#one of my best friend (who's known me for over 10 years) messaged me

[icharchivist]

oh thanks god, i looked for a guide to see how i could get my favorite Cloud's dress, but i also didn't want it to compromise my own gameplay so there's stuff i didn't follow to the letter.... but now i'm getting the sidequests that are associated to that dress and i'm so damn relieved.

I'll have all my favorite dresses for the girls' auditions at least

[betterthanburrow]

New Year’s Eve Reunion - Joe Burrow

Summary: As the end of the year is approaching, an email from an old friend from Athens High School has you considering to go back to the city that you haven’t had a reason to visit in over 8 years… but going back to the place you used to call home means being reunited with the boy who had been searching for the answer as to why you mysteriously left the city after your high school graduation without saying goodbye.

Genre: Fluff and Angst

There was no feeling that could compare to how you feel walking around the city you used to call home… The city that welcomed you with open arms when you were the new girl from out of state. The city where some of the best people and worse people that you’ve ever known lived that shaped you into the person that you are today. The city that changed you in more ways than you’ll ever realize.

It’s been almost 10 years since you’ve been in Athens, Ohio. It was a beautiful city that you had lived in after your mom married your step-mom right during the summer before High School… but there was never any reason for you to return back to the city of Athens after your mom had divorced your step-mom right after you moved out of the house to go to Stanford University.

After moving out of Athens, Ohio you had never thought there would be any reason for you to return… There was no family for you to come back to visit, or amazing job opportunity that you couldn’t pass up, and you had assumed that you didn’t have any best friends from high school that you would ever visit.

Which is why at the beginning of December, as you were working from home in your New York City Apartment… While checking your work emails on your computer, an old email account that you hadn’t seen in years showed up at the top of the screen with an interesting Subject Title.

To: yourfirstname.yourlastname@gmail.com

From: DakotaJohnson740@gmail.com

Subject: New Year’s Eve Reunion!

Hi Y/N! It’s Dakota Johnson from Athens High School.

I hope that you remember me, we had multiple classes through High School and became close friends from freshman year until the end of senior year. Unfortunately we never stayed in touch after our graduation but every once in a while for the past few years, you cross my mind and I always what you have been up too. The only thing that I know about you is that you left Athens to go to Stanford University and never came back home.

Hopefully you don’t find it to strange that I emailed you but I wouldn’t have any other way to send a message to you because I don’t have social media… and I found your email account from searching through thousands of old emails just to find your email address.

The reason why I’m messaging you is because I am planning a New Year’s Eve Reunion with a bunch of our old friends from Athens High School and I was wondering if there’s is any chance that you could come to the get-together?! … Over the past few years, many of our old friends and I have made plans with each other to spend time in Athens just like in High School but, there was always someone missing during those get-together plans and that person is you.

Please respond back to my email as soon as possible if you’re interested in coming to Athens for the New Year’s eve Reunion… So many of our old friends would love to see you again Autumn Reynolds, Eleanor Coleman, Charles Wood, and Joe Burrow because they miss you just as much as I miss you.

Sincerely,

Dakota Johnson.

You read the email that Dakota Johnson has sent to you multiple times, to make sure that it was a real email and not something that you were imagining in your head… It had been years since you’ve heard anything from any one of your old friends from Athens. You had assumed that they all forgot about the new girl in freshman year after you moved away from the city.

It made you emotional to think about how your old friends missed you… and for the first time ever, you hated yourself for never keeping contact with any of your old friends back in Athens.

You didn’t know much about what Dakota Johnson, Autumn Reynolds, Eleanor Coleman, Charles Wood were doing with their lives after graduating High School… but you did know what Joe Burrow has been doing the past couple of years, not because you’re a creepy stalker that keeps up with the boy you had a crush on from freshman year to senior year, but because his name is known across America.

The shy boy from your science class in freshman year has become one of the greatest Quarterbacks in the NFL right now… you have never been a fan of football; but the Cincinnati Bengals are the football team you’ll always root for to win, even if they’re against a NFL Team from New York.

You told yourself that after you finished your work for the day, that you would respond to the email from Dakota Johnson… but maybe that was a bad idea because for the rest of your work day, your mind was distracted by the email to the point where every couple of minutes you had to go back and check that the email was real.

Even after your work day was officially over, you still were sat at your desk staring at your computer screen that had a blank email page opened… not because you didn’t want to go back to Athens, but because you didn’t know what to say to your old friend.

What do you say to someone that you haven’t spoke to since High School Graduation?! You had assumed that all your old friends had forgotten about you, it was kinda hard for you to believe that they still think about you and miss you after being apart all of these years.

To: DakotaJohnson740@gmail.com

From: yourfirstname.yourlastname@gmail.com

Subject: New Year’s Eve Reunion

Hi Dakota Johnson!

Of course I remember you! how could I ever forget about the first friend that I made in the homeroom class during our freshman year of high school and stayed by my side all throughout high school!

I apologize for not staying in touch with you and our other friends after our high school graduation and I’m sorry for never visiting Athens, for the longest time I had just assumed that everyone that did know me at some point had just forgotten about my existence…

With that being said; I would love to come to the New Year’s Eve Reunion in Athens! I live in New York City now but, I’ve experienced the way that New Yorkers ring in the New Year so it’ll be nice to celebrate the New Year with old friends.

my phone number is (929) 101-0009 so you can message me all of the details about the New Year’s Eve Reunion!

i’m looking forwards to seeing you and all of our old friends in Athens for the first time in almost 10 years! There aren’t enough words for me to describe how excited i am for the NYE Reunion!

Sincerely,

YourFirstName YourLastName

For many weeks since you sent the email back to Dakota Johnson, the two of you had been messaging back and forth catching up on each other lives’ on what has been going on the past 8 years.

Other than Joe Burrow’s life, which was changing in front of everyone’s eyes, you didn’t realize how much your other old friends’ lives had changed since you left Athens… Autumn and Charles had gotten together during their freshman year of University and are planning on getting married next Summer, Eleanor had moved out of Ohio after college to California to work as a background dancer for music artists, and Dakota recently earned their Master of Science in Nursing and works at one of the best hospitals in Ohio.

You had told Dakota that after you graduated from Stanford University with your Master’s Degree in Creative Writing and Literature that you moved to New Yorks and are currently working on your first book that will be published next year in the Fall.

December felt like the slowest month of your life, you loved living in New York but you’ve never been so excited to get out of the state and go back to Ohio… You weren’t counting down to Christmas, you were counting down to your flight to Ohio.

As the days of December slowly went by, Christmas was here and you celebrated the Holiday in your apartment by yourself with a glass of red wine and watching all of your favorite classic Christmas movie.

But finally; it was the day before the New Year, it was the day before the New Year’s Eve Reunion, it was the day that you’ll be in Athens for the first time in 8 years… Dakota had offered to pick you up from the airport in Cincinnati so that you wouldn’t be lost in Ohio, which was such a thoughtful gesture from them.

You didn’t realize how emotional you would be returning to the state that you once called home until you heard your name being called by a voice you recognized after all of these years.

“Y/N! I’M OVER HERE!” the voice yelled over the loud noises throughout the airport. You turn your head looking around after you had grabbed your luggage and saw someone waving their hands in the air.

You’re searching for them through the crowd and when you see your old friend for the first time in almost 10 years… The tears from your eyes start to fall, and you don’t waste anymore time to run towards them and pull them into the tightest hug. You could just about imagine how emotional your reunion with your other old friends from Athens will be tomorrow after not seeing them since high school graduation.

“It’s so good to see you again after all of these years.” Dakota whispers. “I missed you so much.”

“I miss you too…” you say with your voice cracking.

“You’re never allowed to spend eight years away from Athens ever again!” Dakota says, causing you to laugh.

“I won’t spend 8 years away from Ohio ever again.” you promised.

After the reunion at the airport, the two of you walked to the front parking lot entrance where Dakota had parked their car and helped you put your luggage suitcases in their car... and it was finally time to start the drive from the airport in Cincinnati to Athens.

Dakota lives in an apartment in Cincinnati where the reunion will be hosted… but the two of you had planned to spend the day in Athens since it’s been 8 years since you’ve visited the beautiful city.

You were scared that things would’ve been awkward between the two of you, it had been so long since you’ve seen them in person… but the two of you conversed with each other as if you hadn’t been apart from each other for the past 8 years.

From talking about old high school gossip to singing along to the old cds’ in Dakota’s car that he had since high school… This is the happiest that you’ve felt all year after being feeling stuck in New York City.

It almost made you feel guilty that you left Athens, but you knew that you wouldn’t have been able to achieve your dreams if you just stayed in the small city in Ohio.

But, you should’ve kept in contact with your old friends… that was a mistake you made that you can’t go back in time to undo, maybe keeping in contact with your old friends would’ve give you a reason to come back to Athens or move back to the place you used to call home.

You were thankful that Dakota let you stay with them in his apartment, where the New Year’s eve Reunion would be hosted along with the rooftop of the apartment complex… but you had to promise them that you would help them decorate the apartment.

After arriving in Athens, Dakota took you all around the city to some of your old favorite places that you couldn’t believe that you had forgotten about… You never would’ve thought that after all those years away, that you would feel like you were home again.

The two of you were sat inside D.P Dough’s restaurant, it was busier than you expected it to be since it was the day before New Year’s Eve and you assumed that most people in Athens would’ve been out of town… You were so hungry after the long morning with the flight, that you didn’t wait a second longer to eat after ordering your food.

“So… Can I ask you question?” you say, after taking a sip of your drink and crossing your arms on the table.

“You just asked me a question.” Dakota sarcastically replied.

You rolled your eyes and chuckled before speaking again, “Who knows that I’m in Athens for the New Year’s Eve Reunion?!”

“Everyone that is invited knows.” Dakota answers, “I know we really only talked about our old mutuals friends these past few weeks… but other people from Athens High School are coming to the reunion too.”

“Oh really?!” you asked, you had just assumed this was a small get-together and not a small party.

“Yeah! Daniel says. “There’s like 30 of our old classmates coming to the New Year’s Eve Reunion!”

You respond, “It’s going to be so weird seeing everyone again after so long.”

“You’re not alone feeling that way.” Dakota states, which causing you to raise an eyebrow at them. “Other than Autumn and Charles who still live in Athens, I hadn’t seen much of anyone from Athens these past few years… The only time I see our old friends is when they come home to visit, so that’s why I wanted to plan this reunion because I know it’s been a long time since most people had seen each other.”

You nodded along to what they said, but didn’t have the courage to respond immediately… because while your old friends had came back to Athens after moving away from the city, you left and never came back.

“Thank you for going out of your way to reach out to me.” you say. “Honestly, I didn’t think anyone from Athens remembered me… so it really did surprise me to see that email from you inviting me to the reunion.”

“Trust me, no one in Athens has forgotten about you.” Dakota assured, “It was actually Joe that had asked me to try and reach out to you whenever I started planning the New Year’s Eve Reunion.”

To say you were surprised would be an understatement... Out of all the people from Athens you didn’t expect Joe Burrow to remember you and be the reason why Dakota had tried to reach out to you.

“Joe asked you to reach out to me?” you asked.

“Yeah… it’s that hard to believe?” They asked and you shrugged your shoulders. “Why is it hard to believe?”

“Because you know who Joe is now right?!” you exclaim. “He’s a quarterback in the NFL, I didn’t think that he would have time to remember some random girl that he used to know from Athens.”

“The Joe you remember from High School is the same Joe now… even with all his success and fame, he’s still the same Joe.” Dakota states. “And he’s had a lot of time to think since he’s not playing football right now.”

“He’s not playing football right now… Why?!” you curiously asked. You didn’t keep up with any sports news so you were surprised to hear this news.

“Joe injured his wrist over a month ago during a game, he’s out for the rest of the season.” Dakota responds. “So he’s had a lot of time to think about other things than football these past few weeks… and I guess you crossed his mind more than once.”

“That’s interesting to know.” you say under your breathe. “Out of all the people from Athens, I didn’t expect him to be the one to want to reach out to me.”

“He’s talked about you a lot throughout these past few months, even before I had emailed you.” Dakota says. “I don’t know why he’s been thinking so much about the people from Athens, but he was the one to give me the idea of hosting this New Year’s Eve Reunion.”

You chuckle, “Maybe it’s because of the new contract he signed with The Bengals… I heard about how he’s going to earn a lot of money over the next few years.”

“Yeah, he will be earning a lot of money but he deserves it after everything he’s been through over the past few years.” Dakota responds, “But even after all that he’s been through, he’s still the same Joe.”

“That’s good to hear… he didn’t let fame go straight to his head unlike some other football players.” you say.

“Same old Joe, just richer with a worse sense of style.” Dakota says which causes the two of you to laugh.

The two of you spend the rest of your time at D.P Dough eating the rest of the delicious food that you order as well as continuing to gossip about old friends… You thought you would’ve been more nervous to see people that you haven’t seen in 8 years again, but you couldn’t be more excited because of how much everyone’s lives have changed.

There was so much that you and Dakota would have to do to prepare for the reunion at his apartment tomorrow, including going last minute shopping for New Year’s Eve decorations and order enough catering to last throughout the entire night.

But just for right now, you were happier than you expected to be in Athens for the first time in 8 years… For the first time in years, you wouldn’t be spending New Year’s Eve by yourself in your apartment in New York, instead you will be home with your old friends.

—

Tonight will be a night that you’ll remember forever… As the clock is ticking closer to midnight and the countdown to the New Year begins, you couldn’t imagine celebrating the end of 2023 in any other way.

The apartment was decorated in Black, Silver, and Gold decorations from Party City that the two of you had picked up yesterday afternoon… You and Dakota had spent all morning decorating their apartment and getting everything prepared for when all of your old friends would arrive at the reunion.

As you finished setting up all the dishes of food that the two of you ordered from one of the most popular restaurants in Cincinnati, BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse, the kitchen counter and kitchen table… you watched as Dakota went through their check-list for the twentieth time in the past 30 minutes.

Dakota walked around the apartment, checking items off their list as they mumbled under their breathe. “We have the balloons set up over there and the banner set up as well as the the bucket of decorations for the photo booth…”

“Dakota, I think everything is ready!” you exclaim, interrupting them. “Everything is perfect, just the way that you planned!”

“Are you sure?” Dakota asked, “Or is it all just a bit too much to celebrate the New Year?!”

