#one day lottie will find hers too | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

taisgf · 2 months ago

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hc. how i imagine yj girls in relationships post-crash (nat, jackie, tai, van, shauna, lottie. pre-crash here & here.)

A/N: fem!reader, nsfw references, but nothing crazy. mention of drugs, alc. ooc, possibly? shauna pregnancy, not proofread cause I’m tired reminder that reqs are open pookies ily

SHAUNA

𓇼 After the crash, physical touch and intimacy with Shauna would become such a staple and comfort within your relationship. Holding hands, cuddling at night, touching forehead to forehead- anything to know that you’re near, you’re okay, you’re her’s.

𓇼 Shauna would be the type to love doing chores with you, 100%. Sitting together while you scrub laundry, or having you near her when she has to butcher up meat that Nat caught. She’d be re-reading her own journal entries too, letting you look at pages from old dates or soccer games, laughing at her dorkiness and nervousness from before you started dating.

𓇼 Although, I feel like Shauna would harbour a lot of guilt after everything that happened. You would have to be the voice of reason at times as her anxiety gets a hold of her, even more so after she finds out she’s pregnant. Having you as her rock and confidant would really help Shauna, just making you love her all the more.

𓇼 I feel like Shauna could grow really possessive and crave dominance as everything plays out. Shauna’s feeling that she lacks control after everything would really affect your relationship, with Shauna growing more protective and even controlling. Strongly urging you not to leave the cabin (or her sight), and insisting she’s the one in control whenever you’re intimate. She would still be gentle and soft, but her fear of loosing you as well as loosing control of her life would really fuck with her.

𓇼 This would probably lead to some jealousy, too. If you’re around another girl more often than normal, going scavenging with them or getting help from them instead of Shauna for whatever reason Shauna could end up a little salty. “Why don’t you get Natalie to help you, since you seem to love hanging out with her?” (said as she cuts a deer apart). Shauna would be quick to snap out of it, though- playfully blame it on pregnancy hormones and stress while pecking your lips.

𓇼 Lots of university and future talk while you’re bored. You’d have to help Shauna sort out the whole Brown V Rutgers situation, but with all the free time in the wilderness what better to do?

𓇼 The amount of trauma bonding for you and Shauna specifically is crazy. She has it worse off than the others, with the unexpected baby- and you, having to find out that your girlfriend’s pregnant to some guy from before you were dating and having to help her through that. Though, after all was said and done, your relationship would be invincible, likely staying strong long after being rescued.

TAI

𓇼 When in the wilderness, you'd always feel safe with Taissa. She's always been a natural born leader, even since before the crash, and nothing would have changed. You'd always be able to trust Taissa to make rational, sensible and grounded decisions. AKA, she's your rock.

𓇼 Despite the tension of the day in the wilderness, you'd be met with soft cuddles and touches in the night with Tai. Talking about anything and everything, just to unwind and relax. You'd be the only one to see a softer, less rational and more emotional side of Taissa- the inklings of the girl you knew pre-crash.

𓇼 I feel like the danger and gravity of being stuck in the wilderness would cause Tai to be more affectionate, too. Realizing that anything could happen at any time, she'd definitely be more mindful of her time with you and how limited it could be with their jeopardized situation in the wilderness.

𓇼 Taissa's somewhat domestic and mature temperament from pre-crash would linger, too. Waking up before you and leaving a small glass of water by your makeshift bed, always making sure you're wearing enough layers before going out or giving you some of her food if she thinks you didn't get enough. She'd always nonchalantly shrug it off, though.

𓇼 However, maintaining somewhat of a leadership position within the group would put a lot of stress on Taissa which would no doubt lead to conflicts within your relationship. Tai might say something she really doesn't mean, or distance herself from you. However, the wilderness makes it hard to run, forcing her to confront your issues and ultimately apologizing.

𓇼 Taissa's fiercely loyal to you post crash, creating an almost 'Us VS The World' dynamic. She'd confide things in you that she wouldn't with Lottie or Shauna, tell you things she disagrees with that they've done or share plans with you that she wouldn't tell anybody else. You and some others would become this tight knit group within the other yellowjackets, but ultimately Taissa trusts you greater than anyone else.

𓇼 Intimacy with Tai in the wilderness would be intense and deliberate. I get the feeling she'd want to be the dominant one, the one to take charge, as a way of regaining a sense of control in her life. Sex would come as a comfort too, a brief distraction to the chaos of the group's situation.

VAN

𓇼 As soon as the plane collides with the ground and Van's able to get out of her seat, she's hunting you down to make sure you're okay. Van can't resist being you knight in shining armor, and during the plane crash it's only amplified tenfold. She's screaming your name, helping a few others as she weaves through the cabin until she finds you- carrying you or dragging you away from the wreckage (and crying a little, I fear. Poor girl was terrified). No way would Van let you out of her sight, at least not for at least two days after.

𓇼 Van would prioritize your wellbeing over hers, too. Not majorly, just small gestures that remind you that you're her number one. Van went out scavenging, and found some wild berries? She'll try them (or make someone else try them) before giving you any. If an item of clothing gets ruined, she's quick to lend you hers.

𓇼 Nighttime in the wilderness means having Van cling to you full throttle. I'm talking so closely that if you need to leave for the bathroom or grab something from across the attic, you'd have to pry her fingers off your body one by one- met with a sleepy groan and a not so soft request to 'get your ass back over here' as she feels the mattress dip beside her.

𓇼 I get the idea that Van would organize little faux dates, too. A small picnic comprised of berries and edible looking leaves held near the large lake near the cabin, or dragging you out as the sun sets to swim with her or go on a walk. Van makes it clear to you that you're still her girlfriend, and no amount of stranded-in-the-wilderness-ness would change that. She makes it clear she still loves you, rambling on about everything you'll do together when help finally comes.

𓇼 Van's super protective and tough, but she'd be the one to cope with everything using humor. In the wilderness Van's great at controlling the group's mood, spreading her optimism and making everyone, especially you, laugh with her crude dark humor. Something that would stay consistent both pre and post crash is her love of chasing you with bugs, too. Also, when you get bored or sad, best believe that Van's reciting your favorite movies to you as stories as well.

𓇼 However, underneath her goofy demeanor Van seems quite grounded and realistic. She's aware you're both in danger, and she knows that you could be out there for god knows how long which is why she's so overprotective of you. Van could go overboard sometimes, only out of worry.

𓇼 Her defensive and protective nature could become overbearing at times, but only because she's scared shitless of loosing you. How could she risk you when she can't imagine a future after being rescued without you? You would have to remind Van a few times that yes, you can manage on your own, and she just needs to trust you.

𓇼 Also, I 100% believe Van brought her strap on in her luggage. Just saying. She'd definitely turn sex into a playful, comforting thing between you two- initiating with kisses or play wrestling while you two are tucked away in the attic of the cabin.

LOTTIE

𓇼 Being with Lottie after the crash and slowly watching her change from the girl you knew would be odd. For better or for worse, a power dynamic would quickly be established between you two as the group turns more cult-ish and she has her visions. However, the Lottie you knew pre-crash would still be around, just fewer and further between as time goes on. In the early dates after the crash she'd be more or less the same- maintaining her wit and sarcasm.

𓇼 If you were like Natalie and grew to be more skeptical of her beliefs, there would be incredible tension that would eventually drive you apart-possibly to be reunited after being rescued and Lottie gets back on her medication.

𓇼 However, if you get sucked into everything then I feel like you'd end up as Lottie's right hand man. She would be fiercely protective of you, believing you belong to her and her only- as well as never letting any of the other girls as much as touch you, meaning you'd be isolated from the other cult 'activities'. (The wilderness said so, duh.)

𓇼 When she's not full cult-leader mode Lottie would maintain her playfulness with you- insisting she gives you a kiss before you leave the cabin for good luck, or taking you out on a walk where she points out certain things she sees in nature while holding your hand, keeping you comfortable tucked into her side.

𓇼 Seeing snippets of how Lottie used to act as she teases you for how you sleep or run after a rabbit, celebrate after catching a fish from the lake with your hands or pout as you realize someone's using your beanie would, for a second, give you a sense of normalcy.

𓇼 At times you'd catch Lottie just admiring you from afar as you go about your chores in the cabin, a soft smile gracing her lips as she scans your features. Having your partnership as a constant through all the chaos going on in her mind would help Lottie more than you can imagine, and she takes plenty of time to appreciate you for that.

𓇼 I get the idea that sex would become a very spiritual or ritualistic thing between you and Lottie. She'd be delicate, each move having meaning- maybe dragging you to certain locations to do it or whispering things into your ear. The whole experience would be sensual, intimate yet still loving and reminiscent of how she was to you before.

NAT

𓇼 Even in the most dire situations (AKA a literal plane crash hundreds of kilometers away from anything or anyone else), you can count on Natalie to be a total tease. The familiar banter between you two would far from cease, and Natalie would revel in the familiarity it gives her- a sense of normalcy amongst the chaos.

𓇼 However, pretty early on it becomes clear that Natalie has a real no-bullshit, survival first attitude- always choosing the brutal, sometimes ugly truth and plan of action rather than an optimistic, watered down version like Jackie, for example. It's reminiscent of her straight to the point attitude pre-crash, just amplified. This sometimes means making decisions for you and the group that you may not be a fan of; like choosing to be a hunter and work the gun despite any protests you have that it's dangerous. She'd be quick to shrug you off in those scenarios, which seems harsh but in reality Natalie's just doing her part to keep everyone safe.

𓇼 A part of being with Natalie post crash would mean helping her when she starts to struggle without her vices- drugs, alcohol. Her secret stash could only last so long. Having you there to help her get used to full sobriety and cope with not having any of it would mean a lot to Natalie.

𓇼 I feel like you, her girlfriend, would be one of the only people Nat's not really crass and argumentative with. Nat would let herself be vulnerable with you, curling up to you at night or seeking you out after a hunt to just relax and actually acknowledge how she's feeling.

𓇼 Natalie would be the type of girlfriend to drag you away from the cabin at night for walks or swims like Van would. Natalie really savored those serene moments alone with you pre-crash where you'd be lying on the roof of her trailer or skipping a class together underneath the bleachers meant a lot to Natalie, so being able to sneak away from the other girls and just be with you is something she'd do often.

𓇼 Both pre and post crash Natalie aren't too good at traditional romantic gestures or words, so little remarks like "You're not so bad, you know?" or "Stay close. Tai would beat my ass if I lost you out here, or whatever," made with a little grin and a squeeze of her hand in yours are her ways of saying 'I love you. Be safe'.

𓇼 Since a love of music would have been a staple in your pre-crash relationship, hearing you hum a song or talk about an album would bring Natalie lots of comfort and joy. I can imagine nights with her in the harsh winter as you're curled up together, her soft voice in your ear asking you to sing or hum something for her. She's a softie, deep down.

𓇼 Nat's argumentative, bold and unapologetic nature could cause some problems between you two in the wilderness, but due to the forced proximity she'd be fast to apologize. More often than not these scenarios lead to Natalie on top of you, both locked in a passionate and desperate kiss while she works her hands on you. The sex would be a distraction for you two more often than not, rough with clear undertones of love and care.

JACKIE

𓇼 I’m of the firm belief that if you were in a relationship with Jackie, she’d have been sitting on your lap as the plane went down. Diva cannot take her hands off you even for a second (maybe just to put her overhead mask on).

𓇼 Unlike most of the other Yellowjackets, I feel like Jackie wouldn’t change much compared to her pre-crash self. She’s still fun loving and incredibly touchy, which provides a great reassurance to you- even if she’s not the best helping the group out.

𓇼 Despite everything, Jackie would do her best to emanate the romance you two had before the crash, maintaining her flirty personality with you. Fleeting touches, pecks and kisses whenever she can, cheeky comments when you’re trying to do your chores. She’d still try and make herself look pretty for you too- using whatever was left of the little makeup she had packed for nationals.

𓇼 Jackie would probably end up following you around like a little dog when you’re busy, though. We know Jackie struggles with the physical labour aspect of the wilderness, so chances are she’d lean on you for a lot of things. Chopping timber? The axe is too heavy, you need to do it for her. Cooking something? It’s too hot, she doesn’t like to sit so close. Jackie could become a bit whiny, but you’re probably used to it by then. She’s also a total princess when she’s on her period, too. Literally becomes immobile.

𓇼 Jackie’s habit of shutting you out when she’s mad or giving you petty silent treatment would continue through even after the crash, I fear. Again though, after realising how serious everything is becoming she’d be quick to snap out of it with a cute apology and a flurry of kisses to your face.

𓇼 Problems could arise within your relationship as sometimes it can seem like Jackie doesn’t take the whole ‘stranded with limited resources’ thing seriously. It would be easy to get angry at Jackie, but after a well needed wake up call from you she’d be eager to help around the cabin.

𓇼 Jackie’s sex drive wouldn’t falter after crashing at all. She’d be trying to initiate just as much as she used to back home, although probably with a lower success rate. She’d try to tease you by suggesting doing it outside or sneaking out to get some ‘alone time’, or saying that she’s too cold and needs you even closer. For warmth, of course- totally not so she can nuzzle her hands up your shirt under your bra.

𓇼 Between you two, there would probably be a lot of crying. Having each-other for comfort would really strengthen your relationship. Although, trauma bonding is a key point in relationships with any Yellowjacket…

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daisyblog · 4 months ago

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You, Me and Baby

Young Love Masterlist Summary: Louis and YN discover they’re going to have a baby, but YN’s parents are far from pleased.

warning: highly sensitive topics, positive pregnancy test, pregnancy, mentions of abortion, emotional abuse, swearing, arguing, shouting

The bright shining sun teased her through the window as she waited patiently for the time to be up. YN’s heart thumped against her chest, as her eyes stared at the plastic stick sat on her bedside table.

Her period was 7 days late, and as much as she blamed hormones, stress and “it’ll come tomorrow”, YN knew she needed to take a pregnancy test just to rule out one of the main reasons her period still hadn’t made an appearance.

YN felt her chest take a deep breath as she prepared herself to turn over the test, the weight felt heavy on her shoulders. She debated if she should have told Louis but after arguing with herself, she decided she to do it by herself.

The shaky fingers reached for the white plastic that determined her future. She closed her eyes as she turned it over. Waiting for her breath to calm, she opened her eyes with force and there sat the answer.

Two pink lines.

YN feels her chest tighten as her heart beats against hit with a thud. Of course she had considered the possibility of her being pregnant but part of her believed her period was just late.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been staring at the two lines, her phone had been pinging next to her. She knew it was Louis and her friends. They had planned to hang out that afternoon. Knowing they were probably waiting for her, she placed the test and box in her bedroom bin and decided she would hide it later on before her parents got home.

---

YN tried to put a smile on her face throughout the afternoon as they all went to grab some lunch, before heading over to Ella’s house. But Louis knew YN better than she realised, he noticed how much quieter she was. He saw when she pushed the food around her plate, hardly eating anything. He knew she was faking her smile as she chatted to Ella and Hannah from across the table. Louis quickly made up an excuse that he needed to go home and help with his sisters, YN giving him a grateful smile knowing it was her way out of the gathering too,

Trying to find a quiet moment to tell Louis, was very hard to come by in the Tomlinson house. YN loved spending time at Louis, the chaos and the love was enough to warm her heart. She loved that although Louis was seventeen, he would still play the childish games with his sisters and watching as he helped Phoebe and Daisy with their building blocks, she couldn’t help but think that the baby she was currently carrying inside her may be luckiest little one to have such a loving father.

YN tried to pluck up the courage, knowing she had to tell Louis soon because she could feel it threaten to spill at any moment. “Lou…can we-“.

“Louis..YN…come and have a look at our dance show!”. Lottie ran into the lounge, interrupting the teenagers. But how could they say no.

Time was nearing where YN had to leave to go back home. She still hadn’t got the chance to tell Louis but the longer it was going on, the harder it was to start the conversation.

The sound of knocking could be heard from the living area but neither thought anything of it as Jay went to answer it.

“Where is he? Did you know about this?”. The sound of her father’s voice bellowing caught YN’s ears.

Without thought Louis and YN went into the hallway to see what the shouting was about. “Carl…if you’ll calm down…whatever is going on we can talk about this”. Jay’s motherly voice was a comfort to YN when she could see the anger covering her father’s face.

“Me calm down? I’m not fucking calming down! Do you know how angry me and Emma are right now? I’ll tell you how angry…fucking furious!”. Carl’s voice and anger continued to escalate.

YN stood slightly behind Louis, embarrassed at the show her father was putting on right now. “Dad! Please!”. She gulped down the nerves, knowing how silly she had been leaving the pregnancy test in clear view.

His angry eyes snapped to see YN and Louis stood there. “You!” He pointed at Louis, trying to take a step forward only for Jay to place her arm to stop him. “You…you’ve ruined our lives! You-”. Louis protectively stood in front of YN, have stood behind him, their hands still secured in each others.

Jay had been calm since the moment Carl had began shouting but when it came to her children, she would not tolerate it. “Excuse me! You don’t talk to anyone like that…especially my son! That’s my son you’re talking to and I will not have it!”.

Carl let out a sarcastic breath with a fake chuckle. “Well I hate to break it to you darling but your precious little son has got my daughter pregnant!”.

YN could feel Louis tense as her father revealed what she had been hiding. She knew this was the moment that she was left just her and the little baby they had created. She could feel the tears burn her eyes, her heart thumped deep in her body.

“I’m sorry”. YN whispered for Louis to hear as she rested her head against his tense back. He remained still in his spot, silent as the words sunk in but his fingers rubbing her hand was the tiny bit of reassurance she needed in that moment.

