#once a beatle always a beatle <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[eppysboys]

Can you tell us about the film Harry and Ringo’s Night Out? I don’t think it’s ever been released, and plot details seem scarce. Why was it shelved, what was it about, and how were your artworks to be incorporated with the live-action footage?

"If you look it up online, it’s described as being a documentary film about Harry and Ringo’s wild night life. It wasn’t.

Harry and Ringo had done a movie called Son of Dracula. They had so much fun, they thought they’d like to do another. I wrote a synopsis of a movie I thought would work with who these guys were and the rapport they had. To be honest, I don’t remember where the title came from. They liked the treatment and asked me to write a full script, which I did. They made some changes, I made some changes, they made some changes, and after a while, we had a script everybody liked.

Early on, they decided they wanted it to be a live action/animation movie. Let me say, right from the start, I was way in over my head. I had no film experience. But they had faith in me and that was enough to make me believe I could do it.

The story – the short version – involves Ringo and Harry being sucked into an alternate reality in a place called Rockland, populated by a bunch of famous rock stars. Music is dying and these two were on a mission to save it. When they entered Rockland they acquired sidekicks. Ringo’s was the cherub and Harry’s was a wisecracking crow. Harry did the voice of the cherub and Ringo did the voice of the crow.

I designed the characters and painted the backgrounds. We contracted a couple of animators, on the sly, who worked at Hanna-Barbera to do the animation. The live action was shot on a Paramount sound stage in front of a blue screen. I directed the live action.

The sky, throughout the full three minute pilot was speeded up live action cloud formations, which was very cool. When it was complete, Harry and I went to Warner Brothers after hours and he worked on a moviola, editing the piece together. Harry picked the sound track, and we had a film to shop.

It went to a few studios but there were no takers. A live action/animated movie would have been a major undertaking and an expensive one at that and no studio wanted to bankroll a film starring the Beatles drummer and a pop star that had never performed in public… and the project was dead. I think the finished pilot went to Harry. I still have most of the backgrounds, cells and live action with some bits and pieces.

It’s never been seen in public and never will. I think no one will see it because nobody cares. It was done and over. I’m only guessing it’s with Harry’s family. It also might be with Ringo or Michael Viner (who died in 2009) who funded it. Whoever has it, it has been over 40 years and that ship has sailed." (Artist Tim Bruckner, 2015)

Eppy's Note: You can see a teeny tiny clip of promo for it here, and please take the time to scroll down to the comment section, there's very delightful exchange between two commenters.

[13eyond13]

actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew

[basketonthedoorstepofthefbi]

I love how you characterize Aaron Hotchner! Would you please write something for him along with the quote ‘keep your eyes open, sweetheart’? Completely up to you, but was definitely thinking about some heavy angst 🙃🙃

"look at me" - hotch x gn!bau!reader - 985 words

cw: injuries and depictions of violence, general angst, anxiety, hotch literally just being a hero as per freakin usual

why hello my love! thank you sm for this request <3

i don't write a lot of angst, it's certainly something i need practice with! but i really enjoyed writing this and i smooch ur lil forehead

-----------------

People always say that in a near-death experience, your whole life flashes before your eyes. 

Not yours. 

You didn’t see your whole life, no. You saw bits and pieces - learning to ride a bike, walking at your high school graduation, pinning your FBI badge to your blazer. And then you just saw Aaron. 

The first time you met, shaking hands as a brazen formality in the middle of a case, feeling his deep, brown eyes scrutinize your every move, watching him watch you. He was testing you back then, seeing if you’d be a good fit for the team.

The first real conversation you shared with him - The Beatles, which song was his favorite? Laughing at him when he said Yellow Submarine. 

When he held your hand for the first and only time on a particularly rough case, about four months ago, and promised you that things would get better. 

When you comforted him for the first time, about three months ago, after Haley left him. You promised him that everything happens for a reason. 

Five minutes ago, when you told him you felt certain the unsubs were going to strike again. You felt it in the pits of your stomach, you told Aaron. And he just nodded and said he trusted your intuition. Then he held the door open for you, and led you out of the police station, into the dead-quiet night of the street.  

He clicked the key fob in his hand, and the SUV burst into red-hot flames and sent you both flying. You were immediately knocked unconscious, your body thrust out into the street flippantly, like someone had simply thrown a baseball. 

You come to on the concrete, your head pounding. All sound is muffled, but you see Aaron on his knees, hovering over you. His face is covered in dirt and soot and blood, and he keeps cupping his hand over his ear. 

“ - hear me?” Sound is restored in the middle of Aaron’s question. It’s abrupt, like someone changing the channel on the TV, but you can hear again. You feel dizzy and disoriented as you prop yourself up on your elbows. 

“Stay down,” Aaron instructs, guiding you gently to lay flat on your back once again. Your entire body is throbbing. 

“Aaron,” you feel a panicked, whispered sob escape you. He grabs your hand and you feel him squeeze it. Your eyes roll into the back of your head. You feel dizzy, like you might pass out again and Aaron’s grip tightens around your hand. “It hurts.” 

“Keep your eyes open for me, sweetheart. Please?” The endearment rolls off of Aaron’s tongue like he’s said it a million times before. He hasn’t. Your relationship with him has been professional-ish up until this point. You’re not sure how he feels about you, exactly, but at this moment, it doesn’t matter. 

 He doesn’t even acknowledge that he said it. “What hurts?” Aaron’s speaking loudly, like someone who has headphones in. His hand is still pressed against his ear. 

“All of it,” you murmur. “Everything.” 

You feel tears in your eyes. Your stomach is in knots and you feel like someone is sitting on your chest. You blink a few times, feeling the tears drip down your face and onto your lips, salty and full of dread. 

Aaron’s checking you over, you realize, lifting your head gently and quickly to make sure you’re not bleeding. He’s talking to you, telling you what he’s doing so you don’t panic even more. He uses feather-light touches to lift your arm, and pain shocks you, coursing through your wrist. “Shh, hey, I’m sorry,” he says, laying your arm by your side. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Your wrist is broken.” 

You blink a few tears away. 

“I’m going to pick you up, Y/N,” he tells you. He never calls you by your first name, but you’re in so much pain that you can’t even be jarred by it. “Can you move your other arm?” 

It feels laden, but you can. You nod and whimper in confirmation. 

“Can you hook it around my neck?” He asks as he slides his hands under you. The crooks of your knees and your back are cradled by Aaron’s arms and you wrap your arm around his neck. Once he determines you’re stable in his arms, he lifts you up. You hear sirens blaring as they get closer, and you see Aaron grimace. You feel his body tense up, his fingers curl around the fabric of your shirt. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask him in an unfiltered mumble, sniffling as he carries you towards the nearest ambulance. 

“It’s just my ear. I’m fine, Y/N. I’ll be fine,” he promises, but you feel how labored his gait is. It’s taking everything in him to carry you to the ambulance. You want to tell him to stop, to remind him that the paramedics can bring the gurney to you. But you’re so tired, so dizzy. You think maybe if you just rest your eyes a little bit, you might feel better. Your head tilts to rest in the crook of Aaron’s neck. Your eyes flutter shut. 

“Y/N, you might have a concussion. You have to stay awake, okay?” Aaron’s voice draws you back. Your eyes are shaky when they open, and you see him looking at you with weighted concern as he sets you onto the gurney. 

The paramedics load you shakily up into the ambulance, and you reach your uninjured arm out. “You’re going to the hospital with me, right?” You ask. 

Aaron nods, climbing in after the paramedics and sitting beside you. His eyes are piercing and full of consternation as he takes your uninjured hand in both of his. He runs his fingertips over your knuckles, nodding assuredly, though you are certain he is feeling exactly the opposite.  “Yeah. Of course. I’m not going to leave you.”

[softestqueeen]

passenger princess

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!tech analyst!reader

summary: After what happened and Aaron being unable to drive, you have the honor of driving him home. Too bad the little motel has only one room left - with one bed.

warnings: 18+ MDNI!! smut, unprotected p in v, no real foreplay, aftercare, kissing, making out, fluff, the beatles ig, love confession, kinda aprupt ending (sorry guys, i'm tired)

wordcount: 3603 words

a/n: this is inspired by this post from @pastelpinkflowerlife! i loved the idea and hope I could do it justice! i peppered in some of my favourite tropes and smut ofc. (i'm just a girl) for the plot they are also not in NYC but a bit farther away, so i could make it a bit more realistic. enjoy <3

“He’s yours,” Derek told you with a shit eating grin while your smile dropped.

“What?”

“You get to drive Mr Grouchy over there home. He’s not cleared to fly yet because he almost busted his ear drum, so someone has to drive him. And that’s where you come in, sunshine. The rest of the team is already on their way to the airport. Here’s your car key.” His smile never faltered once as he flung the key at you.

“Oh, and by the way, Garcia has all your tech stuff, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Derek, we both know that that’s not what I’m worried about, but whatever, I’m not getting out of this, am I?” the whining in your voice was impossible to ignore.

“Nope, drive safe, princess,” and with that Derek turned around, got into another car, which was almost identical to the one you would have to drive and drove away.

You didn’t get any time to sulk, Aaron already walking up to where you were standing, a slight frown on his face that turned apologetic once he looked into your eyes. He felt genuinely bad for you.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me now. I bet that’s not how you anticipated to spend your weekend.”

“Oh, no it’s all right Hotch. I’m not really a fan of flying anyways, I’ve always preferred to be in the lair at Quantico.”

So, it was not actually that all right, because you had teeny tiny problem.

You had a huge crush on your boss, Aaron Hotchner.

From the moment you first laid eyes on his tall frame, his piercing eyes and oh those hands, you knew you were a goner. Since then, you were incredibly attracted to him, and you knew you would inevitably catch feelings for him. Which weren’t very promising conditions for driving in a small car with him. Especially when said person was one of the best profilers ever.

But you really don’t have a choice and if you were being completely honest you were glad that in some way or another could take care of him. You knew with how stubborn he could be it wouldn’t be easy, but you hoped he could at least relax a little bit. 

A moment of silence passed between the both of you before you decided to take a step towards the car.

Aaron was already on his way to the driver’s side, but that would not happen, not under your watch.

“I’m driving today. We both know you shouldn’t right now, and it won’t hurt you to sit back and relax a little bit. For once, let someone take care of you, please” the smile you sent him, made him begrudgingly agree. He’s always had a soft spot for you and your smile, especially because it always made everything seem a little lighter. No matter if it were a case, a profile, or any other conversation, you could turn his whole mood with just a simple smile. Oh, and don’t get him started about how he feels every time you beam at him.

Aaron still didn’t step away from the car, rather opening the door and holding it open for you.

Thanking him with a shy thanks you get into the car. Hotch closing the door behind you, walked in front of the car to get in himself.

Once you were both buckled in, you couldn’t hold the comment back that was burning on the tip of your tongue. It was a bold comment, especially from you, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“You’re like my passenger princess now for once,” and while that made you giggle, Aaron only shot you a slightly amused but still grumpy glare. You referred to the one time he called you that (also as a joke) when there was a local case about a year ago and he drove you back towards the head quarters. After you got hurt, he desperately needed to see you smile again and he definitely succeeded.

You started the car, put on the radio and now your little road trip could officially start.

Aaron could now properly look at you; the way your hair fell down your shoulders, the slope of your nose, the curve of your lips, the blush on your cheeks, the way your lashes touched your cheeks every time you blinked. You were truly mesmerising.

The truth was – Aaron had feelings for you, the first time he saw you was like a slap in the face, your beauty taking his breath away. It was the first time he ever felt something akin to butterflies since he first met Haley back in high school and definitely the first time he considered romance again after her death. If he were being honest, he would have hired you even if you weren’t as good at your job, for completely selfish reasons. Fortunately, though, you were an outstanding agent and fit right in with Garcia, who would be your closest colleague. That day he couldn’t get you out of his head, and till this day he couldn’t.

But as long as he wasn’t 100% that you felt the same, he wouldn’t act on his feelings. As you were his employee it also wouldn’t sit right with him to possibly put you in an uncomfortable position or force you to do something you may didn’t want to do.

So, for now he would just keep on watching from afar, or as of now, rather from up close. He wasn’t too mad about you driving, that way you couldn’t pay him too much mind while he could fully concentrate on studying your face and committing it his mind.

A Beatles song coming on the radio, interrupted his train of thought. Before he could do it though, your hand reached out and increased the volume, the song now filling every inch of the car. And to Aarons absolute delight, he could hear your gentle voice singing along. Now he suddenly wished the music weren’t quite as loud, so he could hear you better, but he would take what he could get.

Once the Beatles have passed, the station played a lot of other stuff Aaron thought you wouldn’t really like or would be too young to know, but you knew the lyrics to all of the songs. Hotch assumed that you didn’t even realise that you were singing, which made the moment strangely more intimate. After about one and a half hours of driving, there was suddenly a loud metallic sounding noise, which made you both freeze.

You pulled over and got out of the car, Aaron immediately following suit. Once you’ve walked around the car, you saw exactly what caused the noise – you had a flat tire. Upon taking a closer look you could see that you must have driven over a nail, which was now stuck in said tire.

Aaron saw the issue as well. “Do we have a spare tire?”

“I have no idea, how about you check the trunk?”

“Good idea,” Aaron said, already on his way to the back of the car.

