#one more days to go until July 16 where i turn rule 34

[tampire]

Here have more of my discounted memes

[ghostsofmemories]

Writing My Obituary (context on my weird poetry collection)

I realized today that I very casually bring up my poetry collection all the time and a large majority of my followers have no clue what I’m talking about, so here’s a WMO explanation post thing! I should definitely give a content warning though: this book deals with suicide, abuse (both physical and emotional, by both parents and other people), homophobia and transphobia, allusions to major appetite and stomach issues (which while reading sound a lot like eating disorders), toxic relationships, just a lot of really heavy emotions in general. Please don’t read the book or this post if those things could trigger you. This post also ended up super long, so the rest is under the cut.

So. first thing’s first, this collection is being published by Pure Print Publishing this fall (due to covid there aren’t any exact dates available). I didn’t query it, someone reached out to me after reading my poems on Instagram, hearing that they were in an unpublished collection, and basically connected me with their friend who runs the indie publishing house and is an author himself.

A big part of the reason this book is so difficult to talk about in context is because that requires getting pretty vulnerable - most of this book is just me dealing with everything I’ve struggled with over the last 4 years of my life. So if there’s discussion about the book in the replies, please keep it to the content of the book and not the validity of these experiences or details of things that happened to me.

The collection is about me and my journey from 13 to 17, starting with my suicide attempt at 13. There are several poems from around that time in my life, but they’ve changed a lot over the four years of editing. However, you can definitely still see changes in the way I write and the way I approach poetry by the end of the book - which was the goal. The book is centered around learning about identity, about how relationships should work, about friendships, about learning to handle mental and chronic illness, and above all, growing. There’s really no “breaking point” where everything about the way I write changes all at once, so in context, the change is almost difficult to see. So to sort of represent these changes, I’m putting a poem from the beginning, from the middle, and from the end all right next to each other (and some bonus analysis of my own poetry!).

Call me a monster is probably the most stark change from the past to the present. I almost never rhyme my poems anymore and if I do, they’re fleeting and mostly for rhythm. The lines are also extremely short, which I only do now when it really fits - in general, I make an effort to avoid consistently short lines. I like to tell myself that it’s symbolism I did on purpose to represent how all over the place my brain was, hopping from one thought to the next, but I don’t think it’s symbolism. I think my brain was really too jumbled to have more than five words in a line.

 I also took my own poems very seriously back then - writing a poem was an Occasion, so the first letter of each of those lines is capitalized like I’m some sort of English classics major. Both stanzas are also the same length (I still do that now sometimes, but back then it was in so many of my poems that I think I thought it was a requirement). Basically, I wrote this like I was going to turn it in somewhere.

Still pretty heavy on the capitalization here, but I definitely got more flexible with stanza length and slightly longer lines (7 whole words, yay!). This poem was somewhat of a turning point for me, basically realizing that I could not only vent through poetry, but still make it poetic and artistic in a lot of ways, and also explore contrast in my own emotions and conflicting feelings. For some reason, prior to this, I thought a poem could only be one emotion at a time, but now I think a poem can be one topic and the way multiple or conflicting emotions revolve around it. This is also one of the first poems I wrote that I was proud of from beginning to end.

This poem isn’t totally representative of the last couple changes I want to talk about (especially line length - for being relatively recent the lines are still pretty short), but I don’t want to use too many poems that haven’t been posted online before and this one has been posted and read aloud on an Instagram live, minus one stanza I added, which I’ll get to. I also wanted to choose this one because it has a direct reference to The Universe In You and several other poems, which gives me a chance to talk about how much I love referencing my other poetry in my poetry. Buckle up, this one might be long.

By this point, I had pretty much realized that there actually aren’t any rules at all. I’ve figured out what I want to say and I’ll say it however the hell I want to - I don’t need to capitalize things unless it suits the form, I don’t have to be totally consistent, I can repeat things as much as I want. I reached back into my 15 year old angst for this one, though, so I could more properly write about the relationship in a way that made sense. 

Now, I could honestly write a whole other book about how I reference other poems in each poem, but for now I’ll just break down the ones here.

Sort of a half reference right at the beginning: I have so much to say. I bring that up in different words in so many poems, both about my relationship and my dad. This is probably because, growing up as someone who had a speech impediment (meaning I talked too much no matter how little I said because of how long it took to say it), I always felt like I never had the space to say everything I wanted. It’s brought up in at least 3 other poems.

lost signals: a direct reference to my poem Thread Unavailable:

We’re riding down a dirt road in the middle of a conversation and lost signal. Message failed.

empty spaces: a reference to The Universe In You!! Pretty much the whole reason I included this poem.

burned poems: this one is basically just a reference to all the poems in the collection that are breakup poems, or poems where I directly addressed my ex saying don’t read this, you don’t have to read this, I shouldn’t have written this, etc. Specifically, A Long and Lonely Letter, Tired Eyed (The Homecoming Poem), and The Poem That Shouldn’t Exist.

another July come and gone and I didn’t write about you: this reference is hard to really understand the context of unless you know me in real life, but in two other poems I mention the month of July, in a couple others I reference summer, but there are dozens of poems that didn’t make it into my cut of the collection that talk about July. Basically, in context of the relationship, it was the only time we were actually happy and we split up and got back together over and over trying to replicate that fleeting, 30 day feeling that was overtaken by school, seasonal depression, and our own instability as people. For so long, all I could think about was that one month, and that line was my way of showing how I was done writing about it.

you told me, once, that we’re soulmates: this entire little stanza is directly copied from Tired Eyed (The Homecoming Poem). In order to continue talking about it I’ll throw a piece of that here:

If you want to come back, be sure of me. Be sure of yourself. I don’t want to be a consequence of your impulses.

You told me, once, that we’re soulmates. That once you find a person you want to spend forever with, it feels like nothing else matters. Do you believe that like I do?

That’s just a really short chunk of a really long poem, but basically the re-use of that section goes to say that me truly believing nothing else mattered was not good and extremely unhealthy. I put it there even though the poem was just fine without it because I really wanted to get that message across, especially since most of my target audience falls between middle and high school.

I know love in so many shades and I give it in every color: this references a couple different poems that aren’t in the collection, but in terms of the book, it’s a reference to Red, Like You, which is about color association and love and stuff? I I still don’t totally get it. I say in the poem that I don’t totally get it. No one totally gets it, but all in all I went from loving just one person in just one way to loving everyone in tons of different ways and realizing that those other types of love are just as, if not more, fulfilling to me, and that romance is not the be-all end-all of love and happiness.

All the other references are repetitions so I’ve pretty much already explained those. But anyway, that’s my book! It has 77 poems total, quite a few of them more than a page, and some that are probably several pages once in paperback format because, you know, I never shut up. Since I did my mini beta reading round (I got a lot of necessary feedback but that was so much to keep track of, I’ll probably just get a couple feedback partners next time), I’ve cut 34 poems and added 16 newer ones, edited the crap out of the whole book, and gotten the perspective of a professional editor.

 This book, even though there’s a lot of it I’ve grown out of, is super important to me and it’s so hard to let it go. Part of me wants to keep this book going forever and just keep growing until it has thousands of poems, but all of these “character arcs” in my life are finished. I left my toxic relationship and friendships, I figured out my gender and sexuality, I learned how to love openly, I cut off my dad for good. There’s obviously always more to learn about my relationships with these other people and myself, and I do that unconsciously every day. But in all honesty, I have nothing left to say about these people or events that would change the conclusions I’ve already come to - they would only further prove them to be true.

I absolutely always want to talk about this book, so if you have any questions, send an ask! Also feel free to scroll through the poetry tag on my blog and ask me about any poems I have posted there, there are a few that I’ve written since the completion of the collection that’ll (most likely) end up in whatever I write next. Basically, I’m obsessed with poetry and want to talk about it all the time. Please ask me about it.

[briskythesovietspy]

85 questions tag

I was tagged by @honeyixing9. Thank you! 😊

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last

1. drink - water

2. phone call - my mum

3. text message - my sister

4. song you listened to - Skeletons by Heartist

5. time you cried -  at work last week during a supervision session with my mentor. We were talking about how stressed she felt by me keep asking for leave to go and see Yixing in concert, and I was mad and embarassed. But she gave me the leave so who’s the real winner? 😆

ever

6. dated someone twice? - not even dated anyone once

7. kissed someone and regretted it - never kissed anyone either

8. been cheated on - no

9. lost someone special - I have lost lots of friendships over the years just because I’m rubbish at keeping in contact. Luckily I had not lost any close family members.

10. been depressed - yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - no

fave colours

12. scarlet ❤️

13. crimson ❤️

14. pink ❤️

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes, I have made lots of lovely new friends on Tumblr, also I made several very good friends when I was travelling around China.

16. fallen out of love - I’m trying very hard to but no, it’s not working

17. laughed until you cried - yes

18. found out someone was talking about you - If you count work colleagues ratting on me to the manager... then yes.

19. met someone who changed you - no

20. found out who your friends are - yes, someone who I went to college with invited everyone in our friend group to her wedding, but not me. I guess she didn’t count me as a close friend like I did her.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - still not kissed anyone!

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - All of them. Some I don’t know well, but I either went to school/ college/ university with them, work with them or I have met them on my travels.

23. do you have any pets - no

24. do you want to change your name - no I actually like my name. You don’t meet too many Briony’s and I like being kinda unique 😊

25. what did you do for your last birthday - I organised my sister’s hen party so it fell on my birthday too, so I was in Porto, Portugal with my mum and sister.

26. what time did you wake up today - 7am ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for - Yixing’s concert in Nanjing!

30. what are you listening to right now - Journey to the Past from the Anastasia soundtrack

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - at some point yes

32. something that gets on your nerves - where to begin?? 😆 Right now I’m going to say people not filing the notes in alphabetical order at work.

33. most visited website - tumblr

34. hair color - dark brown

35. long or short hair - long to my waist

36. do you have a crush on someone -  many someones

37. what do you like about yourself - my independence, that I can travel alone without having to rely on other people

38. want any piercings? - no

39. blood type - probably A- but I’ve never had it checked

40. nicknames - B, Bri, BB but I’d rather you just use my full name

41. relationship status - forever alone

42. zodiac - Leo/ Sheep 🐑

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - Spartacus (also the only TV show to ever make me cry. Watch it!!)

45. tattoos - none and don’t want any

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - 3 times, one on each eye and one on my hand

48. piercings - none

49. sport - none

50. vacation - favourite place I’ve been to is Singapore, and I want to go to Japan, Thailand, India, West coast USA, the Middle East, and South America

51. trainers - Regatta... though they’re more like walking shoes

more general

52. eating - favourite foods are pizza, lasagne, and enchiladas aka anything smothered in cheese. And dessert wise I’m obsessed with Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and Cadbury chocolate.

53. drinking - currently I’m loving orange and mango cordial, yummy!

54. i’m about to watch - Trinkets on Netflix

55. waiting for - my trip to China in July, Yixing’s concert, EXO to come to Europe, my university course to start in September so I can get it over and done with.

56. want - to figure out what my dream job looks like and then go get it, to become fluent in Mandarin, to lose like 80lbs

57. get married - yes one day

58. career - that elusive dream job! Something that let’s me see the world.

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs

60. lips or eyes - lips

61. shorter or taller - I would like taller, but if Yixing asked me out I’m not going to be fussy about it 😆

62. older or younger - either

63. nice arms or stomach - not gonna lie, I love a good pair of arms

64. hookup or relationship - relationship if that ever happens

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - no

68. lost glasses - no

69. turned someone down - no

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart - not in a romantic way at least

72. had your heart broken - again, not romantically, but by friends and family, yes many times

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend - I had already fallen for him before we became friends but I just fell harder when I actually got to know him. He’s also really unavailable.

do you believe in

76. yourself - no

77. miracles - I would like to, but I don’t think so

78. love at first sight - attraction at first sight of course, but not love

79. santa claus -  you’re saying Santa isn’t real?? 😲

80. kiss on a first date - I wouldn’t at the moment but who knows

81. angels - no

other

82. best friend’s name - I don’t think I have one at the moment. My primary school best friend was called Jennifer and my high school best friend was called Katie.

83. eye color - brown

84. fave movie - Stand by Me

85. fave actor - River Phoenix

im gonna tag (20?? wow ok then 😆): @kafkascupcake @greentaolatte @laycitos @xing-a-tune @layverse @sefuns @castielsinwhite @my1ady @zyx-1 @1osecontrol @layallyourloveonxing @thegreatxingmibeyond @softxingdae @xiuminscheeks @zhangzjs @2baekxing @exo-chinaline @pinkxingmi @amaxing-daes @reddwarf93

[builder051]

prompt list

I actually have 435 followers now; IDK how that happened…

Alright.  Here’s how this is going to work.  Last time I did a prompt list, I got an overwhelming response (I wrote 22 fics), and I only had 100 followers back then.  This time around, I’m instituting some rules to keep things running smoothly.

I’ll keep this event running for one week (Evening of Thursday 05 July through Evening of Thursday 12 July) OR until I receive 25 prompts (controlling for duplicates).  At that point, my inbox will close again until I’ve written all of them.  I plan to post them as I write them, so I’m not sure how many I’ll get done each day.  My goal is to write at least one prompt a day, however, don’t get upset if things get a little delayed; my leg is in a cast and I am back working full time, so I got some shit going on.

