#one day I'll link all the danmei quotes in one post

[sleepyssnail]

I finished Books 3, 4, and 5 of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation!!!

Technically I finished them in October but life decided to get busy so here's my late update. All in all, I LOVED IT!!!

And now for my brother's best quotes from my play-by-play update of the books:

Me: They (wangxian) are FREAKS! My Brother: [Laughter] Me: Lan Wangji could teach Binghe a thing or two My Brother: I think anyone could teach Binghe a thing or two, doesn’t Shen suffer all the time?

My Brother: Is this during Mo Xuanyu Era? Like, the era where he’s in Mo Xuanyu’s body. 

My Brother: Jin Ling is like that SpongeBob quote “I can deny it no longer! I am small. BUT I WILL RULE THE WORLD!”

My Brother: [about Su She’s nickname] My Brother: Can we change his name? Instead of Sushi how about...Soufflé

My Brother: Who is Lan Wangji again? Me: Love interest 

Me: And Jiang Cheng is pissed— My Brother: Of course he is

Me: And Soufflé destroys the ward and teleports away using a talisman. You know who else used a— My Brother: THE GRAVE ROBBER! I remember that!

My Brother: [about the second siege of the burial mounds] My Brother: Wait this is STACKED! You have Wei Wuxian the Grandmaster and inventor of demonic cultivation, the GHOST GENERAL, and the LOVE INTEREST!

Me: Wen Ning is just YEETING the kids out of the cave 

Me: Wei Wuxian has a plan and asks Lan Wangji to accompany him— My Brother: [raised eyebrow look] Me: NOT LIKE THAT!

Me: More corpses show up...from the Blood Pool My Brother: The WHAT?! Me: Yeah! Everyone is like “I thought we burned all the corpses” and they did except for the Wen Remnants! My Brother: ... the what? 

Me: [about Jin Zixun] Me: So he thinks Wei Wuxian cursed him with a pimple curse and— My Brother: PIMPLE CURSE?! Me: Well it’s actually a Thousand Holes curse that’s all over the torso— My Brother: THAT’S VERY DIFFERENT FROM A PIMPLE CURSE! You must really hate this guy to be downplaying a THOUSAND HOLES CURSE as a PIMPLE curse! This isn’t a little bit of acne!

Me: [explaining Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli’s deaths] My Brother: [upon hearing how Yanli got stabbed by accident] My Brother: THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED! 

My Brother: WAIT! If the Wen’s are in the blood pool they aren’t controlled by the tiger tally!  Me: Yes! My Brother: I see why you thought I’d like this! I’m picking up on these things!

[About Jin Guangshan] My Brother: So he didn’t die during an orgy? Me: Oh he did, he just wasn’t enjoying it

Me: Like the last two times they ended up at an inn, Wei Wuxian gets alcohol  My Brother: Oh no Me: And Lan Wangji gets drunk Me: Oh he’s OUT like a light!

Me: Lan Wangji is “playing” and he steals a chicken! Steals some fruit and vandalized a fence by writing “Lan Wangji was here!” My Brother: [looks unimpressed and like he should’ve expected this]

Me: [mentions the sexy times] Me: And after they’re done and Lan Wangji is sober, Wei Wuxian plays it off as, “Bros do this all the time! It doesn’t have to mean anything” My Brother: No! Me: It’s worse than Shen and Binghe! At least those two admitted to it! 

Me: So Wei Wuxian is going around fixing Lan Wangji’s drunken actions. He puts the chicken back, goes to clean up the fence only to find someone else already there cleaning it up My Brother: [delighted] Wen Ning!  Me: Wen Ning! He’s good boy!

Me: [explaining how Wei Wuxian startled Jin Guangyao into releasing him by announcing his desire to sleep with Lan Wangji was real] My Brother: I’d also be pretty surprised if my hostage suddenly said that! 

My Brother: It’s an Uncle Royale! That’s what this arc is called!

Me: But he’s [Nie Mingjue] after those with Jin blood and there are three Jins in the temple! My Brother: Jin Ling and Guacamole  Me: And Wei Wuxian. My Brother: ...[realization] OH. Mo Xuanyu!  Me: Mhmm!

Me: The flute breaks! And he didn’t bring his sword!  My Brother: Make another one! Me: Another sword?  Me: [Realizes he means a flute] Oh! My Brother: Another! Me: So Jiang Cheng pulls out Chenqing— My Brother: ANOTHER!

My Brother as Jin Ling: My uncle is possessing my uncle and fucking my uncle, and they’re fighting my uncle who wants to fuck my other uncle! 

Me: Wen Ning is only one here who isn’t Jin Ling’s uncle!  My Brother [as Jin Ling]: Is there anyone here who ISN’T my uncle? Me [as Wen Ning]: *raises hand* My Brother [as Jin Ling]: Not you. 

Me: So Jin Ling is going through it right now My Brother: I mean one of his uncles is trying to kill him Me: Yeah but it was of the two who raised him. And he’s defending Jiang Cheng, and now he’s holding Wen Ning who is pretty much catatonic with a hole in his chest, so he’s not dying too well My Brother: He has a good reason! 

My Brother: [about Jin Guangyao cutting his leg] My Brother: What a fucking moron—wait who is this again? Me: Jin Guacamole  My Brother: Oh okay. What a fucking moron!

-

My Brother: [as Nie Mingjue] My Brother: Is there Jin blood out here? I could swear I smell Jin blood. 

My Brother: Are they keeping a record of this? [Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao sealed in the coffin] Me: Oh they are! They have a whole ceremony and seal it up for someone like Shen [svsss] to deal with! My Brother: I was thinking more like Xie Lian

Me: And that’s Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation!  My Brother: What about the extras? Me: ... My Brother: [smirking] They had a lot of sex didn’t they?  Me: So much sex... My Brother: I bet it was detailed, and you had to suffer through it Me: Mhmm  My Brother: Author was horny on main! Me: VERY! 

My Brother: YOU’RE NOT DONE YET!  Me: What? My Brother: You didn’t tell me how he [Lan Wangji] knew Wei Wuxian wasn’t Mo Xuanyu! You’ve been teasing it the entire time and you DIDN’T TELL ME! My Brother: Wei Wuxian got him drunk, went around causing tribute, stealing chickens, all that good stuff, and you didn’t tell me! 

And that's that! My feelings are destroyed and somehow all put back together, and now that I've had time to marinate I'm going to start churning out some fanfics.