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#one day ill finally have an old man comic idea and be free#stanford pines#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#fiddauthor#jesus thats alot of tags
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a vague timeline for things because marvel is fucked all across the board and i need some sense of continuity + solidifiying my past headcanons--this is close to what i had ran with in the past, just typed up again.Â
1930: max eisenhardt is born in dusseldorf, germany. the eisenhardt family moves shortly thereafter to nuremburg; max has no memories of dusseldorf. this is the place his parents were born as well. reasonably, max considers nuremburg his home town.Â
1933: ruth eisenhardt is born in nuremberg, germany, maxâs younger and final sibling.Â
1935-1938: max meets magda, the daughter of one of the lady janitors at the school he attended.Â
1939: the eisenhardts, following an antisemitic outburst that shamed and injured maxâs uncle erich, and a violent interaction with jakobâs former general from the first world war where he was beaten and thrown out of his office, and, finally, kristallnacht, move to warsaw in an attempt to escape the anti-jewish tensions.Â
1940: the warsaw ghetto is built around them.Â
1940-1942: the very young max turns into a food smuggler in the warsaw ghetto, acquiescing meals for both his family members and other jewish families with other boys. he has his bar mitsvah sometime in this period, despite not being 13, given the direness of the situation.Â
1942: deportation to the treblinka camps begins. the eisenhardts flee yet again. on their way back to their hideout, they are captured by nazi regiment. the eisenhardts are executed, but jakob saves his sonâs life by butting him out of the line of the bullets. regardless, max is knocked unconscious, and brought to a mass grave where he is dumped alongside his family.
1942-1944: max is found alive in the camp, and put to work for his impressively sturdy frame despite the harrow of starvation. in order to avoid being selected for death, max becomes a sonderkommando.Â
1942-1944: this bit is a bit of influence from the xmcu, but something iâve always incorporated into my canon regardless; maxâs mutant abilities laid nearly dormant due to physical illness contracted from exertion and malnourishment, however, in moments of grief and anger, they were still strong enough to rear up. more than once, heâd injured officers, and killed one on accident out of fear. instead of being executed, josef mengele and doctor sinister took interest in him and conducted various physical experiments. when they could not produce the same effects, he was sent back to the work force.Â
late 1944: max participates in the sonderkommando rebellion, escaping not only alongside other sonderkommandos, but magda, who had happened to also be interned in the camps. 14 and 15 respectively, they spend the rest of their teens together, and most of their 20s.Â
1950: anya eisenhardt is born. max marries magda two months into her pregnancy.Â
1957: the identity of âerik magnus lehnsherrâ is created by georg odekirk, however i do not implement the idea that erik posed as rroma to âfit inâ with the rroma community since i think its kinda.. bad. heâs accepted as his wifeâs husband and a jewish man. max becomes erik to protect himself and his family.
1959: the eisenhardts--now lehnsherrs--move to vinnitsa, a then-soviet region, in order to pursue stable work, as erik became dissatisfied with only scraping by to provide for their daughter. he acquires a construction job in the summer, where he worked for another few months before the next incident.Â
fall of 1959: erik consciously uses his abilities for the first time, hurling a crowbar at his boss over a pay dispute. when he returns to the inn where he and his family had been staying, he finds it aflame, and anya trapped inside. when he makes an attempt to free her, he is held down by the security his boss had employed, evoked over their dispute, and is forced to watch anya burn to death. finally, in an explosion of 29 years of grief and anger, catalyzed by the loss of his child, erikâs abilities fully emerge. not only does he kill everyone in the immediate vicinity he deems responsible for the event, including anyone who happened to become caught in the detritus and obstructions, he levels more than half of the city. in the ruins and ash, he finds anyaâs scorched body and digs a grave with his hands to bury his daughter, where magda in the wake of his destruction approaches him horrified by his actions. he asks her to help him bury their daughter, and in her fear, she proclaims him a monster before fleeing, unknown to either of them, pregnant with the twins. erik is approached by another regiment of soldiers who attempt to shoot him in the head. he turns their guns on them instead, finishes burying and honoring his daughter, and spends some time searching for magda, whom he never finds. after a few days of unsuccessfully looking for his wife, erik packs what little he has left and travels from the leveled vinnitsa to haifa, israel.Â
1960: erik volunteers at a hospital in haifa that predominantly focused on helping other survivors of the shoah, where he seeks some modicum of treatment himself, and meets none other than charles xavier.Â
1961: after helping charles rescue gabi, erik realizes he and charlesâ views are incompatible, and departs from haifa. he is eventually scouted by both the israeli secret service and a western outfit (likely the CIA) whilst hunting nazi war criminals.Â
1962: erik hunts nazi war criminals and turns them over to israel for trial. i donât really feel like going into detail about this one because its a little convoluted but basically erik is âallowedâ to turn over certain nazis that are deemed acceptable to turn over to israel by his western control, but when he turns over a nazi that the west does not want him to turn over, agents show up to put an end to his âbetrayalsâ, where he learns the truth of what they were doing and freaks out in a rage and kills them all, where he finally adopts the identity of âmagnetoâ. he moves to brooklyn, new york, in the same year.Â
1964: erik meets cassandra michaels, who designs his outfit. this is where this timeline gets fucked to hell because i have to work with 60 years of super old dumbass comics that characterize erik as a super hammy archetypical villain when thats not the character he develops into.Â
this post is going to be SUPER LONG so this is a placeholder for me to edit and continue it later in detail. take these points as general points for the future before i write them out fully.Â
late 60s is the first instance of asteroid m shit
the 1970s and 80s are the brotherhood heyday before the x-men really exist and theyâre the only public figures saving and protecting mutants while also executing violent resistance to mutant oppression.Â
early o5 era is around 1990-1999
dark phoenix saga around 2000Â
genosha massacre mid 2000s. the âmagneto was rightâ movement begins around this date as well, and che guevara-type merchandise starts sprouting up.
m day and civil war in 2008-ish, a few years following the genoshan massacre.Â
utopia around 2011.Â
avx around 2014.Â
#and i will do more LATER.#-- JUST LOOK AT ALL THAT WE HAVE MADE. | HEADCANONS.#long post#shoah tw#child death tw
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Best Serial Killer Movies of the â90s Ranked
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Someone must have left the freezer door in the morgue open, because grisly reminders of the past are thawing before our eyes. You can see it this weekend with the release of John Lee Hancockâs The Little Things, a throwback to the days when movie stars hung out at crime scenes instead of in spandex, and itâll be more apparent next month with the launch of Clarice, a television spinoff of 1991âs The Silence of the Lambs. All the evidence points to only one conclusion: the serial killer thrillers of the â90s are back!
Not that weâre complaining. For a macabre minute or two, every Hollywood name appeared eager to play either the detective or the killerâthe hunter or the obsessed, which often proved interchangeable for both characters. Granted that means there can be something formulaic about many of these movies. Yet they can also be bleak, hard-edged, and ambiguous. From our modern gaze, where the dominant studio conventions prefer reassuring morality tales and sunny lighting, these moviesâ preference for shadows and discomfort in the mainstream is kind of startling.
So grab your magnifying glass and fortify your stomach, because weâre about to revisit some of the best (and worst) of â90s serial killer thrillers. (Also this list is strictly for the decade when the genre was at its height and it excludes slasher movies like Scream, which may feature serial killers but were not exactly adult-oriented thrillers.)
12. Eye of the Beholder (1999)
Eye of the Beholder is a tonal oddity that only passingly flirts with the conventions of â90s serial killer thrillers, all while it tries to pay homage to (read: rip-off) Alfred Hitchcock. But any credit it deserves for deviationâincluding making Ashley Juddâs central femme fatale the killerâit loses in execution. As a muddied, impenetrable tale about an intelligence officer (Ewan McGregor) who spies on and falls in love with a serial killer, Eye of the Beholder is a scattershot of bad ideas that run the gamut from ludicrous to misogynistic.
Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but this movie will close the lids over your pupils inside of 30 minutes.
11. Nightwatch (1997)
It feels a little mean to rag on Ewan McGregor back-to-back, but maybe serial killer movies just arenât his genre? That could be at least one takeaway from an ill-advised double feature of Eye of the Beholder and Nightwatch, the latter of which is a remake of a 1994 Danish film that Iâve not seen⌠and probably wonât since both the original film and American remake are directed by the same man.
McGregor plays medical student Martin here, a kid who gets an after school job by becoming the night watch security at the local morgue. But as a series of grisly prostitute murders pile up, Martin realizes he needs to figure out who the killer isâthat or continue to be framed by the necrophiliac fiend who keeps coming by the morgue for one last liaison. Itâs exactly as skeevy as it sounds. Do yourself a favor and go your whole life without hearing Nick Nolte sing âThis Old Manâ while climbing onto a corpse.
10. Natural Born Killers (1994)
The movie that Quentin Tarantino disowned, Natural Born Killers is a seedy mess based on a Tarantino script that was heavily rewritten by Oliver Stone, David Veloz, and Richard Rutowski. The concept itself is a seemingly inevitable escalation of the âbad romance outlawsâ archetype thatâs been floating around Hollywood since at least 1950âs Gun Crazy, and which was then made iconic by Bonnie & Clyde (1967).
But whereas those films relied on bank robbers living fast, Natural Born Killers descends into a seeming final form with Mickey and Mallory (Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis) as giddy serial killers who are eventually out for maximum carnage. Technically the pair are supposed to be presented as victims of traumatic child abuseâand who are then wrongfully glorified by the media. But Stoneâs sloppy and tanked vision lacks the discipline to achieve anything beyond its maliciousness. Early sequences imagining Malloryâs abusive childhood like itâs a television sitcom, and later psychedelic visions of Robert Downey Jr.âs opportunistic news reporter as the Devil, do little to divorce the film from its shallow self-satisfaction in close-ups of heads being shot.
The movie came under controversy in the years after its release for inspiring alleged copycat killers as well as school shooters. It feels irresponsible to blame media for actual violence, but itâs still quite an indictment that Stoneâs attempt to criticize media glorification became a favorite for many a disturbed individual with a gun.
9. Kiss the Girls (1997)
When studying competent, middle of the road Hollywood thrillers, Kiss the Girls is a solid place to start. As a decently made bit of studio convention, the movie is anchored by strong elements like Morgan Freeman as James Patersonâs literary hero, Alex Cross, and Ashley Judd as Kate, the victim who survives a masked killerâs attempt to abduct her into his harem.
Moments like Kateâs escape sequence through the North Carolina wilderness are effectively filled with adrenaline, and Judd particularly gives the salacious piece conviction. However, it is salacious to a fault. Even if the movie toned down the source novelâs even more lurid misogyny, the film studies Kate and the other victims with a lascivious male gaze, blurring sex with violence, real world horror with leering entertainment. Right down to its title, the film can be rightly criticized as Hollywood glamourizing another story about violence against women. Whether that damns the whole movie depends on the viewer, but it certainly keeps it low on our list.
8. The Bone Collector (1999)
Marketed with a hell of a tagline about there being thousands of taxi cabs in New York City thatâll get you homeâand one that wonâtâThe Bone Collector is almost comically slavish to the clichĂŠs of â90s moviemaking. The wrinkle here is that after a faux cab driver begins abducting his victims off the street, the crime psychologist who must stop him is entirely stuck by his bedside. Due to a tragic accident, Denzel Washingtonâs Lincoln Rhyme is paralyzed from the neck down. Yet he is still able to catch serial killers by communicating in the earpiece of police officer Amelia Donaghy (an entirely unconvincing Angelina Jolie).
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Lost Girls Review: Netflix Takes on the Long Island Serial Killer
By Rosie Fletcher
Books
The Last Book on the Left Takes on the Grim History of Serial Killers
By Alec Bojalad
Together the pair stay one step behind the mystery killerâs tracks as he executes a series of increasingly gruesome and ridiculous murders. Itâs preposterous, and in some ways a forerunner for Saw with the satisfaction it takes in absurd death traps, but Washington is effortlessly compelling, even when he never leaves his apartment. As a bit of absurd Hollywood fluff, right down to the ultimately lackluster unmasking of the killer, it can be entertaining, even if youâll deny it afterward.
7. Copycat (1995)
More potent than I remembered, Copycat is a genuinely well-crafted Hollywood thriller that may not reinvent the wheel but takes it out for a damn good spin. In the driverâs seat is Sigourney Weaver as Dr. Helen Hudson, a criminal psychologist who is an expert on serial killers until one follows her into the bathroom after a guest lecture. He nearly hangs her from the ceiling. Following that white-knuckled opening, the film jumps years ahead and Helen has become agoraphobic and afraid to leave her home.
Yet when a local series of murders reveal the pattern of a predator imitating the methods of his favorite âcelebritiesââone crime scene is like the Boston Strangler and another emulates the horrors of Jeffrey DahmerâHelen is pulled out of retirement by a no-nonsense detective (Holly Hunter). The winning chemistry between Weaver and Hunterâwho are refreshingly free from the studio-mandated romantic subplots in some of the other movies on this listâand the blunt force power of their performances aid this sincerely disquieting flick. A needlessly convoluted third act aside, the movie still works as a warning about the danger of fanboys a generation early.
6. Fallen (1998)
Denzel Washington appears again thanks to this clever supernatural spin on the serial killer genre. At the beginning of Fallen, Washingtonâs John Hobbes appears on top of the world. The serial killer he chased for years (Elias Koteas) is about to breathe deeply in the gas chamber. Yet after the lever is pulled, and with Koteas singing the Rolling Stonesâ âTime is On My Sideâ until his last breath, a funny thing happens: the murders continue.
In fact, more than just the killings, strangers in the street sing âTime is On My Sideâ in Hobbesâ ear, and he soon realizes that he faces a devil of a killer whose been operating since the beginningâquite literally since the villain is a demon who was once an angel that fell with Lucifer. Itâs a bizarre premise given strutting confidence thanks to Washingtonâs performance, as well as good supporting work by John Goodman and Donald Sutherland. Twenty years later and its ending still sticks with me.
5. The Exorcist III (1990)
If you havenât seen The Exorcist III, we know what youâre thinking: âReally?!â Yes. In fact, this isnât even an exorcist movie; it shouldâve been titled Legion like the 1983 novel itâs based on. Alas writer-director William Peter Blatty was forced to use the title and do reshoots that added an exorcism in the climax. Still, this supernatural thriller which involves a serial killer back from the dead is far better than it has any right to be.
Following the character of Lt. Kinderman from the 1973 masterpiece, the middle-aged gumshoe is now played by George C. Scott instead of the late Lee J. Cobb, and he possesses Scottâs usual love for contrasts between the restrained whisper and a bombastic howl. He also makes a sympathetic, secular detective forced to face the horrors of Hell when a series of murders committed against Catholic priests appear to be the work of the Gemini Killer (Brad Dourif), a serial killer whom Kinderman sent to the chair more than 10 years ago.
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The Exorcist III is a Classic and Better Than You Remember
By Jim Knipfel
Movies
The Exorcist Is Still the Scariest Movie Ever Made
By David Crow
Somehow the fiendâplus Kindermanâs long dead pal Father Damien Karras (Jason Miller)âappear to now be living in the same body of a John Doe kept in a mental asylum. With an unrelenting atmosphere of dread, palpable tension, and more of Blattyâs intellectual struggle with concepts of faith and evil, the film is more high-minded than its hacky title suggests. It also features one of the best jump scares in movie history.
4. Summer of Sam (1999)
The only movie on this list directly based on an actual serial killerâs crimes, Spike Leeâs Summer of Sam is a serious-minded joint. However, itâs only partially about the murders perpetrated by David Berkowitz, aka the â.44 Caliber Killer,â aka the Son of Sam. Rather the film focuses on the effects a serial killer has on the culture of New York City during the sweltering summer of 1977, and how it affects young lives trying to make it in the big city.
Influenced by Lee and his co-writers Michael Imperioli and Victor Colicchioâs memories of growing up in 1970s New York, the pic is a love letter to a grim moment in history when the city was about to explode with murders, blackouts, crime, and disco. All of this is digested from the vantages of Vinny (John Leguizamo), a philandering hairdresser guilt-ridden for cheating on his wife (Mira Sorvino), and his childhood pal Ritchie (Adrien Brody), whoâs left the old neighborhood behind to join the fledgling punk rock scene.
With a greater interest in how a serial killer affects the culture and institutions of a city on edge than being a traditional crime drama, Summer of Sam is a bit of a forerunner to David Fincherâs far more polished Zodiac from a few years later. With heavy-handed dialogue and a plot too big for Lee to fully get his arms around, even at 142 minutes, Summer of Sam can be uneven and messy. But it has the sweaty incorrigibility of a long night out, and of revelries half remembered like from a fever dream.
3. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
The rare serial killer movie told entirely from the perspective of the killer, Anthony Minghellaâs The Talented Mr. Ripley is disarmingly creepy. Despite its glossy awards bait sheen, there is a cold-blooded streak that runs deep to the heart of the piece, likely due to Patricia Highsmithâs source 1955 novel. Starring Matt Damon fresh off his Good Will Hunting golden boy sheen, the film uses its casting to disorient and ultimately disturb.
Like Highsmithâs book, the film is not structured like a traditional thriller. It instead favors a detached ambivalence about its seemingly nebbish hero as he agrees to become an errand boy for the rich by traveling to 1950s Italy in order to retrieve a silver spoon cad (Jude Law) for his father. But the more time Tom Ripley (Damon) spends with Lawâs Dickie Greenleaf, the more he grows envious of Dickieâs lifestyle, his wealth and confidence, and maybe even his affection for socialite Marge (Gwyneth Paltrow). There is a subtleâtoo subtle due to â90s Hollywood conventionsâhomoerotic undercurrent throughout the film as Ripley slowly works up the courage to take his first life. It wonât be his last.
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Knives Out: When Murder Makes You a Better Person
By Natalie Zutter
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Seven: The Brilliance of David Fincherâs Chase Scene
By Ryan Lambie
Highsmith wound up publishing four subsequent sequels to The Talented Mr. Ripley, but unfortunately no more were made with Damon. Perhaps because this was too unsettling for an ongoing franchise.
2. Seven (1995)
While watching David Fincherâs masterful Seven, the thing that immediately stands out is the oppressive nihilism that permeates throughout. There were decades of neo noir before this detective yarn about the hunt for a serial killer, but none demonstrated such an overbearing sense of despair before the opening credits were even concluded. And perhaps what makes it unshakable is how welcoming the film is toward bleakness; it succumbs long before the gut-punch finale.
Telling the story of an old cop days from retirement (Morgan Freeman) and a hotheaded rookie detective (Brad Pitt), Andrew Kevin Walkerâs script has an economy of pace that still impresses despite its cynicism. Very quickly one murder becomes two, then three, and soon four. Yet none of the atrocities are reveled in by Fincherâs blocking; theyâre off-screen mutilations which leave psychic damage on his two leads and, eventually, us. The deaths also quickly establish a pattern that their serial killer is targeting seven souls, each intended to embody one of the seven deadly sins.
The movie is a classic now for its climax where the killer âJohn Doeâ (a reptilian Kevin Spacey) turns himself in and leads the cops into the darkest pit, but itâs the entire package that makes this one linger more than 25 years later. At the end of the film, Somerset quotes Hemingway by saying, ââThe world is a fine place and worth fighting for.â I agree with the second part.â Iâm not convinced his film does.
1. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
As the film that kick-started the idea that serial killers could create their own film genre, The Silence of the Lambs still remains the best of its kind. Blessedly unaware that it was creating conventions for countless copycats, the film tells its psychological drama with simplicity and clarity. Whereas other films on this list bask in their bleakness, there is a dogged optimism and even perverse warmth to this Jonathan Demme adaptation of Thomas Harrisâ Silence of the Lambs novel. And thatâs of course largely attributable to the casting of Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster.
As Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Hopkins is of course monumental. Itâs a performance that turned a quinquagenarian into an overnight movie star, and became Hopkinsâ calling card as he returned to the not-so-good doctorâs well one too many times. Still, heâs undeniably enthralling as Hannibal, a cannibal psychologist with superhuman powers of observation and mental menace. Even so, Foster is often overlooked by critics for her own contributions as the FBI trainee whoâs proverbially fed to the incarcerated Lecterâa pretty face to get the serial killer to consult pro bono on the crimes of another mass murderer. Itâs just one more example of casual sexism faced by Clarice that gives Foster as much to play as Hopkins.
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Culture
David Fincherâs Zodiac: The Movie That Never Ended
By Don Kaye
Movies
The Little Things Ending Explained
By David Crow
Surrounded by the slights and prejudices of menâbe they in law enforcement or straight jacketsâClarice is constantly underestimated. She finds an intellectual rapport with Hannibal, but she pulls herself out of the darkest night, and the screaming of the lambs, without assistance. Her perseverance matched by Hannibalâs darkly seductive qualities is the juxtaposition that makes Silence of the Lambs one of the finest films of its decade.
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Slime and Punishment - deviantart
VikâTor, being an alien and all that, found himself learning new things about Earth every day. Like how it was fine for men to go topless in public but not for women, or that it was inappropriate to talk about your sexual exploits with strangers. Strange. Luckily, due to his meek personality, he managed not to embarrass himself too much.
More to the point, there were so many things from his culture that he took for granted, but humans had no knowledge of! He was the only Torran on Earth, at least as far as he knew: the rest of his tribe generally turned out to be warmongering morons, and they only took interest in visiting planets when they wanted to conquer them. Things were peaceful here, and heâd found a cozy little town that accepted him.
Now he was working odd jobs, mainly to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He was only 29 moon-strides old, after all...he had plenty of time to discover his passions. Todayâs job was filling in for a rich familyâs gardener. Apparently the man had been struck by a car and flattened like a pancake, and someone needed to take over while the doctors were reinflating him. Vik didnât mind the work: in fact he quite fancied a good day of honest labor. But, come lunch time, he was positively famished.