“Wait- Aaron, do you know how to change a tire?” you only now realised that you definitely did not know how to change one and you just prayed that he knew, because calling someone because of that would be a bit embarrassing. It would also prolong your stay at the side of the road, which also wouldn’t be ideal.

You probably didn’t realise what you said, but hearing his first name falling from your lips almost made Aaron blush like a schoolgirl. Usually, both of you kept a professional face, never using your frost names unless you were meeting after a case with the others.

Once Aaron had calmed down a bit, he came back with a spare tire and answered you, ��Of course I know how to change one, don’t you?”

“Uhm- well, I never had to do it, and it also never happened to me before. I’m glad you know how to do it though,” the smile returned to your face, while Aaron got to work.

He encouraged you to watch and explained everything to you, even letting you fasten a few of the screws and rewarding you with a rare smile once the new tire was installed.

Finally, you went back to the car and resumed your journey. It all went well, but of course, it couldn’t stay like that for long.

From one moment to the other, it suddenly started raining like crazy, the roads slick from the rain. The journey would have taken a few hours that you planned to drive without any overnight breaks, but the rain made that almost impossible.

“Maybe we should stay the night somewhere and wait for the rain to stop,” Aarons gentle voice cut through your inner turmoil. It always scared you a bit that he could tell exactly what you were thinking without you saying a single word.

“That’s a good idea; I’ll stop at the next motel.”

Finally, the next exit neared, the storm only getting worse and worse by the minute. You were glad you finally got off the street, all of Reid’s statistics about car accidents in extreme weather conditions plaguing your mind.

You took the exit, the dingy motel not looking like the most comfortable, but it was the only shelter you could get at the moment.

After parking the car, the two of you grabbed your go-bags and hurried inside. From the inside the motel had the same shabby charme as on the outside. A bored looking teenager looked up as you approached the information desk. Hotch took over the talking, asking for two rooms.

“We only have one room available at the moment, we should have more tomorrow, though,” came from the boy, his voice unwaveringly monotone.

The two of you made short eye contact, your smile reassuring him that it was all right.

“It’s fine, we’ll take it.”

He handed over the key, Aaron leading the way to your room. After opening the door, he held it open for you, letting you take the first look at your little oasis. You froze in the middle of the doorway, the single queen-sized bed in the middle of the small room almost glaring at you. The flowery sheets that matched the dusty curtains just added to your horror.

“Are you alright?” came his voice through your brain fog, your legs immediately starting to move again.

“Oh, yea I’m fine, I just didn’t expect it.”

“Expect what?” he asked before stepping inside himself “Oh.”

You turned around, the mild shock evident in his voice.

“If you’d like I can sleep on the floor, if this arrangement makes you uncomfortable,” he immediately offered once you had fully turned around.

“There’s no way I’m letting you sleep on the floor with a damaged ear and bruised body. We’re both grown ups, if you don’t mind, we can share the bed,” you’d do anything to get that poor man off the floor, even if the thought of sharing a bed made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

He gives you a curt nod before offering you the bathroom first, claiming he still wanted to call Jack. You told him to send the little boy lots of kisses from you before taking your go bag and disappearing into the bathroom.

After taking a shower, brushing your teeth, and doing your short skin care routine, you step outside again. Aaron had taken off his jacket and tie, the top buttons of his shirt undone. He looked up once he heard the door open, his eyes wandering over your pyjama which only consisted of shorts and a baggy t-shirt, that barely covered you, your legs on fully display.

He realised he may have stared at you when you started moving again, taking a seat at the other side – your side – of the bed. Grabbing his own bag, Aaron disappeared wordlessly into the bathroom.

You prayed that you didn’t make him uncomfortable with your outfit, you didn’t think you had to share a room with anyone, especially not with him. Slipping under the covers, you take your book and start reading, quickly losing yourself in the pace of the book.

When Aaron had taken his shower and joined you in bed again, you tried your best to stay neutral. You put away your book, leaning over to your bed side table to turn off the light. He did the same, both of you covering yourselves with the blanket before wishing each other a good night.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep, both exhausted from the intense case and long car ride. But you woke up not soon after, having slept for about two hours.

The first thing you noticed was a steady warmth against you and something heavy on your stomach. You opened around and turned your head, jut to see Aaron’s head in the crook of your neck, silently snoring while the creases absent from his usually frowny face. He was hugging your body and had apparently pulled you closer to him in his sleep. The contempt expression on his face kept you from waking him, though your eyes seemed to have disrupted his sleep.

Aaron opened his eyes, immediately feeling groggy. What was unusual though, was the warm body that he apparently had hugged to himself. The comfort of the position almost lulled him back to sleep when he felt eyes on him and remembered who he had pulled closer to him.

He raised his gaze, meeting your curious eyes, but not once did his grip on you falter.

“Didn’t take you for a cuddly guy, Hotchner,” your sleepy voice broke the silence, filling the space between you. Your faces were so close together, that Aaron could feel your breath fanning on his face, just how he was sure you felt him breathing against your neck just moments before.

After a quick laugh escape him, he pleaded with you. “Please, we are literally cuddling right now, please call me Aaron.” You calling him by his first name, would make the situation so much more intimate. It wouldn’t just be Hotch being a bit lonely and cuddling up to you while unconscious, it would mean so much more.

His comment made both of you laugh and after silence settled again neither of you could deny the tension now. Your eyes moved from his, to his lips before returning, a new hunger suddenly visible in your eyes.

Aaron got the cue and took the first step, leaning forward and connecting your lips. Your face was already so close to his that it didn’t take much to kiss you, only a small tilt of his face and a slight change of position on your part and you finally got what you dreamed of for years.

But it was so much better than you could ever imagine, his lips unbelievable soft and steady against yours, his lashes fluttering and hands wandering to your waist, holding you steadily against him. One of your hands finds it’s way to his chest, the other one gliding into the hairs on the back of his neck, holding him close to you.

Even though you started out slow, it didn’t take long to get a tad more heated. Hands started to wander, to explore and you could feel Aaron’s tongue running over your bottom lip, seeking entrance.

Instinctively you part your lips, his tongue slipping into your mouth. Your tongues didn’t fight for dominance, they moved together, finding a rhythm in each other. Unfortunately, you had to breathe, so you reluctantly pulled away, Aaron’s lips chasing after yours.

You opened your eyes, immediately finding his, pupils blown wide, his breathing heavy.

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice still groggy with sleep, though not at all uncertain.

“You, Aaron.” His name from your lips made something in him snap. He connected your lips again, before flipping you, so he was completely on top of you, covering your frame with his body.

Aarons lips parted from yours, now making their way over your face to your neck and slightly under the hem of your shirt, the feeling of his lips against your hot skin driving you insane. Before he could go any further though, you stopped him by fisting his sleep shirt and pulling him up to you again.

Now, you could also feel his arousal, his prominent bulge pressing against your thigh, making you whimper.

The man above you gave you a slightly puzzled look.

“I need you now, I don’t think I can wait any longer, Aaron,” your voice was breathy, but you made clear what you wanted, because you knew Aaron would give it to you. The thought made your heart rate increase even more, if possible.

“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” the nickname made you swoon, though his lips on yours served a quick distraction.

 His hands started to wander again, halting at the waistband of your sleep shorts. Before he could even pull away you were already nodding your hand and burying your hands in his hair. Aaron let his hand slide under the waistband, finally making contact with your heat.

You let out a moan once he let his middle finger slide through your folds, the sensation almost too much. He withdrew his hand to pull the shorts down and you were quick to kick them off.

Now, Aaron pulled down the waistband of his own pants, freeing his impressive length. He wasn’t just long, but also just the right kind of girthy and veiny. You couldn’t help yourself, one hand reaching down and wrapping around him. Slowly, you started to apply pressure moving your hand up and down, letting the palm of your hand glide over his tip, not once breaking the kiss.

He let out a low groan into your mouth and grabbed you by the wrist, pulling your hand away. Taking his length in his own hand he finally moved himself towards your entrance. His tip made contact with you and Aaron didn’t waste any time and started to press inside of you.

Because of the lack of foreplay, he made sure to give you enough time to get used to the intrusion, you hand now gripping his biceps for leverage. Once fully inside of you he let out a sigh, the hand not holding him up wandered to your face cupping your cheek. Your eyes fluttered open, making contact with his. Giving him a nod to signal him to start moving, he pulled out almost completely, before completely bottoming out again, the front of his pubic bone touching your clit in this position.

He pressed his chest against yours before finding a comfortable rhythm, slow but sure, adding so much more intimacy to the situation. The only noise that could be heard in the room where your joined moans and groans and the careful sound of skin hitting skin. It didn’t take long for you to get closed, his chest rubbing against your nipples, his pubic bone against our clit and his thick cock inside of you, an almost overwhelming experience.

By the way Aaron was panting and the way his cock twitched inside of you, you knew he was close.

“Please, come inside of me, Aaron. I’m so close," you whispered into his good ear on purpose. Your warm tight walls, your voice and that final little detail made him unravel, his cock spurting his cum into you, painting your walls white.

Aaron groaning into your ear and the sensation of his cum filling you, made the tight coil in you finally snap and you threw back your head with a moan of his name. He slowly came to a halt inside of you before peppering countless little kisses onto your face, helping you calm down.

Once the two of you had your breathing under control, Aaron placed a final kiss on your lips before pulling out of you, making you whine and him hiss at the loss of contact.

He unravelled from your arms and went to the bathroom to clean himself up. Joining you again he held a warm washcloth, which he used to clean you up with a gentle hand, running his free hand over your hip and soothing you. He threw it onto the bedside table before laying down with you again, opening his arm for you. Not hesitating for even a moment you scoot closer and lay your head onto his chest, your arm wrapping around his torso. His hand softly stroked your hair while the other one went to your hip, drawing small shapes onto your skin.

You tilt your head back to look at him. “Aaron, I have to tell you something,” his heart started beating faster, your ear still pressed to his chest, though he only answers with a hum and thoughtful eyes, “I wasn’t really honest with you in the past. I have feelings for you, Aaron, and I have for quite a while now. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable with this, especially if you thought that this was only a one time thin-“ Aaron cut your rambling off with a kiss.

“Don’t worry, honey. I love you too.”

Content and also very relieved you place another quick peck on his lips before laying down on his chest again and closing your eyes.

It is to say that the rest of your road trip went without any further interruptions and the silence in the car was now anything but awkward.

a/n: i hope you liked this, if so please leave some notes, likes, reblogs and comments! feedback is very appreciated! i’d like to write more with criminal minds characters, so if you have any ideas/requests lmk!!

please also consider supporting my ao3: @ softestqueeen

requests open! (now also for the x files)

taglist: @silvermagnolias@milywatermelon@bigbananaa @mmmmokdok people interested in the initial post: @lmg-stilinski24 @mrs-ssa-hotch @htchnr @casualkryptonitekitten @their-love @itsfelicity-emma @fanficrseblogged

[balteringanatidae]

Here Comes the Sun

pairing: s.r x fem!bau!reader word count: 2.8k contents: not proof read i’m sorry… fluffy :3 title taken from a beatles song, suggestive content, but no smut!!!rushed, badly written, post prison!reid, professor!reid mentioned, very tiny jeid reference, eventually sweetheart!spence, his tism is showing, cuddling <33, emily is a little shit the one time she’s mentioned, allusions to sex, sneakin’ around a/n: this is kinda bad… idk. i just needed to post a fic because im sure you guys are tired of me thirsting over glasses reid </3

You joined the team when Reid was on sabbatical leave. You were yet to be introduced to him until your second week. He was insensitive and distant, especially with you (only distant); he lacked that shine in his eyes you saw in other people. To which the team clarified he wasn’t forever like that, and he’d changed after he went to prison. You felt nothing but empathy for him, and you wished he could find that happiness he once harbored.

In the first one hundred days you got to know him, you unknowingly profiled his every move. Every diminutive gesture, a raise of an eyebrow to a giggle that slipped from his lips. You deduced that he was most comfortable around JJ and Luke, and he missed a former agent named Derek Morgan. He was least relaxed around you; he shielded himself near you. He would plow his hands into his pockets and purse his lips awkwardly.

You’d managed to pry a few conversations out of him, and you couldn’t be more different than him. Despite your job, you were the biggest optimist ever. Spencer was a blunt realist, which you’d expected, but his honesty shocked you. You two had serious conversations, less lighthearted than the ones you heard him have with other members. It made you wish that he would be more comfortable with you.

You would watch him from afar, your heart breaking at his permanent pout and glossy eyes. You would seldom ask ‘a penny for his thoughts,’ but he always hesitated, simply laughing it off, pulling the infamous ‘I’m fine.’

You, of course, respected his boundaries, but you felt as if you hadn't even developed any camaraderie. You two felt like strangers, because it was all you were. There was no bond; there was no relationship. Simply coworkers, and you didn’t think that he wanted anything more than that.

Of course, you preferred a professional relationship, but sometimes you wished he would give you a smile like he did to any other member. After what he’s been through, you don’t blame him for not wanting to develop new, close relationships. It would only make it worse to force a friendship upon you two. If it doesn’t happen, that’s it.

Then, it was thirty days without him. It felt no different than your average days at the BAU. Other team members were affected, but you couldn’t feel any more normal. It wasn’t that you didn’t care for him, but the complete opposite. It was simply that he wasn’t a key part of your social life as the other team members were. Of course, working the cases felt slightly different—void of his nerdy aura.

The air felt less tense for you. You were closer with the other team members; you couldn’t deny that you felt bad to feel better without Spencer. It wasn’t because he was gone, per se, you simply felt more comfortable.

