized. These ideas just often feel untouchable or nebulously realized.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the film’s central cast of characters. While the ensemble of talented actors do their strongest to bring these rebels to life, many struggle to stretch beyond their initial drawings or conceptualizations. Few outside of the film’s lead, Jyn Erso, possess much of a clear character arc or personal stake in the proceedings, but even those that do experience some form of personal realization do so in a stop gap manner that is hard to follow. At its most basic, Rogue One’s characters lack agency; their wants and desires feel removed from the central thrust of the plot and instead feel like game pieces moved about for a larger force. While this may have been done as a way to ape grunt work in military campaigns, there is still a storied history of war films that explore the personal and human side of battle, especially when the war concerns struggles of freedom against totalitarianism. Diego Luna’s Cassian Andor may hint at a lifelong history of war and trauma, but we don’t see how this shapes him as a human or why he comes to realize that this has harmed him in the third act. It says something that the most iconic scene in the film concerns a cameo from a villain from a more successful movie. As a result, Rogue One functions as a series of beautifully executed set pieces and ideas, but is told through an emotional distance and relative lack of humanity.

Score: B-

7. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

While it is not flawless, it is refreshing to see the franchise reorient itself so strongly during the closing act of the prequel trilogy. Revenge of the Sith is a film that blends mythos and character and at its best does both rather well.

At its worst, Revenge of the Sith recommits the sins of its predecessors. Hayden Christensen, while as a whole is significantly better than his previous take on the character, still has his moments of woodenness and has a proclivity for overly heightened melodrama. Lucas’s script also continues to struggle in providing dialogue, particularly in romantic scenes, that feels human often resulting in stilted and even sometimes nonsensical phrasings. Overall, there is something also strangely off about the tone in Revenge of the Sith which changes from relatively fun and light hearted space adventure to dark and brooding tragedy often times rather close to each other.

Similarly, there is a staleness to how much of the dialogue in the film is directed with characters frequently aimlessly wandering around rooms without clear purpose or urgency. As the stakes of the film rise this sort of detached storytelling becomes more and more distracting, but it is likely not enough to overpower what does work.

Anakin’s eventual fall from grace and the rise of the Galactic Empire carry with them a great sense of dramatic and mythological weight, even if the transition from conflicted Jedi Knight into child murderer does feel a tad rushed. The fact of the matter is, Revenge of the Sith knows how to play into its subject matter. Its story is appropriately weighty and once Grievous falls and Sidious makes his masterstroke the film evolves into some of the most consistently entertaining and weighty material in the saga, easily surpassing its predecessors in the prequels.

While it has come under fire recently for its apparent decision to select spectacle over emotion, the final confrontation between Anakin and Obi-Wan still remains some of the most intense and emotional stuff the series has seen. Its dancelike and kinetic fight choreography coupled with John Williams’s haunting score commands attention and leaves dozens of striking images in the viewer’s brain.

However, it is ultimately Ian McDiarmid performance as Palpatine/Darth Sidious that really makes Revenge of the Sith special. McDiarmid knows how to sell the myth and lore of Star Wars with nuance and restraint while at the same time is not afraid to embrace the hammy and ridiculous side of his character as well. Whenever he is on screen, he owns every second of it and he makes the film equal parts entertaining and haunting.

Score: B

6. Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

The very concept of Solo was a hard sell.  As beloved as a character Han Solo is, few were clamoring to see a movie exploring the smuggler’s early days and the concept of any actor inhabiting the role of that helped make Harrison Ford a household name was enough to make fans call blasphemy. Given these concerns and the fact that directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller were fired mid production and replaced by Ron Howard , it is a wonder that Solo works at all. This is not to say that there aren’t bumpy sequences or clear moments of clashing creative vision, but the resulting film is one that evolves into an enjoyable adventure despite it becoming infamous for being Star Wars’ biggest financial flop.

Solo aims to capture a Saturday matinee energy that plays well into Star Wars’ roots but doesn’t shoot for the mythological grandeur of some of its best entries. Much of this has to do with the fact that Howard and Kasdan, along with his son and co-writer Jon, keep the film mired in the muck and grime of the galactic underworld. The result builds upon elements of Star Wars media that have never been given the forefront of a feature film until now. It makes for a unique feeling movie that carries an aesthetic of its own but still feels a part of the larger saga.

