#one more example of why IVF is horrible

[cultivating-wildflowers]

Krystena Murray, 38, of Savannah, said she selected a sperm donor who looked like her "with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes." She became pregnant and delivered a baby in December 2023, according to the lawsuit. However, Murray, who is white and who, according to the complaint, had a white sperm donor, was shocked when she gave birth and the baby boy she delivered was African American, the suit states. Murray bonded with the baby and wanted to keep him, despite knowing that the clinic, Coastal Fertility Specialists (CFS), had likely implanted somebody else's embryo, according to the lawsuit.

In addition to being forced to give up the baby she carried for nine months, delivered, and raised for the first five months of his life*, this mother doesn't know what happened to her own embryo. Her own biological child could be out there and she may never know. She just turned around and started the process all over again.

*I'm not mad at the biological parents for claiming their child. It's a garbage situation all around. I do wish there could have been an easier resolution for everyone, though.

[vmures]

Learning to live with uncertainty is important

I've been thinking about "discourse" lately. I use quotes because often what I see online isn't an actual conversation, which is what the word discourse implies, but people shouting at each other. Arguments on one side or another are often in bad faith and there is no openness to other points of view. And I've been thinking about why that is. I think the biggest part of the problem is the allure of bright-line rules.

Bright-line rules is a term used in the legal world and can be defined as follows: "A bright-line rule is an objective rule that resolves legal questions in a straightforward, predictable manner." These are rules where a thing is always right or a thing is always wrong. There is no room for interpretation or nuance. And they are alluring because they are easy and uncomplicated.

However, the world is very, very complicated, and using bright-line rules for everything means that sometimes the wrong party faces punishment. The example given in the link above is of a bright-line rule used in auto insurance. The car with the front damage is the one responsible for the accident. But using that rule and having no room for nuance means that if Driver A backs into Driver B, Driver B will be the one considered at fault despite not actually being at fault.

There are times where as a culture we decide that such bright-line rules are worth it, even if occasionally someone will be punished who might not deserve to be. But a huge problem arises when we decide that all things should be treated as bright-line rules. Because we stop thinking--we don't consider all the facts in a situation or all the consequences of the rule/law. One example of not considering the consequences of a broadly written bright-line anti-abortion rule is that many doctors in states that have enacted such rules are worried that providing IVF treatment because the unused fertilized eggs are often destroyed and that would be considered abortion under the law.

And when you apply this sort of thinking to cultural discourse, you get situations where someone hears "rainbow capitalism is evil" and decides that they should then inform a queer person selling their own art/merch during Pride that they shouldn't do that. That person isn't a horrible person, but they are misunderstanding "rainbow capitalism" as a concept. It isn't a bright-line rule that all sales of Pride merchandise are evil. But if you don't know the history of how corporations have generally treated the LGBTQUIA+ community, and how frustrating it is to see them add surface-level support of us now that they know they can make money off of us, then you might interpret the concept as a bright-line rule. It is even more likely you will interpret it as such if you already have a habit of thinking in very black-and-white terms.

It's so very tempting to want easy answers and clear "this is always right" and "this is always wrong" ideologies. But it's dangerous. You can end up harming the communities you want to support. One of the hardest parts of law school is learning to live with a certain level of uncertainty. If you ask any lawyer, or even former law student, if something is legal chances are high that the response you get will be "it depends." Because ultimately whether something is legal or not depends on the facts of the case. A litigator's job is to show that the facts of the case support their stance and not the other side's stance. But they also have to understand what facts support the other side's arguments. You then leave it to the judge and/or jury to decide who has the stronger case. It's rarely cut and dry.

Uncertainty isn't comfortable. Struggling with complex issues isn't comfortable. But you connect far better with your fellow humans and are more likely to be a fair and kind person if you are open to uncertainty. If you are willing to listen to all the facts and opinions and actually consider them.

When it comes to discourse online...well, that openness only helps if it goes both ways. If one side is engaging in good faith and open to considering the other's point of view and the other side is just looking to call them names and tell them they should die...well, that's not true discourse or helpful discussion. It's bullying hidden behind ideology. And ultimately, that is where insisting on nothing but bright-line rules leads.

[jack-bytez-genuine-corner]

I hate being politically knowledgeable so I'll give some real quick off the cuff reasons why you shouldn't doom scroll but should be a little hopeful and stay engaged, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take a break over long periods, I'm basically just laying out some potentials for why you should be joyful towards 2026.

* 2/3rds of government would be needed to enact a large chunk of Project 2025 not counting outright SCOTUS intervention. This matters as for the SCOTUS to even exist as an institution Trump can never be more powerful than they are, putting their interests square opposite of Trump's want to be a dictator. Similarly the business wall street interests that propelled Trump to this point will be facing the harsh realities of an unstable economy long before anything even happens. As Trump becomes more unglued he will lash out more and more which will put Wallstreet, that only wanted him for the immediate sell off we're seeing now, pressed between a dictator wannabe's wishes and a US that is even more isolated from it's allies and trade partners while the citizenry themselves are forced to buckle down due to the very little high tariffs that will double the price of everyday goods forcing companies to either drastically drop prices and sell at a loss or keep prices high like they are now and push it off on the consumer who will buy infinitely less as a result. The most scary part of the Republican agenda is a deck of cards that falls over predicated entirely on Republicans ability to maintain the balance between worshipping corporations and keeping the peons angry and content enough to not strike out.