He tucked into a double-decker mustard and eggplant sandwich and swiftly downed a concoction of his own creation, lemonade and Bloody Mary mix. Others found his tastes revolting, but he loved finding new flavor combinations. The real star of the show, however, was dessertâŚ
âPardon me, but what is that youâre eating,â came a soft feminine voice from behind him. âI simply must know, it smells so wonderful!â Vik turned around, locking eyes with a slender young woman with caramel-colored skin. Or perhaps it was a particularly short man. He wasnât sure which, nor did he know if it even mattered.
âAh, this?â Vik remembered just in time not to talk with his mouth full, and promptly swallowed. âWe call it korrupa, it is a traditional dessert amongst the Ulvions.â He held it up: a shimmering orb of green that seemed to have a life of its own.
âOh, so thatâs what your tribe is called? Fascinating.â
âWell,â said Vik awkwardly. âNot exactly. My people conquered their planet and slaughtered all of their men.â
âOh.â
Even with his obvious lack of social skills, Vik could tell the conversation was grinding to a painful halt. âWell, the good news is that it is quite easy to get korrupa delivered. Did you know that this town has one of Earthâs only transdimensional portals?â
The short one shrugged. âIâm not surprised. Iâve lived here all my life and I learn something new about this place.â He fidgeted, looking plaintively at the glossy green glob that Vik was devouring. âDo you mind letting me have a sample of your korrupa? Iâll take just a tiny bit, but my chefâs curiosity is just eating me alive! I must have some!â
Vik paused. âWell, Missus, or Mister, or whatever Earth honorific suits you best, I donât know if you would be suited to trying some...it is quite filling, and you are quite small.â
This earned a little titter from the short one. âIâll be able to handle it, I assure you. Oh pardon my manners! I havenât even introduced myself. Camille, no Earth honorifics necessary.â Camille offered one hand out to shake, the other to take.
âI am called VikâTor...but you really must consider! It could be ill-suited to your digestive tract! Or perhaps there would be some other unforeseen consequencesâŚ!â
Camille stuck his tongue out cutely, reaching out and grabbing the korrupa. Vik realized then how tiny the Earth creature was in comparison to him; his hands were like a childâs in comparison to Vikâs own, hefting up the wobbly substance and bringing it to his tiny little mouth.
The young man moaned softly, his slender lips wrapping around the korrupa and slurping it up eagerly. Within seconds the shimmering green massâabout the size of an Earth coconutâhad disappeared down Camilleâs gullet. âOh! Pardon me,â he said sheepishly. âI didnât mean to eat it all...but it was like it had a mind of its own! Hehe. It was remarkable, though! Absolutely delicious.â
Vik looked noticeably crestfallen at the loss of his dessert but didnât bring it up. However, something that Camille had said sparked a realization inside him. âOh, you did not know? Korrupa is a sentient creature, it would be quite accurate to say that it does indeed have a mind of its own. Were you not aware of this?â
Camilleâs cheeks went noticeably green at this. âOh dear. Did I just devour an alien without knowing?â
âFear not,â said Vik, waving his hands quickly. âThey are not harmed by this. In fact, they often reproduce inside warm, damp enclosed spaces. Us Torrans have rather dry insides, so we are not affected much. But I do not know about Earth creatures...â
Said Earth creature went even greener. âOh dear...oh dear indeed.â His cheeks bulged slightly, as if about to gag. âI might have made a rather costly mistakeâŚâ But now Vik saw a truly bizarre sight: Camilleâs face starting to glow. Not from the skin directly, but almost beneath it somehow. Most prominent were his cheeksâa bright lime greenâwhich had really begun to puff up now. His lips, starting to run out of room on his face, began squashing into an askew O shape, the tiny opening revealing a growing colony of korrupa inside his mouth.
His belly began harboring the telltale green glimmer of his cheeks, the boyâs shirt quickly becoming near-translucent as the slime found a larger reservoir to reside in. Camilleâs midriff, previously so thin as almost to be famished, started to bloat rapidly. Although not quite resembling pregnancy, his stomach was now so round and fertile as to immediately invite the comparison.
Camille gave a throttled moan, the korrupa inside his mouth jiggling as words tried in vain to escape. He gave Vik a desperate look, his hands unsure whether to cradle his burgeoning belly or try and unload the cargo inside his mouth. After a slight hesitation, they chose the latter. But as his fingers tried to pry apart his lips, a thick strand of the sentient goo snaked out and slapped away his hands.
âKorrupa do not like the breeding process to be interrupted,â said Vik weakly. âAlthough they do have a vested interest in keeping their host alive, so you will not have to worry about bursting or suffocating.â Small solace to Camille, who was now bent over with the weight of his ballooning belly.
His shirt, now so tight and see-through as to be mistaken for plastic wrap, was quickly starting to lose structural integrity. The only factor impeding the growth of his gut was Camilleâs thin leather belt, now drawing taut and threatening to bisect his torso. The boy lurched forward, his hair falling over his face; if he could talk, it would undoubtedly be a deep moan of discomfort. Momentarily impeded by the belt, the korrupa moved further south to Camilleâs rump, making it expand in much a similar fashion.
âI am aware it is rude to say âI told you so,â but I did try and warn you of possible side effects,â mumbled Vik, avoiding eye contact and twiddling all four of his thumbs. âHad I known this would happen, I might have been more cautionary in my advice.â It brought him no pleasure to see this Earth creature inflate like a balloon, especially considering that korrupa could incubate for quite a while depending on compatibility with its host. Should he try and contact other family members? He knew theyâd be around soon; would it look worse if he left Camille? Or if he just stayed there passively? There wasnât much he could do at this point anyway.
Ping! The belt popped off, sending Camilleâs belly wobbling like a bowl full of jelly. It might be mistaken for jelly at any rate: glossy, jiggling jelly that had an unearthly shine to it. It was a near perfect orb of green, only dimpled by his sunken-in navel, hanging off his torso rather awkwardly. It had become so big and distended by this point that it hardly seemed like an actual part of the young man, like a second-rate prosthetic. But there it was in both sets of his cheeks too, drawing his skin tight as more and more goo forced itself inside him. His face had become comically wide, two coconut-sized mounds of glistening green alternatively pulling his lips together and apart as they bounced softly. His behind was starting to catch up, though, his buttocks blimping up and making short work of his shorts.
Camille was short, even for a human, but nonetheless it was a surprise to see his tummy touch the ground. It was certainly less of a strain on his body now that gravity had done its work, but nonetheless he wasnât exactly happy heâd gotten this big. His rear had already broken free from his shorts; but since Camilleâs crotch was awkwardly mashed against his underbelly, his dignity was somewhat preserved. Were things slowing down? He was so enormous now that it was hard to tell.
Vik, having inwardly cursed himself for his inaction, decided to finally take off his upper garment and lay it across the boyâs bare butt. However, one last growth spurt caused the fabric to suck inwards, instantly getting lost inside the cleft of Camilleâs ass cheeks. Well, he had tried. The young man could only sit there helplessly, the weight of his posterior threatening to pull him backwards, only anchored by his much larger stomach. Vik didnât know every detail of domicile etiquette, but he was pretty sure it wasnât a good idea to be standing near-naked in your backyard.
âWell...I should probably get back to work,â said the alien awkwardly, slowly shuffling away. âI hear your family has a dinner party tonight...it would certainly be embarrassing if the garden was only half-finished.â
And, seemingly unaware of the supreme irony of that statement, went back to planting the petunias. Maybe Camille would share some korrupa once he was done breeding it...
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Title: Formulaic WC: 900
âSo you got a story to explain all of this?â â Kate Beckett, Cuffed (4 x 10)
This is a soap opera scenario if heâs ever seen one. They have woken up in an apparently compromising position, in an almost literal dungeon with one filthy mattress and a mysterious freeze that weighs a million pounds, handcuffs and needle marks and an Act II hatch, high up in the ceiling. Itâs pure soap opera. In fact, heâs not sure that his mother hadnât lived through this exact scenarioâpossibility multiple timesâback during her Temptation Lane days.Â
Itâs fairly unnerving, which is strange. He would have thought that the camp of the genreâits warm familiarity, given its association with his first novelâwould lighten the mood a little, but no. He knows the dramatic beats a little too well and though he kicks around the idea of playing Criswell every Halloween, he does not, in the real world as it turns out, enjoy knowing that the freezer, once they finally get it open, will yield something disturbing. He does not enjoy knowing with absolute certainty that the hatch will promise escape at least an act too early for there not to be a nasty surprise on the other side of it.Â
But he does know these things, beat by beat, and like clockwork, the freezer yields chains and manacles and bloody knives. Like clockworkâ after a required-by-law comic relief interlude where various parts of her body are all in his face, and each and every one really ought to require that she buy him dinner firstâsome bald, creepy tough is cackling wordlessly down at them. He can practically hear the cackles superimposed on one another, the creepy tough and the old woman in the cage, who by soap opera law must absolutely be in on whatever plot this.
That twist, which surely wonât be revealed until the very end of the episode at the very soonest, is the end of his prognosticatory road. Heâs sort of out of dramatic beats by the time the hatch slams shut with deadly finality and the two of them land with a squawk and a thump on their backs on the filthy mattress. With the wind knocked out of him and his spine calling its lawyer preparatory to suing hm for everything he is worth, he canât think what the next complication will be.Â
He canât think, but of course he doesnât have to. The next complication is obvious. This is a soap opera scenario. The two of them are handcuffed to one another, and they are facing all-but certain death. Whatâs more, theyâve been bickering incessantly as though driven to it by an unseen narrative spirit. They are the duo who loathed one another at first sight. They are the exes who have been in a bitter feud since they split.Â
They are the bitter enemies who radiate sexual tension, and they are doomedâabsolutely doomedâto a passionate kiss and who knows what else on that filthy mattress in that almost literal dungeon. They are doomed to sultry saxophones punctuating this turn of events as the station cuts to a commercial break.Â
All of this becomes clear to him as he waits for the breath re-entering his body to stop being made entirely of knives. He is, to say the least, not averse to this inevitable turn In their one-hundred per cent opera drama, though heâd prefer a mattress of the non-filthy variety and cuffs that lean to the more recreational end of the spectrum. Heâd prefer a nice sturdy bed post, his or hers, heâs not at all picky.Â
He would strongly prefer to be staring deeply into her eyes, knife-free breath heaving in his chest, getting ready for his close-up. He would very much prefer not to be contemplating the awkward logistics of a cashmere turtleneck and a button-down shirt bunching between their wrists and dangling from one sleeve.Â
Heâd like to inhabit fully the mind and soul of that soap opera leading man right now. Heâd like to know the freedom that comes with not wondering what terrible dramatic beat will put an end to the kiss and all that follows. He would like toâright nowâkiss her hard enough that his mind blanks out, and hers does too.Â
But heâs not a soap opera leading man, and actually they are not sworn enemies, the bitter exes, the hate-at-first-sight duoâexcept, okay, maybe she likes to pretend that she hated him at first sight, but she was charmed. Even Baby Beckett with her scowl and her chopped-short hair was charmed.Â
Thereâs a moment when he rolls toward her on the mattress and he smiles so wide that it makes her frown. It makes her voice do  that gravely thing thatâs dead sexy, and this is pretty confusing. He is very much in favor of making outâfilthy mattress not withstandingâbut it brightens up this almost-literal dungeon considerably to think that the reason theyâre not making out under soap opera law.
The reason sheâs not about to pull back from the kiss, slap him hard, then launch herself at him again is because she likes him too much. He likes her, and who cares if theyâve been bickering the whole time? She likes him. He loves her. And soap opera law, for good or for ill, has no power here.Â
A/N: Meta fiction. Not a thing. Nope. Not.Â
images via homeofthenutty
#Castle#Caskett#Castle:Â Season 4#Castle: Cuffed#Kate Beckett#Richard Castle#Fic#Fanfic#Fanfiction#Fan Fic#Fan Fiction#Writiing#interrogatives?
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Follow the Beacon RavenâStrictly Girl Time
[Link to Masterpost]
[Get in loser weâre going shopping (jk I love you all)]
"This oneâs nice, but the redâs a little bright," Summer said, waving a sleeve in Ravenâs face.
She backed away on reflex and swatted at it. "What are you doing?"
"Checking the color against your eyes. Ooh, this oneâs not bad," Summer said, lifting one in a darker shade from the rackâthough it had some ugly green ruffles along the cuffs and hem. "The lace wouldnât be too difficult to pick off, and then we could put on some black trim instead. Unless youâd rather have black for the main color and use red for accents? Thereâs always lots of options in black."
"Um⌠I think Iâd prefer long sleeves," she said, eyeing the dressâs thin straps. Gauntlets covered her brand most of the time, or the long-sleeved Beacon uniform, but either of those would be out of place at a party.
"Letâs look at black, then," Summer said, replacing the dress on the rack and rifling through the others. "I donât see anything over here."
"...Why did you learn to sew?" Raven asked, following her down the aisle. From what sheâd gathered, most students shared Taiâs attitude toward the skillâand then there was Summer, who could rival a lot of small townsâ tailors. She almost hated to admit it, but Summer was probably a little better with making new things, even if Raven was far more experienced with repair.
"The first year after we moved to Vale was hard. Dad had just died, and I couldnât talk to any of my old friendsâŚ" she went quiet for a moment, hands hesitating on the fabric. "And we were living at Signal with our uncles while we looked for a house. Momâs family made armor, so she grew up sewing. We made my Halloween costume together that yearâshe was trying to make me feel better, and help me get used to Vale since it was so different, and it just⌠we got a lot closer." Summer looked back up, beaming. "Halloweenâs been my favorite holiday ever since!"
"Thatâs nice," Raven said, inspecting one dress that had good sleeves, but the gold applique on the waist looked too difficult to remove so she put it back. "We only learned so we could fix things. But itâs probably more fun when youâre not doing everything by hand."
"Ooh, what about this one?!" Summer demanded, holding up a long, flowing gown. It was fairly plain but the fabric was good quality. "It's practically a blank canvas!"
"I'll try it on and make sure it's big enough."
"I'll see if there's any curtains or skirts in your red we can take apart," Summer cackled, speeding out of the row.
Raven let her face slide back to neutral as the Huntress vanished. She still hadn't said anything about that nightâbut she would, there was no question. Raven had never seen her so angry.
The fitting room door creaked as she pulled it closed and slid the flimsy latch into place.
What did Summer expect from her? Qrow would know what to doâthis all came so naturally to him. Talking to the teachers. Joining in Summer and Tai's jokes. Raven only felt lost.
If they got caught it would be her fault.
If they died it would be her fault.
The dress slid easily over her head, hanging loose on her shoulders as she tugged the skirt down over her pants. It was a little too bigâperfect for alteringâand the sleeves were form-fitting enough to hide her wrist. It would have to be enough.
"Raven?"
"Here." She didn't give herself time to think about it and headed back out into the store.
Summer beamed. Red spilled from her armsâshe'd found the curtains she hoped for. "Do you like it?"
"Umâ" Raven glanced down at her arms. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind. But the style was simple and elegant, and the silky fabric draped in a way that wasâŚwell, dramatic, fluttering around her ankles when she moved. "Yes. I do."
Summer squeaked happily, clapping awkwardly but excitedly around the bundle. "Perfect! That was easy. Change back and let's grab something to eat, I'm starving."
Raven nodded, retreating back into the little stall. It was a nice dress⌠and it would be good to have something in her own colors. The armor that Beacon let her commission was the best clothing she had ever owned. And probably worth more than everything she'd ever stolen.
Most Branwens wore raided farmers' clothing, and that went double for the children. No point in making something better for someone who would grow out of it in a year.
She pulled her hair out from under her collar and finished tugging her shirt into place, staring at the dress hanging from the back of the door. Someone in Vale had thrown it away, basically. Something richer than Raven ever had before entering the Academy. She'd never thought of the tribe as poor, but now the idea sat as out of place in her mind as a parrot in a snowstorm.
"Come on," Summer said eagerly, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the line for the cashier. "Any ideas how you want to spruce it up?"
Raven stared at the dark silk in her hands. The Huntress had to be doing this for a reason, and she couldn't stand the waiting anymore. "Is this about Qrow?"
"Nah, I wouldn't ask him to wear a skirt again."
"...You know what I mean." Her fury that night, shoving Raven away from her brother. Sitting with him until they both fell asleep in each other's arms. She didn't really think either of them had done anything, but it still⌠felt like it meant⌠something.
What if it meant he wouldn't need her anymore?
Summer's brightness dimmed slightly, to a more manageable level. "âŚNo, it's not about Qrow. It's about you."
Finally. They could get it over with.
"Yeah, see? That's what I mean. You hate me." She frowned, reconsidering for a moment. "...Or you hate everyone and I'm just next to you. I don't think I've ever seen you talk to someone who's not on our teamâŚ"
"IâI don'tâ"
"Raven, you don't have to like me," Summer said. That was⌠unexpected. "But we need to be able to work together and we can't do that if we're always at each other's throats. ...I'm the team leader, I'm responsible for making sure the three of you are okay. I just⌠I need to understand you better. What⌠what do you really think about me?"
About Summer? She was a Huntress. Completely at home in battle and fearless of flying in ways that made Raven feel ill just to think about. There was fire inside herâthe same roaring blaze Bones had, and that Raven and Vanta could only ever hope to imitate. She was flawless strength. A forceful leader. Everything Raven wished she could be.
And yet, she coddled a man while he cowered and cried because of a dream.
"I don'tâŚ" Raven scowled at the dirty white flooring, trying to find words for the frustration. "I can't understand you. So many people in our class have never even left the citiesâthey have no idea what the world is like, but⌠you do. You've lost people. Lost your home. You've lived at the edge of the wild and at least have the sense to understand that there are things you don't know, things you haven't seen. And yet you still⌠you still hold onto childish things. Like the comics." She looked back at the Huntress's face. "I don't get it. What good is that fantasy?"
"I know the world is dark and horrible." Summer stared her square in the eye. "I'm going to make it better."
Raven snorted, without thinking. "What makes you think you can fix the world?"
"I didn't say fix." The words were as unyielding as her stance. "As long as we have Choice, some people are going to make bad onesâbut I'm not going to stand on the sidelines and watch it happen. I'm going to make things better."
"...and the comics?"
"Gotta know what I'm aiming for. And, y'know, it's fun."
"But you'll never win."
"Well, all the best goals are unattainable."
Raven blinked. "âŚHuh?"
"I'll never be the best Huntress on Remnant, but I'll be better for trying. We can't eradicate the Grimm but we can't stop fighting. Nothing will ever be perfectâbut that's not an excuse to give up. It's the reason that we can't."
Raven's hands tightened on the fabric as her gaze slid back to the floor. "...I don't think things can get better."
"But they have!" Summer said, surprised. "Look at what humanity has done in the past sixty years! The four Kingdoms are working together, fighting the Grimm instead of each other. You know two years ago had the lowest number of Grimm fatalities in recorded history? People are living longer. There's less hunger. Things are slowly improving between humans and the faunus. Child mortality is the lowest it's ever been. We're eradicating diseasesâeverything has gotten better."
The cashier beckoned them forward, and Raven set the dress on the counter while Summer handed over a few Lien. "...You didn't... really want to become a huntress, did you," she murmured. "You came here because of Qrow."
There wasn't a reason to lie. "...Yes."
"Well⌠what would you do? If you could do anything you wanted, what would you be?"
Anything? She'd get out of this den of lions and go back where she belonged, with Qrow and Vanta and Bones, where she was free and powerful, with the promise that one day they would lead their people.
But Bones was dead. Their only way forward was to kill Vanta. And QrowâŚ
"I can't do whatever I want," Raven said. "That's not how the world works."
Summer snorted. "And that's not how the game works. Come onâyou're both safe no matter what you choose. You can go anywhere in the world and do anything you want. Even if it sounds silly." She scanned around the store, looking for something, and her eyes fell on a poster. "You could be a, a movie star! Or a Councilwoman!"
A Councilwoman. Raven nearly laughedâwouldn't that be rich.
"Okay, okay, I get it," Summer said, accepting their bag and thanking the cashier. "What about a teacher, like Professor MesĂĄnychtaâyou like working with her, right? Orâoh, or a sailor! You could work on boats and see the world. And they're always hiring Huntsmen for protection, Qrow could go with you." beat "Being a Huntress or a farmer aren't your only choices."
...It had been nice. The salt smell of the ocean. Wind strong enough to make her feel like she was flying, without the sick twist in her stomach. Nothing on the horizon to hide attackers and some kind of Dust machinery scanning for Grimm below.
But no. The tribeâher familyâneeded her. She'd go home.
Wouldn't she?
"I don't know," Raven said, praying it was a lie. "...What about you?"
"Me? IâI've always wanted to be a Huntress. IâŚ" her voice trailed off, brow furrowing. "...I'd go back to Anima and visit my dad."
"The⌠one that died?"
Summer snorted, but somehow in a way that didn't make Raven feel stupid. "No, the one that can fly and shoot lasers from his eyes."
How did she always do that? No matter what she said it never felt like an accusation. "I⌠I meant⌠why haven't you?"
"Mom always said it wasn't safe." She glared at her knees, hands tightening on the bag. "I guess⌠I guess I always knew someone killed him. I just didn't want to believe it."
Gods, what was she supposed to say? People weren't supposed to talk about the dead. "...I'm sorry."
"You two don't talk about family besides each other. ...Did you ever⌠get to meet your parents?"
"We knew our father." Raven answered, but the Huntress seemed to expect more. "He⌠started our training. Before the Huntsman. ...He was good to us."
"Let's write them letters."
Raven was startled enough to meet her eye. "Huh?"
