#lillia talks
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moccahobi · 2 months ago
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... 50 hours of working each week... Y'all. How do I balance it?
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sleepyorchidmonster · 3 months ago
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While I'm curious about the other's dreams in Book 7, a part of me is mostly looking forward to overall shenanigans with the Dream Team and their assigned overblot buddies!
Especially since it looks like we're revisiting past twstunes.
-Jamil and Octavinelle is always funny AND a recipe for disaster;
-I can already hear Azul complaining about Savanaclaw's weather, not to mention his overall lack of stamina and how Book 2's twstunes are all either chase sequences or Magift;
-Leona painting the roses. Or helping bake a tart. He can't even escape because then dream Riddle and Sebek will team up and yell at him.
(More rambling under the cut)
Really hoping the Heartslabyul dream sequence is just extra chaotic. Maybe everyone already knows it's a dream, maybe the blot becomes even more dangerous. Maybe Malleus makes an appearance.
Part of me wants Cater to get a new card. I love Trey, but people often forget that Cater is also an important friend of Riddle's, so getting him to be the one to snap Riddle out of the dream would be great!
Maybe we can get cards for Trey AND Cater (maybe Chen'ya too), since both Tweels are getting cards...
Also I need Deuce's sequence to be Rabbit Fest again. We already have outfits for both Silver, Ortho and Grim, so we only need ones for Leona, Sebek and Ace (and even then Sebek and Silver often wear matching outfits,so you really only have to think about Leona and Ace). Idia's tablet also gets a ribbon. There's also a gang fight.
I just need Leona to have the worst time possible in Heartslabyul dreams.
Bonus:
Ortho, after we finish Savanaclaw's dream sequence: Alright, now it's time for our next dream! And you know what that means!
Silver: Only one more dorm before we face Lord Malleus again?
Sebek: We have to deal with Ace now?
Idia: I can't handle Mr. Zero EQ (A.K.A Riddle), Extrovert Extraordinaire (A.K.A Cater) and TREY in the same dream?
Yuu and Grim, holding baseball bats: We can FINALLY punch Riddle's abusive mom in the face?
Everyone: ...
Jack: I'm sure she's not that bad...
Yuu: She is the OG Red Tyrant.
Grim: Who yelled at Trey's parents for 5 HOURS because they gave her kid a SLICE of a strawberry tart! WHO DOES THAT?!?!
Leona: Welp, that explains a LOT...
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fleariddenart · 6 months ago
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Idia and his late-night gaming sessions.
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moccahobi · 1 year ago
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What do y'all feel is a must read fic on your masterlist? I wanna add to my trl and read stuff y'all enjoyed writing!
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moccahobi · 2 years ago
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Frothing at the mouth I am. Please. Give me. 
i made a uquiz to find out what kind of gf you are
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kiloude-city · 5 months ago
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Riddle, my beloved, never change.
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tamyonmyonmyon · 1 year ago
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I want to see Floyd happy,I love seeing Floyd happy,I love seeing Floyd doing things he enjoys doing,I love seeing Floyd try new things and enjoy them,I love seeing Floyd being kind to people,I love Floyd not being ashamed to act "childish",I love Floyd not hiding any of his emotions,I love Floyd being so expressive.
I LOVE FLOYD LEECH
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agonizedembrace · 2 years ago
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[ TACKLE ] : sender instinctively tackles or shields receiver from harm's way. 🤡 - @windchaser
Unexpected -- his actions are thoughtful, Evelynn's come to learn this as they (perhaps, a bit reluctantly at first) spend time together. He is unlike his brother, and it is a breath of fresh air that she secretly welcomes.
He never visits her with his friend -- lover, as Evelynn feels it. She knows the shy emotions he harbors, that radiant off him and even she cannot help collecting some of that warmth for herself. Though he never talks about it, only rare occasions in passing, he is well to listen. To understand.
This time is no different.
Least, this is what Evelynn thought. A nightly stroll, this time far from the river she resides with. Refreshing to be away from the negativities that remind her of the past, yet the feeling of melancholy never fully subsides. Perhaps he too, senses this, and wishes to grant her company in lonesome hours.
