#one min mark celebration lol

[biorust-art]

WIP ft Caleb and Beau

I am.. cooking smth...

[jjbalice]

Martyr's Folly

Summary: Yunho helps and comforts the reader after they've accidentally cut too deep.

Genre: a hurt/comfort Yunho x reader oneshot

Word count: 4.81k (15-20 mins)

Trigger warnings: semi-descriptive self-harm (blood, cuts, use of blades - nothing too crazy, though, don't worry!), panicking, crying, mentions of relapsing, lots of pet names, nicknames, and physical affection lol, Yunho is a blessing

A/N: This fic is pretty personal since I've been struggling with not feeling valid enough because of the way I SH, which isn't the stereotypical kind you see in movies and such. In a way, it's an attempt at scaring myself from buying any actual blades mixed in with the comfort I crave whenever I slip up, I guess.

Baby cuts. Cat scratches. Damage dealt within the epidermis and the higher half of the dermis. Whatever you want to call it.

For a few weeks now, that's exactly what has been slowly but steadily appearing on your feet and lower calves. Or re-appearing, rather. A bad habit from the past coming back to haunt you all over again for no apparent reason.

No but seriously, what reason for doing this is there? You're happy, you have a stable part-time job on the side of your studies that are also going great, and an incredible boyfriend with whom you've just celebrated a 6-month anniversary. No real issues in your life as far as you can see.

Sure, sometimes you get caught up in a fight with your friends or parents, or even with Yunho, or maybe some of your insecurities hit extra strong on some days. But all of that is normal, right? Just some passing obstacles that get resolved in a few days tops.

So why are you here, at 3 am, staring at the husk of a person in the mirror? Why is your head so empty yet incomprehensibly full at the same time? Why are your hands all fidgety, getting ready to strike any moment?

Truth be told, you have no clue.

This was supposed to be a lovely weekend for you. You got off work early on Friday, securing enough time to pack your stuff at your dorm before heading to Yunho's apartment for a sleepover. He's been trying to convince you to move in with him after your anniversary, saying how it would be both cheaper and closer to your university. Both of those arguments are true, and yet you remain stubborn, wanting to keep your independence for just a bit longer.

Alas, Yunho has no choice but to respect your decision and settle for weekend sleepovers in the meantime.

And even those are great! The two of you get to talk for hours and play games, cook dinner together or order in and watch TV... Mainly, though, you get to cuddle and snuggle to your hearts' content (and maybe even do a bit more than that, if the opportunity and want arises).

That's also one of the main reasons for your hesitance over this whole... relapse thing.

Because of Yunho and his affectionate nature towards you, hiding the traces of your renewed habits became much more difficult. You couldn't cut where you used to before, all of those areas feeling way too exposed now.

And so, you settled on the bottom of your legs. Anything a pair of longer socks could easily hide without too much questioning from your boyfriend. Let's just say your feet are cold all the time now, even though summer's just barely starting to end.

Is it satisfying to harm there? No, not at all. The area is too small and angular, and the pain-to-mark ratio is nowhere near optimal. Everything feels too bony and stings more than other places, and all you get from it are the faintest of scratches.

But anything to at least partially quell the urge, right?

Well, not exactly.

If the razor blade hidden within the confines of your duffel bag was any proof, your methods weren't exactly effective.

You've never used an actual razor blade before, never even planned on trying it since you knew about the dangers of using it and how everything could get out of hand within seconds. Sure, the scissors and other sharp objects you've used until now weren't exactly perfect either, but they didn't put you at as much of a risk of going to the ER.

...So why did you buy the blade then?

Well, it was pretty cheap, first of all. You could just buy it, think about using it, and then throw it out without feeling too guilty about it, right? Not to mention how it helped you feel more valid about harming, even if you haven't used it yet. Self-harm is always depicted as razor blades on wrists, so even just owning one somehow helped you feel a bit more valid amidst the disappointing scratches on your leg.

It's been a week since you've bought said blade (or 5 blades rather, as they came in a pack - what a steal!). During that week, not much has happened to it. Right after you paid and got your receipt, you tossed the paper into a nearby trash can and stashed the pack of blades into your wallet. And there they were even later tonight, as you quietly crept to your bag to retrieve them, careful not to wake Yunho up.

But let's rewind back a bit. Back to where today's misfortune started.

Just like with everything else lately, you don't know why the urge to indulge washed over you specifically tonight. You and Yunho have spent such a fun evening together, lounging around and enjoying each other in whatever way felt right.

And yet, the moment the lights were turned off and your boyfriend spooned you from behind, holding you close while his breathing slowly evened out, it was as if something had shifted in the air. An overwhelming sense of emptiness washed over you, making you feel both completely dull and overstimulated. Yunho's arms around you felt both like an anchor and a vice, the opposing feelings adding even more to the already rising chaos in your mind. You were suddenly overly aware of every part of your body, as if your own skin was calling out to you.

You didn't want to.

You knew you had to.

As gently and quietly as you could, you unwrapped yourself from Yunho's embrace and got up. He let out a soft sigh at the loss of contact, and you had to admit, you already mourned it too.

Sneaking into the bathroom, you closed the door before turning on the lights. Avoiding the reflection in the mirror, you began searching through the cabinet under the sink. You didn't want to see yourself right now. If anything, it would just add to the confusing conflict raging within you, and you really didn't need that.

Rummaging through each shelf one more time, you let out a frustrated huff. There was nothing you could use. Well, save for the expensive-looking razor Yunho owned, but you really didn't have the patience or coherency to take apart your boyfriend's belongings.

It's time, then.

The return to the bedroom was a bit stressful, as you couldn't decide between searching through your duffel bag there or bringing it with you to the bathroom. Both options seemed too noisy right now, causing you to awkwardly loom over the bag for a few moments, chewing nervously on your bottom lip.

In the end, you decided to just risk it, crouching down to begin unzipping the top. Strangely enough, you kind of hoped Yunho would hear it and wake up. Maybe the shock of being caught would stop you for the time being and you could just go back to bed.

To both your luck and dismay, Yunho didn't wake up, his biggest reaction being the slightest stir of the sheets.

With your wallet in hand, you walked back to the bathroom, your steps a bit bolder this time. Now that you knew Yunho wouldn't wake up so easily, you didn't pay as much mind to the noise you were making.

In a weird way, you were upset. Upset he didn't wake up. Upset he didn't magically realize what your new obsession with socks could possibly mean. Upset he wasn't there to stop you right now.

But along with the upset came a strange feeling of calm. Joy, even.

He doesn't know. Nobody has any idea you're doing this right now. Nobody cares enough to find out anyway. You're free to reign over your body as you please, especially if it will finally shut down the confusing mess of emotions boiling within you.

It will, right?

It's 3 am. You're staying over at Yunho's apartment and he's currently sleeping in the bedroom next-door. You finally gather enough courage to look at yourself in the mirror, but it's rather disappointing. The shell standing in front of you doesn't bring up any emotions anymore. It doesn't even look like you, you think. Maybe this isn't you, after all. That's what you like to tell yourself whenever the moment is over, that this isn't actually the real you harming yourself. This is someone else taking hold of you and your upcoming actions.

You sit down on the cold bathroom floor, a razor blade in hand. When did you unpack them? The small paper packaging and 4 other blades are lying right next to you. Huh. Guess you did just now.

You don't bother taking off the socks. A precious thing like this shouldn't be used in such a shitty spot anyways.

Then again, you also don't exactly want to die right now, so the wrists are off-limits. Sure, you want to feel more valid and that place is the most stereotypical one to cut, but you're already holding the blade you thought you'd never dare use, so that's enough "progress" for now.

Now that you think about it, the thighs sound pretty scary too. You've always heard of some major arteries being located in the thigh. Perhaps you shouldn't risk it there then. Not yet, at least.

And so, like a coward, you move back to your lower leg.

To your defense, you do go considerably higher than usual! You pick a nice spot that's vaguely in the middle of the side of your leg, where your shins and calves would meet.

Deep breaths. You can do this. Just brace yourself and-

...

...

Oh fuck.

No, no, no nonono-

You knew the risks, you knew you should watch out for the pressure when using a razor blade for the first time since it's so much sharper than any pair of scissors you own, but somehow even the lessened pressure you put was too much.

Within seconds, blood started flowing to the surface. You dropped the blade, making it fly in a random direction as your hands trembled.

Your eyes welled with tears as, despite the blood, you could see a gash way deeper than any cut you'd ever made until now; you could literally see two parts of your skin split-

You're gonna throw up. Or faint. Or both. Oh fuck.

The first drops of blood fell onto the tiles just as your own tears pooled over. Your chest heaved with your labored breathing. You didn't know what to do.

Should you go to the ER? Will it stop on its own? Should you wake Yunho up? Oh god, you should probably wake Yunho up, shouldn't you.

Wiping your tear-stained face as best as you could with your shirt, you crawled over to the bathroom door. You were too scared to walk, afraid you'd faint if you stood up so suddenly.

As you sat by the door, another sob wracked through you. You couldn't calm down, you were too scared of what might happen if you didn't take care of the gash in time. And yet, you couldn't help but fear what might happen if you woke Yunho up. Now that you think about it, maybe it will just stop on its own and you can hide it for the rest of the weekend and then you'll just make up a story of how you got into an accident at work and-

One look at the trail of blood behind you was enough to get your hands on the door handle, pulling the door open on your second try. The door handle flew back up with a loud bang as you dropped back down, but the door was open at last. You pulled it fully open from where you sat, taking a few shallow breaths once you did so.

"...Y/N?"

Now. Now he wakes up. Not at any point before you could have done this. Now.

In the back of your mind, a strange feeling of anger bubbled up. Somehow, you wanted to blame Yunho for not getting to you sooner. But the second you realized what your brain was trying to do, you felt another pang of nausea hit you.

Yunho was not to blame in the slightest. This is all you. You started this, you went through with it, and now you're crawling back to him for help. Don't even try to put any blame on him, no matter how much easier it would make this whole thing to stomach.

"Y/N, are you okay?"

Right, he was awake. The shuffling of the sheets coming from the bedroom confirmed as much.

You tried to call out to him but choked on another sob instead.

All of your fear of being seriously hurt and needing help immediately shifted, transforming into the most heart-wrenching wave of guilt imaginable. Just what have you done? Why are you burdening someone else with this? Are you really going to make him see this?

Your thoughts were quickly interrupted by the first footstep. All the raging panic hit you anew, making you speak before you could think.

"W-wait!" You cried, an unknown feeling of desperation clutching your chest. "Please, please don't come here, please."

To your surprise, the footsteps actually stopped.

"...I'm waiting, but please tell me what's going on," Yunho replied with obvious unease.

Well, uh. You haven't exactly thought this far, have you?

"O-okay, I, well, I," you stumbled over your words, trying to work through the mush of your brain to come up with anything even barely comprehensible. "I did something really bad and I think I need your help but you have to promise not to be mad. I don't know what to do but please don't be upset."

Selfish. That's what you were. Even amongst all this chaos and pain you were about to drag Yunho into, all you could think about was saving your own face and evading consequences.

"Y/N, I'm sorry but I'm coming in," Yunho suddenly announced, and the footsteps resumed. "I need to see if you're okay, I promise I won't be mad."

There was no escaping it now. You could only brace yourself for the worst, whatever that would entail.

Two feet stood before your hunched-over form. You didn't dare look up, you didn't dare see what he was feeling.

As carefully as he could, Yunho stepped around you and further into the bathroom. You heard the scraping of metal across tiles before the cabinet doors opened. A towel, a first aid kit, and a medium-sized, colorful box appeared before you, along with your boyfriend in his cozy pajamas. Still, you didn't dare look up.

Wordlessly, he propped your injured leg up as gently as he could, as if he was handling the finest china in the world. Placing the dark grey towel under it, blood immediately rolled down and seeped into the material.

"Okay, this might seem a bit weird, but just- I'm not an expert or anything, far from it, really, but-"

As Yunho rambled nervously, you watched his hands tear open a pack of pads. Ever since your sleepovers became a more regular thing, he'd made sure to keep some in his apartment at all times in case of an emergency. Never had he thought he'd use them in this type of emergency, though.

You watched in confusion as he pulled out one of the pads, opening it and double-checking which side was sticky and which was dry. Unable to hide his worried grimace as he got closer to the wound, he pressed the cotton pad against it.

"I- I probably have something better in the first aid kit to stop the bleeding, but while I look through it, just hold that down to the cut, okay?"

You nodded weakly, deciding not to ask any questions and just let your boyfriend try to fix you. Not that you could say much anyway, not with the way your throat had dried and closed up from all the anxiety.

You silently kept watch as Yunho fumbled through the red bag, noticing the slight tremors in his hands. When you looked at his face, however, it appeared surprisingly neutral.

Ah, so he was trying to stay calm to not worry you any further, but on the inside, he was freaking out just as much as you, if not more. Great. You didn't think you could feel more guilt than you already had, but guess not.

"I'm sorry it's taking so long," he spoke up again, "Mingi would get injured all the time before he'd moved out - you know how clumsy he can get - and I, uh, haven't exactly taken the time to re-organize everything. Sorry."

Your lips twitched into the smallest of smiles, along with a hushed "It's okay, babe".

Yunho's eyes shot up at your words, mirroring your soft smile with his own. Pausing his search for just a second, he leaned over and planted a quick, reassuring kiss on your forehead. "You're right. I'll take good care of you, don't worry. After the first accident Mingi had here, I bought some steri-strips... They should still be around here somewhere, but we threw the original packaging away, so they're just a bit hard to find."

You hummed in understanding, hoping you could ease at least some of his worries by showing him you were doing alright.

Somehow, the moment Yunho appeared in the doorway, all of your previous panic stopped. It was as if through his presence, the jumbled mess of worries surrounding you had split into two. Yunho had graciously shouldered the worries about your physical state, while you focused on keeping his mental well-being in check. All of the fear about his reaction to this situation as a whole was still there, of course, but for the time being, you'd managed to shove them to the back of your mind. It was something to worry about later, when the two of you could calm down and properly talk to each other.

For now, all you had to do was just worry about Yunho while he worried about you.

"Finally!" Yunho sighed in relief, fishing out two small packs of steri-strips. "Okay. Let's do this, then."

But as he shuffled closer to your leg again, he paused.

"Wait, I'm sorry for assuming," he began while opening the first set, "but you don't want to go to the hospital, right? They'd obviously do a much better job than me, but since you said you needed my help, I just, I guessed that- you know. Should we go to the hospital instead?"

You immediately shook your head no, making Yunho smile faintly, glad to have read you right and that he wasn't wasting time trying to play hero.

You were thankful he didn't insist on taking you to the hospital. You knew it would probably be for the best, but right now, in your state, you couldn't even fathom going. You were terrified just crawling to the door to beg for Yunho's help, let alone driving to the opposite part of town to have complete strangers examine you.

"Right then," Yunho sighed, mentally steeling himself for the next step. "Can you feel your leg fine? Feeling faint or anything?"