“You are a vile and disgusting man!”. Jay spoke up, breaking the silence that surrounded the four of them. “You come to my house…shout, swear and scream when I have four young children sleeping upstairs…you threaten my son and humiliate your own daughter…you should be ashamed of yourself!”.

Louis and YN still stood in the exact same spot, watching the scene in front of them unfold. YN had been hurt by her parents for as long as she could remember but the next few words her father spoke stung.

“I’m ashamed that she is my daughter and got knocked up at seventeen…she’s humiliated us!”. His voice was full of hatred and the look of disgust on his face said a million words. “You get rid of that baby or you’re out on the streets!”.

“Get out of my house now before I call the police!”. Jay’s motherly instincts when into overdrive. “You don’t deserve a daughter like YN…and don’t come near my son and YN again!”. Jay slammed the front door shut, before turning to look at Louis and YN. “Cup of tea anyone?”.

---

With cups of tea in each of their hands, the three of them sat in the lounge area. YN couldn’t think properly at the moment. From finding out she was pregnant this morning, to not having a home anymore was a lot to process.

“I’m really sorry you had to find out that way”. YN didn’t look up from her hands that held the beige mug. “I’ve tried to find a way all day to tell you”.

“You don’t have to be sorry babe, I’m just shocked…I wasn’t expecting it”. Louis gently spoke from next to her. Jay listened from her seat, feeling so proud at how mature her son was being and it was in that moment that she knew she had raised him well. “We’re in this together, yeah?”.

YN couldn’t find the words but a small nodded was all she could manage as she looked up at Louis.

“YN?”. Her eyes followed Jay’s voice. “You have a home here and I’m with you both every step of the way…you’re part of this family!”.

Taglist:

@ell0ra-br3kk3r @slaymybreathaway @wh0s-nadii

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alottiegoingon · 6 months ago

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hc! beecoming three

lottie matthews x fem!reader

summary: the one where you are pregnant and lottie loves to take care of you

warnings: endless amount of fluff it might make you throw up, established relationship, lottie and reader live together, characters are aged up, lottie being protective and an angel, mentions of sex but nothing explicit, not proofread

@l0tt1emy i hope you like this bby

𓆦 ever since you told lottie that she was going to be a mom, she became the happiest woman to ever live

𓆦 it’s not like neither of you weren’t expecting it to happen and had spent lots of money so you could finally be moms, but it was a pleasant surprise

𓆦 except for the fact that lottie’s life only purpose was to take care of you now and it was starting to concern you

𓆦 “baby, just come to bed,” you pout, tapping the empty space on your side as you begged her to join you

𓆦 after dinner, lottie had spent hours fixing the smallest details ever on the baby’s bedroom and organizing a huge bag with itens that could be needed for when you two had to rush to the hospital

𓆦 “but we need to be ready! what if the baby decides to come earlier?” she stops by the door holding diapers, with messy hair sticking to her sweaty forehead and looking exactly like 🥺

𓆦 “lott, the baby is six weeks old”

𓆦 lottie would always wake up early to make you breakfast, trying her best to make it healthy and nutritious for you and the baby. at some days, it was still dark outside when you tattered for her in bed but she wasn’t there because she got up at like 5am to get ingredients for meals

𓆦 when you decided to wake up earlier than usual after noticing her absence, you walk on your tiptoes to the kitchen just to find her mixing the ingredients for pancakes in a bowl

𓆦 quietly, you stop behind her and wrap your arms around her waist, briefly giving her cheek a tender kiss and resting your chin on her shoulder. “good morning, love”

𓆦 lottie wasn’t expecting you to be up so early and immediately flinched at your touch, making you two share a good laugh. she looks back at you and kisses your forehead

𓆦 “what are you doing here so early? are you alright? feeling sick? too cold?” she drops everything she’s doing to fully pay attention to you and make sure you are feeling 100% okay, inspecting every inch of your body and even hair

𓆦 “i’m fine,” you say, grabbing lottie’s anxious hands to hold them firmly in order to calm her nerves, “i just missed you. it’s so early, you should be in bed.”

𓆦 “i’m sorry,” lottie, now less anxious, nods and let go of your hands to gently place her warm touch on your stomach and slowly rub her fingers in a caress

𓆦 “i know i’m exaggerating but i just want everything to be okay,” she pouts and you felt the sudden urge to just squeeze her 😫

𓆦 “everything is fine, lottie. everything will be okay thanks to you,” you smile at her, getting closer to cup her cheeks and smooch her entire face

𓆦 eventually, she got less nervous about everything, not worrying or overthinking the small details too much. that doesn’t mean that she was any less eager to please you

𓆦 a few weeks later, you were in bed and it was past midnight when you couldn’t sleep, craving some ice cream. you didn’t want to wake up lottie and make her leave just to get you stupid ice cream but you would die for it at this point!

𓆦 “do you think the market is open now?” you whisper, turning your head to face lottie. it was almost instantly. the second she connected the words ‘market’ and ‘now’ her eyes fluttered open and she was already getting out of bed

𓆦 “i’m on my way, baby! what do you want?” she doesn’t even change clothes, just put a sweatshirt on top of her pajamas and heads out when she got all the information she needed

𓆦 thirty minutes later, lottie called you from the kitchen and the first thing you see when you get there is the counter covered in lots of ice cream with different flavors and a bunch of sweets and chips as well

𓆦 “oh my god,” you gasp, eyes wide open at the scary amount of food

𓆦 “i wasn’t sure if you liked vanilla so i decided to get others as well,” she explained with a super proud smile, “and some other stuff too cause i don’t want you to be hungry”

𓆦 before feasting on a full carton of ice cream, you were pretty sure that lottie almost ran out of breath thanks to your endless kisses and tight hugs

𓆦 singing to the baby was her thing. lazy sundays would be followed by lottie’s soothing voice singing the most beautiful songs ever and, sometimes, songs she wrote herself

𓆦 not only could she sing but she could spend hours speaking to your belly. telling the baby stories from your teenage years or gossiping about aunties taissa and van, reading stories or just being an adorable goofball, lottie was always near

𓆦 sitting on bed, lottie was lying on your side, elbows against the mattress for support and face inches away from your small bump

𓆦 “fuck!” she gasps, quickly withdrawing her hand from you as she feels the baby kicking into her touch. she was freaking out!

𓆦 “wait, sorry, i meant to say duck! please don’t repeat that,” she talks to the baby, hurrying to get closer again and place her entire palm on you, smiling incredibly big

𓆦 “i think the baby likes your voice, lott,” you whisper, tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear, keeping your fingers in there to rub her scalp

𓆦 “you think so?” she lift her head up to meet your gaze and she’s adorable. her face lights up like a fucking christmas tree ☹️

𓆦 lottie was having the time of her life any time she had to go out with you to shop baby clothes, accessories for the nursery or, really, anything related to you and your child. decorating the nursery was also her favorite activity

𓆦 she would buy thousands of plushies and cute blankets, millions of colorful books and lots of toys even though the baby wasn’t due for another five months

𓆦 “you won’t believe what i got for our baby!” is the first thing she says as she opens the door, running towards the couch where you were in with a box

𓆦 she lets you open and it’s a TINY SHIRT OF THE YELLOWJACKETS TEAM WITH THE NUMBER ZERO ON IT 😔

𓆦 when it became impossible for you to sleep, always sick, irritated, swollen or just exhausted, lottie would stick to your side and would try her best to not fall asleep

𓆦 “i’m not sleepy, i promise. go on, finish that story,” she murmurs with a tired and raspy voice in the pitch black of the bedroom. you couldn’t see her properly but you felt comfortable with your head resting on her shoulder and her hand around your body

𓆦 “so, jackie was telling me that shauna told her that mari once said that she found a recipe for a soup that included boiling a belt!” the tiny remains of any sleep you had inside you vanished as you were gossiping with your girlfriend

𓆦 “can you believe that? and who would ever eat a boiled belt for dinner? people are so crazy nowadays and i-“ you abruptly stop, shifting positions to look up at lottie snoring

𓆦 “oh, you’re sleeping,” you whisper, tightening your lips to suppress a giggle

𓆦 lottie was worried 24/7 but also extremely protective. even if it was extremely hot outside, she would beg you to carry a jacket with you

𓆦 she thought about bringing a spare jacket for you and carry it around just in case you got cold but she really wanted to give you her jacket cause pooks is just a hopeless romantic angel 🤗

𓆦 lottie was very gentle and careful all the time, but when it came to sex, you could practically beg her to do you and she would still be so hesitant

𓆦 not even when giving her very obvious hints like whining on her ear all day long about how needy you were, letting innocent touches linger or putting on a nice lingerie would be enough to convince her. lottie was too worried with the idea of accidentally hurting you

𓆦 just when lottie was much more used to the daily routine of living with her pregnant girlfriend, you wake her up in the middle of the night, poking her shoulder. “lottie? wake up.”

𓆦 taking all the time in the world to turn the small lamp on, lottie knows that everything is fine. you probably just wanted her to get you something to eat or a drink. the lamp on

𓆦 “want some water, love?” she asks, half asleep, rubbing her eyes that were still adjusting to the light

𓆦 “no, i’m okay. but i think the baby is coming,” you whisper, trying not to panic and to not make your girlfriend panic. the baby was early by four weeks!

𓆦 lottie’s sleepy expression and drowsy eyes quickly fade away as she bolts out of the bed, hitting her knee against the bed frame on her way to you

𓆦 “i told you we should have packed the things for the hospital before!!!”

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #lottie matthews #lottie matthews x reader

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roxygen22 · 10 months ago

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FAMILY BUSINESS

"My Little Cocoa Bean" Series

Willy was absolutely smitten by his "little cocoa bean," Benjamin. You called him Ben for short, but Willy affectionately called him Bean. He stayed home from the factory for a bit to help you recover and bond with the baby. He made the most of his limited time off doting on you both. Unless Ben was feeding, he was in Willy's arms. He was truly a devoted, loving father and husband.

Willy went back to work when Ben was about three weeks old. It was an adjustment to be alone with the baby all day, but it made Willy's returns in the evening all the more sweeter. After about six months, he came home with an idea.

"Now that he is a little older and more sturdy, why don't I take Bean with me to work one or two days a week so that you can have some time to yourself?" Willy not-so-secretly struggled going back to work, often lamenting how much he missed you both, but he knew he had to provide for his family.

"Oh my. I love the concept, but how are you going to handle business or have your hands free to make chocolate?" you asked as it took both of your hands to keep Ben from launching himself out of your lap to get to his papa.

"Easy!" Willy exclaimed as he scooped up the baby. "I saw Lottie today, and she had little Georgie tied to her chest with a wrap. Then it clicked - I could do that, too! Besides, babies are good for business! He's so cute, he'll draw a crowd," he mused as he squished his nose against Ben's chubby cheek, then turned to you with a pouty lip.

"I guess we could give it a try. Maybe start with a half day?" you said, excited about the potential but nervous about its execution. You loved your husband, but you were not sure he fully understood what he was in for. You did, however, always admire his determination to get what he wanted in life, even if he resorted to playing on your sympathies with a pout.

"Great! I already went by the store to get fabric to make a sling." You shook your head fondly and went about your evening routine.

Thanks to his mamma's teachings, Willy was handy with a needle and thread. A couple of nights later, his contraption was ready for testing at home. Ben was quite cozy snuggled up on his father's chest, gently babbling while Willy washed the dishes after dinner. Everything was going swimmingly. "Tomorrow would be a good day to try this out for real," he said. "I don't have any business meetings, so I'll just be splitting my time between the stores and the factory."

"Ok," you said tentatively. "I'll get his bag ready and write down his daytime schedule." The next morning, you loaded Willy down with everything he would need - extra clothes for both father and son, burp cloths, bottles, diapering supplies, etc. "So he'll need to eat again in a couple of hours. That will probably be when he needs another diaper change. And he'll need to go down for a na..."

Willy put a hand on your arm to interrupt you, rubbing up and down to calm your nerves. "I've got this. Okay? I want you to focus on enjoying your alone time." Admittedly, you were looking forward to a chance to curl up with a good book without intertuption for a few hours.

"Alright, Bean, ready for some adventure?" The baby cooed and raspberried spit all over Willy's hand. "I'll take that as a yes. Allons-y! Wave bye to mamma!"

"Bye bye, my boys. Have a good day!" You stood at the front door and waved them off.

<><><><>

Willy stopped first at his flagship store in the Galeries Gourmet to ensure things were in order. Mrs. Pennington, a regular customer always in the company of her granddaughter, spotted the chocolatier. "Well, hello there, Mrs. Pennington, Miss Hannah," he greeted and tipped his hat at the ladies. "Are you finding everything okay?"

"Indeed, Mr. Wonka. Thank you," the grandmother smiled. "And who is this handsome little one?" Ben babbled and cooed.

"This is my son, Bean. I mean, Benjamin," Willy replied with a proud smile.

"Oh, how lovely. Learning the family business early, eh?"

"As my mamma said, 'It's not the chocolate that matters. It's the people you share it with.'"

"I remember when my children were that little. Soak it up, Mr. Wonka. It doesn't last long." She patted the baby on the cheek and then continued her shopping. Willy turned around to wipe away a tear and kiss his son on the head.

Ben seemed to enjoy interacting with customers, smiling at their baby talk and staring around the store with wide eyes. But after a couple of hours, he started to fuss. The cashier was on break, so Willy was working the register, bouncing the baby in an attempt to silence his whimpers until he could break away to make a bottle. "Would you like your change spendable or edible?" He practically had to shout at the customers to be heard over Ben's fussing. Luckily the cashier came back before fussing became screaming.

"Okay, Bean, give me just a second and we'll silence those tummy grumbles," he said as he made his way to the stockroom. He deftly prepped a bottle and freed the baby from the sling. Very soon, Ben was reclining in Willy's arms and greedily sucking down a bottle. "See, I told your mamma I've got this."

<><><><>

Once Ben was fed and changed, Willy packed up the diaper bag and set out for the factory. Lulled by his father's swaying, Ben stayed asleep for a good while even after being transferred into the bassinet Willy had set up in his office. Inventing and chocolate making weren't exactly quiet endeavors, so Willy caught up on a bit of bookkeeping instead.

Ben eventually started stirring, alerting Willy with his soft coos. "Hi, sleepy head. Are you ready to go make some chocolate?" Willy set him back in the sling and made his way to the Idea Lab. Feeling refreshed from his nap, the little one was very alert, so Willy thought it would be fun to make this an interactive experience.

"Alright, Bean, I need to come up with something new, and you're going to help me," Willy announced while holding up two jars. "Which jar should I start with?" Of course, Ben's attention was grabbed by the brighest color of the two. "Ooh, essence of rainbow. Good call. What next?" he asked, continuing to hold up two jars at a time for the baby to choose from until he gathered enough.

Willy added the ingredients to his travel factory, which he still used for small batch experiments. Ben stared in wonder as the brightly colored liquids flowing down the spiral tube and giggled at the production noises. Willy was busy pressing buttons and pulling levers when the first chocolates came out of the machine and didn't pay close enough attention to Ben's stray hands. Willy looked down to see the baby's tiny hand grabbing and mashing melted chocolate into the fabric of the sling, his hair, and both of their shirts.

"Well, now I understand why your mother sent spare clothes for both of us." He wiped chocolate off his son's cheek with a finger and licked it. "Tastes good, though! I need to write that concoction down."

<><><><>

You were sitting on the couch with your book when Willy came home at lunchtime. Both boys and even their spare clothes were covered in chocolate. You had to stifle a giggle as you tried to figure out how to best grab the sticky baby without getting covered yourself.

Willy gave you a tired look but also huffed a quiet laugh. "I may have overestimated my ability to keep things under control. I don't know how you get anything done, my sweet. I always knew you were amazing, but you must have superhuman powers."

"Perhaps," you winked as you stripped Ben out of his clothes and started rinsing him off in the sink. "Are you sure you still want to make this a regular occurrence?"

"I would do it again in a heartbeat. But not before I have a bath."

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

MASTERLIST

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lottiesgrl · 5 days ago

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𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁-𝗰𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗵 𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗯𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗲

cw: n/a

༉‧₊˚. lottie hasn't always been known to be the most verbal, even before the crash. she had opened up to you about how sometimes it's hard for her to find her voice, and how some days it felt like she could barely speak at all. you'd always been kind with her, gentle and understanding when she didn't want to talk much. you were one of the only ones who really understood her in that regard.

༉‧₊˚. after the crash, you were one of the first people to see her. she'd recognize your voice anywhere. you're crying out for her, trying to be louder than the press with their questions and accusations, and for a moment you see her turn to you and look you in the eye. she looks so much different than when you last saw her. she doesn't say a single word, just keeps that eye contact with you until authorities rush her off.

༉‧₊˚. you spend the entire day with her when she's finally released after they treat her wounds and assess her mentally. her family lets you - to them, it's less effort to try and "fix" their broken daughter. they warn you that they were told she refused to speak, but you don't care. none of that matters. all that matters is that you had your lottie back. you wrap her up into the tightest hug possible, crying and sobbing into her shoulder, and she doesn't say anything. she can't say anything. all she can do is wrap her shaking hands around you and hug you in return.

༉‧₊˚. her parents thought that maybe it was the shock of being rescued that caused her to stop talking. they told you that in time, she should return to "normal", that it would just be a long process. frankly, you aren't listening to any of their bullshit. why should any of that matter? lottie is here, alive, and in your arms. that's what's most important.

༉‧₊˚. she starts to get the hang of "communicating" with you. it starts out small; a tug at your sleeve after you've been lying in bed together for most of the day, followed by gesturing at her lips. you ask if she's hungry and you get a small nod in return. you're grateful that she's started to communicate her needs to you, and you can tell by the telltale glint in her eyes that she's appreciating it just as much as you are.

