#one days hes like HOW COME U NEVER THREATEN SODA

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

I think years after the events of the book when things are a bit more stable darry LOVES to threaten to put Pony in a boys home every time he won't listen to him

[swee7dream]

haii!!! i saw u posted the 127 masterlist im SO excited to see what u write for them (and wayv in the near future)

could u write cg! yuta w a little!f! reader whos regressing around him for the first timr... thatd be cute methinks :3 thank u for ur time and consideration

- @aeriaeri

greetings and introductions cg!yuta x reader

genres agere content, established relationship, fluff warnings i wrote about watching a movie i've never seen before, indirect mention of yuta as an idol dni if you sexualize age regression word count 1802

Yuta has done lots of hard things in his life. Really hard things.

He’s traveled to a foreign country with nothing but a dream and a Japanese-to-Korean dictionary. He’s lived all of his adult life in front of a camera and under the harsh criticisms of the internet. He’s watched his friends (read: Haechan and Taeyong) live-react to his acting projects in person.

But no matter what he’s experienced in the past, it’s always the now that feels the most threatening and terrifying. Now that he’s standing outside of your door, Yuta feels his heart in his throat and his stomach and coming out of his-

The undoing of your lock pulls him out of his thoughts, gulping and clutching the large stuffed animal he ordered a couple of days ago closer to his chest.

He hopes you like him.

“Hey.” You don’t look at him in the eyes when you open the door, only step back for him to come in. “How was the trip?”

“Fine. Good.” He clears his throat into his free hand as he steps in, looking around your place. It’s not as if he hasn’t been here before. He’s come over several times, the number of sleepovers innumerable in his mind. “You?”

It’s a Sunday, you have no reason to be out at all today. Still, you answer, relocking the door as he takes off his shoes and places them next to yours.

“Fine too. Take a seat,” you invite, shuffling your way to the kitchen. “I’m getting a glass of water. You want one?”

“I’ll take a coke if you have any.”

“You got it.”

You take the bottle from the fridge, still as full as the last time your boyfriend came over because you hate how the carbonation bites the inside of your throat when it goes down. You’re careful when pouring it, the light foam takes over more and more of the glass until it nearly overflows, the soda itself filling only about 20% of the glass.

As you wait for the bubbles to fizzle out so you can pour again, Yuta takes a spot on your couch. He’s stiff as a doll, feeling almost strange that his knees didn’t creak when he sat down. This apartment that has your scent and all your belongings, it’s the same but oh so different all at once. He feels almost stupid for not noticing all these little things before.

Under his feet is the fluffy green rug with no table over it, left open for napping and drawing and crafting. It’s an incomplete picture, being able to see your figure in his mind but not any details because… he hasn’t met you yet. Not this side of you that you’ve shown to a number of people you could count on one hand.

“Babe.”

The bottle of Coca-Cola is back in the fridge and you’re standing in front of him now. It’s the first time you meet each other’s eyes today and the anxieties of the past 24 hours seem to flow out through the spaces in his teeth, revealed when he smiles.

Your standing in between his legs gives him the perfect chance to wrap his arms around your torso and pull you close enough for him to rest his chin on your tummy.

“I missed you,” he says.

“I missed you too,” you reply, feeling somewhat cocky at the familiar lovesick look on Yuta’s face. He makes you feel loved and loveable. It’s strange, but you can’t help but want to monopolize that expression to only you like a dragon with its hoard of treasure. “Can you take your soda now? My hand is freezing.”

“Mmm… can’t I just hold you a little longer? Please?” he whines, dropping his nose to tickle your stomach.

“You can hold me on the couch, you big baby.”

You hear mumbles of ‘it’s not the same’ but he relents, taking the glass from you so you can curl up next to him, throwing the blanket folded over the back of the sofa on your lap when you begin feeling cold. The doll Yuta brought is crushed between the couch arm and his side when he scooches over to make room for you to lay next to him.

“I’m nervous,” you admit, cheek on his upper arm.

That gets a hum of confusion from him, echoing out from the glass as he drinks.

“Why?”

“What if I scare you off? What if you’re, like, ‘yeah no, I’m checking out of this freakshow.’?”

“’I’m checking out of this freakshow’?” He smiles and you can’t help but break too. It’s ridiculous for him to say that, especially to you of all people, but it usually takes expressing your anxieties aloud to re-realize that.

“…anyway. Put on something on the TV.” You tap him gently.

“Cirque de Soleil?”

“You’re annoying.”

“Moulin Rouge?”

“If you don’t-”

“Oh, I got it! Dumbo.” He struggles for a moment before pulling the soft plush doll of a gray elephant in his hand. He holds it like an award with a grin so wide you wouldn’t have guessed his heart is nearly beating out of his chest, hoping he didn’t push you when you’re not ready yet.

You glare at him for a good five seconds in silence, the tilt of his head faking innocence.

“Do what you want.” You sigh at his smugness, gently taking the toy into your hands, your thumbs coursing over the fur before holding it close.

“I always do, baby.” Your face is peppered in kisses that taste like coke. “You like it?”

“It’s okay.”

—

The original 1941 motion picture Dumbo is considered one of the studio's shortest animated films at 64 minutes long. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to get comfortable, ten minutes in fact.

Around 20 minutes in, Yuta called for the smart home assistant to turn the lights down and give you a smirk (“What a thoughtful gift! I wonder who was so considerate so as to buy you something like that.”). Around minute 42 is when he notices how quiet you’ve gotten, looking over to see you with your thumb’s nail in between your teeth and a twinkle his mind is trying to help him recall in his memories in your unblinking, focused eyes.

He’s seen it before, when you went to the amusement park, playing carnival games; and the times you’ve gone to the mall, walking past the toy stores.

“You okay, baby?”

“Okay…” you mumble in response.

The person who is not okay is him. Once again he’s stiffened up. The realization that you’ve probably slipped in front of him has his heart in his throat again. It’s not like the other times, this time he knows what’s going through your mind and you don’t have to push down your instincts. He’s not going to mess this up for you, he promised to himself.

—

Yuta doesn’t know how to not mess this up, he realizes a minute later. So he chooses to not do or say anything at all unless you ask him to. It’s a good strategy, he comes to discover.

As the credits roll, you begin to speak, Yuta takes note of its softness, the rhythm your words have different than usual. You’re still you, obviously, but he can’t help but think about how truly different the air around you has become, as if there were another person that you shared a body with and he can’t help but love just as much as he does you.

“Like Dumbo’s mama. ‘s a good mama.”

“…yeah. She sure is, baby.”

“Wish I had a mama like Dumbo’.”

“Why’s that?”

”She just so nice. She beats up all o’ Dumbo’s mean bullies and doesn’ even blame him when she goes to lelephant jail.”

“She is pretty nice,” he agrees, eyes crinkling at your attempt at the word ‘elephant’. “You know what? I want to be like Dumbo’s mama too. I wanna protect you just like she does her baby.”

“Yuta wanna be my mama?”

“Well, I’m a boy, baby.” He laughs, gazing softly at the genuine twinkle in your eyes. “…but I can be your mama. Anytime you want me to.”

“Mean it?”

“Yeah, baby. Of course I mean it.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

The moment makes him smile. This is you, the one who manages to console him even though he’s the one who had to cancel your date. The one who brings him coffee at crazy hours when not even the sun is awake. The one he introduced to his family with his chest puffed out and never regretted since.

But it’s also not.

This is a part of you that hasn’t gone through any of those things yet and does not worry about things like gas prices or separating whites from colored. At this moment, when the credits to Dumbo roll on the TV and rain begins to hit the windows of the apartment, you’re a brand new canvas. Right here, right now, it’s as if none of the bad things that you’ve gone through ever happened and he’s able to block them out from happening again for you.

Loosening your grip on the elephant plushie you hold tight to your chest, Yuta slips his hand into yours and locks your pinky fingers. To seal the oath, he brings your hand up to his lips, still connected with his.

“Pinky promise.”

“So nice to me. I love you lots.” You sigh satisfactorily, your turn to rub your nose on him like he did less than two hours ago. “But Yuta not a mama.”

His fingers settle on the top of your head, dark eyebrows raised when he looks down at you, eyes shut with tiredness.

“No?”

“No.” You mumble into his shirt. “Dun’ like it. Want ‘nother name.”

“What if I like Mama?” He whispers, trying not to wake you from this half-submersion you’re in inside Morpheus’ arms. His bottom lip pouts out, trying to replicate just how adorable you look to him, fully aware of how he could never compare.

“No.”

“Aw man. Okay, baby. We’ll figure out another name for me another time okay? Why don’t you close those pretty eyes for me right now?”

“Yuta stay?”

“Yuta’ll stay. I’ll see you tomorrow, baby.”

“T’morrow…”

“Tomorrow…”

author's note this was difficult to execute. age regression from an outsider's point of view is not easy to describe ... still, i hope it was an enjoyable read ! constructive criticism and feedback is appreciated in all my works but especially this one (⸝⸝⸝>﹏<⸝⸝⸝)

[lakesandquarries]

Hands of Time

Summary:

“You lied to me,” Benrey says.

Tommy jumps, and the soda can’s fall speeds up. “H - Benrey! Uh, I didn’t hear you walk over here.”

“You lied to me,” Benrey says again, and Tommy’s face goes pale.

-

Tommy has some interesting powers that he maybe forgot to tell Benrey about. Benrey's not happy.

Inspired by this art by @fan-arter ! Thank u again for letting me write this :)

AO3 Link

The hall is silent as Tommy lets his hands drop, bullets falling to the floor. “Uh!” he says, voice a sharp squeak. “I! Can explain!”

Benrey doesn’t say anything, leaning against the wall, helmet making a loud thud as it hits the cold concrete.

“How long have you been able to do that??” Gordon asks. He’s grabbing onto his gun-arm again, fingers digging into the skin. “Tommy. What the hell was that?”

Tommy makes a noise like a mouse getting its tail stepped on. “I - I’m not good at it. That’s the first time I’ve ever done it successfully!”

“ Successfully? ” Gordon repeats, raising an eyebrow. “So you - you have done it before, then, right? Is there anything else you can do?” Gordon asks. There’s something in his voice, almost like hope.

“I can’t go backwards. Or forwards. Just - pause.” He wrings his hands together, shaking almost imperceptibly. “I didn’t - It doesn’t usually work -”

Gordon groans, dropping his arm so he can rub at his face. “Am I the only normal human here?”

“You have a gun arm,” Bubby points out.

“Yeah, and whose fault is that? ”

Bubby’s eyes narrow. “Hmph,” he says, turning on his heel and leaving the room.

“Fucking - no, I’m not gonna apologize for that. Okay. Okay! This is - Tommy, do you think you could do that again?”

Tommy’s fingers tap together. “Maybe?”

“Well, uh. Try, I guess. Might be helpful. Let’s...lets just keep going.”

Benrey stays silent, trailing behind the group at a distance.

---

He waits until it’s sleep time to say anything. They’re in a mostly empty storage room, Coomer and Bubby curled up against some boxes and Gordon digging around trying to find anything useful. Tommy’s by the door, picking up and dropping an empty soda can repeatedly, staring at it intensely.

“You lied to me,” Benrey says.

Tommy jumps, and the soda can’s fall speeds up. “H - Benrey! Uh, I didn’t hear you walk over here.”

“You lied to me,” Benrey says again, and Tommy’s face goes pale.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“This whole time,” Benrey says, clenching his fists, “this whole fucking time , you - you’ve been hiding this. You didn’t - I thought you trusted me.” His voice is flat, even though a part of him wants to scream.

“I do!” Tommy says, shooting up to his feet. Benrey takes a step back. It’s one thing to argue with Tommy while he’s sitting down, another to argue with him while he stands a full foot taller than Benrey. His lab coat barely even goes past his waist. “I wanted to! But - you know how Black Mesa is, if they found out, I’d just be another ex - another experiment-”

“Worst thing to be, huh? Just another lab rat. Didn’t wanna deal with that. But - you didn’t have that problem when it was me. ” He clenches his fists tighter, feeling his nails - claws - dig into his skin. “You could’ve - you could’ve done something -”

“I’m not that good yet,” Tommy protests.

“You could’ve at least let me know I wasn’t alone -” He takes a step forward, feeling his form distort, teeth growing longer and eyes opening up on his forehead, his cheeks, his neck - “You lied to me .”

“Okay, what the hell is going on over here?” Gordon asks suddenly, stepping in between the two of them. Benrey freezes, forcing his form back into something more human.

“I-its okay, Mr. Freeman, Benrey’s just upset -”

“There’s never any just when it comes to Benrey,” Gordon says, glaring at them. “Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but -”

“This doesn’t involve you,” Benrey says, but it comes out more like a growl.

“It does if you’re threatening people!” He throws up his arms, grabbing his hair with the not-gun one.

“Stay out of this -”

Gordon takes a step forward right as Benrey does, holding his gun-arm out. Benrey shifts his hands back into claws, bracing himself, and then -

He can’t move.

“ Stop it! ” Tommy yells. Benrey can only look out of the corner of his eye, but he can see Tommy’s hands raised, see the tears streaming down his face. “Stop fighting! ”

Gordon makes a strangled noise, eyes darting around wildly. Tommy shuts his eyes, taking deep breaths.

“I - If I let you go you can’t keep fighting, you’re my friends , I don’t -” he makes a hiccuping noise, dropping his hands. Benrey nearly crashes to the ground as his limbs return to him. Gordon’s not as lucky - he drops into a heap on the floor. It takes him a moment to get back up, the shuffling noises of the HEV suit scraping against the ground providing cover for Tommy’s sobs.

“Sorry,” Gordon mumbles. “I didn’t - I just wanted to make sure Benrey wasn’t gonna try anything.”

“H-he wouldn’t,” Tommy manages, looking at Benrey. “Right?”

When Benrey freezes this time, it’s his own doing. “No! No, I just -”

“I - I should’ve told you,” Tommy says, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “I was scared. I was scared that - that someone else would find out, or that you’d be mad, or -”

“I’m only mad you didn’t tell me -”

“Benrey,” Tommy says sharply, “what if - what if I’d told you this when we were kids? And I couldn’t control it at all? And you were - stuck here, and I wasn’t, and -”

“Not - not in front of him ,” Benrey says, nodding his head towards Gordon, still standing there awkwardly.

“I feel like I’m missing something here,” Gordon mutters, running his hand through his hair. “But, uh, I don’t think it’s any of my business so I’ll go...be over there?” He gestures vaguely to where Bubby and Coomer are sitting. He takes a few slow steps backwards, looking at Tommy expectantly, then sighs when Tommy is silent. “Okay. I’m not going to sleep until - all this is figured out, you know. I -”

“Mr. Freeman, it’s okay. We’re just gonna talk.”

Gordon gives Benrey another suspicious look before turning on his heel and walking briskly over to the others.

Tommy waits a moment to continue, making sure Gordon isn’t listening in. He’s leaning against a box with Bubby and Coomer, and even at a distance Benrey can see he’s struggling not to fall asleep.

“I understand why you’re mad,” Tommy says, startling Benrey back into the conversation, “but this is why I didn't tell you! I couldn’t - I couldn’t do anything to help, and the only stuff I could do would - would be jeopardized! What happened to you wasn’t fair, but it wouldn’t be any better if it happened to me, too.”

“But I wouldn’t’ve been alone,” Benrey mumbles, pulling their helmet down to cover their face. He sighs. “I’m being stupid. I know. I know, you did everything you could, I just -” His eyes feel wet, and he blinks hard, trying to get the moisture away.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Tommy says. He takes a step forward, holding his arms out, and Benrey collapses into him.

“‘m sorry for yelling at you.”

Tommy rests his head on their helmet, the weight familiar and soothing. “If - if it helps, that’s the only thing I ever h - ever didn’t tell you. I trust you, Benrey. It was just….”

“Didn’t trust Black Mesa,” they mumble into his shoulder, and he feels Tommy nod. “Yeah. I - yeah.”

“Are we okay?”

“Yeah. Can’t - can’t stay mad at my best bro Tommy.” He holds on for a bit longer before stepping back, dusting himself off. “You should get some sleep. Been - long day.”

“Come sit next to me?” Tommy asks. Benrey nods, letting Tommy take his hand and lead him over the others. Bubby and Coomer are passed out, leaning against each other, Coomer drooling on Bubby’s shoulder. Gross.

Tommy sits down next to Gordon, who, true to his word, is still awake. Just barely, though. He looks like he was on the verge of falling asleep when Tommy and Benrey came over. “Everything good?” Gordon whispers.

“Yeah,” Tommy whispers back. Gordon nods.

“Good. I’m gonna pass out now.” He doesn’t fall asleep instantly, but it’s pretty damn close. Within a couple minutes he’s snoring softly.

Benrey takes off his helmet, leaning his head on Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy returns the favour, leaning his head on top of Benrey’s.

“Goodnight, Benrey,” he whispers.

“Night,” Benrey mumbles back.

(He wakes up to Tommy drooling on his head, like Dr. Coomer had, but for some reason he doesn’t find it gross this time.)

[deantransgressions2]

7x03 the girl next door

#1: sam uses his hand scar to break himself out of his hallucination. dean taught and encouraged this coping mechanism. aka dean encouraged sam to use self harm as a coping mechanism...knowing that sam would do anything he said.

time tag: 6:59

#2: "girl, interrupted over there" (said to bobby, about sam) why does he feel the need to talk shit ab sam w bobby every chance he gets? if he wanted sam to talk to him honestly, then maybe he shouldn't be a dick 100% of the time. especially about feelings.

time tag: 8:05

#3: "sam's not a curve. he's a frickin' time bomb" (said to bobby) ok so why do you punch him in ab a day? why do u encourage him to continue to hunt? why are u still an asshole?

time tag: 8:10

#4: punches sam the second he opens his motel room door. punches sam, who just had a serious brain injury a couple weeks ago, and who is also experiencing psychosis....dean PUNCHES him. ????? lmk what "good big brother" would ever do this.

time tag: 31:56

#5: "new rule, you steal my baby you get punched" okay . 1) new rule? sam is a grown man he doesn't need rules. and 2) he gets punched if he touches your car? oh sure that sounds fair.

god ive been waiting for this. okay true story: i once stole my older sister's car when i was 15 and i CRASHED it, dented the whole back end, and you wanna know what she did?? literally nothing. she told me i was an idiot and that was it. i sure as hell wasn't assaulted .

time tag: 32:04

#6: interesting parallel of young sam having to use a cold soda to ice his black eye, after getting beaten up by bullies...and present sam having to use a cold soda to ice the same injury, after getting beaten up by dean.

time tag: 32:08

#7: "you never told me that" yeah why the fuck would he dean? u literally get joy out of murdering monsters....

time tag: 33:54

#8: "she's dropping bodies man...which means we got to drop her, no matter how many merit badges she racked up when she was a kid. i'm sorry but it's that simple"

the way dean desperately tries to make what they do "simple" so he never has to look into the moral implications of anything he does.. it's upsetting. if he can't understand the complexity of monsters at the ripe age of 30? 31? then he shouldn't be a fucking hunter.

time tag: 34:27

#9: "look man, i get it. you meet a girl, you feel that spark, there's nothing better. but this freak?" sam's reaction to this kinda speaks for itself. but remember how many times dean called sam a freak in s1-5?? if dean views amy as a cold blooded killer that needs to be murdered, then how does he view sam, if he calls them the same term?

time tag: 35:25

#10: sam, the only one that has history with amy, the only one that talked with amy about the recent deaths, says amy doesn't need to be killed. dean doesn't believe him even though he has 0 evidence to prove otherwise.

time tag: 35:59

#11: "look you don't trust her, fine. trust me." (sam to dean) dean has said multiple times he doesn't value or trust sam's opinion on anything, ever. so kinda dumb of sam to ask him of this ngl.

time tag: 36:28

#12: deans says that he will trust sam because he "got to start sometime, right?" which is a fat ass lie.

time tag: 36:43

#13: "but people, they are who they are. no matter how hard you try, you are what you are." (said to amy) wow. what a beautifuly horrific, degrading, dumbass poem dean. THIS is why sam believed that voicemail in the church with lilth. THIS is why moc!dean is just regular dean. THIS is why dean is 15x17 is not ooc.

time tag: 38:25

#14: "trust me i'm an expert" (said to amy) an expert?? on monsters? no. ur an expert on killing monsters, not monsters lives themselves. SAM knew what amy went through, he knew what it was like to hate what you are, what it's like to try and defy the evil inside you. dean doesn't know jack shit about that. he isnt an expert, he's a bratty child who craves attention.

time tag: 38:35

#15: killed amy. dean knew she had a son. he knew amy was a mortician, and thats how her and jacob got the food to survive. he knew all this yet still murdered amy, and left jacob an orphan. jacob now has no other choice but to murder to survive. very smart dean. big brain.

time tag: 39:14

#16: "you ever kill anyone? well if you do i'll come back for you." (said to JACOB) he's like 8 leave him the hell ALONE dean. threatening a child? god none of us are surprised.

time tag: 29:25

[lvanter]

note: :(( hi :(( i accidentally deleted the first one so :(( repost :(( also like disclaimer i’m not assuming felix’s sexuality schsjs this is pure fiction :] okay hope u enjoy it :] bc i really like it

warnings: coming out, kissing,

wc: 2.9k

years in between. fl

felix is 10 when he first meet you.

chris, felix’s older brother, came home from school later than expected.

another thing that wasn’t expected was you walking into the house with him, holding your backpack tightly. felix was sat at the dinner table with his dad doing some homework.

