#once again christina…one chance

[extasiswings]

The entire Habanera section of CPom’s Carmen…it’s what Bizet would have wanted.

[thesoftestpunk]

Will you be mine?

Summary: your crush is starting to become something more

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word count: 6.3k

A/N: This took for-fucking-ever, I'm sorry. I had a 5 month writers block

Warnings: Minors DNI!! If I find out you read this, I'm calling your mom. Lots of making out, dumb sex jokes, first time, smut, oral, piv sex, virgin!Eddie idk if I missed something lemme know. Also reader can honestly be read as plus size. I try to be inclusive.

Pt.1

When Eddie truly saw you for the first time, you were actually giving Dustin directions to the theater department, already late to swim practice, but you nodded along to his excited ramblings about joining Hellfire. You wished all three freshmen good luck and when you passed by Eddie, you smiled. Not even a half-assed, polite smile, but a full one. It’s so out of the ordinary for him that he just gawkes at you with wide eyes until your smile falters a fraction, and you move on. 

It’s been two years since you’ve moved into town, so he’s seen you around school before, but it’s the closest your worlds came to colliding, and in response to that, you smiled. Most people turned their noses up at the sight of him but the harder he thought about it, you never did. Not in two whole years. Even when his hair went through a terrible awkward phase. 

It set his curiosity in motion, unintentionally looking for you any chance he got. It was easiest in class, stuck in the back by choice, but that meant no one was looking at him looking at you. You sat with your friends any chance you got, devoted yourself to them, but anytime they made a snide comment, he saw you withdraw just the slightest bit, eyes drifting and frown deepening. Eddie never liked it when you frowned. In fact, anytime he could tell you were having a bad day, eyes burning with tears, he’d act like a fool in class. At first, you remained nonchalant, eyes drifting like they did with your friends, but the first time he got you to laugh, his heart felt too big for his chest. 

“Again?” Gareth teased when he caught Eddie drooling over you instead of the worksheet in front of him that only displayed the addition of his crooked name and nothing else. 

“I think I like her, man.” Eddie tries to keep his voice low. If anyone caught wind that he liked someone so high on the social ladder, he’d be eaten alive. The teasing over his hobbies he could take, but getting his heart caught on his sleeve and then stomped on made him nervous. 

“You should just ask her out.” Gareth says it so nonchalantly that Eddie can’t help but scoff.

“She’s friends with Christina Whitlock, wannabe cheerleader. She’s worse than Carver and his goons. I’m not going to put myself on the chopping block willingly.” 

“It’s either you ask her out or suffer in silence.” 

Eddie looks at you sitting in the front of the classroom, smiling at something you’ve been told, and his heart sinks a little. 

Then everything shifted after you sat next to him in English that day your friends seemed to be making fun of him about something. At first he thought you did it because you felt guilty, but when you seemed genuinely curious about his tattoos, he let his guard down. Which seemed to backfire pretty quickly. He had to endure hearing you say you didn’t like him, not once, but twice.

When he had lost all hope, you invited him to the pool. He almost didn't go, fully expecting you to turn him down politely, explaining that you were only being nice out of obligation, but none of that happened. When you had expressed your shared feelings for Eddie, he felt unadulterated joy. That was until he kissed you, and it seeped out of his skin, unable to be contained any further. Now, he got to walk hand in hand with you down the halls of the school, giving each other knowing looks when Tina stared the two of you down like she couldn’t believe you would have the audacity to hold hands. 

You always initiated the pda, and he shook off the nerves just to feel the soft skin of your palm against his. He kissed you in private, not wanting any chance of a moment ruined. But you can’t seem to get any privacy for anything more than making out. You’ve come close to the idea of more but that’s all it seems to be. An idea. It’s a lot of getting interrupted in your bed, Eddie’s hand just having slid underneath your underwear and one of you freezing at the sound of the front door. You always proceed to hiss out ‘shit. Someone’s home,’ before the two of you scramble to get decent and when, nine times out of ten, your mother checks on you, you pretend to be studying. 

Despite his -albeit joking- begging, you refuse the idea to do it in his van.

“I’m a bit of a romantic,” you argue. “So I don’t want our first time to be in the back of your smelly van.”

“Okay, it won’t be there.” He promises, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “It’ll be up front.”

You shove him off of you as he laughs maniacally, now beside you on your bed. Taking your childhood stuffed rabbit, you whack him in the shoulder playfully, and he catches it quickly. 

“How dare you use miss hoppity as a weapon!” He teases further. 

“Oh, you’re in for it now, Munson.” 

He screams dramatically when you roll over on him and attack his neck in rapid kisses, making him uncontrollably giggle. He had warned you he was ticklish in some parts, and you quickly learned where for your own personal enjoyment. 

“Uncle! Uncle!” He gasps out between bouts of laughter, even though he loved the feeling of your plush lips against his neck. His beautiful neck that left your mouth watering and legs clenching at the sheer thickness of it. Just more space to place kisses. There’s a moment when he’s calming and you’ve placed both hands on his stomach, neither worrying about your mother coming to check up on the commotion you just caused. You feel him harden underneath you, just like every time you get pulled onto his lap. He can’t help it. The way your legs spread just for him, and how your shoulders relax with ease gets him going. 

“What?” You whisper when he just continues to stare like you’ve told him he’s won the lottery. 

“I haven’t taken you on a proper date, have I?” As he asks, his smile turns downward at the sudden realization. 

“No, but I don’t mind.” You trace a finger from the back of his jaw to his chin and give a little pinch. “I like this time together. Just us.”

“Well, I’d be a terrible–” the words get caught in his throat as he almost says the big word. Boyfriend. Neither of you had broached the subject, and maybe that’s why he’s brought up the fact that he hasn’t taken you out. Whatever this relationship was, he was afraid he was going about everything in the wrong way. He should have taken you out before even kissing you, if any romantic driven book he’s read has told him. “-guy if I didn’t.”

“Okay,” you ignore his fumble, bumping your nose into his. “Take me out then.” You flatten your chest to him to feel the rumble of his victorious laughter, but then you remember where you are, and your bedroom door is open fully. “We need to get up before the guard does her rounds.”

You untangle yourself from him, giggling as he has to adjust himself if your mom actually does make an appearance. 

“This Friday, sweetheart. I’m picking you up at seven o’clock, sharp.”

“I look forward to it.”

***

Eddie says he would still rather not be seen at any school event, but he shows up to your swim practice, fulfilling his promise of being in the closest spot on the bleachers as he’s allowed. He drives you home from every practice, bragging about you to you. It’s selfishly endearing listening to the way he talks about how proud he is of you for how talented you are. The rest of the girls on the team didn’t understand his insistence on catching at least the last ten minutes. Usually he would be meeting with hellfire, but he would try and make it just to cheer you on, even if he was explicitly told not to by your coach. 

“He was here again today.” you hear Christina whisper to one of the girls. “I’m starting to think it’s not just for Y/N.”

“What do you mean?” She asks innocently.

“I mean… it’s kinda pervy, right?” 

“Ugh, totally.” Another agrees. 

A chill runs down your spine at the idea of that rumor spreading. Something in you snaps as you slam your locker door shut before turning to see their shocked faces. 

“Eddie is a gentleman,” you glare at Tina. “I don’t care that you all think I’m a freak too, now that I’m dating him, but you need to remember I’m co-captain. Keep his name out of your mouth, and if I hear any sort of disrespect about him, you’re doing drills until you puke.” 

“You’re only co-captain because you’re the coach's niece.” Christina crosses her arms defensively. 

“The only reason I’m not captain is because of nepotism. He didn’t want you whining all the time, but I work my ass off harder than anyone in this room. You could stand to be a little more humble, Tina, considering how slow you were today.” Your hands shake as everyone looks back and forth between you and Christina like they’re at a tennis match, just waiting for a full on cat fight to break out. “So, do you understand me?”

The locker room is silent as you stare down Christina, challenging her to retort back, but she actually looks flustered and nods. It has the others nodding along in a chorus of agreement. There’s no more chit chat as the girls rush to finish getting dressed. You’re one of the first few to leave, leftover anger and adrenaline making you stomp on your way out. That is until you see Eddie and feel your whole body relax. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says his usual greeting. 

Sudden tears burn your eyes as you rush forward to tackle him in a hug, causing him to stumble backwards a couple of steps. He chuckles, arm coming around your middle as he assumes you’re just that excited to see him. A sniffle gives you away immediately. 

“Hey,” he says softly, pulling away to look at you. His eyebrows draw together in concern as he looks you over, hands on either side of your face to inspect closely. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, yes, I just-“ you wipe your nose with your sleeve, feeling yourself get small. It’s the first time he’s seen you cry, and you don’t want to make him worry about why. “It’s stupid. Can you just take me home?”

“You can tell me.” His thumb moves back and forth over your cheek. 

“Eds,” you let out a wet laugh. “I’m fine.” To prove this, you give him a kiss. “Let’s just get out of here.”

“Alright,” he eyes you warily, and even the door to the locker room, but wraps an arm around your shoulder to walk out with you. 

You’re sour for the rest of the week, not even indulging in teasing Tina about your relationship publicly. Eddie knows you’re in a mood, but he has no idea why. He tries everything he can think of; jokes, the little kisses on your collar bones that make you smile, and more jokes, but you just seem lost in your own world. For a moment, he worries you’re tired of him already and the pressure of being seen with him has become too overwhelming, and for his own sanity, he does some digging. 

It takes bribing four different people. One offer to deal at a party sends him to  Andrew Rickman,  who gets some weed for a huge discount, to send Eddie to his girlfriend, Jessica Armstrong who finally sends him to Janice Freedman and a promise to pass along her phone number to Gareth, and he’s sure he’s figured it out. 

On Friday’s you swim on your own. Eddie knows to leave you be for an hour before entering the pool house to catch you just as you’re towel drying your hair. He doesn’t like wandering the halls to risk getting yelled at, so he waits in his van, blasting music while smoking a joint. 

“Have a good swim?” His arms wrap around your waist from behind, the smell of chlorine invading his nose. 

“Mmhm,” you hum, melting into his hold. You had pushed yourself to relieve the frustration because you didn’t want to ruin Eddie’s date plan. 

“Just ‘mmhm?’” He copied your tone, slowly placing kisses along your shoulder, and up toward your neck. 

“You know you’re not supposed to be in here.” You remind him, voice stern, but he knows there isn’t any anger behind it. 

“Got away with it last time didn’t I?” He spins you around by your hips, making you wonder what’s suddenly gotten him in this mood. Eddie captures your lips, pulling your body flush against his, and tips your head back to deepen the kiss. It leaves you breathless immediately with how desperate it feels. 

“Eddie,” you sigh when he breaks it to move to your neck once more. His ring covered hand slides up your side, cupping your breast and giving a squeeze. It’s a shame he didn’t show up sooner or he could’ve done this when you were wearing nothing but a towel. “Seriously? Here?” 

“No,” he snorts, trying to behave. “I’m a gentleman.” 

“Not with that poking me in the thigh.” 

Before he gets the chance to laugh, someone is clearing their throat, making the two of you jump apart. Tina looks to the side, looking more than embarrassed by the obvious bulge in Eddie’s pants, and your kiss stained lips. 

“T-Tina,” you step in front of Eddie for his sake. “What, uh, what are you doing here?” 

“I signed up for extra practice time.” For the first time, Tina seems small, almost afraid to admit she needed the extra time in the water. “Guys aren’t allowed in the girls locker room, Munson.” 

“I’ll wait outside.” Stiffly, he leans forward to give you a quick kiss on the cheek from behind before rushing out. 

“Sorry,” you apologize before she can berate you for it. “I thought we were alone.”

And strange enough, she doesn’t. 

“I used to sign up for the latest slot so Declan and I could be alone when we first started dating.” She opens up her locker in search of her suit. “Just don’t go making a habit of it. Coach nearly tore my head off. Can’t imagine what he’d do to his niece.” 

“Right,” you laugh sheepishly, but catch a glimpse of the Tina you became friends with two years ago. “Thanks.” 

“Don’t thank me yet.” She hardens once again. “You’re doing drills for getting caught.”

You sigh. Tough Tina was back. 

“Aye aye captain.” 

After you rush out, tail between your legs, you smack Eddie in the shoulder with the sleeve of your hoodie. He flinched back like it hurt, but the smile completely gave him away. 

“You dingus!” You try to keep your voice down, but the shrill tone still echoes around the building. 

“Ow!” He laughs more than he does whine. “I can’t appreciate you for sticking up for me?”

“What?” You stop winding up for another smack. 

“I heard what you did for me.” He wraps an arm around your back, pulling you close so he has to speak quietly. “No one’s ever stuck for me like that before.” 

“Well, I- I was just being honest…” your cheeks burn at the way he looks down at you, one corner of his lips tugging up. 

“Mm, well, I find your honesty extremely hot.” 

“We can not get caught by Tina again.” As much as you wanted to reciprocate his appreciation, you weren’t looking forward to extra punishment for making her endure another shared kiss between you and eddie. “You need to take me home so I can get ready for our date.”

“What’re you gonna wear?” 

“Only if you tell me where we’re going but it’s—“

“A surprise,” he finishes for you.

***

Eddie shows up at your door on time for once. He isn’t allowed to pick you up for school, or else you’d be chronically late for first period. He had told you to dress casual, but you can’t help but grab your short tan pleated skirt to match your white shirt with extended shoulders and a jean fabric vest. (A jest if you will). To top it all off, you wear your favorite beat up sneakers and ankle socks scrunched down. When you hear the knock, your heart skips a beat and you take down the hall, shouting at your parents that you’ll get the door. Your dad beats you to it on purpose, but he’s already met Eddie. They were uncertain at first, but Eddie was polite and followed your house rules. To an extent. It was all a front, and you knew it killed him just a little, but he also knew if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to date you. 

He takes you to a local restaurant, nothing fancy, but also not cheap. you love it either way. It never really mattered what the two of you did together, as long as you were doing it together. He’s a bit quiet as you eat, eyes scanning the room, but after you get him to loosen up, he acts like he owns the place. He leans back in his seat, arm thrown over the back as he heavily flirts with you, not even wondering if the other patrons are staring or not.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles while fumbling with the crumbled bills when he pays. You know he doesn’t have a traditional job, selling drugs to help his uncle with expenses, and it makes you wonder how much extra he had to sell just to take you here. There’s a pause as he calculates if there’s enough for a tip before slapping the money down and smiling at you to wave off your worry. 

“Eddie?” You gently take his hand after he’s pulled out of the parking lot. “Did you- you know you didn’t have to take me somewhere that nice, right? I would’ve been fine if you made me, like, chef boyardee at your trailer.”

“I gotta make my girl feel special sometimes, right?” He flashes you that confident smile and brings your hand up to place a kiss on your knuckles. There’s a tug in your stomach when he calls you ‘my girl’ and you bite your bottom lip to stave off your sheepish grin. “Plus, the night’s not over yet. I got one more thing for you.”

You aren’t sure what to expect, but when he pulls up in front of his trailer, you feel a bit of a relief. Not because you don’t like being out in public with Eddie, you do, but you constantly worry about someone making a rude comment his way and upsetting him. In the time you’ve known him, though, the insults seem to roll off his back pretty easily, and you’re unsure how he does it. Every insult repeats in your mind for hours after. 

“Give me five minutes.” Eddie leans over to give you a quick kiss on the lips. 

“What, gotta hide all your cum socks before I go in?”

“I’ve got some class.” Eddie’s breath tickles your lips as he doesn’t lean back just yet. “I washed them yesterday.” 

As he gets out of the van, you laugh to yourself, even when he’s unlocking the door and disappearing inside. You stay inside the vehicle, only unbuckling your seatbelt and glance outside the window. The openness of the area combined with how dark it is leaves you a little unsettled. It’s eerily quiet, and you can tell even with the windows rolled up. A lone cricket and distant barking seems to be the only noise going on around. Turning by your torso, you see there isn’t much to the back of his van, bits of carpet pulling up here and there along the seams, a guitar case covered in stickers similar to what’s on his jackets, and ashtrays with cigarette butts and half smoked joints. There’s a rug thrown in the middle, probably to cover a stain or his attempt to class things up. A sharp knock startled you out of observing the burnt orange and red curves and sharp corners. 

“You okay there?” Eddie teases after opening the passenger door for you. 

“It’s scary as shit out here.” You take his outstretched hand and hop out of the van. “It’s way too quiet.”

“Let me lead you to safety, princess.”

Inside, the trailer is lit by the dim lamp in the corner of the living area, but mostly by the scattered candles along random surfaces leading toward his bedroom. The low lighting flickers off the reflection in the mugs lined along the shelves, and shadows dancing along the walls. Eddie leads you down the short hallway before you can even comment on his romantic decor. You’ve gotten a peek of his bedroom in past visits, but the two of you usually would hang out on the couch, so you know he’s tidied it up for you. There’s still plenty of clutter along his dresser and desk, but his floor is clean from any clothes or trash strewn about. 

He stops you at the end of his bed, your calves brushing against the sheets hanging over the side. Slowly, he brings up your hand to place a kiss on the back of your palm, causing you to shudder. A smile grows on his face and you can see it despite your hand being in the way. He lets go to drag the vest off of your shoulders and when it registers in your mind that he wants it off, you move with him, his face getting close to yours when he has to help your fumbling hands through the holes. You’ve been kissed by him a dozen times but when he dips his chin up to connect your lips, your skin burns in a want you’ve never felt before, as if he’s kissing you for the first time. You both move in sync, dipping down onto the bed, and not breaking contact until he’s hovering over you, delight making his features glow, but you can see the small bit of insecurity in his eyes while he seems to gather up his nerves. 

“Will you be mine?” It’s quiet, intimate, barely above a whisper, but leaves his voice graveling deep enough to send a jolt up your spine. “My girl? Each second with you…” he trails off, shaking his head as his lips split into a grin. “It’s a piece of gold, sweetheart. I want you to be mine.” 

“I-“ you huff out a laugh, his bangs moving with the small gust of air. “I thought I already was. Have been since you kissed me.” 

If his grin could get any bigger, it just did, and his body relaxes, his weight heavier on top of you. The next kiss he gives you is all teeth and tongue, before he calms and kisses you proper. Kisses you like you’ve never been kissed before, his lips and the gentle swipe of his tongue erasing all the others that came before. Your giggle is muffled into his mouth, trying to pull him closer than he already was, but there wasn’t any room left. If you could find it within yourself to let go of his shirt, he could be pressed firmly against you, but then you would just want his shirt off, skin to skin, only for that to still not be enough. 

A small moan from you escapes into his mouth when he grinds his hips down into yours, butterflies erupting in your stomach as he does so. His large hands slide up your hips, your shirt coming up with them, and up your ribs until he’s exposed your chest. You hadn’t even bothered with a bra, not entirely expecting the night to go this far. His eyes widen at the surprise, and his cheeks go pink like he’s never had the pleasure of being inches from any pair of tits. Especially a pair like yours, beautiful and on display just for him. His mouth wraps around your right nipple, his teeth sinking into the perked up flesh, and a pained squeak falls past your lips, the sharp sting only working you up more. As an apology, he releases your nipple to swipe his tongue over it in circles, while his other hand cups your other breast, giving it a perfect squeeze. His lips move down, alternating between kisses and biting the soft flesh of your stomach until he’s positioned between your thighs. Looking up, as if asking permission, to which you nod vigorously in agreement, his hands wrap around your legs to rest them on the top of your thighs, fingers digging into the meat as he kisses the inside of your thighs. You can’t help but squirm when he pushes up the fabric of your skirt with his left hand, the one with all the chunky rings, and leaves it there to rest and places one single kiss on your clothed pussy. 

A broken whimper from you gets him into motion, removing his hand from the thigh for a brief moment, moving your panties to the side and licking up you slowly. Eager, he burrows down, his tongue swirling around your clit, nose pressed against your pubic bone, not minding the scratch of the coarse hair. In desperation to hold onto something to steady your uncontrollable squirming and maybe to just find a grip of reality while your mind floats into a high, your hand falls on his that kneads the flesh of your stomach. The lumpy metal digs into your palm, the pain bringing you further back to reality. His mouth, his hands, his heat leaves you for a moment, looking up to the panting mess that you are, and you whine at the lack of touch. One by one, Eddie removes the large jewelry while maintaining eye contact and tosses them to the side before slowly laying back down on his stomach. Slowly his eyes land on your drenched pussy, and you’d feel uncomfortable if it weren’t for the hunger in his eyes. 

“Wait,” you breathe out. Removing the spare scrunchie from your wrist, you sit up to gather all of his hair quickly, apologizing when your fingers get tangled in the curls, and put it all into a messy bun. You don’t even get to soak up the image of his hair being held by something of yours before he’s gently laying you back down, and his mouth returns to his previous work.

His heavy hands hold your already trembling thighs apart. A hesitant finger hovers near your wet entrance, sliding in slowly. You sigh in relief until he experimentally strokes your core, breath caught in your throat and back arching slightly off the bed. Pleading words, begging breaths, you want for more of his hefty fingers inside you, stretching you out for what you expect to be more later. He complies easy, tongue and fingers moving in sync faster, enjoying every moan that falls past your lips. His name is whined out on repeat, each one raising in tone and intensity along with the pressure in your stomach. He laps up the mess you make as you clench around his fingers and fall over the edge for the first, but not final, time of the night. Soft kisses with the intention of being soothing are scattered along your thighs and stomach as his soaked fingers rub your overstimulated clit, letting you catch your breath as you ride the high just a moment longer.

