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helpimstuckposting · 2 months ago

Text

I’m a ghost and you are a shadow

—

Four Days. They agreed to leave it and re-evaluate in four days. Steve's not sure they'll be any closer to figuring it all out, but the teens did have their own lives and jobs to get back to. At least the few days would give him time to think, to talk to Eddie, to hang out with Robin, to think some more.

Eddie had shown back up when the party was leaving, he didn't stay hidden like he had the first day. Steve was thankful for that. He didn't know if he would be able to gather the courage to find him, wherever he'd gone off to.

It felt a little awkward as the teens, Jonathan, and Nancy shuffled out the door; Eddie pointedly avoided Steve’s eye contact, Robin pointedly seeking out Steve’s eye contact as much as she could. As the door clicked shut, she nudged Steve once more, twitching her head in Eddie’s direction — her very-much-conspicuous movements grabbing the latter man’s attention. He rolled his eyes, she rolled hers back, and Steve stepped between both of them.

“Alright, alright, this silent attempt at conversation is bizarre and frankly very Three Stooges of you both.”

The two children dressed deceptively like adults shared another look, frantic argument crossing their features before they both blurted out, “I’m Curly!”

Robin glared, Eddie glared, the silent conversation between them had practically gained sentience of its own, staring on as the two alleged adults played tug-of-war in their minds. He could swear they’d start slap-fighting each other if he weren’t still standing in their way.

“Neither of you are Curly, and you know it,” Steve cut in, fondness bubbling up in his chest as they turned their glares toward him. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was grateful for their banter. He’d felt uncertain as the party left — the tension of his next conversation with Eddie looming in the background — but the tension disintegrated temporarily as Robin mimed poking Eddie’s eyes out, and he stopped her with a flat hand between her fingers. Robin looked annoyed, but Steve knew she was doing it on purpose; antagonizing Eddie to respond so Steve wouldn’t feel as nervous. Maybe Eddie was Curly, but he’d never say it out loud. He was certainly endearing enough.

As they finished their slapstick routine, Robin made her way upstairs for bed.

“Goodnight, Dingi!” she shouted, and Steve prayed an awkward silence wouldn’t take her place.

Instead, Eddie made his way to the living room — sharing a conspiratorial glance toward Steve — and whispered, “She’s totally Moe,” as he passed.

“I heard that!” Robin yelled from upstairs.

“There’s no fucking way she heard that,” Eddie grumbled, following after Steve as he ignored their antics and made his way past Eddie to the back door, sliding it open and leaving it for the other man to close.

He sat down once again by the edge of the pool, watching the sparkling ripples over the surface as he waited for Eddie to join him. He wasn’t sure where to start — it seemed like there was just too much to say, too much to ask, always so much to ask. Steve didn’t think he’d ever feel settled here until there were no more deep conversations to sort through, until he was known here and he knew them in return. He’d keep feeling like an imposter until then.

It was silent when Eddie took his place by Steve’s side, as they both watched over the water. Something about watching over it, of being present in the silence made him feel like a guardian. He watched now, because he didn’t then. Even though here it was a different gate, a different place, different circumstances. He watched, he guarded, he apologized for who he was in the past, over and over again, to a girl who’d never hear it.

Eddie sighed and Steve could feel the man’s eyes boring into the side of his head. How could humans do that? Feel someone’s eyes, like a tingling in their gut. What kind of electricity did a gaze hold? It was like trailing fingers just above his arm, never touching, never grazing, just hovering with a distinct tension between the two surfaces. He remembered, suddenly, the way El and Will would react to the Upside Down; the way goosebumps would prickle along Will’s skin and he’d clutch the back of his neck like someone had breathed against his skin, the way El would twitch and look around like she was seeing something that wasn’t there. He wondered if that was the same tension, the same prickling against your periphery, the same trailing electricity as Eddie staring at him across a room, or right next to him.

He broke his eyes from the water, catching Eddie’s, taking him in with the same reverence that Steve was being shown. He looked good, all things considered. He had shadows under his eyes — probably from their late night — but there weren’t deep bags, dark shadows carved into his skin like Steve was sure Eddie was seeing on his. He wondered how shitty he looked, grief soaked into his skin, hair unkempt and greasy, eyes probably drooping from lack of sleep for who knew how long, now. His last peaceful night of sleep was probably years ago. Before their final showdown, the one he wasn’t present for, the one he’d slept through, the one they didn’t bother to tell him about until it was too late, until he watched the gates close with his kids, his people, his Robin on the other side.

He blinked away the tightness in his eyes, looked back at the water. He could fall into the depths of Eddie’s eyes forever. It was dangerous. The water was safer. The water wasn’t as deep.

“Why here?” Eddie’s voice cut through the quiet, startling Steve out of his thoughts.

“Why where?”

“Here, by the pool. Seems like it’s always your go-to place,” he clarified, sweeping his arms out to encompass the whole area.

Before the Upside Down, before everything, he would come out here to relax, to think, to contemplate, to escape. It was easier to think with the sound of the water rippling against the tiled edge. It was peaceful, it was somewhere he could be alone that wasn’t lonely. It felt alive out here with the water whispering secrets into the air, with the trees rustling their whispers back. It felt like a conversation, even if Steve wasn’t a part of it.

After…. Well. After, he didn’t have the energy to clean it, to maintain the crystal clear waters and the area he used to escape to was no longer an escape. It was a reminder. So the water was drained, and the pool no longer whispered to the trees, and the grass grew too long, and the leaves fell and withered, and Steve stopped coming around.

Here, in a different world, it felt reborn. It felt new. Untouched by Steve’s issues, the water sparkled once again and lapped against the pool’s edge, and whispered to the trees, and the trees whispered back, and Steve felt safe whispering his own secrets to whoever would listen. Old habits and whatever.

“You remember what I said about my dad?” Steve asked. Of course he’d remember, he’d only told him yesterday. Yesterday. It felt like weeks.

Eddie nodded.

“Well, I was captain of the swim team because it was the only time my dad couldn’t bruise me up. Speedos don’t exactly provide the best coverage,” he chuckled to himself, trying to dampen the gravity of the statement. He looked at Eddie again. He was blinking more than usual, eyes seeing something Steve couldn’t. He seemed to blink himself back to the conversation, eyes clearing to lock with Steve’s.

“You were captain of the swim team?” He asked. Steve rolled his eyes, deflating from the build up.

“Is that really what’s important?”

Eddie shook his head, miming zipping his mouth and throwing away the key. Steve had somehow managed to surround himself with bonehead comedians in multiple universes.

“Yes, I was the swim captain, okay? I wasn’t in band, I did sports, I had a nanny-“

“You had a-“

Steve cut him off with a glare. So much for the zipped lips. Now they were tight, pulled taut into a sheepish line.

“Sorry,” he whispered, like the quiet would make him less guilty. Steve rolled his eyes. Peas of a pod, he and Robin were. It was really no wonder Steve and Eddie were dating in this universe, he was practically made for Steve; gorgeous and head-strong like Nancy, big brown doe eyes, and the same exact humor and attention span of his platonic soulmate. How did Steve not see that until now? How did he not know that was an option?

Steve sighed, shaking his own tangent away to focus back on the conversation. They’d get to the whole Eddie-and-Steve thing in a moment.

“Anyway,” he started again, “it was the only way I could think of to stop my dad, and it worked. So, I practiced every chance I could, I made sure he didn’t have a reason to talk me out of it. I spent a lot of time in the pool, and I guess I just… got used to being here.”

Eddie nodded, still silent, like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to talk yet.

“I came out here to think a lot. S’just a habit, I guess,” he added, not wanting to stew in the silence and hoping Eddie would take that as the end of Steve answering his question. He did, thankfully, and started humming as he thought of what to say next.

"You tellin' me you were a jock, Harrington? What else don't I know about you?" he settled on.

Steve rolled his eyes. Of course Eddie Munson, of the Munson Doctrine, was harping on the fact that he was a jock. It seemed like that was one more point to his differences between he and OtherSteve. It didn't feel bad, this time. It felt... nice, teaching Eddie about himself. It felt like he wasn't the only one learning new people, learning about Eddie. He liked that Eddie could learn about him, too, in a way he hadn't before. Steve was done with stalling this conversation, though. It was his turn to learn, now.

"Speaking of things I don't know about you..." he trailed off, letting the weight of his silence settle into Eddie's bones. He looked guilty, eyes darting around to avoid Steve's as his mouth thinned once again into a tight line. Steve thought Eddie had a pretty good poker face back home, but this one? Not in a million years.

"Right," Eddie muttered. "Well."

Steve waited patiently, letting Eddie work through his thoughts until he was ready. They both knew where the conversation was going. They both knew why they were out here in the first place, and why Robin left them to themselves. They both knew what was in the physical and metaphorical closet.

Eddie sighed, leaning back on his hands. He looked toward the sky, as if the stars could tell him where to start. Maybe they did. It wasn't much longer until Eddie looked back at Steve and started talking.

"Steve and I... We... Well... Shit," he muttered. The stars clearly had not offered their wisdom, in the end. So, Steve took pity on the man, and asked what had been poking at the back of his head since he saw the shared closet, held Eddie's leather jacket in his hands, and found those polaroids.

"You and Steve were together? Dating?"

Eddie nodded, bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he gnawed on the skin in leu of more words.

"When? I mean... For how long?"

He sat up again, hunched over and twirling his rings around and around his fingers. He chewed on his lip for a few more seconds before sighing again and releasing it, the flesh red and raw.

"We started dating secretly in high school," he started, "I failed it, the first time, and Robin wouldn't let me repeat that so she forced us into study sessions after school. Steve was struggling too, wasn't really great at the math and science parts."

Or English, or history, or Spanish, Steve thought bitterly.

"So, we went from hanging out during school, to hanging out nearly every day afterwords, weekends too. Sometimes, Robin wouldn't be able to make it because of her parents or soccer or whatever, but Steve and I would still meet up.

"With the whole... you know, Upside Down thing you kind of cling onto the people who know," he said, glancing toward Steve because he did know, he felt the same about Nancy and Jonathan.

"So how did you get together?" Steve asked, a little tired of Eddie beating around the bush if he were honest. But he didn't want to push too much, knew this conversation had to be hard for Eddie considering the fact he was telling it to someone with his dead boyfriend's face.

"I mean," Eddie started, cringing a bit as his eyes went wide. He cracked his knuckled and shook out his hands, the epitome of nervous energy. "It's kind of embarrassing, so you cannot laugh," he prefaced.

Steve laughed anyway, just from the warning. "Sorry, no promises."

Eddie groaned, back to twisting his rings around his fingers. "Fine, whatever. It was one of those stupid, cliche experiments, okay? I let it slip that I'd... you know, never kissed anyone, and Steve had offered to... to teach me."

"He was your gay Yoda?"

Eddie squawked, fidgeting halted by his sheer surprise at the statement. He stared at Steve, blush high on his cheeks as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Steve held his breath, trying desperately to maintain a blank face and appear as serious as possible.

"I did not have a gay Yoda!" He insisted. "It was a perfectly normal situation, okay? He'd kissed someone before, I hadn't, that was it!"

"If it were normal, you wouldn't be this embarrassed about it," Steve caught him out. He kept blinking and floundering, mouth wide in disbelief, and Steve couldn't hold in his laughter anymore. It bubbled out of him as Eddie smacked his arm in retaliation, shoving him off-balance when he didn't stop laughing.

"Okay! Okay!" Steve chuckled, righting himself as he shoved Eddie away, putting his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, it was a totally normal, non-Yoda teaching moment."

"Dick," Eddie muttered to himself.

"Sorry, continue? Please?" He nudged the other man's shoulder.

"Right," Eddie caved. Though he rolled his eyes and reached out to shove Steve one more time, his shoulders were more relaxed than when he started. He wasn't fidgeting or stalling as much as he did before, and Steve thought that even if it annoyed him a bit, the teasing was a good choice.

"Well, that lead to hooking up and Steve's big Bi awakening, and Robin and I coming out and it was a big sob-fest for all three of us, okay? It wasn't until after the second run-in with the Upside Down that we actually started dating.

"It was like..." he paused, trying to pick out the right words again. "When he was unconscious in my lap after Billy beat his face in, I kept thinking. You know... what if he doesn't wake up? What if he doesn't know about this huge stupid crush I have? What if I don't get to kiss him again?"

Steve watched, nearly mesmerized, as Eddie's tongue flicked out to lick his bottom lip. It wasn't red and swollen anymore from his biting, but it was damp now, glistening like the water and suddenly Steve felt thirsty. He swallowed, couldn't peel his eyes away as Eddie continued.

"So yeah, when he woke up I told him he was never allowed to be get beaten up again, we took the twerps through the tunnels, and I told him he was my boyfriend."

"You told him?" Steve scoffed.

"Yep," he said, popping the 'P' and nodding his head. "He was mine, and there was nothing he could do about it."

Steve could picture it. Could picture Eddie there with him in the tunnels, the concerned glances as he pitched to the side and hid it from the children, as his vision swam and he held himself together long enough to get the kids to safety. He could picture Eddie pulling him aside after they set it all on fire, telling him — not asking — telling him that they were dating now and Steve had to stay safe because he belonged to Eddie. His heart squeezed in his chest. It would work on him, too. If Eddie's eyes were full of concern and his hands gently touched the cuts on Steve's face, and he stepped in so close that Steve could feel his breath glide over the dried blood, and he told him. 'You're mine, Steve Harrington.'

It would work on him, now, he realized; his breath caught in his throat as he watched Eddie's tongue dart out again and wet his lips. Fuck. He was fucked.

He glanced away, breath shuddering from his mouth as he let it out. He felt jealousy in the pit of his stomach, felt it burn like shame as he realized he wanted that. He wanted Eddie.

He took a deep breath, holding it until it felt steadier, like it wouldn't shake as it left his lungs. He couldn't think like that. He was just confused because of the circumstances. Eddie wasn't his. This one, or the one gallivanting in California in his own world; they weren't his. Steve didn't have anyone like that, and it wasn't fair to Eddie to want it. He'd already had a Steve. Had already lost him. He was a different person, and that wouldn't change.

—

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, I really loved writing this one! I'm so excited to be back on this bullshit, I have so many plans 👀

Tag List:

@devondespresso @machete-inventory-manager @sirsnacksalot @space-invading-pigeon @aliea82

@goodolefashionedloverboi @anti-ozzie @13catastrophic-blues @estrellami-1 @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

@likelylad @aellafreya @wxrmland @shunna @howincrediblysapphicofyou

@1-8oo-wtfbro @grimmfitzz @queenie-ofthe-void @redheadchimechild @bread52487

#Steve's still going through it #Eddie's going through it too #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #robin buckley #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #fanfiction #stranger things fic #steddie fanfic #parallel universe AU #helpimstuckwriting

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astarions-bride · 1 year ago

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hey, this totally isn't z0mibite. Can I get 32 and 9 from the kinky masterlist, pretty please? Location, preferably a tent ⛺️

This turned out a bit longer than anticipated 😅 hope you enjoy! ❤️

A few days into the expedition once you reached the depths of the Amazon, and a lot of hard trekking where yourself and the rest of the crew had to scramble to keep pace with Rob and the Professor, you all found a camping spot that was near a small river where you could finally bathe and replenish their water. You nearly wept and the scientist Tim was misty eyed at the prospect of taking a bath as opposed to the little quick rinses they’ve been doing. The Professor had been pushing them at a brutal pace, excitement boosted at the discovery of a yellow Boa not indigenous to the region, and you had the suspicions that he has forgotten that most of his crew weren’t used to such brutal conditions.

Everyone except Rob.

You had kept a hefty distance away from the older man without being too obvious since he discovered your little crush when Tim was talking way too loud within earshot of the stoic man, you were asking less questions and avoiding eye contact, but Rob had been perfectly normal. However, you had felt his eyes boring into your back when you would film a few scenes of the nature around them whenever James decided to give you the camera, and there was one occasion where you caught him slowly running his eyes over your body. Of course, that led you to tripping over your feet and nearly twisting an ankle in shock at the dark glint in his bright blue eyes.

You had tried your very best to keep a distance away from Rob, being on your best behavior helping film interviews, and on some level you were successful. It didn’t make your constant anxiety go away though. Especially when he would offer a hand when walking over unstable earth or a rushing stream, his long fingers burning against your skin at the contact, and you nearly fell into a river when he put his hands on your waist to hoist you up over a rock. James found that amusing and had the camera in your face the entire time. Making enough noise that even the Professor had to chide him.

Every moment with Rob seemed to deepen your crush. His experience in the wilderness and knowledge of animals left you fighting against the urge to swoon, his deep soothing voice calm as he explained every question that was thrown at him by Tim or James or even Michelle, and you caught yourself smiling as you filmed him while Michelle interviewed him. Noting the crinkles at the corners of his eyes when he flashed a rare smile, the way he seemed to be a well of information that he shared easily, and the way his voice alone made a flush rise in your face. You could barely contain yourself when he addressed the camera. Looking into your eyes just shy of the lens with an intensity that left you clenching your thighs together. The way his eyes tracked every movement you made you knew that he caught the way you shifted and the way your face flushed. You should have known that he would talk to you sooner rather than later.

You had just finished your quick bath, reveling in the feeling of being squeaky clean, and you decided to film a few shots of the water and surrounding trees after everybody had a chance to clean themselves. In the background you could hear James chatting happily somewhere behind you with an awkwardly laughing Lisa and you smiled softly as you filmed a bird hopping around the riverbank. Suddenly, a body stepped up beside you, and the feel of body heat chasing away the slight chill left over from your bath had you fighting a shiver.

“Tonight. Your tent,” Rob murmured quietly, voice quiet yet still had a slight edge that brooked no argument, and this time you weren’t able to hide your shiver at his words.

Gathering your fleeting courage, you turned slightly to stare up at him. The man was staring out over the water, blue eyes flicking over the entire area and into the trees as if a beast was gonna jump out of the bushes any moment, and his face was carefully void of emotion. Standing next to him you felt incredibly small, your head barely reaching his broad shoulders, and your breath caught in your throat when his eyes darted to you.

His eyes were intense, seeming to peer straight into your soul, and any air in your lungs seemed to evaporate. This was the first time he had spoken to you about your obvious attraction to him and your hands began to sweat at his stare.

“All you have to do is say ‘no’,” he offered just as quietly and your heart jumped into your throat at the prospect of losing any chance with him.

Your answer apparently was written all over your face since the tension in his shoulders seemed to ease. Seemingly satisfied that he had got his point across he turned on his heel and walked back to the tree line where the crew were setting up their tents. You eyed the darkening sky through the thick canopy, the smell of oncoming rain filled your burning lungs, and your hands trembled as you put the camera up.

