#one day I will gather the courage to finish this and do a background

[belanche]

When I learn how to draw backgrounds, it's over for all of you.

Did a study of Leyendeckers art with Kurou and my oc for Kurou Connect

The lovely Kurou belongs to @nyewclear

[pomegranatelifethis]

Why doesn't anyone see me?

Warnings before you start There are disturbing elements, self-harm, eating disorders, and implicit mentions of harassment.

The grand hallways of Wayne Manor looked magnificent from the outside, but to you, they were nothing more than cold stone. You were sixteen, and in this house, in this family, you had always been just a shadow. The man you called your father — Bruce Wayne — had left you to drown in his darkness. The marks on your body, on your arms, back, legs... each was a silent scream. Each one reminded you how a world you once trusted had torn you apart. And the worst part? The one who did this wasn’t a stranger. It was someone who had existed in the background of your life, like a ghost.

You tried to speak up once. That night, you opened the door to his study. Bruce sat at his desk, surrounded by files and glowing monitors. His Batman suit hung in the corner — as if that costume was his real face.

“Dad,” you said, your voice trembling. “I need to talk.”

He looked up, his blue eyes tired, distant. “What is it?” he asked, but there was no real curiosity in his tone.

You took a deep breath, trying to ease the tightness in your chest. “I... Something happened. A while ago. And it still…” The words got stuck in your throat. You didn’t want to show him the scars — but maybe, just maybe, he would understand. Maybe he’d see you.

But Bruce lowered his head back to his files. “Now’s not the time,” he said, voice flat. “A lot’s going on in the city. We’ll talk later.”

Later. Always later.

You closed the door behind you, and tears began to slide down your cheeks. Batman could save Gotham — but he didn’t even try to save you.

The next day, you turned to Jason. The rebel of the family, a soul forged in his own pain. Maybe he’d understand.

You found him in the garage, working on his motorcycle.

“Jason,” you said, stepping closer. “I need to ask you something.”

He looked at you, wiping his hands with a grease-stained rag. “What do you want, princess?” he said with a mocking lilt.

You swallowed hard, gathering your courage. “Something happened to me. Something bad. And no one’s listening. I have scars—here,” you said, pulling up your sleeve slightly to show a faded mark.

Jason fell silent for a moment — then laughed.

“Everyone’s got issues, little lady. Go outside, see what I’ve seen. Then come back and cry.”

His words hit like a blade.

“But this is serious!” you cried, your voice cracking.

“Serious?” he snapped, standing and getting close. “You mean your little princess trauma? Grow up.”

Under his sneer, you felt yourself shrink. He didn’t see you either. He left you, too.

You decided to try Damian. Despite his young age, he had a sharp mind. Maybe he had noticed something.

You found him in the training room, practicing with a sword.

“Damian,” you said from the doorway. “Do you have a minute?”

He turned to you, green eyes cold and calculating.

“What do you want?” he asked, stabbing the blade into the floor.

“I… Something happened to me. And it’s hard to carry,” you said, choosing your words carefully.

He frowned, then smirked. “You’re weak,” he said, flatly.

“What?” was all you could manage.

“If you can’t carry it, then you don’t belong in this family. I know pain — but all you do is complain.”

His words were poison. His scorn felt worse than Jason’s mockery. Because Damian saw you as a burden. And in that moment, you felt the final thread tying you to this family snap.

You found Tim in the library, headphones in, eyes on his laptop.

“Tim,” you said, sitting beside him.

He pulled out one earbud. “Yeah?” he replied, eyes still on the screen.

“I need to ask you something. It’s important.”

“One sec, let me finish this line of code,” he mumbled.

Minutes passed. You sat there, waiting.

Eventually, he said, “Just tell me later,” and put his headphones back in.

He hadn’t even heard you.

Dick seemed different — or so you thought.

You found him in the lounge, laughing, mid-conversation.

“Dick, can we talk?” you asked, voice faint.

He turned to you with his bright smile. “Of course, little one! What’s up?”

But before you could say more than “I…” his phone rang.

“Hold that thought — I gotta take this,” he said, walking away.

He never came back.

That night, in your room, you stood before the mirror. You looked at the scars — each one a story no one wanted to hear. Tears wouldn’t stop. This house, this family, was a prison. Bruce didn’t see you. Jason mocked you. Damian belittled you. Tim and Dick didn’t even notice you were there. You might have been Batman’s daughter, but in this place, you were nothing.

You walked to the window and looked out at the lights of Gotham. Maybe it was time to leave. Maybe you couldn’t escape your family, but you could escape this silence. You packed a small bag — a hoodie, some money, a long-sleeve shirt to cover the marks. At the door, you paused. Maybe someone would notice. Maybe someone would stop you.

But the hallway was quiet. No one came.

As you stepped into the street, the cold air slapped your face. Were you free? Or just stepping into a different kind of shadow? You didn’t know. But at least now… now, you were trying to find your own voice.

Gotham’s streets swallowed you whole. You had escaped Wayne Manor, but the darkness inside you came along for the ride. What you thought was freedom was just another kind of prison — this time, one built within your own mind. With your bag slung over your shoulder, you walked under the flickering streetlights. The cold concrete beneath your feet was a warning: No one here is coming to save you. But you weren’t expecting to be saved anyway. Your family had never seen you; maybe you really were invisible.

Days passed. You holed up in a cheap motel, using the credit card your father once gave you. You knew the money would run out — but you didn’t care. Under the dim lights of the room, you stared into the mirror. The scars were still there — on your arms, your back, your legs. Each one whispered that you were something filthy, something ruined. You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palms.

“Why me?” you murmured.

No answer.

The reflection staring back filled you with disgust. This body, these scars… it was all your fault, wasn’t it? If you had been stronger, if you had spoken louder, maybe your family would have heard you. But you hadn’t. You were weak. Damian was right.

---________________________________________---

Days blurred into weeks. Gotham’s gray sky felt like a mirror to your soul. In the motel’s small bathroom, you sat with a cheap razor in your hand. You stared at your scars… and added new ones. Thin lines of blood appeared — but they didn’t bring relief. Pain couldn’t fill the emptiness. Every cut echoed the rejection you’d endured. Bruce’s cold “Not now.” Jason’s mocking laugh. Damian’s “You’re weak.” Tim and Dick’s silence. It all etched itself into your skin.

Every time you looked in the mirror, the hate grew.

“This is my fault,” you whispered.

Your eyes were swollen. Hair tangled. You’d stopped eating — your stomach turned at the thought of food. Sleep brought nightmares. Again and again, you relived the trauma — shadows, hands, the silence of your unheard screams.

When you woke, clutching your pillow, all you felt was emptiness.

Your family hadn’t called. Maybe they didn’t notice. Maybe they didn’t care.

Batman saved Gotham.

But not his own daughter.

Depression wrapped itself around you like a blanket — cold and heavy. Hurting yourself became a routine. Your arms were covered in cuts, but even that wasn’t enough.

“I’m worthless,” you said one night, your voice breaking.

“No one wants me. Not even me.”

You punched the mirror. Glass cracked. Your knuckles bled.

Still, you felt nothing.

Then, one day, everything stopped.

You lay on the stained motel bed, razor in hand again. Sirens wailed outside, but your world was quiet. You looked at your scars one last time.

“It’s over,” you said.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Tears slid down your cheeks as you thought of your family — Bruce buried in files, Jason fixing his bike, Damian swinging a sword, Tim staring into his screen, Dick laughing…

None of them had seen you.

None of them had heard you.

This time, you used the blade one last time.

There would be no coming back.

The blood soaked the sheets — slow and silent.

You stared at the ceiling. Through the window, Gotham’s gray sky watched over you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure to whom.

Your breathing slowed.

Darkness closed in.

The sirens faded.

Bruce Wayne’s daughter vanished into the shadows.

---________________________________________---

The next day, the motel worker knocked, but there was no answer.

They opened the door — and found you.

The police report was brief:

“Female, aged …, suicide.”

When the call reached Wayne Manor, Bruce finally put his files down.

Jason went quiet.

Damian dropped his sword.

Tim turned off his screen.

Dick’s smile faded.

But it was too late.

They hadn’t seen you.

They hadn’t heard you.

And now… they never would.

---________________________________________---

[xi4oyan]

If I may request? Wukong (whichever version you'd like) X Reader experiencing their first kiss together? Wukong trying to mentally hype himself up for it, he wants it to go perfectly, but every time he starts he gets interrupted or something about the situation isn't "romantic enough". Reader eventually catches on and takes the initiative 💖 Love your stuff, it's so good

Hope you like, thanks very much ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Just Needed To Be Us

---💋ྀིྀི

The clear sky stretched out, tinted with deep blue as the sun slowly hid, giving way to a soft twilight. The field, covered in wildflowers and tall grass, seemed perfect in its simplicity. The sound of the river flowing was almost hypnotic, and the birds, though gathering for the night, still played their background music.

Wukong, with his gaze fixed on the stars, sat beside you. His hands moved nervously over the grass, trying to find words, something to say. But whenever he opened his mouth, something happened. A sudden breeze made a leaf fall onto his head, and he removed it with an embarrassed smile. You could see his internal struggle, the effort to make the right moment happen, but the tension was too obvious.

"I... was thinking it might be a good idea..." he began, but his voice came out low and hesitant. "Ah, no, maybe it's better to wait."

The sound of the breeze was replaced by the rustling of dry leaves being dragged, and both of you looked towards the horizon, where dark clouds began to form. Before he could finish a sentence, the rain started to fall. The sky had closed in suddenly, as if it had been waiting for the right moment to interrupt. And, as always, Wukong's moment was interrupted.

You laughed, standing up and running to find shelter. "Come on, Wukong! Let's take cover! Nothing can spoil this."

💋ྀིྀི

The next day seemed to promise more of the same — a calm before yet another internal storm from Wukong. The field where you were now had a completely different vibe, the golden light of the afternoon coloring everything with a warm and comforting hue. The flowers were gently dancing in the wind, and the trees were laden with ripe fruits.

But he seemed oblivious to everything around him. His gaze fixed on the distance, nervous, without the courage to take that final step. Every time your eyes met, he seemed to hesitate. His desire to be closer to you was clear, but he didn’t know how to approach. His words got lost in the air.

"I... thought maybe now was the right time," Wukong said, his tone firmer than before. He stepped forward, but then a loud sound cut through the air. Thunder. And, right after, the rain fell torrentially, quickly soaking the field.

"It wasn’t supposed to be like this," Wukong murmured, but you just gave a wide smile, running to take shelter under a tall tree. The romantic moment was lost again. The sky seemed to laugh at his attempt, and he just looked at you, exasperated.

💋ྀིྀི

The gentle breeze that had started in the morning was now calmer, and the flowers were mostly dry under the afternoon heat. The sun was setting, tinting everything with an orange light, a promise of a peaceful end to the day. But the atmosphere between you wasn’t one of tranquility. The tension hung in the air like a cloud ready to break.

Wukong, as always, tried to mentally prepare. He looked at you with a nervous smile, trying to find the right word, the perfect moment. However, the words he thought of never came out the way he wanted. He was suffocating from anxiety.

"I really thought that... but I..." he began, pausing and stepping back to look at the distant mountains. "Nothing seems... right, you know? Every moment feels flawed."

You watched him from a distance, your heart aching for him, but also entertained by the way he complicated everything. The wind, which had been calm, suddenly lifted a gust, making his clothes flutter and leaving a trail of dry leaves on the ground. Wukong, not knowing what to do, looked at you with a frustrated expression.

But before anything could happen, the cry of an animal in the distance caused the moment to be lost. He looked towards the forest, where the sound came from, and his attempt was once again interrupted.

💋ྀིྀི

The storm had arrived like a warning from the sky — the winds were strong, and the rain, torrential. But inside the cabin where Wukong had taken refuge, the atmosphere was completely different. That space was small, cozy, and the rustic wooden walls seemed to shelter you both in a world apart.

Wukong, with a determined look, had prepared dinner. The candles were lit on the dark wooden table, and the smell of freshly cooked food filled the air. The soft glow of the flames danced on the walls, casting gentle shadows as the sound of rain beat against the roof.

"I wanted it to be special," Wukong said, trying to smile but still with a hint of apprehension in his voice. "I hope you like it."

The sound of the storm outside made everything feel more intimate, as if the world had stopped, and only the two of you mattered now. The surroundings were perfect — the soft light from the candles creating an aura of warmth, and the wood of the cabin smelling of simple, welcoming life. The rain, with its rumbling thunder, almost became a song, filling the silences and amplifying the tension.

But, as usual, Wukong didn’t seem able to focus on the moment. He stood, fiddling with things, trying to find the right words.

That’s when the lights flickered and went out. The room grew darker, but the candlelight became even more intense, and the storm outside seemed to intensify the heat of the moment.

You stood up from the chair, walking towards him with a mischievous smile. Without words, you extended your hand. The atmosphere was charged, and both of you, without thinking, gave in to the sound of the rain, beginning to dance slowly in the middle of the small room illuminated by the candles.

The silent music of the rain filled the space as your bodies drew closer. Wukong was nervous, his body stiff, but as he noticed you were relaxed and confident, he let his arms circle your waist, feeling the warmth of your touch. Each movement in the dance was smooth, almost as if time had slowed, and the sound of the wind and rain blended with the beating of your hearts.

When the dance seemed to stretch into eternity, you, with a serene smile, took the initiative. Your hand went to Wukong’s face, and you pulled him into a kiss, soft and tender, as if all the effort and tension from the previous moments had dissipated right there, in those few seconds. The world outside, with all its storm and chaos, disappeared completely. All that mattered was him and you, together, finally.

When the kiss ended, he was stunned, speechless. "I... I can't believe it," he said, laughing shyly, while the expression in his eyes showed a mix of relief and happiness. "Finally, right?"

You smiled, touching his face with affection. "It just needed to be us, Wukong. Nothing else."

[blu3n]

JASON X FREADER

Established relationship : married, fluff/loving

TW : English is not my native language, it may be first person in Jason Peter Todd's speech.

