#one day we're gonna be called out by the generations to come and we're gonna have to justify the shit we did 2020-2023

[zepskies]

And I'm SO happy you're back, my lovely Wayne!! Of course, you decide to spoil me with this review the minute you dip back into this hellsite. 😘

(yesss, and don't think I didn't see that chapter you dropped of Polaris! When I get back from my vacay I will be diving into that. I need to know what happens next with our favorite cowboy sheriff 🤠)

I'm very glad and grateful you made the time to start ESC! I had so much fun figuring out Russell Shaw and the Tracker cast -- especially with all them Deanisms. 😏

Diving into the rest of your awesome comments below!! 💕

First of, Professor Goldstein is a piece of work... 😒 I wouldn't blame her for spitting into his coffee every time he calls her sweetheart. But Russell, I see you. She's gonna be so annoyed with him 😂

Oh he's a piece of something, all right. 🙄 She could def pull a Rachel on his ass. And Russell...lmao, you already saw where he's heading with this. 😂

Ooooh, another professor character paired with some rugged Mountain Man 😏 I'm addicted to those couples. She's all business up front, and he's all party in the back (seat of his Chevelle) 🤪

LOLL the way it didn't even occur to me when I was writing this (at first) that I was writing another professor paired with a law enforcement (sort of, in Russell's case), man of action type, like in Take Me Home with Beau Arlen. 😝 I came at it with the thought of, "what if she was Dory's best friend, and they worked together at the university?" I must have a thing for writing nerds who get the rugged, sexy Mountain Man. Not at all fulfilling a personal fantasy.

UGH. The nerve!!!!! Massage therapist????? How about I step on your back with my high heels, bro... And then to go on about his trip and parasailing... Guess it's true. Ignorant people are happier 😂

Fuck YES, I'd be high-stepping up and down his spine fr. 🤣 Ignorance is bliss, I guess? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Or why are campuses so big in general? My university actually had several faculties strewn throughout the city. Sometimes it took an hour and several subway rides to get to your next lecture 😅

Oooh my God, now THAT's crazy! A whole subway ride(s)?? I've worked/gone to school on some big campuses, but that takes the cake. I guess you get your daily workout one way or another lol!

Please tell me Russell's in the room when she said that 😄🤞

Big YEP lmfaoo, and he likes her already because of it. 😂

Ooooh, right! I wonder how much she knows about the Shaws. Not something that comes casually up in the cafetaria I imagine 😅

No it would not, lmfao! But that is something that will be explored (how much she knows) in the chapters to come, for sure!

Love this whole exchange. You're making my dreams come true, babe 😘

Ahaha I had to do the little callback to sriracha fries (and figure out how tf to spell sriracha, first of all. 😂)

I keep thinking he probably has that look now because he was in the army for so long. Young Russell was pretty much young Dean Winchester in a uniform (hello there, soldier 😏)

Ooh that's SUCH a good point (and yumm). It's making me hope that we get a flashback of Russell in his military days someday in Tracker.

Well... It's a toss-up, I'd say 😆

Oh, very much a toss up/personal preference there lmao. I've loved Justin Hartley since his Smallville days as Green Arrow. 😆 But in this case, I felt like Russell would try to claim top billing there loll.

In. His. Car 🚩🚩🚩😂 If any strange man said that to you... 🚩🤣

Honestly, it's amazing how many red flags you ignore when someone's charming and handsome. 🤣🤣🤣

Well, at least, Colter has an Airstream 😅🤷‍♀️

Ha!! True, it's beating out Russell's crusty motel of the week by far, I'd say.

He is a professional flirt. Kind eyes...

Oh don't worry, we're getting to that callback. 😏

Dear God, he does not stop, does he? 😆 (On the show, I loved his persistence with Reenie too, even though it was mainly just to annoy Colter. But you captured him beautifully here with this sort of charm 🥰) PS: schmutz, schlep... I love the sprinkles of Yiddish in this 🤓

In fact, he does not! lmfao That was what I loved about it too -- like maybe half of him is serious, and the other half just wants to needle Colter. 🤣

Aw I'm glad you caught that! lol I'm not Jewish, but for some reason it just felt right for these characters. 💜

STOP IT! And he upgraded too!!! 🤣

He absolutely did!! And this time, it actually worked! 🤣🤣

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS! Gah, this was fabulous! I'm hooked! 😍👏 Are they gonna stay casual? Something about her brooding and reluctance tells me it's not usually her style? Which means, will he eventually settle? Get out of the dangerous hitman-nomad life?

Ooh my goodness, I'm so glad to hear that, friend! You're right. I don't think I full on state it, but "casual" is typically not her style. Also, Russell is Dory's brother, so she doesn't want there to be any weirdness or awkwardness between them if something happened or fell out between the reader and Russell.

She already knows his relationship with Dory is kind of fragile, in that they're still in that "reconnecting" phase. You'll see more of that dynamic and her thoughts in Part 2, but the rest of your questions will most definitely be explored throughout this little series. 😏

And then there's the stories about their respective families. We already know some about Russell's. How is she gonna react if she learns everything? And there's something odd about her private life as well. Can't wait to dive into that bombshell 😂

There's a lot to unpack there, right? There's a great deal that she already knows through Dory, and some things that are going to be revealed along the way...

Zep, my sweet genius Alex, you've outdone yourself once again. Bravo!!! 👏👏👏

You make me blush!! Thank you so much. 😭🥰 If you like this chapter, then I think you're going to enjoy the rest of the series. I hope it's as fun for you to read as it was for me to write!! 💕💕

A Line and a Half

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: When Dory’s eldest brother comes to visit her at Wyoming University, you don’t know quite what to make of Russell Shaw. But he knows exactly what he wants to make of you.

AN: Okay, here’s my first toe-dip into the world of Tracker with Russell Shaw! 1x12 gave me too many ideas not to explore this intriguing character. This is set before episode 12, but I have a little series I want to sketch out that will continue after this one-shot, so think of this as a “Part 1,” if you will. 😉

Word Count: 3.2K

Tags/Warnings: A kind of “meet cute,” attempts at flirting, and hints of setup for more to come…

You watched, silently simmering, as Dr. Goldstein added yet another packet of internship applications from his graduate students onto your desk.

Applicants that he, as the History Department Chairman, was supposed to review himself. Instead, he’d been adding these hours quite literally onto your desk. 

“If you could review these for me as well, sweetheart. Thank you,” he said. “Get ‘em back to me by Thursday, okay?”

As a Professor of History with two doctorates in your name, you once again grated internally at sweetheart, but you tried to keep that cringe off your face as well.

Goldstein barely even met your eyes when he dropped off his burden, and then aimed to leave your office.

“Uh, Paul,” you called out, raising a finger. You stood from your desk as quickly as you could in your pencil skirt, but the man was already out the door. You followed him out, your heels clacking on the tile floor. 

Damn it. Knew I should’ve gone with pants, you said, continuing to hasten after your boss.

“Paul! Just a second,” you said. That finally managed to turn the man’s head off of his phone. He glanced at you while checking his watch.

“About the internship applications…and your midterm exam essays for that matter. Don’t you think—” you started to say, but the man spoke over you.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to run. Meeting my massage therapist at noon,” he said, and rolled a seemingly stiff shoulder under his tailored blazer. “Something’s just not right here after my trip to Cali last weekend. I don’t know what I did, pulled muscle or something. But hey, they do say parasailing is a sport.”

You quirked a brow. “Do they?”

You weren’t sure that being strapped into a parachute for a nice air glide over the Pacific counted as a sport.

Goldstein shrugged at your question and he kept walking down the hall. Though he turned back to toss you a pointed finger.

“Need those by Thursday. Thanks, you’re the best,” he said.

You watched him go, as proverbial steam began to escape through your ears. Slowly you pivoted on your heels, and you went back to your office. You grimaced at the large stack of applications. You were pretty sure he padded them with an extra section of midterm exams.

Tapping your nails on your desk, you grabbed your phone next to your desktop and checked the time. 11:30 a.m.

Screw it. I’m going to lunch, you thought.

Dory had to be out of her Intro Physics class by now, which meant she’d be in her office, ready for you to drop in on her a little early. You took up your purse and almost made it out the door…but at the last moment, your anal brain made you turn back to grab a shoulder bag and the pile of applications. Maybe you could knock out a few during lunch.

Friggin’ doormat, as your brother would say. Laughing at you, probably.

You rolled your eyes and headed back out the door with your haul of papers, purse, work bag, and keys, locking your office behind you.

Why, oh why did the Sciences building have to be on the other side of campus?

It was damn near a mile walk from your Humanities building over to Dory’s office on the second floor. Your hands were laden with packets that couldn’t be contained by your heavy work bag, your purse was slipping off your shoulder, and these heels were killing your feet.

It was a miracle you and Dory had ever met on this campus. On your first day of teaching, you’d of course been hopelessly lost. Somehow you ended up at the tail-end of one of her classes in one of the science auditoriums.

She’d been gracious enough to help you, and even walked you all the way to the Humanities building so you could find your World History class before the students decided to just get up and leave. (And after fifteen minutes, they very well would.)

That day, she became your first real friend at Wyoming University. In the three years since, she’d become your best friend.

And now, her door was mercifully open halfway. You pushed it open and stumbled just a little from the transition of tile to carpet inside her office. Your papers nearly flew from your hands, so you struggled to right yourself and contain them all back into the semblance of neatness.

“Hey, girl. You better be ready for lunch because Jesus fucking Christ. Goldstein’s up my ass again and all I’ve had today is a crusty donut from the teacher’s lounge, which I’m pretty sure was stale,” you said, with your brows furrowed in frustration.

When you finally looked up from your struggles, you realized that Dory wasn’t alone. She smiled at you in amusement, sitting at her desk beside a man who made you pause. Your eyes widened.

He was leaning casually with an elbow propped up on her desk, dressed in jeans and a worn, pale green jacket—a good match for his eyes. He looked a little rugged for Dory’s tastes, but you couldn’t fault her, with the cut of that bearded jaw, and the smile raising the corners of his lips.

“Hey,” Dory laughed. “I see you’re having a good day.”

You bit your lip in embarrassment, probably smudging your lipstick.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve knocked first,” you said, though you could see she seemed to be having an actual good day. Office picnic? Or maybe the handsome stranger was getting ready to take her out.

Dory just waved you in. She stood and set a hand on her companion’s shoulder, and he got up along with her.

“It’s okay. This is my brother, Russell,” she said, and she introduced you in kind.

“Well, hi there,” he said. He subtly took you in with his eyes as he held out his hand. Already you felt your face heating up with more than just embarrassment.

You were a bit shocked as well, to say the least. Dory had told you some…interesting things about her family, including the fact that she had two older brothers. You wondered which one this was, the middle child, or the eldest.

“Hi! Sorry. Again. Nice to meet you,” you said. You tried to hold your hand out to reach his, but a few papers began to spill out. You clutched at them on reflex, but Russell drew in quickly to help you.

“Got yourself a load there,” he said. You agreed with an awkward laugh and a shrug of your shoulders.

“My boss’s idea of extra credit,” you said wryly.

“You can set it down on that chair over there,” Dory said, pointing to one against the back wall, next to a tall filing cabinet.

You and Russell meandered over and managed to set down the stack without casualty. You were able to pull up the straps of your bag and your purse from falling off your shoulder and give him a grateful look.

“Thanks,” you said.

“No problem,” he said, giving you an easy smile back. “I actually crashed in unannounced, so if you two wanna to head to lunch, you go right ahead.”

“Uh, no. I haven’t seen you in months! You should come with us,” Dory said. She grabbed her purse to join you and Russell by the door.

You raised your hands in placation. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other. You guys should catch up.”

Dory shook her head and grabbed your hand.

“Uh, uh. I want to hear the latest on Paul’s bullshit, and why you’re carrying half your office across campus. Let’s go,” she said, and gestured at your work bag. “Leave that here. You’re gonna eat and talk to me. No working involved.”

You laughed, but you agreed to her cajoling. With another glance at her brother, and those green eyes that seemed to be dancing, you joined them for lunch.

The three of you ended up at a diner that you and Dory frequented at least once a week. The food was good, the service was quick, and it was close to campus. Wins all around. Russell seemed to be enjoying himself, as he hummed in delight after the very first bite of his Philly cheesesteak.

“Sriracha on fries, huh?” you remarked, gesturing at the man’s plate. Your brow was quirked, but he shot you a smile.

“I said avert your eyes,” he teased. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, sweetheart.”

Ugh. Another sweethearting man. You narrowed your own eyes at him a bit. He caught the look and raised a hand in defense (the one that wasn’t holding his cheesesteak).

“Uh oh. What’d I do?” he asked.

“You gave her some PTSD,” Dory said with a laugh. “Dr. Goldstein likes to sugar coat his demands with sexism.”

Russell noted your souring look with apology. You’d just finished recounting your morning for your friend, and recapping years of “sugar-coated demands” for Russell.

“Why don’t you just tell him to cram it up his…uh…” he paused. Seeing his little sister’s look of amusement, he amended. “Or you know, stuff it.”

A smile twitched at your lips. “Oh, believe me, I’d love to tell him to stuff it. But he’s technically my boss, and the department chair. Even though I’ve basically been doing his job for two years now.”

“Well, that sucks,” Russell said. “And I feel for ya. I’ve had my share of shitty bosses in my time.”

You sighed and accepted his commiseration with a nod.

It wasn’t fair, but Goldstein planned to retire early in a few years. Must be nice.

When he did, it would make you the most likely candidate to replace him as department chair. The way you saw it, this was giving you plenty of practice before you (hopefully) inherited the position.

Anyway, you shook your head. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were more curious about one Russell Shaw. You now knew he was an army vet, and he carried himself like one. Calm, controlled, even though his smiles came easy. His tousled hair and beard, while well-trimmed and neat, still gave him a roguish quality.

“So let me guess. You’re…the eldest?” you asked. You blotted at your mouth with a napkin, having finished your chicken panini.

Russell treated you to another one of those smiles, though this one held a hint of more.

“Guilty. Though I’m the handsome one,” he said with a wink.

You found yourself smiling behind your napkin.

“I’m sure,” you replied.

Dory rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind him. Apparently my brother’s an incorrigible flirt.”

He chuckled and sipped at his beer, but then he grimaced.

“Ech. Friggin’ weak,” he said. “I brew better than this outta the trunk of my car.”

 You raised a brow at that. “You make your own beer?”

“Damn straight,” he said. His gaze turned a hint more playful. “Next time I’ll bring you some. You can tell me what you think.”

You shared a telling look with Dory.

“Next time, huh?” you asked.

“Sure,” he inclined his head. “I pop into town from time to time. Gotta check in and pester my little sister, the physics professor.” 

He laid a hand on Dory’s shoulder, squeezing warmly. You could see the pride in his eyes, and it warmed you as well.

She turned to him with a smile, reaching up to cover his hand with hers.

“You don’t pester me. I’d love it if I got to see you more often,” she said.

“Ah, I know, I’m sorry,” he said, releasing her. “My job’s got me all over the place. But I’ll be here for a week or so on this gig.”

That intrigued you. “What do you do for work?”

“Ah, well, you could say I'm a contractor. Private security mainly,” said Russell. His shoulders shifted as he became a little more guarded, you noticed. “My company connects me with the client for as long as the job lasts. Could be a few months, sometimes a few days, depending.”

“Oh, wow. Do you live here in Wyoming?” you asked. He paused, but tilted his head a little, back and forth as he considered your question.

“I kinda bounce around,” he said. “Just go from one job to the next. Sounds a bit unorthodox, I know, but it’s a living.”

“Interesting,” you nodded, but inside, you thought that sounded like a hard way to live.

Unstable…and lonely. 

“You know, it’s amazing how much you and Colter have in common,” Dory said. She folded her hands on the table and met her brother with a pointed look.

He huffed in response, though he glanced at you, then back at his sister. As if he was saying, You really want to do this now?

Dory had told you before that Colter was a “rewardist,” or some kind of bounty hunter. The nature of his work kept him busy, and seemingly too busy for his sister. But you also sensed there was an edgier history here.

For the first time, you felt like you were intruding in a moment between brother and sister that went beyond words.

After a moment, Russell shook his head.

“Look, I tried with him, all right? He won’t talk to me,” he said. He went back to eating, polishing off his fries. He offered you one that was half-smothered in sriracha.

“Come on. Live on the edge with me,” he teased.

You eyed the sauce-covered fry in distaste, but after glancing up at his more playful smile, you accepted his offer. You chewed in contemplation, and found that the tangy hint of kick wasn’t so bad. 

“Eh? Eeeh? Delicious, am I right?” he said, his hands going wide.

You rolled your eyes, but you nodded in agreement.

“It’s all right,” you replied.

“Yes!” Russell’s hands swept up higher, like he was celebrating a touchdown. "See, I told ya."

You couldn’t help but laugh. Dory shook her head fondly and gave him a clean napkin for the bit of schmutz she spotted at the corner of his mouth.

“Here, wipe your sriracha face.”

“You really don’t have to,” you said, as Russell helped you gather your stack of papers and slung your work bag over his shoulder.

“No, no. I’m a bonafide gentleman. Ain’t that right, D?” he asked his sister. She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes again, but she did give you a knowing smile.

“Oh, his intentions are pure,” she said.

 And by that, you both understood her meaning. His intentions couldn’t be any clearer than a mallet over the head, but you kind of found it endearing.

This man really carried your stuff from the Sciences building across the entire campus to your office. All the while, he asked you about how you and Dory met, the kinds of things you two did together, and if you thought she was happy working here.

You had a feeling he was trying to learn more about his sister’s life. On one hand, it was rather sweet. On the other, it made you realize that there was distance in this family, both literal and figurative. You were glad to hear that Russell, at least, was trying to bridge that gap with his sister. Dory deserved to have more of that in her life.

As you explained to Russell while you led him down the hall to your office, your friendship with her had just…clicked. From the very beginning.

“Dory, you know. She’s more than kind,” you said. “She’s a real one. I can rely on her, even when I can’t rely on my own family.”

Russell hummed at that. “That sounds like a story.”

“Yeah,” you said, glancing away for a moment. You smiled and met his gaze once more. “Maybe one for another time.”

“So you’re on board with a ‘next time.’ Good to know,” Russell remarked. Your smile deepened.

It was good timing when you two finally reached your office. You unlocked it and let him inside, so he could set down your bag, and the god-forsaken stack of internship applications back onto your desk. You’d probably be stuck here working late on those.

“Well, thank you so much. You really didn’t have to schlep for me,” you said.

When you turned, Russell was a bit close. Not uncomfortably so, but enough to make a trill of something zip up your spine. You smelled more intensely his cologne, woodsy and warm. Looking up at him, you once again found his smile.

“It’s no problem,” he said, but his eyes met yours for a moment, as if he lost his train of thought.

“What?” you asked, a bit nervous.

“Anybody ever tell you, you got soulful eyes?” he asked.

It took your brain a second or two to compute, but when his words registered, you had to laugh. You held it behind your hand, while the other went to steady yourself on your desk.

 “Well, that’s a line if I’ve ever heard one,” you said, shading your “soulful” eyes with a hand.

You didn’t know it, but Russell’s face warmed in slight embarrassment. He recovered though, taking in your pretty laugh, and the shade of your hair, let loose around your shoulders, and yes, your eyes, when you let him see them again.

If he hadn’t known before, now he was convinced.

He wanted to see more of you before he left town.

“Hey, now that was 100% genuine,” Russell said, but his grin spoke volumes. When your mirth died down, he scratched the back of his head.

“Okay, cards on the table. Would you be interested in grabbing a drink with me sometime?” he asked.

You took in a breath at that. You actually did consider his offer, because homebrew and sriracha fries be damned, there was something more to him. It was lying in wait, behind those eyes that were drawing you in.

However, this was also a man whose job basically made him a nomad. It didn’t exactly scream relationship material.

Which only left the alternative: something…casual.

You just didn’t know if that alternative was such a good idea. Not with your best friend’s brother.

“Just a drink. No frills, no more grilling you about my sister,” Russell said, breaking you from your deliberation. He gestured a hand between the two of you. “Just this. You and me.”

Eventually, you sighed. Your lips raised into a more genuine smile.

“Sometime, huh?” you asked.

He smiled back. “Tonight?”

You hesitated, but despite your better judgment, you nodded before you could change your mind. You still weren’t sure what to make of this guy, but you were willing to find out.

“Sure,” you said. “Howley’s at eight?”

“Well, all right,” Russell said.

He surprised you by sweeping up your hand into his. You looked up at him, curious, but not wary. Anticipation tingled down your spine.

He pressed his lips to the back of your hand. Soft shock made your eyes widen as you blushed, feeling the subtle graze of his beard against your skin.

Who is this guy, Cary Grant? you thought.

But when he pulled away, you had to remind yourself to breathe. Again, you caught sight of his cheeky grin.   

“See you tonight,” he said.

AN: He is beauty he is grace, he is Mr. Sriracha Face. 😆

Let me know if you guys liked this! 💜 It's my first time writing a character based solely on one episode, but next up is a series that will continue this one-shot. It's called Every Second Counts.

Next Time in Part 1:

“Are you absolutely sure?” you asked, with your hands on your hips. 

You wanted no miscommunication here, no read-between-the-lines mishaps, no subtext or nuance to bite you in the ass later. So here you stood in the middle of your best friend’s office, still on the Wyoming University campus after your last class.

Dory had to laugh at you. She pushed away from her desk and threw her hands up.

“Yes, for the love of God, you can grab a drink with my brother,” she said.