It seems you had a date to prepare for.

Later on, long after the sun had set and the heavy rain was pelting your tent, you were curled up under your sleeping bag on the verge of a panic attack. You had prepared yourself the best you could under the circumstances. A packet of Vaseline tucked underneath your makeshift pillow, your pants and panties were folded neatly in your bag which left you in just a loose t-shirt, and your senses seemed to heighten with every minute you were left waiting. You took a moment to be thankful that you had a tent all to yourself. A twig snapped by your tent, making your entire body go rigid, and you silently prayed it wasn’t some creature that would force you to run through the trees half naked. Your tent quietly zipped open, your ears straining for any other noises over the pounding rain, and cool air rushed into your tent before it was quickly closed again. The sudden silence was deafening. You could hear his breathing and you envied the slow calm breaths.

Your heart was pounding against your ribcage almost painfully and your lungs seemed to refuse to work.

“Are you certain?” Rob asked softly and you squeezed your eyes shut in the darkness at his deep voice.

Unable to force words out of your mouth, you pried your fingers off your pillow to reach underneath and thrust the pack of makeshift lube in his general direction, but you stayed curled on your side away from him. Unable to force your body to move as your nerves got the best of you. Without another word you heard the distinct sound of fabric on fabric before feeling him slide underneath your blanket and into your sleeping bag. His body heat wrapped around you and you couldn’t stop the shiver that raced down your spine.

“Are you cold?” Rob asked, his voice so close to your ear and his strong lean body sliding close, and you fisted your blanket in your hands as anxiety clawed at you.

“No,” you finally managed to choke out, before jumping as a warm calloused hand landed on your bare thigh underneath your shirt.

His hand slid carefully against your skin, brushing over your thigh before settling against your hip, and you bit your lip as he reached up to tug on your shirt. It took you a moment to realize he wanted it off. With trembling hands you pulled the shirt over your head and shivered again at the sudden rush of cool air. Chills erupted over your skin, your nipples pebbling as his warm hand swept against your hip and up to your ribcage, and then he slid his hand further up. He brushed against the swells of your breasts, making your breath hitch, and then he suddenly curled his hand around your thigh. With your breath lodged in your throat, you let him spread your thighs and fought a whimper when he placed your leg across his, letting your knee hook over his lap. Exposed and anxious, you tried to mimic his even breathing, but jerked harshly against him as lubed fingers suddenly dipped between your thighs.

You tried to snap your legs close out of reflex, but his forearm held you open.

“Easy,” Rob whispered against your hair, pressing his body closer to you until you felt every bare inch of him, and he kept his hand right where it was as you forced yourself to relax.

You squeezed your eyes shut, hating how on edge you were, and a fuzzy idea formed in your racing mind. You forced one hand away from your blanket and hesitantly curled your hand over Rob’s wrist. You ignored how you were still trembling, but the man behind you waited patiently to see what you were going to do next. Biting your lip, you began moving his hand against you, and you heard his breath hitch. You fell into the familiar pattern that always sent you shaking with pleasure and the feel of his rough fingers sliding against your sensitive folds had a small whine escaping your throat.

Soon, all tension from your body had dissipated, and you were subtly rocking your hips against his fingers. You felt him nuzzle into your hair, placing a kiss against the nape of your neck, and he hummed lightly at the growing wetness between your thighs.

“You’ve wanted this for a while, huh?” he asked in a hushed voice and your leg twitched against his hip at the husky tone.

His words made your face burn, but you quickly forgot about your embarrassment when his middle finger sank deep into your core as his thumb lazily circled your clit. Your eyes shot open in the dark as your hips jerked forward into his touch and your breath caught in your throat.

“Answer me, sweetheart,” he said and you whimpered at the stretch as he added another finger inside you alongside the first.

You nodded as you breathed deeply through your nose to stop yourself from passing out at the sudden pleasure.

Rob’s fingers slipped free from your warmth, making you whine at the loss, but then you felt something bigger nudge against you.

“I want to hear you say it,” he said quietly and your eyes fluttered shut as he began rocking subtly against you, dragging his length through your soaked folds, and your head leaned back to rest against his shoulder.

You felt the scruff of his short beard brush against your temple as he nuzzled against you.

“Please, Rob,” you choked out and you felt his free hand slip up to anchor around your mouth.

You were momentarily confused, making a small noise in question, before nearly shrieking as he sheathed himself deep inside you to the hilt. Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull as an unflattering noise wheezed out of you and he shushed you gently in your ear.

He thankfully stilled against you to let your body adjust, keeping his hand over your mouth to muffle any noise, and you felt his other hand massage the meat of your thigh.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he grunted, grinding up into you as you slowly adjusted to his girth, and you whimpered at both the words and movement.

You eventually found yourself moving with him, rocking against him as much as you could while pinned against him, and slid his hand from your mouth to wrap gingerly around your throat. Rob began to move in a slow sensual rhythm and you nearly bit your lip bloody to keep your sounds down. Eventually he moved to a faster pace, snapping his hips against you until you were left clawing at his arm as pleasure coiled tight in your pelvis and warmth radiated from your center. Your body ached at the stretch and the vigorous movement, but it only heightened the bliss rushing through you. The man was grunting in your ear, words of praise mixed with utter filth, and his grip on your thigh turned bruising.

You realized you were panting out his name as he fucked into you, the air in the tent humid and reeking of sex as you failed for breath, and you slapped a hand over your own mouth as a quick and devastating orgasm hit you without warning. Your body arched against him, eyes rolling back in pleasure, and you heard him quietly talking you through your orgasm as he slowed his pace to something slow and deep to draw out your pleasure. It wasn’t until you fell limp and twitching against him that you realized he was still hard inside you. You made a muffled noise against your hand and moved your other hand to reach back to pet through his hair. Rob pulled out, making you wince and moan at the loss, before you felt him pumping himself with his free hand. You leaned your head back to mouth at his jaw, feeling him adjust to press his lips against yours, and he groaned deep in his chest as warmth spilled between your thighs and against your cunt. You moaned again at the sensation, feeling marked as his mouth swallowed your small noises as his tongue swept into your mouth, and you felt his body relax against you.

You both panted almost in tandem and you couldn’t stop the slurred giggle that escaped you.

“I should have said something sooner,” you muttered and felt him smile against your shoulder where he was busy placing soft kisses.

Rob helped ease your thighs close, your body still feeling weak and sluggish, and you felt him pull you closer. You turned around until you faced him, cuddling into his chest shyly considering the act you just committed within feet of your crew mates, and your heart skipped a beat when he wrapped his arms around you.

“Had to wait for the rain. Otherwise we would’ve waken the entire camp,” he explained and you flushed in embarrassment at the truth in his words.

“We should clean up,” you eventually whispered as your eyelids threatened to slip shut and he hummed.

“I’ll clean you up when I’m done with you,” he said evenly and you pressed your heated face against his chest to hide your goofy grin.

#the expedition rob x reader #the expedition rob smut #the expedition rob #neil newbon #Neil Newbon x Reader #Neil Newbon smut #the void answers #the expedition 2014

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doubledeadstudio · 4 days ago

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Finally got the courage to ask a question (Happy New Years Eve/ Day whenever you see this) but just a general question

What was the creative process of making Reanimated Heart, Another Rose in his Garden and Pygmalion’s Folly? What was the inspiration behind those three games? What was your favorite one to work on? Do you plan to make new games in the future?

Happy New Year to you too, anon! I love questions like these. The development and creative process is something I'm very passionate about.

Creative Process? Inspiration? (Just shoving both of this in one, long discussion about how these things came to be)

Okay, you guys will probably think I'm an insane person, so let me explain how I got started on them...

I first started with RH (of course) when my friend Tay told me about this game she was playing where a character really resembled Crux (it was Markus from Red Embrace: Hollywood). And I played it because of that, and I was like, damn??? He really does? And I was on the path of my artist journey that I was like looking at the game assets and the dialogue and stuff where I was like... Wait, I can do that. I can write like this. I can draw everything. Who's stopping me? I had a dream with the tree, and I started writing dialogue in "hypothetical" VN scenarios, and I was like... okay, fuck it, I already got disowned by my family and I wanna kill myself, I've got nothing left to lose.

So I started pre-development for Reanimated Heart and wrote like about 20,000+ words, made sprites and backgrounds, spent an ungodly amount of money for music and fonts and did research, and released the Prologue on itch. It ended up kind of a flop? And I was honestly so mad for years LMFAO, but I kept at it because I liked making it. And then a fan, Ashe, contacted me out of nowhere and suggested I improve my socials. (Thanks Ashe.)

All in all, I think that, if RH never gathered attention... I would still be making it, but releases would've been shorter and weirder, and it wouldn't have the level of polish it does now because "nobody's playing this shit anyway." But having a fandom motivates me to push past my comfort, and inspires me to do releases semi-regularly. So, thank you guys for the support. :>

Anyway, enough RH rambling. Another Rose happened because a couple of members in the chat (I remember Maz and Chat in particular) kept joking about Omegaverse and I've never like... consumed any Omegaverse before, and I literally had no fucking clue what it was other than mpreg and werewolves. And I was like drinking that day and I got intrigued. And I kept thinking about the scenarios and became like ACTUALLY invested, but I didn't know anything about it still, so I kept asking Maz about it and she really helped hash out the "lore" and gave me really good scene suggestions. I honestly think Another Rose is the most indulgent of all my games because...

First of all, it's just straight porn. Second, aside from the quality of the work, I don't think about the audience, at all. There's only a price point to it but it's basically like a smut novel with some path deviations (that also just read to different porn)? Third, I'm like... I'm not going to lie, obsessed with my husband's OC Mars. And it's funny af to me how people ended up disliking him, because this whole game was like just my personal (smutty) love letter to how much I love that godawful man.

For Pygmalion's Folly... There had been long discussions in my server about murdersims. I'll be honest, I didn't get them at first, but I think Adri framed it in a way that I understood it, which was like... it was a morbid fascination to how bad things can get in situations like that. So I ended up playing the first BTDs and obsessively finished TPOF to the point I was having dreams about it, and I'm not going to lie, I had a dream! Again!! And it was Florentin killing the MC over and over. I woke up in a haze and wrote like the first 3000 words of the game in a frenzy with just 2 hours of sleep, and I was like, okay. This is getting made for sure. And because Adri was the avid murdersim fan, I consulted with them about the game, and they were the one that suggested the stats system, as well as some scenarios for endings.

So I guess tl;dr I cannot explain how I make games to you guys because they just kind of form when I'm drunk or get prophetic dreams.

Favorite to Work On?

Honestly, I loved working on all of them equally, believe it or not. (I equally also hate all of them when I'm crunching for the release. /jk)

The thing about these characters is that they're all OCs that are near and dear to my heart, ones that I've had for YEARS (I've had Vin for 12 years, can you imagine that?), and seeing all of them in action excites me so much.

I love that I got to make Abel the protag and I love that I got to put him in fun, sexual situations. I love that I managed to show off Florentin's special powers, and draw amazing grisly CGs with him. I love that Black, Vin and Crux are different, romanceable characters, that you can go to their houses, that you can see CGs with them, that you can follow their character development and be invested in their secrets, that they even have awesome voice actors that bring them to life!

And I love that so many of you also love them too, and write fic of them and draw them... Honestly, that's already my dream, and I'm so happy about it.

New Games in the Future?

Absolutely, yes! I got the VN dev bug and you guys will have to chase me out of here, LMAO.

But this year, considering how busy I'd be... I'd say probably not in case something really pushes me to make something (like, I had an idea I can't stop thinking about). My top priority right now is Reanimated Heart's Chapter 1 finale, and I have some free DLC I'm thinking of adding for Another Rose and Pygmalion's Folly, so those will probably get prioritized first.

#asks #meta commentary

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obimaulartfire · 1 year ago

Text

October 26th- "Seduction" for the @sithobiwanevent

Mini-fic connected to this piece under the Read More tag! I had so much fun with this prompt, hehehe

Maul walked down the neon-lit streets of Coruscant, out of the Jedi Temple. The mission he just finished had been hard, but successful.

His clone commander offered to take him out in celebration, but Maul turned him down. He wasn’t the social type; he preferred to do things on his own terms.

Besides, he felt…it, again.

“It” was a presence that had been following him like a shadow for the past few years.

It felt like fire and ice at once; cool, prickly fury mixed with a warm affection. At least, that was what the Force told him.

“It” never hurt him. In fact, it was often a comfort when he felt completely alone in the world, whether that was in the Temple, out in the street, or off-world. When he was sorrowful, overwhelmed, or angry, it was nearby like a cold pillow on a hot night. But it felt stronger than usual today, like it was about to smother him.

Therefore, he couldn’t risk anyone else getting in the way. Today was the day he would find the source.

He walked down the street, keeping his sixth sense open and his eyes over his shoulder. There were so many people here; any one of them could be the source of the Force presence. Frustrated, he grumbled to himself as he walked towards no destination in particular. But then, he remembered that the presence only made itself known when he was alone.

He chided himself. Was he really about to put himself in danger for the sake of his curiosity?

This is stupid. He was a Jedi. If anything came at him, he was more than certain that he could win in a fight.

While he thought, his feet took him down the back streets, towards a part of town that he knew would have no one in it at this time of night. He got there, found an open alleyway and walked in. And he waited.

He felt the presence, but couldn’t see anyone. Of course. He’d never seen the source of the presence, so it was unlikely that they would simply reveal themselves immediately.

He grit his teeth and gathered up his courage.

“Come out. I know you’re there.” he said, trying to hide the slight shake in his voice.

There was no answer. Until there was.

“You’re calling for me? What a surprise.” said an elegant, icy voice.

Maul spun around, and his hearts dropped in his chest. He recognized the face that appeared before him immediately.

Ten years ago on Naboo, his master was killed by none other than the man before him. He was older now, had grown out a beard and his hair, but otherwise looked exactly the same. His yellow eyes glowed faintly in the darkness, silhouette outlined by the multicolored lights around him. Maul didn’t know his name, but he did know him, and always would. It was impossible to forget the one who stole your loved ones.

Despite this, he radiated the exact same presence. That same Force signature he felt when he was alone in the Jedi Temple in the middle of the night. Now, instead of it being a background hum, it wrapped around his mind and threatened to crush him with its force.

Somehow, it was still comforting.

“You…” Maul started.

The man interrupted.

“Don’t you know it’s dangerous to walk alone at night? You could get hurt.” he said with an outpouring of protective affection, and walked closer.

Maul instinctively backed away, towards an alley.

“Why? But you- I killed you. I thought-”

His eyes darted to the man’s right arm and leg. They were advanced prosthetics now, but made almost no noise as he strode forward. Maul had cut those off. He remembered pushing this man down the reactor shaft, so why was he alive? Why was he here?

Maul made a soft grunt when he turned and his back hit the wall. The man came closer to him, and leaned over; their height difference becoming apparent.

“Your questions have easy answers.” he said, though Maul had asked no questions. It was like he knew what he was thinking.

He opened his prosthetic hand, and took Maul’s hand in it; a gesture of reverence.

Maul flinched at how cold the metal was, but did not pull away.

“The simple answer is that you killed me, and I came back.” he said, lacing his fingers with Maul’s. “I’ve been obsessed with you ever since you cut me down on Naboo. You’re the only person who has ever defeated me, undone me. I should hate you for it, but instead I find you… fascinating.”

Maul swallowed thickly, his hearts pounding in his chest. He’d never had anyone be interested in him before, not to this degree. It was intoxicating, and it drew him closer.

His mouth moved, looking for words to say. They came out jumbled and choppy.

“So all this time. When I was alone, and I was sad, and I felt a presence. That- that was you?”

The man raised his prosthetic arm, and pinned Maul’s arm against the wall.

Without thinking, Maul wrapped his fingers around the metallic ones, to ground himself.

The man leaned closer, his warm breath brushing Maul’s lips.

“Does that disturb you, my dear?”

Maul stared up into glowing, yellow eyes. It was very strange. Though this whole situation should scare him, Maul found himself incredibly calmed, almost hypnotized by the man in front of him. He didn’t want him to go.

“No.” he replied, and meant it.

“I’m glad.”

Before he knew it, Maul was kissing him. He lost himself in the moment of finally coming face-to-face with the presence that, in some way, kept him sane for the past few years.

But, when the man pulled away, Maul looked at his face again and remembered who he was looking at. This was his master’s murderer. And yet despite himself, he couldn’t pull away.

“This… this is wrong.” he said, his sense finally coming back to him.

He shouldn’t feel safe around this man. He should run. He should pull out his lightsaber and finish the job he started years ago. So why? Why didn’t he pull away?

“Is it, now?” he replied, conversationally.

“Of course it is. You killed my master. I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t be doing this.” he said.

I shouldn’t want this. He thought.

“And yet, here you are.” he said, with a light chuckle. His breath tickled, and his beard brushed against his cheek.

Maul found himself kissing him again. One hand was pinned to the wall, but the other grabbed at the bow on his back, pushing him closer. Force, what was wrong with him?

The kiss ended too soon. His master’s murderer pushed away from him, ever so gently, and looked into his eyes.

“Come away with me, Maul. I could teach you so much.”

Maul swallowed and nodded his head.

At this point, it wasn’t even a question.

He took his hand, and pushed down his own self-loathing for saying ‘yes.’

#sith!obi-wan #sith!obi-wan kenobi #sithywan #obimaul #roleswap au #jedi maul #maul #star wars #star wars fanart #star wars fanfic #i've had this idea in my head for a while #based off “dangerous” (the song) by big data #but like with more consent obviously #anyways i may post the snippet on ao3 as well haha #sith!obi-wan kenobi event 2023

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pleasantlycrazyworld · 2 years ago

Note

I wanna see you write if reader gets hurt by Eddie when they told him their feelings for him and he says no

THERE IS NO FLUFF OR HAPPY ENDING IN THIS

You meet Eddie during your science class in your sophomore (his junior) year. The two of you were lab partners. Eddie was the outsider, the devil worshiper, but to you, he was the cutest guy in school.

You were the nobody in school. All you did was go day by day hiding in the background and getting lost between the bodies in the crowded hallways. No one had ever noticed you and you were okay with that, but you felt like Eddie noticed you.

Since you disappear in the halls, no one ever notices that you have the ability to hear their conversations. Later in the day, you were trying to get to your locker when you overheard Eddie talking to one of his friends. "Yeah man, I don't know she's just so pretty. I never noticed until we did that project together. I'm thinking of making a move soon."

Internally you squeal! He has to be talking about me! You thought to yourself since the two of you just finished your life of a cell project together. As you were gathering your stuff for the end of the day you start planning an extra cute outfit for the next school day with new confidence after hearing his confession you decide that if he didn't make a move you were going to.

