#once had a yoga teacher

[thepotentialof2007]

just learned about a book written by a USian yoga instructor for other instructors re. hEDS (Ehlers Danlos Type III)

Yoga for Bendy People by Libby Hinsley, ISBN 9798885041188 [2022]

this is not an endorsement nor a review. this is more by way of being informed when you get your 237891273rd person telling you to “try yoga” after you’ve been strictly, explicitly been forbidden from getting anywhere near yoga classes (as one would typically encounter them in the States.)

a summary here at this random physical therapy site

[goldsbitch]

remember that

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But everyone need assurance that they are still loved sometimes. The first time Lando almost slept on a couch blurb

warning: couple fight, angst

It was bad. This time, it was really fucking bad.

After weeks of snarky comments being swallowed in, the "it's fine" line being burned into Lando's ears almost on a daily basis and growing minutes Y/N had to wait before Lando decided to respond to her texts, shit finally hit the fan.

They hadn't seen each other for two weeks now. Inevitable fight broke out right as he crossed the threshold. Postponed dates and forgotten dinners lined up. They couldn't help themselves and put it all on the table. First it was the fact she didn't smile upon seeing him, then it was a reminder that he promised to bring something from Italy and forgot. It went on and on and on. She sat at the dinning table, while he leaned over at the kitchen counter.

"Lando, sometimes it feels like I'm in a relationship with your assistant and not you! For heaven sake, this week I had to call him, once again, when I could not reach you. Do you know how embarrassing it is?" she half-screamed into her hands.

Lando took a breath so deep an average yoga teacher would be jealous. "How am I suppose to be expected to pick up on a race day. You know that I get super busy and distracted."

"Funny how you never were when we started dating," she murmured bitterly.

He had to turn away, couldn't watch his love giving up on him just because they were not in the honeymoon stage anymore. "Yes, but now I'm winning races! Closer to my dream that I've ever been. It's different now."

"I'm glad I met you back then, because obviously you'd not date me if we met now," she couldn't stop those words that rotted in her coming out.

A beat. Maybe it was time to actually break the rule for once and go to sleep angry, because it was getting out of hand. "You know what, that's probably true and it breaks my heart that once I start doing well, you're suddenly not the supporting girlfriend anymore."

A crushing blow. "Tell me how am I suppose to support you if you don't even answer my phone! We used to talk for hours!

"Maybe understand that I can't!"

"I do! But you can't assume that I'll let you push me away completely!"

Lando thew his hands up in desperation. How could she not see it? "I'm coming here to you whenever I have a slightest chance! And I come what? You constantly dragging me through the mud."

"Oh interesting you mention that. How sad that your assistant had to remind you of my sensitive skin before you having him book me an "apology mud massage" when you cancelled on me few weeks ago," se shot, knowing it would hit the target.

"How do you even know that!" he said, unable to comprehend that he did not even control his paid assistant, not mention his own life anyway.

"Well, I talk a lot to you assistant! And he slips up!" It was a weird friendship between people who both wished they could get a little more info out of Lando.

"That's it. I can't deal with this now," he said, with the intention to sleep on the couch for the first time in their relationship. He didn't even know why he chose that action, walking towards their bedroom and dramatically bringing a pillow and a blanket over to the sofa, but if this is what couples did when the fought, there must have been a reason for it.

It absolutely infuriated her. Sparked up something she hoped she'd never feel. "Oh, sleep tight." she spitted with bitter undertone.

"I will!"

//

They walked around each other in silence, him getting ready to sleep on the couch and her cutting her skincare short this time and spending more time debating whether to close the bedroom door as they usually would or leave it open. Just in case.

He could hear her shifting back and forth. It angered him a little bit, since he was the one playing a cruel joke on his already tired muscles.

Thousand things she wanted to say and only one came to her mind in a form of an actual sentence. There goes nothing. "Do you still feel good about this?"

"What?" he whispered, not expecting her to speak to him again before the next day.

"Nevermind, forget I asked."

"About what!" He hated when she did this. If you didn't catch up at the first moment, she did not give you a second chance.

"Do you still feel good about us, being together?" She cursed herself for asking this. Dangerous questions brought up explosive answers. She wished for a reassurance and a rejection. She snuggled deeper into her blanket and turned around to face the door. As if wishing for him to stand there and coming back to her.

Lando hated her question. In fact, it made him furious again. But it was a peace offering, he had already learned that before. "Even here, lying on the bloody couch, because we're fighting...It's the place I wanna be at."

Anxiety kicked in Y/N. "What, you mean like away from me?"

He laughed lightly. She was always thinking the worst. "No, silly. The exact opposite...We could both be at thousand different places at the moment. But we're not. And for me at least, it's because like---I want to be with you. I hate that we'd drifted apart lately. I'd love to be in bed with you, laughing without a care in the world, like we usually do. But, we can't do that now. And yet, I'd rather be left on the couch if I know you're next door than all alone in my bed." His words hit like small drops of rain after a long draught.

She whispered, choosing her words carefully. "You're my twin flame. You make my soul light up in fire, make me feel like I'm the sun. Do you know what my biggest fear is?"

Lando also tuned into sweeter tone, one that was more familiar from days filled with sunshine. "What, my love?"

"That we're gonna burn out. You and me, ending up like an epic love story. The good ones work because they end in tragedy."

"You're always so poetic," he smiled, proud to think he was her love story.

"There is no other way to describe how you'd changed my life. Flipped it upside down the moment you walked into the same room."

Lando chucked. "Yeah, remember that?"

"How could I not."

"You were not having a good day."

Finally, she spoke loudly again. "So, what? Everything was going to shit and the event we were doing had to be perfect before the 'important people' arrived".

"Such an ego boost to know I was your priority before you even met me," he uttered, happy to push her buttons.

"Oh, and you were so cocky! Just laughing around, like we were some sort of comedy sketch."

"Well, I'm sorry, have you heard yourself when you're upset? The way how your voice goes up seven octaves higher?" he laughed, his breath feeling lighter now.

"Coming from you, that's rich! You were giggling in a tone so high the elderly couldn't hear you!"

"I'm so happy I managed to bag the grumpiest person in the building. And bare in mind there must have been around 500 people there."

"980 if you could in staff as well."

He let out a heavy sigh. "You with your pristine memory."

She paused before responding. "Yes. Wish I didn't have that sometimes."

"Wish I had at least a pinch of that."

Silence fell in both rooms. Heavy breath and wondering eyes. The lack of their touch suddenly being more obvious than before. Playing a contest who will reach out first.

"Lando?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Can you back here, please?" she said, somewhat nervously. Lando took a pause. There was nothing he wished for more. It hurt to fight. But he figured a relationship needed that sometimes. As the poets say, you loose a woman when you forget to cherish her. He liked to think this went both ways. And they both started slacking a bit. He could only affect his own behavior, with the hope that she'd also come to the same understanding.

"I'd like nothing more in the world, my love."

[celestial-grls]

thinking abt what it'd be like to take a yoga class with paige. maybe yoga is actually your thing and you like to go to the yoga studio a few times a week, it's become a part of your routine just like how paige has basketball. she has a little time off and gets the bright idea to join you for one of your classes. "i think it'll be fun. we can go together, get acai bowls afterwards, i get to stare at your ass in yoga pants..." she says. you don't need any convincing and you think it's nice paige wants to try one of your hobbies. once you've settled in, she didn't realize how hot the room would be. "baby, you didn't tell me we were going to hot yoga." "what do you mean? this is a hot yoga studio, p." she's out of her element, sweating so much more than she expected to. there's a point in which the instructor has everyone hold a pose for extra long. you glanced over at her and had to stifle giggles when you saw how badly she was grimacing. poor baby actually looked like she was in pain. when the class finally ended, your instructor told paige "you could learn a thing or two from Y/N, she's one of my best students" and winked at her. paige teases, "i don't know, for someone who does so much yoga she isn't the most patient teacher." you scoff and lightly smack her arm. when you get acai bowls after you ask for extra nutella on her's since she worked so hard today :( and you tell her "you did good, baby. maybe you can come with me more often?" "i'll let you know when i stop feeling the pulse on the back of my knee and think about it."

[heesdreamer]

YOU MAKE ME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles

WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)

WC ➩ 17k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ (i lied lol part 2 soon) NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)

Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.

When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.

She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.

You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.

When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.

Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.

You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.

It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.

Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.

Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.

You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.

You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.

Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.

Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.

Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.

You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.

A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.

You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.

“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.

“Yeah.. a little bit.” You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.

He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.

He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.

The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.

“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.

“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.

“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.

“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”

You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.

“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.

“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”

This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.

You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.

“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”

“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”

——

You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.

When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.

The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.

Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.

“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”

You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.

“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.

“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”

“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.

He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.

You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.

Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.

He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.

Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.

“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.

“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.

He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.

You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.

“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”

It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.

You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.

The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.

“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.

“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”

You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.

Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.

“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.

It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.

You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.

At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.

Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.

You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.

“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.

“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.

“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.

It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.

“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.

“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”

The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.

“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.

“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”

“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.

“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.

“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.

“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.

You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.

“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”

He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.

“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.

“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.

“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.

He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.

The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.

You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.

You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.

“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.

He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”

The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.

You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.

You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.

When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.

It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.

“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.

“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”

“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”

His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.

You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.

“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.

You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.

He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.

It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”

You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.

You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.

It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.

It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.

——

The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.

Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.

Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.

It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.

Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.

Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.

Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.

You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.

You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.

The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.

It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.

He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.

He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.

It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.

You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.

“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.

“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”

“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.

“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.

“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.

His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.

“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”

“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”

“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.

“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.

“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.

You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.

When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.

You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.

It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.

——

“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.

You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.

“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”

“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.

You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.

Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.

For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.

He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.

“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.

You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”

He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.

You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.

“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.

You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.

“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.

His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.

——

You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.

You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.

Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.

He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.

Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.

The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.

When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.

You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.

Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.

“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.

You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.

You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.

He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.

It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.

Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.

“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.

“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.

He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.

“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”

“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.

Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.

He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.

You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.

“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”

The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.

“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.

“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.

“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”

He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.

“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”

You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.

“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.

“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”

“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.

Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.

His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.

He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.

“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”

“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.

“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.

“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.

His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.

“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.

He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.

You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.

He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.

“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.

“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.

“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”

“Right.” He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”

You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.

“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.

Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.

You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.

“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.

You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.

“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.

Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.

“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”

“N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.

A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.

He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.

Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.

“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”

With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.

When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.

You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.

The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.

You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.

You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.

But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.

Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.

You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.

You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.

“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”

You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.

“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”

You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.

“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.

He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.

“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”

“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.

You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.

It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.

You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.

When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.

Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.

“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.

Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.

“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.

You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.

“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.

“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.

“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.

You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.

“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.

“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”

You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.

“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.

He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.

“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”

He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.

He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.

Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.

“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound

“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”

“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.

You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.

He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.

“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”

Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.

“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.

“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.

The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.

“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”

“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.

You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.

“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.

You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.

“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.

Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.

You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.

“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.

“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”

“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.

He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.

His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.

“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.

Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.

You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.

If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.

You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.

“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.

“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.

He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.

“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.

“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.

“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”

You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.

You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.

“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.

“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.

It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.

You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.

You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.

He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.

——

You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.

The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.

You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.

“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“

“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”

He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.

“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.

He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.

“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.

“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.

Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.

You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.

“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”

He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.

“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”

“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.

“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”

He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.

You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.

The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.

“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.

“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.

“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”

You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.

How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.

“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.

You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.

He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.

You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.

“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.

You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.

Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.

He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.

You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

[thevirtualvalentine]

TAPE SIX : DOWNWARD DOG !

Starring… ‘Black Leg’ Sanji 📸

SET SCRIPT : “ooo what about sanji and yoga?”

MATURE WARNING(S) : smut, unprotected vaginal sex, dom!reader, mirror sex, yoga teacher!reader, student!sanji, handjobs, cunnilings, semi public sex, fingering, flirting, pervy!sanji, cum eating, femme!reader, minor cum play, “miss” used as a title, reverse cowgirl.

DIRECTORS CUT : for my first tumblr mutual @sanjisjuul !!!! I had to deliver the best for the ceo of Sanji. I got off that vc and started cooking in my drafts, I thought you’d enjoy the fic going in this direction. 🤭

Sanji did not really know what to expect using his “1 free session of yoga” ticket that zoro ended up gifting him for his birthday (long story). At the very least he was hoping he wouldn’t be there alone. However, of course fate casts its cruel hand and he’s the only one there in the studio.

Occasionally, his anxieties will get the best of him. He began frantically pacing the floors like a mad man and sees you walk in, his entire mood does an immediate 180. Just a second ago he swore he would destroy Zoro, now here he was singing his blessings in fine tune.

“Here all by yourself handsome?” you say smiling while walking through the studio doors to set down your belongings. One thing you adored was teaching beginners how to practice yoga, but it is very rare to have a male student. Especially one this handsome.

To be fair, for all his womanizing it’s rare that Sanji is shown the same energy back. The second your sultry voice slipped past your plump limps and called him handsome, he thought he was going to start hyperventilating or maybe salivating on the spot. You are the most beautiful woman he thinks he’s ever seen in his life, bountiful curls tied up in a silk scarf, a matching set that accentuates your undertones, and a set of eyes that pierce straight through his heart.

If Cupid shot him, he wouldn’t mind one bit. “Is it really just me in here?” He asks turning around the room to see if anyone had appeared from thin air within the last second.

“Don’t be scared, I don’t bite hun,” a shiver runs down his spine, “I’m y/n, your yoga instructor for today, just gonna be me and you so let’s try our best!” You clap your hands in excitement as you queue up some music.

Sanji will try his upmost best to not freak you out with his habit of love bombing and undying adoration for the mere ground you walk on, but only if you knew what he was thinking, ‘A beautiful babe and so radiant, goodness you could be the sun itself… a perfect goddess here before my very own eyes. Thank you stupid moss ball, but only this once.’

As you begin to work with Sanji, you quickly realize he’s excelling at all the physical parts of yoga, just not the mental ones. So, while he may be able to hit the cleanest triangle pose you’ve seen a beginner do due to sheer flexibility, he can’t seem to relax or concentrate at all.

“Deeper breaths Sanji, relax for me honey.” Well, he can’t when you say things like that to him. He is pleased to know you can’t tell it’s a furious blush overtaking his face because he can blame it on exercise and perspiration.

“I—,” your place your hand on top of his diagram, squatting down so you’re eye level with him, “can’t..” the weight of your palm makes his heart rate sky rocket

“Let’s try something different then, yeah?” How could he deny you when you ask so nicely with a pretty smile? He nods, waiting for further instructions. Sanji is an excellent student, what a good listener.

