#once again I am very glad I did not take that teaching job

[isfjmel-phleg]

Dr. L. (head of Tutorial Services, teaches English and Latin, has an office right off the children's section in the library) called me in to his office as I walked by, specifically to ask my opinion of the School of Languages and Literature becoming Humanities and Leadership. He hates it too and apparently wanted to hear someone else say it. I am amused.

[sugarsfics]

Hi!! I was wondering if I could request a fluffy story of Eddie with a shy female!reader? basically something where she transferred to Hawkins in the middle of her senior year, and she’s having a hard time talking to people. Super closed off, nervous, horribly shy. But one metalhead notices her and thinks she’s as cute as a damn button…

also could you make her short?🤣 I just love a good short reader haha

Summary: You are the new girl.....when things get ruff a certain metalhead find you quite the caught <3 

Trope: Eddie x shy!reader; friends to crush to maybe lovers?? 

A/N: HIII @laurenandloki I hope you enjoy this I love when Eddie basically adopts the shy girl, I promise you peeps aren’t done with them yet, I want to make them into a little series to have them ofc fall in love and it would have been wayyy to soon to have them date it this one sooooo enjoy <3 

Warning: Cussing, fluff, use of y/n, bullying, small hurt, but a lot of comfort 

Word count: 2.1k 

Alright you got this, you said to yourself it is just another school, no one knows who you are so you can have a new start, how bad can it be? So far it was going well you walked to the office and got your schedule you grimaced at your dad’s last name that cheating scum bag f you found out two months ago you dad had been living a secret life a double life. He said that he started a new position at work where for a week out the month he had to go out of the state to show the higher ups the quota from the month before, well that was a lie. Your mom one day went to the store but had to take the long way due to construction and had to pass by your dad’s work and his car was in the lot she was so confused maybe he forgot something she went to the store and grabbed him so thing for lunch. His car was still in the lot when she came around again. She walked up to his secretary and asked if he was in, she said yes and that his sister was in his office, mind you your dad is an only child, she then walked into the office and found him kissing his supposed sister who had a baby in her hands. His secretary had no idea about the affair and was generous enough to forward mom into a job in Hawkins. So now you are here in Hawkins going into your senior year and starting school in the MIDDLE of the school year, how bad could it be? 

Everything was going great, until “Move it freshman” you were pushed from the back sending you forward, speak up for yourself stop being shy for once in your life “I-I-I am n-not a f-freshman" “Oh” the jock said “You must be from the middle school” the hallway erupted with laughter then the bell rang and everyone went their own ways when trying to get up a ringed hand came into view “Here let me help you up” a voice said you quietly thank them while getting up but didn’t make any eye contact you were too embarrassed. They lower themselves to make the eye contact you were met when the warmest brown eyes ever “Hi” the person said “Sorry about Jason he is a hugeee dick and think being mean to hot people it cool hence why I am his main target” he joked “Oh ok” “Yea oh let me see your schedule” he grabbed it out of your hand “Oh nice we have a lot of classes together including lunch here let me walk you” the walk was very short just to the end of the hallway “Here we are first period math it sucks having it be the first class of the day but then you won’t have to worry about it anymore” you both walked in and all eyes were on you fuck “Hey teach-” “Sit Munson your late” “I was-” “Sit” the teacher didn’t look up from his book “Can I help you” “Um yes I am new here” you showed him your schedule he huffed “Take any open seat” the only open seat was in the back next to that Munson? Was that his name? “Glad to have company back here” he said you gave him a thumbs up and turn to the board “You don’t talk a lot do you” he asked you shook your head “You should you have a pretty voice” Was he flirting with me? I only said like two words to him and he kinda called me hot did he call me hot? I DON’T KNOW. You just nodded at went back to writing notes. “Oh, by the way my name is Eddie” finally his name “Y/n” “Pretty name for a pretty girl” How bad could it be. 

Eddie didn’t have second period with you, but he did walk you to the class. When exiting the classroom, you saw him running to you holding out his arm to take you to third period, which you did have with him. It was the same thing you went up to the teacher, they would tell you to sit in the open seat which was always next to Eddie, which you really did mind. Eddie noticed you didn’t really talk but he wanted to get to know you more, for the first time that day Eddie pulled out his notebook and tore out a page. A folded paper plopped on your desk you look at Eddie as he had a smirk you opened the folded paper in black writing was Hi you became to write looking for the teacher before throwing at his table in pink writing Hi. Your new form of communication, Eddie wrote so much that period, the teacher looked confused thinking he was writing notes, you learned he has his own club, he has a job, has sheep? And is in a band. Fourth period came rolling around but this time the only empty seat was in front, nowhere near Eddie, there was a pit in your stomach the same one you get when it is your turn to present. Was it weird that you grown attached to Eddie so fast? That class went by slow not sure if it was the lack of Eddie or that lunch was next, lunch!! where are you going to sit? The was a nice tree outside? Maybe the library? Your car? Maybe Eddie? No I am not going to get my hopes up he probably won’t want the short shy girl sitting with him and his friends. *ring* oh now the bell wants to go off. You slowly packed your things still trying to think of where you will be eating. You turn and ran into a chest “Woah slow down their short stuff” “Sorry” you mutter. He walked out you were walking toward the parking lot when you felt a tug on your backpack “Where are you going” he ask “My car” “Oh did you leave you lunch in there” “No” “Then why are you going” you can’t tell him that you are going to eat in your car like a loser “I-I-I" “You were going to eat in your car” he questioned “n-no” you mumbled “Yea you aren’t you are seating with me” “I am?” “Yep let’s get going” “With your friends” “Yea don’t worry they don’t bite, maybe Matt, but I will protect you” He will protect me? How bad could it be? 

Eddie pulled you in front of him and started steering you using your shoulders he made little car noises and did a screech when stopping in front of three boys “Welcome to the table” he said bowing pulling a seat from the table next to them. “Here sit” “Thank you” Eddie’s friends stare at you, you started to shrink under their gaze “Quit staring” he told them “But she is a girl” said a one “Ok and” Eddie responded “Girls don’t sit or even associate with us” said another “Who even are you I have never seen you before” asked the last one “Ya’ll are acting like she is an alien your freaking her out” he turned to you “See this is exactly they are the reason why pretty girls like you don’t sit with us” he said patting your head “Oh this is y/n, y/n this is Jeff, Gareth, and Matt” he said point to each “By the way she is new which is why you haven’t seen her before she just moved her from...” he said looking at you “Oh um- New yor-” “NEW YORK why would anyone want to move from New York to sleepy town Hawkins” Jeff exclaimed “Long story” you said rolling your eyes. Eddie leaned on your shoulder and whispered, “You are going to tell me the story later right?” Are you ready to tell him the story? Is it too early in your friendship to talk about something deep? “Sure when we have time” How bad can it be? 

“No way man the outer path is more suitable” Three younger boys came to sit at the table “Are you an idiot this is Eddie’s campaign we are talking about he is going to make the happier light place have way more trouble we should take the “dark way” as you call it” said the one in a cap on “Ah my sheep still going on about last night campaign” “Yea you ended we thing were heating up” said another wearing a track suit “Well you will have to see tomorrow night I have a few tricks up my sleeves or maybe a giant or two” the table erupt with yelling making you jump “you ok” Eddie asked you nodded “Who is that” asked the one with hair similar to Eddie’s but shorter “Oh this is y/n, y/n these are the sheep Dustin, Mike, and Lucas, sheep, she is an honorary member of Hellfire” “I am?” “Yes you are” the boys went back to talking about the campaign when tapped Eddie’s shoulder “um- what is a campaign” when you asked the whole table feel silent “How is this girl a honorary member if she doesn’t even know what a campaign is?” asked Mike “I-” Eddie interrupted you “I am Master here so I call the shots you either be nice to the pretty girl or leave” this is like the 3rd pretty girl Mike sat down and mutter something under his breath “What was that” Eddie said “Nothing” “Good” he turn to you and you were pulling out your lunch bag “Ooo what are we having for lunch” he asked “Oh um I have a sandwich, chips, and some cookies I made” you notice that Eddie didn’t have a lunch in front of him, he has been nice to you all day so it was time to return the favor, you gave him a half of your sandwich and put the chips in the middle of you two “We can have the cookies later” you said smiling up at him he thanked you and overly exaggerated about how good the food was. You really liked Eddie, his friends too, mike you need to get used to but how bad could it be 

Lunch ended and Eddie kept you under his arm. You both had the last two classes together so it was really nice. You both still passed notes, it was really easy not getting caught the teachers didn’t look at Eddie’s direction that much. The final bell rang to go home. Eddie walked you to your locker, “So how was your first day” “surprisingly really good” “Yea” he smiled “Yes I had a cool master to show me around” you joke. He loved that you became more open with him. “So l/n what are you doing after school” you froze at the mention of your last name, “c-can you please not call me that” you said quietly “oh I am sorry I didn’t know.... is that a part of your long story?” “Yea I-I have to go” you said closing your locker, he saw you closing up again fuck Eddie you were so close “I am sorry” he said catching up to you “Please I didn’t know fuck I should have ask” who stopped at your car and took a breath “No I should be sorry for acting like that I am really sensitive to my last name and you obviously didn’t know because you don’t know me and you probably won’t want to due to my outburst-” “I would like to though” “Like to what?” “Get to know you, you seem really cool and pretty and you didn’t judge me over what people were saying or my friends and I being the freaks for the first time in a while I felt like myself at school with you” “I would really like to get to know you too” “Great ca-can I have your number” he said rubbing his neck. You pulled out your pink pen and wrote your number on his arm “Do you have like a curfew or can I call you whenever” he asked “Whenever” “Ok cool cool....can I call you when you get home” “Yes you can” “Great see you well actually hear you then” he replied “Bye y/n” “Bye master” you got inside your car waved at Eddie and drove away. Eddie watched you leave then pulled out all of the notes you have passed throughout the day and put it in his glove department, but he grabbed his favorite one, the first one, and put it on his dashboard he looked at his arm and smile, he got the pretty girl's number. You drove home quickly but safely you hurried to grab a snack and water ran to your room and waiting by your phone. Five minutes later the phone rang. “Hello” you spoked his voice boomed “Hey its Eddie” “Hi” “I hope you have nothing to do because I am planning to talk to you all night” How bad could it be.

tag list: @thefreak0fhawkinshigh 

Let me know if you want to be added<3

[whumpbug]

Hi Bug, same anon who asked the horse questions --- first of all, thank you so much for the answers and I'm so glad I was able to inspire you!! I don't think you've talked about this yet but I was curious: What was Gene's mom like? I know she was killed by criminals and that event led to him becoming such an intensely strict deputy, so either she meant a whole lot to him or her death was just that traumatic. --- QUESTIONS - Well, first of all, what's her name? - What lasting affect did she have on Gene when she was alive? Did she teach him anything fundamental about life or morality that he still believes? Did she introduce him to anything that he's still passionate about? - Is there anything specific that Gene does in her memory and if so, when? On the anniversary of her death? Whenever it's her favorite weather? Every other day? Every morning? - Who, specifically, killed her (if you know)? - How old was Gene when she was killed and did he witness it himself? If so, does he remember it?

HI ANON IM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU IN MY ASK BOX AGAIN!!!!! and once again you come with such amazing questions i am being so spoiled right now.

the short answer is that she meant a whole lot to him AND her death was that traumatic. but who's here for the short answer anyways

long post incoming. as always. I HOPE U ENJOY!

✮⋆˙

what's her name?

gene's mother's maiden name was Sylvia Mae LeBlanc.

she was a small, feisty woman from the deep south (louisiana) and you could tell right away from her accent. she was blonde, blue-eyed, and gorgeous. a real southern belle.

she met gene's father (who's name is clint) when she was just 17, and the two hit it off. they got married, and of course, she became sylvia delaney, and soon baby gene was born. the trouble was that sylvia's father did not like clint. clint was a rancher, and her father thought lowly of the profession. he refused to support them finacially. she ran away with clint and they struggled for quite a while, but they were determined. clint truly did love sylvia, but i don't think he was ever going to be ready to be a father. sylvia loved being a mother, but fatherhood scared clint. he never had a great relationship with gene to start, and it only got worse when sylvia died.

looks wise, gene got his bone structure from his father, but everything else is from his mama. he has her eyes, her hair, her mouth, even her nose. he was VERY blonde as a child.

