#once again you're welcome to agree or fight me in the comments

[brettyimages]

It’s been 4 weeks since I last caught up with a Record Review Post so icymi, rating everything in my and my family’s record collection lets go

#167 - Paramore mix CD, 6/10 This is everything that was in my iTunes that I didn’t have already aka All We Know Is Falling plus b-sides and covers and stuff. Nothing on it is *bad* but it’s all sort of average and not indicative of how I feel about Paramore overall at all! Highlights: You Ain’t Woman Enough (To Take My Man) is a perfect cover

The 1975 - The 1975, 9/10 I got into this band just as the second album was coming out so for a couple of weeks I was just lying in my room listening to this all the time and I still love her.  Highlights: MENSWEAR my beloved my angel, you cast a spell on me every time and I will adore you forever and ever. Honorable mentions to Sex (the only 1975 song I liked for the first 3 years) and Pressure, the 90s boyband song but somehow Matty

The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead, 9/10 The first album I ever bought on vinyl and it’s a little scratchy in places but that adds to the magic.  Highlights: I Know It’s Over breaks my heart. Honorable mentions to the last 3 songs even though two of them are ~funny songs~ and not Serious Music, still love them

#188 - mix CD, 7/10 It’s all 80s music that I rescued from my last laptop in its dying days and there are some classics on here but mostly good with a few great moments and only one that’s perfect. Highlights: I Just Wanted To See You So Bad by Lucinda Williams. I think about this song ALL THE TIME. 

AFI - Decemberunderground, 9/10 This was a formative album for me, it came out when I was 13 and AFI really did a lot to inform what kind of adult I became. I listen to it every winter and as I get older I see more of their 80s/90s alt influences and not just the screamo that I appreciated as a teenager.  Highlights: 37mm is one of my favourite songs of all time, it’s so dark and sexy and delicious, like “press me to your lips and I’ll suck the poison out and put it in me”???? Inject this into my veins.  Honorable mentions to The Interview, Love Like Winter, The Killing Lights and their cover of Head Like A Hole, which should be on Spotify.

High Voltage - A Brief History Of Rock (free with Kerrang! Magazine in 2006), 3/10 I got rid of a lot of my rock mag CDs but held on to a few that I thought were good. It turns out this covers album wasn’t as good as I remembered and there’s now a space in my CD tower.  Highlights: Fall Out Boy’s cover of Start Today is what I kept this for, it’s the one great song out of the 15 and I love the way Patrick sings it. I also like NOFX’s cover of Straight Edge even if they do it in a jokey lounge Louis Armstrong style. Lowlights: the rest is average-to-bad but the nadir is Arch Enemy’s Symphony Of Destruction, I find their style unlistenable. I also hated Biffy Clyro covering Buddy Holly by Weezer; this was just before they went commercial so it’s 5 minutes of weirdo math rock shit. 

#35 - mix CD, 6/10 All the artists start with A and I reckon this is from about 2008 and I intended to work my way through my entire iTunes library backing stuff up but I only got to C. It’s a real mixed bag of great and terrible.  Highlights: AFI’s cover of Just Like Heaven is perfection, my introduction to The Cure and it makes me so emotional. Do Me A Favour by Arctic Monkeys is also on here and also a perfect record.  Lowlights: there are a few. Atreyu are on here and so is a dreadful pop-punk cover of Miley Cyrus’ The Climb by a band I’ve never heard of. Both of those are bad but worse still is Attack Attack! - it turns out I am so over that clean vocals/screamed vocals genre. The absolute worst, though, is Kleiner Hai by Almuel, which is a fucking dance record made from that viral video from 15 years ago of the woman singing the (German???) song that morphed into Baby Shark a decade later. Truly the bottom of the pile. 

Arctic Monkeys - AM, 9/10 My fave of their albums probably, all killer no filler. Definitely my favourite era aesthetically anyway, the Alex Turner look still has me twirling my hair and kicking my legs. Highlights: No. 1 Party Anthem is maybe my fave AM song, at least top 5. Also perfect are Do I Wanna Know?, R U Mine?, Arabella and I Wanna Be Yours.

#118 - mix CD, 7/10 I drew a venus symbol with an anarchy A inside the circle, which is probably some kind of TERF image now but this mix has some punk and some girl pop on there so that’s what I was going for. Again it’s a real mix of whatever I had downloaded but not backed up yet and just shoved into a CD without much thought. Highlights: Ring Ring by The Skints - I love this song, I want to call it reggae but it’s not quite, it’s in that kind of arena but I don’t know the exact subgenre. Anyway the lyrics are kinda sad but it sounds like summer. Sat In Your Lap by Kate Bush - no explanation needed. You Don’t Own Me by Lesley Gore - I used to be properly obsessed with this song but now it’s been in ad campaigns and has become ubiquitous it’s fallen off my “favourite song ever” list. It’s still incredible though.  Lowlights: Real Girls by Chantal Claret - the whole ‘real women had curves’ thing makes me uncomfortable. Cups by Anna Kendrick - I liked Pitch Perfect but this isn’t really a song, is it. 

Suede - Coming Up, 10/10 The level of perfection in this album, thank you Richard and Neil! It’s slightly less perfect than DMS maybe but it’s still a 10. Tied to some wonderful memories of seeing them play it in full 6 times last Autumn <3 Highlights: Lazy is potentially my favourite Suede single and is instant serotonin. I think that over half of this album is absolute perfection though so really most of it is a highlight.

McFly - Obviously and Room On The 3rd Floor CD singles, 6/10 I invested in McFly for their whole first album era and then dropped them immediately for the harder stuff (went to high school and started buying Kerrang!) so I have all of the CD singles from the first album. They’re not really worth keeping as the b-sides are just okay. Highlights: Obviously is the best song of the set which is why it was the second single, I guess. Lowlights: They put an Interview on one of the singles which I always find a bit cringe, unless it’s built into music like FGTH did, but there is a cute moment where they call a fan who sent in her number. Their cover of Deck The Halls is throwaway and the live version of Room On The 3rd Floor is patchy. 

Timespace - The Best Of Stevie Nicks, 4/10 I rescued this from the discount bin at the charity shop I worked at because I thought I liked Stevie Nicks, but it turns out her solo material is not for me and I’m going to re-donate. Highlights: Edge Of Seventeen is on here, enough said.  Lowlights: most of the album is in the ‘fine, but I don’t need to hear it again’ category but there was one ballad called Beauty & The Beast that was worse than the rest. 

#10 - mix CD, 8/10 I think this is from 2006 and the surprisingly high rating is largely due to the fact that every second song on here is by AFI. It’s got half of Decemberunderground plus whatever older stuff immediately grabbed me as I was first getting into them. The rest is mostly emo for teenage girls, which is what I was.  Highlights: 37mm by AFI, which I already mentioned in my Decemberunderground review, same with Head Like A Hole. Outside of AFI, The Middle by Jimmy Eat World is on here and so is Ruby Soho by Rancid - two Scuzz TV classics. Lowlights: the opening track is Technicolor Eyes by Backseat Goodbye, who was an acoustic emo boy singer off MySpace who I backed. I used to say this was my all time fave song because it was a) obscure and b) full of references to hip stuff like Bright Eyes and Eternal Sunshine. The original version of Sorry You’re Not A Winner by Enter Shikari is here too, and even though I associate it with great memories of teenage nights out (doing the clapping at the start, obv), I don’t need to hear it again.

Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster EP, 6/10 I was a Gaga hater in this era and picked up this album in the charity shop discount bin again. I don’t dislike any of the songs on this EP but I don’t think any of it is exceptional. Highlights: Bad Romance and Telephone are both outstanding pop songs, but you knew that.

Young Guns - Ones And Zeros, 5/10 I listened to the first Young Guns album a lot, and the second one a bit, but by the time this one came around I was just supporting them because they were one of the bands in my orbit. I liked the pre-release singles but I don’t think I ever sat down and listened to this album so even though I have a signed pre-ordered copy, I’m not keeping it.  Highlights: the singles - Rising Up, I Want Out, Daylight and Speaking In Tongues - are all catchy, and I like the understated ballad, Die On Time, too.  Lowlights: as I have the deluxe edition, it includes demos and a remix of I Want Out, which is horrible. The album came out in the dubstep years so you can imagine how dated it sounds already.

#131 - mix CD, 9/10 This is my dance music mix and it is full of bangers, not a bad song on here. It’s a mix of modern (for the time, 2015ish) and classic. I love! tacky! eurodance! Highlights: so many. Into The Groove by Madonna. Stay The Night by Zedd and Hayley Williams. Mr Vain by Culture Beat. Informer by Snow. Show Me Love by Robin S. I’m A Slave 4 U by Britney Spears. 212 by Azaelia Banks. Amazing. Lowlights: all good but a few aren’t classics and they’re the newer ones - Pound The Alarm by Nicki Minaj. Starstrukk by 3Oh!3 and Katy Perry. The LA Riots Remix of 17 Crimes by AFI. The fact that these are the worst songs on here says a lot for the overall quality.

Set It Off - Cinematics, 4/10 I saw this band supporting Tonight Alive sometime in the mid-10s and was so impressed that I bought the album off one of the band when they were walking around the crowd with a box of them after their set. It’s post-MCR theatrical emo-pop and my love of it was very short-lived, not a keeper. There’s nothing on here that I’d care to hear again.  Lowlights: Freak Show has a repeated lyric that goes “I’m a circus freak” or something, which is very teenage. The worst, like with Young Guns, is the dubstep remix of I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead that they’ve tacked onto the end of this deluxe edition. 

80s - mixtape, 10/10 I made this mixtape in about 2017 when I was getting heavily into the Trainspotting soundtracks and Depeche Mode. It’s all recorded from 7″s from my dad’s collection.  Highlights: Relax and Two Tribes by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Sheila Take A Bow by The Smiths. Only You by Yazoo. Are ‘Friends’ Electric? by Tubeway Army. The whole thing is great but all of these are contenders for my favourite song of all time.

Suede - Suede, 10/10 Another perfect showing from Suede. This is the first album of theirs that I got into, in fact when I went to see them for the first time this was really all that I knew beyond the hits and I was obsessed with it. I’ve come a long way since then and sometimes I think I don’t love this album but then I listen to it again and I absolutely do.  Highlights: Sleeping Pills - any song where Brett sings ‘angel’ was always going to make me weak at the knees, and his moan before the second chorus is exquisite. Metal Mickey - one of my favourite parts of any Suede gig is that drone followed by the opening riff and everyone going fucking mental. Animal Nitrate is my most-played Suede song ever, but I think I actually love Metal Mickey more. 

[n3ptoonz]

Hello! I saw your most recent headcanon list thing with the Earthrealm guys being caught Slonking it Silly Style™ and uh. I was just wondering if you'd be willing to do something similar with the Outworld guys as well? Obviously you don't have to if you don't want to, but I think it would be neat! Thank you so much in advance! I love your work :)

deep, dramatic sigh. (kidding anon tysm i gush over comments like this ily smoochhhh) also the terminology made me laugh out loud ty for that

Shang Tsung

kinda sorta didn't gaf. who's to say he didn't want you to hear him. the world may never know

you were to report to him about some findings for his experiments and there he was, leaning over the table and straight up cranking it over a bucket (he's odd like that) honestly when you acknowledge your own presence he's like... can i help you?? you see i'm busy???

but at the same time he's like hold up i have a fine specimen here to help me out here...he's leaving here with SOMETHING (studio laughter)

Rain

i don't think he'd care either if you walked in on him. in fact, he might welcome it. he's used to having his own space, but he doesn't mind sharing it with people he's ok with being around. yes that includes you (is it only you? not even he knows yet)

day 8163 of using Rain's arrogance to push my narrative that he's not only in love with himself but how he looks in the mirror. you definitely walked in on him wanking it in the mirror and he'd freeze but recover so quick

ain't no way you're leaving here after you just caught him though. how else will his problems get solved? you went and made him hard all over again!

Reptile

syzoth has two, let's get that out the way. AND he uses both hands for them LMAOO

president of syzoth is a lil subby bitch society. so when you catch him tugging on both and reduced to a pathetic mess from his own hands??? he's frozen and quite literally has no clue what to do. he's sweaty, there's tears in his eyes, and his fangs are much more pronounced than usual

once you give him the green light that you're into whatever tf he was just doing watch him crawl over to you on all fours and hug your legs, practically begging you to touch him

Havik

expect this smug fuck to claim he wanted this to happen. dude was hunched over and going at it behind his own desk, grunting like a cave man who discovered self pleasure for the first time

1000% expect him to demand you help him, but instead it's after he froze for like 5 seconds and then tried to play it off

he would also be internally shocked when agree to finish the job, but on the outside it's like "that's what i thought...now get over here" whole time he's jumping up and down and twirling in his brain

Reiko

it's already rare that he has time to himself and definitely RARELY has time to be with you for an extended period of time, so you catching him when you wanted to surprise him with your presence it triggered his fight or fight LMAO

legit laughed at the thought of him jumping up from his chair hands ready to be thrown...but his dick is swinging PLSSSSSS

he's like well shit now he deserves your help after you almost got two pieced by your own boyfriend...but who's complaining?!

General Shao

this man weirdly reminds me of bowser sometimes. with that being said i think he'd do a BUAHA as a shocked sound when you catch him thwoping the schlong

as much as i can't fucking stand him he does look a lil better in this game i will admit. i'm not gonna sit up here and lie, he def has a HUGE wanker innit. so you didn't miss shit when you walked into his chambers

he would also demand your help. but if you have a lil push back just for fun, he'd eventually say please and be all soft and shit. why? cause it's you god damn it!

Baraka

let's be fr. truly i do not think mk1 baraka would masterbate simply bc he's like depressed all the time😭but for the sake of shits and gigs, ill humor y'all

let's say he hasn't seen you in a while and misses you dearly. he knew you were on a quest for a while, and he was very pent up... so what better way to release stress other than sparring! oh. not enough? time for another type spar 😈

if this were old baraka i'd say he has two 👁️ but since this version of tarkat is a disease let's say it made the skin around his wee like ribbed or something ya SO when you caught him he was in a straight up panic and apologizing profusely but once you calm him down and tell him you're glad he missed you so much, he's like oh shit...well help me out then...only if you want to!

a/n: i did it y'all FUCK. my bad for taking so long to release this i'm a perfectionist to a fault💀

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Letting Go | Choi Jongho

-> Pairing: Choi Jongho x Reader

-> Request: From @03jyh23

-> Synopsis: Sometimes it's better to just let go of something rather than to hold on and cause more hurt. Using prompts - “I’m so tired of fighting, and I know you are too."  and "That wasn't what I was expecting." 

-> Warnings: Pure Angst. Break-up. Arguing. Hurt. Heartache. I hope this was angsty enough.

-> Word Count: 540

-> Requests: Open.

-> A/N: I tried using all the prompts given to me but there was one I couldn't work into it no matter how hard I tried.

ATEEZ Masterlist | Tag List Sign-Up | Requesting Guidelines

©️ 2024 woojoongstreasure - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead.

Likes, comments & reblogs are welcomed and appreciated, thank you. 

“I’m so tired of fighting, and I know you are too,” Y/N let out a tired sigh, her voice filled with exhaustion and defeat. She couldn't bear the constant fighting anymore, and she knows Jongho feels the same way. He stands in front of her, holding an umbrella to shield them from the rain, but even his presence couldn't alleviate the heaviness in the air. Avoiding his gaze, she turns her head away from him. "Maybe we're better off without each other. Let's end it here, go our separate ways so we never have to fight again, because fighting with you hurts too much." 

With a defeated expression mirroring Y/N's, Jongho understood her words all too well. Perhaps, they had reached a point where it was better for them to part ways. The frequent arguments had created a growing divide between them, causing them to spend more time apart. They threw themselves into their work, using it as a distraction to avoid confronting the issues that were slowly eroding their relationship of almost two years. Both had once believed they could overcome any obstacle, but now their conversations about the future had become their downfall. 

Jongho had always been clear about his desire for marriage and starting a family when they first got together. Y/N had initially shared the same aspirations, but as time went on, her fears took hold, and she began making excuses. She avoided any discussions about their future, shutting herself off from Jongho instead of opening to him and making him question if it was him that was the problem. 

Eventually he nods his head, agreeing with her despite his heart screaming at him to refuse and try again once more. He knows that would only lead to another argument and they’ll only end up right back where they are now. "You're right. Maybe it's better to end our relationship now, even though it hurts, than to let it get worse." 

"That wasn't what I was expecting," she mumbles, making the mistake of speaking her thoughts out loud. She’d anticipated another argument, a desperate plea from Jongho to reconsider, but instead, he had calmly accepted her decision.  

"What did you expect?" he questions, his irritation and hurt over the situation now evident in his voice and expression. "That I would plead with you to reconsider? To, once again, beg you to let me in and that we could work it out if you did? Why bother when you'll continue to shut me out and we’ll just end up arguing again and again and again." 

His words sting, hitting her with a wave of guilt. She never intended to shut him out, but the weight of her past become too heavy to bear. She convinced herself that walking away was the only way to protect him and herself from further heartache. As she looked into his eyes, she saw a mix of hurt and disappointment. It was a painful reminder of the love they once shared, now overshadowed by the walls they had built between them. 

"I’m sorry," she apologizes.  

"I know," he replies softly. "I’m sorry too." 

With that, Y/N turns and walks away, tears streaming down her cheeks, mixing with the rain that’s steadily falling.  

TAGGING: @staytiny2000 - @kpopmenace143 - @treehouse-mouse - @alexxavicry - @rainydayteacups

@green-agent - @tinyelfperson – @hollxe1 – @deltamoon666 - @skz1-4-3

@pinkies-things - @everythingboutkpop

[ao3-deviance]

Bakugou didn't pause as he stormed into the apartment, dropping his things in a trail along the way to his bedroom, where he face-planted next to the sole occupant on the bed.

“Long day?” 

Fingers combed through his hair, and Bakugou shuffled a little closer. He heard a chuckle and then the mattress shifted, before he felt a weight straddle his hips and confident hands press into his shoulders. 

“Fuck yes,” Bakugou groaned, eyes shutting. “They should be thanking me for not committing murder.”

“Mm-hmm.” 

The hands were steady in their pressure, thumbs rubbing along his spine expertly, and Bakugou felt the tension being forcibly rubbed from his body. He didn't fight it. 

“Surprised you're here,” Bakugou commented, already sounding less angry. “Thought you had work today.”

“I–or, well, he–finished early.” The other snickered at his own joke, and Bakugou managed a small huff.

“Lame joke, Eijirou,” he accused, but the tone was fond. 

“Welcome home, love.” This was met with familiar lips pressing a kiss to the back of his neck, a nose trailing along his hairline to his jaw. 

Bakugou rolled over, looking up at the red-headed male straddling him. He was smiling with too many, too sharp teeth exposed, eyes glowing even in shadow, and the longer Bakugou looked, the less human he appeared. Not that Kirishima tried particularly hard these days, not for Bakugou. The hands that rested on his shoulders had flawless nails, all coming to the slightest points to suggest claws. Bakugou knew they could easily grow to a much more lethal length. 

“Was your day okay?” He asked, shuffling a little to sit up against the pillows but doing nothing to dislodge the man who followed his movement and leaned down to nuzzle their noses together. 

“Was fine,” Kirishima hummed, kissing under Bakugou's chin. “Missed you.” His arms wrapped around Bakugou's neck, tugging him closer into a hug.