“chris? you’re home late,” his dad looked up from the work laying on the table. “who’s this?”

chris proudly introduced you as the new kid in his class and his new best friend.

felix’s eyes widened when he looked at you. you had a yellow raincoat on and a pair of worn out black sneakers, and you were slight wet from the rain. chris, on the other hand, was drenched.

“i fell into a puddle,“ chris admitted, his cheeks growing hot. nobody asked, but he knew they were going to.

his father nodded, a smile finding its way onto his lips, “you two should get dry. i’ll get some towels,“

as their father left to get towels, chris gestured for you to take your shoes and jacket off, while he did the same. he walked over to felix and ruffled his hair, “hey, lix,”

“hi,” felix smiled happily at his older brother.

“(name), this is my little brother felix,” chris introduced, his hand on felix’s shoulder

“hi, felix,“

you shot him a smile. a smile that would be engraved into his mind for a very long time.

felix is 12 when he comes to the conclusion that he’s bisexual.

he comes to the conclusion when he imagines kissing lee minho, his neighbor, for the nth time, after having a yet another daydream about how lovely it would be to date yoo jeongyeon, his math tutor.

tears were streaming down his face that night. he was supposed to like girls! and girls only! this could not be happening. he tried to stay quiet as he cried, to no avail. within a few minutes chris was hugging him tightly and running his hand up and down felix’s back to soothe and comfort him.

felix remembers stuttering and stammering what was wrong through the tears running down his face at a rapid speed. he remembers chan pulling him closer and telling him that it was okay and that he was still felix.

“but…” felix sniffled, “but aren’t i supposed to only like girls?”

chris gave him a resecuring and yet sad smile, “you can like whoever you want, lix,”

“really?”

“yeah!” chris gave him another smile, this time happier, “whoever you want! as long as they’re a nice person,“ he teased, pointing a finger at his younger brother.

(name) is a nice person, was the first thought that came to mind, but felix didn’t dare say it out loud, in fear of what chris would say.

chris ended up sleeping in felix’ bed, holding him tight.

the next day felix told his best friends, kim seungmin and han jisung. the pessimistic part of felix was sure they were gonna hate him and never talk to him again. but the response he got was far from that; they ended up cuddling on the couch in seungmin’s living room. seungmin busy wiping felix’ tears away and calming him down, while jisung made a fort and found all their favorite movies.

telling his parents was the hardest and chris knew that, so he made sure he was holding felix’s hand as tightly as he could, to give the younger one more comfort. chris was positive their parents would accept their youngest child’s sexuality.

felix, however, was not. he had made the mistake of telling chris he was fine, and therefore had to sleep alone the night before, leaving room to overthink.

the room got uncomfortably hot for felix, as soon as their parents sat down at the dining table, like he had asked them to.

“mom, dad,” felix began, tightening his grip on chris’ hand. “i’m...” he gulped, “i’m...”

felix closed his eyes forcefully. the words ‘i can’t’ repeated in his head, ‘they’re gonna hate me’

“i’m……..” the words kept getting stuck in throat.

“you’re what, sweetheart?” his mom asked, in the tone she usually had when she spoke to her youngest child.

“i’m bi,” he whispered so lowly only chris heard him.

“what?” it was their dads turn to speak, “felix, you know how we feel about mumbling,”

chris leaned closer to felix so he could whisper into his ear, “do you want me to say it?”

felix nodded without saying anything.

chris took a deep breath before speaking,“felix is bisexual,”

the silence that fell over the room made felix want to hide away and cry. he closed his eyes, not wanting to see his parents disgusted faces (and to stop the tears, that were threatening to fall). before he could stop himself the tears began to fall. the words ‘they hate me’ repeated themselves over and over again in his head.

he felt someone wipe his tears away. at first he thought i was chris, but the hands felt rougher. dad?

felix opened his his eyes, and through the tears he could make out his dads kind face.

“it’s okay, felix,” his dad rubbed his back to comfort him (the same way chris had done it when he first found out).

“you…you don’t hate me?” felix managed to get out, tears still falling.

“oh, lixie,” his mom stood up and walked over to the boys, “we could never hate you, okay.” she said, taking her sons hands.

that night felix and chris slept on the couches in the living room (their parent went to sleep in their bed, and didn’t want to wake their sons up), after a long evening of watching felix’ favorite movies and eating take out.

“chris?” felix whispered, twenty minutes after midnight.

“hmm?” chris on hummed in response. he was very close to falling asleep.

“thank you,”

“it’s nothing, lixie, i’ve got you,”

felix cuddle closer into his big brother, and fell asleep quickly. he couldn’t remember the last time he slept that well.

felix is 14 when he’s sure he’s in love with you.

felix didn’t know much about love.

he had never been in love. sure, he’s had crushes (like the ones he had on yoo jeongyeon and lee minho), but they never lasted longer than a few months. the one he’s had on you, however, has lasted for 4 years…but he wasn’t sure if it was love or if he just found you cool and good looking.

he became sure that day a carnival was in town, and his parents had taken him and chris. after trying a bunch of rides and eating very overpriced and unhealthy foods, chris had spotted you and waved you over.

you were with your dads family, felix learned. you had ruffled his hair and given chris the usual hug.

“hi, chrissy,“ you said, hugging your best friend, before ruffling felix’ hair, “hi, lix,“

lix… you only called him lix, never felix, or fefe like jisung did when he wanted to tease him. it made his heart beat faster than it should, and usually left him kinda dizzy.

“h-hi, (name),“ he stuttered, silently cursing at himself afterwards. why did he have to stutter? why couldn’t he talk normally around you?

your dad’s family and their parents had begun to talk, leaving you, chris and felix to go on rides by yourselves. you ended up in a ‘coffee cup ride’, where you sit in a coffee cup and spin around.

felix gulped slightly as he sat down in front you. you gave him a smile, the one that always made his heart pound.

“you nervous?” you asked him.

“on-only a little,”

why did i have to stutter? felix groaned inwardly at himself.

“it’s okay, lix, i am too,”

felix gave you a shy smile and the ride started. felix felt the wind run through his hair, it felt nice. he could barely open his eyes, as the ride continued. he was well aware that he was gonna get dizzier because he closed his eyes, so he forced them open.

the first thing he saw was you. your smile was wide and your eyes curled up, as you held on tight on the table in the middle. you looked so happy and free. felix was sure everything seemed to slow down, as you laughed happily.

the sight was the most beautiful felix had ever seen.

his hands began began to move closer to grab yours unconsciously. before he could realize it he had grabbed it and you had given it a squeeze in return, without looking at him.felix felt himself begin to sweat a little at your touch.

you had held his hand before, but that was when he was a kid and still needed to hold somebody’s hand when he crossed the street.

now he was a grown up….okay, no, he wasn’t, but like every 14 year-old he liked to think he was.

is this what love feels like? he asked himself, as he kept watching you laugh and smile as the ride kept going. his heart was pounding, his cheeks was red and hot, and his stomach was filled with butterflies.

felix didn’t know much about love, but from what he’s read and seen in movies, this is what it feels like.

felix is 16 when he gets his heart broken for the first time.

felix wasn’t hungry, but chris was. and felix being the younger one of the two had been forced to go get the food.

chris had given felix the address to a small chinese restaurant, around 15 minutes away from their home.

felix actually didn’t mind getting the food. he liked going for walks, they cleared his head. his head that was filled with thoughts about you (and maybe the homework he had gotten).

the door to the restaurant dinged quietly as it opened. felix stood and scanned the restaurant for a moment. a family of five sitting, two girls, an old couple, a couple of friends, nothing too exciting. the foods scent got to felix, making his stomach grumble. okay, maybe he was hungry after all.

he went up to the counter, got the food and paid. he was happily on his was out when a guy—a couple of years older than him, if felix were to guess—walked through the door, slightly bumping into felix on the way.

“oh, sorry,” the guy gave felix an apologetic smile, to which felix just gave him a nod and a, “it’s fine,”

felix walked out the door, when his phone vibrated. he pulled it out of his back pocket as he stood outside the restaurant.

from chris: can u get some soda too uwu

felix made a grimace at his brothers use of uwu.

to chris: only if u promise me that ure never gonna say uwu again

from chris: fine :(

from chris: btw do u see (name)??? they should be on a date there right now w their boyfie

felix’s heart sank as he read the text. a date? you were on a date? felix quickly looked into the restaurant, through the big windows. his eyes found you easily. he found you just in time to see you pull the same guy that bumped into felix in for a kiss; the kind of kiss felix wished he could give you.

felix felt sick. while he didn’t have any real hope you liked him, he still wished you did. he tried to tear his eyes away from you, to no avail. you saw him and waved, but the only thing he wanted to do was cry. he waved back unenthusiastically, and gripped the bag with the food tighter. he ran home. felix hated running.

when he got home he threw the bag on the couch beside chris, and went to his room, ignoring chris asking how much he owed.

felix threw himself onto his bed. he had no expectations and was still let down. of course you didn’t like him, he was just your best friends’ younger brother. he tried to distract himself—both from you and his grumbling stomach. it didn’t work all to well.

felix went the bed early that day, hungry and heartbroken.

felix is 18 when he has his first kiss.

it was with hwang hyunjin, his best friend (seungmin left to study in america and jisung malaysia).

felix didn’t feel embarrassed over the fact that he didn’t have it before. if he was being completely honest, he thought it was overrated (and kinda gross).

hyunjin had kissed people before, but it was something that only lasted 5 seconds. he approached felix nervously, asking if said boy could help him get better at kissing only for felix to tell him that he hadn’t even had his first kiss yet.

this shocked hyunjin probably more than it should. felix was very popular with both girls and boys, and had been on plenty of dates throughout his life, so the fact that he have never kissed somebody came as a shock.

“really?”

“yeah,” felix shrugged, laying down on hyunjins bed. he wasn’t sure why hyunjin looked so shocked.

“really?” hyunjins mouth opened and closed resembling a fish.

“yes, hyunjin,” felix repeated, “i’ve never kissed someone before,”

hyunjin thought for a bit before talking again, “can i kiss you?”

felix choked on his spit, “what?” he coughed, as hyunjin hit him on his back.

“can i kiss you? like can i be your first kiss?”

“w-why?”

hyunjins eyebrows furrowed, “what do you mean why? i wanna get better at kissing and i’m sure you wanna know what it’s like to kiss,”

“but..but we’re best friends?” felix sputtered.

“yes, meaning we trust each other,” the older boy rolled his eyes, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to obviously,”

“no, we can do it,”

“are you sure, lix?”

“yes, hyunjin, we can kiss,” felix rolled his eyes, but his heart was full of love. he knew hyunjin wanted to be completely sure he wasn’t doing anything felix didn’t want to do.

“okay then,” hyunjin nodded, slowly connecting their lips.

it was a short kiss…actually it was more of a peck. just a quick touch of their lips.

“was that okay?” hyunjin asked nervously, he really didn’t want felix to feel uncomfortable.

felix nodded. he didn’t feel anything, just hyunjin’s lips on his.

“wanna go again?” hyunjin asked.

felix shrugged, “sure,”

this time, the kiss was different. it was deeper, and felix is pretty sure some tongue was involved.

kissing is overrated, felix thought. he was following hyunjin, letting the slightly older boy take control. this time, felix pulled away first.

“how was that?” hyunjin ran a hand through his hair, messing it up.

felix shrugged again.

“don’t shrug,” hyunjin whined, making felix chuckled at his friend. “was it nice? was it too much? was it not enough? was it—“

felix cut hyunjin off, “it was fine, overrated, but fine,”

hyunjin giggled, “overrated?”

“yeah, i mean it’s nice, but i don’t get all the rage,”

“thanks, lix,” hyunjin giggled again, leaning in for a hug.

felix happily responded to the hug, “it’s nothing, jinnie,”

felix is 20 when he learns that kissing is nice, but only if it’s with you.

kissing you was something felix had always wanted to try, and after 10 years—it felt like 50—he got the chance.

you weren’t his first kiss, nor were you his second (he kissed park siyeon for a dare during a party), but you were the most memorable one.

he hesitantly pulled away, the feeling of your lips on his lingering. he let out a sigh of content, “that was…”

“that was something,” you giggled.

your giggle made felix feel warm inside, the same kind of warmth you’ve always given him. “i like you,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

“i know,”

felix’s eyes widened, “you know?”

“yeah, you’re not very good at keeping secrets,” you shrugged with your usual smile.

“but…but that means…that chris knows as well?”

“yes, he knows,”

felix could feel his face get hot. not only did you know about his crush on you, but chris did as well, “i’m...i’m sorry,” he faced the floor ashamed.

“lix, you have nothing to apologize for,”

he put his hands over his face “i made you feel uncomfortable,” his whine was muffled by his hands.

you furrowed your brows, “who told you that?”

“what?”

“who told you that your crush on me made me uncomfortable?”

felix’ held shut up, “n-no one, i just thought...”

“felix,” you sighed, grabbing his head and titling it so he face facing you, “it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. at all!”

“it..it doesn’t?”

“no!” you shook your head, “in fact….it makes me very happy,”

the look on felix’ face me you laugh; he looked, lost and hopeful, “w-what?”

“i like you too, lix,” you giggled, hands still on his cheeks.

“what?!”

“i like you,” you said, squeezing his cheeks with every word.

“you do?” felix was over the moon, he felt like he could do anything and everything. “please don’t play with me.”

“i promise you, i’m not,”

the smile that broke out on his face was heartwarming. his eyes curled up and nose scrunched. he leaned in to kissed you, trying to contain his smile.

kissing you was better than he could’ve ever imagined. he could feel you smile into the kiss, and it made his heart pound faster than it ever had.

in felix’s eyes kissing is overrated, but not if it’s with you.

[emotionaldepravity]

Since you love Starscream so much, why don't you answer some fluff alphabet prompts? Namely F, R, U and W. I'll leave the continuity up to you

OwO okay so technically these requests are closed, but its Starscream so I’m going to make an exception. I think we are going with Armada, Prime, and Cyberverse for this one. I just hdjsdhf love him! ❤❤❤❤❤

Armada

F-Feelings

-He felt nothing but shame the moment he saw you after he betrayed the Autobots. It didn’t matter what the Autobots themselves thought or even the children, but the hurt expression on your face threatened to break his spark into a million pieces. He wanted to run and pretend that he hadn’t seen you, but when you called out to him, he paused. He let you tell him that you didn’t hate him and that you never would. You only wished that you could have had more time with him, and that if he felt the same, you’d be happy to leave everything behind just to be with him. He knew then that he really did love you, and it scared him.

R-Remember

- You were curious about how it felt to ride in an air plane since you had never been in one before, and Starscream was happy to oblige. He had seen the Autobots unfazed by the children riding along with them, and he had often wondered what it would feel like. The moment you entered his cockpit he could feel your warmth. The heat you radiated surprised him, but it wasn’t unwelcome. The way you patiently waited for him to get adjusted to the idea of flying like this made him quite happy. The smile you had on your face as you peered through his windows to see the bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds as they surrounded the two of you was a treasure that he’d always take with him. 

U-Universe

- A bright shooting star you get a glimpse of just as it falls and fades into the blackness of the night

W-Why

- He loves you because you treat him as an equal being that matters. You love him so openly, knowing that there is nothing to gain from doing so. Despite knowing he has little to offer but his own affection, you still love him. He has never had anyone care for him the way you do before, and he truly is thankful for you. When you smile at him, his whole world seems brighter, and he finally has something worth fighting for. He’d do anything to keep you safe and to give you a world where this war was over. 

Prime

F-Feelings

- You were supposed to be just another worthless human that he could use as leverage against the Autobots. You were supposed to be afraid when he showed up to your house to steal you away. You were supposed to hate him for being an evil Decepticon. Yet you willingly came with him, eyes filled with nothing but pity. You had seen on more than one occasion what failure meant for Starscream, and if nothing else he always seemed to keep you safe from the other Decepticons until Optimus and the rest of Team Prime came to save you. He always kept you locked in his quarters rather than a cell which offered you some comfort as well as protection. As he stole you away, you could feel his entire frame trembling. You had pet his dash not knowing what had made him so on edge, but it wasn’t too hard make a guess. This wasn’t exactly the first time he had come to you in this state. However, you were a bit surprised when he took you not to the Nemesis, but to the wreckage of the Harbinger, a place he had taken you only when he first discovered its ruins.

 He had felt so alone staying in the damaged ship, and now, at least with you here, things didn’t seem as bad as they have been. He wasted no time letting you out and mass displacing to hold you close to his chassis. You could hear him lightly sobbing into your hair. Expecting you to want to pull away, he loosened his grip on you. However, you didn’t let him go, and instead you continued to embrace him and lightly stroke the base of his wings to comfort him. Barely above a whisper, you told him you loved him. His spark felt so full that he felt compelled to kiss you which he did. He had known for a long time that he loved you, but only now could he admit it to himself. 

R-Remember

- During one of his several information exchanges with the Autobots, he asked to see you. He was exhausted and lonely, more so than he had been in a while, and he thought if he could at least see you he’d feel a bit better just in case Ratchet refused to patch him up. Luckily, Ratchet and Bulkhead, despite their better judgement, did bring you along. The shame Starscream might have felt for you seeing him in such a sorry state vanished when you ran over to him with genuine worry painting your face. It took more willpower than he could ever admit to keep the coolant from running down his face. Perhaps it was improper for a Decepticon like him to be so close to a human, but at a moment like this, he could hardly care.

U-Universe

- Sitting absolutely alone at a party you willingly came to knowing and fearing that you’d be watching as everyone else seemed to enjoy themselves 

W-Why

- He knows better than anyone that he isn’t perfect, he is berated for it almost on a daily basis, but with you, he knows that he doesn’t have to be. He is his own worst enemy, and he knows it. However, you still don’t turn your back on him even when he feels like he doesn’t deserve your kindness or time. You aren’t some perfect saint either; your flaws keep him grounded, reminded that neither of you are perfect and that’s okay. He loves you because no matter how miserable things are you don’t turn your back on him. You are willing to tell him the hard truths and expect better of him. While the thought of expectations mortifies him, you only ask him to try. And with you supporting him, he feels like it is safe to try.

Cyberverse 

F-Feelings

- Useless, trash, weak, stupid, Megatron was quick to attribute all these words to him and more no matter how untrue Starscream believed them to be. Everyone failed their missions sometimes, but only Starscream was shamed so publicly for his mistakes or at least, that’s how it seemed to him. It was after being reminded of how much the leader of the Decpticons hated him, that he found himself pinging you for a moment of reprieve. Typically, he would hide in his habsuite and let the frustration in his spark pass, but as he had gotten to know you, he felt comfortable enough to vent to you and trust that you’d be understanding. Your voice hit him like a fresh cube of energon after a long battle. Being so supportive of him, you boosted his mood and refreshed his mind. You talked with him for hours, but it was only that you noticed how late it was getting that you told him you needed to go to bed soon. As he was about to end the communication, he just naturally told you that he loved you like it was just the typical way he would sign off. He was about to apologize when you returned the sentiment. He couldn’t wait to have another moment of freedom to hear you say it again. If he was really lucky, maybe he’d also get to hear you say it in person. 

R-Remember

- With there being a lull in the orders to attack the Autobots, Starscream had been able to spend a lot more time with you. You were slowly introducing him to Earth media, and that just so happened to include some romance movies which he seemed oddly fond of. He often asked questions about the movies, and so when he finally asked about kissing you were quite prepared to explain it. Under the guise of needing to tell him in secret, you convinced him to pick you up and when he got close enough you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He was surprised but was quick to give you one in return

U-Universe

- The hiss of a shaken up bottle of soda in a previously silent room that grows louder the longer you leave it alone

W-Why

- Before he would have said he loved you because you listen to him when he needs an ear/ audial receptor. You laugh so genuinely at his jokes and smile at him like he is the center of your world. He likes to be praised, and though he does ask, you manage to surprise him with how sincere your admiration for him is. When he had a brush with death, he thought it was destiny itself to love you and for you to love him. Nothing felt right without you. As he hung between life and death he thought realized something, that if you died and weren’t in the AllSpark with him, he would never know true peace. In the delusion that he had dreamed up, he truly believed that he came back online to make sure he can find a way for you to be with him forever. Until he can figured out how, he would just have to settle for setting all of the sparks of his fellow Cybertronians free. Of course, he now knows that he was just a mech, left for dead, praying to see you one last time. The only thing that has never changed is how much he cares about you. You really are the only things that keeps him grounded. Despite all that has happened to him, he waits for a day that he can see you again.