Their friendship is not common. Others would consider it strange, two spirits who withhold different ideals to make ends. In fact, words between them do not occur frequently, only when necessary. It is a mutual feeling, at the very least, neither one for small talk. Least, not anymore for Evelynn.
It would be ample silence between them, if it were not for twigs that crack beneath their steps. A slow pace, for neither are entirely in any rush, as they stroll through the forest. In passing, he had made a comment regarding the warmth she gave off.
Her birthday was recent, even if her life's long past. A celebration she tended by herself, at the riverbank with silent prayers. Something her past self would never take to. Evelynn played it off carefully, a playful jab back at him for his smile and feelings.
She knew he had just visited her.
Lips part so speak, another tease lingering at the tip of her tongue. Never to come forth, as Yone is swift with his actions, catching Evelynn off guard. Since accepting a more.. serene lifestyle (and she has to use the term loosely, as she still hunts in a way) her combat skills have taken a fall.
His frame hovers around her, and all she can do is furrow her brows in brief confusion. While she wishes to bark, she knows better as a force causes him to fall to her. Evelynn harbors frustration, to be unable to sense emotions and pain as she once used to, only to have human senses to guide her way. She remains unsure, even as they begin to tumble onto the dirt, staining their robes, what is truly happening.
Tumbling for a while -- since when is there a hill around these parts?! Evelynn pushes her irritation aside as they reach the bottom, groggily sitting up and casting her gaze around for where Yone ended. Not too far away, and seemingly unharmed. So what was the reasoning then?
These woods were said to be harmless.
"What's gotten into you?" yet not poised with anger. Concern instead laces her tone as she crawls closer, further creating stains on her white socks, a careful hand that shakes him. "What ails you to let us tumble?"
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sleepyorchidmonster · 16 days ago
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When Silver finally tells Malleus about his true origins, wouldn't it be funny if the fae's main takeaway from all THAT is how he's technically not the older sibling anymore?
Like, Silver agonizing about the bitter truth, thinking he's unworthy of being part of the Dasomnia family because of his true lineage.
Meanwhile Malleus' thought process is basically: "If Silver was a baby when the fairies cursed him into an enchanted sleep, 400 hundred years ago, and I only hatched a mere 178 yeas ago, then does that mean I'm the LITTLE SIBLING?!?!?"
And then they all eat ice cream and go to therapy.
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starry-bite · 1 year ago
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tickets to hadestown tomorrow tickets to hadestown tomorrow tickets to hadestown tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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moccahobi · 2 years ago
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I am both 1 and 5. My friends can vouch for me. I am so accident prone. But also I am a good chef! Well. Average is more like it. But I can cook without recipes!
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moccahobi · 2 years ago
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My wips looking at me as I game and do anything other than write:
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pomefioredove · 3 months ago
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could you write the overblot boys (+ lillia & adeuce) with a reader who is really naïve? like they aren’t dumb by any means (the opposite, actually, they are smart and get amazing grades) but they have a lot of trust in people and sometimes takes things too seriously/at face value (like they don’t understand sarcasm at all, respond to rhetorical questions, etc)
how do you guys keep coming up with the most specific relatable ideas 😭😭 finally, oblivious representation!!!
summary: naive/oblivious reader type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, ace, deuce, leona, azul, jamil, vil, idia, malleus, lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
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for someone who's entire life is structured around decorum, Riddle is unexpectedly lenient with you
he's always had a certain weakness for cute things...
AHEM
he's seen your grades, and he knows you aren't incompetent or dim, you just...
...lack social finesse
fortunately, he says he's an expert at socializing!