"Since Mom and I can't visit him we both write him letters instead, and burn them so they'll reach the afterlife." Summer dug the receipt out of the bag and tore it in half, leaving two hand's length pieces. "I promise it helps. Hereâ" she grabbed a couple pens from the basket next to the register and passed one to Raven along with half the paper.
"Butâ"
Summer grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the furniture section near the front window, plopping down on a little couch and dragging Raven with her.
But it was stupid to talk to someone who couldn't talk back, and weakness that she still wanted to. "...I wouldn't know what to say."
"Just tell him you miss him," she said, spreading out her scrap on the short table placed between the rows of seats and beginning to write.
Raven stared down at the pen. This was objectively pointless.
Helloâ she hesitated for half a moment, but no. It was too strange. âBones. The words were tiny, too small for Summer to read over her shoulder. I miss you. I know it makes me weak. I don't want to stay in this place. Her eyes stung. They're going to kill Qrow and it's going to be my fault because I can't pretend to be one of them. I don't understand them. I don't understand him anymore either. He wants to die. It hurt when you died. It hurt so much I can still feel it burning sometimes. I wanted to learn from you and not Huntresses. If I tell Qrow how to control the tribe then he won't need me anymore. If I stay here they'll kill me. Did it hurt when yo
Raven gritted her teeth, resisting the urge to throw the pen aside and leave. This was stupidâshe sounded like a frightened child.
Something brushed her shoulder and she recoiled, but the Huntress pulled her into an embrace anyway.
Next Chapter: TaiyangâA Glass of Punch
#rwby#strq#team strq#raven branwen#summer rose#qrow branwen#taiyang xiao long#bones branwen#sterling rose#vanta branwen#claret rose#rwby fanfiction#rwby rosebird#follow the beacon
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Top 10 Regular Show Episodes
Close Enough is Close! 2 more days and a show iâve waited without hyperbole years for will finally land offically. While iâve seen three episodes preelease, one because of a french film festival the other two because HBO made an oopsie, and itâs more than likely iâll be seeing those episodes again thursday, it dosenât make it any less special, as with an offical release comes the fandom finally becoming a thing and the ablility to watch the episodes over and over again.. on computer till HBO gets itâs shit together but still. ITâs a great time. And my hype for the show made me revisit itâs big brother: Regular Show. Created by what would happen if you condesned california into a person, JG Quintel, Regular Show, as you all damn well know but I like doing anyway so as rigby would say, STOP TALKING, was about two slackers and best bros: Laidback hipster and hurricane when it came to talking to women, Mordecai and Rigby a high strung, idiotic, impulsive, and frequently angry racoon who worked, when they absolutley had to, at a park. Joining them at the park were their coworkers and later closest friends: Benson, their constnatly angry boss who constnatly belts out empty threats to fire them and has a rather sad personal life, Skips, a centuries old yeti whose literally seen it all and despenses advice for the duo and is voiced by everyoneâs faviorite grandpa/jedi/murder clown Mark Hamill, Muscle Man, a grotesque blob of a man who likes  âMy momâ jokes and breaking things, Hi Five Ghost, Muscle Manâs sidekick who got like.. one episode focusing on him alone over 8 seasons moving on, and Pops, an odd but unfailingly sweet and kind vicotrian era gentleman whose also basically immortal and is Bensonsâ boss in name only. The Park Crew spend their days working, or in our main duoâs case trying to get out of work to do anything else, while dealing with every day issues that would quickly ballon into insanity. Getting pops a birthday present of Fuzzy Dice from a local pizza place ended up with the crew having to fight a bunch of anamatonic animals that were stashing diamonds in there. Trying to get concert tickets involved getting caffine from the nipples of a giant sentient coffee bean in order to stay awake long enough to do the extra work. And Mordecai trying to delete an embrarassing message off his crush Margretâs voice mail lead to him and rigby getting hauled in front of a bunch of a message guardians, one of which is a sentient smoke signal that wanted to burn them while the other replied with âweâree not going to burn them when have we ever burned anybodyâ... I love and miss those guys. Oh and itâs resolved by having to playt he embarassing song he sang while said message beings groove to it then ask him to colaberate with them on their album. THis show was on all the drugs and I am all the hear for it. I could go all day obviously but this section is long enough as is, letâs move on.Â
Regular Show came at JUST the right time for Cartoon Netowork: Similar to how the 80s doom patrol comic started off really bland and cookie cutter and not at all doom patrol and then grant morrison came in, had hte previous writer kill almost everything, then rebuilt it from scratch with crazy, CN had few shows left and was coming off a really terrible attempt at competeing with NIck and Disney Channelâs live action dommance with a bunch of dude broy reality shows and other ill conceved ideas. The network had a few shows, Total Drama, The Clone Wars which got better and I need to watch those better seasons at some point, but they werenât enough to make the network thrive again. SO enter adventure time and regular show: BOth were creative, funny , a bit rough around the ages, and kind of nuts, but both were massive hits: The shows hit almost every demographics sweet spots: Kids like the bright colors, fun designs, and insanity, teens loved the edgy bits of the humor and also the insanity and 20 somethings and older both found refrences they got and loved, and well.. insanity. I mean being fucking nuts but also wonderful is kind of the watchword for most animation nowadays. While in the past in my own head iâve played down Regular Showâs part in things, after all it came second and had a rough patch I told myself.. but I was wrong. Both shows had a lot of the same elements; insane stuff, great voice acting and good humor especially as they evolved.. but both also evolved in largely the same way and that way helped change animation for the next decade: Both, despite being comeidies, regular show keeping to it a bit more than adventure time did as they evolved, had the characters grow, something a lot of animated comedies didnât do as much ast the time, even the good ones. THey had season long arcs, things that are now standard features in most cartoons for good reason were MADE standard by these shows. Itâs just regular showâs legacy got diluted by shows that TRIED to copy it but both failed to see that it grew past season one or that itâs being okay for kids but really based in adult life and problems meant copycats like fanboy and chum chum, sanjay and craig and breadwinners, all thankfully long dead, eventually sputtered out and died. That and Nick is REALLY shitty at maintaing shows or treating creators with anything resembling respect. Somehow Teen Titans Go is still alive despite having similar failings but you canât win everything. It didnât help gravity falls came along right after and proceded to be even more influentail than both of these shows. Hmmm I just realized I havenât done any gravity falls reviews here.. I gotta get on that. But while the show got eclipsed in quality and popularity I do still think it holds up for the most part as funny, charming and with , for the most part, good character arcs, itâs just that a bit of incosntientcy, some abrubtly done actions and a REALLY fucking terrible arc in season 6 dull the show a bit in comparison to what came after, but I do realize now itâs still worht watching, remembering and laughing at. It may of not been the greatest, but damn it was good. So with my nostaliga for the show popping up, my faith in it restored, and itâs sucessor showing up in a few days, I decided to do a little something for the ocassion. I WAS going to do a full on review, but had troulbe finding an episode as some of my faviorites are part of a larger arc that was hurt by a later arc, and the show ping ponged between slice of life and utter insanity enought hat it was hard to peg down to jus tone or two episodes. So while I WILL review the show eventually, it has both good and bad episodes needing it, I decided instead to dig out something I hadnât done in far too long: a top whatver lists! Now while I do get these things are clickbaity, because they are, I.. honestly just love making them. Even if iâts not for any specific purpose I just love ranking, the stress, even if I normally hate stress given my anxiety, of trying to narrow them down, and the satisfaction of taking a ton of episodes and melting htem down into the best of them. And with a show as long and varied as regular show, If igured this was the best way to show it off before I dived into it eventually. Iâll obviously be doing more top, and bottom lists in the future, but for now this seemd like a godo place to get back to it. As Now a few more things before we finally get started. Yes I know iâve gone on for a few years now but iâm almost done. This list is obviously, my opinon. If you disagree fine, and feel free to comment or shoot me an ask about it but I stand by my list and what I choose. I had to boil down over 60 episodes I picked to possibly be on the list and even after it was down to 40 cuts were really difficult, .. Also just as a quick note there are no episodes from seasons 1, 6, 7 and 8, and thatâs not on purpose, as the last two seasons are really good, it just fell out that way and iâm sorry about it. So with that out of the way grabs some sodas and wings, get out your maxi gloves, and bring out your best sentient earworms wearing sunglassses, after the cut I count down the top 10 Regular Show episodes. OOOOOOOOO!
10. I Like You, Hi (Season 5, Episode 26) As youâll be able to tell by the rest of this list Season 5 is my faviorite, and itâs where I feel the series hit itâs peak before next season lead to itâs valley. Itâs got a ton of great episodes, as this list will attest, some great character development, and was still really damn funny. But what put it over the top for me was the Mordecai and CJ arc. At the end of the last season as you probably know the show wrote out Margret, having her finally get into college like sheâd wanted since she got an actual character back in âCamping Be Coolâ instead of just being âthat hot girl mordecai really likes but is too scared to persueâ, and another fantastic episode weâll be getting to, Mordecai was in position to move on. Re-Enter CJ. CJ was introduced earlier in the season 3 ep âYes Dude Yesâ which itself is really good, where Mordecai thought margret was engaged and with Rigbyâs encouragment, ended up meeting CJ, stands for Cloudy Jay if your curious, a sentient cloud voiced by the wonderful LInda Cardenelli, aka wendy from gravity falls and currently co star of the equally wonderful show Dead to Me. Seriously go check it out on netflix, itâs really good. It naturally went pearshaped since Margret wasnât engaged, he tried going out with both, she turned into a thunderstorm out of rage... as you do.. itâs like the season 6 plot but less infurating and more understandable. But the two remeet, and had a kiss on new years while not knowing itâs the other person under am ask.. and then CJ ran and both thought the other was upset: MOrdecai for him being MOrdecai, and CJ for running out on him and agreed to be friends. That didnât last, though it did give us another classic on this list, as while exes can be friends and all, the two still had something between them. Thus came this one. And it was a hard one as it barely inched out the finale of their relationship arc, Real Date, which had the ceo of a dating company try to break them up and be really damny funny but itâs ulitmatley this one being just as hilarious while being a great character piece that gets it the rub. As the episode opens Mordecai and CJ have been spending a LOT of time together and iâts clear thereâs a spark there.. but Mordecai insists itâs platonic. And yes there is a bad habit of animation being unable to accept females and males who are into the oppistie sex canât be friends without being attracted to each other. Itâs being cleared up more lately, but as Star Vs showed it still happens sometimes. But it works here: The two STARTED with dating, made out on new years, and are attracted to each other itâs just clear both were in denial about it. Itâs not saying âwell they have chemstiry so fuck their partnersâ like star vs or âif you loved someone once those feelings will return and destroy yoru current relationshipâ like next season.... season 6â˛s arc is a tirefire burn it. But the issue is forced when, while texting about an extreme baking show together while CJâs at her job at a sports bar, it autocrrects from Yuji, the showâs host, to you hi, sending the title message âI like you, hiâ. Mordecai, being even less adept with his feelings and anxiety towards women than me and trust me thatâs saying something, spirals and we do get the episodes best scene, narrowly beating out itâs climax, where Mordecai summons a war council.. aka the rest of the main cast minus benson but plus Thomas, the intern who I wish stuck around longer even after he turned out to be a russian spy because they ran out of ideas for him, voiced by Roger Craig Smith and distractingly using his future sonic voice.Â
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I just.. love everything about the scnee. From the term pulling a mordecai, to Rigby joining in, deservedly as heâs had front row seats for a lot of this bollocks, to everyoneâs suggestions especially Muscle Manâs half assed one that somehow, but unsuprisngly, works for him and Starla. Naturally Mordecai comes up with what Rigby HIMSELF admits is a Rigby level half assed scheme to get an actual photo with Yuji rather than just admit the truth. Yuji himself is an utter delight, having had his star not rise as fast as heâd like thanks to autocorrect and being entirely on board, and when it backfires as MOrdecai ends up autocorrected and sends the message thrice and gets sucked into the phone again, admits iâts âpretty extremeâ. I love the guy and iâm prety sure he showed up again, to my delight.Â
In the phone Mordecai meets some old friends, the message guardians who I mentioned in the âinsane shit this show has doneâ bit earlier: old forms of messaging who police texting, all voiced by Rich Fulcher of the Mighty Boosh and Snuffbox Fame.Â
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I love Rich and wish these guys could show up in close enough. Maybe they can, I donât know how rights issues with turner properties work when it comes to two diffrent audiences entirely. Anyways what really makes the episode, besides the great callbacks in this scene, is when confronted with everything going on, Mordecai.. tries to run into the void, with Rigby, The Message Recorder and the Smoke Signal all encouraging him to come back. âThereâs nothing out there for you, literally itâs just a blank voidâ. With the leading tape recorder pointing out from their text history not only how great CJ is but how much he seems to like her with Mordecai finally coming back and admitting the obvious: He does like her.. heâs just scared of beefing it again. Which he does but thatâs not the point. Rigby, who as part of his character development helps Mordecai quite a bit with this stuff by being a neutral party, though he also likes CJ better than Margret which is a mood even though I donât care which one you ship mordecai with frankly, you do you, I have my prefrences. And with that Mordecai finally texts her and asks her out, with her accepting via winky face.. with an added text to clarify it for his neuotic ass.. which is also a mood as my neuortic ass could use that a lot. Overall just a wonderful , hilarious and good bit of character growth.. that season 6 throws in the oven, but thatâs a long rant for another day. On itâs own, âI LIke you, hiâ is a good character piece for mordecai whlie still being really damn funny.Â
9. Thanksgiving Special (Season 5, Episode 15)
Regular Show was really damn great at holliday specials. Their terror tales from the park every halloween were always a nice treat and a good replacement for Simpsons âTreehouse of Horrorâ which still exists, itâs just no one cares at this point, and their christmas and new years episodes are both really damn good, the first Christmas Episode being in contention for this list even. But to me the best of the best was easily Season 5â˛s thanksgiving episode.Â
The premise is simple: Mordecai and Rigby accidnetly destroy thanksgiving dinner, which the park crew is having for everyone and their famllies and, refusing to take Benson trying to dismiss their attempts to help fix their mistake, end up joining a songwriting contest to try and win a Turducken.. a natural one thatâs born every 1000 Years because this is regular show. To do this they have to beat a parody of everyoneâs least faviorite president Donald Trump, Rich Buckner. The fact that trump was basically the main villian of a holliday special a year before he became president is not lost on me and is one of the most accurate depections of the man iâve ever seen. The fact Rich steals the prize despite our boys winning from his blimp with a grappling hook is peak trump. The fact Trump hasânt stolen more things with a grappling hook in real life is only because his hands are too small to use one.Â
Getting past our president for my own sanity, the episode also has really great subplots: Muscle Man and Fives go to a sports bar to get sides and end up pissing off a former football player and getting into a touchdown dance comppetition, sadly not set to the super bowl shuffle, while Benson, Pops and Skips go to get a turkey and end up fighting over it with men dressed up like a piligrim, a first thanksgiving era native american and a turkey, to which they donât even really give an explination for.. granted most explinatoins on this show are insane but even by regular show standards, this gets none. And I love it for it. While as you can tell the episode is really damn funny, what really sells it is the emotional core: For once while they do fear for their jobs a bit Mordecai and Rigbyâs main motivation in this messup is genuine guilt and wanting to fix their mistake, and they work hard at it, even giving a genuine and awesome heartfelt song that notches itself up with other thanksgiving classics âThat thankstiginv themed soul sketch on snlâ and adam sandlerâs turkey song also from snl. Not a high bar but itâs really good regardless
The episodesâ real strength though is itâs emotional core: For once instead of saving their own asses or understadnably wanting to get one over on the cranky and in the worse written episodes obnoxiously overbearing benson, they simply feel terrible about possibly runing the meal for their arriving parents and everyone elses parents and families and their friends and work to right the wrong. Itâs not the first time they worked to do something genuinely good with no benefit to themselves, but itâs probably the best and Bensonâs I forgive you, while hilarious is also really sweet. And speaking of sweet
It ends on a really sweet and touching note, as Mordecai and Rigby, after escaping a blimp via a wish on a golden wishbone because of course, make it home to find the various weirdos the park crew met have brought them thanksgiving, and their parents will be there and we get a nice touching ending as the main duo get a well earned toast from Benson. Just an out and out amazing thanksgiving special and a good reminder of what the holiday means.
8. Trucker Hall of Fame (Season 3, Episode 37)
Moving on from Season 5 for a second, Season 3 was where the show really started to hit itâs stride to me. While Season 2 was a nice increase in quality from the sometimes choppy and heavy on âeveryone is an assholeâ comedy season 1, Season 3 was where the increased focus on the rest of the cast outside of our main duo balloned and what seeds of character were planted in season 2 beautifully bloomed. And this episode is one of the best examples of that. This one focuses on Muscle Man, who earlier on was basically the main duoâs rival alongside his buddy high five ghost, and kind of a dick. While âKind of a dickâ never left any discription of Mitch Sorenstein, this and previous episode muscle woman showed there was more to the goblin man than we thought. Itâs also one of regular showâs few early mostly serious episodes and unlike the benson ones, again this list was tough donât come at me with a machete, and realy showed why muscle man is the human tire fire he is. The episode introduces, and quickly kills off, muscle dad, mitchâs dad who gave him a love of pranks and was a truck driver who died as he live: mistaking a fake bear for a real one during a prank. Muscle Man being not the most stable person on a GOOD day, spirals, as seen above, and Benson tasks mordecai and rigby, since Fives isnât good with death ironically and isnât holding up much better, and as a much later episode shows the two became besties in high school so he probably knew muscle dad for a good ten years so heâs probably not in a great place either, nice stuff, to go with him to put his dadâs ashes in the trucker hall of fame. What follows is a sweet and damn sad episode. While Mitchâs frequent breakkdowns can be hilarous their also really sad and having lost my grandpa since this episode aired, I can relate to being fine one minute and a total shrieking wreck the next over the smallest thing. But it also shows that Mitch genuinely thinks of our main duo as his friends, and that beneath his testorrone positned exterior heâs a decent guy, being genuinely greatful. Of course being regular show the 3 end up squaring off with some truckers, while Mitch also grappels with the revelation his dad wasnât one but a forklift opperator who faked being a trucker for his sonâs benifit and dleft a tender note in his picture, figuring correctly his son would break it open when he found out... oh and because this show is still nuts his ghost ends up saving them at the end which is really sweet , as mitch decides trucker or no his ashes deserve to be there. Also his ghost shows up again at thanksgiving so apparently he can just come back once in a while, which is nice but dosenât demnish the bittersweet feeling of this ep. And as I said the show has a good grasp on continuity as this ep marked a turning point for our main duo and muscle man: while theâyve bonded before after this, aside from mitchâs habit of christmas pranks and his faking his death, they really donât nearly get as annoyed by him ever again. iâts a sweet touching ride thaâts uncharacristic of the showâs usual chaos but really works.Â
7. A Bunch of Full Grown Geese (Season 4, Episode 19) After a few episodes that were more sentimental on this list, itâs good to get back to some good old regular show madness for this one, which was also the series 100th in production order and is a worthy milestone episode. Season 4 was really good building on the good will from Season 3 and FINALLY having payoff to the margret and mordecai thing, more on that in a bit. Not as much to say as seasons 3 or 5, but it was still spectacular. The sequel to another ep, fittingly given itâs #100, full grown geese has our duo tasked with removing a bunch of obnoxious geese, with Benson in dick mode refusing to give the two more help, though it does lead to one of the showâs best scenes when he gives his usual your fried threat.. and fitting a milestone episode, Rigby calls him on never going through with it and the threat being as empty as my dreams. Benson responds by going nuts and angrishing them out of his office.. really funny. But yeah with the geese attacking them and , in their first attacking, poor pops, and no way to combat them, the two turn to the baby ducks, a bunch of baby ducks from the episode titled that who show up to help.. and this being the 100th episode of an already grant morrison level nuts show, it turns out the geese seek to conquer earth, voiced by david warner of course and have laser eyes.. and can combine. And the ducks do so again, mecha style, and add in our heroes and a bunch of call backs in one of the series best and most batshit sequences> The ending is also throughly satisfying as while our heroes win, Benson chews them out for tearing up the park in the process.. only for the ducks mom to call him out for not only yelling at the ducks, who are just kids, but at mordecai and rigby after they just saved the park from being a smoldering crater and not just trashed and he backs off. Just a fun episode where the crew just went nuts and the results speak for themselves.Â
6. This is My Jam (Season 2, Episode 13)
Now this one I couldnât NOT include. This is one of the series best even after itâs immense growth, and a beloved classic for a reason. And like the above itâs a good classic case of regular show hyjinks while also being relatable this time: Rigby gets a brainless but catchy pop song from the 90â˛s stuck in his head and despite growing to hate it, and Mordecai hating it because this episode establishes him as a hipster, and seemingly exercises it.. only for it to manifest as a GIANT CASETTE WEARING SUNGLASSES THAT PLAYS THE SONG JUST BY EXISTING AND DANCES CONSTANTLY. itâs utterly glorious and used to great effect, also annoying benson because heâs constnatly annoyed. To beat it the main duo get the rest of the parkâs help at Skips suggestion to form a band and craft an even BIGGER earworm to cast it out. Oh and thereâs a great scene where Pops is forced to awkwardly dance with the incarnation of the 90â˛s âBut I wonât use my best movesâ. The climax also has one of Bensonâs best moments as, after heâs irritated all episode, he comes in hot, with both the cast and audience expecting him to chew out mordecai and rigby.. only heâs mad because they forgot drums are key to an earworm and saves the day with his drumwork. Itâs a great subversion and one of the first times Benson was more than just the angry but understandable, at times, dickhead boss. Just an utter standout and one of the showâs most memorable episodes for a reason. Also the line âyou canât touch music but music can touch youâ is great.Â
5. Meteor Moves ( Season 4, Episode 28)
This one was a long time coming and to me is a great example of writers taking their own shortcomings and making something awesome out of them. I prefer that: instead of just retconning away bad writing use it as a tool.. I try to do that myself when possible. See early in the show as you all probably know, Mordecaiâs crush on Margret was just a plot device: he had a crush on the cute waitress at the coffee shop so they used it to get him to do things. A gratioutis shot of her in bike shorts got him to bet all computer rights for life that sort of thing. The show.. wasnât great with female characters till season 3 and even as it grew, as season 6 and just.. forgetting to give CJ a proper ending as a character shows, still grappled with it. It took writer Kat Morris saying âno no stop go to jailâ to them wanting ot make CJ a difficult woman type, whatever horrifying thing that is. I donât want to know, letâs move on. The point is it wasnât till season 3 that Margret and her best friends, and Rigbyâs future wife, Eileen got fleshed out a bit: Eileen got smarter and turned out to be good at wilderness stuff while Margret was chill, nice, if annoyed by the chaos around mordecai, and funloving, while also having a clear goal in stark contrast to her future boyfriend: going to college. Even after coming back it was botha fter finsihing college and to start a career. It wasnât incredibly deep, but it made me not be ehhh to her mere existance like before. The show also started developing her and Mordecaiâs relationship seriously with the two bonding and the previously shown Butt Dial showing for the first time, after previously having a terrible taste in men and then just not noticing his crush, that she was receptive to how mordecai felt. And the two had several moments and two dates even, it just.. never went anywhere for some reason.