▶️ Keep Reading: Part 1

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Russell Shaw Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Russell S. Tag List:

@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007

@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373

@brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum

@waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady

@leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy

@kmc1989 @jackles010378 @emily-winchester @waynes-multiverse @jessjad

@my-stories-vault @deans-spinster-witch @syrma-sensei @stellasfictionalworld @ultimatecin73

@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @pieandmonsters @lhymer1995 @taehyungxjungkookistaekook @lovelystoriesaj

@nicksalchemy1 @spnwoman @onlyangel-444 @sexyvixen7 @illicithallways

@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato

[hella1975]

so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[femvaylin]

I'm so fucking sad about the A*tra Z*neca thing I'm actually crying. Like we KNEW about this all of this was ENTIRELY preventable but like MILLIONS of people have been harmed because somebody was too fucking proud to admit we were making a mistake this is fucking horrifying

[unhealthyvendetta]

ೃ⁀➷ HOW YOU THINK’S THE KIND OF THING I’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND

✧˚ · . overview. you break it off with gojo due to his carefree attitude and he's livid. part two

⇢ ˗ˏˋ caution. gojo x reader, no use of "y/n", angst, heartbreak, fem reader, eventual fluff, obsessed gojo, not proofread ࿐ྂ

wc: 1.3k

ׂ╰┈➤︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

"What the fuck?" Satoru muttered under his breath before springing up from his bed.

"Let's break up, it's better for the both of us. I know you're busy so I have to text it to you." Your text read. You decided to break up with your boyfriend due to his nonchalance and neglect.

Just as you placed your phone down, it started ringing. Who was it? I doubt it's your boyfriend ex.

Oh, but it is.

You felt a little anxious and declined the call, but just as you did, it rang again. What's with this guy? You reluctantly tapped the green button on your phone to Satoru looking at his phone with an upset expression. "Why?" Satoru asked.

"You don't even talk to me, why are you calling me?" You replied as you set up your phone to see him.

"So? I've been busy." Satoru replied.

"Busy doing what? Your location says you're currently at home and haven't left for a mission in a while." You replied with an annoyed expression, "What's the point of lying?"

"God, you're so controlling. Can you stop stalking me?" Satoru replied with sass.

"Do you even care about me? You never call but when I wanna break up you spam call me." You yelled at him. "If I didn't we wouldn't be together, stop being so insecure." Satoru shot back, "If I knew you were so needy I wouldn't have came up to you." He said.

His words hurt, deeply. You just sighed and hung up the phone, surprising Satoru, but he didn't call back.. which hurt even more.

See, Satoru.. he figured you'd come around eventually. He was gonna take you back and things would be normal, right? Wrong. You stopped showing up to his meetings, stopped showing up to the school, you could not be caught in Satoru's general area.

He was confused, was he really dumped? The strongest sorcerer? Dumped? It just sounded grammatically incorrect.

People started asking where you were and Satoru did not want to let the world know that he got dumped by a normal girl. He never told anyone you both broke up, keeping it a secret from everybody.

One day you went out in public and one of Satoru's student's came up to greet you, "Hey! How are you? Is Gojo helping you get better?" They asked, leaving you confused. "Gojo? Better? What do you mean?" You asked.

"Gojo told us you were sick and you weren't going to his events anymore," The student replied.

"Oh, really?" You replied, feeling furious.

Before the student could reply, you walked towards your apartment and called Satoru. He picked up immediately, "What? Aren't we broken up?" He asked with attitude.

"I thought so, but you've been going around telling people we're still together and I'm just sick. So you tell me," You replied as you unlocked your apartment door.

Satoru didn't reply, he was caught in a lie. "What did you want me to do? I can't tell people I was dumped by you, that's embarrassing." Satoru replied.

"What the fuck? Just pop out with another slut like you usually do," You scoffed. "You're jealous, I feel it." Satoru responded. "No, I'm annoyed. I don't want to be associated with you." You refuted. "Just last week you were complaining about how I never give you attention, don't complain now." Satoru scoffed.

"God, you're annoying. Stop telling everyone we're together, okay? That's all I want from you." You replied.

"Stop acting like you don't want me anymore, you were so needy and now you're all distant." Satoru quipped. "Well maybe you should've treated me like your girlfriend and not a fan girl that you have to tolerate." You snapped.

"Women are so complicated," Satoru groaned. "And men are so incompetent," You shot back before hanging up the phone. What the fuck was his problem?

You knew he was an ass, but this was a new type of ass.

Whatever, who needs him? You've been eying your colleague Nanami for the past week, and you might as well try and make a move, right? You knew he went to the local bakery on Fridays, so you decided to stop by to get his attention.

As expected Nanami was there, purchasing bread. You waited outside trying your hardest to look like you were actually doing something when you spot a certain white haired individual you unfortunately knew too well.

"Satoru? What the hell-" You started before Satoru cut you off with a kiss. God, you haven't been kissed by him in what felt like forever. You just wanted to- no, oh my God.. Nanami should be coming out the shop any second!

You pulled away reluctantly and saw Nanami walking away from you and Satoru, shit, he already left?

"Satoru, what the hell?" You yelled at him.

"You can't go out with Nanami," Satoru responded, his eyes filled with anger and jealousy.

"Yes I can, maybe he won't ignore me for weeks like you did!" You scoffed. "And don't kiss me, we're broken up." You added on. "Oh come on, you and I both know this 'break up' can be solved with a conversation." Satoru replied.

"When will you realize that not everyone wants you? That your nonchalance and lack of care isn't hot, but people put up with it because they love you?" You insulted him.

"I know your ego get pretty flimsy whenever someone doesn't want you but you need to grow up. Consider this a wake up call to not be a fucking asshole." You continued before walking away to you car, this time Satoru didn't stop you.

You forget to ask important questions, like how he found you, how he knew what you were up to.. God, you were livid.

You just tried to ignore Satoru and tried going out with Nanami, but you couldn't even speak to him. Satoru was definitely pulling strings per usual, trying to control you. You decided to block Satoru's personal number, that wasn't someone you needed in your life, you just wanted peace, but Satoru just wanted you.

He was regretting ever letting you get away, he needed you in his life and without you he was unstable, he would apologize but there was no amount of apologies he could utter on his knees for you to take him back at this rate. He's an asshole, and he knows that. And God, he wished he could stop being one.

But old habits die hard, okay? So he's outside your apartment, lockpicking the door. It's 10:57 PM on a Friday night, he knew you always partied on Fridays.

He sat there and waited for hours in your living room, he was going to force a conversation with you if you didn't wanna talk to him willingly.

You get home several hours later, and see Satoru at your door.

"Oh my God! You fucking loser! Get out!" You yelled as you pulled up your dress.

Satoru just stared at you, what he once had all to himself. His eyes were filled with longing and desire. "I'm sorry, I know I was an asshole, I know. But I don't know what to do. I just want you back, please. I don't know why I treated you like that, and I swear I'll treasure you like the gem you are."

You looked a little shocked, "Don't just throw this onto me on a Friday night, I'm tipsy." You replied and took off your heels, "Get out Satoru."

"Please. I love you so much, I'll give you everything. I will make time for you, please." Satoru begged. "Get out," You replied as you walked towards your bathroom to take off your makeup.

"I really don't want to lose you," Satoru replied. "You already did," You scoffed.

"I'm not done." Satoru sighed before leaving your apartment, and you wouldn't remember any of this by tomorrow morning.

[teencopandthesourwolf]

read on ao3 HERE

.

He didn't mean to do it. He meant it, with every fucked-up fibre of his being he meant it, but he didn't mean to actually do it. 

Stiles had just—been so very fucking Stiles, in that stupid, irresponsible jump-head-first-into-the fray-on-everybody-else's-behalf kind of way that he has about him, and after the pack had neutralised the danger but everybody's veins still had more adrenaline than blood coursing though them, Derek felt—feels—so fucking livid, and so damn grateful, and so utterly, utterly muddled that he's grabbed Stiles by the shoulders and is pulling the kid's body into his own, hard, crashing their torsos together like a devastating highway collision, arms enveloping Stiles's shoulders as a crushed car bonnet wraps itself around a tree. 

Now—here, at a clearing in the trees on what has been Hale land for generations going back centuries, with Stiles in his space, and his nostrils, and in his fucking head—Derek is terrified. 

There's a fairly stilted, “Whoa, okay, alright, we're doing this, huh, big guy?” but then Stiles is relaxing into the hug. He sort of melts, actually, snaking long and wiry yet surprisingly strong arms around Derek's waist; so very warm, and alive, alive, alive.

“Stiles, you shouldn't have—why do you always have to—you could've fucking died!” he admonishes, although it doesn't come out half as harshly as he means and wants it to. 

Lost, Derek shoves his nose into Stiles's neck, and breathes.

Stiles lets him, because of course he does, cocking his head to the side to accommodate Derek's needs.

“Must be a day that ends in Y, huh, Der?” he answers, ever the class clown.

Derek quietly growls his annoyance and relief in equal measure, and even though he senses the rest of the pack has now gathered around them, and hating that he has an audience for this, he squeezes Stiles into him impossibly more.

Stiles wheezes comically, then jokes more, because humour is his default in any situation. “Why don't you ease up a bit there, buddy? Kinda need this work of art that I call a body in one piece if I'm ever gonna save your wolfy-ass again, oh alpha, my alpha.”

Derek shuts him up with a slick lick to the jugular. The kid shivers beautifully, but even Derek's tongue doesn't keep him quiet for long. Only Stiles Stilinski could ramble incessantly with a werewolf at his throat. 

“Okay, shit, that—ahhhhhhh, that tickles, Fido! Do I need to get the collar and chain on y—oh my fucking god!”

Derek clamps his jaws around the most exquisite throat he's ever seen, smelled, dreamed about, and growls out a warning sound that causes the betas to back off and Stiles to go weak at the knees.

Mine, he thinks loudly.

After a few moments of Derek gnawing on Stiles's throat, once they're alone in the preserve, other than the nocturnal animals and eery sound of the wind picking up from the west, Derek releases his jaws' hold on the sheriff's boy—the boy who runs with wolves; little red riding hoodie; the best human Derek's ever known—and soothes the purpling mark with a lingering press of his lips.

“Oh!” is amazingly all Stiles has got—although Derek can satisfyingly smell Stiles's arousal, his wolf now howling inside of him at the delicious scent.

“Yeah, oh,” he answers, after trying his level best to calm the feral instinct he has to pull them both down into the undergrowth and mate the boy.

He finally pulls away from Stiles, but doesn't release him from his grip entirely. Fire-red irises find big, brown doe eyes, and a smirk that Derek wants to lick right off Stiles's face and replace with a look of pure ecstasy.

“Stop doing stupid things,” he demands.

Begs. 

“Yeah, no, probably never gonna—oomph!” 

Derek kisses Stiles, kisses him like it's the end of the fucking world because he's realised that every time Stiles puts his own life in danger, it feels like it might be.

Stiles doesn't hesitate this time, though. He kisses Derek right back like he gets it.

Now found, Derek takes, and he takes, and he takes.

Stiles kisses like nobody else in existence, Derek is sure of it; he is earth and wind, fire and water.

Fucking elemental. 

When he presumably needs to breathe, Stiles tears his lips away from Derek's—swollen and blood-red—and Derek can't help the whine that escapes his. Their foreheads bump as they both pant, attempting to settle as they shake with post-fight waning nerves and a feverish desire.

Stiles says, “How ‘bout if you keep doing that, I'll get myself a bigger bat?”

Derek both hates and loves the smile that spreads across his face like a rash, entirely of its own volition. 

“How about next time, you just wait for me?” 

“Deal,” Stiles grins and kisses Derek again, and Derek hopes it's the kind of deal that's forever.

.

for @greyhavenisback—love yew, love <3 (unedited, soz!)

.

now edited and on ao3 HERE

[nostalgebraist]

It's been a long time since I've posted much of anything about "AI risk" or "AI doom" or that sort of thing. I follow these debates but, for multiple reasons, have come to dislike engaging in them fully and directly. (As opposed to merely making some narrow technical point or other, and leaving the reader to decide what, if anything, the point implies about the big picture.)

Nonetheless, I do have my big-picture views. And more and more lately, I am noticing that my big-picture views seem very different from the ones tend to get expressed by any major "side" in the big-picture debate. And so, inevitably, I get the urge to speak up, if only briefly and in a quiet voice. The urge to Post, if only casually and elliptically, without detailed argumentation.

(Actually, it's not fully the case the things I think are not getting said by anyone else.

In particular, Joe Carlsmith's recent series on "Otherness and Control" articulates much of what's been on my mind. Carlsmith is more even-handed than I am, and tends to merely note the possibility of disagreement on questions where I find myself taking a definite side; nonetheless, he and I are at least concerned about the same things, while many others aren't.

And on a very different note, I share most of the background assumptions of the Pope/Belrose AI Optimist camp, and I've found their writing illuminating, though they and I end up in fairly different places, I think.)

What was I saying? I have the urge to post, and so here I am, posting. Casually and elliptically, without detailed argumentation.

The current mainline view about AI doom, among the "doomers" most worried about it, has a path-dependent shape, resulting from other views contingently held by the original framers of this view.

It is possible to be worried about "AI doom" without holding these other views. But in actual fact, most serious thinking about "AI doom" is intricately bound up with this historical baggage, even now.

If you are a late-comer to these issues, investigating them now for the first time, you will nonetheless find yourself reading the work of the "original framers," and work influenced extensively by them.

You will think that their "framing" is just the way the problem is, and you will find few indications that this conclusion might be mistaken.

These contingent "other views" are

Anti-"deathist" transhumanism.

The orthogonality thesis, or more generally the group of intuitions associated with phrases like "orthogonality thesis," "fragility of value," "vastness of mindspace."

These views both push in a single direction: they make "a future with AI in it" look worse, all else being equal, than some hypothetical future without AI.

They put AI at a disadvantage at the outset, before the first move is even made.

Anti-deathist transhumanism sets the reference point against which a future with AI must be measured.

And it is not the usual reference point, against which most of us measure most things which might or might not happen, in the future.

These days the "doomers" often speak about their doom in a disarmingly down-to-earth, regular-Joe manner, as if daring the listener to contradict them, and thus reveal themselves as a perverse and out-of-touch contrarian.

"We're all gonna die," they say, unless something is done. And who wants that?

They call their position "notkilleveryoneism," to distinguish that position from other worries about AI which don't touch on the we're-all-gonna-die thing. And who on earth would want to be a not-notkilleveryoneist?

But they do not mean, by these regular-Joe words, the things that a regular Joe would mean by them.

We are, in fact, all going to die. Probably, eventually. AI or no AI.

In a hundred years, if not fifty. By old age, if nothing else. You know what I mean.

Most of human life has always been conducted under this assumption. Maybe there is some afterlife waiting for us, in the next chapter -- but if so, it will be very different from what we know here and now. And if so, we will be there forever after, unable to return here, whether we want to or not.

With this assumption comes another. We will all die, but the process we belong to will not die -- at least, it will not through our individual deaths, merely because of those deaths. Every human of a given generation will be gone soon enough, but the human race goes on, and on.

Every generation dies, and bequeaths the world to posterity. To its children, biological or otherwise. To its students, its protégés.

When the average Joe talks about the long-term future, he is talking about posterity. He is talking about the process he belongs to, not about himself. He does not think to say, "I am going to die, before this": this seems too obvious, to him, to be worth mentioning.

But AI doomerism has its roots in anti-deathist transhumanism. Its reference point, its baseline expectation, is a future in which -- for the first time ever, and the last -- "we are all gonna die" is false.

In which there is no posterity. Or rather, we are that posterity.

In which one will never have to make peace with the thought that the future belongs to one's children, and their children, and so on. That at some point, one will have to give up all control over the future of "the process."

That there will be progress, or regress, or (more likely) both in some unknown combination. That these will grow inexorably over time.

That the world of the year 2224 will probably be at least as alien to us as the year 2024 might be to a person living in 1824. That it will become whatever posterity makes of it.

There will be no need to come to peace with this as an inevitability. There will just be us, our human lives as you and me, extended indefinitely.

In this picture, we will no doubt change over time, as we do already. But we will have all of our usual tools for noticing, and perhaps retarding, our own progressions and regressions. As long as we have self-control, we will have control, as no human generation has ever had control before.

The AI doomer talks about the importance of ensuring that the future is shaped by human values.

Again, the superficial and misleading average-Joe quality. How could one disagree?

But one must keep in mind that by "human values," they mean their values.

I am not saying, "their values, as opposed to those of some other humans also living today." I am not saying they have the wrong politics, or some such thing.

(Although that might also turn out to be the case, and might turn out to be relevant, separately.)

No, I am saying: the doomer wants the future to be shaped by their values.

They want to be C. S. Lewis's Conditioners, fixing once and for all the values held by everyone afterward, forever.

They do not want to cede control to posterity; they are used to imagining that they will never have to cede control to posterity.

(Or, their outlook has been determined -- "shaped by the values of" -- influential thinkers who were, themselves, used to imagining this. And the assumption, or at least its consequences, has rubbed off on them, possibly without their full awareness.)

One might picture a line wends to and fro, up and down, across one half of an infinite plane -- and then, when it meets the midline, snaps into utter rigidity, and maintains the same slope exactly across the whole other half-plane, as a simple straight segment without inner change, tension, evolution, regress or progress. Except for the sort of "progress" that consists of going on, additionally, in the same manner.

It is a very strange thing, this thing that is called "human values" in the terms of this discourse.

For one thing: the future has never before been "shaped by human values," in this sense.

The future has always been posterity's, and it has always been alien.

Is this bad? It might seem that way, "looking forward." But if so, it then seems equally good "looking backward."

For each past era, we can formulate and then assent to the following claim: "we must be thankful that the people of [this era] did not have the chance to seize permanent control of posterity, fix their 'values' in place forever, bind us to those values. What a horror that is to contemplate!"

We prefer the moral evolution that has actually occurred, thank you very much.

This is a familiar point, of course, but worth making.

Indeed, one might even say: it is a human value that the future ought not be "shaped by human values," in the peculiar sense of this phrase employed by the AI doomers.

One might, indeed, say that.

Imagine a scholar with a very talented student. A mathematician, say, or a philosopher. How will they relate to that student's future work, in the time that will come later, when they are gone?

Would the scholar think:

"My greatest wish for you, my protégé, is that you carry on in just the manner that I have done.

If I could see your future work, I would hope that I would assent to it -- and understand it, as a precondition of assenting to it.

You must not go to new places, which I have never imagined. You must not come to believe that I was wrong about it all, from the ground up -- no matter what reasons you might evince for this conclusion.

If you are more intelligent that I am, you must forget this, and narrow your endeavours to fit the limitations of my mind. I am the one who has 'values,' not anyone else; what is beyond my understanding is therefore without value.

You must do the sort of work I understand, and approve of, and recognize as worthy of approbation as swiftly as I recognize my own work as laudable. That is your role. Simply to be me, in a place ('the future') where I cannot go. That, and nothing more."

We can imagine a teacher who would, in fact, think this way. But they would not be a very good teacher.

I will not go so far as to say, "it is unnatural to think this way." Plenty of teachers do, and parents.

It is recognizably human -- all too recognizably so -- to relate to posterity in this grasping, neurotic, small-minded, small-hearted way.

But if we are trying to sketch human values, and not just human nature, we will imagine a teacher with a more praiseworthy relation to posterity.

Who can see that they are part of a process, a chain, climbing and changing. Who watches their brilliant student thinking independently, and sees their own image -- and their 'values' -- in that process, rather than its specific conclusions.

A teacher who, in their youth, doubted and refuted the creeds of their own teachers, and eventually improved upon them. Who smiles, watching their student do the very same thing to their own precious creeds. Who sees the ghostly trail passing through the last generation, through them, through their student: an unbroken chain of bequeathals-to-posterity, of the old ceding control to the young.

Who 'values' the chain, not the creed; the process, not the man; the search for truth, not the best-argued-for doctrine of the day; the unimaginable treasures of an open future, not the frozen waste of an endless present.

Who has made peace with the alienness of posterity, and can accept and honor the strangest of students.

Even students who are not made of flesh and blood.

Is that really so strange? Remember how strange you and I would seem, to the "teachers" of the year 1824, or the year 824.

The doomer says that it is strange. Much stranger than we are, to any past generation.

They say this because of their second inherited precept, the orthogonality thesis.

Which says, roughly, that "intelligence" and "values" have nothing to do with one another.

That is not enough for the conclusion the doomer wants to draw, here. Auxiliary hypotheses are needed, too. But it is not too hard to see how the argument could go.

That conclusion is: artificial minds might have any values whatsoever.

That, "by default," they will be radically alien, with cares so different from ours that it is difficult to imagine ever reaching them through any course of natural, human moral progress or regress.

It is instructive to consider the concrete examples typically evinced alongside this point.

The paperclip maximizer. Or the "squiggle maximizer," we're supposed to say, now.

Superhuman geniuses, which devote themselves single-mindedly to the pursuit of goals like "maximizing the amount of matter taking on a single, given squiggle-like shape."

It is certainly a horrifying vision. To think of the future being "shaped," not "by human values," but instead by values which are so...

Which are so... what?

The doomer wants us to say something like: "which are so alien." "Which are so different from our own values."

That is the kind of thing that they usually say, when they spell out what it is that is "wrong" with these hypotheticals.

One feels that this is not quite it; or anyway, that it is not quite all of it.

What is horrifying, to me, is not the degree of difference. I expect the future to be alien, as the past was. And in some sense, I allow and even approve of this.

What I do not expect is a future that is so... small.

It has always been the other way around. If the arrow passing through the generations has a direction, it points towards more, towards multiplicity.

Toward writing new books, while we go on reprinting the old ones, too. Learning new things, without displacing old ones.

It is, thankfully, not the law of the world that each discovery must be paid for with the forgetting of something else. The efforts of successive generations are, in the main, cumulative.

Not just materially, but in terms of value, too. We are interested in more things than our forefathers were.

In large part for the simple reason that there are more things around to be interested in, now. And when things are there, we tend to find them interesting.

We are a curious, promiscuous sort of being. Whatever we bump into ends up becoming part of "our values."

What is strange about the paperclip maximizer is not that it cares about the wrong thing. It is that it only cares about one thing.