“Yeah,” Bakugou breathed, hands finding their home on the other's hips, holding him close as he returned the embrace. Once, such a touch would've been awkward, but now Bakugou was familiar with the others touchiness, even encouraged it a lot of the time. They'd discussed limits and boundaries until Bakugou was hoarse, so it was easy now to trust Kirishima not to push for more than Bakugou was willing to give. 

“Sleep with me?” Kirishima asked, pulling away to meet Bakugou's gaze. His eyes were magnetic, alluring. Bakugou shoved a palm into his face and pushed him off of him. He rolled onto his back on the bed beside him, giggling, and it sounded like bells. 

“Idiot,” Bakugou accused, but he did snuggle down into the bed, letting Kirishima spoon up behind him. The other purred against his back, and the teeth pressed against his neck were all for show. 

“I was just asking for a nap,” Kirishima teased. “I know you like a nap after a bad day to reset before we do dinner.” 

“Fucking incubus,” Bakugou grumbled, sending Kirishima into another round of laughter, “and a liar too. You'd sleep with me in a heartbeat if I offered.”

“I would,” Kirishima agreed easily, “but you haven't offered, and you know I wouldn't take without your consent.”

“Yeah, I know,” Bakugou relented, and he relaxed against the mattress, letting some of the tension that had gathered in his shoulders evaporate again. For a demon, Kirishima was oddly concerned about consent, said Bakugou's rejection smelled too sharply to be ignored. For someone like Bakugou, who had no interest in sex ever, it was equally odd that he'd find a sex demon more accepting of his ‘no’ than most other humans he'd tried dating. 

“Sleep,” Kirishima cooed to him, and he was definitely adding some of his magic, not that it truly touched Bakugou the way it did most. It did feel warm though, like the arms that were wrapped around him. Bakugou didn't feel the need to fight his heavy eyes any longer, drifting off to sleep in his demon's embrace. 

[wordholic]

longing is the place of exile

pairing: aerin valleros x f!mc

summary: Aerin and Aria return to the Deadwood and confront their feelings.

note: rated G but there's some mentions of mc's experience while being held captive in the shadow's realm (such as valax taking mc's blood). wc: 3.9k. takes place around ch5. i wrote this solely because i wanna smooch his little face. and also i wanna study him under a microscope

comments and reblogs are always welcomed <: (tagging @choicesficwriterscreations ) ao3 link

Aerin had always had, in his mind, a plan for jailbreak. 

Sure, yes, siding with the Shadow Court, threatening a priestess' life, and committing fratricide made life imprisonment a somewhat sound punishment, but he wouldn't be caught dead resigning his years to a dingy, run-down prison tower. He'd much rather spend the rest of his life hiding from guards and living in shadows. 

Over the year, the plan had grown from a mere idea to an intricate web of schemes and back-up plans, as well as back-up plans for those back-up plans. In fact, if he hadn't been dragged out of the depressing cell to go on an 'adventure' with Morella's heroic saviors, he probably would've broken out in a month or two. 

Well, that was in the past anyway. Right now he found himself craving (for the first time) the cell’s creaky cot and undisturbed silence– gods, the silence–

Imtura's thunderous snores seized the moment. With a stifled groan, he rolled over, facing the crackling campfire.

The group had been forced to spend the night here in the Deadwood after a long day of trekking and fighting off monsters. While the notion of resting was pleasant at first, it soon proved to be difficult. It's a miracle any of these people managed to fall asleep, Aerin thought as he got on his feet and planted a step on the dry forest floor–

ZAP. A savage pain jolted up his leg. He cursed under his breath and stumbled back onto the ground, temporarily paralyzed by the sting assaulting his muscles. He'd forgotten all about the barrier Tyril had set up around his tent. He might not be behind bars, but he was still a prisoner.

"Aerin?"

His head snapped up. Immediately he caught Aria staring at him from the other side of the fire, partly startled, partly suspicious. "What are you doing?"

Something compelled him to put on an act, so he did, spreading his numb leg out and positioning himself in a way that wouldn't show how much discomfort he was in. "I find it impossible to fall asleep in a place like this."

Aria shot a knowing glance in Imtura's direction. A lopsided grin crept up to her lips. "It does take time to get used to that."

"Glad you agree. My solution was to go for a walk, but…" he gestured vaguely at the space around him. "That is also impossible."

She nodded. Then he realized that it was much stranger that she was awake as well. "And you? Don’t tell me you’re still not used to that."

"Please, that snore is nothing to me." She cast a meaningful look into the dark woods beyond the camp. "There's just… a lot on my mind, I suppose. I was going to take a walk myself."

Their eyes met once again. A silent understanding was passed, and after some contemplation, she added, "You should come with me."

He made a doubtful hum. "Should I? I mean, it's the middle of the night, and your friends here think that I'm a ticking time bomb. You're not scared some harm may come to you out there?"

To his surprise, she smirked at the mere idea. "We'll be safe from monsters as long as we don't make much noise, plus we both know you're no match for me. And to answer your question, I'm not scared of you, even if it's against my better judgment."

She came to a full height before him, limned by the dancing fire behind her, and he held his breath.

"After you," she said with a flourish, motioning outward. "My advice is to stick to the right side."

Still skeptical, Aerin stood up once again and took a cautious step, this time leaning toward said side of the opening. Amusement took over his expression as he made it out without being electrocuted.

"I don't suppose your mage friend made a slip while casting my shield?"

"...Let's just say I have more trust in you than all of them combined."

With that, the two set off at a leisurely pace, Aria illuminating the path in front of them with a wooden torch and Aerin waiting for the right time to break the silence. All around them, crickets chirped in harmony. The air was dry and still. Lifeless trees were shrouded in pitch black where the flame couldn't reach, concealing whatever dangers lurked within them. 

It suddenly seemed less of a good idea to be wandering around in the dead of night, but at least… Aerin debated with himself. At least they get to spend some time without everyone else keeping their watchful eyes on him.

"So," he started, stealing a glance at the back of her head. "A penny for your thoughts? Specifically those that managed to keep you up after a whole day of toil."

Out of the corner of his gaze, he could see her trying to tether her emotions to the ground, but the flash of trouble was unmistakable. It seemed that he wasn't the only one putting up a front. 

Just as he thought she was going to ignore him completely, she shook her head. "I'm worried about the others." 

"Is this about the extremely depressing moment you guys had earlier?" The question escaped him.

Aria shot him a withering look before returning her attention to the road, but it was enough to confirm his suspicion.

A year ago, the five of them had been formidable, no doubt drowning in glory and praise, victory and pride. They'd been Morella's newest legends, the ones who managed to pry off the Shadow Court's icy, greedy grasp. They still were, at least that's what Aerin believed, but time had passed. It was as Aria had pointed out: they were tired and still hurting from grief. They'd gone different paths, too. They might've managed to find their rhythm with each other before, but things had changed, and it's not easy to recreate the same picture with new puzzle pieces. 

It wasn't anyone's fault but time's, but he could still see on her shoulder the impossible weight of responsibility. The world was hers to save again, and this time she also had her companions to stress over. If there was one thing that hadn't changed, it would be the worry etched between her brows.

Though he supposed that she couldn't have changed much, given that she'd been captive the whole time. 

He chewed on his lip, this time threading his words delicately. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened when you were in the Shadow Realm? I mean, I know the gist, but Mal said that you'd mostly slept through it, and I seriously doubt that."

Aria swallowed hard. He wondered if they were thinking about the same thing– the barren, devastated land, the despair and hopelessness permeating the air. 

Somewhere off in the distance sat a lonely log. They took their time heading towards it and sat side by side, shoulders brushing against each other in the newfound proximity. This close, Aerin could properly observe the wavering flame burning in her eyes and the way it painted shadows across her countenance.

She was every bit as beautiful as the day they'd met, and he could never tell her that.

"Mal was right, I was out cold for the most part… but I still remember what happened," she started. "I remember the room they kept me in, the leather straps bound around my limbs. I remember regaining consciousness every once in a while and feeling devastated when I saw that I was still stuck in the same place… that no one had come to save me.

"Usually I would wake, and then Valax would come and take my blood until I passed out again. The cycle went on and on. I was no more than a helpless prey waiting to be slaughtered. There were times when I thought that I was going to die there, that one of those days I would slip into unconsciousness and that would be it. I was going to die in another realm, away from my friends and Kade."

Her posture slouched as she recounted the past, head bowed as if trying to fold into herself. There was a noticeable tremble in her hands, and Aerin would give anything to be the one to hold her close and tell her she was still alive and safe, except he didn't have the right. He hadn’t even known about her abduction until just a few days ago.

"Even worse was the nightmares. There were horrors when I was awake and horrors when I was asleep, and I was always alone in my dreams. Sometimes I would see Tyril and the others, but they'd be wrong. They were cruel and vicious, and it was either that they did terrible things to me, or that I'd have to do terrible things to them. Those dreams terrified me, and I was always drenched in sweat when I woke up.”

Nightmares were not new to Aerin, and if he had to be honest, the 'creaky cot' and 'undisturbed silence' never did help much. He hadn't had one good night's sleep since he'd been defeated, not when he knew that he was doomed to be a prisoner, a traitor, a monster for as long as he breathed, and probably long after he was dead too. 

And if he did manage to escape confinement, who's to say that he'd be safe from those affiliated with the Shadow Court and wanted his head on a spike? And now he was also against the Ash Empire, no less. The stakes had only gotten higher.

The point was, he knew how the mind could turn into your worst enemy. That was probably why sitting next to Aria and adventuring with her after all this time felt surreal to him– because she was always different in his dreams. Sometimes cold and unforgiving. Other times hurt and broken. But never as… genuine and honest as she was now, heart on her sleeves and all.

She suddenly laughed, trying futilely to dispel the gloom with a shake of her head. "I'm lucky I forgot everything that day; otherwise I wouldn't have been able to make my escape. But these memories have a way of returning. They’ve been surfacing from time to time, haunting my mind." 

Her shaky fingers were clenched around the cloth on her lap, and Aerin knew that any one of her companions could take her hand and have it mean more than a thousand words from him, but they were alone and he couldn’t bear seeing even more hurt color her features.

So he reached out and wrapped his arm around her, and when she rested her head on his shoulder, his heart shuddered.

“It’s like the whole world’s moved on but I’m still stuck here.” 

“I know what you mean.” He whispered, recalling all the times he’d sat by the barred window and strained his ears for the sounds of the outside world. “…I wish I’d known earlier what happened to you.”

She scoffed good-naturedly. “So what, you could escape from the luxurious prison and come save me?” 

"Sure, maybe I would've figured something out."

Aria said nothing to that, lost in thoughts. Then, with a start, she tore herself away and restored the distance between them, brows tight with a thousand unspoken thoughts. "Whatever. It's all in the past now." 

Aerin had a feeling she wasn't just referring to the kidnapping.

As silence draped around them, she let the strong, determined mask slip over her face again. The whole day both of them had been hiding behind false pretense.

"Wait," she craned her head, frowning. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

She raised a finger, prompting him to keep quiet, and he rolled his eyes.

A beat later, she stood up and grabbed the torch. "There's water nearby." She illuminated the foliage around them and began following the general direction in which the branches and scarce leaves were bent. Aerin scrambled to his feet and followed suit.

"Should we be wandering even further out?" he asked.

She merely shrugged. After a few minutes, it became apparent to him that she was no longer a stranger to the road she was taking. The twists and turns she took were concise. Something had clicked in her head. 

She'd been here before.

And so had he, as he soon discovered.

They'd managed to find their way back to that fateful lake. It was precisely as he remembered– glimmering with an abundance of magic, casting whimsical hues on its surroundings. The moon managed to reach down through the grotesquely crooked branches to shine down on the water, specking it with starry sparks. For once, the air smelled like something other than depression and death. There was sweetness in every breath he took, courtesy of the dreamlike flowers that bloomed along the shore.

"Just how I remember it." He bent down to rub a smooth, roundly shaped leaf between his fingers. "We did have some good time here, didn't we?"

Aria rolled her eyes so far back that she probably strained something, but he didn't miss how she crossed her arms stiffly, eyes darting around as if desperately looking for a distraction. "If by 'good time' you mean playing me like a fiddle, then yea. We sure did."

Hurt bled back into her face, and he angled his own away before it could crack his facade. He knew hiding behind snarks was never going to grant him the olive branch that he wordlessly longed for, but it was still tenfold easier than asking for the impossible– her forgiveness.

Yet still, what she said wasn't true, and he couldn't let that become her impression of how that night went down.

"I know how this sounds after everything I've done, but I wasn't trying to trick you that night." 

Her expression was evasive. Unreadable. "What were you trying to do then, if not to bribe my trust?" 

"Nothing," the response was immediate. "There was no ulterior motive, Aria. Everything I said was true, and everything I did, I did it out of my heart."

He wished that he'd been a better man. Maybe then he wouldn't be standing where they'd laid their souls bare, trying desperately to make her understand. What good would it do if she believed him anyway? A criminal and a villain, he was never destined to be anything more than a footnote in her story. He could never force his way back into her life, let alone attempt to heal her wounds when he'd been the one to wield the knife. 

But she was the only soul who ever truly saw him as he was, and she'd been the person he'd wanted to hurt least in his grand schemes, despite how little that meant now. He just couldn’t let his feelings go unspoken.

Finally, she lifted a tentative gaze to him. He could see the exact moment her armor shattered. The slightest bit of hope crept into her expression, and it quickly seeped beneath his ribs as well.

"I can't trust you when there's still so much I don't know, Aerin," she says quietly. "I've been trying to understand why you joined the Shadow Court. I had a hunch that your family played a part in your decision, but the picture's still hazy."

The memory of his family was an ache that he actively avoided. He still felt rage gnaw at him when he thought of all the ways they disregarded him, and he’d be lying to say that he regretted the way the Blade of Shadow protruded from his brother’s chest. He did what he had to do.

He drew in a deep breath. It'd never been easy to broach this topic, but if he'd managed to open up at this same lake with the same person a year ago, maybe he could do it again. 

"Fine. I'll tell you everything." He took a seat on the soft grass and patted the spot next to him. Shortly after, Aria followed suit, quietly encouraging him to go on.

So he did. More than two decades of neglect and belittlement came tumbling out, as well as the shadows that lurked in the corners of his dreams, beckoning him to the other realm, promising him all the power he needed to change the world.

"Most people were so preoccupied with getting on my brother's good side that they didn't realize what a bleak future awaited Morella if it was to fall into his hands, and for the few that weren't busy singing praises, they cared too much about their status to speak up. Anytime I appealed to the court, they shot me down like I was some babbling kid. Eventually, I reckoned that no one was going to take me seriously."

"I'm guessing that's where the Shadow Court came in?"

He nodded. "They promised me power, and my brother would've plunged Morella into a living hell. I thought…" He balled his hands into fists, staring narrowly out at the tranquil water. "I thought I could finally get everyone to see things my way."

"Even if it meant sacrificing the lives of innocents? Even at the cost of my friend?" Aria speared him with a look, and he averted his eyes. 

"...It was my only option, and I was willing to take it."

She turned away, seemingly mulling over his words. Now that the truth was out in the open, a weight had been undoubtedly lifted from his mind… but the bitter taste of guilt lingered. The sins had been committed. There was no undoing the harm he'd done, regardless of how noble the cause might've been.

When she spoke again, her voice was barely a whisper. "Have you ever had second thoughts?"

"I suppose I have," his mouth curled into a bittersweet smile. "The whole time we were walking along this lake, I was lamenting our ill-timed meeting, even more so when I welcomed you at the palace. I couldn't stop wondering how things could've changed if we'd met sooner…" He trailed off, realizing himself. With every thread of memory unspooled, the defense around his heart was crumbling piece by piece. "Though I suppose there's no use dwelling in the past, is there?"

"I supposed not, but we still have the future ahead of us. You can still do better. Make up for what you've done."

That stupid, innocent hope crawled back again, yawning in his chest, pushing away all the doubts that'd been plaguing his mind. "You really think so?"

He held his breath as she reached out and placed her hand atop his. Her skin was calloused from all the tireless fighting, but it was warm and familiar. It was only when his hand instinctively turned over to grab her fingers that he realized he'd underestimated just how much he missed her.

In return, she gave him a brief squeeze. It lasted only for a split second, but he felt as though it could ground him. "I know so." 

Tranquil as the night was, the space around them felt tight all of a sudden. There was a tingle in his hand that longed to graze her skin, a tightness in his throat that threatened to spill whatever softness he'd been burying inside him, and he knew that he should look away before his face said something he couldn't take back, but it was impossible to do so when violet and turquoise waves were rippling across her features, highlighting the longing the mirrored his own.

His heartbeat was going so fast, he was surprised it was still safely contained within him. My heart still beats for you, the confession died on his tongue. Did he even have the right to say something like that, after all this time?

At first he thought that he'd imagined her lilac eyes darting down to his lips, but then she leaned forward imperceptibly, boldly. Her other hand, trembling, came up to hold his cheek.

"Are you sure?" Was all that he could muster in that closeness.

"I'm sure." 

Her eyes drifted close, and she slanted her lips against his. 

It was sweet and cautious, but enough to light up every nerve in his body. Whatever resolve that'd been holding him back dispersed as her tongue swept across his lower lip, and he readily parted his mouth, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. He untangled their hands and moved to cup her neck, relishing the way her pulse quickened under his thumbs. 

The tension lining her torso melted away as he tipped her head back, letting whatever that was unutterable to him spill into her open mouth, desperately and eagerly, with the likeness of a man starved of oxygen. He'd spent the better part of the past year dreaming (and resisting to dream) of having her this near again, and it was even better than anything he could've imagined. She was here and real and smelled like home, even though he had never understood what the word meant. Her fingers were tangled in his curly hair, drawing from him noises of contentment with each tug, and he couldn't help but trace his hands over the contours of her body before coming to a rest on her lower back, praying silently that this moment would stretch out forever and ever.

The moment ended eventually, as all things did. Face flushed and out of breath, he pulled away and dared to glance at her.

There was the slightest hint of hesitation behind her glossy eyes, like she was replaying in her head what'd just happened. Suddenly, with her face a breath away from his, he had a feeling he was back in the Shadow Court's macabre throne room again, holding her at knifepoint, feigning indifference at her bruised and crestfallen look. 

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe he was right in believing that there was no way she– or anyone, for that matter, would give him a chance again, let alone forgiveness. 

A defeated sigh interrupted his racing train of thoughts. There was a wistful smile that Aria couldn't quite fight back as she knocked her forehead softly against his, letting their breaths swirl together. 

"I just can't seem to listen to reason when I'm around you," she murmured, gaze downcast. "But I do trust that you can walk a different path, Aerin. Not to mention…" her next words came out in a hurry. "I can't do all this… saving the world business without you."

He couldn't help but chuckle, his heart thumping like a gavel inside his chest. "Feels like the world’s always depending on you."

This time her smile went all the way, reaching every corner of her face, crinkling the corners of her eyes. "What can I say? I am a hero." She shrugged. "I guess what I'm trying to say is… I need you to stay with me. No matter what comes, we'll figure it out, I promise."

His heart squeezed at the confirmation; he wasn't as damned as he thought he was. She'd still have him, even as he was. The yearning in her eyes was a living thing, and after all this time, what was he to say except yes, yes, I will stay with you?