“Fuck,” you huff, a dazed smile following. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

Eddie moves so he’s hovering over you, chin glistening with his work. “Fantasy novels.”

“No, seriously.” With your thumb, you wipe the wetness off of his chin for him. There’s a beat of silence and you realize he isn’t joking. “Wait, seriously?”

“Well… yeah.” 

You sit both of you up, scooting up his mattress until your back touches the wall. There’s the pull of rejection in his chest the further you move away, the absence of your touch and the distance between the two of you sends a message that you don’t want to go further anymore. 

“But you-” you pause, adjusting your shirt so it isn’t exposing your chest. “You… you’re you.”

“That’s the problem, apparently.” The defeat in his voice makes you wince in regret. 

“No, I mean… you’re in a metal band and-” you almost don’t say it. “And I’ve heard… y’know.”

“That I’ll give a discount for putting out?” Amusement flickers in his eyes at that particular rumor. “Okay, I let one girl give me a handy, but that’s it. I’m a massive virgin otherwise.”

“Oh.” Your voice is small, going quiet so you can process what he’s told you. “Well, if you aren’t comfortable we don’t have to.”

“I set up the place for that purpose.” your stomach twists at the image of him excitedly getting ready, lighting the candles to set the mood all with the cute little smile he gets. “Unless you…”

“I’m not.” You almost feel bad for admitting it, but you didn’t regret losing your virginity to someone else. He didn’t seem jealous, just understanding. “And I wouldn’t mind.”

Eddie’s smile grows. “Good ‘cause I bought an entire box of condoms.” Leaning over, he pulls out the comically large box from his bedside table. 

“Were you expecting a sex marathon?” You gawk. 

“That’d be ideal.” 

You shut him up by swiftly removing your shirt and tossing it in his face. He’s quick to pull it off and toss it to the side, but you’re quicker in moving forward, hands falling on his shoulders and pushing him down so he’s on his back. If his hair were loose, you’d be distracted by the halo it created around his bed, but it isn’t. Instead it’s already fighting the scrunchie, his bangs falling down in sparse strands, making him look more innocent than he ever has. Crawling into his lap, you take care in placing yourself directly on his growing hard-on. His hands slide up your thighs to your waist, gripping tightly while you run yours up the entirety of his torso. A couple tugs on the fabric is your way of asking him to sit up enough so you can take it off. Immediately, your eyes land on the one tattoo you haven't had the pleasure of looking at for longer than a few seconds, and slowly you take in the small patch of hair in the middle of his chest. What gets your mouth watering is the thicker patch leading down underneath his jeans. On his back, you can see the peaks of his hip bones leading down to the short valley to his happy trail.

You drag your nails over the thicker patch of hair, smiling to yourself at his sharp intake of air, the upward tilt of his chin from your peripheral, working him up to squirm just as much as you had. He’s a whimpering mess while you only touch him anywhere besides the one place he wants. Desperate, he moves your hips for you, begging for any amount of friction. Almost defiantly, you scoot back, sitting on his thighs instead, and he huffs indignantly. You smirk, bite your bottom lip to keep from smiling fully at his pouting.

“Please,” he begs breathless, hips jutting into the air despite no available pressure from your weight. 

Giving in, you unbutton his jeans, finding the way they pop open satisfying, and tug slowly on his zipper. You can perfectly see the outline of his dick through his tight boxer briefs. You want to take your time, slowly pull his jeans off first and then his underwear, but that flies out of the window when you see just how girthy he is. You don’t undress him in any manner, running the palm of your hand up his length, a long moan filling the room. Leaning down, you kiss his stomach, his muscles jolting in surprise. You slip your hand past the waistband, fingertips brushing against the tip, already dripping at your light touch. Experimentally, you give a light squeeze when you’ve wrapped your hand fully around him. Using his pre-cum as aid, you start slow, his moans coming from deep in his chest. Slowly, you start increasing your speed, dropping kisses along his skin when he seems to get too quiet. 

“Baby, you gotta stop,” Eddie pants. You pull away completely, confusion and hurt covering your features. “No, no,” he takes your face between his hands. “I’m just gonna explode if you keep touching me like that, and I’m not quite finished with you yet.” 

You pause, blink once as heated shock covers your body over the realization. You almost made him cum too fast. Pride fills your chest, and you aren’t sure if it’s a bad feeling to have, but he returns your sheepish smile by grabbing a condom from the box. With fascination, you watch him as he rolls it on, not having had the luxury of witnessing this part. It was too dark or too quick before. There’s a bit of a struggle and you reach out to help but stop yourself, not wanting to take over. 

“Got it,” he smiles. 

“And you’re sure you want to…?” You aren’t afraid, but this is new to him. You don’t want him to be afraid. Everything should be perfect, though you know nothing ever is. 

“Do you?”

“Of course, Ed’s.” Running a hand down his chest to his stomach, to land on his strained cock, you give a reassuring smile. Before you climb back in his lap, he helps you out of your underwear, watching the way you smoothly throw a leg over him and line yourself up expertly without even looking. Raising your brows to wordlessly ask one more time, he answers by resting his hands on your hips, eyes never leaving yours. As you sink slowly down, there’s the familiar burning stretch that causes you to whimper, even more by his girth, but it’s all covered up by his moans. You bottom out, wiggling experimentally while he adjusts to the feeling.

And then you start moving your hips.

Slow at first, grinding your pussy into him, his head falling back onto the mattress and eyes squeezing shut. If he had any nails, they’d be digging into your skin, leaving crescents behind to remind you of this moment later, but his fingers are dull, pushing and pulling you into a perfect rhythm. Leaning down, you press kisses and soft bites onto his neck, your tits flat against his chest and moving with every desperate thrust he gives into you. You support yourself by your forearms, stopping your movements and letting him fuck himself into you. He’s a beautiful flustered mess when you look at him. He opens his eyes just a sliver to catch your smile. 

“Feel good?” You ask, voice soft.

“Mm-hm.” He can’t even speak, brows furrowed together roughly. “‘M gonna—“

“Go ahead.” You place a kiss on his pulse point, swallowing your moans as he thrusts harder, hitting your g-spot. His arms wrap around your waist holding you still, his hips becoming more erratic. “C’mon baby,” you coo. 

“Fuck,” he breathes out, giving a few good thrusts before his hips stutter. You give him a moment to catch his breath, the only sound in the room being his panting. 

Leaning back, you smother his face in kisses, feeling his laughter vibrate underneath your chest. 

“Hey,” you say semi-serious, his soft eyes meeting yours. “You did great.”

“I sure hope so.” He finally slides out of you and you whine in indignation, missing the feeling of him already. 

“You did.” You insist. 

There’s this moment where he almost looks like he believes you and you get this warm mushy feeling in your chest at the realization that you’ve had your first time together. Not in the back of his van but in a lovingly decorated trailer with zero chances of being interrupted. To top it all off, you’re also officially his girlfriend. 

“Sweetheart?” He breaks you out of your revere. “Kinda need you off of me to get this thing off.”

“And then we cuddle.”

He smiles. “And then we cuddle.” 

Rolling onto your back, you realize you’ve still got your skirt on, laughing to yourself as you take it off. You look around and find a shirt, unsure of whose it could be, and slip it on, watching Eddie walk out of the room despite promising to get back in bed. A moment later, he returns with a damp rag, gently spreading your legs and cleaning you up the best he knows how.

“I got it, thank you.” You take it from him gently, getting the spots he couldn’t and hand it back. He immediately tosses it behind his shoulder, hoping it lands in his laundry basket. “Eddie, gross.” 

“No time, my dear.” He crawls in right behind you, pulling his comforter over the both of you so you don’t end up cold. His nose nuzzles into the back of your neck, lips leaving soft kisses on the top of your spine. 

“I can’t sleep over,” you remind him, eyelids already feeling heavy.

“I know.”

“My dad wants me back before midnight.”

“I know.”

A hand snakes over your side, wrapping around your middle to pull you flush into his chest. He breathes you in, the smell of your honey shampoo tingling his senses. 

“Eddie?” 

“Hm?” He sounds sleepy and you know you’re in trouble. 

“We can officially do it in your van, now.”

“Finally,” he teases. 

Tag list: @hesvoid3434 @jane-ways @akiratoro420 @ali-r3n @stupid-infinity (there were a couple of you it wouldn't let me tag, sorry <;3)

[futurewdclandonorris]

Home | George Russell⁶³

Pairings: George Russell x fem!bestfriend!reader

Word count: 8316

Summary: it's been a week since George and you separated. One night he unexpectedly returns, but has enough time passed for everything to go back to normal?

Warnings: angst angst angst, fluff, more angst, but then even more fluff

A/N: Finallyyyyyy part 5 is here!!!! First of all, I want to thank everyone for reading, following, sharing, loving and supporting this mini series. I've had the time of my life writing this, something that's been brewing inside me for too long and I'm happy this platform allowed me to share it and for it to be so well received. Even if some of you called me evil for the things in part 4, but hey, I tried to make the plot interesting and unpredictable as much as I could. It would be boring if everything always ended in the same way, would it not? With that being said, I hope I manage to buy your forgiveness for the awful things in this FINAL part of bsf!George series! ♥♥♥ P.S. This song was a great inspoooo, you can thank it for getting this part

Previous part

George wasn’t mad at you. No, he was mad at himself. Mad at how his heart had betrayed him and at how he had let himself fall for someone he knew he couldn’t have. He should’ve been better at taking care of you last night, at keeping his feelings in check. He couldn't believe that he had let his feelings spill out like that, knowing deep down that it might push you away. And alcohol was no excuse. He just should’ve known better.

He stepped out of the building, the cold morning air biting at his skin, and walked towards his car, his mind filled with you. He couldn't bear to look up, couldn't bear to see the window where you stood, the image of your pained expression etched in his mind. George clenched his fists, fighting back the tears threatening to spill over once again. He had never felt so helpless, so lost.

His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white. He tried to steady his breathing as he replayed the scene in his mind over and over again. The look of shock on your face, the pain in your eyes as you pushed him away. How could he have been so foolish to think that confessing his love would solve everything? It only complicated things further, driving a wedge between the two of you.

“Dammit!” he hit the steering wheel out of frustration. He wanted to run back and knock on your door, to beg for a chance to make things right, to plead with you to give him another opportunity. But he knew deep down that he had to respect your space, your need for time to sort through your emotions. He couldn't bear the thought of causing you more pain by being any more selfish and demanding your immediate attention.

And there was no time either. Race week had started and he had to go home and pack if he meant to catch the evening flight. The further he drove from your apartment the more he felt like he was getting away from a future he had allowed himself to envision with you.

When he finally reached his apartment, he sat in his car for what felt like an eternity, staring blankly ahead. The thought of packing for the race seemed inconsequential now, a triviality in the face of the emotional storm raging inside him. But he knew he had to keep moving forward, even if every fiber of his being wanted to turn back and fight for you.

The apartment felt empty and cold, mirroring the ache in his chest. He mechanically packed his bags, his movements robotic as he tried to push down the torrent of feelings threatening to overwhelm him. The sweater you had borrowed from him lay crumpled on the bed, a painful reminder of what had transpired between you.

As George zipped up his suitcase, he paused, his hand hovering over the sweater. With a determined glint in his eyes, he picked it up and folded it carefully, tucking it into a corner of his bag. It was a small reminder of you, a piece of him that he couldn't bear to leave behind. It was the second best thing if you don’t show up on the track like it was planned as well.

The drive to the airport was a blur, the city passing by in a haze as George wrestled with his inner turmoil. Should he have fought harder? Should he have just left without a fight? The questions swirled in his mind, each one stabbing at his heart like a jagged knife.

He barely remembered checking in for his flight, the motions automatic and distant. The loudspeaker announcements and bustling crowds at the airport seemed to fade into the background as he found his seat on the plane and as the engines roared to life, propelling the aircraft down the runway, George's mind was still consumed by thoughts of you.

The plane ascended into the sky, leaving behind the city where his heart remained tangled with yours. He stared out of the window, watching the landscape below shrink into miniature shapes. The distance between him and you grew with each passing second, yet he couldn't shake off the feeling that a part of him was left behind, anchored to you.

The flight attendant interrupted his reverie, offering him a drink with a polite smile. George instinctively accepted, taking a sip of the lukewarm coffee but hardly registering its taste. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions, regret and longing mingling with uncertainty about what the future held for him and for you.

He made a silent promise to himself, a promise to give you all the space you needed while also holding onto hope for a future where your paths might converge once again.

-

You spent the whole week thinking. Wondering. Realizing. You barely left your apartment or moved from that one spot on your couch. You couldn’t enter your bedroom without being reminded of George, the memories of his presence lingering in every corner. The faint scent of his cologne still clung to the air, a painful reminder of the intimacy you had shared.

It wasn’t just your bedroom. Your whole apartment was full of him. Starting from the clothes that were piling up every time you had borrowed something and never returned. They were now neatly folded in his section of your closet.

The books he lent you, with his notes scribbled in the margins, were scattered on the coffee table. You picked up one of them, running your fingers over his handwriting, feeling a pang of nostalgia for the easy camaraderie you shared. But now, everything felt tainted by the confession he had made, by the emotions that had spilled out into the open and shattered the already fragile balance between you.

In the kitchen, he had his mug he always used and you didn't let anyone else touch it. “It is George's mug,” you would say. At the time you didn't think anything of it, but was it normal that friends had such possession over each other's items? Not that you were just friends, though, were you? The events of that night had made it abundantly clear that there was a depth to your relationship that extended beyond mere friendship. But where did that leave you now? Confusion clouded your thoughts, making it hard to see a way forward.

Maybe the worst part was that he even had his own toothbrush in your bathroom. How often did he crash that he–or you–needed to buy one? Next to it was his razor. No, that was definitely the worst. He shaves almost every morning and you found yourself wondering how many times had he stood in your bathroom, meticulously shaving before a big race, the sound of the blade scraping against his skin, a familiar background noise in your shared space? How many mornings had you watched him from the doorway, a warm feeling blooming in your chest at the sight of him so vulnerable yet so achingly familiar? It was a mundane yet intimate act that now felt like a distant memory, a relic of a time when things were simpler between you.

The realization that George had seamlessly become a part of your daily routine hit you like a ton of bricks. How could you go back to your normal life without him now that he had made himself so at home in your space?

The signs. They were all over. And you were blind. Too blind. Maybe even deliberately so. Standing there, you realized it was like you did everything backwards. First it was like he lived there, was your lover, friend and now a stranger. Isn't it how it always ends though? Ultimately with every ending, a person you part with becomes a stranger. Maybe not literally so, but the person you knew turns into someone you don't recognize anymore and that's what leads to a break up.

Not that you and George were completely over, far from it, but that's what happened when he confessed his love. You couldn't recognize him as your friend anymore. That wasn't your friend, couldn't be.

You moved through your apartment like a ghost, your steps heavy with the weight of sorrow. Every corner held a piece of George, a piece of the life you had built together without even realizing it. How could you have been so blind to the depth of his feelings for you? How could you have missed the signs that now seemed glaringly obvious in hindsight?

The toothbrush in the bathroom seemed to mock you, a symbol of the intimacy that had grown between you and now lay shattered at your feet. Frowning, you went to the kitchen and pulled out a cardboard box out of your pantry. You started shoving each and every of his belongings into it.

The once familiar space of your apartment now felt foreign and cold, stripped of the warmth and comfort that George had brought into it. You couldn't bear to look at the empty spot in the closet where his clothes used to hang or the blank space on the coffee table where his books had once been. It was as if he had never been there at all, as if all of it had been nothing but a figment of your imagination.

You sealed the box shut and left it by the front door. You’ll send the stuff back. Or throw them away if he doesn’t want them. Either is good. But not just yet. You wanted to hold onto them just for a little while longer. You sat on the floor next to it, buried your face in your hands and finally allowed yourself to cry.

-

George busied himself with media stuff and training. His days were a whirlwind of interviews and practice sessions, leaving no solitary moment to spend lost in thought. He threw himself into his work and training with a fervor that bordered on obsession. Every spare moment was filled with activity, leaving no room for the thoughts of you that threatened to consume him. Or so he thought.

“Okay, that’s it.” his trainer announced. “We’re done for today.”

“Aw man, I was just in the zone,” George protested, a bead of sweat trailing down his forehead.

“I don’t know what zone you were in, but you were definitely not focused. Your mind is somewhere else today. Like it was yesterday, and the day before.” the trainer replied, eyeing George with a knowing look. “I need you here, present.”

“Don't know how much more present I can be, I am literally here,” George frowned.

“Physically you are, but I need you mentally,” the trainer said and touched the side of George’s head. “I don’t mind training with you twice or even three times a day, but it’s obvious you’re running away from something.”

George's facade cracked, a flicker of vulnerability betraying the stoic mask he wore. He knew he couldn't keep up the charade any longer, not with his trainer's penetrating gaze boring into him. With a heavy sigh, he slumped down on a nearby bench, running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair.

“I told her,” he confessed, the words tumbling out like a dam breaking. “I told her how I felt, and she... I don’t know how to fix it.”

His trainer sat down next to him, a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “So you finally confessed.”

“I didn’t mean to. It just slipped. We were having a fight because-”

“Because?”

He stopped, the memories flooding back in a rush. The fight replayed in his mind like a broken record, the sharp words and raw emotions still fresh in his heart. He took a deep breath, steeling himself before continuing.

“We got drunk and did something we shouldn’t have. We, uh, slept together. And it's not just that. There were things that happened even before...”

He felt his trainer's gaze studying him, waiting for the rest of the story. George hesitated, unsure if he should reveal more. But the words spilled out before he could stop them.

“It wasn’t just a mistake, though,” George admitted, his voice laced with regret. “I’ve been in love with her for a while now, you know that. I thought maybe she felt the same way, but when I told her...” He trailed off, unable to articulate the ache in his chest.

“She pushed me away,” George revealed, his voice barely a whisper. “Told me she didn’t see us that way. And now everything is so messed up between us. I don’t know how to fix it.”

“But she didn’t call it a mistake, did she?” His trainer's question hung in the air, heavy with meaning. George looked up, his eyes meeting the trainer's intense gaze.

“No, she didn’t,” George replied, a hint of confusion in his voice. “She just...said we needed space. That she needed space.”

His trainer nodded thoughtfully, absorbing George’s words. “Sometimes, space is what’s needed to gain a better perspective on things.”

George let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temples as if trying to ease the tension that coiled within him. “I just can’t shake this feeling that I’ve ruined everything. That I’ve lost her completely.”

“You haven’t lost her, George,” the trainer reassured him, his tone firm yet gentle. “Sometimes, taking a step back is what you both need to figure things out. Give her the space she asked for, but don’t lose hope. Love has a way of finding its way back to where it belongs.”

George looked up at his trainer, gratitude shining in his eyes. “I’m sorry to burden you with all this. Thank you for listening.”

“Don’t apologize, G, that’s what I’m here for. Not only to care about your body, but also your mind.” The trainer patted George on the back, a reassuring smile on his face. “It’s good to get it all out in the open. Now that you’ve told her how you feel, the ball is in her court. Give her some time to process everything, and in the meantime, focus on yourself. You can’t control how she feels or what she decides to do, but you can control how you handle this situation.”

George nodded, the weight on his shoulders feeling a little lighter with his trainer’s words of wisdom.

“Now go back to your room, take a shower, relax. And remember, this too shall pass. Tomorrow is a big day and she would like you to do good.”

George nodded in understanding once more, a sense of calm finally settling over him.

-

You never had to face any challenges alone. You always had George by your side and together, you could conquer anything. But now he turned into one of those challenges and you had to figure it out on your own. You knew deep down that the space was necessary, that you both needed time to think this through and figure out what you truly wanted in order to move on.

The familiar sounds of the city outside your window seemed to echo the turmoil in your heart. Each passing day felt like an eternity as you grappled with the weight of your decisions and the ache of George's absence.

You found yourself reaching for your phone multiple times throughout the day, your thumb hovering over his contact name before pulling back at the last second. You wanted to call him, to hear his voice and to mend the broken pieces between you two. But something always held you back. Not just yet.

You busied yourself with mundane tasks to distract yourself from thoughts of George, but his absence lingered like a ghost in every corner of your home.

A notification went off on your phone, reminding you of the race weekend approaching. If everything were right, you would be packing your bags and catching a flight and not choking on your tears in the living room, clutching your phone. The reminder only served to intensify the whirlwind of emotions already swirling inside you. You should’ve been there with him, cheering him on and supporting him through the highs and lows of the weekend. But now, the distance between you felt insurmountable, a chasm of uncertainty and unspoken words.

You missed him more than words could express, more than tears could convey.

On Saturday, you turned the TV on and watched the qualifying session even though you promised you wouldn’t. It would only torture you more. But you felt obligated to support him even from a distance, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he would feel the warmth of your encouragement seeping through the miles that separated you.

The cars raced around the track, their engines roaring like thunder in the distance. You couldn't help but watch, your heart heavy with a mix of longing and regret. Each turn they took on the screen mirrored the twists and turns of your own emotions, the unpredictability of the future weighing heavily on your mind.