* 2026 is an inevitable Dem flip for 2 reasons. 1, people will actually live with Trump again and will remember exactly why so many people found him unpalatable in the first place. You can also be sure that any RNC mandate to ban say "Porn", that being anything queer or woman health centric, IVF, Abortion and the rolling back of social safety nets will inevitably cause innocent people to die and shell shock the exact same people who voted for him this time around. After all it's incredibly hard to be Latino, MAGA and happy when your own elected officials hate your guts and very real people you know are being deported in one of the most expensive and brutal moves in American history, rivaling Asian internment camps. 2, none of this is predicted on Trump doing anything more than what he already has promised to do and it is not reliant on Republicans being actual, considerate human beings. Even looking at the vote currently lots of voters chose the couch over voting for Harris with Trump propelling his margins in large part due to Fox News, Rogan, Musk, etc. Dems for their part can just play the fact he is killing any indictments against him, can play the populous card as blue dog conservative l institualist Dems is more dead than ever before and actually focus on the issues that get Dems out to vote, and any and every gaff is just going to be free fuel for Dems. Even more, legacy media has effectively scorned more and more Americans who are now engaging alternative media sources like Brian Tyler Cohen alongside other podsters. I include him specifically due to his high quality but you have the Pod Save America guys, you have The Bulwark, all the way to the obvious loony bin manosphere with the first three being examples of HOW Dems can appeal and win future races while the last one is a highlight of a soon to be burned content mill, most notably because, again, it's going to be real hard to hate women that much when women you know and love have to suffer for no reason. You can also guarantee that the worse parts of Trump's base can and will be reinvigorated to be horrible people which is, again, part of why he lost in 2020 to begin with.

* I mentioned Wallstreet, courts and businesses earlier but it is no secret that the incompetency in each of these places is seeping through to a pretty forceful change towards unions, but even past that they have hit the point where they are the dog who caught the speeding car. Taking the business interests first, consumers have become more and more direct with their connection with businesses not being predicated on convenience nor price but on morality. When Target and Bud Light caved to altright extremists who believe the very idea that different people shouldn't be allowed to exist that opened up a Pandora's box that has seen Target and Bud Light continue to lose business, not because Republicans were their core base, but because the common person believes that queer people are acceptable while treating them as second class is not acceptable. Tesla and Musk are on the up in the stock market but the reality is that Tesla itself has been seeing less and less sales vs 100% tariff Chinese EV's due to Musk's extremism. The immediate bump they're seeing now is great for the current rot economy where infinite growth is the only acceptable outcome for investors, but there is absolutely a potential for these companies to scorn so many people that they become persona non grata and can't continue to operate. We've seen the same thing with anti DEI measures and book bans leading to less teachers and schools, abortion bans leading to less workers period, you combo that with the guaranteed hyper inflation the tarriffs will cause and the financial strife we're looking at an economic down turn that a golden parachute can't save you from, mostly because the people themselves will want a lot more than they were demanding prior. For Courts, the overturning of the Chevron decision, combo'd with the historically low effort supreme court means that more and more laws are becoming impossible to enforce, requiring constant SCOTUS intervention, but if that keeps up like we are already seeing it do so the courts will become paralyzed and cause unrest that we have not seen before, again, as the stalling tactics they used to save Trump will now be the reason for people to be subjected to unjust laws waiting on appeal. The SCOTUS, for their part, is guaranteed to be Republican majority who can and will overstep yet again like they did with Roe, but they can't cede power fully to Republicans/Trump because if they do they will cease to have any power, because dictators don't need a court because they are the court. This tightrope means that any dissent is very likely going to cause these current supporters of the RNC being forced to buck the current support they give. This will be made even worse for them when inevitably Trump pardons January 6th insurrectionists, his cronies and himself, reigniting the heated eyes on the courts without the safety net of Dem institutionalists who will likely lose all power following the collapse of the Harris and Biden campaign. Reminder that it was a nigh gift to Republicans that Biden appointed Merrick Garland, a feckless, cowardly institutionalist himself that was so scared of Republican name calling he refused to actually try and charge Republicans WE KNOW we're involved with the insurrection in order to seem nonpartisan, the miscalculation is that there will BE no more feckless conservative Dem institutionalists as the main two are no longer in the running for leadership with Obama and Clinton having now burned every perceivable bridge to guide the party. I won't say this will lead to a Bernie progressive party, but it will absolutely be more populist and you're going to see way less outreach to Republicans and far more to actual voters who actually matter. Republicans win on low turnout, this was a low turnout election, and NOTHING increases turnout like rage, and honestly? American Dems have a lot more to be angry about that Republicans at this point given the complete and total failure of every single institution meant to act as a check on the President and Political officials.

* The only bill Republicans could pass among themselves was a tax cut for the rich from 2016 to 2018, with a lot of their "Accomplishments" being pen and paper executive orders which are just as easily made as they are broken. Their current R House Congress is one of the least productive in history. Do you truly believe they can actually pull off any dangerous bills or constitutional amendments without absolutely fucking themselves over, especially now that McConnell is out of the picture in Senate and any competent Republican in the House like Cheey, the only person who was capable of getting Republicans the SCOTUS and the only person capable of pretending the party has any morals? The answer is they can't. I have no doubts they'll pass some horrible shit, but will they have to kill the filibuster? Will they have a house majority? If they have a house majority by how much and will they play nice long enough among themselves to pass the bills? After all Gaetz and other MAGA Republicans are not popular among their cowardly peers and their cowardly peers have bucked them before. If you ask me I don't think they can. The most dangerous things they can do involve federal agencies and state governments, but if they do those dangerous things it'll piss people off and we'll go right back to the original point that a pissed off population will be extra bad for Republicans due to the fact that institutionalist Dems are now completely out of favor.

Long worded way to say that you can be hopeful for the midterms. I know this country seems like a horrible place filled with horrible people, cause it is, but that doesn't mean horrible people out number people who care about trans people, queer people, women, POC, etc. The issue is getting those people to vote and not just sit on the couch and it also lies in actively talking the insane Republicans back into reality, a thing they desperately don't want to do thanks to Fox News and Republican media sources. I'm hopeful for 2026, I'm just extremely angry that very real, very innocent people who didn't have to die, who weren't going to die, will, because too many people would rather they die than a Black Asian woman be President. Like I can't even begin to state my disgust that we're back at 2016 again, but like with 2018, 2026 will not go well for Republicans who, even in this election were doing worse among the exact same demographics they had in 2016. A rural vote may be worth 100 votes where I live, but make no mistake that they can and will feel the squeeze that they brought upon themselves, and hopefully they'll learn this time. And if they don't, well, I hold the same common courtesy I do for Nazis; I won't even piss on them if they are fire, cause you can't keep hurting innocent people and expect infinite kindness in return.