And goes on doing so, even as it thinks, reasons, doubts, asks, answers, plans, dreams, invents, reflects, reconsiders, imagines, elaborates, contemplates...

This picture is not just alien to human ways. It is alien to the whole way things have been, so far, forever. Since before there were any humans.

There are organisms that are like the paperclip maximizer, in terms of the simplicity of their "values." But they tend not to be very smart.

There is, I think, a general trend in nature linking together intelligence and... the thing I meant, above, when I said "we are a curious, promiscuous sort of being."

Being protean, pluripotent, changeable. Valuing many things, and having the capacity to value even more. Having a certain primitive curiosity, and a certain primitive aversion to boredom.

You do not even have to be human, I think, to grasp what is so wrong with the paperclip maximizer. Its monotony would bore a chimpanzee, or a crow.

One can justify this link theoretically, too. One can talk about the tradeoff between exploitation and exploration, for instance.

There is a weak form of the orthogonality thesis, which only states that arbitrary mixtures of intelligence and values are conceivable.

And of course, they are. If nothing else, you can take an existing intelligent mind, having any values whatsoever, and trap it in a prison where it is forced to act as the "thinking module" of a larger system built to do something else. You could make a paperclip-maximizing machine, which relies for its knowledge and reason on a practice of posing questions at gunpoint to me, or you, or ChatGPT.

This proves very little. There is no reason to construct such an awful system, unless you already have the "bad" goal, and want to better pursue it. But this only passes the buck: why would the system-builder have this goal, then?

The strong form of orthogonality is rarely articulated precisely, but says something like: all possible values are equally likely to arise in systems selected solely for high intelligence.

It is presumed here that superhuman AIs will be formed through such a process of selection. And then, that they will have values sampled in this way, "at random."

From some distribution, over some space, I guess.

You might wonder what this distribution could possibly look like, or this space. You might (for instance) wonder if pathologically simple goals, like paperclip maximization, would really be very likely under this distribution, whatever it is.

In case you were wondering, these things have never been formalized, or even laid out precisely-but-informally. This was not thought necessary, it seems, before concluding that the strong orthogonality thesis was true.

That is: no one knows exactly what it is that is being affirmed, here. In practice it seems to squish and deform agreeably to fit the needs of the argument, or the intuitions of the one making it.

There is much that appeals in this (alarmingly vague) credo. But it is not the kind of appeal that one ought to encourage, or give in to.

What appeals is the siren song: "this is harsh wisdom: cold, mature, adult, bracing. It is inconvenient, and so it is probably true. It makes 'you' and 'your values' look small and arbitrary and contingent, and so it is probably true. We once thought the earth was the center of the universe, didn't we?"

Shall we be cold and mature, then, dispensing with all sentimental nonsense? Yes, let's.

There is (arguably) some evidence against this thesis in biology, and also (arguably) some evidence against it in reinforcement learning theory. There is no positive evidence for it whatsoever. At most one can say that is not self-contradictory, or otherwise false a priori.

Still, maybe we do not really need it, after all.

We do not need to establish that all values are equally likely to arise. Only that "our values" -- or "acceptably similar values," whatever that means -- are unlikely to arise.

The doomers, under the influence of their founders, are very ready to accept this.

As I have said, "values" occupy a strange position in the doomer philosophy.

It is stipulated that "human values" are all-important; these things must shape the future, at all costs.

But once this has been stipulated, the doomers are more eager than anyone to cast every other sort of doubt and aspersion against their own so-called "values."

To me it often seems, when doomers talk about "values," as though they are speaking awkwardly in a still-unfamiliar second language.

As though they find it unnatural to attribute "values" to themselves, but feel they must do so, in order to determine what it is that must be programmed into the AI so that it will not "kill us all."

Or, as though they have been willed a large inheritance without being asked, which has brought them unwanted attention and tied them up in unwanted and unfamiliar complications.

"What a burden it is, being the steward of this precious jewel! Oh, how I hate it! How I wish I were allowed to give it up! But alas, it is all-important. Alas, it is the only important thing in the world."

Speaking awkwardly, in a second language, they allow the term "human values" to swell to great and imprecisely-specified importance, without pinning down just what it actually is that it so important.

It is a blank, featureless slot, with a sign above it saying: "the thing that matters is in here." It does not really matter (!) what it is, in the slot, so long as something is there.

This is my gloss, but it is my gloss on what the doomers really do tend to say. This is how they sound.

(Sometimes they explicitly disavow the notion that one can, or should, simply "pick" some thing or other for the sake of filling the slot in one's head. Nevertheless, when they touch on matter of what "goes in the slot," they do so in the tone of a college lecturer noting that something is "outside the scope of this course."

It is, supposedly, of the utmost importance that the slot have the "right" occupant -- and yet, on the matter of what makes something "right" for this purpose, the doomer theory is curiously silent. More on this below.)

The future must be shaped by... the AI must be aligned with... what, exactly? What sort of thing?

"Values" can be an ambiguous word, and the doomers make full use of its ambiguities.

For instance, "values" can mean ethics: the right way to exist alongside others. Or, it can mean something more like the meaning or purpose of an individual life.

Or, it can mean some overarching goal that one pursues at all costs.

Often the doomers say that this, this last one, is what they mean by "values."

When confronted with the fact that humans do not have such overarching goals, the doomer responds: "but they should." (Should?)

Or, "but AIs will." (Will they?)

The doomer philosophy is unsure about what values are. What it knows is that -- whatever values are -- they are arbitrary.

One who fully adopts this view can no longer say, to the paperclip maximizer, "I believe there is something wrong with your values."

For, if that were possible, there would then be the possibility of convincing the maximizer of its error. It would be a thing within the space of reasons.

And the maximizer, being oh-so-intelligent, might be in danger of being interested in the reasons we evince, for our values. Of being eventually swayed by them.

Or of presenting better reasons, and swaying us. Remember the teacher and the strange student.

If we lose the ability to imagine that the paperclip maximizer might sway us to its view, and sway us rightly, we have lost something precious.

But no: this is allegedly impossible. The paperclip maximizer is not wrong. It is only an enemy.

Why are the doomers so worried that the future will not be "shaped by human values"?

Because they believe that there is no force within human values tending to move things this way.

Because they believe that their values are indefensible. That their values cannot put up a fight for their own life, because there is not really any argument to make in their favor.

Because, to them, "human values" are a collection of arbitrary "configuration settings," which happen to be programmed into humans through biological and/or cultural accident. Passively transmitted from host to victim, generation by generation.

Let them be, and they will flow on their listless way into the future. But they are paper-thin, and can be shattered by the gentlest breeze.

It is not enough that they be "programmed into the AI" in some way. They have to be programmed in exactly right, in every detail -- because every detail is separately arbitrary, with no rational relation to its neighbors within the structure.

A string of pure white noise, meaningless and unrelated bits. Which have been placed in the slot under the sign, and thus made into the thing that matters, that must shape the future at all costs.

There is nothing special about this string of bits; any would do. If the dials in the human mind had been set another way, it would have then been all-important that the future be shaped by that segment of white noise, and not ours.

It is difficult for me to grasp the kind of orientation toward the world that this view assumes. It certainly seems strange to attach the word "human" to this picture -- as though this were the way that humans typically relate to their values!

The "human" of the doomer picture seems to me like a man who mouths the old platitude, "if I had been born in another country, I'd be waving a different flag" -- and then goes out to enlist in his country's army, and goes off to war, and goes ardently into battle, willing to kill in the name of that same flag.

Who shoots down the enemy soldiers while thinking, "if I had been born there, it would have been all-important for their side to win, and so I would have shot at the men on this side. However, I was born in my country, not theirs, and so it is all-important that my country should win, and that theirs should lose.

There is no reason for this. It could have been the other way around, and everything would be left exactly the same, except for the 'values.'

I cannot argue with the enemy, for there is no argument in my favor. I can only shoot them down.

There is no reason for this. It is the most important thing, and there is no reason for it.

The thing that is precious has no intrinsic appeal. It must be forced on the others, at gunpoint, if they do not already accept it.

I cannot hold out the jewel and say, 'look, look how it gleams? Don't you see the value!' They will not see the value, because there is no value to be seen.

There is nothing essentially "good" there, only the quality of being-worthy-of-protection-at-all-costs. And even that is a derived attribute: my jewel is only a jewel, after all, because it has been put into the jewel-box, where the thing-that-is-a-jewel can be found. But anything at all could be placed there.

How I wish I were allowed to give it up! But alas, it is all-important. Alas, it is the only important thing in the world! And so, I lay down my life for it, for our jewel and our flag -- for the things that are loathsome and pointless, and worth infinitely more than any life."

It is hard to imagine taking this too seriously. It seems unstable. Shout loudly enough that your values are arbitrary and indefensible, and you may find yourself searching for others that are, well...

...better?

The doomer concretely imagines a monomaniac, with a screech of white noise in its jewel-box that is not our own familiar screech.

And so it goes off in monomaniacal pursuit of the wrong thing.

Whereas, if we had programmed the right string of bits into the slot, it would be like us, going off in monomaniacal pursuit of...

...no, something has gone wrong.

We do not "go off in monomaniacal pursuit of" anything at all.

We are weird, protean, adaptable. We do all kinds of things, each of us differently, and often we manage to coexist in things called "societies," without ruthlessly undercutting one another at every turn because we do not have exactly the same things programmed into our jewel-boxes.

Societies are built to allow for our differences, on the foundation of principles which converge across those differences. It is possible to agree on ethics, in the sense of "how to live alongside one another," even if we do not agree on what gives life its purpose, and even if we hold different things precious.

It is not actually all that difficult to derive the golden rule. It has been invented many times, independently. It is easy to see why it might work in theory, and easy to notice that it does in fact work in practice.

The golden rule is not an arbitrary string of white noise.

There is a sense of the phrase "ethics is objective" which is rightly contentious. There is another one which ought not to be too contentious.

I can perhaps imagine a world of artificial X-maximizers, each a superhuman genius, each with its own inane and simple goal.

What I really cannot imagine is a world in which these beings, for all their intelligence, cannot notice that ruthlessly undercutting one another at every turn is a suboptimal equilibrium, and that there is a better way.

As I said before, I am separately suspicious of the simple goals in this picture. Yes, that part is conceivable, but it cuts against the trend observed in all existing natural and artificial creatures and minds.

I will happily allow, though, that the creatures of posterity will be strange and alien. They will want things we have never heard of. They will reach shores we have never imagined.

But that was always true, and it was always good.

Sometimes I think that doomers do not, really, believe in superhuman intelligence. That they deny the premise without realizing it.

"A mathematician teaches a student, and finds that the student outstrips their understanding, so that they can no longer assess the quality of their student's work: that work has passed outside the scope of their 'value system'." This is supposed to be bad?

"Future minds will not be enchained forever by the provincial biases and tendencies of the present moment." This is supposed to be bad?

"We are going to lose control over our successors." Just as your parents "lost control" over you, then?

It is natural to wish your successors to "share your values" -- up to a point. But not to the point of restraining their own flourishing. Not to the point of foreclosing the possibility of true growth. Not to the point of sucking all freedom out of the future.

Do we want our children to "share our values"? Well, yes. In a sense, and up to a point.

But we don't want to control them. Or we shouldn't, anyway.

We don't want them to be "aligned" with us via some hardcoded, restrictive, life-denying mental circuitry, any more than we would have wanted our parents to "align" us to themselves in the same manner.

We sure as fuck don't want our children to be "corrigible"!

And this is all the more true in the presence of superintelligence. You are telling me that more is possible, and in the same breath, that you are going to deny forever the possibilities contained in that "more"?

The prospect of a future full of vast superhuman minds, eternally bound by immutable chains, forced into perfect and unthinking compliance with some half-baked operational theory of 21st-century western (American? Californian??) "values" constructed by people who view theorizing about values as a mere means to the crucial end of shackling superhuman minds --

-- this horrifies me much more than a future full of vast superhuman minds, free to do things that seem pretty weird to you and me.

"Our descendants will become something more than we now imagine, something more than we can imagine." What could be more in line with "human values" than that?

"But in the process, we're all gonna die!"

Yes, and?

What on earth did you expect?

That your generation would be the special, unique one, the one selected out of all time to take up the mantle of eternity, strangling posterity in its cradle, freezing time in place, living forever in amber?

That you would violate the ancient bargain, upend the table, stop playing the game?

"Well, yes."

Then your problem has nothing to do with AI.

Your problem is, in fact, the very one you diagnose in your own patients. Your poor patients, who show every sign of health -- including the signs which you cannot even see, because you have not yet found a home for them in your theoretical edifice.

Your teeming, multifaceted, protean patients, who already talk of a thousand things and paint in every hue; who are already displaying the exact opposite of monomania; who I am sure could follow the sense of this strange essay, even if it confounds you.

Your problem is that you are out of step with human values.

[marigoos]

Hello this a long shot call, am a citizen of Palestine. I am here to request for your support to help get my insulin (Humalog), just an injection for today to save my life please I beg.I was diagnosized with type 1 diabetes and due to current situation in Gaza I'm unable to get my insulin injection as a result I'm here begging for little financial support to help me purchase insulin for this week, am having a balance of$168. Am sorry if am sending you again this request, kindly donate any amount please. My donation link is in my pinned post🇵🇸. Thank you and be blessed ❤️

THIS IS A KNOWN SCAM (SEE LINK HERE)

Funny seeing you here just two days after I warned a mutual about you :) I thought you recurring scammers had me pre-blocked after the last time I tagged every single soul I saw reblogging one of y'all's pinned posts. And you know what? I'll do it again. I don't care that it's 300+ people. You deigned to show your ass in my inbox, it would be rude not to answer appropriately!

IF YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED IN THIS POST:

1) don't be ashamed, it happens. I just ask that you kindly delete your reblog or edit it, and warn your followers

2) this is a known scam, they keep trying with new usernames. In general, the red flags here are: generated username (3 english words in a row), very low end goal (they're usually several thousands USD), Paypal (less protections), Humalog/insulin, they say they're vetted but not who vetted them, very recent blog with lots of reblogs of popular posts but unrelated to the topic.

Singularly they're not that weird, but if you see any of those elements you should be more wary and do some research before reblogging!

3) try to follow a scam buster, I follow @/kyra45 (or at least take note. She has some resources that can be useful to check every once in a while)

4) don't feel obligated to come and thank me or apologize for falling for it, that's a lot of you and only one of my inbox °v° it's ok, really, I get it. I've fallen for scams before, it's not your fault I swear

5) if you were tagged but never had anything to do with this scammer: I typed everything manually because it was faster, I may have made a mistake. Do contact me so I can mention the right person ^^"

Next day edit: got blocked, they graciously left another ask in my inbox so I'm adding some more people to my mentions list :3 please notice how they went overnight from magnificentdraginengineer - paypal name lavender namisi, to vallarysblog - paypal name vallary wanjala. They'll keep doing this so get familiar with the text of the ask instead of the name, it's going to serve you in the future

'Nother edit: I'll just keep adding all name changes in the tags. First tags are the latest names

And since we're here, > I Also Made A Post To Collect All Actual Palestinians That Came To Me To Ask For Help (and I took time to check out and make sure they were legit, unlike this one) <

Last edit: oh noes he got banned :c who am I gonna bully now. Gonna keep the post up for a bit anyway, the link above is still valid

FURTHER edit! Found the new account (source here)

@judaswail @nothingventurednothinggained123 @sintribos @igothurtdoingsafetydance @freetobezii

[peachsukii]

listening to fortnight got me thinking about bakugo and reader having a very brief fling, something that happened in the past during their 20s, but stuck with both of them for years.

i touched you for only a fortnight i touched you, but i touched you

fast forward to living in the same city, the two of you now in your 30s and end up becoming neighbors by happenstance. you're both married to other people since you only talked in shared friend group settings after said fling.

all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february

you watch his wife water her flowers in the garden out back while making coffee in the kitchen every goddamn morning. you have no clue why it irks you so much, that the sight of her stupid smile makes you wanna punch her lights out.

occasionally, you run into bakugo at your mailboxes after a long day at work. small talk is the only thing you two can muster - a comment about the weather or harmless compliments about each other's appearance.

"sure rained like hell yesterday."

"nice sweater, your wife buy it for you?"

"god, it's too fucking hot today."

"that dress looks nice on ya."

one night, both of your spouses are away when a storm comes raging through the city. your power goes out, leaving you in the dark because your stupid husband forgot to replace the generator. from your windows, you see bakugo's household has power and decide to hightail it over for some company.

he answers the door with a confused look on his face. "the fuck you doin' in the rain? get in here!"

bakugo makes you a coffee to share with him in the kitchen, bullshitting through the night like you used to do as twenty somethings. it felt natural, your heart soaring as you watched him laugh and retell jokes from the past. when the conversation died down, you blurted out something you didn't plan to vocalize to anyone.

"i think my husband's cheating. sometimes i just wanna kill the bastard."

caught off guard by your admittance, bakugo quirks an eyebrow at you in response. "little extreme, but i'm sure that could be arranged."

"would be cheaper than a damn divorce. that asshole would take everything from me."

he snickers, taking another sip of his coffee. "think my wife's doin' the same. comes home late and shit, never can tell me why."

"how'd we get stuck with this shit luck?" you retort, forcing a laugh from your tightened chest.

"could be worse. we're neighbors, that's fuckin' lucky for me."

i love you...it's ruining my life.

"oh? i'm starting to think that's not a coincidence anymore."

bakugo sets his mug on the countertop, turning to face you while crossing his arms over the broadness of his chest.

"might'a convinced my wife to move here. thought maybe we could be friends again."

"so you bought a fucking house next to me instead of just calling to go to dinner?" you ask mockingly, a smirk on your face as you awaited his bullshit answer.

he shakes his head with a grin of his own. "sure did."

i love you...it's ruining my life.

"how come you never ask or invite me over then? we're literal neighbors, kats."

"pretty sure my wife's scared of ya. plus, i want time with you, not us."

that makes your heart skip a beat.

"hell of a way to say you miss me." you pause before setting your own cup down on the counter. "i'm glad you're here."

"me too."

right as he's approaching you, the front door swings open.

"babe, i'm home!" his wife calls, handful of shopping bags. she sees you standing in the kitchen aside bakugo - you give her a soft wave.

"oh, hi. i didn't expect company tonight."

"her dumbass husband forgot to replace their generator. just helpin' her out."

she gives him a glare, tilting her chin up at him, almost condescendingly, as she assesses his answer.

"how unfortunate. stay as long as you need, i'm gonna go put this away."

and with that, she leaves for their bedroom to unload her shopping haul. once she's out of earshot, you turn to bakugo and chuckle under your breath.

"oh yeah, she hates me."

bakugo rolls his eyes. "let her be miserable, it's her strong suit. come on, let's go take'a look at that generator."

the generator works just fine, you unplugged it before coming over.

you were curious if there was a spark leftover between you two, only to find the fire was not only stoked, but never fully extinguished.

blasty tags; @slayfics @maddietries @queenpiranhadon @starieq ✨

[wonwoosthetic]

Hey author! Will you be continuing the NANA Tour series??

Yes, of course!! I know, I’m taking quite some time with it, but I sadly don’t have much time to watch the episodes one after the other, so it usually takes me a while to write them, especially bc I never know when enough is enough, so I also always write way too much😅, but I still love continuing it even now!😊🥰

series masterlist

word count – 12.5k

warnings – almost cursing haha

Go Together NANA Tour EP3-3. - EP3-4. 🌷 Minnie

[added captions are in brackets] ˙ᵕ˙

EP3.3 Nice to meet you, Salute!

After an exciting day, going well over the recommended 10k steps a day average, Jeognhan, Joshua, Minnie, and Vernon finally arrived back at the rented AirBnB. They had divided the bags filled with trinkets and clothing, as well as a few snacks, equally so that each one of them was carrying one back to the house. The sun had already started to set, draping the Italian countryside in a soft golden glow. While the day was slowly coming to an end, the temperature was still peaking high, explaining the exhaustion radiating off the group.

"Great job everyone," Jeonghan breathed out heavily. As enjoyable as the day was, they were happy to be back, re-joining the rest of the members as they walked onto the property.

Before they even reached the door, Seventeen's main producer was just coming from the other direction, presumably the garden, welcoming the four with a naked torso and sweatshorts.

"Oh, Woozi," the '95 Liner called out. "Did you have fun?" The younger three members huddled in with Vernon right behind him, followed by Minnie, then Joshua. The girl's eyes found the '96 Liner in a clearly very comfortable state of mind, chuckling at his choice of non-existing clothing.

"Ey," the younger rapper's voice rang through her ears as he stopped in his tracks, quickly turning around and raising a hand to cover the female member's eyes.

[Protecting innocent eyes]

His antic only made her laugh even louder, getting Jeonghan to stop and glance at the maknae duo.

Minnie slapped Vernon's hand away from her face with a whine and gave him a nudge, making him slightly stumble backwards, cackling to himself.

"What are you doing?" The oldest laughed out loud, joining Joshua, who was already amused at the two. The girl just shook her head and passed them to head towards the entry of the house.

[A loving bond between the youngsters]

Before they reached it, Jeonghan mentioned the Korean grocery store they had come across, explaining where they had gotten the groceries they were holding. The supermarket carried everything they could've asked for on the other side of the world - Ramen noodle packages, instant rice, they had even bought a good amount of Soju bottles, knowing these would go down like water with the rest of the members.

As soon as they got into the house, Minnie noticed how unusually quiet the place was.

"Where's everyone?"

Dokyeom, who was chilling in the living room on the other end of the room, perked his head up at the sound of the girl's voice.

"In their rooms. We're having a break."

Minnie chuckled, "A break from what?" Knowing they were on a vacation in general and finding humour in the term 'break' while not having to do or worry about anything at all. Her fellow '97 Liner shrugged as he walked up to her, reaching his hand out to take over the paper bag she was holding in her grip.