It is in the smaller moments of heists and robberies and double crossing where Solo leans into its western/crime film roots that the movie proves to be the most thrilling and successful. While the fate of many of its players are known, Solo does an admirable job of keeping motivations shifting and fluid but never unclear and this is captured by some solid performances at its center.

Despite the mountains of criticism and skepticism hurled his way, Ehrenreich does a commendable job of making the role of Han Solo his own. While clearly based in the mannerisms of Ford’s iconic take, Ehrenreich brings his own level of charm and swagger to Han that it is easy to appreciate him as his own character while also not losing sight of the legacy.

The true scene stealers, as most audiences likely expected, prove to be Donald Glover’s Lando Calrissian and his droid partner L3-37, played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Glover’s casting was lauded since it was first announced and it is a pleasure to see that he lives up to the hype. He plays the smooth talking gambler with the sort of duplicitous charm and arrogance that made Billy Dee Williams’s first appearance in The Empire Strikes Back so instantly classic. Calrissian is a clear crowd pleaser on and off screen and it makes every scene he is a part of magnetic and entertaining.

However, despite all of this, Solo is more concerned with telling a story of origins and smaller scale spectacle than it is picking apart what really makes the central smuggler tick. It’s passable entertainment without a whole lot going underneath the hood.

At the end, perhaps the biggest sin that Solo commits is that it fails to justify the purpose for its existence. This isn’t a film that audiences were clamoring for or that the franchise is necessarily improved by for having. However, unlike other origin stories, it plays with the legacy of its larger than life toys without tarnishing them. It takes them for a ride that is frequently fun and often filled with smart creative choices but can’t help but feeling disposable. It’s the Star Wars movie that inspires the least amount of emotion, one way or another, and is likely to remain a franchise footnote for sometime.

Score: B

5. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)

Despite containing some of the most iconic and even emotional content of the series, there is something oddly stale about Return of the Jedi. It still is a consistently entertaining and engaging film, but in comparison to the two masterworks that proceeded it, something feels off.

Some of this might simply be due to the abundance of slapstick humor, the ill-fitting Ewoks, or any number of frequently cited issues with the presentation and script such as an overly long sojourn to Jabba’s Palace on Tatooine. (I do love the Errol Flynn/Flash Gordon style set piece above the Sarlacc pit all the same.) However, perhaps the most unfortunate aspect about Return of the Jedi is simply the fact that two of its principal characters are played by actors who simply do not seem to want to be a part of the film. Both Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford turn in performances that are competent in their own right, but at the same time are a far cry from their work in both preceding films in the original trilogy. A particular exchange between the famous smuggler and princess on a balcony in an Ewok village contains some of the most forced dialogue and line delivery in the saga and it’s more than a tad distracting and disappointing.

Richard Marquand’s direction also feels relatively bland and perfunctory after the creative abundance that George Lucas and Irvin Kershner brought to the prior films. It handles the scale and action of it all competently enough, but the whipsnap editing of A New Hope or the inventive cinematography of The Empire Strikes Back are missing. It stands as one of the blandest looking films in the saga as a result.

However, Return of the Jedi progresses the narrative momentum from both previous films into an incredible three part climax that is thrilling and compelling. Whether it is the sublimely ahead of its time space battle between the scattered rebel fleet and the Imperial war machine or the final temptation of Luke Skywalker by the Emperor, Return of the Jedi draws the viewer into its dense dramatic landscape and rarely lets up. Yes, even the relative silliness and levity of the Ewok forest battle even makes for some amusing breaks of the heavy material surrounding it.

What ultimately elevates Return of the Jedi above most of the rest of the Star Wars franchise is its beautiful conclusion to the central drama of the Skywalker family saga. Mark Hamill and Ian McDiarmid are arguably the two strongest actors in the original six Star Wars films and seeing both paragons of light and dark play off one another in such a way is a rare treat that bursts with scenery chewing pathos. The tempting of Luke through family and eventually Vader’s redemption through love for his son is a beautiful thematic tableau. Vader’s slaying of his Master and his gradual death bed re-transformation into Anakin Skywalker makes for the most emotional sequences in the series. Regardless of the tragedy that has brought the series to this point, Return of the Jedi ends on a moment of unabashed peace and unity and it’s both serene and appropriately celebratory. Whether you are a “Yub Nub” fan or a fan of the Special Edition’s galactic victory revelry (I’m the latter), it is hard not to smile as our heroes embrace one another and an old generation sees its sins rectified. Score: B+

4. Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)

There is a certain strangeness to The Last Jedi. While many criticized The Force Awakens for being overly reverential of its predecessors at the cost of a unique narrative, director and writer Rian Johnson takes the franchise to its almost breaking point limit in the series’ eighth numbered installment. Whether it be through its atypical narrative structure, franchise first visual cues, abundant humor, or the frequent breaks from expectation, The Last Jedi is a different form of Star Wars film than we are used to. The Last Jedi takes risks, and while not all of them may payoff, it is to be commended that it takes them in the first place. It’s a movie that has something to say and something worthy as well, and in an era of blockbusters that aim only to please and not challenge their viewers, it’s certainly an appreciated move.

 After sitting out almost the entirety of The Force Awakens, Mark Hamill finally receives the opportunity to dig back into the most iconic role of his career and to one of the most beloved heroes in a generation. One of the smartest twists in Johnson’s script comes with the playing of expectations for this. Luke is a broken man and has become that way for a reason. In particular, The Last Jedi continues the Sequel Trilogy’s smart meta-narrative. These films, perhaps more so than any other set of Star Wars media, are keenly aware of the legacy in which they play and it factors into the narrative. Within the Galaxy Far, Far Away and in real life, the characters of Luke, Leia, Han, and, even, Darth Vader have become legends. Johnson crafts a Luke that is cracking under the pressure of the legacy, but in the process creates a strong message on the importance of heroes and what they can mean to the downtrodden and a society in turmoil. It makes for one of the film’s strongest through points and this is done in no small part due to Hamill’s terrific performance. Hamill not only finds a wonderful balance in updating his iconic character to a new era of his life, but by balancing measures of sorrow, anger, and grumpy humor. It’s a move that has proved infamously divisive to both viewers and to Hamill himself, but the end result, especially in an outstanding move in the film’s third act, is pure Star Wars magic.

Paired with Luke is the still lost Rey. Daisy Ridley utilizes this confusion and frustration to craft a heroine that is at an emotional crossroads. While her determination and passion from The Force Awakens  still rings through, Rey this time brings with her a strong sense of vulnerability and confusion and it makes for a harrowing character arc that is made all the better for its pairing with Kylo Ren. They see similarities in their shared frustrations and confusion, but they are still two people who are fundamentally separated on the bound of morality. As a result, Adam Driver continues to craft Kylo Ren into one of the franchise’s most successful villains. While he lacks the campy sneer of Palpatine or the undeniable dramatic gravitas of Dart Vader, Driver’s Kylo is marked by his unpredictability and instability. As a result, he’s a villain that feels disturbingly human and volatile and it makes each scene he is a part of particularly fascinating. All of this pays off in a stellar throne room confrontation between Kylo, Rey, and Andy Serkis’s Supreme Leader Snoke that marks the film’s clear action highlight.

The greatest failing of The Last Jedi ultimately comes from a middle act that at times feels aimless and overly cluttered. There are numerous moving parts and an extensive ensemble cast that branches off to multiple locations and teams. It’s inevitable that one story will feel lost in the shuffle and that, unfortunately, comes down to Finn and Rose. John Boyega and Kelly Marie Tran as a general rule are a joy to watch. Boyega carries the same enthusiasm and excitement that made him so infectious in The Force Awakes and Tran is inspirational in her quiet moments of grief and casual heroics. However, the lengthy sequence on Canto Bight including a less than inspired chase sequence feels like the film at its most aimless. At a point where all three major narratives feel stalled, it is the Canto Bight section that feels the most distracted and disinterested despite the stellar design work at hand. It’s unfortunate in that this holds back the pacing of the film but squanders a potentially strong story for two of the film’s leads, one of which was one of the standouts of its predecessor. Luckily, Poe Dameron does end up getting the spotlight and his desperate story of responsibility plays out like a tense piece of military science fiction and is one of the unsung highlights of the film.

