#one day i will learn to look at which blog I am posting on-- until then-- suffering

[le-fruit-de-la-passion]

Does a bad ending ruin a good story? A comprehensive guide to my feelings on the Arcane finale

*Spoilers for Arcane season 2*

So. You just finished the show, and you're staring at the screen in bewilderment. Perhaps you���re even with some friends, shouting words of confusion to the rolling credits. Try as you might, you can barely hear them, because a single thought echoes in your mind and pushes away any other:

“What the fuck just happened?”

If this happened to you, then boy oh boy, we're on the same boat. If it didn't, well, I'm glad for you friend! We might not have been looking for the same things from this story. But this is my post, meaning I will give my opinions (which are objectively correct because this is my blog and I'm the mayor here) on everything that Arcane broke and failed to deliver in its last 2 episodes.

Let's start with characters, and why none of it mattered.

Jinx symbolized the fear we all have of not belonging somewhere, of not having anything to call home or anyone to call a family. Her anger stemmed from wanting to carve a place in a society and a world that had so harshly rejected her (i.e., Vi leaving her). Her existence was a huge middle finger to all that refused to let her live, a fight to build herself something wholeheartedly hers (hence her being an inventor). It was proof that despite the world telling her she was better off dead, she would never stop fighting to prove it wrong.

… and she died.

She died, and that means all the suffering she went through to exist simply amounted to nothing. She left nothing behind either, no trace of a legacy, something that would have left her mark on that world. Isha, the child she raised as a daughter, died. Silco, who she taught love and care to, died. Vander, who she brought back from years of trauma and torture, died. Jinx fought so hard to live, and in the end, it was as if she hadn't lived at all.

Viktor is most certainly the character that made me the angriest, because of how attached I am to the person he is in season 1 (and even the first two acts of season 2 to an extent). Everything that made him so beautifully complex… gone, in about 10 minutes. There was NO reason to make him the surprise ultimate villain. Viktor had always, always been a pacificist. That's why he was so adamant Hextech not be used as a weapon. That's why every time there were chances to test hextech to hurt, he tried to learn how it could heal. Yes, his fusion with the hexcore had changed him; but NOT into a man who didn't care for human life. He wanted to help all the hurt done to his people. People like him, living day to day in the undercity, but who had never gotten a chance to crawl out of their hell. His community was about HEALING, not controlling. The very IDEA that he would accept killing innocents and ally with Noxus, the warmongers, is so ridiculous I could genuinely laugh if it didn't make me so angry. The show needed an easy, black-and-white showdown to conclude a story that would have needed so much more time to tell. And they chose Viktor. Because it was the easy way out. It was the perfect foil to the return of the Golden Boy. And that PISSES me off.

There is this really shitty concept in popular media that the handicapped/chronically ill character is always in the pursuit of being “cured” and that they need outside help to realize “that their imperfections make them perfect”. Fuck. You. As someone with chronic illness and who just finished beating blood cancer, fuck you. That realization, that you're you with every part of your being, even the ‘bad’ ones, cannot come from outside. It's YOU who needs to learn it. It's you who needs to discover how your body and your mind are so much stronger than you previously thought them to be. Not your lover, your family, your friends, or God forbid your able-bodied lab partner. You. Others may tell you as many times as they want your illness doesn't define you; it won't matter until you, yourself, have understood why and have accepted it. Having someone swoop in and “fix” Viktor with a “you don't have to change uwu” is just….. so reductive I can barely find the words for it. That was VIKTOR’S path to find, and not Jayce’s role to find it for him.

Also… Viktor wasn't trying to ‘fix’ his leg; he was trying to find a cure to a deadly illness ravaging his body and no doubt the bodies of many in Zaun. The HELL is the message here??? That he should have just rolled with it because the deadly illness was part of him??? Again, as a cancer survivor. Fuck right off.

Of course, I can't just ignore the hideous get-up they put him in at the end. The man who laughed at Jayce's narcissism….you want me to believe… he would put on that fucking edge lord costume and not DIE of embarrassment??? The design makes no sense from a narrative standpoint either: if his cane has become the sceptre, why is he still keeping it? He doesn't need it anymore to walk, and it's a reminder of his weaknesses as a human that he apparently hated so much. Why the hell does he keep it then? And the hexclaw. Where did that bad boy come out from?? Did you all see a secret extra bonus scene where he steals it from the lab, because I sure didn't. It doesn't add anything to his sets of powers either it’s… it's a fucking laser gun. WHY. And oh sweet god that mask… there would have been so many ways of designing a mask more meaningful than the one from LoL. This one is just. A piece of metal he spawned in embryo. Get it? Because he's made of metal now and also hiding his face means no more humanity? Get it?? Of fucking course you do, because this was the easiest and worst possible way they could have integrated the mask.

Viktor and Jayce had a fantastic dynamic in that Viktor had started out as the loner, the underdog scientist from the slums; while Jayce was the leader figure, living in comfort that made him attachingly naive, his face plastered on posters stroking his ego. The shift is delightfully slow, as Viktor gains in confidence and determination to see his invention through no matter what, while Jayce is confronted with harsher and harsher truths about the world he so blissfully ignored. By Act 2, they have fully switched roles: Viktor is now the leader figure, a symbol of the future for the people, while Jayce is desperately alone, both physically in the hexcore anomaly, and mentally in being the only one who has seen the devastating future. Excellent stuff. What would be a great way to push these parallels further and to show the complexity of these characters, and perhaps how they can balance each other out? Well, Fortiche sure didn't know, now Viktor is the bad bad guy and Jayce is mister hero. Zaun bad, Piltover good. All nuance, gone. Proving that indeed, the man from poverty and inequality turns out evil, while the one from comfort and wealth turns out to be the hero of the story. The whole “giving a warm speech to the bad villain about how you care for them, somehow immediately changing their ways, and dying together to save the world” can work well in shounen anime where friendship is magic, or in the Ben 10 live-action movie (yes, that's the plot, I thought that wasn't deep when I was like 7 years old so imagine now), but not in a show like Arcane. Not with the ethical and moral nuances they have accustomed us to.

And now, let's explore...

Plotholes and incomplete storylines galore.

Ekko’s tree and the contamination of Zaun from Piltover? Fuck that. The huge showdown between the two opposite yet sister cities, like Jinx and Vi, that has been built up for two seasons? Fuck that. And for what?

For the Noxus sequel teaser.

Mel’s plotline about finding her mage origins had NOTHING to do with the main plot. Absolutely nothing. It added 0 twists or intrigues to the story, and served no purpose except making her a deus ex machina for a broken ending. All it was there for was to lay the base for a following show on Noxus and the Black Rose. Time that could have been spent either giving Mel a proper arc related to the plot, or giving all the other rushed character arcs more development.

Finally, and I deeply regret having to say this, but… the end of Vi and Cait's relationship was majorly disappointing to me. As an LGBTQ+ person myself, who feels attraction to women, it was a delight to have such a realistically portrayed w/w relationship on screen. Popular media tends to portray m/m relationships as these doomed, sinful feelings between two repressed guys, while w/w relationships are shown to just be all sunshine and rainbows and teddy bears, because two women together are a cute little accessory to have on screen. It’s non-threatening. But not Cait and Vi; their bond was raw, and rocky, with violent lows and passionate highs in a world that seemed to want to keep them apart. Their separation and the introduction of Maddie showed the reality of a w/w relationship, where fights and cheating ARE things that happen, because they're two adult women with different beliefs, objectives, an trauma. Putting them back together, as if nothing had happened, without giving us anything about how their relationship would have evolved from the breakup? I'd never thought I'd say this, but it's too easy. How about Caitlyn's literal descent into fascism??? We’ll just ignore that? Vi will just ignore that?

As with everything else, this last part of Arcane destroys all the complex emotions that exist between these characters, the resentment, the anger, the frustration, built upon years of different social conditioning… gone. Because they had 2 episodes left to wrap it up, and there was no way to make a coherent and natural transition to them getting back together with that kind of time. And can I just say. The decision to have Vi, symbol of Zaun, go down on Caitlyn, symbol of Piltover and enforcers, in a prison cell that has held innocent Zaunites and represents their complete lack of freedom as individuals by a cop state that oppresses them….. yeah, bad. So bad.

And… the multiverse. Yup, they went the multiverse route. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing: the concept of multiverses itself is interesting in a vacuum, and quite a few properties have managed to make it work coherently. But it has been terribly overused and bastardized in serialized content in the last few years, for the simple reason that it's extremely practical. Why make a new, original series when you already have worlds and characters that are developed, and come with built-in fans? It's a money-saving hack! Why dedicate yourself to an ending that is meaningful in its finality and wraps the story properly when you can just say “It's just one ending in the multiverse!”. It takes away any accountability to the fans, and leaves the door open to a potential other version of the story! The perfect combo!

…except in practice, it comes off as lazy in a medium where that trope is overly saturated (don't start me on Marvel), and like a cowardly way of escaping from the responsibility of really taking the time to craft a good, solid ending to end your story.

So, with all that said: does it ruin Arcane for me? No, absolutely not, and I don’t think it should be for you either. The intricate artistry and raw talent that went into making the first season (and I would say a majority of the two first acts of season 2) is undeniable, and will stay undeniable. Nothing can touch that story. It will forever be one of my favourite pieces of animated media, which is saying a lot because I'm currently getting my master's degree on that topic.

However, it does give Arcane, as a whole rather than two separate seasons/entities, a very bittersweet feeling that is hard to forget. Thinking of what could have been, just if a little more time had been given to the minds behind the masterpiece you so loved… it's its own form of heartbreak. Academics have even compared it to experiencing a form of death of a loved one, before they ever got to reach their fullest potential and live the life they deserved. It may sound dramatic, but the feelings you feel in this moment, watching the horrible end of a fiction you have so much love for, are real. No one can take those away from you. You're allowed to grieve the loss of something that meant a lot to you.

Tldr; No, Arcane is not a bad series because of its rushed and incomprehensible ending. As they say, it's all about the journey, not the destination, even if that's one of the parts we tend to remember the most. And I don't know about you, but this was one of the best journeys I've ever been on.

[inklessletter]

Congratulations, first of all, for reaching the milestone 💐💐💐 you deserve every single follower, and then some. Your art is always so pretty and I love how you bring us along during your process.

Secondly, would you like to make art based on this fic of mine? I'm thinking right at the beginning, when Eddie falls to his knees on stage and he and Steve have their "moment".

Thank you for hosting this fanart party ❤️

Steve tilts his head, and Eddie prepares for a kiss. He gets no lips, only tongue; Steve licks his mouth, from one corner to the other.

🎸🎸🎸

@2btheanswertothequestion

This one was SO MUCH FUN TO DO. I had trouble finding good references for the ambiance, but I love the result. Please, go read the fic, it's so good.