The thirty days seemed to be the longest month of your life, because when you saw him, you felt relieved to know he was there, he was alive. First day back at the BAU, he wrapped his arms around JJ tightly, spinning her in a circle, erupting gentle laughter from the blonde. You smiled, because it was a wholesome sight, and you totally didn’t wish that she were you.

Winter came around with Spencer, and the team received significantly fewer cases, which made you wonder if even serial killers feared the cold. The thought was almost humorous. The rare cases the team received were in the warmer states like Arizona and Florida. It was nice to seldom escape the cold and experience a bit of warmth this time of year.

Unfortunately, some serial killers feared nothing. The team accepted a case in North Dakota, an unsub taking advantage of the cold, utilizing it to torture their victims. Though you were a profiler, you could never actually be in someone's brain, and you could never figure out where such creativity came from.

You and Spencer arrived at the first crime scene. It wasn’t unusual, because you guys worked well together professionally. You strode in sync, walking over to the lifeless, cold victim. You shivered, in horror and because you were cold. You two had been standing in the middle of a field; what would’ve been beautiful grass was covered in snow.

“This is… unusual,” you acknowledged quietly, because it was more than obvious. Spencer let out an amused scoff and nod, his breath causing tiny clouds to form in the wintry air.

You two examined the victim with meticulousness and sympathy. You couldn’t bring yourself to look into the victim’s dull eyes. You almost winced at the sight of their body overall. The contrast between their practically blue body and the blood from their chest was horrific.

You sighed with a shiver as you turned to walk away, Spencer still examining the victim, imprinting the image into his head for future reference. You didn’t bother to ask whether he was coming or not, because he had to get back to the station, so it would only be stupid to ask.

Closing in on the distance to the car, you felt a warm, cozy object encircle your neck: Spencer’s purple scarf. He didn’t have to, but your whole body was practically shaking, and he couldn’t handle it.

You turned around to him, the cool wind blowing his hair out of place (not that it was in place to start). “You’ll be cold.” You started to take the scarf off, and he immediately grabbed your hand, stopping you.

���Sorry, um, no. Keep it. I’m fine, and you’re shivering.” His hand still holding yours, until he realized the awkward position, he let go. “Are you warm?”

You nodded, which wasn’t a lie to simply satisfy him. You now understood why he wore it recently. It was welcoming, warm, and relaxing. You felt like the fierce cold couldn’t touch you anymore, though you knew it’d win.

He stepped over to the driver's side, avoiding the ice in the road, to open the door for you.

“I’m the driver, Reid. You didn’t have to do that.” You smiled at him involuntarily, the gesture just sweet. You quickly started up the car, yearning for the warmth that would leave the vents.

“It’s just respectful.” He hummed, closing the door behind you as you leaned down into the car. He strolled back to the passenger side, taking the seat next to you, taking in the heating temperature of the car.

“You’re suddenly a gentleman, hm?” You chuckled, glancing over to Spencer, a slight smile crept onto his lips.

You could seriously get used to this.

The next roughly ninety days of winter were warm because you were filled with warmth. Each morning at the BAU, Spencer would make you a cup of coffee and have it on your desk before or right on time as you arrived. It prompted for a conversation—specifically, each time an awkward conversation about the weather, which was the same every day, but it was an excuse to interact. He became comfortable enough to ramble to you; it was mostly about how D.C. didn’t even get the worst winter in the US and comparing your fortunate weather to other states that were freezing.

You’d be bored in the morning; Spencer was a form of entertainment, but not just that. He seemed the happiest when he could talk and talk so much. He had so much to say, and people let him say so little. It disheartened him, so of course, he expected it from you. He didn’t expect your pout when he suddenly stopped talking, it made his eyes light up.

You actually cared.

He beamed before he started prattling on again, and you listened intently as you sipped your coffee, his purple scarf around your neck—which he noticed, and it made his heart flutter.

“You really… like the scarf?” he haphazardly blurted in the middle of his rambling, with something of humor in his voice.

“Of course I do! It’s also given me a chance to wear all of the purple in my closet while staying warm.” You nodded, looking down at your outfit, wearing a purple cardigan he hadn't seen before. He noticed your new versatility in style, and he liked it. “Why wouldn't I like it?”

“Oh—It’s just old. I've had it for a while, and it’s kind of ugly. It, um..." he cleared his throat, “it looks great on you.”

“Are you flirting with me, Reid?”

His face flushed an unusual shade of red, and his lips immediately parted to object, but he couldn't say anything. He simply looked like a tomato.

“Oh, no, I was joking!” You giggled a bit, the back of your hand traveling to his cheek to feel the heat of his face. “I know you weren't flirting.”

“O-oh…” He spoke through an uneasy chuckle, and your hand on his face served no consolation to his nervousness.

Even this moment wasn't too awkward, it was humorous to you, and Spencer was minorly embarrassed, mainly adoring your giggles at his red face. The idea of germs was in the back of his mind as you handled his face, but he couldn't care less.

You had one more case with him before he left on sabbatical leave. You took advantage of it. You had the chance (not even a choice, actually) to share a hotel room, and you couldn’t help but think it would make it awkward again.

Spencer had been lying in bed before you were out of your work clothes. He was lying on his back, his eyes tightly closed, afraid to see something he didn't want to.

“Asleep already?” You were changing into the comfortable clothes you packed to sleep in. You would've packed better if you knew someone had to see you in your pajamas.

“No, I’m afraid I might see you… you know, changing.”

“Afraid?” You chuckled, climbing into your side of the bed, a lot of space between you two, which was comfortable and not awkward.

“You know what I mean.” He sighed as he turned to face you, his eyes opening to notice the comedically large space. “I think you could move a bit closer?”

You scooted a bit closer, the space shrinking narrowly. “Just a little more,” he murmured.

“Do you want to cuddle with me, Reid?” You jested as you two lay a few inches apart now.

A giggle erupted from his lips, but he shook his head. He reached out to sweep your hair out of your face, his fingers lingering on your cheek. He examined your facial structure closely, and you stared into his big hazel eyes.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you hummed, stifling a smile as his eyes widened in surprise. “Sorry to scare you.”

“No, I’m sorry for staring.” He pulled his hand away, your skin immediately missing his frigid fingers.

You murmured a quiet assurance to him, holding the eye contact for a moment. A moment of adoration.

“Can we?” he vaguely proposed.

“What?”

“Can we cuddle?” He breathed out a shaky breath, opening his mouth to object to his own proposal, but you cut him off before he could.

“I’d like that, if you’re truly comfortable with it.”You closed the space between you two, and you felt Spencer wrap his arm around you, gently lifting you up, some of your weight resting on him.

You two lay like that for a while, his hand encircling your waist, his index finger sketching obscure shapes on your clothes abdomen. You were half asleep, his melodic breaths lulling you to sleep. Your face in his neck, you could feel his pulse against your lips. It was clearly intimate, but you could tell he had no intent to try to initiate anything further. He made you feel safe.

“Good night,” he murmured as he felt your eyelashes flutter shut against his neck. You reiterated it lazily, more of a hum than anything. He simply smiled, pressing a kiss to your scalp as you dozed off.

But you felt it.

This was the first time you’d genuinely been affected by his presence, or lack of it. You walked in, and there was no cup of coffee on your desk. It was disheartening, truly, because the cup of coffee was the greatest reminder of his presence and how much he began to care about you.

“Someone’s missing Reid.” Emily chuckled as she watched the coffee drip into the pot. There was enough for her, but she waited until there was enough for both of you to get a cup, stalling for time to talk.

You turned to her as a look of curiosity painted your face. Then you noticed his personalized mug was gone too. “Who?”

“You, newbie.” Though the term was reserved for Luke, Emily still used it for you because you were fairly new.

That obvious?

“Well, of course I do! He’s a valuable asset to the team. It only makes sense to miss his presence,” you explained, an odd defensiveness in your tone.

Emily hid her smirk and simply nodded, agreeing with you. She poured coffee into her mug, leaving just enough for you.

You were still dumbfounded by the fact that she drank her coffee black and the fact that you were not discreet at all.

So, you’d spend the next month evidently pining.

Or so you thought.

“So, how are you settling in without me?” you teased over the phone, standing near the toaster, making sure your toast didn’t get too dark.

“Not too well, I think this feeling is called yearning,” Spencer exaggerated, setting up for early morning lectures.

“Hm, ditto.” You jumped a bit as the toast popped up without warning—of course—having been immersed in the conversation with Spencer. “You could always visit me, or vice versa,” you proposed.

There was silence for longer than you would've liked, but you gave him a moment to think.

“I’d like that… to visit you, I mean. My apartment isn't the most organized,” he agreed, a quiet chuckle exiting his lips.

“It’s a date!” You beamed as you placed your toast onto a plate. The sun shone through your opened curtains, casting a light onto your dining table.

“Great. I’ll see you tonight.” And with that being the end, you noticed that you two were talking for half an hour.

You would have never guessed that one day, you would be cuddled up with your coworker who you were certain hated you. On your couch, in his Caltech sweatshirt that he generously offered you for no reason, and he was only wearing, what was before, a matching shirt that was slightly tight on his new muscles.

In this moment you knew that—you didn’t have to guess it—but you didn’t know how his lips ended up clashing with yours, ignoring whatever movie you were watching, captured in this random makeout session. And he kissed you with love, like he feared he would never be able to do it again.

Spencer pulled away hesitantly. “I’m sorry, the movie—“

“No, it’s okay. The movie can wait.” He immediately nodded in agreement as you pulled him back in. His hand on your stomach unhurriedly pushed you down onto the couch, your head held up by the armrest.

He sat in between your legs, his kisses beginning to trail down your neck, and soon, that sweatshirt he gave you was long gone, and everything else.

Nothing about him surprised you, especially not how gentle he was. It was basically expected.

As stated before, Spencer never surprised you much since the second you learned he was a genius. He knew how to do most everything, but you didn’t imagine that he knew how to treat a woman so greatly.

“Do you feel okay?” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose.

All you could do was nod, your eyes slowly opening and closing. You could feel a cloth cleaning you gently; it was relieving, just like the touch of his lips to your skin.

“Have I said it yet?”

“Said what?”

“That I love you,” you hummed, you could faintly see him shaking his head.

“No, but I know, and I love you too,” he said it casually, as if he’d said it a million times already. “And I can’t exaggerate how much I mean it.”

You reached up to swat his hair away from his face, his big hazel eyes visible to you now. Your eyes trailed down to the marks on his neck, you grimaced. “Do you have to teach tomorrow?”

“I don’t… have to. I can spend tomorrow with you.”

Your eyes were busy trailing downward, and then you felt perverse, so you redirected your vision to his eyes. “Work,” you complained, sitting upright.

“Right.” He sighed. When he was on sabbatical leave, he tried his best to forget about work, and you most definitely helped. “So this is fraternization, isn’t it?”

You shook your head, pulling him down onto you once more. “Not if no one knows.” You hummed as you watched the sun peek through the blinds, shining onto Spencer’s face, which reminded you how late—or early—you guys had been up.

Till the first day of spring, you could say.

[welcome-to-green-hills]

Now that Sonic 3 has been released…I humbly request Shadow and Maria headcanons. Please? 🥺

Hi Hon❤️✨

I’m more than happy to supply you some headcanons of Shadow and Maria:

Every night before bed, Maria brushes Shadow’s quills and hums him a song that her mother would sing to her as a baby. Even today Shadow will hum the tune under his breath.

Shadow and Maria like to snack on Razzles. They’re easy to hide in quills and in pockets, as well as a good sugary treat. To this day Shadow will only eat the purple ones.

Shadow and Maria were notorious for turning the bunker’s cafeteria into a roller skating rink where they competitively raced against each other.

Maria once tried to get Shadow into the 1970’s fashion of bell bottoms, jumpsuits, and tie-dye shirts. While it may be a preference for Maria, Shadow’s preference lies more with suede and leather jackets with Coke bottle cap pins.

Maria had a pet rock that she owned in the bunker. It was the ‘70s. That was normal.

Shadow and Maria had matching mood rings that they wore on their pinkies. That, and matching friendship bracelets. Shadow still wears his friendship bracelet underneath his glove cuff above his ring inhibitor.

Maria is a master in stealing Shadow from testing. And she gets very creative too! Sometimes she crawls through the vents to steal him, other times she wears a fake disguise. The scientists have learned to not be so ornery about Maria stealing him since she’s Gerald’s granddaughter.

There are tons of film negatives that Shadow stole from G.U.N.’s archives of him and Maria doing Ark Sibling antics. He keeps the film negatives in his quills.

Shadow and Maria slept in a bunk bed with Maria in the bottom bunk and Shadow up top.

Shadow and Maria are big fans of the Beatles, Aerosmith, Jefferson Airplane, ABBA, Queen, Simon & Garfunkel, and Redbone.

If they’re not roller skating or watching films, they two like to play board games. Their go-to game is “Clue,” but only if Maria gets to make up crimes scenarios and backstories for each of the characters.

Shadow and Maria like to watch Peanuts cartoons. Maria always comment how her relationship with Shadow is similar to Snoopy and Woodstock.

Maria is a big root beer float fan, Shadow likes an Orange Julius.

The two of them like to make flora pinky rings whenever they sit in the field of daisies.