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

Matchup for @nad-zeta! (Milestone Celebration)

Zeta, my sweet sweet Zeta, here’s your matchup! You have been such an angel, both in your patience and your general loveliness.💛 I’m sorry it took a little longer than expected, but I hope it was worth the wait! It’s pretty long (~3000 words lolllll) so it’s all under the cut. Sorry, I got carried away! :’) xx

So, without further ado, based on the information you gave me I matched you with...

Saeyoung!

take care of my bby pls

I feel like I need to say that I kept going back and forth between him and Zen. Zen was a VERY close second, so I kinda half match you up with him too. That being said, there were some things you mentioned that made me lean more towards Saeyoung, which will be explained below :))

~

Reasoning & General Headcanons!

“🥰 i am a aries, infp, ravenclaw female 🦊”

An Aries you say...?

Need I say more? Absolute chaotic duo. The energy is buzzing, and the people you hang out are always amused by your shenanigans.

As an INFP, you are caring, loyal, and sensitive, which are traits that I believe Saeyoung would benefit from in a partner. He also hides his true emotions well, so someone with your personality type would be able to pick up on the signs that he is feeling low, even if he tries to hide it. Your loyalty and devotion also helps him feel secure, which considering everything he’s been through, is something I feel he would struggle with, particularly in the early stages of a relationship.

On the flip side, Saeyoung is also incredibly loyal. And whilst he does joke around and tease, he knows how sensitive topics and comments can affect someone, so he is never careless, especially since (as an INFP) you often take things to heart. As a team, you work well together because you view the world slightly differently. You’re an idealist, whereas he’s a realist; you focus on the big picture, whereas he has an incredible attention to detail. This is really helpful in difficult conversations, big decisions, plans for the future etc, because whilst your opinions may differ, you offer the other a different side of the story. You get the best of both worlds!

I don’t know my Harry Potter houses very well, but from my memory and a quick Google search, Ravenclaws value knowledge and are wise, intelligent and witty. Sounds familiar? ;) i mean wise is debatable lol. Your conversations are sooo interesting and natural, because you’re both very intelligent in many ways.

“i am pretty shy and difficult to get to know (apparently it took me 2 months to start opening up to my friends, ooops), i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. I am pretty aloof and blunt, like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating.”

Okay, this was one of the key things that made me match you with Saeyoung. A huge reason why I love Saeyoung so much is that there is a high level of comfort in a relationship with him. By that I mean that he is so open and fun that there is literally zero judgment. Judgment is such a foreign concept to him in this kind of situation. He makes you so comfortable that it’s so easy to be yourself around him, and it doesn’t take long for him to get to know you.

GIRL HE’S THE SAME. The king of bottling up his emotions. This means that y’all know when something is up, you can see the signs. You are understanding of each other, so discussions happen and actions are put into place before things become too much.

Saeyoung sometimes just needs to be told when he’s being a lil prick. You are kind and gentle when he needs it, but also can be blunt with him when it gets silly. I mean, if MC was like you towards the end of his route, we would have got through the whole “i’M tOo dAnGeRoUs gEt aWaY” thing SO much more quickly.

Once you’re comfy with him, you become an absolutely unstoppable force. When he teases you, you tease him back. When he’s being playful, you’re his partner in crime. Y’all are so goofy. Your life is full of laughs and joy with Saeyoung.

Sarcastic comments, dark humour and self-deprecating jokes? Yep that’s also very Saeyoung. Sometimes you two have to reel it in a bit when you’re hanging out with others because YOU’RE OUT OF CONTROL TOGETHER.

“I love my friends and family and will fight anyone who threatens them, although when it comes to me, you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly can't stand up for myself).”

IT’S LIKE HE’S LOOKING IN A MIRROR. Seriously though, he knows the importance of self worth because he knows, firsthand, the damage that can be done when you don’t value yourself and your wellbeing. He makes it his mission to help you see how worthy you are of respect and give you confidence to stand up for yourself. Even if you won’t do it for yourself, he’ll stand up for you. He cares too much about his loved ones to let them be treated wrongly.

He feels how much you love him and your other friends/family which makes him feel so secure, and he also has a phenomenal amount of love in his heart to give and he ain’t afraid to do so.

“I swear like a sailor although I am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real.”

Finds your road rage and swearing SO amusing. Constantly teasing you about it and winding you up, but it’s all in good fun.

Absolutely has a swear jar for you. No doubt about it.

“You’ve corrupted my good, Catholic ears.” “Saeyoung shut the fuck up.”

“I love nature and animals (i love my lil bunnies and dogs), i love working out/going to the gym #gym is life”

I mean, we know he adores cats, and I imagine he loves other animals too.

I also imagine he loves camping, and I don’t even know why. He just gives me camping vibes. Weekends away spent in nature, sleeping in a tent and sitting round a fire in the evenings are pretty common for you.

I know this is ~controversial~ topic in the fandom, but I am of the opinion that Saeyoung also works out.

Do I think he’s completely ripped? No, probably not. But he’s strong, lean at the very least. Even Jaehee admits it! He makes working out so much fun and it’s always a bit of a laugh.

“i enjoy cooking (i am now officially a chef), wine tasting (fancy way of saying getting very tipsy of different wines most nights), spending time with friends (especially if there is tea to be spilt) although i do need lots of alone time to recharge my social battery”

The first time he tasted your food, he almost cried. Poor boi lived off eating crisps and soda for God knows how long.

“Wait, you’re not meant to constantly feel like you're gonna throw up? Food is meant to have...flavour???”

Help him

Saeyoung is pretty social, but also needs time to recharge like you, though he can go a bit longer than you and doesn’t easily get drained by social interactions. This may seem like a problem when you spend time with friends, but it’s actually such a blessing. If you’re feeling exhausted when socialising, he knows and will “take the wheel” if you will. There’s nothing worse than trying to keep a conversation going or seeming upbeat when you literally don’t have the energy, so Saeyoung is there to help you out. He’s also super good at politely and subtly taking you out of those situations if you are super drained and need to recharge.

He’s also such a gossip so if you got tea to spill he’s ready to hear it, and you know he ALWAYS has tea to spill. Sneaky man

“i like conspiracies, reading, writing (Fanfics and im busy with my Masters in nutrition >“<), rom coms, and  sleeping. As much as i love spending time outdoor i also enjoy lazing around the house being a lazy potato.”

Discussions about conspiracies over dinner lol. He is in possession of some...top secret information, so those conversations are very interesting and eye opening ;)

He LOVES to read your writing. It literally doesn’t matter what it’s about, he finds it truly fascinating. It’s a little glimpse into who you are, and it’s something you created!!! By yourself!!!! HE LOVES THAT. Always impressed with what you write, every time. He’s so proud.

ROM COMS WHILST CUDDLING ON THE COUCH

He’s a cryer, he loves rom coms.

He works super hard, so he’s always down to have a lazy day with you!!

“I definitely zone out and daydream all the freaken time and tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈 i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club). I am a picky eater despite my degree in cooking (i basically only eat candy, carbs and protein)”

He. loves. Making. You. blush. I’m sorry, but it’s one of his favourite things. He thinks it’s so adorable, so prepare for all the teasing, lewd jokes and general flirtiness that’ll get your cheeks burning ;)

He’s not keen on crowds either, so that’s not a problem!! I imagine he occasionally goes on night’s out with the bois (and by bois I mean usually just Zen and Yoosung LOL) but he’s not often out until super late, and he’s super respectful of you. Would never ask you to do something or go somewhere that makes you uncomfortable.

“i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure.   I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).”

CUDDLE MONSTER. I actually think he’s the biggest cuddler in the RFA. Controversial I know, but damn Saeyoung loves a cuddle. He’s a spontaneous cuddler. Like it doesn’t matter what the situation is, if you need a cuddle or he just fancies one, he’ll find a way.

He sees right through your calmness and confidence, because he’s exactly the same. This puts him in the perfect position to reassure you and lift you up. He’s a great hype man!

He finds your awkwardness adorable, and your sarcastic comments just make him love you even more! He has a good sense of humour and doesn’t take things too seriously if they don’t need to be, so he’s constantly laughing with you and easing your mind in the very early stages of your relationship.

“I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, like no matter how badly you hurt me.”

Based on what happens on his route, it’s very handy that you are a forgiving person hahah

But again, if Saeyoung thinks you are being treated wrongly and being hurt, he will stand up for you.

His dedication to protecting the ones he loves is STRONG. I mean, look at his relationship with Saeran and the way he is constantly looking out for you in ALL routes.

Of course, he won’t say or do anything to that person if that makes you uncomfortable. Instead, he will constantly reassure you of your self-worth and remind you that you deserve better, but will also support the decisions you make.

If you want to forgive and forget, he will respect that, even if he thinks differently.

“What am i looking for in a potential partner?.... well i definitely think i need someone that could bring me out my shell initially, also someone who isn't too sensitive cause like i said i can be super sarcastic and my jokes kinda match that (like in my family we show out affection for each other via playful insults and savage comments)😂😂”

As I stated above, I think Saeyoung is the best person to help bring you out of your shell. There’s no judgment and no shame with this man.

I find that someone being unapologetically themself is SO contagious, and Saeyoung is exactly that - unapologetically himself.

We’ve all seen his humour, he doesn’t seem to be particularly sensitive either so you’re all good there hahaha. Obviously everyone does have their limits, so whilst their are topics/jokes that would probably make him uncomfortable (e.g. stuff relating to Saeran), overall, he’s chill and ALWAYS ready to joke around with you.

The roast battle is so real with you two LOL

“i kinda want someone stable, hard working, decisive, ambitious and who can push me out of my confort zone and vice versa.🦋”

He goofs around, but there’s no denying that this man works HARD.

Once he leaves the agency and starts his new life with you, I can imagine him being super ambitious and also aiming for stability.

His life before had been so restrictive yet so uncertain. He had to do what he was told, but never knew what was just around the corner.

This makes me think that he would crave the stability and certainty that he never had (a ‘normal’ life, if you will), but also he’d want to try so many things that he hadn’t before. He strikes me as a ‘go big or go home’ kinda guy, so I think it’s safe to say that he would be ambitious in many ways.

The only thing I don’t think he ticks the box on is decisiveness, at least not at the beginning. I think he usually knows what he wants, but rarely acts on that.

“It’s up to you”, “whatever you want” and “I don’t mind” are very common phrases for him lol. I think he would learn to be more decisive once he gets comfortable. I also think he has his moments of assertiveness though, when he’s in the right mood.

“Also someone who is family oriented and loving (someone that can cuddle me when im having a bad day)☺ and someone who can make me laugh, cause i love joking around so i kinda think i need someone who could match that🌻”

SAEYOUNG. IS. SUCH. A. FAMILY. MAN.

Again, look at what he’s done for Saeran and how deeply he cares for and loves him. A ‘normal’ family was something that was absent in his life, so when he has his own family (whether that be a found family or one he made) he would cherish that so strongly, maybe more than most.

SAEYOUNG. IS. A. CUDDLE. MONSTER.

He could be working at his desk and suddenly think “you know what? It’s snuggle time” and then he would search the house for you to give you The Snuggle™

Again, he’s also VERY observant and his attention to detail is impeccable, so he can instantly tell if you’re having a bad day and will act accordingly - aka SNUGGLE TIME

I mean, need I say more? If you want someone who makes you laugh, Saeyoung is the guy. There is never a dull day when he’s around, and the house is always filled with laughter!

So yeah....that’s my reasoning :’)) now onto your very own drabble!! This is all yours, so if there’s anything you’d like me to change or add, PLEASE let me know!! I’m more than happy to edit anything to make it more personalised for you, just shoot me a message and I’ll be on it, same goes for anything I’ve said above!!🥰

~

Drabble!

“Saeyoung! Can you come here a second?”

You called out to him from the kitchen, stirring from a pot whilst its contents quietly bubbled away. You could hear the music blaring from his headphones all the way from the other room, with the occasional hum or drum on his desk. Evidently, he hadn’t heard you.

“SAEYOUNG CHOI GET YOUR FINE ASS IN HERE.”

The music ceased, followed by rapid pattering as he darted into the room, nearly skidding round the doorway. 

“I heard ‘fine ass’ and here I am,” he smirked, sauntering over to you and snaking his strong, secure arms around your middle. He swayed you from side to side, planting a wet kiss on your cheek, much to your dismay. Saeyoung merely chuckled, resting his chin on your shoulder, “What do you need, witch lady?”

“Why ‘witch lady’?”

“Well, whatever you’re cooking is giving me witchy vibes. It looks like a potion in a cauldron. Look at you with your double double toil and trouble-OW! Don’t pinch me!”

“Sorry, it’s a witch thing,” you winked, spinning around in his grip so you were face-to-face. “You sure you’re not the witch? You do have the nose for it.”

“I’ve also got the dress and hat in the attic, shall I go put it on?”

“Try this for me first.” You held the wooden spoon out to him as he took a sip, chuckling at the way his brows furrowed in thought.

He smacked his lips a few times, hummed then finally looked back to you, “It’s good.”

“That’s it? That’s all you got?”

“You do realise that my taste buds have essentially been burned off by chips and soda, right? I have no idea if something’s bad or not.”

“You’re right. I should call Jumin.”

“You can’t,” he informed, his smirk growing ever wider as he moved towards the snack cupboard, “Mr Han has a date tonight.”

The spoon clattered against the counter, your mouth agape, “You’re shitting me.”

“That’s another coin in the swear jar.” Saeyoung chucked a packet of candy in your direction, though it only hit you in the face before falling unceremoniously onto the kitchen floor, “I think we need to get your reflexes checked, babe.”

“Tell me everything.”

He took a seat on a breakfast stool and chortled as you leaned over the counter, eyes showing your eagerness to hear the gossip. And he was more than happy to provide, “He appears to be really into her. Like, really into her. She seems to just get him, you know? I could hear his smile down the phone when he told me about her earlier.”

“Earlier? Why are you only just telling me this now?!”

“Do you wanna hear the rest of it or not?”

Huffing, you perched on the seat next to him, stealing a piece of his candy despite his look of horror, “Okay, well where did he meet such a woman?”

“You’re never gonna believe it.”

“Try me.”

Saeyoung was enjoying himself far too much. He couldn’t wait another moment to witness your reaction, “She’s Zen’s co-star.”

“NO.”

“YES.”

The tea had been spilt, and things were about to get very interesting within the RFA.

Your eyes were glued to his as he continued to disclose the details. At some point you had wrapped your arm around his, his other hand encompassing yours. He abruptly stopped halfway through describing the first encounter, causing you to quirk an eyebrow impatiently, “What?”

“Do you smell burning?”

“...Fuck.”

“And another one for the swear jar.”

~

@nad-zeta​ there we go my love, I hope you enjoyed your matchup!! I am so grateful for your support, it never fails to make me smile when I see you pop up in my notifs. You are beautiful, kind, bright person and you deserve the world. Thank you again for all you’ve done and all you do💛💛 Take care of yourself, my friend! xxx

(Note for other readers: I usually don’t do matchups, this was for a special occasion! I doubt I’ll open up requests for them later on, but never say never!)

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {14}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Angst

Word Count: 3.9K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. 3 years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

**Partially Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️  ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 14: Finding Vixen

 -Vixen-

   “Wow, things are moving quickly.”

   You spun around the construction site the crew was making progress with the space that would be your restaurant. You couldn’t believe in a matter of weeks what was happening.

   “Things move quickly when everything aligns,” Zack responded from behind you. You looked to him and smiled, but as you stared at him, you only saw one face looking back at you. The smile slipped from your lips, and you gulped down the emotion threatening to spill out. Turning your back, you tried your best to pull yourself together.

    “You okay Vixen?”

   Clearing your throat, you nodded as you took a few steps away to what would or could be the spot for the outdoor eating spot. You bit your bottom lip, while a swell of pride and accomplishment fulled you, sadness and a feeling of being overwhelmed flooded you as well. It had been four days since you’d seen Chris, four days since your entire world had come crashing down, four days since the feelings you thought were long gone surfaced again, four days since the encounter you’d always dreaded and planned would go smoothly went the opposite. Sighing you took a deep breath and turned to face Zack, Kassius and the small team that was assembled for your expansion.

 “Are you happy with this so far? Any suggestions?”

   Glancing around you took in the demolition that looked just to have begun. You shook your head.

   “No, this looks to be the beginning nothing much to make suggestions on. I’d like to look at it again once it’s cleared out, just want to make sure everything transitions right.”

   “Absolutely. I’ve seen Giovanni’s in San Fran; I can imagine how particular you are about the visual of your restaurant. As long as we’re on schedule, things should be clear in another day or two,” Timothy one of the members of the team said.

   You nodded and made your way to the front door as everyone else followed. When you stepped out into the LA sun, you placed your sunglasses on your nose. Zack approached beside you and put his hand on the small of your back.

   “Are you sure you’re okay?”

   “Yes, I’m fine. I just haven’t gotten a lot of sleep the last few days, and it’s always a hassle moving in.”

   Zack nodded and slowly rubbed your back. You tried not to shy away from his touch.

   “I can treat you to a relaxing night, dinner, a drink, maybe a massage.”

   He smiled softly, and you felt the genuineness of his offer, but you knew it wasn’t something you were going to pass on. You smiled, hoping to soften the blow.

  “You’re so sweet Zack, I appreciate it, I really do, but since the move, Ella hasn’t gotten back to her regular sleeping schedule I need to focus on her right now. I’m sorry.”

  He looked as if he were trying to swallow the rejection. You hoped he wouldn’t make it a big thing. In all truth, while you liked his company, you really didn’t want to date. You didn’t feel much of anything for anyone, except him. Zack nodded, looked down, and nodded some more.

   “I understand. You’re a mom first. It’s admirable. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not disappointed, but I understand. Just uh—I want you to know that I like you Vixen, I didn’t expect it, but there it is. I would like to get to know you better really try to build something with you.”

   “Uuugh, jeez Vix. What do you say to that?”

   After you looked around you taking notice of how close the others were you decided now wasn’t the right place to let him down. You also didn’t want to lead him on.

   “All right Vixen, so we’re going to schedule another walk through once all demo is done, and we’ll make some decisions. I have a few mocks for you to look over and hopefully by then we’ll have some ideas,” Kassius said.

   “Yes, I’ll look over these.”

   You took the folder that looked thicker than a George A. Romano novel and bugged your eyes out.

  “Good lord.”

   “Yes, a lot of decisions to be made, this is the fun part,” he finished with a broad smile on his face.

   “I’ll see you then. Are you coming, Zack? We’re still on for golf?”

   Zack looked at you and nodded once he realized you weren’t going to respond to his declaration. You were glad your shades were darker than the midnight sky because your eyes weren’t hiding anything.

   “Yeah. I’ll call you,” Zack said before he walked to Kassius and the two walked off to Kassius’ bright red sports car. You nodded your head to the rest of the team and made your way to your rental car.

   You looked into the mirror and shook your head before you started your engine to begin on your to-do list. At the top was picking up some more groceries, then some office supplies and then to pick up some stuff for Ella. You hated the grocery places around the house; they were overpriced for no reason, and the produce never looked fresh. That meant you were going to drive over five miles to get to the supermarket Zack told you about—Gleason’s.

   As you drove your mind drifted back to seeing Chris. The last time you’d seen him, you’d told him to have a nice life. You were pissed and hurt, and it seemed like a good enough thing to say. Shit, you didn’t even know why you were pissed, you brought it on yourself. You were stupid enough to think that there was anything possible between the two of you.

   You should have known better. The way he carried himself, the way he spoke, and dressed it screamed bachelor, screamed down for a good time and nothing more. Every alarm rang off in your head about him the minute you saw him at the table. Everything in you screamed “don’t,” but the other voice in you said, “just do it, it’s Vegas.” Yeah well, “it’s Vegas” turned into a kid and haunting memories. That didn’t change the fact that he was still gorgeous and his shoulders were bigger than ever.

   “Of course he had to be gorgeous. Of course he couldn’t turn ugly or have gained thirty pounds of fat. No, he got sexy as fuck and gained thirty pounds of muscle.”

   You groaned loudly and focused again on the GPS that predicted you’d reach your destination in five minutes. Once you parked in the lot, you roamed the aisles pushing the cart before you.

  “Black tea, herbal tea, coffee, check.” You dropped the items in the cart and went perusing down the next.

   “Rice Krispies, honey bunches of oats, oatmeal, flour, food coloring, sugar, yeast, check.”

   You turned down the refrigerator aisle to scan for eggs, milk, butter, cheese, yogurt, orange juice, coffee creamer, jello, cream cheese, and that disgusting iced coffee drink Nexus loved. With your list about half done you allowed yourself to get distracted in the produce section where they held fresh flowers. You loved fresh flowers. There were pink, red, blue, yellow and even white flowers of all varieties. You decided on two beautiful assortments of pink and yellow roses and a separate one of pink orchids, you loved orchids. Tipping your head down to take a whiff of the fragrant flowers you looked over to the other side of the section and saw the actor Nexus was losing her mind over—Anthony Mackie. Quickly putting the flowers in your cart you made a u-turn to get back on track, you definitely didn’t want a run in.