✮⋆˙

what lasting affect did she have on gene when she was alive?

oh this is a loaded question and i LOVE it.

when he was little, he spent most of his time with his mom. being a rancher was a busy job, and clint didn't particularly care enough to make an effort to spend time with his kid, so gene and sylvia were very very close.

she taught him a lot about how to conduct himself. she was a southern girl, manners were VERY important to her. she'd be damned if gene didn't address everyone he met as sir or ma'am. she also was a big reader, and taught gene to read and write from just age 3. she read anything under the sun to him, and its part of the reason why he's generally considered very articulate. he still loves reading and it's one of his favorite pastimes.

she was also extremely progressive for her time. she taught him so much about how to respect people as a whole, no matter their race or gender or social class or anything. she just taught him empathy. it was a big help that gene was naturally just a sweet kid.

unfortunately for little gene, clint Did Not like this. he was obsessed with what it meant to "Be A Man" and didn't take kindly to seeing his son do things like carrying the paralyzed lamb to and from the water tin or crying after accidentally stepping on a butterfly. he saw gene as too soft from the get-go, and he made his disdain for it known.

it was a recurring argument for sylvia and clint.

still, sylvia wouldn't back down. when gene would sob after getting yelled at by clint or, worse, after being forced to go hunting at the age of 7, sylvia would hold him and rock with him and sing to him until he calmed down and tell him that its okay to cry. being gentle takes strength. the world needs more kindness like yours.

gene thinks about it very often.

✮⋆˙

is there anything specific that gene does in her memory and if so, when?

so, for starters, he visits her grave every year on the anniversary of her death. she was buried in louisiana-- she loved her home town and state. so every year, gene takes a train (haha. sorry gene.) down to visit his grandparents and aunts and cousins, but ultimately he leaves the family house to go to the cemetery and spends the day sitting by her grave and just. he just talks to her.

he talks to her like she's right there. he tells her about work, about the town shenanigans, more recently about cassidy (he talks a lot about cassidy. sylvia is looking down at him with an Eyebrow Raise.), really anything that comes to his mind. he sometimes falls asleep, head resting against her headstone, and wakes up to the sun settling below the horizon.

in terms of little practices he does, he makes his coffee a very specific way because of how she used to make it. he wears one of her rings on a chain around his neck. he has her accent, sometimes, when he's not thinking about it. he still has all his southern manners, he is respectful and kind, just like she wanted him to be, but sometimes it's drowned out by his father.

he also kept a bottle of her perfume. it smells of peach and vanilla and orange blossom. he sprays it on his pillow sometimes, when he really really misses her. those nights are always hard on him.

✮⋆˙

who, specifically, killed her (if you know)?

see this is where i have entertained different ideas. as of now, its just a random outlaw. just a random train robber that had no personal connection to gene.

however.

i have thought it could be interesting if the man was montana or someone associated with him. the timelines would (maybe) make sense, but i feel like it might also just complicate things too much. IDK. its just a little idea but for now, i'll say it was just an unspecific outlaw.

✮⋆˙

how old was gene when she was killed and did he witness it himself? if so, does he remember it?

oh boy.

cw: blood mention. slightly graphic description of death.

gene wishes he didn't remember. he really does.

she was killed on their way to visit louisiana. clint never went with them when they traveled because, again, being a rancher is a demanding profession and sylvia's family didn't take too kindly to him visiting anyways.

gene was 11 at the time. he was sitting in the train car with his mother, head resting on her shoulder, when he heard commotion coming from a few cars down.

then, the group of robbers breached their own car.

gene was petrified. he clung to his mama like a little boy, visibly shaking when they started making their way down the aisle. she whispered reassurances to him, that they would be okay, that they weren't going to give the bad men anything, that the sherriff would be there any minute.

when one of the men approached sylvia and gene, sylvia physically put herself between the man and her son. she was fesity. she wasn't going down without a fight, and she sure as hell wasn't going to give this man anything.

when she refused the first time, the man didn't shoot her. he simply murmured something to his the other outlaw beside him and turned back to sylvia, giving her a chance to reconsider. she didn't.

and then the gunshot rang out.

she got her right in the chest. it was a miracle that gene wasn't somehow hit too, as close as he was.

that was the moment the outlaws heard the shout of the lawmen, and turned tail on the job. but the damage had been done.

gene held his mama as she took her last breath. she didn't stand a chance. the bullet fired point blank into her left lung. she hardly lasted a few minutes. still, gene screamed. there was blood everywhere. on his face, on his clothes, on his hands.

he cried, he begged, he pleaded for someone, anyone to help him. to save his mama. but she didn't stand a chance.

i'd like to say that she had last words, some profound thing to say that gene could hold dear to him for the rest of his life, but she didn't she just gasped for air until she couldn't anymore.

gene remembers that day in vicious detail. he remembers what he was wearing, what she was wearing, what the man's eye color was. his memory goes fuzzy from the moment she died, though. he vaguely remembers being taken to a sherriffs office and being cleaned up with a handkerchief and being wrapped in a scratchy blanket. he remembers his father arriving, and it might have been the only time his father hugged him. it was certainly the only time he ever saw him cry.

his memory of the entire year after she died is choppy at best, nonexistent at worst. he began helping his father more at the farm, not because he wanted to spend more time with him, but because it gave him something to do. if he didn't have anything to do, he might've gone crazy.

unfortunately, and much to sylvia's dismay i'm sure, the experience hardened him. especially since he was around his father so much, he didn't allow himself to be seen as soft or gentle anymore. he got tougher, meaner, and more like his father.

its, in part, because he wonders if he had been just a little stronger on that day in the train, if he could have saved his mama. maybe if he had been quicker or more intimidating, he could have protected her like a "Real Man" should. but he'll never know. and that thought kills him.

✮⋆˙

GOD that got sad really fast. im sorry for the trauma gene. and i'm sorry for giving you another reason to hate trains cough cough @sethlost cough cough

JOKES ASIDE thank you so much for this question anon. i think by writing this all out, i have a much better grasp of gene as a person and the actual impact his mother had on him. this was such an important question and also SO fun to answer so thank you so much!!!!!

[fairytaleinagem]

currently dying of "creativity under my skin but no motivation in my soul" disease, anyways here's a short story and a new divider! testing smth out for my post aesthetics

TW: SMOKING (though not very detailed)

Despite the looming deadline of another report of Zenith's progress (both in skill and memory recovery), Andrei couldn't help but stop at the sound of laughter, raucous and echoing from one of the various rooms within the Training District. His brows furrowed. For once, he wanted to join in. To smoothly enter whatever conversation was happening and to laugh with others. Make them laugh, maybe. God, wouldn't that be a shift in energy? Something that many of the others say he lacks.

And that urge is probably why he found himself walking into a room, peeking around the corner to see those who were scheduled to tutor Zenith today; Aeva, Akina, and Marcelo. It was more likely that they volunteered—they were always around the kid, flocking around them like moths to a lamp. That, and their evident skill of melee and physical attacks. Zenith had yet to fully take down Marcelo, but they have proven themself to be a quick learner, lasting longer and longer each fight that was initiated. They might even be able to move up to Aeva's level soon.

"Researcher Andrei. Were we too loud again?" a flat voice snapped him out of his slight daze, and he found himself wondering when he had walked right up to the four, standing behind them with his arms crossed. Zenith stared at him, dark green eyes staring into his own green ones.

"Oh, Andrei! Didn't notice you were around the District! What's up, man?" Marcelo greeted, a toothy grin spreading across his face as he wrapped a slightly sweaty arm around his shoulders. He grimaced at the feeling of fabric being dampened by it, but he shook it off like he shrugged off Marcelo's arm.

"I was on my way to send in a report, but you seem particularly joyous today. Any reason for that?" he asks, raising an eyebrow, looking at Akina for an answer.

"Hah! We're just teaching Zen to axe throw! And suffice to say, they're doing a great job at it!" she exclaims, a sunny grin on her face. It matches Marcelo's, and soon Aeva's face begins to shine with a similarly bright smile.

"Hell yeah they are. Pretty sick at aiming, I'd say. Almost better than I am," Aeva said, punching Zenith's arm with a wink. A short, nervous chuckle leaves them, and Andrei could almost feel the sharp pain that definitely goes through their arm.

"Hm. Mind if you show me?"

A possible update to the report that was due soon—he was glad that he tends to write notes as he goes, he couldn't imagine the stress that would be coursing through his veins if he didn't.

Zenith nods, hefting an axe nearby with two hands, before walking a bit away from the group. They stand a few feet away from the target board, and a dense aura of immediate focus and calculation rippled throughout the air, entering Andrei's head. A familiar feeling.

"The use of a Special Skill?" he muttered, brows furrowing as he noted it down in the holographic report. This new development could help lead towards finding an identity match for Zenith—something the Conglomerate has been waiting on for weeks. Impatient bastards. It was also an update on their progress. Signs of a Special Skill could help progress them even further than they were originally! The four watched as the axe was thrown, landing directly in the middle.

Bullseye.

Aeva, Akina, and Marcelo cheered, rushing over to jostle the poor kid around. They cheered and laughed, much like they did earlier when he was merely passing by.

Despite his stable position as a researcher and Epitome within the Company, Andrei couldn't help but feel…hurt. Something inside him ached. His arms twitched as he barely suppressed the urge to jump on the four in a giant hug, no matter if three of them were much taller than he was. With clenched fists, he begins to back away. Back out of the room. Out of the identical white hallways that were beginning to become blurry, and out of the nearly never ending Training District entirely. By the time he stepped foot inside the Residential District, the ache had grown into something terrible. His lungs stuttered as he Flicked into his room, and he could barely feel the fabric of the bed that he fell into. There was no telling how long he laid there, eyes wide with an emotion that was entirely new to him. No. He knew what it was. What was it doing within him? Poisoning his mind, so quickly and quietly?

A dizzying sit-up later, he yanked the bedside drawer open, fingers fumbling as he nearly dropped the box of Vigorettes and lighter. He pulled a Vigorette out and lit it, inhaling the smoke as quickly as he could.  He nearly choked on it. The uncharacteristic panic smoothed out into a careless daze the longer he smoked.

Maybe this is why the others said he had no energy. It was all put into throwing away any feeling anything other than peace.

Only the faint purple light of the Vigorette flame and dark blue of the report lit up his room. He sent both away with a wave of a hand, before landing back into the soft pillows of his bed.

[fallowhearth]

Every so often the old humanities vs stem education discourse comes around again, sometimes with new flavours like compulsory humanities classes would stop weapons manufacturers, or only stem grads can get jobs, or whatever the new thing is. And as someone who has studied in both fields, the whole argument is so overegged and pointless. They're not that different!

I started with a Biology degree, transferred to a double Arts Sciences program, completed most of Science, but didn't like the day-to-day work of careers in Bio so I completed only the Arts (History) degree. I then did postgraduate study in History, but again did not like the day-to-day work. During this time I did however get a related parttime job with work I liked very much, which led me circuitously to my current career in tech (which I also like very much). As you can see I had difficulties committing to a path. But I'm happy where I ended up.

The thing is - ok, the domain knowledge is different, but they both teach broadly equivalent soft skills. Your career post graduation is unlikely to use the domain knowledge but will use the soft skills. Also, it's been the norm for ages that students are expected to take classes outside of their main subject area. Stem students take humanities classes all the time. Once they've understood the different requirements for writing style etc, they can and do succeed in those classes. And the reverse is also true. Undergraduate classes are just not that harrowing.

Stem students taking humanities classes do not, however, magically acquire Good Politics (whatever that means to the discourser). Unfortunately neither do humanities students! I heard (and participated in and led) a lot of deeply stupid class discussions! Arts is also, like, not a hard degree to get into in most places. You have a broad range of aptitudes and preparednesses and then a broad range of outcomes in terms of how much benefit the student got from the material (and the former and latter aren't straightforwardly connected). Ps get degrees!