༉‧₊˚. you also start to notice the way she'll get up at odd hours of the night. you'll wake up at two in the morning to an empty bed, and, concerned for lottie's wellbeing, you'll check every corner of her expansive house to try and find her. you'll usually find her by the glass doors leading out to the porch, staring out into the woods on the outskirts of their lawn. you place a gentle hand on her shoulder, asking if she's ok, and she doesn't respond. you both stay like that for a while, neither one of you moving, until eventually she turns to you and crumples into your arms. you hold her, smoothing a hand over her back until she's calmed down enough to come back to bed.

༉‧₊˚. while you're both more than content to stay like this, there comes a time where you both have to leave the house for one reason or another. you promise lottie that you'll be by her side no matter what, and she nods, tears in her eyes as you cup her face and stroke your thumb over her cheek. from the second you leave, there are reporters swarming you, looking for any information on the details of the crash. you can see lottie tensing up, her grip on your hand tightening by the second. eventually, it all gets to be too much, and you snap at them and tell them all to fuck off because you both have nothing to say to them. you weren't expecting it to work, but to your surprise, they back off slowly. lottie breathes a sigh of relief and gives you a shy smile, squeezing your hand as if to thank you.

༉‧₊˚. being out in public used to frighten lottie. the first time she went out, she was so overwhelmed, and everyone kept looking at her like she was some sort of freak. every time you went to order food, they'd question why she wasn't speaking. she thought that she'd never get used to going in public; however, as always, you were there to help her. from then on, when you went out to eat, you'd always pull up the menu beforehand to make sure you knew what she wanted to eat. you'd even made her a personalized set of communication cards as she hadn't really liked any of the ones she'd seen online.

༉‧₊˚. ever since going non-verbal, you've become really attentive to her smiles. you've always thought that it's the best thing in the world whenever she smiles, and that's even more true after she stops speaking. she had a whole range of smiles, from shy to sad to elated. it took her a really long time to smile after the crash, but you were the first person to see her smile again. you almost burst into tears on the spot.

༉‧₊˚. you love lottie so much, whether or not she's verbal.

#yellowjackets #lottie yellowjackets #lottie matthews #x reader #yellowjackets x reader #lottie x reader #lottie matthews x reader #x you #lottie matthews x you #a bit self indulgent i cant lie #but i have never been good at decision making #relationship headcanons will be soon #trust

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artinvain · 4 months ago

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your darker sevika fic ideas have my brain going brrrrrrrrrrrrrr and i think we must be on similar wavelengths because lately i've been thinking about reader being obsessive and stalker-ish toward sevika and sevika just finding it charming 'cause she's a little fucked up like that ugh i love her

good lordddyyyy

cw: stalking, slight violence, blood mention, smut, dark!reader

(men, minors, ageless and blank blogs dnf)

It starts off small, you start training to serve at the last drop and sevika is your first customer. you’re flustered and she’s laying it on thick with charm just to see you smile. she can tell you’re taken and it just makes we want to woo you more. It seems different, you don’t want anything from sevika - you seem to want to give things to her.

you’re both immediately enamoured, sevika much less revealing about it. you start to ask around about her not knowing it would get to her but it does.

then she sees you in babette’s she’s pissed because “why did you start working here?” she spits when you come to the table. In all honesty it’s because you know where she likes to go, and you wanted to make sure of something.

“I needed the extra money, I’m just bar tending sevika I promise,” you seem to reassure her, even though she doesn’t deserve it - you two don’t know each other.

“I’ll get you a whiskey,”

when you leave, you take a detour in the back of the kitchen to the rooms. lottie was one of Sevika’s favourites and she had a big mouth.

you figured if you could get your message to lottie she would surely pass it on.

“charlotte,” you whisper and she crooks her head at you, watching you in the threshold of the door through the vanity mirror.

“what do you want?” lottie spits. you were new around and you asked too many questions, you were some kind of freak she’d heard - a new one to town speaking of practicing arcane and all kinds of nonsense

“I need to ask you for something,” you ask smiling small and locking the door behind you. lottie stands and faces you, she stands close like she’s trying to be intimidating. but there wasn’t a bone in you that cared.

she was trying to hold on to someone who did not belong to her. sevika was yours.

“and what’s that?”

“I like you lottie - so I’m warning you. stay away from sevika,” you place a hand gingerly on her cheek and she frowns in confusion.

“sevika has lots of girls”

“that’s why you’ll warn them,” you nod and your nails sink into the skin on her belly button, you rip the ring from her stomach and let it clatter to the floor as she does with a scream.

you sigh and kneel over her as she scrambles away from you, “you’re a fucking freak,” she gasps, red seeping down her skirt. “I hope you can heed my warning before something serious happens,” you say and leave her room.

when you get back to your tables sevika is gone, and everyone refuses your service, you couldn’t do shit and you were tipped any. by the end of the night babette lets you go.

when sevika goes back the next day she’s satisfied to see you gone. smirked at the thought of turning one of her girls over imagining you whining out her name below her.

only none of her girls will even see her, the scamper away - more afraid than usual, looking around paranoid.

when she finds out (because she will always find out) she can’t help but lean back in her chair and chuckle

she’s always the one chasing, the one possessing and to have someone want her so desperately.

it makes her hips buck. oh she’s fucked.

and then she starts getting gifts, food and knitted sweaters and baked goods and letters - poetry and “I hope I’m not too forward - I just want to make sure you’re taken care of,”

you never sign your name and you don’t have to.

she’s not surprised when — as she walks through your apartment, fingering as your lingerie and looking over your book titles — you walk into your apartment and you don’t scream.

“sevika,” you exhale, “you’re here,” you approach her slowly.

sevika pulls you in close and cups the back of your head.

“you could’ve been in serious trouble for what you did to lottie if I didn’t protect you,” she mumurs into your ear and toy swallow.

“I’m sorry, she just wouldn’t back off and I told her to. it was a warning,” you say looking over her face and all you see is soft grey eyes and furrowed brows and bitten lips.

“why?”

“because I belong to you sevika and you have to see that you belong to me too,” you whine desperately and sevika swoops down to kiss you, pressing her hips against yours.

“so you’ll do anything I say?”

“of course,” you mumble against her lips as her hands squeeze your ass

she has you brought to her loft and she’s kissing every piece of flesh she reveals.

“oh fuck good girl, better than anyone else - shit, look so pretty letting me ride your face.”

sevika groans as she holds your head still and fucks your waiting tongue, twisting against her and tasting her.

and then she’s laying herself over you, strap sliding in deep as your eyes roll back.

“m’gonna come home to you every day and fuck you senseless,” she moans as she winds her hips “gotta make sure my pretty little housewife is all taken care of,”

you whine backing into her and yelling into the pillows as she rubs your clit.

😚🏷️ @lesbian-useless @archangeldyke-all @sexysapphicshopowner @sevsbaby @iamaboringrattat @lavendersgirl @bimboprincezz @opropheticsoul @ariariarr @femme-historian

#lesbian #lesbian smut #18+ mdni #men dni #sevika arcane #sevika arcane smut #nsft lesbian #mdni

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sweetbillwriting · 3 months ago

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In The Dead of Night

NINE

Characters: AU Eric played by Bill Skarsgård from The Crow (2024)

Setting: This story is set in A WHOLE OTHER WORLD than the movie. Shelley isn't a part of this story. Eric will be different from the movie, especially because I haven't seen the movie.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Notes: I have STILL not seen the movie because it hasn't premiered here yet!

“I just think about him a lot. I'm sorry, I don't have the right to do that; I haven't even met him; I just believe I would have really liked him…”

I sat opposite Lotti by her little table with Eric's photo albums in front of us. Sneakily, I had put back the photos I've stolen because I didn't need them anymore.

I shouldn't have been there; I was lying to her in the most awful way, but I also went behind Eric's back to find out things he didn't want to tell me. I had the answers right there, and my curiosity took over.

“You know, I think he would have liked you too. You have a curiosity he would have liked. You feel comfortable with yourself, but with optimism and creativity. He would have liked that,” Lotti said with a smile. She had a good day today and talked about Eric with a smile. I smiled back at her by her words, but the warmth in my chest was from the memory of hearing Eric say “I love you” to me. He had said it that morning on the phone. I would go to him later that night; he worked late that Saturday, so I didn't have a reason to go to him that early, but I had a key to his apartment, so I didn't need to wait for him.

“Can't you tell me more about him? Why do you think he started to take drugs?”

Lotti looked out through the window and smiled sadly. It felt like she had a need to talk about everything, and I was right; my simple question made her tell me stories I never thought I would hear.

×××

Lotti looked at the little boy in the playroom, through the plexiglas. He wore a striped long-sleeved shirt in green shades and red sweatpants. The clothes were a bit big and looked well-used, probably from other kids social services had rescued from dysfunctional homes. He was two years old but lacked the chubby cheeks other two-year-olds would have but also was disinterested in the toys surrounding him. A white rabbit stuffy lay just in front of him, but he didn't give it a look; he just looked around. A young social worker sat by his side and looked at him with wonder. He looked like a doll with his big green eyes, and he sat just as still with his small hands resting on his thighs.

“He can't stand up yet or crawl, so that's probably why he doesn't play,” said the social worker next to Lotti and her husband Eric. They nodded a little even if something else felt wrong.

“Why can't he do that? Does he have a disability?” Eric asked the social worker and looked at baby Eric again. He hadn't moved an inch.

“No, no. He's healthy. Just a little underweight and some rashes. Ehm… We believe he hasn't left the crib very often. Most of his time had probably been spent alone in the bed-”

“What? Has his mother left him in the crib?” Lotti looked between the social worker and the boy, upset.

"Yes, but that is nothing that will shape him. He's so young, so that's nothing you’ll need to worry about.”

The social worker said it with assurance, even if there wasn't any research on the subject in the 90s.

Lotti nodded but felt a lump in her throat.

"His mother is sentenced to six months in prison for drug trafficking, but we believe she needs help with the boy after that too. She must make changes to be able to get him back.”

Lotti was sure. She didn't need to know any more. She wouldn't leave that boy to his destiny. They had room for one more child in their home, and Eric, her husband, earned enough money as a seller in the technology field. It was a business growing every day, and his salary went up with it. He looked at Lotti with a calming smile. He knew his wife had already made a decision, and he felt the same. They could give the boy the security he never had. He looked at the papers, seeing the boy’s name, the surname they shared. It felt like a sign. He wasn't the religious type, but Eric was a family name, a name passed on with love and respect.

The social secretary opened the door to the room baby Eric was in, and the married couple saw him look towards it with a fast movement. They walked in slowly to him, afraid that their presence would scare him, but he sat the same way and looked at them with big eyes. Carefully, Eric lifted up the boy in his arms, and Lotti moved close to them. His eyes shifted from side to side, looking at them. He looked sad but with a calm curiosity.

“Hey Eric, hey sweetie…” said Lotti. He looked at her the same way, but his eyes gave away so many emotions. Lotti dragged a finger over her cheek, wiping away a tear. For her, it was impossible to think that the boy's mom didn't want to take care of him; he had an aura—a much stronger aura than other kids his age had. It was just something with him. Lotti looked at her husband, who had pulled the boy closer to his chest. Both could feel it in their bones, and they could see in the other's eyes they felt the same thing. This boy was theirs. This boy was theirs, and they would do everything in their power for him to only be theirs and save him from his mother and all the darkness.

×××

Little Eric stood on a chair by the sink next to Lotti. He was quite short for his four years but had a personality bigger than other boys his age, and so lovable Lotti could see how others envied her. He stood and washed the dishes with her and laughed while playing with the bubbles. He always wanted to be close to them, always wanting to help.

“You're so good at this, Eric!” Said Lotti with a laugh when he gave her a completely clean glass. Eric laughed again so she could see the deep dimple in his cheek. She kissed it hard and dragged her fingers through his messy hair. In just a few hours, he would go to his biological mother and then come back to them as a shell again. He never told them what happened at his mother's, and that was what made it harder for them to do something. There was no proof the bruises on his little body were from something else than rough playing, but Lotti knew her boy so well, his games well, and it wasn't bruises from the playground.

Lotti woke up from her thoughts when she heard her other son in the living room. He was playing video games and made sound effects for the game. Eric looked towards the living room, and when Lotti did it too, he waved with his little hand, showing that he wanted them to look at what Robin was doing. He always wanted skin-to-skin contact, so Lotti pulled him up on her hip and carried him out to the living room. Robin gave them a bit of an irritated look but wiped it away when his mom dragged her fingers through his hair.

“Are you winning?”

“Yes!” He screamed proudly, and Lotti giggled at him. She looked at Eric, who didn't seem to find the game amusing, and instead looked out from the living room's big window.

��It's sunny…” he said with a small voice. Lotti often got the feeling he didn't dare to use his full voice, and he almost whispered when he talked.

“Do you want to go out? Should we go out and draw a little?”

Eric nodded and dragged his hand over her neck. He was soon five years old but felt both younger and older at the same time.

They moved out to the back of the house, in the early spring sun. She could see Robin through the window and, at the same time, make the last few hours of Eric's time there the best she could. He sat in her lap, drawing whales and colorful birds. He was great at it and could disappear into it completely, but not today. She knew he knew what would happen soon. How they would put him in the car and drive him to the social service office, where his biological mom would get him. She knew he would cry in panic and how the social worker would need to pull him away from her neck. She knew Linda would look smug when she left with their son, not because he wanted her more, just that she was his mom, whatever they said. She didn't need Eric's love; she just wanted to win.

Lotti knew she would cry the rest of the day and think about what Eric did at his mom's place. She wondered in what state he would come home in. Eric hugged her hand hard in his and looked up at her with his big soulful eyes. They were shining with tears.

“I love you, mommy…”

It was a plea, a cry for help, but she couldn't do anything. She took a deep breath so she wouldn't start crying and hugged his little body against hers.

“I love you too, Eric. My baby, my son... I love you most in the entire world.”

×××

It was the third meeting they have had with Eric's school that year. Becoming a teenager was not easy for him, and it revealed sides in him they hadn't noticed before.

He had been such a calm child, and after he stopped seeing his mother, he also started to feel safe and comfortable in his own skin, but instead of those sides growing in him, other things took over.

While some teenagers became a bit moody, he got depressed and had a hard time getting up from bed in the mornings. When he finally was in school, he couldn't concentrate and did things you should absolutely not do in a classroom. Playing with a lighter and burning things up was his favorite, painting on the walls another. Even if all his teachers saw that he was a nice boy with serious problems, they kicked him out of the classroom, and Eric found himself chain smoking and listening to music that matched his mood. He was lonely. Extremely lonely, so when the wrong sort of people stretched a hand out to him, he was quick with taking it.

“We haven't seen Eric for a week now. If it continues like this, we're forced to call social service,” said the principal and leaned against his desk. Lotti looked at her husband and sighed deeply. It was always heartbreaking to hear about how Eric slowly destroyed his life. She knew it wasn't his fault. His biological mother had probably taken substances while pregnant; he had trauma since his childhood with her, and on top of that, he had such severe panic attacks that he had cried for death.

“Eric is a lovely young man and is really appreciated as a person-”

“So why don't you help him more? The only thing you do is throw him out of the classroom! Why should he go to school when no one wants him here?” Lotti said, upset. The principal gave her husband a look, like he thought he should calm his wife down, but Eric felt the same thing and looked at the principal with an angry look.

“We must think about the other students... You haven't thought about maybe taking Eric to a doctor? To get some help with his... problems?”

Lotti looked down at her hands and sighed deeply. She knew they probably needed to do that, but pulling him away to a doctor felt awful. He didn't need that on top of everything else.

×××

Robin always came home from school alone, even if they had told him to drive his brother home. They had given him a new metallic red Mercedes, and it’d been clear that he would give Eric a ride home. Robin always said Eric wanted to go home by himself, and their parents didn't know what to think. Eric liked being alone, but it was a long way home. Lotti looked at Robin disappear to his bedroom with two girls laughing while she sat down by the window. She worried the whole day for Eric and how the medications would affect him. He was such a sweet boy, and she didn't want to destroy that with all the pills he had been prescribed.

She smiled a little when she saw him come walking. He looked like a black raincloud in his black zip hoodie, black jeans, black hair, and black eyeliner around his eyes. He carried his khaki backpack on one shoulder, full of pins from different bands and motifs made to provoke. Still, the kids on the street jump around him. Eric smiled a little while they tried to impress him with their skateboards and MP3 players. Lotti got warm in her chest. It was just something really special with him, and everyone liked him.

“Hey mom!” He shouted when he came in through the door.

"Hey, honey,” answered Lotti and walked out to the hallway to meet him. He had pulled off his hoodie and surprised her with a yellow t-shirt, a sex pistol t-shirt, and he had put his converse neatly on the shoe rack.

He gave her a hug, like he always did when he came home and Lotti took his hand. They needed to talk but were interrupted by Robin's laugh. He came down with his two girlfriends, and Lotti let go of Eric's hand to not embarrass him in front of the older girls. They giggled when they saw him, and he got red in the cheeks and ears.

“Hey Eric,” said one of the girls, and the both of them giggled. Robin rolled his eyes.

“Don't forget to come home for dinner,” said Lotti to her oldest son while her younger son stood looking down on the floor.

“Yeah, yeah!” He answered and opened the door for the girls. Just before he closed it, both Lotti and Eric heard one of the girls say, excited:

“Your brother is so fucking cute!”

