#one of my favorite Doug Things is that he’s like.. protective? of people who do not need the protection at all.

[lem-argentum]

doug is so weird because you’ll tell him you love him and he’ll be like “uh. w. whj. um I MEAN um— yeah, yeah um ahem you too” but then you’ll be on an airship together and you’ll go “oh hey you almost fell off!!” and he’ll be like “I’ve never stopped falling for you… since the day we met”

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

favourite twdg villain?

I'm a fond enjoyer of the St. John's as villains. I don't know if they're my favorite just because they're only in one episode, but I love the concept of this family almost immediately jumping into cannibalism toward the start of the outbreak, dealing in human flesh to bandits, and casually feeding this group their friend's legs.

Like... what the hell was this family like before the outbreak that all three of them were like, "Hey now listen... nothing should go to waste, the dead are eating people so why shouldn't we? We gotta survive and in our defense, we only target those who were gonna die anyway... like y'all."

Dude, Mark was shot in this shoulder with an arrow. He wasn't going to die from that injury. It's so fucked that these seemingly friendly people took the group into their home and then fed them Mark's legs.

If we take the idea that everyone is infected and have the capacity within themselves to become walkers, to become monsters, then the St. John's were infected long before the outbreak, y'know? Not literally, but something was wrong with them and the outbreak just further spread that infection and changed them.

But again, are they my favorite? I dunno if I can say that since I have a lot more appreciation for Lily now. Yeah, some of her writing gets a little wonky in ep3 of TFS when she goes on her monologues and shit, but y'know what? I'm into it.

You have to remember who we're talking about and the fact that she's the antagonist; Lily isn't some anti-hero in TFS who secretly has a heart of gold that's brought to light because she reunited with Clementine... she's a fucked up woman who did fucked up things in the name of survival. She's full of rot now. She sees kidnapping children and turning them into soldiers to protect her home as a means to an end, but she doesn't actually give a shit about the people she's taking. They aren't people to her, they're as the episode title suggests, toys in her game. The only one she sees as a person is Clementine, and while that makes her hesitate at first, she sees Clementine's a prize to bring back.

She remembers what happened in S1; her father had a heart attack and as she tried to save him, Kenny smashed his face in with a saltlick and then expected Lily to just stand up and help him get back to his family because "he did what he had to, he made the hard choice." Yes, Larry was a piece of shit. No one liked him, and you can even question Lily on him and she'll tell you that he has a lot of pain. Yes, it makes him an asshole, but he's still her dad and he's all she has. I mean... the simplification is daddy issues, but in all seriousness, I don't doubt for a second that many of Lily's issues stem from Larry being a shitty father to her.

Then everyone thought she was losing it when she insisted there was a traitor in the group, which she was right about, but she was unstable. She was unwell, but how do you help someone like that when you don't have training to go about it? Then Lily ends up killing either Carley or Doug and the group turns on her, and either she's left behind or she steals the van and runs away.

Then we don't know what the hell happened to her until we see her again in TFS, but like... a lone woman with decay festering inside of her joining the delta? Exposing her to their methods? I mean, what else did she have to lose? She had nothing, she lost everything, and she has a lot of issues. Survival is easy when you're numb, when you don't care about the individual; they're all just cogs churning to make the system run, and if a piece doesn't cooperate, you get rid of it and find a new one.

Plus I think there's something to say about Lily not wanting to be perceived as weak again. That whole display she put on in the cells? Telling the story of what happened to Minerva and Sophie? I get the criticism that it feels like Lily did a 180 between episodes but like... yeah dude, because it's a performance. It's not just her and Clementine anymore. It's a display of power and authority. She's playing the part and thriving in it as she ensures everyone else is terrified of her.

But then when Clementine and AJ get the upper hand? Again, she's not afraid to play up the pleading to earn enough sympathy to spare her- hell, just to let their guard down enough to strike and get the upper hand again. I mean, she's got nothing else to lose, right? If she doesn't go for it, she'll be killed and sure, you can kill her anyway but at least she tried.

Honestly, I look at Lily in TFS and still see that scared little girl playing the tough bitch, just like Carley said in S1. It's just now escalated from "tough bitch" to a downright vile person. She's so... lost? I suppose? Lost within herself and the monstrous means she's taken to survive.

I get the criticisms of how she was used in TFS, but for me, it's like when people complain about Minerva not getting the redemption arc she supposedly should've gotten, y'know? There's no saving her. Lily was never on our side, and there was no getting her on our side. She wasn't ever going to redeem herself. Even if you spare her and she drifts away on her raft, can someone like her actually find redemption? Or will she just find another group that'll feed into her rot?

Truly, I say let her be horrid. Let her be the piece of shit villain with a few fleeting moments of humanity. Let her drown in the blood she's spilled.

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug on 'Tribe'

When not turning his home into a giant light hazard for Jesus's Birthday or getting into yelling fights in the alley with Bobby Lee (another redneck neighbor who is a DIE HARD 'Bama fan) about SEC football, Doug's been randomly texting me things about the Jedi.

I'll update y'all on that soon enough. (Plo Koon = Sexy Shrimp Daddy?!)

Meanwhile, here is his review of his favorite episode of Season 2 of The Bad Batch...TRIBE, or as Doug calls it 'Chewbacca Junior and the Weed Business'.

Yes, a random fetch quest one in which Clone Force 99 helps out a random Wookiee kid. His favorite. Don't ask.

Need a Doug refresher? Check it out under Doug Talks Star Wars here.

TW: Doug Doug's as is his Doug-like wont. Hold onto your butts. A little calmer since Daddy Warcrimes is MIA in this one.

-----------------------------------------------------------

So we got Daddy Rambo and the gang making counterfeit licenses for underage drinkers or whatever. You gotta do what you gotta do, I guess, and Daddy Rambo will do a lot of things, but obtaining gainful employment ain’t one of them. 

Ryan-from-Accounting is smug as hell about his counterfeiting operation. You’re so smart, Ryan-from-Accounting, why don’t you go to law school and start practicing corporate licensing? At least you can get equity there, ya dingaling.

And Little Orphan Blondie runs away because she’s embarrassed to be seen around them. I get it, kid.

Woah, it’s Chewbacca Junior! Are the lizard and robot people trying to sell him to the circus or something? Oh, he’s a Jedi?! When did this happen, this is awesome! I loved Chewbacca! I love Wookiees! AWESOME!!!

And Little Orphan Blondie is protecting him, go Little Orphan Blondie, go! 

I hope they adopt Chewbacca Junior and get him a collar and a nice bed on the floor of the HMS Search Warrant. They need a pet. Little Orphan Blondie can brush him and put bows in his hair! Do you think he uses a litter box?

They’re taking him home, and look! Little Orphan Blondie is giving him her Lunchables. I’m proud of the Dad Batch, they’re teaching Little Orphan Blondie good morals. Oh, poor wee Chewbacca Junior, he has no family and when he talks it sounds like Jimmers when he’s treed a squirrel*.

But Ryan-from-Accounting can understand him! Ya know, I wonder if his helmet can translate Bitch and that’s how Ryan-from-Accounting talks to his Bitch Wife Laura. 

It would be awesome if they adopt Chewbacca Junior and he attacks people with his lightsaber. He’s like a pet version of an MR-15! Imagine the DAMAGE his furry ass would do on the battlefield! 

Ooh, they made it to Wookieeland! Ya know, it always reminded me of where Jenny and I used to camp in northern California. I wonder if there’s a brewery nearby? I bet Toaster Strudel needs to throw back, that man needs a beer and a restraining order from Daddy Rambo. 

Oh SHIT, looks like the bugs from Klendathu made their way down to Wookieeland. Somebody call the Starship Troopers! Oh, wait, they can talk to those things like Dougie Houser did? Woah. Neat. 

Looks like the Empire found the Wookiee weed farm and torched it. Poor Wookiees, they’re just trying to make an honest living growing herb. Leave ‘em alone!

Which planet makes meth, my money’s on Tatooine, it looks like New Mexico and that place is meth Disneyland, there was a whole TV show about it. 

(Above is...Tatooine?! - Dr Meat Muffin)

Oh man it’s Houma-BBQ-Bitch’s shitty brothers and they’re burning the whole weed operation to the ground. Guess they work for the DEA.

Kick their asses, Wookiees! Now they want Chewbacca Junior, but the Dad Batch is saying FUCK YOU! 

Go Dad Batch go! Fire ‘em up! Destroy the tanks! GO JULIO GO! It’s like Apocalypse Now with Bigfoot!

More Wookiees! And they’re riding giant monkey-cats! AWESOME. Man, I feel stoned just watching this episode. Why can't I stop giggling.

Granny Wookiee says come on in and have some weed! Oh, shit, are they doing ayahuasca? Toaster Strudel ain’t having it, but Julio’s down. Julio’s down for anything, he’s probably gonna stick around, use his pipe laying skills, and get some free ganga out of the deal. Man, we all need a Julio in our life. Love him. 

Oh, poor Chewbacca Junior can’t find a home. Come on, Granny Wookiee, just let him crash with you guys! He can clip weed on the side, he’s got that lightsaber, let ‘em have it. But first, let’s talk to the trees! Did they take mushrooms before this scene, Jesus Christ this really does take place in Humboldt County, doesn’t it.

Ah, nevermind, the gators that run the DEA are here. With Stormtroopers. Oh shit, are the gators wearing Wookiee pelts while fighting Wookiees? That’s some Silence of the Lambs shit right there.

Welp, time for fire fights, Smokey the Bear does not approve of this episode, especially as one of the lizard men chases Chewbacca Junior and Little Orphan Blondie into the woods with a flamethrower. 

Oh shit, there are the bugs! Shit, am I actually cheering on the bugs from Starship Troopers? What is going on here, I’m so confused. Whelp, they’re eating Houma-BBQ-Bitch’s brother, good for them.

Back to Granny Wookiee’s Pot Palace, where Toaster Strudel and Julio throw back her questionable moonshine and smile at each other. If they end up with Wookiee girlfriends, it will be weird, but I will be happy for them. 

And Little Orphan Blondie and Chewbacca Junior are talking to the trees, again. Just watching this episode makes me wanna go back to Electric Forest. Except I don’t think Oceana County has wookiees, but it does have crazy people in the woods I guess. 

*=Jimmers is Doug’s extremely handsome poodle mix dog. His full name is Jimmers Jimothy Jimerson III and they found him as a stray when he was eating trash behind a bowling alley in Nacogdoches. 

Where my Doug fans at? @amalthiaph @eyecandyeoz @merkitty49 @sued134 are the biggest, but let me know if ya wanna be tagged in the next installment!

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode Eight- The Battle Axe of Hatred pt.2

My relisten notes

- DadFact: Glenn has only done a total of $15 of damage to a Hotel by stealing a nice Wine Corker

- DadFact: His favorite holiday is Tax Day (he did his taxes three months earlier)

- DadFact: The whole thing with Barry spanking one of them (which doesn’t make sense later but that’s alright) (I’ve decided that it’s canon that it’s Mercedes father instead)

- MATT DIDNT KNKW LARK AND SPARROW WERE TWINS

- “It’s the same person twice” OMG

- DadFact: #1 Ron thinks all musical are about animals, #2 the only musical Ron has ever seen is Cats, #3 Ron’s favorite musical is Cats (Ron thinks Hamilton is about Ham/Pigs)

- DaddyFact: When Anthony was 19 he was invited to a big meeting thing, he thought it’d be fun to steal a bathrobe (which he did), and the guy who owned it had to pay $1800, and everyday he was hoping that the Boss never realized that it was him

- Wooooowwww they’re playing actual dnd!!! Crazy

- He nuts himself again 😭

- “He’ll never be a father again” 🎵unintentional foreshadowing🎵

- Ooo Darryl riding a bear

- TWO PYRAMIDS ASS TO ASS AYYYYY

- That joke keeps popping up!!!!

- Plot twist Paeden walks out for the Ancestral Protection thingy instead of Frank

- Rons mistreatment of workers starts here (poor Doug)

- OHHH THIS THING GETS BROUGHT UP IN GLENN’S TRIAL AHHHH (pushing the guy back in)

- A bunch of this episode I was homeworking it and trying not to completely snap from my misophonia 👍

- How do I tell people that one of my favorite characters is the car?

- Cern has no idea who the Founding Fathers are 😭

- “I want you love me, but I want you to like me too” MAN CERN IS SUCH A GOOD DAD GOOD GOD

- I forgot how awesome a character Nick was :c

- Does Jodie have a sister??

- BATTLE OF THE BANDSSSSS!!!!!!!

[iwanttoplayagame20]

100 favorite horror movie deaths PT. 4!!

31. Freddy Krueger- Freddy vs Jason

People say he didn't technically die here, but I'm honestly gonna count it. The fight between him and Jason that led to his ultimate decapitation was honestly really freaking cool so I think it deserves a spot on this list. And it's always cool when he dies tbh.

32. Fazio- Leprechaun 3

He basically sets up his own trap in a sense but either way, it's cool. He gets chainsawed in half by the Leprechaun. He was a greedy dumbass and honestly kind of deserved to die. Glad he didn't go out in a boring way.

33. Sheriff Michael Garris- Friday the 13th Part VII: Jason Lives

My man is folded like a lawn chair. This is an obvious pick for one of my all time favorites. Though it did make me sad that he died because all he wanted to do was protect his daughter from what was going on and he ended up dying. I liked him.