[wingletblackbird]

I appreciate your nuanced and respectful anti-abortion post, and I want to raise a question that you didn't address. How do you regard medication abortions, which account for about 30% of abortions and can be performed extremely early? Your argument about fetal life wouldn't seem to apply as well at three or four weeks gestation. I'm not trying to pick a fight, just genuinely curious.

Don’t worry I don’t think you’re trying to pick a fight. I can dialogue with anyone on any subject really, so long as we’re both willing to listen and be respectful, even be willing to change our minds if we are exposed to something we hadn’t considered. I actually, generally, quite enjoy a good discussion. ;) I also am a firm believer that as long as you’re sincere, there is no such things as a bad question. I appreciate the ask, and I’m glad you felt my original post was respectful. I was worried about setting the wrong tone.

(On that note, before I get into this, I really want to make sure I make it clear I don’t think women who have abortions are any better or worse than anybody else. I don’t think most people who are pro-choice are bad people either–No more than the rest of us anyway. 1 in 4 people or so in the States, iirc, will have an abortion. It’s ludicrous to suppose they are all horrible people, or that their supporters are. I cannot know what women feel like going into those clinics, but I am given to understand that helpless, panicked, and desperate are common emotions, and if you are not given the proper support, or information, it is hard to make good decisions like that. Beyond even that, people make mistakes. I am not here to judge them, and if any woman is struggling post-abortion, I would say there is forgiveness, and redemption, and support out there for you.) 

You’re right; I barely touched on the issue of medication abortions. I felt the post was already longer than most people would care for anyway. Before I get into why I oppose those too, I should stress first that by the time most people know they’re pregnant there will already be a heartbeat, and likely discernible brain waves. Ergo, I think it would be rare that it wouldn’t be blindingly obvious you were dealing with a young child, even without the further evidence I am about to offer that life begins at feritilistaion. To offer a personal example, when my parents were trying to conceive my brother and I, my mom was very in tune with her natural cycles. She always knew when she was ovulating from the left side because she could feel a twinge in her lower  back, so she and my dad were able to conceive by brother and I on just the one attempt. Likewise, within a couple weeks after my conception, my mom knew she was pregnant even when it was too early for it to even be detectable by a pregnancy test, so she went to the hospital and asked for a blood test which confirmed she was pregnant. Then she and my dad went to get an ultrasound, and discovered my heart was already beating. That was when my dad went from pro-choice to pro-life, because he realised even at such an early stage, before it could easily be detected, I was alive!

But, of course, what if you have unprotected sex, or for whatever reason you have cause to believe that you could be pregnant really, really early? You’ve pretty much asked for an abortion from the first moment you could possible be considered pregnant. Even then I would say that this is wrong. The child is still a legitimate human being. There is overwhelming scientific consensus on this: Life begins at conception. 

First of all, we know that from the moment of conception the individual is alive. They have all the characteristics of a living entity. Cells are the smallest form of life. That is one of the basics of cell theory and biology. Moreover, once fertilization occurs they are the offspring of two humans, and they are humans genetically. Perhaps most importantly they are human organisms. They are not merely masses of tissue, or clumps of cells, because body cells do not have the capacity to grow, and change, and develop the way that an organism does. This is why sperm cells, egg cells, muscle tissue etc. do not have rights, while the human organism does. The zygote, blastocyst, embryo, fetus, infant, toddler, child, pre-teen, teenager, and adult are all humans in different stages of development, and each is as valid as the other. Furthermore, it is expected in our society to protect the most vulnerable of us such as children. To not do so is considered terrible, even monstrous, except when it comes to those who are developing in-utero. This makes no sense to me. Life begins at fertilisation, and if allowed to grow over the course of a couple decades, results into a fully mature adult of our species. This is the scientific evidence. To terminate that development is to kill the youngest of our kind, to deny them to right to continue to grow and learn and change. You would think every stage of human life from the zygote to the senior citizen would be equally as valuable. However, in the interests of profit and convenience, they are not. (Frankly, this applies to many seniors who are mistreated as well, and aren’t granted the respect and dignity they deserve.)

If you look at embryology textbooks you’ll see quotes like this:

Although human life is a continuous process, fertilisation is a critical landmark, because, under ordinary circumstances a new, genetically distinct human organism, is thereby formed. –Human Embryology and Teratology

Human life begins at fertilization.—The Developing Human 

Development begins with fertilisation—Langman’s Medical Embryology

Even amongst the pro-choice side we get:

There is no doubt that from the first moments of its existence, an embryo conceived from human sperm and eggs is a human being.—Peter Singer, Practical Ethics

Hence, the moment you terminate a pregnancy, whatever the stage, you deny a life the right to exist. You will never get it back. You will never know what that child could have been. 

Other issues that have to be considered with the understanding that life begins at conception is the issue of hormonal birth control, (since I’m on the subject and don’t really get into it in the first post...). I recently read an outraged News article talking about how some politician said that the Pill caused abortion. The man in question was called a religious nut, ignorant, and uninformed, but I rather thought the journalist was. Few people seem to realise that the Pill does not always stop ovulation, and hence, fertilization. While it makes it very difficult for fertilization to occur, it can still occur. If that happens, the Pill will usually result in a lost life, because the Pill also prevents implantation of the fertilised egg by altering the endometrium. This is why many claim that the Pill has the potential to be abortifacient. If you believe that life starts at conception, as I do, hormonal contraception is out. The morning after pill is really just a higher dosage of the regular pill anyway, so really this shouldn’t be surprising. 

Taking the next leap from the understanding that fertilization is the earliest stage of human development is the nature of IVF. To promote greater levels of success, multiple embryos are nurtured. They are screened for “undesirable” qualities whether it be for disabilities, or gender. (I’ve already talked about why that’s awful in my original post.) After successful implantation, the other embryos, the siblings of the lucky implanted ones, are terminated or frozen. Moreover, if the pregnancy results in multiples, because all embryos implant, there is often an abortion to reduce the pregnancy to something safer. Some mothers refuse to do this and you get “Octomom.” I respect them for not terminating their children, but it definitely made for some very high-risk pregnancies. The fact is if you are going to say that you believe something, you cannot pick and choose what it applies to. The evidence points to life begins at conception which means artificial methods of conception need to be looked at as well. I touched on this in my viability argument and I’ll just post that again here:

What about embryo adoption though? Did you know that that is possible? That that is even being done? It has already happened that parents who use IVF, and have no further need for the other embryos they have frozen allow other couples who cannot conceive naturally to adopt them. It has been called the earliest form of adoption. Well, how does this fit into the viability idea? If you can take an embryo and implant it into someone else’s womb? What if you can develop artificial wombs? What if you can remove a fetus in the first trimester and still keep it alive? The whole viability argument makes me feel a bit uncomfortable to be honest, because it is so inherently subjective.