Obs : open orders (Jason todd)

@blu3n : I do not allow under any circumstances to steal my story

🪼

Jason wouldn't be the type to get down on one knee to ask you to marry him or make a declaration of love, no, he's not even romantic.

but I believe he would be the type to show how much he loves you and when he is sure he wants to marry you he would do it, in his own way but he would do it

and speaking of marriage, I believe it would be like this.

how did you meet:

Wedding was the word Jason never thought he would think of in his entire life. The day he looked at you, your hair messy in the wind, your face shining in the sun, looking like you were arguing with someone on the phone, it made him turn his neck and stare at you. It was the strangest way to meet you.

Another time was when he was returning home after a tiring night of patrol... His eyes followed to the same place where he saw you, and there you were, only more dressed up, your wavy hair that seemed to be styled with curlers, your nails beautiful and your minimal makeup, just enough to leave anyone speechless.

The other times he saw you, he would gather up the courage and ask for directions. Yes, he knew Gotham like the back of his hand, but he wouldn't waste time getting to know you by pretending to be a new guy in town.

After that night, he was fully aware that it wouldn't be the first or the last time he would meet you. Jason found himself falling for you before he even realized it, even with the paranoia and PTSD episodes that accompanied it. Deep down, he knew you were different... He knew you weren't a bad person; that conviction resonated deep within him.

So, after years of building that wonderful bond—that warmth that everyone feels when they're truly in love—he finally decided to ask for your hand in marriage. After a period of dating that brought you even closer, this was a significant step for someone like him.

There you were, dressed in a stunning white gown, walking into the ceremony next to your father. The woman of his life, the woman he adored with every step she took... the woman he would give his life for.

The wedding was reminiscent of Dick and Barbara Gordon's, held in a beautiful beachfront location, with only close friends and family in attendance. He didn't want anything extravagant and was relieved to know that you preferred a simple celebration too.

That moment was so magical that he couldn't hold back the tears of joy that streamed down his face.

"Oh God, you gave me a goddess," he muttered to himself as he fought to keep more tears from falling.

"Go ahead, man," his older brother Dick's voice echoed in the background, accompanied by a gentle slap on his shoulder.

As he approached, he took her hand gently, afraid to squeeze it too hard and hurt that wonderful hand. I was shaking so hard I was sure you could feel it. "I love you. You look beautiful," he said, his voice full of adoration as he stood in front of you. "Thank you, you look great too," you replied, smiling brightly, barely able to hold back the tears of joy that streamed down your face.

After the priest's speech about the wedding, he asks the question to which you happily answer, accepting the wedding vows, for he was the love of your life.

"And you, Jason? Do you take (your name) to be your wife?"

Jason knew he had won the lottery; a woman like you was nowhere to be found. The depth of love he had received from you had made you his home... you had become a part of his flesh, a part of himself, and he would never let you go.

"Yes... I do," Jason said, his gaze never leaving yours for a second.

"Now you may kiss the bride—" Without waiting for the priest to finish, he leaned down and captured your lips, sealing the bond of marriage and declaring it officially in front of your friends and family.

He loves you.

[helpimstuckposting]

I’m a ghost and you are a shadow

Part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve | part thirteen | part fourteen

—

Four Days. They agreed to leave it and re-evaluate in four days. Steve's not sure they'll be any closer to figuring it all out, but the teens did have their own lives and jobs to get back to. At least the few days would give him time to think, to talk to Eddie, to hang out with Robin, to think some more.

Eddie had shown back up when the party was leaving, he didn't stay hidden like he had the first day. Steve was thankful for that. He didn't know if he would be able to gather the courage to find him, wherever he'd gone off to.

It felt a little awkward as the teens, Jonathan, and Nancy shuffled out the door; Eddie pointedly avoided Steve’s eye contact, Robin pointedly seeking out Steve’s eye contact as much as she could. As the door clicked shut, she nudged Steve once more, twitching her head in Eddie’s direction — her very-much-conspicuous movements grabbing the latter man’s attention. He rolled his eyes, she rolled hers back, and Steve stepped between both of them.

“Alright, alright, this silent attempt at conversation is bizarre and frankly very Three Stooges of you both.”

The two children dressed deceptively like adults shared another look, frantic argument crossing their features before they both blurted out, “I’m Curly!”

Robin glared, Eddie glared, the silent conversation between them had practically gained sentience of its own, staring on as the two alleged adults played tug-of-war in their minds. He could swear they’d start slap-fighting each other if he weren’t still standing in their way.

“Neither of you are Curly, and you know it,” Steve cut in, fondness bubbling up in his chest as they turned their glares toward him. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was grateful for their banter. He’d felt uncertain as the party left — the tension of his next conversation with Eddie looming in the background — but the tension disintegrated temporarily as Robin mimed poking Eddie’s eyes out, and he stopped her with a flat hand between her fingers. Robin looked annoyed, but Steve knew she was doing it on purpose; antagonizing Eddie to respond so Steve wouldn’t feel as nervous. Maybe Eddie was Curly, but he’d never say it out loud. He was certainly endearing enough.

As they finished their slapstick routine, Robin made her way upstairs for bed.

“Goodnight, Dingi!” she shouted, and Steve prayed an awkward silence wouldn’t take her place.

Instead, Eddie made his way to the living room — sharing a conspiratorial glance toward Steve — and whispered, “She’s totally Moe,” as he passed.

“I heard that!” Robin yelled from upstairs.

“There’s no fucking way she heard that,” Eddie grumbled, following after Steve as he ignored their antics and made his way past Eddie to the back door, sliding it open and leaving it for the other man to close.

He sat down once again by the edge of the pool, watching the sparkling ripples over the surface as he waited for Eddie to join him. He wasn’t sure where to start — it seemed like there was just too much to say, too much to ask, always so much to ask. Steve didn’t think he’d ever feel settled here until there were no more deep conversations to sort through, until he was known here and he knew them in return. He’d keep feeling like an imposter until then.

It was silent when Eddie took his place by Steve’s side, as they both watched over the water. Something about watching over it, of being present in the silence made him feel like a guardian. He watched now, because he didn’t then. Even though here it was a different gate, a different place, different circumstances. He watched, he guarded, he apologized for who he was in the past, over and over again, to a girl who’d never hear it.

Eddie sighed and Steve could feel the man’s eyes boring into the side of his head. How could humans do that? Feel someone’s eyes, like a tingling in their gut. What kind of electricity did a gaze hold? It was like trailing fingers just above his arm, never touching, never grazing, just hovering with a distinct tension between the two surfaces. He remembered, suddenly, the way El and Will would react to the Upside Down; the way goosebumps would prickle along Will’s skin and he’d clutch the back of his neck like someone had breathed against his skin, the way El would twitch and look around like she was seeing something that wasn’t there. He wondered if that was the same tension, the same prickling against your periphery, the same trailing electricity as Eddie staring at him across a room, or right next to him.

He broke his eyes from the water, catching Eddie’s, taking him in with the same reverence that Steve was being shown. He looked good, all things considered. He had shadows under his eyes — probably from their late night — but there weren’t deep bags, dark shadows carved into his skin like Steve was sure Eddie was seeing on his. He wondered how shitty he looked, grief soaked into his skin, hair unkempt and greasy, eyes probably drooping from lack of sleep for who knew how long, now. His last peaceful night of sleep was probably years ago. Before their final showdown, the one he wasn’t present for, the one he’d slept through, the one they didn’t bother to tell him about until it was too late, until he watched the gates close with his kids, his people, his Robin on the other side.

He blinked away the tightness in his eyes, looked back at the water. He could fall into the depths of Eddie’s eyes forever. It was dangerous. The water was safer. The water wasn’t as deep.

“Why here?” Eddie’s voice cut through the quiet, startling Steve out of his thoughts.

“Why where?”

“Here, by the pool. Seems like it’s always your go-to place,” he clarified, sweeping his arms out to encompass the whole area.

Before the Upside Down, before everything, he would come out here to relax, to think, to contemplate, to escape. It was easier to think with the sound of the water rippling against the tiled edge. It was peaceful, it was somewhere he could be alone that wasn’t lonely. It felt alive out here with the water whispering secrets into the air, with the trees rustling their whispers back. It felt like a conversation, even if Steve wasn’t a part of it.

After…. Well. After, he didn’t have the energy to clean it, to maintain the crystal clear waters and the area he used to escape to was no longer an escape. It was a reminder. So the water was drained, and the pool no longer whispered to the trees, and the grass grew too long, and the leaves fell and withered, and Steve stopped coming around.

Here, in a different world, it felt reborn. It felt new. Untouched by Steve’s issues, the water sparkled once again and lapped against the pool’s edge, and whispered to the trees, and the trees whispered back, and Steve felt safe whispering his own secrets to whoever would listen. Old habits and whatever.

“You remember what I said about my dad?” Steve asked. Of course he’d remember, he’d only told him yesterday. Yesterday. It felt like weeks.

Eddie nodded.

“Well, I was captain of the swim team because it was the only time my dad couldn’t bruise me up. Speedos don’t exactly provide the best coverage,” he chuckled to himself, trying to dampen the gravity of the statement. He looked at Eddie again. He was blinking more than usual, eyes seeing something Steve couldn’t. He seemed to blink himself back to the conversation, eyes clearing to lock with Steve’s.

“You were captain of the swim team?” He asked. Steve rolled his eyes, deflating from the build up.

“Is that really what’s important?”

Eddie shook his head, miming zipping his mouth and throwing away the key. Steve had somehow managed to surround himself with bonehead comedians in multiple universes.

“Yes, I was the swim captain, okay? I wasn’t in band, I did sports, I had a nanny-“

“You had a-“

Steve cut him off with a glare. So much for the zipped lips. Now they were tight, pulled taut into a sheepish line.

“Sorry,” he whispered, like the quiet would make him less guilty. Steve rolled his eyes. Peas of a pod, he and Robin were. It was really no wonder Steve and Eddie were dating in this universe, he was practically made for Steve; gorgeous and head-strong like Nancy, big brown doe eyes, and the same exact humor and attention span of his platonic soulmate. How did Steve not see that until now? How did he not know that was an option?

Steve sighed, shaking his own tangent away to focus back on the conversation. They’d get to the whole Eddie-and-Steve thing in a moment.

“Anyway,” he started again, “it was the only way I could think of to stop my dad, and it worked. So, I practiced every chance I could, I made sure he didn’t have a reason to talk me out of it. I spent a lot of time in the pool, and I guess I just… got used to being here.”

Eddie nodded, still silent, like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to talk yet.

“I came out here to think a lot. S’just a habit, I guess,” he added, not wanting to stew in the silence and hoping Eddie would take that as the end of Steve answering his question. He did, thankfully, and started humming as he thought of what to say next.

"You tellin' me you were a jock, Harrington? What else don't I know about you?" he settled on.

Steve rolled his eyes. Of course Eddie Munson, of the Munson Doctrine, was harping on the fact that he was a jock. It seemed like that was one more point to his differences between he and OtherSteve. It didn't feel bad, this time. It felt... nice, teaching Eddie about himself. It felt like he wasn't the only one learning new people, learning about Eddie. He liked that Eddie could learn about him, too, in a way he hadn't before. Steve was done with stalling this conversation, though. It was his turn to learn, now.

"Speaking of things I don't know about you..." he trailed off, letting the weight of his silence settle into Eddie's bones. He looked guilty, eyes darting around to avoid Steve's as his mouth thinned once again into a tight line. Steve thought Eddie had a pretty good poker face back home, but this one? Not in a million years.

"Right," Eddie muttered. "Well."

Steve waited patiently, letting Eddie work through his thoughts until he was ready. They both knew where the conversation was going. They both knew why they were out here in the first place, and why Robin left them to themselves. They both knew what was in the physical and metaphorical closet.

Eddie sighed, leaning back on his hands. He looked toward the sky, as if the stars could tell him where to start. Maybe they did. It wasn't much longer until Eddie looked back at Steve and started talking.

"Steve and I... We... Well... Shit," he muttered. The stars clearly had not offered their wisdom, in the end. So, Steve took pity on the man, and asked what had been poking at the back of his head since he saw the shared closet, held Eddie's leather jacket in his hands, and found those polaroids.

"You and Steve were together? Dating?"

Eddie nodded, bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he gnawed on the skin in leu of more words.

"When? I mean... For how long?"

He sat up again, hunched over and twirling his rings around and around his fingers. He chewed on his lip for a few more seconds before sighing again and releasing it, the flesh red and raw.

"We started dating secretly in high school," he started, "I failed it, the first time, and Robin wouldn't let me repeat that so she forced us into study sessions after school. Steve was struggling too, wasn't really great at the math and science parts."

Or English, or history, or Spanish, Steve thought bitterly.

"So, we went from hanging out during school, to hanging out nearly every day afterwords, weekends too. Sometimes, Robin wouldn't be able to make it because of her parents or soccer or whatever, but Steve and I would still meet up.

"With the whole... you know, Upside Down thing you kind of cling onto the people who know," he said, glancing toward Steve because he did know, he felt the same about Nancy and Jonathan.

"So how did you get together?" Steve asked, a little tired of Eddie beating around the bush if he were honest. But he didn't want to push too much, knew this conversation had to be hard for Eddie considering the fact he was telling it to someone with his dead boyfriend's face.

"I mean," Eddie started, cringing a bit as his eyes went wide. He cracked his knuckled and shook out his hands, the epitome of nervous energy. "It's kind of embarrassing, so you cannot laugh," he prefaced.

Steve laughed anyway, just from the warning. "Sorry, no promises."

Eddie groaned, back to twisting his rings around his fingers. "Fine, whatever. It was one of those stupid, cliche experiments, okay? I let it slip that I'd... you know, never kissed anyone, and Steve had offered to... to teach me."

"He was your gay Yoda?"

Eddie squawked, fidgeting halted by his sheer surprise at the statement. He stared at Steve, blush high on his cheeks as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Steve held his breath, trying desperately to maintain a blank face and appear as serious as possible.

"I did not have a gay Yoda!" He insisted. "It was a perfectly normal situation, okay? He'd kissed someone before, I hadn't, that was it!"

"If it were normal, you wouldn't be this embarrassed about it," Steve caught him out. He kept blinking and floundering, mouth wide in disbelief, and Steve couldn't hold in his laughter anymore. It bubbled out of him as Eddie smacked his arm in retaliation, shoving him off-balance when he didn't stop laughing.

"Okay! Okay!" Steve chuckled, righting himself as he shoved Eddie away, putting his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, it was a totally normal, non-Yoda teaching moment."

"Dick," Eddie muttered to himself.