You just shook your head, slowly easing the pressure you held on the cut. "I'm okay, I think. Just a little shaken up still."

Yunho nodded thoughtfully, helping you unstick the bloody pad from your hand. Luckily, it seemed that most of the bleeding had stopped, at least for now. "It's okay, I'm a bit out of it too."

"Sorry for making you do this," you whispered sincerely, but Yunho quickly stopped you again.

"Don't be sorry, Y/N. I know you didn't mean to do this. You wouldn't have called for me like that if things went down the way you wanted them to."

You couldn't bring yourself to say anything after that, feeling your throat tighten as a fresh wave of tears rushed to your eyes.

You averted your gaze as Yunho began cleaning the area as gently as he could before placing the strips down, helping hold the wound shut. Four strips helped the cut close up, and then two were laid on top of them to help everything stay put. Despite no professional medical training, you swear your boyfriend could do anything like an expert first-try. Well, considering him saying something about treating Mingi's injuries, he might have actually trained a bit already. Either way, you could feel your nerves easing a considerable bit at the sight of the gash finally closed-up.

"There we go," Yunho said contently, giving your other leg a gentle pat. "Just stay put a little longer, okay? I'm gonna clean up a bit in here."

Oh, that's right.

You were so out of it you completely forgot about the blades scattered around, the blood dripping across the floor, the towel, pads, first aid kit, everything.

Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on your breathing. It has mostly returned to normal, but you could still feel a lot of tightness in your chest.

"Hey now, don't go falling asleep on me, okay?" You heard Yunho calling out to you a few meters away, making you peek one eye open.

He was kneeling by the sink, scrubbing at the dirty tiles. When he noticed you looking at him, he flashed you a quick, comforting smile.

"'m not falling asleep," you protested, "I'm just resting a bit, sorry."

"It's okay, I was just a little worried."

Yeah. That's definitely one way to put how Yunho was likely feeling right now.

But that could be dwelled on and discussed later. For now, all you had to do was sit still, breathe deep, and stay strong.

...

"You still with me, princess?"

You opened your eyes again, this time to find Yunho sitting in front of you. You don't know how much time has passed, too focused on pacing your breaths, saying the alphabet forwards and backwards, thinking about your favorite TV show moments - anything to calm down, really.

When he saw you were still fully awake, he pulled out a gauze bandage with a small smile. "We should be fine with just the steri-strips, but let me wrap this up for you to be one hundred percent safe, okay?"

You let him do as he pleased, trusting his judgment better than your own at the moment. As he bandaged your leg, you looked around the room, noticing everything was back the way it was before you'd entered.

"I put the, uh, the blades away for now," Yunho continued, a nervous edge to his tone. "I didn't want to just throw them away without permission, but leaving them out here in the open didn't seem like a great idea either. Sorry if it seems distrustful, it's just... you know."

"You're scared I might do it again," you finished for him, making him nod hesitantly. "It's okay, I get it."

It was honestly surprising how easy it was to talk to Yunho about this. Maybe it's because he already saw the worst of it, maybe it was the way he took such gentle care of you, or maybe it was just his entire attitude about this so far. Caring, non-judgemental, open to listen.

"Alright then, I think we're done here. Let's get you to bed, shall we?"

Before you could respond, you were picked up by a pair of strong, warm hands. You wanted to object for a split second, but on second thought, maybe it was in your best interest not to move too much right now.

A few moments later, you were laid back down on the bed, a soft kiss pressed to your temple before you were shrouded in your blanket. With a whispered promise of returning again, Yunho rushed back to turn off the lights and close the door, enveloping the two of you in darkness. You waited a second, two, and then the bed dipped behind you with a quiet creak.

"Come here." Yunho's arms wrapped around your waist from behind again, holding you closer than before. "Is this okay? Should I give you space?"

"It's fine, Yuyu."

His chest shook with a small chuckle. "Oh come on, don't call me that right now." He somehow snuggled up even closer to you, pressing his face into your neck. "I'm already emotional enough as is."

A beat or two of silence passed between the two of you before he spoke up again.

"Was this," Yunho paused, hesitating for a second, "was this the first time you did something like this, or are there... more?"

You sighed. "Well, this was the first time I've messed up like this and used an actual razor blade, but in general? There's been a few instances, yeah. Most of them happened years ago, but lately, it started up again."

Yunho stayed quiet this time. As the silence stretched on, you began to grow worried. Is this the moment where he gets mad at you?

A sniffle broke through the air, quickly followed by another. The hold around your waist tightened.

"It's the socks, isn't it?" Yunho barely choked out, voice trembling.

Never have you felt so guilty in your life before.

"I thought it was weird, I wanted to ask you about it, I really did," he sobbed, burying his wet face further into your shirt. "I didn't want to make you feel bad about it if it was genuinely just something you preferred, so I held back, but it worried me anyway. I should have asked so much sooner."

"Yu..." You tried to turn around in his embrace, but he stopped you, not letting you see his tearful eyes. "Honey, it's not your fault in the slightest, please don't beat yourself up about it."

"But I should have-"

"Just listen to the same advice you gave me, hm? You never wanted this to happen, you wouldn't be so torn up about it otherwise. It's really not your fault."

With what you assumed to be a watery hum of agreement, Yunho nodded into your back.

You tried to turn around again, and this time, Yunho finally let you. You watched as his silhouette sat up, reaching around for the tissue box on the nightstand before wiping his tears and blowing his nose.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, crumpling the tissue and putting it away, "you're the one hurting and I'm making it all about myself."

You tutted softly as he laid back down, shuffling closer to him to drape yourself over his broad chest. "That's not true, Yun. I know this is really hard on you as well, you have all the right to be upset. Please don't hide it just because I'm also in pain."

"Okay," he accepted, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

The room stayed quiet for another few minutes, save for the faint rustling of the sheets as you intertwined one of your hands with his.

"If it's okay," Yunho croaked in a careful, ginger tone, "could we maybe talk more about this tomorrow? I feel like I have over a million questions right now, but I don't want to overwhelm you when you should be resting."

You let out a small, sleepy chuckle. "Yeah, that sounds good. I think I'll also feel a bit better if we talk about this some more tomorrow. It's a bit embarrassing even now when I know that you know, but I trust you enough to share this part of me, I think."

Yunho leaned down to kiss the top of your head, making you smile. "Thank you, you have no idea how much that means to me. And please, never feel embarrassed about this. Just because this stuff is not talked about enough doesn't mean your feelings are wrong or not valid. We'll figure this out together, I promise. No matter what it takes."

"Okay. I look forward to tomorrow," you said, pressing a quick peck to his sternum before lying down again. "Goodnight, Yuyu."

"Goodnight, love."

Please, don't hesitate to reblog or comment!! Any kind of feedback is much appreciated!! <333

(Also would once again like to say that this was not meant to romanticize SH in any way, and I hope it did not come across that way. Take care, everyone <3)

[kanmom51]

JM live 1 September 2023 20:54 or 8:54 pm KST

And a little bit about JK's same day live as well.

Part 1

Cr./The creators of the media used in this post.

So we got a live from JK at the start of the day. 12:55 am or 00:55 KST, and from JM in the evening, at 20:55 or 8:54 pm KST.

One opening the days birthday celebrations (or was he?) and the other closing them (in a sense).

Do we have numbers working for the two?

Let's see.

JK's live:

Super easy. Add the 1+2+5+5=13. Then add 0+0+5+5=10.

What?

13/10.

So we get JK's special day with JM's special day. How sweet.

JM's live: Add the 2+0+5+4=11. Then add the 8+5+4=17 and down to a single digit: 1+7=8.

Guess what we get.

8/11

And if you want just a little bit more utilize the date:

1/9/23

1+9+2+3=15

and Ta-dah...

8/11/15

Oh, and if it's numbers we are talking about, and if anyone has any kind of doubt that numbers mean so so much to JM and JK, well here's another little doozy.

JM's watch. Yes, the tens of thousands of dollars worth watch he was wearing during the live.

*Screenshot taken at 3:20 min. mark.

It's a little hard to see, but the time on his watch looks to be around the 3:27 mark.

I want to remind you that JM started his live at 8:54 pm KST. JM has been in SK for months and you would think his watch would be set to KST, no?

Screen shot at 8:24 min.

Screenshot of watch at 32:56 min. mark.

Deduct the live time stamp at every one of those given moments from the time on the watch and you will go back to 3:23/4.

Why, you may ask, am I making such a big deal about this?

Well, my dear friends, this is why:

JK's time of birth tattoo, just to remind you.

JK's time of birth being 3:23-24.

Did JM set his watch to start the live at 3:23-24? JK's birth time?

Wait, but that's not the end of it.

Because JM's watch is also of significance.

Launched in 1997.

What in the effing hell?

Like, if you have another explanation please do explain!!!

Watch not working? Nope, it is, time counting as the live goes on, all from the 3:23 mark.

Coincidence? Again? That his watch happens to be set at JK's birth time, and it also, by chance, being one launched same year JK was born? JK, who's birthday happens to be on that specific day? The person who JM tells us to wish happy birthday and that it's a "wonderful day"?

Please don't continue to say this is all a coincidence. Setting your watch to a time that happens to be JK's birth time, something we have been told in the past, something that JK tattooed on his own body, hence being of significance to him, and most obviously of significance to JM as well.

JM and JK might not be saying the words out loud, but shit, they sure are being as loud as hell about what they are to each other!!!

Ok, so I mentioned in passing JK's live. His almost 9 minute live. His totally out of character shorter than short live, even more so when we are talking about a birthday live. No cake. No candles. No playlist (he told us this was just the music that he left on when he left earlier and it's still playing). No patience, lol. He came, he said hi, he told us he was out with friends he was practicing with (wonder if the reason he came live is to explain who with and why he was out and about...), said he's suffering from insomnia and he has to sleep. Did a card trick...MAGIC... Lol, and ducked. Like even his goodbye was super super short. Now, you could say he had a tight schedule, which he does, and that he has to sleep, which he does. But JK was definitley not on his way to bed when he was doing that live, nor shortly after. He was happy and super hyped, and in NO WAY shape or form about to go to bed at that point.

We need to remember that when they say they have a schedule, it's not a 9 to 5 job. Many a times their days start at noon and later and they keep on working into the early hours of the morning. That is the nature of their work. So having a tight schedule doesn't necessarily mean he has to be up at 7 or 8 am and off to the company or wherever he needs to be in the morning.

You could claim he was excited because it was his birthday, and perhaps you would be right. But if it was the end of his night, then excited what for? Bed? Where he struggles to fall asleep? Nah, I don't think so.

So yeah, I think you know where I'm going with this.

Only that this time we didn't get a photo because there was no one around to buffer.

2019 JM flies back to Seoul to celebrate JK's birthday with him. 2020 JM was with JK on his birthday eve. 2021 we don't know, they didn't tell us, we got a selfie the next day in the safety of the company - not the two together alone at JK's or JM's. 2022 JM was also with JK on his birthday eve. We got to see and hear about it just after JK's birthday, and we had Jhope there as a buffer. Why buffer? So that god forbid they aren't spending his birthday eve alone at his place, especially if it's happening year after year after year, cause you know, people would say it means nothing but at the same time it means everything.

I'm going to say it out loud, and shoot me (not literally) if you wish, but this is a hill I am willing to die on. JK wrote his birthday message and very possibly was not planning to go live that night. Perhaps he did come live because of the photos that came out of him with the fans and the info about him being out and about that night. But for whatever reason JK did go live that night it was always going to be short and sweet. And I do believe that is because he had something else planned which is not going to sleep.

I do believe whatever he had planned was with JM. Period. That's what JK was anticipating, that's what he was excited and happy for, that's why he came for a couple of secs and jolted off.

And for those that are already running to the comments screaming "but JM said he only spoke with JK the day before his birthday to wish him happy birthday" I say: hold your horses, I will most definitley get to it and explain to y'all exactly how JM did not say that by no means. Take a breath, be patient, read on, you'll see why JM said no such thing.

The two of the men having the live the same day.

It kind of felt weird that of all days JM goes live on JK's birthday. Well, maybe weird isn't the right word, but curious is more fitting.

JM wanted to come live for some time now. He says that. But then why, of all days, choose this one?

JM himself tells us he wasn't planning to go live from home that day (while on his way to fetch the mood lamp to show us).

Both lives feel unplanned, rushed and unprepared. There. I said it.

Did either of them even plan to do these lives? Or, perhaps they were a consequence of circumstances? JK wanting to clarify his outing (knowing how this fandom rolls). And JM... why JM? Well, maybe there was actually a birthday live planned? Could that be? One at the company? Us finally getting a Jikook live? Or even just a proper JK live at the company with a cake and all? But JK's schedule ran later than expected maybe? Hence one boyfie coming to the rescue and going live in his stead?

All of the above is questions, queries, possible explanations as to why JM decided to go live from home on JK's birthday, even though he himself tells us this was not the plan. I don't have the answer to these questions, but it definitley does have me wondering.

Will continue this discussion with regards to JM later on in my post.

Let's get to talking about JM's live. Starting by his opening pic.

I have to tell you that first thought I had when seeing the photo was "is that JK?". The frame wasn't right, but the outfit most definitely was, lol.

And guess what?

He's wearing pants for the boys new favourite brand. I guess JM's the one wearing the pants in the house, lol. But then, are they his? They do seem a little on the bigger size.

So, first 17 minutes or so to the live JM talks a bit about not coming live for a while and how he wanted and yet didn't because he's been going through a bit of a personal journey. Not doing well enough in his March promotions, in his mind, had him frustrated and unhappy with himself. Him wanting to restart rather than fix what he feels might be lacking. Kind of resetting himself per say as an artist? In any case he's been doing a lot of introspection. I guess I've mentioned that already, lol. The feeling I got from what he was telling us is that he himself didn't know how to explain what he wanted to tell us. His words not thoroughly thought out, perhaps another sign as to him going live unprepared and before properly thinking out what he wanted to tell us.

JM talks about being at the Dior event. Being nervous and awkward. Also wanting to thank fans that came to see him.

JM is asked multiple times about his hands. Oh my, those hands.

And when I say multiple times, I mean MULTIPLE times, lol. And JM keeps reading those comments and keeps answering again and again and again that it's a scrape from him working out, doesn't hurt, not to worry. At one point, after he is talking about JK's birthday, telling us it's a wonderful day, lovely smile on his face, and asked yet again, he 'bites back' (if you can call if bite back, lol), telling the commenter to look for it later (as in go watch the live from the start when it's over and they will find out).

Is this the right time to discuss JM talking about JK's birthday?

I think it is.

At around the 18 minute stamp time this goes down:

He says Jungkookie, btw.

From the moment he said JK is very busy (he looks at the camera) and up to this point, when he talks about JK's health, not once does JM look at the camera. His eyes were all over the place. And that includes not looking at the camera when he said "I talked to him on the telephone yesterday too".

Remember this?

@dgtn brought this to my attention. JM's eye movement in this part of the live reminds of his eye movement while thinking just before he goes for the kill with JK and the "did you answer them".