“No Dakota, it’s perfect!” you exclaim. “This will definitely be the best New Year’s Eve Reunion ever!”

They wanted this New Year’s Eve Reunion to be perfect. It was the first time in so long that many of their close friendds from Athens High School would be getting together since High School Graduation.

After convincing Dakota that everything for the New Year’s Eve Reunion was perfect, they explained to you that they told everyone to arrive at his apartment around 4pm… Which had you a little confused on why people would be arriving at the apartment so early?!

“It’s because of the football game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Cincinnati Bengals. This is one of the most important games of the year because of the rivalry between the two teams for the past two years, everyone will be watching this game.” Dakota explains.

“Oh okay… but you said Joe was injured, so he’s not going to the football game?!” you asked.

“The football game is in Kansas City, and he’s been traveling with the football team to games even though he’s not playing on the field.” Dakota says.

“Joe is still going to be at the New Year’s Eve Reunion or will he not be able to make it because he’ll be stuck in Kansas City?!” you ask.

“If luck is on our side… Joe will be here before midnight.” Dakota answers. “I talked to him this morning and he’s going to do anything he can to make it here after the game.”

“That’s good to know, I’m excited to see him.” you say.

A cheeky smile appears on Dakota’s face, “Oh I know… and I promise that he’s excited to see you too!”

The time was going by fast and before you realized how fast the time was going by… The guests had finally started to arrive at Dakota’s apartment right before the football game between Kansas City vs Cincinnati.

This was Dakota’s New Year’s Eve Reunion that they had been planning for weeks, and you tried your hardest to remember that as guests walked through the door… You didn’t want to make this all just about you reuniting with your old friends that you hadn’t seen since High School Graduation, because most of these people were just seeing each for the first time in a long time as well. It was a reunion for everyone.

It was an emotional reunion seeing your old friends from Athens just like you had expected it to be. You didn’t realize how much you missed your old friends until now, and it made you feel guilty again for leaving Athens and not caring to continue communications.

Everyone had changed, everyone was all grown up. You don’t understand how you never realized that there had been so much change between those 8 years that you were gone from Athens… but while things changed, the love your old friends have for you never changed.

Even your old classmates that you weren’t really close to during High School but were still apart of the mutual friend group were excited to see you… Just like when you had moved to Athens when you were 14 years old, everyone had welcomed you with opens arms.

You learned so much about your old friends’ new lives since High School Graduation, it’s crazy to think that the old friends you used to sit next to at lunch and partner up with for projects are living their dreams.

The celebrations of the night began once the football game started, Dakota popped a bottle of champagne and filled everyone’s glasses to the top right at kick-off.

Some people were watching the game in the living room, while other people were in the kitchen but still paying attention every now and then. You assume that most people are huge fans of the Cincinnati Bengals or were just cheering for the team because of Joe… even though he was playing because every now and then the camera would pan over to Joe and show his reaction to whatever was happening in the game.

This was the first time you had seen Joe in a long time, there was so much about him that was different but at the same time he still looked like the young boy that you had a crush on during High School.

“Are you excited to see Joe later?” Eleanor asked as she sits right next to you on the sofa with a paper plate of food in her lap. “I haven’t seen Joe in over a year, I think the last time I saw him was when the Bengals played in the Super Bowl at Sofa Stadium… He invited me to the football game since I live in California.”

“I’m excited to see him.” you answer, “I haven’t seen him since our High School Graduation.”

“It’s been that long since you’ve seen Joe?!” Autumn asked, interrupting the conversation.

You nod your head, “Yeah… it’s been 8 long years.”

“I’m kinda surprised Joe never went to try and find you just because of how much he talks about you when we hang out.” Autumn stated, which causes you to raise an eyebrow at her. “I don’t know if Dakota told you, but Joe is the reason why they reached out to you.”

“Dakota told me, but I didn’t think it was a big deal.” you say. “Joe talks about me that much to where you thought he was going to try and find me in New York?”

“He talks about you in a ‘the girl that got away’ way” Charles answers. “Did something happen between the two of you in high school that we don’t know about.”

You shake your head, “No… Nothing happened between us. We were always just friends from freshman year to senior year.”

“And then you left Athens after graduation.” Eleanor says and you nod your head, because you couldn’t lie.

The conversation stopped as everyone went back to paying attention to the football game on TV, cheering when the Bengals team did something good and yelling at the team through the TV when they were not doing a good job as people expected from them.

For the past few weeks, you always had been the most excited to see Joe out of everyone that you knew would be coming to the reunion just because Joe and you were always close since freshman year of High School… and you feel the most guilty about never continuing to communicate with him after graduation not because of the fame and success he has now but because he was the definition of a true friend.

You’re not stupid, you realize that Joe must’ve said some things to your old friends over the past few years since you’ve been gone that has sparked curiosity into their minds that something had happened between the two of you during high school… but as far as you remember, nothing had ever happened.

But maybe that’s the reason why Joe talked about in the “girl that got away” way to your old friends, maybe because nothing had happened between the two of you is the reason why you’re still on his mind after all of these years… No matter how many girls he had been rumored to be hooking up with or dating and the many instagram models that slide into his Instagram Direct Messages with a terribly sexual pick-up line, the girl that he knew from Athens is the only girl on his mind.

It was hard for you to sit and watch the football game with all of these thoughts running through your mind. Once the game went to halftime, you got up from your spot next to Eleanor on the couch and used the excuse of “needing a drink refill” to go over to the kitchen.

You walked into the kitchen to see Dakota and a few other of your old classmates from Athens talking amongst each other while snacking on the appetizers.

“You got tired of watching the game already?!” Dakota asks as they walk over to you away from the group after noticing you in the kitchen.

You shake your head, “I needed a drink refill… I never imagine myself getting so stressed out over football.”

“Are you stressed about the football game… or are you stressed about seeing Joe later tonight?” Dakota whispers over your shoulder.

Your eyes go wide and turn around to face them, “What?! I’m not stressed about seeing Joe… Why would I get stressed about that?!”

“I would be stressed out to if I was seeing my high school crush for the first time in 8 years… especially if they’re as attractive as Joe.” Dakota states.

You roll your eyes as you take a sip of champagne, “A high school crush is just that… a high school crush.”

“You could say that if Joe grew up to be ugly and I was laughing at you for having a crush on a guy that turned out that way… but, you thought Joe was cute back then and I can tell just from the way your eyes light up when he shows up on TV that you find him hot now. You can’t lie to me, I know the only reason you’re paying attention to go the game is to watch for when Joe shows up on the TV.” Dakota defensively says.

A blush appears on your face as you take another sip of champagne, not knowing how to respond to Dakota… you’re not saying that they’re right, but they’re not wrong about observations because Joe was the only reason you were paying attention to the game.

After pouring another refill of champagne and conversing with some of your old classmates from high school for the rest of halftime… You walked back into the living room to sit back on the couch just as the 3rd quarter of the football game was about to start.

At first it was just a few people sitting around in the living room watching the game, but after a while everyone was sitting around in the living room paying close attention to what was happening on the TV.

Honestly, you didn’t know what was going on a majority of the time during the game but you acted like you knew what was happening when everyone around you would clap or shout at the TV.

If you thought the first half of the game was going by slow, then you weren’t prepared for how slow the second half of the game was going… Once the sun had set you could hear fireworks in the distance from people already starting to celebrate the New Year even though it was still a few hours from midnight.

You had learned through all of your old friends talking throughout the game that this was a very important game for The Bengals, not just because it was against one of their rival teams… but because if The Bengals lose the game, they’re out of the runnings for the playoffs and their last game of the season is next week.

Also, you learned how hard of a season it had been for The Bengals even before the season started. Joe had suffered a calf injury during the second day of training camp that affected The Bengals during their first 6 games, losing some of their best players from last season during the off-season, signing players that didn’t add anything special to the team, and other players had suffered injuries throughout the season… overall their had been this glooming cloud over their heads that just got darker after Joe suffered his wrist injury even with the small light that the back-up quarterback brought back for the team.

As the football game was coming to an end, the chances of The Bengals winning against The Chiefs was going down… you may have not understood everything that was happening, but from your friends’ reactions you could tell that something wasn’t going right whether it was the players not playing as well as expected or if it was referees doing their dirty work.

The final score of the game appeared on the screen as a signal that it was over. Not just that the game was over but that the season was over for The Bengals after next week’s game… Your heart broke for your friends who were sad about the end results of the seasons, but also you felt sad for Joe and his team that looked heartbroken at the end of the game.

“I hope Joe is still going to want to attend the reunion even after the end of the terrible game.” Eleanor says.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he goes home to his new house after they arrive home.” one of your old classmates, Cindy says. “We know what he can be like after The Bengals lose a game.”

“It’s a 2 hour flight from Kansas City to Cincinnati… so he’ll have plenty of time to think about whether or not he wants to hang out with his old friends from Athens.” Daniel, another one of your old classmates, states.

“I hope he doesn’t bail on us like last time a bunch of us tried to get together.” Charles says.

“Joe’s not going to bail on us… Y/N is here with us!” Dakota exclaims. “They’re the reason why this reunion is happening in the first place!”

As the pre-show for the Sunday Night Football game started… everyone split off into their own groups whether they were making their dinner plates to go out on the balcony watch the fireworks, starting to get the photo-booth set up for pictures to post on social media at Midnight, or staying in their spot on the couch with a new beer drink in their hand to watch the pre-show.

You had gotten up from your spot on the couch and walked around the apartment, trying to find your place amongst the people you used to know… You didn’t contribute much to their conversations, just listening to your old friends talk about their new lives whether they still live in Ohio or if they moved out of the state. But the difference is that they continued to keep in contact with people from Athens while you didn’t keep in contact at all.

In an apartment full of people that you used to know, you felt lonelier than you have ever felt before with the glass of champagne in your hand… and you are starting to wonder if the person you were most excited to see tonight was even going to show up at all.

—

The New Year’s Eve Reunion moved from Dakota’s apartment to the rooftop of his apartment complex. Everyone has a glass of champagne in their hands as they watched the fireworks from all around the city being exposed into the sky.

Everyone in the city of Cincinnati were counting down the minutes until Midnight, but you were wishing that time would slow down… not because you didn’t want to go into a new year, but because the one person that you wanted to celebrate the New Year with wasn’t here.

“Are you excited for 2024?” Dakota asked as the walked up to you. “I remember you mentioning yesterday you’ll be publishing your first book this year.”

“I am excited for the new year!” you answer, then taking a sip of your champagne. “Yeah, I hope that 2024 is going to be a memorable year.”

Dakota nodded their head, “You haven’t given up on Joe showing up yet right?! Everyone else is just assuming that he’s not showing up cause he should’ve been here by now.”

You shrug your shoulders, “Like you said… he should’ve been here by now, so who knows what’s going on. Maybe some people were right about him not wanting to come here after the terrible football game.”

“Remember what we were talking about yesterday. Joe will always be the same Joe that we knew from high school… There was only one time that he bailed on us to hang out as a group and it was for an important reason, he didn’t just bail on us because he doesn’t want to hang out with us anymore.” Dakota explains.

Their words about Joe makes you smile, it’s always good to hear that the boy you knew from Athens High School grew up into the nice man that his friends praise him to be.

You don’t have any doubts that Joe would be able to make it. You trust Dakota’s words more than anyone else who is doubting his arrival… and Dakota wouldn’t lie to you, so if they said that Joe is coming then he is.

There was still just about 20 minutes to midnight, but people around you were already getting a little too tipsy off the champagne as if the clock had already struck midnight. Another glass of champagne might help you get through the rest of the night if …

The man of the hour, the man that everyone from Athens High School had been looking forward to seeing again… Joe Burrow is standing right in front of everyone with his hand in the pockets of his long black coat and a beanie with his curls falling out.

“Hey everyone!” a voice exclaimed, that had everyone turning their heads towards the rooftop entrance.

There’s noise all around you but you felt frozen in place as you watched Joe and your old classmate greet each other with hugs, wishing everyone a Happy New Year.

“I told you he was going to be here.” Dakota whisper in your ear and patting your back before walking over to Joe to greet him for the first time in a few weeks.

You took a gulp of champagne as you continue to watch Joe, who is now talking to Dakota and another one of your old classmates that you didn’t recognize.

Joe leans closer to whisper something to Dakora before you seem them smile and point towards your direction… When Joe looks over to where Dakota was pointing, a smile appears on his face when he finally notices you standing across the rooftop from him.

You shyly wave towards them as you watch Dakota whisper something to Joe that causes him to laugh as he’s still looking at you… Your mind couldn’t help but wander off into trying to figure out what they could be laughing at.

Were they laughing at you… or laughing about you?!

Before your mind had any chance to theorize about what they could be laughing at, you saw Joe and Dakota walking towards your direction… After taking one last sip of champagne, you place your glass into the rooftop railing that is right next to you and try to act as natural as possible without giving any sign of you freaking out on the inside.

“Hello Y/N! Long time no see!” Joe exclaims right as he and Dakota are walking right in front of you.

“Hey Joe! It’s so good to see you again.” you say, when you see him open arms to give you a hug. You walk towards him to accept his hug.

Joe’s arms wrap around your waist as your arms wrap around his neck and the two of you sway for just a few seconds… When you glance over Joe’s shoulder, you can see Dakota standing a little farther back with a smile on his face.

The hug lasted only just a few seconds longer before the two of you pulled away from each other with matching smiles on your faces and putting your hands in your coat pockets as the breezes goes by.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Joe exclaims. “It’s been 8 years since you’ve been in Ohio… That’s a long time.”

“Yeah it is has been that long… and I can’t believe you’re here too!” you say. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been… fine.” Joe answers. “Things haven’t gone the way I wished the last few weeks… but things will get better next year, that’s what we’re all wishing for.”

“Yeah I heard about some of those things… I’m sorry about your wrist injury, I can’t imagine what it’s like going through something like that.” you respond.

“It’s alright, I don’t need sympathy…” Joe says, “How have you been? Dakota told me you’re going to be publishing your first book in 2024?!”

You nod, “Yeah, I’ve been working on the book for almost two years so I’m ready for it to be publish.”

“I hope I get a signed copy from the author!” Joe cheekily says which causes you to laugh and agree to give him a signed copy when your book is published.

For a few seconds, Joe just stares at you which causes you to raise an eyebrow. “Do I have something on my face?” you ask as you start touching around your mouth to see if there was any crumbs from the food.