"Sorry, continue? Please?" He nudged the other man's shoulder.

"Right," Eddie caved. Though he rolled his eyes and reached out to shove Steve one more time, his shoulders were more relaxed than when he started. He wasn't fidgeting or stalling as much as he did before, and Steve thought that even if it annoyed him a bit, the teasing was a good choice.

"Well, that lead to hooking up and Steve's big Bi awakening, and Robin and I coming out and it was a big sob-fest for all three of us, okay? It wasn't until after the second run-in with the Upside Down that we actually started dating.

"It was like..." he paused, trying to pick out the right words again. "When he was unconscious in my lap after Billy beat his face in, I kept thinking. You know... what if he doesn't wake up? What if he doesn't know about this huge stupid crush I have? What if I don't get to kiss him again?"

Steve watched, nearly mesmerized, as Eddie's tongue flicked out to lick his bottom lip. It wasn't red and swollen anymore from his biting, but it was damp now, glistening like the water and suddenly Steve felt thirsty. He swallowed, couldn't peel his eyes away as Eddie continued.

"So yeah, when he woke up I told him he was never allowed to be get beaten up again, we took the twerps through the tunnels, and I told him he was my boyfriend."

"You told him?" Steve scoffed.

"Yep," he said, popping the 'P' and nodding his head. "He was mine, and there was nothing he could do about it."

Steve could picture it. Could picture Eddie there with him in the tunnels, the concerned glances as he pitched to the side and hid it from the children, as his vision swam and he held himself together long enough to get the kids to safety. He could picture Eddie pulling him aside after they set it all on fire, telling him — not asking — telling him that they were dating now and Steve had to stay safe because he belonged to Eddie. His heart squeezed in his chest. It would work on him, too. If Eddie's eyes were full of concern and his hands gently touched the cuts on Steve's face, and he stepped in so close that Steve could feel his breath glide over the dried blood, and he told him. 'You're mine, Steve Harrington.'

It would work on him, now, he realized; his breath caught in his throat as he watched Eddie's tongue dart out again and wet his lips. Fuck. He was fucked.

He glanced away, breath shuddering from his mouth as he let it out. He felt jealousy in the pit of his stomach, felt it burn like shame as he realized he wanted that. He wanted Eddie.

He took a deep breath, holding it until it felt steadier, like it wouldn't shake as it left his lungs. He couldn't think like that. He was just confused because of the circumstances. Eddie wasn't his. This one, or the one gallivanting in California in his own world; they weren't his. Steve didn't have anyone like that, and it wasn't fair to Eddie to want it. He'd already had a Steve. Had already lost him. He was a different person, and that wouldn't change.

—

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, I really loved writing this one! I'm so excited to be back on this bullshit, I have so many plans 👀

Tag List:

@devondespresso @machete-inventory-manager @sirsnacksalot @space-invading-pigeon @aliea82

@goodolefashionedloverboi @anti-ozzie @13catastrophic-blues @estrellami-1 @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

@likelylad @aellafreya @wxrmland @shunna @howincrediblysapphicofyou

@1-8oo-wtfbro @grimmfitzz @queenie-ofthe-void @redheadchimechild @bread52487

[astarions-bride]

hey, this totally isn't z0mibite. Can I get 32 and 9 from the kinky masterlist, pretty please? Location, preferably a tent ⛺️

This turned out a bit longer than anticipated 😅 hope you enjoy! ❤️

A few days into the expedition once you reached the depths of the Amazon, and a lot of hard trekking where yourself and the rest of the crew had to scramble to keep pace with Rob and the Professor, you all found a camping spot that was near a small river where you could finally bathe and replenish their water. You nearly wept and the scientist Tim was misty eyed at the prospect of taking a bath as opposed to the little quick rinses they’ve been doing. The Professor had been pushing them at a brutal pace, excitement boosted at the discovery of a yellow Boa not indigenous to the region, and you had the suspicions that he has forgotten that most of his crew weren’t used to such brutal conditions.

Everyone except Rob.

You had kept a hefty distance away from the older man without being too obvious since he discovered your little crush when Tim was talking way too loud within earshot of the stoic man, you were asking less questions and avoiding eye contact, but Rob had been perfectly normal. However, you had felt his eyes boring into your back when you would film a few scenes of the nature around them whenever James decided to give you the  camera, and there was one occasion where you caught him slowly running his eyes over your body. Of course, that led you to tripping over your feet and nearly twisting an ankle in shock at the dark glint in his bright blue eyes.

You had tried your very best to keep a distance away from Rob, being on your best behavior helping film interviews, and on some level you were successful. It didn’t make your constant anxiety go away though. Especially when he would offer a hand when walking over unstable earth or a rushing stream, his long fingers burning against your skin at the contact, and you nearly fell into a river when he put his hands on your waist to hoist you up over a rock. James found that amusing and had the camera in your face the entire time. Making enough noise that even the Professor had to chide him.

Every moment with Rob seemed to deepen your crush. His experience in the wilderness and knowledge of animals left you fighting against the urge to swoon, his deep soothing voice calm as he explained every question that was thrown at him by Tim or James or even Michelle, and you caught yourself smiling as you filmed him while Michelle interviewed him. Noting the crinkles at the corners of his eyes when he flashed a rare smile, the way he seemed to be a well of information that he shared easily, and the way his voice alone made a flush rise in your face. You could barely contain yourself when he addressed the camera. Looking into your eyes just shy of the lens with an intensity that left you clenching your thighs together. The way his eyes tracked every movement you made you knew that he caught the way you shifted and the way your face flushed. You should have known that he would talk to you sooner rather than later.

You had just finished your quick bath, reveling in the feeling of being squeaky clean, and you decided to film a few shots of the water and surrounding trees after everybody had a chance to clean themselves. In the background you could hear James chatting happily somewhere behind you with an awkwardly laughing Lisa and you smiled softly as you filmed a bird hopping around the riverbank. Suddenly, a body stepped up beside you, and the feel of body heat chasing away the slight chill left over from your bath had you fighting a shiver.

“Tonight. Your tent,” Rob murmured quietly, voice quiet yet still had a slight edge that brooked no argument, and this time you weren’t able to hide your shiver at his words.

Gathering your fleeting courage, you turned slightly to stare up at him. The man was staring out over the water, blue eyes flicking over the entire area and into the trees as if a beast was gonna jump out of the bushes any moment, and his face was carefully void of emotion. Standing next to him you felt incredibly small, your head barely reaching his broad shoulders, and your breath caught in your throat when his eyes darted to you.

His eyes were intense, seeming to peer straight into your soul, and any air in your lungs seemed to evaporate. This was the first time he had spoken to you about your obvious attraction to him and your hands began to sweat at his stare.

“All you have to do is say ‘no’,” he offered just as quietly and your heart jumped into your throat at the prospect of losing any chance with him.

Your answer apparently was written all over your face since the tension in his shoulders seemed to ease. Seemingly satisfied that he had got his point across he turned on his heel and walked back to the tree line where the crew were setting up their tents. You eyed the darkening sky through the thick canopy, the smell of oncoming rain filled your burning lungs, and your hands trembled as you put the camera up.

It seems you had a date to prepare for.

Later on, long after the sun had set and the heavy rain was pelting your tent, you were curled up under your sleeping bag on the verge of a panic attack. You had prepared yourself the best you could under the circumstances. A packet of Vaseline tucked underneath your makeshift pillow, your pants and panties were folded neatly in your bag which left you in just a loose t-shirt, and your senses seemed to heighten with every minute you were left waiting. You took a moment to be thankful that you had a tent all to yourself. A twig snapped by your tent, making your entire body go rigid, and you silently prayed it wasn’t some creature that would force you to run through the trees half naked. Your tent quietly zipped open, your ears straining for any other noises over the pounding rain, and cool air rushed into your tent before it was quickly closed again. The sudden silence was deafening. You could hear his breathing and you envied the slow calm breaths.

Your heart was pounding against your ribcage almost painfully and your lungs seemed to refuse to work.

“Are you certain?” Rob asked softly and you squeezed your eyes shut in the darkness at his deep voice.

Unable to force words out of your mouth, you pried your fingers off your pillow to reach underneath and thrust the pack of makeshift lube in his general direction, but you stayed curled on your side away from him. Unable to force your body to move as your nerves got the best of you. Without another word you heard the distinct sound of fabric on fabric before feeling him slide underneath your blanket and into your sleeping bag. His body heat wrapped around you and you couldn’t stop the shiver that raced down your spine.

“Are you cold?” Rob asked, his voice so close to your ear and his strong lean body sliding close, and you fisted your blanket in your hands as anxiety clawed at you.

“No,” you finally managed to choke out, before jumping as a warm calloused hand landed on your bare thigh underneath your shirt.

His hand slid carefully against your skin, brushing over your thigh before settling against your hip, and you bit your lip as he reached up to tug on your shirt. It took you a moment to realize he wanted it off. With trembling hands you pulled the shirt over your head and shivered again at the sudden rush of cool air. Chills erupted over your skin, your nipples pebbling as his warm hand swept against your hip and up to your ribcage, and then he slid his hand further up. He brushed against the swells of your breasts, making your breath hitch, and then he suddenly curled his hand around your thigh. With your breath lodged in your throat, you let him spread your thighs and fought a whimper when he placed your leg across his, letting your knee hook over his lap. Exposed and anxious, you tried to mimic his even breathing, but jerked harshly against him as lubed fingers suddenly dipped between your thighs.

You tried to snap your legs close out of reflex, but his forearm held you open.

“Easy,” Rob whispered against your hair, pressing his body closer to you until you felt every bare inch of him, and he kept his hand right where it was as you forced yourself to relax.

You squeezed your eyes shut, hating how on edge you were, and a fuzzy idea formed in your racing mind. You forced one hand away from your blanket and hesitantly curled your hand over Rob’s wrist. You ignored how you were still trembling, but the man behind you waited patiently to see what you were going to do next. Biting your lip, you began moving his hand against you, and you heard his breath hitch. You fell into the familiar pattern that always sent you shaking with pleasure and the feel of his rough fingers sliding against your sensitive folds had a small whine escaping your throat.

Soon, all tension from your body had dissipated, and you were subtly rocking your hips against his fingers. You felt him nuzzle into your hair, placing a kiss against the nape of your neck, and he hummed lightly at the growing wetness between your thighs.

“You’ve wanted this for a while, huh?” he asked in a hushed voice and your leg twitched against his hip at the husky tone.

His words made your face burn, but you quickly forgot about your embarrassment when his middle finger sank deep into your core as his thumb lazily circled your clit. Your eyes shot open in the dark as your hips jerked forward into his touch and your breath caught in your throat.

“Answer me, sweetheart,” he said and you whimpered at the stretch as he added another finger inside you alongside the first.

You nodded as you breathed deeply through your nose to stop yourself from passing out at the sudden pleasure.

Rob’s fingers slipped free from your warmth, making you whine at the loss, but then you felt something bigger nudge against you.

“I want to hear you say it,” he said quietly and your eyes fluttered shut as he began rocking subtly against you, dragging his length through your soaked folds, and your head leaned back to rest against his shoulder.

You felt the scruff of his short beard brush against your temple as he nuzzled against you.

“Please, Rob,” you choked out and you felt his free hand slip up to anchor around your mouth.

You were momentarily confused, making a small noise in question, before nearly shrieking as he sheathed himself deep inside you to the hilt. Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull as an unflattering noise wheezed out of you and he shushed you gently in your ear.

He thankfully stilled against you to let your body adjust, keeping his hand over your mouth to muffle any noise, and you felt his other hand massage the meat of your thigh.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he grunted, grinding up into you as you slowly adjusted to his girth, and you whimpered at both the words and movement.

You eventually found yourself moving with him, rocking against him as much as you could while pinned against him, and slid his hand from your mouth to wrap gingerly around your throat. Rob began to move in a slow sensual rhythm and you nearly bit your lip bloody to keep your sounds down. Eventually he moved to a faster pace, snapping his hips against you until you were left clawing at his arm as pleasure coiled tight in your pelvis and warmth radiated from your center. Your body ached at the stretch and the vigorous movement, but it only heightened the bliss rushing through you. The man was grunting in your ear, words of praise mixed with utter filth, and his grip on your thigh turned bruising.

You realized you were panting out his name as he fucked into you, the air in the tent humid and reeking of sex as you failed for breath, and you slapped a hand over your own mouth as a quick and devastating orgasm hit you without warning. Your body arched against him, eyes rolling back in pleasure, and you heard him quietly talking you through your orgasm as he slowed his pace to something slow and deep to draw out your pleasure. It wasn’t until you fell limp and twitching against him that you realized he was still hard inside you. You made a muffled noise against your hand and moved your other hand to reach back to pet through his hair. Rob pulled out, making you wince and moan at the loss, before you felt him pumping himself with his free hand. You leaned your head back to mouth at his jaw, feeling him adjust to press his lips against yours, and he groaned deep in his chest as warmth spilled between your thighs and against your cunt. You moaned again at the sensation, feeling marked as his mouth swallowed your small noises as his tongue swept into your mouth, and you felt his body relax against you.

You both panted almost in tandem and you couldn’t stop the slurred giggle that escaped you.

“I should have said something sooner,” you muttered and felt him smile against your shoulder where he was busy placing soft kisses.

Rob helped ease your thighs close, your body still feeling weak and sluggish, and you felt him pull you closer. You turned around until you faced him, cuddling into his chest shyly considering the act you just committed within feet of your crew mates, and your heart skipped a beat when he wrapped his arms around you.

“Had to wait for the rain. Otherwise we would’ve waken the entire camp,” he explained and you flushed in embarrassment at the truth in his words.

“We should clean up,” you eventually whispered as your eyelids threatened to slip shut and he hummed.

“I’ll clean you up when I’m done with you,” he said evenly and you pressed your heated face against his chest to hide your goofy grin.

[doubledeadstudio]

Finally got the courage to ask a question (Happy New Years Eve/ Day whenever you see this) but just a general question

What was the creative process of making Reanimated Heart, Another Rose in his Garden and Pygmalion’s Folly? What was the inspiration behind those three games? What was your favorite one to work on? Do you plan to make new games in the future?

Happy New Year to you too, anon! I love questions like these. The development and creative process is something I'm very passionate about.