“Kay, I want you to sit on the floor in front of the mirror. Try to breathe in, and out deeply.” You motion for him to follow you to the mats, sitting down behind him as he tries to find his centering.

You curve your body behind him like a puzzle piece, ‘helping’ him by placing your hands on him once more. “Mhm, yes. Just like that.” He’s supposed to be watching himself in the mirror, practicing his breath, not watching your hands essentially grope him. Fuck. He’s going to get hard, he can already feel the blood rushing there with the help of your hot breath on the back of his neck.

You keep talking him through it, pretending not to notice the unruly state you’re leaving him in. He shudders continuously, unable to regulate his bodily functions when your hands begin to trail down his abdomen.

“I can help you relax better y’know, just ask,” your teeth graze the shell of his eat and he can’t help himself from begging for your sweet beautiful mercy.

Sanji is a big man, but he utterly trembles in your hold. His hard cock out in broad daylight as you stroke him for anyone to see if they walked into the studio by chance. You have him practically sitting in your lap with his legs spread wide open, pumping his cock in your hand as you turn his head to kiss you sloppily. He’s panting into each kiss, barely making the timing because he can’t stop moaning like a whore.

“Fu—fuckfuckfuck, ngh— wait slower slower,” he chokes out, his balls feel heavier knowing you’re watching his every twitch and whine in the mirror. You are beautiful but oh so cruel and he loves it.

“Slower? Didn’t you just say you wanted me to go faster? You don’t seem to be very smart Sanji,” you continue to pump him up and down as he feels his orgasm rearing its head already, he hasn’t gotten to feel you, he can’t cum yet.

The way you tut your head to belittle him makes Sanji want to squeal out in mind-numbing pleasure, it was just so perfect. “I’ll cum!! D-don’t wanna,” he pathetically whines.

You decide you’ll reward him for his honesty, slowing your hand to bite the sensitive skin of his neck. “Then switch places with me,” you offer, letting your eyes meet in the mirror. The pad of your thumb swirls over his oozing tip waiting for an answer.

If it wasn’t for the fact he was catching his breath, evident from the steep rise and fall of his chest, Sanji would have already been behind you. “Yes, pl..please.”

He helps strip your shirt over your head, massaging your breasts lightly and twirling your dark nipples between practiced fingers. You sigh into his touch, letting your head rest against his shoulder, “I like it hard and fast, can you do that for me Sanji? I wanna make sure it’ll all fit,” you pur.

“Fuck me,” he whispers under his breath, he’s still leaking. Yet he’s no where near as drenched as you are when he slides your panties down your legs.

Pools of it running down your ass crack, he coats his fingers in the white translucent substance. “Help yourself,” you tell him, eyeing the way he plays with it between his fingers. He spreads its before sticking it back together. What a perv.

He almost gags himself trying to taste it all, desperate for the sweetness. He plunges his fingers into your sopping cunt, sticking one knuckle deep while testing the waters. He prods around trying to see what you like, when he finds the one that makes you tighten around him, he smiles; adding in another lithe digit.

You’re leaning against him for support as he works up his pace, pounding his fingers into you like clockwork. Once he starts he can’t stop the inertia, feeling his muscles burn in his bicep and forearm.

But it’s worth it, all worth it when he hears your guttural whines and praises. Your pussy rewards him with even more slick that he stops himself to taste, gorging himself on it. “Let me taste it please, I have to taste the real thing, miss please,” oh and he begs so sweetly.

With a nod he scrambles around to wrap his arms around your thighs, strapping himself to your cunt. His tongue is hot and heavy on your lower lips, lapping at anything he can. “Augg-ahhh Sanji! Oh my god,” you can feel your eyes roll back into your skull as you prop yourself up on your elbows for some stability.

But he doesn’t stop, exploring further, pressing his appendage at your entrance. The smooth ring of muscle no match for his hunger as his tongue guts through you. “It fe—fuck���els so good, don’t stop!” If anyone else needed to come by the studio you’re sure it would sound like murder with the way he was killing that cat, no mercy.

He’ll scissors his digits, press his greedy fingers against your gummy soft walls while sucking your clit. Then maybe prod at that spot that makes you go limp. He’s just so excited he is getting to make you feel good he didn’t even realize he was also moaning. You were just so addicting, he felt at peace.

He stops when he realizes you came all over his face, coating him in the residue that he begins to lick up like an obediently trained mutt. You’re gripping his scalp with your nails to stop him from overwhelming you as he hisses. The sight of him below your mound is enthralling, so you drag his face in your cunt to work off the aftershocks. Grinding into his plush pink tongue.

You decide you’ll mount him reverse cowgirl on your feet (with help of course), he holds your hip as you find balance. You feel him start to stretch your entrance, welcoming the painful burn. He’s long and skinny, hitting a spot inside you that has you saying, “oh fuck,” as you try to take more of him.

You watch yourself in the mirror, his inches disappearing behind your pussy lips, form crumpled over trying to selfishly fit him all inside.

But you keep going, needy to hear more of what you could pull out of Sanji. Bounce by bounce you pick up the pace, swallowing his cock with each clap of your ass.

The view was unreal, your thick curls beginning to fall down your back as you worked up a sweat. Titties bouncing up and down as you rock back n’ forth on your feet. “More! More! Please, need it so bad miss!” His hands help piston you on top of him, wanting to lend you whatever support you might need from him. He’s just hoping you can’t see the way his toes curl from how tight and wet you are.

You place your hands behind you on his chest for even more balance, the new angle making you feel even fuller than before. You both felt on fire, your hot breaths began to fog up the mirror as you made love on the floor.

Sanji, desperate to feel you even deeper, thrusts up to match your pace. It makes his cock drag just right on your clit and the pressure begins to build again in your stomach. It’s not like he’s much better though, a blubbering mess underneath you even if you can’t see his face, the desperation of his hips is evident enough.

A few moments later you’re both a sweaty and convulsing mess on top of each other as he makes you cum harder than before. It knocks the wind out of you as you shake in pleasure. Sanji is left whimpering underneath you, unable to pull out.

“So, same time next week?” You ask.

Enjoy? Reblog & click to see event masterlist!

[ixhika-jsx]

𝖼𝖼::⌗ -⌗𝖼𝖼:: ?? ⌗ -⌗

Top Secrets of Straight-A Students by Bullet Journals

Scrolling away from this post just proves you being an average student....go on scroll away you are doing good by decreasing competition. 🫶🏻😽

1.) They get to class early. Getting to class early gives you time to be prepared and ready to study. Review your notes from the day before, lay out all your supplies (notebook, water bottle, pens, etc). You can also ask the teacher any questions you had about the material.

2.) They get ahead. The second they get an assignment, no matter when it is due, they do it. This is so so helpful. Do NOT procrastinate. You just end up being exhausted and tired. It's not worth it. You might as well finish once you get it. Life will be so easy, believe me.

3.) They have an organized schedule. They figure out a schedule that works for them. They make sure to include time for extracurriculars, breaks, meal times, etc. Try to map out EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of your day.

4.) They prepare. They lay out their clothes for the next day, they finish their homework early, they even plan out what they will have for their meals for the next few weeks and what exercises theyt will be doing.

5.) They enjoy learning and want to learn. They aren't just there because they have to be. They have ajust there because they have to be. They have a strong desire to learn. When you want to learn (even if you fake it) you usually do better on exams and papers.

6.) Everything is organized. Their desk has nothing on it but their Mac, their pens are neatly on the shelf in small cups, they make their beds the second they get out of bed. They have a filing system, so the second they get papers back they put them in the files. When everything of yours has a home it's a lot easier to study and be productive.

7.) They treat school like their job. They may have other part-time jobs, but they know that school is their main focus, and it should therefore be treated as a job. Not wanting to be fired from your job corresponds with not wanting to fail your classes. They therefore work as hard as they can and try to "impress" the boss.

8.) They give it everything they have. They are dedicated, have goals, and know what they want. They don't want to "just get through high school/college." They want to learn, they want to become successful, and most are even aiming for goals such as valedictorian. They won't accept B's or C's. (Please note that while it is very good to have high standards. getting a lower grade once in awhilehigh standards, getting a lower grade once in awhile isn't that big of a deal!!!)

9.) They keep themselves happy and healthy. They take well deserved breaks (only when everything is done), they have "off" days, they get enough SLEEP and WATER, and they keep themselves fit doing yoga, running, cardio, etc.

10) They don't mind helping other people. They don't turn a blind eye to people who need help. Instead they use it as a teaching experience, and help the student through the problem or whatever they need help with. Teaching people is super helpful. I sometimes write on my whiteboard and pretend that I am teaching an imaginary (I'm such a loser but it helps;).

[exhaslo]

Kinktober Day 22- Leona x Reader (Dry Humping)

*Requested by Reader, I only just started Twisted Wonderland, so I hope to every god I got his character right. Sorry in advance if anything is wrong!!!*

        It was a mistake. A huge mistake. You had convinced yourself that everything that was happening was a dream. The fact that you had been kidnapped and brought to this so-called college for magic; the fact that there was no way for you to return home; the fact that you were scared and alone; and the fact that you were now the only female at the college. It had to be a dream, no a nightmare! What were you to do if you could never return home. Sure, the Headmaster was nice enough to let you stay in an abandon dorm and that he would let you study in private, but it was still wrong!

        You were currently sobbing in your room as you stared at the magic books in front of you. You were deemed a 'Beast Trainer' or something along those lines. It was all a blur. The weirdest thing about everything was that all of the students here reminded you of Disney characters, but they also didn't? It was a weird state you were in. All you wanted to do was go home, lay in your own bed and probably eat your favorite meal.

"And I have to join their classes? I was working...My bills....My apartment," You whimpered.

        The only light in this whole mess was that all of the men were hot. Yes, it was something small, but it kept you going. One person caught your eye in particular. You were still getting to know the dorms and the student leaders, but you could have sworn the man had ears. Once you saw the statues of the 'seven greats' you immediately knew it was Scar. Or, at least what you wanted to believe was Scar. You were still confused and still unsure of anything yet.

-----------

        You were a special Herbivore. Leona had taken an interest in you when you first fell out of that coffin. A female at the college. There were a lot of special rules in place because of you. It was fascinating to watch you. Whenever you entered the gym in a hurry, Leona kept his eyes on you. He made it seem like he did not care, but he did. He was waiting for his turn to get to know you. 

"Oof, this sucks!" You whined as you tripped over your own foot, "Why do I get stuck jogging around the track while everyone gets to practice broom flying?!"

"Because you have no magic," Leona said with a yawn, hiding behind the benches. He watched as you flinched, "Back here."

"Uh, I don't think the teacher would like you sleeping during class."

"I'm doing yoga," Leona lied as he closed his eyes once more. You glanced back at the others before sneaking behind the benches,

"I don't think we properly met. I'm (Y/N), I think I remember you were napping in the greenhouse, right?"

"Hmm....That's right, you were with those fools," Leona muttered before slowly sitting up, "So, in your world, do you always approach strangers?"

"Huh?" You grew flustered, "I mean, it's not...safe, but well...I'm not exactly in my world and this is all super interesting." You explained. Leona was observing you,

"Likewise." He yawned, laying back down, "You seem like a tolerable herbivore."

"Haha, that's different, but I'll assume it's a good thing," You noticed his ears and tail. This was Scar, "Is it okay if I visit? I'd like to get to know more about you all and this place."

        Leona resisted a chuckle as he replied with a simple, 'sure'. He wasn't going to admit that he was interested in knowing more about you. Perhaps you would entertain him.

-------------

        Eventually you got to understand more of this world you now lived in. Everyone was kind enough to talk to you and help you with classes, everyone expect Leona. He always brought out the worst of you. Leona was smart, but he always managed to convince you to laze around and worry about stuff later. It was hard because you liked him. You easily listened to him and did what he said.

        Just like now. You had some questions about a certain dream you had about Leona's world, or at least the Disney world you know of. You wanted to ask him some questions, but here you were, sitting on the floor. Leona was on his bed, snoring away. He had, once again, convinced you to be lazy and sleep.

"Leona," You whispered, leaning against his bed.

        Leona let out a grunt, turning towards you. His bright emerald eyes made you melt. Leona was so beautiful. Sometimes, you were lucky that you were the only female on campus. You watched as Leona gave his usual irritated look. He reached his hand out,

"I'm trying to nap," He grumbled. You gave him a soft pout,

"But-"

"Nap with me." 

        You immediately felt you cheeks burn. Leona must have read your mind because he snickered. He pulled you onto his bed, holding you on top of him. You could feel your heart racing a mile a minute. There you were, sitting on Leona's lap. He just stared into your eyes.

"Well, aren't you brave for a herbivore."

"Y-You're the one who pulled me up here!" You huffed. Leona hummed tiredly, rubbing circles around your waist, "H-Hey....that..."

"I quite like this reaction,"

        Leona kept his eyes on you as you began to tremble from his touch. This was something he could get used to. Something that was new. He was already enjoying the fact that you were breaking one of the rules for him. As the only female on campus, you were not allowed to go to any of the other dorms alone. It was deemed too dangerous, you had to have Grim or one of the teachers with you. So the fact that you kept coming alone to see Leona was enough for him to want to keep you.

        You were a pleasant part of his day. Leona actually enjoyed your company. You were also one of the only people to actual allow him to do what he wanted. It was a nice change of pace. Returning his attention to you, Leona was enjoying your expressions. Perhaps this would be a good time to make you his. If you could not go back to your world, Leona would be more than willing to take you back to his.

"You're not stopping me," Leona whispered. You glanced down at him, avoiding his stare,

"W-Well.,..It feels good," You muttered under your breathe.

        Leona chuckled lowly as he started to grind his hips against yours. You gasped lowly, biting your lower lip as you moved along with him. How lovely. Leona glanced down at your skirt, feeling his pants getting damp. Now this was entertaining. Leona held you hips and motioned you to get closer to his face. You, being his cute obedient partner, did so.

"You like this too?" He whispered. You muffled a moan, your damp panties rubbing against his bulge,

"Y-Yes,"

        You gasped as Leona held your waist down. You leaned towards his lips, giving him a light peck. It wasn't fair how he got to have his fun. The least you could do was steal a kiss from the so called King. Leona seemed to have liked your reaction. He immediately reached for your head and kissed you again. It felt like you hurt his pride when you went to kiss him first. Leona would never admit it, but he hated stuff like that. It was cute.