It's also awful when people imply that any kind of university education is necessary for someone to be a good person, or an interesting person, or whatever else. I enjoyed it, am glad I did it, but there are plenty of other people who spent their time on other worthwhile things. They're not deficient in some way because they prioritised other things, or were forced by circumstance to make other choices. Also, both the soft skills and domain knowledge can be acquired in other ways. People can and do self-teach. Or learn on the job. Or any number of other means of acquiring the same stuff I got via higher ed. You'd also be amazed at how many people graduate without having learned any of that. Many students functionally major in doing drugs and hanging out (somewhat guilty myself).

I just wish people would stop trying to turn stem and humanities into oppositional categories. They broadly overlap in practice.

[dream-meister-translations]

CYRUS - VOICE COLLECTION

━

"I need more training than anyone else…I'm not a strong knight by any means…"

"……Are you having fun with me? Why are you laughing….That was a serious question….You're an odd one…"

"I can't forget the vase I saw the other day. The shape, color, and texture….Everything about it was supreme."

"I can't think of anything to talk about…Can you pick a topic?"

"There are still things to protect."

"I have to become stronger."

"Your dedication and support of the Meisters is heartwarming to see. I am so glad that you were the one who landed the job as guild keeper."

"You make me feel strangely empowered…I want to protect everything with this power…I want to protect you too…"

"I do not wish to fight needlessly, however, I will continue to wield my sword if it is to protect you and my comrades."

"You have courage and a strong heart. As a fellow member of the Order, I look forward to working with you again in the future."

"I'm afraid my presence here will put a damper on the festive atmosphere. But, I will do my duty to the best of my ability."

"I want to protect your carefree smile."

"Watch your step when you get out of the carriage."

"Nobody is ever going to hurt you."

"Gather round, guardians of the moon. My friends will not be harmed."

"….No. I'm not angry. This is how I always am."

"If it's convenient for you, invite me again."

"I just finished my mission. I think I can take it easy for a little while."

"Are you not interested in hearing about my missions?"

"If that's not what you want to hear it's fine. I don't know what else to talk about."

"…..Why are you staring at me?"

"When I'm being watched, I feel uneasy…"

"Is there something you want me to do? I'm sorry, I'm not very good at guessing."

"You keep staring at my face, is there something funny about it?"

"When we were little, Emilio and I used to have staring contests. …I miss doing that."

"What's up? Did you just call for me?"

"No, I wasn't ignoring you…I was just waiting for you to tell me your request."

"You don't have to call me that many times. I heard you the first time."

"…Sorry. I don't know what you're looking for…"

"If you want someone to talk to, you should find someone else."

"……………….?"

"I usually walk alone. It feels strange to walk with someone else like this."

"You're having a good time with me? How strange…"

"It's nice to spend time like this with you once in a while."

"After taking a break I always train twice as hard."

"How do I spend my time off? I read a lot of novels."

"When I have time off I try to keep up with my training. I'm still a work in progress."

"Hm…When I have time off I clean my room and polish my vases."

"Why are you asking me what I like to do with my free time? No, I'm not offended…I was just genuinely curious."

"You want to know more about me? ……..What an odd one."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to know what you do with your free time."

"Vases are great. You can see the life of the person who owned it, or the time period, just by looking at their shape and color."

"Vases…!? Yes, I like them a lot. They don't have to be expensive. I can spend all day looking at them…"

"You're talking about vases? You're interested in them too? That's…Nice to hear for a change."

"I'm sorry…I talked about vases for a long time…Was it boring?"

"You want to hear more…? Are you sure…?"

"Okay, then let's talk. I am particularly fond of this vase. It is hundreds of years old…"

"You want me to teach you self-defense? I feel like there's someone else who would be more qualified."

"If you encounter a dangerous situation, you should first consider running away."

"I'll play the role of the thug, you deal with me."

"When your arm is grabbed, you can easily escape by twisting your elbow like this."

"Okay, how would you react if someone grabbed you from behind like this? ….Why is your face getting red…?"

"Emma…? Why are you suddenly so quiet…?"

"I see you're working late…Don't work too hard, okay?"

"Are you having conversations with Emilio like this…? No, I'm not upset, I'm just curious."

"How many times have we gone out like this…?"

"Give me your hand, Emma. If we hold them together like this, I'm sure we won't lose each other."

"I really don't want to go home, but I probably should…"

"Spending time with you is so peaceful…I think I'm gonna let this time get the better of me."

"Why are you holding my hand…? No, it's not that I don't like it, I was simply surprised."

"Your hands are so small…They're likely to break if I apply too much pressure, so I'll be careful."

"I'm a little worried about hurting your hand."

"All I want is to protect you and my friends."

"It's strange…When you're next to me, I feel so peaceful."

"Do I look tired? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I'll be fine."

"Even when I don't speak, you seem to understand me."

"I want to protect you from all dangers."

"Rely on me whenever you are in pain."

"Are you cold? I can lend you my jacket."

"…You haven't let go of me this whole time. No…I don't mind."

"I feel like I'm keeping you to myself…It makes me feel a little guilty."

"I'm not good at talking, but when I'm with you I can't seem to keep my mouth shut."

"This sword was given to me by my father. It's called the Demon Sword, it cuts through all things."

"I want to use it to protect, not to hurt."

"Aren't you afraid of my sword? Everyone around here is afraid of it, but not you. You're an odd one.

"If I were Emilio I would be able to escort you effortlessly…But…"

"Your eyes look straight through me and never fear me…"

"You got me a gift for my birthday? It's a great honor."

(gift like) "This is my favorite…I'll accept it gratefully."

(gift normal) "The real pleasure of gift giving is that you get something you wouldn't choose for yourself."

(gift dislike) "I…Don't know what to do with something like this…But you gave it to me…So, thanks…"

"I was on a mission the other day and came across a shop and found this. Thought you might like it."

━

EMILIO : Cyrus, with me as the Sun Knight and you as the Moon Knight, let's make sure to fulfill our missions. CYRUS : Yes…I'll keep training so I can catch up to you, brother.

━

EMILIO : I'll pave the way! CYRUS : Emilio…Don't do anything rash

━

EMILIO : Cyrus, thanks for your help. CYRUS : Oh, uh….You too…

[dragontamerno3]

DS9 S2E16 - Shadowplay

This episode was so sweet! I'm not sure if I'd say this is my favorite of Odo so far but its definitely one of the top five. I am a little unsure on how much "Odo is a real boy" that I can take, though, especially since we just did that whole deal with Data. It feels different enough that I'm not actually too bothered by it yet but it is sorta pulling my out of the story each time so we'll see if I get sick of it lol

I hadn't considered a whole society of holograms and the folks really took it extremely well, all things considered, but it was overall a nice episode, I think. Personally if someone said I was living in some kind of simulation or if I wasn't real I'd probably start walking around screaming "end program" to shut it down, but that's very much just a me thing.

Because of the weird acceptance and a few other things (Kira's investigation/hunt to stop Quark, Kiara's sex life, etc) that made the pacing on this episode to me. I mean, it was fine, I was engaging with it no issue but it did feel like it jumped around a bit.

On a side note: Bashir mentioning how Garak is teaching him spy stuff made me squee. The boyfriends are too cute.

Before the reveal of holograms, I kind of thought they were in some kind of city with an invisible barrier and the others had left. By force, by weird subconscious impulse, or completely voluntary, that part was uncertain, but I would not have guessed holograms.

Odo with Taya was adorable af and it started out so subtle. He seemed more or less indifferent towards her just like he is with most people and then she basically made him her best friend and he melted into the goo he is. It was super sweet. And I'm glad he shifted for her eventually. Even if she wasn't real, he grew attached.

In a way this episode kind of reminded me of the TNG episode where Data has been communicating with the alien child and he saves her from the erupting volcano planet but then has to wipe her memory of him. This time, though, Odo gets to keep his friend (that we'll probably never see again lol)

On the subplot side of things, I want to once again shout from the rooftops how good of a man and dad Benjamin Sisko is. He may have been pushing for Jake to get a job, which I find to be a little ick but experience is a great thing to have and a station like DS9 really can use all hands on deck sometimes, but he listens to his kid. Jake had every right to be nervous about admitting he didn't want to follow in his dads footsteps because life changing conversations like that are scary, but the way Sisko reacted? He didn't yell, his questions were all gentle and none of them were aggressive, leading, or accusatory, and it was clear that all of his attention was directed towards making sure Jake was happy. I love their relationship so much.

I also want to say Miles is a great dad/going to be a great dad when Molly is old enough for these kinds of conversations too. The way he helped Jake find the courage to talk to Sisko was sweet. And he was super patient with him while he learned a skill he knew next to nothing about.

All episodes should be character building but there are sometimes specific ones you can point to and show where the dynamics change and I think this is one of them.

7/10 - I was hesitant with this one but the character stuff was too good to mark any lower, I think

[moccahobi]

Yearly Toppers

Looking back at the data from 3 years, I wanted to honor and reflect on the top 3 fics from each year (2020, 2021, and 2022)! A note for 2022: I am highlighting the fics with the most notes at the current moment. I have fics that I’ve not posted yet and older fics will have an edge up on newer fics simply because of how time works.  

2020

Safety (Namjoon x Reader) 

Summery: You can’t lie to your soulmate. It was a fact that many people knew, including you. You just didn’t expect to find your soulmate during your night shift at the MSN book store you work at. You also didn’t expect them to be the Kim Namjoon, an up-and-coming star.

Angst, Fluff

I think something that struck me about this fic is it was my first time writing a soulmate au. I really enjoyed it and found the story something that I easily fell into. Just as I hope readers were, I found myself rooting for the reader in the climax and anxious with them as the show started! I’ve been meaning to write another soulmate au but I’ve simply not had time yet. Mayhaps next year I will try to!

Midnight Musings (Jungkook x Reader)

Summery: You just moved to Korea for a teaching job and on your first night, you decided to visit a local cafe. You even took a photo to commemorate the move! That photo actually lead to something very unexpected happening though.

Fluff, smut, a touch of angst

One of my first smuts! 2020 was truly a year of exploration for me! I think it was my first year trying mxm and branching out into got7 fics! I must admit, I don’t think I will write smut much more because though I am sex indifferent, the idea of sex really... I don’t enjoy it. It just sort of is something. I laughed all while writing this fic and my other smut. It was a fun experience and I greatly admire all smut writers but it isn’t something for me as a hobby writer.

Slow Mornings (Jungkook x reader)

Summery: You decide to make Jungkook breakfast in bed.

Fluff

Honestly. I was shocked by this looking back. I don’t often think of drabbles as stuff that really leads to much but please don’t underestimate the power of drabbles for getting eyes on your blog! It was a fun and short fic and I think it makes me want to get back into doing some drabbles! I’ve been thinking of how I want to start of 2023 and playing around with the idea of a drabble series. Maybe... if you all have drabble requests, I could take those instead!

2020 was truly a year of exploration for me. I had a lot of fun with all the stuff I wrote! It is quite fun to look back and see what range of stuff I did! Interestingly, the notes on these fics haven’t changed tons since I took note of them in 2020 but that’s ok. These stories hold a special place in my heart. Especially safety! 

2021

Taking it Slow (Namjoon x Reader)

Summery: Reading with Namjoon

Fluff

I had a lot of fun writing this piece. I started as half a page free write. Then I made it the length of a full page. Then I wrote it up on a google document and tried to double its length once again. I enjoyed it a ton and writing this piece made me feel quite calm! It was an attempt of mine to spark some creativity and while I found some creativity with writing this piece, I didn’t find much that carried over. 

A Spark in the Commons (Yugyeom x Reader)

Summery: You help an anxious deer shifter in the shifter union commons and a friendship buds.