Creative Process? Inspiration? (Just shoving both of this in one, long discussion about how these things came to be)

Okay, you guys will probably think I'm an insane person, so let me explain how I got started on them...

I first started with RH (of course) when my friend Tay told me about this game she was playing where a character really resembled Crux (it was Markus from Red Embrace: Hollywood). And I played it because of that, and I was like, damn??? He really does? And I was on the path of my artist journey that I was like looking at the game assets and the dialogue and stuff where I was like... Wait, I can do that. I can write like this. I can draw everything. Who's stopping me? I had a dream with the tree, and I started writing dialogue in "hypothetical" VN scenarios, and I was like... okay, fuck it, I already got disowned by my family and I wanna kill myself, I've got nothing left to lose.

So I started pre-development for Reanimated Heart and wrote like about 20,000+ words, made sprites and backgrounds, spent an ungodly amount of money for music and fonts and did research, and released the Prologue on itch. It ended up kind of a flop? And I was honestly so mad for years LMFAO, but I kept at it because I liked making it. And then a fan, Ashe, contacted me out of nowhere and suggested I improve my socials. (Thanks Ashe.)

All in all, I think that, if RH never gathered attention... I would still be making it, but releases would've been shorter and weirder, and it wouldn't have the level of polish it does now because "nobody's playing this shit anyway." But having a fandom motivates me to push past my comfort, and inspires me to do releases semi-regularly. So, thank you guys for the support. :>

Anyway, enough RH rambling. Another Rose happened because a couple of members in the chat (I remember Maz and Chat in particular) kept joking about Omegaverse and I've never like... consumed any Omegaverse before, and I literally had no fucking clue what it was other than mpreg and werewolves. And I was like drinking that day and I got intrigued. And I kept thinking about the scenarios and became like ACTUALLY invested, but I didn't know anything about it still, so I kept asking Maz about it and she really helped hash out the "lore" and gave me really good scene suggestions. I honestly think Another Rose is the most indulgent of all my games because...

First of all, it's just straight porn. Second, aside from the quality of the work, I don't think about the audience, at all. There's only a price point to it but it's basically like a smut novel with some path deviations (that also just read to different porn)? Third, I'm like... I'm not going to lie, obsessed with my husband's OC Mars. And it's funny af to me how people ended up disliking him, because this whole game was like just my personal (smutty) love letter to how much I love that godawful man.

For Pygmalion's Folly... There had been long discussions in my server about murdersims. I'll be honest, I didn't get them at first, but I think Adri framed it in a way that I understood it, which was like... it was a morbid fascination to how bad things can get in situations like that. So I ended up playing the first BTDs and obsessively finished TPOF to the point I was having dreams about it, and I'm not going to lie, I had a dream! Again!! And it was Florentin killing the MC over and over. I woke up in a haze and wrote like the first 3000 words of the game in a frenzy with just 2 hours of sleep, and I was like, okay. This is getting made for sure. And because Adri was the avid murdersim fan, I consulted with them about the game, and they were the one that suggested the stats system, as well as some scenarios for endings.

So I guess tl;dr I cannot explain how I make games to you guys because they just kind of form when I'm drunk or get prophetic dreams.

Favorite to Work On?

Honestly, I loved working on all of them equally, believe it or not. (I equally also hate all of them when I'm crunching for the release. /jk)

The thing about these characters is that they're all OCs that are near and dear to my heart, ones that I've had for YEARS (I've had Vin for 12 years, can you imagine that?), and seeing all of them in action excites me so much.

I love that I got to make Abel the protag and I love that I got to put him in fun, sexual situations. I love that I managed to show off Florentin's special powers, and draw amazing grisly CGs with him. I love that Black, Vin and Crux are different, romanceable characters, that you can go to their houses, that you can see CGs with them, that you can follow their character development and be invested in their secrets, that they even have awesome voice actors that bring them to life!

And I love that so many of you also love them too, and write fic of them and draw them... Honestly, that's already my dream, and I'm so happy about it.

New Games in the Future?

Absolutely, yes! I got the VN dev bug and you guys will have to chase me out of here, LMAO.

But this year, considering how busy I'd be... I'd say probably not in case something really pushes me to make something (like, I had an idea I can't stop thinking about). My top priority right now is Reanimated Heart's Chapter 1 finale, and I have some free DLC I'm thinking of adding for Another Rose and Pygmalion's Folly, so those will probably get prioritized first.

[idiodicideations]

Its the End of the World As We Know It

Edit: went back and simplified and edited some bits. If you have any feedback please let me know

Red Dawn inspired AU Poly! 141 x Reader. This will eventually be a Dead Dove Do Not Eat so be prepared. Following chapters to be tagged accordingly. let me know if I missed any content warnings and I’ll add em. First actually published fic so forgive me as I figure all this stuff out. I also have no idea how to tag shit.

cw: sorta suicidal ideation, death, dead animals, killing for sustenance

Being home for Thanksgiving break meant a reunion for all the family. Preparation, drinks, drama and the works. She had been in shock since the news stations first started going dark. No one had been answering calls or texts though, phone lines going haywire. It was the first sign of the impending darkness. Maybe being home and antisocial for the holidays was the only thing that had kept her out of harm's way.

So, she did what she thought was best. Preparing for the worst.

She started purifying water and storing it in the cellars and reserve tanks scattered around the property as the radio went haywire in the background. Putting away roughly 10 gallons a day until she ran out of room in the storage drums. She took breaks to try and contact anyone, but nothing seemed to work and no one seemed to be making any contact with anyone. She had spent three straight days sweating in the kitchen and canning what could be salvaged from the late fall gardens, adding to the surplus of other canned goods already ordered, labeled and dated for situations like these. After years of going up and down the stairs with armfuls of freshly canned goods with extended and close family at every gathering, she finally realized their higher purpose.

That her family wasn’t just crazy, they were right.

The rabbits in the corner of the barn had been harvested and cleaned on day seven. All the hides stretched and dried were nearly prepared to tan. She’d cried just like she had when she was a child. Gently stroking soft fur before mustering the courage to deliver that singular deadly blow to all five of the yearling bucks. The tendrils of blood diluting in the running water and twirling sickeningly down the drain of their barn processing sink seemed to haunt her. Bracing herself on either side of the wash basin, she let her head hang and cry, hands still bloody and running into the running basin.

The jerky had finished dehydrating before the grid went down, a week and a half since no contact. She was at least a little bit thankful their deaths weren’t in vain.

If anyone peeked in, they’d think she was preparing for the harsh mountain winter ahead. Or just carrying on their family's time-honored tradition the confused onlooker would consider steeped in delusion. They wouldn’t know what horror waited in these mountains unless they looked for the signs.

Over the past several days, she had further camouflaged her father’s hunting lodge with downed evergreen branches. Utilizing the foliage to keep the roof and edges of the building hidden from air surveillance. It was relatively easy to just lock away all the perishable food in the basement and hide the cellar entrance with more foliage. She’d moved all the ammo, artillery, and some of the water up the road to the hunting cabin as discreetly as possible.

There were only two ways to get up on this side of the mountain. You could use the family road that began right behind Nana and Papas, only accessible from the long windy driveway (which was now blocked with barbed wire, a beater pick up with the batteries now disconnected and about five two by four boards with rusty nails poking precariously out of them and covered with some leaf litter) or Mr. Anderson's back pasture road. Which was secure in the way it was a well-kept secret, only used by either family who knew of the path. Which made it the default egress point incase she needed to bug out in a hurry.

This wasn’t all her doing, of course. There were many, many people with input into the overall plan. The plan clearly laid out in a few large binders color coded and hidden in a drawer next to the fridge in the hunting lodge. She was never really an active planner of all the possible apocalyptic scenarios, never had the head for it. She hadn’t experienced the hardship of war or starvation quite like the generations before her had. She was just doing as she was instructed, with as much confidence as she could muster.

Halfway prepared, halfway done and there was no one there. Her spirits slowly started to dampen. A college kid wasn’t meant to take this on all alone, let alone at all. The rundown garage near the hunting lodge had mostly been cleared and the boat awning on the side of the building was now dually being used for water storage and firewood storage. The inside of the run down garage nearest the lodge had a corner packed to the ceiling full of hay for the winter and a stall for her singular mule companion. Her father had made alterations to the back of the garage, making a sheltered run just under the tree line to keep prying eyes from above none the wiser, and razor wire on the outside to keep bears and other predators out. Not counting all the feed and overstock of hay down at Nana and Papa’s, Jack would surely make it through the winter. She wasn't sure she would make it though. Surely she’d go mad in isolation.

No one showed up. No word in or out. There was always a bug out plan that every family member agreed to right as they moved out. Hell, the hunting lodge even had a few kids' toys for the little ones her siblings popped out. Stockpiles were always built and managed for twelve people to survive with a harsh winter in mind, which in hindsight would make it easier on herself. Seeing as she had no idea how long she was going to be locked away alone and scared.

Preparation was the cornerstone of their lives. The two patriarchs knew something would happen and made sure their family would outlive them. It didn’t matter how, it was all obsolete now. There was so much preparation, decades of it, and it was all for nothing. She didn’t want to live. She didn’t want to try and fight. She didn’t think she’d actually have the nerve for war or killing someone if it came down to it. Yet she had to try. Just in case the family was caught up somewhere, maybe they just couldn’t reach her yet. So she thought of their smiling faces and soldiered on.

It was two weeks since the bloodshed started. She hadn’t seen it, but then again she didn’t have to. You can infer that those loud explosions a few days back killed a few people, that constant gunfire resulted in casualties.

Suddenly, her vision was blurry, and it took her shaken brain a moment to comprehend that she was in fact crying. Jack was sure-footed and didn’t even stutter step on the gravel drive as she continued on, wiping her tears on the back of her thick jacket sleeve. It had been three days since she’d heard anything on the radio other than how the Russians took most of the North Western mountain towns and the national anthem played over and over again. In between constant songs they relayed that there were fights along the West Coast, they’d claimed Alaska in days. Hostages were taken, some of them executed to prove a point to those who defied them.

Violence and death were a universal language, and she could hear them even this far up in the mountains. Bombs, helicopters, and vehicles hummed on and in the sky over the main roads, only adding to the cacophony. Luckily, they wouldn’t dare try and traverse these tight backroads. Too steep, too much weight in a tank or armored car. Tree cover was her only ally in the fight above, keeping out of sight and inconspicuous. She’d taken a few dives into the dirt in the past two weeks when a helicopter had come too close, trying ever so hard to listen to what she had been taught. She’d abandoned her own vehicle down in the driveway along with the booby traps, leaving it with a siphoned gas tank and locking Nana and Papa’s front door. The first time it had ever been locked in years. The click of the deadbolt made her stomach churn.

She did the only thing she could think of. After nearly three weeks with no word. She headed to Mr. Anderson's farm up. He’d illuminate her situation, tell her what needed to be done. Tho she was pretty sure he’d tell her what she feared.

That no one was coming

Startling awake after dozing on his porch rocker by Jack's hoofs displacing gravel, Anderson’s rifle was up to his shoulder in an instant and his Vietnam Vet hat sat proudly askew on his head from sighting in so fast. Once he saw Jack's large ears come around the corner, his rifle went down and his large calloused hand ran down his face, exhausted and exasperated.

—

So there she was, a cup of coffee keeping her hands warm in the chill of the fall morning. Jack tied to the rail of the house just outside as Lizette, Gerald Anderson’s wife, scurried about. The older woman’s mind drifting back to the pleasantries of hosting even in such a hostile environment. She selflessly pulled the last of her chocolate chip cookies from her infamous moose cookie jar to set between them.

“Well sweetheart, I ain’t gonna sugar coat it we’re fucked-“

“Gerald Anderson, language!”

“Lizette- god-damn it woman, the girl needs to hear it!” his bushy furrowed brow quickly softened when he realized his outburst and twisted into an apologetic and apathetic gaze. This was the beginning of the end. It was a matter of time before their homes were raided, and they’d no doubt be dead. The man hadn’t survived one war without surrendering to die in another man’s with his head in his ass. His rough hand grabbed his wife’s smaller, less worn one, and he patted the back of it with reverence. His ranch was expansive, nothing like the small chunk of land her family inherited. He’d been a well-known name in town for years and a second grandfather to everyone.

“I’m not built for war anymore, honey. If I was, I'd take both of you out of here, and we’d make a difference in the fight, but I ain’t cut out for it.” His voice quieted, softening the blow of his next truth as he made eye contact with the girl across from him.

“You need to get gone. As gone as you can. No one else is coming sweetheart. They’re dead or gone.” It sunk in, that’s for sure. Unfortunately, it sunk her further onto her elbows on the dinner table as silent tears rolled down her cheeks in waves.

“I’m going to give you all the guns and ammo I can spare. You’re going to go up to your daddy’s huntin’ cabin and get hunkered down. I got my gas tank down on the mouth of that road. I got it covered pretty well last week with brush and shrubs ain’t nobody gonna see it. It should run you through winter and maybe into spring if you ration. I want to give you somethn’”

—

What she didn’t think would happen on this outing was leaving the property with a border collie puppy under her arm in the warmth of her wool jacket. It was stupid, actually really fucking stupid. Sure, there was more than enough food and water, but a crying puppy was going to be a huge problem. Or so she thought anyway, the poor thing hadn’t made so much as a whine since Anderson had pulled him from the guest room.

“He was a gift for my granddaughter. Or was ‘sposed to be anyway.”

The second surprise followed at Jack's heels with steely mismatched eyes. The infamous older blue heeler the old man called Bronco. He must have seen the way her lips quivered at the thought of being left alone. No one and nothing to live for. Now there were at least three reasons for her to snap out of it. It was better than nothing.

—

The lodge was empty. Not really. There was furniture and skulls of every shape and size, a TV mounted in the living room with a VCR player and all the western classics, a wood stove off in the corner, two bedrooms with twin bunk beds lining the walls, an armory, and another cellar also filled to the brim. No, it wasn’t empty in that sense, just that she’d never heard the place so quiet. Bronco was quick to enter to sniff at the door frames only to harrumph onto the first couch he spotted. The puppy, however, was skittish. After his claws hit the hardwood, he curled up into himself and got his tail tucked between his legs underneath the wooden bench at the entrance and stayed there. She shed her jacket and shoes and stood in the doorway dazed. There wasn’t anything left to do. So she did the one thing that she could think of.