...unfortunately, that's not true at all
if you're not careful, he'll have you talking like a sickly Victorian orphan by month two
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
but at least he's not Ace, who finds your naivete VERY entertaining
you and Deuce are a two-man circus to him
tricking you is so easy, it's almost not even fun
almost
he has, on three separate occasions, told you and Deuce that "gullible" is written on the ceiling, and all times, you both looked up
but it's all in good fun, of course
Sevens help anyone else who teases you about it, though. then it isn't so funny anymore
Ace and Deuce are just a little overprotective
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona hasn't said a word about it
not that he hasn't noticed
...not that he's trying not to embarrass you, either
he's just trying to see how long it'll take before you can tell when he's being sarcastic
it's just... entertaining
for someone as smart as you to hang onto his every word...
it's... a bit of a power trip for him
not that he's taking advantage of you for anything other than amusement, of course
besides, you'll need someone around to tell off the idiots who do try to pull the rug out from under you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
speaking of which...
if not for your friends' intervention, Azul would probably own your soul by now
he's not half as convincing as he thinks he is, but even then, you respond to everything he says in earnest
you actually believe the whole "nice guy" act
and, honestly...
well...
he likes the way you like him
you actually see him as a nice, smart, interesting person. you spend time with him without expecting anything in return
so, he gives up on trying to squeeze a deal out of you
...for now, at least, you're under his protection
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
someone get this poor man a day off
Jamil is tempted to put you and Kalim in a play pen together so he can take a nap
he just... doesn't understand you
he's seen your name in the hall after exams, he's heard the way the professors praise you, and yet you are almost painfully easy to manipulate
he could mold you like clay if he really wanted to
...unfortunately, he cares too much to do that
so, for now, he'll keep trying to trick you into tutoring Kalim so he can have the night off
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil is your number one protector
you're smart, you're competent, but you're way too easy to deceive
and knowing the boys at this school...
...of course, Vil has to keep you by his side at all times. he wouldn't trust half the students here with his laundry
he can't sit by and let you get taken advantage of
...not that he never teases you
he does, of course
your earnest responses are just so sweet to him, and you seem to genuinely enjoy complimenting him...
anyway
while Rook teaches you how to pick up on hints and cues, and Epel throws hands with anyone who even looks at you weird, Vil is busy pampering you half to death
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Idia's initial reaction is something along the lines of "well, at least I'm not that guy,"
(sorry)
but, really; he thinks he has it bad, and then you can't even read a room?
you're like total opposites; an overthinker and an underthinker
you're all... sweet and genuine and cutesy
and he's a lame weird loser...
he assumes that everyone else thinks the same; but then he starts hearing the things other people say about you...
...and the way you get treated when you don't understand a joke or pick up on a cue
maybe you're not so different, after all...
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
unfortunately, it looks like you and Malleus are on the same page
one oblivious to social cues, the other awkward from years of isolation
communicating with anyone else is a minefield
but, of course, you have each other
the way you talk to each other is kind of adorable?
Malleus can be quite blunt when he doesn't mean to, though, for you, that's a blessing
but he's also aware that you're a little oblivious, compared to other humans, and he's quite accommodating
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Lilia is a little shit
he may act all innocent about it, but he knows very well what he's doing
your naivete was the first thing he noticed about you
he absolutely uses it to his advantage
you're just so easy to prank, how can he resist?
he also enjoys flirting with you
it goes right over your head every time, and it's just the cutest thing he's ever seen
he's trying to see how far he can push it before you realize he's being serious
times he's said "I want you" to your face: 2 and counting!
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random-twst-things · 7 months ago
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Part 2 of this!
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*After the interview, it was cut short*
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Mal?
Malleus: ...yes?
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: HOW?! how is it that we're even married?
Malleus: Well-
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: We haven't even dated each other?!
Malleus: ...
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Look, it's not that I mind, really but-
Malleus: Really? ☺️
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Not the point Mal! How did this even happen? And for an entire year?!
Mc/Y/N/Yuu, turns to Mal: Mind explaining?
Malleus: Well, you were the one to court me
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: ...Me?
Malleus: Yes, do you remember around a year ago the time you gifted me a new tamagotchi, coupled with a pretty rock with a small card saying "love you"?
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Yes? It was a while ago, but yea
Malleus: Well, I thought that was you courting me, dear
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: ...
Malleus: ...
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: You thought that I was courting because I gave you a rock? A simple rock?
Malleus: Correction, a very pretty rock, but yes
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Please don't tell me this is the way faes court?
Malleus: Well, not exactly. Instead of the, VERY, pretty rock you gave me we usually find or buy an unpolished emerald rock and give it to the person we wish to court.
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: AN EMERALD?! UNPOLISHED EMERALD?! I gave you nothing close to that!