So he brought her knuckles up and pressed his lips to them, like hot wax making its mark, like a prayer, a promise. "I'm not going anywhere."

[what-if-queen-camilla]

A Little Secret - Chapter 4

Here's my new chapter and I hope you like it :) Let me know what you think in the comments and vote in the poll for your preferred run of the story (poll will be posted seperately as announced earlier :))

"Hi baby!"Andrew greeted her and casually kissed her cheek. She hated it when he called her like that but at least he had shown up at all so she'd better not complain. "Hi Andy. Thanks for coming.", she replied, equally casual and took his jacket. She had asked him to come home for the weekend and, much to her surprise, he had agreed without any further condition, so she had tried to be a good wife - though this was probably the most ridiculous term under the given circumstances - cleaned and tried up the house all week and made his favourite food for dinner, her legendary roast chicken with some potatoes and fresh vegetables from the garden, as well as a bottle of his favourite wine and, until now, he seemed delighted. "Just what I need after a week full of chaos.", he sighed and took a sip of the wine. "Oooh, Milla, do we have something to celebrate?", he asked, looking at her in anticipation. Camilla felt a cold breeze running down her spine. Gosh, she had already messed it all up. Apparently, he was expecting some happy news from her - how on earth was she supposed to go ahead with her plan under these circumstances? Goodness, no, she had to. There was no other option and she wasn't going to be a coward this time. She had to be strong, for the baby. "Not quite.", she replied, taking a deep breath, looking at him very seriously. He stopped chewing and frowned his forehead. "You're sounding serious, my dear." "I'm afraid, I am.", she added. "Andy, listen, I… I am in… a situation…" 

"Are you fucking kidding me, Camilla?!", Andrew shouted at her, stood up, banging his fist on the table so that all the glasses and dishes and cutlery shook. Camilla winced and lowered her eyes in embarrassment and discomfort. What had she been expecting? Of course he wasn't going to be happy about the prospect of his wife having an illegitimate child with the Prince of Wales. "You know, I don't care whom you're dating or sleeping with, Camilla. God knows I have my… liaisons as well. But now… this… seriously, Camilla???" Every single word felt like a punch in her face. He didn't care. Had he ever really cared about her, had he ever really loved her? He didn't care. Of course, he had his liaisons as well, he'd always had, right from the start, yet she had always tried and hoped and even defended him… but he didn't care, he'd just said it himself, and though she didn't want it to affect her, it felt like a punch in her stomach. "Andrew, I did not plan this…", she tried to defend herself but he look at her reproachfully. "Could you not just use a bloody condom or something? Is your future King too cool to be cautious?! Fuck, Milla, I'd never have thought you'd be so damn stupid!", he screamed at her and she felt tears in her eyes again. She did not want to have this talk with him, not like that. It was so humiliating. "Don't talk to me like that!", she replied with a trembling voice and gave him a warning look. "You have no right to judge me! You're the one who ended our marriage with your 'liaisons', not me! And you were the one who-" She paused in order to swallow her tears. She didn't want him to see how much he was hurting her but it became harder by the second. "You were the one who kept telling me it was my fault that we couldn't have a third child without ever having seen a doctor yourself! You were so sure that it must have been me! Turns out, you were wrong!" She had meanwhile given up fighting against her tears and she actually didn't care any longer. Andrew was more than welcome to see what misery he'd put her into, how terrible he'd made her feel, not only now and then, in this very situation, but basically for the last couple of years. She had believed in love once, in marriage and family, but he'd managed to crash it all down, to rattle her entire life, her confidence, her belief and just everything she had ever wanted or felt good about. "Do you have any idea how I was feeling all those years?!", she screamed at him."What it did to me, the way you looked at me as if I wasn't good enough, as if I was the problem because, obviously, it was my fault that we couldn't have another child?" She looked at him with her teary eyes full of both anger and desperation. All of those years she had quietly endured it all but it had all broken free now and, somehow, it was a relief. Andrew stepped forward and towards her, his eyes had soften a bit and his hand reached out hers. She didn't refuse. "I'm sorry, Milla.", he said quietly and unusually genuine. "I'm going to think it all through and… come back to you tomorrow." With that, he turned around and went to his room. 

Camilla tried to realise what had just happened while she cleared the table and did the dishes in the kitchen. It all felt so surreal. She had never talked to her husband like that and somehow she was proud of herself, that she has finally spoken up and didn't let him put her down because, when she was true to herself, she had allowed him to do so way too long. No man had the right to treat a woman like that and nobody, no matter their gender, deserved to be treated like that. He'd never been physically violent towards her, he'd always been a good father for the children and of course had offered her a financially secure life. But with his constant affairs he had broken her heart a million little times and slowly but surely destroyed almost all of her self-confidence. And in that moment, she realised that somehow Charles had saved her in the same way that he always said she had saved him. He made her feel loved and beautiful and special again, he appreciated her the way she was and, for once in her life, at least in her married life, there was nobody else around who was prettier, funnier, cleverer or better in bed for whom she was left alone. No matter what Andrew was going to do, she vowed to herself, never ever would she allow him to bring her down and made her feel that she wasn't enough again. She was enough. She was pregnant again, for goodness sake! Back then, when they had tried and failed to have another one, she had been suspicious whether it could be because of the mumps infection they both had caught from Tom shortly after Laura had been born. Everyone knew that it could affect male fertility but Andrew hadn't listened. He was the man, he was strong and healthy and if they couldn't have another baby it could only have been her fault. Of course, she had gone to see a doctor and everything had been alright, but he had still refused to go and see one himself so they had buried their wish for another child and just gotten on with their life as a family of four. For the children, they were good parents, they were a team, they worked well together and genuinely enjoyed spending time with each other, as parents and friends, but not as husband and wife anymore. She had never really noticed how much she had been missing that part of a marriage until she had gotten back together with Charles and he'd made her feel all the wonderful things once again. Oh Charles… she missed him terribly and wanted nothing more than to cuddle up to him right now, be held by him, feel him, kiss him, smell him… a part of her wanted to grab the phone and call him, hear his soothing voice whispering all the sweet nothings to her that'd make her feel better, but another part new that, if she did, she wouldn't be able to keep her little secret any longer, so she just went to bed alone, silently crying until she fell asleep. 

"Okay Milla. Here's my offer.", Andrew announced almost solemnly when they met again for breakfast the next morning. "I have two options for you. The first is, you'll have the baby and it's going to be ours. The third child we've always wanted. I'll be the father, it'll have my name and nobody will ever know the truth. It will grow up in a loving family and lead a happy, normal life." Camilla looked at him in disbelief. That… sounded almost too good to be true. Surely there had to be a catch somewhere? Of course there was: "My one condition for this… agreement is that you will break up with your Prince and never see him again." "Andy, no…", Camilla interrupted with an almost begging voice. "You can't be serious… You can't ask me to do that, I…" 'I love him!', everything inside her screamed. 'And he loves me, too.' She couldn't imagine living without him anymore and neither could he imagine living without her, he needed her and she him. They had promised each other to always be there for each other from now… She couldn't leave him. That would break him. "Camilla, I don't begrudge you for having a bit of fun. But your relationship is way too serious and that'd be too risky. Imagine the baby resembles him. Would you be able to keep your mouth shut?" He looked at her provocatively and both of them knew the answer. Of course she wouldn't. "See. I'm not being cruel, I just want what's best for this innocent child and I'm sure that it's much better growing up as a legitimate son or daughter of a respectable British Army Officer than the fucking bastard of the Prince of Wales.", he casually added and Camilla winced. The bastard of the Prince of Wales. Hearing that felt like a slap in her face but, deep inside, she knew he was right. "It's up to you, Milla. If you can't do it, I see only one other option." He handed her a piece of paper with the phone number of a London private hospital. "They won't ask you questions." 

With that, he turned around and went outside, leaving her in complete desperation. The piece of paper still in her trembling hand, she sank down to the floor, crying. What on earth was she supposed to do?

...vote in the poll! :)

[our-flag-means-love]

welcome back to elliot's autistic-about-music corner.

here's a comprehensive list of boygenius lyrics that have been helping me get through this bc goddamnit i need anything rn.

"$20":

it's a bad idea and i'm all about it / give it one more chance and then i finally had it

the renewal efforts, obviously. it's a hail mary but it's our one chance.

mama told me that it don't run on wishes, but that i should have fun / pushing the flowers that come up into the front of a shotgun

poison into positivity. weaponizing our ability to be polite menaces and our ability to have hope.

may i please have twenty dollars / can you give me twenty dollars / i know you have twenty dollars / i know you have twenty dollars!

me @ zaslav. especially the screamed one.

"emily i'm sorry":

this one's extremely personal to me so i'm not highlighting anything specific but just know that it's this whole song.

"true blue":

you already hurt my feelings three times / in the way only you could

the ending of s1, the wait for s2 renewal, the cancellation.

i remember who i am when i'm with you / your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue

the fandom <3 we persist.

you've never done me wrong / except for that one time that we don't talk about / because it doesn't matter anymore

me if it gets renewed for s3.

(continued under the cut)

"not strong enough":

i tried, i can't / stop staring at the ceiling fan and / spinning out about things that haven't happened / breathing in and out

bro i am so anxious about this whole thing bro.

"revolution 0":

i just wanna know / who broke your nose / figure out where they live / so i can kick their teeth in

the broken nose is the cancellation and this is me @ zaslav again.

"leonard cohen":

leonard cohen once said / "there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in" / and i am not an old man having an existential crisis / at a buddhist monastery, writing horny poetry / but i agree

we have hope. we have a chance. the light can get in.

"satanist":

mortgage off your soul to buy a dream

what it feels like we're doing right now lol.

will you be an anarchist with me / sleep in cars and kill the bourgeoisie

once again, with feeling: fuck zaslav!

"we're in love":

(first of all, i would be remiss in not shamelessly promoting my fav fic i wrote last year here.)

you could absolutely break my heart / that's how i know that we're in love

cannot convey how much the cancellation news broke me. that's because i'm in love with this show.

some october in the future / i'll run out of trash TV / and i'll be feeling lonely

no matter what happens, this show will end, and when it does, i'll miss it dearly.

damn, that makes me sad / it doesn't have to be like that / if you rewrite your life, may i still play a part?

this whole thing.

"anti-curse":

well uhh really it's this entire song so just go listen to this song and yeah it's all of the lyrics. i will highlight this one tho:

writing the words / to the worst love song you've ever heard / sounding out the foreign characters / an incantation like an anti-curse / or even a blessing

all of the letter writing, emailing, commenting.

"letter to an old poet":

you're not special, you're evil / you don't get to tell me to calm down

me @ max/wbd.

when you fell down the stairs / it looked like it hurt and i wasn't sorry

max/wbd taking Ls left and right.

i can't feel it yet / but i am waiting

hope.

"afraid of heights":

i kid you not, the day the news dropped i listened to this song like 20x on repeat during my 2 hour work shift bc nothing else was helping.

i replied / "i don't wanna live forever / but i don't wanna die tonight"

we're not going down without a fight.

if they ever catch you at it / i know you'd want me to be proud / that you took a rich man's dream / and brought it with you on your way down

fuck zaslav!!!!!

how it hurts to hope / oh, it hurts to hope for more / oh, it hurts to hope the future will be better than before

fuck, lucy, it sure does.

[anemia-rp]

"Our music is best enjoyed at a live show though, just saying", Teru explained enthusiastically. "In January we'll have some headlining shows in Japan, so guess I'll invite you as my VIP. How does that sound?" It must have sounded fantastic due to Teru's mere excitement and the glint in his eyes. "Ah, I'm damn sure I can dedicate a song to you one day! You already make me feel a lot of things, you know?" His voice had softened, speaking those words. "You can get translated into quite a passionate ballad I guess since you're as fierce as a storm." Pondering about this already he rubbed his chin. New sources for inspiration were always welcome to Teru, and it wasn't every day he met a man like Xuan. If he would ever again meet a man like him. In fact he doubted it.

Not only because of Xuan's personality but because of his position as a mafia leader. "Dunno about the yakuza, but it's damn fucking sure you're a special one." He made a pause while he somehow tried to let all the exciting newness sink in and his eyes glanced at Xuan in awe; it wasn't too difficult to impress Teru, this was for sure, but right now he was simply stunned about how this man apparently didn't even need any weapon to fight. "God, you're fucking sexy", he groaned enchantedly. As easy as it was to impress him mostly it was to turn him on - if you knew what he liked and what kind of men he was attracted to. "It's a huge fucking honor to be yours, to be the chosen one. Because you certainly deserve only the best, Master. I'm damn sure you need a lot of deep relaxation if you have so much responsibilty to carry on your shoulders, huh? How good you've got an angel of love and arts for that now!" Perhaps they were a perfect match. No, Teru was even sure at this point that they were.

"Yeah, that's true", he agreed when Xuan claimed they all were made out of good and evil. "And sometimes it's close to impossible to tell good and evil apart…or to even determine which is which." Once again he darted Xuan a stunned look because his confidence made him even more appealing than he would have been already without this almost royal attitude. "Woooh, so I can only hope you're not a full blown psychopath in fact and plan on cutting my dick off to put it into formalin, just like you did with hundreds of other guys!" His own imagination made him laugh out loud so it was echoing through the hall due to all the high ceilings. "But at least the last thing I'd see would be a gorgeous man in that case!" He winked.

Having calmed down he soon found himself eyeing all those pictures that told about Xuan's past; his first thought was that it was something incredibly intimate, showing pictures of your childhood to someone else, so it was just another big honor that he was allowed to lay his eyes onto them - only then he noticed the lack of ease and positive emotions those pictures radiated. But he wouldn't comment on them. Not today. Not right now. Being woken up from his thoughts by Xuan's voice he blinked several times before following him with his chin lifted, about to highlight his sexappeal more once again now and not only giving the marvelling boy. "Uuuuh", he groaned deeply in admiration though when he was guided into the incredibly luxurious bedroom, his eyebrows wiggling and his lips formed into an o for several seconds as his glance wandered through the room. "Makes me feel like a high-class prostitute." The right corner of his mouth twitched while the tip of his tongue traced his lower lip; this imagination was a turn on for him, being paid for sex. "You're into that actually?" His eyebrow twitched. "Me being a female for you?" His glance wandered over the alcoholic beverages before he took off his shirt first, letting his shoes and pants follow then so he stood there in the nude, all confidently so, even pulling the tie ouf of his hair so it wildly fell almost onto his shoulders. "How about we have a drink together in the bath tub?", he suggested in a seductive tone while his fingers combed his hair back.

@phoenix-of-jade

Continued from here [X]

Xuan wasn't the type to be easily intimidated or frightened by anyone. In fact, seeing how people tried their very best at inducing fear into those they thought as weak and submissive, kind of amused him. It just showed how weak the human character could actually be at times, since more often than not the very same people who sought to impose their strength and power over others through sheer brute force were, in fact, just some scarred little souls hidden underneath shallow husks.

That's why when Teru attacked him, pinning him to the wall, Xuan didn't sketch the slightest of reactions. He could see right through this feisty man's front and he could tell from the very first glance he threw at him that night that Teru was the submissive type, someone who will appear as stubborn and tough, but will kneel and crumble easily under his boot. Their positions of power were soon going to switch drastically, it was just a matter of time and Xuan didn't feel like rushing this little 'game' of cat and mouse he'd set for himself, at least for a while.

With a slight snort, the raven haired gave the younger another defiant look, before speaking in the calmest of tones, sure of the fact this will piss him off even further. "I think the only wasted one here is you, since you're literally chasing after someone who made a fool out of you in front of your entire group. Shouldn't you be trying to save face and find some drunken idiot to smash on the pool table instead? Or could it be that you actually have a degradation kink and all that humiliation actually turned you on?" Another jeering grin. "Sorry, but I don't mingle with pathetic little hoes. You'll have to do much better than this to impress me."

As an emphasis on how 'unimpressed' he was, Xuan then feigned a yawn and leant back against the wall, feeling the pressure applied by the other's arm onto his chest tighten. "Bold of you to assume I wouldn't be able to handle you, princess! Also, I am curious as to what do you mean by my kind? Do you, perhaps, dare compare me to those lousy fucks inside the bar, who spend their days pimping bitches and ordering idiots around to do their biddings, while they sip on cheap wine and sit all day with a cane stuck up their asses?" Raising an eyebrow, Xuan then tilted his head to the side. "I'm sorry, but in this case, your assumption is wrong. I might be of the refined kind, but trust me, unlike those idiots who try pretending they are something they are not, I actually live up to my status as leader of my organization."

In just a split second, without much of a struggle, the man then used his foot to kick the succubu's legs in one swift motion before he'd even be able to react, just enough that he could make the man lose his balance, before freeing himself and applying three more sturdy hits with his hand and elbow to Teru's side, back and neck, only to finish by grabbing the younger's hand and painfully twisting it to his back, pushing him face first into the wall. The green eyed bastard was soo quick that there was barely even time for an outsider to register when and what happened. "Who's all lame now, hmm?" Back to his conceited cocky tone, Xuan then leant against him to whisper in the younger's ear. "Here's a pro tip: never judge a book by its cover. Your little show of bravery was fun to watch, but unfortunately, you still have room for lots of improvement."

[@anemia-rp]

[catz4ever]

"Edge of Darkness"

Brother Day and Reader Fanfic

Chapter 10: "Allies and Enemies"

As promised, here is the next chapter!

*No warnings this time around!*

*As always, I happily welcome any thoughts you may have about this story so feel free to comment below or message me about this chapter!*

@omg-hellgirl @coopsgirl @purplerainiris @0chemicalwaste0 @billyblackbirdrusso @bang-kim-bap @briefgalaxycat @bellevox @lafleurose @designfailure56 @curiouswildi @icarus-waxenwings @monmonuwu @etherealoscar @werewolfhybrid @potato-dragons @pigilene @gedebe @clementine-starling @levikra @sannunah28 @yuiyuuji

CHAPTER TEN: ALLIES AND ENEMIES

Once the rays of the sun gradually shone through the windows of your room, you could feel its warmth. Still resting your head on the waste basket, you could smell the vomit left over from the persistent nausea during the night. It immediately made you sick and you heaved downwards, unable to release any bile from your empty stomach. You got up and began to search your store of herbs and medicines for anything that would help ease the urge to get sick. 

For several minutes you searched to no avail, repeatedly fighting the urge to throw up again as waves of nausea plagued your stomach. Finally, you found some peppermint leaves. Grinding the leaves in a small bowl, you added some hot water you had heating on the small stove next to your table. Immediately the strong scent of mint filled the air and you breathed in the steam deeply, instantly giving your sour stomach some relief. Making the crumbled leaves into a green paste, you added a small amount of oil and poured the substance into a small vial to carry with you.

Thankful that you felt well enough to function, you dressed yourself for the day and prepared to head to the kitchens to find something lite to eat. On your way down the hall, you spotted Mal and Dawn sitting at a small table in Dawn's room. They had a book spread open on the table and Mal seemed to be teaching Dawn what the words were in sign language. You knocked on the door frame and Dawn smiled over at you, welcoming you in with his hand. Mal was distracted so you snuck up behind him and tickled his sides, making him jump. He giggled and turned to you, signing your name with joy. 'Its good to see you too, Mal', you gestured back to him. Dawn laughed along with the both of you and pointed to the book they were reading together.