As you watched the cars speed by, a flash of black caught your eye. It was George's car, unmistakable even from a distance. Your heart leaped into your throat as you saw him maneuvering through the pack with skill and determination. Despite everything that had transpired between you, a part of you still held out hope for a future where you two could find your way back to each other.

But now, as you watched him from afar, a sense of regret gnawed at you. You should have been there beside him, sharing in his triumphs and soothing his defeats. Instead, you were stuck in this limbo of unreliability and self-reflection.

The qualifying session seemed to pass in a blur, the cars flashing by like ghosts on the screen, but George’s final lap had you holding your breath. When his time flashed on the screen, you let out a heavy sigh. It was a good time, but not good enough to qualify on the front. You couldn’t help but think that maybe if you had been there, things would have turned out differently. A pang of guilt tugged at your heart as you watched George’s disappointed expression on the screen. You wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him, but you knew it was impossible.

You turned the TV off. The weight of your decision to give each other space settled deeper in your chest as you stared at the blank screen, the remnants of George's image still burned in your mind. The silence of your apartment felt stifling, suffocating you with its emptiness. You knew that you needed to make a decision soon, to either reach out to George and try to mend what was broken or to continue down this path of separation and solitude.

The following day, you woke up with a heaviness in your chest. It was race day. Would George be able to focus on the race with everything that had transpired between you two? Would he be thinking of you as he navigated each turn and straightaway? Is he even thinking of you?

As the race time drew near, you found yourself pacing around the apartment, unable to sit still. Your phone lay on the coffee table, silent and untouched. In normal circumstances, you would send him a message of encouragement, a simple "Good luck" to let him know you were thinking of him. But now, the words stuck in your throat. You didn’t want to give him false hope in case you needed more time before you finally talk. No, it was better this way.

The sound of the commentator's voice filled the room, announcing the start of the race. You couldn't bring yourself to look at the TV this time, the thought of watching George out on the track without you by his side in this situation too painful to bear. Instead, you stood by the window, staring out at the city below as if searching for some semblance of clarity in its bustling streets.

Minutes felt like hours as you waited, each passing second heavy with anticipation and anxiety. Finally, the roar of engines reached a crescendo, signaling the end of the race. Your heart raced alongside them, unsure of what news awaited you.

You turned to the TV, your hands trembling as you searched for George's name amidst the list of racers. When you finally found it, your heart dropped. He was in the top 10, he scored points, but you knew it was not the result he wanted.

You couldn't help but feel responsible, as if it was your decision to give each other space that had kept you both from achieving satisfaction and now you had to live with the consequences. A tear rolled down your cheek as you thought about what could have been if you had chosen a different path.

In the quiet moments that followed, you realized that you had set yourself on this course of action alone, but you had no idea where it would lead. You needed to take a deep breath and figure out what you wanted from this arrangement, and whether it was possible to have the life you both deserved with each other.

-

You were getting ready for bed and it was around midnight when you heard a knock on your door. You frowned, thinking who could it possibly be at this late hour or if to even open at all. With cautious steps, you made your way to the door, a sense of apprehension tightening your chest. As you reached for the doorknob, you paused, gathering your courage before swinging the door open.

You expected a neighbor, or anyone else, but standing before you, illuminated by the dim light filtering in from the hallway, was George. His usual confident demeanor was replaced by a vulnerability you had never seen before. His eyes, usually bright, now held a mixture of sadness and longing as they met yours.

“I could’ve gone to my apartment, but it is cold and empty and I wanted to… come home.” George's voice was barely above a whisper, the words heavy with emotion.

You stood there, stunned by his unexpected presence, unsure of what to say or how to react. The air between you crackled with unspoken words and unresolved feelings, the tension palpable in the space that separated your bodies.

“But I see now that was a mistake. You clearly—” but as he reached to take his bag, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him, catching him off guard.

“You’re home,” you murmured against his chest, holding him tighter.

George hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond to your embrace. But as he felt the warmth of your arms around him, the weight on his shoulders seemed to lift, and he slowly returned the hug. The barriers that had kept you apart for so long melted away in that single embrace, leaving behind a sense of relief and an unspoken promise of forgiveness.

“I missed you,” you choked out, your voice barely audible. “I missed you so much, George.”

His response was to hold you tighter, as if trying to erase the distance and time that had separated you.

“I missed you too,” George whispered, his voice shaking with tears he was holding back. “I missed you every single day.”

The silence that enveloped you was no longer suffocating but comforting, a space where words were no longer necessary to convey the depth of your feelings for each other.

After what felt like an eternity, George finally pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation or doubt. But all he found was a deep-rooted affection and a silent plea for a fresh start.

“Come in,” you finally said, whipping away little tears and moving aside.

George stepped inside, his eyes never leaving yours as if searching for any hint of uncertainty. As he walked further into the apartment, you couldn't help but notice how the dim light from the hallway accentuated the lines of weariness on his face, lines that spoke of sleepless nights and unanswered questions.

You led him to the living room, both of you enveloped in a cocoon of silence that felt both heavy and fragile. George sat down on the arm chair, his hands fidgeting with the straps of his bag, while you perched on the edge of the couch, unsure of what to say or do next.

“Are you hungry? I can make you something quickly—”

“No need,” George interrupted, his voice soft yet firm. You nodded, another silence falling among you.

“No offense, George, but you look awful,” you couldn't help but blurt out, the words slipping from your lips before you could stop them. George's head shot up, surprise flickering in his tired eyes, before a hint of amusement crept in.

“I haven’t slept in days, y/n,” he replied as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

A pang of guilt twinged in your chest at his admission, but also relief that you weren’t the only one having nights with little to no sleep.

“I understand,” you said softly. George nodded, his expression a mix of exhaustion and relief at being back in your presence.

“You know what I’m the most tired of?” he didn’t wait for your answer. “Being apart from you.” he opened his eyes and met yours.

Tears welled up in your eyes at George's heartfelt confession, his words echoing the sentiments you had been carrying in your own heart all this time. You reached out a trembling hand to brush a lock of hair away from his face, your fingertips lingering on his cheek as if trying to memorize the feel of his skin.

“I’m sorry for what I put us both through—”

George placed a finger against your lips, silencing your apology. “Y/n,” he called, his tone warning. “I’m tired.” his eyes darted to your lap and then back to your eyes again and you understood.

“Okay,” you said softly. “We’ll talk in the morning. Come here now.” you pulled yourself on the couch and patted your thighs, making room for him to lay and rest his head on your lap.

You ran your fingers through his hair, the simple act bringing a sense of peace and familiarity that had been missing in both your lives for more than long.

In the soft glow of the lamp beside the couch, you sat together in silence, the rhythmic pattern of your fingers against his scalp creating a soothing lullaby that seemed to calm the storm raging within both of you.

“Did you watch the race?” he murmured.

"Yes, I did," you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I watched it all."

George let out a heavy sigh, the weight of his exhaustion evident in the slump of his shoulders. "So you saw me messing up," his voice tinged with regret.

You continued to run your fingers through his hair, offering him comfort in your touch. “You didn't mess up. You did well, George. Top 10 is nothing to be disappointed about. I’m proud of you.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he closed his eyes, basking in the comfort of your touch. “I wanted more,” he admitted softly, a hint of frustration seeping into his words.

You smiled, somehow finding it unusual he wanted to make a small talk out of his race. He never wanted to do that if he wasn’t satisfied with the results. But everything was better than talking about you two at the moment, you guessed.

“You always want more, George,” you replied, a teasing lilt in your voice. “But you gave it your all out there. That’s what matters,” you reassured him, your voice gentle and soothing.

George let out a contented sigh, his body relaxing against yours. The weight of the past seemed to lift off his shoulders with each passing moment spent in your embrace. He turned his head slightly, looking up at you with a mix of gratitude and longing in his eyes. "Thank you for letting me come back," he whispered.

A wave of tenderness washed over you as you gazed down at him, seeing the vulnerability and sincerity in his expression. Without a word, you leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, a silent promise of forgiveness and understanding.

As George closed his eyes, a sense of peace settled between you, the weight of past grievances slowly lifting.

“Tell me what you did without me. I want to listen to your voice,” he said, his words trailing off as sleep began to claim him.

You smiled softly, a warmth spreading through your chest at his request. But how were you to tell him about all the days spent missing him, about the hollow ache in your chest that only his presence could fill, about the countless moments when a simple sight or sound would bring back memories of him flooding into your mind. How could you convey the depth of your longing, the way his absence had left a void in your life that no amount of distractions could fill? How were you to tell him that the most you’ve done in the week was pack his things in a cardboard box that was still by the door?

But you knew George needed to rest, to find solace in the peaceful refuge you offered him. So, you began recounting mundane details of your days, from the way the sun cast golden hues through the windows in the mornings to the sound of rain tapping against the roof on lonely nights. You spoke of small victories and minor setbacks, all the while keeping your voice soft and soothing as he drifted off into a much-needed slumber.

As George's breathing evened out, you continued to stroke his hair gently, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against your thighs. The apartment was quiet, the only sound was the soft hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen.

You leaned back against the couch, your thoughts swirling with memories of the time you had spent apart. The ache of missing him had been a constant companion, a dull throb in your heart that no amount of distraction could alleviate. And now that he was here, lying in your lap once more, you were at a loss for how to bridge the gap that had formed between you. But that will have to wait till morning.

With a heavy sigh, you shifted slightly on the couch, careful not to disturb George, and closed your eyes.

-

A motion woke you. You were moving, but not of your own volition. As consciousness slowly seeped back into your mind, you realized that the movement was not yours alone. Someone was carrying you, their arms wrapped securely around your body. Confusion and fear jolted through you as you tried to make sense of the situation.

Opening your eyes, you found yourself met with darkness. The soft glow of the lamp by the couch was nowhere to be seen, leaving you disoriented in the black void surrounding you. The arms holding you tightened slightly, a silent reassurance in their grip.

"George?" you whispered, the word barely audible even to your own ears. A shiver ran down your spine as the silence stretched on, broken only by the sound of footsteps echoing in the dark.

A voice, deep and familiar, cut through the void. "It's me," George whispered, his warm breath tickling your ear. You could feel his heart beating steadily against your back as he carried you towards the bedroom.

You wanted to protest, to insist that he didn’t have to go through the trouble, but the comfort of his embrace and the rhythmic sway of his movements lulled you into compliance. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his familiar scent that brought a sense of peace unlike anything else.

Before you knew it, you found yourself being laid down gently on the soft bed.

"I'm sorry for waking you," he whispered, his voice tinged with regret. "I just couldn't bear to leave you there on the couch."

You reached out a hand to find him in the darkness, intertwining your fingers with his as a silent reassurance that it was alright.

“Stay with me,” you breathed.

George's hand tightened around yours, his touch grounding you. “No, let’s not repeat past…” he trailed off, not wanting to call it a mistake. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Then let me sleep on the couch, you can stay here—” you insisted, the words slipping out before you could second-guess them. You sat up, the covers pooling at your waist, and made to move off the bed. But George’s hand on your arm stopped you, his touch gentle yet firm.

“No,” he murmured, his voice holding a note of determination that brooked no argument. “I’ll be fine. Go back to sleep.” he kissed your forehead and left the room.

-

You woke up to the first light of dawn filtering in through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room, the events of the previous night almost feeling dreamlike. That’s when your eyes shot up and you bolted upright in bed, the bed sheets slipping off your body as you stumbled out of bed and ran to the living room almost tripping over your two feet.

You leaned against the doorframe and breathed a sigh of relief as you spotted him sleeping still on your couch. It wasn’t a dream. He was really there. Silently, you made your way over to him and sat down in the arm chair beside the couch.

You took in the sight of him. He was sleeping on his stomach with mouth slightly parted, stretched out with his whole length that his feet were dangling over the armrest. His hair was tousled, and the early morning light painted a golden hue over his features, highlighting the faint stubble on his jawline and the way his eyelashes swept against his cheeks.

The blanket he found was too short to cover his whole frame and the decorative pillow he used as a makeshift headrest had slid slightly to the side. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight, a surge of affection welling up inside you as you watched him sleep so peacefully.

For a moment, you allowed yourself to simply be in his presence, to take in the quiet intimacy of this shared space. The distance that had seemed insurmountable in the past now felt like a small gap waiting to be bridged. With each rise and fall of George’s chest, you felt a renewed sense of hope blooming within you.

“… You’re staring.” George murmured without opening his eyes.

You immediately turned away, a blush creeping in. “I was not.”

“I could feel the intensity of it, even with my eyes closed.” you could hear the chuckle in his voice.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks. You shifted in your seat, trying to appear nonchalant as you averted your gaze from George’s sleeping form.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, his eyes still closed. “I don’t mind.”

You risked a glance back at him, finding his lips turned up in a small, lopsided smile. The warmth in his expression eased the tension coiled within you, and you couldn’t help but return his smile.

“Hey, y/n, look at me,” he said and your eyes finally met, making you suck in a deep breath. “Good morning,” he smiled.

“Good morning,” you replied. “Did you sleep okay?”

“I did,” George answered, pushing himself up into a sitting position on the couch. He stretched his arms above his head, letting out a contented sigh.

"You should have slept in the bed," you said, unable to keep the words from spilling out. "I could have taken the couch."

George shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "I'm fine here," he assured you, his voice warm and gentle. "Besides, I've slept on worse during my travels."

You shook your head, but chuckled anyway, the tension ebbing away as you let yourself relax into the moment.

“Do you… Do you want to stay for breakfast? I could make us something to eat,” you offered, a flicker of hope dancing in your eyes.

George’s smile widened, his gaze meeting yours with a softness that made your heart flutter. “Yes, I would love that, y/n,” he replied, gratitude shining in his eyes.

“Great!” You rose from the arm chair, a newfound sense of determination fueling your steps as you made your way to the kitchen. The familiar sounds of George following behind you brought a smile to your lips, the simple act of sharing a meal together filling you with a warmth that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I’ll just wash up while you prepare the food,” George offered, rolling up his sleeves as he headed towards the bathroom to freshen up.

The sound of running water mingled with the clinking of dishes as you set about gathering ingredients for breakfast.

As you cracked eggs into a bowl, a sense of contentment washed over you. George’s presence in your home felt right, like a missing piece clicking into place. The aroma of sizzling bacon filled the kitchen, punctuated by the rich scent of freshly brewed coffee. But the magic of the morning was disrupted when George called for you.

“Um, y/n, did you throw away my toothbrush?”

You froze mid-crack, the eggshell slipping from your fingers and landing in the bowl with a soft splat. The box.

You quickly wiped your hands on a kitchen towel and rushed to the bathroom, where George was standing with an open toiletry bag in his hand. “I thought I left my toothbrush here,” he said, a puzzled expression on his face.

Your heart sank as you remembered how you packed all of his things into a cardboard box and put it by the front door, looking to erase any trace of him from your apartment. The guilt washed over you in a wave, knowing that you had acted rashly in a moment of hurt and confusion.

“George, I…” you began, but the words caught in your throat. How could you tell him that you had packed up his belongings, fully intending to remove every trace of him from your place? The silence stretched between you, thick with unspoken regret and heartache.

George’s expression shifted from confusion to understanding, his gaze flickering with a mix of disappointment and resignation. “You were going to send my things back,” he stated quietly, more as a statement of fact than a question.

You nodded wordlessly, unable to meet his eyes as shame burned hot in your cheeks. “I-I’m sorry,” you stammered, the weight of your actions crashing down on you with full force. “I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s okay, y/n,” George interrupted gently, his voice soft and forgiving. “I understand why you did it.” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder, his touch grounding you in the midst of your turmoil. “I know things have been difficult between us, but we can talk about it. We can figure this out together.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you finally dared to look at him, seeing the sincerity in his gaze that mirrored the ache in your own heart. “I never wanted to push you away,” you whispered, the words heavy with regret. “I just… I didn’t know how to handle everything.”

George’s thumb brushed away a stray tear from your cheek, his touch gentle and full of understanding. “We both made mistakes,” he admitted, his voice tinged with vulnerability. “But it doesn’t mean we can’t try to make things right.”

A surge of hope blossomed within you at his words, a flicker of light in the darkness that had clouded your hearts for so long. But all of a sudden, the apartment smelled of burning.

“Oh my God, the bacon!” You bolted back to the kitchen, where smoke billowed from the skillet on the stove. The once-crackling bacon lay charred and forgotten, a victim of your distraction. Frantically waving a towel to disperse the smoke, you turned off the burner and opened a window to let the acrid fumes escape.

George followed you into the kitchen, a chuckle escaping his lips at the sight of the burnt bacon. “Well, I guess breakfast is going to be delayed a bit,” he remarked, his eyes crinkling with amusement.

You couldn’t help but join in his laughter, the tension that had gripped your heart moments ago loosening its hold. “I promise I’m a better cook than this,” you said, a sheepish grin on your face as you cleared away the charred remains of breakfast.

“I have no doubt about that,” George replied, stepping closer to you and taking the towel from your hands to help with the clean-up. The simple act of working together in harmony warmed your soul, a silent understanding passing between you as you moved around the kitchen in tandem. Once the cleaning was done, you both settled at the small kitchen table.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” you said, rushing to the corner by your front door.

You returned with the cardboard box that held George's things, feeling a mix of apprehension and determination.

“All your things are in here,” George watched as you placed the cardboard box on the table, his expression unreadable as you spoke. Silence enveloped the kitchen, broken only by the distant sounds of traffic outside. Talking about packing his stuff was one thing, but seeing that you actually did it was another. You held your breath, waiting for George’s response, unsure of what to expect. Would he be angry? Hurt? Disappointed?

Slowly, George reached out and lifted the lid of the box, his gaze flickering over the contents within. His fingers brushed against familiar items—a toothbrush, a worn paperback novel, a battered travel journal, a familiar beanie, the softly knit fabric a testament to the countless times he had worn it on chilly nights—as if seeking reassurance in their presence. 

George's eyes flickered between the contents of the box and your face, searching for any hint of what was to come. Your heart felt heavy with the weight of your actions, the fear of rejection looming over you like a storm cloud ready to burst.

“I never should have tried to erase you from my life like that. It was a mistake and I’m sorry.” you said. “You can have everything put back or take them with you. It’s your choice now. If it’s the latter, I’ll understand—”

“What do you want?” His voice was soft, but the question echoed loudly in the space between you. What did you want? It was a simple question with a million answers, each one more complicated than the last.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s not up to me—”

“It matters to me,” George interjected, his gaze unwavering as he met your eyes. “I need to know what you want. Not what you think I want to hear, but what you truly desire in your heart.”

Blinking away the tears that threatened to fall, you met his gaze. “I want you back. All the time, everyday.”

George's expression softened, a mixture of relief and hope shining in his eyes. Without a word, he reached for your hand and pulled you onto his lap. You didn’t protest. The gesture was both familiar and foreign, the warmth of his embrace wrapping around you like a lifeline.

“I want that too, y/n,” George said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. “I want us to try again, to work through our problems together and rebuild what we had.” he rested his chin on your shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around you as you leaned into him.

“I was so scared, George. When you confessed—”

“Look, we can pretend I never confessed if it means we’ll stay—”

“What?! No! You can’t just take back your confession! That’s such a cowardly move and the least I expected from you, George William Russell!”

George's eyes widened at your outburst, surprise flickering across his face before giving way to a mixture of amusement and affection. His grip on you tightened briefly before he loosened it, allowing you to turn around and face him. You could see the humor dancing in his eyes as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

“Oh no, you pulled the middle name card and now I’m terrified.” A chuckle escaped George’s lips, the tension between you both dissipating with each shared smile.

“I had to. I will not allow it. Especially not when I feel the same way towards you.” your admission hung in the air like a fragile thread, waiting to be strengthened or severed by the response it would elicit.

George’s eyes widened at your words, his eyes searching yours for any hint of doubt or uncertainty. “Eh… fucking pardon?"

“I’m in love with you too, George William. I mean it.” you even surprised yourself how easy it was to say it. You didn’t feel scared anymore. If anything, you felt invincible.

But seeing the look on his face made you doubt. You held your breath, waiting for his response, the silence stretching between you like an impassable chasm. What if he didn’t love you like that anymore? What if the space you have asked for helped him get over you? He did try to take back his confession.

Slowly, a smile spread across his face, breaking like the dawn after a long night.

“I… I don’t even know where to begin,” George murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I never expected…” He trailed off, at a loss for words as he reached up to cup your cheek, his touch gentle and reverent.

You rested your forehead against his, sighing in relief. “Time apart helped me open my eyes. I realized how much you mean to me, that I was so lost without you. I tried to fill the void your absence left with distractions and busyness, but nothing ever felt quite right. It was like a puzzle missing a piece, incomplete no matter how hard I tried to force it together. But now, with you here in front of me, holding me close and looking at me like I'm the only thing that matters, I finally feel whole again.”

George’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears as he listened to your heartfelt words, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. The weight of the past lingered in the air between you, but the warmth of your confession enveloped you both like a comforting embrace. In that moment, all the uncertainties and fears melted away, leaving only the truth of your feelings shining bright.

“I love you, y/n,” George finally whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. “I never stopped loving you.”

You captured his lips in a tender kiss, pouring all your love and gratitude into the simple act, catching him off guard. But quickly, he kissed you back, burying his hands in your hair to pull you even closer.

It was a kiss filled with longing, with promises of a future together, of rediscovered love and unspoken apologies. The world outside faded away as you melted into each other, the taste of forgiveness and hope on your lips. The box of George’s things lay forgotten on the table, a silent witness to the reunion that had unfolded before it.