I know that I don't know many of the users that sent me requests a few weeks ago, but I've got a tiny story to tell about this one (I'm getting to know you little by little and I'm falling for every single one of you, you talented fuckers). They are the reason I am in Tumblr. It happens that I created an account many months ago, and didn't know how to use this, I just clicked "follow" to the tags and the blogs ST/Steddie related that posted fics and arts, and on my way to work, in the bus, I read the first chapter of a fanfic that made lose my stop (literally, I got late to the office that day).

Sad thing is the next time I opened the app, the fic was gone. I just remembered a few things and god knows that the search bar in this site works... well, works. Sometimes. I couldn't find it. I made it my personal goal to actually find this fic again, and this user, whose name I didn't catch because, again, I didn't know how to use Tumblr. This user pulled a full Cinderella on me, reading with intent every fic until the shoe fit. And I found it by mere coincidence, because they posted the third part, and I was like "WAIT IS THIS IT?". And it was it.

In the meanwhile, I actually completed my account, like you know, trying not to make it look like a bot (that I learned that it was a bad thing that could get me blocked), I put a profile picture, I made it decent, I learned how to use Tumblr (a bit). So, you see. This user, my beloved @2btheanswertothequestion is the one to blame that I actually stuck in this place. If you're wondering which one was the fic that got me so hooked up it was November Paramedic. (Here the AO3 link). Go read it, you're gonna love it.

(I'm kinda mad that they didn't asked me to draw the actual picture of the calendar, though. I have some ideas, I might draw it the future, because when I say that I hold this fic very close to my heart, I mean it.)

I really, really hope you like it, I worked hard on it and I did this with every bit of love stored in my heart ❤️❤️❤️

[the-architect-of-ferrari]

hey guys! I was formerly fellow-meme-lover but I have retired that name after like 7 years. I am now @the-architect-of-ferrari in honor of that one article about Carlos (pictured). I’m a little surprised no one had taken that username yet but I’ll gladly have it.

I decided to change my name because I want it to reflect the main focus of my blog moving forward: Carlos Sainz. This is also going to be a bit of a goodbye to Ferrari post and clarifying what my blog will look like after AD24. So continue reading after the cut if you’re interested.

I am a fairly recent f1 fan, I only started casually watching late into the 2023 season, and it wasn’t until the winter break that I started getting serious about f1 and more involved.

It was during this time that I discovered Charlos, and they were my absolute favorite duo on the entire grid. I remember thinking the entire Ferrari team was a giant mess, and that the only thing they had going for them was their driver pairing. I spent the off-season watching old interviews with them, seeing posts about them on tumblr and twitter, and learning everything about them that I could. I initially liked Charles more, as he was the first driver I really learned about, and I will always be fond of him for gifting me this sport and fandom that means so much to me.

Over time though, I naturally gravitated more towards Carlos. I couldn’t explain it but there was something about him that connected me to him, and soon his happiness was my happiness and his sadness was my sadness. When the news of Lewis’s move to Ferrari dropped on February 1st, I was devastated. I could only think of how Ferrari was Carlos’s dream and it was now coming to an end. All season I’ve been dreading having to make this post, having to say goodbye, but I can’t put it off forever. I truly believe that the team hasn’t done right by Carlos in a lot of ways, but it was his dream, and I want him to be happy more than anything else, and for his sake I sincerely hope that a return to Ferrari is possible one day. I think he will be happy to know that regardless of what the future holds, he will always be a part of the team’s history, and everything he gave to them will not be forgotten.

As for Charlos as a duo, they were always the duo I loved the most of the entire grid. It wasn’t always easy at times, with their occasional fights, with the frequent fan wars, and the accusations of it being a PR friendship. But I think if you went back and watched old videos of them together, you can see the fondness in their eyes clear as day, and it lingers in their familiarity with each other to this day. Four years as teammates isn’t nothing. I don’t know that anyone will be able to make me laugh as hard as they did, or cheer me up on a bad day the way they did. In the future, even if they’re not teammates I will still try to post about them as much as possible, even if it’s a 3 second clip of them chatting at a driver’s parade or something idc.

But with that said, my no.1 driver from now on will always be Carlos, and so what I post will reflect that. As a Charlos fan, I was reluctantly a Ferrari fan because that is the team they drove for, but now I will be with Carlos 100%. I will no longer be solely posting about charles and carlos, and instead will post things more like what i have been posting lately, which will include other driver pairings like versainz. I’ll also just post general f1 stuff sometimes if i think i have something important to say. But mostly i will be talking about Carlos.

For now though, let’s make the rest of this season count. I’ll be with you always, Carlos.

¡Vamos, toro!

[simpjaes]

One of my fav enha writers elix8r on here just announced that they were leaving and it just made me so sad to see someone leave due to people not appreciating their work and it made me think of you and how you’re literally one of my only fav writers who haven’t left this site and I hope you never do cause ily so much and I was wondering how we could show you more appreciation for giving us amazing fics? Like I know you’re loved by so many people and get good numbers on notes but still like I don’t want to lose you too so lmk if there’s anything else we can do for you to make you know we appreciate everything you put out here 🥺

; - ; time for transparency, and a HUGE rant. But first, thank you so much, im so honored you said this to me <3

there are plenty of ways you can support me! For instance, i do have a patreon set up for eventual writing [which will still be posted here too for the most part], that won't happen until i have more time outside of school. I also do have cash app! Which i prefer over ko-fi because i don't like my personal information shown ;-; you can ask me for my cash app tho!

Other ways include simply telling me how my fics make you feel, or if you like them. You are never obligated to tip me money for what I write, and i will alwwwaaays want feedback and reblogs!

that being said: am i leaving tumblr?

I've been weighing my thoughts lately, and i've boiled it down that i really don't know how I feel about being here after I started writing four years ago. I don't like the way people feel entitled to access my life, and who I am. [remember that blog who posted my selfies, and other writer's selfies just so people could see it? without our consent? example number 2398749382, truly]

I don't like the cliques [even if we all end up in one whether intentional or not, some of you are just fucking mean], i don't like the moral police, i don't like the performative activism, i don't like the copying even if on a tiny level, i don't like how people treat me like a celebrity. I don't like how I can't monitor closely for underage people who should not ever be looking at my blog, let alone reading work that i did NOT write for them. the main thing though, really is the entitlement from people, and the blatant nasty intentions a lot of people have here, especially between writers.

It's unbearable sometimes.

Every day, i have to be talked out of deleting both of my blogs and writing elsewhere specifically for the freedom to stop walking on egg shells. Then again, some days, like today, i like it here.

So, while I was recently just waiting to absolutely disappear without a word here, today I feel good. Today, I feel like staying wouldn't be too awful.

I just want to make something clear to people while I'm talking about it. If i stay here, i will never care so deeply about fan fiction, or people's opinions on it outside of feedback on my work. I care about it as a creative process, and a skill to be learned, that's it. I do not care what other people read, i do not care what they write, i don't care who jerks off to what. I will never, fucking ever take fan fiction so seriously that I feel hatred towards another person. unless it involves minors/underage people, of course. that's entirely different for me personally. For the most part, i genuinely only care about what I'm doing and what i can do better.

If i stay, i need people to stop expecting me to be a spokesperson on literally anything and everything. I am a person who is genuinely struggling just to get out of bed. I am a person who is studying and doing home work more than I would be working if I had a full time job right now. I do not have time or energy to care deeply the way others do, and even if I did have that time and energy, i put it on things i love. Like writing my own fics and not giving a fuck about what anyone else is doing.

This blog is my space. It's my world. I'm sick of expectations for me to make it anything more than what it is: a goddamn kpop smut blog.

This website is excruciating to open sometimes. but on days like today, i really appreciate it and love it here.

I will stay for now, but don't be shocked if, in the future, i leave without even saying my goodbyes. I have things outside of this blog that matter to me, and I will never let myself feel unhappy doing something i love, that's more for me than any other person in this world who wants to scream their opinions.

**edit 11/20** and with the AI apocalypse apparently happening here, it really does feel like....bad to be here. i don't want people who don't write to put themselves on the same level as real writers. y'know, the ones who put love and effort into their work. It's very upsetting to see the amount of people who don't care if it's being used.

especially like....knowing those fics get hella interaction because it seems readers, even if they don't know it, seem to value false writing over very real writing. oof. anyway

as long as my writing stays fun and positive, i will be staying.

[gotham-daydreams]

Hi! I love your gothan platonic batfam series, but every time I read it I can't help but wonder what Duke's reaction to all this would be. He's one of my fave batfam characters, do you have any plans to add him in later chapters?

Just curious, no pressure. Hopefully I didn't come off as pushy. (sorry if i did)

Have a good day! <3

Hello! And you didn't come off as pushy, no worries :]

I'll be honest and admit that I have thought of adding Duke to the series- but if I was going to do that in a more organic manner, and just generally in a way that makes sense- that would've been in Chapter 2 or 3. Though trust me I am still debating... and the only reason I'm hesitating is because I don't think I'd be able to capture his personality, or really just him as a person very well.

Granted, I do inherently view yandere versions of characters as OOC for... various reasons (some of which are obvious, especially when it comes to the Batfam and DC characters in general), but I do try to keep very close to the character (or my general understanding and interpretation of them for things like DC, who have multiple canons and such) and write them in a way that does still compliment or adhere to parts of their personality or overall mindset... if only generally. Like Bruce and his closeness to those around them yet the distance he so desperately tries to keep - not for himself, but rather those around him. His strive for justice and to do good to make up for a sin, a fault that isn't his to forgive or one he hardly had anything to do with and so on. How that makes him inherently protective if only at a distance and in silence. How he tries to keep himself away from others, if only to protect them, and yet finds himself surrounded anyway. Etcetera etcetera.

Case and point- I don't have a really good graps of Duke's general character and aren't confident enough to write him into the Not Series at the moment- and by the time I do, it may feel shoehorned in and just not as great as it could be (even if a line I wrote in Chapter 1 was meant to be him..). Though I am learning more about him! And if anyone would like to share what they know and their interpretations of his character they have and such while I still have asks open, I'd love to read and see them :]

In future series', oneshots, and just general things I plan to post and share on this blog, Duke will very much make an appearance and we'll reach 10 yanderes for the Batfam instead of just 9. (Some series' which will definitely be longer than the Not Series.)

On that note, I have thought of how Duke would feel (and some others earlier on have asked a bit as well), and from the little I know of him, this is how I think at the moment he would generally react/feel (though it may be inaccurate and such because of what I mentioned previously 😅):

I think he would start out as one of the many others that actually live in the manor or just so happened to be there at the time — and that being he feels guilt first (unlike the only person in that house who doesn't/didn't) and just... wouldn't know what to do. The time passed and everything the reader has done sort of leaves him stumped, and just stuck processing until everyone's rushing out and around to find you and before he knows it- he's following out with them to do the exact same thing.

I think he leaves before everyone else, and considering that he does daytime patrol, it isn't as odd to see him out and about anyway. Though the frantic-ness of his movements and actions are weird, and for once, more outwardly, Duke panics.