Here's JM talking about Jungkookie's birthday. Look at his eyes.

(But that smile at the end...)

JM was definitely deep in thought as to what to say, how to word what he wanted to say for JK's birthday.

Several things to note.

Where to start?

I guess I'll start from the obvious.

People jumping on the wagon: "JM didn't see JK on his birthday. He said so. He said he talked to him yesterday...(to wish him happy birthday?)".

Me, I'm calling the bull.

And I will explain it to you too (foreshadowing).

JM, as usual, is very precise how he words what he wants to say.

His words in this instance:

He mentions JK's birthday today, tells us he's very busy and then says "I talked to him on the phone yesterday too..." and back to "he's really busy..."

"I talked to him on the phone yesterday too..."

Let's take this apart, why don't we?

JM spoke with JK on the phone.

The conversation happened yesterday.

What did they talk about? He doesn't tell us. But mentioning JK being busy before he talks about the phone call and after he talks about the phone call. It feels like this is what he is telling us they spoke about.

So far so good, right?

And then we have two words/things said/or not said that are EVERYTHING here.

One word that he says, the other something that is not said and, at least to me, is super loud and super important and was omitted purposefully.

First word is "too".

I talked to him yesterday too...

TOO.

Leaving the context of the sentence open to interpretation.

Could be any of these:

I talked to him yesterday too just like I speak to him every day?

I talked to him yesterday too because I spoke to him today as well?

I talked to him yesterday too because I was also seeing him later on as well to celebrate his birthday with him?

As for what was missing, well to me it was quite obvious.

JM does not tell us that he wished JK happy birthday.

There was no "I talked to him yesterday too and wished him happy birthday".

JM makes sure to tell us he spoke with JK yesterday (which is not on JK's birthday). Makes sure to add the TOO, but forgets to say that's also when he wished him happy birthday? I think not.

JM is super measured. He is so very careful in what he says and how he says it, especially when it comes to JK. This man not saying it means the words were added or omitted on purpose. And not telling us he wished JK happy birthday in that phone call, well, makes it clear that the phone call in question was definitley not the end of it. Because there is no way in hell that JM would not wish JK happy birthday personally (not via an IG post that JK wouldn't see anyway not being on IG).

Since when would JM not wish JK happy birthday? The man is telling us to wish JK happy birthday, telling us it's a wonderful day, setting his watch to JK's birth time. The man that flew back from Paris to be with JK on his birthday. And also let us know he did it. He wouldn't have wished JK happy birthday himself? And this man wouldn't tell us so either?

Nah. This is JM telling us he spoke with JK, something he does all the time, and that the conversation he's talking about has nothing to do with JK's birthday.

And yeah, by omitting that he's also letting us know that he had another opportunity, one he isn't letting us in on, in which he got to wish JK happy birthday.

PERIOD!

JM talking about JK looking after his health. The way those two worry about each other.

Did I mention the pause as JM finishes talking about JK? It being a wonderful day? The smile on his face?

Oh, and JK mentions JK's birthday once more at the end of the live as well when summing up the live.

Thank you JM for reminding us once more it's JK's birthday and that it was one of those things in your live worth mentioning in your own recap of the live.

Now, I know that there are idiots that are dragging Mingyu for saying he met JK yesterday (on his birthday) and ate with him.

Well, dragging Mingyu on the one hand for what? Saying he met up with his friend on his birthday? That by doing so he was dissing JM? And others, on the other hand, using this, very stupidly, to prove that a busy JK would rather meet up with Mingyu than with JM.

Are we forgetting what JM told us? Well, JK too? That JK is super busy? Most likely in the Hybe building. You know, where Mingyu also comes to work, being in Seventeen, another Hybe band. Could they have met up at Hybe? Of course they could have. Could they even maybe have met up for a meal break at Hybe? Of course they could have. Mingyu was doing the live in a company car, probably on his way home from work looking super tired. So yeah. Chances are that they met at Hybe.

And as for JM, well, you already know where I stand on that one.

JM and JK most definitely saw each other on JK's birthday. Most likely right after JK's live.

Ok, this one is getting a little too long. So I think I'll leave you all here at the moment, let it all sink in, and come back with a part 2 that will include our little house tour and a few more interesting points - well for me at least, lol.

To be continued...

[souryoong]

1 year of souryoong — here’s some of ash’s all time faves! ☆

☆ i truly want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for being with me throughout this year on this site. it’s actually so crazy how it’s been only a year? time really does fly by. Before I posted "at the studio" I was metaphorically blowing dust off of my writing chops. (kind of an odd saying lol) I was absolutely terrified to say the least about joining this site and sharing my writing. But I am so so so glad I bit the bullet and chose to post my story because it has brought me to so many great things and even greater people! I love every single one of my followers and mutuals, whether we talk or not, if youre a silent reader, or if you constantly like/reblog my works. Nobody is just a number to me, you all mean everything to me. Im hoping that the career path and education that I have chosen for myself is not ~too demanding~ so I can be here for more years to come. I'll cut myself off before I write a damn novel because sometimes I don't know when to shut up.

☆ I didn’t want to do some extravagant “game” to celebrate because I feel like most of my followers probably wouldn’t be into it, so instead I’m showing my love outward. listed below are some of my all time favorite works from some of my mutuals and other authors. Some of these works are ones that inspired me to start posting my own writing, and others are just some of my really old faves from when I first joined that I have yet to forget about. I’m not sure if everyone in this list is still active, but nonetheless here are some of my all time favorites!

list is below the cut!

*everything marked “18+” contains sexual content*

☆ cybersex – myg (18+) | @gimmethatagustd

the whole point of being a phone sex hotline operator is that you’ll never have to meet your clients. So what are you supposed to do when you find out your favorite client is your brother’s best friend? (wc: 14.6k)

☆ the sheets – kth (18+) | @kth1

on your night out with the gals you get hit up by the one and only, Kim Taehyung, who’s been eyeing all of your Instagram stories. It’s no shocker that he attempts to get you back to his place once you finally decide to leave the club because this isn’t your first rodeo with the determined and insanely hot, fuckboy. (wc: 6.8k)

☆ enemy – kth & jhs (18+) | @btssmutgalore

when your friend with benefits Hoseok becomes too busy to keep your thing going, Taehyung volunteers to fill the spot. fic is a series.

☆ message received – jhs (18+) | @minisugakoobies

hoseok sent you a message. will you listen? (wc: 1.7k)

☆ helping hand – jjk (18+) | @yoonieper

a double blind date was your suggestion. everything about it should make him happy, but this sinking feeling just won’t go away. allhe wanted was to get it over with. (wc: 23.4k)

☆ hard liquor – myg (18+) | @chateautae

your dull evening at a bar becomes hopeful when your mysterious, handsome boss min yoongi shows you the ropes on everything alcohol, but shows you much more when he ends up buried deep inside you. (wc: 8k)

☆ drip – myg (18+) | @here2bbtstrash

yoongi fingering you until you squirt. (wc: 4.8k)

☆ your yoongi – myg (18+) | @yoongiphoria

there is no one you could love more than your slightly tipsy, beautiful yoongi. (wc: 2.9k)

☆ untitled drabble – myg | @delugguk

playing with each others hair, they love each other. sigh...I want what they have. (wc: 598)

☆ love signs – myg | @norcula

min yoongi and producer reader going through daily life. (fic is a series)

☆ private lesson – myg (18+) | @dntaewithluv

Your little sister finds it odd how you've been taking private lessons from her piano teacher for over a month now, but she hasn't heard you actually play even once... (wc: 5.5k)

☆ the landlord – myg (18+) | @ppersonna

your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave. good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have. (wc: 4.3k)

☆ suga’s how-to guide – myg (18+) | @sailoryooons

Min Yoongi has been a cam boy for a few years now. The work is easy, the money is good, and he has loyal viewers. When he approaches you and asks if you want to be his muse for a ‘how-to’ series, your view on the infamous Yoongi changes. fic is a series. (wc: 25k)

☆ mixtape – myg (18+) | @sailoryooons

Growing up with Yoongi as your older brother’s best friend was bound to manifest a crush. It was small, fleeting. Gone with age and time. On a holiday trip to the cabin, you’re reunited with Yoongi after not seeing him from two years. Maybe that crush wasn’t as over as you thought it was. fic is a series. (wc: 68.5k)

☆ lost in your light – pjm (18+) | @thepurpleghost

you and Jimin are the best of friends since fourth grade until the tables have turned one weekend wedding. Crazy confessions after some tequila body shots. (wc: 5.6k)

and btw, my official tumblr date of birth is 8.5.2022 🎂 posting this a day early because I don’t want to forget.

[ayearlaterletters]

10JUL2024 - 14JUL2024

This letter will mark the first letter I am writing to you. My letters will consist of randomness, my pov, thoughts and emotions. Most importantly, from the heart so please bear with me.

I want to recap our days together, every day. Something for us to look back on and remember the little things and the good days. I'll try to remember the little things you do or say to me that made me feel good.

On July 10th We went to karaoke for less than 2 hours. I sang L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole and you sang do for love, sail away, Telephone Man, and Michael Jackson love song lol. After karaoke, we head on over to Claudia Birthday celebration at Dave and Busters. We got to see Janel and Mya, Gaby C and her daughter, Sean, and Claudia's co-workers from her other job. We threw up the 4's as a bit and you bought the photos! I loved it for the frame because it's hilarious - what were we thinking we are just goofy lol. After we ate pretzels and garlic fries and drank your alcoholic beverage we played games. I got hit smacked on my face with a basketball because I wanted to win so bad on tic tac toe basketball, which I did win! After gaming, we went to the parking lot because I needed to go home and rest. I also accidentally took the night medication instead of the day one so that's why the alcohol was hitting fast but I was still functional! That day you wore your hawaiian button up, black trousers, docs, and a jacket. I wore a mini floral dress, jean jacket, and white heels to match your style. I wanted to dress up with you because I thought you looked handsome. When you wear trousers and a button up I think you're dressed up even though you don't agree. We were kissing pressed up against your car then we hear Mya say we left 30 mins ago when we really didn't lol. we were just admiring each other looking into each others eyes. You and I took a drive to Sunset Cliffs and we were intimate until 1am. I went to work on 1 hour of sleep lol. I would do it again.

On July 11th

I took an 8-hour nap according to you lol. I know for sure I took a juicy nap. After my much-needed slumber, I texted you and you scooped me up to attend your brother's volleyball practice at the YMCA. That day I learned about slapbox and it's such a guy thing to do. Apparently, you are a champion at this boyish sport. Attending the YMCA felt very nostalgic and I learned you were a YMCA kid too which made me smile. Little things I learn about you make me feel a closer connection to you because of the little things we have in common. After rooting for Marcus, he is extremely good at serve jump, we went to baked bear in PB. I learned Marcus and you had a bowling arc. Custom bowling balls too! Next time we go bowling or anytime we go bowling, Marcus is more than welcome to join us and he said he was willing too. Also, you sitting on my itty bitty lap with all your weight and all legs on top of me was so heavy but I love feeling you on me and then I sat on your lap and you picked me up surprisingly. you're so strong. You drove me home and it was a great evening spent with you and your brother.

On July 12th mid-afternoon, we went out to get So Saap - fun fact it means " Very Delicious" in Thai. My grandma taught me the translation and I didn't tell you that day because I forgot, but I just remembered since I'm now writing this. After lunch, we took a nice drive to Balboa Park. I pointed out a vegan restaurant that offers vegan Caribbean options. That place has been on my bucket list of places to eat. You told me you went to a location nearby to play the bongos and you have a homegirl that teaches something there - not sure. Fun fact: I played bongos too in the 5th grade - very fun. I showed you my magic card trick that my mom learned from somebody she knew in prison. My mom is very impressed I remember the card trick after all these years. I wish I could show you another card trick that my cousin showed me but I forgot and I couldn't figure it out, oh well. You also showed me Yu-Gi-Oh on your mobile and I was just clicking on random buttons but yeah I never understood the game when I was younger nor will I know now haha.

After spending time together at Balboa Park, you dropped me off at home. That was the day I told my mom I'm with you seriously. Her advice: have fun, be happy, and don't argue. I'm very happy she is supportive of my choice. I couldn't wait to tell you about my conversation the next day but it was news that was much needed to tell in person rather than over a phone call or text because this is something serious to me. It's a lot for me to tell my family something serious like that because we usually don't - family dynamics.

You went out about your day with Ezra and Oscar to Red Robin to get some milkshakes and have a boy's day. Oscar wanted to cancel on ya'll because he was tired. that had me dead lol

I missed you that evening. I contributed to the playlist you shared with me and then I was knocked out from the medicine.

On July 13th

I had a good day at work, came home, and took a good nap before I would see you to have some energy. You scooped me up around 3:30 we drove to Otay ranch and got some vegan orange chicken from panda express. We made our way to Plaza Bonita to attend our showtime Long Legs and sneak in some snacks from Target. On our way there I told you the news I've been needing to express to you in person. You were so happy even though you were just joking about me not telling my family and keeping you a secret but I can tell you were genuinely happy because I sure was. We make our way to target watched a really fascinating movie that captured us both and we were definitely feeling each other that night. On our way to sunset cliffs, you said " I feel like I finally hit the jackpot" that statement alone made my heart just M E L T. I just felt so special. You also called me divine. out of your league. words and statements I don't understand or can't comprehend because I didn't know those words could apply somebody like me. i am the apple of your eye. Sunset cliffs was so beautiful that night. clear skies, Waxing Gibbous as bright reflecting off the ripples of the coast. God, you took so good care of me that night I wasn;t keeping track of how many times I came because I just came when I felt like you were getting me there. As we were driving home too we kept getting flashbacks and you said me sucking your dick was heavenly lol. i love when you're in charge of me. I can't believe you became soft after coming once. i did that lol. What a beautiful night to end with my lover. Came home, knocked out, woke up, took a shower, then went to work.

Today is July 14th

Establishing this blog has been on my mind since July 12th. I originally wanted to do PowerPoint presentation leading up to our one month officially. I have that folder on the side, I just have to scroll through messages if I want to really to go deep but I'll find a way to deliver my message to you. Today is a rest day between the both of us. we got to catch up on some things before you start your new job tomorrow and I need to do laundry, clean, and go for a walk. I'm so happy for you and I am proud of you.

I miss you always. you leave such an everlasting impression on me.

angel numbers today: 11:11, 4:44, 5:55

[snap-blogz]

Ryan Garcia Ends Marriage After his Wife Gave Birth

Boxing sensation Ryan Garcia has recently made headlines, not just for welcoming his son Henry Leo but also for a surprising revelation — he and wife Drea Celina are headed for divorce. The announcement made just hours after celebrating the birth via C-section, left fans bewildered.