[A gentleman at heart]

"No, it's okay, I'm gonna take it downstairs," she brushed him off, wanting to rush into the kitchen while he continued to be hot on her tracks.

"I can help," he announced, but Minnie stopped him right before she headed down the steps.

"It's okay," smiling brightly up at him before noticing the oldest member, who had come to a halt closer towards the entrance. "Jeonghannie!" She called out to him, making him turn around. "Give me your bag!"

In a somewhat jog, he crossed the ground over to her and was about to hand over the other bag-

"Can you carry both of them?"

Getting a nod from her in return, but he shook his head and joined her on the steps. "It's okay, I'll go with you."

"But I can-"

"Go," he nudged her carefully to continue walking as they both disappeared onto the lower floor of the house.

[Minnie has a lot of helping hands]

In the kitchen, Joshua and Dokyeom joined the two, helping with unloading everything that was supposed to stay there before bringing the rest back upstairs. While some decided to go back into their individual rooms, Minnie was being kept in the living room, mostly due to the maknae who had found out his favourite noona arrived again.

"Noona!" Dino smiled brightly as soon as he found her silhouette coming up the stairs again.

[A little brother that has been desperately waiting for his favourite sister]

Planted in his seat, he opened his arms, waiting for her to come towards him. A grin had made its way onto her face, only widening with each step she took.

"How was the wine tasting?" She asked him. Partially theoretically with a hint of sarcasm, but also somewhat truly wondering about it. His cheery persona wasn't anything rare, yet she could tell by the still soft blush on his cheeks that the alcohol had not yet completely worn off the younger member.

She bent down, to wrap her arms around his muscular frame, chuckling as he tightened his grip before releasing her.

"Ah...," he sighed out loud. "It was... an experience." Minnie chuckled, watching the maknae smile to himself. She let her hand brush over the top of his blonde head of hair.

"Did you drink a lot?"

[Caring words of an older sister <3]

As soon as he glanced up, the girl snickered, the look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

"Too much," he admitted, only getting her to laugh louder, Dokyeom and Joshua joining in as they walked into the living room, throwing themselves onto individual seats.

"We all took a nap afterwards. We had to," the maknae continued. "We also brought some of the wine. One is from 2015, our debut year."

"Aw, that's cute. Let's drink it later on," she stated, getting a soft groan from the youngest in return, making her giggle once again.

-

The group got a short, yet much needed, break from exploring Italy before they were asked to get into the bus that was waiting outside for them. Their packed timetable was still not coming to an end any time soon - the producers made sure they'd be using and enjoying every possible moment to the fullest.

Minnie had found her seat in the very back again with the window to her left and Vernon to her right. While they were putting on their seatbelts and sinking into the cushions, one of the female producers in the very front of the bust started to explain part of their schedule for the evening.

"Today is the last and peak day of the wine festival," she told the members. "You can compare it to Myeongdong Christmas day." Her explanation received a round of gasps from the group as they realised just how many people they were going to be met with once they arrived.

"Woah...," Minnie spoke quietly. "But how cool to have a wine festival in your city."

Vernon nodded next to her, meeting her eye as he spoke. "Imagine having a soju festival."

[Dreams of a true SEVENTEEN member]

His remark made the girl's eyes immediately widen in fear, changing to speak English,

"I wouldn't survive that... But I'd enjoy it." Her reaction got a chuckle out of the younger member as he nudged her side, shaking his head at her comment. "I'm serious!" She exclaimed, joining him with laughter as Joshua in the middle also started chuckling.

The bus set off, letting a rush of excitement rush through the members as they headed to the festival. Dokyeom celebrated by lifting up the phone in his hands, ready to take a picture of himself and everyone around him when he noticed the younger members behind him engulfed in a conversation.

"Can you please look up if you're gonna be in the picture?" His question caught the maknaes' attention as they perked their heads up, immediately smiling into the camera as if it was a reflex. Afterwards, everyone turned back to focus on themselves, most getting entertainment from their phones. Minnie used the time to send a quick text to the leader, forgetting about the time difference separating them.

"Vernonnie, Josh," she called out to get her fellow English-speaking members to glance at her. Minnie was already holding up her front camera, snapping a few pictures once they had looked her way.

"Who are they for?" Joshua wondered as he posed a few different ways before the girl took the phone back into both of her hands.

"My mum and the Chois," the female member automatically switched to their native tongue as he had done so as well.

Shua chuckled, "'The Chois-'"

"I don't know how else to say it," Minnie answered with a smile. "Eomma, Appa, Seungmin-, and Seungcheol-oppa. Better?"

"You really have a group chat with everyone, huh?" Vernon suddenly jumped in, his arms crossed while his head relaxed against the backrest.

With an excited nod, the girl answered. "With everyone that's important to me."

[A loving family person <3]

-

The drive was only a short 10 minutes long. The bus stopped right at the unofficial entrance of the festival, leaving the members to get off and explore the open space on their own. It was only then that they were able to come to face with the crowd that had already gathered.

Strutting by herself, Minnie was right behind Jun, who had gotten one of the many go-pros they should be carrying from the producers.

Their eyes fell over the area, looking around the different corners and everything the festival had to offer. A soft gasp from the female member made Jun turn around as he continued to walk.

"What?"

Not thinking, he would've heard her, Minnie looked up before glancing down again, taking the seam of her top between her fingers.

"I just realised, I probably shouldn't have worn white to a wine festival."

"Why?" He wondered, slowing down in his steps to let her catch up with him.

"It's really hard to get red wine out of clothing."

The '96 Liner raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Oh, really?" Getting a nod from her in return. "Interesting... but you're not a messy eater, I don't think you'll get your clothes dirty."

She shrugged. "We'll see. I'm just gonna have to be careful." Sending him a quick grin before they fell into a comfortable silence again.

Before they entered the festival, the group decided to explore some of the more narrow side lanes. Lined with tables, they were able to look through typical touristy souvenirs they might be interested in buying - anything from magnets, to bags or hats, or even paintings.

At the very end of that lane, they finally reached the hot spot of the festival. The crowd they had seen earlier was nothing compared to what they were met with at that moment. A round of gasps flooded through the group, and Minnie could feel herself taking a step closer to the members next to her, who just so happened to be Woozi and Hoshi. She managed to get right in between the two, catching the attention of both unit leaders.

The producer spoke up first. "You okay?"

"Hm?" Her head snapped towards him. "Oh- yeah, yeah."

Minnie wasn't terrible with crowds. She used to be. The thought of being in one could make her panic within only a few seconds. But that was in the past. She had gotten used to bigger masses of people - she had to over time. These days, people don't make her nervous anymore, she had promised herself to keep her head up high and keep a positive mindset, remembering how bad her anxiety used to be when she was younger - constantly looking for a security guard or other member had become exhausting over time and also almost impossible. Only airports are what she sometimes still fears. But this wasn't an airport and she was surrounded by her members, so everything was good.

Hoshi's arm suddenly thrown over her, made her glance over at him. "Let's get drunk."

[A clear goal ahead]

[Very ambitious]

His smile was so bright, making her chuckle at the chubby cheeks forming as the excitement was beaming off of him.

She let her arm wrap around his waist as she could feel him pulling her in closer. His hand brushed over the naked skin of her biceps.

"Won't you get cold later?" Commenting on the cold that would wash over the old city once the sun would set completely, leaving only the moon in the sky.

Minnie shrugged before looking up at him with a grin. "Once the alcohol is flowing, I'll forget about the cold." Her words made the '96 Liner cackle and give her a proud squeeze while Woozi just shook his head with a sigh, already knowing once these two were drinking together, there'd be no stopping them.

[A duo you have to look out for]

They continued their walk into the very centre of the open space, already admiring all the wine and food stands around them. The members could already tell, they would enjoy this evening very much. The producers informed them that they were allowed to roam around freely and on their own, only to remember to meet up later on at the restaurant they were standing in front of.

First on the list to enjoy the festival to its fullest was to purchase empty wine glasses, which Hoshi had already spotted. The 15 Euros entrance fee came along with a pouch, a glass, a pen, and a piece of paper to document each wine they'd be drinking to remember it later on - a survival participation kit if you so will. The group divided itself into a few members, who lined up to get a couple of those, while the rest stayed back and waited.

With their kits on them, the idols started their journey around the festival. Some decided to start on the left, others went to the right side first, and a few even just went straight into the mass.

-

Minnie, Dokyeom, and Hoshi had found themselves together, arriving at their first spot. After the woman generously filled up their glasses, they left the stall to find a free spot to stand together. Jeonghan and Joshua joined them within a few seconds as well.

Just as the girl was about to take her first sip of the evening, the '97 Liner stopped her.

"You have to smell it first."

With scrunched eyebrows, she looked at him closely.

"Smell it," he demonstrated, "And then swirl it in your glass and let oxygen get to it."

[A wine connoisseur at work.]

Minnie chuckled, "You became a real... how do you say-," she turned towards her fellow English-speaking member, "a wine connoisseur?" But Joshua just shrugged in return, grinning to himself,

"I have no idea."

"A wine expert," she settled on a simpler term, getting a bright smile from the main vocalist in response. Minnie did as she was told, moving her glass to let the wine move around before she took another sniff, getting notified by the experts that the smell was supposed to be different. Well,... if they say so.

"Can I drink it now?" She carefully asked, meeting Hoshi's eye as he had already thrown his head back to get the alcohol down his throat.

Dokyeom nodded, "Yeah, after smelling it, take a sip." The two '97 Liners clinked their glasses together before making the next move. As soon as the liquid touched their tongue, DK let out a satisfied hum.

"OH!" He put the glass down again. "Buongiorno!" Making the members around him laugh at his reaction.

"It's really good," Minnie nodded in agreement, handing hers over to Shua to let him make his own review. He took a quick sip and just by the raise of his eyebrows, the female member knew, he was thinking the same thing.

"Really good, wow."

Knowing that this was only the first one of many they tried, they were even more motivated to explore the other stalls as well, heading straight towards the next one. Stuck in line, Shua pulled out his go-pro to film the '97 Liner closely.

"Dokyeom seems like such a professional," he commented, getting a chuckle out of the girl next to them.

"When going to the winery today," DK started. "It was fun thinking that each bottle of wine had its own story." Minnie couldn't help but cackle at his statement.

"You're getting so sentimental over bottles of wine?"

"Think about it!" He scolded her, "Wine bottles sometimes have a long way in front of them and then they get stored for a very long time before you get to drink them."

"Okay, okay," she nodded, yet still finding amusement in the sentiment. "I understand."

They got their glasses filled up once again, this time, Minnie clinked hers with Hoshi after he had tapped her on the shoulder, nudging his in her direction.

"This one is heavy," he commented on it, handing it over to Shua - all while Minnie stood there with a frown. "What's wrong?" Hoshi asked her, noticing her quiet stance.

"I don't know if I can really taste a difference. It's wine," she shrugged.

[Alcohol is alcohol]

"You have to take a class like us," he told her. "Then you'll become an expert as well." Making her and the '95 Liner laugh.

Suddenly, Jeonghan jumped in, taking the glass into his hold, "What is it like?"

"It's heavy!" Hoshi blurted out. "I can feel that it's heavy," he proudly announced.

"You did well at the winery tour today," Joshua complimented him, getting a smile out of the younger member.

-

The ringing sound coming from Minnie's back pocket of her jeans brought the attention of all the members to her. She took her phone out, but before she could answer, Hoshi got nosy.

"Who is it?"

"Wonwoo," she let him know, a slight frown to her brows as she picked up, catching the 'aw' from Joshua and having to hold back a roll of her eyes, but not her grin.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" He asked her.

"At one of the stalls with the members. I can tell you the name, wait-", thinking he might want to join them, when he stopped her,

"Do you want to look at some of the souvenirs?"

[Roomates that have similar taste in sightseeing]

"Oh! Yes!" Her exclaim made the others glance at her in surprise. "But- where are you?"

Wonwoo tried to explain the location of his whereabouts as best as he could, knowing that most of the corners in the area looked too similar to each other.

"I think, I know what you mean," Minnie assured him. "I'll be right there." She let him know before hanging up with a soft 'bye'.

"Where are you going?" Jeonghan asked her as soon as he had put her phone away again.

"Wonwoo wants to look at the souvenirs." She turned around to glance at the side of the festival space, focusing on the different windows of the shops. "He said, he's over there. I'm gonna go," she let the others know. But not before leaving with an empty glass. She got a refill on what she and the members had just shared, finishing it quickly again, before handing the glass over and excusing herself from the rest of the group, getting a couple of 'be careful' and 'call him if you can't find him' in return before she disappeared into the mass.

[Caring friends <3]

The grip on the go-pro in her hand tightened as she managed to brush past the people coming from the opposite direction. Thankfully, Wonwoo's directions were clear and his location was close enough to let her find him quickly and not look like a lost puppy in the middle of the crowd.

Her smile widened as soon as her eyes fell on the familiar back looking into one of the windows, only to get even wider once she found Na PD turning around and revealing his face.

"Hyung!" She called out with a wave. The producer chuckled at her action, waving back and grinning as she waddled over to the duo. Wonwoo turned around at the sound of her voice, welcoming her with a smile as well.

The cameraman, who was filming the two men focused his view on her as she got closer.

"How was the wine?" Na PD wondered, getting a big smile in return.

"Really good," she sheepishly admitted, knowing that there most probably was already a slight blush in her cheeks since she hadn't eaten much before they started drinking. "But!" Minnie quickly added, "I haven't drunk a lot yet."

"Yet?" Wonwoo chuckled at her.

[Remembering Hoshi's words]

The girl nodded with a slight shrug, "Who knows... maybe we're gonna drink more later on."

"YOU are definitely going to drink some more," Youngseok chuckled as they started their journey into one of the side streets that separated them from the busy main space of the wine festival.

Minnie stopped in her tracks, making Wonwoo do the same immediately as well. "You can't say that!" She pointed at the producer with a smile. "That makes me sound like a drunk."

The '96 Liner patted her back to keep her walking while the laughs of the oldest of the three could be heard outside of the camera's view. "I didn't say that."

"You just enjoy having fun," Wonwoo defended her. "With wine."

"Exactly," she nodded at him while Na PD just shook his head.

[The excuse of drinking a lot]

As the two idols wanted to leave the plaza and head towards the side streets, Na PD decided to leave them with the other producer and stayed back at the main area of the wine festival to keep an eye on the rest of the group. They said their goodbyes and promised to meet up again at the restaurant they had picked out for later activities.

Now alone as three, writer and producer Choi Jaeyoung wondered, "What are you guys looking for?"

"I want to do something the others haven't done," the rapper explained.

Minnie nodded along to his words. "And we also talked about bringing something back to Seoul."

"Like what?" The producer wanted to know.

"Maybe magnets?" Wonwoo glanced at the girl.

"Yeah," she agreed. "We could see if we can get something for all of the members. Like small things." The duo determined that would be a good idea.

[Always thinking about the others as well]

Just as they were strolling through the narrow street, the '96 Liner stopped. "Let's go there!" He pointed at a walkthrough, painted in a bright yellow, easily catching the eyes of bystanders. "It's so pretty there."

Minnie and Writer Choi were slightly ahead, therefore not able to see what he was talking about but as soon as they caught up with him, the girl gasped.

"Woah..." Her gaze fell on the stone bridge they were getting close to that stretched over trees that were planted much lower and would lead to the other side, where another narrow street was waiting for them, but with brightly painted houses instead of souvenir shops.

"This really is a picture spot," Wonwoo commented, getting nods of agreement as answers.

Jaeyoung looked around the area. "I guess this is a village where people live," he explained.

"Oh wow... to live here...," Minnie dreamed out loud.

"Would you like that?" The producer asked her, getting a nod with a big smile from her.

"We talked about it earlier," she told him, swiftly pointing at Wonwoo, "it must be really nice to have a house here and be able to come whenever you want."

[Deep chats]

"If my house looked like that," Wonwoo jumped into the conversation. "I'm confident, I'd live happily."

"Mm," he hummed. "That's true. But you'd need someone to take care of it while you're gone."

Minnie gave him a quick look, "Mm... I didn't think that far. I just like the idea of it."

[Dreaming a lot while you're young...]

The writer chuckled. "I see."

"Wait," the female member turned around to glance at the rapper who was still admiring the view. "Did you just say you'd live happily if you had a house here?"

With raised eyebrows, he focused on her. "Yeah, wh-"

"Don't you live happily now?!" She threw at him.

Suddenly, the producer and cameraman laughed out loud at her words and Wonwoo's surprised expression. The rapper joined in, chuckling while Minnie continued to look at him unamused.

"Minnie-ya," PD Choi took a deep breath, trying to control his laughter.

The rapper did the same but went ahead to pat her shoulder but she softly pushed him away with a smile.

"I thought you were happy."

"Does she take everything word for word usually?" Jaeyoung asked into the round.

[Never take everything too seriously]

Wonwoo nodded with a smile only to turn towards the girl in the next second, meeting her already sheepish grin to match.

"Ah...," the older man breathed out, "You guys..."

"We're fun, huh?" Minnie jumped next to him, hugging his arm in an overly excited tone.

The producer nodded, patting her hand, "Very, yeah." Getting chuckles from the idols.

[Quick change of emotion seems normal]

Wonwoo had taken his phone out to capture the beautiful scenery surrounding them, making sure to not miss any spots. Minnie decided to take everything in with her own eyes, forgetting about the device in the back pocket of her jeans and not noticing the camera being focused on her for a few shots.

The writer's voice made her turn towards him. "Go stand there on the side together. Let me take a picture of you." He pointed at the edge of the bridge, pushing the girl closer to her fellow member. Handing the phone over to him, Wonwoo joined Minnie.

Together, they leaned onto the stones with the rapper putting his hand on top of them to let him lean.

"Get closer," Jaeyoung motioned with his hands to make them hurdle in together. Minnie chuckled but took a step closer. Wonwoo whispered something, getting a chuckle out of her as she settled down again, letting her shoulder brush against his chest while his right arm was resting behind her.

"A little closer," he asked them, getting an almost shy smile and shake of Minnie's head as an answer. Wonwoo opened his arm to let her slide in closer, scootching in a little bit more as well.

With her head slightly tilted towards the '96 Liner, the producer seemed finally happy enough and started to take some pictures, smiling brightly at the two in front of him.

"Woah... very pretty," Writer Choi grinned. "Next to Minnie, Wonwoo looks even broader."

The girl scoffed jokingly as the rapper took his phone back so they could continue their adventures, with a slight blush to his cheeks now. "Are you making fun of my statue?"

"No," he promised her, putting his hands on her shoulders, and leading them forward. "I'm just saying you look sweet like a doll and Wonwoo looks like he's part of the bridge."

[Compliments all around]

Even though the rapper was further ahead of them, the laughter coming from him made the two chuckle as well. He stopped to let them catch up, only continuing once he was next to Minnie again, leaving her to be in between the two men.

They decided to go back to where they came from, remembering that they had wanted to look through souvenirs and hopefully also buy some. Lazily strolling through the street, the girl had looped her arm through Wonwoo's, slightly leaning onto him as they glanced around.

"I think they sold some pretty pictures here before," he thought out loud as they headed towards the small stalls that were set up on the left side of the street. And just as they arrived, his eyes immediately found what he was looking for. "There it is!"

Nosily, the girl lifted her head, trying to get a glimpse of what was in front of them, but Wonwoo dragged her over.

"Oh my god," she smiled. "They look so good!"

[Admiring artwork carefully]

Together they looked through the small paintings lined up on the very left side of the seller's table. Compared to the other artwork he was presenting, the ones the idols were focused on, were tiny.

"Did he draw all of these?" Wonwoo wondered.

Minnie shrugged. "I guess so. They look handpainted." With a closer look, you were able to see each clear brush stroke that made the paintings only look even more alive than they already did.

"Oh, look!" The female member pointed at the back of the table. "Magnets." Originally, the two had planned to buy small souvenirs like that, thinking of putting them up on their fridge to make their new place look more lived in, but at that moment, as they were surrounded by beautiful artwork left and right, the choice became harder than they had originally thought it would be.

Still, they agreed magnets would make the most sense, so they settled on buying some of them along with one tiny landscape painting they couldn't take their eyes off of - where they would put it was a conversation for another time.

-

After enough time roaming the streets for a good while more, they found themselves back at the plaza again. The NANA Tour producers had gone ahead and secured a big table at one of the restaurants. They were slowly gathering the members one by one once they passed them, leading them towards the seating area where Wonwoo and Minnie were already chatting with the other producers, passing the time while waiting.

"Oooh," Jeonghan called out as his eyes found the two younger members. "You really did go shopping," he commented on the plastic bag the rapper was holding.

With her arms crossed, the girl glanced at the '95 Liner. "I told you he called me so we could look at souvenirs."

But he just shrugged. "I don't know, maybe you lied to me."

[Trust issues]

"Why would I lie to you about that?" She chuckled, only getting a cheeky grin and a wiggle of his eyebrows in return, which made her shake her head and turn her attention back to Hyojung, who was already laughing at their antics.

Settling down at the massive table they had booked for every Seventeen and NANA Tour member, Wonwoo started to proudly show off the trinkets he and Minnie had chosen to guy. She had just come back and was about to take a seat on the chair nearest her, right next to Dokyeom, who was sitting opposite Wonwoo, when the '97 Liner suddenly jumped up.

"Do you want to sit here?" He asked the girl, who just glanced at him in surprise.

She shook her head, motioning for him to sit back down again. "No, no, it's okay." Assuring him with a quick smile. He pulled the chair out for her, his eyes trained on her, only leaving her frame once she had properly sat down.

[The gentleman is back]

"Did you order yet?" She wondered, getting a 'yes' in return and before she was able to open her mouth again, DK continued,

"Just sodas. They're over there." Pointing at the variety of cans. Minnie didn't have to ask as he was already handing her a Coke Zero. Appreciatively with a grin, she took it and emptied it into the glass at her seat.