The VCR hummed as it rewound the tape. She had been rewatching the same movie with a glass (or three) of strawberry wine since sundown with only her favorite cowboy western film to fill the deafening silence. Not the greatest use of electricity, but was necessity for her sanity. She’d been non-stop. Work hadn’t ended for three weeks. Ears perked for the slightest twig to snap. A rabbit tirelessly digging itself down into the earth for safety. It wouldn’t keep the predators out for long. Soon they’d come. It was a matter of time, and she didn’t know what would become of her after they found her.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She was supposed to be on campus studying, charming everyone with tales of small towns and prepping.

“Well, maybe your family should go on that show!”

And let the whole world see how much they had stockpiled and prepared? Ring the dinner bell? No fucking way. She just smiled and nodded, agreeing with her peers for appearance's sake, before quickly changing the subject.

The VCR stuttered back to the begining, and the chorus started to play softly in the dark lodge. Bronco lay at the end of the couch, muzzle sitting on the edge of it and staring directly at the TV. He almost looked bored. The new puppy laid on the floor dozing quietly after becoming a custom to his new circumstances. Maybe it was the buzzing of the wine in her veins, but she never recalled asking the old man the dog's name.

Mason jar still in hand and nearly empty of the tinged pink alcohol, half lidded eyes and interested in the patterning of the collies coat. Gangly and shy, yet sweet and needy. Ideas of a name rolled around somewhere between sadness and numbness. The gunshots of the movie took her briefly out of the trance of swirling the liquid absentmindedly and brainstorming to face the TV. There stood the answer to her problems, John Wayne as the one-eyed Rooster Cogburn. A famously mean and twisted bastard. Perfect, a good way to toughen him up was to get him a good name. Keep the theme with all the animals being named after animals.

—

She woke up with a start, having at some point in the night turned the TV off (thankfully) with Brono curled between her legs. The couch wasn’t insanely comfortable, but neither was the situation. Or the pounding in her head.

Recon. It was part of any good mission, or so she had been told. She wouldn’t know, it was all second-hand information that bored her to death. Luckily, it was second nature with how many dry runs they did as a family. Somberness struck her in the gut as she laced up her boots and got ready to head out. It also involved makeup, or what her grandfather used to promise was better than mascara and foundation.

Why would you need anything better than this sweetheart?

It was as if someone else was staring back at her. She couldn’t look into the bathroom mirror, thinking about how ungrateful she was for this opportunity to live. To be the designated survivor when this was the last thing she ever wanted to be part of. So the smears of brown and green on her face were probably more asymmetrical and terrible than needed, as she applied them haphazardly away from her daunting reflection.

With that, she left with Rooster and Bronco and Jack tucked away and out of sight and a rifle in her hands. She started walking down the back path, staying off the roads and listening for anything. It was still too quiet. There was always some stupid banter about a college football game or the ever present “who brought grandpa's beef jerky” and to fork it over to de-pepper for the trek. Because God blesses Papa, and he made the best jerky, but god-damn it, it was so peppery that it was all you could taste.

So she made her way through the back dirt road, ducking her head out to check its clarity before quickly crossing and ducking onto the Anderson Ranch’s path. Cutting through rough shrubbery to come out just behind the barn to ensure Mr Anderson didn’t shoot on sight.

Unfortunately, the signs of death had already appeared. Every horse was shot dead, left lying in the paddock and her hand went quickly to cover her mouth at the stench. Flies buzzing soon drowned out her thoughts as she got closer. They must have been dead for a day at least. Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach and she turned and headed toward the house as fast as she could manage. The door was already ajar, so she just shouldered it open some more with her rifle on her shoulder. Time seemed to slow, and the only thing she could hear was the thrum of her heartbeat deafening everything. Quietly as she could, she made her way through the house, eyes already welling up before getting into the bedroom. There were drag marks, blood was running out the door. She turned to reach for her breakfast. They were dead. Lizette was in the closet half in and half out. She was hiding. And they killed her. Mr. Anderson looked like he held his ground before they tried to come for him. Looked like he killed or winged one of them enough to drag them out before they put him down.

They were alive yesterday. They were alive fucking yesterday. Those horses had at least half a day to rot, so they came yesterday after she left. If they had come just a bit earlier she would have been there too. She stumbled to the porch and let her body fall down the steps. This wasn’t just a make-believe scenario anymore. There were people here to kill her. God knows how many or where they were. It seemed hopeless. Sitting on the porch until dusk, head in her hands and thinking. If they found Mr Anderson, they may have already found the other driveway. The thought dawned on her, and she grabbed the rifle next to her and double-timed it down the main road, the fastest way home.

She was almost there and ready to cross, but her footfalls were soon spurned with the turning of wheels on gravel, and she all but threw herself into the ditch. Quickly pulling her weapon out from beneath her and to the side. She didn’t have any advantage in this firefight. Shit she had barely brought any ammo. The most she thought she would see today was maybe a coyote. Closing her eyes for a moment to compose herself as the truck passed, praying they didn't spot her.

Or so she thought. Then the gravel stopped rolling under the tires and she heard the creaks of doors opening. Three maybe?

“Don’t think they cleared up 'ere cap. Seems well-preserved”

“Coudnae make it up this far wi’ their vehicles”

There was some shuffling, clicking and racking of assault weapons that made her blood run cold. Then again, one man had a Scottish accent. Did Russia take over Scotland? Then again, the other dude sounded more posh, British maybe. Before she could put a finger on it or chance a look to make out what they were wearing, another man spoke, and she ducked back down instictivly.

“‘E ain’t daft enough to stick is’ name on the wall, Johnny. The Yanks want is head on a spike too”

Deeper but less posh. Definitely British, who the fuck else calls Americans Yanks? She tightened her grip and pushed up on her heels. Unfortunately, a rock underfoot slipped and knocked itself down the road. She didn’t need to see them to know they were looking in her direction. The world stopped turning, and her ears were thrumming with blood and adrenaline again. These guys seemed like they knew what to do with a weapon, how to kill someone. Like they were looking for trouble. That was it, the end. Nice knowing ya. Bye bye. There was a deathly silent pause and her grip tightened on her weapon as she prepared to go out fighting.

“Ye think there's bears oot here, LT?”

With a silent shaky sigh of relief and the tension in her body disparaged, if only slightly.

“Aye, mammy bear an' daddy bear an' the little 'un with the porridge that's just reyt”

Two of the men seemed to laugh, and a fourth voice chimed in.

“Shut it. We'll stay here for the night. We'll be in town by morning.”

Maybe they’d leave, take a trip up Anderson's farm road and leave without a trace in the morning. Keep everything right in place.

“Back down the road seemed guid enough fer the nicht, Cap.”

Or maybe not.

[obimaulartfire]

October 26th- "Seduction" for the @sithobiwanevent

Mini-fic connected to this piece under the Read More tag! I had so much fun with this prompt, hehehe

Maul walked down the neon-lit streets of Coruscant, out of the Jedi Temple. The mission he just finished had been hard, but successful.

His clone commander offered to take him out in celebration, but Maul turned him down. He wasn’t the social type; he preferred to do things on his own terms.

Besides, he felt…it, again.

“It” was a presence that had been following him like a shadow for the past few years.

It felt like fire and ice at once; cool, prickly fury mixed with a warm affection. At least, that was what the Force told him.

“It” never hurt him. In fact, it was often a comfort when he felt completely alone in the world, whether that was in the Temple, out in the street, or off-world. When he was sorrowful, overwhelmed, or angry, it was nearby like a cold pillow on a hot night. But it felt stronger than usual today, like it was about to smother him.

Therefore, he couldn’t risk anyone else getting in the way. Today was the day he would find the source.

He walked down the street, keeping his sixth sense open and his eyes over his shoulder. There were so many people here; any one of them could be the source of the Force presence. Frustrated, he grumbled to himself as he walked towards no destination in particular. But then, he remembered that the presence only made itself known when he was alone.

He chided himself. Was he really about to put himself in danger for the sake of his curiosity?

This is stupid. He was a Jedi. If anything came at him, he was more than certain that he could win in a fight.

While he thought, his feet took him down the back streets, towards a part of town that he knew would have no one in it at this time of night. He got there, found an open alleyway and walked in. And he waited.

He felt the presence, but couldn’t see anyone. Of course. He’d never seen the source of the presence, so it was unlikely that they would simply reveal themselves immediately.

He grit his teeth and gathered up his courage.

“Come out. I know you’re there.” he said, trying to hide the slight shake in his voice.

There was no answer. Until there was.

“You’re calling for me? What a surprise.” said an elegant, icy voice.

Maul spun around, and his hearts dropped in his chest. He recognized the face that appeared before him immediately.

Ten years ago on Naboo, his master was killed by none other than the man before him. He was older now, had grown out a beard and his hair, but otherwise looked exactly the same. His yellow eyes glowed faintly in the darkness, silhouette outlined by the multicolored lights around him. Maul didn’t know his name, but he did know him, and always would. It was impossible to forget the one who stole your loved ones.

Despite this, he radiated the exact same presence. That same Force signature he felt when he was alone in the Jedi Temple in the middle of the night. Now, instead of it being a background hum, it wrapped around his mind and threatened to crush him with its force.

Somehow, it was still comforting.

“You…” Maul started.

The man interrupted.

“Don’t you know it’s dangerous to walk alone at night? You could get hurt.” he said with an outpouring of protective affection, and walked closer.

Maul instinctively backed away, towards an alley.

“Why? But you- I killed you. I thought-”

His eyes darted to the man’s right arm and leg. They were advanced prosthetics now, but made almost no noise as he strode forward. Maul had cut those off. He remembered pushing this man down the reactor shaft, so why was he alive? Why was he here?

Maul made a soft grunt when he turned and his back hit the wall. The man came closer to him, and leaned over; their height difference becoming apparent.

“Your questions have easy answers.” he said, though Maul had asked no questions. It was like he knew what he was thinking.

He opened his prosthetic hand, and took Maul’s hand in it; a gesture of reverence.

Maul flinched at how cold the metal was, but did not pull away.

“The simple answer is that you killed me, and I came back.” he said, lacing his fingers with Maul’s. “I’ve been obsessed with you ever since you cut me down on Naboo. You’re the only person who has ever defeated me, undone me. I should hate you for it, but instead I find you… fascinating.”

Maul swallowed thickly, his hearts pounding in his chest. He’d never had anyone be interested in him before, not to this degree. It was intoxicating, and it drew him closer.

His mouth moved, looking for words to say. They came out jumbled and choppy.

“So all this time. When I was alone, and I was sad, and I felt a presence. That- that was you?” 

The man raised his prosthetic arm, and pinned Maul’s arm against the wall.

Without thinking, Maul wrapped his fingers around the metallic ones, to ground himself.

The man leaned closer, his warm breath brushing Maul’s lips.

“Does that disturb you, my dear?”

Maul stared up into glowing, yellow eyes. It was very strange. Though this whole situation should scare him, Maul found himself incredibly calmed, almost hypnotized by the man in front of him. He didn’t want him to go.

“No.” he replied, and meant it.

“I’m glad.”

Before he knew it, Maul was kissing him. He lost himself in the moment of finally coming face-to-face with the presence that, in some way, kept him sane for the past few years.

But, when the man pulled away, Maul looked at his face again and remembered who he was looking at. This was his master’s murderer. And yet despite himself, he couldn’t pull away.

“This… this is wrong.” he said, his sense finally coming back to him.

He shouldn’t feel safe around this man. He should run. He should pull out his lightsaber and finish the job he started years ago. So why? Why didn’t he pull away?

“Is it, now?” he replied, conversationally.

“Of course it is. You killed my master. I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t be doing this.” he said.

I shouldn’t want this. He thought.

“And yet, here you are.” he said, with a light chuckle. His breath tickled, and his beard brushed against his cheek.

Maul found himself kissing him again. One hand was pinned to the wall, but the other grabbed at the bow on his back, pushing him closer. Force, what was wrong with him?

The kiss ended too soon. His master’s murderer pushed away from him, ever so gently, and looked into his eyes.

“Come away with me, Maul. I could teach you so much.”

Maul swallowed and nodded his head.

At this point, it wasn’t even a question.

He took his hand, and pushed down his own self-loathing for saying ‘yes.’

[kookygobbledygook]

On the day of David Lynch's passing I want to reccount my most Lynchian experience. Partly because all the smart people are already saying all the smart good words about him, but mostly because I think he'd get a kick out of it.

I work in disability and I used to work in a group home for disabled people. Let me say off the bat that the disability aspect was NOT AT ALL the Lynch-like part of the story.

There was a man living in this house who we'll call Johnny Hill. Johnny Hill loved music, playing with water, wooden spoons and hiding things under his bed as a joke. He was also autistic and legally blind.

Because he was legally blind, his parents gave him two things that were crucial to this story; a cuckoo clock, so he could hear the time change, and The World's Worst Toy called Clarence the Clown. You know those stackable rings that are on a pole. It was like that but with the facial features of a clown. I was worried about finding the words to express how horrifying this toy is but I've shockingly found a video.

This was Johnny Hill's favourite toy; the clown with the tear-away face.

So here is what happened from Johnny Hill's point of view; He wakes up in the middle of the night. He can't tell it's the middle of the night, being blind and everything. He gets up, sits in the armchair in the corner of his room, and starts playing with a toy. I come in and weirdly snap at the poor guy to "go to bed!" He does and goes back to sleep.

Got it? Literally nothing creepy happened and I need you all to understand that.

So here's my point of view:

I knew I had about two or three night shift coming up, and in this particular house you had to be awake the whole night in case of emergencies. It was always a struggle but I had recently began experimenting with a new technique. The night before a run ofnight shifts, I'd stay up until around three o'clock. The idea was that by staying up I'd sleep in later the next day and then on my night shift I could push through the whole night without being to exhausted. It didn't end up working, but it was worth a shot.

So how did I plan to stay up until 3 the night before?

I thought of a great plan.

I'd finish off Twin Peaks.

This was not a good idea.

Because that meant the next night at around two o'clock in the morning I was awake, by myself, in the group home, with Laura Palmer's backwards screams still echoing through my psyche.

And while I may have been okay stay in the brightly lit office (which was actually a corner of a kitchen) I had a job to do. What job? Sneaking quietly through the house and checking on all the people living there every hour, to make sure they were asleep, not having a seizure etc.