Fluff

This might’ve been one of my first posted Got7 fics! What are my thoughts on it... 1) I am happy I started writing Got7! I really love them a ton and I am glad that I finally branched out again! I had leaned into BTS after starting to write for Seventeen. 7 is much less than 13 and only recently have I started branching out again! 2) I am... not the biggest fan of this fic. I’ve been open about my struggles with writing in 2021 so it isn’t personal to the event or anything like that... but I was using events to push me to write and while I am glad I wrote this and glad people enjoy it, I do not have a strong bond to it. 

Drawing Blood (Taehyung x Reader)

Summary: An attempt to get over a two year crush on your friend (and a suspected vampire) leads to interesting discoveries.

Fluff, Angst

I uh... remember making the graphic more than I remember writing this fic. TO BE FAIR! I WROTE 24 FICS IN 2021. TO NOT REMEMBER A FEW HAPPENS (plus I think because it was posted on sssc, I didn’t get the notifications of interest and thus had to check it rather than seeing it on my notif bar). That being said, I did have some fun writing this fic and when I look back, I am really curious about the world I was writing in. I think if I could go back and do this fic again, I would. I’d expand on it and add another plot that really highlighted the vampirism rather than just had it be a characteristic. It is 3.8k afterall. I wonder what more depth I could add to it if it became 8k! This fic was a gift for a dear friend of mine, @voiceswithoutlips. Potentially it could be something that I further expand on with Kas’s help!

A year of distance between me and 2021, I still don’t fully know how I feel about the year. There are stuff that I do hold dearly, but I really do think I was nearing or at burnout. I was tired and fried and I think it shows in my writing some. I wasn’t fried for the whole time but I was for a while. I think as well... I hold a lot of guilt for the year. As mentioned a few times on my blog, part of why I took time off from school early 2021 was because of a surgery and mental health struggles... last time I had a major surgery though, my writing surged forth like a protective barrier and this time... it got hurt with me. Again, I had fun and I look back on some of my stuff fondly but I also look back at stuff and wonder “when did I write this??” and I see the hurt and scared person I was. I see how I was struggling to cope and wishing desperately that my writing would be a safe space for me again while somewhere in me, I knew it wasn’t. 

2022

Heated Blanket (Jungkook x Reader)

Summery: After finals, you choose to take a nap. Your favorite heated blanket comes to join you.

Fluff

I posted this fic before I really started changing my writing habits... or at the very least, I wrote it before that happened. It was hard to write this fic on many layers. I was low motivation and energy, I was recovering from the first inflammation of my nerves, and I was battling the feeling of needing to do more. This fic was a gift to a good friend of mine ( @ditttiii) and I am really glad I managed to write something for her! It’s a fun little drabble!

A Story From a Different Time (Taehyung x Reader)

Summery:  Love. Love is such a wonder. Your love story is especially wondrous to your grandkids who love love as much as you and hang on to every word as you relive the time in your life as a teacher when you met a soft hearted tattoo artist.

Fluff, hint of angst

This fic was a year in the making! I started it sometime last year (maybe October? Or early November?) and had some bones of it created. That being said, I wasn’t happy with it. Throughout this year, I’ve worked on it bit by bit and tried hard to get it out in time for @taegularities birthday! Seeing it already able to make it to the top three was a shock because it’s only been a month or so (then again, most of my fics this year get like 10 notes or less so...). I am fairly happy with the writing process and how this fic came about! It’s full of tons of references and nods to Rid and I also got to write a fic that passes the Bechdel test this year (if you’ve not heard of it, essentially to pass it you need a woman talking to another woman about something other than a guy)! Having fics that pass the Bechdel test when I have women in my story is something I want to do more of (similarly, I want more representation of disabilities, sexuality, and of people all around the gender... cloud? I know spectrum is commonly used but like... it’s not really a spectrum so idk what to call it otherwise).

Let You Fly (Jimin x Namjoon)

Summery: Namjoon and Jimin have been together for only 7 months and it’s been near perfect. The two fit together wonderfully. All changes when Namjoon’s dream job offer slides itself into his inbox. He’d been eyeing the position in Japan for years… It wouldn’t be fair to Jimin to pack up his bags and join Namjoon, but it wouldn’t be fair to Namjoon to try to force him to stay. Instead, Jimin must let him fly.

Angst, hint of fluff

THIS FIC! I AM SO HAPPY THAT THIS FIC IS ONE ON THIS LIST! It’s based off of a song (Seven Months by Sunshine State) and I had so much fun writing this fic. This was written shortly after I realized something must change. I was very intentionally working on trying different things and I feel like it really paid off for this fic. I got immersed in it, made a playlist, made a graphic for it, did character interviews, and tried doing a teaser. Most of it’s notes came from BWC’s bookclub and honestly, I am so content with that because it came with people giving me their thoughts on it. It’s a brainchild of mine and I am so honored to have people share their thoughts on it and to have people read it!

It’s not lost on me that all the fics that are on my top 3 for 2022 are ones that were gifts or bookclub fics. Why do I think this is? Well... a multitude of reasons. 1) I posted half as much as I had in 2021 and 2020 (24 and 28 respectively in comparison to the 14 I posted this year). And almost half of what I posted (6 fics) were for my series A Fae’s Brew to Take You Away. Something I started 3/4 years ago and let collect cobwebs for two of those years. It gets less than 10 notes and half of the notes are just nets rebloging. Please know, I am ok with that. I am not complaining. I just want to finish this series. 2) Aside from ASFDT and Heated Blanket, all I wrote was MxM which doesn’t do well on tumblr. 3) I post infrequently. 14 fics is roughly 1 every month. I know I didn’t post that regularly though. And on tumblr, there’s an expectation to churn from readers. It’s social media. You’re rewarded for more posting. 4) I don’t get a lot of traction to my blog. I sit contently at 750 some followers and many of my fics don’t reach the top page (or if they do it’s only for a short time). 

That being said, keeping in mind the few notes and the traction being from other writers reblogging, I am really happy with the stuff that I’ve posted. I finished writing AFBTTYA so hopefully I will be able to edit and get to a point where I am posting something from it every month all next year! In the past few months, the amount I am writing has increased. I am feeling creative with what I am writing! I think that this devopment may take a bit of time to shine through on my blog because with series, I am trying to finish it before I start posting. I am trying to widdle away my 30+ wip list. I am still in school. I still have nerve inflammation. But I think this year has been a year of me trying to better my relationship with my writing. It will take time and I still struggle (just yesterday, after writing 3.5k the day prior, I got anxious about not writing that much again) but I am learning better coping strategies. In some ways, the low notes help because I can really work to untangle my love of writing and want to post from those notes which will hopefully help me keep that boundary if I get higher notes. 

I think I am going into 2023 excited for my writing. It’s refreshing. 

[pbandjesse]

I am very comfortable in my hammock right now. I hope that can continue and I can fall asleep easy tonight. Today is actually a pretty good day. I really felt like it was a solid day at camp where nothing really went wrong and it felt normal again. That was really nice.

I slept okay last night. I'm really glad I went home. I needed it. And when I woke up this morning my face felt very puffy. Which happens in the AC sometimes. But James was leaving early for some reason and I wanted to get up and give them a big hug before they left. They would leave while I was getting ready after saying goodbye and I took a few minutes to get myself together. And I said goodbye to sweet pea who seemed very distraught that I was leaving. And then I went to the car. I took a few minutes to sort myself out and while I was doing that I found that James had put a little gift in my backpack! They got me a new ring. It's a pinky ring and it's a spinning smileyface and once I have to smile on one side it's a frown. And it's so cute. I am a little worried because it fits me when my hands are swollen but it's a little loose one they're not so we'll see how that works out but it's very fun. Definitely not an everyday ring but I do like it a lot.

And the drive to Camp was fine. No traffic or anything. I got here right at 8:00. And everyone was down at flag or what is kind of flag now. Everything's weird about that but it's fine. I would get to work putting things away and setting things up but then we got a message in the group chat that I felt like was me getting in trouble when really apparently everybody thought it was them and I was just being paranoid but it kind of put me in a weird mood so I went for a walk and ended up running into Celia.

She went to a Fall out boy concert last night And I wanted to hear all about it but she said that while it was super super fun and she had a blast when she has a good time at concerts it's like she remembers getting to the venue and then blacking out and waking up hours later sweaty and hot in her car holding a new hat. And I thought that was hilarious. But we walked around and talked and I went to the nature lodge with her but soon I would have to go back to the art building to do my job. So I went back up here and got things ready.

I walked past the homestead animals and that's what I noticed that one of the chickens was outside of the enclosure! And so I started following her because I was like oh I should pick her up and put her back in but she wouldn't sit still long enough and so I tried calling Ty but then his phone was broken and so I didn't know what to do so I called CJ. And as CJ was running over to help me Annabelle came up and the three of us were able to corner her so I pick her up. And we got her back into her enclosure and kind of figured out what hole we think she made her way out of but she did not want to be out there. I'm glad she was okay. Tyler would come down not long after that. I walked up with Annabelle and shared with her a few more projects that I thought that she might enjoy teaching them and then I actually went to the art building. Closer to 9:45 than I would have liked but it's fine.

I had Tatiana count how many spoons we had left. And we really only had enough for today. I did not buy enough spoons. I really needed like 40 more. Which is a lot of spoons. I will try my best not to make this mistake again if we do this project next year. Which we might because it was very popular. But Tatiana says it's my fault because I kept letting people do two things but we didn't have enough spoons to start with. I really should have stopped letting people use two things in general when Joe gave us more wood. But I struggle with saying no because I want everyone to make art and have a good time. So I ended up taking 20 of the spoons and hiding them so that tomorrow we can have something. Even if it's not enough. I'm going to do my best to make what we have tomorrow work.

And the groups were great today. Woodlands was late. Not surprising. But when they came they did such a good job but they made me laugh so hard that I was literally crying. So what happened was there are two counselors. Jorge who I love and is wonderful. And a new counselor named Billy. He's also an international and he's very sweet. And the boys obviously adore both of them but the way that they show how much they adore them is that all they want to do is make art about them. And so half of the boys decided they were going to make Billy and the other half were going to make Jorge and then they would compare of who had the best ones. And I thought that was hilarious and I encouraged it so much. And at first it was great. I was outside helping Jorge paint his little walrus sculpture he had made and then The boys were showing me the very simple faces that they gave the spoons but they had Jorge's facial hair and eyebrows on it and I kept going oh my God the resemblance is uncanny. And just being very dead serious about it. And everything was going great. Until someone decided they needed to add arms to their Billy puppet.

And the arms were fine. They gave them muscles and it was very silly. And then they decided to give them legs. Turns out you cannot give spoon puppets legs because it just makes them look like they have penises and so I said that looked obscene you have to take those legs off and they're like no we like the legs and I said please remove the legs it looks so bad. And then they were like no and I said okay well can we put shorts on it. So they make a little pair of shorts but then it just looks like he has shorts on with his penis sticking out so I said okay we need to remove the spoon handle and so he broke it but then it just looked like a proportional penis and I was like no it's worse now so I tried to take the shorts off that they made but then that just left felt fuzz behind which made it look more realistic and I'm literally crying with tears laughing. It was so silly and I finally was able to make shorts in the front and back to cover up the Billy puppets penis. Because it was so horrific looking and I knew that I could not let that leave this building without at least telling their senior staff because I can't make people think that we did this on purpose It just happened to look that way. And first I forgot who was in charge of woodlands and I called Kieran and then he was like wait no I'm in not in charge and I was like okay and then called Tony and Tony ended up coming up and it was so funny and ridiculous. But I just can't believe how hard I was laughing cuz it was so silly.

Once they left though the pioneer boys came and they did a great job and it was totally fine. And then it was lunch time. And lunch there was so much better today because not only do they have pasta they had a meat sauce and a vegetable sauce and I was so happy and it was spicy and it was really nice. I had two pieces of garlic bread and I sat outside and it was really good.

And after talking with friends for a while I headed back to sit in my hammock for a little while and just cool off and be sleepy. Because I was very sleepy. I was really in a good mood though and so far the day I've been really great. And honestly it continued to be that way. The kids in the afternoon were lovely and so many of them really enjoyed the project and that was really encouraging. The counselors were mostly really great. And I got some knitting done and I had some laughs with the kids It was a really good day.