"He's been teaching me most of this morning. I think I have some of the basics down," said Dawn proudly. You turned to Mal and asked 'how well is he catching on?'. Mal giggled and signed "he needs more practice" by pointing his right finger and making a fist with his left and brushing his fist against his pointed finger. He smiled at Dawn and you winked at him as you laughed. Signing your sentences for Mal, you turned and spoke to Dawn.

"It appears our expert thinks you're a bit rusty still. This form of communication is difficult, but if you're consistent, I'm sure it will become second nature," you said, causing Dawn to chuckle. 

"I'm trying my hardest. I'm lucky to have such a good teacher," he said kindly to the boy. After translating for him, Mal signed his reply. 

"He says you're a good student. He is happy to teach someone so willing and patient," you said with a smile. Feeling your stomach churn slightly, you saw a fresh loaf of bread on the table and cut a small slice for yourself. Thankfully, the I'll feeling vanished as you swallowed a piece of the bread you had bitten off. Mal seemed to notice the grimace on your face and asked 'are you ok?' Pointing both of your fingers at each other, you rotated your hands around each other near your stomach and told him 'my stomach hurts'. With a concerned frown he asked if you were sick. You smiled and signed 'im ok. It's probably something I ate. Didn't agree with me'. Dawn reached across the table and touched your arm gently. 

"Did you want me to inform Day? Perhaps the cook prepared some expired food. We can have the kitchen inspected if that's the case," Dawn offered, a small smile on his face. You shook your head. 

"No. It's ok. No one else seems to be affected. I don't want him to worry about me, he has enough on his plate already. Besides, it's a lot better than it was during the night," you explained, picking up Mal and putting him on your lap. Mal grabbed a small piece of the bread loaf for himself and ate happily. There were several small toy spaceships made of wood and various puzzles scattered on the floor around you. 

"These were mine when I was a young child," Dawn explained,"I thought Mal might enjoy some of them as much as I did."

"It seems he already is," you said as the boy picked up one of the spaceships and moved it around with his arm, pretending it was flying. You and Dawn laughed at the sight and looked at one another. Dawn's face changed to one of concern and worry. 

"What is it?" you asked, setting Mal back down on the ground, leaving him to play with the other toys in the room. 

"A source in communication with our fleet that left for Thespis informed us that the silent Invictus was indeed a trap. The units sent out didn't make it. They were completely destroyed," he said, a somber expression on his lips. Your heart sank as you heard him deliver the news. 

"I'm so sorry to hear that. At least the entire fleet wasn't dispatched, Empire was wise in his choice to only send a portion of them," you replied, trying to force a smile out of him. 

"Do you think they will attack here, Doctor?" he asked, his voice almost shaking. 

"It's hard to tell. There are already Anacreonian radicals on the streets of Trantor, that much is certain after the university bombing," you said, watching Mal fidget with one of Dawn's puzzles," they have been bold in their attempts to get the Empire's attention."

"Luckily Trantor is well-protected. Hopefully this won't trigger an intergalactic war," he said in response. 

"That is my hope. War is terrible and I'd hate for you to witness its horror and bloodshed," you replied. 

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to turn this conversation into such a dull and depressing subject," he said, smiling over at Mal. 

"No need to apologize Dawn, these things must be discussed. But if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to find something my stomach will tolerate besides bread," you said and walked over to Mal. 'ill see you later. Be good for Dawn," you signed to him. The boy grinned and told you 'i will, I promise!' before bringing one of the ships over to Dawn to join him in his pretend battle. You waved and exited the room, making your way towards the kitchens.

Walking down the hall, you passed the main courtroom and could hear Day speaking to the council. You quickened your pace, not wanting to eavesdrop on the meeting taking place. As you walked, you noticed that the halls of the palace weren't as busy as they usually were. Not a servant could be found transporting laundry or tending to the cleaning duties in the numerous rooms. You assumed it was just one of those random moments during the day when the corridors were empty. Upon entering the kitchen you nearly tripped over one of the cooks, sprawled out on the floor, unconscious. Immediately you knelt down and checked for a pulse, and thankfully, he was still alive. You noticed a small charred burn mark on the back of his neck where someone had used a stun beam to knock him out. Glancing down the kitchen, you saw the rest of the staff were also on the ground.

Realizing there was something more serious going on, your heart began to race. Still on the ground next to the cook, you frantically thought about what to do. Suddenly, one of the back kitchen doors swung open, and a stunned Esme stumbled into the room, not wearing her typical handmaid attire. Although her appearance threw you off, you were happy to see a familiar face, not lying unconscious on the floor.

“My lady, what are you doing here?” she asked, with a surprisingly calm tone.

“I haven't been feeling well and came here to find something to settle my stomach. We need to get these staff members medical attention,” you said as you stood up, your back to Esme.

“I'm sure they're fine,” she answered, the accent of her voice abruptly changing to a familiar gruff drone. Your eyes widened and you could feel your heart beating out of your chest.

“Empire must be informed that the palace is being infiltrated,” you said, slowly glancing to the side.

“Oh I assure you, he will know soon enough,” Esme replied, and you could hear the charge of a blaster weapon behind you. Without turning your head, you shot your eyes around the room, looking for something to defend yourself with.

“You...this was all you wasn't it?” you asked, voice trembling. Esme chuckled maniacally behind you.

“I am deeply flattered doctor, but I cannot take all of the credit for this beautifully executed ambush,” she replied. You could hear her walking up slowly behind you, stepping over the staff members scattered on the kitchen floor.

“You're Anacreonian, aren't you?” you asked, trying to buy some time, but already knowing the answer.

“Very clever,” she said mockingly, “Raise your arms and turn around, slowly.”

You obeyed and carefully turned to face her, a hateful grin spread across her lips. Her eyes seemed darker and her pupils were dilated, savage and fueled with adrenaline, ready to fire off her weapon at any second.

“How could you do this? I trusted you!” you said, almost yelling. feeling tears fill your eyes, “I don't understand...from the beginning you were there for me...you were the closest thing I had to a friend...”

“What can I say? I played my part well. I must admit, I did feel guilty for my deceptive behavior at first. I felt sorry for you. Taken from your home, no family, a strange new planet, forced to be a prisoner in this palace. I even considered asking you to join our cause. Your skill as a physician is unmatched, which would have been very useful. But your compassion for those less deserving makes you weak,” she said, titling her head in amusement.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, feeling the anger grow in your chest.

“Oh come now doctor, you know exactly what I'm referring to. Or have you forgotten?” she snapped back at you. You stood there in silence, holding back the tears still gathering in your eyes. “Don't you remember the early hours of that morning when Empire fell deathly ill? Racing to his chambers, all of your medical gear in hand? You were so quick to answer that foolish boy's cry for help, you didn't even stop to consider all of the wrong the emperor had done to you. I was hoping that perhaps you would come to your senses and leave him to painfully waste away, allowing the fever to end his miserable life. What a fool I was to believe you could make a logical choice.”

“It's my civic duty as a doctor to honor my pledge to tend to those in need of my help. I was taught that every human life is worth saving,” you said back to her. You could see her grimace and she brought her gun to the side of your head.

“You think he's as human as you and I?! Need I remind you that his Imperial line is responsible for the mass genocide of half of my planet's people!? Are you so blinded by your fondness of him that you cannot see the true monster the empire has become?,” she said back to you.

“I merely took pity on him. I'm merely a doctor under his employ,” you replied. She removed the weapon from your head and looked you up and down, a sly grin on her face.

“My dear Dr. Sterling, you and I both know that's not entirely true, don't we? ” she said, tilting her head playfully and winking one of her eyelids.

“I'm not sure what you're playing at,” you replied.

“Don't worry, your little secret is safe with me. Although you could stand to be a touch more discrete,” she mocked, smiling at you and chuckling to herself.

“What are you talking about?” you asked nervously.

“During the standoff in the square, that tender moment you shared together........And you thought nobody saw it,” she said, chuckling to herself and shaking her head. She seemed amused at your surprised response to her statement.

“You were there?” you replied.

“Yes I was there. In fact, after I ignited the explosives, I set up a sniping post on one of the towers across the street to wait for the emperor,” she said, “I knew the attack would inevitably draw him out. But I did not expect to see his beloved doctor climbing through the rubble.”

“You're responsible for the massacre at the university?! THERE WERE FAMILIES AND CHILDREN INSIDE!!” you screamed at her, “Revenge always comes with a price.”

“Collateral damage is a part of war. It never bothered the empire when they bombed my home, why should I care if his citizens suffer the same fate?” she said cruelly to you.

“So that's it then, your plan is to wage war on the entire galaxy in an act of revenge, inciting more violence,” you said.

“More or less. It's no more than they deserve. Believe me, I had planned to assassinate the emperor that night, but you changed my mind,” she said.

“Changed your mind?” you said to her.

“Indeed you did. You see, when I saw him kiss you the way he did, I came to realize that perhaps I could approach the situation differently. I now have the leverage I need to sway the tide in my favor,” she said stroking the side of your face.

“Leverage for what?” you replied, turning your face away from her.

“Your precious emperor has two of my men in his custody. I will offer your safe return in exchange for their release. I also require the entry codes for the cloning chamber. The time has come to end this delusion of power and bring the dynasty to its knees. If he refuses, I end you in front of him in the same manner you so brutally slaughtered our commander in the square,” she explained, putting her weapon back in its holster.

“You're a monster,” you said angrily.

“I'm afraid you're sorely mistaken, my dear. The real monster is the man you share your bed with,' Esme said, raising her eyebrows, “Tell me, I've always been curious. Is he good lover?”

Out of anger, you quickly grabbed one of the sharper knives on the counter next to you and lunged at her. She easily blocked your blow, and struck you to the ground, your nose bleeding. You felt two men lift you to your feet and place a pair of cuffs on your wrists, securing your arms behind you. She smirked at you and shook her head.

“Rayla, Rayla, Rayla... I thought we were friends? And you choose to pull a knife on me. So high strung and spirited. I can see why the Emperor likes you so much,” she mocked, tucking your hair behind your ears, “try anything of that nature again, and I won't hesitate to force this blade into your skull.”

“You wouldn't dare. You may have tried to kill me before, but now it is pointless, you'll lose your leverage,” you said snidely back to her. You did not forget how the wine had tasted off that night. With all Esme was telling you, it made sense that she would try to murder you quietly.

“Kill you? I have never tried to kill you before. Although I must confess there were several occasions I had fantasized about ending you after discovering your little love affair with that murderous tyrant,” she replied.

“You did something with my wine glass, tampered with it the night I had dinner with the three brothers. Don't deny it,” you explained to her, convinced it would urge her to tell the truth.

“I have never had access to the imperial kitchen before today. Poisoning my enemies is not my preferred choice of action when it comes to revenge. I'd rather my actions be memorable and visible to the public eye. I do not know what malady is plaguing your stomach, but I can assure you I have nothing to do with it. As you said, I would lose my bargaining leverage if you were dead. You are his only weakness and I plan to use that against him,” she replied. Her response surprised you, and you shifted around uneasily in the soldier's grasp. Esme picked up the knife you had tried to stab her with and carefully slid her finger down the blade, admiring it's sharpness.

“That's enough conversation for now. Let's pay your lover a little visit, shall we?” she said to you, nodding at her guards to push you forward, “Don't worry, I won't kill him in front of you. I'm not that cold.”

Walking down the empty corridor to the doors of the main courtroom, Esme kept her eyes on you, her gun firmly in her grasp. As you stopped in front of the double doors, you saw the guards on the ground, blood pooling from their heads. Inside, you could hear the last few council members talking as they prepared to leave. Without warning, she fired on the handle lock to the room and kicked the doors open. Day, who was currently speaking with Obrecht, spun around quickly as Esme approached him, leaving you in the shadows so he couldn't see you were there.

“Many apologies for the abrupt interruption, Empire. I have a proposition for you,” she said.

“Esme?....What is this? Bold of you to assume forced entry will grant you an audience with me. Arrest her,” replied Day, an angry look of betrayal on his face. As the emperor raised his arm, you could hear the guards in the courtroom, charge up their phasers and point them in her direction. She stopped in the middle of the room and laughed, raising her hand in the air.

“Now, Now, Empire I would perhaps try to think things through before you act, the situation is a little more delicate than you are aware of,” she said, snapping her fingers, signaling the guards to push you into the light. As soon as he saw you, Day's eyes immediately glistened, his mouth open in disbelief and fear.

“Rayla....” he said, and started to move towards you. You caught his gaze and lost control of the tears you were holding in, starting to cry.

“I'm sorry...,”you replied, struggling to speak through the sobs coming from your mouth.

“Please...don't harm her. Let her go...,” he pleaded, his voice shaking.

“You really are fond of her aren't you? I will, but first, I would like something in return, if you'll hear me speak,” she said, glaring at him. He quickly lowered his arm, and the guards, set down their weapons.

“What do you want from me?” he asked, walking up to her.

“There are two Anacreonians in your custody, I would like them returned, alive and unharmed to me,” she said to him, “I'm offering your precious doctor in exchange for their safe release.”

“Seems like an unfair trade to me. My doctor for two of your men. You can do better than that,” replied Day, smirking at her.

“Perhaps you're right, maybe we should even the odds. I'd hate to be dishonorable in my offer. Bring the boy,” she ordered. Out of the corner, another man stepped forward, with a struggling Mal in cuffs. You could hear Day gasp as he turned and saw Esme's second half of the leverage. Completely horrified that she would endanger a child for her own personal gain, you lashed out.

“MAL! NO! He's just a boy, he doesn't understand! LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS!” you screamed, fighting against the guards holding your arms. Continuing to pull on your restraints, the guards struggled to keep you in place. Suddenly, Esme took her blaster and fired a shot into the ceiling, silencing your screams. The sharp loud noise momentarily startled you and you could sense that the arrival of your torturous hallucinations were not far behind. You began to shiver, trying to focus on keeping the visions at bay. Unable to sign to Mal to give him any form of comfort, you stood there helpless. She walked up to you and took your chin in her grasp.

“Shhhhh, we're trying to have a civilized conversation. I hate being interrupted,” she said meanly to you, aggressively throwing your chin down. When she turned back to the emperor, you looked over at Mal and moved your lips slowly so he could read them 'it's ok', you said. His face was covered in tears and you could see how scared he was. Every inch of you wanted to rush Esme, taking out your anger on her in every violent way possible.

“Does this seem like a better trade? You deliver my men to me safely, and in exchange, I return your lover and the deaf boy,” she said, fixing one of the latches on her weapon.

“Done,” said Day quickly.

“Ah, ah, ah, you didn't let me finish. There's a catch to this whole agreement. You must bequeath me the codes to your cloning chamber and relinquish your title as emperor,” she added, smirking.

“And what use to you have for those codes if I give them to you?” he asked tilting his head in curiosity.

“If you must know, I plan to end the genetic dynasty permanently. Make your choice Empire, you're running out of time,” said Esme, “The longer you delay, the tighter my grip gets on this trigger...someone may get hurt.”

She fired once again into the air, hitting one of the pillars, sending small pieces of stone to the floor below next to you. Curling his lips into a worried frown, Day was speechless and completely dumbfounded.

“You know I cannot do what you ask of me. I am not in possession of the codes,” he explained. She smiled at him and shook her head and let out a long exasperated exhale. She turned her arm in Mal's direction and pulled the trigger, firing a shot into his side. The boy collapsed on the floor, unconscious. You screamed in horror as he fell and used every bit of strength you had to fight the guards so you could get to him.

“Perhaps you don't understand the gravity of the situation, Empire,” she said, and walked back to where you stood, taking you in her firm grasp, and dragged you in front of the emperor. She pushed you to your knees in front of him and pointed her weapon at the side of your temple. You looked up into his deep green eyes as he glanced down at you, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

“Let's try again, shall we? Your prisoners and the imperial codes, in exchange for her life,” she said, a cruel grin on her lips. The emperor paused for a moment, fighting the tears that continued to gather in his eyes. Esme suddenly fired into the air, in between you and Day, frightening you so badly that you began to panic and closed your eyes, weeping to yourself.

“I'm losing patience, Empire. I will not ask again,” she threatened, grabbing you by your hair, pulling your head back.

“Enough!...I will give you what you request,” said Day, raising his hand and snapping his fingers, “bring the Anacreonians.”

“Yes Empire,” said Obrecht and he turned to the back of the room, nodding to a group of soldiers who brought Esme's comrades forward.

“You see? That wasn't so difficult was it, now?” she said, chuckling to herself. The Anacreonians, still shrouded were presented to her, their cuffs now removed.

“Release her to me and you can have the codes and your men back,” ordered Day, a stern look on his face.

“Unshroud them. I need to ensure that they were truly unharmed in your care,” she replied to him, still gripping tightly to your hair. Day nodded and raised his arm, signaling for his guards to disengage the shroud helmet and bring them into the light. You opened your eyes slightly to observe the exchange and noticed something off about the two prisoners in front of you. Day's expression was less worried, and more calm, as if he was aware of something no one else in the room was privy to.

“Is this satisfactory enough for you?” asked Day, holding out an open palm to the two prisoners standing next to him.

“Indeed it is. But I'll be needing those codes,” she said.

“As you wish,” he replied, motioning over to Demerzel. She handed him a small device with a touchscreen. He placed his palm on the screen and it readily scanned his fingerprints, granting him access. Demerzel slowly walked over to where you both were in the middle of the room and held up the screen to Esme.

“All imperial code access has been granted to you by Cleon XIII, Anacreonian. To accept this transfer, please place your palm in the middle of the screen,” she said, offering the device for her to touch.

“I gladly accept,” she said smugly, “thank you for your cooperation, Empire.” Handing her phaser to one of the guards behind you, she placed her hand on the device, still holding tightly to the locks of your hair tangled in between her fingers.

“No....thank you...,” said Day with a cruel look of satisfaction.

“For what? You've just surrendered your entire legacy to me,” she replied.

As soon as she released her palm from the computer, the two men you thought were the prisoners, quickly dissolved as the particles of the life-like projection faded. Esme shot a surprised and bewildered look at Day as she watched the emperor's illusion shut off.

“For signing as a witness on their death warrants,” replied Day, tilting his head to the side. You could hear the two men who previously restrained you, fall to the ground as imperial guards knocked them unconscious and seized their weapons, along with Esme's phaser. On the other side of the room, Obrecht shoved the real prisoners onto their knees and walked over to the emperor, handing him a blaster. Day took the weapon in his hand and with two quick flashes of red light, fired shots into their heads, ending the men's lives instantly as he pulled the trigger. Esme screamed in horror and looked around for her weapon that she had foolishly handed off. In her anger, she quickly wrapped her arm around your neck, and squeezed tightly, cutting off your air supply.

“Come any closer and I'll kill her...this whore of yours,” she said threateningly, showing her teeth in a furious rage. Day nervously stepped back, but held the blaster steadily in her direction. You began to feel faint and prepared for the demise that was inevitably coming. Before you lost consciousness, you felt her arm loosen and release its grip as she fell to the floor. Still on the ground gasping for breath, you turned to see Dusk, a smoking stun blaster in his hand. Day let out a heavy and grateful sigh of relief and ran over to where you lay. Before his younger brother reached you, Dusk offered his arm and pulled you to your feet. 

"Are you alright my dear?" he asked you tenderly, placing his hand on your shoulder.

"Brother Dusk? Why did you…?" you asked. 