As you pulled back, George cupped your face in his hands, his gaze searching yours with a depth of emotion that took your breath away. “I want to make things right between us, y/n. I want us to rebuild what we had and create something even stronger. Will you give me that chance?”

There was no hesitation in your response as you nodded, a smile of pure joy lighting up your face. “Yes, George. I want that more than anything.”

You leaned in to kiss him again, but his stomach rumbled loudly, breaking the tender moment with a burst of laughter from both of you. George’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he sheepishly rubbed his stomach, a playful glint in his eyes.

“I think that’s a sign we should probably eat something,” he said with a chuckle.

You nodded, feeling your stomach join in with its own protest. “I think burnt bacon is off the menu for this morning,” you replied, teasingly.

George laughed and stood up, pulling you along with him. “Let’s order in. I’ll make sure this time it’s something edible.”

“What’s wrong with my cooking?”

George raised an eyebrow at your question, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Your cooking is charming. But let’s just say I prefer my bacon a little less… crispy.”

You playfully swatted his arm before following him to the living room, where the two of you settled down on the couch with your favorite takeout menus spread out. As you leaned against George’s side, the scent of new beginnings lingering in the air around you, you couldn’t help but feel grateful for second chances and the love that never truly faded, no matter how much time had passed. Together, you began planning your first meal as a couple, laughter and joy filling the space that once held only precariousness and regret.

And as you listened to George’s easy banter and felt his fingers interlaced with yours, you knew deep in your heart that this time, everything would be different. This time, you both were ready to face whatever challenges came your way, hand in hand, knowing that you’ll always have each other.

[mrbrightxside]

SHARE YOUR HEADCANNONS ABOUT CHRISTINAAAAA 🫶🫶

First, I'm so sorry for the late answer months later 😭😭🙏 Please forgive me and second!! Actually I hadn't thought of many headcanons for her... yet... but she's one of my favorite characters so ofc I thought of some!! I might say silly ones or ones more about her personal life (and definitely not projecting some parts!) I love Christina Posabule 🙏♥️

Music wise I think Christina would like 60s music, rock, and/or synth-pop or idk genres are hard to actually get right nowadays. If it's specfic, "The Daughters of Eve" and Mitski would be part of her favorites fjjdbrbnd (then I think she'd like The Killers especially "When You Were Young" when she was in her teens :)) Speaking of Christina in her teens, she'd want to learn piano or some sort of instrument but her parents probably got annoyed by how much she played so she wouldn't have as many chances. She's definitely a bookworm or just loves reading and also writes in her freetime like little stories or poems. And when Block ended up staying with Orel's family, she was kind of the only one who missed him as her parents didn't really mind/express their emotions about it.

Andddd talking about her parents, they're both VERY controlling and kept watch on what she'd do, the polar opposite with Orel, which his parents didn't gaf where he was 💔💔 Especially Poppit, and I think with Christina's story it'd be a toxic mother-daughter relationship (mommy issues!) rather than her and her dad, and that Poppit rather likes taking charge but to be in "a woman's place" y'know sexism and even tells Art what to do but makes sure that he does what a "man has to." And she'd be veryyy persistent on Christina with how she presents herself and make sure that she was a nice church girl at all times. And Poppit would very much have breakdowns in front of her and vent to her about her own issues... yeah... And whenever Christina was getting yelled at or being told what to do the only thing she could do is not say anything back to not upset them. She was also grabbed a lot like by her wrists or something similar how they showed in the show. When she moved to Moralton, she was bummed out bc yeah she just moved to a new place where she knows no one. Then when she met Orel something about him intrigued her and she's like Oooh y'know what I like this place already... then BOOM! Having to move again :( Also I don't know if it's just me but she's probably homeschooled or she's just attending another school jfjfnntnf and about her past town she'd be doing so many shenanigans during the same time as Orel probably. Another silly thing she might be more confident than him like I think he'd be more shy when he got older fjjdjnfbfn

Also yes Christina was sadistic I had to say it bc... we remember Orel's masochist era... And same thing with her being emo/goth when Orel was and at least for a while when they were teens👍👍 It's canon bc I said so

About when she's an adult, once Orel and her got married and had their kids, she'd be really worried about repeating anything her own mother used to do to her (along with Orel who'd try to be the best dad to his kids and would ask Christina if he was doing a good job if he was too worried about becoming anything similar to Clay or just anything otherwise) and I'm not quite sure about if whether she kept contact with her parents but she probably would but obviously has a strained relationship with them along with Orel's parents... But she would give her own family all her love :D also she's definitely working in a type of job I forgot which one but something that helps people bc she's sweet like that <3 so yeah girlboss !!

I might've forgotten some things to mention or other things I had in mind for her but yeah!! Or it was badly/worded weird perdón. Thanks for reading 💕

[st-dorothy-minority]

"Hurt" - an emotional, angst-filled Radioapple fic

I greatly hesitate to post this. It is very, very special to me and feels more vulnerable than anything I've written. (And honestly, I may delete it at any point 😩)

I would love it if you could spare a comment if you read this and share your thoughts.

I wasn't going to finish this, but I've been seriously struggling this month myself, and it's one small thing I can contribute for Suic*de Awareness & Prevention month.

Based on the song "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera (please check that out before reading to get the full impact. Imagine the song sung by Charlie https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/christinaaguilera/hurt.html)

Dedicated to @persephoneblck - thank you for your love and support through my struggles ❤️

-----------

“Charlie, I-”

“Just don't! I can't do this anymore! For once, I wish you'd show up when others need you, when I need you!”

“But Charlie-”

“Mom was right. You don't know how to be a husband. You don't know how to be a leader. And you sure as hell don't know how to be a dad! I won't ever ask for anything from you ever again. I don't want you in my life anymore!”

As she turned her back on her father and returned to what remained of the hotel with the other residents, Lucifer felt himself quickly losing composure. Still, he made one last attempt to talk to her by calling out, “I’m proud of you, Charlie!” When she didn’t turn around, he lowered his gaze to the ground and added sorrowfully, “More than you could ever know.”

****

It was a couple hours before Alastor was able to check on his emotionally wrecked lover.

It was no surprise he found Lucifer still in the throes of depressive anguish.

Taking a seat on the floor where Lucifer sat next to the bed, Alastor placed a consoling hand on his back and rubbed it affectionately.

“We both know she didn’t mean what she said,” Alastor assured.

A few tears splashed onto the glass of the picture frame Lucifer held in his hands, which housed a photo of himself and Charlie that Vaggie had taken not long ago.

“She gets into fits of passion, like you, and ends up saying things that aren’t true,” Alastor continued when it was clear Lucifer wasn’t going to respond.

After a minute passed with more silence, Alastor gently pulled the picture away, set it aside, and took Lucifer’s now restless fingers in his hands to hold.

“Luci….No one is perfect. Mistakes happen. Hurt feelings happen. It’s a consequence of the human heart that seems to remain in us demons, including Charlie. She’s still a child with much to learn. You are doing a much better job than you give yourself credit for. Give yourselves some time to be apart for a bit. There is nothing wrong with maintaining some distance for a little while as she cools her head.”

Lucifer sniffled, wiped his eyes, and uttered pitifully, “But she’s right. All of it. I was never there when she needed me. I fucked up with Lilith….I’m a shitty, fucking failure, Alastor.”

“Now I absolutely have to disagree with you about all of that. You are trying. You are learning. You won’t get it right all the time. Let the past be the past with its wrongdoings. She’ll have to learn to do the same.”

Heaving a heavy sigh, Lucifer nodded. “Yeah….I guess you’re right….Thank you.”

“Of course.” He brought Lucifer closer, placed a soft kiss against his temple, and asked, “Care to lie down? You should rest.”

“Not yet. Think I might go take a bath and try to relax.”

“Want me to join you?”

“No, I, um....I think I want to be alone tonight.”

“Are you sure?” “Yeah. Plus, you should go back to check on everyone and help with whatever they need….since she doesn’t want my help….”

“Alright then. I’ll report back tomorrow with how things are and to check on you.”

Placing a finger under Lucifer’s chin, he tilted the devil’s head up to kiss him tenderly. When they pulled away, he was content to see Lucifer smiling.

“I missed that smile,” Alastor purred, causing Lucifer to giggle.

“Funny that you never give me the chance to miss yours.”

“If it’s any consolation, you certainly bear witness to my genuine ones more than any other demon in this Hell.”

“I’ll take that,” Lucifer conceded happily.

Doting one last kiss onto Lucifer’s hand, Alastor took his leave.

****

----Five Years Later----

Clutching her phone tightly in her grasp, Charlie blinked through the tears to find the most precious contact in her list. From the moment she saw the adorable duckie profile pic and the name, the relatively quiet crying became uncontrollable sobbing.

It was approaching mid-evening, and it was tradition to conclude the horribly painful day with a call to the person she missed more than anything. The person she longed to hug again. The person she yearned to see his smiling face again.

The person she owed everything to, the one she wished to apologize over and over again to.

The one who had taken his life because of her.

It was rare that a day passed when Charlie didn’t replay the last exchange she’d had with her father and felt her stomach twist into knots and the guilt consume her from realizing how cruel and heartless her final words to him had been. To have not even acknowledged his final words to her of how proud he was of her.

Attempting to take several deep breaths, she at last touched the screen to call her dad.

She knew he would never answer, yet his voicemail (and the messages he’d left on her phone that she hadn’t deleted) was the only way to hear his voice, even if it was brief and impersonal.

Hello fellow citizen of Hell! You’ve reached the head honcho himself, Lucifer Morningstar. If you aren’t in my contacts, how the fuck did you get my number? If you are, I’ll call you back at some point. If this is Charlie, I’ll get right back to you, sweetie! If this is an emergency, well, I don’t know what to tell you other than you’re probably S.O.L. Still wanna leave a message? Be my guest!

*beep*

“….Hi dad,” Charlie began in a tiny, constricted voice. She paused briefly due to the uneven breaths attacking her, closed her eyes, inhaled deeply as best she could, and tried again. “I um….I miss you….so much. I’m so sorry for what I said and blaming you. I didn’t mean it….I was wrong….so, so wrong…..I wish you were here….I still have so many questions and….I need you….I need you, dad….I was mad, I didn’t mean it….I love you and I just want you back. I want to understand. I love you….”

She was able to end the call before the phone slipped from her hand and she hugged herself as the crushing grief overtook her.

I wish you were here….I need a hug….I’m so sorry….

She felt the presence of her new company before he even sat next to her. On the balcony of the hotel overlooking her inherited kingdom, Alastor joined her on the bench without a word. This had also become their tradition – to share the remainder of the evening together in silence with the only other person who understood more than anyone else how suffocating the loss felt. They each had very different relationships with Lucifer, but the fact remained they each loved him beyond measure.

While Charlie’s regret plagued her in the form of her last words to Lucifer, Alastor’s was rooted in having left him alone that night. If only he’d insisted on staying, denied Lucifer’s request, and remained at his side. The memory of finding the king of Hell submerged in golden-tainted water in the bathtub, his wrists and neck sliced open to the bone by the only weapon in the realm that could mortally wound him, haunted Alastor just as vividly all these years later. He could still recall Charlie’s screams of denial and sorrow when he told her what had happened, remembered how she grabbed onto him as her knees gave out and they held each other for nearly an hour, drowning out everything and everyone around them.

Once Charlie regained her composure for the most part, Alastor eased his arm across her shoulders and drew her closer to rest against him in a loving embrace. His other hand took hers and held it, and they stayed this way for hours.

Eventually, Vaggie came to help Alastor escort Charlie to bed, which Alastor appreciated because he knew Charlie would continue to be cared for during the hardest night of the year.

As for him, it was the one night he returned to Lucifer’s home and laid in the bed he’d shared with the fallen angel. He fetched Lucifer’s favorite over-sized duckie plushie to cuddle with – the one he’d always teased his lover about whenever Lucifer chose to hug it at bedtime – and breathed in deeply. The scent was fading, but it was enough to revitalize the memory.

Letting the tears fall at last, Alastor whispered, “I’m sorry I left you when you needed me most. I love you.”

[nomorefstogive]

Path To Nowhere SFW Headcanons: Chapter 4: Shalom

Hello again everyone, and welcome to the 4th chapter of this fic of ours. We apologize for the rather lengthy delay with this chapter, but life has been rather annoying of late, and we spent a sizable amount of time working on a chapter for our Azur Lane fic…which is the longest thing I have ever written. With life and other projects further hamstringing our efforts to devote as much time to this fic as we wish we could.

Regardless, today we are covering a Sinner that was once again requested by EinarKaslana on Ao3, a woman who has left so much death and despair in her wake it could fill a sea, even if she herself has not lifted a hand to cause it directly.

A woman who, though frail of body, is beyond a doubt one of the greatest chess masters in all of Dis, having managed to deceive Paradeisos, the Underground, and many more in her bid to protect the ones dear to her.

A woman whose moniker will be forever synonymous with dread and terror to those who have made the unfortunate decision of standing in her way, and perhaps even to her own allies given the extremes to which she will go to obtain the most ‘ideal outcome’ to her plans.

Today we feature the Human Machine, the Monster of Paradise, the Hush of Paradeisos-

Shalom

1. She has many times attempted to usurp Nightingale as the chief’s adjutant in an effort to get closer to the Chief, with her efforts ranging from subtle attempts to discredit Nightingale, to outright attempting to have her transferred to a different Agency, though these efforts have all been in vain. 

She has since switched her efforts from removing the Adjutant from play, to making her into an ideal subordinate to aid the Chief and to use as a proxy for her own plans to benefit the Chief, herself, and the rest of the MBCC through a variety of means, some of which have left Nightingale adamant in putting a bullet in the head of whoever is responsible for them.

2. She does not like overly spicy food, something with a little kick is fine, but anything above that is too much for her, a weakness that Coquelic somehow figured out and used against her by lacing one of her meals with a notoriously hot pepper. 

Shalom’s yelp of pain as the spice overwhelmed her, and the way her eyes had begun to water as she downed her entire drink before she asked Rahu to get her another one, is an image that has been immortalized in the halls of The Garden via several covertly taken photos and videos.

That the Garden found its flower garden in the Greenhouse dying barely a week later, in addition to the Chief being unable to get her hands on any additional flower seeds to replace the ones they had lost for several months afterwards was certainly just a coincidence…right?

3. She still has a soft spot for Christina despite past…incidents. And while she desires for Christina to make her own path, she still considers her to be her detective, and as such maintains a careful eye on her.

From keeping track of which cases she is working, the threat they pose to her detective, the people she socializes with, her newest interests, her family’s state of affairs, to the way she decorates her room, and so on, she feels at ease knowing that her detective is safe and sound.

She has made it clear to her detective that she will always be present to offer her help should she need it, granted her help tends to come with the requirement of Chris having to spend time with Shalom while she addresses her as ‘Big Sister Shalom’ during said time and allowing the Hush to call her ‘Little Sister’ as well.

As such she is never able to fight the smile that comes to her face when Christina needs her help, especially when she is able to use the chance to pamper her detective and see how far she has grown while on her own.

4. This was a suggestion that came from EinarKaslana on Ao3, so all credit for it goes to them.

That said, it is a shared headcanon between us that she is fond of photography, and maintains many photo albums throughout her places of residence, with specific people, such as the Chief, Christina, and Rahu, having entire albums devoted to pictures taken of them by the Hush.

That some of them were taken by cameras they were unaware of is neither here nor there to Shalom, and so long as they remain unaware of them, it will be nothing to them either…especially so long as they do not discover the albums that contain more candid pictures of them in various states of undress or in certain…compromising positions.

It is safe to say that those albums are among her most well hidden and well defended of treasures, with even Schorl being unaware of their location.  

5. She has a soft spot for cats and dogs, often leaving out food for them or taking the time to pet and pamper them when she encounters them, as such she was one of the staunchest backers for the MBCC gaining an on site pound/shelter. 

That said, she is also an avid fan of cat cafes having dragged Christina and Rahu to enough that they can reliably name the majority of the cat cafes in Dis off the top of their head, with but a few exceptions for those that have yet to have the Hush grace them. 

She also tends to leave very sizable tips at said cafes, enough that the staff go out of their way to meet her expectations, and that they do not say a word about her gathering enough cats to cover herself and whoever is with her at the time in them.

6. Her room is surprisingly rather homey, with a number of bookshelves lining the walls, only broken up by small tables or wall fixtures with lamps and candles resting on them, an assortment of dark colored furniture, a large amount of flowers, both in pots on tables and hanging from the ceiling, and a rather sizable collection of horror related media. 

She also has a large canopied bed that she has covered in enough pillows that many periodically fall off when anything jostles the bed, and a rather sizable amount of scented candles and incense scattered throughout her room. 

Her main outfit of choice, along with several copies of her favorite coat, is kept in a dresser near her bathroom, while a much larger walk-in closet is dedicated to other uniforms and outfits that she has amassed over the years, though they are a subject for later on.

There is also a room that is hidden within her cell, a result of her machinations and of several deals made to allow her skills to be used to benefit the MBCC, said room being filed with a wall of monitors and terminals, a large number of filing cabinets rigged with incendiary devices that she can activate by tapping a button on her terminal, and a sizable amount of targets for her to focus her skills on.

She can never stop herself from chuckling everytime she enters the room, picturing the look on her former handlers faces were they to become aware that the Hush of Paradeisos, has become the Hush of Minos, granted said role is kept secret from the Chief, but it is the thought that counts…at least to her. 

7. While there are many Sinners and staff within the bureau that adore Shalom, there are equally as many that hold in her both dread and contempt, be it because they know just Who she is, or because they feel that something is not quite right with her, some sixth sense warning them to avert themselves from aligning so closely with her. 

Among those who hold her in disdain are Langley, who has seen enough of the mountain of corpses the Hush has built as an agent of Paradeisos to fully trust her, even with her devotion seemingly to have switched to her rookie.

As a result, the Spider has a special bullet with Shalom’s name written on it for the moment she feels the Hush has become more trouble than she is worth keeping around. 

Another one that holds the Hush in contempt is Chameleon, the hypnotist being able to see through the mask that Shalom wears and finding the thing she glimpses beneath it to be of no small amount of concern, hence her own caution in regards to her.

Her trepidation regarding Shalom was only further cemented by the fact that the one time Chameleon attempted to use her power on Shalom resulted in her awakening in her cell with a migraine, a bloodied nose, and a letter reading- “Please, don’t try that again. I would hate to have to explain your loss to the Chief. Sincerely-Shalom”

Of course there is also the Garden and their own wariness of the woman to consider as well, as, while they do admit her actions allowed for them to escape the clutches of the Underground, her methods…have done their perception of her no favors.

Though they can agree with her desire to support the Chief and to safeguard their new home, it does nothing to keep them from having their eyes on her, and a blade marked with her name on it should she overstep her bounds. 

While there are many more who feel wariness of the former Hush of Paradeisos, perhaps rivaled but by that of the former leader of Rustifre is that of her own former protegee and pseudo sister, Chirstina. 

Having seen first hand just how ruthless her mentor can be, along with having gotten a glimpse as to the true nature of her work for Paradeisos, she has since found that while she yet has a fondness for Shalom, she can never feel as at ease in her presence as she once did due to what she has done, something which is bittersweet to Shalom.

8. She is one of a very select few to have actually beaten Eirene at both normal chess, and a specialized version of it designed by the Head Of Quinn, with her version of chess being something which involves multiple chess boards linked to a rotating table, where the players are playing multiple games simultaneously with but a few moments to make each decision and move. 

Said game lasted nearly 12 hours, and ended with Shalom claiming a resounding victory with but minimal losses upon the other boards, a feat which has since earned her no small amount of fame within the bureau, even from her detractors, and a standing offer to play chess with Eirene whenever she wishes to. 

9. While she is physically frail, especially for an S-Rank Sinner, she is still heads and shoulders above an average person in terms of speed, strength, and endurance, being as able of breaking bones with a punch as she is ruining someone's life with a few well placed whispers. 

That said, she is surprisingly somewhat unaware of the extent of this strength, especially given that she is severely lacking in training for CQC and the usage of firearms and other weaponry, given her preference for remaining on the backlines and using the overwhelming might of Schorl to contend with any foe that gets in her way, and has thus not really had any reason to use it. 

Yet even without training, she is still a capable threat should someone get in close, something which has lead to several sinners and staff seeing the surreal scene of her casually flinging a corruptor, that had somehow bypassed Schorl’s scanners, three times her size against a wall before it was vaporized by the aforementioned Paradeisian weapon.

10. She has gained a habit of messing with Schorl by putting stickers and such on it, something which the machine does not seem to enjoy given how it will try and find any way it can to remove the stickers or markings from itself the moment they are applied. 

Shalom even once went so far as to write on the Paradeisian device with a pink marker, using it as a means of reminding herself of an appointment she had with Dr. Iron and Nurse Anne regarding her health, with the machine actually allowing the message to be written and to remain…at least until after her appointment, at which point it bore a hole through a water pipe and used it to wash itself off. 

Similarly, she once brought up the idea of coloring the Schorl, with the machine and its operators adamantly rejecting the very concept of the idea, going so far as to destroy the can of paint and paint brush that she had purchased to do so before they scurried off.