He feels bad, of course he does, and more similarly to Cass- he can only wish that he could do things with out. That he wants to be in the room when you got your awards or had been there through the hardships he knows you undoubtedly faced without even having to see the medkit like Bruce does in Chapter 2. So he goes out to look for you, but not so much for your safety and more so to just... apologize. To say every little thing he can in hopes to make things better, to lessen the damage.

And of course, just to see you.

More than anything Duke wants to make it up to you right away, but has half a mind to know he'll have to take things slow. He's still sensible to some degree, if not only partially of half-insane just like the rest of the fam (minus a certain blonde and red head who are only a sliver of the way there), he knows it'll take time, that you probably won't forgive him right away. But that's okay! He can live with that, he understands that, but he just needs to see you. Just once- if only to see who you are now and the person you've become. If only to say an apology that might fall too flat or feel too empty considering the little he knows about you.

Just once. No matter how awkward it is or how much he regrets it later. Just once.

Though, despite that he is divided on bringing you home. It would be nice, sure, but by the time that discussion comes up he isn't sure that's the best idea. Even less so with how those that do want you home seem to want to go about it, and just generally the kind of people they are. Impulsive. Strong. Threatening- they'll scare you and do more damage then help ease tensions, and he doesn't want that to happen. You don't deserve that- even if he barely knows you. Duke can feel it, you don't. Even then, they help people out, not hurt them, not like they did with you.

Duke wants to spend time with you, but he's willing to do that outside of the manor if it means making you more comfortable and warm up to him a little more. As long as he sees you he can't complain...

So when Dick messes up, he's upset. Like everyone else besides Cassandra he doesn't know what happened but knows that something absolutely went wrong. Dick usually wasn't so obvious about things like that either, but with how hurt and just... broken he looks, they could all tell. Duke could tell.

Granted, he's not upset enough to change his mind, and if anything it definitely makes him more adamant about not bringing you home yet, but he can’t find it in himself to be fully against the idea, even then.

The one thing he wants to do after that, if anything, is more determined to make things right.

If Dick of all people couldn't make it up to you, then hell, maybe Duke can.

[fivestar-outlaw]

New Horizons (Park Seonghwa) (Ch.1)

Chapter 1: Turnips

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Fem!Reader

Words: 2.0k+

Warning(s): None

A/N: aYO first story on this blog, hello everyone. I hope you enjoy this self-indulgent series. I lub Seonghwa so I knew he had to be the first one posted here.

Reader is implied to be living in the US bc uh TIMEZONES ARE FUCKY and i didnt realize how reliant i was on mine (PST) when looking up KST

Italicized is English, just an fyi

Summary: Attempting an all-nighter while playing Animal Crossing alongside your bias, you didn't expect your turnip prices to be such a high amount... nor did you expect Park Seonghwa to actually accept your offer to sell his turnips on your island.

Series Masterlist | Navigation

You take a small bite of your snack before you made your avatar walk around your island. Seonghwa's livestream was playing in the background and he, too, was playing Animal Crossing. You made sure to stop and talk to the villagers who you came across outside, pull up some flowers before they overwhelmed areas on your island, and dug up some fossils, which you set aside to get assessed later. Right now, you planned on taking your turnips you bought from Daisy Mae to Nook's Cranny. With the help of time travel, your game was set during the day rather than matching the bold 4:40 am on your phone.

It was a chill all-nighter. None of your classes assigned homework over the weekend, you had the weekend off from your part-time job, your roommate was out of town until Sunday... You didn't mind ruining your already rocky sleep schedule to play Animal Crossing along side your bias.

Before you got into Ateez you already had been learning Korean, figuring having a language degree would help you with future careers. You had been a fan of Ateez for awhile. You adored all of their personalities and enjoyed their music, but for some reason you gravitated towards Seonghwa. You then started collecting albums when you had the extra money and made sure to check into their live streams when you could. Seonghwa even pulled you out of your Animal Crossing burn-out too which you were grateful for.

Currently, you finally got your avatar to Nook's Cranny, your turnips in tow. It was the last day to sell and the previous prices were all bellow a hundred bells. So you prayed to the Lord Tom Nook and hoped for good prices. You tapped the check prices and waited eagerly to see how much they would take for the turnips. Your eyes widened when little Timmy answered the prices.

660 bells.

You immediately sell your turnips to them, making a lot of bells in the process. Finally, you could give Tom Nook a sizable amount of money towards your last loan payment.

Seonghwa's voice, sounding frustrated, caught your attention. You looked at the livestream and saw he was holding his switch up. You could make out that his turnip prices were a mere 34 bells and he mentioned the prices have been like that for him all week.

"That sucks." You murmured to yourself.

For the hell of it you quickly type up in chat that you'll let him come sell his turnips and added the price being offered. You saw how fast the chat was going but you decided to tempt fate. After double-checking for any spelling errors you hit send.

The chat stuttered for a bit, your message right in the middle. You figured it was on your end but then you saw Seonghwa's eyes widen and watched as he scrambled to touch something on his phone. He spent a few moments typing and then hesitating on whatever he just did. You heard him sigh, tapping his phone before setting it down off screen in front of him.

Then, you saw a notification pop up on your end. Curiously, you opened it and when you did, your eyes nearly popped from your head.

Seemed as though Seonghwa, through the Ateez account, direct messaged you.

'Can I sell my turnips after stream?' It read. You immediately go and click the profile, just in case it was someone trying to pull your leg. All that did was lead you back to the official account. You tried it again a few more times just in case but it was the same result.

Seonghwa actually messaged you.

You could hardly contain your excitement coursing through your veins. You took a deep breath, switched your phones keyboard over to Hangul and carefully typed up your response despite your shaking hands. You had to pause several times on what to say but after a few minutes you responded.

'Sure! Just let me know when I should open my island and I can send you a code. I apologize for any mistakes in this message. I figure it would be more comfortable for you ^^.'

You hit send and put your focus purely on the livestream, your game forgotten about. You watched as a few moments passed by and saw Seonghwa glance towards his phone. A small smile grew on his face as his eyes trailed back to his game.

You focused back on yours. You got those fossils assessed (all were ones you already had), visited Brewster, found a gyoird, and stopped by at Marshal's house. You still cringe at how you accidentally told him yes when he asked to move. You caught it too late and the game saved the decision. Your little squirrel you spent hours island hopping for was leaving.

"I'll miss you buddy." You sigh to yourself as he told you he'll miss the island. None of your friends still played nor had space on their islands to save him for you. Maybe Nookaz-

"Yes!" You heard Seonghwa exclaim and you glance back over to his stream. "Cephalobot wants to move." He had such a big grin on his face as he proceeded to tell the robotic octopus villager to move. You couldn't help but smile along with him before focusing back on your island.

About an hour passed when Seonghwa said goodbye to the stream, making a heart with his hands, before shutting it off. You stifle a yawn and grab your phone, bringing up the messages between you and the offical Ateez account. You weren't sure if you were to message first or if you should wait for him to message you. You stood up from your chair and stretch your limbs, hearing a few satisfying pops.

You glance down at your phone and promptly sit back down.

'Ready when you are.'

You smile and start heading to your airport to get a code for him when you passed Marshal's home. You stopped your avatar when an idea popped into your mind. You picked up your phone and quickly typed up a message.

'If you don't mind time jumping to get an empty spot on your island and don't mind swapping friend codes, I have Marshal ready to move if you want him. I accidentally said yes when he asked to move. Only if you want to of course. :)'

You hit send, took a deep breath of air, and looked away from your phone, too nervous to see his reply.

"The worst he will say is no. And understandably so." You say to yourself under your breath. You didn't want to even look at the message but decided to calm your nerves. You turn back to your phone and saw he messaged you back.

'That would be great. Thank you, Atiny. Give me a few more minutes please.' You then saw he sent his friend code.

"Okay, what the hell?" You couldn't believe it. "I guess he really is serious about this game." You chuckled and pressed the home button. You typed in his friend code, making use of the Switch's touch screen and sent him a friend request.

You saw you were immediately added back. You take another deep breath and open your game back up. You went to your airport and opened the gates up for friends. You let your avatar stand idle as you waited. You figured he'd have to time travel a day to get Cephalobot in boxes and then travel again to have an empty plot for Marshal.

You got up from your spot and quickly got a drink of water. You couldn't stop the yawn escaping past you lips, the lack of sleep is starting to hit. You quickly return to your couch and plug your switch back into the dock since the battery was getting low and grab your controllers, the game appearing on your TV screen now. You unlock your phone and opted to lay on your side on the couch, viewing the new message Seonghwa sent.

'Almost ready. Hopping back on now.' His message read.

'Gates are open :)'

A minute passed when you got the notification a friend was arriving to your island. After the little animation finished you see his avatar walk into the airport. You quickly do a little wave and walk out, seeing he is following. You lead him to your Nook's Cranny and wait outside as he goes in to sell his turnips. You simply wait outside so you could take him to Marshal next when you see another message pop up.

'Can I buy the cabinet?'

'Go ahead. I am outside and will take you to Marshal when you are done.' You smile and do nothing to stop another yawn from escaping.

A few moments pass and his avatar walks out of the store. He stays still for a moment before he does the little 'joy' reaction, which you return. You then start heading to Marshal's home with Seonghwa in tow. If sudden tiredness hadn't washed over you, you'd probably much more outwardly excited.

You finally get to Marshal's home and watch as Seonghwa's avatar enter; you opted to stay outside again. Another yawn left you and you had to blink a few times to keep your eyes open.

"I'm just not built for all-nighters anymore..." You mumbled to yourself. You realized sitting up may help keep you awake, but you were just too damn comfortable laying down as you were. Your eyes droop but you were trying your best to stay awake to see him off your island.

You hear the door in game open and close and see Seonghwa's avatar leave. He did another joy reaction and stayed like that for a moment. You get on your phone again and saw he had sent a message.

'Thank you again, Atiny <3 your island is cute.'

'You're welcome, Seonghwa'

You watch as his avatar heads back into the direction of your airport, though, you did not stay awake long enough to hear your game let you know that a friend has left the island.

---

You woke up about eight hours later feeling like you were hit by a car. You couldn't tell where you were for a moment, what time it was, what year it was,and your stomach ached with hunger. Finally, your eyes fully adjusted to being awake, though you didn't have the energy yet to lift yourself up off what you know realized was your couch.

You lay there contemplating life, cursing your past self for trying to do an all-nighter. You glance around and saw your Switch controller and phone on the floor. You then look to your TV and saw it was off. You had a half drank glass of water on the coffee table and an almost finished snack.

You finally sat up, making sure to stretch your limbs. You felt more awake now. You pick up your phone and curse at the low battery life. Quickly you unlocked it and then nearly dropped your phone, the messages between you and the official Ateez account were still open.

You played Animal Crossing with Seonghwa.

You played Animal Crossing with Park Seonghwa.

You take a deep breath to calm every emotion hitting you and get up to turn your Switch back on. You grab the controller and immediately look to your friends list.

He still had you added.

"Should I unfriend him...? He didn't unfriend me but..." You sighed. You go in and change the time and date to match real life before opening the game up. You quickly press through the usual Isabelle announcements.