"You are a great many things to my Brother Dr. Sterling, but a whore is not one of them," he said, a kind smile on his face.

"I'm not sure what you mean, Empire," you replied, confused. 

"It's alright, Day explained everything to me," he said. 

"Explained everything?," you asked. You turned and looked at Day, who nodded and smiled.

"Yes. He's expressed to me how he feels about you and according to him, you share these same affections in return. I know we've had our differences in the past, but I will not stand in the way of my brother's happiness," he replied. 

"You...you're ok with it? My memory has been untouched since the beginning" you said in disbelief. He stepped in closer to you and spoke so only you could hear.

"I am. As long as you keep your nose out of imperial politics, I see no problem with your current intimate involvement with my Brother. If you adhere to my request, there is no reason to rob you of your memories with him," he said, leaning in close to your ear. 

"I….I don't know what to say….I am most grateful. I don't know how to thank you," you said, feeling tears fill your eyes.

"You can express your thanks by forgiving me for treating you so poorly since your arrival on Trantor," he said, tilting his head. 

"Of course, Empire. But saving my life is repayment enough," you said, bowing your head in reverence.

"Excellent. I believe at last, we finally understand one another, doctor," he said smiling. You turned to the emperor and quickly ran up to him, wrapping him in a warm embrace. You could feel his large hand pull your head close to his chest as he happily held you in response. Suddenly, you looked up at him, a worried look in your eyes.

"Mal…," you said and frantically freed yourself from Day to run over to the small boy. He lay there lifeless but his chest was still moving up and down as he breathed. You checked the boy's side to inspect the severity of his wound. He was bleeding slightly, but the heat of the blast had partially cauterized the opening. While you were applying pressure, Mal slowly opened his eyes and looked up at you. You brought a closed fist to your chest and moved it in a circular motion to say 'im sorry.' He smiled and signed back to you 'doesnt even hurt'. Holding back tears, you laughed and said 'you are a very brave little boy''. Taking Mal into your arms you glanced to your side and saw Day kneel next to you. 

"He's lucky. If she had aimed any higher, she would have killed him," you said to Day. His eyes were glistening and you could tell he felt responsible.

"I'm guessing you'll want to keep watch over him while he heals," he said, looking at you fondly. You nodded.

"How did you know?" you asked, teasing him.

"Lucky guess," he teased back and helped you stand as you held Mal close in your arms. He placed his hand on your back and looked over at Obrecht. 

"Shadow Master. Please make arrangements to have several guards posted at my doors for the rest of the day and into the night. The doctor will tend to our young friend in my chambers. You are also entrusted with the protection and security of the imperial family until all of the participants in this infiltration are weeded out and disposed of," said Day sternly. 

"On my honor, Empire," Obrecht said in response, and bowed. A line of soldiers followed him as he began to walk out of the room. Day stopped his shadow master and leaned into his ear.

"How is Dawn?" Day asked with a concerned tone.

"He is stable, Empire. I have the medics working on him now," replied Obrecht. 

"Thank you. I'll be around to check on him once I get Rayla and the boy safely secured. Make sure the traitor is locked up under maximum security," he said and turned back to you. Obrecht resumed walking and placed cuffs on the unconscious Anacreonian on the floor where she lay. Lifting Esme over  his shoulder, he exited the room, a group of soldiers following closely behind. The emperor's personal guards lined up on either side of you and Day, and escorted you to his chamber doors. Once inside, he helped you make sure Mal was comfortable in his bed. You removed the boy's bloody shirt and began to carefully clean the wound with a warm cloth. He winced as you touched the cloth to his skin, and slightly opened his eyes.

 You applied the antiseptic pen to the opening and sanitized the injury. Taking some clean linen, you wrapped Mal's waist, making sure the opening was completely covered. Day leaned on one of the bed posts and watched you work with his arms crossed, a small smile on his face as he admired your skill. You signed to Mal and told him 'you need to rest now. Get some sleep' he gestured back to you a weak 'ok' with one hand. You made your way through the maze of flowing fabric that surrounded Day's bed and took the Emperor's hand. He led you to the balcony and faced you, placing his hand tenderly on your cheek. Tears began to fall down his face and he shyly smiled at you. 

"Rayla...I...I'm so sorry… all this time I had her care for you, putting you in danger...I…," he said through muffled sobs. You looked up at him kindly, your own eyes starting to water. You began to gently wipe the tears from his skin.

"Shhh...none of this is your fault. She fooled all of us, even me. How could you have known?" you said softly to him, weaving your hands through his hair. He took a hold of your hand and kissed your palm. 

"I nearly lost you today. I don't ever want to feel that fear again," he said, leaning down to your lips. He pressed his mouth to yours and kissed you, holding your body close to his chest. For a moment you pulled away and smiled at him.

"You won't, I promise. I'm safe in my emperor's arms. No one would dare harm me now," you said, winking at him. 

"That's because no one threatens the emperor's woman and gets away with it," said Day, smirking at you. He let out a small laugh and lifted you into his arms and off of the floor. His mouth opened as he began to kiss you more passionately and desperately. He carried you with one hand holding your legs and the other wrapped around your back, his hand tightly holding your shoulder. You had both of your hands woven in his dusty brown hair, ruffling it fiercely as he kissed you. Eventually he sat down with you on his lap on one of the large day beds near the balcony. Your passionate kisses began to gradually slow down until they became soft and gentle. He held you there in his arms and looked deeply into your eyes. 

"I need to go check on Dawn. He was injured on his way to warn us about Esme's treachery. If it wasn't for him, you might not have made it. I promise I will return. In the meantime, make sure you eat," he said. He lifted you to your feet and led you over to a tray that had been placed on one of the tables. He opened the lid to reveal a warm bowl of stew.

"I was informed of your unruly stomach earlier today. The cook thought some soup would ease your discomfort. Please eat. I will return within the hour," he said to you, handing you a spoon. 

"Thank you. It's improved throughout the day but I'm sure this will help greatly, Empire," you replied and kissed him on the cheek before he turned to leave. When the door closed you cautiously brought a spoonful of broth to your lips and immediately felt relief as the hot liquid filled your stomach. Finishing your soup you dressed for bed and walked over to Day's bed where Mal was sleeping. You carefully crawled into bed next to him and checked the bandages, making sure he didn't bleed through. A little over an hour later, you heard the door open as Day returned. He unbuttoned his robe and discarded it on the floor, leaving his trousers on. He  walked quietly over to the bed and climbed under the sheets behind you and pressed his bare chest into your back. Reaching across your side, he wrapped his flexed arm around you and turned your head slowly to face him. Kissing you gently on the lips, he softly caressed the side of your face. 

"Goodnight," he whispered into your ear. Before drifting off to sleep, he planted sweet kisses along your neckline. You laughed quietly and faced him, placing your hands on his chest. He held you close to him, and as he did, you shifted slightly at the surprising tenderness of your chest. 

"You alright?," he asked.

"I'm okay. Just a little jumpy after what happened today," you said to him, ignoring the mysterious pain.

"I can imagine," he replied and softly kissed your forehead. 

"I didn't know your long chats with Dusk this past week were about us," you said.

"I figured I should explain everything to him before he found out on his own. Besides, I figured his approval of you would ease some of the tension," he explained, his eyes reflecting the dim light of the candles in the room.

"It has and I am most grateful you were able to calm his concerns about me," you said. Pressing your lips to his tenderly. 

"It will take some time for him to get comfortable and used to the idea, but I promise he will come around," Day replied and happily returned a kiss in response. He held you close and you stared at each other longingly until your eyes grew heavy with exhaustion. Mal's tiny breaths quietly resounded in the background and you grinned as you felt Day's toned chest flex under your fingertips as he fell into a deep sleep. With his arms around you and the guards outside the door, you felt safe enough to give in to your body's need to rest. Tucking your head under his chin, you gradually fell asleep in his arms. 

[seconds-not-decades]

Step {Back} In Time

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem! OC

Author's Note: Hello and welcome. This is my season two fic (and sequel to Time and Chase). I will be posting daily. *Please note that I am well aware that Elliot Page portrays Viktor, but due to season one being before his transition, that is why his character is still Vanya. I am not deadnaming him and I sincerely hope I don't come across as such. I will transition when I write season three.*

Warnings: cursing and violence.

Previous | Next

Valhalla

~ * ~

On April the 1st, 2019, the Earth was destroyed in a cataclysmic event.

Billions of people were wiped out in a matter of minutes.

Ironically, the seven survivors of the apocalypse were the very family members who brought it on.

~ * ~

Diego, Five, Karina, and Lila watched Sir Reginald's car disappear into the night.

"You know, I'm starting to get the feeling Dad's avoiding us," Five commented rather bitterly.

Lila sighed as she looked around. "Hate to be the boring one, guys, but, uh, it's time we get the hell out of here."

"When you say "we," who exactly are you referring to?" Five questioned in her wake.

"Not a lot of ambiguity in that sentence," Lila looked at him.

"Listen, I don't know who you are or where you came from, but whatever it is, I'd advise you return posthaste," Five snapped.

"She's right, Five. We gotta get outta here," Diego agreed.

"I just saved your life and your precious wife's life, you kinder-shit!" Lila was in disbelief. "If I hadn't stepped in, all that would be left of you is a blazer and some bloody socks and your wife would have been beaten to a bloody pulp with her pretty head split in two!" she was glaring him down.

"And that's the problem," Five bit out, grasping Karina protectively and supportively. "You're too good. You ask too many questions. You know too much."

"And you fight like you know what you're doing," Karina weakly added, coughing some.

"They've got a point," Diego admitted.

Lila scoffed in disbelief. "So I know how to handle myself, and that makes me the bad guy? Come on. Though she may have gotten bested a bit, Karina was holding her own pretty well."

"Leave Rina out of this," Five seethed. "Whoever you are, you're in our way. If I see you again, I will kill you."

Lila watched them walk past her and then once they were in the clear, Five blinked out with Karina back to Elliot's place to get her healed.

~ * ~

Luther was cooking eggs the next morning and the sun was shining. Five, Diego, and Karina looked as rested as could be.

"No, no, no, I don't understand. They keep following me," Diego was pacing.

"Wait, who?" Luther wanted to know.

"Those Dutch sociopaths."

"They're Swedish, you idiot," Five corrected him in exasperation. "Hired guns paid to eradicate us before we do any more damage to this timeline." He waved his cup of coffee around.

"Yeah, but why now? I mean, I'm-" he snapped his fingers aggressively as he continued, "Fine for three months until you two showed up!"

"Yeah, I was here for a year and no one messed with me," Luther added nonchalantly.

"Even if it was my fault-which it isn't- we only have six days before the end of the world, and the closest anyone's gotten to Dad was that driveway at the consulate," Five defended himself.

"Well…" Luther trailed off with a sigh. "That's not exactly true."

Everyone slowly turned to look at him.

"What do you mean?" Five questioned, stalking over to Diego's side.

"I saw him," Luther answered.

Luther recounted his story, starting with after he landed in the alley. He explained that he saw Sir Reginald once and took a bus to his home to see him, but Sir Reginald didn't recognize him and kicked him out. Then he came back to Dallas after that failed mission.

"That's pathetic," Diego commented, sitting across from Luther who was busily eating his eggs.

Luther scoffed, his mouth full. "Yeah, well, at least he didn't shank my ass."

Diego leaned forward. "No, bro, he shanked your heart."

Five and Karina looked at him in confusion and exasperation.

"Mm," Luther shoved another spoonful of eggs into his mouth.

"Is that my bathrobe?" Elliot pointed to him.

"No."

"Look, who cares what he shanked?" Five got everyone back on track. "He knows something about time travel."

Elliot raised his arm. "Um…wait, why don't you just do your thing and, uh, time travel us out?"

"Anyone care to explain?" Five scoffed, getting to his feet.

"First time he tried, he got lost in the apocalypse," Karina began.

"Second time, he ended up without hair on his balls," Diego continued.

"Last time I tried, I scattered my family across three years in Dallas, Texas, possibly triggering a doomsday," Five poured himself another cup of coffee and refilled Karina's cup of tea. "Any more questions, Elliott?"

"Uh, no," Elliot shook his head quickly.

"Sorry, you'll have to excuse him. He's the personification of an angry chihuahua," Karina told him casually, taking the cup of tea from Five.

"You're missing the big picture. Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that's planning to kill the president," Diego told Luther.

"A cabal?" Luther had his mouth full again.

"Ignore him," Five cut in. "Look, the way I see it, we only have one option."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?" Luther wanted to know.

"It's time to get the Umbrella Academy back together," Five answered.

"Hell, yeah. Family meeting," Diego grinned.

"Okay then, can one of you get Allison, please?" Luther requested.

Diego glanced at him. "You two still a thing?"

Luther motioned with his head.

Diego leaned forward and whispered, "Do we need to talk?"

"No, she's married," Luther replied.

"Whoa. Dude, that's rough," Diego said.

"I can handle it," Luther sarcastically chuckled.

"Rina and I will get her," Five spoke up. "Can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" he eyed him.

"I'll try."

Five nodded and blinked out with Karina.

~ * ~

Five, Karina, Allison, and Klaus entered the building from below.

"Hello?" Allison called out.

"Le petit mort, le petit mort," Klaus repeated himself.

Allison eyed him. "What? You don't speak French."

"It's "the little death"."

They both chatted indistinctly and Allison laughed as Diego, Luther, and Vanya came out from above.

"Oh, wow. Look at this old stuff," Klaus looked around at the TVs and radios. Everyone looked at one another in astonishment. "Oh, wow. I know this is impossible, but…did we all get sexier?" he asked.

Diego, Luther, and Vanya came down.

"Vanya," Allison went over to her with Karina.

Vanya smiled. "I can't believe I have another sister."

"I missed you."

"Thank God someone did," Vanya chuckled softly and they both chuckled before hugging it out. Allison grinned and pulled Karina into the hug.

Klaus grunted while he hugged Diego.

"Oh, you are drunk," Diego pulled back.

"Yeah. No, just a little. Just a few-oh, that's so sweet," Klaus saw Allison, Vanya, and Karina hugging.

He went over and flung his arms around the trio.

"No. Jesus!" Allison grunted and Vanya giggled.

"Hi," Vanya greeted.

"Hey, Vanny," Klaus returned.

"Klaus," Five spoke up as Karina rejoined his side. He softly smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Is Ben here?"

"Oh, uh…no. No, unfortunately, ghosts can't time travel," Klaus lied airily.

"Are you kidding me?" Ben was sitting behind them.

"All right, then. Let's get down to business," Five went upstairs with Karina.

Klaus looked at Vanya. "So, Vanny, what's new?"

"Hey, Diego," Allison peered over at him, but he was going up the stairs. "Can't say hi to nobody?"

"Hi, Allison," he grumbled.

"What was that?" she prodded from her side of the staircase.

"Hi, Allison!" he yelled.

"Thank you!"

Everyone settled down, looking at Five, who was standing.

"All right. First off, I wanna say I'm sorry," he began. "I know I really screwed the pooch on this whole going-back-in-time-and-getting-stuck thing. But the real kick in the pants here is we brought the end of the world back here with us."

"Oh, my God, again?" Klaus complained, causing everyone to stare at him. "All of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-oh, my God." He gasped dramatically. "My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five! Karina! I told them we had until 2019!"

"We have until Monday," Five sighed.

"We have six days," Karina added solemnly.

"Is it Vanya?" Klaus took a sip of his drink.

"Klaus!" Allison scolded him.

"What? It's usually Vanya."

"Do you have any leads, Five?" Vanya looked at him.

Diego handed him a file.

"Yeah, we have one," Five passed the file to Allison.

"Holy shit, is that Dad?" she asked, shocked.

"Yeah," Five nodded.

Vanya peered over. "That's him?"

"Standing on the grassy knoll," Diego put in.

"Diego and I have been trying to talk to Dad about what exactly this means," Five continued. "So far, we've got nothing."

"Not nothing," Diego disagreed. "He's planning to kill Kennedy."

"Maybe," Five remarked. "But we don't know who or what sets doomsday in motion. Could be Kennedy, could be something entirely independent."

"But if we know something changes the timeline, we have to make it right," Luther spoke up.

"Yeah, but how, if we don't know what's broken?" Allison pointed out.

Diego scoffed. "Come on. Do the math. We know Dad's having shady-ass meetings with some shady-ass people. We know he's on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president. So I think we all know what we have to do."

"Find Dad," Five said at the same time as Diego said, "Kill Dad."

Everyone shot Diego a look.

"None of us are supposed to be here, right?" Vanya asked. "I mean, what if it's us? Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?"

There was a moment of silence as everyone exchanged a look.

"Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald," Luther shot.

"And you're working for Jack Ruby!" Diego shot back.

"Allison has been very involved in local politics," Klaus casually stated.

Allison whipped to glare at him. "Okay, you started a cult."

"Thank you!" Ben agreed.

"I'm…I'm just a…a nanny on a farm," Vanya admitted while Klaus growled and hissed at Allison like a cat.

"I don't have anything to do with all of that," Vanya said.

"Well, maybe you do, we just don't know it yet," Karina gently returned.

Diego whistled sharply. "Listen to yourselves. Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy. That can't be a coincidence," he began listing off, "Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, Dad is on the grassy knoll, Klaus is…doing something weird and pervy but probably related. See, clearly, we were all sent back here for one special reason: saving John Fitzgerald Kennedy."

Here came the overlapping arguments. Five just stared at his family in regret and exasperation. Karina rolled her eyes at the bickering siblings, going over to Five's side. He wordlessly wrapped his arm around her, looking down as he lightly rapped his fingers against her ribcage. She watched the arguments continue as Five thought over the memories of the war he and Karina saw when they first landed here.

"Five? Five, are you there?" Karina's voice echoed and snapped him back to the present.

"This is bigger than all of us!" Diego exclaimed.

"Guys, you all die," Five interrupted the family, his grasp tightening around Karina's waist.

Everyone ceased their fighting and looked at him.

"Rina and I were there. We saw it," he continued solemnly, feeling his voice catch. "And I wanna forget it, but I can't. We saw Russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it…in a war that never happened until we brought it here."

"And Hazel gave his life to save us, so you may need to shut up and just listen to him," Karina spoke.

"I don't know if the things we've experienced here are all connected," Five sighed. "I don't know if there's a reason for everything. But Dad will. We need to talk to him before everyone and everything we know is dead."

"Okay, I'm out," Luther immediately shot to his feet with a sigh.

"Did you even hear us, Luther?" Five stared at him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. I heard a 58-year-old man who still wants his daddy to come and fix everything," Luther remarked. "Well, you can count me out. It's time we all grew the hell up."

"Luther!" Karina followed Luther out.

"Come back," Diego chased after him.

"Where you going?" Klaus asked.

"Save it, Diego," Luther snipped.

Five blinked out and reappeared in front of Luther. He sighed.

"No one leaves until we figure this out," Five told him.

Luther stared down at him for a second before he grabbed a fistful of Five's shirt and tossed him over the railing. He yelled and blinked out before he fell onto the floor.

"FIVE!" Karina shouted and shoved her way past the two. She whipped around to Luther angrily. "God, you are such an asshole! You try watching your family die twice and see how easy it is to try figuring out to save them and the world with a limited amount of days!"

Before Luther could react, she ran out of the building and rushed into the alleyway where Five was.

"Five, are you okay?" she asked him, checking him over briefly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine, love," he reassured her. "Jeez…when did the monkey learn to fight dirty?" he wrinkled his nose.

