#on the way and too many cars and everything was too loud. like 3 huge dogs too and apparently im sacred of them again lol my voice was

[starlightkyeom]

take my hands (we can fall together) | lee chan | pt 3

(where you and chan are friends, but he's your brother's best friend. and you've always been just a little out of reach. until one season changes everything.) pairing: brother's best friend!chan (dino) x f!reader genre: friends to ??, pining, slow burn | fluff, angst, smut rating: explicit warnings/notes: mentions of unhealthy relationships (reader x boyfriend), mentions of food, mentions of drinking/alcohol, friendsgiving, chan is having a crisis, explicit smut in this part, kissing, body appreciation, fingering (f. receiving), oral sex (f. receiving), face sitting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, protected sex (p in v), aftercare, chan is a tease, chan calls reader baby one time, i think that's it but let me know if it's not word count: ~9.2k (full fic is roughly 23.5k) notes on the characters: anyone used as a background character is meant to be an OC, i'm just lazy with coming up with names a/n: SHE'S DONE! i cannot believe that (not me sticking to a timeline). huge thanks to @svthub for hosting this fall collab. check out the full list of fics here. make sure you go back and read parts 1 & 2 for context. this is the last one 😭 (unless i return for a drabble/timestamp). also thank you to my bby indi for creating an amazing banner @classicscreations.

tagging: @christinewithluv @aaniag @dejavernon @tbzhub @bitchlessdino @seungkwansphd

part 2 | masterlist

Even though he feels a bit weird about it, Chan makes good on his promise to Carla and they reschedule. Instead of going out to a too-loud bar, Chan suggests a favorite restaurant of his. Some place with good food and a better atmosphere. The perfect place to try and get to know his date on a real level. Not only is she beautiful and genuinely interested in him, she’s kind, easy to talk to, and surprisingly funny. The perfect person to finally move onto a healthier, strictly friendly relationship with you.

Everything about the date goes even more smoothly than he expects. Despite how open she is while texting, Chan’s surprised to find how engaged she is in person. It’s like nothing and nobody else exists apart from the two of them. She talks openly about liking him, too, because she says she doesn’t see the point of dancing around things, playing some kind of game. Life is too short not to tell someone how she feels. There’s a warmth in hearing that, like something dormant being awoken. It’s not like his other feelings completely disappear, but it’s nice to have that kind of connection.

At the end of the date, they walk out together and Chan grabs her hand without thinking twice about it. She stops him just outside the restaurant to pull him towards her for a kiss. Maybe it doesn’t make him see stars or anything insane like in the movies, but it’s nice. Her lips are soft against his and seem to just kiss away any worries. It really has been the best date he’s been on in a long time. So much so that he considers coming up for a drink when Carla invites him. There’s just a little something in the back of his mind holding him back and so he politely declines. He reasons it away that he’s got Friendsgiving the next day. It’s been a great date, but he’s definitely not ready to bring Carla to meet his friends. It’s only been one actual date. Even if they have been texting a lot.

Chan is up a little early the next day because he needs to run to the store to get some drinks before making his way to Seokmin’s house. That’s been their go-to place for bigger gatherings like this since he bought it because it’s got the most space. Last he heard, there were fifteen people coming for Friendsgiving. He’s also got to pick up Jay and Vernon on the way there so there aren’t too many cars. Jay should’ve been helping him pick up drinks. But, no. He crashed at Vernon’s. Which isn’t entirely surprising since Vernon’s new game is at the beta-testing stage and Jay’s always been the number one tester. It’s more than mildly concerning to see his two friends smirking when they get in the car, though.

“What?” Chan prompts.

“How was your date last night?” Vernon asks.

“Yeah, are we going to have to set an extra place at the table?” Jay adds on. 

“What are you talking about?” Chan questions.

“You went on a date last night, right?” Jay presses. 

“You know I did,” Chan confirms. “We live together.”

“And you took her to that restaurant we love,” Jay carries on.

“Yeah,” Chan says slowly, drawing the word out.

“Oh, cut him some slack. I guess you were so caught up in the date that you entirely missed that some of our friends were there too,” Vernon says and laughs at Chan’s face. “Yeah Jiyeon texted me laughing about how she tried to get your attention and you didn’t even notice.”

“Oh shit, I’ll have to apologize to her,” Chan says. 

“She was with Mina, Lisa, and my sister too,” Jay adds on. 

“They were all there?” Chan worries. 

“Yeah, I think it was my sister’s idea. A little bit of a girl’s night for whoever was free,” Jay says. “Rude of them not to invite us. But clearly you were busy.”

“So are we going to be seeing her today?” Vernon asks. 

“It was one date,” Chan deflects.

“One date that you kissed and then left with,” Jay adds on. Chan whips his head over to look at his best friend.

“Sorry, Ji had a lot to say about it. You know how she is,” Vernon shrugs. “And Jay wasn’t sharing the game so I had a lot of time to text her.”

“Great,” Chan says. 

“Hey, that’s a compliment! I stayed up playing a game and crashed on a couch, for you,” Jay complains.

The two of them carry on bickering while Chan’s head is a million miles away. Not exactly what he’s prepared for or expecting walking into Seokmin’s house. At least he knows ahead of time. For all the times Jay’s a pain in the ass, which is basically any time he’s breathing, he’s a loyal friend. He might be ribbing Chan for being so oblivious now, but he’s also giving him time to prepare before he walks in because Jiyeon is going to give it way worse. So, Chan takes the rest of the drive to figure out how he’s going to say. 

It’s hard, though, because entirely too much of his brain focuses on the fact that you were there, too. Something Jay kind of glosses over, probably trying to take the focus off. He’s never called Chan on it, but he’s known how his friend feels for a long time. You were there and you saw his whole date. Saw the way he was caught up. Saw the way he left with Carla. Saw the kiss. Saw everything. Because you were with Jiyeon and she would have been doing a live commentary. That’s just who she is. Not in a malicious way, she just hates being ignored. It’s stupid to be caught up on what you thought. He’s moving on. That’s what the date with Carla was supposed to do and he knows he can’t just live in this perpetual state of caring about you. Not when you’re in the middle of putting your heart back together. Not when you haven’t shown any interest. Not when you straight up said Chan was just a friend. 

He’s barely through the door before Jiyeon is harassing him. “So, what, you go on a date with someone you barely know and you just forget we’ve been friends for literal years?”

“Easy, Ji, I didn’t see you,” Chan repeats. 

“Well obviously,” she retorts.

“Did you call my name? Or send me a text to be like hey, over here?” Chan fires back. Fighting fire with fire is the only thing she responds to.

“No, you were too wrapped up in your little date,” Jiyeon answers like it’s obvious.

“Maybe you didn’t really want to get my attention. Maybe you just wanted to bitch today. Maybe you woke up and chose violence,” Chan says, earning an immediate eye roll. 

“Did you just call me a bitch?” Jiyeon asks with faux outrage.

“I said you wanted to bitch, I’d never call you a bitch,” he answers anyway.

“Well, where is she then?” Jiyeon asks as she makes a show of looking behind Chan.

“Carla? She’s not here. Obviously,” Chan says.

“Oooooh do you like her enough to use her name? Not just the girl you’re dating?” Jiyeon teases. 

“I hate you,” Chan utters without any bite.

“I know,” she sing-songs.

Almost involuntarily, Chan’s eyes find their way to you, looking for some kind of reaction to the whole scene. But, you’re sitting with Seokmin, like you aren’t paying attention at all. Like maybe you don’t even care. Which is good, right? Chan wanted you to leave Seungsik so that you could be happy and heal, not so that he could have a chance. Which is exactly what happened. It should be a good thing, seeing you happy. It’s just that he can’t help but feel like you don’t seem as happy as you did the day after leaving Seungsik at his aunt’s house. 

It starts as Chan thinking he’s overreacting. Throughout dinner, it becomes crystal clear that something is off. You stick close to Seokmin and Lisa, don’t even really mingle with people in the same way you do any other time everyone is together. Even with the friends you don’t get to see as often. There’s something a little dull about you, like the dimmer switch isn’t all the way on. And Chan never sees you without a drink in your hand, which is a little odd, too. Almost everyone drinks too much at Friendsgiving and then naps or sobers up before leaving. Drinking is normal. This isn’t that, though. 

The thing that hurts Chan the most is that you hardly speak to him at all. Several times, he tries to start a conversation, only to have you give short answers before excusing yourself to do something else. Or talk to someone else. Or be anywhere that Chan isn’t. That hurts on a much deeper level than any feelings he has or had for you. Over the past two months, it’s felt like you were coming to depend on him more as a genuine friend. Someone that you could turn to or be vulnerable around. More than just another person in a decent sized friend group or your younger brother’s best friend. There were even times when he wondered if he was in your inner circle. Things definitely shifted. But, whatever it was seems to have been short lived. The two of you are further apart than where you started. 

It’s not until Chan is back home at his apartment, leftovers from the meal tucked away in his fridge, and getting ready for bed that he gets answers. He’s not tired and he doesn’t want to go to sleep. All he wants is to get comfortable and watch something mindless. Jay seems to sense that something’s off and doesn’t even give him a hard time. Just lets him go off into his room and shut the door. His phone dinging catches his attention, though. 

You: today ws wierd and i hted it You: i mis m y channie 

The text catches him off guard for a lot of reasons. The first is that you’re clearly a little drunk, or maybe a little buzzed. You’re not usually such a sloppy texter. But, the much bigger reason is that you called him your Channie. You’ve called him Channie but never yours before. 

Chan: are you drunk? Chan: are you okay? You: ‘m fine You: not drunk Chan: are you home? You: no stayed at seoks Chan: good i’m glad You: do you like me

Chan stares at that message for a good minute like the words will somehow change. Does he like you? Are you asking as a friend or something more? Can he really try to get over you when you’re texting him like this?

Chan: course i do, we’re friends You: that’s not what i mean

Of all the ways the night could have gone, this was not one Chan considered. Things were definitely weird during Friendsgiving. He’s not sure how many people noticed. Jay definitely had, if him giving Chan space when they got home is any indicator. Seokmin probably noticed too, since you’re currently staying there. Before he can answer your text, his phone is going off with an incoming FaceTime. He answers without thinking.

“You answered,” you say like it’s some kind of surprise.

“Of course I did,” Chan breathes out. “What’s wrong?” 

“Do you like me, Chan?” you repeat. It’s so different watching you say it than seeing it typed. He’s trying not to focus on you sitting in bed just like he is. 

“I told you…” Chan starts and you’re shaking your head. 

“I know we’re friends, but do friends do everything you’ve done for me? Do friends go on train rides and apple picking and photoshoots and to pumpkin patches? Do friends spend an entire party not even bothering to talk to anyone else? Do friends support each other the way you’ve supported me?” You’re rambling, Definitely a little drunker than you want to admit, especially with some of your words slurring together.

“I don’t know,” Chan admits. 

You turn back and look straight into the camera. “Why didn’t you even see me last night, Chan?” 

“Well, I guess I was just…” Chan starts.

“What? Distracted? So distracted by your date that you didn’t even see me?” you ask. His heart breaks for how hurt you look. That’s the last thing he wants. 

“I’d already kinda blown her off once, over you, kind of,” Chan admits. Too honest.

“Over me?” you ask. Your eyes are wide like it’s not what you were expecting.

“I was, well I was with her when I saw Seungsik,” Chan says. “I made an excuse and left, but said I’d see her again another time.”

“Oh,” is all you say.

“Yeah, so I didn’t really want to do that to her again. She doesn’t deserve that,” Chan says quietly. 

“What about what I deserve?” you wonder.

“You know I think you deserve the entire world,” Chan insists. 

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth like you’re at war with yourself over something. “Do you think you could love her?” 

Before Chan can answer, he hears a door open and watches you turn to the side. Somewhere in the room, he hears Seokmin.

“I thought we said no drunk texting or calling or anything?” Seokmin reminds you, sounding very sober. 

“I thought you meant Seungsik,” you shrug, unashamed. Seokmin comes into the frame and sees Chan.

“Oh, hey, Chan,” Seokmin says, smile not quite as bright as Chan is used to. It’s clear that Seokmin didn’t just mean your ex.

“Hey, Seok,” Chan answers.

“I’m gonna take this and put her to bed,” Seokmin says.

“Good idea,” Chan agrees. 

Seokmin turns the camera to you. “Say goodnight to Chan.”

“Night Channie,” you call out.

“Night,” Chan answers. 

“Goodnight, Chan,” Seokmin says.

“Wait,” Chan says and watches as Seokmin’s face turns to him. “Delete the last few texts in our thread. That’s probably a better conversation to have when we’re both sober.”

Seokmin’s face relaxes and he nods, like he understands more than Chan does at the moment. Maybe he does. The entire conversation is weird and it’s leaving Chan with way more questions than answers. Why are you so curious about his feelings now? Why do his feelings for Carla matter to you? Why are you drinking like that? Did something happen with Seungsik? Are you finally processing and this is part of the grief? Why does it hurt to feel like an outsider to it all again?

The next time Chan sees you, there’s no mention of the brief FaceTime call or the texts. Things with you are somewhere between the total comfort of the party at his aunt’s house and how you were before all the Fall activities. It’s this weird limbo that he doesn’t really know how to process. It seems like nobody else really knows how to process it, either, and unfortunately, some of them are picking up on it. 

Then, there’s the issue of Carla. She hasn’t done anything wrong, but Chan also isn’t sure how he feels. On one hand, he really does think it’s best to just move on from his feelings for you because it’s all just been too much. On the other hand, it feels dishonest to keep going out with Carla when his head isn’t totally in it. But, she really is kind and she seems to understand some of his hesitation and even suggests that they do something a little more lowkey, like lunch during the work day, and that seems fine, right? Everyone has to eat lunch.

Wrong. 

Well, not about the lunch part. She picks a place that’s close by where they work, since they don’t work far apart, and Chan appreciates the slightly longer lunch. It’s a welcome break in his day and the perfect way to end the week. Carla is sweet, doesn’t push him to talk about anything he’s not ready to, though she can obviously tell there’s something. There’s a subtlety to the way she lets him know that he can talk to her about anything, no matter how awkward. And a grace when he says that he’s just not ready. She keeps all the conversation light, easy. There’s even something about it that feels a little more friendly than like a date. It’s really just an incredibly pleasant lunch.

And then comes the text. The text from you. Why on Earth did you need to send Chan a text saying you heard he went on a lunch date with the same girl from the other day? Why did you need to say that you hoped he had a good time? Why did it matter if he was spending time with someone else? It’s just kind of confusing because you’re definitely friends, but not the kind of friends that text like this. Not when it’s the first text you’ve sent to Chan since the ones he asked Seokmin to delete for you. 

So he doesn’t answer, doesn’t really know what to say. Instead he tries to make plans with Vernon to go for drinks after work. But, Vernon has other plans and Chan settles on just asking Jay. Although Jay is truly his best friend, he’s not Chan’s first choice when it’s you on his mind. Chan’s feelings for you, whatever they are, aren’t a secret to Jay, even if they’ve never talked about them. If he’s going drinking now, though, it might be too hard to keep avoiding talking about whatever he’s thinking. 

It seems initially like Jay might let Chan get away with just wanting to drink. They talk about work, about the holidays coming up, about upcoming plans. Jay mentions the big family Thanksgiving, which they’ll both be at. Chan talks about how he already feels behind on holiday shopping. They both talk about how crazy it is that Vernon’s so close to finishing one of his games. It’s just normal roommate shit. Much like lunch with Carla, everything is light and unserious. At least through the first drink. Everything changes when the bartender sets the second drink down in front of them. 

“We’ve gotta talk about it, man,” Jay finally says. 

“Talk about what?” Chan feigns ignorance.

“Whatever your feelings for my sister are,” Jay presses on, unwilling to let his best friend continue to ignore a problem. 

“Is this where you tell me that she’s fresh out of a relationship and give me some sort of speech about protecting her?” Chan asks.

“No,” Jay says simply. “She’s an adult and I’d never tell her who to date as long as she’s happy. Besides, you’re friends with her too.” 

“I really don’t know if we’re friends right now, things are weird,” Chan admits.

“Yeah, I can tell,” Jay says with a bit of a snort. 

“I went out to lunch with Carla today and then I got a text from her saying she’d heard about my lunch and hoped it was good. What am I supposed to do with that?” Chan asks, louder than he meant to.

“I don’t know,” Jay admits. “I don’t think she knows, to be honest.” 

“What do you mean?” Chan asks.

“Well, I’ll admit that I told her that you went to lunch with Carla because she’s been really weird about you since she broke it off with Seungsik. Probably before that, honestly, but it’s definitely been weird since then. I know she went to your aunt’s house the day after you told her and she confronted that asshole,” Jay says.

“Yeah, my aunt was thrilled,” Chan remembers.

“So was my sister, she said it’s one of the best times she’s had in awhile,” Jay shares.

“What did she say to you when you told her I was out to lunch?” Chan wonders.

“She just said oh good for him,” Jay says, “which I assumed meant she didn’t want me to know what she was thinking so I wouldn’t have to lie to you. I figured she was going to text you, too. Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Chan brushes off. 

“Do you like her? Like actually like her?” Jay asks. 

“I don’t…I’m not sure, honestly,” Chan admits. 

“You were sure, though,” Jay presses. “I could see it in the way you looked at her. I remember thinking anyone would be lucky to have someone look at them that way.” 

“Yeah, I guess I wasn’t that subtle to anyone but her,” Chan jokes. 

“I think even she stopped being oblivious,” Jay laughs. “So what changed?” 

“I don’t know,” Chan shares. “I guess, I don’t know, it just felt like it’s been all this time and I was doing all these things with her when Seungsik didn’t want to. And I had this moment where I thought I could do things like that with her the rest of my life and be happy. But, then we were talking about him after I saw him out and she said something about how he always thought I liked her but she brushed it off. So I just kinda realized I needed to move on.” 

“Can you do that if she never knew for sure how you felt?” Jay asks. “Is it fair to either of you?”

“Is it fair to her when she’s only just gotten out of a relationship?” Chan challenges. 

“Like I said, Chan, she’s an adult. Just telling her that you have feelings for her isn’t the same as expecting her to jump right into something new,” Jay reasons. “If you love her, like I think you do, then she deserves to know that she isn’t crazy. Even if nothing happens. The only way to move forward is by being honest.”