The next day you were dressed up slightly and had a newfound confidence. You felt pretty and you were ready to make your move. You walk into science a few minutes after the bell and Eddie was already sitting there with his notebook out. Eddie doesn't notice that you walk in, too busy doodling, but he does notice the football player behind him gasp slightly and make a comment about some girl's body. Eddie groans in disgust thinking of how dumb football players are as he looks up. He was shocked to see you in tighter jeans and a tighter, shorter shirt. Usually, you're in comfy clothes so this makes his eyes widen. You notice the change in expression and you take it as a good sign.

You sit next to him and as the lesson starts he notices that your leg is touching his much more than usual. He cringes slightly and tries to move over without you noticing. Thankfully it doesn't seem like you notice.

The bell rings and Eddie is one of the first to pack up and try to leave the classroom. As he goes to escape into the hallway you stop him gently. "Hey Eddie can I talk to you?" Hearing your voice he stops and turns around thinking you want to plan a day to work on the next assignment. "What's up?"

You take a deep breath and gather the courage to tell him. "Eddie I really like you. I was wondering if you would want to go out this weekend?"

Eddie pauses and that makes you nervous. What feels like hours pass before he speaks again. "Oh...oh God I'm so sorry. I'm not into you like that. I actually have a date with Chrissy this weekend."

Eddie watches you as your heart drops and the color drains from your face. "Oh...okay. No big deal. Have fun this weekend" You say in a rush as you speed past him. He turns around to try and do damage control but as he turns he notices that you just disappeared into the crowded hallway once again.

So, you did the only thing you could think of. You ran and honestly, you were struggling to try to hold it together until the bathroom stall doors finally closed after you. The sobs wracked your body, causing you to double over. You were experiencing a pain that you have never felt before you swore that your heart is completely shattered. The tears came out endlessly, streaming down your face, smearing your carefully applied mascara, and leaving your face a complete mess. Of course, he didn't actually like you, why would he? You weren't a beautiful cheerleader or the most brilliant girl in the class. You were nowhere remotely cool. A wave of self-doubt and despair wash over you. Like nothing about you was good enough, nothing was beautiful anymore and the outfit you were wearing is burning your skin with embarrassment. You changed yourself for a guy and you're shocked people didn't just point and laugh in your face.

Your mind started to squirrel wondering how anyone could ever love you. How you could even let yourself imagine for a split second that ~he~ could ever love you. Sobs turned into gasps for air as you struggled to breathe through the pain. That primal and vulnerable need to disappear took over you. You should run away and never come back. That would be easier than facing this embarrassment and shame. Just to hide somewhere and not feel this feeling that has deepened itself in your soul. But there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. You've leaned your head against the stall door, letting out a deep sigh. Eventually, you had to go back out there and face the world, but for now, you've just wanted to stay in the bathroom and cry.

You hear the footsteps of the high school population echo through your ears. Once the bell rings you count to fifteen in your head and wait until you stop hearing those footsteps. Once it goes quiet you sit yourself up straight and take a deep ragged breath in and out before getting the courage to leave the bathroom and walk into the, now, empty hall. You sling your bag over your shoulder as you race out of the building hoping on everything you have that no one recognizes or spots you trying to escape.

No one seems to notice and if they did, well then no one cared and the more you think about it the more that seems more likely. You just had this deep need to escape and hide forever. "I never want to see Edward Munson again," You say angrily as you wipe away the endless stream of tears and right there you decide you were done with him forever.

This was hard. IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU ARE AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU ALL AND I'M SORRY THERE WAS NO FLUFF

If you somehow enjoyed this (Are you okay?!?! Who hurt you baby?) please still reblog it really means the world to me

I had some help with this one thank you so much @kokoshka67 if you didn't help idk if I would've finished this lol

Tagging: @b-ritney @tiannasfanfic @eiightysixbaby @zestychili @thefreak0fhawkinshigh

#eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagines #stranger things #stranger things angst #gracie writes #I am so sorry #requested #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine

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withthewindinherfootsteps · 1 year ago

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i saw “Jiang Yanli is a well-written character actually” and i had to follow you

Thank you very much! I do very much think she's a character people give very little credit to in the fandom – I did actually start writing a meta on this last year, and because I'm not sure when I'll finish it*, I'll post an excerpt here:

She’s a much deeper character than people give her credit for, and part of that stems from just how coherent her traits are with her background. And I feel bad for her, because she’s so much more well-written than people give her credit for. And more than that, she’s just so very human. She’s like Lan Xichen in a lot of ways (and the way that the fandom treats them is very similar, too). They’re both sheltered and naive, and often wilfully so, but ultimately want the best for the people they consider family. The only problem is that they’re not willing to confront their worldview to do that until it’s too late – they want the world to be like the comfort of how they think they is, and ignore the signs that point to something else. And that’s a very understandable! It takes a lot of courage to confront your worldview and replace it with a truth that’s worse, and not very many people have the courage to willingly do that – and that makes them flawed and perhaps complacent, but not evil in any way. And the best part about this in Jiang Yanli is that it makes perfect sense with the way she was brought up. She was sheltered pretty much all the time in her early life – she doesn’t go to Gusu to study, she doesn’t go to the Wen indoctrination camp, she doesn’t really experience anything that broadens her horizons and perspective and forces her to face and confront the harshness of the world. Even when Lotus Pier falls, she doesn’t experience it first-hand – which may hurt just as much, but yet again she doesn’t have to physically confront the Wen clan’s tyranny. She’s not brought up as a cultivator who goes out to face danger and fight foes and inevitably experience the harshness of the world, she’s brought up as somebody from a wealthy clan whose role is to marry for political gain into another wealthy family, where she’ll presumably be sheltered all her life, too. By that time the Fall of Lotus Pier happens, and everything else after that, she’s grown up and her mind isn’t as susceptible to being shaped by new experiences – her view of what the world is and how she thinks it is is already instilled into her, and much, much harder to change. And she wants nothing more to hold onto that world – she doesn’t want to venture out of her comfort zone or confront truths that may be painful. We see that all the time in her actions. During the Sunshot Campaign, during a war, what does she focus on? Her familiar childhood crush on Jin ZiXuan, and by extension the familiar life that was planned out for her; and her ability to make soup, something she made all the time at Lotus Pier for her family there. When Wei Wuxian is protecting the Wen remnants, what does she cling onto? The idea that nothing’s wrong, that he and her and Jiang Cheng can still be a happy family because that’s how it’s always been to her, even if that was never really the case, and even if it’s impossible; her soup, again, and it’s not just because she likes making the soup, it’s again symbolic of their childhood days in Yunmeng. During the gathering at Nightless City, why does she go? To see her brother one last time. I think that that aspect of her also stems from the volatility of Lotus Pier – she wants things to be predictable, to be safe, she wants to be in control of her grasp over the situation. That’s why she de-escalates conflict the way she does, that’s why she stays ignorant to the more sinister parts of the world. She wants things to stay how she knows them to be. She does try to distract people from conflict rather than resolving it, which can do more harm than help, but it makes sense with her character – she grew up in the incredibly volatile Lotus Pier, with her parents arguing all the time, and of course that affects her! Of course she wants to avoid that! And she takes after the only example she has of someone trying to de-escalate conflict, Jiang Fengmian, who does the same thing. (September 2022)

*I'm saying this because 1) I know I've been very inactive lately, which is because currently my hyperfixations are on other fandoms (they always cycle back around, but it can take a while) so it's harder to make myself write content here; and 2) because I haven't read MDZS in a while so don't want to write using only use information from my memory without canon sources, and risk misinterpreting something or giving a reading that doesn't fit with the source material. I do plan to read it again, but I'm not confident in how accurate I can be right now, and I definitely don't want to spread misinformation. Even the excerpt above doesn't have evidence ie quotes, which I'd quite like to back up the claims I make. But yes, thank you very much for the ask!

#mdzs meta #my asks #my meta #(sort of)#jiang yanli

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phychohex · 6 months ago

Text

I Met a Vampire Down in Santa Carla (chapter two)

Sitting down watching as Josh and Will search for a prop they lost in the water. Right now we are larping something we only did once a month cause they take so long. So far we have come to the beach and introduced my character. I play a high elf named Ismeth. Kayla sits next to us as we are currently out of game. "god can't believe those idiots actually put it in the water" she groans. She played teilfling rouge. She is currently in full get-up. I only had the ears on and a normal outfit that fit into my stepdad's stupid regulations. "should we help"

"you can" I huff she looks at me and laughs.

"no way are you still scared" Scared was a huge understatement. I had an insane phobia of the water but for all the right reasons. My dad had died in the ocean, I was there. Even though I went through years of intense therapy at a young age I never got over it. "how can a siren be scared of the ocean" she jokes and I shake my head. "I'm just fucking with you. I don't blame you, but you never really told me though what happened." She wasn't wrong even though we were the closest any two people could be I never could retell the story of that day. It always hurts too much. It doesn't help I was only five and what I do remember was through the eyes of a young child. I used to say a monster killed my dad and as far as I know that was true. The ocean is a monster.

A shriek of joy turns our attention back to Will. "found it" he exclaims and puts the game back on. We go over and look at a ceramic box with carving on it. Lilly holds it and flips through her book being a very powerful sossocer.

"I cast magic detection" hovering her hand over the box as Josh plays the role as Game master.

"Thy treasures may only be shown to one of true heart and courage. For if thou fail a deadly curse shall be cast down" We look at each other not sure what to do. Look at our barbarian who was played by Alex. He steps back shaking his head.

"you've fought a whole village of orcs come on" Kayla groans "That's pretty courageous"

"Who said I was scared to fight them"

"What are you talking about that has nothing to do with it" she snaps they always did this back and forth but that is only because their characters had been partners under odd circumstances. In reality, they got along very well.

"That defies the definition of courage" Lilly points out "Courage is shown when doing something even though it scares you"

"How is fighting a horde of orcs not terrifying tho" I ask

"I'm half" he shrugs. "besides it doesn't say a past act we have to do one now to prove to the box, so one of us should touch it that would be courageous"

"then do it" Kayla scuffs

"can't" he smiles "A tiny box doesn't scare the Mighty Throx" he boasts. "why not you?" she rolls her eyes.

"Have you not met me I'm anything but pure-hearted" Now lost with what to do. I go over to the water my heart racing.

"I will do it" I start not much of my character was known but this could be a good way to give a background. "my village was once attacked by a beast known as the Farquill. Many parished and my home was never the same yet somewhere out there the beast lay waiting to finish the job" I take a deep breath "I fear that if I ever step foot in the cold waters it will know" I let the water hit my feet before a loud crash. I turn to see Will smash the ceramic box on the ground.

"Juese dude" Josh snaps "trying to take someone out" I quickly step away "I also didn't want her to do that, you didn't have to do that Rory" he gave an apologetic look "But it worked." I go over and grab the scroll. it is a map. "that's it for today anyways um I guess we clean this up" I look at the time.

"shit" I start gathering my stuff.

"what" Lilly looks over "You okay"

"yeah, I'm going to be late I got to go" We all share our goodbyes and I drive to the tattoo shop. I enter with a ding of the bell going to the front desk waiting for Oscar. Instead, I'm greeted by a tall guy with short hair covered in tattoos sporting a goatee.

"How may I help you" he leans in smiling.

"I'm looking for Oscar" he turns and calls him.

Entering with that golly grin plastered on his face "Rory there you are Will told me you were on the way come on I'll show you where you can set up." I head back and the guy turns looking very displeased. I go back to; the shop being very high-end if I may say so. Each artist had a room to themselves. The room had all the stuff I needed. The chair for the client, a rolling stool, the drawers for all the supplies. "so you set up with all your stuff decorate as you like the shared supplies are down at the end of the hall." He smiles. The room was that of a small bedroom about 10x10. I go out to my car minding my own business noticing Oscar talking with the guy from before. I start loading my stuff in and making the room my own.

The tattoo gun I have is bright pink along with the gloves I use. I put a fluffy pink stool cover on making the place feel more like my own. I hang up some of my work all with a Pink wooden frame. The bride of Frankinsitne and Frankenstine both had rounded frames; putting them side by side facing each other. The other framed photo was a fairy with phycodelic cloud puff sitting on a mushroom smoking a hooka. Having to go get the shared shit from the storage room I leave making my way down the hall. I notice the man who greeted me glaring. Oscar comes out of his office offering to help.

"by the way this is Tyler he will be working night shift with you. It will be just you too at night." I hold out my hand and give him a handshake. "let me go get a box for you" Oscar walks off leaving me alone with tyler who didn't seem to thrilled to have me here. I could care less I wasn't here to be buddy buddy with people anyway. While it would be nice to be friends he didn't seem the type of person I'd be friends with. I'm here to do my thing and get paid that's all.

"can't believe I have a chick working with me" he huffs "When he said I was finally getting permanent help at night I didn't think he set me up with a newbie" Before more could be said under his breath Oscar came back showing me the supplies room.

"Is he always like that" I question. Oscar seemed all too clear knowing what I meant.

"just ignore him. All bark no bite, he has had some trouble with coworkers in general but he is damn good that's why I keep him. If you have any problem just let me know" reassuring me that I'd be okay and gathering what I needed before heading back to my area. It was quiet for the most part until some big dude with lots of tattoos covering his arms came in.

"oi, Rory right?" Tyler calls me over "I'll make a bet with you," intreged I walk over. "I want to see what you got. Round here respect is earned so whoever design he chooses wins bragging rights and gets to buy dinner on break deal" Feeling ballsy and a sense to prove myself I shake on it before going over. "how may I help you Tony" Apparently this was a recurring client knowing I might've made a bad decision.

"Sup, I'm looking to get a spider with an eye for the body. Just wanted to fill in some of the gaps" taking what he wanted and rushing off to start drawing what he wanted having a couple of ideas. I drew a normal spider and modified it by making the body like he wanted but it turned out kinda cartoony. Trying again to make it more photorealistic with the pupil being the hourglass-like a black widow. After about thirty minutes I go to see if Tyler was done and he was still working on the idea. He was good, so good it made me a bit nervous. He had the tarantula with the pattern being an eye it was realistic as well and in color. If it was my tattoo I'd probably choose him it would blend in and not be so obvious either. We go over Tony was impressed. "damn that's sick" he chuckles "I like this one" he fucking pointed to mine "Can it be in color" he asks "Thinking the eye can be red" I nod surprised he actually choose mine. The way I went about the design was a bit cartoony while Tyler's was more like something you'd see. Proud of myself we discuss everything.

I take him back and start setting up my station and doing the placement. After positioning it about twice I was ready. "would you like music or we can talk" I offer.

"music's fine" he smiles "What you got"

"not much sadly It's my first day in this shop so I haven't got the room completely decked out I can turn on a station if you'd like" I offer playing with the station till it is what he prefured. I get started my mind hyperfocused on what I was doing. I was finally in my zone. My mind was at ease nothing could stop my flow. I loved when clients wanted music, while I don't mind talking I'd much rather just vibe. I move on to the coloring after what felt like only thirty minutes even though I doubt it was. I felt thirsty leaning up and stopping the clock.

"is everything ok" The concern in his voice was a bit startling.

"yeah I just need something to drink real quick" I smile.

"you pay by hour no?"

"I do that's why I stopped the clock, I charge for the work I do not for taking breaks. Can I get you anything while I'm up?"

"Could I get some water too if you don't mind" I nod and go to get our drinks I glance at the time it has been almost two hours. fifty bucks. I was nowhere near done maybe another two to go. I come back refreshed and let him sit and relax some before resterilizing and going back to work this time no music.

"so where did you work before this"

"I worked in a shop called Vixxin it was in New Mexico"

"you from there"

"no I just moved back" I smile. "so when did you start your collage" I joke

"When I was bout your age I think. I was fucking around with some friends and got a stick and poke after a few of those I got addicted." we start talking about the addiction tattoo and how some had meanings. He was a war vet and had a big eagle on his bicep. Having served in Vietnam he moved to Santa Carla afterwards. The war changed him having seen such horrible things made him want to help those. Like the victims he saw in the war the civilians who just happened to be in the way of fire. He is currently a firefighter and has a kid on the way.

Wrapping things up and heading to the front his total wasn't bad. I did great; being really proud of my work. "I hope you enjoy and congratulations on the kiddo" I smile

"thanks and you know this was one of the best services I've gotten can I tip." Not sure if it was allowed I called for Oscar who still happened to be here.

"how can I help" He smiles

"Can we accept a tip ?"

"Yeah," I'm handed twenty-five which was a pleasant surprise. Having a happy customer made my night that much better. "well shit look at that keep up the good work." Oscar pats my back "I'm going to get going here in a bit"

"do you want me to just put it in a jar in the front?" I ask not sure of the rules on tips.

"Nah that's yours I believe if you earn it it's yours. My wife used to be a waitress and came home always mad about how she had to split her hard-earned money with people who sat around. So that's yours be proud." I go back to my room cleaning up again when I hear the ding. I go to see a woman waiting.

"How may I help you" I smile. The rest of the night was easy I had one other quick tattoo customer and did a few pricings. I started my reservations and appointments for clients. When break rolled around Tyler ordered a pizza and ignored me for the rest of the night pissy that I won the bet which was the icing on top. While sweeping up the floors and going around to start closing up shop Tyler comes out.

"you did good," He mutters still butt hurt.

"thank you" I smile "I got it from here if you want to go" I offer trying to be on a more friendly term with him.

"No it's fine you go I got it" he starts towards the back.

"Are you sure" I look at him and he nods I finish what I am doing before grabbing my things and heading out. The boardwalk was slowly closing the only places still open being a twenty-four hour convenience store as well as a few bars that didn't close till five. I get in my car and drive over to the store to get a snack and a drink. As I am checking out I hear the loud engines of bikes outside. I glance over to meet the blue eyes of the man from a few nights ago. Being almost entranced by them.

"is that all" the teenager working the counter asks with a bratty attitude. I look over nodding handing her the money before making my way out. They just sat there getting gas and all loudly talking. Having noticed me staring he leans forward against the handles nodding his head up eyebrows doing the same smirking. I quickly look away before getting in my car and heading home. I unlock the front door and enter not expecting Steve to be waiting nearly scaring the wits out of me.

"oh my god," I jump dropping my bag. I groan and pick my stuff up ready for the earful of whatever bullshit was about to spew out of his mouth.

"where were you" he questions "It's almost four in the morning"

"I was at work" I move past him "I told you I got it why are you surprised" Setting my things down on the counter I try to ignore him.

"you said you get off at three" he snaps

"I needed gas" opening the fridge to put my things away which was quickly slammed shut in my face.

"you will look at me when I am talking to you" He yells. "how do you expect to get shit done if you are out all night"

"what do you mean" I snap back.