In terms of food, Maria and Shadow’s go-to breakfast, lunch, and dinner is pizza. Maria likes an all pepperoni with green pepper pie while Shadow switches up pizza toppings every week. It’s very important to sample toppings, you know.😊

And finally, Shadow and Maria have shoeboxes filled with photographs (mainly blurry ones) of their entire childhood in the bunker. Sonic managed to save one of the photos to give to Shadow fifty years later.

[hibiscusspunweb]

Percy Jackson headcanons Part 3

-Percy has a siren’s voice. When he sings or hums, the attention of anyone in the vicinity is drawn to him.

-Also, Percy is definitely a huge Queen fan

-Annabeth has a spray bottle of salt water 

-Jason  listens to classical music (he just looks like he would)

-Reyna is a fucking demon at pillow fights for some unexplained reason

-Thalia likes strawberry Mentos 

-Also has a dart board up with a picture of Luke in the center (she consistently hits her mark)

-Leo sleeps in a fetal position 

-Frank likes stormy weather and stratus clouds 

-Also a frequent user of “gee willickers” or “golly gee”

-Will is an avid Beatles listener 

-Austin always has cork grease in his pocket 

-His favorite fruit is the mango as well

-Leo listens to Tyler, the Creator

-Frank occasionally listens to Viking music  (no explanation why)

-Nico loves analog horror 

-Will watches it with him

-Piper HATES harpies after her several encounters with them

-The Poseidon cabin occasionally gets flooded (via Percy)

-The Athena cabin is either really neat and organized or cluttered with blueprints, armor, etc.

-The Demeter cabin figured out how to grow blue raspberries 

-They also grow all kinds of weird fruit 

-Leo makes fake accounts on dating apps for shits and giggles

-Percy once threw an apple at Annabeth and she caught it. 

-The Apollo cabin’s walls are plastered with musical posters 

-Will smells like cough syrup 

[bonesandthebees]

Help I'm so out of the loop, what did Dream do this time? Who was the Mangoball person? How is Connor related to any of this??

ok. ok. there is so much to explain so I'll start with the easy stuff.

after so many years, mangoball revealed themself on a post by icarus aka apollos-boyfriend. they are now a beatles fan.

god bless

okay now. sigh. dream.

you're not going to believe me but this is a condensed version.

but recently a clip surfaced from the shut up I'm talking podcast of tommy talking about how much he disliked meeting mizkif. mizkif wasn't thrilled about this. xqc called tommy cringe for it, tommy made a post making fun of xqc calling him cringe for wearing a trump shirt during the stream he did where he met trump, xqc shot back by tweeting one of tommy's standup clips and making fun of him for having an audience of mostly teenage girls. then, despite not being mentioned or involved in the conversation in any way, dream qrted xqc's tweet making fun of tommy with a meme outright calling all tommyinnit fans the r slur.

dream ended up deleting the tweet but only after a few hours or something so everyone had already seen it. he tried to defend himself on twitter, claiming that because he's autistic he's allowed to use it. this all happened very late at night in the US so the british streamers were asleep. dream also made a reddit post trying to defend himself, insulting tommy and co. and saying tommy had no backbone. next day, tubbo had a stream outright talking about how much he dislikes dream and defending tommy, while also acknowledging his own bias towards his friends.

that night, once again when the rest of the british ccs had gone to sleep, dream did a very late night stream that was basically him crashing out for 3 straight hours. he went over very cherry-picked parts of tubbo's VOD, 'explaining' himself and talking about how tommy was always such a terrible cruel friend to him (when tommy was, like, 17 mind you. he covered so many things I literally cannot remember them all but he shared private dms he's had with multiple ccs and also outright said someone shared skephalo porn art in the dsmp discord when tommy and tubbo were 16 but it was fine because the teens 'asked to be treated like adults' (??????????)

today tubbo streamed again, watching dream's stream and responding and acknowledging his own slip ups/mistakes he made while also calling dream out for a lot of the bs he said. he was also supposed to have a call on stream with dream to talk it out, but then during tubbo's stream tommy uploaded an absolutely scathing 5 minute video talking about how terrible dream has been over the years, and dream cancelled the scheduled call he had with tubbo. like if you want to watch anything from this entire mess, watch tommy's video. if you want a more full view of things, watch tubbo's VOD from today.

then quackity streamed today and everyone expected him to say something because dream also brought him up for some reason?? during his stream??? and shared private dms they had?????? but quackity is still winning the idgaf war. he just promoed some new stuff he's doing and then went "there was something else I was going to talk about but I forgot what it was. oh well, later guys!"

look this is. again. kind of condensed. the last two days have felt like ten years.

meanwhile connor has been having gold tier commentary on the whole mess on twitter, unsurprisingly.

[shapelytimber]

Wanted to paint some of my favorite characters, nothing more nothing less

[COMMISSIONS]

Way too much yapping like an embarrassing amount, the individual portraits and the template I used below vvv

I shouldn't be allowed to talk about my favorite characters- especially to people who (presumably) don't know them xjfkdk apart from the very popular ones ofc

ILLYA KURYAKIN (The man from U.N.C.L.E)

gay ass little Russian spy I love him he is so *dramatic* and a huge nerd and a Beatles fan and into fashion design- perfect pocket size blorbo ;w; also seeing a Russian character being given a positive leading role in an American tvshow from the 60s ?? Yes he lives in New York and works for UNCLE America.... But he is still a communist ?? Incredible ! Also I really like the fact he isn't given the cliché personality traits often given to Russian characters i e anger issues drinks a lot violent ect (looking at you shitty(imo) modern remake... What did you do to my little guy ;;). In a close contest with Spock for the "gayest man from tvshow" of the 60s..... And in my heart he is winning djdkd for me the gay subtext of muncle hits so much more because it's not a scifi show- it's closer to home, Napoleon and Illya were *like that* in the present day of the 60s, they were both human, and no alien fuckery made them go to the village more than once or play house in the suburbs or get attached ass up to get pegged on a regular basis... Truly a show that feels written by an old queen and a guy with the biggest fem dom fetish jkvjjkb (don't get me wrong tho I adore star trek tos and spirk too <3)

KUROO HAZAMA and PINOKO (Black Jack)

sometimes I rewatch some of the oavs from the 90s when I'm sad :) I had a huge phase a couple years back when I read nearly all the manga (should really finish it... Or reread the whole thing frankly), watched *all* the shows (bar young black jack, hated that shit) and idk I just love this venal bitch so much- him and his daughter and his conflicted feelings for his tboy ex that he still loves kfkfkf btw I'm dying for a modern take on this like please please please I'd love to see Kei Kisaragi's story rewritten a bit (trans character in the 70s sure was progressive but oh boy-), because him and black jack's relationship makes me so *weak*.... And maybe see him a bit more than in one story- anyway ! When it comes to his daughter Pinoko, it's very hit or miss- when the writers lean on the cute father adoptive daughter relationship it's great, when they lean more on the whole "she has a crush on him" (very much like a child in most case, and he *never* reciprocate thank god) and bring up the fact she is technically 18 a lot (she was an evil tumor trapped in her sister before he created a body for her- black jack shit dw), and she gets jealous of other women.... Well it's terrible and I'm uncomfy :(

EVA KANT (Diabolik)

Look.... You just can't show me danger diabolik 1968 and not expect me to become insane djdkdkdk she is so cool ;; !!! Her and her devious eel of a man (here as a panther, because even tho I haven't read the comic yet, I'm taking an educated guess that all the panther imagery is here to represent him, the lethal twunk always in the all black gimp suit... And if it's not then fuck my entire life ig fjfkkd), the cuntiest het couple you've ever seen, such freaks I love them ! Partners in crime that will blow up the tax offices of the whole country if you try to put a bounty on them <3 they are in the guilty faves category only because I'm this invested in these characters after 1 (one) movie fkfkf watched the first two remakes and was hmmm let's say underwhelmed, could have been worse but going after the 60s one ie peak cinema was hard... I went in fully invested in these heterosexuals and they still fucked up their romance and relationship ;; (don't spoil me the third one btw haven't seen it yet ! I know it's the yaoi one- which doesn't give me much hope for Eva tbh...) I'll soon start reading the comics tho ! Managed to find all twelve volumes of "Il grande Diabolik" in french for pretty cheap so I'm excited for that :D (might scan them and upload them online because omg I tried finding scans in *any* language and only found a dubious website that sold digital copies for 7€ a volume ??? What is this)

UTA (The Void / Тургор / Turgor / Tension)

Apathy girlyyyyy she just like me for real for real nfkfk what absolutely charmed me about her is yes her design, but more importantly her chamber's design (if you've never played the void, a sister's chamber is a space that represent her. You get a sense of who she is by exploring her chamber before finding her and talking to her soul it's great). The lonely island out at sea, her laying down on a suspended steel boat in a grotto, looking passively at the moon by a crack on the ceiling.... And the moon is looking back. Incredible ! I love this game so much

KIM KITSURAGI (Disco Elysium)

Do I really have to explain this one ? When I played the game with quiji I remember I kept saying "when Kim talks, we *listen*" djkdk we did get a good grade in Kim Kitsuragi and got him to dance in the church <3 this fucking centrist cop wormed it's way into my heart and many others because of course he did. The only Kim K in my eyes. Also funny anecdote : before I played Disco Elysium, I had one concept art masterclass where a kinda famous concept artist came to give advice, make us really stressed then give us a shitty grade.... And when I tell you this man looked so much like Kim ??? Same haircut, glasses, face with a scar *exactly* where Kim's portrait has a stark shadow on his cheek and he was dressed in an orange top- truly uncanny. Anyway, Kim is so fucking cool how does he do it

DARK VADOR (La guerre des étoiles)

*sight* not surprising if you know me... and to be clear when I say Vader I don't mean Anakin Skywalker, post barbecue only zouz here. I refuse to yap about this man djdkdk I already do that way to much in ao3 comment sections

And here is the template I used ! Don't know who made it tho sorry...

PS : all these where made in 2-3 hours each :D wanted to challenge myself by painting quickly, and I mostly (looking at the Eva Kant one that gave me trouble) succeeded !

[ravens-two]

PAC: What your Future Spouse will be like and how will you meet them?

This reading includes:

your FS's personality, vibes, and general info

how and where you will meet them for the first time

songs that represent the vibe of this relationship

The extended reading includes:

your FS's first impressions of you

your first impressions of your FS

a little moodboard

(this first extended reading is available for free!)

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone.

TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC

Pile 1

Hierophant, Hermit and Page of Swords

"Love/I said real love, it's like feeling no fear"

How will your FS be like?

Your FS has a lot of earth energy, for me it feels mainly like Capricorn and Virgo, but there's also Taurus here. This doesn't have to be their zodiac sign, I actually think it's more their overall vibe. They're responsible, down-to-earth, grounded and tend to take things seriously. They also seem to be more traditional, or at least they're someone that respects authority and think that you should follow the rules. Despite being traditional, I think that they're pretty open-minded and open to new experiences. In fact, they like to try new things, they give me scientist vibes tbh. It's like they'll try anything at least once, just to see what it will be like.

When it comes to their work they might work in STEM, law enforcement or in management. I also think that they really like to read, mainly non-fiction because they're always trying to acquire more knowledge. If they're not really readers, then this is more of a nerdy vibe when it comes to their favorite hobby. If they love cinema, then they really like cinema and will be telling you about behind the scenes and production stuff every time you two watch a movie.

I feel like they have a hard time expressing their feelings though. It's not that they're thinkers rather than feelers, it's more like they don't feel comfortable being vulnerable, however I also think that they'll do their best to work through this. These people will not cheat on you and they also do not tolerate cheating or any perceived betrayal. They are very loyal. They're in this to actually get married and stay together, not just to play around.

Also, this is very specific but I also think that they're atheists, but they're very attracted to the occult and spiritual - it's like they really want to believe in something, but they can't believe in something they can't prove.

How will you meet them?

I feel like this will be quite different for everyone, but I'm getting two main things. For some of you, you might meet your person through the internet. This could be through a dating app, social media, some of you will even meet them through an online game I'm seeing (I'm actually seeing you being really frustrated with your person, maybe they're playing against you and winning lmao). For this group your relationship might start long-distance or you and your person might have to travel a lot to see each other.

For the other group I see you meeting this person while you're away from home, this almost has an adventure vibe to it. For some, you might be going away on vacation and you meet someone there. For others, this could be a work trip and this person could be somewhat related to your work. I'm also seeing that some of you aren't exactly traveling, but you're out of town, like the city next to yours or something like that.

your vibes in songs

Cherry - Lana del Rey

Like Real People Do - Hozier

Heavenly - Cigarettes After Sex

Blackbird - Beatles

Francesca - Hozier

(checkout the first extended reading on my patreon - available for free)

Pile 2

Seven of Wands, Nine of Pentacles, Two of Cups

"put your life out on the line/you're crazy all the time"

How will your FS be like?

Oh right away your person attracts other people's attention and jealousy. They're probably very beautiful, visually striking or they've got money or status. Either way people can't take their eyes off of them. For some of you, this attention isn't for the best reasons. People might feel wary or scared by your person.

This is someone that doesn't take shit from anyone. They are assertive and have high self-esteem. People might try to put them down, but it's literally impossible. I'm actually feeling Leo, Libra and a bit of Taurus vibes here. They're like the brightest star in the room. They also believe that they're the best - not in the sense that they're better than other people, but more in a self-motivation way.