**When you ask for a prompt, please copy and paste it into the ask**  This saves me having to go back and look it up later.  It also makes it way easier to search for the posts after they’re published.

There is no length guarantee.  Some of these lend themselves to short drabbles, and others work as longer fics, so expect some variety there.  In order to appeal to everyone’s various interests, I’ve tried to mark the prompts as to whether or not they’ll feature emeto.  Per usual, most of the prompts are sickfic-, angst-, or h/c-based, but a few are comedic.  I’ve bolded a few of the fanfic prompts I’m super ecstatic about, but no pressure.  Choose whichever you like best.  If there’s something else you’re desperate to see (especially if it’s for creedless assassins, since I didn’t put them on the list), feel free to send in an ask with your own prompt, though I reserve the right to say no thanks.

Thank you so much for following and for sticking with me.  I hope this is a fun event for all of us.

My OCs: Jax Beach

1  Todd gets motion sickness when Mel brings home a VR headset (emeto)

2  Mark gets overheated and sick while he and Troy are at Pride (emeto)

3  Mel assists when Amelia is sick at work (emeto)

4  Mark tries to surprise Troy at work and take him out to dinner, but homeboy isn’t feeling up to it

My OCs: Mike & Co

5  Drunk/high Colby gets sick and spends the night on a street corner (AKA that one piece of his backstory I keep referencing but have never written about) (emeto)

6  Ash gets motion sickness while he and Hannah travel by greyhound bus (AKA that one prompt I keep meaning to get to and never do) (emeto)

7  Mike has strep and Jason threatens to quarantine her

8  Colby takes Jason to hot yoga and things go very badly (emeto)

My OCs: Bostonians (H and P are in the middle of a thing, so these are going to be either prequels to their current arc or prompts for Kris and Khalil)

9  Kris is a good Samaritan when a member of the church choir faints/gets sick (emeto)

10  Hildur drags herself to the drugstore for provisions when she’s sick with the flu

11 Kris takes a depressed Khalil out to breakfast and tries to cheer him up even though he really doesn’t want to hear it (sorry this is a super weird prompt, but it’s already a wip on my computer)

12  Pierce is determined to make it through the workday even though he’s sick and looks terrible (emeto)

Captain America

13  Pre-serum Steve takes care of a drunk Bucky (Heroverse, pre-WWII) (emeto)

14  Darcy looks out for Bucky when he’s sick at work (Powers/No Powers) (emeto)

15  More on Steve and Bucky’s “not bad for the end of the world” moment in Infinity War (could possibly go nsfw; missing moments)

16  Bucky has another seizure (Whoa Bessie) (emeto)

Irondad and Spiderson

17  Tony gives Peter a talking-to about staying up all night when he stays at the facility upstate (but sometimes you really do have to study for a Spanish quiz)

18  Tony’s injured on a mission, Peter fusses, Tony objects, and Peter pulls the “if it had happened to me, you’d be fussing” card

19  Peter throws up after doing some Spider-Man acrobatics and tries to walk it off, but he’s actually sick (emeto)

20  Tony has a panic attack in front of Peter (emeto)

Other Spider-Man

21  May tries to convince Peter he doesn’t have to go to his Stark internship when he’s sick (emeto)

22  Peter comes to school sick and ragged out, and Ned tries to guess what kind of adventures Peter was up to all night as Spider-Man (“No, dude, I’m just sick.  Gimme a break.”)

23  Peter and Shuri are working on a project and Peter’s super antsy.  Shuri asks him what’s up, and Peter tries to play it cool, but he’s super nauseated (emeto)

24  Peter’s on patrol even though he has a fever, and Karen gives him all kinds of warnings

Nat on Fire

25  Nat attempts to hide a concussion (emeto)

26  Steve and Nat have a fight about Nat’s declining health

27  Nat starts using again, and Steve finds her high

28  Flashback where Nat detoxes from cocaine before joining SHIELD (emeto)

Clint & Laura

29  Laura calls Clint in sick to work (“Sorry, Nick, Clint can’t come to the phone right now.  He’s hugging the toilet.”) (emeto)

30  It’s Clint’s turn to get up and soothe the crying baby, but when he gets out of bed, it’s all he can do to get to the bathroom before he pukes (emeto)

31  Clint and Laura have date night all planned, but Clint’s sick and they end up staying in for ginger ale and saltines (emeto)

32  When your wife tells you you don’t look so good, you should probably believe her

Science Bros

33  Tony and Bruce get drunk, and Tony’s a lot more used to it than poor Bruce (emeto)

34  Tony’s new suit upgrades go amiss and he ends up motion sick (emeto)

35  The boys work out a serum to calm Bruce down after hulking out, and it ends up doing a number on his stomach (emeto)

36  The giant bag of weed mentioned in Avengers (2012) is actually a thing

Nat & Bruce

37  Nat’s injured on a mission and in a lot of pain, Bruce hovers (emeto)

38  Bruce calms down after hulking out on a mission, Nat watches out for him (emeto)

39  Nat sleeps over in Bruce’s room and wakes early with a fever.  Cue some raised eyebrows when he starts looking for ibuprofen for homegirl while the rest of the team is eating breakfast

40  Bruce is hiding/avoiding everyone because he’s sick, and Nat just wants to check that he’s ok

Black Panther

41  T’Challa does take Shuri to Coachella, and she gets overheated

42  T’Challa takes a kick to the gut in combat and has a little trouble shaking it off (emeto)

43  T’Challa’s sick and Shuri has medication for him in her lab, but she makes him wait for her to bring it to him so he won’t vomit near her precious equipment (emeto)

44  Shuri tags along to train with Okoye and T’Challa and ends up pushing herself a bit too hard (emeto)

Daredevil

45  Foggy’s sick with a fever, and he’s super confused when he sees Matt taking care of him and running around the apartment like he’s not blind at all

46  Claire’s patching Matt up after a night of vigilante shenanigans, and he vomits from the pain (emeto)

47  Karen and Matt are alone in the office when Matt gets sick, and she’s not sure how much help he needs (ensue mega hovering) (emeto)

48  Claire suspects Matt has a concussion and calls Foggy to babysit him while she goes to work even though Matt insists he’s fine (he’s not) (emeto)

Jessica Jones (JJ/Avengers crossover)

49  Jess is belligerent and drunk; she and Nat have an argument

50  Jess is hungover (emeto)

51  Jess goes on a mission with Nat and gets injured but tries to convince Nat she’s fine

52  Nat and Jess get drunk together, and Nat doesn’t fare so well (emeto)

Criminal Minds

53  Spencer’s coming down with a bug, but being on the jet makes him sick to his stomach too (emeto)

54  JJ wakes up sick in the night and Will takes care of her (emeto)

55  Spencer’s anxious and craving drugs, so JJ comes to his aid

56  Spencer feels ill and faint at a crime scene and tries to explain that he’s not overwhelmed, he’s actually sick (emeto)

Titan A.E.

57  Akima’s reckless flying gives Cale motion sickness (emeto)

58  Cale is unwell and wandering the Valkyrie in the middle of the night when he runs into Akima

59  Alternate Cale and Korso meeting: Cale’s vomiting into a trash can and Korso comes to his aid (emeto)

60  Alternate Cale and Akima meeting: Cale’s nauseous when he wakes up injured on the Valkyrie (emeto)

[pghbabesonbikes]

Frigid Bitch 2018 Results

The 5th Annual Frigid Bitch: …not the coldest, …not the warmest, …not the longest…

At 9am on Saturday February 17th, 2018, the race organizer drove down to the north shore trail to check for ice and found herself staring at the river. There was no trail. Pittsburgh was flooded, the Point was underwater, the steps and railings leading down to the trail were protruding out of 10 extra feet of river along with signage and street lights. Well shit. That would fuck up the route map. Or would it? One of the checkpoints was on the West End Bridge, (or more accurately - under it, in the pedestrian tunnel) and most cyclists would either know or check the map and see the best way to get there is to take the trail. But from the kayak rental station under the Three Sisters Bridges to the Carnegie Science Center, the trail was The Allegheny. Well, if anyone follows the map and ends up staring into the river, we’ll chalk that up to race-day obstacles. They’ll just have to find their way around it.

Set up started early at Spirit, bike-rack equipped cars were already in the lot, and randonneur extraordinaire Monica VanDieran popped in first thing for the second year in a row to grab her spokecard, manifest and shirt. A steady stream of ladies rolled into the upper lodge to register and claim a corner to huddle over their maps and start plotting routes. An hour later an announcement was made that the race would start in 30 minutes and we were at 95 registered racers, so call your friends! Pittsburgh Babes on Bikes had decided that for our 5th year, in an attempt to beat all known previous records of ladies cycling fields, 100% of the registration fee would be donated to the Greater Pittsburgh Women’s Shelter if the race broke 100 riders. 10 minutes later Ngani Ndimble and Franky Montenegro registered as 99 and 100 and a great cheer erupted around the hall. In that moment, hundreds of dollars were pledged to the Shelter and the Frigid Bitch established itself as Pittsburgh’s biggest ladies’-only race ever. Ten minutes after that, the rules and general info for the race were announced from the stage.

   Make as many checkpoints as you can. Go in any order, via any route. Ride however you want, but DON’T GET HURT. Watch out for potholes. Make sure the volunteers get your spokecard number before you roll out! If Paul Beaver tries to make you do something stupid, don’t listen to him. Don’t give my volunteers any shit. Unless they’re Paul Beaver, then give him as much shit as you want. Checkpoints close at 2, race ends at 3. You must be back at Spirit at 3pm! When you get back, FIND ME to check in. Any questions???

From there, the crowd started heading outside to gear up, unlock their bikes, and pile onto the street. One of the volunteers walked out and said “Damn, there’s so many ladies out here! It looks like we’re about to take down the government or something!” Still 5 minutes from the start, the clusterfuck on 51st street started to back up towards Stanton ave. Incoming brunchers were stuck between Butler st and Spirit, and very few racers felt inclined to make way. The clock ticked towards noon. Returning 2017 racers laughed that the light at the end of the street would again be red for the start, so at the last second the proverbial starting shot was moved to the moment that light turned green. A panicky last-minute rider showed up to register, and 106 kick-ass Frigid Bitch racers surged forward towards the checkpoints!

THE CHECKPOINTS The Button The closest checkpoint to the starting location was the Button, a concrete slab on the side of the river that doubles as a semi-secret hang-out spot. The route map showed a set of railroad tracks at the end of a nearby street, which had to be followed on the diagonal across an off-camber grassy stretch. Originally, volunteers were going to stand on the button and make racers ditch their bikes, climb down a rooty mud cliff, and clamber up next to them to get credit for the stop. HOWEVER, when the guys arrived to set up the checkpoint, they immediately realized that was not going to work. The button was completely submerged in the river. No trace of it was there to be seen. So instead, they built a fire on the traintracks and told racers they’d make extra points for shotgunning a beer (untrue). "A" for effort!

Stanton Ave Another nearby checkpoint was not at all secret - the top of the well-known brutally long climb that is Stanton Ave. Impossible to approach from any direction without slogging up one of many hills, your only option is steep or steeper. A lot of racers opted to get this checkpoint out of the way first, and then stop for a minute for one of Bruce’s hot toddies at the fire station. Hell yeah!

Troy Hill Stairs For anyone who decided to hit the button first and then make their way west, the next checkpoint down the river was the massive staircase that connects the sidewalk along route 28 to Troy Hill. Shane was hanging out at the bottom to let everyone know that the checkpoint…was much closer to the top. Some carried their bikes with them (most ditched them with Shane, who ended up fixing a few), hiked up the winding steps and were greeted by a cheerleading squad toting pickles, pineapple, whiskey, and a cowbell. Zack was hopping around and playing “Ring My Bell” by Anita Ward over and over and over on his boombot, and Ryan was yelling for racers to…wait for it…. ring the bell! to get credit for the stop. Frigid Bitch volunteers are the best!

      The West End Bridge Further down the river past the flooded out North Shore, riders had to find the staircase leading up to the West End Bridge’s pedestrian tunnel! Helpfully, Paul Beaver had decorated them out with balloons, and Tim brought back his creepy friend to point the ladies in the right direction. Colin had set up a camp stove with mulled wine and coffee in the tunnel for anyone who needed to heat up some. There was a group of ladies who sure enough, not realizing the river was flooded, not knowing another way around, made it to the washed out section of the trail and decided they were gonna just ride through the water, fuck it. “I didn’t know when I showed up for this race that I’d be biking through the Allegheny River!” Drenched, they rode with frozen feet, until Tim pulled a couple pairs of socks outta his truck and doled em out.

Water Tower on the Hill In the middle of the city, the diva of the checkpoints was the Hill District Water Tower. Anyone following the route map would go across Bigelow Blvd (either up the fast-paced bridge and through a shitty intersection, or along the sidewalk and then up and down the stairs to the pedestrian overpass), up a gnarly hill, up a worse hill, up a staircase, up a brick road, and then either find the dirt trail through the park or climb up a grass embankment where volunteers made them hug the water tower before they could move on. It ruled! Even riders who trekked their own way to the tower found themselves winding up potholed-nightmare roads and climbing other staircases.