And this was INFURATING to me: See back then shows had a tendency to just pop in love intrests SOLEY for plot fuel like margret with no intention of following through with things either through rejection or a relationsihp upgrade and by then I was sick of it. The whole spike and rarity thing in MLP (which to be clear I wanted her to just reject him but nope, even after I stopped watching she never did. ), Isabella and Phineas. I was fed up so I went from being âehâ about it to annoyed supremely.. but the thing is the writers realized this.. and course corrected. The first step was picking up Margret, where Mordecai agrees to pick her up to get her to the airport for a college interview and we get a nice deconstruction of things as Margret is anticpatiing things going wrong, and wrongly blames Mordecai for it.. I mean it is his fault sometimes but half the time weird shit just follows him. However sheâs won over by him working past it, getting her there in time and kisses him. That blew me away and made me think well itâs finally here.. and it was.. ALMOST. However the creators wisely, if frustratingly to past me, took one more episode to iron it out: Metor Moves has the two growing closer, and semi-going out, but Rigby pops mordecaiâs bubble pointing out he never actually made a boyfriend girlfriend move and her move couldâve gone either way. So Mordecai , after seasons of being wishy washy and awkward, finally decides to go for it as he, rigby, eileen and margret go to a metor shower. Being Regular Show it dosenât go as planned as his attempted kiss is blocked by the guardians of the friend zone.. which is a real, phantom zone esque place here and thatâs just fantastic. And itâs also clearly mocking the hell out of the concept, which is dumb. if you want to ask someone out just do it, I learned that the hard way. And if you really are friends, if she says no then youâll accept it and keep a friend anyway as I have. But itâs clearly parodying it and Mordecai get sreplayed all the times he ALMOST made a move but didnât but refuses to accept this clusterfuck, realizes he was a screwup when it came to this.. and kisses her.. and this time the two enter a relationship> Granted it barely lasted but still, it was nice while it did and this ep is just great for it. While not the funniest, itâs up this high because it took somethign the show did wrong.. and turned it on itâs head and into a character flaw and had mordecai grow past it, with a genuinely romantic moment on top as well as an utterly funny and batshit concept. It also had some Rigleen, as by this point rigby stopped being a hateful wastebasket to her and warmed up to her, and I regret thereâs no reigleen episodes on this list. Their the shows best couple and utterly adorable. Just wanted to mention that at least once this list.Â
4. Laundry Woes (Season 5, Episode 1) From the begining to the end. While sadly Morderet didnât last too long in canon, which blows, it did give us some great episodes while it lasted, as with the above entry and their breakup in Steak Me Amedeus. As mentioned before Margret left for college, which while abrupt feeling did pave the way for great stories: The Mordejay arc mentioned above and that will pop up again very soon, This was one of them: the ep while lacking on laughs is a good emotional rollercoaster and starts with an amazing montage that catches us up from the end of season 4: Mordecai is miserable, as youâd expect and wallowing in it with Benson, of all people, letting him. And given Benson seems to have a heart attack any time Mordecai and Rigby arenât working, thatâs huge. But eventually his friends refuse to let it go on and in a really touching montage help him through it, taking him out places, giving him good times and eventually.. the fog starts to lift and he starts to enjoy himself and by the end.. heâs himself again. Itâs one of the series best sequences, told with no dialouge and showing just how far the rest of the cast had come: Benson actually wants to comfort mordecai but is encouraged not to at first, underfstandably as it probably woudlntâ help, and a crew that were once, aside from Pops who much like Krillin is everyoneâs friend, just coworkers who barely tolerated each other, and are now close as family and help their own in need. But Grief isnât a straight line and just as Mordecaiâs recovering heâs sent spiraling when he finds Margretâs sweater and uses ita s a flimsy excuse to go return it. Itâs here I also get to talk about Rigby, who grew from an impatient idiot who hated Mordecaiâs romantic endevors and actively sabtoaged them at times, to an understandting wing man who, while understandably frustrated with his best friendâs own idiocy with women, turned out to know more and be the wise council he needed, triggering both is relationships and only bailing out during the season 6 clusterfuck and even then was there to comfort him after it was all over and go to his aid to pull him out of another misery hole. And here he gives Mordecai the hard truth: He shoudlnât do this, itâs just going to tear both him and margret up again and he just put himself back together. Heâs not going to let his best friend do this to himself. And while there is a supernatural elment, the sweater comes to life and tries to get Mordecai to force margret back with him and give up college, likely voicing his darkest wants that he hates himself for wanting, but it feels more like a manfiestation of Mordecaiâs own issues than the usual madness. Like âTrucker hall of Fameâ, a rare senntence, itâs a less funny packed more grounded episode. And in the end itâs mordecai himself, after rejecting the ghost sweater and seeing his ex truly happy , that gets him to NOT talk to her and just.. let it go. ITâs a good emotional episode and SHOULD HAVE BEEN the end of their relationship... but iâve ranted about the cheating storyarc enough here, moving right along.Â
3. Portable Toilet (Season 5, Episode 16) Back to the Mordejay arc. And yes this arc is my faviorite and while I didnât make it clear at the time I really shipped the two, even before it became canon. I had nothing against morderet, these two simply had more chemistry and these episodes built CJ up as more of a character than Margret was at the time. Itâs why that later arc sucks so much to me: it destroys a perfectly good relationship and story arc for dumb reasons and never really did enough with it to justify doing so. Iâll get to it some day, or if someone comissions it soone rthan some day, but as you can tell iâm still sore over it and great eps like this are part of the reason why. Itâs the same reason iâm sore on how Tom was handled on star vs. But as you can also tell as bitter and lemon scented as I am.. these eps are still objectivley great and thus took up a third of the list basically. Case in point Portable Toilet, which zooms back a bit to when neither would admit they were into each other but were now friends at least. Also Eileen was CJâs friend now because plot convience. I mean they worked, and it bothers me a lot that the creators claim cj washed her hands of her even though sheâs not the one who made out with margret... which come to think of it adding her to rigleen.. not a bad idea. I mean Rigby didnât really like margret true, but they did almost go out before mordecai killed him and then reset time because Mordecaiâs always kinda sucked. Iâll file that away for later. But my new OTP aside, I did like the two bonding and what not. Anyways with their outside park friend/RIgbyâs future girlfriend now friends with Mordeaiâs future girlfriend the four have apparently been hanging out which, while iâve bemoaned off screen stuff at times, works here and regular show uses it better than most shows. While Rigby can clearly see Mordecai and CJ are into each other Mordecai is as we covered in denial and while that dosenât really progress here, it does lead to one of teh shows finest hours. When talking would you rathers, CJ semi-flirtly dares Mordecai to eat his lunch sandwitch in a portable toilet, which he agrees to and drags a reluctant rigby along for. This being regular show, it goes south fast as the two get stuck, with Rigbyâs clautrophiba kicking in leading to an amazing exchange Mordecai; Dude that makes no sense! Rigby: Youâs makes no sense! While our dynamic duo try to get mordecai and rigby out the two are carted away and repalced with a new portable toilet, a deluxe one. Also we get another great bit when our dynamic duo find Muscle man, in a robe with choclateâs claming âEileen, other girl, this isnât weirdâ before screaming âThis isnât weirdâ. Turns out old portable toilets are taken to be blown up by the miltary and we get one of the shows best one off characters in the general, who not only explains it as âtoilets being about the same size as the enmyâ but when told he should call the president says âthe preseident is not my father iâll blow up as many toilets as I want.â. Spectacular. So now itâs a scramble for one twosome to rescue the other, Rigby lets out a cathartic âTHANK YOUUU MORDECAIâ over the flirty toilet dare, and the day is saved> This one is another pure comedy one, even if it ties into a plot I really like, and iâts gold for obvious reasons and manages to take blowing up porta poties, a premise that dosenât seem that funny, and make it utter comedic gold. Speaking of pure comic episodes that are utterly insane...
2. Cool Bikes (Season 3, Episode 7)
This one feels like regular show boiled down to itâs core: semi-relabtale hyjinks dovetalling into pure madness. And the premise sounds like a shit post iâd make: Mordecai and Rigby want benson to admit their cool and get into progressively weird outfits and tricks to their bycycles to do so, eventually becoming so cool their put on trial by the council of cool , ending up having to make a runner when Benson finally breaks down and admits it. The premise is utterly stupid in the best way possible, with the conflict being the kind of petty bullshit we all get into from time to time with our aquantinces: not wanting to admit something and loose the argument withthings escalating. And in regular show terms it escalate sperfectly into the entire unvierse being threatned adn our heros being on trial for their lives. Thereâs not much to say here, itâs just pure comedic gold with a premise that just works. It also has good moments for Benson with his finally admitting they are cool and saving the duoâs lives whne he realized he just gave them a death sentence. Utter fun. And now we come to the finale, my faviorite episode...
1. Dodge This (Season 5, Episode 15)Â
Yup this arc again. But this one has more than my ship going for it, and itâs why it soared to the top: It takes the excellent character work of other episodes and weaves it with excellent comedy to create an utter delight and the episode I remember most fondly and most often. Itâs just great. The second part of the Mordeijay arc, not counting yes dude yes, the episode is half that and half sports movie: The Park Guys have been taking part in dodgeball as a team bulding thing and it shows how far Bensonâs come as he not only praises mordecai, and launches the mordecai and benson ship in the process, but gives his team full wings and his full support, a far cry from his usual self. Itâs also the first big instance of him getting hammered on wings and itâs glorious to see drunk flirty benson. Benson is also genuinely congratulatory to the teamâs ace mordecai, and most of them realy for b eing valuable and hopes to win this year. IN their way are two things: The magical elements, aka the floating baby heads that gave skips his immortality, his friend with sparkly eyes who works for them and death himself whose a recurring character and fucking great and who were their bowling rivals too. The other is CJ is back, and Benson in another good moment actually talks mordecai through it and his nerves over it assuring him. So we get a great sports piece as our heroes work through various callbacks and even beat the magical elements iwth Rigbyâs hilarious and rediculous rignado manuver, which is as dumb as it sounds and winged a guy hilaroiusly before with Benson scolding him like a toddler. Of course it ends up with Mordecai and CJ against each other, both incredibly awkard over things as mentioned before, and both ending up in a stalmate that magical dodgeball guardians have to resolve because, letâs do this one last time. ITâS REGULAR SHOW. We do get a good moment though as the two work through their awkwardness: both thinking the other is rightfully mad: Mordecai for his two timer date with her and Margret and CJ for running out without talking to mordecai after they had a moment on new years. The both work past it, the park strikers loose,benson likely gets hammered again off screen.. itâs a good one and I have no shame in putting it at number one. Itâs got heart, really great jokes, and some good charcter stuff, not to the level of other episodes on this list, but it wasnât a full episode of that like those were and still works to move the plot forward and is still a classic. Just a fun, breezy, well done epsidoe fully rooted in the castâs characters and getting laughs out of that.. mostly benson. And with that this giangantic list comes to a close> I hope you enjoyed it, if you liked it follow me for more. Iâll be doing close enough coverage every week, as well as amphibia and owl house among other reviews. Until we meet again, later days.Â
#regular show#mordecai#rigby#cj#eileen#margret#muscle man#benson dunwoody#high five ghost#pops mallerd#skips#death#yuji#rich fulcher#close enough#top 10 lists#cartoon network
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Hello! Iâm Katie, and this is my muse Ches. If any of you were in Luxor over the summer, you know this pain in the ass so Iâm probably gonna do a quick âhereâs where this brat wasâ recap at the bottom, along with anything Iâve changed between that Ches and this Ches! Iâm really excited to be back, and Iâm really looking forward to roleplaying with everyone.
I also have the habit of writing crazy long bios when I do bother to write them so thereâs a tl;dr for that, also some wanted connections at the bottom. I love plotting so if you ever have any ideas, feel free to come excited scream with me here or on Discord! So without further ado âĽ
TWs:Â Gun Violence / Murder / Death (not by Ches), Blood, Abuse (Relationship), Cheating, Mental Illnesses, Drugs/Alcohol, Overdoses (also not by Ches / did not result in death)
Is that HAILEY CHESHIRE âCHESâ ELSWOOD? Wow, they do look a lot like KATHERINE MCNAMARA. I hear SHE is a SEVENTEEN EIGHTEENÂ year old SENIOR who originally attended CARNIFEX Academy. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be IMPULSIVE and STUBBORN, but on the bright side they can also be ENERGENIC and LOYAL. Ultimately, youâll get to see it all for yourself. [KATIE, 23, EST, SHE/HERS]
Last Edit: 8/26/2020
⼠basics; Full Name: Hailey Cheshire âChesâ Elswood Preferred Name: Ches Elswood Age: 18 Birthday: July 19th, 2002 at 03:22 am Sexual Orientation: Biromantic bisexual Relationship Status: Itâs complicated ( @ Elliot ) Occupation: Student Nationality: American [with French dual citizenship] Chesâs Car
⼠classes;
Anthropology
Shakespearean Studies
Linguistics
Latin
Music
Advanced Sociology
Advanced Psychology
World History
⼠extracurriculars;
National Honor Society
Theater Club (Actor)
Concert Band (Piano)
⼠background; Place of Birth: Paris, France Hometown: Manhattan, New York, New York Health Issues: Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD, not that she likes to admit to it, however. Sheâs also highly allergic to the Perciformes family of fish (tuna, mackrel, perch , and bass). While sheâs okay with the salmoniformes (Salmon and Trout), she really doesnât touch fish outside of... literally salmon she makes herself since thatâs all she trusts ok. ((Shellfish is fine though) Traumas: Watching her mother die (mugging gone wrong/shot to death)
⼠physical; Face Claim: Katherine McNamara Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Red Height: 5â˛3 ½â (not at fc height quick side note) Weight: 115 lbs Tattoos, Birthmarks, Scars, etc: Mole above her belly button, a few moles on her thighs, freckles and face moles. (Face Ref 1, Face Ref 2,  Body Ref 1, Body Ref 2) . She also has a tattoo now.
⼠zodiac;
Tropical
Sun: Cancer Moon: Scorpio Mercury: Cancer Venus: Virgo Mars: Leo Jupiter: Cancer Saturn: Gemini Uranus: Â Aquarius Neptune: Aquarius Pluto: Sagittarius Lilith: Aries N Node: Gemini
Placidus Orb
I ASC: Gemini II: Cancer III: Cancer IV: Leo V: Virgo VI: Libra VII: Sagittarius VIII: Â Capricorn IX: Capricorn X MC: Aquarius XI: Pisces XII: Aries
⼠relatives;
Fatherâs Full Name: Edward Valentine Elswood Fatherâs Status: Alive Fatherâs Occupation: CEO/Owner of a multi-billion dollar luxury goods conglomerate  (net worth of 50+ Billion in fact - in turn, Elswood kids do NOT bat an eyelash at prices) Motherâs Full Name: Julia Andrieux Elswood Motherâs Status: Deceased [shot by a mugger on the twinâs 8th birthday] Future Step-Mother: Rebekah Carroll (soon to be Elswood, watch this space lol) Step-Motherâs Occupation: Siblings: 6 brothers and sisters (family page here) Elswood-Carroll Children Oldest to Youngest:
Logan Elswood (24)
Jamie Elswood (22)
Emmett Elswood (19)
Cade Carroll (19)
Jonah / Ches Elswood (TWINS)
Flynn Carroll (16)
Effie Elswood (14)
Ella Elswood (10)
She also has a niece named Isabella (Belle) whoâs now almost 8 months (DOB: 07/10/2019). Belle belongs to her oldest brother, Logan (and Belleâs mother isnât in the picture).
This is a link to the Elswood family page if youâd like to know more about her family.
⼠relationships; Ex-Significant Other(s): Probably a handful of people tbh, hit me up if you want this as a WC Reason for Separation: Stuff not working out, Ches getting bored before she got attached, so on - sheâs a flirt tbh, it takes her wanting to get invested for her to stay Current Significant Other: N/A
⼠misc;
Hobbies and Talents: Chesâs main hobbies are playing piano and archery (she forever misses her bow and arrow while sheâs at school), as these are also the two things that are best at calming her down. She has an intense love for acting, so itâs not uncommon for her to be one of the first people to sign up for auditions, and she tends to sing a lot so musicals are truly her shit. Itâs not uncommon to see her in the library, reading a book late a night.
However, a talent she doesnât exactly own up to often is her talent for forgeries and lockpicking. While she doesnât use these skills as theyâre intended for often, she does tend to practice them a lot, so sheâs not rusty for when they are actually useful.
Pinterest Section // Musings Tag // Playlist (itâs an in general Ches playlist tho)
Ches speaks English and French fluently, her mother was born and raised in Paris so she learnt them both at the same time
DO NOT CALL HER HAILEY unless you really want to end up on her shit list, itâs her biggest pet peeve, she will glare at you for hours.
Sheâs the mom friend if your mom friend also goes âI HAVE THE BEST IDEAâ and drags you into trouble. Literally, the one who frets over you and proceeds to get you into trouble.
This muse does what she wants, I just write it down I apologize always for her
Doesnât really... seriously date too much because of past situations (Her older brother slept with the first person she truly loved) and she tries to avoid falling in love
That being said platonic I love yous are her shit, she loves her friends a LOT
Ches is very serious about her studying (and wanting to be among the best of the best because - this girl has Ivy league college dreams and she has no intents on fucking those up), so like expect her to do shit like read an entire textbook at the start of school and study at midnight when her insomnia is kicking her ass.
Sheâs a bit of a closet nerd - if you look under her bed she has a chest of comic books, sheâll just lie if you ask her about them
Ches left Luxor due to a family emergency in October, it was a really hard decision (and it was a really hard decision to come back). She is just now coming back to school.
She got her tattoo while she was away from school, using a forged note of parental consent in New Jersey.
⼠bio;
TWs: Gun Violence, Murder, Death, Blood, Abuse (Relationship), Cheating, Mental Illnesses
Growing up as an Elswood means two things, you have a lot of siblings and a lot of money. Her parents had decided to raise their children in Manhattan, New York, where they could keep a close eye on their multi-billion dollar conglomerate. Her mother, Julia, would take them on trips constantly too - when she wanted to get the children away from the hustle and bustle of the city theyâd go to their vacation home upstate, or their private island, or even to visit their family in Paris. At that point in life, Ches was happy. She had a solid group of friends, she had the best friend she could ever imagine having in the form of her twin brother, she had a loving and warm family, and she had a parent who would tell her no.
When she thinks back to her life before the incident, it feels like a completely different story. A fairytale even, perfect and happy in every way compared to her life now. However, it wouldnât last, after all, fairy tales didnât exist and reality was a much crueler mistress. One could say Lin-Manuel Miranda described it best; âlife doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes.â
Everything changed on her eighth birthday when her mother took her out shopping to get a present for twin brother Jonah at Palisades Mall. A man came up with a gun while they were in the parking lot and asked for all of their money. Julia Elswood compiled but she made one mistake, the simple utterance of âCours, Chesâ as she gave the man her purse.
Ches might have gotten out of the event alive, but not she was not unscathed. Julia Elswood was pronounced dead when medics finally arrived on the scene, her blood coating her daughterâs hands and clothing from Chesâs attempts to stop the bleeding. She might have survived the event without physical harm but she was never the same child she was before after that.
One day she had an intact family, the next day the Elswoods were in ruin. Her father completely shut himself out from the family, only coming out for birthdays and holidays. Her oldest brother stepped up as their parental figure, first starting out with homeschooling before he eventually dropped out to ensure his siblings were getting as much of his time as they possibly could. He tried his hardest to make the loss of their mother easier on the younger girls especially, given how young they were at the time. She helped him with the girls as much as she could (and overtime she slowly started filling the role as their second parent). Because of how busy the younger Elswood children kept him, sometimes Logan didnât have the time to comfort Ches when she woke up in the middle of the night, haunted by their mother.
That was when Emmett stepped in. It wasnât uncommon for him to sleep on her floor so heâd be there when she woke up terrified out of her mind, and he was there when she just eventually stopped sleeping like people tended to. Over time she realized that Jonah and her werenât truly two peas in a pod the way they used to be, that Emmett was the only Elswood who truly got her. He wasnât perfectly normal either, his thoughts and feelings were flawed like hers.