“Love her…wait, why would she think she’s crazy?” Chan worries. 

“Because you’ve been weird too, bro. It isn’t just her,” Jay laughs. “She is going to absolutely kill me for this, but she remembers texting you and then FaceTiming you after Friendsgiving. She knows you asked Seokmin to delete the chat and dodged her question about how you felt. So, I think she thinks that she imagined you liking her.” 

“Shit,” Chan breathes out. “I was just trying to do what I thought was best.”

“I know that, but I’m not sure she does,” Jay shares. 

“Fuck it, I need shots,” Chan declares. 

He’s definitely not sober when he shows up at your apartment a few hours later. Despite Jay’s insistence that they eat something, he’s still very buzzed, bordering on the world having some blurry edges. Although Jay insisted this could wait until tomorrow, he’s still here at your doorstep. Doesn’t even look back at the Uber after he gets out. His fingers dance over the keypad to the building on autopilot because he’s been there enough times before. There’s no thought about if you’re home or what time it is. No thoughts about if you have company. All he can think is that he’s sick of this weird limbo. 

You answer the door with your hair piled on top of your head, oversized t-shirt hanging off your frame, and a look of complete surprise on your face. Whatever you see on Chan’s face makes you step aside and let him in without a word. It’s not until he feels the couch dip as you sit next to him that he really meets your eyes.

“What are you doing here, Chan?” you ask. 

“I’m sorry,” Chan whispers.

“For what?” you prompt.

“For so many things,” Chan answers. “For Seungsik, for not being a better friend, for not seeing you that night at the restaurant, for telling Seokmin to delete your texts, for not giving you a straight answer, for going on dates with someone. But mostly for falling for you when it’s the worst possible timing.”

“You’re drunk,” you say after a moment.

“A little, maybe, but that doesn’t make any of it less true,” Chan argues. 

“I want to hear all of this from you in the morning, when you’re sober,” you say. 

“Please, I don’t know if…” Chan starts.

“Come on, Channie, let’s get you to bed and we can talk in the morning,” you say. 

You stand and reach a hand to him. He’s not sure if it’s the thought behind the gesture or hearing you say Channie, but he takes your hand without questioning it. Before he knows it, he’s tucked into bed and his eyes are closing. It may be the most comfortable bed he’s ever slept in. 

The next morning, sun through the cracks in the blinds wakes Chan up and it takes him more than a moment to remember where he is. It’s only when he looks around and sees your familiar decorations everywhere that it dawns on him. Not only is he in your apartment, he’s in your bedroom. He slept in your bed last night. Somehow that realization has him feeling even worse than the slight hangover. Since life is really unfair, you walk in a minute later, looking far better than anyone should in the morning. You hand over a cup of coffee. Fighting his embarrassment, Chan sits up so he can accept it and take a sip. Of course it’s perfect. It feels like the reverse of the morning after the Halloween party.

“How are you feeling?” you ask.

“Terrible,” Chan admits ambiguously. 

“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for drinking so much. Jay said he wasn’t sure where you were putting it,” you chuckle out. You pick up your own coffee mug to take a sip.

“When did you talk to Jay?” Chan wonders.

“He was blowing up your phone and I don’t know your password so I figured he was worried about you. I texted him to say you were here and passed out and you’d text him today,” you answer. “He didn’t seem concerned once I said you were here.” 

“Yeah, well it’s not really the hangover that’s making me feel terrible,” Chan mumbles and you raise an eyebrow at him. 

“I hope I’m not making you feel terrible,” you throw out.

“No, I’m just embarrassed, really,” Chan says. 

“You don’t need to be,” you assure him, voice gentle. 

“I am so sorry for telling Seokmin to delete those messages, I thought it was the right thing to do,” Chan begins. 

“It’s fine. I’m not surprised my darling brother told you about that, though,” you say. 

“It’s not fine. I just, I don’t know, I didn’t really know what was going on and it felt a little overwhelming,” Chan says. 

“Yeah I can see that. To be fair, I’m not really sure what I was even trying to accomplish that night,” you say quietly.

“Can I try to say the things I wanted to say last night?” Chan asks. “Jay actually helped me realize some things.”

“He’s got his moments,” you laugh. “And yeah, I think I’d like to hear what you wanted to say, now that it’s morning and you’re sober.” 

“I could repeat what I said, but it really comes down to this. I like you. A lot, way more than I should and I know that it’s, like, the worst timing in the world because of Seungsik and the break up,” Chan rushes out. “I know it’s probably not fair to you to tell you now, but Jay also pointed out that I can’t really try to move on when I haven’t told you how I feel. I just, I got kinda freaked out to tell you when you said the thing about your ex thinking I liked you, but you brushing it off.” 

“Chan,” you try to interrupt.

“And, fuck, I was trying so hard to date someone and get my mind off you that I didn’t even think about it,” Chan carries on. “But the reality is that all the things we did all season long have been some of the best times of my life. I’m sorry, I know that I’m rambling.”

“Can I speak now?” you ask and Chan’s cheeks burn red. 

“Sorry,” Chan whispers.

“I like you, too,” you admit. “I’m not really sure when it happened. Maybe somewhere along the way of you just constantly being there.”

“Yeah, we’ve spent a lot of time together the last like two months,” Chan agrees. “Wait, did you say you like me, too?”

“I did and, like, we have definitely spent a lot of time together doing all the things I love to do, which maybe helped me realize, but I think it’s been there a lot longer. All this did was make me realize how you’ve been there for me for years and I didn’t see that it was more than just a friendly thing,” you say. “You probably don’t remember but back in college, that idiot broke my heart and you and Jay spent the whole weekend cheering me up. I get why Jay did it, he’s my brother, but you didn’t have to.”

“Of course I remember, that’s when I realized I had a crush on you,” Chan says softly. 

“Chan, that was like 6 years ago,” you say, nearly choking. 

“Pushing seven,” Chan admits.

“You’ve liked me all that time and I didn’t realize?” you wonder.

“Maybe not all that time, it’s not like I haven’t dated,” Chan points out. 

“Oh yes, because you’ve dated such winners,” you scoff. 

“Are you, were you jealous?” Chan teases. “You started acting weird when I went on the date with Carla and didn’t notice you or our friends.”

“I wasn’t acting weird,” you protest. 

“Yes you were, even Jay said so,” Chan counters.

“Oh whatever, you’ve liked me for seven years,” you tease with a roll of your eyes. 

“And you’ve probably liked me just as long but you’re stubborn,” Chan says.

He’s not sure where the confidence comes from now, but hearing that you like him too just makes it feel lighter. Even though there’s no telling what happens from here, it feels good to have it all out in the open. You’ve both abandoned your coffees at this point and are just sitting on the bed like it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

“I am not stubborn,” you protest. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I must be thinking of someone else,” Chan teases. 

“Must be,” you agree.

“Hey,” Chan says, more serious. “I don’t know what happens next and I know you just got out of a relationship, so there’s no pressure or…”

Chan can’t finish what he’s saying when you press your lips to his. It takes him several seconds to get over the shock, though. It doesn’t matter that you admitted to liking him, too. That’s still a big step to go from that to kissing. You’re pulling away when his brain finally connects and he kisses you back. Makes him pull you back into him so that he doesn’t miss another second of the way your lips feel against his. Makes him dig his fingers into your hips when he pulls you on top of him. You pull away to gasp and catch your breath. Let yourself get situated with a knee pressed into the mattress on either side of him. All you can do is just look at him, pupils a little blown and chest rising with each breath. Loosening his grip on you, he looks down and watches his hands slide over your thighs and back up to your hips. When he looks back at you, he finds you’re watching the movement. 

“You don’t have to be so careful, Chan, I’m not that fragile,” you utter.

“I know you’re not,” he confirms. “But, are you sure?”

“About this?” you ask and he nods. “The most sure I’ve been about anything in a long time.”

He’s about to ask you again but you just shake your head before leaning in to kiss him. You’re giving him confirmation and permission all at once. Confirmation that you want this and permission to not treat you so gently. It’s all he needs to start running his hands up across your hips and then under your shirt and up your back. Your hands move from the sides of his face to fling your arms around his neck when he presses you tighter against his body. Kissing you isn’t anything like he imagined. It’s not soft and tender. It’s a little desperate and needy, but still completely full of affection. As if testing what you said about not needing to be careful, he nips at your lower lip. The light moan shoots straight to his dick and his hands travel back down your back to your hips. Gripping you tight but also making you slightly rock against him. 

It’s not enough contact, though. Now that he’s got you like this, he just wants more. It’s almost too much when he pulls your t-shirt off and he realizes you aren’t wearing a bra. Maybe this was in your plan all along. Chan pulls back and plants a light kiss on your lips, currently pouting and a little puffy from the kisses. When he kisses across your jaw and down to your neck, you arch into it. He wants to savor this, to take his time taking you apart. Wants to coax every noise out of you. Wants to be the reason you’re completely ruined. Doesn’t know that he’s already well on the way there. 

He kisses across the top of your chest, from one collarbone to the other and you let out a small please. Probably that you need more. That’s definitely going to take time, though. When he places a feather light kiss between your breasts, you whimper again, rock your hips forward over him again. It’s everything he can do to not get too turned on too fast. It doesn’t matter if you have a million more times after this. This is the first time and he wants to savor it. Slowly, he moves his lips over to one of your breasts, flicks his tongue across your nipple a couple of times. Nips a mark into your sensitive skin and laves his tongue over to soothe the sting. Your hands are tangled in the ends of his hair that’s longer than you remember it being before. Even if you won’t admit it, he can tell you like it by the way your hands keep finding it. 

As he kisses his way back up to your lips, he moves you a little further back on his lap. Misses the confusion cross your face. But, he’s got a plan. Once he’s kissing you again, one hand slides down your inner thigh and plays with the edge of your shorts. You squirm when you realize just what he’s doing. He can’t fight the groan when he realizes you don’t have any underwear on under your shorts, either. Jesus. He has to pull back for a steadying breath. This is about you and making you feel good. He can’t get too turned on too fast. His lips find yours again and his thumb runs along your slit, inside your shorts. Collects the wetness already between your legs. You try to pull away from the kiss to moan and he uses his free hand to anchor you to him. Lightly, he spreads your lips apart so that his thumb can brush over your clit. That’s when he finally let’s you pull back. 

“Fuck,” you utter immediately.

“Is this still okay?” Chan whispers against your skin before kissing the spot just below your ear. 

“Yes,” you hiss out as his thumb continues to caress your clit. 

“You can stop it if you want,” he tells you. 

“I will kill you if you stop,” you threaten, lust heavy in your tone. 

“Wouldn’t want that now, would we?” he teases.

“Stop being such a - fuck,” you gasp out when Chan slides a finger inside you. 

“Such a what?” he prompts. 

“A tease,” you finish. “Please, Channie, you’re moving so slow.” 

Instead of answering right away, he leans in to kiss you again. Captures your moans, but doesn’t increase the slow, almost lazy speed that his finger enters you. “You in a hurry?” 

“No,” you whine, “but I need more. Please. Please just give me a little more.”

The way words fall out of your mouth, begging him to carry on, makes his dick twitch. He’s thankful you don’t seem to notice because he likes having the control like this. Likes watching you squirm on top of him and knowing it’s all for him. Gives you at least a little of what you want when he slides a second finger in. Doesn’t tell you that it’s still just warming you up for something more. Something he’s been thinking about for weeks. 

“I want to feel you, please,” you beg when Chan pulls his lips away from yours again. 

“Not yet,” he tells you.

“Why?” you whine out.

“I want to taste you first,” Chan says, fingers stilled inside of you, but thumb still lightly circling your clit. 

“Can’t we just…” you start.

“Are you gonna make me beg, baby?” Chan wonders. Your eyes widen at that, both out of surprise and desire. “I will, I have all the time in the world.” 

“N-no, you don’t need to,” you stutter out. “How do you…”

“I want you to sit on my face,” he says simply.

“What?” you nearly gasp.

“I want you to sit on my face,” he repeats. “Just straddle my face and let me show you how good I can be for you.” 

“I’ve, um, well I’ve never…” you start, turning a little shy. 

Chan takes his free hand and tilts your chin up, so gentle that he doesn’t realize the act almost breaks you. “Never had someone eat you out like that?” 

You shake your head. “I, um, haven’t actually been eaten out much.” 

“Can I admit something too, then?” he asks, wanting to make you comfortable. You nod. “I’ve been thinking about what it would feel like to be under you since you got on my shoulders at the orchard and your thighs squeezed my face.”

It’s clear that’s not what you’re expecting. It’s something so honest that it’s all you can focus on. Where Chan would usually feel too exposed, he only feels comfortable with you. Like he can expose everything about him and he’ll still be safe with you. He wants you to feel that too. Doesn’t realize that you’ve never had someone take their time with you like this. 

“Well it was kinda hot, the way you picked me up like that,” you finally admit. 

“So trust me again, I won’t let you fall,” he urges. 

You mumble something under your breath that sounds suspiciously like too late. He’s trying not to focus too much on that, too much on what happens after this. All he wants is this moment to last forever. To be able to show you just how much he cares for you.

“So how do we…” you start.

“Here, get up for a second,” he directs you, gently moving you off his lap. 

In one quick motion, he pulls his shirt off and watches the way your eyes drink him in. His muscles contract as you reach out to run a hand along his stomach. Doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath and waiting for your verdict.

“Fuck me, you’re hot. I’ve seen you swimming, have you always looked like this?” you say, sounding annoyed and making him laugh. 

“Let’s get you out of these,” Chan says instead of answering and helps you pull off your shorts. 

He leans back and makes sure that he’s comfortable. Then, he directs you to straddle his face. Urges you to trust him, Promises you that you’re not going to hurt him. Reminds you that this is about you, but it’s about him, too. He’s wondered what it would feel like to have your thighs boxing his head in. To be so caught up in you. Just as you’re about to protest, he licks a strip up your core and you gasp. He continues to run his tongue up your entrance, sliding his tongue deeper into you as he goes. You start to squirm almost immediately and he reaches up to anchor your legs on either side of his head. 

It’s honestly far better than Chan was imagining. The noises coming from you were only encouraging him to keep going. Not that he really needed any encouragement. He could drown between your legs and be the happiest he’d ever been. It was unthinkable that nobody wanted to take care of you like this before. Your arousal coated his tongue as he pressed it deeper inside you between his licks. His nose bumped against your clit and he had to grip you harder again to keep you from arching off his mouth. As if sensing that he needed you closer, you leaned forward, gripping onto the headboard. He squeezed your legs and fucked his tongue faster into your pussy. 

“Chan, fuck, oh my god, your tongue, I just - fuck,” you curse out. 

He’s good with his tongue, he knows that. Knows he’s good at a lot of things. This is different, though. Every noise sounds so much better, every body spasm is that much more rewarding, every curse sounds perfect. It’s not until your body starts quivering hard that he realizes he’s never wanted to make someone come on his tongue more than this. You must be close because you start to get more incoherent, start to try and pull yourself off him. Instead, Chan holds onto you harder.

“Please, I’m gonna come,” you whine. 

Chan pulls away from your pussy just long enough to utter a single phrase. “Then, come for me.” 

And then he’s back to burying his tongue inside you, licking faster, reaching a hand around your leg to circle your clit with his thumb again. It’s nothing but a string of curses that you utter. Clench your walls around his tongue. There’s nothing hotter than how fully you trust him as you let go, coming on his face. He times the strokes of his tongue to guide you through the high before helping you off of his face so that you can lie back on the bed and catch your breath. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, fully aware that he hasn’t gotten it all, and repositions to lay next to you on his side. Your eyes are closed and he can’t help but brush a piece of stray hair off your face. The tenderness at odds with the previous moments. 

“Whoa,” you finally say when you open your eyes to look at him. 

“Yeah,” he agrees.

“That was…fuck, that was good,” you admit. “I don’t want to give you a big head or anything but damn.” 

“It’s a bit late for that,” Chan jokes. “I could feel how much you enjoyed it.”

You swat at him. “Fuck off.” 

He catches your hand and presses a light kiss to your knuckles. “Not before I fuck you.”

The contrast between the kiss and the statement nearly gives you whiplash. It’s plain on your face that you’re wondering where this version of him came from. 

“Unless you changed your mind or you’re too tired,” he offers. “I just remember you saying you wanted to feel me.”

“Oh no, I definitely still want that. I seem to remember you promising to show me how good you could be for me,” you say, regaining the confidence. 

“My pleasure,” he says and gets up from the bed. 

You’re about to ask what he’s doing when he pulls his briefs and shorts down in one motion, dick springing free. There’s a satisfaction to watching the way you take in the sight of him fully naked. He’s confident in his size, definitely confident he can make you feel good, but it’s still nice to see the way your eyes go big. Nice to see the way you swallow while watching his hand move lazy along his shaft. 

“Condoms?” he asks.

“That drawer,” you indicate. 

He reaches in to get one and rips the package with his teeth. He’s watching you as he slides the latex over his dick. Watching for any signs of second thoughts. There aren’t any, but he wants to check anyway.

“You’re still sure?” he asks.

“Yes,” you confirm, meeting his eyes. “And if something changes, I’ll stop you.”

“Good, because I still wanna make you come at least two more times before I do,” he tells you.

You shudder. “You sure you can do that?” 

“Positive,” he says with a smile that’s entirely too confident. 

Except he knows he can deliver. Knows that he can show you just how good he can be. Knows that he can make you feel amazing. He directs you to lay back on the bed and spreads your legs. Instead of sliding right in, he uses a finger to make sure you’re still ready for him. To make sure he’s not rushing it. You squirm against his finger and he can tell you’re getting impatient again. But, he wasn’t kidding. He’s going to take his time with you. 

You’re still so sensitive that he brings you almost to the edge just with his fingers. Delights in the way you arch into him. In the way his name falls from your lips like a prayer. In the way your fingers dig into the sheets at first before you grip one of his arms. Before you leave scratch marks along that same arm. Before you’re begging him just to let you feel him inside of you. It’s enough to finally make him give into your begging. He lines himself up at your entrance and presses his dick in slowly. Much slower than his finger was pumping into you. He wants to let you adjust to the stretch, though. Your hands make their way to his back and your fingers run down his muscles there. Gently at first, like you’re just exploring his body. When your fingers run down his back again, this time scratching along the way, he buries himself in you and pulls back to snap once, quick. The resulting gasp is music to his ears. 