Lotti looked at her youngest son, who smiled embarrassed but tried to hide it from his mother. She smiled at him, amused. It was true; he was cute, and she knew he would be more than that one day. She wished she didn't need to have the talk she needed to have with him—let him bask in the girl’s words—but instead she needed to take him to the kitchen, where his medications stood in a row.

“So this is for your ADD, this is the antidepressants, these you can take if you have anxiety, these are for the OCD…” Lotti looked at a note while pointing at the medications in front of them. Eric looked at the medications and dragged his hand over a bruise on his neck he had told his parents was from his karate training. He saw something else than his mom did while looking at the pills.

“You can have them here in the kitchen, in a cabinet-”

Eric gave her a disliking look.

“Robin's friends are always here digging around; can't I just have it in my room?” He said and continued to drag his hand over the bruise. Lotti looked at her son. He was a trustworthy young man, and she trusted him with her life.

“Okay, but you must take them every day.”

Eric nodded, taking the medications in his hands, and walked up the stairs. He would take them every day, but also take more and more for every day.

×××

“That doctor… I can't understand why he felt it was a good idea to give a fourteen-year-old so many medications… But also…” Lotti sighed and looked down at the pictures of Eric. “I can't understand how I thought it was a good idea for him to take care of it all himself. I forgot he wasn't my own flesh and blood so many times…”

I sat in silence for a while, until Lotti sighed.

“But what happened then? I guess you noticed he had taken them all?”

Lotti nodded.

“Yes, and we didn't get him any more medications. He tried to tell us he wouldn't do it again, but we weren't that stupid this time. Then I kinda... Forgot about it all?” Lotti looked shameful. “You must understand, Eric was such a lovely young man with me and others around; I kind of forgot he actually didn't feel well, or maybe I didn't want to believe so? He was just sweet all the time, so we didn't notice he fixed his own drugs instead.”

“Like what?”

“First I think it was weed, then he started with ecstasy and amphetamine... I don't really know when he started to take opiates.”

It was all so sad. They had wanted to give him everything, but his background caught up with him. He had inherited the addiction gene and was also traumatized by abuse. He didn't have a chance. His anxiety had taken over his life, and he still was fighting so hard.

I looked at Lotti while she dried her tears with her floral napkin. I wanted to tell her that the person she loves the most was alive and quite happy, but I didn't dare. I didn't know how that would affect her, and I didn't want to create fights with either Robin or Eric. It was both their choice, and I wanted to give them both respect.

“Did he take drugs all the time after that?”

Lotti looked up at me again and made a loud exhalation. It probably took all her power to talk about Eric, but she continued anyway.

“No, he had a girlfriend that got him to stop, Felice, but when the relationship started to go south, he also felt a need for drugs. And then… With Simone, everything got so much worse.” I looked at Lotti with big eyes. I could feel a stir of anger in my stomach when I thought about Simone, but also jealousy, it was hard thinking about Eric with another woman.

“She broke his heart. Eric was a sensitive boy—so sensitive, and she didn't take his mental health problems seriously. She didn't understand where his addiction came from, so she broke up with him. The next I hear...” Lotti took a break and swallowed hard. “The next…” She swallowed hard again, but the tears had gathered in her eyes and would spill over even if she did everything in her power not to cry. I took her hand in mine, and she let herself cry silently.

“He had overdosed. Heroine. My boy… My little boy…” she cried. My heart beated hard in my chest, and my throat burned like I had swallowed a match. It was awful that she believed he was dead.

“When was this?” I asked carefully.

“Soon three years ago.”

I nodded slowly. It must have been around the same time she had been through her accident, so it was easy to fool her, but that was also what made it even worse. She had also lost her husband around the same time. Why did they do this to Lotti?

×××

The full moon looked at us while we made out. Big and round, it stared at us just like in my dreams, but this time we weren't alone. We sat outside on a cold autumn night after having danced at The Pulse. Four of his friends sat and looked at us while we made out on a teeter-totter on the playground. We had run around there like two kids while his friends passed around a joint.

I had his bomber jacket on top of my own coat while he just wore an oversized t-shirt with a big picture of Courtney Love in a thin neglige. Even if he had so few clothes on, I put my cold hands on his stomach to touch his skin and muscles.

“He's just skinny!” Shouted Jackie towards us, and both me and Eric looked at him amused. Eric dragged me closer to him so he could stuff his nose in my hair and breathe in, and I dragged my hands to his naked back.

“Should we go home?” He whispered, and I nodded. I wanted him to myself now.

“Do you know she stalked you?” Shouted Jackie just as loudly as he had done before. Eric looked at him with a smirk, like it was a bad joke. I, on the other hand, gave Jackie a worried look and swallowed hard.

“Yeah, she had seen you around and begged me for your address. It wasn't a coincidence you met her outside the store.”

Eric looked at me with a confused smirk. He didn't seem to believe Jackie, and neither would I, if it hadn’t been about me.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. We're going home now,” said Eric, who helped me off the teeter before he stood up himself. While doing that, his sleeve rode up, and I could see the aggressively purple bruise on his upper arm. I saw that Nick looked at it too, but I looked away when he looked at me.

“It's nice seeing you together. Seeing you with a girl. It suits you,” said Nick in a brotherly way, but there was a hint of worry there too. Eric lit up and pulled me close to him. He looked at me with big eyes.

“Yeah. It feels like a dream sometimes.” He didn't let me go with his eyes while his friends started to ‘oh and ah’ and whistle as a joke. Eric smirked at them but then lifted me up easily so I had my legs around his waist.

“Let's go home.”

×××

It was all so good between us, except when his anxiety crept on him in the night, like something heavy lay on his chest, and he couldn't get it away. I could see him touch his neck, like that was the solution. I dragged his hand away and let him lay against my chest and breathe deeply.

“Tell me. What do you think about?”

Eric laid quiet, like he expected the question to disappear if he just ignored it.

“Talk to me, please.”

“I don't know,” he said lowly. “Just shit. Old memories.”

“What kind of memories?” I wanted him to tell me about his childhood with his own words, but he was quiet again.

“It can help to talk about it.”

“I don't know what to say,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “It's just bullshit things.”

He was just the same as he was when he was four years old. I wondered if he had told anyone what had actually happened to him as a child. I dragged my fingers through his hair until he suddenly talked with a whisper, like he didn't dare to say it out loud.

“It was my own fault... I should have said something, but... I guess I was ashamed."

“You don't need to be ashamed; it wasn't your fault.”

My comment could reveal I knew more than I should, but he didn't say anything about it; he just sighed deeply and laid a hand over his face.

“Eric? You were a child; it's okay to talk about it. You don't have any responsibility for this.”

He nodded a little but didn't remove his hand, so I moved him away from my chest and laid down so our faces were at the same height.

I waited for him to say something, and at last he did.

“I had the best parents... My foster parents. I love…” he swallowed hard and looked down at the sheets. “They were the best, but my biological mother... Eh fuck,” he sat up in bed and laid his hands over his face. I didn't move, hoping he would lay down when he was ready.

“She was just fucked up.” He shrugged his shoulders like that was all.

“Fucked up, how?” I asked and dragged my hand over his naked back. Eric put his hands on his head and dragged them back to his neck in an uncomfortable manner.

“Eh fuck Della, I don't want to talk about this.”

I nodded a little and pulled lightly on his forearm.

“Okay, of course. Come now, baby, let's sleep…”

He laid down on my chest again, and I hugged his head in my arms. I was disappointed he didn't want to tell me, and at the same time, I worried so much about him. It wasn't healthy to carry around such things in his chest without processing them. I also felt the bad conscience grow in my tummy. I knew so much about him but pretended to know nothing so he would tell me more.

Eric fell asleep after having listened to my heart for a couple minutes; he didn't seem to notice it beating harder with anxiety. I was his girlfriend, but the only thing I did was lie. I wanted to be honest; I wanted our relationship to be true, but for that to happen, I needed to tell him I had stalked him, I had fooled his mom and brother, and I had lied to him. He would never forgive me for that.

I pressed my cheek against the top of his head and breathed in his minty shampoo. I tried to calm myself with deep breaths, but my tears slipped down in his black hair and disappeared. I wished it could be as easy for my lies to disappear.

×××

I could see that all of my girlfriends looked at Eric with big eyes, even my sister, Desiree.

We were out dancing at a club, celebrating Halloween, and getting tipsy on tequila shots. Eric was one of the few guys in the club that had some sort of Halloween costume. He had let me do his makeup, and we matched each other, with black tears streaming down our cheeks, and he also had my black lipstick on. He did what he wanted and didn't even think about how people would react.

“I think you need a glass of water!” He said to me over the music and laughed at my disoriented look. “I’ll get one for you!”

Eric stood up and walked away to the bar. He towered over most people, and it made it easy for me to see where he went. I looked at my friends who also looked after him. He wore a dark gray tank top in a loose model that showed off his arms and muscular chest. He paired it with bleached jeans that sat baggy on his long legs.

“He's hot as fuck!” Nessa said to me loudly over the music even if her boyfriend sat next to her. I giggled and laid my head against the couch. I was a bit too drunk, but I had the luxury to know I had a boyfriend who would be able to carry me home.

“He is, but... He looks like a player! Are you sure he is a good guy?” asked Desiree and looked at me seriously.

“He's not a player! I promise. Don't you notice how shy he is?”

Eric had said hello to everyone but kept mostly quiet while we talked. He just nodded a little with a smile when he agreed with something.

“Are you sure he's shy? It can just be a way to win you over,” said Nessa's boyfriend and took a sip of his beer. I gave him an irritated, pointed look.

“You think he has played shy for three months? He's shy! Even if he looks like a bad boy!” I said with a drunken giggle. Desiree shook her head amused and also giggled. We fell quiet when Eric came back, carrying a glass of water for me and a beer for himself. In my toxication, I crawled into his lap with a giggle and kissed his face several times. I was so proud to have such a hot, sweet boyfriend. I could see jealous eyes on us. Eric smirked at me but then pressed his lips against mine.

“What's your training routine?” Paulina's boyfriend asked suddenly. I had seen him looking at Eric a lot, but I hadn't put so much thought into what it meant, but now I knew. I looked at Eric, who played with my short leather skirt with an uncomfortable expression. He was probably not so comfortable answering that because he trained a bit too much. It was sometimes many hours a day.

“No, you don't really know, right? You just work out when you want to,” I said so he wouldn't need to answer the question. He looked at me with big eyes, then smiled.

“Yeah, it's not scheduled, so I don't know,” said he with a shoulder shrug.

×××

We became even more intoxicated, except Eric, who drank as much as the other guys but was completely unfazed. We were outside of the club, ready to go to the next destination, but we needed to wait on Nessa, who puked in an alley with Desiree as help. Paulina and Amanda looked between me and Eric, leaning against the building further away, closer to the alley.

“He's super hot... Isn't that hard? I don't mean this in a bad way, but... He's a really hot guy, while you're more... Cute?” said Amanda.

I scoffed and looked at Eric, who had pulled up his tank top to show his abs for the men around him. It was silly behavior and probably nothing they would have done if they weren't drunk.

“You mean I'm not hot enough for him?”

“I don't mean it like that! Just that you maybe don't match?”

I shook my head in disbelief but also wondered how she would continue the conversation, but instead both of my friends just looked at him when he laughed showing off his abs. I was so proud of him. So, so proud of that amazing human, but now I felt worried and jealous. Because of Demi's reaction to him, I had started to believe I was the only one seeing his beauty, but I was so wrong; even the guys stood and gawked at his body. I had been naive, and now I got worried some other girl was around the corner, prepared to steal my man.

I left Paulina and Amanda without saying anything and walked up to my tall boyfriend. He was the tallest in the group. He was the fittest in the group. The hottest of them too. I wasn't the hottest of my friends; I wasn't even the tallest.

“I'm tired,” I whined and pushed my face against his chest, acting like I was more drunk than I was. Eric looked down at me with a silly smile and put my hair behind my ear with soft fingers.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked and lifted my chin so he could look me in the eyes. I pouted and nodded like a sour five-year-old. He played with my pouting underlip with his thumb in a teasing way and made the same face himself.

“Then we go home, yeah?”

I nodded but lifted my arms, and he lifted me up like it was obvious what I wanted. I could see my girlfriends look at me with some sort of envy. Maybe they just wanted their boyfriends to be more like Eric, or they wanted him. I didn't care, the only thing I knew was that I would never let him go. He was mine.

×××

How we ended up on the floor I couldn't remember. I could only remember what I saw right then and there. Eric had my naked leg in a tight grip, slung over his shoulder, while snapping his hips fast. His girthy cock pushed into me fast and hard and I could hear myself moaning in a pathetic way; sometimes I even mixed in his name, something I've never done with any guy before. When I looked up at him, I could see his dark gaze and open mouth. I could see a sweaty chest and abs and a v-line carved with the sharpest knife. He kissed my calf while slapping his hips against mine. He let me often lay down because I couldn't match his strength and stamina, but he didn't complain; it felt more like he fucked me even harder because he wanted to tease me.

“Can I come inside of you?” He said it between his pants, and I just nodded. He had learned he didn't need to do much to get me to come when he had transformed me into a pile of just lifeless body parts, he just pressed down with two fingers over my clit, like it was a button, and rubbed it a few times, then I came together with him.

×××

I really needed to start to work out again. Even if I hadn't really done any heavy lifting, I had pain in my thighs the next morning. I was happy my parents had been nice and had taken Odin for a night; in exchange, they could meet my boyfriend. I looked at my boyfriend snoring loudly with an open mouth. He always snored loudly when he had been drinking alcohol. Sometimes he even woke me up. I was nervous about bringing him to my parents. I knew he would be the best boy but I didn't know if my parents would be as well behaved. I don’t even think they had seen someone with as many tattoos as Eric. They would probably be uncomfortable but I hoped they at least would be nice.

I laid my nose against his neck even if he was snoring and slung a leg over his hip. I just wanted to be close, and I hoped the sight of my pussy so close to his cock would make him perk up when he was awake. I smirked to myself, lost in filthy thoughts, so I didn't even hear the entrance door open.

If I knew, I would have jumped up and closed the door to the bedroom. If I knew that Robin had taken his own key to surprise me early in the morning, I would have suggested Eric should take a run in my neighborhood. The last thing I would do was lay naked with his brother, who started to get hard in his sleep.

I thought I heard the sound of keys but waved it away as nothing. Instead, I dug down my nose even further down in Eric's neck and let my pussy push against his hardened cock. I knew it was okay I did that; he just likes being woken up with sex.

“What the fuck?” I heard Robin say behind me in such a confused voice that I didn't even recognize his voice. I turned to the door and met his blue eyes that looked at us upset. First I couldn't move, even if he could see so much of our naked bodies, and when I started to realize what was actually happening, I moved away from Eric and covered us both up with covers.

“Oh my god, oh my god... Robin, it wasn't meant…” I whined and put my hands over my face in shame.

“You're fucking with him??” Said Robin, upset and waved with his arms, so he accidentally waved down a vase standing on my vanity table. It was crushed into hundreds of small pieces, but it also crushed Eric's sleep, and he looked up, confused. He sat up, exposing his whole naked torso, and it made Robin look away, like he thought the view was disgusting. Eric looked at Robin in silence than at me in confusion.

“What, what, what is this?” He stuttered. His big green eyes were full of worry but also hurt. He already knew I had done something stupid that would break his trust in just as many pieces as the vase.

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #fan fiction #writing #story #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #fiction #the crow #eric

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megalony · 5 months ago

Text

You Keep Me Safe

Okay, this is my first imagine for S.W.A.T and it's for Luca, I just had to get this idea out my head. I hope you'll all enjoy it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana

@shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @itshamleth @loveyouamory

Swat Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: While out with the kids, someone tries to take (Y/n) and Luca's daughter. When they go to Swat and Luca finds out what happened, he isn't pleased.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A smile graced (Y/n)'s lips as she looked around the park, keeping an eye out to see where the kids had scarpered off to.

She could see Lottie sat on the swings on the other side of the play park while Jake was sharpening his skills on the climbing wall, trying to see how fast he could make it up to the top. He was definitely taking after his dad.

(Y/n) kept her eyes on the pair of them while she headed to the baby swing and gently eased her one year old down into the seat. He immediately patted his hands down against the plastic bar in front of him and started to kick his legs. Babbling happily as the pacifier dropped and hung round his tummy since it was clipped to his top.

"Here we go, baby." She began slowly pushing him back and forth, kissing his head every time he swayed back towards her.

It had been a while since she had brought the kids to the park, just the four of them. Whenever they went out with Annie and Deacon's kids, they ended up walking along the beach or heading around town. And when Luca had a day off, they usually ended up on the park closer to home where there was a track for running and training.

After a while, (Y/n) lifted Billy from the swing and set him down to his feet, staying close as he plodded in front of her. He wasn't the best at walking yet, he kicked his legs out straight rather than bending his knees, but he was surprisingly fast.

She followed him over to the smaller, plastic climbing frame that was more for toddlers and more his height.

"Wanna go down the slide?" Jake jogged over to them and held his hand out for his younger brother, grinning widely when Billy took his hand.

He lifted Billy up the steps and guided him over to the slide, sitting the toddler between his legs so they could go down the slide together. The sight made (Y/n) smile and she snapped a quick photo, noticing just how much both boys seemed to resemble Luca in lots of little ways. From how their eyes creased when they smiled to the way their noses crinkled when they laughed.

"Didn't dad get stuck on the slide once at the play centre?" Jake tilted his head to the side, looking over at (Y/n) quizzically while she made sure Lottie was okay on the zipline in the corner.

She looked back at her boys and grinned, thinking hard about what her nine year old was referring to.