   Just as you thought you were safe in the bread aisle holding two selections of bread, one you liked and one Ella couldn’t get enough of you you saw him. Your legs thought you had time to make another getaway, but your brain knew better, he saw you too. Anthony approached you with a friendly smile on his face as he tipped his hat lower. You knew it was pointless, but you still turned and rolled out the aisle. As soon as you made it to the soda and water aisle, he was at your side.

   “Vixen right?”

   Sighing, you nodded. “That’s right.”

   “I’m going to say you didn’t see me, that’s why you walked away; otherwise, that was rude.”

   You snorted and shook your head. He had to be kidding.

   “I was trying to protect your incognito look. I’m thinking if these people knew they were walking next to The Falcon himself they’d draw a scene and there goes your disguise. By the way, that’s a horrible disguise.”

   Anthony chuckled and nodded his head.

   “Of course you’re as snarky as your sister. Speaking of, how is she? Is she here?”

   You looked at Anthony as he quickly looked up and down the aisle as if looking for her. Scoffing again you responded, “No, she’s not here. Why does it matter?”.

   “Just curious.”

   “Bullshit!”

   You laughed out loud and pushed the cart further and placed other items in your cart. “I can see right through you. Looks like another one bites the dust.”

   “Another one bites the dust? What does that mean?”

   “It means you’ve been hit with the Nexus haze. Almost every man that speaks to her for any amount of time falls under her spell. You Mr big-time movie star are no different.”

   Anthony smiled and shrugged, but he didn’t look as smug as he usually did, no this time he looked as if he felt threatened as if he were worried. He should be Nexus wasn’t half a woman like these barbie doll actresses and models she was one hundred percent that bitch and she was a force to be reckoned with. The two of you walked in silence for a few feet.

   “So, I learned a fun fact recently. You’d never believe it,” Anthony began.

   “Oh yeah, what fun fact is that?”

   “Three years ago, a woman went to Vegas for some fun and ended marrying Captain America himself.” Your brain failed to communicate with your legs, and you just stopped in the middle of the aisle.

   “He told him. Shit!”

   “But you believe it, because—,” Anthony leaned into your ear and whispered. “You are that woman.”

   You looked to him, unsure what to say. You could deny, deny, deny, but you were sure Chris was the one to tell him. You sighed again.

   “Don’t worry, he’s my best friend, your secret is safe with me.” You walked again and turned down another aisle.

   “Was it shock that had you running like a bat outta hell, or was it something else? Do you hate him?”

   “I hate no one; there is no time for all of that. I have too many things to accomplish.”

  “Okay, a mature one. He lucked out,” Anthony joked. The humor of it was lost on you. You didn’t bother laughing or smiling about it either.

   “It was good seeing you again, take care,” you rushed out as you walked to the cash-out. You didn’t know if you’d gotten everything, but you needed to get out of there. It was insane; every second you spent around him, you felt it was only a matter of time before he saw the truth through your eyes, or seeping from your pores.

   You unloaded the groceries on the belt then saw Anthony help. Rolling your eyes, you stayed quiet.

   “How do you feel about seeing him again after so long?”

   Groaning you turned to him your frustrations seeped out. “What’s it to you? What’s with all the questions? We did what we did, but we also went through with the divorce, it’s all water under the bridge now. No need to keep talking about it.”

   Anthony studied you as you continued to unload the groceries so the cashier could do her job. You were usually good at keeping your emotions in check, but everything was becoming a lot more difficult. You hated it.

   “Whew, that sounds like a lot of hurt and anger, years worth of it. Maybe not so much water under the bridge, huh.” Antony’s eyes bored into you, and you narrowed yours. Anthony nodded again and stepped back.

   “Take care of yourself Vixen. Oh, and could you give your sister a message for me? Tell her I didn’t mean to hurt her, I didn’t plan on it. I was telling her the truth.”

   As quickly as he appeared, he disappeared, allowing you to focus again. You moved as quickly as you could to wrap up the rest of your errands. By the time you made it home, the sun was down, and you had a car full of shit. After thirty minutes of unloading and unpacking, you dropped onto the couch to catch your breath. Ella ran to you, you quickly scooped her up and dropped kiss after kiss across her face. She released an uproar of giggles that made your heart swell.

   “Top, top, top!”

   “No, no, no, take all mommy’s kisses, take them all!”

   Her laughter filled the entire room, and soon, Nexus was beside you holding Ella down as she tickled her small ribs. This only made her wiggle and scream even more. The two of you slowly stopped, and Ella settled down comfortably in your arms, holding tightly to you.

  “Long day?”

   You looked to Nexus and nodded.

   “That’s a big book.”

   “It is, and I have a few more days to look through and find my aesthetic for the next round of meetings. Things are moving fast. Maybe we can be in and out of LA sooner than I thought.”

   Nex gave you a look that said: “be real, aren’t you forgetting something.” You ignored it and flipped through the design pages.

   “Vixen.”

   “What do you think of this one? It’s airy and modern but still has a traditional vibe.”

   Flipping to another page, you have the book your full attention. Seeing another contender, you showed your sister.

   “Ooh, this looks very modern like a real celebrity restaurant. Doesn’t say much to traditional comfort but what the hell step into the times, right.”

   “Vixen!”

   “What!?”

   “You know what,” Nexus exasperated. You shrugged and continued to flip the pages determined not to address what Nex clearly wanted you to.

   “Vixen, you know damn well you can’t leave LA without telling Chris about Ella.” You groaned and rolled your eyes.

   You knew you shouldn’t have told her shit. Now it would be even harder to ignore the shoulds. When you didn’t answer after a few minutes, she took the heavy binder off your lap and placed it on the side table nearest her. Groaning you stood and walked back in the kitchen to busy yourself, hoping it would distract you. You took out the meat for the meatballs you planned on making to accompany the spaghetti—Ella’s favorite. Refusing to take the hint, Nex walked in and crossed her arms before the island. You knew ignoring her would only work for so long, but you were going to milk it for every second you could.

   You took out the flour and the other ingredients to make your signature pasta. Once you opened the fridge to grab some tomatoes and herbs for your sauce and closed the door, you came face to face with Nexus’ annoyed face. You snorted unable to hide your amusement.

   “This isn’t funny Vix. It’s serious and a huge thing. It’s not just your life; you’re impacting. There are two other people, one small who cannot make a decision and the other who--,”

   “Who what Nex? You don’t know him. You don’t know what he’s really like,” you blurted out slamming the cutlery drawer a tad harder than you intended.

    “What the hell does that mean?”

   Again you ignored her and began washing your produce, focusing on getting every invisible speck of dirt. You’d told her the cliff notes version, beginning, middle, then end. You didn’t tell her the in between. You didn’t want to relive it out loud, you were fine keeping it a trip you took every night before you went to sleep. Once the produce was washed, you got to work chopping and dicing. You knew you were stressed because the knife was moving faster than ever and you knew she saw it too.

   “I’m waiting. What does that mean? What is he really like?”

   Kissing your teeth, you shook your head, “Forget it, Nex; it’s not important.”

   “Clearly it is. There has to be a reason why you never told him about her, a reason you never claimed the child support that was rightfully yours. You know you could have used it while you were pregnant and the parts of the first year. Why? Did he hurt you? does he hit women?”

   Nex shifted her stance, and you knew she was ready to pop off. She’d always been your keeper, your protector. You remembered a few girls she’d seriously beat down because they looked at you wrong across the playground. You sighed out, taking a pause with the chopping to give her a reassuring look.

   “No, he didn’t hit me.” You saw her shoulders relax and her expression softening; then you returned to the task at hand.

   “So he didn’t hit you. He did hurt you though.”

   Nexus was no idiot. She knew how to hear what you said and decipher what you didn’t. You did your best to give no reaction as you moved around the kitchen.

   “Okay, I get it. You didn’t tell him to spite him.”

   “No!”

   Though you adamantly rebuked that, part of you felt a way and you wondered if any part of you felt that way.

   “Okay. So he hurt you, you ran back home with your tail tucked, and you hid away for the next near three years. What did he do?”

   “Nex, please. It’s not important. Let’s drop it.”

   “I’m trying to help. You seem to be ignoring or purposely forgetting that you have to tell him. I owe him nothing, and I don’t know him from Adam and my loyalties don’t lie with him that’s with you--,”

   “So drop it. Have my back, be my pitbull!”

   “Vix, don’t ever get it twisted and think I’m not riding for you one hundred. It’s always been you and me against the world, and it’s still that way. Just—this goes past that. This is a morally right and wrong issue. How would you feel not knowing you had a mini replica of you running around the world?”

   “Fine, because I wouldn’t know.” Nexus walked around the island to you and put her arm around you. She could sense your breakdown was imminent. She gently rubbed your bare arm and let the silence fill the room. You closed your eyes, hoping to stop your warring thoughts. Of course part of you knew what she was saying was sound and right, but the other side refused to hear it.

   “You’re afraid,” Nexus worded.

   There it was plain as day, no hidden pretenses, no shade, no covers, just blatant truth. You were afraid. You were shitfaced scared.

   “It’s okay to be scared. There is nothing wrong with it. Hell if you weren’t scared I’d be worried because that would show that you really have no intention of doing the right thing. I know you, Vix, do the right thing is your middle name. Somewhere inside you know you have to tell him, want to or not, have to and should outweigh it this time.”

   “This is why I didn’t want to go to that stupid expo or come to this dumb place. It has a way of stealing and crushing dreams,” you groaned out.

   “Or realigning them and showing you a new, different, better dream.”

   You glanced at Nexus, took a deep breath, and released it. She was right — bottom line.

   “Fuck!”

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Chris-

  415-653-7575.

   It wasn’t hard to get. All he had to do was google her and her location. He had all her information from three years ago. He had her full name, city, state, P.O Box information. In truth, he had everything he needed, and if he needed more, he could easily get more, it was a perk of being him. In all the years he didn’t use it, didn’t search, didn’t allow his curiosity to take over. Today he did.

   It took him less than a minute to find her on Google, her name was uncommon, there was literally one Vixen Giovanni in San Francisco. It took him another minute to find her restaurant. Her restaurant. He was impressed. She said she wanted to open a restaurant and be a chef and she’d accomplished it, and she was successful. He spent nearly twenty minutes just looking through food reviews, articles, and pictures all of her and everything he remembered thinking and feeling those years ago came back.

   He suspected it would be like this—feared it really which made him avoid doing this very thing for so long. He was afraid he was right, and he was. It took him the next hour to get the balls to call the number for her restaurant. An hour where he went over and over what he would say. He didn’t know where you were; it had been nearly a week since he saw you, you could have gone back to San Francisco.

   He went over and over what he would say if you answered. He didn’t know if he should go with a calm and cool introduction; “Hey Vixen, remember me your ex-husband,” or an apologetic one; “I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from but—.” It was impossible to read you from the quick exchange days ago. You hadn’t spoken, you didn’t look angry, or happy or anything, your expression was blank, and then you were gone. He didn’t know what to expect.

   When hour two was near, he bit the bullet and dialed your restaurant. The hostess transferred him to the manager who informed him you were out of town. Due to his quick thinking, he pretended to be interested in a potential business opportunity, it was then the manager gave him your cell phone number. He was surprised it was that easy. Now that was where he was, staring at your number with a bottle of beer on his right side, whiskey on the other and a joint in his hand. He leaned back and took several long puffs before holding them for a breath allowing the drug to haze away all his thoughts. Once he blew out the smoke, he took a long swig of his beer.

   “Jesus Chris, it’s not hard, just dial the number. One step at a time.”

   He took up his phone and punched in the numbers and hovered his finger over the green button, thinking about his actions one last time. Taking another long pull from his joint, he tapped the button and put it on speaker. It rang once, twice, three times and before he tapped the red button to end the call, a voice called out through the line.

   “Hello?”

   His brain froze, and speech did with it, so he sat there completely flustered.

   “Hello? Anyone there?”

   Still, he didn’t speak. Only when the line went dead did he move, he dropped back against the couch and groaned loudly into the night sky.

   “Come on, man!”

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****If the spacing is all messed up I apologize. I copy and past from Word and try to anticipate Tumblr messing up the spacing and fix it but once I push post everything always jumbled out. Sorry guys.

[mcatra]

Oh my god they were lab partners pt. 2/2

part one

A03 LINK

Highschool AU fic of Hordak and Entrapta becoming lab partners. Hordak may have accidentally fallen in love with her somewhere along the way. 

Hordak's never liked anyone before in his entire life. Not even as friends. So whatever this was? Completely out of his depth. 

There was no stopping it- these feelings. It was insane how much her name plagued his thoughts in random places at all times of the day. These symptoms formed in unexpected ways, like how he had thought he was having a heart attack, when really all that happened was that Entrapta smiled at him. Or how his face would heat up and his hands would involuntarily go clammy when she would drag him by the hand to go somewhere. 

Hordak had even learnt how to braid. He had gotten pretty good at it too, if the complicated french braids and buns Entrapta was sporting before lab now was of any indication.

It didn't matter though, since she obviously didn't feel the same. She's had dozens of friends before, and he was just one of them. But Entrapta was his first friend- but he's already screwed that up. It's taken him this long to find someone that he can actually tolerate the presence of, and it seemed fate was determined to take that away as well. 

So he crushes the feelings deep inside, though they threaten to spill out every few minutes when he's with her. He's fine with being friends, really. 

The school holidays was starting, which would give him plenty of time to get over his feelings. 

This plan is immediately compromised when Entrapta insists on texting him several times a day. 

Entrapta:

yakult is the perfect size of drink but it's not fizzy!! (〒﹏〒)

Hordak: 

Perhaps you should try packaging your drinks in smaller sized Yakult bottles. 

Entrapta: 

:00 yea ur right!! I'll ask my butler to do that be righttt baackkk 

Hordak: 

A butler? 

Entrapta: 

yep my parents r always busy working!! Soda pop makes the best lunches ヾ(´ ▽ ` ) 

[image.attachment] 

It's a photo of what seems to be her lunch, bite sized cookies, scones, and of course pink fizzy lemonade in a tiny bottle. 

Looking at it, he thinks it's only customary to send a photo of his own lunch.  

Hordak: [image.attachment] 

Entrapta: ???????‽‽ Σ(°△°|||)︴ 

Entrapta: NOO9OOOOOO what is THAT ??!!!  

He's confused by her response. It was all that Prime stacked their food cupboards with, he didn't see anything wrong about his grey ration bars. It wasn't even the brown kind today. 

Hordak: That is my lunch. 

Entrapta: (ಥ﹏ಥ) I'm so sorry hordak… 

pleaseeee let me come over and deliver U some of my food!!! 

He wishes she would, but he can't afford letting Prime see her. There's a reason why he's dodged every request from her to come over. 

Hordak: Thank you for your consideration, but that won't be necessary. It gives me enough nutrition for the day. 

Entrapta: FINEE but when we get back I'm giving you all the food U can eat!!! I'll even make them big!! Just for you!! 

Hordak: I look forward to it. 

Entrapta: (≧▽≦) ♥️  

Did...Did she just send a heart? What did that mean?

He stares at the screen in disbelief. Every time he thinks he's doing well she sends his mind into overdrive. 

Scratch that, what was he supposed to send back? 

He falters on a response, anxiously trying to decide one before she got suspicious and asked him why he was taking so long. A solid 5 minutes later, he finally settles on one. 

Hordak:  :]

---

...

[Incoming video call from Entrapta]

He bolts upright in bed, hair in disarray. 

The clock reads 1am. What was she doing calling at this hour? He scrambles to lower the volume, unlocking it in the process, and when he does Entrapta's face fills the screen. 

She's in her pajamas, her hair tied up haphazardly into a messy bun on the top of her head. It seemed like she had attempted to recreate the neatly tucked bun that Hordak always did for her, but couldn't quite figure it out. 

'Hordak! I've just made the most fascinating discovery- oh sorry, were you sleeping?' 

'Ah, no. I wasn't.' He fibs, not wanting her to hang up. He didn't want to admit it, but he missed seeing her face. 'Do go on.' 

She digs through a stack of letters, and brings it up triumphantly to the screen. 

'I've found some scholarship offers buried in my junk mail!' She chirps through the pixelated video feed.

'Got one from California Institute of Technology, Harvard and MIT! They loved my research papers and scientific breakthroughs!' 

He blinks in shock. That was huge. 

'Congratulations!' He bursts out- those are incredible opportunities. ‘Which one will you be attending?' 

'Oh, that's why I called! I needed help deciding. So I was wondering…' She looked oddly nervous, tapping two fingers together. 'Which university would you be going to?' 

Hordak hadn't even applied to any university, let alone receiving offers from Ivy League schools. It had been decided since he was a kid that he would be working for Prime's company right after graduation. He hadn't considered any other alternative before. 

'I…have not applied to any yet.' 

'What?!’ She cries out, appalled. ‘You should definitely apply! You have more knowledge of cosmic forms than I do, Hordak. Plus your grades have improved exponentially this year- I even made a graph!' 

Before he can ask why on earth she had made a graph of his grades she brings out a spreadsheet of his progress. 

'According to the numbers you can definitely apply to any of the surrounding schools in the area! Oh but how fun would it be if we could go to the same university?!' 

'I can't possibly afford the tuition-' 

'Bank loans, and you can work part time! You could even apply for financial assistance. Please come.' 

Hordak hesitates, looking at the door behind him. Imp was stirring in the room next door. He lowers his voice. 

'I.. I...'

He starts and aborts a few sentences. He clenches his scarred arm unconsciously. Of course he wants to. But he had responsibilities that weighed heavily on his shoulders, and circumstances that a carefree sheltered girl couldn't even comprehend. No amount of optimism or daydreaming could fix his grim reality. 

 'I can't.' Is all he manages to say.

She looks slightly taken aback, and he can see her trying not to look disappointed.  

'..That's okay. I understand.'

A horrible sense of guilt spreads in his stomach. Entrapta changes the topic and they don't bring up the subject again.

---

Entrapta has always had trouble making friends. People usually ignored her when she talked about her interests, or were telling her what she did wrong. Usually it was a missed social cue, or she had used words that were too technical for them to understand. 

Hordak was different though. He always listened, understood her technical jargon and offered his own knowledge that sometimes even outweighed her own. She had been curious about this elusive person that everyone was afraid of since she had met him behind the bathroom block. He didn’t seem like the vicious animal that the rumours made him out to be. So on a whim, she had volunteered to be his lab partner.

At first she was just ecstatic to find someone who liked the same things she did, but soon it was more than just the shared love for science. Entrapta had thought for years that the only way she could make friends was allowing them to copy and take her work, but Hordak had showed her otherwise. A shared solidarity for two outcasts. 

Even though he showed a tough angry exterior to everyone, with her Hordak was surprisingly kind. 

He always did little things for her without prompting. Once she had forgotten to bring her jacket when it was cold and he had wordlessly handed his over for her to wear. Or how he noticed when she hadn't slept that night and bought her an iced coffee from the vending machine. He had even poured it into the lid in an effort to make it the way she liked it. 

She began to notice things about him as well, like how he got embarrassed easily, or how despite his old demeanor he could be surprisingly childish. His reactions became even more fascinating than her experiments. Entrapta catalogued them in her mind, keeping track of the emotions he would show. He was always so stoic, the primary emotion being anger or quiet indifference. A few smiles here and there, scattered in between. 

However when Hordak laughed for the first time ever, she was caught completely off guard. 

When his eyes crinkled into little slits, and his laughter exposed his canines, her brain was shaken only leaving one thought. 

Beautiful.

Entrapta had found something more valuable than any discovery she's made in her career as a self made scientist.  She wanted to discover more about him, however he never talked about himself, which both enthralled and frustrated her to no end. But graduation was coming soon, and the last thing she wanted was for Hordak to not talk to her anymore like Adora and the others.

She had tried to put off the deadline, ignoring the growing stack of offer letters that could whisk her away to anywhere in the world.

Come with me. 

I can't. 

 Why? Had she misread them this whole time? Did he not want to be with her too? But she was wrong with Adora and her friends, and Catra. 

Someone told her once how people cannot be quantified, calculated, predicted. Feelings can be there one day and gone the next. She is no stranger to failure. But it doesn't mean she isn't afraid. 

-----

School resumes again for their final term, and Hordak is inwardly thrilled to see his friend in person again. Entrapta waves at him from the school gate, before diving headfirst into all the things that happened over the holidays she couldn’t show over text. 

They agree to be lab partners again without hesitation, and fall back into their comfortable friendship. 

Soon it’s prom season, and the halls are decorated in banners, posters and flyers. People are pairing off left and right, chattering away about how to ask their dates out. 

Hordak never attends these sort of events, he always blatantly refuses to go. However during one of their study sessions in the library, Entrapta tries to convince him to come with her. 

‘It’s meaningless to go to such an event. Mingling or dancing is not a productive venture.' 