   The Wheel Mill and Pocusset The two furthest checkpoints out were also some of the most straight forward - pretty much everyone knows where the Wheel Mill is, and Pocusset is a street that’s been turned by the city into a cyclist-only road connecting Squirrel Hill to the Greenfield Bridge. The Wheel Mill, almost at the city limits, was the furthest checkpoint from the start. The lack of traffic on Pocusset is great, but it’s also a super windy hill, and one rider bombed down it so fast in her determination to kick ass she slid out, terrifying the volunteers. She knows how to power through tho, and made it to the finish beat up but in good time. Pittsburgh was flooding, but the temps were freezing and halfway through the race snow and sleet had started falling. When riders finished and bolted down the steps of Spirit to yell out their spokecard #s, water sprayed from their helmets, down their faces and careened off their noses and gloves to spray anyone around them. Alex K said she had to ride her fixie from the button to the finish line with her signature heart-shaped sunglasses clenched in her teeth bc they were all snowed over. Ladies arrived, soaked and grinning about how hard and terrible and awesome the race was. Women who had just moved here a few months ago came out and met new cyclists, complete strangers rode together, one racer said she had been spectating at the Dirty Dozen when a woman she didn’t know asked her if she’d ever heard of the Frigid Bitch. “No, but I googled it and it looked fun so I just came out!” They were packing into the bar, taking over the tables and floor space, ordering pizza and drying out while the numbers were crunched and the results were tallied.

The Results!! 1st place! Kelly Collier #3 Caryn Willis #6 Elise Rowe #10 Taylor Kyuk-White #666

5 - Franky Montenegro #102 6 - Monica VanDieran #4 7 - Jen Damon #42 8 - Suz Falvey #99 9 - Anna Biebersmorf #86 10 - Sarah Skelly #47 11 - Sarah Ralich #16 12 - Anna Barensfeld #11 13 - Robyn Brewer #8 14 - Kelsey Kradel #19 15 - Cora Devoir #45 16 - Barbara Jensen #32 17 - Heather Knupp #25 18 - Allison Glick #72 19 - Julie Baker #70 20 - Bernadette Brogden #67 21 - Alex Korshin #62 22 - Samone Riddle #64 23 - Jessie Appleman #44 24 - Laura SanBoeuf #77 25 - Alyssa Crawford #103 26 - Ru Emmons #43 27 - Chloe Newman #36 28 - Paige Anderson #48 29 - Naomi Anderson #34 30 - Megyn Sybeldon #35 31 - Katherine Jordan #84 32 - KateCampbell #41 33 - Alex Anna Angela Shewczyk #29 34 - Jamie Martina #69 35 - Cansu Ozen #51 36 - Shaena Ulissi #26 37 - Jane Runyan #63 38 - Maria Bajzek #22 39 - Paula Zamora #28 40 - Catherina Armbruster #50 41 - Sarah Pearman #53 42 - Lindsay Dill #97 43 - Ngani Ndimble #93 44 - Lauryn Stalter #101 45 - Lan Tran #95 46 - Romina Rozar #81 47 - Sara Khalil #74 48 - Tara Seplavy #55 49 - Ania Jaroszewicz #38 50 - Riesa Lirette #14 51 - Emily Palmer #92 52 - Elise Fantom #23 53 - Emily Persico #54 54 - Dani Kramer #7 55 - Beverly Bendax #107 56 - Dayana Rivadeneira #30 57 - Bonnie Weibel #76 58 - Genevieve Everette #37 59 - Mary Jackson #73 60 - Milo Spiders #13 61 - Hayes Vif #1 62 - Sabina Sloman #98 63 - Sarah Wasilewski #83 64 - Bridget McCoy #24 65 - Catherine Oldershaw #100 66 - Leah Nicolich #56 67 - Jaime Park #33 68 - Meghan Warren #58 69 - Morgan Tunstall #59 70 - Kacyn Keys #21 71 - Ellen Kiley #40 72 - Alex Falk #27 73 - Cindy Billisits #79 74 - Katt Schuler #96 75 - Jaclyn Sternick #75 76 - Ryder Lythos #80 77 - Tobin Seastedt #20 78 - Shannon Kenyon #12 79 - Erin Potts #60 80 - Molly Orzechowski #18 81 - Cat Woodson #31 82 - Susan Carlson #46 83 - Sally Folan #15 84 - Laura Jones #57 85 - Joanne Anderson #39 86 - Sara Crawford #49 87 - Rachel Ding #78 88 - Rebecca Jacobson #61 89 - Elayne Filio #17 90 - Nancy Jones #87 91 - Jolynn Gibson #2 92 - Maureen Duncan #9 93 - Athena Marsh #85 94 - Rachel Zaydak #52 95 - Katie Blackburn #65 96 - Joi Roboch #104 97 - Holly Wik #66 98 - Dirty Jones #71 99 - Erica Gamerro #88 100 - Demetra Czegan #68 101 - Amanda Glevicky #89 102 - Gina Gowins #91 103 - Megan Lovett #90 104 - Hana Swift #82 105 - Sarah Grossman #94 106 - Carrisa Mendez #105

            The Donation This exhilarating bitch of a race definitely has its obstacles - from the cold, snow, ice, floods, stairs, mud, brick… - but registration fees won’t be one of them. As long as we are running it, it will always be $5. With 106 registered racers, all of whom made it to the minimum 1 checkpoint, the registration money in its entirety will be donated to the Women’s Shelter this year. Inspired by that goal, registration #s were matched by two outside benefactors, bringing the amount raised to $905. Congratulations to all the ladies who hauled themselves to Spirit; YOU made that happen! Two decades ago 100 pro cyclist women raced the streets of Pittsburgh in pursuit of the US championship and a $25,000 prize purse. This year at the Frigid Bitch you broke that record in the pursuit of alley-cat glory and support of victims of domestic violence. Pgh Babes on Bikes is so proud, and grateful for making our 100+ rider dream come true, we are going to bump that number up to $1,000. Cuz it just feels like a good number to put on a check. THANK YOU to all of the racers who came out to bust apart records, kick ass and grant wishes. Thanks to all the volunteers, for showing up, cheering, bringing hot booze, doing hilarious shit and gettin creative with your stops! Thanks to the photographers for memorializing this race forever and catching everyone’s glee and embarrassing moments! Thank you to the video team; we CAN’T WAIT to see what you do with the race footage! Thank you to my lovely assistants and stage bouncer, and to my little brother for the epic, amazing, incredible artwork. THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS, who donate mountains of swag so no matter how big our numbers get, everyone gets rad stuff!

                                                                                                SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

[hollywoodx4]

Sticking With the Schuylers (47)

I’m alive! I worked one million hours and got through Open House and met my new teacher’s assistant and it’s all good. 

So now, children, buckle up for more storytime.

1  2  3  4   5   6   7   8   9   10   1112   I  13  14   15   16   17   18A  18B   18C  I  19   20   21   22   23   24   25  26   27  28   29   I  30  31  32 33 34  35  36  37  38  39 40  41  42 I 43  44  B  45  46

Tagging: @linsnavi  @workworkbae​ @adothoe @oosnavi​

Warnings: This story is pretty heavy on mentions of both physical and emotional abuse.

Pudgy hands smooth themselves over a fresh expanse of white-the only piece of the surrounding area that has gone unscathed. They spread out layers of fresh paint from a large plastic pallet, where a copious amount of each color had been deposited and messed into spots of brown from mixing colors. A tongue pokes out from the corner of a little toddler mouth, pouty lips drawn into a fantastically concentrated smile. The toddler bops along to the upbeat music his mother sings as she moves about the kitchen. He works quietly on his art. There is a deep, caffeinated scent of chocolate that floats through the air as the mother opens the oven, and in a way that all baked goods do it snaps the toddler’s head up, drawing him away from his work with a mischievous smile.   He raises his hands, both smeared with a rainbow of color, and wiggles his fingers at his mother with wide and pleading eyes.

               “No, no, James. Not yet. We have to wait for daddy to get home.” This makes the toddler, who had turned in his chair completely, jut out his lower lip in a theatrical sense of sadness. His mother merely laughs.

               “Please, mommy?”

               “No, sweetheart. Wouldn’t daddy be sad if he came home and there wasn’t any cake for him? And besides, what is this cake missing?” She brings the confection closer to her son, fingers tracing the outline of bare brown. Although it is magnificently spongey, and the smell tempts the toddler to draw his face to the cake right then and there, he knows immediately what is missing.

               “Frosting! We need frosting!”

               “That’s right, we do. Would you like to help me make some?”

               The little boy is so excited that he nearly tips over in his chair, paint-stained hands leaving their mark as he catches himself on its back. He covers his mouth with his hands in shock, leaving a beard of primary colors over his face. Feeling the difference in textures-the rapidly drying paint that has stained the chair and his face-James glances upon the mess he has made in the kitchen with his pouty lips turned into an ‘o.’

               “Sorry, mama.” Julie shakes her head and her eyes, a grassy sort of brown, warm at her son’s messy complexion and apologetic stance. The kitchen is a mess, paint splattered seemingly everywhere but the canvas she had given him. Flour and sugar and cake crumbs dust the counter and the floor, and she feels immediately blessed that the ingredients are dry and will not stain the dark hardwood they had just installed.

               On the wall by the refrigerator, Julie Reynolds keeps a row of cleaning supplies at proper level for her son to reach. She’d purchased the miniature broom, dustpan, and cleaner on a late-night catalog skim, and had implemented it into a chore chart and reward system. Her husband hadn’t been too thrilled; the responsibility factor had been something he’d shrugged at, seemingly an unimportant way to teach such a high value. ‘He’ll learn to be responsible by watching,’ Scott had said. But his wife had been upset, and James so busied by the chores, that he chose to let the beautiful hanging display stay.  This is a savior to Julie, who has begun doing the pile of dishes that have accumulated in the kitchen. James knows exactly what to do; the almost three year-old scurries to his little blue broom and haphazardly brushes his mess away. It isn’t perfect by any means-the debris is difficult for tiny hands and a broom made more for imaginary play than actual cleaning. He’s proud, though; his glassy, green-blue eyes are wide and shining as he looks down at his handiwork, which includes multiple minuscule piles of flour and dirt.

Right as he is about to show his mother the slightly cleaned floor, the sound of heavy footsteps makes its way into the kitchen. James turns around immediately, bouncing up and down on his toes before jumping up into his father’s arms. His toddler chatter is incessant and loud, focusing on not one thing but all of them as he points frantically to various points of the kitchen.  His father’s face brightens, if only just by a small candles worth of light. But at his young age James is unable to recognize the lack of sincerity in his father’s voice as he praises him for his hard work. His father is home from a long day at the ‘big building,’ and James is ecstatic.

There is a period of silence as Scott Reynolds holds his son, looking upon the kitchen with the forced smile painted upon his face. Then, he puts his son on the floor.

“Go play, buddy,” he prods. “I’ll come and play with you in a minute.”

James runs off happily, glowing in his father’s well placed praise as he runs off to the playroom. He doesn’t make it far-just around the corner, in fact-before the cacophony of voices hits his ears. The shouting is sharp, unfamiliar and frightening, and his mess-caked hands fly over his ears.  He is struck with a sense of curiosity, heart beating rapidly in his chest as he attempts to discern what might be going on. His father’s voice mixes with his mother’s, loud and booming over her gentle tones.

There are key words he understands; stop and no and Scott, but there’s a wider range to his father’s vocabulary that he has never heard before. Worthless, stupid, bitch…they hit young ears with the sharpness of a knife, meaning translating only through his father’s harsh tone.

James watches from the hallway as his father walks by him, sparing not even a glance before going into his office and slamming the door. The three year old stands still in shock for a moment, confused and slightly frightened by all of the noise. Then, he makes his way back into the kitchen.

Julie Reynolds has the pristine cake in her hands, looking down upon the intricate frosting letters with dismay. Her eyes are red and glassy, and she draws in half of a shaking breath in rapid pace, as if somebody is going to steal away the oxygen from the room. She tosses the cake in the trash-hours of work depleted and degraded in only three minutes time. She doesn’t notice her son’s presence until she puts the trash away, in the pantry by the doorway where he’s standing with his hands folded neatly in front of him.

“Mama,” James picks his broom off of the floor and begins to brush. The uneven sound of thick bristles against hardwood, the innocence of toddler humming, slightly out of tune…they fill the empty spaces in the atmosphere. Where there had once been dissonance and fear there is now a swell of love, one which sweeps Julie across the kitchen to wrap James in a warm, engulfing hug.

“Love you, mama.” Her son buries his head in the crook of her neck, and she cries.

…

His mother cries a lot. She looks at him with wet eyes. She tells him she loves him a lot. He stays at daycare a little bit longer.

…

His mother is quiet. She doesn’t let him help in the kitchen much anymore. She likes to tuck him in by herself. Daddy comes home late.

…

His footsteps are loud and foreboding. At six years old, James knows that his mother is bound to quiet her singing once she takes notice of them. She has dinner on the table when he comes sauntering in to the kitchen, kissing his head and his mother’s cheek before digging into his plate. James fills the room with chatter; he had just started private school at this point, in his khakis and button up shirt, and he wears them with immense pride. His head of thick black curls had been buzzed to peach fuzz for the occasion, a cut that makes him look significantly older than his Power Rangers lunchbox would suggest. He recounts the walk to school with his mother, meeting his teacher, and getting to play kickball with a group of boys from his class. He’d enjoyed the day so much that he begs to go back the next day-back to the place where his name is on a desk and he has to wear fancy clothes like his father. Scott sends a smile across the table that makes James’s heart swell with love. He straightens the buttons on his tiny blue shirt, puffing his chest out with pride. Even his mother, who had been so quiet when his father had come home, laughs and jokes with them. James can barely stop from bouncing in his seat. He is happy.