"We agreed you'd help did we not"

"yes, I have a job though so I can pay you rent if you want and I will buy my food didn't Mom tell you"

"she did but that isn't any of her business this is my house Rory" he yells "So this is what will happen you will give me half of every paycheck." he smiles thinking he did something.

"Okay," I shrug.

Not getting the reaction he wanted he grits his teeth hissing under his breath"Well how much do you make then"

"a month" I get out a paper to go some quick math. "bout 4,500" I look over his eyes wide.

"bullshit" he snaps throwing whatever was close causing me to jump. "what do you really make" I shake my head handing him the paper. "there is no fucking way you make that much"

"on a good month yeah I would" I nod backing up not sure what he wanted me to say. "I do okay for myself, I don't get why you are so mad"

"Because I won't tolerate lying" he yells. My mom walked in just as confused as I was. "so how much" his face slowly turning red with rage. "an hour how much"

"twenty-five minus like 20%"

"Bullshit" He yells realizing his ego was hurt. He didn't want to believe I made so much. Even though it felt good to know I bruised his elated ego it was fucking terrifying.

"Fifteen" I blurt out saying the lowest but most believable number I could think of.

"there see why didn't you just say that hmm." smiling satisfied "No need to lie to me Rory, now I should expect about thirteen hundred right?" he asks and I nod not being able to move. It was like every muscle in my body was so tense that if you pointed a gun at me I wouldn't be able to move. The terror that filled me was too intense. He fixes himself to hide the rage fit he just had. "now I need to get going I love you both" He goes over to my mom kissing her head. "I'll be home later" before leaving. My eyes were wide as I looked over at my mom who was just as frozen as I was. What the fuck was that. I've never seen him act like that the whole time I've known him. Sure he was a horrible person but the shift of emotion was baffling. If he got mad it would take a long time for him to cool down we would hear about it all day but just smile say I love you then walk off. That was horrifying it's like a psychopath was just yelling at me. I go over to the broken object that he threw to clean. Mom springing in action as well. While cleaning up trying to help her with housework both of us kept quiet.

"what time did you get home" she asks while I help her with the dishes.

"like four" I mutter. She nods and glances over.

"don't you have work tonight" I nod "Honey go get some rest it's almost noon" I look at her. "don't worry I won't tell. As long as you are working he doesn't have to know that I do the housework by myself you are doing your part."

"I wasn't lying," I tell her my voice meek.

"I know, I'm proud of you. Doing what you love and doing so well. Jokes on him in the end though." she chuckles I look over her smile real not like when I first saw her when I got here. That's how she made it. Every time he got things wrong or showed his ass in front of people it filled her with the same sick joy of finally someone sees him for the bastard he is and how he isn't as tough as he seems, so fragile. Even though that fear plagued the back of her mind the fear that made it to where she would feel this joy in private. I knew this feeling too well the only hope for her was if she did what I did. She didn't have the resources though. No family to run back to. I won't leave no matter if it is worse than it was. I will stay and never leave her alone like I did again, if I do leave it will be with her going with me I vow that.

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michelletan345 · 2 years ago

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Home is not merely a dwelling. It’s not merely a state of existence. It’s a story, a narrative spun out day by day, a story molded by the walls and hours and tasks and feasts with which we fill our time, reflecting the reality of the God whose love animates every aspect of our being.

The story is always possible. The narrative of home, the new creation of belonging, is one we can always begin anew, wherever we dwell. We don't have to have a perfect family, a healthy background. We don't have to have lived in one place. We don't have to own a mansion or even a house. Nothing is required for the making of a home except a heart that loves God, an imagination fired by His Spirit, and hands ready to create. And, well, a bit of courage, too. It takes grit to confront those fallen realms of loneliness, those empty spaces, and fill them. But when we do, the Kingdom comes in the homes we make as the love of God becomes flesh in our lives once more.

This is what I tell myself each time I arrive, lonely and homesick once again, in the void spaces of a new life. I write to you out of my own long battle to find and make the kind of home that shaped me. I'm still holding out for a cottage with a garden someday, but until then, I know that each new little student room is my space of possible creation.

It's why, after that moment of panic or fear or loneliness on that first new morning, I will shove my jetlagged or car weary limbs out of bed and survey the mound of boxes or suitcases. I will look around me at the bags I havent unpacked and the clothes I haven't folded. I will stare down every inch of my foreign little room until it meets my gaze. I will sigh, very deeply. And then I will rise with an exertion of will that feels like the lifting of a massive weight, and I will do what I have done with every adventure before. I will begin to build a life, and that means I will begin to build a home.

I will open the window and let the stale air of the night seep away. I'll brew some coffee and find a way to play music, strong and sweet, into the quiet spaces, the old Celtic melodies I love or the throaty songs of the artists I have hummed along with since childhood. Amidst the melody, I will begin to order the spaces of my new existence. I will unpack, fold and stack. I will e-mail my mother and battle that black, hot darkness of loneliness with every atom of order and loveliness I can muster. I will pile books on the old shelves, set out a few family photos, cram flowers into whatever random jug I can find.

Then I'll foray out in search of tea and bread and find a charity shop where I can garner a poster or two for those gray walls - or even better, some vividly illustrated cards or woodcuts. I'll seek out a vase for the flowers, an old scarf to drape over the sagging student desk. I'll gather them all together and head back to my tiny room. And when it is all finished, when I've christened my work with a first cup of tea, I'll sigh again and begin the next adventure of finding a few lonely souls to invite into my tiny, makeshift home.

As I do all of this, I am aware of the Kingdom coming. As I order and hope, fill and form, the Holy Spirit is renewing one more corner of the world. Here, in my room, the fallen stuff of the broken earth is being formed back into love, into home. There's no place like it.

- The Life-giving Home, Sally and Sarah Clarkson

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raibebe · 4 years ago

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Love Is On Air

Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk

A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin, @moonctzeny, @lenaluvs, @lucas-wongs, @burtonized and to @ncteaxhoe who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.

“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.

“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”

While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.

“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”

“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”

Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.

“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail [email protected] to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.

Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.

Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.

“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.

Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.

And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”

The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.

“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”

While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.

From: Johnny Are you watching our show?

To: Johnny Sure, you look good today

From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)

“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”

“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.

That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.

With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.

Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.

“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.

When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.

“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.

“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”

Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”

Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.

“Move,” you demanded after a while. “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.

“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.

“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.

For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.

“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.

“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

1K notes · View notes

hanjizung · 3 years ago

Text

♡ He's Got It. ♡

Changbin x Reader.

Word Count: 1.2k

♡ Warnings ♡: smut, nipple play, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, overstimulation.

A/n: just a lil something i had in my drafts. hope u enjoy!

The day before felt eternal. It had started as just another movie night with Changbin, you brought some takeout, he proposed a movie marathon and then while eating and letting the movies play in the background, a conversation about how the two of you had been since you last saw each other started, nothing out of the ordinary.

Everything was going good, until he asked you about one of the hook ups you had told him about through your texts and after a sip of his beer he gathered the courage to ask you if he had been the reason why you had to cancel the last movie night. You nodded, your lips tight shut in a thin line as you looked somewhere else with blushing cheeks.

“But I must admit that the sex was incredible. I’m gonna miss him” you sighed, eating another spoon of the delicious warm food.

Changbin couldn’t resist the urge and muttered under his breath “you’re not gonna miss him, you’ll miss his dick”, resulting in you choking when you realized what he had just said, glancing at him through the corner of your eye in a menacing way, making him shrug with a playful smirk on his face, but opting not to say anything about it.

Some minutes after finishing your dinner and staying in silence, Changbin suddenly said “I’m sure I could fuck you better than he did” out of nowhere, confusing you.

You froze, but looked at him. He appeared to be a little mad, which only confused you more. What could he possibly be mad about? You two had been friends for a long time now, since your second year of highschool when you were forced to work together, and became inseparable after that time.

You knew he was handsome, he started going to the gym just when you started college, so he had more muscles and his arms were… thicker than before, and not to add that he never failed to follow the skincare routine you had told him about, so his skin was perfect, his lips were so full and they always looked so pillowy... and besides that, his personality was amazing. It all made you realize that maybe you had a crush on him.

A crush that you thought was impossible to get over with, because no matter how much you tried to forget about him by dating, kissing and fucking around with other men, none of them were him.

You wanted your best friend, you wanted to kiss him, hold him, to physically be with him…

Changbin was well known by girls. He was a party boy, after all. You’ve had plenty of girls trying to get close to you, because they also wanted to get close to him. They weren’t dumb, obviously, because since the rumour of how good he worked on his partners started spreading, everyone started going crazy over him.

You had no clue if he had heard about it, but since the moment that rumour reached your eyes, you kind of were dying of curiosity to know if it was true or just him lying to his friends so he had the image of a sex god.

Either way, your crush only helped the sexual tension between the two of you.

It was noticeable when he got closer to you and you moved because of the effect he had on you, when he licked his lips after drinking from his beer, or when his shirts seemed to get tighter around his chest and arms… It drove you fucking crazy, but you had to stay strong and not give in to your desires and throw yourself at him, no. You wanted to still be friends with him, you didn’t know what could possibly happen if you were to have sex with him, and you didn’t want to find out. It was a friendship too beautiful to ruin it for just a quick fuck.

“I'm pretty sure Hyunjin would argue with you if he heard you,” you said, crossing your legs and rolling your eyes, trying to be as convincing as you could to show that you didn’t care what he was saying. He simply chuckled next to you.

“How about I fuck you, and then you decide who’s better, hmm? What do you think?” he asked. You stared at him; one of his arms resting on the back of the couch, his legs spread and his hand holding his beer. You hated him, you hated how he looked so attractive just sitting there, doing nothing.

“You think you can do better than him? Alright, I’ll be the judge,” you replied. Those were the words that doomed you, and now you were there, trapped under him in the couch of his living room, panties wet as your fantasy of being kissed by the one and only Seo Changbin finally came to life. He had his lips on you, his hands on your breast under your shirt made him smirk in the kiss when he felt your hardened nipple and he wasted no time, pinching you and drawing a muffled moan from you at the sudden sensation.

He removed his fingers from your nipple. tugging at your shirt to try and hurriedly take it off so he could see your boobs and when he finally succeeded in his mission, he stared at your nakedness, his throat suddenly dry and with the need to lick his bruised lips. You would’ve never expected to see Changbin like this, the way his eyes absorbed your form… His hard cock made it known to you that he also wanted this, and you wished that you weren’t the only one imagining each other when you fucked with other people.

“Are you going to fuck me, or what?” you asked, breathing heavy and voice hoarse. He winked at you instead of answering, his hands going to unzip his pants and free his cock from his underwear. Without doubt, he was probably also waiting for this, the precum on his cock exposing his hornyness.

After undoing your own jeans as well, you nodded to let him know that you were more than ready and as soon as he could, he pressed himself at your entrance and slowly penetrated you, sighing in satisfaction when he felt how your warm walls embraced him. You moaned too when he was fully inside, that delicious first stretch made you feel full. It was incredible, that much you could say.

He thrusted, starting with a slow pace and focusing on your chest after. The combination of both him inside you and his tongue and hand playing with your nipples had your mind feeling like a hurricane was inside. Sure, other partners had done that for you but they focused on either fucking you, or playfully biting your buds. Somehow, Changbin was making it work and had you rolling your eyes blank in pure satisfaction, making you sing out moans like a morning bird after the sun came out. He changed, from one nipple to the other and also not forgetting to roll his hips to the deepest spot he could get inside you.

You were loving every second of this, enjoying yourself too much that during your incoherent babbling you tried to warn him that you were close, only to come around him while pulling his hair and chant his name along with ‘you’re amazing, fuck, fuck fuck…’ followed a moment later by him coming inside you with a growl. When he finished, he looked at you with that proud smirk you hated so much.

“I’m glad that you agreed with me, I fucked you better than how Hyunjin or anyone could ever fuck you."

#changbin smut #kpop smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #seo changbin smut #seo changbin fanfic #changbin x reader #changbin x you #changbin x y/n #original content #mine

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nerdyfangirl67 · 3 years ago

Text

With a Little Help From the Team - NCIS Reader Insert

Pairing: Tim McGee x fem!reader, Gibbs x daughter!reader (brief/vague)

Word count: 2717

Warnings: this was a pretty fluffy piece! (not gonna lie), mild language, reader is Gibbs’ daughter

Request: @ncisfan “Hello! I saw your post from this morning saying you didn’t have any requests for ncis at the moment and I wanted to make a request. If for some reason you don’t want to write it that’s okay but here’s my prompt,(Idk what to call it) The reader and McGee have been dating for years and McGee has to tell the whole team (Tony, McGee, Bishop, Gibbs. That team please!) including her dad (Gibbs, cause why not?) when he wants to propose. You can decide on if they say yes or no but I hope you’ll write it. Sorry if I’m overwhelming you I just wanted to make a request”

A/N: I know I’ve told you this @ncisfan , but I absolutely love this idea! And a McGee x reader? Yes please! I did put this in both McGee’s and the reader’s point of view and changed it up a bit. (Yeah, I got super involved in this one and it got longer than I thought…and took far longer than I thought) I hope you enjoy it darling!!

Tim stands in the bullpen, nervously trying to find the right words to tell the team about you, the team of which just so happened to include the one man capable of making him feel like a young schoolboy still wet behind the ears, especially since that one man had a lot to do with what Tim was about to say.

Tim takes a deep breath to gather his last bit of courage and confidence, which promptly fades away the moment he starts talking.

“I uh…well you know that I’ve been seeing, no dating…dating Y/N.” Tim stutters out as his nerves get the better of him, completely fumbling the carefully planned out speech he had come up with prior to meeting with Gibbs.

Gibbs narrows his steely blue eyes as he wordlessly nods his head, telling Tim to continue.

“Things have been going well, really well actually. And I’ve been wanting to, or meaning to…not that I was putting it off, because I wasn’t. That’s the last thing-”

Gibbs cut him off with a “Spit it out McGee.”

“What I’m asking is for your permission, no..that’s not - I want to propose to her.” He was speaking so fast, his words were nearly running together, his sentences jamming together into one that didn’t make much sense.

Gibbs doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, he continues to stare at Tim, looking for any trace of deception in his face. “Why?” He asks gruffly, startling Tim.

“Wh-why?” Tim squeaks out, an uneasy feeling weighing on his chest as he tries to find the right words to answer a question he hadn’t prepared for.

“Yes, McGee. Why? Why do you want to marry my daughter?” Gibbs pauses, still evaluating Tim and his reaction. “Why should I want you to marry my daughter?”

Tim takes a deep breath, a sudden burst of confidence washing over him as he realizes that the answer to such a question was right in front of him. “Because I love her… honestly, I have for a long time, even before we started dating. And, more than anything, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to spend every day that I have left in this life showing her I love her and cherishing her the way she deserves. I can’t imagine my life without her in it.”

Gibbs surprises him then, with a small smile and a hearty clasp to his shoulder. “Alright then, probie. Now all you have to do is tell her that and of course, ask her to marry you.”

Had it been any other girl, McGee might not be struggling as much to find the words. But you weren’t just any girl. You were not only Gibbs' daughter, something that caused him far more fear than he’d ever admit (he was dating the boss’ daughter after all), but you were also close with the other members of the team, which made this whole ordeal all the more nerve wracking.

You had come to know the members of the team through your job as a technical analyst for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, meaning you spent most of your time hunting down case leads in a cubicle. Then, as you grew better at your job, and closer to Abby (who had had something to do with getting you on Gibbs team, although she’d never admit to it), you had been moved from that cubicle to a desk in Gibbs’ bullpen, unceremoniously joining the team, although not full-time as you still worked with the cyber/tech unit, your father thought so highly of (something he would never admit out loud, even to you).

You eventually became just as close to Abby as your father was, something Abby always attributed to ‘a Gibbs thing’, - “It must be a Gibbs thing because Y/N is just as great as Jethro and we just click.” Many times, if you weren’t working on a case, you could be found hanging out in the lab with Abby.

You and Tony were best friends, spending hours talking about movies and pranking each other. And, despite your “geeky background” of tech analysis, Tony never once teased you (a courtesy Tony had never given him). In fact, he had become something of a big brother to you, filling a role in your life you hadn’t ever thought you’d needed filled.

And then Ziva had joined the team, filling in little by little that hole that had been left after Kate’s death. Even with the high tension existing between Abby and Ziva, you and Ziva had hit it off right away, becoming fast friends. Eventually, despite the perceived oddness of your friendship, you, Abby, and Ziva became an inseparable trio, even occasionally ganging up together against Tony or Gibbs.

Suffice to say, you were important to the team, just as they were to you. And now Tim was faced with telling these people that he not only had been dating you (a relationship the two of you had decided to keep relatively quiet because of your line of work and the fact that you were often times coworkers), but that he was going to ask you to marry him, a proposal of which he was seeking the team’s help with.

“So, uh...I-well, I’ve been seeing, er...dating-” Tim starts, his mind scrambling as he tries to form a coherent sentence.

“McGee, the chickadee is out of the bag. We all know you’re dating Y/N.” Ziva says matter of factly,

“Cat, Ziva, the cat is out of -” Tony starts reflexively, before pausing and turning to Tim and then to Gibbs, his mouth hanging open. “Wait-what? You’re the one Y/N has been dating?” He asks incredulously.

Gibbs takes a step forward, slapping Tony on the back of the head. “Close your mouth DiNozzo.” Tony’s jaw snaps shut at the command.

“Keep talking McGee.” Gibbs says gruffly, his piercing blue eyes settling on Tim.

“I’m going to ask her to marry me.” Tim blurts out.

“We kind of knew that McGee.” Abby states, her lips pulled into a satisfied smirk. “I mean, you haven’t exactly been stealthy about ring shopping. Or buying the ring. Or getting it inscribed.” Abby lists off, earring a few incredulous looks from the other members of the team. “Y/N’s my best friend, okay? I had to make sure the ring was a good one.”

Tony turns to McGee. “McRomeo getting married? Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?” Tony steps forward to give Tim a good-natured shoulder shove. “You like it so you’re putting a ring on it, huh?” He asks with a Cheshire Cat-like grin on his face. Ziva is the one who moves to slap him in the back of the head this time.

“Ow, Ziva. What the hell was that for?” Tony asks, a hand already rubbing the spot Ziva had just smacked on the back of his head.

“When will you ever shut up and let McGee finish?” She questions, giving Tony a pointed glare. He opens his mouth to respond, but a hard look from Gibbs keeps him quiet.

Tim timidly clears his throat before continuing. “I’d like to do it here. And, um...I’d like to do it here, with all of you.” Smiles spread through the group at Tim’s words, several ideas already being blurred out by the more enthusiastic members of the team (it was Abby. Abby was already excitedly sharing ideas with the person sitting next to her, which just so happened to be Gibbs.)