'But it could be fun! I’ve been wanting to conduct a social experiment and it’s the perfect place for it.' She protests. 'Also Prom is imperative to the high school experience.' 

He waves her away, unconvinced. It's not like he could afford the tickets anyway, and Prime would never let him go. 

'I refuse to squander my time on something so pointless. There will be no further discussion on this.' 

She pouts, turning back to her notebook. The sulky charade lasts for a record 10 minutes before she caves and starts running her mouth again. 

He's still adamantly against it, but that sentiment gets stopped in its tracks when he catches someone approaching Entrapta.

'Hey, Entrapta was it?' The tall blonde says languidly. ‘Can I speak to you for a moment, over there?’ 

'Oh, sure!' She says, getting up from her chair. 'Can I get you something?' 

'Certainly!' 

Hordak listens to the conversation happening behind the bookshelf. He doesn't like the look of them, all greasy smiles and cocky demeanor.  

'A date to the prom, please.' They smirk, their tall stature allowing them to lean over her. 

Hordaks jaw drops, and the feeling of jealousy flares in the pit of his stomach. He fights the urge to throw that cocky bastard across the room. But the knowledge that he has no right to be angry when he had already turned down her offer kept him rooted to the spot. 

Thankfully Entrapta doesn’t seem to get it. 

'Oh I'm not organising that.’ She says, tapping her chin. ‘I think Frosta and her prom committee are. Or you could ask our school captain Adora and her prefects, they’ll know who to talk to get tickets.'  

They look dumbfounded, but hastily amend their wording. 

'No, I meant- will you be my date. To the prom.' 

'Me?' 

At this point there are marks on the wooden bookshelf from Hordak’s nails. The other person looked almost cocky in their confidence, smirking while waiting for a response. 

Of course she’d accept, they were just friends after all, and she didn’t owe him anything. However Entrapta cuts through his spiralling thoughts.

‘Thank you. But I won’t be going.’ 

Hordak looks up in surprise, shocked at her response. So do they, as Entrapta swiftly passes them and lights up when she spots him behind the shelf. ‘Hordak, there you are!’ She chirps brightly. ‘Come on, I wanted to show you progress photos of my new upgrades with Emily.’ 

He feels awful as she leads them back to their desks, it seems like he was letting down Entrapta a lot these days. First with the university, and now this. However Hordak is determined to make it up to her, racking his brain for ideas until he remembers the bandaids she had given him years ago.

Cupcakes. Despite not having much he managed to scrounge enough coins to buy ingredients. 

Half of them end up charred to a crisp but he manages to salvage a few through enough scraping. With the help of Imp, he manages to frost and decorate them purple and blue to cover up the scorch marks. 

Hordak thrusts the cupcakes in her face before class, before realising that he hadn't prepared anything to say.

'I, uh, wanted to..here.' He stammers, dropping them into her palm. 'I made them. For you.'

She looks at the cupcakes, stunned. To his complete and utter horror, Entrapta's eyes start to water.

Oh no. Did he mess up? His mind goes into overdrive in panic, and he looks around frantically for a way to calm her down.

'Were they unsatisfactory? I will try again. Please allow me to dispose of those-' He reaches out to take them back but she pulls it away.

'I love them.’ 

She wipes her eyes with her sleeve, and she's beaming a crooked smile. 

He hesitates, unsure what to make of her reaction. 

‘E-Entrapta..I, um…’ He begins, remembering the person in the library. He fishes around in his pocket and pulls out two tickets. ‘Do you want to.. Go to the prom. With me. So you can study people, like you said.’

Entrapta gasps, a long and drawn out one that gets higher in pitch.

‘THANK YOU HORDAK!!’ She squeals, and she practically launches herself into his chest, nearly toppling them over. ‘Of COURSE I will!’ 

He smiles at this, glad that he had been the one to put that grin on her face. Anything was worth making her happy. 

-------

It’s a bad night again. He wants nothing more than to stay in bed but he forces himself to get up, if nothing else to get away from Prime. His older brother had found out about the money he had taken to buy the prom tickets and make the cupcakes. This resulted in having the life beaten out of him while Imp watched, cowering behind the door. He gets his phone taken from him, a clear warning not to talk to Entrapta again. 

It’s summer, but Hordak opts for a black turtleneck sweater under his uniform and a baggy jacket. He however can’t disguise the bruises on his face, as usually Prime would avoid making markings that would arouse suspicion.

He can hear his classmates whisper amongst themselves, saying that he’s gotten into a fight and beat the rival gangs in the area. Hordak growls at them menacingly, and they scatter. He watches them go, and for the first time in a long time goes to skip class.

It’s nice out, a cool breeze on the rooftop soothes his skin. He gingerly takes his uniform off, wincing as he peels off the slightly blood stained sleeve.

He should be used to it by now. But it doesn’t get any better.

‘You didn’t reply to my texts.’

Hordak nearly jumped out of his skin, whipping around to see Entrapta. She has a delicate frown on her face, and looks at him up and down.

'You shouldn’t be here.’ He says, turning away. 

She doesn't look convinced, and starts to walk towards him. ‘Hordak-’ 

‘I said, GET OUT!’ He shouts, furiously wrapping his uniform back around his shoulders. ‘The prom’s off. Leave.’ 

Entrapta disregards his outburst, striding forward to confront him. 'I can’t keep ignoring this, Hordak.’ She catches his wrist easily, looking at his wounds. 

'You come to school with these new burns, these bruises, and you never TELL me anything.’ She says, pained. 'People say you got them in fights, but I know you. What really happened?’

He stares at her, but she looks determined. Ever the scientist, always looking for answers to things she didn’t understand. 

'You really want to know?’ He growls, tearing his arm from her grip. ‘I am an orphan. My brother Prime got full custody since he’s the only one old enough to earn money to support us. I can’t leave, no matter how much he beats me. My younger brother, Imp. He’s only a toddler- if I go, what happens to him? I couldn’t possibly support the both of us.’ 

She looks shocked, but doesn’t say anything. 

‘He’s ordered me not to talk to you. So that’s what I’m going to do. Don’t make it any harder for me.’ He tries to sound angry, but it comes off more like pleading. 

‘No.’ She says simply. 

He looks at her, incredulous. ‘Did you not hear what I just said-’

‘No, I heard you.’ She replies, bringing out bandages from her backpack like the first time they had met. 

‘I’ve got an idea. I’m breaking you out of there.’ 

‘You’re what?’ 

----

Lab Partner: Are you ready??

Hordak: This is such a bad idea.

He’s had no idea how he ended up in this situation. As per instruction via Entrapta’s burner phone, he had packed a getaway bag with their documents for him and Imp, and was waiting for several of her tiny bots surveillancing the area to give the all clear. 

Entrapta had temporarily disabled the security cams in the entire neighbourhood, and was currently waiting in the getaway car. 

Hordak:  I can’t believe I’m turning on my brother. 

Lab Partner: Its okay, we can work on that crisis later!! 

Lab Partner: I've also got your disguise in the car :))) 💃💃

Prime was still out at work, and it should be a few more hours until he came back. Hordak leads Imp by the hand down the driveway and fastens him into the booster seat of the getaway car. 

'He is so cuute!' Entrapta coos, poking his baby brother’s cheek. ‘I’m Entrapta. We’re gonna make sure you’re safe, okay?’ 

Imp nods, somewhat confused. ‘Entrapta.’ He repeats, and she grins. 

They peel out of the driveway, and although Entrapta is a terrifying driver they make it safely to her house outside the city. 

When they arrive, he is rendered speechless. Was this a castle? A mansion? The guards out front nod at Entrapta and the security gates open, letting them through. 

At least he knows Prime couldn’t possibly follow him here, thanks to Entrapta’s parents security team. 

Imp has taken to the place, admiring the many robots she had engineered. Her butler offers him some tiny beverages as he waits for Entrapta to finish whatever she was doing upstairs.  

After a while she comes down the stairs and he can practically feel himself stop breathing. She’s gorgeous, dressed in a purple velvet suit, tied together with a vest and a bow tie. Her coattails swish as she walks towards Hordak, who had been stunned into silence. 

‘I...ah..’ He stutters. ‘What is this for?’ 

Imp kicks him in the shin.

‘Uh. Y-you look... exemplary. A magnificent choice of attire.’ 

‘It’s prom today! Did you forget?’ She grins, whisking him from his seat and plonking him in front of the mirror. ‘We bought the tickets, we may as well go!’

‘But Imp-’

 ‘-Will be safe. There’s no way he’ll find him here. We’ll be in and out, and be back before he’s even left work.’ 

Entrapta takes out a makeup brush and some black lipstick, and starts applying it onto his face. For some reason he lets her work, he’s never really been able to say no to her. She styles his hair so some falls across his face. ‘Now for the good part!’ She declares, and brings out a long black dress combined with an inner red cape, with slits on the sides. They’re accompanied by tall black heels and a black clutch. 

‘I-I don’t know.’ He says. He’s never worn anything that bold or attention grabbing before, usually choosing clothes that would hide his scarring. 

‘Just try it on!’ 

------

They arrive at the prom arm in arm, and people audibly gasp as they walk down the stairs into the hall. The crowd clears from their path as they make their way down the venue, their stares turning into ones of admiration. 

The person from the library shoots them an affronted look, much to Hordak’s satisfaction. Perhaps this wasn’t so bad after all.  

Entrapta starts grabbing random food off the tables for Hordak to try. As he eats she starts recording Hordak’s different reactions to each new food into her little recorder. 

‘It’s absolutely fascinating how social groups function in peculiar ways! For example,’ She commentates, pointing at her old group of friends. ‘Catra asked Scorpia out to make Adora jealous.’ 

He watches the brunette antagonize her ex friend, and Adora seemed to be taking the bait. Scorpia watches on, looking disgruntled. 

‘Seems like it is working.’ 

‘No mind, Glimmer’s only Adora’s date to make Bow jealous. But according to my observations, that seems to be less successful.’ 

He nods, seemed like there was a lot going on in Etheria he had never cared to notice before. 

Soon they are interrupted by loud commanding voice on the microphone. It’s Frosta, and she’s announcing the first dance. She looks impossibly small up there behind the podium, which happens when you skip a few grades. 

‘Let’s go dance!’

‘I don’t know how to-’

Entrapta drags Hordak onto the dance floor before he can object, joining the other couples paired around them. She puts a hand around his waist, and clasps the other in his. 

'Also, Hordak! I got you something.' She says, almost shyly, handing him a box. 'Instead of a corsage...'

He peers inside and in the box is a beautiful purple crystal, embedded onto a necklace. It has some sort of foreign script engraved into it. 

‘Wait, is this…’ 

‘Yep! It’s the crystals we grew together at the lab last term!’ She beamed excitedly. ‘Didn’t they grow so beautifully?’ 

He turns the crystal in his fingers in awe. It’s been months since the incident with the beaker. ‘What does it say?’ 

‘O-oh. Um….’ 

She turns slightly red, embarrassed. Hordak is fascinated, he’s never seen her look like that before. He presses again, curious. 

Entrapta mumbles something incoherent, blushing up to her hairline. Her grip tightens on the fabric of his dress as she buries her head into his chest. 

‘Loved.’ 

His eyes widen in shock. She finally looks up, eyes burning with sudden conviction. The rest of the prom seems to fade away into the background. 

‘I love you, Hordak.’ 

Now it was his turn to go completely red- she also looks mortified, so now they were just two embarrassed teens in the middle of the dance floor.  

‘I-I love you too!’ He bursts out, awkward and fumbling but finally honest. 

‘Really?!’ She says, her hair floofing in excitement, like she can’t believe it. ‘You really do?’ 

‘Of course-’ and before he can explain the months of agony of being unable to fight his feelings she mashes her face against his. 

His knees almost buckle out of pure shock, but can feel himself melt into the kiss, her lips are unimaginably soft. He can feel her smile against his own, and she breaks it, giggling. She goes to say something but he's the one to interrupt her this time, kissing her over and over again as she squeals. 

He chuckles at her response, he doesn’t think he’s ever felt this happy. 

--- 

It's been a year since, and they find a cozy apartment in between their universities. Entrapta’s studying engineering at MIT while being cross registered at Harvard.

Meanwhile Hordak studies space science at Columbia University, while working part time. 

Hordak had collected all of his and Imp’s legal documents, voice recordings and picture evidence of the abuse and emailed them to Entrapta’s lawyers. Since he turned 18 he was able to win the court case against Prime and take Imp in to be under his legal guardianship. Thankfully he also managed to get a restraining order after a few incidents since Prime was outraged at losing his servants. 

‘I’m home.’ He says, opening the door to find Entrapta chasing Emily around the apartment, his younger brother perched on top. She picks up Imp from her bot holding him in her arms.

'Welcome back!' She greets him with a kiss. 'Ready to start our new project?' 

Hordak smiles, he's been doing that a lot lately. All the suffering he'd been through was all worthwhile if it brought him to this happy little family. He thumbs his little LUVD necklace which he wears every day. 

'Always.'

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

in my heart both Dallas n Soda know how to play the guitar n I will stand on this until I die

[adamwatchesmovies]

Das Boot (1981)

It sounds like a niche category but there are a number of submarine film and Das Boot is the best. The film puts you right into the middle of a battlefield you know little about and have never experienced before, not like this.

During World War II, the German submarine U-96 and its crew of veterans and newcomers set out to patrol the North Atlantic waters, sinking Ally ships while attempting to survive the counterattacks.

What I found most striking about the film - besides its Nazi protagonists - is the claustrophobia felt during it. The U-96 has no windows and the crew largely toll away in these tiny spaces which feel completely separated from the rest of mankind. Their entire world has been stripped of color, of light, of space, and danger is all around them. It doesn't get much more frightening or intense than in the scenes when the crew has to stand perfectly still - as any sound they make is amplified by the water around them and will give away their position. Blindly, the destroyers above drop bombs. The radar operator tries to piece together where all of the rumblings outside are coming from. It's so tense and so genuine you become afraid to break the silence when you see the crew holding their breath.

Before Das Boot, important details of this film would've never dawned on me. When the voyage begins everyone is served fresh fruit, fresh bread and the cooks produce feasts. As time passes, the prime stuff is gone and they have to worry about mold growing on what’s left - the stuff they weren't too eager to have in the first place. Meanwhile, the crew is operating the sub non-stop. While one crew member sleeps in the bed, his “night time” replacement is working and when his shift is over, he takes his turn on the cot. These constant, monotonous shifts are only interrupted by life-threatening danger. The longer it lasts, the more everyone's sanity is put to the test.

We should talk about the film's perspective. We are talking about Nazis here, the bad guys of WWII. Das Boot presents them simply as people, men doing their job who are capable of compassion and who had normal lives before the war. When they see people dying - even on the battlefield - it shakes them. In the middle of battle, they're frightened. War is not glorified. If anything, it's presented as generally boring, very technical and then suddenly overwhelmingly terrifying. In a scene, the crew - tired, dirty, and exhausted - are hailed as heroes by an optimistic Axis officer who regales them with an empty speech about how glorious it must be to serve the Führer. After seeing what the crew has been through, you understand exactly how foolish it is to think there's any virtue in combat.

The cinematography greatly helps the experience. You're so entrenched in the visuals and the characters you'll find yourself hunched over as if it's you being squeezed by the screen's edges. My only real criticism is the running time. This film lasts 149 minutes, and certain scenes are deliberately slow to make you understand what the crew's situation is really like. This means you have to plan out when you're going to sit down with it - 10:00 at night after a long day? probably not the right time. Don't worry, the picture's worth planning your evening around.

Das Boot is a great film, It's fully immersive, exciting, thought-provoking, expertly crafted and unafraid to make the right choices instead of the easy ones. Aside from all of the technical and story-telling elements, it's admirable for the way it makes you feel. Director and screenplay writer Wolfgang Petersen has crafted a unique work and you'll want to experience it the right way, so clear your afternoon of any plans, turn off your cellphone, grab yourself a large soda, a bucket of popcorn and check out Das Boot. (Original German with English subtitles, on DVD, October 10, 2014)

[bitch-aucoin]

Meouch’s finger slips and he orders 20 pizzas instead of 2. And it was all charged to Sung’s credit card.

(this was very off the top of my head i hope u enjoy anon)

They had tried to be smart about it. Really, they had.

It would start around four to five PM, usually, with a sigh, a grumble, possibly even a soft posing of “...you guys hungry yet?”

And then, chaos. Pandora’s fucking box.

Hogan was never part of the equation. He would simply sit there and and watch them squabble-fuss-moan over what they were going to eat for dinner that night, expression teetering between amusement and being bored. 

So the problem really boiled down to him, Phobos, and Sung, which probably actually helped out. Three opinions, after all, already made it tough enough. He could work with the smaller man more often than not, at least,, whose only preference is that it be Earthen food, but then Phobos would step in.

And Phobos would open his damn mouth.

And then Phobos would ruin his life.

Eat healthy, eat better, eat well. Posed so sweetly, so well-meaningfully, that Sung couldn’t help but agree with the other alien. And Phobos knew. Would smile a smug, small smile when Sung began listing off build your own salad bars and probiotic smoothies he wanted to try and free range-locally sourced stuff. 

And every time, without fail, Meouch would then freak the fuck out. He was a carnivore, he liked meat, he couldn’t take it anymore! All he wanted was fat and sugar and grease, which then would get Sung’s attention because he had an infamous sweet tooth, and Phobos’s reprimand.

On and on, they ouroborosed themselves into oblivion like that, the struggle seemingly endless until Havve suggested their magnum opus.

The suggestion board.

Really, Meouch was certain the bastard was looking at excuse to throw his knives inside, but Sung liked to think that he just wanted to get involved. Be a part of the fun, you know? So they went and installed a cork board and pinned their top five suggestions and Meouch let Havve borrow his headband to double as a blindfold before they let him wind back and go.

It struck, sure as an arrow, and for a time things were easy and undeniable and good. It was luck, chance, and the Fates guiding them.

But then the impossible happened.

Pizza night.

-

“Do it again.”

They didn’t even watch Havve do it anymore. It felt like questioning a lesser god, in a sense. They would simply lounge around various parts of the cockpit instead, keeping to themselves. The robot cocked his head towards Sung, who then began to translate for him.

“What do you mean, do it again?” It was a double layered question for both the cyclops and his robot companion, Meouch supposed. Phobos was standing next to the board though, slim arms folded across his chest, something about him undeniable despite being so soft and pink and small.

“Because we’re not doing this.”

“That’s not how the rules work.” Meouch groused as he stood up, stalking over to the younger male. “We agreed, no questioning the knife.” That meant questioning Havve, and they all knew better than that.

Phobos shoved the paper in his face and it took Meouch a moment to make sense of it, but once he did he snorted, then shook his head, lips pulling back to flash his fangs in a casual threat. “You are not taking pizza away from me. That’s set in stone, bitch.”

“Pizza!” Sung clamored excitedly, jogging over to them, summoned by it’s name. Hook line and sinker, every time. The Doc loved his pizza, and he wouldn’t be denied. Especially since it had been months since they had last had a slice. He was throwing Phobos his best puppy eyed look now, nearly vibrating in place. “There’s gotta be an option that you’ll like, Phobs! Please?”

“There’s too many places to order from, too many types.” Phobos insisted, waving the tattered paper about. “We’re gonna spend all night trying to figure it out.”

Havve leaned into their conversation and Sung gave a soft and pleased “oh!” as they began to converse silently. “Havve just said... to order two pizzas! And also that he doesn’t appreciate the indecision on our part.” A pause, then Sung pushed the robot, brow furrowing. “I’m not saying that!”

“Did he say he was going to kill us if we chose something else?” Meouch drawled.

“...Maybe...” Sung admitted, looking embarrassed on Havve’s behalf.

Meouch rolled his eyes towards the Lepid with a smirk. “And that’s why we don’t question the knife, Phobos.” It was as easy as that.

Phobos threw his hands up, causing the paper to flutter, but it was clear they had won. And good. Phobos had had the last week’s worth of meals, Meouch was ready for something else.

It did take them time though. Because if they were going to order pizza then there had to be leftovers and that meant that both pizzas had to be divvied up. It was only fair, that way, and also why they didn’t just get more than two. They were musicians, after all, and sometimes-maybe vigilantes. They couldn’t spend too much. They all agreed on light sauce, at the very least, but then came the question of crust, extra cheese, meats, veggies, breadsticks...

It escalated to the point of Sung jumping between him and Phobos at one point, threatening to nunchuck the shit out of them if they didn’t calm down. And as always, Havve watched as it got progressively worse and worse, fists tucked under his rusting jaw, optics flashing quietly.

“OKAY. SO.” Meouch growled. “We’re going with... two hand tossed pizzas with light marinara sauce. First one is half of a meat lovers with extra cheese and garlic crust, then the other half is a taco pizza with no tomatoes with plain crust. The other one is going to be vegan cheese with every fucking veggie topping in existence on one side, and the other...” He paused and made a disgusted face and noise. “Hawaiian, extra pineapple. Gods, you guys are so fucking gross.”