…

He’s seven year old the day that it happens-the shift. Life had been filled with excitement and love at this point, with his parents taking him to soccer games across the city since the first leaf had turned yellow-since his mother began to drink coffee that smelt like pie. They trekked all over, following teams dressed in blue and red and yellow, cheering on whoever seemed to be winning at the time. James didn’t care. His father would lean over and point out the rules, explaining things with careful patience and answering all of his questions. They’d get giant pretzels and dip them in dripping cheese that he’d lick from his fingers.  And at the end of the day, his mother would carry him the whole way home while his father spoke in soft tones to her. This fall is the best piece of his life, his seven year-old mind decides half asleep in his mother’s arms after their team wins. The air is growing colder, but he is bundled in their arms. He loves going places with his family.

Julie Reynolds decides to spend this particular brisk Sunday morning taking James museum hopping, amplifying his interest in dinosaurs and ancient Egypt. She’s a fan of keeping his intellect sharp and his education extended, creating activities throughout the city to keep him occupied. It’s been working; his teachers compliment her on his curiosity and drive, and he hasn’t had a problem since the hitting incident last year. She’s thankful. He asks her one million questions with his hand tugging her along, poking at the glass and hanging with bits of his weight from the velvet dividing rope. They stop to stare at the colossal t-rex skeleton, where he makes her read each bit of information she can find. He listens with intense concentration. She has to break him away so they have time to see the rest of the museum.

They return from their excursion with handfuls of souvenirs; t-shirts and toy dinosaurs and astronaut food he pretends to enjoy through pursed lips. James hoists his treasures in the air, explaining in minute and well-remembered detail what each of the dinosaurs used to be like. This time, his father doesn’t seem to be listening. He picks up on Scott’s crossed arms; his nods and short answers. After dinner, he’s sent straight to his room to play.

The shouting starts again, just as he’s half way up the stairs. James stops with a shock, his feet planted on the stairs in fright. He’s not sure what is happening, but with age comes a better understanding of the words his father throws at his mother. He knows that they aren’t good; his teacher had once sent one of his friends to the headmaster for saying bitch. But he’s not sure what it all means, this sudden explosion of sound. His father’s volume is unfamiliar, his tone a foreign language to James’s ears.  He sits on the stairs, on the step just above the space where the banister meets the wall, and watches. Their shadows dance across the wall at the landing, a show his eyes never leave with a racing heart. There is a noise that sends James flying from his seat, an echoing bang as one of the shadows drops out of view. Then, there are murmured apologies, his father’s loud footsteps moving about again. His mother’s voice is too quiet to make out.

They have steak for dinner that night. James asks his mother to cut it for him. Her rich, deep-toned skin, from elbow to hand, is covered in an elongated shadow of water-colored black and blue. He runs his little fingers along the marking, looking up at her with concern.

“What happened, mama?”

“It’s nothing, sweetheart.” Her voice cracks slightly. She doesn’t look at him when she speaks. “Mama just tripped in the living room. I’m alright.”

She pushes his plate back toward him, and he doesn’t ask any more questions.

…

               He isn’t sure why he hit his friend at school. His mother’s eyes are red and glassy when she picks him up from the headmaster’s office.

…

               There is one day, when he is ten years old, that he later forces his mind to erase from all forms of recollection.

               His father shows brute strength and bared teeth; hisses through them the harshest words James has ever heard. He knows that the lacy underwear his mother had been holding up are not hers. His thoughts cross paths with the words that come from his mother’s mouth, bold as a mouse picking a fight with a lion. This isn’t the first time this has happened, that much is clear by the tears from one side and the tensed muscles from the other. It isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. But something is different about this night, with his mother standing in front of his father, saying the words she never wanted to admit to herself.

               It’s those words that ignite the flame.

               There’s a ringing in James’ ear, rapid and intense, that sets a temporary block to the rest of his senses. His feet are magnetized to the ground, heavy and hard as he watches his mother’s body hit the side of the kitchen counter. The terrible ringing covers his ability to hear, but he is grateful for that as his mother’s lips spread and contort in a twisting sort of agony. She stumbles away, pushes herself off of the cabinet before she’s slammed right back into it. It’s a temporary break in the sensory barrier when he hears the sound of cracking bones, but it’s enough to propel his body forward. He screams-he’s not sure what words are coming out of his mouth or what effect they’ll have, but he stands between his father and his mother with his pouty lips quivering, eyes hard and intimidating although they still bare the glassy tears of a child whose innocence was not meant for moments like this. His father scoffs and asks him to step away. The memory breaks. The last piece of the night he can see is the way his mother cried in his arms, the press of her lips against the thick curls he’d just begun to grow out again.

…

               They don’t talk about that night. His mother folds into herself. His father acts as if nothing happened. In time, he begins to believe it.

…

His father works long hours. Sometimes, James is even allowed to spend some time with him at the office. He explains the basics of what he does, in terms an eleven year old child would understand. He loves going to the office; there is a large row of windows that overlook the city, and from high up in the skyscraper he can see each little yellow taxi as an ant in a colony, shifting and moving and doing their busywork as he stretches out on the floor above them. He feels like a king in his father’s big office, with all of the people that come in and out during the day. They get lunch delivered to them by a nice girl who smiles kindly at him and makes sure he has extra pickles on his hamburger. His father takes breaks to play soccer with him on the small stretch of floor in front of his desk.

He is still full of questions; at eleven years old, curiosity spins itself into well-calculated questions, ones that open conversation because he is afraid he might run out of time.

“I take all the stupid people,” he says as James spins in his big black office chair. ”and I prove them wrong. You can do anything you want if you have a brain in your head and an argument to give.”

…

Things are different on his first day of middle school. He doesn’t want his mother to walk with him anymore. He tags along with the same four faces he’s been friends with since that first day in uniform. He’s kept his hair buzzed-it keeps the sweat from his neck and his sea glass eyes bright against tawny, lightly freckled skin. He carries cleats and Gatorade everywhere he goes. Despite being a sixth grader, James is no benchwarmer. He’s already been assigned starting position for the first soccer game of the season. Middle school is amazing.

He likes to keep one button on his uniform undone; it makes him feel cooler. He makes new friends. Around him, there is a gradual change in the air. He keeps his head up even higher than before. His tongue grows sharp as he begins fighting back; for bad grades, or heinous calls by the ref in his soccer games. It seems to work. The world begins to clear its path for James Reynolds-for the son of a high-profile lawyer. He’s proud of where he’s come from. He carries an argument in his pocket wherever he goes.

…

               “Hey dad,” James stands in the doorway of his father’s office, shuffling from one foot to the other as his eyes scan the room. It’s quiet, the time of evening where each member of the house usually retires to their own activities. His mother is in the living room with a gigantic jigsaw puzzle and a glass of wine, his father in the sprawling, modernly decorated and slightly cluttered office space. James would typically be in his room, watching tv or on the phone with his friends. Tonight, he can’t seem to wind down.

               The air in the room is glazed with a layer of sharp, woodsy cologne and an undertone of the amber-colored whiskey that touches Scott’s lips as he looks up from his work. He nods, an unspoken invitation to enter the room, but James hesitates. He folds his hands in front of him, laces his fingers together. One thumb pushes on the other, curls the skin at his knuckle. When the lack of speech becomes palpable, awkward and thinning the oxygen from the room, Scott looks up at his son. He raises his eyebrow and leans back in his chair, resting his arms behind his neck.

               “What is it, James?”

               “Well…” His voice comes out small at first, muted and gentle and rehearsed. He’d been waiting for the right moment to have this conversation, and now the preteen feels as if his tongue had swelled in size, or the oxygen has stopped flowing to his brain. His body continues its slow rocking, back and forth.

               “Why is mom so different lately?” It isn’t the most tactful way to bring the subject up, nor is it the way he wants to address the situation. But his father’s interest is piqued; he takes another sip of the whiskey in his ornate little glass, the ice cube clinking against its sides. The sound ricochets off of the walls, the mahogany built-ins holding stacks of books about law and argument and ways to fight back.  

               “Your mother is just miserable.” There’s a moment-a twitch at the corner of Scott’s mouth. It snaps back into a frown almost as instantly as his awkward facial change had happened. His swiveling chair squeaks as he stands. James draws in a subconscious breath of air. He watches as his father ambles about the room, running his hand along stacks of paperwork as he cradles his whiskey in the other. In one sip, Scott drains the glass of the rest of its contents and sets it down on a coaster. He crosses the room after some contemplation, leaning back against his desk. His palms are spread over the ledge, one leg crossed over the other.

               “I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all of this, James.” James frowns, eyes narrowed slightly in question. “Your mother hasn’t really been here for you lately. She hasn’t been doing her job. You shouldn’t have to put up with that.”

               He’s not sure what to say; the love he has for his mother has always swelled in his heart, encompassed him in warmth and security. These new words, these opinions…he doesn’t want to feel the agreement that settles into his mind. His mother has been distant. It isn’t fair.

…

               He spends more time out of the house than in it. When he is there-for bed and on nights he’s not occupied by sports or friends-the air feels thick and hard to take in. His father smiles and chats and keeps things going by himself. His mother is quiet, but she keeps up.

               James does not recognize the chemical change in his brain as it is happening; it isn’t for some time until he realizes that the opinions he had held through childhood-all of the truths he’d have defended to the ends of the earth-feel wrong and even embarrassing to think of. His mother becomes a distant figure with drooping posture and solemn, silent voice, unwilling to find compromise. His father eclipses the bright light she’d once held in his mind. Now he is even more of a brilliant man, proud and strong, taking charge of his own life. Any cloud that may have been over him from the past has been blown away, cleared by autumn after autumn of floor seating at soccer games or private parties for him and his friends. He spends more time with his father than with his mother. They just don’t have anything in common anymore. Besides, she’s sad all the time now. Her skin, once ebony smooth, grows thin little crop lines when she frowns. She’s always frowning.

               “Your connections are more important than anything else in this world,” It’s a bit he gets from his father as they stand side-by-side in his office. He’s just closed an important case, one that had him as the victim rather than the worker trying to save them. James hadn’t expected his nanny, his dear and wonderful Lani, to go after their money. But his father had won, and now they were celebrating.

…

               “She’s a whore.”

               It’s a sound between a chuckle and a scoff that comes out of Scott Reynolds at the country club’s Christmas party. He’s pointing to his wife. The group of men they’re standing with-executives and CEOs-laugh too.

               James feels the bounce of his stomach-the snicker-as he fits himself into their circle.

…

               “She’s kind of delusional…you’d have to see it to believe it.”

James rolls his eyes. In one hand he nurses a glass of whiskey. The other is in his pocket, with his thumb on the outside. The men in his circle throw their gazes toward the girl in question, who’s entertaining an enraptured crowd with animated features. Her face is the shape of the moon, rounded and illuminating as such. When she smiles, and the peal of harmonious bell-laughter escapes her, her cheer fills the room with a shower of optimism. Her hair falls in smooth, loose curls down her shoulders, covers the opened back of her dress. She turns after some time of their eyes on her; flashes James a smile with just the turn of her lips. A redness creeps across her lifted cheeks, and she turns before they can see it expand.

“Eliza Schuyler? Delusional?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love her. I’m telling you though, there are days…she gets stuck on the littlest arguments. It’s like, jesus, find me some relief, you know?”

“At least she’s hot.” The other men laugh and James turns his body to directly face the one who’s made this comment. He’s a bit smaller than James in height, his stouter body fit in a badly tailored suit. He looks the man up and down-he’s a financial advisor for some tech company. He’s ridiculous. He’s not worth anything. While his smile brings about a sense of comradery and agreement, the storm of James’s dazzling eyes, with which he’s sure to  make contact with the man’s, read as a threat.

“Don’t get too excited about it, man. She’s mine.”

His voice is smooth as glass, carrying his lifted posture and warning glances as charming, jesting. The stout man lets out a half-hearted, nervous sort of chuckle, and when Eliza makes her way over to them he won’t even spare a glance her way.

“And here she is now, my beautiful girl.” James has a way of making Eliza blush. He wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her into his side. The other men look on in envy. He flashes his immaculately white teeth in a Cheshire cat smile. “I was just telling the guys how wonderful you are.”

…

               “Elizabeth, you’re being crazy again.” She draws herself back at these words, aimed at her with a shaded sort of venom he doesn’t try to hide. His arm is still around her shoulder. She shrinks.

               “I just asked you a question, James.”

               “And I gave you an answer!”

               They’re sitting on the bed, Eliza with a book in her lap and James scrolling through his phone. It had been a normal night-he’d stopped over after work. She cooked, they ate, and then they’d had sex.  And now, sitting up side by side in her queen sized bed, things had grown awkward.

               He hadn’t been doing anything out of the ordinary-nothing to make Eliza speak to him the way that she had. She’d been furious, in his mind. She’d been out of hand; making assumptions out of thin air and creating a problem where there isn’t one. That’s been her deal lately, her hobby. Eliza would find a moment and turn it into a battle of wits. She’d set him up, find the cracks in his foundation, and then leave him looking like a bad person when she cried. He’d only yell because she set him off. He’d only yell when she wouldn’t listen to him. But there was always another fight to be picked.