Malleus: Well, I assumed that given your living situation and expenses you sadly had to use a pretty rock you found instead of the emerald
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Mal, you do know that our way of "courting" is very different, right?
Malleus: I am aware, but I assumed you knew
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: ...
Mc/Y/N/Yuu, sighs: Okay, okay- wait- this was when?
Malleus: A month before we got married
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: A MONTH?!
Malleus: Yes, a month, I wished to do it sooner but thought I'd wait to respect your human traditions. Lilla also said patience is key ☺️
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: MAL A MONTH IS TOO SOON?
Malleus: It is? 😔
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: YES BUT-
Mc/Y/N/Yuu, sighing: WHEN?! HOW DID WE EVEN HAVE A WEDDING?
Malleus: Dear, the event I held a year ago in Diasomnia's courtyard was our wedding
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: I thought that was some fae holiday or tradition you guys did?
Malleus: It was not, it was our wedding
Mc/Y/N/Yuu, pacing the room: wait- you need a marriage officiant for a wedding to happen though? What about the vows? The walking down the aisle?
Malleus: The vows we said we're done in private, remember? when I poured my heart out telling you how I could never imagine you not being in my life? The marriage officiant was Lillia and the walk down the aisle I chose not to do as I couldn't wait any longer.
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Okay, so I remember the "vows" but when did I even sign the marriage license?
Malleus: As soon as you walked into the dorm doors
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: I thought that was a paper to see who came?
Malleus, worried tone, happy face: My, dear, you really should read something before you sign it 😊
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: yea, I really should
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: what about the wedding attire? I didn't wear a wedding dress/suit? The ring?
Malleus: The outfit of garments I sent to you the day before our wedding and the ring I'm assuming you thought was a "simple" gift 😞
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: THAT WAS MY WEDDING DRESS/SUIT?! And wedding ring?!
Malleus: Yes, I must say you looked positively gorgeous/beautiful/handsome and I chose the ring very well, it suits you tremendously
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Thank you-
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: okay, okay- No big deal- I'm just married to the prince of Briar Valley, descendant of fae, the most powerful mages in the world.
Malleus: I prefer to be called "Mal", by you
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: ...
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Oh by the Seven, I can't believe we got married all because I gave you a SIMPLE ROCK
Malleus: As I said before, a very pretty rock
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Mal, we don't even live together
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The rock You/Mc/Y/N/Yuu gave to Malleus:
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Authors note: (this turned out longer than I thought 😭)
(FINALLY! DONE! No next part... Unless a part 3 where they talk it out better? Nah.... Unless)
Dividers by/from @/cafekitsune
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moccahobi · 6 months ago
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🤔 I think we often see love completely and wholly as an emotion.
bell hook's book about love really helped me think about love in other ways. In it, she talks about how it's a set of actions and a continuous pattern. When I think of a friend, family, or pet who I love unconditionally, I have moments of emotions that aren't love. I'm not always feeling love towards them. But I love them. I show up for them.
When our actions towards ourselves are rooted in compassion and care, even if we don't feel love towards ourselves on it, that is working on love.
Somethings that have helped me think of this:
Think of a person you feel loved by (real or imaginary). What do they do that make you feel loved?
Imagine yourself as having a future, present, and past person in you. What are things you can do that will help future person?
Same with self care, I often feel like love is often grouped into this category of all good emotions and warm feelings. And both can have those. Yet it's also fueling yourself, doing the things you don't really want to do, and sitting in uncomfortable emotions. You contain multitudes. Let your love contain it too.
it’s okay if you don’t love yourself yet. you’re trying, and that’s all that matters. i’m proud of you
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another-random-paradise · 6 months ago
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Can I rq for hc about twst.. Where the fem!reader(gn!reader if like) has an abusive father and caused her a truma? And the boys ( the first years + lilia & leona & azul & trein) are shocked when they find out?
Something about angst/comfort with some fluff .... I hope you're comfortable writing that.