34. Simon Kalivoda- Fear Street Part 1: 1994

His death isn't really gross or gory in anyway, it's just the emotional impact that it had on me. He was such a happy character that just lived his life to the fullest as much as he could in a shitty town like Shadyside and it was all taken away cause he was smiling at a friend and being happy and got a fucking axe to the head. I fucking hate that he died.

35. Eric Matthews- Saw IV

Eric wasn't a really great character to be honest. He cheated on his wife and wasn't really great toward his son. So he did and didn't deserve the death he got. His head was absolutely smashed to bits by two blocks of ice swinging down and there was like nothing left. Gnarly but cool.

36. Maynard J Odets- Wrong Turn 2: Dead End

Douche got a stick of dynamite shoved in his pants and he fucking went BOOM. And the face he made right before he went boom, was fucking hilarious. Though I don't get how this guy is supposed to be the other guy from Wrong Turn 5. They don't look or sound alike at all. (The one who died is portrayed by Wayne Robson is this one and the og. Doug Bradley portrays him in Wrong Turn 5, which is a prequel to Dead End)

37. Milo's Family- Sinister 2

Bowls were strapped to their chests, rats were inside those bowls, and those bowls were heated and the rats ate their way out of the people. It was fucked up to be honest but a very memorable kill. Would hate to go out that way.

38. Hunt- The Final Destination

Fucking hate this character with a passion. And kind glad he died. He had his intestines sucked out of him from the pressure in a public pool. Honestly, that's a horrifying way to go. Not because of what happens, but because your in a public place with so many people around you but none of them know what's going on until it's too late.

39. Julius Gaw- Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

The thing I really liked about this was the scene leading up to it. He tried fighting Jason on a rooftop before he got all tuckered out and then Jason decapitated him with a singular fucking punch. That just shows how much brute strength that supernatural man with mommy issues has. Very cool.

40. Tom Weaver- Hot Fuzz

This death wasn't really on-screen and he's kind of a forgettable character. But an old sea bomb rolled over him and was set off after he shot at Nicholas. And he went boom, honestly I think it's cool because he went boom and because of what made the boom.

[billscheft]

I am soooo nourished by the great outpouring of well-deserved love and praise for Tim McCarver. I dug up this 1999 piece I wrote about him for the Times (complete with easy-to-read cut and paste).....

Let's clear up a few things right off the bat:

This is not about money.

This is not about my relationship with Bobby Valentine.

This is not about my tendency to be fair, yet critical.

That said, it's all over between me and the Mets. It was nice. Sixteen years, eight in fair weather. But like Odysseus at sea, I was drawn by a voice, and I sail in the direction of that voice.

In other words, I go with Tim McCarver.

Do you have any idea what this means? This means I have to watch 42 Yankee games on Fox this season. That's the deal. Forty-two New York Yankee games.

Did I mention I was a Red Sox fan? Are you beginning to get the point? Having to watch 42 Yankee games in one year is the Red Sox fan's equivalent of the Witness Protection Program: it's no way to live, and if you're lucky, no one will find you. But these are the sacrifices you make.

They are not the same sacrifices as making time for those less fortunate or telling people with a straight face that Jose Offerman is the missing piece of the puzzle, but they are sacrifices nonetheless. I go where I'm called and I go where I'm wanted. And Tim McCarver wants me to care about the game as much as he does.

I became a Met fan because of Tim McCarver, and now I move on for the same reason. I'll try to leave with class and without rancor, as he did, but it's darn tough. Forty-two Yankee games and I'm not even counting however many additional times Fox carries them on the Saturday afternoon national game. Or the playoffs. But that's my problem. My sacrifice. My growth. My willingness to accept change and all that other healthy hooey.

It is not my intention to go on and on in praise of McCarver. Why, that is the most common criticism viewers have of his analysis: he tends to go on and on about a specific point, endlessly belaboring the same piece of minutiae over and over again to where it is redundant and repetitious and repetitive of the thing that he said moments ago. Like that.

Here's a bulletin: baseball is pieces of minutiae that need belaboring. If that annoys you, you're not paying attention. And people who don't pay attention need to be told things over and over again. Good. Now, what was I just talking about?

Before I heard McCarver, I thought I knew everything about watching baseball. I was doing the double-switch in Strat-O-Matic years before Whitey Herzog thought he invented it. 

Unteachable, all-prescient and wrapped in a shroud of second-guessing, I would sit in the sanctity of my underwear and spew insight faster and keener and certainly more literately than any former player turned broadcaster/cheerleader/stooge of management. And that was just fine, because one of the joys of baseball is the comfort of seeing a familiar face in the booth, and the smugness of feeling superior to that guy. Come on, admit it. You loved Phil Rizzuto because he was always there, and because you knew who was on deck, a better recipe for red sauce and a quicker route to the bridge.

When the Red Sox were coughing up leads throughout the 1970's, their television broadcast team was Dick Stockton and Ken (Hawk) Harrelson. Stockton handled the play-by-play, Harrelson did your rooting for you. My favorite Hawk shill moment came during a game in 1976, when he said, ''You know, I came out to the ball park a little early today, and let me tell you, Doug Griffin put on a show in batting practice.''

(I loved it, and I loved it a dozen years later when Harrelson, now in the Yankee booth, made the same observation, only this time, the guy ''putting on a show'' in batting practice was Wayne Tolleson.)

That's what I grew up with. And that was fine. I didn't question it. Tim McCarver did, and he was willing to involve me.

Who knew there were two schools of thought about guarding the line in the late innings?

Who knew there was one school? Who knew the open-mouth/closed-mouth signal between shortstop and second for covering the bag? I played infield and remember just yelling, ''You take it!'' Who knew that brown patch in right field at Shea Stadium was because Darryl Strawberry didn't adjust to different hitters?

 And who knew that Ralph Kiner could be funny on purpose?

A few years ago, McCarver and Kiner were filling in the pauses during some faceless July night in the National League. There was a shot of a vendor, and McCarver started talking about when he sold peanuts in the stands at Memphis Chicks games as a boy for ''half a cent a bag.'' Kiner rejoined with memories of selling peanuts at polo matches in Palm Springs to celebrities like Will Rogers. The following is the rest of their exchange:

McCarver: ''Will Rogers. Never met a man he didn't like.''

Kiner: ''Well, he never met Fran Healy.''

The next sound you heard was a guy laughing as he fumbled for his cough button.

That's the sound I'm following. To 42 Yankee games. Feel free to pity me.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Soulmate au! Countdown - Harry Hook x Reader -oneshot

soulmate au idea sent in by Anonymous 

=

Everyone in the world was born with a watch, not on their wrists or anywhere attached to them, just a simple watch that would appear when a new soul was born into the world. Doctors would blink, and suddenly, next to the new babe, was a watch.

A watch that had a set date of years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds until the new soul would meet their soulmate, the one destined to love them forever.

Some watches were simple ones, a simple leather band with a plain clock attached to go around their wrist. Some got more…exotic clocks, one person, whose soulmate was an astrologist, watch had planets instead of hands to tell the time.(luckily for the person, who didn’t know how to read the time by looking at planets, there was still a small digital timer in the middle just above the sun) some had intricately carved pocket watches, some had sundials.

Prince Ben’s watch had confused some people, being a pure gold and silver watch, rusted slightly (and unable to be buffed to perfection as so many tried) with a horned dragon decorating the top, the back engraved with thorned vines. It wasn’t till years later, as Ben locked eyes with Mal, the daughter of Maleficent, did the watches ticking stop (small A/N; Ben and Audrey don’t date since they know they aren’t meant to be already. Okay let's get back into it!)

Audrey’s watch hung off a silver necklace, the top cover being diamond-like glass that seemed to shine like magic. Her watch had stopped when she met Chad at only six months old, his rose gold wristwatch stopping at the same time.

Doug's watch, a gorgeous gold-plated pocket watch decorated with heart-shaped red rubies, had stopped when he first locked eyes with Evie, daughter of the Evil Queen, who for a small while had denied that her own watch had stopped ticking, and had only admitted it after she and her friends had proclaimed their decision to turn their backs on their parent's evil ways.

Most people your age had met their soulmate already, you knew some who had yet to meet theirs but mostly everyone had already been found.

Not that you personally knew that.

You hardly talked to anyone really, so how were you to know if someone had found their soulmate yet or not.

You were just a regular person in a school of the descendants of heroes and royalty, a loner at that. The only interesting about you was your watch.

It was a gorgeous gold watch with thin black paint under the gold curved detailing that looked like waves, surrounding the outer rim of the cover, with an anchor and a ship's steering wheel in the middle of the cover, the back was a carved compass, the entire thing connected to a strong bronze chain.

You admired it every day, excitement and anxiety running through you as every second passed. And those feelings were amplified recently.

The clock now read seven days, seven hours, eight minutes, and forty seconds. It was only that until you met your soulmate.

You only hoped they wouldn’t think you weren’t worth their time…as everyone else did.

-

Harry had been born with a pretty plain-looking pocket watch, smooth and silver metal protecting the gears.

You could imagine the surprise he felt when he finally opened it for the first time. The inner works of his watch were beautiful, the silver metal had turned to gold, curving details surrounded the hands and timer, a shining scale texture covered the inside of the cover, never leaving a residue on his finger when he traced it.

Many villain kids were told to never open their watches, being told that it was pointless to even look since they would never need their soulmate in the first place.

Some obeyed, some, like Harry, had gotten too curious and looked anyway, and some just looked because they could.

And Harry couldn't say he regretted looking, every day he grabbed his watch and popped it open, smiling as the ticking hands signified the ever-coming day of meeting his soulmate.

Like now, it read seven days, five hours, three minutes, and seven seconds. Coincidently, it matched the same day he would be going to Auradon prep, seven months after king Ben had invited the original four to Auradon.

His closest friend, Uma, had a plan to get the wand and do what the original four couldn’t. but Harry had another plan.

He wanted to meet his soulmate, he knew they couldn’t have been on the isle, he had met basically everyone on the isle, there was no other explanation than for his soulmate to be in Auradon.

He looked up from his watch to gaze at the bright lights of Auradon, his breath visible as he let out a sigh and leaned against the rails of the lost revenge. “you ready for next week?” he suppressed a flinch as Uma suddenly appeared next to him, joining him to look at  Auradon.

“aye” he simply muttered back, clenching his pocket watch in his hand. He looked away slightly as Uma turned towards him, her brow quirked.

“…you want to find them, don’t you?” Uma asked, turning back to Auradon and resting her chin in her hand.

Harry stayed silent.

Uma reached out and squeezed Harry's shoulder “I won't stop you from doing that, I know our parents told us that soulmates are bullshit but I could give less of a fuck, if you decide not to go through with everything because of them, I’ll leave you two alone…” Harry sighed in slight relief and turned to Uma.

“even if it would ruin yer plans?” Harry asked softly, laughing as Uma grumbled a bit.

“yeah yeah…if you’re happy im happy” Harry tossed his arm over Uma’s shoulder and pulled her into his side, grinning as she quietly complained at the hug.

“Thank yeh Uma” he whispered, closing his eyes as Uma sighed against him and hugged him back.

“you’re my best friend Harry, I would do anything for you” Harry smiled against her hair, squeezing her shoulder a bit before letting her go as she started to bat at his chest “Alright alright that’s enough, come on we got night shit to do” Harry snorted and shook his head a bit, grabbing his hat from the milk crate next to him and flipping it on, whistling slightly as he followed Uma off the ship.

-

You looked up from your summer history essay as a group of girls rushed up to the window, giggling to themselves as they pointed out whatever it was they were talking about.

‘oh right’ you mentally sighed, closing your book and packing it away, knowing that the study hall you were in was going to be filled with the laughter of these girls for who knows how long ‘the new vks’

You spared a glance back at the girls, sighing wistfully to yourself as they smiled amongst each other.

What you would give to have friends like that, but you had always been closed in on yourself and always froze up when someone tried to talk to you, that you had never gotten the chance to make friends.

You shrugged your bag over your shoulder and walked out of the study hall “where to go now” you whispered to yourself, taking out your pocket watch and smiling slightly at it, rubbing your thumb against the wheel before popping it open.

Six hours, forty-five minutes, and seven seconds.

You would meet your soulmate today.

You closed the watch and held it against your chest, letting out a giggly sigh and walking towards the other end of the dorms to get to the other study hall so you would write your essay in peace.

Behind you, you heard king Ben talking, taking a glance back you saw a flash of a scarlet red coat pass by the entrance to the hallway you had just entered. You brushed it off and looked back in front of you.

-

One and a half hours, ten minutes, and forty seconds.

Harry stared anxiously at his watch, his foot tapping rapidly against the floor of his new room. “you know if you just sit and stare at that thing it's not going to go any faster” Gil offered, setting his new laptop down and sitting next to Harry, reaching out to close the watch.

Harry blinked back into reality, pouting at Gil slightly. Gil just gave him a look and pushed the watch towards Harry's chest “sitting in here won't help you find them either, go explore or something, you might find them easier” Harry huffed and grabbed his watch, sticking it in his pocket and walking out of the room “you’ll thank me later!”

-

You groaned a bit as you rolled your shoulders, you had finished your essay, along with a handful of other projects, and had decided you needed a break. So it was off to your “secret” spot near the dorms, it was well hidden by the forest and you had to cross a hanging bridge to get to it so hardly anyone knew about it.