If they've got money and status - like a good job for example (I also think that they're known for their job and they are very good at it) - it's because they worked really hard for it. They don't really come from money, they worked hard for what they have. That's the other thing they are hard workers and will not settle for less than what they have envisioned. They also don't like lazy people or debbie-downers. They firmly believe that everyone makes their own destiny. (for some reason I'm also getting that they like the movie Brave lol).

When it comes to the relationship they love to shower you with gifts, it might be their love language. Also, something that they will do is support your goals and motivate you when you're feeling down.

I also get a bit of a secretive vibe from them, it's almost like they make you look at the brightest parts of them to distract you from the shadows. They sometimes might struggle mentally, I feel like this might come from some childhood trauma or anxiety. Despite this, they're fighters and don't stop trying to get better.

How will you meet them?

Unlike pile 1, I feel like this is a very old-fashioned type of meeting. You might meet in a public place, like going out to a party or to a restaurant or something like that and you see them and they will start a conversation with you and ask for your number.

Others of you will meet your person through someone else, like a friend or a co-worker will introduce you to them. I don't think that this will be match-making, but you two will be instantly attracted to each other.

Either way, this feels like a more traditional courtship type of situation lmao. You'll both take your time getting to know and really dating each other. I feel like this will be very romantic.

your vibes in songs

Art Deco - Lana del Rey

Angels - The XX

Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens

Yellow - Coldplay

Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones

(checkout the first extended reading on my patreon - available for free)

Pile 3

Tower, Knight of Swords, Eight of Pentacles

"they say I'm too young to love you/they say I'm too dumb to see"

How will your FS be like?

Talk about scorpionic energy. Your person is a force of nature, pile 3. They might have a lot of Pluto or Scorpio influence in their chart. I feel like this is the bad boy/girl pile - in a good way though. If this is a woman she is the embodiment of that dark feminine aesthetic, think Megan Fox for example. In general, they give me dark, edgy, goth vibes. But some lean more towards a romantic, Byron-esque energy. These are the type of people who will seduce you with their gaze and then with their words. They have a very intense sexual energy.

Your person isn't afraid of change, in fact, I think that they crave change. They might start out as being a bit commitment-phobic actually. Your person has also been through a lot, they might be the tortured artist type. They are deep thinkers and love to talk. Like they will talk and talk and talk. Honestly, they're happy to talk about anything, but especially about philosophical stuff or conspiracy theories or that type of thing. Also, as they are so open minded they will be open to talk about anything and are really good listeners. Like, for example, you might love Star Wars but they've never seen it, they're still super happy to talk to you about it and will know about it enough to hold a conversation. They have this gemini energy that they know a little bit about everything. They are very supportive and whenever you have a problem or are feeling down they'll sit you down and ask you to tell them everything.

I get the feeling that they know more than one language and they might actually work as translators, editors or linguists. In general though, I think that this person works freelance and does a lot of different stuff. They want to try as many professions as possible.

They love poetry or music and will either read poetry or sing for you. Again, there's an artist vibe here. They might not be an artist by profession, but they love the arts.

When it comes to their love and emotions they are very passionate. They might express their feelings in really over the top ways. It's like when they're happy they're really happy, but when they're sad they're also really sad. They feel things deeply. Being loved by them is something all-consuming.

How will you meet them?

I actually feel like most of you will meet your person through work. This might mean that you will be co-workers or that you will meet them whilst you or them are working. Let's say that you work as a lawyer for example they might become your client and that's how you get to know each other. Of course, nothing can really happen whilst they're your client, but it will happen afterwards.

For other people, you will meet them during a period that you are very focused on your career and/or you have a lot of work to do. For some people, I'm even seeing that this will be while you're doing your thesis. You're completely focused on something, maybe even feeling a bit stressed and you just meet them randomly. You won't really have time for them right away, but they'll be persistent and keep showing up on your radar until you have enough time to actually get to know each other.

your vibes in songs

Brooklyn Baby - Lana del Rey

West Coast - Lana del Rey

Can't Catch Me Now - Olivia Rodrigo

The Louvre - Lorde

Patience - Guns N' Roses

(checkout the first extended reading on my patreon - available for free)

Pile 4

Queen of Wands, Fool rx, Nine of Swords rx

"I live to love you/and I love to love you"

How will your FS be like?

Right away I can see that your person is very stubborn and strong-willed, pile 4. This manifests in both a good and a bad way. It means that they are persistent and don't change their minds without good reason. But, it also means that once they have their mind set it's very hard to make them come around.

This person is very fiery. Mainly I see Aries and Leo energy here. They are extroverted, confident and some of them are a bit brash, while others are charmers. They are also very confident in their charm and sexuality, and it's probably what will draw you to them at first.

I also see them as wanting to boost your self-esteem and show you off to others. They love some jealousy lmao (you being jealous, and also others being jealous of them and your relationship). They are absolute drama queens/kings. It amuses them to blow things out of proportion and they love it even more when you do it back at them. Okay, the scenario I'm getting is they trying to make you jealous by doing something silly or talking about an old partner, they would then love it if you were super dramatic about it and pretended to be really upset. They like to argue for fun as well. Like, honestly you need to rein them in at the dinner table so that they don't push your families/friend's buttons. They are very passionate.

I also think that they are a bit pessimistic at times, but when they really feel like that they will try to keep it to themselves instead of being overtly dramatic. I also think that they're looking for stability and a serious relationship after a time of not having it.

They really don't like surprises. And might not be too excited about change. They would prefer if everything always stayed as it is. I also, feel like sometimes they have a hard time balancing between feeling adventurous and not feeling like leaving their safe space.

I think that most of them speak really fast, and often without thinking. Which ends up with them regretting their words more often than not. Also, acting without thinking.

How will you meet them?

I'm not getting a place/physical circumstance as much as the other piles. But, I think that you will meet your person after you have been through a really hard time. Perhaps you have been struggling a lot with anxiety and are now recovering and then you randomly meet them. I feel like you'll know it's them because they will give you a feeling of calmness and peace.

For others I think that this will be a really difficult situation like the loss of a friend, family member, pet, or even a job. It will take you a long time to recover and you will still be quite vulnerable when you meet your person. You might also be a bit anxious about getting into a relationship at first.

your vibes in songs

Music To Watch Boys To - Lana del Rey

Religion - Lana del Rey

More Than Words - Extreme

She - Elvis Costello

National Anthem - Lana del Rey

(checkout the first extended reading on my patreon - available for free)

[ceofjohnlennon]

The Beatles and their fans: Some interesting facts that Lizzie Bravo, a brazilian fan who lived the beatlemania in 1967/1968, said. I translated from the interview that Lizzie gave to "Pitadas Do Sal" in 2021. May Lizzie rest in peace. ♡

Paul McCartney lived near Abbey Road so he walked around and sometimes barefoot.

The Beatles called their fans "luv" and always said hello/goodbye even if they were in the car.

When Lizzie was invited to record Across The Universe with the band, Paul McCartney asked her to sing something "in brazilian" but she was so nervous that she couldn't.

It was hard to distract John Lennon and Paul McCartney when they were together. They talked a lot in private, laughed a lot, and even finished each other's sentences. "They lived in their own bubble" Lizzie about Lennon-McCartney.

When Lizzie met John Lennon for the first time (her favorite beatle), she started crying and Mal Evans hugged her and gave her a chocolate.

George Harrison wrote Apple Scruffs for specific fans, not for all the fans who stayed in the studios.

George Harrison also wrote letters to these 3 fans in particular, thanking them for their support especially when he was starting his solo career.

Once, John Lennon was leaving Paul McCartney's house and when he said goodbye to Lizzie, who was waiting for him outside, she said "I love you" spontaneously. John smiled and waved.

Lizzie said they never seemed as mad as people sounded.

The fans did a marathon every day: They ran to Abbey Road, saw The Beatles and in the end of the afternoon they ran to Paul McCartney's house to see John Lennon go there - something he did a lot.

Sometimes they arrived together in the studio in the same car.

There were 20 or 30 fans waiting to see them everyday! It depended on which beatle would arrive before or after.

Lizzie said that The Beatles were very humble, kind and didn't even seem like the renowned band they were (and are!).

[thedickcavettshow]

Mutual #1: songs to kill yourself to [spotify link to Isis by Bob Dylan live in Boston]

Mutual #2: I'm seriously at my limit I can't do this anymore [gif of Stephen Stills Big Sur fight]

Mutual #3: [tags person who once spent 4 months anonymously suicide baiting me] you're my best friend in the whole world lets get married <3

Mutual #4: Who wants to have The E Street Band themed sex with me

Mutual #5: Any person who doesn't like The Beatles is an idiot and should die

Mutual #6: I've never liked The Beatles tbh

Mutual #7: Joan Baez if you're reading this I'm single and willing to do anything

Mutual #8: I've always wanted to fuck him [worst picture of Bob Dylan ever taken]

Mutual #9: I think I'm fundamentally an unlovable person

Mutual #10: Dropping out of college so I can focus on daydreaming about fucking Leonard Cohen full time

[xhunnybeeex]

Hayden christensen character music/playlist headcanons 

playlists at the bottom of sections :3

❥ ~ Sam Monroe ~ 

Sam Monroe ~ mainly listens to mall goth/ metal, that's just cannon. However, he DEFINITELY got really into other goth subgenres while finding cds. 

Sam Monroe ~ would have to be forced to admit he loves riot girl movies. 

“Is this bikini kill in your mixtape?” you ask Sam as you dig through his cds. “I didn't know you were into riot girl music.” “I'm not,” he grumbles. 

Sam Monroe ~ loves angry midwest emo music. He loves the emo whine. 

Sam Monroe ~ doesn’t have a very diverse taste. He only really likes alt genres, but every once in a while you'll see him nod his head to pop songs on the radio. 

"this is clearly a differnt genre what are you talking about" sam protest. "Theyre all just screaming how is that different!" you yell back.

Sam Monroe ~ is the type to say “name three songs”, but only in front of other alt people to look cool. 

Sam Monroe ~ loves the goth culture but doesn't know how to become part of it, especially without getting bullied. 

Sam Monroe ~  loves making mixtapes with songs he likes to pair together, even if they sounds the same 

Sam monroe playlist done by me ⇦ ⇦ ⇦

❥ ~ Anakin Skywalker ~ 

Anakin Skywalker ~ obviously doesn’t have any cannon music taste so the following playlist is all what I PERSONALLY think Anakin would like to listen to or are him “coded”. This one was the hardest for me to do and is honestly probably the most inaccurate. 

Anakin Skywalker ~ is clearly pretty when he cries, and very lana del rey coded

Anakin Skywalker ~ would have a very open music taste, he listens to what people show him

Anakin Skywalker ~ likes classic rock and acoustic music from obi wan, sad girl music from ahsoka (oh you know she showed him mitski), and softer popy music from padme. 

Anakin Skywalker ~ never knows the names of artists, always has to hum songs for people to know what he's talking about. 

Anakin Skywalker ~ always asks Ahsoka to play her music when flying, but he'll always deny that he does. 

“Why don't you pick your own music for once!” Ahsoka groans in annoyance, rubbing her face in her hands. “Cause i'm flying! "Anakin yells back in protest. “Just admit you like my music.” Ahsoka smirks, plugging her comlink into the ship and getting her playlist on. Anakin stays silent. Pretending not to hear her and stares off at the stars in front of him as he flys. 

Anakin Skywalker playlist by me ⇦ ⇦ ⇦

❥ ~Stephen Glass ~

Stephen Glass ~ has a very diverse taste in all sorts of funky music

Stephen Glass ~ who lives for folk music but also is obsessed with pop music 

Stephen Glass ~ can’t not have Lady gaga on his playlists and knows all her songs. He yells at people who don't know summer boy because that's his favorite. 

Stephen Glass ~ who grew up on bob dylan and the beatles

Stephen Glass ~ was always a Brittany defender and refused to do journalism about her. He would never lie about the queen herself. 

“Did you guys see that britney spears-” his co workers gossip. “I need to be excused.” Stephen immediately stands up and walks anywhere from the conversation. He doesn’t want to hear what they say, and no one wants to know what he would respond with. 

Stephen Glass ~ loves to relax to calming 70s music. 

Stephen Glass ~ is a huge music nerd, but isn't even aware of it. 

“This is Joni Mitchel, she's super cool. She's canadian. I just found that out. I’ve been listening to her for years but I just found out. Crazy huh?” Stephen rambles. You chuckle in amazement on how much he knows and how fast his lips move. “Jeez you sure know a lot about music.” Stephen shakes his head and smiles. “Oh no, not really. I couldn't even play anything if I tried. But anyway did you know-” 

Stephen Glass playlist made by me ⇦ ⇦ ⇦

A/N///: OMGGG im very happy to fianlly have stuff posted again. i have been so out of it lately. this is my first time ever writing headcanons so go easy on me. i have had this sam monroe playlist made for a while now and it gave me the idea to make a lil post about it. i hope yall enjoy and maybe even have a listen. happy thanksgiving and stay hot. - beee!

[itshelfiredean]

Being Dean Winchester’s Daughter Would Include

1.) Dean teaching you how to drive in the impala, but he’s scared that either of his babies would get hurt so he would make up any excuse for you never to get behind a wheel. This of course ended with Dean catching you and Sam in a driving lesson and you both got yelled at for hours.

2.) Ever since you were in pigtails, Dean would always call you nicknames like “Kiddo”, “Rugrat”, or “Princess”. Your Uncle Sam would keep it rather traditional with “Sweetheart”,“Honey”, or your least favorite “Lil’ Dean”.