As a side note, I wonder how those embryos who were adopted feel when they grow up. They know that they weren’t the lucky embryo chosen by their biological parents. They were the one frozen, unwanted, and then lucky enough to be granted a chance to truly live when they were given up for adoption. How do they feel knowing they have a biological sibling living with a different set of parents? That maybe they have more still frozen? When an infant is given up for adoption, it is usually a loving decision based upon the mother’s, and possibly even the father’s, recognition that they cannot care for the child. Frozen embryos though…they’re just children, or potential children if you don’t recognise them as being alive, stuck in a freezer. Their parents just have no need for them.

Since I’m on the subject I’ll just go all out and talk about that last point too: The family. 

I remember reading an article years and years ago about how in a family one child was given away, and one was allowed to stay. It was years ago, so I remember few of the details, but I do remember the parent was confused that the child who stayed kept acting out. Surely since she was the one who was kept, she would have felt more safe? In truth though, the child felt worse because she never felt “safe” in a family where people left. She learned that being loved seemed to be conditional. She wanted to know what the limits were for her. When would she be sent away? 

I was conceived right after my mother miscarried my elder brother. He was miscarried so late, he was almost born stillborn, but if he had been born, I would never have been conceived. It’s a crazy thought to me, because I was almost miscarried too. (My mom really struggled to carry a pregnancy to term.) I think sometimes about how it could have been James that was born, and me that was lost. As a consequence, I view my life as even more of a miracle then it already is. My brother died and I was able to live. It’s a humbling thought, and I can’t take it lightly. James is a part of my life, and while my family and I don’t speak of him often, when we do it is with love and grief and respect. My mother even cried once saying she could never have chosen between us, and she wishes she could have raised us both. I often find I want to live a good life, for his sake, as well as my own, and my family’s, and others. James is as important to me. I don’t want to waste the gift I was granted. I wonder though how it would feel if James had been aborted instead. There are, of course, few studies done on the siblings of aborted children, but what I have found indicates grief, anger, and survivor’s guilt–especially those who were once part of multiples that were “selectively reduced”. There have even been developed support groups for the siblings of aborted children who are struggling with it. Abortion rocks the entire family.

One woman who works at a Pregnancy Counselling Centre stated:

“Abortion teaches children that they have worth because they were conceived in the right conditions and at the right time; that they have value because their parents want them. Up to 50% of all American children have lost a brother or a sister to abortion, making it much more likely that they live with a performance view of love: I was born because I was wanted therefore I better perform so they will continue to love me.”

I imagine this is particularly understandable for those who were kept because they were a girl or a boy, and the parents wanted a girl or a boy rather than the opposite sex. Do you only love me because I’m the right gender? 

The above woman also said:

“I think one of the most difficult things for me to face is a woman who is attempting to justify an abortion for the sake of her other children. I always want to tell them…the best thing for her little ones is to have a brother or a sister. In fact, explaining to sons and daughters a few years in the future as to why they aborted their sibling will probably be the most difficult thing they will ever do[.]”

One sibling described how her mother felt unequal to raising a fourth child so aborted the baby. She was left wondering if she’d been that fourth child, would she have been aborted? It’s an uncomfortable question. Love is unconditional, and that should never be in question, and neither should someone’s right to live. These concepts go hand in hand. The value of a life does not rest on it’s convenience, gender, or health.  

This is the heart of the pro-life movement. It is about the inherent dignity of all human life from conception to natural death. It means to be so respectful of the dignity of the human person, you could not fathom supporting anything that would harm them. It means such a fundamental respect for human life that you do not terminate it, rather you do everything you can to support it. It means a respect for life so deep that you do not take the risks of having sex if you aren’t willing to carry a pregnancy, however unlikely it is to occur, to term. It means looking at children as blessing not burdens. It means loving the people you have in your life, young, old, or middle-aged whatever their physical or mental state. It means asking yourself the difficult question: Are people an inconvenience to you? It means pushing for better maternity leave, paternity leave, social services, health care, foster care, adoption services, palliative care, and so on and so forth. More than that, it means being willing to pitch-in and help out yourself. It’s not just about what happens in the abortion clinic. To truly believe in life and love means making a commitment. It will not always be easy, but it is worth it. Abortion may be the “easy” option, but it is not the best one. It shouldn’t even be option at all, and it is devastating in basically every way. 

[thenugdiaries]