“No! No! There’s nothing on your face.” Joe exclaims as he shook his head. “I just… I just can’t believe you’re home for the first time in 8 years.”

“I can’t believe it either.” you say, as you reach for your empty glass from the rooftop railing just to have something to fidget with in your hands.

“I missed you.” Joe confessed, stepping closer to you.

“That’s what I’ve heard.” you say, with a smirk on your face as you make eye contact with Joe.

He furrows his brows, “What have you heard?”

“Nothing bad I promise!” you exclaim. “Dakota has just told me a few things. You know they love to gossip.”

Joe laughs, “Of course… So I’m assuming that you were told that I’m the reason Dakota reached out to you to invite you to this reunion.”

You nod your head as you lean back against the rooftop railing, “That’s one of the things I heard… who would’ve know the Cincinnati Quarterback thinks alot about a girl he used to know from Athens High School.”

Joe steps closer to you as he leans against the rooftop railing, resting his arm on top of the railing. “Why wouldn’t I think about the girl from Athens High School who just mysteriously left the state without saying good-bye and never returned until 8 years later… this is what the kids’ these days call ‘My Roman Empire’.”

You sighed and look to the ground as your crossed your arms over your chest… you knew Joe was just making a joke out of the situation but once again you couldn’t help but feel guilty at your past actions.

“I didn’t mean to be gone for so long…” you respond, “I just never felt like there was a good enough reason to come back until now.”

Once again Joe furrows his brows, but this time you didn’t notice, “What do you mean there wasn’t a good enough reason to come back?”

You didn’t verbally answer, you didn’t know how to verbally answer him… so you shrugged your shoulders.

“I know your mom and step-mom had divorced right after High School Graduation… but was your friends not a good enough reason to come back, was Dakota not a good enough reason? Was I not a good enough reason?” Joe frustratedly asked.

You look up at Joe and immediately start shaking your head, “That’s not… That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean when you said that there wasn’t a good enough reason to come back?” he asks.

“Athens was the closest thing to home that I ever experienced in my life… I hope you remember the many stories I had told you about how my mom and I moved around the country because my mom’s family didn’t accept her after she came out as a Lesbian and she was always scared that they would find her to try and take me away from her.” you stated. “And then my mom met my step-mom and they fell in love, so we moved to Athens. I finally had a place to call home and I didn’t have to worry about always keeping a suitcase full of clothes packed and wondering which city I would wake up in… but 4 years later right before high school graduation they told me that they were getting a divorce because my step-mom had an affair with my mom’s boss. I was planning on leaving Athens to go to Stanford University but also, I planned on coming home if my mom was living in the city but she moved far away from Ohio and I could never build up courage to visit the city because I left everything behind.”

It took a couple of seconds for Joe to respond, you could see the gears turning in his head as he processed all of the information that you had just given him.

The silence between the two of you was so loud that you could hear someone shout in the distance that it was 10 minutes until Midnight… which means that it’s so close to the start of the New Year, it was so close to celebrating with the people who are the closest thing that you ever had to a real family.

“I’m sorry you went through all of that…” Joe whispers. “I remember the stories that you had told me when we were younger, all of the struggled that you and your mom had faced for so many years… and that’s one of the reasons why I’ve always thought about you over the past few years.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I’m very thankful that you were there for me by my side and being a person that I could trust.” you say. “And I wish I would’ve trusted you enough to be a person to have been the person to keep me coming back to Athens.”

“I don’t blame you for leaving… you had to do what you needed to do after what your step-mom did to you and your mom.” Joe says. “I just wish we could’ve stayed in contract with each other, even if it was just to check up on each other every couple of days.”

You nod your head in agreement, “This visit to Athens has really made me feel guilty about keeping contact with the people that cared about me… Everyone else that moved away was able to do it, but I couldn’t.”

“Well it’s never too late to keep in contact with us now.” Joe says, reaching in the pocket of his coat and pulling out his phone. He quickly unlocks it before handing it to you. “Put your phone number in the phone, I’m taking you out tomorrow in Athens.”

You smile as you type your phone number into a brand new contact, and then you give him back his phone. “An area code from New York City?!” he asks.

“Yeah, I live in New York City!” you answer.

“Wow… Really?” he says and you nod your head. “Okay… you might think that I sound crazy but a few months ago, I was in New York for this Charity Partnership and I swear when I went to get lunch that I saw you but, I had thought that I was imagining but, I don’t think I was imagining anymore. The woman that I saw was you!”

“If you went get lunch at Cafe Manhattan then it was probably me because I go and eat there for lunch almost everyday when I’m in New York.” you respond.

“It was Cafe Manhattan!” Joe exclaims which causes you to laugh. “I swear I was going crazy for months thinking if I had seen you or not… I told Dakota about it which led to our conversation about doing this New Year’s Eve Reunion with a bunch of our old friends from Athens.”

“Yeah they had told me yesterday that this New Year’s Eve Reunion was your idea.” you say.

“We were just talking about how it had been so long since all our friends from Athens had got together to hang out like we did in high school… and most people are in their hometowns for the Holidsys, so Dakota just took the chance to plan the event and to invite people and now here we are on New Year’s Eve!” Joe stated.

“I can’t believe it’s almost the new year.” you say.

“I’m so ready for this year to be over…” Joe whispers as he looks at the ground.

“In less than 5 minutes it’s going to be a new year and you’ll never have to experience a day in 2023 ever again!” you exclaim, after checking your watch.

“Thank God… this was a rough year.” Joe states. “Everything that could’ve gone wrong, went wrong.”

You place a hand on his shoulder to give him some comfort. “Don’t think about the bad things that happened this year… Tell me one good thing that happened this year.”

Joe looked up from the ground to you and smiled, “The girl that mysteriously left Athens came home.”

Maybe the redness that appeared on your cheeks was because of the wind… or maybe the redness that appeared on your cheeks is because you’re blushing.

“I’m flattered… but there has to be some other good thing that had happened to you this year.” you say.

Joe shakes his head, “No… nothing is better than this.” he says as he wraps his arm around your shoulder to smoothly pull you close to him and you wrap your arms around his waist.

The two of you watch the fireworks explode in the night sky, as the clock was ticking closer to midnight more fireworks appeared across the sky… You’ve spent the past few years watching the New Years fireworks celebrations from your balcony in New York City, but the sight of fireworks have never been so beautiful.

From the corner of your eye, you can see Dakota watching you and Joe with a smile on their face as they raise their glass to “toast” towards the two of you when you make eye contact with them.

When you turn back to focus on the night sky full of fireworks, you had assumed that Joe was continuing to watch the fireworks show… but when you took a quick glance in his direction, he was staring at you.

“What’s on your mind?” you ask him.

Joe thinks for a few seconds then asks, “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just asked me a question.” you answer which caused Joe to laugh. “But yes, you can ask me a question.”

He takes a sip of champagne and places his glass on the rooftop railing before turning his attention back to you. “Will you be my New Year’s Kiss?”

You let out a laugh, “You didn’t want to ask any other of your old classmates from Athens High School to be your New Year’s Kiss?”

Joe makes a face and shakes his head, “There’s only one girl from Athens High School that I want to kiss.”

The people around you always started the countdown, there was just one minute until the New Year… but you and Joe were stuck a bubble in your own world.

“Can I ask you another question?” Joe asks, you laugh.

“You have alot of questions for me tonight!” you exclaim. “But yes you can ask me another question.”

“I don’t know when you’re leaving Ohio… but will you come back to Athens with me before you leave?” he asked. “I’m going visit my parents just for two days before having to go back to work, and I would love for you to join me.”

“I’m staying in Ohio until January 10th… so I definitely would love to spend a few days with you in Athens.” you answer.

“That good information to know…” Joe says with a smirk on his face that you just wanted to kiss so bad.

“I can tell by the look on your face that you’re already planning out what we’re going to do in Athens.” you say.

Joe nods his head, “I’m going back to Athens tomorrow and Tuesday, then I’ll be in Cincinnati until Sunday for The Bengals last game of the season… then I’ll be back in Athens for a couple of more days. So you’re going to be stuck with me the entire time!”

You laugh at the last part of Joe’s plans, “I guess it’s fair for me to be stuck with you for the next couple of days since I was gone for 8 years.”

“Let’s not talk about the past, let’s focus on the future.” Joe says. “The New Year is so close upon us.”

“TEN!”

The two of you look at the sky and see the fireworks…

“NINE!”

Joe lifts up his glass of champagne and takes a sip…

“EIGHT!”

He places his empty glass on the rooftop railing…

“SEVEN!”

Joe looks at you and smiles…

“SIX!”

You look at Joe and smiles…

“FIVE”

“Are you ready for 2024?” Joe asks in a whisper.

“FOUR!”

You nod your head, “I’m ready for 2024!”

“THREE!”

You lean closer to Joe…

“TWO!”

Joe places his left hand on your cheek…

“ONE!”

Joe leans closer to you…

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

And he kisses you…

There’s an explosion of fireworks in the night sky as people cheer on the beginning on the New Year. You didn’t want to pull away from Joe, you’ve waited much longer than 8 years for this first kiss with him.

The two of you had to pull away, not only just to breathe but so that people wouldn’t be staring at how of their old classmates making out in the corner of the rooftop.

He smiles as he leans his forehead against yours, “Happy New Year!” he whispers to you.

“Happy New Year!” you whisper back to him.

Joe leans back against the rooftop railing and pulls you closer to him as you rest your body against him. The two of you watched the fireworks in the sky and said “Happy New Year!” to your old friends that passed by.

For the rest of the night, you stayed by Joe’s side. After feeling a little bit lonely throughout the night, not being able to find your place amongst your old friends… You finally had someone to stay by your side for the night.

You grateful that your old friends from Athens High School never forgot about you and gave you a reason to visit Athens after being gone for years… You’re happy you accepted Dakota’s New Year’s Eve Reunion invitation, because otherwise you would’ve been stuck all by yourself in your apartment in New York City.

The future year looks to be so exciting; your first book was going to be published this year, you’re rebuilding friendships with your old friends, the boy from Athens High School that you had a crush on is now wrapped around your finger, and you’re already planning your next future visits to Athens, Ohio.

It felt so good to be back to the first place you called home. Surrounded by the people that welcomed you into the city with open arms, the people that were some of the best people in high school or the worse people in high school that shaped you into the person that you are today, and the people that changed you in more ways than you’ll ever realize.

Author’s Note:

Happy New Year! and Happy First Joe Burrow Fanfiction of 2024! I’m very excited for this year and I can’t wait to see what happens in the future!

thank you for all the love and support! 🤍

[sunfyresrider]

𝑴𝒊𝒅𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑳𝒖𝒔𝒕

Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: The story of how you accidentally became fuck buddies with your best friend... who is a werewolf. Tags: Omegaverse, slick, ruts, knots all that stuff. VV minor manipulation, stressed out best friend, begging, cursing, short story mainly smut Author’s Note: This is my first time writing like this so pls be gentle w me. Inspired by a post my queen made a while ago @lovelykhaleesiii Not my best work but it's a filler while I update some other wips and series.

8:30 pm 

Aegon was going to be late as usual. In the long years of friendship, you had with him he was never on-time to anything, although neither were you. You sunk into the couch and scrolled through your phone, searching for something to pass the time. At the very worst he would be an hour late, at the best he would be here soon. 

9:30 pm

Tiktok was quickly becoming uninteresting and so was any discourse on Twitter you tried to read. The clock ticked on, and Aegon was nowhere to be seen. Your patience was wearing thin, and you couldn't help but wonder what could have possibly caused such a delay. Did something happen to him? Should you reach out to check if he was okay? 

10:30 pm

The minutes turned into hours, and fatigue began to set in. Sitting on the couch, your mind drifted to various scenarios, from Aegon getting caught up in an unexpected event to simply forgetting about your plans. Regardless, his disappearance was unusual, even for him. Normally, he would have texted you with an excuse or promised to hang another there. 

11:00 pm 

As the night grew darker, your concern transformed into frustration. You considered calling or texting Aegon, but a part of you hesitated, not wanting to appear too eager or needy. You were proud, far too proud to let him know he was stressing you the fuck out. Still, you couldn't shake off the worry that something might have gone wrong. You stalked all of his socials, inactive. You tried to check his location, but he turned it off, bastard. You messaged Aemond who politely left you on read, as always. 

By now you should accept the fact he’s ghosting you… After years of friendship, it ends like this. What a load of fucking bullshit, a game only Aegon would play. You’re overthinking, maybe he really was hurt or drunk or lost. Too many possibilities raced through your head as you were getting dressed. 

12:00 pm

Your anxious nature took over as you stepped into his ancient apartment building made of old brick. In the past he’d been known for going on all types of benders. Even though he had been sober for quite some time it did not quell the thought he may have relapsed. Your worst fears grew more prominent each step you took towards his door. What if he was dead? What if he was missing? What if he really was just ghosting you to fuck another female? All of the above were causing your heart to race and stomach churn.

Bang bang bang

“Aegon! Are you in here?!” you shouted from outside the door, digging into your purse for the spare key. “Aeg! If you don’t answer i'm coming in!” From outside you could hear the sounds of… something inside. You weren’t sure if it was a groan or a moan but neither boded well for you. ‘Fuck it,’ you thought to yourself as you jammed your key into the door. The inside was the same, plain and simple. The black couch still sat in front of the flat screen and the kitchen by the door was completely untouched. As you stalked further inside the small whimpers from his bedroom became more and more clear. He was alive, but he must be with someone else. That almost hurt worse. Even if you were just friends, it was painfully obvious how much you fancied him. You were practically fuming, who the fuck was he with now? Your steps turned into long strides as you neared his door, slamming it open with one hand. 

“What the fu-” The scene before you sucked all of the air out of your body. He was alive and… “This isn’t what it looks like!” He jumped, falling off the bed with only a sheet covering him. You were stunned, shocked, confused, and utterly dumbfounded. There he was humping a pillow wi- with a tail? “What the fuck—” you drawled out your words trying to comprehend the situation at hand. There Aegon was, as bare as a baby, with a fluffy tail and ears… 

“I can explain, just- just-” Aegon paused to sniff the air, for the first time he noticed your scent. The pheromones you were releasing immediately threatened to drive him crazy. His rut was horrible this year, reaching the worst today. He took to fucking a pillow and was crying trying to ease the pain… You had no idea how much worse you had made it for him by walking inside. Had you been in heat this entire time and it took a transformation for him to notice your sweet smell? It was intoxicating, mind dumbing and exhilarating all at once. His thoughts became a flurry of all the things he wanted with you. Aegon wanted to ravage you, devour you whole and claim you as his mate. Did you even know you were in heat? 