When your avatar exited the house you noticed you had in game mail. You figured it was probably a goodbye letter from Marshal. You had your avatar open the mailbox and to your surprise, Seonghwa had sent you a letter and a present.

'Thank you again for letting me sell my turnips and for letting me have Marshal. Let's send gifts!'

You favorite the letter and take the present. You opened it and felt immediate excitement. He sent you a piece of artwork you knew you for sure didn't have for the museum. You could barely contain your excitement at the prospect of being Animal Crossing buddies with Seonghwa.

[hornytome]

Quick update + larger context for this blog

Heyyyy :-) Just wanted to update the folks on here and let you all know I’m doing very well. Edith and I are still together, in love, and she’s making Pinterest boards titled “💍👰‍♀️👰‍♀️”

This tumblr has been a loose documentation of our relationship, one I will likely export a copy of and save for myself to look back on when I’m older. This blog has documented essentially before, when I met her, and to now. Though perhaps not obvious to you, this blog has shown our ups, our downs, and reflected important moments of my life.

The guy featured in some of my stories is still around too :) For background, his presence over the past almost 2 years of our life has been a large narrative point in our relationship. It was kind of a meteor to our relationship. We literally referred to it as “The [His Name] Situation” for a long time. He went from background character to a very important person in our lives. We struggled with exactly what we wanted sexually, our dynamic, our routine, before this whole thing happened.

I identified as stone butch prior, not out of truthfulness to my identity, but as a pleasant alternative to addressing my gender dysphoria. Being someone that was a somewhat fem aligned NB felt wrong. But, when we met him and the feelings hit (and I mean HIT, like whacked us upside the head, dropped us and we hit every single fucking branch on the way down), I was forced to reckon with the fact that I didn’t want to be fucked like a woman.

Interestingly, after realizing I was transmasc, I swung VERY hard masc, my dysphoria was worse than ever. I started wearing a binder every day (which I still do), and feeling incredibly upset and disconnected from my genitals. I was questioning whether I might have been a trans man.

DISCLAIMER: I will not tolerate any rhetoric about detrans stuff. I am not making any statement on it. This was my personal journey and reflects only what I have experienced.

I learned that I was, in fact, okay with penetration as long as the person penetrating me didn’t see me as a woman. And he didn’t. He was utterly respectful and conscious of dysphoria. He affirmed my gender very much. He was even hesitant to touch my chest until I gave verbal consent. I’ve finally relaxed and fallen somewhere in the middle, leaning towards masc. I’ve very happy with how I feel now.

I’m endlessly pleased with how the situation has ended. We get to be close with him, without awkwardness. The relationship is meaningful and important to all of us, I think. It’s good. We’re happy, and our relationship is thriving.

I’ll probably still occasionally post on this blog, but I’m still always lurking. :-)

P.S. Edith says hello

[beevean]

If I’m being honest, you are all getting way too hung up on fake diseases and attacking a writer as if he personally attacked your family. It’s a strange obsession you have and you guys always come at any small nitpick as if it’s the end of the world. It’s a weird obsession and you have all been doing it for years. Maybe you liked Sunset Heights getting a remix but you also play victim when people don’t like the 2010s games. You can see Sonic is more successful now and doing things much better but you just like to sit in your anger towards the series for years. I’ll add that you’re much more sane in your reactions than RandomtheFox, but this whole side of the fandom here is so pathetic. The endless loop of anything new coming out for Sonic, and your little posse hating on it because it isn’t the meta era or because Ian Flynn has his name on it makes me glad you guys are a small minority in the fandom.

Do you want to know why we're discussing this?

If you go back and read our discussions, see how much we brought up with this little detail!

I looked up the effects of low gravity on the human body: I learned something new about science. I tried to put into words why this detail is harder to accept than Sonic breathing in space: this is about stories and world building. I immediately found a replacement idea. We discussed about SA2, its gameplay mechanics, its cutscenes. Someone even brought up the idea of drawing parallels with AIDS and how it would affect Maria. Negativity can stem from a place of reasoning, "how would I do that?", and it makes me use my brain in a fun way. I'm aware it's a inconsequential detail, but I'm having fun!

As for the rest of the message, yeah, we are a minority. Which makes me wonder why you care so much about a group of, what, four people?

Why don't I get any engagement when I'm positive, but suddenly people are up my ass when I talk about something negative? I didn't even tag most of my posts. Bro half of the Sonic fandom blocked me already because I'm a dirty sinning IDW non-enjoyer. I am not bothering anyone.

By the way, my negativity about IDW once even resulted in me writing a fic about it. Again, creativity and genuine discussions about writing a story and its downfalls. It nourishes the brain.

I don't like this new direction for Sonic. There, happy? I don't feel catered to, as a 2000s fan, by all this "REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE COOL????" stuff, not to mention I'm just not a Shadow fan so seeing him with wings and shit does nothing for me. I am annoyed because this used to be a franchise dear to me, but the current environment, both games and fandom, alienates me. I am also aware that, precisely because I'm in the minority, I'll just have to wait until ST changes trend again.

If my writer side activates when I talk about a writing decision I don't like and I'm having fun dissecting it, let me, alright? You can find me cringe, if you want to, but I'm not doing anything different than other fans, just directed towards a less acceptable target and in the privacy of my blocked blog.

Also: to be perfectly honest, if it only takes me one day of mild bitching to get anons yelling at me that I'm a joyless bastard doomed to be sad because I refuse to be happy, it kind of makes me want to be saltier out of spite. I'm already a bad person, might as well, right?

[sister-lucifer]

I just went through like. All the posts with Alex in them on your blog. I greatly enjoy the situations you put him in.

I am on my hands and knees begging you to tell me about your force fem ideas for him. How does it happen, his reactions, heck what flavour of feminization is it? (Sissification vs dollification for example!)

I am starving for this kinda thing lol. I'm but a humble dress up enjoyer.

so i like SORT OF went into this idea here, but i have definitely come up with more ideas since then

my current in universe explanation for alex’s forced fem (sissification to be precise) is that it’s a sort of counter conditioning; masky and hoodie need to break him down, make him meek and unable to act, so he’ll be useless to the operator. they need to break his spirit. plus, they’re still pissed at him, so humiliating him both helps their cause and quells their rage

the explanation doesn’t really matter though cuz uhhh i’m gonna write what i want

shout out to @cryptidcircusco for helping me come up with this upcoming lovely idea (tw noncon/dubcon):

i have a whole plan for an alex mind break series (part one of which is actually Boys on Film, go read that if you haven’t) in which the humiliation slowly ramps up. my current fave and most developed idea is alex being trapped in the woods, unable to escape since it’s basically the operator’s labyrinth, and all the memory fuckery makes it nearly impossible to remember where he’s been or where hes going. it only gets worse the longer he’s there

on top of that, masky and hoodie are stalking him. without warning, any time of day or night, often multiple times a day, they’ll jump him. at first they just roughed him up, then they get more touchy; they stop really hurting him and just start groping him, and the behavior only continues to escalate. you have to remember alex is incredibly repressed, he hates being forced into a submissive role because it makes him feel feminine. he can only yell and fight for so long though before he starts to just…expect it

the woods degrade his mind more and more. he can’t remember how long he’s been here; days, weeks, hours, it doesn’t matter. he’s conditioned now. he hears the footsteps behind him and gets down on all fours, ass in the air; it’s just muscle memory. and he starts to like the way they silently praise him for behaving. petting him, kissing him, letting him know he’s been good.

the real show starts, though, when the masked twins bring along something extra.

as he’s been trained to, alex gets into position when he hears the two stalking him. he can hardly remember where he is or why he’s here or why he’s doing what he’s doing, but he doesn’t want it to stop. his mind is totally fogged, but somewhere in there he still manages to string together excuses.

there’s no excuse when masky tugs down his pants and reveals a lacy pink thong.

alex is mortified. he starts to struggle, to deny, to masky and hoodie he doesn’t remember putting it on, he swears, but they hold him down. they don’t say anything, but the way they look at him says enough. they shush him quickly, not letting him explain himself. it wouldn’t do any good

hoodie points an accusing finger onto alex’s chest. alex frantically shakes his head, only to moan when masky snaps one of the thong straps.

he tries so hard to remember; surely he didn’t put that on. but how else would it get there…?

oh. god…

he must have put it on. it’s the only explanation.

the masked twins share a silent look; their plan worked perfectly. he doesn’t remember them slipping the lacy garment on him the last time they grabbed him and fucked him until he passed out.

he’ll whimper, and he’ll cry a bit, and he’ll be so humiliated, but he’ll learn. just like before, he’ll come to not only expect but want it. he’ll never want to leave. he’ll be broken down into the perfect girl.

they’ll have to release him eventually, obviously. they can’t keep him forever, as much as they’d like to, as much as they’d like to keep watching him stumble around in heels and a pleated miniskirt.

when alex awakens just outside the tree line, back in his jeans and hoodie, he’ll barely have phantoms of memories of what happened. they might come back to him slowly in fragmented dreams and flashes in the back of his mind when he stares into the trees for too long, but if they leave him alone, he’ll never really know.

he will, however, linger in the women’s clothing section for much longer than he should.

huh. weird

[acourtofinkandpapyrus]

My Little Shadow: Part two (Azriel X Reader)

Warnings!: Abusive family, toxic relationship, arranged marriage.

Part one here: Part one

Part three

Thank you for all the people who like and re-blogged my last post! I couldn't believe so many people liked my story, so I worked hard to make sure I had the second part out today! Prepare for two shadowsingers to meet. As Y/N and Azriel meet again, is it the beginning of a friendship, or something more?

The past two weeks had been a nightmare, more so than usual.

After returning to my father’s home, he beat me senseless, afterward throwing me into my room and locking it from the outside.

No one had returned to even bring me food, although luckily I had saved some in a hidden spot for times just like this.  I had thought that one day I would need to hide myself, my mother, or my sisters from his wrath.

I would have never imagined this scenario, but I probably should have.

I was his only daughter born before Amarantha’s reign.  He had managed to keep us off her radar, but it had only helped so much.  And then somewhere in there, he decided that he wanted another child.  Seeing no end in sight to our stay under the mountain, he went for it.

Thinking about back then, about what I had done to keep my sisters safe, I clenched my hands, the old scars that ran up my back, legs, and arms hurting again.

I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, attempting to soothe me.

I smiled.  There was one thing they could never take away.

After I had first learned how to speak with the shadows, I had discreetly done as much research as I possibly could.  I knew that different shadows preferred different ways of presenting themselves, and had seen it myself.

But these shadows had followed me from that horrible cell under the mountain, becoming the only one I could trust.  They take the form of a human woman, most likely one they had seen before who wouldn’t be using it anymore.

I couldn’t make out any facial features, and if they stood real still they looked like nothing more than my shadow, but if you looked closely, you might notice how it seems darker than it should, and that when you look at them from a certain angle you noticed that sometimes they were not flat against the wall, but their own entity entirely.