               He refuses to put his phone down. Eliza sits further up in bed; props her body on the headboard and presses her fingers to her closed eyelids. She lets out a sigh, just audible enough for James to hear. His gut stirs with boiling, irritated heat.

               “What now?”

               “Nothing.”

               “No, now you’ve opened the door so I’ll let you say what’s on your mind. Go ahead, tell me.”

               “I don’t think you’re being one-hundred percent truthful about this.”

               “Why, because you read one thing? One little thing you took out of context, from a conversation you read over my shoulder?”

               “James,”

               “-You’re looking for problems now! You’re looking for problems, and you can’t deal with the fact that this new job has me working more hours than you’d like.

“-That’s not”

“Well, it’s happening. If I could switch my hours I would but this job is so important to me. You wouldn’t make me choose, would you?” She shakes her head, the beginnings of tears pricking the corners of her eyes. She blinks them away, only lets her eye contact linger for a few seconds at a time. His features soften into a well-calculated turn of lips that makes her mirror him.

“It’s nothing, babe. She’s a girl I work with, it’s an inside joke. I don’t know why you’re always making me out to be the bad guy. I’m not a bad guy.”

“I know.” She closes her book then, rests it on the bedside table before curling into his side. He brushes her hair away from her face-it’s always there, wild and unarranged, and brushing against his bare skin. It makes his nose wrinkle, but she doesn’t notice. Her eyes are closed. She is smiling. “I’m sorry.”

…

               Her name is Hannah, and it’s only casual. There is nothing to tell Eliza. He’s not obligated to tell her anything.

…

               He thinks it’s a good idea, moving in together. It’s the next step, the only way to solidify their relationship the way it is. And she has been so testy lately, so willing to argue every little thing, that it’s necessary. She doesn’t seem to be too thrilled-of course. She’s young, she doesn’t know what she needs or even what she wants. James is here to guide her. She needs to be steered in the right direction.

               Angelica slams boxes onto their floor. She scoffs at him and hugs Eliza with tight arms and a prolonged hold. She’s never respected their relationship, not in the months that it has been going on. Elizabeth has been ricocheting between sides, unable to decipher her own opinions while they’re being debated back and forth so vehemently. They don’t argue in front of her, even though Angelica needs to take a lesson from Peggy; shut her mouth and just unpack boxes.

               She keeps getting in the way of their relationship. She’s brainwashing Eliza. Maybe that’s why she’s been so distant lately. Maybe she needs to spend more time with him instead.

…

               She’s his girlfriend. And as his girlfriend, she should want to have sex with him. There isn’t anything wrong with a little instigation. She always likes it, in the end.

…

               Eliza has no right to leave. She’s being delusional again. He hasn’t done anything to her. She’s blowing things out of proportion. And of course, she’s going to call her fucking sister again. Angelica is always getting in the middle of their business. Both of her sisters are. It’s not fair, not right that she loves them more than she loves him. They have an apartment. They have history. She has no right to leave.

               Someone he doesn’t know comes to collect her things, someone she’s hired. They won’t say a word about where she is, or who she’s with. He watches them come and go with his arms crossed over his chest. His shoulders lock in place, fingers curling and uncurling with tension. She has no right to leave him.

…

               She’s using this guy, the one with the ponytail and the bad taste in clothing. He looks like he’s fourty and four simultaneously. And she’s in all of his pictures, with long-winded captions this guy has written. Alex has thousands of comments on every single one of them. Alex doesn’t know her the way James does. He hasn’t seen her at her worst.  And when he does, she’ll come back to James. He’s sure of it.

               But the pictures keep coming; one after the other, in tabloids and on social media. Everywhere he turns, he’s subjected to their pressed-together faces in a selfie, or a candid of them walking arm-in-arm. Alex is walking with his Elizabeth. She’s taking him to brunch, she took him to the Christmas party. At each turn, with each photograph or article passed his way, James feels the slingshot coil inside of his stomach pull back another inch. It’s igniting a small grouping of embers. There’s gasoline waiting.

               She’s throwing him in James’s face. She’s using Alex to get him back. This unkempt, slightly crazed, wannabe poet of a man isn’t the kind of guy Elizabeth needs. He’s no man. There isn’t an inheritance, or a place in society…there isn’t a redeeming quality within the guy, and yet it’s been months of pictures and feigned happiness. He wonders when she’ll pick up on his cues. It shouldn’t take long. She should be back soon.

…

               He’s in the car on his way from the office when he first sees the picture. The slingshot is pulled a little tighter. She uses little hearts in her caption, words it with such delicacy that he nearly believes that she actually loves the man in each little piece of her collage. He restrains the flame-ridden noise that rises in his chest. He reads the comments when he gets home, flips through them before taking off his jacket. There are already over two thousand of them. There are more little hearts. There is hardly any disappointment. She doesn’t belong with this man. Why can’t anybody see that?

               This is just another projectile, another match thrown into his flame. She’s trying to win him back, that much is clear. She hasn’t posted much about Alex until this point, her social media filled with photos of falling snow and cups at cafes and pairs of boots against white powdered sidewalks. Since he had anonymously mentioned getting back together-he knows she’s read the article, of course she has-she’s posted more and more about this man. More than she had before.

               She’s always been a tease. Refusing him has been her game, this picture her next move. Eliza isn’t really happy, she hadn’t been happy without James and she won’t be happy until she has him again. A smile plays at the corner of his mouth. The slingshot pulls itself tighter; she’s just spilled gasoline on his fire. He’s ready to accept her cries for help. He’s ready to win her back.

“Happy birthday to my man

Thank you for being my rock, my best friend, my favorite. Thank you for the late night Snapchats, putting on suits for me, and making me laugh.

I love you more  than an Instagram post could convey, and 23 has never looked so good.”

[chinigan]

WHOO BOY HERE WE GO

I was tagged by @game-of-grump What a cool dude y’all should go follow them

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people (THAT’S A LOT OF STATEMENTS)

The last: (1) drink: lemon lime water (drink that agua kids) (2) phone call: my mum like last week cause i lost her in town (3) text message: LMAO I don’t actually text much I’m p/ sure the last text I sent was in like july or something i do not remember (4) song you listened to: Imaginary Parties by Superfruit (Y’ALL IT’S SUCH A JAM LISTEN TO IT) (5) time you cried: sometime last week? or this week... whenever I posted about crying at the past 3 things I watched and that I bet I would cry at despicable me 3 (i didn’t) (6) dated somebody twice: I think once when I was like 16 so young and stupid and thought he deserved a second chance (LMAO NAH) (7)kissed someone and regretted it: Again, I was young and stupid (probably around 16-17 too) (8)have been cheated on: not that I’m aware of, never happened (9)lost someone special: Several.  (10)been depressed: since I was born till right this second lmao (11)gotten drunk and thrown up: uuuuuh sometime last year at uni (I remember nothing from that night to this day) (12) favourite colours to wear: Grey (13) Black (14) White (I’ll die for my minimalist aesthetic In The Last Year Have You: (15)made new friends: YES I’m such a slut for making new friends (16)fallen out of love: in terms of fake friends then yes (17)laughed until you cried: u ain’t laughing right if u ain’t crying while doing it (18)found out somebody was talking about you: probably (I’m oblivious to drama that involves me I only live for other peoples drama) (19)met somebody who changed you: probably I can’t think of any one specifically (20)found out who your friends are: my dragon age inquisition crew are the only squad I need now (21)kissed somebody on your Facebook list: yes (22)how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I have 125 facebook friends and I know every single one of them (23)do you have any pets: I HAVE A PERSIAN-TABBY CAT CALLED JASPER AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM (24)do you want to change your name: every day. I do not like my name and am tired of a life time of people saying and spelling it wrong. (25)what did you do for your last birthday: threw a sick party with my house mates at uni (I GOT A PIÑATA AND EVERYTHING) (26)what time did you wake up: 9:30AM (27)what were you doing at midnight: playing dragon age inquisition (28)name something you can’t wait for: HALLOWEEN (29)when was the last time you saw your mom: 10 minutes ago (30)what are you listening to rn: this (on repeat because reasons) (31)have you ever talked to somebody named Tom: Buddy, have you ever talked to 4 Tom’s at once? Cause I have and it’s a wild ride (32)something that gets on your nerves: Fuckin.... shitty loud kids on planes/trains/any transport that is typically quiet (33)most visited website:  probably a tie between tumblr and youtube (34)hair color: black/grey fade (35)long or short hair: short af (36)do you have a crush on somebody: more like do I want to crush somebody (37)what do you like about yourself: my art cause FUCK if I haven’t improved so much from the shitty invader zim drawings I used to do in science class (38)piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but neeldlephobia got the better of me so they healed up (39)blood type: O something (I forgot if it’s neg or pos) (40)nickname: sket, foghorn (lovingly given by my uni housemates) (42)relationship status: taken (43)zodiac: taurus bby (44)pronouns: man idgaf u can refer to me as a potato for all I care lmao (45)favorite tv shows: literally anything with richard horvitz, rick and morty, Endeavor, it’s to late to think of any other but cartoons. (46)tattoos: 3!  (47)right or left handed: right handed (48)surgery: nope! (I’ve had a lumbar puncture tho (not surgery)) (49)piercing: none (50)sport: when I was younger... I used to be on a badminton team, netball team, hockey team, lacross team, I used to be so active (then video games happened) (51)vacation: in terms of where I’ve been? Italy, France, Egypt, Bahrain (I think thats it??? ? ? ?) (52)pair of trainers: do I own any??? no. I have skate shoes so close enough (53)eating: dark mint kit kat  (54)fav drink: Irn Bru (it’s in my blood) (55)what you’re up to: watching youtube shit posts cause fuck sleep (56)waiting for: the sweet embrace of death (57)want: more PS4 games but I’m poor (58)get married: LMAO NO (59) career: catch me in 2020 on the lead animator credits for minions 2 (I’m joking, but I do want to work for illumination) (60)hugs or kisses: hug me bitch (61)lips or eyes: eyes (62)shorter or taller: idgaf  (63)older or younger: eeeeehhhhh probably older if I really had to pick one (64)nice arms or stomach: arms (65)hook up or relationship: idc (66)troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant (67)kissed a stranger: absolutely not (68)drank hard liquor: of course (69)lost glases/contact lenses: lost/broken/damaged glasses (70)turned someone down: yea (71)sex in the first date: NAH MAN U CAN’T BREAK THE ACE SPACE (72)broke someone’s heart: I have (I still feel bad about it) (73)had your heart broken: more than once (74)been arrested: nope (75)cried when someone died: like a bitch (76)fallen for a friend: yes Do You Believe In: (77)yourself: not really (78)miracles: sometimes (79)love at first sight: no (80) Santa Claus: of course (81) kiss on the first date: eeeehhh idk I’d judge that individually (82) angels: yes Other: (83)current best friends names: Sarah, Josh, Dan, Jak (84)eye color: hazel/green (85) favorite movie: animated: who framed roger rabbit (partially animated?) or the book of life non-animated: the pitch perfect seires (GIVE ME THE 3RD ONE ALREADY)

whooo boy that took a while

I don’t think I can tag 20 people so I’ll tag 10 and if you want to do it but haven’t been tagged this is me telling u to do it (but u don’t have to if you don’t want to! it’s a lot to work through: @i-love-my-corner @rottenplantt @markimoot @birdurer @insaincat @grumpykramer @avidaddy @avibang-bang @gigglygrumps @amirrorcalledthemoon 

[youngmutants]

get to know me (tag)