"Oh, yeah, aunt Chris had to help him get out of there." A smile lit up (Y/n)'s face at the memory that thought provoked.

She could remember Luca panicking in the play centre. Everyone told him he was too tall and broad to go down the slides, but he wanted to go with the kids because Jake wouldn't go anywhere without at least one of his parents. And (Y/n) had been pregnant at the time. Luca went down the slide and ended up stuck halfway down. Chris had been the only one in the group slim enough to help him out.

(Y/n) had honestly thought she might have to call Hondo or get the emergency services to break the slide and free her husband. What a sight and event that would have caused.

(Y/n) folded her arms over her chest and watched the boys go down the slide another two times before Jake started playing hide and seek with Billy. The toddler started to squeal, slamming his feet down as he trotted around the bottom of the slide.

Leaning back, (Y/n) looked across at the zipline but her smile morphed into a frown when she couldn't see Lottie there anymore.

Where had she got to now?

She held her hand out towards Billy and leaned down to take his hand, guiding him with her while she nodded for Jake to follow them.

Her eyes cast around the park, looking between the other parents and the few kids scattered around running from swing to swing with glee. What was Lottie up to? Where had she disappeared to? (Y/n) liked to keep them all within her sights in case they wandered and tried to talk to strangers or ended up falling off of something and hurting themselves.

Jake was an accident prone and Lottie was a drifter living in a daydream. It wasn't the best combination without parental supervision.

"Where's Lottie?" (Y/n) gave a tug on Billy's hand and smiled as he looked around as if he could spot his sister any quicker.

A shiver crawled down (Y/n)'s spine at the shrill scream that tore through the air and her gut knew that was her daughter.

She spun on her heels and looked around, unsure where the noise was coming from and she could barely control her breathing enough to scour through the play park to find her daughter. Her eyes finally locked on a familiar crop of hair and the red and purple polka dot dress she had gotten Lottie into this morning. As quick as anything, (Y/n) leaned down and scooped Billy up from the floor and headed off in a sprint, Jake right at her side, neither of them sure what was happening.

The panic (Y/n) felt seemed to flicker off in all directions, sparking different thoughts and questions.

She could see Lottie, she was laid on her side in front of the metal fence that surrounded the perimeter of the park. She was inches away from the gate which was hanging open, the hinges creaking awfully and grating through (Y/n)'s ears when she got closer.

"Baby what happened?" (Y/n) turned and stood Billy in front of Jake who reached down and held him by the shoulders so the toddler wouldn't try and wander off. The boys stood a few feet to the left, still close enough for Jake to reach out and hold his mum's shoulder if he felt the need.

He watched his mum go down on her knees in front of his sister, waiting for an explanation as other parents started to look in their direction.

(Y/n) could feel her heart hammering away in her chest and all the blood seemed to fizzle out of her hands and feet and flood her chest and stomach instead. Adrenaline fueled through her abdomen and made butterflies crawl up her chest when Lottie howled.

The five year old pushed up from where she was lying on the floor and immediately crawled onto her mother's lap. She bound her arms around (Y/n)'s waist and burrowed her face into her stomach, sobbing so loudly and sharply that (Y/n) felt as if she was the one screaming instead of her daughter.

"Baby what's the matter, did you fall?"

Leaning down, she pressed her lips against the top of Lottie's head and curled her arms around her. But she didn't like the way her daughter was trembling against her.

"T-the man…"

"What? What man?"

When she didn't get a response, (Y/n) leaned over and gripped Lottie beneath her arms. She hoisted her up and moved her so she was sat on her knees instead with one hand on Lottie's waist and the other rubbing up and down her back.

The little girl was taking shallow, bubbling breaths, mixing between crying and screaming which was starting to put (Y/n) on edge.

"Sweetie talk to me, what man?"

"D-don't know… t-the man asked me t-to go with him." Lottie feebly pointed behind her towards the gate that was beginning to slow to a stop, vaguely creaking on the old rusted hinges.

(Y/n)'s head snapped up and she looked around, but she couldn't see any man close by. The only people outside of the playground was an older couple walking their dog and a young mother with two children headed down the path towards the park. Whoever the man was, he had clearly left in a hurry which made (Y/n) suddenly feel worse.

He must have been running at some speed to disappear across the grass or down the path and out of sight. Why had be asked Lottie to leave with him? What did he want with (Y/n)'s daughter? What had he tried to do to her?

"I said no, a-and he pulled my hair." Lottie lifted her head and moved a shaking hand to the right side of her head.

Terror ransacked (Y/n)'s body when she realised there was a small scratch of blood on the side of Lottie's head.

Her hands reached out and cupped her daughter's face, tilting her head down so she could look at her properly but it felt like ice cold spikes were cutting through (Y/n)'s chest. There were at least three scratches along Lottie's temple that went up into her hairline. The two plats (Y/n) had braided into her hair were now coming loose and looked obscure like Lottie had been dragged through a bush.

Whoever it was had tried to grab her by her hair to make her leave. He had scratched her head and pulled on her hair so harshly a clump of hair had come loose.

Someone had tried to kidnap her daughter.

"What happened to your hand?" (Y/n) asked quietly when she noticed Lottie's left hand was starting to swell. When she reached out to try and touch it, Lottie pulled back with a howl and cradled her hand to her chest.

"Trapped it i-in the gate, when he grabbed my hair… mummy I s-said no."

Tears rolled down (Y/n)'s face before she could stop them. She pressed her lips together so tightly her upper lip started to cut against her teeth and she swiped her hand across her face, wiping away the tears.

If Lottie hadn't tried to say no or if she didn't reach out for the gate or make a fuss, she would have been gone by now. (Y/n) would have been on a frantic search for her daughter. She would be scouring the park with her boys, desperately trying to find Lottie and if the man had a car, the possibilities of what could have happened were endless.

The man had fled. (Y/n) wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. He had gone, he wasn't going to terrorise her children any longer. But now they had no chance of finding him. He could try again. He could try and take another child. He could see Lottie in the street or in a different park and try his luck. He might get her if he tried again.

Each breath (Y/n) tried to take hitched higher and higher until she was barely breathing at all and her sight was fading into tunnel vision.

Her arms bound around Lottie and she attached her daughter to her chest, holding her with one arm while her other arm looped around Jake. She stood to her feet, tugging Jake with her who kept his hands on Billy's shoulders, guiding the oblivious toddler along with them.

"Mum?"

"We're leaving." Cold tremors rattled through (Y/n) as she watched Jake closely as he picked Billy up so they could move faster.

"Are we going to see dad?" Jake whispered, unsure whether he was okay to talk or whether his mum was on a mission and was going to go mute in her state of panic.

"Yes. Stay close, stay right next to me." (Y/n) was grateful that Jake clipped Billy into the chair so she didn't have to set Lottie down.

She didn't know what to do.

This had never happened before. None of the kids had ever been hurt or almost kidnapped like this. It was a lucky escape that the stranger hadn't run off with Lottie and that she hadn't gotten hurt more than this. (Y/n) had all three of her children safe and relatively unharmed, but she couldn't stay here. They had to leave. They had to talk to the police.

They had to talk to Luca.

Was this why (Y/n) always felt safer going out with Luca?

It was no secret that no one gave them a second look when Luca was with them. He was like an omen. Almost six foot tall with a broad muscular frame and he was always near his family, looming like a shadow that no one wanted to mess with.

Would that man have tried to take Lottie if Luca had been down here with them? Of course he wouldn't. Luca was a threat, he was built and muscular and could give anyone a run for their money in a chase. He was a member of Swat, Luca could outrun most people and give a good chase and he knew how to tackle someone down and restrain them. If he was here he might have been able to find whoever had done this.

(Y/n) felt Jake lean his head on her arm and move closer to her side, suddenly mute and afraid, feeling as small as a mouse. His boysterous, outgoing personality died down immediately and he tried not to shake as the two of them were almost running towards the car.

Someone had tried to snatch his sister. What would his mum have done if they succeeded? Would the police have come down and done a search and rescue for her? Would his dad and his team have come down to the park to search for Lottie? Would they have found her? What would happen in their family if they didn't get Lottie back?

***

"Hey, look who's rolled into town." A smile lit up Chris's face and she held her hands out at her sides when she spotted familiar faces wandering through the gym.

She sped up her steps towards Jake who was walking in front, pushing the pram with Billy who looked like he was either waking up for a nap or about to go take one.

'Look at my nephews,' was on the tip of her tongue and about to roll off, until she noticed the look on the nine year old's face. He looked panic-stricken. His eyes were sunken and rapidly darting around the squad base as if he didn't feel safe or didn't know what to expect. Not like he had been coming here since he was a baby.

And when Chris looked towards (Y/n), she could tell something was off with her too. (Y/n) had tears stained down her face and her eyes kept adverting down to the floor like she was too nervous to look Chris in the eye. Her right arm was wrapped around Lottie who was visibly shaking, tucking herself into her mother's leg like she wanted to disappear. And Chris realised the five year old was quietly whimpering and was shedding hundreds of tears.

"What's wrong?" Chris leaned down and let Jake barrell into her and bind himself against her front like he was seeking her protection.

Chris considered herself close to everyone on the squad, but she was especially close to Luca. He was like a brother to her and they were close enough that Chris was godmother to all three of his children.

"Is Luca around? I know you're busy, but I- I need to speak to him."

"Yeah, yeah he's in the back." She pointed behind her before she looked between Jake and the push chair. "Wanna show me your skills in the ring, little man?" She looked down at Jake and pointed to the boxing ring up ahead, Jake usually liked to spar with anyone on the team who would let him when he came to visit.

He gingerly nodded, still clinging tight to her even as she tried to guide him over to the ring and moved the push chair so Billy could watch them or doze off to sleep, whatever the toddler preferred.

"Hey, my troop's here!" A grin spread across Luca's face and he clapped, jumping with his next step as he jogged ahead of Deacon when his eyes set on the boxing ring and saw Jake. If his eldest was here that meant all three kids would be here. That meant (Y/n) would be here.

(Y/n) locked her eyes on her husband but she gasped and jolted forward when Lottie let go of her hand and bolted. The five year old got a burst of energy from somewhere and surged forward, making a beeline for Luca.

He bent down and stretched his arms out, not getting a clear view of his daughter before she barrelled into him like a bowling ball trying to knock him down. Her arms bound around his neck and she slammed into his chest, deadlocking her legs around his waist, clinging to him like a monkey. And Luca obliged, curving his arms around her as he stood back up.

"Hey girlie… what's wrong, why the tears?" His lips attached to her cheek, but his broad smile began to fade when he realised Lottie was crying. Her face was hot and sticky with tears and she started to gasp and mewl into his neck, unable to catch a proper breath because of the tears streaming down her face.

When Luca tried to lean back and get a proper look at her, she hid her face in his neck which made him frown. He could feel his heart fluttering against his ribs, thudding out a fast paced beat as he wondered what was going on.

Whenever the kids came to the squad they were all excited and bubbly and loud. They would find Luca and hug him, then they would filter around to see the team and try out the gym equipment or wait for Luca to show them something cool.

But right now, Jake was barely interacting with Chris in the ring and Lottie was crying and clinging to Luca. She usually squealed and talked his ear off and dragged him round, running on an endless bout of energy. She didn't hide away in his neck or cling to him like this unless she was ill or frightened.

His hand cradled the side of her neck and he gently swiped his thumb across her cheek, trying to look at her before he gave up and looked ahead at (Y/n).

He didn't like the tears staining her face, the panic he could see in her eyes or the way (Y/n) had both arms bound around her waist like she was trying to hug and comfort herself.

Luca took a quick look behind him to make sure Chris was alright with Jake and he peeked over at Billy, satisfied the toddler was dozing off and not upset or panicked like the rest of their family. Luca headed over towards (Y/n) and the moment his arm was stretched out towards her, she moved.

She tucked herself into Luca's side, binding her arms tight around his waist while her face meshed into his chest. She didn't care about the scratchy Swat shirt he was wearing or the way it brushed against her cheek and nose. She couldn't find the will to care that the rest of the team were looking over and people passing by were starting to stare at them.

All (Y/n) cared about was having Luca in front of her and wrapped around her. The feel of his hand squeezing her hip, the touch of his lips against the top of her head and his steady breaths in her hair that he was trying so hard to control.

"Baby, what's happened?" Luca's voice was quiet, the words whispered into her hair.

He had his daughter crying into his neck and his wife glued to his chest, both shaking, both clearly rattled and upset and Luca had no idea what the problem was. He didn't like not knowing things and being out of the loop, he had to know what was going on so he could fix things.

He danced his eyes around the squad, noticing a few eyes glancing their way and he could see Deacon frown and dip his head down, silently asking if everything was okay. The blank look on Luca's face told him he had no idea what was happening.

His fingers squeezed (Y/n)'s hip and he held her that little bit tighter, kissing her temple to try and coax her to talk to him.

"A man tried to take Lottie." (Y/n)'s voice shuddered and came out breathless as a shiver tore down her spine and seeped into Luca's body.

His muscles went rigid and he tensed up in front of her, gripping her waist tighter as something dark crossed his eyes. His head tilted to one side and his eyes narrowed while his lips quirked as if he wanted to smile in utter confusion. Who would do that? Why would they do that? What exactly did that mean?

He leaned back, gripping (Y/n)'s hip and using it as leverage to nudge her back just enough so they could lock eyes. She could see the confusion and the panic pooling in those blue eyes and it made her heart drop down to her stomach.

"Take her? What does that mean, take her? Like walk off with her or what?"

"She said no but… babe, look at her head, he grabbed her by her hair. He almost ripped her hair out to drag her with him."

As swift as anything, Luca's arm retracted from (Y/n)'s waist so his attention could turn to their daughter.

His hand cupped the side of Lottie's face, his thumb brushing across her cheek as he fought to lift her head from the crook of his neck so he could check her over. Sorrow danced through his eyes while anger plastered across his face when his daughter's watering eyes finally looked up at him and a broken mewl left her lips that had Luca's heart shattering into a million pieces.

His eyes flitted across her face and over her head, noting the scratches on her scalp, the blood spots on her temple where her hair had been forcefully ripped from her scalp. He saw how her plaits were ruffled and pulled apart and how some of her hair was in knots and tangled up from her ordeal.

When Lottie carefully unravelled her arm from around her dad's neck, she held her trembling hand out to him. Letting him look at her swollen joint that flared with a biting pain whenever she tried to touch it.

"Did he do that?" Something dark laced in Luca's tone and (Y/n) was quick to shake her head.

She had seen Luca when he got defensive and protective over his family and those close to him. But that was nothing compared to this. She had never seen him so riled up and furious like this.

"She trapped it in the gate, trying to get away." (Y/n) rung her hands out in front of her, letting her nerves fizzle down to her hands to try and calm herself down. "I- I know I should have called the police, but he scarpered, I didn't even see him, Luca. He vanished. I didn't know what to do-"

"No, it's okay, you came here." When Lottie dropped her head back onto his shoulder, Luca reached his hand out and cupped the back of (Y/n)'s neck, reeling her back into his chest.

His lips smothered her temple and he closed his eyes, trying to take a second to calm down before he exploded.

Someone had tried to take his daughter. Someone had hurt his child and frightened his family. He wasn't letting them get away with this, he was going to find who did this.

"Alright team, gather up, we got a case."

Hondo's voice broke through the air and (Y/n) couldn't help but clutch tighter at Luca's back, pushing herself into his chest like she was trying to merge them into one person. She knew what that meant. She knew coming down here meant taking Luca away from the team and he was busy, his job was high profile and demanding. (Y/n) didn't want to detain him or distract him from work, she just had to talk to him so she didn't go out her mind and seeing him put the kid's minds at ease, especially Lottie.

"I- we should go, you're busy-"

"No, no… Cortez." Luca lifted his head and nodded at the Captain when she was about to walk past.

He knew the anger was overriding the panic written across his face and he knew the Captain could sense it when she walked over. She was familiar with Luca's family, she got on well with (Y/n) and she always said family were always welcome to drop by the squad. And right now, Luca's family needed to be here, they needed help.

"Everything okay Luca?"

"Cap, someone tried to take Lottie. Can you get an officer down here to do a sketch and take a statement? He got away and I want him arrested, now." This squad was part of the police. He knew Cortez could get hold of a uniform officer and have someone come down here to talk to (Y/n) and the kids.

They would feel safer staying here around people they knew and trusted. Someone could talk to Lottie and Jake and try to get a sketch out there, they could have uniformed police searching round the park to find whoever this man was who thought he could terrorise Luca's family. If not Luca would be out there in five minutes scouting round for the man who did this.

He watched the way Cortez took a deep breath, her hands moving to her hips as she bit down on her lip but she nodded quickly, reassuringly. This was a family unit and they took care of each other.

"Of course, you can all come to my office, I'll make some calls." She took a few steps back to let them talk, noting Chris who was stood with the pushchair next to her and her arms around Jake. Keeping the eldest tucked into her chest to keep him calm while his parents talked.

Luca tried to smile, but he knew what this meant. He had to finish his shift, they had a call to go on and he was still at work. But with any luck, they would all still be here when he came back and if not, he would be able to head straight home after this mission. They would all be safe here.

"You go give a statement, I'll come get you as soon as we're done I promise." His thumb brushed across (Y/n)'s jaw and she leaned into the touch, trying to stop herself from crying any more.

She nodded and held her breath when Luca stole a kiss from her lips. She gave his shoulders a squeeze and gave him another lasting kiss before she looked over at Lottie, tucked into his chest.

"Baby," He murmured softly, dragging the pad of his finger down Lottie's cheek to gain her attention. "You go with mum up to the big office, yeah? And when I'm finished at work, I'll come right back to you baby, okay?"