They helped me stay sane under the mountain, and now they were doing the same again as I wondered what would happen when my bedroom door finally opened.

I rested my head against the wall, the chill soothing my stressed mind.

After only a moment of this, I heard my door make a resounding click as someone unlocked it.

I whipped around, standing straight with my arms behind my back, back to being the respectful daughter.

I knew my shadows had gone back to hiding, still nearby in case anything was required of them.

My father opened the door, his clothes and hair more regal and pristine than usual.

“Get yourself dressed, we have an event to attend to.”  He said unemotionally, walking away and leaving the door wide open.

Dread pooled in my stomach.  Whatever this was, I already knew it wasn’t going to be good.

I put on one of my more plain dresses, hoping to attract as little attention as possible.  I stalled for time, taking as long as possible to do my hair.

Maybe I could attempt to stay with one of my friends until Draven gave up on this whole arranged marriage thing.  Though I had no clue which of them would sell me out for the most measly of rewards.  Maybe all of them would.

Eventually, I could stall no more, my father in the doorway, watching me with dark beady eyes.

“Do I have my sweet little girl back, or am I to have to deal with this ungrateful little thing that’s taken her place?”  He asked, placing his hands on my shoulders as he peered into the mirror, looking me in the eye.

I swallowed the hatred that bubbled up, the urge to take the delicate handle of my hair brush and plunge it deep into his chest.  I met his eyes, letting none of that show as I spoke meekly, “I’m sorry for my previous outburst father, I promise never to speak to you like that again.”

He lifted a hand to stroke my hair, his expression almost sweet as he smiled, speaking low, “Good, I love you my darling girl.  You are making me proud, and helping all of us.  Never forget that.”

I forced myself not to shiver as he kissed my head before leaving the room.

Getting up to follow him, I took a few calming breaths, stealing myself for whatever may come.

After surviving years under the mountain, this should be nothing.  But sometimes it felt as if I had more freedom then, than I ever will again.

Everyone was gathered in the main room, waiting for me.

None of them spoke a word to me as my father opened the door, and we all followed him out.

I had three younger sisters, and to my father’s disappointment, no brothers.  My sisters crowded around me, offering silent comfort, my mother walking at my fathers side.

Was that what my life was going to look like after the marriage?  Living a life in silent fear, with no hope of a better future as I was forced to watch my own children be sold away.

I started to feel sick again.

We eventually stopped in a hall and I recognised the rest of the way, leading the way to the living quarters of Keir.

“All of you stay here, and talk to no one.” My father instructed as he straightened the lapel of his jacket.

He looked at me, and I lowered my head as he spoke, “When I call for you, you will behave like the lady you are.  Or there will be consequences.  Understood?”

I nodded, not meeting his stare.

He made a smug noise before turning and walking the rest of the way down the hall.  Keir opened the door after one knock, ushering him in quickly.

We stood there in silence for another moment before I felt a hand grasp mine.  “It’ll be okay.”

I looked down to see my youngest sister grabbing my hand.  She was too young to understand the difference between this place and Under the Mountain.

I gave her a little smile, placing a reassuring hand on her head.  “Of course it’ll be alright.  It may seem scary now, but remember what we always say-”

We both spoke at the same time, “Nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together.”

She looked up at me, her eyes wet with the beginning of tears.  “But we aren’t going to be together.”

I knew that if my father saw, he would scold me, but I pulled her close into a tight embrace.  “It’ll be alright darling, nothing can come between sisters.”

I let her go, quickly smoothing out my dress.

Feeling eyes on me, I looked up to see my mother quickly looking away.

I knew this wasn’t the life she had wanted either.  She used to tell me stories of her family, who hadn’t lived in Hewn City but had been just as cruel.  They had sold her to my father, just as he was now going to sell me.

Keir’s door opened, and my father poked his head out beckoning me in.

I obediently came to him, and he pulled me inside, shutting the door quickly behind us.

Keir’s taste in decor was awful.  Everything had edges sharp enough to draw blood and there was almost no color in anything.  It had a somewhat normal sitting situation, but what intrigued me was the painting that hung in the middle of the room, the subject of the portate being solidly him, with all of his family except his daughter sitting around him.

I swear I could see where she had been painted out.

“So this is the daughter you wish to wed to Draven?”  Kier asked from the large chair he was lounging in, a disgusting smile on his face as he studied me.

Don’t react, don’t show what you think.

“Yes, say hi Y/N.”

“Hello.”  I said meekly, not looking either of them in the eye.

I heard the floor creak, not realizing Keir had gotten up until he was tugging my chin upwards, forcing me to look him in the eyes.

“Hmmmm.”  He hummed as he studied my bruised face before letting me go.

“I heard about her little outburst earlier this month.  If anyone will be able to tame her, it will be Draven.  You have my approval.”

My stomach churned, and I wanted to scream, not hearing the self satisfied words they were passing back and forth now that my fate had been sealed.

I only came back to reality when my father placed a hand on my shoulder.  “Did you hear me Y/N?  I said it’s time to go.”

I bowed my head, following him out and back to my family.

Apparently, my house arrest was over, because once we made it back to one of the more public halls, he announced he would be at home celebrating if anyone needed him or my mother, dragging her off.

Two of my sisters were quick to rush off, but My youngest sister, Stella, stayed by my side as my eyes unfocused, unable to breathe as the panic struck me in full force.

Stella hugged me, and I wrapped my arms around her tightly, breathing in her scent of sugar, dust, and warmth, knowing that soon I would never see her again except in passing.

“You should go hang out with your friends.”  I managed to say once I calmed down enough.

Her eyes were wide as she pulled back, studying my face.

I forced myself to smile as I ruffled her hair, saying in a falsely cheery tone, “Hey!  Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.  I’ma figure out how to fix all of this, okay?”

She nodded slowly, and I planted a quick peck on her forehead.  “Now go!  I’ll be fine.”

I waited until her scent had completely aired out before I let the tears fall, quietly sobbing as I realized that this was the end of my life.

For a little while, the only sound was my gasping sobs until I heard footsteps in the distance.

I covered my mouth, quieting myself even father as I listened.

My shadow companion manifested next to me, obviously noticing the steps as well.

I pondered on whether I should leave, I had already gotten myself in enough trouble, and I dreaded to think about the consequences if I was once again caught doing something my father would punish me for.

But something about the saltwater, baked goods, and dark male scent struck something in me.  I knew it from somewhere, but for some reason I couldn’t place from where.

I once again looked to my shadows.

There was something we had learned to do.  I wasn’t sure if it had never been documented, or if we were the first to be able to do this little trick, but I had never found anything about it.

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I could see the world through a dark mist.

My shadows and I could become one in a way, turning me into a shadowy figure that could hide at will.

I could feel the shadows concern for me, and I sighed.  “I’ll be fine, don’t be so fussy” I whispered right before I stretched my head around the corner, my breath catching as I saw who stood there.

Azriel.

I watched him, standing there with something like rage on his features as he paced back and forth, his shadows curling around his ear.

I could feel my shadows' curiosity.  They loved interacting with shadows from different places, learning the stories they held of other lands.

Sometimes I wondered if they wanted out of this place even more than I did.

As I thought about this I wasn’t watching the Illerian male.  And so didn’t notice when he spotted me until he spoke.

“Hello there.”

I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard him speak, preparing to turn and run when one of his shadows reached me, tugging me into full view.

Luckily with my shadows and I being one, I would only look like a stark shadow.

“Who are you?”  He asked, not necessarily angry as he approached me, his shadows loosening their grip on my waist.

“Does it matter?”  I asked, my voice silkier in this form than normal.

He smirked.  “It does if you were spying on me.”  He said, and I saw the blue siphons on his armor glow threateningly.

This is normally where I would apologize, play nice until they realized I was no threat.

But he didn’t know who I was, and I was already boiling over with rage.

“If I wanted to spy on you, I wouldn’t have been caught.”  I say as I take a step through his shadows, his expression flickered to one of shock for just a millisecond before turning back into stone.

“Then what were you doing here?”  He asked, his head tilting as he looked down at me.

I grinned, looking up at him.  “Well, I was minding my own business when I heard some footsteps.  Really, I should be asking you what you’re doing here.”

His lips twitched upwards as he looked down at me.  “I’m waiting for someone to come meet me, but now I’m wondering if I should reschedule.”

My heart started to beat faster with the way he stared down at me, his gaze intense.  “And why is that?”

He grinned now.  “I don’t think I’ve ever met a shadow quite like you.”

I was trying to think of some response that wasn’t just embarrassed babbling when we both heard footsteps coming closer.

Without a moment's hesitation I turned and ran.  He called out after me, but I ignored it, knowing better than to stay around and see who was coming.

Eventually when I was closer to home, I let my shadows unwind, taking their own form again.

“Thank you.”  I whispered to them, and I could feel their happiness.

Meanwhile, I was once again spiraling, but for none of the same reasons as before.

What had I been thinking, taunting the high lord’s spymaster like that?  There were so many bad things that could happen.  What if he found out that I wasn’t just some shadow?  What if he found out who I was and told my father?

I took a deep calming breath.

He didn’t know who I was, and so there was nothing that he could do to me.

More confident, and something else than my impending doom to think about, I went home.

As I opened the door, my father cheered, “She’s back!  My precious daughter who is going to be our salvation.”

My mother was sitting in his lap, and I quickly looked away as I headed for my room.

“Oh, and sweetheart,”  My father said, drawing my attention back to him as he continued, “The date is set, in a little over a month you’ll be married!”

He laughed, happy as could be as he nuzzled my mother’s neck.

I felt sick.  About how soon I would lose my last scraps of freedom, how even though I could see the well hidden disgust on my mother’s face, she let him touch her, his hands gripping her hips so tight it must be painful.

As I went into my room and closed and locked the door, I couldn’t help but hope I would run into Azriel again, despite the risks.