3.) Your dad and uncle would make lasting friendships through the years, but would hide them from you because they know that if you get attached, then it’ll break your little heart if they died.

4.) Dean taught you his music taste and basically forbid you to obsess over Bieber or Katy Perry, but you didn’t necessarily ‘love’ his hard rock music taste. You tended to favor Sam’s favorites such as The Beatles, Wings, and the Traveling Wilburys, but Dean got you hooked on Queen, Creedence Clearwater Revival, and David Bowie.

5.) If either your dad or uncle were killed on a hunt or by whoever, they made a deal to take you in no matter what the circumstances were because they would never abandon you like John would.

6.) If you were ever hurt or sick, Dean and Sam would put on this whole show of Dr. Dad and Nurse Sammy. They would dress up in scrubs and check you over all while keeping a playful charade. Your final treatment would always be 20 extra cc’s of tickles and of course rest. Unlucky for you, this carried on well into your teenage years even if they had to drag you down to the infirmary to do so.

7.) You always understood that family doesn’t end in blood. When you were a little girl that reached up to just below their knees, you had the best family you could remember. Uncle Cas was always around and would let you put makeup on him and style his hair, but little did you know that you taught Castiel how to open his heart to people especially to a little girl. That came in handy when he sacrificed himself for the sake of you and Jack against the empty. Then of course you had Grandpa Bobby, or “GrandBob”. Bobby would come off as a nasty old grump to everyone else, but to you he would do anything you said. He practically raised Sam and Dean, but you were different than they were at your age. Bobby saw you as Dean’s precious baby girl who deserved the sun, moon, and stars. And damn-it, he would lasso the biggest star in the sky if you asked him to. You grew up with many amazing men who would do anything to keep you happy, but no one compared to Jack. You were 16 when Jack was born and unlike your dad and uncle in the beginning, you did everything in your power to protect him from your family. You actually helped Jack run away when he was first new, but you knew damn well and Dean dragged your ass back to the bunker once him and Sam tracked you both down. After Dean finally cam around to your side and chose to accept Jack as a member of the family, it made it easier for you to get closer with the devils son. You both were never romantically involved, but your were destined to the two half’s of a whole. He was your Westley and you were his Buttercup. However, Dean wasn’t too happy with seeing you and Jack getting all buddy-buddy, but Sam convinced him that this was really the first friendship you ever had. All through your life, you realized that you had a huge family that loved you, and you loved them in return always.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Y/N age 6

“Daddy, would you still love me if I was bad and mean like Lucifer was to you and Uncle Sammy?”

“Kiddo, I would still love you if you told me that you completely wrecked the Impala”

“That must mean a lot because Sammy told me that you love ‘Baby’ more than anything.”

“You’re my real baby. I will always chose you over a stupid car. But don’t tell Sammy that because it always makes him mad.”

“I love you too, Daddy. I love you more than all of the stars in the sky.”

“I love you more, Princess. With all my heart and each and every grain of sand”

[brighttears]

Stranger Chapter 3

Joel Miller x f!reader

No physical description

Summary: After seeing you, Joel becomes overwhelmed, and breaks down as he reflects on how things used to be. You can’t help but hear it, and come to check on him, and after seeing his state, you can’t help but stay. Some of that softness returns, but it’s short lived. 

Word count: 4.9k

Warnings: Joel has a breakdown (crying), brief talk of violence and self harm, Joel really hates himself, you comfort him.

A/n: the drama!!!

series masterlist

—

Joel’s stops breathing for a moment, chills running through his body as the sound of your singing registers, eyes still peeking around through the curtains, before they finally find you, sitting on your front porch, all bundled up, smoking a cigarette. 

A wave of emotion surges through him—relief, joy, grief, dread, sorrow. He leans against the window frame, watching you, listening to you. It’s one of the few songs you always used to sing, an old Beatles song. He was never really a fan of them, but this one—well, he used to like it. Back when things were good between you and him. Nostalgia doesn’t feel the same as it once did. Now it just hurts. 

Clouds of smoke bloom in the night air between verses, your head leaned back against your wicker chair. You look peaceful. Calm. Not like you did in his presence. Another pang heavies his chest, but he can’t bring himself to move, to keep from watching, keep from listening. 

He wonders why you’re up, why you aren’t asleep, warm in bed. He wonders if you do this often, smoke and sing in the dead of night. When did you start smoking, anyway? 

The image is strangely fascinating, the layers you’re bundled up in, snuggled between the arms of the chair, the way your lips move when you blow out the smoke, the way your lashes almost touch your cheeks, looking like you’re lost in your own little world. Suddenly, he feels like a creep, like this is a private moment that he absolutely should not be watching. No way would you be happy if you knew he was. But he can’t help it. He hasn’t heard you sing in six years, and despite the discord of emotions it swirls in his chest, there’s still a strong feeling of comfort that it naturally elicits. 

Joel leans further against the window, pulling the curtain back more, taking it in. But, within moments, he regrets it, when you stop singing mid chorus, head raising from the back of the chair, and he can practically see the feeling of being watched come over you. 

“Shit.” He whispers, but something still keeps him locked in place. His eyes are stuck on you, hoping it’s not him that you noticed, that there’s some other sound or movement in the night that your eyes are scanning for, but while he glances down at the filled ashtray that you stamp your cigarette out into, you have somehow found him, and when his eyes flick back up to your face, his heart skips, caught red handed, but still, he’s frozen, your eyes locked. The moment doesn't last long before you’re bolting up and striding to your door, and he can hear it slam shut from behind the glass pane. 

Staring at the profile of your door, he feels pulled to go apologize, to brave the cold and snow in his socks and knock on your door and hope that you’ll answer, but he knows that even if you do, you won’t even let him get the I’m out before you slam the door back in his face or start cussing him out for being such a creep. Joel sighs, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against the cold glass, almost wishing he’d just stayed in bed, shut his eyes and stayed there till morning, even if sleep didn’t come, because he’s sure this did nothing to strengthen your relationship. He can almost imagine you, seething in your house, cursing at him from next-door, and it makes his heart sink. 

He feels ashamed, foolish. He shouldn’t have been watching you, he knew you’d be upset if you knew he was. He should’ve known you’d be that fucking on edge, to be able to feel eyes on you, but damn did you find him quick. There’s almost a flicker of pride in his chest, impressed by the skill in it, but it’s quickly stamped out by all the other emotions cascading over it. Embarrassment, guilt, and more sorrow, about how things aren't what they used to be, that you’re not his songbird anymore. 

He missed your singing so much—how many empty nights has he shut his eyes tight, focusing on the memory of it? Tried to lull himself back to sleep with it? Too many to count. He was starting to fear forgetting it, not the words, but the sound of your voice, the way it would lilt, the way it would carry. But he’s found no relief in it now, just, hurt, an aching pain in his chest. Just that idea of missing you, when you’re right there, right where he is, just a few walls away—he suddenly chokes on a rough breath, clutching his chest because it hurts.

He misses those nights, in a pile-of-sticks abandoned house, or holed up in some seventh or tenth or fifteen floor, when you would both be laying there in the dark but no sleep would come, and your quiet voice would come out and sing a song, fill the dead air, even if it didn’t lull him to sleep, just to have some pause, a few minutes of gentle peace. He misses those moments when he’d flick a crumbled up scrap of paper at your face and you’d snort and chuckle and throw it back at him and you’d burst into giggles. He misses the ass-crack-of-dawn mornings, sitting in the back of that old truck deep in a field, drinking the worst fucking cups of coffee, watching the sun rise. He misses when you would grab his hand and squeeze it, even though that meant you weren’t sure if you’d make it out. He misses the stupid bickering. He misses your tears, because at least that meant that he was there. That you trusted him. That you were letting him in. 

With the cold glass biting his forehead, he remembers the way you’d shove the bottle of liquor you were sharing over a campfire at him, all the weird shit you’d say when you were drunk and the feeling in his stomach by the time he fell asleep because of how hard you’d made him laugh. He remembers the look you’d get on your face when he’d said something that crossed a line, just a little bit, the half smile, half glare and the way you’d hit him upside the head and the way the laughter would bubble up from his chest. He remembers how a shitty, one-lined joke could have you doubled over. He remembers the silences you’d share, the comfortable ones, during those early, early mornings, or in the car, or sitting at a table, and he could glance over at you, drinking your coffee, gazing out the window, fiddling with a knife, or just, sitting there, and just know that you were there with him. Just know that there was someone in his corner for once. 

But they’re just memories. Those times are long gone. You’ll never look at him with anything other than anger or indifference ever again. And suddenly, it’s overwhelming, and he can’t breathe, can’t move or talk or do anything other than stand there, staring at your empty porch, your closed door, and the air burns his lungs and he’s choking and he doesn’t want to be here, he wants to run away, run until every memory is just a puff of smoke, a fading scent, nothing, nothing, nothing, but his chest is so full, and he’s bloated to the point of overflowing with all of these memories. 

He misses you, wants you, he needs you, but you won’t have him, you can’t even stand to have him look at you.

At the same time that his lungs decide to finally let him pull in another breath, there's a wetness in the corners of his eyes, and suddenly, he’s crying. 

He shifts away from the window, leaning against the wall, chest nearly heaving as the memories keep flooding in, of when you’d have his back, your little nods, or just that look in your eye, and that feeling he’d get, completely prepared to lay his life on the line for you, and knowing you would do the same. 

He remembers the cold nights, the really cold nights, when you’d end up huddled up against each other, sharing the same sleeping bag or just a blanket or just in the clothes on your backs, how he’d hold you and feel your breaths with his arm wrapped tight around you, the way his knees would curl behind yours, the feeling of your hair tickling his face. 

He remembers the soft, strange ache in his chest, watching the back of your head instead of the sunset, or shifting into a more comfortable position on an ancient couch. Remembers the tug in his chest to reach out and drag his hand through the tangles, pull you into his side and just lay there for a while. 

And he feels an ache, for those times again, for just a moment more of the warmth of your presence, a moment more of seeing your face without it looking like you want to fucking strangle him. 

With a ragged breath, Joel squeezes his eyes shut, feeling hot tears roll down his cheeks, letting out a swear in a broken, choked whisper. 

He wants to waltz out the door and right up to yours, knock and wait and watch the look on your face fade from annoyance to recognition, for you to smile and let him in. And he’d sit down, and watch you, and make some stupid, shitty joke, watch that smile crack your lips, and he’d feel the laughter bubble up, just like old times.

As the tears join and drip from his chin, he wonders if you feel it too, if you feel like your heart is in your goddamn stomach, if you wonder where all the time went. He wonders if you feel that pang, that emptiness, as if a part of you is missing. If you feel that same urge to just, do something, anything, say hi, fuck, I miss you, break through this wall is between you, and just, fix things. Just try. Try to get it all back. 

He wonders if there’s even any chance, to fix something that’s been battered and bruised for so long that one wonders if it even happened at all. 

He wants to tear his hair out, wants to smash something, hurt something, hurt himself, for being the reason he can’t just go knock on your door and be let in and just sit with you, drink with you, trade idiotic jokes with you, ramble about nothing with you, fall asleep with you. For being the reason that it’s all been obliterated. For wounding you, being the reason you ripped someone’s vein out of their fucking neck, that you’re so fucking guarded, that you’re so fucking alone. 

He feels a desperate, overwhelming urge to scream. Scream it all out, maybe shove his fingers down his throat until every drop of this sorrow and guilt and heartache is out of his system, so he can buck up and face it like a man and be patient and kind instead of getting so goddamn worked up that he ends up being mean to you. 

And fuck, he wants to drink. Drink and drink until it all goes black and he doesn’t even remember what made him want to drink in the first place. 

But all he can do is cry, and suck in rapid, heaved breaths, and suffocate with the salt hitting his tongue because the tears just won’t stop coming. He clamps his hand over his mouth, clenching his jaw as tight as he can, willing himself not to make a sound, but it gathers up in his throat and he whimpers as he weeps. When he tries biting his palm instead, a guttural sound leaves his mouth, and suddenly he’s doubled over as if he’s just been kicked in the gut, and god it feels like he has been. He barely even registers that his legs have given out, that he’s on the floor, rocking back and forth, because all he can see, think, feel, is the loss, those memories and that they’re nothing but that, just whispers of times long dead, and the burning in his lungs from the lack of air. You’re gone, and you hate him, and you’re scarred, and it’s his fault, he failed you, he failed, he failed, he failed, he failed, he failed. Again, and again, and again, and again, he fails, all the people he always swore he never would, he always crosses that line he swears he never will, crosses it without even knowing it, he fails, and he does it again and again and again and again and again, because it's what he does, it’s what he is. A worthless fuck up. Worthless. Fuck. Up. 

Lost in his own hell, Joel doesn’t realize just how loud he's crying, doesn’t recognize that his breaths are choked, wracking sighs and strangled moans, has no awareness that someone has heard him, until there's a rapid rapping of knuckles on his front door. 

Instantly, he stills, a freezing bolt of fear slicing through his thoughts. 

“Joel?” Comes your panicked voice, and his heart stops for a moment before it starts back up thundering in his ears. He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, urging himself to get himself together calm down enough to respond in some way, to tell you that he’s fine, or that he’s falling apart and wants nothing more than to have you with him for just a few moments so that he won’t feel like there’s a black hole in his chest.