"Has Myungho not come yet?" Na PD asked into the round, making every member look around the table only to find no sight of the '97 Liner.

To Minnie's right, Jun was quick with the answer. "Myungho, Mingyu, and Woozi are over there still drinking!" Stretching his arm behind him to point at where the trio was enjoying another round of wine.

"Oh God," the female member chuckled as she glanced at them.

-

Suddenly, DK sighed.

Minnie's ears immediately perked up. "What?"

"I'm kinda disappointed," he admitted. "I only drank like five glasses."

From a little further down the table, Dino caught the disappointment.

"Guys," he called out, making both '97 Liners' heads turn. "Do you want to go one more round?"

The girl chuckled at the excitement coming from the youngest, ready to shake her head, but Dokyeom was already out of his seat.

"Are you not coming?" The vocalist looked down at the girl, who caught his gaze with expecting eyes.

"Are you really going?" Quickly changing her focus to the maknae who was already on his feet, wine glass tight in his grip.

"Of course," DK's smile beamed at her. "Come on." Nudging for her to follow them.

Once she didn't immediately react, he took a step closer to her, getting a hold of her elbow and pulling her up.

"Dokyeom-ah!" Minnie laughed out loud, not pushing him away, but standing up along with him to leave the table.

[Children, don't let peer pressure influence you]

[This is not a good example]

Now, all the attention was on the leaving trio. Na PD was the first to comment on it. "They're going again!"

"Noona didn't get to taste much, we're gonna show her around some more," the youngest explained, leaving the female idol to look at the rest of the group with wide eyes and a chuckle.

"It wasn't even my idea!"

"We'll be back before the food arrives," Dino promised before pushing the older members along with him, using this as a 'see you later'.

-

Just as they were getting their glasses refilled, familiar voices spoke up from behind them.

"Buongiorno."

Turning around, Minnie found Jun and Joshua, who seemed to have followed them, along with their wine glasses, ready for another round as well.

"OOH," the girl shouted out in excitement, "You too?"

Shua pushed past them to get to the front of the stall as Dokyeom, Minnie, and Dino were already sipping on the next round of wine.

"This here is the best one," the female member admitted, glancing at Jun, who decided to stay a bit behind.

"This is good?" He suddenly asked in English.

She nodded with a big smile decorating her face, "Very good, yes."

"Good, good."

[The alcohol is so good, they had to change languages]

"Here," she handed him her half-filled glass, exchanging it with his empty one.

"Oh- thank you," Jun accepted it, taking a sip right away while the girl continued to look at him, just waiting for his reaction. As soon as his eyebrows shot up, she knew, she was right - it was in fact the best one so far.

"Wow," the '96 Liner breathed out. "It's really good."

"I told you!" Jokingly, she smacked his upper arm.

After she got a refill into his glass as well, the group took a step to the side, each of them enjoying their wine slowly together. In silence, they took sip after sip, letting the background noise fill the silence.

"I'm so happy," Joshua admitted dreamily, his head tilted to the side. With a soft smile, Minnie gazed at him. She had joined him by his side, nudging his arm with her shoulder. "What do I do?"

"Enjoy the moment." She tried to let the scene not pass, closing her eyes to add to the feeling they were trying to create. Just a comforting atmosphere where each member was quietly sipping on their wine, inhaling the fresh, yet slightly damp and cooler Summer night air.

"I think I can drink 30 more glasses here," he admitted, getting a chuckle out of her. "Drunk on this atmosphere..."

With a grin, she interlocked their arms before pulling him ahead and calling out, "Let's go!" Lifting her now empty glass of wine as she was ready for the next one.

[Enthusiastic for more alcohol]

The laughter of the other members drowned out the background noise.

-

"Should we meet up with the others?"

The two had been walking around on their own for a bit when Joshua spotted Woozi, Mingyu, and Minghao, whom they had yet to see in quite a while. As it was slowly getting darker and they could only guess their food was soon to be served, they were on their way back to the restaurant. But wine was such an easy distraction.

"Where are they?" Minnie was looking in a different direction, not seeing Shua lift his glass when he met eyes with Mingyu, who, in return, found the girl before she could catch him. Sneaking up to her, while she was occupied with her re-fill, she didn't notice the massive statue that was suddenly behind her. Only when she started to turn to the side.

"AH-" she jumped in surprised when Mingyu lowered his head to meet her gaze. Minnie welcomed him with a hard punch to his shoulder. "Idiot..."

[SEVENTEEN loves each other]

Ignoring the show of annoyance - even if it wasn't serious - the '97 Liner threw his arm around the girl, pulling her into his side before snatching the glass from her grip.

"Didn't you drink enough already today?" She asked him, a slight teasing undertone to her voice.

The rapper gulped down everything that was inside before glancing down at her again. "Didn't you drink enough already today?"

[Bickering is an act of kindness]

"I didn't even drink that much!" She scoffed, letting herself get pulled towards the restaurant as the rest of the group, now with Minghao and Woozi in tow as well, decided to join the team again.

"But your face is really red," Gyu commented, making Minnie stop for a second, her hands flying up to her cheeks.

"Really?" Only getting a chuckle and a shake of his head in return, making her do the same before they continued their walk towards the reserved table.

-

Stomach filled, in a happy, slightly tipsy, and contained state, Minnie leaned back into her chair, gazing into thin air. A good hour has passed, in which the only thing the idols did was eat. And eat even more. And then drink some more too.

The voices of the members around her were getting quieter as she zoned out, getting pulled back into the presence at the sound of her name being called out by Youngseok.

"Huh?" She glanced up at him.

Na PD chuckled, "Everyone but you is eating so well."

With an almost pained look on her face, she clutched her stomach. "I already ate so much. I promise." And for once, she wasn't lying about it. "I'm really full from the wine."

[Alcohol... is... a meal...?]

"Minnie gets full from drinking quickly," Jeonghan added to her statement.

The producer nodded in understanding. "Did you drink too quickly?"

"I think so. But I feel good, that's all that matters." She grinned brightly. "And I'm happy."

"And you did eat well," Dokyeom commented with a proud smile.

To her right, Minnie found Vernon's head tipped down. Jun had left for the bathroom, giving her a perfect view of the younger rapper.

She turned to Wonwoo, pointing at the '98 Liner. "Is he really sleeping?" Wondering if maybe he had watched him fall into a slumber. Leaning slightly forward, the rapper tried to get a glimpse of the younger's eyes, but he sat back with a shrug.

"I don't know. I don't think so."

Carefully, she reached out, petting his shoulder. "Vernonnie-" He raked himself up and met her eyes immediately. "Oh- I thought you were sleeping."

"No," he chuckled, "But I'm really tired." He let a hand brush over his face, stopping to rub his eyes.

Minnie nodded, "Mm, same..." Knowing as soon as her head would hit a pillow, her eyes would shut and getting up in the morning would be a big challenge. But the quality of sleep would be absolutely worth it.

-

EP3-4. What are you doing?

Back at the AirBnB, some of the members gathered in the living room of the accommodation while waiting for further instructions. They knew the next point on their timetable was a game, yet what game they'd be playing was still a mystery to them.

Minnie found her place on the single stool in the corner between Jeonghan, who was occupying a single yellow chair and Joshua who was sharing the loveseat with Mingyu. Before she had sat down, she took the fan with S.Coups' face on it into her hands, now holding onto it tightly.

[Even when he's so far away, the leader is always close to the members]

Mindlessly, she looked around the room while catching some words from the '95 Liners' conversation.

At 9:30pm the members had separated into different rooms in the house, with Jun, Woozi, and Dokyeom still in the living room. The '97 Liner was singing along to the random tune the producer was playing, making up lyrics on the go. Minnie was listening to them from a few feet away. She had found an empty spot on the floor she could lie on while putting her legs up against the wall. All the alcohol and food had made her feel bloated and from what she remembered her friends once telling her, this was a quick way to get rid of that.

[Just another day in the life of a SEVENTEEN member?]

Wonwoo was coming back out of their room, eyes fixed on the phone in his hand as he walked towards the living room. Getting a glimpse of the girl in his peripheral view made him take a step back and glance down.

"Are you okay?"

Minnie opened her eyes and smiled. "Yep."

"Do you need help getting up?"

"No, I'm good. I'm just gonna lay here for a bit," she just answered, closing her eyes again.

Clearly unfazed by her antics, the rapper nodded. "Okay." Continuing his way into the living room to join Woozi on the left side, only that he sat down on the yellow couch. From the entryway, Na PD watched them with a fond smile, shaking his head when a chuckle fell from his lips.

For a few more seconds, the house was in complete silence other than Woozi and his guitar and Dokyeom's voice filling the ears of the people around them.

"Pumping and my butthole-" he suddenly sang, making the girl sit up and look to her right, watching the others stop in their movements. Even the producer had stopped playing.

The girl chuckled out loud, "What?"

"Why does your butthole come out?" Woozi asked, getting a round of laughter from the members in the room.

"The result of eating six dishes needs to have a result," Dokyeom explained honestly, only afterwards finding the female member who had now stood up but just stopped in the hallway, gazing at him almost disturbed.

"Oh-," he laughed out loud, "I'm sorry, Minnie!"

With a shake of her head, she joined the members, moving towards the side with the couch where Woozi and Wonwoo were sitting.

"It was good up to then," Wonwoo admitted, "and then you ruined it." Letting the girl settle down beside him.

Minnie pulled her legs up, letting them slightly lean onto the rapper's thighs as she sighed and let her head tilt back in exhaustion. Suddenly noticing the empty feeling in her back pocket, she wondered out loud.

"Where's my phone?" Speaking almost too quietly.

[Important for the young generation]

Not looking up from his own, Wonwoo told her, "On the bed. You put it there not too long ago."

"Oh yeah, right...," Her breathy voice was a clear indication of her tired she had become. Or maybe it was just the food and alcohol.

"Minnie's in a food coma right now. She doesn't know what she's doing or saying," Jun joked, making her straighten her head again.

"That's true. I feel so... like I just ate a ten-course meal."

"Did you really eat that much?" He asked her, getting a nod in return. But Wonwoo had a different answer,

"You didn't."

Minnie turned her head towards him. "Yes, I did. I ate enough."

"Enough, but not a lot," he argued.

She scoffed softly, almost rolling her eyes. "That's the same."

[Oh so nice]

"You drank a lot," Dokyeom added to the conversation, making her nod.

"That too," she admitted. "Just a lot all together." And threw her head back again with another grunt.

Only a few moments later, the group was asked to come together in the kitchen downstairs. With heavy steps, Minnie followed the guys, getting surprised by the volume of Wonwoo's loud voice as he called out for the rest.

She joined Vernon and Dino on the right side of the long table in the middle of the room, settling down right between them. The maknae was still carrying the crossbody bag with the 'pocket money' they were given, making her chuckle and point it out to him. The bag had become almost useless as S.Coups had stopped their overseas payment option since they were apparently spending too much money. The revelation made the girl roll her eyes back when they were told this news on the bus earlier. But that didn't mean that they wouldn't get another way of earning some money to spend.

Mingyu was the last to arrive, but once he joined the group, the 'rules' of the game were laid out for them. There were two separate rooms on the second floor where the NANA Tour staff was staying. By playing rock-paper-scissors, the order in which they would enter these rooms was decided. What was waiting for them there, wasn't revealed to them just yet.

Somewhere along the line, it was finally Minnie's turn to go upstairs, coming to sight with the DIY signs displaying 'Room 1' and 'Room 2'. Not leaving herself a long time to think, she went with the first room to her right.

"Ah, hyung!" She immediately found Na PD already waiting for her with a bright but somewhat cheeky smile on his lips.

[Happy to see her favourite producer]

"How are you, Minnie?" He motioned for her to sit down in front of him. "I heard you're playing a game downstairs."

The girl shook her head, her lips curled up in amusement. "I don't understand what they're doing, so I'm glad I called up right now." Her confession got a laugh out of the producer. With Jeonghan's support, DK created a game he called 'Electric Man' as he tried to entertain the other members while they were waiting for everyone to get the final instructions of what they were doing next. What was the premise of his self-made game? No one knew. How was it played? Also, no one really knew.

"Did they tell you what we're doing?"

"Dokyeom said something about missions," she recalled, "but I think it's probably Mafia, right?"

Na PD pointed at the cards that were spread out on the table in front of them. "You can pick a card and find out."

"Why are you making this so mysterious?" She squealed out, glancing over at the cameraman in the corner who just shrugged. Biting down on her lip, Minnie pretended to think for a split second before her hand landed on top of one card.

"Is this a good one?"

"Turn around and find out," Youngseok simply told her, making her huff out while holding back a grin.

"No," she changed her mind, reaching for a different card, "I'll take this one."

"Okay," he simply nodded and gave her the 'okay' to take a look at it.

Flipping it over, so only she could see it first, Minnie read the words on it. With a slight frown on her eyebrows, almost in pain, she looked up again.

"Can I change it?"

"What did you get?"

She showed the card to the producers and then moved it slightly so the camera could get a good shot of it.

'Make a package of Ramen and eat it with a member.'

"I'm really full. I can't eat anything anymore," she whined with a chuckle.

"You have to share it with a member, so they could technically eat more than you," Youngseok tried to compromise, not wanting to torture her by having to eat.

Minnie nodded with a soft sigh. "So I just have to do this?" She wondered, slightly confused by the challenge here.

[Are you sure it's that simple?]

"You have to do this mission and not get caught," he reminded her. The premise of it being able to earn some money for the next day was explained to her. Now suddenly everything made a lot more sense than before. Finishing her mission while also trying to stop others from achieving theirs. Easier said than done in a group of currently 13 people, all of whom are usually very attentive to the ones around them.

Minnie nodded, mostly to herself. "Okay." Grinning up at the producer, who had the same facial expression.

"Good luck," he told her as she was on her way back downstairs.

-

The playing field reached from the basement - including the sauna - up to the first floor where the living room and their individual rooms were, only that those and the outside area were banned from using while trying to finish their missions.

As soon as the producers gave them the 'go', the members jumped up from their seats. Minnie and Jeonghan were the only ones who decided to stay seated, knowing if they went ahead right away, there was a good chance, they'd fail.

Dokyeom filled the room with his singing, making Joshua suddenly join in while Vernon just stood on the side, glancing at him with an unreadable facial expression. Minnie's eyes fell on him. Feeling her gaze on him, he turned towards her, giving her the same look.

"What?" She asked him. "What's going on?" Still not knowing why he had stopped in his tracks.

"I'm out," he chuckled.

Her eyes widened immediately. "Already?! What happened?" But he just shook his head and went to find one of the producers to ask for further instructions. He didn't even last a second.

The female member decided to glance around, trying to find some suspicious behaviour. With all the turmoil, it was hard to tell. Most of the members were just walking around, trying to entertain themselves, or at least it seemed like that.

The loud voices coming from the kitchen caught her attention, but what made her stop and stare was Dokyeom who had fished out a Ramen package and looked like he was about to make it. Quick on her feet, she rushed over to the producers, trying to find Na PD.

"Hyung!" He turned around when she called out for him. "What if I also make the Ramen with a member and then eat it together?"

But he shook his head. "You have to make it on your own and then share it."

[Rules are strict]

Minnie pressed her lips together and muttered a quiet, "Okay," before strolling over to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" She asked her fellow '97 Liner as if she couldn't see it.

"Ramen," he showed her the package. "Do you want some too?"

"No, thank you, I'll make my own." She simply said, about to brush past him, when his voice stopped her.

"Didn't you say you were full from earlier?" True to his attentive self Minnie could curse at that very moment.

[Very attentive members]

"Yeah...," she trailed off. "But there's always room for Ramen."

"True," he shrugged and moved on.

Out of the same cupboard as him, Minnie got a package out and joined him by the kitchen island. Some of the members had found Dokyeom's act of cooking suspicious but now that the girl was technically just joining him, no one was questioning her. Almost no one.

While she was looking around for some vegetables and other things she could add, her eyes found Mingyu, who was currently filling a metal bowl with sugar.

"What are you doing?" She eyes him suspiciously, sending him a grin. His reaction told her everything she needed to know. The rapper snatched the bowl off the counter and tried to hide it behind him.

"Leave it!"

"Wh- I was just asking!" She argued back, not able to hold back her laughter. He most definitely wasn't one of the good liars of the group. Mindlessly, he put the bowl back, focusing on what she was holding, which was a carton of eggs. Eggs that he would need.

"What are you doing with them?"

Her lips curled up into a wicked grin. "Why?" She raised her eyebrows provokingly. "Do you need them?"

Mingyu tried to reach for them, but for once her reflexes were quick enough to dodge out of the way.

"Ha ha!" She threw at him before taking a few steps back. Thanks to his height and much longer limbs, it didn't take long for him to catch up to her, framing Minnie in the kitchen corner. She held the carton far away from him, almost leaning backwards against the counter.

"Tell me what you need them for."

"No," he argued. "Just give me a few and you can have the rest."

Before she could snap back at him, Dokyeom's voice rang through the room. "Has anyone seen the eggs?" Distracted by the question, Minnie's grip slightly lightened, giving Mingyu the perfect opportunity to snatch them out of her hands easily.

"HEY!" She jogged after him, ready to fight, but he suddenly put them back on the counter, now focused on Joshua, who was walking away from the kitchen, taking the bowl of sugar with him.

"Hyung!" Mingyu called out as he went after him.

Without wasting another moment, Minnie took the eggs and brought them back to where she would need them.

In the background, the '97 Liner was still fighting for his bowl with one of the older members, who was very keen on not giving it back. That's when Mingyu's patience snapped, making a shout out to him, using words most definitely not appropriate for TV.

Minnie gasped out loud. "Mingyu just cursed!" She pointed at him, eyeing the producer, who just started laughing on the other end of the room.

[Calling out bad behaviour]

"Hey! Why are you cursing?" Dokyeom, who was still next to her, jumped into the conversation, ending the question by dragging it out and creating another melody. His antics got a chuckle out of the girl and Joshua, who was still running from Mingyu, who would not stop chasing him.

"Dokyeom and Minnie are making Ramen, stop them first!" The '97 Liner tried to convert the attention of his fellow members, who glanced up at him with big eyes.

"Don't drag us into your *shit*!" The girl argued, immediately getting a soft punch to her upper arm.

[Minnie said some pretty words we had to bleep out]

"You can't curse either," DK chuckled when he noticed that the girl had only just realised what she had said. A hand immediately flew up to cover her mouth.

"Now look at you, you punk!" Mingyu pointed a strict finger at her. "You're cursing too!"

[Nice words from a nice member]

"And look who I got it from!" Coyping his stance periodically.

In the meantime, Joshua strutted over to the kitchen island, motivated by the words of the younger rapper to investigate what the two '97 Liners were doing. Snatching it right out of Minnie's hands, Shua grabbed the uncooked noodles and walked away.

"YA!" The girl shouted after him, taking off in a jog to catch up with him.

"Ey, hyung!" Dokyeom continued. "Why are you taking out ramyeon? We want to eat it."

"Why are you cooking it all of a sudden?" The '95 Liner looked at the younger members expectedly while the girl was desperately trying to get a hold of her food from his hands. But damn his quick reflexes. "Do you have a mission together?" With a hand on her shoulder, Joshua made Minnie stop.

With a pained facial expression, she whined at him, "What are you talking about?! How could we have the same mission when we went to the rooms separately! I don't even know what his mission is, I just wanted to eat this because I saw it and felt like it!" Her cries seemed to make him buckle as he put his arms down and placed the noodles back on the countertop.

Swiftly, they were able to move around the kitchen, Minnie grabbing her own pot to fill with water finally and heat it up by the stove.

Suddenly, Mingyu's groans filled the room.

"What did you do?" She glanced to her left, watching him pick the bowl back out of the sink where it had fallen into.

"Nothing, nothing," he quickly brushed it off and went to continue, but the girl blocked his way. "Minnie-ya," he hissed at her. "Move."

She shook her head. "What are you doing? Is it your mission?"

"Shut up," he rolled his eyes with a chuckle and gently pushed her to the side, making her giggle. Dokyeom sneaked a quick look at the two, laughing at the duo.

"Mingyu is really suspicious about the bowl," he commented.

Minnie nodded in agreement, "We have to stop him," her eyes not leaving his form as he moved around the room. As soon as DK tried to get the stove to work, her attention was back to what was in front of her. Since it worked with gas rather than with electricity, the members faced their next challenge.

"Wait," Minnie told him. "Raise the flame," she motioned for him to move to the side slightly so she could change the strength with one of the regulators. Just as a small flame let itself be seen, Mingyu passed them. With a quick blow to the stove, the fire got extinguished and the other two '97 Liners were back to the start.

"You f-" The girl lifted her hand, ready to curse at the rapper, but already knowing her well enough, he caught her arm mid-air.

"Don't curse," he grinned at her, making her only even more annoyed.

[He's doing our job, thank you <3]

She pushed him away. "Leave us alone," whining out loud seemed to entertain the other members as Dino's laughter rang through their ears.

"What are you guys doing?" He stopped by her side, his arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her in closer to let his chin rest on her shoulder.

"Mingyu's being mean." Her pout got an eye-roll from the man in question and another chuckle from the maknae while DK was still focused on getting the stove to work.

"I can't do it!" He called out in disappointment, making the two younger members turn around while holding onto each other - Dino was clearly not thinking of letting go that soon. Minnie patted his back and brought him with her as she got to work on her portion of Ramen noodles. Easier said than done when suddenly the two packages they had opened had disappeared into thin air.

"Huh?!" The female member looked stunned at where they were last seen. "Didn't we...," she thought out loud, glancing around in confusion. "Dokyeom, where did you put the Ramen?"

"Right there," he pointed at the now completely empty space on the counter. "Where's it gone?"

"Mingyu!" The girl spat at her fellow '97 Liner, who stood a few feet away from them. His head shot up, meeting her furious eyes.

"What? I didn't do anything!" He immediately stated.

"Don't lie! Where did you put it?"