[cosmossystem]

on the topic of "sysmeds* have gotten louder recently" i just want to ramble and give my optimist perspective on it really because i dont think its the full story. (*and if you have a problem with me using that term, stick around and youll see why i use it.)

for context i formed as a fictive alter in about mid to late 2016. we were going through a lot of rapid splits and shutdowns at this time. many of the people who split would get forcibly dormant just days later, including me, and im lucky that i got out of it because i know a lot of those alters back then didnt. normally i wouldnt call all of us alters, but this was a very trauma-heavy time and we were going through heavily fragmented periods with dissociation and amnesia. we couldnt accept that we were plural.

anyway, point is that we were in plural spaces around then, and i took over as the host in december of that year as i broke up with my shitty in-system persecutor boyfriend (thats a story for a different day.)

so its 2017 and im 12, turning 13 soon, both inner and outer. we are a rapidly growing system of 13, no 20, no 41-- and then soon its back down to about 30, where it will stay for the next 8 years. but in the mean time, me and my new partner, jam, are learning to pilot a flesh-mech on the fly and letting ourselves be cringy tweenagers. we take over the tumblr blogs (most of which are anti-cgl blogs, which is very ironic considering some of our members now do that) and we start journalling. more importantly, in late 2017 i make my own blog and i start chatting. im basically the only person fronting about 70% of the time and im a huge yapper so it starts to take off.

i post art. i wont say what specifically i do or what fandom its for but the gist is that i run a requests blog. (im sure, if you were in a very specific sect of fandom around then, you could probably guess who i am and what blog i ran, but i doubt that will happen here. if it does, keep it to yourself.)

and i get really popular. im talkin hundreds, at one point thousands of followers. i wake up every day to a dozen asks and i fulfill them and i talk about my day with the people in my askbox. i tell them about my disability, about my boyfriends (later, husbands), and i tell them about my plurality. sometimes i get into the weeds of discourse, but i try not to. mind you, im about 13 or 14 and im the staunchest pro-queer, pro-endo, pro-tucute tween you would have ever met. still not quite all there on the pro-kink or pro-ship fronts, but that didnt cause me any issues at that point, and i wouldnt figure it out for another two or so years. anyway, people are usually nice to me and i am nice, if not a bit impassioned, back.

most of the people i speak to on this blog are singlets. but being that this particular fandom is mostly made of younger people like me (at this point anyway) many of them are curious about plurality or plural themselves. funny enough, while i remember discussing a lot of my plurality and explaining what it meant, i dont recall a whole lot of people arguing over it. no one ever sent me anon hate saying that i didnt exist and that didosddsdosod was the only way to be plural. i DO recall getting dogpiled on numerous occasions because this was during the height of ace discourse, mogai drama, and right at the rise of the whole "bi-lesbians-dont-exist" thing, so most of my controversy covered those.

but on several occasions i explained to singlets what a system was, and what it meant that i was "married" to my headmates, and i met so many people who said they were also plural, and i even helped a few realize they were plural. i truly look at that with a sense of pride and joy because how many people get to say they helped someone realize an important aspect of themself/ves? how many people are out there living their life as single when theyre actually more than one? how many didnt know that word existed until a stranger happily explained it to them, before realizing that word applied to them? its one thing to be gay and know youre gay, its another to go your entire life without realizing that being gay is an option until one day it dawns on you and the next youre out and proud. being plural is like that. its world-altering. most dont realize its an option until theyre told.

its not necessarily that system spaces didnt have their problems. from singlets, there was more curiosity. system spaces were still very much divided, but for the most part sysmeds stuck to their corner and mostly only argued when argued with. that word, mind you, did not exist at the time, we just called em "anti endos". i dont remember when or how that term was coined, but theres a good reason we call them that now, and its because they would say the same shit to me that transmeds would. regardless, i dont doubt that there were probably issues of them going out of their way to harass people, but i cant recall any and it never happened to us, so make of that what you will.

in those times, i experienced more transphobia, homophobia, and aphobia than i did anything else. when i did see sysmeds, it was in their own little bubble. i think the broader world didnt care so much about plurality and didnt know that sysmedicalism was a thing that could happen until maybe a couple of years ago now, and back then, it was treated purely with curiosity and intrigue instead of hate.

but "system spaces" have always had an anti-endo side, and i know this because i was one.

i havent said as much up until now, but in those early days of journaling, it was maybe for a year or so that we were anti-endo. couldnt tell you what changed really, but i think it was just a growing exhaustion of hearing about how terrible and awful and cruel and disgusting those evil, evil endos were. a lot of sysmeds like to proclaim their 'one true real genuine method' of being plural is the only one, and since the start we were never going to fit into that mold-- we were and are fictive heavy, in-system relationships, able to change forms in headspace, no dissociative amnesia, very little memory loss and practically no multi-consciousness, the works. but it was there and it wasnt very pretty. i am grateful i didnt internalize too much of it, didnt spread it very much, and we got out when we did because it was toxic enough back then and its worse now.

i should say that i dont think necessarily there is a rise in sysmedicalism similar to, say, the trend of label policing (a la bi lesbians) or ace discourse at its peak. while that does happen with minority labels when theyre suddenly thrust into the spotlight of the week, plurality has not had that moment yet (thank god, knock on wood it never does) and so far the only way this has happened is with a few isolated incidents that i know of, maybe im wrong. but i think its moreso that the plural community has grown to crazy heights with the rise of more people discovering it and understanding themselves, and naturally there would be a proportional rise in sysmedicalism too. the only main difference maybe is now that we have bigger platforms like tiktok and twitter, and we have prominent plural resources like pluralkit and simply plural, and with the rise in political unrest-- all of those things contribute to this rise in sysmedicalism. they have more visibility and a loud voice despite being the minority, and so they get their fifteen seconds of fame.

i guess i get it. theyre angry. theyre upset that the world is injust. they think theyre allowed-- encouraged, even, or that its their right-- to come into a community that has been building itself for the past several decades on inclusion and resource-sharing and cause a commotion. they have a disorder, they have trauma, they DESERVE to be listened to and they dont want to see their very debilitating disorder being mocked like this, or whatever it is they say. unfortunately they are the terfs of this community, and i can say that because ive been dealing with those too for the past decade also.

what im trying to get across is this: plurals have existed forever. this community has existed for decades at this point, maybe centuries. with every progressive movement there will be a counter-movement, and this one is no exception, they just happen to be particularly loud right now. as we grow in numbers, so does our visibility, and so does theirs. the plural community is fine. it continue to be fine. there is nothing happening right now to us that hasnt already happened a billion times before, and there is no sysmedicalist piece of shit on this planet that can destroy us. theyve been trying for as long as weve existed and they never succeed. keep going, keep telling people about us, keep existing and keep doing your best. be louder than them.

red

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

Hi y'all, I just wanted to talk a little about the behind the scenes of what I've been up to, to give y'all a little transparency and to open myself up for any tips or input! 🙏 Thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to look at my art 🫶

First and foremost I wanted to give some transparency about my art capacity.

As og followers may remember, I started this blog when I was doing art full time. Eventually my living expenses grew and I had to go back to work. I find myself in a cycle of "I'll make more art soon, once I get a job!" And "I'll make more art soon, once I am done with this job!" I lost my most recent job suddenly, having had an extension waved over my head until the last day(October 7th). Now I'm excited to have more time for art, but I am also feeling a rush to get a new job ASAP as I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I dream of doing this work full time, I'm just scared it's not quite there yet and I worry that I come off as scammy or dishonest when I anticipate more stability around the corner.

Second, I've been struggling with the Patreon. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but from what I've seen Patreon is not intuitive at all from the creator end. It doesn't do a good job of organizing addresses, emails, showing who or who isn't subscribed to me, or organizing and displaying the work I put on there. I've been really shocked by this experience, since lots of big names use Patreon. It's been a great way to streamline support, but it's been unhelpful in every other regard. I would like to continue using it, but I will most likely post more wips or process videos there in the future.

Which brings me to my third point, zines. I love making zines so much, it feels personal and fulfilling and fun! However the Patreon issues make it harder to keep information in order about where to send zines, or even where to message folks about them. In addition to this, the post office has been a big barrier to me, oftentimes only being open at the same time as my dayjob. Making zines can take days, then sending them out is a whole other monster.

This work is so important to me. Drawing peoples fantasies, representing body types, creating work around sexuality and the human experience feels like what I'm meant to do. I've made comics since I was a kid. This is the dream to me. The friends I've been able to make through this work are so important to me, and the conversations have been invaluable. Not to mention fun! I wanna doodle, I wanna draw hot stuff, I wanna thirst over these dudes! I want to play!

But I also just want to be transparent about the barriers I'm working around to share that experience. I'm completely self taught, both in art AND in running shops, building websites, running 8 accounts, etc. I take a lot of time to learn the logistics of these things, and try to make them make sense for my relationship with y'all (I do not want to paywall my art!! I don't want to!!!). This year my desktop broke down (the main one I use for all paintings and digital art). I've paused my Etsy shops and my Patreon to try to catch up with things. Trying to learn to paint in a completely different program. Then lost my job with no savings.

At the end of the day I don't want anything to come between me sharing my art with you. I wish I could doodle a thing, take a picture, and post it here. No third party site, no shop, no subscription. Just sharing my art with you. I promise I'm trying to figure out how to stay as close to that as possible, and I want to thank y'all for sticking with me as I untangle all of that.

So, what can you expect in the near future?

I'm working on a couple of painting commissions right now, which you should be able to see in the next couple of days! I want to catch up on kinktober and get those posted as well. There's a comic commission in progress which I'm very eager to work on, and which I think y'all will be excited for! To ease the weight of the Patreon I think I may do less zines/polls there and more wips and process videos! If possible, I want to do more full colored work too.

Thank you again for enjoying my work, and if you have any input or tips my inbox is always open 🙏🫶💕

[vamptarot]

Get To Know Your Reader

— ⭑.ᐟ this post will detail information about me and about my journey with tarot, and it is made with an effort to create a bond with my followers that relies on trust.

Hi sweet little darling, thank you for reading this post and being interested in me and my journey. While I do not enjoy talking about myself too much, I never enjoyed being cold towards people I interact with, could possibly friends with or form any sort of connection with.. so with that in mind, I wanted to make a post in which you get to know who is doing your readings for you, with the utmost friendly manner possible.

To start off, you probably must have read my pinned already in which you get to learn that my screen name is Rory, and that I am a 03 liner! What’s not there though, is that I am genderfluid and prefer he/him pronouns, but I really don’t care if you use different ones for me. At the end of the day, no one will die from it.

I love tarot, but I am interested in anything that is spiritual. The world is full of wonderful things, and I want to explore what’s real and what’s not. [Okay, Dipper Pines.]

I, for one, believe in God, Jesus, Mary and so on.. However I am not Christian. It’s not a community I am proud of, neither do I have enough hate in my heart to be called one. Although, I did use to be one, until I have seen parts of the community I will never be proud of. Though, that is a story for another time, as I don’t want to go on a vent about it on this post. I also admire the teachings of buddhism, although I am not one either. As Thich Nhat Hanh once said, ‘you don’t have to convert to buddhism in order to respect it’s teachings. just apply it to whatever you are right now.’, or you know, something like that. It’s what I try to keep myself to, so I can have a peaceful heart.

Aside from that I believe that the only limit to spirituality is the lock that you put on your mind. If you don’t believe in it, why would you experience it? You are the universe, if you don’t believe in it you sure as hell won’t see it.. So therefore, I do my best to be open minded and believe in as much things as possible. I will never miss out, unless I wish to 🙂‍↕️

Unfortunately that mentality has led me to quite a few encounters with spirits, pretty sure demons a few times, but at the end of the day I survived so it was fun.

I believe in all the Gods and Goddesses, manifestation (I am amazing at this btw), clair-gifts, reality jumping/shifting, astral projection, witchcraft and so on.. name it, I probably believe in it.

Although, I was cursed with a rational mind.. for the spiritual, I am too rational.. for the non believers I am too in the clouds. Is there a way to win? Well, as long as I am having fun and living well who cares. That’s sorta my motto.