——— You squeeze Tim’s hand before letting go, reaching for the handle to your car door. “See you at work.” You say with a soft smile before turning back towards your car.

“Let’s, um, let’s ride together today, to work I mean.” Tim stammers nervously, a hand on top of your driver’s side door, stopping you from leaving.

“Are you sure? I thought we were trying to keep this, us, quiet.” You ask, stepping away from your car and closer to him. He cups the side of your face with his hand, leaning forward to press a soft, chaste kiss to your lips.

“Just once, okay?” He asks quietly, a sheepish smile on his face.

You let out a small laugh. “Just this one time, alright Agent McGee?” You say with a smile, letting him take your hand and lead you towards his car. He opens the passenger door for you, closing it behind you before getting in the driver’s side. The entire ride into work is marked with Tim either giving you a huge dopey grin or a quick nervous glance, which only serves to make you suspicious, as if the insisting to ride together didn’t already.

Tim pulls into his usual parking spot, shutting off the car before turning to you. “How about we walk in together?” He asks hesitantly, a shy smile accompanying his question.

You quirk an eyebrow up at his question before responding, “Tim, it might make it pretty obvious what’s going on between us if we do that.” “Let’s do it anyway, Y/N.” He reaches over to squeeze your hand before climbing out of the driver’s side of the car and making his way to your side of the car. He opens the passenger door for you, offering you a hand to help you out, which you graciously accept. He continues to hold your hand after you are out of the car and as the two of you walk into the building, only letting go as the two of you go through security.

The two of you are the only ones on the elevator and for the entirety of the short ride, you can almost feel Tim vibrating beside you with some sort of nervous energy. You bring his hand up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to it before murmuring, “You okay?” He gives you a tight nod in response just as the elevator dings, announcing its arrival on your floor of the building.

You press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Have a good day Tim, I love you.” You say, moving towards the open doors of the elevator. Tim reaches a hand out, grasping yours and stopping your exit out of the elevator.

“I, uh, I’ve got to give you something. It’s in my desk drawer, in the...bullpen.” He stammers out, quickly retracting his hand to wipe it against his suit jacket.

“Oh, can I get it at lunch?” You ask, turning back towards the front of the elevator and pressing the button to reopen the doors.

“No.” He shouts, startling you enough that you take a step back away from the sliding doors. “I mean, come with me?”

“What is up with you today Tim?” You demand, his unexplained, unnatural behavior causing your suspicions to rise, a million questions running through your head.

“Just...please.” His voice is thick with emotion, his words coming out barely above a whisper.

You silently nod your head, stepping back into the elevator and allowing the doors to close as you press the button for the floor that the NCIS team resided on. You spare a look over at Tim, whose is rubbing his hands up and down his slacks, his face turned towards the ceiling of the elevator and his lips moving in silent words.

“Tim, what is going on? You’ve been acting weird all morning and I just-” The elevator dings, announcing your arrival on the floor of the bullpen and effectively cutting you off.

Tim puts a hand over the doors, stopping them from closing as he looks at you, his kaleidoscopic eyes pleading with you to understand and to trust him. You give a small nod, taking his outstretched hand in your own and following him to the bullpen.

Right away, you notice the lights over the area of the office you’d come to know as your father’s, as Gibbs’, were off. A flash of fear settles in your chest as you begin to picture all the possible scenarios as to why your father’s part of the office was empty and dark, none of them positive. You start to walk faster, almost pushing past Tim, to get to the bullpen. You suddenly stop short when your eyes fall on Tony’s desk.

Instead of finding your best friend seated at his desk or even finding his desk empty, you see that Tony’s desktop is covered with picture frames. Your curiosity wins out over the rising fear in your chest and you step closer to the desk to inspect the framed photos.

“Oh,” A breath of surprise leaves you as you realize that they were photos of you and of Tim, taken at different times in your relationship. A series of pictures of the two of you from your second date, taken in one of the photo kiosks that you find at the mall. The two of you making goofy faces at each other in the bullpen. You and Tim bent over a computer, faces serious as you both stare at the screen. You turn to Tim’s desk next, finding it filled with vases of flowers in your favorite color.

You move towards them, leaning down to inhale their fragrant scent, your gaze landing on your father’s desk and the photos scattered across the desktop, similar to Tony’s desk, except these were pictures you’d taken of the two of you. One of the pictures from your first trip together, from the date when Tim had told you he loved you, and the first case the two of you had worked on together and a series of selfies you’d taken with Tim at various times; all laid out like a timeline of your relationship.

After a few long moments, you lift your gaze towards Ziva’s desk, curiosity seizing you as you find her desk almost empty. You quickly make your way to the front of the desk, your eyes landing on the single piece of white paper, with only one small paragraph scrawled out in the middle of the page.

Y/N,

I love you and I have something I have wanted to tell you, or rather ask you, for a long time now. I know you’re probably wondering what that question is, so if you’d turn around, I’d like to ask you it.

You slowly turn around, the paper clutched to your chest and your heart racing in your chest as your eyes find Tim’s. He gives you a small, honest smile as he takes a step forward, his hands clasping around yours before he kneels down on one knee in front of you. Your breath catches in your throat as you realize what is happening.

“I’ve loved you for years. First, as a friend, and then as a boyfriend, and now...now I want to love you as your fiance, and eventually as your husband. Would you, Y/N Gibbs, do me the honor of being my wife?” In his hands is a modest red velvet ring box, a platinum band adorned with three small diamonds nestled on the inside of the open box.

A lump forms in your throat and as you try to speak, to say yes, nothing comes out. Instead, you nod your head vigorously and close the distance between the two of you. Tim stands fully just as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in against you. You vaguely register noise in the background, noise you later learn is from the various members of ‘your’ NCIS team, as you feel him kiss your cheek.

“I love you.” You whisper softly before pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, savoring in the feeling of his lips against yours.

“And I love you.” He gives you a deep kiss in return, leaning in to cup a hand along the back of your neck. After a moment, you pull back enough to smile widely at him, the realization that this man would become your husband, the man that you got to spend the rest of your life with, starts to dawn on you, filling you with elation and excitement, not only for your wedding but for the future you’d had with the man you loved.

Tagging:

@madamsnape921 @ncisfan @thisiscalm-andits-doctor

#ncis #ncis fandom #ncis fanfic #ncis fanfiction #ncis female reader #ncis female reader insert #ncis reader #ncis reader insert #ncis team x reader #tim #tim mcgee #timothy mcgee #mcgee #tim mcgee x reader #tim mcgee x female reader #tim mcgee x you #mcgee x reader #mcgee x fem!reader #tim mcgee reader insert

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randomshyperson · 4 years ago

Text

Sorry for your loss - Final Chapter

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction pining, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, domestic Wanda, hurtful behaviors.

Chapter Warnings: Mention of Smut, Brief Smut.

Tag list: @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @imapotatao // @aimezvousbrahms / @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia // @myperfectlovepoem

Author’s note: I don't know what to say exactly, just good reading, and sorry for any spelling/translation errors. I hope you enjoy the ending, and who knows, maybe a second season?

Read on AO3 || Serie Masterlist here

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Chapter Five - I will love again

You were up early on the weekend.

Since you were going to travel to New Jersey for Wanda's father's wedding anniversary, you didn't want to keep her waiting.

When you arrived at Wanda's house, she was already on her feet, running back and forth through the house, trying to find Tommy's lost toy, who kept crying that he wouldn't travel without it.

"Make yourself at home, I just need to find that bear." She said to you as she opened the door. You placed your only luggage on the floor as you looked around. Billy was watching television, and Tommy was sitting on the kitchen counter, crying.

You walked over to him.

"Hey, Tommy, why are you crying?" You asked stopping beside him, keeping your voice calm so as not to make him more nervous.

"I want my teddy bear!" He cried out between tears.

"Mommy will find it for you." You reply. "What is the name of your teddy bear?"

"Star Lord." Sniffles the boy. Your distraction is working, because he stops crying to talk.

"Wow, that's an incredible name!" You say. "How did you get the Star Lord?"

Tommy sniffles again, wiping his tears with his forearm.

"I got it for my birthday." He counters. "Billy got a skateboard, but Star Lord is cooler."

"Is that so?" You retort with interest in your voice, realizing that Tommy was barefoot and his socks were on the countertop, you show him that you are interested in hearing him talk as you help him finish getting dressed for the trip.

"Yes, it came in a huge, red box." Tommy counted with a smile as he gestured at the size of the object. "And he sleeps with me every night, so I need him to go to Grandpa's house."

"Oh, yes, of course you do." You agree with a smile as you tie the boy's shoelaces. "Do you remember the last place you played with Star Lord?"

Tommy sniffles thoughtfully.

"I don't know." He replies tearfully, you rush to ask about his favorite memory with the bear to avoid him to cry again, and it works.

When you finish tying the child's shoes, you pick him up on your lap as he tells you about the day he took Star Lord swimming, and then you sit him down in the living room next to his brother, and he is distracted enough by the cartoon on the TV to forget about the teddy bear.

Wanda joins you in the living room a minute later, looking nervous and with her hands empty.

"Hey, I think I have an idea." You tell her as you mentally review the things Tommy said. "Finish getting them to the car, I'll go find the bear."

You found it.

Ten minutes after you left the room, inside the pool.

Wanda couldn't hold back her laughter when you arrived in front of the car with your wet clothes up to pool height.

"Your idea was to get into the pool instead of using the cleaner to reach the bear?" She teased as soon as you handed her the toy. You laughed awkwardly, watching her give the bear to Tommy and seeing the boy celebrate excitedly. "You're not getting in my car wet like that."

You laugh, and then you have an idea. Approaching Wanda with open arms, you see her raise her finger in warning, but you are already hugging her with wet clothes, making her laugh.

The joke only ends because Pietro is parking the car in front of the house next, looking at you both curiously.

"Should I let dad know we're going to be late?" He teases putting his sunglasses up. You let go of Wanda as both of your giggles slowly stop, the two of you looking like children who have been caught up to mischief. "Come on girls, we have a road ahead of us."

"Shut up Pietro." Wanda grumbled humorously, starting to push you into the house by the shoulders. "Watch the boys while we get changed."

"Yes, ma'am." He retorted wryly as he took off his seat belt and got out of the car. You let Wanda push you inside.

Upstairs, you had smiles on your faces as she searched for clothes that would fit you.

"Are you sure it isn't better if I grab something I brought in my suitcase?" You ask distractedly as Wanda rummages through the closets.

"I don't want you to be one change of clothes short, I don't know what we'll end up doing over there." Wanda retorted. "And don't worry about it."

Wanda eventually handed you a set of very soft sweatshirts and underwear. You smiled in appreciation, looking away from the clothes in your hand to the woman in front of you.

As you turned toward the bathroom, Wanda spoke.

"You can stay."

Swallowing dryly, and ignoring the unregulated beating of your heart you turned to her again, one eyebrow raised not sure you had understood correctly.

Wanda sighed heavily, as if she was gathering the courage to say it again. But her gaze said it all. She was inviting you to change in front of her.

You felt your face heat up, but you gulped dryly, forcing yourself to reason correctly.

"I... I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" Wanda retorted in defiance, and you let out a breathless laugh. She seemed to misunderstand your reaction, because her expression immediately fell. "Oh, you don't want to. Damn it, I..."

"What?" you interrupted quickly. "No, Wanda. I want to." You confess half breathlessly. "I really do."

"Oh."

You shift your weight between your feet, feeling your stomach turn with the way Wanda looks at you.

"But not like this." You say, swallowing dryly to confess correctly. You approach Wanda slowly as you speak. "Not in a hurry." Wanda breathes heavily, leaning back against the cabinet. You stop walking just inches from her body. "I want to be with you, with enough time to kiss every inch of your skin.” You confess again her lips. “Touch every spot that will make you lose control and scream my name."

"Fuck." Wanda gasped against your mouth, almost near enough to touch while closing her eyes.

Ignoring the tightening sensation at the tip of your stomach, you fought your baser instincts and pulled away, sighing.

"Let's hurry before your brother comes to get us."

You smiled at Wanda, ignoring the urge to kiss her. She just nodded, trying to normalize her breathing. You took advantage of her lack of reaction to turn around and walk towards the bathroom. You had better get out of there soon, because you feel that you couldn't resist that woman again.

//-//

Tommy and Billy were singing in the back seat as you drove to New Jersey. You laughed at the scene, thinking they were adorable.

Your gaze was watchful on the road, following Pietro's car to his father's house.

When Wanda began to murmur the song, you looked at her for a moment. Absolutely stunning, with her red hair flying in the wind, the smile in the corner on her lips. The sunlight making her eyes sparkle.

Turning your attention forward because Wanda caught you looking, you bit back a smile, feeling your heart race a little. But neither of you commented, and you didn't care that Wanda was looking at you now.

//-//

When you arrived, you whistled impressed at Erik's residence. It was practically a mansion, but really it was just a very well built summer house. The neighborhood was very nice too. Wanda smiled playfully at you when she noticed your reaction.

The boys ran out of the car, excited to hug their grandfather who was already waiting for them at the door. They also hugged Charles, who was a short, balding man, very friendly.

"Grandpa, can we go ride the horses?" Tommy asked excitedly, and the man laughed lightly.

"Go wash your hands and get something to eat first okay, boy?" Erik said to the boy, ruffling his hair.

The child agreed, entering the house along with his brother and his cousin, who had gotten out of the cars shortly after.

You were unpacking the bags from the car after parking and felt your breath catch when Wanda picked up one of the bags and caressed your hand with her fingers as you handed it to her. She smiled innocently, passing you to walk toward the door, and you cleared your throat before closing the trunk and following her.

"You must be Y/N." Erik greeted you as soon as you came to the door. "It's very nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, Erik." You replied with a smile. "And you too, Charles."

The man smiled, giving you room to pass him and enter the house. Wanda was standing in the living room next to Pietro and Monica, who had their suitcases on the floor.

"Papa, which rooms are empty?" She asked the man who had entered behind you.

"You can occupy any one upstairs." Erik warned closing the door as he and Charles entered.

You accompanied the group upstairs. Wanda placed the boys' backpacks in one of the bunk rooms, since the children always slept together.

"You can have the room down the hall." She said, showing you the direction. "Next to mine."

She whispered the last part like a secret. You wanted to ignore how your stomach churned at the suggestion. Pietro and Monica passed you both, the man gave you a playful look, but made no comment. They would be in the room across from yours and next to the children's.

You guessed that the other door at the other end of the hall belonged to Erik and Charles

After putting your suitcase on the bed, you left the room. Pietro opened the door at the same moment.

"Come on, Y/N, I'm going to give you a full tour of the Maximoff residence." He announced excitedly and you giggled, following him around the house.

//-//

The Maximoff residence was much larger than you thought it was. There were even stables and a large wooded area that was part of the place, but Pietro didn't take you there, he just pointed you in the direction. You eventually discovered that the place used to be a simple farm, inherited from Pietro and Wanda's paternal grandparents, and when Erik married Charles, they renovated the place with money from the Xavier family, who were British and had a fortune built up in the vineyard area.

Pietro led you back to the kitchen when he finished showing you the property, patting you on the shoulder as he sat down on the kitchen counter, grabbing the jar of candy on the counter.

"The guests will be here soon, Pietro, get down from there." Warned Erik noticing his son's position. He was in the kitchen too, finishing sorting out some of the appetizers. During the tour, you noticed the decorations set up in the gardens, some tables and chairs and party decorations.

"Yes, papa." Grumbled Pietro as he obeyed. He reached over to accept the tray of food his father handed him.

"Take that outside please." Erik asked and you moved to get out of the way of Pietro, who gave you a wry smile as he passed, making you laugh slightly.

"Can I help too?" You asked noticing that there were still things to be carried.

"Thank you, dear, you are very kind." Erik said as he handed you one of the trays. You nodded and then turned around.

The garden was really nicely decorated, you noticed now that you were up close, placing your tray on one of the tables. There was also a small stage, which you imagined was meant for Erik and Charles to repeat their wedding vows. You smiled, remembering how your marriage to Natasha had gone. It was just nostalgic to think of her now, and it didn't make you unhappy anymore.

"I think you're all set now." Erik said behind you, arriving with a tray and placing it on the table next to yours. Pietro who had left earlier, was stealing one of the candies and received a disapproving look from his father. "Really, boy?"

Pietro laughed, raising his hands in surrender.

"I'm hungry, papa." He playfully retorted and you laughed at the interaction.

"Go help the ladies with the kids." Erik commands with a grimace, and Pietro laughs as he walks away. When he leaves, you feel slightly anxious about being alone with Wanda's father, but his posture is friendly. "I haven't had a chance to talk to you properly, Y/N. Would you like to take a walk with me before the party?"

You ignore the nervous feeling in your stomach when you agree. And Erik takes one last look at the decorations before leading the way.

//-//

A few minutes of walking later, where Erik asked you several questions about your life, your job, your age, who you lived with, that sort of thing, you reached a plantation area. You imagined it to be the vineyards of the property.

You could see the manor house in the distance, and the backyards, and a lake many meters away. The landscape was breathtaking.

"It's beautiful here." You comment beside him.

"Yes." Erik agrees with a smile, also looking at the scenery as you do. "I enjoyed your conversation, you are as lovely as Wanda usually tells us."

The comment makes your cheeks warm, the image of Wanda talking about you makes your heart soar. Erik seems to appreciate the way you react to it, smiling gently as he adds, "It's nice to know she's found someone nice to love."

You swallow dryly, glancing quickly at the man next to you, but he has his gaze on the landscape. You feel a warmth in your chest, mixed with embarrassment and happiness.

"Thank you, Erik." You say clumsily.

"For what?"

"For accepting me here I guess." You retort with a smile. "For having me into your home. And well, for saying those things about me and Wanda." You say and he makes an understanding noise through his mouth. You are silent for a moment, until he speaks again.

"You know, when Magda, their mother, passed away, I thought I would never love anyone again.." Erik tells nostalgically. He keeps looking at the field in front of you, but you stare at him, attentive to his words. "But then I met Charles. And well, it did. It's different from what it was before. And I wouldn't change it for anything."

You nodded in understanding, letting the words echo in your head. You also think about how Agatha said you could move on. There was no problem in loving again, as intensely as before.

"I figured I'd be uncomfortable talking about someone marrying my daughter, but here we are." Erik comments humorously a moment later, making you chuckle awkwardly. "I guess it must be the way you look at her. You look like a lovesick puppy. "

You scratch your neck awkwardly, looking at the scenery, making Erik laugh at your blurriness.