Even when it isn’t sticking the landing, Johnson’s script still moves with intention of both theme and character. Lessons regarding failure, myth, personal growth, and courage are abundant and each of the central five characters feels like they have a clear arc and goal achieved by the end of the film, despite some of them not always being the most entertaining to watch or taking priority over others. 

Combined with some beautiful imagery, a freewheeling and dynamic musical score by John Williams, and fantastic final act that is simultaneously moving and fist pumpingly fun, The Last Jedi is some of Star Wars at its best. It’s willingness to upend conventions and take risks is likely to irk some fans until the end of time, but there is genuine magic here and it ages better with each passing year.

Score: A-

3. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

Director JJ Abrams and co-writer Lawrence Kasdan stated that the one emotion they wished to elicit in audiences while viewing The Force Awakens was delight. In that they delivered in spades. While the film may tread into some dark and even tragic material, what The Force Awakens does first and foremost is return a sense of fun, adventure, and character to Star Wars’ presence in the world. It makes for a breathless, endearing, and entirely involving viewing experience that only manages to win one over with each consecutive watch.

Much of this is due to the embarrassingly talented and engaging ensemble cast assembled in the film. Not since The Empire Strikes Back has a Star Wars film been this densely populated with genuinely relatable, exciting, and intriguing characters. It’s what makes the movie breathe, live, and thrive and in the process turns it into premium blockbuster entertainment and one of the finest installments in the series to date.

Daisy Ridley’s Rey easily finds herself fitting into the archetype of a loner elevated from poverty into extraordinary circumstances. She makes for the sort of every woman that made the original Star Wars narrative so appealing and was lacking from the prequel trilogy as a whole with maybe the exception of a childhood Anakin. In contrast, John Boyega’s Finn is a boundless source of energy, outward conflict, and humor. Boyega is about as charismatic and energetic character as the franchise has ever had. From his first traumatic introduction through the eventual end of his journey, Finn’s struggle for purpose and arguably redemption adds a level of unpredictability but also flawed humanism. Boyega clearly has a large amount of affection not only for the role but for the film and the universe itself. It’s hard not to fall in love with Finn from the second he appears on screen. Pairing off with him is Oscar Isaac’s underutilized by seductively charming hot shot pilot, Poe Dameron. Isaac owns every scene he is a part of with each spin of his fighter, smirk, and cheer.

Opposing the trinity is Adam Driver’s Kylo Ren, whom Abram’s and Kasdan craft into a fractured and unstable meta-symbol of legacy and male fragility. It turns Kylo into an entertaining and uniquely frightening villain that is not sympathetic, but understandably human. It makes the character’s slips towards the Dark scarier in their closeness to real world insecurity. This is not a fall of mythic proportions such as Anakin but one instead fueled by uncomfortably familiar emotion.

Of the returning cast members, Harrison Ford not only turns in his best take on the galaxy’s most notorious smuggler since The Empire Strikes Back but arguably his most lively and enjoyable performance in over a decade. Like much of the cast, Ford seems to be enjoying the role and luckily, unlike Return of the Jedi, he seems to have found what makes the character of Han Solo not only fun but interesting and human. The same can be said for Carrie Fisher as Leia Organa. Fisher has not lost her ability to appear both emotionally torn but also commanding at one moment, and she, like Ford, effortlessly slips back into her old role.

As it is most likely clear by this point, The Force Awakens is a film that thrives by its incredible cast of characters. Star Wars at its best is a series that works best when the mythology, despite how compelling it may be, takes a back seat to the human, robotic, and alien beings at its center. This proves doubly the case for The Force Awakens. While its central plot mostly serves as a means by which to challenge, test, and reveal its characters, it also functions as one of the most structurally weak points of the movie. Those familiar with A New Hope will find a fair share of structural similarities with the beginnings of both trilogies. Most of these center around the mostly ill-advised inclusion of Starkiller base, a third string Death Star that functions as little more than a staging ground for the film’s final act. However, while this overt reverence for the past can prove distracting and unwarranted, it does not prove as detrimental to the film as a whole as some critics and fans have claimed since its release in 2015.