You shrugged off your top and pants, kicking off your shoes and setting everything next to your towel and watch before diving in.

Underneath the water your body shimmered, your legs turning to a transitioning (f/c) and (f/c) tail with a strong fabric-like tail, scales the same color as your tail appeared next to your eyes and trailed down your cheeks, your shoulders being covered as well.

You let out a soft sigh as you swam through the clear water, trailing your fingers across the smooth rocks that lay at the bottom of the lake.

You picked up a particularly shiny clear and black one, swimming back up to the surface and examining it, humming to yourself as you waded through the water.

-There once was a ship that put to sea/ And the name of that ship was the Billy o' Tea/ The winds blew hard, her bow dipped down/ Blow my bully boys blow-

You started to sing one of your favorite sea shanties aloud, closing your eyes and letting yourself drift across the surface of the lake as your voice echoed around you.

- Soon may the Wellerman come/ To bring us sugar and tea and rum/ One day, when the tonguing' is done/ We'll take our leave and go-

-

Harry sighed quietly as he walked around the grounds of Auradon prep, tubbing his thumb against the smooth metal of his watch as the comforting -tick tock- of its gears rang in his ears.

He sighed again as he stopped in the middle of a pathway, running his hand through his messy hair. He pulled out the watch and quirked his brow.

three minutes, forty seconds.

Suddenly something caught his attention, he turned his head towards the forest, his lips separating as a lovely drifted towards him.

He started walking towards it, entering into the forest and pushing past the bushes that covered the main path. He quickly walked over the hanging bridge that led him directly to a sparkly crystal-clear lake.

And wading in the water of that lake was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen or heard.

- No line was cut, no whale was freed/ An' the captain's mind was not on greed/ But he belonged to the Whaleman's creed/ She took that ship in tow -

As he walked closer to the mermaid, he didn’t notice the timer on the watch tick down to the seconds.

3…2...1.

Suddenly the mermaid looked up from their rock and gasped, her glowing (e/c) eyes locking with his ocean blue.

The ticking stopped.

The mermaid squealed in embarrassment and ducked under the water, Harry quickly snapped out of his stupor and ran towards the edge of the lake, kneeling at it and looking around for the mermaid who had suddenly disappeared. “where did yeh go?” he whispered, yelping and falling back on his butt as the mermaid suddenly popped up in front of his face and tried to reach for her items behind Harry.

He watched her struggle to reach toward them before she groaned and flopped on the ground, her top half lying pitifully on the dry ground as her tail angrily hit the surface of the water.

Harry let out a soft chuckle and looked behind him, spotting a gold pocket watch resting just next to a (f/c) towel, he glanced back at the mermaid for a moment before reaching out for the watch and gently handing it to the mermaid.

She quickly popped it open and gasped.

Harry watched as the mermaid just stared at her watch, then slowly look up at him. He took out his watch and popped it open, stopping as he realized the clock had stopped.

00:00:00:00:00:00 blinked rapidly

Harry looked back at the mermaid and turned his watch towards her. She reached out slightly, looking at him for permission to take it.

He pushed it into her hand and she set it next to her watch, a smile growing on her face as the blinking of the timers synchronized perfectly. Only soulmate watches could sync perfectly as they did.

She looked back up at Harry with a wide grin, Harry's heart fluttering like crazy as she did.

“I found you” she whispered in the most melodic voice, squeaking a bit as Harry stood and started to strip out of his clothes “what are you doing?!” she yelled, pushing off the edge and diving down under the water a bit, only her eyes and the top of her head above the water.

“joinin’ yeh,” Harry responded simply, kicking off his shoes and pants and tossing them aside with his shirt, jacket, and belts.

Once he was down to just his underwear, he jumped into the water next to his soulmate, closing his eyes as he sank into the surprisingly deep lake.

Almost immediately after he jumped in, arms wrapped around his waist and kept him afloat. Harry cracked open his eyes to see the glowing ones of his soulmate, their pupils slanted as they stared back at him.

Harry let a smile grow on his lips as he and his soulmate floated under the water. Then Harry's body proceeded to realize he was underwater and that he needed air.

His soulmate watched him look up, realize what he was doing, and grabbed his face. Harry looked at them and let out a muffled squeak as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

He snapped his eyes shut and felt his face burn with a blush as she licked his lips and opened his mouth, breathing into him.

She pulled back and giggled, which oddly wasn’t muffled. Harry opened one of his eyes and pouted slightly as his soulmate covered her mouth with one of her hands as she laughed at his expression.

He took a breath to say something, but then realized he was breathing underwater. He gave her a wide-eyed look and she giggled again.

“mermaid kisses can let the person breath and speak underwater” her voice purred, grabbing his hands and pulling him up to the surface. Harry shook his head, smirking as his soulmate squealed a bit as the water droplets hit her.

“I’m Harry” Harry spoke first, swimming slightly closer to his soulmate and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek “Harry Hook.”

“(y-y/n) (l/n)” she squeaked slightly, Harry smirking at the heat that burned against his lips as he pressed another kiss to her cheek.

“I think” he pulled back and pressed a kiss to her other cheek “you and I are going to get along very well~” he purred, grinning as (y/n) set her forehead against his.

“whys that?” she hummed, pushing her lips together as Harry tightly wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into him.

“a pirate and a mermaid? What's a better match than tha’?”

-end-

Short but sweet, might do another one of the suggestions! Thanks for reading!

permtaglist

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange

@lunanight2012 @daughter-of-the-stars11

@musicarose @remembered-license

@random-thoughts-003 @jatp-rules-my-life

@verboetoperee @imtryingthisout @thecaptainsgingersnap

@rintheemolion​

[maandarinee]

what are all the podcasts you listen to?

anon I'm so glad you asked

Since it is a pretty long list including synopses (stolen from the podcast feed or website because I'm Bad at summaries and in some cases it's been a while since I listened) I'm going to put it under a cut.

I've separated the list into "Complete" (either finished or cancelled) and "Ongoing" podcasts. Some have additional comments by me. Current favorites are marked orange. My eternal beloved are Our Fair City and Wolf 359.

Complete

ars PARADOXICA: "When an experiment in a time much like our own goes horribly awry, Dr. Sally Grissom finds herself stranded in the past and entrenched in the activities of a clandestine branch of the US government. Grissom and her team quickly learn that there's no safety net when toying with the fundamental logic of the universe."

Blackwood: "Five years ago, Molly Weaver, Bryan Anderson, and Nathan Howell started a podcast focused on the local legend of a monster called The Blackwood Bugman. Quickly, the investigation grew out of their control, as they discovered that, not only are the legends seemingly true, many people in Blackwood have turned up dead or disappeared without a trace." --> [this feels like the Blair With Project, but as a podcast. Didn't get a second season due to no funding, but it works as a standalone]

Dreamboy: "Dane, a spun-out musician spending the winter in Cleveland, Ohio, has two main goals: keeping his job at the Pepper Heights Zoo and trying not to waste all his time on Grindr. What he doesn’t expect is to get swept into a story about dreams, about forevers, about flickering lights, about unexplained deaths, about relentless change, and about the parts of ourselves that we wish other people knew to look for. Oh, and also a murderous zebra." --> [very NSFW; does cool things with music! Didn't get a second season due to no funding, but it works as a standalone]

King Fall AM: "...centers on a lonely little mountain town's late-night AM talk radio show and its paranormal, peculiar happenings and inhabitants." --> [cancelled after 100 episodes, ends on a huge cliffhanger]

Our Fair City: "A campy, post-apocalyptic audio drama." --> [I know the description sounds like nothing but just trust me, I love it so much]

Steal the Stars: "...is a gripping noir science fiction thriller in 14 episodes: Forbidden love, a crashed UFO, an alien body, and an impossible heist unlike any ever attempted."

Stellar Firma: "...a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd.'s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7. Join them each episode as they attempt to take listener submissions and craft them into the galaxy's most luxurious, most expensive and most questionably designed bespoke planets. However, with Trexel's corporate shark of a line manager Hartro Piltz breathing down their necks and I.M.O.G.E.N., the station's omnipresent and omniinvasive stationwide A.I. monitoring those necks to within 3 decimal places, they'll be lucky to make it a week before being slurried and recycled into raw human resources." --> [semi-improvised, I thought I'd have a problem with the improv bit because that's not usually my thing, but no, I absolutely devoured this]

TANIS: "...is a serialized docudrama about a fascinating and surprising mystery: the myth of Tanis. Tanis is an exploration of the nature of truth, conspiracy, and information. Tanis is what happens when the lines of science and fiction start to blur." [+ spinoff The Last Movie] --> [I have no clue what the hell is going on here]

The Black Tapes: "...is a serialized docudrama about one journalist's searc for truth, her enigmatic subject's mysterious past, and the literal and figurative ghosts that haunt them both."

The Magnus Archives: "...is a weekly horror fiction anthology podcast examining what lurks in the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organisation dedicated to researching the esoteric and the weird. Join new head archivist Jonathan Sims as he attempts to bring a seemingly neglected collection of supernatural statements up to date, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his small but dedicated team. Individually, they are unsettling. Together they begin to form a picture that is truly horrifying because as they look into the depths of the archives, something starts to look back…"

Time:Bombs: "...a new audio drama podcast about the hilarious world of bomb disposal. Ride along with EOD technician Simon Teller on the busiest night of the year for him and his team - when business is, quite literally, booming."

Wolf 359: "Life's not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He's stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station's sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn't have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spends most of his time creating extensive audio logs about the ordinary, day-to-day happenings within the station. But the Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people's minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that." --> [starts funny, turns very intense]

Ongoing

Alba Salix, Roya Physician (+ The Axe & Crown): "A witch, her apprentice, and her fairy herbalist treat the ills of a fairy-tale kingdom." + "Gubbin the troll tavernkeeper deals with his clueless new landlord, his shady niece, and some new competition."

Archive 81: "A found footage horror podcast about ritual, stories, and sound."

Arden: "A (fictional) true crime podcast about cold cases and the reporter and detective who try to solve them."

Brimstone Valley Mall: "The year is 1999. Lurking somewhere between Hot Topic and the food court, five misfit demons from Hell kill time inciting sin in a suburban shopping mall. When the lead singer of their band goes mysteriously missing, the demons only have two weeks to find him before they play the biggest gig of the millennium - or face the wrath of Satan herself."

CARAVAN: "First rule of Wound Canyon: No one who gets in, ever gets out. So when a brilliant, ghostly specter flies through the sky amid the rain and lightning, Samir stumbles off a steep cliff and into a hidden world, one in which demons, vampires, and all other manner of paranormal creatures take sanctuary." --> [also pretty NSFW and horny in general]

Death by Dying: "The Obituary Writer of Crestfall, Idaho finds himself deeply in over his head as he investigates a series of strange and mysterious deaths… when he is supposed to simply be writing obituaries. Along the way he encounters murderous farmers, man-eating cats, haunted bicycles, and a healthy dose of ominous shadows." --> [I had to stop listening to this in public because it kept making me undignified laugh and snort noises]

Desperado: "Blood magic, Voodoo magic, old gods, new gods: We've got it all! Follow the story of misfits from all over the world, as they try to survive and protect their heritage from modern-day crusaders."

EOS 10: "Doctors in space, a deposed alien prince, a super gay space pirate and a fiery nurse who'll help you win your bar fight."

Girl In Space: "Abandoned on a dying ship in the farthest reaches of known space, a young scientist fights for survival (and patience with the on-board A.I.). Who is she? No one knows. But a lot of dangerous entities really want to find out. Listen as the story unfolds for science, guns, trust, anti-matter, truth, beauty, inner turmoil, and delicious cheeses. It’s all here. In space."

Janus Descending: "...follows the arrival of two xenoarcheologists on a small world orbiting a binary star. But what starts off as an expedition to survey the planet and the remains of a lost alien civilization, turns into a monstrous game of cat and mouse, as the two scientists are left to face the creatures that killed the planet in the first place. Told from two alternating perspectives, Janus Descending is an experience of crossing timelines, as one character describes the nightmare from end to beginning, and the other, from beginning to the end." --> [absolutely harrowing horror]

Love and Luck: "...is a fictional radio play podcast, told via voicemails and set in present day Melbourne, Australia. A slice of life queer romance story with a touch of magic, it follows the relationship between two men, Jason and Kane, as their love grows both for each other and their community." --> [soft and gay, feels like a warm hug]

Potterless: "Join Mike Schubert, a grown man reading the Harry Potter series for the first time, as he sits down with HP fanatics to poke fun at plot holes, make painfully incorrect predictions, and bask in the sassiness of the characters." --> [the only non-fiction podcast on the list]

Primordial Deep: "When a long extinct sea creature washes up on the shores of Coney Island, marine biologist Dr. Marella Morgan is contacted by a secret organization to investigate the origins of the creature’s sudden and unnatural resurgence. Soon, she and a team of experts find themselves living on the research station The Tiamat, traveling along the abyssal plains as they search for answers far below the waves. But there are dangers in these ancient waters. Reawakened, prehistoric monsters are rising from the deep -- jaws wide and waiting, and in the darkness, something is stirring."