He stood up, with the sheet poorly covering his erection. His eyes were blurry with tears and his lips formed into a permanent pout. “I need you- I need your help, just please don’t run.” Your eyes drifted down to his bulge; it isn't wrong you were only human after all! “H-how can I help?” There are no words in any language to describe what you were feeling. You were shocked, scared, turned on, and in awe of the tail wagging behind him. Never in any lifetime did you expect the term “human golden retriever” to become a reality. “It hurts- so so bad.” He whined making slow moves towards you so as to not startle you. 

This was odd, he was odd, you were having a fucking fever dream or something. You pointed a finger at his crotch, eyeing him up and down. He nodded his head vigorously and you swore his ears perked up. I can’t fix it without your help.” Was he drooling or was that the tears still falling from his eyes… “w-why?” His voice cracked, “Its- Its a wolf thing.” Ah, he was a werewolf not a dog. He took a step forward and you circled around him, back facing the bed. You weren’t scared, just overwhelmingly confused. Of course, you always wanted him, always thought of him begging but not like this… 

Your breath was sucked out of you once more as he fell to his knees, hand gripping at your sides. He stared up at you with the worst case of puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen. “I’ve always wanted you- I’ve always needed you, but I-I was so scared. P-please! Let me prove it to you.” A bit manipulative, but what else could he do? His cock was throbbing, and you were the most beautiful prey he had ever laid eyes upon. “I… ok, I’ll help.” 

His eyes turned primal, making you automatically realize there was an error in your decision. Aegon, acting purely on instinct, pounced on you. His weight pushing you fully onto the bed, squirming beneath him as his lips devoured yours. A guttural growl escaping his throat as he grinded himself against your clothed cunt. 

Aegon's fingers dug into your thighs as he pulled them apart. His tongue lapped hungrily at your neck, making you shudder as goosebumps erupted across your skin. A moan escaped your lips as his hands moved to rip off your clothes. Of course, he couldn’t just remove them normally. With two quick tears they were gone along with your bra and panties leaving you completely naked under his gaze. Superhuman strength, that’ll take some getting used to.

The feel of his hot breath sent shivers through your body as he moved downwards. He was panting, inhaling the sweet scent of your slick. Aegon needed to taste it, to feel it cover his tongue. His fingers trailed over your cunt before pressing firmly into your slit, causing you to arch upwards. Oh god, were you this wet from him crying? 

You felt the tip of his tongue press against your clit. At first it was just a taste, to test if you were as sweet as you smelled. It was better, so much better than anyone could imagine. His mouth pressed firmly against you, Aegon’s tongue mercilessly lapping at your pussy. The way he devouring you drove you insane, sending shocks shooting throughout your entire being. 

He began to lap faster at your sensitive flesh, desperate to swallow you whole. He behaved like a man starved and this was his last steak. He didn’t care about anything else; all he cared for was satisfying his hunger. His claws pricked your ass cheeks as he knelt between your legs, forcing you open wider. His tongue dipped into your hole causing your legs to shiver. 

"Ahh!" You cried out, buckling as waves of pleasure shot through your core. Your cunt began tightening around nothing as his tongue moved to do circles around your clit. The vibrations of his low growls sending a new pleasure throughout you. 

He pulled back, his face glistening with your slick. Aegon licked his lips lazily, as he stared down at you. "Baby," he purred, baring his fangs you did not know existed. "I’m gonna claim you." His words made you blush, wait how was he gonna? 

He quickly shoved his lips onto your own, sucking every word out of your mouth. His teeth nipping at your bottom lip as he thrusted his hips forwards, grinding against your slick. A sharp gasp escaped your lips as he prodded at your entrance. 

Aegon let go of your face snaking his hands down to your waist… Without notice, he flipped you onto your stomach causing you to yelp. Before you knew it, he was straddling you, one knee on either side of your body. His erection rubbed against the crease between your ass cheeks as he held himself above you.

You looked up at him, watching his chest rise and fall rapidly. He stared at you for confirmation, even in wolf form consent mattered. You nodded, unable to speak. Aegon gave you a feral grin before shoving himself inside you. 

"Oh fuck!" You moaned loudly as he pushed deeper, stretching you wide. This wasn't going to be easy. But then again, neither were any of the things Aegon did. He began thrusting harshly, giving you no time to adjust. Each deep push forced another scream to escape your lips until he dropped his full weight on you, pulling your face up by your hair. 

Aegon’s head dipped into the crook of your neck, near your collarbone and he fucking bit you. From this point on, you were claimed, forever and always his omega. His movements became rougher as he neared his finish. It felt as if his cock was growing inside you. 

Your hands gripped the sheets tightly, as you whimpered and moaned different curses. Your body acting without you as it tightened around him. As if your very essence wanted to give him what he desired most. Allowing him to fill you up and make you his.

"A-A-Aegon!" You screamed out as you came. Your muscles clenching around his shaft. He growled, a real growl this time as his cock began to form a knot, securing himself deep inside you. His arms wrapped unbearably tight around you, squeezing your breasts roughly while he slammed hard into you, burying his cock fully within your womb. Your cunt tightened around his knot as his seed spilled out inside of you. 

You landed in unison, slowly he eased his grip on you so you could sink into the bed. “A-Aegon are you going to move?” You were absolutely clueless as to why you were still stuffed to the brim. His cock must have grown which goes against human biology but apparently so did his very existence. 

He peppered kisses along your shoulder as he moved to pull you into a spooning position. “We’re gonna be stuck like this for a while.”

[cvntycunt]

no contact ｡･ ˚ ‧

I masterlist

I pairing rafe!reader

I word count: 1.7k

I rafe's girlfriend, also known as your best friend. you have been best friends since you were kids, you did everything together. when the summer after freshman year rolled around, you got roped into the wrong crowd, rafe’s crowd. you did drugs, partied, did things maybe teenagers should not have done. but it was that night that changed everything, the night you had sex with your best friend's boyfriend and shipped yourself off to boarding school the same night.

I hope u guys enjoy :3 dis my first series lmaoo

exiting the plane you could feel the warm kildare air, it felt the same as when you left. you were nervous to see everyone that you hurt, your best friend ella, your friends, and rafe. after you had sex with him, you felt terrible. immediately regretting what you did, you had to get out… and well, you did, and now you're back. you know that everything has changed, or have gone back to the way that they were, maybe for them but not for you. 

you felt the breeze as soon as you walked out of the airport doors, bags in hand. you start looking for your parents car, looking around for a good thirty seconds until you finally spot it. You could not wait to hug your parents, it feels like it has been forever, but it’s only been a year. your parents call out your name, you run over to them and pull them in for an embrace. after exchanging very few words your father loads your bags in the back of the car, getting into the backseat and buckling up. 

“so, what are your plans?” your mother turns her head around and looks at you. you turn to look at her from looking out the window. you narrowed your eyebrows, 

“what do you mean?” 

“well, ella probably misses you?” she said with a scoff, “you remember her?” her mom and dad chuckled, you rolled your eyes in annoyance.

the last thing you wanted to worry about right now was Ella. you hurt her, how could you possibly look her in the eye and act like you didn’t fuck her boyfriend last summer? the truth was, you always had a slight crush on rafe. but you never said anything because rafe was HER boyfriend. he was not up for grabs, he was not yours and you knew that. 

“mom, i don’t think that ella would wanna see me.” you shrugged at her and turned to look back out at the window.

 when you drove through the remote controlled gate to your house, your nerves settled a little bit. You were finally home, and you were clean most importantly. as soon as you opened the car door you ran inside, you didn’t even have time to close the car door. you ran up to your room and turned the knob to open the door. you looked around and realized that everything was left the same. you smiled to yourself. your room was the only good thing about being back, well… and your cat.

10:00 PM

you were laying in your bed, watching euphoria on your TV with your cat until you got an instagram notification. you went to check who it was… topper, rafe’s best friend. you rolled your eyes, and clicked the notification. you read it for a second before answering.

@topperthornton: yoo, heard u was back. ru going to the bonfire tonite?

@you: why are you inviting me?

@topperthornton: well, rent u like one of ellas friends or wtv? 

you stared at the message for a moment before deciding to get up. you grabbed the television remote and switched from max to spotify and played a song to get ready to. you stepped into your closet and picked out some ripped jean shorts and a tight spaghetti strap top that showed off the curves of your body. you walked over to the bathroom to detangle your hair with a hairbrush. as you brushed out your hair you couldn’t help but think that you are gonna see your best friend, and potentially the guy you fucked after a year. it makes you sick and wanna throw up. you had all this guilt on your face and people could tell from a mile away. 

you set the hairbrush down on the counter and stepped back into your room to put on some air forces. grabbing your jacket and your phone, you snuck downstairs quietly. trying not to wake up your parents, you walked out of the house closing and locking the door behind you. 

your mind was racing through thoughts, thinking if this is what you should do, deciding to fuck it and just do it anyway. if anybody found out what you have done, just imagine the names and disgust people would give you. it would ruin your reputation.

Riding your bike to the bonfire, you kept thinking if this was a bad idea or not. you knew being back there would be consequences for your actions at some point. you pulled into the parking lot by the beach, parking your bike against some post. you heard distant laughs, loud music, and talking, and just like earlier you wanted to throw up. but for real this time. 

approaching the bonfire you immediately saw ella, couldn’t help but smile, until you realized that she was dancing along some dude, a tall figure. he turned around and your face turned from a smile to a blank stare. 

it was rafe, and then all of a sudden you couldn’t help but think about that night.

you were unable to resist the raw need in rafe’s gaze, he took a step closer, bridging the gap between you two. your bodies pressed together, the warmth of skin against skin soothing the lingering chill. rafe’s hands come to rest on your waist. Your lips met in a gentle, questioning kiss…

you snap your mind out of it, it is selfish to think about that night when your best friend is literally dancing against his cock right now. you grabbed an unattended drink off the ground and downed it, leaning your head back as you chugged it. you threw the empty plastic cup back down on the floor. 

someone calls out your name, you turn around and see it’s no other than sarah cameron, also known as rafe’s sister. goodness god, you can’t help but think to yourself that you can't escape a cameron, no matter how hard you try.

“omg! i didn’t know you were coming!” she pulls you in for a hug.

you quickly pull away, not really in a huggy mood because you were sweating your face off with guilt. “uh, hey!” you say, acting amused.

“i heard you went to boarding school? finally got in trouble for your acts, huh?” sarah was a bitch, all you wanted to do was slap her across the face and put her in her place. she was one of your friends before you got in with rafe’s crowd. now it’s awkward, maybe more than awkward. It’s just… weird…

you turn back around and start walking past ella and rafe. as you walk past. rafe finally spots you. 

“is that...” rafe says, looking down at ella.

“what? she’s back?” 

ella scoffed, she was pissed you didn’t even text, or call. Even in boarding school you never wrote to her, you were too ashamed of yourself. you thought going to the bonfire would be a great opportunity to reconnect with your peers, however it just made things seem worse. 

meanwhile, you took a seat at a rock looking at the ocean. hearing the waves crash against each other gives you peace. you see out of the corner of your eye a tall figure approaching you, when it got closer you saw that it was no other than rafe cameron. he wanted to speak, but you would not let him. “do not fucking start.” you said in a harsh tone looking up at him. 

“can we just talk? please?” he replied with a look that made you feel even worse.

 “fine, what do you want?” you asked as he took a seat right next to you, 

“why did you leave?” he turned to look at you. everyone in Rafe’s life treated him like shit, his father, his sister, even his girlfriend. you didn’t wanna be one of those people that let rafe down.

 “i–” you were trying to think of the words to say to him, trying to alter the reason why to make him believe he wasn’t a part of the reason as to why you left. truth was, you were tired of all the lies for the past year, so you tried something different. “what we did was wrong, rafe…”

the truth with rafe was he hated how you worded it, it obviously happened for a reason. that night changed him forever, last summer you took his virginity… and he took yours. but you never knew that, ella never talked about her sex life because the thought of it made her want to die. “i’m sorry rafe… this is not fair to you, i shouldn’t have come back.” you say while raising to stand on your two feet. you turn the other way and start walking the other direction from the bonfire, tears forming.

12:26

after you arrive home, you enter your house. you close the door and lock it behind you. making your way up to your bedroom, you opened the bedroom door and you felt your back pocket vibrate. you pull your phone out and see a message from an unknown number.

unknown: please just let me talk 2 u

you: who is this?

you knew who it was, you weren’t stupid. but you didn’t want to show him that you still cared, even though you do. It isn’t fair to ella, you already hurt her. 

unknown: its rafe

rafe: let me come over?

you: leave me alone. 

you didn’t want to block him, afraid that would make things even worse. you simply just put your phone on do not disturb and you go to place it down on your bedside table. undressing yourself and changing into some comfortable sleepwear, you went to go check your phone to see if rafe was still texting you, and no surprise he was… forty-three text messages in the past five minutes. you sighed, before going to the bathroom to brush your teeth. stepping back into your room, you turned off the light and quickly hopped into bed.

⠀⠀I two

[koilaniazul]

why not me? (pt 2)

pairing- matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: matt confronts y/n and it turns into a confession. but of course, these things don’t always have a happy ending.

warnings: swearing, angst, matt is a meanie once again

go check out part one!

after seeing matt’s date, you felt empty. the boy you had loved for years had just slipped from your fingers.

he didn’t even text. or call. hell, he could’ve sent a damn pigeon and you would’ve jumped for joy.

but no, he just ghosted you. that wasn’t like him.

the entire time you were in your house you stalked eiliana. her instagram, her tiktok, her threads account, her moms facebook account. you found out she has an onlyfans. (that she barely even posted on.)