He sets a varying pace. Mixing slow with fast. Shallow pumps with deep ones. Tries to find out just what you like the best and what pulls the best sounds out of you. He leans back so he can throw one of your legs over his shoulder and hit a different angle. That seems to be the one you enjoy the most and it’s only moments before you’re coming undone around him again. He pulls out when you start to clench around him because he’s not sure that he’s strong enough to hold back through that. And he really does want to make you come more before he does. 

It carries on like that, Chan constantly changing your positions, doing more than his fair share of the work, studying every inch of your body. It’s clear that your brain is going a little mushy and that you’re insanely overstimulated. In the end, he makes you come two more times, in addition to the two previous orgasms, before he finally lets go. It’s honestly the best release he’s ever experienced. The best high and the best sex. Everything feels magnified and also like the most natural thing in the world. He finds it’s really easy to figure out the things you like and they seem to line up with things he enjoys as well. 

He lies back on the bed and you curl into him after you take a minute to recover. Actually tuck yourself right into his side and nestle in with his arm underneath your neck. He wouldn’t ever move if he didn’t have to. But, you both definitely need to get cleaned up. 

“Where are you going?” you ask when he starts to move. Your eyes look a little worried. That kind of breaks his heart because why do you look so nervous?

He leans back onto the bed and presses the softest, most gentle kiss he’s ever given anyone on your forehead. “To get a towel to clean up a bit. And I was gonna start a bath for you, I know your tub is crazy nice.”

“A bath actually sounds really amazing,” you admit.

“Just stay here then and let me take care of you,” he insists. 

You nod and lay back onto the bed, closing your eyes and smiling. It makes his heart swell at the level of comfort you seem to feel. He also knows that you and him need to talk, to figure out what’s going on and where this is heading. Knows that he’s already in way deeper than he should be. But, all he focuses on now is cleaning himself up a bit. It’s a little hard to do, so he just hops in the shower to rinse off as quickly as possible. Once he’s done with that, he focuses on getting the bath running for you. 

When he feels like the temperature is right, that the bath bomb has dissolved enough, and that it’s all completely perfect for you, he walks back into the bedroom. He expects to find you asleep. Instead, you’re sitting up with some fresh clothes next to you. 

“I heard you in the shower,” you say and offer him the clothes when you get up. You wince just slightly. 

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly. 

“I’m not,” you disagree. Chan helps you to the bathtub and helps you in. He blushes a little when you return the favor and kiss him softly on the lips. He turns around when your voice stops him. “Where are you going?”

“I was going to let you enjoy the bath,” he answers.

“I’d like it better if you stayed here,” you admit and his heart feels like it really will explode. 

“Let me just put on some clothes,” he requests.

“You could also just get in with me,” you offer. “Not in a sexual way, just in a closeness way.”

How can he argue with that, really? Your tub is plenty big enough, a sticking point for you even if the rest of the apartment was on the smaller size. The main bathroom was massive, comparatively. So he gets in carefully across from you and settles into the water. It does actually feel really nice. His eyes fall on you moving gingerly to wash yourself off. 

“C’mere,” he says, “turn around.” 

You do as he asks and settle in between his legs, with your back leaning against his chest. He picks up your loofah and takes over rubbing it carefully across your skin. You relax further against him almost immediately, which he takes as a good sign that he’s doing something right. There’s a lot he’s done or tried, but this is new territory for him. And he wants to be good at it, too. 

Once he’s finished cleaning you off, the two of you just stay like that, you leaning against his chest. It’s a comfortable silence that neither of you feels the need to break. It’s not until the water starts to feel cold that you both admit you need to get out. This time, you actually let Chan put his clothes on and you put something comfortable on as well. He helps you pull the sheets off the bed to throw them in the wash. 

The two of you check your phones when you plop down onto the living room couch and Chan grimaces. He’s got a whole bunch of texts and missed calls from Jay. Some are from last night, like you said, but some are from today, too. He shows them to you and you show him a string of notifications that look similar. 

“Time to break the bubble?” Chan asks. 

“At least for long enough that he stops having a heart attack,” you agree. 

So, Chan dials and isn’t surprised when Jay picks up on the second ring.

“What the fuck, Chan, where are you? And why isn’t my sister answering either?” Jay asks instead of a hello.

“Uh, you’re on speaker,” Chan answers. 

“Hey,” you chime in.

“You’re still over there?” Jay asks incredulously. “How much could you possibly have to talk about?” 

“Worried I’m going to steal your best friend?” you tease.

“Or are you worried I’m going to steal your sister?” Chan asks and you laugh.

“No, you’re better than literally any person she’s dated ever. By a lot,” Jay acknowledges. 

“Oh my god, you really are just missing your best friend,” you groan. 

“And my roommate, he’s my roommate too,” Jay protests.

“We have things to talk about,” you say.

“How much do you have to talk about?” Jay wonders. “He likes you, you obviously like him. What else do you need to know?” 

“That’s between us,” you say as Chan starts to talk.

“We also didn’t talk last night because I was drunk,” he adds.

“Yeah and it’s late afternoon now, so what have you been…oh my god, that’s fucking gross, that’s my sister,” Jay sputters out.

“I didn’t even say anything!” Chan protests. 

“You didn’t have to. We’re roommates, remember?” Jay answers.

“If you miss me, just say that and go,” Chan teases.

“I do miss you, I made Vernon come over earlier and it’s not the same,” Jay says.

“Hey,” they hear Vernon say in the background.

“I think I hate this already,” you say and scrunch your face.

“Sick of him already?” Jay jokes.

“No, I don’t like you liking someone I’m dating,” you disagree. 

“Dating?” Jay and Chan ask at the same time.

“Oh, well, I just figured…” you start.

“I’m hanging up on you, bro, we have things to talk about,” Chan says. 

“Fine, but just be good to her, she deserves that,” Jay says.

“Yeah, she does,” Chan agrees, eyes on you. 

He hangs up the phone and just looks at you, unsure of what to say. Unsure of how to start figuring out what this is. You just got out of something that was really unhealthy and he’s not trying to rush you into something new or risk it being unhealthy because you didn’t heal. Couldn’t stand to be a rebound. He’s never thought this far.

“I didn’t meant to assume, I just…” you start.

“Of course I want to date you. It’s just, you just got out of a relationship and I want to give you time to get over that,” he says.

“I think I’ve been over it since the train ride, to be honest,” you say. “Maybe it took me a while to realize. But you showed me, time and time again, what it means to show up for someone you love.”

“I love you, too,” Chan says softly.

“So we figure it out together?” you ask, so hopeful.

Chan leans in and presses a kiss to your lips. “Yeah, we figure it out together.”

i'm sad this is over, but it was so much fun to write! i hope you enjoyed them as much as i did. and there's a very real chance i'll return to this with future timestamps/drabbles. but who knows when because of who i am as a person!

[hes-a-rat-whisperer]

"a rat, a siren and a [HYPERLINK BLOCKED]"

(deltarune AU part 2)

RP with my sweet sweetheart @surprise-sausage-party <3

Alistair eyed that suspicious sign up, holding a clawed hand out to touch it. it looked almost like a pop up.

he flinched back as the sign suddenly glitched out.

"okay so..apparently we reached a city.." he said, thinking out loud and stating the obvious. "maybe..we could find someone who knows the way back home?"

the tall rat´s ears twitched as he kept staring at the weird, floating sign. everything that happened today..it defied all logic.

"in any case..we should stay together."

____

the two monsters walked through the streets, coming face to face with one odd monster after the other and gigantic pop up-like signs literally popping up from nowhere, blinking and beeping as they advertised everything from products to websites.

Alistair´s ears were pinned back in caution, thoughts racing around in his head.

these people..this..city..it might be utterly nuts, but..it was almost as if the two of them crash landed into the internet itself..

but..that couldn´t be! that´s ridiculous! ludicrous!

..right?

"pardon me, do you know how-" but the rat man´s question got cut off as the man he attempted to speak to offered him a..shoe? on a toothpick? "uh no- I just wanted t-" another one of them popped up, holding a cup of tea that he attempted to sell him. "I dont want to buy anything! I just want to know-!"

then, there was a loud siren blaring out way too close to the british monsters, big, sensitive ears and he got more or less tackled by a floating, pink monster with a cold and an angry looking monster holding a huge syringe. "HEY!! WATCH WHERE YOU´RE-!!"

then there was beeping, loud honking of way too many cars heading their way and the realization that all this time, Alistair and Ceb were apparently on the middle of the road.

Alistair growled, grabbed Ceb´s arm and pushed through the crowd, looking for SOME place that could offer them some peace and quiet from all the traffic, salesmen and absurd virus chasings.

____

that place, turned out to be an alleyway. probably the only time where going to an alley near a dumpster was the most sensable thing to do. more sensable than standing in the middle of the road anyway..

in his rage and confusion Alistair kicked the dumpster, making the whole thing shake.

this is a dream. surely! it must be!

isn´t there a single person they could talk to who knows whats going on here and how they can return home?!

[cfrick]

Another horny game review: It is as if you were making love by Pippin Barr. Not an itchio game, but playable in browser for all devices. It's a quick like 3 min experience, it doesn't have a story to spoil.

Yeah i heard about this game in the robot fucker tags, it's a computer sex game.

"It is as if you were making love" a game where you stroke a slider to fill an orgasm bar until the program cums so hard it crashes. This is exactly the kind of stuff i love to consider, both from a porn game perspective and a robot sex perspective.

I think my favorite part is the comments/instructions. Sometimes the computer tells me I'm too slow when it's like. You have me going -3 to 5, I can only move my hand so fast. So perfect replication of actual sex 10/10. You know how it is when you're fucking somebody and they give you a pop-up saying "faster" and you have to stop stroking to hit the OK button and its like 🙄 c'mon. I'm doing my best.

I'll also mention like the actual gameplay feel. I love the clunky clickiness of the slider, how it kinda locks into place. That is a normal UI design thing but it is kinda sexy. It has a nice click sound effect and everything. The mood music didn't work for me, so I have no idea what that is. Also, I sometimes had a hard time reading the program's comments while playing. I imagine this is worse on a phone, your finger would totally be in the way. Overall it's simple, I think there's a lot more to be explored here, but it gets the idea across and it does it well.

If you're a game design and art nerd like me, I strongly recommend reading Barr's development journal. A good quote from it: "There is joy to be found is asking yourself how to best use the Microsoft ‘ding’ in a sexy way…" It's interesting to hear about the thought that went into the game, and all the other ideas that weren't included. Like, at some point there was a plan to include voice recognition, so you'd have to dirty talk your computer with computer-y buzz words like "activate" and "enter". This game could've forced you to say like "ooo baby im gonna select u so hard" out loud. Fun concepts. Barr also mentions Robert Yang and his gay car sex game, a classic. That one's not getting a review, I've already decided, go experience it yourself if you want.

I feel like this game particularly speaks to me as someone who plays a lot of shitty meaningless porn games. I don't think that was the intent, but it has so many of the same ideas. Playing it brought to mind those games where you just do some repetitive button input over and over and get rewarded with images of anime titties and maybe some stock moan sound effects. Like that is a huge category of "games". The funny thing is, to me, this 2-minute art game is exactly as sexy as those full porn games. Those cartoon women are no different than this Windows 95 text box to me. If anything, the text box and notification sounds are preferable. Like the game's description says, it's all the fun of pleasuring somebody without all that messy flesh and human interaction. The bare minimum of an erotic experience and nothing more. I love it.

Pippin Barr has done many cool games, and none of the rest of them are about robot sex so you won't find me reviewing them here. This game is actually something like a sequel to It is as if you were doing work, so go try that out next if you want more speculative future art game experiences.

[herbgroom]

arctic monkeys concert review time, for anyone who cares

so I was under the impression that the concert would start at 5:30pm, so I thought, great! I get there at 12 and I only have to wait 5 hours! WRONG.

the headliners would start at 9:40 PM. I WAITED 10 FUCKING HOURS.

when I got there, there were already so many people. the venue was huge and impossible to navigate, I had to go back and forth a couple of times to understand where I was supposed to go. the one highlight was a security guard who saw the books I was carrying (sartre, lol) and the pins (one was of dark side of the moon) and commented on them. that was nice

so, I arrive at my entry, and I still have a couple of hours to kill, since the gates open at 3pm. WELL. SOME DOUCHEBAG decided to cram up at the front of the gates and everyone followed, I was stuck in the crowd for the remaining hours with no water or food, just a cap, and the scorching sun above me (thankfully I had put on sunscreen beforehand)

the staff was also in a panic as well, it took them a while to check tickets and bags.

but I get inside! and the position I get it's great! just a dozen of meters from the stage, meanwhile people keep coming... and coming...

my friend also manages to get inside and we're finally reunited, we're both a sweaty mess. it is 3:30pm.

the bar is expensive and the water is scarce, it is really difficult to sit down given the amount of people (at max capacity, I heard there were 70-90k people inside)

the waiting game starts, but at about 5pm the first opening act (gli OMINI) comes on stage. they're neat 👍 they played covers of boys don't cry and my generation

another half an hour hour passes, it is getting so fucking hot, but some saint starts distributing water, you have to be extremely lucky to catch a bottle, tho.

second opening act (willie j healey) at about 6pm, they have strong dire straits and 70s soft rock vibes, one of their amps busted, but the crowd was supportive

some more waiting, the venue sponsors come on stage (a national radio) and they start randomly djing and chanting, they throw t shirts and gadgets. I didn't get one.

finally, at 7:40 pm the final warm up act, the hives. they even get a personalised stage with big letters and everything. they're absolutely insane, we didn't catch one breath while they were playing. special shoutout to the guitarist who was dying on stage, you're a true champ 👍

one hour left. and that hour feels like 10. at least the sun has gone down, but the heat remains, given how cramped up everyone is. I'm starting to feel very sick, nauseous and with a headache. I try to sit down the best way I can.

BUT FINALLY!! ARCTIC MONKEYS TIME!!! they come on stage and everyone loses their fucking minds, there's a huge mirrorball on the ceiling and a big circular projector behind them

here's the setlist

I had to literally block my ears a few time cuz the screaming was so so strong

alex speaks some italian and that also causes people to lose their minds, the audience mainly cares only for him. sad! I was cheering you on nick, matt and jamie! you were amazing! also the guys responsible for the moog synthesiser and additional guitars, awesome indeed

funny how everyone sang the most popular songs while barely anyone knew the songs from the car, well I sang those the loudest! mirrorball was fucking awesome, the highlight for me, cuz at the end the real mirrorball started spinning and shining. so so cool

I also screamed REALLY LOUD when they played sculptures, I lost my mind. I had waited for it FOR SEVEN MONTHS.

so, was it worth it?

arctic monkeys were amazing, but all the waiting made it unbearable, I couldn't wait to go home afterwards- and that too took a while because the subway was really far away.

so, there you have it, great concert, terrible experience. an overall 4/10, while the band was 10/10 (I wish I heard them more clearly, it was impossible to hear alex through the screaming)

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

I remember how much I used to see the sky.

When I was a kid my mother had custody of us but my father would get us for the weekends and try to bring us camping and stuff like that, but he also lived 4 hours away by truck [they hadn't built that new highway yet, it was supposed to be a 6 hour trip back then but my dad took some weird pride in doing it in 4, it'll be 4 for you now either way, now he does it in 3], and then after I was 10 my father had custody and we visited my mother on the weekends, so a larger percentage of my childhood than you would think was spent in a car on the highway. Not quite sleeping at night on the highway in the rain, watching the fields and the rocky terrain and the forests and the sky stream past all day.

The most visible thing about it all was the sky, because the further something is from you the slower it goes. You can't focus on the weeds at the side of the road or blink quite fast enough to take a mental snapshot of those to see what they even are, but the sky moves slowly. It does move though, clouds roll over entire areas as you are speeding in and out of them. You drive under and back out from under storms. There's plenty of patches of sun-shower on the highway too.

My dad preferred to do most of his driving at night when my sister would be asleep and there wouldn't be as much yelling from strapping an autistic child with adhd into a truck for 4-6 hours next to another quieter kid with autism and adhd who didn't like being touched or being around loud noises. And we'd have to stop half way to pee and try to get us to eat something like a meal. We were so used to so little food at that time in my life that we'd split a happy meal. So almost every drive involved either a sunrise or a sunset while flying at high speed in and out of the Canadian wilderness in Ontario. Past farms. The moon from every angle and how often it was visible in the sky during the day. Every star as it came out if it was low enough to see from a truck window. Every radio tower and low flying satellite. Dusk, dawn.

I spent most of every trip staring out the window and trying to focus past all the noise on what was on the radio. Sometimes my step sister was there too. There were always these big colourful sunrises and sunsets. Always. Huge clouds. Neon burning magenta and orange and gold but also purples and teals and so many soft colours. There's a particular energy about flying through the world at that speed where everything is cartoonishly colourful water-colour kind of sunsets and highway lights at night flying past in the rain. A snapshot of something in your brain that tastes like bubble gum and smells like old water colour booklets and reminds you of the old sailor moon anime. There was always rain on one part of the highway or another. And the radio. The radio of the 90s. Half of that energy is feeling the road pass under you at high speed while you are bounced gently up and down by various bumps, the sound of that through the seat belt, and the familiar pressure of it digging into your cheek. I understand why at some point my sister just ran out of energy and passed out cold for half the trip.

And then we'd get there and there would be massive colourful clouds over the giant forest hill on the way into town or out over the lake, off the balcony of my grandmother's apartment, out over my aunt's cottage-like house, out over the actual cottage she had on the lake, over all the little houses where my mom lived. Somehow there were so many more windows than I have in my rentals now. Or we'd go camping, and once the sun was low enough that I wasn't spending all my time avoiding it touching me, I could wander around in the woods or on a beach watching it set everything on rainbow-coloured fire. Or it would be overcast enough not to be blinding and I could see everything in full crisp, if damp and cool, colour for once, like the pink roses my step mother grow outside their house.