Lottie lifted her head but kept both arms deadlocked around Luca's neck, her lower lip wobbling as she looked at him.

She wanted to stay with him.

Lottie wanted to stay with her dad, he would keep her safe. He always kept them safe, that was his job. He was forever telling them that his job was to take care of people and protect the city. Now he could protect Lottie. She didn't want to go anywhere if Luca wasn't going with them, she wanted to stay right here where he could keep her safe.

"No, you come too. Please, daddy?"

Tears welled up in Luca's eyes but he tried to push them aside. It took a lot for him to cry, especially when he was on shift. He didn't want the rest of the team to see how badly his heart was breaking. "I won't be long. You go with mum and be a brave girl for me-"

"You keep me safe!" She all but whined, letting out another sharp cry when Luca leaned close and pressed his lips to her temple.

That was what he was trying to do. He was trying to keep her safe, it was all he wanted to do. He wanted to protect and look after his family and having them here talking to the police was the best way to do that.

"Baby, you're safe here, that's a promise. Stay here with mum and when I'm finished, I'll take you all home. I love you."

Luca took three shallow breaths against Lottie's temple and pressed a dozen kisses to her cheek before he leaned forward to let (Y/n) take her. If this was left to him he would crack and end up staying with them, but the team was waiting for him. And he wouldn't be much help talking to the police, he hadn't been there when it happened. His temper was already about to overflow and being around the police was going to make him explode and want to go out there looking for the one responsible for all of this.

(Y/n) gave his shoulder a squeeze but when she tried to hold Lottie, the five year old deadlocked her hands around Luca's neck and belted out a scream.

It was a noise that caught everyone's attention.

All eyes tuned in on them, everyone walking past came to a stop and all the voices ceased into silence so they could observe what was happening.

Luca tilted his head back, unable to hold off the tears any longer. He reached behind his neck for Lottie's hands and carefully unhooked her arms from his neck. He took a few steps back, kissed her palms and let go so she couldn't latch onto him any more.

He had to go. She could cling to him as soon as he was finished. As soon as he got his family home, all the kids could latch onto him and he wouldn't let them go. Lottie could sleep in their bed and Luca wouldn't sleep, he would stay awake looking out for her and protecting her to make sure she stayed safe.

"Daddy no! Daddy!"

A horrible banshee screech errupted past Lottie's lips and she screamed until she could barely breathe and stars danced in front of her eyes. She flopped over (Y/n)'s arm, kicking her legs, stretching her arms out and flapping them in Luca's direction, but he shook his head. He had to let her go talk to the police and calm down, he had to get this shift sorted so he could take them all home.

"Go." Luca pointed (Y/n) in Cortez's direction and turned sharply to face Chris and the boys.

His hand dragged along his face, wiping away the tears and dragging down his jaw before he bent down in front of Jake. The nine year old suddenly looked like a toddler, stood there frightened and panicked in Chris's arms.

"Go with your mum, tell the police anything you remember, and then I'll come and get you all. Are you okay?" His hands found Jake's arms and he rubbed up and down and kissed his temple.

"Scared, dad."

"That's okay. You're safe here, we'll all protect you. Go with Captain Cortez, and I'll see you soon." He murmured a soft 'I love you' against Jake's temple, reeling him in for a hug.

He kissed Billy's temple, thankful his youngest was just about asleep, despite Lottie who was still screaming for Luca.

His eyes followed his family, expression turning to stone as Cortez led them down the corridor to take them to her office. (Y/n) was struggling to keep hold of Lottie who was wriggling and fighting and crying out for Luca. Jake was shakily walking beside her, pushing the pram to keep Billy safe and within their sights. And Cortez had her hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders, trying to both comfort and guide her away from all the prying eyes.

A cringe tore through Luca's body and his shoulders hunched when he heard Lottie's feeble screams continue to wrack through the gym like her voice was purposely following and reaching out for him.

"Luca?" Chris tried to reach out for him but she took a step back when he twisted round.

She stepped away, hands retracting to her sides when Luca slammed his foot into the bench and gave such a powerful kick that the metal bench flipped and crashed into the boxing ring.

His hands ran up and down his face, wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop. He could feel his eyes stinging and turning red and a dark rouge tainted his face and slithered up his neck that was tense and throbbing. Every breath made his chest ache and tense but he didn't feel like he was breathing at all.

"He tried to take her." Venom spat through his words and his head snapped in Chris's direction but his eyes set on the figure looming behind her.

Hondo. Watching from the sidelines, unsure whether to approach and try to calm Luca down or just let him ride it out.

His hands balled into fists as he stormed towards the computer room where the rest of the teams were gathered, ready for their briefing that should have started five minutes ago. He felt Chris reach out for his shoulder but he shook her off and his steps halted when Hondo reached an arm out in front of his path, cutting him off.

"Luca, take a minute, calm down."

Calm down. How could he calm down? How could he control his thoughts, his feelings and his raging emotions when his daughter was screaming for him and his wife and sons were scarred and terrified? How could he compose himself when all he wanted to do was find the person who had done this to them?

"Some fucker just tried to kidnap my daughter. Once I've got the bastard in custody, then I'll calm down."

He pushed past Hondo and stormed into the room like a hurricane not to be trifled with. The sooner this was over, the sooner his family had talked to the police, then the sooner he could take them home and look after them.

But Luca wasn't going to calm down. He wasn't going to be satisfied or calm or at ease until this sick idiot was locked up in custody.

#imagine #swat #swat cbs #swat luca #dominique luca #luca x reader #dominique luca imagine #swat luca imagine #hondo harrelson #david deacon kay

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lottluvs · 20 days ago

Text

Take Chances. (🪵 )

pairing : lottie matthews x fem reader … c / w : descriptions of nausea , descriptions of violence , self - violence , derealization, fluff . ( short-ish little drabble as a writing exercise ! fast pacing , descriptive . )

summary : nothing could’ve prepared you for this , a plane crash with your soccer team , and being in the forest with them was nothing you could’ve readied for . the wilderness drove you to deteriorate mentally faster , however it seemed advice from the past drew you closer to someone you’ve learned for for oh so long .

lottluvs , feel free to translate with credit . . open to criticism 🌱

a/n : i am so sorry, i wrote this at like 12-2am, and didnt proofread it at all, sorry for the weird pacing, but yay first one shot :3 ( update : posted on ao3 as well ! ) my requests are open !!

The cicadas humming echoed more words than you spoke in weeks, their tune seemed to drown out your thoughts, waking up later than everyone else, silently, and with no purpose. Even the thought of getting up to survive was starting to get tiring, you were a teenager, this wasn’t something you wanted to ever have to deal with, none of these girls should’ve had to.

As you rose from your makeshift pallet on the floor, the blankets draped on you somewhat too perfectly, you noticed that the cabin was clean of the warm bodies that littered it in the night, and even the late risers were by now gone as well. Your mind was still settling into the new day, ears ringing with the fuzz of your pillow. You begin to recall everything, the plane ride, crashing, surviving.. no, it wasn’t surviving at this point. It was scraping together whatever mess you called rations. Even so, that was only for your physical health, if you were to say you were surviving mentally, not even the slightest wind would hear your lie. Unfortunately, recalling everything wanted to make you fall back asleep, and let the delusion your brain would find in the comfort of dreams take over once more, but the thought of repeating the day over and over again gave you to pure spite to not go back to sleep. You wished for just a little longer your brain would forget this mess, this horrible loud mess. “Just five more minutes.” You thought, hearing your mother’s voice ring in disagreement, the voice seemed far away, but it was certainly there.

Standing up, you breathed in dusty air, restless, dirty air. Nausea from starvation hit you like a brick, eating once every few days in little portions really made you appreciate what you had before this horrible accident. Folding your blankets into one nice pile took no more than two minutes, two minutes sharp that you counted. Time was precious, so why not keep the memory of something you may not be able to do ever again in due time? Walking to the door, with a hand rubbing your stomach similarly to how your mother would comfort you by rubbing your back, took even longer. “Do I have to? I mean do I really have to?” Those words bubbled in your mind as you placed a dirty hand on the handle to open the worn door.

Bright. It was excruciatingly bright. The smell of pine and the breeze filled your nose with a chill. Standing on the porch carrying baggy eyes and messy hair, looking around to see a few teammates working around, some minding their own business, some presenting their personality as if it was just another day living casually. Your eyes flickered before yawning and popping your fingers, walking out into the courtyard of what would soon be your last ringing bell, or that’s how you felt. The first one to stop you was Shauna, Shauna Shipman, one of the Yellowjackets midfielders.

“Where were you?” Her voice was tired, but the sound of genuine ask was there.

“I slept a little too late I guess, no one woke me up, I assumed someone would.” You responded with your dry lips once stuck together parting with exhaust.

“That’s okay, I was just worried I guess? Um, do you want to help me store and skin this faun? Like you were supposed to since you were next for this duty? Nat caught it this morning.” Shauna motioned to something behind her, idling her arms after, waiting for a response.

“I don’t see why not.” You spat out, hoping Shauna wouldn’t mistake your exhaustion for a negative tone, walking in the direction of the faun, of which was barely visible through the toned green leaves.

You heard Shauna follow behind, picking up her pace when you eventually got to the scene of the deceased creature. She started to talk about how to “take care of the animal,” but honestly you couldn’t help but tune her out, you listened to the trees sway, the birds call, and you swore you could hear the roots of the trees shiver under your sore feet. Eventually, tuning Shauna back in would leave you in the middle of her conversation about how to store the game. You nodded in approval, feeling bad that you weren’t listening, because for some reason, you felt like Shauna needed this. This mentoring, maybe it let her feel like she had a bigger role. You walked over to full view of the small deer, Shauna handed you something wrapped in cloth, and got to work on the start of the process.

Unwrapping the cloth would reveal a black handled knife, a shiny and what seemed to be recently cleaned blade. You locked positions, starting to stare at the weapon you wielded, looking at the skin of your fingers, moving to the palm that crowned the cloth and knife. You continued to stare as you began to get dizzy, your eyes felt like they were carrying weights, and the rough ground seemed to blur. Your own brain felt like it was betraying you.. “do it,” a voice rings out. “You cant go on right?” You felt your facial features drop, as not even your own hand was recognizable anymore, the skin that you bore wasn’t yours, right? It just didn’t seem right. What felt like a numb space of dull void that was your left hand picked up the blade firm, turning it blade down. Letting the cloth fall from your hand, you felt your lightheaded thinking churn, your eyes dilating, your stomach drop, as the nausea from waking up not even an hour ago began to stick to the front of your stomach, and your planted feet all combine into a feeling of external dread, as the blade kissed your skin, a hurtful form of abuse, the gorgeous deep red stained every line on your palm, making rivers of blood through your skin, dripping onto the ground below, it was a smooth and clean cut, at this point, you couldn’t even feel your hands, you didnt cut too deep into your palm before you felt something on your stomach, it wasn’t that feeling of your stomach deciding to throw up or not, it was warm.

As you began to lock back into reality due to a the rush of adrenaline, Shauna snapped around to stand directly in front of you grabbing the knife blade first, somewhat cutting into one of her fingers, not as bad as you sculpted your hand.

“What the f— oh my god. Hey— what is going on with you?!?” The voice of concern that was so familiar hit you like bricks even though it was a whisper, it began to pull you back to fond memories. “This is—.” Shauna threw the blade onto the table and held your palm upside down, taking the absent cloth from the ground and covering it, applying pressure. You heard her take a breath before she sighed, it wasn’t a sigh of annoyance, rather a sigh of unease. “Hey, please talk to me..”

For once that day, your brain formed a genuine thought that you were present for, what was going on with you? You looked at her soft features. The features that brought you comfort even before the crash. Your mouth opened, but the only thing that came out was the noise of silence and dead words, you’d left yourself dumbfounded. You felt bad Shauna had to waste any stamina she had left worrying for you. But at this point, you couldn’t even tell why you did that to yourself, was it self hatred? Hunger? Or was it the fact it was so hard to recognize you were a real person anymore. You’ve felt like prey this entire time. Never the one that’s one step above.

Shauna and you were good friends, in fact, she was the one to convince you to try out for the Yellowjackets in the first place. Turns out, you were a lot faster than you thought, placing you right with Jackie as a striker, a goalie-scorer, a game changer. During practice, you’d always be with Shauna, chatting up a storm and pissing off your already over stressed coach. Compared to current day, back then you were any normal teenager, bright, excited for the future, sociable, and one of the best features about you? You were approachable, and your team felt like they could go to you for anything.

You recalled those thoughts quietly, stuttering out a few incoherent words before Shauna grabbed your other hand and squeezed it, calling you back to your unfortunate reality. “Shauna I don’t.. know. For once I really don’t know what’s wrong with me. Normally I can voice myself.. normally I’m in control, but now it’s like someone hit a reset on my brain. Nothing works anymore, im starting back on square one.” You squeezed her hand back, taking a breath in, wincing as the pain in your hand finally started to settle, waiting for her response, and looking at the ground now.

“…That’s the most honest anyone here has been for a while I feel.” She let out a sharp chuckle before sniffling the strain of her allergies back into her nose and sighing. “This isn’t like you though, and.. by this I mean.. I feel like at this point everyone is different in some way, or in denial in SOME way.” Shauna rubbed your crimson stained hand gently with that oh so stupid concerned-confused pout on her face. “It’s weird to see how our situation changed us. You know?”

You stared at Shauna, she was right, and you hated it. Subsequently, your hand began to throb with pain, almost as if your body, separated from your mind, was saying “gotcha.” You pulled away from Shauna and held the cloth to your hand, not even giving true word to her statement, just a slight nod, and you began to walk off toward the cabin again, holding your hand, not even for your own safety, not even for your own survival, but for a comfort, a longing, something you missed oh so dearly. Not even trying to hide your hand, you step towards the cabin, eyes not up, rather on the flaky pine needle and leaf covered ground beneath you, shakily breathing. However, as you approached, something stopped you, a whisper, something, someone?

Your vision is blurry, dizzy even, you cant tell if it’s from the blood loss, or your brain playing tricks on you. You look around, focusing in on movement to your right. The only coherent thing you could see is that it was some form of being, you dont know what it was, but it needed it you there. Needed it near you. Was it you? Or was it this beast? It didnt matter, the lustful pull of this incoherent whisper was enough to draw you in. Walking, no, with a strong pace of a dizzy limp, you rushed toward whoever this was. It just felt right.

The forest no longer felt like a maze, rather, a clear magnetic force. You stopped in your tracks when you felt like it was right, when it felt like you were right. Locking into the vision in front of you, you held your hand more secure and looked around, where was this silhouette you saw? Just then, you heard what pulled you here, what was really behind your sudden mission.

“Did the wilderness… bring you here too?”

That voice, that cracky, but strong, smooth voice..

…

“What do you mean I have a crush on her??” You shouted at Shauna, giggling as she shushed you for being so careless. Your cleats hit the ground echoing along either the remains of your voice, ringing throughout every locker room locker.

“Okay well, it’s not like, friend level, like that’s totally not normal.” Shauna snorted at you, teasing you. Rolling her eyes before turning to you fully. “Like�� I get the wanting to be friends with her, like a squish or something right? But the way you talk about her, oh my god, you’ve sooo got a crush.” Her hands motioned along with her words.

“I mean. Shauna you’re the only one who knows I’m.. not exactly straight.”

“So? No one else knows, but I feel like.. I don’t know. Like I don’t think anyone would make fun of you for it, maybe like.. Nat as a joke, Mari because she’s… Mari… but that’s it, I never did when you told me.” Shauna beamed. “But maybe that’s just because we are friends.”

“How the fuck do I tell Lottie Matthews that though, she’s going to catch on too fast, like okay she doesn’t know that she makes it impossible to focus when she clears the ball to me up the sideline, because I’m too busy staring at well… her, and then the stupid dream we got like stranded on an island together.. and ALL the other stuff.” You finished your statement with a giggle. “I just don’t know. Maybe one day I’ll own up to it, but not anytime soon.”

Shauna sighed at you. “Okay, but you should always take chances..” She reciprocated the laugh with a giggle, taking your hands in hers and rocking in laughter, just as normal teenage girls would do.

…

“Lottie..” You mumbled, as she got closer to you, allowing you to see every scar and marking her face had to offer, and god did her face offer jewels upon jewels.

“…Whats this?” Lottie gently lifted your hand, as you winced in response, seeming as you finally snapped back into reality. Her hands pulled back a bit before peeling the dyed cloth off of your scar.

“Ah, that’s— I just got hurt while helping Shauna, it’s not a big deal, honest.” Holy shit, and now you’re LYING to her, as she decides to offer touch comfort to your shameful hand injury.

“There is no need to lie, this is definitely self inflicted, too perfect of a cut.” Lottie held your hand up a little higher, so she could see it better, the height difference between you two was palpable, and it made you swallow as she touched you. Soft, careful, thoughtful. Everything. Why did she— no why do you have to be so nervous..? Her dark lightly curled hair pushed back, her eyes gazing over you before letting go and stepping back, those sharp eyes looking you up and down.