Red Valley: "No one at Overhead Industries wants to talk about defunct research station Red Valley, and account man Warren Godby is out of his depth. When he meets Gordon Porlock, a disgruntled archivist with a bag of tapes from the station’s last known occupant, they will begin a journey to the limits of experimental science, confront horror and trauma from the past, present and future, and try to remember the cheat codes from Sonic the Hedgehog 2."

Rusty Quill Gaming: "An actual play podcast following a mixed ability group of comedians, improvisers, gamers, and writers as they play through the extended, tabletop roleplaying campaign Erasing the Line, an original game world of the GM’s crafting." --> [took me a while to get into because I have trouble focusing on non-scripted things, but eventually I got really hooked on the plot and attached to the characters. This podcast is really fucked up at times if you think about it]

SAYER: "A narrative fiction podcast set on Earth’s man-made second moon, Typhon. The eponymous SAYER is a highly advanced, self-aware AI created to help acclimate new residents to their new lives, and their new employment with Ærolith Dynamics." --> [feels like Welcome to Night Vale but narrated by GLaDOS from Portal]

StarTripper!!: "Join Feston Pyxis on a road-trip through the cosmos, as he leaves behind his old life in search of the best and wildest experiences the galaxy has to offer!"

The Amelia Project: "...is a secret agency that fakes its clients' deaths, then lets them reappear with a brand new identity! A black comedy full of secrets, twists... and cocoa."

The Big Loop: "...a biweekly anthology series. Each episode is a self-contained narrative exploring the strange, the wonderful, the terrifying, and the heartbreaking. Stories of finite beings in an infinite universe." --> [I don't like anthologies, except this one]

The Bright Sessions: "Dr. Bright provides therapy for the strange and unusual; their sessions have been recorded for research purposes." --> [think X-Men, but with therapy instead of a school]

The Deca Tapes: "Recordings have surfaced of ten people that are locked into the same space together. We don’t know where they are, or if they'll get out. But the answers must be somewhere on these tapes."

The Silt Verses: "Carpenter and Faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed god, travel up the length of their deity’s great black river, searching for holy revelations. As their pilgrimage lengthens and the river’s mysteries deepen, the two acolytes find themselves under threat from a police manhunt, but also come into conflict with the weirder gods that have flourished in these forgotten rural territories."

The White Vault: "Follow the collected records of a repair team sent to Outpost Fristed in the vast white wastes of Svalbard and unravel what lies waiting in the ice below."

Tides: "...is the story of Dr. Winifred Eurus, a xenobiologist trapped on an unfamiliar planet with hostile tidal forces. She must use her wits, sarcasm and intellectual curiosity to survive long enough to be rescued. But there might be more to life on this planet than she expected." --> [think The Martian, but on a water planet]

Unwell, a Midwestern Gothic Mystery: "Lillian Harper moves to the small town of Mt. Absalom, Ohio, to care for her estranged mother Dorothy after an injury. Living in the town's boarding house which has been run by her family for generations, she discovers conspiracies, ghosts, and a new family in the house's strange assortment of residents."

VAST Horizon: "Nolira is an agronomist tasked with establishing agriculture in a new solar system, but when she wakes up on a now- empty colony ship, the whole of her plan disappears. The ship has been set adrift, with numerous mission-critical problems requiring immediate attendance outside of her area of expertise. Nolira is aided by the ship’s malfunctioning AI, which acts as her confidant and companion during the fight for survival."

Victoriocity: "Even Greater London, 1887. In this vast metropolis, Inspector Archibald Fleet and journalist Clara Entwhistle investigate a murder, only to find themselves at the centre of a conspiracy of impossible proportions."

We Fix Space Junk: "...follows seasoned smuggler Kilner and reluctant fugitive Samantha as they travel the galaxy, dodging bullets and meeting strange and wonderful beings as they carry out odd jobs on the fringes of the law."

Welcome to Night Vale: "Twice-monthly community updates for the small desert town of Night Vale, where every conspiracy theory is true. Turn on your radio and hide."

Within the Wires: "Stories told through found audio from an alternate universe."

Wooden Overcoats: "Rudyard Funn and his equally miserable sister Antigone run their family's failing funeral parlour, where they get the body in the coffin in the ground on time. But one day they find everyone enjoying themselves at the funerals of a new competitor - the impossibly perfect Eric Chapman! With their dogsbody Georgie, and a mouse called Madeleine, the Funns are taking drastic steps to stay in the business…" --> [one of THE funniest podcasts I have ever listened to]

[buddiebeginz]

tw: child abuse/other references to abuse

Finally caught up to the current episodes of 911. I have a lot of thoughts on Buck and Maddie and their family situation from Buck Begins (and the episodes before it). From stuff I’ve seen around online I get the impression that most people loved Buck’s begin episode but it’s probably my least favorite of the show thus far along with Eddie’s ep. I love those characters but I don’t feel the show did their origin stories justice especially not when compared to the kinds of episodes the other characters had.

As for Buck’s story I was glad we were able to learn a lot of new information about his past, considering that was one of my big issues with Eddie’s ep that it felt like a lot of repetitive info we already knew. I’m glad we got to see what Buck’s life was like before he became a firefighter and learn more about his relationship with Maddie and that he had traveled a lot. Still as someone who grew up in an abusive home I feel like Buck’s origin story with his parents was handled pretty carelessly at points.

It’s kind of a common thing I’ve seen with shows though unfortunately. It just seems that most mainstream media doesn’t know how to handle abuse storylines (especially abusive parents) unless it’s storylines dealing with more commonly understood abuse like physical or sexual. If it’s abuse like Buck and Maddie endured where their life looked perfect on the surface but underneath there’s neglect and emotional abuse tv shows often give the parents an excuse (like they were grieving) and finds a way for the family to come back together at the end. Because they weren’t really “that bad”. But emotional abuse like Buck endured can sometimes be worse than physical.

It’s clear that Buck’s parents are toxic and that Maddie and Buck should both stay as far away from them as possible. I was really bothered by the scene with Buck and his parents at the firehouse. It felt like the show sort of absolved Buck’s parents of all their wrong doing and made it seem like they cared about him, like they always had when it was clear they never really did. They had him to save Daniel and when he couldn’t it’s obvious they resented him. I mean look at that whole thing with the baby box. That’s how little they cared about him. They didn’t even make a box to remember his important moments. Yes people can grow and change but they don’t do it over night and abusers rarely change.

I know there was a line Buck said (to Maddie) at the end about how he could forgive them because he’s never felt like he had a relationship with them in the first place so it didn’t really matter, which makes sense in theory but in real life that’s never how it is when you’ve grown up with abusive parents. You can try and detach yourself emotionally from them all you want but they’re still your parents, there’s still a part of you that will always hurt from never being loved the way you deserved by the people who were supposed to love you the most. Things like that don’t get wrapped up all nice and neat like like it felt like they tried to do with Buck and his parents. I am glad Buck got to express some of how he felt when they all had that dinner together but he definitely didn’t owe his parents forgiveness.

------------

The part I had the biggest issue with though was at the end when Buck went to see Maddie. Buck had every right to be angry and remain angry for awhile, at the very least Buck had a right to tell Maddie how he felt and express why he was angry and hurt by what she did and I felt like the show robbed him of that.

Buck walked in the door talking about how he had basically lashed out on Maddie because he knew that no matter what she would forgive him. It’s not Maddie who needed to do the forgiving it was Buck. Buck had trusted her his whole life. She had been like a defacto parent for all intents and purposes as his parents refused to be there for him the way he needed and now he finds out the one person in this world who has been a constant in his life (at least before he joined the 118) has lied to him about something huge. It makes sense he wouldn’t just shake that off. So for the show to just have him come in and act like everything is fine with him and Maddie I felt like was a huge problem and major disservice to Buck’s character and growth.

I’m not saying I didn’t want Maddie and Buck to make up, I definitely did. But Buck has never been good at putting his true feelings first and expressing himself. Buck has been selfish at times (plenty in season 1) but he has never been good about speaking up for what he needs and speaking truthfully to the people in his life about things he was dealing with. I mean he barely told Abby how he felt when he saw her again, he mostly stayed quiet and let her make it all about herself when he really should have been like “wtf why did you ghost me for no reason?”. Or when he didn’t tell everyone how hard he was pushing himself to go back to work and then developed a blood clot, or when he was scared to tell everyone he was seeing a therapist. He holds a lot back.

My point is if we’re supposed to be seeing Buck mature into a “better” version of himself he even said something about Buck 3.0 in a recent episode. How can that change happen if the show doesn’t let him evolve and let his relationships evolve. Even with the 118. I know they love him but I feel like they still see him as the hot headed screw up from season 1 sometimes. It’d be nice if they saw how much he’s grown too. (Not talking about Eddie. Eddie sees Buck more than anyone else does. He was the only one who told Buck he had every right to express how he felt and that he didn’t have to forgive his parents.)

Back to Maddie I think it was vital for Buck and for their relationship that we should have seen Buck tell her something like “it hurt that you kept that from me when you were the only family I ever really had (before the 118)”. I love Buck and Maddie’s relationship so I’m not saying I wanted some huge fight or for it to get drawn out on the show but I wanted Buck to express his pain and for him to call Maddie out on how wrongly she handled things. I know that she was also a victim of their parents abuse (not to mention everything with Doug) but that doesn’t absolve her from her lies to Buck once they both weren’t living with their parents anymore.

To be honest I don’t even understand why Maddie called her parents to come to LA. She said something about how because she has a baby on the way she wanted to reconnect with them but there is no connecting with people who are that toxic. And her need to connect with them shouldn’t have had to involve Buck if he didn’t want to see them. I definitely don’t understand why Maddie thought it was her place to tell their parents about Buck going to therapy especially without asking him. She told Buck that he should open up and tell them how he’s been feeling but like why? They clearly never cared about his feelings before and it was obvious when they all had dinner together they still don’t. At the dinner I didn’t like how Maddie seemed to be quiet most of the time or trying to just keep the peace with her parents vs standing up for Buck the way he did for her. At one point their mother got upset talking about the hospital and it sounded like she was going to talk about Daniel and Maddie stopped her. It’s like Maddie didn’t want the secret to get out to Buck either. Yet Maddie had no problem telling Chimney.

I’ve seen people saying stuff like no one better hate on Maddie. I don’t hate Maddie but I have a lot of issues with choices she made and the fact that it didn’t feel like she owned up to them to Buck at the end. It’s altered how I look at her and her relationship with Buck to a extent. Maddie lied to Buck even when she didn’t have to anymore. She told other people something that she should have only been telling Buck. She told her parents Buck’s business. She brought her parents to LA without asking Buck if he wanted to see them. She tried to excuse her parents by saying “they were grieving” . Grief is not an excuse to keep huge secrets from your children, to lie to them continually, and it’s definitely not an excuse to abuse your children.

I have empathy for what Buck’s whole family went through including his parents. I can’t imagine the kind of pain that parents would go through losing their child. But no child should have to bare the burden of their parents pain and that’s essentially what they made Maddie and Buck do.

I know this got pretty long but Buck is my favorite character I relate to him a lot, even more so after watching some of the current episodes. These eps about his family were just painful. I wanted to protect Buck because I felt like no one in his family was. I know what he was feeling in these episodes. Alone and unloved and like he couldn’t trust anyone and like no one in his family was on his side.

The whole montage at the end with Maddie and Buck which was supposed to tug on our hearts and remind us of this great bond they share as siblings ended up feeling kind of hollow to me. I think it could have been a beautiful scene if the show had used it after allowing them to talk about what had happened. It would have shown all they had been through and how they had grown and were moving forward. That they were all the (biological) family they needed and their parents didn’t matter. But since the show didn’t allow that kind of recognition the montage felt more like the show was saying we’re just going to sweep all that drama under the rug now it’s over and done with, here’s some pretty pictures. You don’t instantly move on from knowing someone you trusted lied to you your whole life. I just really wish the show would have done better for Buck in these episodes and better with telling a storyline about abuse. I know this is probably an unpopular opinion but I just felt like I needed to rant about it. If you made it down this far thanks for reading. 💗

[1337wtfomgbbq]

I gotta rant for a second here. I hate this app. Okay maybe not this whole app, more the people on here. Specifically the people in the supernatural community. Yes talking to you. I can’t believe I’m even back into this with you guys.

I know people can pick and chose which characters they like and which they dislike. I know, for some trauma and whathaveyou also plays into what they feel towards a character.

But I am just so mad. I’m on a little bit of a rewatch, as you are, of season 1 to 3 (maybe some episodes of 4 and 5) because those are the only good seasons, and I just wanna look at some posts of my favorite character.

But my favorite character happens to be John.

TLDR: John's character is complex as fuck and people like to oversimplify and villify him, for no reason other than „BuT My DaAAadYY WaS ShiTTy!!!!“

And I get it. People on here disregard season 1-3, even the writers disregarded what JDM wanted John to be: “I don’t think he’s as screwed-up as other people do,” Morgan told EW. “I think he is a guy who’s got a tremendous amount of love for his family. He was willing to die for his sons, willing to put himself in a place to where he could lose his life for revenge on what killed his wife. So as much has been said about John or that I’ve heard about John, I think what is missing is that he shows love in different ways. Maybe he wasn’t a big hugger and he didn’t say the right things when he should’ve — and there’s a bigger picture about getting your kids into hunting ghosts that I should acknowledge — but I think at his core he really loved his family and was willing to sacrifice everything. So I never looked or played John in a way that there was any malice toward his sons.”