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. I was tagged byyyy @krijgsonthaal thank uuuu i cant sleep so here we gooo LAST: 1. Drink: mint tea 
2. Phone call: mom 
3. Text message: an inside joke to my sister 
4. Song you listened to: something by bazart i think 
5. Time you cried: a few days ago i had my post graduation breakdown lol HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: i havent even dated someone once 
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 
8. Been cheated on: no haha 
9. Lost someone special: yes 
10. Been depressed: hm 
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope and not planning to LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: the 3 primary colors (blue, yellow, red - in that order) IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yea 
16. Fallen out of love: havent been in love in the first place ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
17. Laughed until you cried: multiple times 
18. Found out someone was talking about you: nah 
20. Found out who your friends are: yea 
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: what even ?? GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them? i believe its weird to add ppl you dont know on facebook? 
23. Do you have any pets: heck yea 
24. Do you want to change your name: its a bit weird maybe but i think it would be cool if my name was just "han" (so it would me more gender neutral?) 
25. What did you do for your last birthday: eat dim sum and study for my german exam 
26. What time do you wake up: around 10 in the morning 
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: youtube probably 
28. Name something you can’t wait for: better weather so i can wear my new clothes i guess 
29. When was the last time you saw your mom? just now before i went to bed 
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my sleep schedule lmao 
31. What are you listening to right now: my july spotify playlist (right now: my escape by bent van looy) 
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes i had a pretty good friend named tom when i was 14 (idk where he is now tho) 
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: donald trump 
34. Most visited website: youtube, tumblr 
35. Mole/s: some small ones 
36. Mark/s: stretch markz yo 
37. Childhood dream: i had no idea what i wanted to be when i grew up, i only cared about winx club 
38. Hair color: black 
39. Long or short hair: short short short 
40. Do you have a crush on someone: i crush on everyone who is nice to me basically 
41. What do you like about yourself: im empathetic i guess?? 
42. Piercings: my ears are pierced ... ? 
43. Blood type: no idea hahahhaa woops 
44. Nicknames? han !! 
45. Relationship status: single singel sningle 
46. Zodiac: gemini 
47. Pronouns: .... what are those 
48. Favorite TV Show: pushing daisies 
50. Right or left hand: right 
51. Surgery: nah 
52. Hair dyed in different color: dude i wish 
53. Sport: dont know what that is 
55. Vacation: going to malta soon! 
56. Pair of trainers: a lot MORE GENERAL: 
57. Eating: ❤️🍍🍜🧀🍕🌮🍙🍚🍣 
58. Drinking: apple cherry juice & tea 
59. I’m about to: sleep 
62. Want: more money, more time, more love 
63. Get married: nah 
64. Career: city guide, museum person (?), travel things or language teacher for foreigners 
65. Hugs or kisses: hugs but only if im reALLY close to this person 
66. Lips or eyes: bothhhhh 
67. Shorter or taller: dont care 
68. Older or younger: rather around the same age as me actually 
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice everything? 
71. Sensitive or loud: i dont caaare as long as theyre kind 
72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: doesnt matter HAVE YOU EVER: 
74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 
75. Drank hard liquor: i guess 
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: oooh boi yes 
77. Turned someone down: nah 
78. Sex on the first date: no way 
79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope not 
80. Had your heart broken: nah 
81. Been arrested: hell no 
82. Cried when someone died: yes 
83. Fallen for a friend: probably DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
84: Yourself: 🙃 
85. Miracles: hm 
86. Love at first sight: nah 
87. Santa Claus: :( 
88. Kiss on the first date: maybe a lil peck OTHER: 
90. Current best friend name: teresa 
91. Eye color: brown 
92. Favorite movie: probably x men apocalypse alright if you want to do this let me know and ill tag u ! tagsquad this one is long af so if u got time u can do it if you want @aatsushiis @magnvs-baen @ishouldprobablychangemyusername @murkybokuto but yall dont have to ofc much love xoxo

[mybitchborky]

tagged by @spideysosterfield rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people. I tag: @tompollander @tomandharrisongifs @spidermxn @spideycentral @tomhollanddaily @boycastle @imaginesnthings @parkerbpete @old-new-photos-of-tom-holland @agentmalfoy24601 @hqtomholland @juliechavira @barnesholland @penguinkmm1 @hosterfields @ohlooktomholland @hcllland @buckybarnesisntbad @hollands-spidey @robberytom the last 1. drink: water
2. phone call: my dad
3. text message: a hollander group chat on bubble
4. song you listened to: tolou tagaloa from the moana soundtrack
5. time you cried: when I watched lilo and stitch on the fourth of july
6. dated someone twice: never
7. kissed someone and regretted it: yup
8. been cheated on: nope
9. lost someone special: yup
10. been depressed: yeah
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: never drank before 3 favourite colours 12. lilac
13. teal 14. baby blue in the last year have you
15. made new friends: yes !!!
16. fallen out of love: nope
17. laughed until you cried: I think so
18. found out someone was talking about you: I got a sarahah saying my friends were talking behind my back but I asked the gossip hub of the school and she said she didn't hear anything about it ??
19. met someone who changed you: yes I love sam
20. found out who your friends are: yeah , last July 
21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: I'm friends with my first and only kiss ?? does that count ?? idk what this means general
22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them
23. do you have any pets: nope
24. do you want to change your name: I just started going by my middle name a couple days ago
25. what did you do for your last birthday: I was at my cousins cabin in New Hampshire and we played uno and we went swimming in a cove and we went out to dinner and got ice cream and had cake and watched the incredibles and yelled "HONEY WHERE'S MY SUPER SUIT" 26. what time did you wake up: 11-ish
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching the fresh prince of bel-air and using my phone
28. name something you can’t wait for: avengers infinity war
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: today
31. what are you listening to right now: an episode of fresh prince of bel-air 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes there's a kid in my class who goes by Thomas and hates the tom holland spider-man and one of my friends brothers named tommy 
33. something that is getting on your nerves: my sister
34. most visited website: tumblr , gomovies , and youtube
35. hair colour: kinda dark brown hair with a bit of red kool aid dye at the ends 36. long or short hair: medium
37. do you have a crush on someone: nope 38. what do you like about yourself: my eyes and my writing style
39. piercings: basic ear piercings 
40. blood type: no idea
41. nickname: lizzie
42. relationship status: single and eating pringles 43. zodiac: cancer
44. pronouns: she/her. 45. favourite tv show: agents of shield
46. tattoos: no, but I want tiny ones when I get older
47. right or left handed: right
48. surgery: never
50. sport: volleyball
51. vacation: Disney four times , cape cod two times , Pennsylvania too many times to count , Virginia once , DC once
52. pair of trainers: nike's more general
53. eating: nothing
54. drinking: nothing
55. I’m about to: eat and watch the fresh prince of bel-air 
56. waiting for: my family to get home
57. want: to go to Dave and busters with my friend
58. get married: most likely in 20 or less years maybe ?
59. career: I want to be an actor or a singer , or go into screenwriting or music production which is better
60. hugs or kisses: hugs
61. lips or eyes: eyes
62. shorter or taller: taller
63. older or younger: older
64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms
65. hookup or relationship: relationship
66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant have you ever 
67. kissed a stranger: never
68. drank hard liquor: never
69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yes
70. turned someone down: yes
71. sex on the first date: no
72. broken someone’s heart: I don't think so ?
73. had your heart broken: once
74. been arrested: no
75. cried when someone died: every time
76. fallen for a friend: yes , sadly do you believe in
77. yourself: no
78. miracles: yes !! my grandma had a Christmas miracle when she was released from the hospital on Christmas eve maybe 5 years back
79. love at first sight: yes , I'm so excited to experience one for myself
80. santa claus: nope
81. kiss on the first date: I think so
82. angels: yes other 
84. eye colour: green 85. favourite movie: spider-man homecoming

[gibstaplease]

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! Thank you for tagging me: @ohmegstiel @liams-10inch aka “mozão” 
[4] song you listened to: idk, i guess side to side -ariana grande was on the radio a while ago 
[5] time you cried: dont remember WTF IS HAPPENING I WOULD CRY EVERY DAY, BUT thank god 
[6] dated someone twice: never did, guess im quite cold 
[7] been cheated on: 2013, by a friend (as far as im concerned, that was the last time) 
[8] kissed someone and regretted it: never 
[9] lost someone special: 2016/17 has been kinda hard in that aspect 
[10] been depressed: bitch my life is a compilation of *hello darkness my old friend* moments 
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: never, im REALLY cautious in that sense, but sometimes i get quite messy and giggly when drinking


LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 
[12] green 
[13] blue  IM SO FUCKING EXTRA OKAY 
[14] pink 
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 
[15] made new friends: yes! 
[16] fallen out of love: i like to think that i have, but i cant really answer that properly  
[17] laughed until you cried: in my pilates class *im such an old lady i know* when my yoga pants got ripped  
[18] found out someone was talking about you: dont remember 
[19] met someone who changed you: i think not 
[20] found out who your true friends are: YASSSS  
[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no and i think im grateful for that ajsdjasdjasdajsdajsd 
[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: no idea, but most of them 
[23] do you have any pets: bennie my smol precious dog baby 
[24] do you want to change your name: no, im quite fond of my name tbh  
[25] what did you do for your last birthday: nothing special, i hate celebrating my birthday *even though i shouldn’t cause i have a twin brother who likes his birthday bUT WHAT CAN I DO* 
[26] what time did you wake up: 10 am and proud  
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: in me bed, warm between the blankets and knowing that im blessed for living in the same era as one direction  
[28] name something you cannot wait for: 21ST OF FUCKING JULY 
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: guess i was 5 or 6, the time she went to the hospital for the very last time :( 
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish some of my relatives were younger so i could spend more time with them 
[31] what are you listening to right now: real bad music from my neighbour, need to show him some REAL ART aka 1d 
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: i dont think so 
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: loud music from my neighbour 
[34] most visited website: tumblr definetely  
[35] elementary: meh 
[36] high school: HELL 
[37] college: so far so good 
[38] hair colour: dark brown, almost black 
[39] long or short hair: short 
[40] do you have a crush on someone: im still in denial but yeah 
[41] what do you like about yourself?: im really passionate about my faves and thats it 
[42] piercings: no, but have thought about it 
[43] blood type: i have no idea iM SO IRRESPONSIBLE 
[44] nickname: gibs, gi, gibson 
[45] relationship status: single (but needy :3) 
[46] zodiac sign: taurus and yes i love food 
[47] pronouns: she/her 
[48] fav tv show(s): hard to tell, there are so many 
[49] tattoos: no, but who knows? 
[50] right or left handed: right 
FIRST… 
[51] surgery: never had one  
[52] piercing: ears when i was a baby 
[53] best friend: Awdrey from elementary
[54] sport: dodgeball!??????????? HAHAHA i dont think i have ever been engaged in sports 
[55] vacation: no idea 
[56] pair of trainers: no idea pt 2  
[57] eating: no idea - the return 
[58] drinking: i guess milk? from me mom 
[59] i’m about to: take a shower   
[60] listening: bad music from my neighbour and yes im getting pissed 
[61] waiting for: lunch  
[62] want: TO SEE MY OLD FRIENDS TODAY, LOVE THEM SO MUCH

@daintyandsmol @la-paritalienne @liams-10inch @my-tiny-sun @adoredlou @aimh210 @jellyworm @thebookoflarrystylinson @hazloveshisboo @shpevrythng @floralotp @pay-me-payne @crapcrepe @tempolarriefix @catp @thearmyofbees @celebratinglouis @1989rosesxx @memermaids @spotlightsoff @babybonitaharry @whippedharru i dont know if i reached 25 but i reeeeeeally need to take a shower rn… BUT I FREAKIN’ LOVE ALL MY MUTUALS, even though *harrys voice* we dont talk enough 

[wildlyhardphilosopher-blog]

how to potty train a dog fast | best way to house train a dog

New Post has been published on https://dogtraining.dknol.com/english/how-to-potty-train-a-dog-fast-best-way-to-house-train-a-dog/?utm_source=Tumblr&utm_medium=Tumblr+%230+Freda+K+Pless&utm_campaign=SNAP%2Bfrom%2BBest+Dog+Training

how to potty train a dog fast | best way to house train a dog

Consistency and Patience. Never scold or punish your puppy for mistakes and accidents. The older your pup gets, the more he will be able to control his bladder and bowels. Eventually your pup will have enough control that he will be able to “hold it” for longer and longer periods of time. Let your puppy do this on his own time. When training is rushed, problems usually develop. Don’t forget, most puppies are not completely house trained until they are 6 months old. “We cannot thank you enough for helping us raise our dear beloved Tanner (2004-2017). Dogs are den animals and will seek out a little canine cave for security whether you provide one or not. That makes it relatively easy to train your dog to love her crate. Clicker Crate training Collar Harness Training Housebreaking Obedience Puppy Rescue Socialization Creating the right environment Previous 1/ Next Place your puppy in the crate (or ask your puppy to enter the crate) with their favorite toy or a food puzzle they love and close the door for about 15 seconds. Then let your puppy out of the crate and make a “5-second trade” for treats (give your puppy treats for 5 seconds) while you place their toy or food puzzle out of their reach. Hang out near the crate for about 10 seconds and repeat. Build up to longer durations until they are comfortable being closed in the crate for 15 minutes. Here are some additional tips to keep in mind: Dog Training Genesis Programs Zip Online Video – How To Train & Care For Your Puppy Elliott Lindau TUX Vetstreet Mag-Float In-Home Private Lessons Don’t place the crate in direct sunlight, right next to a radiator, or on top of an in-floor heating or cooling vent. Tags Be consistent. Being consistent is one of the keys to potty training. When taking your puppy outside it is best to always use the same door. You should always take the dog to the same spot and use the same command to help it to associate the area with the appropriate action. 17 votes – 76% You need to prevent mistakes inside your home. Provide exercise, discipline, affection Be Prepared