Suddenly a rock fell down near them and they looked up to see Lila on the roof, racing off and then appeared on the street.

"Son of a bitch," Five breathed out.

The two exchanged a look, glancing back at the building. Then the two raced off to track Lila down.

~ * ~

The two followed Lila to a seemingly old abandoned building.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Karina whispered to Five.

He sighed. "Well, we'll see how this goes first."

He blinked them inside to where Lila was. She turned around to face them.

"What's your game, crazy lady?" Five shot.

"Who cares? You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me," Lila sarcastically shot back. "I see you brought your back-up. How sweet."

"Oh, I remember," Five sarcastically said.

"Well, come on, big talker. Let's get this done."

"All right."

Five blinked to her other side and she punched him, knocking him to the ground with a grunt. Lila swung to kick Karina, but she ducked beneath her and slid past, watching her run off. Karina helped Five up as they ran after her.

Five blinked them out and in front of Lila before flipping around and kicking her across the face. Lila dodged punches and gave punches, alternating between the two. She kicked Five back and shoved Karina into a crate, taking off again.

The two scrambled to their feet and looked around.

Lila chuckled from behind them. "I'm waiting."

Five blinked them to her but, Lila was nowhere to be found.

She laughed when they whipped around to face her. He blinked to her again but she was gone. She was casually standing behind them again.

"Fed up yet, Five? Karina?" she arrogantly shot.

Five grabbed a nearby pole and blinked to where she was, smashing the pole against an electrical box.

Five turned as Lila kicked him down. Karina punched her and blocked her arm, uppercutting her in the stomach. Lila tried to kick Five, but Karina swung from below and knocked her leg out, making her fall on her back. Lila grunted when she landed and Five immediately stepped on her throat, making her  cry out. She grabbed his foot, fighting against him.

"You two are better than I thought," she wheezed out.

"And you are entirely average," Five shot back coldly. He clenched his jaw as Lila softly choked. "You can come out now," he called.

The one and only Handler appeared, her heels clacking menacingly on the floor. "Well done. You two figured it out."

"Well, it wasn't very hard," Karina coolly stated.

"She fights like every one of you Commission drones," Five added.

"Hmm," the Handler mused. "No matter, here we are. Together again. And you brought your darling wife, too, how sweet. I've gotta ask…did you miss me, you little shits?"

Lila coughed, laughing as Five and Karina death glared at The Handler.

~ * ~

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Let the Stars Witness

Okay okay holy— omg I did it! My first request and from an admired writer of mine no less!

From @kim-monsterlings : Hi and welcome!! Really looking forward to seeing your work! ~ If you would, could I request some form of friends to lovers with an orc? (Prompts maybe like, "you deserve better.") Thank you! <3

Since it wasn't specified on what their genders are, I hope your okay with what I went with! And I kinda trailed off from the prompt (or rather it's different but similar)

Anyways you'll know when you read!

•

Pairing: Male Orc (Duruk) x Human Fem!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: None.

•

"You know, I never thought I would be friends with anyone here, especially with someone other than my, well, species," you tell your companion, your eyes not leaving the cloudless night sky as you lied on your back on the roof of his house. The stars were out tonight.

If you told your younger self that you'd be having great escapades (if running away and getting into a series of trouble fall under that) with an orc, you would most definitely cry your eyes out because you thought were being teased, taking it as a hurtful comment. You were sensitive like that. Part of the reason why no one would even go near you, afraid they might hurt you with a pat on the shoulder or with one word alone. You became the prime target of bullies, finding twisted amusement at your pathetic reactions. A crybaby, they called you. But it wasn't your fault you didn't have much control over your emotions. You were weird, asocial, timid, maybe even depressed. Having a neglectful family didn't help either, it just worsened.

•

The morning you met Duruk was after the orientation. And it was not so good for a first impression.

Long story short, you cried.

But since you're perhaps curious as to what happened exactly, let's elaborate.

You had your headphones on, the melodic sound of gentle rain played in a 3-hour loop and blocked out other noises, your eyes glued to the path you were on. You took long and hurried steps, wishing you could teleport to your classroom and hide in the back, disappear or become invisible.

You were distracted, or should we say, focused on the ground and expecting everyone to step aside and let you through.

Well, except for the one who had his back on you.

You crashed—not an exaggeration— into something- someone massive. You stumbled back and landed on your bum, wincing from the impact. Luckily, your headphones were safe (ah yes, priorities), detaching from your ears and landing on your shoulders. When you looked up to see who it was, you thought your eyes were gonna fall off, grow little legs, and scamper away.

Before you stood an orc, halfway turned to glance at whoever it was that tried to push him, his sharp tusks jutting out from his maw. His brows were furrowed as he looked down on you. Sure, he wasn't as tall as the orcs you've seen around the city and campus but still was over 6 feet, with muscles thicker than your thighs, easily hulking you.

You tried to get out an apology and run as far as you could go, but you just sat there, frozen as you strained your neck to meet his gaze, you couldn't look away. Your heart was trying to claw its way out into the surface.

Then you felt the tears swell up.

They cascaded down your face before you even could stop them.

The orc's eyes widened at your reaction and crouched down to your level in an instant that he almost fell over. His hands hovered, not sure what to do.

"Hey, hey, please don't cry. Please don't—"

"I-I-I'm re..really s-sorry p-please don't hurt m-me..." You managed to choke out pathetically, hiccuping in every word.

"Shhh now hey, it's okay. It was an accident— what? No! Why would I do that?" he replied. The orc peeked over his shoulder and to the sides. "Let's get you to somewhere, uh, less crowded," he added. You turned your head and saw that you had an audience, whispers went around as they sent pitiful and disgusted glances in your direction, only making you cry even more.

He proceeded to unceremoniously lift you into his arms, bridal style, and dashed away. You gripped the front of his shirt and shut your eyes. You were trembling now, scared of what he might do to you. How could you even fight back with your small stature?

It wasn't long until you felt him slow down and placed you carefully on a bench. The orc knelt in front of you, brows scrunched up as he studied your face.

"You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

You didn't reply, only staring at him through your glassy eyes as you heaved.

You flinched when his hand started rubbing your back, his other hand placed on the side of the bench to balance himself.

He continued to caress your back and murmured soothing words in hopes of calming you down.

Your tears didn't stop falling until moments later when you came down from your initial fear, the warmth of his palm leaving your back once you did. All the while the orc remained where he was, at a loss of what to do next.

You rubbed your sticky face with the collar of your pale and blotchy crimson sweater, sniffing and taking slow, deep breaths before you spoke.

"I... I'm sorry for causing you trouble. E-Even going as far as to take me somewhere quiet. I...appreciate that." You thought you'd pass out with the way people gathered around you, it was suffocating. "Thank you..."

"I panicked," he started, "Sorry—I mean, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I get that a lot of people run away from the sight of me, but you didn't, and just froze there on the ground so..." he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.

You shook your head. He was such an imposing figure to many, their first thought was most likely to get away or scream at him.

"You looked angry... When I bumped into you." You slammed into him actually, but he didn't budge an inch. Guess it was one-sided.

"Oh, that? Well, my brother scolds me a lot for having such a grumpy face, scaring humans away. Like he was the one to talk when he's taller and bigger than me! People would faint on the spot when they see him, I bet!"

The image your mind conjured up tore a laugh out of your body, two orcs arguing about how not to terrify people at sight was damn hilarious. When was the last time someone made you laugh like this?

The orc grinned, your reaction a contrast to that of earlier.

You opened your mouth to say something but the ringing of the great bell resounded, cutting you off. The two of you stood up as you realized you were late for your first class of the school year.

"So, uh, what now?" you asked.

"How about we go to our class, then maybe meet up later? Oh, fu— my mother will gut me— I haven't introduced myself!" He blurted out, his voice making you yelp with the sudden outburst.

Clearing his throat, he reached out, "I'm Duruk."

In turn, you gave him your name, taking his hand and smiled. "Hello, Duruk."

•

True to his word, you met again later when lunch came. The cafeteria was packed so you settled on getting the convenience food they offered and eat somewhere quiet.

Your conversation that day spiraled when you found out the two of you had a lot in common. From your favorite rock band to your favorite flavor of ice cream.

You both strongly agreed that vanilla ice cream was superior.

You agreed to meet up during breaks, always having something to chat about.

Eventually, you became inseparable.

He even changed and transferred to your class just so the two of you could be together at the start of the day rather than walk half of the campus to see each other every time.

You became best friends, sharing each moment in school, may it be helping the other stay awake in a boring class, or copying homework when one of you forgot to do it. Soon enough, Duruk started inviting you to his house to hang out. He did mention he had four other siblings, but he lived alone. You came by almost every night and on whole weekends to escape from home, only a few miles in between. No one would notice you gone anyways, but you returned around midnight, not wanting to impose on Duruk no matter what he says, so he walks you back instead.

You basked in each other's company. The odd and scrutinizing glares didn't go unnoticed when you two were together, but you shrugged them all off.

It didn't take long before you started having feelings for the orc, a little wishful thinking that you could be more than friends. You noted lately that his touches would linger seconds longer than usual, hugs and even a hand on your shoulder and back seem to be warmer and —you dare say— affectionate. It weighed heavily on your heart, your simple crush turned into something else, and it only grew with each passing day, and every laugh you shared.

But of course, you swatted those away, buried them deep inside every damn time they climb back up. Who could even love you? Yes, you have Duruk, he likes you, you think. But that's the end of it. Just close buddies. You can't take the risk of ruining your friendship with him and make things awkward with the only one you had! What if he stops talking to you, weirded out by your confession? You don't want to go back to being alone again, your heart can't take the rejection that came with it.

So you endured.

•

A little over five months ever since the embarrassing accident, here you are now, stargazing with your best friend.

"Well, good thing you didn't watch where you were going that time then," he says, chuckling beside you. His hands cushioned his head against the hard surface. "I wouldn't have..." he trails off.

"Hm, what?" you ask. Duruk went silent and didn't answer you for a time. You were about to let it slide but then he breathes in audibly.

"I wouldn't have met an angel if you did. Should've caught you in my arms, but sadly I didn't move fast enough." He replies, his voice deep and mellow.

You straighten up and turn to face him, your brows shot up, incredulous to what he just implied.

"W-Wait. What?" you squeak, your heart thumping hard in your chest, your skin warming up even in the chilled night air.

Is he—

"You're so cute, y'know that? Fuck it, it's all or nothing," he whispers under his breath as he sits up to face you. His expression was unreadable, but you see in his mahogany eyes a familiar glint of determination. "I'm not good with long-ass speeches so I'll make this short," he breathes in before he continues, "I feel something for you, for a while now, more than a best friend does, like...in a romantic sense. I want to cherish you and hold you in my arms every time I see you, I- ah fuck- damn it I just��" he growls, "I love you, so much and if you don't love me back then please re—"

You shut him off with your lips against his, Duruk's tusks pressing against your cheeks as you held his face in your hands. He was stunned for two solid seconds before returning the kiss, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you close and into his lap.

You feel something wet roll down your hand and you immediately jerked back to see his face. The orc was crying.

Did you do it wrong? Were you so terrible at it—

"I don't deserve you... A monster like me doesn't deserve an angel like you."

Where was this coming from??

"Say that again, I dare you."

"I don't de—"

This idiot!

You pecked his lips to cut him off.

"You big dummy," you begin, "I love you too, idiot. You may be a monster but not what everyone else defines you as. I love you as you are. You're my best friend, and dare I say my l-lover now. Is that right...?"

Duruk gives you a small, gentle smile, "If you'll have me, then yes, for as long as you want me to be." He says, sniffling a sob as a couple more tears tumbled down his rugged face.

You never thought you'd see him like this. He was the one who kept making you laugh with his stories and terrible jokes. Before you, in your hands was someone vulnerable, his eyes soft and fond as he gazed into yours.

It made your heart pound and it hurt.

You leaned in and he met you halfway, kissing once again, deeper and more intimate this time. Real. You brought your arms around his neck, your tears spilling out and he tightened his grip around you. It felt like a dream, too good to be true, but the way he hugged you like you were the only thing that anchored him in this world made you believe it wasn't. All of this was real and you couldn't be anymore happier.

From above, the glittering stars, the light gentle as they shone, bear witness to two freed hearts, bottled up feelings gushing out like a broken dam as you embraced one another and lost yourselves in the moment of bliss, cheeks stained and clothes lightly damp from the tiny rivulets of liquid that dropped down.

It's a lovely night, isn't it?

[barnesbabee]

𝓹𝓵𝓪𝔂 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 - 𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓮

|| ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ || ⇜ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ - 9 - ɴᴇxᴛ⟿

⟿ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: No sensible person would turn down their boss if they looked good as good as Seonghwa. But maybe they would wish they had…

⟿ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ: CEO!Seonghwa x reader, bestfriend!Yunho x reader || Social Media!AU

A/N: Next chapter will be a spicy one, not in the way you might think

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: (send me a DM or an ask to be added) @ateezappreciation @shinyddeonghwa @lilithpooped @cloudyyeonnie@yeosangmystar @wooyoung-a @sanisms @mingismoon @lovelyvitamin @anawwyd @annasbannas @im-just-trying-to-survive-man @uglychildd @oddlittlefandomist

The next couple of days at work were torture.

You could feel Seonghwa's burning stare when you weren't looking, and when you were, you could see him undressing you with his eyes. He looked at you like he was hungry and oh did you love the attention. Unfortunately, Friday, the day of the date, he had gone out for a meeting. At least your outfit would stun him later on...

He made sure to know you hadn't been forgotten, however. You liked how he didn't take you for granted. Seonghwa would send some provocative photos (to which you gladly replied) and some cheeky comments.

Seonghwa: Not seeing you all day is driving me crazy... I need to see you as soon as possible, why don't you come a little earlier? Say, after work?

You tried not to overreact too much, seeing that you were still at work, but you couldn't help a pathetic little squeal. You agreed immediately and confirmed you'd be at his place after texting San, saying that today you wouldn't need a ride.

"You look awfully happy today." Wooyoung commented as he leaned his hip against your desk.

You opened your mouth to give him an excuse (you didn't want to be bragging about your date with the hottest man to walk the heart), but Wooyoung was quicker.

"I know about you and Seonghwa, don't try to lie to me." He said with a devilish smile.

You were a little confused for a second, how the fuck did he know? You and Seonghwa were very discrete... But then it hit you.

"Would you like front row seats for Choi San's funeral?"

Wooyoung laughed at that.

"Well, it wasn't only him who snitched on your date. Seonghwa, despite looking the way he does, doesn't get a lot of ladies. Head always in the work... Also, he's a huge fucking dork in a suit and tie. He's not as mean and tough as he seems to be, he's really excited for tonight. It's adorable, really, so don't fuck it up missy." He jokingly warned, pointing a finger at you.

"Don't worry, I don't plan on it. How are you and San doing, by the way. Things seem to be moving fast."

Wooyoung blushed slightly and looked away, it was the first time you actually saw Wooyoung act shy.

"He's a great guy... I can't say any more or else you'll snitch what I said but... I like where it's going, I think we're a good match. Thank you, uh, thank you for telling him about me."

You wondered how the two most annoying people you had ever met (in a good way... sort of) could be so adorable.

"You're very welcome."

You smiled at him and, just as he was turning away, you whispered.

"Oh and he said you have a great ass."

Wooyoung looked at you with wide eyes and scurried away. To yell at San, you supposed.

You looked at the clock on the wall, and it was ticking slower and slower by the second, it seemed. You were counting down the seconds.

Once the golden time finally came, you were already out the door with your phone in your hand ready to call an uber.

You were waiting in the humongous garage of the company when a black van pulled up.

"Oh? Such a big car for one person only..." You thought.

However, as you were stepping forward to ask the driver if he was there for you, a male figure dressed fully in black grabbed you and threw you in the back of the van, closing the door shut and locking it.

In there, there was another man who tied your hands behind your back and muffled you.

To say you were scared was an understatement. Once you had time to properly understand what took place in about 10 seconds, you were petrified. Your legs were shaking and you were crying.

What was going on!? Did Seonghwa have any enemies!? Did they know about you and decided to take you as some sort of leverage!? You started breathing heavily and passed out from the panic and stress. When you woke up, you were in a dark, cold empty room. Nothing but the cliché sound of water dripping down onto the grey concrete floor. There was a very flimsy-looking door, that you were sure you could break down, but decided not to, in fear of the other side.

You no longer had any restraints, but it didn't make you feel any freer.

You were kept there, for hours.

You didn't know what time it was, you didn't know where you were, who those people were, or what they wanted.

You just kept sulking in the corner, knees hugged to your chest, imagining that you'd eventually meet your fate.

Out of nothing, the door burst open.

A panicking, out of breath Yunho barged in. His eyes instantly met yours and he knelt beside you.

"Oh my God, are you okay!?" He asked, examining your body.

A wave of relief washed over you upon seeing a familiar face, and you didn't hesitate in hugging him. He hugged you just as tightly, not wanting to let go.

Once you did, he caressed your face and looked into your eyes.

"See? You're not safe with that pesky CEO, he didn't even care that you were, you should come back to me, I'll keep you safe."

The second those words processed in your mind you shoved him away and stood up, weakly, as you hadn't eaten in hours.

"You fucking psycho! You orchestrated all this so you could play the part of hero and try to shit on Seonghwa!"

He stood up and tried walking towards you, seemingly offended.

"Y/N I would never-"

"Don't even try me. How the fuck would you even find me!? Oh and did you come alone!? Did you fight off the two guys that took me all by yourself!?"

Yunho was speechless.

"I just wanted to show you that I cared!"

You walked towards the door, angrily.

"Don't ever come near me again. Or I'm getting a restraining order." You told him, teary-eyed.

Although he was your ex you still loved him very much, as a friend of course. He was someone who you'd always treasured and trusted, even after you broke up, and seeing it all come apart like that broke your heart.

You walked outside of the building you could now recognize as an old school, and looked around.

You had no fucking idea where you were, and in a desperate fit, you called Seonghwa.

He answered quickly, and with a deep sigh.

"Seonghwa-"

"Listen, Y/N, if you didn't want to come or didn't feel comfortable all you had to do was tell me. You kept me waiting for hours, I didn't think of you as someone who'd do that."

"Seonghwa I was kidnapped."

There was a small silence, a mix of worry, shock and disbelief, that had caused him to go mute.

"What the fuck."

[spencstan]

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i-

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

i-

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

NO

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

[yannasunflower]

dust to dust | chapter two

chapter one | chapter two

ao3

You don't know what makes you save Kuroo Tetsurou's life. All you know is there is no world to save anymore, but damn if you're just stupid enough to try.

Genre: hurt/comfort/romance/angst Rating: Mature, subject to change (gore, violence) Kuroo x fem!Reader Word count: 3.5k

hey everyone! here's chapter two, as promised. this fic is also cross-posted to AO3, where i'm under the same username. linked above as well! next chapter, action picks up, plot picks up, and we get more Kuroo, promise. enjoy, and as always, please reblog, like, and comment <3

Nobody ever told you how absolutely boring a zombie apocalypse could be.

Your ragtag group of survivors have scavenged what entertainment they can - books and gym equipment, even a few board games. People like Suga and Takeda keep busy with the children, teaching them to read and garden and how to survive if mommy and daddy never come back for them.

You open one lazy eye as a gaggle of them stumble after Suga, hanging on to his every word.