11. She cannot drive. This is one of the few points of agreement the Chief and Paradeisos have ever been able to reach as Shalom’s driving can lead to no small amount of damage to the vehicle she is behind the wheel of, along with the sanity and health of her passengers. 

The last time she attempted to drive she managed to make it a quarter of the way to her destination before Rahu and Christina, both of whom were holding on to one another for dear life, managed to convince her to switch with Rahu while Christina and Schorl spoke with the sherrifs regarding the collateral damage.

They were less than 3 minutes into what should have been a 9 minute long drive at the time.

12. She is fond of dropping by the Chief’s office and helping them with their work whenever the opportunity presents itself, something which has greatly endeared her to the Chief, and, albeit begrudgingly, Nightingale. 

That she tends to leave each of these sessions wondering just how it is that the Bureau has not imploded in on itself or declared secession from Dis in some fit of mad lunacy, is something that tends to add some enjoyment to her day by trying to make sense of the insanity of the MBCC. 

She has even gone so far as to compile many of the more interesting stories and reports into a personal collection to browse for her own entertainment whenever she feels the need for some levity. 

To this day, one of her favorites remains the time that Emp managed to weave so elaborate a lie that it resulted in the FAC spending nearly 4 days investigating a ‘Duck Sinner’ that was responsible for the destruction of a power plant, with the Archer even managing to, albeit unknowingly, have Paradaisos waste several days investigating the same claim when it was relayed to them. 

The true culprit of the Power Plant overloading was of course, EMP herself, though Shalom vowed to take that secret to her grave in exchange for the amount of humor her lie gave her.

13. Rahu once attempted to teach her how to use a conventional weapon for self defense, in the event that Schorl was destroyed or disabled and she was not present, only for the attempt to end with Christina having to get her hat repaired courtesy of the bullet ricocheting off of the target, off of the ground between Rahu’s feet, the ceiling above them, the railing of the shooting range, and then into the top of Christina’s hat. 

That Langley had the audacity to not only laugh when she heard the report, but to then order Shalom not be allowed to touch any firearms in the Bureau has since been something of a sore spot for the Hush, especially since both Christina and Rahu aid the Spider in enforcing such a rule. 

14. While her fondness for the horror genre of film has long been a well established trend in the bureau, with her appreciation for it in literature and art being similarly well known, her fondness for horror games is a relatively new obsession of hers. 

Most of this fondness for the horror genre of gaming can be laid at the feet of Etti, who Shalom overheard running a horror themed tabletop session, EMP, who introduced her to horror anime as repayment for lending her a movie, and Nino, who she watched stream a horror game that caught her fascination. 

Since then, she has devoured many horror games in terms of both playing them and watching them, with some of the games being of such disturbing levels that even Schorl was driven to escape the room to avoid the more disturbing scenes and gameplay. 

That her new fascination has started a trend among the ones in charge of monitoring her via Schorl using the media she enjoys as a form of Test Of Courage, is something she is aware of enough to greatly enjoy. 

With her fondness later extending to Tabletop games and the potential for horror and suspenseful storytelling within them as she learned of many of the horror campaigns that had been run by other DMs.

This being something that led to her approaching Etti to request her guidance on the matter, with Etti agreeing to help her DM a horror themed session, the young dragon all too happy to help a fledgling DM in the art of destro-*Ahem* creating an enjoyable session for everyone with minimal tears and screams involved.

That said session she ran resulted in Horo hiding under Zoya’s bed, Christina hiding with Thistle in a closet, Hella and Ninety-Nine refusing to leave their room without ear plugs on as they cursed her to hell and back, was something that lead to Etti declaring Shalom to be her new apprentice in the art of DMing.

The sheer panic that announcement caused nearly brought the Bureau to its knees.

15. Upon learning of Cabernet’s ability to materialize and consume souls, Shalom sought her out with a rather curious request, as she wished for the Franc Heiress to materialize a piece of Shalom’s own soul so that she could taste it out of her own curiosity. 

After a rather lengthy debate with the Chief, and several tablets of aspirin, it was decided to allow the experiment of sorts to take place, with Cabernet materializing 2 pieces of Shalom’s soul as a pair of grapes, one being given to the Hush and the other being kept by the Glutton of Souls herself. 

Cabernet would later remark that the taste was bizarre, as at first there appeared to be no flavor at all to her grape, only for her to be suddenly hit with an overwhelming bombardment of taste to such an extent she was nearly ill, the heiress later remarking to the Chief that beyond all of the myriad flavors there was something else…a feeling that was unnamable to her, yet left her feeling uneasy for many days afterwards.

Shalom would claim that she enjoyed the  taste of the grape as well, though the true joy of the experience seemed to be an idea that had come to her as she would later approach the Glutton with an offer that she would request be kept between the two of them.

What was that offer? 

Perhaps it is better off unknown if the way the Franc Heiress refused to leave her room for several days afterwards was anything to go by, and it is likely better still to not question why it is she seems to make a weekly tribute of a grape to the Hush, one that could not possibly have been made with Shalom’s own soul.

Indeed, it is better not to question what was said between the two.

16. She is still in regular contact with, and financially supporting, her former maid from her time at Erica Villa, Rosa. 

The young woman having managed to somehow earn the fondness of the former Hush to such an extent that she has been working quite tirelessly to convince the Chief to allow for her to be employed at the Bureau, her main argument being that she could be of great help as part of any of the departments that need her…along with being another at least semi-sane and responsible person to help keep the MBCC in…relatively stable condition. 

With each day she makes the argument to the Chief she wears her down more and more until she will be able to have her maid back at her side, and once more enjoy teaming up with her to make Rahu, and soon the Chief, as flustered as possible with their shared teasing. 

17. She is not allowed any form of caffeine, a rule Paradeisos ‘forgot’ to inform the Chief of when Shalom was sent to the Bureau, with Rahu and Christina thinking the Hush herself or Schorl would have informed the Chief of this rule…only to learn that was not the case.

Indeed, the Chief learned of this rule when someone, she is willing to bet her life that it was either Hella or EMP, saw that the former Hush looked tired and offered her some of Summer’s Special Brew Coffee. 

What happened next is something known but to those who were there that day and who managed to gain access to the security footage, something which was soon locked behind the highest grade of confidentiality that Paradeisos could create, with the files being further encrypted by Summer and Langley as well. 

Any attempts at acquiring an answer from those who witnessed what happened that day would be met with nothing but a thousand-mile stare, with several others whimpering and curling into the fetal position or turning and fleeing as swiftly as they can, with none daring to vocalize just what happened that day. 

All anyone knows is that a substantial portion of the bureau needed repair done to it, several officials that had been adamantly against the Chief and the MBCC had to resign from their positions in disgrace once certain information regarding them was leaked, along with a rather sizable amount of collateral damage being done to several major roadways and side streets. 

Schorl has since been given permission to destroy any source of caffeine Shalom manages to get her hands on.

18. She has been utilizing her abilities to commune with the Mania Monster made of her discarded humanity known as Rebel in a bid to earn its compliance and to be assemble to utilize it to its fullest one day, her primary reason for doing so being something of an emergency measure should Paradeisos attempt to remove her from play along with having an emergency ace in the hole for rainy days. 

That it could be an additional tool for the Chief and a means of further defending her should anything befall the Hush, the monster having long made clear its own deep seated adoration for the Chief to her during their…’Conversations’, is but yet another lie she has come to tell herself. 

That she also wants to reconnect with her lost humanity and to try and bond with it is something she has tried time and again to deny even to herself, yet as time has gone by, and her emotions have begun to return to her, she has found it increasingly hard to deny her true reason for wishing to do so.

The truth of the matter…is that all of this is being driven by Her ability to feel the loneliness of that missing part of herself and her desire to end it and fill the gaping wound torn in her own soul all those years ago by Paradeisos. 

All she truly wants is to feel whole again. 

19. She has an odd relationship with Hecate, somewhere between an almost sisterly bond and that of a mentor, with the former Hush often volunteering to accompany the younger sinner into the field to act as a mentor to her, that she still unconsciously tries to protect her is something neither will directly mention to one another. 

The pair have likewise somewhat exchanged hobbies with Shalom managing to get Hecate interested in the horror genre, while Hecate has managed to convince Shalom to take up sketching and, to a lesser degree, painting as a hobby, something the Hush has taken the somewhat relaxed leash and observation she is under during her stay in the bureau to thoroughly enjoy.  

That most of her works feature the Chief, several even having her in a state of undress or in various…compromising positions, is something that only the Hush and Hecate, who happened to mistake her sketchbook for an empty one, knows of. 

It is safe to say the following exchange was quite awkward for the pair, though they were eventually able to work past it and continue their regular sessions of shared artistic endeavor…with the addition of a rather bright tag to mark which sketchbook is Shalom’s. 

In a similar vein, Shalom has taken a rather sizable amount of time in teaching Hecate how to think strategically and to plan for various scenarios, with the young Sinner having shown a marked improvement in her Dispatches as result of the tutoring, that the Chief saw fit to praise Shalom was simply a bit of icing on the cake to her. 

That said, many Sinner feel no small amount of unease at the idea of the Hush having taken the Chief’s Shadow under her wing, especially given the uncanny similarities the pair seem to share, the only comfort most have been able to find in the matter being their shared loyalty to the Chief. 

Though even so, most fear the idea of just what Hecate could become if Shalom is allowed to mold her enough, thus all of those within the Bureau tend to keep an eye on the pair whenever they are together and they can. 

20. She has mapped out the vast majority of the secret tunnels that span the Bureau, particularly all of the ones that lead to the kitchens and to the Chief’s room, with her making use of them to not only be able to sneak away to the kitchen for late night snacks or when she needs a drink during her work, with her also using the tunnels to deliver snacks to the Chief and to surprise her when she is working. 

She also makes use of them to avoid certain parties and to surprise others, with her usage of them having gotten to the point that a not so small number of Sinners and staff are of the opinion that she is in possession of some form of teleportation device. 

That Shalom seems to find some humor in these rumors and even tends to encourage them through her own actions and inactions has likewise led to no small amount of confusion and unease among the Sinner population due to the potential threat she could pose with such a device. 

The Chief has tried time and again to dispel these rumors, only for them to constantly re-emerge after enough time has passed, something which has led to the Chief and the rest of the administration staff of the Bureau nearing the end of their rope in regards to how to handle the spreading rumors, with Paradeisos offering no help on the matter. 

21. She has found something of a way to utilize her “Mark” in tandem with the Chief’s Shackles, a method of piggybacking off of the Shackles and utilizing her ability in a way that makes it considerably less obvious towards both the recipient of the ‘Mark’ and the Chief herself that one is under the Hush’s influence. 

Even with this loophole removing her need for direct eye contact with her targets among the Sinners, it still requires for the targets to be in a heightened emotional state, and for the Chief to not be aware of her actions due to her ability to sense the influence through the Shackles and throttle it before it truly spreads. 

The knowledge of this influencing power is strictly confidential so as to prevent any panic from spreading among the Sinners, especially among those who have prior experience with the Hush and her power., with the Chief having further heightened her security around the Hush, despite her claims of only wishing to use her power to aid the Chief.

That said, the loophole has a further weakness in that Sinners of strong enough will, or those who are particularly Contaminated, such as Nox, Dreya, and so on, can not only resist the influence of the Mark through this loophole, but can also somewhat retaliate against it, causing Shalom a sizable amount of pain when they do so, Nox’s own retaliation leading to her having a severe nosebleed and being near catatonic for several hours. 

The final weakness of this ability is that she requires time to focus on the Shackles, and the slightest of disturbances can interrupt her ability, with contact with the chief being an additional means of furthering her power’s stability, though since this loophole came to her awareness she has made certain to be on her guard around her the vast majority of the time. 

A final note is that by some means she has been able to keep this development secret from Paradeisos, using it as yet another tool in whatever schemes of rebellion she harbors against the organization. 

22. She has given Thistle the equivalent to ‘The Shovel Talk’, with the exception of her talk involving her simply sitting in silence for a while as she looked Thistle in the eye, smiling as a triangle Mark flared in her eye as an unspoken warning of what awaits the assassin if anything befalls Christina. 

Thistle’s reply simply being to lift up her sword and set it alight with her own silent vow, that should any of the Hush’s schemes cause harm to the detective, she would not live long enough to enjoy whatever form of victory she managed to achieve. 

That the Hush has the audacity to smile at her actions a low chuckle slipping past her lips as she finished her tea before rising and walking past the assassin, pausing but to ruffle Thistle’s hair with an amused glint in her eyes as she left the assassin, only caused her to further despise the woman even if they could agree on protecting Christina.

That Thistle collapsed back into her chair as she fought to control her heart beat and suppress the adrenaline tearing through her body after Shalom had left the room, is something that she will deny ever happened that day.

23. She has met Christina’s step sister several times, each time ending in her being chased out of the house courtesy of the wheelchair bound girl either throwing objects at her or swatting at her with something as she tells her to stay away from Christina. 

That said, she has not stopped her attempts at somewhat courting the young woman’s favor, having arranged for, and personally done, many things to make life easier for the young woman, such as aiding in her finding a stable source of income from home, and ensuring that she and Christina are able to visit whenever they wish. 

Even with all that she has done however, the young woman still does not trust her, and does her best to try and mitigate any influence Shalom has over her, that said, she does appreciate Shalom’s efforts and has at least allowed for them to chat for more than 30 minutes before she starts chasing her out of her home.

24. While Shalom can be said to have a rather refined palate, she does also have a taste for more simple foods as well, especially given that Paradeisos did not allow her to indulge in them before due to her needing to maintain an image as their Envoy and their close monitoring of her. 

As a result of this, and the somewhat increased freedom she has at the Bureau, she has gained the habit of searching for small hole in the wall restaurants and such to dine at with the Chief, Rahu, or Christina, with her having gained a reputation as an exceptionally generous patron. 

More than once, Rahu has been caught off guard by seeing staff greet the former Hush by name and show her to her favored seat in the establishment, one time of note involving a rather portly chef who was easily double Rahu’s own size and weight leaving the kitchen to greet Shalom with an embrace as he sat her down and spoke with her for a little bit before going to cook her meal. 

She has even tried some of the more exotic foods brought back by Wolverine from his hunts, such as the meat of Sand Worms, which she claims has an oddly gamey flavor to it that is not that unpleasant, and a form of lizard that she actually quite liked the taste of, much to everyone’s shock. 

That said, she did refuse to even look at the scorpions and other multi-legged insectoid like creatures the Hunter caught, due in part to a reason that will be touched on below. 

25. She has a case of Arachnophobioa, something even the Hush experiment could never fully remove from her, with her gradually returning emotions having only amplified her fear of Spider or rather anything with over 2 or 4 legs.

The Chief first learned of this phobia when an insectoid Corruptor, resembling a mutated spider/human hybrid, appeared and Shalom froze for several seconds, only for her to snap out of her panic and have Schorl turn the surrounding area into enough glass that the sunlight reflecting off of it could have blinded someone. 

Despite the best efforts of both the Chief and Shalom to keep such information confidential, it somehow managed to leak to both Langley and the Garden, with the pair forming a somewhat un-official alliance to use this newly discovered weakness to get a bit of revenge on the Hush. 

Rahu very much did not appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night by a rather frantic Shalom calling her and telling her that she needed her to come rescue her, that Paradeisos sent a message that, in a rather deadpan way said Shalom did indeed require her aid but that it was not urgent, only furthered her confusion.

Rahu would arrive with the Chief to see Shalom having barricaded herself within a dresser as Schorl hovered nearby, a rather large assortment and variety of non-lethal spiders having taken lordship over her room, with sizes ranging from small to far too large for comfort for most people…particularly the Chief who bolted into the dresser with Shalom, leaving Rahu to deal with the eight-legged invaders.

She had the damndest feeling that Schorl was laughing at her, the machine having not been of any aid due to the risk of damaging the prison should it start to utilize its weaponry on the perfidious vermin…she was certain it was also because whoever was monitoring the situation was getting a kick out of it, but she held her tongue.

It would take several hours, many spider bites, a lot of cursing, and several questionable sounds from the dresser, before at last Rahu claimed her final victory over the spider invasion, the only clue she needed to know who was responsible being a lone flower she found resting outside of the Hush’s room when she was finished.

A bright yellow tulip that seemed to be laughing at her weary form.

She felt no small delight in crushing it under her boot, and her joy only grew when she aided Shalom in her own retaliation on the Garden and Langley, said retaliation taking the form of causing a sizable influx of paperwork for Langley and the 9th as a whole, such that they did not leave their offices for almost a whole week, while the Garden found themselves invaded by a large amount of bees and ants, which would take several weeks to full eradicate. 

In the end the groups involved called a cease fire to this chapter of their feud when the Chief tired of the chaos they were causing, interfered and threatened to avoid spending any time with them if they continued, the potential of the undesirable outcome causing a lull in their feud…at least until something else set it off once more. 

26. That her and Langley have a somewhat…contentious relationship, is rather well known, though the exact reasons are not. 

A part of it is something that is largely due to their differing approach on not only how they handle their work, but also in regards to how they view the actions each other have taken during their respective careers. 

In terms of their work, Langley dislikes how little Shalom shares in regards to any matter she assigns the 9th, many times she has kept the vast majority of information and secrets that could lead to an easier time completing the missions close to her chest, leading to Langley losing many valuable subordinates. 

On the opposing hand, Shalom dislikes how open Langley is with her subordinates in terms of sharing information and formulating plans, believing that by entrusting the information to said subordinates the Spider is putting herself and the operations at risk, a fact Paradeisos has agreed with many times, much to her silent disgust, thus leading to her keeping the aforementioned information largely close to her chest for fear of it being compromised. 

In terms of how they view their actions, it boils down to how they justify what they have done, both of them accept that they have committed, and will continue to commit, horrific deeds in the name of a greater purpose, but whereas Langley claims hers is for the good of all of Dis, Shalom admits that everything she has done was in the name of Paradeisos and their own agenda, with many others being done for her own and the Chief’s benefit later on. 

That Shalom readily admits the fault of her actions does not make them any better in Langley’s eyes, especially given how many of her men and women have been caught in the middle of the schemes of the Hush and Paradeisos and either killed or maimed to the point of no longer being able to operate in the field. 

Her anger is only further stoked as, instead of attempting to change her methods and approach as she has regained her emotions and has gained the Chief’s aid, Shalom largely chooses to keep utilizing methods that are either similar to, or almost identical to, her original methods of achieving her goals, with the few moments she takes a different approach only further infuriating Langley as it proves that, while difficult to the extreme, she can change her methods but seems to not want to. 

On the other hand, Shalom views Langley as being somewhat too self righteous, convinced that she and her Agency are always working for the best of Dis, bending and often breaking the laws of the very city they protect, along with Paradeisos’ own rules, which has lead to no shortage of headaches for her. 

In that same vein, Shalom believes that Langley can be far too gentle in her approach to how she handles certain matters, along with allowing for her fondness for her subordinates to interfere with her decision making process, something that Langley has argued is not the case many times. 

However, having said all of that, the pair are still able to work together remarkably well given the correct circumstances, from a major threat to Dis, to something choosing to target their Chief, these moments displaying just how formidable they could truly be, if they could ever bury the hatchet between them.

Though such a thing seems like it will take a miracle to occur. 

27. The first time she met Oak Casket in person, the Lady of the Romanesque hall approached her and Rahu as they were walking down a hallway, with her stopping in front of them as she looked Shalom in the eye and told her that she could at last put a face to the name so many spirits had cursed to the depths of hell and beyond as they found their way to her. 

She would further claim that even now, within the halls of the Bureau, the spirits of countless maniacs clung to Shalom like a shroud, with her likening her approach to that of a storm front, the wailing and crying of the maniacs being the wind, the rain being their unseen and unfelt tears, and their furious shouting the deafening roar of thunder. 

While Rahu reacted with unease and prepared for conflict, Schorl similarly readying for battle, Oak Casket merely strode forward, uncaring of them, and walked past them, pausing but to say that if she was ever curious what their final words and thoughts were, she could ask the Chief where to find her.

She was not surprised when, several days later, Shalom arrived at her doorstep, the Hush vanishing into the Funeral Parlor director’s room, where she would remain for nearly the rest of the day until she left later on, finding Rahu and Schorl waiting for her at the door. 

Shalom was silent and seemingly in deep contemplation for the rest of the day, with her only requesting that Rahu remain with her the rest of the night, with her responding to any of Rahu’s question with silence, Schorl, that had been eavesdropping into the room, surprisingly held its own tongue…perhaps owing to the sounds that had left its operator in a cold sweat that it had heard from said room. 

It was that day that an odd…bond of sorts formed between the Lady of Romanesque and the Hush, the pair coming to spend time together discussing matters that left those who overheard them more than a little uneasy as they fled the talking pair.

28. She has a much higher alcohol tolerance than one would suspect on their first look of her, with Shalom easily being able to out drink most ordinary people and Sinners alike, with only the more heavy drinkers such as Zoya, Pacassi (When the mood strikes her), Demon (Again, when the mood strikes him), and Bai-Yi, being able to reliably out drink her. 

That said, when she does manage to drink too much it is not readily apparent, she has long since mastered the art of hiding any visible signs of intoxication, even the subtle signs are held tight under her grip, with the only reliable sign that has been found being how clingy she becomes around those she feels safe around when she is intoxicated. 

At a rather low level of intoxication she would prefer to brush herself against them, with a mid level being characterized by her latching on to their arm or holding their hand, and at a severe level of intoxication she will have them put their arm around her, and latch onto their side as she nuzzles into them. 