You knock again, knuckles brisk, tone urgent and concerned, and he sucks in a trembling breath. “Joel, open the fucking door.” He knows from that tone that you’re currently inclined to kick it open, but he’s still trying to halt the tears streaming down his cheeks and breathe in a way that has any semblance of evenness. 

“Just a second.” He finally chokes out, struggling to his feet, boots scuffing as he moves unsteadily towards the door, knees feeling like they’re going to buckle as his hand turns the bolt while the other wipes desperately at his face before he pulls the door open. 

Your brow is pinched, your eyes instantly flicking over him from head to toe, and it takes all his willpower not to burst into tears right then, seeing you look at him with such worry.

“Jesus Christ, Joel,” you scold in a whisper, suddenly clamping your hand on the edge of the door to force it open a few more inches, looking him over again. “It sounded like you choking on your own blood or something—I swear I thought you’d slit your throat and were fucking dying over here.” Instantly, a deep shame slots into his gut, and he sucks in a shaky breath, willing himself once again to not burst into tears. “Joel,” you say, voice quieter, face suddenly full of urgent worry and confusion, “what? What happened?” 

He doesn't say anything for a moment, just trying to gain some pretense of control over himself. Finally, he manages to rasp you, voice tight and hoarse, “I don’t… I don’t know I don’t…”

“Fucking hell. You can’t even breathe.” You observe, face still twisted in both concern genuine puzzlement. 

For a brief moment, he almost wants to laugh, because he must look so god damn pathetic right now, crying like a child, barely able to get a fucking word out. He suddenly feels like he’s going to be sick, just at the shame, at having you see him being such a fucking mess. 

“You look like you’re going to throw up.” You state, another unwelcomed observation, and he wants to shut the door on you, lock it and hide in a corner and just sink into the floor, but then you’re pushing your way in, hands on his shoulders to guide him back towards the couch. “Sit down.” You tell him, striding into the kitchen as soon as his butt hits the cushion, and he can barely register the sound of running water before you’re back in front of him, shoving a glass of water in his face. “Drink this.”

Helplessly, he does what he’s told, taking a long, uneven sip, while you watch him like you’re waiting to see it spurting back out of whatever hold must’ve been shot through him. You really did think he was dying in here, didn’t you? Thought he’d tried to, what, kill himself? Is that really how fragile he appears? Setting the glass down on the coffee table, he leans his arms on his knees, clenching his jaw and staring at the floor. “I’m fine.” He forces, cursing himself for not being able to keep an even tone. 

“Oh, don’t give me that.” You murmur back, almost in the same ‘bullshit’ tone you used to use when you’d bicker. “What’s wrong? What happened?” It almost makes another whimper escape him, and he gets the urge to wrap his arms around you and have him hold him, like you did all those years ago. 

“Nothing, I don’t…” he chokes out again, voice shaky. “I don’t know…”

“Okay. Well, breathe, and then have some more water.” Your tone is almost authoritative now, but still laced with worry and some lasting confusion, like you can’t grasp what has him in this state, have no idea that it’s because of you.

He takes a couple deep, shuddering attempts at breaths, before grasping the glass for another gulp of water. 

“Jesus, Joel, you’re shaking.” You call him out again, “Have you eaten since you’ve gotten here?” 

He hadn’t even realized he was shaking, but when he sets the glass back down, he sees the tremble in his hand, and folds them together, trying to hide it, though he knows it's pointless. With his eyes locked on the floor, Joel shakes his head, swallowing thickly before answering hoarsely, “No.” 

He hears you sigh and then feels you get up from the couch, muttering, “You’re fucking starving. Hold on.” He looks up to see you glance back at him, holding a hand out at him as you stride towards the door, “I’ll be right back, just, stay here, breathe, and try not to have a fucking heart attack.”

And just like that, you’re gone, and he’s left in the silence again. He wants to call after you, get up and run to the door, throw it open and beg for you to not leave him alone, but he grits his teeth instead, pressing his hands into his face, rubbing at his forehead. 

“Get a fucking hold of yourself.” He hisses, puffing out a breath. 

Then, the door swings open, and you’re back again, swiftly shutting it behind you and holding something wrapped in wax paper out to him. “Here.” You say, sitting back down next to him and unwrapping it to reveal a granola bar. “Eat this.”

He slowly reaches out to take it, feeling like a sick little kid being taken care of after being called in sick from school. Mostly, he’s embarrassed, but he’s also so incapacitated at the moment that it’s exactly what he wants to lean into, to be taken care of, by you. He takes a bite, trying to focus on chewing and breathing instead of you beside him, watching his every move, and the silence hanging in the air as he makes his way through the granola bar. But, for some reason, it becomes almost soothing after a few moments, maybe just because he’s cried himself into some sort of delusion state. 

Finally, after swallowing the last bite, he clears his throat, voice still a bit hoarse. “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay.” You say before he can finish, your hand landing gently on his arm for a moment before you pull it away, as if the movement was accidental, regrettably instinctual. “I’m just glad you’re not bleeding out. I swear, you scared the shit out of me.”

Joel bows his head, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean t’… scare you.” 

“No, it’s okay.” You reply, voice coming out almost gentle, and all it does is make him feel like he’s going to cry again, because he hasn’t heard that tone in years, and oh my god is it the only thing he’s craving right now. He lets out a rough breath, head still hanged, feeling his breath becoming unsteady again. “Hey, breathe.” You urge him quietly, and your hand is on his shoulder, gently rubbing it, and his breath trembles, a choked sound falling out of him. “Breathe,” you urge him again in that soft tone, scooting a little closer and leaning your head down, watching his face with your brow twisted in concern. He tries to breathe normally, to follow your gentle order, he really does, but it doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter how hard he tries, because you’re here, comforting him, and he’s suddenly overtaken by that crushing, strangling feeling again, chest locked as his shoulders shakes with desperately held in breaths, just trying not to let out another pathetic little noise as the tears start streaming again. 

Joel does not cry. Not when he’s shot, or stabbed, not when everything goes to shit, not even when someone dies. Joel does not cry. And that must be why you’re suddenly wrapping your arms around him, murmuring, “Fine, fine, okay. Cry. Just cry it out, Joel.” As soon as you start to pull him in, he’s filled with that desperation, to hide in your arms, cling to you and just fucking break down, sob like a child, because you’re here, and you’re telling him it’s okay, because despite everything, you came to him, to make sure he’s okay, and you’ve stayed, you’re still here, and you’re telling him it’s okay. His nervous system gives him no choice other than to sink right into that impulse, tears wetting your shirt as he grasps it in fistfulls, sounds buried into your chest, shoulders shaking under your arms. 

“Keep going.” You say quietly, chin coming to rest on top of his head. “Don’t stop now.” 

It’s the same thing you used to tell him, the two times he’d cried before, openly encouraging him, because you’d seen how many times he’d held back before, and it’s the same thing he used to do for you. Coax it out of you in a protective embrace, because he’ll always be there for you, whatever state you’re in, especially when you’re weak, and here he is now, being weak, breaking down completely, shaking like he might just shatter into pieces right there in your arms, an uncontrollable hose pumping hot, salty tears out of his eyes. “Don’t hold back on me now. Cry.” You whisper, and it’s then that the feeling of safety sets into him, and it only pushes his body harder, legs twitching with the force of his weeping. 

It's so familiar, and it makes his heart hurt more, his fingers curling to grip your shirt like you might just disappear if he doesn't hold on tight enough. “You’re safe,” you hit him again in that tender voice, “you’re safe.” 

Loud, gasping sounds pour out of Joel’s mouth, muffled in your shirt, and he’s nearly hyperventilating, lungs struggling to find a space to fit in a breath between the emotions crowding his throat. “Breathe, breathe.” You start to urge in a whisper, hand starting to slowly rub up and down his back. He tries, he really does, to kettle these uncontrollable emotions, shut the door against the hurricane, find something to hold onto, get some sort of fucking control over himself, but your soothing only makes him cry harder, his breathing nothing more than broken gasps. “Okay, okay, okay.” You surge quietly, “Just breathe with me, okay? Feel my breaths, and breathe with me.” He feels you start to take long, deep breaths, his head lifting and falling with your chest, and forces his focus onto it, just like he used to do when something would set him off and he’d feel like he was going insane, when his heart would stop and lungs seize, and you’d look him in the eyes and hold his hand over your chest, and breathe. 

The measured inhales and exhales are shaky, still somewhat broken, but the gasping begins to attenuate, the air stops burning, and his shoulders start to relax. 

You keep up the tempo, deep and slow and even, and eventually, he calms, and you slowly, and unfortunately, pull away. There’s no way he can meet your eyes, keeping his head lowered, knowing how absolutely pathetic he must look right now, face wet with tears and likely snot, eyes and nose red. The sigh he hears from you only makes him shut his eyes, a powerful wave of shame crashing over him, but then he feels your hand on his jaw, and he can’t help but open his eyes when you pull his face to look at you, and, shockingly, he sees no judgment staring back at him, no disgust, no anger, just, care, and for the first time, he recognizes you again. The kind Y/n he knows so well. 

He’s stunned into silence by it, swallowing thickly as he basically gawks. His eyes trail over your face, taking in all the little details; your brow, the edges of your lips, your eyes. He had thoroughly convinced himself that it was never to be seen again, but here it is, that fucking look on your face, the one that makes him think that you love him.

After a beat, you finally speak, voice quiet and tender. “What…what got you to that point?”

He swallows again, unable to get anything out other than a foolish, “I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.” 

He closes his eyes again, wishing there was any way to avoid this. But there isn’t. He refuses to brush you off, push you away. Not now. Not that you’re looking at him like this, not when you’re holding him like this. Not when he finally has you back. Even if this will just ruin it, he has enough of a head on his shoulders to choose not to react with some sort of flippant anger. So, finally, he swallows the lump in his throat and wills out the hoarse confession. “I miss you.”

He’s met with a deep sigh, your shoulders almost slumping, and it makes his heart sink right back down again. “I’m here.” You reply, almost flatly. 

“It’s not the same and you know it.” He whispers back, watching despairingly as that gentle look fades from your features. 

“Joel…” you say, looking down at your hands in your lap. He wants to reach out and take them, squeeze them, tell you again how much he misses you, beg you to forgive him, to find that soft spot for him in your heart again and just… just… stop sounding like there’s nothing to be done, like it’s over, like it’s gone, everything, forever. 

“...Don’t ‘Joel’ me like that.” He replies quietly. 

With an almost sharp sigh, you look at him again, a defensive lilt in your voice, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, okay? I am here. But it’s not just going to go back to the way it was. I’m still angry, and I have good reason to be, okay?”

“I know that.” He averts his gaze again, because fuck does it hurt to hear you state it so plainly. In the corner of his eye, he sees you shrug, and he hears the frustration growing in your voice, though he can’t miss the streak of sorrow in it. “I don’t know what else to say.” That little hint, it pokes another hole in his heart, because he was right, you are feeling something like he is, that loss, of the friendship you once had, that partnership, the grief of being together again but so far apart. And it’s his fault. 

“I don’t know either.” He croaks, voice not much more than a whisper. 

He just wants to grab you again, and never let go, but he just clenches his hands in his lap, refusing to look at you, not wanting to ruin the image in his head of that softened expression you had just a moment ago, wanting to hold onto the image of you loving him again. 

“Just…” you start tightly, “finish that glass of water, and go to bed. And eat tomorrow.” Suddenly, he feels your weight leave from beside him, and he jerks his head up to watch your back as you stride towards the door. “Stay alive.” You murmur abruptly on your way out.

As soon as the door closes behind you, Joel sucks in a deep, shaky sigh, almost wanting to start crying all over again, but he forces himself together, having enough self control not to call out to you, ask you to stay with him, just for the night. He knows he’s pushing his luck already, and has a feeling that that was a very special, lucky break of a moment. 

Joel sits there, staring at the half empty glass of water on the table, the moonlight casting a pale shadow over the wood of the coffee table, before he reaches out to take another long sip. 

[cosmiccardistry]

Pick An Emoji: What Is Coming Toward You In Love?