People project what went wrong in their lifes and with their fathers on this app SO HARD. To be fair they do that everywhere. But it's so infuriating when it's done to a character you love so much.

And as much as I wanna be understanding I am just so pissed.

Hear me out: Back when I first started watching supernatural (I was fucking 12 back then, can you believe that) and my friend was all „OMG Sam is such a treat. He's mine!“ I thought, okay I'm gonna take Dean then.

The coin finally dropped on me in 'Shadow' and I realized „Heck, screw Dean, I'm taking John!“ (Not that I told my friend that, LOL. I hadn't realized just then that I prefer older guys)

And attraction is one thing, but the character spoke to me on such a deep level too. I mean, you got a dude whos wife died in a way that he cannot explain in a rational way, only to have his eyes opened to the supernatural by Missouri. And it turns out whatever killed his wife also did some fucked up shit to his kid and is after, not only his youngest but, all of them.

So he's forced to take his kids on the run. But, he's also an ex-marine, he's a soldier and he can't leave other people to die at the hands and claws and teeth of monsters and ghosts and strigas and whathaveyou. Which leaves him struggling to ballance protecting and caring for his kids and saving people and hunting things, AND finding the thing that killed his wife.

The way John's situation was set up (ignoring for a second what we learn in later seasons) and the way Sam was brought up by him created a relationship that was bound to escalate; it was only a matter of time.

Season 1 to 3 we got a John that was distant and rough, but a John that recognized he fucked up along the way and who saught to rectify where he went wrong with his boys.

Season 1 episode 20: „You gotta understand something. After your mother passed all I saw was evil, everywhere. And all I cared about was keeping you boys alive. I wanted you...prepared. Ready. Except somewhere along the line I ... uh ... I stopped being your father and I ... I became your, your drill sergeant. So when you said that you wanted to go away to school, all I could think about, my only thought was, that you were gonna be alone. Vulnerable. Sammy, it just... it never occurred to me what you wanted. I just couldn't accept the fact that you and me -- We're just different.“

And guess what, Sam admits seconds later: „We're not different. Not anymore. With what happened to Mom and Jess... Well we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone.“

Season 1 episode 21: „I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home. I want....I want Mary alive. It's just....I just want this to be over.“

John literally on the show in person, Jeffrey Dean Morgan Season 1, admits that he didn't want ANYTHING OF WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHAT HE HAD TO DO TO HAPPEN!!!!

Sure, Sam suggested to Dean that John's just „working overtime on Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later“ in the very first episode but we never see John drink alcohol, for all he's on screen in season one, ONCE. (1x1) Suggesting that John did have a drinking problem but somewhere between Sam going off to college and the pilot he kicked that habit.

Sure, Sam is clearly vindictive BUT, when faced with a kid with a clearly abusive father, he also says that, „Well, it coulda gone a whole other way after Mom. A little more tequila and a little less demon hunting and we coulda had Max' childhood. All things considered, we turned out okay. Thanks to him.“ (1x14)

We see him cry on multible occasions in season one and two, we see him hug both Sam and Dean and tell BOTH OF THEM that he is proud of them. Heck, he couldn't shut up about how proud he was of them. Like Jerry told Sam in 1x4 „Well, he was real proud of you. I could tell, He talked about you all the time.“ He kept Sam's soccer trophie, and Dean's first sawed off. He fucking died to safe Dean.

Yeah, he told Dean that he'd have to kill Sam if he goes evil but...

Let's take into consideration season 4 and 5, and John wasn't all too wrong for telling Dean this. Even if we ignore all that, as John probably didn't have the full picture, John didn't knew the extend of Sam's powers. As is always said, „With great power comes great responsibility“. We have seen in comics, shows, movies, all over pop culture and history, how easily great power can corrupt, don't matter how nice and righteous that person is.

Let's take into consideration what was added in season 4 and 5: Like John having another family, the fact that cupid had to get him and Mary together, Mary making a deal with Azazel, the few demons (not even all of them) Lucifer showed Sam who had been put into his life by yellow eyes; even that just adds more credence to the already established character.

Of course John was bound to have flings after Mary, you can't expect a widower to just be celibate forever. And it wasn't even that he bailed on her, he literally didn't know there was a child until twelve years later.

And considering John's erratic 'work schedule' and how little we know of Kate, maybe it was her that wanted John not to have much contact to her son. The whole situation with Adam isn't exactly clear, and told through the eyes of a ghoul. Plus, we all saw where John's decision to leave Adam in the dark about the supernatural had him end up (namely killed by a ghoul).

The fact that cupid had to get John and Mary together only gives more ammunition for my argument that John was only working with what was given to him. Pretty much everyone from hell to heaven was meddling in his life.

Getting ahead with headcanons here but, for all we know John and Mary would've never ended up together; for all we know Mary was a lesbian and John was bi; for all we know they could've still worked out without cupid's help. Who knows? We don't because heaven took that decision away from both John and Mary.

The fact that Mary made a deal with Azazel to safe John's life in exchange for Azazel to be able to enter her home in ten years time, again, caused something to happen down the line that affected John and the boys that John had no control over.

And I gotta thank Lucifer for his part, because it gives EVEN MORE credence as to why John couldn't give Dean and Sam a normal life. He reveals SOME of the people Azazel planted into Sam's life that were actually possessed by demons.

„LUCIFER: Look closely. None of these little devils look familiar to you? SAM: That's Mr. Bensman... One of my grade-school teachers. LUCIFER: And that's your friend Doug from that time in East Lansing. And Rachel... your prom date. Sam Winchester, this is your life. Azazel's gang – watching you since you were a rugrat, jerking you around like a dog on a leash. I know how you feel about them. Me too. So, what do you say you and I blow off a little steam?“ (5x22)

A few episodes earlier we found out that his friend Brady, the one that introduced him to Jess, was actually possessed by a demon, and the one that fucking killed her.

„BRADY (chuckles): Brady hasn't been Brady in years. Not since, oh... middle of our sophomore year?

SAM: What?

BRADY: That's right. You had a devil on your shoulder even back then. All right, now, let it all sink in.

SAM: You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch! (Sam approaches Brady, Dean holds him back) You introduced me to Jess!

BRADY: Ding, ding! I think he's got it!“ (5x20)

All of this paints a clear picture for me, of a man that got played by fate and heaven and hell and was only trying to play the cards all of them dealt him to the best of his ability. Did he fuck up along the way, yes, did he show remorse for that and did he wish he could've given Sam and Dean a better life, Yes.

I completely understand people liking one character and disliking another, even projecting onto characters I get. And I get that people's life experiances lead them to different conclusions.

But it pisses me off so much that I can't go into the 'John Winchester' tag without having to read some shit as fuck take on John.

I have to read people saying that he never told Dean he was proud of him and that the only time he did so he was possessed by Azazel. Which isn't even true, but a motherfucking lie.

Season 2, episode 1; when John WASN'T POSSESSED ANYMORE he said to Dean: „You know, when you were a kid... I'd come home from a hunt. And after what I'd seen... I'd be wrecked. And you... You'd come up to me... you'd put your hand on my shoulder, and you'd look me in the eye. You'd say, "It's okay, Dad." Dean. I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to say that to me. I should've been saying that to you. You know, I put... I put too much on your shoulders. I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sam, and you took care of me. You did that. And you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know... that I am so proud of you.“

I have to read people forget or disregard that John was literally a righteous man. Alastair tried to break John and John didn't break for a century and then clawed his way OUT OF HELL TO SAFE HIS SONS IN 2x22. John must've had righteousness in heaven (which would come through faith in Jesus) and righteousness on earth (which would come through living through the commandments) as long as that's what the writers meant with 'righteous man'.

I have to read stuff John would apparently do only because we learn in 'Dark side of the Moon' that John and Mary's marriage wasn't all sunshine and rainbows and that John even moved out for a period. Even though we don't know who caused that fight and what it was about, literally it could've been Mary's fault and John only left to cool off. And even if not, marriages aren't just sunshines and rainbows. Fights happen, bad stuff is worked out. That would be true even without the cupid spell.

I have to read someone projecting their experiance with their father onto John. I have to read about someone saying John would've been such a dick because he was in the military and fought in the vietnam war, and we all know that's what all sodiers back then were (dicks). I have to read about how homophobic and transphobic John obviously was. I have to read about how much John would've been racist to Sam and Dean if they'd been mixed.

John was born in 1954, he has to be homophobic and transphobic and racist and bigoted and everthing you can think of. It can't be possible for someone to be born during that time and not be, right. (I hope you recognize the sarcasm)

Everybody is screaming 'child abuse' as loud as they can without taking into account the unique world those characters inhabit and the situation fate, heaven and hell put John and the boys into.

Dean could dig himself out of his grave because John used to bury them alive and had them dig their way out of a coffin as training!!!? Are yall good?? Literally what did your parents do to you, what went wront in your life that you think shit like this?!

And I get it, you can headcanon all you want. I myself headcanon John as bi and that Azazel knew and used this fact.

The writers did John so dirty in later seasons, and I'm not even alone in this, JDM agrees with me.

„But it always bugged me that the John that I played is different than the John that has been portrayed since I haven't been around. I really wanted the opportunity to be able to come back and make amends in a way and try to fix the sullied name of this character. But more than that, it's three friends, life lived. It feels like we've been friends for a lifetime now, getting to reunite in a place that we love and that we met and do what we do and I think that is super cool. So not only does John win in getting to come back and see his boys and Mary again and hopefully make some amends, it's just as cool for me, the actor, to be able to come back and see everybody.“

I'm sorry, but if Snape fans are allowed to be pissed about people suggesting Snape would've been creeping on Harry if he had been female and looked like Lilly, I can be pissed about everybody and their grandma in this fucking fandom painting John in the worst light possible.

JDM created such a great character with depth and who was interesting, even in season 4 and 5 they were still respectfull to his character, but the later seasons were just *throws up *

And I mean, I get it, I disregard canon too. Like, I disregard everything after season 5, that's Sam hallucinating in hell to me. Sometimes even after season 3, cause I don't feel like dealing with the angels, and cas and destiel and all that.

I get it, I get it, I get it.

But I too have the right to be pissed off about the way people like to shit on my fav.

Long story short, I love John and how complex and grey his character is and I HATE IT how simple and 'black and white' people wanna make him out to be. I wanna punch a bitch. I wanna throw hands right now.

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

Upon thinking about it more, I do want to say that I was absolutely NOT disappointed with Buck Begins. It was really good! Oliver Stark and Jennifer Love Hewitt and the actors who played the younger versions of them were all amazing!

I also 100% read Buck as being bisexual in the episode. He was absolutely flirting with the guy at the bar! And a bi person is still bi even when they're with someone of a different gender, I would never claim otherwise! I'm bisexual myself, I get it. I was just hoping for it to be explicitly stated in canon is all. Or even if they didn't use the word (like most network shows don't), they they would show him having a fling with a guy or something! I just want Buck to be canonically bisexual so bad, and it felt like a huge missed opportunity.

I just... felt more emotionally from the prior episode. The "Love me anyway" line from 4x04 absolutely broke me. I wish I had felt more from Buck's emotional state in the factory fire. Like I said, I think the lack of reaction from the other characters when the explosion happened. I felt robbed of Bobby and Chimney and Eddie's reactions. If you look closely you can see the fear in their eyes, but... I was hoping for a little more.

(I was also not expecting any sort of a big reaction from Eddie like lots of fans were, because that's just not who he is. There was just almost nothing shown, which was disappointing.)

Thr firefam having his back was peak poetic cinema and I will forever be grateful for that moment.

And I *know* things were different because of Covid. I just... even trying to de-hype it in my mind going in, I ended up feeling a bit disappointed.

Maybe it's just because Chimney Begins was so amazing and I can't help but compare the Begins episodes? Even though I'm trying not to... god I wish I could love it the way so many other fans did!

Also, Nurse Omar is my new favorite side character. I loved how invested he got with Buck's life! And he seemed like the only person who Maddie could actually call a friend at the time. And how he desperately tried to get her to leave Doug, but he couldn't force her to, so he just supported her however he could. He was great and I was glad we got to see him.

I guess I'm just sick of the reminders of Doug. He existed, of course he would be mentioned in the flashbacks, but I didn't want to keep seeing the reminders of what he did to Maddie. Hopefully he can stay in the past now.

So over all, I did like the episode. It just felt a little lackluster compared to some of the others, but none of that is on the actors. They were all incredible. It's more on the writers and the editors.

Maybe it will be more impactful upon rewatch once the season is over. Maybe they'll come back to some of these plot threads and keep addressing Buck's emotional state.

I'm still holding out for a Buddie "we need to talk" cliffhanger at some point. Is there a patron saint or god for bisexuals? Because we need a serious prayer circle 🤡🤡🤡

-Quarantine Anon

Those two knocked it out of the park. I watched the episode over my lunch break and was screaming into my hands for so much of the time.

I did not mean to go off in an angry bisexual rant (the LoT fandom has left some marks on me) and I’m sorry about that. Maybe there was some stuff that gave more hints that got left on the cutting room floor? (Whoever is doing editing, we need to talk about those cut tiny scenes!) And it may be a network thing too. IDK.

“Love me anyway” was absolutely heartbreaking and it’s hard to top. Massively hard. There might have been some self projection going on with me watching the factory fire, I dunno. And if we weren’t in a pandemic, maybe we would have seen more reaction without the masks. Plus, yes- good point on Eddie.