When the stockade boys came they weren't as interested in the middle casting as they were in the pendants which is fine. Not everybody's going to be into everything and I'm really glad that they like the metal snapping. I will for sure have to get more metal discs so I'll try to send that to Elizabeth soon so that I can have that next week as well. I also would like to come up with one or two more simple metal projects but I'm not entirely sure what I want to do yet because one of my ideas was something like riveting but not positive that we would be able to safely do that. So we'll see what I can think of. But the stockade boys were fun and we had a good time and then we had our last group of the day.

And honestly it won't really fast the whole day did. It was a good day and I felt really happy. Tatiana was a lot of fun and she made a really fun SpongeBob square thing. She's very good at stuff and I don't know she realizes how quick she is to pick up on things because she's a smart cookie. And I'm going to miss her. Because tomorrow is going probably be my last day with her unless there's a spot that opens up on the YLP roster next week. Sometimes they don't make it through the first week so we'll see.

I left her because I found a missing water bottle and I ran after the last group to give it to them. And the little girl said that she was so glad I did because it was her favorite and she would have been so sad. And so I continued on and I went to change into my bathing suit. I really wasn't planning on swimming. It wasn't really hot up here today at all but on the walk to the pool house where I had just planned on taking a shower there's one section of road that just gets so hot that I was like you know what I am going to get in the pool. But then I only did a couple laps after sitting in the code for 10 minutes. I'm trying to practice some of the arms swimming that they're going to want for The Camp award. Because I still think it would be funny to do that if I get pregnant next year. But I'm not a very strong swimmer. Like I swim fine but not on the surface. I swim really well under the water. So we'll have to see what I can do with that. So my little daily or some ideally swims will hopefully build up some strength.

I talked to the little girls getting ready for pool canoes. They were being naughty and not listening about getting into the water without a lifeguard. Just because I'm doing it doesn't mean you can. And then as they got the boats in the water I got out.

Tyler was there talking to some of the other counselors and he told me that because his phone is broken he's not positive how he's going to use GPS to get home tomorrow which I am now worried about too!! I don't have any way to help the situation but I really hope that he can figure it out because that would make me very scared too That's a very long drive! It's like 2 hours for him.

I would take a shower though and I was fine but the water was way too hot. And I couldn't get it to change from one temperature. So I just took the best shower I could and got dressed. I used the new leaving conditioner I got which smelled very nice and then I texted CJ that I was coming back to arts and crafts because she had wanted to talk to me.

And she would come soon and we would sit and talk and Tony would join us for a few minutes but then he left and me and CJ made her a stamped medal piece. And that was fun and then we headed to dinner where I helped put cups on every single table. 8 cups on 30 tables. I had to count out all of the eight and make stacks and that made it a lot easier for me but man it took a while.

And dinner was fine. It was like barbecue chicken and the vegetarian option was like quinoa which I don't love but it was fine. I really like the cornbread. I wasn't actually that hungry so I didn't care that much and I still had the goza and falafel ball that I brought from home as a just in case food. Which I actually still have which I can eat I guess tomorrow even though it's been sitting on my desk all day. Not the best food safe practices.

After dinner I went to the office so I could sit and wait for the snowball truck to come. I read my book for a little while which is very good. It's about a little girl on the Titanic which is wild. So far so good hopefully she doesn't die at the end. And then I headed outside to sit on the porch once I got bored with the air conditioner and Alexi and Elizabeth were eating dinner out there and I was talking to them about the Native American program a couple other things and then we heard the truck drive up and I was like yes! And Elizabeth was like wait a second have you been sitting here the whole time waiting for that that it's hilarious. And I said yes I have I want to be the first one there and I didn't want to bum rush the guy so I just sat weed for a second but then CJ beat me to it! So I ran down to be second and then CJ got hers and I tried a new flavor. It's not new to the truck but it's new to me it's called tigers blood. And it's strawberry and coconut. I wish it was a little tangier but it was nice. I still like pina colada better. Still good and maybe next week I'll try a new flavor. Switch it up a little. Apparently he also has fancy flavors in the back like Mai Tai and lavender iced tea.

I went back up to arts and crafts where I had potato chips that were spicy and we're very nice with my snowball. And I sat and read my book. Eventually a counselor came up to ask if I could fix his pants that he ripped and I said of course. And I would eventually get into my hammock and just chill for a while. When I did finally get up I found that CJ was sitting quietly in the art building by herself. She looks a little pale and she said that she had taken probably too much ADHD medication and I was like well that's not good. And we walked to the nurse's office to use the bathroom together. Where we passed the nurse and she asked if we were okay and I said CJ says she's dying. And she's like no I didn't! I said okay. And after we use the bathroom we came back up to the art building where we talked for a while but CJ didn't seem like she was feeling great and so while I was sitting there fixing the pants she said she wanted to actually see the nurse and I was like okay let's walk together so I walked with her down to the nurse's office where she decided she was going to lay on the gravel while we waited. And she keeps saying she's okay but she was a little pale and she worried me and I think that made my stomach hurt. So once the nurse got her and everything seemed okay I came back up to arts and crafts.

I finished fixing the pants and then I realized her backpack was up here so I texted her I was bringing it down and I walked back across the field. Where I found a frog! And I held towed for a while and he was not thrilled but I was excited to hold a toad. And I passed off her backpack and then I came back up here where I decided to brush my teeth and start getting ready to lay down.

And I've been laying here for a while now. I did sweep the building a little bit and I picked my outfit for tomorrow. Put a couple things in my bag that I'm taking home with me. And now I am just cozy and rocking myself and my hammock gently. It's not squeaking which is nice. Hate when it squeaks. But now it is time for rest. I'm hoping tomorrow is a good day. I'm going to stay to help with pick up again down by the bears but I don't think I'll stay for the ceremony. Because this is actually going to happen this time! We didn't get a first ceremony because of the rain. But it's supposed to actually go on and I have to make sure everyone parks at the right place. Fingers crossed!

I hope you guys all have a great night tonight. I hope that you are very cozy wherever you are and you're taking care of yourself. Until next time. I love you all.

[razieltwelve]

A Welcome Surprise

As some of you probably know, I regularly trained in martial arts for around twenty years before a slew of injuries made that difficult to continue. I even helped out as an instructor regularly. In fact, on more than one occasion, I was asked to take over the majority of teaching duties while the head instructor was away for a couple of weeks.

One of the reasons the head instructor asked me to handle those duties while he was away was because he and I had known each other for basically all of those twenty years. Not only did he know I could handle things from a skill perspective but he also knew that I’d be able to handle the teaching and administrative side of things too.

After I stopped training regularly, I didn’t spend all that much time with my former martial arts club. A big part of that was simple life doing its thing. I was at a stage in my education and career where all of the spare time I had was being consumed by things related to my future profession. Nevertheless, I still saw him and other people from my old club on a semi-regular basis.

When COVID happened, I lost contact with most of them since Australia went into lockdown. Once lockdowns were lifted, I ran into my old instructor, and I was shocked by what had happened.

Due to a variety of unfortunate health problems, he had been forced to give up the club. He had also put on a lot of weight, lost the ability to find another job, and was struggling from a housing standpoint. It was shocking. He had always been an extremely fit and strong person. But when I saw him, he looked very unwell. Even before he said anything, I could tell that he was ill. But worst of all was the look in his eyes. This was a man who I had never known as anything but strong and determined, yet he looked so exhausted, sad, and defeated.

We talked for a while before going our separate ways, but I’ll admit I was very worried about him. It’s one thing to be physically unwell, but that look in his eyes... it was not a nice thing to see at all.

I bumped into him again recently, and I was shocked again... but in a good way.

He was walking his dog, and he looked a lot fitter. Most importantly, however, there was a big smile on his face, and his eyes were completely different. He had the look of a man who was happy and enjoying life, a man who had gotten over his troubles and found a new way forward. We didn’t speak for long. I ran into him while running errands, and neither he nor I could really afford to take too much time away from what we were doing. All the same, though, I was very, very happy to see him doing better.

Sometimes, life just sucks, but sometimes, it surprises you in a good way.

I might not longer practice martial arts much at all, but those years of training were extremely important in making me who I am today. I’m glad to see my instructor who did a lot for me over the years doing better, and I really hope life only continues to improve for him.

[klaineharmony]

Happy New Year 2023!

Oh, my dears. It has been such a long 2022. I hope that you are still here, and feel loved and safe wherever you are. I have missed being here and seeing all of you.

I've been seeing a lot of posts re: the end of 2022, and how people have made it through the year. I have many thoughts about my own year of 2022. On the grateful side, Spouse and I are both still here. We did some major repairs to the house this year (to the tune of $11K!), with more to come in the spring of '23. We both have still managed to avoid Covid, almost three years in, and we are grateful for that. We are both gainfully employed, and have great coworkers who make our jobs more enjoyable. 

However, 2022, from my own perspective, was still quite hard. The spring '22 semester was the worst I've had in 19 years of teaching, save perhaps my first semester as a full-time, TT prof - and that was more about me being overwhelmed and exhausted, rather than about not knowing how to reach the students. Spring '22 students were comatose. They wouldn't talk, wouldn't participate. It took me until midterms to have a full conversation with most of them. And once they started talking to me, it was clear they were just as depressed, exhausted, and overworked as I was. They had so much on their plates - work, school, illness, injury. I kept trying to be flexible, to give them as much grace and help as I could. Some of them did better. Some of them just made it across the finish line - but they made it.

Summer was, at least, a little more restful than usual. I was so tired that I absolutely had to take a few weeks and just sleep, recover, work in the yard, do all the things that had fallen by the wayside at home during the school year. It wasn’t enough, but it was at least something. 

Fall '22 was hard, again. The students seem more cheerful and engaged, something for which I am very thankful. They did a really excellent job in my classes, for the most part, and I was glad they enjoyed themselves and learned new things, for I didn't feel like I was as good a teacher as I could have been. I had a D & C with my OBGYN early in fall term, to check for anything that looked precancerous or cyst-like (thankfully all came back clear) and had four days of recovery, with another week of moving more slowly than usual. Spouse and I were both sick twice, before and after Thanksgiving. And then my Grammy,  my mother's mother, passed away on Nov. 5th, 12 days before her 96th birthday. She was my last living grandparent, and it's been harder than I expected. I was so, so glad that she was no longer in pain and back with her family (she was the last of five siblings to pass), but I miss her.

More joy - Spouse and I took our first real vacation in about eight years, and went out to Washington State to visit my uncle and aunt, as well as my bestie and her family.  It was a wonderful vacation - peaceful and relaxing - and something we desperately needed after the turmoil and exhaustion of the past few years. Yule and the end of the year were also very peaceful, and again I felt thankful. Peace and rest are so needed right now - there is never enough, but it makes the moments where peace and rest can be had all the more precious. Here's hoping that 2023 brings more joy and less stress, more peace and less worry.

I am hoping to be here more in 2023. I miss being here. I miss you all. And I haven’t meant to be away for so long, but I hope to be here more and be more present in fandom more broadly. I hope this finds you making a peaceful transition to 2023.

[originalwinnercheesecake]

My thoughts on the 4 new sequels Disney Sequels coming out.

Well for one thing I am glad that they are at least all CGI.  3 of those 4 franchises I do not ever want to see live action versions of, and a live action frozen only has the potential to possibly be a little bit cool. ( rule one: do not let M Knight Shamaulon direct it).

But here are my thoughts on them in defending order.

Zootopia 2: Yes please, make a Zootopia 2 and a 3 after that! Judy and Nick are two cutely designed characters, with fun personalities, who at the end of the first one both become investigative cops, who live in a huge metropolises with all different types of animal and multiple different climates and terrains. There so much sequel potential in that set up, and hundreds of years worth of crime history that can be adapted into it.