It's hard to think of it as the same sky that's overhead now. It tasted different back then.

[jodilin65]

Yay, Adonis is alive! He’s just been having a rough time.

Anyway, I tried to post the following entry last night so I’m going to backdate this, but we had a huge storm that took out the Internet. The Panhandle had tornadoes and we had a tornado warning here. Got tons of wind and thunderstorms. It’s a good thing I was up during the loud thunder, not that I don’t get woken up numerous times for other reasons.

I’m still sleeping shitty. Part of it is the sleep apnea and the other part is that I’ve been warm and hot flashy as if I’m back in perimenopause. I read that the Mayo Clinic considers that a serious side effect of Diflucan because that could mean an allergic reaction or liver problems and I’m now thinking the cramps I’ve been having was my liver after all. It’s a little better now, though. I took Ibuprofen for it, assuming that’s what it really is, and that helped a bit. I think that because the Diflucan is hard on the liver mine got some inflammation but it should go away. My eyes aren’t yellow or anything. I just hope I don’t keep waking up on fire again tonight!

The frustrating part is not knowing how much of the Diflucan was responsible for my emotions and feeling warm as opposed to my thyroid medication because they have similar symptoms. I might think most of it was the Diflucan if it wasn’t for the weight loss. As the Diflucan continues to leave my system, I’ll get a better sense of what may be on the levothyroxine. I still think it accumulated in my system and pushed my TSH down to 3-4 which would be great for most people but not for me.

Yesterday wasn’t the greatest. I wasn’t anxious but I was a little down. Just missing so many aspects of my past. The way I felt emotionally and physically. Some parts of it, anyway. You definitely see the world through a whole different set of eyes when you’re younger. You don’t realize in your twenties or thirties or even you’re early forties just how much things change when you get older. When you’re young, you laugh at the older people who worry about you but then you get older too, and then you get it.

I just wish I could bring a lot of the old me into the present me. I want some of my old feelings back but I also want to keep the knowledge I have today and my present life. Then again, I miss the days before my sleep disorder progressed and I was out more often. It’s just not easy to get out every day other than walking around the park which I barely have energy for since there’s no place to go but to stores and doctors. Plus, we have an old electric car and not much money.

I just feel like everything has been thrown off. Especially with the insurance change. Galileo finally responded to my email and all they said was that they’re not partnered with my new insurance company but I could still subscribe. I know I can subscribe but how would I coordinate the two? They didn’t answer any of my questions about that so I asked them on Facebook how things would work. If they ordered tests or medicine, how would they bill Aetna? Argh, why don’t they just partner with everyone?

Another thing that stresses me out is that they changed my losartan brand. Instead of a green oval pill, I now have a white round pill. We looked online on a pill identifier site to confirm that it is losartan and the proper dose but I don’t know what side effects may come with it that the other brand doesn’t include. I still have a week’s worth of the old brand, though. Maybe I’ll take one tomorrow and see how I do.

Lastly, I started getting this funny feeling in my mouth and I knew it couldn’t be thrush because I’ve been having yogurt and the Diflucan also kills that. I remembered probiotics can do that so I’ve cut those back along with vitamin D. That’s already improved.

Today I only cut my waiting time by 10 minutes so tomorrow I will be back to my regular levothyroxine regimen and waiting 4 hours before I take the losartan and we’ll see how I do. As I said, as soon as the Diflucan gets out of my system, anything else I feel is definitely on that.

Because my sleep apnea is still causing sleep disturbances and snoring, we’re ordering a device on Amazon that may or may not work. It says free returns so I can return it if it doesn’t. It’s similar to the nose pillow I tried with the CPAP. You stick it up your nose and if it works it will at least not have any hoses and I should be able to change positions easier.

Here’s where our perfect neighbor next door isn’t so perfect anymore. He’s blasting his TV so loud I can hear it in here. It’s not quite as bad as the guy across from us in Cali but I knew it. I just knew it. People wait a handful of months after moving into a new place and then say “fuck it.” I don’t know if they simply stop giving a shit about their neighbors or they figure they’ll be more tolerant now that they’ve been around a while, but this is totally typical. The guy’s up late, too. Some nights he’s out but I’m sure this isn’t a one-off but the new nightly norm. Oh well. As long as it doesn’t get any louder.

Tom gave plasma today for $65 and it made him queezy and tired. I hope it doesn’t keep doing this to him. Still, we managed to run out and treat ourselves to some BK. It was so windy that birds had trouble flying and we could feel the car being pushed.

[the-firebird69]

These people have to take a powder I say it every time I'm getting angry all over the place with people here too I'm saying it for a reason I say it out loud here and there's things in the way but really it says you got to tell him what things are actually in the way stuff fooling around with each other this is going to become a problem so they came in and says he's not here use max over here at these Max here and the max over here and some floors many foreigners as Max we're doing it and probably like 85% Mac and 15% foreigners so go ahead and put orders out on them and we are bringing them in the ones doing it and I'm sick of them doing it it's a big number but we're going to do it and they're asking for it I can't believe they're still doing this juvenile s*** they think it's going to work for them and it ain't and Max is a major offender and yeah his people are down to 2% and the max are down to like 17% and they're going to be smaller pretty quick and as the population decreases their percentages don't match the numbers that were there so they're smaller than what it looks like meaning that the 4 and 3% off Island are really like 2% of what the population was last year I don't know if they get that cuz the population overall is shrinking because they're shrinking and some others mostly them and it's starting to stare at it cuz they're so smart and quick and better than everyone now you say it all the time and it's a mistake most people don't say it my son events everything doesn't say it now I'm angry again and tomorrow's Monday and I want lawsuits to go out I want Max sued. He does order people to do stuff and he is getting the ball rolling in a lot of things doing a lot of actions against warlock but the max are having them do it we can see them doing a meeting a lot of times they tell him out loud. 90% of what's going on is because the max are approving it and mac daddy is approving things like trying to launch attacks on us and things like that and they have him do it but not using their forces and his are shrinking to nothing. The more like are down to like 2.8% in the eastern hemisphere and 3.9% in the Western hemisphere and they have yet to lose that percentage point no they lost it and they're going to lose another one and they're going to be teeny the Mac Donald plan went from 3% last week to 2% this week just so pretty big still pretty big but the next few weeks they're going to lose probably 90% of their people and it's because the empire is taking over.

As a side note Tommy F tried to trap our son and his house wouldn't give a ride back they did get a ride out there and she took the car and said her friend let her have it for the day and he's asking too many questions but she said that's what it is and cuz he came running out and he didn't care cuz he had a tough night and didn't care and really she told him it's not your car and I know whose car it is and it's in the glove compartment and she had the keys and said we're out here you try anything I told him to beat you up and really she could have kicked his ass but he's standing there waiting to beat him up and he was driving this is fun cuz she knows that to him she does that to him and on the way out seeing s*** and he just drove off is what really happened pretty fast so you can slow down now I like 20 miles away and she hears a kind of on the radio he's going nuts screaming and yelling and people going over there to tell them off and he said you don't know who I am and what I can do to you all this s*** they say what are you doing you tried to kidnap them. Ended okay but we have a lot going on and he drove pretty good and the car was powerful he said and they parked it what they said and she gave the keys to the rightful owner and that was azog and he went ballistic and said how did you get it back because he drove it out.

-there's a huge number of people who are getting here to help but there's some things going on tonight everybody needs to know firstly this war and it's huge and there are several areas that are very hot and getting hotter and we need to quell it I'm going to put it out there now

-the fight against Tommy F robots off Utah and Grand canyon is way too hot too many troops too many weapons way too many huge weapons and they're taking it way over the top it needs to be called right now and we're sending teams and we're going to the war room

-they fight against the empire they have way too many armies standing by huge armies of warlock sitting out in the middle of the countryside and aiming around and same deal we need to quell it

-giant giant armies are heading towards Florida need to be stopped immediately

-humongous armies are going to sea to fight the clones over there armament and we need to seriously monitor it much better we need all our troops up now.

-we have an urgent message from Hera and Zeus saying when they're doing something this big they're going to do it on the backside very big and we found them doing it

-we have several other large conflicts none of the attack of the empire of the attacking our basis they're also attacking more machine factories armor and factories factories in the areas and the mines and supply places that send them food and more they're trying to attack water electrical stuff and sewer and shipping it's a giant giant warlock move and we're moving out there's way too many of them out there and they're all over the place and he's called battle groups to fill up everybody every ship we have and grab every ship we can from the Bullock we don't need that in addition and it says tonight they're going to attack everything and huge Armies all over the place. We also need heavy from the empire and it's going on and pulling out our false flag I'm ordering it now I'm going to the meeting now I'm putting it out there so the general populace will know to stay in place and shelter in place and to call immediately if you are suddenly into war zone and you only have minutes or seconds and we can get there in time

Thor Freya

Zues

I'm here working heard about it and told him to notify everybody right now and everybody's moving out

Hera

Olympus

[lindsaystravelblogs2]

Day 25 - Tuesday, 28 March  La Paz

We didn’t much like La Paz for a variety of reasons.  We had a very poor guide whose hearing was considerably worse than mine (can you believe that?).  He often seemed not to hear us and ignored most of our questions - and when he did respond, he answered the question he wanted to answer, rather than the one we asked.  He admitted to having a stroke a year ago and was carrying a bit of a disability (as well as his hearing loss) and told us that he wasn’t really a guide – he was a mountaineering leader just filling in until his next climbing party arrived.  He often simply wandered away leaving us to run after him, and he was very political (a big no-no for a guide) – everything was the government’s fault, and the citizenry was unfairly expected to pay taxes to get their services – quite unreasonable!

Nonetheless, he was who we had and we made what we could of it.  First up in the morning, we went to yet another Valley of the Moon: this one on the edge of the city where erosion had carved the landscape into some very strange and dramatic shapes.  We arrived at the gates as the rain started so we didn’t spend a lot of time there.  The area was quite extensive and we could see walkways running in many directions, but in the interests of staying dry, we took some photos and returned to the car. 

We then went to a park that overlooked the city and it surrounded us on all sides.  La Paz is built in a huge caldera and people build to the very crest of the mountains – to their detriment due to regular catastrophic landslides. 

Our guide spent most of his time on the phone and we were left to wander, dodging the rain wherever we could.  We heard quite a lot of what sounded like gunfire, but he assured us that it was just fireworks.  There were huge rallies in the city, protesting about the right-wing government, and they drew attention to themselves by letting off very loud fireworks.  The Teachers’ Union was apparently the prime movers in the unrest, arguing for a communistic-style rebellion and we felt quite uncomfortable about it.

(I need to go back a week or so so explain that the only reason we were in La Paz was because of similar, but more violent, ‘civil’ unrest in Puno where we had planned to be.  Unable to risk getting involved in that, our tour organisers had rerouted us to La Paz, only to find things pretty uncomfortable there too.)

We were supposed to be visiting the old part of the city but that was where the unrest was focussed, so we missed that and attempted to get out of the area through a massive traffic jam.  We have been in crazy traffic chaos in other places around the world, but nothing comes close to La Paz.  It is impossible to describe but horrific to experience, despite all the locals taking it in their stride, without rancour, and often with almost a full millimetre between adjacent vehicles.  Incidentally, vehicle numbers are regulated by only allowing numberplates ending in particular digits on each weekday.  That reduces vehicle numbers by 80% during the week!

We eventually abandoned the car and caught a minibus that delivered us to the main cable-car station.  There are at least 3 lines across the city and it has become one of the main ways people get from A to B – understandable if you see the traffic.  We took one line up to the top of the mountain and changed to another line and then a third – I think we took the yellow, blue and red lines in order, and ended back in the city at the old railway station – before taking a cab part-way back to our hotel.

We ended up in complete gridlock so walked the last kilometre to our hotel.  The cable-car rides were mildly interesting with one of the main features being the mammoth public cemetery – it is HUGE and we flew right across it.  The richer people use a cemetery somewhere out of town, but the poorer ones rent little niches in what looks like ten or twenty (or fifty) Victoria Markets, mostly under cover, row on row, tier after tier, block after block, with roads and paths running everywhere.

Just a small corner of the cemetery.

We went out to a pizza place a block or two from our hotel for dinner.  We ordered one pizza between us and ate about three-quarters of it.  Just so big that we couldn’t get through it.  I am not blaming the pizza, but I had the worst diarrhoea of my life, combined with agonising leg cramps most of the night that seriously inhibited my ability to do much on the following day.  I never slept a wink all night.

[ii-zi]

aaaaa got concern over my health bc of the 15 days period flow thing. i wasnt able to get my school issued medical care stuff on shape in time bc the pandemic started, so currently i do not have a free healthcare provider, plus im in exam season (for the next 1-2 weeks), i have school from 7am to 6pm, missing a single class stresses me immensimely, and i have so much homework to do jsjajjds

that being said i am trying to get help, though. i do have a pcos diagnosis but i’ve never had any issue even remotely similar to this (quite the contraire, i barely even have a flow most of the time), so i’m genuinely concerned too jsjajjs. however the fastest i could probably get an exam done is on friday, and who knows when i could get a gyn to look at it lol (plus the fact that it’d cost money bc general hospitals are filled to the brim rn and either way i dont have free healthcare)

[centralperkspoison]

the way i loved you | e. munson

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader (She/Her)

Warnings: Fluff, kissing, slight hints towards sex, taking off clothes, no actual smut though, hints towards underage drinking, and yeah!

Summary: Inspired by the song, "The Way I Loved You," by Taylor Swift. Reader is Eddie's ex, who is currently talking with and seeing Steve. While everything is amazing with Steve because he treats reader so wonderfully, and they're thinking about officially getting together, reader can't help but miss the chaos and madness that they had with Eddie. Everything in readers head is decided when she speaks to Eddie for the first time in months at school. (Takes place the year before S4, and reader is a Junior).

Other: I got this idea in the car yesterday when i was screaming The Way I Loved You by Dr. Swift in the car with my bestfriend yesterday. This is all because of her adding it to the spotify queue, so ty &lt;3

(update! me and the person i had previously mentioned and i are no longer friends, so you wont be hearing about her anymore :))

Word Count: 1.8k

---

The lunch room was extra loud today. The chit-chat of students still contained little details about you and Eddie's breakup, which hurt for either of you two to think about, much less see each other daily. He seemed to become quieter during lunch, obviously bothered by the distance between his first, true love, and him. There was no more hopping up on lunch tables or pounding his fists on them, tossing food at his friends, or even making fun of the bitter people who belong to the 'Cult of Baskets,' or 'The Darkside,' as Eddie liked to call the basketball team, but now pure silence on his part. Which you couldn't say much about because you too were moping around after your breakup.

It's not like one of you decided it you lost feelings and cut the other off. It was a long time coming.

There was screaming, fighting, breaking down, coming undone, it was a rollercoaster.

But secretly, to you, that was everything.

The two of you had gone to a huge party the night before at a girl named 'Tina' 's house, where you drank a lot, so Eddie let you sleep at his house. You two both woke up the next morning naked, and with a hangover. At what point in one of the many conversations you two had that day had it taken the turn into a conversation about your entire relationship, you weren't sure, but you two decided it would be best to split up.

So here you were, avoiding the Senior side of the cafeteria at all costs, for what you thought was going to be the end of the year.

Until you weren't.

You had known Steve Harrington for a while, seen as you were (Y/N) Henderson. He was your favorite one out of your brother's friends, (Of course other than Suzie, El, and Max. You loved them.) But you never realized that he was the supposed, "King Steve," That everyone in Hawkins High talked about, so once the two of you started going on dates, the uproar of rumors and gossip that contained the two of your names surprised you.

But you weren't even worried about that. You didn't care how Hawkins High reacted, all you cared about was what he would think. The boy you spent hours with just making fun of the 'top of the food chain' kids, the 'first to die in a horror movie kids', the 'coming from good money shouldn't be your only personality,' kids. The kids like Steve.

You sit in your normal seat by one of the many windows on the Junior side of the cafeteria, staring out of the dirty glass and looking at the sky. Bird watching had become one of the few hobbies you have yet to discover, but you still recognized a few of the pretty birds that flew among the wisps of white in the sky. You had already finished your lunch, and you were just waiting for the final bell that was destined to ring at any minute until you felt two, large arms wrap loosely around your neck.

You quickly turn your attention to the culprit, Steve.

"Done with lunch?" He asks, attempting to remove his arms, but his watch gets caught in your ponytail. "Yep," You respond, moving your hands to his watch so you can stand up. "How are you?" He asks as you untangle his watch from your hair successfully. "I'm good, you?" You answer, standing up to throw away your lunch tray in the trash can five feet away. Once you come back, you notice Steve is already sitting in the seat right across from where you were seated. His expression seemed so genuine in the way he admired you, you loved it.

"So, are you busy babysitting my brother tonight?" You ask, a small smile playing on your lips as you see his flustered reaction. "First of all, (Y/N), I don't babysit him, I just happen to enjoy his company, secondly, if what you were asking was if I'm free tonight, then your answer is yes." He says, smiling. "Great," You respond, giving him a huge, child-like smile. "What for?" He asks, smirking. You pull out a piece of paper with some foreign looking language on the front.

"I wanted to check this restaurant out, see if its as good as I heard it was." You respond, shoving your messy handwriting into Steve's hand. "Okay, cool. I'll pick you up at seven." He responds, giving you a kiss on the cheek as the bell for next period rings.

TIME SKIP

Seven o' clock doesn't take too long to come around, but you still have to do your mascara. You run to your desk and pull out your eyelash curler, and bring it up to your eye as your mother yells for your brother instead of you.

"Dustin, your older friend is here!" She calls, and Dustin comes out of his room shouting. "Mom, what?" He replies, walking out of his room, and locking eyes with Steve. "What are you doing Steve? And why are you all dressed up?" Dustin asked.

Dressed up?

You felt your heart skip a beat at those words. He got all dressed up, just to go try out a new restaurant with you.

After applying your final coat of mascara, you grab your purse and throw on your shoes before running out of your room.