In The Beginning

Today is day 3 of finding out I'm pregnant. It's way to early for anything just yet, right now it's just a cluster of cells in there trying to figure out what's going on. It doesn't even have a heartbeat yet. But already I'm starting to have symptoms. I don't feel like I had symptoms earlier and I can't figure out if I'm having symptoms because I KNOW I'm pregnant or if they were going to start like this on their own even if I was unaware. This is the second morning that the Nug has woken me at exactly 4 40 in the morning. I have no idea why this time is significant but I can assure you now, I hate it. I am not a morning person, I have never been a morning person and if I wanted to be a morning person I could be because I am what? SICKENING. (Sorry I really will never be a morning person but it was flowing and I couldn't stop and didn't want to stop my inner Shangela) So now I lay here exhausted but unable to return to sleep and I wanted to document my pregnancy and thought would be a good way since none of my friends still come on Tumblr. My pregnancy ride has not been an easy one. My husband and I tried for over a year on our own and nothing was happening. My period was all over the place I tried talking to my NP and she kept assuring me everything was fine. Let me tell you out there, you know your own body, if you don't feel right, something is not right. I was on the pill for nine years. Turns out I didn't even need to be on it. In August I started seeing a doctor at the same practice as my NP where she diagnosed me with PCOS, polycycstic ovarian syndrome. Which means you have these fluid filled sacs that mess with hormones as can way down the ovary. You're supposed to have a cyst on your ovary when you ovulate. I just had multiple and they weren't allowing me to ovulate. Turns out I mostly likely had never ovulated in my entire life. I had way more eggs than a "normal" woman at my age. The other wall we ran into was my husband's sperm. We were turning out to be Chandler and Monica. We were told his sperm had terrible morphology. The looked super funky and when you have bad morphology it makes it increasing more difficult. The sperm wouldn't be able to penetrate the egg even if one deigned to leave my ovaries. All of these factors started putting me into a deep depression. My husband has wanted a kid for years and I wasn't ready, now I'm finally ready and we're being told it's virtually improbable. The only good thing is we finally had answers. If this were even 50 years ago we would never have been able to have children. The nice thing is that it's 2019 and we have medication that does all sorts of fun things. Our Doctor referred us to and IVF clinic. I personally did not want to do IVF because the hormones make you crazy and I'm already very sensitive to hormones. Being that a lot of women do IVF, it was going to be a while before we could get an appointment. My doctor told me about three months, which would be after Christmas. I fortunately got an appointment two days before Halloween. Seeing as it was supposed to be a long time before I want to the clinic my Doctor started me on a medication to force me to ovulate called Letrizole. (It's a great medication to help you ovulate not good when pregnant, the pharmacy asked me Everytime I picked it up if I was pregnant before giving it to me and I literally wanted to scream at them that if I was pregnant I wouldn't be taking it). I took 2.5 mg for 5 days and lo and behold and egg appeared in my ovary. Not my fallopian tube, just the ovary and it wasn't a good size just yet. It was 15.6 mm and an ideal egg to leave the ovary needs to be between 18 and 22mm. This was ok news, there was no indication it was going to leave the ovary but my doctor was optimistic for the both of us where as I just cried. The day came to go to the Clinic and we met our Fertility doctor. She was nice and educational. We learned a lot from her, including that where my husband's sperm was tested are very strict. All of his other sperm testing was perfect so she didn't believe there was anything actually wrong with his sperm. She wanted to do more labs on me and those came back stating the most beautiful phrase "you have ovulated" I did a dance. But I was not pregnant. I was put on a medication bro force my period and went back on Letrizole on day 3 of my cycle after some more labs. This is where things get strange. On November 10th I went in for an ultrasound and I watched it from where I was laying. I work in the medical field as an x-ray tech and I work in the OR where we do a lot of ultrasound. I don't claim to be an expert but I do know what I'm looking at when I compare my previous ultrasound to this one on the 10th. It was bleak. Not a single egg over 10 mm. I was devestated. My uterus even looked sad. What went wrong? They took some blood work and my estrogen was low. Nothing, zip, zilch. What was different from last month? I had an egg that grew, I actually ovulated. They sent more Letrizole, now 7.5 mg to the pharmacy and when I left the hospital, I spiraled. That night I turned my phone off and just drove around and cried and cried. When I finally came home I told my husband I just wanted to lay down and be alone. I got drunk of Saturday to forget everything and hang with my sister and one of my best friends. It was a bad weekend emotionally. Monday I didn't even want my husband to TOUCH me which is horrible. He needs a lot of physical contact and for me to tell him I didn't want to be touched was heartbreaking for both of us. Tuesday I bled, TERRIBLY. It was so scary. I felt wet but just thought it was normal discharge because I always have cramps with my period. No cramps but I bled through two pairs of pants. I texted my best friend freaking out and call the clinic. Best friend was also freaking out and the clinic told me "we don't know why you're bleeding but you should be fine, continue the last day of your letrizole and we'll see you Friday for your next ultrasound".......WE DON'T KNOW. Do you know how hard it was to keep my composure at work when I felt like I was dying and it felt like the clinic couldn't even be bothered. This is where it gets fun. My husband left Thursday to go to his cousins wedding. I woke up Friday and went and had my ultrasound. We put the probe in and staring back at me on that screen is the perfect example of what a pregnancy looks like. I bolted up on the bed and looked at the tech (who was the same tech that did my scan the previous Friday) and said "WHAT IS THAT" she calmed me and told me I was around 5 and a half weeks...

[backonefish]

Double Standards

There are two parallel situations I’ve been thinking about for quite some time: the two babygates and solo Harry vs. solo Zayn. * ** 

Babygates 

*** I find it so interesting that the same people who ripped apart all the inconsistencies with bg 1 are those who look at bg 2 and are like, yep, sounds plausible to me.

Both babygates follow the exact same formula of either The Sun or Dailymail revealing the exclusive relationship, a way too early pregnancy announcement, a father that is seemingly detached from it, and none of the band members participating in it. 

The only difference is in one, you have a fame hungry family and a faked pregnancy. In the other, you have a fame hungry woman and a real pregnancy. In fact, the formula of a fake relationship between Cheryl and Liam was so obvious that everyone mocked it. No one believed it. But suddenly, the minute we figured out Cheryl was actually pregnant, people were like, oh, I guess that means Liam’s the father.

What??

What??

And this is where the double standards set in.

In Louis’ situation, I read numerous times how, “Louis is a 24 yr, famous artist, in the biggest band, just about to start his solo career. There would be no way that he’d risk all of that to have a kid.”

But, what? Liam would? Liam, who actually has solo music coming (at the time of bg 1, Louis didn’t have solo plans) is going to be promoting his music, touring, focusing on his career - he would risk all of that to have a kid? A kid he’s apparently very committed to, but at the same time won’t even be around given the promotion of his solo career.

Let’s also not forget that Liam and Cheryl had been ‘dating’ for a few months when the pregnancy rumours started swirling. Liam who had just gotten out of a ‘long term relationship’ just jumped into another with a woman multiple years older, and not be married, no actual commitment, but be like cool, yeah, let’s have a kid.

In fact, if you look at the situations, the story that Louis had a one night stand and got a random pregnant, is actually more plausible than Liam dating Cheryl for a few months and deciding to father her child and commit his life to her.

So, it begs the question, why does the fandom believe that Louis would be too smart to get himself in such a situation, but Liam wouldn’t?