*she’s not good for matt.* you thought to yourself

you hadn’t got up from your bed in DAYS. and the dishes + smell in your room was a dead giveaway.

on the 5th day you unltimately decided it was time for self care.

you got up from your bed and felt disgusting. gathering all the takeout boxes and bowls with living organisms inside them, you stuffed them in the dishwasher as well as taking out the trash.

pulling off your dirty and crumb filled sheets and putting them in the washer, disinfectant over EVERY surface in your house.

hopping into the hot shower and letting out a soft moan feeling the anxiety and overwhelming stress wash away.

standing in your towel you looked at your phone, an instagram notif popped up.

a message. from matt.

he wanted..to talk? he wanted to talk. matt wanted to talk. and he was coming over in 10 minutes.

reality suddenly hit ur brain as you hopped out of the bathroom and quickly got dressed into the most decent fit you could find.

ur hair was still wet and you barely had time to put makeup on.

matt was coming over and you looked like a wet abandoned dog.

putting on perfume you heard your doorbell ring.

oh shit.

halfway sprinting to the door you opened it as your heart stopped.

there stood matt who you hadn’t seen in weeks.

and he looked so good. even his outfit looked so fine.

you checked him out without shame and he noticed.

clearing his throat, the boy looked her in the eyes. “can..i come in?” he asked a bit unsure.

stepping out of your trance, you looked up at matt with doe eyes. “yeah..yeah sure”

matt carefully stepped inside and took his shoes off as you walked into your living room.

sitting on the couch you patted the spot next to you for him to sit down.

he sat down and avoided eye contact.

deciding to break the quietness, you spoke.

“so, why are you here? missed me that much?” you asked slightly laughing.

he didn’t return the laughter. matt side eyed you as he spoke, “i think you know why im here y/n”.

your smile faded. “i don’t know..”’. as much as you hated lying, you didn’t want to talk about what happened.

matt’s jaw clenched in anger. “ what do you mean?! you showed up at my date with my girlfriend!”.

girlfriend? there’s no way he was dating her already.

you stood up. “are you serious matt? you’ve only known her for like a week!”.

matt’s eyes widened as he stood up as well. “you can’t be talking right now. why are you so interested about how long i’ve known eiliana?! if you need to know we’d been talking for like months before!”

you scoffed. but as you tried to speak again he cut you off. “matt- no y/n shut the fuck up! you’re crazy. eiliana literally complained to me that she was scared of you because you kept stalking her profiles every.single.day.”

your mouth went dry. you forgot to hide your own profile.

“you’re supposed to be my best friend! not some psycho who’s literally joe goldburg.” matt says obviously stressing

“well i cant just be your friend matt!” you yelled. you didn’t think before you spoke. *shut up y/n* you thought to yourself

matt looked even more confused than he was before. “why not?”

“because i fucking love you!” you cried out.

dead silence.

you panted. suddenly out of breath.

you looked up at matt. his eyes darkened.

he.was.pissed.

“matt-“ you said trying to touch his arm

“don’t-don’t touch me!” he said taking two steps back from you

you jerked your hand back scared from his reaction.

“matt please listen to me!” you yelled, tears started to pool your eyes.

he looked up and scoffed. “no you don’t get to cry y/n. you don’t get to fucking cry after you stalked my girlfriend and showed up at our date.”

“i- i didnt even mean to!” you stuttered. “i only left my house because you stood me up!”

matt rolled his eyes. “so what? i went on a date with a girl. you’re being a sensitive bitch.”

“why are you being such a dick right now?! this isn’t the matt i know!”

“oh yeah because you know me so well. matt said with a hint of sarcasm. “you don’t know me at all!”

you started to sob now. “matt-matt please!”

he walked to your front door. “i can’t be here.”

you panicked and sprinted to the front door, blocking him from leaving.

“let’s talk! please.” you begged desperately.

he finished putting his shoes on. “out of my way.”

your breath hitched. “matt.”

he sighed. “we can’t do this y/n. this isn’t healthy.”

confusion reached your face. “what are you talking about..?”

“we can’t be friends anymore.”

your heart dropped. “h-huh?”

he rubbed his temples “that’s why i came over here anyway. eilana and i had talked about it before i drove over. she suggested it and i think it’s a good idea.”

tears rolled down your face. “you’re one of my best friends i cant lose you!”

“ my girlfriend is terrified of you. and you clearly need help, please move out of the way y/n”

you gave up.

moving out of the doorway, matt opened the door and stood in the door frame.

“you know, i wanted to introduce her to you. i thought you two would be good friends. guess not. see you around”

he shut the door as you heard his footsteps walk away.

you tried to cry but you couldn’t.

you were so tired.

only one thought circled your head.

why not me?

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

𝗄𝗈𝗂'𝗌 𝗒𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀 ↷

BYEE WHY DOES THIS SUCK ASS

anyway.. i did not mean to make matt this mean. welp!

ALSO TELL ME WHY I SPELT EILANA THREE DIFFERENT WAYS

please tell me if you find any mistakes!

ok bai love ya ꨄ

⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡⇡

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA - me and my bestfriend (bsf) of six years recently got into a 2 week long argument and at this point have stopped talking. First i need to provide some back ground of the situation. Last November i became friends with “J”. This itself caused some arguments because they have similar names and sometimes i’d slip and call bsf, J, on accident and would immediately apologize. After a couple times of this happening she got really upset but i explained i’d been doing the same to J and she seemed to be less upset about it.

In the beginning of January, J and her bestfriend “E” got into some pretty serious drama where information from both sides never matched up but i’d known and used to be friends with E for a while. He is not a great guy speaking from past experience. (he constantly talks about how he’s a narcissist very proudly) He was claiming they had slept together and was telling all of his friends about it. She was saying they hadn’t. These rumors had been going around for months about them but had died down until this. the problem is i believed J but bsf was close with E and sided with him. I’d like to make a note through this entire situation neither me or bsf played any roll in it to my knowledge. this was just between E and J. Later on i found out they had slept together from J and asked why she had said they hadnt she said it was an agreement between the two of them that they wouldn’t say anything to anyone else because of the rumors people were already spreading about them being together. But once she found out it was definitely him telling people this time she told me the truth. yeah they had slept together then he forced her to take a plan B even though he knew she was on birth control and they’d used a condom. then ghosted her and pretended not to know her when asked by Js twins sisters best-friend.

Now it’s about 3 weeks ago where i posted two separate story’s saying how much i loved J and her sister and the other about how much i love bsf. about 10 minutes later bsf texted me “just delete this.” i of course asked why but she never responded so i took it down like she asked. later that day she reply’s to a text i had sent her the day before saying “nothing much just wishing i was hanging out with you” she replied “right.” at this point i’m genuinely confused what’s happening i had a feeling it was about J somehow because every time i posted about J it would be the one thing she didn’t like or comment on and she would get annoyed when i’d mention some thing me and J had done recently. i immediately replied with “of course, i love hanging out with you. your my best friend” A couple hours later she send me a three paragraph message saying how she didn’t think that anymore because i was ignoring everything she was telling me about what E was saying. That i was only taking J’s side and always talking about what J was saying about her side. She said I was using her as a separate option that if J couldn’t hang out i would call her. etc at the end of the message she told me she would never make me choose but that she will never trust anything J says. (they’ve literally never met or talked the only thing she hears about J is through E or me) she ends it with do whatever you want to do but don’t do anything for me. keep being friends with her idk i’m keeping my distance from all that. I replied with a message basically saying that she wasn’t the second option, i wasn’t sure who to trust, and that i try to avoid talking about the situation with J. we go back and forth with her apologizing for how she’s acting then getting mad about me not just believing her over everything else i’m being told. Then she tried to claim she never said J was wrong but that she knows she’s lied to me (the thing i mentioned in the first paragraph is the only time she’s lied to me) that she never picked a side and that she can’t believe how hurt she feels when “i’m supposed to be her bestfriend” i brought up the fact that i had asked her more than once if me being friends with her bothered her and she always said no. That this wouldn’t have exploded like this if we could have talked it out before. she took that as me saying this was all her fault.

A couple days later she messages me asking to talk in person i say when and where but she just send me a message about her feelings anyways again apologizing for how she’s acting and that she felt i wasn’t listening to her but it hurt more to lose me etc but continuing to say she doesn’t think i should be friends with J but it’s my choice. I reply i was listening but i think we were both just trying to find the facts in a situation we will never really know who was lying 100%. but i made a point in the massage to say i wasn’t going to stop being friends with J and that i didn’t understand why me and bsf relationship was so affected by me and J’s. She gets mad again bringing up a hate account that was made claiming J had made it but J had shown me that she hadn’t and it was investigated by our school who also said she didn’t do it. that it was my choice to be friends with her but that i don’t understand how it’s affecting her and that it wasn’t fair. at this point i was really mad because it really felt like she was trying to force me to choose between them two in a way. i replied saying she hadn’t made the account and said i don’t think J is the reason we stopped talking and that i feel like she was making me choose even though she was saying she wasn’t. she then replied saying she didn’t make me choose but that i had chose J over her and “that i guess you though she needed more attention” (yeah maybe because J is not mentally handling this well at all and your fine because your not actually involved with this drama) i didn’t reply to her but about another week later i texted her “i just want to be friends with both of you. why can’t i do that” she replied i understand but i don’t think you should be friends with she’s not a good person but hope your having fun it’s all i wanted for you. that’s the end of the messages at this point.

TLDR : (do we do those here??) bestfriend of three years stopped talking to me because i became friends with another girl who later got into drama with best friends close friend E (A PROUDLY SELF PROCLAIMED NARCISSIST I MIGHT ADD)

What are these acronyms?

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Millie Bright x Reader

Around If You Need Me

Part of the Beth McCarthy mini series

Omg Did She Call Him Baby?

Did he fuck it up again?

I know that she needs a friend

But I want to be more than that

He's her type, he's a ten

When he messages I bet

Unlike me he doesn't get left unread

“Hey! What ya doing tomorrow, I haven’t seen you in ages?” you asked as soon as Millie answered the phone. “Oh hey (y/n/n), I’m out at the moment, can I call you back later?” her reply full of distraction. “Of course, yeah.. that’s fine, speak soon!” There wasn’t a reply as the line abruptly hung off after that. Flopping back onto the bed disappointed, Millie never has time for you anymore and you’re starting to wonder why you keep trying. Going back to mindlessly scrolling TikTok and playing games on your phone while murder documentaries played out on the TV in front of you. You hadn’t left your bedroom in days and had taken the plunge to ask Millie for a coffee after not hearing from her in weeks. She was your best friend but you felt like you weren’t hers anymore. If she needed anything you’d drop everything just to be there for her but that was rarely reciprocated lately. You pretended to understand, she is an international footballer these days and you just have a boring 9-5 in an office, leaving you loads of spare time to miss her.

Drawing your eyes away from your phone and towards the clock you were shocked to see it was midnight, you’d been so focussed on your phone and waiting for a call back which never happened. Again. Feeling deflated you brushed your teeth and got ready for bed, even though you’ve been laying on it all weekend.

The next morning you still had zero notifications from Millie, you know she can be forgetful so decided to text her. After writing and deleting several messages before settling on “be good to catch up x”, pressing the send button before you changed your mind again. With a mouth full of sandwich on your lunch break you were starting to feel a bit forgotten by your best friend come ex. Oh yeah, you used to date but it was only for a month. She was experimenting and let’s just say that that experiment didn’t go the way you had hoped. It wasn’t an experiment for you, you’d known you liked women from an early age and Millie kinda took advantage of that. No sooner after she called it off she got with her now boyfriend who’s she’s been with for about six months. That’s when she started to distance herself from you. You used to hang out all the time but now your messages get left on read and when they are replied to, it’s always days.. sometimes weeks later and every time it’s - “sorry I forgot”. Fair enough, she’s a busy lady but you don’t just forget your best friend exists do you? Millie is everyone’s friend yet she was your only friend so you’d been clinging on to the threads of the friendship that was left, always over thinking if you were being naggy or possessive or wasting your time, should you just let her go?

Weeks passed and you’d still hadn’t heard from her, you’d started to come to terms with that fact you’ll never be as close as you once were. Every year she always messages on your birthday so when you received a 10 second phone call of “hey, can I come over?” you literally ran home from the restaurant where your family had taken you to celebrate.

Answering the door excitedly to see her face didn’t feel like you’d imagined as she immediately started ranting about what her boyfriend’s done wrong. She wasn’t there to wish you a happy birthday, she was there because she needed someone to moan to. Nevertheless, you made tea and listened to her for hours until she noticed the cards on the window sill. Picking one up to read it was addressed to you and quickly glancing at her watch to look at the date. “Oh my god, I completely forgot!” she gasped clunking her tea cup onto the table and scooping you into a hug. You knew in your head that a hug shouldn’t make up for forgetting your birthday, but it made your heart a little happier.

Millie cleared her schedule to spend the rest of the day with you, it felt nostalgic watching films and playing with the dogs, drinking tea in the garden and listening to her sharing all the gossip. That was until she received a text from her boyfriend apologising for his earlier actions and inviting her on a date. Running to your wardrobe and flying the doors open to look at the clothes you had hanging there she started to unhook the hangers, look at them for two seconds then chuck them onto the bed - making a huge mess you knew she wasn’t going to tidy. That was until she found a dress you’d been saving for a special occasion and before you could say ‘no’, she’d already stripped out of her trackies and slipped the slinky black number over her body.

“This is perfect!” she exclaimed admiring herself in the mirror. Sighing at how good she looked, you didn’t have the heart to tell her that dress was off limits, even though you knew you’d never see it again. “Can I borrow your make up? Can you straighten my hair?” shoving your straighteners into your hands without giving you a choice in the matter. Reluctantly helping her get ready because you just wanted to make her happy, the voice in the back of your head knew she was taking the piss but your heart just didn’t let you stop. Gazing at her through the mirror as she applied your make up to her face, she paid no attention to your wandering eyes as you longed for her to feel the same way you do. The way her hair falls in exactly the right place, the way the dress clings to her curves perfectly, the way the colour makes her skin glow. You knew what her lips taste like and you’d been searching for that flavour in every woman you’ve kissed since.

“Do you have shoes to go with this?” she asked, snapping you out of your daydream. “Mill, you outgrew my shoes in year 7, don’t you remember?” you said putting your size 5s next to her size 8s. “Hmm, that’s annoying… I’ll just have to make these work” slipping her £400 trainers back on to her feet before leaving your bedroom like a bomb site. “Do you think he’ll like it?” she asked admiring herself in the mirror, “of course he will, he’s not blind Millie” you said trying to hide how deflated you were. Following her downstairs she bought you in for one last hug, “thanks (y/n/n), I can always count on you” as she walked out to the car parked up outside your house. “Oh! Happy birthday by the way!” she waved as she was driven away from you.

Watching her leave you knew, things had to change. You can’t carry on being so available and dependable to her every time she calls. A friendship isn’t a friendship if it’s one sided.. but how many times have you told yourself that before?