A new start
thank you for the request. I'll be honest, i was debating wether to write this or not, as abuse is a complex subject, and i was worried about misunderstanding or accidentally offending those who have gone/are going through this. But remembered that, I too, turned to fanfics for comfort during some of my worst days, and if i can be, or at least create, that comfort for someone else, then I'm satisfied with what I've achieved in live. But I do have a 4 character limit that i have to enforce for the sake of my own mental health, so i didn't do the first years, I'm very sorry.
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Reader opens up to them about their abusive father
Characters: Lillia, Leona, Azul, Proffessor Trein
Format: Headcanons
Warnings: Talk of past abuse
written platonically, but Leona and Azul can be read romatically
!Please note that this is not meant to glorify or romanticize abuse, but meant as a form of comfort for those that need it!
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Lillia
-Lillia has always been one to sneak up on and scare people, he just found their reactions so funny!
-But he can easily tell that you react a lot more intensely than others. He eventually stops sneaking up on you, because your reactions aren't fun, they just seem.. sad to him.
-Instead of surprise, you feel fear, and he doesn't like it. He can tell, just from that, that something is wrong, and while he wants to know what, he won't pressure you. As a father, he learned quickly that, that only leads to dishonesty
-As the two of you become closer, you start to be more comfortable and open with him
-And during a particularly calm conversation, a rather rare thing with someone like Lillia, you finally open up to him
-You two are sitting on a bench near his dorm, with no one around, when your conversation suddenly shifts to the past.
-As you tell him what your father did, Lillia feels anger, no, rage.
-But not at you, never at you. No, he is enraged that your father could treat his own child like that. He raised his enemy's son, after a war that lastet years, the child of the same man that killed the woman he loved, and still managed to be the best father he could be. And that trash bag of a person- if you could even call him that - couldn't even take care of his own?! 
-When you see the look in his eyes, you almost get scared, but something just tells you, that anger isn't directed at you. And before you can question him, he pulls you into a hug. You would dare to call it the most gentle hug you have ever experienced.
-"You are safe now. You always will be for as long as I'll live."  His words are as genuine as can be, as his grip tightens ever so slightly. But it doesn't feel like a cage, more like a weighted blanket engulfing your body, the weight slowly lulling you to sleep.
-If you weren't crying before, chances are you are now. And he lets you, comfortingly rubbing your back your back as you sob into his shoulder, finally letting it all out.
-The days after that, you notice that Lillias attitude towards you has changed over so slightly, he is acting a lot more caringly, he is acting.. almost fatherly. And you don't even realize that, that is his goal.
-He makes sure you always eat enough, and will cook your lunch and dinner himself if he has to, and that alone is motivation enough to eat properly, checks up on you, helps you with homework and similar, and always lends you a shoulder to cry on.
-Lillia has already made up his mind. He raised a human and a fae prince, what harm could taking in one more human do?
-You may have not have had a proper father up until now, but rather late than never, no?
Leona
-He noticed how skittish you seemed to be when you first met. The fear in your eyes obvious, no matter whether you try to hide it or not, as he snapped at you for stepping on his tail. It was the main reason he let you of so easily.
-He saw it again during his overblot, right before he transformed, as well as shortly after his recovery, when he approached you to sort things out. He expected fear, an overblot is nothing short of scary after all, but something about your fear just seemed different to him, but he decided not to bother you about it.
-Eventually you two get closer, he considers you one of his closest friends ...which isn't that great of an achievement since he doesn't have that many- but at least actually becoming one of his friends at all can be counted as one!
-One day, while simply hanging out, he decides to bring it up. He says it casually enough that you know you don't have to answer, without him having to outright say it. 
-You decide you trust him enough and tell him about your father and what he did
-He's shocked. He doesn't know what exactly he expected, but it, for some reason, it wasn't this. He thought maybe bully's, a bad ex, or something like that... but your own father? He didn't know he could hate someone so much without ever meeting them
-He's now wide awake, but stays quiet. He has never been good with words, let alone comforting someone, so he just lends you an open ear. 
-The quietness might put you off at first, but his tail subconsciously wraps around your arm, as he processes it, I'm afraid this is as much proper comfort you'll get, but if you decide to hug or cuddle him, he'll let you
-While he may not be the best with words, he does know how to take action while still being lazy.