"Don't get upset, I'm just teasing you." He comments with a smile, patting you on the back. You laugh clumsily.

"Do you guys have a garden around here?" You ask trying to change the subject, just as you notice the glass structures in the distance, capped by the vineyard. You figured if you turned around you would find your way to them.

"Oh, yes." Erik confirms. "Charles loves gardening. We have two greenhouses over that way. Would you like to see them?"

"Yes." You confirm with a smile. "But it can be after the party."

"Oh yes, I should get back and welcome the guests." Erik agrees as he checks his watch. You start walking back to the area of the house next.

//-//

You meet a lot of people at the party. It's a little overwhelming, because you really didn't expect Erik to invite so many people, and although you're glad that they had so many friends, your anxiety has increased a little. You were smiling politely at two ladies who said they were Charles' college friends while trying to pay attention to the story they were telling when Pietro rescued you.

"I need to steal my sister-in-law for a second ladies." He said and you widened your eyes. He only realized the mistake of his words when he noticed the looks on the women's faces in front of him. " Shit, I don’t mean like she got married to Wanda... I..."

You snuck out from behind Pietro when the ladies started attacking him with questions about the wedding, and when the ceremony had taken place and why the family wasn't called. You took the opportunity to escape when Pietro was convincing the ladies that you were not Wanda's wife, and that there was no secret wedding.

Walking over to one of the far tables, you frown in disbelief as you watch Luna run under the food table, clearly looking for a place to hide from her cousin, who is looking around a few feet away.

You crouch down, pulling the towel up to speak to the child.

"Luna, honey, maybe that's not the best place to play." You tell her with a smile. She looks around.

"Sorry, Aunt Y/N." She asks. "I'm hiding from Billy."

"Oh, is that so?" You ask extending your hand to her. She accepts, and you help her stand, taking care that she doesn't hit her head on the table. "Do you remember the path we took when we first got here? Try to hide behind that tall statue, I'm sure Billy won't find you."

"Wow, that's right, Auntie. Thank you." She mumbles, leaving with her head down next, watching for any sign of her cousin. You smiled, knowing that everyone at the party would get a glimpse of the children playing if she stood where you spoke.

You noticed that the two women who were talking to Pietro looked at you, and not wanting to be dragged back into that conversation, you made your way back to the house.

Bumping into Wanda on the way, you giggled.

"There you are." You remark.

"Where were you?" Wanda retorts with a mixture of curiosity and humor, noticing your "escape mode" posture.

"Well, apparently all of your father's friends like to meet everyone, so I've spent the last thirty minutes being introduced to everyone at the party."

Wanda gave a pout of pity.

"Sorry, dear." She says and you smile awkwardly, feeling your cheeks flush. "I'm looking for the boys, they need to change for the suits."

"I saw Billy in the gardens." You tell her as you gesture briefly in the direction. "I'll go find Tommy for you."

Wanda smiles, biting her lips. You nod but when you make mention of moving away, she holds your forearm and moves forward, depositing a kiss on your cheek.

"Thank you, sweetheart." She whispered, smiling mischievously at you before she turned away and left the kitchen. You bit your lip, feeling your heart racing. You didn't understand why Wanda was teasing you, but you weren't complaining.

//-//

Non Readers Pov

Wanda laughed affectionately when Billy launched himself onto her lap as soon as she found him in the backyard.

"Luna, dear, your mother is calling you too." Warned the red-haired woman to her niece who nodded turning toward the direction her aunt pointed.

"Mommy can I play after I change my clothes?" Asked the boy as the woman carried him back to the house.

"Of course honey, but you have to be careful, okay? You can't get your suit dirty."

Just before she reached the entrance, someone called her name, causing Wanda to turn her head curiously.

"Sweetie, I need to ask you something." It was Ruth Eisenhardt, a nasty distant cousin of Wanda's known for gossiping, and lots of it, about all her relatives. "I just heard from Aunt Susan that you are dating that pretty girl you brought over."

Wanda felt her face heat up, but kept her expression impassive. Before she could add anything else, the woman was speaking again.

"Of course we are all happy for you, but when I went to share the good news with Uncle Jeff, he said that Pietro had already denied this affair. Now I'm left not knowing if you're really going out with that beefcake."

Wanda let out an awkward giggle, frowning slightly at the way her cousin spoke.

"We're not exactly together, cousin." The redhead replied. "But that's not really your business."

Ruth grimaced in surprise, but then her expression changed to one of malice.

"You know, I'm just confirming it. Because after all, we don't have pretty things like that lying around in New Jersey."

Wanda clenched her jaw. Ruth was exactly the kind of girl who had a mania for taking what didn't belong to her.

"Cousin, don't flirt with her." Wanda said. "I'll only warn you this once."

Ruth giggled, surprised at the reaction. But Wanda didn't continue the subject, turning and continuing toward the entrance of the house.

"Mom what's flirt?" Billy asked next, drawing Wanda's attention away from her own not-so-pleasant thoughts about someone taking what was hers.

"It's a way adults talk, honey." Wanda explained, biting her lips thoughtfully briefly. "When they want to be more than friends."

"Like best friends?"

Wanda laughs briefly, denying it.

"No, Billy. Like lovers."

Billy makes a noise of agreement. "Why can't Aunt Ruth flirt with Aunt Y/N?"

Wanda sighs lightly, forcing a friendly expression so as not to confuse her son.

"She can."

"But you told her..."

"I know." Wanda interrupts with red cheeks. She takes a deep breath, smiling at her son. "Can I ask you something sweetie?" Billy nods in agreement. "If mommy started dating someone, would you be upset?"

Billy frowns, denying it.

"Mommy, you want to date Aunt Y/N don't you?"

Wanda's eyes widen in surprise.

"Where did that one come from?" she asked.

"You didn't like it when Aunt Ruth flirted with Daddy either, I remember Aunt Monica's birthday." He tells, and Wanda sighs slightly, remembering when she caught Ruth complimenting her husband as she ran her hands through her hair, and Wanda might have gotten a little carried away by accidentally flipping a wine glass in her cousin's lap. On the way home, when the twins asked, she said that she was upset with the way Ruth spoke to their father, and now Billy was able to understand everything. "And now you don't want Aunt Ruth to talk to Aunt Y/N like that." He concluded as if it was obvious. Wanda smiled as she went upstairs, careful not to trip on the steps with Billy on her lap. "Mommy, if you date Aunt Y/N will she move in with us?"

"I don't know dear." Wanda replied with a shy smile.

"If she lives with us, will you let her sleep in my room?"

Wanda laughed, looking at Billy curiously.

"And why is that?"

"Because she knows how to play dragon. And also tell fairy tales." He says counting on his fingers. "And she also helps Tommy with his headache, so she can sleep on our rug and when he wakes up at night, she helps him."

Wanda smiles fondly, shaking her head slightly.

"Those are very good reasons indeed." She says. "But I think Y/N would like to sleep in a bed, no? The floor is uncomfortable."

Billy looks thoughtful and Wanda laughs briefly as she sets him down on the floor, already inside his room. She helps him out of his clothes to put on his party suit that is already on the bed.

"I can sleep in your bed mommy, and then Aunt Y/N sleeps in mine next to Tommy so he won't be alone."

Wanda laughs again, denying with her head. She bends down to button her son's shirt.

"Tell you what. Y/N sleeps in my bed, and if Tommy feels bad, she goes up to his room, how's that sound?"

//-//

Reader pov

"I think it sounds amazing." You spoke as you entered the room, a mischievous smile on your lips. Wanda startled slightly, surprised that you arrived at that moment, but she smiled shyly as she looked at you before turning her attention back to her son.

"Yay, mommy!" Billy spoke excitedly. Wanda sat him down on the bed again, helping him put on his shoes. You guided Tommy gently by the shoulders to the bed, and as soon as he had a look at the suit he began to undress.

"I didn't know you were going to live with us, Aunt Y/N." Tommy comments as he removes his sneakers.

"I didn't know either." You retort, biting back a smile at the sight of Wanda's reddening cheeks. "I guess your mother forgot to invite me."

Wanda mumbles at you to shut up, making you smile.

"Mommy, you have to let Aunt Y/N know that she is going to live with us now." Billy said making you cross your arms, and turn to Wanda, joining in on the joke.

"Yes, Wanda! You need to let me know about these things." You say with false seriousness, and Wanda rolls her eyes in amusement, finishing putting on Billy's shoes and getting up to face you.

"Y/n, honey, you're going to move in with me when we get back home, okay?" Wanda asks in the same tone. You bite back a smile, ignoring how your heartbeat has quickened. You can't help but look at Wanda adoringly however, and her expression goes from playful to shy in microseconds.

"Okay, Wands. I'll love living with you." You say to her next, sounding slightly affected. The twins let out an exclamation of excitement, and break the bubble you are in. You clear your throat slightly as you turn your attention back to them, looking away from Wanda.

"Wow, you guys look great." You comment as you see the boys properly dressed next. The suits are very nice indeed.

"You can go back to the party, but be careful not to get your suits dirty. No playing in the dirt!" Wanda warns the boys, who are already running excitedly outside.

"Okay, I'll go get ready too." You say next, thinking to check your cell phone as well, since you haven't turned it on since you left New York. "See you at the party?"

Wanda nods in agreement and you turn to leave.

At the door she stops you, pulling you by the forearm lightly and raising her hand to your neck, then bringing your lips together.

You both sigh and you feel your whole body tense up and heat up all at once. Wanda pulls away in the next moment, breathing as out of rhythm as you do.

You want to ask her why she did this now, but you think the question can wait until later, because she brings your lips together again, in a kiss far less innocent than before. Wanda closes the door with one hand, and with the other she pushes you against the wood.

You gasp, letting your tongue run across her lip, and she gives you passage.

Her taste intoxicates your senses quickly, your hands moving up to her waist as hers move to your hair, deepening the kiss. You both gasp for air against each other's mouths, unable to separate.

Panting, you feel your head spin as Wanda moves her tongue against yours, slow and sensual, and you can't help but squeeze her waist tightly, enjoying the feeling of her sighing against your lips.

You switch positions next moment, pressing Wanda against the wood of the door, your knee coming up between her legs.

"Oh." Wanda moans breathlessly breaking the kiss. You move your kisses down her jaw to her neck, sucking on the skin and releasing just before marking. Your fingers play with the hem of her blouse, and Wanda brings your head up, kissing you again.

You press your body against her, wanting her to be touching you everywhere. The sensation makes you breathless, and hot in all the right places, causing you to moan.

You think you could kiss Wanda forever if she'd let you. The feeling of having her in your mouth is the best you have ever felt.

There are noises of footsteps coming from the stairs, and you both sigh when you hear them. It's Monica coming up with Luna, who is chatting animatedly. It's just what you need to snap back to reality, and slow down the kiss.

You keep your foreheads together, and your hands around Wanda until the sound becomes distant, signaling that Monica has entered their bedroom with Luna.

You let out a giggle, and Wanda follows you. You look just like two teenage girls making out in secret. When you stop laughing, you kiss her again. Calmer this time. Before you let go, she bites your lip, tugging lightly, and making you gasp before letting go.

"Come on, go change." She commands, pushing you lightly. You smile because she keeps her grip against your blouse as she tells you to leave.

"It is you who are keeping me here, Maximoff." You tease with a smile. Wanda smiles too, and steals a kiss from you before letting go. You stumble backwards out of the room, grinning like an idiot, but you don't care, because Wanda looks at you just the same.

//-//

Wanda looked stunning in her party dress. You wanted to kiss her again, but you knew that if you did you would smear her lipstick, and she would have a lot of inconvenient questions ahead of her. So you just smiled, and breathlessly confessed how beautiful she looked, enjoying her flushed cheeks.

By the time you joined the party, the guests were arranging themselves at the correct places, and you joined a conversation circle with Wanda at your side, greeting a few more people.

As the sun set, Erik and Charles signaled that the ceremony was about to begin.

//-//

It was all very beautiful.

Maybe you cried between one confession and another, but everyone was emotional, so no one really cared.

Your cell phone had lots of pictures on it when you came back to the house, after saying goodbye to the guests who left when the party was over. You were holding Tommy by the hand, while Billy went with his mother, and the boys looked very tired.

"Let's go to bed, okay?" Wanda warned the kids as they followed her upstairs.

Erik wanted to open a bottle of wine, so after the kids were in bed, all the adults were outside on the balcony. Wanda sat very close to you, and you resisted the urge to put your arm around her.

"I guess I'll never get used to parties." Erik then comments, smiling nostalgically, making the group smile.

"I hope you're looking forward to the twenty-year anniversary one, papa." Pietro humorously retorts, and Erik laughs, looking at his husband tenderly.

"I look forward to it."

You smiled at the passionate way the couple looked at each other. You wondered what it must be like to stay married for so long.

"I know we are all tired, but I had something to tell you." Erik then says, exchanging a look with Charles before continuing. "It's about the farm."

"What about the farm?" Pietro asked curiously.

"It 's yours."

Pietro frowns in confusion, looking at Wanda, who has the same look on her face.

"Papa, what?" Wanda asks, and Erik lets out a short laugh.

"You know I've always wanted to remodel this place, ever since you were kids." He recounts. "And Charles and I finally did it. But now we're old. And you two have your whole lives ahead of you, and well, you are our family. So Charles and I agreed that the house should belong to you both."

Wanda and Pietro exchange incredulous laughter.

"Papa, what? Are you sure?" Wanda asks looking from her brother to her father and stepfather. The older men just smile and the next moment they are hugging their children. You and Monica exchange looks of amusement.

"So, does this mean we're moving?" Monica comments once everyone is seated, and elicits a giggle from the group.

"Let's save all this serious talk for tomorrow, shall we?" Erik asks with a smile. "Today, let's just enjoy the stars."

"Someone is feeling romantic." Charles jokes making the group laugh.

"Papa, tell us some of your stories." Pietro asked with a smile, and Erik sighed, taking on a thoughtful expression.

"Um, let's see." He begins. "Have I ever told you about what happened in Budapest...?"

//-//

It was quite late when you and Wanda were finally alone, after Charles and Erik came in, you stayed talking to Pietro and Monica for a few more minutes, until they walked in as well.

You smiled at Wanda as she leaned back in her armchair to face you cross-legged, and you mimicked her position.

"Hey." She called out to you with a smile.

"Hey."

"Did you enjoy the party?"

"Yes." You assured her tenderly. "It was pretty good actually."

Wanda nodded slightly, her gaze falling momentarily to your lips.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything you want, Wanda." You retort, making her smile.

The redhead looks intently at you.

"Did you mean it?" She asks and you blink in confusion. "About moving in with me."

You feel your cheeks heat up, but you smile.

"You're not even going to ask me out first, eh?"

Wanda laughed, looking away with flushed cheeks. You swallowed dryly, lifting your hand to turn her face toward you again, stroking her cheek lightly. God, Wanda was beautiful. Her bright green eyes looking back at you, the way her hair fell around her face, every part of her.

"Don't you think we're happening too fast?" Wanda asks insecurely, you don't put your hand down, enjoying the feeling of her skin.

"It depends." You answer letting your gaze wander to her, your free hand searching for hers in your lap, twining your fingers together.

"On what?"

"If you care about me..." You whisper as you bring your faces closer together, stopping when your lips are almost touching, and you and Wanda both close your eyes in anticipation. " As much as I care about you."

You kiss Wanda before she responds. Sweetly and softly. The sensation makes you smile against her lips, and you ignore the urge to deepen the kiss to pull away.

"Is that your way of saying you're in love with me?" Wanda teases half breathlessly a minute later, her tone playful and confident, but her rosy cheeks give away how affected she is. You think she's irresistible.

You laugh lightly, brushing a strand of hair from her face before looking into her eyes.

"I'm in love with you." You confess simply, watching her blink in surprise and amazement. "So, you still think it's too fast?"

Wanda smiles, denying it, and then approaches you.

"I'm in love with you too" She confesses as a secret against your lips. You feel your stomach rumble with nervousness and excitement, but you don't say anything else, because Wanda kisses you again. She asks for passage with her tongue a second later, making you sigh.

You hold your mouths together in a passionate kiss for long minutes, panting against each other' lips as Wanda moves to sit on your lap with her hands on your neck while your hands move up to her waist. You feel hot and bothered, squeezing her skin as if you want to merge with it. It is only when your kisses begin to move down to her collarbone that Wanda gasps saying that you two should go upstairs.

She moves off your lap, breaking the kiss, and you bite your lips, chasing her mouth again. Standing up, Wanda slides her tongue against yours one last time, making your head spin, before she pulls away, smiling at you as she pulls you by the hand into the house.

She signals with her finger for you to be quiet as you enter, and you swallow dryly as you observe the way her eyes are dark.

Getting to your room seems to take forever, especially since you can barely breathe, but finally you arrive.

Wanda locks the door after you enter. And then the atmosphere changes, because you both know what is about to happen.

She smiles shyly at you and you hold out your hand to her, leading her to sit on the bed beside you.

You exchange a glance before you sigh softly, slowly moving closer to her face. When you kiss her, much more tenderly and gently than any other time, Wanda melts.

She raises her hands to your neck, deepening the kiss as she falls onto the bed and takes you with her. You kiss her firmly, swirling your tongue around hers slowly, making her shiver.

There is no rush in what you are about to do, and you certainly want to enjoy every second of it.

You rest your weight against Wanda, enjoying the feeling of having her beneath you, and the sound that escapes her throat. Your mouth separates from hers only for you to move your kisses down her collarbone, causing Wanda to close her eyes and sigh.

Your hands reach behind her back to pull down the zipper of her dress. When your fingers make contact with her exposed skin, Wanda bites her lips, entwining her legs together in search of more friction.

Your kisses move down as you pull the dress off her body, Wanda shifting on the bed to help you undress her. You move away from her neck to remove the piece completely, your gaze falling to her exposed skin the next moment. The redhead blushes at your stare, but all you can do is admire. The sight of her bare breasts makes your core throb, and you feel the urge to touch and kiss every inch.

You kiss her again in the next second, but part your mouths again quickly to move your lips down her body.

At the first touch on her breasts, Wanda gasps loudly. You smile, controlling the urge to tell her not to be so loud, but you are distracted by the growing heat in your core when you suck on her nipple and she whimpers, bringing her hand to your hair to keep you there.

Dividing your attention between the nipples, you kiss, bite, and suck the sensitive skin, keeping enough of it in your mouth for the skin to be marked red, which elicits a hearty moan from Wanda.

As your kisses begin to descend again, Wanda's body tenses. You kiss at the height of her navel before looking up, and already find her looking up at you with darkened eyes, biting her lip.

"Everything okay?" You ask in a sigh, trying to reason properly out of the bubble of lust.