“Hi.” He says once he sees you. “Hey.” You respond, smiling at his starstruck expression. He clears his throat then turns his attention to your mother. “Can I take your daughter out on a date tonight?” He smiles nervously. “Yes, honey. Just at least bring her back before tomorrow.” Your mother smiles, clearly charmed by Steve. “I’m sorry, what?” Dustin calls out, clearly pissed off at the two, “You two are together?” He asks, crossing his arms.

“No, we’re just hanging out Dustin,” Steve smiles. “Alright, well hang out with protection please, (Y/N) is loud enough as it is.” Dustin says, turning around to go to his room. “What he said.” Your mother agrees, turning around to go to the kitchen.

Steve and you open the door and walk out to the car, and he runs to the passenger side with you.

“Let me get that,” He says, "You look beautiful tonight." He finishes, smiling.

He opens up my door and I get into his car, and he says, “You look beautiful tonight,” And I feel perfectly fine.

You can't help but think back to all of your memories with Eddie. While Steve is sensible, and so incredible, and he calls exactly when he says he will, he's close with your mother, he's charming and endearing and you're comfortable. Eddie gifted you a lifetime of memories. While there was so much chaos and craziness imbedded in your relationship, you loved it.

The screaming, the fighting, the kissing in the rain... you wanted it all. As long as it was with Eddie.

But you refused to let that cloud your judgement. You were on a date with Steve, not Eddie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the date went by in a blur, and for the most part you were quiet. It was incredibly awkward. After he dropped you off, back at your house, you ran up to your room.

Once you enter your room you hear a very familiar yet static-y voice come from your desk that catches your attention. Upon further inspection, you discover it's coming from the walkie-talkie that Eddie gifted you for your seventeenth birthday, on the channel that only the two of you use.

"(Y/N)?" You hear him say. Impossible. We had mutual agreements to not speak to each other ever again. You walk closer to the silver box and hear him speak again. "(Y/N/N)?" He said. He never used that nickname for you, it was only the popular crowd that called you that. "(Y/N), please." He said, starting to sound hopeless. You pick up the walkie-talkie, pull on the antenna, and press the button on the side, "Eds'?" You ask, the nickname that only you ever called him rolling off of your tongue as if it was the most important thing in the world. "Hey," he said, relief apparent in his voice, "Hi," You respond. "Can I come over?" He asked, voice shaky.

You shouldn't. You know you shouldn't.

"No Eddie... You shouldn't." You say, breaking your own heart. "Oh." He said, connection being a little too clear for him to be all the way at his house. "Eddie?" You ask, "Yeah?" He responds. "Where are you?" You ask. You flinch at the knock on your window.

You shouldn't.

But you do.

You unlock the window and knock twice, signaling to him that its open, and you walk over to your bed. Once he reseals the window, He takes about three steps towards you, still being at least five feet away from you. He takes a deep breath, then looks up at you with sad eyes.

"It was a mistake." He said, causing your eyes to water. "It was Eds'. I miss you." You say, standing up and taking a step towards him. "I miss it all." You say.

"I miss screaming, and fighting, and kissing in the rain. When It's 2:00 a.m. and I'm cursing your name over the phone. So in love that we acted insane, Eddie. You were wild, and crazy. Just so frustrating, and that's one of the reasons I love you Eddie. I know I said I couldn't take how chaotic we were, but that's what makes our relationship ours." You say, looking up at him with sad eyes.

He finally closed the space between the two of you, and wrapped one his arms around your waist and pulled you in, and used his other hand to cup your cheek. He used his thumb to wipe the tear off of your cheek. "I missed you too." He said, pulling your face to meet his lips.

His lips were just as you remembered them. This wasn't a goodbye kiss, it was a hello kiss. One of many to come. This kiss made all of the ones that came before it feel like childsplay. He was, and will always be yours, and vise versa.

The kiss grows deeper, his lips feeling like silk against yours. You move your hands up to his hair, allowing your fingers to rake through, and grab on to each piece. He lets out a soft moan as he feels you grip his hair into your soft hands, while he allows his calloused ones to play with the hem of your shirt, finally deciding to tug it off.

"I love you." He says in your ear, allowing his hands to trail up your torso.

(A/N): Okay I like this one... specifically the beginning though, I feel like I got a little lazy towards the end. I hope everyone likes it though?! Also, two posts in one week? Look at me go! Anyway, please leave questions/suggestions in my requests box!

[pualaha]

i drive alone past your street

I wrote this a year ago and meant to post it then, but I was going through a rough time, so here it is!! I am really excited for it!

a/n: hello friends! so here is the first fic on this page. this was requested a while ago on elena’s page, but y’all know what happened sooooooo. anyway, please enjoy this song fic of Olivia Rodridgo’s song, “Drivers License”. however, this was really long and the timeline does not match the one in the show (we made most of this up as we went lol), so please understand the mistakes there might be. we love you guys <3. 

DISCLAIMER: WE DO NOT OWN ANY OF RIVERDALE- NOT ITS SET OR CHARACTERS!! I ALSO DON’T OWN OLIVIA RODRIGO’S SONG, “DRIVERS LICENSE”, BUT I DID CHANGE A FEW WORDS AND THE RIVERDALE STORYLINE. ALSO GIF CREDITS TO WHOEVER TOOK THE ONE I POSTED

!⚠️TW⚠️!: breakups, foul language, drugs, drinking, sexual assault, 

mentions of: sweet pea (obvi), pretty much all of the teens in riverdale, pop tate, fp jones.

meanings of abbreviations: y/n- your name, y/l/n- your last name, y/m/n- your middle name, y/ms/n- your mother’s name, y/d/n- your dad’s name, y/b/n- your brother’s name, y/s/n- your sister’s name, y/n/n- your nick name.

word count (including lyrics): 3,664

type of fic: angsty/ sad

sweet pea x female serpent reader

bold: lyrics

italics: flashbacks

bold italics: alternate reality

I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house

you were beyond ecstatic. finally, you had your own freedom- a drivers license! you called your best friend, toni, to tell her the good news. she told you to go to pops chock’lit shoppe to celebrate, the place with the best milkshakes in all of america- or so you liked to believe. 

you got to your destination and walked inside ready for a fun, but relaxing evening with your best friend. one that you had needed for a while. however when you walked inside there was a loud bang and people shouting ‘surprise’. shocked, you started laughing and ran to toni. of course, you were happy to see your serpent family celebrating a huge milestone in your life, but you were looking for the person who you had been missing the most. someone who was so excited for you to get your license so you could drive to his house instead of walk at night- sweet pea. sadly, you knew he wouldn’t be there. you had broken up two weeks ago and he would be with the, well what you serpents called the north side queen, josie mccoy. 

after the party, that lasted way too long for your liking, you drove along the south side of riverdale. you claimed that you just wanted to get of feel of the car you had already been driving even before you were legally allowed to, but in reality, you wanted to see if he was home and if he was, was she with him. the answer to both of those questions happened to be yes, making your heart break on a day that it was supposed to make it rejoice.

But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around  

a week had passed since you got your license and truly you were so thankful for being able to drive. you could clear your head, go to parties, have car sleepovers, which happened more often than many believed, and now that school had started- drive to school. since it was the start of a new school year meant you could meet new people and get your mind off of sweet pea, which was impossible to do. since your circle ran so closely.

every time the serpents were together, josie was always there with him. even in the most important and secretive meetings, she was there and no one seemed to care. things were worse at school, though. sweet pea no longer sat with you and your friends and almost every time you turned a corner, there they were all over each other. he was never this touchy with you and that hurt the worst. what did she have? ‘everything.’ you thought.

you, along with toni, fangs, cheryl, betty, archie, jughead, and veronica, sat in the commons area, talking and laughing. you wanted to laugh and have fun, but you just stared out the window at the two unlikely lovers. 

“earth to y/n,” fangs, one of your best friends snapped his fingers in front of your face.

you shook your head, “sorry.”

“what’re you thinking about?” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“how are you guys so okay with this,” you pointed to sweet pea and josie, “i mean he doesn’t even talk to you guys when i’m around. how are you not hurting?” everyone turned to you, but fangs and toni looked at the ground.

“of course it hurts, but we weren’t involved with SP like you were, we didn’t have that connection with him, babe. however, that doesn’t mean i wouldn’t love to see them break up.” toni sighed. tears brimmed your eyes as you saw them laugh, like throwing their heads back type of laugh. 

you picked up your stuff abruptly, accidentally hitting the window hard, “i just remembered that i have to go.”

everyone looked at you with confusion, except for sweet pea who looked a little bit guilty, but that expression didn’t last long.

getting into your car, you started to scream and cry. you let everything out. finally, you decided to go to yours and sweet pea’s favorite- scratch that, used to be favorite- spot. neither of you had been there since the breakup. it was on the north side of riverdale, in the woods. you two went there because to you, it felt like you guys didn’t belong to the wrong side of the tracks. 

there was a little fort you guys built that had blankets, pillows, and a cooler. everything was in the same place, more run down and messy, but almost nothing had changed. it reflected you perfectly- broken with signs of him left around. the blankets and pillows reeked but you didn’t care. you snuggled into them, laying in the woods of the riverdale suburbs and cried. you cried until you feel asleep, your mind drifting into another memory. 

And you're probably with that one girl Who always made me doubt She's so much better than me She's everything I'm insecure about

a meeting had been called at the whyte wyrm. you were dreading it but only because you were dreading seeing sweet pea and josie, but they never showed up. you hated that, which was weird. you thought that if they weren’t around you’d feel better, but you didn’t because at least when they were there you could see what was happening. you knew what they were doing, where they were and whatnot, but they were gone, you didn’t know anything now. which scared you more than seeing them together. 

honestly, you weren’t surprised about him breaking up with you and going to her, you knew it was only a matter of time. she had clear skin, lived on the north side, could drive months before you could, she was taller, her hair was much prettier and fuller than yours, hell she could sing, and her body. her body was crafted by aphrodite herself. everything about her was desirable. and although you were trying to convince yourself that you were surprised, you weren't.

Yeah, today I drove through the south side 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

today was the day of a bonfire. you had no idea why the serpents were throwing one, but they really didn’t need a reason. 4 weeks, 4 days, 19 hours, 10 minutes, and 50 seconds, that was how long you two had been broken up. you should’ve been over him by now. 

“hey topaz, fogarty, y’all wanna get plastered?” you raised a cocky smile. this was the first thing you had said since you got there. the two looked at you, knowing this would be a bad idea, but you needed it. 

“you’re so on, y/l/n!” Fangs jumped up and ran to get beers.

toni scooted closer to you and grabbed your hand, “hey, love, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“toni, it’s been almost 5 weeks, i should be over him!”

‘y/n, girl, you guys dated for more than two years, you shouldn’t be over him, not even close.” you shrugged her hand off.

“please, t, let me do this, i need this. plus it won’t take me long to get drunk, i am a lightweight!” you both laughed as fangs came back, arms full of beer. 

“you ready, serpent goddess?” he eyed you. 

toni looked at him with a lost look, “did you just call her ‘serpent goddess’?”

“uh yeah. what do your ears not work? she is the daughter of two of the most respected serpents and her family has been in the serpents the longest- she has a pure serpent bloodline.”

you smiled, “okaaay, fangs, i like that. prepare to lose to the serpent goddess.” you all laughed. unbeknownst to you, a dark-haired boy was looking at his old friends missing them, but mainly looking at you, wishing you could be friends again. 

a few hours later and 5 beers down, you were drunk off your ass. so badly that you were flirting with almost everyone you saw. it was all fun and games until someone grabbed your butt. 

“woah,” you shook your head looking around to see who did that.

“sorry, princess, ya jus look too good to not talk ta,” a random serpent smiled with ugly crooked teeth.

“um, don‘t, please.” you whispered to the ground.

“wha was that, ya’re gon have ta speak up,” he lifted your face.

“lea-”

“hey! you heard her, she said leave.” you were cut off by him. something you never expected. your eyes grew wide. 

“wha’d ya say boy?”

“i said leave her alone, it’s not that hard.” by now everyone had stopped talking to look at what was unraveling before their eyes. FP started making his way to the center.

“what is going on?” the big man yelled.

“nothin’." the crooked smiled man snarled.

“that’s what i thought, y’all go back to doing what you were.” FP yelled to the crowd, making them disperse leaving the two of you alone in the middle.

“are you okay, y/n/n?” sweet pea went to grab your arm.

“i’m fine.” you dead panned, jerking your am away. he lifted his arms in surrender and walked away. you turned around wondering why he came to your rescue, of course you were thankful for that, but he hadn’t made a move to talk to you since the breakup.

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street

“shut up, sweet pea! you annoy the hell out of me!” you screamed at him.

“i annoy you? really? dude, imagine what it’s like to be with you! you are so whining all the time! that’s all you ever do! bro i am so tired of it.” he slammed his fist into the table. you flinched back, “did you just flinch? is that what you think of me, y/n? that i would hit you?”

“what- no- baby-”

“ya’know maybe we do need to break up. i think that’d be for the best.”

“what? no sweets, please-”

“leave. you can get your stuff tomorrow.” he faced the opposite direction. you were both crying, and despite your whole body screaming at you to run to him and stay, you turned around and left. something neither of you expected. something else that surprised you both was the fact that he didn’t run after you.

it had been a bad day, a really bad day. on top of the breakup, your parents were going through a rough patch. your dad would go on these drinking sprees. they never lasted more than 2 weeks, but what he did during those two weeks, only he knew, and he claimed he was too drunk to remember anything so you never knew what he did. 

sweet pea normally helped you when your dad went wild. no one else knew, you didn’t want people to feel bad for you or think badly of your parents. you were, like fangs put it, the serpent goddess. you were one of the only people who had married parents that seemed to love each other, you lived in a house- not anything like the north side but a house nonetheless, your grades were exceptional and you were sitting in the top 5 of your class. everything on the outside made it seem like you were the ‘perfect’ south side girl. so there was no way anyone else could know.

you had just gotten home from school to find your dad gone and your mom bawling on the couch, which sucked. there was no way you could deal with that mess at the moment. this made the already terrible day, worse. but at least home had your bed and no one could pick on you like everyone at school had decided to do today. especially cheryl. although you were toni’s best friend, that never stopped the red head from treating you like scum. 

finally you were in your room, able to sleep but you noticed crumbled up paper on your floor. your room was a mess, but this seemed out of place, mainly because you hadn’t seen it there before. confused, you started to unravel it when you saw the words, ‘my girl’. of course sweet pea copied it from the actual song, but he did because he knew how much you loved both the movie and song. 

you had made up your mind, seeing him was your best option. you needed to know why he didn’t run after you when you broke up and why he saved you at the bonfire. getting in the car you kept on talking yourself up and saying that he wanted to talk too. so you drove to his house. thankfully, josie wasn’t there. you walked up to the door, then chickened out. no you couldn’t do that, it was too hard. however, it was like the universe wanted to laugh in your face, sweet pea opened the door.

“y/n/n?” he asked.

“sweet pea, hey.”

“what’re you doing here?”

you looked around, wondering what to do with your hands because they suddenly felt awkward and sweaty, “i shouldn’t have come, you’re probably on your way to see josie and i don’t want to keep you.” you turned around.

“hey, y/n, wait.”

“yes?” hope.

“please don’t, come here i mean. it’s rough for the both of us. and i know this has been really hard for you, so spare us both the pain.” and it was gone.

“are you serious right now? you’re hurting? sure.”

sweet pea rolled his eyes, “i know it doesn’t look like it, but i am.”

“are you sure,” you scoffed, “ because you seem to be real happy.”

“hey-”

“also why the hell did you get so protective of me at the bonfire?”

“because you were making a fool of yourself!”

tears rolled down your face and in the quietest voice, you said, “how are you so okay? because i’m not.”

“y/n/n-”

“don’t sweet pea! don’t call me that! i’m so sorry. i-i’m gonna go now.”

And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do

“y/n, get up,” toni yelled through the window in your room. it was sunday, days after you tried to confront sweet pea. you didn’t leave your room bed when someone called, you wouldn’t let someone in your room. it had pissed your mom off. when your dad was going through his phase, you were her rock, but now both you and your father were down in rabbit holes and she didn’t know how to fix it.

“no,” you croaked, too quiet, but toni still responded.

“you have to get up one day,” the pink-haired girl groaned.

“come on girl, lets go get milkshakes,” fangs yelled, too loud.

toni audibly hit his arm, “shut up dufus, she can hear you just fine.”

you just sighed, you hadn’t been talking or moving for days so your body and throat ached, but you could ignore the pain- it was a super power that everyone in riverdale possessed. finally you had noticed silence and prayed that it would stay that way, you weren’t ready to see people, but there your friends were kneeling before your bed with faces of pity. you didn’t even hear them come in, too engrosed in your thoughts.

you shook your head, avoiding eye contact with them, looking through them like they were glass. then the tears came again. you were surprised that you still had the water left in your body to cry. you literally hadn’t moved from the position you were in since you got in it. the bed fit around you perfectly, like it was engulfing you, whispering, “stay, i won’t hurt you. stay.” so you stayed. 

crying and mourning the broken relationship 24/7 made you feel like your friends would get tired of you. you believed that soon enough they would leave you and honestly, you were thankful. the faster they left, the more you could hurt and get over it. right now was the perfect time to leave. yet, there was still a tiny part that had hoped they’d be with you every moment. luckily it was the latter. 

taking a deep breath in, you whispered, “please don’t leave me.” your mouth betrayed your mind, but you didn’t care, you needed them with you.

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you

“hi baby! i’m home!” you shouted to your soon-to-be husband. 

sweet pea came running around the corner to pick you up, “i have missed you so much, did you know that?” 

smiling, you responded,  “baby you are the definition of ‘golden retriever boyfriend’. i loved you.”

“i love you, too, pretty girl,” his expression turned serious, “seriously, everyday i see you a-and your beauty just amazes me. i truly am so lucky. some would even say, the luckiest man in the world.”

“you are too good to me, mr. sweet pea.”

he licked your face, becoming playful again, “i know, mrs. sweet pea.” 

“eww,” you tried to wiggle from his grip, “this is what i mean by golden retriever boyfriend, you’re a dog!”

“oh baby girl, i can show you dog,” he winked. you made a disgusted face.

“absolutely not.” you both laughed.

“i can’t wait until you come home to me everyday,” he whispered, dragging you to the couch.

confused, you said, “i already do.”