You’re not sure how the two men handle placing a long knife in a child’s chubby hand, fingers barely able to grip it,and showing them how to strike right at a nighstalker’s heart, fast and deep. Their giggles float through the air and the sound is almost dreamlike and if you keep your eyes closed, you can pretend this is a movie and when you open them, the credits will roll and you can go home.

Others tend to the elderly, of which there are only three in your group. You try to keep them comfortable and as far from danger as possible. But your body constantly prickles with the knowledge that they aren’t just vulnerable - they are a vulnerability. A hole in the brick wall you are attempting to build around this little community.

The healthy and fit young people patrol and take rotations on the watchtowers. Teenagers help with the lessons. Takeda had been firm about this. Once a kid turned seventeen, they were allowed to join the patrols, but until then, they stayed sequestered away.

It was almost comical, telling a tall, strong, angry Tobio that he had to mind the children. He towers over you, but he had bent to your will after a brief glaring contest. And then a week later, Shoyo had bounded into everyone’s hearts, including his, and the pair were inseparable.

Kiyoko, for her part, had taken one look at Yachi, shivering at Hinata’s side, and adopted her, sweeping her under a protective wing and keeping her there.

For people like you, who have no “bedside manner” as Kiyoko puts it, there are chores and day to day mini emergencies to keep you busy. Somehow, in the months since the world finally decided to fall apart, you have become mediator and negotiator. It’s an unlikely role; you can see your mother’s arched brow if she was still alive to see you now.

You barely have the patience for grocery shopping.

She would have laughed, elbowing your father, who would have made a valiant attempt at a straight face.

These are useless memories but you allow yourself to indulge for a moment. You have nothing better to do. Lunch is cooking, inventory has been completed, the guard rotation is set for the next two weeks. Ukai had waved you off this morning when you finally managed to corner him, complaining about your ceaseless energy and the “mad glint” in your eye. His words.

“That look means trouble for me,” he had growled, pointing an accusing finger at you. “Go to your cell and get some sleep for the love of anything you find holy.” Without another word, the man had leaned against a wall, put his feet up on his desk, and closed his eyes. A clear dismissal. You tried not to huff but you definitely stomped a little bit on the way out.

You don’t know how to tell him that staying in your cell, with your eyes closed, is inviting the living nightmares. You don’t know how to tell anyone, really, that you are just as haunted as this prison, as Daichi’s eyes.

That the only holy thing left in this world is fear and if you succumb to that, you’ll never move again.

You let a sigh tumble out of you. Forcibly, you shove your thoughts in another direction.

It had been a week since you brought home your latest stray. Kuroo had spent the first three days doing little else but sleep and eat. Daichi has taken to walking him around the Pit every day, explaining the way things work, and Suga showed him his pride and joy just yesterday. Kuroo had been suitably impressed by the garden, if the generous second and third helpings Suga thought he was sneaking to him at dinnertime were anything to go by.

The man has filled out nicely. He looks less skeleton, more human after sleep and hot food. You had peeked in on him in the grey of dawn that morning after Daichi not-so-subtly hinted that Kuroo had been asking about you.

He sleeps curled up on his side, hair falling against his cheek. In another world, you would have taken a picture.

Kiyoko tells you that the men like him, that Tanaka has stopped regarding him with all the wariness of a stray cat, and that she’s pretty sure Yachi has a crush on him.

You open your eyes into a blazing afternoon, unsurprised to see the subject of your thoughts stretching in the courtyard, the weak sunlight rippling over his bare arms. His black hair is messy as ever and you are struck all over again by how tall he is.

Tobio got a new babysitter, you think with no small amount of amusement. The gangly teenager needs someone to keep him in line and frankly, you don’t have the time and Hinata is just as likely to suggest some stupid shit for them to get into as he is.

You are still stretched out like a cat on a bench, letting the sun warm you, half-hoping it will lull you into a nap.

It’s boredom, more than anything, that makes you turn your head toward Kuroo.

“If you’d like to get some exercise, we have equipment. I’m sure Noya can show you,” you call.

Kuroo jumps and swivels to look at you, eyes wide and so, so dark. You look away. Something about him is like staring at the sun; too long, and your eyes burn.

“Didn’t see you there,” he admits easily, sauntering over to your bench. You eye his approach, noting that he really must be feeling a lot better. His movements are more fluid now, lean muscles becoming apparent on his shoulders.

Daichi has blessed every woman, and a few men, in the Pit by finding Kuroo a pair of grey joggers and a muscle tank top for everyday wear.

“I don’t do well with sitting still,” he says, leaning over you. His head casts you in shadow, blotting out the sun. “This is something I think you can understand.”

Up close, you can see that the shadows beneath his eyes are retreating gradually. His smile looks less like a grimace today.

You hum, swinging your legs over the bench and sitting up. Blood rushes from your head and you lean back against your palms. Kuroo lowers himself to sit next to you.

“Daichi forces me to limit my rotations on the guard towers and patrols,” you answer. “When we first found this place and cleaned it out, I was working overtime and made myself sick. Him and Kiyoko have been conspirators against me ever since.”

Your fingers thrum against your thigh as you say this. You feel more than see Kuroo’s eyes on them.

“They love you,” he points out, a little unnecessarily.

You snort.

“Love is expensive nowadays and everyone in the Pit is broke.”

“You love them back even more.”

You glare at him but he is just looking at you, tracing the planes of your face. A frown tugs at your lips.

“How are you feeling?”

Kuroo rolls his shoulders experimentally, stretching his arms above his head.

“Better,” he affirms. “More like myself.”

“A nosy busybody who talks like a grandpa?”

“Exactly.”

He is grinning now and you have to fight to keep yourself from returning the expression.

The bruises on his face are yellow now. You estimate it will only take a couple more weeks of regular meals for his face to fill out and his skin to look youthful again. You don’t bother asking him how long he had been alone, what happened to his family. None of that matters now. The apocalypse is a great equalizer.

“I talked to Takeda and Kiyoko this morning,” you begin, leaning your head back and closing your eyes against the sun. “They agreed to give you another week before putting you on guard rotation.”

“I would appreciate that. I want to earn my keep, however I can.”

A ghost of a smile dances across your lips.

“You’re just bored,” you tease. It’s been a long time since you felt sleepy and loose enough to tease anyone.

“You say that now, but newbies get the shittiest schedule possible,” you warn him, unsure why you’re telling him this. “Be prepared. Once you’re back to top form, we’ll discuss sending you on patrols for medicine and expanding that garden of Suga’s.”

There’s silence but it’s comfortable, easy. You let yourself enjoy it for just a few moments before standing, opening your eyes and offering Kuroo a full smile and your hand.

As he shakes it, looking only a little confused, you wonder how much longer he would have survived on his own in the city.

“Welcome to the Pit,” you say before turning on your heel and walking away.

~~~

Nightmares are as plentiful as soil on Suga’s fingers.

A sliver of moonlight is all that keeps you from sinking into the darkness, skin clammy, chest heaving. Your fingers twist into the sheets. A prayer is whispered that you didn’t scream this time. You can’t bear the thought of Kiyoko running again, feet bare, knife in hand and tears glistening on her cheeks. Her utter, pure relief haunted you for a month.

It would be so easy, you think, to never get up again.

Kiyoko would care for you. Daichi would stop by, every day, and update you. Ukai would read to you, probably, or nap in your cell, unlit cigarette dangling from his lips.

These are the thoughts that force you up, out, stumbling into your worn boots, shrugging a jacket on.

Takeda finds you in the office hours later, hunched over inventory reports in his neat handwriting, hair pulled back. He puts a pot of coffee on and hands you a steaming mug, holding a hand out for the report you’re struggling to understand.

“Winter is coming,” you sigh as you hand it over. He doesn’t ask about the shadows beneath your eyes, doesn’t comment on the fact that it’s barely six-thirty in the morning and you’ve clearly been awake for a number of hours.

A smile quirks at his lips.

“I didn’t know Tanaka managed to get the TV’s up and running,” he jokes. You wave your hand in a vague gesture, taking another sip of the liquid heaven in your hand.

“We need to get winter supplies,” you answer and that sobers him up. He nods, slowly, eyes roving the paper.

“Winter isn’t for over six months,” he reminds you. An eyebrow is raised. A teacher, waiting for an explanation. In moments like these, you see the high school teacher that you’d found barricaded in his office, babbling a stream of students’ names that Daichi had quietly whispered as your group cut them down, reading them off their uniforms.

On Takeda’s worst nights, as you guarded the door to his cell, you’d heard those same names, apologies and nonsensical gibberish streaming from his mouth as he grappled with his dreams and feverish tremors.

You stand, stretching, before stepping in front of a map of the city that Suga had snagged on one of his patrols. It’s huge, taking up an entire wall. Little markers litter the paper, different colors, and you run your finger over the pale blue ones in the northeast corner.

“There’s a limited supply of winter clothes in the city. I don’t want other groups getting to it first - we don’t need that bastard holding it over our heads when we have food and they don’t,” you remind him. Your arms cross behind your back automatically. “With the snows, we’ll need snow boots. The kids need jackets and thermals. We need to completely outfit the prison’s entire water supply system to last through snowstorms. We need hot water before then or half of us are going to be too sick, and the other half will be taking care of them. We need medicine, too.”

You tick off each item on your fingers, pausing to consider if you’ve missed something. You’re probably missing ten somethings and you struggle to see what they are. You need more coffee.

Takeda is twenty-nine, but when you turn to look at him finally, he seems sixty, glasses dangling from his fingers, nose bridge pinched between his knuckles.

He mutters something suspiciously close to a curse under his breath before opening his eyes.

“You’re right,” he admits. “We’re going to need at least seven months to prepare.”

The morning is a whirlwind. You send the youngest children, always the earliest risers, to fetch Daichi and Kiyoko, both much more bright-eyed than they have any right to be. Takeda drags a yawning Ukai into the office moments later and Tanaka slouches after them. Suga pokes his head in to give you a little wave and knowing smirk that everyone else finds nonthreatening before ushering the children to the cafeteria for their breakfast.

You’re positive you’re not imagining the pale pink coating Daichi’s cheeks.

After explaining the situation, everyone sucks in a collective breath.

Tanaka never sits and always faces a door. From his corner of the room, he glowers at the map.

“Well, fuck,” he neatly summarizes. You nod your appreciation for his conciseness.

“We need to get a hold of meat,” Ukai points out. A something you had missed.

You grab a marker and the portable whiteboard Takeda had grabbed a few weeks ago. In neat characters, you begin documenting everything thrown around the table.

“Raising livestock will be another way to keep the little ones busy.”

“We can’t ask people to shower in cold water during winter, that’s cruel.”

“Tanaka, is there any way to get the heating system up and running by then?”

“What about air conditioning? We have to get through the summer to get to winter, and heat is just as likely to kill us.”

“If other groups realize what we’re doing, we could be in trouble.”

A headache is brewing somewhere behind your temples and you bite back a groan. Kiyoko pushes a cool water bottle into your hand and you know she isn’t fooled for one second.

“I think we’re missing someone here,” Kiyoko points out mildly after what feels like an eternity of circular conversation. All eyes turn to her and she’s unruffled, fingers still wrapped around her mug.

“Kuroo could be a huge help to a lot of this,” she continues. “I’m sure he can help Tanaka and Noya with everything on their list, and we need more able-bodied men on the patrols anyway. He can help us with medicine, our food supply, all of it.”

A furtive glance in Tanaka’s direction is not encouraging. He’s glowering, eyes hooded.

“We barely know him,” Tanaka hisses. You have to privately agree.

“We barely know each other,” Ukai shoots back. “We’ve been here, what, three months?”

“He hasn’t even been on a patrol yet and you want him helping us make important decisions that affect everyone, including the kids?”

“That’s unfair, and you know it, Tanaka,” Takeda says patiently, but somehow reproachfully at the same time. “Kuroo has been in no condition to patrol. The man was emaciated.”

Takeda continues, levying everyone at the table with a stern face.

“We all trust each other now because we took the gamble and brought people in and allowed time to prove it. It was always a risk, and it will always be a risk, but we can’t let that stop us. What we’re doing here is more important than just working together to survive.”

It’s a flowery, nice sentiment, to be expected from a literature teacher, and you barely hold back a snort at Ukai’s warning look.

“None of this matters,” you cut in. “Takeda’s right. And so is Kiyoko. He could be a huge help to you specifically, Tanaka, and he’s getting better every day but we have to give him time before he’s physically ready. You saw him when we brought him in – he was skin and bones.”

Tanaka subsides into grumbling acceptance and you take it as a win.

Daichi returns with Kuroo in tow just minutes later, and if Kuroo is at all confused, he doesn’t show it. He folds himself into a chair, all long limbs and wide feet.

The problems are laid out on the table again. You watch as Kuroo absorbs it, eyes narrowed, flicking sometimes to the map on the wall.

“Frankly, I wish we were in an apartment building,” Tanaka reveals after an hour of debating the best way to acquire livestock.

You sigh, rubbing the heel of your hand into your eyes hard enough to see colors. You know it’s not Tanaka’s fault, that he’s saying out loud something you’d privately thought before. That the electrical systems in apartment buildings would be much easier for him to coax into submission.

But you’re tired. Kiyoko is rubbing the old wound on her shoulder again, Ukai’s fingers are tapping a loud rhythm on the table, and Daichi is watching you lose your mind with that same placid smile in place.

“I wish the apocalypse didn’t happen and we all didn’t have nightmares every damn night, but here we are,” you snap. “I wish we were all cozy in furnished apartments right now, too, and I wish we didn’t have to talk about these things.”

You wish the children didn’t have to hold knives, you wish Suga would stop forcing you to eat, you wish you could forget your mother’s laugh, you wish and wish and wish.

Tanaka’s mouth is open and Daichi is sighing, rubbing a hand over his face. Kuroo’s eyes are expressionless and he just looks like he’s waiting, though for what, you can’t even begin to guess.

You find that you don’t have the energy to regret the words, so you barrel on.

“The apartment buildings are stacked with nightstalkers. It would take weeks to clear even one out, and we would lose people. Guaranteed. We lost one person clearing this prison out and that —”

You’re cut off by a strange choking noise in your throat. The memory of Ennoshita is sweet, cloying, poisonous. Takeda looks pale and strained at the mention of it. His last student.

Your voice is pitched low when you manage to blink away traitorous tears. The sound of your chair scraping is loud and grating against your ears as you stand. They all watch you silently. Waiting.

“Ennoshita is buried here,” you say and the surprise on their faces is almost insulting. “So is Ayasaki’s little girl. We have a life here, one we built and fought for. The kids love it here, it’s as safe as it can get, and it’s isolated from the turf wars in the city. You know why we chose this place, you were part of the vote that decided it, Tanaka.”

Deep breath in. Out.

“I know I’m asking for a lot, but it’s necessary, and we’re all up to the task simply because we have to be.”

As far as motivational speeches go, you’re sure this is ranked pretty low. But Daichi straightens and Kuroo’s eyes are gleaming as he stares at you. Kiyoko is almost smiling and you take that into both of your hands and hold on for dear life.

“I have to protect them.”

Everyone in the room opens their mouth at pretty much the same time but Ukai beats them all to the punch with his lazy drawl.

“You’re a moron,” he sneers. “An absolute idiot if you think you’re doing any of this alone. Now run along and get some breakfast before Suga drags you there by your hair.”

~~~

It doesn’t surprise you when Kiyoko finds you later, on the roof, scribbling half-mad ideas into a plain notebook. She always knows where to find you.

“I think you should stay home tomorrow,” she says without preamble. The word home nearly sends you stumbling off the roof.

“Why? Am I dying and I don’t know it?” you ask dryly. The look she levels at you nearly makes your heart stop.

“We agreed to let Kuroo go tomorrow,” she explains, settling into the spot next to you, peering curiously at the notebook in your hand. “But you haven’t been sleeping and we can’t afford to lose you because you’re too tired to stand properly.”

You scowl. Damn the four eyes. Her and Takeda know too much for their own good.

“I’m fine,” you wave a hand dismissively. “I’ll get some rest tonight, promise.”

She let’s the matter go, which is a point for you, but you watch warily as she opens her mouth again.

“Tanaka is looking for you.”

A sigh.

“I should apologize.”

“That’s what he said.”

A laugh, short and barking, escapes you. Kiyoko smiles at the sound.

“We’re all such idiots.”

[echo-three-one]

Whatever It Takes

A sequel to "A Forgotten Memory"

Alex is once again tasked to continue his mission in pursuing the threat that had caused hundreds of missing persons turn up dazed the next day. But now he isn't alone, join him along with the elite Task Force 141 as they hunt down Nero, discover the secrets behind his plans and put an end to this memory erasing nightmare.

Chapter 1 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

"Resurgence"

"Alex"

CIA Warcom

Boracay Island, Philippines

Alex basked himself on the warm sandy beaches of the Philippines. He wasn't able to enjoy his vacation after the Nero mission, because he was sent immediately to Urzikstan and Verdansk immediately followed. And now that all of those were over, he now laid down on a beach chair and let the ocean breeze blow on his relaxed state.

Philippines was a nice country, the people were hospitable, the food was delicious and unique and the scenery was beyond amazing. Despite his metal leg, people still looked up at him the way they look at tourists and he was all of the hospitality and attention from his fellow Americans who are also on vacation to locals who were just amazed on how the leg works.

It's been a lot of months ever since Samantha forgot him, but he couldn't shake the feeling that they'll meet again, that's why no matter many women try to show interest in him, he shrugs them off politely by pretending he has a girlfriend. A simple lie that he built for himself in hopes of a miracle of meeting her again.

He always brought her letter with him, some edges of it got burnt from the time he manually detonated a C4 explosive to destroy a gas factory, It was almost torn and faded, but he couldn't leave it somewhere safe. He wanted it to be with him wherever he goes. 

'Don't you dare forget about me'

His phone rang. He quickly fished it from a small pouch he bought that the locals made and immediately answered.

"This is Alex speaking." he chimed.

"I'm sorry to bother you at this time of day Alex, but I have a feeling you'd want to jump in on this." a British accent so familiar informed him over the other side of the line, It was none other than Captain John Price or Bravo Six, a comrade he once fought with back in Urzikstan.

"I'm all ears." he said, sitting up straight and letting his metal leg sink in the sand.

"Looks like your boy Nero is back on the grid. That Sneaky bastard kidnapped the Daughter of the Head of Defense, again." Price relayed.

Alex's heart thumped faster, his breathing became quick. He wished to meet her again but not like this. Not her being in harm's way all over again.

"Shit. Count me in. But.." he hesitated. He wanted to help but remembered he disobeyed CIA orders back in Urzikstan, making him unable to provide support.

"I've talked to Laswell. She's creating a special assignment for you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means welcome to the 141, Alex." Price said as he cut off the call, followed by a message regarding his departure to their base.

~

Alex can't help but worry about Samantha's condition. They've played with her memories multiple times and he thought that it would all be over after she decided to alter everything about them. Guess the enemy didn't know and they're still after her.

The soldier leaned on to the small circular glass pane as he looked at the clouds pass by. His hands were fidgeting each other while his non-metal foot bounced up and down at a fast rate. His seatmate, who happens to be a teenager, noticed his distracting leg movement but ignored it as rock music blasted from his ears. He was a completely different Alex right now and he believed that he'll be back to normal as soon as he sees Samantha safe and within his grasp.