(Also the fact that Briana clearly wasn’t pregnant, yet Cheryl clearly was – that doesn’t count as a reason to believe bg 2. Because IVF is a thing.)

 Solo Harry vs. Solo Zayn

This one has been irking me for a long time. In fact, ever since Harry outright said that he was the one who came up with the hiatus in 2014, yet for some random reason, Zayn was the one who left first?

I’ve seen a lot of people using solo Harry promo as evidence that look he LOVES One Direction. He dedicated an entire segment of his movie to the boys. He talks to his boys all the time. He’s a true 1D stan.

Yes, I’m aware that a lot of this is in retaliation to the perpetual rumours that Harry hated being in the band. But it’s interesting that the smallest examples of 1D love are raised as gospel.

Where as for Zayn:

A wall in his house:

So why the discrepancy?

(I know that the Twitter fight between Zouis and the #realmusic left a horrible taste in everyone’s mouth. I also know at that time (when I actually wasn’t privy to the I heart Zayn side of the fandom), I had laughed at all of it and been like, lawls, they expect us to believe this twitter fight? They expect us to believe that Zayn’s actually tweeting that shit?

Imagine my surprise when, oh hey, people actually believed it!

Isn’t it interesting that we shouldn’t believe everything that print Harry says? Isn’t it interesting that we shouldn’t believe everything that SM Louis says/ does? Isn’t it interesting that we should believe that the boys are in some ridiculous contract that would create a fake baby and fake relationships? That this contract is so ruthless that they wouldn’t let Niall take time off his knee surgery, didn’t care how they were working underage boys to the ground, all in hopes of some money.

But wait.

How come people do believe the shit that print Zayn says? How come people do believe the shit that Zayn tweets? How come people do think that this contract and big, bad, Simon Cowell suddenly grew a heart when he looked at Zayn and realised he was unhappy making music?

Like, oh poor Harry and Louis they want to be together, but if they do, my profits will go down so I will force them apart. Poor Niall, he needs some time to fix his knee, but if he does, that means cancelled shows, my profits will go down, so I won’t let him get the proper medical attention he needs. Poor boys, they’re so tired, they barely sleep, they’re constantly working, but if I allow them to rest, my profits will go down, so I’ll force them to keep going. Oh poor Zayn, this music is definitely not what he likes, I’ve already forced him into four albums, and if he leaves, he’s sure to take a chunk of the Asian market, so my profits will go down***, so I’ll force him to – oh actually, never mind. I’ll actually let him leave.

I’m sorry, what? Do people actually look at these situations and go, yeah that makes complete sense??)

I find this interesting because there are so many times when Zayn and Harry have said the exact same thing, how they are making music that is truly theirs, how they’re finally getting to the sound that they want to listen to. Yet one is praised for staying true to himself (despite some controversial songs) and the other is despised for making music he enjoys.

What was the point of this? To say that it doesn’t matter if one of the boys aren’t your faves. You don’t have to love Liam as much as you love Louis. You don’t have to love, heck, even tolerate Zayn as much as you tolerate Harry. But you should at least extend the same level of analysis and critical thinking to the band as a whole.

When you are quick to judge other people for believing a het!Harry narrative, or a Harry hates 1D narrative, or a het!dad!Louis narrative, and tell them to look at the facts, think critically, think logically, use your goddman brain, yet refuse to do the same for other members – I’m sorry but your double standards are showing.

*This is mainly the discrepancies in how people perceive each situation. I don’t know if it’s because some people either just don’t want to look into things enough, or if they genuinely believe one situation over the other. Or that people just don’t care enough about Liam and Zayn.

**This isn’t referring to people who believe everything 1DHQ says, hook, line, and sinker. At least they’re extending their beliefs equally across all boys. This is referring to those who pride themselves as being analytical and seeing the truth about certain situations, but refuse to apply that same level of thinking to others. It’s about those people who only look at certain situations and then believe 1DHQ narrative for others.

***I am intentionally ignoring the boys’ sexuality when discussing this, because I read multiple times that you don’t need to know Louis’ sexuality to dispel bg. So I’m going with that.

****A quick Google search shows that Four performed better than MITAM did.  

[mikeyber]

Faced with Fertility Challenges?

In the first of a series of ‘Ask Mike’ publications Mike Berkley answers questions about the benefits of using acupuncture to address specific conditions.

What are the benefits of using acupuncture when treating a patient with PCOS?

PCOS is both an endocrinologic as well as a metabolic disorder. The patient can present with polycystic ovaries, hyperandrogenism, hirsutism, and hyperinsulinemia. Furthermore, PCOS patients have a difficult time conceiving. One of the reasons is anovulation. Also, the egg quality is very often compromised as there is too much testosterone in the follicle. This acts as an anti-estrogen and therefore, the eggs lack proper nourishment. In fact, the PCOS population experiences miscarriage more than the non-PCOS population.

Acupuncture and herbal medicine are ‘regulators. They reduce that which is in excess and supplement that which is diminished. In the PCOS patient, we want to reduce the testosterone milieu, increase the follicular estrogen, regulate the menstrual cycle and help facilitate conception. Acupuncture and herbs often accomplish this goal.

Another goal of the practitioner of traditional Chinese medicine is to council patients about life-style. If a PCOS patient is morbidly obese, she may face gestational diabetes, preeclampsia or eclampsia. This can cause serious health issues for mom and baby. Through lifestyle counselling, it is often possible to help this type of patient lose weight.

Obesity will also elevate estrogen levels which can, over time, contribute to cancer as well as contribute to infertility. The hormones must be balanced.  Too much estrogen is as detrimental as not enough. Via the regulatory effects of acupuncture and herbs, weight can be lost, hormones can be rebalanced, menses can regulate, and conception may occur. I am not suggesting that acupuncture and herbal medicine is the holy-grail. It can help some people, sometimes; just like IVF.

What are the benefits of using acupuncture when treating a patient with endometriosis?

Endometriosis is a pro-inflammatory cytokine disease. In other words, there are inflammatory factors causing havoc in the reproductive system.

Even though endometriosis is a disease which occurs outside of the uterus, the inflammatory processes make their way into the uterine cavity altering the lining and the environment. This in and of itself is the main biological factor of infertility. There are physical issues as well. For example, tubal adhesions can occur which makes conception via intercourse or IUI impossible.