Wanda's hesitation causes you to raise your face back toward her again, keeping your hands by her side so as not to fall against her body.

"What's wrong?" You ask gently, trying to find any sign of discomfort.

"Nothing." She says with a shy smile. "It's just... it's the first time I... since..."

"Yeah, I know." You interrupt half breathlessly, knowing exactly what she is referring to. "Mine too." You confess, but at this point, you knew she should have guessed it too. You have been grieving partners for quite some time, after all. "Do you want to stop?"

"No." Wanda quickly denies, biting back a smile. "I feel good."

You smile, nodding in agreement.

"Me too."

You kiss Wanda gently again, but before the kiss gets more heated, you pull away to whisper against her lips. "Let me know if you feel uncomfortable at any time."

Wanda nods, bringing your lips together next.

//-//

When you awake, it is probably the best sleep you have had in months. Wanda is curled up on you, her clothes spread across the room lit by the sunbeams from the window.

You mumble that you have to get up because the children will be up soon, but Wanda says that her father will take care of them, and kisses you until you completely forget where you are.

When you finally get up, and go downstairs for coffee, neither adult comments at all on the way Wanda's hand remains in yours throughout the meal.

//-//

While Wanda is talking to Pietro and Erik about how they are going to organize the inheritance of the farm, and the children are playing in the backyard in front of the veranda, you decide to call your mother.

You end up learning that she got a buyer for your apartment, but you tell her that you would deal with these matters when you get back. After checking email and that sort of thing, you turn off your cell phone again.

Taking one last look at the children, you walked back into the house, catching a small piece of the conversation of the others in the living room about what would be done about Wanda's flower shop, but you didn't intrude.

"We know a lot of people around here, Wanda." Charles was counting. "I'm sure we'll be able to find a new location for the flower shop."

Wanda looked slightly apprehensive, probably considering all the consequences of the relocation, but she relaxed her posture completely when you entwined your hand with hers.

When the conversation was over, it was decided that the families would move to the farm. Selling the properties in New York would take some time, but they would still move to the city during the vacations. It was going to be a rush, but Erik and Charles were willing to help too.

Since you guys were leaving that afternoon, you went back to your room to pack. And Wanda joined you a moment later, kissing you on the cheek before sitting down on your bed.

" All good?" You asked as you folded your socks.

"Yeah." She confirmed with a smile. "I'm just trying to believe that all this is really happening."

"It's not every day we get a farm, is it?" You joke making her laugh. Wanda bites her lips next, looking at you fondly, and you look away to your bag, feeling your face heat up.

"I forgot to ask you something yesterday." She begins somewhat shyly. You frown slightly, muttering for her to ask. "Are we dating?"

You laugh in surprise, throwing your folded party clothes into your suitcase, before approaching Wanda, raising your hand to her chin.

"What do you think, love?" You ask against her lips, dragging your mouth down her jaw to the height of her ear. "After what you did with your tongue yesterday, you're not going anywhere."

Wanda gasps, clenching her hands in the bed. You smile because you know the memories have hit her all over again. But you turn away next, smiling innocently at the woman in front of you before turning your attention back to the suitcase.

"I don't get a ring?" She teased next, making you laugh briefly. You looked back at the door before advancing against her, kissing her firmly, completely overturning her confident posture. When Wanda sighed against your mouth, you pulled away, and she grumbled, her hand reaching up to grab your belt and pull you back to her, but noises of footsteps made her give up.

Soon the boys came running into the room, talking excitedly about living on the farm and riding every day, and you wanted to laugh at the way Wanda had to disguise how affected she felt by your small make out session to answer her sons' questions.

//-//

After saying goodbye to your hosts with hugs, you sat in the back seat with the boys, because Tommy insisted that he wanted to show you a video game. Wanda drove you to your apartment, and after getting your suitcase from the trunk, you waved goodbye to the boys, and approached the driver's window.

"I'll call you, okay?" You tell her with a smile, Wanda nods, and you kiss her. Tommy and Billy make disgusted noises in the back of the car, and you and Wanda laugh as you part.

Waving to everyone in farewell one last time, you wait for Wanda to leave with the car before you go into the house.

"Kissing girls on the doorstep, heh? Looks like high school all over again." Your mother teases from the kitchen just as you enter. You laugh as you close the door.

"Spying through the kitchen window, Mom? And I thought I was a grown-up." You retort in the same tone as you walk to the kitchen to greet her with a kiss on the forehead, tossing your suitcase on the counter afterwards.

"Are you really dating then?" Your mother asks and you murmur in agreement. She smiles. "I'm so happy, honey. I can't wait to prepare for the wedding."

You roll your eyes humorously, picking up an apple from the countertop.

"We need to talk about your apartment, by the way." She starts again, looking through her briefcase for something. "I've found buyers, and well, I'm already looking at some houses for you, too." She says as you take a seat next to her at the table. "Of course I love having you here, but we both know you can't wait to have a place of your own again."

You sigh lightly.

"Yeah, Mom." You confirm. "About that..."

//-//

"You're late." Agatha remarked as soon as you stumbled into her office. You gave her a lopsided smile, closing the door as you entered.

"Sorry, I had a date and lost track of time."

Agatha raises her eyebrows at you.

"A date, hm? Let's talk about it then."

//-//

You had just deposited Melina's share of the apartment in the bank when your cell phone vibrated.

A message from Bucky, asking if you were coming to therapy with him today, as he was already at the station. You reply with an emoji, and a text saying coming.

//-//

"I am immensely happy for your progress, even though I am upset that you will not be continuing with us." Stephen says to you and Wanda, in your last group session.

"Well, New Jersey has its support groups. But this one is always going to be special." You tell him as you lightly tap his arm. Stephen smiles as he hands you the progress brooches. Wanda has her hand intertwined in yours, and the man in front of you looks at that before commenting.

"You know, I always find it curious the way pairs develop in the group." He comments. "We never ask that the activities be romantic, but still, many of them end up falling in love."

You and Wanda exchange a mixed look of embarrassment and happiness.

"I guess we have you to thank for that." Wanda says next, but Stephen smiles, denying it.

"Not at all. I'm happy for both of you. After all, I always thought you would get along together." He hints last, making you and Wanda laugh softly.

//-//

"I just need to lock up and grab a few last things in the office, and then we can go." Wanda told you when you arrived at the flower shop. The establishment was now empty, as the moving crew had already passed by.

You waited for her in the reception area.

With the key to the flower shop in hand and the last files that were there, Wanda hesitated. You looked at her, standing in the center of the place, eyes watering, and smiled as you approached.

"Everything okay?" You asked as you touched her arms, stroking her to calm her down.

"Yeah." She sighs, looking around one last time before looking back at you. "It just feels like I'm ending something. Like a chapter in my life."

You swallow dryly briefly, nodding.

"Are you scared?"

Wanda smiles.

"Terrified." She confesses. "But I have you, so I know I'll be all right."

You smile, lifting your hands to your neck to kiss her. It's brief and sweet, and it's exactly what you both need to be sure you're doing the right thing.

"You're a flirt, aren't you Maximoff?" You tease with a smile, and Wanda giggles lightly against your lips.

"And you are breathtaking, love."

You felt your face heat up, kissing Wanda again.

"Are you sure about what we're doing, Wanda?" You let the words escape your anxious brain next. Wanda raised her free hand to your face, caressing your cheek.

" Absolute." She assures. "You are my future."

You swallow dryly, affected by the intensity of the confession. A shy smile escapes your lips in the next moment.

"And you are mine."

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wandaxreader #wandaxyou #wanda maximoff x reader #wandaxyn #wanda x yn #marvel imagines #sorry for your loss

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jaceyneedsabetterusername · 4 years ago

Text

Hayloft p.4

Pairing: Arvin Russell x F!Reader

Summary: Your dad brings home his new coworker, Arvin Russell, telling you that he’ll be living with the two of you for a while. While attempting to keep Arvin from seeing the disfunction of your relationship with your father, the two of you grow closer than you thought. (Inspired by “Hayloft” by Mother Mother, though that’ll really only be one chapter later on so I don’t know if it really counts…)

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, death, abuse, and sexual assault (depictions of none, though), alcoholism/ drunkenness, mentions of teen pregnancy, mentions of infidelity, murder

Word Count: 6.4k

A/N: Pretty lightly edited, just a warning

Read the Previous Chapters!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

“Hey, hun, what can I getcha?” You leaned into your popped hip, pen and notepad in hand.

A man you hadn’t met before, clearly someone just passing through town, was sitting across the diner bar in a light blue button-up and suspenders. He was fairly clean cut save for the day-old scruff across his face. He studied the menu intensely before setting it down and looking up at you with a sweet-as-pie smile. “Can I please have coffee with some cream and the grits?” He asked with a southern drawl.

You scribbled down his order on the notepad, “That all?”

“Mhm, I think so. Thanks doll.” He slid the menu towards you before reaching for a newspaper that had been left on the counter beside him by the last patron. You turned around to pin the man’s order on the little turnstile for the chef when the little bell on the door rang.

Tucking your notepad back into the apron tied around your waist, you grabbed the pot of coffee from the counter and poured the man a cup of the rich black liquid. Next, you prepared a little ceramic cup of cream and walked back to set them on the counter in front of him. His polite thanks were only the background when you saw Arvin walk behind the man and shoot you a smile before settling down in a seat at the bar only a few seats away.

You walked over to him and leaned on the counter with a smile, “Well, hey there stranger. You on lunch already?”

Arvin nodded, looking to you hopefully, “Yeah ‘n I was hopin’ you might be too so I could grab a bite to eat with my favorite girl.”

“Shh!” You hushed him with exasperated wide eyes, like it should have been obvious that he needed to keep his voice down, because in your mind it was. You nodded your head to the other patrons in the diner. “Y’know word travels fast in little towns like this ‘n I don’t need my daddy findin’ out ‘bout us,” you whispered to Arvin who sighed in annoyed understanding. You knew he wasn’t annoyed at you but the situation was less than ideal.

He tapped his fingers on the counter and his knees bounced under the bar, “So is that a no for lunch?”

You glanced over your shoulder to look at the clock that hung on the wall. It was only eleven in the morning but maybe you could ask Charlene if she could cover so you could take an early lunch. “Let me double check real quick.” You held up a finger to excuse yourself into the back to find your coworker.

No more than ten minutes later, you and Arvin walked out to his car with two take-out boxes of burgers you had managed to swipe from the kitchen in hand. He slid into the driver’s seat while you planted yourself beside him in the passenger’s. You handed him one of the boxes of food before opening your own and

digging into the small handful of fries. “So how is your day going so far?”

Arvin took a large bite of his burger, covering his mouth with his hand has he tried to speak and chew at the same time, “Ain’t too bad. I got an engine to rebuild for an old Ford when I get back but nothin’ too terrible. How ‘bout you?”

“Ready to go home already,” you chuckled, popping a fry in your mouth, “But it ain’t too bad here either. Just would like to not be here.”

Arvin laughed a little beside you, “I know how that feels. Thanks for the burgers by the way. I appreciate it. I don’t want you gettin’ in no trouble for stealin’ food.”

You shrugged off his concern, “Don’t worry ‘bout it. If people don’t eat it, it just goes in the trash anyways. I ain’t gonna get in any trouble.”

He let out a heavy breath, resigning to your insistence, which he really just found an adorable confident stubbornness. A comfortable silence fell over the unmoving car as the two of you ate your lunches in the parking lot. When you finished chewing your bite, you looked over at Arvin, “How long you been livin’ with us?”

Arvin looked up at the brick wall straight ahead in thought, “Maybe five months now. Longer than I meant to-"

"I didn't mean it like that! I was just wonderin'...." you got awkwardly quiet for a moment, "Havin' you 'round has been the best five months in a really really long time."

"For me too. When I came into town, I thought I'd be livin' in my car. Didn't know how lucky I'd be gettin' to live with the most beautiful girl in the world." His hand reached over to your thigh, squeezing lightly.

Even after all of his sweet affections and compliments, they never failed to make your cheeks ache from trying not to blush and smile like a schoolgirl. “You really think flattery will get you somewhere?” you giggled teasingly, turning towards him and nudging his leg with your hand.

“Well it got me in your house so…” He teased back, something that he had been doing more often in the last few weeks. Arvin had never been the most humorous of people, aside from the occasional chuckle or hidden smile. That had been changing since the two of you had gotten closer though.

“Uh, no! It might get you kicked outta my house though if my daddy ever finds out.” It started as chuckle but the words faded into concerned worry as you realized how true they could really be.

Arvin sensed the shift, “You really think your daddy would kick me out if he found out ‘bout us?”

You nodded, “Without a doubt. Would probably throw me out too.” You shifted so you were sitting on your bent leg, suddenly uncomfortable.

He began cautiously, “I mean… would that really be such a bad thing?”

You whipped your head to look at him, “I ain’t got nowhere else to live right now. I been savin’ up for a year to move out but it ain’t enough to buy a place of my own yet.”

“How much you got?”

That number was in your head immediately, one that you kept a running total of with every paycheck. “$4,317.” It wasn’t enough, though, and you knew it. Even the old run down houses around town cost $12,000, which meant you weren’t even halfway to the fixer-uppers, not that you minded buying a fixer upper. “I don’t need a mansion or nothin’ but it ain’t nearly enough for even something small.”

Arvin chewed his lip, thinking about the box of cash he’d been stashing away with each of his paychecks as well. He knew exactly what it was like in your position, struggling to save up the money to get on your own feet. He hated relying on others and, even though he really liked you, he hated depending on your and your father for shelter. “You ain’t gonna be stuck in this ol’ town forever,” he promised you and it came out just like that. A promise. “You’re too good for this place.”

Another smile forced its way onto your face at his words of hope, “I’ll get outta here eventually…”

Suddenly, a familiar male voice yelled your name and you flinched. You turned towards the voice to see your boss, Harold, standing at the backdoor of the diner with his hands on his hips. He gave you a stern look and tapped the watch on his wrist before pointing at you then jabbing his thumb over his shoulder towards the door.

“Shit! I totally lost track of time!” You scrambled to gather up the trash from lunch and stuffed it into the paper bag you’d brought it out in. “I’m sorry, I have to run!”

Arvin had nearly jumped out of his skin when your name had been yelled, the only person he’d ever heard calling you that way being your father. He crumbled up the paper wrapper for his burger and stuffed it in the paper bag for you. “‘M sorry. Didn’t mean to get you in trouble with your boss.”

“Nah, he’s fine,” you waved off the worry dismissively, “He acts all tough but he ain’t nothin’ but a softy.” You opened up the door and began to slide out when you stopped and took a quick glance around. Nobody was in the parking lot, or really anywhere in sight for that matter. In an impulsive swift action, you grabbed Arvin by the collar of his greasy shirt and pulled his lips to yours quickly before pushing him before anyone could see.

He looked stunned, big brown eyes wide and shocked by your courageous kiss. Your heart raced and your cheeks flushed with the exhilaration of actually sneaking a kiss to Arvin in public. It was a dangerous move but your dad was at work and there was nobody else around to see. You tried to hide your excited smile by chewing your bottom lip but it didn’t work. “Thanks for lunch, Arv.”

“Uh - y-yeah. Thank you for the burger.” Arvin stumbled over his words while you slid out of the car and closed the door behind you, leaving the poor boy struggling to make his brain catch up to reality.

“See you at home!” You waved one last time before turning. Arvin watched as you jogged back to the entrance of the diner, your little dress bouncing with every movement. You turned to give him one last glance before you disappeared behind the door.

Work had passed rather uneventfully for you. You put in the last few hours of your shift, went to the grocery store, and then headed home to start on dinner.

Arvin, on the other hand, the rest of his day at work had shaken the good feeling he’d had since his lunch break with you. He had found himself with a wrench in hand, trying to bolt back in the engine he’d been rebuilding for the last few hours. Grease smeared across his shirt, pants, and face despite how hard he tried to keep his dirty hands from ruining his clothes. Even if they were work clothes, he didn’t have that many sets of outfits nor the money to go out and buy more.

“My cousin lives o’er there with his wife. Said the sheriff up and disappeared for a while but they found him dead in the woods.”

Arvin’s head nearly hit the hood of the car that was propped up when he heard those words. He looked over his shoulder to see Davis and Fred, two of the other guys that worked at the mechanics shop, talking over two cans of beer.

“You hear anythin’ ‘bout that, Arvin?” Davis asked, sipping his can.

Arvin’s heart twisted in panic but he shook his head like hadn’t heard what they were talking about, “Hear ‘bout what?”

“Few months back, the sheriff in my cousin’s hometown turned up dead. Someone shot ‘im in the woods outside o’ some small town nearby. His name was like Lodeck or Bodecker or somethin’ like that.” Davis explained the story to both of the guys.

“Eh, pro’lly had it comin’,” Your dad came entered from the storage room with a handful of bolts, “I know I’ve met some sheriffs that deserved a bullet between the eyes.”

Fred rolled his eyes, “Yeah well you’re an angry drunk so I’m sure you’d say that ‘bout anyone who took a drink from you. I’m sure this guy wasn’t that bad. What kinda sick fuck you gotta be to shoot a sheriff? This ain’t no wild west movie where you go gunnin’ down the law.”

“Nah, I heard he was a no good son o’ a bitch. Guess his sister and her husband got murdered the day before. Found tons of pictures o’ them kissin’ on some dead guys. Some real sick shit, Fred. Sheriff might have been in on it too. Regardless, my cousin said he ran into ‘im one time with his wife and the sheriff really was a bastard,'' Davis shrugged off Fred’s comment, refuting the tragedy Fred was trying to make Bodecker’s death by tarnishing his name.

Arvin’s heart was racing and he began to feel dizzy. The images of those few days had haunted him since they had happened but he had found himself thinking about it less and less as the days passed.

“Arvin?”

Arvin shook his head out of the clouds and snapped back into reality, “What?”

“You came into town ‘round the same time all this happened. Did you hear anythin’ about it?” Fred questioned, wiping his greasy hands on his jeans.

The young man just shook his head, “Nah, I ain’t heard nothin’ ‘bout it till now. I heard ‘bout the sister though. Sounds like she and her boyfriend were no good.”

“You know what I think?” Your dad began, picking up a wrench and pointing it in Arvin’s direction, “I think our man Arvin here did the sheriff in!”

Arvin stiffened up, “What? Why would you think that?”

“You come strollin’ along through town with nothin’ but a backpack and no backstory ‘bout the same time four people turn up murdered. Mighty suspicious.” Arvin tried his hardest to stand tall and not allow his fear to show but the tension in his jaw was bordering of painful now.

Davis swatted at your dad, “C’mon, leave the boy alone. There’s gotta be thousands of people in that area that coulda murdered them. Can’t imagine Arvin doin’ such a thing.”