Here's a thought, since Judy was the POV character in the last one, can Zootopia two be primarily told from Nick's point of view. Maybe a string of crimes starts happening in his old neighborhood and Nick and Judy go to investigate it, and being there stirs up a bunch of old memories for him. Or the the original concept for Zootopia was going to be about Nick opening up a special theme park for predators where they would be able to safely let loose some (originally predators were going to have to wear "taming collars" around prey animals, that shocked them when they got to excited). Maybe the theme park still gets opened by an old friend of Nick's and he and Judy are charged with keeping it safe from Merryweather supporters. Like I said the possibilities are endless.

Inside Out 2. This one has the potentially to be really good, but could also blow. Inside is a really colorful, cute, and thoughtful look at what it's like to be a preteen child struggling with changes. In it Riley moves from her childhood home to a new apartment in a city far away. Riley has a really hard adjustment to her knew area in the beginning. The movers screw up and lose track of her stuff so she cannot make her new room look like home. Her Dad’s forced to start his new job early and mom is swamped trying to sort out the move, so they do no have as much time to spend with her as hey did before. Last she very quickly becomes homesick for her old friends and favorite places. Mom tells Riley that everything will be better once they get things sorted out, so Riley tries to do her parents a favor by burying her feelings and just smiling until everything gets better but that just makes things worse for her and everyone. The movies climax is when she finally admits how hard a time she is having to her parents and asks for comfort.

The imagery in the movie is cool to. with the core memory islands, the shelf of memories that look like brain matter, train of thought, Riley’s imagination, How Joy and Sadness are consistently thwarted for getting back to HQ until the end, because Riley is still suppressing those emotions. Even right down to that annoying gum jingle that keeps getting sent up to HQ, a.k.a stuck in Riley’s head...Basically a lot of time and care; research into stress, depression, and preteen psychology; as well as different animation techniques and metaphors went into showing you as apposed to telling you what Riley was feeling on the inside and the out... This movie went on to be used as an reference for teaching a lot of kids and some older people how to put their feelings into words: ‘Which emotion do you think is at the center of your control panel right now jimmy? Okay what is that emotion concerned with now?”. I also swear remember a college professor/counselor telling me and a group of people once that the reasons Riley’s core emotions were Disgust, Anger, Fear, Sadness, and Joy was that the first four are all the stages you go through before you feel happy again.

Riley was 11 during Inside out and turned 12 at the end... A sequel will probably take place when she is in High school, so like 14-17 years old. So that means she will be dealing with tests, acne, definitely boys, school dances, maybe learning to drive if she is old enough, possibly health class, Unfortunately maybe people making fun of her for liking a traditionally male sport (Hockey). I do not think the movie would age her as far a 18 and going off to college, not in a second movie at least. It probably will not be as cute as 1 because Teenagers are not as cute as kids. Riley aging into a high school student concerns me for another reason. High school is one of the most cliche settings yo can put a movie/show/media piece in. There is very little an audience hasn’t seen 100 times before. Inside Out 2 will work only if Riley and her emotions are able to maintain and expand the level of character they all had in Inside out 1. It will work only if the writers and story board artists can once again show the audience something new and fun, while also being serious when it needs to, heartfelt, and clever. IF it fails at all of that the movie will bomb. If it only does a passably job it will probably still get low ratings and reviews because people are of course going to compare it against the success of the first one. That’s really what makes sequels controversial. Sequels are good when their aim is to raise the bar from the first movie, not just cost on the first’s popularity. We will see which one Inside Out 2 does.

Frozen 3. Speaking of Movie franchises with a really good first movie, then a sequel that just rode the popularity of the first. Frozen one was a really good movie. It was. Ignoring the over saturation of the market afterwards, ignoring how overplayed “Let It Go” and other songs were, Frozen is actually a great movie. The actors are great, the characters funny and likable. The scenery is beautiful, the story is a classic with what was at the time a modern twist (that got repeated in many movies after), and the plot suspenseful. I remember my one critic of it when I saw it in theaters with friends was that I wished they had spaced the songs out a little bit more, because I had noticed that there were a bunch of them in the first half then none in the second half. Then there was Frozen 2. Frozen two’s plot was confusing. It tried to make the audience not want Arendelle to be saved, when the goal of the group setting out was to protect their Kingdom. It could not managed its cast size and just dropped characters midway through the movie until the very end (Hey where did Kristoff go?). Lastly at its core Frozen was about a pair of sisters growing up together and trying to help each other out. The second movie had both girls as adults and ended with them separating. Elsa can control her powers now and for some poorly explained reason decided she would rather live by herself in the woods. Anna and Kristoff got married and were crowned the King and Queen, which means their story is effectively finished and they probably will not be going on adventures anymore. They do have a Kingdom to run. What’s left to do during a third movie?

I know a lot of people would like Elsa to meet a nice women and enter into a queer relationship. While that would be wonderful a.) Pixar’s censors may not be there yet by the time the movie comes out. b.) Writing a women would have chemistry with Elsa, be patient enough to allow her to open up on her own time (she is so shy and introverted), tough enough to handle life in the woods and the occasional flash blizzard, and has the social skills to win over Anna (most defiantly a requirement for dating Elsa) is a really tall order for a character who comes in so late in the franchise. c.) lets say the censors allow it and the writers put in the work to create this absolutely amazing women. That’s still not really enough to fill the 2 hour time slot for the movie, and what would the other characters be doing at this time?    

Toy Story 5. Why? WHY??? It’s finished! That Movie Line is Finished! It’s been finished twice now? There is room for little kitty books and more 2-8 minute shorts on Disney+. IF done right then maybe a season or two long cartoon of Woody an Bo’s gang touring the parks of he world to be played with by kids and helping carnival toys that want to go home with needy children. Buzz and Jessie could show up from time to time when Bonnie’s family vacation in specials. But the movie Franchise is absolutely finished!

From what I saw Toy story 5 is hinted to be about Buzz. Okay Buzz’s arc was finished after Toy story 2. Movies 3 and 4 were super hard-pressed to find ways to include him. While 3′s focus on his crush on Jessie was sweet and his “Spanish mode switch” was really funny; 4′s subplot of him being confused as to what Woody meant by “your inner voice”  only served to anger his fans, who all pointed out how he was never THAT stupid. Is he supposed to be a lead toy now that Woody is gone? Lead toys are a child’s favorite toys right? Bonnie’s favorite toys are Forky, Dolly, and Buttercup (her unicorn). She loves toys that are simple, whimsical, and she gets to decide what roles they take on in her games. While Buzz held her interest longer than Woody (she doesn’t have a female Space Ranger to play with instead) he has never been one of her favorite toys.

The only thing I still want for Buzz is one more 8 minute short similar to Bo’s Lamp life. Show a montase of him with Andy, Bonnie, and a coupleother owners before he becomes an “old, toy” that no longer holds the lasting intrest of small children, so he joins Woody’s band of “lost” or retired toys.

[doriana-gray-games]

Collection of asks !

Hi! Don't want to clog up your dashboards so I am answering some asks that have piled up while I was a bit absent <3

(Game update status: both going good and bad. Stuck on this one scene, but I am starting to see the end in the tunnel lol. Have been trying a new approach where I don't edit while writing :0 it's hard but does increase productivity! I just hope the quality isn't too bad after it lol. You can tell me once the update is out haha!)

Bahaha Love that! W deserves all the love <3

😏😏😏 Watson likes all of Sherlock, tho I'm sure they are partial to some... parts hehe

But the reaction is not new!! Tho I know a lot of people miss it (there's a few easily missed things tbh haha, maybe not optimal, but I find it fun to hide little things). There's one reaction with small waist too !

lolol I see it. I have a scene in my notes where MC basically has to teach H to sit on (and touch) grass...

@jumpyhamster Maybe? Not sure yet, sorry!

Ah--was it so obvious i'm not english haha! Yeah, I might as well tell you all too (despite my best efforts of internet anonymity, I talk too much on discord lol) I am Swedish. So if I make some weird English mistake or miss some quintessential British thing the MC or NPCs would know plz let me know! <3

Aww I think I know who this is!!! 💛💛💛 hearts right back!!!!

@4332 <3<3<3 I'm so glad you liked it!! (I don't recommend it to 12 years old tho! might be too adult for that haha)

<3 <3 <3

I am for sandwich solidarity in all forms haha! XD

Hopefully MC will be able to get them a not-chewed on sandwich soon <3

It seems I can't paste more images sorry-- One similar question I got was what the elegant body type looks like:

Currently the body types won't assume a lot much more than the word and possibly synonyms to the word. That's because it's so subjective. So--if I were to make further content about it I probably will have to ask further questions about that setting <3 I do think it would be fun and interesting to do!

Elegant, is again, what you want it to mean. But generally I've heard it to mean semi-long limbs with "ideal" like proportions. And in mass perhaps somewhere between tall-athletic and lean. I personally think of grace kelly I think

Love this game and the new details you added <3 this is definitely a spoilery question but man, i gotta ask... what happened in Lestrade's life that to made him so... unhappy? Careless with his own wellbeing? :(

<3

A previous answer I have given: "Just a spiral of things. Life turning the wrong way, things looking bad on the horizon, failing to take care of themselves so they have poor chances of climbing out or realising they even can." In addition to this. This had not started when MC and L first met. And there was a catalyst event, that set it off, and in a way MC is involved in this.

💖💝💕💯💐

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

you deserve to go to jail for making me choose between two cute love interests... that aside, your game has helped me a lot while struggling with mental health problems. which sounds a little silly but genuinely it warms my heart when i don't feel well. so thank you for creating something so wonderful. + i know most asks here are RO-related but im also very excited to see how the story goes!

Gosh Anon, you gave me a heart-attack with those first few words haha-- but to the rest, thank you so much <3<3<3 That's very sweet. I'm really glad and honoured to help in anyway I can. There's a lot of plot coming anon! Don't you worry! :D

harrypotternerd934 asked:

I need to say that I'm absolutely amoured by your story. I really enjoy playing as Sherlock and I think you did a really great job at capturing the vibe of the setting.

Much love and further luck with your story 🤗

@harrypotternerd934 <3

Aww, thank you so much! <3<3<3

approxtwelveangrybees asked:

I need you to know that I had so much fun with the Victorian gazing in the first two chapters

@approxtwelveangrybees <3<3<3

Congratulations on the anniversary <3 the update was so good.. all the little reworked scenes... the love kernels... But wait, will there actually be a love triangle route!!!!?

Yeees <3 Lot's of them <3

phaedraismyusername asked:

My favourite line of the update - just a top tier IQ drop right there 😍 lol

The whole thing was so good! An absolute joy to read as always ❤️❤️❤️

@phaedraismyusername <3<3<3 You're a joy!!! <3<3<3 (I love how people are discovering the thigh line haha)

and to "The trio Lestrade/hungry tumblr anon" Thank you for your story <3

[rere-the-writer]

hey!! If it’s not too much to ask, could I request a kol x reader where the reader is a witch and a doppelgänger? Like somehow the reader and Elena are both doppelgängers, but after Klaus broke the curse the reader was able to live a fairly normal life in New Orleans, that is until Esther comes back. Maybe because of Klaus’ presence in Nola the reader has allied with Marcel for protection, resulting in her befriending Davina and encountering the newly resurrected kol? Kol attacks her when he sees her because he thinks she’s Elena, but when she overpowers him with her magic he realizes she’s not Elena. They eventually become friends and start to develop feelings for each other maybe? I hope that isn’t too specific. I really just would like something a little angsty and fluffy with witch! Kol. I really admire your work. It’s very uplifting and comforting, especially, your kol content. He’s my comfort character but I’ve exhausted the supply of fluffy kol fics 😅 Thanks! Make sure to take care of yourself, love ❤️

I'm glad you like my Kol. Time for some fluff for my baby boy.

Warnings- Fluff, Kol be simpin', A bit of angsty

You had been living in New Orleans for a year now to be away from Katherine and Elena as you were a different doppelganger and still carried the Petrova family name. You were a powerful witch and didn't care that Elena was like your long distance cousin because of the bloodline you shared.