A Joyous Celebration Turns Unexpected

In a heartfelt Instagram post, Garcia expressed gratitude for his newborn, stating,  "Praise the Lord. I am so thankful; I love him so much already. He is so fast already haha. Took him just 8 min to arrive. You know where he got that speed from lol. GOD DID! And GOD WILL." View this post on Instagram A post shared by Andrea Célina (@dreacelina) However, the joyous occasion took an unexpected turn when Garcia disclosed his decision to end his four-year marriage to Celina. In a now-deleted post, he shared, "As I step into a new chapter in my life, it's with a heavy heart to share that Drea and I have decided to divorce." The timing of the announcement, right after the birth and a C-section, raised eyebrows. The blogs circulating suggest that the divorce was filed due to "irreconcilable differences," with the official separation occurring on Christmas Day 2023. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Ryan Garcia (@kingryan)

Commitment to Co-Parenting Amidst Divorce

Garcia, known for his impressive 24-1 record, emphasized his commitment to co-parenting, making it clear that their relationship as parents remains a top priority. He expressed gratitude for the years shared with Celina, acknowledging her as an  "incredible partner and an even more extraordinary mother." Drea Celina, while yet to publicly address the divorce, shared cryptic posts on her Instagram story, hinting that there might be more to the story. The blogs also mention Garcia's willingness to financially support their two children based on their "reasonable needs" and open to spousal support for Celina for 17 1/2 months. https://twitter.com/JackMacCFB/status/1743684559818969095

Financial Support and Spousal Assistance

Garcia's career, marked by rapid success in the boxing world since his debut at 17, adds another layer to this unfolding story. The day after announcing his son's birth and the divorce, Garcia found himself at the center of attention as lightweight boxer Devin Haney called him out for a potential title fight. However, Garcia surprised fans by expressing his intent to fight Rolando Romero instead. In the world of celebrity splits, this one stands out for its timing and the unexpected turn of events post-C-section. As fans try to make sense of this whirlwind, the emphasis on co-parenting and the well-being of their children remains at the forefront of Ryan Garcia and Drea Celina's journey into separate chapters of their lives. Read the full article

[bunnie-the-lighthouse]

𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒴𝑜𝓊

Pairing: ATEEZ Park Seong-Hwa & Reader

Warnings: It Is Very Long, I Curse At The End, And It’s Suggestive So . > . 

Inspiration: This Was Actually Requested! (But I Added Some Of My Braincells So Some Of Them Were Sacrificed)

Requested By: @bonbonhwa​ -- Thank You So Much!~

Basic Idea: Anniversary!~~ Established Couple, First Time Having It. 

Type: Fluff & Suggestive (First Time Doing A Combo!)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

“Hmm? Hyung, what are you doing?” Yun-Ho asked as he peaked and saw Seong-Hwa entering a few websites. He didn’t see them clearly but his eyes were able to catch the silhouettes of notes, hearts, chocolates, hotel bedrooms, and flowers.

Seong-Hwa flinched and turned off his phone, placing it in his pocket while clearing his throat. His cheeks softly flushed with a shade of pink as Yun-Ho chuckled. “I see~ Is something special going on?” he asks as the elder nods.

“(Y/N) and I are going to celebrate our anniversary next week..” he responded while smiling softly, remembering the first time you both met. It was sort of anti climatic but it is definitely a good time to remember.

To summarize it, you guys get back in 2019. You were a foreign University Student studying in Japan and Seong-Hwa was there because of KCON. You both met accidentally when you bumped into him in a hotel -- he was staying there while you were there for a conference.

You guys were then friends for a very long time -- maybe three to four years. It proceeded until the day that he couldn’t take it anymore and kissed you. 

Unfortunately, you were still unprepared as you believed that he already had some crush on another girl who was an idol. Plus, you were finishing your Bachelor’s Degree.

You did like him. A lot. He also did, which is why he was a bit discouraged by your reaction after the kiss -- shy and worried. You then expressed your worries and ended it with a joke; “Ask me to be your girlfriend on Christmas Day”. And he did so, taking your joke seriously. But that is how you both started dating.

“Interesting~~” Woo-Young hummed as the eldest sighed out, knowing that the youngers were going to tease him. “Does Manager already know about this?” Yun-Ho asked as Seong-Hwa nodded, “He does, I’m a bit sad that I won’t be able to celebrate Christmas with you guys and ATINY though..” he trailed off as Hong-Joong entered the room and patted his back.

“It’s ok, we all understand why Christmas is such an important date for you,” he comforted as the older smiled…

At Incheon Airport, Seong-Hwa was waiting for you. He was a bit impatient, looking around sporadically to see if he could spot you before you spot him. He looked down at the watch that you gave him the first time you celebrated his birthday.

He then looked up and saw you walking out, looking at the opposite side, seemingly looking for him too. He quickly walked over to you, and tapped your shoulder. You turned around, beamed and hugged him tightly as he chuckled at your reaction.

“Hwa!” you squeal as he hugs you back. Your head was leaning on his chest, making you hear his heart softly thump. He then petted your hair softly, wanting to kiss you but being unable to because of the mask that you both were wearing. “I missed you,” you coo as you look up to him, he then gives you a sweet eye smile -- the same eye smile that made you fall in love with him. “I missed you too, babygirl,” he whispers, making you feel butterflies in your stomach.

You guys then reached an amusement park, Seong-Hwa’s Manager leaving your suitcases at the hotel. “C’mon,” Seong-Hwa called as he held your hand tightly, “I know you wanted to reminisce about your childhood and to have fun after your stressful exams,” he smiles as you fake cry. Your cry sounded real, making Seong-Hwa get worried, turning around to see you.

“Hwa!~~” you cried out, hugging him, making him notice how you were acting. He sighed in relief, flicking the top of your head softly, “Don’t scare me,” he chuckled as you laughed. “Thank you, Seong-Hwa,. I didn’t know what to get you..” you looked down as he looked at you with soft eyes.

“Baby.. Look at me,” he said while lifting your face up by your chin, “You being my side is already a gift,” finished, making you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him. He softly gasped, as you caught him off guard. However, he quickly kissed you back, and later you pulled away -- holding his hand again. “Let’s go!~” you said excitedly as it had been a long time since you’ve had fun.

You guys went on a carousel, ate cotton candy, took a quick break while visiting an aquarium and even drank some hot chocolate in the cafe that was in it. As sunset came by, Seong-Hwa basically became a cuddle bear. He walked behind you while wrapping his long coat around you. Supposedly it was “too cold” for you, and even though you were fine with the cold, you didn’t say anything as you missed his hugs.

The last ride that you guys took was the Ferris Wheel. You knew about Seong-Hwa’s fear of heights, which is why you asked him if he really wanted to. “I want to, because I want you to be happy.” he said firmly, which made your heart skip a beat. You smiled at him as he rubbed your head softly.

In the Ferris Wheel, you sat beside Seong-Hwa, holding his hand all the time. As the capsule that you guys were in reached the very top, the sun shone right into you guys. You then took this chance to calm him down by kissing him sweetly.

He immediately responded, kissing you back with the same softness and passion, holding your hand ever so slightly tighter. You then used one hand to cup his cheek, the warmth of your hand making his heart burst in joy. You both then leaned on each other’s forehead, breathing out softly as the capsule slowly descended.

At the hotel room, you walked out of the bathroom, seeing Seong-Hwa in the bathrobe, drying his hair with a towel while the bed was covered with the petals of your favorite flower. “Hwa?” you asked as he smiled at you, “Do you like it?” he asked while patting the spot beside him.

You nodded, sitting behind him. “Let me dry your hair,” you said as he hummed. You then grabbed onto the towel, softly rubbing the water droplets off his hair. It was a silent and sweet moment, which was cut off shortly when Seong-Hwa turned around.

“.. You know I love you a lot.. Right?” he whispered as you nodded, slowly, fear creeping and engulfing your body. He then kissed your forehead, his left hand cupping your left cheek while his right hand guided your left hand to his heart. You felt it beating, quickly and strongly. You felt his aura go confident yet soft and fiery. You were confused.

He then smiled, “Is it ok.. If I make you mine.. Tonight?” he asked as it caught you off guard, making your cheeks feel heated. “H-Huh?” you questioned as he smiled, “Like this,” he whispered -- his lips connecting to yours like magnets. Fireworks went off in your hearts, the heat slowly rising as your lips danced like a waltz, in sync and gracefully.

He slowly pushed you back to the bed, pinning both of your hands with one of his. Kissing your neck and nibbling on it softly, making you gasp at the new feeling. He kept on kissing, trying to find your sweet spot. After a small second, he found it, making you moan out, feeling more fireworks burst in your heart.

He smiled against your neck, sucking on the spot to create a mark on you. “Seong-Hwa!~” you moaned out as he then pulled away, looking down at the bright red mark. “Are you okay?” he asked as you nodded. He then freed your hands from his grasp, ready to sit back up, feeling that you were unprepared.

However, you caught him before he left, wrapping your arms around his neck. You then looked away, a bit scared yet prepared. “Seong-Hwa.. Please?..” you whispered out, catching his attention. “Yes?” he teased as your cheeks felt heated. You closed your eyes, being unable to answer him. “So, I have your permission?” he whispered in your ear as you shivered from his breath.

“Yes..” you answered as he smiled. “Thank you for trusting me, babygirl,” he said, kissing your forehead softly while he untied your bathrobe’s ribbon. You squeaked, covering yourself before he parted the bathrobe. He chuckled at your reaction, “Don’t worry.. I won’t bite.. Do you want a safety word?” he asked as you gulped. “I.. I think I will be fine..” you whispered out as you slowly moved your hands away.

Seong-Hwa then cupped your left cheek, caressing your cheek and proceeding to kiss you again. His other hand massaged your tummy, making you feel the tingles. He then pulled away, his black marbles showcasing multiple emotions -- love, happiness, lust, and passion.

He untied his bathrobe, as you sat up, slipping out of yours. “I.. Want you,” you said confidently as he smiled.

“Babygirl, there aren’t enough words for me to express how much I love you.. This is only our second anniversary -- our second year of being a couple but I am sure that in the future, I want to be the man that puts that ring on your finger and call you my wife.. Are you ready, my love?..” ..

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hello~~ I am finally back momentarily lol.

I had a rough two weeks because of Quarter Exams and I had multiple mental and emotional breakdowns but I was able to push myself back up so it’s all good.

For the person that requested it, I hope you enjoyed it! It was a bit hard to combine both the Fluff and Suggestive -- I tried my best! 

(Please also bear in mind that school has fucked me up so I ain’t doing too well but I’ll slowly recuperate and bring back more stuff for you guys!)

HOWEVER -- I was also able to get better because ATEEZ CAMEBACK

Like holy shit. 

They chose violence. 

All in all they all fucken crushed it. It was amazing to see ‘em perform and it was great to hear Min-Gi in it. I hope that he is still resting and getting better! I’m sure he’ll be back with the boys soon. 

San brought back his demon, so did Seong-Hwa (these two fellas killed me with their facial expressions and vocals). Yun-Ho in all black was a blessing. Center and Black Hair Yeo-Sang was supreme. Hong-Joong’s new hairstyle in the MV was cool. Jong-Ho’s vocals!~ Woo-Young and his sexiness. Like. Violence. They chose Violence. 

Overall, I loved everything about this comeback. Take Me Home is beautiful as fuck and I love this entire album. 

Hopefully y’all have been taking care of yourselves, take breaks when you need them, drink water and I hope y’all have a good day, afternoon, or evening!~

Use your imagination!~~

Thank you for the support, leave requests, and have a great day!

[emersonfreepress]

ok ok in the spirit of community, how would the ros fair in a paintball war?

(referring to this ask! like the zombie au post this ended up making me think a lot 😅)

ohh... interesting, interesting... p sure the only paintball wars i’ve really seen were the ones featured in The League, Peep Show, and Community... but let me wrack my lil head...

ok, i ended up coming at this from multiple angles like the zombie au post 😅 always so much to consider in battle environments! and in the spirit of community, I'll stick with the individual player elimination style paintball match. in the woods with other e prep seniors. last one standing wins bragging rights

Gabe

Shooting skill | 6/10 - Experience with shooting and practice with Kile ofc

Stealthiness | 8/10 - He's done a fair amount of sneaking around during his after school activities, is super observant (or just paranoid lol), and naturally light on his feet. Good luck ambushing him.

Strategy | 8/10 - Strike deals. Do favors. Form alliances. Shoot 'em in the back once they’ve outlived their usefulness. ...What? It’s just paintball.

How does he win? | Graciously. Gabe likes winning, and especially via strategic manipulation, so it puts a smile on his face. And he's in a good mood so he treats a bunch of you to ice cream or smth 👀

How does he lose? | Slumps in frustration at being outwitted or taken off-guard, sulks about it for a little while. He's not that sore of a loser but needs time to lick his wounds and stop thinking of the different choices he could have made.

Kile

Shooting | 9 - The most accurate shooter of the cast and easily one of the best shots at E Prep. Lots of practice + talent

Stealth | 10 - They're stupid good at climbing trees and 100% consider that a valid method of ambushing their classmates. People start having flashbacks to 3rd and 4th grade recess and P.E. Scanning the trees. They just start taking people out with such efficiency it quickly starts ruining the game 😂

Strategy | 0? 10?? - “...Strategy? You just stay out of sight and kill 'em all, right?” (immediately scolded by Gabe for word choice 🙄) They really do mainly stay out of sight and pick people off with max stealth, like 😆 they'd be such a terror, people would need to take them out early for anyone else to stand a chance! They spend a lot of the game staking out the most frequented paths in the area and taking out groups quickly, all at once. Then they'll get around to stalking and picking people off one by one. The real fun...

Winner type | Stoic. Likes winning combat but the stakes were non-existent, so... the win is meaningless! this just infuriates the losers more 😅 such disrespect

Loser type | Sucks their teeth and tosses their paintball gun to the ground. "Y'all suck." (they're over it five mins later tho lol)

Jack

Shooting | 3 - This is nothing like shooting light guns... ☹️

Stealth | 5 - Not just due to his size making him an easier target, but homeboy is liable to get distracted by a cute squirrel or some pretty flowers 😂 He's not great at keeping his voice down either so good conversation would make him easy to seek out. He's just out here enjoying a beautiful day 😅

Strategy | 7 - All that movie-watching (and DMing) make him a valuable creative mind for problem-solving, but he needs a cooperative team to be effective. Rescued and recruited by Rupan/Rohan early on in the game ^ ^

Winner type | Disbelief! And everyone’s content and satisfied with him winning. Except Vivian/Vincent, that jealous fool

Loser type | Doesn't mind losing at all! He just hopes he was a good teammate and was glad to have fun ☺️

Jessie

Shooting | 7 - Comes from a family of hunters, girly knows how to shoot.

Stealth | 6 - Familiar enough with woods and stalking prey to be capable of sneaking around. Having too much fun to not giggle and get overly invested in the developing plot of the game. Even more easily distracted by critters and flora than Jack 😅

Strategy | 5 - Oh, she's just here to have fun. She'll go with whatever the person she's teaming up with decides, but can adapt easily enough.