(Minors DNI + DNF!) Hello again everyone, it's Cosmic! I know this post is very off-schedule, but I'm wishing you a Happy belated Valentine's Day with this tarot reading anyway! Below, I have four emojis for you to choose from. When choosing a pile, look at the hearts before you. Truly take them in. After that, shut your eyes. Breathe in and out until you feel calm - almost empty. Once you are calm, allow the heart that corresponds to the pile you're meant to engage with to appear within your mind. 1)💝 2)💗 3)💖 4)💞 DISCLAIMER: I do tarot for fun and as a means of entertaining other people. This is not something that I intend for people to take one hundred percent seriously! Also, this is a collective tarot reading. I am not reading your specific energy alone, so not everything here will likely apply to you. Be discerning and use your own intuition! ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

💝 - "Let It Be"

Shufflemancy/Channeled Song(s) - You're Beautiful - James Blunt, Let It Be - The Beatles, Your Face - Wisp, Paper Bag - Fiona Apple, Get Gone - Fiona Apple, Yellow - Coldplay Keyword(s) - Beautiful, balloon, water-balloon, laughter, 2/222, 3/333, paper bag, plastic bag, get gone, tanktop, funny, sacral chakra, solar plexus, crown chakra, throat chakra, ocean, ocean breeze, banana, 'baba', pacifier, 'devil in the details', fluctuating Base - The Moon, Ten of Swords (Reversed), Seven of Cups (Reversed), Ace of Cups (Bottom of Deck #1), Nine of Cups (Bottom of Deck #2) Clarifying - The Chariot + Six of Pentacles (Reversed) - Ten of Cups (Reversed), Ace of Swords, Judgement - Four of Cups, Seven of Swords, Ace of Pentacles The first thing I noted while doing this pile was the Ten of Swords (Reversed) and the Ten of Cups (Reversed) clarifying each other. I feel you will gain an understanding of something in your love life that didn’t work out before. It’s necessary that you really focus on your healing, though. Your reading keeps returning to the healing they really want you to be doing. You may be prolonging your sadness and healing unnecessarily because you refuse to leave the past behind. This could be subconscious. You are existing within illusion and/or confusion, because of something that happened way back when. Maybe someone refused to reciprocate in an equal give and take with you? Whatever happened in the past, you find yourself unable to give and receive in the present because of it. I empathize with you. The universe wants to give you more opportunities! In love, or otherwise. However, you may overlook them. In fact, you may currently be overlooking opportunities for growth and excitement because you are suffering. Keep your eyes peeled! That being said, though, I don’t think overlooking opportunities is always necessarily negative. The universe is abundant - always willing to provide. If you need more time before receiving something from the universe, that is totally acceptable! What is meant for you will always be. Just remember that you need to fight. Shoot forward and manifest, so the universe can provide based on the powerful energy it receives from you! Even if you brush your teeth, and then sleep for the rest of the day afterward, you are manifesting. You are fighting. You are healing, and engaging in self-care. An effort - no matter how small or slow - is always important! Use your judgment and your intuition to get through this period of negativity and sadness. Take note of those who you might be taking more from than necessary - give back on occasion, if possible. Send love energetically to the people around you, even through all the confusion, illusion, and fear. For Advice Portion - King of Pentacles (Reversed), The Hermit (Reversed), The Lovers, The Hanged Man + Ten of Swords (Bottom of Deck #2) Clarifying - The Devil + Ace of Cups (Reversed) - Temperance (Reversed), Eight of Wands (Reversed), Five of Wands (Reversed) - Ace of Wands (Reversed), Queen of Pentacles (Reversed) Advice - Truly give into self-work via journaling and shadow-work prompts. Observe your negative patterns and write them down, if necessary. Be cautious when giving to energies/patterns/situations that have caused you to spiral into negative habits before. Stop fighting the healing work that you must do and focus less on romance, for now. You will absolutely find your romantic match. Your healing will take you directly to them. Learn to be happy single, for now, and have a fresh beginning with yourself and yourself alone! You will find true, genuine, healthy love in divine timing. You are not being forced into this time alone. See this experience of singularity as a blessing and know that you are already one with your ideal partner. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself as you love them. Also, stop reading and/or watching as much romance-related tarot? That could be a negative habit you currently have. ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

💗 - "Change"

Shufflemancy/Channeled Song(s) - Listen To Your Heart - Roxette, Heart To Heart - Mac Demarco, Blue Lips - Regina Spektor, Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake, Cry Me A River (Different Song, Same Name) - Julie London, Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer Keyword(s) - Kept trying to say 'green words' instead of 'keywords', heart chakra, from the heart, baseball, Modern Baseball, Halloween, veteran, veterinarian, throat chakra, poet, seeds, teacup, bag, angel, bagel, ocean, lips, mouth, kiss Base - Ace of Swords, The Star (Reversed), Five of Swords, Justice, The Lovers (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #1) Clarifying - Five of Swords (Reversed) & Four of Pentacles (Reversed), Nine of Cups (Reversed), The Moon, The Hermit, Temperance (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #2)

An end is coming toward you. The ending of a relationship. If this relationship doesn’t end entirely, then the perspective you have on the relationship will change. You are quickly gaining control over conflict in this situation, retaining a leadership position. In doing that, you are allowing yourself to find stability, happiness, and pleasure. A tower will fall and cause hopelessness, helplessness, and dissatisfaction to dissipate - allowing any future work on your part to actually create something stable. In the past, any work put into this relationship might have only resulted in suffering, pain, and confusion. You really know your situation better than I do, and I know I stated that the relationship doesn’t - necessarily - have to end, but many of you will cut somebody off in favor of keeping your effort and energy to yourself. If you haven’t done this already, that is. The Justice card is out here, later clarified by the Devil in reverse. This relationship could be karmic, or that's what I felt when seeing these two cards come out together. Saw the Emperor and the Empress (Reversed), too. It's like this relationship was almost a match. They were a person you saw everything in...- If only they had fallen upright, or... allowed themselves to. After ending this relationship, being alone as a means of allowing yourself to retrospect could be best. There is no need to rush or place unnecessary pressure on yourself. In doing so, you could trick yourself into believing that there will be no victory out of exhaustion, or you could simply delay progress altogether. Also, know that everyone will receive what they deserve and trust the Universe to dole out karma - positive and negative - wherever necessary. Whoever you might leave in the past will have trouble freeing themselves of their stuck manner. Finding themselves heartbroken, while they miss your stability and commitment-minded mentality. Do not remain stuck with them and take their karma for yourself. Holding onto this relationship - or the way that the relationship was - will not assist you in any way! Don't be afraid to look at this relationship differently as a means of healing! For Advice Portion - Two of Wands (Reversed), Ace of Pentacles, Five of Swords (Reversed), The Emperor & Ten of Cups, The Star (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #1) Clarifying - Ace of Wands, Five of Swords (Reversed) & The Emperor (Reversed), Ten of Pentacles, Justice (Reversed) Advice - This is a new beginning. Don’t allow a fear of change to deter you. Don’t be afraid to chase after your goals and passions - head toward what excites you most…! Be decisive at this time. And you can - absolutely - be decisive right now, even if you feel uncertain. You likely aren’t as confused as you think you are. You have been gifted with an opportunity to thrive peacefully without a conflict that has bothered you for a very long time. Allow yourself to be grateful. However, do not do anything in excess. Make sure that any passion you follow is healthy and doesn’t only serve you. Do not allow your suffering to turn you into someone selfish and controlling. You are the Emperor. No matter what. You don’t need force, manipulation, or control. You are a natural leader at heart. People will follow you simply as a result of you maintaining a healthy, balanced, exemplary disposition. You will find healthy love in due time, even after the conflict that you have suffered through- This love might be happening for you right now, even! A relationship healed after an internal conflict…- Just maintain emotional balance and all will work out for you. And, finally… do not - under any circumstances - allow your worries about justice and karma to stagnate you, or kick you out of emotional balance! Don’t worry about karma! Karma is not your problem, nor is it something you can control. Keep that in mind.  ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

💖 - "Shine Brightly"

Shufflemancy/Channeled Song(s) - You're The Greatest (Reprise) - Wander Over Yonder, Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield, Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles, Haven't You Noticed (I'm A Star) - Steven Universe Keyword(s) - Zipper, zoomies, phone, telephone, call me, heart, heart chakra, 2/222, 1111, plaid, earring, infection, star, cartoons, Piplup, Pokemon, trash, laundry day, yellow, solar plexus Base - Two of Wands, Four of Swords, The Hierophant, Ace of Swords, The High Priestess (Bottom of Deck #1) Clarifying - The Emperor, The Sun, Seven of Swords (Reversed), Five of Wands, King of Wands (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #2)

Before I start, I want to state that being in your energy made me happy...! You are a great person, Pile Three, and you're fun to be around! You're reading is a complete loop, starting with the Two of Wands and then ending with the Two of Wands. You have thoroughly planned your next steps regarding your romantic world, and now you are taking action. Maybe you are considering putting yourself back out there again? Either by getting on a dating website, trying new recreation, or starting a new project? Whatever you want to do, I feel that you have the knowledge necessary to achieve your goals and succeed - to meet someone new. To create new connections, even those that aren't - necessarily - romantic. If that isn't the case right now, it definitely could be soon, if that is what you yearn for. I believe that you are very in touch with the spiritual world, whether you know that about yourself or not. Follow your intuition - your internal compass - and things will go well for you. You have already taken the time to rest, recuperate, and place your focus inward. You have a deep understanding of what might have been causing illusion in your romantic world. You have also taken your energy and effort away from a situation that might have broken your heart, and/or the hearts of others...! If this is not what you've done, it seems that this is what you are planning on doing - quickly taking control of the reigns and heading away from heartbreak, pain, and disappointment to find a relationship that will bring stability, love, and hope into your world. If you feel that none of this applies to you - that you have not moved away from a negative situation, spent time alone, and gone inward - that is exactly what you need to do. A good pause in love might be exactly what you need right now. Rest and recovery after situations like these are important! Don't feel negatively if you cannot force any sort of passionate energy to build within you. You will meet a romantic match who is just as intuitive as you in due time. So, don't rush - plan, examine what you know, look toward the future rather than the past, and take care of yourself. If you haven't healed from this negative romantic situation already, you will; and if you are still in the process of cutting a cycle out of your life, you will be successful in doing that, too...! Also, I saw the Two of Cups multiple times, there is definitely hope, Pile Three!

For Advice Portion - Six of Cups, Page of Pentacles, The Sun, Three of Swords (Reversed), The Wheel of Fortune (Bottom of Deck #1) Clarifying - The Devil (Reversed), King of Cups, Three of Wands, Two of Cups Advice - If you're attempting to get into new hobbies, try and do stuff that you're inner child would want to do. Remind yourself of the dreams and wishes you had when you were a little kid, and bolt toward those. Doing so will end in a nice experience for you. Might even heal negative habits you currently have. There is no need to fear walking away from past negativity. It is recommended that you move away from old, negative tendencies and relationships - even those that stem from childhood. Maybe you work yourself too hard? Don't be scared of taking a proper break. Put your heart into your work. Don't be afraid to allow other people to see you, and your work - your efforts and goals. Ask for assistance from other people, if necessary. The future is bright, there is no more suffering in your future - as far as I can tell. Let the brightness of the Sun bring you into your bright, loving future. Point your love inward - show yourself self-love! Pamper yourself, even despite past conflict! Let the pain end. Allow cycles to finish. Don't fight the ending that will come with releasing this past pain. You deserve to live as happily as possible! Holding onto pain will not allow you to do that! ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

💞 - "Yes/No"

Shufflemancy/Channeled Song(s) - Excuses - Shakey Graves, Harness Your Hopes - Pavement, Don't Let's Start - They Might Be Giants, A Pearl - Mitski Keyword(s) - Accidents, whiplash, 'rushing or dragging?', drumming, orange, sacral chakra, red, root chakra, go, stop sign, pillow, pie, cake, 'what a bitter disappointment', sign, hello, goodbye, opposites Base - King of Swords (Reversed), Page of Cups, The Tower, Page of Swords (Reversed), The Hanged Man (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #1) Clarifying - The Devil (Reversed), The Magician + Two of Cups, Nine of Cups (Reversed), The Emperor (Reversed), Ace of Wands (Bottom of Deck #2)

You might have also wanted to pick Pile Three? Perhaps? Two cards from that pile kept showing themselves to me while I was shuffling, so...! If you cannot forgive someone for something, allow them to go find their happiness elsewhere. That's what I heard. You are detaching from something or someone. A romantic relationship. A negative thinking pattern. You could even be detached from whatever this is already. Single. You might be putting yourself out there, attempting to manifest a balanced, emotional relationship with another person. Do you have someone specific in mind? Do you even want a relationship...? You feel somewhat back and forth like you aren't even sure what you want romantically at the moment...- There is no rush! I want to talk about the tower we have here. Towers are not negative! We see them as negative because we're human, but they are a necessity. Some people will simply not learn without emotional pain. If you need to learn the hard way, then you need to learn the hard way. This tower that exists within your reading is not avoidable- I asked, 'Why..?' They gave me Four of Wands, Ten of Pentacles, and Six of Wands. If you want this healthy, amazing relationship you've dreamed about, you have to learn more lessons...! Specifically, you have to learn how to exhibit gratitude, patience, and balance. You also have to lessen your grip on control, and completely surrender to healing your emotional imbalances. Do not be afraid to look at this situation differently - from a less negative angle. It sucks, I know, but you can get through any healing that you need to!

For Advice Portion - Six of Wands, Ace of Wands, Eight of Cups (Reversed), Knight of Pentacles, The Hierophant (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #1) Clarifying - The Devil (Reversed), King of Pentacles (Reversed), Eight of Cups (Reversed), Seven of Swords (Reversed), Five of Cups (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #2) Advice - There is a victory to be had here with some work. In healing and defeating the truly detrimental negative tendencies you might have, you will gain a new beginning in romance where you are completely on top...! Again, there is just work that needs to be done and stuff that needs to be distanced from. Specifically, a relationship or circumstance that is holding you back. This situation is only causing more trauma for you. Move forward and away from whoever, or whatever this is...! If you have done so physically, then you must release any disappointment you might still be holding onto as that might still be connecting you to this energetically. If you are going to try out dating again (or just meeting new people in general), I would suggest using a new method that you haven't tried before. A new website, a new hobby - something that hasn't resulted in a negative experience already. Also, it doesn't matter how 'slowly' you are healing. It only matters that you are trying and moving at a steady, consistent pace...! Doing so will bring you directly to emotional fulfillment. ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

I wanted to say thank you very much for the kindness my first post was shown! I really appreciate it...! Any advice is always appreciated! I hope you enjoyed this post and that some stuff resonated for you! Until next time! :-)