So coming up to three o'clock, I gather all my courage and make my checks, terrified that I'll see this at the foot of one of the guys' beds

Johnny Hill was on the opposite end of the house he was last. Naturally, I didn't want to wake him if he was asleep so I crept into his room to check, eyes straining to see in the dark.

Only to find his bed empty.

Suddenly I hear a noise that sounds like circus music coming behind me. I span around to see a figure sitting in the dark, pulling apart a laughing mechanical clown heads, just as the cuckoo clock went off in the background.

It's the only time in my life I was too scared to scream. Which was lucky because I would have woken the entire house.

It took me at least thirty seconds of pants-shitting panic to realise the man in the chair was Johnny Hill.

I'll admit I was less than chill when I said "Johnny Hill! Back to bed!"

It's very funny in retrospect.

David Lynch talked a lot about fate. I don't believe in fate the same way he seemed to. But I am prepared to admit this; a lot of really fucked up coincidences had to aline for me to experience one of the most surreal and petrifying moments of my life the day after I finished the original run of twin peaks.

There is no real point to this post. Other than I'm going to miss that delightful weirdo that once, though the power of his art, almost gave me a stroke at work.

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

i saw “Jiang Yanli is a well-written character actually” and i had to follow you

Thank you very much! I do very much think she's a character people give very little credit to in the fandom – I did actually start writing a meta on this last year, and because I'm not sure when I'll finish it*, I'll post an excerpt here:

She’s a much deeper character than people give her credit for, and part of that stems from just how coherent her traits are with her background. And I feel bad for her, because she’s so much more well-written than people give her credit for. And more than that, she’s just so very human. She’s like Lan Xichen in a lot of ways (and the way that the fandom treats them is very similar, too). They’re both sheltered and naive, and often wilfully so, but ultimately want the best for the people they consider family. The only problem is that they’re not willing to confront their worldview to do that until it’s too late – they want the world to be like the comfort of how they think they is, and ignore the signs that point to something else. And that’s a very understandable! It takes a lot of courage to confront your worldview and replace it with a truth that’s worse, and not very many people have the courage to willingly do that – and that makes them flawed and perhaps complacent, but not evil in any way.  And the best part about this in Jiang Yanli is that it makes perfect sense with the way she was brought up.  She was sheltered pretty much all the time in her early life – she doesn’t go to Gusu to study, she doesn’t go to the Wen indoctrination camp, she doesn’t really experience anything that broadens her horizons and perspective and forces her to face and confront the harshness of the world. Even when Lotus Pier falls, she doesn’t experience it first-hand – which may hurt just as much, but yet again she doesn’t have to physically confront the Wen clan’s tyranny. She’s not brought up as a cultivator who goes out to face danger and fight foes and inevitably experience the harshness of the world, she’s brought up as somebody from a wealthy clan whose role is to marry for political gain into another wealthy family, where she’ll presumably be sheltered all her life, too.  By that time the Fall of Lotus Pier happens, and everything else after that, she’s grown up and her mind isn’t as susceptible to being shaped by new experiences – her view of what the world is and how she thinks it is is already instilled into her, and much, much harder to change. And she wants nothing more to hold onto that world – she doesn’t want to venture out of her comfort zone or confront truths that may be painful. We see that all the time in her actions. During the Sunshot Campaign, during a war, what does she focus on? Her familiar childhood crush on Jin ZiXuan, and by extension the familiar life that was planned out for her; and her ability to make soup, something she made all the time at Lotus Pier for her family there. When Wei Wuxian is protecting the Wen remnants, what does she cling onto? The idea that nothing’s wrong, that he and her and Jiang Cheng can still be a happy family because that’s how it’s always been to her, even if that was never really the case, and even if it’s impossible; her soup, again, and it’s not just because she likes making the soup, it’s again symbolic of their childhood days in Yunmeng. During the gathering at Nightless City, why does she go? To see her brother one last time.  I think that that aspect of her also stems from the volatility of Lotus Pier – she wants things to be predictable, to be safe, she wants to be in control of her grasp over the situation. That’s why she de-escalates conflict the way she does, that��s why she stays ignorant to the more sinister parts of the world. She wants things to stay how she knows them to be. She does try to distract people from conflict rather than resolving it, which can do more harm than help, but it makes sense with her character – she grew up in the incredibly volatile Lotus Pier, with her parents arguing all the time, and of course that affects her! Of course she wants to avoid that! And she takes after the only example she has of someone trying to de-escalate conflict, Jiang Fengmian, who does the same thing. (September 2022)

*I'm saying this because 1) I know I've been very inactive lately, which is because currently my hyperfixations are on other fandoms (they always cycle back around, but it can take a while) so it's harder to make myself write content here; and 2) because I haven't read MDZS in a while so don't want to write using only use information from my memory without canon sources, and risk misinterpreting something or giving a reading that doesn't fit with the source material. I do plan to read it again, but I'm not confident in how accurate I can be right now, and I definitely don't want to spread misinformation. Even the excerpt above doesn't have evidence ie quotes, which I'd quite like to back up the claims I make. But yes, thank you very much for the ask!

[phychohex]

I Met a Vampire Down in Santa Carla (chapter two)

Sitting down watching as Josh and Will search for a prop they lost in the water. Right now we are larping something we only did once a month cause they take so long. So far we have come to the beach and introduced my character. I play a high elf named Ismeth. Kayla sits next to us as we are currently out of game. "god can't believe those idiots actually put it in the water" she groans. She played teilfling rouge. She is currently in full get-up. I only had the ears on and a normal outfit that fit into my stepdad's stupid regulations. "should we help"

"you can" I huff she looks at me and laughs.

"no way are you still scared" Scared was a huge understatement. I had an insane phobia of the water but for all the right reasons. My dad had died in the ocean, I was there. Even though I went through years of intense therapy at a young age I never got over it. "how can a siren be scared of the ocean" she jokes and I shake my head. "I'm just fucking with you. I don't blame you, but you never really told me though what happened." She wasn't wrong even though we were the closest any two people could be I never could retell the story of that day. It always hurts too much. It doesn't help I was only five and what I do remember was through the eyes of a young child. I used to say a monster killed my dad and as far as I know that was true. The ocean is a monster.

A shriek of joy turns our attention back to Will. "found it" he exclaims and puts the game back on. We go over and look at a ceramic box with carving on it. Lilly holds it and flips through her book being a very powerful sossocer.

"I cast magic detection" hovering her hand over the box as Josh plays the role as Game master.

"Thy treasures may only be shown to one of true heart and courage. For if thou fail a deadly curse shall be cast down" We look at each other not sure what to do. Look at our barbarian who was played by Alex. He steps back shaking his head.

"you've fought a whole village of orcs come on" Kayla groans "That's pretty courageous"

"Who said I was scared to fight them"

"What are you talking about that has nothing to do with it" she snaps they always did this back and forth but that is only because their characters had been partners under odd circumstances. In reality, they got along very well.

"That defies the definition of courage" Lilly points out "Courage is shown when doing something even though it scares you"

"How is fighting a horde of orcs not terrifying tho" I ask

"I'm half" he shrugs. "besides it doesn't say a past act we have to do one now to prove to the box, so one of us should touch it that would be courageous"

"then do it" Kayla scuffs

"can't" he smiles "A tiny box doesn't scare the Mighty Throx" he boasts. "why not you?" she rolls her eyes.

"Have you not met me I'm anything but pure-hearted" Now lost with what to do. I go over to the water my heart racing.

"I will do it" I start not much of my character was known but this could be a good way to give a background. "my village was once attacked by a beast known as the Farquill. Many parished and my home was never the same yet somewhere out there the beast lay waiting to finish the job" I take a deep breath "I fear that if I ever step foot in the cold waters it will know" I let the water hit my feet before a loud crash. I turn to see Will smash the ceramic box on the ground.

"Juese dude" Josh snaps "trying to take someone out" I quickly step away "I also didn't want her to do that, you didn't have to do that Rory" he gave an apologetic look "But it worked." I go over and grab the scroll. it is a map. "that's it for today anyways um I guess we clean this up" I look at the time.

"shit" I start gathering my stuff.

"what" Lilly looks over "You okay"

"yeah, I'm going to be late I got to go" We all share our goodbyes and I drive to the tattoo shop. I enter with a ding of the bell going to the front desk waiting for Oscar. Instead, I'm greeted by a tall guy with short hair covered in tattoos sporting a goatee.

"How may I help you" he leans in smiling.

"I'm looking for Oscar" he turns and calls him.

Entering with that golly grin plastered on his face "Rory there you are Will told me you were on the way come on I'll show you where you can set up." I head back and the guy turns looking very displeased. I go back to; the shop being very high-end if I may say so. Each artist had a room to themselves. The room had all the stuff I needed. The chair for the client, a rolling stool, the drawers for all the supplies. "so you set up with all your stuff decorate as you like the shared supplies are down at the end of the hall." He smiles. The room was that of a small bedroom about 10x10. I go out to my car minding my own business noticing Oscar talking with the guy from before. I start loading my stuff in and making the room my own.

The tattoo gun I have is bright pink along with the gloves I use. I put a fluffy pink stool cover on making the place feel more like my own. I hang up some of my work all with a Pink wooden frame. The bride of Frankinsitne and Frankenstine both had rounded frames; putting them side by side facing each other. The other framed photo was a fairy with phycodelic cloud puff sitting on a mushroom smoking a hooka. Having to go get the shared shit from the storage room I leave making my way down the hall. I notice the man who greeted me glaring. Oscar comes out of his office offering to help.

"by the way this is Tyler he will be working night shift with you. It will be just you too at night." I hold out my hand and give him a handshake. "let me go get a box for you" Oscar walks off leaving me alone with tyler who didn't seem to thrilled to have me here. I could care less I wasn't here to be buddy buddy with people anyway. While it would be nice to be friends he didn't seem the type of person I'd be friends with. I'm here to do my thing and get paid that's all.

"can't believe I have a chick working with me" he huffs "When he said I was finally getting permanent help at night I didn't think he set me up with a newbie" Before more could be said under his breath Oscar came back showing me the supplies room.

"Is he always like that" I question. Oscar seemed all too clear knowing what I meant.

"just ignore him. All bark no bite, he has had some trouble with coworkers in general but he is damn good that's why I keep him. If you have any problem just let me know" reassuring me that I'd be okay and gathering what I needed before heading back to my area. It was quiet for the most part until some big dude with lots of tattoos covering his arms came in.

"oi, Rory right?" Tyler calls me over "I'll make a bet with you," intreged I walk over. "I want to see what you got. Round here respect is earned so whoever design he chooses wins bragging rights and gets to buy dinner on break deal" Feeling ballsy and a sense to prove myself I shake on it before going over. "how may I help you Tony" Apparently this was a recurring client knowing I might've made a bad decision.

"Sup, I'm looking to get a spider with an eye for the body. Just wanted to fill in some of the gaps" taking what he wanted and rushing off to start drawing what he wanted having a couple of ideas. I drew a normal spider and modified it by making the body like he wanted but it turned out kinda cartoony. Trying again to make it more photorealistic with the pupil being the hourglass-like a black widow. After about thirty minutes I go to see if Tyler was done and he was still working on the idea. He was good, so good it made me a bit nervous. He had the tarantula with the pattern being an eye it was realistic as well and in color. If it was my tattoo I'd probably choose him it would blend in and not be so obvious either. We go over Tony was impressed. "damn that's sick" he chuckles "I like this one" he fucking pointed to mine "Can it be in color" he asks "Thinking the eye can be red" I nod surprised he actually choose mine. The way I went about the design was a bit cartoony while Tyler's was more like something you'd see. Proud of myself we discuss everything.

I take him back and start setting up my station and doing the placement. After positioning it about twice I was ready. "would you like music or we can talk" I offer.

"music's fine" he smiles "What you got"

"not much sadly It's my first day in this shop so I haven't got the room completely decked out I can turn on a station if you'd like" I offer playing with the station till it is what he prefured. I get started my mind hyperfocused on what I was doing. I was finally in my zone. My mind was at ease nothing could stop my flow. I loved when clients wanted music, while I don't mind talking I'd much rather just vibe. I move on to the coloring after what felt like only thirty minutes even though I doubt it was. I felt thirsty leaning up and stopping the clock.

"is everything ok" The concern in his voice was a bit startling.

"yeah I just need something to drink real quick" I smile.

"you pay by hour no?"

"I do that's why I stopped the clock, I charge for the work I do not for taking breaks. Can I get you anything while I'm up?"

"Could I get some water too if you don't mind" I nod and go to get our drinks I glance at the time it has been almost two hours. fifty bucks. I was nowhere near done maybe another two to go. I come back refreshed and let him sit and relax some before resterilizing and going back to work this time no music.

"so where did you work before this"

"I worked in a shop called Vixxin it was in New Mexico"

"you from there"

"no I just moved back" I smile. "so when did you start your collage" I joke

"When I was bout your age I think. I was fucking around with some friends and got a stick and poke after a few of those I got addicted." we start talking about the addiction tattoo and how some had meanings. He was a war vet and had a big eagle on his bicep. Having served in Vietnam he moved to Santa Carla afterwards. The war changed him having seen such horrible things made him want to help those. Like the victims he saw in the war the civilians who just happened to be in the way of fire. He is currently a firefighter and has a kid on the way.

Wrapping things up and heading to the front his total wasn't bad. I did great; being really proud of my work. "I hope you enjoy and congratulations on the kiddo" I smile

"thanks and you know this was one of the best services I've gotten can I tip." Not sure if it was allowed I called for Oscar who still happened to be here.

"how can I help" He smiles

"Can we accept a tip ?"

"Yeah," I'm handed twenty-five which was a pleasant surprise. Having a happy customer made my night that much better. "well shit look at that keep up the good work." Oscar pats my back "I'm going to get going here in a bit"

"do you want me to just put it in a jar in the front?" I ask not sure of the rules on tips.

"Nah that's yours I believe if you earn it it's yours. My wife used to be a waitress and came home always mad about how she had to split her hard-earned money with people who sat around. So that's yours be proud." I go back to my room cleaning up again when I hear the ding. I go to see a woman waiting.