IVF is a must in those cases. Many patients with endometriosis also have activated Nk cells. These cells are meant to attack cancer cells in the uterus. But in endometriosis patients, these Nk cells often mistake the embryo for a cancer cell and attack and kill it.

Even after laparoscopic surgery, the patient can STILL have endometriosis. Here’s why: endometriotic lesions have various colours; brown, red, purple, power-burn, etc. This tells the surgeon “this is endo – resect it”.  The problem is, some endometriosis tissue looks exactly like normal tissue. So, the surgeon can’t even see this tissue, let alone remove it. In my mind, even after a laparoscopy, it should be assumed that the patient still may have endometriosis.

In endometriosis cases (after laparoscopy always!) our aim is to try and reduce the inflammatory processes that may still be manifesting in the uterus and to try and regulate immune function. One protein that is a marker for poor fertility outcomes and is often seen in endometriosis patients is BCL6. BCL6 in some medical circles is what is thought to cause infertility in the endometriosis patient. By regulation of immunological function and clearing inflammation,  BCL6 may be down-regulated and the ability to conceive will be improved.

What are the benefits of using acupuncture when treating a patient with sperm anomalies?

A typical semen analysis looks at count, volume, concentration, morphology and motility and ph. They all come back normal and the wife is 100% normal and she’s 27 years old and they can’t conceive? Why not? One potential reason is a ‘hidden pathology’ that is often not tested for. The pathology is sperm DNA fragmentation.

The common consensus amongst reproductive endocrinologists is that the only barrier to fertilization caused by DNA fragmentation is that the sperm can’t penetrate the egg. The patient is treated via ICSI (the sperm is injected directly into the egg to engender fertilization.)  Often these cases end up in non-pregnancy or miscarriage. It is, in my opinion, not advisable to force a poor-quality sperm into an egg and expect a good outcome. Interestingly, some of these cases do end up with live births. But many do not.

Acupuncture can strongly improve hemodynamics to the testes, delivery oxygen, hormones, nutrient and electrolytes. Acupuncture also helps facilitate to excretion of debris or dead cells from the testes. This can improve testicular function and significantly reduce sperm DNA fragmentation. Taking antioxidants is extremely important in these cases as well since there is a tendency in these men to have high levels of oxidative stress in the testicular environment which can significantly harm sperm.

What are the benefits of using acupuncture to relieve stress in couples experience fertility challenges?

Stress is an interesting and uncertain issue when it comes to infertility cases. Yes; all parties involved are stressed. They want a child and can’t conceive. But does stress actually contribute to infertility? I’m not sure. Here’s why: In any war zone, in any part of the world, in any time in history, the most horrible, stressful, unspeakable things occur. But children are born in these war zones daily. I know for sure that stress can negatively impact sperm count but I’m not certain about the effect on fertility in the female patient. Nonetheless, acupuncture is excellent at mitigating stress, which, at the very least, will make the couple feel better, stronger, healthier, and more capable of dealing with the difficult journey ahead.

What are the benefits of using acupuncture when treating a patient who has low ovarian reserve and poor egg quality?

Acupuncture is very effective at improving blood flow to anywhere in the body that the practitioner wants. For example, if a patient has ‘tennis elbow’ (lateral epicondylitis) and you insert needles near and at the elbow, it will signal healing immunological substances to the site to repair the damage. So is the case with ovaries. We can stimulate blood to the ovaries directly stimulating delivery of oxygen, nutrients, electrolytes and hormones while also removing dead cells from the ovaries. This will not, under any circumstances provide a woman with more eggs but can, frequently, improve egg quality. This is very important.

Remember, in the IVF setting an egg is retrieved, fertilized and the subsequent embryo is transferred into the uterus, but…the reproductive endocrinologist can only work with the materials presented to him or her. So, if the egg quality is poor but a blastocyst is formed, the transfer will occur, and pregnancy will not ensue. If through acupuncture and/or herbal medicine, egg quality is improved, there will be an obvious increase in the chances of a successful outcome.

Founder and director of The Berkley Center for Reproductive Wellness, Mike Berkley is licensed and Board Certified in Acupuncture in New York State and certified in Chinese herbology by the National Certification Commission for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine. Mike is one of Fertility Road’s Strategic Partners.

berkleycenter.com

Acupuncture For Fertility

Complementary Therapies

[elajyoti-blog]

Male Infertility Problems | Testicular sperm retrieval procedure | Elawoman

Testicular sperm retrieval procedure has advantages, for example, non-careful, practical, less tedious, and less agonizing and horrendous. TESA dangers incorporate inner inordinate dying, sickness, and spewing. IVF procedure sperm retrieval is performed under the direction of barrenness pros.

What is TESA Treatment?

TESA or Testicular Sperm Aspiration is a restorative procedure of sperm extraction for the treatment of male infertility problems. In this procedure, a needle is entered in the gonads and liquid and tissue with useful sperm are removed for Assisted Reproductive Techniques, for example, ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection), IVF and IUI. Under the effect of anesthesia, little testis tissue and sperms are taken out. TESA is a leap forward innovation in which even juvenile sperm can likewise be used to prepare egg however it needs to experience the procedure of ICSI. If you've got a question in your mind related Testicular sperm retrieval procedure get solutions from us at Elawoman.Com.

At the point when is TESA Done?

TESA is performed under different conditions as talked about underneath:

1-TESA is performed when a male is determined to have problems in semen or sperms in sperm culture reports or in semen investigation tests, for example,

Azoospermia (complete nonattendance of sperm donor ejaculation) and Non-Obstructive Azoospermia (Abnormal sperm production)

Oligospermia (low grouping of sperms)

Asthenozoospermia(sperms coming up short on the required motility)

Cryptozoospermia (sperms with high setback rate)

Necrozoospermia (a condition with dead and stable sperms).

2-When the individual has a long history of different genital medical procedures and issues, for example,

Vasectomy(surgery for lasting contraception of men)

Frenulectomy (Removal of frenulum of the penis to address state of frenulum breve/rupturing)

Penectomy (Surgical evacuation of a penis)

Urethrectomy

3-Men with Retrograde Ejaculation problems (ejaculation occurring inside the urinary bladder as opposed to leaving the urethra.