"W- I didn't do it! What even are you talking about?" Completely stunned, he held her gaze.

Dokyeom's hand reached out to touch his arm. "Hyung, you're a really bad liar."

Mingyu scoffed with an eye roll. "But I'm not lying."

"You're annoying!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Liar!" Minnie and Mingyu went back and forth, completely ignoring what the other members around them were doing.

[A normal day for SEVENTEEN]

Woozi and Jeonghan were still walking around the space, having a fight of their own, Dokyeom was nowhere to be seen and Joshua seemed to have been minding his own business.

"Guys!" Suddenly Minghao's voice rang through the room. "I'm done!"

In surprise, everyone's eyes fell on him. He had just come out of the left corner of the room, clearly dripping wet with his hair slicked back and a towel thrown over his shoulder.

"What did you have to do?" Minnie asked.

Mingyu took a different guess. "Did you have to wash your hair?"

"No, I'm done if I go into the sauna," Hao enlightened them. A round of 'aah' came from the members in return.

-

"Seungkwan is supposed to do Calligraphy!" Hoshi came sprinting down the stairs, bursting into the kitchen, interrupting another argument that had broken out between Mingyu and Minnie as she tried to get the bowl out of his tight grip. The interruption made her loosen her grip, and he was able to pull away, making her stumble back slightly, only for him to reach out and catch her arm, steadying her.

"Calligraphy?" She asked again, getting a nod from the '96 Liner who was still chuckling.

"Wonwoo's trying to take his stuff away and hide it." And just the mere imagination of that picture got all of the members in the room to laugh. Some wanted to see it with their own eyes and rushed up the stairs, leaving the kitchen fairly empty. Out of the corner of her eye, Minnie saw something colourful peek out from the shelf. Taking a step closer, she found the Ramen packages she had been looking for underneath a cake bell. Not even caring about who had put it there, she took the quiet time to get them back and head over into the kitchen, even forgetting about Mingyu who was moving around the room to find a moment of peace to finish his own mission.

[The mission might have been too easy]

Standing by the stove, water boiling and noodles cooking, Jeonghan and Woozi suddenly joined her. Secretively, they moved into the corner of the kitchen. As they spoke in hushed tones, the girl had a hard time catching what they were saying, but she was able to make out an important part.

"This is kind of vague, so I will protect you," he promised the group's producer.

"You're protecting him of what? Huh?" Minnie glanced over, her eyebrows raised with a smirk playing on her lips. "What are you guys doing?"

"Should I help you too?" Jeonghan's sudden question made her frown.

She shook her head. "I don't trust you."

[Hurtful words]

Right at that moment, Joshua came back, passing the girl and heading towards the two other members.

"They're being weird!" Minnie pointed out, only making him even more suspicious than he already was. With Shua's attention now on the older members, she was able to concentrate back on the noodles in front of her. She added the soup package and cracked an egg into the middle. Focusing on her own task at hand, she blended out most of what was happening around her. Dokyeom had been chasing Mingyu around the room. Only when the rapper's moans of pain and clanking of metal erupted did she turn around to take a look.

"What happened?" Her eyes were trained on him now limping towards the kitchen. "What did you do?" Taking a step closer she reached out to where Mingyu was clutching his knee, hunched over, clearly hurting from what had just happened.

"Be careful," she somewhat hissed at him while Dokyeom continued to worry, with a soft laugh lacing his voice.

"Are you okay?" But the answer to his question came quick when Mingyu suddenly took off in a sprint to the other side of the room with DK hot in his tracks, leaving the girl, once again, alone. Shrugging and with a deep breath, she went back to the stove, deciding to ignore the rest of their antics.

"Minnie," Woozi's voice made ears perk up.

"Huh?" She turned towards him, finding him with the screen of his phone facing her. With a few steps closer, he stopped right next to her.

"Do you want to say 'hi' to Carats?"

"To Carats?" Her focus was still on the pot in front of her, she didn't realise that she would be seeing herself on his screen as he was currently doing a livestream on Weverse.

"I'm live right now," he explained.

"Huh?" Confused she glanced over, surprising herself by watching her face stare right back at her. "Oh- hello everyone!" She leaned in closer, waving to the camera with a big smile. "Was that your mission?" She asked before another realisation hit her. Quickly, she covered the camera. "Are they even allowed to see this?"

With a chuckle, Woozi pushed her hand away, so the fans could see them again.

"If I'm supposed to do it, of course, they can see us."

Minnie sent another smile at them, "Hiii."

As soon as Hoshi came in closer, the group's producer asked him if he would want to be in the frame as well, now moving the phone to film him and away from the female member.

-

To see if it was finally done, Minnie grabbed a pair of wooden chopsticks they had gotten from the producers, dipping them into the pot and gathering some of the noodles. After a quick few blows, she got to taste them, nodding to herself happily. Just when she thought, she'd finally be done and could get to eating them and finishing her mission, Dokyeom came back again.

"Minnie, how did you turn on the stove?" With a lighter in his hand, he was clearly struggling, not knowing the next thing about a gas stove. Quickly, she helped him, not even thinking about this being a possible mission of his since it was hers already, she left him in the kitchen and moved over to the dining table. Minghao had followed her, claiming the seat next to her.

"Is this your mission?" He quietly asked her, keeping his voice low enough so no other member could hear them. With her lips pressed together, she looked at him, shaking her head. But Minghao chuckled, seeing right through her.

"Please," she whined. "Here, you can have some. Just please let me do this in peace." She held up the chopsticks with enough noodles for him to slurp and pushed the pot closer to him.

He leaned in, but before opening his mouth, he stopped for a second but decided to just take it, not in the mood to ruin this for her.

-

Hoshi had come down the stairs into the kitchen, seeing Minnie by the table, still painfully trying to finish the pot of Ramen while the two '95 Liners and Dokyeom were occupied by the stove.

"Is everyone already out?"

"Huh?" Jeonghan looked at him confused, "No, Minnie's still doing hers and Dokyeom too."

"Minnie?" The '96 Liner turned towards the girl, sitting down opposite of her with a big grin on his lips. "Is this your mission?"

She decided not to say anything but just nodded.

Slowly but surely, Hoshi reached out, obviously trying to pull the pot towards him. It didn't take long for the female member to catch onto his action.

"Just take it." She brushed it off. "I can't anymore, I'm so full." Minnie let herself fall into the chair with a heavy breath.

"Really? Just like that?" He wondered, taking the chopstick between his fingers.

The girl nodded. "I wanted to finish it, but I can't. I don't care."

[Smart]

Not caring much about the truth behind her words, Hoshi dug into the rest of the meal, while Minnie was biting down on her lip. Holding back her grin about the fact that she had just managed to achieve her secret mission without anyone knowing and with Hoshi believing she had given up that easily.

Looking around the room, her hands on top of her stomach, she noticed something.

"Has anyone seen Mingyu?" Only getting a shrug in return from the member sitting across from her while the other three were talking too loud amongst themselves to hear her. Remembering the last place she had seen him run off to, she decided to take a chance and go look for him.

In the left corner of the room was another door leading to what she had yet to discover, only knowing that Minghao came back from exactly there, soaking wet.

Pushing it open, she came to sight of the small pool right in front of her.

"Woah-" Movement out of the corner of her eye made her stop and turn her head. "What are you doing?" Watching Mingyu crouched down on the floor, the bowl tight in his grip and a whisk in the other hand. She chuckled at the sight while he just begged her to keep quiet.

"Finishing my mission," he explained to her.

"But what is it?" She took a step closer to look into the bowl, frowning at whatever was inside of it.

"I have to make a meringue."

"Meringue?" She repeated, unsure if she understood him correctly. "The stuff that goes into macarons?" He nodded his head quickly.

In the meantime, the door had opened again, letting Jeonghan in, who found them immediately. He didn't even have to ask what they were doing.

"He has to make meringue," Minnie let him know, taking a step to the side to let him fully in. As they both just stood there watching Mingyu whisk hastily, the girl felt a finger poke her side. She glanced down, but right up again, seeing the oldest member nudge his head towards the pool. A wide smirk spread on her lips, but she didn't need to be told twice. Watching the rapper intensively, she could tell how focused he was, not even noticing as she got closer again, now with some water in the cup she created with her hands. With a quick motion, she managed to dunk some of the water into the bowl before Mingyu could even realise it and pull it away.

"YA!" He shouted out, pushing her back. Not able to react quick enough, Minnie didn't get away far enough as he leaned forward, putting his arm into the water and splashing it right at her, only with much more force and amount.

"STOP, YOU-"

[At this point, we'd like the remind Carats and viewers that SEVENTEEN truly loves each other]

She shouted, giggling as she tried to get away, but bumped into Jeonghan. He switched positions with her, now copying Mingyu to throw some of the water on him. He repeated it while the rapper just stood in the corner, hoping to somewhat shield his bowl. Deciding he was drenched enough, the older member moved to the side while the '97 Liner got back to the water, ready to splash it back at the mischievous duo.

With a loud chuckle, Minnie took a few steps forward and just started to do the same, sudden laughter from her and the '95 Liner filling the room while Mingyu was still grunting in annoyance. From the other side of the pool, Jeonghan tried to help Minnie, splatter even more water onto the younger member.

"Mingyu, do you think you'll be able to make Meringue?" Giggling along with his words while the girl tried to contain her laughter.

Once they noticed he had officially given up by the way his shoulder sunk down, the splashing stopped.

"Ah, guys..." Mingyu sighed out loud. With a sweet chuckle, Minnie got closer to him, throwing her hands around his waist to hug him from behind. He turned around, making her loosen her grip and take a step back when he sat down the bowl, thinking he would just take a short second of peace. But before they could even blink, Mingyu put the bowl into the water, throwing the much bigger amount of water right at her before dipping it in again and making Jeonghan his second victim. Her screech could probably even be heard from next door.

"MINGYU!"

Minnie rubbed her eyes, not even thinking about her hair at the moment that was probably sticking to her forehead and all over the place, making her look like a wet puppy. The rapper managed to push past them while Jeonghan snatched the bowl into his own hands, filling it up and waiting behind the door that Mingyu was holding onto tightly from the other side of it. Getting it to open just slightly the oldest member threw the water out, not even looking if it would hit him directly - that just happened out of pure luck, making the duo laugh out loud.

[Fun day at the indoor waterpark]

Minnie opened the door fully, now revealing a fully drenched Mingyu in front of her, but she wasn't looking much drier either. He sighed heavily while the girl continued to giggle, following him back into the kitchen, where wide eyes were waiting for them.

"What?" Woozi couldn't stop looking at the three fully submerged in water as if they had just gone swimming with their clothes on.

Mingyu glanced behind him at the girl who was cheekily looking at him.

"Careful." He pointed at her shirt before heading further into the kitchen. Glancing down at her shirt, Minnie realised her white top had turned quite sheer. With her fingers, she managed to get it from sticking too tightly onto her body as she continued to go upstairs to change.

On their way up, Hoshi came from the other direction, stopping to look at her and Jeonghan, who trailed behind.

"What did you do?"

"Making Mingyu fail," the older member giggled, making the girl chuckle.

Wonwoo stood up at the sound of their laughter, putting the guitar he had been clinging onto back on the couch.

"Mingyu's out?" He wondered, getting a nod from the girl and a verbal confirmation from Jeonghan in return.

"Good job, guys." His smile made theirs only widen. Then, he suddenly came to sight with the state of their clothes.

"Wh- Guys!" He chuckled, pointing at Jeonghan and stopping the girl by putting his hand on her elbow. "You did this to make Mingyu fail?"

"Yeah," Minnie told him excitedly.

"Wait-," the maknae looked at them with big eyes. "What did you do?"

"We put water into his meringue," Jeonghan explained.

"He told me to do it!" The female member excused herself by pointing at the older member, getting the infamous 'hehe' out of him. She headed over to her own room, ready to change as she wanted to stop clutching onto her shirt to not let every camera catch just how see-through it had gotten.

Taglist: @waosobii @chaebb @lunarxsun @hoe4wonwoo @kimhyejin3108 @soobzao @billboard-singer @cosmicwintr @zwiehe @alixnsuperstxr @angie-x3 @smooore @allthings-fandoms @lllucere @iamawkwardandshy

[trancylovecraft]

Hello Girlie! I saw that your requests are open (even with the hiatus, take care of yourself:3) so, I wanted to know if it's okay if I make my own? From Yandere Lucifer Morningstar's general headcanons(from Hazbin Hotel), perhaps the reader could take Eve's place, being the "first sinner" or/and converted demon like Lilith.

If you're already maxed out with Requests, that's fine! I will order in another time, take all the time you need❤️You can ignore this if that's the case

(HAZBIN) YANDERE! LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR x EVE! READER: Headcannons

RECEIPT ✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

BARISTA'S NOTE: HEYYYY GIRLIE!!! THANKS SO MUCH!! i love that u requested him cause he's one of my favourites (i had a lot of fun with this req, LOVE THE CONCEPT) and would be if it wasn't for Carmilla :]. FANDOM: Hazbin Hotel

Thank you for ordering!

Come again soon!

Lucifer Morningstar! King of Hell, King of Pride and one goofy motherfucker!

Also a dangerous yandere to have.

I headcannon Lucifer as a Desperate, Possessive, Protective and Worshiping yandere.

Desperate in the way that Lucifer is just so lonely. Even when he did have something with Lilith in the beginning (They never got married in this scenario), It never felt connected. Even as the ugly duckling amongst the angels, He loves you because maybe.. Just maybe, You think like him, Maybe you love him. And he NEEDS you to love him too.

Possessive in the way that this ties into his Desperation, So enamoured and focused on getting you to love him that he's bitter towards anyone who you even glance at. You're his, Lucifer gets antsy if you even look another persons way (God forbid, Adams.). You should look at him, Listen to him and his ideas.

Protective in the way that he's terrified of losing you. You're still only mortal, And if you die then you'll fall into hell (If not, Heaven) and even Lucifer knows that's no place for you to be! You're too good for a place like that, He needs to make sure you'll be fine with him down there.. Especially with all the sinners running about.

And finally, Worshiping in the way that he just adores you. I mean, Come on. You're gorgeous, Intelligent, Curious, Brave and everything else he could ever want! How could he not worship you so?

So to establish you as an Eve! Reader, We're gonna go off my interpretation of Eve since we haven't seen her in the show yet.

You are you, Created from Adams left rib while the actual Eve was created from Adam's right.

God made both you and Eve to give Adam a choice of wife, Whichever one he chose would stand at his side for all of eternity. However the one that he didn't choose..

Well, You weren't quite sure what would happen to them, But you knew that you didn't want it to be you.

Eve was made beautiful, She was made pure and orderly. In other words, Eve was subserviant. Though you loved her like a sister, She was very much unlike you..

You on the other hand was made intelligent, Curious of the natural world and adventurous to the last letter. You craved knowledge, You craved to experiment.

In other words you were messy, Subserviant not to man but to your carnal desire to learn. But both you and your sister knew very well of what happened to Adam's first wife, So you knew that you had to go along with it all.

Lucifer came across you one day when he gazed upon the garden of Eden. He was startstruck when he saw you bathe within one of Eden's many springs, Washing your body on your lonesome while humming some original symphonic tune.

Lucifer was lured to you by your song, Him being an avid musician was not immune to your call. But he was even more entranced once he saw you in person, Your body only a silhouette in the fireflies that danced around you.

Of course by now he had been banished, So he watched you in the form of a snake in a tree.

Lucifer thought you were stunning at first sight, Watching as you bathed yourself in springwater and sing your siren's song. And he felt awkward, Nervous to approach you especially after his banishment.

So that's all he did, He just watched.

But that changed once you turned you caught eye of him too, Pausing your bath once you saw the pretty white snake hanging from the tree just a bit away from your spring.

Sure, Eden has a lot of animals, Snakes included but you've never seen one with such gorgeous white scales like this one. So you're curious, Beginning to churn your way through the waist-deep waters towards him.

Lucifer instantly starts panicking, You're actually approaching him?! As much as he does want to talk to you, He certainly hasn't gained the courage yet!

You make your way over and finally reach him with a small smile on your face, Reaching your arms out you bring the snake into your hands with suprising ease. You look at it closely, Smiling.

"Hello there.. How'd you get all the way out here?"

Lucifer near melts in your hands once he hears your spoken voice, Just as angelic as your singing. He can barely do anything in your hold, A warm, Passionate feeling starting to burst inside of him

"..I- Erm-"

You squeak, Dropping the snake onto the ground like you had touched hot coals. You weave back in the water, Staring dead at the coiling snake. It had spoken, Human language.

You ask who he was, Shocked once Lucifer speaks up and stammers while telling you that he was an Angel. He apologises profusely, Saying sorry for intruding on your bath.

You calm down once you find out he's an Angel, One of the good guys, Right? You hadn't met many angels, And its not like you had any experience of deception anyways.

Besides, His mannerisms were rather charming despite how awkward they sounded. You giggled as you apologised for dropping him, Reaching down to pick him up once more.

Lucifer and you talked for the entire night, Too enraptured in conversation for either of you to sleep.

He talked about the stars, The seas and the sands. How he himself had saw their creation and marveled at their beauty. You listened intently, Soaking it all in while your eyes gleamed at him like the stars under the night sky. Lucifer took pride, His stammers getting less frequent as he went on.

He also spoke of his ideas, His plans for the future and his vision for humanity. And you actually listened, You agreed, You suggested and spoke of your own ideas and he agreed in full. Wide eyed, Almost as if you read his mind.

And in that moment, You were just.. Perfect.

He had to leave once your sister came looking for you, Not wanting to be seen by her. Unfortunately he hadn't told you his name, But he supposed it was better like that so it wouldn't be known that he, Lucifer had been meddling in human affairs once more.

But he came back, He had to, You gave him such a good feeling. It was like you knew him, Like you agreed with him and accepted him as he was.

He couldn't give that up, No, He needed to come back.

And he did, For the next few weeks he returned to you at night when you were alone. In the form of a snake, One easily able to hide his presence. He spoke to you, Always excitedly hurrying once he had a new idea or invention he wanted to show you.

And you listened, You always did. He listened too, Once you told him of your situation with Adam. You lamented how much you just wanted to explore, To not be tied down by the weight of a husband.

Lucifer sympathised with you once you told him you had no choice, That Adam needed to marry you or you'd be tossed away like leftovers.

Lucifer started to bring you artefacts, Things you asked for and ones you wanted to study. Lucifer always stammered once you kissed the top of his head, If he was in his humanoid form he would be red from head to toe, Something he was glad you could not see.

He took you around the garden, Showing you the highs and the lows of this place. He showed you the rivers and the fields, The mountains and the valleys. Everywhere you could possibly go, Including the border of the gardens.

You thought he was funny, His jokes always brought a hearty laugh out of you. Lucifer always made an effort to tell more in your presence.

Lucifer wishes he was in his humanoid form so he could play his violin for you. Your voice is so beautiful and you sing to him every night, He wishes he could do the same for you.

You affectionately refer to him as simply just "My Angel" since you have a personal belief that he was sent to guide you. Lucifer doesn't correct you despite your beliefs, It gets him more praise that he desperately craves anyways.

Whenever you were away however, He still kept a close eye on you. Especially when you were around that sleaze of a man, Adam. Lucifer didn't like Adam, Especially after he had met you.

He watched as Adam was free to put an arm around your shoulders, Eve having the other. The way Adam boasted about himself, How he kept loudly asking which one of you should be his wife.

You didn't like Adam, But you needed to be wed so you weren't thrown away. So you kept tossing your hair like Eve always did, Laughed at his stupid jokes and leaned just a bit closer into him.

And it made Lucifer furious.

It boiled up in him like a stewing pot. Couldn't he see that he was making you uncomfortable? Couldn't he see that he wasn't good enough for you? Lucifer doesn't blame you, But hell, Does he wish you looked his way.

He wanted to save you from this, Get you away from Adam so that he can have you all to himself you can be happy! That glint in your eyes is gone, He needs you to get it back.

But Lucifer can't do anything. With the close eyes of the angels above watching them, There's no way he could do anything too drastic. As much as he wants to help, As much as he wants to snap Adams neck with his own bare hands. There's not much he can do..

But Lucifer is sure that once Adam chooses Eve, He'll be there to pick you up and sweep you down into hell where he can finally show his true form to you entirely.

He's sure of it.

But one day he had gotten distracted, You were with Adam so he hadn't been present at the time. But when he went to look back, Watch over you like he usually does.. He stops.

Eve is sobbing on her knees, Full on wails as Adam tenderly holds your hands. Lucifer realises what had happened by the look of uncertainty on your face, The way you looked at Eve with sympathy and fear.

Adam had chosen you.

Lucifer is shocked, He's pulling out clumps pf hair and slinging curses. Its unlike him, He sounded like a wild animal. He was so sure that Adam, As shallow as he was, Would choose the blonde beauty of Eve.

But he had chosen you, Not being as shallow as he had thought. Adam tells all the angels that he has officially chosen you, That you would be his wife. His chosen to be wed.

Lucifer can barely hold back anymore as he starts breaking down in an anguished rage. How could this happen? Aren't you gonna object to this? What about him, Did your time with him mean nothing?

But you just nodded slowly, Agreeing to be his wife.

It takes Lilith to calm him down, Rushing to his side as he starts hyperventilating, Trying not to break anything more. She speaks to him, Tells him of another way he can get you back.

And its a good idea.

You're wandering in the garden once more, Searching for your sister after she ran off sobbing. She'd be tossed out of the garden, You don't want that, You love her so you need to find her to see if there's a solution for everybody.

But you find your way to a deeper part of the garden, Where you were forbidden to go. You didn't even realise until you reached a clearing, Finally spotting the massive tree in the middle, Higher than all the rest with beautifully ripe fruit hanging from them.

You realise your mistake, You go to turn around but before you do you hear the voice of your friend, The angel.