In a family that made her feel so broken at times, Emmett was a saving grace - a reminder she wasnât alone.
Going to school in Carnifex was an easy decision when you felt so alone at home, at school she found a close group of people she loved and cared about - she felt less alone and less like her family were judging her, and when the feeling came up - she could always toss herself back into her schoolwork and pretend that maybe, just maybe, she was just a normal kid living a normal boring life. Family issues easily bred vulnerability though, and it was that vulnerability that was exploited not long before she was set to start Carnifex.
Long-distance relationships weren'tâ supposed to be easy, but when she fell in love for the first time. At the time, she had thought she was as fucked up as she could ever be, that at this point she was just focused on healing the wounds her motherâs death had left in therapy and after that, everything would be fine. James Ruth quickly showed her how mistaken she had been, even now she doesnât like thinking about everything he had done to her. She doesnât discuss everything he had put her through in the time they were together nor does she have any intentions on truly discussing the worst of the abuse she endured while dating him and she was home - even in therapy. It did, however, have an effect on her, it made her terrified of truly falling in love with somebody again. (Note: James is also a massive reason why she doesn't get along with her brother Jamie, the two Elswood siblings never recovered from Jamie sleeping with Chesâs boyfriend. It causes a good deal of tension in the Elswood home but Ches canât just forgive him, her brother never even apologized for his actions, she wasnât going to pretend he didnât hurt her because her father wanted them to get along for his own sake. They were on the rocks before this and afterward, the tension just got a whole lot worse.)
Going back to Carnifex her sophomore year was a key factor in helping Ches get away from her relationship, and it became as much of a home for her than her actual home was the longer she attended. Sure, she still misses her younger sisters, she misses Emmett and Camellia, and she misses her friends in the city. She also dislikes just how restricted she truly is when it comes to Instagram and trying to grow her influence while she attends Carnifex. Networking had to wait until she was home and sometimes she questions why she decided boarding school was a good idea. And then Ches looks at her friends, at the education sheâs receiving, and all the fond memories sheâs developing. Carnifex, and now Luxor, was well worth the fear of missing out she feels.Â
If you had asked her at the start of this school year, she would have told you nothing could have gotten her to leave school for any amount of time her senior year, she had spent the whole summer at Luxor (even after hearing about her baby niece, that meant a lot) - she finally settled in, she couldnât imagine anything happening that would cause her to leave the academy. And then, on October 16th at two am in the morning, she got a phone call from Ella. Their oldest brother, Logan, had overdosed. While his drug addiction had never been a secret to the family, his relapse had been a surprise to Ches. Her brother had sworn up and down he was fine, that everything at home was okay. Going back to New York was a no brainer, her family needed her - and she needed them.
Logan, whoâd been the closest thing to a parent she had since her mother died, almost died - she almost lost all the parental figures she ever knew. It was hard, getting adjusted back to New York City, she threw herself into her school work and did her best to fill the shoes Logan left open as he went through rehab, and then, adjusted back to being home. While she stayed in touch with the people she had at Luxor, she wouldnât come back until her brother way okay - until she felt safe about leaving him with his daughter and their siblings without her as a backup. Coming back to school this time was really hard on her, the homesickness is worse than ever and sheâs constantly trying to check in on her siblings (because mom!Ches is truly in full force and sheâs trying to get it back down) but sheâs glad to be back. Sheâs missed being at Luxor, a lot, so sheâs glad to be back.
TLDR / quick important notes bio recap for rereads:
Chesâs mother was murdered on her 8th birthday in front of her
She was raised by her oldest brother, Logan, and is NOT close to her father really. She also helped raise her younger sisters and is very protective of them.
The Elswood she is closest to is Emmett, Jonah and her grew apart after her motherâs death.
Chesâs first real love was James (an NPC), they dated (entire)Freshman-(mid)Sophomore years, it was abusive (much more than Ches will ever discuss unless she gets majorly close to someone and they HAVE to know (cough still hasnât happened though cough)) and Ches is now terrified of falling in love again. Her messy as fuck relationships & exes all start after this point.
Chesâs history at Luxor is pretty much in-tact, changes will be below in another section!
Ches left Luxor because of her oldest brother, Logan, overdosing. He is alive but she stayed in NYC until he was out of rehab / stabilized in order to take care of her younger siblings and her niece, Belle.
Notable Luxor Notes:
Anything relating to Thomas (for those of you who know what I mean) really hasnât occurred, so if you mention it sheâll just be like âwho?â This seems like the easiest course of action given how things were left off
Other muses of note Iâm not going to account for are: Asher (more will be added as needed).
Ches isnât a member of the Churchill Circle (Iâm leaning towards was never one either just because the reasons she joined are no longer a factor so... she probably wouldnât have ever joined)
If anyone wants to change history and/or keep it intact, feel free to dm me to let me know and Iâll update this accordingly.Â
Wanted Connections:
Exes (when Ches dates itâs not for long, but sheâs definitely the type to be like âIâll go out with youâ if asked and then... dump you if she thinks sheâs getting too attached. So her exes are either on good terms, neutral terms, or they probably dislike her a lot)
Former friends with benefits - while Ches is no longer taking on new ones because of Elliot (and is starting to wean off her current ones), Iâm always willing to headcanon past things!
FRIENDSHIPS (I am weak af for a good friendship plot, never be afraid to be like âhey can our muses be friendsâ the answer is legit always yes)
Enemies (Ches can... be a lot so itâs not unlikely sheâs pissed people off ok)
#luxorintro#so yeah pretty much have a Ches and I am SO FREAKING EXCITED TO BE BACK OK#sorry this is so freaking long too âĽ#also I was excited I revamped the bio and drafted it#it's about my bedtime right now though so not sure how far I'll get with replies I'm gonna try but it's legit the time I pass out right now
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Team Red visits area 51
So, this is my first attempt at writing a true team Red fanfic. Anyways, for context, all three have worked together before, but Peter dosent know who DD is (just that he's a lawyer) and DD only knows that Peter is in high school. Both DD and Peter know who Deadpool is. Deadpool doesn't know who Spiderman is, but knows who DD is. Slight change to what's in Area 51. First, theres what's actually in area 51 (spoilers, not saying here) but the meme of this universe is that's where the cryptids are (vampires, zombies, werewolves, etc.) Also, the group invading Area 51 features some inserts, because at least some people need to show up to raid Area 51. Gwenpool shows up and uses her powers, so it gets a bit meta, since for Gwenpool it is a super powers thing, not a mental illness thing. All glory to @morepopcornplease ,@smokeyloki @supesofherown for willing to be my area 51 squad
Matt was tired.
There were robots everywhere. Robots on the ceiling, on the floor, just...robots. They were difficult to track, and, more importantly, difficult to punch. Matt's knuckles bled. The suit helped, but not enough.
When did Hell's Kitchen get so wild? Matt wondered. Then suddenly, Matt's world blurred and flipped. He was hanging upside down by his ankle.
"Hey, Double D! Hope you don't mind me bringing in some reinforcements!"
Ah. Spiderman. And oh look. (Or not.) Deadpool. Daredevil gagged. The stench of decay was...distinctive.
Matt started tugging at the webbing around his ankle. It wouldn't unstick. Maybe he should start weilding swords. That way, he could cut himself free and escape while he had a chance.
Maybe he could get Elekra to show him how to use knives.
Deadpool jumped past him, dualweilding katanas. "Eyyyyy! Horn head joined the party!" Matt grumbled under his breath.
Deadpool and Spiderman fought side by side, Spiderman webbing down robots, and Deadpool either shooting or stabbing them. Meanwhile, Matt gnawed at his ankle. Eventually the flow of robots stopped. Deadpool cut Daredevil down.
Deadpool and Spiderman looked around, and fist bumped. Matt coughed loudly.
"I had it under control."
"Because that-" Deadpool gestured around them "-was in control."
"Could have taken care of it."
Deadpool walked over and placed his hands on Matt's shoulders. Matt wrinkled his nose. "Red, you were punching bare metal. With your fists. Let me see them." Deadpool went to grab Matt's hands. Matt pulled them away. Deadpool forcibly grabbed Matt's hands and took off his gloves.
"See? Perfectly fine."
"Ah yes, bloody knuckles are perfectly fine. Now, Webhead has a special mission he wants to invite you on. After that, you're gonna go home to your boy and he's gonna kiss your boo boos better."
"He's not my boy."
"He could be."
"He's married, I'm Catholic and I'm not interested."
"Suurree." Deadpool dropped Matt's hands. "If you are looking for someone else, you know where to find me." Deadpool wiggled his eyebrows, which caused his mask to shift a bit. Matt punched Deadpool. Deadpool laughed.
"See ya hornhead." Deadpool walked off.
"Catholic?" Spidey asked.
"Yep."
"Hmm, ironic considering..." Spiderman gestured to Matt, "...everything."
"Yeah. Ya got a question?:
"Oh yeah, wanna go to area 51 with me and Deadpool?"
"Spidey, I have a buisness to run. No."
"Oh come on! You should."
"Why?"
"Do it for the alien tech. Do it for the meme. Do it because we don't know what the government is hiding in there." Spiderman paused for dramatic effect. "We need to know if vampires really exist. You can't keep that stuff from people."
"No, and you're going to get arrested for it." Matt sighed. "Listen, if you're going to go, can I at least give you this?" Matt pulled a buisness card out of his suit, and handed it over to Spidey.
"Nelson and Murdock, attorneys at law?" Spiderman raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. I have them on speed dial in case I get arrested. Call them if you need legal help."
"Got it."
--
Matt tumbled into Foggy's apartment. Foggy materialized from his bedroom, bleary eyed.
"Here for checkup." Matt smiled.
"Good. I'll bring you some clean clothes. What bandages do you need? Do we need to call the Night Nurse?" Matt and Foggy had this check up system in place so they wouldn't have to bother her with minor wounds and Foggy could sleep soundly, such as twisted ankles and jammed fingers.
"Nope. Knuckles just need bandaging."
"Good. Though it says something about our lives that you are hurt at all, and I'm saying its fine."
"I know, Fogs." Foggy started applying rubbing alchohol to Matt's knuckles. Matt hissed a bit. "I miss the old days. When there were fewer heroes running around." Matt paused.
"Not when we didn't need spandex clad idiots?"
Matt snorted and thought about it for a bit. "Nah. I guess we always needed them."
"What did the idiots do this time?"
"They want to raid area 51."
"You're shitting me."
"Nope."
"They really are complete dumbasses. Utter morons." Foggy paused. "They'll be out of town for it, right?"
"Yeah..."
"You know where they live, right?"
"Just Wade."
"You could prank him."
"Hmmm... would you help?"
"If you can make sure he doesn't murder me." Foggy finished bandaging Matt's hands. "You're good to go. Do you need a change of clothes?"
"Yeah."
Foggy retrieved some sweatpants and a tshirt. He also got a paper bag out.
"Okay, I got a change of clothes, and a paper bag."
"Thanks, Foggy. You're the best."
"Text or call me when you're home safe."
"Will do."
--
Peter was out in the New Mexico desert, and it was nice. Warm. New York was cold. Peter was cold in New York. All the time.
DD thought it was because something with the Spider bite giving him a few cold blooded drawbacks. Wade thought it was because Peter was too skinny.
Which was because the bite fucked up his metabolism, he supposed.
But for now Peter was in the desert, and warm. It was pleasant.
For five seconds, more or less. He heard chatting, and decided to follow it.
He found a group of four people camped out in the desert, discussing strategies for getting into Area 51. They were all some degree of sunburned, sharing water bottles, and arguing about if they could expect anyone else to show up. Peter waved at them.
"Hello!" One of them responded.
"Oh, hey Spidey!" One of them yelled. She waved him over.
"Glad you could join us."
"We have a chance now!" One of them pumped her fist.
"Smokey, are these your reinforcements?"
"Hi, so, you're obviously Spiderman, I'm V, and this is Smokey," V, apparently, gestured to someone wearing a fedora, apparently Smokey, "Supes," V pointed to a woman in a Superman tshirt, "and Popcorn!" V gestured to a woman wearing a tank top that had "The only iron I pump is the IRON WILL OF GOD" on it.
"Popcorn?"
"She ate all the popcorn!" Smokey complained. Peter tilted his head.
"Smokey did most of the planning, including rations." Supes commented.
"Okay... I should be having a friend meet me here soon!"
"Awesome! Is he in the raid?"
"Yeah."
"Cool. We should talk strategy, while we wait for him to get here..."
--
So they figured that Deadpool would charge into Area 51 as a distraction. Once the guards left to fight him, the group of four would try to scale the fence. While the fence scaling was going on, Spidey would crawl through the drainage pipe to grab whatever paranormal stuff he could find. Leading an army, Spiderman would free the rest of them, allowing them to return home safely.
When Deadpool finally showed up, he laughed at their faces.
"Spidey, you're smarter than this. This isnt gonna work. Besides, I'm expecting one other person. She will help you out. A lot."
"Hello!" A loud, high pitched voice yelled from behind them.
Deadpool and Spiderman turned to see the pinkest person they had ever set eyes on.
--
Peter had thought Wade was crazy. Wade had thought Wade was crazy.
This was nothing compared to Gwen Poole. She was pink and energy, and mostly talked nonsense. Something about this all being fanfiction, and a disappointing lack of panels. Also, according to her, one of the four "self inserts" was "the author."
Wade thought he could keep up, but no. Whatever the fuck voices were in his head paled in comparison to whatever Gwen had.
Like, Deadpool occasionally thought he was in a comic, but she seemed to be able to do something about it. Dead silent explosions because "I caught the otomotapeia," inexplicable escapes...
Cuz if there's real weird shit in there, she can handle it.
As is though, she kept calling one of the people "the author" and it was making his own head spin. That's... not normally how this went. But she'd be going with the four civilians in. She'd be able to keep them alive.
And so it begins.
--
The plan started to fall apart immediately.
Deadpool was doing fine, Spiderman was doing fine.
Gwen and V were in a heated arguement.
"What do you mean, you didn't write any scenes inside area 51?"
"I told you, I don't know what you're talking about! Besides, don't you have powers? Can't you do something about it?"
"Not in a fanfic! Not in normal literature! The format matters. I can manipulate comic panels, not THIS SHITSHOW."
"Uh, guys? I think the Feds are here." Popcorn piped up.
"Hands up!" A man yelled. They all slowly put their hands up.
--
Deadpool made it in. He found a cat named Goose in a cage. He picked it up and continued running through the halls.
He ran into Spiderman. Literally. They both shouted.
"Glad to see you're alive! Do you know where Gwen's squad went?"
"Yeah, I saw them getting arrested just before making it in. And look! I found a cat!" Wade proudly held the cat up to Peter. Voices shouted from behind them.
"WADE! WE NEED TO GET THEM!"
Oh. Right.
"So, any ideas?"
"Stop!" A voice called out behind Deadpool.
The duo ran through the halls, left and right, trying to lose the gaurds. Spidetman opened a door they found, a supply closet. Spiderman opened the cage, and sat the cat on Wade's lap. Spiderman threw the cage down the hall.
"What the fuck was that for?" Deadpool furiously whispered.
"Distraction," Spiderman whispered back.
The guards immediately opened the supply closet. The cat hissed. Then, he opened his mouth. Wide.
Tentacles shot out from the cat's mouth, wrapping around the guard. He let out a shriek, cut short by Goose swallowing him whole.
Deadpool and Spiderman looked at the cat, eyes wide.
"I like you," Deadpool declared, firmly.
--
The other five were in a metal truck.
"Do you have any way out?" Smokey asked.
"No. We're gonna be tried for treason." Supes commented.
"If only the others could get us out of here." V added.
"Wait. That's it."
"What do you mean, that's it?"
"I can get out of here. You wrote something just now of Spidey and Deadpool back at Area 51. I can go there now, let them know where we are, which is in a metal truck, headed to... damn. Don't know definitively, but it's a shot. Just give me a moment..." Gwen pushed on something, and floated up into the ceiling.
"Well, this just got worse," Smokey commented.
--
"Hey guys!"
Wade screamed.
"Woah, Gwen, how'd you get here?" Spidey sounded shocked.
"The writer mentioned you in Area 51, so I could come over to visit, through some medium manipulation. "
"Great job, Pinky. Now, where's everyone else? And do you know what the fuck is going on with this cat?" Wade held out Goose.
"No idea. The writer didn't bother informing the audience of their exact location, and two, the cat is a flergen. Now, let me think." Gwen started pacing around the supply closet, muttering to herself.
"Hmmmm.... wait a minute.... I got it!" Gwen shrieked and snapped her fingers. "Ma- DD, gave you a buisness card for himself. Give it to me, and I'll bring it to them, and they'll be able to call him to lawyer them out." Gwen held out her hand. "Gimme." Reluctantly, Spiderman handed it over. "Thanks, Webhead!" Gwen pushed upwards again. Then, she was gone.
--
Thud!
Gwen fell back into the truck, then grabbed for something.
"Soooooo, what's the plan?" Popcorn asked.
"Sit tight and get Matt Murdock to lawyer us out. He's a crack lawyer, and considering this is fanfic, I imagine he'll be great at it."
"M'Kay." Popcorn said, rolling her eyes.
--
Matt Murdock was a bit busy at the moment. He was busy saran wrapping Wade's pillows. Foggy was trying to cram a rubber duck into a shampoo bottle. Well, Wade's shampoo. Foggy didn't get why the guy had it (Wade was bald) but he figured he'd ask no questions. Just prank.
Matt's phone rang. An unknown number. He picked up.
"Hello! This is Matthew Murdock. Who is this?"
"Hello, this is Gwen Poole, friend of Spiderman, in need of legal counsel. Would you be able to help?"
"Where are you? Is Spiderman or Deadpool with you?"
"No. I'm with four other civilians. We are in New Mexico."
"Shit. I can't exactly make it over there."
"Shit."
Foggy yelped in surprise, then cheered. "Got it in!"
Gwen thought for a bit. "What if we book an airline for you to get here."
Matt thought about it. "That could work."
--
The next morning, Foggy drove Matt to the airport, grumbling the whole way.
"They're idiots, Matt, you shouldn't have to save them." Matt began staring (as best he could) at his hands.
"Its a Catholic guilt thing, isn't it?" Foggy sighed. "Fine, go be a lawyer hero while I singlehandedly keep the firm running. It's a good thing I'm the brains of Nelson and Murdock, while you're the beauty."
"I'm not the brawn of Nelson and Murdock?"
"No, that's Karen." Matt cracked a smile.
Foggy pulled up to the curb. "Keep me posted. Let me know when you're coming back and how it goes."
"I will." Matt got out of the car, and grabbed his suitcase.
He waved as Foggy drove away. Deep breaths, Murdock. You can navigate an airport and plane, he thought. Matt entered the airport.
--
A few hours later, Matt landed in New Mexico, where he couldn't get off the plane fast enough, then took a taxi to where they were being held.
He raised hell. He got everyone (except for Gwen) released that night. New Mexico state troopers had never seen the fury of a Matt Murdock scorned.
Apparently, since everyone was in the middle of the desert, and needed supplies, the threat of death by dehydration was enough to get them all off. Gwen, however, was stuck back in prison, because she was armed, and various other crimes due to being the leader of MODOK. As far as anyone could follow.
Everyone then boarded a plane back to New York.
"Did this just happen?" V asked. "This feels crazy.
"It it really is," Smokey agreed.
Something in the overhead compartment shifted. The stewardess opened it, and Gwen jumped out.
"Thank you!" She said to the stewardess. "Man, that was cramped. Good to be out in the light of day!"
--
Wade Wilson was looking forward to a relaxing night at home, after the craziness of the past few days. He had Goose tucked in his one arm. He opened his apartment. Little rubber ducks were everywhere. Over the counters, on the bookshelves. He opened the fridge. There was a rubber duck.
Goose meowed, then tentacled the duck.
"That's cannibalism, Goose." Wade put down Goose, then went to nap. His cheek hit saran wrap.
"Fuck you, Murdock!" Wade yelled.
Thanks for reading! I tried to have Gwen's powers make sense, but it's...difficult.
#area 51#matt murdock#wade wilson#peter parker#daredevil#deadpool#spiderman#team red#fanfiction#fanfic#original content#and some character inserts#hope i didnt ruin anyone's character#oh yeah#gwenpool#gwen poole
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Top 10 of 2018
C2018 was a year is this nicest way I can sum it up. My precious fur-baby passed away after fighting a horrible illness and is in a happier place, my health went crazy (still is as of writing), and I finally broke free from an abusive toxic person who had been controlling me for a huge chunk of my life. Despite the bad things that happened, I want to focus on the good things of 2018. One of things I began doing in January of 2018 was at the end of every week, I would write down all of the good things that happened to me, be it sewing, watched a good movie, spending time with a friend, etc. So without further ado, hereâs my Top 10 of 2018! (I CANâT BELIEVE ITâS ALREADY MARCH!!)