        Leona sat up with you, licking the inside of your mouth for dominance. He easily won due to his strength. You whimpered a moan into the kiss as his grinding got faster. The pool between your legs staining his pants. Each time the tip of his bulge rubbed against your clothed pussy, you felt another jolt travel up your spine. You were getting close to the knot in your stomach to blow. You needed that release. Leona must have sensed it since he started to dry hump faster.

"If I wasn't so tired, perhaps we can be a little more...intimate," He said, thinking about his words carefully. You moaned lowly, not wanting anyone in the other rooms to hear you,

"T-This is you tired?" You buried your head into his shoulder. Leona licked his lips as he bit down against your neck,

"You interrupted my nap."

"L-Leona," You moaned, reaching your orgasm. Leona held your hips tightly as he shook for a moment,

"Interrupted my nap and made a mess," He grumbled, sucking on your neck, "You owe me,"

"Haha, yes your highness," You teased, panting softly for air.

        Leona fixed your hair, laying back down with you in his grasp. He inhaled deeply, nuzzling his head into your neck. You tried to escape, complaining about washing up, but Leona ignored your cries. Instead, he reached down and pulled your panties off, throwing them across the room. You squeaked in response and grabbed his blanket to cover your skirt. Leona chuckled lowly, closing his eyes for a nap. He was going to enjoy having you by his side.

[steddieasitgoes]

written for @steddielovemonth Day 19 prompt: Love is helping them unwind after a rough day (@lihhelsing) and Love is the comfort of quiet moments (@tboygareth) Rating: G | wc: 718 | no cw Tags: established relationship, fluff, teacher!steve, rockstar!eddie

Steve knew when he started teaching that his job wasn’t always going to be easy. That for every breakthrough lesson he taught where every one of his students understood and had fun learning, there would be just as many days where he left as frustrated as the kids because the material just wasn’t clicking. 

Today was one of those days. 

No one was more excited when the dismissal bell rang than Steve. Usually, he’d stick around, grade a few papers, or mingle in the teacher’s lounge but today he packed up his bag just as fast as his kids and bolted to his car. 

All he wanted to do was get home, unwind, and have a nice night with Eddie. Maybe make dinner and finally watch the movie Eddie rented a few days ago for them to watch before he got called in for a rewrite session at the studio. 

Steve makes it no more than ten steps into the house before his sock-covered foot collides with something hard. At first, he thinks it’s their senior dog Joe — it wouldn’t be the first time he’s tripped over him — but as Steve tumbles to the floor, he realizes he’s tripped over Eddie. 

His ass breaks the fall, colliding with the cold tile with a force that’s certain to leave a bruise — one Eddie is no doubt going to poke and prod at because he’s a gremlin, but that’s a problem for later. Right now, he needs to figure out why his boyfriend is currently sprawled out on the floor in the middle of their foyer. 

“Rough day?”

Eddie’s response comes in the form of a groan, seemingly too tired to respond with his words. He kicks his legs out farther, starfishing on the floor before scrunching his eyes so tight Steve wants to knead the doughy flesh on his forehead. 

“Yeah,” Steve sighs, “me too.” 

“Floor time,” Eddie mumbles, patting the spot next to him. 

The time it’s Steve who responds non-verbally, grumbling incoherent words as he lowers himself gently to the hard floor. He’s careful with his head, tucking one arm under to act as a cushion. The cold shocks him for all of two seconds before he feels himself sinking into the tile. The weight of today’s shitty day disappears as his body finally relaxes and the world fades into the background. 

Steve doesn’t do this as often as Eddie does, but it’s nice. Really nice. They don’t listen to music or talk about their day. They don’t kiss or touch beyond an occasional hand squeeze. They simply lie there with their eyes closed and listen to the sound of their heartbeats.

He had joked once that what they were doing was a form of meditation, but Eddie had scoffed at that — not wanting to participate in the “latest conformist trend” that is yoga, so they call it floor time instead.

As Steve lays there, enjoying the feeling of the cold tile on his tense muscles, he can’t help but break the no-touching rule and reaches his hand out in search of Eddie’s. He finds it immediately, taking his ink-stained hands into his own. His fingers curl around Eddie’s ring-clad ones and he gives it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. 

“I love you,” he whispers, soft enough that Eddie might not hear him. 

But he does. 

Eddie always does. 

“No talking during floor time,” Eddie quietly reprimands, before squeezing Steve’s hand back in return. A moment passes before, Eddie tilts his head to the side and opens one eye to look at Steve. “Love you too, baby.” 

In a little while they’ll peel themselves off the floor and head into the kitchen to cook dinner. Steve will playfully swat Eddie’s hand away from the simmering pot of sauce and he’ll give him those big puppy dog eyes until he caves and lets him get a taste. And then they’ll sit across from each other at their small dining room table playing footsie while they each vent about the shitty days they’ve had before retiring to the bedroom where they’ll take turns taking each other apart. 

But for now, it’s floor time. 

[anchoeritic]

Jake sully pregnancy anything !!! Please . I NEED DILF JAKE

your habits jake learned to grow used to after you became pregnant with his child:

• constant need for cuddles / physical touch. your number one love language is cuddles, second is probably acts of service. it can vary from time to time.

• it didn’t matter what time of day it was, where you were sitting or standing, you always needed to feel him in one way or another. you tend to hold his hands a lot more when you’re in public rather than hugging onto him though. you knew the clan wouldn’t mind but it’s much more personal.

• jake smiles to himself when he feels your hand slip into his, your fingers intertwining gently. your hands were smaller than his so it felt like he was melting your hands but you loved that. the warmth of your mate could never steer you away, only drag you closer to him.

• another habit jake got used to, the emotional rollercoasters you would go on because of your hormones. it would happen almost all the time and only he knew how to deal with it.

• being more emotional can also lead to becoming more anxious: as jake calls it, you can be a little over the edge sometimes. refusing to

• sometimes you’d wake up crying in jake’s arms, using him as a shield to shy away. it would work out pretty well because you’ll usually be met with kisses and breathy reassurances by your mate: “you’re okay, baby.” “i’m right here, don’t worry.”

• sobs. he is the cutest person to ever exist. literally the most wholesome in the entire universe.

• his favourite thing to do when you’re falling asleep is hum to you. he’s not a great singer, he knows that, but it took him time to realize that maybe you thought different.

• his singing is trash but you would never tell him that. you’d rather listen to his voice right as you fall asleep than listen to the crickets of silence and his heavy snores.

• so he likes to hum nursery rhymes or old songs that his friends would sing to him during his time as a marine and pet your hair, hoping the lil lovebug in your belly could hear the bonding of their parents. jake would do anything to make his loved ones happy.

• something else you picked up was a lot more gentle training, like yoga! preparing for birth was something unexpected so you had to get ready for it.

• jake would come back from his training to you in a warrior pose, it didn’t look close to the warrior poses he had to endure training with the clan, but he still joined you.

• pressing a kiss to your head as a quiet greeting, he’d get into position, following your voice as his commands. “let the wind flow through you, let it feel your emotions, let everything blow out,”

• let’s just say the session would be ruined by jake laughing at how you worded your sentences, finding them a lot dirtier than you did. “shut up.” “jeez, i’m sorry, honey!”

• little did he know, you’d be laughing under your breath too.. just a lil bit quieter than he did though so he wouldn’t notice.

• “you’re a child, jake.” you scolded him, moving down into a different position, feeling the stretch of your muscles. he chuckled, shaking his head. “how did you expect me not to laugh?” true.

• you began to become more of a motherly figure to the other children, trying to teach them the language of the sky people. you weren’t a teacher, but someone that was willing to share the world jake once set life on.

• from the nature around, you would weave them into small gifts, giving them to each of the children with a smile. those handmade gifts can vary from hats, bracelets, and even rings.

• your partner in crime was, you guessed it, jake. he would collect and you would weave. a two man job for a couple, this was light work.

• while taking care of the children from time to time, you developed a group meeting; called it a sharing circle. jake recommended it as a type of way to get closer to one another. each day, a couple of kids would talk about themselves like a show & tell, telling stories or just about their favourite hobbies.

• soon after, some of the adults would start to join, sitting beside their kids and listening to their stories. neytiri loved to talk about the history of toruk makto, creating tiny shadow figures with her hands to entertain the children.

• life wasn’t so easy on pandora but it was your homeland, you were surrounded by the people you loved, the mate of your dreams. you wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

[friedbaekhyunandeggso]

mr. kamo

art credit: @/adrienwithane on instagram

pairings: choso kamo x female oc (kaori everest)

tropes: kindergarten teacher! choso x college student! teacher assistant/aide! oc

warnings: all lowercase, 18+ only, age-gap (choso: 28-30ish, oc: 19), lying/ulterior motives, underage drinking, mentions of weed (once), virgin! choso, dirty talk, pet names (good girl, baby), unprotected s3x, failed pull out attempt = creampie (don’t be silly & cover your willy)

word count/plot: [9.2k] kaori meets her little sister’s kindergarten teacher by chance & can’t forget him. he might not know her yet but she's not afraid to do anything to get what she wants.

a/n: honestly this story is kinda random but i was thinking about choso & this fanart that i saw of him a while ago as a kindergarten teacher. i didn't see him as a kindergarten teacher then but now i kinda think it's a cute concept. i was originally gonna make the oc a cafe worker but the idea for this slightly chaotic oc came in my head hella last min. anyway, i hopeee u enjoy-especially if ur one of the peeps who voted for this on my poll :) happy holidays!!!

“mom! come onn, you can pick her up on your way back.”

she hastily put on her jacket, “stop it, kaori. your dad and i aren’t sure if we’ll make it back on time so i need you. i know you can do it.”

“mommmm, do you seriously have to go to yoga today? aren’t classes twice a week?”

“yes, but todays bring your husband to yoga day so you know i have to. i made your dad leave work early for this.”

suddenly a car honked.

“alright, i’ll see you okay? make sure you get shiloh okay?”

she sighed, “alright, alright.”

she'd wanted to enjoy the fact that her last class of the day and evening work-shift got cancelled but it seemed she had to get out of the house anyway.

great.

kaori parked her car alongside the million other cars at the sidewalk. she was 7 minutes late. it wasn’t terrible but she’d meant to come earlier—if only she hadn’t gotten distracted talking to her friend on the phone.

she stepped out of the car, hastily closing the door behind her. she checked the time on her phone once more before slipping it into her trench coat pocket. she quickly jogged towards the kindergarteners entrance.

she only remembered where it was because she'd went to this school when she was a child. and now it was her little sister’s turn.

she glanced around to see other parents waiting as well, some conversing with a few teachers and—

“ri! ri!” a familiar voice yelled.

kaori immediately spun around to see shiloh pointing at her. her familiar pastel purple puffer coat standing out.

she walked over, noticing the tall white-or grey, was it?-man standing beside her. he had the most interesting tattoo on face, right along his t-zone were stark black lines. and the skin surrounding his eyes was a deep purplish shade as if he lacked sleep. and his hair? his hairstyle was the most.. outlandishly cute hairstyle she’d ever seen.

it was two spiky, space-bun like ponytails at the crown of his head. he wore a fitted long-sleeve purple sweater, layered with a white collared dress-shirt underneath. the sleeves of his shirts rolled up to his elbow, revealing firm forearms. he had on dark grey slacks and matching black dr. martens?? specifically the 1461 platforms? she swore she had the same pair at home.

to say she was speechless was an understatement.

shiloh tugged on his finger, “riri here.”

she let go of his finger then and waddled up-to her. just as shiloh reached out to clutch her finger, he was there. his large hand cupping shiloh’s tiny shoulder.

kaori blinked, she hadn’t even seen him move.

he then bent down, adjusting one of the loose straps on shiloh’s backpack before looking up at her.

“i’m sorry, are you here to pick someone up?”

“yes,” she gestured towards shiloh, “i’m here to pick up shiloh actually. i’m her older sister.”

“ah,” he stood up, revealing his full height before her. he had to be about 6 ft tall-maybe 5’11 but it didn’t matter. she had to look up at him to maintain eye contact and something about it made her jittery inside.

“do you mind showing me your ID?”

right. It was probably protocol for newcomers that came for pick up-and her mother had reminded her exactly of such but-just as she reached for her wallet and examined its inside, her ID wasn’t there. fuck.

wait. she quickly checked the back of her phone case. yes! her fake ID was in there.

she was nineteen but her fake id looked exactly like her real one, minus for her birth year-of course-which revealed her to be ‘twenty three’. she hadn’t used it much but she’d gotten one anyway. last year-well, freshman year her friends were convinced they needed one so they got her on the bandwagon.

she handed him her fake id with a light smile. he took it, examining it for a short moment before handing it back to her.

he removed his hand from shiloh’s shoulder, “nice to meet you, ms. everest.” his voice was flat but not entirely impolite.

she offered him her hand, “kaori,” she corrected, “you can call me kaori. what’s your name?”

he shook her hand steadily, as if it were a practiced motion, “cho-“

shiloh suddenly bounced up and down, “mr. kamo! mr. kamo!”

kaori suddenly blanked with recognition. this was mr.kamo? mr.kamo was the teacher shi would not shut up about-which was rare because shiloh was actually a reserved kid. well, as reserved as a five year old could be but even mom had been praising him for making shiloh come out of her shell.

he glanced down at her, the corner of his lip lifting handsomely. this had to be the first emotion she’d seen on his face.

he lightly patted her head, his tone completely changing, “yes, mr. kamo. this is your sister?”

she beamed up at him. what the hell? she never smiles at me like that? “yes. riri is big shister.”

his smile widened ever so slightly, “alright, have fun at home, okay? don’t give big sister too much trouble.”

kaori couldn’t help but smile at that, “i hope she hasn’t been giving you trouble in class?”

even if shiloh was the reserved type she always like to be on the move. she sometimes had a hard time sitting still and got bored rather easily. adhd diagnosis incoming..

he shook his head, “no, no. she’s been good. she almost took another kid’s juice box today but it was because her water bottle was empty.”

he glanced down at her, “-but we talked about using our words right? we use words before hands.”

shiloh blinked up at him, holding onto the straps of her backpack tightly, “words ‘for hands.”

“and do we steal?”

shiloh turned red at that, “no, no stealing.”

he then raised his hand for her to high-five, “good girl.”

shiloh immediately hopped up to high-five him and he moved his hand at the last second.

“kamo kamo!” shiloh whined before hugging his leg as he chuckled. “mr.kamo! high-five.”