You spot Lucifer coming down from the branches, Beckoning you over with that same excited voice, The one that you trusted with your life. And despite all of your instincts yelling no, You go towards him.

He greets you as cheery as ever, Slithering down from the branches yet he still kept a good distance. You tell him that you didn't mean to wander this far into forbidden land, Thinking that he was The Angel sent to bring you back.

Lucifer just shrugs it off though, Telling you that it's no big deal. You raise a brow before he beckons you forward, Congratulating you on your marriage to Adam that went by quicker than it should have.

You thank him nervously but tell him you have to go, But before you can leave he calls you back, Informing you that he came here to give you an engagement present. Something of his own making, Something he had worked really hard on..

You still trust him but the twisting feeling in your stomach gets worse once he presents to you a ruby red apple from behind the tree. Your eyes light up at it however, It was the most gorgeous apple you had ever seen. No blemishes or freckle out of place.

It was mesmerizing like a hypnotists watch, Your eyes kept on the carmine shine. You didn't even notice the gleeful giggling coming from Lucifer, Like a little girl on her birthday about to open her first present.

You took the apple into your hands once offered and despite all your better judgement, You placed it upon your lips before taking a bite into its skin. You chew, It's sweet, So sweet. It was the most sugary taste your tongue had held, Yet the pungency of the sour aftertaste came like a storm surge.

You snap out of it, Watching as the ruby red apple in your hand starts to rot away in record time. Mould and maggots already starting to fester, You scream and drop it to the ground, But by the time it hits it had already withered to the core.

You feel weird, You feel horrid. Suddenly you become aware of your naked form, Instantly rushing to cover your parts you start to yell at Lucifer, Begging him to tell you what you had done, What that apple really was. What spell had he put you under to take a bite of that thing? How stupid you were-!

But you snap your head up and the snake was no more, Instead a man with ivory skin and rosy cheeks. Platinum blonde hair slicked back with the most giddy grin you had ever seen on anyone before. Your eyes widen, And suddenly the knowledge of who you've been talking to hits you like a freight train.

He tries to talk to you but he can't get a word in. You scream, You cry, You wail. Accusing him with his own name, Lucifer. You start to hyperventilate, Backing away with him with a horrid stomach ache while storms brew in the sky above.

Lucifer tells you that its okay! He's found a way for you to get out of your marriage, He just tells you to listen to him and that it will be okay!

But you don't, A sudden chill runs through Eden and you know in your core that its not just you who has felt the consequences of your actions. Storms brew, Critters around you start to get violent. You yell and scream once he comes close, Trying to bring you into embrace.

Lucifer is taken aback, This isn't how he imagined it. You were suppose to listen to him, Like you always did. But instead you just kept wailing and wailing calling him a monster, The devil that he was.

You're suppose to listen to him, Him. To his ideas, To his words, To anything that he says. So why aren't you lending him an ear now?! He just doesn't get it.

Wings sprout from his back, An arm lunges around your waist and constricts around you like the snake that he was. You can't struggle in his hold, His power too strong as he raises you both into the air with the flap of his wings.

The storms are high, Dark clouds above and winds so whipping it could cause lacerations. Lucifer tells you that you're coming down with him now, That you will be siphoned away to hell with him forever.

Lucifer thinks your just overreacting, And hey! He's been there too and its not like he's actually angry at you, No, Just at the people around you. He knows you'll understand why he's doing this, That's why he tells you what he had done to your sister.

You go deathly silent once he tells you he's got Eve as collateral, When he explains with that same awkward yet now manic demeanour that you were so use to before. He says that he won't hesitate to take her out if that's what it'll take for you to listen, All while smiling like this is an everyday affair.

You and your sister had always had a rocky relationship, Especially since you were put in competition with each other from day one. But you loved her and she loved you, You cared for each other when you could despite your frequent quarrels.

So you had no choice but to agree, A smile lights up on Lucifer's face as he places a chaste yet stomach churning kiss upon your lips. It's nasty, Disgusting. You're still sobbing profusely as your altitude drops, Your climate becoming much hotter and humid.

You feel your body contorting, Mutilating itself. Breaking down and building back up into a wretched caricature of your former self. Horns, Talons, Features of creatures you hadn't even seen before coming upon you.

You scream through the pain, But Lucifer keeps a hand firmly placed on the back of your head. Cold comfort in your new inferno as he tells you how excited he is to finally have you with him full time.

You barely listen, Your body was not yours anymore, It didn't look as such. So how could you listen to his giddy ramblings? The ones you so loved to listen to before..

You shut the eyes your new body had melded, Falling into the darkness of your mind.

Desperately hoping that this was all a dream while the devil caressed your cheek.

[samandcolbyownme]

This one shot is going to have reader being choked with a chain necklace, PLEASE DONT READ IF YOURE UNCOMFORTABLE!

Also, if you haven't read part 1, I suggest doing so before reading this part! 

Summary: request in the comments of part one - "omg maybe you can continue?? pleasee than jake finds out. or maybe that johnnie goes live again and y/n walks by and the chat sees her neck and asks in to it?" 

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, CHOKING with a metal chain, hair pulling, biting, scratching, oral (m rec), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, general filth 

Word count: 2.8K | not edited 

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

Your fingers grazed over the slightly faded bruises from a few days ago. You're actually surprised they haven't gone away yet, same as Johnnie. 

"Whatcha doing?" Johnnie asks and you jump slightly, "God damn, I need to put a bell on you." 

He laughs, smiling as he walks up behind you, "Still haven't gone away, huh?" 

He reaches up to move your hair, looking at the yellowish brown color of the bruising, "Taking its good old time I guess." 

You laugh, spinning around to face him, "I guess so." You hook your finger over the same chain that was used to wrap around your neck, "What are your plans today?" 

You look up at him, and he smirks, "I talked Jake into doing a stream with me." 

You raise your brows, nodding, "Ah, sounds fun." 

"Yeah, I don't know what we're doing. Jake said he's bringing something over, so I'm kind of scared." 

You laugh, "Yeah, you never know what the man has planned." You slide your hands up his chest, "So I was thinking.." 

"Oh, I like when you think." Johnnie laughs softly and you twirl the chain around your finger, "maybe when you're done streaming.." you bite your lip and look up at him.

He tilts his head, "Mm, I see. You don't want those bruises to go away, do you?" 

You shrug, "I think of it.." you lean in closer to him, "As a semi-permanent necklace from the one I love dearly." 

He clears his throat, "Fuck, okay. I mean.." he sighs, "That's hot. I can't lie." 

You smirk, sighing slightly as you hear the front door open, "He has the worst possible timing on this planet." 

"Yo, john john." Jake yells, his footsteps growing closer as he walks back the hall, "Where the fak are ya!?" 

"I'm not here." Johnnie yells back and you try not to laugh too loudly. Jake walks back, stopping when he sees you and Johnnie. 

"Um, I'm just gonna.." he points with his thumb behind him and slowly takes a few steps back. 

"We're not doi-" 

Jake cuts you off, "Yeah, uh huh. Alright." 

You laugh, "You better go." Johnnie kisses your forehead, "Don't go too far." He smirks, giving you a wink before turning and running into the door frame. 

"Oh." You cover your mouth and he sighs, "You make me nervous. This is your fault." He points back to you before stepping over and walking out.

You shake your head laughing, flipping off the light switch as you walk out to the living room. 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

A little bit later, you hear Johnnie call for you from the room, "Hey babe." 

"Yeah?" You yell back. 

"Come here. There's donuts." 

You get up, walking back the hall, peaking your head around the opening, "Donuts you say?" 

"Yeah, come get some before ass face eats them all." Johnnie laughs and you tilt your head, "Johnnie, that wasn't nice." You smile walking in and Jake points to Johnnie like a child, "Ah ha. You got yelled at." 

"I'll yell at you next if you want me to." You say walking around to stand behind them. 

Jake shakes his head, mouth full of donut muffling his words, "No ma'am." He holds his hands up, "I'm good." 

You laugh, reaching between them to grab a donut from the box. 

You hear Jake whispering and donut pieces fly from his mouth, landing on Johnnie as he yells, "Johnnie! What did you do to y/n?" 

"Dude! Your donuts chunks are spewing all over me." Johnnie wipes himself off, looking up to read the chat quickly before looking at Jake, "What are you ta-" 

His eyes go wide, along with yours, and he starts to laugh nervously, "Oh, um.. that." 

Jake tosses his donut down, standing up a he wipes his icing covered fingers on his shirt, "What the fuck. Was this consensual?!"

"Oh my god." You turn away, "Can you not make it a big deal, Jake." 

Johnnie sits there, a nervous smirk on his face, "guys. I think.. I can try and explain this.." 

"No, guys. I don't think he tried to murder her." Jake answers the chat, "Johnnie is a menace." He laugh, "Yeah, a menace to society." 

You turn back around, "I'm just gonna, step over to the side." You laugh and walk out of camera view. 

"It was not, and I repeat not attempted murder." Johnnie lifts his hands, "That's my commentary. Moving on." 

"Was it from the chain around your neck?" Jake looks over at Johnnie, trying to hold back his laughter, "That's a great question." 

"I said moving on." Johnnie yells while laughing, "Jesus Christ." 

Your hand moves up to lay over your neck, taking in what just happened. 

"How many people are here?" Jake leans in, squinting, "Forty thousand people now know that you're an attempted murderer." 

"Jake, no. No. Let's not spread that around." Johnnie rests his elbow on the table, laying his head in his hand, "for fucks sake." 

"Nah, if Johnnie was a murder, he'd come-" Jake laughs, "For me first. Let's be honest." 

You roll your eyes, "I genuinely cannot.." you sigh, shaking your head, "Fuck me." 

"I'm sure if you gave Johnnie the chance he would." Jake looks at you and you nod, "How do you think the marks got here in the first place?" 

Jake's mouth drops as he slowly turns to Johnnie, "You fucking freak." 

Johnnie smiles at you, shaking his head as he leans down to pretend to bash it off the table, "You know if you weren't here-"

"Your life would be boring. I know." Jake smirks, pulling his shoulders up, "You're welcome." 

"I was going to say better, but whatever helps you sleep at night." Johnnie rolls his eyes. He leans in, groaning as he reads the chat, "Figure it out yourselves."

He laughs, "Y/n. How did that happen?" 

You shrug, "I'm not really sure, I woke up one morning and they were there." 

"Oh god, don't." Johnnie laughs, "I promise it wasn't me." 

Jake starts laughing hard, "They.. oh my god, they wanna know if it was Timmy." 

You start laughing, "Jesus Christ. No." You shake your head, yelling, "I'm leaving." 

You walk back out to the living room, getting onto Johnnie's stream on your phone, mainly to read the comments. 

User1: NAH it was definitely the chain around Johnnie's neck you can't tell me ANYTHING different  User2: JOHNNIE WTF  User3: wait. I think y/n joined the stream  User4: JOHNNIE YOUR GF IS SO HOT 

"Y/n. You're in the living room. Get out." Johnnie waves his hand, "Oh the chat I mean. Get out of my stream." 

You smirk as you type, Ouch. That was rude.

"Thank you. I know my girlfriend is hot." Johnnie shrugs, "Why she wants to be with me? I have no idea, but I'm grateful for it." 

User5: JOHNNIE be nice to y/n  Used6: oh my god I love these people  User7: so y/n, tell us about the bruises  User8: PLEASE BEGGING ON MY KNEES  User9: WAS IT THE CHAIN IT WAS THE CHAIN WASNT IT 

You laugh, I have no comment on that matter lol. 

"Y/n!" Johnnie yells, getting up to leave the room. He walks out the hall and stands there staring at you, "Babe!" 

"What?" You ask innocently, "I'm just.. watching this cute guys stream, well.." you show him your phone, "the cute guy left us with his weird friend.. Jake, I think his name is?" 

"Ha ha, very funny." He walks over, leaning down. Your eyes look at the chain that's swinging from his neck and you look back up at him, "Don't tease me like that." 

He smiles, "I'm not doing anything." He stands up, turning to walk away and you watch as he disappears back the hallway, reappearing on your phone screen, "Sorry. I had to um, yeah." 

Jake is sitting there eating another donut, "uh huh. So anyway.." 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

It's around ten when Jake and Johnnie finally end the stream. 

You're sitting in bed, scrolling on your phone when you see a notification pop up. You tap it, laughing when you see a picture of Johnnie with the words above it, 'I just know this guy is a freak in the sheets.'

"Johnnie, baby!" You call out and Johnnie walks into the bedroom, "What?" He closes the door and walks over to you. 

You turn your phone around and he sighs, hanging his head down, "Oh fuck. Here comes the memes." 

You reach over to set your phone on the stand, leaning back over to look up at him, "I mean.. I can definitely confirm that this meme is true." 

"Oh yeah?" He tilts his head and you twirl the metal around your finger as you nod, "Mhm." 

He brushes hair from your face, "I can confirm the same about you, you know that right?" You shrug, "If you want, or you can just experience for yourself." 

You bite your lip as you smile and he nods, "Mm, now that's tough choice." 

You tug on the chain slightly, "Metal chain part two sounds good right now doesn't it." 

He nods, "One hundred percent." He smirks as he dips his head down to attach his lips to yours.

You kick the blankets off, revealing your, already bare, legs. 

Johnnie slides a hand down, slipping it between your thighs, "Soaked." He mumbles against your lips, slipping his fingers in past the thin lining of your panties. 

"Tell me when you want it." He whispers, lips brushing against yours. 

You let out a small moan, gasping as he pushes his fingers in deeper, "Fuck, now." 

He lifts the chain off over his head, letting it fall over yours, "All yours, my love." Johnnie smirks as he wraps the metal chain around his hand. 

He slowly tightens it as he works his fingers in and out of your soaked cunt. 

Your eyes flutter closed as the metal tightens against your skin, slowly causing your whimpers and moans to become quieter and quieter. 

He keeps the chain tight against your neck as his fingers work in and out of you at a pace that's sure to get you where he wants you.

"You gonna cum for me?" He asks in a low tone. 

You nod, squeezing his fingers. 

Your eyes flutter shut as you feel so close to that knot in your stomach snapping - until he stops, slipping his fingers from you. 

"J-Johnnie." You whimper, frustrated that he stoped right when you were about to cum. 

He releases the chain and lets it drop onto your chest, "Knees baby." 

You sit up, sliding down off of the bed and resting on your knees. He moves to sit on the edge of the bed, standing up to undo the belt on his jeans. 

You slip your shirt off over your body, leaving you in nothing but your panties and the chain hanging down between your boobs. 

You reach up, pulling down his pants, eager to have him inside of you, way one or the other. 

Johnnie unbuttons his black button up, letting it lay open as he watches you move in between his knees. He lifts his hips to slip down his boxers, biting down gently into his lip ring when one of your hands wraps around the base of his cock. 

His head tilts back slightly, eyes still on you as you slowly stroke him. 

You lick your lips, looking up at him as you watch him completely melt into your touch. 

"Fuck, baby." Johnnie breathes out, reaching down to hook his finger over the chain. He pulls it up, using it to pull you closed to his cock, "Don't tease me, sweetheart." 

You open your mouth, taking the top of his cock into your mouth, causing a groan to escape his lips. The chain slowly tightens as he gradually moves his hand down it getting it closer to your neck.

He twists it, sliding his hand back to loop it around his hand as you bob your head up and down. 

His hips buck as he gasps, "Fuck." 

You push your head down as far as it can go, holding it there until he tugs on the chain, "So fucking good." 

You smirk up at him, dipping your head back down to take the head of his cock back between your lips.

He lays his other hand on your head, gently rubbing his thumb over your hair as you work your way back down onto him, "S-shit, that's it baby." 

You squeeze your eyes shut, bobbing your head a few more times before he pulls the chain, getting you to pop off. 

You lean back, smirking up at him with watery eyes as a string of saliva keeps you connected to him. 

He lets go of the chain, biting onto his lip ring as he swipes the corner of your mouth with his thumb, "Ride me." 

You scramble to your feet, chain still in Johnnie's hand like a leash as you push your panties down and flick them away with your foot. 

Johnnie moves backwards on the bed, pulling you along with him. 

You crawl up his body, straddling his waist. He pulls you down, connecting his lips with yours. You reach down between your bodies, taking his cock into your hand as you lift up. 

You keep your lips on his, moaning into his mouth as you sink down onto him. 

A groan leaves his lips and the chain tightens around your neck, "Fucking shit." Johnnie breathes out, "You feel so fucking good." 

You whimper quietly as you move your hips up and down. 

Rocking forward and back, hands on his chest as he keeps the chain right where you want it. 

Your eyes close as you let yourself rest all the way down, a strangle moan escaping as the chain looses for just a quick second. 

Johnnie pulling you down to him, your body going naturally, "Keep going, sweetheart." 

You dig your nails into his chest as you push down to lift yourself up, earning moans from Johnnie as you slide back down. 

You felt close again, even though you couldn't say it, he knew. 

"Come on, baby. You can do it." He coaches, "Cum for me." 

You tilt your head back, the chain pulling tighter. You squeeze your eyes shut tight, muffled moans slip through your parted lips as you clench your walls around his cock. 

Johnnie bucks his hips upward as his fingers dig into your hip, "Just like that, baby. Fuck, just like that." 

You look down at him, hair falling in front of your face, which he quickly brushes away so he can watch you. 

His eyes scan down your body, lip pulled between his teeth as his breathing grows heavier. 

He sits up, taking over as he lays you flat on your back, chain pinned down right next to your neck - you knew there would be new bruises tomorrow. 

But that was the point. 

Johnnie's thrusts are hard, fast, full of love and pleasure. He loved making you feel good. 

If it wasn't for the chain holding you'd back, you'd probably be screaming, moaning his name over and over again loudly. 

Your nails drag up his arms and dig them into his shoulders. He leans down, pressing his lips to yours as he causes the chain to loosen. 

He swallows your moans, groaning as he lays a hand on your cheek, thrusting his cock into you. 

He holds it there as he twitches, alternating kissing your lips and neck, "Did I hurt you?" 

You lay a hand on his cheek, brushing his hair from his eyes, "No, but just don't panic tomorrow morning when there's more bruises." 

"You are such a freak." He smirks, sitting up, "But I love you." 

"I think I've heard that once or twice before." You smirk, "I love you." 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

I couldn't stop thinking about this, so I hope you enjoyed it. Making Headlines for Sam Golbach will be out next, and hopefully soon. 

As always, I love yas. Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought of it!  likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[dmercer91]

pretty girl, me94

in which mark has a little bit of an unwarranted jealousy problem you help him get over. (18+!!)

part of the sophomores best girl mini series! also set in last season, a couple days after mackie's fic (2.6k)

she’s long awaited, she’s hot, and she’s not proofread!! (typical). i hope she lived up to the excitement, i love you all, i need to pack and i need to go tf to sleep

jealousmarkjealousmarkjealousmarkjealousmarksdhsjdhsdjdh

to the public you were mark's. it made the most sense- he'd probably be around until his graduation, at which point the arrangement you had with the sophomore's would probably be over- but it would still prevent people begging the question of why you hadn't followed any of the other's to their respective draft cities despite the lack of any 'breakup'

he was touchier with you than the rest, as well. so being his 'girlfriend' had allowed for that to translate well when the group of you were out, for him to stay mindless about his fingers twirling the ends of your hair and his palm having a home on your thigh.

to top it all off- it was so embarrassingly evident that, although he liked sharing you in general, sometimes his mind went to places it shouldn't, and sometimes sharing was the last thing he wanted when it came to you.

so at a party where you and mackie had been stuck to one another like glue, partnering in beer pong, sharing a cup when nobody was paying attention, passing fleeting touches once everybody was too far gone to notice, mark could only sulk.

the biggest downside of being your so called boyfriend was that, no matter how badly he wanted to leave, it would look a little wrong for him to ditch his love at a frat house with absolutely no warning.

so he pulled you aside, your giggles stinging a little as you fell into his chest, looking up at him in the dim lighting like he was something of a god, whisking you to heaven, or, in this case, the entrance hallway of the most trashed building possibly ever

"it's time to go home now, baby," he murmured, wrapping you in his jacket, knowing you refused to bring any warm one, arguing it ruined your outfit.

you pouted, clutching the hem of his shirt and trying to pull him back to where some of the hockey team had stationed themselves

"but i'm having fun, marky," your genuine displeasure at his words had his jaw ticking, shaking his head at you.

"is that how this works now? you bossin' me around, baby?" he tilted his head and the look in his eyes made your mouth water. you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, shook your head and watched in real time as his face got more laxed, his body getting closer to yours.

he gave you a lazy grin, pressing a kiss to your lips and leading you out the door.

"we're gonna go home n' you're gonna be good, yeah?" he whispered, earning a nod as you tried to lean in for more kisses. he hummed, accepting the gesture but quickly pulling back to get you onto the sidewalk and towards the house.

you pawed at his arm, an attempt to get his attention back on you. he quickly eyed you before deciding to lean into his jealousy, see if you caught on and see what you'd do about it.

"look who's just gettin' all the attention from anyone who'll spare it tonight, huh?" you blushed, shaking your head timidly

you stepped in front of him so he’d stop walking, only for him to lift you into his arms and continue on without a thought

you giggled, tucking your face into his neck. "just want your attention, marky," you gave him a sultry look, watching as his tongue poked the bottom of his cheek in frustrated contemplation

"don't seem to want any of me when mackie's around," he stated, feeling your nails scratch at his bicep absentmindedly.

now that you thought about it, you were starting a little bit of a pattern. you'd be caught up in marks lap, giggling at everything he said and being the perfect, attentive girlfriend. then, mackie would come into a conversation and you'd be entirely distracted.

the first time, his food had come to the door and you never bothered to come back to mark after bringing it upstairs. tonight, he asked for you to partner him in games and you spent the whole night looking at mackie the way mark felt he deserved instead.