[palepinkgoat]

tag game Wednesday Thursday!

thank you for tags and mentions @gallawitchxx @thepupperino @wehangout @blue-disco-lights @gardenerian @deedala @energievie and @jrooc !!! I love you all so much.

how did you get into the fandom? Girl, let's get in a Time Machine to 2013.

I had just had a massive injury that left me unable to walk or leave my bed for months. In this time, I was watching YouTube a lot. YouTube knows me well, so one night said "oh, this is gay, you will like it." The clip was the van kiss. Like, the first kiss. It piqued my interest and soon I'm in a YouTube wormhole. Season 3 had finished so there were some newer uploads. I loving the morning scenes with the Gallaghers too, and once I kind of pieced it all together I went on amazon and bought the first 3 season digitally. There I was, obsessed and bed bound. After a little googling I found Tumblr around Christmas, and lurked until season 4 started. Then I started poking my head out a bit and reblogged some stuff. But I wasn't really fully "in" until I started writing fics in 2014. Then I got more active and after writing a series called Four Eight, more people learned who I was (via a post by a super "popular" and now deactivated Tumblr account). Then I was in. sidenote: Eventually I did physical therapy around the time the club kiss aired (being there for that in real time?? Guys, I'm still screaming) and I'd watch that over and over as I iced my weak leg and took half a prescribed Percocet. The club kiss was better than the Percocet.

how long have you been here? So technically I guess I've had Tumblr 10 years. In December it will be 11. HOWEVER I was not active for several years in between like season 7ish until after the series ended, so I guess I should subtract. But that gets too be too much math.

what’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?) Youtube at first since that's how I found them. I was also really into watch fan video edits and watched them OBSESSIVELY.

what’s your favourite now? For fandom, Tumblr! Nothing quite like it. I'm glad to be back.

which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom? Oh my gosh. @captainjowl, @wehangout and @the-rat-wins are the ones who come to mind but I'm sorry if I'm overlooking some. So many people left!

which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know? I remember really loving @captainjowl and being so glad when we got to be friends. Then because I almost have a Tumblr Season 2 life, I was really impressed by @heymacy and she just JUMPED off the screen. I wanted to be friends so I sent a message about chapell roan and now we talk ALL THE TIME. I've met so many newer to me people and I am so glad I know so many cool people.

first Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember) I wish I remembered the first fic I read!! Sexual Harassment in the Workplace was posted around the time I started writing fic and of course that's amazing. I know works by anythingbutgrief were some of the first too. Beautiful.

first fan art that blew your mind? @steorie blows my mind every time. That's the first person I remember just losing it over. But there are so many incredible artists!!

fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love? a/b/o! But I mostly was like "what the fuck is this about?" And then got on board pretty fast.

What surprised you most about this fandom? the level of talent is absolutely wild.

moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich? the first one was probably s3 "not everybody gets to blurt out how they fucking feel every minute!" because i was like, OHHH OH THIS IS GONNA HURT ME & then it just kept getting worse.... @gallawitchxx just said it best BUT! I have a tattoo that says "sorry I'm late" so I guess you could say I'm into that one too.

Ian or Mickey? Ian is my baby, my friend. my familiar. I adore them both and it's hard to choose, but I loved him right away and never quit.

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? I'm honestly a lot like Ian. But maybe if I swung Milkovich I'd be Sandy.

[thgfanfictionlibrary]

Mature Rated Fics Masterlist (22)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17 / Part 18 / Part 19 / Part 20 / Part 21 /

Created: December 16th, 2023

Last Checked:------

Little Deer, Little Sun, Little Coincidence-orphan_account (ao3) Summary: Katniss is less than enthused when Prim all but forces her to spend the evening at the fair with Johanna instead of with the twins, especially when Johanna's friend-of-a-friend joins them under the Ferris wheel. That is, until she recognizes this friend-of-a-friend: Peeta Mellark, the personable boy who went away to some fancy, big-city college six years ago. Obviously there's some catching-up to do, and more than can be done on a Ferris wheel, too, but being a single mother for nearly five years has left her a bit rusty in the flirtation department.

Miles Cross-Mejhiren (ao3) Summary: ‘And they that wad their true-love win / At Miles Cross they maun bide.’ Katniss holds Peeta through a critical episode, paralleling Janet in the old Scottish ballad of Tam Lin (often told as a fairy tale in prose form). “Miles Cross” is the crossroads where Janet pulled her lover from his horse and, by holding him through his many frightening transformations, won him from the fairies. Canon oneshot, post-MJ; written for the THG Fairy Tale Fic Challenge.

Rebound Girl-Diana_Flynn (ao3) Summary: Katniss Everdeen only goes for only one type of man. It doesn’t matter how tall he is, the color of his hair, or even his personality. What she wants is the man fresh out of a relationship. She likes being that temporary girl the guy uses to lick the wounds of his bruised heart. Too bad Peeta Mellark changes everything for her.

Refuel, Restore, Realign-JennaGill (ao3) Summary: Peeta and Katniss take a chance they missed in high school, changing life paths and testing family loyalties. “No son, it’s a family business. And blue means loyalty, family loyalty. It means obligation. It means duty. Values we Everdeens and Hawthornes hold high.” Mr. Everdeen takes a deep breath and looks me over once more. “I can see from your expression that you’re not following me son, forget the damn sign. It means my daughter will not date you. Katniss’ path is not with you.”

The Dreadful Beauty-Diana_Flynn (ao3) Summary: She watches him, the beautiful blonde boy who has become a fixture at the bar/brothel she buses tables at. He just sits there and waits, and she wishes she knew what gave him that chip on his shoulder. Mutt is her name, and no one cares to remember what her real one is, or even notice her. She doesn’t care either, as long as she makes ends meet . But her life will change when that boy with so much to hide notices her. Everlark Fanfiction Inspired by East of Eden. Takes place in World War I Era, Monterey CA.

The Mockingjay and the Mutt-Abagail_Snow (ao3) Summary: While taming a hijacked Peeta in District Thirteen, Katniss comes to understand a side of him that she had never allowed herself to see. Loosely based on Beauty and the Beast.

The Need for Speed-Peetabreadgirl (ao3) Summary: Race car driver, Peeta Mellark, is chasing his first racing title, but along the bumpy road he ends up lost, stuck in Panem Springs where he meets an enchanting, silver-eyed trophy of a different kind.

The Unexpected Message-Diana_Flynn (ao3) Summary: Years after the war has ended Katniss has a fight with Peeta, but she finds an a gift that changes her perspective.

This is Halloween-bubblegum1425 (ao3) Summary: Katniss Everdeen has been in love with her best friend, Peeta Mellark, for nearly as long as she'd known him. They'd grown together, carrying on their yearly Halloween tradition of watching The Nightmare Before Christmas and other scary movies, but this year was going to be different. This year, Katniss is finally going to use their time together to tell Peeta how she feels…if he doesn't ruin her plans first. College Everlark. Modern AU

We will call this place our home-JLaLa (ao3) Summary: “She closed her eyes, trying to hold in the disappointing sting of being duped. This man was indeed Peeta Mellark, her husband.” An arranged married in three parts. Everlark.

[sixty-silver-wishes]

Cool dice 🤩

hiiii!!!

so I have a few hyperfixations and I post about them a lot :> as of now it’s the black rider opera and tom waits’ music in general, the cabinet of dr. caligari, and the life and works of dmitri shostakovich (although that one isn’t as strong as it was a few years ago but if you get me going abt shostakovich I WILL get going)

so, the black rider!! it’s an avant garde opera by tom waits and william s burroughs and the music is. SO SO good. like if you liked over the garden wall but wish it had more demonic energy. you’ll like it. the plot is pretty simple; it’s a retelling of der freischütz, a previous opera by carl maria von weber (in turn based on a v old folk tale) where a guy sells his soul to the devil in exchange for magic bullets so he can win a shooting challenge and marry a forester’s daughter. which isn’t terribly interesting on its own, but MAN. robert wilson was the director of the black rider and the acting, set design, and costumes are AMAZING. every scene is hypnotic. and the music is SO SO good. it’s got this eclectic folk/rock/opera/cabaret/etc feel and the lyrics are genius?? most of them don’t even support the plot, but are rather there to set the tone. but they’re full of waits’ excellent poeticism and genius foreshadowing and callbacks, plus some references to his other work if you can pick up on that stuff. the whole thing has this dark fairy tale/halloween/carnival kinda vibe and I’ve seen it so many times

speaking of things with the same vibe. “caligari” was a big influence on the black rider, and GAH THIS MOVIE RUINED MY LIFE. I’m not even kidding I am a fundamentally different person than I was before I saw it for the first 10 times. again, it also has a pretty simple plot and characters, but what’s REALLY neat about it is all the ways you can interpret it. I can talk about it literally forever there are so many ways to read this movie. I’ve come up with so many headcanons and interpretations and stuff (and I also write fanfic. please someone read my caligari fanfic) and I’m chewing at the drywall I love coming up w ideas to complicate the characters and find new themes in it !!!

shostakovich is. this man is my roman empire. for like three or four years I dug in DEEP about everything to know about this guy because the discourse around him is INSANE. basically he was a soviet composer who’s primarily known for his complicated relationship with stalin’s government. but he was so so fucking interesting beyond that!!! he was such a fascinating guy who often went out of his way to help people in extreme political circumstances, and his music has so many interesting details hidden in it- cryptograms, quotations, references, some people think there are hidden messages about his personal life and his political views in there (the specifics are kinda controversial bc they’re mainly based in interpretation, but there definitely are a lot!!!). the debates around him are so complicated and I love researching him and trying to figure out the truth amid all the discourse, which is often wrapped up in ideological arguments and speculation. I fucking studied russian to intermediate level because of this guy (and also his best friend ivan sollertinsky. I LOVE reading about sollertinsky but info on him is so hard to find in english!!!) and soviet classical music history as a whole is such a nuanced and interesting subject to me

[bunchacrunchcake]

Dave Chapelle wrote the best trans joke I've ever heard. I say this as a trans author. He says for a trans woman (which I am,) no matter how much I augment my genitalia, it will never be a real vagina, even though it might look and feel just like the real thing. Then he says "Impossible pussy!" and slaps his knees. The camera cuts to a woman in the front row visibly upset and crying.

It's the perfect joke, its long, detailed, has cliff hangers, an edgy set up, and a really creative punch line that delivers social commentary both on trans vaginas and fake meat. It's masterful.

Chapelle says his one trans fan likes his jokes, so it's okay.

He says all oppression is not the same. He says he had to chew out a white women for letting her oppression take precedent over his as a black man in America.

The Black Panthers created the rainbow coalition specifically to guard against these divide and conquer tactics. The rainbow coalition spread to many countries, many races, creeds, religions, and genders. They aremed themselves because they knew the fight would be real, and dangerous. Black power, the Black Panther movement was about global unity and a drastic change in global power structures. Through COINTEL PRO and other efforts, the US Government played a large part in the assassination of leaders, downfall, and ultimate evisceration of the Black Panther Party which are now known as the Crips and Bloods.

They say you stop maturing the year you get famous. Chapelle I'm assuming stopped in his 20s because he seems, as a black person, to have missed the core message of BLM which is that our struggles are united and that if we don't shout BLACK TRANS LIVES MATTER from the rooftops and FREE PALESTINE during religious services, we are complicit in the racist system that Chappelle himself spent an entire hour on Inside the Actors Studio complaining about.

Black trans women are murdered at a higher rate than almost any part of the US population. Trans and queer people all across the globe are systematically murdered. Being trans and queer is illegal and punishable by death or prison in many countries. Women, white and non-white, are often preyed upon and trafficked for sex globally as well.

BLM is a critical part of global history as it allows us to unentangle the deep roots of the prison industrial complex as well as things like redlining, and white capitalism so that we can start the very, very long and arduous process of in some way equalizing the playing field for a group of people that had horrific things done to them for centuries at the hands of powerful leaders.

It is built into BLM that liberation for black people is liberation for all. Not that it comes at the cost of everyone's freedom. It is a revitalization of the Black Panther Party.

Dave did 3 specials about trans people. James Acaster says "Edgy comedians, no one tells them what they can and can't say. They walk on stage, do 10 solid minutes, slagging off transgender people. Straight out the gate, making fun of transgender people. If people get upset about it, they say "Bad luck! That's my job! I'm a stand up comedian! I like to challenge people! If you don't like being challenged! Don't come to my shows! What's the matter guys? Too challenging for ya?!" He rants and repeats that for a little while. And then he says "Oh yeah, you know who's been long overdue a challenge? The trans community. They've had their guard down for too long if you ask me. They'll be checking their privileged on the way home now thanks to you, you brave little cis boy. I used to say the name of that comedian and it made things really awkward. 2019, people still happy to laugh at trans people, not as comfortable laughing at, I've learned, Ricky Gervais."

Dave Chappelle, found his one trans fan (not even friend), and wasn't given, but TOOK our equivalent of the n-word pass from her.

N-word passes are not real. It's a joke you play on dumb white people. Basically you give a white kid "the pass" to see if they're dumb enough to say the n-word in front of other black people. Then you get to sit back and laugh as the entire room goes ballistic on them. "OH MY GOD REBECCA WALKED INTO CHEMISTRY AND SAID WHATS UP MY N****S TO THE WHOLE CLASS!"

One random person does not speak for the whole planet.

I have also heard many well crafted racist black, asian, and latino jokes. I do not tell them. Not because they're not funny. But because they are based off of stereotypes that don't actually represent the vastly diverse group of people in those communities. They also are usually an oppressive person's opinion of someone who is opressed. It is the literal definition of bullying.

Retelling prejudiced jokes actively causes harm to those people. It supports the propaganda surrounding those communities that let police justify extrajudicial murder, and it keeps the people thinking that when a cop shoots a black man for going for his wallet, it was because he was scary, not because the cop was racist.

That's why I don't tell racist jokes, even if they are "really good."

Also, stand up comedy can literally be about ANYTHING. Pete Davidson did a whole bit about deciding whether to fuck his mom. It wasn't funny. But here's the thing, it could have been.

He could have said "Well... I already stuck my head through it."

For every one lifetime trans fan Dave keeps, he loses thousands. We are shouting at you from the rooftops that you are harmful to our community and you are furthering racism, because you are assigning hierarchy to oppression and deciding who is and isn't allowed to be oppressed. Rich, white men are at the top of that power structure.