“okay, okay,” he bent over slightly, raising his hand out to her once more.

shiloh high-fived him with a cheeky smile.

he lightly ruffled her hair, “you gotta go home now, okay?“

shiloh scrunched her nose before letting his leg go, “okayy.”

she walked over and wrapped her tiny fist around kaori’s index finger. kaori was merely stunned at how well shi listened.

he nodded at kaori, “i’ll see you tomorrow. i mean-well-“

“yes,” she smiled cordially, “you’ll see me tomorrow.”

Her mom had just picked out the hanger with her coat from the closet when she suddenly heard kaori’s voice.

“wait! mom,” she hastily bounded down the steps, “are you picking up shi?”

“yes, where are you going?”

kaori had on a jacket and her hair styled in a way that emphasized her wispy wolfcut perfectly.

(a/n: if anyone is curious i was picturing her haircut as this bc i think its sooo cute, anyway pls continue)

“it’s alright i’ll pick up shi today.”

her mom blinked, “you will?”

“yep.” she plucked off her keys from the key hanger before heading out the door.

her mom stared after her wake-in shock. she slowly put her coat back into the closet, “okay then.”

she was early, early enough that the teachers weren’t outside yet so she waited in the car, tapping the steering wheel with her almond shaped french tips.

she zoned out to the song playing until she heard children noises-in abundance. she glanced outside the window just as he stepped out the building, the rest of the little kids in his class in tow. it didn’t matter that several other teachers and kids had also just stepped outside. all that mattered was that he was here. and, of course, shi.

she waited until only a few kids were left to step out the car. it seemed a lot of parents liked to stop and talk to him while picking up their child. with his face, she couldn’t blame them.

she took her time walking over, letting him notice her before she approached. which is exactly what he did, he quickly ushered shi forward.

she took off her sunglasses, slipping them into her prada shoulder bag before offering him a smile.

“nice to see you again, mr. kamo.”

he blinked as if stunned. shiloh watched the two of them with a frown. shiloh had been grilled by her sister yesterday, she’d wanted to know everything about mr. kamo. she’d asked her question after question, some questions the poor 5 yr old didn’t even know the meaning of herself.

he subtly shook his head before returning her smile with a faint one of his own. “you as well, kaori.”

her smile widened before she bent down to meet shiloh eye-to-eye. shi pouted, still holding onto mr. kamo’s index finger.

“did you have a good day at school today?” kaori asked, while lightly pinching her cheek.

“yes.” she mumbled.

he glanced down to look at shi’s moody expression. his dark brows furrowed in concern until kaori snapped her fingers.

“mr. kamo, i know this is kind of a random question but what did you major in in college?”

“i majored in elementary education.”

“wow, they had that program at your school?”

he nodded.

“what school did you go to?”

“boston university.”

“boston?” she laughed slightly, “that’s so far out. what made you come here?”

he seemed somewhat taken aback by the question. she wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t considered it himself or because no one else had asked, “i.. i like this town.”

“you don’t think it’s boring?” she pried, “-at all?”

“no,” he answered, rather composed, “i like boring. its peaceful here.”

she supposed that was true. there was barely any crime here, most of the ‘crime’ was just college students doing something chaotic during rush season or partying too hard. this town was as nice upper middle class america could get.

and unfrickingfortunately she wasn’t able to get out. she was a commuter so her college campus was merely a fifteen minute drive away. and because she was commuter she had the unfortunate experience of seeing many familiar high school faces.

she’d chosen to commute to save money because her parents deal was that if she moved out they’d help with electricity, wifi and other bills but she had to pay to her own rent. she supposed it was their not so subtle way of trying to help her get on her own feet since she was kind of a crazy spender.

she hadn’t been able to save any of the money she made during high school due to her bad spending habits but she decided she’d lock down this year. she’d save as much as she could so that she could have the chance to transfer somewhere else and move out.

she ran a hand through her hair, lost in thought. she supposed not everybody wanted to get out.

“kaori?”

she was immediately drawn back to reality, her eyes flickering up to his.

my god, are his eyes dark purple? it had to be the sunlight playing tricks on her.

she shook her head, “sorry, i just-zoned out.” she muttered.

“you’re good.” something about the baritone of his voice felt reassuring-despite his tone being oddly detached, “is there a reason why you asked about my educational background?”

ever so professional. she nearly smiled to herself but held it in. she was glad he asked because—

“yes, actually, there is,” she tilted her head, “i actually go to [insert nearby university name] and i’m double majoring in math,” truth. “and education,” lie. “but i feel like im leaning more towards education.” another lie. “but i actually have no experience working with any particular age group so i was wondering if i could..” suddenly she felt a bit nervous but quickly cleared her throat, “y’know, shadow you?”

he blinked-repeating, “shadow me.”

“yes,” she smiled slightly, “shadow you. i’m open to helping out with the class as well but if you prefer that i just watch that works too-but yes, i’d like to shadow you.”

his brows furrowed slightly, as if unsure.

she quickly added, “sorry, i know im springing this on you but i’ve heard that your a great teacher-“ she watched his gaze lower to shi and she beamed up at him, making him smile in return.

she cheered internally as she continued, “-and this would really help me sort out my future career plans. i’ll probably jus shadow you until the end of this semester, which is in a month so i won’t be bugging you too long—“

he quickly shook his head, “it’s not that. i’m just not entirely sure on the protocol for this so.. i’ll have to get back to you.”

he paused, “are you going to be here tomorrow?”

“yes.”

“alright, i’ll update you then.”

and that was how she landed in a classroom of eighteen 5-6 year olds as a young adult who hates kids.

wonderful.

he clearly didn’t hate kids though. in fact, he was wonderful with them. he somehow knew exactly what to say to stop a kid from throwing paint on his friend. he knew exactly how to get a kid to stop crying after getting a ‘boo boo’ and he had little to no problem repeating himself several times to get the simple directions of the activities through the little kids heads.

his level of patience was truly commendable. it was also commendable how attractive he managed to look while dealing with the little menaces. she was truly shocked.

she straightened in her seat when he cloaked the last kid in a blanket. it was ‘rest time’ which basically meant all the kids got to lay out on soft nap mats for about forty five minutes. apparently it was either this or recess after lunch, depending on the weather.

he approached her, looking tired—as usual, “you can take a break if you want, i know its been a hectic day.”

“hectic for me?” she smiled at him, “i was just watching.”

he half heartedly smiled back. he’d decided that for her first day she should just observe, so that she could at least get a gist of what went on in the day.

“can i get you a coffee?”

he sat at his desk now and merely retrieved a thermos from his messenger bag at her question.

“i have some.”

“do you know where the bathroom is?”

“o-of course,” he shot up from his desk, “i’ll show you.”

she followed him out of the classroom, watching as he quickly notified the hall monitor to keep an eye on his class before leading her to the staff break room.

he showed her where the extra utensils, plates and mini fridge were-as well as some extra snacks-before showing her the bathroom last.

he seemed embarrassed about this when-in reality-she hadn’t even needed to go. she just wanted to get him alone.

he shook his head, speaking in his typical monotonous fashion, “i’m sorry, you probably needed to go right away-“

“you’re fine,” she gently placed her hand on his elbow, “honestly, you’ve been so helpful with everything. i’m glad i even got this opportunity in the first place.”

she watched his partially open mouth close as his dark purple eyes dropped to her hand. before he could speak, someone else entered the room.

she quickly dropped her hand.

it was another teacher, mr. benson. she’d seen him send off other students during pick up time.

he immediately whistled at the sight of her, “yoo choso, who is this?”

she smiled tightly, hating when other people talked around her like that.

“this is k-“ he glanced at her before continuing, “ms. everest. she’s shadowing my class.”

“oh wow! nice to meet you, ms. everest. i’m dan benson.”

he noticed that she didn’t offer him her hand to shake, but she did offer him a genial smile.

“right back at you, mr. benson.”

dan came to his classroom a lot after that. well, as much as he could anyway—which was hard since elementary school children usually demanded their teachers attention 24/7.

so it was usually around lunch time when he came to bug them. which usually consisted of him talking at choso while he ate and then roping kaori into unwanted conversation.

well, to be fair, it wasn’t like the conversation was boring but kaori was the worst when it came to people that she had a bad first impression of. it took her a lot to like them even if they tried.

but generally-all things aside-dan was a nuisance. it only took her a few days to figure out he’d be useless for her plans since he didn’t actually know much—about choso anyway.

just as the last kid grabbed their lunch bag and followed the hall monitor out the classroom to the cafeteria, kaori stood up from her desk. her desk was adjacent to choso’s and just about half the size of his.

he watched her stand.

“um-is it okay if i close the door?”

usually he left it open, allowing anyone who walked by to glance inside or wander in if they wanted—and boy did dan take advantage of that.

he held her gaze for a moment, “sure.”

she walked across the room, purposefully walking with a certain gait since she knew she was being watched. she closed the door only to jump when she heard his voice directly behind her.

“dan’s not coming, if that’s what your worried about.”

her eyes widened as she turned around. he was merely a foot away from her, his empty water bottle in hand. she hadn’t even heard him walk..

she finally found her words, “really?”

he nodded, “i asked him to come less frequently.”

she was a bit hesitant to ask but asked anyway, “why?”

“he talks too much.”

they stared at each other for a long moment before she started laughing. the corner of his mouth twitched.

she placed her hand over her chest, “i didn’t want to say it but yes he really does.”

he smiled subtly, “he usually comes by once a week but everyday.. is too much.”

she opened the door for him, knowing his ritual of going to the staff room to re-fill his water bottle.

she tilted her head, “i’m glad we agree.”

if it was silence he wanted during lunch breaks, it certainly wasn’t what he got. they talked, a lot.

he knew she was a college student, with both in-person and online classes. that she was a commuter. that her friends were mostly her high school friends and she hated that fact. he knew she struggled to make new friends and he told her not to worry because he was the same.

she knew he had an apartment. that he had a younger brother in high school, whom he wanted to go to her college since it was nearby. he didn’t have any pets-because he was afraid of the responsibility (ha!). he liked to play the piano. and he really really valued his alone time.

he was truly comfortable in his introvertedness, and something about that made her appreciate him more.

he was truly content with his life. she could tell by the way he spoke about his job and family—well, just his brother but he was truly fond of him. and he didn’t take the responsibility of being an older brother lightly-it almost made her feel like she wasn’t doing enough for shi.

it was truly no wonder he was so good with kids.

watching the way he was with kids made her start to warm up to them as well. she began to look forward to her shadowing days more than she thought and she could only hope he did too.

ugh, the truth was she wanted him bad. the more she talked to him, the worse her crush got.

it got so bad that she started to wear tighter things during her shadowing gig. not that she already hadn’t been—but it was definitely more skimpier than before. like a dress-shirt that was a little too short-revealing a sliver of her navel-or a long sleeve thin enough to show the color of her lacey bra. or a fitted v-neck sweater that ran a little too low at the chest.

god she was a mess. but she couldn’t help but mess with him.

one time she knew he was walking near her and she dropped a toy block on purpose, bending over right as he passed.

she only saw a glimpse of him-through her peripheral vision-but he immediately stopped. from the quarter of his face she saw he was beet-red by the time she straightened, giving him enough room to pass.

ugh, but it wasn’t enough. it wasn’t nearly enough. she wanted him and she wanted him to want her just as much. the semester was almost over and she didn’t know what to do.

pathetically enough, she landed in shiloh’s room. she watched her younger sister play with toy cars in front of a multi-level barbie palace on the floor.

she lay beside her, resting her face on her propped hands, “shi, what do i do?” she sighed.

shi made her cars stop, “do whot?”

kaori eyed her, “i don’t like mr.kamo.”

shi’s doll-like eyes widened and kaori already knew she was in trouble.

“liar.”

“huhhh?” that was the last response kaori ever expected, “did you just call your big sis a liar??”

she shrugged, resuming her task of making two toy cars smash into each other, “you like kamo, i like kamo.”

she stared at shi in stunned silence. in truth, shi and her had gotten closer ever since she began to shadow his class. in fact, shi went to her first sometimes when she needed help, which was a feat considering how much she liked ‘mr.kamo’. even at home she noticed shi wanted to spend more time with her. she supposed that was another thing to credit mr.kamo for.

god, why do i keep thinking of him?!

kaori sighed, placing her head down on the floor. “i need help.” she mumbled to herself.

here she was thinking about a kindergarten teacher while she had untouched college homework and upcoming finals to worry about.

she felt a toy car glide through her hair, “mista kamo help you, kamo help me when i sad.”

“thanks shi.” -_-

kaori was cleaning up the toys left on the carpet while the kids were at recess. it was nice to have some peace and quiet-or what would’ve been if mr. benson hadn’t decided to pop by.

in truth, she didn’t mind him as much now-since he came by less frequently-but whenever he did come he usually had interesting staff drama to share. she loved to eavesdrop on those convos even though choso seemed like he could care less.

to be honest he rarely looked like he cared about anything—or even, alive at that. except for when he was with the kids and during their little conversations (maybe she was just delusional).

she couldn’t help but believe it though. especially when she swore he was starting to smile more. she noticed he always smiled at her whenever she dealt with an issue amongst the kids—she hadn’t realized it’d become second nature for her to look to him to see if she’d done something right.

he was never a second late to offer her silent reassurance whether it be a nod or now, a smile. god, i am such a simp.

“bars?” his monotonous voice pierced through her thoughts, “you know i don’t go to bars.”

“oh, c’monn. its my birthday and i haven’t gotten shit-faced in a while. besides you haven’t met my new girlfriend, nai, yet. i really want you to meet her.”

she instinctively turned around, watching choso’s wide back-which faced her-as he seemed to be shuffling things around in his messenger bag. appearing to look for something.

“bars really aren’t my thing, benson.” he sounded distracted.

she placed the last of the displaced toys in the bin before standing up. dan immediately spotted her.

“kaori! you should come too. are you free this friday?”

choso immediately went still at that, glancing over his shoulder to find kaori right next to him. in her hand was the pen he’d been looking for.

he took it expressionlessly, though he couldn’t describe the turmoil he was feeling inside. it was a nonsensical thing really, but he had a habit of only bringing one pen with him wherever he went. he liked to use it until its last drop of ink before picking up another one.

and she’d found the exact pen he’d been using. he hadn’t even stated that he was looking for it and she’d known.

it wasn’t any of the pens from the cup-holder either, even though they all looked the same. it was the one with only a little bit of ink left, the exact amount he’d remembered seeing when he used it last.

he sure it was just a random compulsion of his, but to think she'd noticed...

“thank you.” he murmured.

she merely nodded before facing dan, “depends, what are you inviting me to?”