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puppy training

how to train a puppy

training a puppy

how to potty train a dog

fbq('track', 'ViewContent', content_ids: 'dogtraining.dknol', ); #4: Utilize Treat Rewards Why rehome a pet? July 28, 2017 at 1:18 pm Read More Be clear with your movements, and be patient! Once your dog lies down, say “yes!” and give her the treat. The affirmation and reward must come immediately after they’ve finished going. If you wait until you return to the house to celebrate and reward them, your puppy won’t understand why they’re being praised. After 2pm on weekdays. No matter how perfect your puppy is, remember that all training is a process. Don’t get discouraged over accidents. The bad news is, these things will happen, but the good news it, it’s not yours or your dog’s fault. Instead look for what’s working and keep building on your wins. Click a star to add your vote November 20, 2017 Submitted by TAMIMCCAIN on Fri, 2010/07/16 – 7:52pm. Meet & Greet Dog Nutrition Copyright © 2018 Petcube, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Denver A-List • Give your puppy frequent access to his toilet area – prevent soiling in the house. Co-authors: SharePin It This can ruin your efforts because encouraging them to potty inside your home is the exact opposite of what you’re trying to achieve. 19 Answers Click a star to add your vote Aquarium Stands & Cabinets BREEDS Cosequin (1) Diving Dogs Give a Gift Petmate (1) Freeze Dried Food Microchipping Living with Dogs Obedience – Dog Training Animal Necessity (1) August 1 @ 10:30 am – 12:30 pm Part of the MyNorthwest.com Network of Sites Private Dog Training Lessons 12 June 2017 • 8:00am your account A quiet puppy is trouble, or so the saying goes. Whether he’s getting into the garbage, eating your new shoes or pooping over in the corner — a quiet puppy signals trouble. Charge: Kent mom choked 6th-grade player at girls basketball game * @license Licensed under MIT license By Kevin DaumInc. 500 entrepreneur and best-selling author@KevinJDaum Australia Odd Behaviors Uploaded 2 months ago © 2018 The Humane Society of the United States Many owners see housetraining as the first step in in the dog-training process. Teaching a pup the proper spot for elimination is certainly an essential part of his early education – housetraining should in fact begin on the very day of your puppy’s homecoming. The mistake some owners make, however, is in thinking that other types of training should follow housetraining. Perhaps you don’t want to overwhelm your pet, or maybe you worry that additional training will distract him from his housetraining goals. But the truth is that basic obedience training should reinforce your pup’s housetraining progress, not hamper it. Acurel Loose-leash walking Classical conditioning (or Pavlovian conditioning) is a form of learning in which one stimulus, the conditioned stimulus, comes to signal the occurrence of a second stimulus, the unconditioned stimulus.[43] Classical conditioning is when a dog learns to associate things in its environment, or discovers some things just go together. A dog may become afraid of rain through an association with thunder and lightning, or it may respond to the owner putting on a particular pair of shoes by fetching its leash.[44] Classical conditioning is used in dog training to help a dog make specific associations with a particular stimulus, particularly in overcoming fear of people and situations.[45] January 5, 2016 at 7:34 pm Direct Deposit Adoptable Pets Monique Feyrecilde is a veterinary tech specializing in behavior at Mercer Island Veterinary Clinic. She said that although some may believe there was no physical trauma that required medical treatment for the dog in the video, she thinks it’s reasonable to assume there would be emotional trauma done to the dog. 6. Give timeouts Search All AKC Clubs Solid Gold Dog Whispering Dogs are attracted back to places by the smell of their own urine to use the same spot as a toilet again and again. McGreevy, P., and R. Boakes (2011). Carrots and Sticks: Principles of Animal Training, Sydney: Darlington Press Ask the Experts Start with teaching him about his new home and routine, being gentle with people, and appropriate places to potty. 10 Tips on How To Puppy Proof Your House (That Actually Work) Sell Your Apps on Amazon Teaching your dog to stay in the show ring Printable version Food as a treat to train is recommended by many trainers. But the treat should be very small. A tiny piece of a treat, such as a small piece of hot dog or chicken is sufficient. The smaller the better. A pup will work hard for a small reward. These will include learning to walk politely on leash and the other basic training skills, distraction training, and off-leash work that focuses on reliable recall. Attention Active House Training Puppy Class Part Two TheHeart Sit on the floor, hold the food dish, and call the pup to you. Verbally praise him for coming. As the pup eats, talk to him and pet him. Have each member of the family take turns at different meal times. Your Dog’s Health     Have you ever asked yourself this question: My puppy is biting a lot, so what should I do? If … 952-894-5100 Bichon Frise Yes, you can train a dog at any age, but, the older they are, the slower they learn. Older dogs also have more time to develop bad habits. Start now by staying with him outside and consistently rewarding when he relieves himself outdoors. Keep him on a leash on your wrist in the house, and when he goes to sniff, whisk him outside and wait for him to go. If you can’t be home all the time, then crate train him so that he is restricted while you are out. Then pop him straight outside to the toilet spot when you get back. Certain dogs and certain breeds seem to understand from a very young age to do their business outside. Other dogs just don’t get it initially, and take longer to housetrain. But there is no breed or type of dog that absolutely cannot be housetrained. It just takes certain breeds and sometimes certain puppies with slower cognitive development a bit longer to understand the ground rules of housetraining. We all know barking is a part of … Medscape Reference Setting Your Puppy’s Routine E-books Teach your pup where to do his business by taking him to the spot you want him to go. Just like people, dogs will create habits. Housetraining a new puppy can be tricky but is a crucial part of living with your dog. Get the best advice on how to toilet train your puppy from Purina. Read more COMPANY how to train your puppy | house training older dog how to train your puppy | toilet training dogs how to train your puppy | house training a chihuahua Legal | Sitemap

[min-yoongle]

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20ok listen 20 is liek a lot how about 10 people

tagged by the lovely @miercolesporlatarde ilyyyyy~~ these things are so vague omg someone save me tagging @7eon @hobsangel @babyjbum @jins-mixtape @jen-kookie @tggk @onlynochu @princejvhnny @4yxing @dopemanyoongi and anyone else who wants to join consider yourself tagged by me!

the last …

1. drink: a fruit drink thing

2. phone call: meeting call with 2 interns

3. text message: group chat with my 2 friends showing them vav’s teaser

4. song you listened to: beautiful by pentagon

5. time you cried: maybe a few days ago

6. dated someone twice: never

7. kissed someone and regretted it: like a year ago

8. been cheated on: maybe 1.5 years ago??

9. lost someone special: i mean..

10. been depressed: not too long ago

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: never

favorite colors

12. blue

13. green

14. black / white

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: kinda? i think?

16. fallen out of love: yes

17. laughed until you cried: ye like last night tbfh

18. found out someone was talking about you: yep

19. met someone who changed you: in person?? not really..?

20. found out who your friends are: ye

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: ish?

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: p much everyone except like a couple

23. do you have any pets: ye a calico cat named julie~~

24. do you want to change your name: not rlly

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I... don’t remember is that bad?

26. what time did you wake up:  idk like 9:30ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: finishing biopsych homework and watching youtube and posting 24k updates on twitter  shitty self promo time : follow @/24k_usa on twitter to keep updated on 24K and enter our competition to win a free 24K Addiction album, our team also has a tumblr it’s @24k-usa enter their competition to win customized graphics and follow to be updated on 24K

28. name something you can’t wait for: kconla just the convention, i’m not going to the concert bc i’m bRoKE

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 30 mins ago she’s in her room scrapbooking <3

31. what are you listening to right now: my computer make noise

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: ye

33. something that is getting on your nerves: people with bad personalities

34. most visited website: idk between twitter youtube tumblr and daum fancafe

35. hair colour: dark brown

36. long or short hair: p long?

37. do you have a crush on someone: yes my biases

38. what do you like about yourself: maybe my personality?

39. piercings: 3 on each ear~

40. blood type: ab

41. nickname: jea

42. relationship status: single

43. zodiac: libra

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: psych

46. tattoos: none

47. right or left handed: right but sometimes left with some things??

48. surgery: only my birth

49. piercing: i saiD 3 ON eACh eAR

50. sports: figure skating and swimming, running kinda?? is sleeping a sport?

51. vacation: where i want to go or where i last went? this is so vagueee.. where i last went... i... don’t remember. where i want to go? all over the place.

more general

53. eating: nothing atm

54. drinking: nothing atm

55. i’m about to: finish this and maybe do some art and listen to music, maybe study korean or psych or math idk

56. waiting for: more money

57. want: more money

58. get married: if the time is right 

59. career: something within the realm of psychology but as long as i’m helping people :)

60. hugs or kisses: both?

61. lips or eyes: eyes

62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: older

64. nice arms or nice stomach: personality

65. hook up or relationship: relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. kissed a stranger: never

68. drank hard liquor: never

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: aLL THE FUCKIFN TIME

70. turned someone down: no one to turn down lol

71. sex on the first date: no thx

72. broken someone’s heart: kinda i guess

73. had your heart broken: kinda i guess

74. been arrested: nah

75. cried when someone died: yes

76. fallen for a friend: sorta? half way? forever ago?

do you believe in …

77. yourself: i damn hope so

78. miracles: sometimes

79. love at first sight: no

80. santa claus: up on the housetop click click click...

81. kiss on the first date: idk

82. angels: yes

other

83. current best friend’s name: ****

84. eye colour: brown

85. favourite movie: i..don’t know

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

92 non-lies 👀

i was tagged by @oh-styles and @tiostyles to do this tag! thanks guys i love you both v much :)

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! (I’m probably not gonna tag 25 people bc i don’t even know 25 people LMAO)

THE LAST… 1. Drink: an arnold palmer (half sweet tea, half lemonade, whole mouthgasm ksdfkww)

2. Phone call: my aunt

3. Text message: evie! @ihearthemcallingxx (tag bitch you’re it)

4. Song you listened to: Intoxicated by The Cab (to the sky!! flying HiGh!! take me to the mOoOn!! all day!! all night!! you don’t have to say a woOoRd!!)

5. Time you cried: watching the season finale of The Originals yesterday morning👀👀

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Been cheated on: nope

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve never kissed anyone period👀 #showandtell

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: i don’t think so

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 12. a warm, sunset orange

13. maroon

14. dusty pink/rose gold

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yep

16. Fallen out of love: no

17. Laughed until you cried: yes!! thanks to lindsee @moonchildstyles (tag your it too bitch) and her hilarious encounters with one of the children she hates in her family

18. Found out someone was talking about you: kinda? it wasn’t trash talk, though

19. Met someone who changed you: yes

20. Found out who your true friends are: kinda (it’s complicated bc my besets friends are younger than me and more immature)

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i got a Facebook fairly recently and it was only bc i wanted to use Messenger omg. i’d say 99% bc relatives and what not

23. Do you have any pets: yep. 1 v precious and manipulative doggo, Avery

24. Do you want to change your name: nah it’d take me forever to adapt to a new name

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i had a party/family & friends get together at my house :)

26. What time did you wake up: 11:30 AM-ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: video editing!

28. Name something you cannot wait for: graduation #yeet

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 10 minutes ago when i went to ask her for q-tips 

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish my parents didn’t favor my sister so much :\

31. What are you listening to right now: the sound of the air vents wooshing

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my music theory teacher/orchestra director

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my nose my allergies are acting up and my whole face won’t stop fucKING ITCHING IRUEHQPOFH

34. Most visited website: tumblr, hands down

35. Elementary: i went, yes

36. High School: still in it 🌚

37. College/university: planning to go

38. Hair colour: really dark brown, edging towards black with a few slight natural highlights here and there

39. Long or short hair: i just got my hair cut last week, actually! it was down to a few inches above my belly button and i got it cut to just below my shoulders. so short, i guess :)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: there’s this nice boy at my school who’s just the sweetest person ever his name’s Jake! 

41. What do you like about yourself: i like that i’m labeled “the funny one” out of my friend group. like, whenever someone introduces me, they say “she’s hilarious!” so my humor!

42. Piercings: my ears but i never wear them

43. Blood type: idk👀

44. Nickname: i don’t really have any irl but lindsee labeled me as awkdrea so there’s that 

45. Relationship status: single pringle

46. Zodiac sign: capri🌽

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: The Vampire Diaries

49. Tattoos: none 

50. Right or left hand: left

FIRST… 51. Surgery: does getting your wisdom teeth removed count as oral surgery?

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: swimming

55. Vacation: a water park in FL when i was little

56. Pair of trainers: these ugly black ones that the doctor had me fitted into bc i used to walk with my feet bent in, so these helped me get rid of that

57. Eating: nothing rn

58. Drinking: tea

59. I’m about to: watch youtube videos

60. Listening to: the vents,..,.again..,.

61. Waiting for: my nose to stop being a lil bitch

62. Want: a harry hug

63. Get married: someday maybe

64. Career: orthodontist, i think

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: both :)

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older but i can make exceptions

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I’m guessing this means toned?? arms i guess? I’m not one to fawn over abs and all my friends find that weird

71. Sensitive or loud: loud

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship! I’m guessing hookups can get pretty messy pretty fast

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: a lil of both

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: nah

75. Drank hard liquor?: with a bit of intellect? nope.

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes idk where my glasses are rn sos

77. Turned someone down: yeah

78. Sex on first date: never done it and but i might?

79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah… i felt awful for weeks

80. Had your heart broken: back in 6th grade the guy i’d liked for years got a gf and i cried for a bit so maybe?

81. Been arrested: hecc no

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: unfortunately

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: you could say so\ 

85. Miracles: kinda

86. Love at first sight: maybe?

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: sure

89. Angels: idk

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: isabel (irl), julie

91. Eye colour: brown

92. Favourite movie: Captain America: Civil War

i tag: @moonlight-hazza @babymyharry @honeyskins @raspharries @fairylightsstyles @stylessemantics 

[kafu]

The 92 questions tag

I was tagged by @urumi69 and @xeletteshipsyou

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

92 statements maaaaan ! NINETY-TWO !!! WHAT DA ... pineapple.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: coffee 2. Phone call: The delivery man who gave me my visa for South Korea 3. Text message: ParabaSkype eheh 4. Song you listened to: Mine - Kim Jaejoong  5. Time you cried: Cried from laughter the last week spent at my workplace because of the kids.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: not really

10. Been depressed: oh yeah...

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes .. the joy of university parties.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. Black, grey and red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes 16. Fallen out of love: nope 17. Laughed until you cried: yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: no 19. Met someone who changed you: no 20. Found out who your friends are: what my friends are ? They’re unicorns, that’s what they are ! 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Not anymore on the list.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them as I only use Facebook for people I trust 23. Do you have any pets: Yeah a cat called Cookie and she’s my baby ♥ 24. Do you want to change your name: I wish Kafu were my actual name but I’m happy with my real name too.  25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went to Seoul with friends and we had Korean Barbecue, icecream, great day !