Winner type | Surprised... then elated! Bouncing and happy and it's completely contagious. No hard feelings about a single thing. Convinces Heidi to invite people to the Emerson Estate—it's a hot day and they have a nice pool

Loser type | Same as Jack! Congratulates the winner with a hug because she's sweet like that 🧁

Rain

Shooting | 2 - This... thing is so cumbersome. And ugly. At least it shoots pretty colors.

Stealth | 7 - Small and used to sneaking around different environments and seeking out hiding spots. Their height and frame makes them harder to spot too.

Strategy | 4 - Hide!!! They’re not getting assaulted with paint and pellets!! Especially not after managing to make this ugly jumpsuit look cute?? Waiting it out is perfectly legitimate. Might share snacks if you decide to join them in hiding 😆

Winner type | Falls asleep in an unexpectedly cozy hiding spot and emerges as everyone thought they’d declared the winner. I imagine R and others yelling at them to get their gun while the original winner scrambles to get theirs, just for Rain to win by pure luck of the draw. Won’t stop them bragging about it, though! (I want this spurned runner-up to be Vi bc ofc)

Loser type | "So I can stop holding this thing?" Yawn. "I'm so hungry and bored, we've been at this for hours..."

Rupan/Rohan

Shooting | 4 - Ah, shit. These don't shoot anything like light guns.

Stealth | 7 - They sneak out and around town a lot 😂 They just force themself to be careful about how loud grass and bushes are.

Strategy | 7 - They’re treating this shit like an action movie and banding together a ragtag team of misfits to take down the strongest alliances and players. Savvy enough to reject Gabe’s and Curt’s offers to join, not opposed to strategic backstabs. They're very clearly just as focused on having fun as they are on winning—and playing Predator, which honestly works with Kile runnin around. They even brought war paint and borrowed a tactical vest. Is it mostly packed with snacks and weed? Maybe. Does it prove useful for negotiations? Hell yeah.

Winner type | Raucous celebration, just pure joy and adrenaline ☺️ Celebrates with their team, brags a bit, rubs it into Vi's face, makes fun of Curt, the usual. Then invites allies out to get pizza because it's the obvious next step

Loser type | Mostly disappointed they can't keep playing. They're a little sore about being left out of the action, but soon just start chatting with other marked players about how the game went for them. Plenty entertaining on its own, they want all the details

Vivian/Vincent

Shooting | 5 - They've got a little bit of shooting experience.

Stealth | 4 - They're overly sensitive and hate being in nature. Their skin is sticky, they keep feeling bugs everywhere, they've gotten dirt all over their pants, it's so hot, they keep WALKING into SPIDERWEBS, [flails about, screaming furiously]

Strategy | 8 - They have good ideas, they're just difficult to execute alone, especially since they're getting sunburnt and getting crankier and can't stop swatting at insects 😅 they're one of the first people to figure out that someone's taking out groups from the trees, so they stay solo and try to find a single person to team up with. Really what they need is someone who's a better shot but easy to boss around. They can probably just owe them for an in-school favor...

Winner type | Barely suppressed gloating. Vi somehow finds a way to be an obnoxious winner almost entirely by the look on their face. Once they're in a smaller group, they're passionately discussing the details of the game and happily boasting about their triumphs (while glossing over all of the whining and and slip-ups lol)

Loser type | Booo, such a sore loser. (Especially in the scenario where Rain wins 🤣) If they're outsmarted or outgunned in a clear, transparent way they'll growl and stomp off, then quietly glower and sulk for way too long. If they're double-crossed or beaten in an underhanded way oh lord —they're fighting it to the end. R can't help but get involved either way, reminding them it was a damn game with literally no prize. "C'mon, Vi, chill. You want ice cream? Let's get you ice cream."

Heidi

Shooting | 6 - Some shooting experience.

Stealth | 8 - She's very aware of her surroundings and her body. Perceptive yet quiet. Tactical. All residual traits picked up from her many activities over the years.

Strategy | 9 - Most likely to outsmart everyone. The first one to figure out groups are being targeted from the trees. Goes it alone and only open to trading (unless she sees Curt with Jess in which case she puts a quick pin in her plans to rescue her 😂). She also immediately figures out it's Kile, because ofc it is. Keeps close tabs on what groups are doing, knowing that eventually Kile will come down to ground level to pick off individuals and couples. Predator becomes prey 👀

Winner type | Proud but not boasting. She doesn't need to be. Victory looks good on her, natural and fitting. Thanks everyone for a good game then takes the girls for a long ride in the Cadillac 😎 top down on a bright day, baby

Loser type | Damn. She should have won this. Maybe if she'd... She probably could have... Then she snaps out of it, roped in by the celebratory mood of congratulating the winner. She's over any feelings of frustration or regret after getting to discuss the match with the person that took her out/the winner and there's no hard feelings. If anything this was fun as hell, it should be an annual thing. ☺️

Curt

Shooting | 8 - Some shooting experience and a natural knack for it. Good reflexes.

Stealth | 8 - Curt likes to say he gets along with the woods around these parts. Sneaking around is second nature to him. Really good hearing too. He's an easy target if you manage to seduce him though, having no issue leaving himself vulnerable if it means that kind of fun 😂

Strategy | 7 - Honestly, he's most interested in seeing how long he can get away with using charm and seduction for both protection and double-crossing 😂 Eventually becomes persona non grata and gets all of his ammo stolen by a vengeful mark, barely getting away in the process. Since that jig is up, he finally starts thinking a win might be nice... and so he teams up with the only competent player who would never betray him and also inspires the least vitriol in others: Jessie. What? Is his back-up plan using her as a human shield? No! 😚 Of course not! 👉👈

Winner type | Insufferable and gloating. Rubs it in a lot of people's faces, specifically Heidi, Rupan/Rohan, and any participants who genuinely don't like him. Brags to Gabe (who is completely disinterested in gassing him up 😂), then promises he'll make things up to Jessie (who didn't mind and had fun lol). Then celebrates by asking whoever he's flirting with these days for a quick date—and a ride in the Ferrari. Makes a scene pulling out of the parking lot. Ass.

Loser type | Doesn't care one bit as long as he had fun! And he always finds a way to have fun, it's why he's so carefree 😅

[just-anka]

So now that I've caught up on the holiday waffle, here's a little general life update

🌌 we bought a van yesterday! This concludes a 2-month epic of searching, going to see vans, calling sales people, making decisions. URGH. I'm SO relieved to be done!! And this one fits ALL of our criteria and more, so even though it was a tiny bit above budget we feel really good about it. After selling our car this summer (he was falling apart lol poor old deric) we were initially going to buy a car again, but at some point realised that with what we do with it - largely driving reasonably short distances to the mountains and sleeping in the car - a van makes a lot more sense. So here's to this baby making our next ski season a looot easier than the last :D picking him

🌌 also got a lovely cycle in to get there - took the train there and then cycled back after we finished, the weather was perfect and the route we plotted in 5 mins before leaving was actually amazing

🌌 celebrated with a bbq on our balcony and (non-alcoholic, see below haha) cocktails and it was perfect

🌌 went on a retreat with my institute last week, which marked the end of a lot of stressful work things - it's great doing different things like conferences, teaching, some taught courses etc and I like having the variety, but they also make keeping up with the "actual" work aka lab work and data analysis and stuff more stressful, and after months of a lot of different things I'm quite ready to just spend some time putting my head down and working. The retreat itself was stressful because I have social anxiety and these things always are for me but it was also pretty fun. Had more alcohol in two days than I normally do in two months though haha hence the non-alcoholic cocktails, I need a break I'm too old for this 🤣

🌌 (I'm not sure the emoji fits here but) I broke my foot last week... getting out of the shower. Whyyyyy. I walked into the bathroom cupboard corner, basically, and broke my foot where the little toe attaches. It didn't hurt that much in the moment so I thought I'd just stubbed it but 15 mins later it was swollen, bruised and hurt so much I literally could not focus on anything else o.o

🌌 we had plans to go outdoor climbing the next day and I'd been looking forward to it sooo much so we went anyway - at that point I thought I'd broken the toe, which I've done before, so I took some painkillers, taped the toe to the one next to it and stuffed it into my least aggressive climbing shoes. Still hurt quite a lot but I actually had a really good time climbing with two leads and some seconds :) and we went to a new place which was the best place we've found here yet! And it's super easy to get to so I'm really excited to go back there.

🌌 the next day I found out I'd not broken the toe but the base of my foot but it doesn't really change anything - nothing to be done about it but rest it as much as possible. The retreat wasn't ideal for that obv but I've been trying. Cycling is fine although I can't wear cleats yet, climbing is a no-go for a while 😔 sad times but it could've been worse. It's already improving, the first few days walking was so fucking painful haha. You never notice how much you use something until it breaks 🤣

🌌 today was spent doing absolutely nothing in an attempt to recover from... all of the above, really, and it was glorious. Grey and rainy out so the perfect day for it as well

I think that's it for now? It sure is long enough lol

[staytheb]

My Last

Pairing: GOT7′s Mark x OC [Melanie] Genre:slice of life, slight fluff, slight angst Word Count: 3,945 Summary: Melanie’s beginning to think if the heartaches are worth it over the thought of being alone in the end as Mark isn’t as attentive or much a boyfriend lately.

Warning: not proofread. lol

hi again. this is another re-work, Endure, fitted for this kpop related blog. ofc it’s GOT7′s Mark, lol, but oh well it is what it is also i don’t know much about other people’s views on relationships or other females view about it either, but this is just based on my own along with the song and mv from PREEN called Don’t Like Being Alone. other than that i’m slowly getting back into writing, but it’s not where i would like it to be and so why a lot of re-writing is happening. although it’s not a bad thing or so i think. but yeah, happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

It was late and Melanie couldn't sleep. So she spent most of her time scrolling through her phone when she stumbled upon an old music video. She hadn't heard the song in a long while and casually clicked on it. Upon hearing the familiar beat and the singer's vocals, Melanie realized that the lyrics hit close to her current situation. She could've clicked out of it, but something within her allowed the song to continued on.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello?"

"Mark, hi!"

Melanie greeted her boyfriend over the phone before asking him where he was.

"You didn't respond back, but I'm outside your apartment complex. Where are you?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm not home. I'm out with the boys right now."

Mark answered before getting distracted on his end by one of his friends.

"I'll call you back, later, okay?"

Mark abruptly hung up on her as Melanie stared blankly at her mobile device with a sad sigh. She placed her phone onto the already occupied passenger seat of a gift bag and large Pikachu plush doll.

"I guess you did forget about it in the end, huh, Mark?"

Melanie muttered to herself while petting the yellow stuffed toy before starting the car.

"I guess playing with your friends is more important than celebrating our anniversary."

~~~~~~~~~~

Quietly listening to the song of the past that fitted with her present, Melanie realized that it was true. Girls didn't like being alone. They didn't like being neglected or being left alone to think of unhappy thoughts. Girls didn't like the thought of being forgotten or to suffer. They didn't like it when their partners didn't give them that sense of safety, security, and protection. That they don't like it when you don't give them a call or a message just to let them know that you're simply thinking about or missing them. Melanie's heart grew heavy with her last thought. The thought that she really didn't like it when her boyfriend didn't care or know a thing about her either

~~~~~~~~~~

"Guess who?"

Melanie playfully whispered into Mark's ear while covering his eyes with her hands upon coming up from behind him at the cafe where they were having a date today in a long while.

"Um, Fei?"

Mark guessed with a nervous laugh as Melanie chuckled quietly while brushing it off.

"Nope. Guess again."

"Oh, Min?"

"No."

"Jia?"

"Not even close. C'mon, it's easy. You should really know, Mark."

"Hmm?"

Mark pondered as Melanie rolled her eyes playfully before frowning when he couldn't guess that it was her a fourth time.

"Oh, I know. Suzy!"

There was a long pause. Melanie was really hoping that her boyfriend was just messing with her.

"We were just talking earlier before meeting up right now."

She tried giving him a hint, but wasn't sure if that was even gonna be enough with how he's been answering earlier.

"Oh, did we? Who could you be then?"

Mark hummed as he pondered on the answer. Melanie quietly sighed as she was about to end the game when she heard Mark speak.

"Oh! I know for sure. It's, Ayeon, right?"

Mark exclaimed happily as he grabbed onto Melanie's hands to remove them and looked over his shoulder at the person.

"Oh, Melanie. It's just you."

Melanie's frown deepened upon his reaction and the words that left his mouth. Mark didn't notice as he turned his attention away and motioned for his girlfriend to take a seat. Melanie reluctantly took a seat while giving Mark a look.

"We really spoke not that long ago, Mark. Also we've known one another for a long while before we even dated."

Mark casually shrugged with a lopsided grin.

"I guess I'm not good at recognizing voices then."

Before Melanie could counter the waiter appeared with their drinks as Mark had ordered ahead of time.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, Melanie, I already ordered you your favorite drink."

Mark placed Melanie's favorite drink in front of her while taking his own.

"Anyways, I've already paid so don't worry about it, but I gotta get going though." Mark suddenly announced while standing up.

"Brian and I have this project due soon and our boss just moved our deadline forward than it was before."

"But what about our date?" Melanie asked him a bit confused and a slightly annoyed.

"We'll, have another one later this week. I promise. Seeya."

Mark gave Melanie a quick kiss to the cheek before leaving the cafe as Melanie's eyebrows furrowed and her expression soured more.

"You were the one that planned this date and even have postponed it twice already within the past three weeks." Melanie muttered to herself annoyed. "So when are we going to have a proper date, Mark?"

She sighed as she glared at her so-called favorite drink that her boyfriend had ordered for her.

"It would be my favorite drink, Mark, if you had ordered the right one."

She sighed again as she reached out to twirl the straw.

"I like guava. Not honeydew."

She took a sip of the milk tea drink. Even if she didn't like the whole flavor a lot, she disliked wasting things the most. The other thing she disliked a lot was people making promises that they couldn’t keep.

~~~~~~~~~~

So when the song came to an end, Melanie wasn't sure how or what to feel now. There was such a mixture of things to feel and it left her mind to do what it wanted to do on its own. Due to the lyrics of the songs it didn't stop the thoughts from floating about in her head. Girls really just didn't like being lonely, ever. If a girl really had to choose to be heartbroken or being alone, then in the end she would rather choose to be heartbroken. Because it's easier to deal with a broken heart than facing the loneliness of being alone. Eventually though over time it wears the person down. Melanie sighed as the realization of those thoughts hit her again and she wondered out loud with a far off gaze.

"So how much longer could I endure the heartaches before turning to loneliness in the end?"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Melanie, hey! This is Sunmi. She's a colleague. Sunmi this is my..."

Mark introduced his co-worker to his girlfriend yet he seemed like he blanked out on when to introduce Sunmi to Melanie.

"Hi, Sunmi. I'm Mark's girlfriend, Melanie. It's nice to meet you."

Melanie introduced herself instead while shaking hands with Sunmi. Melanie had showed up to Mark's work to give him a surprise lunch since it's been a while since she's been there.

"Wow, you're so pretty. Mark didn't mention that he had a girlfriend though."

Sunmi complimented Melanie, but also didn't mean anything by her next set of words that stung Melanie a bit although she didn't show it.

"I see. Well, we've been dating for more than a year, but have known another one like five."

"Wow, that's pretty cool. I'm totally surprised I haven't met you since I've been working here longer than Mark."

"Well, the opportunity never showed up until now." Mark responded while rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Right, I see."

Melanie shot Mark a small smile while holding up a homemade lunch towards him.

"Well, I just came to give you lunch since I made a little too much earlier."

"Oh, I already ate."

Mark casually said as he didn't take the offer meal.

"I see. Sunmi?"

Melanie turned her attention to Sunmi with a small smile.

"She already ate, too." Mark answered for his colleague.

Melanie nodded in understanding and was about to take back the meal when Sunmi reached out and took it from her hands.

"But I don't mind. I had a light lunch and I haven't had a home-cooked meal in a long while. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I hope you enjoy it."

Melanie shot her a kind smile before casting her eyes onto her boyfriend.

"Anyways, I'll get going. See you later."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye, Melanie. It was nice to meet you."

"Yeah, me too."

Melanie shot them a smile before turning around to leave while mumbling for only herself to hear.

"How long can I keep this up until I can't anymore?"