“my birthdays on friday and im inviting a few friends and colleagues out for dinner. we might hit a few bars after as well.”

dan suddenly paused, “wait, your over twenty one right?”

“yes.” lie.

“sweet,” he grinned, “then you should totally come.”

she leaned against choso’s desk, crossing her arms—completely unaware of choso’s eyes boring into her, “sure, i’ll come.”

“forreal? great! i’ll add you to the reservation.” dan whipped out his phone, appearing to do just that as he went on, “i’ll have choso forward you the details since he’s coming.”

“i am?” choso muttered.

“yes,” dan confirmed without a second’s hesitation. “you are, because you love and support me and cuz i’m your favorite co-worker.”

kaori pursed her lips to hold in her laugh.

choso rubbed his chin, “whatever helps you sleep at night.”

it was friday, the day of the dinner and choso still hadn’t forwarded her the details. she wasn’t sure if that was his way of saying he didn’t want her to come.

she currently stood outside the school, beside him. waiting for the last few kids parents to show up before she could take shi and head on home herself.

she finally built the nerve to ask him, “mr. kamo?”

he glanced over at her, “yes?”

“do you mind sending me the details for tonight’s dinner?”

she stared ahead as he faced her. she could feel him examining her as she bent over to let one of kids know that their parent was here and waved them off.

she looked back at him once the kid made it safely to their parents arms.

“you still want to go?” he asked, somewhat monotonously.

“yeah,” she then added, “do you not want me to?”

“no, no,” he shook his head, as if just now realizing that that was how his words could perceived, “i just don’t want you to feel obligated to that’s all.”

she laughed lightly, “i don’t feel obligated, don’t worry. i would never feel forced to show up to a party.”

he sighed, “right.”

she smiled a bit, “a birthday dinner won’t kill you, i promise.”

“how are you certain.”

her smile widened at his attempt at humor, “i’m not, but i’ll be there? it’s your job shadow’s duty to follow you around and help out right?”

his eyes narrowed doubtfully, “sounds too good to be true.”

was he flirting? his voice rumbled too much to tell. goddammit, why’d his voice have to be so deep?

she laughed, internally refraining from responsing with all the things her flirt-wired brain wanted to say as she spoke, “i’ll see you tonight, mr. kamo.”

he nodded before glancing down at shi-who was holding onto his finger. he usually let kaori go home when all the kids but shi had left.

he offered shi the most handsome smile, “bye, lo-lo.”

shiloh let go of his finger to clutch his leg, “bye kamokamo.”

just as shiloh let go of him and held onto her finger. she felt a firm hand grasp her elbow.

“wait.”

kaori glanced back, her heart immediately racing.

“do you need a ride? for tonight?”

yes in more ways than one, mr. kamo.

she quickly shook her head. she was hoping he would ask but she wanted to keep him on his toes-for now, “that’s alright. thank you though.”

he let go of her, “ ‘course.”

she stepped into the restaurant, feeling like an absolute bombshell. she knew there was no coming back from this but that was fine. she only had one more week left with him and it was all she could think about.

she wore a slip-style maroon mini dress that had the thinnest black straps known to man. there was a black net ruching at the bodice of the dress, emphasizing her bust just right. she’d used some heat on her hair as well, keeping her sparse bangs and layers swept in a way that made her look effortless yet feminine.

(a/n: in case anyone was curious here is the dress inspo)

she pressed her lips together, making sure her lipstick was still intact as she followed the waiter. she walked with perfect ease in her heels as the waiter gestured towards their private table.

she briefly adjusted her shrug before letting her eyes sweep over everyone at the table.

dan’s eyes brightened, “kaori!”

she saw his head turn in her peripheral vision before she met his gaze. his hair was down—my god, his hair is down. it looked so good, his hair was just a little shorter than her own length.

he wore a fitted, dark gray dress-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and she couldn’t perceive much else because she felt him looking at her. she watched his dark purple eyes take her in. his eyes gliding down her face, her neck, her chest and everything below before finding her eyes once again. the light flush on his cheeks-under his face tattoo-was all she wanted.

she greeted everyone but him at first, before making her way to the empty seat beside him. she sat down, easily slipping off her shrug to hang it over the back of her chair before facing him.

his dark eyes were already on her and she smiled gently, “hi, mr. kamo.”

“ms. everest.” he greeted.

she leaned back in her seat, “i think it’s alright if you call me kaori here.”

“is it.”

she nodded before reaching over to take the champagne flute and take a sip. the restaurant was nice, it was inside a hotel and she had to pass a lot of floors in the elevator to get here.

but nothing was as nice as the man beside her. she didn’t know what cologne he was wearing but god it was making her wet. it didn’t help that his dress-shirt was slightly more unbuttoned at the collar than at work. she swore she could see a peek of his chiseled chest. and the swell of his triceps above his rolled up sleeves?? she'd already guessed the man was built from the subtle outline of his body she’d perceived but—this built?

she just wanted to rip his shirt off.

“kaori,” he said, with that typical deep riff to his tone. she already wanted to hear him say it again, “you can call me choso.”

finally. she smirked slightly, “choso.”

she tilted her head, “i’ve never seen you with your hair down.”

something at the corner of his lip flickered, “i’ve never seen you in a dress.”

that was true. and almost as if it were instinct she watched his eyes glance down to her legs. it was then she realized that her mini dress had hiked up now that she was sitting—an ample amount of her smooth legs free for him to see.

totally not a planned occurrence ;)

he immediately looked away, she didn’t miss the way his jaw tightened.

“do you like it?” she asked innocently.

he didn’t answer right away. he seemed to consider something before he spoke.

“it looks nice.”

of course he would say that. she wanted to smack him in the forehead, but no. this was how he was, and it ultimately made this a lot more fun than she intended for it to be.

she rested her head on her propped hand, “your hair down looks nice too.”

not that she ever minded his hair up in those two spiky ponytails. she’d already asked him why he styled it like that and his answer was simple—the kids loved it.

“thank you.” he muttered.

“when did you get here?”

“just five minutes before you.”

“not bad.”

“i’m surprised you're as early as you are.”

she grinned. she usually was the type to be chronically late to everything. she honestly didn’t know how she had a job, or this job shadowing gig.

“i wasn’t gonna ditch you, don’t worry.”

he squinted at her and she smiled.

“what did you gift him?” she asked.

“i paid for his gym membership for the rest of the year.”

her eyes widened, “what?”

he shrugged, “we both go to the same gym-sometimes together but rarely.”

the thought of him getting all sweaty in the gym… should not have made her feel the way it did. she had to see that in person one day. and maybe help him with cardio.

god, she needed to calm down. maybe taking a few hits from her dab pen wasn’t the best idea.

she lightly tapped her nails against her empty champagne flute, “are you gonna get anything to drink?”

“i did but it doesn’t taste that great.”

he pushed a multi-colored drink towards her. she hadn’t even noticed it was on the table but now that it was in front of her she couldn't help but find the drink rather aesthetic.

“you picked this?” she asked, humor interlaced in her tone. most guys she knew would call something that looked like this a girl drink.

“are you judging?”

“not at all.” she moved the straw between her lips, “what is this?”

“a zombie cocktail apparently.”

she laughed before taking a sip. the flavors that burst into her mouth were quite welcoming.

“mmm, this is good. what are you on about?” she lightheartedly asked before drinking more.

“it’s too sweet for me,” he stated airily, “maybe it’s because i’m hungry.”

hungry for what?

she closed her eyes, sipping the drink until it was done. she set the empty glass down, “i’m hungry too.”

she was using a handkerchief to pat away any crumbs from her lips when dan whisper-yelled, “guys there’s actually a bar downstairs. let’s go, okay? let’s go.”

he was already drunk. he wasn’t able to sit still when the waiters came by to sing happy birthday, but she was able to get a funny video.

his girlfriend, nai, wiped a bit of marinara sauce from the corner of his lip.

“alright, alright, fool. they heard you. we’re all gonna go in a bit.”

she was in the elevator, staring up at him. somehow they’d gotten placed like this.

the elevator was packed with their crew so she couldn’t fault him but-god, when he was this close all she could smell was his cologne. something about it was sexy, bitter and masculine, intriguing in a way she couldn’t describe.

they’d been talking all night and she didn’t want it to end. a pang went through her as she remembered they only had one more week together. one more week until her job shadowing with him would end.

“you okay?” his voice seemed to travel down her temple.

she tried not to take note of how he had to lean a bit lower to speak to her. she glanced up at him again, prying her eyes off his chest.

“yeah.” her voice sounded weak and breathy to her own ears.

she didn’t know how he managed to hear her amongst the ruckus going on in the elevator especially with dan’s loud, drunk-ass but he did.

“you don’t have to go to the bar if you don’t want to.”

a flirty retort rested on the tip of her tongue, but her nerves suddenly came fizzling through. it was hard to think when he stood so close, and looked down at her like that.

“i- i want to.”

she watched him search her face.

“okay.”

the bartender handed her the drink.

“thanks.” she responded with a bright smile.

“i don’t think you should drink anymore than that.”

she glanced over to see choso seated on the stool beside her. he didn't know about her tolerance, and nor did he know that she was technically underage drinking butttt that was a problem for another time.

she tilted her head, “are you worried about me?”

she watched him run his teeth over his bottom lip, “depends. should i be?”

“does it look like i’m drunk?” she asked.

he observed her for a moment before answering, “not really but.. you’ve definitely drank enough to be.”

“what, can your wallet not handle it?” the drinks were really loosening her up.

he grinned-and something about it kicked off the most unruly butterflies in her gut.

she suddenly straightened in her seat, “honestly though, why won’t you let me pay for myself?”

she cradled the drink in her hands as she mumbled, “it’s not like we’re on a date.”

he easily removed the drink from her hands and set it back down on the bar. she knew he was afraid she would drop it.

she couldn’t help but notice how he sat facing her, his head resting on his propped arm. it was a small thing really but something about having all of his attention at once..

his low voice cut through the noise, “do i have to take you on a date to pay for you?”

she opened her mouth, ready to say whatever came to her tongue first until a man approached her.

she couldn’t hear what he said, all she noticed was the stark contrast of choso’s countenance now to when it was just them before. his jaw was clenched and the tilt of his lips betrayed a rather harsh annoyance.

she’d never seen him look this.. hostile.

she saw choso’s mouth move but couldn’t hear his response. all she knew was that his words were rather curt. no humor in them. no smile. no smile.

her fingertips touched his lips and his eyes flickered towards her.

all of the previous tension suddenly melted away from his features, “you didn’t want to talk to him right?” he asked lightly.

she shook her head.

“good.” he muttered against her fingers before he catching her wrist. he lowered her hand to her leg and lingered there a moment longer than he should’ve. his fingertips grazed her thigh, her skin was just so.. so soft.

he meant to quickly pull his hand away but suddenly she moved her hand was over his. keeping his palm flat against her smooth thigh.

“let’s go somewhere else.” she murmured quietly. he swore her eyes sparkled under the bar lights.

he was glad she said it because he wanted to leave too. he didn’t like all those leering eyes… on her.

it made him mad in a way that was different from the times he’d gotten mad before. he didn’t want to think too hard about it.

“let’s go.”

“kaori-“ he glanced over to see her in the passenger seat, her back partially facing him.

“kaori.” he repeated. she still didn’t turn around.

he reached over then, gently moving her hair aside with his knuckles before noticing that she was passed out.

shit.

he knew he could just look up her address in his student directory due to shiloh but.. she lived with her parents. how would her parents react to seeing him there? he assumed she’d already told them she was his voluntary teacher aide at this point, right?

he frowned. he couldn’t be too sure with her. what if she hadn’t told her parents she was out at a birthday dinner—or that she was staying out late at all? did she drive here herself?

he drove around the parking lot, eyeing the cars. he didn’t spot her car.

he pulled over then, glancing at her beside him once more. she lay curled up on the seat now, her legs drawn against her chest, with her hand loosely over her purse and shrug. her sparkly eyeshadow glimmering in the dim car lights.

kaori kaori kaori

she felt a something soft get thrown over her and immediately woke up. she quickly sat up, only to feel a firm hand grasp her shoulder.

“it’s me.”

he watched her anxious expression completely melt away the second she saw him. something inside him softened at the sight.

“did i.. fall asleep?”

he nodded, “yeah in my car.”

he reached for the glass of water on the coffee table and handed it to her. she gulped it down, taking long sips before setting it down and patting the couch space beside her.

he complied, outstretching his arms atop of the backrest as he plopped down. he was rather exhausted, his social battery was shot for the night.

she couldn’t help but take note of the few inches between them. she watched him lean his head back and close his eyes. he looked so relaxed. his adam’s apple bobbing slightly as he exhaled slowly.

her eyes dropped down to the few open buttons at his collar. had he opened more? she just wanted to open them all.

she closed her eyes for a moment, trying to gather herself before she opening them again to look around. his place was sparsely decorated but not entirely empty. it looked minimalistic, modern.

she was finally here.

“you have a nice place.” she complimented. truly, it suited him.

“thanks.” his voice rumbled before he raised his head and looked at her. “i- i can take you home if your ready.”

she shook her head, “i’m not ready..”

she kicked off the blanket off and stretched her legs atop his lap. “i think i need to rest more.”

his eyes immediately went to her legs, fuck, he wanted to touch them. he was supposed to move her off but..

he closed his eyes and moved her legs off of him, “kaori-“

“why do you do that?” suddenly she was straddling him, her pretty face right above his and her hands propped atop his shoulders. her groin merely inches above his.

his eyes were wide, “kaori-!”

“no.” she cupped his chin.

his eyes dropped down to see that her dress had hiked all the way up, above her hips. revealing the tiniest sexiest lace black panties he’d ever seen. he nearly groaned.

she yanked his chin up, “look at me.” she demanded.

“i am.”

his voice was so husky she nearly caved and kissed him but no- he needed to listen first. especially since his hands were digging into the couch’s backrest like his life depended on it. he was still holding back.

“why do you act like you don’t want me?” she demanded.

his dark purple eyes narrowed, “you already know everyone wants you.” he spat.

one of her hands fisted his collar as she leaned close. her face was directly above his now, her chest close to his chin.

“then why didn’t you act on it?”

“you’re my aide, for fucks sake. the sibling of one of my students. there’s too many—“ he flushed, barely able to get his words out, “-it's not app-“

she grabbed his collar tighter, her glare sharpening, “that didn’t stop you from thinking about me though, did it?”

his eyebrows skyrocketed.

"did you think i didn't see the way you look at me?"

"what way?"