Score: A

2. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (1977)

Viewing Star Wars, or A New Hope, is almost an exercise in examining an indelible piece of pop culture history as much as viewing a movie. It is hard to overstate just how drastically this film has shaped the world and cinematic culture since it was first released to record breaking crowds in 1977. While it may seem inconsequential when viewed in the pure breadth and scope of the behemoth franchise that it has spawned in the 40 years since its premiere, A New Hope laid the groundwork for one of the most enduring pieces of science-fiction/fantasy in the world all the while telling a uniquely entertaining and compelling movie in its own right.

As its own artifact, A New Hope is this strange sort of mad genius cooked up within George Lucas’s often baffling but uniquely talented creative space. The sheer amount of consequential but essential world and character building that A New Hope carries within its opening act is a gargantuan feat and it does so with the same sort of on-the-nose optimism and sense of adventure that pervades the entirety of the picture. Whether it’s the thrilling opening clash between Leia’s rebellion and the Empire or through Obi-Wan’s melancholy explanation of the history of the Jedi to an eager Luke Skywalker, Lucas’s script is busy crafting a myth and its one that’s worth listening to.

A New Hope’s secret success has always been its distillation of the hero’s journey into a unique narrative. Lucas imbues his take on this classic storytelling trope with his own creative flourishes and iconic imagery: the long arm of the Empire represented as the never ending Star Destroyer filling the screen, Luke’s desire for adventure represented as an almost self-imposed prison in his aunt and uncle’s farm before it is torn away from him, and of course the cantina that represents the steps into a larger new world filled with oddities and danger. A New Hope’s iconography is memorable and steeped into pop cultural memory for a reason.

In terms of performances, outside of Alec Guinness’s stoic but appropriately haunted Obi-Wan Kenobi and Peter Cushing’s deliciously twisted and sinister Grand Moff Tarkin, A New Hope functions moreso as a stepping stone for future development than an acting showcase. This is not to say that the acting is poor. Mark Hamill’s Luke Skywalker is impatient and impetuous, but he serves as a more than adequate focal point for the film’s young audience. Harrison Ford’s Han Solo may not yet be the cocky romantic that audience’s will come to love him for, but his devil-may-care swagger makes for a magnetic secondary protagonist. Carrie Fisher is given relatively little to do here, but right off the bat brings with her Leia’s brash confidence, knack for heroism, and utter impatience for those around for her who are holding her back from her mission.

Above all, A New Hope is simply a joy to watch. It’s buoyed by an infectious sense of wonder, adventure, and optimism while at the same time hiding a hints of tragedy and even canny political awareness. It’s an appropriate blockbuster for the ages and likely will feel its legacy stretch out for decades to come. Score: A+

1. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

If A New Hope was the film that laid the foundation of what Star Wars could become, The Empire Strikes Back is the movie that catapulted the series from creatively executed novelty into myth. Director Irvin Kershner and writers Leigh Brackett (to this day the only woman to write for a Star Wars feature) and eventual franchise regular Lawrence Kasdan escalates George Lucas’s original story of a hero’s journey into a layered, philosophical, and beautifully realized story of character and familial drama.

What sets Kershner apart from Lucas from the start is his sinister and almost dreamlike visual style that pervades throughout the film. To this day, The Empire Strikes Back makes for the most visually evocative film in the franchise with its dizzying moments of space flight, incredible battle over the snow drifts of Hoth, majestic and appropriately hazy skies of Bespin/Cloud City, and of course eerie and murky swamps of Dagobah. Kershner establishes a smart language through the movie’s cinematography that reorients the franchise and its characters not only as more mature beings but those that are battling their own struggles of aging and adulthood.

Appropriately, The Empire Strikes Back is a story of growing up and challenging its central cast. Luke discovers that his path to adventure leads not to one of heroism and uncovered legacies but to an inheritance that is tempered with trials and a dark and tragic family legacy. Leia finds her attempts to guide a galactic rebellion clouded by her own personal feelings. Han Solo can’t bring himself to leave because he has discovered that he is maybe addicted to heroism but is also hopelessly in love with the princess at the war’s center.  Kasdan and Brackett move these characters into scenarios that routinely challenge them and in the process mines series, and even career, high performances from all involved. Harrison Ford in particular is both a dashing romantic while also remaining a cocky and oddly insecure criminal.