~~~~~~~~~~

Several days later the couple attended their friend, Jackson's, birthday dinner at a restaurant that Melanie has been wanting to go to. There were some people that Melanie knew and others she didn't. Everyone was enjoying themselves with eating, laughing, and telling jokes and stories throughout the night. Some time later the conversation shifted and the atmosphere between them all suddenly grew awkward due to an innocent question by one of Mark and Jackson's friend.

"Hey, Mark. Where's your girlfriend?"

Melanie stared at the male, Chris, who had asked the question although she's been sitting beside Mark all night.

"Did Sunmi have something else to do tonight?"

Although she hadn't known Chris for that long, but she was sure that Mark had introduced the two of them before. Right? All of a sudden Melanie wasn't able to recall if Mark had introduced her as his girlfriend to his friends, but she herself did state that phrase all the time.

"Chris, Sunmi's not Mark's girlfriend. It's Melanie." Another friend, BamBam, corrected while pointing at Melanie.

Melanie actually knew BamBam longer than she did Mark. That was how she and Mark met in the first place through BamBam.

"You remember her, right? You met Melanie at my Christmas party a few months ago. Besides, Sunmi's only Mark's co-worker."

"Oh, wow. Now, that's embarrassing. I'm so sorry about the confusion." Chris apologized while looking between Melanie and the person, sitting next to her on the other side of her.

"I thought you were Jinyoung's girlfriend because the two of you have been talking a lot to one another throughout dinner."

Melanie cast Chris a polite smile while excusing herself as she grab her things stating that she just needed to use the restroom. Somehow that question had turned her off from enjoying the rest of Jackson's birthday dinner and didn't want to spoil  the rest of it with her sour mood because of Chris' question. Melanie instead took a breather once she exited the restaurant and tried to gather herself while debating if she wanted to go back inside. She didn't want the others to think it had affected her too much causing them all to become awkward in the end.

She inhale and exhale a few times while looking towards the night sky with a heavy heart. If she actually left now, then it would be awkward since she had come with Mark. Also she knew that Jackson would get upset and blow up her phone if she didn't properly bid him a good night. The last thought caused a slight chuckle to escape as she let out another calm breath already deciding to head on back inside. Just as she had turned around Melanie saw that Mark was making his way towards her.

"Hey, Melanie, are you okay?"

He held her shoulders while looking at his girlfriend with a worried look.

"Yeah, Mark, I'm fine."

She mustered up a small smile upon answering her boyfriend.

"I hope you're not that upset with Chris about what he had said earlier. It's not really that big of a deal to be worked up about."

Melanie's small smile instantly disappeared. She cast her boyfriend a tired and annoyed look.

"Not a big deal, Mark? Really? Are you being for real right now?"

Melanie meant it as a rhetorical question, but she saw that Mark was about to respond to her and didn't allow him to.

"Chris assumed that you and I aren't together. That you were dating your co-worker, Sunmi, and I was dating Jinyoung."

Her tone suddenly became firmer and she felt heated.

"Honestly, Mark, a majority of them seem to forget that you and I are actually a couple. Do we not interact like one or something for them to think otherwise?"

"Of course we do, Melanie." Mark answered immediately as if trying to reassure her of their relationship. "We go on plenty of dates. We hang out as much as we can. We hold hands, we kiss, we cuddle, and we do all that other lovey-doevy stuff that other couples do, too."

Still to Melanie it didn't sound all that convincing.

"Are you sure, Mark?"

Mark opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. He looked like a fish with its mouth opening and closing while thinking of what kind of answer to give his girlfriend. Melanie sighed tiredly and decided whether she should or shouldn't continue her relationship with Mark.

"Do you even know what I like or dislike, Mark?"

Melanie asked him.

"Like my favorite flower? Favorite color? Favorite food? Or even what movies or dramas I like to watch? Or the hobbies I enjoy?"

Mark continued to look like a fish staring right back at his girlfriend.

"Do you even know the date of my birthday or of our anniversary?"

Still no response. Melanie sighed softly before asking two more questions in hopes that her boyfriend could maybe salvage what little they had to continue on with their relationship.

"Do you even know anything about me since we've known each other for five years or about us since we officially got together, Mark?"

Mark slowly removed his hands from her shoulders and let them fall by his sides. He also avoided all eye-contact with Melanie and chose to instead look at the ground that seemed to be way more interesting than his girlfriend. Because of his actions, to Melanie, this indicated that he didn't know or was unable to give her any sort of response she would be satisfied with.

"I can't do this anymore, Mark. I really can't." Melanie admitted with a sad tone.

"I love you and only you, but I just can't endure any more heartaches because of you, Mark. I can't endure an us when there's really just a you and just a me in this kind of relationship of ours."

She cast him a teary gaze.

"I really thought that I'll be your last without worrying about the loneliness."

Melanie took a few steps back from Mark which caught his attention more after hearing what she had just said. He looked up at her alarmed.

"What are you trying to say, Melanie?"

She cast him a sad smile.

"Let's break up."

There was a paused before Mark stared at her.

"Like taking a breather sort of break?"

Melanie shook her head.

"Or did you actually meant...?"

He trailed off with widened eyes although he knew exactly what Melanie meant, but couldn't let it sink in to process fully. The sad smile only grew on Melanie's face as she took a few more steps back from Mark.