Arvin was grateful for Davis’s trust. If only he deserved it.

“I’m only jokin’! Y’all a bunch of whiny little girls, can’t take a fuckin’ joke.” Your dad grumbled to himself, swatting his hand towards his coworkers.

“Ah, shut up.” Fred stood up from the table he’d been sitting at and laid back down on the dolley before sliding under the jacked up Chevy he had been tasked with. “Ain’t nobody ‘round here takes you seriously.”

Arvin watched as your dad walked past Fred, kicking him in the leg and earning a loud exclamation of annoyance, but it was as if he were disconnected from the whole scene. He had tried so hard to forget what had happened back in Knockemstiff and Coal Creek, though it seemed damn near impossible considering it had uprooted his entire life. This tiny town a few hours away was his safe haven, his new beginning. He never would have imagined that anyone this far away would have heard about the murders.

Hearing Davis and Fred bring up Bodecker’s name made Arvin’s blood turn to ice in his veins. What kinda sick fuck you gotta be to shoot a sheriff? Fred’s words played over and over in Arvin’s head. This was just what he was worried about. This was why he ran. Nobody would believe Bodecker was trying to kill him first. Self defense didn’t mean shit when it was against the law. The same with Reverend Teagarden. A man of the word? Arvin didn’t stand a chance if anyone found out what he’d done.

“Hey son,” Davis’s soft voice made Arvin nearly jump out of his skin, “Don’t take nothin’ that ol’ man says to heart. I’m sure you know since you been livin’ with him that he’s just a cranky ol’ drunk who don’t know when to shut up. You’re a good kid, Arvin. Ain’t none of us actually think you did it.”

Arvin looked down at where Davis’s hand rested on his shoulder, the same way his dad used to touch his shoulder when he was reassuring him. He forced a small appreciative nod and a strained appearance of being unbothered, “It’s alright, Davis. I know he’s just kiddin’ ‘round. I ‘ppreciate it though.”

Your father arrived at home before Arvin, much to your dismay. Elvis Presley’s Blue Hawaii album was spinning on the record player when he came into the kitchen, kicking his boots off by the door.

“Hey, daddy! How was work?” You asked, mashing a bowl of potatoes for dinner.

He made a line directly to the fridge, grabbing a beer and popping the tab off with no effort, “It was alright. Damn Gilligan blew out the transmission on his truck so I been stuck fixin’ that up all day. Lookin’ forward to this right here.” Your father lifted up the beer bottle and sipped it with satisfaction. Yeah, I’m sure you were, you thought, rolling your eyes with your back turned to your dad.

“Well, if you wanna get cleaned up, dinner should be ready in about twenty minutes. More than enough time for a shower,” you offered with a cheerful voice. Lunch with Arvin today had made your day good in a way that was hard to ruin.

“Yeah, I might go do that. What’s for dinner?” Your father walked over and peeked over your shoulder to see what you had cooking on the stove.

“Mashed potatoes, green beans, and chicken.” You cut in a few slices of butter and added them to the bowl of mashed potatoes, sprinkling some salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste.

Expecting some words of discouragement like you usually earned from your father, he just nodded contently and disappeared out of the kitchen towards the bathroom. You turned to watch him walk away, your mouth fallen open in pleased surprise at the fact that you just had a semi-pleasant interaction with your father for the first time in several weeks. You turned back to mixing in the now melted butter into the mashed potatoes when the front door opened yet again.

You looked back to see Arvin walking in through the living room, “Hey, Arv!”

His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and judging by the way his eyes shot up to you, as if he hadn’t expected your greeting, he had been staring at the ground when he walked in. “Hi,” he answered low and short with no emotion one way or the other.

Your brows furrowed, “Everythin’ alright?” Leaving the food on the counter and wiping your hands on your apron, you walked out into the living room towards him.

Arvin visibly took a step back and his eyes widened a little, his shoulders squaring up, “Yeah, ‘m good. Just wanna take a shower.”

Before you could get the words out, he had already begun walking away. “My dad’s already in the bathroom,” you called out after him, finally getting him to stop.

Arvin didn’t turn back to you though, only half glanced over his shoulder, “Oh, alright.” He turned back to continue his walk back to his room.

“Dinner will be ready soon!” You attempted to add, only earning a small thanks in response and the sound of Arvin’s door closing. “O-oh… okay.” You stood alone in the living room, the sound of running water coming from the bathroom and Elvis Presley’s voice filling the room but not loud enough to drown out your concern.

Dinner went by just as uncomfortably. You poked at your mashed potatoes, keeping your gaze stuck down at the food on your plate except for when you glanced over at Arvin who seemed to be actively looking anywhere except for you. This only made you roll your eyes out of frustration and stare back down at your food.

Your dad talked about his day, mostly grumbled complaints, “I don’t get nearly ‘nough respect ‘round here. Damn Fred and Davis callin’ me a drunk. What? A man can’t enjoy a damn beer without being called a drunk! Damn prudes.” When you didn’t respond, he reached over and tapped your arm, “Hey? You even listenin’?”

“Hm?” You tried to make yourself focus on what he was saying this time, “Sorry, long day. What happened?”

“See? I ain’t get no respect at work and I can’t even get no respect at my own damn house from my own damn daughter!” He grumbled, the feet of the wooden chair scraping against the ground as he stood up forcefully, swaying a little side to side but bracing himself on the wall to walk out of the room.

You didn’t even possess the mental capacity to care about his little tantrum. Your mind was swimming with confusion and, honestly, anger, at Arvin’s little unexplained silent treatment. “Okay, what’s wrong?” You asked, leaning towards Arvin.

“Nothin’.” He answered simply, taking a sip of his water. His voice was low and he still refused to make eye contact, despite nothin’ being wrong.

“That’s a lie. Everythin’ was fine this mornin’ and now you’re suddenly not talkin’ to me. Won’t even look at me! What the hell, Arvin? Did I say somethin’ wrong?” Thinking back, there wasn’t anything you had said earlier that you could imagine warranting such a negative response from Arvin so your confusion and concern had quickly turned to frustration.

Arvin shook his head, “No, no, you ain’t did nothin’ wrong.”

“Then what is it?” You practically begged him to tell you. You hated being upset at him when clearly something was bothering him but this felt like he was just playing some broody guessing game with you, something you got enough of from your dad.

Stress shone through Arvin’s eyes and he met your gaze finally, if only for a second, before looking away again. You could see there was a flicker of something you hadn’t seen in him before but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Whatever it was, it was really bothering him and you felt guilty for being upset. You just couldn’t understand why you suddenly were being ignored for something that apparently had nothing to do with you.

“I can’t tell you.”

Arvin’s admittal just made you more upset. “So you’re not mad at me but you’re ignoring me and can’t tell me why?”

Arvin hadn’t seen you look at him this way. At your father, yes, but he was unaccustomed to that raised eyebrow and frustratedly desperate crack in your voice being directed towards him. He hated it. He hated knowing that he was causing you to feel upset and helpless when he was supposed to be your escape from those exact feelings.

But he couldn’t bring himself to tell you the truth. You’d think he was a monster. You’d hate him. He’d lose the one good thing he had in his life because-

Arvin shook his head, “‘M sorry.” He looked anywhere but at you because he couldn’t stand to see the way your face fell, though he could practically feel your heart fall from across the table. He didn’t need to see it. He knew.

“Fine.” You stood up and grabbed your plate, scraping the rest in the garbage and setting the plate in the sink. Your appetite was gone and your patience had snapped, not that you had been the most patient thus far anyways.

Arvin watched as you stormed out of the kitchen, grabbed your coat off the coat rack by the front door, and walked out of the house. His head hit his hands. No matter how hard he tried to protect those he cared about, he only seemed to hurt them more.

You hadn’t expected Arvin to find you here so when the door opened to the old barn, you turned around in surprise. You were curled up in your coat, sitting on an old wooden crate that had been untouched in this unused barn for God knows how long. A large window looked out over the large field that had once been the family farm but was now practically a glorified dirt lot. Your coat was wrapped tightly around your body, held in place with one hand while you held a lit cigarette with the other.

“Didn’t know you smoked,” Arvin took a few steps in, his hands shoved guiltily in the pocket of his denim jacket.

You blew out a large plume of smoke that you had been holding in and looked away, “I don’t too often.”

Arvin closed the barn door behind him as he approached you and you had to fight the urge to get up and leave but you knew that made you no less immature than the way you felt he was acting.

“‘M sorry. I really am.”

You took another drag and turned to him, the moonlight illuminating his features - somehow so boy-like but so rugged - and it was hard to stay mad at him. “I am too. I don’t mean to be dramatic but I just… I don’t understand, Arv. If somethin’s wrong, you can tell me. This whole silent treatment BS with zero explanation doesn’t cut it.”

Arvin let out a heavy breath. While doing the dishes from dinner for you after you stormed off, he had had time to contemplate what to do. And he had decided. “If I tell you, it’s gonna change how you look at me.”

Your head tilted up at his cryptic opener but you said nothing, only urged him to continue with your eyes.

With a deep shaky inhale, he started his story, “I ain’t a bad man but I’ve done some bad things. Things that I thought I could run away from. I been livin’ a lie for a long time, actin’ like I ain’t hurt nobody, but it ain’t true.” Arvin paused for a moment to gauge your reaction and all he saw was fear in your eyes, just as he had feared.

A million thoughts of terrible things people were capable of ran through your head as you tried to figure out which one Arvin could possibly be guilty of, though they all felt so out of character for him. Was it murder? Assault? Rape? Thievery? The man you had come to care for so deeply now swam in a murky pool of doubt and distrust. Arvin saw all this and more in your deep, worried eyes.

“What did you do?” Your voice was weaker than you wanted it to be, cracking with fear. Until today, you hadn’t imagined Arvin capable of doing anything that could real harm to anyone, maybe aside from a stupid fight in high school or something along those lines, but you could see it in his eyes that whatever it was he was trying to confess to really was that bad.

Arvin lost his ability to speak for a moment. He had resolved to tell you everything before even coming out here to talk to you but the fear shining in your eyes already had his heart breaking. It was as if every new line of moonlight reflecting off the growing whites of your eyes was a new stain that he managed to tarnish your view of him with. Arvin had to look away because he couldn’t bear to look at you when he finally admitted his crimes, couldn’t stand to watch your face contort in fear when you realized what a monster he was.

“Y-you remember that preacher I told you ‘bout? The one that hurt my sister?”

You nodded, “Y-yeah…”

Arvin swallowed hard and he gripped his thigh tight enough to turn his knuckles white. “Well few weeks after we buried Lenora, a police officer came up ‘n told me the coroner had found out she was havin’ a baby. None of us knew before. I don’t know how but I just knew it was that no good preacher. I didn’t have any proof though so I started followin’ ‘im ‘n found out he was worse than I thought. He was no good to his wife ‘n I saw him out takin' advantage of another girl in town who was even younger than my Lenora was. He was doin’ nothin’ but hurtin’ people ‘n I… I killed im.”

Your mouth fell open, “You- You killed him?”

Arvin looked down at his feet, “I shot him.”

It was silent as you processed the information. This preacher sounded like a terrible man, abusing young girls and leading one to commit suicide. The infidelity to his wife was a moot point against his other indiscretions and even that was unacceptable. It honestly sounded like Arvin had done a service to the world, taking this monster out of it, but it was still difficult to look at him the same after knowing that he had actually shot someone.

When you didn’t respond, Arvin had decided to continue, not thinking he could cause much more damage, “I ran. Left a note for my grandma and uncle and disappeared. I tried hitchhiking my way out of town when I got picked by this couple. They seemed nice ‘nough at first but the husband, he started actin’ real weird. They pulled us way off the road. Said he wanted to take some pictures but then I saw him pull out a gun and then he tried pullin’ me outta the car. I-I panicked and I kicked the door into him ‘n I shot ‘im before he could get me.”

Arvin’s voice was cracking as tears began to fall down his face. It was one thing to replay the memories in his own head but it was another thing entirely to actually confess his sins to someone he cared so deeply about, knowing the truth would most likely hurt you. “The wife, she pulled out a gun and pointed it at me ‘n I pointed mine at her. I begged her to put the gun down. I-I didn’t wanna shoot her. I really didn’t. I was so tired of killin’ but then she apologized ‘n I knew she was gonna pull the trigger. We both shot at the same time. I got no clue how she didn’t shoot me. I fell out the car without a scratch but I when I got up, I realized I got her through the neck 'n she was gone. I panicked ‘n searched the car. Found all these pictures of her all naked and huggin’ up on some naked dead guy ‘n I knew… I knew I was gonna be next.”

Your brain sprinted a mile a minute to try and keep up with the trauma Arvin was confessing and you didn’t know whether to hug him and let him cry on you or run as far away as possible.

“Then-”

“There’s more?” You wanted to beg him to stop talking, to stop telling you about the blood on his hands, to stop telling you about all the suffering he had been through. You sounded shocked and heartbroken and yet none of these tragedies were yours.

Arvin hiccuped and sniffled in a failed attempt to hide a sob. Red had taken over his features, both physically and metaphorically. Obviously distraught by his past and now your reaction, he felt like he was beginning to spiral down that hole of darkness that he had tried so hard to claw his way out of. There were nothing but snakes down there, ready to bite him and poison his mind with the words he had fought so desperately to keep out. Murderer. Stalker. Liar. Sinner. All of these and so many more.

Yet, he nodded, feeling as if he’d still be lying if he didn’t finish telling you everything. When he nodded, you made a small squeak of disbelief.

“I-I ran,” He sniffled out, “I hitchhiked my way back to my old hometown. I didn’t know why at first but I just needed to go home. Felt like maybe I could fix what had been broken there. Went there to find it all burnt down but then this sheriff came lookin’ after me. Turns out he was that lady’s brother - the one who shot at me and had the pictures of the cut up dead guys. He was all angry and wanted to kill me for shootin’ his sister. I tried… I tried to tell ‘im that she was no good and that she was gonna kill me but he didn’t wanna listen. He was shootin’ at me and… and… I ain’t had no choice.”

It was silent, aside from the ambient bugs chirping outside. You had tried so hard to focus on Arvin’s face but you had long since zoned out visually, only able to focus on the words he was saying. How could he have gone through all of this? How could your wonderful, amazing, beautiful Arvin Russell have survived so much suffering and been forced to murder people? Murder.

“Please say somethin’.”

Your lips quivered as your vision came back into view and all you saw was a tearful, fearful, remorseful boy before you on the brink of falling apart. Arvin’s hair was messy from having run his hands through it, his eyes were red and puffy from the tears, his breathing was shaky from remembering. There were no words.

You threw your arms around his neck and held him tightly to you. You didn’t know what else to do. How does someone respond to information like this? There was so much trust that Arvin needed to put in you to tell you - you couldn’t freak out.

“You don’t hate me?” His hands flew to your arms, prying them off his neck so he could see your face.

Your head shook, “How could I hate you for what you did?”

“I murdered four people.”

“You took out a disgusting predator who practically killed your sister and was harming who knows how many other girls. Then you killed a couple of murderers who pulled guns on you first in self defense. And then, yet again, you were put in a life or death situation with a sheriff who was shootin’ at you for killin’ his murderin’ sister. Three of those were self defense and I’d dare say that first one was a public service. You have nothin’ to be sorry for. You have nothin’ to regret. You did what you had to do to survive.” You squeezed Arvin’s hands tightly, running your soft thumbs over the lightly calloused skin of his knuckles.

Arvin looked down at your hands on his, hands that were so much smaller than his own but right now felt so encompassing and comforting, as if they wrapped his own in a blanket of protection. He couldn’t believe you were okay with this. He was barely okay with it. “I don’t regret it but I didn’t wanna have to do it. If I coulda let that lady go, if she only woulda listened to me ‘n put the gun down I wouldn’t o’ had to pull the trigger. I coulda let the cops deal with it. Same with the sheriff. If only he woulda listened… I only wanted to shoot the preacher. I was okay with havin’ that on my conscience. But I had no idea how outta control that day was gonna get. All those cold dead eyes starin’ up at you, watchin’ the life drain from someone’s face ‘n knowin’ you’re the one who caused that... Even if they were real fucked up people, it ain’t a sight that’s easy to see.”

“I can’t even imagine what it must’ve been like, Arvin.” Your hand slid up his arm to rest on his bicep and you leaned your forehead onto his shoulder. His arm snaked around your body and held you close but cautious, like he was scared if he held you too tightly that you’d be scared he’d hurt you too. Of course, you weren’t. The thought did cross your mind that perhaps it was unwise to trust a man who just admitted to killing four people but that wasn’t Arvin and you knew it. “You may have killed people but that does not make you a killer. You’re just someone who was put in some really hard situations and had to make some tough choices.”

You pulled back and put your hand on his cheek, slightly scratchy from not shaving that day, and you spoke gently, “You are wonderful, Arvin. You are caring and hard working and loyal and willing to stand up for what is right. You are everything good in this world-”

“I hurt people-”

“You protect people,” you corrected, “‘N if some bad people had to get hurt to keep the good ones safe, well maybe they shouldn’t have been such bad people.”

Arvin could have melted into a puddle at your feet, and likely would have if you hadn’t been holding him. Never had he expected to tell anyone his terrible deeds and in every imagined scenario in which he did, it had never ended well. He had imagined you running for the hills, screaming at him to get out, maybe even threatening him physically out of fear that he’d hurt you now (which he’d never dream of doing).

But you didn’t do any of that. Gentleness and understanding were far from the reaction he’d expected or even felt like he deserved but nevertheless here you were holding him and reassuring him that he wasn’t the monster he’d called himself for so many months.

“I love you.”

His admission surprised you but Arvin felt fully confident in his words. He had never known what love felt like - romantic love at least - but this was damn near the closest thing he could imagine to it. You occupied his thoughts every waking moment, your face and your voice swimming around his imagination in a beautiful ocean of warmth and kindness and goodness that he would gladly drown in. You were strong and responsible and understanding and oh so beautiful. Much like him, you’d been handed a shit hand by life and struggled each day to make the best of it. Arvin cared about you so much it scared him because he had not felt this compulsion towards anyone since Lenora had passed. After losing everything he’d ever loved, he was scared that if he admitted that he loved you, life would take you away from him as well. If there was one thing that you did, though, it was take away Arvin’s fear.

“I love you too, Arvin.” He pulled your body flush against his when you responded, a heavy sigh of relief leaving his chest. Much like Arvin, you hadn’t known what real love felt like. You’d even started believing that maybe you weren’t meant for such a luxury.

Now you and Arvin felt like the richest people in the world, despite having almost nothing to your names. As long as you were in each others’ arms, you had everything. You were each others’ trust, honesty, comfort, compassion, and protection.

_______

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