-He practically has his own fan club at his beck and call, also known as the savanaclaw dorm, and he puts them to use.
-He tells them to make sure no one gives you trouble, and that you remain harm free, or else they'll have trouble with him. And it works! Suddenly all your bullies leave you alone!.. you don't even realize the amount of savanaclaw members staring the bully down.
-It's Leona's way of comforting and taking care of you, because if your father won't, then he damn sure will.
Azul
-Azul can be very observant when he wants to be, so it wasn't hard to tell, that the fear you felt when the twins got violent in front of you.. your fear was different, than that of the usual person
-He has to be honest, when he first saw it, he thought maybe he could utilize it to make you sign a contract.. but after his overblot his entire perspective seemed to change, you just seemed to understand his childhood trauma a little to well, how the constant abuse could hurt and even change oneself
-He'd be lying if he said that, that wasn't part of the reason you two got as close as you did, you two just seemed to understand to understand each other on a deeper level
-One day, while simply sitting in the VIP lounge while he worked, you two once again ended up talking about the past, and this time, you decided to be the one to open up to him about your childhood
-Azul stops in his tracks as you do, horrified at the thought of that happening  happening to you. He was just quiet for a moment, and unlike usual, this wasn't a comfortable silence
-"Well.. you're here now, he won't reach you here. I'll make sure of this, I'll make a contract to prove it." His voice was quiet, as he was debating what to do, he wanted to properly comfort you, but he didn't know how. He was still very young when his mom got divorced and, well, the twins never exactly needed comforting. So instead, he does what he does best, write a contract.
-For once, it's a contract that benefits you more that him. It mentions that you'll get protection from bully's and your father, should he somehow end up in twisted wonderland, and that Mostro lounge can be like a save haven that you can go to even after it's closing times. In return, he asks that you come to him should anything happen to you, from your father actually finding you, to simply getting triggert by something that reminds you of the past, whatever that may be.
-He just hopes that, even though he isn't the best when it comes to comfort, he can be the save haven for you that your dad failed to be.
Professor Trein
-Trein likes you for the simple reason that you're one of the very rare students that doesn't either cause trouble or fall asleep in his class
-During the topic of ancestry and how it affected history, ever so often the topic would change to the students family's, some students interested in yours, since your from another world. He couldn't help but notice how you never brought up your father.
-Eventually Trein became your favourite teacher! Sure, his lectures can be boring, but history is one of the few subjects you can participate in, and as long as you behave, he's actually pretty nice!
-Trein, already a father of multiple daughters, couldn't help but feel fatherly towards you, he made sure you knew you could confide in him
-One day, the lesson is about the past of some important historical figure, as things happened to be, this historical figure was abused too. Trein almost immediately noticed how quiet you got, and how hesitant you were to do the assignments. So, Trein asked you to stay after class
-He told you he noticed the change, and you decide to entrust him your story
-Trein, as a father himself, is horrified. How could anyone do that to their own flesh and blood? He lets you speak, nodding occasionally to let you know he's listening.
-"I am so sorry that happened to you. you deserve better". If you need or want it, he'll hug you and let you sob into his shoulder
-Trein, similarly to Lillia, will start to act more fatherly after that. He won't be less strict with you exam wise, but if he feels a subject could be triggering to you, he'll let you know before class, so that you can mentally prepare yourself, or miss class with his permission if needed.
-Since you aren't from twisted wonderland, you don't have a legal guardian here, do you? How do you feel about adoption? He's already raised multiple daughters, he's sure he can do it again. That way you also have somewhere to go during holidays! 
-He can't change what has already happened, but he'll make sure your last few teenage years are spent happily in a proper home
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Abuse is a sensitive subject, and while i tried my best to be as respectful as possible, I know it is very possible for me to have done something wrong. So, if anything here is disrespectful, triggering, or just generally insensitive, I beg you to tell me, so that i can fix it as fast as possible.
I admit to not being the most educated on this subject, but if you are still in this situation or believe someone else is, I believe there are different hot lines for different country's that can tell you what you can do to get help. If you can, find a public computer or use a friends phone to find and call said hotline.
I truly hope that your okay anon and anyone else that is reading this, and that this fic could bring you some comfort.
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