"you check me out every morning."

his flush deepened as he gritted out, "do all your shirts have to be so tight?"

"if you had a problem you should've said so."

"you did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"what are you gonna do about it?"

she felt his muscles contract underneath her hand at his shoulder but he quickly looked away, “kaori, stop.”

he didn't meet her eyes until she loosened her grip on his collar.

“i-i’m a virgin.”

“what?” she nearly shouted.

his face was nearly crimson now, but she didn’t care. she didn’t understand how that was possible but something about the vulnerability and embarrassment in his expression made her believe him.

"is that supposed to stop me.." she murmured while cupping his chin, "that didn't stop you, did it? you still thought of me when you touched yourself didn't you."

“kaori—“ his eyes were blown wide, his breath staggering.

she lowered her hips slightly, still not touching his groin.

her hand slid down to his chest, “i still think you know what to do..”

she was careful to only use her fingertips when she played with the zipper of his pants.

“i think you know exactly what you wanna do to me..” she whispered, tearing the last shred of self restraint he had.

she almost screamed when he ripped off her panties with one firm tug of his fist. he unzipped his pants so fast it was just a blur, any shred of control she thought she had over the situation was torn away the second he grabbed her hips and sank her down on his cock.

he stared at her open mouth as she dug her nails into his shoulders. he was so fucking big, she couldn’t think.

she glanced down to see that he’d only managed to fit half of himself inside. half? wtf—there’s more? she glanced at him to see he was panting. his hands on her hips slowly raising her before bringing her down again, making her bounce on his cock.

“you feel so fucking good, kaori.” his fingers digging into her soft hips as his cock twitched.

“so tight.” he breathed out haggardly, still dragging her up and down his cock.

she kept a hand on his shoulder as she placed the other over his on her hip. she tried to move her hips with him but her thighs kept trembling.

she pressed her forehead against his, a low whine coming from her as he picked up the pace.

“y-your so fucking big, you know that?” she whined, biting her lower lip to keep her moans together. his cockhead was bumping into her most sensitive spots and she was trying not to think about the rest of his cock fitting inside of her.

“you got me like this.” he grumbled, “s’your fault.”

suddenly he forced her hips lower and she shrieked, “choso-!”

his lips were on her—kissing her hard, as his cock pumped fast and deep inside her. he kept her hips still as he fucked her. using all the strength his legs to let out his frustration. he would’ve nutted in her the second he got inside if he hadn’t masterbated before the dinner.

and yet, he was already close.

she broke the kiss, clutching his shoulders as she moaned and whined prettily. her long fingernails digging into his skin, sparking little bouts of pain that only made him thrust faster.

“c-chose! p-please-nnnngh! t’much—ugghh!”

he couldn’t think. it was like something else had taken over inside him. all he wanted was her, her.

the tip of his cock twitched inside her.

her nails dug into the back of his head, “choso, unnghh-y-you have to pull out—hnnngh, fuck! so good-“

he pounded into her the fastest his hips could let him. his cock was drenched in her juices, her body felt so fucking hot—so perfectly wet. her pussy was coiling around him like it wanted him to cum.

so he did, he couldn’t think. merely spewing thick loads of cum straight into her warmth.

she gaped, her eyes fluttering closed as she felt all of it. so much cum fill up her narrow insides. she felt it leak down her inner thighs and shivered. shivered hard enough that he held her shoulders.

“kaori,” he panted. his face was flushed, strands hair dark hair pasted to his forehead. “kaori.”

he pressed his forehead into hers, “m’sorry,” he lightly moved her hair out of her face as she fell into him.

“i can't—couldn’t stop,” he panted before groaning slightly as he shifted his hips, his cock still inside her. her insides were coiling and un-coiling around him. “you feel.. too good.”

suddenly she was upright, kissing him desperately, like her life depended on it. she hugged him tight, slipping her arms around him as he gripped her hair, keeping her lips on his as his cock drilled into her once more.

she was naked now, her hands flat against the table as his cock bullied into her.

she pressed her head down on the table, “f-fuck!”

his cock slammed in and out of her at lightspeed. she was sure he’d made all of himself fit inside her at this point. especially since she felt his balls slap her cunt with each rough fuck. he truly did fuck like he was pent up for a while.

she wasn’t sure if she could take it.

he groaned as she tightened around him. her juices squirting all over the place as he continued to bully her pussy.

she moaned so fucking loudly, she would’ve been embarrassed if she was watching herself.

he gripped her hips hard enough to hurt, she was sure there was going to be bruises later. his forehead pressed into the crown of her head, one his large hands cupping hers over the table.

“this is what you wanted right? hmm?”

he gritted out, his cock slamming into her at a punishing pace.

“y-yes! nnnnh-ohmy ohmy godnnchoso! choso!”

she came again, cumming so hard her legs shook and she no longer could lay still if he hadn’t been gripping her hips.

his voice was ragged, “good girl.”

she was spread open, on full display for him on his bed. she stared up at him and his muscular body as his cock moved inside of her. the insides of her thighs sticky with his cum.

“choso,” she moaned, weakly shaking her arms which were held down by his own. his fingers interlaced with hers.

“m’close, baby, i’m close.” he murmured into her cheek.

her back arched as she felt it. she felt his cockhead twitch inside of her and she knew she was gonna get addicted. addicted to feeling so full of his hot sticky cum, addicted to feeling so stretched by his thick curved cock.

“nnnnggggggh,” she whined. she was gonna loose it.

the bed shook his cock pounded into her. he knew the neighbors were gonna give him shit for the noisy headboard later but fuck, the way her tits swung with each rough fuck. god, he never thought he would get to see them.

nor did he think he would get to mark up the pretty skin of her neck. or kiss her so hard that lips would swell. she looked like a goddess, just waiting to get undone.

her tear stained eyes stared up at him, “kiss me, choso.” she begged. the simple order making his chest bloom with wanton.

he kissed her, with a bruising intensity. so forceful that he couldn’t hear how loud the noises of them fucking were. only focused on the feeling of her. of how her pussy suctioned his cock like it was made for him, like it craved him.

he groaned, pressing her body deep into the sheets as he ground his cock into her. spewing load after load in her perfect little cunt.

she awoke to his face in her neck and his firm arms wrapped around her chest. he was clutching her like she would escape.

she shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable only for him to squeeze one of her tits.

“stop moving.” he grumbled sleepily.

she froze before everything from last night flipped through her memory and she smiled girlishly.

she glanced over at him, at the head of dark hair buried in her neck and the broad back that followed it. she didn’t miss all the nail marks embedded in his skin.

now that he was finally shirtless she could see that his arms were truly a work of art. each muscle protruding against his pale skin and his veins—something about the way they traveled down his forearms made her swoon.

she bit her lower lip, “can i use the bathroom, mr. kamo?”

she felt him shift on the bed, groaning grumpily before mumbling, “you can’t shadow me after this.”

“that’s fine, we only had a week left anyway.”

he seemed to freeze at that, before raising his head from her shoulder, “you seem.. too okay with that.”

she turned over, resisting the urge to smile the second she saw his face. he was just so handsome— his dark hair was barely messy, merely framing his neck and face in a way that made him look like a hot biker. and the hickeys on his neck—myyy, she’d forgotten she’d done those.

she bit her lower lip to hide her grin once again, “well i got what i wanted out of it.”

he raised his brows, “what?”

she resisted the urge to laugh, “wellll there’s kind of a lot i should probably tell you.”

he leaned back more, as if wanting to clearly see her face as she said this. the crease in his brow deepened, “like?”

“you can’t get mad at me.”

“oh great." he shook his head as he joked sardonically, "as long as you don’t tell me you’re a minor i’m fine.”

“well..”

his face dropped.

“joking!” she giggled, “i’m joking. i’m actually nineteen.”

“what?!” he exclaimed, “i saw your ID. your twenty three.”

“that’s actually my fake ID.”

he ran a hand through his hair as he sat up straight, “christ, your closer to my little brothers age than mine.”

she followed him up, only to wince when her body suddenly ached all over. she decided to stay laying down, merely reaching her arm out to rest atop his leg.

“listen, i’m sorry. i should’ve told you but i just didn’t know how to bring it up-“

“that means you were drinking underage last night.” he was frowning.

she clutched his hand, “yes, i was. but who doesn’t?”

his frown turned into a glare.

she squeezed his hand, “choso, please! just hear me out. i know i shouldn’t have lied but i really like you.. i liked you the second i saw you and i wanted to get close to you but i didn’t know how.”

“you liked me the second you saw me?” he repeated doubtfully. “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“if i asked for your number the first day we met, would you have given it to me?” she asked while playing with his fingers.

he opened his mouth, eager to say 'yes' until it dawned on him. "..no."

"exactly. conflict of interest, right?"

his brows furrowed as he contemplated the situation. he chuckled dryly, "so that's why you asked to shadow me, hm? get some teachers-ed experience and talk to some eye-candy." he shook his head, "two birds, one stone."

“welllll,” she felt her face heat up, “i’m actually just a math major.”

“…and an education major. you double majored in both.”

“nope,” she pursed her lips, “just a math major.”

“WHAT?!”

[kneelingshadowsalome]

OK, I know you just re-opened ur asks (but please take a break if you need it!!) But the thought of Girl dad König has plagued my mind ever since that one post.

He's super protective. He's one of those "you're not dating until you're 35" or "I know how boys are like. They only want you for one thing," dads 🙄.

Any boy his daughter manages to bring around will only be threatened. König will accidentally drop one of the largest knives from his collection right in front of her boyfriend and be like "oops🙂".

Speaking of knives, all of his weapons will be stored away once his daughter is born. He doesn't want to risk her finding them and hurting herself.

Gosh. Girl dad!König is every fuckboy’s nightmare!

Manages to chase away even the good guys, every boy his daughter braves to bring home is a no-go for him. A bunch of losers and wankers, all of them, and after his pretty girl! Psh.

You could be kinder than Tom Hiddleston and you still wouldn’t be considered worthy of dating König’s daughter. Every candidate is sent home with their tail between their legs after an awkward, cold family dinner and a bunch of questions that feel like an interview. Or an interrogation... You desperately try to treat these boys with some level of respect, curiosity and warmth – to be honest they appear far more gentle and emotionally available than, ahem, certain someone you dated back in the day when he was not yet a Colonel.

And the father-daughter relationship is fucked up in more ways than one, because König tries to fix his emotional issues and the fact that he’s away most of the time by getting his daughter anything she needs. She wants to try ballet when she’s six? She gets the cutest pink princess tutu skirt and pointe shoes money can buy. Oh, now she’s into horseback riding? Suddenly she has private lessons with the best teacher in town, dons 500 e leather boots, a nice little riding crop and a test winner helmet + gets anything else she can dream of when tending to the horses. (You had to actively stop König from buying her a horse when she was 10)

Cello classes, gaming PC’s, downhill ski equipment, expensive yoga retreats – daddy's girl gets it all because König has to spoil her to bits. Not that he actively tries to carve out a brat of her by this princess treatment: he just wants his girl to have access to anything she wants. His Vögelchen is so talented in everything she picks up!

König shows pics of his daughter to his colleagues: look, she learned to swim when they were on vacation in Maldives! And look, here she won the local stable’s jumping competition, isn't she amazing? Now she’s into archery, and has her own recurve bow, but lately she’s started to get interested in boys, and you know what that means… Curfews, screen time and more chores! And NO BOYS.

She’s “only” 19, and comes home drunk once, brought by some young clown who, in König’s mind, tries to evade responsibility by giving him a sob story about how he only wanted to bring his daughter home because he was worried about her and well, actually, he’s in love with her… She’s a good girl and he wants to take care of her, he really appreciates her and blablabla, König is not impressed. That boy gets himself an earful as a reward, he's lucky König doesn’t slam a knife on the hood of that car.

(....No one has the courage to tell dad König that her daughter likes to smoke weed with the bad boys and dates some older biker guy from big city :”)

[rederiswrites]

I want to talk about my health journey over this last year, improving my function and getting better with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. But talking about chronic illness is so incredibly difficult. Look at the backlash people get for saying that exercise and sunshine and regular sleep really DO help depression. What I have to say is in many ways the same thing! It's an incredibly delicate issue, and very often, talking about solutions you can implement yourself sounds like blaming people for their own suffering. On the other hand, if all you hear is the conventional medical line that there's nothing but some medicine that sort of helps, that's where you're stuck. I was stuck.

I didn't want to hear that learning to fucking relax was going to be a huge component of my journey. That sounded like exactly the same shit the people who said "have you tried yoga" and the doctors who told me it was all in my head were saying! It's not, really. Not at all. It's missing far too many critical components. But uh....learning to relax is in fact incredibly important.

For example, yes, the pain is in my head. Pain is ALWAYS in our heads!! That is where the brain decides to interpret data received from the nerves as pain! It is ALWAYS heavily influenced by factors well beyond the objective experience. Science has thoroughly demonstrated that we can feel pain without an injury--indeed, that we can feel pain when the sensory input wasn't even on our body! And in the inverse, we can have injuries and not experience pain. Pain is not nearly as reliable a signal of injury as we believe it to be.

And yes! Yoga might help! It helps a lot of people! But if you go and do yoga with, say, a teacher who is not trauma-informed, or without at least some understanding of what your nervous system is up to, or the strains and trouble points in your body, you'll get little benefit and might experience harm.

The nervous system is our body's OS, in a very real sense, and for me as for many people, addressing that turns out to be really important to healing. But the nervous system isn't really designed to be user serviceable! So if it's being overreactive, constantly on high alert, keeping you in a stress response that physically blocks healing, feeling pain where there's really only a light and innocuous pressure, or maybe just a runaway inflammatory response that, like a highway traffic jam, is literally just creating itself-- well, fixing that is hardly a matter of just "oh silly goose you should stop that! It's all in my head!" But there are ways. Mindfulness techniques. Visualization. Meditation. I almost mistyped medication but it's actually true--a lot of the time fibro and ME/CFS patients get treated with antidepressants! It does help, for a while, but it doesn't change the underlying problem much.

For me, while I've tried and gotten benefit from some of those--actually, come to think, ALL of those things--pure information is my medicine of choice. Just exposing myself over and over to the message that you can get better, that people have, that there's nothing detectable mechanically wrong with me, to the science of physiology and the nervous system and pain. Books, TED talks, youtube videos, research papers, articles...