Similarly, while A New Hope may have established Star Wars as a cultural icon, it is The Empire Strikes Back that has left its indelible mark on the franchise as a whole. Whether through the development of the Empire into a multifaceted fascist machine spanning worlds and star systems, introducing the Force as a mystical and philosophical belief system more in tune with Buddhist and Hindu spirituality than as a magical tool through the instantly iconic character of Yoda. (Frank Oz is one of the unsung performing heroes of this series), having Billy Dee William’s bring a sense of moral ambiguity but also undeniable cool to the franchise with Lando Calrissian, or John Williams’s most mature and instantly iconic score of the franchise, The Empire Strikes Back inspires more iconic Star Wars elements than one often realizes.

However, what the central piece that draws the entire film together into pure classic territory is the onyx clad Sith Lord at its center. While Darth Vader carried a presence throughout the previous film, James Earl Jones and the general creative team in Empire establish the character as not only a sinister force to be reckoned with but one with a twisted sense of humor and a dark personal pathos. It solidifies the character as one of the most, if not the most, iconic villain in film history.

The Empire Strikes Back is a triumph. It is intelligently engaging, artistically realized, beautifully acted, and at the same time strikingly funny and entertaining. It is and likely always will be the zenith of Star Wars entertainment. I doubt anything will ever top it.

Score: A+ ----------------------------- So how did I do? Agree? Disagree? Let me know.

[mfmagazine]

Gina La Piana

Article by Lauren Weigle

Photo by Steve Kay Photography 

Gina La Piana is definitely a fierce force of nature.  Armed with a gorgeous singing voice, a sultry image, and an amazing acting ability, this woman knows how to work the entertainment circuit.  Making appearances on popular shows like Bones, Everybody Hates Chris, The Mentalist, and many others; her main passion is her craft as an actress.  Although she loves to sing and has success with it, acting is where her heart truly lies… This is why we’ve taken the time to sit down with her and delve a little deeper into what Gina is truly all about… who she is, where she wants to go with her career, and what she really wants in life.

So, acting and singing.  I want to hear about both.  How about we start with the singing?  Can you tell me a little bit about yourself as an artist?

I consider myself an edgy voice for women, as well as a storyteller.  My tendency is to write my music as a journal.  I’m most inspired when I’m in relationships, good or bad.  I’ve written most of my successful pieces from painful experiences.  There was one relationship that is most predominant, which I call the ‘Gray Period’.  That’s when I wrote my most popular material.  A lot of women can relate to and connect with my "agony' so to speak. (She laughs.) But, that's kind of a universal theme. I get thank you notes from people around the world saying they connected to the themes and messages in the music.  It makes me realize just how much “art imitates life” and how we truly want the same things. To be understood, loved, and cherished.  I’ve only done original work.  I’ve never been a cover song artist.  I don’t know how to be.  So, a show like American Idol could have never been a platform for me because it’s important to sing what’s in my heart and what sprung from my truth - the good, bad, and the ugly.

Okay, so you thrive on being original.  What would you say is your signature aesthetic when it comes to your own music?

I am a divine dichotomy of sorts, in that what I do in the US market tends to be more edgy, pop rock, geared towards films and television, while what I do overseas as "Gina Martina" is darker, sexy electronic dance music.  I’ve been called the Jenna Jameson of electronica! (She happily exclaims.) They are all roles for me really, getting to play different characters, and aspects of my personality set to beats.

Well, you’ve been a part of several movie soundtracks.  Would you like to talk about some of your contributions in that area?

I love the collaboration involved when working on a soundtrack.  I love working in a room full of people where we’re all working towards the same visual-auditory goals.  I am a very visual person, so it’s exciting to see a piece of film in front of me, visualizing the story and literally seeing and feeling the music that is poured into the film.  It’s moving art.  It always comes back to storytelling for me.  It’s by far some of my favorite work and I look forward to doing a lot more in the future! I am such a huge fan of guys like Danny Elfman, and Hans Zimmer. What a gift these guys have! To someday be able to work in the same room with them would be a life altering experience for me.

Oh, I’m sure!  With just singing or acting as well?  Do you prefer acting to singing or are the two pretty equal?

To be completely honest with myself, I’d love to do more acting.  Music pays the bills, but my dream is to do series television.  In an ideal world, I would meld both of these facets. And maybe run the whole shebang, Sandra Bullock style.

Aside from your life as a performer, what else do you enjoy?