Once you had heard Klaus was spotted in Mystic Falls, much to Elena's disappointment you got the hell out of dodge not wanting to be used by the Original as you knew your family's history with the Mikaelsons. Marcel had took you under his wing much like Davina as you help teach the younger witch to control her magic.

You were angry that your life had been fucked over because of Katherine but after Klaus broke his curse you were able to life a normal life in New Orleans that was until a pregnant wolf and Esther coming back.

"The Originals are in town be careful." Marcel told you knowing if Klaus knew of another doppelganger you would be in danger. But Elijah knew about you as he came to you about Davina and you managed to tell him she wasn't a threat.

"So your family has history with the Mikaelsons?"

"You could say that De."

You could feel Esther's magic as it was heavy in the air even more after Davina told you she brought back Kol. It happened in a blur you were held against a wall by your thoat.

"You killed me litt...." Kol was cut off holding his head as you looked down at Kol with a glare as your hand was in a fist.

"I am not Elena, vampire." You growled as Kol felt like his head was on fire as the pain was unbearable. Kol could see that you may have the same face as Elena, your hair was cut short and curled as you got tired of people mistaken you for Elena or Katherine.

"I see....that....now....you're a powerful....witch." Kol panted as you let him go and Kol couldn't help but stare at you. You were attractive and Kol cursed to hisself now seeing what his brother's saw in the Petrova women.

"And you are annoying Kol Mikaelson."

"Forgive me but I don't know your name."

"And you won't." You say walking away leaving Kol laying there as he got up before deciding to ask Elijah.

"You ran into Y/N Petrova?" Elijah questioned his younger brother putting down his book catching Klaus's attention. Kol had got to Elijah to see if he knew anything and was glad.

"Yes so she is a doppelganger?"

"Yes, it surprised Niklaus when Katherine threw her under the bus. Y/N is the last pure blood Petrova witch." Elijah says as Klaus smirking sitting down remembering when he found you on the third day of him being New Orleans. Unlike Katherine and Elena, you didn't fear Klaus as proven when you made his heart stop when he tried taking you from Marcel.

"She is a little feisty witch. Rebekah likes her better than Katherine and Elena which is saying something."

"Oh?" Kol said standing smirking as Elijah and Klaus knew that smirk this crazy boy was going to try to date you.

"Be care Kol. If Marcellus doesn't kill you then she will."

When you got a call from Klaus saying he needed a powerful witch to weaken the hybrids under mother's control you thought he would talk to Davina.

'I need a Petrova witch love.' Was what Klaus told you and you walked into the compound annoyed when Kol smirked following you up stairs.

"Any plans this weekend?"

"Non of your business." You said annoyed hoping that Kol would have lost interest in you by now but the wildest Mikaelson just fell harder with every name calling and magic sent his way.

"Maybe I could take you out."

"No." You told him glaring but it didn't stop Kol from trying to ask you out or buying you flowers and gifts.

"De! I AM IN LOVE WITH AN IDIOT!" You shouted one morning scaring Davina when you came into your shared apartment. You founded yourself falling for Kol which to you was an idiot and didn't know why. You spent the day ranting to Davina that you couldn't love Kol because he was a Mikaelson and you were a Petrova.

"Hello darling."

"What do you want idiot?" You asked working on a spell to help Elijah when Kol had came over and stepped up behind you. You looked up at Kol and your breathing hitched seeing how close he was and your eyes flickered to his lips.

"I was....hoping that...you would finally. " Kol muttered leaning in as your cheeks flushed moving in also and his lips were on yours. The kiss was explosive as sparks flew and you moan against his mouth kissing back.

"Does this mean you like me and we can see one another?" Kol asked sounding unsure his cheeks tinted red as you smiled softly for the first time since he met you.

"Yeah, you goof." You whispered as Kol brighen kissing you again and let out a whine when you pulled away.

"I need to finish this spell." You tell him letting the vampire cling to you watching you work.

It didn't take Marcel and the other Mikaelsons to notice that Kol and you were seeing one another a lot more. You had managed to mellow Kol out as he now turned all of his focus on you. But one thing you and he agreed on was not tell anyone that he proposed eight months into your relationship as you both didn't know how Klaus would react.

"Cute place."

"What do you want Katherine? I thought you didn't want to be anywhere near Nik?" You questioned walking in to your apartment seeing Katherine sitting in a chair drinking your good wine.

"You cut your hair."

"What do you want?" You asked glaring as your magic was stirring up as Katherine huffed before spotting the engagement ring on your hand.

"You're engaged?"

"Yes now Katherine what do you want?!"

"Fine....I need help and you are the only powerful witch I know. Elena had turned off her humanity and I know you have a spell to get her to turn it on."

"Since when did you care about Elena?" You questioned pulling out your grimoire as Katherine watched you huffing sipping her wine.

"The brothers are boring and all angsty over it. It is annoying but I hear you and Kol are a thing."

"That is non of your business." You tell her getting to work then dropped a small bottle in her hand.

"Have Elena drink that it'll compel her to turn it back on." You tell Katherine as she smirked thanking you before leaving and while she was at it sent a text to Klaus that you were engaged to Kol.

Klaus was angry when he learned of you and Kol ever more angry when learning that Kol was going move out of the city with you after your marriage. In Klaus's eyes you were taking what was his while both Rebekah and Elijah was happy for Kol.

"Go warn her. I'll hold Niklaus back." Elijah told Kol hearing Klaus growled throwing things. Kol was quick to head to your place which smiled brightly seeing him walking in.

"So what kind of cake....Kol are you okay?" You asked seeing how terrified your future husband looked. Kol cupped your face tearing up as if to commit your face to memory.

"Nik knows and is coming for you....you need to run and hopefully he'll calm down and we can marry."

"Kol.....I....don't want....to live...like Katherine had.....please don't." You whimpered as he kissed you gently and helped you pack. That night after using magic to hide your tracks, Kol went to blows with Klaus while Katherine suffered at the hand of Elijah when he learned the vampire was the one to ruin Kol's slice of happiness.

"Come on Elijah, the little witch could use so....." Katherine was cut off when Elijah slammed her against a wall hand warped around her thoat.

"If Y/N dies in the hands of Niklaus, I will not be merciful Katerina."

Four years you were on the run visiting Kol's favorite places which made you feel closer to the Original while learning new magic's getting stronger. You sat in your London flat watching the snow falling gently while unconsciously playing with your engagement ring while thinking about Kol.

"Darling can you let me in?" You heard Kol ask making you rush to the door tearing it open letting him. You jumped up into his arms kissing him deeply pulling a deep moan from Kol.

"You're here! Oh my god I missed you. Never again idiot." You said inbetween kisses as Kol smiled looking up at you with adoration.

"I missed you too darling. You did a better job at hiding than Katherine."

"Wait.! But Klaus?"

"It took three years but Elijah and Rebekah calmed him then I spent a year looking for you." Kol said kissing you again as he took you to your bed relearning one another's body.

"You kept it."

"Yeah....ask me again." You tell him taking the ring off as Kol slipped out of your bed getting on one knee.

"Please marry me? You gorgeous, beautiful woman that I would be honored to be her husband."

"Yes....a thousands times yes." You said tears falling as Kol smiled putting the ring back on your hand. Kol rushed up kissing you again as you both fell back into the bed.

"I love you, my beloved."

"I love you too, Kol." You whispered back as you both finally got to be happy.

[sameheart-sameblood]

Live While We’re Alive

(gif by @rex-is-best)

pairing: commander wolffe x f!reader

summary: you thought being a newly recruited civilian doctor to the GAR was hard enough until you developed a hopeless crush on Commander Wolffe

words: 2.8 k

warnings: mature, some suggestive talk, mutual pining, medical exams, co-workers to lovers, a doctor having inappropriate thoughts about their patient 

a/n: I started writing this awhile ago and then lost all creative motivation but I've been in a Wolffe mood the past few days and sad we didn't get to see him in The Bad Batch so here we are. I'd like to apologize to my doctor dad and all medical professionals everywhere lol. Also, I had intended for this to end in smut but then got lost in feelings so there mayyyy be a chapter 2. We'll see ;)

read on ao3!

You want to fuck him. It’s been decided. This realization couldn’t have come at a worse time, though. You’re surrounded by Jedi and Clone Officers in a very important meeting detailing your next mission. But you only have eyes for one of the men and he’s currently standing at the head of the room giving a briefing to the holo of Master Yoda. It’s a testament to Commander Wolffe’s presence that you barely notice the little green Jedi Master he’s conversing with. Well, his presence and his extreme handsomeness.

When you’d first met him, you’d been truly intimidated. The other women you worked with nodded in understanding, whispering they had been thrown off by his cybernetic eye and prominent scar. But that wasn’t it. You’d noticed those things, but that wasn’t what made you uneasy.

It was the fact that he took one look at you and seemed to see right into your soul. You couldn’t explain it but you felt like with just a glance, he could tell your deepest insecurities. And stars, did you have a lot of those.

You had worked your way up through the medical field and had started your residency at the biggest hospital in Coruscant. After your training ended, you had secured a permanent job there. It had been difficult, to say the least. Though you knew you were qualified, even more so than most of your male co-workers, you still doubted yourself often.

Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi had come to visit you one nondescript Thursday afternoon, telling you of the need for doctors in the GAR. He said you came most highly recommended when he was searching for recruits but still, you thought a mistake had been made and that someone soon would realize and send you back to your normal life. It was a recurring nightmare you’d developed in the past few weeks that shook you from your sleep.

You had agreed to join the GAR, sympathetic to the cause and wanting to do your part. The next few weeks had consisted of you getting your bearings and meeting the rest of the staff at the base . Kix, the clone medic in charge, had helped you learn the ropes and had introduced you to all his brothers. At first, you had been overwhelmed by the sea of identical faces. As the weeks had gone on, you’d learned everyone’s names and they’d made you feel welcome, like one of their own.

The Commander and you had crossed paths several times. He was polite but distant. Not like you blamed him. He had more important things to do than exchange drawn out pleasantries. With each run-in, though, he seemed to be making more of an effort to be personable. Unfortunately, each conversation left you looking more and more like an idiot. Or a di’kut. The boys had been teaching you some Mando’a.

You were a medical professional, a well-respected doctor and yet Wolffe made you feel unsure of yourself. It had been so long since you’d had a crush that you didn’t realize this was what the beginning of one felt like.

*******

As you sit around the war room table, you feel even more like a school girl. Instead of paying attention to whatever Master Yoda is saying, you’re transfixed by Wolffe’s face. The hazy blue light from the holo reflects off his features, making him look ethereal. His scar looks even more prominent and you blush, remembering how often you’ve wondered what it would feel like to let your fingers trace it.   And his lips. They’re moving, responding to whatever the Jedi has said. They’re mesmerizing and now you’re thinking of what it would be like to kiss him. Or even better yet, to have those lips pressed against the plushier parts of your body.

You continue to stare until you realize his face has turned to you. It probably only takes you a second to come back to reality but it feels like an eternity. Somehow you’re able to respond to the question.

“Yes, Commander. All medical personnel are prepared for an 0800 liftoff. Kix will take his team with the 501st and I’ll have my staff along with the 104th. We’ll reconnoiter once we’ve landed on Hisseen.” The rest of the table nods, moving the conversation along. Wolffe stares at you for a moment, a hint of a smirk on his lips. You avert your gaze, finding the table a much safer object of your attention.

The discussion wraps up and Wolffe stands at attention, puffing his chest out, before Master Yoda disappears. Once again, your eyes are drawn to him. You’re not sure how but he makes something so mundane look indescribably attractive. Wolffe’s head turns in your direction but you’ve already bolted from your seat, hoping to cool down in the hallway.

Kix pushes through the crowd to get to you. “Hey, Doc. How’d the meeting go?” You shrug. “Nothing new to report. Just making sure we’re all set for our campaign.” He’s shifting back and forth, a sort of glazed look in his eyes. You realize he’s not paying particularly close attention. It’s the look of someone asking you something just so they can request a favor in return.

“Hmm oh yeah, that’s nice. Say, Doc, do you think you could cover for me for a few hours? I have some urgent business to attend to.”