1. The Ancient Magusâ Bride
-Â Â Â Â Â Iâve been a lifelong fan of Beauty and the Beast-like stories ever since I watched the classic Disney film. The manga kept popping up in my recommendations for the majority of 2017 and I remember seeing a poster at my local theater for a premiere showing of the first 3 episodes of the then-upcoming anime (I have since regretted not going to this showing). I finally caved and bought the first two volumes of the manga and literally went back to the store two days later and bought the next 2 volumes. Iâve always been a very picky person with my romance be it movie, novel, anime, manga, etc., but this quickly became one of my favorites with itâs excellent world-building, relationships, and donât even get me started on how gorgeous the animation is! If you want an excellent Beauty & the Beast adaptation, you wonât be disappointed. (I am unashamed of crying happy tears in public while watching the final episode)
2. Satoshi Konâs Filmography
-Â Â Â Â Â My New Yearâs resolution was to watch all of the late Satoshi Konâs works, starting with his debut film Perfect Blue. I had wanted to watch this film for several years, and it did not disappoint. (I kept spamming for people to go and see it when it got a theatrical re-release in Fall 2018) Next was Konâs final project Paprika, which I watched about 3 times in May and many times over 2018 and still notice something new every time I watch it. Finally, I watched *the* film that I have wanted to watch for many, many years (since 2004 to be exact): Millennium Actress. I was not prepared for how moving this film would be with its themes of the past vs. present, how an ordinary encounter can lead to something so much more, and lastly: love transcends time. If you could only watch one of Satoshi Konâs works, please choose to watch Millennium Actress. Unfortunately, I wasnât able to watch Konâs other two works, but I aim to in 2019 (along with reading his works)
3. Slayers
-Â Â Â Â Â I watched some of Slayers back in middle school and in summer 2016, but never took off with it until in 2018. I knew I would like this funny series about the adventures of a fiery sorceress, dumb as a stump swordsman, optimistic hero-in-training, and an overly-serious chimera, but I had no idea it would become one of my top 10 favorite anime series! I havenât laughed so much with an anime in a while, and I greatly appreciated it since my fur-baby passed away and this was one of the last anime we watched together. Thereâs just something about 90s fantasy anime thatâs just so appealing. I will throw in that while I love the tv series, the films are worth watching too, with The Motion Picture being my favorite. If you need something to cheer you up, I highly recommend Slayers!
4. Venom
-Â Â Â Â Â Confession: I did not have high hopes for this movie. I was the only one among my friends who was uninterested in this film whenever we would watch the trailers/promos/etc. Eventually after this movie came out, my friends and best friend convinced me to see it. My sociology buddy told me âThis movie wasnât marketed right! Go see it!!â and another told me âThis is the best action rom-com of 2018.â The next day my family asked me if I wanted to see it and Bohemian Rhapsody (also an excellent film) and I said âSure!â This film has since spawned never-ending jokes between me and my best friend. (I ended up making her a Venom scarf for Christmas!) If youâre trying to get someone to see this film, donât show them the trailers depicting it as a dark, gritty, action thriller, show them the home video trailer depicting it as a rom-com because thatâs exactly what it is. I still canât believe that a movie about a human falling in love with a man-eating gooey alien is real.
5. The Shape of Water
-     â2017 will be remembered as the year men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish.â- Jimmy Kimmel, 2018 Oscars. Iâm beginning to see a pattern for stories of humans falling in love with monsters. My mom and I wanted to see this film after the trailer dropped in summer 2017 and were disappointed when the film didnât play here. However, sometime in February 2018, this film played in our town for one weekend, so we dashed to the theater. I donât even know where to start with how beautiful this film is and since several people I know still havenât watched it Iâll just state this: Please watch this film. It earned the 4 Oscars it won. (It earned all 10 it was nominated for!)
6. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse
-Â Â Â Â Â I almost didnât see this film. 2018 was a pretty hectic year for me and I didnât really keep up with films/entertainment news, so I saw no trailers for this film (except for a really short tv ad). All I knew was what my best friend had said: âBrianna, letâs go see Spider-verse. In 3D.â (yâall, 2018 was the year of listening to my best friend) It was so nice not only to see a different Spider-Man, a diverse cast, a well-curated soundtrack, and a completely new style of animation that makes you feel as though youâre reading/watching a comic book??? Sign me up! Iâm so happy this film won the Oscar!!
7. Macross Frontier Movies
-Â Â Â Â Â Iâve fallen deep into the Macross hole in the past year or two and have no plans of crawling out. The 2008 series Macross Frontier was my first and favorite entry in the series so far. I knew that there were two recap/alternate retelling films made, so when I was free one day I watched them and I was really surprised that I enjoyed them more than the tv series!? I havenât really mentioned this, but my big problem with the tv series of Frontier was itâs ending being not too good. I donât want to ruin it since Macross (particularly made after 2001) is a bit unknown in the USA, but I will say that if you want to get into this franchise, start with the Frontier movies or with the iconic Macross: Do you remember love? film. The music is just as good as the tv series, same with the costumes, and the writing is much better! The performance of Northern Cross at the climax of The Wings of Goodbye was really moving. Not âDo you remember love?â moving, but pretty close.
8. Sailor Moon Theatrical Double-Feature
-Â Â Â Â Â Everyone who knows me knows that Iâve loved Sailor Moon for pretty much all of my life (ever since the 3rd & 4th seasons aired on Toonami back in the day!) A holiday tradition for me was to watch the 2nd theatrical every Christmas Eve, unfortunately my two VHS tapes finally gave out in 2016. Thanks to Viz Media, this past summer saw theatrical re-releases of all 3 Sailor Moon films. Shockingly, my local theater was showing the films subbed so my mom and I bought our tickets right away. It was so surreal seeing these films that I grew up with on the big screen, and I know non-Sailor Moon fans wonât get this, but hearing/watching the whole âMoon Revengeâ sequence in the theater was so intense. This part never got to me as a kid for some weird reason and I had no idea I was crying until my mom pointed it out at the end of the film. With the 2nd film, seeing Luna transform into a human was emotionally moving as always, just 10 times more since it was on the big screen with that nice surround sound system. That night when I got home, I didnât get any sleep since I still couldnât believe that this happened. The now 20+ years old Sailor Moon movies got released for the first time in USA theaters. This is an experience Iâm going to remember for the rest of my life.
9. Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card Arc
-     I was so excited when a sequel to Cardcaptor Sakura was announced. Like Sailor Moon, I watched this series as the heavily-edited Cardcaptors on Toonami. When I got older and learned that there was more anime out there besides the ones I saw on TV, I went back and watched Cardcaptor Sakura to get the whole, magical story and even read the manga, which I believe is the greatest childrenâs manga ever made. I loved every single moment of the new series and felt as though I were watching another episode of the classic series. The only thing that felt different was that the animation is no longer hand-drawn. (itâs still good) When you reboot or make a sequel to a series be it tv, film, or book, sometimes itâll miss the charm that made it so enjoyable in the first place. Clear Card thankfully still carries the charm its predecessor had.
10. Little Witch Academia
-Â Â Â Â Â I had started this anime around holiday 2017 but didnât finish it until early 2018. This was one of the most optimistic series Iâd ever had the pleasure of watching. I donât want to compare the two, but the inspirational message that Kikiâs Delivery Service gave me when I was 10, was the exact inspirational message you will find in Little Witch Academia. (and that I needed to hear as a 20-year-old) I was starting to get a bit depressed and losing confidence in myself with my science grades getting lower no matter what I tried, as well as other things in my personal life. After dropping Science, I had a long wait between classes, so I decided to start watching Little Witch Academia again. Seeing our protagonist Akko trying her best at flying a broom and failing was me with my science grades, but her determination to get her broom just a few centimeters off the ground was so inspiring to watch. After this I watched the other Studio Trigger works I had yet to see, and while theyâre all good in their own way, none of them have left the imprint LWA left on me. Sometimes when I get frustrated or lack confidence in myself, I tell myself Shiny Chariotâs words of wisdom that motivated Akko throughout the series: âNever forget your beautiful dreams. Believing is your magic!!â
#2018#2018 in review#The Ancient Magus Bride#millennium actress#satoshi kon#slayers anime#lina inverse#venom#the shape of water#into the spider verse#macross frontier#sailor moon#cardcaptor sakura clear card#clear card arc#little witch academia#brianna talks#slayers
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Birth of the demon
BATMAN: BIRTH OF THE DEMON DECEMBER 1992 BY DENNY OâNEIL AND NORM BREYFOGLE
SYNOPSIS
For a few years now, Bruce Wayne has been hunting down all the locations for the lazarus pits, based on the ley lines, the legendary lines of power of the Earth. After preventing Raâs from using the locations, there is only one remaining location at the north of Africa, which happens to be original pit.
Just before leaving Gotham, Bruce admits to Alfred that he is slowly dying after falling in toxic wastes on his last attempt to close the construction of a pit.
When he arrives in North Africa, Talia has already taken care of the pit, which is ready for the immersion. Batman explains to her how he managed to find the locations, and with that, he unveiled the legend of Raâs Al Ghul.
Then we go into a flashback to the middle ages. Somewhen between the plack pest and the crusades. There we meet a young Raâs al Ghul, only known as âthe physicianâ. Raâs was part of a nomad tribe, but his love for science led him to live in a city, where he got married to Sora.
Raâs was very close to the sultan Salimb, which was sometimes unfortunate, as the prince Runce would put his hands on Sora any time he wanted. In one of these events, Raâs watched how the prince won a horse race by stomping over an old woman.
Raâs pays a visit to the son of the old woman, risking being killed by him (a man we will know as Huwe) who pretty much thinks they were all involved in what happened in that race (Raâs came second). Raâs sees that the woman will die, so he gives Huwe some powders for a broth that will make her passing painless.
They are interrupted by guards that prompt the physician to the palace, as the prince has fell ill (black pest). The sultan promises anything if he manages to save his life. Raâs then goes to the place he was born (in the desert) and falls asleep to dream, feeling that the land beneath him has great power.
Itâs in this dream that Raâs has a vision of his fight against death (represented by a bat, of course), and falling into a pit that would bring him back to life. After waking up, he tells the sultan he has an idea of how to save the princeâs life. He makes them build the pit and pour the chemicals necessary.
After the prince resurrects, in a state of madness, he attacks Sora, strangling her (or something worse). The sultan makes Runce come into his own mind, but Sora is dead.
The sultan tells the guards to take the physician prisoner for killing his own wife. When he finally faces the charges in the palace, the sultan admits (between the lines) that he knows he didnât kill her, but the other option would be unbearable.
Prince Runce, in twisted irony, being the victim of the crime, sentences him to be confined with the dead corpse of his wife.
Plus, a whole tribe of nomads they arrested. All in a pit in the sand, prey to hunger, thirst and rodents.
Huew finally comes to the rescue after a few days, freeing Raâs, who managed to survive thus far. They then contact Raâs uncle, the leader of the nomad tribe, and they engineer a way of having revenge on the sultan. Raâs sends a silk to the prince that he rescued from a mass grave of merchants that were prey to the black pest. The prince of course falls ill and they search for the physician again. He then tells them to create a new pit (in a different location). But he knows there is no âpower lineâ behind this pit. When the prince comes back from the pit he is clearly dying.
The nomad tribe attacks, killing everybody but the sultan. Raâs puts him in a horse, to let him die in the middle of the desert, but he gets a flash of mercy at the last moment and kills him.
After that, the tribe invades the city, where they kill everyone. But Raâs doesnât feel fulfilled by this revenge. Instead, he feels used by his deadly enemy (Death). And now he finds himself ill from the black pest as well.
They take Raâs to the original pit and he resurrects in a rush of madness. Then settling down.
As the final part of his vengeance, he makes the tribe destroy any history, any record, anything that would give someone a clue that such civilization ever existed. He basically erased them from history (and took their language with them).
Story time is over and Batman knows Raâs is listening in the dark as they tell the story. He then proceeds to ask Talia how old she is. She reveals that she is actually young. Her mother died of an overdose and Raâs decided no to resurrect her (contradicting Son of the Demon).
We also learn that both, his uncle and Huwe remained at Raâs side over the centuries until the fatidic night when Raâs found Huwe writing his story, in the language that was considered lost in history. Raâs kills him and then goes to the pit. His uncle escapes to avoid his wrath.
Talia then finds out that Bruce has a fever and he is dying. This is the moment Batman lets Raâs know he knows he is there.
After an exchange of words the two start to battle, but Raâs wins.
Of course, killing the Batman is not enough. Bruce is so stubborn that he would come back from the dead to prevent Raâs from reaching the pit before dying.Â
The two fall in the pit and it is destroyed. Bruce comes back from the dead, without wounds. Not knowing what the final fate of Raâs al Ghul was.
REVIEW
There is a pretty well known rumor that most of the good villains are at DC Comics. And it is hard to contradict that rumor with stories like this. The novel was so well done that even the most evil people involved show some kind of humanity. Except perhaps for prince Runce, because every story needs a jerk.
Raâs al Ghul is very complicated character, he loves science, but trusts his instincts and relies on the paranormal. His actions in that city may seem very similar to what he wants to do with the world. But there is one difference. He erased that city from history, any kind of legacy they could have had is gone. Raâs on the other hand is a character that is very concerned about his legacy (there is an actual story called âlegacyâ).
There is also the idea of the bat as death. Now, I donât know who started the symbolism, but bats represent rebirth (and death). However, in Chinese culture they represent good fortune, and Raâs tribe is supposed to come from China (not sure by how many generations, as they are nomads).
When we explore the trauma Raâs went through, it is easy to imagine that the reason he wants to erase history is to not have anything that would remind him of Sora. But it just happens to be a terrible result for a lot people. In contrast, it is said in this novel that Batmanâs trauma gave his life meaning, and that he never found anything better. I think Raâs did find something better. At a certain point his goal in life changes, he is disgusted by corruption as well, but his ways are more final. He wants to rule, he wants to shape things himself. He can fix the world, but he would also eradicate most of the human population.
Denny OâNeil created this character, and it is a nice touch that he was able to define his origin in this way. This story couldnât have been told in the bronze age (the comic code authority wouldnât have allowed it and graphic novels werenât a thing). This origin is so definitive, so perfect, no one wants to change it (to be honest, the character didnât have an origin for almost 20 years, and he may never need one to be a Batman villain).
Now, Norm Breyfogle, another casualty of 2018 (a year we lost a lot of comic-book legends), at the time this novel was published he was drawing for Shadow of the Bat (I think he later jumped to Image). His Batman is very distinctive and because he was the Batman artist of the late eighties and early nineties, he took part of some of the best batman stories ever told (as this period of the modern age saw the British invasion affecting the quality of american comic-books).
This is also his first ever painted novel. The whole thing is mesmerizing. And paired with a story that just wonât let you go, this is one of the best Batman stories ever told. It just happens to be a Raâs al Ghul story.
Now, this novel contradicts Son of the Demon, and there are no reasons to believe it has any connection to Bride of the Demon. So the âDemon trilogyâ is only a trilogy in names.
I give this novel a score of 10
#batman80#norm breyfogle#batman#ra's al ghul#talia al ghul#dc comics#review#comics#1992#modern age#birth of the demon
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She's a snake.
(Inspired by @excellent-monster-girl-ideas post right here this will be continued)
Samuel wasn't one to over-complicate things, ever. In fact, this led him to be so extremely uncomplicated that he does everything in the simplest ways he can find. However don't it wrong would complicate things, so he always makes sure to do things right. He sticks with this philosophy with people, being as honest with his feelings as possible.
HE is a fellow born and raised in the many areas of the USA, coming to rest near Miami, Florida. He's one to be found lounging in his free time or doing exercises and yoga in fact. He's relatively tall, 6'3 in height and of athletic build, due to his exercise. He has short, dirty blonde hair and almost copper skin due to how often he is outside. Samuel always looks tired, or as if he just fell out of bed and threw on a t-shirt and pair of jeans on. Unless he's in business attire, when which despite his overall comfort he looks inexorably tired.
He graduated high school and went on through college to become an accountant, and a good one at that. His company regards him very well for guys work ethic however this isn't about his company. Despite all the comforts he has in life Samuel has become bored. A boredom that, nothing seems to be able to fix. Or rather, he felt as if something was missing.
As a side note, this is no ordinary world. Instead actually, here animal people and people with characteristics of what we would consider mythical creatures exist in commonplace. They live as any people do, and most coexist peacefully. Now some nations have ill feelings towards one other but most are within the friendly range.
Within that world of course lives Samuel, and within Samuel lives his strange sense of boredom and loneliness. He's tried to find ways around this, even buying a snake. It was a young Boa, and helped at least a little as his antics where cute. Samuel at first couldn't find a name for him, then decided upon Wiggler, as he seemed to like to do a little wiggly dance when Samuel made him happy. This, even if for a moment always brightens up his day, as Samuel enjoys seeing others enjoying themselves.
Now, this is hardly about Samuel's boredom, or really even his snake, rather about the time Samuel's life changed in a way that would forever affect him. This change came on a day that started off like no other, yet quickly became something that he would never forget. A day he found a cure for his seemingly incurable world of boredom.
It was a brisk winter morning, strangely chilly for Florida but nowhere near what Samuel would consider cold. As such, he was wearing a black tank-top and jean shorts, along with a gold chain necklace that was passed down from his old man. At the moment he was strolling through Miami, looking for something to do with no good ideas. The smell and taste of salt intermingled with the smells of the city in interesting ways. People walked by, some conversing about the simple things and others going about their day in solitude.
Samuel looked around to see a familiar comic shop, street performers and the not-so-occasional fellow heading to the beach. He sighed, closing his eyes and rolling his neck until he got a good pop. He thought that if things continued like this he might just stay bored. With that thought he opened his eyes only just in time to see someone suddenly appear in front of him from an alley. As he walks with a rather fast pace despite his demeanor there was no stopping the eminent collision, and they both fell to the ground.
Within a moment, multiple sensations suddenly hit Samuel, first, the feeling of him hitting the stranger then his butt landing firmly on the ground. Then, as he exclaimed out, "Ow man!" He heard three more noises, some items crashing to the ground, a feminine voice with a strange accent also exclaiming in pain and.... hissing? He decided to ignore the hissing and go to hello pick up the fallen items instead, as both him and the stranger remarked, "Sorry, sorry." And "I apologize I'm clumsy." Before they both reach to grab the dropped items and like a page ripped out of Shoujo manga he won't admit he reads Samuel's hand and the strangers touch. However her hand had light green scales, yet they where soft. As he raised his eyes to meet hers he realized she was already looking into his eyes.
She was beautiful, her face screamed kind all over it, and her eyes simply being an almost amber gem with a pupil exactly comparable to a snake's. Given a little white is visible but barely any compared to Samuel's own. They starkly contrasted her light green scales. Her hair too, was unique to Samuel. Now having snakes for hair was definitely normal for her; because, well she's a Gorgon of course. Now her hair interestingly was all brown Boa's instead of light green like the rest of her scales. All but one "strand" it seems as one singular reddish snake hair is just to the left of her nose. However, her human-like areas also had a different scale type than her more snake areas. Her snake areas where darker green than the rest, interestingly.
Her dress choice drew his eye as well, she was wearing an office suit. It only drew his eye because she looked nice in it, and no other actual reason. She had jewelry on as well, bright colors contrasting her simple office attire, much like herself.
They both paused for a moment, locking eyes. Words seemed impossible for either to form, as he could see like him she was struggling. Finally noticing that they where almost holding hands now they both pulled away quickly. Samuel turned away, first time he couldn't meet someone's eyes in a while actually, yet he wasn't as embarrassed as the way she spoke at the same time as him told him she too was embarrassed. "Woahohohey sorry there-" said he and her, "Oh my I'm sorry-" Before they both stopped, seemingly to let the other finish. She instead seems to have looked down, as his glance has told him.
They both unanimously decide to pick up the items as they both remember that she had dropped them. He hands her the part he picked up and she reasons, "Thanks for your help, but you didn't need to." He then waves that comment off, and says, "You wouldn't have if I didn't bump into you." She nods and nervously chuckles in agreement. As she does this Samuel chuckles too, a strand of her hair seemingly taking offense to this, as it bit him on the nose. Granted Samuel didnât know it was in contempt, but as it bit him he could only assume.Â
On a side note, this hurt like hell. Samuel sat as still as he could painfully saying, âOh hey hey hey your hair!â She noticed quickly and pried her own hair of his nose, which it had a painful, yet not injuring grip on. She, as he could see through his fingers and hear, was panicking quite adorably. She was inspecting his nose and seemingly reprimanding the strain? However hilarious all this is he feels like this is a chance he wonât miss.Â
âWell damn, did I do something wrong?â He jokingly asks, laughing while she takes it more seriously, just as he hoped she would. âNo, no, my hair bit you.â Looking back to him and then being stopped by him with a hand gesture, him holding his hand up in a yield request. Samuel then declares and asks, âLook I already forgive you, but if you need to apologize how about... Your name and number?â Complied by a sly proposal of his phone, already on the âAdd a contact.â page. She stops a moment.
And Samuel panics just a little, watching her hesitate.
But then she reaches for the phone, and takes it. Samuel canât be more overjoyed, and if one looked into his eyes that may be obvious, so he looks away. He then feels a soft tap on his shoulder, followed by her soft voice, âText me sometime.â It wasnât too noticeable, but she extended the x and s sounds, almost like a soft hiss.Â
She ran odd extremely quickly... well ran might be a strong word, scurry slither is a better description. Shocked for a moment, Samuel jumps up in excitement and he shouts out to... He checks his phone quickly, seeing âRiannaâ on his screen? âWhat and adorable name.â, he thinks for a moment before shouting, âHey thanks Riananana!âÂ
âThat was so fucking stupid.â He thought immediately, she seemed to think it too because she nearly ran into a wall.
It seemed everything, everyone, went perfectly silent, terrifying. However she was then thrown into a fit of giggling, Samuel couldnât decide whether or not he liked this fact but she turned back to him a moment, her smile seemingly worth it as she then waved before leaving.Â
He later changing her name in his phone to, âRiananana.â as a joke to himself, before continuing on with his day as well. He planned on messaging her, but his nose did hurt quite a lot and he wanted to call his friend and tell him before going on with it.