That moment- showing what family is- that is gonna stick with the fandom for so long. I expect to see it in the next 118 firefam gifsets.

Chimney Begins was a goddamn masterpiece of hope and pain and I still remember how it tore me apart. Maybe Buck Begins will be better with age? Who knows?

Omar was awesome and I fell in love with him. I’m kinda sticking with an idea that he was so happy when Maddie didn’t come into work after she ran away because she’d finally ditched Doug.

Doug is a tough subject. He’s a part of history, but one people want to forget. It’s hard to watch that shit. 

Maybe we should fight the editors for the cuts?

YES A BUDDIE ‘WE NEED TO TALK’ MOMENT!!! Does Apollo or Dionysus count for the bisexual protection? Lady Gaga? IDK. But imagine that happening before hiatus and then something again that’s definitely A THING by the end of the season.

[backofftubby]

Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley begins.

Chapter 2: “You scared the shit out of me.” 

‘Shit, that was close’ Buck thought as he stood up from his yellow SUV. It was pure luck he managed to break just in time to avoid the huge pile up that had formed in front of him because some douche driving a ferrari had decided to switch the lane at place when there was no room. There goes my day off at the beach, Buck thought, wondering how long it would take from him to get back to the apartment.

He had been living at Florianópolis, the capital of southern Brazil’s Santa Catarina state, famous for its beaches, for two weeks now. But he still hadn’t had time to actually go to the famous beaches yet, apart from working as a bartender in a bar next to a beach. Not that Buck was a beach bum really, but he really just wanted to find a nice place to enjoy the sun and get some rest, it had been a busy few weeks.

He wasn’t exactly sure how he had ended up here. All he knew was that he was sort of lost what to do with his life, so he had decided to just leave and see what the world had to offer. He hadn’t planned too far ahead. He had had a little stop at Cabo, but it wasn’t a place he wanted to stay for a long time. From there he had found his way to Florianópolis through a couple of pit stops. He liked it so far and had done a three month contract with a little beach bar. He didn’t have much experience with bartending, but he liked being around people (and alcohol) and was ready to learn. He had soon noticed the bartending skills weren’t actually the most important quality here, what really mattered were his people skills. Plus he was a natural flirt, so he had soon become a hit with the customers.

---------------

It took three hours before Buck was back at the nice apartment he shared with a couple co-workers, twins Adam and Cathy. They seemed nice, but Buck hadn’t had time to hang out with them much yet. That was about to change apparently, as both of them were at the condo when Buck arrived back there.

“Oh hi,” Cathy smiled. “Was the beach okay?

“I wouldn’t know, never got there. There was a huge crash blocking my way, it took me ages to get back here.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” she said sympathetically. “But you are in luck, we were just about to go Rush, join us?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s this huge inside trampoline park near here, wanna come?” said Adam who had appeared behind Buck making Buck startle.

“Shit, you scared me!” 

“Sorry, but are you coming?” Adam sounded quite keen for Buck to come with them, he thought.

“Sure, why not.” Buck said smiling.

------------

He didn’t regret his decision, the place was amazing! There were over one hundred trampolines in the park area, including an exciting free fall from the 5 meter Stunt Jump, which soon became Buck’s favorite. He didn’t know how long they had been there, but the way his stomach growled, it must have been a long time.

After the fun they stopped at a cozy little restaurant close by to grab some food.

“So I assume this place was a hit?” Cathy asked. 

“Sure was, need to get back there asap, loved it!” Buck was beaming, still having a little adrenaline rush from all the fun.

“Maybe next time, take it a bit easier, yeah? You scared me a couple of times the way you were jumping around doing all sorts of flips.”

“There she goes again, being a mother hen... sisters, eh?” Adam said, rolling his eyes.

“I know all about them,” Buck laughed.

“So you have a sister too then?” Cathy asked.

“Yeah, a big sister,” Buck said smiling “She actually just got married before I left.”

“Oh that’s nice!”

“Yeah, I guess,” Buck said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh, you don’t like the guy, feel protective?” Cathy said, looking at Adam and continued “He never likes any of my boyfriends.”

“No that’s not it, at least not all. I just get this vibe from Doug, I dunno how to explain it...but Maddie was super happy on her wedding day. It was nice.” Buck said smiling.

“Besides, I don’t hate all your boyfriends, but we all know I have the best taste when it comes to guys,” Adam said, winking at Buck.

----------------

Eddie didn’t remember how he had run to Buck’s car. How he had forced the door open. How he had dragged Buck out of the car before it had been burned down by the flame started from the gas leak in the car next to Buck’s in the pile up. Eddie didn’t remember how he had told the paramedics first at the scene how to do their jobs. He didn’t remember how he had managed to take Christopher at Carla’s before driving to the hospital. 

All he could remember was Buck’s lifeless body. The huge cut at his head which was bleeding to Buck’s white t-shirt. Eddie was pacing down at the hospital corridor, waiting for Buck to come out of his surgery and praying for the best. Rest of the 118 had wanted to be here, but the storm had wrecked quite a havoc at the city and it was all hands on deck kind of situation. Bobby hadn’t called Eddie back to work though, which now that he thought about it, was kind of weird, not that he would have gone to work anyway. There was no place else he would be right now. It was probably for the best though that nobody else was here, as Eddie didn’t need anyone to tell him to calm down. He couldn’t, not before he knew Buck was okay. Maddie had said she would be there the first thing in the morning, as soon as it was safe to drive again.

Finally, finally, Buck was brought to his room. He had suffered a concussion, broken ribs and some damage to his already damaged leg, but he should make a full recovery, the doctors had said. But Eddie still couldn’t settle, but he managed to stop pacing and sit down by Bucks hospital bed.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Eddie said, petting Buck’s hair gently. “Now I need you to wake up.” He whispered. 

“Please, Evan.”

Read the chapter 1 here.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Reasons Lee was the Best

Lee Everett is one of my favorite playable protagonists in any game I’ve played. Weirdly enough, I feel like he is somehow super loved yet under appreciated?? because sure, everyone says that they love Lee and talk about how he was just the best but like.... most times, they rarely go into details of why they love him and think he’s the best. 

Well, with today’s list, I wanna go into details about why I think Lee was the best. I tried to stick to more non-determinant things, but plenty slipped through, soo... it’s fine. I just wanna talk about Lee and why I like him so much.  

Also just wanna say thanks to @pi-creates​ for helping me out with these Top 5′s once again! We discussed a lot of these points and it was a huge help! :D

5. Lee is just... so funny sometimes. 

Not gonna spend too much time on this one because it’s more of a minor reason why I think he’s the best compared to the others but...

Lee is hilarious.

Like, even from the beginning, Lee knows how to make me laugh with his little “I’d fill that teacup with some bourbon if I could” line, and the fact that he is constantly falling down. The poor guy has to have at least three concussions by the end of ep1 alone. 

Also, his flirting skills...? Amazing. I’ll never get over, “You’re small.” 

He just has such a strange sense of humor about him that feels very dad-like... which makes perfect sense, but y’know. But even when he isn’t even trying, he still manages to get a laugh outta me for being such a weirdo.

Who goes up to a fence, looks at it, and is just like, “Hmmmm. Pointy.” 

Even after he’s bit, he manages to get a few painful laughs outta me when talking with Ben... though that laughter quickly dies when we reach then end of ep5 but..... y’know. 

4. His willingness to help those who have wronged him. 

Larry is a garbage man-- I think the mass majority of us would agree to that. From the moment we meet him, he’s all huffy and puffy, accusing Duck of being bitten and wanting to throw him out while taunting Kenny. 

But, no matter what, Lee is always the one to help Lilly break into the pharmacy to get Larry his medication. Because really, Lee could’ve said “Nope, not doin’ any of this, someone else help the asshole,” but he doesn’t. 

This is just a bigger example of Lee going out of his way to help people, even if they shitheads like Larry. Hell, even after Lee gets them the pills, Larry gives him a big thank you by punching him in the face and leaving him for death. Lee can hold a grudge about this, or he can let it go and do his best to get along with Larry for the better of the group. 

Another example with trying to help Larry despite him being the worst is, of course-- the meat locker. Now, this is determinant, but I feel bringing it up is important. 

Lee choosing to help Larry, even though Larry was just taunting him minutes before and Kenny’s being a real shitbird, says a lot about him as a person. 

Another example of Lee willing to help others he may not get along with would be Kenny, depending on your choices. When Kenny’s going through the hardest day of his life, Lee can take it upon himself to take care of Duck and comfort Kenny. 

Shit, what about Lilly? After she kills Carley/Doug right in front of everyone, he can still take pity on her and not leave her at the side of the road. 

I think because I have a really hard time helping those who have wronged me, I can look at this as an admirable trait that I wish came easier to me, y’know? 

3. Mourning the deaths of people he barely knew/didn’t know at all. 

This is an interesting one that Pi brought up, but there are several points within S1 where Lee will take small moments to mourn the deaths of those he either barely knew, or didn’t know at all, showing he has it in him to be really empathetic to other people's struggles and sufferings. 

Like, think about the woman at the motor-inn, the one you can give the gun to. Lee will stay behind no matter what to be with her, and you can see it on his face. He didn’t know her, didn’t get her name or anything. 

In Jolene’s camp in ep2, when Lee looks into the tent, he can find a stuffed animal and a picture of Jolene and her daughter and again, you can see it all on his face. He gives a sigh, and a moment of silence for them. 

Oh, the woman that Kenny wants to leave alone while they’re on a run to the drug store? This one is determinant, but if Lee chooses to shoot her, he does so to put her out of her misery-- he doesn’t want her to suffer anymore than she has to just so that they can grab an extra candy bar or two. 

Another big one would be the boy in the attic. Y’know, that chilling scene of the boy who starved to death/died of dehydration, became a walker, and then couldn’t even walk because he was so weak? Yeah, that one-- Lee carries that boy out to the yard and gives him a proper burial. He didn’t have to, but he did. 

Hell, he even mourns Brie when talking to Vernon in ep4, and that Anna woman that you see on the tapes after it’s revealed that she’s pregnant and has to give up her baby. 

Oh, and Chuck in the sewers? That one you can’t skip, and no matter what, Lee will stop and tell Chuck that he deserved better. 

Last example, but the dead couple in ep5-- this is one that everyone stands around in silence because it really is a chilling sight. 

This to me just shows a lot about Lee, especially in a setting where it’s easy for these characters to gloss over the deaths of those they didn’t know or to let others hurt for their benefit [y’know... Kenny with the bitten woman]. I’m sure there are even more examples, but I do have three other things to cover.

2. Taking responsibility for Clementine.

Okay, these last two are to be expected, but we’re gonna talk about them anyway. 

Listen, when Lee found Clementine alone at her house after she saved him from walker Sandra, he didn’t have to take her with him. He could’ve left her behind so that she didn’t “weigh him down” or “become a burden” since y’know, having a child in your care isn’t easy. 

But Lee didn’t do that. She saved his life, and he knows her parents are dead and not coming back. There wasn’t even a doubt in his mind-- he was taking this girl with him to ensure her safety. If he hadn’t, she could’ve ended up just like the boy in the attic, or worse. 

I also love that moment when they’re leaving the house and Clementine takes his hand. It’s sweet and shows us that they’re in this together now, and when Clementine shares her fears of leaving, he reassures her that he won’t leave her alone. 

Lee does his absolute best to care for her and give her what she needs. Hell, you can play as Scumbag Lee and most times, that doesn’t even matter-- he still expresses his care for her. 

Like... I don’t think game would work if the relationship between Lee and Clementine didn’t work, y’know? It’s strong and one of my favorite parts of S1 when I go back to it. I love seeing them grow from Lee being Clementine’s protector to Lee teaching her to survive and protect herself. 

Again, he didn’t have to do any of that. He could’ve pawned her off onto to anyone at the motor inn and called it a day, but he didn’t, and I love that about him. 

Lee goes through so much for a child that isn’t even his blood, but considers family nonetheless... which brings us to #1... 

1. Saving Clementine from the Stranger despite being bitten by a walker. 

Sigh.

Okay. I’m sure you’re tired of me saying this but... after Clementine is kidnapped by the Stranger and bitten by a walker, he could’ve given up. He didn’t have to go after Clementine-- he’s bit, he’s dying... he’s not gonna survive this, so why bother?

Because even though Lee knows he’s not going to survive the bite, he’s going to use the last of his time and energy to ensure that Clementine is safe. He’s gonna do whatever it takes to get Clementine the away from that madman who took her, make sure she remembers everything he taught her, make sure she’s armed, and make sure she knows where to go after he dies. 

Again, Lee didn’t have to go through this. He fought like hell and suffered plenty in making it to her. His last moments were agony for him, I’m sure. 

But he did it and you can tell he has no regrets because Clementine’s alive and going to make it. 

And y’know... that last damn scene in ep5 is just... a lot. 

I love it but I also hate it, and I believe I’ve mentioned this before but I’ve come to really love the ending where Clementine leaves Lee to turn. I know everyone gets upset because that means Lee will become a walker and [?] Everyone HATED that... but, I dunno... it shows something about Lee when you pick that choice. He’s more concerned about her than himself, y’know? Don’t waste the bullet, don’t risk the noise, don’t force her to physically kill him, let her walk away so she can remember her for what he was and not what he’s going to turn into... it’s reeeeal bittersweet. 