"How may I help you" I smile. The rest of the night was easy I had one other quick tattoo customer and did a few pricings. I started my reservations and appointments for clients. When break rolled around Tyler ordered a pizza and ignored me for the rest of the night pissy that I won the bet which was the icing on top. While sweeping up the floors and going around to start closing up shop Tyler comes out.

"you did good," He mutters still butt hurt.

"thank you" I smile "I got it from here if you want to go" I offer trying to be on a more friendly term with him.

"No it's fine you go I got it" he starts towards the back.

"Are you sure" I look at him and he nods I finish what I am doing before grabbing my things and heading out. The boardwalk was slowly closing the only places still open being a twenty-four hour convenience store as well as a few bars that didn't close till five. I get in my car and drive over to the store to get a snack and a drink. As I am checking out I hear the loud engines of bikes outside. I glance over to meet the blue eyes of the man from a few nights ago. Being almost entranced by them.

"is that all" the teenager working the counter asks with a bratty attitude. I look over nodding handing her the money before making my way out. They just sat there getting gas and all loudly talking. Having noticed me staring he leans forward against the handles nodding his head up eyebrows doing the same smirking. I quickly look away before getting in my car and heading home. I unlock the front door and enter not expecting Steve to be waiting nearly scaring the wits out of me.

"oh my god," I jump dropping my bag. I groan and pick my stuff up ready for the earful of whatever bullshit was about to spew out of his mouth.

"where were you" he questions "It's almost four in the morning"

"I was at work" I move past him "I told you I got it why are you surprised" Setting my things down on the counter I try to ignore him.

"you said you get off at three" he snaps

"I needed gas" opening the fridge to put my things away which was quickly slammed shut in my face.

"you will look at me when I am talking to you" He yells. "how do you expect to get shit done if you are out all night"

"what do you mean" I snap back.

"We agreed you'd help did we not"

"yes, I have a job though so I can pay you rent if you want and I will buy my food didn't Mom tell you"

"she did but that isn't any of her business this is my house Rory" he yells "So this is what will happen you will give me half of every paycheck." he smiles thinking he did something.

"Okay," I shrug.

Not getting the reaction he wanted he grits his teeth hissing under his breath"Well how much do you make then"

"a month" I get out a paper to go some quick math. "bout 4,500" I look over his eyes wide.

"bullshit" he snaps throwing whatever was close causing me to jump. "what do you really make" I shake my head handing him the paper. "there is no fucking way you make that much"

"on a good month yeah I would" I nod backing up not sure what he wanted me to say. "I do okay for myself, I don't get why you are so mad"

"Because I won't tolerate lying" he yells. My mom walked in just as confused as I was. "so how much" his face slowly turning red with rage. "an hour how much"

"twenty-five minus like 20%"

"Bullshit" He yells realizing his ego was hurt. He didn't want to believe I made so much. Even though it felt good to know I bruised his elated ego it was fucking terrifying.

"Fifteen" I blurt out saying the lowest but most believable number I could think of.

"there see why didn't you just say that hmm." smiling satisfied "No need to lie to me Rory, now I should expect about thirteen hundred right?" he asks and I nod not being able to move. It was like every muscle in my body was so tense that if you pointed a gun at me I wouldn't be able to move. The terror that filled me was too intense. He fixes himself to hide the rage fit he just had. "now I need to get going I love you both" He goes over to my mom kissing her head. "I'll be home later" before leaving. My eyes were wide as I looked over at my mom who was just as frozen as I was. What the fuck was that. I've never seen him act like that the whole time I've known him. Sure he was a horrible person but the shift of emotion was baffling. If he got mad it would take a long time for him to cool down we would hear about it all day but just smile say I love you then walk off. That was horrifying it's like a psychopath was just yelling at me. I go over to the broken object that he threw to clean. Mom springing in action as well. While cleaning up trying to help her with housework both of us kept quiet.

"what time did you get home" she asks while I help her with the dishes.

"like four" I mutter. She nods and glances over.

"don't you have work tonight" I nod "Honey go get some rest it's almost noon" I look at her. "don't worry I won't tell. As long as you are working he doesn't have to know that I do the housework by myself you are doing your part."

"I wasn't lying," I tell her my voice meek.

"I know, I'm proud of you. Doing what you love and doing so well. Jokes on him in the end though." she chuckles I look over her smile real not like when I first saw her when I got here. That's how she made it. Every time he got things wrong or showed his ass in front of people it filled her with the same sick joy of finally someone sees him for the bastard he is and how he isn't as tough as he seems, so fragile. Even though that fear plagued the back of her mind the fear that made it to where she would feel this joy in private. I knew this feeling too well the only hope for her was if she did what I did. She didn't have the resources though. No family to run back to. I won't leave no matter if it is worse than it was. I will stay and never leave her alone like I did again, if I do leave it will be with her going with me I vow that.

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

I wanna see you write if reader gets hurt by Eddie when they told him their feelings for him and he says no

THERE IS NO FLUFF OR HAPPY ENDING IN THIS

You meet Eddie during your science class in your sophomore (his junior) year. The two of you were lab partners. Eddie was the outsider, the devil worshiper, but to you, he was the cutest guy in school.

You were the nobody in school. All you did was go day by day hiding in the background and getting lost between the bodies in the crowded hallways. No one had ever noticed you and you were okay with that, but you felt like Eddie noticed you.

Since you disappear in the halls, no one ever notices that you have the ability to hear their conversations. Later in the day, you were trying to get to your locker when you overheard Eddie talking to one of his friends. "Yeah man, I don't know she's just so pretty. I never noticed until we did that project together. I'm thinking of making a move soon."

Internally you squeal! He has to be talking about me! You thought to yourself since the two of you just finished your life of a cell project together. As you were gathering your stuff for the end of the day you start planning an extra cute outfit for the next school day with new confidence after hearing his confession you decide that if he didn't make a move you were going to.

The next day you were dressed up slightly and had a newfound confidence. You felt pretty and you were ready to make your move. You walk into science a few minutes after the bell and Eddie was already sitting there with his notebook out. Eddie doesn't notice that you walk in, too busy doodling, but he does notice the football player behind him gasp slightly and make a comment about some girl's body. Eddie groans in disgust thinking of how dumb football players are as he looks up. He was shocked to see you in tighter jeans and a tighter, shorter shirt. Usually, you're in comfy clothes so this makes his eyes widen. You notice the change in expression and you take it as a good sign.

You sit next to him and as the lesson starts he notices that your leg is touching his much more than usual. He cringes slightly and tries to move over without you noticing. Thankfully it doesn't seem like you notice.

The bell rings and Eddie is one of the first to pack up and try to leave the classroom. As he goes to escape into the hallway you stop him gently. "Hey Eddie can I talk to you?" Hearing your voice he stops and turns around thinking you want to plan a day to work on the next assignment. "What's up?"

You take a deep breath and gather the courage to tell him. "Eddie I really like you. I was wondering if you would want to go out this weekend?"

Eddie pauses and that makes you nervous. What feels like hours pass before he speaks again. "Oh...oh God I'm so sorry. I'm not into you like that. I actually have a date with Chrissy this weekend."

Eddie watches you as your heart drops and the color drains from your face. "Oh...okay. No big deal. Have fun this weekend" You say in a rush as you speed past him. He turns around to try and do damage control but as he turns he notices that you just disappeared into the crowded hallway once again.

So, you did the only thing you could think of. You ran and honestly, you were struggling to try to hold it together until the bathroom stall doors finally closed after you. The sobs wracked your body, causing you to double over. You were experiencing a pain that you have never felt before you swore that your heart is completely shattered. The tears came out endlessly, streaming down your face, smearing your carefully applied mascara, and leaving your face a complete mess. Of course, he didn't actually like you, why would he? You weren't a beautiful cheerleader or the most brilliant girl in the class. You were nowhere remotely cool. A wave of self-doubt and despair wash over you. Like nothing about you was good enough, nothing was beautiful anymore and the outfit you were wearing is burning your skin with embarrassment. You changed yourself for a guy and you're shocked people didn't just point and laugh in your face.

Your mind started to squirrel wondering how anyone could ever love you. How you could even let yourself imagine for a split second that ~he~ could ever love you. Sobs turned into gasps for air as you struggled to breathe through the pain. That primal and vulnerable need to disappear took over you. You should run away and never come back. That would be easier than facing this embarrassment and shame. Just to hide somewhere and not feel this feeling that has deepened itself in your soul. But there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. You've leaned your head against the stall door, letting out a deep sigh. Eventually, you had to go back out there and face the world, but for now, you've just wanted to stay in the bathroom and cry.

You hear the footsteps of the high school population echo through your ears. Once the bell rings you count to fifteen in your head and wait until you stop hearing those footsteps. Once it goes quiet you sit yourself up straight and take a deep ragged breath in and out before getting the courage to leave the bathroom and walk into the, now, empty hall. You sling your bag over your shoulder as you race out of the building hoping on everything you have that no one recognizes or spots you trying to escape.

No one seems to notice and if they did, well then no one cared and the more you think about it the more that seems more likely. You just had this deep need to escape and hide forever. "I never want to see Edward Munson again," You say angrily as you wipe away the endless stream of tears and right there you decide you were done with him forever.

This was hard. IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU ARE AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU ALL AND I'M SORRY THERE WAS NO FLUFF

If you somehow enjoyed this (Are you okay?!?! Who hurt you baby?) please still reblog it really means the world to me

I had some help with this one thank you so much @kokoshka67 if you didn't help idk if I would've finished this lol

Tagging: @b-ritney @tiannasfanfic @eiightysixbaby @zestychili @thefreak0fhawkinshigh

[raibebe]

Love Is On Air

Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk

A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective​. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin​, @moonctzeny​, @lenaluvs​, @lucas-wongs​, @burtonized​ and to @ncteaxhoe​ who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.

“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.

“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”

While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.

“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”

“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”

Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.

“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail JohnJaeNNN@NCTU.com to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.

Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.

Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.

“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.

Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.

And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”

The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.

“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”

While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.

From: Johnny Are you watching our show?

To: Johnny Sure, you look good today

From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)

“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”

“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.

That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.

With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.

Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.

“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.

When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.

“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.

“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”

Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”

Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.

“Move,” you demanded after a while.   “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.

“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.

“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.

For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.

“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.

“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

[hanjizung]

♡ He's Got It. ♡

Changbin x Reader.

Word Count: 1.2k

♡ Warnings ♡: smut, nipple play, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, overstimulation.

A/n: just a lil something i had in my drafts. hope u enjoy!

The day before felt eternal. It had started as just another movie night with Changbin, you brought some takeout, he proposed a movie marathon and then while eating and letting the movies play in the background, a conversation about how the two of you had been since you last saw each other started, nothing out of the ordinary.

Everything was going good, until he asked you about one of the hook ups you had told him about through your texts and after a sip of his beer he gathered the courage to ask you if he had been the reason why you had to cancel the last movie night. You nodded, your lips tight shut in a thin line as you looked somewhere else with blushing cheeks.

“But I must admit that the sex was incredible. I’m gonna miss him” you sighed, eating another spoon of the delicious warm food.

Changbin couldn’t resist the urge and muttered under his breath “you’re not gonna miss him, you’ll miss his dick”, resulting in you choking when you realized what he had just said, glancing at him through the corner of your eye in a menacing way, making him shrug with a playful smirk on his face, but opting not to say anything about it.

Some minutes after finishing your dinner and staying in silence, Changbin suddenly said “I’m sure I could fuck you better than he did” out of nowhere, confusing you.

You froze, but looked at him. He appeared to be a little mad, which only confused you more. What could he possibly be mad about? You two had been friends for a long time now, since your second year of highschool when you were forced to work together, and became inseparable after that time.

You knew he was handsome, he started going to the gym just when you started college, so he had more muscles and his arms were… thicker than before, and not to add that he never failed to follow the skincare routine you had told him about, so his skin was perfect, his lips were so full and they always looked so pillowy... and besides that, his personality was amazing. It all made you realize that maybe you had a crush on him.

A crush that you thought was impossible to get over with, because no matter how much you tried to forget about him by dating, kissing and fucking around with other men, none of them were him.

You wanted your best friend, you wanted to kiss him, hold him, to physically be with him…

Changbin was well known by girls. He was a party boy, after all. You’ve had plenty of girls trying to get close to you, because they also wanted to get close to him. They weren’t dumb, obviously, because since the rumour of how good he worked on his partners started spreading, everyone started going crazy over him.

You had no clue if he had heard about it, but since the moment that rumour reached your eyes, you kind of were dying of curiosity to know if it was true or just him lying to his friends so he had the image of a sex god.

Either way, your crush only helped the sexual tension between the two of you.

It was noticeable when he got closer to you and you moved because of the effect he had on you, when he licked his lips after drinking from his beer, or when his shirts seemed to get tighter around his chest and arms… It drove you fucking crazy, but you had to stay strong and not give in to your desires and throw yourself at him, no. You wanted to still be friends with him, you didn’t know what could possibly happen if you were to have sex with him, and you didn’t want to find out. It was a friendship too beautiful to ruin it for just a quick fuck.

“I'm pretty sure Hyunjin would argue with you if he heard you,” you said, crossing your legs and rolling your eyes, trying to be as convincing as you could to show that you didn’t care what he was saying. He simply chuckled next to you.

“How about I fuck you, and then you decide who’s better, hmm? What do you think?” he asked. You stared at him; one of his arms resting on the back of the couch, his legs spread and his hand holding his beer. You hated him, you hated how he looked so attractive just sitting there, doing nothing.

“You think you can do better than him? Alright, I’ll be the judge,” you replied. Those were the words that doomed you, and now you were there, trapped under him in the couch of his living room, panties wet as your fantasy of being kissed by the one and only Seo Changbin finally came to life. He had his lips on you, his hands on your breast under your shirt made him smirk in the kiss when he felt your hardened nipple and he wasted no time, pinching you and drawing a muffled moan from you at the sudden sensation.

He removed his fingers from your nipple. tugging at your shirt to try and hurriedly take it off so he could see your boobs and when he finally succeeded in his mission, he stared at your nakedness, his throat suddenly dry and with the need to lick his bruised lips. You would’ve never expected to see Changbin like this, the way his eyes absorbed your form… His hard cock made it known to you that he also wanted this, and you wished that you weren’t the only one imagining each other when you fucked with other people.

“Are you going to fuck me, or what?” you asked, breathing heavy and voice hoarse. He winked at you instead of answering, his hands going to unzip his pants and free his cock from his underwear. Without doubt, he was probably also waiting for this, the precum on his cock exposing his hornyness.