Anyway, one thing you don’t know yet about me though is that I have the most common sun sign on planet earth, which is Virgo, with the second most common sign on earth having a strong influence on my chart.. which is Leo! So you already know I am meant to be a hard working star, that stays in the sky for millions of years, making people look at it with awe. 🙂‍↕️

Some people call that egoistic, I call it having confidence. My only enemy is my speech disability... BUT HE IS LOSING !!! 🗣️

Jokes aside, I have made this blog for important reasons. Important to me, at least. First and foremost, of course I want to have better finances, save up for important things and feel a bit more free. I want to achieve this through hard work. That is my most selfish reason for it, and it’s not something I feel bad about.. everybody has the right to live, and that includes me!

As for my other reasons, that all has to do with things I dislike about the community and which I want to change. Not everything about it, but make little steps towards a brighter future.

This is where I will vent, as the things I will mention are important to my journey towards creating this blog. I am a pretty passionate speaker, and as you can tell I talk a lot. So if that’s something you don’t enjoy.. well prepare mentally or click of the post beautiful, those probably won’t change about me. I don’t mean this from an ill place of my heart, but don’t you think you have the right to know?

Anyway, one of my main reasons for starting this blog is due to how judgmental some tarot readers are. I am of course, not speaking about those who have boundaries, I believe everybody should have them in a healthy manner.

I am speaking about those tarot readers that belittle you over your differences, that say that you can ask any question because they will answer each one but purposefully delete yours while answering everyone else then lie to your face about it, those who immediately rule you out as a bad person as soon as you speak your mind because they cannot handle anything about this community that’s outside their fantasy bubble, that give you inaccurate readings because they are judgmental of your lifestyle and their mentality effects the result of cards, those who don’t hear you out on your experience and rule it out as something else despite claiming they are open minded, the ones that are fake kind to you but judge the kind of reading you buy… as if you cannot tell that their energy is off.

I know hate is a strong word, but I hate the behaviour of those sort of people. Not the people themselves, I don’t know them, but the behaviour is so displeasing in my eyes. [Personally, I don’t feel sorry for saying this, if the shoe doesn’t fit you, don’t wear it.]

That is why I want to create a blog that is a safe space, a judgement free zone.

To be honest with you my dear, I am not the most open minded on this planet despite being a diverse person. I prefer to dress modestly, hook up culture was never for me and never will be for me, I don’t get the appeal of smoking, vape, drinks or drugs. Matter of fact, if you do drugs, even if it’s “just” weed I will assume that you are going through it. One thing I am never going to do is judge you though. As long as you are not irresponsible with it, it should be fine. Watch out for your health and for those around you.. That’s what I think the key is, having manners. Like sure, you will make mistakes along the way but it won’t stain your heart. Besides, who doesn’t make mistakes? I for sure have made mistakes before, as I am a human. What right do I have to judge you so harshly? None.

I am not God, I am just me.

That is why I never want to become someone that makes you feel unsafe and judged even if I have my own opinions. What’s the point of being a spiritual healer if you, yourself inflict pain on others? It might be small, but pain is pain and everyone carries it within their heart differently. What doesn’t matter to me, could move mountains for you.

That is the reason why I also didn’t start posting here until I have healed from my past hurts. Maybe not for you, but to me my current personality is very bubbly and much different from who I used to be. Which, although makes me a feel a bit unusual, I am glad about! I now have more strength to be kind and accepting of people.

I am aware this doesn’t really sound convincing, and some followers of mine could be anxious of how they are perceived.. Which is valid, but what if you are different from me? So what? There are many people who I love dearly despite them not sharing my beliefs or life style.

Matter of fact, let me tell you about a few examples where I have done readings for people that were majorly different from me.

The very first one is about a friend of mine.. she is someone with very interesting kinks. I will not be writing them out, because it makes my stomach turn and I don’t want you to read that. However, one day she asked me if the person she is in a situationship with is into the same.. gore related stuff as her. You know what? That honestly shocked me, I needed like half an hour to calm down and do her reading, which luckily ended up being ‘a no, but willing to try out other things’ sorta answer. A few months later she told me I ended up being right.. Proud of my intuition, and a few days later I could just accept that some people are into that. Do I get it? Nah, but as long as both parties consent, who cares. [I wanna state no one got hurt during this, they are just kinky mfs 🫡]

Or, let me tell you about another friend of mine who happens to be an online friend! She was going to a concert of an artist she likes and told me she will be giving the guy her number. To be honest with you, I wasn’t clear of her intentions I just knew it wasn’t malicious. Like any person, I reacted out of surprise, ‘okay, yeah, sure’.. because when would you have the time to do that during a concert? But being the kind of friend that I am still did a yes or no reading for her upon her request. To my surprise the lovers fell out with the star.. I was like, that cannot be right.. So I shuffled another three times. The same cards kept on falling out… Which actually made me mad, she thought I was lying! After that, we didn’t speak for a few days. Until the day of the concert! Where she told me she was successful! Now I accused her of lying, lmao. Then she sent me a picture of them hugging as proof, and you know what? I was actually excited for her, like go girl. I do not know if she got to sign an NDA that day or not, but I have enough common sense to finish the story here 🫡 [for my obsessive little princesses and princes that worry that was their celebrity crush.. it wasn’t, this about, is at that time, in his mid 30s white man. for those into that, not the jones brothers bby. my friend is also his age, so don’t worry about it. I do not intend ‘princess’ and ‘prince’ as mocking, they are nicknames I like! I also call my friends these]

I have also done readings about how xyz will die, messages from Gods, past life readings, why is __ acting weird, reading about cults.. lot of diverse things.

Either way, I have strayed away from the point a bit which I don’t want to further do…The point is, I never want to be the sort of person that makes you feel belittled. So even if your reading is not my style, as long as it doesn’t affect your or anybody’s health in a bad manner, I will happily do it. Even if you or other people think it’s weird!

After all I am a weirdo too, lol. I believe we all are in somebody’s eyes. What’s normal for me, can be weird for you and vise versa. That’s why I just decided to be unapologetically myself on this blog! And if you decide to do the same, I am proud of you.

My goal when making readings for people is to let them know they are safe, understood, respected and will get the best that they can get from me.

As in, I will always try to make my readings good and accurate. Since I talk a lot, I will make every reading long by default, and I will never do them when exhausted, stressed or overwhelmed in order to make sure that they actually do resonate. I have a lot of passion for this, so my ultimate goal is to be sincere and hardworking since tarot is something I take seriously.

Since there are people who use AI to do readings, I will work twice as hard to show that it will never be as good as when someone actually cares for the person the reading is for. I know they think nobody notices, but I do. And I will create a better environment for people in the community out of pure spite!

So, even if it will take a while to do that.. take a seat! I will be here, doing my best.

I do sincerely wish that you will find me a refreshing person, and a good reader! Well, I know I am good, I have been doing this since I am 8 years old, practicing it every week! But, if our bond can become stronger through readings that’s always good! I am happy to be reading for any of you.

If you still don’t like me after this.. that’s completely okay! You are not obligated to. Maybe in a few months, or years I won’t like the person I am today either! Maybe my humour will change, or I will find myself egoistic, or perhaps too bubbly and annoying. Who knows! For now, this is the person that I am, and if you don’t like it, that’s okay! I hope you will find a reader that you can connect and click with like it’s meant to be. I think everyone deserves that! 🫶🏻💓

If you have made it this far… are you not exhausted reading this much? Have a drink, and a snack if you want! Take a break if you have been scrolling on tumblr for long. Or don’t, it’s up to you what you do with your time 🫡

Thank you for reading, I sincerely appreciate you from the bottom of my heart with each passing day where the sun rises and falls.

[the-whispers-of-death]

This is an 18+ Only Blog! Minors & ageless blogs will be blocked!! Do not interact if you're a minor or don't have an age in your bio/pinned post!!

A/N: Reader is written as male reader considering it later describes you as a "wanted man", but this can be read as gender neutral because there's no other indication of your gender. (This might change later on, if I decide to continue with adding onto this drabble, in which case Reader's gender will be more clear in the potential next parts.)

Imagine living in a dystopian world and the 141 is a known rebellion, looking to topple the tyrannical government once and for all. And imagine you do something to piss off said government.

So now you're running through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of people, trying to lose the city guards that are gaining on you. You did something so simple, yet here you are, being hunted down like a high-level criminal.

You near the edge of the city, knowing that if you just make it to the woods, the city guards won't follow you. And while the woods are scary and you've never been in them, they must be better than seeing the inside of an unregulated prison.

Safety is so close, you can just taste it. See it.

And then you stumble on a loose cobblestone, falling hard onto the ground.

No, no, no, you think as panic overtakes you as you try your best to get up as quickly as possibly only to fail and still be on the ground. You can hear the city guards run faster, knowing that this is their chance to take hold of you.

It'd be so easy, no one else is going to help you. They're all just staring at the commotion, this would be the highlight of their boring day.

Just when your panic hits its peak, a large figure pushes through the crowd and takes you by the hand. He lugs you up onto your feet and barely lets you gain your footing before pulling you along, both of you running towards the woods.

As you two pass the border of the city and into the woods, you don't stop running despite hearing the city guards stop short at the border. You two just keep running and running.

Until you get to a riverbed, the sound of the water rushing beside you joining the sounds of your heavy breaths. As soon as you two arrive, the man lets go of your hand and you take the time to get a better look at him.

And what you see shocks you.

You see the man wearing a white skull and black balaclava that you know so well from seeing on wanted posts. You take in the massive muscles he has, muscles you've heard he uses in battle so often, if the stories are to believe. You know this man and what they call him, because he's a legend.

"You're Ghost," you murmur in awe, looking at him with wide eyes. You watch him turn to you, short puffs of air coming from him as his brown eyes drill holes into your face.

Ghost nods, grunting gruffly. "I am he. And I am also your savior," he says, his voice dry as always.

You raise an eyebrow at that wording, but he did save you, so you don't comment on it. "Thank you, I really thought I'd end up in prison. I'll just be out of your hair then." You move to turn away, content to part ways with your knight in shining armor.

"Ah, no. You don't get to leave," Ghost replies, his booming voice making you stop in your tracks. His eyes twinkle when you turn back to face him. "I saved you and the least you can do to repay me is to join the rebellion. You already must've done something out of the norm to cause the city guards to chase you, you might as well embrace your life as a wanted man."

You can't deny that it would be better if you stuck with Ghost and the 141, simply because you don't know life outside of the ordered world you were living in before. It'd be nice to learn how to take care of yourself.

"Alright, fine. But I'm only doing this to repay you for saving me. I don't really believe in your cause," you say, still a little hesitant to trust the rebellion you've been told was absolutely horrible.

Ghost's eyes crinkle underneath his mask, clearly smiling under there. "Oh don't you worry, you'll see the truth. Eventually."

Separator made by @une-femme-de-lettres

I had a dream for a book about a dystopian world and then when eating breakfast I thought, what if I placed Reader and the 141 in a dystopian world? So here is what was going through my mind during breakfast.

Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated! Asks are open, feel free to pop in and request something! (Check the rules in "Rules for Requesting NSFW" before requesting.)

[tinyozlion]

Gundam Wing: Minutia and Trivia

On my long and winding way down research rabbit holes, I often stumble on bits and pieces of trivia that I find quite interesting, but don't really fit anywhere in my usual commentary on Gundam canon and are far too niche and inconsequential to merit a post of their own. HOWEVER. Since I know in my heart that you, dear reader, are also the sort of person for whom background details of the absolute least consequential variety are a source of delight and inspiration, I am compiling some of my discoveries here, and perhaps if I find more, there will be follow up posts. This one happens to be, in a very loose sense, mostly about Romefeller, OZ, and its Special Eyebrow People, because that is where my brain worms are currently converging. Here is my collection of useless trivia. I lay them at your feet like weird pebbles. Look at them. They're neat.

1. The Daily Kingdom Newspaper

It's quite likely that this has already been done, but in the grand spirit of this blog, I have decided to take the path of highest effort for the stupidest reason, and transcribed this paper. This page of After Colony news, ostensibly from July 14th, A.C. 195, appears to be reporting on events that happened towards the end of World War II. It's apparently been a slow news day for the Sanc Kingdom press for several centuries. I found myself getting kind of wrapped up in the stories and was disappointed I couldn't turn the page and find out what happened next. (I mean, I know what happened next, broadly speaking.) Of particular interest were Henri and Camille Dreyfus, Swiss chemists who made a lot of innovations during both world wars. ...They were also apparently noted OZ supporters? Well, what can you expect from a big industrial supplier of*checks notes* acetyl intermediates.

2. The OZ doggy

Pictured below: Treize's well-heeled hunting pet

and a dog is there too *BA-DUM tsch!*

This spotty and behaved hound is a real breed of hunting dog, the German Short-haired Pointer, or GSP! Did you know this, dear reader? I did not know this. This is new Dog Lore to me.

from the wiki: "It is a pointer and retriever, an upland bird dog, and water dog. The GSP can be used for hunting larger and more dangerous game. It is an excellent swimmer but also works well in rough terrain. It is tenacious, tireless, hardy, and reliable. German Shorthaired Pointers are proficient with many different types of game and sport, including trailing, retrieving, and pointing pheasant, quail, grouse, waterfowl, raccoons, opossum, and even deer."

Seems like a perfect bird-hunting companion for Mr. Treize. She'll probably go retrieve the beautiful red phoenix he murdered. I've decided she's named Oscar (after the Rose of Versailles) and she is a very good girl. Braver Oscar! Braver Hund!

3. Luxembourg Castle

This is Treize's abandoned Disney castle in Luxembourg. I owe the background artists of this scene an apology, for in my heart I assumed this was a random assemblage of spare castle-parts they found at Ludwig II's rummage sale. Reader, I was wrong:

THIS is Schloss Viandin, a restored castle in Luxembourg. Look at this place, it's gorgeous! You can hardly tell there's a secret mobile suit bunker in the basement. Frankly, I'm jealous I'm not being confined there, Treize! Stop sulking in the catacombs and go relax in the pretty princess bed until you feel better. Gaze upon the signed picture of Patrick Swayze; let him inspire you.

4. Romefeller's Secret

This one comes to us from the Battlefield of Pacifists manga, which, I've learned, is pretty good actually. (I mean it's not GOOD good, but it contains some interesting stuff). Now, come: I am taking you with me on this journey:

I feel extremely vindicated knowing that there's semi-canonical support for my theory that the Romefeller aristobrats are Austrian. I knew it. I KNEW IT. According to this manga, Romefeller was officially founded in Vienna-- the wording is a little ambiguous in this translation, but if Romefeller had members joining it in 1862, then it had to have existed in some form since then-- which means that the "Glorious Year" of 1956 is something other than its founding date. So what exactly happened in 1956? As I am a hack and fraud, and have been one all my life, I have looked to wikipedia for guidance. Mostly what was happening was the Cold War, colonialism, uprisings, Elvis, research and debate over artificial intelligence, both the hard drive disk and the snooze-button alarm clock being invented, Japan joining the UN, and wait what's this--

COMPUTER, ENHANCE:

...My god...

It's all coming together.

Eurovision is a plot by Romefeller.

The evidence is all here. There is simply no other conclusion we can come to.

--For this, and many other reasons that are well beyond the scope of a fandom blog, you should probably boycott them.

I rest my case.

5. The Romefeller Coat of Arms

I'm no vexillologist, and my heraldic experience is limited to adoptable pixel dragons, but what I am is an insane person with too much time on their hands. And so, to the best of my ability, I have blazoned the Romefeller coat of arms:

Supporters: Two Unicorns Rampant 

Crown: Purpur Crown of Peerage or Lord of Parliament  

Escutcheon: Heater with Two Engrailed Wedge Top - party per pale (halved vertically)

Blazon: Sinister (Right): Argent, Bend Sinister Sanguine; Dexter (Left): Bleu Celeste, Charged with a Ringed (or Celtic) Cross Argent 

Motto Scroll: UPRTUN or UPRTVN

--I don't know what UPRTVN is meant to stand for, but there are truly SO many ways you could play Latin Mad Libs and get a reasonable-sounding answer. At a stab, knowing Romefeller's priorities and values, I would guess it probably contains a, you know, "Unity/Peace/Rule/Tradition/Victory/Necessity", "Unity Through The Rule of Tradition Is Our Victory", or some such deeply worrying thing. Take your pick really.

6. "Herbst" / "Autumn"

The Rilke poem Treize quotes in "Frozen Teardrop" is not terribly difficult to find online, but if you're not sure what you're looking for it can be difficult because he has multiple poems about Autumn, and Autumn Day is perhaps better known; also the internet is absolutely filthy riddled with despicable bots and farmed content that has lost its attributions, so you do have to dig to find where different translations have come from (bless this very Web 1.0 page for carrying on the lord's work in basic html). Here is the original in German, and two complimenting translations:

Herbst -Rainer Maria Rilke Die Blätter fallen, fallen wie von weit als welkten in den Himmeln ferne Gärten; sie fallen mit verneinender Gebärde. Und in den Nächten fällt die schwere Erde aus allen Sternen in die Einsamkeit. Wir alle fallen. Diese Hand da fällt. Und sieh dir andre an: es ist in allen. Und doch ist Einer, welcher dieses Fallen unendlich sanft in seinen Händen hält.

This translation by Horst A. Scholz (linked here so I don't get into trouble) is the most spare and one-to-one translation into English I've found-- I always appreciate having a comparison between the very literal meanings and a more creative reconstruction when I'm reading translated poetry.

Meanwhile on the other end of the spectrum, this translation by Robert Bly is very freeform and agnostic; for my own purposes, I think the use of "Space" instead of "Heaven" happens to fit nicely with the themes of Gundam:

Autumn -translation by Robert Bly The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up, as if orchards were dying high in space. Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no." And tonight the heavy earth is falling away from all other stars in the loneliness. We're all falling. This hand here is falling. And look at the other one. It's in them all. And yet there is Someone, whose hands infinitely calm, holding up all this falling.

[redwolfstabs]

ALPHAWOLFSTABS - BILLY

gifs not mine ~ Through cuts and wounds it often flows, In whispers only blood bestows, A story etched in shades of red, Of every tear and word unsaid.

Meet the Blogger:

Howdy, hello, hi. My names Billy, He/Him pronouns only, I'm incredibly autistic so this is a friendly autistic space. DNI if you're a minor, no TERFs allowed, and basic DNI criteria.

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Writer, Gore Lover/Analysis, Billy Loomis Coded. You've been warned

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Disclaimer for my page:

18+

gore/violence

talks of abuse, sometimes

talks of drugs and alcohol, not often

mental illness

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I will always put warnings on what I post, always! I'll put warnings and a cut so everyone can avoid being triggered on my page. But please, do mind the tags I put and please stay safe here on my page. While things I talk about may be upsetting, I do not wish to upset or trigger anyone on here. Please please please, keep yourself safe on my page.

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My Fics:

Animosity: A pre-scream - current scream fic! Slow updating, very gay stuilly. A tad bit inspired by Sharps Debaser but it's not really all that similar, I assure you.

Crimson Moon: Stu discovers he's a werewolf and Billy needs to help him figure out how to navigate. [Unfinished/no longer being updated. However, Cereal occasionally draws Werewolf Stu, that's the art that inspired this. Go check that out]

Fangs Of Insatiable Longing: Vampire Billy, Human Stu. Billy has to learn to navigate this world, Stu helps him, still follows the plot of Scream with a few added things. Slow updates.

Shut My Brain Off, But Keep Me Breathing: Submissive Billy Loomis with Dom Stu, this one is very self indulgent.

The Vexation: A crack ship fic with Doug Van Housen and Billy Loomis. Slow updates.

To The Edge, Until We All Get Off: Sub Top Stu with Dom bottom Billy. It's Stu's birthday and Billy gets him a present, not super long but really nice.

You Like It Rough, But I Like It Rougher: Pure Smut, lots of blood and knives in this one. Be safe reading this.

Winged Insect, Funeral Pyre: Prison fic au, Billy is in prison but it's more of a rehabilitaion centre, focuses on his relationship with his mind, and the stupidly cute CO he likes a little too much.

JOYRIDE: Stuilly Week day one, bodyswap au, also short but fluffy

"Partner In Time": Stuilly week day two, timeloop au, Billy gets stuck in a timeloop and everytime he dies, he wakes back up in the kitchen with Sidney and Stu

Sailor Song: Stuilly week day three, ghost au. Billy lives after the massacre, Stu doesn't.

Domesticated.: Stuilly week day four, a survivor modern au, set in 2024. Not long, but it's purely fluff

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Up Coming Fics:

Malevolent Trinity: A soon-to-be Fic with Doug Van Housen + Stuilly. It will follow the plot of Scream, just with Doug added.

Unlikely Desires: A College Stuilly fic, in which Billy looks like Vincent from As Good As It Gets And Stu looks like like Tim LaFlour

Lost Years: A Team Loomis fic with Sam and Billy, Billy is alive and Sam kinda hates his guts but they get closer and become a good pair.

A Serpents' Song: A Fic sorta based around river dale, does include Stu.

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Requests:

I do take Drabble requests! If anyone is ever feeling up for me to write them something I will work on it slowly but surely. On top of that, I am starting Commissions soon for my fics. So if anyone is also up for that, keep it in mind for later down the road.

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Easy Links:

Stuilly Head Canons

Autistic Billy Loomis

Funny Scream Text Posts

Scream Script Thoughts

Drabbles

Poems

Stuilly Week 2024

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Additional:

My Carrd - This shows my name, my interests, and rules for my blog. :)

My Discord: Alphawolfstabs. Be careful

Letterboxd: AlphaWolfStabs or Here, Mostly horror movies to be honest. I am a Horror Movie nerd, I apologize