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hey hey, kids ! itâs daisy again ! now i usually make a point to not use talking gifs as my headers for intros,, but heâs getting so heated over trump in this one i?? couldnât?? not?? man went on a full rant and heâs not even american he is the only man i stan.Â
シ:*:シďžâ ( roger waters. seventy-three. male. he/him ) ⡠( richard harris ) has been spotted by the paparazzi in los angeles. they are a ( c ) list celebrity known for their career as a ( soloist / ex-lead vocalist/bassist of warren pieces ). theyâre known by their fans to be ( passionate, open-minded & charismatic ) but the tabloids frequently portray them to be ( egotistical, dictatorial & pessimistic ) . i wish them every success in the entertainment industry. [roger waters/pink floyd vc] (daisy. 19. est. she/her) シ:*:シďžâ
BACKSTORY / PROFESSIONAL LIFE
triggers:Â brief mention of war, brief mention of abuse, death, alcohol/drugs, suicide
so this here is rick and heâs got a long life story ! 73yrs worth ! so letâs get started!
rick grew up largely without a father, as his father, previously a sworn pacifist, died five months after he was born fighting in normandy landings
rickâs mother became somewhat of a smother, finding him to be the closest person she had left to her husband. he was put under strict rules, his mother always insisting it was for the best, warning him that the world was cruel and it was far too easy to get hurt out there !
so he spent his free time researching the war his father died in, reading the letters his father wrote, and trying to become the man his mother wanted him to be â his father.Â
he learned his father loved jazz music via one of the letters he wrote. furthermore, he learned his father had played the stand-up bass. wanting to become a small version of his father, of course he spoke to his mother about this! she refused to let rick use his fatherâs bass, instead getting him a cheap electric one, saying it was cheaper and more convenient
he met a kid, keith, who would ultimately change his life when he was thirteen years old. keith was a guitar aficionado and they bonded over music and shared experiences with wwii and lost fathers. where rick lost his to death, keith lost his to âshell shockâ.
they entered secondary school together and faced the abuse of teachers who didnât care much for corporal punishment rules. however, they met two other kids â one, john, who worked great with pianos and another, pete, who was excellent at playing the drums â and formed a band. together, they settled on âwarren piecesâ, figuring it was a nice play on âwar and peaceâ, especially during such a tumultuous time.
they put out their first album in the late 60s, 'the piper at the gates of dawnâ, with keith taking the lead. from those fond of psychedelics, it received rave reviews, and they didnât care much for any other reviews. keith kept the morale up. the year after, they released âa saucerful of secretsâ with the same reception as their previous one.
although rick was an independent man by then, whenever he saw his mother, she would constantly tell him everything that was wrong with his music. it was too drug-addled! she knew that boy keith had never been anything but trouble! he needed to quit warren pieces before he became a druggie and stopped cutting his hair!
he put up with her constant criticisms, but the day she told him his father would be ashamed, he cut her out of his life completely. he never visited her. he made sure she was never able to buy tickets to his shows. he didnât tell her his home phone when he bought an apartment. for everything heâd done to make her proud...
rick took solace in his band, primarily in keith (but five feet apart cause theyâre not gay), and was horrified when keith fell prey to the enemy of all psychedelic-era musicians. when it became more than a habit, rick brought in a man heâd met in university, robert, to become a secondary guitarist. they told keith he was just there to tour, but he was actually being used as insurance.Â
keith began purposefully putting his guitar out of tune during shows. heâd purposefully play the wrong chords. heâd purposefully start a different song from everyone else. he also became volatile and borderline delusional. he could be violent with fans. he could tell interviewers that he believed someone was watching warren pieces at all times, thus making him feel like he had to make everything perfect. then he would laugh, but not that comfortable laugh. keith shaved his eyebrows off and drew new, comical ones on.
it all ended when keith came to rick with an idea for a new song, tentatively titled âhave you got it yet?â heâd play the chords for rick to follow and practice along with, then heâd switch them up. it kept up like that for some time until, yes, rick got it and finally did what he knew would pain him: he finally kicked keith out of the band, replacing him with robert.
the years of âatom heart motherâ, âmeddleâ, and âobscured by cloudsâ were silent ones. the band didnât talk much except suggesting this chord here and there or put this word where that one is instead â all of that.Â
however, when news came out that keith had overdosed â although heâd lived â they began talking more, finding more inspiration in shared experiences again. they created âthe dark side of the moonâ from that, an amalgam of political critiques, anti-bourgeoisie anthems, and songs dedicated to the man they figuratively lost.
while they were recording a new song for an album with a concept theyâd yet to come up with, keith visited the recording studio. he was completely hairless â bald, no eyebrows. his under-eyes were pink. heâd gained weight. he looked much emptier than he had when he left. he didnât have anything comical drawn on. he was just... sad.
it broke everyoneâs heart, especially rickâs. they all had different, silent reactions. nonetheless, they were all haunted.
after that, it only seemed right to make the album largely dedicated to keith. âwish you were hereâ came out two weeks too late, as keith killed himself two weeks prior to its release.
the next album was purposefully impersonal, focusing on the politics of the time instead of on family, on keith, on love (not that they had many love songs). the entire album was tearing down everyone from just the general population of policemen to the more specific mary whitehouse. although each album of theirs after keith left had an element of acknowledging the corruption within the system, âanimalsâ didnât have a single song that didnât.
now branded as particularly political, rick decided to focus in on past politics and on what haunted him the most. âthe wallâ was born, and so was a much more dictatorial rick.
due to it being so personal, he took every measure possible to make it perfect. he fired john from the project for a few days, noting how his cocaine addiction was affecting the music... which it wasnât, really... after the temp pianist played on one (1) song, he brought john back to the project.Â
he didnât take any suggestions robert threw his way, deeming them all ill-fitting, even when they actually wouldâve fit perfectly. he forced everyone to pull multiple all-nighters in a row, making them play take after take. pete quit for a hot second before realizing he had nowhere else to go and returning to the project.
âthe wallâ was an unpleasant experience for everyone. although the concept was likely the most cohesive of all of them, following a single character (warren) and timeline throughout, working on it was absolutely horrible. for the three other members, it was being under a heavy fist. for rick, it was not only digging so deep into himself, but also subconsciously digging deep into those around him. there was a line tossed in dedicated to john that he hardly even realized (Â âgot a grand piano to prop up my mortal remainsâ - nobody home ).Â
a movie was made from it. it did great among the psychedelic audience. rick realized the main character was closer to keith than it was to himself.
âthe final cutâ was the last album he made with warren pieces for a long time. he considered it the b-side to âthe wallâ, but better. it was similar in concept, and there were some that were outtakes from âthe wallâ, but it was less focused on a storyline and more focused on rickâs own feelings of loss, dealing with them so many years later than he should have. it could almost have been a solo album, which leads...
after âthe final cutâ, richard went solo for some time. he found he had too many âartistic differencesâ from the other members of his band and only bought the two albums they put out without him because he wanted to support john whom he was still fairly close to.Â
they left on such horrible terms that he didnât reunite with them until 2013 (granted, after â94 they were all out doing their own things) when they were in the middle of recording âthe endless riverâ. given that the grand majority of the album was simply re-recording demos, he offered to help with some of the songs. most of them already had whatever work they needed from him on there from a long, long time ago, but they began talking again, anyway.
the driving force behind them being civil was ultimately johnâs untimely demise. much of the album was simply compromised of old recording of john with robert layering some light guitar over it, the occasional percussion and bass also being present.
his solo career was very c-list. his tours grossed well due to the amount of warren pieces songs he played, but only diehard fans actually bought his solo albums. it seemed everyone was either team robert or team richard.
heâs become more civil with robert and pete since johnâs death and still occasionally talks to them, but doesnât make a habit of it. most interviewers have given up on asking him if thereâll ever be a warren pieces reunion â heâs made it pretty clear that, if there is, he likely wonât be part of it.
ETC. / PERSONAL LIFE TIDBITS
rick has been married three times.Â
the first time was to a woman named anya whom he met at woodstock and it lasted for five months â much longer than his bandmates bet it would. john bet four months, keith bet two, pete bet one. he was twenty-six at the time and blames the fickle nature on that.
he married again when he was thirty-two. it was a horrible one, though â not that he saw that at the time. he wound up having affair after affair as the âgroupies threw themselves at [him]!â she was, understandably, cold to him after. rick was susceptible to breaking down while alone. she stopped answering his calls. they divorced when he was thirty-four and he included details of it in âthe wallâ, making sure his character seemed more like the villain than hers. he knew that he was responsible for it all.
his third marriage was when he was fifty-one. it lasted for five years, being the longest relationship in general that heâd ever had. truth be told, however, he never really felt anything for her. heâd felt a lot for his second wife, but heâd more than screwed that up. now that he was past the time of screwing things up, he realized the difference between love and lust. he didnât love her. she had an affair and he figured that was reason enough to divorce without creating a story about his villainy, although a few stories were created about his hypocrisy, citing his second marriage.
rick has never once claimed that the beatles were a source of inspiration for him and will make that known if someone tries to bring it up. although he admires their work, no member ever said that they were inspired by the band. it was a clichĂŠ.
although heâs still considered an english native, heâs very into politics from all around the world. his most recent tourâs main theatrics centered around anti-trump messages. ask him about the politics of any country, though â heâll give you his very informed opinion.
created a memorial for those who died in normandy landings and named it after his father.Â
reconnected with his mother after heâd had the chance to really sort through his feelings about her â after the release of âthe final cutâ. heâs grateful he did before she died... seeing as she died one year after they reconnected. rip.
is in the rock ânâ roll hall of fame. what a cool guy.
thereâs probs more that iâm missing but heâs?? a new character?? who 110% isnât based on anyone at all just very original like my mind!! so original!! that said
LIKE THIS OR HMU IF YOUâD LIKE TO PLOT !
#fames.intro#''he is SO DUMB'' i stan one (1) man#i might pass tf out soon bc it's almost 5am here but!! thought i'd go ahead and post this so it could. be out there.#it's a novella y'all.
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Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books
Happy New Year! âTis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, itâs only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, Iâll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. Iâve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but Iâm pretty sure this is the first time Iâve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isnât really a best of 2018 list so much as a Hereâs a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope youâll find something interesting here, especially if youâre looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas⌠;)
Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:
Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors⌠and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the âChristian womenâ section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:
Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)
Anyone who has read Rebeccaâs writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.
Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and Iâve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldnât stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)
Several years ago, James K.A. Smithâs Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.
Good Stories
This year, fiction reading was⌠all over the place? I donât know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were funâŚ
The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)
I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe⌠two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read.Â
Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)
Lewisâ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psycheâs jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewisâ storytelling at his best.
Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)
This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and⌠this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. Iâll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)
Poetry for EveryoneÂ
Another new reading practice this year:Â always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.
A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)
Okay, Iâm biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and Iâm a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Childâs Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time itâs anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirstenâs 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;)Â
The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. Itâs rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging â the authorâs and his parentsâ â and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)
When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem âThirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girlâ on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.
Comics!
Iâm always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.
Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)
After their fatherâs tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather⌠and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)
Yâall, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So sheâs trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)
The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)
Werenât we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Dianaâs origin story thatâs accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who canât figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.
The Classic I Finally ReadÂ
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.
Whatâs Next?
In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. Iâve got my eye on Book Riotâs Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldnât normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)
If youâre curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!
What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? Iâd love to hear all about it in the comments!
#art#books#reading#awesome of the year#readers of tumblr#reading list#favorite books#best of 2018#readers are leaders yo
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Jimmy Stewart and the WW2 Mission That Almost Broke Him
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The sound of the impact is deafening. More than 18,000 feet above the German city of FĂźrth, the World War II B-24 bomber they call Dixie Flyer has just delivered its full payload onto a German manufacturer, devastating its ability to build military aircrafts and turning the airfield into a scrap heap. But even before making the full turn out of Bavaria, Dixie Flyerâs copilot and the leader of this bombing group, Maj. James Stewart (Jimmy Stewart to his fans), is nearly lifted out of his chair.
Thatâs because a German shell (or flak) has pierced directly through the center of his B-24 Liberator. The whiplash is so intense that only harnesses keep him in his seat. Still, Stewart rises in the air; pilot Capt. Neil Johnsonâs hands are briefly shaken from the controls; and for a moment, the entire plane is consumed with smoke as it violently ascends. When Stewart finally gets his bearings, heâs able to look down and see the hole in the aircraftâthe edge of it is inches from his boot. Almost two feet in width, the gap offers a clear view through the planeâs fuselage and straight on to the German landscape below.
There is little time to worry though. The German ground defenses and their .88 shells are rattling the sky with more flak, and out of the corner of his eye, Stewart can see one of his planes, and his crews, also get hit. Theyâre not so lucky as a wing comes off and the craft falls to the earth. Meanwhile, German Focke-Wulf 190 fighters are beginning to swarm.
Stewartâs 445th Bombing Group only have each other and the tightness of their formation for protectionâthe Eighth Air Force and RAF fighters that accompanied the mission are spread too thin across the rest of Operation Argumentâs ambitious list of targets to helpâand theyâre a long way from home.
It was the fifth day of the Eighth Air Forceâs Big Week in February 1944, and Stewart was on his 10th combat mission in the air as either a group, wing, or squadron leader. This is what he left Hollywood for, circumvented Louis B. Mayer to participate in, and felt a lifetime of obligation to fulfill. It would be his finest moment in the air. It also would be the one that almost broke him.
The Mission of a Lifetime
Long before he entertained the idea of movie stardom, James Maitland Stewart felt the call of military service. In many ways, it was viewed as his birthright. His fatherâs father, the original James Maitland Stewart, served in the Union Army during the Civil War, participating in the valley campaigns of Shenandoah and serving under Gen. Philip Sheridan and a young officer named George Armstrong Custer. His maternal grandfather was at Gettysburg and Fredericksburg (he would die before âJimmyâ was born). And as a boy in the 1910s, the younger James Stewart would sit on his namesakeâs knee, hearing eyewitness accounts about the war that preserved the United States.
Around the same time, young Jim was also receiving German helmets and paraphernalia shipped home by his father Alexander Stewart, who was off in Europe serving in World War I. Jim would use these real mementos of war in the makeshift plays heâd put on at his home in Indiana, Pennsylvania.
Biographer Robert Matzen, who authored the definitive account of Stewartâs World War II years, Mission: Jimmy Stewart and the Fight for Europe, tells us this background had a formative influence on the rest of Stewartâs life and his sense of duty, which he carried with him on the train to Hollywood and then, eventually, on the plane ride out of it.
âAll of these things added up into this sort of nexus of âI will serve, I have to serve, itâs my duty, itâs my time,ââ Matzen says during a Zoom conversation. âAnd when the time came, he answered the bell. He was so fast out of the gate in the sweepstakes for World War II that he was in the first draft class. He willingly went. Itâs not that he enlisted, he was drafted, but he was happy to be drafted. He called it winning the lottery.â
Indeed, Stewartâs then-recent status as a movie star of the 1930s was practically an accident, at least as far as MGM, the studio which held his contract, was concerned. The studioâs top brass viewed Stewart as a possible character actor or background comic talent. But then Frank Capra saw the everyman appeal in Jimâs thin frame and irrepressible earnestness, and cast him in You Canât Take It with You (1938) and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)âon loan at Columbia Pictures.
Stewart of course positioned himself to have that career, just as he positioned himself to be ready to serve if his country ever needed him. Hence alongside his sense of service and sacrifice, he also carried a passion for flying. And as soon as his movie star bona fides were cemented, he celebrated by flying his personal aircraft, a military trainer, learning his way around the skies.
âThereâs so many things to think about up there that you forget things down below,â Stewart told an interviewer in the late 1930s. âFlying is something altogether different from the way Iâm earning my living. Thatâs what I like about it⌠Flying is sort of a guarantee that life will continue to have variety.â
According to biographer Matzen, it also was a guarantee heâd be ready to serve when the time came.
âStep by step, he set himself up to end up in England in a bomb group,â Matzen says. âOne of those steps was taken years before he was drafted, and that was when he became a star in Hollywood and bought a plane that was an army trainer and proceeded to learn to fly and train, and log hours on that plane so that he could be a pilot when the war came. And war seemed inevitable by 1938.â
Stewart even used his off-time to prepare for it. Says Matzen, âHe took out a trip to Europe toward the end of â39 to get the lay of the land because he thought he was going to end up fighting there.â
James Stewart and Margaret Sullavan in the 1930s about to fly in his Stinson Voyager plane. Courtesy of Robert Matzen and the Jay Rubin Collection.
The âIâm a Movie Starâ Card
That preparation served Jim well. While he was initially rejected from service in 1940âmore than a year before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harborâhis capability as a flyer, and ability to find a doctor to explain that this 32-year-old manâs unusually thin frame was due to genetics and not ill-health, kept him in line to not only be drafted early but excel in the U.S. Army Air Corps.
âHe was deferred in October of 1940 and his father was furious,â says Matzen. âHe thought that Jim was in on the deferment for some reason. And Alex called him and chewed him out, and it made the papers that his father chewed him out. But it wasnât anything. Thatâs what I think sent Jim back to talk to that doctor and get this letter written that was his carte blanche to get into the military.â That same letter was also the first record Matzen found at the top of Stewartâs military file more than 70 years later. It was the piece of paper which got him into the service and, along with his capability as a flyer, helped him rise all the way to the rank of brigadier general while serving in the Air Force Reserve in the 1950s.
That talent is also how Stewart circumvented the wishes of commanding officers and Louis B. Mayer, who likely applied pressure on the government to keep Stewart stateside during the war, essentially to make propaganda films for the First Motion Picture Unit.
âJim was furious when that happened, because that was not his intention,â Matzen says. âHe was a movie star of the first order who walked away from Hollywood. He took his fame with him and it did allow him to speak to officers that otherwise would not talk to a private and then a corporal, and then a second lieutenant. He got his way by playing the âIâm a movie starâ card. But it wasnât, âIâm a movie star, donât send me in harmâs way.â It was just the opposite.â
In November 1943, Stewart would get his wish when he was sent to England as part of the 445th Bombardment Group in the Eighth Air Force.
Maj. Stewart circa 1944 waiting for his group to return at the Station 124 control tower in East Anglia. Courtesy of Robert Matzen and the Film Stills Collection, L Tom Perry Special Collections, Brigham Young University.
Squadron LeaderÂ
Stewart almost never spoke about his experiences during the war. Just as he would refuse to ever star in a World War II picture, he abjectly refused to give an interview to the press after arriving in Tibenham, a remote and perpetually damp village in East Anglia. His reticence is even the reason Matzen was first wary of writing a book about Stewartâs war experiences. Yet, for whatever personal recalcitrance the actor had toward talking, the story left by his military file, records of his bombing runs, and even the testimonials, diary entries, and occasional published memoirs of the men under his command paint a strong picture.
As the oldest man on the plane and in the airâwith his pilots frequently being between ages 19 and 23âStewart offered a precise and measured authority that made him a natural leader who was too good to keep stateside.
Air Corps officer Beirne Lay Jr. recalled, âThings seemed to go all right when Stewart was up front. He made free use of the radio, like an aerial quarterback, to advise and encourage the other boys during a mission, and here his experience in films gave him a novel advantage. Because of his precise enunciation, people could understand him. It sounds like a little thing, but clear, quick communication between formations was of extraordinary importance.â
The talent made Stewart a natural choice to become a commanding officer in the 445th. Always from the copilot seat of a B-24 Liberator bomber, Stewart would command anywhere between 25 to 150 aircrafts, depending on if he was lead, wing, or squadron commander. But even on the days he didnât fly with the men he trained, he would brief his boys about the dayâs missions. Then came the long wait in the cold mud of Tibenham, below the radio tower of Station 124. Those hours of seeing if all his crews would return felt interminably longer than actually flying the missions.
âHe had very few of what they call milk runs,â Matzen says, âwhich were the easy ones where you hopped over the North Sea to the Netherlands or you hopped over the Channel to the coast of France, and you bombed something easy: a submarine pen here or a gun emplacement there. His very first mission was to Kiel in the very Northern tip of Germany, near Denmark, to bomb submarine pens. It was this long mission east over the North Sea.â It was a clean one on a bright December day, despite encountering countless rounds of flak.
A few weeks later, they would not be so easygoing. On Jan. 7, 1944, Capt. Stewart was wing lead of the 445th when the 389th, the lead bombing group that day, took a wrong turn over the Rhine. The formations had successfully carried out a bombing raid of the German city of Ludwigshafen, but the 389th turned at a mistaken angle that put their return flight on a path over Nazi occupied Paris instead of Tibenham.
Despite the 389th ignoring Stewartâs radio communication, the 35-year-old officer made the even-headed choice to follow the 389th and keep formation tight (as opposed to creating chaos and isolation in the sky), which came in handy after the 389th inevitably became a target of the German Luftwaffe air force outside of Paris.
American Thunderbolts and British Spitfires ended up saving the 389th that day, which still lost several planes and even more lives, but the tight flying of the 445th led the Luftwaffe to not even tangle with Stewartâs group.
It was the mission that earned Jim the rank of major. His confidence grew, yet day by day, and mission by mission, the stress likewise increased as he saw fewer faces he trained return home. For instance, on one mission, Stewartâs aircraft suffered engine troubles while crossing the English Channel and had to return home. The plane that took their place in the formation as group leader, the Liberty Belle, was shot down in their place. Only three parachutes were spotted getting out in time.
Similarly, Jim was at the barracks in December 1943 when they celebrated the 22nd birthday of his pilot Dave Skjeje. In February, he was writing to Billie, Daveâs widow of the same age, about how her newlywed husband died.
âHe was told donât get personally involved,â Matzen says. âThere is a hierarchy here and he stuck to that pretty well, but he also was the one to write the letters to families, to wives, to mothers and fathers when somebody was lost, and it really weighed on him.â
It would soon reach a tipping point.
Jim Stewart and the crew of the B-24 Liberator called Lady Shamrock. Courtesy of Robert Matzen and the Eckelberry family.
âThe Roughest 10 or 15 Minutesâ
Operation Argument (aka âBig Weekâ) was the campaign the Eighth Air Force spent the winter of 1943/44 waiting on. In the span of six days, the U.S. military would drastically ramp up its daytime precision bombing campaign and cripple the Luftwaffe ahead of what would become the D-Day invasion.