“Something brought us two here, so, let’s talk.” Lottie whispered, signaling for you to find a place on the ground to sit, allowing you to rest first, including picking the spot, and yet she still held your bloody palm, almost guarding it from the ground. Your stomach flipped, but this time, from butterflies, if only you didn’t mess up your hand, maybe, just maybe, she would hold it. Maybe you could be bold and wrap your fingers around hers, but no, right now, your mind has control over you like a parasite. You aren’t thinking coherently. Lottie plopped down next to you, your hand still in her care

“Mmkay,” you mumble as you sit, enjoying the fact you get to sit. “I just.” You take the order of starting the conversation. “I feel like this.. this has made me worse, I don’t know, I don’t… I don’t want it to be this way, ever since I woke up its like I’ve been awake because I have to be. Not because I want to, I didn’t even feel me do this. I didn’t FEEL it Lot.” You hiss, energy kicking back in, pointing to your cut. “I didn’t WANT to do this, it’s like something was.. puppeteering me. Something wants me to harm myself. I hate this dizzy feeling. I hate, hate, hate it. God why is this happening to me? To us? I HATE this constant feeling of wanting to throw up, sometimes not even at something in front of me, but of the thought I might.. I MIGHT actually die out here. I wont get to tell the people the things I want to tell them, live with them, live my life, pursue MY life, and watch those close to me pursue theirs. I wont watch my children grow old, I wont see my mother, my father, my family.. I wont get to see them live, and I just have to be SATISFIED with that Charlotte.” You took a deep breath, and as you began to rumble more, a swift movement caught you off guard.

Lottie grabbed you by the shoulders and drew you into a hug, not a side hug like they’d do as a “good game,” line at the end of a soccer game, a full, wrapped hug, the pressure was there, everything, every element of the hug. You felt your eyes widen as all you could do was cry. Not many tears filled your eyes, but the stinging and punishment was there. You turned into her chest, your hand sunk into her wool jacket, staining it with your awful impure red. You bled into her body in more ways than one, tears and blood sunk into her, as she was silent. You didn’t know how badly you needed the warmth and radiance of someone else. You needed the feeling of support, of love, if you could even call it that. As quick as she pulled you in, she let you go, but this time, she laid you in her lap, head on her thighs. Lottie placed a hand on your head. Shushing you kindly, mumbling affirmations of reassurance to calm you down, but at this point, you were too worked up to even do anything. You hurt. So bad. But there was another part of you that made you realize, you were laying in Lottie Matthews lap. The one you crushed on. The one that made you feel butterflies for the first time at practice, the one that made you miss the chance to score. The one that made you feel unearthly.

“You know, I’m sure most of us feel that way. So many factors the forest has put us up against. We have lost so many, and yet, we have gained so much too.” She cooed, brushing her fingernails through your hair, spacing out as she did, looking at your face, and you could feel her gaze, but there was no comment needed. “If anything, we have learned to take chances. Any we get, that’s what the wilderness wants us to do.” Her voice rose a bit, almost as if she was inspired.

Take chances.

Take chances?

You looked ahead into the bushes, the brush, and the distance ahead, you thought about way laid beyond. But Lotties words rung in your head as if it was a catchy song like the ones she used to play on tapes in the locker room. “Take chances..” you mumbled. Once again, those cicadas spoke up, their loud wails yelling in your ears. The wind whispering, adding comments to their vocals. As you sat up, and looked directly at Lottie, she didn’t move, didn’t say anything, simply, she smiled. That small smile, the one where her eyes squish and speak words, like the cicadas, without understanding their non-spoken words, you understood thousands. You thought about Shauna, and all of her advice, you thought about those practices you spent looking at Lottie, and all the time you spent thinking about her, doubling it, and storing it in the back of your mind thinking it was shameful.

“Lottie.” You whispered, sighing, tearing up in the slightest.

“Yes?” She whispered back.

“…Lottie I——“ You choked on your own words, hesitating. You moved your bloody palm up to her face, sitting fully on your knees now. Shameful. Shameful you thought. Words attempting to run out of your mouth like a river, and stopping like it was blocked by a dam, and yet every dam must break eventually. Every factor was against you right now, your own body even played tricks on you. Every organ, every nerve. Lotties facial expression didn’t change, she didn’t move either, the only thing that did move, were her deeply toned eyes, directly into yours. Blinking off-beat with your own. Un-synced. Even so, there was something so special about that. However, you pulled your hand away, your flight mode got the better of you, why was it so hard? It’s just you two, and after a-

“Don’t…”

Silence. Both of you silenced. Your thoughts interrupted by her reaction. She slowly placed your hand back onto her cheek, drawing a slight smile on her face. Your own face confused before Lottie drew in closer.

“Ive known since day one.” Lottie smiled, drawing her warm body closer to yours. “Ive seen the way you’ve looked at me, the way you get distracted, all of it.” Lottie smiled, pressing your hand into her face. You could feel every muscle in her face move, all for you. She’s gorgeous. Absolutely ethereal.

“But why now..?” You speak as if you weren’t hiding this from her for years, you look at her mouth, dumbfounded by your own idiotic question.

“I have been waiting for you.” Her eyes shut as you both close the gap.

Nothing, silence, it’s just you and Lottie. Connected, together. Her lips are soft, fairly chapped, but you can still feel the layer underneath. You feel her hand move to your hip, pulling you even closer. Feeling every fiber holding this girl together shiver. Even you yourself are still in shock, but god are you enjoying this. It’s like she was able to finally silence your brain, for once you feel.. “normal,” more than normal even, you’re with Lottie Matthews. One of the Yellowjackets defenders, sitting here with you, and she’s being intimate.

You pull away for air, your lips leave, but there is still longing for more, and she displays that by pulling you even closer, moving her hand off of your bloodied one, and into your hair, softly kissing, minutes pass, as you share her hands exploring you, as your uncut one holds her by the hip. Eventually, you both tire yourself out, separating lips with a strand of saliva, Lottie smiling as it drips, clearing off of her now unchapped lips.

“So, how do you feel now?” Lottie says breathy.

You lean into her chest and close your eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Better than ever.” You chuckled looking at your palm with a few wet spots, most of it dried by now, looking up to her neck, planting a kiss under her chin, allowing her to breathe a giggle.

“Good, I knew the wilderness brought us here for a reason, my love.”

🌱.—

#lottie matthews x reader #lottie matthews #yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #One shot #drabble #x reader

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lotties-ashwagandha · 6 months ago

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OUR OWN KINGS AND GODS (nsfw)

(adult) lottie matthews x reader (gender neutral but afab), word count 2k

after an argument with lottie, she shares her anxieties with you over a bottle of rum, and in the late hours of the night you find solace in each other’s arms. set post season two finale, but no hunt au (you'll see what i mean). this took me so long to write pls interact/comment/reblog if u enjoy it :(

You have never seen her like this — tired, defeated. Usually such a source of peace, of joy, but as she stands before you, her love for the world is gone.

“I’m sorry,” she says again – the third time – breaking the silence that has seemed unending. “It’s been a hard day.”

You nod. You forgive her, as you always do. Even as the sting of her words still digs into you, still has your hands shaking with words of unspoken fury. You hardly ever get in arguments with Lottie, but when you do, it breaks you both.

“Say something,” she asks. You shrug. You clear your throat, try to swallow the knot building inside it.

It had started early in the morning. Lottie had left the wellness center without telling you, without leaving a note and without taking her phone that she kept for emergencies when she usually left the compound. When she returned you had been calm about it — it wasn’t worth starting anything over. Yet she had been abandoning you frequently all day, sparing no words for you that weren’t sharp. You finally confronted her about it and she had denied you an explanation. She claimed that she needed space. That you were being clingy. She weaponized ways she knew would hurt you and took pride in it when they did. You knew how to reach her, too — hours you had spent sniping at each other just to see who would be the first to fall.

“Tell me next time,” you say, “if something’s bothering you.”

Her anxiety — that’s what she had told you caused the dispute. It’s what caused her to abandon you for the day and deny you entry to her mind. She was overwhelmed. You believed her, but you also believed it was more than that. It was the anniversary of the crash.

Lottie stands before you still. She agrees to your request that she open up next time.

“I never meant to hurt you,” she tells you. Her voice has become hoarse from all the yelling.

You take her hands in yours. I know. You trail your thumbs over her knuckles and meet her gaze. “I want to move on from it.”

She nods. She closes her eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath. “I do, too.”

The tension begins to dissipate from the silence, yet the kitchen still feels stuffy. The whole house feels tainted by anger.

“I can’t be in here anymore,” you say. “I’m going outside to get some air.”

“Hold on,” Lottie orders. You sigh, but wait. She takes a bottle of rum from the counter and comes back.

“I can hardly stomach rum.”

“No one can stomach rum.”

You smile at that. It seems to endear her. Slowly the two of you are becoming more regulated.

Lottie leads you outside. You take in the fresh air, look up at the dark sky and your clear view of the stars. It’s one of the perks of being out so far from the rest of society at the wellness center, that you’re so connected to the natural world.

“Come on,” she calls, and you realize Lottie hasn’t stopped walking. You jog a little to catch up to her.

“Where are we going? It’s late, everyone’s in bed already. We can’t leave.”

“We aren’t leaving,” she keeps walking. “But I’m not sitting out here all night.”

You follow in obedience. Lottie leads you to a wood cabin, and you almost laugh when you see the sign — she’s led you to the Sharing Shack. When you go inside, you let yourself drop to sit on one of the cushions surrounding a small wood table. Lottie sets the rum on it before sitting next to you.

She sighs. Turns her gaze to you, to examine you, to try to see through you to assess your state.

“Relax,” you tell her, because though both of you are still coming down from the fight, you can’t handle any more talk of emotions. “Everything’s okay now.”

Lottie nods. She reaches over to give your hand a small squeeze before directing her attention to the bottle of rum. She opens it, and before you can realize you haven’t brought any glasses she takes a deep drink.

“Does it taste better than last year’s euthanasia tea you tried to get everyone to drink?” You joke. You know it’s cruel, but you can’t help but remember the last time you were in this cabin at night — the rest of the Yellowjackets, how you hardly averted hunting each other through the woods.

Lottie falters. She sets the bottle down, she can’t meet your eyes. You realize instantly how horrible it was to bring it up, to joke about it.

“I didn’t mean it like—”

“I know how you meant it,” she says blankly. Her tone is empty.

Silence. You take the bottle of rum in your hands and swallow as much as you can in one gulp.

You watch as Lottie stands and closes the curtains. She craves privacy just as you do — the rest of the wellness center doesn’t need to be awakened when she turns on the lamp on the table.

Lottie rolls her head, stretching her neck. She sits down next to you again. For a while you sit in silence, passing the bottle of rum between one another until your vision starts to become distorted and your irritability begins to dissipate.

“I never thought we would make it back,” Lottie admits quietly, unprompted. She’s silent for a moment before something changes in her expression — something raw, honest, something she feels shame in. “I didn’t really want us to make it back.”

Why would you? You want to ask. Why would you want to waste your time in this world when you can be free? In the wilderness, we are our own kings and gods.

“Do you still wish you hadn’t?” You ask. You’re a little afraid of the answer, but you have to know. “If you could go back right now, spend the rest of your life where you were in the wilderness, would you?”

Lottie hesitates. She leans back to lay on her elbows, legs stretched out. Like a teenager. It takes her longer than you’d like to decide.

“No,” she finally tells you. Her eyes meet yours. “Unless you were there with me, or you were dead.”

You spend a moment taking in the information. You wonder what she’s seen in the wilderness, what was so beautiful in such horror to let her long for it her entire life. Your thoughts are dulled and loop in unending circles from the rum, yet she occupies all of them.

“Would you go with me?” Lottie asks. You meet her dark eyes and witness the longing dancing in them. “I know it will never be possible, but if it was…”

You nod. “Yes.”

Again, your thoughts are drawn back to the last time you were here, with the Yellowjackets – the moment Lottie raised the glass of clear liquid to her lips and had been effortlessly ready for death if no one else was willing to take the fall. You consider her devotion – and you consider the devotion of her followers, those who would die for her just as readily. You realize you’re one of them.

You realize the gift of the wilderness has not worn away over time or distance: you are free.

You lean to her level and pull Lottie into a kiss. It takes her by slight surprise, but she recovers quickly, one of her hands weaving into your hair and pulling you to the angle she wants. Her dominance over you is asserted in the span of a second – it’s a shift you feel potently, one you welcome.

You’ve been starved of her in conflict. Yet again she is sustaining you in the hunger of her kiss, in the control you give her liberally. You have always been hers to guide and mold.

Lottie sits up, presses a hand to your chest and pushes you down. The discomfort of the floor is soothed by the cushions you lay on – it’s disregarded anyway as Lottie pulls away and you get a clear view of her as she sits above you. In the dimmed light of the cabin she gazes upon you like an angel, or like a god, one you have dedicated yourself to worshiping.

Lottie pauses.

“I did it for you,” she says in a hushed voice. You want to ask her what she means, but before you can she stands and crosses the room. You hadn’t noticed them, yet they’re set there all the same – the collection of glasses from last year, one of which had been poisoned. They are all empty now and thoroughly cleaned. One of them is missing.

Lottie picks one of the glasses. She holds it in her hand and takes a deep breath. After a moment of examining it she comes back, takes the bottle of rum, and pours some of it into the glass.

“I would have died for you,” she says. She takes a sip of the rum – the glass isn’t poisoned, but adrenaline runs through you as you watch her sip from it. Her gaze never parts from yours.

You sit up again, and she sits down next to you. One of her hands comes to rest high on the back of your neck.

“Drink,” she orders. Her voice is quiet but firm, denying her is not an option when she raises the glass to your lips. It’s intense as it travels down your throat – the warmth of it courses through your body, collecting between your thighs. A look of satisfaction comes over her when the glass is emptied.

“Good,” she praises, and sets the glass down on the table. “You’re so good for me.”

You bite back a whine. Lottie notices your growing desperation, she thrives in it. She pulls you to her roughly, into another kiss, one that holds promise of more than innocence. She straddles you, pushes you down so you’re laying flat again.

You begin to fumble with your shirt – she takes it off for you and tosses it to the side. Her lips attach to your neck, biting and sucking and marking you in any way she can. You let out a moan, hear her breath hitch as you do. She moves down your chest, more gentle but just as fervent as she pulls one of your nipples into her mouth. She runs her tongue over it, hands holding you in place as you arch into her touch. You need more. She can feel it, she loves the torture.

“Please,” you breathe, begging under her touch. Specifics are gone from your mind, just that you need her, in any and every way she would allow.

“Please? Please, what, honey?” she asks, giving you a look as if she’s oblivious. You don’t respond as soon as she hopes, so before you can speak, Lottie kisses you – it clouds your mind as you feel her pull off your pants. Your hands find her back, yet one moves to her bicep as one of her hands travels between your legs.

Your grip on her becomes tight as her fingers run through you, stopping to press against your clit. She moves in tight circles in response to your moan, the sudden intensity of her touch overwhelming in the best of ways.

“Is this what you wanted, baby?” she asks. “This is what you needed, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” you whine, your eyes falling closed at her touch. One of her hands comes to rest at the base of your neck, and your eyes open again.

“Look at me, darling,” she demands, and after you nod, she slides two of her fingers into you. She pumps them into you slowly at first, ensuring your adjustment before speeding her pace. Her thumb finds your clit, and you can’t hold back the string of moans that escapes you.

“Good, let me hear you,” Lottie praises. “You’re doing so well, my love.”

Every thought other than her, her touch, fades away. All that’s left in the world is her and all the ways you’d let her use you, all of the sacrifices you would make in her name. In the wilderness she was a prophet, and still she rules as one.

“Breathe,” she reminds you – she could take you to the edge of death and you’d be willing if it meant a moment more of this euphoria.

You moan, feeling yourself rush close to the edge. Lottie can feel it, the hint of a smile is present at the edge of her lips as she looks down at you. She kisses you, and you pull her as close as you can.

“Let go for me, baby,” she allows you when she pulls out of the kiss. Her tone is gentle. “Cum for me.”

Your body responds instantly. At her words your orgasm courses through you, and every muscle in your body tenses before letting go all at once. You can’t hear her praise as you endure, you can’t think. Your breath comes in gasps.

When finally the pleasure subsides, Lottie pulls her touch from you. Though there’s no cushion to support her on the floor, she lays down on her side and loops her arm around your waist. The care with which she gazes at you sparks the warmth of love in your chest. You feel safe in her arms.

Through the wilderness you would follow her if it ever came to it. She ruled as a prophet over you, and you would spill blood in devotion. Every sacrifice she wanted she could take – in the wilderness, we are our own kings and gods.

#lottie matthews x reader #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets #lottie matthews #adult lottie matthews smut #adult lottie matthews x reader #lottie matthews smut #yellowjackets smut #adult lottie matthews

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discoursecatharsis · 1 year ago

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I've noticed this pattern with antis in fandom where, in their attempt to distance themselves from anything and everything "problematic" in their fandoms, they refuse to acknowledge when they DO enjoy something problematic. Therefore, they don't recognize the problematic elements of the ship, character, media, etc. They'll also heavily downplay or deny any problematic. aspects of their favorite fandom thing.

I just saw an example of this and it is blowing my mind right now and I need to share this with y'all.

It involves the comments on this video.

youtube

Some context for Princess and the Frog: the blonde girl is Charlotte, also called Lottie. She's the main character Tiana's best friend. Charlotte's goal was always to marry a prince, and she almost marries (who she believes to be) Prince Naveen, but once she sees that Naveen and Tiana are in love, she tries to help them turn back human so they can be together.

At the end of the movie, Tiana and Naveen get married, and this scene plays after. Charlotte dances with Naveen's kid brother, and says "I've waited this long" in response to him saying that he's 6 and a half years old.

Now Charlotte's line here, if you look at the context clues of her story line, implies that she's saying "I've waited this long for a prince to marry, so I can wait longer for Naveen's younger brother to grow up." It's just a joke. Albeit, a joke that many will find to be very uncomfortable and inappropriate, but a joke nonetheless. I highly doubt Charlotte is actually going to "wait for" this child to grow up to marry him. She's making a joke at her expense, about her desperation of her dream to marry a prince.