I laughed out loud when I heard that joke. And then I slowly realized that I couldn't ethically stomach watching Chapelle any more. I didn't even know I was trans then, but just as a human being I couldn't do it. People that lean into hate I just don't let into my circle anymore. Yes even masters of their craft.

[the-wales-5]

"Crazy for this girl" (Chapter 4)

November was shaping up to be a tiring time for everyone owing to next month's Martinmas semester exams. Aware of it William wanted to organise a party in October, to help everyone relax but also to make up for the few parties he had missed. He revealed his plans to a circle of friends he had gotten over the last few weeks while they were sitting in the dining hall.

“Will it be a costume party?!” Laura asked

“No, but I was thinking of a themed one, and the most popular thing these days is Harry Potter as I reckon so might be it” William said

“Sounds great, it’s a pity I am unable to be in two places simultaneously” Catherine sighed

“Why?” her friend Olivia Bleasdale asked.

“People from Rupert’s course are organising something on the same day, and he already confirmed our attendance. It is all planned weeks in advance. I'm sorry”

“A lawyers party full of snobbism instead of a Harry Potter themed one, that sounds fun” Fergus laughed sarcastically. Kate took a sip of orange juice “This is not my fault that he planned something, right?” She shrugged off.

Laura looked at William at the same moment as she asked “Is your girlfriend coming?”.

The prince had been meeting Carley Massy-Birch, and their relationship was well-known amongst his friends.

“She hasn't given me a direct reply yet, but I think she'll be there” he replied “Anyway, would 7 pm be the right time for a start?”

“Yes, but only if you want us to be drunk as hell by 9pm, Wills. Make it 8 pm at least” Fergus replied

“That way you’ll be drunk as hell by 10 pm” Catherine said, wanting to have revenge on him for his recent remarks about her boyfriend. Everyone burst into laughter.

“Stop making him feel embarrassed. Boyd knows the reality. He'll be drunk yet before the party starts” Olivia said, and that caused yet another wave of laughs.

“You can help me to write down the list of attendees” William said then

“But this is not a royal gathering, Wales”

The prince laughed and rolled his eyes in a playful way. “I just want to make sure that everyone who attends the party knows to address me as Steve. For security reasons. Stop teasing me and give me a pen instead”

“I haven't got one. They'll address you as Mr ‘writing names down without our consent’? Be careful. We may all boycott your social event before it even begins” Fergus joked again.

“I was about to write yours right now, but it looks like you are the first to be crossed out instead” William chuckled, got hit on the elbow from his friend, and then finally noted down several names on the paper with Catherine’s pen.

~

“Are you busy or going somewhere in particular now?” William asked her as soon as the rest of their friends left the table.

Middleton looked at the phone and noticed no response from Rupert to a text message that was sent by her yet in the morning.

“I thought that we could finally talk about the Raleigh expedition. For some reason, we had no time for that before”

“Some reason being endless hours of lectures” Catherine remarked, and William looked down, awaiting her final reply, assuming that it would be a negative one.

“Yes, sure. We can talk about it now” Catherine replied within seconds as she switched her phone off at the same time. “Share your experience first. You were there before me, right?” She smiled a little.

As it turned out, the Chile gap year was just the first of many topics they touched upon in a conversation that lasted for almost two hours until they decided to return to their rooms.

“It was so nice to talk and to think about something more than our classes, Kate”

“That was nice for me too," she said as she stared at William, who was slowly going upstairs to his room.

“I hope we'll continue this discussion soon” William said and vanished from Middleton's view. He smiled with his eyes closed, thinking how those few hours were so far one of the best times at St Andrews for him. “I need to give her that pen back finally” William thought when he noticed it in his pocket and slowly turned back. Right at that same time, Catherine saw Rupert on the other side of the hall. She was about to ask why he had been ignoring her text messages and felt ready to argue when she realised that he hid a huge bouquet of red roses behind himself and apologised for his behaviour. Catherine smiled and slowly kissed him on the lips. William had been staring at the scene between the two of them from a distance until Middleton closed her door.

*

“Do we really have to attend that party?” Kate asked her boyfriend while they were on a walk moments later.

“You had no objection to that before. Why do you ask now?” Rupert frowned a little

“Can’t you call it off and for once go somewhere with me?”

“I am often going out with you, Katie”

“I want to have fun yet before exams, not listen to boring conversations between you and other guys wearing a tie even though they're just 24!” she replied, a little bit louder

“Katie, stay calm, please. Now, all you show is that you are simply over-dramatic. Don't you remember? Raisin Weekend and foam fight had taken place not so long ago, and it was fun, wasn't it?”

“Indeed. The thing is, I just want you to think it all over, Rupert” she said, getting lost in her thoughts. She then simply carried on walking and looking at the early evening's sky from time to time.

***

Chapter 5

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

I have stopped screaming and crying and now I am just numb. I guess that is a bit of a breakthrough because normally I don't scream and cry at all until much later.

I think it's the autism I have always had a severely delayed reaction to things but this time it was so bad it just took me over.

I opened up Facebook to find that yet another friend of mine took his own life.

I am almost to the point that either I am losing count of the friends and relatives who have died by Suicide or I am just breaking down and blocking them all out.

That was my friend Ben. By the time I met him he was already in a relationship and so was I but we hung out a lot. We would send each other songs that we liked and I was really attracted to him. That is not a very good picture he was so much more handsome on his better days.

It's like meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife

The girl on my other side is his girlfriend Laura and they were together for years. Then I'm not sure what happened but suddenly they were not posting together on Facebook anymore and Ben was posting more and more rather scary sounding statuses.

He had told me that he had tried to kill himself several times. And I guess we bonded over that.

That was when we worked together. We were all friends his girlfriend, myself, and the music and art teacher who were married. One time they even made a band together and played gigs around town. It was because of them I found out about this awesome band called Murder Monroe. Those were truly the best times. Before covid happened and before the venue which was a coffee shop and music venue didn't survive the covid shutdown and went out of business.

Later on after he & Laura moved away he would put cryptic status on Facebook and I would message him and ask him if he wanted to talk and send him my favorite songs to try to comfort him.

He would always send me the same song back when he was in that mood. And it was kind of a song about how maybe if we had met in a different time things would be different.

Other times he would send me awesome videos of him playing guitar.

I drew this picture 5 years ago when I got a call telling me that one of my former students ---whom I was very close to --killed herself at the age of 13.

I still think it sums up exactly how I feel every time this happens.

I am so heartsick and just at a loss. We had not communicated since Christmas and he had only posted on Facebook of very few times with anything personal. The few times he did post it would be him saying how depressed he was and how he had no friends. And I would always message him and let him know he wasn't alone and ask if I could help and after a while he just didn't respond.

I'm glad he is no longer in pain but oh my God I just wish he could have hung in there.

I can't imagine what his ex-girlfriend is going through having been with him for nearly 10 years. She said in

her post that a few weeks ago he blocked her and then of course we find this out today.

Ben Benavides was a special ed teacher, a 4th/5th grade teacher. He was an introvert who was clinically depressed. He was a guitarist, he was a music fan, he was a great listener, he gave the best hugs, he felt things far more deeply than anyone else did.

He gave his all to his students to the point that he would nearly have nervous breakdowns over the stress of not being able to help them enough. He was a goth, he was a metalhead.

I didn't know him as long as most and yet he touched my life profoundly.

My dear Ben,

I am better for having known you and I am so pissed off that you left me and left this world.

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday who could hang a name on you when you change with every new day still I'm going to miss you.

[jessource]

sentence starters: emails i can’t send.

rp sentence starters from sabrina carpenter’s, emails i can’t send.  ( part one )

emails i can’t send.

“it’s times like these, wish i had a time machine.”

“at 10:15, were you really asleep?”

“were you lying to me and the family?”

“there’s no ‘us’ in us when i’m lackin’ trust.”

“you disgust me.”

“don’t make me cuss you out.”

“why’d you let me down?”

“don’t say sorry now.”

“thanks to you i, i can’t love right.”

“they’re havin’ sex right now.”

“scared i’ll find out that it’s true.”

“i blame you for every worst that i assume.”

“when i’m fourty-five, someone calls me their wife.”

“and (he/she/they) fucks our lives in one selfish night.”

“don’t think i’ll find forgiveness as fast as mom did.”

“god, i love you, but you’re such a dipshit.”

“please fuckin’ fix this.”

“you were all i looked up to.”

“now i can’t even look at you.”

“i mean, as they say in chicago, ‘he had it comin’.”

vicious.

“one year, ten thousand bad moments.”

“i tried to look for the best in the worst. but like, fuck me, that caused a commotion.”

“you’re lucky i’m a private person.”

“i’ve quietly carried your burden.”

“everyone thinks you’re an angel, but shit i would probably use different wording.”

“you’re so vicious. love me, then pretend you didn’t.”

“why you gotta be so vicious?”

“crush my heart and wreck my image.”

“you like a certain type of woman.”

“you just run to whoever is winning.”

“it was me and you for life, now you’re kinda acting like i died.”

“love me, then pretend you didnt.”

“half of me just can’t resist it.”

“you don’t feel remorse, you don’t feel the effects.”

“you don’t think you hurt me if you wish me the best.”

“i shoulda known all along, i was only the next one.”

“i loved you but i wish i didn’t.”

read your mind.

“you gotta be lonely.”

“say it’s hard, but you make it look easy.”

“i’m trying to live in reality.”

“tryna ease the tension.”

“you got me stressing.”

“tell me that you miss me in your life.”

“i can’t read your mind.”

“you say that you need to be alone. but night and day want me at your beck and call.”

“you might be crossing a line.”

“wasting all our time to think that we could be casual.”

“you’re not my friend.”

“why the fuss if you say you just wanna be mine?”

“tell me what’s gonna happen when it’s you and me in a room but you know you can’t have it.”

“i’ll be laughing when you say you really have changed.”

“did i get the message in the way you intended?”

tornado warnings.

“we were never in the park.”

“ignoring tornado warnings.”

“he didn’t hold me in his arms.”

“we didn’t stumble over the pages of our relationship arc.”

“i want you there sometimes.”

“i guess maybe that’s why i’m lying to my therapist.”

“i keep saying things like, ‘i never saw him and we never kisssed.’”

“if he doesn’t see it, then maybe it doesn’t exist.”

“i think he’s onto me.”

“i deserve an hour in a week to focus on my thoughts not so obsessed with yours. i can’t hear myself speak.”

“sometimes i wish i kept some of my feelings in the basement so i’d still have some left.”

“you drive me crazy.”

“that’s not gonna stop me.”

“you call me ‘baby’”

because i liked a boy.

“i said i wanted thin mints.”

“you said you knew a guy.”

“stars in your eyes.”

“who knew cuddling on trampolines could be so reckless.”

“we bonded over black eyed peas and complicated exes.”

“fell so deeply into it. it was all so innocent.”

“now i’m a homewrecker.”

“i’m a slut.”

“i got death threats fillin’ up semi-trucks.”

“all because i liked—”

“i’m the hot topic on your tongue.”

“i’m a rebound.”

“tell me who i am.”

“guess i don’t have a choice.”

“all because i liked a boy.”

“i’m not catastrophizing.”

“everything’s derailing.”

“was only trynna hold you close while your heart was failing.”

“just two kids going through it.”

“you said i’m too late to be your first love.”

“but i’ll always be your favourite.”

“no, i wouldn’t recommend it.”

already over.

“we been talkin' for hours ‘bout how we shouldn’t talk for hours on end.”

“kissin’ after a conversation about how we’d probably be better off as friends.”

“same time here next weekend.”

“say we won’t do this again.”

“i say i’m done, but i’m still confused.”

“how am i supposed to close the door when i still need the closure?”

“i changed my mind.”

“but it’s still on you.”

“how am i supposed to leave you now that you’re already over?”

“selfishly, don’t wanna give you time to be on someone else’s lips.”

“i’ll take three short hours over three long weeks.”

“pretendin’ like we don’t exist.”

“i like my bed, but it likes you too.”

[lovingthereign25]

Fight for me 🤍

Part 1.

Fight, Fight, Fight that's all my husband and I have been doing for months. Joe and I have been married for almost 10 years, in that time we had arguments but never as bad as it's been the last year. We've been separated for about 5 months now and have made zero progress. As much as it kills me to say it, I think it's best if we get  a divorce.

Joe was on his way to bring our kids back for a weekend with him. I waited on the porch until I saw his car pull up. Our two girls get out of the car running to me while he gets our son out of the car seat. 

"Mama, I missed you"  our youngest daughter Karsyn smiles running into my arms.

" I missed you too my sweet baby" I kiss her head 

"Teo is over tired, didn't nap today" Joe says handing me our 1 year old.

" You have a package from C4 Energy" I say

"Thanks" he says following me into the house.

 "Ryanne and Karsyn take your bags up to your rooms please" Joe says to the girls.

 "Since the girls are upstairs can we talk in private for a minute?" I ask 

" What's up? " He asks, picking up Mateo who was following his daddy with his arms up .

"I've been thinking since it's been months we've been separated and no progress to work it out has been made, if maybe we should just put an end to it and finally go our separate ways." I say 

"Like what a divorce?" He asks cocking an eyebrow

" Yea I mean unless you think we can work this out  I mean I was hoping we could but Joe it's been 5 months!" I say

"If that's what you think is best then fine, we'll work something out with the kids" he finally says after a few minutes of silence

" Joe…" I start but am cut off by him

"Here bud go to Mama, Daddy has to go" he says handing me our son.

A few days later was a really big event for Joe. SummerSlam Joe or should I say "Roman Reigns" was the WWE undisputed champion and was facing Brock Lesnar which I always hated personally as his wife I feel like they've fought enough Brock was known to not follow rules in the ring and would end up hurting people. Anyway I flew to Nashville with my  best friend to help with the kids. Even though Joe and I have been separated for months no one knew about it besides our immediate family so when I go to these events we pretend everything is perfect.

I had a love hate relationship with coming to these events because as much as i loved seeing all  friends it made me miss being in the ring. I was sitting on some crates backstage talking to Bianca and her husband Montez and our friend Angelo. 

“Have you ever thought about coming back?” Montez asks

“Yea a lot actually” i admit 

“So what’s stopping you ?” Angelo asks

“As much as i love wrestling i love being a mom a hundred times more” i smile 

“Girl, you can do both Becky does it, Marsye does it, You got this “ Bianca says.