"Goodbye, Mark, and take real care."

~~~~~~~~~~

It was four in the morning and Mark was outside of Melanie's apartment after their break-up from a few months ago. He knocked door every so often in hopes of Melanie answering so he could actually speak to her. They haven't contacted one another since the break-up and so Melanie wondered what her ex-boyfriend wanted as she peeked through the peephole. She was going to ignore him, but he was persistent. She sighed and opened the door with Mark in mid-knock so that her neighbors wouldn't become annoyed and check the situation.

The pair stared at one another as Melanie awaited what Mark wanted to explain himself. As for Mark he stood there as to collect his thoughts as his mind totally blanked once his ex-girlfriend opened the door. Still, even after like three minutes had passed, the silence continued without either of them speaking. Melanie sighed knowing that she shouldn't have expected Mark to change and was about to close the door when Mark held a hand against the door to prevent Melanie from closing it.

Just as Melanie glared at Mark and was about to say something, but she quickly noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes. Melanie also noticed that his faced seemed haggard than before. She wondered how she could have missed that and only noticed them now. She assumed her mind was hoping for something else and missed them. Melanie face soften as she came to the thought that it might've been due to their break-up that caused Mark to look so pale and tired, too. Well, she hoped that was the case.

"Forget-Me-Nots."

Mark suddenly blurted out as Melanie's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What?"

"Your favorite flower, forget-me-not. Because of the color and how it got it's name."

"BamBam probably told you that, Mark."

Melanie tried to reason, but Mark shook his head with a small smile.

"There's a horror movie with the same name and the flower ended up becoming your favorite after you watched it."

"BamBam probably told you that, too, since my sister and him are the only one that knows that."

"Blue is your favorite color although you don't wear it often."

Melanie was going to counter, but Mark continued to talk.

"But you do wear your most disliked color which is red a lot though."

"Look, M-"

Mark interrupted her and pushed the door a little wider when he felt that Melanie was trying to close it on him again.

"You don't have a favorite food in particular as you like eating everything, but you do have a stash of snacks and candies that you even carry a few in your bag. It's the same with movies and shows as you don't have a favorite and you like watching them although you're not into animated films like your sister."

Melanie tried to wrap this whole thing around her head, but it just left her more confused on why he was answering the questions months later.

"Why?"

Melanie asked causing Mark to stop to stare at her.

"Why, what?"

"Why, now, Mark? What does it matter to you in finally being able to answer the questions months I asked after we broke up? So why? Why now? What does this benefit you in the end?"

"Because I can't continue to convince myself that I don't miss you, Melanie."

Mark confessed.

"I try so hard to not think of you, Melanie, I do. I always see your face every time I close my eyes. I just can't escape. I don't wanna fall asleep knowing that you'll end up appearing in my dreams all night long every time."

Melanie was left speechless by his confession. As for Mark he felt relieved admitting what's been burdening him these past few months.

"I never realized how much of a difference your presence impacted my life when I came to terms with the truth that you were no longer mine or a part of my life anymore."

Mark wanted to reach out and take Melanie into his arms, but he restrained himself knowing that he didn't have that privileged and right to do that anymore.

"I neglected your importance and your feelings, but most of all out of everything in the end I failed to see that I neglected you, Melanie, and the love you gave." Mark admitted.

"You're the one who was supposed to be my last that I would love and only love, but I treated you like you meant nothing to me."

Melanie regarded Mark throughout his confession and admittance while feeling his words and emotions tug at her heartstrings. Could she really forgive him so easily? Could she even think about being in a relationship with him again? Could she even see a future for them if she gave him another chance, but if he asks for another chance though? Melanie honestly didn't know for sure, but she did know for sure was that she wanted to do one thing right then and there.

"Can I hug you?"

Instead of receiving a response Melanie felt herself being pulled towards Mark's chest without any sort of hesitation. Mark enveloped Melanie into his arms having missed the way she felt within his embrace after realizing how much those intimate moments meant. Although initially shocked by the sudden skinship as she thought that Mark may not have wanted to hug, but she relaxed and hugged him back. Melanie relished in the familiar scent and feel of Mark that she got lost in the mood and missed what Mark had just said.

"Hmm?"

She hummed while pulling back far enough to look at him.

"What did you say?"

Mark smiled as he repeated what he had just said a moment ago.

"November sixteen. January sixteen."

Melanie gave him a funny look before realization hit her that Mark answered the last two questions before they broke up.

"The day of my birthday and our anniversary."

Mark nodded as his smiled widened before speaking.

"You had a major and long crush on me and liked me ever since moving here."

"I did not."

Mark ignored Melanie's comment.

"You think you suck at cooking which is partially true, but it's passable when you put in actual effort."

Melanie slightly smacked his forearm, but Mark continued with a lighter tone to his voice.

"And you've been wanting for us to officially move in together some time late next year and maybe once we're settled to adopt a pet dog since you're slightly allergic to cats."

"Wow, BamBam really has a big mouth and can't keep secrets."

Melanie pouted now knowing that Mark new that she wanted to live together with him.

"Big mouth or not, Melanie, but I'm so sorry for causing you so much heartache while we were together. I'm willing to spend the rest of my life to never make you feel alone or lonely ever again."

"That's a really big responsibility to take, Mark. How do you even know I wanna get back together with you?"

"Because you asked me for a hug."

Melanie was confused by his words at first, but then remember telling him back when they had first met that for her a hug always meant reconciliation. It was because she was never one for initiating skinship unless she felt like it or when the time called for it. Also if Melanie ever fought with her significant other and she wanted to be the one to make up first, then she would initiate the hug to settle the score.

"You remembered?" She asked in disbelief.

"Eventually I did after thinking and reminiscing over the past few months and the time we spent with one another over the years for it to register in my memory."

Mark admitted with a sheepish chuckle.

"It just took me a lot longer to realize a lot of things, Melanie, but I really hope you'll continued to lead me well and be patient because I don't wanna lose you ever again."

He gently cupped her face while rubbing circles over her cheekbones with his thumbs.

"I don't know what I'll do if I can't see your face ever again, Melanie."

"Then don't, Mark."

Mark was confused before Melanie hugged him again, but tighter as she spoke into his chest.

"Because I've loved and missed you too much to not have endured all of it for this long to not give another chance at us again."

Mark hugged Melanie just as tight while nuzzling his face against her head.

"This time and until the end of time, my love for you will make up for all the heartaches I caused. Because you are my last and I'm yours."

[kanmom51]

Hlo I hope u have seen jm saudi Arabia vlive right. There was clearly someone with jm throughout the vlive. And it was a male. First time we hear a door knocking jm went there , talked something, door closed n he continued vlive. Said it was manager , most probably its manager. Then we hear the door inside the room , someone came n jm having a smirk checks out the person with a cheeky smile n told it was manager. But I don't think so. Manager came n left earlier. Then we can hear someone opening somethings , maybe fridge behind. N viewrs asked jm who is in the room. He told no one n he is alone. After taking few min , shows us the room. Then he went to bedroom , continued vlive n towards end while he is saying ending comments on army celebrating his bday we see him looking at someone or something behind. We can hear voice of something in back. He looked there few seconds smiling n there comes n male voice saying 'oho'. N 101% it was not jm made that voice. He made some expression with his brows n lips like nothing happened. Continued the vlive n ended. Who was that person, I don't think manager came back and is roaming around his room n bedroom. And is making jimin to smirk at him.if it was manager then why jm told he is alone when asked. Was it JK, not sure but probably ys , considering how many times they have been in each other's room n didn't appeared on screen. I know u don't like analysis but this is short n we can hear the voice from behind. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hn-Zv0jByA&t=2s . I've also watched the original vlive and heared the same.

Ok anon, so here comes my take on Jimin's Saudi Arabia Vlive from 12 October 2019, and remember, you asked for it. Lol.

I just sat myself down and re-watched it, god it's long.

Do I think there is someone in the room? End answer is YES!

Do I think it's JK? I certainly think it is JK.

Unlike the 2016 lives, where I was weary to assume in both lives that it was JM or JM hidden in the rooms, here I am way more confident to say that the person is indeed JK. O

Things I noticed in this Vlive:

Jimin talking about the concert – the only member he talks about is JK -he’s the one he looked at seeing him have a good time (he demonstrates JK's moves several times) , making him relax and enjoy – JK's the one on his mind, the one he turns to look for.

JM shares what he did during their time off. He talks about his trip to Paris and this is the live where he tells the story of flying back to Seoul for JKs birthday only to fly out to Hawaii the next morning.

Someone comes in – there is a conversation, you can hear them say he needs to eat breakfast and more, JM giggling. The voice is unrecognizable.

JM comes back to camera says it was "our manager". This is important to me. He says "our manager" at this point, while later on, he refers to the person in the room as "my manager".

JM continues to talk about his vacation, talks about going to Russia and how his friend likes to take photos. Around 31:48 min. mark he says he told his friend: “I want to be your model” – and looks to his left with a smirk on his face, then turns back to the camera and giggles. Ahm, let’s think for a minute, where else did we hear this before? Who did we hear him ask if he was his model? Is that person actually in the room with JM?

41 min. mark, slightly before that JM looks sideways again, and then a couple of seconds later you can see behind him there is a reflection on the kitchen counter top, and you can see movement, like a shadow passing by. I have watched this several times to make sure it's not JM's movements that cause that movement in the reflection. As far as I can see it's not a reflection of JM's movements. It's too fast and moving from one side to the other. It looks like someone moving across and behind the camera.

Maybe that’s why he brings the camera closer, and once in a while you can see his eyes moving ever so slightly to look to the right, or right and up slightly, smirking ever so lightly. He's gotten better at this since the Tokyo live debacle.

When singing promise and raising pinky, looks slightly to upper right (behind camera)?

At this point he moves the camera angle and we can't see reflection on the kitchen counter anymore , so if whoever was there moved from behind the camera back into the room we can't see it. I don't think he's aware of it or did it on purpose, maybe he moved the camera because that person was moving back into the room and he wanted to make sure they weren't seen on camera. Idk. But following comes this:

52.30 min. approx. is the moment EVERYBODY talks about.

There is a noise, like a thud, JM turns the camera to the right, so we can see even less of the room. He then turns to his left, first time only to look , second time actually checking out whoever it was top to bottom big grin on his face, turns back to camera giggling, but he couldn't help himself, and turns to look a third time, looking back at us, grin on face and saying: “it’s my manager” and repeats it several times. Yeah JM, your 'manager'. Right. Do you usually check out your manager like that? Sexual harassment law suit now in progress (not).

You know what? It probably was 'his manager'. Same 'manager' that Tae took his cup of noodles in the Tokyo Vlive.

JM goes on with the live, but you can still hear noises in the room once in a while.

At 1:04:54 JM is asked if there is someone in the room (I mean, with all the noises going on). He gets up walks away for a few seconds, we can hear him saying something, then noises, more talking, coughing, and then comes back saying there’s really nothing to see in the room, and takes the camera to show the room…

He walks from the lounge area to the bed room, not really turning the camera around to see beyond the clear path from room to room. Real Tokyo live going on here.

JM tells us he will end the live soon, eat something and go workout with JK (this is him repeating saying he was supposed to go work out with JK earlier in the live).

Around 1:14:00 JM starts to talk about the how they surprised him for his birthday during the concert and how much it meant to him and thanks for it, looking at the camera but also seems like he's looking beyond the camera.

JM says his thanks, smiles, looking slightly to his right, and then you hear "a-ha". It's does not look or sound like JM saying it.

Last few minutes JM sits on bed and keeps looking to his left, towards the bedroom door, it feels like someone is standing there, perhaps signalling him “enough”. He also smiles at some point while looking there.

Before ending the live, he gets up off bed, closes bedroom door (maybe so whoever is out there will not show up on camera), walking around the room and finally ending the live.

Was someone in the suite with JM during the live? The way I see it, for at least part of the live there was someone there off camera. The noises, the reflection, JM changing the camera angle a second before 'his manager' made noise and he checked him out. JM's behaviour before getting up with the camera to 'show the room'.

Was it JK? I personally think it was. Beyond this being 2019 and clearly those two are together (if in 2016 some may have had doubts), the way JM was checking out his 'manager' (usage of this reference brought me back to the Tokyo live and him using it there too); him changing from "our manager" with the first interruption (probably the actual manager) to "my manager" whom he checked out from top to bottom; him talking about the Russia trip and asking to be his friend's model, turning to look sideways (at someone) and laughing (let's think for one moment, who did he ask in the past to be his model????); it felt like JM was thanking whoever it was there with him for the birthday surprise. If you watch the Bangtan bomb you will see that even there JM talks about how excited he was, but yet again mentions how happy JK was and how it made him even happier...

The one thing I am still on the fence about is the "a-ha". It's definitely there. Who says it???? I've seen this several times, I really don't think it's JM making that sound, but I am not 100% sure with this, so I'll leave this one up to you.

[mistressemmedi]

why is Hans Zimmer so important? He just did music for movies, no? I'm not trying to be rude, just curious sorry

Omg not rude at all but I’m so sorry anon, you’ve unleashed an answer that has become an essay about me gushing over Hans Zimmer. 

First off, Hans Zimmer is a musical genius when it comes to scoring movies. Like, he’s up there with Morricone. Alan Silvestri is another one. 

What’s peculiar about him is that he uses various methods of ‘telling’ the story through the music that doesn’t use just an orchestra but also rock/electro/synths etc. He is able to write and capture the mood of the movie/story/moment etc. so well. 

I’ll give you an example, since this is a motorsport blog (most of the time) we’ll use Rush and the main song ‘Lost But Won’. Give it a  full listen (I know, I KNOWWW it’s 6 minutes long) before continuing to read below - best done in a quite small room or with earbuds 

You’re a driver. An F1 driver. 

In the beginning we have the strings, they bring you to the track. 

The French horns pick up, reminding you that... This is it. This is the race of your life, of your career. There is palpable excitement in the air but it’s subdued because of how important this moment is. 

Those few notes from the guitar remind you of the nervousness that you’re feeling, which is weird. This is not your first grand prix, for fuck sake.

You look around, at the mechanics and engineers trying to give you a last word, the last advice before you settle in and go for the drive of your life. The bass picks up, the low notes helping you focus more but the nervousness intensifies. It settles in at your throat, like a weight you can’t swallow. 

The strings of the guitar are now moving faster, the notes coming out more hurriedly. It matches the pace of your heart because your eyes locked in on the car of your rival, the man you need to beat to get that title. The nervousness now is gone, giving space to  a spark of excitement from before. 

The voice from the single violin reminds you that it’s time. 

Off you go for the formation lap. 

The cello starts to play, through turn 1, turn 2, and you know this track well. It’s an ebb and flow of just you and the car, you don’t need to think. Your hands automatically move in sync with your feet. Brake. Clutch. Accelerate. Brake again. Last turn, you can see the start line. 

There’s a small pang of sadness as you stop the car for the start. It’s the last race, it’s been a long season. But is this enough? Why can’t we race one more time?

But no, this is it. You can do it. 

Get to the mark, line up. Wait. 

Drums start. It’s lights out and away we go. 

Same as the formation lap, turn 1, turn 2. You start well but your rival started better. Not to worry, this is your element. The chase for the win. 

The tempo picks up (around the 2:50 mark) and now the strings are working in coordination with the guitar. Time is irrelevant, is it lap 20 or 40? The only thing you can see is the back of the car in front of you. Time is something left behind after turn 5 & 6. 

You almost got him but it’s not quite enough. The hairs on your arms raise up a bit, and you don’t even realize that you’re smiling. The trill of the chase, of making that pass stick and showing everyone that you are the best. 

Turn after turn, and all your focus is accelerating down the main straight, braking as late as you can. It’s raining, when did that happen? 

The crescendo of the strings, guitars, horns, drums is now absurdly loud. It almost matches the hammering of your heart in your chest. You realize that you’ve been holding your breath for the past... how many minutes?

Main straight again. And you see it, the sign that says “P2, 5 laps to go” (at 3:30 mark)

What? How did that happen? We’re still racing! You’re not in front! More time, we need more time!

The excitement of the chase gives way to the bass guitar, which is vibrating with your anger. 

The drums are louder. They urge you to go fast. Faster. 

There’s a  tinge of desperation now. The shrieking voice of the high notes coming from the electric guitar are a reminder that you will not make it time. You will not win this. 

Faster. You need to be faster. 

It’s a cacophony of instruments, feelings and god knows what else. 

Last corner. Finish line. 

You didn’t make it. 

(At 4:50) Suddenly the tempo is gone, you feel like you’re out of breath. Everything boiled down to this final race and you tanked it. 

The repetitive three single beats from the drum almost feel like a final send-off to your championship dreams. It’s gone. It’s all lost. How fitting, almost like a gun salute at a funeral. 

(At 5:35) You get out of the car, you don’t feel like celebrating. 

The lone violin prompts you to look at your rival, the winner who stole everything from you. 

But did he really? He’s also one of your closest friends on the grid (as much as you can call a competitor ‘friend’). The respect, the camaraderie he showed you through the season. He never pulled his punches while racing and always gave it his all, trusting you to honor him the same way. 

You can hear the guitar again (at 6:10) reminding you of that feeling before the race, that small spark of excitement. 

You nod at your rival, he nods back in a gesture of respect. A small thank you for the battles on track this past year. 

Maybe you even smile a bit. 

The violin’s last note ends. There’s always next year. The next championship is definitely yours. 

Listen to it the song again. 

Now, obviously the story in Rush is a bit different, but you can tell that this song was written specifically about being fast, about racing, about winning and losing.

Bonus song from the Rush soundtrack would be Stopwatch. Excellent 2 min little thing.

The way that Hans Zimmer is able to direct the orchestra through the tempo changes of the score is amazing. And let’s not forget the man composed the music himself. WTF right? Amazing! 

If you have the chance, listen to Interstellar. I don’t know how but somehow he managed to explain how it feels to be in space, how it feels to be lonely, the desperation of survival etc... With music. Incredible. 

Also, listen to his original Pirates of the Caribbean score. You can’t tell me that listening to “He’s a Pirate” one cannot help but imagine Captain Sparrow running around Tortuga with a bottle of rum lol. 

Anyways, I’m a massive fan of Hans’ work and I’m extremely jealous of Lewis who got to sit down and pick his brains.

[prettywordsyouleft]

About Me Tag

tagged by the wonderful @jjinyounf thank you Cres! <3

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

Can I cheat since it’s been my birthday last month and was fortunate enough to get what I wanted? It was horse riding clothes. I was handed a card and allowed to go on a bit of a shopping spree and was a very happy girl! 

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

I’ll Find You by B1A4 is playing right now, the song before it was Wait, again by B1A4 because I have their playlist on.

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

If I’m uncaring of my gluten intolerance - baked goods. If I’m not wanting a stomachache (and everything else), still something sugary like chocolate - it’s a really bad habit I need to kick!

4. What is your morning routine?

During school term (my sister is my responsibility in the mornings): up at 7am and spend the next 1-2hrs depending on the mood she’s in with trying to get her to attend school. If it’s the school holidays/weekends, I foolishly attempt to sleep until 8.30am, but know that most likely the child will turn the TV on at about 6.30am and blast music so who needs sleep anyway?! (Me, please! I miss you sleep)

5. What mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

I don’t know if I’d want to be one, but I’d like to befriend a dragon.