What is the contrast between TESA and TESE?

TESA is a clinical based procedure and is performed with neighborhood anesthesia. Once the both or one of the tests are desensitized, a needle is utilized for suctioning sperms alongside testicular tissue. Sperms are then surveyed by andrologist. Great quality sperms are cryopreserved, by utilizing proper techniques. TESA is valuable for the individuals who have sufficient sperm production all through the gonads. No entry point is required in TESA.

TESE is additionally performed under the effect of neighborhood anesthesia. Yet, TESE requires a little cut for uncovering the testicular tissue. TESE separates a high number of sperms with great quality and portability when contrasted with TESA. This procedure is useful for the individuals who are certain that sperm is delivered yet are bad for a percutaneous procedure. TESE costs more than TESA.

Both the techniques, TESE or TESA can be utilized. The main distinction is TESE includes a careful biopsy of the testis and in TESA a needle is stuck into the testis, which is utilized hope for liquid and tissue with the negative weight. Counsel the fertility specialist before choosing any procedure.

How to plan for the Procedure of TESA?

It is vital to educate your fertility specialist in the case that you have any of the accompanying issues previously experiencing testicular desire:

In the event that you had any draining problems.

In the event that susceptible to any prescription which additionally incorporates sedatives.

In the event that taking any drugs consistently, it is vital to enlighten your specialist regarding every one of the meds you are experiencing alongside over the counter ones.

On the off chance that you are taking blood-diminishing drugs like warfarin, heparin, enoxaparin, headache medicine, ibuprofen and different NSAIDs.

Aside from these subtleties, the patient will be requested to sign an assent shape, which will express that 'you comprehend the dangers engaged with the test and consent to have it done'.

You should converse with your specialist on the off chance that you have any disarray or concerns in regards to the necessity of the test. You can likewise clear about the dangers and confusions included. You can likewise discuss the outcomes.

You don't need to do anything or any arrangement if a biopsy is performed under nearby anesthesia. Be that as it may, on the off chance that the procedure is done under general anesthesia, the specialist will ask you to how soon before the procedure you should quit eating and drinking.

Adhere to the guidelines cautiously or it might defer the surgery. The specialist will embed an intravenous line (IV) in your arm before the test. The specialist will likewise get a calming medication around an hour before the test.

What are Different Sperm Retrieval Techniques utilized?

The following are the techniques, which can be utilized for sperm retrieval:

1-Open fine needle aspiration-the epididymis is uncovered and a pliable punctured by means of tunica straightforwardly without making any dismemberment. A 26-G needle is utilized.

2-Percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration (PESA)- Simple, snappy and simple process and no need open surgery.

3-Testicular sperm aspiration (TESA)- It is like aspiration cytology procedure for example a non-surgical process.

4-Needle aspiration biopsy-A basic, entry point less and speedy process which can acquire tissue equivalent to open biopsy.

5-Conventional open biopsy-with the assistance of scrotal entry point testis is uncovered and tunica is etched. And after that, a bit of testicular tissue is extracted. An entry point is shut once the tunica is sutured.

6-Single seminiferous tubule biopsy-this procedure includes broad inspecting of testis with no critical entry point on tunica.

There are different techniques additionally separated from the previously mentioned and can be examined with the specialist. Our professional will help you to solve your problem-related Testicular sperm retrieval procedure at Elawoman.Com.

How does TESA Procedure Work?

The procedure for TESA is exceptionally straightforward.

1-First, the patient is infused with general/nearby anesthesia.

2-Following anesthesia, an exceptionally minor and smooth needle is infused around gonad/s with a suction syringe.

3-Sperms and little testicular tissues are removed through the needle. The extricated sperms and tissues are sent to the research facility. Recovered sperms and tissues are then tried under research facility for sperm processing.

4-After that, the processed sperm is washed and most motile and solid sperm are set up for insemination.

By what method will you feel while experiencing TESA treatment?

1-During the test, you will feel a concise sting when the specialist will embed IV line in your arm or amid nearby anesthesia is given. You won't feel torment separated from it.

2-You may likewise encounter some wounding.

3-You will likewise see a little measure of seeping through the gauze utilized. It is typical and you can talk about with your specialist how much draining you can anticipate.

4-Your specialist can likewise endorse painkillers and anti-infection agents to lessen the agony and odds of disease.

Result of TESA

1-You can get the outcome from the testicular biopsy as a rule in 2 to 4 days.

2-The pathologist will watch the example through a magnifying lens. He/she will at that point search for any

3-Sometimes, it might appear the ordinary improvement of sperm yet once you complete your semen examination, it will result in missing or decreased sperm. In such circumstances, it tends to be the blockage in the tube from testicles to the urethra. The tube is known to be the Deferens. Surgery can be performed in some blockage cases.

What variables can influence the test?

While under nearby anesthesia, it is extremely critical for the patient to remain still. In the event that the patient thinks that its troublesome, general anesthesia may be required.

What can be the conceivable repercussions?

At the point when a testicular biopsy is performed, there are odds of testicular malignant growth. This is the motivation behind why the biopsy isn't performed if the malignant growth is suspected.

For diagnosing presumed testicular malignant growth, testicular ultrasound is often performed. Furthermore, an open surgical procedure (orchiectomy) is done if the specialist supposes you may have the disease for affirming the determination.

What are the TESA Benefits and Risks?

TESA Treatment is one of the successful techniques for sperm retrieval. It is utilized passionately in ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) strategies, for example, IVF, ICSI, and IUI. A portion of the advantages and dangers related to TESA are given beneath.

TESA Benefits:

TESA is a simple and a non-surgical procedure.

It is practical. It chops down the requirement for costly injections of superovulation to the lady.

Less excruciating and less horrible as no vein is contacted amid procedure of TESA.

It spares you time as the whole procedure of TESA  barely needs 30-45 minutes.

On the off chance that you are not searching for a sperm donor to conceive your child, TESA is best as it gives you the delight of being the organic father.

If you have any doubt about Related Testicular sperm retrieval procedure You Can confirm with us.

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