26. What time did you wake up: today I woke up at 9 AM for some reason. Usually it’s more like 1 PM though. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Sense8, Tumblr, Skype, RPG and Youtube.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: August as i’ll leave to go to South Korea for 6 months and a half. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a few minutes ago. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I wasn’t as stressed as I always am. I need to learn how to relax. I’m slowly learning how, very slowly.  31. What are you listening right now: the drama that my mum is watching in the other room. “But Jack, how could you do this to me ?!!!” eheheh  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Lies and hypocrisy  34. Most visited Website: Tumblr

RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: a lot, E-VE-RY-WHERE 36. Mark/s: very subtle ones but yeah. No scar though. 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be an archaeologist. 38. Hair color: Dark brown. 39. Long or short hair: Used to have it really short, now it’s just touching my shoulders. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope 41. What do you like about yourself: my stupid sense of humour and the stupid sounds I can make for some reasons  42. Piercings: 3   43. Bloodtype: AB 44. Nickname: Kafu 45. Relationship status: single  46. Zodiac: Leo  47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: I don’t know man... 49. Tattoos: 1  50. Right or left hand: right hand  52. Hair dyed a different color: I had it in all shades of black (raven black, blue black, purple black, etc), brown, mahogany and a few blond highlights when I was in highschool. Also got a bit of red. I wish I could dye them grey and/or white some day. 53. Sport: not doing any at the moment but I did karate and kick-boxing in the past.  55. Vacation: Going to Seoul this summer. 56. Pair of trainers: basic ones. Cheap ones. 

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: food, and you ? eheh 58. Drinking: Loads of coffee 59. I’m about to: take another cup of coffee 61. Waiting for: August 62. Want: to find a good job and be at peace, proud of what I have achieved. 63. Get married: no 64. Career: French teacher or something related to cultural exchanges in general would be great  65. Hugs or kisses: hugs I guess 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Taller 68. Older or younger: don’t really care, but not too young though 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms 71. Sensitive or loud: Loud  72. Hookup or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: yes 75. Drank hard liquor:  yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: not sure 80. Had your heart broken: in a way 81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Depends on the day but yeah 85. Miracles: no  86. Love at first sight : no 87. Santa Claus: no we all know the Fairy Tooth is the one in charge, duh 88. Kiss on the first date: is that even a big deal ? 89. Angels: no OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: Julie, David, Aya, Aude, Lily  91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Ghosbusters (the old one)

I tag : @icedcoffi @parkjiminer @park-jimizzle @jungkook-gifs @wingsroad @sweaterpawsjimin @happyhangeulkarinalim @holliarty @jeonbase @slythraven

[anotheruserwithnoname]

85 Statements Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I was tagged by @universe-on-her-shoulders​

I’ve tagged a number of people repeatedly so rather than coming up with 20 specific names, in honour of my having just passed 600 followers, I’m going to tag anyone who has followed me in the last week.

Putting in a break here because, well, 85...

The last…  

1. Drink: hot chocolate.

2. Phone call: my dad.

3. Text message: Haven’t texted anyone in a year so can’t remember.

4. Song you listened to: Razzle-Dazzle, Bill Haley And His Comets

5. Time you cried: A while ago

6. Dated someone twice: What’s dating?

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Does my brother’s amorous Pomeranian count?

8. Been cheated on: N/A

9. Lost someone special: My mother, July 2013

10. Been depressed: Sort of ongoing for me.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never gotten drunk, mainly because if I get tipsy #10 kicks in, so I avoid. As for the second half, I got some pretty nasty food poisoning from McD’s in the spring of 2012. I remember this because it was the same day (but fortunately hours after) the Calgary Comic & Entertainment Expo where I got autographs from the likes of Summer Glau.

Favourite colors

12. Orange

13. Black

14. Red

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: Neither in nor out.

17. Laughed until you cried: Happened last Saturday

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes (fortunately not in a bad way)

19. Met someone who changed you: I think so.

20. Found out who your friends are: Sort of, with regards to certain things.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: N/A

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? 100% because the only people I have on Facebook are people I already knew or are family as I’m not involved in Facebook culture. In terms of Tumblr friends, I’ve yet to meet any of them in person but I am in communication with a few of them constantly.

23. Do you have any pets? No, but my dad has a cat and my brother has three high-maintenance dogs.

24. Do you want to change your name? Nah.

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Worked. But the day after got Peter Capaldi’s autograph and a photo op at the Calgary Expo.

26. What time did you wake up? 6:30 a.m. At least that’s when the alarm was set.. 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching Game of Thrones.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Second season of Victoria. John Rhys-Davies at the Edmonton Comic and Entertainment Expo in September (I’ve been a fan of his since Shogun).

29. When was the last time you saw your mum? The day she passed away in July 2013.

31. What are you listening to right now? Construction noise in the alleyway outside.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? I work with a guy by that name. He’s sitting about 10 feet behind me as I type this. And he literally spoke to me just as I was typing that last sentence. And he’s talking to me again. Guy won’t shut up! 😂

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: I’m going to hold my tongue on that. People who know me know.

34. Most visited website: Tumblr and Jenna Coleman’s Instagram and Twitter pages

35. Hair colour: Dark brown

36. Long or short hair? Short.

37. Do you have a crush on someone: A few people, plus Jenna Coleman

38. What do you like about yourself? I have a reputation for keeping my head while everyone else is losing theirs.

39. Piercings: No, and I won’t be getting any, either.

40. Blood type: I used to know. One of the regular ones.

41. Nickname: None I want to make public. On Archive of Our Own I’ve adopted The Saddleman.

42. Relationship status: Me, Myself and I. And we’re always arguing.

43. Zodiac: Taurus. Yes, I am indeed full of bull.

44. Pronouns: he/him/hey you

45. Favourite TV show: The Prisoner, Doctor Who

46. Tattoos: No, and I won’t be getting any.

47. Right or left handed: Right.

48. Surgery: Not yet, thankfully.

49. Piercing: Still don’t have one.

50. Sport: Not big into sports, though I used to do 5-pin bowling in the 1990s. That said I’ve always admired baseball. And Stompin’ Tom Connors’ “The Hockey Song” is one I often listen to, but that’s because I’m Canadian and they passed a law back in 1976 that requires every Canadian citizen to listen to that song at least twice a year. 😇

51. Holiday: Stayed at a cabin in the mountains just west of Revelstoke, BC, in May.

52. Pair of trainers: Don’t wear trainers.

More general

53. Eating: Yes, I have.

54. Drinking: Not when I’m driving.

55. I’m about to: end my coffee break at work.

56. Waiting for: A phone call.

57. Want: Money.

58. Get married: Doubtful it’ll happen at my age if it hasn’t already.

59. Career: Communications, though if I could ever get a full-time job writing Whouffaldi fan fic, I’ll be in there like a dirty shirt.

60. Hugs or kisses: Depends on the person.

61. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

62. Shorter or taller: Depends on the person. Jenna Coleman being only 5′2, I certainly have no problem with those of a lower altitude.

63. Older or younger: I often feel I have more in common with people younger than me than those of my age or older. 

64. Nice arms or nice stomach: Doesn’t really matter.

65. Hook up or relationship: Relationship.

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on the topic. In recent days I’ve gone from the former to the latter on my blog. In real life I’ve seem to have gone in the opposite direction.

67. Kissed a stranger: No.

68. Drank hard liquor: A few times. Not a fan, though I do find Johnnie Walker Blue to be tasty. Given the cost of Johnnie Walker Blue, it’s not something that will be a regular part of my diet...

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I wear glasses and have (other than a brief misplacement at home) never lost them. The first time I wore contacts while driving, they fell out. That was the last time I wore contacts!

70. Turned someone down: Never had anyone ask.

71. Sex on the first date: What is ... nah, I’ve done that joke too many times already this post.

72. Broken someone’s heart: Doubful.

73. Had your heart broken: Oh yeah.

74. Been arrested: No. But the day is young.

75. Cried when someone died: Yes.

76. Fallen for a friend: Yes. See #73. And #68.

Do you believe in …

77. Yourself: I try.

78. Miracles: I’ve seen some odd things happen.

79. Love at first sight: Yes.

80. Santa Claus: The concept, yes.

81. Kiss on the first date: Depends how the date goes, I suppose.

82. Angels: The concept, yes.

Other

83. Current best friend’s name: I’m going to not answer that in part because I’m not really sold on the “Current” part of that question.

84. Eye colour: Blue

85. Favourite movie: Casablanca. (Yet another movie that I think Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman would rock doing a remake of.)

[denilmo]

Get to Know Me

I was tagged by the lovely: @meliss-cake @moonfox22 and @bouncyirwin Thank you :)

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people however many people you want

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Tea 2. Phone call: My mom 3. Text message: Hubby 4. Song you listened to: (널 사랑하지 않아) I Don’t Love You by Urban Zakapa [also, if you love a nice ballad, good harmonies well thought out music, and a sad touch - give the song a listen *sobs*] 5. Time you cried: Listening to the above song and getting all kinds of sad fic ideas

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Yes 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: Yes 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: Yesssss Life story                                                                 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Once. I can hold my liquor pretty well :D

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Purple(any shade, it’s my favorite), Cerulean, Crimson - any dark colors really

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Online 16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: Yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yuppers 19. Met someone who changed you: No 20. Found out who your friends are: Oh yeah... oh well, screw them. I don’t need fair weather friends. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I’m not on FB anymore

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: When I was on there I knew everyone on my list. But fuck that site. 23. Do you have any pets: Two puppers - a German Shepard and a Laborador (a Labrador retriever and border collie mix) 24. Do you want to change your name: No 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Wasted 100 dollars on dinner that I ate at home, cold, by myself cause everyone else wanted to be a bag of dicks. 26. What time did you wake up: 6 AM 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching the end of this drama called Bad Guys - it was so good (it’s basically, use bad guys to catch the bad guys - and find  out who the real baddie is along the way).  28. Name something you can’t wait for: July 4th, KakaSaku Month and my birthday (which is the same month so yayyyy) 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a couple days ago, she came over to do laundry 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Less debt, more happiness, and maybe for my dad to be an actual presence? 31. What are you listening to right now:  CAMO - by BoA (I seriously love her new song!) 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: This freakin puppy chewing on everything even though he has toys, another dog to play with, and lots of outside time. And lots of other things, but this one was the lightest lol 34. Most visited Website: probably youtube??? I dunno

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Yurr, a beauty mark on my cheek and then a few dozen others scattered across 36. Mark/s: ?? Like scars? Birthmarks? 37. Childhood dream: I’ve always wanted to be an actor, singer, or writer ever since I was a wee little Deni 38. Haircolor: dark brown, almost black 39. Long or short hair: medium length, but I prefer long hair. I’m never cutting my hair short again after the last butcher ruined it  40. Do you have a crush on someone: who doesn’t 41. What do you like about yourself: my intuition I suppose. It’s saved me a lot haha 42. Piercings: only my ears - like 4 on each side 43. Bloodtype: O- 44. Nickname: Deni, KoNa, Joey 45. Relationship status: married  46. Zodiac: Leo; Rat 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: Supernatural, Rick and Morty, Last Week Tonight, Forged in Fire

49. Tattoos: I have 6 and more planned 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: Yes, I’ve had a cyst removed from my eye 52. Hair dyed in different color: Not currently, but it’s been pretty much every color before 53. Sport: I don’t play anymore. I was on dance team and played softball.  I still dance though... so there’s that? 55. Vacation: Please?? But I want to go somewhere where people don’t typically go cause I live at the coast and we’re flooded with tourists right now 56. Pair of trainers: I love my black and purple skechers right now

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: currently nothing, but I’m an adventurous eater in general 58. Drinking: Water. 59. I’m about to: Plot out my KakaSaku month writings 61. Waiting for:  Stupid new fridge to get delivered 62. Want: a day to myself 63. Get married: Already am 64. Career: I just want to enjoy it

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: for my S/O? Taller then. 68. Older or younger: Older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms are my weakness 71. Sensitive or loud: ??? Not sure... 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: In me? Hesitant. In someone else? Troublemaker. I like a challenge hahaha

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes                                                                                   76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex on the first date: Yes, but it was someone I’d known for a long time 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes 80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: Close, but no 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Depends on the situation  85. Miracles: it’s a nice sentiment, but not really 86. Love at first sight: No - even though my hubby does. He still says to this day that he knew he was going to marry me the first moment he saw me. And we’ve been together for 14 years now... so.. that’s something. 87. Santa Claus: No  88. Kiss on the first date: Sure, if it feels right.

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: I... don’t have one. I guess hubby counts, so Luke. All my long time friends don’t talk to me much so.... *shrugs* I have to initiate every conversation or get together, and I like to feel like I’m worth it sometimes, ya know.  91. Eyecolor: I don’t discriminate lol. Eyes are beautiful 92. Favorite movie: That’s such a hard question! The Star Wars movies are up there, along with The Outsiders, House of Flying Daggers, The Boondock Saints, V for Vendetta, a long list of superhero movies... gah I love my cinematic adventures

I tag: @natanije @eeearnest @meelomango @thecalamityqueen @ohsotiny @quaintaffairs and anyone else that may want to give it a go!