6. How do you interact with someone that you don’t like?

Really depends on the situation I’m in. I try to avoid or put in the bare minimum of effort on that individual where I can.

7. How do you define a toxic person?

Someone who constantly affects your mood in a negative manner.

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fanmeet type of event? If not, would you want to?

The only concert I’ve ever been to was B.A.P LOE in 2015 when they came to NZ.

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

Yes! I feel there are some traits or connections/incompatibilities than can only be explained via astrology.

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?

I think... sight.

11. Who is your favorite celebrity or idol?

Let’s go with Jung Daehyun to make this easy on my brain lol.

12. If you could talk to your favorite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

I don’t think I would want to say something insightful or planned. I would just want to have a comfortable conversation with him that I could cherish forever. Also if I could hear his laugh in person (I mean, I did but he was on stage and not in front of me), I think I would be the happiest human.

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going and what are we going to do?

I mean, are you someone I know? Because if this is our first time meeting, no thanks, you can go without me. If I’ve known you for years and I’m comfortable with you, let’s go to the arcade and have some fun on the machines and exchange our tokens for ridiculous things we will never need but have fun picking them out anyway! 

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

Sweet.

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favorite artists? If so, what?

I mostly have albums from various groups, Got7 being the one I have the most of. My prized possessions are my Yongguk signed Carnival B.A.P album and my Mark signed Flight Log: Arrival album. I was also kindly gifted the photobook Hey Guys from one of my dearest of friends that I’m very grateful to have!

Oh! I also have JB’s Represent collab hoodie that I protect more than I wear >_<

Tagging: @min-youngis @kesmonster @randomkpopfiction @day6andetcetera @therainroguefanfiction @7wanderingpaws @sxfterhearts and anyone else who’d like to do this! 

[nny11writes]

13, 16, 18, 43 and 50 for tha ask game please and thank you :P Just, many many numbers lol

13. What is your planning process?

My first reaction was to squint and go “Do I have a process?” which is probably an answer on its own lol!

It depends is the actual answer.

Like most writers I start a fic because of one scene or dialogue or description that I really, really, really wanted to write and then I have to figure out where it belongs.

I almost always start by just...writing. I used to be 100% stream of consciousness writer. I’d sit down at least once a day with a blank document and without ANY forethought or direction I’d start writing a fic. It was always as much fun for me as my readers to see where a story would go because I literally had no clue.

These days, as I’m putting THE THING down on the page my brain is shrieking ideas at me so I start slapping them down too, but I’ve got a better filter so not everything goes down. There’s a lot of [WHAT IS THIS THING PLS PLS FIGURE IT OUT] and [PAST OR PRESENT TENSE MF MAKE UP YO MIND] at this stage.

This is where I actually start planning. I’ve got a bunch of stuff down, a vague direction, and a lot of ideas so this is usually where I sit down to do some planning. Am I aiming to write a short fic or long fic, one shot or multi-chapter, where are we, how many characters, etc. I leave things pretty wide open, while sometimes it’s fun to challenge myself to meet very specific goals it’s usually frustrating to me so nothing is set in stone. Literally. Even when I’ve posted if someone leaves a comment that’s amazing or enough people liked it I’ll usually try to write more in that fic or another fic with those ideas.

How To Quit You is a great example of how my loosey goosey planning works. I don’t know if people realize but that fic was originally supposed to be ONLY that first chapter. I wrote it in an hour tops for 2019 glitra week and all I knew at that point was I wanted to do a western with some romance tropes to it (hence the exes who still love each other thing).

Once I realized how many people seemed to love it and wanted to see more I sat down and planned it out. I first decided how I wanted to write the story (hence going back in time ~15 years) and then I created chapter titles and had vague descriptions for them.  Once it was all down I went through it again and made adjustments, then created a timeline (Micah died in 1868, they meet in 1870, Catra works BMR rails 1870-1880 min, etc etc). And that’s it.  I made an outline and used it as my idea bouncing ground and map and huge parts of it have changed as we’ve gone along. Catra was going to become a drunkard out in [REDACTED] after the timeline met up with chapter one. I scrapped that because it didn’t fit with other details and changes I’d made. I re-wrote the chapter and now I gotta scrap that and re-write it again do to reasons that would spoilers.

Let’s Try This Again is another hilarious example, because chapters 1-6 were meticulously planned and I charted out a whole story around them that I was going to stick to damn it all! And then Palpatine hip checked me and changed the course of the story. I still included a lot from my original VERY detailed outline, but some chapters were nixed completely and others added in too sooooo...

I’m not a true pantser because I do some planning, but I’m not a planner because I leave huge chucks practically up to the whims of fate. I’m a plantser.

16. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics?

Sometimes! 

I think some of my best works are from prompts (WHICH ARE ALWAYS OPEN, HINT HINT, NUDGE NUDGE, KNOW WHAT I MEAN KNOW WHAT I MEAN) specifically.

I rarely use sentence starters but I think I’ve done okay when I did.

But fandom headcanons? Oh hell yeah baby now we’re talking!

Can Anakin cook but Padme can’t? Hell yeah!

Togruta have some cat like features so Ahsoka is obligate carnivore and color blind? WOOOOOOOO BOYYYYYYYYYYYY!

"This is not because I like you.” is 100% something that everyone in the Horde says when trying to cover their asses, Catra’s just a useless lesbian and has to use it A Lot More Than Most. Awwwwww yeah, that’s the good stuff!

Glimmer and Catra talk to one another but only have serious conversations sitting back to back post canon. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES!

Like, god, fandom headcanon is practically what my fics live on lol! I’m not great at writing things in canon or sticking to canon, and people are amazing and smart so of course I’m going to steal their cool ideas and then mess with them until they’re my own.

18. What is your favorite writing prompt?

...I gotta be honest I have no clue lol. I’ve liked basically every prompt I’ve ever gotten (there’s literally only been 2 that I got and went “...oh.” and of those two I was able to bend the prompt into things I liked a lot! One of them is actually posted and people like it, and then other is currently sitting in the naughty prompt corner for crimes of FIGHTING ME TO A STANDSTILL every time I write a few sentences for it, but I do actually like it now lol).

I think my favorite style of prompt are ones that are open for some interpretation. You know that joke about you know a writer based on how they respond to a one word prompt like “fall” or “cold” or even “love”? I love that kind of stuff! Heck, even things with a more narrow focus are fun to play with. For one of my prompt fics I was able to flip the script and have the character everyone expects the unrequited pining from to instead be the unattainable beloved instead.

*Marge potato meme* I just think they’re neat!

43. Guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

None, because I am very loud about what I enjoy and refuse to have things I enjoy ripped away by strangers on the interwebs.

Okay, more seriously, as far as things that others might think are guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

I love a good “morons to repressed idiots to lovers” slow burn. Yes, yesssss, let them be absolute fools and make MASSIVE mistakes that they have no reason to make. There was a miscommunication? Delightful! Oh look, they’re both flirting with one another but think the other one is just joking around with them. I WILL TAKE ANOTHER 200K OF THEM SUFFERING THANK YOU!

I love AUs man, every time I see someone who really hates coffee shop AUs or highschool AUs or modern AUs I end up getting grumpy and I go find some of those AUs to read because I love them. The AUs I love the most change fandom to fandom. Not a huge fan of modern AU for star wars, but an absolute slut for them in She Ra. Palpatine chokes on a bagel and I live, but if that happened to Horde Prime I’d be pissed. *shrug* I just know that some people really don’t like or even outright hate AUs, and I do not understand them at all. Like, good for them and I hope they find the fics they do enjoy! But also, why???????

I think my “cringiest” one is that I actually really like A/B/O as long as they flip the script somehow or delve into how something like that would actually effect the world it exists in. Is sex in public a common and acceptable thing b/c they can’t control themselves? Do jobs and schools give people time off for heats and ruts? Is it considered antiquated and anyone who struggles with their biology is considered lazy or stupid? Do celebrities sometimes get in trouble with fans or even lose their jobs/prestige after showing off their new mating mark? GIVE ME THE WORLD BUILDING I WANT TO KNOW! But if it’s a really boring traditional A/B/O...like, what’s the point there? 

Please don’t misunderstand me here. These three examples are all things that are WILDLY stupid in their own rights, and I love them dearly both because of and regardless of that!

50. Can we get a teaser for an upcoming chapter?

It’s All Fun and Games Until...Stop! Stop! We’re Already Gay!

AKA the one where they all go to Mystacor to relax in the steam grotto and have to deal with seeing one another in tight fitting and wet underwear. The thirst is high.

“So…” Bow started conversationally as Sea Hawk put the finishing touches on Bow’s freshly painted nails. “How doomed are they? Are we making bets?”

Mermista and Sea Hawk made significant eye contact before looking at him pitifully. 

“What?” Bow asked, starting to sweat nervously. “What!?”

“Nothing, just-” Sea Hawk didn’t even get to finish.

“You need to get your girlfriend to get her girlfriends under control, and like, I knooooow that’s a tall order or whatever. But uuuuuuuuugggggghhh, we are going to die.”

“Girlfriend!?” Bow’s voice cracked painfully. “Ha! A-ha! Ha! W-who? I don’t, I don’t have a girlfriend, what are you even talking about?”

“Uuuuuggggggghh!”

“There, there my dear. We have survived worse.”

[danger-honey]

Last week

It’s getting rather boring here, so why not talk about what happened at my school when it was announced that it was getting suspended. This happened on March 16 and it was Monday.

It was a normal period 2 in my Physics class, and we were just working on conversions and those stuff. No one thought that it might be our last day of school for the year. Suddenly, murmurs between a couple of people started to graduate to a full on discussion with the whole class when the tweet was announced from our mayor.

Eventually our teacher caught on and checked her emails, as all the teachers in the province received a more in-depth announcement about the suspension. She started reading it off the class.

First, the suspension will take off at the 20th, but for the remaining days leading towards it everyone is excused. That means you don’t have to come, being absent doesn’t affect your grades and won’t be recorded at all. That also means that our remaining projects and assignments don’t matter anymore, the teachers can’t mark it.

Then, to everyone’s belief, our teacher announced that our current grades are now our final grades. So all the grade 12s eligible to graduate are graduating as well. That’s when everyone went insane.

A good bunch of grade 12s in my class just picked their stuff up and left the building, there’s no point in trying anymore. Most of the class cheered, but understandably there’s a few who began to panic. I heard a group of people planning where they should hangout after class, not caring to go on through the rest of the school day. The guy behind me was phoning his parents informing them about what’s happening, I’m sure there were other people doing the same thing. While I’m sorta happy, I couldn’t help but worry about the teachers.

There’s a group of classmates asking a bunch of questions to the teacher, who was still baffled by all this. What we’re all wondering was when is this suspension going to over, if it ever will, because this final grade policy is sure as hell making it sound like the school year is over. There’s a few asking her how they’ll up their grade last minute, and there’s us who’s just wondering how we’ll continue learning over the indefinite break.

Thing is, the teachers learned about this at the same time as the rest of us! They weren’t warned beforehand, they were just as lost as the students. To make matters worse? The teachers in our province are under strike, and they’re currently under sanctions. The sanctions include that they can only do their job during school hours, meaning teachers can’t contact and communicate with students outside school hours and vise versa. So you want to ask the teacher to extend the due date for a homework but its already 4pm? Good luck! And now this just further complicates our education and how the teachers are gonna teach. Lastly, the majority of them weren’t even provided with online teaching.

The bell rang, and there’s a 15 min break time between period 2 and 3. Seems like the entire school learned about the suspension at the same time, as everyone began running towards their friends and began celebrating. It was the loudest the hallways have been I’m pretty sure. Immediately during the break the principal announced for a staff meeting, I could only imagine how that went since it took about 30 min for my period 3 teacher to come in the classroom after the break and he looked STRESSED.

After lunch, my remaining class only had half the people in them. I’m pretty sure everyone who’s happy about this left already, as the fear of what’s actually happening finally settled in. Most people who remained are just curious about what this means about their education. The classes that day didn’t even teach, it just turned into hour-long discussion about how much we don’t know about what’s next.

When school was over, the hallways had a much different atmosphere than during the break. It was more somber almost, as if that legit was the last day of school, and it pretty much is for some of the grade 12s lol. The students were instructed to clean out their lockers, something we were always told to do when the semester is over, so I guess that helped with the feeling.

Like a lunatic, I went to school the day after. But it was mainly to get some closure with the teachers about how I should continue their classes through the suspension. There was only like 3-5 people in each class, it was kinda surreal to see the school so empty, at times it felt like I was the only one there. I’m more concerned about my AP classes, the college board already announced that they’re modifying their exams for this year, so I’m not even sure what to study for it anymore.

I didn’t attend to school after that though, I could only imagine how empty it was on the last day it was open. But yeah, I miss school. It’s so wrong and weird not doing anything when I should be learning about psychology and Freud’s absurd theories right now.

Though hey, I guess this is a good time to practice some Tekken right now, eh?

[wilay14]

Adventures in Seoul

I think I have always made clear how much I like f(x), particularly Krystal (don’t get me wrong, I still do), but recently my feelings have started to shift. This happened ever since I got the chance to meet Luna, almost 3 weeks ago.

Coincidentally, she was performing in the reprise of the musical adaptation of Gone With the Wind, playing the role of Scarlett O’Hara. I remembered watching the movie a long time ago, and figured that even without knowing enough Korean, I’d still be able to follow the story... So after much pondering and pretty much almost giving up on going to watch Luna perform, I managed to book a ticket to see her last performance on July 25th.

A lot happened and I was about 10 min late tp the show, so I had to wait outside for a bit before they let me in. Spent the first half of the play on a seat located in the last row. Luckily, the theater was built in a way that even being in that spot, it was still possible to view the stage quite well, so it wasn’t too bad.

After the show, which was quite entertaining, considering I couldn’t understand much of what was being said, I was about to head back to where I’m staying (my “home” for the time being, I guess?) when I spotted a group of about 20 people from afar.

It was pretty late already, but I decided to stick around in hopes I could at least catch a glimpse of Luna and maybe even take a photo OF her (not WITH her cause I am unworthy lmao).

Anyway, we probably waited for about 20-30 min before she came out, and she just started taking selfies with the people who asked for one. I haven’t had the chance to meet that many celebrities, but I know there are people who won’t even acknowledge their fans, so I was pleasantly surprised.

Then, she just walked right into the center of the mini mob we had formed, and started talking with us almost as if we had known each other since forever; as well as saying hi to the fans she managed to recognize. Among the presents she got from some of them, there were several bouquets and expensive-looking cakes and desserts. She seemed pleased. She was also signing autographs for everyone.

The whole 30 minutes we were there, in the heat, surrounded by what sounded hundreds of cicadas being as noisy as ever, I couldn’t stop trembling. It felt like a dream, or maybe even a hallucination.

I hadn’t prepared anything for her to sign -hell, I wasn’t even planning to wait for her-, and I just so happened to have  marker with me. I originally wanted her to sign my passport, and after googling if it was okay to do that only to find out it could get me in trouble, I took the next best thing I had with me at the time; the envelope where my ticket was given to me the day before. A fan from either Taiwan or China told me to move forward if I wanted an autograph. She was carrying a big camera, so I figured she must be one of the few fansites left supporting only Luna. She was nice, but I didn’t even get to ask for her name.

I still kept my passport out to show her how to spell my name, and for her to see where I came from (Mexico). She seemed surprised, and spoke to me in English (basic stuff, cause I’ll later come to realized she’d always said it’s not something she’s good at).

I still wonder if she could notice my legs about to give in due to nervousness. I also wonder how many times she’s seen that before haha.

Anyway, I found my entry permit inside my passport and circled my name, to show it to her so she could sign my envelope -right after our less than memorable conversation-; I only managed to point at the circled word, while she doubtingly asked me in Korean “this one?” to which I just nervously nodded, almost embarrassed.

I was so close to her it honestly still doesn’t feel real. I managed to snap a few shots of her with my shitty phone, thoughn most of them look super LQ or blurry haha.

Anyway, she stayed with us for about 30 minutes, even though her manager had arrived a while ago and was waiting for her to wrap it up so they could leave. Her family was already in the car. She also talked about her upcoming SMTOWN performance, only I didn’t understand it at the time lol. I completely forgot her birthday was coming up soon.

Fast-forward to a couple weeks later, I see the announcement about the application period and guidelines for her birthday party. I apply to BOTH of them and, being the unlucky fuck I am, don’t get selected for either one. I was bummed, but had made up my mind to at least go to the SM building, cause they had mentioned there was a slight possibility of getting in if people canceled last minute.

I got there like 2 hours before it started and, sure enough, people were starting to arrived; waiting until after 5 was nerve-wracking, to say the least.

My Korean is barely starting to pick up, so I can’t have conversations with people. Then again, being one of the more evident foreigners present, they quickly identified me and knew I had no “invitation”. She arrived probably about 20 min before it started, I recognized the van from last time.

Anyway, by the time the selected people had entered, only a girl and I were left. She had been selected, but forgot to bring a copy of Free Somebody with her; without it she wasn’t allowed inside either. She noticed I had brought mine with me, and desperately tried to buy it off from me. I didn’t bulge cause she didn’t have any cash with her at that moment, but I was pretty close to telling her to just take it; I just felt bad because she was about to cry.

Then another girl arrived and a staff member came out and told us to wait a little after 5, and MAYBE they could let us in. Spoiler Alert: they did.

I was number 102/100 haha.

They rushed us inside and quickly sat us at the back, and gave us each a balloon with the Free Somebody logo on it. I was almost next to the camera with which they recorded the video uploaded on f(x)’s official FB page and instagram account. There was a smaller camera too, so I suspect Luna was also recording for her Youtube Channel.

It was a fun party, and I was able to confirm once again how charming Luna’s personality is. I guess this is why they used to call her Vitamin. She kept saying “sorry” with a perfect accent as a comedic relief whenever she did/say anything dumb.

We also got to see the birthday messages from Victoria, Amber and Krystal. Luna started tearing up and her manager had to bring her tissues. She suggested to him we should all record a message for the 3 of them, telling them we love them, and so we did. There wasn’t a lot of space for the manager to set the right angle, so there’s a chance I’m not even featured in it.

We sang happy birthday and she answered some questions. Then there was a lottery among the selected people where they got signed balloons and polaroids with her.

When it was over, roughly an hour or so later, she said she had a surprise for us; she had taken the time to handwrite and sign 100 cards for the attendees. I was given one even though I wasn’t supposed to get anything. I’m glad I did. This marks the second autograph I get from her.

She is a gift that keeps on giving. She’s also super talented and overall such a nice, awesome person; she does hands-on charity work whenever her schedule allows her to. She supports Animal Rights as well as Female Rights; she’s done campaigning for both in the past. 

I really wish more people could see that. I really wish more people could support her, especially her music, which as of lately, is all self-composed and just SO GOOD. 

She deserves the world, and she’s been working her ass off for it. She’s being criticized for an infinity of things. She’s been through a lot since debuting, and finally she’s able to do what she likes most, which is singing/performing. I’m just so glad I became a MeU, and I’ll keep supporting her as much as I’m able to, for as long as I can. 

Please give Luna -Park Sunyoung- a chance to captivate you the way she has done with me, all in the span of these past few weeks.