BUT FOR SOME REASON.... many of the comments are like "she means that she's been waiting to DANCE with a prince."

I'm completely and utterly serious y'all. Here are some of the comments along those lines, with thousands of thumbs up each.

If you've seen this movie, you'll realize that these comments make absolutely no sense for more than one reason.

1) Charlotte danced with Prince Naveen (or at least with the villain disguised as him) earlier in the movie. She danced with a prince already. Why would that still be her dream if she already accomplished that?

2) Lottie speaks multiple times (during her childhood and in present day as a young adult) about her dream of "marrying a prince." Not dancing with a prince. Not meeting one. No, she wants to MARRY A PRINCE AND BE A PRINCESS.

This video has some clips of her saying this, at the time stamps 0:20, 2:52, 4:08, and 5:21.

youtube

Charlotte does give up her dream of marrying Naveen specifically for Tiana, because she see that he makes Tiana happy. But with how she jumps in like a wide receiver to catch the bouquet at Naveen and Tiana's wedding, it's clear she still has her dream of marrying *A* prince, just not Naveen.

But back to the comments on that video.

The comments seem to be downplaying the actual implication of her line. It's almost like they're desperately trying to ignore what she actually meant and make it more wholesome because they don't want to admit that their favorite movie has an uncomfy and inappropriate joke.

It's disturbing that this is yet another example where people in fandom (who are fantis or have been influenced by that fanti mindset) are downplaying a scene (or a ship, trope, etc) that is ACTUALLY problematic because they personally like the movie or the character and they don't want to admit that it has some issues. Instead of just admitting "yeah that scene/line was kinda fucked up and gross," they are jumping through HOOPS to make it seem more innocent than it was. And this is completely blowing my mind and is honestly concerning.

If you want to personally interpret it in a different way, in a way to make it more palatable to you, be my guest. That's what fandom and fanon is all about and I do that a lot too. But to see so many people outright deny the actual implications of this line is... bizarre af. It's one thing to be like "hmm yeah I don't like that, so I'm going to personally interpret this ship/trope/scene differently so it's more comfortable to me." It's another thing entirely to be in complete denial and ignore the actual context of the character and their story.

Also, so many of the other comments on the video aren't even commenting on the actual scene or on what Charlotte said. They're just generic comments on how much they love Charlotte as a character or how they miss this 2D animation. It's like they're trying reallyyyyyy hard to ignore the joke that's being made.

On the grander scheme, this is concerning because these people are refusing to acknowledge something that's inappropriate at best and predatory at worse (an adult "waiting" for a child to grow up) because they don't want to be caught enjoying/supporting something "bad."

All their talk about normalizing and normalization, but they're the ones kinda normalizing bad things by downplaying them or being in denial of it when it's in THEIR favorite media. And that is very concerning and a big issue.

#throwing salt #uh what other tags did i use to use? I legit can't remember #fandom discourse #fantis #Youtube

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daisyblog · 2 months ago

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Shattered Hearts

Our Story Masterlist Summary: The argument that led to Harry and YN going on a break.

Warning: panic attack, shouting, swearing, arguing, angry!harry, angry!yn, smoking

Walking through the dark and lonely door was hard. YN had been practically living in Doncaster for the last few weeks, helping her grandparents with the older twins and being there as extra support for Lottie and Felicite.

Being surrounded by her family and being their support meant YN had a distraction from her own feelings. She didn’t have time to think about herself because she was too focused on her sisters. Her Nan had told her to go back home for a few days to be just YN.

If she was being honest, she didn’t want to. Being by herself meant she felt more, thought more and cried more.

For the first few days YN was back in London, she managed to keep busy. She had a few work deadlines to complete and walking Teddy as much as she could was a good distraction as she walked around the Heath with her earphones in.

She was missing Harry terribly whilst he was tour. Being in different time zones and his schedule being so chaotic meant they hardly spoke and if they did it was quick conversation before Harry was rushed off the phone.

Life had become so different for YN. She felt like her days were the same, the same routine everyday. She was just existing whilst the world carried on around her.

YN could feel the heavy feeling in her chest all day, but she had done her best to try and ignore it. Keeping herself distracted helped, but it was only a matter of time before the panic struck.

The feeling began in her chest; the tightness felt intense as she sat on the edge of the king sized bed. YN closed her eyes, praying the feeling would go away.

Her heartbeat thumped with no rhythm as she desperately gasped for breath, struggling to catch it has it left her body.

As YN sat on the edge of the bed, she opened her eyes only to see the room spin. The dizziness sparked her eyes to blink in worry. Her hand came up to hold her head, making no difference as her body continued to fight.

“Harry”.

The only person she thought could help right now. But no matter how many times she repeated his name, he didn’t come. How could he? He was a flight away.

It wasn’t the first panic attack she’d had, so she knew eventually it would end but waiting for that moment was torture.

Somehow in her fuzzy mind, she remembered the 333 grounding rule that Harry had helped her with many times before.

Identify 3 objects: book, wardrobe, mirror

Identify 3 sounds: the traffic outside, the tv downstairs, Teddy chewing at his toy

Move 3 body parts: head, foot, hand

Breathing gently and calmly, she began to feel her body and mind relax as she came down from her panic. She still felt uneasy but being able to breathe freely was something she took advantage of.

Blindly moving her hand around the duvet next to her, she found her phone. YN quickly found the one name she needed right now. Harry.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

No answer.

YN’s panic had turned into anger as she needed to feel relief from something. She sat in thought as she waited for her mind to find that fix. She was about to give up, when she remembered Louis always kept a spare pack of cigarettes in the guest bedroom in case he ever stayed.

Her feet trudged along the landing to the guest bedroom. Every draw was searched until her eyes landed on the box she had been looking for. Taking a white stick from its home and placing it between her lips felt unfamiliar but YN wasted no time lighting the end of the cigarette with the lighter.

She breathed in, allowing the smoke to fill her lungs as she let out a shaky breath. And for once, she sat in a room full of smoke trying to blow all her problems away.

---

Harry thought it was unusual for YN not to reply to any of his texts or phone calls but arriving home from tour for a couple of days, told him everything he needed to know.

He opened the front door and the silence hit him. The house was always full of noise, whether that was YN blaring music or clumsily trying to move something from one room to another.

Being greeted by a loud silence raised concern. Harry quickly left his suitcase by the front door, desperately trying to find YN. His search didn’t take long as he found YN spread out on the sofa, smoke surrounding her as she brought the white stick up to her mouth. Teddy’s pleading eyes found Harry from his place in his dog bed.

“Oh look who finally turned up”. Her tone caught Harry by surprise. It was bitter with a tad of sarcasm.

“Babe?”. He was confused. YN would usually be running into his arms, excited to see him. “Why are you smoking?”.

YN scoffed, a humorous laugh leaving her lips. “Of course you’d only focus on me smoking”. She brought the cigarette back up to her mouth before blowing the smoke back out, her eyes not leaving Harry’s, daring him to say more.

“What-What’s going on?”. Harry nibbled on his bottom lip in rhythm to his heartbeat that was pounding against his chest.

YN shrugged her shoulders in stubbornness, pushing the cigarette out against the small glass tray. “You tell me!”.

Harry frowned in confusion, his fingers scratching at his forehead. “Well, I come home thinking I was going to have a lovely welcome and…and here we are having some sort of silent argument…and out of no where you’re smoking”.

“Where were you on Friday night after your show?”. YN asked, confidence heavy in her voice.

“I was out with Jeff, Mitch and a few others from the band and crew”. Harry explained, still standing near the doorway. “Why? What shit have you read this time?”.

YN could hear the annoyance in Harry’s voice, which riled her even more. “I phoned you…you didn’t answer…I thought maybe you were busy or whatever…but when I saw photos of you at the club that night, your phone was in your hand majority of the night…but you didn’t phone me back until the next afternoon”.

Harry threw his hands up in frustration. “For fuck sake YN…you’re in a mood with me over not answering a fucking phonecall…do you not know how fucking ridiculous that is!”.

“I needed you Harry!”. YN shouted out in anger.

“You always fucking need me…you don’t know how hard it is on tour…performing most nights, straight to the studio…early mornings and late nights…someone always needing me for something…you just don’t understand, it’s so fucking hard sometimes”. YN was stunned, almost lost for words at Harry’s outburst.

There was silence between them until YN broke it. “You’re right…I don’t know how hard it is to be doing your job…but I do know what it’s like to have to sit with my little sisters until they fall asleep because they miss Mum…I do know what it’s like to listen to my baby brother and sister ask where their Mummy is…I do know what it’s like to listen to my grandparents crying through the wall thinking nobody can hear them because they miss their daughter…I do know what it’s like to have to step up into that role and try my best to keep them all happy and safe, because that’s what my Mum would have wanted”.

Harry’s gaze stared at the floor as he listened to YN. But what scared him the most was the fact that she didn’t speak with anger, frustration or annoyance, her voice was gentle.

“So yeah…I’m fucking sorry I can’t relate to your perfect pop star life at the moment”. YN watched as Harry stared at her with hurt.

“I’m sorry”. Harry’s voice whispered.

YN knew the next few words were going to cause more upset, but she felt this was the only way that her and Harry were going to deal with their emotions right now. “I think we should go on a break”.

Harry’s head shot up quicker than YN thought it would. “No!”. He shook his head a few times in disbelief. “No…no…we can’t”. The tears picked at the corner of his eyes.

“As much as this kills me…it’s for the best right now…you said it yourself, tours stressful and demanding…and I’m needed back home right now”. YN felt her own tears form in her eyes. “It’s not like the long distance is working, we don’t even talk everyday anymore”.

Harry felt like he was feeling all the emotions right now. He was sad, upset and angry, but the anger took over. “Fine…I’ll go to Gems and stay…but I think it’s silly to break up over me not answering a stupid fucking call!”.

YN closed her eyes in defeat because Harry couldn’t see the bigger picture that they were both going through difficult situations right now. She didn’t want him to feel guilty, she knew he was upset and angry, but that ‘stupid fucking call’ was a cry for help.

She watched as he grabbed his suitcase that sat by the front door. “I called because I was having a panic attack…and you’re the only person that can make me feel safe during them”.

Harry knew he should have said something, ran back to YN and wrapped her in his arms. But with the heated argument and the emotions surrounding them, Harry continued to walk through the door with guilt. Leaving two shattered hearts.

Tag List:

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alottiegoingon · 6 months ago

Text

hc!friends to lovers

lottie matthews x fem!reader

summary: going from friends to lovers with lottie

warnings: lottie mentioned as lesbian once, pure fluff, nsfw at the bottom so MDNI there, not proofread

this was a request so i hope you enjoy it 🤞

@l0tt1emy this is me tagging youu

WHEN FRIENDS

୨୧ being friends with lottie matthews would include spend your saturday night on her huge house (more like a mansion to you) when her parents were out for work or just so busy that they wouldn't even notice you there

୨୧ you didn't know that, but she would spend the entire day thinking about you when it was a sleepover night

୨୧ sleepovers would be a casual thing for you and it was your favorite moment of the day cause lottie would turn it into a fashion show to model her new clothes for you

୨୧ speaking of it, you would constantly find yourself waiting in fitting rooms and their uncomfortable seats when lottie was trying on thousands of clothes just to buy (steal) one or two

୨୧ "do you think it looks too pink?" lottie comes out from behind the curtains to display the outfit she was trying on, featuring a fluffy pink cropped cardigan with short sleeves paired with a high-waisted, pink skirt that features vertical stripes

୨୧ "no, you look perfect," you say softly, eyes filled with affection while feeling a nervous flutter stirs in your stomach

୨୧ in parties, you would usually stick to her side and even though lottie wasn't extremely popular, people knew who she was. either because her parents had loads of money or cause, let's be honest, she fucking was stunning

୨୧ when offering to get her a drink and she would look at you with those pretty eyes and nod like "okay :)))"

୨୧ if you were part of the yellowjackets, during jackie's idea of telling the girls what you admire about them, you would DEF make her blush on purpose

୨୧ "lottie matthews..." you say lightheartedly and she's already screaming internally "you have the prettiest hair i’ve ever seen and a great fashion sense. and, yeah, you suck at french but you are so good at soccer and you have the biggest and kindest heart ever"

୨୧ and she's giggling and nervously rocking from side to side with her cheeks matching the color of her clothes

୨୧ lottie was a lonely kid and since her parents were always away, she would be taken care of by maids and housekeepers so she was easily anxious when speaking to people her age. luckyfor her, she would hide it quite well and the mean and cutesy lesbian in her would mask it greatly

୨୧ "does someone want to tell kelly kapowski to maybe worry less about prom and more about not fսcking up nationals?" lottie was mumbling in front of the mirror, fixing her bangs and makeup and you were ready to agree with anything she said

୨୧ "i know right?" but you didn't even know what kelly kapowski had said

୨୧ putting her money to good use, one of her favorite ways to show you how grateful she was for your friendship was to buy you things. not like once or twice but ALL. THE. TIME.

୨୧ books, vhs tapes of your favorite movies, vinyl, a cute dress you mentioned once, nice shoes, stuffed animals, things that reminded her of you. all you can possibly think of!!!

୨୧ "lot, you didn't have to. this must have cost a fortune!" and it's just her standing at your front door, hidden behind a huge teddy bear she bought for your birthday and a brand new walkman

୨୧ one night, when lottie's parents were home, she sneaked you in and you almost fell to your death when climbing the walls like fucking spider-man and getting to her room through the window but her perfume lingering around made everything worthy when she hugged you

୨୧ "thank you for coming, i know it's late," she lies in bed and tap the empty space beside her for you to join her. "it's okay, i was just watching a movie. i'm glad you called me"

୨୧ 'movie’ you said, but the flashback of you sleeping buried under the covers and snoring like an old guy comes to your mind...

୨୧ i feel like lottie would have a hard time opening up to people and letting them in but if they were genuine, she would trust them. but def insecure about telling you about her visits to the psychiatrist cause we all know she's just a silly girl with a few issues...

୨୧ but you were so respectful, reassuring and understanding to her that she doesn't feel ashamed or judged

୨୧ during that specific night when you were just hanging around together in her bed and talking about life, an accidental graze of her nose on yours led to an awkward moment that led to awkward giggles and an awkward and messy kiss and this was all you needed to call her your girlfriend

WHEN DATING

୨୧ even when dating, lottie would often feel insecure and ask you for help. reassuring her and telling her that there she wasn't broken and there was nothing wrong with her was something you always had to do but it didn't bother you at all. you were lottie's biggest worshiper and could spend hours just telling her how BADLY you loved her

୨୧ hear me out. lottie was a big fan of holding hands. you could be in class, watching a movie, reading together, talking with your group of friends, and even eating, but she was ALWAYS staring at you with pleading eyes and her palm facing up, extended in your direction, ready for you to hold her hand

୨୧ if you think she spoiled you too much already, you better take a seat cause that girl would show up at your place with presents all the time. "i know we agreed on saving money but i know how badly you wanted these..." you're speechless when she gives you something you really wanted

୨୧ but you can't get mad, you just thank her and kiss her adorable pout :(

୨୧ loves loves LOVES to give you small gifts as well like a pretty shell she found when going to the beach once or even her ENTIRE shell collection

୨୧ strongly believe that she would be the greatest big spoon ever and would love to cuddle you but doesn’t complain if you want to hold her

୨୧ lottie is TALL. a three would be afraid of her! im 100% convinced that she would put your stuff in a place you can't reach so you have to ask her for help. "baby, are you busy? can you get that for me?" and she's fighting demons to maintain her composure, resisting the urge to smile as she handles you the book she had just tucked away on the top shelf

୨୧ over protective lottie!!! she isn’t exactly jealous cause she trusted you a lot but is always around and keeping you in her sight. she has her arm around you all the time, drives you EVERYWHERE (makes her driver do that), and is always ready to defend you

୨୧ oh the many things that happened in the backseat that the poor driver had to ignore...

୨୧ if the crash had happened, one single mumble of yours about how hungry you were was ENOUGH for her to call nat and travis out. "lottie, there's no food. we looked everywhere!" "look harder!"

NSFW (MDNI)

୨୧ lottie spoils you with cute gifts but she’s not innocent. she would buy you the prettiest lingerie in the store just to fuck you in those 🤭

୨୧ she would adore when you face ride her. she just can’t resist to your moans and soft noises or how you feel so shy and dirty about it but just can’t stop. she loves to feel your legs around her face

୨୧ in fact, i’m a strong believer that she could just cum by hearing you moan her name. you can’t believe your eyes when you feel her nails dig into your thighs and lottie desperately closing her legs and rubbing them together, groaning into your pussy :(

୨୧ big fan of overstimulating you!!! holding your hips to keep you riding her face or her strap if she’s under you or rubbing your clit even after you made a mess on her fingers just to watch you squirm and cry for her 🤓

୨୧ i’ve mentioned this before BUT fucking you against a mirror in dressing rooms? she’s all in. even better if she’s fucking you from behind with a strap AND forcing you look at your messy and humiliating reflection in the mirror

୨୧ now when it comes to her, she loves when you suck her but keep your eyes on hers. eye contact is!!!! her fingers go crazy in your hair, pulling and holding so tight that it hurts but you don’t give a damn about it

୨୧ she wouldn't ever say no but she prefers to have her time with you instead of quickies. im a lottie hopeless romantic truther!!!

୨୧ i feel like she's not really loud when you're eating her out or fucking her, she just moans your name and lets lots of soft, weak and breathy noises and whimpers out 😵‍💫

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #lottie matthews #lottie matthews x reader

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