The problem comes with her not wanting to let go of the one she has latched on to, with Rahu and the Chief having found themselves being pinned to a bed, chair, or any other piece of furniture that can support them by the drunken Hush as she falls asleep atop them, Christina having been spared the fate due to Shalom trying to maintain an image of a reliable older sister around her. 

Though, the Chief and Rahu are not alone in having to deal with an intoxicated Hush, as at one point the Chief was informed that she was required in the Garden’s group dorm by a somewhat baffled looking Sumire. 

Upon arriving in the dorm, she was met with the sight of the Sinners of the Garden looking on in dumbfounded shock as their Mentor was pinned to her bed by Shalom, the Poppy of the Garden shooting a dumbfounded look at the Chief as she approached, with her heaving a sigh as she began the process of trying to get the intoxicated Hush off of a flustered Coquelic. 

Only to be pulled down and pinned by her as well, with the Flowers either chuckling silently at the scene of the Mentor scolding the Chief for getting both of them pinned, or trying to find a way to get them out of their situation. 

Eventually, after much trial and error, they decided to utilize the most tried and true method of dealing with a drunken Shalom. 

They called Rahu and Christina. 

The pair arrived and, with a somewhat ashamed look on Christina’s face and an exasperated look on Rahu’s own face, managed to pry her off of the Chief and Coquelic before they carried her away to her room.

As for why Shalom was drunk that day, they would later learn that she had been having a conversation with Oak Casket as they drank what they had both assumed was a wine with a low alcohol content.

It did not, in fact, have a low alcohol content.

Where they got the wine, no one could ever figure out, though Nightingale and the Chief had a sneaking suspicion that it involved a certain supply office manager, who had taken a couple of days off to allow for the heat to di-*Ahem* to recuperate from a head cold. 

29. While everyone is aware that Shalom has a vast collection of records, most are unaware of just how many records she actually owns, with her having not only several storage racks filled with them, but also a storage unit full of containers filled with duplicated of the ones in her room, the transferal of it from the surface unit to the Bureau was…an adventure in its own right.

Despite this frankly absurd number of records, Shalom has listened to each of them,and can even recite which songs are on each of them just by glancing at the abbreviated designation she has marked each of them with.

In addition to records for her vinyl player, she also owns a large number of cassettes, disks, and even digital copies of each of the songs she has on her records should something happen to them. 

She also attends concerts and live performances whenever she gets the chance, typically draggin Christina, Rahu, and or the Chief along with her to the performance in question, though she has also extended an invitation to a rather dumbfounded Coquelic as well, the Garden’s Mentor has yet to give her a reply to the offer.

30.  It is rather well known that she has something of an…odd relationship with the Mentor of the Garden, the pair able to go from amicably drinking tea together, to Coquelic attempting to throttle Shalom as the Hush smiles at her. 

On one hand, Coquelic does appreciate how Shalom’s little scheme allowed her flowers and her to slip free from the Underground and to find a new home, but at the same time she is…decidedly less than pleased with the method that Shalom aided them, as well as how unapologetic she has been for the pain it caused her Flowers. 

On the other hand, Shalom has a rather sizable amount of respect for not only the sheer power and skill that Coquelic possess, but also how she was able to wrest control of not only her own fate, but the collective fates of the rest of the Garden as well, an act which has earned her no small amount of admiration and, to an extent, envy from the dread Hush. 

The pair have shown that, despite the occasional acts of hostility, they are more than able to have a working relationship between them, with the pair having come to work together to deal with any threat against the Chief or their makeshift home…that their methods are not what the Chief would approve of is simply a sacrifice they have deemed necessary to make for the greater good of her safety. 

By combining the Garden’s, the 9th Agency’s, and Shalom’s own resources, along with the occasional input from various other Sinners, they have been able to locate and remove many potential threats before they could take any form of action against the Chief or the Bureau, the majority of said threats vanishing without being seen again, while others suffer a myriad of…‘accidents’ that can not be traced back to any of the involved parties. 

The sheer efficiency with which they are able to operate is further proof of just how terrifying a force they are capable of becoming when they are not at each other’s throats, making it a rather sad thing that it only seems to happen under such…morbid circumstances. 

Or whenever the Chief sits them down and forces them to work together so she can get some peace and quiet.

31. While Shalom can claim to be a woman of many talents, one talent that has always evaded her, outside of driving, is the art of ice skating, something that she has tried time and again to remedy to…very little success. 

Her multiple attempts at learning the art have led to her having to either visit the medical wing for treatment for bruising, or to go to her room and spend a while laying down as she recovers from the aches caused by several falls to the ice. 

Many times she has managed to convince the Chief or Rahu to assist her in the matter, Christina having long given up on the matter and declared it a hopeless endeavor, with the pair rapidly approaching agreeing with her, especially given how many times she has dragged them down with her.

That many of those falls have led to them being in compromising positions is something Shalom claims no responsibility for, something that the Chief and Rahu are uncertain of the validity of, due in no small part to how Shalom is always smiling and wearing a faint blush during these incidents. 

32. She has an odd relationship with Summer, with Shalom having subtly leaked several pieces of Paradeisos technology and information to the genius sinner as a means of allowing for the Bureau to gain a leg up on Paradeisos and to develop their own Anti-Mania technology, something which Summer has been making many breakthroughs with, the rapid growth being explained as her having a bout of inspiration and her general eccentric nature. 

The only request she has had for Summer is for her to find a way to either replicate, or to take control of, the Schorl that is constantly with her, an additional caveat being that she wants it to speak in the Chief or Rahu’s voice when relaying information to her, something which Summer is treating as an additional challenge.

As for how she managed to make the notoriously eccentric genius work with her, that can be chalked up to a rather sizable amount of expensive chocolate, anime (that a curious Shalom has been coerced into watching with Summer), manga, and many other treats, the promise being that so long as she makes progress, Summer will continue to receive these care packages. 

On one hand, the Chief is rather cross with Shalom for going behind her back on this matter, but on the other hand, Summer has made a rather sizable amount of progress with aid from Eureka, Vanilla, and Dreya, and she has been on much better behavior since the arrangement began. 

With the addition of the Bureau not having to pay for any of this, the Chief has begrudgingly allowed for the deal to continue, under the stipulation that it be closely monitored to insure that nothing goes wrong.

33. She has a rather sizable amount of wealth to her disposal, enough to be in the upper elite of Dis, due in no small part to large amounts of passive income that come from her many investments in wealthy companies, along with her running several shell corporations from the shadow as a means of further supplementing the rather generous amount of wealth Paradeisos has allowed her to draw from. 

A rather large amount of this wealth is pooled into accounts for Rosa, Christina, the Chief, Rahu, and rather surprisingly Coquelic and Langley, with everything being arranged for them to receive access to these accounts should she die.

Rosa, Christina, the Chief, and Rahu, would be set to receive a rather sizable amount of wealth to their name, as well as controlling shares in the companies she has founded, along with control of her investments.

Coquelic’s account is different as it contains a mixture of money, as payment for a final contract, which is also included in an email set to be sent should she die, and a rather large amount of rare and exotic flower seeds.   

Langley’s would not just include a rather large amount of money, but also several flash drives and files filled with all of the information that she has amassed over her rather lengthy stay within Paradeisos, similar files and drives being placed within Rahu, Christina, Coquelic, and the Chief’s own vaults as well, with the hope being that they would finish what she started when she dies.

She has also included several cans of bug spray, particularly designed to kill spiders, and a guide on how to make better tasting coffee within Langley’s vault, with Christina’s containing a sizable amount of novels and aids for her work, with Rahu, Rosa, and the Chief having similar personal gifts awaiting them as well. 

She has also left behind a single bank account for Paradeisos themselves to access, with a flash drive loaded with enough Trojan Horse viruses to fry the servers of a third of Dis, all carefully concealed behind what amounts to her final report to her superiors. 

34. She owns a variety of outfits that she has never quite had the time or reason to try on, ranging from casual everyday wear, to business attire, to formal party attire, alongside other things that one would not normally consider her one to possess, such as maid outfits and lingerie. 

After she came to take up residence in the Bureau, she began to form a habit of trying on each of these unused outfits, or convincing one of those she is close with to model them for her, as she uses them as a dress up doll. 

An example of which was Rahu, who found herself the center of an impromptu fashion show that started with her in a rather formal suit, it was a bit too tight but otherwise quite comfortable…though Shalom and the Chief spent a rather absurd amount of time looking at her before she was bid to try on the next outfit…a maid outfit that was much too tight and small that had her glaring daggers at a blushing Chief and Shalom. 

Granted, the Chief was not exempt from becoming a part of the show, though she found herself with much more…lascivious clothing placed into her arms courtesy of Shalom, who had an oddly hungry gleam to her eyes as she watched the Chief vanish within a side room to don her new attire. 

After seeing her walk out, clad in a much more revealing maid outfit, which was quite the achievement given how the one she had worn looked on her, Rahu felt no small amount of sympathy for the woman, something that soon became pity as she saw the rest of the clothes that Shalom had in mind for her to wear. 

From an admittedly rather tasteful cocktail dress, though none of them could get the zipper to go up all the way, to a uniform resembling what a school teacher would wear, and even a copy of what the Hush usually wore with colors suited to compliment the Chief, something Rahu also found herself trying on…though it was several sizes too small for her. 

Of course, Shalom also joined in, the scene of her wearing a Sailor Scout uniform from an anime that Summer had shown her, left both Rahu and the Chief gaping as they tried to process the sight in front of them, yet little time had they to acclimate to the scene before another blow to their mental state came when Shalom, after spending close to 30 minutes within the closet, entered her room clad in a school girl uniform of all things.

It took approximately several long minutes for the Chief and Rahu to process what they were seeing, with the pair blushing heavily as Shalom smiled to herself at their reaction, knowing fully well that she had many more things to show them.

It is safe to say that both of them needed to take a very lengthy, and very cold shower when they fled to their respective rooms amidst Shalom’s quiet chuckling. 

35. She has joined several other Sinners in keeping an eye on the chief and making sure she does not overwork herself too much, with her method of getting her to stop being to simply walk into the office, grab her by the wrist, and pull her away from her computer and off to either of their rooms.

When that does not work, she will resort to decidedly more underhanded methods, such as slipping into the office via one of the hidden passages, putting her hands over her eyes and telling her that it is time to go to sleep as she waits for her to surrender.

Another option is to utilize the most tried and true method, that being the NHH method, which involves sicking either Nightingale or Hecate and Hella on the Chief, with said method ending in her either being drug out of her office by the Adjutant, often still in her chair, or being bullied into going to sleep by Hecate’s pleading and Hella’s cursing as she chews her out. 

But should all of the above fail, should all seem lost in this endeavor, then Shalom has perfected a final tired and true method of forcing the Chief to relax, one that, during her first attempt almost ended with her becoming a head shorter courtesy of a rather infuriated Sumire. 

The method in question? 

Step 1: Walk into the office. Utilizing passages is not necessary as the sound of approaching heels clicking on the floor and knocking on the door adds a valuable psychological factor to the approach.

Step 2: Do not respond to any of the Chief’s questions, merely meet her gaze with a smile and walk towards her, navigate around her desk and push her back towards the wall behind her. 

Step 3: Utilize greater than average strength to force her to remain in the chair by pinning her to ii, typically done by straddling her lap. 

Step 4: Lean in close to her ear and begin to hum a lullaby as you stroke her hair, and rub her upper back, certain fragrance perfumes also assist in this method, particularly ones including lavender. 

Step 5: Wait for her to give in and then wheel her out of the office and towards her room. 

So far this method boasts the 2nd highest success rate out of her other methods of coercing the Chief into resting, the highest being the NHH method, though other Sinners boast of having more successful ones…granted one of them involves rendering her unconscious and another involves paralyzing her, but they still work, thus the Hsush shall not stop until she perfects a method of getting the Chief to cease overworking herself.

Her current approach being to simply insure that there is no reason for her to overwork herself, with her providing aid on matters that would otherwise take up too much of the Chief’s time, though the Chief is yet hesitant to fully trust her with much of her work, she has so far allowed for the help. 

Only time will tell if this method works though. 

36. She has a curiosity regarding the various other nations that exist beyond the walls of Dis, something that has led to her gathering as much information and memorabilia from those nations that she is capable of. 

She regularly searches out any of the Sinners from foreign lands to speak with regarding their former homes, such as Pacassi and her long vanished hometown, Eirene and Fraser, KawaKawa and Stargazer for WhiteSands, or OwO and Goldion Ville.

It has become a small dream of hers to one day visit the lands beyond the walls of Dis and see what the world is like outside of the reach of Paradeisos and herself, though she does not want to go alone, so she has decided that she will try and take Rosa, Rahu, Christina (and of course where christina goes, Thistle goes.), and or the Chief with her come the chance to slip away.

But for now she will settle with enjoying what trinkets and information she can from those distant lands. She is particularly fond of the chess set that Eirene had brought over from her home city and the paper lantern that OwO made for her. 

37. Similar to Langley, she has many times made use of the skills of the Phantom Thief pair of Priscilla and Tetra, though she has never directly spoken to them, instead utilizing multiple online accounts and middle-men to hire them. 

The pair have long since ceased attempting to investigate just who it is that is behind all of the jobs that Shalom has given them, their previous attempts having ended with the pair finding a flash drive tucked into a drawer that contained their…toys, during a rather passionate moment.

Their session of intimacy being cast aside as they investigated what was on the flash drive, the pair soon finding themselves clinging onto one another as they saw a file containing both videos and images of them going about their daily lives, as well as on their missions, even their homes outside of the Bureau, including safe houses even the Chief was unaware of. 

Amidst the flurry of images and videos was a single document, a simple text file that contained words which managed to send a chill through their cores. 

“I would advise you to not bite the hand that feeds you, I harbor no malice towards you at the moment…but if you continue to pry into things best left unknown…then I will be forced to take much more direct action against you. 

The presence of this hard drive should be proof enough of what I am capable of, as well as the extent of my influence, and be advised that what you see here is but a fraction of the data I have gathered on the two of you. 

But that is neither here nor there at the moment, and I would truly hate to sully the wonderful working relationship we have at the moment, and in the same vein lose two exceptionally useful allies, thus I will take no action against you at the moment.

For now, I would advise you to hold one another close, perhaps enjoy the wine you have stored away in your cupboard. It is a wonderful vintage that pairs quite well with the dark chocolate that Tetra purchased a couple of days ago. 

Take some time off to process this information, don’t worry about anything, your superior at the Bureau is a kind woman, she won’t pry too much, and you have likely received a rather sizable transfer to your account for a job well done in regards to your last few missions from me. 

With that said, I must be going, I have a great many things to attend to that require my personal attention, though before I go, I have to admit that I was impressed by the variety of toys you possess. My own collection seems paltry in comparison…perhaps I should remedy that.

Sincerely X.”

The pair would take their mysterious benefactors' advice and spend the next few days with each other, not only scouring their homes and cell for bugs, but also in trying to bury the terror that the flash drive caused them. 

That the damn thing vanished the next day, only further heightened their fears of this unknown X. 

Curiously, the days following this incident would see Shalom spend a rather lengthy amount of time browsing certain…illicit sites in search of new additions for her own collection, that she asked Rahu, Rosa (Who she communicated with via sharing her screen in a call or by phone), and the Chief their opinion on the objects in question, is something 2 of the 3 mentioned would very much like to forget .

38. Upon learning that Peggy and Joan were two of the musicians whose tapes and records she possessed, she took time out of her schedule to ask for their autograph’s on the tapes and records in question, paying them quite handsomely in return.

She has likewise requested recording of several other musician Sinners performances, from Dudu, who spent several minutes in dumbfounded silence at just how much Shalom offered her before energetically shaking her hand and running off to get started, to Echo and her saxophone, the young musician being ecstatic to record a tape for someone at last. 

Whether or not the music is any good by the standards of the masses is of no concern to Shalom, all that matters is that it is her choice to listen to and enjoy it, and not the whims of her former masters, with it also serving a memento of some of the more vibrant souls present within the Bureau. 

39. Given her fixation on spreading happiness, and Shalom’s desire for happiness, it is a fair assumption to say that she has something of a relationship with Serpent, with the serpentine Sinner having taken upon herself the challenge of making Shalom give her a genuine smile through any means necessary. 

As a result of this, Shalom has many times found herself given a front row seat to the shows that Serpent puts on within the Bureau, the serpentine Sinner having pulled out every stop during her shows to try and coerce as much genuine emotion as she can from Shalom, with the Hush often finding herself feeling emotionally drained and yet deeply satisfied after each performance. 

She has also met the monstrous snake that Serpent keeps as a pet, granted their meeting involved it slithering through the vents and into her room as she was reading a book, but unlike many of her fellows she did not immediately panic and was instead able to keep the colossal snake busy until Serpent could arrive to recover it.

Though it did take them a rather long while to convince the snake to uncoil itself from around her and her chair, especially given that it seemed to be enjoying the story she was reading aloud to it. 

That is not to say it is an entirely one-sided deal, as Serpent has come to find herself with enough money in her account to be able to afford the sun lamps she has wanted for a long while, with Shalom also taking upon herself the duty of babysitting Serpent’s snake when the woman has to leave it behind on a mission. 

She has also aided Serpent in her quest to make the Chief happy, not only through funding but also by helping her in researching a rather large variety of means to try and appease the woman in question.

The Chief has since come to expect that whenever Serpent has a show, she will find herself being seated near the front with Shalom on one side, Eirene on the other, and Rahu and Christina as far away from the giant snake that accompanies Serpent as possible. 

40. She gets cold easily due to her fragile nature, her heavy coat helps her with it to an extent, but during particularly cold or windy days, she needs to wear layers to the point that she needs several minutes to pry off all of them when she is out of the cold, otherwise she will begin to overheat. 

In addition to getting cold easily, she also has a rather weak immune system, even with Paradeisos medicine at her back, thus she can easily fall ill during cold weather, leading to her being bedridden or consigned to the medical wing for several days before her condition stabilizes. 

As a result of this, she tends to avoid leaving the warmth of the Bureau, or even her room for that matter, during such weather unless her presence is requested by the Chief for some matter, though even then she will demand heavy reparations for her presence. 

Typically, said reparations will involve the Chief pampering her while she recovers from whatever illness has come to plague her, even should she be given medication to treat it, she will still request that the Chief stay with her till she is fully recovered. 

That is not to say she fairs any better during hot weather, as she has to wear sunscreen or carry an umbrella to avoid sun burns during the intense heat, with her trying to minimize her exposure to the intense sunlight as much as she can to avoid heat sickness. 

It is safe to say that she enjoys the more mild weather of spring or the cool and yet not freezing weather of fall as opposed to winter or summer, with those being the months she is able to enjoy the sights of the city and the world before she is forced to flee into cover at the changing weather. 

41. She once requested Enfer to make use of her ability to try and sculpt something that could elicit genuine fear from her, with the artist devoting a rather obscene amount of time and effort towards the matter, Shalom funding her ventures as the sculptor tried everything she could.

Eventually, Enfer managed to create something that managed to provoke a reaction from Shalom, the exact nature of the work that managed to provoke a feeling of unease and distress within Shalom such that she was visibly unnerved is unknown however, as Shalom had any visual images of the work removed as she took it to a secure and hidden space within her room.

None but the Hush and the Sculptor themselves have seen just what was made that day, and Enfer refuses to share any information on the matter, the Mistress of Fear herself feeling no small amount of unease whenever she recalls the work she made, and sheer distress it caused to flicker through the normally blank faced Shalom as she looked upon it. 

No threat was needed, no promise of revenge or wrath, nor was a bribe needed, only a glance at Shalom and at the artwork she had made was needed to bid her tongue to stay silent on the matter. 

An oddity is that after the piece was finished and hidden away, the pair tried to spend as much time with the Chief as possible, as though something compelled them to do so…perhaps…no, it is better that road be left unwalked. 

42. She is a regular listener to Eleven’s radio show, and is exceptionally fond of the radio host herself, finding her show to be the perfect thing to listen to as she focuses on work that has either kept her up late, or has awoken her exceptionally early.

Eleven is more than a little wary of the Hush, especially given the rumors she has heard of the woman, particularly from the agents of the Garden and various others, though at the same time she cannot ignore the way Shalom has spoken so highly of her, and the several times she has called in to her show to speak with her whenever she needed to take a breather during her work.

That said, Eleven wishes that the next time Shalom asks to take her photo, she does not have the flash on, especially given that the mirror she was standing beside managed to reflect it and disorientate both of them for several minutes. 

43. She very much enjoys sleeping in on the days she has nothing to do though not quite to the extent of Coquelic, who prefers to spend almost the entire day in bed when there is nothing for her to focus on, with her trying to catch up on any sleep she has been forced to miss as a result of her work.

Whenever someone attempts to awaken her from this slumber they will typically either be met by her Mark blazing in one of her eyes as she glares at them, or with her reaching out to pull them into bed with her, something that Rahu, Christina, Rosa, and the Chief have been the victims of before. 

The problem is that once she has a grip on them, and has begun to fall asleep, she very much refuses to relinquish her grip on them, with her poor victims having to either wait for her to awaken, or for them to find some way to wake her up.

Such as carrying her to, and proceeding to drop her into a tub of either warm or cold water, something that Rahu had to resort to at one point when something came up and Shalom was needed on one of those days.