And most importantly, I had to commit. I had to reach a point where I said, I will do whatever it takes. No comfort, no habit, is more important than getting better, and I believe I can get better. No doctor ever told me that--I had to find survivors who had recovered online, largely by accident. Once I believed I could get better, working to achieve that goal became vastly easier. So I radically changed my diet. I restructured my days massively. I spent hundreds of hours consuming information that reinforced my hope and commitment and my understanding of the problems. I worked incredibly hard to get my sleep under control, and it's an ongoing process but there has been progress.

Today, I got out of bed before the second alarm that tells me to get off my phone and get up. Because getting up wasn't so crushingly hard. I didn't have a perfect night's sleep, but it was enough. Yesterday, and the day before, I worked steadily through the day, I accomplished my goals, and I didn't end the day crushingly drained OR bubbling with adrenaline from pushing myself beyond my normal limits. I don't need to recover, today. Because I didn't do more than I could sustainably do, and yet I made progress. I did laundry. Had great conversations. Planted three dozen tulips. Pulled weeds. Attended a webinar and learned how my state legislature works. Took care of the chickens. Ate a really healthy lunch that I enjoyed, and made the family a really healthy, delicious dinner. Caught up on the news with the family and then read a thought-provoking book. Made beads.

I still have a long way to climb on this spiral staircase. Probably the cold weather and midwinter will really challenge my ability to regulate myself and stay functional. I still have to incorporate regular exercise as a critical pillar of ongoing good health. I'm still struggling to find resources on meditation and mindfulness practice that I resonate with. (Three books in on that subject, one of which was interesting but annoying, two of which I actually quit in exasperation.) But I do really feel like I'm making progress that's not just luck or the usual fluctuation of symptoms. I am, in quiet ways, doing Pretty Okay. And that's a lot, when you've been bedbound.

[blushblushbear]

Wrote a quick fic of @ren-054's Vitya and Nimh based off a drawing they did of them (and also cause I think they make a dang cute little couple!)

Mildly suggestive, most just sensual!

more under the cut!

At the start of it, Nimh was just trying to be more flexible. 

He wasn’t getting any younger and it was never too early to start trying to take care of your body; but given his heart condition, anything high impact or high cardio was out. 

He had attempted a yoga class but it was just too much! And all of that relaxing new wave zen music blasting while he was struggling did not help to relax him actually…

So on a weird whim, he took up a dance class.

It was beginner ballet. He knows that’s probably a bit weird but something about it called to him. He wasn’t about to drop it all and be a dancer or anything, but he was enjoying himself!

Actually, what he was really enjoying was his dreamy teacher with the dashing smile. It wasn’t why he joined or anything, or even why he stuck to it for months, but he had to admit the first time that elegant ray of sunshine beamed into the class he felt his knees get a little weak. And it didn’t hurt that the teacher was probably one of the most chill and encouraging people he’d ever met. Between his pretty face and charming personality;

Yeah, Nimh had to admit it, he had a little crush going. 

He’d never act on it of course, he’s way too much of a coward for that! But just being able to be around him once a week, to see him glide around swan as he watched over the class, to see that smile, to hear that voice– it got him through many a tough week.

And occasionally when he felt his hand on him– supporting his back, adjusting his stance, stretching his leg just a bit further– it was accompanied by the feeling of his heart leaping into his throat. 

Not that Vitya needed to know that.

Oh yeah, and his name was Vitya. Just when Nimh thought he couldn’t get more dreamy… 

He was trying to clear his head and focus on breathing as he stood there, eyes closed, bent over, back straight, feet in an awkward fourth position because he couldn’t handle fifth yet, one arm outstretched as gracefully as he could manage (which is to say, not really at all), while the other death gripped onto the balance bar above so that he didn’t fall flat on his face… again… 

“Your face is turning red again.” Vitya’s voice sounded so close, and when Nimh opened his eyes, he nearly jumped when he saw Vitya’s face just under his. And so so close… “You’re holding your breath again.” Vitya said with a bit of a pout, “You need to BREATHE.” He took a deep breath in to demonstrate, making it all look so easy as he practically folded himself in half to lower his face to meet Nimh’s. Nimh took in a deep breath, and exhaled it shakily, his limbs wobbling a little making him feel even more embarrassed than he already did. 

“Excellent!” He chirped, rising to a full stand with seemingly no effort at all. “Alright class, deep breath in–” a collective inhale, “and as we rise, exhale out! Good!” Nimh was grateful Vitya had sauntered on, so he wouldn’t catch how shakily he lifted his back, or how red his face still was– albeit for… different reasons. 

Even though he enjoyed himself, Nimh realized he hadn’t gotten much more flexible in the months he’d been coming to the class. He wondered why he hadn’t just been kicked out at this point. And when Vitya called to him at the end of class, for a brief moment, he worried he was about to be…

As the rest of the class filtered out for the day, Nimh and Vitya were left alone. 

“Hey,” Vitya began, his smile still sweet, but his eyes seemed a bit more concerned, “I’ve noticed you’re still having some trouble… This was my last class for the day and I was wondering– if you’re down to stay a few extra minutes, I’d really like to work with you one on one for a bit.”

Nimh screamed internally. 

It was bad enough he had to deal with his dumb little crush head on in the moments Vitya hovered around him, but having to do that ALONE. 

“I mean– if you don’t have the time today that’s fine…” 

His brain was scrambling, trying to find a way to say no, but as he looked at Vitya’s face (his stupidly handsome face, as it pouted at him, hand on a cocked hip and the other hand hooked against his other arm in a pose only a dancer standing idly would pull) he couldn’t find it in him to turn Vitya down. 

“N-no, I have a few minutes I could spare…” Nimh stuttered out. Vitya’s face was immediately beaming.

“Wonderful, let’s jump right into it then!” 

Within a few minutes Nimh was back standing at the bar, posing the same as he had earlier, only now he had Vitya’s full attention as he shakily lowered himself.

Vitya circled him as he bent over, eyes studying Nimh’s movements. 

“I know it’s hard for you,” Vitya began as he came up behind Nimh, “but you have to bend lower.” Nimh felt Vitya’s hand on his lower back and a chill rushed up his spin as Vitya began to gently push him lower. “That’s it…” Vitya cooed, hand slowly sliding up Nimh’s spine towards his shoulder blades, “bend further… remember to breathe…” Nimh could hear the smile in Vitya’s voice, but it felt… different… almost coy… and as Vitya leaned over him from behind, pushing Nimh further down, he wondered which was more inappropriate; this position, or the fact that having Vitya behind him with his hand on his back was putting the wildest images into his mind. 

Images of his hot dance instructor. Images of said instructor bending him over like this to have his way with him. Images of Nimh panting as Vitya, firm but gentle, gave him everything he had…

Nimh exhaled out shakily (though shaky for different reasons this time), closed his eyes, and tried to clear his head. His heart was pounding, and he was certain he was blushing from ear to ear. Vitya chuckled behind him. Nimh had never heard Vitya sound so playful, as the words,

“Good, very good…” escaped Vitya’s lips and made Nimh’s knees go a little weak. 

And then Vitya’s hand was gone.

Nimh blinked his eyes open, suddenly remembering where he was. 

“And now, rise up slowly.” Vitya said cheerily, circling around again and landing towards Nimh’s front. Nimh rose up slowly, quietly cursing how all it took was one dreamy dance instructor to turn him into a pervert apparently. What had he even been thinking? He closed his eyes, and bit his lip embarrassed. 

Vitya smiled, cocking his head slyly at Nimh. 

“Your hips aren’t square enough.” Vitya said in a very matter of fact manner, “You need to keep your hips straight.” He walked over to Nimh again, coming around behind him once more as he set his hands on Nimh’s hips, moving them a bit forcefully into the correct posture. “See, like this, they need to stay like this as you move. They’re perfectly fine as you go down, but once you come back up they’re all tilted.”

Nimh heard Vitya’s voice, but he took in none of the words he said. The moment Vitya’s hands were on his hips, Nimh’s head went all fuzzy.

“Try it once more.” Vitya instructed.

“Wh–huh?”

“Bend over again, and this time try and keep your hips squared.” 

Oh GOD.

With a gulp, Nimh began to bend over once more. 

“That’s it. Nice and steady…” one of Vitya’s hands was on his back again, “Remember to keep your back straight. Yes, just like that!” 

Yep. Nimh was bent over in front of his sexy ass dance teacher while said sexy ass dance teacher was behind him with one hand on his hip and the other on his back.

And Nimh was internally screaming again. 

He couldn’t tell if this was a dream or a nightmare but wow was it sure fantasy fodder for later… 

He tried to not think about it as his cheeks burned and he rose back up slowly.

“There you go,” Vitya continued, hand still on Nimh’s back, guiding him back up just as steadily as he lowered him, “And then– you’re back up! Shoulders square, hips square,” Vitya’s hand smoothed to Nimh’s front as he pulled Nimh back a bit, “back straight.” Nimh chanced a nervous glance at Vitya whose face was so close to his, smile all beam and eyes focused in on Nimh’s face. “Perfect.” 

Nimh stood there frozen for a moment, until a small gasp made him realize he had stopped breathing again. 

“O-oh… Uh… I…”

“Once more.”

“Huh? Oh! U-uh…”

With Vitya’s hands still resting on him, Nimh began to slowly lower again. Vitya still guided him, but more lightly than before. And before Nimh knew it, he was doubled over in front of his teacher again.

“And back up,” Vitya’s hand slid up Nimh’s side, guiding him to rise again, this time stopping a little up his arm. “Excellent. And back down,” Vitya’s thumb that rested at Nimh’s hip gave a little push and once again Nimh lowered. It was starting to feel a lot easier with Vitya guiding him. His hands helping to ease Nimh into the movements. He didn’t mean to, but he felt himself give his body over to Vitya’s control. It was forceful and gentle, bright yet sly, demanding yet sweet, and most of all– playful.

After a few more bends, Nimh eased back against Vitya again, stretching up and draping himself over his form as he panted lightly. His cheeks were flushed, eyes half lidded and mind hazy as he looked back at Vitya, who greeted him with a warm yet knowing smirk.

“There you are. See, you were practically in half on that last one.” Nimh was only half paying attention to Vitya’s words. His body felt so closely pressed against his, Nimh’s eyes on Vitya’s lips with a sudden urge to kiss him. Vitya noticed… “Nimh… you… you like me don’t you?” Nimh’s eyes went back to Vitya’s, lips pressing into an embarrassed line. Nimh couldn’t say it, but his expression answered for him. Vitya chuckled, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you out like that. I just…” his hand slid up Nimh’s arm and took his hand, never breaking eye contact as he lowered it and giving it a small kiss. “I’ve noticed.” Vitya winked.

Nimh snapped back to reality, whole face turning red as he took a step away from Vitya, hands covering his mouth and eyes wide. 

Vitya cocked his head curiously.

“Sorry… was that not alright?” he asked, eyes soft with concern.

“No… I MEAN– NOT ‘NO’ NO! NO! I MEAN, YES! I MEAN—” Nimh’s eyes darted around the room trying to get a grip, “what I mean to say is…” he paused, looking over at Vitya. He let out a small sigh, “I was just… surprised… is all… that was fine… b-better than fine actually…”

Vitya smiled, stepping closer to Nimh, who was still a stammering mess, but he didn’t step back. Vitya leaned in close, took Nimh’s hand again, and gave it another kiss.

“Good. I really was hoping to keep helping my favorite student.” the word ‘favorite’ dripped out of his mouth like honey and with another playful smirk he leaned in closer and whispered against Nimh’s ear “Though next time, I would like to give a more… private lesson.”A shiver ran up Nimh’s spine. Vitya pulled back and, with a look that was a mix of sly and puppy dog, asked, “Is that alright?” 

Nimh nodded like crazy in response.

“Wonderful!” Vitya beamed. He pulled his phone out, and with a playful smile said, “Give me your number, and we’ll work on some real flexibility together.”

[bomberqueen17]

*vibrating slightly in place*

So ok. When I was in kindergarten, my classroom was arranged so that four desks were linked together, so we were in little groups. I used to regularly vibrate my desk and the three it was attached to, with three other children in them, across several feet of floor space, until the linked desks ran into the teacher's desk, which was larger and did not move with the force of my vibrations. I was a good student, but hard to control, and markedly uneven in my ability to like. Do anything. "Well," my mom said once, upon beholding my entire spectrum of a report card, "we'd just hate to be bored."

When I graduated with my bachelor's degree, seventeen years later, my mom said "I never thought you could do it," and when I, shocked, said "what?" she said "well what with your ADHD and all," and I said "my what?" and she said "well, i never wanted to shake your confidence, and I thought once they put a label on you it'd be over, but you super have like, turbo ADHD. Why, what do you think your deal is?" She said it nicely and not in those words at all, but it was the first time I'd ever really realized that I wasn't just mildly eccentric, I did seem to actually have something wrong with me.

I've been trying to get a diagnosis ever since. I've never been able to. I had no health insurance at all for a huge chunk of my twenties, which put a damper on things. One doctor told me "you'd know if you had that" and when I was like "I... do" she was like "no i mean. you'd already be being treated." Which shows a wild and totally unwarranted optimism in our medical system, but she was a resident. The doctor overseeing her care of me suggested I try taking fish oil capsules. To "rebuild my brain tissue".

I did. It didn't help. I still buy them but mostly I use them now to get my cat to take pills.

Eventually in my 30s my doctors started sort of believing me maybe, or at least realizing they couldn't really brush me off (I have gotten... less easily-cowed as I've aged) but they were all like "oh, I can't evaluate that. You'll have to research and find a place that can do a neuropsych eval for you. Insurance doesn't cover those. So good luck. Have some antidepressants in the meantime."

I slid into my 40s, still undiagnosed. I read as many self-help books on the topic as I could find, did all the checklists I found. They all said "girl you super have like turbo ADHD." I tried meditation. I tried divination. I tried bullet journaling, which was hilarious. I tried yoga.

I actually damaged myself doing yoga and am banned from yoga, but at least I'm in physical therapy now. (Word to the wise: if you have really really flexible hip joints, don't fucking do yoga. "Usually I don't have to tell people not to get into that position," said my bemused physical therapist. "Oh," I said, blissfully bepretzeled. "It feels super good." "Mm," she said, "you've torn your labrum. Stop doing that." Now I do really, really boring stretches that don't feel nearly as good, but I also can walk without limping, so. Like. We take the good with the bad I guess.)