When you have a heavy metal stick as a leg, customs is going to be the most annoying place in the world. Everyone looked at Alex as soon as he passes the metal detector and everyone else's eyes were on him. Of course with a few more safety checks and a whole lot of explaining, Alex was good to go. 

"So, you're the one they call Alex" the heavily British accented driver mused, breaking the silence of their ride to the 141 base. He was looking at him via the rearview mirror, chewing on what Alex hoped to be gum.

"Yep. That's me." he replied, turning to the view of the British streets which confused him a lot as it was the opposite of American or even Global streets.

"Heard they thought you were dead back there. In Georgia." he added. He was quite the chatterbox but CIA Agents are all about the information.

"Yeah. Tried to manually detonate the C4. After that… I just ran for my life." Alex answered, his head was realizing why he did it. What pushed him to think that he could make it out alive. Was it because it's for the greater good? The idea of freeing Farah's country from the harm of the gas? The idea of a chance to meet Samantha all over again? Or something he couldn't explain.

"Well, we're glad to have you back, Alex. But it's a shame it's no longer in the CIA." the driver waved as Alex opened the door and unloaded his stuff.

"As long as it's still about saving the world." he replied, making the driver smile. 

"That's what we do, right?" he agreed as he entered in his car leaving Alex in front a quiet gray building, the Task Force 141 Base, his new home.

Alex pushed the heavy doors open revealing a large hall, multiple round sofas were embedded to the ground and a huge staircase that split left and right greeted him. Multiple heads turned as he opened the said door and slowly walked his way to the nearest person who happened to be panting from exhaustion by the sofa. His metal leg clanked on his every step as the soldiers begin to recognize him. They smiled as soon as Alex's eyes met theirs and some even waved, Alex met them from several missions from the past, some were from the Demon Dogs and his previous designations, Delta Force.

"Where's the briefing room in this huge building?" he asked the soldier in a black t shirt drenched in sweat as he spun his towel trying to keep up with his breathing. He didn't speak but he nodded in acknowledgement and pointed to the hallway on the left. Alex left him a thanks and he walked his way to the direction where he pointed.

Just a few steps after the beginning of the hallway, the people from the main hall cheered and laughed, this made Alex turn around and he saw a young blonde man with spiky hair dash across him, he looked like he's on his way to your destination as well.

"Excuse me! Sir!" he yelled and Alex immediately halted. The young man panted in front of him and took a few seconds to breathe before he countinued his words.

"I'm Gary Sanderson, and I was supposed to guide you to the briefing room. You must be Alex." he reached out a hand and Alex shook it, quietly making your way to the room.

The huge door slid open and they found themselves in a dimly lit room, a huge screen loomed just by the wall and chairs were placed around a long circular table. Alex could spot a few familiar faces, faces he once saw and fought alongside with in Verdansk. There was the balaclava boy, Ghost, the Mohawk Man, Soap, their Captain, John Price and a few big heads from the United States. There were also new faces like Gary, who was now discussing something with another new soldier, a female soldier who sat by Price and a few new more who were already sitting on the chairs. There's also someone missing, Kyle Garrick, he pondered where he was.

The former CIA quickly saw Gary rush to Price's seat and whispered something causing him to lean on his chair, stand up and walk to his side. 

"Glad to see you back in the fight, Alex." he muttered, patting Alex's shoulder.

"I won't skip out on this mission, this one's close to home." he replied, patting his back in return.

"Yeah, heard this was your last mission before the Russian Gas." 

"Yeah. It's a loose end on my side." Alex nodded, crossing his arms.

"Good thing Shepherd had some sense in him. Not unlike your CIA heads, huh?" 

Alex nodded. He remembered he did an illegal thing against the CIA, and that was siding with Farah's forces, who were reclassified as global terror groups at that time. He silently thanked he could still step back in the fight along with the good guys even after that event.

"Yeah. I might have to thank him soon enough." Alex murmured and Price guided him to the briefing which was about to start in a few minutes.

~

"Before we start our mission briefing, I'd like to welcome each and everyone of you to the 141. A group of the most elite warriors from around the world tasked to eliminate terrorist threats lurking in the shadows. One of which, goes by the name Nero…" General Shepherd's voice was deep and serious, while the screen showed a photo of the guy they're after. His face looked punchable, as manifested by the way Alex clenched his fists while he stared at his soulless eyes.

"… whose goal is still unknown. He poses a threat as he has been out in American soil, which we believe is the one behind the multiple missing and reappearing person cases across the country." he continued, eyeing Alex. He knew a little bit about the case, maybe because he read his report.

"Since he poses no evidence of terrorist activity as of now, we are assigned to rescue and locate the daughter of Richard Coleman, America's Head of National Defense. We don't know why she was kidnapped but we believed it is or ransom or threatening purposes." The general explained, pacing back and forth, his shadow covered the screen.

Alex wanted to say something. Something about the details surrounding the case. It was written on his report. But then again, maybe the general already knew about the alteration, and since Samantha doesn't remember any IP Address, it was no longer worth noting.

Samantha's face was projected on the screen. Alex's heart began to beat faster, she looked different now, a little chubbier, longer hair and her smile felt happier. It was heartbreaking that she got caught in the crossfire again. After all those efforts of making her life normal.

'If our paths would cross again, I hope you'll remember me the way I remembered you before I take this operation, A good memory that's supposed to last forever. '

'Don't you dare forget about me.'

Her words echoed in his mind, using the same voice she had when they were together. 

"I will save you again if I had to.." he promised to her mentally, as he tightened the clench he was already doing.

"Our intel reports that twelve hours ago, local informants spotted an unknown flying vehicle just by the Georgian Border, local authorities confirmed that this wasn't one of their aircraft and we believe it could be the getaway vehicle of Samantha Coleman and her captors… We are still looking on to this so for the meantime I want each and one of you to be fully alert and ready for deployment."

Everyone else fell silent. It meant they agreed at what the high ranking official said. A few more words were exchanged such as new additions to the team, aside from Alex. He didn't seem to focus much on the second part of the brief as his mind worried a lot about Samantha. If his instincts were right, she's probably sedated once again, taking a trip down her own memory lane.

Chapter 2 : F.N.G.

[itsmypeach13]

[Read only if you are okay with female &female relationships. Warning because of strong language, fighting scenes. Rating is +18]

[Hello my ravens! ❤️It's been an eternity but please welcome my second chapter of my Soma POV fanfic, things will get messy and entangled full of angst and more angst. I hope you'll like it, I spiced things up with flirty Valka and women fighting🤭 Let me know what you think in the comments any opinion/thought is welcome🥺❤️]

TALES OF THE BEAR-HEART: SOMA

CHAPTER II.

Battling Hearts

The soft crackling sound of fireflames embracing hardwood woke me up tenderly. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Revna sitting by the fire sharpening her dagger, preparing for the battle ahead of us. Her raven-black long hair was braided at the sides and neatly It must have been around dawn, but it was still pitch-black outside. Busy voices surrounded us, swords clinked, horses were running up and down impatiently, some people shouted over to the other with instructions. Valka's magical sleep potion put me so well to sleep, that I was surprised at myself how late I could join onboard the ship towards the brewing sea of bloodshed. I had to pull myself together and that only worked with some ice-cold river water and some excercise.

'Good morning Revna'-I greeted my warrior as I swiftly sat up and put on my stone-hard armor.

'To you as well.'-she wiked at me playfully and lifted up the pair of the iconic hammers fixating them on her sides. ' Now you slept well for sure, how is that you sleep the soundest when battle is so near?-she laughed a little and took a sip of water from the table.

'Valka's hand in that.-I raised my brows slightly. 'Sorry, I didn't plan to start like this Revna. I have to go now and freshen up. Shall we meet at the entrance of the longhouse?'

'You're such a womanizer you know that right?'-she held up her tusk. ' Valka is a fine woman, I am happy for you now. I will meet you there nevertheless.'

'Ha!..You're absolutely misunderstanding, but I have to rush now.'- After this conversation, the fine shilouette of Valka's back flashed through my mind from last night. I quickly stepped into reality once I was out of my hut. The Raven warriors painted their faces with red and white strokes, most of them were saddling the horses.

I hurried to the shores of the river nearby, finally allowing my flaming skin to meet with the freezing waves of water. I gathered some liquid in my palms so that I could splash it onto my face over and over again. It felt like a hit on my cheeks that put me into the right battling spirits, and imagining Randvi's head on the enemy's helped a lot also.

I did some stretching and sprinting in the shores, while sloppy waves embraced the land. I was sharpening my axe and asked for Thor's strength and blessing, when I heard cat-like footsteps from behind approaching me.

'Your blade is already sharp enough, Bear-heart'-said Valka smirking, while she walked up to me.

'I could cut down a village with it yes. I guess it's just my ritual before I actually do it.'

'I bought you some food, here, some died figs with bread and a slice of boar meat from last night.'- she kindly handed over the plate.

'Thank you Valka, the gods bless your kind spirit. This will help me to do my best today. For Ravensthorpe..and Eivor.' While I started eating quickly, we sat by the shore and Valka carried on.'

'Soma, you have to remember, whatever happens today, you can count on me, you know where to find me. I saw into your soul last night and found loneliness there. But you are not so alone.' -she stroked my arm then stood up and disappeared in the crowd of warriors.

I was startled a bit, the last piece of bread almost choked me. Was that a friendly invite to her hut? I mean, private hut? I guess she needs cleaning there if you know what I mean. Who would have thought.

***

When I rode to the longhouse, a massive crowd of warriors have gathered in front of the building. The golden locks of Eivor showed up with that deadly, stern smirk on her face. She was riding a snow-white mare with her armor glistening in the awakening morning sunrays. A huge hunnish bow spread on her broad back and two axes were fixated on her sides, one can never be so sure with just one, right? Randvi followed her closely, rumour has it that she is going in battle after long years spent in the map room. I was curious how she would perform outside these walls. Revna joined me swiftly and we quickly caught up with Eivor and other leaders riding in the front.

As if she sensed my closeness, the wolf-kissed greeted me with a wide smile.

'Morning Soma, I hope you are ready to spill some blood today with me.'

How could she know I was ready to do anything with her, my eyes wandered on those rosy lips talking to me. She looked stunning with freshly dried warpaint framing her ocean eyes.

'I will smash skulls today, as my father taught me'I assured her. ' You don't want to make it a contest, I am the champion in this.'

'We'll see, I will beat your ass.' Eivor uttering those words brought me to the depts of my wildest fantasies for a moment. Holy mother of.. A shiver went through my spine as I actually pictured this. 'Okay, whoever wins this beheading game will pay for the best ale in land for a week.'

'That's a deal, officially.'-Eivor agreed playfully.

As we left Ravensthorpe Randvi joined us to briefly go through our plans , and of course to keep an eye on her drengr.

'Hi Soma..I hope you haven't lacked the care and wealth of Ravensthorpe.'

'Thanks Randvi, I had everything I needed' except for Eivor in my bed last night, but I guess that's the VIP package. It’s good I didn’t say this out loud.

'Good. Now our plans are the following. Eivor and you will hide in the thick bushes of the main road on both sides with our archers. When Birna's army is well inside the trap, Eivor will sign you with her horn, then both of your teams will fire and wipe out as many as you can. I will wait for Eivor's horn and join with a group on horsebacks to push them back towards the hills where their camp is. We'll follow them and burn it down to force them out of mainland.

Cheolbert's army will be only used if necessary. They are stationed on the right side of the forest.'

'Smart plan Randvi, I am sure we can protect our people, which is the most important aim, I feel honoured to be here today and lead this army' -Eivor answered then we positioned our forces in the thick undergrowth of the main road. Some archers even hid high on the old oak trees to have a nice and deadly view on the road. Our eyes met with Eivor and I was once again stunned by those piercing blue eyes, radiating godlike power and trust in me. She made me weak with one stern look, this feeling was brand new for me..Soma trembling like a leaf in the autumn breeze? My eyes wandered lower, on Eivor’s bulging arms holding those big, heavy axes.

Revna positioned herself right beside me like a protective bastian ready to spill blood, her hands firmly gripping the two hammers.

’They will eat my hammer for breakfast.’-she whispered to me, keeping her voice down.

A medium group of soldiers were nearing our forces, all of them on horseback.

They were led by a young woman with blood red hair, riding on a pitch-black horse. Just before Eivor could use her horn to give the sign for us to attack them, the enemy started throwing flaming throving balls into the thick and completely dry undergrowth that caught on fire in no time. They knew exactly where we were hiding, forcing us to be distracted for a second and be stunned by their unexpected moves. Revna quickly brought me back to reality with her loud roar she jumped out of the bushes and ranted at our enemy. As if she were a deadly panther, she pulled a man down from his straddle , threw him on the ground finally smashing his face on both sides with her double hammers. What left off that head was forming an unrecognizable mixture of broken bones and flesh.

I joined her swiftly and shouted at all of my men:'Don't just stare, cut all of the bastards down and burn their flesh!' The archers could perform a swift attack from above before the flames got to the upper branches, then joined us from behind our shield wall Eivor was forming with the Ravens.

I quickly got on my horse and joined at the side of Revna, who was sandwiched between two twin shieldmaidens fighting with swords. Just before the bigger one could plunge her longsword into Revna's spine, I trapped her with my axe, agressively pulled her body to mine from behind holding her still for a moment shouting in her face: 'I will burn your whole village for this.' -then I slit her throat and pushed the body down to the dust. My face became sprayed with fresh blood, and I could see Revna kept herself busy, the other one joined her sister in death.

-Thanks Soma, I am glad you have my back, literally -Revna shouted at me with ave.

-I am never late, you know me.-I winked at her assuringly. -someone betrayed us Revna..we have to find that son of a bitch. -I shouted back while I saw a huge man charging at me with a poisoned axe.

-You will die bitch-his deep growl ecoed in my ears as I prepared for defense. I thought I would end him with my wit instead of my valuable strength, I slipped between his legs and cut right into his balls leaving him a suffering mess falling on his knees, and finally collapsing in the bloody pond forming underneath.

-Not today, bastard.-I stated. While we fought our way a little further with Revna I quickly looked behind my back to see how Eivor was holding up. Then I saw the blood-haired war-chief woman charging on her horse at full speed towards the wolf-kissed, she wanted to end Eivor. Her plan was to cut the head of the snake, I saw her green eyes burning with ambition, fury and wrath, she jumped off of her horse slamming Eivor to the ground. Unfortunately, the charging horse killed several men around Eivor failing to hold the shield wall.

I felt my heart beating in my throat , as both Eivor and that killer bitch disappeared from my sight behind the crowd of clashing soldiers.

-Revna, you have to hold this mess, I will be back!-I gave my clear orders to my right hand , and with that I ran into Eivor’s direction as if there was no tomorrow. Many men tried to stop me on my way, but I cut them all, roaring like a beast, both of my arms were drenched in blood. The inner bear has awoken. I saw Randvi charging on her horse towards the same spot, my worry mirrored in her desperate eyes. She fought like an amazon, a tiger let out of her cage , she was never really tamed behind that map table after all. I must admit she fought fiercely. Her long copper braid was dancing around in circles as she slain anyone who got near her. Unexpectedly, her horse got an arrow in the front leg, causing Randvi to fell foward harshly, she was flying several meters from the saddle. The killer-witch had supporter archers at the top of a nearby rock, they were backing their leader and her evil plans.

I didn't have time to care for Randvi, I slammed into the shield wall to see what was happening with Eivor behind it.

The blood-witch was strangling Eivor with her strong arm, Eivor had deep cuts on her own arms and her side. Fuck.. she really didn't see it coming.. oh that fucking bitch ! Eivor wanted to kick her in the face but her legs were entangled in strong hold by that serpent. She fought differently, wrestled her enemy, held the body in position to slowly end it with deadly cuts. I couldn't let her finish her work..my heart would break in two for an eternity..

I grabbed her hair pulling her upwards, while I watched her cry out from the pain.

-Hey, you blood whore, don't you dare to move or I will cut your pretty head off. Eivor broke free swiftly, but instinctively put her right hand on her ribs. I saw a considerable blood stain growing there, which felt like a punch in my stomach. It seemed I actually got one, as the redhead tried to break away. Just before I could end her, I felt a powerful but blunt hit on my back, an arrow's burning head fought it's way into my flesh. I instantly fell on my knees then I started to crawl on the ground ghasping the dust.

Eivor didn't give a fuck about her serious wound on her side she ran towards that sly whore to avenge this mess. Randvi arrived just in time her huge smash with her shield put the escaping rat onto the ground. The blood-witch was cornered and there was no way out. My sight became blurry and I wanted to vomit from the pain that radiated into my chest and my back.

'Tie this one up quickly, we'll inerrogate her at Ravensthorpe. Randvi instructed two soldiers. -Oh God..Eivor you're bleeding-she mumbled with care as she stepped to the wolf-kissed, her eyes wandered on the huge blood stain. Randvi's bottom lip was craked and bleeding, probably from a huge stroke.

'I am fine Randvi, bring our forces left to safety, we have to retreat, now' Eivor's raspy voice echoed, turning to Randvi. 'I can only thank my life to Soma' Eivor hurried to me while Randvi called a retreat to Ravensthorpe, we could defend the way from the woods but it was clearly a trap. Somebody gave valuable information to the enemy, Birna and Ivarr could attack any moment.Both sides lost countless men, the woods was in flames around us.

'My poor bird..' Eivor whispered calmly, holding me in her arms in a second sitting on her knees on the ground. She turned my body really slowly to spare me from the additional pain, I could have screamed out loud in my despair, but I couldn't show the slightest sign of weakness while she was around me.

'I m have to get this out now' she said apologetically, furrowing her brows.

I couldn't speak as I felt my power leaving me, I was close to fainting, so I just nodded and let myself concentrate on those strong arms being folded around me. This was the closest Eivor ever got to me.. my heart was burning and beating fast both from the trauma I endured and the excitement that was ruling over me inside.

'I will be as quick and gentle as possible'Eivor promised with a light smile.

I held onto her arm and mumbled a few words:'Just do it, please..' I closed my eyes knowing what will come.

Eivor clearly had pratice in this, as she firmly held onto the arrow, turned it slightly in my flesh, then pulled it out with a powerful move.

It felt as if a burning blade was turned inside me ripping out my flesh. The pain was undescribable with words, I cried out, my eyes became blurry with tears.

'Fucking GOD' I shouted.

'The worst is over Soma, I promise. I can thank my life to you, so I am in your debt, I will help you through this and bring you to Valka.' Eivor lifted me up, placed one of my arms around her neck and holding my weight with her arms below my knees. ' 'I got you now -she gently stroked my arm and carried me to her horse, we headed back to Ravensthorpe with our forces left , following Randvi's soldiers.

As we rode along those old oak trees I could feel the sweet scent of Eivor's skin around her collarbone as I laid my head on her broad chest. Small sweatdrops were glistening on her perfect face while her ice-blue eyes stayed focused on the road, I could watch this living statue of perfection all day.

Spring breeze played on my cheeks while I closed my eyes to just feel the bumps and turns of the road.

I couldn't get a peaceful monent as my thoughts caused me an inner turmoil. Where the hell was Revna? Did she join to Randvi and her forces? How am I supposed to fight like this? The hardest part of this battle is still ahead of us..I came here to defend Ravensthorpe, not to behave like a whining child. And who was that blood-haired shieldmaiden?

***