“no, no, i mean like- when we’re married and we can leave this place and move to a beautiful city. a real home.”

“sweet pea, i don’t care where we go. you are my home.”

Red lights Stop signs I still see your face In the white cars Front yards

Can't drive past the places We used to Go to 'Cause I still fucking love you, babe

it felt like you’d hit every single red light on the way home from school. which of course it wasn’t that many, but sitting in your car felt like forever. you looked out the window to see a white bmw. this reminded you of sweet pea, who told you how it was his favorite car and that he wanted to buy one someday. then you saw his face, in the driver's side of the car. the license plate read, ‘SerPent’. clever. of course, next to him was the girl you wanted so badly to hate, and kind of did- josie mccoy. 

he parked and ran over to her door, opening it and bowing, like a knight. something he never cared to do for you. she had a cute little picnic basket hanging on one of her arms and a blanket on the other. he grabbed the blanket and sat it down on the beautiful green grass, making you realize it was the front of josie’s house. her house was huge, definitely more than two stories. it was white all around with those roman columns supporting the balcony on the second floor. it amazed you and no doubt amazed him, too. 

the curly-haired girl looked at you and smiled, giving a little wave. you just nodded your head, and drove away when the light finally turned green. you went to the old drive-in movie that closed down a while back. this was the first place you ever had sex. it was the best night of your life. opening up to sweet pea about your non-existent sex life took months, so when you were redy to have sex with him, he was slow and sweet- passionate. you were thankful it closed down because him sharing the only thing that the two of you had left with someone would kill you. that was your experience with him. yours.

Sidewalks We crossed I still hear your voice In the traffic We're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue Know we're through But I still fucking love you, babe

“baaaaaabyyyyy,” sweet pea cried out. you two were in toni’s truck getting back from a date in greendale, currently stuck in traffic. “baby please look at me.”

you ignored him and looked out at the window. you were pissed at him for getting into another fight before you left the restaraunt. 

“y/n, look, baby, i truly am sorry-”

“save it, sweet pea,” you deadpanned. of course, right when you wanted to be angry, your favorite song turned on. sweet pea smiled and turned the volume up way too loud. then, in an effort to make you laugh, he started belting out the words, messing up multiple times. 

‘haha! see, y/n/n, i see you smiling over there!” 

“shut up, whore,” you laughed. he tickled your sides as you begged for him to stop. finally, he did.

“hey, but in all seriousness, i am sorry, but i swear i’ve been working on it.”

“i know, my love, and i’m so proud of you,” you kissed his cheek.

then he grabbed your chin, pulling you back to kiss his lips, “i love you, pretty girl.”

“i love you, too.”

'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever now I drive alone past your street

 father pea <3:

‘foreverrrrrr, i promise. rat’

you looked at your messages with sweet pea. the last text between you too in 7 weeks. you let out a chuckle at his name. remembering how he asked you to him daddy, but you couldn’t do it without laughing, thinking about saying, ‘ father pea’ instead. 

“i love you, too. rat,” you cried, in a small voice, “forever.”

[gaylittlewizardcat]

So!!! I watched the UK international tour!!! In Sweden, on two different performances, and I have many thoughts about it. So here is a big post in which I’ve tried to make my brain’s incoherent screaming somewhat understandable <3 the problem is I forgot I was making this post and it is now months later ._.

This is less of an analysis and more just me cramming together everything I remember from the show into one monster of a post lol

The overture was incredible! It was so loud my entire chest was vibrating, and I know that sometimes makes people uncomfortable but I love it. I can’t point to anything specific that made the overture great, maybe it was actually hearing it live, but I loved it!

Tugger makes an entrance, even in chorus form. You know at the very beginning of Jellicle Songs when a few cats silently get on stage? Chorus Tugger hits the wall super loudly and startles the other cats when he arrives

Munkustrap has a pretty dark voice in this production and I’m a big fan <3 And at first I thought Cassandra did too, cause both times I watched it, when she says “Were you there when the pharaohs commissioned the Sphinx?” it sounds like she does, but not really during the “Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes” line. Idk much about voice types so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but I did really like her voice (I really love international tour Cassandra so much so I’m definitely biased but her voice was great <3)

On Thursday Electra got the “When you’re walking alone” line, but she later swung on as Baby Griz, however on Saturday, Baby Griz got the line and Electra randomly appeared during the Jellicle Ball. I’m a bit confused about it but it was nice to see my girl Electra :D

During Jellicle Songs and The Naming, Cassandra and Mungojerrie were near each other and interacting with each other a lot, so I now have no other option but to headcanon them as friends <3

Misto and Cass were next to each other for like a second so Cassoffelees is canon because I said so

I love the mysic twins. Not for any specific reason I just do <3 this tour is the best thing to happen to the short haired cats’ wigs ever, I love their ears

In the first performance there was no boot that fell, so they just kind of awkwardly stopped singing and the audience started clapping a tiny bit before they picked up again, but it did fall the other time so idk what was up with that

I LOVE int tour Vicky, her design is so cute! You couldn’t really see her toasted marshmallow-iness because of the lighting but I’m assuming that’s intentional. She looked great though, and her solo was so !!!!

Ok so I know Vicky and Misto dance the invitation together in like all productions but please understand the severe chokehold monochromatic siblings has on me, them dancing together brings me much joy

Gumbie Tap is already one of my favorite parts of the show and this tour knocked it out of the park, Jenny’s “Smile!” in the middle of it is so good, it really gave the perfect vibes for my interpretation of her character. Her voice is amazing <3 the vibes were off the charts

I’ve made a note that Tugger’s voice was really good, I don’t remember exactly what it was that made his voice so good but like. Dude trust me, he’s got a good voice

Misto got the terrible bore line and really dragged it out like “Teeeeeeribel bore” it was great, afterwards he just sits on the car boot with Jelly and Skimble while pretending to ignore Tugger

When Bomba says the “curious beast” line she positively growls his name, a huge W for Tuggerlurina shipper

Casslonzo moment at the end of RTT, what better way to bond with your babe than thirsting over the guy you both have the hots for together

AND THEN GRIZ OH MY GOD Gunilla fucking killed it holy shit that voice oh my godddddd she’s a powerhouse and she puts so much emotion into her voice I was blown away every time she stepped on stage

I wrote “Bucket Boy stop being a bitch” and it doesn’t really add anything but I think it’s funny so I’m leaving it in. Munku steps in and stops Bucket Boy from being a bitch btw

Demeter looks like she’s reaching out to Griz before Bomba stops her??? my heart oof

I don’t mind the straight Griz wig for Gunilla. I think a lot of the time it makes Griz look to young, and can often, to me at least, contradict important parts of her characterization, but Gunilla’s vibes were just too amazing and she looked great, one of the few times I’ve seen a Griz with a straight wig and thought “Wow, yeah that’s really Grizabella how she should be”

Jenny is Jerrie and Teazer’s mum canon, she acts very Mum to them during Grizabella, they’re used to being trouble makers but this isn’t the type of trouble they like

Bustopher and the kittens have a bunch of cute interactions <3 example he scritches Carbucketty’s head its so cute

So Misto admires this man. He also does NOT like rice pudding at all. Blergh.

Bustopher knights Skimble with his spoon lol Also this Skimble is such a funky fella, he’s on all fours as much if not more than the kittens hehe

Teazer’s laugh is so cute <3

Misto’s voice when he asks the twins if it’s Old Deut </3 HE SOUNDS SO UNSURE OF HIMSELF

Misto spends a significant amount of the Jellicle Ball on the tire. He’s definitely played as a bit older than a lot of other modern productions, more like early London rather than 1998, he has a similar role to Munk so I guess that could be a reason? Either way it’s something I noticed I thought was interesting

You know after the white cat lift when they’re all on the ground? Tuggers mane is so big he sticks out so much it was kinda funny cause it’s this calm pause in the middle of a huge number and all I can think is “hehe Tugger is so fluffy”

Cass stops Vicky from touching Grizabella after the Ball???? Make of that what you will, but it was certainly A Moment for me

Here in my notes just praise Gunilla’s voice some more. It was just really good okay

She’s in the background during the Moments of Happiness and sings along with the chorus in Moonlight and it broke my heart like CAN’T YOU SEE SHE’S THERE AND SHE’S HURTING AAAAAA

Jelly <3 her voice is so good <3

Gus <3 he really embodies someone who’s mental energy exceeds his physical energy in a really heartbreaking way :( He keeps doing these movements like he’s preparing to do a scene but he’s too tired :(

The background of Gus’ number said Jemtoria rights btw

I’m in general not a big fan of new Pekes and Polls, I think it removes a lot of the fun in it even though I like the whole “Gus is doing theatre again” aspect, but despite that I enjoyed the number immensely because Munk and Gus’ voices are just SO GOOD like WOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tugger helps Gus change back from Rumpus Cat to his old coat btw. I thought that was important <3

OLD DEUT AND GUS HUG OMG I ALMOST STARTED CRYING THEEMMMMMM <3 Old Deut hugs are literally always amazing just because he’s big and fluffy and it looks so safe and comfortable but this had the added aspect of breaking my heart because Gus <3

Skimble!!!!!! Old Deut starts singing Skimbleshanks cause Rumpleteazer is upset and he wants to cheer her up :(

Skimble’s number is never not good <3 I had the train light shone in my face which was fun and Misto gave a lil wave to someone in the audience

My note here was “Hehe Mungo in da tube” which means that Mungojerrie was the one holding the chimney of the train, and when it all fell appart he was standing inside it laughing, it was great

Also! The feline staircase was Mungo and Munk, and Tugger was the one holding his hand. I think this version of Tugger is a lot more mature than a lot of other versions, but he kinda fades into the background? Idk, he seems much more like friends with the older cats which I think is really nice :]

In this one it’s more explicitly shown that Macavity is mind controlling the others when he kidnaps old Deut, they all fall asleep after he waves his hands at them

APPARENTLY THEY HAVE MULTIPLE PEOPLE IN MAC COSTUMES WHICH CREATES THE ILLUSION OF HIM TELEPORTING OMG I don’t know if this is new or has been a thing for a while but I didn’t know about it so when I saw it I was like :0 it was so cool

⚠️Warning, we now enter the “Nate has no clue what to say so get the unfiltered notes I guess” zone⚠️

This Demeter ough <3 is SO good. I love her.

Tbh? Macavity (the song) wasn’t as sexy as I feel like it should be. Don’t get me wrong it was fucking AWESOME and OMG THEIR SINGING but idk. Someone who doesn’t know anything about the show wouldn’t care (but I do <3)

THE FIGHT OMG the bass was so strong it was like I could feel my heartbeat /pos and after he fails to kidnap Demeter he goes after Bomba for a hot second??

THE EXPLOSION AT THE END. DAMN.

The twins (I don’t remember if this is referring to the mystic twins of the chaos twins lmao) making sure Munk is okay after the fight <3

Tugger’s silhouette caused by the train lamp when he starts talking is so cool

SPARKLE BOY ARRIVES FROM THE CEILING

I love,,,, him face <3 I need to make a “which Misto makeup design am I gonna be not normal about today?” post about him cause,,,, ough <3

He high fives Tugger, this production gave me very bro vibes for them <3

I love the way he moves, he is very cat <3

Cassoffelees canon the Everlasting Herself told me

OMG THEY RUN OUT INTO THE AUDIENCE AT ONE POINT AND CAUSE I HAD AN AISLE SEAT CASS GOT SO CLOSE TO ME DOES SHE KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HER I had the stupidest grin on my face <3

Teehee he whispers in Tugger’s ear

ITS A SMALL THING BUT “Felines and friends” INSTEAD OF LADIES AND GENTLEMEN CATS IS THE GENDER CONFIRMED

HE DOES THE SHRINKY LIGHT THING AAAAAAAAA

Griz :0

Her voice <3 love her it’s AMAZING

When Griz falls all the cats sort of reach out to her as if to help her but stop themselves [cries]

Tbh just the slightest bit disappointed at the climax of Memory, she held that One note a bit shorter than I feel is necessary for the full effect BUT OMG HER VOICE OUGH

Hehe when Griz goes to the heaviside layer she just. Floats. Bye bye.

Here are some more general notes I don’t really know where to put

Right at the end of intermission someone was looking at their phone and Skimble stood super close to them and got super startled when they noticed him and a lot of the people who saw it laughed

THEN right after someone else was glued to their phone and Munkustrap rubbed his head against them and startled them and a bunch of people laughed again it was amazing

Cassoffelees is the most canon ever, during the bows they did a little spinny thing arm in arm <3 I think about them so much constantly

Misto also does these really precise chaînés across the entire stage and I thought it looked so cool it was awesome

Also. Cassoffelees as Victoria’s parents. Something to think about (I am Thinking about it)

And still. Gunilla is a fucking powerhouse. She’s up there with my favorite Grizabellas, like on par with Eleine Paige and Betty Buckley

In conclusion: Cats are excellent little creatures

[1kook]

right place, wrong time

— a someway, somehow jungkook drabble summary Home was Jungkook, it had always been Jungkook… but it wasn’t this Jungkook. warnings angst, heart ache, its actually kinda sad :/ lmfao, jk is a little... uh... como se dice.... jerk without realizing it.... justice for oc.... also there’s a scene where oc throws up so !! rating m wc 1.5k

notes THIS TAKES PLACE 5 YEARS BEFORE SWSH ITSELF ! OK ! enjoy <3 i wanted to try writing angst again <3 also i have no self control i said i would post this in 7 hrs yet here i am. and its not proofread <_<

When you were kids, the fact Jungkook’s birthday fell early on into the school year was a huge deal; everyone in your class was invited, both new and returning students, and the event itself was practically the opening scene to the school year itself. As you got older and he began to move away from colorfully decorated parties, his early birthday still earned him a lot of attention, had everyone at your high school congratulating him from the moment the first bell rang until the last. There weren’t any grand birthday bashes during high school, but the Jeons were a loving family, party or no party, and always got him a cake to celebrate each new year. 

Up until you left for college, you had never missed Jungkook blowing out the candles for his birthday. Be it a backyard party bustling with kids or a smaller affair at his favorite restaurant, you had always been invited, always cheered for him with each new year of life he welcomed. 

As a kid, you had always been adamant on getting the spot closest to him as you sang happy birthday, beaming at your best friend like he was your entire world. His childhood photo albums had been proof of that, filled with a chronological sequencing of every birthday he’s had with you at his side, your smiles changing with the times— from missing teeth to full of braces, you had always been at Jungkook’s side. 

As a young-adult, you had to bite down your pride and watch Sojin fulfill that spot. 

You had missed his last two birthdays since entering college. Your first year away from home, everyone you knew warned you about not going home too early into the year, something about how it would solidify your homesickness and you’d never be able to assimilate afterwards. So you had congratulated Jungkook from Taehyung’s phone screen, greatly appreciating the way Taehyung angled the phone away from Sojin as best he could. Then your second year, you had been drowning in that first wave of projects and essays, and simply couldn’t squeeze a five hour drive there and back into your schedule. Jungkook understood; there was no party this year, just a simple family dinner. The video call ended soon after you congratulated him, his attention drawn away by the voice of another woman you knew all too well. 

For his twenty-first birthday, Jungkook was adamant that you attend. He had told you about it before you had left for the new semester, bent over by the front wheels of your car, making sure everything was in tip-top shape before you went off again. His t-shirt was drenched in sweat, trails running down his hairline, over the prominent veins of his neck.“I want you there,” Jungkook had said, taking your offered hand as he stood back up. He must have miscalculated— or maybe it was on purpose —his step, because when he stepped forward, he was all too close. He didn’t let go of your hand. “Please?” 

Your eyes flickered over his chest, to his neck. He smelled like home, or at least the image of it you had created in your mind during your last two years away. Home was lavender fabric softener billowing over you in waves, the faint traces of this morning’s cologne, the subtle scent of his metallic work tools. It was his chocolate curls tickling his eyebrows, his easygoing smile, the way he pulled you closer, made the scents wash over you all over again. 

It was Jungkook. It was Jungkook. It was Jungkook and his warm touch. It was Jungkook and his softened gaze. Home was Jungkook, it had always been Jungkook… but it wasn’t this Jungkook. It wasn’t this Jungkook and the hickey on his neck. 

The sight made your stomach recoil, eyes quickly averted from the site of the crime. He had gotten here later than usual, said something about having to take Sojin somewhere first. So that’s what that meant. Jungkook, unaware of the fact the collar of his t-shirt has let you in on his private life, squeezes your hand. “You’ll come, won’t you?” 

And you were stupid and you were in love, so of course you said yes. 

It’s a cookout this year, his backyard filled to the brim with relatives and friends and so many cans of beer you don’t know what to do. His parents are ecstatic for your return, babbling on and on about how much he missed you for the last two birthdays. You take it in stride, and maybe in a different timeline you would have believed it, but not this one. Aside from greeting you at the door and taking your keys off your hands, you had barely seen the birthday boy all day. You mingle with old friends, his relatives, tentatively sip at your can of soda. You’re tired, the long drive having sapped the majority of your energy for the day. 

Sometime around sunset, you meet eyes with him across the yard. Jungkook smiles, he always smiles. You okay? he mimes with a thumbs-up, and you want to say yes, but Sojin is sitting on his lap, an obnoxiously loud display, and when he puts his hand back down, it immediately finds its home on her thigh. You send him a half-hearted shrug, play it off like you're still a little carsick from the long drive here. 

(Truthfully, you are sick, but you’re not sure it’s from the drive.) 

Even at twenty-one, his family maintains their tradition and sings him happy birthday. With your return, his mother delegates you to cake cutting duties again, so you’re on standby for the song, at his side with the cake cutter in hand. Jungkook is grinning from ear to ear, Sojin attached to his hip, his arm sling around her shoulders. His family sings and sings, and Jungkook is happy. His eyes jump around the table, taking in the sight before him the way he does every year. And when they reach you at his side, Jungkook beams, reaches for your hand beneath the table and squeezes, all the while keeping his girlfriend closely hugged to his other side. 

You cut the cake. Sojin gets her slice and promptly whisks Jungkook away. 

By ten pm, you find yourself in his upstairs bathroom puking your guts out. It’s the carsickness, you tell yourself, or maybe the cake frosting, throat gagging around nothing, tears clinging to your lash line. But is it really?