“All pizza is good pizza.” Sung hummed. “I still wish we were getting the chicken and waffle one...” He sighed morosely then, kicking his legs up.

“You can get that on your own time. Now give me your credit info Phobos.”

Phobos’s head jerked in his direction, dark eyes tightening. “I’m not paying for it, Meouch. You are!”

“OH. Oh no I am not!” They were getting up in each other’s faces again, the tension inevitable. It was the hangriness, Meouch was sure of it, all of them practically starving at this point. “First you try to deny me my pizza, now you’re saying you’re not paying for it?”

Phobos got right up in his face, antennae curling in anger. “If you want it so much, you can take care of it! I paid for the last one!”

Meouch let out a sharp laugh of disbelief. He couldn’t be serious! “What last one? Last pizza!? It’s your turn, asshole!”

“I’LL PAY!” Sung shouted loudly, frisbee-ing his credit card at Meouch’s head seconds later. “JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME PAY FOR IT. And get me a large orange soda.” He went back down on the couch, mumbling to himself sullenly. “Because after all of this, I deserve it.”

Eyeing Phobos furiously as he typed the credit card information in with his claw, Meouch went about finalizing the order. “I swear to the gods, one of these days you’re going to get over this whole health guru kick and actually start enjoying yourself like a normal person and we can stop having these stupid fights.” He muttered sourly, not caring anymore.

“Oh that’s funny! I could say the same thing about you.” What he would give to just slam Phobos’s helmet over his head. He never spoke when he had that thing on... Wait, where was he again? “You’re going to have a heart attack and then you’ll come crawling to me for better living tips.”

“I have nine lives, you idiot! I don’t have to worry about that!” He slammed his paws down on the keyboard, causing Havve to shake his head and walk away. 

“WELL SUNG DOESN’T, ASSHOLE!” Phobos nearly shrieked.

Meouch spluttered and rolled his eyes, not caring anymore. “SUNG CAN DO ONE HUNDRED JUMPING JACKS IN LIKE, A MINUTE. I THINK HE’S FINE!”

“It’s actually seventy-five!” Sung interjected, causing both of them to whip towards them. “I’M JUST SAYING! WAIT! GUYS! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?”

Phobos went out one door and Meouch went out the other and they stayed that way until the pizza’s showed up.

All 20 of them.

-

Meouch wasn’t even aware of his terrible mistake until Sung screamed.

Phobos was faster getting to Sung than he was, something that he would probably brag about if he wasn’t staring at the current situation with even more than usual bug eyes. 

20 pizza boxes.

20 damn pizza boxes.

Havve had ten each balanced on both hands, looking stupid indifferent as Sung gaped at him. “B-but we can’t eat that much. A-and...” That’s when Meouch saw the receipt in his shaking hands. The painfully long receipt, detailing just how many pizzas they had gotten and for how much.

They all looked at him then, and Meouch could feel the floor slipping out from under him.

“It was an accident!” Meouch tried to protest, guilt growing as they all continued to stare at them except for Sung. “It could happen to anyone!” He panicked.

“...I didn’t even get my soda...” Sung whimpered after a moment of looking back at the pizzas and then the receipt once more, hanging his head in defeat.

“I told you.” Phobos at least had the kindness not to sneer or look smug as he addressed Meouch, only going as far as to shake his head as he put his arm around Sung, slowly damning him. “We should have picked something else.”

And that’s the story of how Commander Meouch lost his food ordering rights.

[askthedespairkids]

Chapter 1: Your First Lesson in Despair ~Daily Life~

//Woo! Finished this off and it’s ready to upload. The way this is formatted, I’ll show important moments from the daily life sections, then do highlights of the investigation. Trials will be full out, and at the end there will be FTE with the victim and killer of each chapter!

//Hope ya’ll enjoy

-Chapter 1 Daily Life, Cafeteria-

 We had all gathered when we woke up. Well…most of us. 14 out of the 16 in the group arrived at the cafeteria. You could really feel the tension among the group with what we were told yesterday…a killing game? What does it all even mean? It can’t be real, can it?

 “This isn’t ideal.” Watanabe-san started off as she scanned the room where we were scattered to different tables. “Who is missing? I want to keep a record of who isn’t coming to these meetings.”

 “You call them meetings…but it’s more or less a way to keep track of each other.” Kurosaki-san chuckled. “I believe only Mademoiselle Ram and Herr Okanaya are the only ones missing.” Okanaya-san and Ram-san…?

 “I tried to get Ram-chan to come out of her room, but she wouldn’t open her door.” Hachi-san said.

 “I don’t blame her. With the situation we’re in, it probably pays to be a little cautious.” Sly-san added. So…why are you here? Then again, if Sly-san’s the Ultimate Assassin, he probably has no reason to be worried.

 “Oka-chan, on the other hand? I saw him walking about but he totally threatened me when I tried to get closer to him. Ahhhh! I was really scared! I thought he was gonna hit me! We’re better off not being around him!” Irunami-san said. Okanaya-san was walking around? Most likely looking for a way out. If he knows the building’s layout, he’d know where to check for exists. I just wish he’d try to be more cooperative.

 “Unfortunately, we cannot force him to come. Though, I hope that both of them come around eventually. We need to work together in this situation in order to prevent any incidents from happening.” Watanabe-san said. ‘Incidents’ she says…she means so that nobody dies, right? Are we really gonna die in here? “For now, should we discuss the situation and our setting?”

 “Ah, if we’re discussing the setting them let me take the lead!” Without warning, Hachi-san clapped their hands together and produced a map resembling the floor plan on the E-handbook we received from Monokuma. “All right, who wants to annotate the map~? Hokama-chan! You do it!”

 “No, don’t ask me. I never learned how to write.” Amaterasu-san held up a hand to decline. “And call me Amaterasu.” She quickly added.

 “I’ll do it.” Shinko-san offered, grabbing the pen from Hachi-san. “Okay…obviously where we are right now is the cafeteria and the kitchen. This line of rooms is the dorms. How about this room?” He tapped on the room directly across from the cafeteria.

 We all ended up huddled around the map as Graves-san quickly stuck her hand up. “Oh! That’s a bathhouse! I tried it out yesterday and the water is super nice! I jumped straight in and didn’t want to leave!”

 “E-eh?! You didn’t even wash yourself beforehand?!” Kurohiko-san said.

 “A…are you supposed to?” Graves-san rubbed the back of her neck. I guess she doesn’t know how it all works in Japan…she’s definitely cleaning it first.

 “A bathhouse.” Shinko nodded and noted it then pointed to a room behind the cafeteria that was down another hallway. “And here?”

 “That’s a storage room. In addition to the food in the kitchen, that room is filled with snack foods, sodas, and other miscellaneous items like extra clothing. It could prove useful if we have to start rationing.” Sly-san explained.

 “Ah, but…our drawers in our dorm rooms are already filled with clothes, and when I went to get breakfast, Monokuma told me he’s gonna restock the food daily. So, I don’t think we’re gonna have to worry about rationing.” Kibe-san added.

 “How thoughtful, despite such a game, he doesn’t want you all to starve to death. How oddly generous.” Ishikawa-san smiled.

 “Just…make sure to eat with us, Ishikawa-san.” Kurohiko-san said. The thanatologist nodded though I wonder if she actually believed she needs to eat?

 “I know personally that this room is a boiler room. It’s got a giant furnace and a trash chute. Monokuma told me that each week, we have to assign someone new to take care of the furnace. He gave me the first week, so I guess we can cross that bridge when we get to it.” Shinko-san marked the boiler room down.

 “Take care of the furnace, what does that mean?” I asked.

 “Things that can’t fit in the chute are supposed to be burned in the furnace. He also mentioned how we could ball some evidence up and throw it in there. Seriously…I’m getting sick of hearing about that.”

 “Meanwhile in the building that the hallway connects us to…” Yokozawa-san pointed to the rooms on the map. “That’s the front entrance there, but it’s totally blocked off by all that machinery. Electronic locks, normal locks, this that and the next thing. Totally unbreakable.”

 “Unbreakable…we’re really trapped then…” Kibe-san seemed to pale.

 “That was already obvious from the start though. Don’t worry too much about it.” Sly-san looked over the room we hadn’t filled in yet. Even for an assassin, should he be so calm? It’s almost unnerving… “That’s an infirmary. It has two beds, some medication, and blood packs that are kept in a mini-fridge.”

 “An infirmary in a killing game? Really, even if it’s a school setting…” Kurosaki-san crossed his arms and sighed.

 “We obviously have the gymnasium. This room over here is like a school store. Monokuma said we can get all sorts of stuff from there. I went there last night to see if I could find something to break us out of here, but no luck.” Kurohiko-san said.

 “And this last room is an AV room. There’re rows upon rows of computers room. A projector, and a big screen. Maybe we could watch a movie in there or something.” Hachi-san suggested. “Though…we don’t have any internet.”

 Shinko-san finished off the map. “Alright…that’s everything. Now what are we supposed to do?”

 “I’m not entirely sure…” Watanabe-san admitted. “For now, maybe we should split up for the day…that seems like the most sensible choice.” We got a better understanding of our surroundings, but that alone…but what am I supposed to do? Maybe I should find a way to spend my time?

 -Chapter 1 Daily life Bonus Event: Pretty Pretty Cakes-

 “Ahh…” Irunami-san whined. “Naga-chaaaaan!! I can’t handle it! I’m bored! So bored! I need something to do with my time or I’ll go totally insane!” He wants me to do something about his boredom…?

 “U-um…what kind of things did you do before to pass the time?”

 “Hmm…I really liked to bake at the homeless shelter. They said my brownies were really good! Ah, maybe I should bake…! But I’d need some good utensils. The stuff they have in the kitchen is no good for the way I do it.” Irunami-san pouted and kicked the floor. Ah, come to think of it…

 “I have a baking set I got from the school store. Would that do?” As I told him, his eyes lit up like Christmas decorations.

 “Naga-chan, you’re the best! Alright, alright! If you bring the utensils and stuff to the kitchen later then I’ll be ready to get my bake on!” Irunami-san stood on his tiptoes and patted my head before skipping away. All I have to do is bring them to the kitchen. Seems easy enough.

 ----

 I arrived in the kitchen later with what Irunami-san asked me to bring. When I arrived I found a small crowd in the kitchen. Watanabe-san, Kurosaki-san, Kibe-san, Graves-san, Asano-san, and naturally Irunami-san were all crowded around the centre table.

 “I…Irunami-san, what’s going on?”

 “I figured that if we were gonna do some baking, I should invite some other people to join in! The more people we have, the better!” His face was beaming with pride at the turnout. I looked around at the eager faces.

 “C’mon, I wanna bake already!” Graves-san whined, waving her arms about. “I haven’t had brownies in forever so if these are as good as Sadao says they are, then I wanna eat then right now!”

 “We have the ingredients already so should we just jump right into it? Before Fraulein Graves has a fit, I mean.”

 “Kurosaki-san, you came along as well?” I questioned.

 “Ah, is it that surprising? How could I turn down an offer from such a cute boy, y’know? It was impossible to pass up this opportunity.” He explained. Geez…he’s just here to flirt, isn’t he?

 “What an annoyance you are. I can’t stand those who try to force a harem.” Watanabe-san almost spat. S-seriously, what kind of personality does she have?! I can’t pinpoint her at all. “No matter. Shall we start?”

 “Okayyyy~!” Irunami-san chirped.

 The baking session went…as expected with people like these.

 “Ahhh!!! Kurosaki-kun stole my sugar!” Kibe-san complained.

 “I did not! Mademoiselle, keep her off of me before she tears me for something I didn’t do!!” Kurosaki-san clung to Watanabe-san’s shoulder as Kibe-san began beating at him with a chocolate-covered whisk. “At least clean it if you’re to hit me!”

 “I’ll hit you in a second if you don’t let go.” Watanabe-san said in a low voice, glaring at the two. Both quietened down instantly and went back to their stations. I looked over at Asano-san who was methodically creating her batch, much further along in the process than anyone else.

 “It is odd. I never knew that this was how people my age spent their time together. I did so much home economics that it didn’t even occur to me it could be used for socialising.” What a sheltered girl. I can’t help but feel sorry for her.

 “Nagata-san, make sure you aren’t using too much flour.” Watanabe-san brought me back to what I was doing, I looked down at my own bowl realising I had been building up quite the pile of flour on the sieve.

 “A-ah!” The problem with flour in a sieve is that no matter how you move, you’re getting flour everywhere. Irunami-san pouted at me from across the counter.

 “Geez, Naga-chan, you’ll never make a good stay-at-home-husband with baking skills like that.” Why am I already having my life predicted by you? “Looks like it’s up to the great Sadao Irunami to show you how it’s really done!”

 Irunami-san abandoned his own work to help me with mine, step-by-step. And eventually…we had several plates full of brownies, Irunami-san put name cards in front of the plates so we’d know which plate belonged to which person.

 “Yahooo! We did it! They all look so good!” Irunami-san bounced around the kitchen, hugging everyone individually. “Ah…I don’t even know which one to try first…”

 “Huh? What’s going on in here?” We all looked over to the kitchen entrance to find Shinko-san standing there with curiosity written on his face. “It’s sickeningly sweet in here. Was there a sugar blast or something?”

 “We all baked brownies! Shin-chan, you should try some and tell us what you think!” Irunami held out a plate to Shinko-san. The director stepped back and frowned, pushing the plate away from his face.

 “I would rather not poison my body with such amateur works.” He looked away.

 “Ah, that’s a shame. Even though we all went through so much effort…” Watanabe-san sighed. Shinko-san peered out of the corner of his eyes, his face instantly flushing to a bright red. He swiped the top brownie from the plate.

 “F-fine, if you’re going to get on my ass about it, then I’ll eat one! Fuck!” He grumbled a few more curses before taking a bite. There was a small silence before Shinko-san’s expression became that of a violent sneer. “Disgusting. Which one of you pigs decided that was okay to give to someone like me?”

 “Ah, Herr Shinko, you’re too mean to me! I’ll cry if you insult my baking skills like that!” Kurosaki-san put a hand up to his face and wiped away a non-existent tear.

 “Get better then, dipshit.” Shinko-san growled before leaving. Gagging slightly as he left.

 “I suppose now is a bad time to mention I’m not a great chef?” Kurosaki-san chuckled a little as Irunami-san subtly threw away his plate of brownies.

 -Chapter 1 Daily Life, Motive-

 After hearing Monokuma’s announcement, the group all gathered inside the gymnasium. I couldn’t ignore how many nervous expressions were painting the room, my own included. Though what really got my attention were those two…

 “Ram-san and Okanaya-san? You’re here too?” I asked. Okanaya-san seemed to growl before he answered me.

 “What the fuck did you expect? That bastard bear told us we all have to be here. With the situation we’re in, it’d be stupid to ignore him.” He crossed his arms and glared at me, clearly angered as if I had taken him for an idiot or something. Ram-san stayed silent, avoiding any eye-contact with the others. She really didn’t want to leave her room, obviously.

 “H-hey…does anyone else have a bad feeling about all this? I really don’t wanna be here right now.” Kurohiko-san fidgeted with the top button of his shirt.

 “Cool it, Doi-chan. If you keep up that attitude, I’m gonna get annoyed.” Amaterasu-san yawned obnoxiously as she spoke. “I wanna go back to my nap, so can we get this over with…?”

 “D…Doi-chan…?” Kurohiko-san repeated as he began mumbling an incoherent monologue to himself. That guy has some issues he needs to work through.

 “Mmmm…I wonder…Ha-chan! Maybe we can work together and totally destroy Monokuma-sensei!” Irunami-san poked Hachi-san’s shoulder. The illusionist seemed to twitch slightly at the contact. “A hypnotist and an illusionist could be unstoppable together, don’t’cha think?!”

 “The problem is that my magic is exactly that: illusions. It’s not like I could ever properly hold off Monokuma…” Hachi-san replied sadly. “Is it possible to hypnotise a robot anyway?”

 “Ah…you’re right. Ahhhh! And I thought I came up with a cool idea too!” Even though we’ve not been here a long time, I can see the small relationships between the group growing. Some people just seemed to gel well together instantly, almost as if they’ve known each other for a long time.

 …am I…alone?

 “Upupupupu! Sorry to keep you all waiting!” We all stopped and turned to the stage where Monokuma launched up onto the podium. “Wow. Look at all of you getting along so well. It fills my heart with joy, knowing my students are such good friends…oooh…I might tear up.” He shook his head and his claws sharpened. “As if! Why aren’t you guys killing each other yet?! This was so much easier with that council!”

 “Council?” Watanabe-san repeated, though quickly ignored.

 “Hmm…I guess it’s hard to get you guys to start killing without any incentive. Well, if that’s what it takes then I’ll just have to give it to you now!” Monokuma produced a number of envelopes and threw them into the air. Each was marked with one of our names, and though hesitant, we all eventually grabbed our respective envelopes. “Now, if you look inside, you’ll find a very special thing! A name or a word or a phrase, maybe even an image! It might not hold significance to you…but it does to someone in the room!”

 “Explain. Clearly.” Watanabe-san demanded.

 “Usually I would just give you something like a video that means something special to you and only you…but that formula is way overdone! What you have is somebody else’s motive! What kind of motive you ask…? It’s unfinished business from the outside world!” Monokuma placed his paws over his mouth, attempting to stop himself from laughing.

 I looked down at the envelope with my name crudely written on the front. I tore it open and read what was on it. In big block letters it simply said “APE”.

 “How does this make us want to kill?” Sly-san said.

 “Well…in 24 hours, I’ll reveal that unfinished business to all of you! And if some of you have already figured out what your unfinished business is…I’m sure you wouldn’t want it getting out.” Monokuma’s red eye flashed menacingly. “Upu…upupupupu!” And with that, he disappeared behind the podium.

 There was an eerie silence looming in the air. What kind of unfinished business would I have in the outside world? What does “APE” mean? Who does it belong to? Who has mine? There’s so many things I want to know about…

 “Oi! Show me your letter!” I snapped back when Okanaya-san began advancing towards Shinko-san. “I saw that fuckin’ look you gave me! You have something that’s mine, don’t you!?” Shinko-san scoffed and pushed Okanaya-san away.

 “Don’t be such a brute. I was simply admiring how the steam flared out from those nostrils of yours. Besides, someone like me would never be able to identify if this motive belonged to you.” Shinko-san shrugged dismissively. That really didn’t seem to please Okanaya-san as he went to grab Shinko-san by the shirt, Shinko-san batted Okanaya-san’s arm away. “Do not even think about touching me!”

 “You egotistical bastard, I’ll fuckin’ kill you if you act like that!” That set off alarm bells quickly in the group. Watanabe-san called on the both of them to cut it out, but it didn’t seem like either of them were listening.

 “H-hey, maybe you should calm down-“

 “Huh…?” Okanaya-san loomed over me when I tried to intervene. “You wanna get involved, asshole?! I’ll fuckin’ kill you too!”

 “Th-that’s going too far, you shouldn’t say stuff like that! You’re not thinking properly at all!” I kept trying different lines to diffuse the situation but before I knew it Okanaya-san’s fist was reeling back.

 Then black.

 -Chapter 1 Daily Life, Infirmary-

 “Ughhhh…” I slowly let the light floor my vision. It took me a few moments to register the fact that the blurriness was caused by my glasses being removed. “Wh…where….?”

 “A-ah!” I heard a squeak and someone trip over something. I could make out the grey blob in front of me enough to guess who it was. The only with that colour scheme…

 “Ram-san…?” I guessed. She grabbed something next to bed and handed me it. I felt they were my glasses and I put them back on. I was right, it was Ram-san. Now that I had clear vision, I knew I was in the infirmary. “…what happened? Ah!” As I spoke, there was a sting by my right temple.

 “O-oh…you were knocked out by Okanaya-kun…Watanabe-san asked me to take you here to treat your injury. You were bleeding and needed a stitch, so I patched you up…” Her voice was demure. Scared, almost.

 “Right, I remember the fight now. What happened? Are Shinko-san and Okanaya-san okay?”

 “Y-yes…o-once you got hit, a few of the o-others jumped in and pushed the two apart. Luckily nobody else got hurt.” ‘luckily’. Did I have to take the blow so we could avoid a murder maybe…? How lucky for everyone else that they didn’t get hit.

 “So, you patched me up?”

 “R-right. E-even if it’s a gross talent, being the Ultimate Taxidermist means I’m great with stitches.” She smiled weakly, but there was a hint of pride in it. She must really love her talent.

 “Ram-san, I’m really sorry about what I said when we met. I didn’t mean to sound like your talent was gross or something. I do really think what you do is impressive.” I should’ve apologised earlier, but Ram-san wasn’t answering her door for anyone.

 She seemed genuinely shocked by what I said, caught in a momentary disbelief. “Ah…th-thank you, Nagata-kun.” She smiles softly. A genuine smile, and even if it’s only for a moment, I’m glad she’s smiling.