Says Matzen, âThe Eighth Air Force was determined to knock out the German aircraft manufacturing capabilities, so they looked for one week where they could have clear weather to have a series of campaigns, bombing missions to hit strategic targets related to aircraft manufacturing. Those missions were extremely dangerous.â
Jim flew the first day of Big Week over the Netherlands. It was considered a major success even though three planes in the 445th went down. One of his pilots called it âthe roughest 10 or 15 minutes I ever spent.â But it was about to get much worse for the 445th.
On Feb. 24, Stewart was standing below Station 124âs tower when the remnants of the dayâs planes limped home, some of them still smoking and on fire. Twenty-eight planes had taken off that morning, headed for the German city of Gotha, but three needed to return due to technical troubles while over the English Channel. Of the remaining 25 bombers in the air, only 12 returned to East Anglia. More than half had been shot down.
The next day, Jim would lead the 445th again in the skies for his second Big Week mission⌠over Fßrth, an area just northwest of Nuremberg. The mission was part of an ambitious push that would send 754 B-17s and B-24s, with an escort of 20 groups of Eighth Air Force fighters and 12 squadrons of RAF Spitfires and Mustangs, into southern Germany to attack three Messerschmitt aircraft production centers and a ball-bearing plant.
With the bomb bay doors open at 18,500 feet, the air was already 40 degrees below zero in a Bavarian February. After a .88 shell nearly blew a hole between Stewart and pilot Neil Johnsonâs feet, the temperature was dropping around their oxygen masks so quickly that ice began forming inside of the plane and on their gear.
Immediately after Dixie Flyer was hit, the first of several planes in the 445th went down in the hail of flak. Stewart could see as the wings of one B-24 under his command came off and the aircraft disintegrated midair. Only one parachute made it out as the rest of the crew plummeted. Perhaps it was in this moment that Stewart noted his crewâs parachutes were already sucked out of the vacuum in Dixie Flyer when the shell hit.
âHow he didnât die that instant is amazing,â Matzen says. âHe looked over to his left and another plane [Nine Yanks and a Jerk] had a shell go directly through the cockpit on one side and out the other, and he thought that the pilot and co-pilot certainly mustâve been killed, and that plane was going to go down. But they lived, they made it back too. It was crazy.â
Relief from Allied fighter planes never came, but most of the 445th somehow made it back to the English Channel that day, with Dixie Flyer and Nine Yanks and a Jerk limping home. Indeed, with its fuselage in tatters, Dixie even lost two of its engines before it saw the English coastline. While running on fumes, Johnson and Stewart had to use every muscle in their fiber to brake the collapsing plane when it finally landed at Tibenham. The pair were unaware at that moment that their plane was literally breaking apart as it touched down, with a crack ripping from the bulkhead to the cockpit.
The planeâs bombardier Jim Myers recalled, â[Stewart] was blue from the cold whistling through the holes in the plane, but he hadnât received a scratch.â At least not physically.
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As Matzen says now, âIt was very interesting. The plane cracked and Jim cracked.â No one officially ever said Maj. Stewart became âflak happyâ (the Air Force nickname for PTSD at the time) after the mission over FĂźrth, but Matzen contends no one needed to. In the first instance since December, more than two weeks passed before his CO allowed Stewart to go back in the air.
âThis was the first time that he had to miss turns in the rotation, the leadership rotation leading missions,â Matzen says. âAnd thatâs a huge deal to him. Thatâs him letting himself down in his crazy dedicated mind, in his perfectionist mind. All of a sudden, heâs not up to commanding in the air because he had been flying steady, steady, steady, then all of a sudden you look after February 25th, and he didnât fly again till March 15th, and thatâs a long time for him, and then he flew again on March 25th, then he didnât fly again at all for a while.â
The pressure of leading, and perhaps more acutely the pressure caused by seeing so many of the men he trained go down, at last got to him.
Says Matzen âHe had to just do what a lot of them did, which is go off into the country, take sodium amytal, and just chill and get reprogrammed. Theyâd sit and theyâd talk to you, and they would give you perspective and theyâd calm you down. Then they sent you back online.â
Left: 2nd Lt. James Stewart before combat missions in 1942. Right: Maj. Stewart in early 1944 after first two months of combat. Courtesy of Robert Matzen, the Margaret Herrick Library, AMPAS, and the Film Stills Collection, L. Tom Perry Special Collections, Brigham University.
After the War
Jim would fly two more missions as group leader of the 445th, including a bombing run over Berlin. However, the gaps between the final two of his dozen missions in the 445th belied that he was essentially becoming grounded. Shortly after his run over Berlin, he reluctantly accepted a transfer to the 453rd in Old Buckenham. He effectively became a chief of staff there, briefing the crews of his new group, including on the bombing runs in June 1944 that paved the way for D-Day. To his regret, Stewart did not fly on any of those tactical missions.
He eventually would make it back into the air, leading a total of 20 combat missions, although by his final mission in 1945, the Luftwaffe was all but destroyed and a near collision course between bombing groups under his command convinced Stewart and his commanding officers that his time in the air was doneâStewart even vowed never to fly again (he did not keep that oath).
When he finally returned to the States in the fall of â45, the gawkish and youthful leading Mr. Smith had vanished. Graying and gauntâfeatures which came from spending the end of the war so stressed he could only keep peanut butter and ice cream down for weeks at a timeâStewart was nearly unrecognizable to his proud parents when he disembarked off the Queen Elizabeth in New York. He was also unsure if heâd ever work in Hollywood again.
âHe was ever thinner with skin hanging from himâ says Matzen, âHe lost his hair and the rest of it went gray. Thatâs what dragged himself back from Europe and arrived in Hollywood. He thought he was only fit for character parts now.â
Like the first time he arrived in Hollywood, the only person waiting for him at the Pasadena train station in 1945 was his old acting buddy Henry Fonda. While Hank had maintained his movie star status during the early part of Americaâs WWII years, he ended up following Jim into military service by joining the Navy. But he also had taken a shorter break from the silver screen. When Stewart arrived back, the only place he had to move was Hankâs âplay house,â a small home he built in his mansionâs backyard for his children Peter and Jane Fonda. But Hank assured Jim, it had a fully functional kitchen and bar. Priorities were covered.
âThey just decompressed together,â Matzen says, âand I think Hank saw what the toll had been on Jim and just helped him. Neither of them was a big talker. So they came back together and they started building model airplanes, which is what they had done before the war. They flew model airplanes, they flew kites, Fonda had access to these war surplus military grade kites that they would take out and fly together and do their thing: not talk much, listen to records, make airplanes, and re-assimilate in the peacetime world.â
Hank also helped Jim get a new agent to adjust to the postwar Hollywood where actors could truly be free agents. Which came in handy since MGM terminated Jimâs contract after he refused Mayerâs idea of capitalizing off Jimâs wartime service with an adventure movie about him as an ace pilot called The James Stewart Story. According to Stewart, after he flatly refused to do the movie, LB called him a son of a bitch and said âyouâll never work in this town again.â
Best friends Jim Stewart and Hank Fonda in their ladies men era in 1930s Hollywood. Courtesy of Robert Matzen and the Jay Rubin Collection.
Itâs a Wonderful Life
Of course Stewart did work again, making his comeback in the film he is still probably best remembered for: Frank Capraâs seminal holiday classic, Itâs a Wonderful Life (1946). Like Stewart, Capra had enthusiastically joined the military and war effort back at the beginning, running the Armyâs Motion Picture Film Unit. The phone didnât ring for either man after they came home. And while Itâs a Wonderful Life received an initially muted box office reception (it only became a classic after it started airing on television), it gave Stewart the confidence to rebuild himself as a leading man who carried long shadows.
âItâs a Wonderful Life has become synonymous with the holidays and with spiritual rebirth and perseverance, all those things that really embodied Jim were infused into this picture and captured for all time,â says Matzen. Nonetheless, even as Stewart was able to recapture the youthful energy that made him a star in the movieâs early scenes (wearing a hair piece as he plays twentysomething George Bailey), there was something harder there as the character aged throughout the picture.
Says Matzen, âWhen he comes back and heâs so much older, he has a dark streak from the war. He has rages, he canât sleep, heâs got shakes, and he learned to channel it early on in a couple of places in Itâs Wonderful Life when he flies off the handle [on the school teacher over the phone] and when he destroys the model heâs got in the living room, and he throws things and he terrorizes his family. I was never comfortable with that scene long before I wanted to write a book about Jim and the war. I was very uncomfortable with just whatever this menace was inside of him.â
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It would become a hallmark of some of Stewartâs most popular postwar roles. Director Alfred Hitchocck particularly enjoyed taking Capraâs all-American everyman and casting him against type, leaning into the menace. Itâs there, faintly, when he becomes an obsessive voyeur in Rear Window (1954), or a snobby misanthrope in Rope (1948), and itâs all-consuming when Stewart channels Hitchâs own obsessions about molding blonde women into his fantasy idealizations in Vertigo (1958).
âStrategically, he was brilliant in recrafting his career,â says Matzen. âThe same brain that had taken all those steps to get him to Europe, he ultimately applied that brain and took steps to get his career back in order and relaunch himself.â
Capt. Stewart newly arrived at East Angliaâs Tibenham in 1943. Courtesy of Robert Matzen.
Haunted by the âHappiest Timesâ
Until the end of his days, James Stewart refused to speak candidly about the war. Once in a while, however, he would hint at the importance of those memories. He even volunteered, âI was, in many ways, far happier in the service than I was at any time in my life. Closeness and camaraderie with all those wonderful guys. Feeling I was part of a whole, part of a divine scheme, with an obligation to do my best. It wasnât playacting then. I was living it.â
Perhaps this is why he revisited Tibenham twice in his old age, making the long muddy journey from London to East Anglia, allowing his companions a few photos as he walked with his ghosts along the same ramparts of Station 124 where he used to wait for his men to return. What he thought during these reunions, however, remains a mystery. He kept his own counsel about those days. He even kept that part of himself closed off from the men he remembered so fondly.
âHe did not keep in touch with [men he commanded],â Matzen says, âbut he would be polite if they tried to get in touch with him. He did not seem to be a sentimental soul. He was too closed off for thatâŚ. They wanted him to come to their weddings or their kidsâ weddings. âOh wouldnât it be great if Stewart would come?â But nope.â
Like so much else, Stewart kept the happiest times of his life locked away with the scars they left.
Says Matzen, âHis wife talked about the nightmares. His daughter talked to me about the nightmares and about how she would find her dad sitting alone in his study just staring. So yes, it was the time he felt was the most rewarding in his life because he did get to serve his country and he called them this family, this group of people dedicated to a cause all pursuing this common goal. And that really made him feel good, being part of this brotherhood. But he remained an introvert and a closed off person throughout his life⌠I think his wife understood him and Hank understood him, and boy, I donât know beyond that. Thatâs a small group.â
Nevertheless, during the war this introvert was a part of a larger bombing group whole; it carried him through his darkest days in the airâand those that came long after.
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out of season
(also on ao3)
When he walks in, itâs like the sun pours in after him.
Jeremy swallows a lump in his throat that melts into a seed, and plants itself into the pit of his stomach, finding a home amongst frozen soil and butterflies.
In some way, heâs the prettiest boy Jeremy has ever seen, wrapped in red and just absolutely glowing like a gold sunlit photo as he stands in the threshold of the quaint, ill-lit shop. Jeremyâs heart drums against his chest, hummingbird wings in his ribcage.
(He had felt this once before. Quick pulses and seeds that grew purple spring flowers that he fostered with care.)
The boy looks out of place standing next to paint chipped walls and stacks of old glass pottery; out of season in the same way that Jeremy is when surrounded by summery orchids and roses and violets.
But the boy isnât blue winter like Jeremy, who embodies overcast skies and layers of morning frost. As he approaches the front counter, a bonfire warmth spreading with each step he takes, Jeremy thinks of autumn, crisp air and crunchy leaves underfoot. The boy tries to drown his earth tones in deep red, red knit, shoulders lifted, head down, hands in his pockets, but it doesnât hide the way the sunlight follows him like a spotlight, filtering through the windows.
Jeremy forgets himself for a moment. Forgets to shut his laptop. Forgets to straighten his posture. Forgets that he is a worker who is paid to greet and help customers, not fall head over heels for them at a glance. Â
The boy shifts in place and glances up. Jeremy blinks and pricks his thumb on a thorn he had been trimming under the counter. They both speak at the same time.
âHelloââ
âUh, heyââ
Then they both clamp their mouths shut. The boy looks back down and bites his lip. Jeremy looks down at his miniscule injury and feels his ears tinge pink with stupid, stupid embarrassment.
At least the boy has the good grace to make a sound of awkward laughter, while Jeremy struggles to gain what little bearings he had in the first place. He rehearses a line in his head, practiced protocol he uses on little old ladies who wander in on rainy days or browsing teenagers who stop by after school lets out. He snaps his head up abruptly, exhaling.
âWhat can I help you withââ
âOkay, this is might sound weirdââ
Their voices overlap again. This time, Jeremy doesnât get the chance to feel embarrassed because the boy cracks a helpless half-smile in his direction that causes Jeremyâs mind to go blank. And the seed that settled in the cold pit of his stomach does something (sprouts? takes root?) that sends a rush up his spine.
âWeâre kind of in sync, arenât we?â the boy chuckles softly, finally lowering his shoulders. He takes one hand out of his pocket to gesture to Jeremy. âYou go first.â
âI, um,â Jeremy stammers. The boy is even prettier up close, cheeks slightly rosy from the chilly outdoor air, dark mocha eyes bright behind a pair of round, outdated glasses. Thereâs a radiance about him that not even the muted grey filter of the shop can cast a shadow across.
His mouth feels dryer the longer he stares; the boy is waiting for him to say something. Say something. Say anything.
âIâm Jeremy!â
His own reaction is instantaneous: covering his face with his hands and muffling a mortified groan. The boy, on the other hand, takes a second to process Jeremyâs colossal social fumble.
âOh, yeah?â he drawls out, unsure, but recovers from his surprise quickly. âOhâWell, uh, Iâm Michael.â
And for the briefest of moments, Jeremyâs heart completely stops.
Michael.
Time moves in slow motion as Jeremy creates just enough space between his fingers to see an outstretched hand offered to him across the counter.
Michael.
The boyâs name echoes in his head, and everything in his body starts to move at once
The butterflies make his insides soar, his heart pounds a loud, steady rhythm, and that damn seed shoots up into his throat and blooms red red red with a hiccup ofâ
âMichael!â
Jeremy flinches at his volume at the same time the boyâMichaelâdoes. Self-conscious, Jeremy moves a hand from his face to flatten his hair, eyes looking anywhere but at Michael.
âI-Iâm sorryâŚI didnât meanâŚâ
âNo, yeah, I meanâŚthatâs me,â Michael clears his throat, another nervous chuckle following. âNice to meet you, Jeremy!â
Jeremy looks up just in time to see Michael taking the liberty to reach the rest of the way over the counter and grab his hand in a handshake. Michaelâs grip is firm and enthusiastic; his large hand encompasses Jeremyâs thin, bony one. He notes the heat of Michaelâs skin, warming his own clammy hand until the tips of his fingers donât feel numb anymore.
When Jeremy dares to shift his gaze upward, meeting Michaelâs eyes, his whole face starts to burn, cheeks filling with a red, red color. He manages to squeeze Michaelâs hand back weakly, and Michael grins.
For just a moment, Jeremy doesnât feel like winter or autumn or even spring. Michael makes him feel like something entirely new. A feeling that is much too fleeting the second their hands part.
Jeremy masks his disappointment by pulling the sleeves of his sweater over his knuckles. âUh, how can I help you, Mi-Michael?â
Michaelâs face lights up now that all the awkwardly placed introductions are aside. Heâs nearly bouncing in place when he explains what heâs looking for. âOh, man! When I was passing by, I saw this super rad flower in the window. The Fire Flower! You know, from Mario? Iâm not a big flower person, but man, that just seemed like such a rare find! Do youâis it for sale?â
Jeremy is already stumbling out of his stool before Michael can even finish his question, maneuvering around the counter and hiding his face so Michael wonât catch the fond smile on his lips. Itâs like Michael just keeps getting better and better.
âYeah, yeah! Of course! Let me justâjust get it for you! Hang on,â he motions for Michael to stay put while he weaves through the aisles to the front of the store. The flower in question isnât actually one with a price. Itâs more of as decorative piece that Jeremy had made a few days prior, a red daisy that he slapped some glue and foam on and then stuck it in a cheap vase before putting it in the very corner of the front window in his own feeble attempt to add some character to the otherwise dull shop.
He has to stand on his tip toes to grab the vase now, careful not to drop it or snap the flowerâs stem. He examines it over once as he carries it back to the front, checking to make sure no petals are falling off or wilting. Thankfully, the daisy is in perfect condition, and he happily holds it out to Michael, who is even more thrilled to see the flower up close.
âWoah! This is amazing! Do you guys have any more of these? Or anything else like it?â He doesnât look up from the flower, but Jeremy is still touched by Michaelâs admiration for his amateur handiwork.
Fiddling with his sweater sleeves again, Jeremy shrugs his shoulders. âSorry, itâs, um, one of a kind⌠Since I-I only made one. I didnât think anyone would actually ask about it.â
The statement causes Michaelâs head to snap up, his mouth parted in a comical âOâ shape. âDude, one of a kind? And you made this,â Michael exclaims, shaking the vase none too gently. Jeremy almost reaches out to stop him, but catches himself at the last second. Oblivious, Michael continues, âIâm talking to a real flower artist here! How much? I think I have like fifteen bucks in my pocketsâŚsomewhereâŚâ
Michael shifts the vase into one arm, shoving his other hand into his pocket to dig around for change. This time, Jeremy helpfully takes the vase for him, his heart jumping when Michael, tongue poked out in concentration, offers him a grateful glance.
âNo, uh, donât worry about it. You can just have it. Forâfor free, you know?â
Michaelâs eyes widen. âWait, whatââ
âIâm serious,â Jeremy walks back to the other side of the counter, touching one of the black eyes that are hot glued on the flower. Heâd constructed the simple design with the help of old yellow and black craft foam, and itâs hardly a job well done. âThis was really easy to make. I just used some old stuff lying around my garage. Itâs fine if you take it. Just make sure you change the water every few days or so.â
âYeah, but,â Michael runs a hand through his hair, lips pursed, âI canât just not pay for art.â
Jeremy snorts, partly because of Michaelâs exaggerated statement, and partly because talking to Michael is so miraculously easy. He definitively slides the vase across the countertop. âIâm a florist, not an artist. I can make more if I want.â
âYou should!â Michael blurts with a suddenness that shocks them both. âI wouldâI really want to see the other stuff you can make! Like, if you get any more ideas for cool video game bouquets I want to be the first to know.â
Jeremy swallows thickly again, and the sprout in his stomach, his chest, his throat tickles and prods him. He wants to be brave, to say whatâs on his mind, to live with one less regret.
He sees red, daring, warm, comforting red. In Michaelâs jacket. In the daisy. In his own cheeks. In the petals that bloom in his stomach. Red, so tempting that he knows he has to do something.
So, Jeremy takes a deep breath, feeling brave and red and entirely out of season.
âYou can always call. I-I mean, if you have an idea or a special request of your own.â
That something (that red, red something) in his stomach rewards him with a breath of air in his lungs and a giddy tingle in his limbs. Michael rewards him with the widest smile heâs seen yet and a fumbling attempt to dig through his pockets once more for something.
Finally, Michael holds out his cell phone, new contact information pulled up on the screen.
Jeremy offers a business card, the contact number for Heere Family Flowers printed in bold.
They both speak at once.
âYou can just put your number inââ
âThis is our card, you canââ
And they both clamp their mouths shut.
Jeremy goes pink again. Michael follows in suit. He retreats his hand back into his pocket at light speed, and itâs like the phone was never there in the first place.
âOh,â Michael tries to laugh off his mistake, but his voice cracks in the slightest, âYouâyou meant call the storeâŚâ
The awkward tension is palpable. Jeremyâs muscles clench, and he wants to cough up the metaphorical petals in his throat, but he forces the sensation back down. He can fix this.
âYeah, but,â he scrambles to find a pen, ducking under the counter when thereâs none to be found on the countertop. He spots a blue gel pen under his stool, bumps his head on the underside of the counter when he stands back up, and continues mission despite Michaelâs noise of confusion and worry.
The business card is packed with text on the front, but the back is blank, and thatâs where Jeremy scribbles his name, number, and a tiny doodle of Yoshi. Itâs messier than he would like, but itâs legible. Heâs just amazed that his shaky hand was even able to hold a pen correctly.
âHere.â He feels a bit breathless as he holds out the business card between obviously shaking fingers. Michael studies the small card, before slowly reaching out and taking it gently from Jeremyâs grasp. Jeremy breathes out a sigh of relief. âYou can call me too.â he says, then quickly tacks on, âIf-If you have any ideas!â
Michael, looking surprised himself, smiles down at the card. Then, as he pockets the note, grins at Jeremy as well. âIâll definitely give you a call! Thanks for everything!â
He slips a folded five-dollar bill in the empty tip jar sitting on the edge of the counter before he starts to leave. Jeremy watches him go, heart still thumping. Still feeling red red red. Â
âIâll see you around, Jeremy!â Michael calls as he steps out the door, waving. Jeremy mirrors the gesture. Then Michael is gone.
And the sun follows after.
#and there it is#in all it's florist au glory#jer waxes some real cheesy and dramatic poetic here but watcha gonna do#be more chill#jeremy heere#michael mell#boyf riends#bmc ficlet#vero writes
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