After undoing your own jeans as well, you nodded to let him know that you were more than ready and as soon as he could, he pressed himself at your entrance and slowly penetrated you, sighing in satisfaction when he felt how your warm walls embraced him. You moaned too when he was fully inside, that delicious first stretch made you feel full. It was incredible, that much you could say.

He thrusted, starting with a slow pace and focusing on your chest after. The combination of both him inside you and his tongue and hand playing with your nipples had your mind feeling like a hurricane was inside. Sure, other partners had done that for you but they focused on either fucking you, or playfully biting your buds. Somehow, Changbin was making it work and had you rolling your eyes blank in pure satisfaction, making you sing out moans like a morning bird after the sun came out. He changed, from one nipple to the other and also not forgetting to roll his hips to the deepest spot he could get inside you.

You were loving every second of this, enjoying yourself too much that during your incoherent babbling you tried to warn him that you were close, only to come around him while pulling his hair and chant his name along with ‘you’re amazing, fuck, fuck fuck…’ followed a moment later by him coming inside you with a growl. When he finished, he looked at you with that proud smirk you hated so much.

“I’m glad that you agreed with me, I fucked you better than how Hyunjin or anyone could ever fuck you."

[nerdyfangirl67]

With a Little Help From the Team - NCIS Reader Insert

Pairing: Tim McGee x fem!reader, Gibbs x daughter!reader (brief/vague)

Word count: 2717

Warnings: this was a pretty fluffy piece! (not gonna lie), mild language, reader is Gibbs’ daughter

Request: @ncisfan​ “Hello! I saw your post from this morning saying you didn’t have any requests for ncis at the moment and I wanted to make a request. If for some reason you don’t want to write it that’s okay but here’s my prompt,(Idk what to call it) The reader and McGee have been dating for years and McGee has to tell the whole team (Tony, McGee, Bishop, Gibbs. That team please!) including her dad (Gibbs, cause why not?) when he wants to propose. You can decide on if they say yes or no but I hope you’ll write it. Sorry if I’m overwhelming you I just wanted to make a request”

A/N: I know I’ve told you this @ncisfan​ , but I absolutely love this idea! And a McGee x reader? Yes please! I did put this in both McGee’s and the reader’s point of view and changed it up a bit. (Yeah, I got super involved in this one and it got longer than I thought…and took far longer than I thought) I hope you enjoy it darling!!

Tim stands in the bullpen, nervously trying to find the right words to tell the team about you, the team of which just so happened to include the one man capable of making him feel like a young schoolboy still wet behind the ears, especially since that one man had a lot to do with what Tim was about to say.

Tim takes a deep breath to gather his last bit of courage and confidence, which promptly fades away the moment he starts talking.

“I uh…well you know that I’ve been seeing, no dating…dating Y/N.” Tim stutters out as his nerves get the better of him, completely fumbling the carefully planned out speech he had come up with prior to meeting with Gibbs.

Gibbs narrows his steely blue eyes as he wordlessly nods his head, telling Tim to continue.

“Things have been going well, really well actually. And I’ve been wanting to, or meaning to…not that I was putting it off, because I wasn’t. That’s the last thing-”

Gibbs cut him off with a “Spit it out McGee.”

“What I’m asking is for your permission, no..that’s not - I want to propose to her.” He was speaking so fast, his words were nearly running together, his sentences jamming together into one that didn’t make much sense.

Gibbs doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, he continues to stare at Tim, looking for any trace of deception in his face. “Why?” He asks gruffly, startling Tim.

“Wh-why?” Tim squeaks out, an uneasy feeling weighing on his chest as he tries to find the right words to answer a question he hadn’t prepared for.

“Yes, McGee. Why? Why do you want to marry my daughter?” Gibbs pauses, still evaluating Tim and his reaction. “Why should I want you to marry my daughter?”

Tim takes a deep breath, a sudden burst of confidence washing over him as he realizes that the answer to such a question was right in front of him. “Because I love her… honestly, I have for a long time, even before we started dating. And, more than anything, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to spend every day that I have left in this life showing her I love her and cherishing her the way she deserves. I can’t imagine my life without her in it.”

Gibbs surprises him then, with a small smile and a hearty clasp to his shoulder. “Alright then, probie. Now all you have to do is tell her that and of course, ask her to marry you.”

Had it been any other girl, McGee might not be struggling as much to find the words. But you weren’t just any girl. You were not only Gibbs' daughter, something that caused him far more fear than he’d ever admit (he was dating the boss’ daughter after all), but you were also close with the other members of the team, which made this whole ordeal all the more nerve wracking.

You had come to know the members of the team through your job as a technical analyst for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, meaning you spent most of your time hunting down case leads in a cubicle. Then, as you grew better at your job, and closer to Abby (who had had something to do with getting you on Gibbs team, although she’d never admit to it), you had been moved from that cubicle to a desk in Gibbs’ bullpen, unceremoniously joining the team, although not full-time as you still worked with the cyber/tech unit, your father thought so highly of (something he would never admit out loud, even to you).

You eventually became just as close to Abby as your father was, something Abby always attributed to ‘a Gibbs thing’, - “It must be a Gibbs thing because Y/N is just as great as Jethro and we just click.” Many times, if you weren’t working on a case, you could be found hanging out in the lab with Abby.

You and Tony were best friends, spending hours talking about movies and pranking each other. And, despite your “geeky background” of tech analysis, Tony never once teased you (a courtesy Tony had never given him). In fact, he had become something of a big brother to you, filling a role in your life you hadn’t ever thought you’d needed filled.

And then Ziva had joined the team, filling in little by little that hole that had been left after Kate’s death. Even with the high tension existing between Abby and Ziva, you and Ziva had hit it off right away, becoming fast friends. Eventually, despite the perceived oddness of your friendship, you, Abby, and Ziva became an inseparable trio, even occasionally ganging up together against Tony or Gibbs.

Suffice to say, you were important to the team, just as they were to you. And now Tim was faced with telling these people that he not only had been dating you (a relationship the two of you had decided to keep relatively quiet because of your line of work and the fact that you were often times coworkers), but that he was going to ask you to marry him, a proposal of which he was seeking the team’s help with.

“So, uh...I-well, I’ve been seeing, er...dating-” Tim starts, his mind scrambling as he tries to form a coherent sentence.

“McGee, the chickadee is out of the bag. We all know you’re dating Y/N.” Ziva says matter of factly,

“Cat, Ziva, the cat is out of -” Tony starts reflexively, before pausing and turning to Tim and then to Gibbs, his mouth hanging open. “Wait-what? You’re the one Y/N has been dating?” He asks incredulously.

Gibbs takes a step forward, slapping Tony on the back of the head. “Close your mouth DiNozzo.” Tony’s jaw snaps shut at the command.

“Keep talking McGee.” Gibbs says gruffly, his piercing blue eyes settling on Tim.

“I’m going to ask her to marry me.” Tim blurts out.

“We kind of knew that McGee.” Abby states, her lips pulled into a satisfied smirk. “I mean, you haven’t exactly been stealthy about ring shopping. Or buying the ring. Or getting it inscribed.” Abby lists off, earring a few incredulous looks from the other members of the team. “Y/N’s my best friend, okay? I had to make sure the ring was a good one.”

Tony turns to McGee. “McRomeo getting married? Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?” Tony steps forward to give Tim a good-natured shoulder shove. “You like it so you’re putting a ring on it, huh?” He asks with a Cheshire Cat-like grin on his face. Ziva is the one who moves to slap him in the back of the head this time.

“Ow, Ziva. What the hell was that for?” Tony asks, a hand already rubbing the spot Ziva had just smacked on the back of his head.

“When will you ever shut up and let McGee finish?” She questions, giving Tony a pointed glare. He opens his mouth to respond, but a hard look from Gibbs keeps him quiet.

Tim timidly clears his throat before continuing. “I’d like to do it here. And, um...I’d like to do it here, with all of you.” Smiles spread through the group at Tim’s words, several ideas already being blurred out by the more enthusiastic members of the team (it was Abby. Abby was already excitedly sharing ideas with the person sitting next to her, which just so happened to be Gibbs.)

——— You squeeze Tim’s hand before letting go, reaching for the handle to your car door. “See you at work.” You say with a soft smile before turning back towards your car.

“Let’s, um, let’s ride together today, to work I mean.” Tim stammers nervously, a hand on top of your driver’s side door, stopping you from leaving.

“Are you sure? I thought we were trying to keep this, us, quiet.” You ask, stepping away from your car and closer to him. He cups the side of your face with his hand, leaning forward to press a soft, chaste kiss to your lips.

“Just once, okay?” He asks quietly, a sheepish smile on his face.

You let out a small laugh. “Just this one time, alright Agent McGee?” You say with a smile, letting him take your hand and lead you towards his car. He opens the passenger door for you, closing it behind you before getting in the driver’s side. The entire ride into work is marked with Tim either giving you a huge dopey grin or a quick nervous glance, which only serves to make you suspicious, as if the insisting to ride together didn’t already.

Tim pulls into his usual parking spot, shutting off the car before turning to you. “How about we walk in together?” He asks hesitantly, a shy smile accompanying his question.

You quirk an eyebrow up at his question before responding, “Tim, it might make it pretty obvious what’s going on between us if we do that.” “Let’s do it anyway, Y/N.” He reaches over to squeeze your hand before climbing out of the driver’s side of the car and making his way to your side of the car. He opens the passenger door for you, offering you a hand to help you out, which you graciously accept. He continues to hold your hand after you are out of the car and as the two of you walk into the building, only letting go as the two of you go through security.

The two of you are the only ones on the elevator and for the entirety of the short ride, you can almost feel Tim vibrating beside you with some sort of nervous energy. You bring his hand up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to it before murmuring, “You okay?” He gives you a tight nod in response just as the elevator dings, announcing its arrival on your floor of the building.

You press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Have a good day Tim, I love you.” You say, moving towards the open doors of the elevator. Tim reaches a hand out, grasping yours and stopping your exit out of the elevator.

“I, uh, I’ve got to give you something. It’s in my desk drawer, in the...bullpen.” He stammers out, quickly retracting his hand to wipe it against his suit jacket.

“Oh, can I get it at lunch?” You ask, turning back towards the front of the elevator and pressing the button to reopen the doors.

“No.” He shouts, startling you enough that you take a step back away from the sliding doors. “I mean, come with me?”

“What is up with you today Tim?” You demand, his unexplained, unnatural behavior causing your suspicions to rise, a million questions running through your head.

“Just...please.” His voice is thick with emotion, his words coming out barely above a whisper.

You silently nod your head, stepping back into the elevator and allowing the doors to close as you press the button for the floor that the NCIS team resided on. You spare a look over at Tim, whose is rubbing his hands up and down his slacks, his face turned towards the ceiling of the elevator and his lips moving in silent words.

“Tim, what is going on? You’ve been acting weird all morning and I just-” The elevator dings, announcing your arrival on the floor of the bullpen and effectively cutting you off.

Tim puts a hand over the doors, stopping them from closing as he looks at you, his kaleidoscopic eyes pleading with you to understand and to trust him. You give a small nod, taking his outstretched hand in your own and following him to the bullpen.

Right away, you notice the lights over the area of the office you’d come to know as your father’s, as Gibbs’, were off. A flash of fear settles in your chest as you begin to picture all the possible scenarios as to why your father’s part of the office was empty and dark, none of them positive. You start to walk faster, almost pushing past Tim, to get to the bullpen. You suddenly stop short when your eyes fall on Tony’s desk.

Instead of finding your best friend seated at his desk or even finding his desk empty, you see that Tony’s desktop is covered with picture frames. Your curiosity wins out over the rising fear in your chest and you step closer to the desk to inspect the framed photos.

“Oh,” A breath of surprise leaves you as you realize that they were photos of you and of Tim, taken at different times in your relationship. A series of pictures of the two of you from your second date, taken in one of the photo kiosks that you find at the mall. The two of you making goofy faces at each other in the bullpen. You and Tim bent over a computer, faces serious as you both stare at the screen. You turn to Tim’s desk next, finding it filled with vases of flowers in your favorite color.

You move towards them, leaning down to inhale their fragrant scent, your gaze landing on your father’s desk and the photos scattered across the desktop, similar to Tony’s desk, except these were pictures you’d taken of the two of you. One of the pictures from your first trip together, from the date when Tim had told you he loved you, and the first case the two of you had worked on together and a series of selfies you’d taken with Tim at various times; all laid out like a timeline of your relationship.

After a few long moments, you lift your gaze towards Ziva’s desk, curiosity seizing you as you find her desk almost empty. You quickly make your way to the front of the desk, your eyes landing on the single piece of white paper, with only one small paragraph scrawled out in the middle of the page.

Y/N,

I love you and I have something I have wanted to tell you, or rather ask you, for a long time now. I know you’re probably wondering what that question is, so if you’d turn around, I’d like to ask you it.

You slowly turn around, the paper clutched to your chest and your heart racing in your chest as your eyes find Tim’s. He gives you a small, honest smile as he takes a step forward, his hands clasping around yours before he kneels down on one knee in front of you. Your breath catches in your throat as you realize what is happening.

“I’ve loved you for years. First, as a friend, and then as a boyfriend, and now...now I want to love you as your fiance, and eventually as your husband. Would you, Y/N Gibbs, do me the honor of being my wife?” In his hands is a modest red velvet ring box, a platinum band adorned with three small diamonds nestled on the inside of the open box.

A lump forms in your throat and as you try to speak, to say yes, nothing comes out. Instead, you nod your head vigorously and close the distance between the two of you. Tim stands fully just as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in against you. You vaguely register noise in the background, noise you later learn is from the various members of ‘your’ NCIS team, as you feel him kiss your cheek.  

“I love you.” You whisper softly before pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, savoring in the feeling of his lips against yours.

“And I love you.” He gives you a deep kiss in return, leaning in to cup a hand along the back of your neck. After a moment, you pull back enough to smile widely at him, the realization that this man would become your husband, the man that you got to spend the rest of your life with, starts to dawn on you, filling you with elation and excitement, not only for your wedding but for the future you’d had with the man you loved.

Tagging:

@madamsnape921​ @ncisfan​ @thisiscalm-andits-doctor​