She proceeded to learn that while Shalom is frail, she is still capable of throwing surprisingly heavy objects with no small amount of force at someone, particularly when they have their back turned to her. 

On an unrelated note, she had to see Iron and Anne for some aspirin to help with a headache she gained that day, where it came from she would not say, only that both the source of it, and the headache itself, were exceptionally annoying.

44. Shalom is not counted among the “Sane People Of The Bureau” as the group of Nightingale, Cinnabar, and recently Matilda is called within the Bureau by both staff and sinner, this is no small part due to her past as the Hush and her fixation on the Chief, along with the extremes she is willing to go to in order to achieve her goals. 

That said, she is still numbered among the “Somewhat Sane People Of the Bureau,” along with the likes of Langley, Zoya, and so on. As while she may not be the most sane of individuals, with Shalom even confessing such a thing herself due to her skewed view on morals and how she was brought up by Paradeisos, she is still more sane than most of the staff and sinners alike and is thus a candidate for leadership and advice should any of the Sane People Of The Bureau be indisposed after something occurs to effect the Chief…or when the chief needs to be overruled and or forced to take a break. 

45. She has a deep seated fascination with the Immortals (Dreya, Vanilla, and Mantis) due in no small part to their own contributions towards paving the way for Dis to be founded by Keylan during the expedition into the Perishing Star, along with the wisdom and knowledge they hold regarding not only the star, but also what they can recall of the world before Dis was founded. 

This is one of the few point where she and Paradeisos are in agreement, the information the Immortals possess has already caused several breakthroughs in regards to how the Perishing Star is viewed, along with information regarding both Mania and the effect it has had on the environment of the land around the star. 

As such, Shalom has been asked by Paradeisos to keep an eye on the Immortals and to help act as an intermediary to exchange information with them, especially in regards to the subjects of the Illusory Moon and it seeming intelligence, alongside of information of the old world that was lost during the years before the Expedition breached into the Star’s domain. 

She tends to speak most with Dreya as opposed to Mantis and Vanilla, as she find the astronomer to be the easiest to converse with of the group as opposed to the survivalist and logistician, though she has orders to try and gather information from Vanilla due to her being a largely unknown part of the Keylan Expedition, alongside of her understanding of the temporal hellstorm that rages within the Star’s domain and her ability to help in reconstructing some of the ruined monitoring stations around 00. 

46. Shalom was rather surprised when she learned that the Chief refuses financial backing and aid from her sinners, alongside of only taking Hella and Hecate with her on her missions, the latter annoying her much more than the former due to potential safety risks.

As a result of this, she is one of many that have brought up the idea of the Chief taking other sinners aside from just Hella and Hecate with her during missions as while she may have success so far with just the pair, she also has tendency to run into situations that heavier firepower would be greatly useful in contending with.

As a result of this, she and several others, including Langley, Eirene, Demon, and Rahu, have worked to put together a means of coercing the Chief to accept further aid on her missions from those who are capable of doing so, with the more contaminated and mania sensitive sinners having to be kept on the sidelines due to contamination and potential risk of going full maniac allowing for them to narrow the suspects down. 

That they have even been able to sway Nightingale to their side is proof of their devotion to this cause, though so far they have had little luck in convincing the chief to accept further help…at least willingly as they have several times simply either pulled rank on her (Langley) or threatened her with withholding her coffee and snacks (Nightingale) if she did not take aid with her on some missions. 

Shalom would go with the Chief on missions herself, if she did not feel that doing so would run the risk of allowing Paradeisos too much information on the Chief and potentially causing the both of them future headaches.

47. Despite her fragility, Shalom possesses rather impressive healing capabilities, though not to the extent of Hella, she is still capable of surviving many wounds that would have been fatal to others, with Schorl furthering her healing abilities with its own technology. 

She cannot regrow limbs or digits, nor can she regenerate organs, or is she immune to illness, but she is still capable of taking a stab or bullet and surviving, at least assuming it is not directly to her heart or brain, something she considers one of the few useful modifications Paradeisos made to her after she became the Hush. 

48. She has an odd relationship with subjects unknown to her, as she is both wary of, and yet also fascinated by, anything that she has know knowledge or comprehension of, something which is quite rare given her eidetic memory and the amount of information she was taught by Paradeisos and has learned on her own. 

This leads to her starting ventures into unknown subjects cautiously at first as she tests the waters before she begins to dive into them in full, hungrily devouring anything and everything she can on the subject until she feels that she is satisfied with it. 

This is not something born of scholarly desire, but rather out of a desire to know what she can use and what can be used against her, alongside of it being something that she has the ability to choose to indulge in without being ordered to do so, it is also something she does to further cultivate her seemingly all knowing image to instill both respect and unease in those around her. 

Among the subjects she has studied are things such as tailoring, animal husbandry (Christina learned far too much regarding breeding habits of animals when she was researching it), entomology (She felt it wise to learn more about her arachnid foes), cooking, and cocktail making. 

49. It is a standing rumor in the Bureau that Shalom’s coat is able to repair itself, as no matter what is done to it, be it burned or slashed, it is always in immaculate condition the next time anyone sees her wearing it. 

The truth is much less fanciful though, as Shalom simply owns many copies of her coat that she can use when she is unable to fix one of them or have a tailor fix it for her, with her having allocated a rather large sum simply to replacing and repairing her coats when they get damaged. 

She at one point had to have a whole new batch made for her as, despite not being contaminated when the Garden and Langley unleashed a hell of spiders into her room, she one day went to put on one of her coats and found a rather large tarantula inside of it. 

How it got there, she had no idea, only knowing that it was the doing of someone in the Bureau, especially given she has spider-proofed her room to the best of her ability since the ‘prank’ pulled on her.

Needless to say, she promptly had Schorl burn each of her coats for safety reasons. 

50. She is very well aware of the irony of her name's meaning and of her profession and the deeds she has committed, with her finding it to be somewhat humorous in a rather dark way, with her using it as a part of several rather dark jokes that she makes when free of Schorl’s gaze. 

51. While Shalom claims to have something of a Black Thumb when it comes to gardening, few know just how bad her attempts at gardening have ended over the course of her attempts at it. 

As not only has she managed to kill the vast majority of her own plants, including ones that should not be easily killable by any stretch of imagination, but she has also managed to, through means known to not even Paradeisos, cause plants that others are tending to on her behalf to die whenever she tries any attempt at caring for them. 

She was particularly upset the day she managed to kill a rose that Rosa had given her, with the maid having to visit the Bureau to console her former employer over the matter, said maid would later confide to the Chief that the flower was artificial and it should not have been possible for it to die. 

52. Shalom very much enjoys egging people on when the chance arises, utilizing her position as a Paradeisian and her own connections to put people who have managed to earn her ire in a position of wishing to strike at her, but being unable to do so.

In particular, she enjoys doing this to high ranking officials or such that try and interfere in her aiding the Chief, finding the expressions they make as they grit their teeth in silent and indignant fury at her to be amusing to no small extent. 

She is confident that should anything occur, Rahu would protect her, though her bodyguard has told her many times to cease her antics or to at least reign in her antics so that she did not have to have her hands on her weapons everytime Shalom meets an official that annoyed her. 

The only response she received from Shalom was an amused smile and the faintest hint of exasperation from Schorl as the Hush went to another meeting with a board of officials, said meeting nearly devolved into a full on brawl due to her pitting them against one another as she sat back and enjoyed the show.

It is safe to say that Rahu has come to dread seeing Shalom smile during meetings. 

53. She has many times commissioned Cassia to make perfume for her, with her finding the perfumers products to be vastly superior to even the perfumes that she would find in luxury stores in Eastside. 

A part of the deal she has with Cassia is an exchange of fragrances so to speak, as she will let the perfumer take samples of her hair to make into perfume in exchange for custom perfumes, though her donations to help Cassia built her own Atelier within the Bureau don't hurt either. 

Cassia considers the perfume she has made from Shalom’s hair to be an oddity, not just due to it smelling of a form of flower she has not smelled before, her best guess being some form of lily, with a rather spicy undercurrent of something akin to cinnamon, but also the feeling of peace it seems to bring the one wearing it, though she claims the feeling of peace feels…unnatural to her.

The perfumer would work to refine the perfume made of Shalom’s hair for several months before she seemed to reach some form of breakthrough, though it did not seem to be a desirable one as she soon destroyed the product and went back to her earlier iteration of the scent. 

Why she did so, she would never say, but the look of pity and unease in her eyes when she looks at Shalom since her experiment ended, tells a tale all of its own. 

54. She finds Hella to be rather adorable, though she is admittedly somewhat envious of the sheer amount and depth of emotions the young Syndician can feel, along with the ease at which she is able to display and switch between them.

Nonetheless, she has come to be rather fond of the gremlin’s antics, with her considering it a pleasant interruption to her day whenever she sees the hellion causing chaos within the Bureau, with her having gone so far as to aid her in her escapes and antics for her own amusement. 

She is also oddly protective over the Syndician, as she has come to the conclusion that Hella is a vital component to the Chief’s happiness, and a valuable means of keeping her safe, and as such she takes many steps to insure that the little hellion is safe during her outings.

Hella once confronted her on the matter, surprising Shalom with her awareness of her involvement, the pair speaking for a while on their thoughts on the matter, with the Rat Queen Of Syndicate surprising Shalom with her maturity and intelligence during their conversation. 

In the end Hella agreed to endure her meddling and watch, in exchange for her monitoring and protecting Ninety-Nine as well, with the gremlin threatening Shalom with going to the Chief and ruining her image in the Chief’s eyes if anything happened to the Berserker.

Shalom had chuckled at the statement, an honest chuckle of amazed amusement at the girl's audacity, before she acquiesced to her demand with grace, smiling to herself as she re-evaluated her opinion on the girl who finished her tea before she left. 

Before Hella had left the room, however, she had asked her how it was she deduced that it was her that was involved, something which made Hella pause before she turned to look at her over her shoulder and said-

“I had a hunch it was someone high up, didn't know who though, so I took a gamble on it being you and you confirmed it for me.”

Shalom had been incredulous for a moment before she began to chuckle once more, basking in both her surprise and the genuine emotion she felt as she watched the young woman leave, silently vowing to herself to see the full potential of the young girl one day.

55. And the final one, is that Shalom fully expects to never truly achieve her happy ending and to die before she can be fully free of the shadow of Paradeisos, to never be able to watch movies with the Chief, see Rahu freed from her hatred, watch as Christina and Thistle grow together, or witness Coquelic and her Garden claim their own pound of flesh from both the Underground and Paradeisos.

 Because of this, everything she has done and continues to do is her rigging the board as much in favor of the Chief and those she feels deserve it as possible, all to insure that once she is gone they will still be safe and can reach their own happiness.

She knows that nothing she has done can make up for even a fraction of the sins she has committed, but at the very least she hopes that these sins can pave the way to heaven for her loved ones while she descends into hell where the Hush belongs. 

She could burn with a smile on her face, so long as she knows they will be safe and happy.

And with any luck, she will drag Paradeisos down to the depths of hell with her, so that they can all burn along with the monster they created. 

Author’s Note: Well this has been a lengthy one, I apologize for the rather long delay with this chapter, life, writer’s block, and other projects kept me busy and left me little time to truly focus on this chapter, but I am quite content with it and feel that it is at a good enough point to call it for now. 

We hope you all enjoyed this mess of a chapter, and we hope to hear your own headcanons and thought on Shalom if you wish to share them with us. 

That said, we are going to try and update either our other PtN fic with a Shalom Chapter, or our Genshin Fic.

Either way, stay safe and take care all.

[threebooksoneplot]

The epigraph options for our Beau Swan-POV Eclipse retelling:

Option A 😈:

"I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to Hell in his own way."

—Robert Frost

Option B 🏋️:

“What are heavy? sea-sand and sorrow. What are brief? today and tomorrow. What are frail? spring blossoms and youth. What are deep? the ocean and truth.”

—"What are Heavy" by Christina Rossetti

Option C ✌️:

“And I see no chance before us of peace for me or for you. I see a chance of despair, of wretchedness ... or I see a chance of bliss, what bliss!”

—Count Vronsky, Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

...and of course, don't forget to tune in and hear how we chose these options during our Season 3 premiere on 9/11/24!

Three Books One Plot is a Twilight podcast with a twist: we simultaneously read Life and Death and Midnight Sun! This season: we'll once again brave the dangers Stephenie Meyer wouldn't as we continue Life and Death and Midnight Sun into the Eclipse era. More info here.

[outerbanksp4l27]

Tobias Eaton Pt 2

No warnings just kissing

_________________________________________________

They give you a tour then get to your dorm “this is your dorm for training.” It had 9 beds in the same room and the bathroom was open as well so if you went the bathroom you weren’t going by yourself. It was terrible. “Get changed, clothes are over there, we’ll be back to take you to the pit in 5.” Four said. You all get changed at your beds so you had space. But zero privacy it made you uncomfortable. They return and take you to the pit to eat. You all get food and sit, you sit next to Four and on the other side of you is Christina.

“So what faction are you originally from?” You said to Four.

“What makes you think you can talk to me?” He said.

“Maybe because you’re so approachable” you said with a small giggle.

“Careful” He said taking a drink.

_____

Once you eat it’s six and each day after six you may do what you please at dauntless then in bed by 9 if in training. You headed down to the pit and found a tattoo artist and wanted to get one so you picked out a tattoo and you chose birds to go on your color bone.

You noticed Four in the pit walking over too you, “First night here and your already getting a tattoo?”

“I finally escaped Abnegation might as well do what I’ve always wanted too” You said.

“You’ve always wanted a bird tattoo, why?” Four asked.

“I guess because I finally could leave, I wasn’t trapped in a bird cage any longer, I’m free.” You said looking him in the eye.

“Ok see you at training tomorrow then Birdy” He said. He gave you a nickname, you loved it.

_____

It was the next morning you woke up an hour earlier than everyone to get extra training in. You went out to the training center and wrapped your knuckles then started hitting the punching bag. You hear footsteps and turn around and see Four watching you.

“Don’t wrap your fingers around your thumb, you’ll break it if you punch like that” Four said walking up to you. So you put your thumb on the outside. “Here like this” he said fixing your thumb. You start punching the bag again, “Good” he said watching you. “Why are you up an hour early anyway Birdy?”

“I could ask you the same thing” You said.

“Just answer the question.” He said.

“I wanted to get warmed up, and I might not have been able to sleep.” You said.

“First nights always the worst, you’ll sleep better tonight especially since you’ll be exhausted from day one of training.” He said with a smirk.

“Great” you said rolling your eyes.

“Hey first lesson, before Eric gets in here, for gods sake don’t roll your eyes.” Four said to you.

_____

It’s a few weeks into training and it’s been well. You have a schedule now, you get up an hour before everyone and train with Four, then you train till lunch with everyone then train till 6pm then you can run free. But yet you always find yourself admiring Four and trying to see him any chance you get after 6. You are above the red line so, so far you are succeeding at dauntless. Training just ended so you go to get into more comfortable clothes and head to the pit to hang out with Christina and hope Fours around. “Christina are you gonna get a tattoo today finally?” You said giggling.

“I’m not scared! I just haven’t decided if I want one”Christina said.

“Oh sure after you have been swooning over that design you saw two days ago.” You said and your other friends laugh. You see Four in the pit and it’s like you didn’t hear the conversation anymore. You just looked at him.

“Y/n?!”Christina said.

You snap out of it, “What?” you said.

“It’s like you were in a trance, you okay?” Christina said.

“Oh yeah I’m fine” you notice Four walking over too you and stop right in front of you.

“Y/n can you come with me and we speak in private please” Four said. You were really caught off guard.

“Um yeah, sure, no problem” you said. Christina makes eye contact with you with a concerned look in her eyes. You nod it off saying you’re fine with your eyes, so she looked away as you and Four walked off. You and Four walk to a hidden balcony that Four said only a few people knew about so you felt special since he brought you up here.

“Y/n, how has your training been?” You were kinda caught off guard you thought he had something serious too tell you.

“Really well actually, I was excited when I chose dauntless but seeing everyone else I thought that I would be an underdog but seeing as where I am on the board makes me feel confident in a way I guess.” Four kept eye contact with you the whole time.

“Never think you’re an underdog, your brave, and strong. You are doing very well and I think you will succeed very well here. Which makes me happy.” Four said.

“Why does it make you happy?” Four hears you and leans on the railing and looks out at the view staying silent. “Four?” You said.

“Listen Y/n, I-“ someone opened the door and saw us on the balcony.

“Oh sorry Four” the guy said.

“No your fine we were done talking anyway you have the balcony we’ll head back inside” You knew Four had something else to say you wondered why he said that he had something to say. You follow Four back inside.

“Four” you said. You were still in private right inside after shutting the balcony door.

“What?” He said.

“We were not done talking, I know you were gonna say something, I want to know what.” You said with a stern voice. Four had never heard you speak like that too him before.

“Go back to the pit, it’s already 8:30 you need to get back.” He said and walked away before I could say anything.

_____

It’s the next morning and your walking into the training room and hour early per usual and Four isn’t there. Four is always there, had you said something wrong last night that got under his skin? You didn’t like this and you don’t know why he’s doing this. Maybe he just slept late. Maybe he forgot. He doesn’t hate you, you say to yourself and just start training by yourself.

_____

Everyone makes their way to training that starts at 6am, you see Four walk in and you stair at him. You wonder why he ditched you this morning. He doesn’t even share one glance at you, he doesn’t even act like you’re there. Then Eric walks in and training starts.

_____

It’s an hour before lunch and you are running laps with Christina, cause the hour before lunch, they let you train how you want. “Hey, that thing with Four yesterday, what was that about?” Christina said.

“Oh nothing, he was just checking up on my training.” You said.

“You sure? You guys haven’t spoken a word to each other since then and Four walked in with us too training this morning so I know you didn’t train together earlier.” Christina said.

“Maybe he was busy this morning, and we don’t talk much at training. Just leave it.” You said. Christina could tell you were bothered but she didn’t want to force you to tell her. You continue running and hear someone running behind you, you look back and it’s Four. So you run faster, if he’s gonna avoid you, you’re gonna avoid him. Christina try’s to keep up with you but can’t and as she’s running Four passes her gaining on you. You run even faster, you don’t wanna speak with him, so you start taking sharp turns trying to lose him.

“Y/n!” Four yells after you only feet behind you, he’s faster and stronger he would catch up to you. You try and run faster but you’re losing energy and can’t. Four almost catches up to you so you take a sharp turn and try to hide but he gets too you.

“Four what do you want.” You say it like it’s a warning.

“This” Four leans in and kisses you hard. You were so taken back and shocked, but you knew you weren’t the only one feeling this way and kissed him back your hands wrapping around his neck going through his hair. Four pulls back breathing hard. “I meant to tell you last night and I didn’t know anymore if I should tell you so I avoided you this morning.”

“Four, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” You said in a hushed voice.

“We gotta get back, lunch is soon and after lunch testing start.” Four said.

“Testing?” You said.

“We give you a shot and you face your fears in your head.” Four said.

“Can it see everything in your head?” You said nervously.

“No why?” He said.

“No reason” You said. Hopefully this test doesn’t show you’re divergent.