Anyway. My PCP in January was like "wait you didn't follow my super vague directions to go see 'the guys downstairs' and see if they can squeeze you into their eleven-month waiting period to get an evaluation that i cannot mention without saying it's several thousand dollars and your insurance surely won't cover it? you must not want this diagnosis very badly!" (At no point has anyone ever given me a phone number for 'the guys downstairs'. I still don't know what she meant by any of those directions. This PCP and I technically speak the same language but I've never understood a single thing she has told me and I don't think she understands a word I say in return, everything I tell her seems to be such a shock to her. You blame antidepressants for your weight gain? I've never heard of that. Ma'am please look up what the incredibly common side effects of antidepressants are.)

I called around but noplace both took my insurance and was accepting new patients. Finally I gave up. Then my Dude went on our insurance company's website and took over the search. He found that there's some kind of concierge service thing, which the insurance company normally charges $450/mo for but our plan includes it, because it's pretty well-hidden on the website and most people aren't ever going to find it anyway. So he said, you know what, I am going to instigate a query on this.

They took two weeks but eventually came back with a list of 13 places, most of them not remotely local. Ten of them were red X's, disqualified for varying reasons-- one because the phone number didn't work, another because it's a seven-hour drive away and doesn't do telehealth. One was in New Jersey. None of them were the local places I had already called.

Two of them were valid, but the insurance wouldn't cover the evaluation for various reasons.

One of them was fully covered, the insurance company said. So I went there.

Their website said "no you're not we can't see you". But Dude was like, call them on the phone. Surely, surely, the concierge service couldn't have lied??? Bet, I said, and called them and left a message, and said to him, if they call me back I will eat a hat.

But they did. They called me back. "Our insurance checker widget is down," they said. "But we do take your insurance! We can see you. We just don't know how much it will cost."

Ominous.

But. They could see me later in the week, via a telehealth appointment.

So I signed up.

The appointment was this morning. I turned up. Their insurance checker thingy still wasn't working so they couldn't be sure how much the appointment would cost me. I at this point don't care, and gave them my HSA credit card, and said do what you will.

I waited 45 minutes and then texted the number they'd texted me from with the confirmation, and a moment later the guy showed up. "Whoops," he said, "that system isn't working quite right either!"

He talked to me for like. Three minutes, and was like "yeah that sounds. Pretty textbook. I'm going to prescribe you stimulants." He then proceeded to take a very basic medical history, and I recognized all the questions because I have researched stimulant medication for ADHD so much. And he was like "We're going to start with Adderall, check at your pharmacy in like an hour." And then he gave me extremely useful and detailed instructions on how to take it, when to take it, what side effects to worry about, what to expect, what to note down in case it might mean a problem, and how to be safe about it. (He asked me three times if I'd ever been suicidal, and it had also been in the online pre-screening. I am aware that can be a rare but very serious side effect of stimulants!)

And then I went to Rite-Aid and I now have 16 pills in my possession, and i am going to wait until tomorrow morning to start taking them, and I am already scheduled for my follow-up in 15 days.

I have absolutely no idea how much any of that is going to cost, but for the record the pills were eleven dollars.

So. I don't know why the last decade of my life has been spent being told that a comprehensive and unattainably expensive neuropsychological evaluation was my only option. Maybe this place is a disreputable pill mill or whatever. But. I am going to get to try to medicate this disorder that has warped my entire life to this point, and I am going to try to see if I can't have some more control over my life, and if it doesn't work then at least I will know, instead of on my deathbed being like "i wonder if i'd ever tried amphetamines maybe I'd have been able to finish a project ever in my life, guess we'll never know".

Which was what I was starting to genuinely think was going to happen.

Literally though why can't a primary care doctor just refer you to a psychiatrist who can then decide whether you need an assessment or whether your condition is likely to respond well to a basic diagnosis?? I get needing the whole nine yards if you're not sure what's wrong with this kid and you don't want to give them the wrong thing-- like I know misdiagnosing a bipolar sufferer with depression can give you really bad outcomes, for example-- but-- I don't know? I don't know.

I just want to be able to start and finish projects. What I'd really love is to be able to make to-do lists meaningfully, as that is an ability I did used to have and now absolutely don't. I legit cannot make a to-do list in any meaningful or useful way.

So we'll see. I'm going to keep a journal and the real test of whether the pills work is to see whether I can actually keep the journal.

But I need to find some kind of edible hat, at some point, just to keep my word.

[stcverogers]

JANUARY FIC RECS!

fics that i’ve been reading and obsessing with over the month of january

this is extremely important and i take this very seriously out of respect for the community. please do remember to read the rules for the respective blogs before interacting with or reading them.

F: fluff A: angst S: smut

𖥻 - series /multi part

masterlist

BUCKY BARNES

F: how's your head? by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky you and bucky didn't exactly have a meet-cute. your first encounter is you bleeding from your head.

F: bucky being shy around a girl he likes + part 2 by @ro-is-struggling

F + A: through his eyes by @sebbytrash 𖥻 ever since bucky came to the compound, he always thought you were familiar. when he slowly regains his memories as the winter soldier, he is horrified.

F: pastel colours by @the-canary 𖥻 mr barnes, the physics teacher, seems to have a thing for stealing pens. you, an avid stationary collector, cannot stand it.

F + A: caught in the fire by @dreamwritesimagines 𖥻 growing up in a bakery right in the middle of a mob neutral zone, it’s no surprise you and bucky barnes become the best of friends. life gets in the way and you facing circumstances. whether you let bucky stand by you through it all is up to you.

A: say it by @sgtjbuccky 𖥻 you love bucky with all that you have. sacrificing yourself to save him included.

F + A: the new recruit by @angstysebfan 𖥻 you and bucky were in a good place. a new recruit to shields threatens to take it all away

F + A: picture perfect by @writingsoftheloser 𖥻 you're steve's fake girlfriend to help make his crush jealous. you meet his best friend and fall in love with him. all while trying to keep up your facade with steve.

F + A: something domestic by @fandoms-writings 𖥻 a majority of bucky's adult life has been dedicated to the military. losing an arm and being discharged leaves bucky to try and rediscover who he is, even if it meant living a hundred miles away from the city in the middle of nowhere.

F + A: heart of glass by @buckybabesonly you and bucky rarely had disagreements, let alone he be angry at you.

F + A: accidentally in love by @creativebeang 𖥻 sargeant barnes was a complete hardass. he always had something to critique you about. a mission gone wrong flips a switch in his head and suddenly he's all over you.

F + A: the ask out by @delaber bucky barnes is no longer the charming boytoy he once was. it's completely evident in his interaction with you.

F: old fashioned by @demxters bucky was traditional, old fashioned, nothing like other men of current times.

F + A: personal ghosts by @fandoms-writings you lose bucky to the snap and he presence looms over you even after he's gone

F + A: they don't know you the way i do by @themorningsunshine bucky overhears a conversation between a few agents, agreeing with what they have to say about him.

A: out of time by @drailyter all good things must come to an end, your relationship included

F + A: the outbreak + part 2 by @stxrvel in your head, a self sacrifice is nothing as compared to a successful mission. bucky thinks differently and it causes your friendship with him to crumble.

F: missed you by @stuckylaufeyson bucky comes home from work missing you more than usual.

F + A: relationship tutor by @samingtonwilson 𖥻 bucky is infatuated with natasha rudolph, who you happen to know from your yoga class. you reluctantly agree to be his wingwoman.

F + A: looking for a heartbeat by @justreadingfics 𖥻 you left without a word 2 years ago to finally pursue what you have been searching for your whole life. you're back in new york now and it seems that bucky's long moved on from you

F + A: vacant mirrors by @whirlybirbs 𖥻 the blip chipped away at everyone. you were no different. dr hart shares an office with fellow therapist dr raynor. this meant that you shared a waiting room with one james buchanan barnes.

F + A: time after time by @justsomebucky 𖥻 at just seven years old, your parents got divorced. you move in next door to the barnes family. it's only right that you became friends with bucky.

F + A: until his last breath by @witchywithwhiskey bucky comforts you after a break up with your long-term boyfriend.

AARON HOTCHNER

F: mess of mine + i'm a mess but by @hotchgirlsummer you are far from SSA hotchner's type. he usually goes for those older, mature. not adorably clueless women who work at a clothes shop.

F + A: 'tis the season by @happiest-hotch 𖥻 hotch needs his family to get off his back when he visits them for the holidays. you come up with the terrible idea of being his fake-date. what's worse? you have feelings for him.

F: the mark of a lover by @wildflowerluver aaron hotchner is not a touchy person. the five times hotch has to adjust to your physical affection and the one time he embraces it

THE BATMAN

F + A: all for us by @the-daydreaming-show 𖥻 jason's death had been tragic for the waynes. you will do whatever it takes for you to be the happy family you once were.

F + A: one bad day... by @a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all 𖥻 bruce refuses to avenge jason's death due to his moral code. you, however, do not share the same morals as him.

S: the billionaire affair by @kaleidoscopewritings19 𖥻 you and bruce rekindle an old flame, despite being married.

[magumsilvarum]

Spirits and their common uses and misconceptions

So today I wanted to talk about a few spirits which, not much is so far known of through literary writing, but more so through celestial knowledge. (each spirit will have its own section)

The Pythoness - many Christian and Judea religions view the pythoness spirit as a demon like spirit that is meant to steer one away from Gods path and imbue one with negative thoughts such as death and sickness through the mind, yet I've personally found and many civilizations prior and after that the story is not as such. In yogic practices there is a certain breathe and practice of the kundalini. Kundalini is the term for "a spiritual energy or life force located at the base of the spine", conceptualized as a coiled-up serpent. The practice of Kundalini yoga is supposed to arouse the sleeping Kundalini Shakti from its coiled base through the 6 chakras, and penetrate the 7th chakra, or crown. This allows for an open pathway as a connection to God, elevated spirits and the spirits of the afterlife, our ancestral spirits, within celestial planes. In buddhism giant serpents were seen as protectors of the dharma, the truth that liberates us, standing strong against any attack. Many psychics, seers, mediums, witches and tarot card readers tend to have a spirit who knows one of two things about divination, prophecy and esoteric knowledge, but the pythoness spirit is looked at more like the all seeing eye or the eye of ra and horus. In greek mythology Leto the great she-wolf was cursed to never give birth upon the land as Hera set her out to be cursed by her daughter and for Gaia to not allow her to give birth to her two children. Through Zeus' interference Leto was able to give birth to both Artemis and Apollo. Later Apollo went to go slay a Snake that had threatened Leto and therefore gained the ability to turn into a snake himself. He declared the island previously known as Pythos to be Delphi and as the God of prophecy later became a hub for those seeking answers from great oracles once a year, known as Pythias. These women were great prophets and witches alike that danced with fire and tamed snakes to dance along with them protecting the island from attacks and monsterous threats as to pay respect to Apollo. These were women and men of wild nature who allows there instincts to guide them through the understanding of the great divine. One with nature they became medicine workers, prophets, seers, musicians, dancers, pyromancers, snake charmers, witches and mages and dream weavers.

These great spirits are revered as a highly elevated court in spiritualist practices, sometimes just perceived as the spirits of tarot decks or oracular objects they are forgotten as being far too complex to be seen as just that. Through the force of light they bring great aid to those they are on spiritual journey's with, they rid of hexes, curses and spiritual illnesses. They guide through prophetic dreams, clairvoyancy, clairsentience, clairaudience and mediumship. They are capable of conjuring powerful spirits and the spirits of the dead (necromancy), as well as a straight line communication to God, gods and goddesses. They move through the celestial tides of the universe and bring forth great health, wealth, abundance, freedom and spiritual knowledge to those they favor. They are quite benevolent spirits who help bring in death or the spirit of change for the better and to rid old stubborn ways of the past. They are great teachers of dark and light magic. They aid in learning and music as well. Helping those with charisma and the ability to enchant and/or charm enemies and others alike. They have such affinity towards chocolates, gold, silver, wine, fire, candles, light, mirrors, divination tools, water, flowers and floral scents, perfumes, snakes and music. There number is 7 and their flower is the rose, particularly the white rose, but other colors are fine as well. They also enjoy sunflowers, as they venerated Apollo, and the Anise star. Their colors are Red, burgundy, gold, emerald green, white, silver, purple, and brown. Yet each is different and might prefer a royal blue for all we know each spirit is different to another so getting to know ones spiritual court is quite important. Stones like diamond, ruby, jade, emerald, citrine, labradorite and amethyst can be given to such spirit as well as Selenite and Amber each representing Artemis and Apollo. These spirits can sometimes be confused with a better known spirit Santa Martha la Dominadora. You may even have both within your spiritual court, but they two hold many similarities.

Prayer to the Pythoness

O Blessed Pythoness, I invoke your humble yet wild nature into my life, I give you thanks for the visions told and untold and for the sight to see my path clearly. May your connection to God and all living things be great and full of love and respect. May your tides of wisdom bring peace to the land and bestow upon me and my loved ones a blessed hand. Lady of the fire, imbue me with your holy flames may they burn away all evil done unto me by others or by my own hand. May your light charm those who seek no good into doing acts of kindness and greatness and may your soothing voice bring sweetness and riches to the land and seas. You the one who tamed the dragon and serpent to your gracious hand. Tame my enemies and bring good fortune to those in need. Help the world against devastation and may your great cobra bring forth the promise land. Lady of the land and sea, conjure your celestial winds to protect me and bring good news from the heavenly lands. Through the eye of the one who can see I plea to you humbly and in need. As it is. So mote it be. Amen

Say this prayer with Psalm 91 3x and Psalm 4 3x under the flame of a white(or yellow) light end with a Glory be. It will help receive divine messages through divination or prophetic dreams and help transmute negative energy and protect against evil eye.

Oracion a La Pitonisa

O Bendita Pitonisa, Yo invoco tu humilde y salvaje espiritu de naturaleza entre mi vida, te doy las gracias por los visiones contado y no contado y por la vista para ver mi camino claramente. Que tu conexión a Dios y a todas criaturas vivas sea lleno de gran amor y respeto. Que las olas de sabiduria traen paz a toda la tierra y otogar a mi y mis seres queridos tu mano bendicida. Mujer de los fuegos, envuelvame con tus llamas benditas que me liberan de cualquier maldad sea enviado por enemigos o que han nacido de mi propia mano. Que tu luz encandile a los que no buscan el bien y les transformas hacer actos de carino y grandeza y que tu voz encantadora trae dulcisimiento y riquezas a la tierra y los mares. Tu que haz vencido el serpiente y el dragon con tu mano graciosa. Ayuda al mundo contra la devastación y que tu tierra prometida sea traido por tu gran cobra. Mujer de la tierra y mar, protejame con los vientos celestiales y que traen buena noticias del cielo. A través del ojo del que puede ver te suplico humildemente y de necesidad. Como es. Asi sera. AMEN