Then, of course, you can do the other choice and have Clementine shoot Lee which is just as great at making me cry, soo... thanks. 

Lee just goes through so much during this game-- he gets a second chance and everything he did, he did to ensure Clementine and his group’s survival and just... what a man. 

Lee Everett, you are the best and I love you. 

---

Honorable Mentions

-Not dropping Ben. Again, determinant, but I love a Lee who doesn’t drop children to their death because the mustache said so.  -Struggles with doors. Relatable.  -Is voiced by Dave Fennoy who gives a fantastic performance.  -Awkward flirt. Again, relatable. 

---

So what do you think? Do you agree with these reasons, or do you have any to add? Lemme know, it’s always fun to have character discussions. 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 GOOD Things About Season Two

[contextualizd]

You love me… Why the hell do you love me?

Since my favorite show (Brooklyn 99) has started shooting their 8th season recently, I decided to write another fan fiction about it. Also because I love the song Best Part Of Me by Ed Sheeran so much, and it really inspired me to write a story that relates to it. Hope you guys like it!

NOTE: Originally posted here.

Also on AO3.

Plot: The story behind “Every time we get emotional, he says ‘Noice. Smort.’” and the reason why Jake was not able to say I love you to Amy first.

Set after “The Cruise”

Title from the song Best Part Of Me by Ed Sheeran feat. YEBBA

But she loves me, she loves me

Why the hell she love me

When she could have anyone else?

Oh, you love me, you love me

Why the hell do you love me?

'Cause I don't even love myself

Jake opened the door to their suite and started kissing Amy again as soon as they were inside. They just came back from the dancing class and they couldn’t seem to let go of each other. They kissed with so much passion but also with such tenderness. Like they want to pour out the intensity of their emotions that they’ve both been holding in for so long.

“I love you, Jake,” Amy tells him when they broke the kiss to catch their breaths.

“I love you too, Ames,” Jake tells her, feeling relieved to finally be able to say it out loud.

Amy touched his face and brushed her thumb on his skin. And Jake can’t help but smile and lean into the tenderness of her touch. He still can’t believe that this amazing woman actually loves him. She’s too good and too perfect. He’s such a mess and to him, it’s surreal that someone like her could actually love him back. It just doesn’t make sense.

In hindsight, he probably already knew that he loved her even before they said it to each other. He might have loved her long before he even dared to admit it to himself.

Maybe it was too soon to tell, but he’s probably been in love with her since that day she went to his apartment to tell him that they should just “Screw light and breezy”.

He’s probably already in love with her when he decided that he’ll be willing to be demoted if it meant he could still be with her.

But what really made his feelings stronger, were the many times Amy made him feel special.

He’s always been insecure about himself even though he’ll never let it show. Growing up with a cheating father who eventually left, probably did that to him. He became cautious with his relationships. Too afraid to take things seriously. Always trying to hide his emotions behind his jokes and laid back attitude.

He always felt like he couldn’t possibly be a good match for Amy. She’s so put together while he’s just all over the place. But she never made him feel like that mattered. She cared for him like no one did before.

When the Vulture threatened to demote him if he continued to date Amy, she was willing to stay away from him even if it would hurt her. She didn’t want him to compromise his dreams just for her.

She understood him, even if they were so different. Their interests were contrasting, but he saw how Amy tried to acquaint herself in his world.

Watching Die Hard with him till the very end of the movie, even if she’s clearly not into it.

Trying to cheer him up by giving him a sticker just for waking up during that time he was suspended by the Vulture for working a case behind his back.

Buying Orangina for him because she thought it was orange soda and she wanted to buy him his favorite drink cause he clearly loves them.

Enduring his lumpy mattress for a while even when she can’t get any sleep just so she could spend the night with him in his apartment.

Checking up on him from time to time cause she felt guilty when she wasn’t able to come to him faster during that time he had a “Die Hard situation” at the mall with Gina and Charles.

Taking care of him during that time he got quarantined with Holt when they both got the mumps.

Trying to cook for him so he would stop eating cold pizza when they both know that she couldn’t cook anything even if her life depended on it.

And even in this cruise, which he has so clearly messed up right from the very beginning by working too hard on following Doug Judy’s every move instead of enjoying it with her. She wanted to have fun with him and do all the stuff in their itinerary, and any girl would have been pissed with a boyfriend who continues working while they’re on vacation. Sure, they’re cops and the criminal is right in front of them but he has to admit that he may have gone overboard with the Pontiac Bandit thing.

But Amy understood. She even helped him all throughout. Not complaining even if it wasn’t how she expected the cruise would turn out at all. And he appreciates that so much.

She did so many things for him that no one has ever done before. And with every little thing that she does, he falls in love a little bit more.

But he didn’t tell her. Cause he was afraid it might scare her off. They’ve only been together for a few months, and he’s not sure how she would feel if he suddenly confesses that he’s already in love with her.

He was afraid that she doesn’t feel the same way about him yet. They may be together but he doesn’t really think that someone like Amy Santiago would love Jake Peralta.

What if she’s just doing all this because she wants to be an amazing girlfriend. And not exactly for the reason that she loves him back. She’s quite competitive so it could be possible. Plus he thinks that there’s no way Amy would ever love him back. He’s totally flawed. And he knows Amy could easily find someone who’s so much better.

Telling her he loves her could send her running to the door. Just like everyone else in his life. Every time he gets too emotionally invested… they leave. It happened with his dad. It happened with Sophia. And he’s not sure if he can take it if it ever happens between him and Amy.

So instead of telling her how he actually feels, he did what he does best. Hide behind his stupid jokes. Every time he starts to feel his emotions towards Amy get to him, he tries to hide it with a “Noice. Smort.” Which usually ruins whatever emotional moment they have. But he figured that’s probably fine. That’s how they’ve always been. Teasing each other. Making fun of each other. It’s better off that way. Better than being too clingy too soon and assuming that she would actually fall in love with him.

But she did. She loves him. She said so herself.

At first, he thought maybe he’s dreaming.

Did she really say that? Is this real? Am I still alive?!

He was too nervous that he stupidly responded with a “Noice. Smort.” yet again. Then, he realized, screw this! He has to let her know how he feels. So when he said “I love you too”, and he saw the happiness that immediately showed on her face, he just felt so full of joy. Her beautiful smile and her eyes that shone with pure glee is the best thing he’s ever seen. And his only regret is that he never said it first cause he kept holding back.

“I still can’t believe it.”

“What?”

“That you love me.”

“Why?”

“I mean, I’m… me. And you’re… you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just… look at you. You’re amazing. You’re beautiful and smart and so organized and put together. And I’m just… a complete wreck.

I mean, I think I’m beautiful too but that’s probably where the similarity ends.

I’m just kidding about that last part. Or not... It’s up to you really. If you’d agree. I’m gonna shut up now.”

Amy just smiled fondly at him.

“Okay first of all Jake, yes I think you are beautiful. I’m pretty sure I’ve told you that before. But no, you are not a complete wreck. I think you’re amazing and hella smart too. Maybe not organized, but I don’t care. That’s my thing. You don’t need to jump on it.

I love you because you are a good person. Yes, you’re impulsive and sometimes a bit childish but I love that about you. And even if you pose as someone who only cares about himself and doesn’t want to deal with emotions, I know you’re not really like that. I know you care about the people you love and you will do anything to protect them and make them happy. I mean, just look at all your friends. No matter how annoying you try to be, they still stayed by your side.”

“I mean, they didn’t have much choice. We all work together in one place so…”

“I’m just telling you that I love you, Babe. And I really wish you’d believe me.”

“I do believe you, Ames. You’ve been so good to me. You’re absolutely amazing. I just don’t know if I deserve it. And I couldn’t believe that someone like you would actually love someone like me. It just doesn’t make sense. So you know… I kept holding back. I kept trying to control my emotions because I don’t want to scare you off if I tell you how I feel.”

“But you didn’t scare me off. And it does make sense because I love you. And I don’t want you to think otherwise because I will keep on loving you no matter what.”

She kissed him tenderly trying to show him how she truly feels. And he just let himself get lost into it. Why was he even thinking too much about this? He’s with the most beautiful, most intelligent, and most incredible woman he’s ever known. He should just cherish this and be thankful that she loves him in spite of all his flaws. So he breaks off momentarily and lifts her chin so she would look into his eyes.

“I love you too, Babe.”

And they kissed again, somehow deeper and more passionate, making him feel so many emotions he’s never felt before. But this time, he’s no longer overthinking it. Everything is finally making sense… because he’s so fucking in love with Amy Santiago.

Baby, the best part of me is you

Lately, everything's making sense too

Oh, baby, I'm so in love with you

🌹

[dragon-momther]

I finally watched Descendants 3 and here’s my thoughts no one asked for.

In no particular order.

Unexpectedly long post so uh... read if you want

Emotions! Happy, laughter, sadness, heartfelt. Nothing groundbreaking but a great story of friends and family - the whole series for that matter. Not about where you came from but who you chose to be, whom you choose to love

I still wasnt ready to see Cameron. I cried.

Hades? Best worst dad 10/10. I knew that was gonna be the reveal but I was pleasantly surprised with how nicely they did it. They could have made him cliché 2D evil but they didnt! I didn’t expect to love his character

I love the subtle cues between him and Mal - not just in personality, but the choreography in Do What You Gotta Do, and their costume design! To me it shows that, all along, Mal has been nothing like her mom. Someone else pointed out that Mal’s hair and outfit colors shift to have blue reflecting her becoming more “Hades” which just solidifies this to me

She wanted Maleficent's approval, but Hades’ attention/care (yeah you’re the god of hell but couldn’t you wish me a happy birthday like... once?)

“My attention would have made you softer.” He would have been a doting dad and (as someone else mentioned) he knew that wouldn’t fly on the Isle. She would have gotten eaten alive. He was doing what he thought was best for her.

Hades’ “suffering husband” attitude was hilarious. [Overall I just like the facets they gave his personality!]

Dramatic goth bitch. Don’t roll your eyes, Mal, cause this is clearly where you get it from.

Hades suppressed shock (and dare I say pride) seeing Mal turn into a dragon at the beginning

Oh the “Hi, dad” and little snarky hand wiggle when they reunite. Cheyenne’s portrayal of Hades was great

Hades? Married? To Maleficent? The lore connotations are really funny. Clearly they all have a second parent but Mal happens to be the offspring of the two most powerful beings. (I mean, no shame, Maleficent. You go girl. Marry a god) and also him tolerating her long enough to have a kid

Please tell me Hades is really the one who gave Mal the name Bertha

On that note Ben (and their friends!) takes the knowledge that his fiancée is a demigod extremely chill. Like can you imagine your inlaws are an unfathomably powerful fairy and the fucking Greek god of hell? 

Honeymoon on Olympus anyone?

[I said it D1 and I’ll say it again. Why is a teenager the king? Belle? You don’t need to retire sweetie. You have No Reason to hand over the crown to a boy who hasn’t graduated. Why Are These Children Getting Married]

We were robbed of Fully Powered Mal and I am, for one, offended

Also Ben’s panicked “Hi, Dad.”

Hades! Dad! Just that. That’s it. Wants to make up for the 16 years.  (I wish we saw his reaction to his wife (ex?) being a lizard)

Is there marriage on the Isle?? Officiant??? Who’s moonlighting as an evil wedding planner?! Is there a fantasy disney villain divorce attorney or is Hades just hiding from his wife because he can’t do anything else

Hades noped off underground into a lair no one can find solely to avoid Maleficent, you can’t change my mind

Hades’ staredown of Ben. Protective dad 101 but he can and will kill you and ensure your afterlife sucks if you hurt her

The entire ending was great, esp with all the Hades-Mal reconciliation.

Mal revealing her lineage not just to her friends, but to the world, is fantastic character development. She’s not just telling the whole truth at last (as we saw her struggle with through the whole series) but she’s laying her biggest secret to the world. Completely vulnerable. Her people deserve to know, and it solidifies her point of “you never know where a hero will come from.” Because the product of the two strongest villains became the greatest of all of them. 

Also this finally shows the whole “real” Mal and, as Carlos said, “if [they] don’t love the real you...”

Hey Doug I love you but for the love of the gods please cut your hair

Jarlos painfully, adorably awkward. Help what is flirt?

Harry? 12/10 boy just desperately wants to be loved, someone give him more hugs. 

The subtle gestures with Uma? Iconic. Some of my favorite acts of affection are the little private things. The hugs, the way he holds her when they reunite, the little touches on her arm/shoulder/back. I saw you go to kiss her on the head, Harry. The editors can’t stop me

I haven’t talked about Audrey but she was meh in comparison to all the rest of this stuff. Not a bad character or villain plot, just... there

OST was a hit or miss for me, I didn’t like as many of the songs in D3 as the other two. DWYGD slaps tho. I love the banter

The pirates and VKs becoming friends, Gil getting respect, excuse me while my heart explodes

The costuming continued to slay. BLEASE can I have Mal’s dragon jewelry I’m begging 

I watched it twice. 

Thank you for your time, I’ll be in my silence corner

[cynicalkairos]

Henry Hidgens Analysis

Alright, so you probably (maybe I don’t know) saw the first one, but my dumb ass deleted it. That means that you get it all again with some new things!!! YAY!!