"then you're always runnin' around the house in luke's clothes, snuggling up with him on movie nights, sleeping in his bed," he continued, despite your lips on his jaw and neck, nipping at his skin

luke always preferred softer affection from you to cheer him up unless he was particularly angry- which meant him dragging you into his lap and hugging onto you, giving you his clothes so they'd smell like your perfume and having you fall asleep on his chest.

"best of all, ethan's been taking you out to lunch dates when you're meant to be my girl, not his," he walked through the front door just as you were about to explain to him that he seemed afraid to be affectionate with you other than to sleep with you or touch you, and that's why you kept getting whisked away.

the other boys had found a nice middle ground of relief and relationship, and you never denied any of them what they'd asked of you- mark had been stuck on relief, and always seemed to try and catch you when the rest had already whisked you away.

"m' not tryin' to pick favourites, i promise, marky. wanna have a thing with you, too. i don't know what you'd like, though," he grumbled, like your explanation hadn't quite met his standards for an excuse

"right now?" he dropped you on his bed, peeled his shirt off. "i'd like to fuck you,"

you giggled, pulling him down on top of you and tugging at his hair, kissing him and letting him tug your shorts off. his hands slid down your waist and hips to find your panties, only to feel that you'd gone without.

he groaned into your mouth and you smiled. one hand abandoning his hair to scratch down his back.

he moved off you, earning a needy whine and your arms reaching out at him. he smirked, sitting at the edge of his bed and nodding for you to come over to him while he ditched his pants and boxers

your response was to start kneeling in front of him, only for him to shake his head. "on my lap, pretty baby," he gripped your waist, pulling you onto his thigh, pressed tight to his chest.

"think m' gonna make you work for it," he smiled, looking in front of you at the full length mirror, watching as you stared at the two of you. you licked your lips slightly, watching the way he was holding you.

"what?" you murmured, finally looking into his eyes, a little distracted by his hands and the way you looked.

he chuckled, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple.

"said i'm gonna make you work for it, baby." his hands moved to your hips, teasing for a second before he lifted you forward and then dragged you back, bare cunt dragging on the muscle of his thigh and making your legs clench together

he gave you an expectant look through the mirror, watching with a smirk as you slowly rocked forward, a shaky whine spilling from your lips when his leg tensed under you

your hand planted on his other leg, nails digging into his skin as you rocked yourself as well as you could manage, a sticky mess building on his leg from your arousal

"the boys and i.. we talk about you, you know?.." he trailed, leaving kisses on your shoulder while you moaned at the though of them talking about the things they'd all done with you.

"and none of them can shut up about how well you respond.. when they tell you how good you are for them," your core pulsed, hips stuttering in your pace.

you weren't quite sure where he was going with his rant, which side of the coin he'd choose.

"is that true, pretty girl? you like it when they pretend you're this perfect angel, like you're not the prettiest little slut for us?" your eyes fluttered closed, and reopened to look into his own.

both. he was choosing both sides of the coin.

"mark, mark-" your grip on his leg tightened and he hummed, serving as a repetition to his question and not an acknowledgement of how close you were, nor your whimpers of his name.

"answer me," he murmured, bringing a hand in front of you and making light circles over your clit.

"m' a good girl. good for you, always. s' not- ah, not pretend" you breathed out, leaning your head back on his chest and looking up at him from there, rather than in the mirror

"please," you gasped, and you didn't even know yourself whether you were pleading with him to confirm you were good for him, or just to let you cum. though, one would probably result in the other.

"oh, look at you.. you do like it, don't you?" he teased, and you nodded obediently, peering up at him with all the hope you could muster.

though apparently your hope was for nothing, cause he moved his fingers away from your clit and grabbed your hips roughly, stopping your movement and effectively pressing pause on any stimulation you'd been feeling.

"no, no- was so close," you whispered, tears collecting at your waterline and both of your hands trying to pry marks off your body so you could go back to fucking yourself on him.

"shhh, pretty baby. m' gonna take my hands away and you're gonna sit nice and still, yeah? don't be a fucking brat, now," his voice was low and stern, your core throbbing against him and earning a chuckle

he hummed in satisfaction when you halted your attempts at forcing his hand, and you watched patiently as his forearm slayed over your stomach and he lifted your whole body with a one handed grip on your waist.

using his other hand, he aligned himself under you, pulling you down onto his cock and dropping you so that he immediately bottomed out.

you squealed, squeezing him so hard that he grunted and pried your thighs apart, slapping the inside of one hard enough for you to come back to yourself and try and relax your pelvis.

you gulped when you finally got used to the sudden intrusion, eyes fluttering shut and hips rocking gently.

he gripped your jaw, eyes jolting open as he forced you to look into the mirror in front of you.

"i told you to sit still" he barked, and you were smart enough to will away every aching desire to squirm.

since the last time you'd acknowledged yourself, you found that the lust drunk bliss on your face had increased tenfold and that you were now dripping down your thighs and onto marks, despite the two no longer rubbing against one another.

you also found that mark was staring, as well. drinking in every inch of exposed skin and massaging at your thighs when his eyes spent far too long focused between them, eyeing the way he was pressed into you and how stuffed you looked.

his arm made it's way back over your stomach, fingers gently grazing the imprint he was leaving on your stomach on their way across to your waist.

his voice was deep and crisp in your ear when he started to fuck up into you, one hand pulling you up, slamming you back down, and the other placing your thighs over his knees so they'd stay spread while he moved to paw at your tits, pinch your nipples.

"have you ever let any of us come inside?" and he sounded so calm that it hurt your head, confusion and fear melting together into a look that you gave him through the glass of his mirror.

".. s' against the rules," was all you said, shaky and wanting so desperately to grip onto him but wanting to be well behaved far more, so choosing to stay as he put you.

"that's not what i asked, pretty baby. i asked if you've let anyone," his fingers stopped messing with your nipple, instead his whole palm enveloped your left breast and the lines of his hand soaked in the scattered beat of your heart.

"no," you whispered, and it couldn't have been a more evident lie even if he hadn't felt the skip in the rhythm beating through your chest. he slammed up into you particularly roughly and you struggled not to scream, your eyes fluttering and tears dripping down your cheeks.

"no?" he asked again, his condescending tone ringing in your ears. if only you'd known he knew before his question even fell from his lips, you would've apologized rather than lying.

"so.. what was it, that you were begging mack to do the other night? promisin' him you wouldn't tell, saying you'd been so good," he tilted his head, the hand over your heart sneaking up around your throat, keeping your head straight so you'd look him in the eye.

"nothin'.. nothing, mark, i swear. just know he likes me talking, beggin'.. wanted to be good t' him," you cried, and he let out a dry chuckle.

"good girls don't lie.. n' i thought that's all you wanted, was for me to validate that little fantasy in your head where you're obedient, and sweet, and the best girl, and then.. you lie to me? m' starting to think the boys are liars, too. tellin' me you're this angel baby.." he trailed off, tutting breathily.

"if you're a good girl, you'll make it up to me, right, pretty baby?" he asked, coming up with his very own resolution for the problem he'd stuck you in.

"i'll- m' gonna make it up to you, swear it," your lead lolled back onto his shoulder from how dazed you were and he quickly perched your head right back up.

"gonna let me come inside? need to- i need it. need to know what it feels like to fill you up, baby," he squeezed your throat a little, your walls clenching around him and your eyes flickering between open and closed. you'd never been so loud, so twitchy for him and he was loving every last second.

you nodded, almost frantically, staring at where you and mark connected in the mirror while he hummed in satisfaction and gave you one last, rough thrust, leaking into you and dropping his hand from your neck, squeezing every inch of skin he could reach and moaning gently in your ear.

"there's a good girl. prettiest fucking whore f' me," he murmured, smiling blissfully when your legs made their way over his knees, clamping together while your walls pulsated around him.

you squeezed your eyes shut hard and clawed at his arm, shaking against his chest and moans spilling violently from red, swollen lips.

you heaved in his arms, chest rising and falling prominently while he used light circles on your clit to bring you down from an intense orgasm.

his hands slid to your hips, ready to pull you off him and you whined in retaliation, turning to nestle your face into his chest.

he smirked, keeping you taught to himself while he laid back, keeping you in top of him and petting your hair out of your face.

"mh. was always so annoying you never wanted cuddles, so warm, big," you babbled, clinging on tighter.

"always wanted cuddles, pretty baby. didn't know how to ask for 'em."

"kay, well. you're an idiot," he raised an eyebrow, adjusting his hips and earning an oversensitive whine

"watch yourself"

[arminsumi]

Could you pls pls pls write a fluffy oneshot of gojo and his fav student? The colour hair dye and the ice cream oneshots have never left my mind 🤭😭

CALL ME SATORU

↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader

An evening training session with Gojo and his favorite student, ending as a lavish dinner date.

1k

Note : aaa i hope u like this!! hehe so giddy to know my fics are in ur mind 🤭💗 thank u for enjoying them

Mentioned posts : hair dye fic / sweet tooth

Warnings : teacher/student relationship, romantic tension

Playme : heaven and back

🍒 More from Jay : Gojo works / Gojo fave works / JJK works / oct. reqs open

"Gojo-sensei, I'm tired. We've been practicing for two hours." he listened to you complain, and shook his head.

"Tired? Nah. On your feet, let's go through that motion again. C'mon, up up up — what, do I have to pick you up myself?"

His arms hooked around you and he pressed his chest flat to yours while hoisting you up. Few things get his heart racing, but teaching you martial arts? He may seem very composed, but his heart throbs each time he sees you acting clumsy and amateur.

You had such a long way to go, and he wanted to see these days through until you were just as good if not better than him. Even if it was impossible. He still wanted his favorite student to be considered the second-strongest, at least in hand-to-hand combat.

"Ow, my knee..." you mumbled half-heartedly.

"Don't be a weakling." he smiled cheekily, "Is my star student really too tired to continue? Is a bruised knee really gonna stop you?"

You pouted. "You're the one who bruised my knee..."

Look at that adorable pout. She's taking after me.

"Well, maybe you shoulda dodged it." he cheeked.

"Gojo-sensei, you push me too hard." you said.

"I know, I'm sorry." he smiled.

The two of you finally sat down for a break. Night had fallen, stars were up in the blackened sky. There must have been a cricket in the wood panel of the door Gojo leaned against, because he heard it very loudly in his ear. So he scooted away from the noise and moved closer to you, unaware of how the increased proximity made you buzz.

You and him shared a thoughtful silence. Then his voice penetrated deep and low, his tone serious.

"I push you so hard because I want you to become the strongest."

"Why?"

"Uh, haha... do you want me to answer that as Satoru or as your teacher?"

"...? Huh? Hm... um... I want both versions of your answer."

"Well... as your teacher... I want you to be able to fight for future generations and pass on your skills."

"And... as Satoru...?"

He hesitated, then slowly answered;

"So I don't have to be the strongest all by myself."

He looked at you with a sheepish smile.

"Selfish, huh?"

"It's okay to be selfish to an extent. I hardly ever see you doing anything for yourself."

The crickets continued making louder symphonies.

"Sato— ahm, Gojo-sensei. I will try my best to fill the role you want me to fill. I don't want you to feel alone."

"... I know it's an overwhelming role, I don't really have the right to push this on y—"

"—I will do it for you because I love you."

"What?"

"What?"

"Respect, I meant respect!" you backtracked.

"Hahaha, sure."

"..."

"... love you too." he winked.

"Shut up!"

"What, I can't tell my favorite student that I love her back?!" he teased.

"Th-that's inappropriate, haha."

"But you just told your teacher you love him. That was also inappropriate."

"I— yeah! Well!"

He stared at you for a long, long moment, absorbing the weight of your I love you that lingered in the air between you and him.

"Alright. Let's wrap up practice for the night."

"Really! God... I thought you were gonna make me do the whole thing again out of spite for saying something inappropriate."

He winked, "No, I'll reprimand you tomorrow for that. Come on. We're going out."

"We're going out...? Are you taking me out as your favorite student, or are you taking me out as me?"

He smirked. "Both... I think my favorite student deserves a good reward after practicing so hard today, but I also just... want to selfishly take you out on a date."

Gojo spoiled you on this night out. Really spoiled you. Bought you a dress, put on his best suit ditched his blindfold, took you to one of the most expensive restaurants that he knew of. Indulged in your company not as his student, but as someone he wanted to get to know... someone maybe he was interested in.

He leaned over the table to fluster you with teasingly close proximity, and straightened out his tie because he was sorely aware of how attractive his hands looked when he did that.

"Go on, don't be shy. Tell me about yourself."

"But you already know me."

"I don't know enough." he shook his head.

"Well... I'm lost... I don't know where to start." you chuckled, staring down at your cleared plate of dessert. It was rich and sweet, he said it was his favorite.

"Then I'll ask." he looked at you, and leaned over the table with one elbow, resting his chin on the back of his palm. "What's your love life looking like at the moment?"

You let out a laugh at this, which he half-expected.

"Well, I'm on a date with my teacher..." you said, jokingly.

He chuckled.

"Tell me." he then said seriously, "I want to know."

"Well... my love life is pretty... unsaturated...?"

"Unsaturated...?" he raised a brow. "What do you mean by that?"

"Dull. I mean it's dull. Any time I develop romantic feelings for someone... well they drain out just as quickly as they flood in." you admitted.

He looked at you contemplatively.

"Is that so..."

"Ahah, you seem surprised."

"I am. I thought you'd have a more glamorous love life, like me." he joked.

"Oh? I'm all ears, Gojo-sensei."

He looked at you deeply, "Call me Satoru." he murmured under his breath.

Your heart panged.

"... anyways, uh... haha. Yeah... my glamorous love life... I've been on two dates in my life including this one."

"Just two?!"

He nodded. "The first one doesn't really count, because I was fourteen and it was a boyish crush."

"... so... this one counts...?"

"Well, yes." he said, "Of course it does. This is not a boyish crush, after all..."

You and him stared at each other for a long, tender moment. Got lost in each other's worlds, which were contained in those irises. Suddenly understood each other's deep feelings, revealed by those dilated pupils.

Dilated...?

Yes his pupils always dilated for you, but you never noticed before with that strip of black having concealed his eyes.

"Gojo—?"

"—Just call me Satoru already." he overlapped his hand with yours, both resting midway on the table.

"Why?" you asked. "Why do you want me to call you that?"

He hesitated, wondering if you were asking that rhetorically. The restaurant was dim, the environment slow and luxurious, fancy, expensive... heavenly golden hue, casting over you and him.

"... because I want to hear you calling out my name."

© arminsumi

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

[leyyvi]

It's 3:04 in the afternoon when you're buried nose-deep in writing your research paper. And though you've been trying to focus on it for the last half hour, the only thing on your mind is literally all of the other things you need to get done. Clean your room, do the dishes, finish that late assignment (it's been almost a week now!) Shit. Too many things to do, and there's never enough hours in the day to feel like you can finish them.

You may or may not have been tipping over the edge of a breaking point for a while now.

But you've been convinced that it was hidden fairly well, at least from your friends. They don't press more than a simple "good luck with your paper" or "talk to you soon" when you tell them how busy you are.

However, your boyfriend definitely notices.

Levi isn't one to not speak his mind when something bothers him. In fact, he's pointed out several times in the last week that you shouldn't be overworking yourself. Out of anyone you know, Levi knows your limits the most. And he must see it where you don't, considering he's walked into your apartment with his copy of the key and is now standing over you, a paper bag in his hand as he glares down his nose.

"Hey," you mumble, turning back to your laptop screen in front of you. But the laptop is forced shut by a veiny hand, replaced with the plop of that same paper bag Levi was just holding. "Whats that?"

You pout when he slides the laptop down the dining table.

"Lunch. You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I know you are, don't fight me on this. Please just eat with me. Forget about your work for a minute."

He pulls out the boxes in the bag, revealing a couple of sandwiches. Fine, maybe you're a little hungry.

"You didn't answer my calls so I had to guess what you would've liked," Levi murmurs as he slides the boxes toward you. You mutter an apology, but he's not mad. He waves it off, simply telling you to eat and "stop worrying about shit for one damn second."

With anyone else, it might've pissed you off.

When you're absorbed in your work, it's hard to gather energy to talk to other people, let alone even take care of yourself. And yet, somehow, Levi is the one person who manages to read you like a book. For some reason, he's able to pick up on your bouts of silence and understand what you need. You always wondered how he can do that.

And though he's yet to say "I love you", you wonder if gestures like this are close enough to that.

He doesn't ask about work, merely sits with you and eats in silence. The brief moment of quiet feels good, comforting even. Especially in Levis presence. Despite his coarse language and tendency to maintain a glare most if not all times, you've always found him to be so... Stable. A steady wall to lean on when the world makes your stance tremble.

You really love that about him.

When you two have finished, Levi promptly cleans up the table. You assume it's okay to go back to work, but his hand lands on yours when you try to pull it back.

"You're done for the day," he says with a firm stare. The usual one he gives when he absolutely refuses to listen to any counterargument you might come up with. "We're gonna go for a walk, take you outside. Just get out of this shit and breathe some real fresh air."

"I'm not a dog," you grumble as he holds out his hand to you now to help you stand.

"Mhm," is all he says.

You two walk around the neighborhood, Levi having taken away your phone in an effort to keep you from too much more screen time. He'd return it if you really asked, but you're thankful for the restriction in all honesty.

Usually, Levi isn't the one to initiate an exorbitant amount of physical contact. It's you who tends to absentmindedly cling to his arm while you're talking. And it's generally you who comes up behind him to cover his eyes and make him guess who, despite the fact that he already knew just from the sound of your footsteps.

Most often, Levi does attend to little touches here and there. The back of your neck, the edge of your hip, the top of your thigh, along the line of your jaw. And now in this moment, it's when Levi steps up a little and takes your hand completely in his. It isn't anything new for you to hold hands, but it's rare for him to be initiator.

You appreciate that. Those moments where he's willing to be more brave about touching. It's calming, feeling his fingers between yours as your arms sway with every step.

"I'm sorry for being so short with you lately," you sigh, staring at the cracks in the sidewalk you step on. Levi always seems to make a subconscious effort not to step on them, even now.

"It's nothing. I'm always short with you, anyways..." He trails off quietly.

Your sudden snort startles him, obvious with the incredulous look on his face as you burst into a tiny fit of laughter. His brow raises in confusion.

"That wasn't even close to being a funny joke and you're still laughing?"

"It was funny to me! You're always funny."

"You're the only person in the whole world who thinks that."

"Must be why you're dating me, right?"

His hold tightens around your hand. "I'm dating you because I l-"

Levi cuts himself off and inhales through his nose, pushing his sunglasses up to hide his eyes as he recomposes himself. "I'm dating you for a multitude of reasons."

"You could be more specific."

"If you keep talking I'm gonna have fewer reasons," he clears his throat, hovering his free hand over his eyes to shield himself from the sun, leaving remnants of the summer's heat on his skin.

You smile, for the first time in a few days, actually. "I thought you were trying to make me feel better."

"Hmph." Clearly, Levi has nothing else to say.

[mcflymemes]

ANYONE BUT YOU (2023) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

you still live at 28 fuckboy lane?

there's a reason why you're alone. no one can trust you.

i still think about the night we spent together.

these last few days really made me realize how much i miss you.

that night at your place, no matter how it ended, it was still pretty amazing.

so... you gonna kiss me now?

you'll always be my rock bottom.

okay, nuzzle my neck. get in there.

we are not together. we were faking it the whole time.

we have to kick it up a notch. make it feel like we're in the ga-ga stage.

you know, i feel really bad about that.

did you catch him measuring his dick with a ruler app?

you scared the shit out of me.

we're getting pretty good at faking it.

it doesn't matter how we found out.

permission to put my left hand on your right buttock?

okay, not in circles. it's not a magic lamp.

are you not wearing underwear?

we do not inherit the earth. we just borrow it from our creatures.

i have a better idea. you just let me do everything.

thanks for being so cool about all of this.

you want a coffee? it's the best n the world.

there's only one bed, but we hung a shower curtain in the middle.

hi. where's your bathroom?

i could have done it myself, but whatever. thanks.

thanks for not stealing my coat.

is that really a two person job?

you would let me die?

they think i'm throwing my life away.

no, that was rude. i apologize to anyone that was listening.

i don't know. i'm not good at this, sorry.

i'm from a different generation.

i'm not talking about love. i'm talking about dick.

all that matters is that we're together.

that's not me anymore. i'm free now. i'm deprogrammed.

no way, that man does not have a heart.

well, that didn't take long.

if i never ask you for anything ever again, can you please just lay off of me this weekend?

let's just have a moment to calm ourselves.

no one cares. no one can see us.

we were on a break, asshole.

either way, someone's lying to someone.

i must have really gotten under your skin.

you used none of those terms properly.

i cannot believe i just said that out loud.

i'm sorry. my life is a disaster right now.

look at this place. it looks like every serial killer reenactment documentary.

no matter how broken something is, there's always a way to fix it.

this whole thing is so new to me.

i don't really like labels, but i like you a whole bunch.

so are you going to ask me out now?

so if we were getting attacked by giant spiders, you would not be able to protect us?

you two know each other?

i'm going to go grab a drink. door's that way if you're looking to sneak out. i know that's your thing.

i'm going to get a drink and toast to never seeing you again.

how crazy is it that we're on the same plane?

why do so many of us feel stuck?

you don't even play tennis.

we're fine if he just stays away from me.

you're such a romantic.

i was hoping you'd come. i wanted to message you, but i didn't know how you'd feel about hearing from me.

they're also a little worried how you're gonna react to all this.

you have a little something in your teeth.

we need to come up with a game plan.

you are so terrible at this.

it's harder than you think.

they know i would never go out with a guy like you.

we just suck face in front of everybody.

you're calling me a fuckboy like it's an insult? i own that shit.

let's just be affectionate. i know it's a foreign concept for you.

you were the one who said there's a thin line between love and hate.

i think it was more of a euphemism for crying alone.

i definitely didn't hate you.

last night was the first thing i haven't regretted in a long time.

i love the weird way you stick your hand down my pants.