“Since when is playing Sabacc with Fives and the boys urgent?”

“Since I remembered how terrible they are at it. I can make a real killing playing against them.”

You laugh. It’s true. You’ve come to love those men but a lot of them are really horrible at the game. You’ll need to give them a remedial course if you have any downtime on Hisseen. “Of course. What do you need me to do?” He rewards you with a huge grin. “Nothing hard! A few higher ups coming in for their physicals. Just the usual. Make sure they’re in tip top shape to get shot at by some tinnies.”

He gives you the list. It’s only a handful of men but the last one on it makes your blood go cold. “Commander Wolffe needs a physical?” Kix is oblivious to your inner turmoil. “Oh yeah, but he knows the drill. Honestly everyone can do it themselves at this point. We’re basically there to oversee it as a formality.”

You swallow down your apprehension and nod. “Sounds easy enough. Go have fun. And take it easy on them, will ya? Let them keep a little of their dignity intact” Kix just grins and shoots you a wave as he runs off.

*******

Your first few appointments go just fine. The officers are professionals and Kix was right, they could do these routine physicals with their eyes closed. You give them all your seal of approval and settle in to do your paperwork before your last, most anticipated patient arrives. The forms in front of you hold no interest and you find yourself checking the chrono every few seconds.

It’s not easy but you manage to finish your work. You set it aside and take steadying breath. Five more minutes and he’ll be here. You scold yourself. The Commander has never been anything but professional. You’re the one thinking these very unprofessional thoughts.

And you’re a doctor, for kriff’s sake. Your patients should be able to come to you without worrying you may be fantasizing about what they look like naked. But these are uncharted waters. It’s your first time having to deal with a patient you’re this attracted to. They really should take your medical license away.

Just as you’re thinking of packing it all up and handing in your resignation to the Jedi Council, a knock at the door snaps you to attention. Well, here goes nothing. You scold yourself once again for checking your reflection in the mirror before answering the door.

You had tried to adopt a passive, professional look to your face before greeting Wolffe but it must not have worked. “Everything alright, Doc? I’m not early, am I?” You shake your head.“Not at all. Punctual as always, Commander.” You beckon for him to come in and take a seat. You close the door, then sit across from him at your desk.

Your datapad hums to life and you busy yourself opening the appropriate forms you need to fill out. The weight of his eyes is heavy on you and your cheeks heat up in spite of yourself. You push on through as best you can.

“Well, Commander, how are you feeling today?” There’s that ghost of a smirk again but it vanishes so quickly you're not sure if you imagined it. “I feel like a million credits.” You giggle despite it not even being that funny. You’ve got it bad. “Glad to hear it. This should be quick then.” You gather your equipment and get to work.

First, you take his weight. Then, you listen to his heart. You press the stethoscope to his sternum, thankful you can do this over his blacks. He observes you the whole time. “And what about you? How are you today, Doc?” You risk a glance and meet his eyes. That was a mistake.

“Me? Oh-um just fine. Maybe not like a million credits but a few hundred at least.” You trail off dumbly but he humors you with a chuckle. You’re not sure you’ve ever heard that sound from him before. It’s like music to your ears. “Anything I can do to help? You do look a little flushed. Are you sure you don’t have a fever?” You avert your eyes again.

“No. I’m alright. It’s just, uh, hot in these uniforms. The coarseweave doesn’t breathe.”

“You sure? Maybe I should be the one giving you a check-up.”

You realize he’s toying with you now.

“That won’t be necessary, Commander.”

You move on to check his lungs. “Breathe in for me.” You move the stethoscope to his chest, then move it around a few different spots on his back. “You can call me, Wolffe. If you’d like.” He breathes in every time, not even needing prompting, ever the dutiful soldier, even when he’s teasing you.

“I would like that. Thank you, Wolffe.”

Next, you measure his blood pressure. You’re shocked that it’s so low. He sees the look of surprise on your face. “Something wrong?”

“Not at all. The opposite, in fact. Your pressures are great. I just thought with your lifestyle they might, understandably, be a bit higher.”

“What kind of lifestyle do you think I have?”

You’re backtracking as quickly as you can. “I just meant, your life as a soldier, it must be extremely stressful.”

There’s that smirk again. “It is. But you don’t get to be a Commander by not being able to handle the pressure.”

“Of course. But even so, if you’d like some stress relief techniques I can suggest some.” He hums as if really thinking it over. Thankfully there’s only one part of your exam left. Which is good because you’re not sure how much resolve you have remaining.

“Everything looks great. I’ll just do a head and neck exam and then I can send you on your way.”

You need to touch him for this part but you stop yourself, hands hovering but not quite meeting their destination. You feel like once you touch him, really feel his skin under your fingers, there may be no going back.

Wolffe sees your hesitation, then slowly reaches out to take your hands. You watch with wide eyes as he guides them to his neck. He looks up at you innocently enough but you can tell he’s laughing internally. You try to reign in control of the situation.

“Sorry, I just got distracted.” The Commander studies you but this time it’s in earnest. “Are you nervous? This’ll be your first time in an active war zone, right?” You had been anxious but not about that. But now that he mentions it, yeah, you honestly don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.

“Yes, I’m not sure what to expect. I guess you could say I’m a little scared.” Wolffe gently holds your chin, directing you to look back at him. “I won’t lie. It’ll be overwhelming and frightening. Battles can seem never-ending. But I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You’re staring into each other’s eyes and you don’t want to stop. But then he’s clearing his throat and gently removing his hand from your skin. You realize you’ve been resting your own hands on his shoulders this whole time. “Thank you, Wolffe. I do feel much better knowing you’ll be there.” You offer him a smile, hoping it conveys just how much you appreciate him looking out for you.

You begin your exam, gently kneading where his neck meets his shoulders, checking for any anomalies. Then you move to his throat. The throat you’ve so often been distracted by. It’s featured prominently in your daydreams. You move your hands along it, under his jawline. Having a man this powerful baring one of the most vulnerable parts of his body to you is intoxicating. Focus, di’kut.

Everything feels normal except for some knots you find resting right below the surface of his smooth skin. “Lymph nodes feel good. You’re a little tense, though. But I bet it’s from that bucket you have to wear most of the day.” He hums in thought. “True. But even so. Maybe you could give me some of those ideas for stress management?” He looks up at you with big eyes. There’s mischief in them but something else. Vulnerability?

You gulp audibly. “Of course. There are a few that work particularly well, um, like deep breathing techniques, going on walks, talking with friends, meditation, journaling, physical activity…” You’re rambling, fighting a losing game against your resolve. Wolffe thinks on it. “Physical activity seems like a good place to start.” His hands come up to gently cover yours that are still resting on his neck.

The sensation of his calloused fingers on your skin sends shivers down your body. You close your eyes, feeling the last of your self-control topple over. “Wolffe,” you whine “We shouldn’t…” He immediately drops his hands, worry etched on his face. “I’m so sorry. It’s just- I thought you wanted-.” He cuts himself off, snapping up to his feet and to attention. “Doctor, you should report me to General Plo Koon for immediate disciplinary action.”

Dank Farrik, you’ve just ruined everything.“Wolffe! No, I’m not reporting you to anyone. If anything you should report me for being so unprofessional.” His shoulders relax a bit but he still eyes you as if you’re a live grenade that might explode at any second. “What do you mean?” You sigh in frustration. This isn’t how you wanted to confess your feelings to him.

“I…want you, Wolffe. The second I realized that I should have asked to be re-assigned to a different battalion. Instead I thought I could push those feelings down and continue to do my job. Looks like that was a mistake.” You hang your head, avoiding his piercing gaze. He’s silent for just a moment but it feels like an eternity.

“So, you want me and I want you?” You nod your head, ashamed, as he continues. “Then what’s the problem, Doc?” Your eyes snap to his, not believing what you’re hearing.

“Isn’t it wrong of us?”

Wolffe sits down on the exam table again, genuinely thinking on it. “I don’t see why. We’re both consenting adults. We don’t work directly with each other- I report to General Koon, you report to General Kenobi- so there’s no real conflict of interest. The worst we’ll face is a little ribbing from the boys if they find out.”

You raise your head to look him in the eyes, needing to make sure he’s serious and that this isn’t some twisted joke. What you find staring back at you is hope and promise. He senses your trepidation and gently takes your hands in his. “I’m sorry if I came on strong. But the thing about this life is that there are no guarantees. Tomorrow isn’t promised and so I figured I’d rather go for something, someone, that I want and have my heart broken rather than regretting my inaction.”

Your eyes roam the scars on his face, evidence of just how true his words are. You’re heading into active battle tomorrow. One or both of you could be injured, or worse. You step towards him. He spreads his legs so you have room to get closer. You rest your forehead on his, breathing him in.

His hands come up to caress your sides. You take a shaky breath. He questions you softly. “Cyar’ika?” Ah, now that’s one of the new words you definitely remember. His vulnerability makes you ache and the decision to hand your heart over is an easy one. “You’re right, Wolffe. Might as well do some living while we can.”

*******

[alreadyblondenow]

Sweet | Jung Jaehyun

❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  

Word count: 13,707k

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​

Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.

Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.

“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.

“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.

The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”

“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”

“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.

And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.

“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.

“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.

“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”

And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.

When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.

“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”

“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“

“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.

The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.

Eight years ago  

“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  

Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.

“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.

“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.

“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.

As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.

And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.

“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.

The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.

At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.

“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.

“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.

As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.

“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.

In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.

You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.

“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.

Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.

Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.

Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.

And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.

He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.

"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  

If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.

You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.

For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.

Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.

Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.

As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.

“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.

The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  

“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.

But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.

“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“

And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  

When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.

For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”

Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.

“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”

You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.

“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.

He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.

He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.

“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.

“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.

“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”

“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.

“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.

Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.

“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.

Thrust

Thrust

Thrust

He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.

While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.

“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.

“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.

“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.

To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.

You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.

Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.

Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.

It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.

“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.

“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.

“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“

“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.

Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.

During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.

Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.

You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.

It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.

Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.

Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.

“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.

Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.

For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  

Senior year

In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.

“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.

“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“

“Stop it with your nonsense John”

“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.

“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.

Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“

“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  

“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.

“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.

“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.

Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.

The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.

After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”

Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?

Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.

“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.

“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.

Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.

Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.

“Your ears are red,” you teased him.

“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  

“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.

This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.

“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.

“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.

“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.

“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”

And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.

Then,

“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”

And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.

On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.

“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”

There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.

“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.

You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.

When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.

“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.

The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.

“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.

Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.

Finally. You both thought.

But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.

Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.

Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.

He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.

And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.

“I missed you too” finally you said it.

He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.

“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.

“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.

You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.

“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.

“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”

The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.

When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.

“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”

“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.

“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.

But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.

He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.

It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.

“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”

You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.

“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”

“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.

The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.

Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.

Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.

And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.

Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.

“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.

“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.

Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.

Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.

This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.

“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.

After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.

“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.

“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.

“And?”

“I’ll miss you”

Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.

He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.

You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  

The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.

“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.

“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  

“Good. Y/n is on her period”

“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.

“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“

“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”

When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.

“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.

“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.

“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.

“Google says sex is good when-“

“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.

“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.

“I am” you admitted

“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.

“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.

Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.

“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.

“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.

“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.

“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.

While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.

The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.

Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.

“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.

“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.

“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”

“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.

“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.

“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...

“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”

“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”

“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.

“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.

The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.

Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.

After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.

“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.

“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”

“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.

“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”

The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.

You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“

“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.

“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.

“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”

“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.

The fight was short but unforgettable.

Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.

“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.

You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.

FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)

It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.

When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.

You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.

When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.

“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.

But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.

“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.

Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.

“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”

But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR

“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”

And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.

All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.

Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.

Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.

Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.

While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.

“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.

“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.

“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.

Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room

“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.

And so he did.

He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.

Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  

As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.

“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.

“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.

“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.

When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.

“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.

“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?

The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.

On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.

Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Five years later

When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.

“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.

“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.

“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.

“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.

“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.

“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”

“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.

“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.

“Sorry, that was so childish of me”

“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”

Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.

But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.

“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.