I find Joe in his locker room getting ready for his match.

“Hey, there you are , Where have you been?” he asks

“Just catching up, You okay?’’ i ask

“Yea, ready to be done with these matches with Brock honestly, after six or seven times it starting to kill me” he says 

“I know, i remember the toll it takes on your body, not to mention the injuries that comes with facing him and him doing whatever the hell he wants, it scares me every time you get in the ring with him” i say

“ I know , Y/n …” he starts but is interrupted by Paul telling us they are ready for him in the gorilla.

“Be safe. Please. “ i smile grabbing his hand 

“I'll do my best”he smirks, squeezing my hand . 

As i sat in the back watching what i think was the most brutal match between Joe and Brock Stepahnie Machon comes over to me 

“Y/n, what do you think of being on Smackdown this week?’ she asks 

“I’d love to. Can I ask why?’ i smile looking form the tv in the back to Steph quick

“Well lets just say we a superstar  supposed to send your Roman  a message, so i wanna get you in there for a good reaction ’ she says 

“Absolutely, i'll be there” i smile 

Looking up just in time to see Joe get the win over Brock in the Last Man Standing match.

“That's your man!” Stephanie smiles 

“ He sure is “ I smile back lying through my teeth.

Being at Smackdown was always a good time, usually I had the kids so everyone would be gushing over how cute they are, or how much they looked like Joe and I . 

My sister flew in to help with the kids which was such a relief. She took the kids back to the hotel before the actual show started.

I still didn't know what superstar was gonna return to send a message but I followed Jimmy,Jey and Joe to the gorilla waiting for our que to walk out

"Nervous?"Joe whispers 

"Never" I wink 

The music hits and we get our que to walk out. Joe stops so he can do his little pose with his belts. He looks over to me, smirks gives me a wink and we continue down the ramp Joe taking my hand in his for show.

Joe was talking about SummerSlam when Drew's music hit as Drew was about to come to the ring the light went low and what looked like a woman was standing at the top of the ramp, then all of sudden someone attacked Drew. It was Karian Kross a guy from NXT next thing I know Scarlett was at the bottom of the ring eyes on Joe, I step in front of Joe, Jimmy and Jey her eyes met mine as she place an hourglass in the ring

"If you know what's good for you I'd suggest you back the hell up" I say with no mic but loud enough for her to hear. She smirks, flips the hourglass and backs up.

After we head back stage Joe  was stopped by Triple H so Jimmy and Jey lead me to the locker room

"From what I saw out there it looks like you still got feelings for uce" Jey says bumping his shoulder into mine.

"Yea…well shut up" I smile 

"I knew it . You do .Man why y'all act like you don't though shit don't make sense" he says

Joe came in before I could answer

"Come on Jey let's go back up" Jimmy says leaving Joe and I alone.

"So how do you feel about Karion's message?" I ask

" I think the real question is how do you feel about Scarlett" he says 

" I don't feel anything as a long as she know her place and stays there"I shrug

I turned around to face Joe and was caught off guard by a kiss. 

[the-rewatch-rewind]

The most underrated 1980s teen movie

Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies in a 20-year period. Today I will be discussing number 10 on my list: Embassy Pictures and Monument Pictures’ 1985 adventure romantic comedy The Sure Thing, directed by Rob Reiner, written by Steve Bloom and Jonathan Roberts, and starring John Cusack and Daphne Zuniga.

In his first term at a small northeastern college, Walter Gibson (known as “Gib”, played by John Cusack) is frustrated with his sex life, or rather, lack thereof. So when his high school best friend Lance (Anthony Edwards) sends him a picture from UCLA of a beautiful woman (Nicollette Sheridan) and promises that she’s a “sure thing” – no questions asked, no strings attached, no guilt involved – Gib takes the first ride he can find to California for winter break, even though that means traveling with Alison Bradbury (Daphne Zuniga), who has already rejected his underhanded advances and is on her way to visit her boyfriend (Boyd Gaines). Gib and Alison’s constant fighting finally pushes the driver (“Gary Cooper, but not the Gary Cooper that’s dead,” played by Tim Robbins) to abandon them on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, and they are forced to find their own way to LA. Their adventures prompt them both to learn from each other and start to change for the better.

I remember not being very interested in this movie when my mom first got it from the library, and her really having to talk me into watching it. I think I was pleasantly surprised the first time, but it wasn’t until I rewatched it a couple years later that I truly appreciated it and became kind of obsessed for a while. I saw it for the first time in 2004, then eight times in 2006, three times in 2007, once in 2009, three times in 2010, once in 2011, once in 2012, once in 2013, once in 2015, once in 2016, twice in 2019, and twice in 2022. I would have watched it more in recent years, but for a while I only had it on VHS (my sister’s had it on DVD for several years but since we don’t live near each other I don’t have many options to watch her copy, so I did finally get my own DVD of it last year) and it’s very rarely available on streaming services. There was a major boom of teen movies in the 1980s, many of which are still considered classics now, but hardly anybody ever talks about The Sure Thing, and I have no idea why because it is truly delightful.

Most of the people involved in this movie were just starting their careers. Rob Reiner had only directed one movie (This is Spinal Tap) prior to this, and it was both writers’ first feature film, and it was John Cusack’s first starring role. So The Sure Thing has the charms of a low-budget project that everybody’s making because they want to, not because they think they’re going to get rich and famous from it, with the added bonus that many of the actors did become rich and famous later, so you can watch it and go, “Oh look, it’s Dr. Mark Greene from ER back when he had hair” or “Wow, is that a very young Tim Robbins?” But even if none of them had made anything else, this would still be a fun movie to watch because the writing and acting are incredible, especially when it comes to the two main characters’ arcs.

I know the dynamic of a buttoned-down, over-organized control freak paired with a spontaneous, go-with-the-flow goofball has been done to death, but no movie does it better than The Sure Thing. The characters of Gib and Alison are so well developed that they feel like real people rather than a tired trope. Even though it’s fairly obvious from the moment Alison enters the story that she and Gib are ultimately going to end up together, their journey toward that predictable conclusion is never dull. Part of that is because of the obstacles they encounter on their journey across the country, but the main reason is because they were perfectly cast. Apparently both John Cusack and Daphne Zuniga were a lot like their respective characters at the time and therefore brought a lot of themselves to their roles. The whole “shotgunning a beer” bit was added because Cusack mentioned that was something he could do, and that became an important way to show the evolution of their characters and relationship. Initially, Rob Reiner didn’t even want to consider Cusack for the part of Gib because he was a minor, but the casting directors talked him into giving the then 16-year-old a chance, and Cusack’s audition convinced the director that he was the perfect Gib. Producer Roger Birnbaum went to court to have John Cusack emancipated and served as his legal guardian during filming. It is a little uncomfortable to know that Cusack was only 17 at the time of filming while his love interests were 20 and 21 – like, I know the age gap is only a few years, but he was technically a minor and they were technically adults, although their characters were all meant to be 18 or 19, so it’s not like the movie is promoting inappropriate relationships. Yes, it definitely would have been better to cast someone who was over 18, but at the same time, John Cusack does such an incredible job playing this character that I totally understand why they went ahead and cast him anyway. He plays Gib with the perfect balance of kind of a jerk but still kind of sweet that keeps the audience rooting for him while still criticizing his bad behavior. And the way he and Zuniga play off each other is endlessly compelling.

One of my favorite scenes, not just in this movie but in any movie, is after Gib and Alison have been kicked out of the car and accidentally left all their cash in a hotel room, and they’re sitting on the side of a deserted road at night hoping to hitch a ride. Alison finds a stick of gum in her purse, unwraps it, and the second she’s about to put it in her mouth, Gib says, “I’m starving.” So Alison dutifully breaks the gum in half and splits it with him. Then he starts listing other complaints until she can’t take it anymore and snaps, “Can’t you try to look on the bright side?” which of course is the sky’s cue to start pouring rain. In their desperate search for shelter, they find a trailer, but there’s a padlock on the door. Gib starts frantically pounding at the lock, and Alison thinks she might have a nail file in her purse, so she starts searching, and suddenly finds something much better. She tells Gib, “I have a credit card!” He’s so focused on getting into the trailer that at first he doesn’t understand the implications of what she said, and his immediate response is, “Credit cards work on a completely different kind of lock!” And Alison says, “I don’t think you understand: I have a credit card!” “You have a credit card?” “I have a credit card.” “You have a credit card.” And then her face falls as she remembers: “Oh. My dad told me specifically that I can only use it in case of an emergency.” And he just looks at her, soaked from the pouring rain, and deadpans, “Well, maybe one will come up.” And it’s just…so good. The comedic timing between the two of them is utter perfection.

And they’re also very good at having serious moments together. Like right after that scene, when they’re in a fancy restaurant because it was the only place they could find that would take a credit card – oh how times have changed – Gib opens up about where his interest in outer space came from. Earlier in the movie, both with Alison and with other girls, he’s tried to use his knowledge of space and astronomy to impress/seduce women – not very effectively – but here he’s being vulnerable and genuine, and Alison’s reactions show that she recognizes and appreciates that. And then when they finally get to LA and separate, they both do such a great job of showing how much they have changed, while still remaining true to who their characters have been from the beginning. Alison starts to realize that her boyfriend Jason, whose idea of a good time is staying home, playing cards, and admiring the special hangers and flannel sheets, is not nearly as fun to be around as Gib. And after making such a deep personal connection with Alison, Gib starts to question whether an emotionless sexual encounter with the Sure Thing is really what he’s looking for. Neither of them say these things in so many words, but they make it abundantly clear how they’re feeling, and it’s very rewarding as an audience member to see the characters we’ve become so invested in reach that point in their journeys. But they’re also very mad at each other, mostly because they’ve fallen for each other against their will, and it isn’t until they somehow get back to the east coast (we never see how that happens, but I guess it’s not important) that they resolve this tension. And the way they reconcile through a paper that Gib has their English professor (played by Viveca Lindfors) read to the class is an amazing way end the movie. So basically, this is a story about two very well-written, perfectly cast characters who go on an extremely satisfying journey that is just as fun to watch the 20th time as the first.

Now, if you’ve listened to other episodes, or even just read the description of this podcast, you might be a little confused right now. “But Jane,” I can imagine you thinking, “Aren’t you aromantic and asexual? Isn’t this movie all about a character pursuing sex, and then coming to the very amatonormative conclusion that he should commit romantically and sexually to the one person he’s had an emotional connection with? Why would a movie like that be in your top 10?” And you know, those are fair questions. They’re the kinds of questions I asked myself a few years ago, when I suspected I might be aroace but wasn’t completely convinced. And an important step on my path to recognizing that that label truly described me was when I realized that I appreciate this movie from a very aroace perspective. For one thing, it always irked me that the movie ends with Gib and Alison kissing. “Why can’t they end up as friends?” my obliviously aromantic teenage self would lament during the years when I was watching this movie the most. But on the other hand, I had always appreciated the message that forming a genuine emotional connection with someone is more fulfilling than casual hookups with people you’ve lied to and manipulated to get them to sleep with you. So I liked the part about “sex isn’t actually the end all be all of human experience” but I disliked that the conclusion was “but finding a romantic partner is” – could there be a more aroace response to this movie?

And as I thought about it even more, I realized that, even though I’m positive that this was not the intention of any of the filmmakers, there is a way to interpret the character of Gib as being on the asexual spectrum. In the first half of the movie, he does appear to be in constant pursuit of sex, at least at first glance, but a lot of his attempts are kind of halfhearted. You get the feeling that he wants to be able to say he’s slept with a lot of people because his friends and society tell him that’s what will make him cool. He seems a lot happier and more comfortable when he’s stopped trying to seduce Alison, and ultimately, even though the Sure Thing is definitely willing to sleep with him, he decides he doesn’t want that anymore, despite having travelled across the country specifically to have sex with her. Obviously, there are a lot of different conclusions that could be drawn from this. I think a big one is that people who are socialized as boys, regardless of whether they’re asexual or not, are often given a very toxic and unhealthy message about what their sex lives should be like, including the idea that women are objects to be tricked into providing momentary pleasure, and that having lots of sex is what makes you a real man. So it’s rather refreshing to see a coming of age story that shows a young man maturing by actively choosing not to have sex with a woman who is given no name, and is only identified by her willingness to put out. And in some ways I don’t want to encourage the headcanon that Gib is asexual because I think it’s important to show that allosexual men are allowed to say “no” when it doesn’t feel right, and that that doesn’t make them less of a man. But I also think the disconnect between how Gib is expected to feel about the Sure Thing and how he actually feels when he meets her is very relatable to asexual people. Society’s messages about how “normal” people feel about sex and sexual attraction are very confusing to people who don’t feel that way. And I guess what this movie is trying to say is that some of those messages don’t apply even to allosexual people. I just wish it didn’t perpetuate the amatonormative message that sex and romance are vital aspects of the most important relationship in everyone’s lives. In the story that Gib writes to reveal to Alison that he didn’t sleep with the Sure Thing, he reveals that she asked, “Do you love me?” and that for the first time in his life, he knew that those were more than just words, and that if he said it, it would be a lie, so he said no and left. And again, part of that feels very amatonormative, but at the same time, the whole idea of being true to yourself and honest with any prospective partners is a good message for people of all romantic and sexual orientations.

I still hope to find a movie about a journey like this in which the leading man and woman explicitly end up as friends (let me know if you’re aware of one), but I can almost be content imagining that soon after the events of this movie, Gib and Alison realize that they don’t actually like kissing each other but remain BFFs. Hey, it could happen! But that was definitely not the intent, and if you like cute 80s teen romance movies, The Sure Thing is definitely one to check out – if you can track it down. Don’t let my weird aromantic headcanon ruin your appreciation for this romance. I’m not saying this movie was made for aroace people by any means; my point is that realizing I was enjoying this movie in a very aroace way helped me come to the conclusion that I am aroace. And it’s also a great movie aside from all that, as one would expect from this director and cast.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most frequently rewatched films. The Sure Thing was the only movie I watched exactly 26 times in the 20 years I was tracking, and I didn’t watch any exactly 27 times, so next week I will be talking about the movie I watched 28 times, which is widely – and extremely incorrectly – regarded as one of the worst movies ever made. So that should be a fun episode. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “Forget ‘herb.’ I never heard of a hit that had the word ‘herb’ in it.”