“__?” someone says, and you make a weak attempt to turn towards the door. You don’t know what you expected— had you actually wanted Jungkook to find you in this sorry state? —but it isn’t Jungkook. “Shit, what happened?” Taehyung worries, hurrying to your aid. And you’re grateful that there’s someone here to help you, to save you from yourself and your stupid, heartbroken thoughts. But it’s not the man you want it to be, and that has you squeezing your eyes shut tightly, until the mascara on your lashes imprints itself against your under eyes instead. 

The man you want bumps into you downstairs, catches Taehyung helping you into the spare bedroom to lie down. “__?” Jungkook calls out, eyes big and scared. “Where— what’s going on?” he asks, thrusting his plate into Sojin’s hands before rushing to your side. He grabs your forearm, and the touch burns, so you yank yourself away. 

Faintly, you hear Taehyung explain. “She’s sick,” he says, pulling you closer. “She’s been out of it since she first got here. I think it was the long drive.” Yes, it was the long drive, you agree. 

Jungkook, unfazed by your first recoil, reaches for your arm again. “I’ve got her,” he tells Taehyung, underestimating his strength when he tugs you closer, has you stumbling into his chest. His rough handling makes your stomach tighten, your head feel dizzy. 

“Jungkook,” you gasp, hand on his chest. “Wait— I’m—“ And he’s trying to move you back up the stairs, probably into his bedroom to lie down. But the sight of the stairs and his overwhelming scent and the hickey on his neck, the hickey Sojin left on his neck, makes you nauseous all over again. 

Taehyung yelps in your defense. “Jungkook,” he scolds, carefully maneuvering you out of Jungkook’s harm’s way. “You’re making it worse.” 

From a few feet away, Sojin calls out his name. “Jungkook?” she says and her voice is so sweet, yet so sticky; it makes you gag. “Baby, they’re calling for you outside.” 

And everyone is saying his name, so he doesn’t know where to look, doesn’t know who to prioritize, not when everyone wants his attention. He looks at you, and your heart soars for a millisecond. Then it plummets when he settles on Sojin instead. “I— you’re right, Tae,” he sighs, backing off, letting go. “You got __, right?” Taehyung nods. “Call me if anything happens.”

And he leaves, slips his hand around Sojin’s waist and guides her out the door. He doesn’t look back, doesn’t even tell you to get better soon. He just leaves. 

Taehyung lays you down, doesn’t say a word when you start crying because he probably thinks it’s about your stomach and the vomiting. “It’s okay,” he soothes, helping you out of your shoes. “Does it hurt?”

Yes, you sob. It hurts very badly.

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[praisehoes-and-runovervirgins]

I had another intense daydream about DILF Bakugou. It will be a continuation from my first one. 

Again, I am not a strong/good writer so please don’t come at me for mistakes. I also didn’t think I was going to get attached to the kids but haha I did. The oldest one’s name is Liam and the younger one’s name is Noah. 

Warning: Cursing and mutual pining.

----

The elevator door opens at his penthouse apartment, it was 8:30am and you were already there. Seems kinda eager Y/N. You stir in the elevator trying to calm yourself down pressing your hand to your chest taking a deep breath as the elevator door opens. You almost forgot how to breathe when you saw Bakugou standing there in front of the elevator holding two cups of coffee. “Good morning, you’re early” he says. She’s on time, I like that. Drinking you in before handing you a badly painted ceramic mug full of coffee and turning to walk to the kitchen. You quickly walk behind him. “I don’t know how you take your coffee. I have creamer if you want” he says as he pulls it out of the fridge and places it in front of you. “Just a little sugar” you say pushing past his hands grabbing the covered sugar that was on the counter. He grabs it before you can and places it in front of you but not before you hands touch for a moment. You jolt your hand back and smile warmly as you put a spoonful into your coffee and take a sip. That was cute. It’s silent as you two take turns staring at each other while the other looks around the house or out the window. Bakugou was wearing a black tank top that beautifully showcased the muscles that were scattered with scars as a result of years of hero work. He was wearing black pajama pants that hung low enough for you to almost see his happy trail. God, he looks so good. Stay calm. After you both finish your coffee he stands up and leads you up the staircase. The apartment looks bigger than last night, the light beaming in showcasing it’s grandness. Bakugou tells you about the boys, one is 11 and the other is 3 ½. He goes on to talk about them like if they’re the best thing to ever happen to him. Who would’ve thought he had a soft side. He looks so happy when he talks about them. I can’t fuck this up. 

You walk behind him as he enters the boy’s bedroom but stop in your tracks before entering looking at the sign that says, “NO GIRLS ALLOWED” in big bold badly written handwriting. “Hi” says the older one staring at you, arms crossed and tense. No one can deny that he’s Bakugou’s child. “Hi, my name is Y/N” you said with a warm smile. The little one ran to you hugging both your legs together almost making you fall over. “I like your name. You’re pretty. Why are you here?” he said all in one breath looking up at you. “She’s here to hang out with us today,” he said, mirroring the older one. “Do we really need a babysitter?” said the older one under his breath but still loud enough for you to hear him. Bakugou looked at him and said, “Yes, you can do your own thing but Y/N’s here to mostly help your brother” he grunted annoyed at the older one’s questioning. Wow you can cut the tension with a knife. The little one hangs on your legs and you bend down to hold him in your arms. “You smell good. She’s mine now” wrapping his arms around your neck and red eyes staring daggers at his dad and brother. Yeah, he’s bakugou’s kid for sure too. “You can keep her” the older one says under his breath rolling his eyes pushing past you leaving the room. The rest of the morning went well, you spent most of the time with the little one. You guys had breakfast together. Bakugou made pancakes and eggs while the little one showed you his massive Almighty collection. The bigger one walking by from time to time just to see what you both were doing.

 After breakfast it was bathtime. You were giving the younger one a bath when Bakugou walked by. He looked in and he wouldn’t help but smile at the view of you kneeled down in front of the tub blowing bath bubbles, praising the little one for being so good at it. I think I did the right thing. Look at how happy he is. He deserves to have a content woman in his life. They’re perfect together. Don’t fuck this up man. He leans against the door frame. The little one notices and looks past Y/N at his dad. “What are we doing today daddy?” he says with a hopeful smile it’ll be something fun. “Yeah, what are we doing today daddy?”. You pause covering your mouth immediately after saying it. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. “U-Um I was thinking about the park, movie at home then dinner. How does that sound?” he said staring at the back of your head then at the little one. “YESSSSSSSSS” the little one jumped up out of the bathtub slashing your shirt as a result. You all laugh. You turn to grab the towel hanging on the sink and your eyes meet. His eyes are so intense. He probably wants to fire me. God, why would I say that. Little did you know Bakugou melted at the sound of you calling him that. Something about was so natural like it just melted off your tongue. The morning went normal as well. There were moments where you could feel Bakugou’s eyes on you. You peek at him for a second just for your eyes to meet and him to look away at the last second. When you arrive at the park you clench at your purse full of park necessaries. The two boys run away as soon as they see the playground. You sat yourself down beside Bakugou, not moving your eyes from the little one. Some time passes before you finally say, “I-I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to call you that. I-I was just repeating what he said” you explained not making eye contact. Bakugou’s heart broke a little. He didn’t mind it all. He was actually thinking about it the whole time. Imaging you calling him that over and over. “I didn’t mind,” he says, staring at you and letting out a little giggle. “I thought I made things awkward” letting out a sigh of relief moving her eyes to meet his. His eyes can really turn a hole into anyone huh. Her whole body relaxed as she put the purse on the side of the bench. “You didn't,” he said, looking out at the little one as he waved from the highest part of the playground. She sat there as they began to make small talk. “Y/N, come here. Come play with me!” the little one yelled at the top of lungs. “Coming!” you call out jumping to your feet, your breast giggling as you stand up. Bakugou noticed. Bakugou is left there watching you and the little one giggling and hugging each other. I can get used to this. 

The little one was playing in the sandbox while you were standing on the outside watching him and praising him for doing a good job. “Hey, I’ve never seen you here before” A voice says behind you, making you jump. “No, I’ve never been to this park” you say looking up at the man. He was pretty handsome, tall and wearing a bookbag probably full of park supplies. “Is that your kid? He’s cute” he says, waving at the little one. “No, I’m just the babysitter” you say, turning back around to face the boy. You turn your head to look at Bakugou and he’s already on his way over to you. “Hey man, can I help you?” He steps between you and the man. Bakugou towering over the poor man. “Oh shit, dynamight. I’m a huge fan” he says reaching out to grab his hand but Bakugou just stares at him. You are intensely staring at the two men until the little one grabs you and pulls you away from them and towards the swings. “Man, your babysitter is hot, but I’m guessing you already knew that. We’ve all been checking her out” the man said, staring at you and pointing at the group of men all staring at you as you push the little on the swing. “What?” he said looking around at all the men staring at you like a piece of meat. OH FUCK NO. He didn’t even notice how good you looked in that outfit. WHY WERE THERE SO MANY MEN HERE WTF. You bent over to tie the little one’s shoes putting your whole ass on display. He would almost hear the men gasp and whisper disgusting things about you to each other. Little explosion started in his hands. Calm down. The man walked away at that point seeing how angry he looked. He walked over to you and grabbed you by the wrist, “Lets go” he said almost growling. “Yeah, is everything okay?” you say confused. “Fucking extras..” he said looking around letting go of your wrist. You grab the little one and call out to the bigger that they’re leaving. The whole car ride was awkward. He kept looking at you from time to time and scuffing. What’s up with the mental gymnastics?. What happened? Did the guy say something about you? You barely talked to him. The next few weeks were filled with laughs, cuddles and love while you were in the Bakugou home from the little one and occasional engagement from the older one. Bakugou wanted to make you feel more at home so he would buy flowers and candles and put them around the apartment. It was a nice thought. 

One day you can hear him stirring and cursing under his breath in his office when you walk by. “Are you coming to watch the movie with us daddy” said the little one as he came into the office. “Nah. You guys can watch it. I’ll sit this one out” he said turning around in his computer chair to look at him. “No, I really want you to. We have to watch it like a family.” he looks up at him and attempts to do the world’s best puppy dog face. “I don’t think so” he twirls in his computer chair back to the computer. “I think It'll make Y/N pretty happy.” he says squinting at him. “Right Y/N?” Manipulative little brat “It would make me very happy” you straighten your back as you hear your name. “Okay” he says standing up from his chair walking behind you as you go to put on a movie while sitting on the couch. The little one was firmly placed on your lap while the older one was on the other side of the coach on their phone. Bakugou sat next to you placing his arm above the coach behind you. 30 minutes into the movie both Bakugou and the little one were snoring. The little one now wrapped around your chest drooling on your collarbone and bakugou knocked out on your shoulder. This felt nice. You continued and watched the movie trying your hardest not to laugh loud enough for both of them to wake up. Once the movie ended it was already dark out so you decided to shift your way out of bakugou’s grasp now firmly wrapped around your waist and bring the little one to bed. The older one watching your every move. 

You’re about to wake up bakugou still knocked out on the couch when you hear, “You’re not our mom you know”. You turn around to see the older one standing there, arms crossed. “I didn’t think I was honey” you say softly walking over him. He steps back and stares at you. “Y-You’re acting like-like our mom used to” he said in almost a whisper. “I’m not here to replace your mom my love. I’m just here to make your family’s life a little easier. I’m sorry if I’m stepping on anyone toes.” He huffed in response. “I just miss her sometimes and you kinda..” He stops himself. You sit down in one of the stools in front of him. “I’m here if you wanna talk about it” you say looking at him. You were unsure about what happened to their mom. Bakugou never mentioned her and neither did the kids. It was almost like she didn’t exist until now. “She left us a while ago. She told us she was coming back for us but she never did. I-I don’t know why” he looked like he was going to cry. You jumped out of your seat to hug him but he rejected it, pushing your arms away. “I can’t trust you. You’re going to leave just like her” he said as he ran to his room and slammed the door. You didn’t want to leave him like this. You couldn’t leave him like this. You waited a while and decided to make him his favorite meal, spicy ramen. You go in front of the door and knock, “I left some spicy ramen in front of the door. I figured you were hungry” you say leaning against the door. No answer. You can hear the door slowly creak open as you walk away and you smile.

 You walk away going downstairs to clean up the mess you made. “Hey” a voice says from the couch. Bakugou stretches his huge muscles and it makes your knees feel a little weak. “Hey sleepy head” you say lovingly. “How long was I out?” he said looking for a clock. “I’m not sure, A while I guess. I finished watching the movie a while ago” you said scrubbing the dish. “Oh” he said in a raspy voice. “Anything happened?” he said, reading your tense body language. “Liam brought up his mom” you said biting your bottom lip not meeting his eyes. “Oh fuck, that agan” he says wiping his mouth with his hand then rubbing his neck. “Yeah, he was pretty upset. Do you mind if I sleep over. I’ll sleep on the couch if anything. I want to make him his favorite breakfast in the morning.” you look up at Bakugou almost with tears in your eyes. She really likes my kids, wow. “U-Um yeah, you can sleep over whenever you like. We have an extra bedroom. I kinda like it better than you going home.” he says looking for your reaction. “I really only use my place to sleep and come back here anyways” you say giggling. “Then you should just move here” he says. 

You both stare at each other. “Yeah, I think I’d like that,” you said trying to conceal your smile.

Tag: @lil-miminini ❤️

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Smile For Me, Sweetcheeks ~ Ghostface x Fem!Reader

I've thought of this for a while, and it's gonna be

F U N

---

Y/N opened her eyes groggily, finding herself on the grassy ground - As she lifted her head to scan her surroundings, she realised she was in some strange, dark place that resembled some weird park with tall trees, yet had random small buildings here and there...It almost seemed like a place to play hide and seek, was her first thought.

Next to her, 3 other people were getting up, looking extremely frightened, as they bolted the hell out of that spot, going in different directions.

But Y/N didn't, and instead, she walked around aimlessly, until she spotted someone dressed in all black, with a weird ghost-like mask, peeking from behind an old car, almost timidly, only to see him wave at her.

Grinning at him, thinking she finally met someone friendly around this place, she extended her arm up in the sky, waving excitedly, which made the man make his way to her.

"Hi! I'm Y/N! It's great finally seeing someone nice around here. The 3 other guys just yelled in my face and ran away. How rude, right?!" she sighed, crossing her arms with a pout, before going back to her friendly smile, extending her hand to shake his. "Woaw, those guys are jerks. Call me Ghostface, darling." he said in an amused, yet somehow hoarse voice. "Uhhh, Ghostface, how cool! You must be a horror movie fan, then? So am I! ...Hmm...Actually, do you have any idea how we got here? I think I need some lecithin, my memory is failing me." she scratched the back of her head sheepishly, only for him to chuckle. "Welp, there's 4 survivors and a killer. All you gotta do is either repair 5 generators and find the exit...Or find the hatch and escape. Basically, don't die, I guess. Fun, huh?" the guy explained, putting his arm around her shoulder, guiding her to who knows where. "...What the hell is this, the Hunger Games?" she looked up at him with a weird look on her face. "Haha, that would be fun! Alas, nothing like that. Ah, look at this, a gen! Here I'll show you how to repair it. You have to tinker with these parts, and then merge these together...You get the cables in the respective coloured sockets...Et voila! Haha, look at it! Fireworks! What a reward!" Ghostface clapped and cheered at the fireworks the generator made, laughing at the startled look on the girl's face, as she clearly didn't expect something like that to happen. "Uh...Honestly, this is insane. Can't we just, like...Go home? I don't think I'm up for dying, even if someone paid me to go through with this silly game." she sighed, crouching down to the next generator, awkwardly trying to repair it, but she was much slower and clumsier compared to him, and it even exploded in her face, making her yelp and fall down. "Dude! Not cool! This gen is working against me!" "Shoulda seen the face you made, toots! Haha, so funny! You're very entertaining, girl. Here, lemme help ya out." he said as he got on the other side of the of the gen and helped repaired it. "You're a real pro at this, man. Have you been playing this for long? Did they at least give you a worthy amount of money for the trouble you're going through? I mean, I'm sure you won very often...Or maybe you're like...The tutorial teacher or something? Is that why you look eccentric compared to those lame-os?" she was asking so many question, but boy, was she so off that it amused the killer so much! He now perfectly understood the wolf who dressed as a sheep, it was too much fun! She was so blindingly trusting, he could mess with her, and more, with the survivors at his heart's content! "Yeah, I win quite often, but they don't pay me! The guy is kinda blackmailing us to play his game, but it's fun when you get used to it." he explained, only to have two other survivors go past them - Her and Ghostface waved at them merrily, but they just shrieked and ran the hell away from there. "...Do I look that scary?" she muttered, looking at the man next to her with a confused expression. "Nahhh, you're a cutiepie. Those guys are just jerks." he petted her hair, beginning to walk again, only to find some really nasty, rusty hooks. "U-Uhm...Gh-Ghostface...? What are these for...?" she stuttered, frowning as she clinged on his arm instinctively. "I think you already know, toots. Careful with those, killers LOVE to impale their victims on these things. It's like a sacrifice for the big guy who's keeping us here." he chuckled as he watched the girl tremble like a little lamb seeing the knife approaching her neck. "...Can we go away from here, please? M-Maybe we can look for the...Uhm...Hatch, you called it?" she muttered, pulling him away from there. "Yeah. It's like a trap in the ground that leads to safety. It only appears when there's only 2 gens left. Felt that shockwave? It meant that the Hatch just appeared. Ah, sorry baby-cakes, I gotta run, but I'll see you around before the match ends, okay?" he was grinning under his mask, knowing that he has to kill the other 3 to make sure the Entity doesn't punish

either of them for some annoying reason...And oh, the shock and horror on her face will be fun~. "N-No...! Please don't go! This place is huge and scary, I'll get lost without you! And who knows what would happen if the Killer finds me? I don't wanna end up...Th-There...!" awww, that cute, little, frightened pout on her face, how lovely~! If only she knew... "Don't worry, cutie, is'yo' first game, the Killer ain't gonna mess with ya, I promise. And if he does, Imma make sure he regrets it. I'm sort of a boss here, you see." he put cupped both his gloved hands on her face, pinching them a bit too hard, just to hear her yelp one more time - And clearly, she didn't disappoint, as her eyes even watered a tiny bit. What a cute little lamb... "...If you're sure, then...Okay. I trust you." she muttered, turning away as she started walking away, only for her to look back at him and yell "Make sure you stay safe too, okay?! We have to escape this place together!" He raised his arm and waved dismissively, barely able to keep himself from laughing, as he started running and stalking the annoying survivors who actually thought they'd have such an easy game!