Basically, I watched TGWDLM and something still didn’t make sense to me.

Why did Hidgens radically change his opinion about the apocalypse from opposing it to approving it?

When I rewatched TGWDLM, it baffled me. Why would a man that opposed the apocalypse to the extent of dedicating thirty years of his life preparing for it suddenly advocate for it with the promise of world peace?

Well, my theory is pretty simple.

Hidgens became infected.

Now, I can say that and end the post, but NOT TODAY! I WILL GIVE PROOF! (or what I deem as proof)

Welcome to my analytical heaven. Click to read about my theory with pictures and links!! That I had to redo :(

How did Henry Hidgens get infected?

My answer to that: when he touched the “blue shit.” (also referred to as BS) (x)

Besides Emma in the beginning when she pulled the BS out of the coffee (x), Hidgens was the only one to physically touch the BS. (x)

Even then, while Emma held the goop for mere seconds, Hidgens held the BS in his hand for almost exactly two minutes. This longer physical exposure to the BS allowed the apotheosis to start to take root in Hidgens’s mind.

Also, note how each of them held the BS.

Emma barely picked it up, holding the BS with a few fingers.

On the other hand, Hidgens had the BS molded into a ball that he held in his fist for the remainder of the scene shown here.

When the scene continued past the point of unveiling the mysterious goop, even though it was probably due to making sure that it left the stage, Hidgens still held the BS in his hand with maximum contact with his hand.

If the BS had the same consistency of maybe aloe vera or a different gel, then it absorbs into the skin faster than water through skin absorption. This ensured that the goop could get into the skin, into the bloodstream, and, eventually, the brain.

BOOM! BIOLOGY!

After that initial point of contact, the Hive slowly took over Hidgens’s mind. 

The next time we saw Hidgens was when he killed Charlotte and Sam with a shotgun.

Of course, you’re probably thinking, “But, Kairos, he couldn’t have been infected! He killed them!”

Well, partially, correct. Hidgens did kill Sam and Charlotte, but something else happened before that also unnerved me.

Charlotte sang specifically at Hidgens when faced with her imminent death.

Before when faced with the possibility of getting killed, the Hive ran away, such as Charlotte pointing a gun at Doug and Copper at the end of “Show Me Your Hands.” (x)

If the note wasn’t a scream out of fear, then what could it be?

Because of the Hive’s collective knowledge of one another, Charlotte sensed the apotheosis happening inside of Hidgens, causing such a reaction from her.

Then Hidgens, oblivious to his own succumbing to the Hive, shot her anyway.

The scene continued with Hidgens forcing the remaining survivors to sing to prove they’re not one of them. You know... typical Hidgens shenanigans. (x)

However, Hidgens wasn’t stupid.

I propose that he suspected that a member of the Hive was in the room when Charlotte pointed at him. But, because of Emma, Paul, Ted, and Bill standing behind him, it led him to believe that it was one of them, not himself.

That’s why he forced them to sing, in case one of them sang perfectly.

When he found that none of them were, it eased him. 

And Hidgens didn’t bother to check himself because he would know if he were infected, right?

Anyway, this leads to my next point in my theory. 

Hidgens had a human side (HS) and an infected side (IS).

In “Let It Out,” Paul alternated between two versions of himself as the Hive took over his mind. (x)

So, who’s to say that it couldn’t happen to Hidgens too?

Hidgens himself said that the victims were “genetically reconstructed from the inside out.”

While the apotheosis was taking place in his mind, the HS still had control over his body with a few moments that the IS shone through. But, toward “Show Stopping Number,” those moments of humanity were few and far between as the Hive took over.

Now’s the time to analyze those moments.

One of the first moments that really stood out to me was the persistence that Emma stay behind to help him.

This was a man that had isolated himself for at least three decades. He was very capable of handling experiments by himself.

So, why would he need a lab assistant?

That’s right. He didn’t. 

I believe that his lines at this point in the scene were completely influenced by his IS. 

Again, you might say, “Kairos, Hidgens was just trying to protect Emma!!!”

Hidgens knew that Emma would help anyone whether or not they asked for it.

She proposed a place to stay to help the people that she had only just met. (x)

Emma also escaped Ted’s hold and shot General McNamara to save Paul (even though they were closer than the rest, she had really only known him for a day or two.) (x)

By asking her to stay behind, it gave Hidgens the chance to be alone with Emma and Ted.

At that point, Ted was no longer a threat. Sure, he could talk a big game, but he was too drunk to actually fight back.

Emma, on the other hand, could fight back. Hidgens’s IS needed Emma on his side to be able to convince others to join the Hive. Paul would listen to Emma and then Bill would listen to Paul. Emma was the key to getting the rest of the lot to become infected. This also happened in “Inevitable” at the end of the musical.

To make sure that Hidgens and Emma were alone, not only did Hidgens ask her for help, but he also approved Paul and Bill’s ideas to go save Bill’s daughter, despite the situation possibly leading to death. He assured them that the backroads were safer (x) and gave them his shotgun for protection. (x)

Although this moment with the influence of his IS controlling Hidgens, we still saw the HS of him when Paul and Emma talked before Paul left.

I don’t know whether or not it was intentional, but the look on Hidgens’s face was heartbreaking. This moment shown above was one of the last times that we see entirely human Hidgens.

Now, we know that he somewhat cared about Emma because he let her into his house in the first place. (x)

And once again using the knowledge that his backstory contained him being an infectious disease researcher, Hidgens had lost people he cared about in the past.

In that final interaction between Paul and Emma, Hidgens knew the possibility that Paul wouldn’t come back alive. Based on experience, if Paul didn’t come back, it would hurt Emma a lot and, in turn, hurt him.

Now, on that note, let’s jump to the scene with Hidgens and Emma. (x)

In this scene, there was no sign of Hidgens’s HS but rather his IS.

This shift was particularly shown through his behavior and his new opinion of the alien invasion.

First, the body language.

Throughout the beginning of this scene, Hidgens’s eyes were focused on the beaker with the BS inside of it. Even though he was talking to Emma, he never looked at or even acknowledged her at first.

Look at these two photos.

The first picture was from the first scene in Hidgens’s house and the second picture was from the scene I was talking about.

In the first picture, Hidgens was looking at Emma and, in the second picture, Hidgens was looking at the beaker.

Although he looked at Emma for a split second in the second scene, he immediately looked back at the beaker. 

(Also, I would like to mention the slight blue tint in the lighting of the second picture. You’ll see why this is important later.)

Anyway, the first time that Hidgens looked at Emma was when she proposed that there was some sort of “mothership.” (x)

When she said “mothership,” Hidgens’s head instantly turned toward her, looking at her with an almost surprised expression.

I mean, I’m not the only one that found that last facial expression creepy.

Seriously.

If someone looked at me like that, I’d be frightened.

In the first two pictures, Hidgens seemed surprised that she started to figure it out.

Then, in the third, it changed to “Oh, shit. She’s starting to figure it out.”

And, finally, it went to “I must stop her from figuring everything out.”

After this moment, Hidgens looked intently at her and even initiated physical contact that he never dared to before.

He placed his hand on her shoulder (x) (x) (x) and did the iconic nose boop. (x)

Even then, this interaction between the two of them must have been out of the ordinary because Emma reacted in such a way. (x)

Not to mention another creepy expression. Jesus Christ, Robert.

Then all of Hidgens’s IS’s hopes and dreams were crushed when Emma did not agree with the idea that the alien invasion would bring world peace.

She responded with “Okay, but how do we stop it?”

At this point, Hidgens’s IS’s plan fell apart. 

You see, I believe Hidgens’s IS did what the Hive did initially: coerce people to join the Hive through the means of discovering what they wanted and using that as a ploy to entice them to join peacefully. (x) (x)

But when people started to resist, they had to turn to other measures of infecting people or, in another term, violence. (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

This same sequence of events happened here.

Hidgens tried to convince Emma that it was a good thing that the human race should be eradicated to have world peace.

When Emma resisted, Hidgens drugged her and kidnapped her.

That brings us to everyone’s favorite: SHOW STOPPING NUMBER!

Oh, boy. There’s a lot to unpack here.

I’d like to establish that this scene had both elements of Hidgens’s IS and HS with some of those times overlapping.

At the beginning of the scene, it’s clearly the IS talking.

The HS would never unlock the entire facility and make everyone inside of it vulnerable to the Hive, but the IS would.

And at this time, Emma realized it.

Emma saw what was going on with Hidgens. 

Even though it was fuelled by the IS, I don’t think that it was entirely the IS because he said:

“The world was already doomed not by them, but by us. I was trying to save something that could not be saved until now.” (x)

It implied that Hidgens himself thought about the apocalypse that way, not the Hive.

And of course, there was that entire goodbye to Alexa, which was definitely, in my opinion, the HS, not the IS.

Then, when Hidgens destroyed Alexa, the IS was back. (x)

The same behavior that was displayed in the scene that I talked about prior was back. He moved around erratically, he had an odd fondness toward the Hive, and initiated physical contact with Emma and Ted, all things he didn’t do before.

Then he shifted back into his HS when he mentioned having a “second chance.” (x)

After talking about musical theatre, he reverted back to his IS when he started talking about Charlotte’s anatomy after being infected, leading to the line, “This is humanity’s eleventh hour and I’ve prepared something for the occasion.” 

Hidgens then proceeded to sing as his IS, but when he mentioned Working Boys: A New Musical and gave Emma and Ted the pitch, his HS wasn’t entirely present and wasn’t entirely absent as well.

During some of the parts of “Show Stopping Number,” there were moments when both were present, not fighting for control like with Paul, but coexisting because they both had the desire to sing and dance, especially when the HS was given the chance to show off something it was proud of.

You know before when I talked about the blue tint? Well, it’s coming back now. 

The presence of both the IS and the HS was shown in the lighting during the song.

In this picture, there were the colors red, blue, and purple. In TGWDLM, blue is associated with the Hive. Even though red isn’t assigned to the human race any other places in the musical, I believe that, because of the presence of purple in this part of the scene, the red does symbolize humanity. 

The lighting reflected Hidgens’s dual identities that appear during this song: the IS (blue), the HS (red), and the strange mix of both (purple).

For example, during the first stanza, Hidgens had a blue light shining behind him, showing that it was his IS singing.

However, when the song moved into its second stanza, Hidgens left the piano and a more colorful background appeared.

Now, if you looked carefully, most of these colors had appeared in the background of songs either prior or after this one.

- Green: “Not Your Seed”

- Purple: “La Dee Dah Dah Day”

- Red (not shown): “Show Me Your Hands”

- Pink: “You Tied Up My Heart”

- Burnt Orange: Beginning of “Inevitable”

- Light Blue: Later in “Show Stopping Number”

- Light Orange: the background for most of the parts of scenes with no members of the Hive in them

The combination of these colors with the addition of the light orange showed that the HS was present, even in the mass of songs that the Hive previously or will perform.

However, one of the interesting parts of that particular color scheme was the light blue lighting.

This is the part that he introduced Working Boys.

This is during the “Greg... and Steve...” part.

This is during the final verse before “Greg” and “Stu” joined in.

The concept of the blue lighting in my theory was similar to that of the purple. It symbolized the coexistence of both the IS and the HS. Instead of the majority being the IS like in the purple, the majority was in favor of the HS. 

In the first picture, Hidgens was explaining the plot to his musical, which was something that the Hive didn’t know about. Then, when the lighting changed back to the rainbow, the IS used it to continue the singing, perfecting it.

The same thing happened with the second one. Hidgens returned to his HS to talk about the people that he lost and then went right back to singing and dancing (which I will get back to).

The third picture was Hidgens’s HS finally getting into it, relishing at the moment that he achieved his dreams of performing his musical and performing in front of people in general.

Now, before I go any further, the times that “Five o’clock can’t come soon enough” was sung, something different happened.

The lights flashed from 

red

to blue

then green.

Similar to the previous rainbow lighting, these different colors were reminiscent of prior events, but only the ones that the Hive visibly harmed one of the main characters.

- Red: “You Tied Up My Heart” and Charlotte (x)

- Blue: “America Is Great Again” and Ted (x)

- Green: “Not Your Seed” and Bill (x)

Even though Ted was still very much so alive during this part, it foreshadowed his death and the death of Hidgens.

To finish the analysis of “Show Stopping Number,” the rainbow background came back when “Greg” and “Stu” appeared, signaling that the IS overtook him again, because, otherwise, how could the other members of the Hive known the harmonies and choreography to the song?

The last part to analyze is Hidgens’s death. (x)

This moment is truly Hidgens’s last moments alive and, more importantly, as a human.

When luring the Hive to his home, Hidgens’s HS didn’t think about the implications of following through with the plan. He thought that he was just going to join the Hive.

But, to completely become one with the Hive, the HS needed to be killed and destroyed.

When “Greg” and “Stu” killed him, Hidgens’s HS died and the IS took over.

This same thing happened with Paul when the grenade killed his HS and left the IS to resurrect himself, going after Emma to make sure she became one of them too.

In conclusion, Hidgens was infected and only got more and more infected as the musical went on.

———

Thanks for reading this! I hope you enjoyed this! I just find this kind of shit interesting. I don’t know if any of this is true, but this was my justification for something that didn’t make sense to me. That’s why it might not make sense. It kind of just a more refined brain dump of the last version of this.