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#on to college
inbabylontheywept · 2 months
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
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great-and-small · 4 months
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Turdus aficionados of Costa Rica please know I love your national bird but this is objectively hilarious
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catchymemes · 8 months
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sexygaywizard · 2 months
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new yuri image for desperate lesbians just dropped
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randalltier · 1 year
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Good morning Mr. Jigsaw I noticed that this trap has a time limit of 60 minutes but as per my accommodations through the school Center of Disability Resources I get time and a half on exams and quizzes is that still something I can apply to this game right now? Thank you for understanding have a nice day
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rhinco · 2 months
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tragedy that i haven't seen anyone post this clip from the latest make some noise
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monstrousliarstold · 3 months
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joytri · 10 months
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mapsontheweb · 3 months
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Prisons/Jails vs Colleges - More prisons or more colleges?
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dovesmelodyproject · 5 months
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Rapper Macklemore posts on Instagram a song in support of Palestine called “HIND’S HALL” that will be on streaming platforms soon and all proceeds will go to UNRWA
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drsonnet · 5 months
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Hind Rajab was a 5 year old girl in Gaza who was killed while she hid alone in a car, along with the paramedics who tried to rescue her. Yesterday students at Columbia seized the administration building and renamed it in her honor.
Gadzooks Bazooka Instagram: gadzooks_bazooka
Remembering #HindRajab & children in #Gaza: This is what the mother of the child, Hind Rajab . https://tmblr.co/ZTeZMyfB_GHeeu00
Update (July, 2024)
UPDATE FROM
@sunnydice: (and please don't forget Layan Hamadeh , her 15 yr old cousin who was trapped with her or Yusuf Zino and Ahmed Al-Madhoun who bravely volunteered to try to save hind and were murdered by the IOF )
DrSonnet — هذا ما قالته والدة الطفلة هند رجب عندما سمعت بخبر... (tumblr.com)
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soon-palestine · 5 months
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doom-dreaming · 5 months
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"when i was your age, i was working three jobs to help support my family" and "when i was in college i was sleeping on a mattress on the floor and living off of soup"
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO DO THAT. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO DO THAT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT THIS ISN'T A CHARACTER-BUILDING LESSON, IT'S JUST BAD
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animentality · 6 months
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permdaydreamer · 1 year
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This is for the people who didn’t party in their teens and twenties. For the people who didn’t have that “coming of age” movie experience with shenanigans and revelations. This is for the people who mostly keep to themselves. Who maybe prefer things to be quieter and gentler. This is for the people who don’t feel like they belong in a culture that values loud parties and flashing lights. I see you. And you are valid.
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adaines-furious-fan · 2 months
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We should use this image whenever we see poor reading comprehension on a post
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