Eating good food, reading a great book, making love, fun with friends, investing in stock, supporting in the Bella Sera Organization, and travel, travel, travel!!! I am also what you call a spa whore…I love to spa!

Do you have much spare time to let loose and indulge in these things… like your Spa fetish?

I have quite a bit of time to myself; it’s how I set my life up. I created and built my own music company so I can let other people do the heavy lifting and I can take the credit, which allows me the space and time to enjoy my life much more.

Let’s talk about your character on Days of Our Lives.  How did you first land your role on the soap series?

I went in like any other normal casting.  I was hired originally by the lovely Fran Bascom, working at separate times in two smaller characters, (a flight attendant named Daphne and a Nurse called Rosy), whom they found memorable. They eventually brought me in as a more substantial recurring character. Yes, I played three characters in total while on Days of Our Lives.

Wow.  So multiple personalities. (I joke.)  What else?

I have both good and bad things to say about working on a soap opera.  The good: it’s akin to boot camp for actors.  You have to learn so much dialogue so quickly. Every day you have pages and pages of text to memorize and you must be spot on!  They will not accept anything less.  It is like doing theatre on television if that makes sense.  You can make far bigger choices than you could normally in either regular TV or film outside of comedy.  The bad:  I have never worked a job where women were more downright catty and mean.

Wow, that’s horrible.  I guess even soap operas have those catty co-workers.

Yeah, I literally was written off my show because a few of the girls I was working with made me miserable.  I couldn’t continue to subject myself to that much negative energy. No amount of money on Earth is worth the stress to me, and I sincerely mean that.

Well, soap operas have been such classic constants throughout television history.  What are your thoughts on the recent cancellations of the long-running soaps All My Children and One Life to Live?

In my opinion, I think it’s time to move on, because we are living in a different time in history than the era they debuted in.  I mean no disrespect, but these shows have been around since way before I was a gleam in my Father's eye, and we have since progressed in our outlook of entertainment. Viewers are much more sophisticated and looking for more cohesive story lines.

I got ya.  Okay, I’m going to take my cue from you and move on as well. (I laugh.)  Since your days as Gabby Ortiz and even before then, you’ve made appearances on so many popular television shows.  Any memorable ones that stick out in your mind?

Hands down, my favorite experience was on Studio 60.  I got to combine my 3 strengths.  I scored the episode, sang 2 of my original songs on stage, and acted opposite Matthew Perry, and all the while working for the brilliant and gifted Aaron Sorkin. Not to mention, I was directed by the ingenious Tommy Schlamme.  That job just couldn’t have gotten any better!

Okay, tell me about your most recent project Audrey.  What’s the story?

Audrey is a very unique and very funny female-driven comedy.  Taking place in real-time, the story takes us through a little over an hour and a half of a young woman's day as she waits and waits and waits in a restaurant for Gene, her date, to arrive for their critical third date.  As the clock ticks away and Gene is nowhere to be found, 34-year-old Audrey is swept up into a journey through her life as her insecurities and inner demons comically wreak havoc on her. Forced to face her deepest fears by circumstance — both real and unreal —Audrey finds the strength and courage she never imagined she had.

I understand you produced the film?  What made you cross over from actress to producer?

I realized things were changing in the film industry.  More and more celebrities are taking on Television roles, which leaves less work for newer or up and coming actors. I felt I needed to create more vehicles for myself if I want to work in this business.  I like to be in control of my career and not just sit around waiting for the next audition to come.  I wanted to create more vehicles and opportunities to show my strengths.  Hence, I'm playing the quirky impassioned best friend to "Audrey".

What first drew you to the project?

A friend whom I deeply respect and admired brought the project to me.  He was very excited about it, so I came on board.

Well, that’s simple enough.  Any other projects coming up that we should know about?

I’m producing and starring in a film that I wrote called Brit and Brazil.  It’s an independent drama-comedy feature that will give me the opportunity to play a grittier character who turns things around in her life.  I’m most inspired by these types of stories, the underdog, who eventually triumphs and succeeds.  I’m also producing two artists signed to Warner Bros., ages 13 and 15.  The albums couldn’t be more different - One is a rock-electronic record and the other is in the urban-hip hop genre. I like to keep it crazy, the nuttier the better in my opinion. Colorful is key!