[acotars]

hey! could you please recommend me some romance books with the second chance trope or that are similar to You Deserve Each Other ? you have great taste in books 🥺

omg!!! crying that’s so sweet!! here are nine of my favorite second chance romances:

happy place by emily henry harriet and wyn have been the perfect couple since college. until they broke off their engagement six months ago and still haven't told their friends. now they're stuck at their friend group's annual maine vacation, lying through their teeth and pretending they're still madly in love with each other. only, harriet's discovering, it is all too easy to pretend to be in love in public. it's infinitely harder when it's just the two of them, and she has to pretend not to be. a fantastic second chance romance that's told in then-and-now alternating timelines, showing readers how harriet and wyn fell in love and wondering how they could have ever fallen out of it.

do i know you? by emily wibberley and austin siegemind-brokka eliza and graham are as out-of-sync as can be on their vacation getaway meant to celebrate their five-year wedding anniversary. the spark is just... missing. when another guest at their resort mistakes them both for singles and introduces them, eliza and graham decide pretending to be perfect strangers could actually be just the breath of fresh air this trip needs. what happens when you fall in love with a stranger who actually happens to be your wife? again, very similar to ydeo, as the couple never broke up, just lost sight of each other. a great read if you love the tough conversations!

the neighbor favor by kristina forest after being ghosted by the obscure author she'd been falling in love with over email, shy bookworm lily decides she needs to get out of her head and get back on the dating scene, and enlists the help of her dashing new neighbor (and secret obscure author!) nick. this is primarily a two-person love triangle (my personal favorite trope!!) with a hefty sprinkling of second-chance romance in there as well. the second chance comes in strong in the second half.

romantic comedy by curtis sittenfeld sparks fly on set between late-night comedy writer sally and heartthrob pop star noah while they work together on the sketches for the week he's hosting the live comedy that airs saturday night. sally's convinced noah is out of her league, but can't deny the pull she feels from him. a series of will-they-won't-theys that keep ending in won't-they until finally in the quiet isolation of the pandemic lockdown, sally and noah decide to go for it. this story is told over the course of several years, and noah and sally keep dancing around each other, but sally's self-image keep complicating things. this story is set very majorly within the pandemic, so trigger warning for that!

before i let go by kennedy ryan yasmen and josiah have loved each other since their teens. they built a life and a business and a family together, but when life delivered blow after devastating blow, the two found that love alone couldn't save everything. now divorced and co-parenting, they're finally settling into their new rhythm, but yasmen can't help feeling pulled to josiah like she hasn't in years. is it too late for them to find forever? or are some things stronger once they've been rebuilt? a truly gorgeous novel. heavy trigger warnings for miscarriage, mental illness, infertility, and deep depression. but josiah and yasmen's love story is one forged in fire.

something wilder by christina lauren lily wilder is keeping her gaze forward, guiding tourists on fake treasure hunts through the canyons of utah in an effort to save enough to buy back her family's ranch — and she is most definitely not still hung up on former ranch-hand leo grady who stole her heart a decade ago. that lie's a whole lot easier to believe before leo shows up, unbeknownst to them both, on a bro-trip guided by none other than lily herself. if only their romantic history was the biggest thing to worry about. this is a romantic adventure novel, full of action, betrayal, peril, and heart-pounding suspense. it delivers a great dose of that pining-longing-guilt that is expected of second-chance romances, but the resolution is a lot cleaner than many others in the genre. i loved this book so much, but it's definitely a polarizing one.

thank you for listening by julia whelan former actress turned successful audiobook narrator sewanee lost sight of her dreams after a tragic accident, but finds a new journey of self-discovery, love, and acceptance when she agrees to narrate one last romance novel, starring opposite anonymous heartthrob brock mcnight. sparks fly as the two pass samples over comfortably anonymous emails, neither of them knowing the other is actually the missed connection from their whirlwind night in vegas. another story featuring a two-person love triangle with sprinklings of second-chance romance. the healing arc in this story is extremely similar to ydeo, like two sides of the same coin.

twice in a blue moon by christina lauren sam was tate's first everything, including her first heartbreak. the two meet as teens on a two-week london vacation, where they fall hard and fast for each other. the only complication? tate is holding a big secret about her identity. when sam finds out and betrays her trust, it thrusts tate into an international limelight she never wanted for herself, and she never sees sam again. not until fourteen years later, when the filming location of tate's upcoming blockbuster film is sam's family farm. with a likely academy award on the line, tate must focus all her energy on her performance, even while she feels her heart pulling her towards sam. classic christina lauren. classic heartbreak. loose retelling of a room with a view, which is done so beautifully.

love and other words by christina lauren macy hasn't seen elliot in ten years. not since the day that changed everything. after the death of her mother, macy's father bought a cabin in the california wine country — a place the two of them could escape. macy finds her greatest escape in the bookish neighbor boy elliot, with whom she spends lazy summers devouring books and sharing favorite words. as the two fall more enamored with each other over their teen years, glimpses into their future show macy engaged to another man, and still agonizing ten years later over elliot's betrayal. this one is a doozy. told in alternating timelines, this novel is like seeing the wreckage before being told the agonizing story of a train crash. trigger warnings for parental death, grief, anxiety, and sexual assault. i... love this book.

i hope this list is helpful for you! if you'd like to see in-depth reviews for any of the books above, you can always add me on goodreads!

[scnders]

    𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑯𝑶 !     welcome, friends ! ♡

i'm addie, a 25+ roleplayer residing in some country in the gmt +8 timezone. this blog will mostly feature muses, reblogging musings and resources and other shenanigans but i am also someone who often searches for roleplaying partners. my main platform is discord. i like things organized and tupperbox is my savior. definitely love having multiple muses as well in one server. let's create our own little universe? i have a few ideas of plots we can do! below you will find details such as fcs, tropes and etc i like doing. feel free to send me a message if you're interested or simply comment/like this post! i'll get back to you when i am actively on the search for rp partners again! for a full navigation, click here.

    ꕀ 𝄒     ♡     𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬𝑪𝑳𝑨𝑰𝑴𝑺

my choice of faceclaims are those i am familiar with but i am almost game for suggestions! so don't be afraid to hit me up them. i rp both male and female fcs and would prefer if my partner does the same but! it's okay if we go for mxm or fxf as well only. i would prefer it if i'm not used for my male fcs for mxf pairings specifically since i've been rp-ing males for a huge chunk of the years i've been rp-ing. though i do make exceptions depending on the plot which we can discuss once we've added each other!

ladies: christina nadin, havana rose liu, huh yunjin, kim chaewon, kim yongji, kylie versoza, kwon nara, mikey madison, minnie mills, kang seulgi, and pat chayanit

gents: boss chaikamon, byeon wooseok, choi yeonjun, jung wooyoung, fumiya takahashi, kazuma mitchell, kim jiwoong, kim yonghee, yoon jeonghan, na inwoo, nut supanut lourhaphanich and sangheon lee

    ꕀ 𝄒     ♡     𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑷𝑬𝑺 & 𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑹𝑬𝑺

tropes: friends to lovers, second chance romances, grumpy x sunshine, enemies to lovers (i am a novice please try this with me), fake dating, royalty, marriage pact, revenge, widow/widower, cohabitation, star crossed lovers

genres: supernatural, high fantasy/fantasy, reincarnation, royalty, based on anime/movies/series and i would like to try some gang/action plots as well!

[autisticraventale]

Caregiver! Christina lore

TW: mentions diapers, periods, and miscarriages

Emmett belongs to @emmatheyoshi

🐈‍⬛ For Christina, caregiving is a coping mechanism like how regressing is a coping mechanism for regressors. Caregiving helps her cope with her dream of being a mother never being fulfilled and all her past miscarriages.

🐈‍⬛ She realized she was a caregiver after her first interaction with a regressed Emmett. She accidentally scared him and made him cry. After Charlie explained the concept of age regression to her, she felt bad about scaring him and wanted to try again. Once Emmett calmed down, Christina was given a second chance and allowed to hold him. Everyone who witnessed it was surprised by her maternal side. Lilith has been gone for seven years, so he needs a mother figure. Christina’s always wanted to be a mom, but fate had other plans. The two are just what each other needed!

🐈‍⬛ If she needs to use her hands for something while holding a regressor, she'll use her wings as a sling so she doesn't have to put the regressor down to do it. (Unless it’s something like lifting heavy objects because that’s a safety hazard.)

🐈‍⬛ While they’re open to caring for regressors of all ages, Christina is especially great with baby regressors.

🐈‍⬛ Due to endometriosis, she has extremely painful periods, so caregiving while menstruating always consists of snuggling in bed.

🐈‍⬛ Small add-on to the previous fact: she can be considered a padded caregiver because she needs to wear diapers to bed while menstruating due to extremely heavy periods.

🐈‍⬛ She’s very cuddly on account of being plus-sized. Perfect to use as a pillow!

🐈‍⬛ Like her father, Christina is fluent in Russian, so she often sings Russian lullabies to her little one. Her personal favorite is “Bayu Bayushki Bayu”...which is quite dark when you know what the lyrics translate to, so she’ll respect your wishes if it bothers you.

🐈‍⬛ LOVES to bottle and spoon-feed regressors. Especially bottle feeding since she gets to hold you close when she does it.

🐈‍⬛ When it comes to cartoons and TV shows, she’ll let you watch just about anything so long as it’s appropriate. Her only objections are Cocomelon, Spongebob, Dora, Barney, Caillou, Teletubbies, and Little Brown Bear (which should NEVER be confused with Little Bear).

🐈‍⬛ Valentino isn’t allowed anywhere near their little one. They won’t even let him touch you with a ten-foot pole!

🐈‍⬛ Very respectful when it comes to padding. If you’re uncomfortable with being changed, she’ll respect your wishes. However, she will contact someone you are comfortable being changed by if you have one to prevent rashes.

🐈‍⬛ Prone to purring. They’ll often end up purring during snuggle time. Sometimes, when they and Emmett both purr while snuggling, their purrs syncopate.

🐈‍⬛ Sometimes her cat instincts kick in and she’ll unconsciously groom you with her tongue. She'll stop if she sees any signs that you don’t like it when she eventually comes to her senses. If you’re okay with it, good for you both! Emmett loves it.

[chaserainbows]

Week 5 part 1

(justice for fearghas)

so last time we had a bottom 2 of lynn and may which got interrupted because of fearghas' medical disqualification and that was a very cursed event

if that didn't happen may was 100% about to go home so let's see how she does on her zombie era

well she's about to have to prove herself in a lipsync again because it's time for the lipsync tournament

last season this is where lynn's upward journey started she won every single lipsync and dominated the rest of the season from there

LOTS OF MUSIC VIDEOS FROM NOW ON

our 2 challenge winners are the first to go up against each other and this is a good song

they both already won a lipsync akari y against lynn and diantha against iris so let's see which one prevails this time

AKARI Y DOES IT AGAIN

diantha will have another chance to save herself later on so let's move to the next duo

the battle of the low energy legends is here and they pick the most high energy song there is

i mean it's a BOP i understand their vision

AGNI GETS ONE MORE LIPSYNC WIN

it really wasn't a fluke against saundra agni's just that good

i don't really care for this song so i'm replacing it with a superior magic

WE'RE NOT WASTING ANY TIME WAITING FOR THIS REMATCH IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

and this time may makes it clear that just because she lost to lynn once that doesn't mean she's scared

now they're tied, zombie may will keep fighting

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SONG

akari l and anabel are the last pair and akari l in particular has a lot to prove because she's been safe every episode my girl needs to get something different this time

AND SHE WINS

anabel's dancing diva era is not going well but she still has another chance to save herself

the lipsync tournament continues and now akari y and agni will go up against each other as the winners of their respective lipsyncs

we already had a christina aguilera burlesque song so let's use the etta james version of this song

AGNI DOMINATION CONTINUES NO SECOND WIN FOR AKARI Y

may and akari l are the other duo to compete in the semifinals and they get THE queen madonna

the protagonists are fighting and only one will emerge victorious

MAY GETS HER SECOND LIPSYNC WIN

akari l did get a high placement this time so her safe streak is over we love a successful queen

the final round is upon us

both of them have beaten an akari

both of them are struggle busing

only one will emerge victorious

the lipsync tournament champion of season 6 IS

AGNI

THE LIPSYNC ASSASSIN

THE LEGEND

THE GAMER

the elimination round will go on another post because this one is already very long

[atcarpenter]

Definitely and Tara is willing to try some pretty extreme stuff to appease her girlfriend. It can lead to some odd scenarios where Tara threatens NOT to get rough with her later if she doesn't behave at which point Amber immediately becomes subservient

No one else understands their dynamic and they're pretty sure they don't want to either

Tara would even confess that to Sam who is utterly heartbroken and guilt ridden at Tara thinking that and reassure her that it was never her fault and Tara was the only reason she stayed as long as she did and she wanted so badly to stick around but Sam knew she could never forgive herself if she ever did anything to hurt her sister

It was even worse with their dad gone as he had a somewhat better relationship with his daughters than Christina and made things a little easier and after he left, things got much worse. Tara has forgiven Sam but doesn't think she'll ever be able to forgive her dad for leaving her with Christina

Amber only gets a few details at first, Tara saying she prefers to be at Amber's house as her mom is not easy to be around, but she picks up that something worse is going on when she sees Tara is genuinely frightened of her. Amber reassures her that she doesn't have to say anything and just hugs her tightly

The worst part is that part of Tara still loves her and wishes they could have worked things out and blames herself for not trying harder.

Sam and Tara both blame themselves for so much and Amber does her best to reassure both that Christina's issues are not their fault

Definitely and they each get a chance to choose something to watch. Amber and Mindy usually go for an old school horror classic, something by John Carpenter, Chad will go for something more modern like The Conjuring films, Tara will always try and find an old or obscure horror film to show off her movie buff credentials and Sam usually goes for a horror comedy like Ready Or Not or Jennifer's Body or Death Becomes Her which is one of her favorite movies

For Halloween treats, Tara makes a trip to a British sweet shop as she and Amber discovered UK chocolate after moving to NYC and now refuse to go back to the American stuff. They love going in and coming out with a big bag of Maltesers, chocolate Buttons, Galaxy bars, Wispa bars and other treats which they share with the others. Sometimes.

Nope and she will happily fall asleep lying on you as she has done with Sam and Amber many times. Not that either mind, of course

She was but being around Tara again has made things a lot easier as the two have always made a point of showing affection to each other because they knew they were never going to get it from Christina

Amber even offers to hug Sam on the condition that no one ever know and it lasts only a few seconds. Sam happily agrees and just smiles when Amber threatens to kill her if she says anything

Amber still thinks she has a reputation as the tough girl from Brooklyn but everyone now knows she's a big softie underneath it

Yeah, honestly, I think Tara would be open to try lots of stuff at least once or twice with her because she trusts her implicitly. But also I love the idea of Tara threatening Amber with a gentle time, and Amber is like "Oh no, the horrors" and immediately caves 😂 Even though she normally likes the gentle stuff too. Idk they're versatile

They understand each other perfectly, and that's what matters, so no one else has to

Sam is devastated once she learns about all the doubts Tara had. But once they actually have that conversation, it goes a long way for both of them to heal from that period

That's very valid of Tara. He was still her dad and eight-year-old Tara did not deserve to be forever cut off from him, and Sam didn't either. But now Sam is Tara's stand-in dad, and she's much better, even if her biological dad was decent for the short period in her life that he was actually around

That's so sweet 💙 I love Amber like that. She gets more and more details slowly over time, and it honestly gets kinda grizzly somedays when she sees the state Tara's in or when Tara tells her of something that happened with Christina

I think both Sam and Tara carry those feelings well into adulthood, but Amber's no-bullshit "it's all her fault" attitude helps a lot when they're doubting these things again

I like those movie choices for them, and it reminds me I need to make my own movie marathon sometime soon

:D I like that they hog the sweets. They share, but only if they want to. And preferring the UK chocolate is so valid

They both love when Tara falls asleep on them. Amber sometimes goes, "Sorry, Sam, can't cook tonight, Tara fell asleep on me. Not my fault." And Tara is undisputedly the best blanket

Getting that hug from Amber means a lot to Sam. She would have been happy with just taking the one, but despite her initial threats, Amber starts offering more of them, without the stipulation they only last a few seconds, but she still refuses to let the others know about the hugging. Secretly, she likes the hugs too, however. Tara and Sam both love that she is secretly a big softie

[haveyoureadthispoll]

Macy Sorensen is settling into an ambitious if emotionally tepid routine: work hard as a new pediatrics resident, plan her wedding to an older, financially secure man, keep her head down and heart tucked away. But when she runs into Elliot Petropoulos—the first and only love of her life—the careful bubble she’s constructed begins to dissolve. Once upon a time, Elliot was Macy’s entire world—growing from her gangly bookish friend into the man who coaxed her heart open again after the loss of her mother...only to break it on the very night he declared his love for her. Told in alternating timelines between Then and Now, teenage Elliot and Macy grow from friends to much more—spending weekends and lazy summers together in a house outside of San Francisco devouring books, sharing favorite words, and talking through their growing pains and triumphs. As adults, they have become strangers to one another until their chance reunion. Although their memories are obscured by the agony of what happened that night so many years ago, Elliot will come to understand the truth behind Macy’s decade-long silence, and will have to overcome the past and himself to revive her faith in the possibility of an all-consuming love.

[idabbleincrazy]

Spike's Meme

Prompted over on LJ on the Nekkid_Spike comm. Did one for Spike, and one for Angel....

Spike:

1. Who is your biggest celebrity crush?

That bloke on Bones, David something…Christ, there's a shag I'm sure I'd never forget.

2. Name 3 things you've done that your parents would disapprove of.

Had sex outside of marriage, lots of it. Murdered, again, lots. And, I'm sure they'd have disapproved of my letting myself get turned into a bloodsucking demon.

3. Who is the one person who can always make you smile?

Fred. Sweet bird always knows how to cheer me up. Pure soul, that one.

4. What is your biggest fear?

Christ, you better not let Angel see this, or someone's gettin' their guts ripped out. I'm afraid of being alone, alright? Never could stand being on me own.

5. What is your favorite love song? And your favorite break-up song?

Oh, c'mon who wrote this poofy crap? Fine…A Thousand Years by Christina Perri, and Cryin' by Aerosmith. If Angel finds out about this, heads will roll.

6. What talent do you have that you think people would be surprised about?

Well, see, there's this thing I can do with my tongue…

7. What 3 things would you take to a desert island?

My smokes, a crateful of liquor, and a Keats book. 'Course, I'll be dead once the sun comes up, so…

8. What unpopular opinion do you hold?

Angel is not the golden boy everyone thinks he is. The demon's still there, it's just on a leash.

9. Have you ever called someone the wrong name during sex?

Whatever Harmony told you is a lie.

10. What are your feelings on clowns?

Look, don't know as how clowns are today, but when I was human, they always seemed like creepy pervs.

11. Is there something that you've always wanted to tell someone but been too scared to?

Yes, but I ain't tellin' you. I'll tell him her when he's she's ready to hear it.

12. Have you ever kissed someone that you really shouldn't have?

That first kiss with Harmony opened a whole can of worms. Oh, and probably shouldn't have kissed Xander that once, but the whelp was so bloody depressed, looking like a kicked puppy. It was reflexive. Donut boy didn't seem to mind too much, though.

13. What word or phrase do you absolutely dread hearing?

Gettin' real tired of the words 'get out'. One of these days I'll listen, and then he'll be sorry.

14. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Please, I lived with Angelus for nigh on two decades. Think the bloke got off on being caught out.

15. Finally, what makes you totally awesome?

Hello? Everything. It's me we're talking about here.

~~~~

Angel:

1. Who is your biggest celebrity crush?

Hedi Lamar. She's a vengeance demon now, did you know?

2. Name 3 things you've done that your parents would disapprove of.

If you asked my father, everything I've ever done is worthy of disapproval.

3. Who is the one person who can always make you smile?

I know who you're expecting me to say, and maybe that was true once, but the bloom is a bit off the rose these days. For Angelus, it was William. For me, it's Spike. He may irritate me to no end, but he knows how to get to me like no one else can. He's the only one who can pull me out of my funk anymore.

4. What is your biggest fear?

Losing my soul. If I did, I'd lose so much more along with it.

5. What is your favorite love song? And your favorite break-up song?

Ready to Take a Chance Again by Barry Manilow, and Mandy by Barry Manilow. Spike's not gonna see this, right?

6. What talent do you have that you think people would be surprised about?

Look, I might be shit at modern dance, but you don't spend over a century rubbing elbows with the snobby elite of Europe without knowing how to waltz.

7. What 3 things would you take to a desert island?

I'm a vampire. It doesn't matter what I bring to a desert island if I'm just going to end up as dust because there's no shade from the sun.

8. What unpopular opinion do you hold?

A soul doesn't stop you from being evil. It's a conscious choice you make every day of your life.

9. Have you ever called someone the wrong name during sex?

Uh, yeah…Darla wasn't very pleased about it either.

10. What are your feelings on clowns?

I think most of them are actually demons under all that makeup.

11. Is there something that you've always wanted to tell someone but been too scared to?

Yeah. I don't have to tell you though, do I? I really think he should hear it face to face.

12. Have you ever kissed someone that you really shouldn't have?

I suppose if I had only kissed people I should've kissed, none of this ever would have happened to me. I know I definitely shouldn't have kissed Sean O'Donoghue's fiancé. Or the butcher's daughter. Or half the population of Galway.

13. What word or phrase do you absolutely dread hearing?

Peaches.

14. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Heh. Next question, please.

15. Finally, what makes you totally awesome?

I mean, I don't know that I am, really. I try to be the best version of myself that I can be, but is that enough??

~~~~

@leatafandom

[vynpop]

Love & Other Words

By Christina Lauren

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Synopsis

"Macy Sorensen is settling into an ambitious if emotionally tepid routine: work hard as a new pediatrics resident, plan her wedding to an older, financially secure man, keep her head down and heart tucked away. But when she runs into Elliot Petropoulos-the first and only love of her life-the careful bubble she's constructed begins to dissolve. Once upon a time, Elliot was Macy's entire world-growing from gangly, bookish friend into the man who coaxed her heart open again...only to break it on the very night he declared his love for her.

Told in alternating time lines between then and now, teenage Elliot and Macy grow from friends to much more-spending weekends and lazy summers together in a house outside San Francisco devouring books, sharing favorite words, and talking through their growing pains and triumphs. As adults, they have become strangers to one another until their chance reunion. Although their memories are obscured by the agony of what happened that night so many years ago, Elliot will come to understand the truth behind Macy's decade-long silence, and will have to overcome the past and himself to revive her faith in the possibility of an all-consuming love."

Review

This book has me yearning for an all-consuming love that has taken over Elliot and Macy. Seeing these two adorable souls become friends and then into something more left my heart so happy. Elliot couldn't get enough of Macy and his entire life he searched for her in everyone and everything. Just as Macy did for him. My emotions were all over the place and even now I find myself tearing up. When a book has me laughing, screaming, and crying you know it's a good book.

"Min lille blomst."

This will never NOT make me cry. NEVER!

BookTok did not fail me this time. So, there's that.

Elliot and Macy have this witty and sweet dynamic and you can instantly feel Macy light up as Elliot returns into her life. In a way, I'm jealous of Macy. She found someone who loves her endlessly and as many of us can agree...a love like that...is hard to find outside the fictional world.

This will be one of the top reads for me this year and I will be picking this book up again, and again, and again.