 -Chapter 1, Daily Life BDA-

 The next day, I arrived at the cafeteria earlier than usual to find most of the usual suspects there. Sly-san, Asano-san, Kurosaki-san, Ishikawa-san…but what surprised me was- “Ram-san? You came too?”

 “A-ah, yes! I, um…I felt more unsafe being alone, so…I figured it was better to come along here in the morning.” She played with the piece of hair that trailed down the centre of her face as she spoke. I smiled a little, it was good that she seemed to be trusting the group a little more. I wonder if it has something to do with what we had talked about yesterday?

 “Has anyone seen Shinko? Or Watanabe? They’re both usually here by now.” Sly-san’s question seems normal, but with the current situation, I can’t help but feel alarmed.

 “Couldn’t they have simply overslept?” Ishikawa-san suggested.

 “Not a chance. Not with that Monokuma announcement in the morning. It’d wake even the heaviest of sleepers.” Kurosaki-san smirked. The more they talked, the more anxious I got. I think my face gave it away because Ram-san looked at me and frowned.

 “Nagata-kun…do you want to go look for them? We can check their doors.” She suggested. I was probably being paranoid, but...

 “Y-yeah, let’s go.” I stood up probably too quickly, but I don’t care. Ram-san and I leave the room and walk towards the dorm hallway.

 That’s when we hear it though. A loud scream, almost bloodcurdling. Alarm bells are really going off in my head now. “Wh-who was that?!” Ram-san exclaimed. She didn’t wait for an answer as she grabbed my wrist and began pulling me toward the source of the sound. Thinking about how far away it sounds it had to come from…

 “The boiler room…” I mumbled. Ram-san and I glanced at each other nervously before I reached for the door handle. It’s fine, I keep telling myself. Everything is fine…

 I’m just paranoid…right?

 When we walk into the boiler room, on the ground behind the shutters is the body of Maemi Watanabe, the Ultimate Harem Mangaka, face down on the floor, blood seeping through the back of her cardigan. And next to the door is the extremely pale Shinko-san, who must have been that let out the scream.

 It takes a moment to hit us before…

 “Ah…KYAAAAAAAAA!!!” Ram-san let out her own scream. I didn’t even flinch from the volume, I was so dumbfounded by what I was looking at that I just fell to my knees.

 “W-Watanabe-san…? This…c-can’t be right…” I saw her yesterday. She was acting the same as always. So serious but had this playful side that you couldn’t help wanting to be her friend. She wanted to lead us out of the game without any deaths so…wh-why is Watanabe-san like that!?

 ~Ding dong, bing bong~

 My attention was brought to the monitor that flashed on displaying Monokuma. “A body has been discovered! After a certain amount of time is given, a class trial shall be held! Please all gather at the scene of the crime, the boiler room!” The monitor switched off.

 “N-no way…a class trial?” Shinko-san spoke. A class trial was that thing Monokuma said would happen whenever a murder took place…which meant…Watanabe-san was murdered? By one of us?

[staarblaster]

Chapter Three

Hey, guys, before I upload chapter three I want to add another really boring announcement. School starts up again in tomorrow days, and I know my uploading schedule will be scarce. However, I will try to have chapters up whenever I can. Anyways here is chapter three and four, four is going up with a separate post. My posting schedule will be pretty random and I will post when I can. Also,, I’m gonna take a hiatus, for a month(?) 

Chapter Three

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself”-Mark Twain

Perfection (n):  the embodiment of being perfect

My grandmother was my hero when I was little she would tell me stories about her childhood. Growing up her father was a sound technician for MGM and her mother did the makeup and sometimes the celebrities would come over on special occasions like her birthday.

I suppose that’s what prompted her to want to work in the media and journalism.

She used to tell me stories of her adventures,  across Europe and her interviews with varying monarchies. It was on a train back to California where she met my grandfather,  she was drinking a scotch soda, which unbeknownst to him was more soda than scotch.

He was deep in a game of poker with several of his friends who were coming down to California, she was drinking a scotch soda, unbeknownst to him had more soda than scotch.

He was deep in a game of poker with several of his friends, she watched in silence with both curiosity and intrigue, occasionally getting glares from the men sitting around the table.

She watched as her future husband flushed hundreds, more like thousands of dollars into the game until she confidently said she was going to play next which got a few hearty chuckles, which caused her to roll her eyes, most of them were drunk and she had a very good poker face.  As the game commenced she managed to not just win back the money but two engagement rings, a pocket watch, and even her husband’s heart.

She used to tell me at the end of every story that curiosity and wit were our greatest gifts and with them, we could solve any mystery.

But once she died she became like a ghost, pictures of her were removed, only leaving rumors of her behind.

I couldn't let her disappear, so I decided to conduct my own private investigation.

When I was a little kid and I found a picture of her and my grandfather and my mom. I smiled as I held my first real lead.

In the picture, my grandparents looked so happy and then I noticed my mom hiding behind her leg. Slowly and gently I tried to remove the picture from the frame,  and as I slowly got it out my mom ripped the picture from my hands.

Her facial expression was a bright beet red as she violently ripped it out of my hands.

“Why can't you just play your role, Juliana? For once I'd like if you kept your nose of business that doesn't even involve you. ”

I felt the tears swell up inside of me. But, instead of fighting back my better instincts (crying) I immediately hugged my mom.

She sighed,

“I love you Jules...  sometimes I wish you'd be normal. Can you do that for me please?”

I nodded my head up and down slowly.

As she tucked me in again,  she kisses my head and holds the photograph in her hands, the next day I decided to take a little more time to try and fit in.

From then on stopped keeping my blonde hair up and let it down, I ditched my glasses for my more comfortable contacts.

I started to get involved more but it never seems to be enough for my parents. They kept insisting that I should do more, eventually leading me to dance and violin lessons (fortunately only lasting two years).

In the dance class, I realized that I was going to need ”subjects” after all a queen couldn't lead on her own.

In the dance class, I found the Chrissy's, they seem to have the dance studio under their boot heel.

If I could “liberate” them perhaps they'd follow me.

It didn't take long before I eventually made two friends in the class, Ophelia and Madison.

Madison was at least five foot eight and according to the Chrissy's had two left feet. She had light dyed purple hair and her eyes were a light Hazel although she seems like the last person that would be in the dance class she could actually dance pretty well. She would put the facade of insecurities but with confidently dance to Tchaikovsky. She was free to express who she was, as dancing was apart of her.

Ironically, however, being raised by a single dad and four brothers she had to keep the tougher shell in class for the sake of showing fragility. However, once she opened up she was loyal, dedicated and a really good listener.

Ophelia had a caramel skin tone, she was shy and had a shortened forearm but had the biggest heart.

She would walk dogs, and volunteer anywhere to show that she wasn't a girl with just a short arm.

As our friendship blossomed we decided that we would have a come have a “dance battle” against the Chrissy’s which was seen as ridiculous. But my girls and I were ready we could be successful.

However, on the day of our “battle” Ms. Clarke surprised us with all one-on-one auditions with Warren Academy, i.e one of the most prestigious art boarding school, it was basically Teen Julliard. Not everyone would make it in (obviously), but if you did you had potential to be a Broadway legend.

Krissy and I were unfortunately paired together and our theme was duality. One of us would play the person staring into the mirror “angel” and the other would play the reflection the “devil”.

Of course, yours truly got stuck playing the devil and Krissy had to defeat me. Everything was going smoothly but as soon as I was getting ready to give Krissy my final blow Krissy had stepped on my ankle hard.

She claimed that it was an accident only to tell her friends that was indeed deliberate which prompted a) Warren offered me a full scholarship b) my parents threatened to sue the dance studio and Krissy's parents of criminal action weren't taken.

Eventually, it was with Krissy being sent to juvie for two to five years.

As I began to start at my new school Maddie, Ophelia and I began to drift away from each other. I had to do well in this Art School even if I was alone.

Over time I gained a sort of popularity stemming from the incident with my ankle it just started casually saying that I broke it following an audition and then warping into a story of me breaking it while I was on a Broadway stage.

My attempts to quell the rumors only spawn more rumors and newfound popularity and a new boyfriend. My life completely changed when I entered Warren and I never expected any more changes.

---

Wednesday’s were personally my favorite day of the week: Dance team and theatre practice. We were putting on the musical Chicago.

I had gotten lucky and was allowed to the Assistant Choreographer.

Between that and balancing four classes, two of which being Advanced Placement it was a miracle I could stay focused.

I heard my phone’s alarm going off as well as an obnoxiously loud knock.  I tried to stop my alarm which was Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall from the speakers of my phone which I did kind of successfully.

I opened the door, I saw one of the girls from my dance team, her face was completely flushed, it was clear that she had ran to see me.

Her breathing was hitched, I awkwardly invited her inside my single room, and got her some water to drink which she drank eagerly. I recognized her immediately, she was Hana Andersen, a shy yet over-eager freshman on the dance team. She was a little rusty but was a little ball of energy when it came to freestyle.

“Han you wanna tell me what’s going on?” I asked carefully.

My door was closed, so no one could see the empathy I had hidden for years.

Her hands started to shake and I gently started to coax her into speaking, and she gently took a small breath.

“I-I...Don’t think I’m fit to be at Warren,” she whispers.

Her tone is soft and a bit distressed, but still sad nonetheless.

I nodded,  gently taking her hand,

“You know.. I think you do. Everyone’s been in your shoes at least once. Hell, even you can’t expect to become a star overnight. If you want I can help you, at least if you want me too?”

Hana’s eyes light up as well as faintly brimmed with tears and she nods overzealously and immediately hugs me.

“Thank you! Thank you, Juliana...Jules!”

I nod and look at the time, 7:25 am. Shit, if  I’m not careful I’m going to miss breakfast.

“Meet in my room before dinner?”

She nodded again, as she opened the door and smiled, and said

“Pink Floyd's my brother’s favorite! ”

I smile and lie effortlessly,

“Same with mine.”

I closed the door behind me, I looked at the time again, 7:32. There was no way I was going to get breakfast in time, I had to take a shower and get ready for my advanced English class across campus.

I frowned, going straight to the back of my room grabbing my lilac and rosewater body wash.

I pulled out my school sweater and a pair of leggings, fortunately, there was also a pair of flats by my bed frame.

I grabbed my ID plus my shower stuff and was surprised at the silence as I walked through the hallway of my residence hall.

It was a nice contrast from the usual hustle and bustle I usually experienced which came from running several clubs and homework as well as living in New York.

As I got out of the shower and put on my “runway” outfit and I was greeted with several texts from my Dance Team Group chat and Jaxson (my boyfriend).

Where are you 😟

We’re abt to go on!! 💃🏻💃🏿👯

hey babe, dunno if you forgot lol u dont forget. First classes are canceled. the big pep rally with the new students. the dance team is looking for u! 8:25!

My eyes widened in shock, how could I have forgotten that. There was no time to change and I couldn’t miss this especially with the rumor of a Broadway talent scout in the audience.

I texted them both back

On my way!! ✨💜

I grabbed my backpack, my English Book and quickly ran to the gymnasium and I saw my team about to go out on the floor.

“H-hey! I’m here!”

Jaxson immediately hugs me,

“Jules! Thank god! ”

I smiled immediately kissing his cheek.

“Let’s get this show on the road!”

“You’re gonna kill it!” Jaxson said excitedly.

As we get ready to get on the dance floor Hana looks at me and then looks awkwardly at  Victoria who is scowling at me.

Victoria was about 5’7”, dark blonde hair and dark blue eyes, she was the lead in the musical who personally wanted my job as the assistant choreographer.

“What the fresh hell are you wearing?!” she hisses at me as we enter the gym.

I ignore her for a moment, but for a moment smile,

“I’m just showing school spirit”

As the music starts, I feel like I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, people murmuring to each other and then I make eyes with the talent scout. Her eyes are a cold and piercing amberish hazel and I can feel my hands shaking and I get cold and sweaty, it goes black almost immediately.

---

I’m in the woods, its calm, and  I know I’m not home. The surroundings are familiar yet strange and I could assume this could only be how this is how Alice felt when she fell down the rabbit hole.

I turn for a moment, seeing a girl, she couldn’t be older than me but if she is it has to be a least a year’s difference.

She looks at me with a small smile, there is a quartz crystal crown on her head. She walks closer to me, gently placing a warm hand on my cheek. Her voice is calm as she gently says.

“You need to wake up. We’ll meet again soon Jules. I promise”

My eyes shoot open and I realized that I was in the nurse’s office and I see Jaxson is holding my hand. He smiles looking at me with calm jade green eyes.

“You feeling okay?”He gently squeezed my hand.

Jaxson opens his mouth to start talking, almost immediately the school nurse comes in.

“You had a textbook anxiety attack. I’d recommend resting, I’ll write you a note excusing you from class. Just collect your homework.” she says as she writes something down on a blue slip of paper.

Jax holds my hand as I get out of the cot, and I take the blue slip from the nurse’s hand.

“Take it easy Jules... Don’t overexert yourself.” the nurse recommended.

As we exited the office Jax kissed my cheek, and walk around the campus to collect my textbooks.

“You wanna get lunch at my parent’s place. You didn’t get to eat breakfast today.”

I  was about to say yes but I got a text from Reyna, Victoria’s understudy for the role of Roxie Hart in Chicago.

Can u pls pls help w All that Jazz 😟

I sighed, telling myself I’d eat dinner, besides Reyna was more important especially with the show being the first mark as a choreographer. Sure, I had choreographed the dance team routines but this was bigger.

“We can grab lunch tomorrow?”

Jaxson kisses my forehead and walks off.

“Of course love”

Sure np! Lemme drop off my books.

I put my phone in my pocket, and I notice a tour going on the group looks pretty excited, but as the group gets closer, one of the girls sticks out.

She has a small silver stud in her right nostril, and her brown hair has been cut short. But otherwise, her other features look the exact same from when we were kids.

Under my breath, I silently muttered out of fear and confusion.

“Krissy?”

It couldn’t be, could it?

I unlocked the door to my dorm and dropped off my books and texted Reyna to let her know that I was on my way. As I walked into the room I checked my old group chat, the last messages were old invitations and good luck messages from Ophelia and Maddie.

Hey, I know I haven’t been on here much but I’m p sure I saw Krissy? Wanna meet for some 🍕 Maybe @ 7  ✨💜

I shove my phone into my pocket and heading to the music room and I see Reyna stretching on the bar, as she finishes, she notices me and gives me a smile.

“Ready?” I ask her curiously as I set up the music track up on my phone.

She nodded,

“As I’ll ever be.”

I nod,

“5...6, 7,8” As I hit the play button and watched her sing and dance, there were instances where she’s strong like her singing, but her dancing gets sloppy when the chorus hits. When I break down the routine, Rey starts to look and sound polished and I considered starting the routine of the Cell Block Tango when the bell rings, bringing lunch and our practice to a close.

“Thanks, Jules! You’ve saved my ass!” She hugs me happily and walks off.

I smiled and head back to my room ordering some lunch cause I am starving, I order a simple grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, and as soon as I arrive I feel so much better and start with writing out my notes.

---

As the day slowly begins to wind down, slowly begins to wind down, I can see the sun begin to set. I check the old group chat for anything from my last message about Krissy and is met with silence, I sigh as I get myself in some dance clothes in preparation for practicing with Hana.

I check my phone again, still nothing, and as I let out a sigh until I heard a knock on the door. As I opened the door to see the smiling face of Hana who immediately hugs me.

I smile faintly,

“Okay, you ready to get to work?”

She nodded, her eyes light up instantly

“Heck yeah!”

I chuckled remembering my own enthusiasm from last year.

“I’ll go first.I’ll see how you do.”

I hit the play button and Zella Day’s Hypnotic comes on and as I count myself in, I let the music flow through me.

I smile a bit making myself look as if I am a siren entrancing a sailor in Ancient Greece. When the song ends Hana is staring, her hands visibly shaking.

“You’ve got this” I remind her gently.

She nods weakly and as I started the music she tries to replicate my moves, just like Reyna she is strong in some spots. I smile and start to dance with her until she’s more comfortable.

It’s not long before she’s getting it, I smile giving her a high five as she starts to nail the moves.

“Thank you so much, Jules!!”

I smile,

“Don’t mention it. I was gonna grab some pizza. You wanna join me?”

She nodded eagerly.

“Come on now! I’m paying.”

---

As Hana and I finish our pizza its almost 7:40, we’re laughing and joking but we pass by my house. All the lights are off, except for my bedroom light and the one in the attic. I also notice that my parents aren’t home, and  I stare at the window.

Hana looks up with me,

“Jules? You okay?” Han asks gently.

I blink snapping out of it,

“Yeah... You go back to Warren I’ll catch up. ”

She rose an eyebrow,

“You sure?”

I actually wasn’t too sure in all honesty, but instead of sending her away, I politely and calmly whispered.

“Keep watch.”

She nodded, but gasped silently,

“What if we get in trouble?”

I chuckled,

“This is my house, we’ll be okay..”

I went around back to the emergency exit and smiled looking at the slightly faded pink blossoms. I hated to uproot them but I found the spare key taking it to the front door. I ran back down and opened the door.

Hana looked around, her face etched with fear.

“Jules!” She whimpered.

“It’ll just take a minute!” I insisted.

As I go up the stairs to my room, I cringe at some old pictures, remembering how many hours it took to get right. I  push the door open to my bedroom, everything appears to be normal except a box made out of faded old wood is in the center of my bed.

I grabbed the box and closed the door and put the key back under the pot, and lead Hana back to Warren.

“That’s enough excitement for one day,” I say examining the box.

I run my fingers over it, and offer Hana a chance to look at it.

Hana picks it up, her hands fumbling over it, and the box awkwardly fell out of her hands.  The box falling to the ground,  a wedge from the bottom, peeking out. As she hands it back to me I slowly pry it back its contents spilling out. Letters, Photographs; all things that I’ve never seen except the one of my grandmother and my mom hiding behind her leg. Hana and I start to go through the items and in the slew of things there was a white knight piece. Hana is holding an envelope with a letter and I’m looking at a picture.

It looks like a simple polaroid, that says: Me, Andrew, Patrick, Oliver and Sophia. Sophia’s hair is a dark black, and flowing. She is smiling a bunny ears. The other three boys are smiling in their uniforms.

“Hey Jules.. You should read this.”

I nodded and reading out loud, holding the envelope that was awkwardly torn.

January 11th

Dear Sophia,

I am writing this letter as a warning. In three days time He will find you. He has been in my dreams quite frequently and I fear he knows about the iteration. You have to hide it, you and Jeremy have too close with Daisy. And I know after our disbandment we promised we would never talk again but I pray to Elysia he doesn’t find Daisy. The vision that caused our severance is much clearer to me. The Demon King will return this iteration.

Run Sophia Run

Yours

The name is cut off but all I can wonder is who is Sophia?

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[daisybaeks-archive]

darling, it’s you (it’s always been you)

Genre: Fluff, bits of angst but it works out

Pairing: Baekhyun x Sehun, side/past Baekhyun x Chanyeol

Contains: wow this is a REALLY LONG FIC (at least for me), lots of tooth rotting fluff, my fave tropes (that are totally cliche but who cares not me), and uh yeah welcome to my first pairing fic i got carried away

This fic is very very special because it is actually a birthday gift!!!! Ari aka @byunrelatable has turned 21 today! Ari, I love you so so so much. You’ve easily got one of the biggest hearts of everyone I know. Whenever I speak to you I just feel so loved and like I’m cared for, and I really value you as a person. I hope you enjoy (I wanted to challenge myself with a pairing I’m unfamiliar with, and also because you’ve singlehandedly increased my love for Sehun)! I love you so much. I hope you’ve had a great day so far!

(also lol yes i was the anon who sent you the fanfic asks a couple weeks ago. it’s yan!!!)

Sehun is five and Baekhyun is seven when they become next door neighbors and tumble into each other’s lives.

It’s a particularly hot day in June, and Sehun’s t-shirt is sticking to him uncomfortably when his mother calls him downstairs. The last thing he expects to see when he gets there is another boy standing on their porch, grinning and showing off the gap where a baby tooth undoubtedly used to be.

“This is Baekhyun,” his mother says. Sehun immediately goes to hide behind his mother’s legs and peers at the strange boy curiously. Sehun doesn’t have many friends; there are the kids of his mom’s friends that he sees every year at the Christmas party, but that’s about it. This boy seems different from them. He stands there so sure of himself, smiling, seemingly not self-conscious about the fact that his shirt has holes or that his sweat is making his bangs stick to his face.

“Don’t be shy, Sehunnie,” his mother chides. “Baekhyun’s our new neighbor and he needs a friend.”

Baekhyun cranes his neck so he can make eye contact with Sehun. “Come on, Sehunnie,” he says, already picking up his mother’s nickname for him. “I wanna go play ball in the backyard.”

It takes a little bit of coaxing from the two of them, but Sehun eventually heads out and follows Baekhyun into his empty yard.

“You’re young, aren’t you?” Baekhyun says as he digs a ball out of one of the cardboard boxes sitting on his back porch.