No, no, clearly not with him!

First, he slashed one of the survivors and put him on a hook, then mori'ed another and took a really cool selfie with their bloody face, and the last one he just messed around with, before repeatedly stabbing his back and throwing him in a corner, just where the Hatch was.

Those idiots thought they could escape him.

Think again.

He wasn't that idiot 'Legion', or that lame ass Amanda. Four lame thugs who can't do a simple job properly, or Jigsaw's useless lackey. Keh.

And at least he was fun, unlike Boring Michael! I mean, look at this masterpiece he made, it's a perfect piece of art! He even wrote Y/N's name on the wall in front of the hatch, so she could see and appreciate his work!

A loud noise that resounded through the place made him realise that, as he was having his fun playing with the obsolete Survivors, his cute little Y/N had her fun repairing generators, meaning that the exits could be activated, if he wasn't careful.

He had to find her quick.

Not that it was difficult for the Master of Stalking, especially since she was so clueless that she didn't even crouch to hide, or at least try to hide in lockers.

There she was...! Look at her, watching everything like a frightened meerkat! Aww, how he wanted to boop that cute nose of hers~! Maybe he could even let some blood paint her nose, and make fun of her, calling her Rudolph!

Ahh, Ghostface, you're so funny!

Yeah, Ghostface, I KNOW, right?!

"Yo, Y/N, over here! I found the hatch! Come on!" he waved his arms up in the air, yelling for her, and the look of sparkling glee on her face as soon as she saw him...Wasn't she such an adorable dummy~? "Ghostface, you're okay! I got so worried when I didn't see you in so long! I heard screams, and I thought something happened to you! I got so scared that I ran away and tried to do the last generators...And then a loud noise almost deafened me, and I had no idea what to do." she gesticulated rapidly, making him chuckle in amusement. Of course, he was worried for nothing. She wouldn't realise what she'd have to do, even if it bit her leg. Hmm, actually...~ "Nahhhh, I'm cool, haven't see the killer. Here, take the key, it will unlock the hatch. Less'goooo~!" he put his arm around her shoulder, guiding her casually where the hatch was, making sure she didn't see his work of art yet. "Oh, so this is the Hatch, huh? It looks scary. Are you sure this isn't some ladder that leads straight to hell or something? It looks...Shady." she muttered, looking at the dark abyss down below. "Don't worry, chickadee, ain't that long of a ride down. It's like a bunker filled with survivors, you'll be okay. They'll tell you what to do from then on. If you're scared, take this flashlight. See? You can see the bottom of the ladder. You'll be okay." he chuckled, weaving the flashlight around. "Wait...You're not coming down with me?" she gasped, her eyes carefully searching for the truth in his...Covered face. "I'd go down on you any day, sugar, but maybe next time we get to play around." he laughed crudely watching her frowning, flustering face. "H-Hey, don't be a jerk! I'm just worried about you!" she muttered, looking away, hoping her hair would cover her blushing face. "Hahaha, you're so fun to tease, Y/N. Only one person can go through the hatch. But s'all cool, I just gotta open up the door, since you did a great job with the gens. We'll see each other later, I can promise you that. Can't get rid of me that easily." he sniggered under his mask, waiting in anticipation until the girl realises his true nature. "Mhh...Alright...If you're so sure..." she muttered, shakily stepping down a few steps, only to be stopped by the man who took out a camera. "Wanna take a selfie before we finish this? Y'know, your first game, and a victory nonetheless...Come on, Smile for me, Sweetcheeks~!" he got on his knees, raising his mask a bit, before gluing himself to her body, one of his arms extending with the camera, while with the other he grabbed her face, kissing her cheek, making sure he guides her eyesight to his masterpiece, and as soon as he heard her gasp, he took the photo.

It was worth more than all the money in the world.

"Y-You...? You were the killer...?!" awww, look at her tremble! Her eyes were glistering with tears, and her plump, rosy bottom lip was quivering in betrayal. "You're too cute for this world, Y/N." he harshly put his mask down, before showing the girl the selfie he took as he mori'ed one of the survivors, and waved her goodbye with his knife, as she quickly descended down the ladder, soft whimpers echoing through the place.

"Till we see each other again, sweet cheeks~." the Killer rose to his feet, slamming down the hatch with his boot and wiping the blood from his knife with his latex glove, before laughing loudly at the endearing experience he just had.

If THAT was the reaction she had when seeing his little gift for her, imagine her cute faces when he'd actually go down on her, as he promised~.

[gingeraleluke]

𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘀

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: tom holland x fem!reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: your boyfriend got home just in time to watch his most recent interview on tv with you.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: swearing, nothing just fluff! :)

𝗔/𝗡: this is my first time writing for tom so i hope you guys like it!! <3

this is based on the spider-man: far from home interview with jimmy kimmel!

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

the young girls heart was silent for the first nineteen years of her life. nothing but a faint heartbeat and some clouded thoughts of little to nothing inconsistencies. from the moment she first opened her eyes as a baby, separating her fingers and spreading her toes while her newly polished eyes tried making sense of her surroundings, to the ripe summer when her mother insisted she become a camp counselor to succumb enough money to buy her very own long-overdue car. the girl felt nothing.

the teens she longed to be alike were a mere hourglass, y/n a shadow. portraying their success and growth without mirroring any of her own, she felt like a weak duckling surrounded by marvelous swans. she would spend her youth watching blondes fall for brunettes on television, plopping popcorn into her mouth while pressing rewind on her favorite romantics, watching the way they would look at eachother and move with one another. she never thought she could be able to experience that. everything inside her was too quiet, too plain.

and then she met tom. it became loud, too loud, and she loved it. everything she thought she could never achieve, she achieved with him. her colorless days no longer existed and she fell deeper and deeper in love with him everyday.

switching the tv from some medical soap opera, y/n sat on her couch. she wore nothing but a plain bra and a pair of baby blue satin shorts. normally, she’d cover up more, especially if she had company over, but tom was a different kind of company and a comfortable one at that.

“THOMAS HURRY UP!” she could hear her boyfriend yell a faint, “i’m coming,” through the noise of the water running. shortly after, the shower stopped as y/n scrolled mindlessly through her phone, impatient.

she expected to see her boyfriend walk out of the bathroom, a trail of steam behind him, but instead she heard the loud roar of a hairdryer.

“for fucks sake-“ her mouth was lacking the salty and buttery flavor she craved so she took the opportunity to use her time by putting some popcorn in the microwave while her boyfriend blowed out his hair.

as she watched the minutes on the timer go down, the machine dinged as she grabbed a bowl and poured the snack inside it. she made her way back to the bench sofa and extended her legs out on the grey island cushions. the lace on the trim of her shorts tickled her feet as she folded her legs. “TOM HURRY THE FUCK UP, ITS ALMOST STARTING!”

the girls mouth was full as she yelled, losing patience with the boy. “IM SORRY, IM COMING!”

minutes later, a shirtless tom holland, wearing nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist, appeared in their shared living room. the girls eyes grew big, his doing the same as he took in her taboo and exposed form.

“what- tom! you haven’t even gotten dressed yet?!”

“well, neither have you, apparently! plus, this is pretty comfortable, is it not?”

“tom-“ she warned.

“i got it, i got it..” his bare feet slapped against the hardwood floors as he quickly ran into their bedroom and retrieved his clothes. he came back out wearing a black t shirt and a pair of light blue sweatpants.

“KIMMEL IS STARTING!” she pointed at the tv and looked over to see tom bounce down onto the couch next to her, sprawling his legs out like she had done earlier.

“baby, that’s just the intro, i’m not there yet.” she peered over at him.

“who said i’m watching this for you?” he turned his head and made a sarcastic face.

“yeah, sure..” he mocked.

“WAIT, i need my blanket! go, get it, i don’t want to miss this!”

“y/n, it hasn’t even started yet-“

“now tom!”

“but what if i miss it!”

“you were there, you already know what happens-“ you lightly shoved his clothed knee and he sprung to his feet, so fast that tessa jolted up and ran after him.

“tessa! calm down!” the dog didn’t listen and continued following her dad, panting the whole way back.

once they were settled, jimmy announced his upcoming guests before a quick commercial break.

“quick, my ass..” she muttered.

tom stifled a chuckle. “why are you so bent up about this? you’ve seen my interviews before!”

“yeah, but i’ve never been able to actually watch one with you! it’s like… an entirely different experience!”

he didn’t believe her. “are you sure that’s the real reason? or is it because you just want me to give you secret info on the film, because love, you know i can’t do that, not after last time.”

she placed a hand on her chest playfully, “tom! i would never, how could you think of me like that?! as if i would ever do such a thing!”

“mmhmm..”

the commercials came to an end and y/n looked up to see jimmy start announcing the cast.

“shit, oh my god, it’s happening.”

“shhh, calm down!” tom laughed, placing a hand on your shoulder, his other arm sprawled out behind the frame of the sofa.

“how can i keep calm!? my fucking BOYFRIEND is about to be on tv! you know how many people can say that they are dating spider-man? like, no one!” her knee was bouncing and she couldn’t contain the excitement. watching someone on television while sitting in the same room with them was a rush she had never felt before.

she was loud as hell inside.

“please welcome, tom hol-“

“WHOOOOO, YEAH!!” she started clapping dramatically and stood up for a quick second, her eyes glued to the tv as she watched her boyfriend appear, while her actual boyfriend sat there laughing at her excitement.

they did a stupid elevator bit, before him and everyone else walked up to their chairs.

“really, tom?” his dark eyes flickered to hers. “what?! i thought you would like it, it’s funny!” she rolled her eyes and smiled, thinking to herself: my boyfriend is a dork, even on national television.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“oh my god, you all look so good.”

“i know, right?”

“look at jake!”

“yeah-“

“look at zendaya!”

“i know-“

“OH MY GOD LOOK A-“

“OKAY Y/N, i get it, everyone but me is attractive, thanks. you’ve made it pretty clear.” he frowned as you gushed over how good his coworkers looked.

“yes, tom! i think you look awful, that’s why i’ve been dating you for the past four years, because i think you are ugly.”

he looked at his girlfriend, uncertainty in his eyes.

“oh, come on, i’m joking! you’re beautiful, come here.” she grabbed the side of his head and pulled him over so his head was laying on her chest. she began to play with his hair while watching.

“so the trailer came out, the trailer got like 135 million views within the first hour-“

“yeah it did!” she exclaimed, her fingers busy in his hair.

“see, i didn’t know that then.” he muttered, his brows furrowing together as tessa looked up at him from y/n’s lap.

“well it’s no secret, i’m not very good at instagram.”

y/n bursted out laughing. it wasn’t even that funny, but all of her emotions where heightened in this moment.

“oh god, i know where this is going.. this is the zendaya story isn’t it?” you smirk down at him and he lifts his head to nod at you.

“i knew it..”

“i basically.. forgot to post the trailer.”

“that’s bad.”

“yes jimmy, yes it is.” she couldn’t contain the snickers leaving her mouth and tom protested against it.

“listen, it’s difficult for some people, okay!”

“mmhmm, whatever you say baby.” she remembers distinctly, waking up and asking her boyfriend why he never posted the trailer, which caused him to wind up into a frenzy and immediately contact zendaya for assistance.

“well, you wouldn’t tell me how to!”

“tom, you’re a grown man! you should be able to figure that out yourself, peter parker.” she leaned over and kissed his cheek, his arm wrapped around her.

“so you’re IT for the team?”

“yeah, y/n, making poor zendaya the it for the team-“

“oh, shush, it was funny as fuck. but not as funny as the time you spoi-“

he placed his finger on her lips to quiet her, “oh, stop it!” she giggled in response.

she watched as zendaya recalled the moment she had to screen record how to delete an instagram story for him, which was another thing y/n refused to help him with. sure, she loves him and all, but watching the panic on his face as he realizes that he messed up, always cracked her up. especially since he brags about how ‘tech savvy’ he is for his age.

“it’s not my fault you’re a grampa!”

“yeah, we’ll, you’re dating a grampa!”

“true, i am.”

her hands reached towards her blanket as she put her popcorn bowl down and laid the covering over her and her boyfriend. the grey weighted blanket matching the couch perfectly.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“okay, wait…why are you guys still in highschool?!” y/n had paused the program to engage in a very serious and heated discussion about the aftermath of endgame which led up to the beginning of his new movie, far from home, which had yet to come out.

“i mean.. it’s five years! i’m so confused.” tom sighed, placing his hands on his knees, he sat up straight. “like i said in the interview, y/n, i don’t know.”

“well… ask the russo brothers! i mean, jacob is right, that’s a huge plothole!”

toms eyes sparkled as he looked at his lover trying to make sense of the whole thing.

“i… i don’t even know what to say right now. my whole life is a lie!”

“okay, let’s not get too dramatic here-“

“NO, tom! as an avengers fanatic, i need to know!” she gripped the hem of his shirt and tugged, his body jolting forwards.

“tell me!” she shook him as he laughed and tessa barked.

“i don’t know, baby!” she frowned slightly and looked at her boyfriends amused face.

“i’m dating spider-man, you’d think i’d get the inside scoop.” she rolled her eyes and placed her legs back up on the cushions. tom leaned over and looked her up and down, flickering from her bare chest and her eyes. he leaned into her neck and started planting kisses. “i’m sorry, i will be sure to ask someone at marvel for you.” she smiled sweetly before thanking him.

“has everyone seen avengers: endgame?”

the girl rose to her feet, the blanket stuck to her bare legs. “yes, jimmy, i have! i saw my boyfriend get dusted right before my fucking eyes!”

tom remembered the first time he watched the film with her. it was hard for him to keep it under wraps and while he did end up telling her some spoilers, he kept out the whole ‘death by thanos’ part.

“okay, calm down little one.” he reached his arm out to pull her down, back to the couch.

“tom, baby, i know you like.. could get in trouble for it but-“

“y/n… not this conversation again.” he put his hand up to his forehead, two fingers on the bridge of his nose. she knew that if she prodded and poked in all the right spots, that her boyfriend would give in. that it just took a little push for him to confess all the dirty details of his new blockbuster.

“come on! i am begging, tom- i have so many questions, can you blame me? i mean… mysterio, like.. what’s that guy all about?! he’s a villian right?”

“well…”

“a hero?”

“definitely not.”

“antihero?”

“not exactly-“

“UGH, tom! you are killing me here.” she whined, putting her hands on his chest as the paused tv shined upon his features. “please give me something… anything.” she trailed her fingers down his chest, tauntingly.

“anything?” he smirked at her.

“yup. like… maybe just exactly what jakes character is? i mean, i remember him telling us at dinner that time, but that was barely enough, i mean.. there’s gotta be more right?”

“go on.”

“and mj, i mean.. is peter finally going to ask her out? baby, so many questions, i just have so many.”

“well… i guess i could tell you one thing..” he tempted her. her lips twitched upwards as she pressed her forehead against his.

“mmhmm?”

“i could tell you that… the ending of the movie?”

“yeah..”

“is fucking fantastic. really, it’s brilliant babes.”

“because?”

“you will just have to see-“ he was cut off by his girlfriend hitting him in the face with a pillow.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE TOM-“

“quiet down! you are going to get tessa all going..”

“sorry…”

a moment of silence passed as tom squealed, “for fucks sake tom!” in his best high pitched, y/n impression possible.

“shut up!”

the two laughed before she clicked play.

“you look so good here, tom. it’s so weird like- i’m sitting next to you-“ she pointed at tom, “but, there you are on tv!”

“you are just realizing this?”

“well, it’s like inception!”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“i was told, it was a wedding!”

her chest boiled with anger as she quickly hit pause. “NO BECAUSE, fuck you for that! i remember being all excited, thinking tony and pepper were gonna have a beautiful wedding, only to see hes fucking DEAD.”

tom couldn’t hold in his laughs. “i’m sorry, i didn’t know!”

“well it’s pretty obvious, tom! everyone’s sad and in black, baby, you really are an airhead.”

“hey-“ she cut him off with a kiss to his lips.

the two cuddled up while watching the interview, small laughs leaving their bodies.

“like, zendaya! when did you find out how endgame ended?”

“oh, i remember. me, jacob, and zendaya were all in a facetime call freaking the fuck out, while my boyfriend over here, was chilling like nothing was wrong.”

“you guys were in a facetime call?” he questioned.

“yes! i was heartbroken and i had gotten a call from z who was clearly also upset!”

“well, he’s fine clearly! i mean, i wouldn’t be in far from home if peter was dead, right?”

she looked up at him, his heartbeat still lingering on her skin. “so you can tell me that you are still alive, but you can’t tell me about jake gyllenhaals character?”

“well, it’s a given! obviously peter is alive!”

y/n groaned, her head now resting on his chest.

“dating a superhero is difficult.”

“aww, poor darling, i’m sure it is.” he peppered kisses along her forehead.

“hey! you ate all of the popcorn?!” tom was flabbergasted, his voice heightening a few octaves.

“yep, and what about it?” her tone dripping in sass.

“i wanted some, for one!”

“too bad, maybe if you would spill the deets on far from home, you’d get some of my popcorn. hell, tom, if you confess right now, i’ll make you a whole bowl!”

“no.”

“well it was worth a try!”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“i can’t believe it’s over.” the house was completely silent, the only thing audible being tessa’s light snores.

“i’m gonna miss that guy..”

“baby, i’m right here.” he placed his hand at the small of her back, looking at her lovingly.

“i’m talking about mysterio.”

“oh, yeah, great!” she giggled at his response. “he’s just so hot, tom! way hotter than peter-“

“yeah, maybe if you think manipulation is hot!”

her mouth fell agape at his words.

“what?” he said, oblivious to the screw up he just made. she smiled widely at him as he slowly was hit with realization.

“oh, fucking damn it!”