“I’m five,” Sehun answers, shyly.

“I’m seven,” Baekhyun chirps back. He finds what he’s looking for and suddenly flings the ball at Sehun, who catches it easily. “But that’s okay! We can still be best friends!”

And by the time that the unusually hot summer is over, that’s exactly what they had become. Somewhere along the way, during sleepovers and barbeques and trips to the grocery store with their mothers, Baekhyun had become the most important person in Sehun’s world.

-

Sehun is twelve and Baekhyun is fourteen when he finally tells his best friend why he keeps refusing to tell him which girl in his class he likes.

Baekhyun’s sprawled across Sehun’s bed as he stares at the ceiling. “It’s not like I know any of them,” he whines. “Why won’t you tell me? I’m your best friend aren’t I? We tell each other everything don’t we? Don’t you love me?”

“Yeah,” Sehun replies, feigning disinterest. He spins around in his desk chair and hurls his pencil at Baekhyun, snickering a little when the older boy yelps. “But you’re being annoying. Knock it off.”

“I just wanna know!” Baekhyun says, sitting up. “You’re never into girls, Sehunnie.”

“Well, maybe that’s it then. Maybe I’m not into girls,” he blurts out.

In the silence that follows, Sehun realizes that he royally screwed up.

“I – I mean…”

“Sehun,” Baekhyun says slowly, seriously. Sehun feels like his tongue has turned to cotton. “What is it then? Do you like guys?”

Sehun’s heart crawls in his throat. “U-Um… Yeah? I don’t really know.”

Baekhyun stares at him for a long, long, moment. It’s almost too much to bear. Sehun’s two seconds away from bursting into laughter and saying ‘just kidding!’ when suddenly his best friend smiles.

“So I can finally tell you about this guy in my class, then.”

Sehun’s utterly relieved, though there’s a flitting pain in his chest that he can’t identify before it passes. “You too?”

Baekhyun smiles again, shrugs, and Sehun can see it now, the slight pink in Baekhyun’s cheeks, the fiddling of his fingers. His friend has a crush.

“I like girls too, but… I don’t know, Sehunnie. This guy…”

Sehun rolls his eyes. “Tell me about him then, you drama queen.”

Baekhyun lays back down and rolls onto his stomach, propping up his chin in his hands. He stares at Sehun’s wall almost dreamily. “His name is Chanyeol…”

-

Sehun is fourteen and Baekhyun is sixteen when he knows he’s screwed for life.

“Can I practice on you?” Baekhyun asks.

“Practice what?” They’re at Baekhyun’s house this time, home alone and sprawled on the living room couch.

“How I’m going to ask out Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says after chugging down the last of his orange soda. “It needs to be great.”

Sehun rolls his eyes. “Fine. As long as you don’t be gross about it afterwards.”

Baekhyun nods and sits so that he’s facing Sehun and takes a deep breath.

“Hey, so uh… I think you’re really cute,” Baekhyun starts.

Sehun bursts into laughter and Baekhyun hits him in the shoulder. “Hey, hey, hey, aren’t you supposed to be the supportive best friend?”

“I am being supportive,” Sehun says after his giggling as subsided. “What if he laughs in your face? You have to prepare yourself.”

“Shut up,” Baekhyun grumbles. “Let me try again.” He takes another breath and steadies himself, as if he’s an actor applying for a role.

“Hey. I think you’re really cute. Like, um, you have cute hair. And cute eyes. And a cute nose. And cute, ears, God, you’ve got cute ears.” Sehun fights down the wave of giggles that threatens to resurface and continues to listen.

“I’ve liked you for a really long time, so maybe, uh…” Baekhyun laughs self-consciously and scratches behind his ear. “I’d like to be your boyfriend. Or at least your date for a while. We can go get bubble tea, or we can go to the arcade! Whatever you’d like.”

And that last bit feels so real that Sehun’s heart clenches, and he’s about to reply, say yes, we can go wherever you want, but Baekhyun sits back (had they really been that close?) and smiles.

“How was it?”

Sehun’s bubble pops and he’s brought back to reality. It was pretend. Of course. Baekhyun was practicing for the guy that he actually likes.

“It was good,” Sehun replies, throat dry. (I like you.) “He’ll definitely say yes.” (I’ll say yes too, ask me now, don’t ask him)

Baekhyun smiles again, pleased, and closes his eyes. “Hopefully it goes right.”

“Hopefully,” Sehun echoes, hollowly.

-

Sehun is seventeen and Baekhyun is nineteen when he can tell that something is wrong.

“Alright,” Sehun says, shutting his bedroom door. “What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun asks, and Sehun is taken aback by how much older Baekhyun looks. Despite Baekhyun’s constant whines over Skype and text about how “you’re getting so much taller than me!” there really is no doubt who’s the older one. He hasn’t been gone long, only one year at university, but the differences are there. The way he carries himself, the way he dresses, it’s all changed. More than that though, he doesn’t look as happy. His smile doesn’t make his eyes turn up at the corners and his hands always fidget with the hems of his clothes. Something’s off about him, like Sehun’s viewing him underneath a different lens.

“Is everything okay?” Sehun asks.

“Yes,” Baekhyun sighs, running a hand through his (recently dyed) hair. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine. School is fine, Chanyeol’s fine, my family’s fine, I’m fine.” His voice quivers at the end, just slightly, and something inside Sehun breaks a little bit.

“You don’t need to pretend,” Sehun says. He steps a bit closer to Baekhyun and pries his fingers away from where they’re bunching up nervously in his t-shirt. “Not with me.”

Baekhyun looks at him for a second before the dam breaks.

Sehun’s got a body pressed against his and a face buried into his shoulder before he can even blink. The next thing he realizes, the next awful thing, is that Baekhyun is shaking, wracking violently with sobs that sound so full of pain that it tears Sehun apart just to hear them, just to be close enough to feel the reverberations.

“Chanyeol left me,” Baekhyun sobs into his shoulder. “I don’t – I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without him.”

“Does anyone know?” Sehun asks slowly.

“No,” Baekhyun chokes. “I can’t bring myself to say anything. Everyone thought we were going to get married-” He’s cut off by another round of sobs. Sehun brings him in closer and listens to Baekhyun pour the shards of his broken heart onto his shoulder.

They fall asleep hours later in a similar way: curled up underneath Sehun’s sheets and each other, Baekhyun’s face pressed into the crook of Sehun’s neck.

Sehun wraps an arm over Baekhyun’s exhausted form right before sleep overtakes him. I’ll never let anyone hurt you like that ever again.

-

Sehun is twenty and Baekhyun is twenty-two when everything finally clicks together.

Don’t be late! Baekhyun had texted him. Sehun stands in the back of the café, sipping at his drink absentmindedly. He’s excited for this, but then again, he’s always excited when it’s Baekhyun.

The minutes tick by agonizingly until finally, finally, Sehun spots Baekhyun walking up to the microphone. He watches him clear his throat and smile shyly at the small crowd that has gathered.

“Hello, I am Baekhyun,” he says. “I hope you enjoy today’s performance.”

And God, Sehun’s heard Baekhyun sing before. In the shower, in the car, along with cartoon theme songs, but never like this. There’s so much emotion in his voice that it’s overflowing, seeping into the room and settling into Sehun’s bones. And maybe it’s the coffee, maybe it’s Baekhyun’s voice, maybe it’s the pride and repressed feelings that just may be love, but Sehun feels warm. He feels warm and fuzzy and happy as Baekhyun makes eye contact with him while he sings and smiles, his voice sounding impossibly richer.

Sehun doesn’t even spend thirty seconds considering his next action.

He’s halfway to the mic when Baekhyun finishes his last note with a proud smile on his face. He’s there by the time everyone in the café is clapping. Baekhyun gives him a questioning gaze when he pulls him close.

“You did well,” Sehun whispers.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun replies, and then they’re kissing in front of everyone, and it’s not how Sehun imagined his first kiss would Baekhyun would go but it’s just as sweet and warm and Baekhyun giggles a little bit against his lips when the applause gets louder (Sehun wants to swallow that sound up until it burns him from the inside out).

“About time,” Baekhyun breathes when they finally part.

“What?” Sehun replies, dumbly.

Baekhyun just rolls his eyes and kisses him again.

--

They haven’t always been in love but they’ve always loved each other.

This is how Baekhyun describes it to him as they lay in bed together, the covers tucked over their heads.

“Of course I was in love with Chanyeol,” Baekhyun hums, pressing Sehun’s knuckles against his lips. “I can’t deny that no matter how hard I try. But I’ve always loved you. It’s always been you. It’s just that somewhere along the way, it went from brother love to I-want-to-kiss-you-a-lot love.”

“I already know this,” Sehun says.

“I know. I just feel like remembering it every so often.” Baekhyun sighs and snuggles in closer while he continues his story. “It was while I was at college. I couldn’t come home for a while and all I could think about was you and how much I wanted to kiss you.”

“You’re gross,” Sehun scoffs.

“You’re grosser!” Baekhyun retorts. “Your whole proposal was so mushy. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Sehun runs his fingers over Baekhyun’s engagement ring. “Jongin helped.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Whatever. You love me.”

“Maybe.”

“You love me and I love you, my little baby bird,” Baekhyun coos, planting a kiss on Sehun’s cheek.

“That’s gross, don’t call me that.”

“You love it!”

“I don’t call you gross names!”

“That’s because you don’t want to! I personally would love-”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”

“Sehun! That’s no way to talk to your husband!”

“Future husband.”

“I’m going to return this ring if you don’t give me a kiss right now.”

“Fine, fine, such a drama queen.”

Sehun is twenty-five and Baekhyun is twenty-seven. They have an apartment together. Sehun works in the office building fifteen minutes away and Baekhyun is a music teacher who sings in local venues on the side. Their dogs Vivi and Mongryoung are the best of friends. They post pictures on Instagram of each other. They play rock-paper-scissors to divide jobs on cleaning days. They have narrowly avoided burning their kitchen down six times. They take walks in the park and have dates to the aquarium and stay up all night in blanket forts they make watching movies and snacking on junk food. They’re getting married next spring.

They’re happy and so, so, so ridiculously in love.

blog | ask/request | request guidelines | info | my main blog

🎧: Bloom - Troye Sivan

[itbethatwaysometime]

Uncharted - Chapter 3

Warnings: Nothing in particular

Word Count: about 2.4k

A\N: Hey guys! I’m back with a new one :) This is definitely a filler chapter. The plot doesn’t really move forward, but there’s a lot of details and descriptions of your surroundings. I really want you guys to have an image in your head, since i am quite visual. I am currently working on a few things so stay tuned !

Part One

https://myfandomsbeatcancersass.tumblr.com/post/164836616473/uncharted-chapter-1

Part Two

https://myfandomsbeatcancersass.tumblr.com/post/164981543348/uncharted-part-2

The floor was made out of grey tiles that glinted in the iridescent moonlight, the walls were white and gorgeous light fixtures were emanating a soft glow. You entered a wide hallway that opened up to a kitchen and a living room to the side. The kitchen itself left you speechless. The counters were dark grey granite with cabinets a sleek cold light grey colour. Appliances lined the far wall with beautiful ovens and stoves, a built-in microwave and a fridge that could store enough food for a restaurant. There was an island with a sink and a dishwasher, a wine cellar, a mini-fridge and so many drawers with what you could only guess was every single culinary gadget on the face of the planet. Bar stools lined the exterior side of the island and a modern french mahogany dining table stood to the left. You felt like a kid on Christmas day. You turned to your right and found the living room. An enormous L shaped couch that probably costed a fortune was placed in front of a giant flat screen TV with an over the top sound system that was placed strategically around the room to have a certain in-theatre feel. “This is absolutely crazy.” you huff to yourself. This entire apartment screams rich, but that’s one of the things you get when you live with a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. You make your way out of the living room and into the bedro— Holy shit THis iS nOt a bedROOM. This ‘bedroom’ is twice the size of your old apartment. The window at the far end of the room was ceiling height and lined the entire wall. The bed was a king sized with crisp white expensive silk and a mountain of well placed pillows. A fireplace was placed off to the side lighting up the room in a warm glow. It looked thoroughly inviting but you weren’t done exploring the premises. To the far end of the bedroom there was a beautiful glass desk with a chrome chair. On the desk there was a Macbook and an Ipad. Was he nuts? You had just moved in and your net worth just went up a couple thousand dollars. There’s a door about ten feet to the left of the bed, one that you could only assume was the closet. You opened it and it was just… wow. It wasn’t just the grandness of it all, it was the sheer elegance of it. It was a long corridor with cabinets and closets lining each side. The materiel was a warm toned brown that was sleek. Each storage compartment seemed to have it’s own purpose. I don’t even have enough clothes to fill one of these! The closet opened to the bathroom and that really just blew your mind. The floor was an immaculate white. Straight in front of you was a bath large enough for more than one person. (A/N: obvious foreshadowing for something in the future) You turned to your left and there was a counter that reached from wall to wall. Large mirror panels were placed right over the sink that had a faucet made out of a circular piece of glass and a lever to turn it on and off.  On the counter was numerous beauty products that were probably way too expensive, cotton pads, q-tips etc. The shower to the right was a cubicle made purely out of glass and the hose was a spotless chrome stainless steel with beige tiles that lined the floor. This really was over the top. You walk back to the kitchen, dropping your bag next to your bed, you’ll get back to that later. Ah, yes, the kitchen. Probably your favourite part in every house. You could make things, bake things, cook things. You opened the enormous fridge and see it empty except for a couple of water bottles and sodas. You’ll have to go to the grocery store. Again. The last time you got a bit interrupted. Miss (y/n), may I suggest I order some groceries for you. I can have them delivered in an hour, F.R.I.D.A.Y says. You jump at the sudden intrusion, almost hitting your head on the shelf. “Um, yes, thank you?” you respond, not sure how long it’ll take to get used to speaking to nothing. She was an artificial intelligence, but it still was very… different. You started listing items that you’d like to have in your fridge and pantry. It took you a good half hour seeing as you have ten times more storage than you had before. And then, you realized something, how the hell are you supposed to pay for all of this. You walk over to your jacket and pull out your wallet. You see the pathetic couple of five dollar bills and coins, including a credit card you didn’t dare use unless an emergency was to occur. No one wanted debts. You sigh. Miss (y/n), Tony left a message for you, he says,: “Hey kiddo, I bet right now you’re thinking about the whole money thing. Haven’t you noticed who you’re staying with baby cakes? I’m Tony Stark, go crazy, I don’t mind. Have fun, kid.” “F.R.I.D.A.Y, could you help me get to Tony’s lab?” You asked ‘the air’, this is so weird. Of course, Miss (y/n), follow the illuminated arrows on the floor, they will lead you to his lab. I am afraid Tony might be a little busy, so give him some time, she responds. Alrighty, then. You walk out of your apartment, taking your phone and your keycard. (a freaking keycard). Soft white lights shaped in arrows start showing up on the floors, you follow them and find yourself in front of the elevator once again. You slide in wondering what to do now. The number 62 illuminates and the contraptions started moving up. I’m glad I didn’t have to guess that, imagine if you ended up on Clint’s floor, or Sam’s? You pinch your nose imagining the embarrassment. Before you know it, a familiar mechanical ding echoes in the metal box. You exit, following the arrows until they just disappear. You look around, black tiles following the expanse of the room. You see a large staircase surrounded by glass fixtures. You walk towards it and open the surprisingly light glass door. You walked up the beige granite stairs holding onto the metal rail, the walls were surrounded by beautiful paintings that you mentally reminded yourself to ask about later. Once you hit the top, you walked through two glass sliding doors to be greeted with quite a sight. Four large and long tables surrounded one main square table. The entire lab was littered with metal contraptions, advanced machines, a considerable amount of blueprints and a metal arm that seemed to be moving at it’s own free will. To your right, there was another lab, from the outside, looked pristine clean. Inside there was Bruce who looked extremely concentrated on whatever formula he was inspecting under the microscope. You turned your attention back towards Tony who was… well, gently put, a mess. Streaks of grease were on his face, his arms and his clothes. He was wearing a dark grey tank top with a pair of comfortable looking pants. Sweat dripped off his forehead and his neck was glistening. “Dum-E, I swear to God, if you break the blender again I’m going to sell you to the local science fair.” he says pointing at the mechanic arm that was just quietly waving around. He looks up. “Oh, hey kid, what’s got you up at this hour?” Obviously surprised to see you here. You can tell he’s starting to treat you more as a daughter, but you didn’t mind. You never really had a father figure in your life. Your biological dad died when you were really young, you loved him with everything you had.. (Also, note the fact that it’s not even midnight yet and he’s acting as if you had a curfew on your first day here) “Uh, ya. F.R.I.D.A.Y suggested that I fill up my pantry, and I saw the total,” He looks at you with his arms crossed,” and I know you left me a message, but I just wanted to make sure it was ok? Since I am new and stuff, I didn’t want to look like I was taking advantage of you, or the Avengers in general…” you trail off and reddening realizing that you were rambling. Great, you’ve made a fool of yourself. “(Y/n), come sit here for a second.” He pats a small chair beside him. You hesitantly pace your way behind the desks and onto the chair he pulled up. You were now surrounded by incredibly advanced equipment and you were scared to move because you didn’t want to knock anything over. “It’s ok, you can take a look.” he says kindly from behind you. You turn your head around, with your brows furrowed. Is he serious? “Ya, go ahead.” Tony’s POV God, her brows were scrunched up in the most adorable way. He honestly couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. He’d never, ever let anyone in his lab, unless it was Bruce or Pepper, or there was some incredible rare, unfortunate, life-threatening situation. Then, he would maybe let them in. This was his private play-ground, he knew what the majority of these things did, well, he knew enough, sometimes things don’t always tend to go as planned. His gaze turns towards (y/n) once again. Her wide (e/c) eyes roaming over every inch of the tables, her hands itching to touch something, but remaining firmly by her sides. He could see the curiosity ooze out of her, finally, someone who understands. (Except for Bruce) Someone who understands the burning need to know more, see more and learn more. Her gaze hungrily eating up all this new information, it’s quite amazing to watch. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, would you kindly Vac U Form a digital wire frame, I want her to have a manipulatable projection.” He told the AI. She tears her gaze from the arc reactor prototype and turns to him. A blue light scans over all five tables and lifts up into the air, showing an exact replica of everything that was on display. “Woah” She gasps, that was cute too. “Can I?” She asks pointing at the floating blueprint. He nods his consent. She waves her hand around and makes it turn, pinches her fingers together to minimize it and flings her arms wide open to zoom in. She starts giggling, like actually giggling, like a schoolgirl in kindergarten who just sold girl scout cookies for the first time. “This is SO cool.” She zooms into one thing in particular, the new arc reactor prototype. “Is that the thing in your chest?” she asks bluntly. She pauses, and then covers her mouth realizing how blunt she was. “Oh my, I’m sorry Mr.Stark, I didn’t mean to say it like that, I read about it in the papers and I may or may not have hacked into your mainframe and found some plans. Wait- I’m not supposed to tell you that.” She stares at him with wide eyes. He just starts laughing, an honest chortle rumbles his chest. God, it’s been a long time since he's laughed like that. “God, that’s funny, and cute. Hahahaha, I can’t believe this,” he keeps laughing, he’s not sure if she’s terrified, but she certainly looks like it. “HEY, BRuce! She hacked into F.R.I.D.A.Y and she doesn’t speak to me like I’m a ticking time bomb, I think she’s a keeper.” He shouts towards the other side of the lab. Bruce just looks at him unimpressed, but with a small smile on his face. “Ok, first of all, stop calling Mr. Stark, that was my dad. Call me Tony,” she nods furiously,” and second of all, do you see all of this?,” he opens his arms wide, “this costs more money then you can imagine, so what I’m trying to say is, go crazy. I don’t care. Spend a thousand dollars on food, go ahead.”. And.. Wait a minute. How did you hack into F.R.I.D.A.Y?” Your POV I mean at this point you could start crying. You were never rich, you’ve been poor before, you know what it feels like to be hungry, thus your appreciation for cooking. “Thank you.” Was all you said. He smiles sweetly at you and pulls you into a hug. At first you aren’t sure what to do, but slowly you relax into his embrace. He pushes you away and holds you in front of him at arms length, starring at your shirt. “So you like AC/DC and Black Sabbath?” An infectious grin spreads across his face as you nod vigorously. You ask F.R.I.D.A.Y to go through with your grocery list. For the next two hours, all you do is listen to music, occasionally go full on karaoke, have Tony discover your singing ‘talent’, (as he likes to call it) and discuss some science stuff. He kindly walks you back to your apartment at around one in the morning and apologizes for keeping you up. How sweet of him? You never thought he could be so nice, most rumours involving him depict him as a rude, arrogant and incredibly egotistical person. Maybe he was, just not with you. The groceries were neatly organized in your kitchen, by who? It didn’t matter, you were too tired to care. You fell swiftly onto the crazy soft bed and succumbed to sleep like candles being blown out on a birthday cake. 

---------------

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